#it dose make it easier to instantly post things

[lerildeal]

wow Ace attorney doodles two days in a row?

yes 😔

I finished the first case of the second game and boy it was surprisingly queer

[starwrighter]

I am not a baby!! (Yes you are)

(Ao3) (Masterpost) (Previous) (Next)

(Chapter thirteen)

Gone with one issue on to the next, post haste! It was like this year was pelting him with problem after problem. Of course, a quantum destination would be the next space on his bingo card of disasters! Why wouldn’t it be?! If there’s one thing the universe would never give him it was a break. That nap was a curse! He made up for too much of the sleep he’d lost back home. Now, there was karma to pay for those extra few hours of sleep. 

Granted, he felt better than yesterday, but was it worth the quantum detonation? Temptation says yes but logical thinking says no. Logical thinking also said nothing he could’ve done would’ve prevented the damage to the drive core. It would have already started to degrade from seawater pouring in before he even got there. It was nice to know this one thing wasn’t his fault, but it wouldn’t soothe the anxiety of knowing the Aurora was going to explode.

The damage a drive core from a ship the Aurora’s size could cause would be catastrophic. The radiation alone was a planet-ending event. Could he prevent this with his limited access to his powers? There were no blueprints for a radiation suit in his PDA and he doubts he could make one himself. Building what was essentially a hazmat divesuit strong enough to protect him from the lethal doses of radiation the aurora was dishing out wasn’t the same as building a table. Did he still have any kind of immunity to radiation? 

Regardless, he’s a Fenton! He got irradiated for breakfast! 

Swimming back to his base, Danny began pilfering through his storage. If he’s even going to try attempting to stop a quantum detonation, a seamoth would be helpful. Not only did it sound cool as hell, it’d make traversing through the waters a piece of cake! Only… The blueprints wasn’t there and data corruption was to blame. Cursing, Danny collapsed to the floor, scrolling desperately through all the blueprints over and over again. He’d regained the blueprint for the mobile vehicle bay, but there was no amount of tampering that’d give him the Seamoth. The mobile vehicle bay was useless without a vehicle! 

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Danny decided this was the perfect time to check the radio. Any information concerning the rendevuos would be a life saver!

Swimming back to his pod, a cloud of rot spilled into the ocean. The foul odor of the remaining goo assaulted his nostrils. Nausea bubbled in his stomach, bile crawling up his throat. He crawled back into the pod. They say the smell of human decomposition was one the human body was hardwired to recognize and Danny could now say with confidence that rotting halfa was the same. Even if he’d been completely unaware of the lifepod’s contents the smell alone sent a shiver down his spine. It was easier to dissociate the pile of goo on the floor before it’d decomposed to this extent. Dried blood stained the floor any green that’d been there was gone without a trace.

This…This would be a gruesome site for whoever was going to collect the life pods after this was over. It’s a difficult scene for him to see for ancient's sake! It was funny to think that despite the horrid smell and blood, he’d rather have found something like this in Lifepod 3. Bodies, or at least more than a PDA entry to prove someone was here! He’d perfer finding blood and rot than have the dead be forgotten so easily. They’d died within the meager three hours Danny had been unconscious, and been torn into by local wildlife until nothing remained before anyone could respond to their distress signal.

Tearing his eyes away from the puddle, Danny sucked in a deep breath, regretting it instantly as putrid air filled his lungs. His PDA screamed, biohazard warnings taking over the screen, begging him to leave. With a shake of his head, Danny covered his nose with his hand toddling towards the radio. The device was flashing and Danny couldn’t hit a play button harder than he had today. 

“Playing pre-recorded distress call…” Waiting on his tippy toes Danny stared at the device with hope-filled eyes as a human voice sounded through the pod.

“This is Ozzy from the cafeteria. What the hell guys?! They didn’t warn us this might happen!” Danny’s heart sank as the message continued.

“Our pod was almost crushed by the seamoth bay on the way down, now we’re hanging on the edge of a cave system and this grim-looking snake thing’s trying to eat through the hull! Come get us already!” 

Saying that didn’t sound good would’ve been an understatement. How many hours had it been since this message was sent? A grim-looking snake thing? He has someone like that outside. Chances were they weren’t talking about the same snake thing.

 Dami has a snake-like body, but he resembles more of a dragon or a sea serpent…Dami hadn’t even made an attempt to hurt Danny or his little base. Sure, he scratched the glass but Danny had a feeling those claws were capable of much worse. Trust was a strong word to use when talking about a giant sea monster but Danny was confident Dami wouldn’t freak out and try to kill him for no reason.

All he’d done since seeing him was give reason after reason to kill him! Honestly, Dami just seems confused by his existence, but to be fair Danny is too. Logically he should be permanently dead, erased from every plane of existence but something gave him a third chance at life. Now he’s everyone’s problem!

Updating the signal to his PDA Danny crawled back out the lifepod, a signal to follow and materials to gather.

@ashoutinthedarkness @avelnfear @meira-3919 @thought-u-said-dragon-queen @hugsandchaos @blep-23 @zeldomnyo @bytheoldwillowtree @justwannabecat @shepherdsheart @starlightcat04 @stargazing-bookwyrm @pupstim @dragongoblet @noxcheshire

[boreal-sea]

Hi!! I don't mean to be rude or rub anything in, but you may want to talk to your doctor about the amount of T you're on - I know you said it doesn't make you taller or make you have a big beard and big muscles, but I was on it for a year and it gave me the hairiest of bodies and a full beard + the voice drop, I just had to increase my dosage and check some blood work to make sure I was on a good path.

The muscle part has to come from actively working out, though, which I cannot due to disability right now, so I get that - they told me it was sort of a thing you had to keep up with because it'll convert more easily to fat if you don't do much exercise, but you can absolutely harness it if you want to.

And sometimes it does take more than just a few months, it did for me, I'm on nearly two years and I have yet to see any sort of bottom growth as well and had to adjust to get these big changes, too. I'm not saying it will be a cure-all kinda fix, but I'd definitely get your blood levels checked and talk about how much T you can be on and handle well, its never the same from person to person!

Don't give up hope, I'm still adjusting mine as well! from another enby.

Hi!

So, I know you are sending this in good faith out of concern and a desire to help, but I promise you that I am and not feeling hopeless/losing hope; I am in fact extremely happy and satisfied with how my transition is going!

I am taking a moderate dose of T and my T levels are within those for an adult male of my age. I am experiencing body hair growth, facial hair growth, bottom growth, and voice drop!

The post I made was not about expressing hopelessness; it was intended to directly refute the claims made by some people that an estrogen puberty does "nothing" to change a body, and to refute the claims that trans men take T and it "instantly" changes us from women to men, we all totally pass with no effort, and we have it sooo much easier than trans women.

[vergess]

this is a personal af question that you do not need to answer publicly or at all esp. bc its for fanficish writing purposes but anyway so like how DO you, personally at least, deal with episodes of psychosis? because google tells me that the go to needs to be antipsychotics but 1. the context is a character who does not have regular access to them anyway 2. every one i have looked at has GOD AWFUL PERMANENT SIDE EFFECTS that seem to be almost guaranteed to happen? and my doctor oc would not subject that to anybody. the usual psychosis symptoms i write in my current rps are post-ictal and postpartum psychosis specifically because getting information about that from people who actually HAVE THE CONDITIONS is easy, and there seem to be other methods of dealing with them without antipsychotics (plus, you know, magic dnd for one, and pokemon psychic bs for the other) but finding information on how people with other forms of psychosis (in this case, schizotypal ftr) deal with it from their own perspective is almost impossible? it's ALL ableist bullshit from doctors which is why i am hesitant to trust the idea of "antipsychotics are the only way" :/ even reddit is not helpful here lol and i want to get this right? i know it's just tumblr rp/ao3 fanfic/discord rp that nobody important will read but me and my friends are trying to NOT be ableist shitbags on purpose you know?

Boy I really just don't answer tough asks over the winter months, huh.

I started keeping a closer eye on how media that I otherwise recommend depicts psychosis since getting this ask, and I'm disappointed to announce that over the last two months only two (2) pieces of media have been Normal About Psychosis.

So, the first thing to remember when writing a Psycho is: WE ARE WHOLE ASS ADULTS WITH ADULT BRAINS OKAY, we're not small children lost in a fantasy. We're not violent monsters out for blood. We are people who sometimes see, hear, etc things that aren't really there.

Writing a psychotic character competently isn't about curing them, or even about reducing their symptoms. It's about showing how they cope with those symptoms while carrying on with their daily lives.

I'm currently on the lowest possible dose of antipsychotic right now, and I will say two things about that. 1) the meds make reality checks and other coping skills MUCH more effective. 2) Even at a low dose, abstract and creative thinking are hindered. I don't feel hindered; but I have a 24 year long writing portfolio that says I sure as shit am hindered.

Whether a character will benefit from going on meds is going to be a balancing act. But since you aren't actually looking for meds advice, lets talk about those Other Coping Skills.

Broadly, I would split my skills into three categories: stuff for hallucinations, stuff for delusions, and stuff for dissociation.

So, first off, reality checking is my #1 go to for hallucinations.

You pick this skill up pretty quickly as a kid; everyone does. The difference being that where a non-psychotic person eventually gets to stop relying on others to tell them what is real, we get to keep on asking forever.

It's actually super exhausting to be in a crowded space because most of the nonverbal cues you come to rely on (eg, no one else flinched so that noise probably wasn't real) become INSTANTLY useless. Every noise, movement etc may of may not be real, and your only option is to either gauge other people's lack of reaction, or ask someone you trust for a reality check.

Sounds like an easy way for an abusive shit to control your entire life with no effort? It is!!

THAT'S WHY PSYCHOTIC PEOPLE ARE WAY MORE LIKELY TO BE ABUSED THAN THE GENERAL POPULATION.

Once you know if something is real or not, you can decide to ignore it. Like ignoring anything obtrusive, this is easier if you are in a good mood, physically comfortable, etc. An absurd amount of "coping with psychosis" is just constantly monitoring yourself and others to make sure you are reacting to the right things at the right volume.

Ignoring something that your brain insists is real and a threat is very tiring, so there's also a lot of sleeping.

Delusions are significantly harder to manage than hallucinations, IMO. Not just because, as a multiply marginalized person there are myriad ways that an ambiguous "them" is actually trying to ruin my life for real. Being on terror watchlists due to racism REALLY makes it IMPOSSIBLE to manage my paranoid delusions because some of the more insane shit is just real.

But there are other delusions that are easier to handle. Mostly, this comes down to self monitoring again. I can take an extra second to ask myself, "hang on, statistically speaking, how likely is it that this total stranger ACTUALLY wants to kill me?" The answer, of course, is "violent crime has been trending down for years, and everyone in this area thinks I'm white as long as I don't go outside during the summer, so I'm safe."

It's all about finding the information that helps keep you calm.

Because the absolute certainty that this is a murderer and you are walking into the slaughter will not go away. You just... take it on faith that this time will turn out as safely as the last 399 times.

It's just a shitload of observation, mimicry, and forcing myself to do things that feel dangerous by reminding myself that they aren't.

That shit sounds simple, but it's a CONSTANT fight; it never really gets easier, you just get used to it.

Which brings me back around to my meds again: I think I prefer it this way. My writing sucks, and I keep crying when I read it because it's wrong, it sounds like a field amputation. But god, I went to a cafe during the morning rush a few days ago, and the overload of noise and data only left me bedridden for ONE day. ONE!!! Not a WEEK!

Maybe losing my only art is okay in light of how much less bad things are.

Anyway, I can't remember the name of the 2014 short story about the One Person With Psychosis being wrongfully shunned by her colony because she doesn't feel affective empathy, in spite of her constant and perfectly reasoned moral code ensuring she is, if anything, the least dangerous person in town. I wish I could remember it!! It's a good example!!!

I haven't read it yet, but people I love and trust seem to generally agree that the psychosis in Harrow the Ninth is well written, too, so maybe check that out IDK

[transitjournal]

50 Days HRT Update 🔥

No, HRT will not make you turn to a cute anime girl instantly but it will surely do you these things.

Estradiol Hemihydrate 2mg/ Cyproterone Acetate 50mg

First of all, thank you all for your support and interest on my blog. It's what keeps me going.  💕

I used to take DIY HRT with different medications 2 years ago, with spiro and E2 valerate from January 26 2020 to late July 2020. Those doses were pretty low, at least considering from my point. And after I had to stop those meds, all my changes are rolled back, except some very very little breast growth. Now that I'm seeing doctors since October 2021, since HRT is gatekeeped in my country. Thankfully, I finally got them in July 25, officially got a prescription and had my legit cocktail! Now, of course I'm done with talking, let's move to the changes :)

Physical Changes

My skin is much more thinner and more translucent, and I'm more prone to bruises or tear even by slight contact with something. I feel that I have less tolerance for cold, that I now have to run my air conditioning in higher degrees. IDK what will happen in wintertime though! I've noticed my penis is also getting slightly smaller, as well as my testicles, since there's no T supplying those tissues anymore. No longer have to deal with morning wood or random erections, and this makes me so happy! I've noticed tucking is slightly easier because I can't get erections easily, and probably because of my testicular atrophy. I have small breast buds developing much faster compared to my old cocktail in 2020, (check my old posts if you'd like to get to know more about) the sad thing is since I'm taking single estradiol pill a day, fluctiations of estrogen affects my breast tissue. Sometimes it's like it's not there at all, and sometimes it's noticeably there (like a preteen girl's breasts, to compare).

My facial hair is slightly thinner, but it's still there and I have to shave everyday. The thing I didn't expected is, the growth pace of my facial hair is slowed considerably. Considering laser hair removal in future months, I'd do now but I'm short on cash nowadays. I always hated my facial hair, and it was (and still) my biggest cause of dysphoria. I've heard HRT makes laser hair removal on facial hair much more effective, so that's why I've been waiting around. I am also happy that, my scalp is less oily as well as my skin. I've had like soo much oily skin that I had to use lots of products to get rid of. My acne on my forehad is 90% gone, and I'm so happy for it.

Because of T reduced on my system, the sebum production is decreasing, making my skin dryer. And I tried to masturbate twice in a month, but it was so hard to reach climax. I guess I need to find different ways to please me. But my orgasms were more like a full-body experience, and it was... mind blowing.

Mental Changes

Okay don't be afraid of those negative things I say first cause they're not always here, haha. PMS symptoms, usually once a week (sadly). Cramps on my intestines to the point I can't move. Sometimes I find myself that everything in the world irritates me.

And my love life started to bloom again... at least from my side. I find myself I'm falling for handsome guys much more easily... I can't stop myself. It's more of emotional than sexual this time. I started to be able to cry again after months, I cried for my breakup with my boyfriend for first time after 3 months, why it happened is another story to tell about.

And I cry on emotional scenes in TV series. But being able to cry makes me feel free! 💕 I don't have specific craves to foods, but sometimes I feel hungry out of nothing... it's harder for me to say "no" to some foods. My emotions now feels like a rainbow.

[dragonindigo245]

Official post for my orange side theory

AND NO IT IS NOT WRATH OR ANGER

WARNING: Spoilers for Working Through Intrusive Thoughts. I'm not gonna bother adding the spoiler tag to this post because all the spoilers are going to be under the read more.

Also this post is long so be warned.

Back in early August of 2020 I came up with an orange side theory I have stuck with for a long time. I always found the orange side theory of wrath/anger to be odd, seeing as anger is an emotion not a personality trait, and therefore made an effort to try and discover what I can see the orange side being. In light of the fandoms response to the latest asides saying that orange being wrath is "now canon", I figured it was time to bring it back, along with new points and explanations.

What is the orange side exactly? The answer is simple. He might not be this exactly, but orange is naivety, irrationality, or the inability to see logic clearly.

This started when I made the connection to the dark sides being complete opposites to one another. For example, Janus and Patton are opposite ends of the moral spectrum, Roman and Remus are opposite ends of the creative spectrum, and Logan himself is on the functionality/rationality spectrum. The opposite end would be something like naivety or irrationality.

After that post, I made another a couple of months ago with 3 main points, the first being the opposite ends point. The other two points are just as important.

Point 2: It ties into the 3 monkeys theory

The recent episode confirmed the 3 monkeys theory, further solidifying this point. In case you live under a rock or are new to the Sanders Sides theories, the 3 monkeys theory is based on the whole "See no evil, hear no evil, and speak no evil" thing. The dark sides all have powers relating to each of these.

Janus has the ability to mute the sides (speak no evil), Remus has the ability to muffle the sides (hear no evil), and Orange has the ability to... make... their eyes pretty? I'm sure that we will get an actual explanation on how he influenced Logan in the future lol. Regardless, orange is definitely see no evil.

Now you may be asking, Indigo, how does this tie into irrationality?

Do you know what irrationality is? The inability to SEE the world clearly or to SEE reason or logic. Irrationality blinds you to reason itself. It makes sense, seeing as emotions are illogical and orange clearly did something to push Logan to an outburst. When orange provided his influence, Logan's eyes glowed orange, indicating he lost the ability to see purely logically. While, yes, orange did this with anger as a vessel, irrationality takes many forms.

Point 3: Color symbolism

Something that is frequently overlooked when fanders make theories about the sides is that each side ties into their color scheme in some way. Roman being red ties into him functioning as Thomas' romantic side, Patton's light blue tying into his gentle nature and trustworthiness, etc.

Orange is a color that is tied to joy and youth. Being naïve to the world around you crumbling down will often make you happier. While some naivety is great and can make you happy, in large doses it is a threat to your well being.

Point 3.5: How is this connection accurate?

A great deal of the plot in this episode, especially the endcard, showcases this irrational blindness to all of the issues the sides are having with each other. Throughout the episode, Logan keeps having to sacrifice his plan to help Thomas and then once Nico calls Thomas, Thomas doesn't know how hard it hurts Logan to once again be brushed off. In the endcard, Patton and Roman tell Logan that this is more important, not realizing how rejected Logan feels.

This isn't just happening with Logan either. Patton and Virgil have had some rising tension as of late as well. This is showcased the most clearly in this video when Virgil snaps at Patton and says "Oh thank goodness. You're giving him permission." sarcastically. Patton takes this as "I didn't know you would give him permission" whereas Virgil was meaning "He doesn't need your permission to feel good about this". Furthermore, each of the light sides have argued with each other individually in different episodes except for Virgil and Patton.

With Janus recently being more accepted, Remus appearing and hurting everyone, and the tension each of the main sides have... it's all going to fall apart. Nobody but the dark sides seem to notice this tension, not even Thomas. Why? Because they are being naïve. The orange side is either keeping them blissfully unaware or the very fact they are unaware is giving the orange side power.

What is the new point you mentioned?

This video with the orange side really got my gears turning. I began making connections that otherwise I didn't have the ability to make, or never happened to think of. The fact my theory has managed to hold up in a heavy orange side lore video only solidifies my confidence in this.

Point 4: The dark sides revolve around the truth

This theory is a little more of a stretch but if I'm right, then this is all the evidence I really need to confirm that orange is irrationality.

Janus is essentially the ring leader of the dark sides. He keeps them hidden until Thomas wants to be aware of them, with the potential exception of Virgil who we don't know when he was revealed to Thomas. However, each dark side has something in common besides witty remarks. They all center around the truth.

Janus and Remus are easier to figure out, seeing as Janus is literally the embodiment of lies and Remus has multiple times where it is obvious he provides the unfortunate truth. Remus being the bringer of truth is showcased multiple times, which I will only bullet point because this post is more-so about orange than him.

His line of "I would never hide anything from you."

Janus bit in Forbidden Fruit that goes "No longer will you deceive yourself about the ugliness within you."

Logan admitting Remus can help Thomas in his own way

Virgil on the other hand is harder. Unlike the other two, Virgil represents a completely different angle of this "truth theme". Virgil represents the fear of both the truth and the unknown. Why would Janus even need to even repress the dark sides in the first place if Thomas wasn't afraid of the truth that they were apart of him? Why would Thomas had admitted he didn't want there to be more dark sides after he asks if there were more of them if it were not fear he had more unwanted parts of him and fear of not knowing what they were?

Virgil knows Thomas' fears. This would have made admitting he was a dark side such a hard feat. If he felt Thomas was chill with the dark sides, Virgil could have instantly told Thomas he was in fact one of them. In a way, this makes Virgil the perfect bridge between the light and dark sides. The dark sides provide Thomas with the truth he needs or wants, and the light sides figure out how to handle it.

Point 4.5: What does this have to do with orange?

Orange would keep Thomas from the truth. While, yes, this is the exact same thing Janus does, Orange would do it another way. Janus makes Thomas unaware of the truth he KNOWS. Unconsciously, Thomas still knows what Janus hides. This makes it entirely different from how naivety works. Naivety would keep him from ever learning the information in the first place.

Furthermore, we saw that orange is potentially connected to Janus in some way. The very last thing we see in Working Through Intrusive Thoughts is the flash from Janus' eyes, to oranges eyes. This could be a slight hint at Janus and Oranges functions not being so far apart.

Or the writers just thought it would look neat. That too.

Is Logan the orange side?

I can say with almost 100% certainty the answer is no. We saw before each sides introduction, they manifested themselves in the other sides.

Janus silenced Roman in Accepting Anxiety Part 2, Remus manifested in Roman by giving him random unwanted outbursts (like the naked Aunt Patty line that Roman said he didn't know where it came from in the Christmas episode), and therefore it follows orange is manifesting in his own way.

Furthermore, Logan is not the type of character to turn evil. He has outbursts and is being beaten down but he would never snap for good. If anything, we have seen from Putting Others First that he would only appear as needed if he felt ignored.

Logan is not one to let his emotions make irrational decisions for long, and he almost always goes to make up for his mistakes the moment they happen. He always has Thomas' best interests at heart and has witnessed Virgil realizing force is not the way to go about it.

It makes no sense for his character and there is no reason for it to happen narratively.

Please note that this post is simply a theory and I do not wish to start arguments about if I am right or not. If you are going to provide counterclaims, please do so respectfully and do not clog my notes with your own essay. Thank you!

[mamahersh]

The Road to Hell (is Paved with Good Intentions)

“Season 8 was well underway, and the server’s first conflict is bubbling just under the surface. But BDoubleO can’t worry about that right now because he has an Etho to find so they can work on the Horse Course together. However when Xisuma calls a surprise server meeting on behalf of EvilXisuma, BDubs gets his answers about where Etho’s been in the worst way possible.”

(CW: angst, blood, gore) <--- later chapters, this one’s clean.

Welcome to my first attempt at Ethoslab angst! I wanted an nHo-centric fic with a heavy dose of Etho angst. I have nowhere else to post this, and fair warning I am terrible at characterizations, so everyone will probably be a bit OOC to some extent; but for sure EvilX will be very OOC in how evil he is in this one. The Rating for the later chapters is a solid M, so be warned about that. If y’all have suggestions or feedback, feel free to come and say hi! P.S. I got my inspiration for this fic from this fic over here! Give them some love too.

Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 / Chapter 7

Chapter 1 (below the cut)

BDoubleO was worried. 

Now, it wasn’t often he worried, particularly about Etho. Especially after the shenanigans from Season 5 with the nHo, and their many years of collaboration after that, he was well aware that Etho had a habit of disappearing for weeks on end. Even when he was supposed to be helping with a bit of collaboration work like the Horse Course, he was infamous for suddenly disappearing for a week, and coming back acting like nothing had happened. But even still, Etho usually left a note, or told someone about where he was going so they at least knew when to approximately expect him to show back up. This time though, Etho hadn’t even left Iskall a note, and so far this season he had made sure to at least leave a note for Iskall since they were sharing a base. (BDoubleO had asked Iskall 3 days after the last time he had seen Etho to ask if he knew where Etho was. Iskall didn’t know, though he had seen him 2 days previously puttering around their shared base as normal.) He had asked around the other Hermits, seeing if anyone had heard anything. The only one that had seen anything was Beef, who had said he had seen Etho lurking on the edges of his territory heading toward the top of BDubs’ mountain with a spyglass about a day and a half ago. Doc had mentioned that while he hadn’t seen Etho recently, he had heard that Etho had been busy in talks with Xisuma and Evil Xisuma over something. However, when BDubs questioned Xisuma, he said he hadn’t seen Etho since the last major server meeting. (It was always disconcerting when Hermits’ stories didn’t match up, as that usually meant there were shenanigans afoot. But BDubs couldn’t figure out why there would be shenanigans afoot, because this was just Etho.)

A whinny from Lulu beneath him startled BDubs out of his worries. Looking around he realized that they were already staring up at Xisuma’s lighthouse and general base area. Why were they there you might ask? (A theoretical from a theoretical, truly meta of him, aha) WELL, Xisuma had sent out a message to the server that everyone should come and gather at his base for an important something. BDubs was confused, and very concerned, that Xisuma was insisting on the meeting being in person. After all, any news could be dispensed through the Server messages, and all their bases were known, so boards could be placed at bases for Hermits to see as they came in and out. Meeting in person was never technically necessary, though it made it generally easier to talk with each other since they didn’t have to type everything out. The point stood however, that unless it was an emergency, Xisuma never called a general Hermit assembly outside of their regularly scheduled monthly meetings. 

Looking around, BDubs was able to see that Beef was already there, along with most of the Boatem Crew, and surprisingly enough, the Horsehead Farms guys were there as well. Of course, Doc was on his way, and last he heard, the Big Eye crew was following up behind him since they both had been busy when the announcement had gone out. The rest of the server would be on their way because of how far out they were. (Part of BDubs wondered if those who were coming in later were the lucky ones. The rest of him wondered why he was so filled with anxiety and so certain this meeting was only going to be terrible.) Deciding nothing good would come of dwelling on the negatives, he made his way over to where Beef (who was looking more unrecognizable by the day as the alien contamination overtook him) was standing alone, seemingly keeping his eye out for someone or something.

“Hey Beef!” BDubs called out, smiling and waving as he approached. Beef looked over at the sudden shouting of his name, and instantly relaxed as he saw BDubs approaching. “Hey BDubs!” he called back, something alien layered under his normal voice. (It spoke of void and distant stars, though Tango had recently been saying it reminded him more of sulfur and brimstone). “You know anything about why Xisuma’s called this meetup?” asked Beef before BDubs could ask the question himself.

“Not a clue,” BDubs replied, allowing his concern to show through as he stood ill-at-ease beside his friend. “He just announced he had something he wanted to show or talk to us about I guess, though I can’t imagine what it could be about.” Well, BDubs had a guess or two, but none of them were generally pleasant topics of conversation, outside of some surprise announcement for the next server update to 1.18.

“Darn, I was hoping you would have heard something…” said Beef, his own unease easy to read. BDubs shrugged, looking around at the other groups of players standing outside the Lighthouse. It looked like even in the short time they had been greeting each other, the other Big Eyed Crew had arrived on his tailwind. An awkward pause settled between the two of them, both having been so tied up in their own shenanigans to really know what the other had been up to. BDubs debated bringing up the obvious, but it seemed like one of those things you don’t necessarily bring up. But then again… 

“Yo Beef,” said BDubs, turning to look at Beef again. Beef startled out of his momentary reverie. “You’ve been looking pretty, uh… green recently. How’s that been treating you?”

For a moment Beef looked almost confused, before he seemed to connect the dots and snorted. “Oh yeah, it’s been treating me great, as you can see.” They both chuckled a bit at his sarcasm before he continued. “But in all seriousness, I hadn’t really been noticing it. I mean, I definitely notice that people have been giving me a wider berth this season, which hasn’t been great for business since I have a great idea for selling specialty cat food I can make on my alien ship. I haven’t personally noticed too many changes outside my appearance thus far however.” After a moment Beef said, “So how about you? How have Keralis and Tango been treating you this season?”

BDubs chuckled. “Would you believe it if I told you it’s been going great? I have a mountain already, and we have a small bay town we’re building up to serve as a shopping district for our Big Eye Crew. Plus, we got Tango to actually make his eyes big, so it’s a win all around! Though I’ve been noticing more Derpcoin sneaking into our shops…” 

“Hey now, what’s wrong with Derpcoin?!” exclaimed Beef, looking vaguely offended. BDubs was startled by this, completely not expecting such an outburst from Beef of all people.

“I mean, there’s nothing necessarily wrong with it, it’s just I have no idea what the conversion rate is on the stuff, so I don’t know what people are paying in my shop for the items they’re buying,” replied BDubs. “Plus, there’s nowhere to use it.”

“But there is a place to use it! You could use it at EX’s Evil Emporium. Plus, with more people signing up for Derpcoin, it seems like a lucrative market to sell in,” countered Beef, a strange gleam in his eyes. “EX was nice enough to give me an in into his Derpcoin shopping district, so I’ll have a storefront through the Evil Emporium.” 

"Evil Emporium huh?" BDubs made a considering noise. "Heard a little bit about it back when EX was doing a little sales pitch in our neck of the woods. Seems pretty fishy to me, but if you think it's a trustworthy establishment, I'll definitely give it a second look."

"Attention everyone!" called out Xisuma, suddenly standing in the center of the gathered Hermits. "Your attention please!" BDubs looked over to where X was waving everyone over. He noticed that X seemed abnormally forward, though that could be attributed to his paranoia. Afterall, X wasn’t one to cause problems! Sure he had been trying to get people on board with this Evil Emporium thing pretty hard, but X couldn’t hurt a fly even on a good day, so BDubs wondered if this wasn’t about Derpcoin.

He had been hearing from the other Big-Eyed crew that tensions between Boatem and the Derpcoin empire had been slowly escalating over the last week or so. Plus he had been hearing about more of the unaffiliated Hermits beginning to create close ties with EX’s brand, embracing Derpcoin as their main currency even! On the other hand, he’d been hearing from some of the Boatem people about how they were getting sick and tired of finding Derpcoin in their shops, and seemingly some people were beginning to refuse to pay for items with diamonds… There was a mess brewing for sure in the background this season, it just seemed like an issue that could wait till the next monthly meeting is all.

With a jolt, BDubs was brought back to the present as Doc bumped him in the shoulder. “How are you doing BDubs? Looking pretty lost in thought there, big guy.” 

“Well, doing pretty good if you must ask!” BDubs puffed up with the compliment on his height, despite knowing it was more than likely meant in a sarcastic manner. Between Doc and Etho, BDubs never really could catch a break. “You just get here then?”

Doc let out a rumbly hum in agreement. “Yesss, though I have no idea why Xisuma called the meeting. Know anything?”

BDubs and Beef both shook their heads. “We’re in the dark as much as you are, it seems,” replied Beef, moving towards the other Hermits to try and get their little group to walk and talk.

“I have a theory though!” continued BDubs, leaning in to act somewhat more conspiratorially. Doc leaned in a bit more than he needed to, getting a friendly bump on the head from Beef. “See, I’m sure you’ve both heard a bit more than I have about Boatem vs the Evil Emporium. I think things might be heating up enough between the two that X might be forced to intervene soon.” BDubs rubbed the back of his neck. “Admittedly, it still seems like the kind of thing that he would bring up in the monthly meeting instead of an impromptu meeting like this.”

“Looks like we don’t have to wait long to find out in any case.” Beef gestured at the surrounding Hermits and Xisuma himself still standing at the center looking official as usual. (Though BDubs thought he looked a little dazed, but he shoved the thought aside.)

“Thank you everyone for taking time out for this meeting!” called out Xisuma, his face still disconcertingly empty. “I’ve called you together today because EX had a stream he wanted us all to watch, and I agree it is most imperative we all watch it together.”

BDubs did not like the sound of this one bit. “What’s the stream about?” called Joe from the opposite side of the crowd.

“Yeah, why’s it so important we all have to watch it?” asked Cleo from beside him. BDubs realized that those two had had to travel across the entire continent to come to the meeting, and Joe was still renouncing wings, so taking long trips was a distinct hassle. At the very least, it was far more time consuming than everyone else’s trips had been, minus potentially XB and Hypno’s trip.

Xisuma seemed to stand there taking it silently, which was not necessarily outside of the usual, but his response certainly was. “With that out of the way, I’ll get the screen set up, and then we can watch EX’s stream!” ‘That was strange,’ thought BDubs as he looked around the circle of bewildered Hermits. Normally X would try to answer questions, or at least let them know things precisely before he did them. It was incredibly out of character that he would just ignore Joe and Cleo like that… Particularly Joe and Cleo if BDubs was to be brutally honest. Those three had been closer than three peas in a pod since Season 2, and Joe and X had known each other pretty well since almost the start of Season 1. To have those two brushed off by Xisuma struck a wrong chord.

BDubs was pulled back to the present as Xisuma rapidly typed into his communicator, and a holographic screen projected just beyond the circle of Hermits behind where Cub was standing. Almost as one, the Hermits turned to look at it, curiosity overpowering any potential feelings of lingering confusion and discomfort.

Xisuma’s expression was blank as the large screen buzzed to life in front of them. However, BDubs’ watched as he seemed to come back to himself just as the static on the screen cleared and the assembled hermits gasped in disbelief and horror.

‘Well,’ thought BDubs to himself, dread rising like a wave about to swallow him whole. ‘Now we know where Etho went.’ For there on the screen, looking the worst BDubs had ever seen him, was a restrained Etho beside a seemingly gleeful EvilXisuma.

[mallowstep]

The fact that tiger calls her golden flower...like I ain’t even read the thing but that has me feeling Some type of way....obvs Goldens better off away from him but like, what does Tiger...think/feel idk about her/the situation, if you’ve given it any thought? I’m super curious

i have given it all thought lovely anon.

okay, we're going to put this under a cut.

cw: sexual assault, child abuse, abuser's pov of abuse

ohh i accidentally took a dose of my meds too early i can Feel it that's fine this is fine sorry if i ramble a lot i am Wired.

tigerstar is a fundamentally terrible person. while i have his rationale for basically everything he does, please forgive me for not going in-depth into his perspective. it's not something i generally like doing, and i've already given myself enough tawny fics to indulge that side of this au.

anyway, we're still going to talk about it. just. from a more analytical pov. probably., i don't know. i told you i am Wired. i am. trying to stay on topic instead of rambling about reward centres.

anyway.

tigerstar! goldenflower! okay so. anon ik u said u haven't read mistyfoot's fic, so i'll try to be good and provide good examples. so basically, tigerstar alternates between being angry at mistyfoot and...almost treating her like a mate?

and there's uh. we'll focus on the mates thing for this because the anger thing is a whole different topic. all quotes i'm going to use come from "the blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine," for personal reasons i don't feel comfortable directly linking to it, so you can find it on my ao3. (should be a link on my pinned post, about page, sidebar, etc. there are like 14 links because self Promotion.)

okay so like. misty's first interation with tigerstar and he calls her brave and noble. there's. a lot i could unpack but i'm trying to get to the goldenflower thing. so i'm going to move on, his second significant interaction is:

"With who?" Tigerstar says. His tail flicks to her chin. The sudden gesture of kindness startles her. "Besides, Mistyfoot. If you want to help your Clan so badly, there are better ways you can help."

which ooh boy the tangent cannot be avoided. so okay tigerstar wants power, yeah?

and the thing is, any she-cat can have a position of power he's completely limited from. which is why he manipulates mistyfoot using that, it's a power trip, it's taking that position away from her.

but the reason he fixates so heavily on this is because of...

goldenflower.

he leaves his kits with her because he has no authority over her. or them. my world does not have paternity rights lmao. sorry. different not better.

but that's, uh. yeah wow. he's doing a Lot with that re goldenflower if you want to analyze it from that pov, which we do. goldenflower is a queen, right? we've never seen her to have an apprentice. while i like giving her apprentices, holding to canon here and say, she probably hasn't.

and that's. tigerstar is. he's putting mistyfoot into a similar position as goldenflower so that he can this time have control over the situation.

(maybe that's what he would've done with the kits. take them away from mistyfoot. because he has the power this time. or force her to raise them, knowing that he's going to turn them against her. i don't know. there's a Lot he could have done.)

anyway, so yeah! that's his first interaction. and he's already putting pressure on mistyfoot's value as a queen.

they have some more interactions, but let's jump ahead to

"It's alright," he whispers, like she did not watch him tear Featherpaw open. He wraps his tail around her, pulling her in like he could comfort her, like Featherpaw's blood does not coat his claws.

what's up with this? well, it has a lot to do with how i view goldenflower and tigerclaw's relationship. he's trying to...do a lot. there's a power trip in this, there's a "if i force her to do it enough, maybe she'll do it naturally," there's a lot. and you wouldn't know unless i told you, so you can freely dota, but this is. tigerstar is puling on what his relationship with goldenflower was like. (from his pov.)

and the thing is it works. i'm skipping past some stuff i may or may not circle back to, but it works. i mean it does and it doesn't. it does the way abuse does.

She'd be ashamed of how grateful she was, of how she purred in front of him, of how she didn't even flinch when he ran his temple against her, but none of that matters, not if Featherpaw can eat.

like. god.

so uh. that's a thing.

i was talking on discord about how. tigerstar makes mistyfoot's treatment excruciatingly public for her. and part of his reasoning for this is that goldenflower rejected him. he's a fucked up man.

"reasoning" well it's not, he's not aware of this. but let us...

so there's a scene (before the last excerpt, but after "it's alright"), where it snows overnight. mistyfoot is in tigerstar's den (implied to be overnight), and so he says, "well! sucks to suck, you can't see featherpaw bc of all that snow." basically. and she...

"Please?" she asks, trying not to feel sick when she brushes her temple against his shoulder.

yeah. and he's like, "well, fine, but i'm going to make you walk through all of the snow that like comes up to your back because we are cats, even though you could walk straight across camp where the snow is packed down."

but the thing is, mistyfoot, just like goldenflower, chooses her kit over tigerstar, and he's pissed about that. he...well he's not thinking rationally here, but. this is kind of...so he's forcibly pushing featherpaw and mistyfoot into this isolated relationship where they have no one else, so that mistyfoot will do Anything for featherpaw. that's how he gets mistyfoot's obediance. we see this in one of the earlier scenes:

"Featherpaw isn't well, is she?" he asks. "Mudfur keeps trying to see her, but the guards don't let him in." His whiskers twitch, like this is all a game. "But you know, Mistyfoot. If you were good, if you'd just behave, I think I wouldn't have to worry so much about the guard. And you're always so good when it comes to Featherpaw."

where she's not doing what he wants, and he says this, and he does.

but tigerstar is not a person who loves. so i think he just. doesn't know that when mistyfoot would do anything for featherpaw, she would do anything for featherpaw. she would walk around camp while all of tigerclan watches and mocks her to see featherpaw and know that featherpaw is okay. without a second thought.

and that angers him. because she's not supposed to do that. she is supposed to do what he wants. because it benefits her by benefitting fetherpaw. so he just does not understand their relationship.

and so when mistyfoot chooses to leave him, just like goldenflower, his ability to play house with her is broken. and we get this:

Even with his permission, she is punished for leaving him. Tigerstar barely gives her half a day with Featherpaw before he drags her out again.

and this is another scene where we see that mistyfoot would do anything for featherpaw, because

(He leaves her in the snow until her paws go numb, and she watches as Darkstripe walks Featherpaw to the center of camp. She raises her head, trying to get her apprentice's attention, because even if she must look miserable — at least Featherpaw would know she was trying.

and mistyfoot spends a lot of her fic not acknowledging what's going on. she pretends that featherpaw doesn't know because. it's easier that way. but here, she's wiling to shatter that whole illusion just so that featherpaw knows mistyfoot hasn't abandoned her, that mistyfoot is trying to get back to her.

mistyfoot is in pretty terrible shape here, too. i chose not to state exactly how she's positioned in this scene, but. the intention is not just that the snow itself is cold, but that he's once again humiliating her.

tigerstar. buddy. you don't fucking get it.

mistyfoot doesn't care what you do to her. she will always be trying to get back to featherpaw. everything she does is for featherpaw, not for herself.

(which, aside, but this is not lost on featherpaw. she knows what mistyfoot does for her. some things she doesn't (notably, she's not aware that mistyfoot's demeanour is tied to featherpaw's access to medical care), but she's still deeply aware of this.)

so. anyway. tigerstar punishes mistyfoot for choosing featherpaw over him, and in the middle of that punishment, she once again chooses featherpaw over him.

(no wonder goldenflower didn't want to go with you dude.)

and so he punishes featherpaw, because that's what works. he does a lot of terrible things to mistyfoot, and all that happens is that she fights back. but when he hurts featherpaw, she concedes instantly.

he doesn't get it, he doesn't understand why it's like that, but he doesn't need to in order to manipulate her.

so after this, there's a lot of scenes. but just because you haven't read it, here's mistyfoot coming out and saying what i've just been explaining:

(She can't force herself to be willing be compliant be good and her consolation is that Tigerstar doesn't bring Featherpaw forward to be punished, that he digs his claws in her legs and his teeth in her scruff and it doesn't matter, not if Featherpaw is safe.)

and there's stuff, there's always stuff, but featherpaw's health goes into sharp decline, there's another defying tigerstar scene but it's for a different reason, and then we get to goldenflower moment.

so featherpaw sleeps On Top Of Mistyfoot, for reasons that aren't relevant. but there comes a point where blackfoot comes to bring mistyfoot to tigerstar, and featherpaw is asleep, and we get this moment of defiance:

Blackfoot comes for her when Featherpaw is still asleep. She needs every scrap of it she can get, and Mistyfoot waits until Blackfoot snaps at her for wasting time to rouse her.

but tigerstar finally gets what he wants, because when blackfoot forces the issue, mistyfoot leaves. and from his pov, mistyfoot doesn't even say goodbye to featherpaw.

(she does. it's not directly stated anywhere, but mistyfoot and featherpaw have some very strong nonverbal communication. this is the scene that sets it up, actually, where mistyfoot says goodbye without looking back.)

so from tiger's pov, he's finally gotten mistyfoot to choose him, and this is when

(He calls her Goldenflower, and even he seems surprised by the name.)

happens, and it's when tigerstar finally realizes what's going on.

<3

[aerynwrites]

Job Gone Wrong - Javier Peña x Reader

Author’s Note: How could I resist the urge to use this gif?? ugh, this man DOES THINGS TO ME. Anyway, I was VERY, inspired by this post from @spacedadheadcanons (Thank you so much for letting me use it!) and also thanks to @theforceofdarkandlight pretty much INSISTING that I write this 😂 Love you Lauren you da best ❤ And an even more special Thanks to my beta readers @anniebombannie and @amberthefiredemon y’all are so fun and amazing and make this whole process to much easier! love you guys!

p.s. I do NOT speak spanish. I literally punched stuff into SpanishDict! and hoped for the best lol, so i apologize to everyone who can speak/read spanish this is probably butchered XD

Word Count: 2.8k

Warnings: Reader gets stabbed, mentiosn of blood, sticthes, cursing, re-injury, kising, angst and fluff.

///

You had been partners with Javier Peña and Steve Murphy for a little over a year at this point, and you had managed to get Javier into a relationship within about seven months of that time. To say you were surprised was more than an understatement. You had been pining after your fellow DEA agent pretty much the second you laid eyes on him, but you were quick to learn that he was not a relationship guy. 

He found what seemed like a new woman every night, slept with her, and then kicked her out before the birds started chirping in the early morning light. It was a routine you had learned very quickly due to the horrifyingly thin walls of your shared apartment building. So, when about two months into your transfer, the obscene sounds from next door stopped, it caught you off guard. You had almost wanted to ask Javier about it, but you knew that conversation would be awkward, so you let it be. However, you didn’t fail to notice the extra attention the agent started to give you soon after. The lingering gazes, the gentle grazes he gave your lower back as he scooted by you, and you definitely couldn’t ignore when he started to bring you coffee every morning, prepared just the way you liked. 

Steve let out a low chuckle as Javier walked away after just delivering your morning cup of coffee, having to talk to the ambassador about something.

“What?” you questioned, sipping slowly at the warm drink in your hands.

Steve just shook his head, “You both are just oblivious as hell,” he says, a smirk adorning his lips.

Your brows furrowed together, “What do you mean? He’s just being nice.”

You knew your words were bullshit, but what did Steve expect you to do? Fall down at Javier’s feet and confess your undying love?

Steve rolled his eyes and leaned back in his chair, “You both are like two lovesick puppies but are too stubborn to admit it.”

You shrugged your shoulders, “Yeah well, you know how he is…he doesn’t do the relationship thing. I wouldn’t stand a chance,” you sigh bitterly.

Steve shrugs his shoulders, hands clasped together and resting on his stomach, “I don’t know…a little bird told me that a certain DEA agent has caught feelings for you.”

And that was the day you found out Javier Peña had feelings for you too. You had resolved that day to tell him how you felt, but he had beaten you to it when he knocked on your apartment door with a pizza and beer in hand. 

The rest was history as they say.

Since then, you two had been together happily. You both had flaws you had to work through but you did it together, hell it only took him a couple of weeks to convince you to move in with him since you practically live with him anyways with how much you stayed over. And of all of this lead you here, chasing down two of Escobar’s men through a local Comuna with Steve. Javier had been away for almost a week working with Carrillo on another lead. The news had made both you and Javier upset, never having been away from each other more than a day or two, but you knew it had to be done. So, you both had to settle for phone calls each night instead. But now you were missing Javier even more, he was usually the one to run after targets while you ambushed them, but now that you were the one running after them you realized just how out of shape you were. You had gotten separated from Steve somewhere along the way but had managed to stay on the Narcos’ tail, sighing in relief when you reached a dead end, corning the man in a small courtyard. 

“Pon tus manos arriba donde pueda verlas!” you commanded, gun raised and aimed at the perp in front of you.

He looked at you menacingly before dropping his gun and raising his hands above his head.

“¡ no te muevas!” you say, telling the man not to move as you approached him, gun still aimed while pulling the cuffs from your belt. 

You slowly approached him and commanded him to turn around before grabbing one of his hands and pulling it roughly behind his back, clicking one of the cuffs around his wrist. But before you could get his other hand down, he was ripping it from your grasp and grabbing something from his belt. It all happened so fast. One minute you were about to arrest the guy and the next he had turned around and drove a knife into your side before running off.

You let out a pained gasp as a sharp jolt shot through your side, “Motherfucker!” you cursed, hand immediately pressing into your side as you stumbled slightly, pressing your other hand against the wall for stability. You felt the thick and warm liquid run from your side and through your fingers, coating them in a dark crimson.

“Shit,” you whisper at first, “fuck!” you exclaimed, hand slamming against the wall next to you as the reality of the situation sank in. 

You had just lost your main lead to the case and gotten stabbed in the process, and you didn’t know where Steve was. This was just great. As if he could read your mind, you heard rapid footsteps followed by a familiar voice calling out your name.

“I’m over here!” you call, finally seeing Steve round the corner and his eyes widened at the red stain blossoming on your white shirt, “fucker stabbed me before he ran off,” you hiss as Steve approaches pulling his jacket off and replacing your hand with the fabric instead, trying to staunch the bleeding. 

“Are you okay? Can you walk?” he asks frantically. 

You nod, surprisingly it didn’t hurt all that much, you suppose the adrenaline pumping through you had something to do with that, “Yes, I’m fine, let’s just get the hell out of here before more trouble finds us,” you breathe, and let Steve lead you back to the car.

----

You let out a sigh as you carefully strip off your blood-stained shirt in favor of one of Javier’s clean ones lean back into the multitude of pillows you threw on the bed. Steve had just walked you to your and Javier’s apartment after a trip to the hospital and a dose of painkillers. 

“Remember to take these every six hours, and then your antibiotics twice a day,” Steve reminded you, pressing the bottles into your hands after you unlocked the doors, “And don’t rip your stitches, last thing we need is another trip to the hospital,” he teases.

you roll your eyes, and give the man a mock salute, “Sir, yes sir!” before walking into your apartment and closing the door.

Okay so maybe the painkillers were doing a little more than just taking the pain away. You mostly felt tired, but it was also mixed with a slightly fuzzy feeling in your mind. Just as you were about to crawl under the covers and get some much-needed rest you heard the door to your apartment open and close, followed by the jingling of keys being tossed onto the counter.

“Sweetheart?” Javier’s baritone voice drifted through the apartment.

A smile immediately lit up your face and you quickly, but carefully, swung your legs off the side of the bed and walked into the living room, eyes instantly falling onto a disheveled but relaxed looking Javier.

“Javi! You’re back!” you say, voice thick with relief as you walk over and wrap him in a hug.

His face falls instinctively to the crook of your neck and he takes in a deep breath, “I miss you so much, mi amor,” he whispers, hands coming to rest on your waist as he leaves a soft kiss to the junction of your neck and shoulder.

You can feel him start to push you backwards slightly and you pull away from the embrace looking at him questioningly, “Javi, babe what are you-“ 

Before you can finish Javier pushes you somewhat roughly into the wall behind you, “I couldn’t stop thinking about you while I was gone,” he breathes, mouth moving from you neck to your jaw.

“I missed you too Javier,” you gasp as his mouth finally meets yours, days of longing and emotions poured into this single action. 

Javier’s hands drift from ups up to your sides, gripping you roughly through his thin t-shirt you were wearing, right over your newly injured side. You let out a loud gasp, pleasure and pain, and your foggy mind can’t tell which is more important in this moment. 

“Did you put this one for me?” he asks, voice thick with want and need, “because you look so fucking-“ his words catch in his throat as he squeezes your side once more, and his brows knit confusion as a new and unfamiliar warmth meets his hand. He pulls away from you slightly, ignoring your whine at the loss of contact and his eyes widen at the sight before him. 

His hand is covered in a thin coat of blood, as he pulls it away from the crimson stain on your shirt, “What the fuck? (y/n), what they hell is this?” he exclaims, voice rising several octaves as he takes your wrist in his non bloody hand and pulls it away from your body to get a better look at your now bleeding side.

You let out an indignant huff, “Some asshole stabbed me earlier today, nothing major now-“ you reached out for him again, wanting to feel his lips on your again, “Come here. I can’t even feel it!” you assure.

Javier lets out an angry sigh, shoving your grasping hands away and instead pulls you over to sit on a stool in the kitchen, “Stop! You got fucking stabbed? And you didn’t tell me?” he asks, anger and concern lacing his words as he hurriedly digs under the sink for the med kit he had there.

You roll your eyes, “I’m fine! Plus, I just got home a few minutes before you did, how was I supposed to tell you?” you argue.

Javier doesn’t say anything in return, he instead rushes back over to where you are sitting, med kit in hand. He quickly lifts your shirt up and over your head to inspect the damage. The bandages are soaked completely through with blood and he gently lifts up the bottom edge of your sports bra to unwrap the dirty bandages. 

“Why didn’t you tell me as soon as I walked in the door? It should have been the first thing you told me!” he scolded; voice harsher than he meant for it to be. You sighed and slumped over in your seat slightly, shame filling you at his words, “I’m sorry Javi,” you whisper, hand running through his hair lightly.

His heart was racing at the thought of what happened to you, and the fact that he wasn’t there when it happened. As he unwrapped the last layer, he cringes slightly at the damage he sees. It’s actually not as bad as it seemed, some of the stitches had just ripped from where he had been a little rough with you. he felt a pang of guilt shoot through him.

“No, I’m sorry, look at what I did,” he mutters, pulling the supplies he’d need from the med kit and setting them on the counter. 

You opened your mouth to refute his apology but were silenced with a quick peck to the lips instead. Javier brought a hand up to rest on your cheek and gently ran his thumb over your cheek bone, “Just…let me fix you up okay? Then I’ll order some food and we can relax.” Your eyes found his, flooded with concern but also bursting with love as he stared back at you.

You gave him a small smile, turning your head to press a kiss to the palm of his hand and nodded, “Okay.”

Javier gave you a small smile before kneeling down to your side and set to work on patching you up. He cleaned away the blood before disinfecting the area and carefully placing a few stitches back where they needed to be. He took notice of how you barely flinched as he threaded the needle through your skin and let out a small chuckle before tying a knot and cutting the thread.

“They must have you on some pretty strong painkillers,” he comments, now wrapping the bandages around your torso.

You let out a giggle, “I was telling you the truth when I said it didn’t hurt,” you begin, “But I think I’m just a badass, because it didn’t hurt when I actually got stabbed either,” you say, a large smile on your face. 

Javier finishes wrapping the bandages securing them with some medical tape before standing so you were looking up at him. he let out a small chuckle and gently placed his hands on your hips, “Yeah well you’re my badass,” he says playfully, pulling you in for a sweet kiss. 

You smile into the kiss, his moustache tickling your upper lip slightly before you pull away and rest your head against his chest, sighing contentedly. You both just stayed in that position for a while, his hands on your hips and your arms wrapped loosely around his waist, relishing in each other’s presence after a week of not seeing one another. 

You finally broke the silence, “Can we order from that pizza place a few blocks over? I didn’t realize how hungry I was until you mentioned food,” you said shyly.

Javier just gave you a bright smile and gave you a quick kiss on the forehead before pulling you up from the stool, “Anything for you amado,” he says gently.

You smile at his sweet words and follow him as he leads you over to the couch and sits you down, “Stay here I’ll be right back.” 

You nod and watch as he scurries off the bedroom, emerging moments later in a pair of sweats and a t-shirt, his arms filled with pillows and blankets. You feel your heart swell as he comes over and places the pillows down near the armrest and motions for you to lay down before tossing the blanket over you. you gave him a warm smile as he went to go order the pizza before returning back to the living room and sitting down, pulling your legs into his lap and turning on the TV.

He gently strokes your legs over the covers, and you intertwine one of your hands with his free one, “You’re too sweet to me Javi,” you say quietly.

Javier looks over to you, and shakes his head, “Nothing is ever too much for you mi amor,” he says sweetly before leaning over, mindful of your injured side, and kissing you sweetly before pulling away and taking your hand in his again. 

“I love you Javi,” you say quietly, eyes on the TV.

Javier smiles, squeezing your hand gently as his other hand still stroked your leg slowly, a certain calm peace settling over him as he sat on the couch with the woman he loved.

“I love you too.” 

Bonus:

Steve watched as Javier walked into the embassy the next day, straight to his desk and dialing the phone. He was still as he waited for whoever it was to pick up then he caught Steve’s eye and turned away from him, as they answered. “Hey, yes I know I just left,” he casts Steve another glance and lowers his voice, Steve had to strain to hear the conversation.

 “Did you remember to take your pain killers?” Javier paused, “And the antibiotics?” he paused again, “Yes I know you can take care of yourself, I just wanted to make sure,” he defends, “Okay, yes, I will grab some on the way home, love you,” he says finally and hangs up the phone, turning to return to his desk across from his partners.

Steve gives him a shit eating grin, leaning back in his chair, he opens his mouth to say something, but Javier stops him with an accusing finger, “Not a fucking word,” word he bites. 

Steve fights to hold back a laugh and puts his hand up in mock surrender, “Okay Peña, but I will say I never took you for the mother hen type,” he smirked.

Javier wouldn’t admit it, and he definitely wouldn’t show it in front of the other guys at work, but Steve knew how much he cared about you. He had to hold back another laugh as he ducked to avoid the folder thrown his way, finally laughing at the disgruntled look Javier sent his way.

Oh yeah, he wasn’t fooling anybody...He was smitten.

///

Permanent Tag: @lord-wolfgen @petalduck @sebastianstanslefteyebrow @stillreadingfantasy @jokersdoll​ @simonsbluee​

Pedro Tag: @fleurdemiel145​ @sargesbestgirl @lustriix​ @yeah-boiiiiiiiiiii​ @longitud-de-onda​ @jellyfishpoptart​ @ah-callie​ @mutantsandproud​ @pascalisthepunkest​

[boobtubedude]

Reposting my original “Lost” series finale review

(Originally posted May 23, 2010, on Zap2It. RIP, Zap2It.)

So here’s the deal: this will not be a complete recap of the series finale of “Lost.” To try to make complete and coherent sense of what just dropped our way would be 1) impossible, and 2) be a disgrace to what just happened. Because what just happened isn’t something you instantly react to, but rather mull over during the course of a few days, weeks, months, or years. After all, that was the final episode. We have all the time in the world to think about its implications until we “move on.”

And yes, I use the phrase “move on” specifically due to the use of the phrase by Christian Shephard in the sideways universe, which we know now to be real only in the emotional sense of the world. All throughout the season, the producers of the show have assured us that what happens over there had stakes and meanings, and this is still completely true in the most basic of senses. Neither the pro-epilogue camp nor the pro-Island timeline had it exactly right, even though both camps had valid perspectives to bring to the table and pieces of the puzzle in hand. What “Lost” brought instead was a third perspective, one that nobody really saw and one that I bet made a core section of its audience completely and utterly insane with anger.

Looking at the finale from a perspective of mythology isn’t the best way to go about it. (I started to jot down “So who put the stone in the devil cave in the first place?” before slapping myself silly.) Looking at the finale from a perspective of plot probably isn’t the best ay, either. (Waaaaay too much time spent on getting Ajira 316 up and running again, especially considering the sideways resolution. And there are enough holes in the overall plot as a whole to dig a few dozen wells down towards the light inside all of us.) But looking at it from an emotional perspective, I thought the finale was a masterpiece.

In a sense, “The End” was a love letter from the show to itself and, hopefully, to the audience as well. But it didn’t pay off donkey wheels and Dharma Initiatives but the core characters of the show themselves. The sideways universe did offer a second chance, but not in the way that those that saw the sideways world as a chance to live their lives free from the Island. Instead, it offered each character a tremendous grace note, one felt both by the characters but also the audience at home. When these people “flashed” to their Island lives, they didn’t flash to epic moments in Island history: they flashed to empty jars of peanut butter and freshly picked flowers and all the small moments that make up a relationship.

If the show had to get one of three aforementioned elements right (character, mythology, plot), then it absolutely focused on the right one. As of this moment, writing in the immediate aftermath of what I just saw, I could care less about what happened to Kate and Company once they left the Island. The point of the show seems to be that what you do is less important than the meaning behind what you do. And moreover, if you live those lives in the correct manner, then the specifics are null and void. In the end, you arrive at the same destination. (In Richard’s case, you arrive there with newly graying hair, and the chance to actually buy the eyeliner you’ve long been accused of using.)

Now, let’s talk about that sideways destination itself. If put on the spot, here’s what I think we’re supposed to take away from it: As Island Protector, Hurley envisioned a way to give a gift back to those with whom he shared his time on the Island. Mother had her style, Jacob had his style, and Jack had his extremely interim style. But placing Hurley in ultimate charge of the Island? Brilliant, and not just because I predicted this last Fall and am happy I got at least SOMETHING right.

He’s the absolute perfect person to take the Island from what it was (something to be protected) into what it should be (something to be shared). In a show full of selfish people, Hurley is the epitome of unselfishness. Go back to the pilot episode: he’s distributing food on the first night (including a double dose for Claire, eating for two at the time). In “Everybody Hates Hugo,” he once again institutes a massive redistribution of foodstuffs. In both the Island timeline and sideways one, he uses wealth as a means to help others, giving away his cash rather than hang onto it. So having him established as the final Protector of the Island that we see (though, I imagine, not the final one by any means) worked for me.

What I imagine did not work for a LOT of you is the fact that we’ve spent one-half of the final season of the show watching events that would have been solved in “LA X” had Haley Joel Osment been on the flight. It’s a feeling that I have sensed coming for a while: the sideways world was doing such a damn good job of providing emotionally resonant moments that it eventually turned into an overwhelming attractive option for both the characters and the viewers. In fact, it turns out that the major players had absolutely no problem moving on once they made their emotional connections/breakthroughs, and instead willingly moved onto whatever lies on the other side of that white light.

As such, I look at the sideways world now as something created by Hurley (with Ben’s help) as a stopping ground for all major players in the “Lost” universe to meet at once, irrespective of when or how they died. As Christian says, there is no “now” over there. Time is just a relative construct created by people who are used to seeing events progress in a linear manner. What does Hurley ever want? For his friends to be happy! So what does he do? Well, he doesn’t build a golf course, he builds a space for them to somehow connect after shuffling off their mortal coil and all end up getting the moments of happiness that eluded them, making connections that had been previously missed, and getting forgiveness once thought impossible. They don’t have to be alive to have these things matter once achieved in the sideways universe, which is why I was behind the ultimate explanation 100%.

In the end, electromagnetism had nothing to do with the sideways world. There was no Faustian bargain between Eloise Hawking and The Man in Black. I’ve spent the second half of the season (ever since “Happily Ever After”) arguing that theory, and I’m delighted to be wrong. Why? It’s easier to buy “Hurley’s gift” as a reason as opposed to trying to throw Schroedinger’s cat as a reason for the sideways world. And that “gift” yielded scene after scene in the sideways world that reminded us all why we care so much about this show: its characters. I’m sure everyone had their particular favorites: for now, I’m putting Sawyer/Juliet in the pole position with Charlie/Claire as a surprising second. I’ll take scenes like this over lengthy exposition of the true nature of the glowing cave any day.

It’s obviously easy to say, “Well, the characters are happy, so we should be happy.” But clearly it’s not that simple. After all, these characters are fictional, constructs of the writing staff, whom I am sure went into hiding knowing that there would not only be questions but flaming torches/pitchforks aimed their way once this episode dropped. If we didn’t care about these characters, then there wouldn’t be such anger. Either you read interviews and now feel deceived, or you’re generally displeased that our characters are all dead. I’m not going to tut-tut you from that perspective, since it’s your perspective and you’re totally welcome to it.

To me, anything in the sideways world ended up being something of a bonus, both a meta-level and a narrative level. The show didn’t do the one thing I prayed it wouldn’t: negate the sacrifices and deaths on the Island timeline for some sort of reboot/do over in the sideways timeline. So, we got to see really interesting combinations and remixes of existing characters in unusual settings, with those settings driven by a combination of subconscious psychological desires and latent psychological holdups. (Kate sees herself as the innocent victim, rather than an actual killer, but is still on the run. Sawyer fashions himself a do-gooder, but is still unable to shake the memory of his parents. Jack invents a domestic life he never had, inserting a new body in his life in the form of a son to replace the father he could never find.)

On a character level, the sideways world allowed these characters the chance to let go in ways that they were unable to do in their actual lives. To fault the show for creating such a space when we have so often lamented the unfairness or abruptness of their deaths seems a bit hypocritical to me. For example, let’s take Sun/Jin. Many howled when they died, unable to believe two seasons apart boiled down to one episode; many others noted that it didn’t move them, due to the couple being alive in the sideways world. Turns out, the sideways world gave them another chance to “be together,” as the latter group suspected, but also honoring the sacrifice that tore up the former. I’d love to call this win/win, but I’m not sure I’d get many takers on this.

Let’s take another example: John Locke. Here’s a man that died a potentially pitiful death in “The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham,” only to have his life honored and vindicated in the finale. Without inspiring Jack, the good doctor doesn’t return to the Island, and never becomes Protector, and never stops The Man in Black, and never passes off the torch to Hurley who in turn creates a special world in which Locke not only gets to have the relationship with Jack they never had on the Island, but also gets to forgive his murderer. I could give a flying fig about the other people on the outrigger if I get payoffs such as this instead.

And, as many of us suspected, the show closed on a familiar image, in a familiar place. Some might find fault with the heart of the Island being so near the place where the show started, but if The Island has taught us anything, it’s that looking and seeing are two different things. Charlie couldn’t “see” his guitar until he chose to give up his drugs. The cave is no different: Jack couldn’t see it until he was ready to see it. That’s the work he had to do all along. By bookending the series around a man opening up his eyes to the unknown and closing them as a man who learned what it meant to truly live, “Lost” encapsulated its’ primary thematic concern: what it means to live and learn through other people. They lived together, and none of them died alone. Not in the end. Perfect.

I’ve tried to thematically address the biggest issues/ideas of tonight’s episode. I realize I am short on specifics, but I also realize that there’s probably a huge need on your part to talk about this episode as quickly as possible. So I’m going to end things here, but know that this is just the beginning. Over at Zap2it’s Guide to Lost, we’re going to spend all week looking back at this episode, and by extension, the series itself. Next week, we’ll be continuing our look back at this ambitious, epic, emotional, imperfect, messy, glorious, unique show. I look forward to hearing your comments below, and I look forward to continuing the discussion with you further over on the blog throughout the week.

[ladymdc]

Wandering in the Dark

Well, I finished it.

Pairing: Cullen Rutherford x F!mage Trevelyan (Noir AU/dark future/1930s) Rating: Explicit (for occasional smut, like 3 instances) Word Count: ~75,500 Chapters: 19/19 Summary: In a world on the verge of collapse, C.S. Rutherford did what he could to survive, at least until a routine case led him down a path he never expected to cross, and a dame with dark verdant eyes and a sharp wit strode into his office.

With nothing as it seemed, including her, perhaps it all wasn’t as hopeless as he thought.

Read it from the beginning - here & I have included CH.1 under the cut for funsies. ((For those who have been keeping up with it, I’ve included a direct link to the CH18 & I’m sure you can find the final chapter from there :D))

Special thanks to the following people: @laraslandlockedblues​, @windysuspirations​, @kawakaeguri​, @machatnoir​, @softlyue, @fadetastic​, @laurelsofhighever​, & @mssaboteur​ ❤️ ❤️ ❤️ I may not talk to all of them every day or at all anymore, but I wanted to say thanks for supporting/encouraging me in some way at some point in this journey. I sincerely couldn’t have done this without you. 

The Resistance was irretrievably over; everything that could have been done had been done. He had never thought they would succeed, only a fool would believe they could, but he had never thought he would live to see the day the last Theirin was wiped from the face of Thedas.

This wasn’t the first time such rumors circulated, but it would be the last. Front and center on today’s paper was undeniable proof. The Theirin family crest affixed to the lapel of Amladaris’ suit jacket was a subtle but devastating blow to anyone still clinging to hope the Golden Age would someday return.

It had been over a decade since he last saw Alistair, but the loss stung no less for it. Perhaps even more so knowing the last words spoken to the man he once called a Brother were venomous and full of resentment. Now, there would never be an opportunity to correct that wrong, but it wasn’t like he had been going out of his way in an attempt to do so anyway. All that was left was to hope Alistair’s death was quick and painless. Though based on the sinister curl of Amladaris’ lip, it was anything but.

The thought did nothing for the migraine that had been plaguing him all morning. In addition to the throbbing tendrils taking root deep in his skull, there was also a slight halo around objects, a shimmery haze that wasn’t precisely seeing double but close enough to be an annoyance. It was one of those post-lyrium side effects he’d long since come to terms with. Once the coup took place, it was either risk injecting a tainted dose or quit.

It was an easy decision.

Automatically, he popped some aspirin into his mouth, swallowed it dry and reached for a cigarette. He tapped it twice on the desk and tucked it into the corner of his mouth before he brought the cupped lighter up, despising the slight tremor of his hands. He smoked in long, steady pulls. Repeatedly, his gaze dropped to the newspaper before him then at his watch to read the time as if it would somehow make it move faster. Eventually, the pounding in his head subsided only to be replaced by the telltale click-clack of high heels.

His interest was instantly piqued, and it had nothing to do with the shapely silhouette he could discern through the frosted glass. A lot could be determined by someone’s gait. The speed and force of their steps and the sounds it produced could indicate a wide array of emotions. This client didn’t possess the terrible wrath of a woman wronged nor the hesitant curiosity of one who suspects. She appeared to exude an air of calm indifference. A rare thing in a world gripped by fear and ruin.

Then, without one iota of hesitation, the door opened.

The woman was beautiful; her wavy, brunette hair smooth and shining. Her full lips an agreeable shade of ruby red. Her dark verdant eyes boldly held his gaze. Something flashed in their depths, green and bright, but then she blinked, and it was gone. One corner of her mouth lifted lazily.

“Rutherford.”

He could feel a sudden heat on the back of his neck at the way his name rolled off her tongue but was determined to pretend it wasn’t there. Her accent was Marcher, mixed with something else he couldn’t quite place.

She shut the door and took a seat in one of the two intentionally uncomfortable, wooden chairs before him. The woman looked at him expectantly.

Rutherford cleared his throat and mashed his cigarette into Amladaris’ left eye. “It seems I’m at a disadvantage, Miss—“

The marginal quirk of her lip became almost amused. “Trevelyan.”

His gut locked up; bile burned in his throat. Rutherford pressed his finger and thumb into the corners of his eyes. Trying to stamp out the visions swimming through his mind. It had been three years since Lord Protector Sethius Amladaris took control, and not a day went by that he was reminded of his unknowing role in the coup.

Having the propensity to keep his head down and work, he took notice something was off much too late. By the time Hawke stormed into his office to scream scathing accusations of his involvement, the damage had already been done. Lyrium tainted with Red had been injected into a majority of their ranks at evening rations. Red not only warped the mind but after the first hit, there was no turning back for without it there was only death. With only one source for the terrible substance available, turning the Order against country and crown was simple.

Only those with rank were given a choice. General Trevelyan was the first to refuse. Rutherford, the second. The difference, however, was only he lived because by way of answer, Rutherford put a bullet between Major General Stannard’s Red-tainted eyes.

Meeting the late General Trevelyan’s daughter’s inquisitive stare, he scraped his bottom teeth over his top lip where the scar from escaping the ordeal was. There was a brief flash of prickling numbness. He immediately regretted drawing attention to it as her eyes briefly roamed over his mouth. The room suddenly felt far too warm. It would be easier not to make eye contact, but it would be cowardly to look away.

Rutherford yanked on the knot of his tie to loosen it. “Why are you here?” It came out much harsher than he would have liked.

She ignored the outburst. “I have use of someone with your talents.”

“Talents?” He scoffed, fishing out another cigarette. The dregs of his migraine were flaring up with force.

“Yes, talents,” she insisted.

Twice, he tapped the cigarette on the desk. “And what might those be?” As far as he was aware, failure and survival were his only ‘talents.’ He had an odd propensity for both.

“We both know why you keep checking your watch.”

Despite the seriousness of her insinuation, he couldn’t help smiling. “And what makes you think you know anything about me?” He asked before fitting the cigarette in his mouth and lighting it.

“Are you sure you want to play this game?” she asked, plucking off some unnoticeable piece of offense from her charcoal grey skirt before returning her dark green eyes to his amber. “Because I do know everything about you.”

Rutherford leaned back in the chair and crossed ankle over knee. “Please.” He blew his smoke out defiantly. “Do tell.”

She smiled tolerantly though his cigarette smoke. “Cullen Stanton Rutherford, the second eldest child of four. Mia, the eldest, your brother Branson, and Rosalie the youngest. You joined the Royal Order the day you turned eighteen. At twenty, you took your first lyrium dose, and your parents died that same year as the Blight ran rampant through the countryside. Then came Kinloch—”

“Enough,” he gritted out. A breath hissed out of him, and he turned his head to avoid her piercing gaze. It took a while before he noticed the dull ache in his jaw from clenching his teeth as he glared at the newspaper displaying the result of his most devastating failure.

“He’s alive you know,” she said, tipping her chin toward the paper.

“No shit.”

Trevelyan made a sound that could have been a laugh. “Don’t be thick.”

“I’m not. I—“ He sat up a little straighter when Trevelyan suddenly stood but didn’t rise as he should have.

“You are,” she insisted as she braced one arm on the desk and leaned over. Her long, flowing locks fell over her shoulder. The scent of her, sweet and floral with notes of something akin to spring rains, wafted his direction. Briefly, it overpowered the smoke thick in the air around him. Rutherford was momentarily struck a little dumb by it.

The motion of her hair drew his attention away from her face toward… other assets. The neckline of her white blouse cut dangerously low and there was little for him to do but glare at her when she looked up at him from beneath her lashes. He knew what she was doing, and he hated it worked so easily, especially because he jumped a little when the silk of her glove brushed his fingers.

Smirking, Trevelyan placed his cigarette between her lips and tucked something into his hand. The metal was warm, and he errantly wondered how warm she’d feel, but then his thumb reflexively ran along the familiar grooves.

His stomach bottomed out. “This could be any coin,” he snapped, holding the silver and gold coin between finger and thumb for emphasis.

“It could,” she agreed. “But it isn’t. Did you know you’re bleeding?” With the cigarette pointing down and held between thumb and middle finger, she touched the very tip of her nose.

Rutherford scrambled to find a handkerchief, but his shirt was already ruined. While he attempted to clean himself up and staunch the flow, she took one long drag and held the cigarette back out to him. He hesitated to take it, distracted by the bright red imprint of her lips upon it.

After a moment of inaction, she leaned forward and placed it between his slightly parted lips and a quiet thrill ran through him at her forwardness. The faint taste of her only served to agitate him further, and she knew it.

That semi-amused curve to her mouth was back. “I can always find someone else, so come along or don’t, it matters not to me. Either way you have your luck back. Perhaps that’s all that’s been missing all these years.” At that she buttoned a single button on her jacket, further accentuating the curve of her waist and the swell of her breasts, and departed.

The woman never even hinted at what she wanted from him. Like the eye of storm, she was serene and a tad refreshing, but then left chaos and destruction in her wake. His mind was positivity reeling at what she vaguely suggested as he was left with far too many questions and not a single answer.

Rutherford owed Alistair his life. If it weren’t for the Wardens, he would have rotted in Kinloch. At the time, he felt there was nothing to thank them for. The mistakes he made were too grave, the horrors endured too fresh, and his wounds still weeping. Time healed the latter. The former two points, however… Well, they never left, and only more had been added over time. But if there was a way for him to take something he fucked up and make it right, he shouldn’t still be sitting there.

He snuffed the cigarette out on Amladaris’ right eye. There were few things he needed to grab, all within reach. Smokes, lighter, jacket and his emergency bag which contained an assortment of necessities and a good deal of cash should the regime ever care to come after him again. Within moments he was able to rush after her.

“Wait! I—“ he came to a grinding halt at the sight of her leaning against a car expectantly.

“Well, that didn’t take long did it?” Her voice was full of dry amusement.

He scowled. “Shut up.”

“And here I thought you’d be glad to see I waited.” Trevelyan’s pout shifted into something openly appraising as her gaze blatantly raked up his body. “I know I’m glad to see you’re interested.”

He was blushing. Knew he was blushing and the laziest smile he’d ever seen blooming across her lovely face did nothing to alleviate it. Rutherford pinched the bridge of his nose because that… that was dangerous. His entire body had heated through, and it had everything to do with the way she seemed to know how to push all of his buttons.

She laughed then, a high and bright sound that made his hand drop reflexively. Her smile widened a little when their gazes locked once again. His heart was racing, and he was confused as to why.

“Alright grump,” she chirped, opening the passenger door. “Get in. We’ve got a long drive ahead of us.”

Her laughter and choice of address were unexpected, and he felt himself breathing out a small huff of amusement as he stepped off the curb and reached in to toss his bag into the backseat. “What did you just call me?”

“Grump.”

“No. Don’t. I don’t like it,” he said, voice muffled from trying, in vain, to wipe away the stupid grin stretching across his face as he stood straight. The smile felt odd, maybe because it felt real.

“Are you sure? It seems like you do very much.”

What he did like, oddly enough, was how her standing on the curb put her almost face to face with him. “I really don’t.” He shook his head, smile finally fading away. “Preferably Rutherford, or Cullen if you must.”

“Alright, Cullen,” she said very slowly as if savoring the feel of his name in her mouth. She extended out a gloved hand. “Preferably Evelyn, or Trevelyan if you must.”

It took him a moment, almost a moment too long but he accepted. It wasn’t a handshake, it was something else, and it bothered him. He abruptly pulled his hand back and clenched it into a fist at his side to prevent himself from wiping it off on his pants.

Her expression shifted. It was subtle, but Rutherford breathed a little easier at the hardness in her eyes for the last thing he deserved was anyone’s warmth or acceptance no matter how much he may want it deep down.

[nicholas-wolfwood]

Who doesn’t love soul-crushing angst? Send me a 💔 and I’ll generate a number, 1-75, and post a starter based on what scenario I get. - Seto

For Sick Fucks Who Hate Happiness

34. Your muse dies in my muse’s arms.

They’d been stupid. Absolutely stupid. 

It had been a trap; of course it had been a trap. Looking back it should have been obvious, but how could they have expected those two monsters were working together?!

Wolfwood growled low in his throat at the sight of his old Master standing (so to speak) next to Gozaburo Kaiba, both of them looking smug enough to punch, as the three mutated Eye members moved to block the exit behind them. He was silently grateful that Mokuba was back at the mansion, but cursing the fact that Seto had come here as well. Not a shock, seeing as the call had been directed towards the young CEO in the first place, but he should have knocked the man out and gone alone, dammit! He could yell at him later, but at least he’d be out of danger!

The priest was tense, glancing between Seto and Gozaburo as the two spoke (or rather snarled) with each other, not surprised when the fat bastard demanded the company, but starting slightly when he was included in the demands. Seto was stubborn, of course (and he had to admit he felt a bit impressed with how firmly he’d shut the “negotiations” down), and Chapel wheeled forwards, shaking his head.

“It’s a shame you refused our previous ‘offers’, young Kaiba, violence could have been avoided. You had potential, even I can see as much. Such a waste... but I think it’s time to take back what you’ve stolen from your father… and myself.” Icy grey eyes fixed on the priest next to Seto, greed and possessiveness evident in the old man’s face. Nick bristled at being referred to as mere property, a mindset both Vash and the brothers (Mokuba, especially) had been able to break him out of, and he had no intention of going back.

Just when he was about to say as such to his old Master (along with a generous dose of “go fuck yourself!”), he froze then a third figure made itself known, leaping from the shadows to land between the two older men and their targets, towering over all of them with teeth bared in a manic grin:

Razlo Tri-P of Death was here.

“We’re going to give you one more chance.” Chapel spoke, knowing he and Gozaburo were in control of the situation. “Resign the company back to your father, and hand Nicholas over, and you’ll be allowed to leave. Quickly, if you would, I’d like to get him back under the knife as soon as possible.”

Nick froze at that, shivering in disgust at the thought of this man operating on him again, especially while allied with Gozaburo Kaiba. He was shaken from his thoughts, looking up in surprise when Seto moved to place himself in front of him. A blatant refusal. Chapel’s eyes narrowed.

“Very well. Tri-P of Death. Your orders are to secure Nicholas by any means necessary.” Chapel commanded. “Kill the thief if you have to. Maybe his younger brother will be easier to deal with when we bring the brat his brother’s head.”

He could see Seto tense, the man pushing him back to stay behind him (stubborn idiot), but the priest put a firm hand on his shoulder to get his attention, shaking his head.

“He ain’t someone’ you can handle. Get behind me, an’ whatever you do, stay outta his line of sight.” He whispered to Seto, deadly serious. “Don’t do anything stupid. He’s on another level, even for me.”

Razlo’s grin widened as Nicholas stepped forwards, this time in front of Seto, eyes dark with anger and bloodlust. The two assassins squared off.

Wolfwood and Razlo clashed violently, Nicholas ensuring he stayed between the beast and Seto, not allowing him to get an opening. Blood sprayed, bones cracked, teeth bared, the two were moving so fast it was difficult to keep up. One thing was easy to see however; Razlo had the upper hand. Not only was he stronger, faster, and much bigger, but Wolfwood was fighting with a handicap; unable to move freely in order to keep shielding the man behind him, and had taken a few bullets to the shoulder and legs in the process. But despite this, the smaller of the two killers was putting up one hell of a fight, moving with a grace and viciousness he hadn’t had to resort to in a long time. It was quickly becoming clear why the old man had become so obsessed with his potential.

It was okay. Razlo’s orders weren’t to kill him, he could think of a way out of this! So long as Seto stayed behind him…

He wasn’t sure what happened, whether Seto had tried to get out of the way, whether he’d tried to make a diversion, to even Nick’s odds, or simply moved without thinking. Either way, by the time he noticed the brunet was out in the open, a grinning Razlo had already raised his gun and fired. Despite lunging forward, he knew he wouldn’t reach him in time- even if he hadn’t been as injured as he was, he wasn’t fast enough.

“GET DOWN!!!”

It was too late. He watched in horror as the bullets tore through the young CEO’s torso, sending him collapsing to the ground. Nick finally reached him, sliding to his knees to catch him, to keep his head from hitting the ground. A gut shot. Slow, and painful.

“You- You IDIOT!!” Nick could hear Razlo laughing from the ground behind him, but paid him no mind, instead yanking his own blood-soaked jacket off to put pressure on the worst of the wounds in a desperate, futile hope to stop the bleeding. “The fuck were you thinking?! If you’d jus’ stayed put…! I told you, I can take more bullets than you can! Let ME get shot, dammit!” He was panicking as the brunet’s blood quickly soaked the jacket, blue eyes staring up at him as their owner’s face quickly lost color. 

“No, no no no nonono, c’mon, you’re too fuckin’ stubborn to go out like this! You gotta get back to Mokuba! You know he needs you! Jus’- Jus’ keep your eyes open, I-I’ll think of something, dammit!!”

God, no. This couldn’t be happening…

Razlo, it seemed, had grown tired of being ignored and grabbed the priest by the injured shoulder, yanking him back and into two of the mutated freaks he kept around from the Eye, who instantly seized him by the arms, and despite struggling to pull free- to get back to the injured man on the ground, their grip didn’t budge.

“DAMMIT, MOKUBA NEEDS YOU!!” Nick cried as he was pulled back, desperation in his voice. “GET UP!”

“Bring him here.” Master C’s voice cut through his panicked haze, the smug victorious smirk almost audible in his tone, and Wolfwood doubled his efforts to get free as he was dragged back away from the brunet’s body, towards the two responsible for this hell.

“YOU’RE GONNA LET THIS BEAT YOU?! WEAKLING! COWARD!! GET UP!! PLEASE!!!” 

He was still shouting as he struggled, as if desperately hoping Seto would somehow get back up from his insults just to prove him wrong like the stubborn asshole that he was. It was all in vain.

Still yelling and fighting as he was dragged dragged to his master and Gozaburo, he was helpless to watch as the life slowly left those blue eyes.

[theinquisitivej]

SteamHeart Episode 20 Reactions

Chapter Twenty: Off-Road Warriors

You can listen to the full episode here.

Well damn, that was an intense dose of adrenaline via audio, wasn’t it?

Raven immediately sets the foreboding tone, a notable change from the sweet tranquillity of the previous chapter’s closing moments. His grave description of the convoy of Mad Max-looking scary-crazy-bastards (and yes, this is about to be a Steampunk Fury Road episode, and you should have no objections to that) coming over the horizon sells the real danger that these men represent. The language paints a captivating yet frightening picture of demented vehicles, using harsh consonants to convey the sturdiness of these reinforced crafts, and hissing adjectives to emphasise the sharp, hostile shapes of these clawed, pointed carriages. Best line of the section is certainly “nothing was uniform save for the manifestly apparent expulsion of normality”. It instantly cements the chaotic, violent mindset of the men approaching the mine.

         These men call themselves the Southern Cross. Among their number is a man who’s fashioned himself into a bear (the talons fixed to his limbs make me think of a twisted, older and more cruel version of Miguel and his mongoose claw), and, as the band blows their own war trumpets in an act that is as aggressive as it is indicative of their own inflated self-importance over others, the ensuing danger becomes intensified, and chillingly unavoidable. We get the first glimpse of their leader, who wears a horse’s skull and appears to fancy himself a pale rider of death with the white, bone-like motif of his carriage and horses (I’m picturing Overwatch’s Reaper in both appearance and edgy lack of self-awareness). A lieutenant riding ahead of the pack addresses Raven. While Raven is the one who embodies the more dignified aspects of the bird with whom he shares his name, this lieutenant is the one who resembles a squawking, shrill parrot, wearing a beaked plague doctor’s mask and shrieking demands at Raven. He claims that “the Lord of Brimstone” has arrived. Oh this is going to go well.

             Raven dashes inside, hurriedly relaying the situation to the others. Within minutes, the few remaining mine workers and the team have brought Tabitha, who, lest we forget, is still going through labour (but still exhibiting her leadership skills even now by issuing orders, reinforcing that whole theme I talked about last time about motherhood / pregnancy not getting in the way of authoritative women being damn good at their jobs), inside SteamHeart. They don’t have enough soldiers to defend this post, and help isn’t coming, so things are looking grim. Even so, Annie assures us that “we’re not dying here like rats in a trap. Hell, that’s like, my one rule.”, and Laureta Sela’s delivery of that second part alleviates some of the tension by getting a chuckle out of me with that great line. As the group approach the gates, however, the pressure of the situation is once again felt as Harry informs the team that, even with SteamHeart’s technological superiority, it will take some serious damage if it charges headfirst into the enemy through the gate, and likely won’t be able to break free of them if it does so.

         Annie starts a dialogue with them through the loudspeaker. Abigail wanted to try, demonstrating her continuing desire to work on being a better figure of authority after giving the speech to the theatre a few chapters back, but Annie bluntly shoots that down as she knows they’ll have a better chance if she takes charge of this. Even so, it goes about as well as you’d expect – they don’t heed Annie’s firm warnings, and spout off rhetoric that, in addition to being violently psychotic, is grossly suggestive. Both the birdman and horse leader demand they “open wiiiide, each and every one of you; we are coming in!” Eeurggh… fuck these guys.

         The team devise a plan of escape after Jae-Hyun proposes he opens the gate to give the rest of them a chance, acknowledging the certainty that this will result in his own death. His brushing of Tabitha’s cheek indicates the loyalty and love he has for his leader who he will lay down his own life for. He steps out of SteamHeart to meet his fate, adjusting his hat as he does so; if clothes maketh the man, then this act highlights the dignity of this man in the face of these monstrously dressed, hollow creatures who call themselves men. The Southern Cross enter the mine after Hyun opens the gates, and the plague doctor spouts more inane speeches about surrender being the sensible choice in the face of such a rapturous occasion (resembling a combination of Loki in the first Avengers saying “isn’t this so much easier?!”, and a Jim Sterling character). In an instant, Harry springs SteamHeart into action, shooting forward and knocking horses and riders aside as it does so. The episode has been building anticipation to this moment – things are going to kick off hard.

         Jae-Hyun pulls the squawking doctor off his horse, and the response of arrows shot in his direction kills both men, though only the doctor meets his death with a scream. I’m torn on Jae-Hyun’s death, as it feels as if we were barely just starting to get to know this coolly tempered character, and the stern composure with which he met his death makes him someone I wish we got to spend more time with. However, I also think a character like this really helps heighten the stakes of the ensuing sequence, as well as hammers home the point that the victory of our heroes doesn’t come without sacrifice. The resilience Jae-Hyun showed as he met his death in order to save the lives of others, while still demonstrating a fighting spirit that showed he was a man who wouldn’t let monsters like these do what they wanted without retribution, makes the most of the small amount of time we spend with him. If we were to have a character with such a journey within SteamHeart, and I think that both the sequence and the story as a whole are stronger for it, I’m also glad that a specific effort is made to make this character not just a generic white guy. Instead, it’s a character of Asian descent who clearly has a defined look, style, and personality outside of what we see of him here in this book. It gives the world and the people in it a little more dimension, and reminds us that the way forward toward a more heroic and noble world is through unity and collaboration between all of us. That’s how we get to see the best of humanity. But for the worst of humanity, like the racist, murderous Southern Cross, it’s pretty satisfying to see someone of a different ethnicity literally pull them off their horse and, when it comes down to it, show that they are the better man when they each meet their deaths.

         Anyway, back to the action – I’ll do my best to make my writing engaging and analytical, but to be frank, it’s so easy to lose myself in the flow of this sequence. It’s tense as hell, compelling, features detailed description of well-choreographed action, the voice actors are all delivering their lines with pitch-perfect urgency and intensity, and all of this is packaged together (in this audio version of the book) with some truly immersive editing and sound effect choices. It’s the best action sequence of New Century to date.

         As SteamHeart breaks away, the Southern Cross give chase, abandoning their initial goal of the mine as they now want the technology of their craft, as well as to take out their frothing anger on the crew. The grassland beneath them is uneven, which isn’t good for Tabitha during all of this, so James urges Harry to seek the smoothest route. Individual horse riders catch up and start flinging projectiles at SteamHeart’s glowing cables, which you have to imagine is a weak point of the craft (kind of like those glowing spots on a videogame boss). Annie and Butler take position in SteamHeart’s sniping openings. Abigail and Jeremy are handing out ammo and hammering out any projectiles which pierce the hull of the craft, showing that this thing isn’t impervious to damage, and will fall if it takes too much. Harry is doing a mixture of evasive and ramming manoeuvres, resulting in some awesome displays of destruction as enemy carriages splinter, flip, and crash. God, this is good stuff to listen to.

         James takes over narration from Raven (incidentally, Raven was a good choice for this first part, as his journalistic ability to report the specifics of events puts you right in the action of this sequence). He recruits Jeremy, instructing him to sterilise some linens using steam from the craft’s internal pipes. Tabitha grips James’ hands as she fights the pain, and the two “breathe together”, something Harry and Tabitha did at the end of the last episode – there’s a lot of power in matching and sharing the breathing of someone else as they go through something hard that pushes them to the edge. James hides nothing from Tabitha when she asks him if he’s delivered many babies before; he’s assisted on several occasions, but this is the first time he’s delivered one himself. But even as weapons hammer the hull next to them, James assures with compassionate determination that they’re going to do this right, and that there will be another “little person in the world” in a short while, which is how they’re going to survive. It’s an exchange of nervous fear as everything happens around them, mixed with hopeful resilience.

         We switch to Annie. An approaching enemy vehicle has attached lassos to SteamHeart. Abigail, Harry, and Annie take this in, realise how they need to counter this, and brace themselves; SteamHeart builds energy in a roaring moment of anticipation before Harry jams the wheel and hammers the breaks, making the back of SteamHeart swing like an almighty pendulum, smashing the enemy vehicle in a spectacular moment of destruction.

         Now the Bear (whose cries make him sound like Tom Hardy’s Bane) and his vehicle are coming down on them. One of the Southern Cross leaps onto the windshield and embeds his tomahawk in the window and narrowly misses Harry. The proud mechanic indignantly cries out that these fuckers are “tearing my baby apart!”, and Abigail steps out the hatch to punish the window assailant by shooting him point blank in the elbow. If I recall correctly, her weapon of choice right now is a sawn-off shotgun, making the impact of this even meatier and wince-inducing [Editor’s Correction: I’ve been informed that Abigail’s weapon is a shotgun, but not a sawn-off. It’s a lever-action, short-barrel, short-stock shotgun, made for her by Harry, John Browning and William Winchester. Think Arnie during the truck chase scene in Terminator 2]. Annie asks her what the hell she thinks she’s doing, before Abby swings across to the Bear’s carriage using one of the lassos. Annie’s concern is understandable; Abigail is her charge, a possessor of the Endowment (and one who very recently demonstrated can actually put it to good use by closing these portals), and this chaotic and dangerous situation might force Annie to do what Arlington asked of her and shoot Abigail before the Endowment can be lost, which is the last thing she wants to do. We see these frantic thoughts race through her mind as she trains her rifle over the Bear and Abigail’s fight. The Bear seems to be enjoying the duel, demanding his comrades leave her alone and that he be the one to take her down. Abigail catches herself on his armour, but she spits blood in his eye, dodges his club, and, with one guided megaton hit of a punch that slows the world down to a crawl, destroys his balls.

Brutal. Awesome.

         As he reels, Abigail ropes the Bear and kicks the driver, snaring him and launching the Bear into the air as Annie tags in with a shot that severs the rope and sends him flying and crashing. A feathered carriage comes in from the side, putting Abigail in danger. Annie calls out for a bottle of bourbon, and Raven assists by giving her his whisky, though he lets her know that she owes him a drink. This, and a lot of other little asides and exchanges during this sequence is what communicates the character of the people engaged in this fight, which makes it all the more exciting and thrilling. It’s people we know and care about who are participating in this and fighting for their lives, not just nameless faces. For that same reason, it’s also what makes it tense and frightening; I really don’t want to lose anyone in this group. But, for the time being, Raven tears a piece of fabric from his shirt and jams it into the bottle, showing he understands exactly what Annie had in mind. He lights it with his cigarette (another indication of his personality – it’s amusing to see that even in this life-or-death situation, Raven prioritises having a lit cigarette in his mouth), and Annie passes the Molotov to Abigail after she realised what the two were planning and came up to them. The synthesis of this teamwork and co-operation between multiple members of the party is really satisfying to watch. Annie lays down covering fire at the feathered carriage to distract them as Abigail slings the bottle, and Annie, like John Marston activating Dead Eye, focuses her attention as time slows down and hits the bottle with one last bullet. Wild fire ignites the carriage. Annie lets out a guttural and sorely earned “YYYYESSS!”

         The last carriage is the Lord of Brimstone with his skeleton crew and his bone-white ride. They have dynamite – oh dear. Abigail extends a hand out to Annie, emphasising her support and belief in her that she can make this shot. She pulls Annie onto the roof, and as Annie is pulled into the open air before she lands next to Abby, she sees everything clearly, and identifies her target. She takes her shot immediately, and it lands, hitting the guy behind Brimstone, who was holding a stick of dynamite, which he drops inside the carriage – right next to all the other dynamite. The explosion destroys the carriage, and the leader is shot out like a comical firework, engulfed in fire, ash, and bone. Hey, he was the one who called himself “Brimstone” and obsessed over his boney white aesthetic – I’d say he got exactly what he always wanted.

         With a crash, the world goes quiet. We hear a heartbeat slow down, providing a fantastic transition that takes us from the adrenaline of this sequence back down to a place where we can catch our breath. But we’re soon reminded that, while all of this is going on, Tabitha is still facing her own fight as she’s in the middle of giving birth to her baby. As James guides the baby out, provides support to Tabitha, and things escalate to their peak, the explosion echoes out behind them as Tabitha experiences her own release as the baby boy comes out, safe. The music instantly adapts to the sweet innocence of the moment. The crew re-centre themselves, Harry slows down SteamHeart, and now that everything is okay and everyone is safe… Annie punches Abigail in the side, in an act of frustration that ends up hurting her more than Abigail (Annie is after all not quite as used to throwing punches as Abigail is, as we remember from that brawl in Secret Rooms which Abby and James adapted to but which took Annie by surprise and disorientated her). Abigail responds that, while she may have taken a risky move, they all survived and made it through this. The tone is quietly triumphant, intimate, and optimistic. Our heroes have made it through this.

         James shares Abby’s gratitude for the moment, and as Butler tells him he’s done a good thing here as Tabitha holds her child close to her, he experiences a sense of tranquil acceptance. James has been experiencing doubts about himself and his usefulness ever since he acquired the Endowment. At the end of Secret Rooms, he even wondered if he would be any good as a doctor after effectively losing one half of his eyes. But by helping another, by bringing this new life into the world, James has realised he can make enough of a difference to be at peace with himself, if only for now. It’s a revelation that endears me to James, as I’ve often found that, at times where I doubt my own self-worth, the best thing I can do is to seek out ways I can help other people, whether it’s in big ways or little ways. If I can make someone else’s day a little easier, then that alone makes me feel like I’m doing alright. And that’s a sentiment I love to see in fiction like this.

So yeah, this episode was a fantastic ride, and a complete triumph.

[lisanealblog-blog]

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[sieben9]

“murder most foul” impressions

{Quick request to anyone reading: I’m watching OUaT for the first time, and I want to avoid spoilers. So, if you want to discuss something spoilery, I’d be grateful if you could start a new post for that. Thank you!}

So there’s ghosts now?

I’m not complaining, I’m just surprised. When did we get ghosts? Why is this not a bigger deal? Snow and David couldn’t even be certain their son could hear their disembodied voices through the only haunt-phone in the Underworld, and now we have a whole entire ghost?

I have to say, as “filler” episodes go, this one was actually pretty nice. Good pacing, excellent acting in all the right places, and some quality comedy. I’m not entirely thrilled with the resolution, but mostly because I’m worried how it will be handled in future episodes, rather than disliking it for its own sake.

And now, the cut, before I get even more long-winded.

As mentioned above, there isn’t much of the main plot going on this episode. Hence the “filler” comment. Still, I greatly liked the stuff that was going on, though I have to say, they took their sweet time resolving that particular mystery, didn’t they? And I’m also annoyed that Hook instantly becomes a more interesting character when he’s not busy being Emma’s Boyfriend™. It’s like a glimpse into an alternate universe where the guy actually had consistent character writing from s3 onwards, and I wasn’t annoyed half to death by him.

Ah, the world that could have been… Anyway, back to actual reality.

The present-day plot and the flashback are definitely well-connected. As David and Hook get closer to uncovering the truth about the murder of David’s father (whose name I may or may not have had to look up on IMDb…), the flashback gets closer and closer to that point, too, and shows him as… well, not a totally different man than David assumed he was, but different in vey important ways. Mostly in that a lot of his actions in life were driven not by indifference towards his family, but by deep regret over the “choice” he made to give up one of his sons. (Please note the sarcasm.)

And is it just me or is Rumple’s behaviour in this scene notably different from that in “The Shepherd”? I mean, David was a grown man, perfectly capable of making his own choices, but he seemed much more guilt-ridden for taking him from his mother than taking little James away. Which may just be indifferent writing, but I can’t help but think that he was hiding very far behind the Dark One mask to go through with this.

The whole flashback is obviously heading for tragedy—we know how this story ends, and it’s not with Robert returning home with little James in his arm—and the writing really leans into it. Considering I’d never even seen the man before, I sure got invested in Robert’s plight and struggle, and seeing him stand up to George made my stomach twist with genuine regret, because… yeah, like I said. We all know how that ends.

Or very nearly. ::glares at Hook:: So, I had to check twice, but I’m pretty sure right up until he saw that page from August and recognised the scene, he didn’t know that this was a case of “Oh, so I’m the asshole.” Still, I’d just... like to ignore the guy and it looks like that won’t be an option. This, plus the pending proposal promise quite a lot of Hook-time in the coming episodes.

It also somewhat sours that nice moment David had at the docks when he threw away the coin and finally laid the past (and his father’s ghost?) to rest. It’s not awful, I’m just not entirely happy and more than a little worried.

Going back to the murder for a moment... I’m not sure why Hook would be worried about witnesses to his killing of the king’s men. He’s already a pirate, which makes him hostis humanis generis, if I’m not completely confused about how piracy worked, and he lives in a spooky otherworldly realm where nobody can find him unless Pan wants them to. What, pray tell, is the worst that could happen even if Robert did talk? ::annoyed grumbling::

Oh, and apart from all the other things in the flashback plot that hurt my heart (so, nearly everything that wasn’t Pinocchio’s incredibly “convincing” lying), there was this little standout moment:

I’d ask “why are you like this”, but at this point I pretty much know and I’m afraid of more answers

Rumple’s complete indifference turning to sympathy in pretty much the blink of an eye when Robert confessed his deep regret and announced that he was determined to find his son… damn. Why. My heart. And the whole drama about exacting a “price” that meant absolutely nothing in the end, because sparkly Rumple is even worse at being a human than current Rumple. I just… guh. It was a really good moment. And “May be all reunited with our sons” killed me, because Neal, and then it killed me again when I remembered that Rumbelle are in a very similar situation with Gideon. Please, show, just let them be happy.

Contrasting with the very in-the-feels flashback, the present-day search for the murderer was surprisingly lighthearted and even fun, right up until the very end. Standout moment was the potion brewing scene, because… well “turn counter-clockwise”. Also, I’ve seen some of my friends trying to cook for the first time, and the similarities were highly amusing.

And then… then there was that last scene. Goddamn, but Josh Dallas can act. And Alan Dale clearly knows how to give someone room in a scene; that duel, and really the entire “conversation” leading up to it was excellent. And the amazing acting just kept coming after Hook pulled Charming off the man he was about to murder. I’m… still not happy with how Hook’s entire story arc was handled (e.g. that the narrative insists that there was some great big redemption arc that I must have missed), but scenes like this make me wish so much that he had been handled better. Because him all but begging David not to kill George, because revenge won’t make him feel better, won’t bring back his father and will only ever make him miserable was such a good moment. Especially since it didn’t come from a position of faux moral superiority. Hook’s main argument was “don’t do this, because I have and it sucked”. And David breaking down in tears was just… ugh. Buddy. Doubly awful, too, because you realise that he can’t just go home and tell Snow about this, because they can’t both be awake at the same time and everything is awful.

Oh, and for an extra dose of heartbreak, we had this subplot:

I know I said that during the liveblog, but Regina…. honey… don’t do this to yourself. And at the same time, it’s really easy to see why she did it anyway. Missing someone is hard, and she’s only human. And the signs were there all along; him going out to kill Keith was... not entirely unsatisfying, but also a clear warning sign that this is just not the same person.

And the talk with Snow shows that she immediately knew that this was the wrong way forward. This isn’t Robin—not her Robin, anyway—and kissing him meant nothing, because this particular person meant nothing to her. It’s really not that different from hooking up with Robin’s identical twin—they may look the same, and they may have had a similar upbringing, but that doesn’t make them the same person. And I know what Snow means, too. It’s no fun being right about this.

Though this should make things easier. Emotionally, I mean. I’m sure that box will only make things more difficult in general.

[nautiscarader]

Hold still, Claudia/Callum/Rayla, E

(Ao3)

Another one of El_heffe’s post, about Callum drawing his girlfriends.

- Callum, how long do we have to wait?

Rayla addressed him again, in a slightly annoyed voice, and she received the same reply as before.

- Just a moment, I want to do it the best I can.

Callum looked up from his sketchbook to capture his girlfriends poses for the few final strokes. While Rayla, being impatient, has never been an ideal model, contrary to what her training should teach her, Claudia could sit for hours and she didn't mind at all. And Callum would definitely love to sit with these two, savouring the sight of their naked bodies against the red sheets and drapery of their royal bedroom. Claudia's more voluptuous breasts contrasted with Rayla's smaller ones, but that didn't seem be a problem to the Moonshadow elf, proudly exposing her butt to their artist, hoping he would catch every curve and detail.

After more than five years, people at the castle got used to the fact that king's brother had a bit more complicated private life than most, with not one, but two girlfriends that seemed to be polar opposite of each other, and yet were able to find a common ground when Callum was involved. And letting him express himself as an artist was one of those blissful moments that let the three take a breather from diplomacy and other troubles of the modern, constantly changing world.

That didn't stop Rayla from being grumpy, though.

- At this pace, I'm gonna catch a cold... - she grumbled back. - Do you want me to help heat you up? - Claudia addressed her, and Rayla saw a very familiar spark in her eye, that, quite frankly she expected to see much earlier.

Callum didn't quite catch Claudia's reply, but the next, loud and unabashedly erotic slurping sound broke his concentration instantly. He looked up, and at first, he wanted to scold Claudia and Rayla for breaking the composition. Only his second thought was that his girlfriends locked their bodies in a tight embrace, making sure he will hear each and every single kiss they exchanged.

- W-Wait for me!

Callum rushed from his chair, ditching his loose shirt and rushed to the bed.

- Oh, look who's finally realised what's going on. - Rayla joked, and both women laughed as they watched Callum jumping on one leg as he tried to get rid of his pants.

Laughs turned into moans when Claudia introduced her fingers to Rayla's pussy, and the elf reciprocated the gesture, while waiting for their shared lover to get ready. They didn't have to wait long: Claudia, being on top, was the first to feel Callum's presence behind them, when he grabbed her waist, and the very next moment, both girls gasped when Callum slid his cock between them and performed his first thrust.

With two women to pleasure, Callum had to work twice as hard, and more than enough had to utilise both his mouth and cock to bring them to a climax at the same time. Of course, neither of them would mind if he only concentrated on one of them, but the sheer idea that their boyfriend didn't want to play the favourites game was romantic enough that they decided to not break his spell.

Claudia once proposed she could almost surely make him grow another penis, after she found that snakes have two, but it was the "almost" part that worried Callum, and ultimately they decided to remain with his more conventional methods of pleasuring both women at the same time.

And this one was just the best.

Before he plunged himself between them, Callum was greeted with the alluring sight of their soaking pussies pressed against each other, and he contemplated for a second if he wanted to disrupt this amazing combination, but his throbbing cock as well as Claudia's and Rayla's needy moans calling him prompted him to rush forward.

Sliding between them allowed Callum to heat both of his girlfriends, and their hands, dancing eagerly around his cock only helped their common cause. And so, just few minutes after he begun his thrusts, Callum could notice the difference in tempo of Rayla's and Claudia's moves, and decided to change the tactic.

Given Rayla's complaining earlier, he thought it would only be fair if she got the first taste of him, and he withdrew, diving deep inside her in one go. The Moonshadow elf gasped, breaking her kiss with Claudia, and her body arched, allowing the brunette to sneak her hands underneath her.

Rayla was tighter than Claudia, and if Callum kept his pace, she alone would be responsible for him finishing early, so he knew he'd have to diversify. After a few, steady thrusts, he pulled out, deliberately ignoring Rayla's moan of dissatisfaction, and entered Claudia, getting a sweet, inviting cry in return.

Minute after minute, Callum made sure to pleasure both of his women evenly, reacting to their moans and moves, though as their orgasm approached, their writhing bodies were thrown into a swirl of uncontrollable spasm. Callum himself wasn't far, but he definitely wanted them to feel the pleasure first, and just when he was about to switch hole again, he heard Rayla's cry that shook their bedroom. The Moonshadow elf clutched Claudia's back and was pulled into another kiss, which silenced some of her moans, as well as jump-stared Claudia's climax. Next thing he knew, Callum's cock was coated in two copious doses of their cum, but the women were far from over.

With their lips, both upper and lower, pressed against each other, they rocked their tangled bodies, creating an even more stimulating environment for Callum's cock. The amount of natural lubricant made his job exponentially easier, and just after a few moments of continued thrusts, he cried in his tired voice.

- Claudia, Rayla, I'm-I'm close, I don't know which one... - Paint us! - Huh?

At first, Callum thought his lovers, satiated with their orgasms wanted to pull a cruel joke on him, but Claudia's intentions became obvious when she rolled from Rayla onto her back, sticking out her tongue invitingly. The lewd meaning of her words suddenly struck Callum, and that pushed him over the edge.

Both horny women gasped when rope after rope of Callum's thick cum reached and landed on them, covering more and more of their naked bodies, much to their pleasure. When the very last drops of Callum's essence dripped to Rayla's abdomen, Callum took another deep breath, looked up, and once again froze in amazement at the sight of his two girlfriends glazed with his cum. Once more, his natural reaction was to grab the sketchbook and capture this vividly erotic scene, but just as he had this thought, the imagery changed.

Claudia always had a bit of fixation on Callum's seed, and she wasn't hiding it, peppering Rayla's chest with kisses that had one more purpose: to clean her off as much as she could. Rayla was a bit hesitant, but after a while she did the same to a few globs of cum around Claudia's breasts, though the brunette took the control again when she pulled Rayla into slow and languorous cum-swapping kiss that culminated with a thick strand of it joining their content faces, as they looked at their tired lover.

- I... I sometimes wish I could... I could capture those moments, you know. - he wheezed - Like, instantly. - he snapped his fingers. - I could try enchanting your paper. - Claudia begun thinking, apparently not aware that Rayla continued her trail across her chest. - But it would take lots of light to properly absorb the image of reality... - But why even bother? - Rayla interrupted - Wouldn't reliving these moments on paper be less fun than, you know, doing it in real life?

The three exchanged knowing looks, nodded, and, following Rayla's idea begun creating more unforgettable moments.