#it feels like SEGA is aggressively giving it their all this year

[caguaydreams]

lmao why does SEGA keep pushing the sonadow agenda

I mean, I'm not complaining but ???? 👁️👁️ I know what you are

[sonadowwiki]

Sonadow Shipping History

In the Sonic the Hedgehog fandom community, shipping is taken quite seriously. Throughout the years, many ship wars have happened between several different ships. Some ships are more well known than others due to the constant fighting and drama they enact. These ships are also known for having their fans go too far when arguing or fighting. It even extended to corrupt officials within the company that aid and encourage opposing fans to bully Sonadow fans. (To see some examples, check here. To see how much deeper it goes, check The Hidden Truth About SEGA.)

These aggressive fans have not completely dissipated throughout the years. Some fans are still known to show aggression towards other ships that they find to be in the way of their ship. This mostly includes any ship that interferes with their ship due to one of the people in the ship being the same as another. Some of the aggressive behaviors that these bad fans are known to do are: manipulation of information, disinformation, witch hunting, death threating and general bullying towards others. Also, one of their key traits is being narcissistic where they will constantly gloat in other people's faces if they believe to have gotten something positive for themselves or if they believe that they are "winning" in something. Most of the ones who participate in these behaviors are also known to be part of an organized group that is mainly on Twitter/X. They are known to work together to group bully those they don't agree with or don't like. They are also known to only take information of things that benefit them, manipulate the majority of information to be in their favor (Even to the point of lying. An example is them saying that one character is "confirmed" to have mutual feelings for the other, even if it has not been confirmed by an official member of SEGA/Sonic Team.) and de-confirming or unacknowledging any information that is in support of another ship other than their own, even if how they do it makes no sense.

Some of the most common lies that are said between Sonic and Shadow to put down Sonadow fans are that: they hate each other, they have no interest in each other/show no interest in each other ever, they are not gay, Shadow is 50 while Sonic is 15, they are not friends, they don't match each other (this is more of a personal reason people give out often but treat like it is a fact), that Sonic and Shadow are related by blood and that Sonic has Shadow's DNA in some manner. All of these are lies that are not true about the two of them, which can be proven by looking at multiple medias about the two. For example, Shadow is not 50 years old, he is said to be 15 like Sonic. Though he was stasis for 50 years, Shadow is not 50 due to being frozen in time for that length of time. Sonic and Shadow have also shown to care about each other in multiple medias. They have also shown to be friends in multiple medias. Though due to those who want to put down the ship, many tend to still say these lies to today in order to discredit the ship between Sonic and Shadow and to make an excuse to bully those who ship them together. To ensure this even more, they even go the lengths to hide information that de-confirms their lies so that they can keep on saying these lies and make people believe in them.

Due to fans like this who dislike Sonadow and like to cause discourse through manipulation, misinformation, disinformation and creating misconceptions, many have come to misunderstand the ship between Sonic and Shadow. Because of the manipulation of information and constant lying that surrounds these two, many have come to believe that Sonic and Shadow constantly fight or compete due to being solely rivals, bitter enemies or because they hate each other. But when progressing through the games, Sonic and Shadow's relationship has shown to improve between each other to the point they became allies, friends and friendly rivals. There are many times where they help each other out or where Shadow protects Sonic like in Sonic the Hedgehog 2006 and Sonic Forces. It is even stated in Twitter Takeover #6 that Shadow does not hate Sonic. Ever since this statement, the misconception between the two has cleared up ever so slightly. But due to people wanting to put down the ship and make it seem like the ship has no chance, those who manipulate the information ignore when this happened and never bring it up. Instead, they only bring up things to say that Sonic and Shadow hate each other, even if it's not true. They also push for Shadow to sound more mean and cruel than he really is by saying that he would kill people for the fun of it. All of this is said so that people would think there is no chance for Sonic and Shadow to like each other, and by making people believe this, it creates more hate and bullying on the people who like Sonadow.

Sonic and Shadow are still known to come to some disagreements that end up as rivalry competition or other types of fights due to conflicting views. (Sonic x Shadow July Calendar Story) But even though they disagree with each other, they continue to be friends who care for each other and help each other out when needed.

To see more on their relationship, check out Sonic and Shadow's Relationship Status.

[everygame]

Atari Basketball (Arcade)

Developed/Published by: Atari Released: 5/1979 Completed: 03/06/2024 Completion: Was winning handily when my credit ran out.

Released almost a full year after the release of Basketball for Atari 2600 (covered in exp. 2601: buy a copy today!) Atari Basketball is a bit of a strange duck, almost the opposite of what you generally expect of the arcade/home version divide: while you wouldn’t hate playing this in the arcade, it wouldn’t feel too much of a stretch to call this a pale imitation of the 2600 original.

And I do mean pale. Similar to the rest of the Atari coin-ops of the era, the arcade version is in black and white, which gives the game the feeling of watching one of those old-timey basketball games rather than the dynamic sport I’m sure it already was by 1979. Just like the 2600 version, you’ve only got the one button which either launches you into the air to block or shoots (you aim your shots based on when you release the fire button) meaning that you have to rely on crowding your opponent to steal the ball, though it seems more difficult. The  twist here, unusually, is that the game uses trackballs rather than a multi-directional joystick, which was still not the standard in 1979; Atari had previously done this for Atari Football at the end of 1978 (which I haven’t written up, because it’s two-player only) seemingly inspired by an earlier Sega game about proper football that is almost impossible to Google (have a go and see if you find any more than this flyer.)

Of course, because I don’t have access to a real machine, I can’t tell you if using a trackball here makes the game especially fun or anything, but I suspect it doesn’t do much. What really stands out about Atari Basketball instead is its extremely aggressive monetisation. A credit (or two) only buys you between 30 seconds to 2 minutes 30 of play before it asks you to stump up more cash, calling to mind if, as a kid, you ever tried to play NBA Jam in the arcades and realised with horror that your 20p might only get you a quarter. Actually that probably made more sense in the US where a quarter got you a quarter?

Here though there isn’t even a sense of a game to win, with no trappings like quarters to let you know when a game would be over. And the AI is if anything more rudimentary than the 2600 version, seemingly less viciously determined to crush your dreams, so once your time is up you think “I guess I won?” and I assume move on.

Will I ever play it again? No.

Final Thought: Like most of Atari’s arcade output in this era, this is trapped in the mindset that an arcade machine is something that people play with others essentially as a distraction–at a bar, maybe as a bit of friendly competition. But by this point, the hypnotic Space Invaders had changed the context so much this can’t seem anything but old hat. Especially when you could be playing that for a while, going for a high score for your pennies rather than getting mere seconds of a rudimentary basketball game that, honestly, would be more fun at home.

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[flamingplay]

I'm certainly not bringing anything new at all for you here @birdsy-purplefishes but I clearly saw the strong parallels between all songs and two eras.

Man Alive and Raw Data Feel have both certain overlaps, and so does the setlist. Man Alive is a young version of Jonathan and Raw Data Feel has also young Jonathan flashbacks (Metroland) and the topic of dealing with the same type of someone's unspeakable stuff that was traumatic presumably all along since youth. Both albums deal with technology/evolution/progress. On Man Alive it is narrowed down to NASA stuff, messing up environment, gaming, Photoshoping, how we and the animals underwent evolution so much so that the foxes now live in the cities too and get hit by cars (Tin) both of these facts are by-products of our progress-evolution and on RDF you know yourself it's all about technology. Both albums speak about human mistakes and ways of dealing with them that are mostly unhealthy for the first album + for both games are implied in one way or another, however, with RDF that way of dealing becomes even significantly unhealthier, thanks to technology (and constantly produced fake dopamine), as Kevin is all in phone and parasocial relationship with AI, joking, but, as Jonathan said in the livestream, "bloody love the internet", and so does Kevin.

So, the setlist, imo, goes in an interesting manner:

Schoolin - in the official comments on FB years ago Jonathan said it's about making mistakes, learning and not learning from them, evolution, friendship and/or relationship and any kind of human interaction mistakes. And "yeah, probably" being completely responsible for these mistakes.

Leave the Engine Room - a song that is again about mistakes. This time mistakes are narrowed down to the certain assigned biological sex and stereotypes around it, and repeating these mistakes from generation to generation despite warnings and maybe having hopes but something happened/triggered and all went sideways.

Teletype - again relationship, again technology, again narrator that went through unspeakable things and more likely has a post traumatic mechanism working but he doesn't want to talk about and if it's an actual PTSD then obviously it triggers being not communicative, anyway, something is going on with the mental health.

Pizza Boy - another way of dealing with trauma aka consumerism and solitude, "being like a fat child in a you know what", like Jonathan said (and continued that with putting No Reptiles).

Jennifer - past pain is in the past, that past was in Man Alive under My Kz Ur Bf song.

Metroland is Burning - starts with the game sounds like the Sega Mega Drive type of thing, is about destructive young Jonathan, "vandalism as an emotion". Well, lots of songs on Man Alive were, imo, of a vandalistic nature metaphorically or not. Also it's about mistakes, and about past mistakes that lead to the environmental crisis (hello to Leave the Engine room and mistakes in general and hello to Two for Nero + Sega never died).

Shark Week - breaking free, mentioning that depression took place with the line-nod to Tin. “I purposely used the fox again. I wanted to say it was dead. And it’s in Shark Week which was the one where I’m sort of at my most sarcastic and most aggressive. And then I just threw it in there like ‘Yeah, don’t give a fuck anymore, it is dead, and then here’s a bit about the Burger King as well, just to add insult to injury.’ Just for how much I’m like ‘Yeah. Fuck it. I’m gonna have a burger’ or whatever that’s meant to be. [laughs]"

Tin - well, depression, evolution mentioned, it's tied to everything explained above.

My Kz Ur Bf - well, Jennifer sending greetings together with Raymond and all that conflict, it's all again about being over the top etc youth youth death death death scenario.

No Reptiles - well, apart from "we live in a society" logic I can also pick on it being there because of Shark Week, and "It all comes back to being fat really… it’s like one of the things that you just see; I’m kind of fat, and I don’t like that about myself."

Rewatching Live to Vinyl for the first time really made my brain go all agitated enough to look for connections between the songs in the setlist and how this particular setlist doesn't seem to be random at all or just along the lines of "well, just picked because sounded good together), so everything stitched together in it makes a perfect sense, and how Man Alive being re-released after Raw Data Feel instead of its actual anniversary is also not a coincidence (yeah you can talk about pandemic and how music industry works and how strategical decisions are made but let me just romanticise my way through that lol).

Anyway, what one won't do instead of writing personal statement / motivation letter (ugh)

[frostiifae]

Why do we hate Nintendo?

Today, organizers of the The Big House online tournament announced that they received a cease and desist order from Nintendo. 

What is Slippi?

Project Slippi is, essentially, an add-on to the existing Dolphin emulator for Gamecube games. Its purpose is to bring the features of modern online gaming to Super Smash Brothers Melee, a game which was released very nearly 20 years ago and is no longer in production, but remains a popular competitive game with an active scene. 

Slippi has been a godsend to the Melee community during the pandemic. It offers incredibly high-fidelity gameplay with random matchmaking and tournament support, and the developers have emphasized making the game experience itself as close to local play as possible. It’s been so successful that the Big House - a series of major annual tournaments that have been running for almost a decade - decided to host their 2020 tournament purely online using Slippi. 

Who care about Melee? Why aren’t they just playing Ultimate instead?

If you ask a Melee player, they will go on and on about the improved framerate, responsiveness, and other such technical advantages Melee has over Ultimate. I’m going to talk about something else instead. 

It’s culturally expected nowadays that when a new game in a franchise comes out, you stop playing the old game and play the new game instead. But if you apply this way of thinking to any other form of media it’s completely ridiculous. It’s like saying there’s no reason to watch documentaries from the 80s and 90s, because documentaries about the same subjects have been remade more recently. Media exists as a product of its time. It might contain valuable historical insight that remains precious to us for centuries to come. Or, it might just be better. Maybe the older documentaries are more informative, or maybe they’re more engaging to watch. Games work the same way; people will always have their preferences about which game in a series is their favorite, and choosing to play an older game you prefer - especially if you’ve got a lot of friends to play with you - isn’t at all an entitled thing to do. 

The problem with digital media is that having a movie or game by itself isn’t useful. Me owning a copy of Sonic the Hedgehog 2 is useless if I don’t also have a Sega Genesis to run it on - and that system is useless if I don’t have a working controller to use to interface with the game. Melee has been facing this problem for years now, as copies of Melee itself and Gamecube systems and controllers become more exclusive and more scarce. There aren’t new games or systems coming onto the market to replace what’s being lost - there are only a finite number left, and when the last one breaks, Melee will effectively cease to exist. 

Ok, well, that’s sad and all, but Slippi is an emulator, right? And emulating is illegal!

Emulating is legal... sort of. Emulation has hidden behind a vague phrasing of copyright law that suggests that, when you own a piece of digital media, you have the right to make copies of it for your own personal use - you just can’t distribute those copies. Owning an emulator, or the ROMs needed to play games on that emulator, isn’t strictly illegal... but distributing those things is. 

The idea here is, in theory, you could very thoroughly mod your Gamecube to connect to the Internet and play with modded firmware using Project Slippi. Modding isn’t illegal, so if you have your own GameCube and your own copy of Melee, which you purchased legitimately, then doing this is absolutely legal. And it probably is what people are doing! Definitely, probably. I’m sure it’s not as hard as I make it sound. Don’t worry about it!

Point is; distributing ROMs is what’s illegal, not playing them. The Big House isn’t distributing ROMs, so they’re not doing anything illegal. And Nintendo knows that; they took a different approach. Instead of claiming that using Project Slippi is against the law, they instead simply informed TBH that they don’t have permission to stream or host a tournament using their game. 

Obviously, Nintendo owns the rights to Melee, and that means they have the right to decide who is and isn’t allowed to stream their game and why. The Big House didn’t break the law, but that doesn’t mean they have the legal standing to challenge Nintendo’s order - let alone the financial resources or emotional stamina needed to get into a legal battle with a company of that size.

I don’t see the problem. Nintendo has the right to do this. Isn’t this what everybody does?

No.

Age of Empires 2 came out in September of ‘99, and it has remained a niche but thriving competitive RTS game over 20 years since then. Fans had to keep the game fresh on their own via modding in new map support and even new civilizations. 

In 2012, Microsoft decided that the game’s consistent support from its fans deserved an offering, and they decided to make an HD rerelease. That’s really cool of them! They also contacted the developers of one of the most popular fanmade expansions, Forgotten Empires, and worked it into an official expansion, called The Forgotten! AOE2 has continued to grow and thrive ever since, receiving enough attention to call for TWO MORE EXPANSION PACKS, and of course leading to the Definitive Edition release last year. Embracing fan support of their outdated product has given Microsoft the opportunity to make money off of something that should be long dead, and now it’s bigger and better than ever before. 

If you ask folks within the fighting game community, you’ll find this isn’t an isolated story - for example, Arcsystems notably once incoporated a fanmade mod that improved netplay into an official patch, lending official developer resources to the group to help them get the job done. When your fans care so much about a game you’ve made that they’ll put in the time and the effort to make that game better and more accessible for everyone, a lot of developers are happy to honor and embrace that effort, and in doing so, they stand a lot to benefit - their games get better, and they might even be able to make enough money back on those improvements to keep growing the game even further.

So if other developers aren’t doing this, why is Nintendo doing it? Simple: They don’t like the idea that people are playing old games. They want everyone playing the most recent offerings, no questions asked. To them, “rereleasing” Melee is out of the question; Smash Ultimate is the only “canonical” version of Smash. Don’t play anything else. Don’t try to buy anything else. This is the only game that exists. 

So what? I don’t care at all about Melee. Why does it matter that Nintendo wants people to stop playing a 20-year old game?

The short answer is because it sucks that Nintendo holds the rights to something they don’t care about and aren’t using, and that they’re using those rights to legally bully people who love their games and want to make them better and more accessible to other people. Regardless of how you feel about Melee or its community, it’s a simple fact that the people who are building Project Slippi and running tournaments love the game more than just about anybody else. For Nintendo to order a C&D against a passionate fan project is a bummer - but for them to do so in regards to a game that they’re not making anymore is downright unfair. They would rather protect their ability to maybe make more money on Melee later, than allow the existing scene to thrive in a way that does literally no harm to them.

Nintendo’s well-known and aggressive policy of shutting down fan-made projects and communities of all kinds has only one objective in mind: they want absolute control over everything that they’ve made. From a certain naive point of view, this is fair, right? But if you take this to its logical extreme, then that means Nintendo has the right to prohibit things like fanart or fanfiction, which doesn’t really seem that fair. Where should the line be drawn?

This is just another battle in a war that has been fought over the last 200 years regarding the idea of a “copyright”, and what gives a person the right to decide how other people will consume media they publish. It has never been about the rights of writers, musicians, or game developers - it has always been about publishing rights. Publishers want exclusive control over the things they publish, because holding exclusive control makes it much easier for them to make money from their products. 

We have a legal term for when a single entity has exclusive control over a commodity in high demand - that’s called a monopoly, and it is illegal. Monopolies pose a serious threat to consumers because they can price their goods however they like, extorting their consumerbase or simply making their product inaccessible except to an elite few, which isn’t considered fair. So if that’s the case, why aren’t video game publishers considered monopolies? It turns out some people in the past believed they should be, and publishing companies have been doing all sorts of legal acrobatics for years to avoid it. Free Culture makes for a good read on the subject, if you’ve got time. (Chapters 6 through 9 are particularly relevant to today’s issues with streaming games and music.)

A lot of people don’t seem to understand the damage that Nintendo’s ridiculous monopolizing practices have done to their own gaming community. It’s absurd of them to expect people to continue to pay for new releases of the same games on virtual console, not just once but every time a new generation of “virtual console” is released - and yet they keep doing it, and it’s just one of many ways they continually screw over their customers at a chance for a few more bucks, and somehow most of their audience thanks them for it. 

So what exactly do you want me to do?

Nintendo’s tried to suppress Melee tournaments in the past, but were forced to reverse their decisions following massive public outcry by the competitors and their fans. Regardless of how you feel about Melee in particular, what Nintendo is doing is scummy and actively malicious to the people that love their games, and the fact that they’re doing it again proves that they’re not interested in learning their lesson. Folks on twitter are using the tag #FreeMelee to protest; lending your voice for a tweet or two can only help. 

More generally, though, all we can really do is be critical of Nintendo’s games and actions, and to ask ourselves whether we’re really getting what we’re paying for. Nintendo will continue to take everything you offer them and will never be satisfied; they will do whatever they think they can get away with - and if their fans never challenge them, they’ll assume they can get away with anything, and that’s bad for everybody - but it’s worst of all for the people who ostensibly love and support Nintendo the most.

[bltngames]

Review: Hotshot Racing

(For this review, Hotshot Racing was played on the Nintendo Switch and the Personal Computer)

If you were to ask me what the most important features of a racing game are, somewhere near the top of the list would be artificial intelligence. Racing games are one of those genres, like fighting games or shooters, where simulating how real human people play the game is vital to the experience. They are inherently multiplayer concepts, even if you’re playing by yourself.

Focus on multiplayer artificial intelligence has waned over the last 15 years. With the rise of the premium multiplayer subscription, it’s more important than ever before to drive players to play matches with flesh-and-blood human beings online. Thus, advancements in “bot” (simulated human player) development hasn’t just slowed down, but in some cases actively regressed. Epic Games, once home to some of the smartest, most robust first person shooter bots in Unreal Tournament, now features bots in their popular Fortnite Battle Royale that fumble around the map with low attention spans and aim like they're blindfolded.

Humans are hard to simulate. The basic functions of a player are easy to emulate -- navigation, aiming, and so on, but it’s the organic logic underneath that proves to be the primary challenge. Humans have lapses in judgement. Humans make mistakes. Mistakes compound on other mistakes. A person wins or loses a given game because of a constantly cascading sequence of decisions, all feeding in to and out of themselves. Whether they realize it or not, every individual person is their own infinite web of chaos. For a computer, which operates in a binary of either perfect success or total failure, no amount of processing power can make for an accurate duplication.

As such, artificial intelligence has to “cheat.” Flaws are introduced into the simulation in order to throw the player a bone. Intelligence almost doesn’t even enter the equation; instead, it’s more about developing a bot that the player simply believes is human, like some kind of a magic trick. It’s a tight balancing act -- if the bot is too good, it looks like an unfeeling terminator. On the opposite, well… compare my Fortnite example up above. There’s a sweet spot that must be hit: smart, but not too smart. Dumb, but not too dumb. It’s easier said than done.

Racing games are a special category here. On top of simulating a human, they must also simulate an automobile, with all of its physical interactions. Tire friction, suspension bounce, weight distribution, and horsepower efficiency just to start. I’d argue that this lends to a much greater tendency for natural mistakes to occur, as the two different simulations (vehicle and player) interact and bounce off of each other. This has led to racing games relying on a handicap known as “rubberbanding.” Essentially, if the player is doing a little too well, the game will start giving tiny advantages to the computer-controlled racer. A boost to top speed, a reduction in weight to improve handling, whatever it takes to ensure the player does not remain unchallenged for very long.

Which finally, at long last, brings us to Hotshot Racing. Developed by Lucky Mountain Games, with assistance by Sumo Digital, it attempts to capitalize on the growing faux-retro-3D trend. It promises visuals to remind you of Sega’s Virtua Racing or Namco’s Ridge Racer, but with decidedly modern vehicle physics and a bit more content than any of those old games could muster.

It honestly makes for a weird first impression. This is a retro-looking game that does not feel like any retro racing game I’ve ever played. Some would undoubtedly argue that’s for the better; like with most sports games, there’s this sense that more simulation is always better. Even modern “arcade” racers like Need for Speed or Wreckfest run pretty robust physics simulations under their hoods, even if they do not necessarily adhere to the rules of reality. But I’ve honestly never seen a problem with this -- I will readily go back to something like Daytona USA or even Stunt Race FX on the Super Nintendo, and never feel especially bothered by their primitive simulations. To me, racing is often more about the sense of speed, how well the controls respond, and the track design than any notion of feeling “realistic.”

That’s not to say it’s really a negative that cars in Hotshot Racing have some vague facsimile of modern weight and “realism” applied to their driving physics, I guess. It’s just something that takes a little bit of getting used to, because seeing these cars drift and sway like the racing games of today is a little anachronistic to the era being called back to. If you still burn a candle for the eventual release of the long-lost Kickstarter darling “90’s Arcade Racer,” know that this isn’t that game. I think it’s fair to say it’s trying to scratch a similar itch, but it’s doing so in a very different way.

One of the more important things Hotshot Racing brings to the table is a roster of personalities to race as and against. When you think of characters in a racing game, your mind probably more naturally gravitates towards something like Mario Kart or some other similarly kid-friendly cartoon racing franchise. For most "serious" racing games, your opponents are unknowable, faceless competitors, but Hotshot gives them voices and identities. Every character in the game has a garage of four cars unique to them, in addition to having their own story to tell. It’s nothing especially deep; most plot manifests in a single cutscene played at the end of a given grand prix, sort of like what you'd get for finishing arcade mode in a game like Street Fighter 2. It’s just a snippet, a taste of what motivated these people and what they’re going to do after winning, but it’s enough.

It goes back to what I said earlier, and how it’s important for the player to believe the artificial intelligence is more than just a computer. Making the racers into characters, with identifiable personalities, faces, and dialog goes a long way to fleshing things out and makes you connect with what’s going on just a little bit better. Or at least, that’s how things would work in theory.

The problem is… well, none of that matters. Put simply, the actual artificial intelligence you race against kind of sucks. In fact, it’s hard to even call them competitors, because your opponents seem to be running a different race where you straight up don’t exist. During any given event, your rival computer drivers seem to be totally blind to your presence, as they will spend the entire race trying to drive straight through you. I don’t know how else to explain it. This isn’t a simple case where the computer drivers are a little aggressive, because they usually aren’t racing to be destructive. They never seem to specifically go out of their way to attack, they just don’t seem to be able to see where you are, and make no effort to react to your presence. You happen to be in their way, so they plow through from behind, ram from the side, and generally just knock you around as if you were invisible.

A side effect to this is something I’ve started noticing in games that bear the Sumo Digital name: computer drivers can hit you way harder than you can hit them back. Whether rubbing against a rival car or engaging in a full-on collision, computer drivers always seem to be able to overpower player vehicles no matter what. In Hotshot Racing, I’ve encountered multiple scenarios where a computer driver shoves me around with little effort, but any attempts to return the favor and my car may as well be made out of styrofoam for how little impact there is. I know Sumo Digital only assisted Lucky Mountain Games on the back half of developing Hotshot Racing, but this has been a consistent element I’ve noticed in Sumo’s Sonic Racing games, too. The computer can be as aggressive (or as blind) as they want, but human players are never allowed to retaliate in a way that feels meaningful.

The worst, by far, is what I mentioned earlier: rubberbanding. “First place” in Hotshot Racing is an often endless war of attrition, where no matter how fast you drive, there are always cars nipping at your heels. Hotshot Racing has a boost system, wherein by drifting or drafting you charge up a segmented meter. Once a segment is full, you can burn it for a burst of speed. I’ve spent 2, 3, even 4 consecutive boosts in a row and the same three opponents were still right behind me, aiming to blindly smash my car out of the way. Hard, medium, or easy mode, it doesn’t matter. They are always there, just a few feet from your rear bumper, magically closing the distance to constantly steal your lead.

From a game design perspective, I understand why rubberbanding exists. It’s to keep the player feeling challenged and engaged. Spending too long in first place going unopposed can start to feel boring. Some game designers view that as a turn off. Races are meant to be battles. At the same time, being able to totally shut out my opponents and gain huge leads makes me feel good. Hotshot Racing robs you of that sense of total domination because of some artificial rule of competitiveness. It’s not that the computer-controlled racers are better than you; they don’t seem to race with any sort of great care or skill. Instead, they catch up and pass you strictly because the Hand of God bends the rules to accommodate them. That doesn’t feel very challenging and it certainly doesn’t feel fair.

That being said, the pseudo-realistic physics mentioned earlier do have their own downside: I found it a little too easy to lose control of my vehicle and spin out. If you brush against a wall wrong or get bumped by a rival during a drift, you often find yourself in a tailspin and unable to recover. Combined with the blind artificial intelligence and the rubberbanding, you have a recipe for getting frustrated. I want to feel confident in my losses, not because I couldn’t predict what Mr. Magoo was going to do next. To add insult to injury, the rubberbanding only gets more prominent as you move up in difficulty, so expect to get spun out more and more as you progress through the game.

There also isn’t a lot to do with your vehicles, either. For many, tuning is an important aspect of racing games, going all the way back to 1989’s “Super Off Road” in the arcades. No upgrade path is available for any of the vehicles in Hotshot Racing, with a basic unlock system geared towards limited cosmetic tweaks. There's tons of tracks to race on, and you constantly earn currency for winning races, but I never cared about spending any of it, because there wasn't much worth buying. Arguably the specific mid-90′s era that Hotshot Racing is aiming at wasn’t really heavy on upgrading or modifying around vehicle stats, but neither were they focused on visual customization either, so it does feel a little arbitrary what they chose to modernize about this experience and what is intended to be a retro tribute.

Beyond standard racing, Hotshot does offer a few alternative modes, but none of them are spotlight features. “Barrel Barrage” has you earning an explosive barrel to drop behind you at every checkpoint until the track becomes a minefield. “Drive or Explode” takes the concept of 1994’s “Speed” and straps a bomb to your car that will explode if you slow down for too long. Finally, “Cops & Robbers” is a confusing push-and-pull where you must steal money as a robber and alternatively wreck other racers as a police officer. Of the three modes, “Drive or Explode” is the clear winner, as it most easily fits into the standard three-lap structure the game centers around. “Barrel Barrage” is merely okay, and benefits more from an increased number of laps, as things slowly get more and more dangerous as you progress. These modes would also benefit if I didn’t get thrown back to the menu after every race; they really needed some kind of Grand-Prix-style playlist.

“Cops & Robbers” deserves its own entire paragraph for what a weird idea it is. It’s less about stealing and arresting and has more in common with the “zombie” modes seen in other games, where everyone gets converted to a specific team until there are no more players left. The idea is that you start with a pot of money that slowly depletes, and you have to race to the next checkpoint to cash out. The faster you get there and the higher amounts you cash out with, the more the cops specifically will target you. Once they wreck your car, you become one of the cops, and it’s your job to wreck the remaining robbers until they all become part of the cop team. Once all the robbers become cops, winners are tallied based on who stole the most money. On paper, this works, because it plays into the game’s slap-happy nature, but in practice I would find myself miles ahead of my fellow robbers and once I finally switched over to a cop, I had to slam on my brakes and wait for everyone else to catch up. By then, the computer-controlled cops had usually done most of my work for me and I lost for... being a better robber than a cop, somehow? It left a lot to be desired.

All of these modes can be played online, where presumably human players would make them more balanced and fun, but finding random pick-up games proved difficult in the time I spent with Hotshot Racing. Now, to be fair, I didn’t try especially hard -- racing games have always been a single player experience for me, as should be obvious by my spiel on artificial intelligence. But I did spend a couple nights trying to match into an online “Quick Race” on the Switch, where I universally came up empty handed. On the PC version of Hotshot Racing (which I received as part of a Humble Bundle), the application completely froze upon trying to start a “Quick Race” lobby, forcing me to ALT+F4 to close the game. For what it’s worth, the Switch version does also include a “local multiplayer” option for playing wirelessly with friends in the same room, and all versions support traditional split-screen.

Despite all of these shortcomings, I just can’t bring myself to hate Hotshot Racing, and it’s hard to pinpoint why. I’m definitely in love with this aesthetic -- the retro visuals, the upbeat music, the blue, blue skies (that I see), it all appeals to a certain part of my brain that likes razor-sharp, ultra-clean polygons. The introduction of named racers with backstories and character-specific “endings” is a really smart, fun idea. I just wish it was more fun to actually, like… run a race in this game. I understand the necessity behind concepts like rubberbanding, but it feels like the artificial intelligence cheats just a little too much, and as a player I don’t feel like I can do a lot to fight back. Running a good race isn’t always good enough.

Some games deliberately incite a feeling of disempowerment in their players, and that can be a totally valid design decision. But should that really be the goal of this kind of racing game? I guess I don’t have an answer for that, but I do know that I probably won’t be going back to Hotshot Racing very often.

[evajellion]

Why Suketoudara is (one of) the most well-developed characters in Puyo Puyo

You ever just look back at how far the Puyo Puyo and Madou Monogatari franchise has come, and think about how much the characters have changed over the years? 

Some have become main stay recurring cast members, while sadly some others have been completely left in the dust or remain in Quest or other spin-off titles. Others become more amazing in hindsight, such as Schezo and Rulue (even if most can argue SEGA dropped the ball on their character in recent times), starting off as slightly minor characters, getting their own arcs.

Witch is also pretty incredible to think about, what once was a mere mook enemy became one of the most popular characters, obtained her own spin-off title, and co-starred in a Madou game with Schezo.

Then you have the most interesting case imo, which is Suketoudara. What makes him so incredible? When you look at his actual personality and character, and how it’s changed across games… for the better!

Since I said I would talk about this after seeing @superbuffalo007​‘s post, I decided it’s time the unspoken truth is finally said-- which is Suketoudara’s character across the games.

So originally, Suketoudara started off no differently than Witch and Draco. The only huge key difference was his character design, in which rather than being a cute humanoid girl… Suketoudara was a funny fish with human arms and legs that liked to dance. His design was goofy albeit uncanny (especially in the PC98 Madou), which probably got some designers at Compile to chuckle, nothing more.

He was a blank slate enemy, nothing more, nothing less. And once we got the first two Puyo Puyo games, which had “Manzai” based dialogue for comedic purposes. We learn that this funky fish prides himself and his beautiful legs. I mean, to be completely fair… he does. Usually in these games (and Puyo Sun), Arle was the straight man while Suketoduara was the goof.

Out of nowhere, the guy skyrocketed in popularity. He, Nasu, and Carbuncle were easily marketable characters due to their distinct, funny appearance which I assume made them very popular with younger fans. In commercials, you would probably often see this character be frequently used-- that’s how iconic his design was. His personality though, was about as shallow as everyone else’s.

This changed of course, in 1996 and onward, where Compile decided “hey, maybe we should do more with this character besides just having him dance”.

In 1996, Madou Monogatari Hanamaru Daiyouchi Enji (Big Kindergarten Kids) would be released for the Super Famicom. Rather than the usual dungeon-crawler, this game took inspiration from the likes of A Link to the Past, Final Fantasy, and Earthbound in terms of its overworld design. More importantly though, it took what was once mere mooks, the most popular characters, and made some of them into full-on major bosses you had to fight.

Amongst those characters are Nasu Grave, Skeleton-T, Mini-Zombie, and Suketoudara (called Jr. in this game).

You know who wasn’t? Uh… Witch and Draco, if you can believe that. Yeah, that’s right. Suketoudara was a major, if not the main antagonist for a good chunk of this game, while Witch and Draco remained mere mooks. That’s pretty incredible if you ask me!

He’s the typical schoolyard bully/delinquent, going around causing problems for several towns and even stooping as far as to steal eggs from dragons. Suketoudara constantly meddles in Arle’s quest, and it only comes to an end one day after sending Arle a letter, in which he challenges her directly at her school. Turns out he just happens to have the last Secret Stone.

And at the end of the game, after Arle defeats Devil, the true main antagonist? Suketoudara has a complete change of heart, asking for Arle’s forgiveness, realizing he focused too much on his training, even saying he wants to be Arle’s henchman instead.

He even calls her “sis”, in a relatively friendly way, after everything he had done.

Whether or not you consider this game canon, it added a lot to Suketoudara (if this is the same as the one in the Puyo Puyo titles, and not Jr. as in a child of his). Suketoudara was a foul-mouthed bully in his youth, a complete contrast to the innocent, playful Arle. But he changed for the better after Arle told him to reflect on himself. That is way more characterization than Draco has ever received.

Suketoudara got fleshed out further in a couple of DiscStation games, both a year before Hanamaru and two years after, we would get some really interesting development, which would of course come from his interactions with another character.

DiscStation Volume 9 is (presumably) when we would first see Suketoudara interacting with Serilly in the game “Madou Sugoroku”, a Mario Party-esque game that seems to have no real story, pairs of characters are just competing while Harpy serves as the game hostess. This would be one of the earliest instances of Suketoudara being shown to have a crush on Serilly.

DiscStation Volume 18 would give us Serilly’s Happy Birthday, a game where Serilly uses a magical stone to go up to the surface in the hopes that she’ll make a friend that will celebrate her birthday with her, rather than leaving Serilly to celebrate it alone.

While I am sadly uncertain about the full details of this visual novel, it seems that in Suketoudara’s route, he collapses due to a drug Witch had made, so Serilly nurses him back to health by making an antidote. This leads to Suketoudara, a normally brash and selfish character, to become warmer and open up to Serilly. Again though, this is a loose translation of what transpires.

Lastly for DiscStation, we have Madou RUN! 

A game featuring Arle, Schezo, Witch… and not Satan, not Rulue, not Draco, but Suketoudara! In this game, our four protagonists compete in a game of tag set up by Momomo, for an object known as the Dragon Ball, which can grant any wish.

Oddly enough, rather than it being about his dancing, the only wish on Suketoudara’s mind is that he wants to be closer to Serilly. Mind you that the other three characters are more interested in the power of the Dragon Ball to become stronger, while Suketoudara just wants to improve his relationship with a friend he has feelings for.

His attitude in this game is notably far less aggressive when compared to how overly competitive Witch and Schezo are, a far cry from how Suketoudara used to be in the earliest Puyo Puyo games.

In Puyo Puyo~n, we have yet another cheerful Suketoudara, as opposed to the grouchy, territorial one we saw in past mainline Puyo titles. Much like the previously mentioned DiscStation games, Suketoudara is primarily just interested in Serilly’s presence, stuttering in a shy manner around her, and feeling crestfallen when Serilly says that he’s only a friend.

He only starts to lash out against Arle once he thinks that Serilly only called him a friend because another person was embarrassing her. To be fair, pretty rude of Arle to make comments or butt in. Overall? It seems that Serilly has had a positive influence on Suketoudara, but he still had some of his temper.

In Puyo Puyo Box, nothing interesting happens, but Suketoudara definitely mellowed out in the Quest Mode. Similarly in Minna de Puyo Puyo, Suketoudara only wants Arle to watch him dance, which she ignores in a rude manner.

After a couple years of going missing, Suketoudara returns in Puyo Puyo! 15th, and is arguably, the most friendly of the returning Compile characters next to Zoh Daimaoh.

Unlike Satan, Rulue, and Schezo, who are rude and dismissive of the Fever characters, Suketoudara seems happy to meet new faces and actively encourages them through dialogue usually related to dance. No mention of Serilly is made, but that just proves that unlike Rulue, he can go without thinking or talking about his love interest for every two scenes.

And also unlike 90% of 15th’s roster, he doesn’t get screwed over by the fake wishing medal. He makes a simple, short wish where he says he wants to be first to do solo dances.

Puyo Puyo 7, in my opinion, is the peak, friendliest Suketoudara has been in any game. Ringo runs into him, and rather than being actively antagonistic, he explains that he was with Arle (possessed by Ecolo) and got lost, so he asks for her help. In exchange, Suketoudara assists for a short period of time. He tries to persuade Rulue out of attacking him, manages to hold a decent conversation with Satan and Carbuncle, even showing concern about Arle’s strange behavior! 

He, along with Satan, are the only Madou characters in 7 that were genuinely worried about Arle. Schezo, Skeleton-T, Draco, and Rulue did not care in the slightest. He has grown from not wanting Arle around at all to being a friend that does care about her!

Puyo Puyo 20th… sadly took a step back, with Suketoudara obsessively searching for his shoes. A lot of the characters were jerks in this game though, so it’s not a problem exclusive to him. If anything, I’d argue he’s the tamest example and just being plain comedic.

Thankfully, in Puyo Puyo Tetris and Puyo Puyo Chronicle, Suketoudara was back to being his cheery self, unlike in 20th. He just wants to show off his dance moves, has friendly enough conversations with Arle, Ringo, and Ally-- playing Puyo just for fun rather than an offense reason…

Ess on the other hand… yeah, she’s straight-up rude to him, and he rightfully defends himself. I should note that through all of these games, Serilly went completely unmentioned, which might mean that Suketoudara actually got over his infatuation for Serilly. Even with her grand return in Puyo Puyo Chronicle, the two never have a conversation.

That being said, I definitely do think that Serilly’s kind personality, and if taken as canon, Suketoudara’s rivalry with Arle in Hanamaru, definitely molded him into being one of the most grown characters in the entire series. He went from being the typical jerk with only thing on his mind, to being an upbeat, helpful character that is willing to put dancing aside when there are greater matters at hand. Puyo Puyo 7, Tetris, and Chronicle are the arguable proof of this.

That’s why I like this character so much. That’s why I feel the fan-base kinda takes him for granted-- they don’t know about his evolution throughout the games. He went from a funny jerk, to a guy with a crush, to someone with a confident and friendly personality.

Because of that… I am honestly completely fine with Suketoudara staying for future mainline games. Even if he doesn’t add much, at least he isn’t as actively unpleasant as he was in Compile’s early run.

[mycasandstarrs]

SPN 8x06: “Southern Comfort”

THEN: Garth Fitzgerald IV. Sam retired because he met Amelia and they had a normal life. Dean was in Purgatory. Benny’s his new friend, whom Sam immediately distrusts.

Kearney, Missouri.

RIP first victim. Decapitated.

Oh shit, here we go.

“You want to talk about Benny? Fine. Let's talk.”

“Okay. How about he's a vampire?”

Don’t talk to Dean like he’s 5.

“Don't pretend I don't get it. I know you had to do what you had to down there.” No, Sam doesn’t get it. He didn’t just “do what he had to do”. Dean genuinely befriended Benny after going through Purgatory together.

“And what about my friend, Amy? She was what? 'Cause you sure as hell didn't have a problem ganking her.” 

Amy had been killing people.

Benny hasn’t killed a single person since coming out of Purgatory.

You spent ONE DAY with Amy. Dean spent a year with Benny.

“He tell you he's not drinking live blood, or something? And you believe him. Wow. Okay.” HE KNOWS, HE’S SEEN BENNY DRINK FROM HIS BAGS.

“Yeah. I got a vampire buddy, and you turn your phone off for a year.”

“Don't turn this on me.”

You’re using Dean’s past year against him, he’s gonna turn around and do the same to you, regardless if it’s fair or not.

“Look, Benny slips up and some other hunter turns his lights out, so be it.”

“But it's not gonna be you, right?”

It is, actually, and it’s gonna be heartbreaking, so screw you very much.

At the crime house.

“Sam, Kevin's in the wind, okay, you're sulking around like a eunuch in a whorehouse, and I can't help but ask myself, when is decapitation not my thing?“ pfft.

Garth!!!

I really don’t get the annoyance they have with Garth??? That’s always been an issue of mine concerning the Winchesters.

Look how happy Garth is to see them again! What an angel!!

“Uh, you guys have no idea how much I missed you.”

“A Texas Ranger, Garth? Seriously? We're in Missouri.” Says the man who’ll say he’s a Texas Ranger in Kansas in S13.

Garth’s multiple phones.

Ringtone #1: “Jump” by Kriss Kross.

“Since when is giving advice your job?”

“Hold up. Are you the new Bobby?”

“You shut your mouth.”

“Yes.”

“You shut your mouth!”

I could honestly punch Sam and Dean for how mean they are to Garth. Garth’s been helping out as best as he could since three of the best hunters in the community either died or went M.I.A.

Scott Lew.

Eww. Green goo.

OHHH WHY DID GARTH HAVE TO TASTE IT????

Ringtone #2: “Wild Wild West” by Kool Moe Dee.

“One of those things rings Hammer, I'm throwing down.” Get ready to throw down then.

“Alcott” was carved into Chester’s chest.

“Do you remember anything at all about what happened? Um... Chester dying?”

“Not really. Bits and pieces, I guess.”

I get the joke too, Garth.

A visible negative reaction to the name “Alcott”.

“Sara had one night with him, whereas I was with Chester for 37 years.” And yet you couldn’t let go of her going to prom with him?

Lunch time.

“I was in Purgatory.”

“Like the Purgatory Purgatory?”

“No, the one in Miami.”

ohoho.

“Man, that’s balls.”

“That's not how you say ‘balls.’"

Why don’t you cool your damn jets, Dean?

“So, how’d you get out?”

I CAN’T STAND that passive aggressive move Sam does there.

Garth went to college and then dental school.

“Where'd you think I got my first case?”

“Let me guess - Tooth Fairy.”

“...Yeah. Man, I felt terrible when I ganked that SOB.”

I love that last line and the genuine sadness when Garth says it. Bless his heart.

Scott’s asthmatic, and he’s got ectoplasm coming out his ear.

HOT COFFEE TO THE FACE, GOOD LORD.

RIP Jeff. Killed by Scott.

“Sussex”

One of Bobby’s hats!

STOP BEING A FREAKING GATEKEEPER DEAN

“That's not how you wear it.” WHAT OTHER WAY IS THERE TO WEAR A HAT

AGAIN I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY THEY TREAT GARTH LIKE AN ANNOYANCE TO DUMP ON EACH OTHER.

Sara Alcott, now Sara Brown.

Domestic Sam flashback. 

Sam and Amelia had sex. 

“You asked me if I lost someone. I did. My husband. He died in Afghanistan eight months ago.”

“We were together forever. Or at least it seemed that way. Then one day, Don just enlists. Didn't ask me, just said something about wanting to do the right thing. Next thing I know, he's off overseas and I'm all alone. I got a couple letters, some phone calls, and then a knock at the door. Just like that. And everywhere I looked, all I could see was judgment and pity and just this constant reminder of Don everywhere. So I moved here... and became even more of a hot mess than I already was. And you hit a dog.”

This is one of Amelia’s better moments. When she lets go, when she lets her walls down, she’s honest and sweet.

“Easy there, flyweight. Last time you drank a beer, I had to pick you up off the floor.” Fair enough.

“You’re such an idjit.”

“Idjit's supposed to be used angrily. Okay? Not happy. If you're gonna butcher it, don't say it at all.”

KNOCK IT OFF, DEAN.

“Bobby belonged to all of us, Dean – not just you and Sam. Now, I'm just taking what he showed me and trying do something with it. That's all!”

It’s nice to see Garth stand up for himself. It certainly shut Dean up.

Grudges are the connection.

Bobby’s journal holds the answer: spectre.

The Confederate Unknown Soldier.

“See, the idea was, they took a faceless, nameless soldier they couldn't identify, and they buried him here to commemorate all the soldiers who died.”

“Did you learn that in college?”

“Nope – Civil War re-enactments. Once a year, every year. Don't hate.”

I hope Garth’s still doing what he loves.

Love that sass.

Sam finds the string. That’s an important clue.

“Why open it up if you're not gonna take anything?” Oh, but they did.

“Sure. We won.”

LMAAOOOO I LOVE THAT

Scott’s having an asthma attack. Deputy goes to get the inhaler...gets possessed by the spectre.

RIP Sheriff. Killed by Deputy Doug

Did Scott even get his inhaler?

Our next lead: Karl.

Dean’s on Karl, Sam and Garth have research.

“Hey, uh, Sam. If you ever need to talk, I just want to let you know that I'm here. About anything – you know, life, uh, Dean, you.” Garth’s a sweetheart.

Flashback.

“Hey. Uh, just lock up when you leave. I'm late.”

“Wait, what?”

Amelia’s probably got work, don’t worry about it, Sam.

“I know I said a lot of things last night, and I know I can't ask you to forget them. But just... Do.” And then she’s back on her bullshit.

“Because I don't need your pity. I don't need you looking at me the way they all – like that.” Is it me or is she confusing pity with sympathy?

“Hey, ump. You remember me? I stole second!”

“Karl? What the hell are you doing? Why are you doing –”

“Why am I gonna make mustard from your brain stem?! I don't know. Why did you call me out, ump?”

OF ALL THE THINGS TO HOLD A DAMN GRUDGE ABOUT

A theory on who the Confederate Unknown Soldier is.

“Corporal Collins of the Union shot and killed his brother, Vance, who fought for the Confederacy. Local boys.”

“Legend has it that Vance swore vengeance on his brother with his dying breath. Years later – consumed by guilt, no doubt – the corporal dug his brother up where he'd buried him on the battlefield and brought him home.” 

UH, DID HE HAVE TO SMELL HIM LIKE THAT?

There’s the spectre’s object: a penny.

W E L P

Three Days Ago. 

“Fell on Black Days” by Soundgarden. I always wondered what the song was, I always enjoyed it.

I love the montage of how the coin got passed around.

“Well, let's go through some of Sammy's greatest hits.” Let’s not.

“Yeah, I might have lied, but I never once betrayed you.” Uh, Amy. 

“I never once left you to die.”  Ok, can’t argue with that.

Garth putting his life on the line. 

“Come on, Dean. You do not want to kill your brother. You – you've been protecting him your whole life. Don't stop now.”

“He left me to rot in Purgatory!”

“All right. All right. Maybe he did. I don't know. I wasn't there. But I'm sure he had his reasons.”

“Just like you had your reasons for Benny.”

“Who?”

LMAO

“Benny has been more of a brother to me this past year than you've ever been! That's right. Cas let me down. You let me down. The only person that hasn't let me down is Benny.” Oof, that’s gonna stick with Sam.

“Goodbye, Sam.” :(

NICELY DONE, GARTH!

“How come that penny didn't jack you like everyone else? I mean, I can understand why it didn't affect the kid who took it. He's young and innocent. But, uh, everyone at some point in their life feels like they've been screwed.”

“Not me, man. I let all that stuff go with the help of my yogi, my Sega Genesis. And you should, too. You can't change the past, amigo.”

Garth’s a damn saint.

“Now, there's something I want to say to you. Stop being a idjit! With Bobby dead, you and Sam are all each other has. And that's not so bad, man. Now, you know what's coming next, right?”

Garth hug! Garth hug! Garth hug!

Ringtone #3: “U Can’t Touch This” by M.C Hammer.

“Yo, Lamar. What do we got? Wendigo? You got a flare gun? No? What about a flame thrower?  Then you'd better get some sneakers, buddy, 'cause you're gonna have to run.”

I love Garth.

Why couldn’t we have ended the episode there?

“I don't pity you. Okay? I don't. You and I – we're a lot of things, but we're not to be pitied.” True.

God, how much was she drinking?

The start of their relationship.

“You and I both know you didn't need that penny to say those things.” True. Dean will reiterate that Benny’s the best friend he ever had in a later episode, completely on his own will.

“Own up to your crap, Dean. I told you from the jump where I was coming from, why I didn't look for you. But you? You had secrets. You had Benny. And you got on your high and mighty, and you've been kicking me ever since you got back. But that's over. So move on, or I will.”

Again, I won’t argue with Sam. Dean should’ve told Sam about Benny from the jump (maybe then Sam wouldn’t hate Benny so much). Dean does deflect from talking about his own past year but bringing up Sam’s. It’s been happening for months and Sam’s sick of it. I get it.

“You know what? Hear this, too. I just might be that hunter that runs into Benny one day and ices him.”

And there^ is where I draw the line. The first half was understandable but that^? I think that’s Sam’s rather pathetic attempt to say something that’s gonna hurt Dean’s feelings the way his own feelings were hurt. Like, Sam...don’t embarrass yourself.

[classicdaisycalico]

🔥 for the Sonic series as well ;)

Send me a “ 🔥 “ for an unpopular opinion.

Hoo boy you just opened another entire can of worms here

So uhhh let’s get started shall we?

First of all, people need to stop bitching about whether or not the classic games are the best or the Adventure-era games or the modern games. All Sonic games have their ups and downs. To say that their greatness stopped after [insert Sonic game here] is really rude and puts down a lot of other people who genuinely like the series and all it has to offer.

With this in mind, I genuinely like Sonic ‘06…at least, in theory. If Sega hadn’t rushed it the way they did (and I feel awful about all the pressure that was put on them in order to put something out there), then I’m sure we would have had a genuinely excellent game and we definitely wouldn’t have as much of a divide in the fandom. Of course, I am not without my fair share of opinions on it, though.

Let’s just get right down to it, shall we? We didn’t need Elise and that awkward “romantic” subplot. It felt kinda…forced in some ways? Furthermore I don’t even think that the princess in the story should have been Elise. It should have been Blaze. She could still be the same character implemented in the exact same way and everything, but carrying all of Elise’s role in the story would have made SO much more sense. It would give her a larger reason to be a part of the storyline, too. Also…SOL Dimension? SOLeanna? SOL Emeralds? SOLaris? Sega missed out on a golden opportunity here. I think they should hire me for a remake of this game.

Speaking of Blaze, WHERE WAS SHE IN FORCES?! I know she’s gonna show up in IDW at some point, I think, but if the Phantom Ruby can mess with other dimensions, then Blaze popping up in the in-game story could have made sense. Also, where was Big in all this? Where was Cream? And her mom? And most importantly, where were all the Chao and the animal buddies? Sonic games aren’t the same without Chao :(

Now let’s change the subject here and get to the voice actors. I genuinely like this voice cast a lot. Roger’s voice still sits a little too deep for a 15 year old, I think, but he delivers the snark so well it’s grown on me.

I like that Cindy Robinson doesn’t sound too Minnie Mouse with her take on Amy, but I still like Liza Ortiz’s slightly better since her 12 year old voice is a little more believable.

Quinton Flynn makes a good Silver. His voice doesn’t bite as much as Pete Capella’s voice used to. Quinton sounds much…calmer? But he still manages to capture both the vulnerability in his voice and the strong sense of justice he maintains.

Kirk Thornton is doing an amazing job with Shadow. I know he had a little bit of trouble adjusting in earlier games but he has improved so much. I don’t like his take on Boom!Shadow, though. He didn’t have to make him sound so gruff.

Kathleen Delaney’s voice for Rouge was absolutely atrocious. Bringing Karen Strassman in was such an enormous relief. I like how she implement’s Rouge’s coy and witty nature, but Lani Minella still holds out as my #1 Rouge VA.

Speaking of Rouge, people need to understand that Rouge is not just your stereotypical “sexy female character”. Being flirty and confident is party of her personality, yes, but it’s both of those things that contribute to what is undoubtedly the biggest part of her character: her wits. Rouge can use what her mama gave to manipulate any enemy ever and later physically kick their ass in a matter of seconds. That’s pretty badass, in my book.

Speaking of female characters, Amy is more than her crush on Sonic, and the writers need to figure this out. Amy is a dedicated girl who throws her heart and soul into all that she does, and if she’s ever fighting alongside her friends, she’ll fight to the death for everyone there that she loves. Yeah, she just so happens to be more vocal and physically aggressive than most, particularly when it comes to Sonic, but she is only 12, after all. And even then, her crush has been significantly toned down, which I appreciate, since it means the writers are finally getting it.

Speaking of the writers, I notice that a lot of people complain about Pontac and Graff’s way about writing storylines for a lot of the games recently. And yes, that is true; while I do like the way they write humor, the things I don’t like are the plotholes that seem to stay empty at times, and some minor characterization things. While they do get the big picture about certain characters’ thoughts and actions, it’s the small stuff they seem to overlook, and missing all the small things can add up and make the characters overall attitude in a game seem off.

Speaking of characterization, I’m still bitter about the way they handled Infinite’s backstory. SO MUCH MORE could have been done with him, and yet his motivation for becoming what he became was chalked all up to simply being bored with the current state of the world. I’m not bitter lol

Lastly, let’s get to ships. There are a few that I’m not completely on board with, and shipping Knuckles with Rouge basically tops the list. I always feel like I’m one of the only people on this hellsite that doesn’t ship the two together (anyone who knows me knows that Shadouge is my OTP for the Sonic series). I just feel like there’s a stronger bond and overall sense of closeness that Shadow and Rouge has that Knuckles and Rouge doesn’t. Most of the time, their interactions are generally negative and sometimes even played up for comic relief. I don’t see those kinds of interactions culminating into a relationship, I just don’t.

I’m not on board with Sonaze, either. Sorry guys! I feel like Blaze wouldn’t want to ruin one of her first real friendships with someone who she used to hate. Friendship has become something really special to Blaze, and trying to move beyond it, especially with someone who is not on board with romantic relationships most of the time, would probably not be the best move to make, anyway. I think it’s for the best if she left her friendship as it was.

Shadamy is a little unsettling. Shadow saw a comparison in Amy to Maria in Sonic Adventure 2, right? So at best, I think he sees her as something akin to a little sister figure, just like how Shadow saw with Maria. Also, I haven’t seen much interaction between the two of them since then (with a few minor exceptions, of course). So…how would that make any sense? (It’s through this reasoning that I can’t ship Shadow with Maria, either. Aside from the fact that she’s a literal human. Who is also currently dead.)

With all the times Sonic and Shadow have faced off against each other, I don’t see Sonadow happening. While they do harbor a mutual respect for one other, their personalities clash immensely, and pointing out their shit to each other every time that happens can turn ugly very quickly. The fact that it’s been going on for so long only justifies that reasoning further. (Sorry, guys!)

Phew. Okay. I’m done. Hopefully I don’t get crucified or burned at the stake or anything for this. (Especially that last bit. I swear I’m not homophobic, at least…I try not to be. Anyone who follows me would know that I try to educate myself on any LGBT+ issues as much as I can.)

Uhhh so that’s that. Hope you enjoy reading through all of this!

[yujachachacha]

Nope.. nope.. nopee.. if fairness is the cause of You being sidelined, i can't accept that.. every midpoll that show You being no.1 in that poll, everyone seems like united to bring her down.. if that bcs of fairness, why they vote yoshiko again (like in sif poll) not the other member that never get elected and she's still get more screen time in the anime... fck that!

Whoa there.

I’m a You fan too, so I’d also love it if You got more screen time. It’s all right to be disgruntled about it, but I still think that You being sidelined is at least understandable. I also think there are perfectly valid explanations as to why Yoshiko gets so much attention.

In fact, if you take a closer look at the polls, Yoshiko doesn’t have as many major “wins” as You does.

Look at what I said before: Yoshiko shows up more because she’s a character that needs more growth and development. As you can see in S2E11, Yoshiko still struggles with the fact that she’s not exactly a popular gal (within the anime-verse, not in real life lol). We get that nice little scene with Riko and Maru at the fortune-telling tent because it shows that Yoshiko has friends at her side who support her when she’s down. The audience needs to be told that there’s nothing to worry about - even though Yoshiko’s still kind of a hot mess, she’s working on it with the help of her friends.

I think part of the reason why so many people flock to Yoshiko is that they feel a bit of pity for her. She’s always plagued by misfortune, whether it’s being caught in the rain at inopportune moments, or missing her middle school trip due to catching the flu (see Question #6 in her Q&A section). You, on the other hand, is a popular girl who is well-liked by everyone and quite successful at almost everything she does. If You is already popular in the 2D world and Yoshiko isn’t, why not make it “fair” and give Yoshiko some well-deserved recognition in the 3D world?

As for Yoshiko’s screen time, well…it does certainly help that Yoshiko is a popular character and great for comic relief. Again, like I said before, You is more of a stabilizing force in the group (apart from moments like the being-crushed-by-Maru running gag in the Hakodate episode). She’s there for moments like Chika’s late-night MIRACLE WAVE practice, and for keeping Chika grounded when the mikan-loving leader gets panicked about the school closing down.

I think the fact that You doesn’t show up too often gives these moments more value. When You tells Chika that she’s always wanted to do something with Chika and will always be there for her in S2E11, it’s a very crucial scene. This is something that she’s said before, in S1E1 (when she tells Chika that she’ll join the school idol club) and in S1E11 (in her conversations with Mari and Riko). We don’t see her say it again until S2E11 because You is, at her core, a very private person when it comes to her feelings.

In S1E1, when she briefly showed a sentimental side of herself to Chika, You was quick to wave aside the moment with a giggle and cheerfully hand over a club application; in S1E11, You doesn’t talk about what’s bothering her until Mari directly confronts her about it; in S2E11, You checks to make sure she’s alone before re-enacting the club recruitment calls. We don’t really need to see You declaring her support for Chika too often because we know that she’s the first member who joined Aqours and the most dependable person in the group. When You does say her feelings out loud, however, it’s at moments when You is so full of emotion that she can’t hold herself back. That’s how heartfelt these declarations are.

Is it frustrating that we don’t get more cute and funny filler scenes from You? Sure. But the scenes we do get are pivotal - You rushing to hug Chika after their all-nighter at the deadline for saving the school speaks volumes about how well she knows Chika, and how much she cares for her best friend’s well-being.

I’m getting a bit off-topic here though. Let’s go back to the subject you brought up: the polls. Here are the results of the polls that have been done so far, roughly in chronological order of when the results were revealed; I’ll only be listing the top three for each:

2nd center election (KoiAqua): Midpoll = You / Ruby / Riko; Final = You / Ruby / Riko

Numazu Gamers poster girl: Midpoll = You / Yoshiko / Hanamaru; Final = Yoshiko / You / Hanamaru

Dengeki G’s cover girl: Midpoll = Hanamaru / Yoshiko / You; Final = Hanamaru / You / Chika (Note: Voters had to pick both a girl and a date spot, so some girls showed up multiple times in the final rankings, e.g. You + Date Spot 1 followed by You + Date Spot 2)

7-11 image girl: Midpoll = You / Riko / Hanamaru; Final = Riko / You / Hanamaru

3rd center election (HPT): Midpoll = Yoshiko / Kanan / Hanamaru; Final = Kanan / Yoshiko / Hanamaru

SIF Winter Promo UR (Snowboarding You): Midpoll = Hanamaru / You / Kanan; Final = You / Hanamaru / Kanan

Uraraji hosts (GuuRinPa): Midpoll = Yoshiko / Dia / Kanan; Final = Yoshiko / Dia / Chika (Note: Chika was in 4th place in the midpoll results)

Sega image girl: Midpoll = You / Chika / Hanamaru; Final = Hanamaru / Chika / Yoshiko

LisAni cover girl: You / Kanan / Chika (Note: AFAIK midpoll results weren’t released)

SIF 5th anniversary campaign girl: Midpoll = You / Riko / Yoshiko; Final = Yoshiko / Mari / Riko

I might have missed one or two, but these are all the polls I can recall at the moment. Using these results, here’s how many times each girl has won an election:

3 times = You, Yoshiko

2 times = Hanamaru

1 time = Riko, Kanan, Dia, Chika

0 (*Chika voice* It’s so frustrating!) = Ruby, Mari

Just based on the final results, you can guess that You, Yoshiko, and Maru are the most popular girls, with Ruby and Mari being near the bottom. And yes, with these numbers, it does seem that Yoshiko is abnormally popular. However, when you take some additional factors into account, Yoshiko’s ranking actually drops below You’s.

Here’s what you need to consider: why did a certain girl win a poll? And how much weight should you give that poll?

While the elections and polls do indicate a character’s popularity level, they only do so to a certain extent. You topped out polls very often in the early days, with her crowning moment being the KoiAqua center election. Winning a center election, especially at such an early stage for Aqours, is a really big deal.

Recall that when KoiAqua was released, the anime hadn’t aired yet, so many of the characters lacked substantial depth. In fact, the KoiAqua audio dramas provided the most character development at that point, as it established things such as: (1) You knowing when to hold Chika back to prevent poor Riko from going insane, (2) Kanan and Mari being chill while Dia stresses out in the background, and (3) Hanamaru getting along surprisingly well with Yoshiko’s fallen angel antics while also doting on Ruby. Our favorite yousoro kid provided the most interesting character profile at the time (Anchan once mentioned how “yousoro~” was already popular with crowds back in 2015 when they were promoting the KimiKoko album), and established herself as a popular character from very early on in the history of LLS.

To make it fair for others to get their chance in the spotlight, most people opted to vote for other characters in later polls. Even as a You fan myself, I didn’t vote for You in the 3rd single center election (for HAPPY PARTY TRAIN), and wasn’t really rooting for her in subsequent elections either. Poll results tend to be skewed because people want the distribution of wins to be “fair”. Chika and Riko don’t score too well in center elections because they had “Kimi no Kokoro wa Kagayaiteru kai?”, and You slipped down to around 5th place for the 3rd center election. This doesn’t mean they got less popular - it just means that the votes are going to other characters that deserve a shot at winning.

A center election is kind of like the ultimate prize - the character gets to have the main solo of a song, and be the star of an animated PV. Center elections have been a key part of the LL history ever since the inception of µ’s. These songs are “the story we realize together” as fans can influence what they want to see in the next single. Everyone knows that You is the center of KoiAqua, as it’s a major part of LLS history and is guaranteed multiple performances in live concerts. How many LL fans can you say will remember who the 7-11 image girl is in a year or two? Like, if I had to assign each poll a score of how important it is from 1 to 5, I’d probably give something like the LisAni cover girl a 1, the Sega cover girl a 2, and the center election a 10. Yes, you read that correctly. With how crucial music is to Love Live, you can’t really say that winning the rights to a limited-time figurine or one-time illustration tops a center election win. 

Because You won a major election, that does incentivize people to not vote for her in these polls. However, I think it speaks to You’s popularity that she gets 1st place in nearly every midpoll result despite this. Her ultimately failing to get 1st place at the end of the poll is less of an effort by others to “bring her down”, and more of a push to “raise others up”. Before the midpoll results come out, most people tend to vote haphazardly. After the results come out, people usually choose someone within the top three (as those girls have a better chance at winning) to support and then vote in a more organized manner. That’s how Suwawa and Aikyan ended up in an aggressive Twitter campaign for their girls during the HPT center election - Yoshiko was shown as 1st place while Kanan was 2nd in the midpoll results. The fact that You is nearly always in 1st place before this targeted voting begins is a sure sign that she’s generally popular overall.

It’s not like You never won a poll after the KoiAqua election, either - she won the SIF promo UR election last year, plus she became the LisAni cover girl earlier this year. Granted, the LisAni girl appeals were done while Season 1 was airing, and were made by the seiyuu to boot (so this might be a case of Shukashuu’s popularity helping out), but the fact still remains that it’s You who graced the cover of LisAni Vol. 29 back in May.

Now, what about Yoshiko winning the SIF Anniversary election? Since she already had two wins under her belt, wouldn’t it seem fair to give it to someone like Mari or Ruby?

First off, I did say that these polls aren’t necessarily a popularity contest, but that doesn’t mean that popularity has no effect on the results. The SIF 5th Anniversary Election was a unique poll because unlike other recent polls, it was literally a popularity contest (with a touch of nostalgia, as evidenced by Nico getting first place for µ’s). That meant that people would cast aside whose “turn” it was to win something, as they’d simply be voting for the campaign girl of their choice.

You also have to remember that this poll was a lot more well-known to the global community than other (non-center election) LLS polls due to it being SIF-based and involving all three LL generations. Like, I was actually surprised that Mari scored 2nd place for Aqours in the final tally because she’s not that popular in Japan. However, Mari does enjoy a lot of popularity in the English-speaking community, so I suspect that might have played a role in her final rank. The fact that Mari has yet to win anything might have boosted support for her as well.

As for Ruby - well, I predict that because of the Hakodate arc, we’re going to see a lot more love for Ruby in future polls. I’ve already heard stories of people going to shops and finding that prices for Ruby merchandise have started going up. But because those episodes started airing right as the poll was ending (S2E8 first aired on November 25, and the poll closed on November 26), Ruby was still suffering from relative unpopularity at the time. So, although it would have been nice for either Mari or Ruby to win, they simply didn’t have the numbers to support them.

I think that Yoshiko won the SIF election, and deserved to win, for two reasons: (1) Yoshiko is legitimately a popular character, and (2) Yoshiko hadn’t really won a major popularity contest before this.

Let me explain the second point. Recall that earlier in this post, I asked, “why did a certain girl win a poll? And how much weight should you give that poll?” I answered the second question, but didn’t fully address the first. What the first question amounts to is that if you look at Yoshiko’s two other wins, they were given to her for a specific reason rather than out of popularity.

We can illustrate this with another poll result. Hanamaru was 3rd place in the Sega image girl midpoll results, but ended up first place. If we consider the fact that people have a tendency to avoid voting for You because of KoiAqua, then why not vote for poor Chika instead, who’s never done well in polls? Well, in Hanamaru’s focus episode, she became strongly associated with Rin due to their shared self-consciousness about their femininity. Guess who the Sega image girl for µ’s was?

If it wasn’t obvious, then yes, Rin was the former Sega image girl.

So was this poll really an indication of popularity/fairness, or more like people voting for whoever they thought was the “rightful” winner of a certain prize?

A more famous example is the 3rd center election. This is a story that many people probably know by now, but I’ll tell it just in case: Kanan ranked last place in the 2nd center election, and had been in the bottom ranks for other polls before. The 3rd center election happened to start after S1 aired, and everyone was feeling particularly sensitive about how much Kanan had suffered (both in the anime sense during the Mijuku DREAMER episode, and in the meta sense for not getting a lot of lines initially in S1). People were insanely emotional about Kanan being able to go from the neglected character to the adored, beautiful star of the next major Aqours album, and celebrated triumphantly when it turned out that she actually won the election.

What’s important to remember with these “rightful” wins is that they have no bearing on whether it was that character’s “turn” to win - because if that win should have been given to the character in the first place, why should it count? (Song center elections are an exception to these wins not counting as a “turn”, which should hopefully be obvious by now after my explanation of their importance in LL.)

With that in mind, let’s look at Yoshiko’s first win - the Numazu Gamers election. Yoshiko was perceived as the “rightful” winner of that one because she was the Aqours member who had Numazu featured prominently in her character profile. You does also live in the area, but IIRC this fact was never established until the anime started airing. In addition, Yoshiko is described as an avid fan of gaming - and who better to represent a Gamers store than a gamer herself? Yoshiko did really deserve to win this one.

Now, how about the Uraraji poll? I’m gonna be honest here - I consider this more of a seiyuu poll than a character poll. Because Uraraji is hosted by the seiyuu, the voting for the hosts was really done with the seiyuu in mind. Kanan probably performed well in the midpoll results at first because Suwawa has such a calming radio voice, but ultimately most folks decided that someone else should have a chance to be a radio host. Ainya and Suwawa already have radio shows, and Kinchan has a regular gaming stream, so they were probably set aside for that reason. As entertaining as Shukashuu, Furirin, and Rikyako are, they’re kind of erratic on air and prone to wild behavior (LOL sorry guys).

Anchan was the first host of Uraraji, and has proven herself to be a capable leader of Aqours. She’s also hosted her own radio show before, so it’s likely that she was voted as a safe choice. Arisha, despite her busy schedule, was probably voted in as a combination of (1) being able to keep everyone in line during the show and (2) people wanting Dia to get some love in the polls.

So, what about Yoshiko/Aikyan?

All right, now here’s something I personally remember from Twitter at the time - the Uraraji election was done after Kanan was crowned the winner of the 3rd single election. When Aikyan found out that Yoshiko had slipped from 1st place to 2nd place, she posted an absolutely heartbreaking message about it. I’m too lazy to look for the original tweet, sorry…but roughly, she said something along the lines of it being frustrating to have been so close to winning, despite all the work she put into campaigning for Yoshiko (seriously, Aikyan and Suwawa were spamming tweets every day towards the end of the 3rd center election, going as far as snapping cute selfies to entice people to vote for their character). She vowed that the 4th center election would be her time to be victorious (as 4 is a number associated with death in Asia; quite fitting for a little demon).

(In fact, while it seems like Hanamaru is on most people’s minds for the 4th election - or at least that’s what I’ve seen on social media - I’ve already decided to vote for Yoshiko on behalf of Aikyan. )

I don’t remember where the idea spawned, but I did see a lot of talk afterwards about giving Yoshiko the #1 spot in the Uraraji poll to sort of “make up” for the 3rd center election loss (and also safeguard against Aikyan possibly getting crushed again if Yoshiko happened to not stay within the top 3). Granted, Yoshiko had already been doing pretty well in the poll, but the number of people pledging support for her grew exponentially during this time. Thus, even if you ignore the fact that the Uraraji election was more of a win for Aikyan than Yoshiko, it also happened to be a consolation prize. :\

So with that, we have You with two popularity contest wins under her belt (SIF promo UR poll and LisAni girl) plus a center election win (which alone probably counts as winning, like, 5 polls lol). Yoshiko has one (the SIF Anniversary poll), plus two wins that were sort of given to her. I think it’s safe to say that it seems pretty “fair” for poor Yoshiko to get some love.

In the end, you are allowed to be mad about You not getting more screen time. Does it seem unfair that she’s not winning more polls or getting more screen time? A little, yeah. But the fact remains that she’s a bit too popular for her own good, and she already won a major election (KoiAqua). It’d actually be unfair if You got to have a center song under her belt plus a lot of screen time plus more poll victories. When you take certain factors into consideration, the SIF Anniversary poll is really Yoshiko’s only legitimate popularity vote win. Please don’t abuse the poor fallen angel - she already goes through enough;;

And as a final note: honestly, I don’t really think the polls have too much impact on the anime. It’s already established that the anime-verse is separate from other branches of the series (e.g. Dia not being a school idol fan in the SIF stories, Kanan being the first one to join Aqours in the manga, Maru’s childhood friend being Ruby rather than Yoshiko in the SIDs). Necessities of plot and character growth are what mostly make up screen time. Why would the fact that one of the girls got to be a Sega image girl or a SIF campaign girl have anything to do with this…?

[bluemonstar-blog1]

10 Facts

I was tagged by @xsilence-is-blissx awhile ago c:

1. I absolutely love the day-time sky. I love how blue and free it is. I love to be under it on a warm day, surrounded by beautiful peaceful nature, without another soul near. Just me and the beautiful world as I know it. Though, I wouldn’t mind one other person to sit and talk with c:

2. I fucking love the Backstreet Boys. Like, everyone knows I love punk rock (Ramones, Millencolin, Offspring, even bands like H.I.M.) But I LOVE the Backstreet Boys ♡ [my favorite is Kevin]

3. I find the soundtrack to Wave Race 64 to be extremely calming and happy. The colors of that game are so nice, so that’s the vibe I associate with it. It gives me a really good “life is awesome” 90s kid vibe

4. When it comes to video games, I will ONLY play Nintendo. I hate PlayStation and Xbox with a passion. Though, I do love Sega (DreamCast & Genesis ftw!) And the only time I’ll play PlayStation, is PS2 old smackdown games and Grand Theft Auto Vice City, or ATV off-road fury 2. Tony Hawk games were on Nintendo too, so, we covered, BOI.

5. I write and record my own tunes. They’re all punk distorted as hell. I don’t professionally record anything. It’s a shit fender plugged into an old bass amp, volume up high, recorded on my cell phone in my bedroom, and I scream sing my heart out. I’m barely a musician. Just a poet voicing my broken heart and dreams as loud as i can. (I was in a band 2006-2009. I played bass, hence the bass amp. I quit for a cosplay group, and began a serious relationship with someone there. That person gave me a blue fender guitar. Which I still play today, and named after our anniversary date. That group soon folded, and my relationship ended on a poor note years later. But i still play Blue 3:10 proudly, with the addition of my signature alien head and “Alexis” drawn on it)

6. I’ve seen H.I.M. twice and they’re the absolute best live band I’ve seen (and I’ve seen quite a few) and I’m so bummed they’re broken up now. They’ve been with me since early teen years, and all the firsts that happen on that road. Including romance and heartbreak of my early 20’s.

7. I drink too much soda (and I’m a free-loada!) [My lyrics haha] but yeah I drink way too much soda. I’m scared I’ll give myself a kidney stone or something, because it’s all i drink. That and coffee. I’m in love/hate with sugar. I crave it all the time.

8. For the reason above, I’m missing 9 teeth and probably more in the future. I’m extremely insecure about this, but I’m growing more comfortable with it. I’m a weirdo anyway. As if a full white smile would make people like me. Right. Someone though, even went as far as saying my missing teeth smile was cute.

9. I dont drink. I dont smoke anything. I dont use drugs. I dont like that stuff at all, and makes my anxiety freak. I don’t even do hookups because my heart won’t allow it. I’ll get feelings and only hurt myself. I’m a fragile fragile person (alien) and the night life is not for me at all. I’ve written many songs aggressively against the subject.

10. I play Pokémon Go and I love it. It’s fun and is a great coping skill for being in the public, for someone who loves nature but hates passing by strangers. I’m proudly on Team Mystic 💙

[postgamecontent]

Sword of Vermilion: SEGA Genesis RPG Spotlight #4

Original Release Date: December 16, 1989

Original Hardware: SEGA Mega Drive

Developer/Publisher: SEGA-AM2/SEGA

There are a lot of interesting things to say about Sword of Vermilion. It was the first home game produced by the legendary Yu Suzuki and his team at SEGA-AM2. It was an RPG, which was decidedly outside of the developer's usual wheelhouse of thrilling arcade experiences. SEGA chose it as one of the handful of games to spotlight in its famous but ultimately unsuccessful "Genesis Does What Nintendon't" campaign. It uses four different viewpoints, which must have been an awful lot of work. In North America, it shipped with a 100+ page hintbook that basically walked you through the game. Some of the important names who worked on the game left SEGA after its release to found Genki, where they largely worked on racing games and only returned to the RPG genre once more with 1998's Jade Cocoon.

Yet for all the fascinating and unusual things happening around the game, Sword of Vermilion isn't anything particularly special. It's neither an amazing game nor a terrible one, the sort of experience that fills the belly but is forgotten by the next meal. It feels like even SEGA forgets about it now and then. The game was re-released on the Nintendo Wii Virtual Console, was part of the PlayStation 2 and PSP SEGA Genesis Collection, and is also available through the nearly-exhaustive Steam SEGA Mega Drive and Genesis Classics, but somehow was left out of Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection on PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360. As first-party Genesis games with no rights issues go, Sword of Vermilion is a relative rarity among SEGA's many re-packagings of their 16-bit output.

As near as I can tell, nobody who worked on Sword of Vermilion had made an RPG before. The team was clearly familiar with the genre, though. I'd venture to say that they obviously knew of such hits as Wizardry, Dragon Quest, Xanadu, and Ys. The trouble is that they apparently couldn't decide which one they wanted to ape, and ended up doing a little bit of all of them. I don't mean that in a chocolate-meets-peanut butter kind of way, either. This isn't like Dragon Quest's smooth fusion of Wizardry's first-person turn-based combat and Ultima's bird's-eye overworld exploration. Instead, it's four dramatically different gameplay styles haphazardly stitched together into a bizarre Frankenstein's monster with little apparent thought or care put into making them consistent with each other.

The game starts with a somewhat lengthy cut-scene that sets up the story. Basically, some bad guys overthrew the good king. Before they arrived, he sent his infant son away with his top knight so that he could grow up safely in secret. Years pass, and the knight is on his deathbed. He summons the boy he raised, now a man, to finally reveal the truth of his origins. This is where you get control for the first time, and the game for all the world looks like a standard JRPG at this point. You can explore the town from an overhead view, talking to people, visiting homes, and going to shops. Once you reach the side of the man you believed was your father, he tells you of your royal lineage and instructs you to gather an assortment of rings that will help you take back your birthright. The first was entrusted to him, and he hid it in a cave many years before. Having told you all of that, he hands you some starting cash and then promptly kicks the bucket.

You might be tempted to just buy some gear and leave the town at this point, but that's not a good idea. Someone in the town will give you a map if you speak to them, and you'll really want to have that in hand before you step out of the town boundaries. As soon as you do head out, you'll run into the next gameplay style: first-person exploration. Both the overworld and the dungeons use this viewpoint, and while it's not quite as smooth as it was in Phantasy Star, it's convincing enough. In this mode, the main viewing area only takes up a portion of the screen. The remaining parts of the screen are dedicated to status windows and a bird's-eye map of the area you're in. If you haven't gotten your hands on a map, you'll only be able to see the square your character is occupying. You can technically map this yourself on paper if you really want to, but the NPCs are pretty good about giving you what you need when you need it.

This isn't too strange so far, though. The first few games from Richard Garriot of Ultima fame basically used a similar combination of overhead and first-person exploration. Even SEGA had already done this, in the Master System classic Phantasy Star. You start heading towards the cave that holds the ring you're looking for and suddenly a slime appears in your view. Time to battle! And also time for our third gameplay style. Yes, the game switches to another screen where you have a sort of angled overhead view of your character and a number of enemies. You have to move your guy around and swing his tiny sword at the monsters to take them out. If they touch you or hit you with an attack, you take some damage. Should you run out of HP, you'll be kicked back to the last church you saved at with half your money gone. You'll often start fights in the middle of a crowd, and the enemies are surprisingly aggressive. Once you get the hang of things it's not so bad, though, and you can always beat a hasty retreat by walking off the edge of the screen.

It takes a little while before you'll encounter the fourth and final gameplay style. After recovering the ring from the cave, the townspeople will direct you to the next town and even give you a map. Upon arriving there, you'll enter into what turns out to be the pattern for the rest of the game. The townspeople have some kind of problem. Maybe it's a wicked king. Maybe they've been transformed by evil magic. Whatever the problem is, you'll be given a map to a nearby cave and directed to retrieve something from it. You'll probably have to spend some time grinding experience and money to power up your character first, and there are some chests scattered around the overworld that give you something to do for at least part of that work. Anyway, you'll go into the cave, do the thing you're supposed to do, and that usually leads to the final gameplay style: a boss battle against a huge creature of some kind.

For these battles, you're playing from a straight-on side view. You can duck, swing your sword, and move forwards and backwards. Carefully hack away at the giant monster in front of you and you'll soon emerge victorious. You'll get one of the rings, the townspeople will hand you another map, and you'll be directed to the next town where you'll repeat the process. Lather, rinse, and repeat for 14 towns and around 20 hours, and you're all done. The number of monsters is quite limited, the game makes heavy use of palette swaps to stretch them out, and just about every location looks the same as the last. There's very little strategy in either of the battle systems, making combat somewhat dull. You'll never have any reason or cause to go backwards, with the result being that this a very linear, repetitive marathon to the finish.  

Given when it was released, Sword of Vermilion looks the part of a next-generation RPG. Everything is quite detailed, and those side-view boss battles are pure spectacle. The music, composed by Yasuhiro "Yas" Takagi, is very good. Each town gets its own theme song, covering a wide range of moods. Yet beyond those surface elements, the game is decidedly 8-bit in its design. As an example, the simple act of emptying a chest sitting in front of you requires you to bring up the menu, choose 'open', read the text box telling you the contents, bring up the menu again, and choose 'take'. Dungeons are pitch-black unless you use a candle or a lantern, and candles only last for a short amount of time. Your inventory is limited to eight items, not including equipment, so you have to make very careful decisions about what healing and utility items you want to bring.

The maps for the dungeons are hidden in the dungeons themselves, so you might need to do some physical mapping until you come across them. You also need to check every direction of each square when you're exploring, as chests and other objects might show up when you face west but not when you face east, for example. You can only save at churches in towns, so if you're playing it as it was designed you need to make sure you have time to see your outings through before embarking. Oh, and don't expect to see the stats of gear found in shops or chests. You'll have to equip them to see their effect, and some of them are cursed. For a game from 1989, none of this is particularly shocking; few games of this era broke ranks when it came to interface decisions. But many soon would, and that made Vermilion feel like something from a by-gone era within a matter of a year or two.

The strange thing is, I kind of enjoy Sword of Vermilion. The game has a really nice rhythm to it, even if it is somewhat mindless. The initial parts of each dungeon where you're operating without a map are pretty fun, and I like the basic structure of having to solve a different problem in each town before moving on. I had fun exploring each of the maps to see if I could turn up any treasure chests or special encounters. The battle systems are easily the worst parts of the game, but they're not offensively bad. At the very least, the normal battle allow you to feel your character's growing strength. The boss battles are stupid but thankfully quite painless in most cases. I'll even give a tip of the hat to the localization. It's a bit clunky in places, but it's largely coherent and correct. That was a big ask in this period.

I've seen some positively savage reviews of this game, and I guess I can understand why a person wouldn't like Sword of Vermilion. It's repetitive, old-fashioned, clunky, and some of its bits really don't work well within the overall game. It also drags on a tad longer than it should. Even though I enjoy the game, I wouldn't have shed any tears if everything wrapped up five or so hours earlier than it did. At the same time, I've played far worse RPGs that weren't nearly as ambitious. Even among the Genesis's library, I don't think I'd put Sword of Vermilion on a top RPG list, but I'm not sure I'd discourage anyone from trying it, either. I will say that if you play through to the second town's boss and aren't really getting into it at all, you're safe to cut your losses and quit. It doesn't dramatically change from there.

Of course, the aftermath is quite clear by now. Vermilion is mostly forgotten, and the few who remember it don't usually speak well of it. Its creators only made one other RPG after it, and the studio that produced it would only dip their toes into the RPG waters (in a very tentative way) a couple more times in the future. Still, for early Genesis adopters who loved RPGs, Sword of Vermilion likely kept them busy between Phantasy Star installments. That's about the best someone could ask for at that time outside of Japan. I'm not sure this was the best choice for SEGA of America's big ad campaign, though.

If you want to try Sword of Vermilion yourself, it's currently available on Steam as part of the SEGA Mega Drive and Genesis Classics, on the Nintendo Wii Virtual Console, and on PSP and PlayStation Vita through the digital version of the SEGA Genesis Collection. You can also track down any of the physical versions; both the original Genesis cartridge and the PlayStation 2/PSP discs for the aforementioned Genesis Collection are relatively cheap even today.

Previous: Landstalker

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[nervouswreck-96]

Getting something off my chest

This is going to sound unbelievably selfish to some people, so bear with me. It involves a certain character I hold dear to my heart.

So far, I’ve been pleasantly surprised with some aspects of Sonic Forces’ story, and unpleasantly surprised by others. The quality of the cutscene animation appears to be worse than the average SFM project, let alone Unleashed/Generations, which is disappointing considering this is supposed to be Sonic’s grand breakthrough into the PS4/XB1 generation. It’s not clear why Classic Sonic is even here if they were going to also include a voiceless, interchangeable Create-a-Character. And “Fist Bump” can go fuck off and die in the wilderness.

Still, the snippets of characterization I’ve seen are, for the most part, a drastic improvement over *dry heave* Lost World. If the Japanese promos are to be believed, Knuckles is no longer cheap comic relief, and will actually have a purpose and a chance to develop his character. They seem to be taking steps to give the other side characters more of a role than in Generations, even though they aren’t playable (which, again, why?! They’re clearly doing something off-screen!), even Silver, who hasn’t really had anything major since Black Knight - if that even counts.

Sonic’s character - not the cutesy faux-classic version, but the modern-day Sonic that Sega seems to forget exists - may be back in form, at least going off the tiny portions of gameplay footage I’ve looked at. The major dynamic between him and the aforementioned interchangeable OC seems to be the focus of the story and his character arc, similar to how other Sonic stories have developed him through his relationships with new characters - Rush with Blaze, SatSR with Shahra, Unleashed with Chip, SatBK with Caliburn and Merlina, etc. Still, it’s too early to tell, and for all I know, maybe he’s still the complete idiot he was in *dry heave* Lost World.

Still, there is one reservation I have before I completely accept this story.

There is still the matter of one Miles “Tails” Prower.

For years, Sonic Team hasn’t really figured out how to handle the character. In fact, most modern adaptations seemed to do a better job than the creators themselves (see: Sonic Boom...the show, not the games).

Here’s the skinny. In Sonic Adventure, his story was special among the six in the game because it served as one long character growth arc that you - as the player - got to experience through his eyes. Seeing the story end with Tails defeating Dr. Eggman all on his own, by both defusing a bomb and fighting off a giant mech in the middle of the city, was the perfect conclusion to an arc that essentially brought him out of Sonic’s shadow. The development of Tails as an independent character continued in Adventure 2, where we see him come to Sonic’s rescue, coordinate a mission to infiltrate Eggman’s island base and another mission later on to sabotage the Eclipse Cannon with a fake Chaos Emerald, and take down Eggman in mech-to-mech combat (for the second time) as a revenge act for Sonic’s apparent death. In SA2, he took on the role of leader for the first time, even before Sonic stepped into a pneumatic tube unsure whether he would see the light of day again.

And then...THWACK! All that development thrown out!

For the next few games, his characterization jumped all over the place. Sometimes he regressed to more childlike behavior (Heroes/Battle - though that may have been the English voice actor fooling me), sometimes he showed no real personality whatsoever (’06, Unleashed), sometimes he had no real purpose other than to serve as an exposition fairy (the Rush games). Others fared better, with the first Riders game giving him a real rival for the first time, as well as a chance for his combined insecurity and determination to shine through.

The best portrayal during this time, in my opinion, came from Shadow the Hedgehog (strangely enough), where he went solo to look for that DAMN FOURTH CHAOS EMERALD (yes, that very same one), and later in the game, to save the president’s airplane from a swarm of Black Arms. As he tagged along with Shadow, he showed off aspects of his character we never saw before, such as his hatred/fear of enclosed spaces and his tendency to geek out when he sees revolutionary new technology.

When Pontac and Graff took over, starting with Sonic Colors, a more snarky and cynical side of Tails began to surface. By now, Tails had grown up, remaining close to Sonic but not exactly worshipping him as much as he used to. Some of Sonic’s snark had rubbed off on him, but not enough to make him seem like a clone of Sonic. In fact, the two bounced off each other quite well in some scenes (although the actual dialogue sometimes left a lot to be desired.) At first, it seemed like natural character development, the next step in the bond between him and Sonic, which hadn’t really been explored in almost a decade.

And then Lost World happened.

Never has there been a more thorough character assassination since a certain Beatle picked the wrong time to leave his apartment in 1980.

You see, even though there were inconsistencies with Tails’ character over the years, there was usually one thing in common. He wasn’t a total dickhead. In fact, he was one of the more quiet and polite characters in the entire series, which helped to balance out Sonic’s looser, more aggressive personality (at least in theory.) Leave it to Lost World to change all that.

There were lots of problems with Lost World’s story. In fact, there are so many I probably haven’t even thought of all of them yet. But Tails’ characterization in that game was the worst offense of all, at least to me, a longtime fan of the franchise and of that character.  When I first watched the cutscenes, I thought it was some sort of Ghostbusters II situation, where the Deadly Six had some sort of substance that turned everyone against each other. Sadly, no.

Watching him mouth off to everyone around him, inexplicably accuse Sonic of trusting Eggman over him (in the middle of a time-sensitive mission, mind you), and come out as the ultimate hero of the story after having learned nothing from the experience...I can’t even begin to describe the frustration. Seeing people try to defend his change of character on the basis of “oh, you’re complaining because he’s not a perfect angel 100% of the time”, only made it worse.

Seeing as how Lost World was the last canon Sonic game up to this point (not counting Mania), this is pretty important. And when I saw this rumor floating around for Forces, my hopes weren’t exactly raised.

It’s hard to discount this rumor, considering it came before the official reveal of the game’s name and features, and yet accurately noted the custom character and the details of the storyline. For me, this is 100% accurate until proven otherwise.

With the revelation of cutscene snippets, it seems that this scenario may sadly be coming true.

Now, maybe there is a chance that they can handle this “giving up” thing in a decent manner. Maybe something happens that demoralizes him in a way that we, as viewers, can understand. However, that’s still a hard sell to me considering all he’s gone through to this point in canon - especially seeing Sonic blown out an airlock in SA2 and then fighting back against Eggman mech-to-mech. Not to mention the Tails over in Sonic Boom, and the classic Tails in Sonic Mania, who actually DO STUFF.

So why did I just waste your time with this long rant?

I care about the stories in Sonic games. I care about what the characters do, feel, and say outside of gameplay, or even inside of it. And that goes for all of the characters. But for Tails, it’s a special case. Along with Sonic himself, he’s my favorite character in the entire franchise, a character I can both identify with and look up to when written properly. Unfortunately, it seems to me that I love Tails more for what he could be rather than what he is. I look for things in his portrayals that add up to a full character, but there is so much inconsistency throughout the games it’s really hard to tell who he is. Sometimes he’s a brave, headstrong fighter on Sonic’s level with added smarts. Sometimes he’s a timid Non-Action Guy who relies mostly on technology and inexplicable knowledge. Sometimes - okay, once - he’s a snarky asshat I want to punch in the face. And other times, he’s barely a character at all.

Give them credit, Sonic Forces has taken great pains to restore the credibility of Sonic stories after the non-story that was Generations, and the catastrophe of Lost World’s story. But one more slip-up with Tails...just one...and it may be a deal-breaker for me, regardless of any other positives.

I know, it’s incredibly selfish of me to say this, considering that there are fans of so many other characters who have been waiting for them to get their chance to shine. Knuckles, Silver, Rouge, the Chaotix...we haven’t seen them at their best for years. For most of them, Sonic Forces is their first big appearance since Generations, if you can even call Generations a big appearance for them in the first place.

But to a certain extent, we haven’t really seen Tails either. In Lost World, we saw his evil twin, who will be hereafter referred to as Miles. Miles’ personality traits are the exact inverse of the proper Tails - snarky, lazy, smug, arrogant, and if these leaks are to be believed, a dirty coward*. No other word for it - coward.

My headcanon is that he somehow replaced Tails for that one game, and Tails hasn’t been seen since. My hope is that Miles is long gone, and Tails emerges just in time for Sonic Forces. But all signs are pointing to no.

* And yes, I know you’re gonna bring up that moment from Unleashed, but there he had a reason to run away. Those weren’t Eggman’s robots, those were Dark Gaia’s minions: monsters he had no knowledge of at that point. Not to mention, it was the middle of the night, and they looked like ghostly figures. He had every right to be freaked out.

[coolgreatwebsite]

Wonder Boy (2010)

Editor’s Note: This article is about a video, if you don’t want to read the whole history I’ve generously written out just for you (yes, you!) at least head to the very bottom and watch it because oh MAN. Also, very special thanks to the Something Awful Retro Game Thread’s Random Stranger for getting this whole nightmare snowball rolling with a lot of the initial info and digging.

I feel like making this post is just asking for the subject matter to disappear, but my desire to share this is too strong. If you’ve looked at this website before, you’ve probably realized I like old video games. I can’t say Wonder Boy has been a series I’ve cared about outside of finally playing and really liking Wonder Boy 3 and Monster World 4 semi-recently, but there’s one thing that’s kept the series in my mind for the past 4 or so years. Actually, I’m getting way ahead of myself here. Any of y’all remember Chakan the Forever Man?

Chakan is a real piece of shit Sega Genesis game that managed to be mildly successful mostly by just kinda being there while the system was hitting full steam in America. It managed to make enough of an impression that it still gets brought up in retro game discussions every so often, mostly in the context of “remember that trash fire?”, but there’s one person in particular who refuses to let the Forever Man die: Chakan’s creator, Robert A. Kraus.

I’m not sure how many people who ended up playing Chakan and never thinking about it again realized this, but it’s actually a licensed game based on a comic book series that started sometime in the 80s! The word is that Ecco the Dolphin creator Ed Annunziata met Kraus (or RAK, as he signs his work) at a comic convention and the two somehow ended up collaborating on a Genesis game from there. The game came out, Annunziata and the rest of the world moved on, but RAK remains dedicated to Chakan. And you know what? More power to him. His aggressively late-90s website’s Chakan section is packed full of attempts to keep the property relevant, from new comics to board games, and as much as I think Chakan is maybe not so great on any level I admire his drive. RAK is not who I’m here to talk about. The true subject of our particular story can be found within the weirdest attempt at making Chakan hit it big, the Chakan the Forever Man movie. Specifically, we're here to talk about its combination Star/Director/Writer/Producer/Editor. Enter Robin Morningstar.

There’s not really a clean “origin story” for Morningstar that I can find online, but the scarce info that is available pretty much tells you everything you need to know. His IMDB page attaches him to six movies, of which he is Actor/Writer/Producer/Editor/Director on five. His sole interview about the project paints a vivid picture of an undeservedly egotistical independent filmmaker, especially when combined with this deleted comment (fortunately preserved by Something Awful poster wa27). The only surviving image of the Chakan movie (above) looks like something my friends would have made in high school. All of this is funny, but admittedly not TOO crazy outside of the fact that someone decided to make a bad movie that can be sorta tied back to an obscure-ish Genesis game. But if you take a closer look at that IMDB page, that’s where things start to get interesting. The first film Robin Morningstar is attached to is... Wonder Boy? And his biography page (almost assuredly written by the man himself) says he worked on it with... Uwe Boll?!

I’m being a little anachronistic by putting in a picture that was only available after the fact, but the trailer was the first thing that was found and it doesn’t seem to be online anymore so it’s a stand-in for that. Anyway. Digging deeper initially raises more questions. If Boll was involved, why didn’t he get a director credit? The movie appears to be entirely computer generated and at a level of quality that almost seems like an actual joke, so how did he even factor into it at all? As usual, information is scarce but just enough is there to piece things together. First, and most importantly, a defunct print-to-order Amazon listing confirms that this does exist and isn’t some weird fever dream. The entry on Morningstar’s bio mentions the film was “jinxed”, and the film’s trivia section references a news story in Retro Gamer Magazine issue 51. A quick google search reveals the “news story” was actually an (EXTREMELY buckwild) interview with Morningstar from about two years before the film’s release that goes into how Morningstar and Boll were having trouble getting the Wonder Boy rights from Sega and Westone. Wonder Boy’s IMDB FAQ gives the final word, saying that Boll left the project after failing to secure the rights, leaving Morningstar to take the helm and release an unauthorized CGI version two years later that was still about Wonder Boy and also named Wonder Boy.

With that mystery solved and nothing beyond the trailer to be found, the Wonder Boy movie seemed doomed to the obscurity of a funny sequence of forum posts and the occasional outside person seeing the IMDB entry and going “wait, they made a Wonder Boy movie?” However, the sequence of discovering all of this formed a sort of unbreakable link between Chakan and the Wonder Boy movie in my mind. If I ever saw Chakan get brought up for some reason, I kind of HAD to say “oh hey, did you know the Chakan guy still makes Chakan and some weirdo made a Chakan movie and also a hellishly awful looking CGI Wonder Boy movie?” That would always be the first thing I’d think of.

Flash forward to today, where Chakan was mentioned in a Discord server I’m in. I did the usual “haha oh boy get a load of this” routine, only this time I couldn’t find the trailer. What I found instead was a “review” of the movie on YouTube, uploaded 10 months ago. It’s one of the most 1000% unfunny things I’ve ever seen so I’m not going to even link it, it splices in some footage of some Spanish show and fake subtitles over them and it’s just really not worth even glancing at. But I noticed it was using footage that wasn’t from the trailer. Then I saw it. At the bottom of the description, under the “show more” button, was a link to another YouTube video. An unlisted YouTube video on a different account, uploaded in 2015. It was lying hidden for two years. I’m so happy to finally say this.

Please enjoy the entirety of the 2010 feature length motion picture Wonder Boy.

[cutegirlmayra]

sonamy boom prompt? XD

I wrote this in an actual Abode Script Program but I can’t submit it without it looking weird XP So sorry! But this is the best I can do :)

I AIN’T PLAYIN’.

So please know! I wrote this as an ACTUAL SCRIPT just for you, precious Anon ;)b

(Now on fanfiction! (x) Also DA and Wattpad. :) )

Sonic Boom Fan Script

Doubt Your Doubtbot

Written By

Micaela

A.K.A Cutegirlmayra

Based on, if any

SEGA’S Sonic Boom

INT. Amy Rose’s House - DAy

Sonic lounges on Amy’s couch, reading a Tommy Thunder comic, as Amy looks around her refrigerator, frustrated.

Sonic hears the disgruntled agitations from the kitchen and looks over to her.

Sonic

What’s wrong, Ames?

Amy

(shakes hands in frustration) Augh.

Amy turns to Sonic.

Amy

You know that Chef’s United March we had last weekend?

Sonic

You mean that weird parade with people wearing aprons and marching to- we won’t, we won’t, cook for you? Even though you basically ended Island hunger in one evening?

Sonic places the comic down, now giving full attention to the conversation, but seeming to speak as if not seeing any significance in the matter.

AmY

Exactly. As cooks, we shouldn’t have to make anything just cause ‘we can’. Unless we offer our services, No one should demanding anything from us.

Sonic

Way to go, Amy. Fighting the good fight. Doing what really matters for society.

He rolls his eyes.

Sonic

So what’s the problem?

Amy

(defeated sigh) With all the cooking everyone did, there’s just too many leftovers for me to eat alone.

Sonic

(Perks up) Leftovers?

Amy slouches over a little, before Sonic dashes up to her, trying to play it cool.

Sonic

Well, let’s see what you got here.

He ducks his head into the refrigerator.

Sonic

Ohh~ Apple pie, biscuits, watermelon,-(gasps) Spaghetti with meatballs!

Amy shakes her head, a little condescendingly as his butt moves with his tail at each items he lists before he finally leans up.

Sonic

Well, Amy. This is your lucky day! Do I have a deal for you! Let me handle this and all your worries will just fade away. No charge for me and my stomach’s services~

AmY

Why are you talking like a sales pitch?

Sonic wraps an arm around her and points a jabbed finger her way.

Sonic

(Still in character) Why are you avoiding the solution of your life? Order now and I may include a free shipping and handling.

He winks, just being funny.

Amy

I’ll sign. You know, we could have a picnic with all the food I accumulated.

Sonic

Sounds like a plan to me! You know, I think this could be the start… Of a beautiful friendship.

Sonic moves away, gesturing to his stomach and then Amy.

Sonic

Regarding my stomach and you’re excessive cooking habits, that is.

Amy

Hey! These habits are about to fill your stomach!

Sonic

And me and my client would like to thank you on behalf of that. When do we meet?

Hovering in the corner, buzzing undetected, Eggman’s spybot watches the scene from his red eye-sockets.

The scene suddenly turns red as Eggman is staring at a screen, glaring at the two.

Int. Eggman’s HQ - day

Eggman, accompanied by an observing Orbot and Cubot, suddenly bashes his hand to the control panel of his monitor screens.

Eggman

Blast it all! Why is it always a picnic!? Doesn’t he know we’ve already made reservations? We were suppose to fight today!

Ext. Island landscape

Sonic and Eggman, in close combat, hold one arm out to push the other back while their free hands continually punch to try and get a hit on the other.

They continue their humorous battle with grunts and strains.

Int. Eggman’s hq

Eggman laughs lightly and smiles at the recollection of how he wanted the day to go.

Eggman

(Daydreaming) Hahaha, Hehehe.

Orbot

A picnic does sound like it may distract Sonic from his previous arrangements with Eggman.

Cubot

Yeah, if he starts spending more time with Amy, why… we might be left in the dust!

Orbot

Don’t say such things, Cubot. You’ll upset Doctor Eggman.

Eggman suddenly comes back from his daydreams. He lifts a side of his mustache to indicate he’s been listening, much like a rabbit’s ear. He rises from the chair.

Eggman

Grr.. Unacceptable! I mean, why even bother with a picnic? I’ve ruined those outings a thousand times already! Not like it’s creative or anything.

Eggman clicks and moves some virtual controls on his control panel as the monitor shows a montage of Sonic team having picnics. One shows Tails, Sticks, and Amy, before beebots swarm in and they frantically race away. Another is with Sonic, Knuckles, and Perci, who a robot with water guns jumps out from behind to hose them down as they race off. After the hoses on it’s arms turn off, there’s a brief second before Sonic and Knuckles come back to attack the robot. it fals over as it’s feet kick wildly up.

Eggman

I need to find something that will tear these little- get togethers- apart! And for good this time!

Orbot

But how can you break such wonderfully strong team bonds?

Eggman

I don’t need to break all of them. Just one. Hmm… But what can bring insecurity and distrust to a confident, borderline egotistical preteen?

Orbot

Is that even something that needs to be asked?

Cubot

I doubt it could work.

Eggman

That’s it!

Int. Eggman’s lab - day

Eggman leans against a counter, as his new creation turns on at last, and looks around the room. It resembles a cool looking robotic, blocky cyborg with screens that look like shutter glasses; except that instead of plastic lines or slits, there’s a thin layer of green light that slowly moves across the screens at just barely different lengths and times. Keeping the cool/trendy stripe pattern going.

Eggman

Meet my lastest creation! Doubtbot! If you had worries you weren’t fitting into the ‘social norm’ of society, then Doubtbot will surely bring that to light!

He uses the bunny ears as he speaks of ‘social norms’ and Doubtbot looks strangely up at him, shaking his head.

Doubtbot

Man, did you just bunny ears that one? You really dated yourself there, dude.

Orbot

(looks to Cubot) Fascinating! It can recognize and scan for signs of acceptance and completely break them apart!

Eggman frowns, his mustache going down a bit too.

Doubtbot

(turns to Orbot) Oh, do you state the obvious to feel needed or something? Kinda getting some desperate vibes there. Are you sure that’s the only function Eggman gave you to not look obsolete with your slap-stick, comedy duo partner over there?

Orbot flings a hand up to where his chest should be, as Cubot flinches back.

Orbot

(Angrily) Oh! The nerve!

Cubot

Wow! He even got me doubting whether I’m the comedy duo partner or not!

Eggman

(laughs and points a mocking finger towards Orbot) That’s exactly what it looks like! Now, to unleash this monstrosity on Sonic! Once he thinks this little, innocent, get together could be something ‘uncool’-ah… Oh.

He did the bunny ears, but looks to Doubtbot’s judging head tilt up at him, and immediately drops them.

Eggman

Ehem, it’ll turn the events so awkward, that the chain reaction will cause total drama across the whole team! Hahah!

Doubtbot

Wow, trying to split up the team. It’s almost like you’re doing the same idea in just a bunch of different ways and calling it unique. But I mean, at least you get paid right? Ooh… I guess you just do it for the fun of it, huh?

Eggman turns aggressively to Doubtbot, as Orbot and Cubot immediately fly up to hold him back as he tries to advance, growling his frustrations.

Ext. hedgehog village - day

Sonic’s just minding his own business as he passes Meh-Burger. Doubtbot, seeing him off to the side of the fence, puts down a drink he was momentarily pretending to drink, and grabs Sonic’s attention.

Doubtbot

H-hey, now. You that cool hero guy from the news, yeah?

Sonic

Huh? Oh yeah. That’s me. Sonic The Hedgehog.

Strikes a pose, waving.

Doubtbot

Right… Right… Well, you were cool.

Sonic

(sees a double meaning in that.) W-wait, were?

Sonic flinches down his waving hand.

Doubtbot

Hero, huh? Heh. Where you headin’ too? For the fastest thing in the world, you sure like to mosey about a lot.

Sonic folds arms, glaring defensively.

Sonic

(growling, slightly offended)I’m going to eat with my teammate.

Doubtbot

Who that?

Sonic

Amy. You probably-

Doubtbot

Never heard of her.

Doubtbot goes to take a fake sip, as Sonic shoves his fists down by his sides, growing more angry.

Doubtbot

She must be right for you, though. I guess? I mean… I thought you would go for more than just a ‘cute girl’ but I suppose this is all you’ve got, so… Making do, huh?

Sonic

She’s just a friend!

Doubtbot

Oh? But then… Why are you hanging out? All alone..?

Sonic

A-a-alone? That doesn’t make it any different!

Doubtbot

Let me ask you something.

He leans up and gestures with a relaxed finger for Sonic to come closer, pretending to look out for him.

Doubtbot

If it’s planned, private, and food’s involved? You know it’s got cooties written all over it.

Sonic

(leans back and waves hands out, shaking head) Cooties? Oh no, no, no. That’s been scientifically disproven years ago.

Ext. Eggman’s HQ - day

Eggman leans fully back in his chair, completely in shock.

Eggman

WHAT!?

He turns to Orbot.

Eggman

Orbot, get on that!

He turns back to the monitor as Orbot turns away and sighs.

Orbot

(grumbling) Of course, Doctor… Because that’s the only lousy work I get to do around here… Isn’t it?

Ext. Hedgehog village - day

Sonic leans away, clearly disliking this new guy’s demeanor and talk. Doubtbot gets up, pretending to be looking after Sonic’s best interest.

Doubtbot

Hey, that’s cool. It chill. I’m just saying… A boy, a girl, a picnic? Eh. Who am I to judge.

Sonic

(starting to feel suspicious of Amy) That shouldn’t matter…

Doubtbot

(Gives him a questioning look) Does it?

Sonic

B-besides, it’s Amy! She wouldn’t-..

Doubtbot

Would she?

Sonic turns away from Doubtbot, looking at the ground as if unsure now.

Doubtbot smirks, his glasses flinging the striped lights more prominently. He waves behind him and starts to take off.

Doubtbot

Close proximity, man… Just trying to warn ya.

Sonic looks over his shoulder, before walking on with a concerned expression.

Ext. island landscape - Canyon - day

Sonic, walking along the path to where he knows Amy probably set up the picnic, is talking to himself out loud, trying to feel reassured about the ‘event’.

Sonic

Come on, Sonic. Don’t let this get to you like that. I mean, pfft, this is Amy we’re talking about here! I’m sure it’s fine.

Amy (O.S.)

Sonic!

Sonic flinches his head up as he sees Amy waving in the distance, she giggles as she puts the hand down, and reveals some food around her. Her hair flips suddenly at a rush of wind and she adjusts it in slow motion, before holding up a piece of food to him.

Sonic stares and then shakes his head.

Sonic

It’s just a picnic!!!

Humming is heard as spybot is revealed just a little ways away, and a few of Eggman’s robots crept silently above the two, who are stationed at the bottom of the canyon below.

Int. Eggman’s Hq - day

Eggman snickers as he rubs his hands together.

Eggman

Heh-heh-heh… Show time!

Cubot

I thought the show already started?

Orbot

(Sighs and turns to him, shaking head) I refuse to comment on your comedy shtick and openly admit I’m apart of it.

Cubot

Isn’t that commenting, though?

Orbot sighs deeper, as if having given up already.

Ext. Island landscape - day

Sonic approaches nervously, rubbing the back of his head before sitting down.

Eggman, now on top of the canyon, peers down.

Eggman

Too easy… They’re like two cockroaches sitting pleasantly before being squashed!

Amy moves a hand to the basket, but Sonic was going for some food.

Their hands touch and they quickly withdraw them, awkwardly looking away and chuckling nervously as Sonic rubs his arm and Amy holds her hands together; awkward.

Amy

Anyway, I hope you don’t mind. I may have brought extra-

Sonic

Amy, this is important.

Amy

H-huh?

Sonic turns to face her, looking directly into her eyes; pretty serious as Amy is startled and a bit taken aback by his fierce stare.

Sonic

This isn’t what it looks like.. is it?

Amy

Um…

She looks around, still a little flinched back before slowly turning to him, raising an eyebrow.

Amy

A picnic..?

Sonic

No! Not the picnic!

Sonic shakes his head, as Amy continues to stare, worried.

Amy

(Sarcastically) Well, it’s not a spa day.

He ducks his head, still scratching the back of it.

Sonic

Ames.. this-…This isn’t a..

Eggman’s reels back his arm, about to say his infamous line when-

Tails (o.s)

Amy! Sonic!

The two turn as Eggman swipes his hand out but covers his mouth. Shooing the robots quietly now that someone interupted him and he didn’t want to be spotted.

Amy

Oh! Guys! You made it!

Sonic looks surprised to see Tails, Knuckles, and Sticks carrying food in their arms as Amy comes over to help.

Amy

Did you get everything?

Tails

Uh-huh. Even the chocolate pudding!

He holds it up, as Sticks moves the giant pillar of food she’s balancing in her arms to say something off to the side, looking a little annoyed.

Sticks

Lighter than the meatloaf, at least… Well, we did lighten the load a bit on the way here.

Knuckles was eating the baskets in his hands. Food stuffed in his cheeks.

She smirked before turning to the picnic, putting the stuff down. Stretching.

Sticks

(relief) Ah, at least here, I can see if any government spies are watching in the clearings. No way to hide now…

She swipes out binoculars as they focus in on the tops of the canyon’s walls, seeing a swarm of robots stampeding down it.

Sticks (o.s)

Woah! Picnic crashers at two o'clock!

She removes the binoculars.

Sticks

Can’t have a decent meal without vermin sneaking in on ya like hyenas… Worse when it’s propaganda in the form of cartoons!

Amy

Sticks!

Amy struggles to get her hammer back from a bugbot. Sonic spin dashes into it, then looks to Amy.

Sonic

It was a group thing!? Why didn’t you tell me? Amy, I..

Amy

I have no idea why you’re acting- HA. The way you are but- GRUFF! You don’t have to apologize for anything. Grr.. HA!

They fight the robots and smile to one another; him seeing she didn’t get it anyway.

Eggman, standing up top, grips his hands up to his head, leaning back in defeat with Doubtbot by his side.

Eggman

NOOO!! I was so close!

Doubtbot

But.. were you though?

Eggman

(angrily) AHH!!!

He jumps down and elbows a wrestler’s move into Doubtbot.

Eggman

Take that, and that! I’m the only one that criticize myself, you got that!?

He gets Doubtbot in a choke hold, causing his lights to flicker out.

The team continue to fight before Tails sees one of them going for the baskets of food.

Tails

Oh no! The baskets!

He strains against the robot he’s fighting, which has a firm bite on his wrench, but Knuckles pushes a robot away, having it explode before running to the picnic scene.

Knuckles

I got it!

He punches his fist together, before looking like he was reeling his fist back to hit the robot. Instead, he swipes the basket up and scarf the contents down as the robot stares with blinks.

He continues to chug and then swallows.

Knuckles

Emm~ Vanilla strawberry shortcake!

He then punches the robot off.

Eggman

You win your little picnic this time, Sonic… But I’ll be back! To spoil every other little date you plan. Every last one of them!

Flies off.

Sonic

(twitches) D-da-da-date!?

Sticks

(looks to him) What? Would it be so bad?

Amy nervously laughs but Sonic just blinks and looks away, both trying to awkwardly dodge a bullet before Knuckles burps to the side.

They turn as he pats his stomach, having a bunch of empty baskets around him.

Knuckles

You know what they say! Doubt your doubts before you doubt the bloated echidna with empty baskets once full of leftovers around him.. haha…

END.

[entergamingxp]

Here’s a first look at Total War: Elysium gameplay • Eurogamer.net

Sega has released gameplay of Total War: Elysium, its free-to-download collectible card game spin-off.

We first heard about Elysium back in August 2019 when Creative Assembly announced it as launching in China first.

Today, Sega has announced a western release on mobiles first, then PC later this year. Here’s the official blurb:

“Set in Elysium; City of Legends, Elysium features a huge array of history’s pre-eminent generals, each with a unique playstyle such as the ranged tactics of Napoleon, the control-minded methods of Cao Cao, and the aggressive nature of Lagertha. Joining them in the fray of battle is an armada of historically inspired battle cards from throughout the ages, like the ferocious Jian Sword Guard, devastating Mangonels, supreme Trireme warships and much more.

“The exciting gameplay board gives countless options for the general in all of us, with dynamic battleline mechanics, midgame deck editing, and the new Daybreak mechanic bringing the feeling of the battlefield to the CCG Board. Featuring both single player and multiplayer modes, Elysium will plunge CCG veterans and beginners alike into a battle for the ages!”

There’s a sign-up page if you’re interested in giving Elysium a shot.

from EnterGamingXP https://entergamingxp.com/2020/05/heres-a-first-look-at-total-war-elysium-gameplay-%e2%80%a2-eurogamer-net/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=heres-a-first-look-at-total-war-elysium-gameplay-%25e2%2580%25a2-eurogamer-net