#it feels ugly and underused

[ponett]

Do you think the Sonic franchise should memory hole certain characters? Like, Chaos Gamma, Elise, Mephiles for example (I would’ve put Black Doom here but uh, he’s a bit more around now huh)

I mean, lots of one-off Sonic characters like these already ARE memory holed. They only really exist in the games they originate from. (Ian Flynn bringing up the thought of using them in a podcast does not count as them being relevant again)

I get the desire to play with all the toys in the toy box and give old ideas a second chance that fans (and Ian) have, and there are definitely a handful of currently unused or underused characters I'd like to see come back. (We REALLY need Sticks back, and the Classic comics desperately need more Honey.) And I'm glad we're in this era where the Sonic series is less ashamed of its weird history. But also, like. Some of those were genuine missteps, and we've moved on for a reason

It feels like every month I see more and more Gen Z Sonic fans who weren't even old enough to have played the games when they were new reminisce about how "cool" it was to give Shadow a gun, or how "awesome" 06's story was, and how we should go back to that "peak" era for Sonic, and I just cannot get on board with that. It was called the Dark Age of Sonic at the time for a reason. I had to actually play those games when they came out. I was hyped for them and really, REALLY wanted to love them. But they were janky, ugly, unfun games with terrible stories that abandoned so much of Sonic's identity in favor of chasing contemporary trends. They were Sonic games that wanted to be anything BUT a Sonic game. There may have been some stuff I liked in that era (the Rush games, and honestly I always liked Black Knight), but it was miserable not knowing if we'd ever get another truly good 3D Sonic platformer again

Maybe it's easier to look back on certain elements of those games fondly now that time has passed and we know we did, in fact, get more Sonic games after them that were actually good. But Sonic is in a WAAAAAYYYYY better place now than it was when I was in middle school. I do not yearn for Mephiles and Elise to come back. It would be funny if they did, but I don't think we need them

[hedghost]

Hedge’s Unofficial Ratings of 2024 Adidas Kits That A Few People Asked For This Time

Let’s start strong with Germany! Did someone say kuntenserven?

Everyone’s seen this home kit and rightfully, everyone loves it. It’s just so sexy, how could you not? The crisp clean white paired with the classic adidas stripes, but with that sexy germany flag gradient? oh lord i’m weak at the knees. Naturally it’s helped by the fact that the germans have a pretty sexy colour pallete to work with, but still.Even the diamond detailing like oml. It just looks fire, literally. i love it. -9/10

The away kit meanwhile is kind of spinning my head a bit. I genuinely don’t know if i love it or hate it. in theory i love hot pink kits, but i also fucking hate the purple gradient. if the whole thing was pink i’d say absolutely yes because i genuinely love garish eyesores, but this is just not hitting the spot for me. also what’s with the pattern? this is what i imagine you would see if a hedgehog went down on you. undecided - 5.5/10

Wales’s sense of style reflects their Euros qualifications… in that i’m yet to see either

don’t get me wrong the home isn’t bad, it’s just nothing special, and nothing we haven’t seen before. i like the green and yellow stripes up the side, that’s a nice touch, but other than that i’m left feeling uninspired, which is probably how the welsh feel when they watch their men’s team play. still, i’m sure hayley ladd serves in it so - 6/10

the away kit though? yep that’s fucking ugly. whoever decided that wales should include yellow in their red and green colour scheme needs jail time, and also probably an eye test. what the fuck is that shade? yellow is very hard to make look good so props for trying, but just no. plus they missed the chance for green kits, objectively the best kit colour possible, yet also the most underused. (and don’t say it’s because it blends into the grass because that’s blatantly not true). i like the fun zigzags down the side, but it’s giving reggae, which is absolutely not the vibe that wales gives. should’ve put a big dragon on the front and called it a day - 3/10

Spain, what did I just say about ugly yellow kits?

The home kit is lovely. They didn’t feel the need to push the boat out, but why disrupt a classic? These shades go so well together, and there’s also a very faint but very nice pattern on the shirt if you look closely. its bright, it’s energetic. it’s giving fire, flames and lightning mcqueen. kachow! - 8/10

Away kit is absolutely fucking disgusting. Are adidas capable of making two nice kits for one team? If you asked me to describe the absolute worst shade of yellow i’d picture exactly that. the word that comes to mind is putrid. and as if that wasn’t enough, they decided to pair it with an absolutely clashing shade of turquoise. no thank you. no me gusta - 3/10

No Scotland No Party? Well with this kit, I’m inclined to agree.

Who would’ve thought a tartan football kit could be a good idea? Not me, and yet here comes Scotland, with an actual fucking masterpiece. This home kit is just, wow. I love it. It’s so clever, such a good nod to the country, and it just looks absolutely incredible. I fucking adore it. I don’t have much else to say other than whoever made this knew what they were doing. Good job - 10/10

The away kit meanwhile, is again, astonishingly mid. It’s fine I guess. Very plain, kind of giving the colour scheme of a cartoon character but i can’t put my finger on which one, but it’s still decent. The colours do go well together, and i like how the side panelling, includes that tartan pattern again, which as i already mentioned, is fucking sexy. just maybe stick to the home - 6/10

Hungary for more? Not really.

This is the wales kit. it is pretty much almost exactly just the wales kit. like it’s fine, but it’s just?? idk i’m bored. also why have they got two badges? greedy much? just a bit busy. idk it’s fine i have literally no other thoughts on this. boring! - 6/10

The away kit is boring as fuck too, but i actually like this one a lot. i think white kits have more license to bore. it’s a nice colour scheme too. does look a bit italian though. idk it looks good but i can’t say why. it’s just classic. the centre adidas logo looks good here. it’s the green im telling you. more green please! - 7.5/10

BELGIUM I AM KISSING YOU ON THE MOUTH

oh my god this home kit. i’m in love and i suddenly wish i was belgian. wow. holy shit. who did belgium pay to get a kit this nice? i’m in genuine awe. the sexy sexy maroon colour, paired with black and gold? fuck me sideways. i’m not joking when i say this kit oozes sex. that pattern?? oh my lord. it’s giving luxury velvet chaise longue. its giving old timey men in those smoking jackets, with a glass of whiskey and a cigar. i feel like i’m in the palace of versailles just looking at it. wow belgium, wow. - 11/10

not only that, they did it! they actually gave us two good kits! this one is based off tintin, and who doesn’t fucking love tintin? i adore it. lovely shade of blue, with this gorgeous pattern again, and the collar? collars should only be used if they add something to the kit, and boy does this add a whole fucking lot. thank you tintin you beautiful boy. what a kit. - 10/10

And now we’re back to normal programming with Italy

The common theme with adidas is boredom. At least when i was rating nike i actually had stuff to talk about. these are just okay. like yep okay it’s fine. there’s nothing wrong with it. i like the flag shoulder stripes. but yeah, it’s just there. i’ve forgotten what it looks like already i’m that bored - 6/10

the away kit is exactly the same. to be fair, i do like the asymmetric colour scheme, that’s quite nice. it’s simple, it’s clean, it’s just the italian flag really isn’t it? the collar is nice in fairness. it’s decent. - 7/10

Wow. Mexico. Holy fucking shit. Wow.

i literally am so in love with this kit that i’m lost for words. just everything about this is so stunning that i’m struggling to believe it’s a real adidas kit and not a fan made one from tiktok. this pattern has so much going on yet without being garish or busy, it just works. the colours go together so well, i’m just sat here staring at it with tears in my eyes. it’s art. i love it so much thank you mexico thank you - 11/10

and it just gets better with the away kit? this is so fucking sexy, so clean. it complements the home kit perfectly. it’s such a fun pattern but it’s also so classy, so beautiful. both of these kits invoke mexico without being either stereotypical or same-old same-old. i just love it. i love when kits are different!! more please, everyone else take notes!! - 10/10

Colombia took me a while but I’m actually a fan

i hated this at first because i thought it was just a plain boring yellow kit but then i saw those sexy ombre side panels. i just love red orange yellow colour schemes, like yes they hurt my eyes but it’s just such a sexy combination. fire for real. the yellow prevents it from getting top marks bc yellow is just fugly let’s be real, but overall it’s not bad - 7/10

now, you guys now i feel about black kits. more please!!! black is always sleek, it’s always classy, it’s always cool as fuck! big fan. this also seems abnormally shiny, which like okay serve i guess? the only thing i will say is it’s giving training kits with the orange highlights, but we can’t all be mexico, can we? - 8/10

Peru couldn’t be fucked and resorted to clip art

this home kit is like the definition of couldn’t be arsed. i could’ve done this on microsoft paint. i actually hate sash kits they’re just so fucking boring, and like, they just don’t look that good do they. boring. - 4/10

the away on the other hand? wow wow. this is what colombia wishes it was. this is a sexy fucking black kit, and pairing it with dark red and gold? oh lord yes please. sexy as fuck, plus a cheeky bit of animal print? okayyyy get it. even those little bits at the side that adidas seem obsessed with this year are sexy. it’s reminding me of a cheeky little leg slit in a cheeky little dress, and then you get a cheeky little glimpse of some cheeky little red zebra print thongs. okay word. peru you cheeky little minx, stop teasing me. - 9/10

Chile stayed solid, and you can’t go wrong with that.

these are both just nice kits. the home is classy, it’s just a simple white kit but it looks fresh as hell, and the red swoops look so good. also love that the patterning they’ve used on the red matches the away kit. it’s very simple but it’s clearly thought out and i respect that. they saw the others going ham with crazy patterns and stuck to their guns. it just looks nice. - 7/10

the away is a similar story - nothing flashy, but effortlessly nice. i rate the little pixel pattern, it’s simple but it’s nice. it’s a decent kit. could’ve pushed the boat out a tiny bit more but overall it’s fine. it’s giving national league a tiny bit. respect chile - 7/10

Finally, you can always count on Argentina to serve.

The home kit is just pure argentina innit? like there’s no way you see this kit and see anything other than argentina, and i respect that. it’s just a classic! it’s clean it’s crisp, we’ve seen it all before, but listen, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. can’t go wrong. also i’m a huge believer that gold should only be permitted on a kit if you’ve won something, and so mad respect for these sexy gold highlights.- 8/10

and the away kit? i’m a huge fan. it’s a nice simple kit, they’ve gone for a new shade of blue and it’s pretty sexy. the collar looks so fit here, i love it. what i love the most though, is how they’ve incorporated the usual kit into the swoopy bits? (that’s their official name now i’ve decided). anyway those blue and white stripes just look so yummy, very nautical, i’m a big fan. yay argentina! - 9/10

[theresthesnitch]

If the face fits

Jily meet cute! ....well, this might be a meet ugly, but it's all I can think of. Based on a video I saw a while back, and I'll try to post it if I find it again. NSFW below the cut.

Lily hates the first day at a new gym. 

Trying out a new gym is always a bit uncomfortable. There are rules and expectations that are common across every gym, of course, but each one has its own culture that you really can’t know until you walk in the door. What is the flow around the equipment? What is the acceptable time on a machine? Where is the best vantage point to check out the gym hotties?

Lily despises walking in without knowing what to expect, but she and Mary moved to this city a month ago, and running outside is only going to get her by for so long. She needs some actual gym equipment. So, she’s braving gym visits. 

This one, Marauders Fitness (“We solemnly swear to get you swole!”) caught her eye. It’s run by four guys, each of whom are sexy in that sweaty-abs-on-display sort of way, if you’re someone who is into that sort of thing. (Lily… Lily was into that sort of thing). They offered a three-day visit pass, and this is Lily’s first day. 

She is already feeling the distinct exhaustion in her underused muscle, knowing that she’ll be deliciously sore tomorrow. All she needs is to lift some weights, and she’ll be done. 

She pulls out her phone to text Mary, who is stuck at work, as she sits down on the weight bench. Only, she doesn’t actually sit on the bench. 

Lily turns to look and jumps up again, just in time to see a guy with messy hair sit up from where he had laid down on the bench. “Oh, oh my god. I’m so–” 

She turns and runs. There’s really no other solution now, right? As much as she liked this gym, she can never, ever return. She honestly debates leaving her bag in the locker room, until she realizes her keys are in there, and she doubles back for it. 

“Hey, wait a minute!” 

She turns to see Mr. Messy Hair coming after her, jogging to catch up. “Nope, sorry. I have, um, an urgent appointment somewhere else. Across town. I have to go.” 

“You can’t go yet,” he says, walking beside her as she continues toward the locker room. 

“Yes, I can. Can’t be helped, must go.” She tries to walk a little faster, but this guy is tall and his long legs take big strides. 

“Well, before you run out, at least give me your name and number.” He looks down at her with a smirk, and she pretends it doesn’t make her stomach swoop. “You wouldn’t just sit on my face and run, would you?”

Lily groans. “You did not just use that line.” 

He laughs, and it’s such a full, happy sound. “It’s terrible, I know, but you can’t blame me. It’s like a once in a lifetime kind of a line.” 

“Listen, about that, I’m really sorry–” 

“NOPE!” He smiles as he cuts her off. “You don’t get to apologize for that. I think we were both a little at fault for that one, so if you apologize, I’m going to have to apologize, then you’ll think you have to apologize, and we’ll be stuck in a playback loop.” 

Lily scoffs. “Maybe, but only one of us sat on the other’s face.” 

“You’re really going to make me say it, aren’t you?” He crosses his arms over his chest, a playful tug to his lips. 

“Say what?”

He leans in, like he’s sharing a secret. “I really didn’t mind it that much.” 

Lily feels herself flush. “I really have to go.” 

“No, come on. You didn’t even finish your workout!” He gestures back at the gym. “Why don’t you finish? I can help if you want.”

She narrows her eyes at him. “Was that another double entendre?” 

His eyes go wide. “No. I mean, not intentionally. I just meant–” He sighs. “At least tell me you’ll come back?” 

Lily laughs, and there’s a hysterical note to it. “No, absolutely not.” 

“What if I throw in free personal trainer services?” 

She glares at him. “Do these services involve you laying on my weight bench?”

“No, I promise.” He waves over her shoulder. “I’ll even set it up with Sirius so you don’t have to deal with me.” 

She looks over her shoulder at three guys who are still standing by The Weight Bench (an incident like that deserves a Proper Title), grinning like they enjoy watching this train wreck. One of them–Sirius, presumably–waves back.

It’s only then that the realization lands hard in her stomach. She’s seen this guy before. All of them. “Oh my god. You’re the owner?” She walks past him, a bit in a daze. “I just sat on the gym owner’s face.” 

“It was a new experience for me, too.” He follows her as she walks back toward the locker room. “I’m James, by the way.” 

“Lily,” she says, but she’s hardly paying attention. 

“Are you still going to leave, Lily?”

A hysterical bubble of laughter pops out. “I should. I should move all the way back to my parents’ house and climb under my Barbie blanket and just give up.” 

“You could,” James says. “Or there’s another option and–I might be a bit biased, but I think it’s a better option.” 

“What’s that?” she asks, turning to face him. 

“Go on a date with me?” He’s really very cute when he smiles, glasses a little lopsided (that might be her fault) and a crooked grin. He holds his hands up in surrender. “Face sitting optional.” 

Lily laughs. She can’t help it; it’s just the most ridiculous thing to ever happen in her life. She holds up a finger. “One condition.” 

“Anything,” he says. 

“Please stop mentioning face sitting.” 

[miloscat]

[Review] Wario Land 4 (GBA)

A disappointing misstep... am I the only one who thinks this??

Despite coming so soon after Wario Land 3 (the fourth Wario Land game), Wario Land 4 (the fifth Wario Land game) makes a lot of changes. It tries to synthesise new ideas with the old and ends up feeling like a bit of a mess. It has a good reputation but honestly I don’t get it!

The first thing you notice is the visual refresh. We’re on the cusp of Warioware completely revolutionising Wario’s characterisation and setting, and WL4 gets a bit of a ripple from that. Wario is flexing and posing, driving a muscle car… read the manual though and it leans harder than ever into his hilariously gross habits and self-aggrandising mannerisms. Unlike a lot of other things in the game, this combination works well.

In a premise most reminiscent of Virtual Boy Wario Land, Wario is on the hunt for treasure and goes to explore an ancient ruin only to stumble on a series of wacky out-of-place environments contained within and a big weirdo out of nowhere as would-be antagonist. The use of magic portals does a little something for plausibility, I guess. Did Wario really need a princess to rescue though? Was that necessary? Shokora at least has a presence in the story thanks to her transformation into a mysterious cat who pops up in cutscenes / Mr. Game & Watch-style silhouette person who acts as shopkeeper.

The levels feel initially like throwbacks to pre-3 style, with a critical path and side rooms, where it isn’t always clear which is which. But you do need to thoroughly explore because getting all four chests in each level is mandatory to unlock the zone bosses, plus there’s a key to find to advance to the next level. Having to redo entire levels if you miss any of these is a real drag. There's also optional mini-puzzle challenges sectioned off in their own rooms, removed from the flow and aesthetic of the rest of the level. But things change when you find the frog switch: a giant timer appears, and you have to backtrack to where you came in. Sometimes things change in the level, or you find a new path to return via, but often those progress items are hidden in this time-pressured sequence as well.

Far from being an exciting combination of ideas, I think these concepts of structure and design are at odds, pulling in different directions. Similarly, the non-damaging conditions from WL2 and 3 return here, but in a position of reduced prominence, and they've reinstated a health meter mechanic on top. (The GBA's shoulder buttons also prompted a return of the run button from VBWL, but it feels underused.) Removing the timer and health system was a breath of fresh air in WL2... now they're back, and for what!?

The boss battles are another miss for me. They're also timed, and you have to do them quick to get maximum treasure, which is otherwise kind of a non-factor. Collecting coins in levels lets you play one of three minigames (none of which are very fun) to earn tokens. You can spend these in a shop before the boss door, for a variety of effects that simply remove health from the boss. This Breath of the Wild-style "reward" of making the fights shorter by just subtracting from their health bar is such an odd choice to me. The fights themselves are fine at best, but the bosses are visually overdesigned in a purposeful, grotesque way; I suppose it's meant to be amusingly absurd but I just found them ugly eyesores.

Playing the Wario Land games one by one, I've enjoyed seeing them refine the concept and bring in fresh ideas. WL4 on the other hand feels like it's trying to force ideas in and fumbling in the process, with a result that doesn't quite come together. Even though the play control is tighter and snappier, the game is less than the sum of its parts, less pure than previous Wario Lands. The music is really strange too, trying for some kind of esoteric wackiness but maybe trying too hard... The series has never looked better, but this might be a sign that it's losing its direction. Meanwhile Nintendo R&D1 themselves are soon to be restructured, splintering into oversight roles and smaller teams, and I think the "Wario platformer" series suffers as a consequence, while Warioware's star rises. We'll see in the next few reviews I suppose...

[cineflections]

So I opened Netflix on a whim since Youtube failed me, and a new movie had been released. Looked like a costume drama, so my attention was immediately piqued. Then I read the synopsis: Red Riding Hood and Cinderella go to a ball, and there's murder afoot!

I just had to put it on!

I'm of course talking about the movie Once Upon a Crime

It started just as I was expecting. Over the top camp, like a stage play, brilliant costumes, and elaborate hairs. The protagonist, Red Riding Hood, is seemingly the normal logical character in this world of over the topness. This is enforced when she meets a witch and promptly ignores her (but we get hints that she has an incredibly dark mind, which was sadly underused)

I love that witch. She knew what she was playing and she went hard on the camp. Doing squats and pestering Red until she can cast spells on her. She didn't even get anything out of it 😆

This movie is very much a Cinderella story but with a twist (the murder plot). And I love how it's set up:

The greatest hairstylist in the kingdom *clears throat* Clair De Lune has been killed. A murder most vile according to the king who stops the ball in order to find the killer.

We learn that in this kingdom, being beautiful is everything. If you're ugly or dirty, then you have no rights (you see where this is going in regards to Cinderella?).

In comical fashion, the deductions are shouted out for all at the ball to hear. Until Red steps up and takes charge.

This is where the camp slowly begins to dissipate. With the witch gone, the king has only a few scenes. The true camp characters are nowhere to be seen anymore, and instead of a camp stageplay, it leans more toward drama, which disappointed me.

When I saw the king I recognized him from an old rpg style "fantasy" comedy series where he plays Buddha. Wish I remember the title now because that one was CAMP. But I just got snippets of him here, and left craving more.

Overall it starts promising, but falls flat towards the end. I wish they'd kept the energy up for the whole 2 hours. The story itself is not bad. There's potential in a retelling of Cinderella like this. Whether it should be a camp stageplay esque comedy... well idk. I think any type of genre would've worked. This movie however doesn't commit to the one it promises in the beginning.

Overall, I was excited, but now I'm just left feeling wanting for sth else.

[willowsallen]

Okay so 👀 I saw you reblogged the gif pack maker meme and I love your gif packs so I figured I’d slide you a couple in case you’re answering askd for it 🥺

2 (What is your favorite gif pack to date?), 6 (Which gif pack do you think is underrated (should have gotten more attention)?), 20 (What are you most looking forward to gifing this year? Any upcoming movies or shows?)

ilysm, and I hope you’re doing well! 💕

omg hi!!! ugly format bc i’m mobile 🤪

2. this is literally so difficult bc i luv so many KAHAKAJSK but maybe my newest one of rachel zegler!!! i just think she’s so gorjeen. and a lot of my packs are in my old sharpening/sizing so even though i love them (like my florence or oscar or KIOWA!!!! packs) they’re not my fav ☹️

6. honestly i feel like my packs do well but i will say my fav underused fc who DOESNT have a lot of notes is jenny slate!!!! i luv her sm and wish people played her more!!

20. are u trying to give me anxiety? SKSHSKSJK fucking everything dude like i wish i never went back to school (a JOKE!!!) because i’d have way more time. definitely finishing out the buccaneers packs i have + rez dogs packs!!! but as for BRAND new i- will keep it a secret so people aren’t waiting on me 🙈

[magpierrecanarie]

Actual doodles in class this time! They're kinda ugly tho since they're mostly for me to playtest the general gist of how they're like as a character(?) Idk how to properly describe it.

TL;DR: I talk a bit about the characters depicted here—— an unnamed character with a halo (+ her younger child self) and Maylisa, the character depicted in the bottom right.

↓↓ Click here if you'd like to know more! ↓↓

It's not obvious since these doodles were from quite a while ago, but the unnamed character here, specifically her younger self, was also present in a previous post. To be percise, it's the Orenji post with Magpierre where she was seen walking with her and the lyrics "That faraway island, covered in morning glow" was written overhead.

I haven't sorted through her entire story yet but she's based off of a Steven Universe OC I had when I was younger called "Crystal", so I'll be calling her that for now.

Of course, if you know anything about SU, you'd know that it doesn't make any sense for a Gem to be called a "Crystal" since crystals aren't gems. But because I was kinda of an odd child when I was younger (still am, I have very bad reading comprehension so I understand things differently), I wanted a character that was based off of the Cluster because I thought they (it?) were an awfully cool concept that was honestly very underused considering how much of a threat they were played out to be.

Basically what I'm trying to say is that the original "Crystal" was actually NOT a whole gem, but is actually a more stable version of the small Cluster gems shown throughout the show, y'know those weirdly formed hands and feet?

Here, the original "Crystal" was a Cluster Gem made out of 80% Sapphires and 20% Lapis Lazuli, an experiment by the Diamonds to see if they can reuse, reduce, recycle™ the shattered remains of the soldiers from the opposing Crystal Gems' forces. Partially because Sapphires are rare and they were running out of them due to the war, the other is to see if they can still maintain the abilities of a Sapphire and their consciousness despite them being a merge of multiple different Sapphires. After all, they were cut from the exact same cloth, no?

Now, you might be asking: "Didn't you literally just state that they're 20% Lapis Lazuli as well, why aren't you bringing that up?"

Well about that, like any good Manhwa author (fuck them mfs for leaving me on a cliffhanger every single episode😭😭), I will leave it to the actual post I'll be making for the original "Crystal", since I just managed to find an old artwork of her (along with a BUNCH of notes) while typing this out.

Damn, the post's getting a bit long so I'll have to speed up the pace.

As I mentioned in a couple paragraphs before, I don't have the full story and personality set up for the new "Crystal" yet. However, the basis of her entire story is that she's kind of this semi-immortal, living artifact of history who's been through most of the major historical events herself. "Semi-immortal" because the sole reason she's still alive is because of the numerous amounts of gems/gemshards she's embedded into her skin (for story reasons, I'll clarify more in the future).

I don't particularly feel like addressing this part but, she used to be this experimented-on child that escaped from a run down laboratory (right before the calendar changed) with her friend, who's a merge between one of the Anguished and their original self. Said friend was already long dead before Maylisa came to find "Crystal" (or hell, way before Maylisa was ever born tbh), but I'll try to find some time to talk about them as well since they're also based off of an old OC of mine that I'd repurposed for this universe.

There were a lot more I'd like to talk about (stuff like how Crystal escaped from the laboratory, how she was experimented on, how her friendship with the other experiments came to be formed, what happened after she left), but I don't want to leave future me with a bunch of retcons and a lack of explanations so, I'll be going more in-depth once I sort out her as a character!

See you on Sunday! B) I'll probably be posting fanart then? Maybe?

[ganondoodle]

so i hope its fine if i add it here bc it adds to this post and also i want to complain about the house too fdnfvndjnj (i havent done so much bc i thought i was being petty ..)

@blossom-beast replied to this with:

"As someone who wasn’t streaming the game and just a casual player I made maybe three things to use for getting around and nothing else. It was always EASIER and FASTER to just use a strong weapon or teleport. So I barely used any of that and it it really did feel like I was missing out in the end. But it just wasn’t something in could get into using when my mindset for it while playing a Zelda game. Is the little romba cool? Sure! Is it useful? Not really. I feel like maybe something like the beetle in skyward word I’d have used often, if it was one thing with use but it just felt too cluttered for me with everything. I’d use a rocket and glider for the depths and sky and not much else honestly. And the horse was 9/10 times more useful for the surface and didn’t explode into 40 pieces or need a battery. Also I feel the focus on building everything ruined some stuff like the house? Oh I hate the house. I was so excited at the idea of making a cute house I maybe upgraded to make bigger? and I’m just given ugly cubes and big flat area. No trees or scenery. I can make some weird shaped thing that feels empty. It could have been so good but the building gimmick felt so forced in and half baked for it."

i agree with this! alot actually, i didnt build much either, at first sure bc you know, its a new gimmick, but given how its both overused (its the solution to the majority of the puzzles) AND underused (its absolutely non relevant to the actual story- you dont need it in any way to get to the end either .... house ...) its novelty wore off extremely quickly, whenever i had to build something it was more of a chore, getting a krog (engl korok) to its friend i much prefered to jsut have my horse wear the gear that just lets you attached them to it rather than build anything thats not gonna work and more often than not, backfire and make the task more tedious- i didnt feel like i missed out tbh bc i did give it a try but after realizing that all you could build where either small little get arounds or gigantic things that are only good for a trailer but not in the actual game, i used it when i had to and otherwise didnt, put it on the list of meh things

(also .. the turning mechanic ... i think they did best they could with it but as a whole .. i feel like it added more frustration than fun bc it was so wobbly to use and really only needed for when you want to make super precise buildings, i feel like botws was a better balanced middle ground of the grabbed object turnign itself depending on how you grab it with magnesis)

the car things and anything that you can drive in totk really .. its fun for some time until you realize how little useful it actually is (not getting up steep hills, getting caught on terrain, kinda janky to control/steer) and then it also despawns whenever you enter a loading zone or even just get a little too far away, and it breaks apart even when you dont do that, which can be pretty funny when you are suddenly realizing in panic that your planes gonna blow, but also gets pretty frustrating when you build, espeically flying things, complicated vehicles that just pulverize after a bit of distance .. which given how emtpy the sky actually is is kinda a big problem bc you can rarely actually make it there with anything you build (i guess we know why the sonau mined the sonanium (zonaite?) en masse bc given the rate that these things just .. vanish into thin air after a 100 meters they would need a truckload of them anythign they wanted to do anything ....

and in the underground you can barely use any vehicle at all bc its also both kinda empty, but also has a lot of holes and uneven terrain all ground vehicles struggle with, flip around or get stuck, youd be faster jsut walking bc the time you save driving is made up with getting your vehicle unstuck again

most of the time you are gettign punished for using the mechanic that, while irrelevant to the actual story, was MADE for you to fuck around with

(and heres a bit where i think shiekah stuff would have been better, they got no wheels, but grabby metal tentacle arms that would have been so good to get around uneven terrain or rocks or anything wheels get stuck on? the actual propeller thingies could be more powerful than fans ... maybe building would be done by zelda and both powered and steered with links shiekah tech prosthetic omitting the need to a steering thing, and make part of it ingrained into the environment, a broken shrine you can take parts of etc, its harder or takes longer to build but then in return it doesnt break and despawn immediately ... fusing a proppeler to your arm so you can use it like raviolis gale ... so much possibility)

a horse is pretty much the best way to get around, which ... is kinda ironic, in botw i used horses bc i loved how they made them, they are the only horses in any videogame that felt that "real" to me, but also alot out of spite bc people kept hating on how useless they were, espeically with the addition of the eponator zero with the DLC, and now in totk they give you literally cars .... and horses are suddenly your best option xD

and the house ..... man the house was such a disappointment, i felt so betrayed after zelda apparently just ... took over your house (and there wasnt even a second bed or anything, where did link live???) but then i heard i could build my own and, me, the -plays sims only for the building aspect really- kind of guy, was so excited and then .. it was jsut an empty lot you had to put the few options of blocks together, i spent so long on that but ... its so limited (in number of rooms you can have and .. its just a premade room you cant realyl change anything about) and it was hard to make anything look decent while also have some of it functional, you had so little ways to even just .. have your house not be literallly open on some side, and the lot remains utterly empty (the "garden" doesnt really count imo) .. you cant even change the COLORS of your walls (that shouldnt be too hard to do right??) and you dont even have the option to build a roof like ... ok id rather have my old house back at that point bc at least it looked good/integrated into the world (and the way to get your horse into the stable is so ???? ... also the guy is always there .... watching ... waiting .....)

this got long again didnt it ...

seeing all the crazy stuff people build in totk kinda ... it feels like that is also a factor in why it turned out like this, like the insane things people did in botw and the (i keep saying devs when i actually mean the directors .. producers?) directors saw it and build totk just around letting people do it all 100 times more

to be clear, i think its impressive as hell what some people build (i just saw like .. a movie scene with a functioning mech gozilla and tanks made with totks building stuff ... what the fuck) and those things go pretty viral (understandibly so) but i also gotta question

as creative, free, and impressive as it is ... should that have been the focus in a zelda game? like .. is building mechas and tanks like that something that should be in a zelda game? can it be in there without inevitably sacrificing so much else? theres building games just for that? and if you want to make it zelda themed you can make it a spin off?

like i get it, people did crazy things in botw, they saw what people had fun with and dialed it up to a 1000 in totk, which in itself is not bad, even pretty good if you consider gamedevs and feeback and all that bc in general you should embrace what people had fun with in your game even if it wasnt the intent, given that nintendy listens to feedback (perhaps even a bit too much at times) and creative solutions was a central point to botw design philosophy but

i feel like totk kinda .. missed the balance?

if its really a reason why totk is build around enabling that in a purely player centered toy box kind of way without it actually mattering in the story .. or even themes ... was it worth it? not to sound like an oldschool boomer tm but in a franchise that iconic, lore and story focused, should you really abandon nigh all lore/story cohesion just to give the player a big box of toys in a world where i feel that doesnt ,, really belong? in a direct sequel in the same world with the same characters no less? that point is perhaps the biggest issue with it, bc again lots of games even if somwhat a sequel, had strange new tech or things in the world but in all of those cases it was some alternative universe, millenia after the other game, or on an entire different continent; while totk is supposedly just a few years after botw in the very same hyrule

(still doesnt explain the erasing of all shiekah things and replacing it with sonau- tho suddendly revealing the shiekah had actual rockets, wheels with suspension and grenade-launchers, might have been confusing too- you could have enabled the player creativity with shiekah too imo, and personally i would have found it way more fun ... lil guardian leg crawlies ..)

having thought about it feels rather logical why they did it in alot of ways, but also ... totk is build around it, while its also not build around it at all- its build around the PLAYER, not the world, not the story, not the theme, not the character, but YOU (especialyl those that dont realyl care about anythign story or lore stuff and just want to have fun with the gameplay loop, which isnt wrong, but i question whether thats the right kind if player to center in a zelda game .... also not saying all of those that build these crazy things are like that but- ... i hope you know what i mean)

(i know games are always build around the player, or should be, but .. do you get what i mean????? playing in a world that doesnt make sense anymore bc its all a box of toys yeeted into my face isnt fun to me, bc im here not only for gameplay fun but for the world .. theme .. characters, its something that has to be harmonical as a whole for me and totk just .. isnt)

i say it alot but i do really mean it, its very difficult to get my thoughts and feelings written out and to have them come across correctly

[godefineda]

i might remake this blog again but yeah...

[captainsaltwater]

rosa salazar as lisa nova in brand new cherry flavor ( 2021 )

[f1nalboys]

Can I get a Vincent x reader that when he shows his full face they're like in awe and ask if they can touch and if he says yes they just gently caressed his whole face I just want to love him gently 😩

treating vincent with the love he deserves >>>> sorry for the wait ily

WORD COUNT: 690

WARNINGS: fluff, mentions of insecurity, vincent is sad :(

Staying with Vincent, convincing him to keep you around, was a feat in itself. He felt drawn to you in a way he couldn’t explain and that’s what led him to spare you. After a long time together, filled with plenty of anger and sadness and fun, you finally found yourself at a place with him that he could be vulnerable with you.

Despite opening up to you in hundreds of other ways, some small and others monumental, he still hadn’t shown you his face. When he took his mask off, he kept his head down and his hair loose, obscuring it. The only hint you had on what he looked like were the old family photos you had found up in the house. Bo wouldn’t talk to you about Vincents’ face, telling you it wasn’t his place to out him like that.

You wanted nothing more than to see Vincent fully. The two of you had been together now for almost a year and you hadn’t seen his face. Now here you were, sitting on the small mattress in the basement watching the person you love work. The statues never failed to creep you out but, though you’d never admit it, they made you feel more secure in your palace with Vincent. That could have been you, but it wasn’t. He chose you and you chose him.

“Hey Vince?” Your voice was loud in the room, breaking the comfortable silence that had built up over the last few hours. His hands pause in their movements, placed on the mans chest, and he looks back over at you. He had opted for a half mask now, revealing the unscarred half of his face. Vincent smiles when he meets your eyes. “Can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

His voice was hoarse from underuse. “I was wondering if… Nevermind, it’s dumb.”

“No, no, ask me. Y’know I don’t think anything you say is dumb.”

“I… I wanted to know if I could see your face? Your entire face.” You see his face drop slightly and he turns away from you for a moment, wiping his hands off on a rag. Biting your bottom lip, you watch as he makes his way over, sitting down beside you on the mattress. “See? I told you I didn’t want to ask, I didn’t want to push it.”

Vincent grabs ahold of your hand, silencing your worries. He sighs, swallowing hard, his eyes on you. “Are you sure?” You nod, your heart racing; was he actually about to show you his face? Nodding, his hand leaves your and goes to the thin band holding the mask to his skin, hesitating. “Okay… just… don’t be scared, okay?”

Your heart breaks at his words. He sounded scared, terrified that you’d see his face and run for the hills. That your love was only skin deep. You hold your breath as he unties it, the mask dropping onto his lap with a soft thud, his head tilted down. “Vince, baby, you’re beautiful.”

He looks up at you, his hair obscuring most of his face, and you can just barely make out the tears in his eyes from the light of the fire. Your hands move slowly, brushing the hair out of his face and tucking it behind his ear. His skin was scarred heavily, his socket missing it’s eye.

Nothing about him was ugly. All of him, his body, mind, and soul, were perfect; he was art. “You’re so handsome, Vincent. God, I love you.” Your fingers brush against the edge of his scarred skin gently and his eyes flutter shut. This was foreign to him, someone complimenting his face, touching him gently as if they were worried he’d break in their hands.

“You… you think so?” His voice was soft, barely discernible, but you nod.

“I know so,” You whisper, kissing him. It was slow and methodical and you were hoping he could feel the love you felt for him through it. You begin placing kisses against his skin, alternating between sides, whispering compliments after each one. “Let me show you just how much I believe it.”

[rabidpotato]

I have Castlevania brain rot send help

Ho boy. I have FEELINGS.

Season 4 spoilers and (longwinded) Discourse(TM) below the cut

A happy ending? In MY Castlevanias? It’s more likely than you think. With as grimdark as the series has been I fully expected to have my heart torn out and shat on, so to get an actual satisfying happy ending was a whole lungful of fresh air. Gimme that sweet sweet rush of Everybody Lives Nobody Dies, I need that shit pumped straight into my poor serotonin-starved brain.

What a hell of a season. There was enough material there for at least two seasons (and I would have LOVED to have two seasons, but that’s just because I’m greedy and want more…) and I was skeptical that they could even try to wrap up all those threads..and then they DID IT. Hot damn.

Hot Takes:

In this house we stan Greta and will tolerate no disrespect against our sword-and-hammer wielding queen. I love her, and I love her and Alucard’s dynamic with the deliberate parallels to Dracula and Lisa. I think she’s good for him.

TREVOR AND SYPHA UGH I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH I’m out here crying ugly tears at how much this stinky himbo and tiny nuke love each other ;______; Battle Couple OTP.

I would watch the shit out of an entire season of everybody building the new village and Trevor and Sypha learning how to be parents and Alucard and Greta getting closer and everybody just being HAPPY. This is because I am trash, not because there would actually be any storytelling value in such a thing. Same thing with onscreen kisses between Trevor and Sypha. Is it necessary? No. Doesn’t mean I don’t want it. But hey, that’s what fandom is for, right? I’ll just be over here drawing beetus-inducing fluff and being vaguely disgusted with myself.

Papa Trevor would be so soft. I think my ovaries just exploded.

I 100% expected Trevor to die and leave Sypha grieving and pregnant with the way they teased it in the trailer and the way it would have thematically fit with the rest of the series, and I am SO GLAD he didn’t. I’m tired of sad endings. I really love that he gets to be part of this world of people who know how to build things.

“I love you.” “I know.”

That single flash of Sypha’s face as he’s fading out knowing he’s going to die and being at peace with it, augh my fucking heart. T_T

Horse is secret MVP. That horse knows things.

Isaac confirmed for a) stand user and b) monster fucker. King out here living his best life, you love to see it.

But for reals tho, Isaac’s arc was one of my favorites. Nice fakeout with the conquest line in the trailer. The philosophical discussions on the nature of humans and night creatures, the way he comes to realize that he (and Hector, and by extension his own night creatures) is/are more than a tool to be used in the hands of others, the way he reclaims his own agency and decides he’s going to live...I fucking loved it. (Also paves the way for post-series forgehusbands…)

SO FUCKING HAPPY FOR STRIGA AND MORANA. I was holding my breath expecting them to get horribly killed the entire time and then they just...weren’t. The hot vampire wives got to literally ride off into the sunset (sunrise?) together, in a way that made sense. The General and the Organizer looked at the data on the ground, discussed, and made the calculated decision to stick with what really matters to them, not just Carmilla’s ambitions. More of this, please! Would have loved to see Striga fight more than once, though. Also I would shank a man for Morana’s cape.

Respect for Carmilla for going out on her own terms, even if it did feel a little heavy-handed. The cinematography of her and Isaac’s fight sure as hell made up for it though- that was one of the prettiest fights of the series.

Reunited trio’s fight was the other prettiest fight of the series. Holy fuck, what gorgeous animation.

I actually liked that St Germain’s lady friend never spoke- it reinforced the way that he has mythologized her to the point where she’s not even a person, just an ideal. It was also exactly what he deserved that she turned her back on him in the end. She’s just not that into you, bro.

Varney is a hoot. A greasy, flea-infested slimy hoot. Nice twist, too. Death’s design is *chef kiss*

Loved the themes of moving on and rebuilding and change and how there’s a pretty clear split between the people who are able to adapt and change (and live), and those “relics of the old world” who can’t or won’t. Ratko was criminally underused in this respect. I think there just wasn’t enough time.

Quibbles:

Pacing. I know Castlevania is notorious for uneven pacing, but in this case I think this is on Netflix- they should have been given a full two seasons to wrap this up, just to give things a chance to breathe. As it was, though, I think the writers did the best possible job given the constraints they were under.

Zamfir should have lived to learn the lesson about caring for the people who are still alive, and been the one to take charge of rebuilding Targoviste for the living. Having her die was straight-up pointless in a predictable way.

Did Trevor just straight-up forget he has TWO weapons with range when fighting Ratko? You have like a 30 foot reach what are you doing bro

Lenore is Problematic, and I wish there had been more tension between her and Hector. Like, I know Stockholm Syndrome is a thing, but he’s weirdly chill with her in a way that glosses over just what she did to him. Also I would have liked to see more self-awareness of “Oh, being a pet in a cage really is shitty, no matter how nice the cage. Now I know why what I did to you was wrong” before she dips. Her ending sure was poetic, though.

Wasn’t Trevor’s left arm broken in that last fight? How the heck is he even able to use it at the end? Also damn dude it’s been two weeks you should probably at least have washed those gaping wounds by now. Do you want sepsis? Because that’s how you get sepsis.

Unpopular Opinions:

Look I love Dracula/Lisa as much as the next shipper but “Hey we’re alive again for some reason!!” was totally out of left field. It felt like something out of a fix-it fic and it was just kinda baffling and jarring. Also go see your fucking kid, jfc you two are terrible parents.

Is Lisa just...kinda fine with the fact that Dracula tried to commit genocide in her name and almost killed their son? That must have been an awkward conversation.

I’m actually cool with Alucard spilling his life story to Greta on the march. He’s starving for human interaction, who’s to say he wouldn’t just want to TALK about what he’s been through? It’s treated in a way that’s a bit flippant for my taste, but we’ve seen enough of his trauma onscreen. I want to focus on his healing.

I’m hesitant to kick this particular hornet’s nest, but I really don’t think the ot3 has to be sexual? If it is, it damn well be an ot4 polycule with Greta. I see them more as two couples that are close friends and found family. But that’s the great thing about fandom! Rock on, shippers of all flavors, there’s room enough for everybody.

In Conclusion (jesus fuck how much did I write)

Castlevania pretty

Have you seen my braincell I think I misplaced it

Moar plz

[cherrydreamer]

Daisychains My entry for Day 7 of the HarringroveApril challenge!

Steve doesn't know the car that pulls up to the lake. Ugly, boxy, some shade of browny orange that reminds him of the puke he regularly had to mop up outside of Scoops. And while he instantly recognises Max, skipping out of the car all bright clothes and loud whoops of greeting, it takes him a few seconds longer to place the guy getting out of the driver's side, following her with the picnic basket that she clearly forgot in her haste. He's dressed in a hooded sweatshirt. Black. Plain. Big enough to hide in. 

Steve’s confused until the guy turns around. Until he swipes a hand across his forehead to brush away the sweat, and the hood falls away from his face And Steve sees him. Billy. All short haired and pale and smaller. So much smaller than he'd ever seemed before.

Steve wants to wave, wants to... acknowledge him somehow. The boy who saved them and died for them then came back alive and then seemed to disappear.  But he's distracted by a hissed, but not exactly quiet, conversation beside him. Dustin, looking angry and Max, looking torn, her voice full of something pained, "Mom said she doesn't like me out all day without an adult. Not anymore." 

"But Steve's here, he's an adult. And it's not like we really want-" Dustin catches himself, but it's too late, and even though Billy doesn't react, Steve knows he's close enough to have heard it. 

Steve thinks about other things he's overhead Max saying. Whispers to Lucas and to Will. About how Billy never does anything anymore. Never says anything. How he stays for hours in his room, but his eyes are surrounded by dark circles. How she hears noises, late at night. Whimpers. Bitten off screams. Pleas. How no one's even been to visit him. No one's called. And it feels wrong, somehow, dismissing him. 

So Steve shakes his head, "Hey, no. We bought enough food. More than enough. He can-" Steve breaks off, looks straight at Billy, "You can stay." 

"'s fine, Harrington. I'll just…" his voice is quiet. A rasp that sounds underused. Rusty. "I can wait in the car."

He jerks his head over at the puke-mobile, and Steve's about to ask him about it. Make some joke about his tastes changing, how he's gone from Eat My Dust  to Bucket of Rust  or something equally lame. But then he remembers. Of course Billy needs a new car. Because his car was...

Steve shakes his head to dislodge the sudden echo of crashing metal, the phantom scent of burning oil.  The prickle of guilt. And maybe he wants to apologise. But how do you apologise for that? And maybe he can be stubborn, when he wants to be. So he just puts his hands on his hips, tilts his head all disapprovingly,

"Seriously, man? This is the best weather we're gonna get. Like. All year. Come make the most of it."

And he reaches out. He wants to grab Billy's wrist. Wants to stop him heading back. But Billy flinches, hard, as soon as Steve's fingertips touch his sleeve, and he pulls his arm to his chest, stepping back to put more distance between them. Steve's hand hovers in the air. They look at each other. Steve takes it all in. Billy, sweltering in a hoodie on the hottest day of the year. The cuffs of it falling over his hands. The way he's not looking up, staring down at his scuffed Chucks with a hole in the toe. How still he is. How tightly he holds himself. How small he seems now. Steve lowers his voice. Soft. Gentle. The kind of tone he hasn't used in a while,

"C'mon. Dustin's mom made peach pie. And she puts, like, cinnamon and nutmeg and some other secret shit into the crust," Steve smiles at him. Tries to make it as soft as his voice, "It's still warm. Tastes best like that." 

Billy doesn't eat the pie. Or any of the food. Doesn't touch the can of beer that Steve places in front of him. Steve wonders, with a sour flood of guilt, whether Billy  can  drink anymore. He knows, from Max, that Billy's on a lot of pills. Knows that some of them knock him out and some of them make him woozy and one bad combination used to make him hallucinate. Used to make him think his Dad was still there. Used to leave him sobbing. Apologising. Pleading.  Worse than the nightmares. So Steve places a can of Coke in front of him instead. Billy ignores that too. He just sits. Curled up small, head resting on knees that are tucked to his chest.  Almost eerily still. Staring out at the lake and the kids but looking past them. Seeing something else entirely.

And Steve doesn't do well with the silence. The awkwardness that builds and builds. But he can't face leaving Billy either. Not like this. It feels as wrong as sending him away.  So Steve just talks. At him. Doesn't ask how are you? or what have you been doing? Or any of the other inane questions that first come to mind.

He talks about movies. Things he's seen. The popular rentals. Goes on tangents about actors and their back catalogues. Starts talking about  Back to the Future  and veers into Teen Wolf via  Family Ties and then actually starts listening to himself and realises he's just spewing a whole load of bullshit. He ends up trailing off awkwardly, leaving the heavy silence to hang again as he picks at the lace of his shoe.

He glances over at Billy.  He's not looking at Steve, but he's not just staring into space either. Instead he's fiddling with the ring pull on the Coke can but his hood is down and the golden fuzz of his shorn hair is shining in the sun.

So Steve keeps talking. Keeps rambling. Doesn't let the hiss of the can interrupt his flow.  Keeps going while Billy drinks and while he pushes the sleeves of his hoodie up to his elbows and while he slowly uncurls. Limbs stretching out on the checked blanket, like some kind of plant unfurling to meet the sun. 

Then Steve stumbles. There's an actress and he knows she's been in a load of things and she's right on the tip of his tongue, "Thingy, uh, Anna, no…Shit. she was in the one with...with the robot.  'No disassemble Stephanie!'"

And it's not the best impression ever, but Steve makes an effort. And Billy snorts. Actually looks over, locks eyes with Steve and murmurs, "Ally Sheedy." And oh . Steve swears there's a quirk to Billy’s lips. Not much but... something.  He smiles. Makes his grin bigger, brighter. Leads by example.  "Yes! That's her. She was good in, uh, Breakfast Club too. The weirdo."

"Yeah?" Billy looks away. His now bare hands skim over the grass and Steve watches as he reaches out to pluck a daisy. The tallest one of the clump. Pokes his thumbnail into the stem. Presses down and makes a hole. "Haven't seen it."

Steve can't tear his eyes away. He watches as Billy picks another daisy and carefully threads it through the hole in the first. Keeps watching as Billy repeats the process, mesmerised by the rhythmic nature of it.   Pick, poke, thread. Repeat.

Billy notices the pause and looks up. Hands stilling, almost like he's ashamed of being caught, but it's Steve who flushes, "It's...yeah. Think you'd...like it." He thinks about Bender. Thinks how some of it might hit a little too hard, "Maybe."

"I'll tell Max," Billy nods, looking back at the ever growing link of daisies in his hands, "Get her to get it."

And Steve remembers now, how Max has been in and out of Family Video a lot 'abusing the Friends and Family Discount ' as Robin had put it. Steve hasn't realised all the videos were for Billy. They hadn't exactly seemed like his kind of thing. As if he’s reading Steve’s mind, Billy offers up the next strand of conversation, "Yeah. She...she's shit at picking out anything good. Starting to think she's doing it on purpose. Last thing she got was, uh, some fucking Care Bears one. Said I could learn a lesson from it." He shrugs, but there's that tiny flicker of a smile again as he glances over at the lake. Steve follows his gaze and spots Max holding out her arms to a giggling El who's trying desperately to doggy paddle towards her. 

Steve thinks that this time, Billy might actually be looking  at  them.  "Been lost in the Land Without Feelings have you, Hargrove?" he jokes, regretting it instantly when Billy's face falls. The tiny smile turns into a tight line, and he lets the daisies drop from his fingers.

"Something like that," he whispers, and it sounds so hollow, so hurting, that Steve can't help but reach out across the blanket and press his fingertips to Billy's now-bare wrist.

This time, Billy doesn't flinch. His eyes fly open and Steve hears the sharp intake of breath the moment he makes contact.

"Gotta say, I prefer the one with the Freezing Machine, and those little baby bears.  A-dor-able ." Steve sings out the last word, and Billy’s smile flickers back, so Steve pushes on even more, “Or maybe the one with Put-His-Foot-in-it-Bear. Y’know. The one that always manages to say exactly the wrong thing. I mean, he’s hilarious and he’s clearly the best looking of the gang but, man, sometimes he really fucks it up.” Steve pauses. Taps his fingers on Billy’s hand for emphasis, “ Good hair though.”

This time Billy laughs. A quick, sudden bark that seems to take him by surprise before it comes again and again, surging into a wave that catches Steve in its rolls and carries him along too. It settles as suddenly as it came, leaving both boys a little breathless.

“Didn’t know you were such a connoisseur, Harrington.” Billy’s voice is softer. Less rusty. “Any more recommendations of heartwarming children’s animation?”

Steve thinks about Billy’s smile. The glimpses he’s been getting. Thinks about how Billy’s voice still has a hint of laughter in it. He has an idea. “I dunno if you know this but, uh, Family Video has a special service. For some of our more...valued clients.”

“Yeah?” Billy’s gone back to playing with the daisies again, and he’s looking down carefully as his fingers weave more and more of them together, but he angles his body towards Steve. Makes it clear he’s actually listening.

“Yeah,” Steve nods, “We, uh, offer home delivery. A selection of films delivered straight to your door. No extra charge. And, uh, for our more...complex films? We offer, uh,  a personal in-home commentary service.” Billy’s mouth twitches again at that, like he knows exactly where Steve’s going. Steve pushes ahead anyway,  “So one of our more charming and, uh...friendly employees will stay with you while you watch, and offer their own unique input on the plot. Might even bring a six- uh, some Cokes and a pizza if you... if you pick a good movie.”

Billy’s grin is even bigger now. Steve  knows  he knows. But he plays along. “That right, Harrington?” 

“That’s right.” 

“And what if, uh, what if I wanted to rent  Breakfast Club?”  Billy asks, with faux innocence, “Would that come with this... personal service? And the pizza?”

Steve nods rapidly, “Definitely. Yes that’s...that one definitely does..”

Billy’s eyebrows raise, and Steve spots the flicker of pink as his tongue darts out, a shimmer of the old Billy showing through, “Sounds...sounds good, Harrington. Yeah. I...I could...I could go for that. You, me and Ally Sheedy.” He smiles, soft again, fingers playing with the flowers in his hands. Steve looks at them. Notices that he’s linked both ends of the chain together, turning it into a loop. 

“Is it done?” Steve gestures to the flowers, and Billy’s face flushes again, a glow of pink across his cheeks. Steve likes the colour. The brightness.  Instead of answering, Billy kneels up slowly and gently places the loop of daisies on Steve’s head. It’s a perfect fit. Sits low enough not to fall off, but high enough that it’s not in Steve’s eyes. 

Steve raises a hand to feel it, gently touching the tiny petals and the surprisingly sturdy stems. He feels an urge to dash to the car, to look at his reflection in the mirror, to see how it looks on him. He settles for trying to read Billy’s expression. He’s still smiling, small and warm, the pinkness in his cheeks is more of a red now, and he can’t quite meet Steve’s eyes when he shrugs,

''s a crown. Suits you."

Steve thinks it might be the lightest crown he’s ever worn.  And the first one he actually feels like he’s earned. 

[miloscat]

[Review] Wario Land 3 (GBC)

A return to a childhood favourite.

Although I played this game to death growing up, I wanted to revisit it during this Wario Land series playthrough, to see if it holds up. Short answer: it does! Long answer:...

WL3 is very much standing on the shoulders of Wario Land 2. Most of the mechanics are straight up reused, including the exploratory focus and the various zany conditions that can empower or bother the invincible Wario. The enemy cast is completely new, owing to the new setting inside a magical music box, but many of their interactions with Wario are familiar, plus a bunch of new ones have been added like vampire mode, invisible mode, or wrapped-in-a-ball-of-string mode.

The sprites from Wario's forms to the enemy cast are all delightfully expressive, and make better use of the colour palettes, this now being a native GBC game. But I must admit that after two games with Captain Syrup and her crew, that I missed her as a villain; Rudy the evil clown is not only supremely ugly and an unsatisfying twist villain, but his boss fight is kind of bland as well. Oh well, you can't win them all.

Building on the puzzley interactivity that WL2 laid down, the dev team seem to have brought an infusion of Metroid DNA over to WL3. While there are still discrete stages (and the return of the world map), Wario unlocks new abilities over the course of the game through certain treasures, and others will open new paths in previous levels. In fact, each stage must be visited at least four times to discover new bite-size challenge rooms and find more stuff to unlock more paths and so on. The options can feel overwhelming, but twinkles on the map screen can clue you in to where changes have occurred, and the helpful cave god (who is not at all a baddy that is tricking Wario) will always give you a hot tip for which level to choose for optimal progress. Overall I think this game structure works really well; while a bit experimental, it's also a natural evolution of Wario Land design principles and Metroid cross-pollination.

Combining WL2 mechanics with a more robust version of WL1's underused world-changing system makes WL3 in some ways feel like the ultimate Wario game... except for a reduced focus on coins. You still pick them up, but rewarding you with rooms full of shiny gold has been replaced with more practical keys and chests for unique treasure, and the optional music coins; both these and ordinary coins lead into an inevitable examination of the golf minigame.

The series has always incorporated minigames, which spins off into the excellent Warioware subseries. Examples within the Wario Land games themselves have always been a bit lacking. The golf minigame here, while admittedly decent and the best yet, is a little overplayed. (By the way, it's actually Wario kicking a little mook enemy rather than clubs and balls.) It's a mandatory task for some treasures, and is the only purpose for money which otherwise caps at a measly 999. An optional, longer version can be expanded with new courses by finding all music coins in a single run of a stage... if one is so inclined. I opted out of this in my current playthrough. I've played enough of this minigame in my life, thanks.

I was pleased that my appreciation of WL3 wasn't just nostalgia, it's a genuinely great game. It still has the WL2 problem of deliberately wasting your time as a punishment, but it's a reasonable consequence of the novel dynamics they've invested in Wario as a player character. As for his personality within the series, WL3 is a bit lacking in characterising Wario as the amusingly greedy, lazy, and mean weirdo we know and love. But the game in itself is so charming and tightly designed. The world map and consistently well-sprited environments gives this little music box world a great sense of place, and the complex web of unlocks and interactions seems to be just the shot in the arm that the series needed to justify this iterative follow-up to WL2. The next sequel followed about 18 months later, but before that: the cast of this game specifically infiltrates Dr. Mario 64!

[inlovewithhisblueeyes]

Stuck in Your Head

Pairing: Henry Cavill x Reader

Word Count: ~2.7K

Warnings: Descriptive Depressive Episode and Discussions about Prescription Medications (specifically missing doses and having side effects)

A/N: This is my first time writing RPF so I decided to stick with something I know well. I substituted my own best friend’s name in so I didn’t have to deal with the pesky acronyms cluttering the story. 

Buried underneath the covers, you were safe even though sleep continued to elude you. The chill of the morning was unable to pierce the walls of your blanket fortress. While the soft pitter-pattering of rain on your window would normally be able to lull you to dreamland, you were left to watch the rise and fall of the fabric.

Early daylight had danced its way across the room a millennia ago. No matter how deep you burrowed into your little nest, the light would seep through. So you tucked your head underneath your pillow and fought the urge to continuously check your phone. Watching time tick past would only make these growing frustrations and anxieties worse.

You remained curled up with your knees close to your chest, willing your hands to stop their shaking. All those exercises you had been taught in therapy seemed fruitless. Nothing could alleviate this numbness that had settled in your bones. Time continued to pass as you laid there, only daring to leave your bed’s warm embrace when your bladder was screaming in agony.

The spot where you laid never had to the time to cool. You were always sucked right back to it in record time like every episode before. Brain fog would cause the same thing every time. The days would seem to just blend into one another, a cycle of light and shadows that would chase each other around the ceiling. You would have no idea if you took your meds, what day it was, or even the last time you ate. Time would be nonexistent in your little blanketed world.

A soft vzzzzt came from outside your safe zone. Moving your hand slightly, you could just barely feel the vibrations of your phone. You paused as you tried to decide if you had enough energy to answer. It was most likely unimportant, another robocall about some silly matter. Sighing heavily, you drew your hand back to its previous position.

Silence fell over the room once more and you breathed a sigh of relief. You forced your eyes shut in hopes that you could finally sleep. Not more than a few moments passed before the quiet was broken yet again. The soft vzzzzt returned, requiring you to begrudgingly open your eyes. You hissed as you slowly rolled over, just enough to reach over and drag your phone under the covers with you.

You flipped your phone over as your best friend’s face filled up the screen. You know you should answer it, but you didn’t want to worry her. Ariel has enough going on without you dragging her into your shit. You quickly shot off one of those automated responses saying you’re busy and you’ll call back later before declining the call.

Carefully shoving your phone back out from under your blanket pile, you tried once more to adjust and get comfy. Finally, it seemed that the sleep you craved is upon you. You yawned before nestling your head deeper into your pillow and letting your eyes fall shut.

You woke up sometime later and noticed that the bedroom is almost completely dark. You dare to glance at your phone and it’s only 6 pm. Stiff limbs quickly made themselves known as you tried to stretch. They crack and pop as you finally moved them, each crying out desperately for motion.

Slowly you sit up and allow yourself to slip out from your burrito. Every movement feels as if you’re wading through an endless pool of molasses. You rise to feet carefully and your knees buckle as they wake up to support you. Ambling towards the kitchen, you tried to scrounge up the desire for anything other than a few mints.

Your pickings are rather slim. Even then everything would take longer than you know you have the energy to stand for. Huffing as you grabbed handful of mints before you make your back to bed. You crawled back into bed, grabbing your laptop in hopes you can find someway to pass the next round of sleepless.

Popping a mint in your mouth and scrolling through the various entertainment options, you happened across a show you know very well. Another time you might have smiled at your luck. Of course it recommends something that he was in. Rolling over to grab your phone, you unlock it to check what time it is over there.

2 am the clock answered. You swallowed the lump in your throat, remembering what he said last time.

“I don’t care what time it is. If you need me, call. I’d do anything for you. “

You glance at the clock once more and you lose your nerve.

“He’s halfway across the world right now and under enough stress. You’ll talk to him again when Friday comes around” you rationalize internally, “That’s more than 3 days away. You’ll be back to your usual by then. You always are.”

You shake your head and push the phone off the bed. Tucking an arm under your head and curling your knees to your chest, placing your laptop on top of them. You settle in with Forensic Files, hoping that Peter Thomas’s voice will eventually get you more sleep.

Sleep doesn’t come. You’ve lost count of how many episodes of Forensic Files that you’ve watched. All of them have blurred together. Once again the sun’s rays slowly painted your room in an array of reds, oranges, and finally yellows. Two more rounds of soft vzzzzt that go unanswered cause you to retreat back under the blankets once more.

For how long you remain there is unknown. All you known is that you’re forced to get up by your throbbing bladder. Then you’re back in your bed, curled up around a pillow and begging for sleep to come. Your body is sore, your mind is all fogged up, and by the time you do feel sleepy, the sun must be high in the sky.

Here's to another day of waking up after the sun has set. Daylight Savings Time is a bitch. There’s no use in checking your phone. You stretched and tried to sum up the strength to move your feet, knowing you need to at least try to make your way to the kitchen. Each step causes a shooting pain in your underused appendages.

Leaning against the counter, you grabbed a package of Cup Ramen from the cabinet. Not the healthiest choice, but the one that will take the shortest amount of time to cook. Adding the water and setting it in the microwave is the easiest part; having the strength to wait the 3 minutes to cook is the hardest.

Anxiety seeps in as you watched the timer go down. Tapping your fingers against your thigh, you tried to pass the time without throwing yourself into an anxiety attack. Finally, the microwave beeps and you let out a breath you hadn’t realized you’d been holding. You opened the microwave and quickly stirred the contents of the cup together.

You make the trip back to the bed that’s been calling your name since you left. Although you’re not hungry, you have to try to eat. You ate earlier right?....Your stomach hadn’t give any indication of hunger. You ate as much as you could stomach before leaving the unfinished meal beside your bed.

Grabbing your laptop, you scrolled through for something, anything to distract you. In a moment of clarity, you remembered that last time he mentioned a nature documentary which he said you should watch. You found it easily and turned it on, curling your body around your laptop. In your bones, the numbness reared it’s ugly head once more.

The animals in documentary didn’t cause you to laugh at their antics like they usually would. You had to pause it. You felt like you were drowning in this void. What once might have been enough to drag you out of the darkness, no longer could do so. You had been doing so well; going to your appointments and working on coping with your trauma only for the empty pit to gobble you up once more.

Screwing your eyes shut as you take in one shaky breath after the other. Whatever strength that was left in your tired limbs, you willed to help get you through. You needed to be fine, he needed you to be fine. Every inch of you shook with hurt and sorrow as sleep waded in and out of your mind. It took forever to succumb.

A gentle chime woke you from your fitful sleep. You laid underneath your mountain of blankets and watched the gentle rise and fall that came with every breath you took. You blinked a few times as you attempted to stretch out your body. The chime had stopped by the time you were finally able to peak your head from where it was tangled in your cocoon.

The noise had emanated from your laptop. You inwardly curses yourself because you only know what that means. You left yourself logged into Skype and you reached a hand over to check who called. However, as soon as you did, the chime started up again, his name flashed on your screen.

A sob threatened to break loose from your lips.  It couldn’t have been Friday already. Skype dates only happened on Friday and Saturdays, that was your routine. You glanced around your room and contemplated slamming your laptop closed. Based on the colors of the sun that painted your bedroom’s walls, it was early, much too early for his call.

Deep down you knew he would keep calling until you responded and as much as it pained you to do so, you had to give into him. You moved the cursor to hover over the accept button. With a deep breath, you clicked accept. You waited for the swoosh that always came before his face filled the screen.

You couldn’t face him like this. He didn’t deserve this. Your stomach was already upset, it didn’t need your anxiety making it worse. Burying your face in your hands, you heard the tell-tale noise that the call connected.

“Darling, there you are,” he exclaimed.

You had no choice but to peek between your fingers to see his smiling face. He looked so happy and full of light. You couldn’t dare to bring him down from his high. He was worthy of so much more, someone who wasn’t empty. Surely he could see that.

“As much as I’d love to talk your lovely hands, I’d rather talk to that face of yours.”

“Hen-“ Your voice cracked from not being used in so long.

“Please,” He begged.

Every inch of your body quaked, the inevitable was here. He would see you, see how broken and lost you were, and wouldn’t be able to take it. The expiration date for your time together was today.

“Please, sweetheart.” He tried again, his voice no louder than a whisper.

You shook your head in silent agreement to his plea. Trembling, your hands pealed away from your face and finally you saw your boyfriend’s face fully. Messy curls were strewn across his forehead and there was an inkling of stubble making an appearance on his face. His eyes were bright and warm as always. You could just barely make out the brown amongst the blue at the top of his left eye.

“There you are,” Henry murmured, his voice dropping an octave.

“Hen-“

“Shhhh... I know it’s not Friday but I wanted to see you. Ariel was worried. I was worried.”

“I’m so sorry-” You started as you felt tears beginning to form in the corners of your eyes.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about, love. I’m happy to see your face. I would ask how you are, but I think I know. Have you been taking your meds?”

“I don’t remember. All I know my stomach is a bit upset,” you whispered as the first hot tears rolled down your cheeks.

“I’d reckon it’s been a few days then,” Henry sighed, ”Do you think could get up and make some green tea? That’s always helped in the past.”

You groaned, flopping backwards onto your bed. A few moments pass by in silence as you weighed your options.

“I can try.”

“That’s all I’m asking for, sweetheart,” admitted the blue eyed man,” How about you bring me with you?”

You nodded slowly. Henry was always good at reading you. It seemed that regardless of the distance between the two of you and the blurriness of the camera, his skill hadn’t waned. He knew you so well and right now you were thankful for that. There was so much you couldn’t say right now, you didn’t have the energy nor the clarity to do so.

Stretching your arms above your head, you winced at the stiffness in them. You had to do this, you had to fight that little voice in your head. You carefully moved yourself to the edge the bed. Taking a much needed deep breath, you forced your aching body to sit up. Gently, after a few moments, you maneuvered yourself to stand on your feet.

You glanced over at your computer screen and saw nothing but pride and encouragement in his blue eyes. It gave you the required push to grab your laptop and make your way towards the kitchen, tired body be damned. Normally, you feel safe and content in the silence with him. The freezing emptiness that had made it’s home amongst your bones and mortal flesh flourished in it.

“How’s filming going?” You croaked.

Henry was quick to fill the crushing silence “Remember that scene I mentioned to you last time…” His hearty timbre warming the outermost parts of your mind. Puttering around the kitchen, you put the kettle on and grabbed your favorite mug while listening. He could be speaking about blue-footed boobies and you would still be rapt.

Sooner than you would of liked, the kettle sung it’s annoying little tune. Carefully, you snatched it off the stove and poured into the waiting mug. You dropped the teabag in and leaned up against the counter. Glancing over at the computer, you saw Henry watching you with a smile on his face.

“Good job, sweetheart,” Henry beamed.

You tried to blink away the tears that remained in your eyes. “I boiled water. Nothing too special about that.”

“You know what I mean.”

Shakily setting the down the mug, you forced yourself to take some deep breaths, but it does nothing to stop the onslaught of tears. They blazed in hot trails down your cheeks.

“My brain doesn’t work, Hen. The fog sets in and it’s like I can’t do the simplest tasks. I can’t even just go through the motions,” You sobbed

“Oh, darling,” his voice barely a whisper and your gaze remained on the floor, arms wrapped around your quaking form.

“Nothing’s working…. I’m so tired of feeling like this. I don’t even feel alive anymore. Just empty and cold all the time.”

Silence fell over the two of you once again; only being pierced by your shuddering breaths as you tried regain control. It took a few moments to calm yourself. You brushed away the remaining tears and finally glance up at him.

“I’m sorry,” You murmured.

“Sweetheart, you don’t need to apologize. I know you’re struggling. I’m worried about you being all alone right now with everything that’s going on,” Henry admitted,” How about you ask Ariel to come stay with you? Just until I finish filming.”

“I…I can do that.”

“I want you to know you don’t have to stick to our schedule. I know you like the consistency it brings, but I don’t mind if you call other times, love. I’d be happy to hear your voice more often.”

Nodding your head, you grabbed your abandoned tea and took a sip. “I love you, Henry.”

“I love you too. We’re in this together, us against the problem.”

Somehow his words seemed to pierce at the remaining chill in your body. He was exactly what you needed, your lighthouse in the storm. No matter how far apart you may be, you’ll always find your way back to his loving embrace.

[peruses]

No Time to Die: the good, the bad, and the ugly

Word vomit thought dump after stewing on it for a few days. Spoilers, obviously.

in no particular order,

The Good

The emotional satisfaction of Nomi shoving racist scientist dude into the poison water when he breathed racist garbage. Have you ever wanted to absolutely beat the crap out of someone for racism that happened? I have. Frequently. Not withstanding racism that has happened to me specifically even in this year, a notable example being not being able to punch N*wt Gingr*ch in the face when I saw him in the law firm lobby the week after he said racist BS in 2016 because capitalism is evil and I needed to keep my job. That extremely specific visceral satisfaction of seeing a racist get what they fully deserve on screen. Like the Spencer dude that Nazi who got punched in the face and lost everything :) It works.

I’m obsessed with Paloma. In a looking respectfully 👀 kind of way at that gorgeous plunging neckline dress. Everything about her was darling, from her wide-eyed (fake) naivete to her earnestness. She felt like a breath of fresh air. I would not have been mad if Bond kissed her because I um, definitely wanted to. Let me live out my fantasy for the only Bond girl I’ve ever wanted to 💋... Vesper will always be my favorite Craig!Bond girl, but it definitely says something about Paloma that with 15 minutes of runtime, she gives Vesper a run for the money.

Canon queer Q! But even more importantly: Q kissing a cat. Ben Whishaw definitely adlibbing that kiss and I want to see every cut of that scene because I want 10 different takes of Ben Whishaw kissing a semi-hairless cat. Also the freaking teapot kit in the plane. So many good Q moments.

I’ve been 🤔 about why Daniel Craig has been SO HAPPY in the pre-release press junket, and I’m ugly laughing at why and it’s because he finally got to kill Bond. He’s free. No wonder. I’m just delighting in his utter delight out of his revulsion for the character. My favorite clip was “I don’t judge the characters I play, I the audience do that.” I’m going to miss Daniel Craig as Bond so much... but even more how angry he makes the incel dudebros UGLY LAUGHS.

Thank you for giving us James Bond in speedo again. 15 years, and Daniel Craig’s still Got It.

The sound editing of Bond’s muffled reaction to the bomb blasts. I thought that was a really cool editing effect they chose to immerse the audience in how Bond was feeling too.

I loved the infinity mirror shots of Bond talking to Blofeld. The shots are absolutely gorgeous, reminiscent of the mirrored glass in Shanghai in Skyfall. 

The Bad

I was so angry when Felix died I walked out of the theatre for a bit. I don’t like using character death as cheap way of character building. Five fucking movies and Felix Leiter deserved better than that.

For how long it was, No Time to Die sure didn’t have enough time to Show Don’t Tell. There was so much telling instead of showing. Bond telling us he loves Madeleine and regretted leaving her. Every single character telling Bond that Madeleine still loves him. That ridiculous exposition of Rami’s character and Bond essentially monologuing at each other for 5 minutes straight I started zoning out and missed what was said to Bond that had him groveling. Honestly I want to know what was the scene that had Daniel lift up Rami for a kiss because I could not tell from the movie.

Oh yeah, I was pretty pissed when I saw they made Madeleine escape the house and run in the woods and do all this bullshit in heeled sandals. Really? Sexism is well and alive in Bond verse (a little more on that later...plus imperialism).

Moneypenny was criminally underused. Also, I’m pretty sure for all the franchise purports strong female characters, for having a number of them in this movie, it didn’t pass the Bechdel test. (again, more on that)

Oh yeah, having Rami cosplay in a fucking kimono on that faux Russo-Japanese island was definitely some cake on the bullshit too.

For me, there are two types of action films. There’s ones where Xander Cage returns from...the place he is returning from (squints) and blows up a satellite falling to earth with an airplane and then freestyle skydives from that exploding airplane. And there is the type where a group of white dudes plus one white woman (cough Avengers 2 cough ) show up to an African nation and wrecks a ton of buildings before proceeding to run away and hide out on a farm and then the only female member of the team up until that point has a monologue about she’s monstrous not because she’s an assassin who’s killed innumerous but because...she can’t have children. Basically what I’m saying is, there is the type that knows it’s not taken seriously and the type that takes itself seriously and then completely missteps. Also the reason Skyfall was fun was because the house blew up and no one was inside. It’s not fun when you’re immersed in “realism” and have to think about all the innocent civilians caught up in the cross fire, many times in non-white foreign countries. Which leads us to,

The Ugly

I thought a little bit about to divide this section from Bad because to be honest, it really is More Bad, but I want to frame it more in the context of, or out of the context of, the rest of the films and greater sociopolitical climate. Overall, as fond as I am of Craig!Bond, the verse is showing some serious wear that Professional Film Reviewers (my new enemy) just don’t seem to care about because to be honest, most of them are also just white men.

This series has a problem of scaling up in terms of stakes appropriately. It’s the Supernatural Problem. Up through Skyfall, the stakes seemed realistic enough, even when the outcome is hyperstylized. Bond had physical setbacks from the way he was shot at the beginning of the film you see him dealing with in the first fact. But in NTTD, you’re telling me, a beautiful young lady wore a plunging dress and heels to a gunfight with men armed to teeth and wasn’t even scratched, and 15 minutes later, a seasoned CIA agent wasn’t going to be wearing a bulletproof vest and died from that? Similarly, Rami’s character aimed 3 shots at Bond from point-blank range and he didn’t die, and you’re expecting me to believe he was going to die from missiles when he had time to, IDK, jump into the water? This from a man, since we’re doing all the call backs, who had been shot off a moving train and fell 200 ft into the ocean and survived? He might as well have fallen onto a rusty nail and died the stakes were so absurd.

I barely mentioned Madeleine yet, because honestly, she was a non-entity in the movie. At best, a plot device as unmemorable as the Bond *cough*bland*cough* villain. I know a lot of 00Q shippers have some animosity towards her, but I really don’t. The sad thing is, I feel bad for her actor. In the end, Madeleine was reduced to a love interest and a mother, and not even a compelling one of either. Lea and Daniel’s chemistry has improved from Spectre, but honestly, the movie fails to convince me of why either of them love each other. Again, all tell and no show. She has so little actual content to her character other than being Some Man’s Plot Point that’s probably one of the biggest tragedies. Mr. White’s Daughter, The White Mask’s victim, Bond’s Final Love. And I don’t know a thing about her or her own motivations.

Only related to this movie, but the way they hauled that little girl around like a prop was really alarming and gross. I’m glad the movie crew shielded her from most of the content of the film, but it also showed in her (lack of) acting. It was so physically uncomfortable for me to watch as she was literally being manhandled from one adult to another. 

The Big Ugly #1: Which brings us to our next point, which is that They’re Trying, but at what point can we stop giving them extra credit for Trying? The truth is, beyond the lip service of the Craig!Bond girls being Strong Female Characters (which I am not blaming Daniel for, this is definitely a point they were coached on as a talking point) many of the Craig-era Bond girls are victims... Even in the Brosnan era of campiness, she was a fellow spy, a savvy villainness who knew how to fight, and if she died, it was in service to her own cause. Again, for the staggering number of non-romantic interest female characters in this film, I again want to point out even when they shared screen time, the movie did not pass the Bechdel test. You know how absurd it seemed when Blofeld concocted a whole web of evil organizations to ruin Bond’s life? It feels equally absurd when the female characters have nothing else to talk about than him, and when the villain full on ignores Nomi even though she’s a 00-agent also there to destroy his compound. And when Q gives Bond the watch and Nomi... the radio map thing. Where’s her cool gadget? Even when they’re trying to prop up female characters, it seems like they missed the up part and they end up as props that the writers can use to brag about the female characters are strong.

The Big Ugly #2: Hey, you know how we also haven’t talked about the technical evil plot of NTTD which is project Heracles, and hey, what the fuck Mallorey? And you know what else? You know how it was absurd when the subplot of Skyfall was, should MI6 have a place in modern Brittain and then the subplot of Spectre was what if MI6 should get merged with MI5. You know how in Skyfall we were like “haha Britain is a waning imperialist power but it’s trying to learn from its past mistakes” minor bit of sympathy and that brought us? Well, why not give us a movie with a white man two movies later with almost zero public accountability in charge of a highly secretive non-elected intelligence agency position sanctioning the R&D of a biological WMD that has genocidal implications that were explicitly stated not once, but twice in the film? And other than Bond chewing him out once, it was basically dropped? Again, how the genocidal implications of Mallorey sanctioning this against all rational reason was just swept under the rug? Lovely to see the writers thinking this through letting that plot point hang, with you know, Britain being such a large contributor of genocidal and imperialist violence throughout the world. Much less his direct report Nomi-007 never getting a chance to go “Sir, are you a racist, or just a fucking dumbass, I need to know”

IIIIIN conclusion. NTTD was a serviceable action film, a respectful send off for Daniel Craig, but it was honestly weighted down by the bloat of Spectre and the hubris of its own writers. There is a lot of work the franchise needs to put in to keep it afloat after this because the problem is not with the actors or the directors. Because the writing desperately needs to be updated.