#it could also just be a more extended mood swing

[i-love-tubbs-the-cat]

this may be the first time a medication is working well for me. i am taking buspirone for anxiety and as someone w severe anxiety i feel so calm all the time now. curious

[g1rld1ary]

I feel like you’d eat up this idea so much but Camp Counselor James Potter!!

Where its semi frenemies to lovers after James unexpectedly becomes head camp counselor alongside reader, thus forcing them closer as they have to work together. I’d imagine James as a sports/swim instructor who the campers adore and reader as an arts and crafts teacher who James has liked for years since they met at camp (even before they became counselors.)

summer friends - camp counselor!james potter x camp counselor!reader

wc: 2816

cw: swearing, implied fem!r but i don't think any pronouns, alcohol, throwing up (once)

part TWO

first of all thank u so much for the compliment anon i hope i am doing it justice!! i actually love this idea and so there's gonna be more parts because i have so many fun lil camp ideas already HOWEVER we don't rlly have summer camps where I'm from so if u wanna see anything specific (activity/trope etc) please request!!! love u xoxo

It was stinking hot already. The clock in your car was broken so you weren't sure exactly what time it was, but you were sure it was too early to have sweat dripping from your brow. Nine, maybe. Still, nothing could bring down your present mood, not the sweat, not the early morning on a weekend, not even that your Fleetwood Mac CD kept skipping during The Chain. No, you were in the best mood you'd been in in a while and nothing could ruin it.

You were headed back to camp. Your camp. It was your first year as head counselor at the camp you'd grown up in and you were filled to the brim with excitement and drive to make this summer as magical as the ones you had growing up. Pulling into the dirt parking space you sighed contently, glad to be back where you belonged.

It was weird to see the camp almost empty. You'd been a general counselor before so you'd seen the camp without kids, but being one of the first there in the morning was peaceful. You waved cheerfully at one of the cooks who'd been working since you were a kid, laughing as he tried to return the gesture over the boxes he was hustling into the kitchen.

You broke into a jog to catch up with the camp director who you needed to meet with, smiling widely when he greeted you. You made small talk as he led you around the camp, giving directions to some of the staff setting up in between his extended spiel explaining your duties. You really were trying to listen but you couldn't help your eyes darting to each movement in the corner of your vision. The other head counselor should have been here already, and it wasn't like him to be late. Michael was one of the many kids you'd grown up with through summers, and he was just as devoted to camp as you were, so it wasn't surprising he also made head counselor, but it was surprising that he was now late.

"Where's Michael?" You asked when the director took a breath. He turned to look at you, one eyebrow raised slightly.

"Didn't we tell you? Michael had a health scare, he can't work this summer." You could feel your mouth hanging open. The two of you had been talking about this for years, dreaming of becoming the head counselors.

"So who's—"

"Nothing like the fresh air, is there?" Your shoulders tensed just by the timbre of it, you could recognise that voice anywhere.

"Potter," You turned to greet him, ponytail swinging behind you.

"No need for last names, love, I saw your braces phase," James retorts and you huff, rolling your eyes dramatically.

"Yeah, yeah, and I've got pictures of your acne. So you're really my partner this summer?" James didn't bother replying, his cocky grin saying it all. You felt the director's eyes on both of you and refrained from another snip in fear of it undermining your leadership, but still shot James a dead-eyed smile to let him know you weren't done.

You were dismissed to settle in until the other counselors arrived for briefing after a few other business matters (for which both you and James stayed civil and responsible) and all but ran to your car, eager to get the moving in part over with as quick as possible.

After so many years of making camp your home away from home, you'd pretty much nailed the routine of packing and unpacking, and your part of the four-girl cabin was taking shape very nicely if you did say so yourself. You even had time to stick up the photos you'd printed out, which usually took at least a week to happen. You were just wiping the sweat off your face with the hem of your t-shirt when someone cleared their throat. You didn't need to guess who it was.

James was leaning against the doorframe, looking unfairly unperturbed by the heat.

"Sorry your dream boy couldn't be here," He said and you couldn't quite tell if he was joking.

"Michael and I—"

"Relax, I was talking about your real boyfriend, remember?" You paused at his statement, studying your painted fingers intently.

"We broke up," You said quietly, not daring to look at James in fear of him teasing you about it. You consequently missed the flash of curiosity (and maybe relief) that passed across his features.

"Sorry," He said awkwardly, still under the doorframe.

"It's fine. He's a dickhead."

"I could have told you that last summer!" He laughed, then slapped a hand over his mouth as he realised it might have been too far. You managed a small laugh yourself, if only to make him feel better about his misstep.

"Yeah, yeah. Last summer you also thought swallowing gum would fuse your insides together."

"And I stand by that! You should just learn to listen to me," He crowed, eyes sparkling with mischief. You rolled your eyes again, pushing yourself off the bed to reapply your deodorant.

"If I ever start listening to you, take it as a sign I'm losing my marbles," You said, ducking under the arm James had stretched across the doorframe, "Now come on, everyone'll be arriving." You don't stop to see if he's following, marching out of your cabin and toward the dining hall where the counselors would convene. James watched you go for a moment with a soft grin before jogging to catch up and bother you some more.

The dining hall was already buzzing with energy and noise and the campers hadn’t even arrived yet. You smiled as you watched the counselors meet and mingle, some of them being kids you’d grown up with almost your whole life.

“Everything the light touches is our kingdom,” James’ whisper appeared from behind you.

“You are so lame.” You don’t bother looking at him, convinced you knew exactly what face he’d be pulling. “Now make yourself useful and greet everyone.” You might have been a little rude, but it was clear to you that this job wasn’t nearly as important to James as it was to you. Head counselor was something you’d been working towards since you’d started at camp, and you would like to keep the gig through college if James didn’t ruin it for you.

A booming noise silenced the room, and you were surprised to know it came from James. He started off the address for you outlining all the boring housekeeping notices you could recite in your sleep. They were almost exactly the same every year, except for James’ insistence on being the funniest in the room and making jokes after every other statement.

“As you know if you find any contraband in the camper’s belongings report it to the camp director, especially if it’s an illicit substance, as there may be serious discipline. However, if it’s alcohol, slip into into my cabin ‘coz god knows I’ll need a drink after dealing with the kids and this one.” He gestured over to you, receiving a ripple of laughter throughout the room. You grit your teeth, trying not to react and be the bad cop of camp.

“Just so we’re all clear,” You faked a laugh, “None of the campers or counselors will be ingesting or posessing alcohol while at camp. Right guys?” You locked eyes with the camp director, trying to bring him down from the conniption he was on the verge of. It worked, mostly, and you took over from James, shooting him a warning glare as you rushed to finish listing off the timetable for the coming evening and next day as campers arrived.

In his defence though, James wasn’t exactly wrong. Although the camp director could never ever find out for the sake of all your jobs, there was definitely a stash of alcohol that all the counselors contributed to and had access to, though strictly when there was no risk of campers or higher ups finding out. Like tonight. Every year before the campers arrived the counselors held a campfire right out in the forest; far enough away that there was almost no risk of the adult-adults finding them, but close enough that drunk walks back to the cabin weren’t quite impossible.

That brought you to the campfire. You’d been stuck in meetings and doing last minute admin all night and you really needed the break. You could only look at schedules and spreadsheets for so long anyway, add James to the mix and you were going absolutely crazy.

You’d snagged a spot next to Lily, hugging her tight as you reunited.

“I can’t believe you’re stuck with Potter,” She said, taking a sip from some ungodly drink one of the counselors had mixed. You laughed as you pulled away and greeted Remus quickly, taking the can of cider he offered.

“I’m just thanking my lucky stars it wasn’t him three years ago.” You shook your head resolutely, “At least now I’m sure he’s human. I just hate that he’s gonna make me bad cop all summer.” Remus cocked his head in confusion and Lily asked for clarification so you continued.

“You know, James is always the funny one, James is always the chill one. I’m the one who’s gonna have to spoil the fun and enforce the rules.”

“That’s not true though, you might be the one sticking to the rules but you’ve been here just as long. Everyone knows and loves you, and you’ll have just as much fun even if you aren’t quite as go-with-the-flow,” Lily said, a comforting hand resting on your arm.

“Prongs might surprise you,” Remus said, clearly taking a different approach, “I think when it matters he’ll step up to the plate.” You looked at him for a moment, considering his philosophy. You chanced a glance over at James to see him halfway through a game of beer pong — losing badly in fact, and sighed. If he, the head sport and swim counselor, was losing at a game consisting of throwing then he must’ve already been smashed.

He caught your eye at just the wrong (or right) moment and waved you over with such excitement that you excused yourself from the conversation to see what he wanted.

“Sirius needs a teammate,” He said simply, gesturing for you to go over and play. You shook you head furiously.

“So you’re asking the arts and crafts leader? I have zero coordination.”

“Yeah, and? You’re competitive and that’s all that matters. Consider it our head counselor bonding time.” You looked at James for a moment, weighing out the pros and cons in your head. You figured it couldn’t be that bad even if you embarrassed yourself, and you really didn’t want the other counselors to think you had a stick up your arse after getting the position. So, you reciprocated the high five Sirius had offered and got in position.

The game went shit, as could have been assumed. You really didn’t have an ounce of coordination, your throws missing most of the cups. Sirius was better, making your team at least not totally hopeless, but the two of you were no match for the machines that were James and Marlene — though both significantly worsened by their inebriated states. You were providing the trash talk though, which seemed to keep everyone entertained

“Ok new game!” James clapped after you’d downed the last drink, “Sirius, switch with me.”

“What! But I like my partner!” You high-fived Sirius again at his declaration, now sufficiently buzzed from the shitty beer you’d been using.

“Yeah, we’re doing just fine, Potter. Worry about yourself.” It came out a bit louder and more aggressive than you intended, but James didn’t seem to mind — none of you were sober enough to be picking up on the intricacies of human communication. James mimed a stab to his heart dramatically.

“You kill me,” He groaned, leaning on the folding table in despair. You laughed loudly, holding up your hand in the shape of an L to rub it in. After rubbing it in for a moment you conceded, stomping your way to his side of the table, patting Marlene on the shoulder as you swapped places.

“Alright, Potter, let’s get this round over with so I can kick your arse again.” James’ grin was practically blinding as he brightened up, getting ready to play another match. You might’ve been getting a little too competitive, but it was camp and you were drunk, so everyone around the table was matching your energy tenfold.

“Are you actually capable of getting a ball in a cup? You’re genuinely so terrible at this,” James laughed as he said it but you took it personally, shoving him aside.

“Piss off, dickhead. Just because you’re a big shot athlete or whatever.” You must have finally struck a nerve in James as he was quiet for the rest of the game, still much more skilled than you but his energy significantly dampened. Even when you won, he only offered you a weak smile and a pathetic high five. You felt bad for a moment and opened your mouth to apologise, but your inebriated brain was distracted by music playing, running over to Lily to ask her to dance.

You were at the stage of being drunk where everything was perfect. The day’s heat had mellowed out into a dreamy summer night, a soft breeze rustling the leaves above you all as you danced and drank, reuniting after a long year apart.

You might’ve overdone it slightly though, which found you a little ways away from the rest of the party, emptying your stomach into a bush where hopefully none of the campers would stumble across it. Looking past your unfortunate accident you caught a glimpse of a dark shape on the bank of the river. Narrowing your eyes you tried to make out who it was, but settled on getting closer instead. You hesitated when you made it out to be James.

“Hey, Potter. You alright?” You called awkwardly, a little unwilling to get too close.

“Hm?” He looked back at you, voice uncharacteristically quiet. “Yeah, fine.” You sighed. He was clearly upset about something and you couldn’t just end the conversation there, no matter how much you didn’t want to have a DnM with James Potter on night one of camp.

Reluctantly you got closer, taking a seat next to him. You watched the lake for a few minutes, black except for the silver from the moon. It was peaceful when there weren’t so many people around, it was one of your favourite things about camp, just being outside and disconnected from the rest of your life.

James broke the silence first.

“Do you… Are you mad that I’m co-head counselor?” You chanced a glance at him, surprised at the vulnerability in his voice. James wasn’t usually one to get sappy or personal like that, especially not with you.

“No?” You replied, “It wasn’t what I imagined, obviously, but it’s not like I hate you. You’re just mildly infuriating like 80% of the time.” James snorted, and you got the feeling he’d intended to wallow a bit longer. But James was James and he couldn’t stay moody for too long, it wasn’t in his nature.

“I can work with that.” He smiled his blinding grin, and you could have sworn you could see it reflecting off the water.

“We have to be a team though,” You affirmed; now was as good a time as any for you to address it. “I know that your whole bright and lively class clown thing is effortless for you, but I don’t wanna be the bad cop all the time, okay?” James was deep in thought for a second, then a cheeky grin crept onto his features.

“You think I’m bright and lively?”

“Shut up.” You rolled your eyes, but you weren’t sure you weren’t returning his smile. “Come on, let’s get to bed. Neither of us can afford to be hungover when the kids get here.”

You and James wandered back towards the cabins, both hazy and giggly from the lasting drunkenness and the (at least temporary) smoothing over of your tenuous relationship.

PART TWO

[undeadcannibal]

Cod men with an so that has a kink for their gear/uniform *insert evil laugh* like they come home from work and their so is just DROOLINGGG over them like ughhh

Summary: Headcanons for Alejandro, Ghost, and Price with an SO who likes their gear/uniform~

Genre: Headcanons, request(s) Characters featured: Alejandro, Ghost, and Price

Warnings: none!

A/N: Hello hello! Thank you for the request, Anon. Hopefully this suffices because I felt I didn’t do this one enough justice cause I’m getting back into the swing of things, ahhh. Anyway, I hope y’all enjoy! TuT  ( Gif credit: xxx )

Alejandro―

He's the type to immediately notice your affinity for his gear, even if you're the type that tries to suppress your desires 

Specifically, he notices each time your gaze lingers on his form longer than usual. Even more so when he has to stop to adjust or fix a part of his uniform 

At first, he doesn't let you know he's in on your little secret. Although, that doesn't mean he doesn't feed into it whenever he has the chance 

Whenever he's returning home from an extended mission - regardless of whether or not he's exhausted - he'll take his sweet time in removing his gear. Allowing you to soak in the view of each and every intricate piece adorning his body 

With Alejandro's gear, it's difficult for you to pick a favorite piece you enjoy seeing him wear, but he notes that familiar gleam of desire in your eyes whenever he's dealing with straps

Naturally, so he's not losing anything important, they've to be pretty tight to his form. Still, he'll go just a bit tighter than he usually does right before he's through the door

I can also definitely see him as the type to try and impress you by showing off, busting open the tight strap wrapped around his flexing bicep~

Kiss him and tell him all about how much you adore seeing him in his gear and he'll happily put on a show for you in any of his uniforms/sets 

Ghost― 

Much like Alejandro, he notices the lingering looks and extra touches to his gear right away. However, he's much more subtle about indulging you with it 

He doesn't always like to wear his full gear when he's home. I headcanon him as the type to prefer to keep that part of his life separate from his home life for many reasons

However... 

He'll tease you ever so often by wearing one of his more casual skull-decorated masks around the house, maybe even including his skeleton gloves if he's feeling extra

Either way, you best believe he'll casually torture you when wearing them around you. Going out of his way to purposefully ignore any staring or dodging certain touches he knows are just to cop a feel  

Once he thinks you've had enough, he finally indulges you by touching you with his gloved hands wherever you please~ 

Possibly could be talked into bringing a mask of his into the bedroom for you

GOD, GIVE ME MASKED, GLOVED GHOST IN MY BEDROOM AHHH

He won't admit how much he enjoys it like you, but after trying it a few times, I can definitely see him imagining those evenings you spend together each time he sees those gloves and mask  

Price―

Sometimes when he's too tired, he'll get a little lazy when taking off his gear, so occasionally he'll bump into you while still wearing his vest and hat

Though, shortly after noticing the way you become very interested in his gear, he's perking up in no time. Why was he so tired again?  

Much like Alejandro, he delights in giving in to your desires and goes out of his way to leave on certain pieces of his gear/uniform when he's feeling in the mood to be a tease

Adores the way your hands feel tugging on his vest impatiently, or whenever you're pleading for something you need

If you're good, maybe even lets you wear the hat while the two of you fool around

Seeing you wearing it while atop him makes him understand why you like seeing him in his own gear so much

Even more so if you're just wearing his hat~

[cheesus-doodles]

i wonder how izana is like if he had a s/o during the time when he was the black dragon leader

Red Dragonflies Masterlist | Masterlist

‎‎‎

i have actually answered this previously in these Relationship HCs ! and this is also the case in my red dragonflies AU, former gang leader reader is actually Izzy's s/o when he was the black dragon leader - have linked the masterlist up top cough

but because I like to rant, here are some more thoughts about yan black dragon-era Izzy and you, which can apply to both regular reader and gang leader reader!

Izana was probably already very unstable and jealous during his time as the 8th Gen Black Dragon leader, what with the entire situation between Shinichiro constantly talking about Mikey, and learning that the Black Dragon gang would go to said boy instead of him. Combined that with him having found you as an s/o, someone that Izana would see as his, something that he could finally own and keep to himself without having to share (unlike the whole situation with Shinichiro), no doubt that it wouldn't take long for Izana to swing into yandere tendencies, becoming extremely overbearing and overprotective over you.

‎

With you around, there is a very clear difference in Izana's mannerisms and general behavior. Almost a personality flip in fact, it's night and day how he acts in your presence and when you aren't present. After all, there's a certain way that Izana wants you to perceive him as, and then there's everything else - so this white-haired boy would be sure to carefully tailor and adjust how he acts around you to what he knows you like (to a certain degree of course). As long as you don't threaten the status quo, as long as you keep by his side and his side only, your precious Izzy is whoever you want him to be. Loving, kind, doting, he can almost seem to read your mind and predict your moods.

Knows how to make you feel better after a shitty day, knows what to say and what to do to get you falling heads over heels for him over and over. But don't let that fool you into thinking that you were beyond his manipulation, because nope, not a chance. If he even has the slightest doubt that you were drifting away from him, or worse, thinking of leaving him, expect for Izzy to start subtly tearing you down. He wouldn't sound any different from what he usually does, cooing, low, soft murmur, but the things that slip from his mouth; it pokes at your insecurities, stirs the doubts you have about yourself. Yes, you were the most beautiful person he had laid eyes on, but did you think that really extended to everyone? Surely, surely you know that only he can love you like this? You couldn't possibly survive away from his side the way you are, right?

In his mind, Izzy is only doing it because he loved you as much as he did - you were made for him, like he was made for you. He couldn't live without you, so even if he had to hurt you a little, it'll all be worth it. You'll see that it was all for you.

‎‎

Wouldn't be uncommon to see him roaring down streets, both city and mountain ones alike, on his motorbike with you clung to his back and with no specific destination in mind - just likes to spend time with you, brings you anywhere that you want to go. Besides, the delinquents in the city, be they Black Dragons or rival scum, know better than to stare at the two of you. Loves light, airy places, so be prepared to spend a lot of time just hanging out together on rooftops and mountains, somewhere where you can feel the breeze through your hair, where Izzy can get you all to himself. All your attention being on him is the best kind of date.

There's no such thing as privacy, period. He absolutely needs to know everything that happens in your life, and anything less would earn you a full tantrum and fit. Put simply, its either Izana is there, hovering next to you and keeping one violet eye on all your ongoings, and no doubt this baby boy has someone (cough Inupi cough) tagging you from a respectable distance when he isn't free. That is, on top of having unfettered access to everything on your phone; call logs, messages, photos. Nothing is secret from him, why would it be? What do you have to hide from your partner?

You don't go anywhere new without Izzy. Why do you have to? What were you hiding? Your future husband would be happy to take you anywhere you have to go: cafe, the new department store downtown, even festivals. So unless you were trying to hide something from him, why wouldn't you want him to go along? Don't you know how dangerous it is out there? What if you get jumped by a rival gang? Needless to say, keeping presents a secret from this boy isn't a walk in a park.

‎‎

Everything else that Izana doesn't think you would approve of seeing would be done out of your sight. He doesn't like having you see the darker side of your boyfriend, the one that deals with weapons and drugs, the one that beats people, both civilians and his own gang members alike for the mildest of perceived infringements against you. You were too soft, too delicate for that. What if you got scared off? What would he do if you became frightened of him?

Instead, all his rage, all his hatred, he poured into the Black Dragon gang, leading them down darker and darker paths. The entire world was scum as far as he was concerned, trash that he had to beat and flatten into perfection so you didn't have to foul your hands and feet.

Sure Izana couldn't keep Shinichiro to himself as much as he desperately wanted to, the first time he truly found family - the source of a lot of his anger and jealousy. He hated Mikey, and always will, for stealing his older brother. But you were perfection, divinity, and you filled the hole in his heart; you didn't have to see that side of him if you just stuck by his side and returned his love. You were the only thing giving stability to a very fragile Izzy, and god only knows what would happen to him if that stability ever left. Izana would give you the sun and the moon if you wanted them both, all he asked for in return was your loyalty.

[ozzgin]

Ok, could I just say I LOVE how you write for your Baki characters, they're always a treat 🥺✨️

May I request another prehistoric reader, but when they revived her along with Pickle, she just looked so roughed up that she looks like the definition of surviving

What could cause such scars? Well they wouldn't have to wait long since turns out she's like really clumsy, like "nearly losing an eye by tripping on air and onto a metal pole" clumsy

Pickle just has to be by her side every time to catch her before she actually lose something

I love the idea! I can definitely picture it, thank you for the suggestion and the kind words!

Baki Headcanons: Prehistoric! Clumsy Reader

Featuring Pickle and his challengers and one tough looking reader that turns out to be just extremely clumsy.

The men scan your features with a cautious defensiveness. Here you are, standing tall next to Pickle, with a similarly toned body yet peppered with scars and old wounds. Assuming you have the same survival skills as Pickle, what could you have possibly fought to leave you with such extensive damage? The air is tense as they analyze the possibilities. A T.Rex? It was your main source of food. Multiple of them? Entire packs of ancient elite predators? Were you the main hunter of the pack, taking on challenges that left the other humans scurrying away in fear?

It doesn’t take too long for the mystery to solve itself. The first one to pick up on it is Baki, who just happened to be visiting the enclosure. You’re in the middle of a playful scuffle with Pickle when you decide to impress the newcomer with your signature move. You extend one arm and twist your body slightly, as if gaining traction. Pickle can immediately tell what is about to happen and growls at you, but it’s too late. You swing, and the fist lands in your own face. Baki gasps in shock and you blink a few times in order to process the succession of events. Good Lord, you’re just clumsy. Terribly so.

Now, they have to admit, being this dangerous to yourself and making it this far is rather impressive. Whether in a good or a bad way is another story. The major force of reason in your life seems to be Pickle. Whenever possible, he’s there to stop your ungainly displays. He’s lifted you from the ground more times than he could ever care to count. Truth be told, he does enjoy the fact that you’re this dependent on him. Outside of your clumsiness you’re quite capable and he likes to have one area where he can prove himself as a partner to you.

It’s almost like you and Pickle crawled out of a slapstick comedy. The men are nearly temped to fabricate their own scenarios to check whether you come out unscathed. They’d rather not upset Pickle more than necessary, however. And witnessing your lack of coordination first-hand has also awakened a similar worry towards your safety.

Before they know it, they’re stopping mid-conversation to check on whatever shenanigans you’re up to, ready to interfere. Retsu will silently interrupt your failure and pretend nothing has ever happened, sparing your embarrassment. So does Katsumi, after having a good laugh about it. He finds you extremely entertaining and always compliments your gift of getting into trouble.

Jack doesn’t like to make his empathy known. He’ll ‘accidentally’ step in front of you moments before you’re about to crash into a wall. He just so happens to hold the edge of the barrier right before your head collides with it. Move along, there’s nothing to see.

With Baki there's always a 50% chance he'll fail miserably together with you instead. He's about to stop you from tripping and in doing so his chin hits the pavement at the same time as you. Thankfully Pickle has two hands.

Even Yuujirou is forced to comply with the unspoken rule. He’s been told repeatedly of the importance you and Pickle hold from a cultural and scientifically perspective and he doesn’t disagree with it. Depending on his mood he will laugh at your misfortune or arrogantly scold you, but either way he will prevent your injury. He’s also secretly impressed by your durability.

[casasupernovas]

thing is.

the doctor in series 3 is a lot more complex people give him credit for.

when he gets mad at martha at the end of 'smith and jones' it's not because he's offended at her flirting, annoyed at her insinuations, 'how dare she'. no. he's mad because she sussed him out, right down to the blue suit.

in 'smith and jones' the doctor has a clean slate, he has reinvented himself. and this version has no baggage.

this doctor hasn't got a brown suit it's blue, this doctor is flirtaious, romantic, even does the 'honourable' thing of making sure she knows the kiss he will give her means nothing. she won't get attatched that way when he sacrifices himself to draw out the plasmavore.

but this doctor is also a bit callous, he's excited by the thrill and danger, dimissing very real distress from people around him in favour for the facts. he only pulls himself back upon his conversation with martha.

in fact, it's no coincidence the kiss happens after martha commemorates the dead, her old mentor.

the problem is however, martha is too clever, too observant, too confident to completely be won over by this entirely. when he tells her he is the doctor, just the doctor, at first she refuses to call him by this. he has to earn it. sonic screwdriver? lol, got an electric spanner too? she asks if he has help because surely he didn't come to this hospital because he thought something was wrong on his own?

that's why he says stuff like this. he's like why are you poking holes in the illusion. i'm *this* person now, don't take me back to my reality.

but he's not quite done. they both could have died on the moon but she saves his life so, he gets another chance. incomes the reinvented doctor part two. [you can argue the doctor always knew they would make it because martha told him she saw him in a moment that had happened for her but not yet for him.]

so part 2 commences but he's turning it all the way up because he wants her as his companion.

so he's smooth talking her, but even then she's still not letting him get one over on her. "not pompous at all." so better turn it up some more, and he time travels, a 'cheap trick' to impress her more.

until his newly formed version of himself gets a hole poked in once again after martha inadvertantly makes him remember rose. and he clams up, decides it will only be one trip in a pretty aloof, defensive and abrupt way. shuts down any path that could lead to something more, testing to see if she can do the same - "i only go for humans" - she can and away we go. he's racing about the tardis back to semi-normal and they are off.

it's why he's so having mood swings all throughout 'the shakespeare code,' flip flopping between annoyance and dismissal at her questions, she's ruining how it was supposed to go in his head. she wasn't supposed to ask *this* many questions, she was just supposed to be impressed. but she went and reminded me of rose so this can't work now, it's gonna be one trip. but then flipping back to this need to impress and to just fall back into step to how they were, running around and having an adventure. how he's supposed to be.

and he decides i don't want this to end. im extending the trip. but yet again martha pokes another hole - his home. but the doctor holds onto the pretense for as long as he can. he doesn't just say "we can't go to my home and please don't ask me why because it's painful." he just lies. and this pretense now takes on a new form, because it directly references rose with choosing new earth. see, he starts by reminiscing on gallifrey when he describes it to her then chooses someone else to reminisce on. rose. all with little regard to how martha would feel about being used in this way. but unfortunately for the doctor, this takes a dramatic change for the worse as taking martha here directly leads to her abduction.

now, despite martha's olive branch after the death of the face of boe, the doctor still doesn't tell her the truth. until she sits down, and really hones in on his lies and the people of new new york began to sing for the dead. and the doctor looks at martha, the human, listening to the humans commeorate the dead. and tells her the truth. that he lied because he liked it. because he could pretend. pretend that his reality was not true. he was not the last timelord.

intriguingly enough, by the time we get to the lazarus experiment, the doctor seems determined to play out how the story was supposed to go. yet again disregarding martha's feelings. find a new companion. travel for a bit, then bring her home safe and sound. and not one year later. no ties, a nice thanks then goodbye. no heartbreak, no tears. but he comes back. because he doesn't want it to end yet, offers her another trip. and here goes martha again. telling him he needs to be clear in what he wants right now. he's not someone who can just breeze in and out of her life without a second thought. is she his companion or is she a passenger?

and the pretense is over. mostly anyway, and the doctor is at his mlst vulnerable due to the circumstances of '42' and by its end, it's like a refreshed smith and jones.

but now he doesn't feel the need to lie, he's not fully there yet. but he's more comfortable, he doesn't need to pretend.

perhaps too comfortable.

[blueisquitetired]

if emmet in faeU could turn into goop like ingo, what color would he be? (Also- if changlings could be made with shadow, I can’t help but wonder if they could be made of light too?)

Emmet would be a very light silvery! Aaaaaaalmost white but not quite.

You’re on the right track too! Emmet would be made of moonlight- a much softer sort of light then Akari’s holy light!

I’ve actually played around with the idea of a reverse AU quite a bit and might write a fic about it after everything is said and done lol. Lemmie dig out my notes….

Key differences between changeling!Emmet and changeling!Ingo:

-Emmet carries around a lot less inherent angst. He doesn’t think he’s a good person- but he doesn’t really dwell on it. It’s just a fact of life in his eyes

- Emmet takes matching his brother verrrrrry seriously. He spent a good chunk of their early life bemoaning that he couldn’t be exactly like Ingo. Ingo eventually offered the mirroring thing as a compromise that Emmet accepted.

- Emmet swings wildly between- keeping human form up as long as humanly possible and refusing to switch back even if he’s long over extended himself (he wants to match Ingo, it’s unfair he can’t match Ingo all the time), to being in changeling form as much as he possibly can. (So he can be picked up and carried around. When he’s in moods like these Ingo will have to carry him home because he refuses to be human for longer then necessary)

- He likes being carried a lot a lot. Like, changeling!Ingo enjoys it immensely but changeling!Emmet will be a little brat about it and DEMAND to be carried around. Elesa jokes about him being lazy but it’s more about the extended contact

- Another difference is that he likes that he’s changing Ingo…. While also feeling pretty guilty for feeling that way. Ingo assures him that he is in no pain…. but sometimes Emmet worries. He’s not sure what he would do if he actually hurt Ingo.

probably hide under the bed and refuse to come out.

- Probably is a lot stronger at night and weaker during the day- but the darkness of the subway tunnels help shield him from the sun

- how him and Ingo met is also completely different but I’ll save the exact specifics for later. Just know that they get adopted much younger in this AU ;)

[gadriezmannsgirl]

Expecting -P.G

Also known as Gender Reveal (4)!

Summary: You are extending your family

"I would love to give you another kid and give Lena a baby sibling" He smiled

"Are you up for practicing now?" You laugh

"Gotta finish drying these dishes first"

"None of that" Pablo shook his head "That's already done, we gotta give our babygirl the sibling she wants and the boy I'm hoping for"

You couldn't help but remember once more that night of two months ago where Pablo and you decided to try to have another baby. Doing it more than usual, Pablo persuading both of you and his parents to take care of Helena some nights and both of you trying to make zero sound if she was asleep in her room, but you couldn't help it, you and Pablo were also excited to become parents once more.

Your leg was bouncing as you were waiting with him on your bathroom, the test result. You had already done three within the time and all of them had the same result.

"It's time" Pablo said as the timer clicked "You want to?" You nodded standing up and grabbing the stick.

Sighing, you looked at him sadly. "Not pregnant" appeared on the digital screen

He sighed too and grabbed it from you "It's okay" He said "We can keep trying, we are in no rush"

"I want my baby" You said whinning lightly

Ever since he told you that, you couldn't help but think of a baby Pablo, you wanted your babyboy and knowing the fact that Pablo had his little princess but also wanted that boy of his, so badly, so that he could play war with and have "Dad-son" talks about anything made your desire of having him increase

"And you will have it, amor" He kissed your lips sweetly "We had to try several months for Helena, she was hard to get" You smiled softly

"I know" You sighed melting into his arms "I just-" You cut yourself looking straight into his eyes "I don't know why I'm being so pushy about this"

"Talk to me, amor" You sighed shaking your head

"I don't really know, Pabs. I just- I get the feeling we did it, I start craving weird stuffs randomly, I cry about anything these past days and I thought we had it, for that thing" You look at the test in his hands "to say I'm not pregnant and it kinda brings me down. Like... I made myself believe I am four times but I'm not" You laughed shaking your head "I don't know, Pabs. I can't explain it"

"I want it too, amor. I wanna see you with our baby in your beautiful tummy once again, I wanna be able to sing and talk to it, I want Helena to do it too, I want her to see the wonders her mom can do" You smile softly as he kissed your nose "I want to massage your swollen ankles and try to keep up with those mood swings" You laugh this time for real as he leans in to kiss your cheek "It will eventually come, mi amor. We just gotta wait and keep trying" He pulls a stray of your hair behind your ear "Remember what the Doctora said to us when we wanted Helena?"

"Don't stress, take it slow and it'll come" You whisper

"Don't stress, take it slow and it'll come" He nodded "Let's just follow her steps once more, yeah?" You nod feeling better

"You're right" You say moving to grab his chin and plant a kiss on his lips

"¡Mami! ¡Papi! Look what I just did!" Helena's voice sounded around the house as you smiled at each other, Pablo leaned in once more and opened the door for you to step out "¡Mami! ¡Papi!"

"Coming, ladybug!"

Three months have passed from that and you did were trying but taking it slow, you eventually realized that Pablo was right and baby two will come whenever it had to, you stopped, somehow, preassuring yourself into get pregnant at once and just enjoyed the alone time with your husband like you have done your whole time together and your time as a family too.

"¿Amor?" Pablo asked you as you did your after shower routine, you hum letting him know to keep on talking "Are your breast feeling sore?" His question had you stopping your movements

"No, why?"

"They definitely look bigger than before"

"They grew when I gave birth to Helena, amor"

"Well I know that, but they are a bit bigger than before" You touched your breasts and shaked your head

"I'm not feeling anything, Pabs" You smiled "I think you just want to touch them, isn't it?" He laughed shaking his head

"As much as I love to, I'm being serious, nena" You shook your head

"Let's go to sleep, casanova"

It had been two weeks after that little chat when Pablo looked at you confused as you cutted a pickle in half, picked a slice of jam and honey to put it in the pickle

"What?" You asked with your mouth full, he shook his head "I was craving some"

"And all together?" You nod

"Mom, can I have a bit?"

"You don't like pickles"

"I meant a bit of honey, mami" You chuckled

"¡Oh!" You turned to grab some bread and suddenly stopped

"Nena, you're okay?" Pablo's worried voice came to you and soon he was next to you "Are you okay?" He replied as you closed your eyes feeling everything around you spin

"Yeah, I just- everything's spinning"

"Sit down, amor" He said making you sit

"Momma, ¿Estas bien?" You nod still eyes closed

"I'm good, mi vida. I'm just a bit dizzy" You smiled at her

You looked at Pablo once more, who was looking at you with his eyebrows furrowed, you sighed knowing what it mean, we'll talk it later.

"How are you feeling?" He asked as soon as he got inside your shared bedroom after putting Helena to sleep

"Everything's fine, mi amor" You said looking up from your book

"No, not everything's fine. I see you, mi vida. Something's wrong with you" He said "You have body changes, you look more radiant, you have been sleeping more and have weird cravings... Don't you think-?" You shook your head getting what he meant

"No, amor. I'm not"

"Are you sure?" You nod slowly "Do a test" He asked

"Pabs-" He cut you off

"For me, please" He pleaded as you sighed getting up from the bed and going to the bathroom.

You pulled out a test and did your thing, after washing your hands, you got out watching him sit in your bedside, you got behind him and hugged him.

"Three minutes, mi vida" You whispered, he nodded checking his phone

When the phone rang, you got up with Pablo hot on your heels.

"Don't feel bad if it's negative" Pablo said grabbing your hand

"I won't. I'm happy with how we are right now but yes, I'll be happy too if we are pregnant" He smiled and kissed your lips, both of you grabbed the stick and pulled it up

Pregnant.

You, excited, shook your head and felt tears up your eyes, Pablo laughed with his arms around you.

"Bebé" You said holding onto his arms around your waist "We did it! We are pregnant, mi niño" He kissed your cheek and picked you up twirling you both around

"When Helena finds out" He trailed off with a smile

"She's gonna be so happy" You completed feeling Pablo kiss your lips

And indeed, she was.

"OHMYGOD, OHMYGOD, OHMYGOD!" She had repeated jumping around the whole place "I'm having a baby sibling!" She yelled excited, she had left her ice cream cup when Pablo told her the news.

Can you believe it? She had left her ice cream forgotten as she started making up plans on what was she gonna do with her sister or brother, both of you, smiled at each other and looked at her paying attention to every single one of her plans, often making a contribution in her little plans.

Helena was often touching your belly, kissing it and talking to it, following her dad's steps, sometimes you catched her falling asleep there, smiling widely and Pablo watched you two, his heart almost exploding from happiness.

Two months had gone by and you were three months in, your tummy still flat, Pablo had done a doctor's appointment two days after and you learned you were 4 weeks into it when you were trying on how to tell your family. That same week you were hosting, your monthly family get together and decided to still not say anything because you still had not a good way to inform the newest addition to your little family.

You had said to Helena to not say a thing yet, since you were going to make a surprise, she had loved the idea.

"¡Hola!" You said coming outside with Helena, to greet your in-laws, your family and your friends

"You are looking gorgeous, Y/N" Belén said smiling as you blushed

"Thank you, señorita. You are certainly not left behind"

"What about me?" Your mom joked as you hugged her tightly

"You already know it, señorita. I wanna look like you when I get older" You kissed your mom's cheek repeatedly

"I want a hug from my mamá Y/M/N too" Helena asked pulling her hands up to your mother

"Come here, mi cielito" Your mom, smiled pulling her up to her waist

"Y/N, Pablo's being annoying!" Alejandro, his childhood friend yelled as you turned around smiling

"So? You deal with it!" You said winning a round of laughter

You fell into a nice chat, Pablo's dad and yours were in charge to do the grill, you, your mom's (Belén and yours) and Aurora finished the salad and drinks. Helena and Aurora's babygirl, Amanda, were playing around inside the house.

"Let me help you with that, mi vida" Pablo said watching you with the drinks when the door rang

"I'll go then" He nodded pecking your lips

"¡Pedro González!" You exclaimed as he laughed

"Sorry for being late, Y/N Y/L/N Páez" He said laughing and hugging you "Had to drive Fer because his car broke down"

"Don't you worry, cariño. Everything's good, we're in the back"

You walked whilst chatting with him and eventually you both came out where the get together was, Pedro started greeting everyone and called for Helena.

"¡Lena!" He called her as she turned around quickly, her face lighted up. She was a sucker for her uncle/godfather Pepi and uncle/godfather Pepi was a sucker for her

"¡Tio Pepi, tio Pepi!" She ran to him as he lifted her up kissing her cheeks

"How are you?"

"I'm good, tio" She smiled "Guess what?" He nodded telling her to keep going "I'm gonna be a big sister!"

Everyone in the backyard stopped what they were doing and listened to Helena, when she realized she had messed up, she looked at Pablo and then to you, with her big brown eyes a bit sad

"I'm sorry" She said as you shook your head smiling

"Guess it's out now" You said

"We're expecting!" Pablo yelled smiling as everyone got crazy hugging you both

"Momma, I'm sorry" Helena said coming up to you as you lifted her up, enjoying it before you couldn't because of your belly

"It's okay, mi amor" You smiled brushing her wavy hair out of her face, Pablo looked at you both hugging you both, three, better said

"I think this was the greatest way to reveal it, ladybug" Helena smiled

"But still we gotta teach you how to keep secrets better" You said causing Helena to hide in your neck smiling and Pablo to laugh kissing your head

"Yes, we do"

°°° °°° °°° °°°

Taglist: @gaviypedrisbride @stuckinaf4nfiction @elijahslover @azzpenswrld

[darl-ingfics]

Sicktember Day 4: “Great. I Got a Cold for My Birthday.”

Fandom: SHINee

Sickie: Minho, Onew (cold)

Caregiver(s): Onew, Key, Taemin

Word Count: 2,399

Notes: The idea for this came SO fast, but it took me SO LONG to actually write out. SHINee's December birthday bros were too hard to pass up. Also, the little ending piece being in a text-based format just happened, and I had already spent too much time on the first part to want to spend more trying to elaborate/extend the end.

December 9

Minho jolted awake to the sound of knocking at his door. He groaned. Body achy and head foggy and just as congested as when he’d passed out, Minho cursed whoever had forced him back to consciousness. Another knock sounded at the door, and Minho groaned again, louder this time, triggering a fit of coughs that tore at his throat. Breathing hard, his hands sifted through the clutter on the coffee table in front of him, desperate to find a water or abandoned mug or something. Thankfully, there was still one sip left in a plastic bottle on the floor by his head. Swallowing that sip swiftly but carefully to keep himself from coughing again, Minho grimaced as a third, more insistent knock sounded at his door. 

“Shut up,” Minho grumbled to himself as he pushed himself into a sitting position. From there, he vaulted to his feet, arms out to steady himself. The walk to the door felt perilously far. He didn’t bother checking the peep hole, simply unlocking the door and swinging it open. In a shocking twist of events, standing before him were his bandmates. 

Minho blinked. Shook his head. Blinked again. “What are you doing here?”

“Happy Birthday!” Taemin yelled before slipping a party horn in his mouth and emitting the customary shrill sound. Minho flinched at the noise. 

“I thought I canceled our plans today…”

“You did, but we decided that birthdays were uncancellable,” Taemin explained. 

Minho turned his eyes towards the two older members standing behind the maknae. Kibum, the only one wearing a mask, sighed. “Taemin decided birthday plans were uncancelable, and Jinki and I figured you would be upset if he came over by himself.” Taemin bounded happily on the balls of his feet. 

Minho looked back and forth between Jinki and Kibum again. “I refuse to be held responsible if any of you get sick.” 

Jinki shrugged. “We wouldn’t be here if we didn’t accept the risk.”

“Well…” Kibum shifted his weight between his feet. 

“Okay, Taemin and I wouldn’t be here if we didn’t accept the risk. Kibum was peer pressured into this, and cannot be held to such promises.” Jinki rolled his eyes, but the smile on his face never faltered. 

Minho shrugged, waving the group forward as he turned and trudged back to his living room, coughing roughly into his sweatshirt sleeve. Taemin immediately trotted after him, humming a bit to himself as Jinki and Kibum followed. 

“So what are the plans for this party?” Minho asked, settling back onto the couch, this time vertically at least. “Cause I’m not really in the mood for games.” Taemin followed close on his heels, sitting crosslegged on the floor on the far side of the coffee table. Jinki rounded the corner into the kitchen to drop off the bags he’d been carrying, then sat opposite Taemin on the floor. Kibum stayed standing, leaning against the wall as far from the couch as he could get without getting called out for being antisocial. He was also the only one who didn’t try to hide the way his eyes scanned the room, taking stock of the sorry state of Minho’s normally pristine living room. Minho tried to not let that bother him. 

“Well, we brought cake and some movies, so we figured we could do that?” Taemin suggested, pulling a few DVD cases out of his bag. “And Kibum said he would make dinner?” 

“As an excuse to be away from me, I get it.”

“Hey! It’s good enough that I’m here, okay?” Kibum snapped, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Your reluctant presence is the only thing I wanted for my birthday this year,” Minho stated dryly. 

“Can’t imagine you’d want me more than a bottle of Nyquil.”

“Oh, there are few things in this world I want more than you, and if you come a little closer, I’ll prove it…” Minho puckered his lips over dramatically at Kibum.

The other man scoffed. “Don’t make fun of me!”

“But it’s just so easy…” 

“Okay, okay, I call this a draw.” Jinki jumped to his feet, clapping his hands together. “Taemin, you help Minho pick a movie. Kibum, I’ll help you start dinner.” Taemin nodded as he set about spreading out the DVD cases from earlier, seemingly unbothered by the mess of the coffee table. 

“So we have a large variety,” he began, waving his hands over the cases. “Some wholesome Disney, adventure and action, holiday shit, ironically bad fantasy films… Only thing we don’t have is horror cause that’s not the vibe today.”

“Gee, I can’t imagine why you and Jinki-hyung couldn’t pick a horror movie…”

“Hey! You don’t like the either!” Taemin snapped. Minho laughed. Unfortunately, he laughed a little too hard and ending up bent over, coughing hard. Taemin frowned, leaning forward over the table, unsure what to do to help. “You good?”

“Yeah.” Minho rubbed at his chest. “Drugs are wearing off.” His eyes scanned the coffee table, but now that last bit of water was gone and the only pills he could see was an empty blister pack. “Must’ve left them in the bathroom…”

“I’ll go grab ‘em.” A glass of water appeared in front of Minho’s face, courtesy of Jinki, who disappearing down the hall right after. 

After Minho had drank about half the glass, Taemin popped to his feet. “Hyung, come check out the cake!” He began to reach for Minho’s hands, but thought better of it, simply motioning for Minho to follow him instead. Minho took a shaky breath before following him. 

The cake was cute: a six inch circle covered in a light orange icing. Spots of red, yellow, and white decorated the top, with the words “Happy Birthday Minho!” piped on in a gradient of blues. The sides were a beautiful swirl of the red, yellow, and orange, with flecks of blue. As if the whole thing were a smoldering flame. 

“I suggested the fire, and Kibum came up with the final concept,” Taemin explained, pointing to the little details Minho had already noticed himself. “Jinki agreed to all of it, and paid for it, and picked it up, so it was a group effort.”

“I love it,” Minho whispered, smiling at his friends’ thoughtfulness. 

“Good, cause we also had a momentary freak out that it was too cheesy,” Kibum added, turning away from the stove for a moment. 

Taemin carefully picked up the box and held it out to Minho. “Hold it for a picture?”

“I’m not sure that’s…” He was cut off by a sudden, desperate sneeze that he was luckily able to catch in his sleeve away from his friends. 

Taemin frowned. “Come on, please?!”

“Menace behavior,” Kibum muttered. 

“I don’t wanna drop it!” Minho pleaded, sniffling hard against the urge to sneeze again. 

“Or sneeze on it,” Kibum added.

Minho pointed towards him. “Or that.” 

“You guys are so dramatic!” Taemin pushed the box into Minho’s hands and pulled out his phone. “One picture will not hurt anyone.”

Which was the exact thought process that led to Minho sneezing openly towards the doorway at the exact moment Jinki walked through it. 

“Oh shit!” Taemin gasped. 

“Hell-o…” Jinki’s voice was strangely calm, his body stock still clearly in shock. Minho was also frozen in place, eyes wide and mouth agape. Taemin’s jaw was also dangerously close to the floor. 

Kibum marched over and grabbed the back of Jinki’s shirt, pulling him down the hallway. “I TOLD you! I told you both! Goddammit!” Kibum’s voice grew fainter and fainter until it was cut off by the slam of the bathroom door. 

Minho turned back to Taemin with eyes wide as a deer caught in head lights. They held each other’s gaze for all of three seconds before Taemin snorted and burst out laughing. Minho couldn’t help but laugh himself as he collapsed into the chair across from Taemin. “What is wrong with us?” he gasped, in the throes of hysterics.

“Everything,” Taemin giggled back, wiping a tear away from his eye. 

Minho rested his chin in his hands, staring off at the hallway. “Oh my God. I feel horrible.” 

“Well, you’re sick. That’s normal.”

“Not what I mean, Taemin.” Nothing but a shrug from the younger man. “This is the worst birthday ever.”

“Aw, don’t say that. This has gotta be one the best nights you’ve had this week,” Taemin replied. Minho looked at him, one eyebrow cocked sarcastically. “I mean it. We’re all here, spending time together, laughing together. What’s a birthday without a few shenanigans?”

Minho thankfully didn’t have to respond to that as Jinki walked back into the kitchen. The rapper pushed himself out of his chair and wrapped his arms around the vocalist, burying his face in his shoulder. “Hyung, I’m so sorry!” 

“Babe, I’m gonna need you stop apologizing.” Jinki’s arms squeezed him once before letting Minho go so the elder could look him in the eye. “I told you I accepted the risk. And given the amount of bodily fluids I’ve been drenched in over the years from all of you…” Jinki shook his head. “I really don’t care anymore.”

“You’re just saying that.”

“Cross my heart.” Jinki dragged his thumb in an X across his chest. Minho felt like crying. “I’m just happy it was me and not Kibum.”

Minho smiled as Taemin barked out another laugh. “Oh, that would have been SO much funnier, though.”

“He thinks this is all a bit.” Minho jerked his thumb in Taemin’s direction, rolling his eyes for emphasis. 

The comedic vibe immediately evaporated when Kibum walked into the room, unintentionally commanding everyone’s attention. He made eye contact with each member. “I’m sorry for being dramatic,” he announced. “I think I am overly stressed about other things in my life, and I took that out on you all, and that was not fair. So I apologize.”

“Wow. A Kim Kibum apology. I think that might be the best birthday gift I’ve ever received,” Minho replied. 

Taemin laughed. “And the best birthday gift you’ve ever given Jinki was your cold, right hyung?” He realized what a stupid thing that was to say when Minho immediately burst into tears. Jinki shot the youngest a look over Minho’s shoulder as the rapper collapsed back into his arms. Taemin held up his hands in surrender, mouthing a ‘sorry’ that should not have been as heartfelt as it was. 

“Taemin, you really are a menace, you know that?” Kibum stated, moving closer to the birthday boy, rubbing his back gently. 

“Heyyyyyyy! I didn’t mean it! I thought we were all joking around.” Taemin pushed himself away from the table and threw his arms around all three of his hyungs, creating a group hug. “We were just laughing about it like a minute ago.”

“Yeah, to be fair, the medicine’s definitely worn off,” Minho forced out a laugh as he pushed away from Jinki’s shoulder, scrubbing at his face and sniffling harshly. “I don’t really know why I’m crying. I think my body’s just giving up.”

“Then let’s stop wasting time.” Kibum nodded. “Dinner’s almost done, then we can re-drug you. Taemin? Stop being the worst and go start up the movie.” Taemin whined something about not being the worst, but went and did as he was told. Kibum gave Minho’s back one final pat before returning to the stove. Jinki cupped Minho’s cheek affectionately before taking his hand and leading him back to the couch. 

“I love you,” Minho said as the leader draped a blanket across his lap. He peeked around Jinki at Taemin, and then back to the kitchen at Kibum. “All of you.”

“And we love you,” Jinki replied, kissing the top of Minho’s head before snuggling in next to him, pulling Minho’s head onto his shoulder. “Happy birthday, love.” 

December 14

Minho would openly admit to punching his pillow in frustration when he woke up to the Good news! text from Jinki that was attached to an image of a digital thermometer that read 38.3º. But he didn’t admit it at the moment, instead texting back: 

Minho: Happy birthday??? D:  Kibum: You wanna postpone dinner? Jinki: Please? Minho: I’m SO SORRYYYYYY Jinki: I will accept no apologies  Jinki: and because it is my birthday, you have to listen to me  Kibum: You also got him sick, so that means you have to listen to him EXTRA Minho: 😭 😭 😭 Taemin: THERE WILL BE NO POSTPONEMENT!!!!! Kibum: Reread Jinki’s last message. Please and thank you.  Taemin: 😡 Kibum: ✌️

That had been nearly twelve hours ago. In the intervening time, both Minho and Taemin had separately decided to show up at Jinki’s house at the original time anyway, just as they had done for Minho. Which was how they got the picture of the two of them outside the door of Jinki’s apartment that Taemin sent with the caption: 

Taemin: Better news!!

Kibum still had yet to respond when Taemin sent another photo, this time of Minho and Jinki cuddled on the couch, with a thumbs up from Taemin in the corner. To this one, he added the text: 

Taemin: They won’t let me cuddle 😡 Minho: Cuddles are only for those with the right antibodies 😘 Taemin: The only body I am anti right now it yours  Minho: 😝

At this point, Jinki, who was reading the exchange on Minho’s screen, asked why they were texting if they were in the same room.

“For Kibum’s benefit,” the rapper replied. To which Taemin texted: 

Taemin:  Kibum, you can come over after your schedules if you want!

The speed of Kibum’s reply was genuinely shocking. 

Kibum: I thought we cancelled the plans today.  Minho: Well, I recently learned that birthday plans are ‘uncancelable’ Taemin: Kibum, you can come over after your schedules if you want! Kibum: You already said that, Tae Taemin: Because I MEAN IT!!! Jinki: I won’t get you sick.  Jinki: I’m better than Minho. 

Taemin burst out laughing while Minho pushed a giggling Jinki off his shoulder. But it was a very light push and Jinki was cuddled back against him almost instantly. 

All three of them gasped, then cheered when they received a final text from Kibum:

Kibum: Of course you’re better than Minho, hyung. I’m already on my way. Wouldn’t miss your birthday for the world <3 Minho: Best news!!!

[girlwithwolftatoo]

I have fallen in love with the HC that Pav goes absolutely crazy bananas and a bit scary when someone he loves gets hurt/held hostage/threatened (it’s always the unexpected ones that are secretly unhinged). If you’re up for it, could you do a Pavitr x f!reader where one of those things happens to her and he gets all protective and just absolutely raging mad? Mans deserve to go ballistic at least once

Thanks you’re amazing 😊🫶

Oh gosh my first Spider request!

Pavitr + losing control:

Pavitr's life as Spiderman is usually really chill. Everyday is a new, fresh and easy adventure for him, and of course, enjoys the mystery of having a girlfriend who doesn't know about this...

(Specially because he also likes to flirt with you when you meet him as Spiderman but that's other story)

But one day, a big main villain shows up, probably his universe's own version of Green Goblin who makes a big havoc and... you end up in the middle of it.

Pavitr manages to put everyone safe, but the villain literally takes you out of his arms. This is the last straw, Pavitr will chase them trying to shout calm words for you.

Probably the villain dropped you on purpose,or you were in the middle of crossed fire. Anyways, you're alive, thank heavens*, but when Pavitr approaches, he sees you're very bad injured. A big cut on your forehead, some scratches, and probably other things that may need of medical attention.

"(Y/N)? Can you hear me? (Y/N) answer me please!" Poor Pavitr even forgets his secrecy and calls you by your name. You're weak and dizzy, and can barely keep your eyes open. The villain is still roaming around, thinking they won...

It's like a berserk button. Pavitr's sweet and chill demeanor shifts to pure rage. He swings towards his foe, kicks them, makes them fall tothe ground and begins to punch them in a gross, wild estate nobody could even imagine.

He's so angry he barely notices the punchingretribution of the villain. He may end up also bruised and bleeding but doesn't care. He's ready to leave this dude more battered than red curry (sorry about the joke).

At a certain time, Pavitr probably loses his mask, due to the fight or by pulling it offhimself once the villain is landing fainted on the ground. Just then, he only can stare, shaking violently as the last minutes pass through his mind like a weird film.

"Pavitr?" he hears someone calling him. He lifts his head and... no, this can't be, you're approaching! You, his sweet little flower, not only has discovered his secret, but also witnesssed him losing control. His face goes pale and his eyes widen in pure horror.

"N-no, no! I'm not Pavitr! Who's Pavitr?" he comes back immediately to his goofy mood and tries to put the mask on again. But it's late, now you know... "Please don't" you ask, extending a hand to stop him from hiding. He sighs, embarrased.

"This is not me, (Y/N), this isn't usually me..." he mumbles, about to burst in tears. You don't say anything, you're tired and he's too, you'll have time to talk. But not now. Now, you only sit besides him and put your head ion his shoulder. "Put... put the mask on... people's arriving" you whisper to him.

[firespirited]

So, uh, I had a nervous breakdown - emotional meltdown - mental overload and guilt spiral of sorts that culminated in 5 fully blank* days and nights (*I keep a "times, meds, symptoms and activities" notepad). It's over now as far as I can tell as the cause has stopped, I didn't harm myself beyond some self neglect or cause pain to anyone else. I'm ok, picking up the pieces and determined to get treatment.

Not even sure if those are the correct terms and feel kinda uncomfortable using them like I just "spontaneously broke" as opposed to getting broken down by others but no one here is ready to talk about that so Emotional Breakdown™️ will have to do. Now that I've done a bunch of research and self-examination it was more of a PTSD reaction, a prolonged emotional flashback that I didn't know how to stop and with no outside relief or help.

Long post under cut

I was unfortunately mentally lucid and reacting to very real things but in an emotionally disproportionate way... which was actually not very impressive at all since everything but the sobbing and some talking to myself was happening on the inside, in the foetal position in my pitch black room because who knew? Stress in the neck or face sets off the mega migraines 🙃.

Very uncinematic. Barely an inconvenience to my flatmates. I force-fed myself bread, water and whatever meds might cause withdrawal if discontinued, fed Lily her pain meds at around the same time every night. I'm going to get a good grade in not being a danger to anyone or myself 👍👍👍

I began sedating myself as soon as the urges for inside pain to be visible on the outside got strong enough to actually visualize concrete ideas. Nothing with withdrawal potential: a few months worth of anti allergy meds, M eventually called the doctor once I ran out and had to tap in to my sleep meds, 5 days in to the full-blown meltdown.

Why sedation? I happen (lol no, it's actually pretty related to the ptsd) to be an expert on all things suicide and didn't want those thoughts to even get close to started.

My doctor is stellar, she believed me, didn't act like my grief was unwarranted, prescribed more anti-histamines and kindly but firmly told me to stop blaming myself for other people's choices, we just can't control how other people choose to act. The self loathing had started from a seemingly obvious pattern and spiralled way out of any kind of logic. That grounded me a little on Wednesday.

We talked over my options : the local psych ward is the opposite of restful or safe for migraines; the care homes have waiting lists, especially in summer when people drop off the elders to go on holiday but she's going to try and find me a slot if the current home stability breaks again. Not having any extended family or local friends meant no escape and that didn't help mentally either.

I feel like I've had a really bad flu, I feel very fragile. I feel like things have been very unfair but also not safe enough to indulge any anger about it, not here and now so a sort of numbness has settled in... emotional that is, the migraines are stomping my head and also irritating the bowels because why not add insult to injury? 😂

Mum's violent mood swings were over on Thursday morning and on Friday I decided I had to face life, get back in the saddle before fear could kick in and helped sis go to an appointment that she was very nervous about. Just about managed then crashed the rest of the day.

It felt good to be useful 😊💖and I needed the perspective of there being a whole wide world out there, not just the lovely tumblr folks in my phone 🌸💕🌸 who are close but also unreachable.

Moral of the story, if there is a moral to any of this, … ? Repressing your fears and emotional pain for 30 years will turn you into a sobbing blob with little to no control so don't assume you're handling things because, yes technically you are, until your last tether breaks and then you're just a trauma response at full volume.

Oh and flashbacks don't automatically happen visually or in nightmares like in the movies. I already knew that for me, specific memory flashbacks seem to cause a hollow and weak nauseating feeling like when adrenaline is wearing off but now I know emotional flashbacks are more of a paralysing overwhelming series of waves of many strong feelings. One of the more identifiable red flags among the general mess of emotion for future episodes would probably be irrational and very potent guilt/shame.

So uh yeah, sorry I haven't checked in for over a week or done much of anything, I'll try and catch up as soon as I can 🥰

So now it's beyond confirmed : I have PTSD from stuff that ended over a decade ago, stuff from far older too, you think time heals all but it doesn't heal untreated wounds and I'm going to seek treatment no matter what.

It's mortifying to talk about but if I tell you lovely people, well, I can't run from it any more.

I'm also going to need to set boundaries with some very fragile people but not without the help of an expert, I've been caring for sis and her borderline tendencies for over a year this time around and not been allowed to set limits. Mum's crossed a line she can't even see yet. It could be months before that's a subject we can safely approach.

I have a post in my drafts from last November about finding great happiness in a bare room of a few boxes, a mattress and the internet and how I'd be quite content to live that way again: peace really is worth it. It's like a letter to myself that this was coming and reassurance that I've been happy before despite frightening change and financial poverty.

I have duties to my family and they too have been good to me - there's the expectation that therapy will "toughen me up" to better manage but I can tell from just that disastrous first session with mum present, that boundaries will be part of the deal. That's the most frightening and delicate part. I have been eldest daughter, big sis, selfless friend and good kid™️/parenting kid from my very first memories, any change will be perceived as not being me any more (maybe even to myself), it'll also go against deeply ingrained societal and personal habits.

__________

In other news Lily turned 16, she is happy and healthy. She's been with me for 9 years.

I was hoping to train a new therapy dog as she's been retired for a couple of years and even lined up a sweetheart of a rescue called Vanina. That can't happen yet. Or maybe that's something I need. Idk.

I don't expect any major pivot in the doll hobby, watch habits or Patreon/support to friends at this point but it's all in the air.

Looking forward to getting back to normal and also cherishing (in an odd sort of way, maybe that's not the right word) this moment as a "survived it!!" thing but also "WOW you needed help and it's overdue".

Take care of yourselves lovely people. See you soon.

[inafieldofdaisies]

Last Line Paragraph Tag | Tagged by @socially-awkward-skeleton

Dropping by with a little treat from John's AU where Oliver is grilling the shite out of Leslie. I couldn't bring myself to cut out any of his jokes, so you're getting an extended last line. ❤️

"Coffee run, boys. Anyone want something?", Oliver hollered, stiring up the rest of the detectives that were in at the early hour, "No? Byyyyeee." He sing-songed the rest as he threw on his jacket and Leslie did the same, rushing to leave before both could get wrapped up in actual orders. "Aye, you fuck, I wanted-", Ross' yell was cut off as McKenzie slammed the door to their division shut, whistling to himself on their way to the stairs. "Graham will retaliate, you know that, right?" "I promised Maxie I'd get him a coffee, there's only so much I can carry.", he explained while Leslie followed closely, "Plus, Ross has legs and cheated me out of my poker win last week. So… he can suck it." Parish chuckled, but it felt more forced than anything with his mind still racing with questions, "Weren't you also cheating?" "Beside the point." "Mhm.", he hummed as they hit the ground floor and made their way out the precinct. "You know, my jokes are only good if people are paying attention to them…", Oliver began while the two set on their usual route to a small bakery nearby. "I was listening, it just wasn't funny." The deadpan answer did little to convince him of the lie based on the snort he replied with, "Sure. Repeat it back to me, will ya? Then I can decide if it sounded funny or not."

"Fuck off.", Leslie remarked, pulling his coat closed against the sudden gust of wind that blew in. "That's what I thought.", McKenzie sent him a cocky smirk over his shoulder as they navigated the crowd moving down the street, "What did Rina do this time?" "Nothing." "And you've been looking like I kicked you in the nuts the whole morning over nothing. How long have we known each other to think this would work with me? Hell, I think even Vaughn would pick up on your lie, and he is as oblivious as they come." A groan left Leslie, but deep down he was thankful someone cared enough to notice the mood he was in and try to get him out of it, "I have no idea how we're still friends, you don't ever let up." "Why my ma said I'd make a great detective, and how right she was…" In ways Oliver truly was like a K9 that had caught a perp's scent, refusing to let go until getting an answer, on top of it all he was competitive as hell. The bakery's sign finally came into view, making him wonder if he could actually get away with not providing any details for once. Doubtful. "Well?", McKenzie asked again, swinging the door open and entering the shop first with Leslie close on his heels. "Coffee first." "Fine, but you try to dodge my questions, I'm locking you in the interrogation room until you start singing like a canary. I have all the time and patience in the world." "Buchanan will have your balls." He rolled his eyes as they took their place in line, "Think I care about what old Jerry will do?" Doubtful again.

Parish occupied his time by mindlessly watching the people seated at the tables in the back of the bakery, wishing his heart would skip a beat the same way it did for Sabrina when his gaze was met on accident by a woman sitting on her own. The little smile she gave him only darkened his mood as he forced his eyes back ahead and Oliver's hand landed on his back in silent support. "Jesus. It's bad." "I'm absolutely fine." "Sure, Sabrina. You're picking up all her sad habits.", Oliver grumbled, "Lying you're okay, going through life deep sighing over somebody you can't have for some stupid ass reason." He rattled out an order when their turn came and paid for everything, giving Leslie a much needed break from arguing over the ugly truth. "Just ask her out. You have to start somewhere.", his fellow detective insisted as they set on waiting to the side, "Who cares if she went on a date yesterday? Like, fuck, you sure won't be sending 100 roses to her and panic-calling her over a little bat paying you a friendly visit. You already have an advantage - you know what she likes and what she wants before she even figures it out." "60." "Huh?", McKenzie gave him a dumbfounded look. "60 roses is what Bruce sent." A snort left him at the choice of nickname, "Batman ain't cheap, I'd give him that. Though, I'd argue blowing your hotshot lawyer money on a bouquet is kinda idiotic." "Hotshot?" "Oh, yeah.", Oliver nodded at his raised eyebrow, "I looked him up myself, too. Fucker's a new partner in Atlanta. Has his name on the plaque and everything. I wanted to barf at his fancy photoshoot on their website, haven't seen anyone looking so sure of themselves while holding scales. Lady Justice is shakin'."

"Not making me feel any better about this." "I wasn't trying to.", a playful slap landed on his shoulder, "I'm trying to kick your ass into action. Get your girl. Getting laid will fix you both, I promise." "We've been over this." Thanfully, the woman out front waved Oliver over to pick up his bag, stopping the conversation they've had plenty of times before in its tracks. Or so Leslie thought until he was dragged back into it the moment they were back outside. "Spill, Parish and I don't mean my coffee.", McKenzie instructed him with narrowed eyes as they set towards the precinct and he passed him the takeaway to light up a cigarette, "You can even tell Rina you bought her the croissant. My treat." "We talked like we do every night yesterday…", the storm clouds above them certainly matched his mood, "and she let it slip that she's invited him over because his neighbors were annoying the shit out of him with loud sex." Oliver laughed way too loudly at that, startling a woman walking ahead of them and getting a dark look from her he met with a wink, "Batman wishes he was gettin' some." "I asked her to keep me posted, so I know she and Sav are safe." "Reasonable.", he agreed, "Considering they just met." Leslie sighed, "I expected a text, you know, 'We're all good, he left. Goodnight.' She called me instead… sounded completely off, mind you, I was close to jumping on my bike and driving there." "Don't tell me-" "No! Nothing of sorts."

"Good, because it would suck to get arrested for murdering one of Maxie's case victims." "After dancing around the subject, Rina announced that Bruce is stayin' over." "Uh-oh.", Oliver let out a whistle, "She actually went for it. Damn, I-" "In the guest bedroom.", Parish interjected before he could go on a tangent about Sabrina getting laid. He suspected he'd get an extra detailed version of possible events as punishment. The detective's eyes shone with a devilish gleam at the news, "Poor Batman. But… wait… why the fuck did she call you?" "She wanted me to convince her sleeping with him was a bad idea." The two came to a halt in front of their building, not exactly rushing to go back inside despite the subject. Oliver took a long drag from his cigarette, gaze running over his face before he exhaled some of the smoke and muttered, "And you did just that. Cockblocked him, six ways from Sunday." "No." The rest of the vapor left him at once, making him choke at the confession. "God-fucking-damn.", McKenzie croaked out between coughs as he hit his chest dramatically, "This ain't how I want to die. Especially before seeing you get laid for good." Leslie said nothing and tightened his grip on the bag in his hands, focusing his attention on the street, watching each passing car, instead of meeting what he knew would be his fellow detective's disapproving gaze. "You're an idiot, you know that?" "Thanks."

"It's accepted you look a person in the eye when they speak…", he gritted out, taking another pull of nicotine. "What do you want me to say?" "That you didn't actually encourage her to sleep with him and are now in this shit mood because of it? I'd start with that." "I told her the truth.", Leslie replied flatly, "You saw how she was after their lunch. I don't even want to ask how close they were at it…" "I didn't give them the chance to. For you." He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, skipping over the part where he had mentioned protection, because Oliver wouldn't let him live that one down, "I reminded her it's rare she ever feels so strongly about anyone, that she shouldn't worry about the rules of dating or how soon it is." McKenzie dropped his cigarette on the ground, stomping on it with way too much force before throwing it in the nearest trashcan, "You basically shoved her in his bed, gotcha. How the fuck aren't you day-drinking? I'd be spiking my coffee right now." "Rina didn't say she would. In fact she made it a point to say how he's probably already asleep." Just shut up, Parish. His reply received a humorless laugh, "Oh, definitely. You hearin' yourself?" "Sadly, yes." "Good, because currently I feel like walking into traffic to put myself out of this misery…", Oliver pointed ahead of him and clicked his tongue, "but knowing my luck, the closest I'd get is getting run over by a kid biking to school, scarring us both in the process." "Dramatic." McKenzie blinked slowly, "I'm dead serious. And your phone?"

"My phone?", Parish felt his pockets with his free hand, wondering if he had managed to swipe it with another 'magic trick'. Certainly wasn't uncommon for him to pickpocket for kicks, even their Chief, Buchanan. "Yes. Why were you staring at it like it held the solution to all of our cases, and then some?" He produced the device to Oliver, his screen still on Sabrina's open message that he had reread an embarassing amount of times and tried to convince himself it had nothing to do with her late night guest. "I will be in a little bit later today.", McKenzie read her text that wasn't anything unusual to receive from any of the other detectives in Missing Persons, for Sabrina though, it felt out of character, monumental. Both of them were aware of that. "Leslie 'God-how-much-I-wish-you-had-a-middle-name-right-now-so-I-can-scold-you-like-a-mother-would' Parish.", the first part flew past his lips in record speed, "You got this from her and are still thinking she hadn't followed your advice to grab the handsome egomaniac by his horns?" Leslie hoped his shrug was nonchalant enough, "There could be another explanation. Many, in fact." Based on the 'Are you kidding me' look he received, his partner in crime wasn't buying it, "You sweet summer child."

Tagging, @jillvalentinesday @cassietrn @thesingularityseries @josephseedismyfather @unholymilf @madparadoxum @shellibisshe @shegetsburned @purplehairsecretlair @adelaidedrubman @strafethesesinners @strangefable @onehornedbeast @voidika @direwombat @florbelles @corvosattano @theelderhazelnut @harmonyowl @simplegenius042 @clicheantagonist @euryalex @aceghosts @josephslittledeputy @trench-rot @dumbassdep @wrathfulrook @nightbloodbix @quantum-lover and anyone that would like to share a line or a couple ❤️

[thewhumpcaretaker]

Hihii! I have a little different question, I hope I'm not too weird...

Since I'm working on the sequel for The Other Side Of Paradise that you read and know that it's a/b/o... and you gave me one cute ask on this theme. About how John would take care of mpreg Santino and I loved it because absolutely John is doing anything for him. Do you have any more scenarios for that? When Santino actually tells him that and starts to get those mood swings and cravings. How more moody and needy can Santino get bahaha? I'm just curious on how do you see them and do you think they would actually kinda be scared of becoming parents?

Have a lovely day!! 💙💖

Hiiii!! Thank you for the ask 💝🖤 As usual, you're only as weird as I am, heehee. Thanks for your patience on this one - I had a ton going on during the past couple days.

There's always a new level of moodiness and neediness that can be reached - let's make Santino suffer and then be treated with so much love!

TW: mpreg scenarios

John would actually not be too scared of becoming a parent - he feels like he was made for that and has always wanted a family. He has so much love to give and that would extend to having a child. He'd read fairy tales to the baby while Santino is still pregnant and talk to them about the wonderful they'll have. But he would be scared of what could happen to that kid and what kind of life they'll lead under the High Table. He'd get paranoid over the baby's safety and how they could be used against him in the future, just like Caine's daughter was used against him. I think he'd try to keep the pregnancy a secret as long as possible. And he would worry a lot about how to ensure that this child grows up to have a normal life.

Meanwhile, Santino is the one who'd be very scared of becoming a parent. He'd think about how his own parents treated him and realize that he didn't really have a good role model for parenting. He'd be especially worried that he might lose his temper with the kid, which he doesn't want at all. He would feel so unprepared and have major anxiety about that. Of course, John would constantly reassure him that he'll be a good dad and remind him how sweet he is to Dog already.

Santino would also struggle a lot with how his body would change during the pregnancy. Being more tired, being sore and unable to walk well, feeling sick and having cravings - all of it would make him feel so stressed and out of control. It would take him away from his work, and at first, he'd ignore all of it and try to push through to keep working. But for once, he couldn't ignore his own health without putting the baby at risk too. Normally, he takes out a lot of his anger on himself and he can't do that anymore, which is beautiful in a way but also completely confusing. He'd definitely have a breakdown over that at some point. But after that, he'd start accepting help from John, and would switch from pushing him away to clinging to his side at all times, not even wanting him to leave the room.

John would try to make things easier for him by explaining that this is a time when he needs to focus on staying healthy and relaxing, and that everything will be waiting for him when he comes back. He'd tell him that it's okay to be frustrated and angry with the situation, and would listen any time Santino needs to rant about everything he's missing out on and how scared he feels. And John would be doing everything possible for him - bringing him any food he wants, making sure he doesn't have to walk long distances, making sure he gets to see the best doctors in the world, all of that. He'd give him massages every day and wouldn't want to spend even a second away from him. John would also be insanely physically protective of Santino during this time.

Santino would also try to help John by considering long term changes to make John feel better about whether their lives are headed. He'd pull back from his work with the Camorra and maybe even consider running away or retiring. But that isn't what he wants to do. It makes him question what it means to be successful and whether he can work and have a child at the same time (I might be slightly enjoying the thought of a man having this dilemma, which isn't so common...). It's a lot to think about, and it weighs heavily on both of them. But at least it comes from the fact that they're making a whole new life together!

It's hard to say what they would decide to do. I guess we'll find out in your fic!! I'm very excited!!!

[yunnathearcher]

Back to reality in Warrior II pose, opened eyed in half angel wings. Woke up in the middle of the night just knowing it was still Saturday. Nah. Oh well, new week. New beginnings. “Make people as uncomfortable as they make you.” Okay. Doable. Lunar Monday's.

Early morning talks with you fill me with joy. Hearing your voice expands my day. Work passes in a blur. Heartfelt convos in the iMessages. Afterwards all I wanna do is vibe & rest. Busy week planned, in & out the streets. Showing love and being loved. Doing my thing. Monday night in the in between.

Dreaming fast and sleeping deep. Shadows of monads beneath the screen. Body cool and relaxed against the yoga mat. Early morning gym sessions. Lighting fires, pouring water, saying words. Everything flowing the way it always could. Martian Tuesday's.

Light talks underneath the shadows of the city lights and curious trees. Fish and okra and ATL island drinks. You tell me you’re moving again, makes me wonder how that would feel. Packing up and leaving. Starting over in a new city. We talk about men, we talk about love, we talk about mistrust, we talk about planting seeds. We talk. Tuesday night and the inquistive ear.

Slow to get out of bed. Sleep dancing behind my tired eyes. Luckily my yoga mat calls to me. Luckily I have programmed myself to adhere to my rituals and routines. Luckily? Decidedly. Opening back up feels like dipping my toes in the sand where the water meets the shore. In the distance I can see the waves. I want to feel something that encourages me to swim. Mercurial Wednesday's.

He doesn’t realize I love him yet. I'm sure he'll figure it out. Baking. Napping. Washing my hair in the middle of the night. Lighthearted connections. Every which a way. Resonating through time and space. Encountering issues that are not mine and taking my hands off of them. Liberation. Channeling more precisely. Slowly learning how to harness skill. Wednesday night full of precision.

Hearing the birds chirping while in eagle arm pose. Feeling my lower chakras open in rabbit pose. Namaste. Namaste. Namaste baby. Earlier start to a busy day. Anointing my head and my crown. Hearing Ra’s meows. Trusting in the force that has been guiding me. Keeping my faith strong, my love real, allowing peace to radiate and surround me. Jovian Thursday's.

Long ass day man. Productive. But still. Late afternoon mood swings. Self-compassion, patience, extending understanding and mustering up some grace. But still. Not much to say. Not much energy left in me to feel. Thursday in the depths of the abyss.

Late night tangents. Sleeping in batches. Cold morning air waking me up while the Sun rises. Oversized t-shirt & some panties. Thinking about the guy that told me he liked my legs the other night. Thinking about how easy it has become to release the old ways of being and embrace the new. Also thinking about you. Venusian Friday's.

Not needing and not clinging. And that feels good. But still wanting you. And that feels good too. Good talks through the day. Initiating convos, allocating time and energy with intention. Loving each moment for what it is vs what it could be. Intuitive spikes. Quiet nights. Friday with the sweet surrender.

Considering how emotionally charged the collective becomes in times of economic and social decline. Thinking of how love eases even the hardest of hearts and the wickedest of minds. Feeling excited about the day and the adventures it might bring. Enjoying the crisp cold air and fond ideas of spring. Saturnian Saturday's.

Reminded of yoga sessions that lasted for hours. Just me, my mat and the night sky. So much has changed since then but there��s a lot that stuck around and stayed along the way. In a lot of ways it feels like I’m starting over. In a lot of ways it feels like I’m just beginning. A process worth embodying, a life worth living. Saturday and a renewal of vows.

And on Sunday She loved & She rested.

[phantomwarrior12]

Restrained?

“Getting too old for this, Shaxx?”

That certainly isn’t a remark she’s ever tossed his way during a match. Never anything targeted or snippy. Never anything snide.

Something is up tonight.

The Young Wolf is twirling an Arc staff, the weapon’s energies bouncing and ricocheting sporadically around them. His shield is active, a means of rapid deflection but as she paces closer, he prepares himself.  

She bolts toward him, he extends the shield as her staff slams against the Void barrier. He counters, swinging to force her back and the blow lands. She stumbles a bit, trying to get her footing as the staff dissipates between her fingers.

He push the advantage, her super is gone, after all. But none of this feels right. None of this is her.

He knows she noticed the way he let his own super dissipate, the gradual shift to something more upright and less defensive. Her helmet tilts, shifting subtly from his arm to his helmet and back.

There is no uncertainty when she charges, prepared for a hand to hand battle but Shaxx wants this over with. He needs to end this before things get out of hand.

So, he calls upon a fighting style he hasn’t used in years. Overwhelming the Young Wolf in a matter of minutes with blows and counters that drive her back.

Then her spine meets the wall and Shaxx pins her hands above her head, holding her taut against him with a harshness he doesn't relish. She’s been particularly vicious tonight; aggressive in not only her blows but there’s been an uncharacteristically frequent amount of taunts and provocations.

She’s in a mood. One he can’t decipher, but a mood nonetheless.

They stay there for a moment, both seeming to process the situation and just how close they are before the Young Wolf lets out a soft giggle.

There should be nothing funny about this but still, the Warlord smiles, "What's so funny?"

"You've never manhandled me before," she titles her head, a laugh on the edges of her voice.

"And?"

"Kind of like it."

Shaxx scoffs, shaking his head as he eases his hold. Her back relaxes against the wall, her body no longer bound against his but her hands are still held above her head. A precaution - she’s unpredictable tonight. A wild card in more than one sense and although Lord Shaxx enjoys a challenge, her unpredictably isn’t one of them.

Not when she's like this.

"You're not supposed to like it, dearest. You're supposed to struggle." He lowers his head a fraction, resting his helmet against hers. Her head angles forward, playfully wriggling her wrists against his palms but they both know it’s not enough to break his vice grip.

"Would you like me to struggle, Lord Shaxx?"

Her mood has shifted, again. It may be safe to let her loose, grant her a chance to make a next move to progress the match but - there is no tension left in her frame. He suspects, if he could see her eyes, he’d find a playfulness there. The sort she only summons when she’s prepared a prank for Saladin or Zavala and is eager to see the fall out.

Still, Shaxx sighs and releases her but only for a moment. Only just long enough to haul her up by the backs of her thighs and try to give himself some leverage that way. It also provides a distraction that she’ll capitalize on, but for now, he’ll take it.

Anything to settle her tonight.

Anything to see that unpredictably ebb and his Hunter will resume her usual, mischievous, but affectionate self. Anything to soothe the venom from her lips and resume the comfortable banter they usually engage in.

Something brought this on. Something dredged up a hell she’s trying to fight by way of lashing out. Something he doesn’t hold against her.

The Guardian winds her arms around his neck and giggles softly again. Shaxx’s shoulders sag, readjusting his hold on her thighs.

"This was a sparring match."

She hums a sound of confirmation, leaning her head back against the wall behind her.

"Then why aren't you taking it seriously?” He squeezes her thigh gently, smoothing his thumb against the fabric as he gazes down at her.

She seems careless, relaxed but her relentless trace over the leather bound around his neck alerts him there is something more.

"I am." She returns flippantly.

"The giggling argues otherwise." He tries to tease. Tries to coax a calmness from her.

She, to her credit, does try to look sheepish but he knows she is grinning beneath that helmet.

“Would you rather call it an evening? The ramen shop is open and I–”

Her head snaps up quicker than could be comfortable and Shaxx's brow furrows.

Ah. So that’s what this is about.

If he recalls correctly, Cayde often took her there after missions. To tell her stories, to talk and joke. Shaxx is sure the Guardian picked up those mischievous tendencies from the Hunter Vanguard which is why it doesn’t bother him but she does miss Cayde. Some days are worse than others and it seems tonight…tonight is one of those extremes.

…the anniversary is coming up, isn't it?

Shaxx gently adjusts his hold so he can guide her closer, so he can step away from the wall without dropping her.

The Young Wolf’s arms tighten around his neck, her helmet dropping against his shoulder.

“Well, that explains your barbs,” he remarks softly, carrying her over to a larger stone and takes a seat. He clutches her close as his chin rests atop her shoulder.

“I--" a shiver tears alone her frame and she presses closer, "I'm sorry." the Hunter murmurs, her voice wavering.

His chest clenches and he squeezes her, “I forgive you.” She crumbles against him, a shaky inhale against his shoulder before she buries her visor against the side of his neck.

They stay there for a time. The Young Wolf clinging to him as if he were life itself and he tries, so desperately, to console her.

At last, he finds his voice. "If you like, I can go with you. He wouldn't want you to go alone."

The Young Wolf presses closer, smoothing her hand over the fur around his neck, following it down the binding of his necklace until her fingers trace the pendant.

It feels like an eternity before she speaks. Even then, it's soft. Barely discernible despite their proximity.

"I'd like that."

"Good," he shifts his hand, curling it around her own against his chest. "But tonight…tonight, I think we should get your mind off of things."

He swears he hears a scoff from the Hunter in his arms.

"You never drink."

"Not in public," he chuckles softly. He hooks a finger beneath her chin and tilts her head up to meet his gaze. "But tonight, I think I can make an exception."

"...does it have to be in public?" She murmurs, leaning into his touch.

"I don't believe there's anything strong left at home, dearest."

A pointed tilt of his head and this time, she does look sheepish.

Lord Shaxx does not often drink to the point of delirium. Neither of them do. But the last time they both did - well, neither of them remembered much of the evening and they woke up cuddled up on the floor.

Without clothes.

And scorch marks littered their bedroom.

"So…public is our only option at this hour." Her shoulders sag.

"I'm afraid so." Shaxx traces a finger along her neck, "But I'm sure we can find somewhere quiet."

She hugs him then. Tightly, bordering on suffocating but he doesn't think she has the strength tonight. Whether it was the fight or the weight on her heart, he isn't sure.

But she's tired.

When he tries to disentangle, his Hunter is less than willing to allow it. Somehow, it devolves into a wrestling match - one the Young Wolf does not win purely because Shaxx brute forces a pin by way of his strength.

This time, she does struggle. She kicks at his thigh to try and shatter his balance but has no success. He pins her leg beneath his knee and she huffs.

But not in exasperation. Not in any manner that evenly remotely mimics her earlier behavior. She huffs because there is, rarely, an instance where she can evade his pin like this.

It's clear. She's tired, yes. But not without her fighting spirit. That is a relief.

Their position mirrors the earlier pin - her wrists bound above her head, visor to visor as chests heave. But this time, her fists unfurl and she relaxes beneath him. This time her head tilts back and he knows she is smiling a resigned smile.

There is no trace of aggression or tension.

It's just the two of them.

As it always is.

"If I let you up," Shaxx begins slowly, lowering his frame a fraction and she does tense then.

But in a playful manner, as if assuming he'd crush her. As if there were any world in which her Warlord would deliberately harm her.

"Jumpy," he chuckles softly.

Her head lifts, nuzzling her helmet against his but she doesn't answer verbally. She strains just enough against his hold before her helmet vanishes in a transmat and she smiles up at him.

He knows - by the tilt of her head, the plea in her eyes - he knows what she's asking of him.

He repostions her wrists, binding them in one hand before he pries his helmet off. Before it settles off to the side and she forcefully captures his lips in a firm kiss despite his hold.

He smiles into the caress before his head tilts and the kiss deepens. Before she tries to pull a hand free to touch him and groans her disapproval when he will not relent. Before he traces a hand along her side and she hums her approval. Before he lifts his head just enough to see her and smiles.

“Better?”

She nods, blinking up at him lazily. Her exhaustion more evident than anything else.

He finally releases her hands and he finds them cradling his face an instant later.

“Thank you,” she whispers.

“You needn’t thank me.” He murmurs, working his arm beneath her form to draw her close. Her fingers move, sliding up until her arms bind around his neck and Shaxx hugs her.

Her hold is steadfast when he slowly sits back on his heels, her form damn near glued to his own for a time. Silence surrounds them and it’s only the tender trace of his hand over the fabric of her cloak that disturbs it.

Lord Shaxx waits until her hold eases and her head readjusts before he speaks. Even so, her breath is warm against the side of his neck and he wills a sense of composure into place.

“Are you ready to go?” His voice softer than it had been and she nods slightly.

The Warlord gently guides her arms from around his neck, his hands curling around her own before he lifts them, pressing a kiss to each gloved knuckle. His eyes lift to the Guardian’s features and there’s a touched sort of warmth in her eyes.

Thank you.

It’s in every inch of her features and although he longs to reassure her a second time that it isn’t necessary, he can’t bring himself to. Not when she looks at him this way.

“You’re welcome,” he caves at last, offering a smile that melts her posture a fraction.

Perhaps drinking is off the table. She may just need to be held for the night. In any case, he’ll be there. Keeping her close, soothing away the pain that lingers because she is not meant to shoulder this grief alone.

Cayde wouldn’t want her to either.

As the two get to their feet and helmets are replaced, Shaxx gathers their weapons before he slips his hand into the Guardian’s. Her grip is tight and desperate as they walk toward the portal that will take them back to the Tower - back to reality.

“Guardian–”

She looks up at him.

“...you know you can rely on me, yes? Not just for this, but–” he isn’t sure how to continue. How does one tell humanity’s savior that she does not have to bear the weight of the world on her shoulders?

But she seems to understand. Her hand squeezes around his, her frame tucking a little closer to his massive form.

I know.

“Good,” he nods, pulling them both to a stop just shy of the portal. “In the event you’ve somehow forgotten this,” his head lowers, his other hand lifting to cup the edge of her helmet.

“I love you.”

Her fingers bind tighter around his own, her free hand lifting to cradle his against her helmet.

“I love you, too.”

Hearing it from her lips is like hearing it for the first time, every time.

“Let’s go home, dearest.”

The Young Wolf gives a nod just before Lord Shaxx smiles and stoops to pick her up. Her arms wind around his neck, her head settling against his shoulder as he carries her through the portal toward home.

Brave, Guardian. Very brave.

-------------

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[rexharasta]

1. Rex Harasta

2. Au Ra Dragoon

3. Horn piercings made of pale quartz crystals

4. Late 20's

5. Very go-with-the-flow. Tends to act cool and calm around others. Can get caught up in feelings and be dramatic about it, and very much lives in the moment. Can easily swing into bad mood and just as easily swing out of it.

6. Loves Eorzean "cool" fashion, but spent most of his years in little more than a loincloth and won't hesitate to return to that if he feels even a little stuffy.

7. A struggle. Learning how to defty climb sheer cliffs along the Yanxia Bay was a necessity for life for his clan. Tribe leaders were too stubborn to consider an easier path or even open trade with other clans, so most days were spent learning how to be self-sufficient.

8. During the events of ARR-Endwalker, he had little to no time to think about his desire to reunite with his clan, to let everyone know he still lives. Post-Endwalker, he made the effort to return to the Harasta tribe. Pleased to find his siblings alive and the tribe finally flourishing by being more diplomatic and trading with other tribes, Rex also felt he'd grown apart from them and now seeks a new purpose. His excursion to Tural was as much for him as it was for Wuk Lamat.

9. The rewards for his deeds have been more than enough. He hardly stays in one place and doesn't need a steady home and income.

10. Having spent 24 years eating almost exclusively spitroasted fish, anything new and tasty is his favorite dish.

11. Returning home to find his tribe dead from a similar disaster that took his parent's generation.

12. Spearfishing. It reminds him of home. Also loves to climb big city buildings.

13. DPS!!! KILL!!!!!!!

14. Between navigating cliffsides and his lancer and dragoon training, he's an exceptional climber. Can also pound a bottle of mezcal and stand upright. A talent to some, a problem to others.

15. Not an eorzean native. From the Harasta tribe in the most eastern part of the Azim Steppes, along the Yanxia Bay. The clan was once a hundred strong, but more than half died when an unusually strong storm pounded the cliffsides, causing a massive rock slide that fell into the ocean. The clan's elders were in the process of getting everyone deeper inside the cliffside caves to safety when it happened. None survived, leaving the young to fend for themselves going forward. Rex believes it was a primal that caused this.

16. Dead. Gone with the storm.

17. Four of them are all alive. Rex worried about their well-being during his travels. When he mustered up the courage to return home after the events of Endwalker, he nearly wept with joy to see them alive and thriving. Since then, they've left the Harasta tribe to expand their horizons. Rex frequently seeks them out now just to make sure they're safe.

18. In a sense, the rest of the clan is his extended family. But for years after the storm, it's was a competitive environment where they strongest got to eat the most, and some would deprive others of food so they could eat just a little more. Things are better now, but a bitterness lingers as Rex struggles to put the past aside.

19. Has yet to conceptualize the idea of "The One" but loves his friends and siblings dearly. Has experienced a couple crushes but between his poor grasp of the eorzean common language and a little bad luck, he hasnt found someone who reciprocates. He had an arranged marriage with his clan, but all those plans fell apart after the storm.

20. After gaining some renown, he quickly grew uncomfortable with bedding everyone who threw themselves at him. For a while, especially when things were dire, he'd only proposition someone to mutually relieve some tension. After the events of Endwalker, he's been entertaining flings more. Still waiting for romance and sex to make a connection.

21. Gil is an unfortunate necessity since he doesn't suffer from greed. Rarely needs more than what's on his person, let's Tataru handle the money.

22. Once an avid and exclusive believer in Azim and Nhaama, his worldly travels have changed his perspective. All walks of life have their own faith, each follows similar dogmas with flavors of their own cultures. Rex has made his own conclusion this his sun God and another's sun God are the same, and their mythos is catered to the beleiver's culture, and that goes for the other gods. On the other hand, he believes worshipping a primal is dangerous. Even if the worshipper is tempered, he believes they're still partially responsible for the destruction the primal causes. So when he learned Hydaelyn is also a primal, he saw himself as hypocritical and questioned his own actions. This was one of the key moments that led him down a dark path during the events of Endwalker.

23. Zenos, for the longest time. Even now he fears his return. Otherwise he still clings onto old rivalries from this clan, even if his rivals have grown out of it already.

24. He'll never admit it, but Estinien. Rex has been the stronger dragoon since the end of Havensward. But it's Estinien's ability to change, reflect, and walk unburdened that he aspires to. He also envies Estinien's role in the scions. Able to come and go as he pleases, always on the outside of the hurricane while Rex is squarely in the middle of it. Rex would someday like to cast aside his Warrior of Light title and be no more than a traveling adventurer like Estinien.

25. He has old memories of exploring the cliffsides with his siblings, learning how to spearfish with his mother and father. Simpler times. More recently, the brief pauses between adventures are memories he holds fondly.

26. He's slow and uneducated without much desire to learn. He also has issues with vanity and can be caught staring into a mirror at times.

27. Freedom is paradise. And one must work towards attaining freedom through personal training and surrounding ones self with others to help them stay unshackled.

28. Honestly relates to them more than most eorzeans. Rex is quick to feel like an outsider, but with the beast tribes it feels like everyone is on the same level.

29. Not being stronger when his parents died. What remained of the clan needed guidance and Rex got trampled over by more assertive members. It was his wounded pride that led to him accidentally falling into the ocean himself, getting lost as sea and ending up in Gridania. He thinks if it wasn't him, someone else would bear the burden of being the Warrior of Light. Maybe someone better.

30. Rex still can't read eorzean common. He always worms his way out of any tasks that require it, and is always thankful to have Y'shtola around since she'll happily take up the task.