#it feels kind of pointless to be able to work on things finally and like. have the energy to do things more often

[skrunksthatwunk]

why the fuck did i write about birds this fucking sucks. i just found out birds only sleep for a few minutes at a time, hundreds of times a day. do you know what this is going to do to my structure? the logistics of their road trip? this is already like three days late and i've been fighting for my life to get A Plot Like Any Plot That Makes Sense out and now the birds fucking sleep for 5 minutes at a time.

[cetoddle-archive]

i'm confused because i feel like since my med adjustments my anxiety has gotten better and i can focus better which is fine but i don't see the point in that when i still want to fucking kill myself literally all the time always

[gurugirl]

3. The Unicorn | nanny!yn

Unicorn: An individual who is willing to join an existing romantic relationship. Usually a bisexual female.

Summary: The aftermath of that fateful night has lots of consequences. Not all of them are bad.

A/N: This is the final part! Based on this and this.

Word Count: 11.7k

Warning: 18+ only, smut, angst, mentions of divorce

The Unicorn Masterlist

You had to admit. The ensuite bathroom was really nice. But you couldn’t imagine enjoying the soaker tub with jets and soft fluffy towels as you stared at yourself in the mirror. You took off your little pearl choker as tears continued to fall down your cheeks and you removed your sweater and skirt. It all felt so pointless. You had wasted so much time fretting over your outfit and matching it to your pearl choker and your pretty panties all for everything to just blow up completely. Now your favorite pink pearl choker was tainted and you’d probably never want to wear it again.

You should have said no to the proposition. You knew you should have listened to your gut. It was going to blow up and someone was going to get hurt.

Your night shorts and matching top were soft on your skin but you hated it because you’d also chosen this set with the thought that both Kit and Harry might see it. But you’d be sure they never did.

Setting your alarm for 5:00 am you climbed into the luxurious bed and rolled to your side hoping you could get some sleep so you could turn your brain off as you replayed every moment in your head over and over again.

.           .           .          

“I don’t want to talk about it right now, Harry,” Kit insisted.

“She can’t hear us in here, love. Come on. Let’s work something out. Things didn’t go like we thought… right? We don’t need to do it again.”

“I just… I need some space, H. That was a lot. I guess I didn’t expect it to feel that way. I can’t talk about it right now, though. I need to sleep on it. Away from you. I know I’ll feel better in the morning.”

Harry nodded and grabbed his wife’s hand, “I love you, Kitty. You know that right? I love you so much. You are the most important person to me in the world.”

Kit attempted a weak smile as she pulled her hand away and tucked herself into the blankets, “Can you turn the light off when you leave the room?”

.           .           .

Harry had been unable to sleep at all. The couch wasn’t a great spot to sleep but more than that, he was feeling guilty and trying to figure out how to fix the problem. He didn’t want you to feel bad, you hadn’t done anything wrong. But he did need to support his wife first and foremost. He’d need to insist she apologize and put it behind her but he didn’t want his wife to feel like he was taking your side either. Even though, in a way, he kind of was. You were the innocent party in all this. He’d gotten carried away. You both just clicked. The chemistry between you was impenetrable. So much so that he nearly forgot about his wife being there and said some things he didn’t really mean.

When he heard light footfalls coming down the stairs and then saw the outline of your frame as you rushed toward the door he shot up from the couch and hurried toward you, “Y/n?”

You closed your eyes and stopped in your tracks. You hoped he was asleep and that you could leave without him knowing.

He put his hands on your shoulders as he stood behind you and spoke quietly, “Are you okay to drive?” He knew he wasn’t going to be able to talk you into staying. Though in his mind, the best-case scenario was that the three of you could sit and talk and move on from the disaster of what had happened the night before. Maybe over coffee and waffles. He knew that was unlikely but he had hoped.

“I’m fine now. I just want to get out of here. I feel awful,” you turned yourself to look up at him in the dark.

“You don’t need to feel bad, honey. You didn’t do anything wrong. I need you to understand that.”

“I just need to go. You’ve been so nice to me. Thank you, Harry. For everything. Tell Kit how awful I feel and that I’m so sorry and never meant to hurt her.”

Harry frowned, “Don’t worry. Kit will feel better when she wakes up. I’ll talk to her. But you don’t owe anyone an apology.”

He put his arms around you and held you against his chest in a sweet hug. You could feel the thud of his heart under his pecs and inhaled his scent. You’d miss him. You’d miss Kit too. You’d especially miss William and Warner.

.           .           .

When you didn’t show up on Monday morning at the Styles’ house both Kit and Harry knew what was going on.

Kit had planned on apologizing to you for her behavior in person. She’d even planned to go to work a bit late that morning so all three of you could try and work it out. She was still feeling a bit betrayed by Harry and having a hard time unseeing and hearing what she had, but she knew her conduct had been out of line. She was acting on pure emotion and the wine exasperated her reaction. But that was no excuse.

“I can work from home today,” Harry said.

Kit shook her head, “I feel awful. I hurt her feelings. I was such a bitch to her and she didn’t deserve it. Maybe I should text her. Or go to her apartment and apologize to her face-to-face? What do you think? The least I can do is apologize for how I treated her.”

Harry pursed his lips, “Let me text her. See if she’ll come over later when you get home. I’ll tell her we’d like to talk and that you want to apologize.”

Sighing, Kit closed her eyes, “Don’t text her. I will. This is something I need to fix.”

He decided he’d let his wife figure out how she needed to approach the issue but he was worried it was too late. He was worried he’d never see you again and that would be it. You were totally justified in ghosting them both. Plus the semester would be starting up again for you in a couple of weeks and the boys would be back in school during the day so it felt futile to beg for you to come back.

And that’s exactly what you thought too. You were about to head into the new fall semester to start on your master’s degree and the boys were going back to school. You had hoped you’d still be able to watch the twins when Harry and Kit wanted a weekend away or a night off for a few extra bucks during the school year but there was absolutely no way you’d be able to face either Kit or Harry again.

You were sure Kit hated you with every fiber of her being. Which kind of made you angry the more you sat with what had happened. As sad as you were and as bad as you felt, you knew Harry was right. Nothing that happened was actually your fault.

Distracting yourself from what had happened Saturday night had been difficult because it was all so fresh. You knew with some time you’d get over it and move on but you were sure there would be some damage there. Netflix, long walks, lots of sleep, and pints of ice cream seemed to help a little.

But still, the moment that you couldn’t erase from your memory was when you were on their bed as Harry had just finished himself on your back and Kit yelled at him to make you leave all while you were still naked and floaty. Humiliating. But more than that, you started to realize, that what Kit did was uncalled for and mean. She had been mean to you and that made you angry.

So you were surprised when you saw a text from her on Monday afternoon. With an apology.

I hope you’re doing okay. I just wanted to reach out and tell you how sorry I am for how I acted Saturday night. I had hoped to talk to you this morning about it so I could do this in person, and I would still like to apologize to you in person if you’d let me. I understand if you’re not comfortable with it but if you are, I’ll be at Davanti’s on Fresno Street at 3:30 pm. I’ll be alone and plan to stay for an hour.

It was 2 pm. You needed to decide if you wanted to hear her out or just move on. Could you look at her again? Would you simply break down and cry the moment you saw her? Maybe it would be better if you requested Harry to be there? Or perhaps you should just ignore her and be done with it.

But you figured opting for closure would be better in the end. For you and probably for Kit as well.

I’ll be there.

You found a spot to park on the street a few blocks away so you could get some fresh air and stretch your legs before going inside. And also just in case you suddenly decided you didn’t want to go through with it, you could turn around and leave without having Kit seeing you.

But you didn’t change your mind and when you walked into the restaurant you saw Kit sitting at a booth looking down at her phone with a glass of wine in front of her.

You slid in across from her and she startled slightly before placing her phone face down, “Y/n! You came. Thank you.” She smiled. She looked hopeful and sweet.

Nodding you smiled back, “Of course.”

Kit looked at your hands and then out into the restaurant before back to you, “Would you like anything to drink or eat? It’s on me if you want–“

“No. That’s fine. I’ll just have a water when the server comes by. Not really hungry.”

She sat for a moment and blinked her eyes as she looked at you softly, “I am so sorry, Y/n. I know me just saying that can’t erase what I did. I wasn’t prepared to see him like that with anyone and I took it out on you. I’ll never forgive myself for the way I acted.”

You nodded and looked down at the table. You figured she would eventually forgive herself. Because that’s why she was there wanting to apologize to you in person. She wanted to feel better about what had happened and this was her way of doing that. So, while she would forgive herself eventually, despite saying she wouldn’t, you would never forget what happened to you that night. How she treated you, demeaned you. How it made you feel disgusted with yourself and Harry and her all at once. The horror you felt when the worst possible outcome happened.

“Can you ever forgive me?” She finally said which made you look up at her.

“I don’t think I’ll ever forget it. I’m not really sure how I even feel right now about it. I still need time to negotiate all of this in my head first.”

Kit spread her fingers out on the table and looked down at her hand, “I understand that. I don’t deserve to be forgiven,” she sighed and looked back at you, “I wanted to try something new with Harry. I’ve been so… just trying to figure out how to make myself feel that thing I used to feel for him, ya know?” She laughed and shook her head, “He’s just so… male. I mean he’s sweet and gentle and attractive but in bed, he wants something I can’t give him, and vice versa. And now that the twins are older we get more privacy and can get back into being a little more explorative, and it’s made me really miss how things were when I was single and dating women. I know that sounds awful,” she bit the inside of her cheek, “But I’ve just been reaching for something that I’m never going to be able to have with Harry alone. But turns out,” she laughed, “funnily enough, that I don’t like him with anyone else or feeling that passion with someone else that I wanted to feel. I wanted to feel that with you. But that’s selfish of me. I’m all messed up right now,” she stitched her brows together and you could see how glassy her eyes were, “I’m sorry to dump that on you. That’s not fair to you.”

You nodded. You didn’t know what to say in response. She shouldn’t have told you any of that. That was true. And now you just felt bad for Harry that his wife was seeking something to fill in where she thought he lacked. But all you could think was that he was everything anyone would ever want and yet Kit didn’t even see that somehow.

“I wanted to also give you this. From the boys.” She handed you a small homemade booklet with drawings on it from both William and Warren. You flipped through the pages of marker and pen, drawings and stories written to go with each drawing.

You looked up at Kit with appreciation, “Thank you for this. Tell them I love it. I’ll read it every day.” You hadn’t wanted to cry. Hadn’t wanted to show Kit how sensitive and soft you were. She’d already watched you cry that night and now here you were with tears in your eyes again that you simply could not hold back.

“If you ever want to stop by and say hi to them you could. Or even just send me or Harry a text to tell them hi. They love you so much, Y/n. You’re so good with them. And I wanted to…” she paused as she looked at you with a sudden weight that hadn’t been there just before, “If anything ever, um…” she wavered her gaze from your face to the area behind your head and back, “Never mind. Just know how much both Harry and I trust you and would love for you to still come around to see them if you ever wanted.”

.           .           .

When you returned to university things started to feel better. You still got caught with feelings of dread and were reminded of the way you felt that night. Of course, Kit had apologized and that was really all you could ask for after it had all been said and done. But it didn’t stop you from zoning out in the shower with thoughts of putting your pink pearl choker on before you went to their home that night. The giddiness you felt beforehand that was torn away from you so viciously only hours later. Now you couldn’t even look at the necklace. It was tucked away in its soft velvet bag in your panties drawer.

And you couldn’t stop thinking of Harry either. You missed him a lot too. But that feeling was mixed with a confusing heartsickness. It wasn’t that you were in love with him or anything. But you had crushed on him for a while and got to experience him in bed and that was. You couldn’t describe it because you tried not to think about it too much. The more you dwelled on the way he handled you and looked at you, the way he spoke to you… it gave you shivers and the unfortunate thing was that you’d never have the pleasure to know that again.

But again, you weren’t in love or anything close to it. It was just a sense of loss more than anything. 

After your first month back at school was down you were invited out to a local bar with some of your classmates and friends. Something fun for everyone to let loose a little. And god did you deserve to blow off a little steam.

You would have preferred a club with some awful dancing and too much liquor, to be honest, but darts in a dark bar with pitchers of beer and friends sounded quite nice too.

Jax bought the first pitcher as the rest of you claimed a nice table close to the dart boards at the back of the bar. It was a Friday night so the place got packed not long after you’d arrived.

You lost badly at the first game which meant the next pitcher of beer was on you. You frowned exaggeratedly at the rule that the loser buys the beer, but the truth was that you were feeling amazing. It was nice to not be sitting at home thinking about things that you shouldn’t be. The distraction was welcome. Being out with friends was refreshing.

Waving at the bartender you placed the empty pitcher down and dug into your front pocket for some cash to pay your turn. But a sudden feeling came over you. Like you were being watched. Or noticed at least. You casually looked to your right and then to your left but you saw no one looking at you. And no one looked familiar.

“Another pitcher of beer?” The bartender asked, bringing your attention back to him.

“Oh! Yes, please.”

With that strange feeling crawling its way up your spine you turned slowly and looked back at your friends and then across the bar to the table next to the window.

You jolted and felt your scalp prick and fingertips sizzle when you made eye contact with him. Harry. He was seated at a high-top table. He appeared to be alone.

He lifted a hand in greeting before bringing it back down to grasp his pint and looked out the window.

You hadn’t even become unfrozen from the shock of seeing him by the time the bartender was back with your pitcher. You settled up with him and looked to where Harry was seated. He didn’t look back at you. You wondered how long he’d been there. Had he seen you before you walked up to the bar?

“Hey, here’s the pitcher,” you placed it at the center of the table. “I’m gonna sit this game out. Someone I know is here and I’m gonna go say hi.”

After refilling your glass you hesitantly made your way to Harry. The least you could do was say hi. You had wondered about him all this time and had been tempted to text him a time or two but never felt it was right.

“Hi.” You stood next to his table, at a safe distance in case he wasn’t interested in talking.

He pulled his gaze away from whatever he was looking at outside to you, “Hi, Y/n.”

“I was, uh, surprised to see you. I don’t want to bother you. I just–“

“Sit if you want,” he gestured at the other stool. So obviously you did, placing your glass on the table and keeping your eyes on him.

Harry took a sip of his beer and his eyes were as deep and full of warmth as ever.

“How have you been?” You asked. You didn’t really know what to say to him. Which was silly when you thought about it.

“Things are complicated at home. But I’m okay. How are you?”

You shrugged as you took a drink from your glass, “Good. School’s been good. Here for a night without worrying about homework and quizzes. Just needed a night out with some friends.”

He nodded and leaned forward, resting his forearms onto the lacquered wooden tabletop, caging in his beer, “I’ve wanted to text you to see how you were doing but figured you wouldn’t want to hear from me again after what happened.”

You pinched your brows together and shook your head, “That’s not… I wish you would have. I wanted to text you a few times too. Just to check-in. I’ve missed you guys.”

“The boys really miss you. They talk about you still. I mean…” he rotated his arm so his palm was face up in a passive gesture, “it hasn’t been that long since– well, anyway.”

You smiled, “I miss them a lot. Hey, did Warner ever finish learning that song on the piano you were teaching him? He was doing so well learning the parts. I kind of hoped to hear him complete it but then…” you didn’t dare finish that sentence.

Harry grinned. It was the first genuine smile you’d seen from him since you approached him.

“Yeah. He’s pretty much got it down now. I’m really proud of him. He’s gonna be starting guitar and singing lessons soon. He wants to learn so he can start a band with some friends so I encouraged him to take lessons.”

“Takes after his father. Musically talented.” You gleamed at Harry.

Harry gulped the lump down his throat. He had really missed you around. But he’d been quite caught up in the aftermath of that night with Kit ever since. That night had changed everything.

“Ahh, I just dabble. Warner has real natural talent.”

You couldn’t be sure but you thought the apples of his cheeks were turning a shade pinker than they had been.

“I’ve heard you play the piano and sing. I’d say you have plenty of natural talent, Harry.”

You meant it too. He had a beautiful voice full of dark timbre and vibrant airy notes. And of course, he was so confident when he sang that if he had told you he made an album and played for audiences in sold-out venues you would have believed it.

“That’s nice to hear. Thank you, Y/n,” you watched a dimple slowly work its way deeper into his cheek as his smile widened. It was nice to see him smile.

You both sat quietly for a bit looking out the window at the dark street as cars drove by,  headlamps beaming over the dark asphalt. You wondered if you should press him more about how he really was. You could tell something was off. He wasn’t as happy as he normally was. And when he told you things were complicated at home you figured it had something to do with Kit.

“We’re getting divorced,” he said defeatedly as he stared out the window.

“What? Why?”

Harry took a deep breath and looked at you, “She wants more than I can give her. She needs to be with women, she said. And…” he gulped and looked back out the window, “… she said she couldn’t ever look at me the same after that night. Said I’d never be able to have that with her.”

You kept your brows pinched together as you listened to him. It broke your heart that things had fallen apart for them. That it had all been too much.

“But I thought you two were happy. There was never any indication before that something was wrong.”

He nodded, “I thought so too. But she couldn’t get passed it and she said she’d been thinking about it for a long time. Before we even thought of having you join,” he glanced at you before looking down at his glass, “She’s been needing something else for a while. I never knew. I thought it was enough. I knew she missed women and that kind of softness in bed but I had no idea that it affected her so much. To me, her confession was sudden. But supposedly she’s been keeping it in for a long time.”

Without even thinking you reached out and grabbed his hand, “I’m so sorry, Harry.”

Harry looked down at your small hand covering his and up to your eyes, “She said that when she apologized to you she felt free to finally be herself. I was blindsided. Then last week she told me she was going to go on a date with a woman she’s known for years. Ripped me right half. She was gone all night. But I mean, our marriage is over anyway.”

You gently smoothed your thumb over his knuckles and kept your eyes on his face.

“So I offered her a divorce and told her I can’t tolerate her dating someone if I’m not involved somehow. She understood that. She told me she hoped I would find someone,” he paused as he sighed to collect his words so they didn’t come out as a surprise to you, “…with whom I could have the kind of chemistry she saw that night between us.”

You didn’t know how to respond. Or if you should. You were well aware of the way you and Harry connected and how natural everything felt with him. But at the same time, you never thought it was much more than just good chemistry. You couldn’t allow yourself to think of it as more than that.

“Anyway, she’s at home with the boys and I needed to get out and breathe. Figured I’d have a beer or two and then go back home. Sleep in the guest room like I have been. We’re still trying to figure out how to tell the kids.”

You nodded softly, “That’s awful, Harry. I don’t know what to say except I’m so sorry.”

Harry breathed out a laugh through his nostrils and shook his head, “You don’t need to pity me. I’m sad but I’ll be okay. It’s better anyway, I think in the end. She wasn’t fulfilled and part of me knows I wasn’t either. We could have made it work but I don’t think she’d have been happy for much longer. It was only a matter of time I suppose.”

“Y/n! Next game’s about to start. You wanna join?” Arla suddenly interrupted.

You turned to look at her and back to Harry, “This is Harry, and Harry, this is my friend Arla. She and I have two classes together.”

Harry smiled at your friend and looked at you, “I’m just about to finish up. You go and enjoy your night off with your friends.”

You didn’t want to part ways with Harry yet. It felt like you needed to sit with him longer. So you turned to Arla, “I’m gonna pass. But you guys go ahead!”

“Are you sure?” She looked from you to Harry and back to you again.

“Yeah. I’m sure.”

When she walked off Harry grabbed your hand, “You don’t have to pity me I said. I’m okay, really. I know this has to be boring for you to sit here listening to me whine about my life. You should go.”

Shaking your head you frowned, “I didn’t want to go, Harry. Thought maybe if you’re leaving anyway I could walk you out. Hug you goodbye. I don’t know when I’ll ever see you again. Or if I see you again…”

Harry tilted his head and nodded, “Okay. Deal. I’ll settle up and be right back.”

You watched Harry make his way to the bar and get his credit card back from the bartender. He was achingly attractive, even doing absolutely nothing, he was the most attractive man you’d ever laid eyes on. And far and away the kindest.

When he returned you stood from the stool and he gestured for you to lead the way to the door. The night air was warm as you turned to look up at Harry.

“I’m parked just up the street,” he jutted his chin in the direction of his car, “It was really nice to see you–“

“I’ll walk with you to your car,” you rushed the words out. You weren’t ready for him to leave. You were certain you’d never see him again and that thought was scarier than insisting you walk him to his car. Maybe just being near him for a few extra moments would make you feel better.

Silently you both walked side by side down the sidewalk toward his car. And when you got to his spot he smiled down at you, “Did you drive here?”

You shook your head, “Shared an Uber with two of my friends.”

He nodded, “Well, Y/n…” he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around your shoulders and you pulled your arms around his middle and smushed your face against his chest. He squeezed you tight and you squeezed back.

You felt his breath at your temple, “God I’m gonna miss you.”

You tilted your head back to look up at him, “I’m gonna miss you too, Harry.”

The streetlamp that cast the smallest bit of light from across the street flickered off and then sputtered back on again as you kept your eyes locked with Harry’s. You’d miss his eyes and his cologne and how nice he was to you. It felt wrong to simply let him leave.

“Y/n…” Harry spoke softly as he brought a hand up to your face, his fingers slid behind your ear and his thumb caressed your cheekbone, “Can I have one more kiss? If it’s okay?”

Nodding your head you felt his hand pull your face closer to his. He pressed his nose against yours as you fluttered your eyes shut and then felt his lips gently move over yours.

And something inside of you felt like it’d been unlocked as you opened your mouth and let him slip his tongue inside, to which you pressed yours against his and heard him moan.

You gripped his shirt tight and felt him push your back into his car as he caged you in with his arms and his hips pressed against yours. It had all happened so fast but your head was spinning and you both were lost in each other with a hungry kiss and wet lips.

He moved his hand to your neck and wrapped his palm around the front of your throat, keeping his lips attached to yours before he parted with a soft gasp, “Want to hear you say it just one more time f’me, sweet girl. What do you call me?”

You closed your eyes and felt the tips of his fingers squeezing gently at the side of your neck. You knew exactly what he was asking.

“Daddy,” you breathed before you felt his warm lips slot between yours again. He moaned deeply and you clung to his back in hopes of him staying. You didn’t want this to be it.

When you shifted your hips he lowered a hand to your thigh and pulled it upward, tucking himself in closer.

It turned out, that one more kiss wasn’t just any old kiss. Wasn’t just something you could pull away from once his lips smeared against yours, once his tongue lapped against your tongue. You held him tight through his shirt and he kept your thigh hitched over his hip and his hand at your neck as his mouth moved with yours under the flickering streetlamp.

When he pulled back and looked down at you, you tightened your fingers around his shirt, “Do you want to come over? To my place?” You couldn’t let the moment getaway. Couldn’t let Harry just leave like that. You also couldn’t believe you’d asked him over. But it was that or watch him drive away and never see him again.

Harry pulled his hand off your neck and softly tucked his fingers to the back of your head, “Really?”

You nodded and raised your brows, suddenly feeling the heat of embarrassment, “If you want. I mean you don’t–“

Your words were swallowed by Harry’s mouth over yours again. Soft lips and wet tongue making you ache and filling you with just enough gall to ask for what you’d wanted. And that was to have him in your apartment. Alone. You just wanted a little bit more. Before it was all over and forgotten and in the past. Before the moment was just something you’d look back on in the future with a tinge of sadness but with a smile on your face.

Harry opened his passenger side door for you to get inside and you texted Jax quickly explaining your sudden absence with an apology. You could explain to your friends later.

You felt Harry scoop your hand into his as he started his car and pulled out into the street. The song on the radio had just come to an end and a commercial began to play, “You’ll have to remind me of your address,” Harry glanced at you before looking back at the street.

“Oh! Yeah! Of course. Um… Just take this street to Caldwell and take a right and then we’ll go to the bridge and merge onto the highway but you’ll only be on for one exit and then the first right off the access road. Then it’s like two miles and the apartments are on the left.”

Harry laughed, “Maybe you can tell me as we approach where I need to turn. I’m a little wound up right now. Might not remember all that,” he grinned.

You were feeling your nerves begin to bubble with each mile closer to your apartment. But Harry was trying to keep you calm, you could tell.

“So, you told me once you don’t have roommates. Is that still the case?”

You nodded and looked at his handsome side profile, “Yeah. No roommates. It’s only a one bedroom. My uncle is the apartment manager and so I get rent super cheap otherwise I wouldn’t be able to have a place on my own.” “That’s nice. Looking forward to seeing it.”

Biting your lip you looked out the window and felt a pinch of anxiety. You knew what was probably about to happen and you’d welcome it! But then after that what? Would he stick around? Would you see him again? Would Kit be mad?

“What are your plans for tomorrow, Y/n?”

You released your bottom lip from your teeth, “I have a paper due on Monday so I planned on getting my sources and starting the outline. I have it mostly written but now I need to back up what I’m saying and that means I’ll probably wind up needing to rewrite some portions. But that’s my plan for tomorrow and Sunday. Get that finished up. What about you?” You looked back at him as you asked.

“Tomorrow afternoon I’m taking the boys to that Science and Play place. Not sure if you ever heard of it?” He peeked at you quickly.

“I have! I’ve actually been there,” you laughed and Harry softly rubbed his thumb along yours.

“William loves it. He’s been begging to go back. And they have a restaurant there so we’ll make a whole afternoon of it. Let the boys explore. Kit’s going out tomorrow and I don’t want the boys to see her getting all dressed up so I’m going to stay out of the house with them as long as possible.”

You nodded, “That makes sense. I’m sorry, Harry.”

He shook his head, “Don’t be. I’m suddenly not feeling so down about it all right now,” he squeezed your hand as you directed him onto the highway.

You smiled to yourself at his comment and understood what he meant exactly.

After Harry parked in the guest parking spot, you led him to your apartment up a flight of metal stairs to the second floor. You were normally very tidy and neat but you’d been a bit out of sorts since that fateful night and plus getting back into the swing of the new semester meant you had a few things strewn about which all came into view once you turned on the light.

“Sorry about the mess,” you gestured at your couch and the small chair next to it with your clothes draped over the arms.

But Harry didn’t seem to care as he pulled you into his arms and cupped your face, bringing his lips down to yours. You kissed him back with as much heat as he was putting into the kiss. You grasped onto the lats of his back as he moved you with him slowly until he pulled you into his lap on the couch and your fervor only increased.

You ran your fingers into his hair as he kissed his way down your jaw and then to your neck, pecking gently along the front of your throat and back up to your lips, “Loved when you wore that little pearl choker.”

He drew his hands along the outside of your jeans-clad thighs and you pulled away to look at his beautiful face, “I still have it.”

“Mmm… It goes with your innocent act so perfectly,” he grinned, “But I know you’re not innocent, baby. Far from it.”

You could feel his breath against your lips as he spoke and you felt that recognizable hardness under his pants.

“Why don’t you go put that pretty thing on your neck for Daddy and take off everything else?”

You were quick to push yourself off his lap and go into your bedroom. You smiled as you pulled the choker from its velvet bag and happily put it back onto your neck. You thought you’d never want it on again, but if Harry wanted it on, you would absolutely wear it.

You pulled your shirt off and began to unbutton your pants before pushing them down your legs. You hadn’t done much upkeep on yourself other than just shaving around your bikini line to keep it neat, but you knew better than to start rethinking everything now. If you had a bit of a bush so be it. You were mostly certain Harry wouldn’t mind.

When you unhooked your bra Harry was standing in your doorway watching you. His hands slowly undoing the buttons on his shirt as he watched you peel your panties down your legs.

His shirt hung open as he stepped in front of you and cupped your face. His eyes wandered over your breasts and up to your choker before setting them back on your face, “Do you know how hard you make me, Y/n? This little thing on your neck,” he lowered his thumb to the pearls and pressed on it, “…these sexy lips,” he dipped in and kissed you as he lowered both hands to your tits, “…and these gorgeous breasts.”

You smoothed your hands over his warm chest as his mouth covered yours with lazy, sloppy kisses.

“Want you to bend over the bed. Show me that pretty ass. I think you need a little spanking for making Daddy wait a month and a half to see you again.”

You moaned and then swallowed as you turned around and draped your upper half over your unmade bed, baring your full ass to him.

You felt his hands cupping your bottom and smoothing up and down to your thighs as he cooed at you, “God damn, baby. Look at you. So fucking sweet and naughty for me,” the first strike against your bottom came unexpectedly and immediately after he spoke.

He brought his other palm down on your other side and you yelped and turned to look at him over your shoulder.

He lifted his gaze from your bum to your eyes and smirked at you as he smacked you again. You dropped your mouth open and groaned when he did it again and again until you squeezed your eyes closed and stuffed your face into the mattress as he left stinging handprints on your backside.

When you felt him move away you lifted and turned to look at him behind you as he removed his clothes. He watched you with dark eyes, his sight moving from your bum to your face, “On your knees. Face me,” he motioned for you to move.

You brought yourself to your knees and looked up at him, your eyes big and round and sweet. He licked his lips and ran his knuckles over your temple, “Gotta burn this image into my brain. The sweetest thing I’ve ever seen.”

He stroked himself slowly, his cock was already fully thickened and mouthwatering. You looked from his big dick up to his face as he dragged a soft thumb over your lips. He pressed his thumb into your mouth and you opened up for him.

“Keep your mouth open like this,” he pressed down on your tongue, making your jaw widen, “There we go. Need space for me in there. You want Daddy’s cock inside your mouth?”

You nodded and gurgled a yes which made him grin proudly, “I know you do. You like having your face fucked, don’t you? Little naughty girl desperate to choke and make Daddy happy.”

“Yes. Please…” you panted and opened your mouth wider for him.

Harry smeared his cock over your lips. His warm tip dragged against the soft skin of your mouth as you poked your tongue out to dab at his slit.

“Go on then. Suck.” He prodded himself forward a bit and you wrapped your lips around his smooth tip and grasped at this base. Swirling your tongue around the skin under his crown you pushed yourself down on him and pulled back, sucking in and dragging your tongue along the way before edging back down again, trying to get him as deep as possible.

You’d given head before. You had never much enjoyed it. Felt it was more a means to an end sometimes. But with Harry standing over you and cradling the back of your head, his eyes on your mouth as you took him on your tongue you realized you loved giving head. Maybe it was just Harry, though. Maybe you only loved sucking his cock because it was attached to him and you wanted to please him in every way you possibly could.

“Fuck,” Harry moaned breathily as you looked up at him with your puffy lips parted around him, moving up and down, sucking and licking, hollowing your cheeks every time you pulled back to his tip just before pushing him further into your mouth.

When you put a hand on his ball sac and softly rolled it in your palm Harry threw his head back and panted breathily, “Oh my god, baby.”

You continued your work as your eyes became blurred with tears and your chin wet with drool. You stuffed yourself down over him until his tip was poked into your throat and you gagged around him. When you repeated that move, causing you to swallow around him and gag lightly, still gently massaging his balls he pulled you off and lifted you to stand up.

“Enough for now. Think you’ve earned a reward for that.” He gently walked you backward to your bed and then gestured for you to get on just as he climbed on and pulled you over his lap again. Harry laid down, bringing you with him, and kissed you. You could feel his solid, damp cock against your pussy as you kissed him and he groped your bottom, moving you up and down against him slowly, your pussylips pushed apart and dragged over his cock.

Suddenly he pushed at you, making you sit upright, your hands on his pecs as he cupped your tits in his hands, “I want you to ride my face. Get yourself off.”

You laughed and looked at him, “How should I…”

But you let out a small squeak as he pulled at you and dragged you up his chest and over his face, gripping onto your hips and making you settle your pussy over his lips. He began kissing and licking right away, his eyes on you.

“Ohhh…” you placed your hands on the top of the headboard as you looked down and watched Harry under you. It felt so good having him naked in your bed. Having his eyes on you. Having his hands on your ass. His lips on your pussy.

You slowly tilted your hips forward and felt the sparkle of your clit being pressed into his mouth. Harry held you down tight and lapped at you, concentrating on your clit as he sucked on it.

Harry’s fingers dug into your soft bum and you felt as he moved one hand, reaching further back and dipping a finger into your pussy before smearing your arousal up and over your anus. You gasped as you stared down at his eyes. He softly circled the spot as he continued working on your clit with his mouth.

You’d never had anything done to your bottom before, but if Harry wanted to, you’d let him. You were pretty much all yes and please when it came to him anyway. You’d happily let him do what he wanted.

But he never pressed in. He only pushed at your hole and circled over the outside with a wet finger and it had you reeling.

“Daddy, oh my god!”

Harry moved his hand away and put it back on your hips so he could pull you down and move you back and forth over his face. You felt like you were in such a vulnerable position, naked, sitting on his mouth the way you were. There was part of you that worried you were crushing him but he only pulled you against his mouth harder, his brows furrowing as he tried to draw an orgasm out of you.

He moaned against your clit and drew it into his mouth, letting his tongue flick against it. The little wet noises coming from his mouth against you sounded dirty with the backdrop of your loud moaning.

Sometimes you were able to force an orgasm from yourself if you held your vibrator against your clit. Even if you weren’t worked up at all. Just for a quick release.

But you were definitely worked up with Harry. Wet and puffy and the way he was mouthing and pulling at your clit with his lips you couldn’t stop your climax even if you wanted to. It dripped from your cunt all over his mouth as you loudly cried out. Your thighs quivered around his head as you leaned forward and felt wave after wave of your release.

Harry kept his hands tight on you, holding you close so he could make sure you were feeling everything he gave you.

“Fffffuuuu!” You were feeling overwhelmed as he continued sucking you in and holding you down over him. You whined and tried lifting your hips up but he swatted at your ass before gripping your thigh and doubling down on your clit.

“Oooh ssssshhit! Ffuck!” You were trembling uncontrollably as you white-knuckled the headboard and looked down at the scene of the crime. Harry’s head between your thighs with his eyes on yours and his wet nose was lewd.

But then something snapped and the overwhelming feeling started to melt into yet another orgasm that was drawn from you without warning. You cried and whimpered as Harry let go of your thighs and put his hands at your waist to keep you steady. Your whole body trembled as you tried to hold onto the headboard but you were feeling out of your mind and blurry.

When he moved you to your back you were still coming down from the back-to-back orgasms and your brain was trying to fight its way back to the surface of clarity and awareness. Harry lay next to you and kissed your neck, his fingers trailing up your tummy and over your breasts and to your little choker, “You okay, Y/n?” His voice was barely above a whisper.

Your chest was still rising and falling heavily as you nodded, “I’m so good.”

You felt Harry’s thigh draped over the tops of yours as he trailed soft kisses up your neck and to your jaw, “You are so good.”

Reaching across your body you placed your fingers in Harry’s hair, “I want you to come, Daddy.”

Harry laughed out a puff of breath against your jaw and lifted his face to look at you, “Oh you do? You’re so sweet, honey,” his voice came out raspy and deep as he kneed his way between your legs, pushing your thighs apart and fitting himself comfortably over you, pulling at your knees to bend them up so your feet were flat.

He smiled down at you, breaking the lusty moment, “You don’t happen to have a condom do you?”

You thought for a moment. You were sure you didn’t, “I don’t really think I do. But,” you gulped and flexed your fingers nervously into the skin of his back, “I’m on birth control, so…”

Harry pursed his lips in pause as he kept his eyes on yours, “Okay,” he dipped down to kiss you, “You sure?”

“Yes. I’m sure. Want to feel you,” you nodded.

You were still so wet between your legs. You could feel Harry’s length easily slide against your pussy as he shifted himself down and pressed the top of his thighs into the back of yours, pushing your legs up slightly.

He placed his forearms down on the bed, caging you in, and pressed his mouth to yours softly. You felt him nudging at your opening so you lifted your hips, pushing against him as his tongue licked at the crease of your lips. The moment you felt his bulbous tip press through the tight muscle of your opening you gasped, dropping your mouth wide open. The feel of him entering you slowly with the weight of his hips against yours had you melting.

“That feels so good, doesn’t it baby?”

You whimpered with a nod, “Yes, Daddy…”

“Fuck I can hear how wet you are for me,” he pulled back and then pressed in. “Gonna make me come so hard, sweet girl.”

The deeper he went in the more you felt your body floating away. There was no question that Harry had a big dick. And you knew he was aware of this as well because he was gentle with you as he inched his way in and pulled back slowly.

When he’d finally poked in as deep as possible and his balls were tucked into your ass he sloppily kissed you as he began to fuck into you with slow and languid strokes. Gushy and hot and unforgiving. Even as slow as he was going every time his head nudged into your cervix you hissed into his mouth. But there was something about the little ache that you loved. Probably because it was Harry.

His pelvis dragged against your clit every time he pushed in and you felt his hand clutch the back of your neck as he licked into your mouth.

Your pussy was so full. So happy. You could feel yourself open and stretch around him. It had your head spinning.

Harry grunted as he lifted himself and softly pressed his nose against yours, “Feel that, baby? Feel Daddy’s cock sliding inside of your tight pussy? You’re gripping me so good.”

His slow rhythmic thrusts grew faster as he let go of the back of your neck and pushed himself up, palms on the mattress. His plunges were deeper and stronger and his thighs and back were flexing as he worked himself in and out, faster little by little.

“Shit! Daddy!” You shakily yelped at the faster cadence and the way he was now punching into your cervix, “It’s so fucking deep,” you gritted your teeth and threw your neck back.

“Is it too deep for your little pussy, honey? Huh?” He rutted his hips in as he asked, punctuating what he meant.

You inhaled sharply when he plunged in again, grinding his hips against yours and stuffing himself into the hilt, “Oh my god, yes! But I need it!”

Harry groaned as kept himself balls deep and sat back onto his haunches, grabbing onto your thighs to keep you in place.

With his hands at the back of your knees, he began to slide into you in long, heavy strokes until he was smacking into you just enough that your tits were bouncing and your bed was creaking in time with his thrusts.

Harry licked his thumb and lowered it to your clit which had you jolting with a small cry. Your clit was super sensitive after the way he’d handled you moments earlier.

He watched his cock move through your hole, your pussy wrapped around him tight and coating him in your cream. He moaned as his thumb was lathered in your arousal from how he was slipping it back and forth over your puffy clit.

Your small grunts and squeaks increased the wetter you got and the harder the mattress bounced under you. The patting of his skin against yours was rhythmic and bumped you upward every time he slammed into you.

You started to see stars, you could swear it as your limbs began to tingle and disintegrate. Harry was grunting and moaning at the view of your pussy wrapped around him tight and the way it felt to be swallowed by you, warm and wet and clenching.

Harry gasped and paused his strokes as he breathed heavily. His chest was red as leaned back over you and kissed you so sweetly it took your breath away. You both moaned in synch as your tongues wound around each other and wet lips slobbered together when he began to drill into you again, slower but with muscle.

You started to quiver with his chest pressed to yours and his cock deep inside of you, his pelvis grinding against yours.

“There you go… let me feel that pussy coming. Oh, baby that feels good doesn’t it,” he rutted into you as he spoke against your lips.

You nearly howled with your third orgasm. It was one thing to come from clitoral stimulation but quite another to have your clit being smeared into while having a big cock nudging in and out of you as you lost control of all functions.

Harry watched your face as you scrunched your brow and chanted Daddy and he drove into you in solid, squelching plunges. His cock made its way over your spongy insides repeatedly, hitting that one spot with his big crown over and over again until you were spent. Done for. There was nothing left for you to give.

Harry kissed you softly, stuffing himself into you gently, and moaned, “M’gonna come baby but I’m gonna pull out okay? Where do you want it sweet girl?”

You peeled your eyes open and exhaled softly, “In my mouth. Let me have it in my mouth, Daddy,” you nodded as you gripped his shoulders.

Harry stopped his motions and looked at you, almost as if in awe as he ticked his head back in forth like he was in disbelief, “Yeah?”

You nodded as he plunged in a few more times, pressing you upward, his eyes on yours as his moaning progressively got softer and you swore whiney even.

He pushed himself up and pulled out, taking his cock in his hand and pumping himself, smoothing your creamy arousal around his shaft and smothering his palm. He took his other hand and pulled you up by your neck and brought your mouth over his cock as he sat back onto his haunches.

You quickly lowered your mouth over him, tasting your juices as you sucked him in and then felt him begin to release down your throat in spurts. He coughed out a loud groan as he rutted upward, his tip slipping down your throat with his hand at the back of your head, “Fuck!” He panted and you felt his thighs shaking as he rolled his hips upward.

You swallowed and gurgled him down the best you could, gripping the base of his shaft in your hand and sucking while swirling your tongue around him until his cock stopped throbbing and pumping and he was softly gasping and breathing.

You licked your way up and popped your mouth off of him but you were in a daze.

Harry smoothed his lips against yours and easily laid you down on your back, “Just lay here and rest. I’ll be right back sweetheart.”

You closed your eyes and hummed to yourself at the taste in your mouth and the way your body was buzzing with satisfaction.

Opening your eyes just as Harry walked back into the room he was buck naked, cock swinging, chest slightly damp, and impossibly strong thighs. A god really. You’d never get over his body.

He held a glass of water out to you and had brought in a damp towel to wipe you up. You sat up to take a few gulps of water before he delicately pushed you to lie back down. The towel was warm and it felt so good on your sensitive skin.

Harry laid next to you and kissed your cheek and then nuzzled into your neck, his hot breath falling over your skin, “You’re amazing, baby. I’m never gonna forget tonight. So good for me.”

You sighed and turned to face him as he gently dabbed between your legs, “Kiss me, Daddy.”

His grin made the edges of his eyes crinkle, “Happily.” He pressed his mouth against yours and you both kissed soft and lazy as he tossed the damp towel to your floor and wrapped you in his arms.

You couldn’t be sure of how he kissed you but when he was helping you out of bed and speaking softly to you about having a bath with him so he could hold you longer you felt wobbly still.

With your eyes closed and your back against his chest in the warm water, he started talking. And as you felt more aware and conscious you realized he was sort of spilling his guts to you.

“I was so sad when I woke up this morning. But seeing you and all this,” he squeezed your arms, “I think I can breathe now. You made everything feel better, Y/n.”

You listened closely as he continued, his chest vibrating as he spoke, “I haven’t stopped thinking about you since that night. And I realized something too. Tonight. Just now. I think Kit was right. You and I do really have good chemistry. We fit so well together don’t we?”

You hummed and nodded with a small smile on your face.

He sighed and pulled his arms around you, “Don’t want this night to end. Want to just stay here with you, holding you like this.”

Your heart began to pound as you started to feel his words. You knew what he meant and you felt it. You could feel his scruff on your temple as he rubbed his face in toward yours, “You feeling better now?”

You nodded and turned toward his face, “Yes. So much better. You make me feel so good.”

Harry slowly blinked as he kept his gaze on yours, “You make me feel so good too.”

When the water grew tepid Harry wrapped you in a towel and tightly hugged you as he walked you to your room and made you drink more water.

He took your towel off and helped you into your bed and pulled your blankets over your naked body before he began to pick up his clothes from the floor.

You pouted and sat up, “Please don’t go. Will you stay here tonight? I need you here with me. I think I just…” you felt tears in your eyes as you looked upward to will them away.

Harry dropped his pants to the floor and sat on your bed, cupping your face to look at you, “I didn’t want to assume you wanted me to stay. But I’ll stay tonight. I’d love to stay with you.

So he did. He held you in his arms, pet your back, and kissed your forehead until you had drifted away into a deep sleep.

The morning was slow with the first bit of sun shining through the cracks of your window. You were burning hot in Harry’s arms so you poked your head up and breathed as you wiggled out of his hold.

“Where you going?” His groggy morning voice was too sexy to make sense.

“I have to pee,” you laughed as he released your wrist and you quickly padded to your bathroom.

When you got back into your room Harry was already dressed and running a hand through his hair as he looked at himself in your mirror.

Turning to face you he grinned at your Pokemon robe, “Cute. You’re always so fucking cute, Y/n.”

You looked down at the robe and shrugged at him with a small smile.

“I have to go. I hate to leave so quickly but I’ve got to get home to the boys and get them ready for our little outing today.”

You nodded, “Yeah. That’s okay. I understand.”

Harry tilted his head as he stepped in front of you and pulled you in for a hug. It felt like one of those this-is-it hugs. It felt so final.

“Y/n,” Harry pulled back to look at you, “You’re amazing. If you ever need anything or just want to say hi, you know how to reach me.”

You walked him to your door and watched as he made his way down the steps and out of your sight. Your final view of the only man you were sure you’d never get over.

.           .           .

“This is cute,” your cousin reached out to touch your pink pearl choker as you stuffed your bag with clothes.

You paused what you were doing and placed your fingers over the necklace with a smile, “Thank you.”

The necklace gave you warm and happy memories now. As much as you wished something could have happened between you and Harry you knew that just wasn’t possible. He was going through a divorce, had kids, a broken heart… But your last night together had mended you wholly. You knew it was something you’d never forget and you were grateful to him. You just hoped that maybe it did him some good too. Maybe it was something he took with him that made him smile like it did you.

The days and weeks after had been hard for you. Often you’d pick up your phone and compose a text, only to read it over and over again before deleting it. It was hard to let him go completely but now it was Christmas Eve and you felt like you were on the other side of it. Mostly. You still thought of him every day but it was easier.

“You have such good taste. You’ll have to go with me shopping sometime.” Chandy spoke as she plopped down on your bed next to your bag.

“That sounds fun actually.”

Chandy had come over to your apartment to pick you up since she lived so close. You were heading to her family home an hour out of the city. It was tradition for the whole family to get together at your aunt and uncle’s lake home. It was gorgeous in the winter with their soaring windows and snow all around.

You stacked presents into two grocery bags and slung your overnight bag over your shoulder, “Ready?”

“Yes! First, I have to use your bathroom then we’ll hit the road.” Chandy rushed off.

You sat on the edge of the arm of your couch and pulled out your phone to see a text that had your heart squeezing and throbbing.

It was a picture of Harry and the boys in front of a Christmas tree and his text read:

Merry Christmas, Y/n. We miss you!

You quickly typed out a response.

Merry Christmas! I miss you guys so much!

You placed your hand over your heart to calm yourself and the sudden rush of all your feelings you thought had begun to fade away came rushing back.

You closed your eyes after you watched your sent text go from delivered to read.

When you opened your eyes and saw that he was typing something your entire body grew hot as you stared intently at your phone.

“Okay! Ready!” Chandy chirped.

You stood up with your phone in your hand, “Uh, I’m gonna just go to the bathroom too real quick!”

You closed the bathroom door and felt the vibration from an incoming text. A wide grin on your face.

What are you doing for New Year’s?

As fast as your fingers allowed you responded.

No plans. What about you?

It was the longest wait while you watched the bouncing dots stop and restart. A full minute of waiting as you flushed the toilet (to pretend you’d been using it so Chandy didn’t wonder) and then washed your hands, staring at your screen.

The boys and I will be making a very “special” dinner and then we’ll ring in the New Year with sparkling grape juice and The Poseidon Adventure. They each invited a friend and told me I had to invite someone too.

Drying your hands off, you bit your lip and typed.

That sounds so fun. Who will you invite?

You chuckled to yourself. You were almost certain he was inviting you but you couldn’t be sure until you saw his response.

I’m inviting YOU. Wasn’t it obvious? ; )

Well, in that case, I’ll be there. I wouldn’t miss it. <3

.           .           .

You had no idea what to expect for New Year’s but you and Harry hadn’t stopped texting since he reached out. The whole time you were with your family on Christmas you kept your phone by your side so you wouldn’t miss a single message.

You dressed casually for the New Year’s Eve party at Harry’s because there were going to be 4 ten-year-old boys there. And you learned the “special” dinner they were making was grilled cheese sandwiches, French fries, and for dessert chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. It honestly sounded amazing.

You also learned that Kit had moved out, leaving the house to Harry and they were on very good terms. They would split custody of the boys 50 / 50. And that technically they were still married but the divorce was moving along quickly because there were very few things that needed to be worked out. They seemed to be on the same page.

You parked in the street in front of the Styles house and noticed lights strung up on the columns of the porch and a Christmas wreath on the front door.

The moment you closed the door to your car you saw the front door open and Warner and William busted out and ran toward you, “Y/n!! You came!” – “Dad said you were coming!”

They both hugged you, one on each side and you could have cried. You hadn’t seen them since August and it was already December. You felt like they’d grown bigger in those few months.

They started to pull you toward the house but you laughed and stopped, “Hold on! I have presents for everyone in the car I have to get.”

You opened your trunk and pulled out two bags that had presents inside and when you closed it Harry was there in the yard watching you with a soft grin. You felt blood rush to the apples of your cheeks at the sight of him and your heart throbbed in your chest.

“Hi, Y/n,” his dimples winked awake and the corners of his eyes crinkled as he stepped forward to take your bags, handing one to Warner and one to William, “Take these inside and pour Y/n a glass of the New Year’s mocktail we made. We’ll be right in.”

You clasped your hands behind your back as you let your eyes fall over his outfit. He was wearing a red chunky knit sweater with a big green Christmas tree in the center that had gold and silver balls all over it, “Love the sweater.”

Harry looked down at it and back at you, “Love that you’re here.”

The heat that spread over your face stretched down your neck and your back as he stepped in closer. He was far too handsome for his own good and all the memories you had with him were flooding your brain with inappropriate thoughts but also with fondness and excitement.

“Thank you for inviting me.” You looked up at him as he stood directly in front of you.

Harry stared down at you for a moment, his eyes blinking and his pink lips twitching tremulously, “I know I look ridiculous in this,” he gestured at his sweater looking down at it and then back at you, “and this isn’t the most romantic reunion but I wanted to ask you before the festivities started if you’d like to go on a date with me tomorrow night?”

Your lips parted as the question floated around in the air between you two. You couldn’t believe he was asking you on a date.

“A date? Like…” You bit your lip and looked down at the ground and back up at Harry, “A date date?”

Harry smiled widely and nodded, “A date date.”

You exhaled a small laugh and nodded, “Harry, I’d love that. Yes.”

Suddenly his arms were wound around your middle and you squealed as he lifted you from the ground and spun you in his arms. The moment your feet hit the grass he gave you a quick kiss, cupping your face in his hands, and then parted as he looked back at the house.

Harry let you go and smirked at you as he took your hand to lead you to the house whispering, “Now I know this sweater is pure sex but you’re just gonna have to keep your hands to yourself tonight.”

You laughed and squeezed his hand, “It’s gonna be hard but I think I can behave.”

Harry stopped and turned his face toward you, his warm mouth at your ear, “Y/n, I’m so glad you’re here.”

A/N: I hope you guys loved this! Let me know your thoughts please!!

Feedback/Thoughts | Ko-fi | Main Masterlist | Patreon

Thank you for reading! I appreciate any support so remember to comment, reblog, & like 💕

Tags: @littlenatilda @harryspirate @itsmytimetoodream @princessaxoo @summertime-pills @egirlshit @chesthairrry @idontknowbi @f1n3l1n3 @tpwk-sophie @justtilly @fictionalmensblog @harrrystyles5 @gem1712 @daphnesutton @becauseheartsgetbroken-hs @michellekstyles @yousunshineyoutempter @tenaciousperfectionunknown @golden-hoax @swiftmendeshoran @luvonstyles @tiaamberxx @lukesaprince @closureesny @justlemmeadoreyou @itsgigikay @angelbabyyy99 @lllukulele @lanadelharry @novasblogofstuff @gills-lounge @damnasstyles @malwtilda @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @0oolookitsme @babybunharry @anothermannharry @love-letters-to-uranus @itjustkindahappenedreally @kelly-fushiguro345 @ssaama @onlyangellucifer @harryistheonlyoneforme @butdaddyilovehim-hs @reveriehs @lc-fics @mema10 @carmenxharry @hannahdressedasabanana @babegoalsreads

[xamag-draws]

BBR thoughts 2024

Since I mentioned that I finally dusted off an old project of mine and was ruminating on how I'd remake it, I thought I'd elaborate a little, now that I've solidified some concepts. For funsies

This is gonna be a bit of a long and unfocused one, but I don't share my personal thoughts here often, especially the stuff about my projects I always marinate in. And for once it's something that people have existing context for, so hey why not

So for anyone who hasn't been following me for a gajillion years, The Black Brick Road of OZ was a webcomic that I posted around 2013-2015, back when I was in highschool going on college (which is kinda crazy to think about). It was sort of a darker twist on The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, although I definitely leaned a lot more into dark humor more than anything in those first few chapters

I don't think it's available to read anywhere anymore, and I know people have been asking me about it. So here's the full proper archive of BBR, as full as it can be with deceased Flash

I totally used it as an excuse to shamelessly and self-indulgently experiment. It had interactive pages and GIFs and was wayyy too overproduced for what I could handle or what was necessary, but I did have great fun making it while it lasted

Unfortunately, that excess and the fact that I've changed too much as a person by the time I was in college is what ultimately killed it. The direction I wanted to go in was practically unrecognizable from the original idea started back in 2011, so there were many old hold-ups that I felt ruined it

At the time I kinda wished I could start/rewrite it all over, but considering that I pretty much had the entire script done at that point, it felt like a pointless sisyphean task. So I just put it on a shelf and didn't look back for about 8 years, because I didn't know what else to do

Now to be fair, the nature of my art has always been iterative and cyclical; when I feel like my creative juices have run dry I prefer to leave a project to marinate and move on to something else; cycle through other old things and bring in new skills and perspectives into the mix when I'm ready again. Not very productive, but it is what makes me happy to work on my OCs; I'm doomed to hit a wall with them eventually and I need some time to be able to find a new direction

So that said, I'm glad that BBR was left to marinate for that long. I don't think I was prepared, emotionally or intellectually, to tackle it again until now. The Wizard of Oz book (and the entire series of them, really) has always been near and dear to my heart, but there's a lot of context around it that I'm only unpacking now that I'm older

I think I always inherently feel negatively about the stuff I've made in the past, like its faults always jump out to me more than the positives, especially the more time passes. I've never liked that, and I do really appreciate the kind things people have to say about BBR to this day. The fact that it still can be recognized and remembered is very sweet

When I left it, I already found it "kinda cringe", and that feeling only deepened with years. When I took my first look back at it, asking the question "how would I rewrite it now?", at first I took a very cynical approach, as in "everything would have to be torn down"

But the more I sat on it, the more I found that I still see some merit and charm in the ideas I was putting out; I just didn't know how to execute them at the time (not to pretend that I know what I'm doing now, but I certainly know more at least). Turns out a lot of my old concepts could be changed substantially with just a few small tweaks. So I'd say that's a nicer way to think about my previous work

If you haven't seen yet, I posted a first draft of my new designs for some of the characters (the main group, the Goods and the Wickeds). Definitely subject to change, but more or less how I see them now

I'm just playing with these concepts; by no means would I attempt to remake BBR right this moment. Call it a pipe dream among my other ones. But just for fun, this is the direction I'd like to take:

Nowadays I'd probably make it a visual novel, with more emphasis on the visual part than the novel because I'm no English prose writer by any means. It'd still let me play a little with the interactivity while helping cut some corners on the drawing part (only some, I imagine I'd go hog wild anyway)

I've always intended for some events inspired by the sequel books to take place in BBR's past. Stuff like Jinjur's revolt or Ozma's rule preceeds the main events here. So I think it would be fun to follow the past of a few key characters alongside the main story. One chapter focusing on the present quest to see the Wizard, then one focusing on the past events (that are maybe reflective thematically); rinse and repeat

I'm also sticking a little closer to the original text in some regards. Not everything that I enjoy from the books would be translated here, it's still just a very loose fantasy on the material; but I'd like to be closer in spirit at least

I like mature, wise and powerful Glinda, I like kind and vulnerable Tin Man, I like the Wizard being a pathetic yet loveable liar, so I'm sprinkling in more of that for example

I'd like to keep some whimsy, but make it more grounded and a bit more serious to be coherent in tone. I think the original TWWOOZ book was a more realistic fantasy in some ways, even for the standards of the time; I like its simple but vivid tactile descriptions and details like bringing attention that Dorothy needed to eat and sleep

I find it funny that Baum specifically was averse to making his books scary or unpleasant, finding that unnecessary for telling a compelling kids story, but they still can get pretty dark and disturbing, at least for our modern sensibilities. Let's just say that I intend to use the Evoldo and Chopfyt storylines for my purposes. In that way, I feel like a "darker" Wizard of Oz retelling can still mostly be tonally in line with the original and balance it with enough heart and occasional humor

I slowly grew to appreciate the quaint old-timey quality of the original series, as well. The first book is both timeless and very much a product of the 1900s. Originally I tried to give it a little modern or at least anachronistic spin, but it was moreso because it's what I knew best, so these days I'd rather intentionally lean into the time period. Still not fully historically accurate by any means, but at least directly acknowledging the influence

The events of the story span across 40 years of these characters' lives, so I'm drawing inspiration from the entire so-called La Belle Epoque: the time period around 1880s-1920s. Basically I'm cooking, and my soup is old Victorian fashion morphing into Edwardian fashion and slowly inching towards flappers

Some new Dolly outfits

Lots of crazy things, political changes and innovations were happening at the turn of the century, which I think is noted and reflected by Baum in the books as well; the character of Tik-Tok might not blow any minds now, but he was one of the first robot characters in literature at that point; and don't even get me started on Jinjur, etc. Plenty of really interesting stuff one could lightly ponder in an Oz adaptation these days

Aesthetically, art nouveau has always been a big artistic influence for me, and it'd definitely be its time to shine here. John R. Neill's illustrations of the Oz books often keep me company as well. Nouveau architecture in particular fits that fairytale whimsy extremely well imo

I'd allow myself a little bit of art deco here and there, but ultimately its intimidating geometrical splendor is an antithetical to the flowery nature of nouveau and I associate it with a completely different era. Definitely fitting some characters like my Wicked Witch of the West, but shouldn't be overused

One of my main problems with the original BBR was that eventually I lost track of what it was even about; and the original ending felt too mean and unfulfilling to be worth it. Now I'd like to stick to the theme of home and family as my main theme, but in a different, more bittersweet way than in the book

An interesting connection I made is that a lot of my aforementioned older key characters (the Witches, Jinjur, the Nome King, etc) all came from the same reformatory as kids, that's how they know each other. In my recent research I learned that in those reformatories it was usually frowned upon to release the children back to the families, which were seen as the original corrupting influence regardless of the circumstance. The reformatory did everything in its power to cut that connection and make itself the only family those wayward kids were supposed to know and love. That's an unexpected tie into the theme of home that I'd like to explore as well

So yeah that's the current state of it. I have a bunch of outfit concepts I'm slowly cooking, although I'm now sure whether I'd post them... But I do miss these funny guys, and I'm glad some people still do as well :)

[dr-spectre]

So.... This game is 2 years old now huh?

Honestly... I don't think i have a TON to say about this game. It's just a great ass fucking video game that has given me a lot of fun and great memories!

This game came out during my final year of school, which is kinda funny considering that Splatoon 3 acts like a "finale" to a trilogy. It's interesting how those kinds of things work out eh? Splatoon 2 came out at the start of my secondary education, and Splatoon 3 came out at the tail end of my final year.

I remember thinking before the game came out, "why do we need a Splatoon 3? This is pointless, it's just more Splatoon 2." And then my mind was quickly changed once i got to play the Splatfest test fire and the actual game itself.....

I completed ROTM in such a short amount of time and i documented my reactions to my friends. Although i was spoiled in that Deep Cut had boss fights and Mr. Grizz was the final boss, ROTM still gave me a giant smile to my face all the way through. It was so fun, so charming and just a really good single player experience.

One of the things that i LOVE about Splatoon 3 is the vibe. I just love the location of Splatsville, i love the aesthetics, the lighting, the model improvements from Splatoon 2, the music, it's my favourite art style/aesthetic out of any of the Splatoon games by far. It just feels so polished, i don't know how to exactly describe it.

Also the fact that this game won best multiplayer game of 2022 over CALL OF DUTY! OVERWATCH 2 AND MULTIVERSUS MAKES ME SO GIDDY AND HAPPY!

PEOPLE GOT MAD ABOUT THIS AND THAT MAKES ME WANNA EVIL LAUGH! All of those fucking depressed and sad Call of Duty players who whine and complain about how "wahh modern gaming sucks!! There's no good games anymore wahhh!! It's all microtransactions wahhh!!" BITCH! SPLATOON 3 IS LITERALLY THE GAME YOU'VE BEEN ASKING FOR!! Yet you won't play it because it's on Nintendo huh? Yeah... You're a fucking PUSSY!! YOU'RE WEAK!! You're SCARED to be seen as less of a manly man!! You only wanna play games with oily dirty buff men.... Yet you call others who play games like Splatoon gay? Hmm..... Sounds like you're a wittle insecureeeeee!!!!

Have fun rotting in microtransaction hell you LOSERS!! GAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyways.... uh.... sorry....

I also fucking love Deep Cut too. I thought i wasn't gonna like these guys and i remember thinking when i first saw them "oh... okayyyy..."

But now? I love these bastards.

I love their dynamic and how they are bandits but they actually wanna help the people back in Splatsville. That is such a cool and unique take to have for Idol characters. The Squid Sisters are very cutesy and so are Off the Hook, but Deep Cut aren't. They are loud, messy, chaotic, in your face, rude, etc. They are about contrast and the character designers did a phenomenal job at conveying that theme via their backgrounds and looks.

Another thing that i love about Splatoon 3 is that it also acts as a celebration of things that have come before, Inkopolis Plaza and Square return as hubs, old colour combos from previous games act as loading screens, most of the music returns in the jukebox, it rewards long time fans for sticking around and for a long running franchise IT'S SUPER IMPORTANT to have that stuff!!!

Seeing the improvements in the model quality from Splatoon 1 to 3 genuinely makes me kinda emotional, it shows how far we've come in just a little under 10 years...

It really homes in on the point that... These characters, have grown up with us.... The Squid Sisters are about to reach their mid 20s, Pearl is nearly 30 fucking years old!!!

And the last thing i wanna bring up before i talk about the Grand Fest...

...Is Side Order.

This fucking DLC... My god... Being able to experience it by myself and just enjoy the stuff i was seeing, being able to SCREAM AND CRY AS MUCH I WANT WAS SO IMPORTANT TO ME DUDE!

When i got to the 10th floor in the tutorial and i saw Marina Agitando staring me down.... I did the loudest gasp a human could possibly do and my jaw was hung to the floor for a solid MINUTE!

Marina's first fucking dev diary made me cry and scream, THAT IS NOT A JOKE!!!! THESE CHARACTERS ARE THAT IMPORTANT TO ME!

And the final boss.... Made me cry, it broke me down, i was singing along to Ebb and Flow as best as i could, it felt like i was brought back to 2018, being in my room, listening to that song on repeat... I feel like a kid again....

I love this song... i love it so much... Like it's not the most hype finale song ever, but, the emotion behind it, the build up from Splatoon 2... The power this song has in it's meaning... It's some good shit man...

So yeah! I love Splatoon 3!!! It's my favourite game out of the series and anyone who is gonna jump into this game now is gonna have a LOT to chew on.

And... It's both sweet and sad that we're at the end. This is it... The moment we've been waiting for. The final Splatfest to end them all. The event 9 years in the making.

The Grand Festival...

I am extremely excited and so FUCKING NERVOUS for this Splatfest!!!! I know i am going to cry and be so overwhelmed with joy. Seeing the Squid Sisters and Off the Hook perform their old songs again after all of these years is gonna make me sob so loudly it's not even funny.

These characters genuinely mean the world to me and it's gonna be so fucking hard for me to watch their final major appearance and say goodbye. Cause after this, we don't know what's gonna happen. I know they will come back, they have to but... In what capacity? That's what I'm scared about...

So yeah, let's savior this moment when it eventually arrives, take all the time you need to be engulfed in the Grand Fest.

Thank you Splatoon 3, you have given me so much.... It's not time to say goodbye just yet but, i wanna watch you as you walk into the sunset with your head held high....

[godmadeaterribleerror]

Calling Your Name - No Love Lost Bonus Chapter

Series Masterlist

Read on A03!

Author's Note: This one’s very sad, and very horny. I’m pregaming for Chapter 21. Title from I Don't Want to Live Forever by Taylor Swift and Zayn Malik.

Word Count: 1.3k

Summary/Warnings: Ben's first birthday awake isn't great. Takes place in Chapter 19. Usual warnings, with extra emphasis on smut.

Tags: Soldier Boy/Supe!Female Reader, canon divergence, angst, smut

The last birthday Ben had celebrated was his 68th. Big fucking party, with lions and champagne, where women who Ben couldn’t remember the names of had thrown themselves at him, and men he’d never met in his life had congratulated him on turing 27.

It had been his eighteenth 27th birthday party. In another twelve years, he'd be 28. 

The event had cost a small fortune. Likely the GDP of one of those tiny fucking European countries that had been forming as the Soviet Union fell apart. Vought had rented him a castle—Ben hadn’t even known America had castles—and flown thousands of people Ben didn’t like out to celebrate.

Today he was 106, and alone in a haunted apartment as Her voice in his head called him old.

Did you take your meds this morning, grandpa?

No. Mallory still won’t just fucking give me drugs.

He could picture Her teasing pout. Woe is you, Pretty Boy. 106 and nobody to buy you cocaine.

He sighed into the empty room, and a small part of him still hoped she’d just appear. She’d walk out of the bedroom door or in from the hall, and she'd throw herself into Ben’s arms. She'd call him a grumpy cunt, and he’d get to kiss Her until she moaned and pleaded, and tell her he loved her. Maybe she’d get on her knees, or let Ben fuck her right here on the sofa. She’d smile at him. She taunt him and ask if Social Security had an expiration date, but she’d be smiling at Ben the whole time so he’d just scoff and let her.

She hadn’t told Ben her own birthday. He’d asked, once, all the way back in the safe housem, and She’d laughed. Told him she stopped celebrating her birthday when Homelander kidnapped her. 

“It loses the magic, Pretty Boy.” Her voice had been amused and bored, but there had been something hollow in Her eyes. “Being legally dead makes birthdays seem kind of pointless.”

He’d dropped it then. Now he wished he hadn’t. Ben wanted to know so that he could be a pain in everyone’s ass about it. He’d make them throw a party, and someone would provide a cake—homemade, chocolate, with a disgusting amount of frosting and ice cream just in case She hated cake—and everyone would sing that stupid birthday song in a voice worse than Hers until She felt loved. 

He’d make sure she felt loved. Ben would buy her a gift—he wasn’t sure what, but he’d figure it out—and it would make her feel seen. Then he’d stand silently behind Her while everyone celebrated how fucking perfect she was, and cut the cake so he could make sure she got the largest piece. 

Then he’d fuck Her. He’d carry her home, into this same apartment, and up the stairs into the bed so he could fuck Her. Romantically. If Ben got to do this, it would have to be romantic. In this perfect world he was creating for himself, they’d been fucking for a while now and he’d already told Her he loved her, so he’d know all the things she likes in bed, and which of them made Her come apart the fastest. Ben would be able to use that knowledge to throughly wreck Her—turn her into a sweaty, moaning work of art below him—and remind her that he loved Her the whole time.

That was what he wanted for his birthday. Her, home, in Ben’s arms so he could fuck her and tell her he loved her. So he could get some proper fucking rest tonight, and wake up with Her at his side. So everything could finally be good again.

He didn’t have a cake. He hadn’t told anyone it was his birthday, because it didn’t really fucking feel important. They had work to do, and no one on the team was going to jump out of their chair to celebrate one of Ben’s infinite birthdays. So he grabbed a candle from the cabinet—Balsam and Cedar, Her surprisingly aggressive purchase—went to light it, and realized they didn’t actually own a lighter. She was a walking lighter, so neither of them had bothered to purchase one.

It was almost midnight. This dogshit fucking day—where he’d eaten dinner with the team and combed through Vought records and tried not to think about how She was here, wasn’t home—had been the same as yesterday. Would be the same as tomorrow. All the days would be the fucking same, numb, thoughtless shit until She was home.

She’d tell Ben her birthday when she got home. He’d figure out a way to get Her to tell him. He wouldn’t be able to trick it out of her the way she was always somehow getting Ben to say what she wanted him to. If he asked, she’d ignore him or tell him to shut the fuck up.

He could fuck it out of Her. That was the only field between them where Ben seemed to have the slightest advantage. She wasn’t as fucking excellent at hiding how much she wanted Ben as he was at hiding how much he wanted Her. But he had months of practice. Weeks and weeks in the safe house of fucking his hand to the thought of Her without her catching on. And every time Ben had touched her she’d whimpered his name and fallen apart and fucking begged, so that’s how he’d figure out Her birthday. He’d make her cum on his face once—just because he wanted to—then he’d fuck Her into the mattress until Her perfect, insane, brilliant fucking brain was empty and she was molding into Ben’s body.

He’d lean down, lips against Her ears, and hiss the question.

“When’s your birthday.”

She wouldn’t answer immediately. She’d just moan and stare at him with lust-blown, pretty eyes. So Ben would pull all the way out of Her until she whined, and slam back in hard enough to break the bed before asking again.

“Tell me your birthday, beautiful, or you don’t get to fucking cum.”

It would be a bluff. She was a goddamn force of nature when she came, and Ben wasn’t strong enough to deprive himself of watching Her lips part and head throw back, feel Her back arch off the bed and her cunt squeeze around his cock like it had before on his fingers, hear Her scream his name. Maybe She’d squirt. Ben had felt how fucking wet she could get, maybe if he fucked her right, She’d squirt.

And She’d call the bluff. Even in the haze of Ben’s  body over hers, between moans and begs, she’d call him on his shit.

“Fuck,” she whimpered when he repeated that same move again. “Fuck you, Ben-“

“Birthday.”

It would take a while, likely several minutes of that exact dance, but he’d get it. Ben would lean down to Her mouth and kiss Her, sloppy and deep, fucking her faster, and tell Her he loved her. 

Then She'd tell him, and cum.

This was a foolproof fucking plan. Ben was a goddamn genius.

Maybe I don’t have a birthday, Benjamin. Have you considered that?

Everyone has a fucking birthday.

Well, what’s yours?

Ben frowned into the air. She was a figment of his imagination, she should know his birthday. Today.

Oh. The room was silent for a second. I forgot, I guess. Sorry. 

Don’t apologize. If you want to do something for me, come home.

It wasn’t really worth saying. This wasn’t Her, and even if it said, of course, Pretty Boy. For your birthday. The real her would still be across the river at Vought tower. And Ben had to be okay with that.

I want to. You know I want to, but I can’t. I miss you and love you, Ben, more than anything, but I can’t come home.

He sighed. I miss you and love you too.

Stop saying that-

Shut the fuck up. If you’re allowed to say you love me, I can say it back.

But-

No. It’s my birthday, no telling me I can’t say that I love you on my birthday.

Silence, then okay. For your birthday. Old man.

I love you, brat.

I love you too, Benjamin. Happy birthday.

End Note: I made Ben a Taurus, and I stand by that.

If you like this story, reblog, share, or leave a comment! <3

If you want to be tagged, just ask!

Taglist

@manicjk @lordofthunderthr @artemys-ackles @brtodd

[lil-elle]

hi!!! i love your xikers work!! 😋 do you think you can write a ot10 head cannon about how they act after an argument with reader?

EEEEEE thank you ily 🩷 thank you for waiting

XIKERS after an Argument with their s/o

pairs: bf!xikers x gn!reader

genre: fluff, slight angst, established relationship

word count: 1.5k

content: just cute lovey dovey boys ☺️

a/n: WAAAHH THESE BOYS ARE JUST SO PERFECT 😞😞

Minjae:

He'd DEFINITELY sulk for a while 😭

After calming down and thinking things over, he'd feel so guilty :( wishing he hadn't lashed out at you or lost his temper at you

Despite his stubborn nature, he'd bring himself to you to apologise, and you'd find it endearing and sweet knowing how difficult it probably was for him to swallow his pride

You'd hug him and his arms would immediately wrap around you just as tightly as you tell him you're sorry as well and that you love him

You'd go back to normal quickly after the whole thing, forgetting it even happened within an hour or two. He'd just be so happy he was able to patch things up

-

Junmin:

He might cry…He'd probably cry…He'd definitely cry.

He wouldn't let you see him cry though, but you know him well enough. You know he doesn't mean harm, so you'd probably be the one apologising first. Not because he's stubborn, just because you couldn't bear to see him upset

You'd wipe his tears and kiss his cheeks to calm him down, making little jokes to him to get him to smile

The two of you would sit down to really talk about it. Talk about what you argued about, why you argued about it, and if it was really worth arguing about at all

Then the apologies would come as you both realise how stupid and pointless it was

-

Sumin:

He'd take a WHILE to cool off, that's for sure. Not because he's hot headed, just because he'd be desperately trying to wrap his head around everything while also trying to figure out what he can say and do to make it up to you

You wouldn't hear from him for days, making you think he was really super mad at you, when suddenly he'd show up on your doorstep with an expensive bouquet of your favourite flowers and a guilty smile

How could you stay mad at him? You couldn't. You begin to apologise to him but he'd cut you off, insisting you have nothing to apologise for even if the argument was your fault. He's just sweet like that

He's not usually lovey dovey, bit he'd be EXTRA lovey dove for the next day or two

He seems unbothered at times but during the days he spent away from you, he'd be seriously in a panic over whether you still loved him (no matter how silly the argument 😭)

-

Jinsik:

He wouldn't even know what just happened or what to do. You'd storm off and he'd just be left standing there, heart pounding and mind racing with thoughts

The guilt and worry would set in fast for him. Like SECONDS after kind of fast. He'd be running after you, grabbing your hand, and pleading with you, profusely apologising

You wouldn't be able to stop yourself from giggling at his dramatic display, and he'd just look at you with dazed and teary eyes as you pinch his cheek and tell him its okay

You'd apologise back to him, reassuring him that you'll always love him even if you lose your head sometimes

You'd have to give him lots of cuddles for the rest of the day to make sure he knows how much you love him!

-

Hyunwoo:

For some reason, I can't comprehend arguing with hyunu. He just seems so sweet and understanding and patient BUT for the sake of it, I think he'd be emotional too

He'd not usually an emotional guy, so his emotions would tell you how genuinely guilty and remorseful he is

No matter how much you try, you wouldn't be able to stay mad at him, especially when he'd be doing almost everything in his power to get you to forgive him

He'd bring you flowers, chocolate, plushies. He'd become a housewife and do every single chore for you. Just don't act mad at him long enough for him to try cooking a meal for you. He WILL burn the house to the ground

When you finally give in and wrap your arms around him with a little giggle about you weren't really that mad, he'd just be so genuinely relieved and happy 🥹

-

Junghoon:

SERIOUSLY wouldn't know what to do. Would just stare as you storm off like “??? Uh oh.”

He wouldn't do anything for a while, just sure that you need some time to calm down. But when you keep leaving him on read and ignoring his calls, that's when he goes to the boys for help

He'd try everything, kind of like hyunu, earning no response or reaction from you

He'd eventually get desperate, genuinely panicking that you really hate him or something, pissing off the other members with his worry and how much he's begging for their help

Eventually, he'd just show up at your door, head hung low, to say sorry and that he really loves you and doesn't want to lose you. You'd wrap your arms around him and say thank you because that's all you really needed from him, and he'd sigh with such relief, holding you tighter than ever before

-

Seeun:

Wouldn't think you're serious at first 😭 he's too silly for his own good

After a little while, he'd start talking and joking with you as if everything was normal, only realising that everything was, in fact, NOT normal when you give him the cold shoulder

Suddenly he's tripping over himself with lovey dovey words and pet names trying to win back your love and attention

You seriously couldn't stay mad at him for long. He's too charming and sweet, his beautiful words enough to make anyone smile and blush

He seems super unserious at first, but once he sees you finally smile at him and hears you finally speak to him again, he's visibly over the moon. He'd hug you so tight and promise to never be stupid ever again (a promise you know he can't keep but you don't care, you love him anyway)

-

Yujun:

Wouldn't realise what's going on or know what to do, kind of like junghoon, but in a more innocent way

Another one that you could only stay mad at for a few minutes due to him following you around like a sad puppy and apologising until you can't help but smile and wrap him up in your arms

He'd hug you back so tightly, and once you're in those arms, you are not getting out for the rest of the day

He'd immediately become glued to you, as if afraid you'll get mad again and leave him behind. He'd continuously offer to do things for you, get things for you, buy things for you. Anything to make you happy despite your insistence that it's okay

I doubt the two of you would argue or disagree at all very often anyways, but when you do, it wouldn't take long for apologies and making up to happen :)

-

Hunter:

Weirdly enough, I think he'd stay upset for quite a while, needing time for himself to cool off after an argument

I think he'd go for a drive or a walk to clear his head as well as allowing you some alone time to do the same

It wouldn't be so much as you two avoiding each other, but more so that you recognise that sometimes the both of you need that alone time to sort through your thoughts. It's this maturity that keeps your relationship strong despite the arguments

After his walk/drive, he'd always arrive home with flowers or chocolates or your favourite fast food, asking you if you're okay or if you need more time

If you say you're okay, he'd apologise and tell you he loves you, then you’d spend the rest of the day snuggled up binging TV together 🤞🏻

-

Yechan:

Another sulker. Would for sure need to let off some steam by having a bit of a private dance practice or heading to the gym for a while, but once he's much more relaxed, he's then just taking his time and building his courage to go back to you and apologise

The two of you would meet up and sit in silence for a bit before both trying to speak up at the same time. The silliness of the moment would break the tension so fast

You'd forget why you were even mad in the first place, making jokes to each other about how silly of an argument it was and how dumb you both are, laughing together leaning into each other lovingly

You two would then sit in silence together before he'd randomly speak up and say he loves you, catching you off guard and fluttering you, to which he'd giggle

He'd tell you that he said it just because he wants you to remember it for when/if the two of you argue in the future. That, no matter what, he loves you and always wants you to be happy

-

♡♡♡♡♡♡

TAGLIST:

@chocoeon @hyunukitty @cake1box @chiiyuuvv @shortnstupid @dogyunslover

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook

Dearly Beloved 🔞 Final.

In which you've got a crush on your coworker- and a stalker problem.

Tags/Warnings: I do not condone any of Jungkooks questionable actions, this is fiction, soft Yandere!Jungkook, stalking, criminal actions (trespassing, stealing), obsession, he's really not quite right in the head, mc is kind of stupid for not involving police but wbk

Additional Chapter Warnings: insert 'oh no' tiktok meme here.

Length: long?

There is no taglist for this fic.

-> Masterlist

•━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━•

He's gonna do it. He has to. What if he misses his chance? You already love him.

You just don't know it yet.

But the entire day at the office, someone steals your attention away. There's always someone standing at your desk, asking pointless things, chasing you around like a slave for things that could've been a fucking e-mail. Why do you need to go and copy something for Yaerin when she's got to working legs?

Maybe if she didn't wear those high heels she constantly trips in she would be able to do her job correctly. Or maybe she's simply a viper, trying to work you down until you burn out, unable to offer this place anymore of your energy. She's done it before. She'll do it again.

People like her disgust him. She's rotten to the core, especially considering how she constantly soils the office seats in the meeting room with her disgusting perfume every time she fucks another one of the higher ups in there. He knows it's happening, has walked in on her and a CEO once- and while he told her that her secret was safe with him, he really only did it to have something up his sleeve if he ever needed her for something.

Does that make him just as rotten as her? Maybe. But all is fair in love and war.

He can't help but fidget at this point, watching how you clearly try and stay nice to a coworker currently attempting to convince you to go drinking with everyone after this shift. You don't like karaoke, you don't even drink in social settings because it makes you anxious- Jungkook knows these things.

He would never ask something of you that you're not comfortable with- he'd take you out for your favorite fast food instead to eat it in the car while listening to crappy pop-songs on the radio. That's what you love.

You've mentioned it before. And he never forgets those things.

Who's that man to you anyways? He can sense the tenseness in your muscles as the guy leans on your table, clearly taking up space and showing that he's not going to leave anytime soon- and Jungkook feels his anger grow inside his chest. You don't like this guy. He needs to get him away from you.

"Uh- Steven, right?" Jungkook meekly asks, the man's face snapping to him with an annoyed smile.

"Yeah. What's up kook?" He jokes as if they're best buddies.

They're not. Jungkook couldn't care less if the guy died in a ditch.

"I think Yaerin wanted to talk to you about something being wrong with the calculations for last month?" Jungkook stammers, needing to uphold his image. And also, he can't help it- his emotions make him quiver a bit, muscles unable to stay still as he rubs his hands. "She said it's urgent." He presses.

That's actually only half a lie. It's not urgent- but that whore did want to talk to him about something. There probably won't be much talking involved except maybe a command to take his dick further down her throat- but Jungkook doesn't care what they do. The only thing he does care about is that he fucking leaves.

Which he does, finally, making Jungkook take in a deep breath as he watches the man walk off.

"Thank you so much." You say behind him, and when Jungkook turns around to look at you, you're gazing at him with such warm eyes he feels his trembling body levitate on nothing but thin air. Everything's alright again- if he could look at you like this for the next years of his life, he'd thank every god in existence for it. "I have.. a hard time telling people no." You sigh, running your hands over your face.

"That's.. that's fine." Jungkook nods, a little awkwardly, smiling back. "I'm not that.. good at it either." He chuckles, and you laugh along, already feeling a lot better.

"Do you.. uhm.." You look at your keyboard for a second before you lick your lips- is that new lipgloss you wear? Or did you eat something that stained them? Jungkook isn't sure, but he wants a taste. "Do you wanna.. grab a drink or two after work with me?" You wonder, rushing the sentence out, and Jungkook's lips part a little, eyes round and open as they stare you down with their boba-pearl charm.

"Uh- yes! Yes, sure!" He nods, closing his mouth, before he pats his pants, looking for his phone. "W-wait, I'll uh- I'll give you my number!" He rushes out, writing it down with trembling hands on a sticky note, before offering it to you, who smiles shyly.

"Alright!" You nod. "I'll.. see you tonight then?" You ask, and Jungkook nods, entire body set aflame.

"Tonight."

•━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━•

He fucked up.

He fucked up.

He fucked up.

He's pacing in front of your door because you surely know. You had to have found out- there's no way you didn't. The moment you texted him, he knew you knew-

because he gave you the wrong number. In his panic, he gave you a number you already have.

Is the police on its way? Did you call the cops? Or another friend maybe to beat the shit out of him? You must be terrified, creeped out to no ends, and he can't blame you. What the hell did he even do? This isn't right.

"Jungkook?" You ask, ripping him out of whatever panicked episode he was going through, wild eyes staring at you who's looking at him with an unreadable expression.

It's quiet as you stare each other down, tension able to be cut with a knife for a good while, before you speak.

"You could've.. just said something." You mumble, and Jungkook isn't sure what you mean. There's a variety of things and situations this sentence could apply to- and he doesn't want to out himself if he's not caught yet. If there's just a simple chance of getting away with it, he will take it. "Do you... like me this much?" You ask, and he's swallowing thickly now.

You clearly want an answer, but he doesn't know in what context. What is he supposed to say.

"I mean, I knew something was off when.." you explain, playing with the strings of your hoodie as you fumble with your words. "When.. I wasn't scared." You admit.

"Because it was you all along."

His entire body grows cold, veins freezing over as he gets his confirmation. You know. You know, and you're probably going to tell him next that you've already asked for a restraining order-

Wait. What do you mean by you weren't scared?

"Do you want to.. come in with permission this time?" You ask, trying to lighten the mood, but he's confused. This isn't the reaction he thought he'd get.

"I-" he starts, stammers. "I'm sorry." He presses out. "I don't.. I just-" he fails to find appropriate words because he really doesn't know why he's like this. He knows it's a problem, he knows he's sick- it's obvious, that little sane part of him is aware of the pure wrongness of his actions up until now.

"I know." You say, nodding, before you step aside to let him inside.

"I can't." Jungkook denies. "I can't- I shouldn't, I'm not- don't let me in, don't ever let me in-" he worries, unsure what's wrong with him now. Is this what realization feels like?

If that's the case, he wants to go back to insanity, because this is torturous.

"Its fine." You reassure. "You're.. I'd really hate to see you leave right now." You deny, offering compassion. "You're not well right now." You say, and he agrees.

But he's never been well ever since he met you almost a year ago.

He'll never be well.

"You're too.. you shouldn't. I might hurt you." He explains in a hurry.

"You won't." You deny. You're not sure why you're so convinced about it- maybe because he's had the chance to hurt you so many times and didn't. Or maybe because you're so lonely that you'll take this love no matter how tainted it is.

"Please come inside." You ask once more.

And slowly, with great hesitance, does he enter your home, painfully wringing his hands as if to keep himself occupied.

"When my mom had a brain stroke, years ago, she changed a lot." You explain, walking in to fill up two glasses of water before you set them on the coffee table in the living room area, sitting down on the couch right after- inviting him.

He takes the invitation. His eyes sting with unshed tears.

"She suddenly hated me. Hated almost everyone." You remember. "The doctors said that it can happen. That if we.. injure just a tiny little specific part of our brains, our whole personality changes." You retell, and Jungkook listens, unsure where to look now.

He's been here before, but he's never seen the apartment with the lights on.

"But we still got along until she passed." You nod. "She went to therapy, and reconnected with me and her old friends." You say.

"I'm.. I think I know what you're suggesting-" he says, before he puts his face in his hands. "But I don't want to." He denies.

"Why not?" You worry with a soft tone. "Jungkook, you're not a bad person. You just need help." You offer.

"But what if my love for you is just mental illness?!" He yells out, panicked, eyes now leaking tears. "I don't want them to kill that. I want to stay- I want to stay sick if it means that I still love you.." he weeps, looking at you with desperation.

"Then we'll rebuild it." You shrug easily. "I'll make you love me again." You say, and Jungkook breaks.

"C-can I touch you?" He whimpers from the other side of the couch. "Just a bit?" He wonders, and you nod, opening your arms.

Welcoming him, because he's not a threat or a danger or a monster.

He's just a little sick.

[heartbreakprincehbk]

Lucky (Kerry Von Erich x Reader)

Words: 2401

Summary: Requested by anon! Reader isn't into Valentine's Day, but Kerry insists on giving her a surprise Valentine's Day date at home. Thanks for the request, hope y'all enjoy!

*images from pinterest

“Any plans for Valentine’s Day tomorrow?” You looked up briefly in mild annoyance and had to remind yourself it wasn’t the grocery store clerk’s fault that they happened to be the third person to ask you that this week.

“No.” You said, giving a stiff smile as you gave them the cash for your items. 

“Yeah, I understand. This time of year is no fun single.” They said, continuing the conversation as they counted out your cash. You debated whether it was worth it to correct them before deciding to keep your mouth shut. “Well, have a great day anyways.” You mumbled something of the same and grabbed your groceries, purposefully looking away from the big Valentine’s display of candies and flowers on your way out of the store.

It wasn’t that you hated love, or even that you were single, it all just seemed kind of pointless. A big over-commercialized competition to make everyone feel bad as though they had to quantify their love with big expensive displays of affection. You simply believed that showing your love in other ways every other day of the year meant more than a big show one day of the year.

Besides, with Valentine’s Day falling on a Saturday, you were more than certain your boyfriend, Kerry Von Erich, was going to be slamming other men into the wrestling mat. You were used to that sort of thing, and it was much worse not having him around on Christmas or Thanksgiving. It was nearly impossible to complain; you knew it bothered him more than you from the pained look in his puppy dog eyes every time he had to leave. You did your best not to make him feel any worse about it. You could handle one Valentine’s Day alone compared to those.

Kerry knew you weren’t a big fan of Valentine’s Day. The very first one you spent together, Kerry had given you a dozen roses, a giant teddy bear, and chocolates, and while you thanked him, you very quickly let him know your preferences. 

“You don’t have to spend all that money on me, it’s not a big deal.” To say he was confused was an understatement.

“Is this a test to make sure I actually still buy you gifts next Valentine’s Day?” Kerry checked. 

“No!” You giggled. “I just don’t think it’s necessary to make a big deal out of one day and waste money.” You hoped he got the message. Really, just being with Kerry was a gift of its own. 

Now, another Valentine’s Day was upon you. So far so good as you woke up with no fanfare. Kerry had already gotten up and was working out in the garage as per usual. When you finally made it downstairs to make some breakfast, Kerry made his appearance. He froze when he saw you.

“Good morning,” you greeted him. He hesitated, looking you over like you were a word puzzle he was trying to figure out. Eventually, he was able to speak. 

“Hey–oh, good morning. So hey, baby, uh…so, my mom and Mike wanted to take you to lunch today.” He explained somewhat awkwardly. You frowned a little.

“But I just saw her for lunch yesterday. She didn’t mention it.” You said. Kerry scratched his head, avoiding your gaze and giving a half-shrug.

“Yeah, uh…well, I think it was last minute. Maybe, uh…Mike’s idea.” You frowned a little. “I gotta shower and go meet Kev. My mom said she would pick you up around 1 pm.” Your frown deepened.

“Okay.” You said, smiling slightly when he pressed a kiss to the side of your head on his way out of the kitchen. 

Doris was right on time with Mike in tow. The three of you went into town to the local deli, where Mike proceeded to take much longer than normal to eat his sandwich. 

“Are you feeling okay?” You asked him. Normally, Mike inhaled his food in three seconds. He looked panicked at your question and took a big bite of his food, prolonging his response.

“I’m fine. Why?” He asked, eyes shifting. You laughed a little. “I’m not acting weird.” From the corner of your eye, you saw Doris shaking her head.

“I didn’t say you were acting weird, but I’m wondering if I need to go complain about your sandwich because normally it would have been gone by now.” You said casually, smiling as Mike’s eyes grew even more panicked.

“No, no! It’s uh, good. Really. I’m just…trying to eat slower. You know, um…avoid choking.” You were biting back a laugh. “Um. Do you have any plans tonight?”

“Mike.” Doris reprimanded. 

“It’s okay.” You said, smiling. “No, I’m just planning on catching up on cleaning and maybe I’ll treat myself to a hot bath and tea or ice cream or something. I know Kerry has his show; if it were closer I would be there.”

“You know, it’s been nice weather the last few days for February. I haven’t had to worry about the plants freezing.” Doris said suddenly with a smile. You nodded, listening pleasantly to her latest tale of trying to keep her vegetable garden alive. 

After lunch you assumed you would all go separate ways, until Mike blurted out. “Uh, Y/N, I was gonna meet Kev at the record store down the street. Do you want to come?” You frowned a little.

“I thought Kerry was meeting Kevin somewhere today?” Mike swallowed.

“Oh, uh…maybe, maybe earlier for a second, but Kev said he was free this afternoon.” 

Your mind was turning. Had Kerry lied to you? You did your best to hide your thoughts as you said goodbye to Doris and walked with Mike to the record store. 

You were positive Mike sifted through every record in that store, but you knew how much music meant to him, so you said nothing and waited patiently, flipping through a stack on your own here and there. You noticed after a while he was hanging on to an Eagles record. 

“Is that a good one?” You asked. Mike shrugged shyly.

“I’ve had my eye on it for a while.” You smiled and took it from his hands.

“My treat. Come on,” his eyes stretched wide. 

“What? Really? But Y/N, you don’t…”

“Tell me if it’s any good.” You insisted as he followed you to the checkout line. “You know, you’ve shown me some great stuff already. I always go to you if I want something new.” You smiled at the way the youngest brother averted his gaze with a bashful chuckle, his cheeks already turning red. Right as you were paying, Kevin walked in the door. 

“Hey you two. Mike, what did you find this time?” Mike excitedly showed his record to Kevin who nodded in approval, before he looked at you. “C’mon, you two. Let’s get you home, Y/N.” He seemed to be in a hurry; that made sense due to the brothers having a wrestling show a town over that night. 

You wanted to ask Kevin about Kerry, but you knew it wasn’t really Kevin’s place or fault if Kerry was lying to you. Was it possible that he had met someone else, was he using the holiday to woo some new girl, maybe a fan he had met? Suddenly, the idea of Kerry waking you up with a dozen roses sent a longing pang through your heart, but you pushed the thought away. You would simply ask Kerry later. 

For now, you focused on the moment you had with Kevin and Mike, laughing in the car together about the last time Ric Flair was in town and the less than welcoming reception he had received, and how Kevin had nearly taken the win and trying not to give into the disappointed feeling creeping up on you.

“See you boys,” you said as Kevin’s truck pulled up in front of your house. “Good luck tonight, Kev. Enjoy that record, Mike!” They both waved and you sighed a little, walking up towards the sure-to-be empty house. The sun was beginning to set ever so slightly, the sky growing more orange and casting shadows over the lawn. Now alone, you allowed yourself to feel crest-fallen. 

You pushed your key reluctantly into the lock, resigning yourself to the evening you had described earlier, only to stop once the door swayed open. In the distance, you could hear faint music playing. You listened for a moment, frowning in confusion. It was a cheesy ballad—Cyndi Lauper’s “Time After Time.” The lights were off, and you made your way towards the kitchen, where the music was loudest and a hint of warm light was spilling into the hallway.

“Kerry?” You called, gasping at what you saw. Kerry was standing waiting next to the dining table, fighting a big smile, his chin raised and hands behind his back. He was wearing jeans and an apron designed to look like a tuxedo with nothing underneath. The table was covered in a white table cloth and at the center was a big vase of cascading roses, along with more scattered rose petals and two dinner plates. Candles were everywhere, from the table to the kitchen counters, and even a few tea lights on the ground.

“Kerry! What is all of this?” You demanded, frozen on the spot, laughing at his apron. An overwhelming sense of happiness, love, and surprise filled you as you looked from him to the area surrounding you.

“I cooked dinner.” He explained, as if he were discussing the weather, laughing finally as you laughed.

“But why? Kerry, you should be halfway to Tyler right now for the show!” His grin widened.

“Yeah, I know. But Kev’s covering for me; he’s gonna wrestle the tag match and take my spot in the main event too.” 

“What! Why?” You repeated. Kerry laughed again as if you were missing the point and walked closer, wrapping his large arm over the top of your shoulders to pull you closer and kiss the top of your head. 

“You sure do ask a lot of questions.” He noted into your hair, making you chuckle. “Because you’re important and I love you.” He grabbed your hand and led you to the table, pulling out your chair for you to sit before sitting across from you.

“Kerry…” you breathed, looking down at the plate. It was a very impressive looking chicken Parmesan on a bed of pasta. “This looks amazing.” He smiled.

“Thank you. Just don’t look at the sink.” You giggled, imagining a mountain of dishes and utensils. “I’ve been practicing with mom the last two weeks. I think it turned out perfect this time—the first time the chicken was too tough. Anyway, I think I’ve nailed it now.” You were blown away by the effort; Kerry could cook simple and remedial dishes, but an entire entree was surprising. “Try it and tell me what you think.”

He seemed to be waiting to take a bite of his own food until you took yours. You stared at his anxious face as you took the first bite.

“Kerry, this is so good. Wow. You’re definitely gonna have to make this again.” He was back to glowing from your praise. “But, I mean, I still don’t understand why.” His smile softened.

“I know you always said you don’t want a big deal made out of Valentine’s Day and not to fuss over you, but…I can’t help it. I love you, Y/N. I want to do these things. You always said you don’t want me to buy anything, or go out anywhere, so I decided the best way to show you how much I love you is to treat you at home.” 

“And your mother and Mike? Were they in on it too?” Kerry laughed.

“I asked them to hold you up for as long as they could to give me time to decorate and cook.” Suddenly, everything made sense–Mike taking his time eating, dragging you through every corner of the record store, Doris trying to keep your mind off of Valentine’s Day, even Kevin. Suddenly you wondered how you missed all the signs. 

“And you didn’t actually go to meet Kevin.” He looked almost sheepish.

“No…I went to buy the flowers and everything else I needed. But I couldn’t tell you that.” You laughed, shaking your head at how silly your prior worries suddenly seemed. 

“I’m a little embarrassed, but…I was afraid you lied about meeting Kevin because you were meeting someone else and spending the day with them.” You admitted. Rather than getting angry or defensive or even offended, Kerry only looked confused. 

“What? I’d never do that to you, baby. I just wanted to surprise you. I’ve been trying to plan this out for weeks now, I think since Christmas.” A feeling of utter peace and contentment filled you. How lucky were you?

“Oh, Kerry…this is perfect. This is everything I could have wanted. Thank you.” You smiled, and he reached across the table to grab your hand with his much larger one. 

“No, thank you. I just wanted to make sure you were treated right on Valentine’s Day. Because I’m here, and as long as I’m here, you will be.” 

“And every other day?” You teased, laughing. Kerry grinned broadly, his thumb rubbing across your knuckles. 

“Especially every other day.” He promised. “Boy, cooking really gets you hungry.” He said as he picked up his fork again, making you laugh. “I rented a movie too for after, and maybe we can make some ice cream floats. Oh! I’ve been meaning to tell you, the funniest thing happened the other day. The last time Ric Flair came to town, he had a rough time. There was a kid chewing gum in the front row, and he didn’t like Flair, so he took the gum…” 

You listened enthusiastically to Kerry telling the story, despite the fact you had already heard the tale from Kevin. Instead, you settled into your chair and picked up your fork, focusing on the sparkle in Kerry’s eyes, the way the glow of the candles warmed his handsome features as the flames danced, the way his perfectly tousled curls framed his face. Your cozy little kitchen felt warmer than ever and so full of love that it radiated from every nook and cranny. Really, how lucky could you be?

[brightdrawings]

The Long Shift

A brief look into Bill's life working in the shack. (based on the @handymanbill au by @losanpostle and @waty_mot on twitter) (also on ao3!)

The old mop squelched against the older wooden floor as Bill swabbed away. Cleaning up a stain left a careless tourist. The floor that never stays clean for more than a day. Day in day out, The sun rose and fell, tourists entered with full wallets and exited the Mystery shack with lighter pockets but heavier hands. Working in the tourist trap for how long as he had, Bill could recognise returning customers. Higher pitched voices that children shard with their parents. the same terrible taste in outfits and trinkets that that were passed down much like blonde hair or brown eyes. 

He had tried working the crowd. Using his unusual appearance to lean into the persona of being Mr Mystery. But the dullness of the brainless guests wore on him. The hands that passed over his head trying to find the strings pulling him as though Bill Cipher of any being was a puppet. The tedious questions, the ridiculous attractions, when given the chance to return to handy work he couldn't slip on his over-sized green shirt fast enough.

How Stanley had done this job for 30 years stunned Bill to this very day.

The Pines family were averse to him working at the shack at first. In truth so was he. But, seeing that he was powerless, Stanford at the very least was willing to let him remain. The others were harder to sway, of course Bill knew why Ford relented. The shack no longer being his was one reason. Although the triangle doubted that Soos would have had the backbone to argue with the Pines if they told him that Bill could not remain. The true reason that Ford allowed Cipher to remain was because of who placed him in the Shack to rehabilitate.

The Axolotl. 

If arguing with Bill was a waste of time, then arguing against a decree by that pastel salamander was pointless. The obnoxious thing knew even more than Bill did. Much as the triangle was loathe to admit that fact. It had stated that working at this sham of a business would help with his rehabilitation. Bill scoffed at the idea at first, but the idea of finally leaving the dull halls of the theraprisim was a deal he could not refuse. Losing is powers was a great price to pay, but anything was better than dealing with freaks in friendship circles all day.

Of course the arguments about him staying were far behind him, years in fact.

When the Ramirez family drove him out to the Stan twin's funeral Bill didn't know what to do at first. His gut feeling was to laugh, the grand hero of the multiverse, dying of a heart attack before his 'greatest enemy'. But Bill didn't do that. It didn't feel right. The thought of laughing in Ford's cold dead face, while hilarious felt bitter and unsatisfying. When he was in the padded cell in the theraprisim Bill had dreamed of being the cause of these two men's deaths. And while he was not the cause, looking at their peaceful faces in their coffins, Bill only felt hollow.

on the drive back to the shack Bill didn't know why Soos refused to get back to work. The shack felt somber, the usually upbeat couple of soos and melody were quiet. The pair had told bill that they were taking the week off and that he was free to do as he pleased, not even bothering with a warning of staying out of trouble. 

With the whole town as his oyster, Bill could have caused all kind of trouble. Instead he sat in the gift shop, ruminating on the familiar feeling. His mind was drawn back to something that happened eons ago. his first crime. When Soos is Finally able to don the suit, bill is thankful to have work to push his thoughts out of his head.

Even that was many many years ago.

The town out outside the window of the shack has grown much larger, the new populace long ignorant to Bill and his history. The title of 'Mr. Mystery' had been passed down many times. The Pines name is only remembered by the graves outside and the portraits on the walls. Bill is certain that if it wasn't for the heritage of the shack it would have been demolished decades ago.

Bill had seen small blue embers arise from his hands every so often. Part of him wondered if his own power was what kept the shack in place. Generations since his sentence at the shack had been declared, surely some spec of his power would return. If that was not the case then the axolotl must have been keeping his new 'prison' present intact permanently. 

With a sigh through his eye Bill continued to mop. He caught sight of a pair of young children laughing loudly in the other side of the gift shop. The ice blocks in their hands dripped sticky sweet syrup on to the wooden floor. With a sigh he waited for the family to leave before mopping up behind him. The thought of a clean floor carrying him through to the end of the day.

[scuderia-hamilton]

listen i don't like Daniel, that's a fact, but what's been happening to him during the course of this weekend has been nothing but cruel, unfair and frankly, disrespectful (even if the rumours turn out to be false). i hate nothing more in this sport than teams just dropping drivers in the middle of the season, with little to no warning whatsoever, if they didn't perform to the expectations. these people made and are still making so many sacrifices to be able to be in this sport, they work so fucking hard and i just hate seeing it go to waste like that. it's simply not fair.

you can come up with the regular excuses of it being a cutthroat sport, them being rich, white, privileged men, Daniel performing poorly, i do not care. yes, he hasn't been performing the way the team expected him to do so, but at the end of the day, he's still human and no one deserves that kind of treatment. rbr has been fucking over their drivers left and right and i absolutely despise that more teams are starting to do the same.

sending him out there to give interviews and answer questions about his own future in the sport, when he doesn't even know what it will be, is honestly the lowest of the low. they know exactly how nasty and rude f1 media is and a team putting their own driver in that position is something that should not be normalized. seeing his post race interview made my heart ache for him, he was literally a second away from crying then and there.

just as i've been upset about Nyk De Vries and Logan Sargeant being dropped in the same way, i feel the same for Daniel. it's not about whether you like a driver or not, it's about the principle. this is their dream, the thing they've been working for since they were literal toddlers and seeing it ripped away from them, without even giving them a proper shot is just inhumanely cruel.

i know that Daniel has been around for a while and he got to live his dream, but i still think it's unfair. rbr has been promising him this and that since he replaced De Vries last summer, just to (allegedly) drop him the next season with six more races left. even if they really want to replace him, then let him finish this season. he deserves that much.

i'm excited about the possibility of Liam finally getting a real shot, don't get me wrong and if he really ends up replacing Daniel, i'm happy for him, but i would like him to come into the sport under different circumstances. i also think that hating the driver who replaces another one, is pointless and frankly, stupid. this is not their decision, they obviously take the opportunity, cause getting into f1 is nearly impossible.

this is basically just to say that maybe we should remember from time to time, that they're not just athletes, but real people with feelings and we should always stay kind and compassionate. i've already seen so many hate posts about him, which shouldn't surprise me, but it did. this fandom likes to just jump on a person who's an easy target at the moment or pick and choose who they don't like at that time and all hell breaks loose.

the same thing happened when there were rumours about Daniel replacing Checo and all of a sudden, everyone had an issue with Checo's performance, him as a person, his actions and everyone thought that he deserved to be replaced. you don't have to like all of them, but at least be consistent with your opinions and know where the line is. you can't be upset about one driver being replaced mid-season, then turn around and wish that to happen to a different driver. that's hypocritical.

[realbeijinger]

Another semi-coherent rant on climate change, the value of idealism, and TGCF (I finally finished!)

Well, I finished Tian Guan Ci Fu. And, oh man, if you read my last post, you’ll know that I was terrified that the entire novel would be a criticism of blind idealism. But I am SO glad I was wrong!!! Looking back on what I wrote before… it’s kind of hilarious how worried I was. I was so sure that I knew where it was going, was so busy preparing myself to be offended/emotionally crushed, that I wouldn’t even entertain the idea that maybe MXTX had a similar worldview to me all along.

In my defense, aside from the line, “Something like saving the common people… although foolish, it is brave,” everything seemed to point toward the idea that trying to do good is pointless. I mean, up until the moment when Xie Lian was lying with a sword in his chest on the streets of Yong’an, all of his efforts to do good had essentially been in vain. He hadn’t been able to help anyone.

And then, when the one guy stopped and gave Xie Lian his hat, I dunno, I just cried. It was so perfect! Like, ugh, damn you, MXTX! So sneaky… destroying us, just to bring us back later!! It was such a small, insignificant win, but it was exactly what Xie Lian (and I) needed. I love the line, “Just one person was enough!” Just one person doing something selfless. It’s enough to give us hope.   

It really resonates with me because I think a lot about how to maintain hope. In terms of the climate crisis, I feel like Xie Lian—completely powerless. I want to stop eating meat, use less plastic, spend more time on environmental activism, but honestly, what do any of these things matter? The meat industry is not going to change because I choose to stop consuming. Even my activism has a completely negligible effect—whether or not I join a protest or write a letter to my congressman will almost certainly not be the deciding factor for any climate legislation, no matter how much effort I put in.  

And yet, I still want to. I love the moment when Xie Lian chooses to get stabbed over and over rather than create a second plague of Human Face Disease, and White No-Face asks him in shock, “Why??”—as in, why would you ever do that? And Xie Lian responds: “I don’t have a reason—just because I want to! Even if I explained it to you… Useless trash like you wouldn’t understand.” This line is so great. Xie Lian can’t explain it to White No-Face, because, in truth, it isn’t entirely logical. It can’t be explained by reason. I want to do my measly, unimportant part to help the world… because I want to. Because it feels right. Because it’s my way of keeping my heart, of maintaining faith that there is some good in this world worth upholding. (As an aside, I love how the English title of the live action drama—which we may never get to see, God damn censorship!!!!—is called “Eternal Faith.” Of course it refers to Hua Cheng and Xie Lian’s faith in each other, but I think it also means having eternal faith in the value of doing good, despite centuries of experience that seem to show its pointlessness.)

As I talked about in my last post, if you zoom out far enough, nothing really seems to matter. Everything we love and care about will one day be gone. And yet, I believe we still have to act like it matters. This is the basic tenant of existentialism, and I think MXTX portrays this philosophical paradox really beautifully.

It’s funny, because I think MXTX has a lot of profound things to say, but in an interview I read, she warned against viewing her work too deeply, saying, “I am not a guru.” I get that she may not want the responsibility of giving people spiritual advice, but I do think she presents some really fascinating, really novel, philosophical ideas. So, sorry MXTX, but I’m about to analyze TGCF like it’s a piece of freakin scripture. Soo here we go…

The main theme she comes back to again and again is that fortune is limited, so the only way you can do good for others is by taking fortune from somebody else. Which leads the characters to a bunch of ethically impossible choices: the people of Yong’an and the people of Xianle can’t all be saved (Xie Lian must choose who to help), neither can the people of Wuyong and the surrounding kingdoms (Prince of Wuyong must choose), and Shi Wudu can’t save his brother from a tragic fate without taking fortune from an innocent person. When the characters try to avoid choosing, and try to “play God” by creating a “third path,” it just invites disaster.

But is this really true? Is fortune actually limited? It’s an idea that reminds me of Buddhism and Daoism, but also seems kind of revolutionary… (I like to think I know something about Chinese philosophy but it could certainly be a thing and I don’t know). I don’t believe in fate, but I do believe in limited resources, and the idea that nature tends toward balance. I think conceiving of it this way, as a pool of fortune, is really interesting.   

It reminds me of this Meme:

In other words, who is the protagonist and who is the villain is entirely based on perspective. And, according to the laws of nature, we all must survive by eating others, or causing others to starve (i.e. avoiding being eaten).

I tried to think if this is really true in all areas of life. I’m a teacher, and one of the ways I convince myself that I am doing good in the world is by helping my students—preparing them well for college so that they can get into good schools and follow their dreams. But then, is this just taking fortune from others? If I do prepare my students well, and as a result they all get into top universities, does that mean they are taking spots away from other students? Am I simply just helping “my own,” at the expense of others?

One place where I see this concept play out very clearly is with our modern, industrialized society. As I mentioned in my last post, we live in a world of abundance. Most of us have enough food to eat, live in houses with electricity and running water, and don’t worry about a whole host of diseases endured by our ancestors. It seems we have done what Xie Lian couldn’t—we have expanded the well of fortune for most of humanity.

But this fortune wasn’t spontaneously created. It was taken from other species. It was borrowed against our own future, when climate change will likely destroy this world of abundance we have created, causing untold suffering. In truth, when it comes to prosperity, there is no such thing as a free lunch.   

Even now, when we ought to be enjoying our fortune, most of us are not happy. We want other things. We take food, clothing, and shelter for granted, creating even bigger, more lofty demands—a bigger car, a better house, a machine that’s sole purpose is to make bread. In fact, it seems like whenever we make things “better,” the goalposts just move. I recently read a book called Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals, which mentioned that with the advent of washing machines and vacuum cleaners, everyone assumed there would be more free time. Yet, the real outcome was that standards of cleanliness just changed. Suddenly, people expected you to wear fresh clothes every day and have a perfectly dust-free home, which meant spending just as much time cleaning as in the past.     

And according to psychologists, getting what we want doesn’t really make us happier. Instead, something like getting a promotion causes our happiness to spike, before it quickly returns to baseline. The psychologist Dan Gilbert writes that the purpose of our emotions is to act like a compass—to tell us which direction to go in. If you feel good, you can continue the way you are going. If you feel bad, you should probably turn—make a change. But if you get what you want and become permanently happy, your compass is now broken. It’s stuck in one direction and becomes useless.

All of this is very Buddhist, of course. Suffering is not caused by our external circumstances, but our desire to change them.

Like I said, I don’t necessarily believe in “fate” or “fortune.” But I believe this all points to something deeper that MXTX is getting at: which is that we cannot fundamentally make a better world, for the common people, or for anyone. This idea of “better” doesn’t really exist. The world is as it is. Trying to alter that is like playing God. And like Xie Lian says, “In this world, there are no true gods…”  

So, what do we do? How can we survive this absurdist tragedy of life? I don’t think we can just throw up our hands and not give a shit—that way lies depression and Jun Wu-style cruelty. We cannot lose our heart. But we also can’t try to fix everything.

One thing I find a bit difficult about MXTX is she is very clear about the impossible situations our characters find themselves in, but not really clear about the solution. She seems critical of the characters’ actions (I’m thinking also of Wei Wuxian here), but what exactly does she think they should have done? In other words, what is the point?

I spent a long time thinking about this. And I realized that Xie Lian was able to get back on his feet, find happiness and make peace with himself. How did he do this? Ultimately, I see Xie Lian’s solution as having three parts: self-sacrifice, gratitude, and purpose. Which all sounds very academic and maybe not that profound on an emotional level. But hear me out. Because, in the end, I think these choices are incredibly beautiful. They are the kind of thing that make me feel like reading TGCF was actually a spiritual experience, no matter what MXTX says. That makes me admire Xie Lian and want to follow him (like the God he is).

Okay so first: self-sacrifice. If fortune is limited, and the only way to make others’ lives better is to take fortune from someplace else, then there is really only one place you can take it from without hurting others—yourself.

So, part of Xie Lian’s solution is to take fortune from himself and give it to others. It’s why he asks for a cursed shackle that disperses his fortune, so that his fortune will naturally flow to those around him. It’s, of course, a very small thing. He is no longer playing God, or trying to “fix” the world on a grand scale. He is simply, in his own, quiet way, serving the common people.

My desire to give up meat and to spend more time on activism—these things feel like big sacrifices for me. And yet, they will have a very small impact on the greater situation in the world. They’re a drop in the ocean. I still want to do it, but it’s hard. It’s hard to care, or think that these things matter. Yet, this is the trade-off Xie Lian was willing to make. I really admire him for it.   

I believe self-sacrifice is actually a really important, beautiful thing, that our society has forgotten the value of. We are individualistic—obsessed with our own wants. As I mentioned previously, our expectations have risen, so we buy and buy and buy. We are unwilling to rein in our consumption. I know a lot of people baulk at lifestyle changes as a solution to the climate crisis, and I agree that putting pressure on individuals instead of governments or corporations is misguided. But, first of all, there simply aren’t enough resources on earth to sustain our current levels of consumption. And, second… I don’t think we can completely let individuals off the hook. What is society anyway, but a collection of individuals? If we are going to address this thing, it’s going to take a massive movement—bigger than the civil rights movement or the works’ rights movement or the women’s movement. It’s going to take millions of people worldwide getting out of their own heads, their own lives, and concerning themselves with the greater good. That requires immense sacrifice.

Which takes me to gratitude. In order to be willing to sacrifice, you have to appreciate what you already have.

People often talk about gratitude these days as a path to mental health. Instinctively, it sounds like an uplifting, positive thing. And it is… but it also entails having a relatively negative worldview. It means remembering all the horrible things that exist in this world which we are lucky enough to avoid on a daily basis. You stepped in some dog shit? Well, that sucks, but you could have stepped into an open manhole and broken your neck! So! That’s something to be grateful for.  

We are all so lucky. I’m sure everyone reading this has pains and traumas and challenges. This isn’t to diminish those, but, I hope, at least we all have at least one person to love. That’s all Hua Cheng had, and it’s what kept him going. Just one person was enough. And most of us, I hope, get to eat food every day, get to sleep in a bed, get to play video games or read novels or write poetry when we are sad. Not everyone gets those things.  

Xie Lian, of course, was the king of low expectations, because he knew his future was going to be bad. He had intentionally accepted bad luck for a lifetime. So, there was no point in hoping for things to get better.

I think this attitude is best shown by his interaction with the Venerable of Empty words. The Venerable of Empty Words feeds off people’s fears. But Xie Lian didn’t really have any. When the Venerable of Empty Words warned him that his hut will collapse in two months, his response is, “Two months? If it’s still standing in seven days, then it’ll be a real miracle.” Because his expectations are so low, he’s essentially immune to fear. I can’t help but think that if you could really think this way, it would be a kind of superpower. It reminds me of the famous quote by spiritual teacher Krishnamurti, “Do you know what my secret is? You see, I don’t mind what happens.”

And so Xie Lian is okay with everything. He can sleep anywhere, crash boulders on his chest for money, not eat for three days, regularly suffer corpse poisoning, and still be okay.

Which leads to my third point: purpose. Xie Lian is able to endure such hardship because his expectations are low, but also he knows all his suffering has a purpose. “If I am to become a God of misfortune, then so be it,” he says. “As long as I know deep down that I am not.” He is okay with being laughed at or avoided for his bad luck, because deep down he knows he is doing the right thing. People can withstand a great deal if they feel their suffering has meaning. In Man’s Search for Meaning, the psychiatrist Victor Frankl’s writes about the horrors of living through a concentration camp, and how over and over, it was creating purpose that allowed him, and others, to find motivation to survive. Which I think has an important lesson for self-sacrifice. People are willing to sacrifice a lot, if they feel their sacrifice has purpose.

I get it when MXTX says that she is not a guru, and maybe it’s a lot to ask of a danmei novel to take spiritual advice from it. The book wasn’t necessarily perfect, and I do have some critiques (which I was gonna add here, but this thing is already wayyy too long). But… I do think I found something really meaningful in this story—some inspiration. I want to follow Xie Lian’s example, and live with gratitude and acceptance, while keeping my faith in doing the right thing. In other words, WWXLD! (What Would Xie Lian Do?)

[beanghostprincess]

@landsailorsky Mentioned something about Sanuso going on a first date and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it...

Sanji asks Usopp out on a date and it is the most awkward thing because they're in that state of the relationship where they know they like each other, but "does he like me enough to date me? Should I ask him? Should I shut up forever and jump into the sea and drown?". But Sanji asks anyway (nervous and trying to look cool and normal about it but failing miserably).

He says something about having dinner together on their own after the rest have gone to sleep or maybe walking around an island or even stargazing. Whatever his dear sniper wants. But Usopp is so confused. He says yes, of course he does, but that is what they already normally do. There is nothing romantic about it because they spend most of their time together alone. They stargaze. They buy groceries together. They have dinner together. They do night shifts together. And yet, when Sanji asks, it feels different and new and extremely scary. Frightening, even.

It's not in a bad way. He has never been happier and more excited. But he still feels like he's going to throw up and do something to mess up the date somehow. Sanji says he will take care of everything, but not being sure about what they're going to do is what makes Usopp so anxious. Sanji loves planning these things, though, so he's sure he will do just fine.

I think Usopp would calm down rather quickly, though, surprisingly? Because he probably tells Nami about it and Nami says something like "you guys do these things all the time. Going on a first date is pointless for you two because you could've just started dating months ago. But whatever. Sanji likes these things, right? Just do what you normally do and you will be fine". And even if Usopp acknowledges that it is not actually the same same thing, realizing that it's just Sanji the one they're talking about calms him down a bit.

But of course, Sanji is a mess. He has everything planned. Perfect date. Walk around the nearest island, spend the day together, make dinner for him, stargaze, kiss him. Perfect plan. And it does seem like everything is going to be perfect, even if there are minor inconveniences, so he is fine. He is not nervous. He is a lover-boy. Mr.Prince. A gentleman. He will be fine. It is just Usopp. But I think he'd be so worried about everything going perfectly,,,

So I think their date would be extremely sweet even if it's a complete mess. They would both be nervous. Usopp would have sweaty hands. Sanji, who normally knows what to say, has to think things through before speaking because otherwise, he will start stuttering. Usopp tries to be romantic and hold Sanji's hand but it sends Sanji into a state of "Sanji.exe stopped working" and he almost kills him. Probably they end up fighting some guys because of course they would. They try food somewhere around the island and Usopp loves it and it makes Sanji a bit self-conscious because he secretly wants Usopp to like his cooking more. Sanji treats women the way he always does and it sort of messes up the mood for Usopp for a while.

They're both so nervous and they don't know what to do and it does seem like the date has gone horribly wrong when they go back to the ship. But- But then they have dinner together. Usopp is feeling a bit down and thinks this thing between them isn't gonna work. But Sanji has to fix it somehow, and he can! There is still dinner left! And that is how he has always expressed his love. He convinces Usopp to have dinner with him ("it doesn't have to be part of the date. Just me and you like always. I can't let you go to bed without eating first, please") and Sanji finally lets go of that nervousness and burden when they start eating.

Usopp stops being so self-conscious when he stops focusing on the fact that it is a date. It doesn't have to be a date. They can just be... Themselves

Sanji prepares all kinds of food. All Usopp's favorite. Their hands brush, they sit impossibly closer, and they spend hours talking in the kitchen. Even washing the dishes feels romantic when they aren't thinking about it being romantic.

The date does end up with a kiss, by the way, while they are stargazing and Sanji is talking about something Usopp isn't listening to right now because he is too busy leaning in to close the space between them. And it is-- It is messy and awkward and they're both blushing and weird about it. But it is perfect for them because the night ends with them laughing their asses off about how pathetic and dumb they've been acting all day. They've been doing these things forever together. They have gone on dates before, then, so this isn't the first one. This doesn't have to be the first one. They can skip the early stages they've already crossed together and just... Be themselves.

[callsign-phoenix]

I wrote this as a part of my 12 days of ficmas, I hope you like it!

It is a Natasha ‘Phoenix’ Trace x female!reader imagine.

Thank you @famfan-1034 for proofreading!

The prompt is Secret Santa.

Warnings: none

Nat and you had been friends for forever, but she had always wanted more.

While she was always by your side she was never brave enough to actually say what she was feeling, even if she sometimes interpreted some of your actions as flirtations as well.

You did flirt back, but just like her you were nervous enough not to actually follow through.

The fact that you were working together made things easier and harder at the same time.

It was easier because you actually got to see each other on a daily basis, and it was harder because if you decided to go for it it could end in a disaster.

So you stayed just like that, pining for each other in silence.

The months went by and you two grew closer, hanging out outside of work even more and visiting each other almost daily.

While you allowed each other to spend time at your homes the bedrooms were seemingly off limits.

It was a border neither of you wanted to cross with each other because both of you were scared of it leading to more.

Bob was a confidant to both of you and it was stressful for him, because even though he wanted to say something he didn’t feel like it was his place to do so.

He was your closest friend after Natasha and he too had spent time at your place, he had even been allowed in your bedroom.

It had made him smile because what he saw there was too sweet, and he desperately wanted to tell Nat about it.

When Christmas came around the end of the year feels hit, and while you enjoyed spending time with Natasha it sometimes made you sad, feeling like being with her without actually getting to kiss her like you wanted to was pointless.

Nat noticed your sadness as well and she felt like maybe it was her fault somehow, which she confided in Bob about.

He was so kind to her and promised everything would be alright.

Jake’s idea of a secret santa at work excited all of you a little, but especially Natasha, when she pulled your name from the bucket.

She was so excited and nervous at the same time, because she simply didn’t know what to get you.

Once again she decided to talk to Bob about it, who smiled widely.

“Have you ever seen her bedroom?” He asked, to which Nat shook her head.

“You’d like it,” he replied, before telling her about the pictures of the two of you that were stuck to the frame of your bedroom mirror.

When the day of the secret santa exchange came Nat was incredibly nervous, because of what she had prepared for you.

You opened the presents one after the other, so that all of you could see what the other had gotten.

While Bob got a Christmas themed case for his glasses from Javy and Bradley received a shaving kit from Jake you were excited when it was finally time for you to open your present.

It wasn’t a big box at all but it was neatly wrapped, a wrapping paper in your favorite color adorning it.

You were excited when you opened the lid, and even more so when you found the first few photos that were put inside.

They were all pictures of Nat and you, just like on your bedroom mirror.

You were so surprised that you didn’t even able to fathom what these pictures meant.

A small smile of gratitude swept over your face and you were about to turn to Nat to thank her, when your eyes fell to the last picture and the neatly calligraphed writing on it.

It was a polaroid of Nat and you that Bob had taken on a trip you had gone to, which you had never gotten to see.

Nat had snatched it from his fingers and when you looked at it you knew exactly why she had.

You were smiling into the camera but Nat was looking at you, an adoring, almost worshipping look on her face.

Below the picture Nat had written something that took your breath away the second you read it.

‘We look cute together so I’m going to ask - would you want to go out with me?’

You didn’t have much time to think as Jake impatiently spoke up, not being able to see too well from his spot on the table.

“What have you got there?” He asked, but your eyes just found Nat’s.

You could see her nervously playing with the ring she often had on her forefinger.

Her eyes were searching yours for an answer and your heartbeat sped up, because you were utterly excited for what was to come.

You immediately started to nod repeatedly, receiving one of the widest smiles you had ever seen on her face, which you mirrored.

“Yes, please, I’d love to go out with you!” You exclaimed, and every one lf your peers chuckled at how you were looking at each other.

You hurried to wrap Nat into a warm and desperate hug before you pulled away, looking at her to find her lovingly looking at her.

She hadn’t said a word but had only glanced at Bob quickly, a quiet thank you for the help that he had given her.

Now she was looking at you, beautifully close to her, and she was utterly happy as well.

“Oh God, I was so nervous you’d say no,” she whispered before she pulled you into another hug, pressing a soft kiss to your temple in relief.

tagging: @starkleila @mayhem24-7forever @green-socks @letsfvckingdance @blindedbystars @katesmadness @yespolkadotkitty @whateverbagman @neptunes-curse @sweetheartlizzie07 @top-gun-rooster @iloveprettyboysblog @ateliefloresdaprimavera @imjess-themess @littlebadariell @angstyjellybean @marchingicenotes7 @midget713 @supernaturaldawning @gspenc @adorephina @gigisimsonmars @harper1666 @bespinnn @red1culous @malindacath @aerangi @kassieesworld @kwanimations @18crazybutcutealsopsycho @eggscrambler84 @mavericksicybabe @kendra-rose @desert-fern @mavrellover91 @allivingstone01 @rhettabbotts @withakindheartx @trikigirl271 @cherrycola27 @tamix44 @bonitanightmxres @ratcatcher2world @glowingtree @wingmanvenus @oliviah-25 @natasharomanoffisbaebby @books-are-escapes

(please tell me if you want to be added to the taglist, or use this link)

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

Questions (Since I can't use the askbox anonymously anymore)

Hi! I don’t really agree with you on everything about Miraculous Ladybug, but I thought I might ask you some questions here since I don’t want to make an account to do so and I can’t use the anonymous ask anymore without one.

1. I Assume that your Chloe vs Daruizen post will probably attempt to compare a character who may have been teased as being potentially redeemable before pulling a fakeout vs one who quite possibly wasn’t (and had the show try to pretend otherwise). I’ve seen an essay arguing that Chloe wasn’t meant to be redeemed from another fan, so I would be interested in seeing if you would respond to some of their points.

2. Honestly, I haven’t seen a lot of good things about other Zagtoon shows – I remember Ghostforce in my mind stands out because the comments on the site I found it on describe it as a terribly formulaic Danny Phantom Meets Power Rangers setup, and they also mention other shows by Zagtoon, which they see as average at best. I know Miraculous Ladybug has its flaws and I shouldn’t necessarily be listening to strangers on the internet for opinions but if it’s the best/most successful show that Zagtoon can put out then it certainly seems like they have a problem, especially overambition. I could see them being like telltale games in that they have a huge hit or two and several flops that try to repeat the success but instead gradually drag the studio down.

3. I do feel that more of the fandom would be okay (not necessarily happy, just feeling a bit better) about Gabriel winning if Adrien found out about his father being Hawkmoth (and maybe got to finally have a permanent reveal to ladybug) and we at least got to see him decide on what to think about him knowing that. The antagonist winning can be a huge gamble in writing, for better (Watchmen - where it was thematically appropriate) or worse (Re: Creators – in fact, I think if you watched this show you would compare its main villain to Gabriel in some ways). Though, maybe it might be the other way around and the fandom would have preferred Ladybug winning for good without Cat Noir’s help (and him and the rest of Paris not finding out Gabriel was Hawkmoth), if the choice came down to that or my other proposal. Hell, just to ask you, which would you have preferred?

4. Do you think they are going to reveal that the Utopian Paris happened naturally (to push their messaging) or because of Gabriel’s wish? I would prefer the latter, as it would imply that Gabriel ruined another city/country in the process, which would give a good plot hook and remind us that he was still ultimately a villain. Finding a way to undo the damage would be another good plot.

5. I heard in the interview you did that there has been a bit of resentment against Jeremy Zag. I don’t really know why – is that because he just didn’t do anything about Astruc’s bad decisions, because he was apparently (as) difficult to work with, or something else? I do give him a bit more respect than Astruc for making the movie(s), at least.

--------------------------------------------------------

1. The main idea for that post (assuming I ever wrire it) is more to compare two irredeemable villains who have a history with the main character, and why I think Dariuzen does everything Chloe was meant to do, but better.

2. The issue with ZAG is that they keep coming up with poorly marketed shows and pointless Miraculous Ladybug specials. It’s a case of overambition at its finest.

3. All we really wanted was for Adrien to get some kind of closure with his dad after all the years the show spent tackling their tense relationship. That’s what so many people liked about the movie, that Adrien was able to appeal to Gabriel’s humanity and make him give up. Hell, if you wanted to split up the two, make it so they’re both doing something. Have Ladybug lead the charge against the Miraculized while Cat Noir fights Monarch.

4. I feel like it’s unfortunately going to skew towards the latter. People keep saying that the show meant to make the ending uncomfortable, but not only did the writers’ commentary confirm that they were done with the Agreste family arc, even the marketing seems to believe that Gabriel was a good man.

5. My best guess is that it’s the same problem most writers and executives run into: creative differences.

[eddieismissing]

WHEN I GET HOME YOU’RE SO DEAD!

part one. || part two. || part three.

(based on the song when i get home youre so dead by mayday parade)

after your argument with eddie about your infidelity, things were still unclear. but your boyfriend still loved you, after all he had saved you from that man in the ally of his favorite dingy bar. (not before publicly humiliating both you and his bestfriend during his performance of a new original song). steve unwillingly brought you both back to eddie's trailer after your boyfriend demanded him to.. and now he finally had you alone. let chaos ensue. 3K+ words.

rockstar!eddie munson x reader. steve harrington. steddie x reader, (if you squint).

warnings: 18+, angst, fighting, infidelity, crying, dark content, choking, dirty talk, teasing, degradation, markings, obsessive behavior, violence, rockstar!eddie, p in v, breeding, hair pulling, slapping, biting, dom!eddie, dark!eddie, mean!eddie, rough stuff, seriously this is gonna be angsty, aftercare, misunderstandings, subspace, dom drop, soft!eddie, fluff & aftercare, two idiots in love, solving conflict, and things I'm sure I missed.

this is a wip, part three coming very soon! (edit: it’s posted!)

SMUT DIRECTLY UNDER THE CUT. NO MINORS PLEASE. 18+.

The car came to a quick stop. The tires of Steve’s car rolled on the hard gravel that mapped out Eddie’s lot in the trailer park. Your boyfriend still had you pinned underneath him in the back seat. Rough denim jeans against your skin ignited heat in your chest as his hips moved rhythmically into you. The relief you received from him against you was intoxicating, reminding you of the many times you’ve danced with him like this before. It was always loving and caring, rough when Eddie knew you needed him to clear your mind. You hoped he would clear your mind, because this time there were unanswered questions. Problems you know wouldn’t just be solved with him taking control and causing you to unravel for him. This time you both knew it was going to be different. A puzzle of emotions laid out between you two.

You hadn’t been under him like this in awhile due to your argument that led you into making bad decisions. Both of you hadn’t been able to peel back the skin of humiliation you had experienced for the past two weeks. The dream that had caused this was still lingering in the back of your mind. It was a wound that was still fresh. His reaction to your dream still stung, but it was easily forgettable as he worked against you. He held the remedy to your injury in his hands. His words. His movements. He was more kind to you than normal, but his harsh bites and tugs were laced with something strange. Your fingers played with the hem of his shirt, but you longed to place a finger on what was really bothering him.

You getting Steve involved in this situation must’ve driven Eddie up the wall. Writing that song about you and then performing it was reliving for him. You couldn’t be mad for the harsh words and digs that he wrote throughout his melodies. It was his way of expressing himself, and his feelings. You had to accept that. Especially after you had expressed your feelings with Steve. You and Eddie had been joined at the hip for as long as any of your friends could remember, so why couldn’t this have been resolved before you got to this point? The fighting was all so messy, so unexpected, so pointless. But the relief you both craved for answers and solutions was drowning in desire instead. Eddie was never good at being vulnerable without his songs and you were never good at making decisions. 

Eddie’s hips continued to work against yours roughly as he reached for the car’s door handle to make an exit. You couldn’t help yourself as your bottom lip pinched between your teeth while he surged forward. His free hand reached down to grip your hip to keep you still, his actions demanded you to be still. You could tell he didn’t want you to have any form of control after how much you had hurt him. His touch was burning as his warm fingers pushed you harder into the cushion with a growl. 

“Don’t you dare fucking move.”

A small whimper left your throat against your will as you heard the door pop open. Eddie glanced down at you with a knowing smirk. 

“Got you excited? You’re so eager for me aren’t you, sweetheart?” He said in a low whisper. His hot breath fanning against your cheeks made you blush a light pink.

Steve sighed in the front seat, reminding you he was there, “Alright, Ed’s let’s wrap this up.” 

Eddie pulled away from you and grunted, “can’t you just shut up?” Eddie barked.

He grabbed your cheek and pushed your face into the backseat cushion as he spoke to his best friend. Your face was flat on the expensive leather that dressed the back seat and was sticky from the heat that radiated off of you and Eddie. You let out a cry as the muscles in your neck turned abruptly. Eddie quickly shot his eyes at you when the subtle sound you made stirred his stomach. His eyes were scarily dark as he watched you. You couldn’t help but lift your hands and paw at him to get the loving glassy look back in his eyes. Instead, he laughed at you. You looked pitiful like this. 

You could tell Eddie was proud of his work already with the satisfaction dressed all over his face. He easily was able to get you so worked up with a few dirty words and some aggressive movements. He leaned down to lick your cheek grossly, he let his tongue hang out of his mouth as he gazed down at you. A line of spit connected his tongue to your cheek.

“Open that pretty mouth up for me.” He didn’t give you a chance to obey as he pulled you mouth open winder with his index finger and middle. Steve watched in the rear view mirror.

You moaned as Eddie’s fingers played with your throat softly. His index finger toyed with the heat of your mouth as he watched you swirl your tongue around his middle. He groaned. Eddie’s touch got harsher when you sucked him in with hollowed cheeks, your lips reaching all the way down to the hilt of one of his sparkly rings. His eyes bored into yours as he watched his jewelry sparkle with your spit. The deep black color of his pupils that swallowed his irises in the darkness of Steve’s backseat was a good reminder that he was hurt, and he was just getting started. Your heart started to beat faster. He was going to ruin you when he finally had you alone. His hand that was on your hip gripped you tighter as he watched your eyes gloss over in realization. Tonight was going to be exhausting for the both of you, physically and mentality.

When Eddie moved his touch away from your lips, you released him with a pop. Your mouth stayed open willingly. He smiled lovingly when your tongue softly fell from your lips begging him for more of a taste. Your taste buds danced with a metallic taste from the dried blood on his knuckles and a bit of sweetness from whatever he had been drinking at the bar. The flavor was evidence of him saving you from that man in the alleyway earlier, but it was also comforting and safe. Nostalgic of all of your memories shared together.

Eddie was everything you wanted and more compared to Steve. You couldn’t even remember how Steve felt against your lips when your thoughts were consumed with Eddie. Your mind and senses were sent into overdrive as you tried to compose yourself enough to hear your boyfriend's next command or question. Just trying to have enough brainpower to answer him when he spoke to you was damning when you felt this lightheaded.

It was so hard to focus. His fingers gently played with your swollen bottom lip and he laughed at you as you tried to suck him back in. He quickly gripped your throat to keep you from squirming. The pitiful whimpers that spilled from his new hand placement only seemed to edge him on. Your throat was warmed up and worked open from the previous intrusion of his big fingers, but he wasn’t going to give you something to keep your mind cloudy and occupied. He’d keep you on edge all night. You tried taking a deep breath, closing your lips in a tight line to steady your breathing while his hand soaked in your spit tightened around your throat. 

Eddie didn’t like that. He raised up slightly, and leaned back. Holding his body weight up with his knee and abandoning you. His hand that once held a vice grip on your hip was suddenly in your line of vision. He smacked you on your cheek with a harsh slap and you cried out at the pain. He smiled devilishly.

“No. None of that. If I tell you to open your mouth for me, you keep it open. I'm gonna be taking every last breath from you.”

Tears pricked at the corner of your eyes, you immediately opened your mouth up for him again, scared of what might happen if you disobeyed him in any way tonight. He shushed you as you winced at his gentle kisses on your cheeks. They were sure to be a little red by now. 

“Oh, baby… did I scare you? Shhh… m’sorry sweet girl. You're such a good girl for me.” Eddie leaned down to kiss your tears from your cheeks. Eddie hummed, loosening the grip he had on your throat.

“Don’t you think… I deserve it?” he kissed you again, “after everything you put me through?” he huffed.

“I’m not gonna be gentle with you tonight, we both know that.. and you’re already soooo needy baby… all because of me?” He chuckled deeply. “I wish you could see how miserable you look, all dumb for me with your mouth open wide…” 

Suddenly he was leaning closer and Eddie’s wet hot saliva was dripping into your throat, some landing on your cheek. You swallowed. He smirked as he cooed at you. His hand reached up to the spit on your cheek and spread his mark over your face messily. The taste of liquor and cigarettes filled your senses once again. He removed his hands from you and pushed open the door further. Chills went down your spine at his messy attitude, but it was partly caused by the cold air that rushed over you as the heat of Steve’s car rushed to escape out of the crack in the door. You clung to Eddie, trying to absorb his warmth. Your ankles crossed behind his back and your arms reached for purchase around his neck. They tightly landed against the back of his slick leather jacket.  

His body weight fell onto you at your motions, he let out a gruff and a laugh to mock your desperations. The sweet sound was laced with love. That was the first sign he still cared. He matched your eagerness as he pulled you to him by the small of your back and forced your legs to latch onto his hips tighter. He felt you shiver from the cold and began kissing you on your collarbone and neck to keep you warm. His tongue was soft and pillowy in comparison to his harsh biting. He dug his hips further into you to lift you up on his lap so he could slip out of the car. Your body followed him. You sat on his thighs and faced each other.

Eddie bushed your hair out of your face gently as you fit into his lap perfectly. He blushed before pausing to admire your features. He was so proud of how your eyebrows furrowed softly. You looked so precious with your swollen pink lips and blown out eyes. Eddie stared at you. 

“You’re still the prettiest girl I have ever seen. You know that? don't you, baby?” he whispered.

You silently nodded. He smiled dreamily. He knew your head was already light and spacy for him. Eddie grabbed your chin and pushed your head to the side, giving himself more access to your throat. He slowly kissed up the colom of your neck in gentle kisses. When he reached the spot that made you melt he nipped you with his sharp canines. 

“Eddie, ‘m sorry. i- i just don’t know..” you hiccupped, “do- don’t know what i was thinking, baby.” 

He giggled into your shoulder while listening to you intently. Your voice was set in a higher octave. He trailed his hot tongue from your collarbone to your neck. When he reached the shell of your ear, to accept your apology, his voice was gruff. 

“Oh yeah?” he clicked his tongue and let out a breathy laugh, “but.. sweetheart” he paused. “You fucked up bad, didn’t you?” he pulled away as his eyes softened on you. He could see your eye’s filling with more tears.

“Admit it for me. I almost got you out of that head of yours hmm? it’s okay, I've got you.. you don’t have to think about anything else but me… and I know I messed up too, pretty baby.” Eddie confessed to calm you.

“I’m gonna fix this attitude. I’ll fix this little problem you’re having thinking I don’t love you. I’m gonna show you just how much..” he kissed you gently before pulling away again. “...i love you.”

“I love you, Eddie.” You whimpered, he smiled at you before diving back into your soft neck. 

“Mmmhm. Like i said, I promise I’ll try being gentle, but I don’t think you really deserve it. Do you?” he questioned, testing your limits, wanting to know how far he could push this before he broke you.. and if you would be willing to take it. take him.

Steve groaned at his best friend's words. He sat stone cold in the front seat continuing to watch the two of you in the rear view. Steve knew this was going to be one of the last times that you were ever in Steve’s presence. Steve would be lucky if Eddie ever let you be within 20 feet of him again, and he was overly surprised Eddie even saved him from that fight in the alleyway. Eddie would’ve left him to teach him a good life lesson if you weren’t involved, but Steve’s thoughts on the whole situation didn’t stop him from speaking up again,   

“Can you guys hurry this up?” Steve spoke with his hands, pointing to Eddie’s trailer.

“A room is literally 10 feet away. At most.” He cried. 

The words Steve spoke engulfed Eddie in anger. He smirked sarcastically, clicking his tongue against his teeth. Eddie’s eyes met Steve's in the rear view as he pulled you closer. Eddie shuffled forward while he turned his attention to Steve. Eddie’s hand wrapped his hand around your throat tightly to keep your eyes on him. You whined and Steve rolled his eyes at the metalhead. Your head got lighter and the boys could see your arousal dripping from you. That's exactly what Eddie wanted. He was desperate to have you back in his arms. In his possession. You weren’t Steve’s, nor would you ever be. Deep down he knew that, but he wanted him to see it. 

Your tantrum was only caused because you thought he didn’t care about your little dream. Eddie hummed while his hand remained on your throat pushing down even harder. His grip was bruising. Your pulse was beating against his finger tips, but he paid no mind to you. All you could focus on was him as his eyes turned sharp. They watched Steve’s expressions darkly as he spoke to you. The way his head turned exposed his neck over you. It glistened with sweat in the dark lighting that flooded the car’s backseat. 

“Hear that baby? Hmm? Your little toy doesn’t wanna play with you anymore..” he snapped. “It’s not like he could really handle you anyways, you someone who will treat you like the slut you are. A doll like you needs to be properly played with.. don’t you?” 

He felt you try to nod at him while he watched Steve. His focus was back to you suddenly. Eddie’s hand moved swiftly from your throat to in the air. He smacked your cheek with an open palm. Both you and Steve jumped at the smacking sound. Your tears spilled out of your eyes from the sensations running through your body. He moved to get fully out of the car. His big boots thudded against the gravel as he lifted you out and kept you tightly to him with his strength. 

“Dumb whore. Words. You know I need your words.” he snapped. 

you whined, “..mhm.. only you know wh-what i like, m’promise.. only you take care of me.” was all you could choke out.  

His voice was deep and dark compared to your needy cries. You could feel the desire Eddie oozed to fuck you silly as he ignored Steve yelling to be careful with you as he adjusted you in his arms. He made sure he gripped your thighs hard enough to leave marks. You heard him kick the car door shut. He let out a breathy chuckle as you flinched at the noise. Eddie kissed you hungry as Steve’s car slowly backed out of the driveway. His feet carried the both of you to his trailer. Both of your eyes soft as you rubbed his cheek with your cold hand and gazed into each others eyes.

“I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry.. Eddie.” you sighed. You felt him walk up the stairs as his knees brushed against you. His hand reached into his pocket to grab his keys and he fiddled with the door knob before he spoke again. 

“You fucking better be.” he whispered before the door opened with a soft click.

His big palm rested on the small of your back as he pushed you against him. Like a magnet your legs tightened around his small waist so he could adjust you in his arms. Eddie kicked the car door closed behind him as he walked into the empty trailer. The brief walk to his house felt so long. The cold of the air outside made your skin prickle in chills, you shirt was still somewhere in steve’s car. Inside you looked at him slowly, resting your hands on his hot cheeks. He recoiled slightly, as if your cold hands burned his already hot face. You couldn’t tell if he was angry with you or if the liquor from earlier in the evening was the cause of his body heat increasing. A part of you hoped that it was you that was causing him to blush warmly. He paused as you rubbed the pad of your thumb under his eyes. A silent offer to dry his invisible tears.

“Will you ever learn to forgive me? If I apologized and told you that it’s always been you… wo.. would you believe me?” you whispered.

A look of shame danced across Eddie’s face, “Sweetheart, I know it’s always been me doll.. and listen..” Eddie sighed as he sat on the couch.

You sat politely on his lap, not wanting to put your entire weight on him. Eddie grabbed your hips and pushed you harshly against him. You yelped as your thighs split further apart to make room for him. He hummed in satisfaction.

His eyes were glassy as he spoke, your hands danced down his chest now, “I believe you and I forgive you.. but you’re gonna tell me exactly what you did with Steve in that bathroom, baby.. and you’re going to be good for me. If you disrespect me tonight more than you already have then we're going to have bigger issues.”

Eyes widened, you looked at Eddie in surprise, “You want me to do.. ed… Steve and I.. it was just a kiss.. just a kiss.” you cried. 

Eddie’s grip tightened on your waist, “..if it was just a kiss, show me.. how did you kiss him.. hm?” he raised your chin with one of his fingers so you would meet his gaze. 

“I- I don’t wanna think about Steve while i'm trying to make this up to you..” you reasoned with him. He let out a groan, “I don’t give a fuck what you wanna think about, if i demand you to show me.. you. show. me.” 

Your soft hands danced up and down your boyfriend's chest, “We.. we started like this.” You fingers continued to trace his chest. “He had his hands on me, and he was..” Suddenly eddie’s hands traced small circles on your hips. “and he put his hand on my neck.. he was gentle.” 

Eddie laughed. His fingers hovered over your hips until they were tracing your spine, when his hand met the back of your neck he gripped you hard. The muscles in your body tensed. Eddie could feel your pulse in his palm. You winced and he pulled you back slightly so he could move you anyway he wanted to.

“Of course Stevie treats you like your glass when i'm not around… he knows i'm the only one allowed to break you huh, sweetheart?”

All you could choke out was a strangled, “mh-hm.” Your boyfriend released you and tucked some of your hair behind your ear before he traced your hips again, “and what happened next?”

“..w-well we kissed.” you answered.

Eddie didn’t like that, and he was tired of repeating himself. His features turned sharp. He lifted you off of him and brought you to your feet. His frame towered over you and made you feel so small. As he crowded your space he walked forwards, you couldn’t help but flinch away from him until your back was met with the wall. Lifting both of his hands above your head, he placed his palms flat on the surface. Both of his forearms caged you in as his hot breath fanned on your face. He looked so sexy like this. 

“Do you not understand what I meant by show me? Are you to fucked out to understand my demands, pretty baby?” he paused, his eyes watching your lips part.

“You have no idea what I have planned tonight. Thought about it all last week.. couldn’t wait to see you.” he took a deep breath as if he was inhaling the fear that oozed off of your body. “I'm going to break you, like you broke me.. I cried for days, over one stupid fucking kiss.” He whined. 

“Now.. kiss me.. kiss me like you kissed him.” 

fin.

my masterlist. || part three.