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squiddy-god · 7 months ago

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Dorm leaders s/O bad period

This is another re upload, honestly, I think this is really funny because I just got off of my period and I wanted to die actually, because it was so bad

CW : period stuff, slightly suggestive joke on malleus and Leona, fluff, established relationship, at this point, they have all kind of tried to kill us, this is the least they can know. Kalim is the exception- no pronouns gn! Reader

Riddle

He saw the slight red stain and had 0 clue what it was so he just marches up and informs you you are breaking the rules by having a stain on your pants

Instant regret when he sees the pure panic in your eyes

He thought it was him until you explain

Instantly gives his uniform blazer and walks you to the mirrors so you can change at ram shackle

Apologises a lot for almost giving you a heart attack

Poor boy really had no clue

9/10 caused a heart attack but helped

Riddle us very concerned when he sees you puking and passing out from the intensity of your period

He just wants the best for you so he definitely has pain killers on hand

He's a bit stiff and awkward but he is definitely much more lenient during bad periods

9/10 awkward and stiff but a great help

Leona

He could smell the blood but thought nothing of it (🥺submissive and breadable?)

Then he saw you and the tell-tale red stain.

For all my slander he's a somewhat good boy, after all he dose immediately go help you

Drags you off and tells you discretely, before helping you to the dorm

This will happen much less with Leona because he can pretty much tell before you get your period

When he knows your about to start he stocks up on snacks

He knows how bad it gets for you so he's pretty much giveing you a free pass to laze about with him and sleep for a week

If you get cramps he has Ruggie get a heating pad lmao

10/10 pretty good honestly

Azul

At first he thought it was ink- no no don't laugh he's serious! He also sometimes had/has issues with this kind of thing as a kid and assumed that it was that

Immediately tells you about the "ink stain" and hands over his blazer to tie around your waist

The moment you say it's your period his mind is in overdrive

After this first incident azul is,,, prepared

Has spare pants on hand, marks down your cycle, and always has a spare pad/tampon pt.1

Most of the animal like boys will either smell or sense that it's about to happen, azul can just tell, but he also keeps track

This man 💀

Infinite cuddles, you feel awful and bad and in pain? Here lay down with him for a second while he holds a heat pad against your back and Coos at you

Best for snacks, has all the snacks

Also brews pain relief potions to mix with tea so you can relax

10918637/10 ask and you shall receive. the price? Kisses.

Kalim

No thoughts not a single thought when he sees the stain, he tells you because he's nice and your his s/O

Gos "oh" when you say it's your period. Then panics a bit

Definitely takes you back to scarabia and gets you a change of clothing

Kalim is very sweet to be around the entire time!

He loves you and will do literally anything just ask

It's comfy and warm in scarabia, he makes his bed into a pillowy blanket nest and feeds you fresh fruit and snacks

102884/10 holds your hair back when you puke

Vil

Immediately knows what happened and tells you right away

Gets you to the dorm and let's you change so you can feel comfortable

Vil could spot a stain from a mile away so chances are only he saw it

Pt 2 of has spare pants, marks down cycle, and always has products on hand.

Vil is nothing if not prepared for this!

Ok when it gets bad and you find it hard to stand and sit due to pain vil calls you over and lays you down on you stomach to rub your back

Magic hands

His back massages are god sent and blessed by the 7 stg they make the pain melt and your back jelly

Herbal tea and remedies of any kind are in hand

Looking miserable in the halls and about to throw up? Look no further just drink what he gives you and pain goes away

19377/10 magic hands and magic potions to treat you right

idia

Idia is better than one would expect

Chances are he either catches it before you leave his room or its ortho, who catches it in the halls

Either way, you will be informed immediately and taken to change.

Ortho always seems to have stuff on hand. What you need, whether it's some sort of pain relief or an extra pad ortho has it!

This is because idia made sure that if he couldn't handle it you would at least not be fighting alone

Lets you spend your time during this to sleep in his room and do "online school"

Don't mention this suspicious lack of work during this time

Totally not because idia did it for you so that you could rest

Idia has always got snacks and if you're craving something, he doesn't have then he will brave the outside world and go get some from the vending machine

9/10 flustered but a good boy none the less

Malleus

Smells it pt2 (submissive and breadable 🥺 pt2)

Malleus is instantly awhere of the situation and will quietly inform you before doing away with it using magic

Malleus can tell long before you that you are about to start and he's very good about telling you so you are prepared

If you do happen to bleed through he will hide it with magic before getting you a change of clothing

Who needs a heating pad when you have a dragon

Seriously, he's so warm. He just radiates body heat

You could honestly just snuggle up to him and it would be like having a hot water bottle

Definitely feeds you any snacks you want

The moment you feel nauseous sparkles of green light float around you and then boom, no more sickness

12/10 personal heater go brrrrrrr

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maybecoffeemixed · 1 year ago

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MAIN PLOT LINE OF DLC HAS BEEN FINISHED, SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT (long post, be warned)

7.8/10, kieran doesn't actually kill us.

Seriously though, I enjoyed it!! Since I don't actually own the game (we poor), I watched a no-commentary playthrough so there are plenty of things I very likely missed, including optional dialog, side-quests, and whatever that thing with the professors is (still lookin' for a video without some guy over it), so I can only comment on the bits I saw! That being said, here we go.

First of all, the BATTLES!! Despite not being able to play them myself, they looked SUPER fun!! I screamed when I saw Lacey's tailwind/lightscreen prankster whimsicott, and even MORE so when I saw it was sashed! I loved the usage of competitive items, and the fact that all their teams weren't completely mono-type, each having one exception to their type (Lacey's excadrill, Crispin's Exeggcutor, Amarys's Reuniclus, and Drayton's Sceptile) that they DIDN'T terrastalize was lovely touch!! Amarys's fight was super hype in particular, despite having an over 20 level advantage, the person I watched still nearly wiped to her! Her trick room AI does appear a bit goofy, but it's a small flaw. Finally, Kieran's battle... I personally adore a good rain team, but unfortunately Kieran's politoed was frozen at the start of the battle, and remained that way all the way til the end, so I can't honestly say how difficult it looked. The one thing I will say is that before the indigo disk was out, I created a hypothetical team for Kieran, and I CALLED that Grimmsnarl!! Literally even the focus sash. If anyone's curious, here was the hypothetical team I made. I'm a nuzlocker, not a competitive player, so it very well may be shit. Apologies in advance.

Next is the characters!! Every design slapped as always, and I enjoyed their personalities! Lacey was adorbs, Crispin was fun, and Amarys might just be one of my new favorites! As for Drayton? Let me tell you, I was side-eyeing him the whole time the MOMENT after he said THIS to Kieran.

After all the hype around dokutaro/peechikeen (now know as pecharunt, apparently), and all the speculation that Kieran would fall victim to its influence, him saying "that's just peachy" made my rat brain go into overdrive. In the end, I think it was just Legends Arceus giving me Volo flashbacks.

Now, the main event... KIERAN! Let me tell you, he gave me GOOSEBUMPS. Every time he appeared, I could feel a chill run up my spine, and his battle had my heart RACING. ESPECIALLY his breakdown at the end of it! One of the best times I've had in a good while. The animation, his reaction, all of it was GREAT!! It was so refreshing to see him not immediately heel-face turn.

Unfortunately, though, what happened after that all disappointed me. I admit I got too attached to the Dokutaro Posession theory, buy it was still disappointing for Dokutaro (I know that's not its name, leave me be) to not play any role in the main story. It felt like a natural conclusion to what the game was setting up, I thought he'd throw the master ball at terapagos, it'd fail, and he'd become so overwhelmed with everything that has happened that he'd succumb to Dokutaro's control and we'd have to fight the Dokutaro-Kieran with Terapagos's aid. That's not what happened, and I felt a bit sad. His recovery from his breakdown was still set up nicely and had some atleast sufficient justification, but it still felt like too-little too-soon. It felt more like he just gave up all together rather than defeated his demons. He'd never be as strong as the player, and that's that, which is a sour note to leave off on.

We see that he legitimately has nothing. All the other students left the MOMENT he was defeated. No one came to help the kid who was clearly having a panic attack. The BB league cares about him, sure, but I wouldn't consider them his friends. They all thought Kieran getting defeated would "fix" him, and even when he clearly wasn't any better after being defeated, they didn't do anything to assist him. Sure, sometimes when someone has climbed so high, you gotta let them fall, but once they do, you can't just leave them lying on the ground. You need to be there to lift them back up before they start digging.

This isn't an attack on the BB league at ALL. Like I said, I really enjoyed their characters! In fact, this reaction is part of the reason I like them so much. It adds depth.

I just wish that Kieran DID start digging, and that it led to something bigger. Even if Dokutaro wasn't involved, I atleast wanted the final battle with him to be that big thing, and not just a turtle that can't do anything but throw out weak earthpowers.

Though the biggest failing to me is that Kieran apologizes to us, but we don't apologize to him. We as in the player, and Carmine

Kieran's actions are his own and I'm not saying he shouldn't have apologized, but he wasn't solely culpable for how things turned out. We and Carmine purposefully lied, kept a secret that was dear to him, and were the straw that broke the camel's back. Even if we the player didn't apologize, Carmine should've!! Her treatment of Kieran heavily impacted him, and he mirrored her abuse (Kieran telling Carmine to "Shut it", just like she did to him, for example).

Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, was in the wrong here. Kieran took things too far, Carmine behavior is a serious problem, and the played character was complicit.

I'm not demonizing anyone here, I am the number one Carmine defender after all, but everyone needs to take responsibility. Not. Just. Kieran.

I relate heavily to both Kitakami siblings, as both an elder sister with younger siblings who she's accidentally mistreated, and as a little sister with an older sibling who treats me like I'm lesser.

I've lashed out at my older sibling, and while my reaction wasn't proportional, it doesn't mean my emotions weren't justified.

I have severe genetic anger issues (that I'm now thankfully medicated for), and have unjustly taken them out on my younger siblings.

Carmine needs to apologize too, or the cycle will just continue. Maybe she already did and I missed it, or maybe it happens in the post-game. However, if she didn't? It makes me feel unresolved.

Anyways, that all I gotta say on it!! Hope someone enjoyed this overly long rambling!!

(P.S. I still don't trust dragon boy. "Thats just peachy" my ASS, you know something ya toothpaste haired cunt. Why did they request to bring ya along to area zero anyways, ya plot relevant FUCK.)

#I actually really like Drayton I'd just also punt him off a cliff #pokemon #pokemon dlc #kieran #pokemon sv #the hidden treasure of area zero #kitakami siblings #the indigo disk spoilers #the indigo disk #pokemon spoilers #kieran pokemon #pokemon kieran #scarlet and violet #the teal mask spoilers #carmine pokemon #pokemon carmine

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lass-us-slay · 3 months ago

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Now imagine bee, now free of sub level 50, always feeling cold, freezing even. Nothing he ever does warms him up. Others grow concerned as he shivers in warm temperatures and becomes no longer functional in cold temps, simply because he's not used to it :((

Omg yes.

Like during their travels to find the matrix of leadership, B is shivering somewhat but it’s manageable because the suns out and is somewhat heating him up. Which is why he chooses to stay in the suns light while the rest decides to be in the shadows.

They’ve had enough of the heat from the mines ✋💀

But I would guess Elite, Orion and Dee dismiss the little clatters of B’s armor, writing it off as him being excited.

That is until they stop and rest, and with the sun gone, the cold settling in. B-127’s armor starts shivering more, which leads to B moving slightly further away from the group to not bother them.

And the next morning they ask, he shrugs saying idk, then they get to the cave with the primes.

Oh boy is B shivering.

The three other exchange glances cause that’s not normal. Yea it’s a little chilly but not freezing!

And then they get their cogs.

B can heat himself up from the inside now cause- transformation cogs allows that! :D

But it’s not enough.

His insides feel a little better with the internal heating, but that sh-t isn’t enough even on the highest setting.

I mean could anything beat the on holly levels of heat from that darn furnace room???

Unless he’s in a volcano? No.

But the internal heating makes B even more cold on the outside because he misses that warmth, that heat that was constantly melting his outsides AND insides from a how close to it he was.

And the first few hours of having the cogs is pure torture for B because now that he’s got some warmth, he needs more but can’t get it.

It was more bearable when he didn’t have any heating except the sun on his frame.

So he distracts himself from it by yapping a lot, more then usual about anything and everything, from the things he learned from the data pads to questions about the surface and Iacon.

And it works yk- even tho the high guard get a little worried when this yapping unconscious bot’s platting is shivering. But they don’t care they just want him to shut up-

But when Sentinel captures them?

Oh boy does that shivering sound so loud in the room.

Like at first Sentinel thinks it’s cause he’s scared, but then Arachnid reminds him it’s that guy that was sent to sub level 50

And Sentinel has this revelation and laughs

Cause he knew that room was a furnace, he just didn’t except the bot to get sent down to a literal smelter to still be alive.

And he’s impressed! But that doesn’t matter-

Anyways what I’m trying to say is, by the end Optimus goes to put a hand on B’s shoulder, and when he lifts it he has a full blown panic attack cause-

DID HE JUST DENT HIS SON FRIEND’S PLATTING?????!??? OH MY PRIMUS IF ITS THIS EASY TO HURT HIS SON FRIEND THEN CAN HE EVEN HUG OR SHOW PHYSICAL EFFECTION????? WHAT HAPPENS IF HE ACCIDENTALLY BUMPS INTO HIM?? WILL HE KILL HIS SON FRIEND??

IF HE CANT HAVE CUDDLES AND HAND HOKDING HE DONT WANT THE MATRIX

FRAG ITS PURPOSE AND IMPORTANCE HE WANTS TO SHOW PHYSICAL AFFECTION TO HIS LOVED ONES

IF HE NEEDS TO RIP THIS MATRIX PUT HIS CHASSIS TO BE ABLE TO HUG HIS SON AND FRIENDS THEN SO BE IT

#tf one elite 1 #tf one b 127 #tf one #tf one orion #tf one d 16 #tf one high guard #tf one furnace #tf one sentinel prime #tf one optimus #Sentinal knew he was sending B into a literal smelter..?#Optimus is a huge affectionative guy that loves hugs #Optimus: lemme hug u B #B-127: (platting molds like clay from the pressure)#Optimus and others: *panic*#B-127: *just happy the hug is somewhat heating up his platting even tho it’s uncomfortable*#cause Yk- moldable platting must feel uncomfortable

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rangergirl3 · 10 months ago

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The thing about gradually coming to terms with long-repressed traumatic memories is:

Well, you tend to make jokes that no one else finds funny, but it’s how you cope. Sort of.

Mostly to fend off the screaming in your head.

Which can work. Until you have enough faculties to deal with it, which I thankfully do.

Trauma mentions after the cut. Nothing graphic, just yucky.

I made the following joke upon realizing that there is 100% no way I should ever trust my biological father or mother within 100 miles of me or any kids I have.

Let’s just say that waking up sweating, and visceral panic attacks, intrusive flashbacks, and a literal textbook worth of gradual realizations are a real bitch to work with when it ends up that I also have survived: incest. Wish that was a mistype. But it’s not.

Ugh.

Just YUCK.

Although the stuff my mother would tell me as a kid (aka If you ever tell anyone about the stuff that happens at home the social workers will come and take away your siblings and you’ll NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN) really starts to make sense now. (She was a real mean piece of work too. Each of my parental figures really does deserve the other. It’s a match made in Hades. I wish them a very predictably miserable eternity together.)

At the time, I just figured she really hated anyone knowing we, I don’t know, were noisy and messy at times, like kids tend to be.

But instead, my mind was just doing this: Running from anything I felt I couldn’t control. Which was everything.

Thank goodness I have stable relationships now. I mean, it still is nasty to deal with all of the health consequences - past and present - and I’ve definitely begun an overhaul of the house, instead of just a typical spring cleaning. Something about just throwing myself into a mountain of tasks can help me feel a little less lost when the noise inside my head gets too loud. (As long as I make sure I get enough sleep, rest, and relaxation, too.)

But yes, that’s…well, the biggest reason I took so much time off of Tumblr. There were other memories I uncovered - to no one’s surprise, I witnessed a LOT of messed up stuff in my early life that just got stuffed under the rug - including two suicides of total strangers because I was in the wrong place at the wrong time- side note - Please Please Please LIVE. Each life is such an irreplaceable treasure. Please choose to live. Please.

So. That was a lot. I’m a little bit nervous posting this, mostly due to some very cruel anons that have interacted with me in the past, but I wanted to update you, my friends🥰, on what all’s been up these last several months.

Just as a reassurance: I’m safe. I’m truly very happy. And I’m not going anywhere. Except maybe the library. Every time I get another set of books, and cart them back home, my husband just looks up at me and laughs, because it’s not even surprising anymore. 😂

Also my kiddo has asked for a Belle dress as a future gift so that she can ‘look and act just like my mama!’ Which made me supremely delighted.

And now, I’m going to go bake some zucchini bread. And brainstorm my next book. 😎 Because I think some people could really benefit from hearing that people with a terribly painful backstory can still snort milk out through their nose in delight at a funny joke. It just takes some time to get to that point.

#Rangergirl update

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oddballwriter · 2 years ago

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EMH and MH guys with an s/o who has a severe irrational medical anxiety? Puts off doctors appointments, gets squeamish with imagery or media depicting medical facilities- If I ever had to go in for a major surgery it would be the end of the world. /lh Sitting in the waiting room to get my wisdom teeth taken, almost sent me into cardiac arrest. I am an adult, and I clung to my poor mother. I will cling to you. I just need..someone to give me a hug after a checkup and not find it stupid, man, like- please help,,hold my hand ; ;

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

Warnings: mentions of phobias and irrational fears, panic attacks, and therapy

Author’s Snip: I only did Tim, Brian, and Evan. I hope that's okay. If you wanted more then tell me who you wanted

I’ll shut up now. Enjoy! And don’t be afraid to request.

꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦

Tim

He gets it

In a way

He doesn't really like being in medical settings either. They remind him of when he was a kid and his mom and doctors were trying to find out what was happening with him (hc)

Tim can obviously manage it but he understands if you can't

He won't ask why you're scared, that's your business

He'll be there for you the entire time and help you calm down

He'll say "Nothing bad is going to happen", not in a "get over it" way, but in a reassuring way.

Nothing bad is going to happen. If it's a check up, they're just going to talk with you and look over whatever it is that they want to look over

If they actually need to do something, like a surgery or test, he knows it can be terrifying on it's own, but you are literally going to be in a room where everyone in there is legally required to know what they are doing and even have a paper that they can only get if they know what they are doing

Tim will drive you to the appointment himself if it helps you commit more

Brian

When you first tell him he laughs and then profusely apologizes when he realizes that you are scared in the way that people usually are

He sort of knows what to do but also doesn't

Tim is really his only example of someone who has some sort of issues with hospital settings. But like I mentioned Tim still goes through with it even if he feels uncomfortable in the atmosphere

He sort of just encourages you to be brave

He won't tell you to suck it up or that you're being dramatic. You have an actually fear, maybe even a full on phobia, so he won't dismiss your feelings at all

Brian will take you to your appointments and even be in there with you in the doctor's office

He doesn't mind sitting there and waiting as you have the check up so long as you are okay with him being there and it helps you be more calm

Evan

It's the same start out with Brian except it doesn't get properly put into his head until you actually have a moment where you canceled because you were too scared, or worse, actually have a panic attack

By then, he's apologized over and over about underplaying your fear

He tries his best to help you by either reassuring that you will be fine and that you are in a room with people who know what they are doing

He tries his best to be there for you

Suggests that you maybe talk to a therapist or someone like that to help you with your fear. Maybe you learned to be that way or something happened. He doesn't know.

What he does know is that you have a fear that could get in the way of a regular life depending on if you have any conditions that need to be checked on, so you really wants you to go see someone so that you're able to control it

#everymanhybrid #marble hornets #marble hornets x reader #everymanhybrid x reader #slenderverse #slenderverse x reader

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thedoodlersdomain · 2 years ago

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So, i’m only now just watching ep 26 because I lost motivation to listen for a but BUT IM BACK AND HOLY SHIT. So here’s some live reactions to it:

Bit the inside or my lip while eating from laughing at the mental image of Link trying to do a pull up on the shower curtain and just tanking it

Normal is either gonna rock the style at 24 or it’s gonna look absolutely horrific-

THE BOOING FOR SCARY’S INTRO

I gotta hear the Butthole Ricochet album

Real organ dice would be fucking dope as hell

Ngl I genuinely wanna sign up for organ donation just to get those dice

SELL AN ORGAN FOR THE DICE (honestly i would)

Literally just finished ep 25 before starting this and i’m still in shock about what happened.

The mental image of Willy getting the shit beat out of him is so nice.

I DIDNT EVEN THINK ABOUT HERMIE NO MY BOY

You get a mech suit, you get a mech suit, EVERYONE GETS A MECH SUIT. (Except for May)

oh shit may has magic hell yeah

God if I was frozen in place for two months I genuinely would never recover my fucking body would just stop i would never recover from that pain

gotta shake your head yes and nod it no

grant ;-;-;-;-; someone please get the li-wilson boys therapy

father-son bonding: panic attack pacing

Well now I relate to Taylor more because the feeling of having your braces tightened enough to make you lisp is too real for me that shit hurts so much

Taylor getting his life lessons from anime is literally me as a kid

ANIME ISNT REAL THIS REMINDS ME SO MUCH OF UNDYNE AND ALPHYS IN UNDERTALE

Link now canonically has selective mutism in my mind and no one can convince me otherwise

Does Scary even know where the anchors are though because I thought it was only Normal that knew?

“Anyone can walk back from the darkness.” Ayo Will how can you just say these things and not expect me to be IN PAIN

WAIT TERRY NO OH MY GOD I DIDNT EVEN THINK ABOUT HIM KNOWING ABOUT HOLY SHIT

Fucking goof dimension-

THE FART PORTAL

Lark is a mood as always

Sparrow ;-;-;

oh damn Normal-

NOT THE PROBABLY

Aaaaaand end of podcast lmao

Taylor is so fucking extra and I love it so much

ROLL FOR OBNOXIOUSNESS

RUN BITCH RUN

oh shit initiative time

Taylor has 1000% been dreaming of having a break down like that

ethnicity-

Give the white guy the nat 20

FUCKING ICE CLIMBERS IM WHEEZING

LARK ‘THE IMPORTANT ONE’ GARCIA OAK

OOOO ITEM LETS GO

oh shit OH SHIT Y E S

psychologically devastation: the best attack type

Lark has zoomies now

o u c h

LINK AHHHHHHHH

the li-wilson boys need therapy ;-;

oh damn

OH DAMN NO GRANT NO WHY

from nat 1 to nat 20 big up Taylor

OF COURSE HES GONNA NARUTO RUN

yup totally planned difficult terrain

Taylor & Hermie have the best dynamic (still gives me whiplash to know he’s taylor’s uncle)

All hail the whale

MAGIC USER SPARROW

fucking soy boy-

ah yes a kids movie where adults kidnap children

NOT THE EXTRA SOUND EFFECTS

irl dm murder too test the accuracy of an attack is the real dnd life

rip terry ;-;-;-;-;

THE FUCKING CONTENT WARNING

D O M I N O E S

no take backsies

THE PARABLE OF THE ITSY BITSY SPIDER

“anythings a parable if you take the wrong message from it” honestly Anthony do be speaking truth

i’m now evaluating the mental image I had of the whale because for some reason I really have been picturing just like a tiny pokémon sized whale in like a little cuboid fish tank and it’s taken this long for me to be like “oh wait. they said a whale and meant an actual whole ass whale. what the fuck-“

the whale of conflict creation

THE NINJA ROCKS HOLY FUXK (might start caring around ninja rocks in case i ever need to break a whale out of a tank to escape parents trying to stop me from stealing an amplifier with magic)

this entire plan was nearly all for nothing-

i need this episode animated in like a proper tom & jerry style cartoon episode

NATTY 20 HOLY SHIT

this is such a dumb episode i love it

Hermie really said ride or die

Rip the whale

HERMIE NOOOO ;-;-;-;-;

GRIPPY SOCKS

OH SHIT SCARY AND WILLY ARE GOING BIG BROTHER MODE

insight into the mind of taylor swift

BB banana skin marbles gag

ayo is Lark gonna drown-

hermie and taylor drown everyone challenge

LARK’S UNCONSCIOUS IN THE WATER HE’S GONNA DROWN

this episode is so dumb i’m wheezing

GLENN COMING IN FOR THE CLUTCH YES

sparrow please save your brother-

GRANT GOT KNOCKED UP I- what in the DC Joker

LINK JUST HIT PUBERTY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HIS VOICE FUXKING DROPPED WHAT THE FUCK

i love hermie so much ;-;

THE NO-BETRAYERS CLUB i need merch

link ;-;

oh god what’s gonna happen

somethings gonna happen

JUST TWO CASUAL PEOPLE

OH SHIT WILLY NO

O H M Y. G O D.

TAYLOR

#dndads #dungeons and daddies #dndaddies #ep 26 #live reaction #rambles

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whentranslatorscry · 2 years ago

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Hitagi Honeymoon

008

The next day would greet us with clear, blue skies— except in my hometown. As an aside, the weather in Washington, D.C., where I currently have a foothold, also seemed to be quite pleasant.

What a convenient age we live in, being able to confirm the conditions of various localities through weather cameras online. Presently, at least, there was no rain in Tochigi Prefecture; there were no approaching typhoons, no signs of tornadoes.

It seemed that the ominous prediction— or should I say, the gracious advice— of the Eleventh Witch Oikura, was not an immediate cause for concern.

However, a low probability of rain is not necessarily the bare minimum condition for activities such as glamping or car camping. After all, we weren't going to be roughing it outside with no shelter, so we wouldn't need to cancel our honeymoon trip unless there was torrential rain, relentless snowfall (in summer), or anything equally pressing— that is, if stargazing wasn't the main event.

When stargazing is concerned, the problem isn't just rain; even a hint of cloudiness would be enough to render our plans null and void.

It had been quite some time since I had last gone stargazing. In fact, the only time I could recall doing so was the starry date with Senjougahara Hitagi. And even that had been a sort of surprise attack. I had completely forgotten that, when it comes to the conditions of the sky, one can only truly leave it up to fate. While we can try to predict whether it will rain or not by resorting to long-term weather forecasts, the matter of whether the sky will be clouded over is still, quite literally, up in the air.

“Don’t worry, I knew all that beforehand— that's what makes it an authentic experience of stargazing, including the looming uncertainty. To enjoy such thrilling moments, knowing that it could all turn out to be a wild centipede chase, is what makes a visit to the land of the giant centipede even more compelling.”

“That’s not what the giant centipede is about.”

“Even if it happens to be cloudy or rainy, there's nothing to worry about, really. It's not like we're in New Zealand; we can always make a return trip within our country whenever we please.”

That's how Hitagi comforted me as I fumbled around in a flustered panic.

It was something an astronomy enthusiast would already know, after all.

“Family is about repeating the cycle over and over again, getting another chance to make things right no matter what. That is what makes a family.”

Yeah, that was a good point.

Although I was happy to inadvertently learn that little bit about Hitagi's notion of family— and it became even more poignant when I thought of what her family had overcome— at the same time, I couldn't help but be painfully aware of my own shortcomings. No matter how well I'd thought to prepare for this trip, meticulously assembling the itinerary and drafting the roadmap, the harsh reality was that I still couldn't shake my lackadaisical, go-with-the-flow personality even at the age of twenty-four.

It's better to feel pain than nothing at all, right?

If, on our honeymoon, we went stargazing only to be met with impenetrable cloudy skies or rain so heavy that we couldn't even open our eyes, at least we could laugh about it later. Of course, it's always best if the sun is shining.

The uncertain future looms ahead.

“But what I'm most happy about is finally being able to meet Shinobu, after all this time. My dream has come true. I've missed so many opportunities to meet her, ever since that close call at the abandoned cram school. I was starting to doubt if she was even real, or just a girl from your imagination.”

Wouldn’t that be great.

It was a big deal to be suspected of such a thing, but at any rate, Shinobu, a very non-imaginary girl, was shy, so the process of persuasion— or rather, convincing her— proved to be quite difficult.

Even with my blood-related family like Karen and Tsukihi, she had managed to keep her secrets, so she argued that it wouldn't be a problem to keep the same secret from Hitagi (quite a sound argument). It was a pretty tough task to break down her reasoning. The former Fire Sisters had not known about aberrations, let alone the existence of vampires, but for Hitagi, aberrations were already an open secret; there was no reason to keep hiding them. Eventually, I managed to convince her through reasoned arguments.

Even so, if it had been old Shinobu, she would have probably withdrawn into the shadows like the elusive Sun Goddess herself. Nonetheless, she not only chose to reveal herself in this candid manner but even declared that she would accompany us on our honeymoon. Maybe she, too, was changing in some ways.

Admittedly, I failed to persuade Oikura to join us on this trip (truth be told, I genuinely wished she would have come even though I knew she wouldn’t). But, regardless, our quartet's journey to Tochigi has taken shape, with the Nasu Highlands as our destination. It's not exactly ideal, but we can only hope that at least in the open field of Senjougahara, it will be sunny.

When it comes to family outings, the time it takes to get everyone out the door can feel excruciatingly long. So long, in fact, that the hapless sort who forgets to check the weekly weather forecast might be tempted to just hurry up and leave, regardless of how well-prepared they are. But as much as I didn't want to keep everybody waiting, there was still one more thing I had to take care of while we were in town.

Before heading to the rendezvous at Kanbaru’s house, I needed to pay a visit to the very place where Hitagi and I had held our wedding just a few days prior— North Shirahebi Shrine.

There hadn’t been any remarks from Oikura about it, but it suddenly hit me while I was chatting on the phone with my childhood friend. Having held our wedding at that fateful shrine and pledging our eternal love, would it really be permissible for us to visit a shrine of marriage in another prefecture, even if it was a World Heritage site? It was a question that crossed my mind, right at the brink, due to my skeptical nature.

This was something Hanekawa had taught me when I had been studying for exams: praying too much for success at multiple shrines and temples might cause the gods to quarrel amongst themselves, so it's better to focus on just one. Now that I think about it, that advice might have been a subtle criticism of my usual carefree attitude rather than being a mere tip about praying for success. Well, besides, an attitude of indiscriminately relying on divine intervention might not be all that praiseworthy and it’s maybe better not to indulge in it.

That said, I couldn't help but feel that it would be a little excessive to go out of my way to respectfully avoid places like Nikko Toshogu Shrine and Futarasan Shrine, which we had already incorporated into our roadmap. Hence, I decided to settle the matter by informing the somewhat temperamental god of North Shirahebi Shrine about our plans before leaving.

When I had visited the shrine one early morning during high school, I had experienced a bizarre encounter with a huge sword supposedly slicing me into pieces. It felt like an appropriate time to overcome that trauma.

“What a surprise! If it isn't the newlywed Sakuragi Koyomi-san.”

“Although I'm honored, don't compare me to the recently made-into-a-film red-haired basketball genius. My name is Araragi.”

“Sorry, I stuttered.”

“No, you did it on purpose.”

“I stubbed.”

“It wasn’t on purpose?!”

“I slam-dunked.”

“Are you talking about the manga?”

“I read it back in the day without paying too much attention, but having Sakuragi, Akagi, and Miyagi all on the same team, don’t you think their surnames are quite the curious coincidence?”

“Don’t criticize an epic manga like that.”

Speaking of Akagi, the protagonist does have red hair… that, in a way, might actually make it more realistic.

“Real is also a basketball manga, isn't it?” remarked Hachikuji Mayoi, the shrine's resident deity, displaying her keen insight.

Although I'd like to introduce her as the same Hachikuji as ever, she appeared in her adult form in the shrine maiden outfit, just like when I saw her at my wedding. To me now, she appears to be of a similar age, but why? Isn't she supposed to be a lost eleven-year-old fifth-grader god?

“Didn’t we explain it at the wedding? From the moment I first met you, Araragi-san, time has continued to flow without interruption, public opinion kept being updated, and it was concluded that it's not desirable from a compliance standpoint to have a grown man and a school girl with a backpack in the same frame. So, this is how my character design was changed.”

“Is compliance stronger than even divine power?”

“Child labor isn't a good thing either, so we changed how I look, even if just visually. My essence is still that of a fifth-grader.”

While that could be a difficult setting in itself, I suppose it's true for everyone. We may have matured in appearance, but inside we remain fifth graders.

Since turning twenty-four, my character had not changed much from when I was a high school senior. I couldn’t plan a trip properly and I genuinely enjoyed the Slam Dunk movie.

“Yes, it was just a bit confusing with Sakuragi and Akagi.”

“That does feel like an adult perspective, but when it comes to last names, there's quite a bit to think about in recent times. It's the perfect topic. Would you listen, Hachikuji?”

Since we had a meeting time and couldn’t spend too long in conversation, I got straight to the point. This, too, might be the mark of being an adult. When I was a high schooler and Hachikuji a fifth grader, we would have spend three hours just talking about Slam Dunk. We would get carried away with Rukawa’s story.

And now, as I transitioned into describing the ever-flowing theme of honeymoon, I couldn’t help but feel a certain melancholy. The days of being able to control time, back when it seemed impossibly long, had slipped through my fingers.

“I see. So, you're going to Mount Akagi.”

“Listen. To me. Properly.”

“Mount Nantai, then? I can't really discourage you from going there, I guess.”

She may have had a complicated sentiment as a god, as Hachikuji had been living in such an unknown mountain. But she was a novice deity, and she takes pride in having protected the town from an infectious disease, even leading the virus astray. She’s done some pretty scary things, when you think about it.

“Personally, I think if you’re going to introduce Shinobu-san to Senjougahara-san— pardon, it was the missus.”

“The missus? Are you also taking the stance of Lieutenant Columbo?”

“If you're going to introduce Shinobu-san to Mrs. Araragi, I'd really like you to introduce me as well, and soon.”

“But didn't you more or less meet the other day at the wedding?”

“She can’t see me at all. That means she’s completely devoid of doubt. It seems she’s gone through a lot, but maybe, she’s never lost sight of her home.”

“Her home.”

“Or her family.”

That made me wonder if I had always been just floating aimlessly— from the day I first met Hachikuji Mayoi, the day I had that fight with my sisters and up until today when I was leaving for my honeymoon.

“If you were to remove your doubts, there would be nothing left of you, Araragi-san.”

“Spoken by you, it sounds like it’s over for me, like a divine prophecy. Well, honestly, it would be a sad story if my doubts were gone and I couldn’t see you anymore. From morning until night, I want to gaze upon you only.”

“Even the adult version of me?”

“I wouldn't be deceived by appearances, you see.”

“That means you see a fifth-grader in the adult me as well.”

Though the image of a high school senior and a fifth-grade girl messing around together may indeed not be modern, the reason for such a bond could be the length of our relationship, and how we've grown to have such conversations— sitting side by side at the shrine.

I wouldn't want to lose this. This sense of who I am.

“It may be for the best that doubts, like feeling lost, stay hidden. But it seems that you continue to be lost, both at home and abroad, so this ill-fated bond may persist for a while longer. I said it myself but I must admit, ‘ill-fated bond’ is quite the phrase.”

“Fateful alone would already be exceptional, but this is a persistent illness, It almost seems like I'm about to become unfaithful.”¹

“There's danger in using the word ‘unfaithful’ as a newlywed. In your case though, you’ve been unified with Shinobu-san for a long time, and so, regardless of your doubts, you might be able to see me. Being a member of the Hearsay Department makes you almost an expert, I’d presume.”

“Mhm. I hope that’s the case. It’s undeniably true that I’m feeling lost at the moment. You could say I'm wandering aimlessly— as ever. I’ve had a wedding, and we’re legally married, of course. The honeymoon we're about to go on could also be called a product of this hesitation.”

“It’s admirable that you’re pondering over a surname so much, Araragi-san. After all, names are very important.”

“Really? You say that after you just called me Sakuragi-san? And for that matter, all eighteen years of mispronouncing my name?”

“I've over-chewed it, and my jaw is growing tired.”

“Don't go chewing someone's name like it's gum.”

“I've brought it up a few times before, but when my parents divorced and my last name changed, I was bothered too. I was really fond of the name Tsunade, you see.”

“Yeah. It may sound strange to say, to me, you’ve always been Hachikuji, so now the name Tsunade feels new.”

Tsunade Mayoi.

Maybe for a snail, that might be more fitting.

“Well then, why don't you become Araragi Mayoi at this point?”

“Isn't that being too wishy-washy for the Araragi family? Are you trying to create a legitimate Araragi Harem?”

“Although there has never been such a dubious organization, now the mere thought of one is incredibly exhausting. It feels like there wouldn't be a single fun thing about Araragi Harem.”

“It’s so sad seeing you withered away completely… I can't bear to look at you, Araragi-san. I feel like saying I hate you. Please don't talk to me.”

Being told this by her adult version carried a different weight. On the other hand, the memory of a full-blown fistfight with a fifth-grader was far from becoming for a police officer.

“I'd like to bury you just to erase that memory.”

“What on earth are you saying in these harrowed grounds? Anyway, the idea of adopting Shinobu-san far outstrips the former Araragi-san.”

“So I thought I'd adopt you as well at this point, but it just doesn't work out.”

“Please, don’t create a project like a philanthropic attempt to adopt orphans from all around. No, you may create such projects, but… In your case, Araragi-san, the impression that you are indiscriminately collecting these orphans isn't a good one.”

In any case, adopting an adult version of Hachikuji as my child had a completely different sense of criminality than adopting a fifth-grade girl.

“If anything, I’d rather become your adopted son, Hachikuji. Hachikuji Koyomi— doesn't it sound dated and cool?”

“It certainly slides smoothly like the Iroha slope. There's a miraculous appeal to it… but what's a vampire to do by joining the ranks of god's retinue?”

“What’s more,” Hachikuji said while looking at my shadow that had fallen within the shrine grounds. “What does Shinobu-san think about it? I doubt that she’s very keen on the idea of meeting your wife, let alone becoming an adopted child to you.”

“Should we just ask her? Would have to wake her up, though.”

Since the early hours of a human morning were the late hours of a vampire night, Shinobu was currently fast asleep inside my shadow.

“You could say she’s sleeping bloody amd dead, completely exhausted from our debate.”

“There’s a debate going on? What do you mean, sleeping bloody and dead— is that some kind of vampire slang?”

“It's ‘cause we're family that we fight like that, you know.”

“Oh, you sound like you know what you’re talking about, coming from a dysfunctional family.”

“Who’s from a dysfunctional family?”

Actually, me.

Now, I may be slightly exaggerating with my words, but it was true that, especially during my first and second years in high school, the Araragi family had a tendency to lose its functionality as a family.

The sixteen-year-old Araragi could barely imagine a future where he could enjoy a carefree dinner with his sister— let alone one where she works the same job. I fell on hard times in high school, I had no expectations from my parents, and I had fallen out with my sisters. On graduation— or dropping out— I planned to move out of the house immediately.

It was a mess, pretty much.

“A mess, huh.”

“And it's not like we're functioning even now. My parents have both been dispatched to Tokyo, I’ve based myself abroad, and my other sister is nowhere to be found. The family's dysfunction is barely being maintained.”

“Please don’t maintain it.”

As I pondered repeatedly, Karen, the most untamed and liberated person I know, was beyond my imagination, protecting our home all alone.

“And that's precisely why I want the home I build to be filled with warmth and ceaseless laughter. Is that too much to ask?”

“A home filled with laughter? It's undoubtedly better than one filled with ceaseless abuse.”

“Don't even try to joke about that. You can't compare laughter with abuse.”

“In all seriousness, though, I'm rooting for you. Make sure that nothing like the cycle of abuse continues. Here's to proving wrong the ridiculous notion that children raised in dysfunctional families can't build healthy homes. Show them what you're made of.”

“I never thought I grew up in a dysfunctional family, but that's probably what it was.”

If anything, it might be that this reflects Hitagi's unwavering resolve. It wasn't about function or dysfunction, her family had already crumbled once before. And even as a single-parent household afterward, they were far from well-balanced or stable— there was a time when Hitagi was losing weight and had to continuously visit the hospital.

So, the idea of building a new family must have been a great leap that she resolutely took. It was for these reasons, her view of what makes a family, that I wanted to respect and support her.

If we really wanted to, we could have chosen to move in together, have a common-law marriage, or live together without changing our names to leave an escape route should things turn sour. But maybe she wanted to cut off any chance of escape entirely.

It wasn't like I was completely devoid of such sentiment while deciding to marry, after all this time of being together since Mother's Day during our third year of high school.

I can’t be a student forever.

“I still see you as a student of sorts, going to the FBI Academy and all.”

“When you put it that way, I can't really deny it…”

“Still, once you and the missus start sharing your life together, it's clear that you can't just leave Shinobu-san as she is.”

“Isn’t there any other way to call her? It's a bit confusing for a goddess to call her missus.”²

“Should we call her your spouse?'”

“Weird how wife doesn't seem appropriate, but spouse does.”

“Your wife knew about Shinobu-san and accepted her proposal with that knowledge, so I think there must be some understanding between them.”

“Yeah, she looks enthusiastic. Even said she was looking forward to meeting her today.”

“And she approved of the adoption too?”

“I have that prepared as a surprise for our honeymoon.”

“Sounds like a recipe for divorce.”

Hachikuji showed a concerned look.

With her adult version, it didn’t feel like a joke, there was a serious impression.

She really was a talented actress.

“I'm just dumbfounded. Making big life-changing decisions in some surprise. Regardless of whether or not it’s Shinobu-san, adoption is a major step that will steer the direction of your married life. Are you planning to push through with such a monumental decision just because of the starry, romantic atmosphere?”

“Maybe I should mention it beforehand?”

“It's not a ‘maybe,’ it's a must. If you don't bring it up beforehand, you'd do better not saying anything at all.”

Oh, such grown-up advice.

If she were still in fifth grade, she would've most probably gone along with the mischief and agreed enthusiastically, “Yeah, let's surprise her!” But being chastised seriously, she did make a point.

This wasn’t a conversation to have under a starry sky, and besides, it might be cloudy anyway.

“But… as long as you’re considerate of your wife's feelings, I do believe that adopting Shinobu-san into the Araragi family would be the best course of action.”

“As a friend?”

“A god.”

Quite the grand scale we're talking about here.

I made things that way, I suppose.

“I've been training with Gaen-san, so I've learned a thing or two about sealing away powerful aberrations simply by knowing their names. Shinobu-san was sealed away by Oshino-san more than six years ago, and yet, Oshino-san himself has been away from this town for a long time. The seal grows weaker.”

“It does?”

That's certainly not a comforting thought.

In other words, it suggested the potential revival of Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heart-Under-Blade, the iron-blooded, hot-blooded, cold-blooded vampire— an event that a god could not overlook.

I hadn't considered this possibility. Not considering it felt practically like inviting risk.

“If anything, it's a miracle that Shinobu-san stayed restrained with Oshino-san’s name, the wandering specialist. If she were a Killing Stone, she would've broken free long ago.”

I’m not overly keen on singing his praises, but it's impossible not to recognize that Oshino was a remarkable specialist— it would be off the mark for an amateurish FBI agent to think that Shinobu's seal would break if the current situation was left unchanged, and it may be nothing more than a novice deity’s unfounded fretting.

I didn’t expect it to last for one or two centuries, but it could very well endure until Oshino’s death. In any case, I believe that time has come. Rather than allowing the seal to continue under the name of a random old man, it was only right that she was sealed under my name, both as the responsible party and her guardian.

“Well, yeah, there's no denying he was also a participant in that hell. Even if we leave out the name Oshino, it's perfectly fine to keep the Shinobu part.”

“That's an exceedingly condescending attitude toward our benefactor. But from a divine standpoint, it's probably for the best that Oshino-san’s name isn't completely removed. For example, giving her a name like Araragiaaaa wouldn’t be a good idea.”

“From a human standpoint as well, that would be a bad idea.”

This isn’t some RPG, after all.

However, once it's brought up, the matter of what name I should give Shinobu became a tantalizing question. This wasn’t mere whimsy. In fact, it was the pureblood vampire who had transformed her— or rather, Princess Acerola, or Lola— into a vampire: Deathtopia Virtuoso Suicide-Master had fully designed her current name.

While I had no intention of defying the divine advice that it's better to retain Shinobu's name, it might be amusing to play with the idea as an idle pastime— like considering names for my own child, what about giving her a new one?

“Hmm. It's not derived from anything in particular, but how about Araragi Tsubasa?”

“That’s too heavy! Besides, I think your wife mentioned something similar a long time ago.”

Was that the case? Well if so, we were a couple cut from the same cloth.

“Araragi Nadeko?”

“Not just heavy, that's a precursor to a dysfunctional family. Please don't name the adopted child after a woman you've cut ties with.”

“It's not just the names of women I've cut ties with.”

“I guess you’re going to say Araragi Sodachi next?”

“I was going to say that, yes, but I'm not actually estranged from Oikura. She's more of an ill-fated bond.”

“Whether you call her a childhood friend or an ill-fated bond, it certainly changes things quite a bit… Who else? Any other estranged women in Araragi-san’s life? Tsukihi-san, maybe?”

“Though her whereabouts are indeed unknown, I have no intention of severing ties with her. She's my sister.”

“You've always been consistent in that regard. Well, it's not ideal to name a living acquaintance after a great figure, a deceased one or the like.”

“Right, it isn't.”

“Oshino-san didn’t name her something like Oshino Mememe either.”

“Mememe?”

Shinobu’s character would have been quite different. She might not have been as shy.

“Who knows, she might've been a young girl who loved neatly prepared mackerel rather than donuts.”

“Shinobu Shimeshimeshime³ doesn't sound right either. So, in the spirit of you who is not only a great figure but also a divine being, how about Araragi Mayoi?”

“Terrifically heavy. And it's just plain creepy if you name your daughter something like that. Why are you so desperate to bring Araragi Mayoi into existence?”

“If we take you and Shinobu, divide by two, we might just end up with the perfect little girl.”

“What's with this little girl idea? It's creepy when you look at adoption like that. No one like that should be a foster parent. It's not cunning, it's just recklessly said.”

Hmph.

We had come up with many thought experiments, but in conclusion, Araragi Shinobu seemed to be the most suitable choice for now. There was no sign that an idea greater than that would emerge, whether in terms of this process or sealing.

The world works in wonderful ways, doesn't it?

“But you know, I can't help but think that if my name wasn't Araragi Koyomi, I might have turned out to be a completely different person.”

“Yes, you may have ended up dating someone else entirely, too.”

Although I didn’t want to believe that fate could be so drastically altered by a single name, actually, even during my junior and senior high school days, a different attendance number could easily change my position within the class.

Having a starting letter “A” in my name, my attendance number was always either one or two, and just after the class change, it was inevitably a conspicuously awkward position for self-introductions.

I had thought of it like a vile, loathsome four-syllable word that smeared on my beloved wife’s name, but I found myself grateful for the name given to me by my parents: Araragi.

And technically, it was the name of my father's father's father's father— maybe. It may have originated from a grandmother somewhere along the line, but the further back in time we go, the more unlikely that becomes…

“I should get going, though. I may not go on as many tangents as before, but I still lose track of time when I talk to you.”

“It's such an honor for a goddess to hear that.”

“Do you want to come with me? To Senjougahara?”

“Even the adult version of me is still a novice. I dare not venture into Takamagahara.”

Takamagahara? Oh right, that sacred place at Futarasan Shrine. Everyone's so knowledgeable about Tochigi Prefecture. If only I had paid more attention in geography class…

“Right, I’ll pray from this distant mountain for a sunny day at Senjougahara.”

“That's thoughtful of you, but you're the god of lost children, not the god of weather. Or are you going to make me a teru teru bouzu to ward off the rain?”

“Oh, no, although I now serve as a goddess at this snake-themed shrine, I was originally just a lost snail. I may not be as powerful as the sun goddess Amaterasu, but I still have some control over the rain.”

Hachikuji's smile was radiant, like that of a child, filling me with warmth like the sun itself.

“Rain or shine, it remains elementary for me.”

Prev Chapter | Next Chapter

腐れ縁, bad (but inseparable) relationship and 不貞腐れる, to become unfaithful.

The kami in 上さん、one’s wife、 sounds like 神、god.

忍野〆〆〆<- this weird symbol called shime, looks like katakana メ.

#ikusamonogatari #monogatari series #translation #araragi koyomi

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traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 2 years ago

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i need reassurance on this one, and tw for hallucinations, kinda intrusive thoughts(?) and loads of shitty things that kept on happening

I've been through a lot of shits in these past few months, and i swear to god it kept getting worser. I don't feel safe anymore in my own house, i had trouble sleeping, focus, and literally handling my own panic attack.

I just want all of these stuff to stop happening, my hallucinations even got worser day by day cause of those horrifying shits. I don't wanna see those stuff anymore, or went back to that place anymore, i don't want it and i'm sick of these feelings. It felt like those events were happening again even tho nothing happened in real life, obviously no one fucking feel it except for me cause i was the one who's experiencing it. Plus these voices that told me another horrifying shits? (like the possibility of any little things could ruin everything or even cause a literal apocalypse wtf) It's a literal living hell. I just wanted to live my life normally is it really hard to ask for?

I had friends who i dearly cared, for finally i had friends! But this? When i went back from uni i got...these??? Mostly it's about my grandma's sis, no one was/were willing to take care of her and she's so goddamn arrogant to other people, don't even get me started with her son he clearly didn't care for her anymore. BUT that's THEIR shits not my family's! Ofcourseeee we care about her but it's been fucking months and even my fam were so done at her and her son at this point, and because of her condition she'd have to get to the hospital like really often.

I had to rush her to the hospital when i was home alone and god that traumatized me so much, like ffs i'd rather be killed instead of living in that exact moment

I wanted to be angry but i couldn't and when i talked abt my feelings my mom only told me to accept all of this....

It's like i'm still processing and i couldn't do it because the pressure of "accepting" all of these so quickly...

i just want them to stop but obviously i can't control them, and yeah there are things that i couldn't control but this is too much. I wish i could but the hell can i do i'm just a kid.....

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry about what you've been going through. I can see that you're going through a lot right now and you're struggling. Please know that you're not alone.

It's okay to take your time processing your experiences, and no one should make you feel rushed, including your mom. It sounds dismissive and minimizing of her to tell you to just accept it, when it's very jarring and traumatizing. I wish your mom were more considerate about the fact that this was quite an upsetting experience for you, and understandably so.

It's okay to be angry. It's okay to feel however you need or want to feel about what happened. Part of processing what you went through is processing those emotions. Healing from trauma is done at your own pace. Please know that healing isn't linear, and so there may be some rough patches along the way, though it's still worth it.

I'm sorry that you experience hallucinations and flashbacks. These things can definitely be terrifying to go through. Please know that there are resources available to help you through these things. Here is a list of coping strategies for hallucinations, and here is a PDF on coping with flashbacks.

If your school has counseling services, it may help to reach out to them and talk about what you're experiencing and going through. As professionals they may be able to help you further.

I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks #tw death

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aftonfamilyvalues · 1 year ago

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Am I weird for being anxious living with someone who spends 90% of their time in the common areas, so could easily talk to me to my face, but chooses to wait till I’m in my room to text me?

It’s so triggering; when I lived with my folks my father harassed me constantly, I started declaring my room as my space where he was not allowed to bother me. I told him it’s my space to focus on my hobbies and study (I was in my 20’s, and wasn’t living there rent free so… ) I compromised/tried to compromise with “I’m not available at x time but when mh door is open or I’m not in my room you can talk to me.” Ofc it had nothing to do with wanting to interact with me (the man sexually abused me, for years, he got off on violating my boundaries,) because I’d compromise and say if it’s important you can email or text me and I’ll talk to you when I’m done studying. I’d state I’m available in the afternoon or evening.”

Nope. He’d email me or text me. If I didn’t respond to an email, it was a text, then he’d be knocking on my door. He’s harass me daily on my room. I’m talking sending me a text, then five minutes later banging on my door (I feel like 3 hours is a good response window… not five minutes. And this was daily to the point I didn’t feel safe in my own room/ no space was my safe space.)

Now that I’m moved out, it’s very triggering if I’m living with someone who can’t wait till I’m out of my room to talk to me. It’s very triggering to be texted by someone in the same damn house. It makes me feel smothered and harassed.

I’m so uncomfortable with my roommate who I didn’t know was home, who overheard me complaining about how the door keeps sticking making it hard to open and shut. She texted me that she’d hate for that to be an issue and can fix it if I need help.

Wtf, girl you didn’t speak to me for a month and a half why are you texting me 😭😭I legtimently get panic attacks. Like I initiate verbal conversations if there’s a conflict or a problem, and I am solution based. I’m not confrontational I like to negotiate and resolve thinfs. We had a whole ass conversation where we agreed she would write me up a new lease. She didn’t speak to me and emailed it to me without saying anything. I spent w month panicking about being homeless. I hate her. Her conflict resolution style is to give me the silent treatment and if she has to talk to me/has something to say, she texts me. As if nothing happened. I can’t. Am I insane or is this not normal behavior? (Very close to living alone… waiting on a housing agency. I went from being on disability to working and still my earnings put me at risk for being homeless. I can’t with the passive aggressive shit and then “💓💗what do you need? I’m so kind” texts. As if I didn’t spend a month dealing with AUD because I thought she changed her mind and I was literally looking up homeless shelters

Now she’s texting me all “sweet” about giving my door. Wtf 😭this shit is so triggering I start shaking and crying because it reminds me of how my father would treat me (except for the silent treatment, but it was basically him wanting to assert dominance and harassing me via texts while I’m in my room to be safe and away from him.)

i think maybe if this roommate is giving you this many issues you should find someplace else to go

#ask

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andrewbelindo · 1 year ago

Text

COVID will fucking sneak up on ya...

Since 2020, I've been masking, social distancing, minimizing trips out, even quarantining from my partners if I so much as think I was exposed to someone with COVID.

Sunday, I had a virtual writing tutor appointment. I've just restarted T, which in the past has made me prone to pain in my vocal cords if I talk too much. And here I was, talking (loudly) for an hour straight about my book. In the middle of my appointment, I started noticing a mild sore throat, but I thought nothing of it. It was expected.

So Monday, when I woke up with a very sore throat, I thought it was a continuation from the day before. I'd overexerted my voice, after all. Happened all the time when I was on T before. Being a virtual tutor myself during the lockdowns, I'd talked myself rasp plenty of times, with many of those times ending in a panic attack because "WHAT IF IT'S COVID?!" So I was calm this time. "It's just from the tutoring session. Obviously. I haven't talked that much at one time since starting T." So I didn't isolate at home. The sore throat started to clear up Monday night, and Tuesday morning, I was almost back to normal. I went to work, avoiding using my voice as much as possible so it could rest, and by the end of the day Tuesday, I felt almost good as new.

Except then, my sinuses started to have a dull ache to them.

No sniffles. No stuffy nose. (Well, that I noticed, anyway.) Just this ACHE that means something in my snoot is swollen and angry.

So I took a COVID test to try to quell the panic attack that was bubbling in me. Unluckily, my tests were badly expired, so not even the control line showed up. But I was tired (a little weirdly so), so I decided to go to sleep and check in the morning with fresher tests.

After waking up with a faint headache and some intestinal anger, I went and took that new COVID test.

...Admittedly, I was not expecting it to be positive this morning. This was supposed to be part of my little ritual to turn off my anxiety. It's not actually supposed to have that little red line in the T section.

P A N I C

Thankfully, my gf calmed me down. The tests I took were still a year expired. They could be wrong. I don't feel sick. Voice exhaustion and anxiety (because my anxiety actually does affect my sinuses, which caused plenty of real fun anxiety spirals during past COVID scares) explain all my symptoms. We decided to both get COVID tests today (both our jobs hand them out free) and I'd retest after work.

At work, I felt great! Other than being tired, I felt 100% normal!

I came home, gathered my tests, and locked myself in a bathroom. But before I'd even finished setting up my second test, the first had a line for positive.

...not good.

15 minutes later confirmed it. Both tests were VERY positive, more so than the one this morning.

Fuck.

And that's the weird part. I feel fine! It feels like I literally just strained my voice Sunday and recovered from it! But at the same time, I'm actually not fine, and I can kinda feel it.

And I feel like no one talks about this part of COVID. Like, I see all sorts of people saying "Oh, I thought it was just allergies but then I realized I couldn't breathe" and I'm like "how do you mistake COVID for allergies?" And it's because COVID tells you it's nothing. When I actually pay attention to my body, I realize the sore throat is still lingering. My sinuses hurt (and I've actually been a little stuffy and runny). I have a headache. I'm exhausted and want nothing more than to sleep for, like, a week straight. I've had stomach issues all day. But my brain is like "You're not sick! You feel 100% well! Run around and lick all the books at work!" It's fucking WEIRD. I have all these symptoms, but it's like they're invisible to me. Even when I notice them, my brain is so quick to explain them away as allergies, anxiety, talking too much. Even after testing positive! This is probably also why people who were hospitalized will get out of the hospital and go "oh, that wasn't so bad." YOU WERE IN THE HOSPITAL! But COVID convinces them it wasn't bad.

I don't even feel my own symptoms right now. It's fucking terrifying. If not for the positive tests, I'd think nothing was wrong with me.

So really, one of the first signs of COVID is probably the thought "this is definitely not COVID."

#COVID #I'm super high risk of complications so this sucks ass #My parents combined have half the conditions I have and they got COVID and both of them still look/sound awful #I hate everything

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dianight · 4 months ago

Text

5 months

Hair looking nicer. I cut it for the first time in like 8 years. Just a very minor trim on the front. I can't quite have bangs (which I'd like at some point) but coupled with a few bald spots that are now filled I can style it a bit better. I'm actually really bad at taking care of it and even though I wash it with water only (shampoo maybe once a couple months, no conditioner now) it is looking less "messy" than usual. I just have curly hair, like I naturally get drills without doing anything (not proper ones, but you know).

I've looked into my options regarding getting rid of facial hair and it's looking bad. Moles, dry skin, skin conditions are all bad and can cause issues, apparently. Not a problem for now but it has to be sorted eventually and it's not looking easy. We'll see.

I am the fattest I've ever been, which is not saying a lot because in 5 months I haven't been able to gain a singular entire kilo, and yet I feel way colder than ever. It's a weird thing because even as a teen some random tshirt was enough and now I'm freezing with a jacket on.

Got new pants with my sister. I am 3 sizes above what I was 5 years ago, which is insane because everything goes directly into my ass and my breasts keep getting ignored (<- sad). At some point (soon) I'll measure them, which yeah, in hindsight I should have done from the start but the reason is... it didn't occur to me until recently. Yeag I know.

I have experienced the wildest mood swings of my life very recently. I spent an entire week crying every day. Sometimes emotional scenes got to me. Sometimes just doing mundane things would trigger it. Somehow I went through an entire panic attack just crying and when I was done everything was fine. Genuinely scary. One day I woke up and had no desire/drive/interest to do anything, I felt like dying and the only thing that kept me going was literally "I'm not feeling ok I just need to get in bed and I'll be fine tomorrow". I was in bed maybe for 16 hours just feeling like shit mentally, I didn't even believe it'd get better. Somehow it did, but it was like getting hit by a fucking depression beam. My sideblog has a few more details, but no matter.

I could finally confirm that reading does it for me very strongly. It's just like those people who are unable to feel pain, except for being horny. It's like instead of a physical need, I have to manually check "am I in the mood now?" and I get hit all at once "oh yeah I am".

Genital smell is totally different now, in a good way. I actually was curious about cum but there's nothing to smell, just the occasional pitiful drop when I'm done. A weird(?) one is that something is up with whatever muscles are responsible for peeing. Every single time it feels like I'm not done, squeezing the toothpaste tube as a metaphor. Not sure how to phrase it properly but it's messier now. Like I feel it getting "worse". Not a problem so far but I have to clean it every time since there's always a bit of pee left, something that used to barely ever happen.

I have a very strong case that I am the only trans woman in this town, or at least the only one that uses this pharmacy (the other one is smaller). I could find out but it's a bit nosy and I'd rather "lay low" if you will. I can't wait to move out of this shithole.

We'll leave it at that for now.

1 month (long, TMI as they say)

So I was planning on making a list of changes, sort of, stuff I've noticed but when I try to put it into words it gets quite difficult. Anyway. In no particular order and with the caveat that it might be placebo or simply something that I've never paid attention to or some other unrelated factor:

My hair looks nicer? It used to get tangled pretty often, now I simply get the drill hair curls unless I comb it a bit. Do I notice less hair falling overall? Maybe(?), I still get some loose ones on my hair ties or in the shower. But I feel like (<- feel like) it's less now. Not quite how I'd like it yet but better (<- even if not a thing still feels nicer).

I was genuinely looking forward to having an easier time crying, no luck yet. What emotional changes I've gotten are "villainess behaviors" instead which if I were to elaborate is an incredibly difficult time containing myself when someone antagonizes me in any way. As an example I had a celebration (not mine) recently and some relative said something passive agressive to me, I wanted to just ignore instead I found myself laughing in their face and telling them to mind their business (<- less nice than that). Other minor "I should not let this matter to me" stuff feeding the urge to be cruel. I'm fine but it's funny in a way since it's harder to be nice when people are assholes.

Shaving is much much worse and a bit better now. It used to be something that if I ignored/forgot about for a while it'd not matter, now I had a moment where I couldn't sleep and had to go shave at 2am due to how bad it was making me feel. It does feel nicer now, but only for a while.

Less smell? It's summer, it's hot, I'm not particularly sweaty and yet. It's too big of a change to be something I'm imagining. Weird, in a really nice way.

[I lost track so I check the table for reference to see what else.]

Oh yeah. Big changes happening (<- exaggeration). My nipples randomly get sore, one of them is sore all the time! No noticeable size changes though. Way more sensitive to the point of almost being painful (<- in a good way). Actually concerning. I could talk more about it but perhaps not right now.

Body hair is all the same(?), no differences on skin softness/oiliness. My skin condition remains the same.

Body fat redistribution and pelvis changes seems to not be happening yet. My hips are massive anyway and the dimples in my lower back have always been there (<- bragging).

Decreased muscle and strength. Yeah, not from E I can tell you. It's more the disability and the injuries.

This one is kinda funny. "Changes in mood, emotionality, and behavior". It could be. It could also be the sheer relief of getting something I've been trying to get for 8(9?) years, while being able to focus on other stuff that was simply asking too much of me. I'm biased obviously but apart from the slightly stronger urges it's mostly the same.

Sex drive and all that stuff. Let's just say expected changes. Shooting blanks now, which is amusing. No morning wood. You know the drill. I know there can be atrophy if you don't use it and I'll gladly let that thing rot, but. Let's think about how it might be necessary later on. Bear with it for now.

Another interesting one that comes with those emotional changes is how little I care now about certain things, sexually speaking. And how some others will instantly fill a metaphorical bar until it says !!! MADNESS !!! out of nowhere. Case in point, that drawing about the two girls playing the rhythm game(?) while one holds the other's leash. Yeah funny mental image. Somehow it got stuck in my brain for a couple days. Wait what. I'm also much more picky about what types of works I read. It all just seems so boring now. Seen that setup before, that one's got very bad art, that one is too misogynistic, that one is just uninspired.

Anyway I could type more about how it feels different now but words fail me a bit and I think that's enough for now.

#dia talks

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yichimi · 3 years ago

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Hi <3 i will like to request like- how would the dorm (or just Azul, Vil, Kalim and Leona(Andjustifyouwant Ace and Deuce but it's not important at all)) will react if you said with an angry face "I know what you did" and insist until the character confess something, it could be anything but something, and don't worry, English it's not my first leanguaje as well, feel free to take your time or decline <3!

✨Thank you for your request and patience✨

"i know what you did" - with Deuce, Ace, Leona, Azul, Kalim and Vil

DEUCE SPADE:

Stares at you along time

He really tryst to remember what he could've done

He started to get so nervous about it and also started to make things up in his mind

Situations that never happened but he now believes are real

That's how nervous he is-

"Was it that bad?"

You jokingly nod trying to stay serious and then he lost it

"Whatever it was! I'm so sorry please let me make it up!"

And then he kinda continues about date ideas or buying you sweets and stuff just to apologize (for something that never happened)

In the end when you told him everything he was more than relieved but also said you should never prank him like this again because it fluffing damn gave him a Heartattack-

ACE TRAPOLLA:

he knows he does shit

And he's done a lot of it too

But recently he didn't do anything! At least HE thought he didn't

Then you stood up the morning and chose violence-

"I know what you did" you said trying to keep a straight face

"EH?!"

Thinks real hard but can't find anything in his memory that could've made you mad-because he apologizes always afterwards if you were involved

"I-I don't know-i really don't know! Was it because i ate your yogurt 3 weeks ago??? Did you found out now?"

Well the yogurt was new but-no it isn't something to he mad about really

You told him the truth and now he's mad at you-like how dare you scare him like that

But hands down, that was awesome!

Good job he's proud of you

But don't you dare ever do THAT again ON HIM

LEONA KINGDSCHOLAR:

well the only thing he really does is sleep when you two actually had a date or he was a bit way to honest with you

But you already are used to that

You still wanna pay him back so

Why not like this?

He just woke up 5 seconds ago because you threw a pillow right in his face and you said, "I know what you did"

He's thinking the best he can in a situation he just woke up-

Didn't really work

"what are you even fucking talking about?"

Fully believes he's innocent, which he is

But actually also has a clean mind-

After you told him the truth he ready-

You're standing beside his bed and he will grab you and use you now as a pillow if you want it or not

You gonna lay there for hours

"so troublesome, but i still love you"

AZUL ASHENGROTTO:

well-panic attack-

Was he not spending enough time with you?

Don't you like his presents???

DO YOU FEEL LIKE HE DOESN'T LOVES YOU?? Because he really does-

The angry look on your Face-Damm breaks his heart honestly

"I-I cant remember what i did-"

Because he literally didn't do anything he's such a sweetheart-

Ohhh i swear the comfort you have to give him is gonna be big-

Thinks real hard and can't find ANYTHING in his memories-

"it's a joke-!" You bubbled out and damn is he reliefed-so happy that he didn't do anything

But you did-and what you're gonna do next is cuddling and giving out the explanation why excatly you did this for his poor soul

KALIM AL-ASIM:

Oh bless his innocent soul

Besides all the partying and mess he does by accident, innocent

He does nothing wrong in your relationship except keeping you entertained and sporty

But a small little prank? Maybe-maybe it would be funny to see his reaction

And his reaction was that he started to laugh, no way he did something that bad. He didn't do anything in the last hours so it can't be it

But when you didn't laugh like he did...he worry's. Was really everything ok? Did he maybe hurt you by accident?

Panic

Starts to apologize so much you can't even understand him anymore

Jamil watching: (ಠ_ಠ)

"Kalim, I'm sorry! Its a prank!"

And then he's all happy again

A prank, of course it was one! He never does something bad!

VIL SCHÖNHEIT:

no one can shock this beauty that he starts to stress

Nothing and no one

But you can-and you know exactly how

Besides the 'make up is running out' situation or one of his brushes broke. Chill

But the moment you stepped into his room angry saying "I know what you did!" He was: ????

Tells you to calm down and tell him wHaT mR pErFeCt dId WrOnG

Nothing-

But you wouldn't tell him that

You kept on looking at him angry and he then and there starts to worry a bit

...what could he done wrong?

Spaces out a little so you gonna snap him out of it, "Prank-" you simply said-

You got kicked out-youre wasting time??!! Is make up honeyyyyy, it's more important than a prank

But not as important as you---

TWISTED WONDERLAND MASTERLIST

MAIN MASTERLIST

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tiannasfanfic · 2 years ago

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Gone Away

Billy Butcher x Reader (Angst)

Summary: Relocating to New York was supposed to be a fresh start after a supe related incident took everything from you. But now, you're just wasting away in a new city. Could a random job offer from a stranger be enough to save you? (Crossposted to AO3)

Rating: Teen and Up

Author Note: I listed this as angst since it has a dark theme. This is my first attempt writing from The Boys, so I focused mainly on the reader to ease into the tone of the setting and Billy’s way of speaking. He’s quite different to write than Adrian is, so it was fun branching out.

CW: Mentions of the family's death and how but no details, severe depression and grief, self destructive behavior, alcohol dependency, cussing, Butcher being Butcher.

Word Count: 1,470

Two years.

It had been two years since your life was destroyed. Your home, your family. All gone in the blink of an eye. Literally.

What happened?

Well, that you still didn’t like to think too much about. At least, not when you were out in public. That was just asking for a breakdown, panic attack, uncontrollable fit of screaming or all the above.

That was the whole reason you moved to New York last year. While you had wanted to since you were a kid, this was a good opportunity to get a fresh start. You couldn’t get away from what happened while still in your hometown. At least in New York, no one knew who you were. You could blend in again and people wouldn’t be staring at you with sympathetic looks. Or constantly asking how you were doing. Or offering their support then not being there when you actually needed them. Or any one of the million other things people did or said to make themselves feel like they were helping without actually having to help. You just wanted a normal life again.

The settlement from Vought paid for your relocation. In all honesty, losing everything due to the richest company in the world had taken care of the rest of your life. You were living off of the interest alone, and only a portion of the interest at that. You actually had more money now a year later when you made your decision than the check had been worth.

When you got to New York, however, you ended up getting one of the shittiest and cheapest apartments. It was a one room loft in a particularly low, low-income area. You could’ve gotten something better, but in your mind, what was the point? Depression and grief had a deep hold on you. Life had taken everything good from you, so in your mind, you didn’t deserve anything better. It would just be taken from you too, you thought.

For something to do, you ended up getting a retail job at a Walgreens. You were a standard floor associate, spending your days stocking and helping customers find stuff. It was mindless work. You could do it half asleep, hung over or high, and frequently did. You couldn’t sleep unless you self-medicating otherwise, you would just lay in bed, wondering why you were still here. That was becoming a problem too, but you didn’t want to think about that either.

In all fairness, you didn’t really think about much of anything anymore except for what you lost. You may have not died physically, much to your dismay, but there wasn’t any living left in your life. You were just going through the motions at that point. Nothing held your interest; nothing was fun anymore; it was all for nothing anyway.

It was your job that led you to being recognized. You helped a man who had a French accent in the first aid section find what he needed. He didn’t instantly know who you were but knew he recognized you from tv. Something about an incident involving a supe. It didn’t take but a quick Google search on his phone to confirm his suspicions. The incident that destroyed your home with your husband, three children, and pets inside had made quite a few national headlines.

Immediately after he left, the man informed his cohorts who he had identified at the store and pitched the idea that if anyone would want to join their cause, it was you. There was a fire in your eyes that he recognized. It was very, very dim, but Frenchie felt like if that fire could be stoked higher, you’d be one hell of an ally. After some debate, it was agreed on to at least talk to you about it.

Unfortunately, they made the mistake of sending Hughie.

In all fairness, it seemed like a good idea at the time. You both had a lot of common ground. He had lost the woman he loved to a supe in the blink of an eye, you had lost the family you loved to a supe in the blink of an eye. He could empathize with you and sway you to their side. How hard could it be?

No one counted on the fact that what passed for your personality these days was the exact opposite of Hughie’s. He said all the wrong things and you ended up having your manager throw him out.

A day later, Butcher stopped by himself to talk to you.

By that point, he was starting to wonder if this was all just one giant waste of time. They were doing fine; they didn’t need anyone else. They already had one person who lost everything, and he could be somewhat of a whinging cunt at times. Sure, Hughie was useful, but the last thing Butcher needed was two whinging cunts.

You were helping a customer shade match foundation when you noticed the big man wander over into the section. He was hard to miss, especially when he had a big energy about him that was a cross between a grizzled old sea captain and one of those Hollywood police detectives you see on network tv. He just had that sort of air of authority about him, which included a healthy dose of not giving a fuck. He stepped over to the Maybelline section and started browsing mascaras.

Once you finished with your customer and rang him out, you approached the man.

“You ever wonder why people put so much stock in all this shite?” he said in an accented voice, not taking his eyes off the display of eye makeup.

“Not much to wonder about,” you said, coming to stand next to him and looking at the wall of makeup yourself. “Initially it was men that invented and wore all this crap. Same with heels and hosiery and corsets. Then at some point they decided those were feminine things. What was considered masculine and good became feminine and bad. Fast forward a few hundred years and they still try to say it's the only way to be beautiful.”

“Oh yeah?” his eyes cut over to you, you nodded, and he looked back at the wall. “Well, that’s the biggest load of bollocks I ever heard. Women don’t need all that fucking shite to be beautiful.”

You chuckled. “Agreed. It is a fascinating history though.”

“I bet,” he said, then finally turned to you. “But I can’t say I came here for a history lesson.”

“I didn’t figure,” you said, chuckling and turning to him. “Looking for a new mascara then?”

“Eh?”

You shifted your gaze pointedly to the products he was standing in front of then back to him. He looked back at the wall then back at you.

“Course not. I don’t have the lashes for it, love,” he smirked.

You chuckled. “In that case, we have some pretty affordable selection of false lashes that might be better suited for you.”

That got an even bigger smirk out of the man.

“Tell me something, love. Would you wear those?”

“You want me to be honest?”

“Course.”

“Fuck no,” you said instantly. “I ain’t putting glue on my eyes, I don’t give a shit how safe they say it is.”

That got a laugh from him.

Butcher made a decision then. He had been doubtful about this whole thing, but now he saw the fire in your eyes that Frenchie was talking about. You’d be a good fit.

“I’ve actually got a job offer for you, if you’re interested,” he said.

“Pfft,” you should with a scoff, then you gestured around you. “And, what? Leave this fabulous career behind?”

Butcher chuckled. “Hear me out, at least. I think you’ll be interested.”

You studied him as you considered.

It couldn’t hurt.

“Alright,” you said. “I’m off in little under an hour. I usually go across the street for a drink after work to relax if you want to meet up there.”

At the bar, the introduced himself as Billy Butcher and you learned about his particular area of expertise. You found yourself listening to his explanation with rapt attention. For the first time in two years, you felt an interest in something. It probably wasn't the best of things to be interested in, admittedly, but something was better than nothing. You'd find out later that this man was absolute shit at pep talks, but something in his choice of words that day made you feel the fire in your blood that he saw ignited in your eyes. He wasn't even halfway through with his story when you told him you were in with absolutely no hesitation.

This is why you never send a Hughie to do a Butcher’s job.

#the boys #the boys fanfic #the boys billy butcher #the boys x reader #billy butcher #billy butcher imagine #billy butcher x reader #billy butcher x y/n #billy butcher x you #billy butcher fanfic

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