#it doesn’t really affect me that much
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WHY are frozen fish sticks and tater tots considered even a remotely acceptable dinner. see i don’t trust ovens and air fryers (or know how to use them) and i barely trust microwaves, so when i’m home alone i usually subsist on whatever tiny processed snacks i can find around. then someone fiiiinally gets home and my options fruitfully expand to shitty frozen or microwaved foods. i’m not usually a neurotic person but a few minutes ago i stress cried a bit because dude. i do not want frozen fucking fish sticks and tater tots at midnight after a day of cheese sticks, reese’s cups (don’t even like them), and arizona tea. wondering why i’m tired and flabby idk maybe because the most sustaining meal i can consistently access in this house is a fucking maruchan cheese yakisoba. for a while that was a food i liked (kinda the shit the first time you try it as an 8 year old), but now it’s just one of the three options i have when my sibling gets home from work. tired as fuck of our little american shitshow fridge
#minxiety#legally we’re middle class functionally we’re working class#we’re only there legally because gpa works two jobs for like 80 hours a week#it doesn’t really affect me that much#but it does mean we end up with shitty frozen food instead of actual meals..#neither of which i know how to make on my own (was never taught).#actually more that i think about it the money thing does affect me kind of#like our heaters don’t stop working in the middle of a blizzard (they did once tho)#but i don’t see doctors or dentists for checkups ever. partially due to his negligence and i guess maybe medical bills#idk man. this is coming from a middle class family so imagine the american working class
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wow I didn’t think reblogging that tea post and then seeing people’s tags would deal me such strong psychic damage. come over I can fix you I can find a tea you will like. “I don’t like tea” how can you say that as a blanket statement when there are so many vastly different kinds of tea. head in hands
#‘it’s like coffee but not good’#while a cup of black tea does have a great deal less caffeine in it than coffee#it also has a stimulant called l-theanine which is NOT found in coffee#and the more complex combination of the two stimulants hit your system much more slowly#which is why tea doesn’t give you jitters like coffee does#anyone who’s like wow I need my coffee to survive but I hate that it makes me nauseous and gives me heart palpitations and bad breath#to you I say. wean yourself off coffee and onto tea!!!!!!!#but WAIT I can keep going. nauseous? ginger tea. sore throat? peppermint contains menthol which works as a numbing agent#green and black teas are both very high in antioxidants#chamomile and lavender do both have a calming affect#BUT WHAT ABOUT THE TASTE I hear you say#IT TASTES LIKE GRASS. try a floral tea or a black tea or chai or Thai tea#ITS SO BITTER you’re either steeping it for too long or the water you’re using is too hot#not to sound like I’m fucking uncle iroh or something I just apparnerlt have strong thoughts and feelings about tea#I can’t handle ppl going ugh I hate tea and it’s like. overbrewed lipton in microwaved tap water.#anyway MY favorites are jasmine and lavender earl grey#and currently I’m really into this corn silk tea my brother bought me at h mart#it’s like gen mai cha but even more#congrats for making it this far into my tea rant tags. if you comment your tastes I can give you a personalized tea recommendation
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I’ve seen so much shitty ship content in the marble hornets fandom since I’ve joined that I’m starting to get sick of shipping as a whole, ngl. I’m staring hard at the main contenders here, Jaylex, Brim, and Jam. Brilex is another ship I see frequently fucked up a lot too, but yea whatever. I’m not condemning people who get it wrong because I’m not the goddamn messiah of characterization either but there’s gotta be a line to be drawn, right? like with all the absurd vaguely uncensored abused x abuser content associated with jaylex, the uncomfortable brim content where every instance of hoody fucking up Tim's life on **PURPOSE** is ignored for the sake of a cuddle or for the sake of sexualization, THE HEAVY OVER-SEXUALIZATION OF BRILEX, and the fully fleshed out personalities of Tim and Jay being washed away and sacrificed for mischaracterized, stereotypical, romantic interactions that really isn’t something the character would ever do but rather something the author wants them to act out. <- honestly the last bit can be applied to all other ships too! And it isn’t my only gripe with Jam specifically but I feel like my specific criticism on it deserves another post that will probably never come haha.
#marble hornets#I would tag all the ships mentioned but I’m not doing allat#This isn’t some attack on those who do this but I’m telling y’all it’s getting really boring out here#It’s the same shit every day and I can’t seem to find a single accurate portrayal of any of their relationships EVEN OUTSIDE OF ROMANCE!#Last time I read any realll good fanfiction or takes about any MH ship the posts were all from 2015 😭#Has the pandemic rotted everyone’s media literacy or is this some coping mechanism? To turn these characters into lifeless puppets#Devoid of their personalities just so we can make them do dress up and act out our fantasies rather than actually tell a story 😭?#OKAY FOR CLARIFICATION You don’t NEED to tell a story with fanart NO DIP and honestly shitpost exists for this very reason BUT to willingly#Ignore the amazing writing of the characters of marble hornets is a DISSERVICE to the story#That being said it doesn’t affect me too much personally it’s just bugging me so if you really are that bugged by this bigass complaint jus#Ignore it and do whatever you want to#I’m just putting my thoughts into the world here because it’s so repetitive I’ve started to have half the brain to block ship tags lately
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Actually laughing so hard, Pav truly is a poor little meow meow, doomed by the narrative, 100% asshole, fuck your redemption you bitch
#anyway *continued making my lil comic where he does get redeemed*#I do appreciate that Miro seems to avoid more complex fanwork if only to keep it from his own vision#really that’s SUCH a good thing to do (especially for legal reasons) and not a lot of indie creators know to do that#but it also just makes me more comfortable delving into a fan world w/o the fear of accidentally insulting or affecting the original writer#I love miro’s world and want to see more of his vision even if it doesn’t match with my theories and headcanons#but I also love my theories and headcanons and wanna play with them as much as possible#best way to do that is for creators to NEVER SEE ME PLEASE#IM SORRY WHEN YOU GIVE ME A LOSER LIKE PAV IM GONNA HIT HIM WITH THE GOOD GUY BEAM ITS NOT YOU ITS ME#anyway here’s hoping we see more asshole pav in the future because umm yes please 🤲🏽#fear and hunger#fear and hunger termina#fh pav#art#I guess#barely#more like me going on an adhd ramble and the art’s just kinda there
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such is the tale of a ✨chronically online hypocrite✨
#(please forgive this old folk’s rambling for a hot min bc i need to get this off my chest somehow and in some way)#tl;dr: come and get into the hw idol series!!! we have ship discourse; more ship discourse; even more ship discourse#(yes ik people should be free to ship what they do b u t claiming a noncanon ship as canon and forcing it on everyone else is. not cool.)#yes yes friday’s mv was visually cute and ino.rin’s singing was peak b u t i feel like it has caused more harm than good in some way???#i cant b e l i e v e the jp hwtwt beef over friday’s mv is still going on mannnnnnnnn#no less than 3 separate people have made posts along the lines of#‘p l s stop using [official tags] to post about *[unnamed] non-official ships* p l s there’s a time and place for everything’#and n o n e of them even remotely run in the same circles yet they’re all banded together against a *certain* group lmfao never change hwtwt#lhy (esp yhy) shippers are always at the scene of the crime mannnnnnn#i cant see anything on their end of the naval battle (has every single lhy tag+account that i could think of blocked)#b u t it’s still really funny to witness on my twtdash against my will. i think i need to touch grass#‘kyhn isn’t canon either so why do you like it while being such a hater towards lhy—‘#great question!!!!!! it’s bc (disregarding the movie) they actually interact really well together~~~ like the honeypre event y k—#and also bc yukki treats hina really nicely all the time (even when she was being tsun and literally running from her feelings for him)#a n d hina loved him for who he truly was; even before his image change arc. and she also does her best to appeal to him and such~~~~~~~#but lhy. uh. they just bully hiyo 95% of the time and while they do look out for her bc they’re pals#they’re just pals. guys. and lxl have gone ‘uwu it must be u uwu’ to each other one too many times so shoehorning hiyo between them would.#be pretty weird ngl? esp since the ‘widely accepted’ portrayal of lhy as a trio is p much just hiyo x 2 dudes who dont even like each other#and. like. a branch of such portrayals usually seem to have aizo waft away from the ‘r/s triad’ to date mona instead which is. very weird.#some people just pick and choose aizo and mona interactions dont they. all they see is the umbrella scene and go ‘ah yes. canon’#they dont even read further to see how mona doesn’t even use the umbrella after aizo leaves (clear rejection)#a n d how aizo doesn’t even remember giving the umbrella to mona + mona’s entire existence in general after that#and that’s not even counting the grudge mona refuses to let go of even after what looks to be literal months#so for certain shippers to just casually shoo aizo out of the hiyoharem and into mona’s unwilling arms for the sake of yhy is. weird.#and like. shouldn’t he and yujiro have a say in this?? they’re more interested in each other than hiyo so just how are they being commonly#portrayed as hiyosimps in fanon? im so confused… like. wouldn’t they be equally obsessed with each other (as w/ hiyo) if they were a rstrio?#aaaaaa get this off my twtdash plsssssssss pls see this post twtapp pls let this affect your dumb algorithm im tired of the ship discourseee#as funny as the ‘lhy vs the world’ naval warfare is it’s getting. um. very annoying!!!! and now im missing nagisa more than ever s o b s#plsplsplsplsplsplsplsplspls influence the algorithm ragepost; ik big brother is 👀watching👀 so do your thing—#(pls feel free to duke it out with me too if y’all read this i need my birdsite algorithm to le a r n that i dont wanna see stuff like this)
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obsessed w the tags on ur last reblog
Omgg, thank you haha, it was a quality post so I just had to appreciate it in full force 😂❤️
Can‘t believe someone would actually enjoy my yapping :,D
#guys help is it time for a rebranding?? am I just gonna post about f1 now??#I still can’t believe this has all started because bestie and I were watching Ted Lasso (because I’ve been obsessed with that show for a#while now too) and I paused the episode to talk about how I really like the way Jamie interacts with kids (I’m sorry people being good with#and nice to kids is one of my weaknesses I work with kids now and have been invested in treating kids well forever)#so me saying that apparently reminded her of max and she showed me a video of him with p and yeah it was very effective in making me like#him and then we left the episode on pause and she told me a lot about f1 and max specifically cause I was interested now lmao (funny thing#is that she also got roped into it by our other friends I swear it’s speeding lmao#she also compared him to Jamie from Ted lasso (if you know you know) and showed me some heart wrenching Taylor swift edits (i haven’t#emotionally recovered yet) and yeah that’s how I started consuming way too much f1 content on YouTube and got into this whole mess lmao#oh yeah our friends also made me and another friend make a Tier list for all the drivers based on vibes alone (cause I only knew a bit about#max at that time and the other one knew nothing really) which was very funny too#especially looking back at it (we did some of them so dirty lmao 😂)#I’ve also come to the conclusion that tumblr is still one of the least annoying platforms to engage with other people (still)#YouTube is full of hate comments about drivers and stuff it’s so annoying actually#not to mention Twitter but I don’t go there and probably never will 😂#I personally don’t enjoy fics and scenarios and shipping of real people cause it makes me a bit uncomfy (not judging people who do#you do you as long as it doesn’t negatively affect anyone#but yeah I’d much rather just scroll by those here than have to look away from all the mindless hate and which driver is better discussions#everywhere else like I’m not one to engage with stuff like that but it does upset me to some#degree so yeah tumblr making memes and being rather positive about their drivers (most of what I’ve seen here of course there are gonna be#annoying people everywhere) is much more tolerable and a lot more enjoyable for me#whoops this post got away from me again oh dear#I’ve had the idea for a meme stuck in my head for days now: Max verstappen but make it if you don’t love me at my *swearing on team radio#giving spicy replies and attitude to the media maxplaining and complaining going for risky overtakes* you don’t deserve me at my *precious#interactions with p talking about his cats being a goofball with other drivers and especially danny defending other drivers driving#beautifully in the rain* it’s a package deal you can’t just pick and choose and personally I don’t even get why people complain about some#of the other stuff I appreciate someone who’s passionate and honest and genuinely kind where it matters 🤷🏻♀️#I think I’ve seen someone else say that but the more people complain about and criticize max the more I feel the need to defend him#god forbid women have hobbies for real (can’t believe I’ve yapped so much I can’t put more tags 💀)#also shoutout to Oscar Piastri and Danny Ric (I was so happy Oscar won even tho McLaren where being very silly in a not so funny way)
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I don’t really think much at all anymore about my last relationship but when bpd is brought up my mind goes to this immediate switch in my partner’s behavior when I finally told them I think I have bpd -__- I was always so careful to not come off as jealous of their friends (and I succeeded most of the time, but it was so insanely stressful inside) but as soon as I told them about bpd, they started acting as if I would get angry about them hanging out w people (and other stuff but mostly that)… which made everything worse. I remember the last straw for me was them going to fucking KNOTFEST with their bff and not even telling me. Acting like it’s a dark secret. Only found out cuz their mom talked about it. And I was like oh why didn’t you wanna tell me that sounds fun. And they’re like. You would get mad. Brother I had NEVER showed anger towards ANYTHING like that before because I was so scared of being unknowingly abusive 😭 what the helllll
#sowwie it still kind of bugs me. like it didn’t matter how I actually acted. once the words bpd left my mouth it was an instant switch#craaaazy. oh well LOL#doesn’t really matter anymore. peace and love#like it was constant them trying to cover up the most mundane things as if I was some violent predator. idk#I think it stuck with me so much cuz I put a lot of effort esp back then into not letting my insecurities affect my relationship. I was#scared shitless of that. and scared shitless of being harmful. sooo.
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“He is not to them what he is to me,” I thought: “he is not of their kind. I believe he is of mine;—I am sure he is—I feel akin to him—I understand the language of his countenance and movements: though rank and wealth sever us widely, I have something in my brain and heart, in my blood and nerves, that assimilates me mentally to him.” Jane Eyre, XVII.
18 / 139 / 91 / 78 / 2 / 12 / 75 / 80 / 75
#''we are very much alike‚ you and I. I and you. us.'' ''oh‚ except for a sense of honour‚ and decency‚ and a moral centre.''#➤ roger collins & victoria winters. ┊ pain sometimes precedes pleasure，miss winters.#➤ edits & art. ┊ the evans cottage art gallery.#compilation tag#this is. well idk if it's anything. it's not nothing.#but ... man. i happened upon that line of david's and i simply. yelling. in context... does it mean much? not really.#other than .. partially gesturing to the shared evolution in their relationship with david — from david's hatred and wanting them dead#to open affection and protection. but anyway … their parallelism compels me. their matching outfits!#as though they were … not perfect mirrors to each other‚ but contorted ones. not quite foils‚ less than doubles.#a reflection in water — not silver.#Roger’s likeness to Vicki doesn’t feel as immediately obvious (at least to me) as the parallels drawn between he and Carolyn#(who is a collins formed in his own image — physically as well as emotionally; mentally)#Vicki though: outwardly quite different. where roger is callous‚ selfish‚ tempestuous‚ hedonistic;#Vicki is ingenuous‚ compassionate‚ stoic‚ temperate#but they find in each other more of themselves than they’d like to. roger who sees in her not only the imagined weakness of her alliance#with Burke‚ but the weakness (so perceived) of authentic affection‚ of curiosity‚ loneliness‚ even love for his own family. For his son.#the interest in collinwood's ghosts that he would like so well to ignore.#and Vicki who finds herself always with ''a potentiality for corruption.''#she’d like to believe she remains here selflessly — out of love for David and wanting to help him — but it is her own self interest that#keeps her here: wanting to know her past‚ wanting to know these people‚ to be involved with them (no matter how fervently she denies it)#she who typically is calm as still water in suffering their wrongs but can lose her temper as well as roger if pressed.#who begins as almost pure truth but begins to lie — first via omission‚ then conscious untruths.#who — not without good reason — falls into paranoid suspicion of him just as he had her.#Vicki who is an auditory and visual echo — repeating dialogue; repeating clothing; repeating his haunts of the cliffs and the beach.#anyways. I just think they’re neat :) I love a gothic almost-couple
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Isn’t it so wonderful that there are people that make you feel safe and happy and full of love whenever you’re around them
#I got to hang out with a friend today I haven’t really talked to a while and it is the highlight of my day💗💖#She is genuinely one of the most amazing people I have ever met and I love her SO MUCH💕💞#She’s wonderful and kind and silly and weird and understanding and one of my favorite humans#And she doesn’t like hugs and I do but that’s ok since we have physical affection different ways like holding each others arms or bonking#into each other and she is the funniest ever even though her go to joke has been the same thing for at least two years#ADJSHSJK I LOVE FRIENDS YALL!!! FRIENDS ARE THE BEST!!!!!#It would be embarrassing if she saw this and knew it was me though lmaoo#saturn says stuff
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The weekly catch-up phone calls with my soulmate who broke up with me “for my own good” yet still expects me to be his best friend are becoming more a source of anxiety than comfort lately folks
-Riley
#the breakup#<in case anyone wants to blacklist I’m starting a tag for it#I’ve been working on breaking the fp bond bc I literally cannot survive with him still being my fp and it’s working a little bit#until like. the night & day before the call rolls around and all the feelings come flooding back and I can’t sleep or focus#Monty is trying to get me to go no contact#Vic is trying to get me to space out conversations to every other week#I hate how much he’s still affecting me tbh. I need it to stop or I’m going to go insane fr#it’s getting to the point where my system is honestly unsure whether or not we’re still compatible as FRIENDS anymore#cuz like. doesn’t feel like it#but I still really really don’t want to lose them#so I’m resistant to stepping back entirely#but I think I can agree to Vic’s suggestion
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There is no version of the story that has Belly ending up with Con that exists as a happy ending to me.
#when i say i am team belly AND jere and that’s why i ship them#this is what i mean#i don’t really multiship with them#like ofc i wonder about cam in whatif situations#but at the end of the day they’re each others in a way they never can be for anyone else#jelly bears#team jelly#bellyjere#i loathe book 3 so much you don’t even know#because it keeps on being brought up in season 3 what if/oh this is definitely happening doom posts#wild idea guys: just hear me out#WHAT IF IT FUCKING DOESN’T?#like none of the shit people are projecting on show belly even happens?#like maybe teenagers grow and realize that their previous relationships while important#ultimately don’t affect their present because love changes and people change#and just because you were in love with one brother doesn’t mean#the love you have for the other one is lesser or invalid#it’s just DIFFERENT#and what if: the brothers work on their shit OUTSIDE of Belly?#jere said it himself there were already issues that had nothing to do w her#like love triangles are messy and they’re supposed to be#but having it be the One Sole Plot taking oxygen from the rest of the storylines#weakens the whole show and characterizations#damn it i’ve written yet another essay in the tags
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Chat what if I started crying
Tw for animal death in the tags
#my senior cat is doing not great#she must’ve been bitten by some large neighborhood animal#she’s pretty sick and has some bite marks from canine teeth on her lower back#she probably won’t make it through the night#I really hope she does so we can get her to the vet#why didn’t we take her when we first found the bite marks#if she doesn’t at least she dies with loved ones#unlike my other cat#who died from being attacked by some different beast#like god two three years ago at this point#idk why this cat is making me feel so much worse#maybe it’s because instead of my mom randomly sitting me down and telling me#I’m watching her decline in real time#we probably won’t get another new cat after this#I hope we do though#I don’t like not having a fuzzy little study buddy#and my other cat at the moment doesn’t really do affection#I have a little bit of hope though because she still has enough energy to be hissy spitty at the dog for simply existing#and when we moved her from one end of a bed to the other she stood up and re situated herself#lowkey wanna start sobbing but idk I feel like that’d make my parents pay attention to me and that’s lowkey what I don’t want#like idk my family does the physical affection like hugging and shit#but when k feel like shit that’s not really my thing#and boy howdy do I feel like shit#anyway rant over#bye
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no one except me should be allowed to touch childhood friends to lovers tropes ever
#this is really only about twst#theres not really a problem with riddle and trey but it’s just so off putting to me for some reason it doesn’t feel right#they’re relationship seems so strictly platonic to me. like as a kid trey had this friend who didn’t get to have actual fun#their*#and he allowed him to actually have those experiences#but then everything went wrong because he did and you see him suffering and you just want to help!!!#you want the best for him you want to see him happy. i cannot see anything romantic in their relationship#for kalim and jamil it isn’t even about them being childhood friends it’s about how jamil feels towards kalim#maybe in the future after they graduate they’ll be friends but i don’t think jamil will ever actually feel comfortable around kalim#they don’t even have any chemistry like riddle and trey sort of do#and i don’t know how silver and sebek isn’t obvious#they read as brothers through and through. silver literally said sebek is a brother to him.#i cant even comprehend seeing their relationship as romantic ever in any universe#they seem more like brothers than jade and floyd do#idk. my brain is just so wired to seeing them as brothers that whenever i see people ship them i feel sick#oh and theres also the fact that i feel like silver is so much more mature than sebek. i think thats also a really big factor.#it really affects their dynamic#silver has such older sibling who takes care of their younger sibling alone#like if both of them didn’t have parents silver would totally take up the parental mentality and he would always make sure sebek had someone#to rely on#ok that’s enough hate posting for now
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I have really good news??? This is unbelievable???
Okay so I happened to see this tumblr post https://www.tumblr.com/zralokx/749333568797425664/i-miss-you and I stared at it for a few seconds and I was mesmerized??? Like I didn’t even feel bad or sad I was actually pretty happy, like how I was before May 2024. Is this a sign that I’m healing and moving on???
#electric light orchestra#richard tandy#this is not to say I will forget or ignore him#never#yes I still am sad over what happened#I do still feel for him at times#but I just feel healthier like it doesn’t affect me as much#especially since this was a musician I giggle at on my phone and not like a really good friend or family member#it’s like different to me#death#like I feel like I just came out of a cocoon???#or like I’ve just been born?#this feeling is so weird I don’t even know how to describe it#the best way I could describe it is that#I feel as if a switched was flipped in my brain?#I’m actually on top of the world right now basically?
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.
#it’s weird because i always know before it’s even said#but it still hurts each time?#wild#hitting on some real tender spots that i thought i left behind years ago#it’s not. like. punch to the gut whole world seems wrong level.#it’s more like a short sharp stab in my heart the size of a pencil#but it’s still definitely not fun#especially with everything else going on#just. overwhelmingly bad timing for me personally which is wildly selfish#but i think i’m allowed to feel that way so long as i don’t let if affect the way i act#still very much trying not to pull away#and that’s kind of really fucking hard#because it’s so much easier to make the decision myself#but i’ve learned from my mistakes and i don’t plan on hurting anyone like that again if i can help it#i just. i’m tired. i’m tired of putting on a brave face for everyone and still not doing a great job at it.#my friend today said ‘you’re allowed to be grumpy’ before we hung out and that felt really good#and i found that i didn’t even have to put on a brave face around her or pretend to not be grumpy#i just wasn’t grumpy anymore#so that was definitely nice#there are good things in my life!#and i know this#it’s just hard when so much is changing at the same time and it definitely doesn’t feel#like it’s for the better#but: i have my friends and i’m going back to school#(both of which are actually also causes of stress rn but ALSO sources of joy and excitement)#anyway glad i can talk here#kinda want to cut my chest open and bleed out the painful bits#but talking is a decent alternative#personal
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So…with what’s going on w/ ao3 right now what are your thoughts?
(For those who don’t know apparently ao3 laid off one of their volunteers for being pro-Palestine??? Idk I don’t use Twitter, take my words with a grain of salt)
#little something ⌞🐚🐁⌝#I don’t use ao3#nor do I donate to them#so it doesn’t really affect me that much#Im just gonna stay in my little corner to see how this plays out#but I wanna see what you guys think#Ao3#tw palestine#i guess#Proship#kinda?
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