#it didnt cure me its like it went full circle

[meanya]

Drank a Caramel latte. I have acquired ADHD²

[harley-style]

kallura + langst

keith and allura became a thing in the middle of a heated battle

they kick ass and actually talk things out because theyre both straightforward people.

keith raises concerns about lance's "crush" towards allura, and admits he'll be very much jealous. allura assures him she will talk to lance.

when lance finds out he gives them both a bright thumbs up and both sigh in relief.

lance is screaming inside. not because of allura.

because during keith's stint as the black paladin, lance started getting confused over whether he liked allura or was developing feelings for keith.

eventually, he concluded that while he was infatuated with allura (seriously she was a Woman) he considered the connection between him and keith to be deeper and more meaningful. thus, he loved keith more than he liked allura.

he tried denying it which is why the conversation between hunk and pidge teasing him about allura happens, but the boy loves keith and kept it a secret. during shiro's return and them going back to earth lance comes to terms with his feelings and tries to talk to keith and fails

and then kallura.

kallura's affections are very much real aand are very strong which is why lance doesnt truly resent the two about it. he's never seen keith so settled and happy, so he steps aside.

keith confronts lance about his assumed feelings for allura and lance just coldly ends it with "you dont know me well enough to assume I was in love with allura, keith."

keith is confused, allura is too. shiro suspects but respects lance's wishes to stay silent.

meanwhile, lance is dying inside. it turns out keith only cares about him in a distant, team family sort of way.

he ends up confessing to red, who kind of grows protective over lance, who's heart burns like the hearth of a home. and kind of snubs keith for a hot second before lance gets red under control.

when they get to earth and lance spends some time with his family, he gets the hanahaki disease.

rachel is the only one who gets an answer out of lance and is immediately wary of keith but lance snaps her out of it

NONE of the paladins are aware of lance's feelings for keith except shiro

shiro definitely does cknfront lance about his sickness but the moment he sees petals fall out of lance's mouth he puts two and two together and is promptly horrified

shiro keeps making glances at lance and kallura and its pissing keith off

lance tells shiro off. "I know you're worried Shiro, but the last thing Keith and Allura need is for me to get in between them. Drop. It." "But Lance, you–" "Don't you GET IT? I DON'T MATTER SHIRO. NOT TO THEM. Please...just...leave me be. I'll last till the end."

keith and allura, eavesdropping, wonder what that was all about but cant make heads or tails off of it.

at one point post battle. lance ends up coughing flowers right after the battle, and though he cleans it up, a little blood is left in the corner of his lips.

allura sees this and brings attention to this. shiro tries his best to play it off for lance's sake and lance catches on quickly, but keith isnt having it and has coran check him.

lance feels light headed and escapes to the bathroom

there he pukes a lot of blood and flowers, collapsing but not unconscious.

this is how allura finds him. she rushes him to a pod and NONE of the paladins can figure out what was wrong with lance other than "he's got persistent flower seeds in his lungs"

keith shouts at shiro who visibly flinches but gives in and explains.

the team is horrified.

but they still think lance is in love with allura.

in thus universe the hanahaki is still just that obscure angst trope so theres no known medical record of curing it other than shiro's words of "only if his love is reciprocated"

keith and allura "take a break" from the relationship to try and convince lance that allura loves him

it goes about as well as you could expect. lance sees through the bullshit.

allura tries, she really does. shes so so so so so very scared of losing anyone else she loves so if pretending to love someone she doesnt is what it takes to save lance, then she's damn well going to do it.

as for keith, yeah, he admits he and lance didnt really get on with each other in the start, but dammit, lance has been part of keith's small circle and damn if he was letting anyone else he loved get away from him

nothing allura does works. keith storms shiro's room, who had just assisted lance (who was in the bathroom at the time). keith confronts him and asks why lance isnt cured yet.

shiro stalls and shifts around the issue, uncomfortabel with revealing a secret that isnt his to tell. other than him, lance is the only one with homosexual tendencies.

"Why the fuck isn't Lance cured?"

"Maybe it's because you're using the wrong person, asshole."

Lance has never been more intimidating while standing half naked with only a towel around his waist.

"For fuck's sake, I love you, Keith Kogane. Not Allura. This whole pretending to reciprocarte my feelings plan was never going to work."

"But...you've always been in love with her!"

"I was never in love with Allura! I loved the idea of being her boyfriend!"

"But why Keith?"

"You're his girlfriend. You tell me."

"I think they can't understand why you went from hating Keith to loving him."

"Oh my god. You really thought I hated you? EVEN AFTER SHIRO'S DISAPPEARANCE? I was you literal RIGHT HAND Keith, and your biggest supporter! Just...forget it." Lance leaves the room and cries in his own room. Oops.

From then on Keith and Allura spend the rest of Lance's life left apologizing and just generally beibg a better friend after talking with Shiro. Keith spends time with Lance while Allura fruitlessly spends hours with Pidge and Coran researching for a cure that doesnt involve reciprocation. She fails, but Lance appreciates her efforts.

Some angsty fluff happens with everyone and tears are shed.

Finally, at the end, it isn't Allura who sacrifices herself to the cosmos, but Lance, who, even without Quintessence to spare, went on a separare mission to enact a ritual that enables him to act as the sacrifice instead of Allura. This puts the Hanahaki disease on hold, but he keeps the fact that he paid a higher price to exchange it with another curse a secret. He just ends up coughing the remaining petals

He hugs Allura tight and kisses her cheek. He gives everyone else a tight, heartfelt hug. Hunk hugs him the longest, and Shiro's is the most desperate one.

To Keith, he cups his jaws, Keith grips Lance's waist tight (this is purely platonic, remember that Keith has only NOW found a family worth fighting for and cannot fathom the idea of losing any of them. Read: Shiro.) and doesn't want to let go. Lance looks at him fondly, before dropping two rings in Keith's palm. His final blessing for Keith and Allura.

Keith is full on crying, begging Lance not to go, he can't leave them like this, not like this, there has to be another way. Lance smiles sadly, tells Keith not to worry about it. Allura hugs them both tightly, which prompts everyone else to pile around him as well.

As Lance fades away, he gives Keith one last gift. A flower that falls as soon as Lance's lips land on Keith's forehead.

Afterwards, after a funeral for Lance, Lance's mother gives Keith and Allura their share of his belongings that were divided according to his will. In that box, they find a photo album, Lance's phone, and two letters, addressed to each of them.

[willofhounds]

Half and half each shall share half ch5

A/N thanks for your reviews and support.

DarkRavie: thanks for your review my friend.

WhiteElfElder: thanks for your review my friend. Sometimes to get answers you have to be little Gryffindor.

Tom's POV

Just as he closed up the journal he heard movement from the separate rooms. The magical aura was still softer than normal telling Tom that Harrison wasn't completely awake. He moved away from the desk so not to appear to be snooping.

Harrison stumbled through the doorway. His black hair was more askew than normal. Green eyes had dark circles around them.

Harrison queried leaning against the wall, "Riddle? Why are you here?"

Tom replied as he moved closer to the other, "I was asked to check on you by the Headmaster since you didn't come to breakfast or to teach. What are you doing, Potter?"

Potter swayed dangerously as he slurred, "Tired. It's the full moon. Have to sleep."

Then the green eyes rolled into the back of Potter's head. He barely caught the man before he hit the ground as he collapsed.

Tom laid him down upon the ground. Checking Harrison's pulse he found it erratic and skin hot to the touch.

Making a quick decision he picked the man up. It wasn't that startling to find that Harrison was still light as ever. Then went to the man's floo.

After taking a handful of the powder he called out, "Hospital wing."

A second later he was tossed out into the Hospital Wing. Madame Pompfrey order recognizing who he was holding, "Place him on the bed. Potter what have you done to yourself now?"

Tom answered carefully, "Professor Dumbledore asked me to check on him. When I was in his office he collapsed. The only thing he told me was that he was tired."

Pompfrey nodded but didn't say anything. She drew her wand and began casting spells on Potter. Tom recognized the diagnostic spells. They went from vital checks to checking magic levels and health.

His seeker center appeared with the next spell. It was darker than he remembered. The last time he saw it being when Harrison almost died in a mission just before graduation.

Tom had been in Hogsmede when the boy apparated directly onto his table. Blood had gone everywhere. None of his spells could stop them. Despite their estrangement he didnt want to see his first friend die.

He remembered clearly the fragmented center. It was still it's normal color but that was the only thing normal about it. The silver lines unconnected and pieces where they didn't belong. Harrison explained to him once about what center should look like under magic. That was definitely not in.

Madame Pompfrey had made an emergency floo call to the Huntik Foundation. The last thing he saw before he was ushered out of the Hospital Wing was three top Huntik Foundation members flooing in.

Harrison wasn't the same when he was released. The happy go lucky look was replaced by a haunted one. With NEWTs approaching he had been unable to focus on it.

Now his center was as dark as Tom's magical core. It no longer looked like a smashed plate. He could still see the silver lines of where it had been broken.

It pulsed in a way that it hadn't before. As if it had a living heartbeat. Given what he had found out that wouldn't surprise him.

Pompfrey sighed as she stowed her wand away, "He's fine. Besides physical exhaustion there is nothing wrong with him. My guess is that not sleeping finally caught up to him. Its good to see his center fixed again. I didnt think we would ever see him again after graduation."

Tom queried having the feeling that he would not like the answer, "What do you mean?"

"Seeker centers do not fix themselves once they are broken," came the mournful answer. Tom felt as if he had been run over by a hippogryff, "Seekers do not die in a bed or hospital. They go off on a journey or a mission and simply do not return. Given the state of his center now versus three years ago. He must have made a deal with something. Whatever the price was I hope it's worth it. There is nothing more I can do here."

Tom had a feeling he knew what saved Harrison's life. Why someone would make such a deal he didn't know. There was always a price and more often than not wasn't worth the price.

What was your price Harrison?

Harrison's POV

When he awoke he knew immediately that he was not in his rooms. The air was too clean smelling. His room smelled of fire and old books.

Opening his eyes he was surprised to find himself in the hospital wing. It wasn't where he expected to be at all. What he found next to his bed was even more surprising. Tom Riddle was sitting there.

How did he get in the Hospital Wing? Why in the name of Merlin was Riddle doing at his bedside?

Pompfrey said startling him, "He brought you here after you collapsed in your office."

When did he collapse in his office? He always spent the day of the new moon in bed. Ever since making the deal with Murasame he felt week on the new moon. There was no explanation for it. Given how easy it was he knew it was too easy to be his price.

When he looked up into Pompfrey's hazel eyes he found disapproval in them. She hissed angrily, "Dont think I dont know why your once broken center is now fixed and pulsing with a heart beat. What were you thinking?"

Harrison held his right arm up into the light. That was a good question. What had he been thinking when he made the deal?

His main focus during his time away was to survive. Find a way to live but the reason wasn't selfish. Deep in his heart he knew the real reason was because of Metz.

Alec Metz had been both his and Dante's mentors. When Dante was on a mission that he wasn't ready for Alec looked after him.

Then in his sixth year Alec left on a mission. When he returned he was at death's door. Both he and Dante had been devastated. They swore to find a way to cure him. Magic was keeping Metz alive but it wouldn't last forever.

That search was what sent him on the mission that almost killed. Just like now it had been Tom who got him to the Hospital Wing.

The hunt for something to fix his center wasn't just for his benefit. He had to find a way to save Alec too. So far he still hadn't found that.

Finally Harrison laughed depreciatingly, "All I wanted was to live long enough to save my mentor. I never intended for it to become like this. I cared less for own survival than that of my friend."

Harrison's hands clenched even as he sat up. Murasame had more abilities than just healing the holder's. He just didn't know what they were yet. The legend wasn't specific.

A familiar growl almost made him jump, "You aren't worried about your own survival? Aren't you worried the demon will slowly destroy your soul?"

Welp Riddle was awake. How much had he heard? Then the words clicked.

Destroy his soul? What soul? His soul left him when Alec got sick. Alec was the soul of the Foundation. Everyone felt the loss with him unable to help.

Harrison replied, "I do not fear losing my soul to Murasame. Just as I do not fear death. I knew what I was getting myself into when I started my search."

Tom snarled, "Gryffindors! None of your house has an ounce of self preservation. No doubt the Huntik Foundation is full of Gryffindors. Their leader the worst of the lot. What could be worth your life Potter?"

"How about the one who saved it?!" Roared Harrison in return.

[talesofatwentysomethingwitch]

new beginnings

the very, very beginning of my journey into wicca was quite embarrassing. 

i was fourteen, looking for a book to pass the time on a flight to poland, and came across p.c casts’ house of night series. (please, spare me your eye rolls) house of night is the story of a high school for vampires with links to pagan and wiccan beliefs. i loved the series, even passing it onto my best friend of the time. 

the protagonist of the book and her friends are invited to a group called the ‘dark daughters’ and wore a set of triple moon goddess pendants. one year and two more books later, myself and my best friend were proud owners of author-approved hand crafted dark daughters necklaces. and this, for me, is where it began.

now, i was still an ignorant teenager mind you. i did little bits of research on the goddess nyx (she features heavily in the series) and the representations of the triple moon, but didnt really see the traditions for what they were. the series provided a nice crash course on the pentagram and how it can protect, the elements and their varying powers and uses, so whilst my mind did open up a lot to these beliefs, mostly i was swept up in the sensationalised idea of being a vampire and controlling the elements and having a crescent moon painted on my forehead. 

i was a teenager, i dont actually feel that much embarrassment, in fact i look back on these memories fondly. unfortunately i dont wear my triple goddess necklace anymore because a, i havent read the series in years and missed out on the last few books, and b, im no longer friends with the girl who was a main part of the reason i wore it. that relationship didnt really end well and hurts still considering how close we were. i know theres the option of cleansing the necklace, but, some doors are best left closed i think. 

cut forward six years, and all of a sudden im surrounded by magical people. 

last year, i started working for lush. now, now, spare me the jokes about how kooky and over the top we all are (we are, okay) so of course i’d meet a witch whilst working here, but honestly? i didnt expect it. one day im learning the different between lavender oil and lavender infusion, the next im talking to one of the spa therapists about rituals, and how she hexed someone in her last job using tea. i was enthralled. 

this all came at a time when i started to ask myself the age old question; what am i doing with my life? before lush i was working somewhere i can only accurately describe as hell, so when i got the job full time i naively thought all my prayers were answered. but when my mental health started to creep back in and my performance at work suffered for it, well. my head was in spirals. 

i think its important to say though that i wasnt reaching for wicca to cure me. rather, it was something i’d always had a niggling interest for and finally decided to pursue. 

the road that led me here started with a colleague recommending wiccapedia to me, which after sitting down in a waterstones and reading for an hour, i decided to take home with me and do some more research online. funnily enough, the aforementioned spa therapist proclaimed that that book in particular was ‘a pile of crap’ after i told her i had started reading it. i was slightly discouraged, but she swiflty recommended scott cunningham to me and to take a look at hoodoo blends tea and let her know if i wanted to try any. so i was right back on my way. 

i bought scott cunninghams wicca: a guide for the solitary practitioner which sounded right up my alley; i didnt like the idea of going out and finding a coven straight off the bat. im a very secluded person, i like learning what i can alone and then reaching out. i also bought thea sabins wicca for beginners but ive yet to finish that one. 

the constant tone i picked up on throughout all my initial research was; this religion is an open one. which i love. 

i say initial because im still learning, which is where this blog comes in! i have a mirror book page where im going to try (try being the operative word here because i am quite lazy and have a full time job) writing daily entries about what ive learnt and tried that day, meditation, rituals, learning about oils and their uses and crystals and stuff! i have a grimoire which im constantly adding to, and a tarot page as ive really taken a liking to tarot! 

i spoke to yet another colleague the other day about wicca, she was really open and patient with me and we spoke for twenty minutes or so as i was having second thoughts about worshiping deities, but she gently reminded me how open wicca is (and explained the differences between wicca and paganism) and this prompted me to remember how fascinated i was by the triple moon goddess. and thus my research went into her, and we’ve come full circle if you will.

im excited! i have been ever since i jumped into wicca, and im planning (hopefully) my first ritual soon! and something for halloween. 

thanks for reading, and blessed be

[viralhottopics]

Why You Should Stop Reading Self-Help Books

In 2006 Rhonda Byrne published ‘, a book that sold the power of positive thinking as the cure to the woes of the modern world. That book went on to sell more than 19 million copies in 46 different translations and define an entire genre of books, DVD’s, and workshops that make up the world up of self-help.

Byrne wasnt the first person to publish a self-help book. She wasnt even the first in 2006. The self-help world had been alive for over a century and had been a billion dollar industry for over a decade. But that book became the figurehead for a genre of books and products that have become one of those most profitable and predatory industries in the world.

These books are always full of the same old buzzwords and worn out phrases like living in your authentic self” or “living your truth or any other combination of words that fill up pages but dont actually tell you anything. Nevertheless, the self-help world has grown up into a multi-billion dollar industry that lines its pockets thanks to the made up problems of millions of self-help addicts.

You probably know who Im talking about. You might even have a friend that counts as one. Theyre always reading books that talk about their truth and telling anyone that will listen about the power of positive thinking, all while talking about how much their life has changed thanks to [insert book name here].

But have you ever noticed that those same people tend to stay at the same points in their lives? Theres not much upward mobility. At least it doesnt really look that way once you start peeling back the layers.

Sure, if you look at their carefully curated social media profiles, at a first glance things may look like theyre perfect. They have it all together. Theyre constantly making moves, grinding, hustling, or any other mix of annoying internet slang for just staring at a laptop all day long.

But if you really pay attention, are they actually moving forward in life? Are there relationships improving? Are they making more money? Are they putting more into the world than theyre taking out of it? Probably not.

Theyre too busy caught in the vicious circle of problems the world of self-help has told them theyve got. Dont join those people. Quit reading so much self-help. What do I mean by self-help books? This is a surprisingly general question since quite a few books and types of books can fall under this wide umbrella.

To be clear, when Im talking about self-help, Im not talking about psychology or philosophy books. Though those could definitely be considered self-help. Those take a bit of a deeper approach and tend to leave you asking more questions by the end than you even knew existed.

Psychology and philosophy, while expanding your island of knowledge, also make you painfully aware of your ocean of ignorance. No, when I talk about self-help Im talking about the cannibalistic genre that promises to pull back the veil on your innermost problems and provide the fix overnight. The kind of book that tells you youve got a problem and the only way to solve this problem is by buying this very book. THAT is the kind of genre Im talking about here. And if youve read these books, you know it never stops at one.

Once youve read one, they probably name drop a few books that are the only cure for other problems within that you immediately add to your Amazon cart. And then you talk to a few friends who have other recommendations because they had their lives radically changed by a similar book, so you add that as well. Before you know it, youve got 12 books waiting for you to crack open. And youre only just getting started because more recommendations are flooding in. Especially because Amazon has figured out this is what youre buying, so they show you more of this kind of book.

Its like everywhere you turn youre realizing you have all these fucked up problems, and people are offering the book that holds the solution.

This process is cannibalistic. Im not saying people dont have problems. In fact, people are endlessly fucked up in a myriad of ways. We all have our trauma that we have to deal with and work through. We all have issues that impact our day to day lives, our relationships, and our careers. And this is why the self-help genre was born. Because some people did have real solutions, that if you acted on them, would actually help you.

But over the course of decades, the genre has grown into this cannibalistic entity that sustains itself on the same repeat customers buying books from the same authors, constantly searching for happiness like its this endpoint theyll magically reach. And thats fucked.

Happiness isnt an end point. Its not like your vacation where you drive for what feels like years to finally get to the beach where you can kick back and drink all day long.

Life doesnt work that way. But dont tell the world of self-help that. They sell books with the underlying message saying that once you read this book youll solve your problem and youll finally be happy. Except you wont. Because in that book youll hear about a couple of other books that address problems you didnt know you had.

So what should you do instead of reading self-help books? First things first, if youve actual problems then you need to see a professional. The world would be a better place if more of us were open and willing to see a psychiatrist or therapist. That should be the first move you make instead of self-diagnosing and trying to solve a problem with a backpack full of books.

Im not an advocate of book burning, so as much as I would like to tell you to go burn all of your self-help books, Im not going to do that. That would be folly of me. Go take them to some local library or place where you can donate them. That would be a good move on your part. Make that happen. Next, go to your local bookstore and seek out some great fiction. If you havent ever read it, read , , Hemingway, Fitzgerald, and especially read Vonnegut.

Take your time and work through some of the classics. Read things that you were told to read in high school, but your eyes glazed over. Youll have a much greater appreciation for the books now, I promise you.

All that matters is that you read fiction. Why? Because fiction offers a real road map to changing your life. A far more effective road map than any self-help or personal development book can. Which sounds crazy, right? But the truth is, we as humans have evolved to understand the world through stories. Stories are by far and away the most effective way we can understand the world, what is happening, and come to grips with reality.

Aside from the predatory nature of the self-help genre, they get this fundamental fact about humans wrong. The self-help world has done great in recognizing that one of the primary motivating factors for people is pain, and using that pain to peddle their wares.

But where theyve fucked up is they tend to hit people with loads of information and very little context. And thats the exact opposite of how we as humans have evolved to make sense of the world. We spend all day every day telling ourselves stories about our lives. Theres even a psychological phenomenon that speaks this very occurrence called the narrative bias. We unwittingly seek out stories in movies and TV. And when someone does a story well, it tends to blow up. Primarily because the story has touched on something deep inside us that can only be reached via story form.

Stories provide us with both an example of how to deal with reality and an escape from reality. They transport you into another world where the characters are dealing with problems you may not even be able to relate to, until you start to take a broad view of things and realize that each and every one of us has a dragon we have to slay, much like our favorite fictional character.

They stretch your imagination. They give you new ideas. They frame old problems in new ways, presenting solutions that may have never been available to you if your nose was buried in all this time. And that is real value. That is learning how humans were meant to learn.

Read more: http://tcat.tc/2oT70DZ

from Why You Should Stop Reading Self-Help Books