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clariongradiation · 4 years ago

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what's up guess who still reads homestuck in this, the year of our lord, 2020. anyway here's every homestuck character in Among Us (under the cut because i do mean every character)

John: happy-go-lucky, way too trusting. always goes off to do his tasks immediately, is usually completely oblivious to who might be an imposter. pretty good as imp, just because no one suspects him right away, but if you pay attention he never tries to fake any tasks

Rose: makes strategic use of cams/admin table to achieve her goals, but due to this can be slow to complete her tasks. tends to filibuster the vote just because she types so much during meetings, but uses this to her advantage when she's imp to avoid getting voted out

Dave: also prefers to concentrate on tasks, but is way more observant than john. if he's sus of someone he'll follow them around to see if they're faking tasks. similar to rose, gets distracted in meetings coming up with raps instead of paying attention

Jade: likes to use the buddy system, but she'll carry it over between games so sometimes it makes her an easy target. will hang out in greenhouse/o2 when she's done with tasks. her gut sus feelings are pretty accurate in meetings, is a good imp but tries to avoid killing friends

Aradia: dgaf if she gets killed right away, will finish tasks then follow people around the map. if she’s haunting someone as a ghost they tend to get killed soon after. as imp she’s an impulse killer, but usually has pretty good timing so she doesn’t get caught in the act

Tavros: also task-focused, uses one of the little pets. has a hard time asserting himself in meetings, so even if he saw the kill he might not get around to accusing. regular victim of the imp pinning the blame on him. you can tell when he’s imposter because he gains Self Esteem

Sollux: ‘doesn’t play games for wiigglers’, but when he does he almost always wins. favors sabotages as imp, will use them to avoid meetings and get another kill. buddies up with the other imposter to get double kills, but will vote them out if they get caught

Karkat: adopts the loudest = rightest strategy in meetings. can usually be seen telling everyone to do their tasks and stop fucking around. not bad as imp, but gets flustered if someone accuses him out of the blue. sometimes gets voted out just so people don’t have to read his rants

Nepeta: master stalker, will vent kill with ruthless efficiency. always buddies up with equius, but will kill him and >:33c about it without mercy if she gets imp. draws fanart of the trolls as their among us avatars

Kanaya: precision killer, she’s slow but always makes absolutely sure she won’t get caught. extremely efficient at tasks, she’ll check on people’s visual tasks to see if they’re crew. will encourage tavros to type in meetings if he has something to say

Terezi: supreme detective, though sometimes she can get confused if her screen is too blurry. types a lot during meetings, but she’s always working around to an accusation (whether she’s imp or crew). big fan of sabotaging lights to get kills

Vriska: loud, bossy, forces votes. another impulse killer, if she gets caught killing she’ll bluster or point fingers to avoid getting accused. will randomly sabotage to throw people off. usually the one talking over tavros. has a 100% winrate if she gets imp with terezi

Equius: efficient as crew, but horrible as imp. never kills nepeta or anyone higher on the hemospectrum than him. won’t even vote them out even if he knows they’re the imp (gets too sweaty, has to find a towel, and will miss the vote)

Gamzee: will get distracted listening to game sounds or staring at the animations. if there are only a few tasks left to win, it’s a safe bet they’re his. (off sopor, he’s a ruthless killer that heavily favors venting, and is very good at deflecting blame onto someone else)

Eridan: no one likes to play with him because he always tries to turn it into some weird blackrom flirting. is a pretty good imp, but not very careful about getting caught because it’s ‘his right as a seqdwweller’. another one that gets voted out on principle (due to creepiness)

Feferi: just excited to be here, great team player. as imp she’ll kill people if she thinks they’re not doing their tasks fast enough. will apologize for kills in ghost chat if she gets voted off. almost never sabotages, but if she does it’s always one of the crises

Jane: hit-or-miss detective, good at putting cluse together but will take what people say at face value. can be pretty bossy, but you can tell if she’s imp because she doesn’t tell people to finish tasks. will vote someone out if she thinks they’re not working fast enough

Jake: like john will focus solely on tasks and be oblivious to imposters. unlike john, is bad at imp; gets stuck in his own head pretending to be a character from a movie and either doesn’t pay attention to people or forgets to do tasks. always surprised by kills, even his own

Roxy: as crew uses the buddy system, but as imp is absolutely ruthless; trust them at your own risk. great at distracting people in meetings by typing very fast. will accuse on instinct just to see what kind of reaction people have, very reliable about fixing sabotages

Dirk: another big talker, but no one ever gets what he’s talking about. sometimes gets distracted by watching cams and will forget to do tasks. is a good killer as imp, but his real specialty is getting people to think it’s someone else (either with accusations or with confusion)

Damara: completely chaotic, randomly won’t do tasks and will just follow people around. sometimes doesn’t even report bodies

Rufioh: good at encouraging crew, but pretty shy at killing. will usually skip vote if he’s imp, but is an accurate voter when crew

Mituna: single-minded focus on either tasks or killing. will ignore most sabotages, prefers to be alone unless he’s around latula

Kankri: doesn’t play as the game enforces harmful stereotypes about blood castes, culling, ableism, death, space travel, aliens, etc.

Meulin: always partnered with Kurloz, like nepeta is an excellent imp but can be distractable as crew. sometimes forgets to type during meetings

Porrim: extremely good at tracking what people are doing, will call out imposters that try to fake tasks, is Here for the Drama

Latula: runs around a lot, does tasks randomly, will follow mituna around to keep an eye on him, revenge kills imps that killed him earlier

Aranea: big talker, though she’ll get cut off by meenah. will buddy up to do tasks, but is also good at helping the other imp by sabotaging

Horuss: honestly pretty average, sometimes he wins and sometimes he loses. tends to ignore chat from those lower on the hemospectrum

Kurloz: never talks, seems to appear randomly around the map even if he can’t vent. usually hanging around meulin, even if one of them is the imp and the other is crew

Cronus: no one likes to play with him because he’s annoying, a creep, and an ass. usually voted off first on principle

Meenah: chaotic killer, will target one person then follow them around. doesn’t like doing tasks, but can be hassled into it by aranea. impulse votes in meetings

Calliope: helpful, full of headcanons, buddies up with Roxy. ifa lot of people are talking she’ll stay quiet, but has a lot of opinions and advice if asked. absolutely abysmal at imp (pre-scratch self is quieter, a solo player, and extremely good as imp)

Caliborn: loud, annoying, rage quits, tries to cheat. very easy to tell when he’s imp because he’ll act all superior in chat. gets voted out and banned a lot.

Dad: are ya winnin son

Bec, Halley, GCAT, Vodka Mutini, Jaspers, Maplehoof, Seppucrow: they are just leetol bebbies

Colonel Sassacre: doesn’t know what a computer is

Serenity: amazing player, but no one understands blinking

Liv Tyler: also amazing player, but doesn’t talk at all so no one understands

Itcy, Die, Cans: don’t really get it, but ok at killing

The Mayor, AR, CD, Doze, Sawbuck, Eggs, Biscuits, Ms. Paint, consorts, Squarewave: don’t really get it, but ok at tasks

PM, WK, HB, Trace, Fin, Matchsticks, Quarters: decent players

WQ, DD, Clover, Crowbar, Snowman/BQ, Stitch, Sawtooth: actually really good players

Jack/Spades Slick: only interested in killing

Doc Scratch: insufferably omniscient, wouldn’t play even if someone wanted him to

Andrew Hussie: probably plays among us irl

#homestuck #among us #long post

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autumnblogs · 4 years ago

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Day 16: Preoccupied by the same things as trolls

https://homestuck.com/story/2792

Not actually a whole lot of substance for all this dialogue, but we’ve got a few things.

I forgot how hostile Kanaya became toward Vriska, and it sounds to some extent like that’s how it is toward Tavros too? Girl really knows how to hold a grudge - Kanaya is a generally sweet girl, but she’s got a pretty uncontrollable temper when it comes to matters of the heart.

More after the break.

https://homestuck.com/story/2805

Rose is not a Prince, and if the inversion theory is true, she wouldn’t invert into one either, but the parallel between them here is about as clear as it can get. By Trolling Rose, Eridan makes it irritatingly obvious to Rose just how dangerous and uncooperative she’s becoming in her pursuit of knowledge and power by drawing these comparisons between the two of them. Ridiculous as they are, Eridan is right - Rose is becoming something of a villain, or at least a dangerously unstable anti-hero.

Rose, unlike most of the main characters who might be called antagonists, does not actually do anything especially heinous. She doesn’t kill anyone who doesn’t deserve it like Vriska does.

But she’s definitely turning into an antagonistic force nonetheless, and one whose actions will ultimately lead to the creation of the Green Sun - something which has to happen, but which nevertheless makes her Scratch’s dupe just like Vriska.

https://homestuck.com/story/2809

If Rose is a parallel to Vriska, and Aradia is a parallel to Vriska, perhaps there are some parallels between Aradia and Vriska. Not the least of which is being severely pessimistic young ladies who engage in reckless, self-destructive behavior to cope with their feelings of helplessness.

https://homestuck.com/story/2818

Gamzee is the reverse of Dave here, in a way.

Gamzee and Dave have both been under the influence of Lord English, more or less directly, their entire lives, and in time, Gamzee inherits Lil Cal. Gamzee’s crisis of faith turns him into a villain, and he exits the story as a character, becoming more or less a plot element.

Dave will also get to enjoy his crisis of faith before long when Bro dies, and separated from him, he’ll have the opposite experience - becoming a far happier and more chill person, but pretty irrelevant to the plot.

https://homestuck.com/story/2825

Dave gets trolled by Trolls along the same basic lines Rose does. Equius’ preoccupation with Hierarchy may not seem like it reflects on Dave, but Dave is clearly unsettled by his relationship with John as second banana in terms of power - there’s no way he can catch up. Dave is not the hero, in spite of all the symbols associated with him that should make him the hero. He’s the sidekick.

https://homestuck.com/story/2836

Here’s a fresh take. Dave’s Broken Symbol, and his Broken Sword, are both emblematic of the fact that he “flunked” Bro’s training. Dave is not the strongest. He is not the most badass. He is not even all that cool.

But what Dave is is genuinely creative. He’s a cunning lateral thinker. Practical, to the point, reliable. Dave isn’t the aloof guy who always wins that Bro tried to turn him into, and having his sword broken and his disc scratched are both symbols of that failure - but they are also symbols of transformation, and of coming into one’s own strengths after becoming disillusioned with a false sense of pride.

Dave might not be able to pull the sword out of the stone - he’s not the destined King. But there’s more than one way to skin a cat.

https://homestuck.com/story/2848

Let’s do some more theme association.

If the Squiddles are the Dark Gods, and Squiddles are also symbols of intimacy, maybe there’s some degree to which the impulses stoked by the Dark Gods are unifying impulses - the desire to become tangle buddies with your pals are at basic odds with the fact that you are a separate individual with your own body and your own will. The union of the real, one, unique self, Skaia, with the realm of all unrealized possibility, the Furthest Ring, is what the Dark Gods are after, but that union would be destructive to Skaia - perfect unity with the Horrorterrors would have it cease to be Skaia at all.

https://homestuck.com/story/2850

Following the same pattern to analyze this set of troll-human relationships.

I wonder if Jade comes across as cloying and condescending as Feferi does to her friends? Is she afraid that she does?

https://homestuck.com/story/2853

If we’re paying attention to these particular conversations because of the Trolls’ preoccupations with the same things that the characters are anxious and preoccupied about is any indication, Jade’s psyche is in way worse condition than just about anybody’s right now.

What I’m saying here is that the Trolls almost certainly contact the kids and have far more conversations in general than we get to see - Act 5 has already started to play around with skipping conversations and interactions that aren’t mission critical, and only paying attention to the ones that are relevant to the overall character arcs.

Karkat contacts Jade and airs the grievances that she’s currently feeling internally - Karkat all but literally is Jade’s monster headache. The two of them are frustrated over their sleeping situation and have had the exact same response to encountering the Dark Gods.

Jade is, in pretty short order, going to have to confront the same self-loathing and anger issues that Karkat has too, and this conversation serves as an immediate prelude to that.

And while it’s a pretty short line, Karkat is right - Jade suddenly understands Jack Shit.

Prospit’s destruction has completely shattered her expectations.

https://homestuck.com/story/2868

Wow! And just like that, those anger issues come right to the surface. Jade is noticeably nastier to John than she’s ever been to just about anybody but Karkat in this conversation!

https://homestuck.com/story/2880

Jade and John are task-focused, and don’t really talk much with each other about what’s going on inside of their heads - they talk about the events that are happening to them, and what they’re doing.

Which is to say that of the pair Problems and Feelings, Prospit Dreamers are more about Problems, and Derse Dreamers are probably more about feelings.

https://homestuck.com/story/2887

Now that we’re getting a chance to know the real Jade, one of the character traits I’m immediately finding she shares in common with Feferi is their sort of motherly disapproval of their friends’ choices - one of the conversations I’ve had recently with some friends about this (including @bladekindeyewear) has pegged one of Jade’s flaws as being “smothering” and it comes out in the way that she dunks on John’s preferences.

I’m going to show my ass here a little by making this reference, but it reminds me of Rarity from Friendship is Magic just a tiny bit. Maybe Rarity is a Witch too, although of what Aspect, I wouldn’t be able to tell you right now.

https://homestuck.com/story/2922

It’s extremely easy to forget that Rose pretty much unilaterally decided on the behalf of the rest of the team, more or less without consulting them, to sabotage their game of Sburb, and while it was always destined to fail, the fact that Rose chooses to destroy the game instead of playing the game is suggestive of the fact that she bears some level of accountability for the misfortunes throughout.

I’m not trying to play the blame game so much as I am trying to draw connections to help explain why I see Rose and Vriska as being fairly alike, and not just by merit of being Light Players, but also in terms of the role that they play in Act 5 - they are both manipulating and organizing timeline events in order to get the other players to do things that are contrary to their seeming interests, neither of them listens to the pleas of the people who love them to stop, and their actions ultimately lead to (at least temporary) catastrophe.

Rose is dangerous to herself and her team, and she doesn’t much care.

Or she at least tries hard not to feel too bad about it while having serious and obvious misgivings about her own actions. Knowing that there is a problem and ignoring it anyone is like looking at your face in the mirror and immediately turning away and forgetting what your face looks like.

https://homestuck.com/story/2927

And with that, we’ll pause for the evening. Not as many pages as usual, but a hell of a lot of text.

Cam signing off, Alive and not Alone.

#liveblogging #commentary

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dahniwitchoflight · 5 years ago

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Homesquared Chapter 4

I cheated and some of my chapter 4 thoughts leaked into the chapter 3 post lol

Mostly about the pretty obvious Garden of Eden metaphor Dirk is for some reason setting up for himself and Rose as Adam and Eve

and I was about to say which begs the question of what the heck role Terezi is supposed to play as but then it’s very obviously as the Snake in the Garden

Terezi is very much just barely holding back some irritation towards how Dirk is treating Rose, but she’s also very intelligent and is aware of How much Dirk sees/knows and controls about their situation, so she’s probably leveraging her powers over Mind as much as possible in order to stay hidden in plain sight from Dirk’s narrative

and she does so in a way that is one of Dirk’s only blindspots - How Mind and other people have an effect in the determination of the Soul/Heart

By acting in a manner and doing things in a way that aligns with his expectations of her, he assumes and pigeonholes her into a type of character and bases his predictions of her behaviors off of that archtype, never expecting her to act outside it, and when he sees her actions and thoughts and desires all align within it, never questions that it might one day change or was different all along. Dirk’s never really been good at reading other people, can’t see without the lens of “how would I do it” blinding him to things he would never think to do, a trap that he keeps falling into with his friends and one he’s probably trying to overcome by becoming Ultimate God Person/combining all perspectives into his own and uncovering blindspots like that

But right now Mind is the darkest thing in is corner still and I think he sort of knows that as well

Terezi walks the crazy wiggled line boundary between their two Souls that defines who each of them is, as expertly as a person on a tightrope, never wavering until she reaches her destination, at which point she’ll leap off of that line and leave Dirk scrambling to try and calculate her next move/who exactly is she/what her goals are, since’s it won’t be following the clearly defined Heart boundary he’s used to drawing his plans by, so she’ll have to choose the perfect moment in order to entice Eve of the Apple of Revelation once more, heck, she might even do that so sneakily that she gets Adam to take a bite as well, since as soon as Rose bites it she’ll have an ally with her against Dirk.

For God created the Serpent originally as well, so thus why did he not imagine it’s betrayal and prevent it before it could have happened? Or else why did he create something he knew was going to betray? Eden was a paradise, so why intentionally create Evil in that paradise?

If Eve corrupted Adam and the Snake corrupted Eve, Who exactly corrupted the first Serpent? That’s something that the bible never goes into really, at least in Genesis, except to say that the Snake was punished for it’s action to forever crawl the earth eating the dust of man’s heel, punishing all snakes, as Adam and Eve’s punishment punished all humans

(Later I think the bible would try to say that the Snake was the Devil all along, but then why punish the Snake and all it’s progeny for it? If it was the Devil’s doing that undid Adam and Eve then why punish them for the Devil’s actions they would have no way of guarding against or now way of knowing it was a lie? Was it not God’s failure? The Walls of the Garden of Eden were supposed to protect his perfect creation afterall)

Gotta say though I really Rose’s design

I would call her Evil Rose, but she things she does she does in ignorance, not really out of evil, it would be like calling Eve evil for listening to the Snake when she was purposefully blinded to it’s intentions by her creation by God.

Once again we get this idea of Knowledge and Choice affecting eachother, Well I say again but really I’ve been watching RWBY a lot lately and the idea that you can’t make a real choice without real knowledge comes up a lot in it’s mythos and it is really applicable here

Terezi’s design as well is incorporating a lot more Red, she really dug those red shoes aesthetic but gave it her own twist, she’s got a red tie, her ever present red cane and glasses and even in that shot of her her horns look more red and solid as well, even though i know it’s just the lighting

So really digging the whole Terezi is the Apple/Snake in the Garden metaphor, she has also been having that tendency to just snack on random plants, intentionally for her own or Dirk’s unaware benefit or not, it’ll make it that much easier to her actions of later betrayal to be seen as “in character and therefore expected and not dangerous” instead of pre-meditated and actually dangerous, to him

And then they start waxing about their various philosophical babble, Dirk seems really determined to also use this to try and figure out that whole problem of how other’s affect the self, he’s trying at least, I think, in his own way. But not for a good reason, not so that he can have a real understanding of that, but because he wants to use it to guard his own self even further

He’s maybe not using Rose here as an equal player, but more like a wall to bounce his own ideas off of and test them, like using a neural learning AI to test ideas or an actual literal wall in a game of table tennis.

Heh, I got a chuckle out of the fact that Dirk’s answer to the Ship of Theseus problem is “why does we even have to remove and replace parts of it, why not keep the original pristine and eternal?”

because it’s funny how avoidant of the problem that answer is, man he really really is uncomfortable with the idea of changing the self in any way

“He's avoiding the question again. It's amazing how one can technically have the maximum amount of metaphysical personal awareness possible, and still not notice these sorts of things. “

SAYS LITERALLY YOU but honestly this is just more fuel to the idea that maybe he can make a genuine connection and understanding with a person if he can recognize how he and her are the same

“It's stuff like this that makes me wonder sometimes whether there's anything about myself that I'm missing. Then I throw that wonder in the garbage can and turn the incinerate setting on.”

but nah he’s still firmly denying that possibility, he’s almost actually equating his trauma of self erosion with the idea that making friends and understanding others changes the self in subtle ways as well

He can’t even stand the thought of his own close friends influencing him to be different in small subtle ways or adjusting his behavior for others because that STILL counts as a change of self that he didn’t authorize or choose.

Also can’t help but by be reminded of my wacky little fan made Gamma session I made forever ago by them using the name Delta-Detritus and basically be like alright, what if we do SBURB again but BETTER/worse this time?? Which is essentially the thread that most Homestuck fix it fanfiction tends to go towards

Though I am curious now

We got A/Alpha for Alternia which is based of off “Alternate” introducing the trolls as an alternate race to Human Earth

B/Beta for Beforus which is based of off “Before” introducing the planet of trolls that came before the first group

And then Earth C, now, there isn’t a letter C, the third in the greek alphabet is actually Γγ Gamma, (and the fourth is ΔδDelta)

So I wonder what “name” Earth C really has?

It feels like it should either start with C OR with GA, as Alternia starts with the AL of Alpha, Beforus starts with the BE of Beta and same with Deltritus and Delta

As as “Another for Earth” Gaia isn’t a terrible option all things considered, now you just have to make it sound like a word which describes it’s use to the narrative

It’s is a very split place, having the two timelimes Meat and Candy associated with it, as well it does feel extremely mercurial in nature, being a sort of crosswords between Homestuck and Homesquared proper, and really exists in a place between stories, an ephemeral epilogue of sorts

really a merger of Gaia and Gemini feels the most appropriate here, like Gamini, also the word mini stands out in there as well, knowing that this Planet is sort of on a lesser status compared to the other three since it’s not going to be the birthplace of a session, also has the word Game in it

But then people will wonder why it doesn’t begin with a C since it still is called Earth C so *shrug*

Honestly C K and G sounds are all very similar in the tongue, so maybe it’s both Camini and Gamini at the same time OH FUCK CA AND GA, ONE HAS CALLIOPE ONE HAS GAMZEE? SHIT IM ONTO SOMETHING (no im not)

I like Camini now better, it comes from a place of Gamma/Gamzee/Game/Gemini but ends up being more about the twinned Ca’s that were used to, Caliborn and Calliope and fits with the establish Earth C theme

So there you go, Earth C’s actual planet name should be Camini

which also works because:

Camini

home stove/furnace

smelting/foundry furnace, forge

vent (underground fires)

according to the latin language this word also has multiple meanings and many Irons in the Fire, I think the fandom will appreciate the name haha

Yeah both races are definitely going to both be playing one game of SBURB, despite what Dirk is intending, the pic does make it really clear

There’s something to say how Dirk seems to be represented by Purple and Rose by Orange in this here and then how all of the cave is a backdrop of that same purple.

Look at even the controllers on the machine having purple and orange knobs, even being solely on Dirk’s side of the image

I guess Dirk intends himself to be the force behind Derse, since that’s the force that always “wins” and Rose fitting in her place as the ultimate loser (since of course Dirk will want to win his own game) but also to be like Skaia the force of Prospit

So Dirk intends to be a whisperer like a horrorterror, choosing to manifest his influence that way, while Rose will give visions to her race like Skaia?

makes sense honestly

but again even with the themes of duality, the theme of the trio is bright and center in that piece of ultimately technology, the third influence hidden unseen in the furthest corner behind the curtain of snakelike tubes and wires that Dirk will not expect to interfere, or even have the capability to interfere, Terezi

heck it’s even in the buttons next to the controls being colored red blue and green

there’s so much duality in homestick with destructive red and creative green but then there’s also always been that mercurial breathy blue as the third

God, tell me that doesn’t look like a baby proto horrorterror

I can hear it raging it’s revenge against it’s cruel human creators even as I type

No wonder they become associated with destruction, they know theyre the pawns of two heartless cruel god children playing at life like it was a game

Rose you MUST KNOW how bad this is, it’s not a theoretical discussion anymore, that things exists and is alive and has feelings and you did it to that

and that thing is technically a Dirk too

Is this how Dirk get’s his revelation? Or downfall? As his Heart is unwittingly invaded by the horrified cacophanous screams of his grotesque tortured progeny crying out for his blood?

His end unintentionally ending up as the thing he feared most? Inner self destruction caused by his own sharp and bloody splinters turned and pointed inward, tearing himself apart with the pieces of his own Soul? Caused by his own Hubris?

I will say typing that all out is pretty good

I’m just sad the same will probably happen to Rose too though ): Maybe she’ll make careful more humane species? Something that has the potential to exist and be happy as it’s own creature while Dirk just creates monstrosities forever in conflict with Rose’s race?

They’ll each be the master of their own eventually destinies I suppose but Homestuck seems to have a good track record so far of the Ultimate Female Creator being out to protect the happiness of the children that exist in her creation while the Ultimate Male God just ends up destroying everything in his

#Homesquared #Homestuck^2 #Dirk Strider #Rose Lalonde #Terezi Pyrope #long post

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bladekindeyewear · 5 years ago

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HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-04-13

Happy 4/13 upd8! Glimpsed part of the title when I was checking but otherwise blind.

Time to liveblog this quickly and pile into RevScarecrow’s first-readthrough stream of Cascade. It REALLY hurts to see him tortured having to read through long conversations with dyslexia, but at least he gets to draw purer enjoyment out of the huge flashes.

EDIT: Added an important clarification from a friend to the bottom, regarding the tail end of the upd8.

Well here we go. Whose daughter? Candy Vrissy as Rose/Kanaya’s? Or some weirder metaphorical Roxy/RoboRose thing.

> CHAPTER 8. A Daughter Astray

Huh, not where I thought we’d start a chapter named like that. We can’t leave Candy so soon after cutting to it though.

JANE: Assassinations, open warfare, so-called "revolution," and where has everyone gone? JANE: They've ABANDONED me. They've taken our precious son. And now...

Are we going to see some of the beginnings of John’s plan in action, from her perspective?

> (==>)

Steven King novels??? Like an IT joke? Sure, I guess?

DIRK: Itadakimasu.

I mean he would. Especially the Jake-imagined version of him.

JANE: "An eye for an eye." JANE: Once we have rescued our son from their clutches, I'm going to take something of my own; something as valuable to the rebellion as Tavvy is to me. JANE: Two can play at the hostage game. That loathsome daughter of theirs should fit the bill nicely.

Okay. That’s certainly a plan, I guess.

Wow, she really runs everything by the seat of her pants, doesn’t she.

(She seems less murderous than usual now that the spotlight of HS^2 is on her instead of Epilogue darkness, though, all things considered. Walking back some of the negativity of the Epilogues in general. That’s the impression I get anyway.)

> (Kids: Converse.)

Vriska, come on.

--Oh! Oh and there’s:

That middle photo! Harry, Roxy, and Calliope hanging out, yes! Glad to see Candy Roxy and Callie were definitely not as distant as they appeared throughout the Epilogues when we were being convinced everything was going out-of-character as a Meat!Callie-written fanfic instead of what Roxy would plausibly actually do. (Which... it kinda was, so they need to soften the blow by showing not everything was ruined by the way it was written.)

((And there are lots of cats everywhere, but this is outside Harry’s room so it’s all Roxy, no classpect.))

HARRY ANDERSON: so... HARRY ANDERSON: um. vriska? VRISKA: The one and o........ VRISKA: (Ughhhhhhhh) VRISKA: I mean, yeah. That's me!!!!!!!!

It’s hard to get enough of Vriska’s irritation with her reduced relevance.

VRISKA: From now on your name is just Harry. HARRY: o... k?

Dick move, but I have to thank you for shortening his chat handle there.

HARRY: but um, yeah. john and roxy are my parents.

Yeah, deal with that, Vriska. Nice job wooing John. :)

Aaaand then Harry’s Egbert genes kick in and he starts going off on a tangent describing a piece of media he likes with a situation barely mappable onto this one.

HARRY: ok, so have you ever seen the musical calamity jane? HARRY: i guess you probably haven't. HARRY: but so there's this part at the beginning, where the title character comes back from chicago, and she talks to all of the old-timey locals about how bizarre and new-fangled everything was, and VRISKA: Godddddddd it really is like talking to teenage John all over again. VRISKA: No I haven't seen Chastity Jane or whatever the stupid title was. It sounds like a total snooze!!!!!!!!

Calamity Jane and Chastity Jane. Probably means nothing.

VRISKA: And anyway, what are you trying to say? VRISKA: That I sound outd8ed?

HA. Now you’re a boomer! Eat that Vriska.

HARRY: i mean, we've done stage fighting before, but never the real stuff. HARRY: but i bet i could learn. i took kickboxing with my mom for a month and half when i was nine.

Yaaay Roxy-style martial ar-- oh wait only a month and a half, huh?

We’ll have to see if he’s really as inexperienced and kinda-thinking-too-well-of-himself as he looks, or if this is all just a joke setup for when he proves to be pretty combat capable later.

VRISKA: He totally freaked out the first time I told him I killed some8ody. HARRY: haha, that sounds like my dad.

Harry and Vrissy look clearer together by the minute, dynamic-ways.

But now he's not so sure. Ever since hearing that one of his dad's old friends had turned up, that border between past and present has felt fainter by the minute. And as they talk, he begins to think that Vriska seems so much... fresher. More real. An actual, authentic, bona fide god from another universe. Harry can’t imagine his dad even talking to someone like her, let alone punching her in the face.

Freaking out about murder, though; that's definitely something Harry can see his father doing.

Kind of like a fresh breath of relevance, huh? I mean Vriska had to carry a little in with her.

HARRY: i'm not allowed ONE vriska in my bedroom. HARRY: i don't even want to THINK about how much trouble i'll be in if she finds out i had TWO of them up there.

PFFFF.

And Roxy grew up the kind of mom to set those limits, huh? Nice. She’s definitely proving a less lonely and inscrutable mom than she was to Rose. (And Rose had the additional disadvantages of Horrorterror- and Gamzee-induced fear- and certainty-amplification to help drive her to believe her mother hated her, on TOP of all of Mom’s glaring flaws/abuses vis-a-vis drunken responsibility-aversion.)

HARRY: of course i am freaking out vriska! HARRY: i'm freaking out what i think is probably a good amount about this. the fashionable amount of freaking out.

I’m starting to really take a liking to this asshole.

HARRY: he's going to absolutely flip his fucking lid if he ever finds out about this!! HARRY: or worse, it might just make him as miserable as before, and he'll be really disappointed in me, and then he'll just leave again, or... or SOMETHING!!

Auugh. God damnit, Past!John, raising him to believe this. Luckily, Current!John will most likely disabuse him of the notion at least SOMEWHAT by the end of this story.

BECAUSE JELLICLES CAN AND JEEEEEEELLICLES DO JELLICLES DO AND JELLICLES CAN JELLICLES CAN AND JEEEEEELLICLES HARRY: oh fuck.

Why is he hiding the CATS poster in his room, but has a whole ringtone set up with it? Either a global one or a John-specific one?

Is it John-specific because he has to outwardly play it cool about how much he loves and needs his dad, just like Cats?

VRISSY: Check it out, someone's already cospl8ying my fit from tod8y.

Oh nice! Inborn popularity at work.

VRISSY: Good? It's Infuri8ing!!!!!!!! VRISSY: UGH! So many f8ke accounts pretending to 8e me. Stealing my hard-earned Clout. Fakey f8ke F8KES.

Mhmm, why give up any attention? She wouldn’t want to share it.

VRISSY: Damn Right it's import8nt Tavros! Image is a8out as Important as it gets.

(classpect blah blah)

VRISSY: Relax Tavvy. VRISSY: You're starting to Sweat Nervously. You know I H8te it when you Swe8t Nervously. TAVROS: Thank you,, VRISSY: Th8t wasn't a Fucking H8mance Complim8nt, I do genuinely Hate it and not in a Fun Way. TAVROS: Oh,, TAVROS: I'm,, sorry,,,, VRISSY: Ugh. Whatever. VRISSY: I'm just... 8eing a 8itch. Forget about it.

Look how INCREDIBLY much more mature Vrissy is right here than Vriska ever was.

And Vrissy’s understandably a lot more worried than we are about Vriska moving in on Harry. Even though with Vriska’s experience she would hardly be likely to see anything in him to--

Oh. Fuck, what am I saying. Of COURSE Vriska would be tempted to move in if it meant stealing attention from Vrissy. I keep forgetting this is ORIGINAL VRISKA we’re talking about. That’s got to be a conflict at some point, right?

TAVROS: I know you don't like to talk about these kinds of things,, TAVROS: Having said, on previous occasions, stuff like,, TAVROS: "Feelings are for adults and babies, not real people," TAVROS: And i'm not,, necessarily, saying that you have some unaddressed feelings, TAVROS: But,, maybe if we're going to be around her, TAVROS: You should try to be honest, about the feelings, that you don't have,,

Nailed it like a true Tavros.

VRISSY: It's Something about the W8y she Looks at him. VRISSY: The Rest of us too. VRISSY: Like we're not even Real.

That’s right. Making it important that you be extra careful that she doesn’t hurt you, because she’ll undoubtably or neglectfully TRY.

VRISSY: And to 8e Honest, I think I Understand why! VRISSY: Everything Here is so dwee8ish and 8oring!!!!!!!!

A little more complicated than that, Vrissy.

TAVROS: Because you're worried harry anderson thinks she's cooler than you,, TAVROS: Because you're jealous,,,, VRISSY: W8. VRISSY: What? VRISSY: No! VRISSY: Tavros, were you Listening to 8NYTHING I was Just Saying? VRISSY: I'm not worried a8out Harry Fucking 8nderson right now! VRISSY: Hell, I'm so Unconcerned that I think I'm going to start just calling him Harry from now on! It'll Save Everyone a lot of Valua8le Time! VRISSY: Listen Tavros, Vriska will get 8ored of Harry in a Heart8eat! VRISSY: That's the whole point!!!!!!!! VRISSY: She shouldn't 8e w8sting her Time on someone like Him! VRISSY: SHE SHOULD BE T8LKING T8 ME!!!!!!!!

Hm, jealous of the attention Vriska’s giving Harry, not the other way around. Huh!

And here come the Crocker cops...

> (Harry: Pick up.)

Wait, I don’t understand this picture. Who are those two silhouettes outside? Isn’t this Roxy’s house? (Is that Jake facing away on the left? Them being already here would be pretty good reason for alarm.)

HARRY: ok everyone, my dad's calling. HARRY: if he finds out you're here then he will definitely put two and two together, so PLEASE just keep quiet and let me do the talking.

Is John going to play along? That could be fun.

Hm. If Harry hasn’t turned off his phone’s signal, then that could be a way Jane can find and use him to find Vrissy. (Or already have.)

HARRY: er, HARRY: hi dad. VRISKA: HI JOHN!!!!!!!! VRISSY: Hi Mister Eg8ert!!!!!!!!! HARRY: oh god dammit.

THEIR NEED FOR ATTENTION BYPASSES ALL SURVIVAL INSTINCT.

JOHN: HELLO SON! JOHN: I AM JOHN: SO JOHN: VERY JOHN: PROUD OF YOU!!!!!!!! HARRY: JOHN: PHEW, that felt good to say. JOHN: or to yell, i guess. heheh. JOHN: sorry about that, harry anderson. JOHN: i just didn't think i'd be seeing your handiwork all over the news quite so soon!

Yeah, John really needs to take a page or two out of his Dad’s playbook right now! Because Harry really fucking doubts that his father is proud of him, and John’s Dad would never have let him come under such a misconception.

JOHN: it looks like you tried to pull one of the biggest pranks i can think of. JOHN: and it backfired! HARRY: y... yeah. JOHN: but that's ok!!! JOHN: it could have happened to the best of us. JOHN: ok, so maybe it wasn't the most original idea. JOHN: and you should probably have steered clear of such a blatant nod to weekend at bernie's without seriously planning some of the logistics in advance.

John, please stop so aggressively framing this in terms of YOUR interests.

JOHN: heh. two vriskas is NOTHING. JOHN: when i was your age i lost count of all the vriskas i had to keep track of. JOHN: it was probably some preposterous number.

¬_¬”

JOHN: now, harry anderson, i know that you and tavros haven't always gotten along. JOHN: but i am going to have to ask you to try and look out for him for the time being.

Harry could really use some reassurance from YOU you know? That you’re working to make sure he’ll be okay through all this?

JOHN: your uncle jake and i... well, i'll explain later. JOHN: let's just say that gamzee isn't the only family member jane is losing today. HARRY: dad... if you wanted me to KILL tavros, you only had to ask. TAVROS: (Um,,,) HARRY: couldn't resist.

What? Moved for custody in the divorce?

I feel like the divorce is SOMEHOW involved in whatever John is referring to here. Even though the Epilogues say that Jane initiated it. Maybe we’ll find out later that in the cut from then to now, Jane apologized a bit and didn’t go through with it, but he still had the papers to finalize it, or? No, that doesn’t quite add up with what Jake was afraid of before... hm.

> (==>)

Oh, the paparazzi. THAT’S a problem.

JOHN: the word "fuck" was invented for moments like this.

Nothing to comment on, just had to quote it.

JOHN: some guidelines that any budding prankster or newly fledged fugitive should know. JOHN: don't panic, JOHN: don't make a scene, JOHN: and whatever you do... JOHN: don't get caught!!

This is a reference to something, right?

> (High above the clouds...)

Jesus, that’s a visual. Hi, probably-the-only-source-of-happiness-between-Kanaya-and-Rose-we-might-have-onscreen-up-until-the-very-end. (Are those cat chairs, or just headrests with lil horns?)

As the world seethes with the acid sting of war, they have stood steadfast and resolute; when hope has seemed at its most distant, they have shone as a beacon of possibility.

Further cementing Hope’s ties to possibility, then.

Individually, they each represent immeasurable gains for the rebel faction. The rebellion's stratagems have never had a fiercer bite; their uniforms have never looked so fucking sharp.

Why you gotta do Kanaya like that, narrative?

> (==>)

Full glow? Kanaya must be nervous.

(I don’t think this short hair on Rose quite does the justice that short hair on her should. I suppose it’s punk to match her clothes, though. Still, I feel like short hair should look SO GOOD on Rose and the style chosen just doesn’t here.)

ROSE: I just wish I had answers!! My useless powers aren't being any help, and what's worse, ROSE: I can't see ANYTHING useful on this stupid news channel!!

I can imagine that a Seer of Light might find it harder to operate in a realm long void of most of its relevance, not to mention whatever measure of strength she gave up to concede herself into the “specific” and not ult-self manifest... but there are two Thieves of Light involved here and no Void players, beyond this being at Roxy’s house. Are they really stealing that much visibility from the situation to not blaze like beacons in Rose’s vision?

ALFONZ: excuse me mA'Ams

I don’t know how to feel about this troll’s name or quirk.

Kanaya’s ending every sentence with a shout pole, by the way.

> (==>)

ALFONZ: the reconnAissAnce teAm is bAck eArly, mA'Ams ALFONZ: the ship docked A few moments Ago ROSE: And the scouting party??? ALFONZ: i expect she's Zipping her wAy up here now, mA'Am

Karkat and Meenah? That’s just a singular “she”-- ah fuck it’s Jade isn’t it. The Jade here who had Dave ditch her suddenly to become a robot and abscond without telling her. That’s why there was so much talk about Jade in the background today, dammit. Please still be generally not despairing???

> (==>)

What is that bulky suit????? Is it seven layers of sweaters? Was she scouting the arctic??

> (==>)

Angry camo?

> (==>)

KANAYA: Jade It Is Okay JADE: its........ JADE: *sniffle* KANAYA: Please Take Your Time JADE: we dont HAVE any time!!! JADE: its too late!!!!!! JADE: janes forces were just too fast... KANAYA: Oh No ROSE: You don't mean... JADE: theyve taken her

Jade, you aren’t talking about Vrissy. Who the fuck ARE you talking about? Is this gonna be a punchline again?

> (==>)

JADE: THEYVE TAKEN YIFFY!!!!!!! D:

Okay, I’m hoping for the best but there’s precedent that this is Jade in full fucking despair mode right now. Having named pets like that and being this concerned about them.

Then again, if Dave and Jade had a pet they WOULD name it that wouldn’t they.

> (==>)

Sigh.

Well, let’s hope it’s mostly sunshine and rainbows on Jade’s front, unlike what it looks like?

That can be a caption for HS^2 going into the next two thirds of 2020 like this. “Let’s hope it’s mostly sunshine and rainbows.” Catch y’all another time.

EDIT: Oh fucking MAN, it might not be a pet after all. Quoting Discord:

[REDACTED] Today at 5:20 PM there’s a reason Rose knows but Kanaya wouldn’t possibly and look back at the chapter title BlastYoBoots Today at 5:21 PM I'll... correct that possibility. Did NOT realize it could have been a pet name for Dave instead of a pet. wait, what? no, they'd never have named a daughter that, Dave is NOT that cruel. (unless it could be nickname-shortened to that, that's just enough plausible deniability for Dave to hide behind.) [REDACTED] Today at 5:22 PM If it were a pet name for Dave, why would they use she/her in reference to him? JANE: Two can play at the hostage game. That loathsome daughter of theirs should fit the bill nicely. BlastYoBoots Today at 5:22 PM oh, and you're implying that the surrogate daughter thing happened with Jade and Rose-- [REDACTED] Today at 5:22 PM yes BlastYoBoots Today at 5:22 PM OH, and that they meant like, not Vrissy? [REDACTED] Today at 5:23 PM perhaps BlastYoBoots Today at 5:23 PM Why would Rose NOT tell Kanaya about her then? or is Kanaya just not interested in keeping up to date? [REDACTED] Today at 5:23 PM unless the yiffy ruse is a distaction BlastYoBoots Today at 5:23 PM it would be a pretty spectacular thing to spring on us though, a child the epilogues didn't mention, so...

SO, this could be a cheeky pet name for their daughter, who we’ve never met and Jane just legitimately planned to kidnap in front of us. Making Davebot’s abandonment of this timeline all the more dickish, essential as it might be. On the upside, new interesting HS^2-original characters that have nothing explicitly to do with the epilogues! (Beyond Jade hinting at how a surrogate child would be conceived possibly!) Plus another reason for Jade to steel herself and buck up about Dave not being there, to take care of her daughter, possibly. On the downside... Robo!Dave is going to be a little infuriating. Maybe to make him a little more palatable to miss if he goes down doing anything dramatic.

((EDIT2: "ROSE: Where is John? KANAYA: Where Is Dave" --ah FUCK, I missed that line. So if Kanaya's asking that, Dave probably only just vanished... I really was hoping she wouldn't have to deal with that onscreen.))

#Homestuck #hs2 #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #Homestuck^2 #bladekindeyewear #blastyoboots

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cookiefonster666 · 6 years ago

Text

Thoughts on the Homestuck Epilogues (Tumblr Edition)

I predicted the future!

Might as well adapt this Blogspot post I made about a week ago into Tumblr form, why not. With a few minor changes. I don’t like using Tumblr but I figure it’s a good additional platform to share my surprisingly positive views on the Homestuck Epilogues.

The epilogues have a lot of controversial content, most of which I avoid talking about here.

BRIEF SUMMARY

4/20, read through Meat: epilogues pretty good

4/20, started Candy: what the fuck

4/21, stopped: aaaaaaaaughhhhh bluh i hate everything

4/24-ish, continued Candy: epilogues alright i guess also i am sad now

4/27-ish, finished: I LOVE HOMESTUCK

BRIEF-ISH SUMMARY

Meat was a wild ride that started as cool plot stuff and things that make you go "OH FUCK", continued as basically chapters 7-9 of Detective Pony (which I naturally enjoyed a lot), and ended as a mess of sheer chaos and destruction. My thought process ended as, "oh duh, this is the bad ending, candy must be the good ending". I was in for quite the nasty surprise.

I quit reading Candy just a few pages in. It didn't take long for it to suddenly become the weirdest fanfiction ever. Frustrated, I started skipping and searching through later parts and got rather salty when it turned out both sides were the "bad ending". I saw firsthand what vfromhomestuck meant by "clear your whole week": this is not something most people can just read in one sitting. Then I recovered a few days and read Candy in earnest, in a somewhat anachronous order and with many parts read multiple times. Slowly, I started to hope that the epilogues would be followed up with a true happy ending for real this time. I may or may not have written a snippet of some form of fanfiction paving the way for a happy ending.

Once I finally accomplished the equivalent of reading Candy as intended, I got hit HARD with feels. I accepted that the epilogues have many issues but as a whole (not just the sum of parts) are an absolute masterwork, sometimes because of those issues. It didn't take me long to realize the brilliant duality either. Meat is a side-splitting metafictional farce that (for me at least) is impossible to treat as anything resembling a story of people doing things. Candy is a tale of FEELS, and I don't use the word FEELS lightly. FEELS means I almost cried, like I did when I watched the Futurama episode Luck of the Fryrish.

DETECTIVE PONY AND METAFICTION

Before I move on and talk about the CHARACTERS, I'm going to discuss the meat epilogue's resemblance to sonnetstuck's Detective Pony. I love everything about Detective Pony, more than almost anything else in existence. My abnormal love for that godlike fanwork probably skewed my perception of Meat a bit. Starting from page 17, Dirk takes over the narration then fights over it with god tier Calliope; both do rather questionable deeds and Dirk was hit hard by fans as a result. Seeing other fans react towards that character with such hostility gave me a very distinct feeling of "what, am I missing something?" Dirk's takeover felt like a lengthy work of comedy to me; a story that never strips away from the fact that it's fiction, in a vein near identical to that of Detective Pony. I like to think I am in the right for perceiving that arc this way, because I think everyone who has read Homestuck should read Detective Pony. One of the epilogue authors read Detective Pony after writing the epilogues and was struck by it; I take this accidental mirroring of (post-)canon as proof that sonnetstuck understands Hussie's ways through and through. I like to think I have a solid understanding of Hussie's ways by now, but this guy is on a whole new level.

That said, the meat epilogue gets a bit carried away with metafiction to the point of making me think, "god when will things go back to normal". Towards the end of Detective Pony, Dirk goes through an existential crisis followed by a powerful revelation, and then resolves to do whatever it takes to erase his abominable creation. But the meat epilogue ends with (both figurative and literal) crashing and burning; no ultimate redemption for our poor Strider. Homestuck doesn't usually have much of a problem with getting carried away with stupid nonsense; maybe a few rare occasions in cases like Hussie's self-insert scenes. But getting carried away is a major criticism I have with cool and new web comic. I love that comic to death, but the parts that take a long time to dwell on the cool and new characters being creepy or weird are a chore to go through. o (the author of CaNWC) seems to have improved in that regard; the cool and new trolls' arc is much more to-the-point with such nonsense.

Meat getting carried away with metafiction is a major cause of my initial burnout shortly after starting Candy. I was sick of this mass dump of metafiction and expected Candy to be a refreshing change of pace. Haha, if only. My fault for reading Meat first. At night I sometimes ponder in envy of the parallel universe me that started with Candy. Actually I don't do that, I just thought it was a funny thing to say. Though I have on more than a few occasions sat in bed fantasizing about how awesome my life probably is in some parallel universe. What point was I making again? Oh whatever, it doesn't matter. I guess I should write a similar overview of Candy's narrative nature. Here goes:

LUCK OF THE FRYRISH AND SADSTUCK

Sad things are sad.

^ There, that's my candy overview. How hard was that?

With the two summaries out of the way, I figure the best way to dump out my residual thoughts on the epilogues is going character by character. I won't do every character, mostly just the ones who played large roles and were already characters in Homestuck proper. I'm sorting these characters in tiers of how well I think the epilogues handle them, mostly from worst to best.

N-TIER

N is not the lowest tier; it's the tier that cannot be ranked. N stands for two things here: "Not Applicable" and "Narrators". Naturally enough, two characters fit into that tier.

Dirk Strider: I've already talked about this guy quite a bit. I have a fondness for Dirk's character and I think his dialogue and narration in meat do a good job portraying some ascended, ultimate version of his character without straying from his voice, the tone that makes him Dirk. That said, I'm a bit peeved that "normal Dirk", the one iteration of Dirk Strider that isn't total bonkers and just wants his friends to be happy, doesn't exist in this story. In Candy, Rose suddenly loses the memories of her alternate selves, but for some reason Dirk keeps those memories and soon after commits suicide; he's left out of the picture until Candy's postscript, which I guess is a reasonable balance considering his indulgence throughout Meat. But why is only one of the succulently verbose Strilondes let off the hook? Some readers imagine Dave as the comic's protagonist and Dirk as the antagonist; I've toyed with that idea myself and can see it symbolized, but it just feels so wrong to me. Maybe the authors did too good a job writing Dirk for me to be complacent with such a shift in role. His conversations with Rose were just as delightful as I had hoped and they aren't weighed down too much in light of his shift in role, at least not for me.

Alt Calliope: The narrative rival to Dirk, as I mentioned previously. I'm not totally sure what to say about her, other than that one could see her as a counterpart to let's say Anna Harley; a necessary piece in the Detective Pony analogy. Alt Calliope's narrative arguments with Dirk were hilarious and that's all there is to say on the matter.

G-TIER

I'm lucky Gamzee's name starts with a G, because this means I can give him a tier of his own worse than F. As an individual arc that is; he'd get a much higher rating when taken as part of a whole.

Gamzee Makara: Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I despised reading every word that came out of this guy's mouth as soon as his """redemption arc""" started. But I can clearly tell that was the point and that the suffering that is reading his words has a much greater purpose. Before you deem me a masochist or the kind that insists everything is "bad on purpose", know that I am neither of those things but really do mean what I say here. Gamzee's role in Candy draws tension between individuality and the whole. Reading this guy's hogwash is suffering in and of itself, but ultimately it serves a role of showing us how fucked up the world of Candy is and helps the reader experience John's existential crisis with him.

F-TIER

As before, these tiers are strictly about character arcs in isolation and not the big picture. This tier is home to none other than the legendary...

Jane Crocker: Boy did I predict the future on that one. A bit like Dirk, I would've liked it more if in only one epilogue did sweet innocent little Jane become such a monster. No way in hell am I going to run through the asshole things she does; it's a load of sensitive topics I'm not comfortable discussing in any capacity. Instead, I'll say that if I had to choose only one epilogue where Jane ran through her crazy presidential campaign it would be Candy; as with Gamzee's arc, this campaign serves well as a part of John's existential crisis. What's weird here is that in Candy she originally cancelled all this, but later ended up basically doing it anyway with Dirk gone. I can imagine Jane going back to normal in Meat, maybe? Or in the hypothetical "true ending" I discussed prior.

D-TIER

Better known as "meh" tier. Mostly the characters that don't do much and I wished did more.

Meenah Peixes: Needed more screen time, god damn it. She survives the Furthest Ring apocalypse, nabs the Ring of Life, then makes her way to Candy Earth and joins Karkat in the rebellion. Maybe it makes sense that her and Karkat teaming up in war is relegated to the background, to show how far the shouty guy has come in comparison to everyone else. I'll come back to this point when I talked about Karkat.

Roxy Lalonde: Doesn't do too much in either side, but does go through some touchy topics I'm not sure what to think about; I'm most certainly not ready to talk about those topics now. And regardless, Roxy's role in the epilogues is better discussed when I talk about John and Terezi a few tiers up.

Calliope: Doesn't do all that much either, full circle to being the exposition alien with mysterious morality. I'm actually pretty OK with that. Certainly beats out the slog of endless "ur pretty" conversations. Calliope pretty much fades into the background on both sides, which is sad but fitting.

(About pronouns: I'll keep referring to Roxy and Calliope as "she" unless I find reason to talk about the little those two do in Meat. I just avoided using pronouns in those paragraphs above.)

C-TIER

Better known as "meh" tier, but with a more positive "meh" than before. It's the "meh" that indicates lukewarm satisfaction rather than annoyance at mediocrity.

Jade Harley: Really should be on a lower tier, because she did dick squat other than being horny and painfully oblivious to all the nonsense going on. But I'm a sucker for Jade being "Jade" and was happy to see even a trace of that early in Meat. As before, I'll avoid the controversial topics surrounding Jade in the epilogues, aside from pointing out that this post reads very different now.

Karkat Vantas: This guy's a bit of an odd spot. His leadership role is addressed in the absolute last way I expected. Could've gotten more attention from the story I suppose, but damn if his character arc didn't get the most triumphant return imaginable.

Kanaya Maryam: I touched upon Rose and Kanaya's relationship when I discussed the "buddy system" in my first epilogues post and I still stand by what I said there. Her strong attachment to Rose is integrated well into Meat without seeming like fluff or defining her entire character, because she actually does other things there too. In Candy they remain a stable happy relationship and I guess I'm cool with that.

Aradia Megido: Role is the same as ever and I'm fine with that. Death fangirl who works for predestination and has ambiguous morality. Her arc with alt Calliope ends with a cliffhanger that is easily the biggest reason to hope for a follow-up to the epilogues; if such a follow-up were to happen, I really look forward to hearing more from Aradia.

Sollux Captor: Sollux is by nature the other guy, that's an immutable fact of life. He doesn't do much other than snarking at whoever's nearby and I can't imagine it any other way.

Jake English: If not for a scene near the end of Candy, I'd put Jake at D-tier. Through all of Meat and most of Candy, Jake's role is one of the oddest spots of all and it's pretty hard to pinpoint what the authors were going for, lest I dabble in controversial topics some more. But Jake's scene with John near the end of Candy is uniquely touching and makes the most out of his role as a second John. He moves in with John, bringing his son Tavros with him, and encourages John to reconcile with his former wife and make amends of sorts, ultimately giving a small portion of the cast a pseudo-happy ending. That whole part of Candy made me tear up.

Talking about the really GOOD parts is a perfect point for me to move on to...

B-TIER

Stuff that didn't make it into A-Tier, which I've reserved for what struck me HARD.

Dave Strider: In both epilogues, Dave's behavior generally seems based on how he acted in Act 6 Act 6 Intermission 5, which is actually a LOT better than it sounds and hell if I know why that is. Dave's rants about politics and sexuality now have a charm I can't quite describe. His absurd fixation specifically on the economy matches shockingly well with the nature of Homestuck. The three-way romance between him, Karkat, and Jade goes in very different directions on either side, which I'll discuss a bit later. The epilogues even made Dave x Karkat an actually decent ship, how crazy is that??? The writers deserve a big badge of honor for doing that. Not sure what to say about specific things, but Dave was really well-written in an unexpected way.

Rose Lalonde: Again not sure what to say about anything in specific. Just really enjoyed reading Rose on both sides of the story. Shoutout to the heartwarming moment with John near the end.

A-TIER

Oh boy. Oh boy. Time for the big guns.

Vriska Serket: My mind hurts to process just how good Vriska's appearance in Candy was, after leaving the Furthest Ring and landing on Earth. First she talks with John rather aggravated, then she brutally murders Gamzee, then she sits down and has an honest talk with her ectobiological clone raised by Rose and Kanaya, and in the end gets in touch with Terezi which leads to a cliffhanger. The story somehow created the PERFECT balance of sincere reflections and typical Vriska flavor, which was deeply lacking in A6A6I5 with its horrific polar opposite versions of Vriska. Two Vriskas converse once again late in Candy and this time it's incredibly endearing and almost feels like an apology for the controversial Vriska/Vriska encounter back then. I accept the apology with open arms. Why is everything always so wonderful?

John Egbert: <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3. WHY IS EVERYTHING ALWAYS SO WONDERFUL? John gets a deep meaningful existential crisis arc in both epilogues; both cases I easily latched onto and found a bit of myself in. I absolutely loved seeing him and Terezi interact as a duo of people with some perception of canonicity; I'll get back to that point soon enough. John's marriage to Roxy not working out is a testament to both his issues with canon and Roxy's issues dealing with harsh situations. Roxy latches onto John and their son as a huge carefree pushover and he doesn't like that at all. And that's actually cool with me because John x Terezi is better in every way, as the epilogues made me realize. If that wasn't enough, the end of Candy spoils our little hearts by having John reconcile with Roxy anyway and give hope for a better future. Though a part of me does want to see a true happy ending where John and Roxy date with their delightful dynamic from their first interactions, I'm beyond pleased with the epilogues' handling of John either way. Swaying deep into some rather sad territory while remaining 100% faithful to his character that I've always loved so much.

Terezi Pyrope: FUCK YES FUCK YES FUCK YES FUCK YES FUCK YES. Every scene with Terezi in the epilogues was so goddamn awesome. Her interactions with John were such a blast to read, with exactly the mix of humor and touching aspects that make both of the big John/girl ships what they are. How did the authors pull it off, making deeply emotional scenes without ever sacrificing that goofy Terezi flavor???

S-TIER

S in rating systems these days is way misused in my eyes. Normally A is meant to be the highest rating and S is used for the very rare absolutely exceptional case A doesn't do justice. But now you see shit like SS, SSS, SSSS everywhere like one S isn't the ultimate badge of honor? S is a rating I'd gladly give Detective Pony and may or may not give cool and new web comic. Same goes for my very favorite Futurama episodes. I'd give a few of Neil Cicierega's works that rating if I'm feeling up to it. In this post, I've reserved the S rating for:

Barack Obama: THE BEST PART OF THE EPILOGUES, HANDS DOWN. His conversation with Dave near the end of Candy is perfect in every way, it really transcends words. Humor, emotional touching, plot revelations, and straight up "Homestuck feel" are blended into the most delicious melting pot imaginable. When Dave confesses that he might be gay and explains troubles in his three-way romance, Obama responds with a truly inspiring speech about identity that raises an excellent point about the differences between the epilogues involving aspects of people that may seem immutable to some. I think Obama's speech leaves a powerful message I never expected Homestuck of all things to convey so well. I hope readers take that speech's message into account, though I know many will probably be a bit naive about it.

If you refuse to read the epilogues at all costs, then I implore you to read Dave and Obama's conversation anyway. You won't be disappointed.

CONCLUSION

epilogues good

that’s all there is to say on the matter

though if you don’t like them that’s also fine

#homestuck #homestuck epilogues #epilogues #epilogues spoilers #homestuck epilogues spoilers #i predicted the future #i love john egbert #i love terezi pyrope #i maybe love vriska serket???#obama obama obama #johnrezi #yes good

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huge6s-blog · 7 years ago

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RANDOM FACTS ABOUT THE MUN.

Repost, not reblog! Tag 6 muns you would like to get to know better when done!

Name: Kaitlyn! Please, for the love of god, never use it.

Nickname: Katy, Kat, variations; (Katydid, Katybug, Kitkat, etc.) But if you wanna call me something else, that’s fine too!

Age: 22! Simultaneously too old and a wee bab, lmao

Faceclaim: Not something I do! I could never pick just one, besides maybe my own face! (I’d thought about using Shuu Iwamine or Rize Kamishiro before, if that says anything haha)

Pronouns: Your highness/My liege She/Her! But “they/them” is good too.

Height: ~5’6”-5’7”; I can’t remember the last time I checked.

Birthday: Poppin’, obviously March 30th.

Aesthetic: Purple and black?? EGNautilus scientists tittering excitedly over adorable or exciting sea creatures. Omnipresent Mountain Dew cans, fast food and colorful kneesocks. 2AM adventures on clear nights in summer that last until dawn starts sending it’s first beams into the sky. Spacey FPS games and cutesy RPG and Pokemon games interspersed throughout. Weathered frames and tired eyes. ROBOTS… I have no idea, man. A lot of things!

Last song you listened to: “The Thief and the Moon” by Shawn James!

Favourite muse(s) you’ve written: kfkjdf. Sixes definitely counts,, Uhh. My first was a canon-divergent Eridan, who I’d played before Act 6 was even close to being a thing! And he was a lot of fun. Accidentally made a “do not that” meme that still sometimes plagues me to this day ldkfdk A dream-bubble/dead Karkat who’d been murdered in his timeline’s Gamzee’s rampage and only had one eye, he was a biiiig favorite. I loved having enough energy for that all; typing that much shittalk??? Was one of the most fun things I’ve ever done in roleplay, holy shit. Entire fucking PAGES of just these absolutely USELESS rants because that nubby little shit had so much passion for it. Fuck. I loved Karkat. A bloodswapped, cobalt-blooded Karkat who was also post-game for a pre-established timeline where trolls and humans co-existed on the same planet(s). He was a Thief of Blood and a massive asshole; at his worst, he was manipulative, isolative, vengeful, restless… But also, he was a really big dork??? He LOOOOOVED spy movies and probably popped boners regularly for Black Widow and James Bond or the Kingsmen. Fucking nerd. He fancied himself a spy; his best friend was a badass hacker, and they’d (F)LARP together as a stereotypical “you hack, I’ll infiltrate” team. Before Earth, he never cared about Christmas, but one year his richass neighbourhood started putting up flashy decorations and he got jealous, so he stole a shitton of them to make his own house look the best. He’s so… So stupid. I love him so much. And of course, jumping off the Homestuck bandwagon; I have Lv/Hadz! My dorky, sadsack pun machine. A (sort of, mostly) secret post-genocide Sans; the Bad Run™ had been reset after completion, but something went wrong, so he remembers it. Still, he’s been running for like, two years now! So he’s had a lot of time to go and bury all that as deeply as monsterly possible lmaooo. He’s distrusting, paranoid, and isolative himself; but he’s probably the most all-around good guy on this list. He just wants to get on with his life and never have to fight anyone ever again, lmfao. I… I also have a few OCs, but you’ll have to pry those out of my cold, dead hands. … Carefully. With lots of reassurance. (I’m very shy…)

What inspired you to take on your current muse (that you are posting this on): I like… Undertale. And I like Underfell enough that once the idea was presented to me, my mind kinda ran away with it, haha. It started with Hopper, my weird UF Sans! But it feels like every time I approach the AU I have slightly different ideas for it, pfft. I guess with Sixes, I wanted to step away from the skeletons for awhile! I was really excited about messing with Mettaton for it, because I… Really liked listening to the radio for awhile, haha. I thought it’d be kind of cool if instead of being really excited to be seen flaunting himself across a television set, he wasn’t so happy with how he turned out physically, and made his influence a little less directly visible. It fit in well with the seemingly common theme of conflict in Underfell, and things just really exploded from there! It’s hard to summarize in just a few short words. That said, Sixes probably wouldn’t have a blog at all if it wasn’t for tumblr user wibler’s- Sixes’ Sans!- mun coaxing me into giving it a shot! She has a lot of faith in my creative abilities. I dunno what I’d do without her support through the past few years, heheh. She’s neat.

What are your favourite aspects of your current muse: LOUD ANGRY ROBOT LMFAO Shit though, I dunno! I like writing a character who goes through the bipolar disorder motions, the manics and the depressives. I love watching him go hot and cold on characters as he flipflops through his impulses and subsequent regrets. I love that in his timeline, everyone knows him while he himself actually… Hardly knows anyone at all. He’s made himself untrustworthy, and in turn doesn’t trust anyone, either, so he hardly ever opens up beyond… You know. Angry screaming, or shameless flirting and flattery, ignoring personal space bubbles… I love that his Sans being absent kind of smacked him on the nose, because that was someone he was actually making a connection with, but tried to play it off like Sans was just another moment in his life so he kind of treated him like a dick lmao. Deadass knew the poor little dude had anxiety issues and scared him on purpose, made joking death threats, joked about flirting with his shittyass brother… Sixes was such a prick. Fuck. And he realizes that! And after ditching his family just to have a cataclysmic fallout with his other BFF, Alphys, Sans disappearing… It’s something he blames himself for. It kind of sobered him up a little to the way his actions affect people. AND DESPITE EVERYTHING, HE STILL USES HIS CAMERAS (THAT HE STOLE FROM ALPHYS IN A PETTY FIT) SCATTERED ACROSS THE UNDERGROUND AND HIS SHITTY TRAP ROOMS IN HOTLAND TO PUBLICALLY HUMILIATE RANDOM CITIZENS IN A WIPEOUT-ESQUE PODCAST ON THE UNDERNET. At least that assholitude earns him money, though! Fuck. I also reaaallly love how different AUs bring out different aspects of his character, but that’s a rant for another time or place! Hoo. I dunno, man. I could go on about Sixes for like, ever. He’s a really fun muse.

What’s your biggest inspiration when it comes to writing: I’m… I’m not even gonna lie, a lot of it is the positive feedback lmao. I don’t, uh. Do much these days, creatively or recreationally speaking, and I don’t really have a lot of friends IRL… Er, any, actually, if you’re only counting closehand. All my friends live hundreds of miles away, and it sucks. But this is… Simultaneously social and creative. I get to talk to people, and make friends, and toss creativity back and forth with people, and it’s really fulfilling. I love to be a part of other people’s creative processes! I love seeing what other people do with THEIR characters, and when we all??? Interact??? Mother of God, it’s such a treat! Everyone’s so creative and impressive and inspiring… And hearing/seeing us all go back and forth about what we admire in each other… I’m pretty happy with just being a part of writing, and telling other people that I love what they do! But every now and then it comes back around to me in little ways, and it feels really special. It’s hard to imagine anyone liking my stuff past a “they’re pretty cool I guess, yeah” sentiment, despite my glittering impression of a lot of the writers in the community; so when someone DOES say they like my stuff, even just by saying they like a drawing, or like the way I described something, I go OFF THE WALL LMAO. Straight up dissolve and slip through the floorboards a la Gaster style with how lovely it feels. Shucks… And, you know. Watching characters develop in general- whether they be mine or not- is really fulfilling and inspiring. A good cycle.

Favourite types of threads: Anything that feels meaningful! I love it when two characters make any kind of connection, despite the context. That said, typically “angst” and “fluff” style threads are a big favorite, but there has to be, like… you know. Meaning to it. It feels really… I dunno, cardboardy to just throw a muse into a woodchipper for no particular reason just to have them drag themselves to another muse begging for help or to have a chance to explain some kind of deep, edgy feeling or story. Baseless fluff has a lot more wiggle room lmao, but that can get really monotonous really quick if something more significant fails to spark somewhere along the line. Just so long as something’s getting achieved somehow, I guess! If it feels like nothing’s changed between the two at the end of the thread, it feels really unfulfilling and hollow.

Biggest struggle in regards to your current muse: URRRGH. IMPLEMENTING THE RADIO SHOW/PODCAST THING… On one hand, Sixes has kind of collected the idea that the multiverse is a very indifferent place towards the goings-on within his timeline! And, he supposes, that that suits him fine. Hurts his pride a little, but it’s something he’s just going to curl up and lick his wounds for, pfft. But still! I wish I knew how to make it a little more obvious and prominent- The same could go for his growing industry, too! I guess I’ve just been jobless too long to really have a feel for it like I should, oof… Additionally, drawing him is reALLY HARD… He’s in his classic box form most of the time because he’s really insecure about his EX form, and yet I draw his EX form more than anything because the box is frustrating to draw??? And despite it all, I’m still not sure I’m terribly happy with how his EX form looks!!! He’s supposed to be a little closer to a NEO design than initially planned, as Alphys fully intended him to be a KILLING MACHINE from the start without telling him! But he caught on early on, and they kind of bullied each other into compromising a bunch of things until he was just this “hideous” mess that neither of them were terribly happy with… So, you know. The indecision carried over to me too, evidently! Ugh.

Tagged by: nah! Just stole it was all. (from slobbyseconds/coolskeletonsdontcry forever ago, but just got around to now. kfjf)

Tagging: Anyone who wants to! @ me back if you do it, though; I love reading these things!

#q #ooc #repost dont reblog #long post //#ooc about #these r fun. i love talking #munday

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homestuckkinsafespace · 7 years ago

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bpd gamzee again. my ex blocked me for a few months and i was doing alright but recently he came back and has been messaging me over and over again how he still loves me. im trying to stand my ground but it's hard... i want to be the forgiving type but im not ready to love anyone again and i dont know how i can ever trust him as friend or lover. im just so confused... -BPD gamz

gam, first of all, i’m incredibly proud of you for standing your ground and assessing how you feel first. that’s difficult to do, and you deserve credit where credit is due!

you have to remember, the two of you broke up for a reason. you deserve better than somebody who only sees how much you’re worth after a few months and thinks that he can just have you whenever he wants. you deserve somebody who cares about you and truly loves you, somebody who is willing to commit not only just when it’s convenient for them.

you don’t have to forgive people who hurt you. it’s honestly a bad mindset to think that you can forgive everybody. it’s good to move on to brighter things, while also accepting that somebody wasn’t right for you. you can’t let yourself be walked on. put your own needs first and then move forward. you don’t need anybody to be another half of a whole, just somebody who improves upon you, who is already whole.

if you don’t feel like you can trust him, right now, the best move is to say that you’re not interested in speaking and begin to move on. make new friends, talk to people in different friend circles more, you’ll find that there’s a lot of good people in the world if you open your eyes and go to befriend them. the hskin community is a great place to start, i find, as it’s how i made some of my best friends.

right now, your entire life is going to seem difficult. i get that relationships can sometimes seem to be the center of the world. you just have to accept that the good times are over and move on accordingly. it can’t be done in a night or a week, but you’ll look back one day and realize that everything is fine. you have to make the things in your life surround you, not others. put yourself first - you deserve happiness.

for the moment, find an anchor. find something you love to do. and stick to it. commit yourself to that anchor. it could be anything. drawing, making mosaics, writing, sewing, taking long walks, whatever fuels you. if you make an anchor the center of your world, you’ll find that you start focusing on yourself and your own happiness - which is the biggest step towards moving on.

be safe. i’m proud of you, and i hope you’re well.

- john

#hskin #hskinpositivity #mod john #bpd gamz #Anonymous

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bronzeflower · 7 years ago

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Who The Fuck Writes A Ten-Page Rant?????

Also on ao3

-----

Chapter 10: Romantic Advice And The Greatest Rap Battle In History

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

CG: HEY, DAVE. CG: I TRIED TO TROLL YOU YESTERDAY, BUT IT SAID YOU WERE IDLE. CG: ARE YOU HERE NOW?

TG: you bet your bottom dollar im here TG: sorry for not answering yesterday btw TG: got distracted by a bunch of other people pestering and trolling me

CG: IT’S FINE. CG: WE ALL GET BOMBARDED BY OTHERS AT SOME POINT OR ANOTHER. CG: WHO DID YOU TALK TO?

TG: some of my friends who you also apparently know or knew TG: i learned a lot of shit yesterday TG: namely that all of my friends know who you are TG: jade knows who you are TG: john knows who you are TG: terezi knows who you are but that was kind of expected but i did not expect that you were friends with her since fucking kindergarten TG: and then also aradia apparently was friends with you in middle school????

CG: WHAT? CG: YOU TALKED TO ARADIA? CG: GEEZ, I HAVEN'T TALKED TO HER IN AGES. CG: HAS SHE DIED YET?

TG: not that i know of TG: as far as i know she is as nice and cheerful as ever

CG: CHEERFUL? CG: CLEARLY WE ARE NOT TALKING ABOUT THE SAME ARADIA.

TG: so you arent talking about aradia megido here

CG: I AM, BUT CHEERFUL IS PROBABLY THE LAST WORD I WOULD USE TO DESCRIBE HER. CG: SHE WAS ALWAYS KIND OF CREEPY, AND SHE ACTED DEAD HALF THE TIME. CG: SHE ALSO DID A BUNCH OF CRAZY SHIT AS IF SHE COULDN'T DIE. CG: IT WAS, FRANKLY, EXTREMLY CONCERNING.

TG: that doesnt sound like the ara i know at all TG: except for the crazy shit part TG: she still does crazy shit TG: the ara i know is super fucking cheerful and happy TG: wait when you say she acted dead what do you mean

CG: I MEAN SHE ACTED LIKE EVERYTHING WAS BOUND TO HAPPEN. CG: IT WAS HONESTLY SUPER CREEPY. CG: THE ONLY TIME I REMEMBER THAT SHE SHOWED SOME EMOTION WAS WHEN EQUIUS TRIED TO ASK HER OUT. CG: TO BE FAIR, HE DIDN'T EXACTLY DO IT IN THE BEST WAY. CG: HE KIND OF DESERVED TO GET BEAT UP.

TG: holy shit TG: i dont know who the fuck equius is but what was the damage

CG: HE HAD A BROKEN BONE OR TWO, AND HE ALSO HAD TWO BLACK EYES. CG: WHICH WAS REALLY FUCKING IMPRESSIVE SINCE HE WAS SUPER FUCKING BUFF AND KNEW MARTIAL ARTS.

TG: can a middle school child be buff

CG: YES. APPARANTLY. CG: AND, AS MUCH AS NEPETA THOUGHT THE PAIRING WAS CUTE, SHE WAS ONE OF THE FIRST PEOPLE TO ADMIT THAT THE WAY EQUIUS ASKED ARADIA OUT WAS CREEPY.

TG: how did he even ask her out

CG: IT'S A MEMORY I PREFER TO KEEP REPRESSED.

TG: that bad

CG: YES. CG: IT WAS HORRIBLE TO WATCH, AND THEN ARADIA GOT SUSPENDED FOR AN AMOUNT OF TIME.

TG: she did it at school???

CG: SHE DID. CG: SHE ALSO DIDN'T OFFER ANY MERCY. CG: THE ONLY REASON THAT SHE STOPPED BEATING UP EQUIUS IS BECAUSE A TEACHER MANAGED TO PRY HER OFF HIM.

TG: jesus christ TG: i wasnt even sure that aradia was capable of being angry TG: she was clearly a very different kind of person when she knew you

CG: CLEARLY.

TG: also i dont know who nepeta is either

CG: SHE WAS EQUIUS'S MOIRAIL. CG: SHE STILL IS, AS FAR AS I KNOW. CG: I TALK TO HER SEMI-OFTEN. CG: I SHOULD PROBABLY TALK TO HER MORE.

TG: how many of your friends from middle school do you still even know and talk to

CG: WELL, I STILL TALK TO NEPETA, KANAYA, TEREZI, SOLLUX, AND ERIDAN. CG: SOMETIMES I HAVE THE DISPLEASURE OF TALKING TO EQUIUS. CG: GAMZEE STILL CONTACTS ME SOMETIMES, BUT I TRY TO AVOID TALKING WITH HIM BECAUSE OF THINGS THAT HAPPENED IN THE PAST. CG: I'VE BARELY HEARD ABOUT VRISKA SINCE SHE WENT TO JAIL FOR SOMETHING. CG: I CAN'T, FOR THE LIFE OF ME, REMEMBER FOR WHAT, BUT I THINK IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN FOR STEALING SOMETHING. CG: AND THEN I DON'T REALLY TALK TO FEFERI, TAVROS, OR ARADIA ANYMORE. CG: I THINK THAT'S BASICALLY EVERYONE I WAS FRIENDS WITH IN MIDDLE SCHOOL.

TG: holy shit thats a shit ton of people TG: when i was in middle school i was only friends with john jade and rose TG: and rose was my fucking twin and john and jade lived miles and miles away from me TG: and you still talk to a bunch of them TG: even if i dont know who most of them are but will probably find out eventually TG: i think john once dated a girl named vriska TG: dont know if it is the same one

CG: WAS SHE WEIRDLY OBSESSED WITH SPIDERS AND THE NUMBER EIGHT?

TG: she was actually

CG: THEN IT WAS THE SAME ONE I KNEW.

TG: shit TG: john still has lingering effects of her influence TG: like typing out eight characters when drawing words out

CG: WELL, SHE WASN'T DATING JOHN WHEN I MET HIM, SO SHE MUST HAVE GOTTEN OUT OF JAIL.

TG: well i guess that development is settled TG: i apparently know a fair amount of the people you knew TG: who would have guessed

CG: PROBABLY ANYONE WHO KNEW BOTH OF US CG: ALSO, COULD I ASK YOU FOR ARADIA'S TROLLHANDLE? CG: I WAS BEING SERIOUS WHEN I SAID I HADN'T TALKED TO HER IN AGES. CG: AND I DON'T KNOW IF SHE STILL HAS THE SAME TROLLHANDLE.

TG: sure thing dude TG: her trollhandle is apocalypsearisen

CG: I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S STILL THE SAME. CG: I COULD HAVE CONTACTED HER AT ANY FUCKING TIME.

TG: i wouldnt worry about it that much TG: you probably just didnt want to risk contacting someone super weird who you didnt actually know anything about

CG: I GUESS, BUT STILL.

TG: besides it is super hard to get a hold of her at all so i only really ever talk to her like once every few months TG: she does all this archeology shit so half the time she is in a place with no internet

CG: OH. CG: I GUESS THAT MAKES SENSE. CG: ARCHEOLOGY IS PRETTY COOL THOUGH.

TG: yeah she gets to lead expeditions and shit now its pretty fucking awesome TG: going around licking shit to see if something is a rock or a bone

CG: WHY THE FLYING FUCK WOULD YOU GO AROUND LICKING RANDOM THINGS TO SEE IF IT IS A ROCK OR A BONE?

TG: because if it is a bone then your tongue will stick TG: thats how you know its not going to be useless if you shove it into a museum

CG: THAT'S REALLY WEIRD.

TG: you havent even heard about licking some thousand or something year old honey to see if it was still good TG: spoilers TG: it was because honey never spoils

CG: THAT SOUNDS LIKE BULLSHIT.

TG: no man its one hundred percent true TG: complete and absolute fact

CG: I'M STILL GOING TO CALL BULLSHIT.

TG: dont say i didnt warn ya TG: one day youre going to be arguing with someone and then youll both look it up on wikipedia to see whos right TG: and low and behold you were wrong TG: you will have to live with that humiliation for the rest of your life

CG: I THINK I'LL GET OVER IT.

TG: wow okay

CG: ANYWAY, I'M GLAD ARADIA IS DOING SOMETHING THAT SHE PRESUMABLY ENJOYS WITH HER LIFE. CG: SHE DOES ENJOY HER JOB, RIGHT?

TG: hell yeah she does TG: every time i contact her we trade stories about things that have happened in the past few months TG: sometimes really dumb shit happens that we tell to our other friends TG: while others are closely guarded secrets that we only tell one another and they never see the light of day

CG: WHAT KIND OF SECRETS?

TG: secret secrets TG: the most secrety kind of secrets you could ever conceivably have and share with another living thing that has the capability to tell others your secret TG: except that you trust them enough not to tell anybody about it

CG: ARE YOU SURE YOU ONLY TALK TO HER ONCE EVERY FEW MONTHS?

TG: yeah i would like to talk to her more but she is a busy person and so am i TG: our schedules dont always line up TG: particularly because of her going to places where she doesnt have internet and is therefore unable to contact anybody

CG: THAT SOUNDS PRETTY SHITTY. CG: I CAN'T IMAGINE NOT TALKING TO KANAYA FOR MONTHS AT A TIME.

TG: its a system that works just fine for aradia and i TG: it would be nice to see her in person every now and then tho

CG: WAIT, I HAVE A QUESTION. CG: HOWEVER, IT MAY BE KIND OF PERSONAL, SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER IT IF YOU DON'T WANT TO.

TG: ill answer depending on the question so go ahead and shoot

CG: ARE YOU MOIRAILS WITH ARADIA? CG: BECAUSE A LOT OF THE STUFF YOU DESCRIBED TALKING TO HER ABOUT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETHING YOU WOULD ONLY EVER TELL YOUR MOIRAIL.

TG: oh um TG: moirail is like the intimate best friend right TG: like pale and shit

CG: YES. THAT IS THE QUADRANT I AM TALKING ABOUT.

TG: ... TG: i actually have no idea

CG: OKAY, SO IF YOU TWO AREN'T OFFICIAL MOIRAILS YET, HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT HER?

TG: shit man i dont know TG: i just kind of think that shes a cool person who i would prefer to hang out with more TG: but like i know that her job is important to her

CG: YES?

TG: i dont know its just like TG: it would be nice to hear more from her TG: just to know that shes alive and doing well and safe and shit TG: you know

CG: YES, I DO KNOW. CG: BECAUSE I HAVE A MOIRAIL, SO I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE FEELING RIGHT HERE.

TG: oh TG: huh TG: i feel like my previous definition is an intimate friend was kind of correct then TG: but like also kind of not TG: im not exactly sure how serious this kind of relationship is though

CG: IT JUST DEPENDS ON WHO YOU DECIDE TO BE MOIRAILS WITH. CG: FOR SOME PEOPLE, IT'S A VERY SERIOUS COMMITMENT, BUT, FOR OTHERS, IT'S MORE CASUAL. CG: SOME EVEN WANT TO HAVE AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP, WHICH IS MORE COMMON WITH HUMANS, BUT WHATEVER. CG: REALLY, YOU SHOULD PROBABLY TALK TO ARADIA ABOUT THIS AND TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL. CG: IF THE TWO OF YOU HAVE BEEN SHARING SECRETS LIKE YOU SAID YOU WERE, THEN SHE PROBABLY FEELS THE SAME WAY. CG: ALTHOUGH, THE RELATIONSHIP MAY BE DIFFICULT TO MAINTAIN BECAUSE OF DISTANCE. CG: ON THE OTHER HAND, YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH HER HASN'T BEEN DIMINISHED FROM TIME AND DISTANCE, SO IT MIGHT HAVE THE POTENTIAL TO TURN INTO A STRONG MOIRALLEGIANCE.

TG: i think im going to think on it for a bit longer TG: but thanks anyway for the relationship advice

CG: OF COURSE. CG: ROMANCE IS MY FORTE.

TG: speaking of romance though TG: talk to me about your novel TG: it sounds pretty interesting from what little i have heard about it TG: and based on the amount of writing i have read from you its really good TG: so you should totally yell at the top of your lungs about it TG: shout your passions to the world and if anyone gives you shit about it punch them

CG: I DO THAT ANYWAYS. CG: I HAVE PUNCHED MULTIPLE PEOPLE. CG: THERE IS REALLY NO NEED TO ENCOURAGE IT.

TG: thats the spirit TG: so novel time TG: lay out your outline of novel in amazing detail for me TG: or whatever amount you feel comfortable with TG: really there isnt any pressure or anything

CG: FINE, IF YOU'RE GOING TO BE SO INSISTENT. CG: THE BASIC SETTING OF MY NOVEL IS THAT TWO INDIVIDUALS MEET WHILE IN COLLEGE. CG: THEY MEET IN A TEA SHOP BECAUSE I CAN DO WHAT I WANT. CG: SO ANYWAY, WHEN THEY FIRST MEET, THEY FUCKING HATE EACH OTHER. CG: THEY'RE JUST COMPLETE OPPOSITES, BUT IT TURNS OUT THAT A BUNCH OF THEIR FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS WITH EACH OTHER, SO THEY END UP SPENDING MORE TIME TOGETHER. CG: THE MORE TIME THEY SPEND TOGETHER, THE MORE THEY REALIZE THAT THEY ACTUALLY LIKE THE OTHER PERSON. CG: WHICH EVENTUALLY LEADS TO THEM FALLING IN LOVE AND BEGINNING TO DATE.

TG: that sounds super interesting TG: infinitely better than that bullshit in romance novels where they fall in love with each other instantly and then spend most of the novel skirting around each other and beating around the bush TG: i havent actually read any romance novels but im pretty sure that is how it goes

CG: THAT'S PRETTY MUCH HOW IT GOES USUALLY. CG: AS MUCH AS A LOVE ROMANCE BOOKS AND MOVIES, THAT TROPE IS PRETTY FUCKING ANNOYING. CG: IT'S LIKE, JUST TALK TO EACH OTHER, YOU COMPLETE DOUCHNOZZLES! CG: OKAY, SO I MAY NOT BE THE BEST PERSON TO SAY THAT, BUT STILL! CG: I GOT BETTER! CG: I ASKED OUT KANAYA, AND IT WAS GREAT!

TG: really

CG: YES. CG: PEOPLE ALWAYS SEEM TO THINK THAT KANAYA WAS THE ONE WHO ASKED ME OUT, BUT THAT IS NOT THE CASE. CG: I GATHERED UP THE NERVE, AND I TOLD HER THAT I WAS PALE FOR HER. CG: YEAH, *SOME* PEOPLE MAY CALL MY APPROACH A TAD BIT EXTRA, BUT I WAS TRYING TO BE ROMANTIC, GODDAMNIT!

TG: how exactly are you supposed to be romantic with pale romance

CG: I GAVE HER SOME FLOWERS, WHICH CAN BE USED TO EXPRESS FEELINGS FOR ANY AND ALL THE QUADRANTS. CG: TYPICALLY PEOPLE JUST WRAP THE BOUQUET OF FLOWERS IN A COLORED WRAP THAT REPRESENTS THEIR FEELINGS. CG: RED FOR RED, PINK FOR PALE, BLACK FOR BLACK, AND GRAY FOR ASHEN. CG: I HAPPENED TO ALSO CHOOSE FLOWERS THAT WERE MEANINGFUL AS WELL, SO THE BOUQUET OF FLOWERS I GAVE KANAYA HAD YELLOW ROSES, AND IT ALSO HAD SOME CHRYSANTHEMUMS.

TG: what do those mean

CG: YELLOW ROSES MEAN FRIENDSHIP, WHILE CHRYSANTHEMUMS MEAN SUPPORT. CG: I TRIED TO AVOID ANY FLOWERS THAT MEANT LONGEVITY AND STUFF LIKE THAT BECAUSE THOSE CAN MAKE YOU LOOK DESPERATE. CG: YOU ONLY GIVE THOSE SORTS OF FLOWERS TO SOMEONE WHO'S BEEN YOUR MOIRAIL FOR A REALLY LONG TIME. CG: IT IS ALSO TRADITIONAL FOR THE BOUQUET OF FLOWERS TO BE TIED WITH TWO RIBBONS, ONE WITH YOUR BLOOD COLOR, AND THE OTHER WITH THE OTHER'S BLOOD COLOR. CG: SOME PEOPLE DO DIFFERENT KNOTS TO REPRESENT DIFFERENT THINGS, BUT I WON'T GET INTO THAT.

TG: this all sounds really fucking complicated

CG: YEAH, WELL THAT IS PROBABLY WHY PEOPLE CALLED ME EXTRA. CG: BUT, IN ADDITION TO THE FLOWERS, IT IS ROMANTIC TO BRING THE PALE ROMANTIC INTEREST THEIR COMFORT FOOD, ALONG WITH ONE OF THEIR FAVORITE MOVIES OR BOOKS. CG: IT SHOWS THAT YOU ALREADY KNOW THE PERSON FAIRLY WELL, AND WOULD LIKE TO PURSUE A PALE RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM. CG: SO, I BROUGHT KANAYA HER COMFORT FOOD AND HER FAVORITE BOOK.

TG: i assume she responded positively since you two are now moirails

CG: YES. CG: WE HAD A VERY ENJOYABLE DATE.

TG: are there any nuances about the other quadrants i should know about

CG: IT DEPENDS ON WHETHER OR NOT YOU ARE WILLING TO DO A BLACK OR ASHEN RELATIONSHIP. CG: MOST PARTICIPATE IN THE MORE RED QUADRANTS, BUT MANY FEEL WEIRD ABOUT THE DARKER ONES. CG: TO BE FAIR, THEY ARE EXTREMELY DIFFICULT TO KEEP UP BECAUSE THEY REQUIRE A PROPER RIVALRY. CG: THE BASIC STIRRINGS OF BLACK FEELINGS IS A FEELING OF RESPECT FOR THE OTHER PERSON. CG: YOU CAN'T HAVE A PROPER RIVALRY IF YOU DON'T RESPECT THE OTHER PERSON AND RECOGNIZE THAT THEY HAVE GOOD TRAITS. CG: THE MORE MAJOR FEELINGS THAT TEND TO GET UP PLAYED ARE THE FEELINGS OF ANIMOSITY TOWARDS THE OTHER PERSON. CG: HOWEVER, PEOPLE SEEM TO FORGET THAT THE RESPECT PLAYS A HUGE PART IN BLACK ROMANCE. CG: THE ASHEN QUADRANT IS EVEN MORE DIFFICULT BECAUSE IT TAKES THE BLACK QUADRANT AND ADDS ANOTHER PERSON TO MAKE SURE THAT THE KISMESISES DON'T KILL EACH OTHER. CG: SOMETIMES, THE HAPPENINGS OF A PITCH RELATIONSHIP IS DEPENDENT ON HOW GOOD THE AUSPISTICE IS. CG: AND THERE ARE VERY FEW GOOD AUSPISTICES, MUCH LESS PEOPLE WHO ARE ACTUALLY INTERESTING IN BEING ONE. CG: KANAYA IS ONE OF THE FEW PEOPLE I KNOW WHO ACTUALLY HOLDS AN INTEREST IN BEING AN AUSPISTICE, SO SHE KNOWS MORE ABOUT IT.

TG: well thats a shit ton of information TG: i think i need my info a bit more spread out and a bit more simply worded TG: although it might just be because i have a hard time wrapping my mind around this black romance stuff TG: i think ill stick with the red quadrants thank you very much

CG: WELL, IF YOU EVER NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT QUADRANTS AND THE ROMANCE ASSOCIATED WITH EACH OF THEM, THEN I'M THE PERSON TO GO TO.

TG: i think i got that with the first word about quadrants that decided to waterfall out of your mouth

CG: THAT IS BECAUSE I AM SUPERIOR WHEN IT COMES TO KNOWLEDGE ABOUT QUADRANTS.

TG: yes you are TG: bow down to the great king of quadrants everybody TG: his greatness and might are too glorious to behold TG: youve got to fuckin look in the corner of your eyes to even begin to behold his beauty and glory TG: all hail the king of the quadrants

CG: FUCK YES. CG: BOW DOWN TO ME, PEASANTS, FOR I AM YOUR GOD. CG: QUIVER BEFORE MY MIGHT.

TG: they quiver before you my liege TG: they are fearful of the power you possess

CG: OKAY, THIS IS SOUNDING WAY TOO MUCH LIKE ONE OF NEPETA'S ROLEPLAYS, SO I'M GOING TO PUT A STOP TO IT HERE. CG: JUST, STOP.

TG: oh shit if nepeta does this kind of roleplay shit im going to need a way to contact her

CG: WHY THE FUCK WOULD I EVER WANT TO GIVE YOU THE MEANS TO TALK TO HER.

TG: because you want your friends to meet each other

CG: NOT REALLY. CG: ANYTIME THAT HAPPENS, THE TWO END UP GETTING ALONG INSUFFERABLY WELL, AND THEY END UP MAKING ME SUFFER.

TG: i guess ill just have to find another way to get her contact information

CG: GOOD FUCKING LUCK WITH THAT. CG: BUT SERIOUSLY, IF YOU END UP TALKING TO NEPETA, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO TALK TO EQUIUS AT ONE POINT OR ANOTHER. CG: THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS EXTREMELY SERIOUS. CG: THE TWO ARE SO PALE FOR EACH OTHER IT'S ALMOST SICKENING. CG: YOU MIGHT END UP WITH A BROKEN HAND.

TG: what for talking to nepeta TG: that seems like a dick move

CG: NO, IT WON'T BE FOR TALKING TO NEPETA. CG: IT WILL JUST BE FOR MEETING HIM. CG: HE HAS A REALLY STRONG HANDSHAKE. CG: DO NOT USE YOUR DOMINATE HAND WHEN GIVING HIM A HANDSHAKE.

TG: ... TG: ill keep that in mind TG: btw i want to know something TG: has rose pestered you yet

CG: WHY WOULD SHE PESTER ME?

TG: so she hasnt TG: she found out it was going to be kanayas bday soon and she was freaking out about it TG: because she didnt know what to get kanaya TG: i told her to contact you since you are moirails with kanaya

CG: KANAYA WOULD BE OVERJOYED JUST BEING GIVEN A GIFT FROM ROSE. CG: I DON'T KNOW WHAT ROSE IS FREAKING OUT ABOUT.

TG: thats what i said TG: but yeah you should probably message her just to make sure she hasnt gone into solitude about it

CG: HAS SHE ACTUALLY GONE INTO SOLITUDE FOR THINGS LIKE THAT?

TG: no TG: she mostly goes into solitude near a book deadline TG: but still TG: it is a concern of mine

CG: ALRIGHT. CG: I'LL TRY TO TALK SOME SENSE INTO HER. CG: WHAT'S HER HANDLE?

TG: tentacletherapist

CG: I GUESS I'LL GO MESSAGE HER NOW. CG: I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER.

TG: see ya my dude

-- carcinoGeneticist [CG] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

You begin to brainstorm ideas for possible videos for your channel in the future, and you kept this up for about an hour before someone started messaging you.

-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

GA: This Is Dave Correct GA: I Am Kanaya Just In Case You Did Not Recognize My Handle

TG: yep this is dave TG: whats up kanaya what do you need

GA: I Do Not Actually Need Anything From You GA: I Simply Wanted To Make Sure That I Had The Handle Right Before Contacting You In The Future GA: However I Would Not Be Adverse To A Conversation

TG: well lets see what could we possibly talk about TG: there are a shit ton of potential topics we could discuss TG: and yet my brain is coming up blank TG: despite all my swank this shit aint ready to bank TG: the topics at hand are inside the void TG: were reaching for them grabbing at them TG: but we miss more than a storm trooper droid TG: we pick up a topic and were like oh shit we grabbed it TG: only for it to slip out of our hands and end up cracking it

GA: Do You Happen To Partake In The Art Of Slam Poetry

TG: thats like the troll way of saying rap right TG: hell fucking yeah i do TG: do you want to do a rap battle with me

GA: I Do Not Do This Sort Of Thing Very Often But I Would Like To Accept Your Challenge GA: Would You Rather You Or I Go First

TG: if youre feeling up to it you can go first

GA: If You Insist GA: Here I Go GA: The World Was Created A Long Time Ago GA: And Yet It Has No Time For Your Parlor Tricks GA: All They Do Is Make Us Sick GA: The Stars Align And They Make Me Shine GA: Far Brighter Than The Sun That I Have Claimed As Mine GA: You Seem To Have The Belief That You Are Better Than I GA: But I Regret To Inform You That I Will Make You Cry

TG: holy shit that was great TG: but frankly i have to reiterate TG: my rhymes are slick and holding to a beat TG: theres not a lot of thinking that goes into what im bringing TG: theres no time to think no time to meet TG: just listen to the words here that i here am singing TG: youve got to have more than rhymes to kick my ass TG: and frankly based on that youre not gonna last TG: cause my beats are sick so sick in fact TG: that my old raps are practically some cool artifact

GA: That Youre Raps Are An Artifact You Have Correct GA: But I Have To Inform You That You Need To Double Check GA: What You Think It Means At Least GA: For I Believe They Were Thrown In The Garbage Yesterday GA: You Should Feel Horrid If That Is The Case GA: That Is Where They Were Meant To Be Anyway GA: Mine However Are The Hottest You Ever Will See GA: And If You Say Otherwise All Will Disagree

TG: my rhymes may be trash but theyre ironically shitty TG: just wait and see if you can reach my level of petty TG: my beats made of coal and with enough pressure and heat TG: my beats will be the most beautiful diamonds on the street TG: ill be forever engrained in the earth TG: youll be the one always waiting around for a rebirth

GA: Im Going To Have To Say I Agree Your Rhymes Are Shitty GA: Theyre Gritty And Im Pretty GA: And Im Worth More Than Being Just Petty GA: Youre Admitting That Your Trash GA: You Might As Well Be Ash GA: Ive Won Already So I Hope That You Are Ready GA: Your Diamonds Are Fake As Is Your Declaration GA: Just Pack Up Your Bags Youre Leaving The Station

TG: okay okay i yield TG: leaving the station now TG: didnt even pack my bags thats how roasted my ass got TG: your rhymes are too sick for me to handle TG: like holy shit where did you learn to rap like that

GA: I Dabble In The Art Of Slam Poetry And The Art Of Poetry Alike GA: Not As Often As I Would Like Though GA: Perhaps We Can Do This Again Another Time

TG: i will totally take you up on your offer TG: its been a while since ive had a worthy opponent TG: especially one that beat me into the ground so soundly

GA: I Will Continue Honing My Skills

TG: and ill do the same over here

GA: It Was Enjoyable Talking With You GA: Or In This Case Slamming With You GA: I Will Contact You In The Future

TG: wait hold on before you go TG: karkat mentioned a friend named nepeta and i want to get her contact info TG: do you have this information

GA: Her Trollhandle Is ArsenicCatnip GA: However I Do Not Know Why Karkat Would Withhold This Information From You

TG: i think he might have been worried how well we would get along

GA: I Still Do Not Understand GA: I Should Be Going Now GA: I Will Message You Again In The Future

-- grimAuxiliatrix [GA] ceased pestering turntechGodhead [TG] --

Well, you guess it’s time to message Nepeta for the first time.

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering arsenicCatnip [AC] --

TG: yo youre nepeta right TG: i heard about you from my friend karkat who is also your friend TG: i got your handle from kanaya tho because karkat refused TG: he said he didnt want to bring the powers that we have together TG: well i said fuck that and so here i am pestering you

AC: :33 < i am nepeta, but who are mew?

TG: oh shit TG: i guess i completely forgot to introduce my awesome self TG: im dave TG: nice to meet you

AC: :33 < its nice to m33t you too! AC: :33 < how did you and karcat meet? AC: :33 < he doesnt really talk to anyone outside his furiend group

TG: i met him at his work and i kinda rambled a shit ton like i always do TG: and i made him laugh and i gave him my chumhandle

AC: :33 < ! AC: :33 < you made him laugh? AC: :33 < i almost nefur hear him laugh beclaws he just wants to be all grumpy all the time

TG: it might of just been because he was at work and didnt feel like risking yelling at me TG: which he does all the time TG: anyway i heard you like roleplaying with people

AC: :33 < i do! AC: :33 < would mew like to rolepurrlay with me?

TG: hell yes

AC: :33 < i usually rolepurrlay as a cat AC: :33 < what would mew like to be?

TG: shit if were going to be doing animals and shit then i want to be a crow TG: crows are the shit TG: you can start if you want to

AC: :33 < *ac crouches behind some bushes, watching her unsuspecting prey*

TG: *tg stands there pecking at the ground or some shit*

AC: :33 < *when ac is sure the crow isnt suspecting it, she pounces!*

TG: *tg squawks as ac attacks him he is completely fucking oblivious to how this could have possibly happened*

AC: :33 < *ac successfurlly holds the crow in her claws, purrparing to eat her dinner*

TG: *tg begs that ac does not eat him over and over he shouts to not be eaten by her*

AC: :33 < *ac carefurlly considers not eating the crow* AC: :33 < *in the end, howefur, ac opens her maw and asks if the crow would like to watch a documentary about animals!*

TG: *tg stares in disbelief at his tactic of begging actually working* TG: *not wanting to give ac any reason to eat him he accepts her invitation* TG: *he says that he would love to*

AC: :33 < *ac says that this rolepurrlay was furry fun!*

TG: *tg says ditto and would like to do this again sometime*

AC: :33 < *ac agrees but must go now so she will troll you again in the furture*

-- arsenicCatnip [AC] ceased trolling turntechGodhead [TG] --

Well, that was pretty fun. Soon enough, you both will be able to use your powers for evil. And by evil, you mean to annoy Karkat, at least a little bit. Maybe you could invite them both out at some point.

You hear the doorbell ring, and you go to the door to find a package at your doorstep. Sweet. More stuff to review for your channel. As if you didn’t have enough shit already.

You set up your recording stuff and start recording. You open the box in absolute silence and slowly pull out the merchandise. It’s a rug. A very, very soft rug.

“The first carpet industry was made in 1791 by a dude named William Sprague in Philadelphia. However, it isn’t the United States that make the best rugs. Eastern counties actually have the best carpets, like India. They make a hell of a lot of rugs. This rug isn’t from India though. It’s just a really soft rug. Look how soft that shit is. Softer than the nicest goddamned silk in the world.”

You rub the carpet against your face.

“Just be sure to take off all the tags so you can get the full sensory experience of the rug. Now, of course, I can’t just keep rubbing my face against this lovely carpet. I’ve got to put it on the floor where it can do what it’s supposed to do. Be a rug.”

You place the carpet on the floor and step on it. You wriggle around your toes.

“Still just as amazing on my feet as it was on my face. Though, you might not want it to rub your face against it once you’ve rubbed your feet on it. Unless you’re into that sort of thing. I’m not judging. But you might want to wash it.”

After a few more minutes of rambling on about the texture and color and other sensory stuff about the carpet before stopping the recording.

Time to edit the fuck out of this shit. After you find a place for the pink carpet you bought. It was way too nice to throw away, and pink is a great color.

#davekat #aradave #pale aradave #karkat vantas #dave strider #homestuck #kanaya maryam #nepeta leijon

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pricemarshfield · 8 years ago

Text

see you looking through me (like you unzipped the zipper)

a roserezi fic about dealing with issues and psychic powers

read on ao3 here: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11072058

Your relationships on the meteor, simplified:

Dave Strider is your brother, and the only other human on the meteor. As such, the two of you are closer than you would ever have expected, back when he some asshole with a blog attempting to rap with and/or at you. You love him, and you'll tease him about his budding relationship with Karkat for the rest of your natural life.

Karkat Vantas is odd. Part of you likes the way that you always know what he's feeling, but it puts you a little on edge, too. You don't know him well enough to call him a friend, but calling him an acquaintance feels a bit rude, given that he's one of six people you will be able to interact with for the next one-and-a-half years (roughly).

Gamzee Makara is repulsive. You're lucky enough to not have to actually deal with him; he avoids the whole lot of you, ever since Vriska...threatened him? Intimidated him? Rose wasn't there. You're grateful to her, either way.

Vriska Serket, despite your gratitude, is someone you are convinced you will duel to the death one day. She's loud and obnoxious and Kanaya used to have a crush on her, which would be ground enough for at least sparring, but sometimes you looks at Vriska and sees yourself, cheesy as it sounds. You aren't sure if you're the hero who has to hear the cliche speech or if you're going to eventually ascend into the eldritch abomination you dabbled with and fall prey to every trope known to mankind. Trollkind.

Kanaya Maryam is lovely. You've kissed and held hands and cuddled, and you're getting used to waking up to Kanaya's gentle glow. You don't know if you're actually girlfriends are not because you're too afraid to bring it up, and hate yourself for it, a little bit.

Then there's Terezi.

Terezi is...well.

You're not sure if you hate her or want to be her friend or what. You genuinely have no idea. At one point, you were desperate enough to entertain the idea of going to Karkat and asking about quadrants, but Kanaya intervened, and Vriska later interrupted to make fun of you both. Sometimes you wonders if Vriska's jealous and get caught up in some fear over Vriska being more open (a joke in and of itself) and Kanaya leaving you, but then they're back at the what are we conversation you're too much of a closet case to have, no matter whether you're technically out.

But back to Terezi. You find you're thinking a lot more about Terezi, now, but you're not sure why. The uncertainty bugs you more than the thought itself.

You know Terezi wasn't always blind. You don't know the whole story, because Kanaya was reluctant to share and you were smart enough not to pry, but. You feel your metaphorical hackles rising every time Terezi moves as if to actually look at something, even though it never bugged you Before.

That's another thing. Before. As in capital-B Before, and you're annoyed with Sburb for making you resort to such cheap tricks to establish importance.

You can feel an entire other timeline. Or not timeline, exactly, that's Dave's thing, but something. An entire other fate. There are moments when you turn to look at Kanaya, illuminated in the overhead light, and stumbles forward as if you've just seen her be killed. Sometimes you looks at Vriska and just thinks that you shouldn't be here, and one of your casual, hidden insults cuts a little too deep to try and cover that and you end up having to apologize. You wake up and feel alcohol burning at the back of your throat even though you haven't had any for over six months, and you're proud of that.

(You won't admit it to anyone, even Dave, but you tried alchemizing a chip for almost three hours before giving up. You miss Earth, obviously, but you never thought you'd be so nostalgic over tangible reminders of accomplishment.)

And sometimes you think about Terezi acting as if she still has her sight, and even though you know that there's no reason it should bother you, it does because could she actually see again Before, it makes you want to take her apart piece by piece until you figure out what's going on.

(Mentally. Despite your casual attitude towards morbidity, you've never been a fan of that kind of gore. Your needles are better for stabbing than such exact work, anyway.)

You're busy replacing Dave's Lucky Charms with store brand cereal just to see if he'll notice when Terezi walks in and says, "I forgot you were a seer."

Her voice is quiet and serious in a way that you don't think she's seen in Terezi, and it makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. You put down the box of cereal and say, "And?"

It's a blunder, far too confrontational, and you curse yourself for it, but Terezi doesn't react.

"Seer," Terezi says, as an address.

"Rose," you snap.

This is a disaster. You're giving far too much away.

"Am I Seer if I didn't die on a quest bed?" Terezi says, and the seriousness is gone an instant after. Her grin is wide, teeth like a shark's. "Who knows? Why does it boooooooother you?" A cackle.

You hate that you can tell that Terezi drew it out for eight beats. Still, it's a little comforting to know you're not the only emotionally constipated person on the meteor trying to court someone else all while dealing with debilitating anxiety. (Well, there's also Dave.)

"No, but it's curious you bring it up," you say, trying to regain control of the situation. "It suggests an inferiority complex over the entire issue. Is that why you resent me? Do you see me as fulfilling the potential you have not?"

You're not sure what the hell you're saying, but it sounds mean and psychological enough to work.

"You're the one who resents me, Miss Lalonde!" Terezi says, grin not fading a bit. "And I thank you not to try your therapist act on me. Do you really think you can out-talk a lawyer?"

No, but damn, she'll try. Also, Terezi's not a lawyer, she's a teenager with a complex.

(Pot, meet kettle.)

"I'm curious as to why you think I think about you enough to resent you," you say, and it sort of feels like you should be saying this weapons drawn, circling each other, not while you're leaning against the counter of the kitchen next to a box of partially-store-brand Lucky Charms.

"Well," Terezi says. "Perhaps the fact that you've been staring me down any time we happen to be in the same room together? It's very suspicious of you to engage in such confrontation with me! After all, I cannot defend myself."

"Terezi, I find it difficult to imagine you defenseless," you say, and even as you say it there's the vaguest image of Terezi and a murderclown and lava and self-stabbing, and you're sure your face drops. What's really suspicious is that Terezi doesn't take advantage of the momentary weakness. Some lawyer.

"I knew it," Terezi crows. "Seer."

You don't draw your wands, but it's close. "Stop calling me that."

"But you remember,” Terezi says. "I can. I knew it!"

Terezi laughs loudly, and you grew up in a house almost entirely silent, except for vacuuming and occasionally something being knocked over. You cross your arms, despite the obvious defensiveness inherent in doing so, and hiss, "What exactly do you remember."

"Almost all of it," Terezi says, and her shark-smile drops. "I killed Vriska, you know."

"I didn't," you say.

"Does it scare you?" Terezi asks, mockingly.

"I'm terrified," you say, voice monotone. If anything, it makes you feel better, knowing more. Or, to be more accurate, you are terrified, but it's an existential terror, and knowing that the girl across from you killed someone doesn't add to that in any meaningful way. "Anything else?"

"Why, Lalonde, do you want my help?" Terezi asks.

"No," you say instinctively, too quickly. You take a moment, then say, "Why is it you assume I want to remember another timeline? There are plenty. Ask Dave."

"This is different," Terezi says. "This is the same time. It's not time that's the problem."

"What is, then?" you ask, because you are so desperate to understand what's happening, because not knowing why the world works the way it does makes you want to scratch at the walls more than the stir-craziness already does.

"Outcome," Terezi says. "Probability."

"That's Light," you say.

"Decisions!" Terezi says. "That's Mind. That's me. And this isn't a timeline change, what John did was different--"

"So?" you say. "What does that mean?"

"It means we're the only connection to what happened Before." (Fuck the capital-B.) "Aren't you curious?"

There's a moment where you hesitate. You have to think it through, close your eyes and let the Light tell you what comes next. It doesn't, of course. Such powers can only do so much in the void. Still, when you open your eyes to meet Terezi's blank stare, you've made up your mind.

"Fine," you say. "Can you manage to be less insufferable while we work?"

Terezi tilts her head. "This is the most blatant calignous flirting I've ever encountered."

You falter, because you're still not sure you understand the quadrants and kind of think they're stupid and also, there's Kanaya. But Terezi's all pointy smiles and matching you barb for barb, and even if it's not serious, you may as well dabble.

"Well," you say, "I'll have to work on my subtlety."

#my fic #homestuck #roserezi #rose lalonde #terezi pyrope #i gotta work on my terezi. damn #this was a lot longer and also rosevriskanrezi but i cut it down bc i'm not mentally prepared for more than this

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thedoctor-and-his-trolls · 8 years ago

Text

Calm Consumes Me

(( This has been a long time in the making as I’ve been busy caught up with shit SHIT man just shit. I’ve finally got part two, hopefully the rest comes as smoothly as this part has. Thanks to all of you who have been patiently waiting for this, and all you new comers, you’re in for a ride.

part one so you can click through and also find links to the original 3 stories!))

You don't even bother eating this morning. You just leave. You don't feel like dealing with slimy relationships. Hell you don't even know why you bothered with thoughts of John.

But this will be the first time you really spend time on the new world you and he created. You try to avoid it, especially during sun hours. Why shouldn't you enjoy this strange cross between human and troll? You worked hard for it. Harder than John or Rose or Dave. You died for it. And so did a lot of people you cared for. Including but certainly not limited to Nepeta. Equius and Aradia; Sollux. Sollux... How could you let them do that, how could you let Gamzee kill Nepeta..? Just like your stupid Ancestor couldn't stop his friends from being prosecuted, you couldn't either. You just barely skimmed out of there with your Mother- Kanaya.

"Why do I keep doing that," you grumble to yourself.

When you meet the door you're a bit nervous. You'd never really felt the sun before... Would it burn? You grab the handle, twist, and push the door outward.

What were you worried about again? Sun? Due to an unusually wet season, the sky is still looming with rain, only dark clouds the color of your skin are visible in the sky. No rays of heavy sun in sight. You step outside. It's cold and foggy, a somewhat unusual feeling.

Not that you hadn't felt it before, but that was on Alternia where trolls didn't go out in the daylight. With your old unadjusted bodies. The feeling of being out midday in this rainy weather was... Lonely. At night it was socializing time, time to go out and preach!

Well, if that is something you personally would have done (it's not.) (you'd rather die than be like Kankri, with all his goddamn trigger warnings.)

But the Sufferer... He was different. He's someone you feel compelled to look up to, rather than Kankri who you're somewhat ashamed of.

You wander through the spacious yard you and your compatriots have the pleasure of building a hive on. It's more like woods than anything but at least there's a path. And you're following it. Until then you'll be alone with your thoughts of the Sufferer and the Disciple and the Dolorosa-

"Karkles where you goin? Can I come?!"

"John?!" His name is almost disgust in your mouth. Mainly because you are finding his existence at this current moment repulsive and uncalled for.

"Here and accounted for!"

He's too cheerful when he comes beside you to link your arm with his. You scowl.

"Yes it's just FUCKING FINE! Invite yourself that's perfect!"

"Oh good! I'm glad I can join you!"

"You're so DENSE!"

You stop walking and look at him directly. He rolls his eyes and mutters that he's not stupid.

"I knew you were being sarcastic asshole. But I'm coming like it or not."

You push him away.

"You owe me considering you let me fall off the bed. I'm gonna find bruises now-" he points to random places on his body "-all over..." He gives you a wide eyed look.

"Please Karkat?"

You hate yourself. He makes you soft, your heart is soft. The way Terezi would sometimes. The way you did for Nepeta. You groan.

"Fine," you say low.

His soft pink lips give you a just smile and his eyes shine lightly. He leans in ever so slightly but you turn away to continue walking.

"Why do you do this to me," you mumble.

"What?"

You're startled by yourself. You didn't intend for that to be out loud and you surely didn't want to have to explain yourself.

"Why are you always such a nook licker?"

"Depends upon the nook," he chuckles.

You can almost feel your eyes dilate. Your body is drooling for him. Why is he so goddamn flirty?

"Karkat?"

Your name in his mouth all innocent makes your heart beat with anticipation.

"Yes?"

He leaves you in silence and then shakes his head.

"Aw nevermind," he says with a chuckle.

He hooks his arm around your shoulders and pats you on the head. You growl lowly, so as to not let him hear you. You roll your eyes at him. Seriously how could a single person be so infuriating? You shake him off and walk up ahead, admiring the world around you. Eventually he catches up with you, humming all the way.

"Why are you always so rude? I'm trying to be nice to you... I want you," he trails off and glances at you with a tease in his eyes. But even still...

You quiver at the sound of that. You want him, red and black; pale and ashen.. Your heart is racing. One twist to the next, John Egbert was toying with you and you just gave him permission to mentally do so as well. What were you thinking? Especially since you knew that he was messing with you...

"...As my friend," he finishes off laughing.

You know exactly what you were thinking. You wanted him, in expert sexual euphoria. You wanted him to make you feel full and empty all the same. You wanted him to want you fully and completely. You wanted him to need you the way Dave once needed you, before he lost Jade.

Now Dave was a different story. Sometimes he would tease you intellectually, implying maybe he was interested, but you weren't. Not emotionally at least. And then eventually, he just, he kissed you... And that was that, those were a long three years, and having him... It just made it shorter. He would sleep beside you, on top of you, beneath you... He would pull your hair and beg with his soft pink lips, his hips pressing into yours, his boner practically ripping through his clothes when he humped you. Dave was something else. He used and abused you and you were more than willing to be his slave. But it was just a game, nothing more or less to either of you. That was a realization that came after you had landed yourselves in this new world... And you and him drifted far apart.

Not that most of it had anything to do with your relationship, but you think almost one hundred percent had to do with the loss of Jade. Jade what a precious girl. The two of you could have been the best of friends, and of course she would have kept past, present, and future you pacified. That wasn't something that anyone else was capable of doing. Or not as well as she was.

John was the most difficult loss, especially where you thought he was dead for most of that time. And to be honest, he was, just a different more successful version of him emerged through time shenanigans. And boom, a somehow older and more attractive version was placed in front of you. Destroying the very need that had been previously replaced when Dave waltzed in and took your virginity, like the savage he was.

You stumble and trip over your feet. You catch yourself before full on falling. John grabs your arm and the two of you stop walking.

"What was that... Are you okay Karkat?"

His voice almost sounds genuine.

"It was nothing, I just got lost in my thoughts and wasn't paying attention. I'm fine."

You can feel his icy eyes on you and you look up into them. You stand up straight and break away from his clutch. You brush yourself off and continue forward. He doesn't immediately follow but you hear when he does, your ears twitch at the sound. He runs to your side, his shoes lightly scuffing on the pavement.

"Isn't it beautiful out though Karkat? The rain, when was the last time you felt it?"

You shake your head.

"I was hoping to experience the sun actually. I didn't realize it was so... dreary out," you respond, quite normally.

"Oh. Have you still never felt the sun? I didn't realize..."

You glance over and see him pull his phone out of his pocket. He stares at it for a moment then smiles.

"Karkat do you wanna watch the sunrise tomorrow?! Then you can feel the sun on you and experience it and stuff. It's going to be nice and warm and... Trust me its beautiful."

He looks at you and smiles widely. You regretfully smile back at him.

"S-sure, John, but you're gonna have to get me up."

He nods erratically and laughs. "Of course I can! I'm good at waking you up!"

You stare back at the path in front of you. He moves closer to you.

"I promise you'll like it, Karkat."

In accordance with many romance movies you've seen since inheriting the space on this mishmash of a planet, sunrises can sometimes be... Romantic. Maybe tomorrow morning would be the day you'd tell him how you feel. Express yourself. And maybe he'd finally understand.

As the two of you walk there's more silence than there is chit chat which is good because you barely wanted him there in the first place. You pass through woods, swing sets, a park. Eventually you come to a cave.

"Oh this is that cave that was discovered, it was all over the news about two years ago. Do you want to go check it out? They say it's haunted and you can hear the screams and cries of women and children. I think it's just the wind though. It does have some peculiar drawings on the walls-"

"John, would you shut up," you interrupt him.

Something about what he just said struck a chord so you decide to make your way in. The further away from the entrance the closer you get to a light illuminating the dark cave. In the corner of your eye you notice the walls, but don't pay them much attention.

"See Karkat, look, look at the drawings. I wonder who made these... They can't decipher the symbols as it's not a language anyone recognizes. But from the pictures, they've been able to surmise what it probably says."

You pause, and on closer inspection, you see a lot of letters, all familiar to you. Old Alternian, any one of us trolls could decipher this... You move closer, along the walls and cringe. It's your story. You look to the opposite wall. The story there is that of the Sufferer. You pull at your hair, why is this happening? Whats the point of ancestral relevance now? The game is over! They're not important!

But Karkat, we are. Exclusively to you. You were the only person who didn't accept us.

You look around confused. Where did that come from? Who said that? You feel like you're gonna puke.

"See did you hear that screaming?" It's only clear to you, Karkat. "It just did it again... This place is creepy man." He can't hear us. This is meant for you.

"Who's there," you call out.

"Karkat there's no one here. It's just the wind."

You don't answer him but continue down the narrow cave checking every inch of the walls. No doubt, it's Alternian. This history should have been erased but here it is and always will be. You gasp. Further down the story shows John's planets history.

"John have you seen this?"

He shook his head.

"I didn't know about-" He pauses at the image of his own father being killed. His posture falls. "Does.... Does that mean the rest is your story then? I guess I didn't put it together."

"Yes it was our story..." You hear him choke and cough. At a glance you see his eyes overwhelmed and spilling over. "John are you okay?"

He shakes his head. "I miss him. I miss my dad so much..."

You press a hand on his back, rubbing circles. You suggest you continue on down the cave, if he's up for it. He nods and wipes his face with his hands. In the end of the cave, the survivors of a big green monster (Caliborne) are revered as gods, with no names or specific details. Hell Dave was portrayed as bronze rather than pale and red eyed. It was very roundabout as to who was who, but if you knew, you knew.

But you guys aren't gods, just a bunch of kids who created a world in harmony with each other. You aren't gods, you're just a bunch of kids who suffered at the hands of great evil to create a universe that would consist of trolls and humans, the genetics mixing and creating a new race as well. The whole thing was making your head spin.

You sit down from nausea. Who knew these things, who could have drawn this-this... What was this? You clench your eyes shut and think. Did Nepeta survive? No. But.... Maybe there would always be someone like her... Who did these cave drawings?

"Aggghhhh." You put your head down.

It was starting to pour again outside the opening of the cave; it came down and echoed into the space around you, filling the cave.

"Are you okay," John asks.

"Just a bit dizzy..." You rest your head on the wall behind you.

John eventually joins you on the floor of the cave and puts an arm around you, pulling you close to him. He's wet and cold from the wind in the cave and the rain from outside. Compared to you, you're actually warm. He pulls his arm from around you and rests it on your knee. He lays his head against your shoulder and closes his eyes.

"Sorry, you're just... You're just so warm..."

You find yourself wrapping an arm around his shoulders and he rests his head closer to your heart. He could hear it and you couldn't control it's heavy thumps of anticipation. But he didn't say anything.

"We should go back," you whisper.

He shakes his head. "But I'm comfortable."

You sigh. "Yes but I'm sure you'd be just as comfortable and warm at home John. Actually probably warmer. C'mon."

He clenches your knee cap and slides it up your thigh a little bit. You push him off and stand up. Your vision cuts out from moving too quickly and you put a hand on the wall.

"W-we should probably get going John. Oh and John?"

"Yes?"

"I-... I can't see. I need your help..."

You hear him get up and feel his arm under yours and around your rib cage to support you. While your vision is spotty, he hangs onto you and you cling to him.

"Don't worry, I'll get you home safe."

The two of you hobble out of the cave as you slowly regain your vision. You lean over and support yourself on your knees dry heaving. What was wrong with you?

"Karkat?" His voice comes urgent as he places a hand on your back. "Karkat please we're not too far from home, I'll get you home safe."

His playful demeanor had left him when he came and found you leaving this morning. He was very serious today and you weren't sure why. He put an arm around you again. A soft wind came and swept you up quickly. The two of you start to sprint. Somehow it didn't make you feel sicker, but you didn't feel better.

Do you understand now why you must learn your story? In order to progress you must accept your past, Karkat. We will guide you.

You slipped and fell in the wet grass. The voice put you off balance and made you lose your footing. John wasn't far behind you.

"Ah! Karkat! A-are you-"

"John are you okay, I'm so sorry-"

You break out into laughter. You were so stupidly clumsy. Nothing even hurt, you just embarrassed yourself in front of him.

"I'm sorry. Haha, I'm just so clumsy John."

He smiles back at you. His eyes are wide with wonder. You shake your head and roll onto your back to stare up at the sky. John boosts himself up and reaches a hand out to you.

"C'mon we're almost home and I'm cold and a little hungry for lunch."

You grasp his hand and he pulls you up. The two of you take it slow home. When you get there you slide your shoes off beside his. The two of you chat your way to your room, shutting the door behind you. He begins to disband his clothing, down to his underwear. You can't help but watch. His skin is so pale, especially in comparison to your own. He catches you watching and you begin to take your clothes off too. You both change into dry clothes, him keeping relatively close to ensure you don't fall over.

"John, I'm fine don't fucking worry."

He shakes his head and keeps a hand on your side.

"Buuut, you could fall over though. And I don't want you getting hurt. I told you I'd get you home safe, and I intend as well on keeping you safe while I can..."

You wonder why he's being so nice to you. Did it finally click with him? The two of you finish getting dressed and then he follows you closely to the kitchen.

"Now do you want soup sandwich or what," he asks, assisting you to a seat at the island in the kitchen.

"Umm... Soup I guess seems safe," you respond. He smiles at you and begins cooking up some soup for the two of you. You lean your head on the counter top.

Before you know it hes pressing a hand on your shoulder and softly whispering your name. You shake yourself out of a sleepy stupor and perk up at the smell of soup. He thumbs at your cheek wiping something away.

"Why were you crying," he asks.

You pause and think. You honestly don't remember. You don't even remember falling asleep, just the sensation of his warm hands on you to wake you.

"I.. I don't know."

"Don't worry about it then, I'm sure it's nothing."

God he was being so sweet and kind. Why was he being this way. What did he want? You pulled the bowl he had placed in front of you closer. You spoon at it and eat. It rushes down your throat and into your stomach. It warms every inch of your body, from your nose to your toes. While you eat it's silent. Afterwards he walks you to the room and lays down beside you.

"I'll be here until you fall asleep," he whispers. He rubs your stomach and nestles his face into your neck. His breathing is calm and sets you to sleep.

#the doctor and his trolls #homestuck #johnkat #homestuck trolls #trolls #karkat vantas

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