#it doesnt matter what hes doing we get FED

[citygirlyuno305]

Yuno

This is weird but I’m going to speak as a person right now just generally, rather than as any kind of professional or anything. I’ve hesitated to say this for a while, and to speak on Yuno at all, because of my own complicated feelings and because I fear the fallout. But with the new cover and everything I feel like I have to, or I have to get it off my chest. So if you read this, I’m sorry in advance for indulging in what is undeniable projection and bias. I have to put a content warning for harmful sexual relationships and violence here.

I’ve never admitted this to anyone beyond those who already knew, or with my actual public profile or name/ID attached. At age 17, I’m already fucking cringing, I was involved in a sugar-daddy situation. Me, age 17, and a man who was about 40. He had a daughter two years younger than me. I met her. We were friends on facebook. We would eat dinner and I’d have sex with her dad for money after she left to go to her mom’s house. No, I did not need the money. I can’t begin to go into what motivated it at this time because it’s like scratching a barely healed scab. God, I feel gross even thinking about it. Engaging in things like that is unsafe for ANY high schooler. No one stopped me though. My parents didn’t know, and it was shockingly easy to conceal from them, but my friends and siblings did know. Some simply shrugged. Some asked to see pictures of the guy, encouraged it. Some even asked me to ask him if he had friends who wanted to do the same thing with them.

This was obviously disgustingly predatory, but also, just disregarding our ages, it was an extremely violent sexual relationship just generally. Any ‘I worship my sweet sugar baby’ shit when we spoke was significantly outweighed by the things I had to to do. But I did them and even managed not to feel dehumanized at the time because I literally hated myself. So his depreciation fed my own self-hatred. It became very out of control, very quickly.

Predictably, I got pregnant after a little while. Again, I was 17. It was legal, so I had to get an abortion myself. I was pro-choice my entire life- still am. Guess what? Despite that, I felt like shit about that abortion for years. Sometimes I still feel like shit about it. Does that make me getting an abortion less forgivable?

I ask because it seems to be how some are framing their view of Yuno’s innocence or guilt. And I’ve been nice about it or I’ve ignored it up until now, but it’s gotten to a point where it just makes me realize that a lot of people are selfishly self-imposing their own opinions on the character without taking the time to understand what the character themselves needs to heal- like it doesn’t matter to you whether she’s mentally well, or safe. If this doesnt apply to you I hope you take no offense. Is the abortion a huge part of her character? Of course. But it is far from her entire character, and I can’t help but feel like we failed her by not even considering other aspects of her mentality, even if our votes wouldnt change.

To the extent that she regrets her choice, I get that. For the great many people (mainly on twitter) who seem to think abortion is something you can “girlboss queen never cry” your way out of feeling anything for, you’re so woefully wrong that it’s almost alarming. First, being that Yuno’s seemed to be self-inflicted by throwing herself down fucking STAIRS, i can’t even begin to imagine the level of pain she felt. Even when I took that goddamn pill I felt like shit for a week. But more than the physical pain, there IS an emotional pain and a mental pain that just dulls everything else around you. Its more than just societal, the actual biological impact, the abrupt halt of natural processes and jarring hormonal shifts, it literally fucks with your body and your head. I did not want a baby at 17. I did not regret the choice. But I can fully see how some people do once they get an abortion because even for me, it literally felt like a part of me was missing. Gone. Like a part of ME was ripped out. I genuinely hope no one reading this ever has to go through that. And I can’t fathom how much worse that mental pain must be when the abortion is nonmedical.

Is that a reason to make abortion illegal? Fuck no. But I have to make that clear because even saying that has gotten me bombarded with accusations of being prolife, when I’m not.

And you know what, everyone was so kind to me about it, I’m so lucky, really, in retrospect I see that. But when I was SEVENTEEN, it became something that made me so blindingly mad- “its not your fault, youre just a kid, you didnt know.” Yes, I was a kid- but I did KNOW. It felt like that part of me that I killed-because yes, thats how it truly felt-also took my agency with it when it left. Like no one gave a shit enough to tell me that I made a shitty call insofar as getting into that relationship in the first place, and now I’m sitting there with this immeasurable feeling of self-hatred and guilt over something that I did willingly and knowingly (from my POV), I’m feeling this insane emptiness and pain and numbness and I have no one around me to blame so I internalize this self hate even more. Because I couldnt even be angry and upset without simultaneously feeling MORE guilt when the people around me weren’t lashing out at me. I don’t know how to describe this. It felt like no one was holding me accountable for hurting myself, and it was alarming and driving me insane to toe the line between being a victim of my own exercise of choice, and to have no one hold me accountable for the exercise of that choice, even though I myself would not hold anyone else accountable or call them guilty for making the same choice. It felt like no one gaf because those absolving comments designed to make me feel better also somehow felt like I was also being deprived of recognition for the somewhat traumatic experience that it truly was. And even now I really struggle to call it trauma because I still grapple with the idea that I cannot exercise a choice and call it trauma. But its like, no one is angry at the perpetrator (me) for what they did to the victim (also me). And if thats the case, do you really care about me at all? I don’t know. It’s hard to put into words. But that’s where I’m like, we have kind of deprived Yuno of her own victimhood by insisting her actions were victimless.

That said, seeing the line “I wanted you to care enough to scold me and tell me I was wrong” actually hit me pretty hard. I don’t blame Yuno for wanting people to care. Because it truly doesnt feel like it in this instance sometimes.

Double it and pass it to the next person if Yuno really did kill herself when she did it. Because at that point, we’re telling her two things- 1) abortion is okay you didn’t commit murder- okay, fine. But ALSO 2) its okay that you killed yourself, no harm done. No wonder she thinks we don’t give a shit about her, we were too busy politicizing her to consider the fact that we were telling her she didnt err when she fucking offed herself.

And I want this part to be absolutely, abundantly clear: I do not say any of this to demonize SWs. In a manner of speaking I was one. I’m not sure how similar it is to Yuno’s situation but broadly speaking, we live in a world that is generally unsafe for women. Particularly young women, and even more so teenage girls. And we shouldn’t be indifferent to a high schooler showing us that she was having sex with grown men for cash. We shouldn’t demonize her for it, but we shouldve cared enough to probe into what caused her to think this was something she should do. Her friends and parents didnt. I wasnt mentally well when I did it. And call it a girlboss queen shit thing all you want, it fucked me up monumentally after. I still cant think about it without feeling disgusted with myself. And I dont want Yuno to he disgusted with herself but I also dont want to affirm a belief that its genuinely not a problem for high schoolers to do this. People can scream about “well 18 is legal!!!!” all day- its a shitty argument to begin with, though. (If the law said 12 was the age of consent, would you feel comfortable saying “Well its legal!!!” to a relationship between a 12 year old and a 30 year old? No, right? Because the law is not always the baseline of morality). But- and again this is in no way designed to demonize sex workers- situations like Yuno’s are undeniably dangerous.

Is it her fault that something happens if she is attacked? Absolutely NOT. But I still wish someone had given a shit enough about me, my friends, siblings, anyone, to tell me to stop putting myself in a position where it could easily occur. They didnt even tell me that after I got the abortion. Its not that I wanted them to scold me for the abortion-I wanted ANYTHING, but if I’m specific, I wanted them to scold me for what led to it. I wanted them to yell at me for even getting into the sugar daddy situation, which I engaged in willfully because of my OWN self-loathing and need for some form of attention, my OWN warped perception of what constitutes positive attention and what I had to be of value and worthy of that attention. Because I was 17 and I knew that most every time I was yelled at by someone or scolded it was because they cared about me in some form, even if yelling was inappropriate in a given situation. Its weird- without giving too much away here, I managed to keep my abortion from my parents despite being a minor. Maybe half a year after the fact, I told my mom, and only because she was expressing this deep concern that I was suicidal, telling me I wasn’t myself. She wasn’t wrong, of course, I was completely different, idk about suicidal, but certainly depressed. When I told her, she cried, not because shes prolife or anything, but because she was so distraught that she didn’t see what was happening. Frankly she couldn’t have, with the way I went about it and how our lives are structured. And I hate when my mother cries, I love her to death. But her crying felt good. Not like weird masochism good, but like vindication good. Because I knew something was wrong but no one else seemed to think something was wrong for so long, and her weeping over this confirmed for me that yes, I’m right, something- anything- was materially, truly, WRONG with this situation. And when she probed for details I cried too because I forgot how good it felt to have someone who cared enough about me personally to go deeper than superficial opinions on political things, to actually form a personalized opinion or seek more detail as to me specifically. She begged me not to keep up the sugar baby thing, and she was right to do that, and it simultaneously fed my need for care while also maintaining my agency. I am truly lucky beyond words for getting to be my mother’s child.

Anyway, that said, I see how Yuno probably also wanted that from us. To care about the why, and not the what. It didn’t seem like her parents were super involved. Unless I’m missing something.

But that’s the thing, its complicated. I’m pro choice but I hated my choice, but I dont regret my choice, but I do regret it and don’t hate it- I literally can’t put it into words. Its not so black and white. And I think demonizing Yuno for maybe wanting that or harboring the same complicated feelings about her own situation is antithetical to the entire purpose of pro-choice ideology. Is her exercise of choice somehow less forgivable because she might regret her choice?

The answer should be no. To me, anyway.

I would like it if people gave Yuno the same energy that they give any other character. She is a person. She is not just a medium to express any given ideology. And give her the courtesy of trying to understand how it feels to be forgiven for something that you don’t forgive yourself for. Because it doesn’t feel good. I’m in my 20s now and still cannot forgive myself sometimes.

I’m not saying we should have voted X or Y or advocating that Yuno is some kind of monster for what she did. That’d be pretty hypocritical. I’m not unilaterally placing blame on Yuno for her actions either. I’m also not pretending we’re the same person- though the timeline conversation with Shidou where he tells her she’d be good as a healthcare professional, is alarmingly similar to something that happened to me. And that same “Haha, quit playing around,” that’s exactly what I did too. Because I hated myself too much to think it was true. And it took a lot of work to crawl out of that hole. Like, yeah, I’m a lawyer now. I have a different life. I do not require validation from sexual partners to feel joy, I understand the difference between good and bad attention. But part of me will always be partially submerged in it. I think ignorance to the reality that even something that isn’t itself immoral can have dire consequences on the actor goes unrecognized sometimes.

If someone called me a girlboss after my abortion, knowing the circumstances that gave rise to it, or not even bothering to address them, I would’ve blown my fucking brains out.

[t0msvi4gra]

This might be weird and controversial but can you write like a smut scene where tom is like a teacher and he's a married man with children and stuff and there's like an age gap between him and the reader, who is rebellious and failing his subject. One day after tom has finished correcting the exams and noticed how she failed again he was completely fed up and called her to his office and she was wearing very provocative clothing (a mine skirt and a blouse that shows her cleavage) and she tries to flirt with tom to let her pass and at some point he gets really fed up and bends her over the table/spanks her and says stuff like "you dirty fucking slut", while lecturing her on her bad grades after that he fingers her but he doesn't all the way have sex with he cus he remembers his wife and shi but he just couldn't control himself

its not weird at all!! i promise my acc is a safe space for your fantasies or anything!!

AGE GAP | TOM KAULITZ X READER

warning: reader is 18, tom is 26

you have always been a good student, you’ve got good grades and you’ve turned in your work on time, but professor kaulitz’s class is challenging for you and you’ve really really tried.

but you turned in a test to him but the next day, tom asked to see you in his classroom.

“yes sir? you wanted to see me.” you ask hovering your books over your skirt. “yes please sit.” he says as he gets up and puts your test on your desk. “whats going on? why havent you been asking me for help? or your peers?” he asks softly but sternly.

“i dont know. im sorry. im trying i swear.” you say fidgeting with your fingers.

“so what i’m gonna have you do is stay after so we can go over the questions, then you can retake tomorrow in class okay?”

“but sir i cant-“ he cuts you off “doesnt matter you need to arrange that okay? you have your notes.” you reluctantly nod. “fine.”

you look up at him for a few seconds. you always found him hot… and the things he could do to you. you quickly stop thinking like that but you feel yourself getting wet. you shut your legs tighter together and you start to correct your test.

“whats wrong, honey?” he asks with mock innocence. “n-nothing, sir. just cold.” you gulp and he gets closer and he puts his hand on your thigh, his hand traveling up.

his hand reaches your panties. “come on, focus baby.” he says teasing you as he gently rubs your clit through your panties.

“s-so this- p-art me..means..” you get cut off my the feeling of his fingers on your clit. “means what baby?” he whispers in your ear. “means.. divide right?” you manage to say. “mhm… now solve it for me.” he says lowly and he puts your hands in your panties. “this is what happens when you dont put effort in my tests..” he whispers and he puts his hand in your panties and he inserts his fingers in you. “damn youre so wet.” he says as you throw your head back and he covers your mouth so no one would hear you. “shh shh…” he shushs you as you squirt a little and it drips on the floor and he pulls his fingers out.

“bend over my desk.” he commands as you get up and bend over his desk and he pushes pencils and papers off so you have room. “damn this tight ass… i bet that pussy is tight too huh?” he says almost jokingly.

“sir, dont you have a wife and 2 kids?” you ask innocently…

“mhm but shes a little slut anyway… all she does is cheat and get drunk everyday.. i bet your pussy is so much better.” he rubs your ass. “this is what you get for being a bad student.” he smacks your ass hard, leaving a red handprint and you yelp and he smacks you again. “shut the fuck up. you dont want to get caught do you?” he says pulling tour panties down. “no sir i dont.” you say muffling your voice.

“good.”

he bends down to lick at your pussy juices. “fuck yes, so good.. mmm” he moans against your pussy before coming back up and aiming his cock at your pussy from behind.

“you ready?” he asks before slamming into you. “tom! oh fu-“ he slaps your ass. “what the hell did i say about screaming?”

“s-s-sorry.. it feels so good..” you whimper, trying to suppress your moans.

youre parents call you. “st-stop.. my parents are calling.” he picks up the phone. “listen to how good your daughter feels.” he puts the mic to your mouth as you whimper. he chuckles and hangs up, pounding the fuck out of you. “youre such a bad fucking girl… such a bad slut…” he grabs your hips roughly.

“cum for me sweetheart.” he groans loudly.

“you can do it come on.” he pounds you harder as you squirt and cum all over his cock. “oh fuck yes, im cumming!” he yells out, not even bothering if he gets caught. he pulls out, watching his cum drip out of you.

he pulls his pants up and helps you to do the same.

“fuck that was amazing, baby.” he chuckles

“great now my parents are gonna ground me.” you sigh.

“oh shush you liked it.” he says with his hot accent. “maybe i did.” you shake from the pleasure.

“now you have to do those corrections okay? and wear something less showy.” he points to your cleavage.

[meskit]

asks you about their dynamic (builderman and 1x1)

smiles at you so big and wide in a non-threatening way

before i get into it i feel it's important to dip into my interpretations of them both.

1x1 is canonically the embodiment of hatred, malice, and negativity. we all know this. i kind of took her a step further and made it so that he is the embodiment of whatever emotions they can feed on. it just so happens that the ones she fed on the most upon creation was telamon's (and eventually shedletsky's) hatred and ire. because of this, in forsaken, he kind of is always passively feeding on everyones emotions (usually fear and frustration). having this constant source of sustenance is what allows them to remain corporeal

builderman is viewed as a very level-headed and laid-back leader. he holds everything together behind the scenes and makes sure that things can run without a hitch. i think that pre-being forsaken he held a lot of pent-up emotions about how he never got recognized for all his hard work on the back end, at least not to the degree the others did. this carried over into forsaken, and has started to fester and eat at him. he's very angry at the world but has a persona to upkeep so he never gets the opportunity to really deal with decades worth of frustration and anger.

ultimately, theyre not good for each other, but theyre "happy" (they think theyre happy. they don't really know what that is though). there's a lot of major imbalances in the way they interact with each other, and they wouldn't necessarily be romantically involved or whatever, considering... everything really.

i'm going to copy and paste a huge chunk of what i yapped about to my friends yesterday here :]

- 🦷 -

i think 1x would be drawn to builderman because of this. initially in a "you can get me closer to my goal of tearing shedletsky down, of ripping this world asunder with my teeth for what he made me. you will be my pawn, my bargaining chip. you will be my vessel for finally being free." way. builderman is drawn to 1x because the deep, simmering fury within him over everything-- always being second to telamon and eventually shedletsky, never being known for his work and achievements, always having to be the one to make sure things run smoothly and being blamed the one time something is out of his control... being forsaken and having lost everything he has tried so hard to maintain while having to pretend that he is still capable-- seems to ebb away the more he's around 1x. he doesnt know that its because 1x is literally absorbing it until later

obviously i think the dynamic could go in many ways over time. none of them would necessarily be . healthy? but i do think that 1x would kind of become parasocial with builderman LOL. i think 1x would play into the knowledge that builderman is always one wrong word away from imploding and going scorched earth on everyone, so they would DEFINITELY play into buildermans wants to fester the hatred with the other survivors . kind of in the-

"you fight so long, so hard, just to be tossed to the side. you let yourself be outshined, for *nothing.* none of them deserve the praise they get, not when you're the key to their success every time."

- way

and i think, regardless of the intent, builderman would come to also be a little parasocial with 1x in return. but i dont *quite* have the dynamic i have in mind down yet

arguably you would think 1x is getting like. a lot out of this dynamic but i think builderman technically is getting more out of it than her.

even though he's being very blatantly manipulated, i don't think he'd really care? no matter how genuine 1x is being, it is still some of the only acknowledgment for his work that he's received in a long time. the only acknowledgment of how much blood, sweat, and tears he's poured into making sure the team doesn't fall apart. it is the most emotional fulfillment he's potentially ever had since building up robloxia. and it makes him feel wanted, seen, and in some twisted way loved. i mean, in order to notice just how much time and effort he's put in, to such an extent as 1x, that has to be love, right? not that he'd know. all of his time is spent making sure the cogs in the machine run smoothly.

1x gets the fulfillment of having a steady source to feed on, of having someone who's lost his way to meld into something more suitable for their needs and goals. builderman gets the ache of his forever growing distaste for everything finally eased. he gets to finally rest.

1x thinks this must be love, as love is a power dynamic just as what they have is a power dynamic. his wants and needs are being met and he gets to make builderman feel good. 1x is the one pulling the strings, just as it always has been, this must be love. wholly being able to alter the course of someones life must be love

neither one of them knows what actual love is for aforementioned reasons 👍 in my epic "post-forsaken au" they grow to actually love each other but its still like. weird. but its okay because they're weird together about it

[onskepa]

Stxeli: I promise

Hellooooooo~!! Here is a new chapter of my stxeli series! Hope you all like this one! enjoy~!!

Stxeli series

------------------

“As a tsahik, you are busy every day sa’nok, what time would you have for my baby sister?” Little Neytiri asks as she narrows her eyes, placing her hands on her hips. Mo’at doing the same stance, “and as a warrior in training, you have lessons to attend to ma’ite. Being with your teacher and helping with the clan, what spare time do you have with stxeli?”. 

Eytukan couldnt help but let out a slow chuckle. They are at it again, his mate and child fighting over who can have stxeli for the day. It has become a daily thing, see who wins over stxeli. The baby in question was playing with some toys he carved for her, oblivious that her mother and sister are arguing over her. 

But eytukan decides to take matters in his own hands. He has a rare free day today, why not have a nice father-daughter day? Liking the idea, he grabs stxlie in his arms, and quietly tells his family he will take the baby for the day. But he doesnt think mo’at or neytiri heard him as they continue to argue. 

Walking around with stxeli in his arms, he lets her see their village, something the baby will never get tired of. Many young children say hello to him and his daughter, and he happily greets back. There is a lot they can do, but what exactly? She is fed and cleaned, so for the meantime he won't have to worry about that. 

“Aaaaababababa!!” Stxeli squeals happily, her chubby legs kicking in the air. Lately she has been getting more physically active. She can crawl, but hopefully, she will walk too. “I think I know exactly where to go,” Eytukan says. Stxeli looks up at him with her gummy smile, already showing two little white peaks growing. Her teeth are also coming too. 

They had her for a few months now, and already stxeli is growing up right before their eyes. Putting her on a carrying sling on his back, he sets out to a littler river not too far from the village. A place where children are often taken to learn the basics of fishing. And to enjoy fresh water. 

“Abaaaa?” Stxeli calls out, curious where her father is taking her. Smiling softly, he answers her, “you will have fun where I am taking you, perfect to play around”. 

The waters were calm and it wasn't that deep, perfect for stxeli to dip her little toes. Carefully bending down into the river, where it reaches up to his ankles, eytukan gently puts down his child. Firmly get gently holding her hands up as she laughs and giggles at the texture on her feet. 

Laughter fills the area, the child's innocent giggles eytukan’s ears. Pleased and happy that his daughter was enjoying the water. Splashing water around as she kicks around. Even jumping at times. Her smile is ever so contagious. 

Chuckling, eytukan sways her a bit, “alright lets try it, ready ma’ite?” he asks. Stxeli coos as if to answer her father. So, slowly, eytukan guide her step by step. Making sure the water doesn't slip her stance. “There you go, soon you will learn to walk and run. I am sure you will most likely hide behind our backs and scare us half to death” eytukan says while chuckling at his imaginary future. 

The more steps stxlie took, the more confident she got, taking bigger eager steps. “Easy my child, why in such a hurry?” he wonders while easily keeping up pace. Stxeli only said some baby words to answer him, still gripping tightly on his fingers. 

And to his surprise, stxeli took one big step and letting go of his grip. Was this the moment? 

No, one step and she fell on her bum against a rock. 

Not liking the stinging pain, with trembling lips, stxeli cries. Eytukan was quick to pick her up and rubs her little bum to soothe away the pain. “Sssshhh my young stxeli, no need to cry. It happens my child. Accidents happen and we learn from them” he softly whispers to her little round ear. 

Gently bouncing her on his arm, her little cries died down as she sniffs away her tears. Eytukan wipes away his daughter’s remaining tears and smiles, “see? All better. Want to try again?”. Stxeli was quick to shake her head in protest.  Eytukan accepts her choice and placed her on his lap as he sits near the river. 

Stxeli explores his giant hands, tracing his hand wrinkles and band armor. Her soft coos of wonder bring warmth to his heart. He lets her wonder more and she stumbles upon his songchord. The na’vi remembers how stxeli has taken a liking to mo’ats and neytiri’s songchords. Of course stxeli has her own, but it is safely tucked away back at their home. 

So, he takes out his song chord and swings it gently across stxeli’s face as she giggles, her hands chasing it. “You love my songchord don't you? One day, you will have your own, perhaps longer than mine. Long and beautiful, to sing and tell your story too” he tells her. Stxlie’s giggles are truly something. Her innocence and cheerfulness tug at eytukans heart. Every day he loves his child more and more. 

“Here, this is my story” giving his songchord to stxlie, he begins to tell of his beginning to now.

After a nice lunch of fruit, which is what stxeli seems to only eat. Eytukan takes her further down the river, where it leads to a little pond. Water seems to be an element stxeli has come to enjoy. Eytukan wouldn't be surprised if his child learns to swim before walking. But as they made their way, there were sounds coming from the forage in the forest. Sounds of leaves being moved, twigs break. 

He was quick to notice how silent the forest had become around them. Which can only mean one thing. 

A predator is near. Very near. 

And just like nothing, a growl was heard from his left, eytukan dodged it effortlessly. He grabbed his hunting knife as he held his child tightly. Stxeli began to whimper in fear. 

Taking a good look at what tried to attack him, it was a viper wolf. Not good. They always hunt in packs. Meaning there is more he doesn't see. Not waiting for the viper wolf to make its move, eytukan ran quickly. And like a trigger, many more viper wolves appeared from their hiding 

spots. 

This only made stxeli scream and cries out of fear. He would try to calm her, but right now her safety is his priority. 

If he could just-

Eytukan couldn't go farther as another viper wolf stood in his way. He can't fight with his child in his arms. The animal releases a mocking laughter, ready to lunge at the father. But eytukan was faster. Jumping high, he reaches for a vine and begins to climb. 

Stxeli was crying her little soul out, eyes puffy and cant seem to stop. Once eytukan reached high enough, he found a small nook in a tree. Perfect. Quickly he grabs giant leaves and makes a cushion for stxeli. 

“Ssshhh ma’ite. I'm here, I won't let anything hurt you” eytukan promises. Gently rocking his daughter to soothe her fears. “See? We are safe, come now. I believe it is time for you to nap” he coos. 

Hopefully she sleeps very soon, eytukan knows those viper wolves will find them. He took a wrong turn and now they are farther away from the village. He needs to drive them far away before he could proceed heading back. And there is only so much daylight left. He needs to think fast. 

So he takes his songchord out and sways it in a hypnotizing way. Stxeli follows his songchord, her eyes moving side to side. 

Hearing her fathers soft voice and his melody, stxeli closes her eyes and drifts off to sleep. 

Good. 

Gently he places her in the nook of the tree, adding more leaves for her head, cover and hiding the entrance as a disguise. Looking at his songchord, eytukan places it in stxelis chubby little hand to which she grabs it tightly in her sleep. 

Making sure he closes it well, he whispers a prayer. 

“Great mother Eywa, please do not let the dangers reach my daughter. Protect as I will guide the viper wolves back to you” 

And as if on cue, he can hear the distant mocking laughter of the pack. A plan began to form, moving away from where he hid stxeli, he yanks off a thick branch, and makes a weapon out of it. 

Viper wolves are vicious creatures where numbers are important. Attacking as one, will they get what they want equally. A clear strategy is there and it always works be it attacking a group, or a large prey. 

But clearly they underestimate the mighty olo’eyktan. 

One by one the viper wolves were taken down. Each slayed, and numbers dwindled in the pack. 

Eytukan roared out as he brought the viper wolves back to their great mother. With his makeshift spear, tough woof and a sharp stone in front, he pierces the animals in the vital parts of their body. 

What remained of the pack backed away and left. No longer seeing the worth of losing blood over one man. So they leave, running back to where they came from. And eytukan cries out his victory, raising his spear out to Eywa. 

Falling to his knees, fresh blood paint on his hands and body, he prays to the animals he had to end. And to hope they make a safe travel when they meet with Eywa. 

Atokirina surrounded the little nook where eytukan placed stxeli, quickly climbing to reach her. Mentally slapping himself, who knows how much time has passed, it was dark and he wasnt sure how long he was knocked out. 

However, he was forever grateful to see his precious daughter being protected by the great mother. Removing the leaves that hid her well, he looks inside. 

Stxeli was wide awake, with his songchord in hand and a little atokirina floating playfully around her. Her contagious giggles melted away his worries. Noticing him, stxeli reaches out for him. 

“Aba!” she calls out. Complying to her demand, he grabs her and holds her in his arms. Letting out groans of worry and relief. How close was he to losing another daughter. Gently stroking her soft little head, taking in her scent, its her. Stxeli is with him, alive and well. 

“Thank you great mother, I am forever grateful to you” he says to the atokirina. 

Eytakan was tired but he had to take stxeli back to the village before more danger lurks. So steadily, he makes it back. And does he have a story to tell. It might give mo’at a fightful scare, and probably a lecture. But it will be worth it. Any fight is worth it. All to keep his children safe. 

And so, after arriving safely back to the village. Eytukan was right. Mo’at wouldn't stop lecturing him as she tended to his bloody wounds, shoving medicine in his scares and mouth. And neytiri wasn't too far off either. Giving her piece of mind to him too. 

Yet after all that, he still clinged on to stxeli, who in return didn't want to be apart from him and happily clinged on to him too. Her little head always listening to his heart beat, while chewing on his songchord beads. 

So, in the fit of the moment, he held stxeli up, where they eyes could meet. A little drool escaped the baby’s mouth, but she was happy either way. Cooing at her father, her little fingers tickling his nose. So, placing his forehead against her smaller head, eytukan speaks. 

“As long I am alive ma’stxeli te taksha mo’at ite, I promise you I will protect you. To make sure no harm ever comes to you. So please, smile, laugh, live at your best. Your happiness is my greatest gift. I love you forever. That is my vow. My promise”. 

Aaaaaaaand that is it for this one! Yes I pulled some inspiration from kataru's screen time. Hope you all enjoyed this one! until next time! see ya!

Taglist: @galactict3a , @alastorhazbin , @vivangothic , @spookymomfriendtm , @moonchildxoxx , @thehoneymushroomhealer , @kat-the-kit , @my-skeleton-hats . @hoodiepandaninja16 , @sugurupookie

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for ignoring my dad when i bring him his food?

p low stakes but the situation prompting this has happened a couple times and im wondering if im being normal about it. anyways during covid my family would eat separately and its sort of just stayed that way esp bc my dad and my brother sometimes work remotely so they'll just eat at their desks. so i (20) take my dad's (60s?) food upstairs to his room for lunch and dinner. i knock and then enter. usually he moves his stuff around so i can put the tray down in front of him but sometimes he's busy doing something else and there's no stable place for me to put it. so before, i just stood there holding the tray waiting for him to finish up. usually just a few minutes and im not in a rush anyway.

when hes not busy, he'll just move his stuff, say thank you and maybe talk to me about the food or the news hes watching or whatever else. sometimes we make conversation sometimes we don't but that's whatever.

but im kind of getting fed up with him when hes busy bc when i go into the room its very obvious that im there but my dad doesnt even spare me a glance. like if he looked up and said "sorry, can you wait a second?" that'd be fine. but instead he just stares at his computer typing or doing whatever work and completely ignoring me until he's done. i feel like completely ignoring me is really rude. and the tray can be kind of heavy sometimes.

so this time i waited like 15 seconds or so, no acknowledgement from my dad, so i just put it down on the armrest of the chair next to him (which is somewhere he's asked me to put it before so im not being malicious or anything). i turned around and started to leave and he calls after me and was like ??? i cant remember how i responded but i remembered he said thank you but that he'd be more thankful if i hadnt just left. i said no you wouldn't (bc he just gives me a regular thanks no matter what) and left.

im probably being immature/petty and i anticipate people saying "just talk to him" which im gonna do next time it happens. but idk i think it was worth it to give him a taste of his own medicine and i don't feel that guilty about it. was i an asshole?

[dublinskeetz]

could you maybe do a fic (don’t worry if you can’t 🫶🏼) with eli or bobby maybe enemies to lovers and the person is the band’s photographer or is on keys 🤍🤍

𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐞

hii ofc, i wasnt sure if u wanted a smau or written soo i sort of did both since the reader is their photographer, hope u like it!! this is my first tumblr fic so im still getting used to how to work the app lollll, sorry if u don't like it but pls give me ur thoughts so i can learn to improve JAJA

𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺 — 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘯𝘩𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘳'𝘴 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘵𝘰𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘱𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘴𝘵 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘤𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘴𝘦𝘦𝘮 𝘵𝘰 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘣𝘣𝘺 𝘴𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘵𝘻 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘴 𝘨𝘳𝘶𝘥𝘨𝘦𝘴

𝘨𝘦𝘯𝘳𝘦 — 𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘧𝘧, 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘢 𝘵𝘢𝘥 𝘣𝘪𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘵, 𝘣𝘰𝘣𝘣𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘵, 𝘣𝘰𝘣𝘣𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵 𝘢𝘧, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘰𝘺𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘰𝘣𝘣𝘺'𝘴 #1 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴

𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨 — 𝘣𝘰𝘣𝘣𝘺 𝘴𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘵𝘻 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

yourusername

liked by ryanmcmahon_15 and others

yourusername dropping these flicks in honor of my fav boys (and bobby ig) letting me join them on tour to take cute pics of them 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

view all 2389 comments

joshjenkinson_ WOOO after months of begging

yourusername a little begging doesnt hurt when i have to spend months with devils spawn joshjenkinson_ bobby loves u dw bobbyskeetz why do you automatically think shes talking about me bobbyskeetz and i do not

bobbyskeetz so thrilled to have you.

inhalerfan1 wtf why is she always hating on bobby he does nothing wrong to her!!! how about you leave and like never speak to him again.🙄🙄

inhalerfan2 saying this doesnt make bobby want u any more! bobbyskeetz how about you leave her alone? ryanmcmahon_15 aw look at u protecting her

elijahhewson the crowd erupts in cheers

yourusername by crowd u mean u, josh, and ryan LMAFO elijahhewson and bobby he just wont admit it

inhalerfan300 something abt the boys getting their pics taken by a sexy woman makes them even sexier tbh

liked by elijahhewson, ryanmcmahon_15 and 30 others

inhalerfan11 fuc the guys I WANT U

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"say, cheese!"

your lens shuttering was heard throughout the tour bus, trying to take candid, but not candid at the same time, pictures of the boys. tour was great, amazing even. you felt at peace when taking pictures of the band in their natural element. whether it be on stage, at a pub, or even just at time when it was just one on one hangouts. except, for bobby

bobby skeetz, you didn't know what you had done to make the boy dislike you from the moment he laid eyes on you. maybe it was your personality, the possibility to get on with everyone around you, happiness radiating off of you. or perhaps it was one night stand you had with him 4 years ago. but you chose to pick the former as the reason.

it didn't matter what you tried, his anger, regret, or whatever he felt never seemed to ease.

despite telling them to smile, bobby still had a grim look on his face, clearly wanting to be anywhere else but in front of you. rolling your eyes, you lowered your camera, dismissing the guys from the lens.

as the boys one by one retreated to their own areas, bobby stuck sitting in front of you as you placed your equipment away. you could feel his eyes watching you as you worked, and you found he often did this. though you could never force yourself to look back up at him, knowing his eyes would probably be full of dislike.

"is there something you need robert," you asked him, getting closer and closer to being fed up with his acts.

"no, just thinking."

"of?"

"why we would need another photographer when we already had lewis."

rolling you eyes, why do i even bother, thinking to yourself.

hiding behind a door was josh, ryan, and eli, silently watching the two of you interact. "i bet you they get together by the end of the tour," ryan spoke.

"oh you are so on McMahhon."

"dunno, maybe you should ask your mates. you didn't seem to complain too much when they asked me, repeatedly," you argued.

there was a thick tension in the air, these petty fights between the two of you were normal at this point, and despite your attempts to be professional, his pettiness was starting to get to you.

in reality, you didn't mind bobby at all, in fact, you felt a pull towards him. but ever since that mistake, that for some reason he can't seem to forget, he has made his presence unbareable.

"why must you make everything so difficult," you sighed, frustration evident in your tone as you continued to pack away your equipment.

"i'm not the one making things difficult, thats your speciality, isn't it," he snapped back. there was a mix of annoyance and indifference in his expression as he starred at you. "or maybe its the fact that you love to pretend nothing happened."

"what the hell are you talking about," you spoke, your patience so close to breaking.

bobby scoffed, "oh please, you know exactly what i'm talking about. four years ago when you left me!"

there was a heavy silence between the two of you, could he seriously be holding onto the past for that long? was this really the reason why he hated you so much? you can admit, you have your regrets on the way those things played out, but what were you supposed to do? act like sleeping with him didn't hurt you in ways you didn't even know you could hurt? the way he easily uttered those words to you, this doesn't mean anything, does it? it pained you, so really, what were you supposed to do?

but you were never really good with your emotions, so frustration bubbled inside you, "fine, you want to hold onto the past? go ahead, keating. but don't act like i'm the only one at fault here."

your heated exchange echoed throughout the bus, leaving an uncomfortable silence. but meanwhile, the other three boys exchanged knowing looks.

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yourusername

liked by elijahhewson and others

yourusername tours almost ova so heres some flicks to prepare u for the drought

view all 2930 comments

elijahhewson pay up ryan

ryanmcmahon_15 ITS NOT OVER YET SHUT UP yourusername meaning?? elijahhewson NOTHING ryanmcmahon_15 NOTHING

inhalerfan11 NOOOO

inhalerfan23 god i have seen what u have done for others

trumanblack come take some flicks for us?

elijahhewson no joshjenkinson_ no bobbyskeetz shes all yours mate ryanmcmahon_15 rob shut up before i leak some information that i find very important. bobbyskeetz YOU WOULD NEVER joshjenkinson_15 TRY US bobbyskeetz JOSH NOT YOU TOO yourusername OIII all of u. out my comment section

inhalerdublin twas an honor having u with us, and for the rest of the tours!🤗🤗

inhalerdublin whos us? yourusername robert get out

inhalerfan100 why do i get the gut sense that her and bobby do not like each other?

inhaler203 i dont think so, i was at their last shows and he complete heart eyes for her liked by ryanmcmahon_15 and joshjenkinson_ inhaler203 RYAN JOSH WHAT DO U KNOW inhaler100 their my enemies to lovers trope

oliviarodrigo im going on tour soon babes if u need a job😉😉

yourusername omg.

inhaler45 im living for this comment section

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throughout the remaining of the tour, there was an uncomfortable tension between you and bobby, and with the last dates coming up, you weren't sure if you wanted to come back.

but then again, you were confused.

after your last blow with the bassist, there was a peace between the two of you, if thats what you could even call it. he no longer took every opportunity to be petty, in fact, you hadn't spoken a word to the man since.

but you saw the tweets, the comments, and even noticed the other three members of the band acting funny when the two of you were in close proximity. the possible thought that bobby felt anything to you besides utter dislike, felt impossible.

the group of you were lounging around before the boys had to go onstage, and you could still feel bobby's eyes piercing at you from behind. despite the other's chatter, there was still an underlying discomfort from the two of you. his gaze lingered on you, and looking back towards him, you noticed there was a mixture of frustration and something else.

attempting to break the silence, you sighed in defeat, "what's wrong with you now, rob?"

there was a moment of hesitation on his part, jaw clenching, "it's nothing," he muttered, but his tone said otherwise.

"doesn't seem like it," you countered. you were tired of fighting with him, you just wanted peace for the remainder of the tour. "look, tour is almost over and can we at least try to-"

but he interrupted you before you could even finish, "try to what? pretend like everything is okay," his voice laced with bitterness, "like nothing happened?"

you sighed in defeat, feeling an oncoming argument brewing, "you cannot keep dwelling on the past rob," you pleaded, trying to keep your voice steady, "what happened was a mistake, for you," you emphasized, "and for me."

"a mistake," he scoffed, "you're acting like it meant nothing, like i meant nothing."

there was a clear tone of hurt and resentment in his voice, his words cutting deeper than you could've imagined, "that is not fair rob," you whispered, looking away from his eyes. trying to avoid his gaze, you noticed the room had cleared, the three boys' chatter no longer being background noise to your conversation.

those little shits.

bobby noticed your avoidance, "you just left, without a word," he continued, his voice filled with an ache that mirrored your own. "do you have any idea how much that hurt?"

the weight of his accusations hung heavily in the air, did he really have no idea of how much he hurt you too? how much you look back to that night and wish things were normal between the two of you.

"it wasn't easy for me either," you confessed, voice barley audible. "but what did you expect me to do? especially after what you said."

the atmosphere became thick with emotion, your unsaid words confusing him.

"what are you going on about?"

"really? 'this doesn't mean anything'," you scoffed, your hidden emotions rising to the surface, "do you know how heartbreaking those four words were? god, do you know how many nights i spent thinking about that. then here you come accusing me of being at fault."

his eyes softened at your confession, "i didn't know. you never said."

"i thought you knew," you cut him off, "i shouldn't have to tell you how harmful your words were."

"i didn't know," he spoke softly, getting up and standing in front of you, looking down at you into your eyes, "you could've told me. i would have been there for you.

"and what would have you done? hm?" you quipped as you looked away, anger and ache still inside your tone.

he softly grabbed your chin for you to look back up at him, "i would've told you how stupid i was, how scared. you have no idea how afraid i was of it ruining everything, and look at us now, look at what it's done to us. look at what my stupidity has done to us. i would've been there for you, through everything because i love you."

your breath hitched, utter surprise written all over your face, a small smile beginning to spread across your face, "i love you, and you aren't stupid. its just your pettiness," you spoke, trying to make the conversation lighter.

"oi, you're one to talk woman," he laughed, cupping your cheek to pull you into a kiss.

and as if it was right out of a corny soap opera, you heard a cheery whistle from the side of you. turning you were met with those three little shits with grins on their faces, well except eli, who looked completely defeated.

"as much as i am happy for the two of you coming to your senses," ryan began, turning to eli, "pay up, hewson."

eli groaned in frustration, pulling out cash from his pocket and placing it onto the ryan and josh's outstretched palms.

"you shits placed a bet on us?" bobby questioned.

"was an easy bet, after you drunkenly confessed your love to me a few nights before tour," josh explained to you two.

bobby's cheeks heated up, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. "is that what your silly comments on my posts meant?" you asked the trio.

"uh, look at the time! c'mon keating, time to perform!"

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yourusername

liked by bobbyskeetz and others

yourusername that one AM lyric about looks of love or smth

view all 4930 comments

inhalerfan43 OHMYGODAD

inhalerfan111 THE HARDLAUNCH IM DYIGNAKE

bobbyskeetz this damaging my rep woman

yourusername k bobbyskeetz haha i was just kidding bobbyskeetz i love you elijahhewson robert keating has emotions??

inhalerfan23 ive lost the love of my life to a guy who plays bass...

yourusername he's dorky ways and sassiness has captivated me bobbyskeetz HEY

ryanmcmahon_15 WAR IS OVERRRR

inhalerfan2 hes one of us fr yourusername dont think i've forgotten abt ur little bet dipshit ryanmcmahon_15 uh.... liked by joshjenkinson_, elijahhewson and 80 others

bobbyskeetz my woman

yourusername ur so babygirl i love u

bobbyskeetz THE LOOK OF LOVE THE RUSH OF BLOOD, THE SHES WITH MES

joshjenkinson_ this was so worth him talking my ear off about u

bobbyskeetz OI

inhalerfan432 HIS LOVE STARE IN THE LAST PIC IM SOBBING

inhalerfan00 im soooo normal abt them ahhahahahahahah

inhalerfan12 shes one of us fr

yourusername oh fs inhalerfan12 HI MOTHER

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THE END

omg sooo lmk if u guys enjoyed this? pls i haven't written in so long so sorry it took be a bit to release this

also if theres any error in the format or anything i apologize cause im still getting used to writing on tumblr

lots of loveeeee <333

[rouge-fauna]

In this discduo timeline pastebin i read, you can see tommy did care about dream for a very long time even while his friends were trying to convince him that dream was bad, he continued to praise dream and had plans to meet him irl. It wasnt until june july 2023 when tommy started believing the lies his friends and fans kept telling him and thays when he banned the words dream and discduo in his chat and said that he didnt wanna go all the way to florida. I think he genuinly thinks dream wronged him based on his body language in the podcast and how he dissocoates, like tommy now percieves all his past positive interactions with dream as a negative and jack, harry, and tommys fanbase fed into that, but he also is lying about dream with other things. And i mean he could be faking that body language to garner sympathy Im not entirely sure. Im just looking at the nuance here. He knows dream or at least he did. He used to check up on him all the time and he knew how bad dreams mental health was, but he still lies and claims dreams apathetic and thinks dream cant take accountability and thinks dream doesnt care about him when dream has always cared. I can send you that pastebin if u want, u can see the decline in where tommy starts turning against dream its aroundn the time where he and harry got closer. But before that, he saw dream as this brilliant helpful guy and referred to him as a friend, even in the past referred to him as closer than a brother. He cared for dream at some point for a long time, then ditched him and betrayed him. Also dream refers to tommy as emotional, and i can see how someone so sensitive can interpret a long dm as an attack, and apparently he did explain his issue to dream before but it never got resolved or tommys lying about that too. I dont doubt that he is doing a lot of this to get attention, but i do think some feelings could be genuine despite it logically not adding up. I can see how someone could interpret dreams dms in a stressful way. But the fact tommy even gave a shit about dream in the past to begin with makes this worse, because the way i see it, if someone close to me turned on me i would be a lot more hurt by that than if someone i was only colleagues with turned on me.

Was gonna chrck back on their past interactions to see if i can spot anything shady on tommys part if yk what i mean even if this is gonna make me sad. One of my co workers offered to do a watchparty💀

(I should preface this by saying I have not yet watched the podcast, because at the moment I’m little too triggered to even give a shit about what Tommy has to say to be honest. I don’t really see what defense or reasoning you could possibly have for calling anyone, nonetheless your past friend a “proper movie villain” while accusing him of things that aren’t true, knowing the consequences. I mean I just don’t think people have really let that fact truly sink he, Tommy publicly compared Dream to Darth Vader, Bane, The Joker, Voldemort…etc mass murderers. Just think about that for a second. That’s not okay. People are out there comparing him to Hitler and talking about brutal ways to kill him, a go fund me to kill Dream has started. I don’t think there is a damn thing Tommy can say Dream did to excuse that shit, he will get no sympathy from me. Even if Dream physically abused him, which ain’t true since they’ve never met, Dream still shouldn’t be compared to freaking Hannibal.)

Even so, as I have said in some of my past posts on the matter, I do think perhaps Tommy was hurt by something that happened with Dream in the past and in retrospect realized perhaps things weren’t as good as he thought. Which happens, sometimes we look back on things and are like - hey wait a minute that wasn’t okay and that hurt. But that doesn’t make that person a shit person.

The example I believe I previously talked about was my first kiss, but to give another example, a guy I was good friends with freshman year of college was very handsy and I didn’t really realize in the moment how I felt about it or that he was pushing boundaries he shouldn’t. At first I didn’t think much of it. I was naive and autistic and didn’t really know better, and he was too. He didn’t have sisters, hell he thought woman were always making milk lol. In other words, we were both dumb. And looking back he did a lot of things that really were not okay, but once I came to realize and set boundaries he respected them. In fact, we are still kinda friends today, we’re even roomates for a bit after I graduate back in 2023. So, suffice to say, sometimes people can do shitty things or even things that you realize later were not okay, or even things that traumatize you, but that doesn’t make that person shitty. Especially if you didn’t call it out in the moment. This is what I mean by giving Dream the benefit of the doubt, sure I could perceive my friend as manipulative and taking advantage of naivety or whatever, or I recognize that he really just doesn’t know better. Now when you tell someone to stop and then they continue (depending on what it is because ya know old habits die hard or like my adhd is gonna try my hardest but I will inevitably skews up pronouns - just like I screw up everyone’s pronouns) now you’ve entered into the malicious and intentional area.

Bringing it back to Dream, Tommy was upset and told him to stop texting his mother, so Dream apologized to both and stopped. It becomes harassment and malicious if Dream continued over and over to do it, but he didn’t. This is why Dream is frustrated because he doesn’t know what behavior is upsetting people, and in his heart that’s not what he wants to do, but if people don’t tell him how is he meant to improve. At the end of the day, he doesn’t want to offend anyone or hurt someone, that doesn’t mean he hasn’t done so though as these things happen, nobody is perfect.

So I think maybe Tommy was hurt, maybe it was in retrospect looking back, maybe it was friends pointing things out and were like - hey that’s fucked up that happened. Maybe some of that hurt is genuine. And maybe you could make the case that that hurt has spurred him to take revenge and ruin Dream in whatever way it takes. So the jokes and lies are just part of his lashing out because he feels wronged.

However, there is also a case to be made that given Tommy’s history as pointed out by Dream with Logan Paul, maybe it was all an act. Maybe he was using Dream from the start and Dream being the naive, good hearted, autistic guy made an easy target. Maybe he only pretended to be good friends, sure Dream doesn’t have anything to gain from being Tommy’s friend but that doesn’t go both ways. Tommy has a lot to gain from being Dream’s friend, but as the tides turned he had a lot to lose by being Dream’s friend and it was easier to switch sides not that there was no incentive, as Dream pointed out as the USMP fell through so did Tommy switch sides. Once he couldn’t gain clout for being on Dream’s side but being against Dream, he switches. Because a lot of his audience has always been against Dream, struggling to tell the difference between character and person and as is human nature, instinctively hating an autistic person. That has been the case for ages, Tommy could have given into his audience for ages but even during the allegations height he still did that dsmp finale and posted that picture on Twitter (which he got a lot of hate for)…

All I’m saying, is even the people who have wronged me, even the person who pushed me to almost kill myself, I wouldn’t wish death or harassment upon them. I wouldn’t do the shit Tommy has pulled, because there was a time when we were friends. There were times when they were good to me. And maybe that makes me an exception to the rule, that people would be so cruel to the people they once called friends, but I couldn’t and that’s what makes me question Tommy’s sincerity and capacity for empathy…

Though perhaps both can be true.

[massivetyrantduck]

it’s time

more thoughts about outsiders musical

not being a hater I loved the show

I don’t like the mischaracterization of dally I thought about it but it took away from one of the huge points in the book: dally being the greaser version of bob. Which is important to me bc not many seem to understand how if bob cannot be redeemed than neither can dally. They both had good moments but were not very good people. Dally did horrible things and people tend to forget it simply bc the actors who play him are all hot

in the same way getting rid of randy destroyed the comparison of randy and Johnny. Which got rid of pony and Randy’s conversations and the realization that they really couldn’t change much of anything no matter how hard they tried but Randy chose to try anyway because it was right

speaking of comparison pony and cherry are obviously each others counterparts. Shipping them to me is wrong btw. Maybe in ten years but ponyboy is barely 14 and she’s like 16-17 and ponyboy never showed interest in her other than understanding her bc they are both different. I disagree with cherryboy shippers bc come on a guy and a girl can have an intellectual conversation without romantic energy. This doesn’t really have to do with the show I just have opinions

I did appreciate Paul yes bring attention to how if the curtises had more money and if their parents hadn’t died Darry could have been someone big. Someone known. Someone the world considered important. And probably to the gang he represented the idea that a greaser could make it out there but then he didn’t and it crushed them a little so they tried to joke about ‘him going soc�� as a way to cope and it just alienated him even more since he now needed a full time job and to raise his brothers and to keep the house standing

I think they fed into the johnnyboy just a little too much. I love me a gay ship but come on, there’s something so beautiful about choosing family and that is what ponyboy and Johnny have. Can we shut up about the ship for one second and admire brothers who would go anywhere for each other, who would kill for each other or die for each other. Brothers who spoke without speaking. Platonic love is amazing and I loved their songs but I know the johnnyboy shippers are gonna be annoying af whenever I try to interact with the fandom. Like just because some people are queer doesn’t mean every character you like has to be queer. I know we as a community are underrepresented but if you want queer representation write a new story with queer characters, dont ruin the kinship of the curtises and Johnny cade

I loved throwing in the towel but I did not like how ponyboy sang in it too. The whole point is he is gone, and also the literal next song is the three brothers so it would have made more sense if he wasn’t singing TITT. Also if there was a missing harmony it could have been chefs kiss

the Julie Andrews bit? Fucking iconic

who tf is blondie soc girl and greaser girl. Sure ig for harmonies but they added nothing to the story and seriously to me seemed pointless. Their characters did not have to be written and served no purpose and come on, outsiders isn’t even about girls. The only girl who was close to a main character was cherry, and the only side girls who could have added to the story were sandy and Marcia, and they already underutilized Marcia. Like if you needed another girl moment just add in the two bit Marcia stuff but blondie and greaser girl had no use other than harmonies and dancing.

dally seemed way older than he should. He’s 17 he’s not put together he’s in and out of jail he’s not a responsible older brother to the boys he’s dangerous and unstable and both twobit and Darry are older than him also

the dally vs darry brother stuff was stupid

twobit was everything I wanted him to be loved it

ITS A HOPELESS WAR WERE FIGHTING AND WE DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT FOR EVEN IN THE END EVEN IF YOU WIN IT DOESNT CHANGE A THING

I didn’t really like little brother. At first I was like YES dally only cared about Johnny so yes the devotion is eating but then he’s like ‘do it for ponyboy and Johnny’ like what? ‘I am killing myself for the sake of ponyboy and Johnny’? That accomplishes nothing. That makes no sense. He killed himself bc the only good thing in his life was gone, not for pony and johnnys benefit?? The song is a banger but the lyrics are not it

stay gold is beautiful and the message is beautiful it fit the end of johnnys story so well and hold on to the good things and make peace with the bad things bc holding on to bad things is how people become resentful and vengeful and easily tempted to do bad things and that’s how bob and dally became bob and dally anyways stay gold might lift me out of my depression bc the message is so powerful and if I just find the beauty in this world in the sky and in the kids I work with and in my pets and everywhere else and if I act with grace and mercy and kindness rather than anger and justice and a mean spirit then I think I’ll do okay

I don’t blame the writers for not putting it in bc time exists and there’s only so much of it but I wish we’d seen more of ponyboys mental struggles or maybe even a short court scene showing them labeled innocent and it could have included ponyboy getting confused like in the book but I’m not mad bc it was getting to be a long musical

I did think the idea of ponyboy choosing to share johnnys message of staying gold by writing their story was very cutesy

awwwwww the way they ate dinner together and showed him improving by him eating a little bit like yes baby steps disordered eating is no joke and family dinners are amazing especially since the first few months of family dinners were probably sad and empty and tense and angry and then Johnny happened and they were sad and empty again until he started eating and the way darry didn’t make a big deal out of it and let him go slow :,)

[witchspeka]

I dont think Mob is naive as much as he's socially unaware, like the reason why he trusts Reigen so blindly is a bit more complex than just him being naive

Cause Mob reached out to Reigen because he was desperate to find someone like him, someone who understood his psychic specific issues, someone that could truly know what he's feeling and going through and give him guidance and support

Post incident Mob's thinking process was something along the lines of my powers hurt people -> my powers are bad -> my powers (my emotions, my instincts, myself) cannot be trusted

So he lost all confidence and trust in his own actions, resigning to being as passive as possible to avoid any further damage to anyone else, thus he started doubting his own perception of reality too

He's a kid already struggling with being ostracised for being socially inept, who just got traumatised and all of his insecurity increased by the tenfold, he doesn't know how to process what he's going through. He needs help.

And here comes Reigen, seemingly reliable, a responsible adult in a child's eyes, someone who claims he can understand him

Even tho Reigen doesnt. But it doesn't matter, because Mob finds comfort in his words and takes them to heart

Even if Reigen doesn't fully get it, even if he doesn't see the bigger picture, even if his advice isn't always the best

Eventually, Mob grows up, realises Reigen isn't as honest as he seemed through his 11 year old perspective, but like most things, he refuses to acknowledge it on a deeper level

Mob knows, but never tells Reigen, never thinks about what all those lies mean to him (ofc until he forces himself to face those doubts regarding Reigen, to properly acknowledge both of their flaws and accept them as they are, I should scream into the void about Confession Arc more God)

Due to his lack of trust in himself, Mob has relied on Reigen for years now to shape his moral compass, his thoughts, his decisions

Because well, Reigen lies, sure, but he isnt a bad person. When he hurts Mob, it isn't intentional or with ill intent, he still wants the best for him, what's the issue?

Except that it stunts Mob's growth. He doesn't develop as a person, doesn't have goals or wishes or ambitions, can't make choices on his own, he doesn't even let himself acknowledge his own emotions, he refuses to let himself exist

But Mob realises in time that he wants more than that, he wants to become better and be independent and feel again

Still, he puts the acknowledgement of the lies on hold for as long as he can, unwilling to question the way things are

This can make him feel a little naive, he constantly relies on Reigen and trusts his decisions and raises questions rarely until separation arc when he finally puts his foot down

And I do think that moment is the most resounding proof we have that Mob knows and allows himself to be used by Reigen, not wanting to shake the status quo, until he gets fed up

I mentioned the social ineptitude at the beggining but idk if I should even elaborate on that, you've watched the show, you know what I mean

He's blunt and can't read social cues or tonality that well and can't speak in front of crowds and is overall pretty awkward and I do think some people conflate that with naivety

Mob is still a child, he doesnt fully understand how the world works at the ripe age of 14 years old, but some folks take that as him being inherently naive/innocent/whatever which I don't find true

[shiikiyun]

Let me yap a little abt my headcanons around a normal au futa that is friends with the other prisoners (namely the ones in his age range + mu and haruka perhaps. This is placing haruka as a 17 y/o bc the timeline in canon is still confusing and we dont have anything solid but him and mu are not relevant to this ramble rn just wanted to clarify that) cause mico's music got me thinking a lot about what i pressume is a habit of futa's: selfsabotage

A lot of his conflict in canon pre murder is that he does most things for validation from those he idolizes, right? And he has a feeling of inadequancy in social groups. He yearns for closeness, but is too afraid to approach and be pushed right out. Unfortunately, thats exactly what it happens with this group. So, in an au where the death doesnt happen but his friends scapegoat him anyway and he has to rebuild his trust on people, i always thought the milgram gang would potentially be a good group for him to fit in— Because, in a way, all of them are odd. Think Yuno in trial 1, how she found the whole situation entertaining and enjoyed watching and partaking in interactions with her fellow prisoners because aren't they fascinating? That feeling would persist, i think, had they met outside this prison (like, college or work. In my au shes just starting college).

Some of them are good at pretending to fit in— like Yuno or Mikoto— and others have their quirks but may not struggle as much as him if needed— Like Mahiru and Kotoko— but theyre all in a way rejects. Yuno and Mikoto are exhausted out of their minds from the acts they put up and Mahiru and Kotoko end up also failing at deeper connections (where one cares too much about it the other tries really hard not to). A group of misfits that only found a place to belong in eachother is always a nice trope, right? Yay! My little freak got friends that are as odd as him. Conflict was solved!

Except, it wasnt. And we could go for agessss about all the complications the dynamics in a group like this could spawn, but I'm focusing on Futa here. And the thing is i believe his trust issues would get the better of him sooner or later, and he'd end up convinced these new friendships arent gonna last. From there, it's a spiral.

Out of the 4 i mentioned, the one most likely to stick by him if he shows his "ugly" traits is probably Mahiru. Because shes simply too loving. But the other 3— even Mikoto, but specifically with Futa— have a backbone. And he knows this! It'd only feed into his paranoia that they'll eventually get fed up with his shit and leave. I mean, it happened so many times, no? And there's something fundamentally wrong with him, he is incapable of upkeeping any sort of close bonds with people and he's just not a pleasant to have around. No matter what they do, Futa knows in the depths of his heart that he will push them away somehow and he doesn't have it in him to wait around for that to happen.

Maybe his tone is becoming a little too harsh, too loud, his jokes aren't landing, his awkwardness when he has to be there for his friends renders him a little too useless making the opposite situation feel like a chore to them (or so he thinks, at least). Then everyone else's tone is sounding a little too harsh, so he snaps. And they get tired of it, so they start avoiding him... but what then? What does Futa want now, that he finally found a place he could feel he belonged to, and he did everything to break it?

Here's where I'm a little torn. I cant decide whether he'd close himself off to the world until someone finally cracked him (like mahiru, in her helpless attempt of holding this precious place for her together with tape) or if he himself would become a little desperate seeing himself losing everything again. I dont think Futa knows what he'd do, either. He could never fathom the idea of such a place existing to begin with, how could he ever predict his reaction to losing it?

At such a point he'd be experiencing so many strong emotions he could hardly bear. The guilt of hurting the people that genuinely cared about him and pushing them away for good mixed with the paranoia of it being destined to be that way, because everyone leaves— yet the burning need to beg for them to give him one more chance (haha get it) because he truly cannot tolerate the idea of being lonely again after finally getting a taste of what care and love truly feels like.

Ultimately, Mahiru is always a key to everything. Even with her own attachment issues (that, well, even if they wouldnt push her boyfriend to suicide in this au— they would still be unhealthy and maybe that relationship here was the wake up call she needed to work on them) she'd be the one to refuse to let go of these bonds. Again, she's just so loving! She loves her friends, individually, and as a group, and it weights on her big heart to see them fight. Maybe she'd attempt to not be overbearing, but she'd try her best to let Futa know she is there for him. And, wouldn't you know it, the one Futa was likely the most annoyed by when they met is the one to make his whole (skewed) perception of reality fall apart— Because his narrative of "being destined to be abandoned" doesn't hold up when someone, even just one person, stays.

And that's just the tip of it. I think Yuno, Mikoto and Kotoko all would have such a huge impact on Futa in a positive way, and I think he could have his own impact on them too. This isn't biased towards the Mahiru-Futa dynamic, but, in this specific scenario where Futa's own insecurities clash with the rest's, Mappi is the one to save the day. Also lowkey I wanted to talk about her because I've already talked about the impact in the Mikoto/Futa and Mu/Futa dynamics before so like I needed to change it up

This is all over the place because i just wanted to talk about futa for a while, but if u madd it this far thanks for reading this mess lmao i hope it made sense and isnt too selfindulgent! Grant me some grace it IS a "normal" au

Also if anyone wants to chim in and share their thoughts on how the other 3 characters i didnt elaborate on would behave in such a context id love to read it!!! I have my own thoughts but its always fun to see what other people think. If anyone cares I think Yuno wouldnt particularly cut Futa off if he became messy but she would keep her distance, and Mikoto and Kotoko would just busy themselves. Mikoto isnt confrontational and Kotoko would just leave Futa to figure it out himself, but this all would misread to Futa as abandonment, whether they're aware of it or not. But yea omg let me stop talking how many words is this

[flemlem]

okay so thoughts about creation saying that tubbo never was alive. This has been making me go wild. I have so many thoughts about his character and what this may make his character. So in we go, my inane ramblings.( warning, this is Long long)

So first off, during Fit's birthday, after Tubbo had been bugged and Etoiles had said that there was going to be a lot of tweets about how his character could see ghosts now, Tubbo responded with "look man, I was dead a long time ago". So not only has creation told people that Tubbo has Been dead, Q!Tubbo is also aware of this fact. He knows he's not human, he knows hes not alive, he just doesnt really care. Which does kind of make me confused about all his suicidal tendancies but hey, maybe since he's already died at least once he doesn't really care anymore. It's all a joke to him. That's why he always plays it off as nothing serious because he knows, worst comes to worst, he'll be back one day. Or at least thats what he might think. It might also just be the desperation of 'Maybe this time it will work. Maybe this time I will actually die'. Maybe he's been dead for a long time actually. Maybe this is his first iteration or maybe it's his fiftieth.

so my main thought is that he Was alive. Not recently. not recently at all. But he was, once upon a time. There was a time in the far far past, or the far far future where his heart beat on its own and he had to breathe to keep living, to keep creating. Then something happened. Maybe he got into a tough spot and the feds found him and changed him. Maybe in his creation he changed himself. The main reason that I think he Was alive at some point is because of what he said at the party. that he "was dead a long time ago". He doesnt say somehting like 'I've always been dead' just that he Has been dead for A Long Time.

Im personally all for him having died, time and time again, not quite robot not quite human. His conciousness just inhabits a shell. That's why he still has all his limbs despite definetly getting hands caught in crushers before. Maybe that shell is mechanical. Maybe Its something else. Maybe it is like creation. Something he made, that he molded from metal and flesh and clay that is just... hollow. A puppet with cut strings when its not being inhabited. Maybe he got too attached to this shell, maybe thats why he needs to be brought back this time.

I do like the thought that he changed himself. somewhere along the line maybe he got sick, or maybe he just got curious. He started swapping parts out Just Because. He's not Totally a robot. He still looks human enough, just that some of his joints, his muscels, his organs, well, they're not quite organic anymore. He did this to himself. He needed to keep living, he needed to keep creating. He couldnt leave his Creations behind. He needed to continue to make more and to up keep the ones he had already made. He just... forgot to upkeep himself while he was at it.

I also fully believe that he Knew that he was going to die. It wasn't that he wanted the two lives left, its just that he Knew that his body was going to fail soon. He doesn't have create to upkeep this body (this shell) for much longer. It could only take so much damage before it started to give out. That's why he made the 'deal ' with chayanne. He needed the others to think there was a reason for this, that he had signed his life away for more excitement. He needed them to not question it when he didnt get back up. He needed there to be an easy answer to point at. That's why Chayanne said that he thought that it was a joke. He didn't think it was serious because the deal never Actually Happened. But it didnt matter. He was going to die either way.

So anyway, thats like, most of my current thoughts rn. Im So Excited for this :DDDD I want it to permanentally affect Everyone.

[robin-hood-for-freedom]

The government couldnt convict Al Capone for murder or extortion or even violating prohibition, so they arrested him for tax evasion is usually told to us in a 'Wasnt Elliot Ness cool and smart?' kind of way. But really that story is horrifying if you think about what it really means.

Its really saying that if you become a target of the government, they WILL find a way to get you. It doesnt matter if they can prove you did anything truly wrong, they'll find SOMETHING. Sure, maybe we can overlook that for Al Capone, because he really did do some horrible things. But what if its someone innocent? What if its just a political figure the Feds dislike?

Just something to think about.

[linalavender]

How Tatsuki Fujimoto writes Affection

First of all I would like to give massive credit to Tiktok user @campaign_baby for their Tiktok I saw on this that really made me think of it alot more

I will Bring up Examples from:

Shikaku

Mermaid Rhapsody

Goodbye Eri

Fire Punch

Chainsaw Man Part 1 (Quite a big spoiler in this will give fair warning)

Fujimoto has a sort of strange method he uses to write that a character Loves/cares deeply for someone. And its The character either being willing to be consumed or to provide sustenance to someone, Or to consume the other person. Examples:

Shikaku

After Shikaku confesses her love for Yucel, He rushes to the hospital to offer her his blood, Making her into an immortal vampire just like him. Yucel has also fallen for Shikaku, its basically his confession of love, He wants to live with her Forever.

Its drawn in a way you can tell its such an act of compassion too.

Mermaid Rhapsody

"I loved her so much that I thought, If it was by someone with a smile as pretty as hers, Maybe being eaten wouldn't be so bad."

Toshihides Dad feels the exact same way about his Mom as Toshihide feels about Shijyu. Mermaids eat humans, But that never mattered to either of them.

Goodbye Eri

In Yuutas Movie about Eri, He writes her to be a Vampire, because he wouldnt actually mind to be her sustenance, In his movie, he loves Eri so much. (I genuinely cant read this fucking story without sobbing, Rereading it again just to get this screengrab just made me cry for like 20 min help)

Fire Punch

This one is Pretty straight forward, Agni with his regenerative powers feeds his village by continuously chopping of his Arm so they dont all starve to death. But more importantly he does this to prevent his sister from doing it aswell. He doesnt want her to suffer that pain so he takes sole responsibility for providing himself to the village.

Agni also later feeds his followers with the help of Togata Chopping of the part of his face that isnt on Fire. I think this has more todo with making sure Togata gets fed rather than his followers, To Agni Togata means alot.

⚠️Chainsaw Man Part 1 (Spoilers for the Final arc)⚠️

When Power is about to Die, Power not only offers her own blood For Denji to Drink so he can get back to health, But Pochita also offers a small part of himself so she can come back as a Powerful Devil.

And ofcourse the big one is Denji Eating Makima. He obviously has to and all for the sake of erasing her. But he explicitly says it wasnt an Attack, It was an act of Love.

Its such a fascinating thing that the idea of consuming someone can be concidered something you do to a cherished one, as an affectionate thing. I guess as Denji mentions that you basically become one with eachother in a way if you consume them.

But this is such a Weird thing Right? Where does this idea even originate from? Well ofcourse we can only Speculate but I really think he took on inspiration from his own life here, Because he has actually done this to someone he loved. Yes, Seriously.

Tatsuki Fujimoto eating his deceased Pet Fish

In the Authors notes for "Tatsuki Fujimoto Before Chainsaw Man: 22-26" Fujimoto shares a story from when he was 24:

"Even though we were poor, we had a pet Japanese rice fish. I found it dead one summer. I went to toss its body into the trash like in Parasyte, but my girlfriend said she wanted me to bury it, So off I went to the park, alone. I tried to bury it under this big tree, but the ground was too hard, my hands got all dirty and I had no hole to show for my effort. Out of Options, I figured I would pretend I had buried the fish and left it lying there on top of the ground. As I watched it for a little while, ants found the body and began to carry it away. Im not sure what came over me, but in that moment, love for that pet fish welled within me for the first time. I brushed the ants away, and then Ate it."

You can read the full story here

It has that "Wait what the hell am I reading" Charm to the story like alot of his works, But theres something so weirdly beautiful about this story, Somehow stricken with grief and love for this fish, He ate it. As Denji says, its not an attack, his fish is part of him now and its an act of love. So strange, yet so Beautiful.

Anyways thanks for reading this insanely long post if you even got this far I appreciate it!

[grrrrrarro]

Alr yall Eddie Gluskin brainrot part 2 or something. ITS MADE FOR MY PERSONAL NEEDS TO VENT ABT HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM ALR DONT JUDGE scroll down for hyper important notes

Tw: eggie gluskin is his own warning, dub-con???(not really tho), erm eddie gluskin??? Ermmm idk yandere? A bit of nsfw (but there's warning beforehand) ALSO REQUEST OPEN FOR EDDIE SIMPS

Silly Eddie Gluskin headcanons

This idea is my personal one (so prepare). Imagine s/o in that spooky psych ward and she just hangs out around Eddie CUZ LETS BE HONEST HE IS THE SAFEST OPION OUT THERE😭 LIKE rest of people there bearly speak and would bite my toes off. Also I would totally get lost, so fallowing this dude is my best option

Tbh he at least pretends that hes nice😭

Also bro is mesmerised by her cuz 'shes not like other whores' cuz she doesnt scream or run away.

After he got attached (so in like 3minutes) he starts to fallow her like lost puppy and has dumb smile on his face for the whole time

He he w- he when he wh- when he- he when-

He is also very physical🥰 if he cant hug he holds hands, AND he talks a lot too... o my god

the only red flag is that he immediately wants to erm have babies 😔 BRO WANTS TO FUCK ON FIRST DATE😰🤯

Home boy 100% commits cannibalism THERES NOTHING TO EAT HERE ALR

Trying to escape WITH Eddie? Like acually from the ward? Say less

Beats up everyone, litteraly everyone. Somone stands near her in 50meter radius? They are totally dangerous mind if i stab?

Fatherless with attachment issues 👍🧍‍♂️

Loves when s/o sits on his lap, and loves being a big spoon. Litteraly melts when she grabs his hand

He 'invites' her on dates and makes some weird ass food (probably cooked rats) and if she refuses to eat he gonna grab that fork and force it inside her cuz darling you need to stay fed and healthy

He is very into domestic type shit, so if shes okay with becoming housewife he is flying away, blushing, kicking, screaming, begging for more. I mean he still would make her a housewife but its cute that she consents and he doest have to do all this threatening and manipulation stuff to make her do so

If she bakes cookies for him he will litteraly has one of those 'its so cute i want to squash it' moments and cup her cheeks and kiss all over (aggressively)

Believes in zodiac signs and tried to learn tarot once

She has to force him to stop using hair gel he looks like he has boat on his head

Looks like he smells nice but I doubt that

Kinda likes when she tries to run away? let's be honest I doubt that s/o was in love with him from the start, he is some random weird looking dude in hospital after all. So yeah he kinda liked (and still does) enjoy the whole prey/hunter thingy

ALR NOW NSFW TIME YALL CHILDREN LOOK AWAY

Lets start with obvious stuff, breeding kink, whole pregnancy stuff, likes his wife cute and obedient, but its kinda fun to chase her around once per few days, see her fear and panic o m g he loves that

He also fucks whenever he wants really, she has to have really good relationship with him to make him lisen and do what she asks him for (to some degree anyways)

Table, chair, wall, bed that he tortures people on, his bed, floor, any place is a good place to make some love

When he's not horny he is acually romantic (rare) he gives neck kisses, holds hands, talks about his plans for future, makes sure that stuff shes wearing and her hair is in good condition, bare minimum yknow

Also I use she/her and 'wife' stuff cuz even if s/o is the most masculine guy ever he is still cute lady in his eyes or something idc

My guy can do fast and rough or slow and deep. Depents of his mood really, if s/o annoyed him or he's just simply frustrated he will be rough, and do it no matter what she was doing, oh you were doing laundry? Not anymore, hop on this washingmachine, we are going on a ride. If he's in more romantic mood and s/o too, he will pick them up, kiss them, do it nice and deep to make sure that s/o feels everything

Tbh he loves 'hunting his prey (shes the prey lol)' prompt so much! Looking for her, feeling her fear... o my god this gets him going so hardddd

Bite marks on her, Hickeys on him

ALSO O MY GOD HER SITTING ON HIS LAP? omg imagine, s/o riding him, Eddie guiding her hips with hands HE DIES OMG YOIR SO CUTEEE

NOT ME WRITING WHOLE ARTICLE ABOUT EGGIE FUCKING GLUSKIN OMG IM SORRY😭 ALSO I was attacked by horse 2days ago and zapped by electric fence twice, just to buy a kebab, Im a survivor you all

[aelirus]

ok tldr the movie harakiri/seppuku is about the "establishment" or higher-up, well-off samurai treating the people their system disenfranchised cruelly and without empathy, and it comes back to bite them in the ass.

its all about the myth of "samurai honour" (especially in the edo period)

it makes me think of my ideas for cyllene/cyrus' family because i have it very firmly in my mind that cyllene is a government stooge no matter what, and i can only imagine all her family before were, too. they'd be in the role of the well-off samurai trying to whitewash samurai history and push the concept/propaganda of "bushido"

--while doing very little to help everyone who does not fit into this new societal standard.

now dont get me wrong, cyllene herself would welcome more hired hands if they were necessary. and in that way, she'd "give back" to the community... but its transactional. she doesnt have time for things that do not prgress her goals.

here's me yapping about harakiri/seppuku for so long because i forgot how many twists and turns there were: (but i recommend watching the movie first)

tw for death, suicide, torture, sad shit, the usual you see in samurai flicks

so harakiri/seppuku is this amazing movie about a poor wandering ronin (very common during the edo period as samurai who weren't part of well-off established families (cough suck-ups to the shogun. cough, cyrus' family) ended-up jobless and in poverty) visiting a well-off samurai lord's castle saying he wants to be allowed to commit suicide on the clan's land.

wandering ronin have done this before, not intending to kill themselves, but to be sent away with money/food/alms on behalf of the clan's part.

so, to warn the ronin against making his request to commit seppuku, a senior retainer tells this ronin about a story from months prior.

a similar poor ronin had arrived, asking to commit seppuku in the hopes of being sent away with alms. instead, however, the lord was fed-up with the bluffing and allowed the poor ronin in and began preparing the ceremony.

this poor young ronin became increasingly more frightened and scared, asking for delays to the ceremony, but ultimately was forced into it.

when he revealed his swords, we learn they were made only of bamboo-- he'd sold his samurai soul (also very common in the edo period, as samurai did anything they could to get money.. including selling their blades to the rising merchant class)

this enraged the lord of the castle on top of the obvious bluff, so in the middle of his courtyard he forced the young ronin to disembowel himself with his dull bamboo blades.

its gruesome. even all those in the lord's manor agree, hence trying to warn the new samurai.

omg ok. this is going on too long.

TLDR the new samurai, an older ronin, promises that he actually does want to kill himself and is brought in to do it. before he does it, though, he tells everyone witnessing the ceremony about his life story.

its terrible. he goes onto describing how the shogun destroyed his clan and his leader commit seppuku that day. he wanted to die with him, but his friend took his place for him-- leaving him to look after his young son.

holy shit im just now remembering what happens. omg

BIG SPOILERS SO PLEASE, GO WATCH THIS MOVIE IF YOU HAVE THE ATTENTION SPAN...

now this older ronin, without a job or home, has to take care of his own daughter and this son he adopted.

the coming years are terrible to them. they live in the slums, the older ronin's daughter falls ill with TB and while the father is trying to make money, so too is the son to cure the daughter. they eventually run out of money entirely but cant stand the idea of losing one of their family.

so the son slips out of the house one day, telling his father he's going to borrow money from a lender.

what really happens is.... he was the young ronin forced to disembowel himself.

his mutilated body was returned to his house, and mocked by the well-off samurai who delivered him. shortly after, the daughter died of her illness.

omg i forgot a whole other death. whatever not important for rn.

the father then, remembering the clan, went to that clan's castle in the same way his son had. thus brings us back to the present.

he tells this long story, and by now the onlookers of the ceremony are shocked.

okay theres actually like a million more twists and turns.

but it all ends with the father ronin making a last stand against that clan on their own land, killing many men and desecrating the family suit of armour. omg no i've been talking too much. i gotta wrap this up. THE END

[larrythefloridaman]

*decadently sampling Cheeze Whiz on a Ritz Cracker like its pâté* The thing about crimson and chartreuse's relationship is that they fight. Crimson says some cruel shit to her here and there, mostly revolving around folk. but, and ive discussed this before, i really dont get the sense that crimson hates her like he hates prism and cobalt. chartreuse has been a little defensive of him, because she gets how bad he has it even before he grasps the fullness of it, and she picks fights with him, sometimes- hes just a dickhead and thinks shes a fool for hanging all her hopes on folk and isnt shy about letting her know it. And like, from his perspective, I kind of get it? I dont agree, but like. lets look at the facts for a second

First off- they met a VERY short amount of time ago by the standards of Immortal Gods, and from crimson's perspective, chartreuse has been all Distant and Enlightened and Omniscient™️ for a long time and her recent behavior is distinctly unstable by comparison to that standard. chartreuse was saying she loved him in a matter of months, when they met because Folk was doing something that was hurting her and happened to flirt with her while she was reeling in confusion and anger from losing her nonlinear timesight and the chip damage of time being fucked with until her failsafe activated, and thus not really in a normal, sound, rational state of mind? She was a bit emotionally all over the place at the time, and very much kept Folk, then borderline a stranger, on impulse. Yes, ryan said in the brief time Folk was gone and chartreuse had her absolute perspective back she witnessed all of folk's life in an instant to make that decision, but thats very... one-sided, isnt it? Like, from crimson's perspective chartreuse looks like shes having some sort of breakdown and deciding to throw her everything into dating Some Guy who used the stabbing chartreuse machine even if it means she keeps getting stabbed because she became inexplicably obsessed with him

Second, Folk is bound to her. his continued existence is hurting her, Crimson knows this is costing her something just as much as Cobalt does. and Chartreuse won't tell Folk fucking anything at first, and Crimson would know this because chartreuse doesnt tell Anyone anything she doesnt absolutely have to. Not just about the fact she's maintaining his future to keep him around, slowly letting his old life turn to dust to buy him as much time as possible before she inevitably has to let him die too, effectively making their relationship a kind of entrapment, the ethical question of 'what if Folk had gotten fed up with her secrecy and refusal to be honest and open with him and broke up with her, what would she do then? If theres no way to end a relationship without ending up dead or as a dying prisoner of your bond then thats fucked up' never raised- but also just. basic information about their family. She didn't tell him Cobalt existed until he was starting to meddle in kerfuffle affairs, and she wouldn't confirm or deny if there were more of them either.

Third, Folk is a mortal therapist who holds kindness and understanding as core, open values. Now, Crimson is a deeply jaded son of a bitch who tends to distrust anything thats too overly nice and goody-two-shoes right out of the gate. and We Know Why. But theres also an element of defeatism in Crimson's understanding of their situation. This is apparent in his conversation with Folk in the winners waiting room of ncct4. This doesnt mean he intends to stop trying, but there's an air of grim acceptance, of futility to a lot of what he does because at the end of the day he doesnt really have any hope things can get better, especially through something as simple as therapy, before he starts to let himself feel otherwise. When Folk thinks he knows how to help, Prism speaks through Crimson to dismiss it as useless, and Crimson does not resist. He, fundamentally, agrees with the notion that therapy would be useless for them, even if getting it were on the table for him. Crimson does not believe that his family can get better and live (relatively) normal lives, its an impossibility in his mind. He understands why it would be wanted, but the thought is absurd. Its childish. So when Chartreuse starts distancing herself, Crimson is confused- it's hopeless, what does she think she's doing, she's just gonna get herself hurt for something that'll never last, what is she so upset for when she knew this would happen, her own nature, THEIR own nature made this inevitable. And then she abandons her godhood, and, oh God now thats an Option On The Table, Crimson tries writing her off as a fool- throwing away her lifeline, her vigilant awareness of her meddling, every safeguard shes ever had, all to save Some Random Fucking Guy she thinks can 'fix' her. 'Really, Chartreuse? I know you're having a little episode here and we're all pretty fucked in the head but isn't dating your therapist you met three months ago a little on-the-nose?' type sentiment, y'get me

And finally, I get the sense that Chartreuse is the only person in that family crimson respects and cares for without caveat, because while the whole pomp and circumstance of godhood she and cobalt put on is annoying, and again, they fight, shes got a backbone and integrity and sincerely good intentions, but she also does what she wants without making self-righteous excuses for herself or pretending she's untouchable or lording over him, and theres a sort of 'dont tell mom/cobalt' solidarity between them. but I think theres also a cocktail of fear and jealousy in there, when she starts to pull away. Like. "Dont be stupid. whats your gameplan sis. Youre making this up as you go and its gonna kick you in the ass sooner or later. This is never gonna work. You're hurting and endangering yourself for no reason. You're gonna forget what its like and right when you let your guard down you're just gonna get fucked over. Stupid. Crybaby. for the love of god don't leave me alone in that fucking house." Y'get me.

And when he's finally accepted Folk as something important to her, important enough to upend her whole life to be with him, that she's really healing and he's really good for her... he's still not being especially nice- he'd hardly sound like himself if he did, hes a little cunt reflexively- but he tells him to make their time count. He wants to be at their wedding even if he has to crash the fucking thing. Hes starting to let things be meaningful to him again. Its clear to me that, while he sincerely cant stand cobalt or their mother, he actually really does care about his sister even if he sucks ass at showing it sometimes. Its... bittersweet.