#it could be foreplay

[bloggerspam]

This may or may not be the final extra I'll write for the extras in Mech!Val. This might be all I have.

There is a secret Dead On Main smut chapter that has yet to be posted, but that can honestly be read as a standalone.

Please dont ask me for more, I want to but I think this is all I got.

For now, I hope you enjoy this stupid little thing!!!

===

"Are we sure about this?"

Danny nervously wrings his hands, as he curls up on Jason's couch. "I can still text her not to come."

"No, I'm not sure about this." Jason sighs, wiping his hands on a dish towel and rounding the island to sit on the sofa next to his boyfriend, "But it's too late, Dickolas is coming over even if we tell him not to."

Danny makes a high pitched stressed sound, grabbing a throw pillow and smothering his face into it to scream. Jason rubs a hand up and down his boyfriend's back, trying his best to also not freak out.

They've had the terrible idea of meeting their oldest siblings.

As much as Jason loves his siblings, he will not subject Danny to all of them at once.

Plus, you have prepare for at least 3 years to even be remotely ready to meet Batman.

Danny, equally, refused to make Jason go through his parents—much less the experience of Amity Park.

Which confused Jason, at first, but small town mentality means strangers are noted—and when Jason thinks about it, it's not dissimilar to someone coming in to the Alley thinkin' they can make cozy with the residents.

Yeah, he gets it.

And so, compromise: Eldest siblings first.

Jason has cooked a feast, all of Jazz's favorites and notably none of Dick's: a platter of pigs in a blanket, a bowl of seven layer salad looking like it came straight out of a Midwestern cooking magazine, and the pièce de résistance: homemade lasagna still warming up in the oven.

For dessert: brownies, from scratch of course, extra chocolatey and melt in your mouth.

Danny knows, because he tested it. It's science.

The window clatters, before an electric hum starts to zing through the air.

Danny looks towards the window, then to Jason, who is adamantly not looking at Danny, nor the window.

"Honey…" Danny grips Jason's arm when he starts to shift, preventing the older man from running away, "Darling, why do I hear the hum of bootleg electric fence systems?"

"How do you know they're bootleg?" Jason asks instead of answering, still looking at the kitchen and not Danny.

"It's a distinctive hum." Danny deadpans. "My parents used them, after all."

Jason flinches, looking down at where Danny is white knuckling his forearm. "So. Uh. I may or may not have upgraded our booby trap system?"

Jason tries to make the puppiest of faces, but Danny will not be deterred, especially when the window slides open and Dick Grayson tumbles onto the floor in a singed heap, dodging an arrow of all things aiming at him.

It flies just above their guest, towards where Jason and Danny are sitting on the couch. Danny uses his telekinesis to stop it from embedding into the coffee table.

Danny does not take his eyes from Jason, narrowing them as if to say was that what you wanted?

Jason bites his lip, scratching his cheek with a finger sheepishly. His boyfriend shrugs, as if to say yeah?

A groan chimes at the same time there's a knock at the door, a shave and a haircut.

Jason and Danny share a look. Danny sighs.

"You get the door, I get the window?" Danny slides up, loosening his grip and patting Jason on the forearm gently. Jason, clearly seeing that he's on thin ice, nods frantically as he heads towards the door.

They split, Danny's nerves coming back in full force as he inches his way towards the twitching lump on the ground.

"Hi…" Danny drags out the vowel, ending upwards in pitch like it's a question, "Dick Grayson, right?"

The lump groans a little, flapping a hand.

"Right." Danny nervously chuckles, rambling. "Of course you are, who else would you be, coming in through the window like that? Well—but then, it wouldn't actually surprise me if a random Gothamite crawled through our window, but that would complicate things considering the traps—"

"It's fine!" Dick cuts him off, mercifully, "It's all good. Everything is A-OK."

The other man shakily pushes up, before doing an absurd flip onto his feet. Entirely unnecessary, but somehow still sticking the landing with electrified muscles.

Danny, dazedly, applauds.

Thankfully, Dick seems to enjoy that and even does a little bow.

"You must be Danny!" Dick grins once he's done with his theatrics and injury, grinning a devastatingly handsome grin. Or, at least, I sure hope you are or it's gonna get real awkward real quick!"

Danny giggles, charmed and extremely grateful that Dick is willing to overlook Danny's earlier word vomit and treat it like it didn't actually happen.

"I am!" Danny smiles, shaking Dick's hand as he offers it. The smile turns sheepish when he nods towards the window. "Welcome. I'm—sorry, about that."

Dick waves it off, huffing a laugh. "No, no. Not your fault. Jaybird's always been a little reluctant to introduce me to his friends, much less his significant others."

"I can't imagine why…" Danny innocently throws over his shoulder as he leads the other man towards the kitchen. "I'm sure you're a delight to all his friends and significant others."

"Oh, ha. ha." Dick rolls his eyes good naturedly. "Jay's been telling tales about me, huh?"

"Not tales, Dickolas." Jason cuts in, sidling up to Danny and wrapping a hand around his waist. He glares at his brother as if protecting Danny from him. Ancients know why. "Only the truth."

"Y'know, somehow that makes me feel worse." Dick contemplates. "Real hostile to a guest, aren'tcha little wing?"

"I think that says a lot more about you than it does your brother." An oh-so-familiar voice adds in.

Danny grins, peeking over Jason's shoulder to see his awesome sister in all her glory. "Jazz!"

"Hi, Danny." Jazz's smile is soft and welcoming as Danny rushes over for a hug.

It goes smoothly from there, at least for a little while. Introductions get made, small talk checked off bit by bit

The food is a hit: Jazz is delighted to see her favorites laid out in a spread, granting Jason an approving smile that makes the man preen.

Danny and Dick get along like a house on fire: They're punning and showing off how flexible they are in a sort of playful competition.

Dick is charming, Jazz is sweet—Jason was worried Dick would go crazy over Jazz, but thankfully that doesn't happen.

Not so thankfully, they've somehow come to the unanimous conclusion that they are mortal enemies.

"Steph maintains a 3.65 GPA." Dick is saying smugly from where he's doing a handstand next to Danny. "Even with her nursing assistant job."

"Val's kept a 3.88 GPA for the past year." Jazz scoffs from her seat next to Jason on the sofa, patting Jason on the arm briefly. "And you're not suggesting working for your little brother is any less of a job are you?"

"Now you're just putting words in my mouth." Dick rolls his eyes, "But you can hardly compare the odd hours of busy clinics to a set schedule of afternoon shifts. Jaybird back me up!"

Jason lifts his hands in surrender, even as he makes nervous and incredulous eye contact with Danny.

"First you imply that your sister is better than my sister," Jazz frowns disapprovingly, "And now you're invalidating your brother's work!"

"She's not even your sister!" Dick argues as he twists to sit criss cross applesauce. Danny follows suit, slipping to the sit on the floor by Jason's feet.

"Steph's not your sister either???" Jazz counters back, sheer confusion lacing her tone.

Jason leans over to whisper in Danny's ear as the two devolve into nonsensical arguments about their not-sisters. "I told you Dickward gets stupid around redheads."

"You meant that literally????" Danny hisses back, "I was expecting something like, I don't know, frat boy flirting???"

"Dick's not even remotely a frat boy??" Jason looks lost and confused, as if Danny's the crazy one. "I mean, Richie is, but Dick is—"

"That's not even the point—" Danny huffs, tuning back involuntarily to the conversation when Dick shoots up, pulling Jason into a stand and hugging his little brother's face to his chest as if to console a child.

It's very awkward, considering Jason is almost twice as thick as Dick, and taller by 3 inches.

"Jason has done some questionable things—but he's an angel!" Dick wails, "Misguided!"

"My baby brother is traumatized!" Danny gets yanked into Jazz's lap, a feat much easier in comparison when Jazz is the one who inherited all of Dad's bulk. Danny took after Mom, but at least he's got the booty.

"He's a little rough around the edges," Dick continues, almost over Jazz, "But he's my baby boy!

"I raised Danny with my own two hands!" Jazz practically screeches. Danny has never seen Jazz this disturbed. He also feels like his face is going to burn right off as Jazz coddles him like a babe in her lap.

Sue him, he loves his sister. He hasn't seen her in three months!

In contrast, Jason doesn't look like he's faring any better. He's actively fighting Dick, punching and kicking and looking like he might even pull out one of the guns he's hidden all over the apartment.

It doesn't seem to phase Dick, dodging this way and that, still managing to cling to Jason.

What follows is a rapid back and forth—Jason and Dick tussling all the while, as Jazz smothers a willing Danny on the couch.

"He decapitated either crime lords bUT HE GOT BETTER!" Jason trips Dick, who smoothly lands onto the coffee table, sitting and leaning closer towards Jazz.

"He committed war crimes in an alternate timeline, but he had a good reason!" Danny wriggles a little, happy that breathing is optional to him, and uses intangibility to slip out the back of the couch.

"It was for the greater good!" Jason and Danny meet each other behind the couch, breathing heavy, gripping each other's hands.

"He lost everything!" A peek over the couch reveals their older siblings are in each other's faces now, yelling.

"They kind of deserved it anyway!" Dick says at the same time Jazz yells, "He's nOT THAT MAN ANYMORE!"

"Should we be concerned?" Danny whispers, "Is this foreplay?"

Jason visibly shivers. "I sure damn hope not, what the fuck—"

Mechanic! Val AU Extras!

I decided to create a whole new post for the extras, apart from the main story. Sorry If the reblog confused anyone!

But hey, i finally got the inspiration to write this scene out!

It's really bad and rushed because I JUST finished it, but its done and i am not changing it. <3

Also on AO3 :)

===

Jason has a plan.

He fidgets with the box of chocolates in his hands, waiting for the door to open. Danny had said he understood, in his texts, had reacted positively to Jason asking to see him, to celebrate Danny's move.

But text can only go so far, and the subtext is actively trying to murder Jason via anxiety and guilt.

Jason's not 100% sure, basically, that Danny knows Jason likes him. The misunderstanding was cleared, but the uncertainty has not.

Jason had a plan, a big one. He was going to take Danny, just the two of them, to the Gotham Observatory to celebrate the move. He was going to lead Danny through the exhibits that he had researched thoroughly before hand, and then take him to dinner at this little hole in the wall Italian place, with the perfect mood lighting and atmosphere for a cozy little dish of spaghetti. Maybe joke about Lady and the Tramp, tell Danny he's pretty.

He was going to ask Danny to be his boyfriend, cuddled up together in the ambient candle lights in his best leather jacket and a little moon rock pendant, to the moon and back and all that. It was going to be perfect, it was going to be good.

And then, maybe, in the far off future Jason could…could let Danny in. Let him know he knows about Phantom, despite Steph's doubts. Slowly start teasing Danny about Red Hood and Jason Todd being on his Hall Pass list.

But then Talia had snitched on Timbers, taunted Jason about how his little replacement was so very hard to catch before throwing a knife at his head.

And then the misunderstanding happened, and Val with the Red Hood reveal, and—

And Jason had a plan, but the plan went to shit.

But Jason is a Bat, against all fucking odds, and so he pivoted, adjusted, re-calibrated the entire time he was working on that stupid Mazda.

The new plan is sound. The new plan is a little slapshot, but it works, and Jason has been practicing his heartfelt apology and subsequent love confession for the last two hours.

The door opens, Danny looking worse for wear. He looks sad, downtrodden, and hurt. Eye red-rimmed and skin a pallor that insomniacs love to don, lips chapped and bitten to all hell. His hair is all over the place, and his voice creaks and cracks when it asks who is it? before the door is even fully open, and Jason thinks he'll have to tell Danny not to do that in Gotham, to check before opening the door because it's not safe and—

And Danny is the most beautiful thing he's ever seen, eyes widening upon seeing him, looking flustered and embarrassed to be seen in "such a state."

Jason practiced, he reminds himself, for two hours.

The door opens, and Jason opens his mouth before Danny can even greet him.

"I'm Red Hood!" His voice squeaks at a pitch it's never squeaked before, "I'm Red Hood, you're Phantom, and I'm desperately hoping you understand that I'm an idiot and I was being chased by three ninja assassins and had bloody gloves and couldn't text properly."

Danny is speechless, Jason can see this by the way his mouth flaps open and shut but no sound comes out. Jason is about to crawl out of his own fucking skin. He doesn't remember what his speech was before. He pivots.

"I know I should have waited," He continues, and despite all the training he's so panicked he possibly can't even see anymore, "But I don't like making you wait if I can help it because I'm kind of desperately in love with you?"

There's a long silence.

"Was that a question?" A different voice calls out from behind Danny. Tucker, he thinks.

"No!" Fuck, his face is burning. He looks Danny in the eyes, tries to convey confidence. "I am desperately in love with you."

He stands there, just for a moment, before remembering the chocolates and shoving them gentle into Danny's chest, who takes it with a startled blink. "I got you chocolates. To say sorry, and that I like you."

Danny looks down on at the box, a novelty thing. They're fancy, high quality, shaped into the different moons of Jupiter. Jason had them custom made for the Observatory date.

"I—" Danny pauses, still seeming to process things as he stares at the chocolates in his hand, using his other hand to try and pat down his hair. He's beautiful, and Jason hates that he made him feel any type of negative feelings at all.

"It's okay," Danny finally settles on, smiling softly at him. Jason's insides feel like molten lava. "It was just a misunderstanding."

"Yeah," Jason smiles helplessly back, "But it still hurt you."

Before Danny can say anything to that, he's yanked back into the apartment. Jason reaches out, instinctively, before catching himself.

Sam stands in the doorway with her arms crossed and a scowl that could curdle milk.

Jason swallows dry spit.

"You did hurt him." Sam's voice is so low Jason could scoop it off the floor, "And Danny might forgive you, and Val might have let you off easy, but I don't like it when people hurt my friends."

Behind her, Jason can see Danny being dragged away by Tucker, who gives him a two fingered salute and a wink.

Well. Fuck.

Jason's got a long time to grovel before he can see Danny again, he can tell.

Jason takes a deep breath. It'll be worth it.

Because when all is said and done, he's gonna ask Danny to be his boyfriend.

By the way Danny blows him an apologetic kiss, he's fairly confident they'll be fine.

He catches the kiss and puts it in his pocket, ignoring Sam's rolling eyes, and prepares himself.

Jason, after all, has a plan.

[noyzinerd]

Sterek Rival Lawyers AU

It's A (Court) Date

Imagine, high-class, Ivy League, hot-shot, attorney Derek comes back from New York to the family firm to take over as partners with his sister after his parents decide to step down. He may not be on the level of his mother yet, but he's cut his teeth against Wall Street wolves and ruthless white-collar sharks. Derek's more than proved himself, so he just can't fathom these small criminal court cases his family is making him take "before he's truly ready" to be a part of the family business.

Enter in his first case. Right out the gate, the state assigned defense is, not only late to court, but also arrives in a flurry of limbs and papers, tripping all over himself, and profusely apologizing to the room as a whole. "Sorry! Sorry! Car trouble!"

The guy is out of breath, tie crooked and hair a mess. It makes Derek wrinkle his nose at the unprofessionalism and the blatant disrespect to everyone's valuable time.

The presiding judge, the Honorable Ms. Lydia Martin, only sighs a heavy sigh, as if this sight is nothing new, and says "Mr. Stilinski, I suggest you don't let it happen again."

Derek is honestly getting annoyed by how easy this is going to be. He could've been doing literally anything else right about now rather than being here going against a common rent-a-lawyer with some Podunk community-college degree. The opening statement for the defense is laughably inept. Full of nervous stuttering, backtracking, running tangents, and babbling. He's still apologizing, trying to assure the jury that he's just having an off-day today.

It's embarrassing to watch.

Nonetheless, Derek goes through the motions, practiced and poised. Examines all the evidence, presenting times and dates, prior arrest records, the works.

During this time, Mr. Stilinski is frantically (and VERY LOUDLY) flitting through a cartoonishly large stack of papers and whispering to his client. Derek has to fight to grit his teeth through his presentation.

Finally, it's time for Mr. Stilinski to cross-examine Derek's client and, unbeknownst to him, the beginning of Derek's long, long spiral of madness for the rest of his career.

"Judge Martin, I would like to move to have this case thrown out."

"Oh?" asks Judge Martin. For some reason, there's an amused smirk, almost fond, tugging at her lips "On what grounds?"

A giddy, almost manic, grin takes over the defense attorney's face just then. "On the grounds that the prosecution's client is full of bullshit."

The judge rolls her eyes and an exasperated "Stiles," slips from her lips, seemingly against her will. (Derek's not really surprised by the familiarity between the two of them. With how often state-assigned lawyers are called to the courtroom on small cases, it wouldn't be too big of a leap to suggest they might be chummy.)

"Respectfully, of course." Mr. Stilinski--er Stiles?--winks back at her.

"Objection. Your honor, this is ridiculous."

"Overruled. Make your point, Stilinski."

"Mr. Davis says he saw my client at 12:30 P.M., on August 4th, attempting to take his back-right hubcap outside his apartment. Mr. Davis' apartment complex at that time, on that particular day, would have cast a huge shadow over the back lot as evidenced by the gaudy sundial-art-installation outside the courthouse. Meanwhile, my client's picture, when taken in for questioning, has a sunburn on the entire right side of his face. This would corroborate Mr. Lyle's story of walking home alone, down the upper, unshaded side of Elmore Street, during one of the hottest days of the year, for an hour straight. Also, the fact that Mr. Davis has no realistic idea how long it would actually take a person to steal a hubcap should be evidence enough."

"Uh-huh. And this wouldn't happen to be something you've ever had any expertise in, would it, counsel?"

"I plead the 5th."

And just like that, Derek's case is thrown out so quick, he's still reeling about it all the way home.

For the next two years, this becomes Derek's life. This man, this Stiles Stilinski, keeps showing up like a whirlwind and absolutely puts him in his paces.

Stiles, as he insists Derek call him, is a powerhouse. Relentless and unstoppable. That mouth can filibuster for literal hours (which, for those unfamiliar, is when someone legally cannot be forced to give up their time on the floor as long as they can keep talking), that brain quick as a whip, with a hunger for research, a mastery of the English language svelte enough to trip up even the most well-rehearsed lie, and an attention to detail like nothing Derek has ever witnessed before. It's like he knows every law inside and out. Lives it. Breathes it. It's like he had been raised on the law his whole life. Not only that, it's like Stiles enjoys it. Every case is a new game to get excited about.

All of it makes Derek's blood boil.

However, it's not always about losing to Stiles all the time, because, honestly, that might be less humiliating.

In truth, when faced against Stiles, Derek's bound to win about 60% of the time. Out of that 60%, only 5% of those wins actually feel earned. As for the other 55%?

He knows Stiles is letting him win.

Derek can't prove it, but he knows the asshole is holding back on purpose nearly half the time. Knowing that Stiles could have beaten him if he wanted to, but didn't, is somehow more frustrating than just losing.

He hates Stiles.

He hates that the guy is so chipper and playful all the damn time. He hates that Stiles could probably work at any firm he wanted, could make enough money to get a decent car that doesn't shit out all the time, could buy a proper-fitting suit, but instead CHOOSES to stay here "watching out for the little guy", as he so put it.

He hates that facing Stiles in court is the most challenged, the most motivated he's ever felt in his entire life. He hates that Stiles brings out in him the spark of passion and drive Derek had long thought had died. He hates that Stiles always tries to banter with him during recess or whenever they have to exchange evidence.

He hates finding out that Stiles only loses cases on purpose when his endless amounts of research points to the defendant actually being guilty of horrendous crimes, because Stiles is a good fucking person.

He hates Stiles' constant teasing and he hates that Stiles is somehow able to bring Derek down to his childish level to tease back. He hates how much he looks forward to court-dates with Stiles now. He hates being invited out by Stiles over and over to grab a bite together after a long day, as if Stiles hasn't been wiping the floor with him on this case for the last month. He hates it even more that he always accepts and that now they have their own designated booth at the diner across the street. Derek's so unbelievably frustrated, it makes him want to bite Stiles at the neck just to hear that smartass mouth squeal.

"Hey, I ever tell you I was thinking of quitting before you arrived?" Stiles asks one night as they're walking to their cars.

Derek's head immediately snaps to him at that. "What?"

Stiles smiles distantly at the thought. "Oh, yeah. Things had started feeling like being trapped in a cubicle, y'know? There wasn't any challenge in it anymore."

"What made you stay?"

"Well...you did. You were the first, serious competition I'd faced in a while. It wasn't a matter of winning just to win, anymore. Going against you always reminded me of the reason why it was important for me to win. It gave me stakes, because now there was an actual chance I could lose and an innocent person could go to jail. You, I don't know, kinda reignited my passion for fighting the good fight, I guess."

Derek can feel his heart thumping hard in his chest. He wants to say 'You did the same for me!' He wants to tell Stiles that he didn't think his life could ever be this fun or happy or messy or chaotic or exhilarating or challenging or fulfilling before coming to Beacon Hills.

But just as Derek goes to open his mouth to sing Stiles' praises, he instead finds himself roughly shoving him up against the Camaro and biting hungrily at that mouth and tongue that's been the bane of his existence. There's a surprised little squeak that Derek quickly swallows up, but it isn't long before they're both tearing at each others' clothes and fucking each other dirty in the backseat of Derek's car.

What's crazy is, after they get together, nothing in their careers really changes. The only difference is now they get to fuck each others' brains out after an intense battle in court (and the sound Stiles makes when Derek bites him is exactly what he always imagined it would sound like). They still face against each other on opposite sides in court. They still give it everything they got, no conceding even if they are dating now. Not to mention, Derek wouldn't dream of tempting Stiles over to his firm. Not when he knows Stiles is at his best staying where he's at.

The day Derek's family finally decides it's time for him to take over the firm with Laura is the best day of his and Stiles' lives.

Not only does Derek tell them he's declining, he hires Stiles as his attorney to negotiate terms against his entire family of well-seasoned lawyers.

The entire month-long negotiation results in Derek, not saying a single word, but absolutely beaming as he watches his boyfriend run circles around his mother, his father, his uncle, and both of his sisters on contracts. It's so unbelievably hot, they're banging on whatever flat surface they can get their hands on every time they leave the boardroom. There's even one very memorable blowjob in the empty hall outside the boardroom when Stiles somehow manages to get Peter to agree to a (most likely illegal) clause dictating the firm will pay Stiles a finder's fee for any pro-bono case Stiles takes on outside of Beacon Hills that strikes his fancy.

And, no one says it, but they all know Derek definitely, 100%, dragged his own firm through this negotiation just to show off how incredible Stiles is to his family and preen about it.

--

Fast-forward, Derek is going to be in the audience for the first time for one of Stiles' cases.

While waiting in the hall, Derek sees a familiar face from his New York days. The prosecution has hired the eighth best lawyer money can get, Jackson Whittemore. He's sporting a Rolex, sunglasses indoors, and the face of someone who thinks he's above literally every other person in town.

Well, at least until he sees Derek.

For some reason, Jackson seems to think Derek is all the way out in the middle of nowhere to 'watch a master at work' (which...well...is technically true...).

As Derek goes to sit in the audience, Jackson tells him in passing, "This'll be over so fast, probably won't even get a chance to learn the other guy's name."

Derek chuckles and says back, "Ooh, buddy, you have no idea."

Before Jackson can think more on that, a whirlwind of limbs and papers suddenly hurls through the doors.

Derek sits back, gets comfy, and waits eagerly for the show to begin.

My first moodboard. Hope you enjoy. AU based on a discussion with @casually-eat-my-soul (I suggest checking out their version). This was kind of like a divergence from that (the brain juices just started flowing).

[crustycrackhead]

*Throws my swampcat brain rot at y’all*

Swampcat MorningKrem (Morning Frost x Kremy Lecroux)

I’m in literal rare pair hell man, no one understands me nor my freak. I’m gonna be the crazy one that draws them like crazy (draws them only once)

Clean Freak 4 Clean Freak, they both particular and shit okay?!?? SIGH, they would prolly even hold hands but to me… they can be silly (do taxes togther)

[haneentifosa005]

Charles has the opportunity to do the funniest thing

[fumifooms]

"Marchil? I guess I can see it on Chilchuck’s end, but what about Marcille’s? What makes you think she could develop feelings for him?" I’m glad you asked!

The first thing to note is that she does think highly of him

In the page on the right, literally defending his virtues and literally comparing him to Dalclan. And oh…

She does love a brooding mysterious guy who closes himself to love. But surely, Chilchuck isn’t her type at all, right? He’s not princely or knightly at all. In apperances certainly not, both looks wise and demeanor wise, but then that’s why she seeks to know him on a deeper level, to not only look shallowly.

And hmm. Chilchuck really is quite selfless isn’t he? Always looking out for others, and saving specifically her often, always making sure himself and, staying in or even running towards danger for her sometimes. Modesty is often considered heroic…

And can we talk about that drowning one… You can definitely frame the special attention as him knowing she tends to hesitate or be clumsy, and then his insistance on pulling her out of danger that she’s the healer aka the most important to keep alive, but. From the one who says that he just keeps his ass out of fights and won’t help this is a lot of risk to take, and he does die trying to pull her to safety in the dungeon rabbits chapter. And the drowning bit??? That’s when the dungeon collapses. The only reason they DON’T die of drowning here is that the water then gives way to outside. There was NO hope of pulling her to safety here and resurrections would likely not work either, he truly preferred to die with her than try to survive himself.

Sit your ass back DOWN you are in no state, self-sacrifical hero much damn

And Marcille definitely noticed this imo, after all she loves learning all she can about him, remembering things like how he hates waiting on people too. She pays attention to him and what he does and what he says. This to say that it’s notable, whatever reason for it you may think (though we know by this point at least she was already aware he was an adult though it wasn’t internalized), out of everyone it’s Chilchuck’s bed that she wants to sleep in during the Golden Kingdom stay. He’s safe and comforting to her: dependable, the defining trait in her view of him as is shown by the relationship chart in the Adventurer’s Bible.

^ Lending handkerchiefs is a romance trope btw and handkerchiefs have irl history of being used for courting. Especially in old English literature and plays like Shakespeare’s Othello, and personally I do see a lot of Shakespeare in Dalclan (nobility political drama with some romance). There’s how his cowl is a dearly beloved souvenir from his family too, there’s a lot of aesthetic tropes you can apply to him.

All this to say you can 100% romanticize Chilchuck into a princely noble guy if you try and that’s exactly what Marcille does with the wife roleplay. She doesn’t need much in the first place, she latches onto crumbs and makes aesthetic narratives out of details, give her an inch she’ll take a mile.

But what’s interesting about the shift throughout the arc of her and his relationship is that she starts out idealizing him into a little angel of a kid (shapeshifter), and she ends it idealizing him as a virtuous husband and family man instead.

And what’s doubly interesting is that in the former, she’s actively warping who he is personality and demeanor wise to fit the aesthetic, he doesn’t have that bitter pride of not asking for help and the edges have been smoothened. But what she does during the wife roleplay is something else, she acknowledges the flaws and just… Accepts them, rolls with them. She’s aware of his flaws and implements them into the narrative, but the reason why his wife left doesn’t capitalize on them even, rather Chil is chilblivious and his wife loves him very much still, she’s just testing him after having had a night of feeling out of place at his side.

And this is what separates the idealization vs romanticization, she’s not twisting him into someone else she’s just uplifting what he is and focusing on the good sides.

Marcille: "he has a shitty personality sometimes but if he was my husband I’d still cherish him" "If I were your wife I’d be overjoyed to go out with you and would get myself prettied up while you complain about me taking a long time, your friends would tell me that I’m nice and that’d make me happy, but I’d also be sad because you wouldn’t tell me that you love me enough"

He’s angry and his wife left him, he’s *flawed*, but he’s still worth hyping up, still worth having his own romance story, still has a shot of winning back his beloved. She sees him for what he is, human and real and not a carefully scripted character that fits an aesthetic, and she thinks it’s still worthy of love and admiration and fighting for

And what’s funny too is that you might expect her to cool down on him once she learns more about him but actually she only gets increasingly into his business. You tell her your age and next thing you know you promise to introduce her to your family. Give her an inch she takes a mile. And too the thing is, Senshi is equally mysterious but she doesn’t pester him like at all, asks him ONCE about his succubus and he doesn’t even answer and that’s like… It. With Chilchuck it starts off innocently enough with her wanting to know his age, hometown, the stuff she mentions having asked pre-canon. But it just keeps and keeps going and escalating. Think she’ll be satisfied now knowing you have a wife and kids, maybe she’s disillusioned now? Wrong! She wants to know their names and ages and occupations and hey how did you propose to your wife? Do you think she’ll stop after meeting them? What’s next? What will she want to know next????

She’s… Like it’s not a reach that Marcille is all over him. Like it doesn’t mean it’s romantic but she just is. She is not normal about him idk. Can you not ask him about what tongue technique he used when first kissing his wife, give the man breathing room

Marcille could literally go "if I was Chilchuck’s wife" having deeply pondered and thought out the hypothetical and people would still ask where anyone sees any romantic potential between them. Oh wait

There’s a platonic explanation for everything (almost?) in Dungeon Meshi don’t say I’m saying otherwise, but it’s definitely not like there’s nothing here to read into lol

Going off a bit more under read bc it’s my fave topic

Marcille has a whole theme with the charming prince trope with her idealization and storybook motif and Chil is kinda the "Well someone perfect like that isn’t very realistic and romance is usually more complex and that’s ok and good and flawed people can still be ✨virtuous✨" catalyst

Do you see do you see she starts canon thinking the most romantic thing is a prince charming but her arc in the end has her romanticizing an average, flawed, real and realistic family man, who’s on the poorer side and is on the verge of divorce. And that’s what he needed, too, seeing the positive of himself and the situation instead of focusing on the negative is explicitly what inspires him to hope that he might be able to reconcile with his wife, gives him the courage and self-esteem to shoot his shot.

He IS a prince figure instead that now it’s not about idealizing the grand and overt it’s about romanticizing the small things in real life!! About finding joy and beauty in things that seem normal or mundane and uplifting them to make the world feel kinder!!!!

He’s the devoted virtuous man that she wantsss not the storybook prince that’s unrealistic and could crumble like a script at any time. He’s the perfect example of a flawed realistic but virtuous & devoted & loving man. Far from a prince charming, but not fully detached from it either. Something worth fighting for despite the flawed cracks. Like literally, flawed romance being worth fighting for is literally the finale of Chilchuck and Marcille’s arc on the matter, where their separate arcs and issues intersect at the most crucial moment.

Marcille is important to Chil’s arc not only because of her optimism, but also because of her interest and knowledge in romance & matters of the heart, and that’s what he needs to both open his heart up to hope and to try to reconcile with his wife, like idk sounds gay

Their arc together is literally learning to 1) see each other for how they are and not undermining their qualities capacities etc etc while still not leaving flaws unchecked either and 2) opening up to people. Marcille LITERALLY makes Chil open his heart up to hope like idk man. What do you want from me. He’s literally the guy helping her through deconstructing novels and fantasy and rose tinted glasses and like. Deconstructing the prince charming figure into something more real but still romantically beautiful like KUI KUI STOOOOP STOP I’M ALREADY HOOKED I’M ALREADY-

 Ok fine that’s me reading into the tropes too much forgive me for being storybook brained but like. Speaking his heart out to a lone woman on a balcony, Romeo and Juliette shit, asking if she, too, doesn’t want to meet his family, madly blushing. And like she’s learned with Chilchuck it’s all in the little things, all the implications he cannot speak aloud. She does reciprocate, does blush madly back, and the first thing she does is shower him in flowers and jewelry and what in her heart is coded as romantic gifts

A lady, stashed away in a high tower by her lonesome, waiting for someone to call out to her from below… Romeo courting type shit with an offer, a heartfelt spiel, implicit confession from underneath her balcony. Offering him flowers because he succeeded in calling out to her heart…….. And they have to climb to her too…. Crazy

Doesn’t it sound like a proposal. One that’s both so storybook-like and not, contrastedly real and grounded, all about the implications rather than in your face grand gestures, "Don’t you want to meet my family?". They literally have an arc about the topic of romance and this is the climax/pinnacle of it like god?? This is @ the woman who said "Chilchuck is a shy/bashful man so I know he wouldn’t tell me he loves me, but…" btw

To quote a friend, truly the shiny secret unlockable dating sim capture target : THE DUNGEON LORD BIT WAS SO FUNNY BECAUSE HE KNEW SHE'D TAKE IT HOOK LINE AND SINKER HES THE ONE WHO GOT HER TO TURN AROUND COMPLETELY SHES LIKE. WIDE EYED FLAG RAISED???? FLAG RAISED WITH CHILCHUCK 👀👀👀‼️👀👀‼️👀

And the way that this is the culmination of their arc together… Like people are not ready for the ‘Chil calling out to dunlord Marcille on the balcony has Romeo and Juliette romance novels imagery’ take. Or the ‘their arc is about growing to see beauty even in the non-idealized, in the flawed and in the real’ take which makes it so so perfect if she were to lower her ideal from a charming elven prince to a virtuous halfling man (which she does end up romanticizing)

So there, you got to witness in real time what happens when I think about marchil for longer than 2 minutes, there are so many layers it’s a deranged rabbithole. I saw the necronomicon of subtext and it’s driving me to madness with forbidden knowledge that no one else sees

……. Like what if I told you she implicitly picked Chilchuck over a "unrealistic prince charming who’s actually disingenuous" much earlier in the story already. If she was given the choice to think through going with a guy that seems perfect and chivalrous like her succubus she’d pick Chilchuck over the other actually. If I sound insane rn tune in for my full analysis on them coming this month hopefully thank youu. Interwoven arcs of fantasy vs reality and idealization vs pessimism I love youuu

So now you know the general thesis of my planned analysis about the importance of the prince charming figure in Marcille and Chilchuck’s arc, where she romanticizes things to a sometimes worrying degree or idealize people into something easy and digestible and poetic (like Chil being a kid, and then him being a virtuous ✨✨✨husband), and how she needs to value aesthetics less and actual acts and facts more, be more grounded (like seeing people for what they are flaws and all, and accepting that people need money and not pulling through on principles of honor or unity shouldn’t get Namari shamed) and a part of that is accepting that Chilchuck is BOTH flawed and virtuous, a loving husband that still has shitty moods and fumbled his marriage so bad etc etc. So it’s like, her image of perfect prince charming that will whisk you away on an ethereal romance -> realistic flawed middle aged dad with personality issues and a failing marriage but he still is worthy of love and having his cute grand romance story and his happy ending. Ik I keep repeating the same point through this but I need it to be burned into everyone’s brains it has its grip on me I can’t do this. They are so special……

[lesbiradshaw]

[yaralulu]

Sjm had the chance to show us that something was happening between vassa and lucien when cassian visited them in acosf but instead we got jurian teasing vassa and lucien literally playing third wheel.Sjm could’ve veryyy easily made it so lucien was the one doing the teasing but she didn’t.She had her shot and she most definitely did not shoot it.Not a single indication of vassien in that scene,just proof of what lucien has been telling us since acofas—vassa and jurian want to smash 🤷.

[sciderman]

You mentioned Hugh and Nicole and sex scene in movie and I am shameless so I RAN to look it up and about coughed up a lung

LET'S TAKE A REAL LONG LOOK AND GUESS WHICH ONE IT LIKELY IS EVERYONE

they fuck canonically in all these movies.

[moonshynecybin]

[marley-manson]

I want mine in my tushy.

[youdontjustgiveup]

[pjharvey-moved]

it’s actually so infuriating to me how much it’s normalized for women who have sex with men to settle for sex that is not enjoyable and how you’re expected to do things you don’t enjoy like blowjobs etc for the other person’s benefit but a majority of straight men see the stuff that most women — regardless of sexual orientation — can actually orgasm from as foreplay and not “real” sex

[dreadfuldevotee]

you want Martha Jones to travel with a different Doctor because you refuse to accept that the issues of her treatment lies in RTD's specific brand of racist writing. I want Martha Jones to travel with a different doctor because I think she deserves to sample all the different flavors of toxic codependency The Doctor has to offer

[tenwhiteandalusians]

so no one was going to tell me if i got literally one episode further tenax drops that he’s the one who saved scorpus from his mom’s pimp AND that he’s intimately familiar with scorpus’ dick when he was younger. guys. guys.

[bodybaghoffman]

Saw climax music? more like i’m about to climax

[braceletofteeth]

Inwoo Failing to Kill Dongsik: The Series

PART 1 - PART 2 - PART 3 - PART 4 - PART 5