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minarisplaything · 14 days ago

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Loyalty

hanni x male reader (ft. background Danielle, Minji, and Haerin) word count: 3,335 a/n: back from the grave with a topical one-shot. newjeans never die... disclaimer: this is a work of fiction and does not represent any individuals, situations or real life. summary: After a shake-up at Ador the whole staff were let go. You were brought in as part of the new hires, specifically to be one of the managers for NewJeans. Weary from the last regime, the members want to make sure that they can trust you, inviting you to a private meeting to see where your loyalties lie.

The last thing you expected when you were hired by Ador to be part of the new management for the global sensation NewJeans was to be called in for a meeting by the members themselves. You had expected you'd introduce yourself at some point, after all, you'd be one of the core managers after the staff turnover, but what you hadn't expected was for it to feel so formal.

You shifted in your seat, feeling slightly anxious as you waited for...whatever this was, to begin.

"Oppa, you don't have to be nervous," Danielle said, her voice as sweet as her appearance.

From the outside looking in, Danielle had always struck you as the sweetest of the bunch. The type of woman who would comfort anyone and brighten their day with kind words.

"Yeah, we just want to make sure everyone is on the same page" Minji added, seated to Dani's left. Her voice was soft, but more firm than Danielle's. Where Dani offered you a sweet, reassuring smile, Minji looked far more serious in her expression. It was hard not to be nervous.

"That's good to hear," you chuckled, trying to dispel the nerves. "When you four said you wanted to meet I was a little uneasy."

To call it unusual was an understatement. Yet here you were, in a chair seated across from four of the five members: Danielle, Minji, Hanni, and Haerin.

"It's been really hard to figure out who we can trust," Hanni chimed in. Her voice was sympathetic. As if she was finding the middle ground between the prior two. "With all this turnover, we just want to make sure the new staff has the right priorities."

You swallowed thickly. Why did that feel like a threat?

Your eyes turned towards Haerin, expecting her to chime in. But she merely continued to stay at you silently with her cat-like gaze. You shifted again in your seat slightly, trying to dismiss any feeling of discomfort and remain professional. You hadn't felt nearly this anxious during your initial interview for this position.

"I-I see. Well, that is understandable. It's a big change after all," you said. "Whatever I can do to help ease any concerns you might have, I'll do it."

"I knew you'd understand," Dani clasped her hands together, her smile beaming.

Minji, however, seemed less convinced. "We'll see."

Hanni folded her hands on the table that was situated between the four of them and you, her eyes compassionate. "The one thing we're most worried about is loyalty. The last staff was loyal to HYBE. We want to make sure that you are loyal to us. That you won't do anything to hurt us. That you'll listen to us."

Her voice lowered an octave at the last part.

"That sounds...reasonable."

Honestly, it sounded complicated. You hadn't exactly signed up for being part of some corporate politics when you submitted your resume. But, you supposed you could understand where they were coming from. They had been hurt and wanted to make sure they could trust you. Fair enough. "How can I prove myself?"

"Meow," Haerin spoke up.

You blinked, confused. "Um, excuse me?"

"She said she wants you to take off your pants," Minji provided.

"My...pants...?"

Had you heard her right? Surely you must have misheard. Yet you looked at each woman; the subtle glint in Minji's eyes, Hanni's lips curved in the hint of a smile, Dani's soft encouragement, and Haerin with her un-blinking feline gaze. There was no hint of this being a prank or a joke. They were serious. You felt your blood rush a bit quicker at that realization.

“It’s just a little request. You said you'd prove yourself, right?”

It was Dani's sweet voice that broke the tension. Her question leads you toward the answer she wanted to hear.

You felt heat rising to your cheeks. This was insane. Unhinged even. And no doubt not covered under any HR guidelines. You could get up and walk out that door. You'd probably lose your job but at least you'd keep your clothes on. Then again, you'd also prove you weren't someone who could be trusted. And, quietly, the idea of standing before them with fewer clothes stirred something inside of you.

Wordlessly you stood, your fingers moving to the button of your slacks as you undressed. It was hard not to feel a little self-conscious as you stripped down but you got on with it, eventually standing before them in just your boxers and shirt.

You could feel their eyes devouring you.

Hanni leaned over to Minji, whispering something in her ear. Dani continued to smile, while Haerin's expression remained unreadable.

"Is this good enough?"

"Meow."

You looked over at Minji for a translation.

"And your boxers."

"What?"

Your eyes widened. She was fucking with you, surely. You looked back to Haerin to see if that was a mistranslation. She, however, stared back at you, waiting for you to fulfill her request. Your cock twitched, another shiver running down your spine.

"Not now, dammit," you muttered at your cock but to no avail.

"Not now?" Hanni repeated, misunderstanding, "So, you don't want to work with us, oppa?"

"No, that's not what I meant --"

"I told you we couldn't trust him."

"Guys, just give him a second!"

You could only sit there as Minji, Danielle, and Hanni broke out into disagreement over your participation. Your gaze drifted towards the far end of the table where Haerin sat with her same stoic expression and feline gaze directed right at you. It was as if the chaos around her didn't matter, she was waiting for you to fulfill her request. It was hypnotizing and slowly you found your hands drifting towards the waistband of your boxers.

You swallowed thickly, hesitating for a moment. The bickering between the members was growing louder, but all of it seemed to fade into the background as Haerin's stoic gaze practically dared you to go just one step further.

This is insane, you thought. There was no HR manual in existence that could prepare you for this situation. And yet, you felt a dangerous thrill coursing through your veins. You were here, in a room with four of the most influential idols in the industry, and they had made it clear: you were either with them or against them.

"Oppa?" Dani's voice snapped you out of your trance. They had apparently caught on to your subtle movement and the discussion had briefly stalled. There was still a gentle sweetness to her voice but there was something else to her tone. Almost like a hopeful plea.

Hanni leaned back in her chair, her expression shifting to one of disappointment. "I think Minji is right, he can't do it."

You could feel the situation slipping through your fingers. If you didn’t act now, there’d be no recovery from this. You'd be out of a job and you'd have lost all their trust. For some reason, the latter felt more painful than the former. Without another word, you hooked your thumbs into the waistband and pushed your boxers down, stepping out of them with as much composure as you could muster.

The room went silent.

Dani's eyes flickered down, her mouth slightly agape in shock. Hanni let out a quiet giggle as she leaned forward onto her elbows, peering at your cock from over the table. Minji’s stoic facade cracked just a bit, a glint of approval in her eyes. But it was Haerin who captured your attention the most. Her gaze slowly roved over your exposed body, her expression unreadable. Then, she leaned back, finally breaking eye contact to glance at Minji.

“Meow,” she said again, her voice low and even softer than before.

“What’s she saying now?” you asked, your voice cracking slightly, betraying your nerves.

Minji leaned forward with her elbows on the table, her chin resting on her intertwined fingers. “She says you’ve passed the first test.”

"I knew you could do it, oppa!" Danielle cheered clasping her hands together.

“The...first test?” you repeated, your heart sinking as you realized what that implied.

"Did you think this was it? You wanted to prove your loyalty, didn’t you?”

You swallowed thickly, your eyes darting from Danielle's happy expression to Minji's business-like demeanor and Haerin's unreadable disposition. All the while Hanni's gaze seemed completely focused on your hard cock.

"Alright," you nodded, steeling your nerves a bit. You had come this far, how much worse could it get? "If that's what it'll take. I'm ready for whatever you have to put me through."

"Oh, can I do the next one? Please?"

It was Hanni who spoke up with a newfound excitement, breaking from her trance.

"We agreed it'd be Minji who handled it," Danielle whispered.

"So?"

Minji looked over at Hanni, one eyebrow raised, “Fine. Go ahead, Hanni. Just remember what we talked about.”

Hanni's face lit up at being given the green light. She quickly pushed her chair back, practically bouncing on her feet as she made her way over to you. The rest of the members leaned back, watching her with varied expressions — Dani with her usual supportive smile, Minji with a calculating gaze, and Haerin, as always, unreadable, though you thought you detected a flicker of interest in her eyes.

You tried to hold your ground, but it was hard not to feel a shiver of anticipation as Hanni stopped in front of you, her eyes sparkling with a mixture of mischief and something else you couldn’t quite place. The way she was looking at you made your skin tingle and your cock twitch. Despite the uncertainty of it all you still managed to be horny in the middle of it. It was a fact you tried to push aside lest your embarrassment get the best of you.

“Oppa,” she said, her voice sing-song and dripping with excitement, “you said you’re ready for whatever we put you through, right?”

You nodded, your throat dry. “That’s right.”

Hanni’s smile widened, and she reached up, her fingers brushing along your jawline in a surprisingly gentle touch. She tilted her head, almost as if she were examining you. “You’re really cute when you’re nervous,” she teased, her voice a whisper meant only for you.

She took a step back and, without breaking eye contact, dropped to her knees in front of you. Your breath hitched at the sight, the tingling anticipation intensifying tenfold. What was she planning?

“I’ve got a little game for us to play,” Hanni continued, her fingers tracing down the side of your thigh.

"A game?"

"Mhmm."

Dani giggled behind her hand, while Minji leaned forward slightly.

Hanni leaned closer, her hands now resting on your hips. You could feel the warmth of her breath against your skin, and it took everything in you not to shiver. She looked up at you through her lashes, her sweet smile taking on a devilish edge.

“You proved you can follow instructions already, but can you show self-restraint?"

Your heart pounded in your chest as you nodded. “I -- yes. I can."

“Let's find out,” she purred. Then, without breaking eye contact, she slowly dragged her nails down your thighs, the sensation sending a shiver through your entire body. “I want you to close your eyes and hold still. And no peeking!”

You hesitated for a brief moment, but the way she was looking at you made it impossible to refuse. With a deep breath, you let your eyes flutter shut, trusting her completely, even though you knew you were stepping into uncharted territory.

“Don’t move a muscle, oppa. Not unless I tell you to.”

You opened your mouth to confirm that you understood her instruction when you felt Hanni's fingers wrap around your engorged cock. You hissed, breathing in sharply and resisting the urge to arch into her touch. Had she lost her mind?! Then again, as much as you might've wanted to morally grandstand at that moment, the thoughts were quickly washed away by her other hands beginning to fondle your balls.

"You can do it!" Danielle said supportively.

She's right, you thought. You just had to focus. A simple handjob was nothing you couldn't handle. Hell, with your eyes closed you could just pretend it was no different than getting yourself off.

Just when you were beginning to feel confident about your chances, you felt something soft press against the sensitive head of your cock followed by something warm and wet. No, not something. It was Hanni's lips and mouth enveloping your cock while her hand held your shaft steady.

"Oh fuck..."

You let out a moan, doing your best to remain still, your toes curling in on themselves as Hanni sunk lower and lower onto your cock until you were hitting the back of her throat and even then she continued. You resisted the urge to tangle your hands in her hair as her nose came flush against your groin, swallowing your cock whole and deep-throating you for a long moment. What you wouldn't give to be able to open your eyes and look down to see the sight kneeling in front of you. To see Hanni Pham with your cock buried down her throat as she looked up at you with those pretty eyes.

"Go Pham Hanni!" Dani cheered on her group mate.

After a second longer, Hanni began to slowly pull off your cock, letting out a slurping sound before finally coming off it with a pop.

Unbeknownst to you she had a glazed-over look in her eyes, her gaze thick with lust.

"So far so good..."

She said, almost sounding distracted. You had a feeling she was enjoying this more than simply being a test but swallowed down the thought as you felt Hanni suck the tip into her mouth, her tongue grazing along the underside of your shaft. She licked down your shaft, taking your cock deeper into her mouth again as she started to move her head with short, quick bobs.

She relaxed her throat, taking you deeper, faster, and all you could do was curl your fingers into your palms and force your eyes shut with considerable effort. The rest of the room was noticeably quiet outside of the sounds of Hanni mouth-fucking herself on your cock and the occasional encouragement from Dani. Whether they were enjoying the show or simply watching with studious gazes, you hadn't the slightest clue. What you did know was the thought of them watching as Hanni swallowed you down greedily again and again had you aching between her lips.

Hanni came off your cock once more, her breathing ragged. "D-did he fail yet?"

"Not yet."

It was Minji who answered.

"Good."

Hanni gave a long lick over the thick vein on the underside of your cock, going from base to tip. You shivered but remained in place. Her tongue teased the slit at the tip of your cock, swirling around it before taking your length between her lips once again. Her hands braced herself against your thighs as she began bobbing her head in earnest.

"It feels good doesn't it?"

"You have no idea."

"I can tell. I bet you want to grab her head and fuck her mouth, don't you? You want to thrust your cock between those pretty lips until you finish."

You felt Hanni moan around your cock, sending reverberations along your shaft.

Minji continued, her hands folded neatly with her elbows propped up. "This is why we need this test. Self-control is crucial. There will be people who try to sway you—bribery, favoritism, or worse. They might offer money, promise promotions, or even tempt you with something... a bit like what Hanni’s doing right now.”

You felt Hanni's lips smile around your cock at that.

"Meow."

Danielle glanced at Haerin, then turned back to you with a reassuring smile. "Haerin's got a point. We just want to see if you can handle this. You get what we're asking, right, Manager-nim?"

Some part of your brain was recognizing the importance behind their words. The logic behind. Unfortunately, whatever part of your brain wasn't overloaded with pleasure sensors as Hanni played with your balls while continuing to suck your cock was too busy doing your best not to blow your hot load right down the singer's throat.

Your throat felt dry, and you're head was spinning. All you could do was nod quickly, forcing out the words, "Y-yes, I understand."

All the while your entire body trembled as you stood there, eyes clamped shut, hands balled into fists at your sides. You felt your toes curling against the cold floor, desperately trying to ground yourself as you fought to maintain your composure as Hanni continued to suck your cock. It was almost too much, and you could feel yourself reaching the breaking point.

“H-Hanni, please…” you managed to gasp out, your voice strained, but you bit your lip, trying to hold back a desperate plea. You knew better than to give in now. Not when you were this close.

"Meow."

Danielle's lips spread into a smile. "I think you're right, he's getting close. You've done so good holding back, manager-nim!"

Dani's praise fell on deaf ears. Your mind was gone at that point, focused only on holding onto whatever shred of control you had left for as long as possible. Amidst the pleasure and internal struggle you were experiencing there was a shuffling of feet and then silence, only filled by the lewd sounds of Hanni's lips around your aching length. You waited, every nerve in your body on edge. Finally, Hanni pulled off your cock with a long slurp and a pop, her hand still stroking you as she spoke up.

“Alright, oppa. You can open your eyes now.”

You exhaled sharply, almost in relief, and slowly let your eyelids flutter open. The sight that greeted you made your breath hitch.

Hanni was still there, her delicate fingers stroking your aching cock. Her lips were red and swollen with evidence of her efforts, a bit of saliva spilling at the side of her mouth. However, she was no longer alone. She was now joined by Danielle, Minji, and Haerin, all kneeling next to her on the floor, the four of them lined up in a row before you. It was a sight that felt like something out of a fever dream — four of the most sought-after idols in the world, on their knees before you, gazing up with expressions that ranged from sweet to stern.

“Oppa, you did so well!” Danielle was the first to speak, her voice filled with genuine warmth and excitement.

“You didn’t break. Even when we pushed you. You listened to us when it mattered the most,” Minji said.

Her tone was even but there was a hint of approval in her soft eyes. Haerin, as always, remained the most unreadable. But you took the fact that she was there kneeling next to the others as her approval.

"T-thanks, ah, this would be a lot easier if..."

"Oh!"

As if remembering the obvious the four girls leaning in close, looking up at you as Hanni stroked your cock faster.

"Manager-nim, you can cum right now."

The sultry words left her lips and that was all it took. The pressure valve was released and your cock twitched in her grasp, painting the faces of all four members with your seed. From your balls to the tip of your cock you felt it washing over you. A feeling so intense that you nearly blacked out from the experience.

As you regained your composure with deep breaths, you looked down at the sight before you. "Shit..."

And what a sight it was.

"Manager-nim, welcome to the family," Hanni said, wiping some of your cum off her face and licking it off her finger. "We'll be counting on you!"

"Meow!"

You could only chuckle, drained literally and metaphorically. "I look forward to working with you all."

#newjeans smut #hanni smut #hanni pham smut #kpop smut #male reader #shocked i actually finished a story for the first time in ages #newjeans imagines #girl group smut

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racew1nn3rs · 6 months ago

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─ 𝘚𝘌𝘊𝘙𝘌𝘛𝘚, 𝘚𝘌𝘊𝘙𝘌𝘛𝘚 🫀

max verstappen x singer!fem reader // smau

⤷ summary: when max verstappen starts commenting on the posts of the beloved singer y/n l/n, fans are confused and less than enthusiastic at the new friendship. what they could never expect is just how long they've been 'friends'...

based on this request <3

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liked by sabrinacarpenter, maxverstappen1, and 46,908 others

tagged sabrinacarpenter

ynusername my new album is now officially out on all platforms! thank you so so much for all of the love and support, and special thanks to sab for her feature on the song <33 love u bb girl 🫦🫦 now that the album's out, tour next!!! see you all soon!

23,560 comments

user1 THE ALBUM OUT. THIS IS NOT A DRILL PEOPLE THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

user2 i cannot be normal about this i fear

user3 ik her back hurts from CARRYING the music industry on her back 😩

user4 hey so WHO TF IS SO AMERICAN ABOUT?? A LOVE SONG

user5 y/n writing a love song in god's year of 2024... wow

user6 y/n in the top 10 charts, fork found in kitchen

user7 sabrina and y/n are never beating the gf allegations

ynusername damn right we're not 😏

user7 HOLY SHIR HOKY SHIT HOKST SHUT

user8 y/n's in love and it's not with me, hanging myself as we speak

user9 the comment is gonna get reported but so real op

user8 can't a woman hang herself in peace 😣

user10 album's such a banger i had this shit bumpin at my grandmas funeral 🙏🏼 rest in piece nancy 🕊️💪🏻

user11 OH MY GOD???

user12 rest in piece nancy you would've loved make you mine 😔

ynusername oh my god please tell me your joking

user10 sorry queen the grind never stops

ynusername NO SHOT

maxverstappen1 great album! 👍🏼

user13 why does he text like my father 🧍🏻‍♀️

user14 brother eughh

user15 what da hell is a polar bear doin in arlington texas

ynusername thank you max!!!

user16 y/n l/n to redbull in 2025

user17 hellurrrrr who is this man in ur likes y/n

user18 f1 driver!!

user17 Y/N NO ATHELETES PLEAEJEWK 🫵

user18 tour content soon??? i'm sat

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user19 bro looks like he snuck onto earth, get his ass outta here

user20 grammy-award winner, vogue cover model, new york university graduate and Some Fucking Guy

user21 not y'all coming to her defense like the mighty morphin power rangers 💀💀 he's literally a world class athete and she writes pop music

user20 17.172.224.47

user21 IS THAT MY IP ADDRESS??

user20 melinda charleton

user22 IS THAT HIS MOTHER'S NAME!!?1?1!

user20 you want me to do you too???

user22 no we good 😃

user23 ruth bader ginsberg did not die for this

user24 now wtf does this have to do with babe ruth 🤨

user25 WHOOOOO 😧

user24 ... that wasn't right was it

user26 now let's be fr he does NAWT have a chance

user27 have u seen the marble-carved goddesses these men pull, i fear he does 😔

user28 please no i feel ill

user29 TWO???? OH HELL NAW

user30 two might be pushing it, only one was confirmed

user31 jesus christ

user32 first taylor, now this

user33 yall, all he commented was great album 💀💀 yall are LEAPING to conclusions

user34 what can i say it's an art

user35 i do not see 👁️👄👁️

user36 no like 💀💀 im in your walls

user37 haha max verstappen!! right!!! (theres a sniper at ur location)

user38 omg ur so right 🤩 it is about him (i have a bomb strapped to my chest)

user39 i dont mean to sound stupid, idk who that man is, if i saw him on the streets i wouldnt know a thing 🥱

user40 this is so random too like what 😭

user41 the power of kindness won't work here, i have to throw him off a building

user42 i used to be a max verslsjjwwo lover 🤩 now im just a max verslsjjwwo hater 😔

user43 NURSE 🫵 SHE'S OUT AGAIN

user44 why would u put that into the universe 😧

user45 alright, lets get you to bed grandma

user46 mari stop being delusion and go touch grass 🧍🏻‍♀️

user47 ENOUGHHHH

user48 ain't no way in hell 😭

user49 ik ur feet hurt from all this jumping to conclusions babe

user50 lets leave the parkour to the athletes 😃

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liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris, and 54,789 others

ynusername italy thanks for letting me be inside you (; it was such a lovely show, expect me back asap!!!!

15,267 comments

user51 IT WAS SO GOOD I THNK I BLACKED OUT THE WHOLE TIME THO

user52 oh!

user51 oh so now this isn't a safe space

user53 LANDO AND MAX IN TGE LIKES??? NO NO NO NO

user54 ABORT ABORT ABORT

user55 y'all are doing too much 🙄 she's one of the top artists in the world, i think it's safe to say they might like her music

user56 the second picture 🧎🏻‍♀️do you need a stool cause i can kneel and be really quiet

user57 y/n fans be normal challenge (impossible!!!) (never done before)

user56 WOMP WOMP

maxverstappen1 wonderful show! 🙏🏼 you are so talented

ynusername ty max (: im glad you could come see me

user57 ain't NO WAYYYYYY

user59 THIS IS SIXKENJNG IM GONNA PUKE

sabrinacarpenter my gf looking sexy 🫦🫦🫦

ynusername only for u bbg 🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️🧎🏻‍♀️

user60 BOOOO 🗣️ GET A ROOM

user61 do y'all need a third!!!!

user62 mamma mia pizza pasta mozzerella moment

user63 i just put u on a watchlist

user62 🧍🏻‍♀️

landonorris RAHHHHHH 🦅🫵🗣️‼️

ynusername RAHHH RAHHH RAHHH RISE POWER POWER 💪🏻‼️

user63 what the fuck

user64 OH GOD WHAT IF SHES DATING HIM????

ynusername brother eughhhh

landonorris WHAT THE FUCK????

user65 SINCE WHEN IS SHE FRIENDS WITH F1 DRIVERS HOW MANY CHAPTWRS DID I MISS

user66 apparently we all went into a universal coma while she was out galavanting cause idk how else this could've happened

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maxverstappen1 posted to his story!

(caption: beautiful show)

22,456 replies

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user67 someone save my girl bro, she don't know any better 😭

user68 it's like a little kid trying to touch the hot stove, LIKE STOP THAT!! DON'T DO THAT

user69 am i the only one who thinks they'd be cute together....

user70 YES!?!?

user71 there is literally no fucking way he bagged her

user72 losing y/n to european f1 driver would be the biggest american tragedy since 2001

user73 i had to read this shit twice, op what r u waffling abt 🫵😧

user74 can't even be nonchalant about this one bro, i'm chalanting hard asf

user75 we do not care

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liked by redbullracing, f1, and 78,567 others

tagged maxverstappen1

ynusername first time in monaco, safe to say i enjoyed myself! so happy to see you shine this time my love<3

25,788 comments

user76 oh. my. fucking. god

user77 THEYRE FUCKING DATING OH MYFODNSJ

user78 THAT SHOULD BE MEEEE HOLDING YOUR HAND THAT SHOULD BE MEEE MAKING YOU LAUGHHH 🎤

user79 i'm in mourning

sabrinacarpenter CHEATER 🫵

ynusername BABY IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE, IT WAS JUST ONE TIME 😣😣😣 IT WAS A MISTAKE

maxverstappen1 we've been dating for 2 years??

sabrinacarpenter SHUT UP FAST & FURIOUS NO ONE ASKED YOU

user80 i'm sorry 😃 two Y EARS

user81 i feel like i just got dumped. y/n don't do this, the kids need you 😔

maxverstappen1 i got p1 for you, i love you 🫶🏼

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hope you all enjoyed! please let me know your thoughts and feel free to leave a request for me to write something for your fav <3

#f1 x female reader #f1 x reader #f1 x y/n #formula 1 #f1 #f1 smut #f1 x you #formula one #f1 imagine #f1 smau #max verstappen smau #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen #max verstappen x you #max verstappen x y/n

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kingkrillin · 5 days ago

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no one talks about how trans men have toxic masculinity enforced onto them by other members of the queer community and we're not allowed to be vulnerable or to need help and how that intersects with disability and mental health issues. I'm tired

there is very much this dynamic of-

trans man: I don't want to act strong. I don't feel strong. I don't want to protect because I feel that I need to be equally protected. I don't want to be put on the frontline when I've already been abused and no one came to my defense. I'm therefore not going to risk my safety.

queer community, obsessed with reinventing the gender binary: uuhhh but you're a man and that's like....your job....

and cis men in the community aren't treated like this tbh. it's centered very much on trans men. in fact we're often expected to protect cis queers on the basis of being men, like that case of the trans man who was killed defending lesbians from a bigot

you literally don't care about us you just want us to die for the cause and then when we do, you won't even acknowledge it happened

#sorry I don't usually use this tag because I keep my outrage to myself and just support other better-articulated posts #but I am genuinely so mad rn #transandrophobia

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luulapants · 2 years ago

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Existential despair is so common in a person's twenties, I think, because up until that point, we've had a pretty clear road map for what's expected of us and we haven't had much reason to question that map. There are still a few milestones outlined for us (start a career, get married, make babies) but more and more young people are entering the post-school world and realizing:

A) that career thing just isn't happening like they said it would

B) I'm not ready to get married/I don't want to get married/marriage isn't the sort of life-altering event that it used to be

C) I'm not ready to make babies/I don't want a baby/I can't afford to raise children right now (see point A)

And in the absence of these milestones to shoot for (which one could argue weren't the promise of fulfillment they claimed to be in the first place), what we're left with is this aimless abyss of "the rest of our lives" sprawling out ahead of us with no indication of how it will go or what we should be doing to shape it. Young people start their first jobs, find they hate them, and think to themselves, "Is this it? Am I just supposed to do this job until I'm too old to do it or die first?"

Which is, yeah, really fucking depressing!! So here's my best attempt at an alternate roadmap for young people that don't vibe with the old model. Please feel free to add in your own suggestions!

Learn how you work and what you want out of a job. Unless you've been in a job-specific training program that gives you hands-on experience, your first jobs should be experiments. Learn how a full-time job feels for you, what elements are more or less difficult. Different workplaces have different cultures and expectations - what do you need out of a job environment? Do you need to find fulfillment in your job or is it enough for it to pay the bills and leave you time to find outside fulfillment? Do you want to climb a corporate ladder or are you content to hunker down as long as your bills get paid? This period of experimentation is exhausting and may feel like it's consuming your whole life.

Learn how to make time for things outside of work. Adapting to a full-time work environment often leaves you feeling so drained that you can't do anything but go home and collapse on the couch every day. That's fine - for a little while. But it can also become a habit. You need to learn how to do things after work or you'll go crazy. Go to a trivia night. Start an exercise schedule. Take a class in your community. Find volunteer work. Join a band. You will find that putting more things into your day makes you feel like you have more time, not less.

Find a community. Making friends as an adult can feel impossible. Where do you find these mysterious friends everyone seems to have?? This goes along with #2, though. As you start regularly attending the same activities, you will find that repeat interactions with the same people turn into friendships or at least friendly acquaintances. Say yes to invitations. Get involved in your local community. Strive to be connected enough to bump into people at the grocery store.

Unlearn bad lessons. We all internalize some messed up things when we're growing up. As you start off your adult life, that's the time to actively work at unpacking the things you've brought with you from childhood and deciding which things are helping you and which things are harming you. This might mean therapy or joining a spiritual group or reading new things or just making special time to be in your own head.

Learn the lessons you missed. In this, I mostly mean practical things. "Adulting." Areas of your day-to-day practical life that are causing you extreme stress are probably related to a knowledge or experience gap. Do you hate cooking and cleaning or were you not taught how to do it properly? Are you afraid of making medical appointments or is it just something new you're not used to? Does money make you queasy or do you need to learn how to make a budget?

Find something fulfilling. This can be your job. It can be volunteer work. It can be faith. It can be a hobby. It can be creating things. It can be challenging yourself physically. It can be activism. It can be going for walks in nature. Everyone finds fulfillment in different places. If you're not finding it where you are, look somewhere else.

#adulting #advice

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lesbo-tuliplvrr · 5 days ago

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slumber party

bestfriend!abby x bestfriend!reader

summary: your best friend abby calls you up for a sleepover after having not spent time together in months.

clingy!abby, friends to lovers, college!abby, college!reader, fem!reader, y/n used once, medicalstudent!abby, fluff, minor angst but mostly it's one sided, no specific descriptions of reader other than them being shorter than abby and having their hair uncovered at night

wc: 3.2k

Abigail anderson. Your best friend since primary school. Your longest friendship. Your longest crush.

You hadn't always had a crush on Abby. Sure you loved her, but only really as a friend. That was, until junior year of highschool when her body had started noticeably changing. She started working out more, her biceps bulging through every tshirt. She had a growth spurt too, now almost towering over you. You yourself weren't that short but her stature made for a quite prominent difference.

You weren't usually shallow, But c'mon. Abby was already one of the best persons in your life; smart, caring, trustworthy. Turns out you only needed that little extra push to transform your platonic admiration for her into something else. This had been going on for 5 years and you had zero intention of ever letting her know.

It would just be way too risky, confessing something like that. What if she wanted to cut you off? What if she was disgusted by your feelings? What if being friends for so long bit you in the ass and she saw you more like a sister?!

And plus, dropping something like that on her when she was already swept up by her studies to become a doctor most of the time, would be horrible. You figured, you just had to let the feelings die. Of course it was taking much longer than expected, going onto the 6th year of having said crush, but it just had to be done.

So when Abby told you her dad would be out of town and that you should sleep over, you found yourself at a crossroads. You could go, and spend time with your best friend and it be a great night. Or you could go and be so incredibly uncomfortable hiding your feelings.

"Come on, we haven't had a slumber party in ages. I feel like we're always so busy we barely have any time for each other anymore. which is crazy for us!" Abby suggested as she spoke to you over the phone.

Yeah, totally not because I've been purposefully distancing myself to get rid of this festering crush.

You responded, "I mean , don't you have studying to do? I'll just distract you."

"Dont worry about me. Plus, you wouldn't distract me, you never do." She replied with her honey-like voice that would never cease to make you melt.

"We both know that's a lie but sure." You gave in. It was your best friend. Plus you really hadn't had time together in the past few months.

It was just a sleepover with Abby. All you had to do was act normal and it'd be fine. It's just Abby.

Abby answered the door when you arrived, immediately pulling you in a for a hug, stating how much she missed you and how long its been since you properly hung out, just the two of you.

"This place hasn't changed at all." you say, looking around at the familiar picture frames of her and her dad still plastered in their same spots on the walls.

"Yeah, we're both pretty busy all the time so," she trailed off. "You want anything to drink?" she asked, grabbing your overnight bag from you and heading to place it in her room.

"Nah, but I'll help myself, it's fine." you respond, following her into her room.

Her room has seen a few minor changes, none of which younwerent aware of though. It might have been years since you actually set foot into her bedroom, but you still saw it regularly. During your as frequent as possible facetime calls, you got to see through her camera the little changes she'd make to her walls. Even got to help in the decision process sometimes.

"It's been a while since you've been in here huh?" she asked, sitting on the edge of her bed, eyeing you as you peered at all her stuff.

"Yeah, cant believe how long it's been." you replied, distracted by the sheer amount of personality visible on her walls and desk.

Her college textbooks neatly tucked away on the side of her desk in a stack, near her pencil holder that held various shades of highlighters and pens. There were multiple pictures on the wall directly above her desk, along with many post it's of medical terms. Most of them were of her and her dad, or of her dog froma. few years ago, Alice. But right in the middle there were two of you and her. One from when you were much younger, closer to the time you first became friends and the other from your highschool graduation.

You made a mental note to take more pictures with her once you overcame your crush.

You looked around for a moment more, realising there was no mattress or anything on the ground. Sure, you slept on the same bed together before but that was when you were kids. Years ago.

"Soooo should I sleep on the couch or the ground?" you asked jokingly, secretly hoping she'd actually have an answer.

She laughed, "Oh come on, it might've been some time but we're not strangers." she joked with her beautiful smile.

Fuck.

You chuckled at this, hoping it seemed genuine and didn't expose the fear you felt of being so close to her for so long. Abby, however, noticed your shift in energy. Choosing not to say anything, she promptly changed the subject.

"Alright, what's for dinner?" she got up from the bed and led you both back out to the living room. Grabbing the TV remote, she put on one of her rnb playlists. "I was thinking we could cook something, chat and catch up for a bit then maybe watch a movie or something."

Gosh, she'd really thought this through. "Abby I hope that you don't have outstanding assignments due while you're doing all of this," you scolded her, already getting back into the groove of things.

She sighed, "Uugggghhh no, mom. I'll have you know that I am actually very ahead of my assignments. And even if I were behind, I'd still wanna be hanging with you tonight."

You looked at her with a raised eyebrow as she came around your frame to hug you from behind. You forgot how physically affectionate she was, and how much you missed it. You tried to not lean into it too much. The last thing you needed right now was to give yourself any false hope.

"I just- I really need this right now," she said with a sigh that made the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, dropping her head on your shoulder. You were so caught up in your own thoughts and feelings that you hadn't even stopped to think about how stressful school and everything must be for her. You turned your head slightly towards her, faces mere inches away from each other.

"I really need this right now and you're so fucking tense that I can't even give you a proper hug!" she stated, attacking you with tickles.

You screamed in laughter as she jammed her fingers into your sides, not giving up her mission to make you laugh. You tried running away but her grip on you was too strong, as expected of abby. Your attempts, however, did lead you to toppling over the couch, with her on top of you. She continued tickling you as you laughed, both smiling wide.

Through squeals and breaths you tried to reason it her, "Okay! Okay stop."

"There she is," she smiled, finally halting the tickles. You looked up at her, trying so very hard not to grab her by the collar and kiss her stupid.

She sat up, straddling your hips as you still lay on the couch, breathing heavily. You raised your head slightly, looking her directly in the eyes.

Gathering her breath, she started, "Okay. Now tell me, what's going on with you?" she asked, pushing her flyaways behind her ears.

Confused you asked, "Me?"

"Mhmm, you've been all distant and weird around me for quite some time." she supplied, hands resting on her thighs. her big, muscular thighs. snap out of it!

Shit, she noticed. "I-" you didn't know how to respond.

Worry evident on her face she continued, "Did I do something? Because if I did you gotta let me know, i- I've been so focused on school and-"

"No! no, n- it's not anything you've done. don't worry" you answered, "I guess I've just been feeling a bit...." you pulled something out your ass quickly, "lonely, lately."

Not entirely wrong. It was gonna have to work.

"I'm sorry." she replied, empathy clear on her face as she leaned forward to hold your arms. "But hey, I guess this came at the perfect time then huh? You won't be lonely tonight, I'll make sure of it. 'kay? Now let's go make something and you have to tell me everything that's been going on with you." she pat your thighs before coming off. Her weight would be a missed presence on your lap.

The music played at a comfortable volume as you two easily maneuver around the kitchen, cooking up a simple pasta dish. You talked about anything and everything, fully catching each other up on what the other had missed in their lives. In all your attempts at dodging her and keeping your distance, you'd forgotten why you two were best friends in the first place.

Abby was easy to talk to. She always knew how to cheer you up and how to comfort you. As did you to her. When you would hang out, there was always fun to ensue. Which is exactly why you fell in love with her. But as you were here, having chopped and prepared all the other ingredients and awaiting the water to boil, dancing and laughing around the kitchen hand in hand with Abby, you decided that just for tonight you could forget the complications that having a crush on Abby would cause and just lean into your best friend whom you missed so much.

When the meal was done, you both retreated to the couch where you sat closely next to each other in search of a movie to watch.

"I feel like nothing looks good," Abby stated, as she kept scrolling through the site.

"We could always hate watch something?" you suggested cheekliy, knowing that Abby was already not a big movie person and that it would be an utter waste of time for her to watch one that wasn't good.

"Ha ha very funny." she deadpanned, "What's that one you always wanted to watch when we were younger? Let's just watch that."

"Are you sure? Because you'll have to put up with me quoting almost the entire thing. And singing all of the songs." you weren't really asking seeing as she had already found the film, Tangled, and was ready to press play.

"I'll be fine pumpkin."

She hadn't called you that name in years. It was nice to hear it again.

As promised you quoted almost all of the movie, under your breath though, so as to not annoy Abby too much. It was more like a light whisper/lipsync. Unbeknownst to you, while you were thoroughly enjoying what was one of your favourite movies ever, Abby hadn't even been paying attention. She'd been looking at you for the majority of the film's runtime, only looking at the screen when you turned to look at her and found her not focused enough.

"You're missing important character development here Abby, he bought the apples for maximus!"

After the movie you both cleaned the dishes, then went to her room.

Another thing you forgot to consider in all your rumination, showering. You and Abby weren't the shower together type of best friends but it was definitely a 'not a big deal if we see each other naked' type of deal. So you'd often change into and out of clothes in front of each other with no problems. If the whole night so far wasn't gonna do it, this would be the fucking nail in the coffin. Abby, changing out of her clothes, right in front of you.

You didn't want to come off as suspicious by clearly turning away but you also didn't want to feel like a perv and look at her in her underwear, knowing full well that you wished it were under different circumstances. So you opted for casually directing your attention to somewhere else in the room as she stood naked a few feet in front of you.

"I guess I'll go in first," she annouced grabbing her towel and leaving the room.

You let out a breath you didn't realise you were holding as you quickly undressed and wrapped your towel around your body. You sat at the edge of her bed and waited for her to be done as you tried to calm your nerves.

It absolutely did not help your nerves when she stepped out of the bathroom and into her room, glistening from the shower. Muscles on full display, unbraided hair cascading down her back while some stuck to her face. She looked like a goddess. You quickly got up and headed into the shower, leaving her in her room to change.

It was like the more you decided to just let go of your feelings for Abby, the more she'd do things that made you fall for her all over again. You ended up taking way longer than usual in the bathroom, mustering up the courage to face her again while also trying to steady your heart rate.

Finally exiting the bathroom, changed and ready for bed, she closed the door, took off her bedroom light and hopped in right next to you. At first you both stayed silent, staring up at the ceiling, before she broke the silence.

"I'm really glad you were able to come," she expressed, turning on her side to face you.

You mimicked her position, scooting a little closer to the middle of the bed. "I'm glad I did."

You stared into each other's eyes for a moment, really taking the other in, before you spoke up again.

"You said you really needed this, what's going on with you?" you asked, poking a finger into her arm.

She looked down at where you touched her arm then back up into your eyes. Sighing with a smile, she responded, "School has been kinda stressful I guess, but to tell you the truth, I just missed you." She scooted closer to you, moving her hand from under her head to caressing yours.

No. She meant that as a friend of course. Do not get your hopes up again.

"You're tense again." she pointed out, hand still laying on your hair.

God, why was she so perceptive?!

"No I'm not?" you scoffed. Your deflection did not work on her.

"Yes you are. You've got that look in your eye again," she continued caressing your hair, "What's going on up there?"

You sat up, pulling away from her touch. She followed you in sitting upright on the bed.

You knew that lying about everything being fine would not work any better than it's been all day, so you figured you'd at least give her something.

"If I tell you, you might not want to hang around me anymore."

She looked at you incredulously. How could you ever think something like that? "Did you kill someone or something?" she teasingly suggested with a laugh, that being the only plausible situation in her head. She didn't miss how you looked at her, amusement absent on your face.

"Sorry, I just- no matter what it is, I won't stop being your friend y/n." she said seriously, one hand moving to touch your thigh.

"Please don't, because if I tell you and you really don't wanna be associated with me anymore it'll just hurt more." you barely got out, eyes becoming teary. You knew you were scared of something like this happening. Your increasing heartbeat and glassy eyes further proved just how terrified this made you.

If Abby wasn't worried before, she certainly was now. "Hey, I get to decide who stays in my circle and who doesn't okay?" She cradled your face.

You shook your head, still not giving into confession. "Everything's gonna change and I don't want it to so let's just forget it."

"If things have to change...then I'll just make sure it's for the better." How could she be so reassuring without even knowing what was going to be said? She held your chin, tilting your head to look at her.

With a sigh, you finally gave in, "I feel so much..love.....for you..since high school. And it's only gotten worse recently. I swear I've tried making it go away, I've tried so much. I don't wanna be a bad friend by springing this on you but i also know that trying and failing to hide it isnt doing me any favours either so.." Tears were streaming down your face, your sniffles becoming the most prominent sound in the room.

"And now because you know, things are never gonna be the same and I just wish I'd been better at hiding it. I wish I never had these feelings in the first place. Then this wouldn't be happening and I wouldn't have to lose my best friend right after we had so much fun together."

Abby was silent. Staring into your eyes, her expression unreadable. She looked down into her lap, a small smile growing on her lips, before looking back up at you.

She leaned forward till there was barely space in between the two of you. Abby glanced down at your lips then back up to your eyes, making it clear what she was referring to. "Can I?"

Your heart rate was through the roof. There's no way she wanted this too. "Are you not.. worried about how things are gonna be between us now?"

"I said I'd make sure the change was for the better, didn't I?"

"You can."

In what felt like zero time, Abby carefully crashed her lips onto yours. Her lips were soft, her touch gentle. It was exactly what you imagined this to be like.

Gently pulling away, she wiped your tears with her thumb, looking at you with so much love in her eyes you swore the rest of the world would now be void of it.

Through sniffles and smiles you apologized, "Sorry hah, I'm a mess."

"Did you really think I couldn't love you?" Abby asked, holding your face in her hands. "I've loved you before I even knew what love was, pumpkin."

Her efforts to wipe your tears were now fruitless, your eyes pouring out streams of emotion.

She pulled you in for a hug. This time, a proper one, without the weight of what could have been laying on your entire being. You shared one more kiss, Abby then kissing your forehead as you both lay down to finally sleep. A sleep void of worries and stress.

You were actually hers.

soooo sorry if that was basically 95% buildup for 5% payoff. I totally wrote this in a whim at late hours of the night. anyway, hope you enjoy. requests are open! to those whove requested, I am working on your stuff so have no fear :>

#abby anderson fluff #abby anderson #abby the last of us #abby x reader #abby tlou2 #lesbian #abby anderson x reader

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