#it feels like im stuck with a fever the whole time

[aromantyczno-liryczna]

It's so hot this week I'm already dying

[just-spacetrash]

🤧

[quaalussy]

get ur flu & covid vaccines but also oof ouch everything hurts

[blindedguilt]

DND Your Muse

Tagged by: @poppydedicant (Thanks for the tag! Picrews are my fave omg <3)

I Tag: Not the best answer but I'm too tired to tag genuinely, go nuts vjfsjhkjkl

[rinniessance]

TEENAGE FEVER ༊*·˚ - suguru geto x fem!reader x satoru gojo

SUMMARY. you, satoru and suguru have been taking care of the fushiguro kids and the twins since your teenage days. after your latest mission, you reminisce about the beginnings of your little family. and during an impromptu trip, unspoken feelings finally come to a boil.

꒰ warnings: pure fluff! idiots in love. friends to lovers, mutual pining, family dynamics, non-canon compliant, megumi calls you mommy once ♡ // word count: 11.6k ꒱ ꒰ notes: another repost from my old account .ᐟ.ᐟ just really wanted to have this piece on my new blog <3 ꒱

sometimes you wonder why you agreed to be a part of madness that is the geto/gojo/you in a co-parenting throuple (you internally scream every time you remember how nonchalant satoru was about that description. what? i think that’s kind of adorable. you and suguru did not agree; somehow the name still stuck around). you would think that a pair of strongest sorcerers would be able to handle four first graders yet dozens of notifications that finally came through to your phone prove otherwise. your left eye twitches.

[ groupchat notifications: co-parenting throuple ] ‘toru /ᐠ. ᴗ.ᐟ\: girl dinner ! ‘toru /ᐠ. ᴗ.ᐟ\: [picture] sugu ₍ᐢ⑅ᐢ₎: im sorry i wasn’t there to prevent the disaster sugu ₍ᐢ⑅ᐢ₎: shall i prepare the casket?

messages are stamped two hours ago, and you’re too afraid to open the picture, dozens of different scenarios popping up in your head at the speed of light. when you finally unlock the messages, you think suguru was considerate enough to even suggest a casket because once you’re done with satoru gojo, there will be no body to bury.

you: you fed them cake for dinner ??      toru  /ᐠ. ᴗ.ᐟ\ responded: it’s sunday! they deserve a little treat!         sugu ₍ᐢ⑅ᐢ₎ responded: it’s a 12-inch cheesecake you responded: satoru, i know what you want to say, zip it. you’re in so much trouble already.

you: and why is it only you with the girls, where is megumi????      toru /ᐠ. ᴗ.ᐟ\ responded: and ‘gumi ate regular dinner like a child-man he is :<          you responded: it’s called a man-child satoru… toru /ᐠ. ᴗ.ᐟ\: responded: no, megumi is a child-man because he has a soul of a man trapped in a body of a seven year old      sugu ₍ᐢ⑅ᐢ₎ responded: so you’re calling him benjamin button?           you responded: that’s why he doesn’t like either of you.

the frustration you felt towards satoru mere two minutes ago dissipates and gives space to something much warmer; the feeling that was tugging at you the whole weekend as you travelled to korea, sent away on a mission (you found yourself missing your little family more than you expected); the feeling that made you treating exorcising curses with utmost care because for the first time in a while, you want to come home safe. with a simple reminder of how lucky you’re to have satoru and suguru protecting the little piece of safe haven you carved out for yourselves; all the anger is gone as if it was never there in the first place.

you’re about to scroll through the earlier messages but flight attendant announces that the passengers are finally clear to get off the plane, so you shove the phone into your bag, grab your carry-on and hurry out. security check is surprisingly fast, and you’re riding a taxi back home in no time. you send a quick message to the group chat that you’re on your way and close your eyes.

quiet hum of the radio, steady movement of the car, and familiar surroundings immediately bring you peace – you’ve been feeling restless during your whole weekend trip, and now that you’re almost back with people you want to be with the most, you cannot help but smile. you’re being lulled to sleep by something pleasant playing on the radio, and your thoughts drift back to the day you found that being teenage parents can come in different forms.

3 years ago

you sigh again as you look at your watch. 4:23pm, satoru was supposed to be here 23 minutes ago. not only that, but he’s been ignoring your calls, not responding to your messages and did not tell anyone where he’s suddenly gone off to. suguru cannot be reached either, you know he has a mission today, so now you’re stranded in the middle of shibuya, your least favorite place to be, alone. you think this is the day you finally stab satoru gojo because he has the absolute nerve to beg you to come to this new dessert cafe, the one that just opened. supposedly, it was so good, you just have to try it - satoru convinced you to join him, knowing that you hate being in overcrowded spaces, only for to him to ghost you.

buzz of your phone brings you out of your thoughts.

[ incoming call: toru /ᐠ. ᴗ.ᐟ\ ]

“i swear to god, satoru, you better have to save half the planet as an excuse or —”

“where are you?”

“what? what do you mean where am i? in shibuya, where we were supposed to meet almost 30 minutes ago!”

“we’re going back to the school now, come back as soon as you can.”

and then he hung up. you blankly stared at the screen of your phone like it would somehow explain what just happened. with a deep sigh, you put the phone away and massage your temples, feeling the headache coming. satoru gojo might be the one who’s getting migraines from having six eyes but he always makes sure you have one too, just for the company.

ride back to the school is quick and easy – thankfully you’re in time to beat the rush hour, and currently, you’re standing in front of tokyo high. now that you’ve had time to calm your anger and frustration down, you realize that gojo would’ve at least texted you if he was late. something must’ve happened, and you feel panic start spreading its icy tentacles all over your body. picking up the pace, you almost run through the courtyard, pass the temple decorum and straight to doctor’s office – you assume he would be there if something happened.

you finally stand in front of the door: your breathing is heavy and you’re dizzy from how fast you sped up. the horrors of last year’s mission flash before your eyes, painting it blood, sorrow and anger, and you pray to every god known that it’s not a repeat of that failure. you almost lost suguru to the darkness that preyed on him, stalking his shadows, seeping through his skin – you are still haunted by how hollow his eyes became. you’re sure seeing him like this again will break you instead this time. you try to steady your breathing and knock.

“you can come in.”

of course satoru would know you were here. pushing the door and walking into the room, you are met by two little girls sitting on each suguru’s side on the hospital bed. satoru is standing next to them and observing his best friend who is gently murmuring something to the twins. both of them look unharmed which means shoko already worked her magic if it was necessary. it seems none of you want to bring up the elephant in the room so you just take a sit in the chair next to the desk.

“what happened?” your voice sounds loud in the hushed murmurs bouncing off the wall, and all four pairs of eyes are directed at you. it seems you startled the girls as they grabbed onto suguru’s sleeves – you cannot help but stretch your lips in a pretty smile, waving to them. “sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” you tell them in a hushed tone this time, “would you tell me your names if i told you mine?”

brunette twin shakes her head for the both of them, and you introduce yourself. same girl responds to your curiosity.

“i am mimiko, and we’ve never met our parents but i know i am older by 5 minutes. and this,” she points at the girl on the opposite side of suguru, “is nanako. she is always a little shy so i make sure to talk for the both of us!” blonde girl curls a little more into your friend, and you finally make eye contact with him. you’re a little lost by what you see – hurt, anger, tenderness, confusion, he looks so defeated yet relieved at the same time. you’re turning to look at satoru instead but he only shrugs his shoulders.

“don’t look at me, he didn’t really share any details with me either.”

you hum in response and get up from the chair, walking to where the hospital bed is and squat to face them, extending your hand.

“well, it’s really nice to meet you, mimiko and nanako,” and as you get a little closer to their face, you whisper as it’s meant to be a secret, “i think we’ll become really good friends.”

from what satoru told you, it seems that him and suguru hadn’t had a chance to talk yet – girls looked very attached to dark-haired man already, it’s most likely they wouldn’t leave his side and whatever gojo wanted to discuss was not meant for children’s ears. you’re too scared to overstep the friendship boundary you just started building with the girls but you know the look on your friends’ faces, and they tell you they need to have a serious and most likely unpleasant conversation (not too hard to guess what about). standing up, you tentatively reach out your hands to nanako and mimiko.

“have you ever tried crepes? there is a very good place that sells them nearby. what do you say if we go and grab some dessert, just us girls?”

you could see their eyes lit up as they looked back at suguru, looking for a confirmation you’re safe to go with. he smiled at them (that smile that sometimes makes your heart skip a beat and makes you yearn for something you know you could never have), making wrinkles appear in the corner of his crescent-like eyes.

“she is my friend, you can go with her. i’ll meet you in a little bit,” and as he looked back at you, he mouthed quiet “thank you”. you only smiled in return: suguru never needed to thank you, not after the near escape to hell you guided him away from; not after the sleepless nights you spent keeping him a quiet company on the rooftops of jujutsu tech because silence was everything he needed in those moments; not after tight embraces you had to hold him in when you witnessed a sliver of panic attack creeping up on him when he least expected it. in the year that followed the disastrous star plasma vessel mission, you were the light that guided suguru back to himself, back to satoru, back to you. geto didn’t need to say thank you, at least not to you, not anymore.

grabbing two little girls by their hands, you lead them out of school.

“i promise you we will have the best time.”

present

the particular rough bump of the car brings you back to the present moment. you look at the time on your phone, display showing 11:23pm, and you smile looking at the picture on your lockscreen: it’s a picture of satoru with nanako and mimiko, their mouths stuffed full of crepes.

after suguru decided to take the girls in, you and satoru made it a habit of coming over and helping him take care of them. geto and gojo used to be inseparable but the rift that broke in between them in the year that followed amanai riko’s death was a surprise. being close to both strongest sorcerers, you knew why it was there, you knew the sheer trauma of it for both of them. so you stayed with gojo when he needed you to keep reminding him that his shoulders do not have to carry the weight of the whole world, and you’re here to share it. and you stayed with geto when he was plunged into the coldness of heart-wrenching guilt and needed you to pull him out from under the deep. after suguru adopted nanako and mimiko, you were the bridge that crossed a seemingly bottomless crevice between the two of them.

making satoru see what he was missing with suguru’s behavour at the time and asking suguru to understand why satoru was seemingly oblivious to it in the first place – the confusion, the pain, the loss of innocence, and everything unsaid that went on between them – was almost as difficult as being a sorcerer in the first place. by a miracle, you stopped being their overpass as they started rebuilding their bridges themselves. yet, the connection you weaved with the sacred geometry of your hands between the three of you created a special bond that prevailed until this day.

unlocking your phone, you scroll through the earlier messages in the chat: messages that kids already miss you (sent 30 minutes after your plane took off on friday), stories about their successful disneyworld trip on saturday (traitors, you think, you’ve been begging them for a family outing there for months now), and cake-baking adventures today (you internally dread the mess that will have to be cleaned up in the kitchen). looking back at you from your home screen is the picture of megumi and tsumiki on their first day of school, proud suguru holding both their hands (megumi refused to hold satoru’s hand so he refused to be in the picture – sometimes you wonder who is the older out of the two). warmth takes over your entire being once again, and you allow yourself to recollect the memories of how the last pieces of your family all came together.

2 years ago

“i am going to meet with that kid fushiguro was talking about before he, you know,” and satoru dramatically slashed his neck with his finger, poking his tongue out, imitating a dead face. nanako and mimiko laughed from the opposite side of the table while you kicked him on the shin.

“please, satoru, i didn’t sign up to babysit three kids. eat your breakfast, i need to get girls to pre-school, we can talk about it once i’m back.”

“what if i drive you? and then we can go grab kikufuku from the new place that opened near shinjuku station, i heard it’s really good.”

“satoru, it’s 7am in the morning. unlike you, i am a normal human being who cannot possibly consume that much sugar this early. and,” you lean in closer and whisper so the girls cannot hear, “please don’t say stuff like this in front of the twins, they will think it’s normal to be asking for dessert at this ungodly hour.”

satoru thinks it’s adorable, how you huff and puff at the girls like a mother hen. ever since the girls started living with suguru, you made it your mission to come over at least once a week to make sure they have everything they need – and nanako and mimiko, as they once confessed to geto, love your presence. after everything they’ve been through, the girls learned to recognize the intention behind people’s auras, and yours only gave them peace. and, unbeknownst to them at this tender age, they have craved peace for a very long time. so he bites his tongue and keeps the snarky remark he wanted to say, instead quietly whispering “sorry”, and you appreciate the gesture that may seem small to another, but speaks volume to yourself.

“fine. we will be leaving in,” you look at the watch, squinting and thinking about how much time you have left, “30 minutes, make sure you’re ready or we’re leaving without you.”

you let the twins finish their breakfast and rush both of them to brush their teeth before you prep their outfits. suguru was sent out on a mission for the whole week (you worry; satoru tells you that with how much you worry about everyone and everything, you’ll be grayer than him in couple of years) and asked you to stay with the girls until he returns. you won’t lie – you’ve grown attached to them within the short amount of time you’ve been helping taking care of them so you agreed to babysit in a millisecond.

you didn’t expect that a third child will be living with you all this week too.

“why don’t i get my outfit chosen for me?” you feel satoru before you can even hear him, the never-ending reach of his limitless tingling your senses, rushing the goosebumps up your spine (this is totally normal, right? friends make other friends feel like this, right?). and you wish he would only be the omniscient presence that makes your knees weak because as soon as he opens his mouth, you want to roll your eyes and smack the back of his head. you learned to treat him like a child, if he wanted to behave like one.

 “because mommy is busy and you’re old enough to do it on your own.”

satoru did not expect you to say that, sudden blush rushing to his face making his thoughts drift in a direction incredibly inappropriate for a friend. great. you’re so gross, satoru. he suddenly turned away and rushed out from the bedroom (if you had more time, you would’ve asked him what his deal was but alas, you were already running late). then he proceeded to stay quiet the whole morning: while you were getting nanako and mimiko dressed, while he was driving all of you to school, while you waved goodbye to the girls and made your way back to the car. the phrase kept running through his mind the whole time until you cleared your throat and looked at him with your brow raised.

“what’s gotten into you? you’ve been suspiciously quiet the whole morning. didn’t you want to talk about something?”

he forced all the wrong thoughts to stay hidden for now, patted them away like crows nibbling at the forbidden nerves of his sudden need. he cleared his throat and started driving away from the school, not knowing where he was taking the two of you yet.

“uh, yeah. i was telling you that i am going to meet with the fushiguro kid tomorrow.”

“okay… and?”

“and what?”

“what are you going to do?”

megumi fushiguro was discussed among you before, but no concrete decision was ever reached. what if the kid doesn’t even want to go with him? he won’t be able to drag him by force unless he wants to be accused of child abduction.

“i don’t know. if he does want to come with me, i have the resources to keep him out of whatever deal his father cooked up for him with the zen’in clan. but if he doesn’t… by the time he realizes what zen’ins are, and if he ever wants to leave, it’ll be too late,” satoru clicks his tongue at the mention of one of the three big families. it’s no secret gojo clan has not seen eye-to-eye with zen’ins for a long time now but for satoru, it’s personal.

“you know, if you decide to take him in, it’s not like one more child will really make a difference. you’ll just have to stop coming around and it’s like nothing changed,” the words come out of you with such levity, satoru sometimes thinks you don’t even realize that your presence alone can make a wilted flower spring back to life.

he can only laugh in response. you haven’t even met the kid and you already welcome him like it’s nothing to worry about. gojo always wanted to compare you to the sun, the stars or any other celestial being that shines so brightly, they illuminate every shadow in their reach. but as the time passed, he realized that he didn’t want you to be a sun, or a star – then he will have to share your light with everyone else. no, you’re a flame in the home’s fireplace, warm and inviting to anyone who’s welcomed into your humble abode but lost to everyone else.

“you say that now. let’s see what happens when i show up with two kids instead of one.”

present

the memory makes you chuckle. sometimes you wonder if he knew megumi had a sister because when he did show up with two kids instead of a promised one, you swore he looked as smug as ever.

as the time went on, spreading yourself thin between going to university (you said you wanted to finish your degree in case your career as a sorcerer doesn’t work out), helping out geto and gojo on their missions when they asked you, and helping take care of both suguru’s girls and fushiguro siblings was proving to be too much. so satoru, for all his seemingly unlimited resources, decided that buying a house and living all together will be better. you knew that it was easier to move a mountain than change gojo’s mind once it’s been set on something so you didn’t argue. to no one’s surprise, living together for all of you came as naturally as breathing. who said a family cannot be three barely functioning not-even-yet adults and their four adopted children?

the familiar silhouette of home comes into view, and you sigh with relief. when the cab stops, you pay the driver, grabbing your things and rushing our the car. it’s the moments like this you envy satoru’s teleportation ability though you will never admit it to him out loud, lest you inflate his ego even more. you’re barely able to step away from the gates when the front door to the house swings open and you see the person you were just thinking about poking his head out.

“need a hand?”

gojo is as cheerful as ever, and you cannot help but smile back, lips stretching in that tired way he finds almost domestic, and he feels something prick inside him. not now. you want to say something back, but you’re interrupted by the sound of little footsteps running past satoru, towards you.

“you’re back, you’re back!” nanako and mimiko are the first rushing to greet you, with tsumiki hot on their tail. you see megumi standing in the doorframe trying to pat away satoru’s hand resting on top of his head as he comes out to greet you as well.

“oh my god, ‘toru, what are they still doing up, it’s past 12am!” you redirect your attention to the kids instead. “what are you little rascals still doing up, uh? just because you don’t have school tomorrow doesn’t mean you don’t have a sleeping schedule anymore!”

“gojo-san and geto-san said we can stay up today!”

“3 years later and you’re still the only one they call by your first name,” you hear suguru before you can see him: he is standing on the opposite side of megumi, letting the kid hide behind his leg to get away from gojo’s assault on his hair. you smile at them and decide there is no point of staying mad at them any longer.

the men help you to bring your bags inside, and you collapse on the couch as soon as you pass the threshold of your home.

“how was your trip?” megumi asks as he slowly crawls to sit on your right side. out of all the kids, megumi was the hardest to read – for a child his age, he was overly perceptive and did feel almost like an adult at times. what did satoru call him? a child-man, that’s right.

“it was good, ‘gumi. ‘m just tired now. how was your weekend? i saw someone took you to disneyworld when i was asking for it the whole time,” you said, raising your voice at the later part of the sentence so it can reach gojo and geto’s ears from where they were in the kitchen. you could only hear a light chuckle back.

“it was so fun! mimiko was scared of the ride we went on, but i was so brave!” nanako’s eyes twinkled with so much joy, you really wish you witnessed the moment yourself. satoru was right all those years ago, you were a mother hen back then, you’re a mother hen now.

“no, i wasn’t! tsumiki was scared more!”

“why are you lying? no, i wasn’t!”

 “ay, ay! i’m sure all of you were equally brave. now, can you tell me why you stayed up this late?” you finally sit everyone down, satoru and suguru joining you with freshly brewed tea, and think this is the most at peace you’ve ever felt.

“we were waiting for you…” tsumiki shyly confesses on behalf of everyone.

“oh,” your vision gets blurry and you feel pearly beads of tears pool in the corner of your eyes before quickly blinking them away.

“ughhh, you cute little puppies, i just want to eat you up,” you say before anyone can question your tears and pull all of the kids into a bear hug. time is late, however, so you make a quick work of tucking everyone into bed now that they’ve seen you. you say your goodnights and leave their rooms.

“do we not get a hug now?” satoru asks, wearing his signature smirk, and you want to clap back with a retort of your own, chastise them for letting the kids eat cake for dinner and stay up past midnight, or remind them that they are not seven years old anymore; but the car trip and the memories you revisited bring out something nostalgic in you making you slowly walk up to satoru and hug him instead. he is taken aback at first but gojo has always been good at recovering from momentary stupor so he’s pulling you back into a hug in no time.

“you two are rude,” comes from suguru’s side and as soon as you’re untangling yourself from gojo, you’re walking up to the raven-haired sorcerer to do the same.

“i missed you two idiots.”

“we missed you too.”

the silence stretches across the room but it’s comforting and inviting, like an old friend who hasn’t visited in a while, enveloping the three of you in its embrace. you look at the clock on the wall, showing you 1:05am, and suddenly your whole body feels heavy.

“sorry guys, i think the trip is finally showing its signs… i am so tired, don’t even have energy to take a shower,” you say and groan in disgust. you hate going to bed without washing the grime of the day off your body but the fatigue is clinging onto your skin like humid air. “i’m going to bed now, see you guys tomorrow.”

“good night.”

“sleep well.”

and if you paid closer attention, you would’ve noticed the deep seated longing in the men’s gazes, the one that you sometimes have to hide from them too; you would’ve noticed how suguru’s hand is following yours long after you’re out of their sight, and how satoru’s tongue darted out to wet his lips when you were pressed against him, even if for a second; you would’ve noticed that the feelings you’ve been trying to push deep down for your two best friends are reflected all the same somewhere in the constellation of their eyes.

next morning you wake up as a result of someone laughing your name and jumping on your bed. sunlight is peaking through the curtains, making sun bunnies dance on the walls of your room and kiss your cheeks. you try to open your eyes but your head feels heavy like you’ve just fallen asleep and you struggle to make out your surroundings – feeling disoriented first thing in the morning is definitely your least favorite thing. you groan softly and finally force yourself to lift your eyelids – as you do so, you’re met with two little girls using your bed as a make-shift trampoline.

“wake up! wake up! gojo-san and geto-san told us we will be leaving to go to the sea in an hour!” and they swiftly left, just as quickly as they had come in, leaving you to stare up at the ceiling in confusion.

“uh?”

once the words really settled in, you’re getting up from the bed in record time and putting on the first clothes you lay your eyes on. you find the strongest duo already up and ready. all of the kids, worryingly, also look like they are ready to leave the house, and there are bags near the door with both satoru and suguru looking too smug not to be suspicious about it.

“what is going on here?” you ask from the doorway that connects the hallway leading to your rooms to the kitchen. “why am i hearing that we’re going to the sea, and why are you dressed like this?”

“well,” satoru starts, “because we are going to the sea so we’re wearing appropriate clothing. you’re the only one who’s still not dressed.

you close your eyes and massage the bridge of your nose. mentally you douse whatever feelings you were having for these idiots yesterday.

“why am i hearing about this only now?”

“surprise?..”

“i know it’s last minute, but satoru made a promise to drive so you can relax in the car while we’re on the way there. just get ready and we can leave right after,” suguru says from his place on the couch, and you cannot help but sigh deeply and return to your room to shower and quickly pack.

when you’re out of earshot, geto shoots gojo a look.

“what are you planning, satoru?”

“why would i be planning anything? she’s been really stressed recently, and then the higher ups have the audacity to send her away for a whole weekend and give you a mission that took your whole sunday at the same time she was sent away. i was overworked the week before that. sometimes it feels like they are doing this on purpose. so maybe we should all disappear for a couple of days with no way of contacting us, maybe they’ll stop pestering us like we’re the only sorcerers available.”

“very mature of you, ‘toru.”

“yeah, yeah, whatever.”

the two of them finish packing the last of the food that gojo bought in the morning while waiting for you. reserving a spot this late in one of the most popular vacation spots in japan was hard, but nothing is impossible when you’re satoru gojo.

you’re ready in record time, and the kids are all yelling and arguing about who is going to sit where. you need to intervene and say you will be sitting in the back of suv with nanako and mimiko, while mugumi and tsumiki agreed to sit in the middle row; suguru is riding shotgun and satoru has agreed to be your driver for the ride. unsurprisingly, not even an hour out of the city, the car is filled with snoring as the kids fell asleep shortly after you started driving. you feel yourself getting drowsy, closing your eyes and swearing you will only sleep for a moment. however, the next time you open them, you’re informed by suguru that all of you are already halfway through the trip.

“oh my god, i can’t believe i slept for that long,” you mumble through a voice heavy with drowsiness. “i think it’s best if we stop somewhere now, i’ll wake the kids up so they can eat quickly and pee. i suggest we all do it.”

“yeah, i think it would be best, i don’t know if we will have the opportunity to stop any time soon,” satoru agrees with you, and the drive continues for 20 more minutes until you’re stopping at the gas station. you gently wake the kids up and let them know that they need to have a snack and go to the restroom (time is 11:20am and they should be able to fall asleep again with no issues after that).

“how much longer do you think we have to drive?” you ask satoru as he is refilling the gas tank. you’re watching suguru watch the kids where they are running around nearby.

“maybe 2.5-3 hours, depending on the traffic.”

“did something happen during the weekend?”

“no, why would you ask?”

“hm…” you quickly hum, “this is all too sudden for it to be spontaneous.”

“oh, common, don’t be like that. i just think the little family of ours needs a mini vacation, that is all.”

as soon as the words leave his mouth, gojo can feel the blush creeping up all the way to his ears and he clears his throat, walking away. you don’t know what makes you giggle more – the way he admits that whatever it is you have, he also sees it as a family, or the way the confession makes him feel embarrassed. you observe him preparing to get into the driver’s seat – sometimes you wonder what is happening in that handsome head of his. you glance at suguru and wonder if he would have a better guess.

gojo lets you know that you’re good to depart again. the second part of the trip is as chaotic as you would imagine it go and you give up on trying to make kids to go back to sleep. instead, you’re breaking up the fights between almost everyone: nanako and mimiko argue about their friendship bracelets across from you; you keep having to remind gojo that he is indeed an adult in this situation while he wants to continue arguing with megumi; and suguru somehow breaks the AC so the last 30 minutes of the drive everyone is suffering in silence.

once you finally pull up to the little vacation house gojo somehow procured at the last moment, you’re already feeling at your limit: you need the sun and to dive into warm water before you start losing your hair.

geto helps you with the bags while gojo unloads everything into the kitchen – you’re not sure how long you’re staying here for but the amount of food they brought will last you a nuclear winter. the children are excited about their rooms, and you must keep reminding them to be careful and to not run into any corners despite their enthusiasm. you help them unpack and choose outfits for the day – it’s been decided in the car that you will be going to the beach as soon as you’re settled.

everyone is ready in half an hour – you helped the girls get into their swimming suits, while megumi insisted he can do it himself (you suggested geto or gojo help him, but he closed the door in their faces and didn’t come out until he was done). both men were already waiting by the door with the picnic bags and beach essentials – you had to admit they looked a little too good, making a knot twist in your stomach.

satoru was dressed in a simple white button up that matched his hair and a pair of navy swim trunks. maybe he was right, this trip was long overdue for all three of you, as gojo looked more relaxed and at peace than you’ve seen him in a while. his lips were stretch into a lazy smile and his eyes, unobstructed by the glasses or a blindfold, had a glint of mischief that reminded you of a 16 year-old boy you met all those years ago. he tried his best to style his white unruly hair but the surrounding humidity only made it frizzier.

gojo makes it seem almost effortless, with how good he looks, and maybe part of it is true – despite never admitting it out loud, you know he won the genetic lottery when it came to his appearance. but you also know that satoru has an unrelenting skin care routine (because you buy your products together); that he asks what you think about his outfits even though you keep repeating you should be the last person he asks for fashion advice (don’t worry about it, princess, your opinion is the only one that matters anyways and you hate how your heart clenches at these words); and that he spends 45 minutes taking his showers. but what gojo doesn’t know is that you adore him the most first thing in the morning – eyes so sleepy he can barely keep them open, voice gruff and low asking what’s for breakfast, wearing his sleeping gray sweatpants and nothing else. and he will never know lest you want to ruin everything you’ve worked so hard to build between the three of you.

you moved your eyes away from gojo to where suguru was leaning on the door. he was wearing a blue hawaiian shirt with the three top buttons popped off, paired with simple black swimming shorts. his hair was put into a perfect manbun, however, unrelenting bangs always make themselves known untangled from the rest of his locks. you noticed it back when you were teenagers and got used to carrying bobby pins for him – he somehow always leaves them at home (you will never admit but you love the fact that he always forgets them – it gives you another reason to run your fingers through his hair) – and this habit stayed with you all the way into adulthood. while satoru was handsome in a regal way, suguru was all sharp edges that made him look almost dangerous – pronounced jaw, pointy nose, almost cat-like eyes; the kind of beauty that always makes you weak in the knees.

“see something you like?” satoru’s voice takes you out of your daydream and, shamefully, you realize you’ve been standing in the corridor doorway, gawking at them like it’s your first time seeing their faces. you only groan in response and roll your eyes, trying to hide the blush that adores your neck and flushes your cheeks red.

“if i saw something i like, i would’ve told you,” and you stick your tongue out. liar.

“are you feeling well? you look a little red, maybe you got a fever?” comes from suguru’s side now as he tries to reach for your forehead but you swat his hand away.

“ugh, i hate both of you.” liar. they only laugh when you rush past them, megumi and nanako on either side of you holding your hands while tsumiki sits on satoru’s shoulders and mimiko takes her rightful place on suguru’s back.

“whatever you say, sweetheart.”

the way to the beach is short and sweet, your attention is fully dedicated to megumi and nanako as they re-tell you the stories from their weekend. ‘gumi won a plushy and gave it to mimiko because she asked him to play in the first place, and tsumiki, apparently, had the highest score in the game where you punch a bag to see how strong you are. nanako says that helping satoru bake the cheesecake on sunday was her favorite part of the weekend, and you make a mental note to let her help you the next time you do it.

from behind you, geto and gojo observe your interactions with the kids, each of them in their own thoughts, yet both mulling over the same thing – you, letting tsumiki and mimiko chat between themselves.

neither of them thought you would become a constant in their lives when they decided to take in the kids – after all, none of you were in a relationship, despite their feelings for you, and you had no obligations to be giving them so much of your time. but as the time went on, all three of you fell into a comfortable routine that was both a blessing and a curse – they couldn’t confess that the boyish crush they had on you in your teenage years not only endured but blossomed into something so much more. that something kept growing inside their ribcages, weaving and building a home there, rooting itself so deep, they forgot what life was like before you offered them your light.

satoru and suguru only discussed this once between each other. the unspoken feelings they had not only for you but also for each other made already complex situation even more complicated. the fear of damaging the carefully built dynamic between the three of you was overwhelming - so overwhelming in fact, both agreed to never speak of this again. pandora’s box was sealed, and only you behold the power to open it. the strongest duo knows why this little box of wonders needs to be locked far away from them - however, it’s moments like this, when megumi asks to be carried in your hands (even though he’s getting too big for that) while nanako clenches your hand harder and you indulge both of them without a moment’s delay, that make them wish you knew: knew how much suguru adores the little tilt to your head when you’re confused about something, knew how much satoru loves smoothing out the wrinkles on your head when you’re deep in the thought, knew how both of them yearn for your laugh after a long day.

the cute white bikini you’re wearing is definitely not helping the ever-running thoughts two men are trying so hard to push down. it’s not the first time the absolute indecency of their desire is sparked by the slight bounce of your tits and the swing of your hips. memories of countless times they had to take an extra shower in the morning because you would show up in the kitchen in one of their shirts, without a bra, nipples hard and visible through a thin fabric, should make them feel embarrassed, yet the shame never comes. when did the longing for you start feeling so right?

as the years progressed, this dance the three of you did around each other became familiar, and none of you dared to switch the melody.

sometimes you wish you were brave enough to do it.

“look, look, we’re finally here!” mimiko yells from suguru’s back and then instructs him to put her down. nanako lets go of your hand as tsumiki’s climbing down satoru’s shoulders, and three girls run away towards the sea.

“be careful! you still need to put your sunscreen, don’t run away too far!” you move your attention to the little boy you released from your hold as you entered the beach, “‘gumi, you’re not going with them?”

you wiggle his arm back and forth (his hand is so tight in yours, gripping now harder than before) but he refuses to look at you so you don’t push.

“did you forget he doesn’t know how to swim?” satoru says from behind you, and you shoot him a look. god, was he purposefully trying to rile megumi? fushiguro only digs his fingers further into your hand, and you honestly want to bite satoru’s head off.

“that’s okay, baby, i’m sure your dad needed support of his whole clan when he was trying to learn how to swim.”

“he is not my dad.”

your brain goes blank for a second, and you hope satoru did not hear what you just said (he did; but he thinks he’ll spare you the further embarrassment; he also doesn’t want to admit that it makes his stomach turn in a way he wish it wouldn’t).

“you’re right, dummy like him could never be your dad.”

you find the spot not too far from where the girls are playing, and you help geto and gojo set up the blankets and umbrellas. while they are making sure none of it flies away with the first gust of the wind, you search for the sunscreen in your bag.

“girls! come here, we need to put sunscreen on you!”

you hear the tatter of 6 feet rushing towards you, trying to get first in line so they can all get back to playing in the water. you hand satoru and suguru two other tubes you brought.

“help me to put this on them. i think if we don’t do it in the next minute, they will actually explode,” you say, smiling at how impatient tsumiki is being in front of you as she keeps bouncing on her legs. before you start on the sunscreen, you turn her so her back is facing you and let her hair out of the ponytail as you try to retie it. she winces a bit and lets out a small ouch.

“’m sorry baby, didn’t meant to hurt you, you okay?” you ask as you rub on the roots of her hair.

“yeah, i’m okay!” she exclaims loudly, making you giggle. once her bun is all set in place, you quickly put the sunscreen on her whole body, finishing with the face, and boop her nose. tsumiki scrunches it in her adorable way, and you feel your heart swell with joy and love.

once the girls run off again, suguru comes up to you with the tube of sunscreen in hands.

“don’t you think you need a little help too?”

the smile adorning his face is so sweet, he doesn’t realize the summersaults it’s making your heart to do. and when you think about those hands on your shoulders, on your back, going lower where you want them most, you realize you actually might be burning up. but you can’t come up with an excuse fast enough not to let him do it so, without any words lest you’ll be embarrassing yourself, you just turn around and present him your back.

geto start slowly with your shoulders, squeezing the tube and spreading the sunscreen on your soft skin. you swear you can hear him sharply inhale, and your heart involuntarily skips a beat. you let yourself wonder, just for a second, how these hands would feel on the parts of your body where you want them most, if geto would be as gentle squeezing your breasts and tugging at your nipples. and when his hands start travelling lower, caressing the space between your shoulder blades and running his fingers down your spine, you wonder if his long digits would reach the spot inside your gummy walls that you’re unable to find yourself. you absolutely lose yourself to the indecent thoughts when he starts massaging the sunscreen into your lower back. that man, you think, if only he knew what he was doing. it takes all of your willpower to prevent yourself from moaning out loud and not tremble at his mere touch. you want to lean back and tilt your head to the side so geto can leave a trail of wet kisses on the side of your neck, following the curve of it to your jaw, and capture your lips in a way that only lovers can.

you can feel your skin grow hot and your white bikini better not show how embarrassingly wet you got from your best friend’s touch. you’re so sick, you think to yourself and before it becomes any worse, you’re untangling yourself from suguru’s arms and call out for megumi.

“i… uh… will go swim with him, don’t want him to get bored,” you breathlessly whisper as if too afraid to speak any louder, and call out to the boy.

“‘gumi, common! grab your floaties and we’ll go play a little further away from the girls,” you wait for him to grab his stuff, and you notice one of his rare smiles – he never hid the fact that you were his favorite out of three adults, and he always feels a little smug when your undivided attention is on him. satoru shoots him a knowing look which megumi successfully ignores, clinging to you.

you pass the girls as you show them the direction you’re taking megumi in and they all say “okay!” at the same time like it’s rehearsed. mimiko, nanako and tsumiki are in a competition to see who can gather the most seashells and are left under the attentive gaze of gojo and geto. you help megumi put his floaties on and gather him into your arms so you can walk a little deeper: once you’re satisfied with the distance, you try to let him go but he is attached to you like a baby koala.

“common ‘gumi, i promise i won’t let you go, okay? i’ll be right here in case you need help, and i’ll be also holding onto you the whole time.”

fushiguro only violently shakes his head, not wanting to be in the water by himself. you wonder where this fear comes from and think you’ll have to revisit it later. you don’t push any further, and hug him closer, running a smoothing hand on his back while he puts his head on your shoulder. you squat a little to help him get adjusted to the temperature, and he shrieks from the sudden rush of water above his waist while hugging you tighter, almost choking you. laughter bubbles in your throat but you don’t want to make megumi feel worse than he already does so you try your best not to let it out.

“hey, baby, it’s okay. i am holding you, yeah?” and as you say that, you try to push him away from you one more time, to let him experience the ocean by himself but he only tightens his hold as a sign he is not moving away. so you resign to gently swaying with him in the water, letting the salty waves wash around you. you can feel the sunlight dancing on your skin, warm breeze carrying all your worries away, if just for a moment, and you close your eyes allowing yourself to take all of it in. megumi’s head is pleasantly heavy on your shoulder, and you walk little bit further away from the beach until you bump into someone.

“oh, i am so sorry!” you instantly apologize and turn around. what you don’t expect is to be met with the pair of the most beautiful green eyes you see (your mind involuntarily goes to gojo and how even these emerald eyes pale to comparison to the infinity carried by his gaze). you think if your heart didn’t belong to the two most annoying human beings you’ve ever had a pleasure of encountering, you would’ve fallen head over hills right here, right now.

“please, no need to apologize.”

surprise number two: this stranger is not only handsome, but also has a voice that makes you want to do whatever he asks you to, as long as he keeps talking to you. and again, you think how unfortunate of you to fall in love with two people you can’t have when men like this walk around for free.

he smiles when his attention falls to megumi - little boy appears not to be happy with this encounter. who does this man thinks he is? maybe megumi didn’t want to learn how to swim, it doesn’t mean that he is willing to share you when he just got you away from two men on the beach (he is not old enough to rationalize that what he is feeling is jealousy; you never noticed but, geto and gojo excluded, he never liked how other men talk to you in the first place).

a handsome stranger doesn’t seem taken aback by the attitude from megumi, and for a seven-year-old, your little boy has a mean death stare.

“he is very cute, what is his name?”

“he’s megumi,” you give him your name as well and extend the arm for introduction. before a man can even respond, megumi is tugging your arm away and whines, speaking loud enough for satoru and suguru to hear, who, unbeknownst to you, have been watching the interaction this whole time (spoiler – they are not very happy about it but proud of the kid, truly an oscar-worthy performance).

“mommy, i want to learn how to swim now!”

you think you heard him wrong – he has never called you this before. if it happened any other time, you think you would’ve cried tears of happiness. now it only makes you feel stupor. how does he even know to call you mommy in this situation? megumi has always been the most well-behaved one out of all four kids, the disbelief at his attitude is written all over your face. what is he playing at?

“oh, i’m sorry, i didn’t realize he was your kid,” the man says but hurries to add, “i adore children though; i work at a pre-school. hi megumi, my name is rei.”

the boy looks at the outstretched hand the man offered like it personally offended him. all of a sudden, he points to the beach where satoru and suguru seat and announces, yet again loud enough for them to hear.

“my daddies are just right there!”

what happened to “he’s not my dad?” you think in panic.

you’re not sure if gojo and geto can hear the full conversation, but they wave back at you anyways. rei moves his gaze from you to megumi to two men on the beach, trying to decide if he should believe it or not. you, on the other hand, are speechless and currently wishing someone would be kind enough to curse you right now, or for the ground to split and swallow you whole with how hot and embarrassed you feel. megumi is so grounded today. you can feel the inner temperature rise to the inappropriate levels, feeling like a kettle that is about to overheat – you don’t wait for rei’s response while saying awkward “bye, nice meeting you!” and rushing away.

“welcome back, mommy,” satoru teases when you settle back at your spot. megumi is sitting on the opposite side of you, munching on the watermelon like he didn’t just make an absolute fool out of you in front of a random man. you try your best to ignore satoru, but his comment only makes you groan, sound almost bordering a sob.

“please, for the love of everything holy, don’t say another word. i bet it was you who put this idea into his head.”

“you know as well as we do that you can’t make megumi do anything he doesn’t want to,” gojo responds with the knowing smirk, and you only sink into yourself further. your face is burning up, and now you think it’s not because megumi’s whole afternoon mission was apparently to embarrass you in front of a stranger but because of what he said. the shock of the moment is finally dissipating, instead giving the space to indescribable tenderness. you will have to cry about it later on your own so to save yourself further shame, you hide your face behind your hat and lay down, contemplating how this one simple word somehow turned all of your insides upside down.

what you fail to notice is the proud smile satoru shoots to megumi, mouthing “good job” and suguru passing him his favorite candy knowing he’s not allowed to eat it before dinner.

you feel absolutely drained. after the incident with megumi, you stayed in the same position until the kids started complaining that they were hungry. the sun is getting low, painting the skies ochre and pink, giving everyone its glowing kiss. you dare to peek at satoru and suguru, and they looked almost ethereal – sunshine dancing on satoru’s white eyelashes as he dries tsumiki with a towel and nodding enthusiastically at the collection of shells she is showing him, while suguru tries to untie nanako’s wet hair so he can wrap a towel around it. mimiko slowly drags her legs towards you, poor girl absolutely exhausted, and as soon as you open your arms to embrace her with a towel of her own, she plops against you and almost momentarily falls asleep.

suguru offers to carry her home, but you wave him off, asking to grab megumi’s hand instead.

“i am not cooking once we get home, we better buy food now or we can drive into the city.”

“ugh, i don’t think i have the strength to drive,” satoru whines like he is the youngest out of the bunch. “let’s just buy something here, it smells pretty good.”

suguru only hums in agreement, listening to nanako and tsumiki argue about who got the most shells (both fail to count their shells correctly), and with that, your dinner plans are decided with satoru ordering your food from the stall nearby.

“what do we say when someone gets you food?”

“thank you, gojo-san!” three little voices echo each other, and you’re surprised even megumi joined in. the way back home is quick as you’re standing in front of your door in no time.

“oh my god, my legs are killing me,” you complain as you pass the threshold of the house. mimiko has been sleeping in your arms the whole way back, and you don’t know if you should wake her up and ask her to eat, or if you should just let her sleep. you can still smell the ocean on her skin, and you decide it’s best for her hygiene and your peace of mind that she is clean before she goes to bed too so with a heavy heart, you’re gently shaking her awake once you sit down on the couch.

“hey sweetie, we’re home. let’s eat, bathe and then i’ll put you back to bed, yeah?” her eyes are unfocused as she opens them, and she’s letting out a long yawn before slowly nodding her head and getting up.

“okay, everyone, go wash your hands, dinner will be ready soon,” suguru says from where he already stands in the kitchen, and all four pairs of legs excitedly hurry away.

“i hope the adventure today is enough to put them all to sleep right away,” you wistfully say.

“with their tummies full, i’m sure they will pass out in no time,” suguru says back while satoru circles around him to grab the plates from the overhead cupboards. you want to get up and help but looking at them like this, all domestic and familiar, the side of the strongest sorcerers only you get to see, makes you stall for a second to appreciate this moment for a little longer. the dull ache in your chest starts throbbing again as if someone’s picking at the rough edges that never seem to fully heal, and you wonder if you could have it all if you were a little more selfish. you shake your head banishing all unnecessary thoughts from your head.

the dinner is eaten quickly, everyone so hungry, you barely exchange any words. you can see the children are struggling to keep their eyes open, tsumiki almost falling face first into the plate, so you make a quick work of their unfinished dinner and hurry them into a bathtub. megumi insists he is old enough to take a bath separately from the girls so you ask either satoru or suguru to help him (megumi makes it known who he prefers by grabbing suguru’s hand and dragging him to the second bathroom). bath time is also surprisingly quiet, low energy in the room being an indicator of just how exhausted everyone is.

with the kids finally tucked into bed (megumi apologized for misbehaving, and you think about how far you’ve come with the boy who wouldn’t utter a full sentence to you for the first 6 months), you grab the beer from the fridge and make your way onto the patio where satoru and suguru are already engaged in conversation.

they turn their heads toward you once you step outside and offer you the space between them which you gladly take. you can see suguru is nursing his own beer, while satoru opted out for a bottle of virgin mojito.

“did neither of you really ask megumi to call me “mommy” today?” you wonder out loud as you’re looking out into the horizon, where the last rays of sun melt into the ocean, clearing the canvas for the stars to spark to life.

“nah, you know how stubborn that kid is,” satoru drawls as he takes another sip of the drink; you scrunch your nose just imagining how sweet that concoction is but smile, nonetheless. “plus, it was nice being called a dad.”

both you and suguru turn to look at him, but he stubbornly keeps staring forward. you snort, seeing geto’s smile in your peripheral vision, but there is no malice behind your action. both you and suguru always knew that gojo cared in the same capacity as the two of you for the kids, he was just a little more stubborn about admitting it. you can see it in the way he handles them after they wake up from nightmares (because he knows the same thing haunts him), how he packs them lunches to school when neither you or suguru are able to do it (i know i am not as great of a cook as those two but it’s better than buying stuff from the store), how he allows them to have sweets from his secret stash when everyone else (even you and geto) are not permitted to even think about it. the two of you always knew how much he cared – satoru just needed a little push to say it out loud.

you’re about to say something witty but suguru speaks up first.

“would you have continued flirting with that man if it wasn’t for megumi?”

“flirting? i wasn’t flirting with him!”

“whatever, talking,” geto waves a hand at you like it’s all unimportant details. “would you?”

the air suddenly feels charged with electricity, years of longing and yearning threaten to rip everything at the seams. you tried so hard to move past them, move past your silly little crush, failing miserably. not that dating other people was an option for you anyways – you are sure anyone, upon hearing that you take care of four small children at only age 21, will run away in the opposite direction. it’s a good thing it didn’t matter to you either way – the kids became an integral part of your life, and you would not give them up for anything. but sometimes, just sometimes, when the loneliness creeps into the parts of your bones that have no space for it, when the heart becomes a little too big for your own chest trying to escape through rushed beats, when you tremble from how longing encompasses your whole being, you wonder how it would feel if romantic love was made for you too.

you tilt your head to look at suguru, trying to find something in his face. he doesn’t know why he asked that question – maybe it’s the sun rush of the day, the good mood he’s been in recently or how that man looked at your body – but it felt right. and he knows he’s being selfish without discussing it with satoru beforehand, but he’s so tired of hiding, so tired of pretending like he doesn’t dream of waking up next to your warm bodies, so tired of thinking about what ifs and could haves - asking that question only felt right.

“no, i don’t think i would’ve returned his sentiment,” you simply state and hope that they would leave it at that. you know they never do.

“why?” it’s satoru’s turn in this interrogation, and he looks at you in a way that makes your pulse pick up its pace.

“because…” you don’t know what you’re supposed to say. because you’re in love with your best friends? have been since you were 16 years old? you’ve been carrying the weight of unrequited love for so long now, you think you’re afraid what will happen to the space it occupies if you confess. you hope you know them enough to realize they will not make fun of you for your confession, at most making lighthearted jokes about how they always knew you were not immune to their charms, but your palms are getting sweaty just anticipating their reaction.

“because?” satoru nudges you again, and you dare to steal a glance into his baby blues. satoru’s eyes have been compared to the most prized sapphires, an ocean that will never be fully explored, the skies that are bigger than life itself – all the metaphors that describe him to the outside world perfectly. however for you, his eyes are the color of blueberries that he painstakingly picks out of tsumiki’s desserts and gives to megumi; they are the color of his favorite shirt that is more gray now than blue with how much he washed it but refuses to throw away; it’s the blue ribbons he picked out for nanako’s and mimiko’s hair for their first day of school. you look into his eyes and see a sparkle of something familiar, something you’ve seen in your eyes times and times before, staring back from the reflection in the mirror.

unexpectedly, you feel dizzy and don’t know if it’s the summer breeze that makes your head feel heavy, the alcohol swimming in your veins, or the present company, but you’re brought back to when you were all 16 and innocent, to the moment before the steady ground was violently ripped from right underneath your feet. you think about amanai and that she still loved and cared despite knowing how all of it would end for her. you think about haibara, and how he was full of promise and life and so, so much love, you almost feel sick again.

you’re quiet as you contemplate, and the men don’t interrupt your train of thoughts. memories flash before your eyes like snapshots of old cameras, making them wonder where you have gone off to.

but then you think about how it ended, for the both of your friends, in blood and violence and guilt, their life threads cut short before either of them knew what life even is. amanai and haibara didn’t get enough time to figure it all out: have they loved anyone the way you love satoru and suguru? would have they have had time to figure it out if it was a fair world?

you can feel your best friends’ body heat wrap around you, encapsulating you in their scent and presence, and you decide you’d like to stay like this forever. you think about everyone who didn’t get to spend another hour with someone they love, and you realize you’d regret it your whole life if something happens and they didn’t know how they make you feel. and with the life you lead, something can happen at any moment. you steady your hands and take a deep breath, reading yourself. now or never.

“because i am in love with you two, and i have been since we were 16.”

you close your eyes, waiting for the laugh to come, for them to say oh, you little silly girl, to chastise you for falling for the only two people that will never be yours. you wait and wait but nothing comes. instead, you feel someone’s knuckles brushing lightly against yours and gasp, opening your eyes. what you didn’t expect to see is your two best friends looking at you as if they are seeing you for the first time, their lips stretch in smiles so wide, it looks like it’s supposed to hurt. and eyes, their eyes, say so much without them needing to say anything at all.

“so… what you’re saying is that we’ve been blue balling each other since we were 16?”

“ohmygodsatorupleasestop,” words leave your mouth all jumbled up, you’re sure they didn’t understand what you said. gojo might be a little crude but the meaning behind his childish metaphor is not lost on you – three of you have been oblivious to each other’s feelings for five years now, and a pang of regret shoots through you. how different would everything be if you were brave enough to confess all those years ago?

“have both of you really known since you were 16?”

“yes.”

“yes.”

both of them say it with such conviction, you feel yourself get lightheaded. you don’t want to cry but tears are pooling in your eyes involuntarily, and you sniff a little into satoru’s shoulder.

“aw, why are you crying? i thought we all finally agreed to be happy,” suguru coos at you from the side. the warmth of your hand in his still feels unreal – like it’s someone else’s arm attached to him, and he‘s just observing as a passer-by. he brushes your knuckles with the pads of his fingers and it feels right, how your digits perfectly intervene with his and how your head fits just right into the crook of satoru’s neck, and how your lips look so perfectly kissable and shiny right now. but he doesn’t want to rush the fragility of the moment, so he only squeezes your hand tighter.

“because we could’ve had this all this time… if we were just a little braver.”

“don’t you think we are already brave enough, all the time?” satoru asks this time. “maybe it’s okay for us to be a little cowardly, even if it’s not entirely good for us. we have next memory to look forward to anyways.” gojo lifts your head and looks into your teary eyes – you’re so beautiful, it almost hurts. he let his daydreams to be full of you and your lips and your touch, that it takes everything in him not to cross the distance in a searing kiss. but he knows it’s not the right moment, so he just swipes your tears away and kisses you on the forehead. behind you, you can feel suguru’s lips gently touch your exposed shoulder.

and just like that, all worries dissipate like sand through the cracks between fingers. what is the point of worrying about the past when you have future full of love in front of you? you don’t know what tomorrow holds for three of you with your souls now bare for each other, but you have the time to discover it together. for now, you’re content with this moment, salty ocean breeze dancing on your skin, the warmth of suguru’s palm in yours and satoru’s shoulder lulling you to sleep, and you think that maybe you’ve always meant to end up here, between them.

© rinniessance do not steal, plagiarize or translate my works. do not recommend me on tiktok, thank you

[kirbyluvr63]

need f1 fanfic recs

im SO fucking glad you asked!

im gonna give you some of my favs here and youll kinda notice a pattern, i guess! im about to expose my whole psyche in front of you.

first, one of my favorite ships is maxiel! but i particularly love anything that explores daniel's character specifically, so my first rec is an entry on Daniel Ricciardo's Internalized Homophobia Fic Fest!

heart's a mess by nunnit - just a great character study of internalized homophobia and trying to no-homo your way out of your own life until you lose the one guy you really loved. warning: there's a bittersweet ending! ships: Jenson Button/Daniel Ricciardo; Cyril Abiteboul/Daniel Ricciardo; Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen; Daniel Ricciardo/Blake Friend; Daniel Ricciardo/OMC

Montreal Bounds by ellipsis99 - this one has a happy ending! daniel's in a complicated relationship with a guy who has a girlfriend and max makes him reconsider a bunch of stuff. ships: Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen; Daniel Ricciardo/Scotty James; (brief Max Verstappen/Pierre Gasly)

pale green things by yekoc - historical fiction set during the tulip fever where jos is a rich tulip trader that commissions daniel to paint a portrait of max for his fiancee. yekoc is a GREAT author, i recommend anything by them! ships: Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen

glory, from a high rise by yekoc - speaking of, another BANGER from yekoc. daniel works at a bar and max is a neurotic alcoholic office worker who's also horny as all hell. there's some commitment issues involved as well. it's perfect. ships: Daniel Ricciardo/Max Verstappen

honorable mentions:

a body wishes to be held and held by CamilleDuDemon

All We Knew of Home by LoveLeah

mon voisin by kitversuskat

now, my second favorite ship, my actual favorite drivers on the grid and the ones i cheer for: galex! <3

table in the back by crescenteluce - if you love miscommunication you'll love this one, the dialogue is so precise like you can clearly see how one would misinterpret what the other is saying and at the same time you get why the other person didn't even realize a misunderstanding happened aaaaaaarrrrgghhhh it's a bit infuriating too but so so good. ships: George Russell/Alex Albon

footnote in someone else's happiness by finedae - in this one george and alex kind of have a fucked up relationship... they break up so george can date women and fit in the box expected of him, but stays in touch with alex and alex has to, as the author put it themselves, keep things real. ships: George Russell/Alex Albon

ode to a conversation stuck in your throat by prettyrotten - this ones also crazy good and revolves around miscommunication.. i guess this is my favorite trope for them for some reason. george humiliates himself to keep his relationship with alex who just decides how george feels and makes things shitty for everyone. must warn you that i almost cried with this one, very angsty, but with a happy ending! ships: George Russell/Alex Albon

honorable mentions:

take care of you (take care of me) by ginnydear

Strike a Pose by amphibiangeorgerussell

carry you home (orphan work)

another ship that i adore is charlos! their dynamic is very interesting to me... between them and between ferrari and also i just like carlos and want to study him under a microscope. can't wait to find out how his chemistry will play out with alex once they're teammates tbh

In for a penny, in for a pound by chiliconcarlos - this one's the quintessential charlos fic; a required reading, if you will. charles gets drunk and hires an escort to accompany him at a wedding so he doesn't show up alone in front of his ex. he thinks he hired a female escort, but then carlos shows up and... the rest is history. just a very very good fic. ships: Carlos Sainz Jr/Charles Leclerc

the same as all those men by almondmilkk - idk about you but i'm obsessed with cowboys and this is THE cowboy au... carlos has a lot of repressed feelings and internalized homophobia and charles just doesn't give a fuck anymore, it's glorious. ships: Carlos Sainz Jr/Charles Leclerc

my blood is singing with your voice (the saints can't help me now) by choripan - if you like catholic guilt, this one's for you! there's a lot of religious imagery in this one and it's just... chef's kiss. charles and carlos meet at an abandoned church while on vacation at mallorca with their respective families. ships: Carlos Sainz Jr/Charles Leclerc

honorable mentions:

semiotic study by linearity

says he's gonna teach me just what fast is by foggystars

can't sleep 'til I feel your touch by chiliconcarlos

and now.... for my most deranged ship: george and lance. "WTF??" you may ask, and i say "don't knock it till you try it!" think of it this way: george is stuck up and hates himself a little and lance is just there and doesn't give a fuck and is the pillowest of princesses. unfortunately few see the vision so there isn't much, but i can't recommend enough Lesson Learned by bottomtxt who's also one of my favorite fanartist here on tumblr and the one who opened my eyes to this AMAZING ship dynamic! finger trap by rivalism is my other recommendation for this criminally underrated ship!

and this is it! i hope you'll enjoy it

ps.: sorry for taking a while but as you can see i was taking this very seriously and i had some college stuff to get done at the same time etc etc... feel free to keep talking to be about it, tho :)

[megalony]

Burning Fever

This is a Prince Eric (The Little Mermaid) imagine requested by the amazing @fangirl-tothemax​ I hope this is what you were wanting hun. Anymore requests just keep sending them in. I hope everyone likes it.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem @butlegendsneverdie @langdonzvoid @jennyggggrrr @rogmeddows @radiob-l-a-hblah @rogertaylorsbitontheside @chlobo6 @rogertaylors-lipgloss @sj-thefan @omgitsearly @luckytrashgooprebel @scarsout @deaky-with-a-c @killer-queen-ofrhye @bluutac @vousmemanqueez-blog @jonesyaddiction @milanosaurus @httpfandxms @saint-hardy @7-seas-of-fat-bottomed-girls @mrsalwayswritex @rogerina-owns-me  @hellsdragon @im-an-adult-ish @crazylittlethingg @allauraleigh @onceuponadetectivedemigod @ceres27 @avyannadawn  @noonenuts​ @sleepylunarwolf @coverupps

Masterlist

Summary: When (Y/n) gets sick, Eric is there to look after her and help her get better.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Eric, not again-"

"Mother, please, don't take this out of proportion." Eric's shoulders slumped down and he dragged his hand over his mouth and chin, trying to keep the placid smile on his face but he was finding it hard to stay upbeat.

She didn't understand.

She was never going to understand Eric's need- no, his primal desire to be anywhere but here. It was wired into his DNA to want to be out on the open sea, voyaging to other places to see their cultures and make his own kingdom modern and relevant. His mother might be content to stay in the same place, stuck in the same time loop, but Eric couldn't do that. He couldn't wait around and watch the whole world pass him by, he was too tempted to go out and be part of that world than stay here and ignore it.

For the past two years Eric had done as his mother had requested, he had limited his explorations like she'd asked him to. He didn't go too far afield, he stayed close and kept the travels small, no more than three weeks away at a time. When he and (Y/n) got married just over a year ago, he barely left the kingdom and he knew it had been the happiest he had ever seen his mother.

Right up until she realised (Y/n) would journey on Eric's voyages too and that meant (Y/n) would spur Eric's love for the sea instead of tame it.

"It's a two week journey, somewhere I've been before just to get supplies."

Eric laid his fork on his plate and pushed back in his chair, feeling a headache forming behind his eyes. This wasn't a new travel to an unknown, unchartered country, this was an Island only a six day journey from here that had more advanced medicines and books and herbs and foods. It was a new ally to trade with, it was far safer than many of the other voyages he had been on in his time.

He pressed the back of his hand against his mouth but when he lifted his eyes to look across the table, his lips curved into a small smile and his dimples appeared in the creases hof his cheeks. (Y/n) was smiling at him.

She didn't even have to do anything and she had Eric's full attention. His eyes raked over his wife sitting across from him, watching how she swirled the tip of her finger around her glass like she was trying to make music with it. And when her head tilted to the side, he noticed how her hair fell against the nape of her neck, effectively hiding the mark he had put there last night.

Eric knew (Y/n) had only come down to dinner this evening because she knew he was going to have this discussion with his mother and (Y/n) knew how well it would go down. She hadn't been feeling well and she wasn't hungry but the thought of leaving Eric to argue with his stern mother didn't seem like the best idea.

"Please do not tell me that you're going as well?" His mother looked over at (Y/n) who tried to smile, murmuring a quiet 'no' in response.

Shaking his head, Eric banged his hands down on the table and stood up with a groan.

"Now you know I wouldn't take such a risk. This is the last trip, you have my word." Eric slowly walked over to where his mother was sat near the window that looked out onto the sea that was calling his name. He didn't know why she would even have to ask when she already knew the answer.

Eric wouldn't take such a high risk of bringing (Y/n) along on any kind of trip or expedition when she was pregnant. (Y/n) knew the moment she told Eric about the pregnancy that it was the end of their shared expeditions for a few years at least. From the moment they got married, any trip Eric went on, he took his wife with him. He barely let her leave his side when he went anywhere on any business, official or not.

Now it was different. If he went on the trip and the seas became rough or they hit a storm or a bad tide, Eric was risking the safety of his family and he couldn't have that playing on his mind. It meant that until the baby was born, (Y/n) was grounded, so to speak.

And after the baby was born, Eric could already foresee that he was going to be having a battle with his mother when he wanted to take his little family with him on an expedition. Eric himself had started going on ships when he was only five and if their child was anything like Eric and (Y/n), they would be desperate to be out on the sea. And Eric wasn't sure how he would be able to go on any trips when he knew he would be leaving behind his wife and child.

"Good," His mother's voice was quiet but something softened in her eyes when Eric rested his hand on her shoulder before he looked out the window.

He had to take this trip now because there wasn't going to be another opportunity for months. Eric couldn't take the risk of going on this trip in two or three months time in case something happened while he was away or (Y/n) went into early labour. He had to be here, his wife needed him.

Closing her eyes, (Y/n) slouched back in her chair and rubbed her forehead, wishing the migraine behind her eyes to disappear. She couldn't even read one of her books this morning with how awful her head felt and being around food right now wasn't doing her any favours. She had eaten as much as she could but now she just felt sick to her stomach.

"I was thinking, what if-"

"Eric?"

Turning away from the window, Eric looked over at (Y/n) when her strained voice echoed through the room. He felt his heart jumping up into his throat when he looked at his wife.

He could see the faraway look in her eyes that weren't even in focus anymore and with her hand over her mouth, he thought for a moment that she was going to be sick. But his body jolted and shivered when (Y/n)'s eyes rolled to the back of her head and her head lolled backwards.

When he saw (Y/n)'s body start to fall from the chair, Eric moved quicker than he could register. He rounded the other side of the table and went down on his knees beside his wife's chair just as she slumped down. (Y/n)'s head flopped onto his shoulder and her weight fell on his chest but he coiled his arms around her waist. Leaning her back so she stayed seated on the chair with her upper body resting on him.

"Sweetheart, are you with me?" His hand moved to cup her cheek and he smoothed his thumb beneath her eye to try and get a response but all he got was a small murmur. He pressed the back of his hand against her forehead, clicking his tongue when he felt her skin that was burning to the touch.

Eric took a deep breath and pushed up a little higher until he was level with the chair. He moved an arm under (Y/n)'s knees and the other stayed around her waist so he could pick her up when he stood to his full height.

"Grimsby, could you fetch the doctor please?"

"Of course, sir." Grimsby held the dining room door open and watched Eric slowly head down the corridor before he moved in the other direction to call for the doctor.

By the time Eric almost reached their room, he noticed (Y/n) beginning to stir in his arms. Her head nuzzled against his shoulder and he could feel her hand fisting his shirt tight enough that the buttons almost started to pop. He pressed his lips to her burning forehead and nudged open their chamber door with his hip.

"Eric?"

"I'm here, sweetheart." Eric gently lowered (Y/n) down onto the bed and moved his hand to hold the back of her head and his other stayed around her back. He leaned his head down, burying his face in her hair when she kept tight hold of his shirt and pressed her face into his chest, inhaling his scent.

They stayed like that for a few moments and Eric's mind began to run away without him for a while. But his eyes opened again when (Y/n) let out a small groan. He slowly pulled back and moved to sit down on the edge of the bed beside her but when he saw her hand move to cover her mouth, he quickly scanned the floor around him.

He grabbed the bowl hidden just under the bed for morning sickness and emergencies such as this and held the bowl out just as (Y/n) threw up. Eric moved his free hand and tangled his hands in her hair, moving the strands from her face.

"It's alright, let it out, love. Grimsby's gone to fetch the doctor."

Eric bit down on his nail and tightened his arm around his waist. His back was pressed up against the wall next to the chamber door and his knees were bent outwards as he watched the doctor anxiously.

It hadn't taken long for the doctor to arrive at the palace and (Y/n) had come back around properly by the time he arrived but it didn't stop Eric from worrying. He watched the doctor check (Y/n)'s pulse, take her temperature, check her vitals and do a small assessment before he turned around to look at Eric.

"Is she alright?"

"A mild fever your highness, but she should be fine. I'd just like to take some blood."

"And the baby?"

"Perfectly healthy sir, with rest and medicine her highness will recover in the next few days."

Eric felt like he could have fainted but a timid smile graced his lips and he nodded in relief. When he saw the doctor getting a needle and vile out to take some blood, Eric advanced towards the bed and sat down next to (Y/n). He could see she still didn't look herself, she looked like she was about to faint again and she was flushed and starting to sweat even though he had opened the balcony doors to let in great gusts of air.

When he sat down beside her, (Y/n) smiled and let her head loll onto his shoulder. She could feel his arm wrapping around her shoulders and she moved her head down a little until she was leaning on his chest instead so she could hear his heartbeat.

It felt like there was a drum inside her head that was constantly being hit and her ears were thudding but it was the heat surrounding her that felt the worst. Her body was on fire like she was lying on hot coals and she was sweating through her dress but she wanted to be as close to Eric as possible. He didn't seem to mind and (Y/n) smiled softly when she felt the back of his hand against her temple once again.

It had to be the fifth time he had tried to check her temperature in the last hour or so but it was sweet. He seemed to be praying that he could wish or kiss away her temperature.

As soon as the needle pushed into the crease of her elbow, (Y/n) felt herself becoming lightheaded and her stomach churned.

"Sweetheart?"

Eric looked down at his wife leaning on his chest before a sigh passed through his lips when he realised she had fainted again. Needles were never her strong point, he couldn't count the times he'd seen her blackout or faint when having her bloods taken.

He let himself relax back into the pillows and laid back, easing (Y/n) back into his chest with his arms loosely looped around her waist. At least this way she was going to get some rest for now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"And just what are you doing?"

A tired smile formed on (Y/n)'s lips when she felt a pair of familiar, rough hands resting on her shoulders and a chin placed on top of her head. She could feel Eric's bare chest pressing up against her back and she didn't have to turn around to know his hair was wet and stuck up at all angles.

Eric had just come out of the bath and when he walked back into their shared room, something spiked in his chest when he couldn't see (Y/n) anywhere. He had left her lying in bed and when he came back she wasn't there. But when his eyes scanned round their room, he saw her standing at the balcony doors.

"Getting some fresh air." (Y/n) leaned her head back on Eric's shoulder when his hands moved down from her shoulders and along her arms before finally securing around her waist with his hands on her bump.

"You're supposed to be resting, you still have a fever you know." Eric could still feel the heat radiating off of her and soaking through his skin. She wasn't as flushed or sweating through her layers anymore but she was still burning.

"And you're supposed to be setting off tomorrow."

"How can I do that when my lady isn't well? The trip can be postponed for a week. It'll keep my mother happy too."

(Y/n) knew better than to try the subject with Eric, she knew he wasn't going to entertain the idea of leaving in the morning if she wasn't one hundred percent herself. He was only going to go if he could be assured next week that she was back to her normal health and not at risk of getting worse or becoming ill again. It would be the same if it was Eric who was ill, (Y/n) wouldn't leave him behind.

"Come on now, back to bed." Eric pressed a kiss to the side of (Y/n)'s head before he slowly steered them around and walked back towards the bed, (Y/n) still wrapped up in his arms.

(Y/n) could feel her head spinning when she laid back down but her lips curved up into a bright smile when Eric hovered over her. His hands pressed into the pillow on either side her her head and his knees pinned her legs between his thighs, caging her beneath him.

With him hovering over her and the bright sunshine cascading into the room creating a glowing aura around him, he looked like some kind of angel above her. His smile made his eyes crease and the dimples flare out on his face and his cheeks puffed out. (Y/n) could stay like this forever just staring up at the man she married like he was the only person in the world worth looking at.

"What's so funny?" A smile worked its way onto Eric's face but he didn't know what his wife was quietly chuckling at. Her smile was infectious even though he didn't know why she was smiling, he couldn't help it when he looked down on the beautiful girl beneath him.

"Someone likes the sound of your voice."

It took a moment for Eric to realise what (Y/n) was talking about until he felt her reaching up to grab his hand that was resting next to her head. He leaned his weight onto his left hand so his weight didn't drop down onto (Y/n) and he let her guide his hand down until his palm was resting on her lower stomach. After a second, Eric pressed his hand a bit firmer on her stomach but his lips parted when he felt the small movement of their baby.

"They know their dad's voice." The smile on his face couldn't of been prouder.

[princessghuleh]

cumulus and phantom is one of my favourite ships so have some <them3 thoughts under the cut!!! im so tempted to write a fic ab them so if u have any ideas pls share i need a prompt

cumulus being the one who put the blanket on him and got him to drink water after his summoning

lus calling him honey and phantom calling her my love when he isn't too awestruck ("hi honey" "HIIIIIIII")

him always sending her photos of clouds

them combining their elements to make his magick spread around the den faster or to make her air have more healing abilities when she uses it to cool down someone with a fever

phant practically running to her room and crawling on top of her after a long day of practice with omega and aether and laying on her chest purring so loud while she scratches that one spot behind his left horn

him bringing her shiny rocks and little trinkets he finds during the day and leaving it outside her door with a sticky note saying ' :) ' and no one knows she has a whole box for them under her bed

him being completely inlove with her beauty in a way that makes her blush and squeal and run to rora after getting a response to a photo she sent him who will gasp and squeal with her as cumulus runs onto her bed and kicks her feet and rory is actively aw-ing at her summoning buddy and cir walks in and can't even pretend to be mad that the new summon is seducing her lover because the way he's going about it is so adorable

her kissing over his scars and insecurities and calling him beautiful

he comes to her a couple nights before they start touring and he admits that he's terrified he'll do a bad job at replacing aether and that everyone will hate him (im sorry but theres no phantom ghoul thoughts without a sprinkle of angst) and she listens and comforts him and he sobs so hard he accidentally sends out a massive wave of quintessence (his magick acts up when he feels strong emotions!! topside things xx) that makes them both go a bit silly and they're lying on his bed giggling over some dumb photo of a pufferfish and swiss walks in like because he smelt the magick and he's so confused

cumulus and swiss known as the 2 ghouls who serenaded the new summons before anyone else could (they OWN the title.)

him killing 3 birds with one stone and coming into the girls den with 3 roses in his mouth

aurora and phantom are more ghoul-like/animalistic than any of the others so cumulus will walk into her room to find a nest on her bed made of everyone's clothes and duvets and blankets and sheets etc etc and look inside to find the 2 cuddled up, kneading at eachother, tails intertwined, purring very loudly and when they smell her their ears immediately perk up and they let out happy ghoul noises and drag her in to do their ghoul loving ghoul ritual

he panicked so much when he first got his claws stuck in her gorgeous hair that he almost started crying because he thought he'd 1. hurt her and 2. be the reason she had to cut some of it off but she hushed him and called mountain who giggled at his reaction and got a whole kit from the kitchen - this happens all the time. none of the boys can help but appreciate her cloud like mane of hair

they have the best nonverbal communication. (they communicate mainly in ghoul noises and she understands his confused head tilts nearly as good as swiss can, but no one can beat rora)

aeth got then matching pj's because he's a cutie and phantom refused to take them off until she politely told him he smelled like shit

them baking together and him being covered in flour

aether, mountain and swiss all pampering her like the goddess she is and phantom finds them and feels left out so aether shows him a few quint tricks that has cumulus asleep in minutes and phantom just sits there playing with her hair as she snoozes feeling so proud of himself

lus having to go to the library alone one day after there was an incident with dew and a few of mountains potted plants and phantom immediately jumps at the opportunity and follows her around the library for wayyy longer then she's normally there and she's just handing him books that she thinks sounds good and he's carrying every single one because he wants the praise (he's so real)

him seeing lus at one of the many balls held throughout the year and even though his date is aurora, he's completely gobsmacked at her dress and just everything about her but aurora totally agrees so they just kind of admire her from afar

[anotherfloridaman]

@saltyfryz Balam just figured out what memes are and is annoying the hell out of keligo

You dont know how mich i actually wanted to do. Bit i had to settle because i dont have mich time right now! I like how it turned out though.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

“Chicken strips…”

Kalego looks up, a bewildered expression on his face and a few questions on his toung. He opens his mouth and is promptly interrupted when Balam speaks again.

“With the mac and cheeese!” The avian then proceeds to make a… very strange noise in the back of his throat and ends with a sideways drop, falling limp on the couch next to his oldest friend. “Are… are you feeling well Schichero?”

The staff room never felt more confusing, but it was only the two of them there. Everyone else had classes, or their own office.

A cold hand touches Balam’s neck, and the other feels his forehead for a fever. Kalego grunts in more confusion as Balam looks at him and says, “Confused guard dog noises.”

Kalego stands to make hell grey tea, and when the larger moves to get up, he states “If you stand from that couch, i will consider you a threat to this school.”

The bird looks down dejectedly, and Kalego almost feels bad…

Almost.

“Sad gargoyle noises…”

…

Thats it.

Kalego takes his belongings, and packs away papers he needs to grade. Meanwhile Balam perches on the couch, a mantra of, “Aaron, don’t go, Aaron please don’t go…” then suddenly, as kalego reaches for the door handle, he screams “AAROOONNN!!! I LOVE YOU!”

“No, im fucking done, IM FUCKING DONE!” Balam falls silent, then erupts into a symphony of laughter, unable to play his part.

“This is BULLSHIT! Its fucking BULLSHIT!” Kalego yells, then ateps towards the couch again, this time mischief is in his eyes.

Balam rolls onto the floor, giggling and clapping his hands as the dog continues the famous rant.

“WHAT IS THIS?!” “I CANT GET UP!” “WHAT IS THIS?!” “IM STUCK!!”

The dog stalks to the kitchen, “WHAT IS MY LIFE!”

Kalego skipps a couple lines and screams, “YOU GOTTA DRAW THE LINE SOMEWHERE!! YOUVE GOTTA DRAW THE FUCKING LINE IN THE SAND, YOUVE GOTTA MAKE A STATEMENT! LOOK INSIDE YOURSELF AND SAY ‘what am i willing to put up with today?’ NOT FUCKING THIS!!”

Unbeknownst to the friends, Momonoki walked in at some point and saw Balam on the floor cackling like he’d gotten away with murder and Kalego screaming at him like an untamed banshee. She backed out of the room and hoped if they got physical, the chairdemon could intervene. After all, they were the only two rank 8 demons in the whole school.

[smokeys-house]

Puukko's Travel Log 9

Passage from Puukko's Travel Log

Been a few weeks since I woke up in Venice. Shacked up real cozy-like with the town blacksmith. He said “help wanted”, an’ then I said “bed needed” and the rest was history. I've not been doin’ s’ well. Had a fever fer a spell, but those pills the doc gave me seem t’ pick me up right enough. Haven't much felt like writing. Haven't got much t’ say.

The smith's got a bit of French, an’ me even less Italian, but we get on okay. Funnily enough, says he's seen my maker's marks before. Said he'd seen ‘em on some real quality pieces. If I weren't full o’ sick, I'd have been full of ego about then. Wonder if I'm destined to make it everywhere one o’ me knives has been? Think I'd rather not, just now, but it sure is quite somethin’ being known somewhere fer somethin’ I did good fer a change. I've been workin’ on knives fer ‘im and occasionally running the sales counter when I've got m’ faculties. Picking up more o’ the language as time goes on.

Got a head full o’ nonsense fer now. Once I'm back on me pins, I'll be lookin’ fer a way to clear it. Afore now, I never found m’self worrying about the folks in the valley. They never needed fer me before, so I fail to see why they should now, but it don't stop my heart from hurtin’ a bit. I've yearned fer the sea plenty, but ne'er have I been homesick quite like I am today. Moominvalley seems so much farther away than it ever has, and I get the feeling I might be stuck here a while yet.

I'm a long way from home.

Addendum: What a fool I've been. I ate fish fer that whole time an’ forgot all about the seasonin's moominmamma gave me! Bless me tail…

[fairycosmos]

how can one find a single thing to be grateful about?

every time i get stuck in this mindset i just go back to the realllllll stupid basics like. im grateful that i don't feel as weak and sick as i did that time i had a colonoscopy LOL. or like im grateful im having no trouble breathing through my nostrils and my throat doesn't hurt and i don't have a fever. then there's the whole roof over the head, food on the table thing i often refer back to as well. it's ok to feel like shit even if you have these things though honestly. life is very hard anyway

[toburnup]

Hey Vio, im currently stuck at the airport for a super delayed flight after a pretty shitty end to the holiday! I come to you hoping you might share a excerpt from a WIP to help lift my spirits (and pass the time)?

<33 my dear Corbie!!! i'm so sorry to hear abt your airport delays. that sounds nightmarish.

i have an excerpt from pt 3 to sleep it off - but let me know if this isn't your kind of fic and i can dig around for another WIP!

💫💫💫

Steve wakes up and his body is boiling and he's dizzy, skin hot. He struggles to his feet and gets to the phone, dials Eddie's number with unsteady fingers.

Eddie answers this time, thankfully. Sounds tired.

"...Hello?"

"Hey. It's me."

Eddie doesn't speak for a long second and Steve glances around, waits. "Eddie?"

"Yeah." He clears his throat. "What's up?" Like Steve could be calling just after midnight for a quick catch up.

"It's bad again." Steve says quietly. "Like I'm warm. And, uh, feels like I have a fever but I don't."

"Shit, really?" A quick pause. "I'm feeling okay."

Steve spirals. Just a little. "What does that mean? Am I dying?"

"You should call-"

"Don't tell me to call Owens." Steve snaps. "He'll tell me to take a fucking nap. Just come over." Steve rubs his eyes. "The side door is unlocked. I need to go back to bed."

"Steve-" Eddie says but Steve hangs up, limps back to his room. Climbs back in and the sheets feel rough on his skin and he lays flat on his stomach. Can't even rest properly.

He sits and stews and groans a little. It feels like hours have passed when he hears the sound of the door closing downstairs, and his body lights up a bit. Like it knows it's Eddie.

"Steve?"

"Up here." Steve croaks, and the sight of Eddie turning the corner at the top of the stairs... the relief is palpable. Floods Steve's whole body and he smiles even though his skin feels tight.

"You don't look so good." Eddie says, and Steve nods. Waits as Eddie steps closer, less hesitant than before.

Underneath the venom-induced haze, Steve realizes he missed Eddie. Feels it hit his chest when Eddie gives him a small yet concerned smile. His face is pale and his eyes are big but he doesn't look nearly as rough as he did before.

"I feel like shit." Steve says. "Sit down."

"Pushy." Eddie mutters, but pulls at his laces and leaves his shoes on the floor and sits on the edge of his bed. Leans his hand on the bed beside him and Steve can't help but wrap his hand around his wrist, pulls him down until Eddie gives in and lays down beside him.

"How come you're okay?" Steve mumbles, waits as Eddie pulls the blanket up over him even though he's still wearing his jeans.

"I don't know."  Eddie is on his side, looking at him and Steve's whole head hurts so he moves in, winds his arm around Eddie's waist. He feels so delightfully cool. His fingers are freezing where they brush against his bare arm.

"Fuck. It hurts." Steve mumbles, pulls Eddie's hand closer and up his side. Hears Eddie's hitch of breath and then the quiet moan as he pulls Steve against him.

"You're warm." Eddie murmurs against him, his hands trailing up Steve's back, one underneath his shirt. It's different than before, muted. Like hearing a familiar song playing in the other room. Eddie's hand catches on his shoulder, finally rests against the side of his neck and it makes the flurry of sensations in Steve's stomach rise.

"So what."

"I don't know, it's weird, right? I don't really feel... like I did before." Eddie says quietly, but he's hard against Steve's hip. And this is helping, makes the aching fade a little, and Steve wants Eddie to stop being above this.

"What, you don't want to?" Steve asks, still has Eddie's words from the first night burned into his memory. It's crossed my mind a couple times. Can tell from Eddie's face that he wants this, bites or no bites.

[unlicensedmortician]

bad movies with j&j: divergent part three. the final part. thank god. i never have to watch these again.

- I WAS RIGHT ABT EVELYN BEING THE NEW DICTATOR

- how much time is supposed to have passed??? that’s at least 8 months of hair growth

- i wonder if they want to kill him

- not how trials work!

- four still looks like he’s in his late 30s

- jesus christ??? dude??

- oh ok he’s fine

- thank god for peter he’s the only thing that’s making these movies watchable. guy who’s the fucking worst but at least he’s entertaining

- rip tori u were the most iconic bitch here

- hm. that looks like some form of ecological crisis

- do love a good blood river

- “this hole looks radioactive” hole you say?

- also that’s not even a little bit how radioactivity works at all

- “this is fun i’m glad we did this” cryingggg thank u for ur commmentary peter

- “someone’s coming for us 🥰” wrong tone! you are being hunted

- how are you not hitting any of them they’re running in straight lines

- huh?????????? what’s going on?????

- the future is more color coding apparently

- i feel like im having a fever dream

- at the very least tris has a cunty little bob

- jester: oftentimes what a main character girlie really needs is a cunty little bob

- we’re the good guys :) welcome to eugenics city

- also how the shit do they know who these random teenagers from the isolated city tm are

- i bet she has absolutely zero body hair

- get GLOOPED

- fist the wall hole, tris

- ok i’m sure these tattoos are a cool completely fine thing

- oh! so they have aggressively overt eugenics! great!

- right ok. and none of you are unsettled by this

- oh this is terrifying. we’ve been surveying you your whole life and you didn’t know we existed until rn :) don’t worry about it :)

- oh so those are. barcodes.

- providence?? rhode island????

- haha this is terrifying. “i’ve observed every second of your life” WHAT

- she’s the ONLY ONE.

- yeah of course tris (cis straight white skinny neurotypical) is the only genetically pure person alive. what the fuck

- oh so u can get full access to people’s memories. that’s terrifying

- sure her mother might as well have been from outside

- the tattoos indicate how damaged they are that’s so cool and great. and that also determines how much access they have. awesome.

- there’s no way this guy is a good person

- when i say this surveillance technology is scarier than any horror concept i’m being serious

- really really interesting to have a black woman defending the status quo

- if they’re the good guys why is everyone else so afraid

- also like. why wouldn’t they take adults in also? what’s the cutoff point?

- “we’re here to help” while pointing a gun at a family. what. BRO YOU JUST FUCKING SHOT HER DAD?

- what the fuck they just wipe these kids’ memories ??

- the political messaging here is confusing at best

- this is the first time i’ve been anything more than completely neutral on four

- can i blame the current lack of media literacy on this franchise or

- tris. what the fuck

- who would win: guy who stuck by you through all the absolute batshit insanity of the last two movies and was like. decent through all of it. or old guy eugenicist who says he knew your mother. the answer will shock you!

- kinda ate with tris’ costuming evoking jeanine

- who media trained her

- “we’re not taking you to chicago” four is like. sure. this might as well happen. i guess. gonna make this ship crash now

- so were they gonna execute him? i’m confused

- “this ship is the only one that can fly through the camo wall” immediately crashes it

- wait lmao is this actually rhode island

- oh wow the eugenics guy is untrustworthy! who could have seen this coming

- “the factions work” they literally didn’t. that was. the point of the whole two other movies? are we forgetting those

- matthew and four should’ve been endgame thanks for coming to my ted talk

- thank you peter for always serving cunt

- yes girl completely wipe your ex husbands memory

- i don’t think anyone talked about tris’s terrible fucking tattoo enough

- yeah girl of course he’s wiping the memories of everyone in chicago

- she can do whatever she wants. she’s the protagonist

- peter cmon i liked you

- ok but like. the gas is still there? whatever

- i feel like this plot is not finished

- oh my god it’s not allegiant did so bad in box offices that they cancelled the fourth one. that’s hilarious. thank god.

[medicus-felini]

────────────────────────

name — Fungi

pronouns — she/her. they/them

preferred comms — I have no problem with tumblr IMs (it seems to be not as bugged as earlier). However, if we are mutuals and vibe, I prefer discord :)

name of muse(s) — Linn Urey :3c

experience in RP —Like half a year (?) I am a baby rper

best experiences — Ah, yes. I can tell some can guess I want to swoon about the whole Linn and Mr. 3 cinematic universe. AND HELL YES YOU ARE RIGHT ABOUT THAT! There are not enough words in the universe to describe how thankful I am for this weirdly spontanous ship. Namae's threads might be one of my all time favorites around here. Other than that, I absolutely adore all the dash comms and crack posts so much. One Piece rp just keeps giving. There are more I am sure but those are the ones stuck in my head dearly.

pet peeves / dealbreakers —I rarely have pet peeves or dealbreakers. I am super understanding and caring, it is hard to get on my nerves or scare me away. Maybe guilt tripping would be a reasonable answer here.

muse preference ( fluff, angst, smut ) — Fluff first. Fucking blends my heart. Scrambles it, makes me feel like having fever. I am a huge softie at heart. Next angst because I would not be a mother of countless ocs if I do not enjoy traumatizing and putting them in therapy the next moment. Smut lastly because the other two are more in favor of my interests and writing uvu (Still enjoy a good little lay, dont get me wrong)

plot or memes — Memes, although I do not despise plotting. Memes are just very easy and fun. Most people (me included) feel very shy and anxious to reach out if interested. Memes are a life savor ♥

long or short replies —Long-ish (?). I really feel like putting effort in how my muses feel inside and how they would interact exactly so short replies don't do it for me quite like long replies.

best time to write — Always after I had food. I can't write on an empty stomach. When it comes to time of the day, late afternoon :>

are you like your muse —Kind of, yes. We surely share some similarities like the politeness and interest in biology but I am ambitious. I tend to be quite open and take initiatives when I see some. Also I do not throw up hairballs.

────────────────────────

tagged by: fucking stole it >:) tagging: @waxgentleman @ferromagnetiic @snowdrcp @ravarui @phoenixbxrn @fieryxhearts

[strider-rambles]

holy shit the first motherfucking ramble is an emo one this shit crayz

anyway. uhm. man. as a kin(?) <- dubious but thats how ill be referring to myself for now ive always like. had such a tough time finding not only canonmates, but just.. sourcemates. in general. that i vibe with. i think perhaps my vibes are occasionally mad atrocious, but it's also like. OTHER PEOPLE are half of the issue too you know

takes two to motherfuckin tango, and bro, i'm stepping on these bitches' feet like it's dance dance revolution and like as a dave kin specifically. one who like. was quite young when i got into the fandom however many years ago and, even if i didn't know the term kin back then, i kinda.. knew. or, maybe the fuckin chicken (me) came before the egg (the kin) or whatever but

whatever. it resulted in me being.. kind of in a kinshift for like 4 years during the most formative years of my life

cray-z right

doesn;t matter its just like. because it's been such a present thing through my life ive met.. so many individuals who are like. you know. other kins which is great and all, but like

i haven't found people that i've vibed with for homestuck. the majority of the people i know and interact with now are comfortably in my little kin circle or whatever, are sort of the closest thing that i have to canonmates

nothing for homestuck. well nothing beyond a dirk. but i got lucky with him and i KNOW i got lucky with him because i. we're both kind of outcasts in the community, in the sense that we're. neurotic striders, i guess.

but he's like. helped a lot with the whole feeling alone and being all emotionally constipated about it thing.

but that doesn't help with the other shit

the missing my friends shit, the approaching so many fucking people bein' all like yooo whats GOOD bros and being hit with vibes that clash with mine or WORSE. vibes that WORK WITH ME. but they already have their dave

so whats the point you know?

i'm not going to be THEIR DAVE.

i have so many diverging fucking timelines and like

im dave. im davesprite. im every goddamn iteration of this stupid fucking asshole and MORE.

and

i hate the idea of being the secondary one, i guess. which is funny because. gestures. but like

it's gotten to the point where im so DESPERATE to find people. so DESPERATE to find my bros and my homies and my gals that i like i promised myself i wouldn't do this but i'm actively going "hey i can be your secondary dave, haha" you know. all fucking pathetic and shit

but i just.

i MISS my friends. so bad. and i think part of my struggle is like this is an OLDASS FANDOM. at least in terms of the internet, and so its harder to find people who have those roles unfilled, because like it's already.. you know.

and so like.

i'm stuck here. rambling into the fucking VOID on tumblr because i'm too. fucking. i dont know late??

funny to be late as a time player but womp womp motherfucker, pull yourself up by your bootstraps and start damage control

but like

in all seriousness. i'm losing mad hope

ive gone from being like hey, yall need a dave? to hey, yall need a davesprite? to. radio motherfuckin silence.

and as a result i kinda yap at dirk too much, which totally makes me tweak the fuck out, like, dude. he has a life (albeit a totally like. chill one, that aint all that busy) and he doesnt have the time to like tend to you like youre a child with scarlet fever, and every last word that your whiny little vocal cords can muster could be like... you know. your last. like his ass is NOT writing your obituary

and so like i pull away kinda. and like. because of that pulling away i suddenly have this like. yapping desire that needs to be fulfilled but like i like having peer review. like it keeps it from being a massive fucking echo chamber of just misery and bullshit and like.

yeah

and so i.

i don't know, man. i made this blog for a reason.

i don't know if i thought it would help, or if it would like. help me connect to people, or what

what am i even doin here dawg

like theres just this existential feeling of DREAD here. doomed timeline type shit lmfaoooo i don't know though i

it could bring something good

or this could be something terrible for me

or it could be like journaling. which i used to do in physical books, because i liked doodling back then, but, ive lost that hobby, so like

this exists

but i only journaled when i didn't have friends

i have friends

i think

i just understand that those friends don't want to listen to me. frankly i wouldn't either, i mean like. read this shit again. would you really wanna sit down with your bro and hear this type of shit i don't know. this kinda turned into. something horrible haha

i'm better mentally than i was 4 years ago but whats the point when i be bitchin and moanin and whinin like this still

point is:

i miss my friends. i miss yapping (at) with them. i miss having friends in the first place. i miss feeling like i'm home, kin wise. the irony of the matter is im LOCKED OUT OF THE HOUSE. instead of uhh (checks notes) HOMESTUCK.

haha. im so funny. haha. yeah. uh. ramble over for now. i might pick this shit back up.

[thelostdisaster82]

So once again ……

It all makes sense! From the white sand in my bed and only my side of the bed sheets comforter and mattress and pillows all wet the water next to the bed every time I get up in the middle of the night. My neighbor who knows a bunch of useless knowledge or at least pretends he does,. To me when they get talking I tone them out but for some reason there are few things my brain remembers….

1.“dry drowning.”

(When this airway closure happens and no water goes into your lungs, that’s technically dry drowning, explains Dr. Milk. “The injury happens from a lack of air and asphyxiation.”)

2. reflex called a laryngeal spasm.

3. Pulmonary edema

(causes you to have trouble breathing or experience frightening sensations like shortness of breath and chest tightness. “Liquid, or fluid, is actually in your airway,” he continues. “You’re kind of drowning in your own fluid, even though you’re not in the water.”)

4. Heavy, persistent coughing.

Shortness of breath or trouble breathing.

Fever

Dry mouth or foaming at mouth

Skin discoloration

So my neighbor old roommate was at his house grant u we haven’t seen her in few months since we had falling out bcuz I’m pretty sure she was screwing my husband . I called her out on it and she quit coming around or speaking to us. Or me at least I thought.

When we went over there she pops off with

Drowning would be a shitty way to die. I mean u just can’t breathe screw that. … i mean the cops done took my truck spray it down looking for blood on it couldn’t pin shit on us anyhow so fuck it!

My husband like ya hahaha

My neighbor says right then …

My neighbor starts going on about pulmonary edema Heavy, persistent coughing. Shortness of breath… their lungs fill up and they just quit breathing. Your lungs stop functioning correctly.

Idk wth the whole conversation ever came from bout drowning or anything and I was just completely flabbergasted.

And it hit me like a ton of bricks today.

My husband always telling me he gonna kill me and make it look like accident.

This would be exactly that. Im not a smoker yet when I walk from bedroom to bathroom im outta breathe my skin color has been off kinda grayish white and I feel like I’ve got something stuck in my throat all the time and I can’t seem to drink enough and Always have extremely dry mouth. Fevers on and off and the absolutely worst headache of my life and my legs and stomach and face are swollen.

The sad part is I just don’t fucking understand why someone who has done absolutely everything I could possibly do for him and yet he would want to hurt me like that? Craziness! It breaks my whole heart. Why would he do that to me? I know the other two people are fucked up sick twisted mf who I still ain’t scared of. Any man that has to sleep with pistol on his chest has some pretty fucked up demons and he says he shoots when they run well coward if ur gonna shoot me ur gonna look at me when u do it cuz I am not afraid to die….do me a favor but knowing the person u love would devise a plan like that? And as far as the fat bitch….I thought u was my friend but all u are is left overs has beens …with bleached out crotch panties….leave that shit at ur own house oh that’s right ……u don’t have one u lost it! I used to feel sorry for u but now I know why ur best friend friend fucked ur bf it’s called karma for doing the same to someone who didn’t even know ur ass yet I made ur bf look like bitch n took ur truck back left him on side of gas station looking like Edna bcuz u had to move out and he had taken ur truck. But it’s all good ! U will always be third wheel in ur threesomes…mf laugh at u bout ur sad notes u wrote them bout being third wheel … but my own husband to stoop down to this is beyond me. Gag is up Check mate mfs u lose….I’ll always be smarter than u! Not to mention I am Not a Holy person but I’m perfectly protected by my God! So kick rocks and eat fish heads…if something happens to me they know where to go!