#it does depend on where you are of course but often musicians will travel for festivals so they keep it in mind

[aeolianblues]

There needs to be a way of describing 'the next four months' that doesn't sound like a business meeting, if someone in earnest said 'Q1' to me outside of work stuff I'd slowly back out, walk away and then probably spontaneously combust in flames five minutes later

[ryoskuna]

⭑ shaken, not stirred universe. | introduction.

notes: we’ve heard about bartender!sukuna, so get ready for the others! think of this as those choose-your-own adventure games, where you can choose your own love interest and path. you’re not just limited to sukuna, but you’ve got many more love interests you can choose (or request).  this is just a humble introduction to the roles each jjk character fills within the shaken, not stirred universe, and may allude to some of the situations you may encounter on you way. so grab a snack, buckle in, cause it’s going to be one hell of a ride.

depending on how tumblr updates go, this may become a project reserved for AO3, but I’ll do what I can for now, here on tumblr. feel free to ask about any of the characters, and you all know how to find my inbox. additionally, i’m going to try and make this as gender-neutral and reader-neutral as possible, BUT, i’m also slightly biased in making content for black girls because I am one, so we’ll see how this goes. each drabble or fic will be marked for what kind of reader it discusses.  also, i’m a sucker for a good oc... so there may be a whole related series with an original character(s). this is just the introduction for the universe so you know who is who.

MAIN ROUTES INCLUDE: sukuna, toji, nanami, megumi, yuji, mei mei, gojo, and geto.  i’d be open to include routes for nobara, maki, inumaki, yuta, kamo, todo, momo, and mai (and maybe, choso) (but by default, nobara and maki are together unless requested individually, and mai is with momo (unless you request them individually as well). regardless of route, shoko and utahime are together.) but you would have to request these characters as in send me a message going “for the shaken not stirred universe, i would like a mai x reader, or nobara x reader”.

warnings: they’ll vary by route/character you choose, however, some general warnings is mentions of alcohol, past relationships, drama, angst. there’s some potential for 18+ content, however it will be marked as such (should it occur). oh, and there’s probably some unchecked grammar or spelling errors. there’s also a little bit of manga spoilers due to some characters being introduced.

summary: welcome to malevolent shrine, in the heart of shibuya, and one of the best rated bars on yelp.  for all it’s worth ( and that one entryway at the side that you have to go down a set of exterior stairs and through a laundromat to get through that entrance) and despite the name, in its two story glory, it’s a fun place to be. the people who enter or work there are even better. and they’ve all got stories to tell.  sit back, grab a drink, and prepare for what may be some of the most interesting events you’ve ever seen. 

bonus: sukuna specific playlist ( x ), malevolent shrine playlist ft. sounds from their local acts/musicians ( x ), more to be added later (i am thinking of one called ‘toji’s ipod shuffle’, another called ‘dancing in gojo’s living room’, and one called ‘sitting in the passenger seat of geto’s car’.) 

© all characters belong to gege akutami.  however, this au and associated ideas are of my own creation, do not steal. 

introducing the characters!

bartender!sukuna: new owner of the bar, malevolent shrine. when he gained ownership two years ago, he remodeled the bar and renamed it, as it was about to foreclose until he took managerial control, and the original owner gave him the bar when they retired.  has a college degree in art history and art, has a few business management courses under his belt.  he’s yuji’s older brother, and he’s very intense.  there’s headcanons for him here ( x ).  he has a signature drink, named after the bar, called malevolent shrine. 

accountant!nanami: think of him as sukuna’s second in command (next to uraume) but he manages the finances of malevolent shrine. also hates work, but sukuna allows him to do what he wants, so he enjoys it slightly more. has a signature drink called 7-to-3. 

budding model!nobara: in a professional rivalry with mai, however she is a signed to a modeling agency as well as growing in her instagram presence. 

college student!maki: she is in her senior year of college, and is an athlete that does track and field — shot-put and discus and javelin.

benefactor!gojo: an old classmate of sukuna’s, now turned benefactor and donor to malevolent shrine to keep it open. he and sukuna have a so-so relationship (with gojo remembering that sukuna took the job as a way to take care of his younger brother yuji and their grandfather). sukuna did make a drink in his honor called infinite void.

restaurant owner!geto: owns a high-scale restaurant with mei mei. raising two twin girls.  he’s mostly a retired pianist, but he helped sign the lease with mei mei for stability’s sake. 

benefactor!mei mei: is a rival to gojo, both in terms of owning her restaurant (more like funding it) and buys whatever she likes (whether it’s an item or a person). 

culinary student!yuji: works as a “head” of the kitchen at malevolent shrine. he’s sukuna’s younger brother, and sukuna tends to give him free reign on the meals that he makes. but everything he makes is good. when he’s not at school or malevolent shrine, he’s usually hanging out with nobara and megumi. 

indie artist!megumi: one of the main and recurring acts at malevolent shrine. plays the guitar and will deny that he ever learned how to play the violin. he’s sort of adopted by gojo, but knows his father toji, and they’re working on reconciling their relationship. he’s roommates with yuji and nobara, and often used as nobara’s photographer.

bouncer!toji: the dilf. he’s boxing buddies with sukuna, as well as a force to be reckoned with at the bar. he’s good at his job and dare someone to pick a fight with him. you won’t win.  sukuna made a drink in his honor called playful cloud. 

musician!kamo: does a mixture of traditional japanese music and heavy metal, and he’s rivals with megumi. he can play an electric shamisen.

instagram model!mai and makeup artist!momo: sort of girlfriends, sort of FWBs, sort of exes, no one is exactly sure what’s going on there, and no one wants to ask. mai is a popular instagram model, but has yet to be signed to an agency. momo is her makeup artist, as well as a professional one. 

part-time waitress!miwa: she works at malevolent shrine, helping as a waitress, and has a baking yt channel that’s growing in popularity and often features her two brothers. 

physical trainer!todo: works at the gym sukuna and toji frequently attend. he’s very supportive to old and newcomers alike, and does not tolerate elitists who have been going to the gym for years. he also does the occasional twitch stream of his workouts.

guitarist!yuta: plays the guitar for inumaki. he can play both electric and acoustic, and he’s like a second cousin to gojo, although no one is exactly sure how they’re related.

singer!inumaki: he’s a singer, however, no one has ever seen his face when he performs. he performs as a silhouette behind a screen.

paramedic!shoko and high school teacher!utahime: shoko is a paramedic who attends the bar on her days off, and often drags utahime along. shoko makes sure that geto and gojo get along in public, and makes sure utahime relaxes to some extent.

shoko and sukuna hold each other accountable for not relapsing on their smoking addiction.

promotions and tech support!mechamaru: works at malevolent shrine and helps with the graphic design as well as tech support for the bands and musical acts that come through the bar. watches miwa’s baking channel in his spare time, and will talk to her about her recipes. has a crush on miwa.

notes: 

geto and gojo are very complicated exes. no one knows how they broke up or why — just that it happened in front of a kfc —but there’s so many stories about them floating around like they were going to elope and travel the world, but no one knows the exact truth. 

gojo raised megumi and tsumiki very briefly for some years while toji was a brief drifter. yes, megumi is aware that toji is his dad.

yuji, nobara, and megumi are roommates.

yuta and inumaki are a musical duo. they come as a set.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #336

"get back, you’re never gonna leave him  /  get back, you’re always gonna please him”

What were your favorite things to draw when you were a lil kid? When I was a very little kid, idk. But once I got into meerkats... I drew them like crazy. Do you think there is something with or around you, like a spirit, angel, ghost or something else? How does this make you feel? No. Imagine you’re a stranger looking at yourself. What things would immediately catch your eye? Ugh, let's not. When did you feel the most confident in your life? Probably my senior year of high school. I was happy with Jason with plans for the future together, I was doing excellently in school... I thought I was really going to go somewhere. Do you think love is needed to have good sex? For some people, no. For me, loving one another is an absolute must. Do you think, or want to, die in the city you currently live in? Fuuuuuuuck no, I hate it here. What is the strangest thing you have ever encountered? Probably when I was otw home from my doctor appointment and we passed a random guy in drag walking on the side of the street... That guy is an icon. Favourite soft drink? It's really strawberry Sunkist, but I love it to a degree I don't even allow myself to drink it, because I will fucking destroy that shit so quick. So I tend to just say Mountain Dew Voltage is my fave. What do you like to put gravy on? I hate gravy, period. Have you ever gone canoeing/kayaking? No, but it sounds fun. What is one thing you know about your family history you’re proud of? Uhhhh idk. Who depends on you the most? My snake. Are you related to anyone famous or historical, if so who? Yes; William Clark and Queen Victoria or Queen Elizabeth, idr which. Would you ever donate a kidney to anyone, and who? Mom. She only has one kidney, so, y'know. She kinda needs at least one. I wouldn't even hesitate. What is the main quality you think makes a great parent? Unconditional love. What three things do you think of most of each day? My weight is #1. Every second of every day, it, as well as Jason, are somewhere towards the front of my mind. The final is financial and job-oriented stuff. Does/did your high school have pop machines? It did. Do you know anyone who’s won the lottery? No. Have you ever slept in a water bed? Yeah. How often do you use Flickr? I pretty much abandoned my account; nowadays I only occasional check my friend's profile who works at the Kalahari Meerkat Project because she uploads wonderful pictures of the 'kats as well as gives interesting info about them! Who is the last child that you took a photo with? Mom took a picture of me holding my youngest niece Emerson because it surprised everyone; I NEVER hold babies. She crawled over to me and reached up though, so of course I was going to pick her up. How often do you wear hats? Never. Would you ever get a nature tattoo? Sure! Idk what, but I'm rather sure I'll get at leaast one. Is anyone in your family sick at the moment? No. Where do your siblings work, if anywhere? My older sister is a mammographer, and my younger sis is a social worker. Where is your favorite place to buy groceries? Wal-Mart, I guess. Who do you generally talk to the most? My mom. Is anyone saved in your phone under a nickname? Mom is "Mama Bear," and then my siblings are "Little Sister" and "Big Sister." Whose birthday is coming up? My lil sister has her birthday in April. Have you ever ordered from an informercial? No. When, where, and why did a needle last pierce your skin? I needed to get blood drawn for some testing. It was drawn from my inner elbow, obviously at the doctor. Have you been to an escape room? Was it a success? I never have, but it'd be fun. I enjoy puzzles. How many followers do you have on Instagram? I don't feel like checking. What’s the most recent music video you watched? Thoughts? "Mutter" by Rammstein. I picked a screenshot from it to draw, so I rewatched it to select one. It's a beautiful video, but also strange, which Rammstein is great at. Have you ever recorded a cover of a song? No. What makeup products are your go-tos? If I wear makeup, the bare minimum is black eyeliner. Are you going to school this year? No. I gave college as many shots as I could handle both sanity-wise and with finances in mind. I do NOT want to even ATTEMPT to imagine the debt I have after going to three different colleges and dropping out each time. What is your favorite water activity? I enjoy just kinda swimming around aimlessly, relaxing. What are your favorite video games? Okay, I talk about SH2 and SotC enough on questions like this, so I'll mention some others I really enjoy as well: the Silent Hill franchise in general, Spyro games, The Last Guardian, both The Evil Withins, The Last of Us, some Resident Evil games (the 4th in particular), etc. etc. I just love video games. Do you like jello? I enjoy the flavor, but the texture makes me squirm. When was the last time you gave someone "the finger?" Probably while riding in the car with Mom when a dumb motherfucker swerved into our lane. Or something like that, idr the exact occasion. Have you ever held a snake? Yesssss, I want to hold all the snakes. ;_; Most unique place you’ve ever been to? Uh. I guess maybe the Whirligig Park/"Acid Park" nearby us? It's just this large expanse of unique architecture that are mostly, as you guessed it, extravagant whirligigs. You've got to see it if you come to the town. I have some pictures on my deviantART if you wanna see a few pieces. If you were a superhero, what color would your cape be? NO CAPES! Have you ever slept out on your porch all night? Oh fuck no. I'd feel way, way too unsafe. Do you like horror movies? Yeah! What’s your favorite Coke product? Just normal Coke. Watergun or water-balloon war? Watergun. I don't like being hit with stuff. Do you know anyone that’s afraid of elevators? I kind of am. Is there anything in your room that belongs to a boyfriend, or a friend of the opposite sex? I have three plushies from Jason, Tyler, and Girt. My Marilyn Manson poster is also from Juan. Who’s your favorite Beatle? I don't know; I was never a big fan, so I don't know any of them as people well at all. Have you ever texted an ex whilst drunk? How’d that go? I've never been drunk, but no, I've never texted an ex because I was drinking. Do you have to stand on your tip-toes to kiss your boyfriend? I don't have one. The only instance where I had to do that was with Girt. Tall motherfucker. Have you ever been tackle-hugged? Yes. Those are the best. Have you ever rejected someone’s kiss before? Girt once tried to make out with me and I noped the fuck outta that situation. It was so fucking awkward. Is your mood or the overall tone of your day often affected by the dreams you had the night before? My nightmares definitely can. Do you think that there are any positive aspects or outcomes of suffering from a mental illness? If you have a mental illness, do you think it has changed you for the better in any way? I definitely believe my mental illnesses forced me to mature faster and also instilled a great sense of empathy in me. And don't forget emotional endurance. What is your opinion on celebrity culture and celebrity worship? Have you ever been guilty of putting a celebrity on a pedestal? Do you think it’s somehow more acceptable/understandable to obsess over certain types of celebrities (musicians over YouTubers, say) than others? At what point do you think an obsession like that crosses the line? It's dangerous and can be very blinding. An outsider could say I put Mark on a pedestal, but I've always been very aware that he's not perfect and really just another human, I just happen to love him a lot for the human he is, haha. As time's passed, my vision of him has become healthier though (not to say it ever reached the "unhealthy" threshold); it's gotten easier for me to judge him and stuff like that. I think an obsession crosses the line when you put on rose-tinted glasses to look upon someone and entirely ignore their flaws, or if you try to invade their personal lives, ex. being one of those creeps that loiter outside their houses and stuff. If you were to pursue a career in photography and had the opportunity and means to photograph whatever you wanted, what would most like to photograph? Ah, livin' the dream. If I had to choice and would be paid well regardless of focus, I would absolutely travel and photograph the local nature/wildlife. Is there a certain type of clothing (outerwear, activewear, loungewear, etc.) that you enjoy shopping for more than others? Shirts, 100%. Are you ever afraid to post your ideas, artwork, photography, etc. online for fear that they will get stolen or not credited? When it comes to OCs, yes, given that things have been stolen from me before. Photography doesn't worry me much because I don't think I'm good enough for someone to possibly want to steal it (and besides, I use a watermark), and I do the same for drawings. It's the unique characters I make I worry about being stolen if I share them. When is the last time you did something sexual? A few years back. Who is the last person you showered with, if anyone? I haven't showered with someone since I was a little kid and my younger sister and I would to conserve water. What do you think when you see roadkill on the side of the road? It really makes me genuinely sad, and I always wonder if it could have been avoided if the driver was more alert, slower, and thinking about more than the damage it could cause to their car... I enjoy photographing roadkill, brutal as it may be, out of respect for them and the desire to make their individual stories known and just kind of like, raise awareness of it. Too many people are just annoyed by hitting an animal versus more concerned. "Stupid deer," stuff like that. I sometimes worry that doing so can be interpreted as disrespect, to photograph and publish pictures of their corpses online, but I sure hope not. It's the least of my intentions. I just want people to see and care. Have you ever had an ex that just didn’t understand that it was over? Biiiitch I was that ex, 120%. But besides my situation with Jason, this was how Tyler was. I had to tell him about five thousand times to stop texting me. Are your fingernails currently short or long? They're always pretty short. Would you rather have big or small dogs? I like medium-sized dogs most. I'd have to pick large dogs between the two, though. What is your favorite sports drink? I'm not a fan of sports drinks. What was the last compliment you gave a guy? Yesterday, a guy in PHP shared two poems he wrote while hospitalized, and they were wonderful, so full of passion and emotion. I sure as hell told him they were amazing. He's going for his Master's for poetry, so he knows what he's doing for real. Does your jaw ever crack, pop, or lock? It's popped on very, very few occasions. Have you ever thought of how you would give your kids “the talk”? I don't want kids, so no, I've never thought of this. I certainly wouldn't wait for sex ed in school, though. I feel like it's a bit late. I feel children need to know what it's about at a younger age with how disgusting some people are... I want them to be informed on what consent and molestation are so they know to let Mama know so I can punch someone's face into a whole new galaxy if they're ever violated. Do you ever feel like you’re missing out on something? Oh, always. Do you ever write/draw on windows that are fogged up? I did as a kid, sure. Not so much now. If you were married, and your spouse’s parents became ill, would you let them move into your home? If they were truly sick enough to need assistance but not actual hospitalization, yes. I'd want my spouse to do the same for me. Have you screamed in a pillow before? Yyyyep. What do you like more, acoustic or electric? Electric. Did you actually have a cookie jar? We have a Santa one, though I don't even know if we ever used it versus just having it as a decoration. What’s worse, having someone mad or disappointed in you? Disappointed. What do you bite on more, your tongue, lip, or nails? Bottom lip. Do you think that knowing when and how you’re going to die would ruin your life? "Ruin" it seems a bit extreme, but I definitely wouldn't like it. Do you have a favorite bromance? From TV or a movie. Not really, if we're only talking those two options. Do you find flea markets and thrift stores enjoyable? Yeah, you really can find the coolest shit for great prices. What color is your wallet? Mostly red and white; it's a Harley Quinn design. Have you ever been somebody's photography subject? No. Nicki Minaj fan? I believe she's a very talented rapper, but I don't enjoy her actual music. I just don't like rap. Have you ever seen the Niagara Falls? No, I wish tho.

[peace-coast-island]

Diary of a Junebug

A visit to Coral Beach

What a fun time at the beach! Coral Beach is such a lovely place - from the clear blue waters and colorful mosaics scattered throughout the boardwalk, it's one of those places ideal for vacationing based on appearance alone. No photoshopping necessary when it comes to taking pictures here!

I'm surprised that I haven't visited the beach sooner since it's about an hour away from the camp. In fact, there's still so many places nearby that I haven't been to yet. The trip was kinda a spur of the moment kind of thing Pancetti, Audie, Snooty, Lyman, and I planned at the last minute. By chance I ran into an old friend who's vacationing there too and now she's coming back with us.

So we spent a couple days at Coral Beach exploring the sights and enjoying the resort and then tomorrow we're heading back to the camp. Of course, I also spent the time catching up with Desi, who's been enjoying the seaside scenery.

Desi Rivera's an aspiring singer-songwriter who hopes to make it big one day. Right now though, she's jumping off the ladder and starting from scratch. It's a risky move, but I think it's a necessary one. Given her talent and ambition, I know that Desi will come out stronger than ever.

I met Desi at summer camp years ago. Even though we only spent one summer together, we kept in touch for a while after that. The summer camp thing was something our parents made us do and to be honest it wasn't really our thing so they didn't push us when we told them that there wasn't going to be a next summer. The experience wasn't terrible - I did make a friend after all - but summer camp and I just didn't click at all. Now that I think about it, it's kinda interesting that as an adult I'm running a camp right now - though this and summer camp are totally different.

Since Desi lived in the town nearby we often ran into each other. As we got older contact became sporadic but we occasionally said hi to each other when our paths crossed. Then as adults we regained contact on social media and have been keeping up with each other since then. Desi often posts covers and original songs, which is how she got her online following. She could've easily made it big if it weren't for certain people.

Desi's journey as a singer-songwriter is sure to become an interesting one. Ever since she could talk, Desi knew she wanted to be a singer. She always had a nice voice, one that became more refined as she got older. Talented songwriter too, with an honest and poetic way with words. And it's a damn shame that her talent has been consistently overshadowed and sidelined for white mediocrity.

Yup, I said it - mediocrity. No disrespect to Meghan Tyler and Too Cool - I mean I can see their commercial appeal, but for the most part, their music is bland and forgettable. Music tastes aside, it is pretty impressive that Desi was in the same circles as people like Meghan and Joe of the Shayne Brothers.

Desi first met the two at a camp for aspiring musicians, the well known Camp Music. She was one of many talented nobodies who wanted a glimpse at stardom. Meghan Tyler is the daughter of pop star Ann Tyler, and it was her who ran the camp, the typical queen bee. I happened to cross paths with Meghan and her friends online (unrelated reasons) and they always gave me a vibe of a high school clique. I interacted with her indirectly a couple times but then actively avoided her when her friends stirred up drama. It's one thing to vagueblog about an ex-friend who screwed you over, it's another to ruin someone's reputation by claiming that they faked their trauma just because you had a petty falling out with them.

Then there's Joe Shayne, best known as the lead singer for the Shayne Brothers. He was amazed by Desi's voice and took an interest in her. The two started off kinda rough with Joe pushing his boundaries and Desi rightfully calling him out on his entitled behavior. The whole thing was kinda like a Cinderella story with Joe trying to figure out who was the singer he overheard while passing by while Desi tried too hard to impress him after realizing who he was. By the end of the summer, they began dating, becoming regulars at Camp Music for the next several years.

Despite what the others were saying, Desi and Joe were going strong for eight years. Desi was associated with the Shayne Brothers, which was a blessing and a curse. As much as she liked Joe and his brothers, she didn't want to be known solely because of her connection to them. They were going to get engaged until last year when Desi broke things off. According to her, things had been kinda rough for a while but they tried - probably a bit too hard, in her words - to stay together. They're still friends but Desi thinks in a year or two they'll drift away, which I think is what she wants.

On one hand it's kinda sad since they've been together for so long. And from what I've heard about Joe, being with Desi helped him a lot as before he met her he was on his way to becoming a short tempered almost has-been. Basically, she made him shape up and consider his future seriously. But aside from their love of music, Desi and Joe were from completely different worlds. In the years since they got together, they've grown into two different people. The two have spoken openly about their breakup and it seems like it's for the best. Sometimes things just don't work out in the end and that's okay.

As for Meghan, Desi always had a complicated relationship with her. Being the fish out of water, Desi tried to impress Meghan, even if it meant dumbing down herself to please Meghan's ego. There was always some sort of competition between them with Desi constantly feeling like she has to prove herself. While Meghan did help Desi out with her connections and fame, Desi never felt she earned her recognition, another reason why she wanted to start from the ground up.

For years Desi was part of Meghan's band, Too Cool. While Desi occasionally had some solos that charted, she and the other members were always overshadowed by Meghan. She considers the whole experience a mixed bag, one that started out exciting but in the end the bad outweighed the good.

A few months ago, not too long after leaving Too Cool, Desi did an insightful interview for a magazine where she spoke honestly about her ups and downs with the band as well as her breakup with Joe. I always felt that she deserved better than Too Cool, especially after reading the interview. From being constantly referred to as "the Mexican one" even though she stated multiple times she's Cuban, to being told to sing slightly off key in order to make Meghan sound better - no wonder she wanted out. It's an eye opening read on the ugly side of the music industry, particularly on how WOC artists are treated.

Following her departure, another member and longtime friend of Meghan, Maria Silva, also left the band for similar reasons. She too had also spoken out about the racism she experienced, having been constantly referred to as "the Chinese one" despite being Filipino. I don't know Maria too well but she comes across as genuine and I wish her well on her solo endeavors.

Right now Desi's taking a break on music, though not entirely. She's been writing songs and making demos but it'll be a while before she releases something. For now Desi wants to celebrate her freedom, starting with a long, well deserved vacation. Then once she's had enough rest and relaxation, she plans to jump back into the music scene with a bang, this time on her own terms with her calling all the shots.

Desi's been teasing me and the campers with what she has in store. In light of the racism she experienced with Too Cool, Desi wants to embrace her Cuban culture more than ever, starting with the music. Mainstream pop radio hits aren't her thing anymore, so she's going for a new sound inspired by her Cuban roots along with her usual pop rock style she's got going on since she began writing songs. She's also considering the idea of doing an album in Spanish, though that'll depend on a lot of factors.

It's nice to see her so excited and passionate about her music - that's one of the things I love about her! Like I said, Desi's got talent and ambition, and I know that she'll successfully make a name for herself without Meghan or Joe's shadows. I mean, the demos I've heard already sound a million times better than pretty much everything Too Cool has done - imagine how the final product will be! Once the album comes out, I'll be one of the first in line to buy and download a copy.

We met up with Desi by chance at the hotel, her room being upstairs. She's been traveling around, crossing off places where she always wanted to visit. So far she's crossed off four places from her list. After Coral Beach she was debating on Hero's Tunnel and Swan Park since they're right next to each other. Since the camp's along the way, I invited her over and hopefully during her time there, she can make up her mind on where to visit first. I know she'll enjoy the camp, especially Saltwater Shores since she's a beach gal.

Coral Beach is such a beautiful place. One of the first things we did when we got there was to pose in front of the fountain and toss a bell in for a wish. Then we checked into the Coral Beach Hotel, where we got a lovely view of the ocean and fountain.

The architecture of the hotel is so pretty, it reminds me of an old village on a tropical island. Along the boardwalk are charming little shops and cafes where we got to enjoy shaved ice and fine handmade souvenirs. I got a set of cute floral teacups, a dot grid notebook with a pretty mosaic cover, a gorgeous seashell necklace, and a painted ukulele.

We went swimming and snorkeling in the ocean, where we got to see the pretty coral the place is known for. Nature can be so fascinating sometimes - the coral really does look like fancy lace! I also collected a bunch of pretty seashells like pearl oysters, which are pretty rare, as well as pink oyster shells and obsidian shells, something I've never seen before. Desi suggested that we go parasailing - her new favorite activity as of recently - so that's what we did and it was a lot of fun! We also went surfing, watched a performance at the theater, shared cocktails during happy hour, and explored the gardens.

Today we went to a mosaic workshop and made some cool decor. Then we went to a ceramics shop where we watched how bowls were made, which was pretty cool. After that we had a late lunch at Sash, where we had poke and butter mochi. Next door was a bookstore where we browsed for a while and then we spent a couple hours at the beach before heading to the hotel for dinner.

Since we aren't leaving until tomorrow afternoon, we had some time to kill so we spent it at the pool, lounging around. Desi says she's looking forward to seeing the camp and meeting up with Daisy Jane. It's so good seeing Desi relaxed and having a great time, especially after what she had to put up with during her time with Too Cool.

It's getting late now and I still have a little bit of packing left to do. The ocean's so pretty at this time of night, the way the light of the stars reflect on the water like sparkles. I can't wait to come back in the near future.

[movedyoakkemae]

DICK’S NATAL CHART INFORMATION.

Birthplace: Bern, Switzerland. // Date of Birth: March 21st, 1971. // Time: 6:43PM (Sunset). Sun: Aries. // Moon: Capricorn. // Ascendant: Libra. Key: True. Depends. Not True. Not overly wrong, not overly right.

The Sun

The Sun represents vitality, a sense of individuality, and outward-shining creative energy.

                                               The Sun is in Aries.

Aries is the first sign of the zodiac, and Aries natives are the first to start--and the first to finish--whatever they set out to do. Aries is an active, energetic sign. People with Sun in Aries are direct, straightforward, and uncomplicated. They expect the same from others, and are baffled when they don't always get it. The body comes first with Aries. Sun in Aries people are natural athletes. At the very least, their natural inclination is to use their bodies to get things done. They're not given to long, drawn-out emotional moments; nor are they big on planning ahead. Instead, they live their lives simply. What is happening right now is most important to Aries. Impatience is a definite vice, and innovation is a huge strength. Aries loves to start anything new, and they have trouble sitting still. They are pioneers in whatever they do, and there is a very basic quality of bravery in these people that is unmistakable! Aries generally knows what they want, and they know the quickest route to getting it. They take shortcuts if they must, but generally everything is aboveboard. Underhanded just isn't their style. Some Aries people are bold, but even the quieter ones are brave and even plucky in their own way. Independence is their birthright. Nothing gets them going more than a fresh slate, the promise of a new day, and a brand new start. Aries enjoys a challenge, and Aries Suns are happiest when their lives are moving forward and active. There's a childlike quality to all Aries Sun people, and it's often quite charming. He has a strong personality and an entrepreneurial spirit. He is ambitious and self-willed, stubborn, obstinate and tenacious. Possible issues: nervousness, impulsiveness, wastefulness, provoking nature, restlessness, and changeability.

Sun in VI: The Sun is in the sixth house The work that you do, and the services that you offer, are very important to your sense of identity. In order to feel good about yourself, you need to be busy with daily activities and to produce work you can be proud of. Focus on finding a suitable and rewarding avenue for expressing this part of you, being extra careful to choose an occupation in which you can express yourself. You are sensitive to criticism about the work you do, and you work best when you can create your own schedule. Positive feedback for the services you render is important to you, but be careful not to over-identify with the appreciation you receive from others, as your work and your health suffers when you feel under-appreciated. Motivation to do a good job should come from within. -38 Square between the Sun and Mars You possess an unmistakable competitiveness and a "me-first" attitude. The fighter persona is most apparent in youth, when the child is described as a "bundle of energy", or it is remarked that he or she "can't sit still". The abundant energy generated by this aspect is hard to direct in childhood. Later in life, ideally, those with these aspects have learned to channel some of their excess energy into productive avenues--perhaps through career, sports, or any area where competitiveness is considered an asset. Nevertheless, you can meet up with more than your share of conflict, and you can sometimes rub people the wrong way. You are very motivated to get things done, to take action rather than simply talk about something, and to get from point A to point B as quickly as possible. Those who know you quite well might describe you as hot-headed and temperamental at times. You are easily frustrated, and you're given to impulsive actions. If the aspect is found in cardinal signs, it gives impulsiveness and a short temper. If the aspect is found in fixed signs, the natives can be very hard-headed and willful. If it's in mutable signs, it gives a restless and frustrated impatience. Essentially, you have faced conflict and are not particularly afraid of it. You have faced having your need to assert yourself blocked. Your parents may have done as much as they could to "tame" what they felt to be excess energy or aggression. In other words, you know all about conflict and blockages, so that when you are faced with a challenge or a roadblock, you don't run away from it or hide under the covers feeling sorry for yourself. You meet challenges head-on. 73 Trine between the Sun and Jupiter Endowed with generosity and friendliness, in some ways you appear to be lucky in life. You attract good things with a positive frame of mind and a charitable disposition. Rarely entirely "down and out", you are usually well-received, helpful, and well-informed. You may enjoy travel and have a special affection for foreign places and people. You're generally not very competitive, and for the most part not combative either. As a result, you are usually well-liked. You are usually good-hearted, possessing strong morals and much faith in life and in people. You prefer to find the good in situations and in people. You don't have a lot of patience with those who break the rules, as you generally believe in order, equality, and the law. You usually make good on your promises, and the sincerity you exude can be trusted. Looking on the bright side is your forte--people can turn to you for a pleasing dose of faith and optimism. You are quick to chuckle and can't resist any appeal to your sense of humor. Some people with this aspect are downright jolly. Others are less conspicuous, but their faith in life and willingness to find humor in life are nevertheless obvious. 106 Trine between the Sun and Neptune There is an unmistakably dreamy, inspired, and sensitive side to you. A marked appreciation for music and the arts is present. The connection of Neptune with the Sun, which represents the ego and the will, certainly softens some of the hard edges that might be found elsewhere in the chart, adding a sensitive and spiritual dimension to your personality. You are naturally compassionate. It is so completely natural for you to accept that there is more to the world than what is before your eyes, that you tend to presume everyone must be spiritually-inclined. Of course, you come to realize that this is not the case at some early point in your life. Your attraction to spirituality and metaphysical subjects is usually marked. These aspects favor writers, artists, and musicians. You are sensitive to those who are suffering, although you are not usually taken advantage of. You are humanitarian and may have a special connection with animals. If other aspects and positions in the chart support it, you are not one to dominate others or assert yourself to the point of brashness. You have a fertile imagination, are full of inspiration, and very emotional - all qualities that you may use on the professional level. -218 Opposition between the Sun and Pluto You may be prone to inner tension and negative, self-destructive behavior. When things are going well, you suffer from fears that something will come along to change that. Constantly worrying that the rug will be pulled from under your feet can easily become a self-fulfilling prophecy. You possess tremendous power and strength--when you learn to accept and use that strength, instead of fear it, you can be one of the most effective, insightful, helpful, and healing person around! At times, you can be intensely dissatisfied with your personal accomplishments and expressions of self. You put a lot of pressure on yourself regarding your own endeavors. You can be quite dissatisfied with your creative self-expressions, and want to hide your expressions from others until you feel the output is "right". This is largely due to a perceived inability to express or reveal your true personality to others. You struggle with a deep need to control yourself and life itself. You are especially sensitive to criticism, and feel the need to "redo" yourself often. There is a marked fear of losing control, and this might stem from some traumatic event in childhood, or the childhood might have been crisis-ridden or emotionally-charged in general. As such, you can be intensely fearful of, or threatened by, change. This can express itself through attempts to control your life in such a way that you can manage your fears of being taken off guard. Of course, this generally backfires! You have an intense need for privacy at times. -21 Opposition between the Sun and Lilith There is a self-destructive side to you that should be managed by confronting your fears. You might worry about a friend betraying you, although others might find this person full of charm! -233 Opposition between the Sun and Ascendant He may face conflicts in life due to a projection of character that does not match what is on the inside. Misrepresentation of the self can be frequent. He must strive to understand how others perceive him and work on presenting a more accurate persona to the world, or he will rub people the wrong way or feel unrecognized and misunderstood. -103 Square between the Sun and Midheaven He struggles with finding a career that suits the personality. He may not face up to problems and his plans are often difficult or even impossible for him to realize.

The Moon

The Moon represents the emotional responses, unconscious pre-destination, and the self-image. The Moon represents the emotions, and the Moon sign shows how a person expresses themselves when at home, at ease, and comfortable.                                         The Moon is in Capricorn.

Being useful and productive are basic needs for Lunar Capricorns. Because they generally keep their emotions under check, Moon in Capricorn people come across as competent people. However turbulent their emotions may be under the surface, Lunar Capricorns keep cool-headed--and they come across as steady and reliable people. This position of the Moon suggests a desire for clear boundaries and realistic goals. Not much for taking risks in life, Lunar Capricorns look for safety and security in most everything they do. Most of them respect authority and tradition, and many are planning well ahead of the rest of us. You likely won't have to remind them to protect their interests, plan for old age, or keep fall-back money in their bank accounts. These things come naturally to them. Calm, cool, and collected--these words sum up Moon in Capricorn natives well. Messy emotions and "leaky" souls are a bit frightening for most with this position of the Moon. Truth is, they can have plenty of mood swings and some dark emotions now and again. Lunar Capricorns are often quite hard on themselves, and would benefit from letting their guard down once in a while. They quickly garner reputations of being mountains of strength, and they easily hide their sensitivity behind a sarcastic manner. You may have read that Moon in Capricorn natives are a bit cold and calculating. The fact is, they are unlikely to be any less emotional than the other 11 sign positions of the Moon--they simply aren't comfortable "letting go" when it comes to emotions. They keep their emotions under control. Wherever Capricorn is found in the chart, there is a desire for structure and control. Capricorn is the sign of organization and efficient management; so, when the Moon is found in the sign, the world of emotions are well-managed and handled in an efficient and practical manner. At the heart of Lunar Capricorns is a powerful need to feel worthwhile in the real world. There's a basic need for respectability and a big attachment to the world of the senses. Lunar Capricorns put a lot of value in all things tangible and real. And, perhaps more than anything, they need to be respected by others in order to feel secure. Short description: Reserved and cautious. Attracted to politics. Selective, earthy, success comes by means of other people, who recognize his qualities. Potential issues: material worries, saving far more than enjoying, restrictions. Does not get carried away by love.

Moon in IV: The Moon is in the fourth house He likes family life, peace and quiet -- he likes to stay at home, surrounded by loved ones, in agreeable circumstances. Strongly influenced by the mother. You long for a sense of true belonging, but you may be quite restless in your search. You might change residence frequently, or simply feel the need to make many changes in your home. Moving frequently may be a healthy thing if it keeps you emotionally stimulated, but if you find that you do so on whims and later regret the changes, you might want to treat it as a symptom of emotional unrest--as a sign that you are in a constant search for the perfect mood and setting, when in fact a feeling of belonging should be worked on from the inside out, not the outside in! Some of you might remain rather immature on an emotional level, never wanting to truly grow up and take care of yourself. Attachments to your past, traditions, and family are strong. 72 Trine between the Moon and Saturn He controls his feelings. He has a strong sense of duty and self-esteem. Very prudent. He can concentrate on a long-term task, manual or intellectual, with success. He perseveres and is serious in most things he does, but is humorous, satirical, steadfast, and upright. 4 Trine between the Moon and Pluto He can waver between a rich and successful domestic life and social success, perhaps having difficulty succeeding at both. Very perceptive and given to psychoanalyzing people. A strategist. Powerful emotions and intense feelings. 52 Trine between the Moon and Lilith This aspect favors romantic and sexual relationships, giving charm, intrigue, and intelligence. Emotions are big, dark, and mysterious, but he embraces these things, instinctively understanding and accepting the many sides and complications of his feelings.

Ascendant.

House I is the area of self identity. The ascendant is a symbol of how one acts in life. It is the image of the personality as seen by others, and the attitude that one has towards life.

                                           Ascendant is Libra.

Everybody seems to like Libra Ascendant natives. They just come across as nice, pleasant, and fair. Look a little closer at their lives, and these nice people may have had quite a few problems in their relationships. Some of them have had a string of relationships, and it can be hard to imagine why! These natives attract others to them effortlessly. Besides, they simply don't know what to do with themselves without a significant other. Libra rising generally appear to be smoothing everything over. They have charming smiles, a gentle approach with others, and an easygoing image. Even if they were not endowed with good looks, they are attractive. Most pay a lot of attention to their personal appearance -- the colors they wear, their hair, the way they walk. Libra rising people can be enormously persuasive, although they will almost always use a "soft sell" approach when they want to win others over, which is all of the time! A tendency to pass the buck and keep up that "nice guy/gal" image are their worst qualities. However, they can make excellent mediators and will generally be the first to accommodate you. Libra rising natives are usually attracted to competent, active partners. Their relationships are often characterized by bickering or competitiveness until they learn to drop their sweet image once in a while and to stop blaming their partners for everything that goes wrong.

Beautiful and charming. This Aries comes across as more conciliatory than they may actually be!

Mercury.

Mercury represents communication, Cartesian and logical spirit.                                                Mercury is in Aries.

He makes quick decisions, may streamline learning, can be direct and straightforward in speech, possessing an innocent charm, and can easily motivate others with his enthusiasm. Usually loves a heated dispute. Lively mind that quickly understands a given situation. He is very resourceful and capable. May prefer to jump into a decision and may not have much patience with pretense. Mercury in VII: Mercury is in the seventh house May avoid at all costs being alone. He has lots of friends, enjoying discussions and similarly cultivating plenty of work friends. He loves to write. You have a great love of debate, if only to get closer to your own thoughts and opinions. Bouncing ideas off others helps you to make a decision, although coming to definite conclusions can be painfully difficult for you. You see the other side of the coin. You might often play devil's advocate. Communication with a partner is craved, and you also love an audience for your own thoughts and opinions, but preferably a one-person audience, as you come alive verbally when it's one-on-one. You can be quite skilled at keeping a partnership animated and alive with interesting tidbits, new ideas, and stimulating conversation. You can easily become bored in partnership if the lines of communication go down, even temporarily. You might also love to talk about and analyze relationships and marriage. -159 Opposition between Mercury - Uranus He likes debate and controversy, and, above all, to contradict. He may lack diplomacy and tends to dissipate his energy. He cannot stay in the same place for too long, especially mentally, preferring change even if it means a backward step in his career.

Venus.

Venus represents an interest in emotions and values, exchange, and sharing with others.

                                            Venus is in Aquarius.

Venus in Aquarius people try to impress you with their open-minded, future-thinking spirit. They want you to see them as unique, rebellious, and a little provocative. They are attractive when they are acting a little aloof. They want you to acknowledge and appreciate that they don't follow the beaten track in matters of the heart. Venus in Aquarius people are attracted to unusual or unconventional relationships. They don't want to follow all the rules, although they may make quite a few of their own. They can appear quite standoffish at times, and are threatened by restrictions of any kind. Emotional types may be put off by their detached manner in love. Venus in Aquarius wants you to love them for their intellect, and to admire their visions. They value lovers who are also good friends, and they avoid emotional displays or confrontations like the plague. Venus in Aquarius will delight in shocking you with their unusual ways and their forward-looking thinking. Pleasing Venus in Aquarius involves letting them know just how interesting they are. Put up with their occasional need to act superior on an intellectual level -- they are very proud of their unique ideas and visions. Dream along with them, and don't fence them in. They need space and will happily return the favor, giving you lots of room to breathe and to be yourself. Venus in V: Venus is in the fifth house He wants to succeed more than almost anything in the love life. He meets pleasant people and has very good friends, usually without too much conflict. He especially likes amusements, parties. He may have many children or love affairs. Interest in love and/or sex for you likely started young. Playful, sensual, and amorous, you are in love with love! You thrive on romantic attention, and it is easy and natural for you to always have a crush or romantic interest. There is a romantic, playful side to you that is unmistakable. It keeps you young at heart! You are sensuous and enjoy indulging in the pleasurable senses to the fullest possible extent. You enjoy surrounding yourself with beautiful art and music, and these may play a role in your ideal date scenario. There is a touch of the dramatic in you when it comes to love and sex. You are generally quite loyal to your partner, and you are both charming and easily charmed. It's also easy to turn your head. You are a warm, fun and playful date. -82 Square between Venus - Saturn He is hard or reserved at times, and doesn't always know how to express his emotions. He may be frightened of showing his love, and this can lead to disappointments, break-ups, lack of satisfaction. He has doubts, can be suspicious, worries too much, possibly jealous but more likely insecure. He will learn how to be happy in love, to be at ease with himself and to control his jealousy or gain more assurance and sense of self-worth in the second half of his life, possibly thanks to a mature person, who helps him learn to trust. 180 Conjunction between Venus and the North Node This aspect indicates diplomacy and attractiveness. There is a certain luck in meeting others at the right times. There is skill in harmonizing and much desire to cooperate rather than compete.

Mars.

Mars represents the desire for action and physical energy.                                          Mars is in Capricorn.

With fiery Mars in the more orderly sign of Capricorn, natives with this position have a subdued and controlled style of approaching life. Most don't come across as particularly enthusiastic; rather, theirs is a low-key but determined energy. Mars in Capricorn natives like to be on top of things. They are generally goal-oriented and focused people who are not afraid of hard work. Most are achievers by nature, and many possess well-defined ambitions--well-defined to themselves more than anything. They're not particularly flashy people, but their drive to succeed and to make their lives secure is strong, even if it's not right out there for the world to see. Anger is expressed in a rather cool, level-headed way with this position of Mars. Self-control is strong when it comes to expressing anger, drive, energy, and sexuality. Capricorn is a sign that detests waste of any kind. It also fears disorderliness and "letting go". With Mars in Capricorn, there is generally a powerful need to stay in control. This is not to say that natives of this position are cold in any sense of the word. Their desires are strong, but they are often centered around the physical and material world--all that can be seen and held. With Mars in an Earth sign, sensuality is expressed in an earthy way. However, unlike Mars in Taurus, for example, (another earth sign), Mars in Capricorn is not self-indulgent by nature. These people are usually quite disciplined. Capricorn possesses the ability to plan for the future--something that many other signs have difficulty doing. Mars in Capricorn natives are working toward realistic and attainable goals. They are productive people who get off when they see tangible results from their efforts. Many natives with this position are a little hard on themselves, and sometimes others. They usually can be relied upon because they have an innate sense of responsibility to both themselves and to those they care about. Most of them are very hard-working, and one of their strategies for anger management is to throw themselves even more energetically into their work! Mars in IV: Mars is in the fourth house Quick decisions; he may have a lot of things on his plate and wants to succeed. He will succeed through a phenomenal work-rate. Stormy or simply active family life, where his leadership or aggressiveness shows itself. You can be fiercely protective of your close friends and family with Mars in your solar fourth house. Anger may be deeply felt and possibly deeply buried, too! As a result, it can be difficult for others to pinpoint your true motives, and you can be considered a real enigma. You can be passive-aggressive in your approach to the outside world when younger, which could lead to resentments if you are not careful--or confident--enough to take a more direct approach to pursuing your desires and expressing your anger. With time and experience, as well as substantial work towards achieving a healthy balance between emotional self-control and expression, you're likely to deal with frustrations in a more empowering way. -23 Square between Mars - Ascendant He is quarrelsome and critical at times when a softer approach would be more successful. In this way, he may self-sabotage. His success can sometimes come about through roundabout means. -88 Opposition between Mars - Midheaven He might suffer professional setbacks through actions that are too impulsive, imprudent, or lacking in forethought.

Jupiter.

Jupiter represents expansion and grace.                                        Jupiter is in Sagittarius.

He attracts the most good fortune when he is open-handed and generous, tolerant, and practices what he preaches. Can be inspirational, usually finding success in travel, education, teaching, sports, publishing, and foreign cultures. Very philosophical, forward-looking, and enthusiastic. Strong morals. He strongly values freedom of movement and expression. Jupiter in III: Jupiter is in the third house He is has good judgement, a sense of values, an open and optimistic mind, a good education and high moral standards. He likes studying. He is successful in communications work. his professional work is a vocation and plays a great part in his life. 275 Conjunction between Jupiter - Neptune He is very generous and altruistic, helping people in difficulty. He knows how to listen or, at least, how to give that impression to make others feel heard. He is a dreamer with imagination to spare, fully enjoying the Arts.

Saturn.

Saturn represents contraction and effort.                                             Saturn is in Taurus.

He doesn't like to see greed or waste in others. Must not shun materialism and possessiveness completely, and learn to build up a sense of being "deserving" of some pleasures in life. Saturn in VIII: Saturn is in the eighth house This position sometimes points to not being financially very well off, average salary. The spouse may not be rich. Possibility of a small inheritance, which helps a lot. Long life and natural death, if the aspects allow. 25 Trine between Saturn - Lilith He can be hard-working and practical.

Uranus.

Uranus represents individual liberty, egoistic liberty.                                                Uranus in Libra.

Well-developed artistic leanings; his balance can be upset by too great an independence. Questions traditional approaches to relating and wants to do things differently. Uranus in I: Uranus is in the first house He is above all independent and original. Sometimes blunt and irritable. Never allows himself be influenced. He does not tolerate any sort of setback. He is ready for adventure, even if it's a bit risky. Uranus in the first house alters the way an individual projects personal energies onto others. You are likely to seek, nay demand, freedom in the way you present yourself to the world. Dressing simply but quirkily, you will have no problems in asserting yourself. You are not shy in letting everyone know where you stand on issues. In fact you take pride in presenting your unique perspective. "I am a simple soul with few wants and needs," is what you tell yourself. All you can feel is an altruistic desire to change the world! Friends and relatives probably find you a trifle erratic. They know you to be good-hearted and genuine about your feelings. Your passions rise fast and you lose interest at the same rate.

Neptune.

Neptune represents transcendental liberty, non-egoistic liberty.                                           Neptune is in Sagittarius.

May especially enjoy long voyages, things foreign, being close to water. Altruistic, broad spiritual vision, humane, spiritual. Neptune in III: Neptune is in the third house He has a lot of imagination, high ideals. He is nostalgic. Dry, cold facts are hard for him to absorb, so traditional academics might not appeal. 4 Sextile between Neptune - Pluto He is perceptive and able to see layers to a situation. He is naturally drawn to learning what makes himself and others tick. 27 Sextile between Neptune - Ascendant He can have unusual relationships. He is easily influenced, very sensitive and emotional.

Pluto.

Pluto represents transformations, mutations, and elimination.                                                 Pluto is in Virgo.

Research and investigation come naturally. May worry about health. 15 Conjunction between Pluto - Lilith He may lead a double life. He may have a secret love affair while having a good relationship with his partner. Most with this aspect, however, are highly perceptive and can keep a secret. Alternative views of relationships are likely. 28 Conjunction between Pluto - Ascendant He has willpower and ambition, and almost always prefer to have his own way. -4 Square ​between Pluto - Midheaven He may have issues with his power. He may risk losing everything, having to start from scratch in order to duke it out with authority figures. He may end up in meaningless stalemates with bosses and authority figures, which can block him from achieving success or goals at times.

Lilith.

Black Moon Lilith represents our darker, deeper natures that may be repressed or buried.                                                   Lilith in Virgo.

He may have felt uncomfortable or wrong for paying special attention to the practical side of life, attention to details, organization, and routines. He may go to pains to prove he is NOT ordinary, worried, eager to please, or concerned about details enough to perfect a craft or project. Leaving many projects unfinished can be a sign of perfectionist expectations since this way, he does not have to deal with the prospect of not producing something perfect. The key to eliminating extreme behaviors is to work on self-acceptance.

North Node-South Node.

The South Node represents our overdeveloped character traits. We are talented here but if we overdo this area of life or hold onto these traits to feel secure, we may stagnate. The North Node points to the qualities that we need to work on and develop to achieve inner balance and fulfillment.                                       True North Node in Aquarius.

His path is to learn to be more impartial and less possessive in relationships and with creative projects. As he learns to let go of the need for a passionate chase, satisfaction will come to him naturally as he sees that he nevertheless gets what he needs. Relationships may suffer if he takes things too personally and expects others to follow a script that he has unconsciously written for them. He learns to moderate his desire for drama and attention, and then develops true friendships. Qualities to develop: detachment, impartiality, humility. North Node in V: North Node in the Fifth House His path is to believe in himself enough to feel comfortable expressing his unique creativity, to be the center of attention, committing himself to a definite path rather than shooting in the dark. Although he feels less pressured and more comfortable in a group or informal setting, moving out of this comfort zone once in a while can enhance his social and romantic life tremendously. Qualities to develop: self-confidence, getting personal, willingness to stand out or call attention to himself.

The Houses.

House II - the second house - is the area of material security and values. It rules money and personal finances, sense of self-worth and basic values, personal possessions. Libra on House II. Income may come either as a result of an advantageous marriage or union, through artistic expression and diplomatic means, or by a very useful association. Partnerships can help further financial goals. Venus by sign and house can show other areas for making money. House III - the third house - is the area of social and intellectual learning. Scorpio on House III. Can make a good investigator because he is very curious, loves researching and does it with a lot of patience, enjoying solving mysteries, cracking a code. He knows how to take risks, while being wary of the dangers or consequences. House IV - the fourth house - is the area of home, family, roots, and deep emotions/sense of self-worth. Capricorn on House IV. After working all his life to obtain his objectives and finally having reached that goal, he wants to retire in peace and quiet and to enjoy a retirement full of contemplation, with few tasks, close to nature. As he was very careful with money all his life, he is happy to administer the properties he has acquired. House V - the fifth house - is the area of creative self-expression, romance, entertainment, children, and gambling. Aquarius on House V. He doesn't like routine and the banal. He is romantic, full of fantasy and imagination. He is also a friend one can count on. House VI - the sixth house - is the area of learning by material transaction. Pisces on House VI. Job in commerce. Weak point: the kidneys, feet. House VII - the seventh house - is the area of one-to-one relationships such as marriage and partnership, and of social and intellectual action. Aries on House VII. Love-at-first-sight; may partner without thinking. He doesn't want to change his habits, perhaps leading to many arguments that are quick to start but also quick to resolve. He may not have much patience for the "clinging vine" kind of partner, preferring much activity and someone who can take charge. An active partnership. House VIII - the eighth house - is the area of emotional security and of security of the soul. Aries on House VIII. The spouse will tend to spend more money than he earns. Be careful of any haste that could prove dangerous. House IX - the ninth house - is the area of learning that shapes the identity. Taurus on House IX. He may travel little, no great attraction for abroad. Unlikely to change principles, practically never changing the mind or beliefs. House X - the tenth house - is the area of material action. The Midheaven represents the work one will do in one's life, the place one will take in the world of society. It becomes more important as one grows older. Cancer on House X. He likes contact with the public, the crowd. Profession that involves meeting a lot of people. Professional success thanks to sense of duty and application to his work. House XI - the eleventh house - is the area of search for social and intellectual security. Leo on House XI. Friends are not always chosen by chance. Even if the feelings of friendship are sincere, friends often bring something - professional help for example. House XII - the twelfth house - is the area of education and of emotion. This is where we meet our karma, deal with endings, and sometimes where we bury things. Virgo on House XII. Work in a research lab.

[andsotheuniverseended]

cephas my beloved

so i don't know if what you meant here was "answer all thirty of the dnd meme questions for cephas" but that is how i'm interpreting it so i'mma go ahead and put it under a cut

(also for those not in the know, Cephas (they/she/him/any pronoun you like) is my stone construct witch. yes those are both homebrew things I found online. i use this witch and just recently updated them to the 3.0 version and i'm very excited about it)

1. if one of their friends was jumping on a bed and asked your character to join them, would they?

Yes, absolutely, of course. The bed would then immediately break because Cephas is a couple tons of solid rock, but that's on their friends for not thinking it through. Or maybe that was the plan. Either way, Cephas is on board.

2. would your character carry around a tiny bath and body works hand sanitizer? if yes, would it have a specific scent?

I mean, Ceph does carry around smelling salts enchanted to smell like whatever would make someone feel better in the moment? Which is kind of the same thing? But anyways the real answer is Probably Not unless it was a gift, because Cephas has no sense of smell and has no need to sanitize.

3. does your character paint their nails? do they wait for them to dry fully afterwards?

Technically he doesn't have nails but Cephas will happily allow themselves to be painted over any part of their body, and will stay completely still until it's dry. I know because the party his done this to them before.

4. if you cut open your character’s heart and there was something inside, what would it be? why?

Hm. I mean. Literally speaking, no heart, you just find stone in there. Figuratively speaking... a jade earring. representative of their first steps towards freedom.

5. do/would your character carry lots of hair ties on their wrist?

Nah, not unless one of the other party members asked.

6. what parts of your character’s voice/manner of speaking are distinct, if any?

Hm. Mostly just that their voice is pretty rough and low. Otherwise I think they talk pretty normal??

7. what’s the first thing your character’s eyes are drawn to on a map?

New places. To all the parts of the world they haven't seen yet, and want to.

8. how did your character feel when they left home for the first time?

Okay I'm going to go with the definition of home that means Cephas has to feel like it's home, which would mean the place where they lived with their BFF Effie. And I think the first time they left there, with an intent to go out and adventure, they felt really excited, happy, and like they were finally doing what they were meant to be doing. They'd been feeling very restless up until that point, so it's kind of like scratching an itch. Very satisfying.

9. where does your character look when they’re the only one walking down a road?

All around. She likes to see everything and doesn't get particularly worried about other people or robbers or things like that, so there's a lot of being generally distracted by whatever scenery they're passing through. Sometimes he'll just stop and pretend to be a statue on the side of the road and people watch for a while, if there's time for it.

10. does your character have tattoos? were they alone the first time they got one?

Being made of stone, my darling Cephas can't get tattoos. If they had actual flesh I do think they'd wanna get some.

11. if a button came loose from your character’s shirt, would they make sure the replacement matched?

Cephas doesn't wear clothes, and if they did 'matching' would not be the thing they cared about, so for sure No.

12. how loudly do they cry?

Gods I feel like a lot of these answers are just "Cephas is a stone construct and therefore cannot/does not do the thing" but like Cephas is a stone construct and cannot cry. There have been a lot of times where they wished they could, but their body wasn't built for it. Typically if they're sad, they're quiet about it, reserved.

13. does your character like holding hands? do they do it often?

Yes! But he doesn't do it very often at all. Stone isn't comfortable for other people to hold, and they have to be careful not to hurt people when touching them, so it's generally more dangerous for whoever they're holding hands with than its worth.

14. is your character more likely to wear a necktie, a bowtie, or a bolo tie? (if any at all)

Again, no clothes. But I think Cephas would enjoy a good bolo tie.

15. have you ever said something as your character that stuck with you for a while after? what was it?

Oh lord. Uhhh... hm, well there was this one thing but it is very dependent on the context of the moment. Which is that they were talking with another character who was frustrated about not knowing things, and talking about how in order to be people you have to ask questions even if you don't get answers, you have to keep asking questions. And then they discovered something that was a step in a mystery they'd been trying to deal with and Cephas said "and sometimes you do get answers" and I don't know why but that one did stick with me.

16. what does getting flustered look like for your character?

Stuttering. Awkward hand movements. Maybe reverting to the old "I am but a simple construct with no consciousness" trick if they're really feeling out of sorts.

17. does your character have to glance at their hands to remember left and right?

Ha, no. Cephas knows what they're doing, unlike me.

18. does your character have stuffed animals? would they if they could? what kind?

Hm, no, xe doesn't. But I think they would if they ever settled down and stopped traveling. Even if Cephas can't really feel the softness, they would like it. And they'd be very careful with them too. As for the kind... I'm thinking those, like, huge round ones? Fuck there was a name for them. Squishables?? I think???

19. does your character walk or run down stairs?

Walk, typically. Running could damage things lol

20. if your character saw a turtle stuck on its back, would they flip it over?

Oh yes 100%. And also try and talk to the turtle and see if it needed any further assistance.

21. has your character ever climbed out of a window? would they do it again?

I don't have a moment in mind specifically, but there's no way Cephas hasn't, and they would absolutely do it again.

22. what’s your character’s ideal way to wake up? what usually wakes them up?

Cephas doesn't so much sleep as... go into Obedient Construct mode for four hours, which is to say they will obey any order given to them. Ideal way to wake up from that is in some weird/compromising position because it means his friends were messing with them and they love that. And they can't be woken up unnaturally, so its just that after Four Hours something in their head goes Ding and they're back.

23. what’s the pettiest thing your character’s ever done?

Dyed a nobleman's hair bright pink because he was kind of rude to them when they were pretending to be a normal construct.

24. what made your character the angriest they’ve ever been?

Cephas... doesn't really do anger, generally. But! There was a man who pretended to be a prophet of a god, and collected a small group of true believers. And then he took over a town, and made the townsfolk slaves. And that really got to Cephas, in a very personal way. (They did take care of the man and they still have mixed feelings about doing it.)

25. how does you character smile?

With great effort. Cephas wasn't built to emote, so any facial expressions are subtle and take a lot of concentration and effort to make happen. Over time they've gotten more practiced at this and can do it almost without thought, but it's still the smallest movements for a great amount of toil.

26. does your know the names of their constellations? how did they learn them?

I think, some of them? Cephas lived with her best friend's family for a long time and I think they would've learned some of them there. But then they also definitely made a game out of making up constellations and naming them whatever they wanted, so it's a toss up whether what they know is a real constellation or one they made up and then forgot they made up.

27. do/would your character draw or write on themself?

Oh yeah, for sure.

28. would your character race someone to the top of a tall tree for bragging rights?

Not for bragging rights, but absolutely yes Cephas would race someone. And they would lose because they are big and heavy and not made for climbing, but its more about the fun of it than the winning or the losing for them.

29. is there an artist whose style you associate with your character? (visual or otherwise; poets and musicians, etc. count)

Hmm... not really?? I don't really associate artists with my characters. My friend drew Cephas once, so I think that's the closest I'm gonna get to that. Maybe Delta Rae? I feel like Delta Rae has got those witchy vibes, and that makes me think Cephas.

30. how has your character’s first impressions of their party members changed since they met them? have they stayed the same?

Oh this is delightful because when Ceph first met the party, they were pretending to be a normal construct, so the DM was 'playing' them. Which meant I got to sit there and watch, and so I wrote down what Cephas was thinking. They only met the first three members of the party that day, but I literally have it written down that it was three "good first impressions" because one of them stole a book, another one turned invisible to draw a face on a trash can, and the third called Cephas 'interesting'. Overall impression? A group of messes who just went through something tough and are not dealing with it super well.

Current impression? A surprisingly competent group of messes who are working through some stuff, and very much don't like talking about their feelings. Also, I'm invested.

Seriously though it started out as Cephas thinking they seemed fun and wanting a distraction, and now Cephas is like actually really invested in all of them and their growth and wants to help them as much as they can.

[fallin-flcwer]

PHOENIX LIN TRUTH BOOTH

GENERAL QUESTIONS

1. Please state your full name: I go by three names, but they’re all more or less the same, just translated differently. The name I was born with is Lin Feng Huang, which translates to Lam Fung Wong in Cantonese, then my English name is Phoenix Lin. 2. Does your name(s) have any kind of meaning? If so, what is it? Feng Huang means Phoenix in English, hence why it’s my English name  3. Do you have any nicknames? Nix, Duck Lin, Kung Pho Panda (thanks Addison), Shitlin (thanks Luca). No one really calls me it, but I also like being called Nixie. 4. Where were you born? And in which country? I was born in Violet Springs 5. What is your date of birth? 24th of October, 2000 6. Of course, the following question; what is your Zodiac sign? Scorpio 7. Do you believe in Zodiac signs? Yes. 8. Where do you live? Lilac Wells 9. What is your home situation like? (ex. do you live with your family? Your partner etc.?) I live with my mum and Duyi 10. Do you have any siblings? I have an older half-brother. We've never spoken to each other, and I don’t plan on doing so. 11. Do you have any kind of allergies? I have a small allergy to cinnamon 12. Do you own any pets? If so, what kind of pets are they? I’ve got a chihuahua called Chia and a Siamese cat called Cat. 13. Why did you apply to St Jude’s? Not gonna lie, the part of it was because my friends planned to go there, but there were also some teachers there that I admire, and still do. 14. Did you had to go through a lot audition rounds? Nope. 15. What is the current course you’re following? Netball and Swimming. I did do gymnastics and modelling but I dropped them earlier this year. 16. If you can switch courses, which one would you switch to and why? I would do modelling if I wasn’t so focused on sports. 17. What is your proudest project you’ve done? I think for sports, it’s pretty much... you know.. sport. But playing The Female for Felix’s show, The Boys, is something I never thought I'd be able to do, but I’ve found it so fun. 18. What is the proudest project that someone’s else has done? Cindy getting into a national soccer team. It cost me seeing her religiously but that’s okay. 19. Do you like FanCons? Yes. Being a sports person, you don’t get many stans the way musicians and actors here do, but it’s still fun. 20. What do you like about FanCons? Meeting the fans I do have. 21. What don’t you like about FanCons? It really does tire me out from time to time. Not all of them, but there have been some. 22. A fan memory that always stuck with you? Can be positive or negative. A little girl came to me and talked to me about how happy she was to see an Asian sportswoman. 23. Your favorite event so far? The halloween party in my first year LMAO. 24. What kind of event would you like to see in the future? Anything that has to do with travelling. 25. Would you recommend St Jude’s to friends, family. etc? If they’re pursuing a career in the Arts, yes

PERSONALITY QUESTIONS

26. What are your positive traits? Level-headed, realistic and supportive 27. What are you negative traits? I can be a bit bossy and stubborn 28. What would other people describe you as? Carefree 29. What are your pet peeves? Loud chewers 30. What makes you happy? This has to be the most un-Phoenix-like answer but watching pottery videos. My mum used to take me to her pottery lessons growing up, but I never did it myself. 31. What makes you upset? Seeing people I care about upset 32. What is something you love? Food, my mum and my friends 33. What is something you dislike? My  34. What are you strengths? Saving money (thanks mum), biology, and sport 35. What are you weaknesses? I definitely struggle with empathising with people I can’t relate to, but it’s something I want to learn to do 36. A misconception people often think of you? That I’m a very idgaf person. I like to come off that way bc it’s just easier for me, but I’m definitely a bit more sensitive than I like to let off. 37. Do you have any fears? I’m scared of frogs, but you would be too if your little cousin chased you around with one 38. What scares you the most? Losing my mum, honestly. I’d go insane at this point if it wasn’t for her. 39. What do you do to entertain yourself? Watch vine compilations on youtube. 40. What is your MBTI? ESTJ. 41. How do you deal with stress? Shut it out completely. 42. Are you a determined person? Are you a stubborn person? I’m definitely both. 43. Do you consider yourself selfish? Yes. 44. Would you like to be different? In some ways, yes. 45. Are you more introverted (focused on your inner world) or more extraverted (focused on other people and the outer world)? Honestly, I think I’m both but I lean more towards extroverted.

ROMANCE QUESTIONS

46. What is your sexual orientation? I’m bisexual. 47. Current relationship status? Single, but I may or may not be emotionally invested in Gabriel. 48. When was your first kiss? I was around 15. 49. Do you remember your first date? If so, with who was it? What did you do? It was with one of my human biology classmates. She took me out to the movies and went out for bubble tea afterwards. 50. Have you ever experienced heart-break? No. 51. Have you ever been in love? (If yes, skip to question 53) No. 52. If no, how so? I just don’t think I’ve ever felt how I’m supposed to when I’m ‘in love’ 53. How do you know when you’re in love? I wouldn’t know. Sorry. 54. What would be your ideal date? Just something indoors. We can have takeout, watch a movie, whatever. I’m not picky. 55. What is your perspective on marriage? I think marriage is a little bit overhyped. Obviously, marriage is good when it’s done right, but really it’s pretty much a relationship topped off with a ring and a fancy ceremony. Just because someone said their vows and “I do” doesn’t mean that they’re not going to cheat if they want to, in my eyes. 56. (only for non-virgins) Are you a sub, dom or switch? I don’t really believe in dom/sub roles. Like just get on with it. However, I will admit that I like being on top. 57. What do you think of relationships? As of right now, I don’t think I’m ready to be in a committed relationship, but then again I don’t believe in actively looking for a relationship. I think things will unfold over time and I’ve just gotta let it be.  58. What do you think of one-night stands? I don’t have an issue with them. 59. Are you still a virgin? No. 60. Most attractive trait in a different person? Their confidence, and as how well they treat people. 61. What matters most to you when it comes to a relationship? Honesty and trust. 62. Are you comfortable with PDA? Or would you be comfortable with PDA? Yes, but only in very small doses. 63. Are you more of a type to be asked out or the type to ask the other out? It depends on the person. 64. How do you express love to the other? I will cook for you, or at least try to.  65. Who is your celebrity crush? Jeon Wonwoo.

GETTING DEEP QUESTIONS

66. Do you regret anything? Yes 67. Is there something you would like to re-do? So, start all over again? My entire first year here 68. What is something you would never share with anyone? Pass, because that would mean that I shared it 69. When was the last time you cried? Why did you cry? Maybe like last week. I think I’m more sensitive than I like to let off 70. Most memorable event that happened in your time in St Judes? This could be anything: Halloween in my first year, when Cindy brought me an inflatable panda suit and rolled me around in it. 71. One thing you wish you could do all over? My first year 72. Someone you miss? My Grandmother 73. Something you wish you could forget? Anything involving my dad 74. Who has the biggest impact on you? My mum 75. What is your perspective on love? Is it beautiful? Does it scare you? There have been some things that have happened in my life that has changed my perspective on love dramatically.  76. What has hurt you in the past that you don’t want others to go through? Pass 77. What is something you have gained, something you have lost and something you let go of during the past year? I’ve gained some more initiative. I’ve lost some confidence but at the same time I’ve definitely let go of some self hatred I’ve been holding onto. I doesn’t seem like it makes sense but it does to me 78. Have you ever lost a friend? do you wish you would still be friends? My sports squad :( minus Luca obviously.  79. Do you have any triggers? What is the history behind these triggers and are they related to any disorders or mental illnesses? None that I’m willing to talk about  80. If you could meet your 16 year old self, what would tell them? As much as you want to be with your friends. Maybe St. Judes isn’t the best choice. And if you are as stubborn as I remember you to be, if you do go, please be more careful this time.

RANDOM QUESTION ROUND

81. Summer or Winter? Winter 82. Cats or dogs? Cats 83. Beach or mountains? Mountains 84. Phone calls or texting? Texting 85. Have you ever skipped class? Yes

[winebleeds]

@bnjmin​   sent    ❛              b, d, p, q (for reasons), u for all                ❜

⤑   VALETINE’S HEADCANONS

B   :   BOUQUET.   does your muse like flowers? which ones are their favourite?

raleigh: he likes flowers in the sense of being around during hikes. so, if there’s a purple flower by a rock, he’ll comment that’s a pretty purple, internally or externally. but he isn’t someone to go out of his way to pick flowers out at a store (even, again, he may find a bouquet pretty when walking by) and he doesn’t really know the names of flowers compared to his preference of trees. he loves trees. but i’ll save that for another day. but, if he has to name a flower...

liz: yeah... she likes roses, mainly red or white roses. though, while roses are her favorite, she may buy something that looks nice / fits the current theme for her interior design. however, she’s not the best with maintaining plants, so they don’t last long. but she’s the most likely to buy a bouquet of flowers as a gift, either for a close friend she knows like flowers or a romantic partner. she’ll also make sure to know what flowers said people would like to best, which includes succulents. 

jamie: im not quite sure about his own preferences to flowers, mainly because it’s not something he thinks about. however, like liz, he’ll buy flowers for someone he cares about. first to come to mind was his college ex, where he would always get flowers after on of her dance recitals. 

maddie: she loves loves loves flowers! her favorite are sunflowers, but daisies, carnations, & chrysanthemums are on the top of her list. heck, she even has a tattoo (bonus link about all her tatts & the brothers; the main one here is #7 for maddie, though i do have to update this)  she’s also someone who looks closely at floral meaning, though she often just uses her own meanings based on how she views the design / color & the other person. for example, she regrets how yellow carnations mean rejection since yellow is maddie’s color, but will combined yellow & red roses as both representation of liz & herself and the happiness having her sister around brings her. she may even wear floral patterns, definitely more than liz, and use floral designs in her artwork. and, yeah, more like to work at a flower shop in those tropey flower shop au’s.

D   :   DATE.   what is your muse’s ideal date? where / who with / etc?

general: im answering this as the ideal first date, or early dates. while i think some of the settings to personalities shown in these answer may show the type of people that can fit these, im not going to say ‘who with’ since there’s a lot of flexibility on dating & “P” sorta answers that.

raleigh: somewhere that isn’t too crowded but isn’t too private either. so, don’t expect anywhere like a club or a home. he’ll like hiking the best, especially with his dogs & other pets around. while trails can be private, there’s also people that can come by & it’s not a crowded space. cafes at slow hours are also fine too. and outdoor settings, so like eating outside or dogs parks or just outside. he’s an outdoor person at heart, and spending hours in the hospital or off days where he can hardly get out the bed makes him appreciate any time he can get outside more, so he’ll prefer those as early dates, even if it’s as simple as reading on a park bench hearing the water. oh! and museums! he loves all kinds of museum & aquariums, maybe zoos. 

liz: she doesn’t date. don’t say that you’re dating. who cares if she spends more time with you, mainly doing things you like or asks you to meet her at her special chocolate shop so she can see what types of chocolates you like while you seeing all the dark chocolate she selects. or cooks for you or she even helps you with things you’ve been struggling with, even as she struggles herself at certain things.  you both go to the bar together without either of you hooking up with anyone else despite that being “the purpose.” hell, who cares if the two of you made out while stargazing on the top of a skyscraper or travelled to an open field or even woke up to the smell of breakfast the morning after. who cares if everyone calls you a couple or you fell yourself falling for her & the private moments you know she doesn’t share with anyone else but you: she 👏 doesn’t 👏 date. 👏

jamie: a sporting event may be something fun. and especially couple workouts. but also horseback riding together or being around animals. there’s also him cooking for his date, though he can tolerate going out to restaurants. but, overall, there needs to be some sort of active activity alongside the date just because he has a hard time staying still. 

maddie: concerts from other artists or her & the date playing music together. but she likes museums or aquariums too, though she leans towards art museums or photo galleries. then there’s even more exciting events like paintball or roller skating. i think she’s inbetween jamie & raleigh in the sense that she needs to be active but can be tranquil when the moment is right, and that she prefers more public locations but can be in big crowds. 

P   :   PARTNER.   what does your muse look for in a partner? looks / personality?

raleigh: uh, someone that’s strong & independent. someone that can take a leadership role but isn’t too demanding. while feeling he needs guidance sometimes, he likes his independence too. and definitely someone who doesn’t mind being around his dogs or mind husky hair on them, of course.  

liz: these are not things she necessary look for, but things i’ve realize occurs with romantic ships... someone she feels needs some sort of guidance in their life or someone that accepts liz trying to take care of everything. so someone submissive (mainly in bed) yet being able to remind liz to not overwork herself. because a lot of her partners give her advice or suggestions that can change her mindset or try to work to what the partner wants, even if she pretends to remain distant about it. she’s VERY internal & isn’t going to communicate her own wants, because she does get to the point where partner > her. and im about to go off topic since this isn’t about what she looks for in her partner uh... she likes tattoos & leans towards artistic people or people in subjects that can tell her things she doesn’t know much about (and she likes all sorts of knowledge). occasionally she’ll realize a fwb is getting to close, and sometimes that ends up as something more but usually her attachment issues kicks in & she leaves. :/

jamie: uh i guess someone who’s physically fit? or at least can keep up with him. as in, the other person doesn’t need abs but can learn to throw a football or walk a couple miles with ease. it’s more due to this being the types of people he hangs around with due to his job. he’s also drawn to sophistication, if that makes sense. like, his college ex was a ballet dancer. but it’s also like, someone he feels some sort of awe too, which could be being sophisticated in lets say physics or have a smile he feels is worth a million bucks. 

maddie: usually she ends up with another fellow musician or artist because it’s the folks she hangs around with & finds comfort in having that same interest. and she CAN loose interest pretty quickly in terms of dating, but can remain as friends. 

Q   :   QUESTION.   would your muse ask the big question or expect their partner to?

raleigh: he’ll ask first, but would be fine if the other partner asks. especially if they feel impatient with him trying to gain courage to ask. tho like someone else i could see him asking when drunk and not remembering in the morning & be like ‘... oops.’

liz: next.

jamie: he’ll ask. all the way. he’ll feel the most weird if someone asked him.

maddie: the partner to ask.

U   :   UNREQUITED.   has your muse had their heart broken?

raleigh: yep. half the time he breaks it himself because he puts high expectations on either himself or how things with someone will go.

liz: no. because she doesn’t have one. actually her parents have broken her heart as in her struggles with any sort of attachment, romantic platonic or whatever, due to her mother leaving and then her father’s later dependence on liz / his constant reminders of never get close to people have really damaged her but we won’t go there. 

jamie: yes. mainly with irene leaving him, though that was all his fault. there’s also the married woman and how she manipulated jamie’s heart where he has a hard time trusting others but we won’t go there.

maddie: yeah. though she’s fickle in relationships, but it hurts anytime a guy breaks up with her or she has to break up. and it’s happen enough where she became reserved about letting others know about dates because telling others ‘yeah we broke up’ hurts her a lot. :/

[cirocchio]

AU details 01. royalty etc.

( still pointing at tsun as the instigator for this post )

‘royalty AU’ is too vague for me though so this is going to be a more all-encompassing general description of possible ideas for ‘AUs that all can take place in a political/ court setting’. No fancy introductory story-like excerpt.

Some things to note:

Firstly; because I like to keep Ciri’s Roma heritage I’m more inclined to make her a bastard child that may or may not be legitimised by her father. Usually not. Her uncle, as always, dotes on her. He’s also the more popular of the duo, the heir of the throne, etc. Another idea is that she accompanies Remo/Silvan to court as a child, as Remo would want to lobby for more rights for Rroma/ commoners in general. She can be as high or low-ranking as is deemed suitable for the plot.

Secondly: Ciri will never be a happy ruler. The responsibility of such a position weighs her down and restrains her and has never been something she wants to live with; Ciri both fears and hates power so her having that will make her incredibly uncomfortable. She doesn’t have the talent for scheming and intrigues nor does she command enough respect for her advisers to listen to her: she’d be a puppet at best, a scapegoat or victim of an assassination plot at worst. Ideally ( and even realistically ); she never gets stuck in the position of ruler/heir to the throne in the first place, but if she somehow did, she would work on a way to abdicate or even get banished without too much commotion or sending the country in chaos.

Ciri’s reputation ( aka the one thing I can talk about with almost utmost certainty ): Regardless of her position (low-ranking noble or royal blood), she’d be a bit of an oddball at court. She’s sensible and pragmatic and has plenty of interest in languages, culture, and music, promising traits. Yet when it comes to other matters she is bored, unmotivated, and dreamily stares out of the window during important lessons and meetings. She has no tact and will tell nobles, teachers, and missionaries alike when she does not like them, something they say or do, or disagrees with them without any regard for whether it’s appropriate or not. Being a bad liar Ciri quickly gives up on trying to play with and figure out the different masks people put on and stubbornly stays true to herself, demonstrating her distaste for the two-faced behaviour at court. She spends more time reading books and playing with her birds in the gardens than she does attending festivities, banquets, or councils ( and if she does attend either of those it’s to listen to or talk with the bards and poets and whatnot ). She has proven herself a terrible fighter and tactician at an early age, and actively avoids war generals or soldiers – making her dislike for them obvious. On the other hand, she is known to slip in the kitchens ( is surprisingly resourceful when it comes to this, even though she later confesses her mischief ) at night and speak informally to the servants.

While teachers find her temperament easy to manage, her select interests are frustrating. When she’s not motivated she will not put effort in her tasks, unless perhaps Remo convinces her to, but he’s known to be lenient with her. She openly talks about her fantasy of meeting magickal bards who will steal her away for marriage ( or just adventure ). Rumours circulate that she talks to her birds and kisses them in the hopes of turning them into fairies. In many ways she is a child, yet sometimes she seems wise beyond her years. 

She’s passionate about introducing literacy for the common folk, and purposely lets her maids listen in on her classes or gives them ‘homework’ to practice writing, but other than that does not have an active interest in the welfare of the commoners and is thoroughly unhappy with the responsibility to care and decide things for them. She also has romantic views on what it’s like to belong to the common folk and often says she wishes to be one of them, unaware of how limiting, inconvenient, and difficult poverty can be.

The general consensus is that she’s better avoided as her lowborn mother’s traits show in her boorish behaviour and clumsy movements, proving that she has no place at court; wouldn’t want that to rub off on you. Some people enjoy her company and soothing voice, though. Mostly lower-ranking nobles of little consequence, girls a few years younger than her, and the servants she befriends of course. She’s also, obviously, seen as bad wife material. This might make her sound like a rebellious child but Ciri is not the type to throw a tantrum over things, purposely upset others, start fights or otherwise and would endure gossip and humiliation with a meek smile and, or if she reacts her words would lack subtlety and ‘intellect’, aka it makes her come off as an idiot and wouldn’t be too insulting to the person who insulted her first. She minds her own business and so long as others mind theirs she’s happy, as is also the came in most of her other verses. In other words, it all really comes down to her presence at court being very misplaced. Remo thinks it’s endearing and ‘gives the people something to talk about’, so he doesn’t scold her – protects her where he can. Silvan tries his best to ignore her existence altogether, though that’s a bit more dependent on the plot that’s decided on.

Possible situations, place at court:

Remo & Silvan are of royal blood, Remo being the crown prince. Ciri is Silvan’s bastard child, raised at court but not acknowledged by Silvan. Remo takes her under his wings and raises her as an important member at court, using her as a pawn ( to make Silvan seem more sympathetic/ involved/ as a spy under the guise of her talent as a (travelling) court musician/ to strengthen political bonds by arranging a marriage ). Little is Ciri aware that her position is a direct threat to her younger half-sisters; her being older, does she not have as much right on the throne as them? Whether her half-sisters see it the same way is up for discussion.

Similar as above but Remo dies at some point, leaving her back in Silvan’s awkward care. Silvan, convinced and aware of his own limitations as a ruler, would appoint her as his successor so he may abdicate quickly. Ciri resents him for this, ignorant as he is that she’s every bit as unsuitable and unwilling to lead a nation as him. Cue her trying to weasel her way out of it, or early assassination plots, or manipulative leeches trying to make a puppet of her; this would be a scenario where it’s advisable to look for a different successor.

In the event that Silvan/Remo are nobles or even just wealthy merchants who bought their way to court, and have come there to voice their grief about their village/ the Rroma etc. and thus lobby for better conditions, Ciri would mostly be left alone and treated with little interest by others, although she is still in danger of being an assissination victim, as it’s not in everyone’s best interest that Remo convinces the king/court of his right.

Another for if Remo passes away (whether by accident or assassination), better if he’s no heir but just nobility trying to improve the conditions of Rromani; here are actually some options for Ciri to want to actively partake in politics, if only to honour his memory & ‘fulfil his wish’, or even to uncover who murdered him. She’d still suck as before though and would need to rely on others to actually achieve what she wants: it’d be an incredibly dangerous undertaking for her.

Of course she can also be the servant or maid or musician appearing at court and take it from there, but then it’d be your muse’s royal au, not Ciri’s.

Anyway there’s a lot that can happen, catch me coming up with 25 more ideas depending on your muse.

Other things to consider ( on my side of the plotting ): - the position of roma in the society this would take place – are they accepted, outcasts, does it take place in a fictive court where they are a well-represented; is her heritage openly known or kept secret? on the other hand, could the roma try to use her existence as a means to get more rights and visibility in this land? - whether her gender is an issue or not. I’m a fan of not, of using a fictional setting where female monarchs are as common as male (meaning female soldiers and diplomats etc are also equally common), but either way works. - the stability of the country: is it peaceful? on the brink of the war? is there civil unrest or not? how important is it to have a stable ruler? How divided is the court, how many enemies are there? - Ciri’s popularity among the common folk largely depends on what they value/need. Because of her mousy appearance she’s not impressive as a strong leader who guides and unites the people, but her gentle demeanour can be useful if the people value benevolence and mercy - she will always suck and want to get out just know this. would also need help in getting out. - will never care much for a difference in ranks and loathes the titles and formalities that ought to be used.

[thesealfriend]

*puts on Serious Game Dev Hat"

This one might get really rambly so it's going under a read more. Main topics are Games, Crunch and University.

(For folk seeing this who are curious but completely divorced from the games world, because even though it's in the news a lot lately it's hardly the universal topic people think it is, Crunch is the term for when creative studios, in this particular case games studios, overwork their employees by "incentivising" them to work longer hours or produce more content for little to no compensation, usually towards the end of a development cycle when deadlines are looming. I put "incentivising" in quotes because a lot of companies say they don't force workers to crunch, it's voluntary and workers are just so passionate! But actually, taking a stand and enforcing boundaries can often come with consequences within the workplace - workers who stand up to crunch might be first for layoffs or receive bad references from employers when trying to move jobs. It's hardly as "voluntary" as they make it seem.)

Anyway, rambling already! Let's begin...

So I studied game design at uni. This is no surprise to those who know me or note my "game dev hat" tag. I don't work in the industry right now for Reasons™ but I plan to one day.

My across my degree, grades were based on about 70% coursework, 30% exams/class tests. Funnily enough, the best way to learn games is to make games. So out of that coursework, I'd say the fair majority was, if not "make a game", then at least "produce a design document"/"prototype a game"/"create a level". There was a decent amount of essay-based coursework, writing about the psychology of games or theory of play etc, as well as reports on projects, but I'd say at least half of my grade came down to some aspect of actually creating games.

And that was a lot. It's understandable for the kind of course it is, but we often found ourselves working on 2-3 games or levels in 12 weeks. Which, when you vaguely run the numbers and compare the expected output to the time, was about doable. We weren't making AAA masterpieces of course, we were working in groups of 2-4 usually to make a vertical slice prototype (all functionality of a game across a small segment of the content) or a level or two to fit a brief. But!

We were expected to put in 40 hours a week for uni, as though it were a full time job. That explicit expectation means I can try and step around trying to calculate hours in the day and subtract for travel, leisure, eating etc. I'm using the numbers we were given. So that's 40hrs total, over 12 weeks, but that's including all the time we spend

Depending on the semester we had about 12-16hrs of teaching time, sometimes plus up to 4 hours unsupervised lab time to work on class exercises, so let's call that 16 hours overall in uni. That leaves 24 hours per week, to work on usually 3 classes at a time. That's 8 hours, per class, per week. Multiply that by 12 and you get 96 hours. 96 hours in which to complete each class, assuming we spend the exact amount of time we're meant to on uni work.

Now that sounds fine, right? That's two whole Global Game Jams* for each class, and that's not including time one would spend at a jam eating, sleeping or resting. People make pretty impressive stuff at jams, so why not be able to do that over the course of 2 jams comfortably?

(*for the uninitiated, GGJ is an annual event where game developers (including designers, programmers, artists and musicians etc) cram into a room for 48hrs straight, get given a surprise theme and make a game out of it. It's entirely for fun and I love them. Also some jam sites give you free pizza.)

Well, the thing is, I've led you all down a bit of a rabbit hole going purely by the numbers. I've not gotten into the nature of some of the work, and the overall system, which makes a difference. See, unis want to teach us good time management, and they want to actually steer us away from crunch. I've been verbally told many times that Crunch Is Bad And We Shouldn't Let It Happen. So they build in systems like interim reports, and enforced team meetings with minutes taken and then rating your team members' performance, appointments with tutors throughout the year for bigger stuff. These are all meant to ensure that you're working on projects at the "right rate" and keeping up with deadlines. And honestly? For some of the less game-specific coursework (psychology projects, essays on theory of design etc) this works fairly well. Universities have been structuring courses the same way for decades, why change it now?

But the thing is, game development is game development whether you're in the "controlled environment" of a university or the Real World™ of the games industry. Quite frankly put, shit happens. And this goes for all university courses, not just games. You get the usual tech issues ("my computer broke and I'm having to do this work at the library/elsewhere on campus", "my internet is down and I can't collaborate with my group" etc etc) as well as the personal life interruptions, both of which are highly tied to class and that's a whole other essay ramble. You also just get that one person who assigns themself task XYZ then never does it, which you could have managed to do yourself if you'd known they weren't going to do anything, but they assured you they would! These are the things we're warned about, told to give extra time to account for, and if it's really bad most unis have some kind of "oh shit something outside my control happened" form you can fill in for extra consideration, as well as individual tutors offering extensions.

But on top of that you also get the games-specific issues.

You get that one animation that, no matter how much skill and effort you put in, you're not happy with. You get that weird code that won't compile, and nobody on StackOverflow can recreate. You get the creative block. My god, the creative block. And then, you get the last minute changes to the brief or structure, or if you're unlucky enough to be working for a real world client, you get *weekly* changes to the brief or structure. You get the fact that the software you've been given doesn't fit what you've been told to do. You get the natural period of downtime because you've worked on your character model, and you're waiting for another group member to finish an animation and there's bugger all you can do in the lull. Most of these are just, things that happen, and we're expected to work around them because they happen in the real world too.

But in the Real World™, whenever "shit happens", that's when a studio, if it's a good one, can work around the issues. They hire the right people, and the right number of people for each role, knowing the kind of work that's expected, rather than just going "ok we have more programmers than artists this year so the teams will reflect that, good luck". They vet the software to ensure it meets the needs of the employees and their tasks. They have producers to keep on top of the brief, and liase with clients to make sure everyone knows what they're going to be doing ahead of time and throughout. And on top of all that, they remove the time pressure. They set goals, that "we'd like to have XYZ done in 6 weeks, and a beta released in the coming months" but they don't expect the workers to perform miracles.

But universities can't, or won't, do that. At the end of it all, the end of the semester is approaching and you've been putting your best work in all term, but there's 2 weeks to go and so much left to do if you want to submit something you're happy to be graded on. You could ask for an extension, but if everyone who was in that situation did so there just wouldn't be deadlines. You could just push ahead at normal pace, and submit what you have and hope for the best, but then you're risking failing the class and having it all be for nothing. And some people will do either of these things + they'll sacrifice a grade and do a resit in order to give themselves more time to finish another concurrent project, or they'll glean a few days' extension for a very specific issue, but for a lot of folk, you do what feels natural when deadlines loom and you're behind. You crunch.

And much like industry, uni society encourages crunch implicitly, even though it explicitly shames it. The tutor tells you, "last year's students managed this project in the same length of time!" but they don't mention how all of them probably crunched too. They blame your time management, not realising that if 75% of the class are having to work around this then the issue probably isn't with individuals' time management. The students talk among themselves about who got the least sleep over the last two weeks of term, and it's a badge of honour (again, not necessarily game dev-specific, but there's definitely an enhanced culture of it there) and who put in 8hr shifts after uni to crush the bugs.

And we're taught about passion. One of my tutors, who is the most Explicitly Anti-Crunch man I know, was also the first one who told me that "If you aren't working on other stuff in your personal time you can't expect to get a job easily". He didn't say it in a positive way, but he knew it was the case and didn't encourage us to fight it. And sure, if game dev is something you enjoy as a hobby that will stand you in good stead. But if every student or young dev is told they have to go "above and beyond" to succeed, then that shifts the bar for what "above and beyond" means. Exactly the same as companies "incentivising" 60 hour weeks, so that everyone works 60 hours to prove they're passionate, and then 80 hours is above and beyond.

And you know the worst part about all this? From a purely productive standpoint, it works. For every class I got a good grade in, I'd crunched. And sure, I'd have probably just about passed most of them if I hadn't, but crunch in my case (and other folk I've spoken to) isn't the difference between an A and a B in games courses, it's the difference between an A and a D. Because sure, I'd submit 80% of the work, but without that final 20% tying it together that 80% of the work might make up 40-50% of the grade requirements. It's a very all-or-nothing discipline, except you can't physically do "all" because if you satisfy all the grade requirements, you get 80-90% because "there's always something more you could add to make it better". Which is also a whole other rant.

Anyway, my point with all of this is that, despite how it seems, studying game design at uni sets prospective employees up for crunch. The magnitude is lower, but the attitude is there. They know that they've done it before, that if they can just pull through a couple of weeks doing double time, they'll get it out the way. And so far, that has worked for them, because deadlines rarely do move. But in industry, they work their two weeks double time only for the worst of the studios to say "actually we see you working hard but also we're not gonna make it, you've got another month". And then they have to pull that time for another month. And maybe again after that. As a student, that kind of extension happened to me once - my 3D coursework was meant to be due before the Christmas break, and with 2 weeks to go, the lecturer announced we had til the start of the exam period (mid-January). But because we had that extra time, he expected the quality to reflect it. We weren't getting extra time so we could do the same amount of work without crunching - we were getting it so we could do more work. Again, the exact same pattern we see in industry right now.

So what's the solution? Honestly, I don't have one. Reviewing workload for students in creative subjects is a sticking plaster, and removing time pressure from coursework would require an overhaul of the system that I can't see coming any time soon. Acknowledgement of the problem is the best we can do for now. If you or someone you know is in or studying for an industry prone to this kind of behaviour, talk about it. Push the idea that the institution is flawed, and that whatever kind of unhealthy habits people pick up while studying don't have to become their life.

Look after each other. Peace out!

[ycllowshocs]

SHIP. ELISE AND REEVES.

uncamaleon said:

The whole shebang for the otp meme for Reeves 😘

[ MUN. This is my not surprised face :P ]

ALSO. Random note about Elise I realized I need to say after completing this and realizing she seems extremely shy and like she is a homebody which is weird for someone working in house sales; she’s not. Elise is great at her job. She can smooze and compliment people into buying a house and make that sale with the best of them. Be glad she isn’t in a competitive field. She’d hand you your ass. But in her personal life she is a bit more quiet and reserved. She can get really shy in a relationship because it is so deeply personal and it is hard for her to open up. ( She is very scared about getting hurt. ) Random people are easy for her. She can be polite to that poor lost guy trying to find the closest supermarket or the old lady that doesn’t know where something is in the book store. If it is people connected to an important relationship though she can get a bit shy. Like meeting someone’s family or best friends. Her high school reunion. It takes you back there. And with a developing relationship it takes her a bit to relax fully.

OTP Ask Meme

1. Who wakes up first?

Elise. She has a lot of early morning appointments for work. Also she is currently the only one of them that has an actual 9-5 style job. The only times Reeves beats her might be on weekends or if he never did fully get to sleep.

2. Who wants to stay in bed just a little longer?

Both. But Reeves is normally the one found trying [ and able ] to talk Elise into it. Though she is a pretty good persuader too ;)

3. Who takes longer getting ready?

They are both pretty equal. Reeves has his rock god musician look to uphold and Elise has her fashionable looks. It would probably end up being Elise. Because women’s clothing are not made to go on easily. And women are expected to do so much more to look presentable.

4. When they can’t sleep, what do they do?

Reeves goes into another room and works on music normally. ( Sometimes he might just watch Elise sleep for a bit. ) 

Elise slips out of the bedroom to watch tv quietly maybe on her ipad or on the tv so she doesn’t risk waking him up. Occasionally she’ll read that book she’s been trying to get through. ( With work and life she doesn’t get a lot of down time to actually be able to dedicate attention to a good book fully. She doesn’t read a lot at night because she doesn’t want to fall asleep and miss something important. )

If we’re talking the both of them, they normally will just lay there and talk quietly until one of them drifts off, fingers brushing patterns on each other’s skin and carding through each other’s hair.

5. Who falls asleep while watching a movie?

It kind of depends. They alternate depending on the day of the week. Either way whoever stays up longer covers the other with a blanket and cuddles up to join them or if the movie is over they’ll gently wake the other to help them walk ( or carry ) them into the bedroom. There are a lot of couch cuddles. These two are bad at sleep.

6. Who falls asleep last, watching the other with a small affectionate smile?

Reeves likes to claim he does more but Elise often goes in and out of sleep so she’ll wake back up and then spend the next little while just watching him and thinking how lucky she is that he wanted her.  They both do it though. The romantic saps.

7. Who comes up with the cheesy pick-up lines?

Reeves. He likes to use them to make Elise laugh.

8. Who gets extremely competitive playing Mario Kart?

Reeves. Elise doesn’t really play. She’s bad at controller games. She didn’t have a gaming system other than a Gameboy growing up.

9. Who accidentally pushes a door instead of pulling?

Reeves. He’s often on the phone with his agent or busily replying to an email or text and he gets distracted. Elise laughs at him when he does it. ( Before of course making sure he’s alright and kissing his forehead or nose where he smacked it. )

10. Who sets the other’s ringtone to something loud and obnoxious behind their back

Elise likes to set his ringtone to one of his own songs for amusement.

11. Who rearranges the bookshelf/DVD shelf in alphabetical order?

Elise. It’s one of her coping mechanism. If she’s anxious she’ll go on a cleaning spree and reorganize the apartment/house.

12. Who does the hands-over-the-eyes “Guess Who” thing?

Reeves. Because he is adorable.

13. Who points out a dog when they see one?

Both. They love animals. Don’t get them started on the animals they got to play with when on vacation in Australia....

14. Who’s prone to road rage?

Elise. She’s good about it but it is definitely there. She doesn’t scream but there are some very colorful words dripping out of her mouth under her breath. Reeves doesn’t drive all that much and is pretty relaxed anyways.

15. Who’s prone to wearing socks indoor (or to sleep)?

Elise does love a good set of comfy fluffy socks. Especially on rainy days. If it is cold she’ll wear them instead of slippers but normally she’ll take them off to sleep. A lot of times at night Elise runs hot so if she leaves them on she’ll get a little too toasty. 

16. Who reminds the other to put on sunscreen before going to the beach (or pool)?

Elise. She doesn’t forget to put it on because she has been pretty pale her whole life and burns very easily. There is not going to be a repeat of that summer after 6th grade...

17. Who carries all the important documents while traveling?

Reeves. He has actual pockets unlike most of female clothing. :/ They are both good at staying organized though. Two heads are always checking off docs when they travel.

18. Who gets the window seat?

Elise. She doesn’t get to travel quite as much as he does so it is an adventure. Also, this way Elise doesn’t have to deal with a stranger next to her. Reeves is more of a people person in all situations.

19. Who puts their cold hands/feet on the other?

Reeves. Elise if she does it is completely by accident. Reeves loves to get a squeaked reaction out of Elise and laughs. Though she does like his cold hands. Feet though. Not her favorite.

20. What do they argue about the most?

Though Reeves never really shows it, he is human and does get tired and frustrated at times. It bothers him that Elise hides in herself so much. That she doesn’t really show her actual self at all. I mean look at her apartment. It looks more like a show home when he starts seeing her than like she lives there.

Sometimes it feels like she doesn’t even really know herself. There are times when she just hides from him and he is just so frustrated that she won’t just be herself. And when they start dating it is something that she becomes aware of. She’s just so used to being disconnected to a certain extent. And it drives him crazy. He wants to know this woman he has been thinking about for a decade. This woman that he spent years going to school with and fell in love with her little quirks. He got to see a little bit of her at the reunion but at times it feels like he hasn’t learned much more than that night. He wants to know her likes and dislikes. He wants to know what makes her laugh and what makes her cry. And a lot of times she’ll just be neutral about something and it isn’t really even on a conscious level most of the time.

So it is frustrating. But.

They have made a rule never to go to bed angry. And always kiss each other goodnight.

And she really is working on it. Slowly but surly she is getting to know herself better along with Reeves. She has also been bad about doing things for herself before they were together. Most of the time she just lived for work and didn’t do much for herself.

21. Who’s clumsier?

Reeves. Thankfully never with his guitar.

22. Who texts more often?

Reeves. He sends little messages at random to let Elise know he is thinking of her; especially when he is out of town. She does too sometimes but she’s often on her actual phone for work or else has her phone on silent if she is with clients.

23. Who is better with kids?

More often Reeves since he is around his friends kids a little more now that he comes back to visit to see Elise. Kids tend to like both of them though. Elise is just fine holding a baby while people are busy. Her pretty calm energy ( when not surrounded by strangers or forced into the center of attention ) radiates with them. She’s good with calming crying babies. Reeves is the good one at keeping them entertained. They do well as a team.

She has been known to entertain a baby while parents go to explore a room more during a house showing.

24. Who’s the better cook?

Reeves. His food has more flavor. Elise likes flavor and hates the boring recipes from her childhood. There are not many recipes saved from her side of the family. They both like to pick up interesting spices they find at random to experiment with. They both like spicy food.

25. Who mistakes salt for sugar?

Reeves early in the morning for his coffee. He isn’t awake, okay? Stop laughing at him.

26. Who puts the fork in the microwave?

Thankfully no one has forgotten metal in the microwave but there has been a plastic fork at 4am before. Neither will admit who it was.

27. Who cooks at 2 in the morning?

Reeves. He likes to be productive. Though Elise has been known to bake brownies on a whim.

28. Who lets the microwave play the loud beeping sound at 1 a.m.?

Elise. Completely by accident. She’ll be in her own little world in the kitchen getting lost in her thoughts. Most of the time she tries to catch it because she doesn’t want her insomnia to bother Reeves but sometimes subconsciously she’ll let it ring out.

29. Who licks the spoon when they’re baking brownies?

They both do. Rebellious kids at heart. Salmonella who? Never met ‘em.  It’s chocolate. Of course they sample.

30. Who likes doing the dishes?

If they are both home and they’ve had dinner sometimes they’ll do them together. Reeves will do them if she has some extra work to catch up on. Because he is a sweetheart and knows how much a small gesture means to her. And cleaning isn’t just ‘for women folk’.

31. Who has bigger cravings? What are they?

Reeves gets cravings when on the road. Normally it’s for the little greasy hole in the wall place they like to get breakfast after a drunken night.

Elise likes dark chocolate Reeses.

32. Who remembers what the other one always orders at a restaurant?

Reeves. Again, small gestures. He knows her love language.

33. How do they eat ice cream? What’s their favorite flavors?

Well.. they know their mothers would frown at them and tell them to get a bowl, but a lot of times they buy little personal ice screams like Ben & Jerry’s or something and will sit on the couch with their own little pint in hand. ( There are a lot of dueling spoons as they normally like to also steal from each other. ) IF they do buy a normal sized container of ice cream they’ll use a bowl because those containers sweat a lot and then start sagging. 

Elise really likes that new line of Haagan Dazs spirits collection lately. She really likes the Irish Cream and the Bourbon sometimes makes her feel really grown up in a silly way. But normally she just gets something with a lot of chocolate. Possibly with brownie or nuts.

Reeves is good with simple classics like Rocky Road ( which if it doesn’t have coconut in the formula, because some heathens do, Elise will definitely try and steal ), peanut butter cup, and cookie dough.

34. Do they go on dates? What are they like?

They do go on a lot of simple ones like out to a bar or concert. It’s kind of his scene and she is fine with the relaxed atmosphere. Even just going out for some pizza and a movie is a good time for them. There is always something going on nearby. Sometimes it’s just an adventure down to one of the boardwalks for a few hours. ( yes, they, and by they I mean Elise’s park passes with a guest. She’s bought them for years. Before they were together she would sometimes like to just wander around and have a nice day to herself. Personal days are important. Her ex with the previous marriages wasn’t really a entertainment park person... ) 

35. What do they smell when they smell amortentia?

What equates out to Reeves aftershave, cologne, with a small tinge of his sweet sweat after a gig.

36. Which one is the secret snuggler?

If we are talking secret, I guess Elise??? Because everyone knows within 2 seconds of meeting Reeves he is a snuggler.

37. Which one offers their jacket to the other when they complain they feel cold?

Reeves. Elise is more likely to suffer in silence because she knew she should have brought a better coat even if the forecast said it would be fine. But Reeves can tell and will insist.

38. Who reaches for the other one’s hand while driving?

Reeves. He’s all about that touch. Elise is getting better at just doing it.

39. Who leaves little notes in the other one’s lunch? (Bonus: What does it say?)

Well.. Elise is the only one that might pack a lunch so I guess Reeves? if he is being a house husband for the week?? It isn’t really a thing that happens often. It’s more little text messages here and there. Cute notes are left in on bathroom mirror or on the night stands if the other has to leave while the other is sleeping. But packed lunches aren’t super a thing generally

40. Who is the most affectionate?

Reeves. Hands down. But that doesn’t mean Elise isn’t in her own way. And she is learning to be more physical in daily life.

41. Who is the big spoon/little spoon?

Normally Elise is the little spoon. But if Reeves has been gone a long time or is having a bad day/upset about something ( generally not Elise related; family, friends, career related ) she’ll turn over and curl up behind him with her arms wrapped around him and her head buried into his back. Kisses planted gently on his spine. She knows when he needs some extra comfort.

42. What is their favorite feature of their partner?

 Reeves on Elise: lips ( she does this thing where she bites her lip and it kills him ) and eyes ( he is able to understand a lot from her eyes when she just can’t get the words out ) Also her smile can make him melt.

Elise on Reeves: his confidence and sense of humor ( he is easy to her to talk to and can get her to relax and want to talk. I guess she should also add in his musical compositions with the reunion being her case and point. ) Physically it is his ass and his occasional flirtation with scruff. And of course his eyes/smile. She can also read a lot from him.

43. What is the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?

Well first off, Elise finally breaks it off with her ‘serious’ but really not that serious MANFRIEND. She knows deep down that he was mostly just a safety net/security blanket. She did care for him but nothing was ever going to come of it and she was too scared to even think about wanting more.

Reeves definitely starts visiting his hometown ( and friends ) more often as they start to work on a relationship finally.

44. What are their nicknames for each other?

Elise mostly just calls him Reeves. She has been known to call out a ‘babe’ ‘handsome’ ‘good looking’ just nonchalantly in greeting. Babe is probably her most popular one for him. Every once in a while she might let drop an endearment in Spanish ( especially if they have been with his family or listening to a lot of Spanish music [ she’s a pretty big Juanes fan ] which they do a lot when having Mexican. )

Reeves on the other hand is all about the nicknames. Babe/baby, sweetie, El, beautiful/bonita, mi amor, mi corozon. He uses a lot. Elise finds them really sweet and they make her smile. ( And thank GOD he stays away from things like ‘honey bunny’ or ‘pookie’ or anything related to food. Definitely not their style. )

There are times they call each other by their last names as a call back to high school.

45. Who worries the most? Over what?

Elise. Over everything. She has pretty bad anxiety. Though Reeves definitely worries over Elise possibly trying to run away in the beginning. ( Though he knows it isn’t because she doesn’t feel for him. She’s just scared and not sure how to handle a fully healthy relationship. ) He knows that she needs reassurances and is worried that with his traveling she might be left with her thoughts too long and talk her out of this thing they have been circling for over a decade.

46. Who initiates kisses?

Reeves normally. Elise does start doing it more but that is more often in the comfort of their own space than in public. 

47. Who says I love you first? How did it happen?

Reeves, obviously. He had it all planned out. It was going to be all romantic and a Big Moment(tm). But he’s talking to her and watching as she does dishes and he just blurts it out without a thought. The look on his face after when he realizes what he’d done is priceless and draws an ‘awww’ from her as she takes in his upset face at having spoiled his plans. She just pulls him over and wraps her arms around the back of his neck, trying not to get soap suds on him and looking up at him affectionately, sprinkling little kisses on his lips as she tries to comfort him. But just. The look.  It's like comforting an upset baby. They were trying to walk on their own and got two steps before doing something silly and falling over and she just walks over and draws him to her as he sulks saying 'aww' sweetly and giving a sweet kiss as her heart overflows with affection at his adorably upset face.

48. Who tells their friends/family about their relationship first?

Reeves. Elise is a pretty private person and doesn’t have too many close friends or talk about things like feelings with her parents really. Reeves does wait until he and Elise have had time to kind of talk at least a little bit about their situation before he spills it to their old high school classmates like Jake or Scott or even Sam.

49. What do they do when they’re away from each other?

Facetime. Lots of texting and phone calls. A lot of times Reeves will call after a gig to check and see if she has actually gone to sleep or she’ll call him if she is up late and knows he probably just got off stage. 

They also will watch Netflix together if they’ve been marathoning something.

50. Who gets overwhelmed by small acts of kindness?

Elise. Even if it is just something as simple as Reeves surprising her with her favorite take out at work because he knows she probably skipped lunch or setting up a relaxing bath for her when she gets home from a long day or just letting her have some space to herself sometimes

[halehavetogosometime]

omo shipping meme: witcher

Any of y’all kinky bastards into the Witcher yet?

If you’ve wandered here from elsewhere: here be Omorashi. That’s kink to do with pee, folks.

This is an interesting meme to do in this fandom, since it’s not anything close to a contemporary time period. Some stuff didn’t seem to apply at all, so I modified/removed prompts as seemed appropriate.

So here’s my take for Geralt and Jaskier:

--- Who wets because they didn’t want to get up from a video game/computer/work or other activity?

Obvs no video games, but I can see plenty of situations where Jaskier gets, like, super involved in composition, maybe... or, better, is performing someplace, for important folks mebbe, and has some close calls because the banquet goes on so long without a break or whatever. But I would think the hit to his reputation from wetting himself while in the spotlight would be much greater than insisting the musicians get a break, so i wouldn’t think there’d be many actual accidents.

Geralt, however, has definitely pissed himself in the course of a fight/his work and gives 0 fucks about that. it’s not even harder to clean off his clothes/leathers/etc than monster guts, so what the fuck ever.

--- Who insists they can hold it even when they can’t?

Def Jaskier. Like, I can see a scenario where Geralt would do this playfully if they were doing a hold for fun or as part of a sex game or smth. But genuinely? Jaskier is more likely.

though I also accept the take that Jaskier is obnoxious as hell when he needs to pee but can’t right then, and would never put himself through the pain of prolonging the torture, insisting he was chill when he was actually uncomfortable... and yeah, I can see acerbic Geralt in a situ, maybe at some kind of feast or ball where  he can’t just rudely walk away, for fear of reflecting poorly on Jaskier, and he’s no notion how to get away without being rude, so he’s just... he’s fine. he’ll be fine. he can hold forever-- it’ll be fine.

fuk.

--- Who pees in a bottle because they didn’t want to leave their warm bed at night?

I mean, is that not what a chamber pot is? And this is the era of chamber pots. And they both have dicks. I can see somebody making an argument for Geralt, with his canonically advanced sense of smell, preferring not to have waste just sitting around where he’s gonna sleep... but honestly, urine can’t smell worse than monster guts, so, again, I doubt he gives a fuck.

--- Who doesn’t pay attention to their fluid intake?

Jaskier probs. I would think that Geralt is usually hyper-aware of whether or not his body is in optimum condition. When it’s your primary tool/weapon, and you could be in a fight for your life at literally any time... it’d have to be some kind of extenuating circumstance to catch Geralt off guard.

But I can see Jaskier, high on good fun/food/company/wine being caught by surprise as he suddenly is quite full, out of nowhere.

--- Who has the larger bladder?

Geralt for almost certain. Like, Jaskier is a performer and traveler, probs used to good long stretches without prime opportunity for relief, he’s probs no slouch... but Geralt is literally a mutant bred to be physically superior.

--- Who is more likely to have a shy bladder?

Neither, both too pragmatic and comfortable in their own skins, probs. But I could see arguments for either, if an author wanted to go there.

I can see an argument for Jaskier, just because he can be a nervy little dude sometimes, so is the one more likely to experience the kind of anxiety that might cause such a thing (and he’s the one who insists it was unfair of somebody to kill that knight dude while he was “relieving his bowels, is nothing sacred anymore???” XD), perhaps especially while out on the road with Gerlat, where every stray noise in the underbrush might be a monster ready to bite his dick off or something.

And I can see an argument for a hyper vigilant Geralt, who struggles with getting comfortable/secure enough to take a piss, knowing he was uniquely vulnerable during such a time, and working so hard, so often, to NOT be vulnerable to all the shit that would gladly see him dead.

(I can also see a scenario for either one where they struggled with paruresis as a young person, and overcame it, and are caught by unfortunate surprise when it comes back, later in life, for no good/apparent reason)

--- Who will only use an appropriate facility?

Again, the time of chamber pots, I bet most folks have a real loose definition of what constitutes an appropriate facility. One could make an argument for Jasier, city person that he is, vastly preferring designated facilities... but again, he travels, and there are only bushes for “rest stops” between towns, so if he ever felt that way, he’s probs long since gotten over it.

I could actually see an argument for Geralt the other direction. like, he is mostly comfortable pissing in the woods, and actually finds it uncomfortable to do suck things indoors at all... or maybe just really dislikes the smell.

--- Who is more likely to have a holding kink?

Jaskier strikes me as the kinkier mf. like, I can totes see omo as a thing he’s low-key a bit into, like, he kinda digs being forced to hold during a performance, and then once they’re on the road together, he’s gotta play his interests real cool. but once he and Geralt are fucking, then I def can see him bringing it up, either trying to get Geralt to kind of dom him a bit and make him wait, or, shit, maybe getting Geralt to agree to wait.

I can see Geralt that way too, though. like, he spends a lot of time real focused on the state of his body, yeah? so I can see him approaching omo as, like, a way to challenge himself. like, “I can’t control the chaos, but I can control myself”, etc. in that scenario, once Jaskier works out that it’s, like, a sexy thing for Geralt, I put Jaskier 110% down to experiment/play with that.

  --- Who challenges the other to holding contests?

In the same vein as above, it seems like the kind of contrary, kinky shit Jaskier would do. But also Jaskier would have to know that Geralt was likely to beat him. so Either Jaskier finds the who situ hot enough to be worth the loss...

Or it’d be Geralt. Not explicitly phrasing it as a contest, but more goading Jakier into it subtly.

--- How would each react to having an accident?

I think Geralt, as mentioned above, really wouldn’t care. Were it to happen in a way that inconvenienced Jaskier or someone, or happen at a ball/feast/party etc mebbe he’d be a bit shamefaced, but in general, that will not be the grossest thing to happen to him this week, so I don’t think he cares much.

I think Jaskier, vain hedonist that he is, is more likely to be genuinely embarrassed or humiliated, and probably play it off with humor.

But in most situ, they’ve got bigger stuff to worry about, and hygiene at this point in “history” is low enough, (and their professions, I cannot state enough, involve being in close proximity to animals/wildlife/monsterguts), I don’t think it’s the sort of thing that would ruin either of their days for very long.

--- How would each react to the other being desperate/having an accident?

I think Geralt would find Jaksier in that position a bit funny or obnoxious based on the situation (and whether he had a kink), but likely would do his best to help him eventually, as he does with most things. (unless it was Jaskier being stubborn/prideful/arguing with Geralt that led to the situ, in which case Geralt would probs be quite happy to let the sucker piss himself, and serve him right).

Roles reversed, I think Jaskier’s first response would be surprise/incredulity to see the Witcher that far out of control. he’s quite protective of Geralt in his turn, however, so again, depending on the situ, he’d be helpful, likely.

--- Who is more likely to wet because of anxiety/fear?

Jaskier, 100%. I’m not sure Geralt experiences fear intensely enough most of the time to get to that point.

--- Who is more likely to wet deliberately?

Jaskier, if part of some kinky game, I think. Geralt in a fight/if it serves some purpose.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #355

“despite all my rage, i am still just a rat in a cage”

Have you ever shared a shower or bath with someone as an adult? No, only as a kid. What kind of pizza toppings do you like? Meats or jalapenos. When did you first take a shot of alcohol? Never, and I'm not interested. Did you babysit for money when you were in middle school? No. Who is your favorite band? How long have they been? Ozzy Osbourne, since middle school. Has the last person you kissed ever been to your house? My old house, yes. Not the one I currently live in. Have you ever been to a spa? Only because my friend at the time took me. When talking on the phone, do you place it against your left or right ear? My right. What’s your favourite Lunchables meal? The nachos one. Do you like Bob Marley? NO. Omg his voice is awful. Have you ever eaten at Golden Corral? Yeah. I'm not a big fan. Do you sit and eat dinner at the same table with your family? We only ever do that if my sister is over (she comes for dinner once a week). Are you listening to any music right now? If so, what are you listening to? Yeah, Violet Orlandi's cover of "Bullet With Butterfly Wings" by The Smashing Pumpkins. God she's so beautiful and talented and asdfjkaljddkfjlwkee FUCK I'm gay for her. Who was the last person to make you genuinely smile? Watching Mark. :') Is there something you want to say to someone but can’t/won’t? Yeah. Do you like men who have a sensitive side? Yes. Please be in touch with your emotions, for the love of God. Have you ever tried to get someone into a certain band/artist? Not persistently, no, but Mini is a case where me mentioning them enough got her to listen to them. Metallica, by the way. They're her favorite band because of mwah, haha. Have you ever carved you and someone else’s initials into a tree? It's possible, but I don't believe so. Do you like Dairy Queen? Love it. They're Oreo Cupfection thing is BOMB. Is there anyone you know with an amazing personal success story? Yes. I have a friend Shannen who first was a widely-recognized photographer in the state, and now she's a fashion designer (or something like that) up in New York. Is there a song in a different language that you can sing? A number of Rammstein songs. How do you feel about bands that use pyrotechnics in live concerts? So long they're well-made for safety reasons, I don't care much. They do seem a bit unnecessary, though; like just look at James Hetfield's accident that burned half his body because of standing in the wrong place. It seems easy to fuck up and get in a dangerous range. Ever fallen down a hole? No. Do you like bananas? Yeah. How long do you normally spend in the shower? Not even 10 minutes, usually. I've never understood how people can take such long showers. Have you ever been a featured member on any website? Yeah, on a Silent Hill fansite. Have you ever had any weird pets? Not by my standards. A ball python morph is as "weird" as it gets. Are you currently talking to/texting/instant messaging anyone? Nope. Have you ever experienced insomnia? Ugh, yes. I went through a horrible insomnia spell, and I still have an awful time trying to fall asleep. Do you like egg nog? Nooo. Would you ever wear Converse with a prom/formal dress? I'm not opposed to it, but realistically I'd probably wear something more traditionally suiting just because. Do you prefer hot chocolate with or without marshmallows? Without. How many different people of the opposite sex have you cried over? I've cried all the oceans over just one lol. Would you rather be a surgeon or mortician? Being a mortician actually doesn't sound awful, weird as it sounds. It sounds almost relaxing if I could just be alone with some music doing my job. Would rather be a musician or a painter? A painter. Would you rather write your own book or make your own movie? I'd love to write a book. At home, do you have a trampoline? No. When you are about to go to bed, do you put on some sort of noise? No. What is your favorite Christmas movie? Jim Carrey's How The Grinch Stole Christmas. And what about your favorite Christmas song? Probably "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" or whatever it's called. "Carol of the Bells" too, of course. What is your ultimate favorite stocking stuffer? Haha, okay so it seems to be an unspoken rule that Mom always gets us Slim Jims for our stockings, and that's obviously the best considering my sisters and I loooove them yet still don't buy them much. You're making me ready for Christmas, lol. After Halloween, do you sort out all of your candy into little piles? I did as a kid, and then my sisters and I would trade what we preferred. When you listen to music with headphones, do you keep the volume low enough to hear surrounding noise faintly, or do you blast it? It's honestly pretty loud. What did you have for breakfast this morning? Cold pizza from dinner leftovers last night. What’s the largest animal you’ve ever had as a pet? Our late boxer mix, Cali. She was a big 'ole pup. Do you own any kind of helmet? No. Out of everything currently in your refrigerator, what food or drink is your favorite? Food: strawberries. Drink: Mountain Lightning. What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had? Either when I skinned my knees so deep that pus was visible, or when I fainted onto my chin and got a short, but very deep cut. Do you like the taste of cough syrup? No. What is something you like to have conversations about? I like talking about deep stuff, like where we came from, our unique feelings and beliefs, conspiracy theories and cryptids, mysterious stuff like that, too. And don't forget animals. And Mark, haha. What all is in the trunk of your car? I don't have a car, and I don't remember what's in Mom's trunk, even though I helped bring in groceries just the other day. Do you ever put fruit on your cereal? Ew, no. Is your heat or air conditioning currently on? Our AC is currently on because it's too damn hot. The weather here has been so up and down, it's wild. Have you ever fallen off of a horse? No. Which do you value more, your appearance or your intelligence? Honestly? I'd be dumber than I already am if it meant being happy with how I look, because my appearance now is a key factor to my depression. When was the last time you drove something other than a car or truck? Oh jeez... I have no idea. I don't think since I've driven a golf cart at someone's b-day party as a kid. Were your grandparents present when you were born? No. If you drink/smoke, how often do you do these things? I don't smoke, and I only have a drink or two very rarely, usually just on special occasions. What do you think of fast food? I like it way more than I wish I did. What website do you spend the most time on and why? YouTube, because I'm always listening to and/or watching something. What’s the most amount of time you’ve spent online? Is this usual for you? In one non-stop setting, I don't want to know. I pretty much only exist on the computer. When it comes to travel, what kinds of places intrigue you most? Mountainous, loads of nature, cooler/cold, mysterious locations... stuff like that. Do you think humans colonizing Mars is a good idea? Would you go, if you could? If we learn from our goddamn mistakes and not fuck up its environment, it could be healthy or even life-saving for humanity, but I'd prefer to stay on Earth as long as possible. What is the farthest you’ve walked in one day and what made you do it? I dunno, maybe at Disney World or something like that as a kid. What is something important that’s often on your mind lately? Physical health stuff. I'm worried about a lot of things relating to that. What about something unimportant, but you can’t stop thinking about it? I don't know about "unimportant," at least to me. Do you like oatmeal? If so, what kinds of things do you like in it? Yeah. I only really eat the cinnamon apple ones; I always use milk and sprinkle some sugar in there, and it's delicious. What was going on the last time you felt nostalgic? When Mom and I stopped at Jason's house to bring the family some treats following his mother's death. I stayed in the car and couldn't even look towards the house, but yeah. So many memories just stampeded me. How much attention do you pay to the movements of the stars and planets, and do you believe they influence anything? I pay zero attention to it; I don't believe they have influence over people in any way. What is the most difficult or involved video game you’ve ever played? I guess you could say World of Warcraft. It's definitely the most involved, like I've been playing it almost consistently since 2014, and I used to be in a Heroic raid team, which certainly wasn't easy. Then there's some achievements I busted my ass to get. Which accent do you find most sexy, alluring or appealing? British is where it's at. Which accent do you find most annoying, disturbing, or bothersome? Extremely Southern ones. Can you cry on cue? Is it any kind of useful? No. Does it take you a while to actually get jokes? Embarrassingly, it frequently does. Can you wear socks to bed or does it annoy you? Ugh, I could never. I hate the feeling of socks. Have you ever bleached your hair? By myself, no, but a professional has to dye it. Do you like jelly beans? They're okay. It really depends on the flavor, and even then I can't eat a lot of them. Do you have trouble sleeping when it’s storming? Yes, but not because it scares me, but rather that I'm just jumpy. Subtle thunder isn't so bad, and I LOVE the drone of heavy rain, but once you add booming thunder and strong flashes of lightning, it's too disruptive for me to fall asleep easily. Who was the last person you know that graduated? (high school or college) My not-so-little sister is just about to finish her Master's lakdsjfakwe I'm so proud of her. Were you happy or sad when you found out your babysitter was coming? I think I was always kinda bummed out, even though I liked my babysitters. I had horrible separation anxiety from my mom. Did you have a boyfriend in kindergarten? No, but I did have this one guy who'd been like obsessed with me since pre-k and would always chase me to hug and kiss me. In pre-k it was awful, but he still did it sometimes in kindergarten, despite the teachers getting on him about it. It's actually a memory I forgot for a very long time, like I think my brain tried to oppress it, and I wonder if it has anything to do with my fear of people standing behind me, men specifically, and being raped. Did you ever read the Magic Treehouse series? Oh yes, I was obsessed! Who was your best friend in elementary school? It jumped between Brianna, Kim, and Quiata. Did you ever watch The Land Before Time movies? YESSSSS. I even had the computer game. Did you collect anything when you were a kid? Stickers. I'd put them on my dresser everywhere to the point it was absolutely covered. Did you get an allowance? No. Not because my parents didn't want to or anything, but rather they couldn't afford allowances to three kids. Were you into American Girl dolls? Nah. I got one, but I think it was mostly so my sisters and I each had our own. Nicole, however, was sooooo into them. Were you friends with your childhood neighbors? Some, yeah, especially the boy down my street named D'Andre. We would hang out ALL the time, be it at each other's houses or just riding our bikes. He actually got married very recently and I'm so happy for him, ahhhhh!! What was your biggest fear when you were a kid? Thunderstorms. Did you ever play the "Reader Rabbit" computer games? Oh my god, YES. The one where you were hosting a surprise birthday party was my absolute favorite. Did your parents let you drink soda growing up? Yes. .-. What was your favorite kind of cake as a kid? Chocolate, of course.

[vroenis]

Reaching Out, Reaching In

It would be criminal not to use ABIIOR for the lede given I’m going to quote Matty albeit not quite verbatim - nevertheless - buy this album, it’s incredible.

But of-course, I’m going to start by talking about

BT

I mention BT a lot; he enters the lists often in my writing, in my discussions. Like many artists in my collection and listening rotation, I seem to be really into an artist for a period of time and then reach a cutoff point where I stop being into them. This probably happens for most people, I don’t know, I’ve not asked most people, but I do want to be very careful of not living in the past or rather dying in it. Still, I like to keep finding new things or rather I’m compelled to. I enjoy things that continue to grow older each second time passes, but I always thirst for new creations by all artists of all ages, whether they bring to bear the experience of years, or they’ve only been around for a few. The point is everyone is here on this wild ride and art is their response to the stimuli; it’s what comes out of us in abstract and semi-abstract, re-translated and it forms these amazing emotional and often transcending connections and multifaceted responses in us and by us I mean me.

I’m getting distracted.

In the last and understandably downcast piece on my deathbed playlist, there are three key BT albums and it’s worth noting the years he released them;

2006 - This Binary Universe

2012 - Nuovo Morceau Subrosa

2016 - _ (untitled - there’s a story, you can look it up if you like, it’s more or less just referred to as the character *underscore*(verbal))

There were other albums in-between but naturally those don’t make the list as far as what I want to be hearing if I’m half or unconscious or in a delirium on my way to imminent death. In 2019, BT released two albums;

October 2019 - Between Here And You

December 2019 - Everything You’re Searching For Is On The Other Side Of Fear

You may remember I wrote a whole lot about 2009 - 2019 and these albums were absent.

If you go to the wiki for BT, which are his initials for Brian (Wayne) Transeau, you’ll see a wonderfully rich history of a stupendously talented musician and immensely intelligent individual. He is part of a collective of people most wouldn’t know about (which is perfectly fine, to be honest) who are responsible for the digital audio revolution that has completely changed the way we create, record, produce, publish and distribute music as we know it. There are parts of that people may think are negative and some elements certainly are, but the net benefit is unquestionably positive even if only on the sole subject of accessibility. Accessible digital audio has put creation and power within reach of everyone and of-course this means there’s a glut of material available, but it also means we catch sight of more amazing art rather than never see it, or it not seeing the light of day. I lean on humans seeing it and saying that directly rather than speaking in abstract. The light of day is literally us - we humans, seeing the expressions of one-another and hopefully remunerating appropriately so that we can continue to live and improve each other’s lives.

I have always had and continue to have immense respect for BT. He began writing This Binary Universe when his daughter was born, and as she grew, continued working on the album with this tiny infant often in his lap as he worked. He wrote it from creation in 5.1 surround sound, rather than all other “surround sound mixes” being done in retrospect from the stereo stems. It is an astonishing work and See You On The Other Side may very well be one of the greatest pieces of music in history. When I first listened to TBU in 2006, I  had a myriad of emotional responses and I certainly didn’t have as much knowledge of BT’s creation process and background for the album at the time, but I can appreciate that shortly thereafter upon learning it, it probably does form biases in how I feel about the album. This will be important to the discussion later. Nevertheless, the album feels massively injected with specific intent and yes, surely every artistic work is regardless and we’ll get there. This is going to be personal but all writing is - that doesn’t warrant further discussion, we should always be making that assumption.

I follow BT on Instagram and saw him build his awesome new studio, an amazing space for all his gear and synths and something any music professional would love to have in some way... which I may check in a moment, or perhaps not so soon but I hope I don’t forget to come back to that. I will say that I do like it. It is a wonderful playground of vintage, rare and new synths, of super powerful computers with extremely new software and plugs, of high-end analogue desks and outboard units, extremely nice monitors and custom designed absorbers, panels, racks and furniture. It is an absolutely amazing space.

After the studio was finished, he did some collabs with some other artists and folks, some of which I also follow on Instagram whose setups are wildly different so it was nice to see some cross-over. He also interspersed with increasing regularity work on his albums which included clips of 100+ piece orchestras and often DAW session captures of the stems and him working on them. It was all pretty cool and the tiny snippets he posted were rad.

In October 2019, I was travelling to visit family due to cancer treatment, something that’s been at the centre of my life for well over 18 months, and I have my first full listen-thru of Between Here And You on an early morning when the rest of the house is asleep. It’s pretty great, sonically I like it a lot. I don’t have the same response to TBU but I don’t expect to, I should give it a chance, but it still doesn’t elicit a really significant response in me. At this point it has to be said that on the same trip, I have my first full listen-thru of Telefon Tel Aviv’s Dreams Are Not Enough, having slept on its initial September release, and that might be enough to give context to how I responded - it may have been where my head was at and remains to this day. I couldn’t shake it tho, as I still really have an affinity for TBU and I was wondering what was up.

Fast-forward to December and the release of Everything You’re Searching For Is On The Other Side Of Fear, and I do not respond to this album at all. It has some decent BT synth and sample work in it that exhibits his amazing talent, but it’s cut with orchestral and choral music that to me is indistinct from any other contemporary material available on a Pandora channel playing similar genres. I hate the sound of myself being so critical of someone I admire so much, because for someone who can write bangin’ trance and intricately complicated micro-rhythms and sample-chopped music, someone who writes their own freaken’ software and who edits audio down to the sample because their attention to detail is so specific and demanding - for that same person to be so talented to also be able to write scores and choral vocal arrangements is immense. I’m sure it all means so much to BT and I’m so proud of him for creating what to him must be an amazing work. I’m not trying to say anything negative about the work itself...

But I just don’t respond to it. Almost all the other music I’ve been listening to over the last 10 years including very recently, feels like it’s been created in response to extremely personal experiences that haven’t all been great - singular or accumulations of events that have precipitated significant introspection, and the art that has resulted from it for me reflects it clearly. BT’s two albums feel like... a very fortunate and privileged guy who’s had a lot of time and opportunity to play with his gear, record it and release it. The title also sounds presumptuous as if to position that systemic poverty and oppression and struggle outside of ones’ control can be solved by the oppressed simply stopping being afraid and I border on hating it every time I read it... - and that sounds so horribly mean because it is, I don’t intend for it to be mean. I need to check my expectations and I need to respect that Brian is still doing what he wants to do and he doesn’t owe me anything, least of all in something as abstract as how something sounds and whether or not I like it, because ultimately that’s all I’m talking about here, no matter how obscure I want to make the discussion. The intent of the title, especially - I’m certain - isn’t to diminish those who suffer, and I should be careful in my reading of it. So keeping myself in check, I’m here to explore the rest of my response, and I’m going to try and give further context.

Coldplay

I’ve no problem telling you I like Coldplay. I guess if you knew more about my musical background, it’d be less of a surprise, tho if you’ve been following along, it’ll make sense. If you’re reading this journal backwards, it may or may not, depending on how much I write about production in the future. To cut a long story short, like many bands I’m almost not at all into the band themselves and almost entirely into the production that surrounds them. Meow meow meow, all the art purists will bang-on about how music is about the performers but producers and engineers are artists in every way as much as performers are, and even bands or individuals who “just perform” with their instrument and no-one else on stage and no technicals (screens, lights, unseen backing musos etc.) still have a myriad of people surrounding them without which they can’t execute their working careers. Anyway, feel free to remain ignorant of those facts if you like and be all “pure performers”, no problem - magic can be real for you.

I lost track of Coldplay at after their 2015 album A Head Full Of Dreams. I’m less emotionally invested in the band and totally don’t mind that they’d up until that point releasing more or less the same sound for four consecutive albums. I really like the sound and if you pay close enough attention, it was actually evolving nicely, enough for me at any rate. I’d forgotten all about the band which is easy to do when you don’t really pay attention to pop-music and the activities therein, and then a couple of months ago (January maybe?) by whatever divination of the YouTube algorithm, a video titled Coldplay: Everyday Life Live in Jordan came up in my recommendations - a thing I was until then, unaware even existed. I’d no idea what the band was doing and I’m always keen to give them a shot, so I clicked-thru.

Moments ago I said I was happy with the band doing the same sound over and over again, and when I listen back to those albums, I’m still fine with them - let’s call it the Viva/Prospekt’s/Dreams anthology. Several things struck me about Everyday Life. Given my personal experiences of the last ten years, my struggles and the struggles of everyone around me, both personal and the cultures I observe and choose to observe, watching these four guys geared up in these ruins in Jordan looked stupendously privileged and a massive flex of wealth and influence. It looked like money buying good photography, framing and impossible location kudos and style. The sound in culture to my personal experiences also felt irrelevant.

And now I can finally talk about

The 1975 - Reaching Out, Reaching In

I now don’t remember whether it was at the ABIIOR concert in Melbourne, September 2019, or in one of the many interview snippets on YouTube or an article - I’m fairly sure it was his voice, so I either saw him say it in a video or he said it at the concert or both. Matt Healy said something along the lines of...

“... I know our last album was very inwardly focused... but A Brief Inquiry is very outwardly focused... it’s more about the world... and you... and us...”

That is not at all what he said verbatim but it was something very similar to that so I desperately hope a 1975 fan drops in and corrects me or can find a clip of him repeating it. Anyway there are a lot of really good things to extract from that, firstly from what it means about The 1975′s music and the culture that forms around it, and then about the discussion I’m having.

BT, Coldplay and The 1975 all live in my Ultimate folder on my hard-drive,  but while BT and Coldplay fall where they will alpha-numerically as far as directory structure is concerned, The 1975 have the auspicious honour of having leading zeros in their text so they appear first. This is so that I never have to scroll all the way down to T in any program or utility (like my car’s head unit) to find them. Worth noting that composer Yoko Kanno is 01 and Underworld are 02.

The album that preceded A Brief Inquiry... was released in 2016, titled I Like It When You Sleep, For You Are So Beautiful Yet So Unaware Of It, an intentionally Emo title, I believe or at least hope, and it is definitely an inwardly focused album in the themes indicated by its lyrical content. It’s to date one of my favourite albums of all time, superbly performed and produced and overflowing with emotion - there’s some truly heartbreaking sound and words therein. I feel like this album is a perfect inclusion with the others in my Circa 2009 - 2019 piece that was somehow vaguely about how much of a struggle those 10 years have been. I guess it’d be difficult to get a notion of that if you’re not familiar with the music and material, but all of that music is introspective - it’s all about reaching in. As mentioned above, the art these artists are producing is the result of deeply intimate experiences, some they share directly with us outside of the abstract of art - relationships, family loss, drug addiction, mental health - but many that they don’t so clearly telegraph and leave us with the abstract; the art.

A Brief Inquiry.../ABIIOR certainly is about reaching out, even when the lyrics do seem to be personal, but to me as an individual, it feels to reach out in the right way - that is to say *I* feel it’s reaching out to a world *I* identify with, in a way that *I* agree with or find agreeable. The songs in ABIIOR are about misunderstanding, they’re about not giving up, making mistakes, desperation, honesty, the chaos of the destruction of modern society. One of my all-time favourite songs has sprung from this album and has become anthemic for me - Love It If We Made It and I’m going to embed it;

And now I feel I want to say that naming an album “Everything You’re Searching For Is On The Other Side Of Fear” and also performing a concert in ancient ruins on the top of a mountain during a picturesque sunrise in Jordan with expensive drone photography both feel to me like also reaching out but in ways that I don’t like and agree with, that feel irrelevant and/or culturally inappropriate but I use the term culturally to mean my personal culture; the culture I see myself fit into as an individual that interacts with others, the struggles we seem to share as a collective.

I feel as tho Coldplay once did reach out in the good way I’m trying and possibly failing to describe, or perhaps just trying to frame from a position I prefer. I felt they had a more grounded sense of community with everyday people which makes the irony of their most recent project more apparent. It may well be that I just don’t like what these artists are doing any more and that’s fine. Sometimes we might feel entitled to a sense of righteousness, to validate our distaste for something on a more grand cultural level, to co-opt others into our critique so more fingers can point and collectively say “See?! That thing you’re doing really *is* BAD! More people said so!” but I really am keeping myself in check and not wanting to do that. I think I’m writing this journal to explain myself to myself - yes, to log my justifications because I believe in them, but also ensure I don’t turn into an arsehole. 

Still - I stand by my criticisms because they’re important. I don’t know why in-particular these few examples struck in this way when others didn’t. I bought a bunch of Anjuna music that has nothing to do with culture and emotional response in the ways I’ve discussed them and I love them. Sometimes music is about bangin’ beats and euphoria and that’s OK. Still, the world isn’t entirely a joyous place for me at the moment and hasn’t been. There are positives to celebrate, but I have never been one to only log my celebrations. In particular from a mental health perspective, only documenting positives is incredibly hazardous and I condemn the practice. As much as these entries are laced with darkness and difficulties, each one also contains the things that assist me in surviving, keeping me nourished and navigating this often hellish experience of life. Ultimately of all my skills, seeking out art I identify with is the most valuable survival skill I have, it is the only one that matters. 

Love is a kind of art, there’s nothing abstract in that statement - the love between people is artful, in any and all forms it takes - hence the tags; Art Worth Dying For, and Art Worth Living For.

[ourceliumnetwork]

I’m bored and found this having been done by a blog I admire, @vinceaddams. Plus, I - like my projection-favorite Dragon Age Inquisition Character, Dorian Pavus - love talking about myself.

1. Name : I have many and much. I’m currently playing with the name Eyrelain/e (undecided about the final e) but for the purposes of simplicity and what I’ll generally answer to, just call me M.

2. Zodiac : Aries sun, Taurus moon, and either Leo or Pisces rising but I’ve never been able to get that one clear on my birth charts lol. 

3. Height : 5′3" roughly.

4. What time is it ? 11:57pm as of just now - it will be much later by the time I finish this

5. Favourite musician / group ? I’ve always hated this question on these things. I barely know what I’m listening to at any given time, let alone have a favorite out of them all. I just like music.

6. Favorite sport team ? If pressed (and generally if I’m around my family) I state one of the Washington DC teams - and to be fair those are pretty much the only ones I’m familiar with. But honestly I have fallen out of touch with the sportsball games and will have to work extra hard to get back into the, ah, swing of things as it were. Mostly the only sport I give a shit about is Hockey and that’s mostly because I find the players extremely attractive. Something about Russians missing teeth just really does it for me, apparently.

7. Other blogs : @witchwraytohome is mostly aesthetic with some roughly witchcraft-y, spiritual-ish bullshit fleckled in there. @adara-et-al is where I’m trying to put shit about my original characters but I’m bad at keeping up with these things so it’s not well fleshed out yet. @lia-and-em-adventure-in-thedas is a joint blog with @sumomoblossom77 for the fic I’m working on - we’re mostly keeping references and stuff there for now, but maybe one day the fic will go up there too. Once i’m finished with it anyway.

8. Do I get asks ? lol no. Maybe one or two in a blue moon but generally those are from friends who send me DMs usually. I’m not against asks, of course, so please send those on if you have them!

9. How many blogs do I follow : 80, apparently - higher than I thought it was the last I checked but then again I have a terrible memory and do not check often.

10. Any tumblr crushes ? Nah, but not really any crushes right now either. 

11. Lucky number : 3, 5, and 6 tend to be numbers that come up frequently for me and portend nice things. Multiples also count, because lucky numbers are what you make them.

12. What am I wearing right now : a pair of quickly falling apart jeggings, and a really fuckin soft old navy sweater-shirt my mom got me for xmas. it’s so soft. It’s also a lovely dark taupe color

13. Dream vacation : 1) any vacation would be a dream vacation right now. 2) I’d love to travel to Japan. And if I’m in Japan why not go ahead and hit up S Korea, and Taiwan, and China and Hong Kong, and then let’s just go ahead and get all the pacific islands, the Philippines, and head down to New Zealand to head that off there. 3) Of course that’s not taking into account wanting to go further west from there, Tibet, India, Russia, idk maybe the whole middle east. Then do I go down into Africa and start making my way through there? Clearly with the trajectory I’m on I’d start in Egypt and make my way down south from there. Or do I go the opposite direction and take on Europe? Pretty much what I’m getting at here is I’d one day like to travel the entire globe - take like...at least a year probably more, and just explore the world. Eat in every country. Enjoy life. Idk...it’s a dream. 

14. Dream car : One that isn’t almost 20 years old would be nice. less than 100k miles on it would be *excellent*, but I know that’s asking for a lot. Gotta have A/C and working windows. A relatively new sound system would be great, so the radio isn’t jangly (though honestly a working radio is enough). If I can hook up my phone to play music - AND A CD PLAYER, IT HAS TO HAVE A CD PLAYER. And her hair whatever color it please god.

15. Favourite food: I’m gonna have to say steak and/or sushi. I will ALWAYS be down for either. Or Mexican food of any sort. Seriously, you want to win me over? Feed me in general. If you feed me Mexican food (god, especially authentic central or Gulf coast mexican food yaasss) I’ll be yours forever. 

16. Drink of choice : If we’re talking alcohol, always a margarita. I’m a tequila bitch for sure. Non-alcoholic, diet cola (whatever brand I’m really not picky). Though I have found these fun little powder things my parents use called ZipFizz and boy howdy are those tasty as FUCK.

17. Languages : English, very little Spanish, German and French. I’ve been learning a few fantasy languages for fic I’m writing (where Spanish, German and French will come into play, so I imagine I’ll learn those more too). Oh and Latin. I know a little of Latin. It’s not a lot and it’s not great but it could be worse.

18. Instruments : I used to play piano - I technically still can but it’s not very good at all. I tried playing bass guitar which was...alright. I did not go very far with it. I played the recorder for class in elementary school like most everyone else did, and that was...interesting.

19. Celebrity crushes : no one, really, right now. I’m kinda figuring myself out a little and haven’t really processed attraction past “they’re kinda fit, wonder if they’re an alright person to get to know” and then realize that there’s no way I’d ever get to know them as a person outside of their fame and celebrity so I just kinda drop it. ‘S not worth the time or effort honestly.

20. Random Fact : All my old injuries that bother me are completely invisible from the surface - my one that crops up the most is my knee(s) but from the outside nothing looks the matter with them (unless the start swelling but that doesn’t happen as much anymore). Second most easily aggravated is my shoulder that also has no outward sign of having been an injury. Third most easily aggravated and honestly rarely rears its head unless I do something immensely stupid or it’s bitter fucking cold outside, is my right ribs. I got knocked really hard and they were cracked but not broken but I was also, like 10 when it happened and I’m fairly certain they healed slightly incorrectly. Sometimes it feels like I’ve got light bruising and sometimes it’s like they’ve just been injured (depending on the cause of the aggravation). I do not have good scars to show people to be like “yeah this acts up because I was stabbed in the jellies but it’s fine except during low-pressure weather”. I just all the sudden cannot stand up right, or reach over my head properly and I have to deal with it.

[astrologicallygracie]

Types of Mythical Creatures🧚🏼‍♂️

Hi bby’s!✨A lot of you requested I do a mythical creature based on your astrological placements so I created a reference to all the mythical creature options. If there’s something you think I should add or change than let me know - this is all just for fun!✨

✨Ocean Mermaid: This is the mermaid that we most often imagine when we hear the term “mermaid.” These are the mermaids that have hearts of gold and a wanderlust spirit due to their ability to travel and swim for long periods of time within the ocean. They’re very playful, curious especially with each other!), & the most likely to be “spotted” by humans, probably due to their curiosity and their associations with land, however, that doesn’t take away from their naturally cautious nature as I’m sure these mermaids have seen and heard some scary & destructive shit in their day - especially when it comes to humans. Oftentimes their tails are deep blues & greens in order to blend in to their surroundings.✨ They can be very shy & hard to really get to know, maybe even seeming standoffish, but once you do they are very loyal, friendly, & have lots of personality despite their independent and careful nature when it comes to humans and other dangerous/scary species.

✨Tropical mermaid: This is a type of mermaid that, obviously, lives in a more tropical & warm climate. Due to this their tails mimic a lot of tropical fish or coral colors/patterns in order to blend it to their surroundings for survival reasonings. These mermaids can definitely be omnivores but many of them enjoy a lot of land fruits & vegetation. Like most mermaids they have very adventurous and curious personalities, however, they don’t travel as far or as long as the open ocean mermaid does but instead stays in their warm comfort zone. Like many mermaids, they are naturally cautious but they are more likely to be around areas with humans, just deeper down near the bottom floor with the coral reefs. As I mentioned earlier these mermaids are more inclined to staying in their comfort zone which I feel really speaks to their friendly and “bubbly” nature - however, it’s important to keep in mind that these mermaids, like the open ocean mermaid, can be very cautious of humans and the scary stories that come with them.

✨Freshwater mermaid: These mermaids live in lakes, ponds, rivers, etc. & so their tails are usually greens, browns, golds, and other earthy tones that help them blend in for survival. Their skin itself can even have an earth toned hue to it in order to help blend in with their surroundings and the murky water/area. They can definitely be much more social than that if saltwater/ocean mermaids, probably because their living environment isn’t nearly as toxic with stories of humans. They very easily stay more close to home around their family/pods rather than adventuring out as much as other types of mermaids and they are very social creatures with a beautiful bubbly, earthy, and happy personality. Their energies are very calm, much like their down to earth habitat.

✨Deep sea mermaid: Deep sea mermaids live in the ocean just like the tropical and open ocean mermaids, however, they live further out and much deeper down where the water is darker, cooler, and more temperate. Their hair and tales are usually much darker in color & their tales are usually black, dark blues, dark greens, & dark purples. Deep sea mermaids, much like the freshwater mermaid, do travel in packs/pods but they aren’t as social as other kinds of mermaids - they mainly stick to their own thing and vibe on away from everything and everyone else. They are very independent in that sense and they usually don’t have as much of a curious or adventurous spirit as the other mermaids but instead stick to what they know and in their comfort zone. They’re basically the introverts of the mermaids lol

✨Arctic mermaid: These mermaids obviously live in the colder/arctic regions and their coloring reflects that with a lot of cooler and pale colors. Their tales and overall coloring are usually cool blues, whites, silvers, grays, and other pale tones. They are mainly omnivores as there isn’t much vegetation in cooler climates and they often have extra layers of fat to keep themselves warm ✨ Arctic mermaids are very isolated due to them living in such a cool climate so they can be very oblivious to the outside world, only knowing things from what they see so they can be very cautious. They live in dark water and caves so they aren’t used to things outside of their realm but they do enjoy eating & staying warm & independent ✨

✨Angel: Angels are always depicted as ethereal, divine, & spiritual beings. Of course how they are viewed depends on what religion/mythology you look into but I’m sticking with the more spiritual/stereotypical interpretation. Angels ooze a calming, loving, and beyond this world/realm energy. They are nothing short of light & love and they have this way of making anyone feel safe, protected, and loved. They are the healers and the intuitives and they can very easily pick up on others energies and intentions as well as spread light with their presence alone. 👼🏻✨

✨Nature Fairy: A nature fairy is the type of fairy that we all usually think of when we hear the term. Every fairy has its own uniqueness but like humans, they can be biased and have their own likes and dislikes. With that being said, they can be very cautious and choosy with the people they meet or come across or are around. They gravitate more towards humans who have a love of the earth and take after it as they are like nature angels in a sense because they are here to take after the natural world and preserve it in the best way. They can, however, be pranksters and have a mischievous demeanor towards those they aren’t fond of. How you treat them is likely how you’ll be treated back. Fairies are very upfront and genuine. They love to have fun and they love nature and if you respect the things they respect (such as the earth) than they will likely respect you. ✨🧚🏼‍♂️

✨Asrai Fairy: These fairies are actually water/aquatic fairies and their appearance very much resembles that. They have a very youthful or childlike appearance and energy and their hands and feet are webbed in order to fit their environment. They are very small in height and their skin is cool to the touch. These fairies are very youthful in personality and their biggest fears are being confused or captured and being in the sunlight as the sun can kill them. They are very shy and introverted in personality, often being very shy towards humans as humans often try to capture them which can kill them if they are taken into sun. They are very beautiful and they live for hundreds of years. ✨

✨Apsara Fairy: These fairies are mainly found in Buddhist and Hindu culture ✨ They are nicknamed “sky dancers” and they are fairies of the sky/air and of music. They are often depicted as celestial beings and beautiful women who are beautiful dancers, singers, and musicians but they are also shapeshifters. They enjoy celebration and are often present and ceremonies and important events such as weddings, giving birth, and other beautiful life changing events. ✨

✨Pixies: Pixies are very small and beautiful creatures who have an intense love for being mischievous and having fun. They are small in height, have blue/green tinted skin, & they have slightly pointed ears. Pixies often spend most of their time in wooded areas or meadows - usually places that are a lot more naturey and foresty. They love dancing, singing, music, and overall having a good time. They can be extremely childlike and curious in personality and nature and naturally, they have a jokester side to them - especially with humans. Also just to be clear, pixies are not fairies! 🧚🏼‍♂️✨

*I’m going to update this ✨