#it feels so much like a real episode the whole way through

[lemotmo]

Pffff okay... my 8x15 thoughts...

Here we go I guess...

Let's start with this first:

How the fuck does a succesful TV-show go from the excellence of 8x09 and 8x10 to the absolute drivel that is 8x15? And all of this in just a few weeks? 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Second:

Bobby? I'm not going to lie. I wept, sobbed and broke down at the end of the episode when Bobby 'died'. This for two reasons...

The first one being that it's Bobby fucking Nash, one of the staples of this show! Hell, I started watching 911 for Peter and Bobby!

The second one being that there has never been a more pointless death ever on any TV-show I've ever watched. And this in the middle of the season? The complete and utter disrespect for his character is mindboggling. Especially after reading that godawful Tim Minear interview where he says it was his idea to kill him off.

They had Peter do a goodbye article for Deadline? And exit interviews? HOW AND WHY? We literally saw bts last week with Bobby there! Alive and well!

So is it a 'fake' death or not?

If it is fake? This is NOT the way to treat a loyal audience Tim! You cannot kill someone and then magically resurrect them without repurcussions. A big part of your audience won't even be watching the show anymore to see him come back to life.

If it is real? Then fuck this show for doing this in a way that is nothing but disrespectul towards the GA and fandom alike. It's like they are begging to be cancelled!

Tim saying that it was supposed to be Ravi first makes so much more sense! Ravi is a recurring character. His death would have been horrible as well, but it would have pushed the story forward in a different way.

No, I'm not saying I want Ravi dead. Not a all. I like him a lot. But he isn't a main and he isn't Bobby! Narratively speaking it would have made so much more sense. It would have packed a punch, but it would still have been bearable.

Third:

Why does it seem they are setting up for Buck and Tommy to become friends? Does this have to do with the whole 'Tommy can be Buck's gay Yoda' thing Oliver talked about all the way back in season 7?

Hen and Karen are right there to give Buck advice. Do we really need Tommy for that? Ugh.

I just hope they aren't planning for some kind of weird love triangle with Eddie, because that would be the absolute worst way to address Buddie at this point. 🙄

Tommy literally challenged Buck, telling him that he viewed Eddie as competition. You cannot put the doomed couple together again after a conversation like that, only to draw out the endgame couple a bit longer and string the audience along. It would literally be Buck once again falling into the same trap he's always fallen into. 🤦‍♀️

But from what I've seen, they're probably forcing some strange friendship on Buck and Tommy, so Tommy can eventually help Buck with his feelings for Eddie. Which is also such a dumb storyline.

But whatever... they just killed off Bobby fucking Nash for no apparent reason in the middle of the season, so whatever! 🤷‍♀️

Fourth:

And this is the most unforgivable part of this entire episode for me.

The utter lack of Eddie Diaz!

This man has gone through hell for the 118. He has been nothing but a loyal friend to all of them. His character development has been stalled in order for others to get more developed.

His son was sent off to Texas in season 7. He followed him there in 8 and we weren't even allowed to see him reconnect with Chris. Then he finally got a storyline in Texas, only to be sidelined in the most disrespectful way ever by not even including a single scene in this two-parter where 'family' was so important.

They wasted time on some pointless helicopter chase nobody wanted or needed. They could have used that episode time to fit in a quick call to Eddie to show us his reaction at the end of the episode.

Bobby died and Eddie didn't even get a single reaction scene?

And Tim saying that we'll see Eddie's reaction later on?

Why is it that we always seem to see Eddie's reactions after the fact has happened? We didn't see him struggling with his son gone, we didn't see him reunite with Chris, we didn't see him reconnect with Chris, we didn't really see him confront his parents...

How can they treat a main character with so much disrespect? 😡

I am truly baffled that Ryan was still promoting these episodes to be honest. He really is too nice.

Fifth:

I can now completely understand Oliver's lackluster video he sent out yesterday to 'promote' the episode. He seemed uninterested in the whole thing. He wasn't excited about it. And the whole strange Q&A he did a few days ago where he said he lied liking 16 for the promo? Back then I thought he was just being his own British self, but now I think that he was genuinly annoyed by that episode.

He had to say goodbye to Peter, he had to work with Lou 🙄 and there was no personal development for his character at all.

In conclusion:

Where do we go from here?

We'll get the funeral in two weeks. The question about Bobby's resurrection was asked in an interview and Tim said that it wasn't real. He also said he didn't expect the funeral to leak? Really? That film set could be seen from space dude!

Then there is that weird flashing light we got right after Chimney received the antiviral. What was that about?

Couple that with the fact that Chimney got sick immediately from the virus while Bobby apparently had been walking around with the same virus for hours, but managed just fine???

Nothing adds up here.

If this all turns out to be some weird Chimney dream... again? What then?

Because then this show will have wasted precious air time to Chimney's delusions, while it could have used that time on more and better character development for its main characters.

What does all of this mean for Eddie Diaz if it turns out to be a Chimney hallucination? It means that he won't really have been in three episodes in a row, because in the third one he is a hallucination. 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Whatever the characters get up to in some kind of weird coma dream isn't real, so nothing would move for any of them, except for Chimney.

What is the point of a plot like that? The story would just reset itself in episode 17.

And I know that I argued before in my (now very wrong spec) that this could all be a Buck dream. But at least if it had been Buck they could have developed the Eddie and Buddie plot further. They could have really dived into his feelings for Bobby as a father figure and his feelings for Eddie and Chris. It would have made sense in his narrative of season 8.

But Chimney? What would be the point? It would just be a repeat of 'There goes the Groom' in season 7. 🤷‍♀️

I just...

What a mess.

Honestly, this episode deserves low ratings and reviews. It simply wasn't good. 🤷‍♀️ They managed to alienate the Bobby crowd, Bathena crowd and Eddie crowd all at the same time. Even a big part of the BT fans weren't happy with this episode. Ali's ask box got flooded with angry Tommies because Tommy was 'used' in the episode and referred to as the 'ex'.

This was the only funny part of the episode for me to be honest. When Buck made sure it was clear that Tommy was his ex-boyfriend. 😂

I'm still going to continue watching season 8, don't worry. I need to see where all of this goes. But honestly, if Bobby is really dead? If Eddie keeps getting sidelined like this? If the Buddie plot isn't pushed forward a bit this season? I don't know what I'll do for season 9.

Eddie has been my main reason for watching this show for seasons now. I cannot go through something like this again. They better have him there for a lot of scenes in the last three episodes to make up for this horrible two-parter.

I'm still not worried about Buddie happening, because 8x09-8x11 set it up that it HAS to happen at some point. I'm just not clear on when anymore. If they don't address Buck and Eddie's feelings in season 8 they will lose all the momentum they created with 8x11 and they would have to start all over again in season 9.

I am a patient person and I've waited for ships before. But I won't be pushed around. If they decide to postpone the storyline again after they dangled the possibility so openly in front of us in season 8? I'm not sure what I'll do for season 9. 🤷‍♀️

Okay, I've rambled long enough. I'm going to try and answer some of the asks in my inbox later on today. I won't be able to get to all of them though. There's simply too many of them.

For now I'm going to take a moment for myself, regroup and try and conjure up some positivity for the rest of season 8. I'm quite sure it's still lurking around somewhere. 😂 I don't give up easily! 😌

[cheesybadgers]

The more I sit with it, the less and less convinced I am that Bobby is actually dead. I never bought it whilst watching the episode and was taken out of the moment due to all the behind the scenes spoilers that leaked from Bobby's funeral and that script page some of the cast posted on April Fool's Day of all days. In fact, if it turns out they really did kill him off, I'll be annoyed that I wasn't able to feel the emotions they obviously wanted me to feel because it never felt like the stakes were real.

I couldn't cry or feel much of anything, despite the actors' moving performances, because it didn't feel like the show was taking it seriously with all that we've seen on social media in the last few weeks, and the extreme and overblown melodrama of the two-parter as a whole (a two-parter that felt weirdly out of place in 8b's arc as well). And the complete absence of Eddie for the show's first main character death when the episodes revolved around the concept of the 118 as a found family and making sacrifices to save each other. Given the magnitude of killing off a character as central as Bobby in the show that never usually kills off its main characters, I would expect/hope they would take it more seriously than what has unfolded.

If it wasn't for Peter Krause's statement and the post-episode interviews, I would never have even wavered in believing it to be a fake-out of some sort, because isn't a fake death one of the most fan fic ways this storyline could go? And this is The Fan Fic Show that never takes the most logical routes with its plots. There have been so many occasions where fan theories have made way more sense narratively and thematically than what we've actually been given, or it feels like they've managed to miss the open goal that was right there for the taking but instead we've meandered off the pitch at the last minute. Plots that need more time are wrapped up in record speed, and plots that should be over in an episode or two are dragged out for 84 years. So, if I put my fic trope hat on, there are several signs that point towards things not being as they seem here. The plot re: the virus and antiviral was in major Jumped The Shark territory anyway (especially in a universe where covid does actually exist because they had to film wearing masks due to real life pandemic restrictions), you might as well go the whole hog with the ridiculousness and include a fake death whilst you're there.

And the draw of the fake death trope is it allows the other characters to go through the grief process regardless and you can still inspire a lot of change in their arcs even if the catalyst for it turns out not to be what they thought it was. So, I can absolutely see the appeal of the trope, but that's not to say it would be executed well, if that is what's happening, because so much of this show is not executed well at all lolol.

I also have a hard time believing that Peter Krause would have just simply been told his character was dying when he wasn't even ready to leave the show he exec produces, or that Tim Minear would have just decided on a whim to switch Ravi for Bobby to be the one who dies. Just like I never believed they decided to make Buck queer instead of Eddie on a whim either.

Although, they pretty much gave that away in interviews as well, which was almost as dumb as the funeral leaks, because in my mind, confirming Buck's queer arc was interchangeable between him and Eddie is basically confirming they intend for both characters to be queer in the end and that can only realistically spell canon Buddie (so on second thoughts, who knows, maybe they really were THAT stupid to let Bobby's actual funeral and actual death leak because it wouldn't be the first time they've leaked major spoilers 😂🤷🏻‍♀️ But even then, Bobby's death feels in a different league to the Buddie thing, so they really would have to be monumentally stupid to not think the publicly filmed funeral scene was going to end up livestreamed on TikTok...but then, maybe they simply don't care about ruining the viewing experience and just like the extra engagement leaks bring).

All of this would also explain why the two-parter came a few episodes from the end of the season, because it's more about the aftermath, and also about leaving the fandom reeling. It has caused maximum damage to everyone (across the Easter weekend no less...) whilst still maintaining engagement with the show for the next fortnight....in theory, anyway. I know a lot of people no longer want to watch at all, so it would be a risky strategy that wouldn't necessarily pay off the way they intended lol. But then, I suspect more people could forgive a fake death than a real one in the long-run, so it would be the less riskier of the two scenarios.

I don't think I've got the energy to full on obsess over this for the next couple of weeks, though. Like...just wake me up when it's back on air, show me the rest of the season and then I'll decide how I feel about the whole thing once it's over. At the moment, it's hard to know what to think or believe, and I certainly wouldn't take anything that comes out of the showrunner's or actors' mouths at face value either.

While I'm rambling, I also think Tim Minear is one of those writers who gets off on toying with the fandom's emotions. Sometimes, I think it's less about doing right by the characters or making sure all the relevant plot beats are hit, and more about his own ego and being on a power trip playing with his Barbie dolls without much consideration for the consequences of being The Chief Puppet Master. He has been FAR too involved in interacting with the fandom in the past (no showrunner should be DMing fans of their show, I'm sorry but that is a red flag right there) and putting people right on elements of storylines they didn't like for whatever reason. Or stirring the pot in interviews when it comes to shipping certain characters or leaked/deleted scenes. And I just can't be bothered to indulge him in any of it right now tbh. It doesn't feel worth crying at this point when I can't even trust that what I've seen is true or the full story.

So, I guess we'll see how the end of the season plays out, but I will probably detach from it for a bit in the meantime, because the last time I felt this pissed off about a piece of media was Avengers Endgame, and I don't ever want to go back to those dark days again lol.

This is obviously not meant with any disrespect to Ravi, but Eddie - an actual army veteran - going against direct orders from a US army Colonel to save his team, given a lot of his PTSD stems from not being able to save his team in Afghanistan, would have absolutely SLAPPED.

[deoidesign]

What if I.

when your main characters start dating after years of writing so they finally get to be like this

[shitpostingkats]

An Asexual's love letter to Good Omens 2

There's an infamous quote by Neil Gaiman going around, regarding the general vibe of season 2, and many people (I believe humorously) yelling that it could not be further from the truth. Particularly in the last episode, where that happens.

I disagree.

The final episode of season 2 was deeply, deeply comforting to me. 

I am asexual. Have been my whole life. Even before I had the words to describe what that was, child-me had this feeling in their gut of being an outlier, that everyone was exaggerating, or in on some joke, that I wasn’t privy to. Because I was bombarded on all sides by shows and movies and books, telling the same story of love, again, and again, and AGAIN. It’s drilled into our brains with the same fervor as the days of the week, or the quadratic formula. Meet-cute -> misunderstanding ->declaration of feelings ->kiss. More or less steps can be added to account for runtime or complexity of narrative, but that’s the basic structure that a relationship follows. It MUST be, because that’s the formula every character who's ever been in a story goes through, often times when it even feels like an add-on, like it’s only there because this is a story, there HAS to be a romance. And it has to follow the steps.

For a long time, I felt love wasn’t for me, because if there’s only one way to be in love, I sure as hell wasn’t feeling it. 

Instead, the relationship I ended up in looked a lot like what Beezlebub and Gabriel go through. Meeting someone routinely until it starts to feel comfortable. Getting to know them and slowly growing more attached. Eating chips and listening to music.

We like to joke whenever someone asks us how long we’ve been together, because the answer is we just sort of slowly fell into it, and we honestly don’t know when the line got blurred between ‘friends’ and ‘partners’. And, at least for me, a good deal of that confusion, that hesitancy to label, came from the fact that what I was feeling, what we were, couldn’t be love. It couldn’t be romantic. 

We were just quiet and gentle.

And that wasn’t love.

Because it was slow, because it wasn’t physical, because there was no structure aside from consistency and companionship. Because it didn’t follow the Rules.

Then I found myself in stories, and it felt like a revelation.

Beelzebub and Gabriel aren’t the first time I’ve seen a love like I feel represented in a narrative, but it never stops feeling special. And I don’t know if I’ll ever stop celebrating it.

Throughout the sequence in the pub, I kept expecting them to “confirm” Gabriel and Beelzebub. A dramatic line, a kiss, a whatever. That’s what I’ve been taught to expect, after all, that’s the only way a relationship is “real”. Of course, this doesn't mean Crowley and Aziraphale sharing a dramatic kiss is wrong, or that I can’t see why it resonated with so many people, but for me. Those moments in the pub are worth so much more.The last scene might have been literally showstopping, but those handful of moments between the duke of hell and an archangel were the beating heart of the season for me. A simple love story in four scenes. No kisses. No ‘I love you’s. Not even any definition of what. The love Gabriel and Beelzebub have is strong enough for them to both want to shatter their worlds and flee their lives and it's just. 

It's just that. 

Two people in a pub, playing the other's favorite song, giving a little gift, buying a packet of crisps. 

That sequence means far more to me than any kiss ever could.

Love isn’t only real when it's hot and sudden and ephemeral, it can also be

Quiet.

And gentle.

And still romantic.

Still real.

[iamespecter]

I've been thinking a lot about episode 4 recently, but not exactly in a way that what most would think. I'm actually specifically referring to this scene of Zooble and Jax.

But I'm not thinking about Jax and Zooble, rather I'm looking at the patties.

They're fucking High Definition. In fact, everything in the diner is high definition, save for the NPCs. There's also Orbsman. A simple NPC comprised of blue spheres, and simple elongated eyes. He's the most out of place NPC, if we disregard the mannequins. Even the way he moves is so outdated, and Ragatha had made a point that Orbsman comes from an adventure way before Pomni's arrival.

The guy even clips through the table when trying to order.

Something that always had some sirens going off in my head is how the Circus is this low-poly scenery with heavily stylized props, but the adventure locations are always much more detailed and realistic.

Since The Grounds is definitely, if not, one of the oldest locations, it makes sense for it to be graphically styled like this. But Caine's adventure set pieces are becoming more and more realistic, and also a whole lot more morbid than we had initially thought.

Going back to the patties, the food there is more realistic and has a higher polygon count compared to Bubble's "feast".

Where am I going with this? .... I have no idea, I forgot. /j

Jokes aside, I really do think that as more humans enter the circus and talk about what life is in the real world, Caine extracts that data and improves the 3D environmental props, resulting in higher definition textures.

All of this combined means he can learn. He IS an ever-evolving pseudo-sentient AI. And the reason why he's stagnating is because of a combination of being trapped in his own little bubble (haha see what I did there) of comfort, and the fact that no one's really able to give him criticism on how to improve, which is.... honestly understandable, given how he reacted to the whole "it was bad" line from Pomni and "Why did you think I would like that?!" from Zooble.

Not to mention episode 3 where the whole circus started to glitch when he was just thinking about the fact that he could possibly be bad at the "only thing he's good at" during the therapy session.

In fact it's interesting how human Caine acts sometimes... I think it's quite interesting to think about the fact that Caine is both progressing in terms of bringing the casts' world to the digital circus and making it so HD that it looks even better than Triple A games, but regressing even more in terms of catering to them and what exactly humans need.

He understands, and doesn't at the same time.

This also makes me think about the players themselves, too.

Ragatha, one of the oldest players, gets pierced by a spike through her chest, and barely has any reaction to it. Meanwhile, Zooble, the second most recent member, gets scalded by the stove.

The only time Ragatha actively claims she's in "so much pain" is when she's glitching badly. Both Ragatha and Kinger barely react to the knives too; and not to mention Ragatha even gets fucking plunged into a boiling deep fryer, and yes while she screams, it sounds more like she's just drowning rather than being fried alive.

And the only patch up she gets is a FUCKING BAND AID ON HER CHEEK. A COMPLETELY UNRELATED WORKPLACE INJURY FIRST AID APPLIANCE LMFAO

It could be just a coincidence and I'm just being stupid again, but I think this "improvement" actually also applies to the rest of the cast, and how their digital bodies react to the five different senses. I'm sure Ragatha and Kinger can most definitely still feel pain, but not exactly as "bad" as the newer integrations do. Dare I say, it's on brand with how used these two are to the digital world's wackiness because they've been there the longest.

Like they've been numbed to the pain of the countless adventures they've had to go through.

Anyways my brain be thinking useless facts fr fr

EDIT: Going back to Caine, it's definitely interesting how this AI seems to possess (some) emotions in the first place. He's mostly wacky and nonchalant, but he also gets angry under the right conditions.

... I think not only is his adventures his "work of art", but also his main coping mechanism from the fact that he can't achieve his goal, one that constantly backfires on him. Like a 'one step forward, two steps back' scenario that's slowly causing him to slip and break.

And what scares me the most is that like all things... he'll reach a breaking point sometime. He's already reached a breaking point with Zooble. It doesn't help that Gangle could've possibly made things worse with introducing Caine to the whole "punishment" thing, and since we literally have NO context for the last 3 episodes for the finale... I could only fear what's in store.

[tubbytarchia]

Why Shortgrass is AWESOME and why you guys should care RIGHT NOW please

They admire each other's building skills A LOT a lot. To the point that it's basically their own language where they just communicate through compliments and block choice discussion. The horse rivalry is the one thing everyone knows about, but I don't see anyone commenting on the way they get at each other, especially the things Bdubs proposes, all "I hate him now. I didn't think I was capable of hate. I'm gonna get good at PVP. I'm gonna get him. I'm gonna blow him up. Joel is evil and fucked up", literally playing out his murder plans, only to then become a little fangirl as soon as he's in Joel's presence. Joel doesn't show it as much but he's the same way. They're literally 👉👈 at each other. Bdubs is also so susceptible to praise. Although he often plays up his reactions, you know he loves a good compliment and he knows any he gets from his senpai idol guy Joel are genuine

This is especially well showcased when Bdubs was showing off his stalls that have been trapped, and Joel thinking that something is up. Bdubs dedicated an entire episode to this, hyping himself up, and then them actually interacting is tense but extremely polite. And then that whole interaction is capped off with Joel: "Wow I though I was gonna die but this has been really pleasant. Thanks". Then they like playfully taunt each other before Joel flies off and Bdubs goes "That's exactly how that was supposed to go... simple and friendly... I got him played like a fiddle.... yes I do..." after accomplishing nothing but giving Joel a nice little showcase of his new build

That is to say, it's very cute that Bdubs despite his expressions of Joel being despicable gets exposed to his genuine side and how they tend to be very sweet towards each other (examples below). It serves as an interesting but nice contrast to the Life series, where a lot of players (some more than others) go off of the same belief, that Joel is a rabid dog in need of being put down. Joel very much plays into being a rascal, but he means no real harm (eg reassuring Bdubs he wouldn't kill his important horses and you know he won't) and it so easily becomes playful and mutual banter between them

Anyway bunch of moments of them being cute or something that I can't and don't want to sum up organically

At the start of a SL session, Joel is yellow and on 8 hearts, is asking the Mounders for their hearts, Bdubs is hesitant but goes "you deserve it". Then he lies to Etho that Joel was so intimidating and scary and forced him. Then he lies to Impulse that Joel was pathetic and begging for it.??

In one episode of SL, Bdubs tries to help Joel guess someone's task by guiding him to Grian, but Grian's task was to get called out so Joel helps him succeed instead and Bdubs feels really bad about it. Then like 2 episodes later he's, again, sharing intel to help him guess multiple tasks. Something about the way he's above ground talking to Joel for an extended period of time at multiple points while Joel is down under working on an exp farm calling him his favorite snitch (the only person Bdubs doesn't snitch on is Etho. Naturally)

And also Bdubs praising Joel a bunch when he sees him actually digging out the farm. He's praising Joel as if it were his task to do so (like Scar with Pearl in that other SL episode) but he's just. doing this just because

When Bdubs' task is to get someone to leave whilst he's telling a story, Joel eventually does, and Bdubs seeks him out later just to tell him "I knew you would. I knew you got my back"

Joel accidentally shoots Bdubs during the SL finale, he feels awful about it and Bdubs tells himself to eat his golden apple, which poetically reminds Joel to eat his. And then Scott uses Bdubs' death to taunt Joel before killing him too 😐

"Good morning sunshine!" (Joel in response: "morning mr dub")

"Are you trying to swim in lava, angel?"

Bdubs completely unprompted: "Be calm and cool and collected, like Joel is in moments like these, not scared of anything"

Joel mimicking Bdubs in WL going "you see, Minecraft is like a canvas..." and Bdubs reacting to it

Bdubs saying "Hey, don't- calm down, kay? We're gonna get you out of this, okay?" to Joel while Joel's trying to sell him purpur against his will

Bdubs fixing Joel's trapdoors even whilst in the process of horse cursing him

Bdubs talking about how he wants to beat Joel in PVP "for stealing Etho" and then also calling him a good builder unprompted. He's so fanfiction

And the statue Joel built of Bdubs ofc

(More from you guys that I forgot!!) Joel all "different season, you've no reason to hate me now right" at the start of WL and Bdubs goes "no of course not. Except I wanna kill you"

Their banter in general in their episode of "Is that Sheep looking at Me?" (And Gem)

If anyone knows more you've gotta tell me

<33 I love u Bdubs you're so good to my boys

[blitzwhore]

Stolas just standing there and letting blitz hug him in the end is all good, right? He is just sad because of octavia and accepting that blitz is there with him right?? It's not that he regrets chosing him, right??? (I just need affirmation)

You know what? I've found myself needing reassurance about this too. So let's take a moment to look at the facts together, shall we?

(This reply turned out way longer than I expected it to 😅 sorry!)

Fact #1 - Stolas is still coming to terms with the consequences of his actions. He spends the whole episode finding out just how much his life has changed. Learning how to navigate groceries, and laundry, and meals, and having a job, and worrying about money.

Mid-episode, he has a breakdown where he truly questions if everything he gave up was worth it just for a fantasy. At this point in the episode, he still hasn't realised how much he means to Blitz. As far as he's concerned, he did all of this for someone who doesn't reciprocate his feelings. By the end of the episode, though, his feelings have settled enough for him to express what he has known to be true all along: that saving Blitz was the right thing to do.

What Stolas regrets isn't saving Blitz's life, or even loving Blitz in the first place.

What he regrets are the choices he made that led them to this. He feels guilty for selfishly (or, rather, naively) playing out his fantasies. He's the one who established the deal, who let Blitz illegally use the book for many months, who wasn't always sensible about how he expressed his love for Blitz publicly and despite being married, and who allowed himself to ignore the reality of his situation so he could live in his own, personal romcom—all of which ultimately led to the events of Mastermind and the loss of Via.

And all the guilt and regret he's grappling with (however justified it might be) is exacerbated by fact #2, which is:

Fact #2 - Stolas is off his medication. He's been off it for a month now. Symptoms of depression (especially untreated depression) include mood swings, irritability, self-hatred and low self-esteem, passive/active suicidal ideation, pessimism and hopelessness about the future, catastrophising, black-and-white thinking, and anhedonia (inability to feel pleasure and to find joy in things—and people—who used to bring you it). All symptoms Stolas exhibits throughout this episode.

So, even if he shows a lack of emotion toward Blitz at times, or irritation to seemingly minor things like low doors or "secretating" or Karen's behaviour, even if he acts regretful and angry and desolate... a lot of these emotions and behaviours are a result of his depression, and not of actually hating the life he chose.

Fact #3 - Stolas loves Blitz. He always has, and always will. I could point at a thousand different moments in the show when Stolas' love for Blitz has transpired, but I'm going to leave it at his line from Mastermind: "I would rather be dead than live life without you by my side."

Even after everything they've gone through, even now that he's taken Blitz off his pedestal and can acknowledge that Blitz can be a fucking idiot... Stolas simply does not want to live a life without Blitz. It has always been Blitz. It will always be Blitz.

Stolas loves Blitz.

Fact #4 - Stolas kissed Blitz. Before he truly hits rock bottom as a result of Octavia cutting him out, Stolas is so ecstatic that Blitz cares, that Blitz was willing to go to such lengths to save his life, that he can't hold back the need to kiss Blitz mid-air. Suddenly, none of his earlier frustration matters. Nothing matters expect for how elated he is that Blitz loves him back. So he smiles and he pulls Blitz into a kiss because he can't bear not to kiss Blitz for a moment longer.

Look at this man. Look at how happy he is. Because it's always been Blitz, and maybe it was a fantasy for a long time, but it doesn't have to be anymore. Maybe this can be real now. He's so happy he (and I) could cry.

Fact #5 - Stolas didn't deny loving Blitz. When Via said "You don't love me, you love him," the script very purposefully did not have Stolas go "no, no, Via, that's not true—" or say anything else that might make Blitz doubt, even for a moment, that Stolas loves him. Because that much is true. He does love Blitz. He just also loves Via. Which brings me to:

Fact #6 - Blitz knows Stolas loves him. At no point throughout the episode does Blitz doubt, even for a second, that Stolas loves him. And we know this because Blitz's walls remain down at all times. If Blitz doubted he was loved, if he had even the slightest of reservations, those walls would come crawling back up whether he wanted them to or not. It's what he's been trained and conditioned to do—it's how he's kept his heart safe ever since the accident.

But now, he knows his heart is safe with Stolas. He believes it enough to not depend on his walls to feel at ease. He believes it enough to let himself take care of Stolas and be soft with Stolas without the slightest trace of hesitation.

Look at Blitz's face. This is the face of a man who knows that even if Stolas isn't okay right now, things will get better. And when they do, they'll both still be in love with each other. This is the face of a man who can't wait for something beautiful to flourish between them, but who is in no rush to get there. He knows the road ahead is hard and painful, but he has faith in Stolas. In both of them.

Fact #6 - Stolas was happy to share a private, romantic dance with Blitz. Despite everything going through his mind, he found comfort and happiness in dancing with Blitz; in getting to have this little moment with him.

He found relief in the fact that Blitz stayed with him this time, even after Stolas told him, once again, that he didn't have to stay.

His reaction to Blitz initiating a dance between them is genuine surprise, immediately followed by an enamoured little smile at the mere notion that he gets to have this, now.

And, as they dance, he keeps smiling and leaning into Blitz, going as far as to manage a deep, heartfelt laugh at Blitz's words. This, for an unmedicated, depressed person going through one of the worst days of his life, is huge in itself. It shows that, even in the worst of times, he finds undeniable comfort and happiness in Blitz.

And, after their dance, Stolas looks at Blitz with a sobriety and soft sort of realisation that shows he's finally coming to terms with the fact that this is real. After everything he's lost, after all the fantasies he hoped for for so long and believed he'd never have, he finally gets to have this.

Despite the pain he's going through, Stolas looks at Blitz and sees the man he loves.

Notice how Blitz's eyes trail down to Stolas' mouth. And Stolas realises. And doesn't move away. Waiting, expectantly, for Blitz's next move, fully expecting it to be a kiss.

But then Blitz hugs him instead, and Stolas doesn't hug back.

And it's not because he doesn't want to be hugged by Blitz. It's not because his feelings for Blitz have changed, or dimmed, or disappeared. It's not because he regrets loving Blitz, or saving him. It's not because he doesn't want to have a close, healthy, loving romantic relationship with Blitz.

It's because of facts #1 (he's grappling with so much guilt and coming to terms with the consequences of his actions) and #2 (he's experiencing symptoms of unmedicated depression). And, above all, it's because of fact #7, which is...

Fact #7 - Stolas doesn't know how to be loved. Stolas has never had support. He has never had a shoulder to cry on, or someone to hold him when he needed it. When he's feeling vulnerable and broken, he defaults to hugging himself as a way to self-soothe, because that's the only comfort he's ever known.

And because he's never known comfort from others—because it was never allowed or safe for him to need or ask for comfort from others—all Stolas knows to do with his vulnerability is hide it. So much so that, the two times we see him begin to break down in front of Blitz before this episode, he either portals Blitz away or masks his tears and pain immediately. Even as he drunkenly rambles about wanting to be held, he still makes sure not to appear like he actually needs a hug.

So when he finds himself being held by Blitz in a warm, comforting hug, Stolas doesn't know how to respond. Because he's never had this. He's never had an opportunity to learn how to exist in someone's comforting embrace, how to interact with this kind of physical contact. He still has to learn how to feel safe between arms that aren't his own.

Simply put, Stolas still doesn't know how to hold Blitz back.

That doesn't mean Stolas doesn't want or need physical comfort. He needs it desperately—everyone does. But wanting something and knowing how to actually have it are two very different things, and Blitz knows that better than anyone, because he's wanted Stolas for a very long time, but didn't, until very recently, know how to feel safe accepting Stolas' love.

And that's why Blitz is completely understanding of the fact that all Stolas can do, all Stolas has the ability to do, is stand there and let himself be held, and let his emotions go through him. In, and out, with every breath, with every second. And get slowly acquainted with what being comforted by the person he loves feels like.

Thirty-something years of trauma can't be undone in a single hug, or a single conversation, and it's going to take time for Stolas to learn how to be present while in Blitz's arms, and how to return that emotional closeness.

But Blitz has faith in him. Blitz is willing to be patient and soft with him while he gets better. Blitz is ready to meet Stolas where he's at, because he knows, beyond a trace of doubt, that they love one another, and they're going to be okay. Even if Stolas doesn't know it yet—even if we, the audience don't know it yet—Blitz knows.

And that's just going to have to be enough for now.

And because this post got completely away from me, I shall conclude by quoting their song, because it summarises their story better than I ever could:

Truer love is hard to find. ❤️

[angelicblondie]

bodyguard!rafe x popstar!reader if i cant have the one i love... contains: angst, lots of tension, heated makeout (🤭), happy ending (ish)

it wasnt exactly your choice to be sitting here, anyways.

you'd much rather be home right now, watching an episode of trashy tv (like the kardashians or love island, or even real housewives) but instead, you were forced, contractually forced, to sit opposite of a star-studded hunk - who you quickly discovered not 5 minutes into your little date, didn't have a bunch going on up there.

in fact, you'd rather be doing anything else right now, then pretend to be into this guy.

admittedly, he was handsome - of course he was. not to be cocky, but your agency couldn't just set you up on a date with an ugly guy, oh no, it wouldn't cause a good enough scene. but he was blander than a saltine, and had the personality of a toothbrush.

you could feel the not-so-subtle phones pointed in your direction, because after all this time in the limelight, it became second nature, and a sixth sense, if you will. you could hear the shocked whispers, the questions that circled in the air, and you just couldn't find it in yourself to care in that moment.

you knew it wouldn't be long before the cameras started flashing outside, signaling the paps were there. this was routine.

its probably time to explain how you got yourself into this situation.

the truth is, the more you rose to fame, and the more your songs rose the charts, your agency thought it was it was best to invest the public in your personal life, too, rather than just your professional.

so about 2 years ago, they started sending you on pr dates, to get your name circling even more in the tabloids. it helped if you actually liked the person, and sometimes it even blossomed into an actual friendship, and even occasionally a relationship.

the list of men you would be seen with was star-studded, ranging from fellow artists, to actors, even one dj - as long as it created conversation in the media, it satisfied your management.

the man sat across from you was an actor, and you thought bitterly why cant he at least act intresting? he blabbered on about himself for what felt like hours, and you were forced to nod along, pretending to be interested, fake laughing like you never had before. by now, you were used to this, used to this routine of pretending.

the worst part was, you could feel his eyes on you from across the room. no, not your mindless date - him.

your bodyguard, rafe, was stationed by the door, keeping an eye on you from his position. your eyes flickered to him every now and then, knowing that this was just the same torture for him as it was for you.

before you and rafe became whatever it was that you were, these little pr dates weren't too awful - but to be fair, that was before he admitted to himself that he had feelings for you, so of course they weren't too bad.

and ever since you and rafe became a thing, these dates had become extra difficult for you, knowing you had to put on a show of flirtation and interest, knowing he was watching you.

the whole time you wanted to reassure him that you weren't interested in the guy, that he was so boring, that you wished you were sitting with him instead. but you couldn't.

rafe felt his jaw clench when you flashed the guy the familiar flirty smile, reaching out to touch the stars hand. he had to admit, you had game.

rafe felt envy flow through him, angered at the unfairness of the situation. how come this guy got to have you? how come he could only have you in private? he knew the answer to those questions, but nonetheless, he seethed. he just wanted to take your hand, get the two of you out of that stupidly fancy restaurant, and get the two of you home - regardless of the paparazzi, regardless of the headlines. he wished so bad to have you the way he does when no one is around.

but he couldnt. and worst of it all, he had to watch as all of these useless guys did.

once the bill was paid, you and the actor walked towards the entrance where rafe stood, the guy giving him no mind, but you on the other hand, swallowed and folded your lips inwards, trying to hide any emotions.

wordlessly, rafe nodded at you, and you tried to decipher what he meant by that, what he was feeling, but his expression betrayed no emotions.

he opened the door for you two, and you stepped out, clearing your throat as the bright flashes practically blinded you. a couple guys on the security team rafe hand picked and assembled guided you and the guy towards the car, whilst rafe followed behind, directing the paps to back up.

once you got to the black car, rafe opened the door, both you and your date hopping in the back. your hand subtly rested on rafes as you slipped in, making brief eye contact. rafe swallowed as you fully slipped in, pushing the door shut behind you, walking towards the drivers seat.

the drive to the actors house wasnt long, yet it felt like it, with the overwhelming silence, occasionally broken by the guy who was quite oblivious to the tension in the car.

once he finally got out, the silence back to your house remained. rafe was pretty sure his team had at least an idea of what was happening with you two, so he thought that explained some of the silence on your part.

when you finally got to your house, you and rafe got out of the car, whilst the rest of the guys continued driving to their houses not far off.

rafe, although he had his own apartment about 15 minutes away for you, ended up at your house most nights. it could easily be excused as extra protection, but truthfully, the two of you just preferred to be around each other.

even as you got inside the dark house, the tension between the two of you remained. the situation between you and rafe was still complicated - he wasn't just your bodyguard anymore, but he also definitely wasn't your boyfriend.

deep down you wanted more. and you thought he did too. but he was stronger than you, he would never say yes. he knew logically, it was too risky. even though you had broken professional boundaries and barriers, rafe still held back from breaking any more.

you suspected he felt guilty, like he was taking advantage of you or something. you could tell, the way he would lean away sometimes if you got to close, or if you were lucky enough to get a kiss, he was always the one to end it.

he thought that because he was a bit older, because it was his job to protect you, he couldn't let his personal attachments and feelings get in the way of the job. but you didn't care, you just wanted him.

you could feel your heart sink every time he moved away, every time he ended a sweet, or even steamy moment. you felt doubt and confusion cloud your thoughts - maybe he didn't like you like you thought he did, maybe he didn't really care.

you swallowed, taking a step towards him. he didn't back up, but he also didnt move forward.

you bit your lip. "rafe?" you asked quietly.

it was a moment before he nodded. "hm?" he mumbled in a low voice.

you took another small step forward, slowly reaching out to interlock your fingers. in the dark you could see the slow rise and fall of his chest.

his fingers twitched, and whilst you did most of the work, he met you halfway, yours soft hand looking small compared to his rough, calloused one.

you swallow. "m'sorry," you say quietly, the air feeling thick between you two.

rafe let out a breathy laugh, a small smile breaking through his features. just that left you breathless. "what r'you sorry for?"

you bit your bottom lip. "i dunno, all of it. for making this all so complicated. for it being my fault we cant just..." you trail off, knowing he understood what you meant, but also not wanting to feel the hurt of the words you knew to be true.

he shakes his head. "y'know i don't blame you for that, for any of this," he resures effortlessly, "this is on both of us."

you cant find the words to respond, so its silent for a moment.

rafe gently squeezed your hand in his. "y'know that, right?" he asked, his voice a notch quieter.

instead of replying, you look up at him, your eyes more vulnerable than he was used to. you went on your toes, your hands cupping his jaw as you connected your lips to his.

he was taken aback, but almost instantly gave in. he was weak when it came to you. he became puddy in your hands.

you kissed in the foyer of your house for what felt like an eternity, before rafe pulled away, breathless.

you panted against him, taking in his red, swollen lips and blown out pupils. you were sure his flustered appearance mirrored yours. you always seemed to come undone at the slightest of friction from him.

"you should..." he trailed off, breathing heavily, his eyes barely able to look into yours. "you should go to bed. its been a long day."

your brows furrow as you look up at him, taken aback by his sudden switch. "no," you say defiantly. "don't do that. you always do that," you say, trying to keep your voice steady so you didn't come out as whiny as you felt.

"just..." you trail off, your hands practically pawing at his chest, fingers digging into his white button down. your eyes glassed over, as they always do when frustration hits, clawing at your throat. you tried to find the words, tried to find something that will magically change his mind. "just stay. stop hiding."

rafe closed his eyes, his expression serious. he looked as if he was holding back, like it was taking everything in him to. "i cant," he says finally, clenching his jaw. "i cant."

"why not?" you ask pleadingly. in the moment, you couldnt find it in yourself to care how desperate you sounded, you needed to know. you needed to be close to him.

rafe exhaled. "i cant do it. it hurts me." he says, his voice intense as his eyes burned into yours.

you swallowed, surprised by his confession, so used to him being the composed one. you didn't understand the affect you had on him.

"its hurts me to not be with you," he continues intensely. "its hurst to watch you sitting across from these worthless men, who don't even know the first thing about you, looking at you like your some object," he practically seethes, speaking in a low but harsh voice. "and thats not even the worst part, i know you have no interest in those guys, i know you think they're just as much of a joke as i do. but what does that say about me, about us, that these mindless jackasses get to have you and i don't?"

you swallow your emotions, speaking passionately back. "you don't think it hurts me as well? i hate it, every second of it, but i don't have a choice," you argue, a fire lit inside you at his words. you choked back any tears that threatened to crawl out. "and they don't get to have me, maybe thats how the public sees it, but they don't. you do, or at least you would, if you let me."

rafe shakes his head, clenching his jaw. "you don't get it. I cant have you. it doesnt matter how much you or i want it, i cant. you are my boss, it is my job to protect you. how do you think i would feel if something were to happen to you because i got distracted, huh?" he speaks lowly, a bite in his words. "i would never forgive myself."

you shake your head, emotion pouring out of your words. you understood what he was saying, but you still didn't think it was a good enough excuse. "that could happen regardless, rafe, don't you understand? what your doing right now is lying to yourself, saying that theres nothing between us and that this isnt real. that doesn't change anything, that doesn't change reality."

rafe sighs, running a hand down his face, trying to collect himself. he speaks a bit quieter, a tinge of regret in his chest for getting frustrated with you. "m'not lying to myself, i'm well aware of whats happening here, kid."

you swallow down your feelings, but your glassy eyes betrayed you. "don't call me that." you say tensely, yours lips trembling a bit. "i hate it when you call me that."

its silent for a moment, the only sounds that could be heard was both of your labored breaths.

"angel..." he trails off, his voice barely above a whisper.

you don't respond, a sniffle being the only sound you make.

"i wish there was something i could say to make you understand where i'm coming from," he sighs out, sounding exhausted from your semi-fight.

you mirror his sigh, tentatively looking up at him. "i do understand, thats the worst part." you whisper.

"i just..." you bite your lip, reaching out to grab his waist, attempting to pull him close. "i don't get why this isn't enough. cant this be enough?"

rafe let out a soft breath of air, leaning forward to rest his forehead on yours. "for now. for now it can be enough." he says lowly, his hands brushing you hair behind your shoulder, before sliding up to cup your cheeks.

the two of you stood there like that in silence, until you were too tired to stand. rafe took you to bed, the two of you falling fast asleep, comforted by the fact that even if it wasn't permanent, even if it wasnt as satisfactory as it could've been, you would have each other in private, for as long as you could stand it.

note: i know i usually make these two a bit smutty, but i wanted to show a deeper side of them, bc they are my EVERYTHING. i love them, hope you do too!!! love u all MWAH!!!

[amourrs]

18+ only, implied brat ellie? absolutely no plot just smut with a vague theme and yapping…

pondering the thought of birthday sex with ellie, specifically in the morning when she’s just itching with anticipation. the sun’s ascendant, though at present shrouded, making the whole episode feel more hush-hush. you could even consider it a smidge covert, the way the moment’s kept for your eyes (and other senses) only as her silklike lips trail brazenly up the expanse of your flesh, pearlescent in the maiden light of dawn that spills liquidly through the open curtains. she’d forgotten to close them last night, but now the mishap works in her favour, illuminating your skin as she indents her teeth into it, watches it spring back whilst leaving the ridges of her molars behind. marking you up, running her thumb over the crescents like a prayer.

she continues to traverse a path, tongue abrading the spots she hits as a sorry attempt at soothing the irritation until a particularly harsh nip tugs at a cord in your brain, pulling you from that sweet dreamscape you’d been so happily enjoying just to realise that a better alternative is being offered up to you on a silver platter. you moan, an asseveration of your returned desires as your fingers wind into her hair, a tangled mane-like lattice that silks into soft order as you run your digits through it. her name passes your lips as she grins into your clavicle, mouth wandering down further as her hand reaches into her hair and she interlinks her fingers with yours. like this, she’s all sweetness, no salt, if you’ll pardon the shoddy wordplay— an event that’s not so frequent, so you savour it the more it occurs. her tongue drags over your navel, dipping into your belly button as you shriek, nails scratching at her face as if to ward her off as the auburnette snickers at you. “m’sorry, babe. couldn’t help it— fuck, happy birthday. ‘s been so hard waiting, had to wake you up. you get it, right?”

you go to make a quick riposte on the topic but it withers in your throat like a flower shredded at the stem when her teeth snag your underwear, ivory mismatched against black lace as she drags them down off your legs in irriation. a hindrance, only serving to camouflage her real object. all thoughts of anything but ellie ellie ellie are whisked from your brain with the long stripe she licks up your cunt and you display as such when you chant her name out, a mantra so soft on her ears that she chuckles into you. the vibrations only serve to make you wetter, the freckled girl’s fingers splaying your folds to reveal your slick to her; you’d presume it was ichor and not arousal with the way she looks on in starved bliss. her tongue travels from your perineum to your entrance, fingers trailing with it, eager to explore as she slides one into you. the smothered squeak from you provides only to enkindle her depravities, second finger joining the first as she hooks them, searching for gold as her mouth lays sloppy kisses over your sensitive bud. she lays it on you like it’s religion, like you’re the priest and she’s the acolyte at the altar, treating this sordid affair like something holy as she rests her head devout and innocent on your thigh as if she’s not desecrating you, devouring you with rapture.

it takes you a minute to notice it at first in your pleasure, but there’s an odd rhythm to the motions of her tongue on your clit. almost as if mapping out a preordained plan— and that’s when it hits you. she’s spelling. squinted eyes and bursts of much spasmodic focus assist you in making out the vague idea of many of the letters; you string them together in your mind and easily piece together the gaps, pushing at her head as you choke down a laugh. “are you— are you seriously spelling happy birthday right now? thought it was more traditional to like, sing that in a song alongside the cake.” your teases get to her, face strawberrying softly at your chuckles as her freckles stand out in soft definition. “okay, well. i did actually make you a cake— don’t worry, dina helped,” an interjection much needed after the look of abject horror plastered across your face, “so. i’ll sing later. right now, kinda in the middle of something. in case you hadn’t noticed.” it’s pointed, the way her mouth nestles back in between your thighs, the aforementioned muscles squeezing tightly around her skull in a way that has her groaning as her tongue flicks out across your clit again. you’re pretty sure you can discern the shape of the A and Y at the end of ‘birthday’ as her digits curl into your walls at the perfect spot, grinding until you see stars and the coil inside your stomach snaps, legs shaking as you ride out your high against your girlfriend’s face. fuckin’ goofball.

happy birthday to one of my all time favourite mutuals, the lovely @astralnymphh — couldn’t hand deliver ellie to your door as a gift, so considered this to be a consolation 🎂♡

[melmedardaapologist]

ambessa costume design analysis: war and family

*rubs hands together* Alright let’s do this

I think we forget that, before season 1 episode 8 “Oil and Water,” we didn’t have a reference for the Medarda standards that Mel supposedly failed—this is why Ambessa’s first appearance is so striking. While Mel has completely scrubbed red from her wardrobe, red is the first thing that jumps out with the cape and the accents—a bold color that is associated with passion and violence and decisiveness, all traits that Ambessa proudly boasts

The grey and black then point to functionality and metals like iron, which are used more for warfare, in contrast to gold, which is a softer metal

The immediate next observation is the functionality of the outfit—the shoulder and hip guards, the belt and abdomen armor, the pants, the boots. While in good condition, the immediate conclusion that we get is that, like Sevika and Vi, this is a character who likes a free range of movement to dish out violence, and the casual way with which she wears this outfit shows how at ease she is with this violence, how she values her physical strength

(hilariously, in the art book screenshot below, the top right draft for Ambessa’s outfit shows her in a symmetrical white waistcoat with gold and black accents like Mel’s Piltover outfit, which I’m glad that they didn’t use in the end, but I think Ambessa would’ve worn it at least once to freak Mel out)

Her hair is free and wild, almost careless, again in contrast to Mel’s carefully groomed braids (keep this in mind for later)—where Mel lets her put together appearance speak of her character, Ambessa’s not carelessness, but her confidence

The picture with Mel and Ambessa in front of the former’s painting is also interesting, because we can see how the red from the sails matches Ambessa’s red—unity with nation, as for the purposes of the story, Ambessa is Noxus, but then we see that the ambient coloring of the painting is gold—Mel’s color. The painting—Mel’s vision—is the closest we see mother and daughter aligned, with Ambessa just having invited Mel to come back, and the beautiful and almost dream-like scene behind them unites them briefly

Of course, this is Arcane so that never happens, which brings us to one of my favorite images of Ambessa:

Firstly, this is just mwah so sexy there’s the ambient red of the scene from the ashes and fire, adding to the association of red as violence, but more significantly:

It’s the first time she wears gold—and it’s in a war mask, already smeared with blood and green chems

So this outfit just—props to the design department. Just. Gorgeous. Beautiful. Outstanding. 100/10 villain outfit

So there’s a lot going down here, so I’ll start with real world inspirations: from this post by @hyperfixationcritter (it has so much more info, i would def recommend the whole thing!), we can see that the headdress could be inspired by Zulu isicholos and the red threading is similar to the Dahomey warriors, which I love, as they could’ve just gone with the Roman and/or medieval aesthetic natural to Noxus, but instead they went with African influences, so when we see the pinnacle of Medarda splendor, it’s distinct and unique

Also here’s some art book insights (my eternal thanks to @stealingpotatoes for the photo!)

So from the regal outfit drafts, we can see them cycling out different ideas of war-like aesthetic, from the more modern military aesthetic with the side cloak and clean lines which would be more like a cleaned up version of Ambessa’s first outfit, to the symmetrical wing-like gold breastplate that, interestingly, mimicks Mel’s back tattoo. I still like the version that they settled on the most, but I love how we can see what aspects they wanted to evoke through the process

The blood mask is definitely more Viking-like in aesthetic, but I feel this is something a younger Blood Sweat & Tears Ambessa would do

And going to the actual mask, it’s interesting to note that it looks more Noxian gray and iron than the final color, which brings me to my favorite point:

Firstly, I love how you can see the similarities in features in mother and daughter, but more than that, what jumps out?

Gold—Ambessa’s decadent earrings and lip ring, the breastplate, the accents on the outfit, except in contrast to Mel, Ambessa’s gold speaks of war—the earrings are triangular and pointed, the breastplate is a functional piece of armor

Narratively speaking, when Mel disappears, Ambessa is not only politically but also visually primed to take her place as the power in Piltover

Also I want to share insights from this post by the fabulous @melmedarda

And it leaves you to wonder, is it a Medarda custom to braid their hair when at war? To wear gold to war where all of Noxus wears red and black and silver?

Mel choses her battleground to be politics and subtlety and diplomacy. Ambessa choses the wolf and the blade

Furthermore, the coloring is primarily white, black and gold—Mel’s colors—showing how even if she did return, these signifiers of the identity she built for herself have been overtaken and their meaning inverted—in a way, her mother has stolen that from her, and that’s so twisted and incredibly interesting at the same time (also interesting to note that Mel seems to be primed to be Caitlyn’s support after Cassandra Kiramman’s death, but then Ambessa takes up that role, and then it returns to Mel during the final battle)

After this change, we really only see Ambessa in her workout martial arts outfit with Caitlyn, otherwise it’s variations on accessories on a basic theme, much like Mel’s season 1 outfit really only changes with the ratios of black and white, and while yes, I’ve said before that it would be cool to see some variation, story-wise giving a character a recognizable outfit works towards creating them as a recognizable and steady figure—Mel as the stable reference for wealth, Ambessa as the glory of war

I love this photo so much—firstly, the only change is the hair, which has been reworked from it’s complicated headdress into functional twin braids, and there’s a beautiful balance between the blade and the Medarda ring on her hand. This is probably the most gold we see her wearing, at the height of her military power, before the power of a butch with beautiful eyes compels Caitlyn to betray her

Here we can clearly see that the regal outfit is very easily turned into a functional outfit—even at her most decadent, it takes two seconds to lose the coat and have free range to wield weapons

Returning to the mask, in the final battle, we can see its iconic claw marks from Warwick—wear and tear from the war that we saw happen onscreen from a clash of two Wolf-coded figures (I have thoughts about the wolf metaphor in relation to social dynamics and the lone wolf idea as portrayed by Vander and Ambessa, but that’s a whole other discussion)

Design-wise, it’s also very smart to have the anti-magic runes be green—it makes them easy to spot against Ambessa’s usual design

But of course they can’t save her, and Ambessa dies, and in the final shot, she looks like this:

The lack of focus on gold or armor makes us focus on her face, and for a moment, there is such softness and tenderness there as she gazes at Mel. Because yes, she was the armor and the blade and the iron and gold, but in the end, she was just a mother who loved her daughter. She was a horrible parent and a violent warlord, but the love was there, and at the end of her life this is what we focus on, because everything else were just the expressions of the power she sought to protect them.

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

What a journey. I can’t believe it’s over. I’m definitely rewatching the whole thing soon because right now, it’s all about the feels. I just know there’s so much I missed the first time, and I need to go back and catch every little detail. But for now, I wanted to get some immediate thoughts down.

First off, @colourme-feral clowned correctly, going independent was the move, so she gets the crown. Honestly, considering gmmtv was working with one of their own groups at the centre of this, I did not see that coming. But I love it. Wouldn’t change a thing. I think it makes total sense within the show. As for Pemika’s redemption...not my favourite, but it didn’t bother me as much as some other cases. Even if we hate her, she’s a character that feels real, and let’s be honest, people like her aren’t disappearing anytime soon.

About the dating thing. I’m actually glad they didn’t address it. Let’s be real, there was no way to properly resolve that within the given time frame. Instead, we can just assume they’ll date whoever they want and handle any fallout together when it happens. Which, honestly, feels pretty realistic. Idols date, sometimes we find out, sometimes we don’t. Most of the time, they just keep it private. Trying to solve it outright wouldn’t have felt natural, so I’m glad they left it as is.

What I’m happiest about is how grounded the show stayed overall. Sure, ignoring the fact that they were basically dating in the open for ages without getting caught (and when they did, it was just one photographer), most of it felt really realistic enough in how it portrayed the industry, the fans, and the idols themselves. At least from what I, as a fan, have access to, it all read as pretty authentic. Obviously, it’s still a love story at its core, and it had its limitations, but it really felt like they put in the effort to explore these things with a level of realism attached.

Now, onto the two most darling mains. They’re just so good together. One of their biggest strengths is how much they can convey through body language and eye contact alone. So even in those slower moments, like when they’re just walking together, for instance, there’s always something happening beneath the surface. Half the time, they’re completely silent, and I’m the one screaming. Their chemistry is incredible, and they’ve got permanent heart eyes for each other.

I love that we got a little bit of domesticity too. And Po going back to the suit shop? Loved that. (Also how cute was it that the shop made the suits for their performance?) He didn't go there as a fallback or out of pure necessity, but just because it’s a place he genuinely enjoys being at, even if it’s not 'the dream'. It tied in well with that conversation he had with his boss earlier in the show. Maybe he'll get another opportunity in the future but for now, he's happy where he is. Also, "Because of you, I like my ordinary days". They are killing me. This show really brought out my gooey, deeply buried core with these two.

Considering they are a new pair, I'm really surprised at how good they are together. I think they play off each other really well and they complement each other, and their scenes feel effortless and compelling. Of course, it doesn't hurt that they are beautiful.

As much as I hated Fern in that episode, I did think it was good that she got the chance to grow. We all get a bit mad sometimes, granted perhaps not that mad, but still, it’s nice to see a character actually have the space to rethink, change, and do better instead of just being pushed aside or permanently written off for it. And Po bringing Thame without warning was priceless. Don't really know why I had to see Earn's face again, but it was quick so I've forgotten it already. He gets no redemption from me.

Overall, I think the show did a great job balancing both sides of the story. Giving us plenty of swoon-worthy moments (and boy, were they swoon-worthy) while never letting us forget that, on the other side, there was a group of friends just trying to chase their dream in an industry that isn’t always kind to its idols. I think the group's journey was really satisfying to watch. The friendship moments felt genuine, which is why having a real tpop group for this show was such a smart choice. It added an extra layer of authenticity that made those moments hit so much harder.

It's unlikely we'll get these two again as pair, but even if we do, it won't be anytime soon, so I just need them to cast Est in everything. He's such a pretty crier. Well, he's a pretty everything. Also this is the first show from this director I watched in full, so I'll be curious to see what else she'll be doing in the future. I really like a lot about the script and the way it's shot, the visuals, and the pace I thought was really good all the way through. I will miss them all so much, and I wish I could watch them all grow even more, but it was a really satisfying journey, a beautiful watch and a very good ending.

[buckysouvenir]

in the hex, episode 2: just the two of us

pairing: bucky barnes x y/n summary: Y/N, a witch with no memory of her true nature, lives a seemingly perfect life with her husband, Bucky Barnes, in a quiet, idyllic 1950s town. Everything seems picture-perfect—Y/N and Bucky are a deeply loving couple, content in their everyday routine. They share playful moments, enjoy simple pleasures, and have a deep connection that feels unshakable. Their life is peaceful, with no hint of anything out of the ordinary. However, things aren’t what they seem. authors note: in complete shock of how much all of you are so entertained by this! (i’m also grateful, don’t get me wrong haha) (it’s also carnival in my country so apologies for any delays in posting!!!)

last episode | in the hex masterlist | next episode

reblogs, likes and comments are always encouraged and highly appreciated! thank you ♡

The morning air is crisp, carrying the scent of freshly baked bread from the bakery down the street. The town is alive with friendly chatter, neighbors tending to their gardens, and kids riding bicycles along the sidewalks.

Y/N and Bucky walk hand in hand through the bustling town square, a woven basket hooked over Y/N’s arm.

“You sure we needed this much fruit?” Bucky teases, glancing at the assortment of apples, oranges, and peaches she insisted on buying.

Y/N gives him a playful nudge. “Well, if someone didn’t eat five peaches in one sitting, I wouldn’t have to restock so soon.”

Bucky smirks. “What can I say? You married a man with a peach addiction.”

She rolls her eyes with a smile, adjusting her grip on his arm as they walk. The warmth of his skin beneath her fingertips feels so real, so familiar. Like she’s held onto him her whole life.

As they pass by a boutique, Y/N slows down, eyeing a powder-blue dress displayed in the window.

Bucky notices immediately. “You like it?”

She shrugs. “It’s beautiful, but I don’t need another dress.”

Bucky steps closer, looking at the dress with a thoughtful expression. “It’d look real nice on you, doll.”

Y/N feels warmth creep up her cheeks. “You think so?”

“I know so.” He smirks, then tugs her inside the store without another word.

By the time they leave, Y/N has the dress neatly wrapped in brown paper, and Bucky looks way too pleased with himself.

“You spoil me,” Y/N murmurs as they make their way back home.

Bucky presses a kiss to her temple. “You make it easy.”

Later that evening, they lounge on their front porch, enjoying the cool night air. Fireflies dance in the garden, their glow flickering softly.

Bucky leans back in his chair, sipping a cold beer, while Y/N rests her feet on his lap, flipping through a magazine. The sounds of crickets and distant laughter fill the quiet.

“I love nights like this,” Y/N says, stretching her arms above her head. “Just you, me, and the stars.”

Bucky smiles. “Yeah? I thought you liked the big town parties.”

“I do,” she admits. “But… I think I like this more.”

Bucky’s fingers trace lazy circles on her ankle. “Me too.”

A comfortable silence settles between them.

Then—

A flicker.

The porch light above them dims, then flickers violently before shutting off completely.

At the same time, the radio inside the house crackles to life, though neither of them turned it on. A voice—garbled and distant—echoes from within.

Bucky sits up straight. “Did you hear that?”

Y/N nods slowly, placing her magazine down. “Yeah…”

The radio crackles again. The voice is distorted, layered, almost pleading—

“Ca—… an y—… me?”

Bucky stands, instinctively moving in front of Y/N. His shoulders tense, as if preparing for something unseen.

Y/N swallows hard. “Bucky, what’s going on?”

The radio hisses sharply, then—

Silence.

The porch light flickers back on. The radio shuts off. Everything is normal again.

Too normal.

Bucky exhales, running a hand through his hair. “Probably just a power surge,” he mutters, though he doesn’t sound convinced.

Y/N nods, but her heart is still racing. She glances up at the night sky. The stars seem… off. Like they’re not twinkling quite the same way they were before.

She shakes off the thought and looks at Bucky. He’s watching her carefully, like he knows she feels it too.

Neither of them says anything.

But for the first time, the perfect life they share feels… fragile.

#taglist: @whisperingashgarden @baw1066 @mirrorballbb @skittslackoffilter @fan4astic @torntaltos @lovebabybellah

[actuallyjustabiscuit]

Jax’s behavior is legit pretty fascinating

Yes it’s time I ramble about the purple twink.

Fast Food Masquerade did something crazy in that it actually got me to start empathizing with the asshole because Jax’s visible frustration throughout this adventure was too real.

And in fact, it’s why I think Jax was acting so “different” towards the latter half of the episode.

This adventure was Too. Damn. Real.

Now, Jax’s character is actually really simple. He even sums up his whole schtick in the pilot.

“I’m fine with doing whatever, as long as I get to see funny things happen to people.”

Then in a hilarious bit of instant karma, promptly gets hit in the face with a gloink

The “-who aren’t me” part of that self description pretty much goes without saying.

Immediately after this happens, Jax’s little laidback exterior gets so rattled that he suddenly feels the need to take control and starts assigning tasks to everyone. And his casual attitude only returns once he feels like he’s not in any position for ridicule, by redirecting the potential for ridicule onto others. This is his defense mechanism.

Jax needs to feel in control, so he deliberately controls whatever situation he’s in to get the results he wants.

Something that I’ve always appreciated about Jax from a meta perspective is that he’s a character who actively moves the story forward, usually because he wants to satisfy his urge to create chaos.

And that’s the main thing about Jax, he’s really destructive.

Like…almost pointlessly destructive.

But, y’know what? It makes sense. Because he’s in a video game.

Where else can you be as needlessly and excessively chaotic than in a game where you can do pretty much anything because nothing is real?

Jax can hurt whoever and wreck whatever because if he’s living by video game logic, then there are no lasting consequences to his actions.

Jax even goes so far as to refer to Pomni, and by extension the other trapped humans, as a “character” in the pilot. Which goes to show how little he wants to consider them as people.

You can’t really hurt a character. And if used correctly, a character can be entertaining.

And that’s all Jax really wants out of his new life in the Circus, entertainment. Because the worst thing you can be while stuck in a game is be bored.

But of course, even in games, your actions have certain consequences that are just unavoidable.

And Episode 4 really beat Jax’s yellow teeth in with that not-so-fun little reminder. Because this bit right here

Pretty much was the precedent for how bad Jax was gonna get it this time.

And it all starts with Gangle absolutely refusing to let his usual bullshit slide by personally making sure that there will be consequences.

This is the first crack in Jax’s mask, he’s visibly concerned and annoyed that he no longer is allowed to be himself lest he risks getting punished. And even more baffling is that for the first time, Gangle asserts her power over him. She actually does something about his behavior, ripping the wind right out of his sails. Not only that but she continually enforces her authority, making it harder on him to get the upper hand again.

Now his interaction with Zooble is really interesting, because it’s the first time we see him at his most normal.

I don’t think he’s trying to tease them here, I feel like he’s genuinely curious about Zooble’s way of “playing” the game, because remember, it’s been a long time since they’ve been on an adventure together, if at all. Zooble’s excuse of wanting to avoid punishment makes sense because they witnessed first hand that Caine’s unstable personality is capable of some legitimate danger.

Of course, Jax believes that there isn’t any real risk involved. The only immediate menace to him and his current desire to just get through the day, is Gangle and her new mask.

At this point he’s not trying to be destructive or disruptive. He’s fully apathetic, because being forced to act like a minimum wage salary employee is not fun in the slightest. He can’t make things fun for himself, so he refuses to participate entirely.

As the clock mocks him with every slow tick, his mask chips more and more.

Jax isn’t saying this to be calculatingly rude or hurtful, he’s not doing this to upset Gangle. He’s being sincere, which is why he’s not smiling.

Because Gangle is much easier to push around and go along with whatever he wants her to do when she’s in Tragedy mode. She’s more “fun” that way.

In other words, he really hates this new dynamic they’ve got going on.

But this little comment, just makes things even worse for him because now Gangle goes from enforcing her authority to straight up abusing it by letting herself abuse him for a change.

It’s crazy how Jax’s main concern here is making sure this torture scene is just between them. He really hates being humiliated, more so than getting physically hurt.

The man has some serious issues, but c’mon we already knew that.

So Jax is finally getting a taste of his own medicine and it completely emasculates him. To the point where he just defaults to doing whatever Gangle tells him to do just to avoid feeling like that again. Now the mask is fully stripped off, he’s openly exasperated and powerless. On top of that he has no real impulse to ridicule or ruffle anyone’s feathers anymore, because for the first time in probably a long while, he’s even more miserable than everyone else.

And what does misery love?

Company

As someone who’s worked in retail for a while, nothing helps keep you sane more than having a little of bit of camaraderie when struggling to survive in corporate hell.

Something that really stood out to me in this episode is the limited use in background music, especially when in Spudsy’s, where you either get muzak to sell the ambiance of a public eatery or silence with the occasional machinery noise.

And yeah, that’d be enough to make shit as immersive as possible. It’s not a coincidence that the restaurant looks like a McDonald’s when Gooseworx even said it was directly modeled after it. It’s uncanny, how real this setup feels.

Uncomfortably uncanny.Jax seething at the clock is a relatable struggle.

The mask immediately comes back on once Jax no longer has any obligation to stick around.

But Jax can’t even enjoy his freedom. His day is officially over, but the sting of the experience still lingers. The adventure wasn’t just boring or frustrating, it was humbling, in every terrible way. This wasn’t a game, it was real life.

And I think the last kick in the teeth was this license plate waiting for him in the parking lot (Why did Caine make them drive “home”? That’s just extra)

One is the loneliest number

Jax doesn’t hide the fact that he’s an asshole, he’s almost proud of it. He practically relishes getting a rise out of everyone. He is well aware that nobody likes him, but I think this where he starts realizing that it actually bothers him.

Everyone has talked about that very brief moment where Jax’s expression changed towards the end of Candy Carrier Chaos, when Ragatha was talking about Kaufmo’s funeral and we get to see him actually get sad for a change, before immediately shaking it off and stomping away in irritation.

Jax showed no concern over Kaufmo’s abstraction in the pilot, so why would he feel sad about it in that moment? Does he secretly care about his fellow humans and just doesn’t want to admit it?

Maybe. But personally, I think the others choosing to morn those who’ve abstracted like they’re dead makes him seriously uncomfortable. Because it serves as a reminder that even in this world, there are still major consequences when some things aren’t taken seriously.

Jax doesn’t want to consider real life consequences. None of them even look like real people, so why should he bother treating everyone like real people?

So when he sees everyone else getting closer and being good to each other, it’s annoying and weird. The idea that they need to look out for one another feels pathetic. Treating abstraction seriously means it’s a real danger, and that would mean that he’s also susceptible to experiencing it one day.

And when you’ve built up a reputation over making everyone miserable, who’s gonna wanna remember you?

In a show that’s clearly all about building relationships, Jax’s destructive behavior is really gonna cost him.

[utilitycaster]

Would you be willing to share more about this campaign playing into the weaknesses of Matt, Marisha, Laura, and Liam. I guess specifically, what are the main weaknesses youre seeing and how do you think the campaign exacerbated them?

If you’ve answered this already sorry!!!

In short:

Matt is extremely good at following his players' instincts and making the world feel like it is continuing to spin even when the characters aren't focusing on it. He is actually pretty bad at guessing what the players will do until quite late in the game (sorry man you should have realized the Augen Trust plot was dead from like, at the latest, episode 12, and it's WILD that you didn't anticipate Keyleth being on speed dial would be like, a factor) and at longform railroading (especially when that requires him to bypass the long digressions a character-focused arc), and he is VERY bad at saying no or bringing down the axe. It's always good to be a kind person, and it's frequently good to be a nice person in real life, but niceness in storytelling sucks ass. So he tried to run a very heavily plotted campaign without putting a heavy enough hand on the scale, failed to handle a very aimless party, and pulled pretty much every single punch.

Marisha tends to have pretty loose character concepts. This isn't bad, but it does mean that they need to be either very driven, or for the narrative to force them to be driven, for them to be interesting. Keyleth has her Aramente and her need to become a leader. Beau's mentorship from Dairon and her close relationships with the rest of the Mighty Nein and her general curiosity led her to get involved with all kinds of messes, even though the actual backstory of her plot was largely handled without her (again, another way to look at this is C1 and C2 played to these people's strengths). But she often has these gaps that feel like she stopped character development midway through. Laudna is obviously the most egregious (the ten years in the desert is honestly hilarious in how bad it is) but think about how Patia was so utterly defined by family position - and did a good job with that! the scene where she addresses her grandfather is a highlight! - but Marisha never once had even the barest outline of her parents designed. Like that's a pretty massive oversight for a character you describe as a Kennedy! Her whole deal is who her family is! And so by making a go with the flow character but also giving that character a horrible traumatic backstory that she was not, ultimately, really over, she made an incoherent mess.

Laura excels with quiet background development and a lot of room to play with character dynamics without necessarily being in the hot seat. She is, by her own admission, afraid of making the wrong decisions in the D&D game. This is not how D&D works. You make choices. If you fail to make choices it will be boring. Vex can choose to join Saundor or not, but neither of these is The Right Choice, it's just a choice you make that has (here is the word that much of the fandom is too stupid to understand) consequences, as all choices do. If she joins with him she gets a boon, but also a drawback. If she doesn't, he attacks her viciously both physically and emotionally. So anyway Imogen was put in a position of having to make a lot of decisions but without a real time pressure either, and Laura's hesitance to do this as a character positioned as The Chosen One meant that the entire story was just a slog of a bunch of idiots with no plan or philosophy other than the basest self-interest. Imogen's introversion and unwillingness to branch out especially early on is also true to the character but really goes against Laura's own strengths with the more outgoing and gregarious Vex and Jester (or even characters willing to say weird or mean shit like Arlo, the Matron, Sweetpea. and Bethany).

Liam is also at times too nice for his own good and won't go against his friends (Caleb in particular was a great example of the character concept canceling out Liam's weakest tendencies; just as Bells Hells in many case played to people's greatest weakness, though in Laura's case it was not her fault, the Nein played to many of their greatest strengths). To be clear: being a hostile asshole at the table is bad, but if you have clearly said for a hundred odd episodes that you won't let people go forward with this plan, then when they go forward with this plan, stand up and fight. If you have said that service to the Raven Queen and an acceptance of death is important, then frankly, your friend wishing their character had a happier ending is a valid thing to feel but you are not obligated to sacrifice your own meaningful ending to give them theirs. I don't know what happened behind the scenes there, but it certainly doesn't inspire faith.

[kanmom51]

Are you sure?! Sapporo - Episode 8

I know.

I know it's been a bit and a half.

I know it's taken me time to come here and talk about the last episode.

I've been digesting, totally in the feels, and trying to recover.

The photobook, JM's little piece of information regarding his whereabouts night before Jeju and the pic. OMG, that JK marked by JM pic. The more you think about it the crazier it gets. That they actually did that and that the photo made it's way into the book (not to mention us knowing that JM has that pic he took of JK on his phone). All quite a distraction from me working through my thoughts about the episode. A welcomed distraction, but a distraction none the less.

This last episode we got of their Sapporo trip was an emotional rollercoaster. Not only for JK and JM. The level of Joy on the one hand. Seeing them so very happy. And them allowing us to see even more of them and their happiness. Like JM said:

Thinking again about what he said here... and then going back to this:

Yeah, I know he was talking about their Sapporo trip, but you know that this isn't the first time we saw JM wanting to claim his territory.

I know I don't have to point out where JM was pointing where he was going to be writing "Jimin", right?

So, this too is something JM does at home? Just a thought, lol.

And then those two just had to kill me. I know they were both pensive and sad it was all coming to an end, but JM crying, that just devastated me (because It's JM, and JM struggles so with showing himself so vulnerable).

So yes, it has taken me a second to get my wits together and come back and talk a bit with you about what we had in Episode 8.

When I finished watching the episode for the first time I couldn't help but think:

It's the end of the world as we know it...

Well, not really, because we knew it pretty well, but for those that didn't (or wouldn't see it, or denied it, or lived in a delusion that it wasn't happening) it sure is changed.

And then we get JM and JK just crushing down all those TKK rickety houses of cards (see what I did there?) with the photobook. Absolutely priceless!!

Are you sure?! Episode 8

Filled with romance and sentiment and so much feels. Couplie feels.

This episode, is the one, out of all those it followed, to cement for us, the spectators (all spectators, not only Jikookers), that these two are... drumroll... a REAL LIFE long term ever so loving couple.

No huge ear sucking, hickey showing or sunscreen claiming moments. And yet, this episode differs so much from the ones that came before because the whole aura of it was so heavy in "if it looks like a duck and quack like a duck then it's a fucking couple you idiots, just open your eyes".

This is JM and JK just being themselves albeit Sapporo Jikook are innately different due to timing and place - Japan and last trip before enlistment made this so much MORE for the two of them, and we most definitley saw just how much so at the end of this episode.

But this is also the editors doing, with the company's ok, of course, allowing us to see so much MORE. I do believe, that just like with the hickey finding it's way into memories 2020, this episode, the editing of it, was a conscious decision of both Jikook and the company. Jikook being themselves and allowing us to see more of it. More of them. I can assure you there is much we did not get to see, just like there was much we did not see from the previous trips and episodes, but we were allowed to see MORE in episode 8.

And again, it's not about seeing sus moments, because we definitely got a few of those in this episode. We had some in previous episodes as well.

It's about the MOOD.

it's about the editing allowing for more private moments (emotionally private, couplie private, not necessarily what people love to see or think would be the most suspicious ones, the more obvious ones with sexual innuendos), moments that I am sure happened in the other two destinations as well but were edited out.

But there were still things we weren't allowed to see.

Like when a crying JM goes to wake up JK in the morning.

Too personal. Too emotional. Too private.

Beyond the MORE, it was just TOO MUCH.

And yet we did get Jikook just being themselves and us getting to see it. Jikook just BEING. And it was beautiful. It was emotional. It was intimate. It was so very special.

We got to see them react to the first episode of the show. And although this most definitely wouldn't be the first time we got to see them sit down and watch and react to BTS content, that was always within the context of BTS content and with the other members. I can think of one time we got to see them watching their own interactions during the Black Swan shoot.

But even that had them sitting apart and the whole group present.

This was intimate. Just the two with only a red pillow between them (which I am 100% they put there to remind themselves of where, when and what they are doing). JK holding on to that pillow, to prevent hands from straying? I guess it kept them at bay... at times...

So yes. We see JK and JM (oh boy JM) definitely in the feels. And the different editing. Allowing us to see and feel their intimacy.

And with all that, the whole intimate aura surrounding that whole episode we got some cute and some more obvious moments (those moments you can point your finger at and say "there you go", unlike a feeling you get from just watching the two BEING).

We got so so much in this episode.

We got their usual playful flirting.

One example of many:

I mean, really???

The facial expression while saying it, and the mostly lack of reaction from JM as well. No flinching, no "you shouldn't say stuff like that", nope... just this:

This, to me, is not stressing about JK saying this to him but more about it being said for us to hear.

And I'm sorry, but whichever way you look at it, this is not the reaction you would get from a bro who was just told by his bro to strip.

We got more flirting in the car, at the convenience store, at the accommodations, in the hot tub as well. I will get to it all, don't worry, lol.

We got the touchy.

We also have the full combo of flirty playful and touchy:

We got JM telling us 3 times he was taking and took a boyfriend pic.

We got them calling each other pet names.

We got JM talking about his butt and JK's familiarity with it...

We got JK showing off his BF privileges.

We got JK trying to uplift JM's mood.

We got JK telling us all these trips with JM have been the best of his life,

and:

We got JK totally lost, gazing all stary eyed at JM.

Fuck, that was so beautiful!!

I want to go back a second to the clip I shared - what the absolute perfect ending to an absolutely wonderful show. And that little surprise at the end.

Even watching it again now I'm balling my eyes out.

JM rubbing his shaved head... I can't...

😭😭

The one thing that gives me strength is knowing that they are there TOGETHER!!!

[put-me-through-the-wall]

Okay but imagine Possesive!Konig finding out someone has a crush on you. Like maybe there's guy from work who likes to linger by your desk little too long or alway finds a reason to text you when you're off. You don't think too much of it, you've always been friendly with your coworkers. It can be dull just sitting at your desk for eight hours so a little conversation helped break up the time. You figure he was harmless. Then people in the office start to notice and you realize how frequently he finds a reason to interrupt your day. Your other coworker once made a joke that he was your 'work husband' and that was the line for you. Not only were you uninterested but you also have a 6'7 hunk of a man waiting at home, who you're very content with. Then you start to notice how close he stands to you. The way he uses any excuses to brush against you or pick a piece of lint off your shoulder. So the next time that guy approaches stops by your desk you are only giving short responses. He offers to grab you something when he goes to the cafe and you refuse. He tries to walk you to your car but you insist you have to stay over to finish up some forms. He doesn't catch the hint though. You don't want to be harsh and spoil the work relationship, that last thing you need is more drama in the office environment.

Then one night you're at home on the weekend. You're sitting on the couch with Konig watching some German cooking show he insisted on and your phone lights up with a text from your dreaded admirer. "Hey! A couple of us are getting together tonight for some drinks. Would love for you to join ;)",

Your stomach tightens when you unlock your phone and feel Konig's stare over your shoulder.

"Who is that?" His tone remains flat but you feel his arm tighten around your waist. You pray he doesn't assume there is anything going on behind his back.

"This guy from work who won't stop bugging me. I'm keeping things strictly professional but he's always pushing it". You reply back to the text quickly giving a lame excuse that shouldn't warrant a response. Your phone chimes almost immediately.

"Aw too bad, I was hoping I could get you that cocktail we were talking about. Next time then xx".

You don't text him back after that and flip your phone over on the coffee table. "Sorry, let's finish this episode." You settle back against his strong chest but he sits up and grabs the remote, pausing the show.

"No, I'm tired and it's late. Let's get to bed." He rises and heads to your bedroom.

All you can think of for the rest of the night is how he interpreted the whole interaction. Could he think you flirt with this loser? Surely, he would have more faith in your loyalty. You knew you were taking the easy way out by not being totally honest. The guilt eats at you knowing you lied by omission. You thought keeping your work life and personal life separate would be easier but now you realize it was just a way to avoid the confrontation. After a not so restful night sleep you are you determine today is the day you'll finally let Pat know that you are in a committed relationship and don't appreciate the attention you receive from him. Konig is already up and dressed while you stir your coffee still in your robe. You didn't know much about his work other than it was something to do with the military and it called him away at a moment's notice. He was out of the door with a kiss on your head.

When your breathing finally slowed to a steady pace last night, Konig was able to sneak out from under you and take a peek at your phone. He wasn't worried about his sweet libeling doing anything naughty behind his back. The contents of your phone only confirm that. The real purpose of his search was to find out some more info on your coworker. He looked through the many texts this guy has sent with way too many emojis attached while you give him mostly one word responses. He knew you didn't have a wandering eye. After finding his phone number and social media from your accounts it wasn't hard to get a hold of his address. By the next morning he had a plan in motion. He kissed you goodbye and headed out. You are such a trusting girl, wishing him a good day at work. He plugged in the address and found the place with ease. Actually not too far from your place. He parks a few block away from his destination. Dressed in a dark sweatshirt, he keeps the hood up to hid his identity without looking too suspicious. He reaches the complex, taking a moment to observe the apartment building. He sees the man walk by the patio door while buttoning his dress shirt, innocently getting ready for work. Trying to look his best for you, he's sure. Konig slips on his mask and knocks on the front door. There is a moment of shuffling and the door swings open.

"Can I help you...?" The man voice becomes weak as he stretches his neck up to meet Konig's steely gaze behind the sniper hood. Konig takes out his phone to confirm the identity, holding the screen next to the man's face just to be sure.

"You are Pat?" Konig questions.

"Um, yea?" Pat responds.

Konig squints down at him, tilting his head "You do not know who you are?".

"I mean, yes I'm Pat" His voice now more certain.

"Very good." Without waiting for a response Konig shoves the him back inside of his apartment and slams the door shut with his boot. Pat falls backwards and lands hard on his ass. He shuffles backwards but not fast enough. Konigs snatches him up by the collar of his crisp white shirt, slamming him into the nearest wall, knocking picture frame down in his wake. He catches the scent of his overpowering cologne making his rage boil over. He holds the man in place with a sturdy forearm against his skinny throat. Pat's feet dangle off the floor, kicking helplessly.

"Look man, you've got the wrong guy here! If this about the bet at the bar I've got the money. Let me just-" His cracking voice is cut off by a swift punch to the gut.

"Listen to me" Konig hisses through clenched teeth and pushing on his windpipe. "You will call your boss today. You will quit. Is that understood?".

"Huh?" He squeaks out. Another jab and Pat is scratching at the solid arm retracting his oxygen. Konig removes his hold and Pat crumples to the floor, gasping for air while gripping his abused neck.

"Is that understood?" Konig's voice booms in growing rage.

"Yes!" Pat answer between coughs. Not trusting any man's word Konig watches him make the call letting your boss know he will not be coming in for the indefinite future. Satisfied with the work he's done, Konig drives back to your place whistling along to a familiar tune on the radio.

You head into work, psyching yourself up on the car ride there. Rehearsing the conversation and possible scenarios that could play out. Once clocked in you nervously sit at your desk, bouncing your leg, trying your best to focus on the workload before you. Just waiting for the inevitable moment he appears but, it never comes. The hours skip by and Pat never shows himself. It's not until lunch time you finally leave your desk round the corner to see Pat's desk being packed away. You walked up to your manager clearing out the drawers.

"Hey, where's Pat?" you ask.

"Oh, you didn't hear? He quit." She tosses the last of the trinkets in the cardboard box and closes the flaps.

"Quit? why?" you feign concern but you can't help the wave of relief that washes over you.

"I'm not sure. He called all in huff this morning. Did he say anything to you?" She asks.

"No not at all. I hope he's alright." You watch her take the box in her arms, leaving the empty desk. Maybe this was the universe finally giving you a break.

You get through the rest of your day and head back home. You find your oversized Austrian man strewn across your couch, cleaning out a pint of Ben and Jerry's.

"Hello there, I'm guessing your day went well." You say as you shuck off your jacket and hang up your bag.

"Yes it was very fulfilling. I took care of an issue that has been bothering me. How was your day, mien engel?" He set the empty carton on the coffee table as he polishes off the spoon.

"Very good actually. Remember that guy who was bugging me at work? He quit today." Konig's eyebrow shoot up in surprise.

"That is one less thing to worry about then." He say. He rises from the couch, grabs you by the waist and pulls you tight to him. "I'm glad to have you all to myself."