#it could all be a good balance actually. wow. this is great for a concept that i just threw together bc i was like oh lesbians

[dawnssummers]

oh yeah decided i believe in faith/willow/kennedy whyever not

[hairstevington]

Stranger Therapy - part 3!

Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington

Summary: Steve and Eddie visit Dr. Bauman a third time. While they figure out their feelings for each other, Dr. Bauman attempts to speed up the process. Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Link to Ao3

Word Count: 3.1K

Warnings: Discussion of intimacy, PROLONGED EYE CONTACT, talking about sex in a very PG way, sexual tensionnnnn, modern day AU, aged up, Matchmaker Murray.

A/N: Things are heating up folks ;)

Next time, you’re in the hot seat. No fake dreams, I’m talking real shit, okay?

Technically, Steve had never agreed to that, but he knew Eddie wasn’t going to let it go. Besides, Eddie had been extremely vulnerable in their last session, and Steve did feel a slight need to have things balanced. 

The thing was, things kind of were balanced, because the dream he’d brought up in therapy with Dr. Murray wasn’t entirely fake. 

Steve had never been that great of a liar. He had to come up with something to talk about, and he didn’t have enough time to make up a problem, so he actually had brought real shit into their counseling session. Sure, it devolved into something unrelated to Steve’s real recurring nightmare, but the core of it was intact. 

It’s just that - Steve wasn’t used to talking about his feelings. He locked all of it away ever since - ha, nice try! 

He knew if he was going to open up to anyone, a therapist would be a great place to start, but the problem was that it wasn’t just Dr. Bauman. It was Eddie too. And Steve liked Eddie - at least, he was pretty sure he did. The only person that really knew what went on in Steve’s head was Robin, for the most part. Even then, there were a lot of things Steve just…never talked about. 

Then again, if he didn’t share at the next session, he’d be going directly against what Eddie asked of him. Which really didn’t matter that much, because they didn’t know each other, and because Steve was paying for all this anyway, but for whatever reason Steve couldn’t let this go or go against Eddie’s wishes. Despite everything, he was genuinely excited to go to counseling again. 

Steve had been through a lot of wild shit, but this was most definitely the craziest thing he’d ever done. 

-

The last guy Eddie went on a date with turned out to be a serial killer. That’s not even a joke - the man was secretly a literal serial killer. Eddie felt something was off after they went out, so nothing ever came of it. About a month later, Eddie saw the guy on the news. 

So, that was weird, and a hell of a story. Couples counseling with Steve was extremely tame by comparison.

Yeah, the concept of going to therapy with a person he didn’t know that well was a little out there, but it certainly didn’t feel as weird as it should have. Steve must have felt the same, and that’s why they both continued to go back. 

Who knows? Maybe they were onto something.

Steve: So I have an idea if you’re up for it

Eddie: Pray tell

Steve: We drive together this time?

Eddie: Hmmmm

Steve: Or not, all good either way

Eddie: wow you got anxious about that really fast

Steve: Shut up lol

Eddie: Am I sensing a fear of rejection?

Steve: Dude come ON

Eddie: If only there was someone we could maybe discuss this with

Steve: Asdfghjkl are you done yet?

Eddie: your car or mine ;)

Eddie liked the way he flustered Steve just a little bit, but not enough to throw him off. He felt solid and secure, and he looked out for Eddie without being asked or seeming condescending about it. 

Even though the entire thing was unorthodox, it was also kind of perfect. The initial stages of dating were always a chore, anyway - this blew them way past that and into something entirely different. 

Eddie pulled up to Steve’s apartment and barely had to wait a minute before Steve came tumbling out. Steve tended to always look good, but the weather was getting warmer, and this time he was wearing short sleeves. 

Yeah. His arms were gonna be a problem. 

“Hey babe,” Steve teased as he hopped into the passenger’s seat. 

“Hey,” Eddie grinned. “You’re especially chipper today.”

“Yeah, well…” Steve ran his hands through his hair, putting his flexed bicep fully into Eddie’s view. He tried not to stare, but…come on. “What?”

“Nothing,” Eddie replied quickly, turning his attention back to the road. “So, how was your week?”

Oh my god, what the hell is this? 

Eddie rarely got thrown off by men. Typically, he was the one who did the teasing, and most people found him too intimidating to dish it back. That was the dynamic he was used to, but with Steve -

“My week was good. Yesterday, Robin and I went to this fancy dinner. It’s become a tradition every year on March 27th because the first time we went we lied and said it was our anniversary to get a free dessert. Now it’s been three or four years and we get all kinds of special treatment. They love us.”

“You mean to tell me I’m not the only one you’re pretending to date right now?” Eddie asked, dramatically pretending to be offended.

 “Well, yeah, Eddie,” Steve responded. “I’m a pretty hot commodity as a fake boyfriend. I mean, look at me.” 

Eddie saw Steve gesturing at himself in his peripheral vision, and very much didn’t need to actually look to know how hot the man was. 

“Damn, well it’s a good thing I like a little competition.” They sat in comfortable silence for a moment before Eddie spoke again. “How long have you and Robin been friends?”

“God, since I was like, eighteen,” Steve answered. “She went to Hawkins High too, actually. Robin Buckley?”

“No shit!” Eddie exclaimed. Of course he remembered Robin - they were both band geeks. “Never would have thought you two would have been close.”

“Yeah, well a horrible minimum wage job will bond you to someone,” Steve said with a laugh. “If you ever see us together, you’d think we were dating, too. Most people think that.”

“But you’re not dating?”

“Nope.”

“Why not?” Eddie asked. Steve chuckled lightly.

“Seriously, man? Read between the lines and think about why you and I started talking.” Eddie smirked. 

“Got it. I just mean, like, bisexuality exists, so I didn’t want to assume anything.” 

“Right, well I am bisexual but Robin only has eyes for women,” Steve explained. “But every partner either of us has ever had always gets jealous or suspicious of us. It’s, like, the first big test of our relationships.” 

“Well, personally I’d love to see you two in action,” Eddie said. “If you ever wanted to do something, like other than therapy.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Steve replied. He didn’t say it in a dismissive way, but he also didn’t agree to it, which was weird. 

“Does she know about me?” Eddie asked, suddenly curious. 

“Yeah, she does,” Steve responded. The cracks in his charisma were starting to show. Interesting. “She doesn’t know we still, uh - she thinks we’re just going out. Like, normally.”

“But we’re not,” Eddie concluded. The only real date they’d had was the coffee, but they’d each paid for their own. It could easily be construed as friendship. For all Eddie knew, he was about to become another Robin. Which wasn’t a horrible thing to be, except now Steve was reaching over the dash to turn the radio up, and Eddie could smell his cologne, and he knew for sure that whatever this was, it sure as hell wasn’t platonic. At least, not for him. 

Very, very interesting indeed. 

-

When the boys sat down in Murray’s office for their second official session, he could practically see the pheromones between them. He could have cut the sexual tension with a swift karate chop. 

Naturally, he had to mess with them a little bit about it. 

“Okay, so today I wanted to bring things back to your initial complaint of not feeling connected and talk about intimacy,” Murray began. 

“Intimacy?” Eddie asked. “Like, sex?”

“Intimacy comes in many forms,” Murray reminded them. “Physically and emotionally. For example, some couples find it incredibly intimate to cook together, read to each other, or shower together - once again, in a non-sexual way. Even physical intimacy is on a spectrum. Some couples have sex, some don’t.”

Murray saw both of the boys stare at him as if he was speaking a different language. Evidently, they needed to talk about this whether they were actually dating or not.

“Okay,” Steve finally said. 

I wonder if they’ve banged it out, yet. 

“We can start with physical intimacy, if you’d prefer. How is your sex life going?” The boys immediately stiffened, their cheeks rosy red, which answered Murray’s question pretty clearly. Huh, not yet. What’s taking them so long? They recovered within moments, then answered the question confidently. 

“Good,” Steve answered.

“Top-notch,” Eddie added. They shared a look that Murray assumed the idiots thought he wouldn’t catch. He could read them so easily, the way that Steve was now flattered at the insinuation that Eddie thought he was good in bed, and the way Eddie was so eager to brag about their sex life. 

“So, what are some ways you two are emotionally intimate with each other?” That question seemed to stump the boys. Murray had found that a lot of people in their twenties struggled with being emotionally intimate. “Hmm. Would you guys be willing to try something a little different today?”

“Like, what exactly?” Steve wondered. 

“An experiment, I suppose. Nothing too scary.” 

“Fuck it, sure,” Eddie agreed. He turned to Steve. “You up for it?” Steve looked slightly less enthused by the idea, but nodded. 

“Okay,” Murray said, rubbing his hands together. “So, first I’m going to have you stare into each other's eyes for two minutes, and then I’ll ask you both some questions.” 

They hesitantly did as told, turning towards each other on the couch and making eye contact. Once again, their chemistry basically jumped off them - the way they were both nervous but tentatively trusting of one another. They’d already built more trust than a lot of couples Murray had worked with who had been together for years.  

Any day now, they’ll figure it out. I give it a week, tops.

-

Eddie had no problem with eye contact. In fact, he was known for using it as a way to intimidate people. He was comfortable with it, so when Murray suggested the eye contact thing, Eddie thought it would be no big deal. 

But then, Eddie and Steve turned on the couch to face each other. The stupid thing had a dip in the center that caused both of them to slip forward slightly and knock their knees together. There was a brief moment where Steve reached to stabilize himself on Eddie’s thigh. Eddie was touchy, and it didn’t usually faze him at all. 

This time, it did. 

As he looked at Steve, he couldn’t stop himself from wondering about what had changed. The first few times they’d met up, Eddie felt perfectly in control. He found Steve attractive and all, and he liked being around the guy, but this time something had shifted. He pondered it for the whole two minutes, and came to the conclusion that Eddie’s vulnerability in the last session and Steve’s ability to calm him down afterwards was what did it.

Dr. Bauman was absolutely onto something with the emotional intimacy thing. This shit was worth every penny. Well, Steve’s pennies, technically.  

-

God, this feels weird.

Steve didn’t care about eye contact, but it wasn’t usually, like, scheduled and moderated. He knew Murray was watching them, studying them, and at this point Steve didn’t know where he ended and the whole relationship charade with Eddie began. 

He wasn’t an idiot - he knew what Eddie had been hinting at in the car before with the whole, if you ever want to do anything other than therapy. It’s just that Steve kinda panicked at the thought of it, because it felt like things were moving too fast for them to actually date outside of whatever the hell this was. 

Then again, Eddie had very pretty eyes. Most of Steve’s two minutes were spent desperately trying not to look at his lips. 

He didn’t know what the hell was going on. 

“Time’s up,” Dr. Bauman said. Steve relaxed and immediately broke eye contact to look back at the counselor beside them. “Not so fast - keep looking at each other.”

“Doctor, did you lie to us?” Eddie teased. Steve noticed he had absolutely no issues holding his gaze, but that he somehow sensed Steve’s anxiety. Eddie reached out and laid his hand on Steve’s knee, but it was unclear whether or not that was intentional or just a product of being so close to each other on the couch that forced people together. 

“Now I’ll ask you both again. What are some ways you two are emotionally intimate?”

Here. This. I’d rather be naked. 

“We, uh - “ Steve thought back to their conversation at the coffee shop and smiled. “We play music together.”

“Very nice,” Dr. Bauman said approvingly. “Eddie, anything to add?”

“I know his coffee order,” Eddie replied. “Does that count?”

“Absolutely,” Dr. Bauman confirmed. “How did this exercise make you feel?”

“Scared.”

The word left Steve’s mouth before he could even think to stop it. Shit. He’s totally going to ask me about that. Steve turned his body back around to face the therapist, unable to meet Eddie’s gaze anymore. 

“Let’s dig a little deeper into that fear.” I knew it. Dammit. “Why might you feel so scared?”

Might as well just keep going. We’re already here.

“Because every time I open up to someone I end up - “ Steve sighed. “I lose them. One way or another I lose them, because I’m not good enough, or I'm too much, or there’s someone better, or because of other bullshit I sure as hell don’t want to get into right now. So I don’t really talk about my feelings anymore. But then, not letting people in makes people leave, too.”

“A self-fulfilling prophecy,” Dr. Bauman noted. “Very common. Why do you think this feeling started?”

Steve wondered if it was too late to run out of the office and never look back. He could call Robin, have her pick him up, and never think about this ever again -

“Hey,” Eddie said quietly from beside him. Steve turned to see Eddie's face drained of its usual vibrance, instead replaced with something more empathetic and soft. All of a sudden, it was only the two of them in the room. “You okay?”

Steve wasn’t ready to feel so seen. He shook his head without intentionally doing so.

“I - I can’t,” he whispered. Eddie nodded, then turned back to Dr. Bauman. 

“Doc, do you mind if we switch over to something I’ve been thinking about that I want to unpack with you? I have a lot of things actually. I made a list…” 

Steve watched as Eddie dug through his pockets and found a literal, paper, list. And normally, Steve would tease someone about that, but with Eddie it was both endearing and completely on brand. 

This thing they were doing - whatever it was - it worked.

The rest of the session was far less intense. As time passed, Steve felt the tightness in his chest fade little by little. 

The last two times they’d done this, their time together ended when the session did. This time, there was still a whole ride home. 

“Thanks for driving,” Steve said once they got inside the van. “I’ll do it next week.”

“So, you still wanna go back?” Eddie asked, surprised. 

“Well, yeah. I mean, isn’t that what you want?”

“I - I don’t want you to do it just for me, you know? Like, if you don’t want to do it then that’s okay,” Eddie said. Steve shrugged. 

“If we didn’t - if we stopped, I mean. Then what?” Eddie’s eyes stayed focused on the road, and his lack of response caused Steve to continue rambling. “And like, what if the lying combined with us telling the truth is throwing him off, and then we get all messed up in the head or something?”

“I don’t think that’s how that works,” Eddie replied. 

“We should just tell him what’s going on.” Once again, Eddie was silent. “That we’re not really in a relationship, I mean.”

“I think you’re completely glossing over a very obvious solution,” Eddie finally said. “Like, we matched for a reason originally, right? I know the first appointment was supposed to be a one-off thing, but then we kept going. Are we still - like, did we scrap the actual dating part of this or is that still going on? Because I mean - like, even if you didn’t want to see Dr. Bauman anymore, I think I’d still wanna - I don’t know, keep seeing you.”

“I wanna keep seeing you too,” Steve agreed. Obviously, he wanted to keep seeing Eddie. “But I also want to keep seeing Dr. Bauman, which complicates things.” As much as he hated therapy, he needed it. That much was clear. 

“So, we can’t do both?” Eddie asked. 

“We are doing both,” Steve argued.

“You know what I mean.” They were almost to Steve’s, but their conversation felt very unfinished. “Look - I like you. Do you like me?” Yes. Steve couldn’t get himself to say it, for some reason. Yeah, I totally do. If only Eddie was a mind reader. “Got it. Okay, well here’s your stop. I’ll see you next week I guess.” 

Eddie put the car in park, and for a fleeting moment, Steve thought about leaving the conversation at that. But he wasn’t going to fall into his old patterns of - what did Dr. Bauman call it? A self-fulfilling prophecy? 

“I like you too,” he admitted. “I’ve been trying to only focus on what goes on in the office, but I keep thinking about, uh, things between us. I mean, on the one hand, we get along great, but on the other, we’re in therapy together, and you already know more about my issues than most of my previous partners. So I just, I don’t know. It almost feels weird to consider us dating, because it messes with what we have going on in there, and it seems like we both need the counseling, so…”

“You’ve thought about things, huh?” Steve finally looked back at Eddie to see him stifling a grin.

“Were you even listening to the rest of what I said?”

“Well, I wanted to, but I was too busy thinking about things, too.” Steve felt some type of way at the confession of mutual attraction. 

“You - you were?” Eddie nodded aggressively, and Steve tried not to think about the things Eddie could possibly have been thinking about. “Okay, well if you’d been listening, you would know why us doing anything might be a bad idea. If it ends badly between us -”

“Good thing we have a couple’s counselor, right?”

God dammit. Eddie had a hell of an argument, and Steve was all out of excuses. He took a deep breath.

“Wanna come in?”

(next chapter)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[inventors-fair]

Basic Type Commentary: Discoveries

As I learned, and by that I mean as I sorta figured out without actual consequence, the flavor/mechanics love is hard to balance. Cards like Loam Lion are suave and cool and mysterious to me; you got that mechanical bend but also, like, the lion gets to hide in the woods! That’s really cool! And...there’s also the mechanical ones straight-up, which encourage deckbuilding restrictions, but those are a different kind of fun, and... I think I should’ve asked for more of the former but I’m glad that I got all these good designs regardless.

Like, this week was GOOD. Very few mechanical stumbles. It does kinda suck when you have some cards that are functional but not exciting but still REALLY good, because talking about them is different than evaluating them. Y’know? They can’t be evaluated in the same way because they’re already really awesome, so they end up just being good on their own and that’s about it. Still, the nature of this contest allowed for that open-endedness; what else could I have expected? I’m still quite happy to be talking about the cards I enjoyed and tweaking the things that need tweaking. It’s all fun.

JUDGE PICKS are cards I want to commend for one reason or another, that either had a specific cool aspect or just missed the cutoff.

@0woah — Contracted Excavator

Interesting name and concept you’re working with here. I would definitely caution to make this rare, because, I mean, Ragavan’s a strong little monkey as is (and, like, this isn't even comparable, just so we're clear), and even at this cost the ability to run a mono-red deck with all Mountains and this is incredibly strong. Still, I gotta say: this is a real solid submission. I’m viewing it through a rare lens all the same. The ability to exile-steal your opponents’ best cards or at least prevent them from getting their shenanigans is pretty crazy.

I think I see the flavor, too, but this is one of those utilitarian cards; I’m doing commentary out of order so I think I said something similar below. Regardless! On the flavor front, sure, dwarf mercenaries checks out. Good use of the type with the mechanical synergy. The dwarf mines, and whatever they find is yours. Awesome. In limited, this could be a really strong utility card if not a half-decent attacker, and once you up the rarity we’re pretty good. Notes: It should be “Mountain card” for the activation, and I would word it: “Choose target opponent. Exile the top card of that player’s library and the top card of your library. You may cast those cards this turn, and you may spend mana as though it were mana of any color to cast those spells.” You don’t need “in hand” for this.

~

@batatafilosofal — Flood Away (JUDGE PICK)

In a mono-blue deck, this thing’s a heck of a slog to get through. I’m a huge fan of big swingy bounce-like cards, but wow... All the same, though, this has a unique way of getting around that by having the big things come in first. It’s a shame that your opponents’ permanents will enter the battlefield before yours—unless they’re all small and your stuff is pretty big. Which, well, speaks for itself. What a strange card. I think I want to veer away from flavor-specific critique here because it’s clearly a general-magic utilitarian card, and that’s totally fine. The art could speak for all of that.

The question is then, with the math and whatnot, if this is a little too headachey for standard, or even for limited, and I love this card but I gotta say, a zillion counters and upkeep triggers and a return to suspend in standard? Not sure how I feel about that optimistically. What I will say, however, is that this card’s definitely great in digital. On Arena, you cast this card, and beep boop everything’s out of the picture. I have a vehement disdain for Arena, but I have a soft spot for places where human error would make things worse. Perhaps this card has a home. Also, you can remove that second “each” from the first ability, I believe.

~

@bread-into-toast— Peak Performance

I’m curious why this wasn’t an “until end of turn” or “until the end of your next turn” here; Occam’s razor, that was an oversight, but regardless. Quite a strange little thing here. I think the wording that you were going for and the ultimate execution may have, well, needed more words, like those weird milling-recursion cards they’ve been making lately. I think I see what you were going for generally: double-impulse type of common, with an extra land grab. Fine enough! Not egg-in-an-avocado good, but fine enough.

I’ll admit that the flavor text is making me grin. This isn’t a flavor-based contest, so people are probably going for a little more of a natural what-follows kind of vibe, which is totally cool! Silly for the advantage. You know, it’s a shame that this card only gets Mountains. It’s basically unplayable or at least really frustrating in a two-color draft archetype. Perhaps this is suggesting more of a constructed lean or a monocolor format, Pauper-burny, and I feel that. The limited player in me is seeing this as a fifteenth pick almost all of the time. I ain’t about to complain when I get advantage’d out by the 16-mountain burner, y’know?

~

@deg99 — Llanowar Purist

Is there precedent for two replacement effects like this? I mean, I grok it, but wow. This card can be absolutely bonkers. In a casual mono-green Elf deck, having each basic Forest put a COUNTER on each Elf you control?? Good lord. I wonder if this card would be better served as a core-set or DMU-type staple, because in a type-matters environment where Elves are one of the draftable archetypes, this is pretty strong. Hm, all the same, you have to build around it kinda hard. But in constructed? I dunno, I feel that you can make a strong Elf deck even stronger to the point of it being almost out of control. But maybe not. I think I’m worrying too much about blowouts from my days of Felidar Retreat. And this is kind of a more limited Felidar Retreat.

I’m overthinking it. Powerful? Yes. A staple? Eh. Good in limited? If you can make it work, I suppose. Elves and the rest of ‘em make for hard archetypes but the environment can change that. By itself, this card’s speaking to a more constructed means, I think, but could work for limited. Nothing wrong with cards like that overall. It’s not immediately evident but it’s not asking to be so. Getting even one other Elf out would make things work pretty well, so I’m going to say that, just like DMU, this would be totally fine. Oh, right, and as a grammar check: A basic foRest is a land. A basic foRRest....you know what, there was a joke here, but I'm electing to omit it. Point is, one R.

~

@halfsilveredmirror — Vantress Waterwheels (JUDGE PICK)

Good news! There’s only one card I could immediately see with which this goes two-card infinite. You, my friend, are tempting fate. What on earth! This is a beast of a card to get down for making blockers and tappers and mana dorks even better. What else?... You know what, it doesn’t have to do anything else. Clock of Omens was broken, and this card is less so, which is genuinely awesome. It’s asking for infinite combos, of course, but that’s the way the cookie crumbles, and there’s no specific archetype around which to build, AND it takes up mana resources, so that’s great.

Maybe this card’s even bad! Hold on. I mean, like, if you’re in limited, and you try to make this card work, and it’s the one you draw when you’re dead on board, it’s gonna feel REALLY bad to draw it. Like, astoundingly bad feeling. I love that. It’s a card that asks a lot of the player to make it work. Simple, powerful, great for looting dorks. I will say that the flavor text is pretty weak here. Waterwheels making kinetic energy isn’t exactly surprising, so the “reveal” you’re going for doesn’t land for me. I dunno, just not feeling the payoff.

~

@izzet-always-r-versus-u — Scuttle

You know, I’m not sure why this one didn’t wow me. I think the simplicity is fine, and the card plays harder the more Islands you have, which is fine, even though it’s almost always going to be a strictly better Mana Leak in the late game—but, it is an uncommon after all. Limited is gonna be fine with it, as it can vary depending on the environment and there’s nothing wrong with Force Spikes. Maybe that’s it: the most I can say for it is that “there’s nothing wrong with it.” And we do need cards like that, cards that could even be great in scenarios where now we have Mana Leak-but-better in Pioneer and whatnot.

The flavor is a little off. Sirens dashing hopes and dashing ships is a violent act of enforced luring, and perhaps this is the place where the ships (spells) are destroyed, but the flavor text’s description feels...like there should be another party? I don’t know, I think that it’s probably fine—with a different name. Scuttling is the act of making holes to sink the ship, cutting away, sometimes deliberately to your own vessel. It’s a subtle/non-telegraphed act of espionage by two equal parties, which doesn’t come across here for me. Now, I was thinking about crabs, and the flavor text of a possible reprint where crabs eat their way through the bottom of a boat, making a hole to sink it—and that’s the slightly less violent version than the “dashing” here. Verb choice matters.

~

@just--a--penguin — Garden of the Eidolon

How exactly does the dragon come into play here? Perhaps in the art direction, but who knows. Greek mythology is full of possibilities. First things first: I like the flavor format. Also, how does a land get inspired? Could’ve used a little more substance. I assume the eidolons are the ones tending the gardens. Do the gods need to eat? At least on Theros, I thought they were supplemented by the belief of their people. No matter. Tirezius still has fruit, so maybe I’m talking nonsense. At the end of the day, this card is fine, but I wouldn’t pick it highly in any format. Also, how does a land get inspired?

I guess third things third, this card should be uncommon? It’s a pretty great ramp spell and fixer, but that’s been done at common before. The mana not emptying feels like it’s upping the complexity; maybe this could be a three-mana uncommon? Either way, it’s not a bad card, but it’s lacking a little bit for me. Going back to it, I think the flavor text could’ve used a little more oomph.

EDIT: Something strange happened to the copy-pasting of the commentary here, so I have no idea what else to say beyond this. I think in the end I went with a rant about rarity, mana emptying, questioning myself and how mana works, and then I asked Maro something, and then I made popcorn and drove to catsit. Bottom line as well was that this card is nigh unplayable even in limited at this cost and rarity. Needs other substance and focus.

~

@misterstingyjack — Stonybrook Tideweaver (JUDGE PICK)

Oh, well that’s weird—but I guess either great minds think alike or great workshops produce cool results. The merfolk Island-love has always been there but I haven’t thought about it much until now! I really like the mechanics of this card. It’s asking a little bit of the board, but it’s an effect that, given the state of the board, I can imagine people trying to make work, and having it work well. Tap a merfolk, then get your High Tide. Wording-wise, I believe “until end of turn” needs to go before all that because most MTG cards like to end on a clean .” at the end of their rules text when applicable.

I don’t think playability would be affected in either limited or constructed. This is a card for Merfolk players to have fun with and to boost their archetypical decks. I like the specificity of it. The flavor text feels good conceptually but reads oddly to me. The second part being its own sentence makes me... Oh, no, nono, dangit, now I REALLY want this to be a rhyming couplet somehow. Look, I’m not going to figure that out, but I’m tasking you with it now. This is your burden to bear. The tl;dr of it is that having that sentence makes it feel stilted after a period and, like the river, it could use smoother flow.

~

@nine-effing-hells — Ire of Stones

You might want to double-check and hand-enter your reminder text, because “another Mountain” is cute flavorfully but doesn’t need the ‘nother’ up in there. Still, I feel this card and I feel what you’re going for. This one is weird and I really like that drawback for it. For this contest, I feel that this is exactly the kind of card that I was hoping to see at the concept level: it interacts with the card type in a manner that shows a flavorful caress. Did I ask for that specifically? No, but what’re we gonna do at this point, right?

The title “ire” is a little off, but as for the rest of it... What can I say? This card’s cute. It could be fun to get your Goblin Guides in early and then, when they die, you get some untapped lands. I doubt you can go infinite easily with these things, so that’s all fun and fair. Instead, you have a beater, and that’s all we can ask for. Hm, I wonder how this contest would have gone with monocolor cards that care about different land types... In retrospect, that might have even been better, but you know what, I’ll give it another year, assuming I have the time and energy for this, heh. It’s a beater, it’s sensible, it’s fast, it’s not too powerful, I like it. Fair’s fair.

~

@real-aspen-hours — Slip Under

So yeah, let’s assume a rare here, heh. Mechanically, I think that there’s nothing wrong with either part of this card. The wording on the first ability could be “Creatures you control have ward (2)” for ease of access, so let’s assume that. This card is a limited stranger, an odd duck, because it kind of forces these two colors, but if that’s what works, that’s what works. I would have liked more of a flavorful connection between them, because it’s fine as it stands and I appreciate the multicolor bend, but I want that little glue there.

The real glue that’s missing is what the name represents in terms of an aura. Intangible concepts aren’t easy, and perhaps with cards like Find the Path and Annex I have less ground to stand on, but verbs as aura names rub me the wrong way—or at least I feel that it doesn’t fit as well. Maybe the creatures are slipping under? But then, why would one slipping-under action result in the ward, and then another be phasing out? I would rather have a specific flavor name that referred to the protection granted by the act of enchanting this land that made the sacrifice effect more sensible. Oh, yeah, before I forget: card’s still pretty great! Fun to abuse all your little creatures for a boardwipe.

~

@reaperfromtheabyss — Seeker of the Thousand Ways

Gah, long names that look awkward, my old nemesis! ... Gah, cool mechanics involved in combat, my other nemesis! Ahem. Anyway, this card’s hella cool. I think that it speaks for itself, and I think that “You may play that card this turn” would be a better way to word it and has appeared before, but that’s a small quibble. Should the exile be a may ability? Eh, no, maybe not. I also really like the idea of scrying both cards to the bottom and then flipping an even more unplayable card off of the top. That would happen to me for sure.

It’s also quite an archetype you’re asking for. Three-color possibilities actually feels...kinda cool? It makes me wonder if they’d reprint the DMU duals—and how many times have I mentioned those now? I don’t even want to count—for those kinds of specific shenanigans. Maybe just a couple, maybe just enemy pairs. Either way, no, yeah, it’s a totally fine card. The name really does leave a bit to be desired, though. Seeker of the Way was certainly a card, and this callback feels almost...funny, or at least an attempt at a joke rather than an uplifting remembrance to me. Still, could just be me.

~

@spooky-bard — Tarpit Ceratops

Like a fossilized dinosaur skeleton, this card feels cool but a little too sticky. The explore archetype in limited was a strange one to say the least, and in constructed—well, wasn’t there some crazy-ass lifegain deck going around? Am I the only one who remembers that? I might be going crazy. Anyway, this card groks, but the pieces that want to go together don’t quite have that backing for me yet. Referencing cards revealed through another card’s exploration means that this card is kinda dead a lot of the time, no pun intended, and a four-mana 3/3 menace is super cool but not awesome. The archetype could work well by putting THIS into the graveyard, and that’s all cool.

I dunno, I’m just not sold yet. I do grok it, I promise, and I know that it should adhere. There’s nothing specific that I can point to that makes me hesitate. If anything, I’d say that it’s the ambition of it. There is indeed a fair amount of ambition taking place with the question of what gets revealed, and you know what, I want to commend you for trying something new on that front. Small actual note, the “it” on the Swamp clause there? It reads like it’s referring to the Swamp and that’s pretty confusing. And shouldn’t it be “is” revealed?

~

@stupidstupidratcreatures — Kor Ambusher

This is certainly a Kor. You know what, I’m actually a little surprised that there wasn’t a card named this already, and I could have sworn that there was. Ah well, learn something new every day. So! Mechanically, yep, that’s a warrior, it’s suggesting an RW warriors archetype, it’s a cool white card, and it gets to break a little chunk of a the pie without actually breaking anything. That much is all fine.

For contest terms, this card’s pretty insubstantial? The lack of art direction and flavor text mean that the ‘generally good’ mechanics are all we have from it. This card feels like something in the slot of a set skeleton. And you know what, if you’re building a set, there’s nothing wrong with that, and it’s understandable why this card would exist. It just means that there’s not much to say about it beyond the fact that it’s...good. Perhaps the nature of the contest meant that that was more of the mechanical bend, but all the same. Afraid I don’t have much more to say, cap’n.

~

@wolkemesser — The Soilsmith

The reasons why Yedora specifies “nontoken” are numerous, but in general, the face-down restriction is the more important one. The Soilsmith retaining name, mana value, and abilities means that going infinite and abusing sac outlets to basically get unkillable lands with static abilities is...rough. It’s rough! I think it’s inadvertent, but you made a magnificently busted card here. In Limited, this is the card you have to build around and win the game with, and in constructed—I’m thinking Commander—you aren’t going to make any friends here. Besides, it counts ITSELF. Which is disgustingly strong.

I know that Obsidian Fireheart is cool, but that reminder text wouldn’t be as useful as just saying that it remains after The Soilsmith isn’t on the battlefield or whatever. “Rotting” implies decay, and this is permanent. There are...quite a few quibbles with this card, and I do still want to say that it’s a cool idea, but wow, no, it’s mechanically broken. Win some, lose some.

~

One of these cards, IMO, fits next week’s prompt perfectly. Which one?

-@abelzumi

[discet]

What did you think about For the Future?

Bless Dana and the team, they are trying to fit 10 pounds of plot in a 5 pound bag.

I will say, for how ambitious they were, they managed to land a lot of good moments despite how crunched everything was.

I'll start with what I enjoyed. Most of these you can add a "... but I sure wish they had more time to flesh it out/build this up."

Loved Luz's arc in the episode, I'm glad that she wasn't just instantly in a better after Thanks to Them. Her talk with Camilla is probably my highlight of the episode.

I liked the Hexside plot, even with how all over the place it was. I actually did not see that reveal with Kikimora coming and liked both her disguise and updated design. She's so easily hate-able, its great.

Camilla was so great all episode I adored her just being so on board with supporting the kids and so utterly disturbed by the Boiling Isles. She's doing her best for Luz's sake, but man this place isn't for her. "The detention pit!?" I also like that she did her best to fight alongside the kids. Often characters in her role get totally sidelined, so I like that she managed a couple of key saves.

Loved the Palisman reveal. The way that Luz has been associated with snakes since episode one, the way that it connects with Vee her new adopted sister. It's all so great. I'm still curious if its titanic power is something that Luz did or if thats just how new Palisman staffs be.

Enjoyed Eda Lilith and King's little pow wow. Loved Lilith and Eda's designs for this.

Things I was Underwhelmed by. Again, you can take a "I understand that this was a consequence of having to cram a season of television into 3 specials and is not the d" at the end of all of these.

I was kind of bummed by Willow's arc in this one. It was a great concept and arc for her, but its so crammed in between everything else that I feel it got lost in the shuffle. There are visuals I liked. I liked her scene in the cave getting more and more lost in vines, and Hunter and Gus's pep talk trying to help her, but it just needed an episode that they didn't have to really let it all breathe.

Boscha's little arc wrap up also didn't land for me. I don't doubt there's a way to make her have a satisfying resolution to her arc, but they were way overstretched to try to do it between the really juicy parts of this episode. Amity mostly seems annoyed to have to wrap up her dynamic with her when the two have their confrontation in the caves.

Really wished we had gotten more of King and the Collector's dynamic. I really like how King is trying to balance 'big brother' with 'keep this kid from killing everyone on a whim'. It's a shame that the collector was basically asleep for most of this episode. Also felt like King's "We need to deal with him once and for all" felt a little contrived for it to also be a coincidental misunderstanding.

----

Overall, still pumped to see the end. I hope that they tee'd up everything they need for the finale, but I can't help but mourn what could have been.

[icharchivist]

I was having a thought about how in physics, a Singularity is that thing at the center of a black hole, but nobody knows what they're capable of doing. They are utterly unpredictable and have the power to upend causality and basically flip the laws of physics on their heads, if they feel like it. Our only salvation is that they're contained within black holes and as such don't really get out. A black hole's gravitational pull is like super jail, since gravity is a force beyond time and space.

Which is good, because Singularities basically flip time and space around and if you fall into a black hole, the singularity ceases to be "in front of you" in a spatial sense, and instead becomes "your future", as impossible to avoid as tomorrow and as impossible to perceive as time.

I know it sounds weird and complicated and maybe a touch insane, but that's physics.

Now, I don't know to which degree Granblue thought about this before giving the player character these reality bending powers, but I think it's a great fit. An unleashed singularity could destroy the world as we know it. They are unknowable and mysterious but without a doubt very powerful.

Maybe Lyria and Vyrn as pieces of the gods are like the gravity that helps keep us and our powers in line, just as we keep them together and from destroying the world.

Also, there's something funny about Singularities basically destroying causality and how Orologia, the wedge of time and causality, basically raised the player character

Or how in Versus Beelzebub, another singularity, is actually dedicated to twisting causality to suit his own needs. It might even explain, subconsciously, the intense fascination Belial, a primal of Chaos, would have. Maybe that's why he tried to corrupt us, to test our power and see what would happen if we lost control

Anyway, sorry for the long ask, it's just a thought I had. I hope the physics excursion wasn't too weird ^^;

oh wow! thank you for sharing, that was super insightful??

i didn't know about this concept at all but it definitely sold me on the idea that The Singularity in Granblue probably follows this concept.

It really describes Danchou so well and, yeah i agree, Lyria and Vyrn here kind of here therefore balancing out the powers of the Singularity so they don't destroy the world.

And it contrasts well with Beelzebub, another Singularity, who causes chaos and destructions in his wake.

And i really like what you said about their relationship with Casualty and how it goes back to the whole physic thing.

I really like it! Thank you so much for sharing it was extremely insightful! <333

[aprayerforclarity]

4/3

Card: Knight of Wands

Wow, I kind of can't belive it's been three days since my last update. Loved writing a stream of consciousness story with no fear of what it could be. There were several times I thought, "if someone I know reads this, they will absolutely think I am disturbed."

Perhaps I am. But there will be more content like that on this blog. It was fun to write. If I feel inspired enough, I'll finish the saga.

Anyways, I'm still on my quest to tap into unfettered focus and mental energy throughout my day. About a week ago I started reading a book titled Dopamine Nation by Dr. Anna Lemke.

The underlying concept of the novel is that pain and pleasure are just two sides of a seesaw. As humans, we've evolved to have chemicals that give us pleasure in response to actions that benefit us. Without pleasure in activities like eating or sex, we wouldn't really care to do them. When we partake in pleasurable activities, the "pleasure side" of the seesaw begins getting weighed down, and as a result, we feel good.

But here's the kicker- our brain cannot upkeep that amount of chemical pleasure forever. Our brain is constantly trying to maintain homeostasis, or a sustainable balance of chemicals in our heads. So, to go with the seesaw analogy, our brain actually starts loading chemicals onto the "pain side" of the seesaw to balance it out. It seems a bit cruel, but hey, that's life. Really, it's just the brain trying to maintain it's systems, as a constant production of pleasure is unsatainble. (Though imagine after one lick of an ice-cream cone that you'd be in an eternal state of bliss. Reaching nirvana in an ice-cream cone. That'd be so sick.)

Anyways, back to the main point: what goes up, must come down.

We're living in a time where there is hyper-stimulation all around us at all times. With the rise of cellphones that have never-ending access to the internet at all times, we can very quickly find ways to stimulate ourselves anytime we want. We can read articles, participate in debates, watch porn, order food, order drugs, play games- you name it.

Now back to the seesaw analogy. By constantly stimulating ourselves, the pleasure side of the seesaw gets extremely weighed down and we feel GREAT. But, because there's always an extreme weight on the pleasure side, our brain has to really pile on the pain side in order to get that seesaw balanced out.

So, what happens when the pleasure side of the seesaw begins losing weight? The pain side stays weighed down, and we experience an extreme feeling of suffering and pain that manifests in a multitude of different ways. Anxiety, depression, hunger, dissatisfaction with life to name a few.

So, what do we do when we're feeling bad? We turn to the things that make us feel good again. But, because the seesaw i

I've lost focus again. Now I think I'll go to CVS to buy nicotine gum and a ketosis test kit.

The point I've been trying to get to is that I've starting to practice intentional fasting. Yesterday I did about 22 hours but I crashed hard at the end and ended up binging hard on sugar and carbs(as well as plenty of protein)

The day before that I did 26 hours and that was fantastic.

I know I'm going to have to burn through all the carbs I ate last night, so this morning I've felt fairly clouded. BUT, I'm gonna get back on track and only eat a big steak after I go to the gym this evening.

Today I'm planning on working through CSX coding units, and I'm feeling excited about it!!!

[autumnslance]

How much do your characters go into a 'combat frenzy?' Like, are any of them a straight-up cackling menace on the battlefield, while out-of-combat being well-spoken and well-adjusted?

Not specifically; I'll describe the quartet better individually below (Aeryn almost has shades of this), but for most of my characters, combat is a grim reality that must be done. If any of them do act in such ways, it’s usually a calculated action based on the situation and enemy.

I haven't really done much with that "cackling madman who loves to fight" trope. Closest were the various World of Darkness werewolves and vampires I've played, as violence and frenzies are part of their nature and actual gameplay, so I guess I've never seen a "need" to apply it to others. I don't play many barbarians in D&D either, and it's rarely "fit" the personalities or archetypes I tend to gravitate toward in characters.

There's an early scene from Oath of Gold, the final novel in the original The Deed of Paksenarrion trilogy by Elizabeth Moon, where the eponymous character, trying to get over her trauma and curses from the second novel, talks to the druid helping her about how she wishes to feel joy in her war craft again:

"Sir, I have had enough experience to know what comes of fighting for the joy of it alone. It is not that. But I still wish I could feel the joy when it's needed. Or perhaps I should not say needed, since I can do without it, but--I heard a woodworker, sir, say how much he liked the feel of his plane slipping along the grain of the wood, and the smell of the shavings. My father liked being out with his sheep--I can remember him standing on the moor, drawing in great breaths of that wind and smiling. Isn't that natural, in a craftsman, to enjoy his work as well? And I wish for that, to enjoy it sometimes. To pick up a sword with pleasure in its balance, not always overcoming fear of it."

Paks's story is quite formative for how I view fantasy heroes (particularly my old WoW paladin) and shades of it color my characters' development.

(Also if you want a good traditional fantasy series that's not in the grimdark vein though terrible things do happen, written by a former marine with science degrees and is a horse person who understands those animals, writing a story about military life, growing into a true hero, beating back the "lawful stupid" rep of old school D&D paladins, intricate world building and politics between the action, featuring an explicitly AroAce woman lead who has close and meaningful friendships while other characters get their own romances, written initially as a short story gift for a young friend and now grown into a couple series and stories in a rich fantasy world, I will always recommend the Deed and its followup series, Paladin's Legacy)

Iyna shuts down into more of a cold robotic mode after decades in the Imperial system. Procedural, efficient. She doesn't tend to remember many, if any, details later.

Dark handles things with her usual outward practical calm, in some ways engaging similar concepts as her hunting; quick, efficient, clean as possible. Just get it done. She sticks to her songs when with allies. She might be screaming terrified inside, even all these years and the intense treatments and care post-Carteneau.

C'oretta varies between attempting to maintain her cheerful joker facade to buckling down into seriousness, depending on the situation and the stakes. They're more ways of coping with her own fears and concerns.

Aeryn may occasionally throw a snarky quip, but she's usually silent except for her spellcasting and songs. There IS a bit of gremlin to Aeryn; she won't be a frenzied cackler in battle, but her healers and tanks might call her a "menace" given the risks she takes and her impetuous, impatient nature, while seeming so refined and collected to many people (who don't know her well) out of combat.

Speaking of, it's Sunday and time to frazzle my FC healers and tanks in Eureka by having Aeryn wander off and pull all the things...

[angelkurenai]

Heaven on Earth - Dean Winchester x Reader (French Mistake/Soulmates AU)

Title: Heaven on Earth

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Word count: 4,221

Warnings: Spoilers for 15x20 I guess

Prompt: Hey! I love your fics a lot. Especially the French mistake trope ones! I was wondering if you're taking requests cuz if you are I would so love a soulmate french mistake one for the finale.. had been something how you'd give it your own take. If not, it's totally okay I love your work regardless! <3

Imagine instead of dying and going to heaven, Dean is brought back to life by Jack who choses to give Dean the ending he deserves. An ending which he had been hoping to live through but never got the chance. An ending, a life, where he gets to meet his soulmate, you, whose name is written on his wrist and whom he never got to meet simply because you weren’t in the same universe. 

“Huh?” Dean breathed out and blinked several times, letting his eyes adjust to the change of scenery that came a little bit as a shock for all the different kind of reasons than anyone else would expect “Looks like I finally made it. Who would've thought?”

He let an easy smile rest on his lips as he took the scene around him, unfamiliar as it was there was still a great deal of hospitality that made his so comfortable in this lovely tiny living room. It wasn't familiar in any way that meant that he had seen it before but it was something he could very easily get used to, a place to love and call home. So much so that he had to ignore the pang in his chest when he remembered that he couldn't get to show it to his brother, not anytime soon that is. It was something that he would have to accept, no matter how hard it proved to be.

“Weird.” he mumbled, approaching a window and looking outside, the city although again not familiar, looking as calm and normal as it could be “I don't remember this one.”

The change of scenery while, yes, expected after one's death – and Dean was no stranger to the concept – did make him frown at what he was really coming face to face with. “Did they change things around here?”

He asked practically at nobody but that didn't mean that he wouldn't receive an answer “Well, to be fair I do think that chair was by the other side of the room. And those books, she must have moved them too.”

“Son of a-” Dean jumped in surprise and soon pressed his fist against his mouth to stop himself from continuing that sentence. Before he even had the chance to wonder if it was even right to swear in a place like this, all words died out in his lips when he turned to face the person that spoke up.

“Jack?” he whispered, almost in disbelief; his eyes widening.

“He-hello-” a small huff left Jack's lips when Dean closed the distance and enveloped the boy in a hug which he returned “Hello Dean, it's good to see you again. Though I don't believe it has been that long.”

“Yeah” Dean laughed “Way to rub it in my face how I fucked it up so soon huh?”

“You never... I never said you did, Dean.” Jack frowned slightly, tilting his head to the side “You've done great. You have done so in fact your entire life, even when it was exceptionally hard, even when other men would have given up. You kept going. And, yes, it might have been rather painful sometimes and exhausting and seemed never-ending, but it did. It ended. And this is what you get, this is your ending Dean. Peace. I-” Jack paused, looking around “I wanted to do some things differently but it is not all up to me, there are rules to the universe and how it works. Balance you see. So, I'm... sorry that Sam can't be here, not yet at least.”

“Alright kid, don't make me tear up already, will ya?” he joked but looked away when he felt the pang in his chest again. Heaven or no heaven, he was dead and Sam was alone. Miracle too. And oh that still hurt and it would hurt for a long while.

He cleared his throat and spoke up again, instead “Ah yeah, pretty much got that. But no, no Jack you've- you've done more than just enough. Not that there are a lot of options for the other side, but given everything this is really the best one so- thank you. This- this is good. Real good.” Dean looked at his friend, trying to convey as much of his gratitude as possible. For what he didn't know where to begin with, especially after everything that Jack had done but maybe more than anything it was about how Sam wasn't there with him. Not yet, and hopefully not before he'd lived a full and happy life.

“You're welcome. You deserve it.” Jack shrugged once more, smile bright on his face.

“So you uh you stayin' or will you be gone soon? This place is kind of... strange to me, but I'm sure there must be a kitchen somewhere. Could get you something?” he suggested, already making his way around the place while trying to figure out where the kitchen was. It was a small apartment though so it didn't take long for him to figure it out; Jack closely following along.

“Uhm no I won't be staying long, I just wanted to come and see if you're all settled, if you've rested and all that.” he shrugged softly.

“Well, I'm more or less dead, so hey-” he actually found himself chuckling and ignoring the frown that set on Jack's face “Can't get any more rest than that, right?” he opened the fridge and started looking for a beer, speaking again before Jack had the chance to do so and voice his concerns “So uh, love what you did with the place. What was it really again?” he pointed to the living room's direction as he closed the fridge, setting the pie and a beer in front of him.

“Oh uh-” Jack blinked, looking towards the living room “I told you, it wasn't really me. (Y/n). She must have moved around some of the furniture. I'm pretty sure the books too.”

He tried not to let it show. He prayed that it didn't show. He knew that that Jack wouldn't question it, but that didn't mean that it wasn't there. That it didn't happened. That his heart didn't do that same crazy jump and his hand, if not his entire being, shook at the mention of the name. Jack didn't even blink and as he brought the beer to his suddenly dry lips he thought that maybe he'd gotten the hang of it after practically a lifetime. A lifetime without a soulmate that is. And the thought slipped in his mind like it always did and he bit the inside of his cheek to get himself under control. Jack didn't know and Dean was far from in the mood to talk about another, if not the most, painful chapter of his life. Maybe... hopefully he had gotten better with the years and none of it showed.

“No uh that's not exactly what I meant, buddy. But never mind.” he could feel his throat closing, his body betraying him with that same unbearable grief only an empty side of the bed could bring, so he made sure to speak up before it got the best of him the way it usually did “You creating angels now too?”

“Angels?” Jack frowned before he shook his head, clearly confused “No, I- Not yet. But... (Y/n) is not an angel. She's human.” another soft shrug.

And there was the name again, for the second time in less than a minute. Too much too soon for Dean to take. He found himself sitting in one of the two only chairs in the kitchen. His hand found its way to his wrist, subconsciously rubbing over the ink that covered his skin ever since he was a teen. Maybe it brought some kind of comfort, got him the chance to feel like you were close by and offering him comfort yourself when in reality all he had was your name and, thank heavens, no line over it. He didn't know how he'd get to deal with the fact if he was ever to see a line. He was thankful that at least up until the moment he died the words were there, solid and beautifully curved to form your name, until the very last moment he was able to feel their warmth. Up until it all was enveloped in darkness. His life had not had many advantages or comforts, but knowing that you were safe (even if far away from him) was more than enough to make up for all of it.

Though that thought now brought about another storm of dangerous, if not painful, ideas. Ideas about how you were going to deal with his death. Dean was and would always be weak about you, even if he'd never met you. He didn't know how he'd take it and now he had to consider, think and imagine how you'd deal with a line over his name on your wrist.

The mere thought made his heart twist painfully in his chest quiet similar but also so different to any other time. To hurt you was the last thing he'd ever want. And knowing that he had inevitably caused that, well, it would make resting ten times more hard.

“Humans making changes around heaven, wow. Jack you're really stepped up your game up here.” he went for nonchalant and hoped it worked.

“Humans...” Jack narrowed his eyes with a tilt of his head before it seemed to dawn on him and his eyes widened softly “Dean... you're right, there have been changes in heaven. I felt like it was time to move on, that it was time for things to be done different by someone who cares. By someone who wouldn't abandon it all and not care to listen. It's exactly why I asked for Castiel's help, anyway.” the name caught the hunter's attention and he did pause to frown but Jack didn't stop his words, he kept talking “We changed things so that heaven wouldn't about reliving your favorite memory. It would be simply about living. Living on forever and about to make new memories.”

“So that's what it was huh? And here I wondered when-”

“B-But this is not about any of it! That's what you don't get.” Jack said fast enough, cutting Dean off who blinked in surprise.

“Do I have to ask what it is or will you just go off rambling again? You seem to be on a roll today.” he took a sip of his beer, his lips pulling into a smile that he could barely feel in all honesty.

Just following along some very familiar, painfully familiar, steps. Making small talk about anything and everything that his mind could come up with, was one of them. Anything as long as his treacherous heart stopped with the painful beats. But the echo of your name in his head didn't seem to want to die out and he had to try harder.

That is if Jack didn't-

“It's simple.” he smiled sweetly “(Y/n).”

“A-Alright-” his voice shook and he hated himself for letting it show, but he was a weak man deep down and there was only so much he could take “Listen buddy. I don't know what's happened with you or who this-” he choked on his words.

Oh dear, he choked on his words. That had not happened to him in years, and yet here he was. Unable to say the name of the soulmate he had never met. Unable to say the name of the woman whom he dreamed about every night, coming up with you'd look like, what you'd be like in and out. He choked because while it has been a long time, he could still not fight the longing or ache in his soul whenever h heard the name. And best, or maybe worst, of all is that he couldn't fight the hope that rose in his chest. So many cases, so many places visited and whenever he heard that name he both prayed and feared it was you.

So many times he got his hopes up. And so many times all those hopes turned into mere dust, slipping through his fingers. Each time more painful than the previous. Leading, ultimately, to a life without you.

Really, he could only take so much after hearing your name so many times in only a few seconds. He just couldn't do it to himself, couldn't bring himself to say it. He took a deep breath in and clenched his fists “I don't know who that chick is, or what you've really trying to do here. I'm just thankful for everything you've done because this-” he looked around him with a fond smile “This place is more than good for him. It is, both literally and figuratively, heaven.”

“Well, that's just it.” Jack tilted his head to the side “This... is not heaven.”

“Oh yeah? Well, it sure as heck doesn't seem like hell either. Unless they did some general uh renovations?” he asked, almost playfully, as he looked around with a nod of his head “Oh yes, lovely color on that wall right there. Goes well with the-”

“(Y/n) picked it.” Jack shrugged, the name effectively managing to close Dean's mouth shut - and he almost glared at the boy for thinking that he could be doing it on purpose at this point “And this-” he turned back to Dean, face still serious “Is not hell either.”

Oh really now? Then, it does seem like pur-

“No, Dean.” Jack said firmly, cutting him off “You- you're not dead.”

“Uh you sure about that buddy? Cause I think I can remember pretty vividly that I got impaled. Like, Olaf from Frozen style and all.” Dean scoffed a small laugh, taking a sip of the beer. And boy, was he dead, but that still tasted good enough.

“Well, yes but actually no. See, you were on the brink of death but that doesn't mean you have really died. I saw it. I saw it all, I was there and kept you alive or, well, almost-dead long enough for Sam to... give you a hunter's funeral and then for me to put you back together, to heal every would and bring you here.” a smile slowly spread on his lips “This other world. To live in. To make new memories as I told you.”

“What- What's that supposed to mean?” Dean's voice got more gruff as realization start to dawn on him that Jack was very much serious about all of it “And, anyway, didn't destroy every other world there was?”

“When I brought everyone back on your world, I- I was able to do the same with every other world he had destroyed. Including this one. Dean, I mean-” he laughed softly “Did you really think, that after everything you'd been through, after everything you'd given for that world, after all the people you'd saved that I- I would just be another version of Chuck that let that be your ending? You deserve this. You deserve to live this life, a life where you have all you really want. I mean Sam is not here, sure, but soon I hope I will be able to come here too.

“Hold up. You really mean to say that I- I'm- I'm alive?” Dean frowned deeply when Jack nodded “Then wh-what the hell am I doing here? Why the fuck am I not back home? What kind of shitty game-”

“Because you can't. It's- It disrupts balance. Anything hat dies must stay dead, that's a rule that has been broken too many times and we couldn't bear it anymore. However, here-” he looked around him with a smile “You can be alive. And you can live a long, happy life. Without regrets.”

At this point Dean had every reason to think the kid was doing it on purpose. First mentioning your name so often and now, now this was not just pouring alcohol into an open would but rather tearing it open even more. Because yes, he had many regrets in life. Far more than he could ever count. Some of them he was or could get to overcome easily so. But his biggest ones? The ones related to you would always be there, though, and they would always haunt him worse than his nightmares.

“Why here then? What does this world have that I could possibly want so much as to-”

But before Dean could ever get to complete his sentence, let alone get a reply - one that wouldn't really cause him a heart attack - the door burst open with a loud thud. Dean jumped in his place, a frown on his face and worry starting to slip into his very own bones when Jack rose from his seat with a smile. But before he could even bring himself to question it, he moved away from his seat and made his way to the door with only a few long strides. Only to be met with the sight of one too many bags from the market, filled to the brim with food and other essentials, and the sound of an annoyed -but entirely adorable if he could say so -grumbling and cursing.

“Bloody idiots. Ignorant people. Fucking idiocy more infinite than the whole damn universe. Worse than the pandemic itself.” he saw you pull the mask you were wearing away angrily, only to look more cute in Dean's eyes and alright, a bit more than just cute because he was not dead after all and if did run into you anywhere else he would gladly try his luck, but this was far from an ideal situation, especially as you-

“No wonder Chuck would wanna snap those away. Heck wouldn't I-” but your words were cut off as a screamed ripped through your lips the second you closed the door and turned towards them, probably for the first time realizing they were there and as expected the bags you were holding fell from your hands.

“What the fuck?!” you yelped, hand pressed over your chest as you stared at him with wide eyes.

“Whoa whoa it's ok, calm down. Calm down. We're not gonna hurt you. It's alright, we-”

“Calm down!? You almost gave me a freaking heart attack dude! Because when I said that I would die a happy woman if I were to meet Jensen Ackles even once after that finale, the scenario of chapter one of a bad soulmates fanfic is not what I had in mind! You- You-” you looked around after trying to take a few calming breathes “You just broke into my apartment.” you almost whispered in disbelief “Have you gone insane, man? Who the hell is 'we'?”

“Oh, right. She can't see me.” Jack told him only afterwards and Dean rolled his eyes at his friend.

“Oh great, thanks for the heads up, buddy.” he muttered to his friend. He shook his head before dragging a hand down his face. He then looked at you, finally taking a good look at you and trying not to let his confusion show at the weird flip his heart did “Listen, I'm not crazy, I swear. I'm sure this may look very confusing and hard to explain but I can assure you that once you hear me out, everything will make sense. Just- just don't scream again, yeah? Or freak out or anything.”

“Nah it's cool. I mean why would I freak out? Because the actor I, more or less, look up to and have been a fan of for years is standing in the middle of my crappy and messy living room, dressed as my favorite character on top of that. Without any previous warning or time for me to prepare. Yeah, pff-” you scoffed, waving your hand “Why would I freak out? I can be calm. It's not like this is some kind of dream coming true, anyway. I can be the definition of calm this moment. I'm not freaking out.”

“...You're freaking out.” he said after barely three seconds. Letting you take a few deep breaths of air to calm yourself down, because apparently you needed it. Even if he didn't understand why.

“I'm definitely freaking out.” you admitted, nodding at him as you pressed your lips in an adorable pout which was too distracting if he could admit so to himself after blowing out some air.

“Better now?” he asked hopefully and you held his gaze for a few seconds before shaking your head.

“Definitely not. This might take an hour or two. Or maybe a month? Just- just to let it all settle in you know? I'm dreaming, I definitely must be dreaming. You're just a dream huh? Come on, just admit it. It will be easier to accept. I mean-” you shrugged, looking away with a shrug as you mumbled, mostly to yourself “Wouldn't be the first time.”

“I'm- Sorry, what?” he asked after a few seconds. Maybe Jack was right, this was better than heaven.

“Nothing.” you shook your head fast, and in a far too adorable way “Nothing. I didn't say a thing.” you cleared your throat and looked away from him, letting out a sigh as Dean bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from grinning like an idiot. Instead, let himself chuckle at your too-adorable ramble that followed “This is- this is insane. If I knew that 2020 would end with me meeting Jensen Ackles then I would have never judged its ability to pull the craziest shit on us.”

“Je- Who?” Dean blinked a couple times though, before letting out a long sight and shaking his head “Really?” he just looked straight at Jack, not caring how crazy he looked at that moment “But of all those worlds, it had to be this one? You know what buddy? Maybe I'd have rather stayed dead.”

“No you wouldn't. I know. So do you.” Jack said with a far-too-knowing smile that made Dean narrow his eyes at him.

“Yeah” you dragged the word, effectively getting his attention - not that it was that hard for you “Sure. Not crazy at all.” you chuckled.

“Not crazy, sweetheart.” he shrugged “And certainly not Jensen Ackles, sorry to disappoint.”

Oh yeah? Then if you're not Jensen who are you? Dean Winchester?” you raised an eyebrow, smile playful on your lips and far too distracting for Dean, but there was no way he would dare admit it.

Confusion passed through his eyes before his interest was peaked “Bingo. You couldn't be more right, sweetheart.”

“Aha sure.” you still chuckled, lips pulling into a smirk that he liked more than he should already “There are cameras set around here, right? Like, of course there are. Is this some kind of goodbye gift though, to the fans for the finale and what not?” you started looking around for said cameras. He momentarily got distracted by the distance that only lessened between the two of you as you moved around him.

He made sure to snap out of it though before he made too much of a fool of himself “Oh don't know what cameras you're talking about but this- it ain't that. It's more complicated than that. As in-” he shrugged “I went on a hunt with Sammy, I died, he burned the body, Jack here whom you cannot see put my back together again am guessing kinda like a human puzzle, stuffed my soul back inside and dropped my ass on your living room without a warning. So, really, it's just as much of a shock to me as it is to you.”

“So you're keeping it up huh? Alright then. I'll go along with it. I am guessing that since I am also part of this story, I should probably introduce myself hm?” you smirked and he shrugged, playful as well.

“Well, it wouldn't be bad anyway. Until you believe me, that is. And Figured I should put a name to the beautiful face.” he tried to seem casual about it but he was anything but “Dean Winchester, pleasure to meet ya. And sorry for crashing in the middle of your apartment like this.”

“Wonderful.” but instead of reaching for his extended hand to shake, you grabbed a grocery bag and handed it to him cheekily “Help me place all these stuff in their place and I might just forgive you.” you shrugged grabbing some of the bags and making your way to the kitchen, only to pause when you realized he wasn't following “What? Saving people, hunting things, the family business, ain't it? Well, there is no monster here to hunt but oh could I use some saving from the terribly exhausting job of cleaning these.”

“You- for real?” he gaped at you in disbelief.

“Hmh. Couldn't be more real. Take the rest, will you?” you grinned at him and started walking towards the kitchen again, leaving him to stare after you and maybe take a few seconds to bathe in the warmth you laughter brought to him. Dean only shook his head, laughing to himself as well before started to grab the rest of the bags, noticing how you'd left the heavier back on purpose.

But it was during moments like this, when he really felt like there would be no troubles and no more thoughts that the world pulled the most cruel kind of jokes on him. And instead of calm, his world fell apart... or in this case fell into perfect place. For the first time now, in his entire life.

“Oh and for you help, a reward is in accord. Name's (Y/n) (Y/l/n), and it is a pleasure.”

Only for Jack to add in a low voice barely three seconds later and verify each and every thought and fear and hope running through his veins in that moment.

“Because this world has the one that can give you the real heaven, on Earth. Your soulmate.”

[thefirsttree]

A personal update + my next game

OK, time to do this. I’ve been meaning to do a big DAVID WEHLE™ update for a while now and explain why I haven’t released a new game yet, but you know how life gets in the way. Especially when life is a quarantine hellscape, you have three beautiful, amazing, exhausting kids to raise, a spouse’s job you support, a viral YouTube channel that turns your brain to mush, a thousand emails waiting in your inbox since your game is free on the Epic Games Store (with an impressive number of redemptions too! … meaning lots of emails and customer support issues), etc., etc. What also contributes to my lack of updates is because… I just don’t really like posting online. Fascinating correlation, I know!

Don’t worry, this isn’t going to be a venting/ranting blog post (well, maybe a bit), because my life is seriously AMAZING and INSANELY BLESSED and LUCKY. I can’t believe how many dreams keep coming true, so much so that I feel I don’t deserve it and I really pulled the wool over everyone’s eyes… but I did want to at least be honest, because I owe that to myself.

Wow, where do I even begin? Well, how about we start with the reason I’m even a full-time indie game dev now: The First Tree. This small hobby project I worked on at night morphed into this gargantuan beast (or fox) that took over my life the past 5 years. Which is great! I’m living the dream! And yet, I really didn’t expect it to do as well as it did. At its core, my game is a slow-paced, sad walking simulator (ahem, I prefer the term “exploration game,” but you know what I mean) that somehow seemed to launch at the right time to the right audience. It resonated deeply with some of you, and for that I’m eternally grateful. I still get emails almost daily how my game changed their lives in some formative way. I’m beyond honored.

However, with that spotlight came criticism and demands from the ever-present, insatiable internet. I would randomly be surfing the gamedev subreddit trying to decompress, and I would see a comment by some rando saying how much I didn’t deserve my success, and how it was all one huge lucky fluke. And I believed them!

And to add to it, some devs considered me an indie marketing “guru”, which I was uncomfortable with. I worked hard to market my game every week, and after my GDC talk, people assumed marketing was my passion; the reason I got up every morning. Just to clarify… NO, I don’t like marketing, and I hate being the center of attention. I don’t like asking people for money and wishlists. But I did what was necessary because I was passionate about telling stories, and I wanted to give my story a fighting chance to be seen on the crowded pages of Steam.

So now, you’re probably wondering “well then David, why did you make fancy YouTube videos showing off your success? Not very modest if you ask me.” This honestly could be a long blog post all on its own, because my experience of putting myself in the spotlight and becoming a “content creator” is… complicated. It was an unusual step for me, especially since I never even showed my face online (as a game developer) until my GDC talk.

First off, I always wanted to teach and start a YouTube channel. I love video editing, especially since I’ve been doing it longer than making games! It’s a huge passion of mine. And teaching people who didn’t know they could make and finish games was a huge motivator (and it’s been so rewarding already). But the second reason is, I was scared. I was self-employed, and I was riding the success of a “huge lucky fluke” that would probably not happen again. I wanted to make sure I could provide for my amazing family, and give them food and health insurance and security in these tumultuous times. I was turning my lifelong passions and hobbies into a business, and it wasn’t as simple of a mental transition as I thought.

So, I went all in on YouTube and the accompanying online course called Game Dev Unlocked. I spent years editing the scripts and videos, and polishing them to a shine. At first, no one watched my videos, no one was buying… and in the blink of an eye, the YouTube algorithm picked up my main autobiographical video (“How Making Indie Games Changed My Life”), and I started getting 5,000 subscribers a day. Right now, I’m at 150,000 subs, which is still hard for me to believe. I always had a dream of earning 100k subs on YouTube, so I was pretty happy with the whole thing. Sales were OK, but mostly people didn’t want to buy the course. Then the emails came in…

Something you should know about me: I am a textbook “people pleaser,” and if someone asks for my help, I take it very seriously. If someone is mad at me, even if I didn’t do anything wrong, it’s all I can think about, and it ruins my day. So, taking an onslaught of people begging for help and multiplying that by an impossible amount of people for my brain to truly comprehend thanks to the internet… and let’s just say it wasn’t a healthy mix.

I received thousands of emails from people who were begging me for some kind of reassurance that everything would be OK. That their dreams would come true too. And I wanted to help every single one of them. I went from a nobody working on a game for fun to becoming a spokesperson for the indie game dream. I couldn’t even get a shake from the Chick-Fil-A drive-thru without someone recognizing me and asking for game dev advice. And it didn’t stop there… I would get emails from suicidal kids asking for help, teenagers from Afghanistan asking me to get them out of their country, and on one occasion I received an email from a hopeful game developer in a war-torn country who had just experienced a bomb blowing up their neighboring village. His friends were dead, and he was hoping he could finish a game before he died too, and he needed my help. How do you say no to something like that? Didn’t I owe it to everyone because I was lucky with my hit game and I needed to “pay it forward”? (Something people constantly reminded me of)

And then to top it off, after you’ve given everything you’ve got to other people in need… you get hate mail in your inbox. You spend the whole day serving your children and strangers on the internet, then when the kids are finally asleep, you hit the bed to relax and take a look at your phone to decompress, and you randomly come across an angry gamer in your Twitter mentions telling you your game they got for free sucks, and that you took away a potentially great game from them and that your apology isn’t good enough.

Long story short, I went to a mental therapist for the first time in my life. I was broken trying to care for two toddlers and a new baby in a pandemic (which is very, very hard), taking care of my course students who gave me their hard-earned money and demanded results, and the countless people begging for help on the internet. I was this introverted, internet-lurker trying to take on the weight of the world. I was so tired and hurt that no one cared about me and my needs… only what I could do for them.

Quitting my day job and making this hobby my full-time job has stirred up… mixed emotions. This statement may disturb some of you, but I was definitely 100% happier when I had a full-time job and I was working on my game at night. I missed working with the amazing team at The VOID, working on Star Wars… back when the success of my game was this abstract thing I could only daydream about. Mostly, I was making my game for me with no outside expectations to pay the bills or satisfy the ever-demanding internet, and that brought me a lot of joy.

It’s not all doom and gloom though! I’m actually very happy now and in the best shape I’ve been since the pandemic started. I’ve had to confront my weaknesses and personality quirks, but I’m a better person for it (and I’m sure these issues would’ve come out eventually). I hired an awesome community manager for Game Dev Unlocked who is helping SO MUCH with the emails, I can’t even tell you the mental burden it alleviates. I even leased a co-working office to help separate work from my home, and that’s been a huge help too. I’ve decided to work with my old friends from The VOID on a cool, new VR experience. It will take me away from my projects a bit, but I’m ecstatic to work with a great team again (and not manage anything, whew).

These are all things I would’ve never guessed I needed, because I thought I knew myself pretty well… turns out I didn’t.

The reality is: running a business is HARD. Running it solo is even harder. You have to remember, I was burnt out on The First Tree well into the Steam release in 2017, but I kept working on it for 4 more years due to my fears of failing again and not earning enough money for my family.

So, I was wrestling with the age-old concept of commercialism and art. There was this dichotomy of doing whatever I wanted and being true to my vision (what most people assume the indie dev dream is like), and doing only what customers wanted to buy. This is something that has killed me with YouTube… in one specific instance, I was super excited to make the exact video I wanted to make. I loved every part of its creation, and I thought it had a message that would inspire everyone. I lovingly edited it over several weeks, posted it, and excitedly waited for the stats… and it was by far my worst performing video.

This is not a new problem. Even the Sistine Chapel by Michelangelo was a commission forced upon him by the very violent Pope Julius II. My wife and I regularly talk about the fine balance between artistic integrity and commercialism, a problem she is very familiar with as an artist who constantly needs to balance what she wants to make with what the customer wants to hang up in their home.

For The First Tree, I was lucky. It was pretty much what I wanted to make (I had to compromise a lot of things of course), and it turned out millions of people wanted it too. Recently, I thought the safe business decision would be to do it all over again, so I started work on a spiritual successor to The First Tree (an idea that I may revisit one day since I do love the story idea). But that isn’t happening anytime soon. Trust me when I say I am now currently burnt out on animal exploration games.

So that realization left me with a question: what do I do next?

I’ve decided I need to make a game that I want to make, for me. It will be a bit different and I’m almost certain most fans of The First Tree will not love it… but it’s an idea that gets me super excited. It’s an idea that could help me fall in love with game development again.

A few more details: this game will be story-driven, first-person, and will use the Unreal Engine. That means development is gonna be slow going, because I have to learn a whole new tool. The “smart business” decision would be to make something quickly in Unity which I’m already familiar with… but I want to do this for me, and UE5 looks like a lot of fun. I’m also shooting for an early-ish release date so I avoid burn out and I keep the game short: I want to release it in Fall 2022, but knowing game development, it will probably take longer.

With the help of my therapist, I’ve also concluded that I’ve been too accessible on the internet and that my self-worth isn’t determined by the amount of people I try to help online. Of course, I love helping people and seeing them succeed, but I need to step back and focus on my family and myself. I will delete my social media apps on my phone (I will still post big updates occasionally) and stop responding to most emails, tweets, DMs, etc. It’s not that I’m ungrateful… in fact, if I don’t say thank you or at least acknowledge the incredibly nice people who share a sweet message about my game or want to tell me how I inspire them (still hard for me to believe, lol), I feel a ton of guilt… but I need to let that go. Please know I’m extremely grateful to all the fans who follow my work, so even if I don’t thank you directly, I truly mean it: thank you.

I will still post and stream occasionally on YouTube when I want to (and I still do live Q&A’s for my GDU students). The online course sales will help support my family as I work on a potentially risky game idea (and my new job will help alleviate the risk too). I’m gonna try one more marketing experiment and sell a mini-course soon (and add an Unreal section), and after that I’m done working on it. A gigantic thank you to the people who bought my course and are part of the amazing community, it has helped me and my family tremendously, and it’s inspiring seeing the games you make!

I’m a bit worried about the whole thing since this new game idea could flop, which could definitely affect my family. But a sappy, high-school yearbook quote is coming to mind…  I think it applies here: “A ship in harbor is safe—but that is not what ships are built for.”

Thanks for reading,

David

[idanit]

possibly underappreciated Good Omens fics I enjoyed once upon a time

Indirectly inspired by a video series about fanfiction I watched, I decided to pull together a list of Good Omens fics I have bookmarked as stories I enjoyed, but which have less than 250-300 kudos at the time I’m writing this. No particular order. They’re accompanied by short excerpts from my private fic reading notes (not originally intended to be read by anyone but me, mind), sometimes slightly edited for clarity—and, sometimes, the comments I left on the fics.

This list sat in my drafts for a long time and the recent S2 announcement reminded me of it. I’d love it if it inspired you to do something similar! Spread the love.

And mind the tags, please.

△ = general and teen ▲ = mature and explicit 

thermodynamic equilibrium ▲ 7K the author has such an ear for dialogue and is unapologetic about what they want to write the characters like. They think of the characters as a mix of TV and book canon, but they feel like a homemade blend to me. (...) It’s very funny.

such dear follies ▲ 6K I can really picture this Aziraphale—Crowley as well, but her especially. She’s rather distinct. (...) Nice writing.

The Words Were With - △ 1.2K post-Blitz vignette, Aziraphale realizes what he feels and wonders if they're human enough for this. I liked it, and I liked the tag "transhumanism, but in reverse?", too—what an interesting idea. I'd say it's a vignette in a dire need of a follow-up, but, well, there's the show. The show is the follow-up. It fits very nicely within the canon and I totally believe it could have happened, like a deleted scene.

Gossip and Good Counsel △ 19K/? I love their companionship and how they're set up to be opposites by the management even though they get on pretty well. It feels very in keeping with the canon, but I feel like the fact that it's an F/F set in this particular time period adds a meaningful layer to the situation. It's women supporting each other in the world of men, working with the personas that are created for them, but, privately, being normal, well-rounded people. (...) and of course your writing is always a pleasure to read. (...) SDHDGDHDHDG Maisie is truly an Aziraphale.

Crowley Went Down to Georgia (he was looking for a soul to steal) △ 6K This was nice. Based on a song I didn’t know. Crowley goes to a funeral in the USA, one of a fiddler he knew and lost a bet to once. (...) The fic has not one but two songs composed for it and embedded inside it and that makes it even better. I really enjoyed the experience.

The Thing With Feathers △ 18K WARLOCK you'rE HORRIBLE AND I LOVE IT I would read an entire novel-length fic just of Crowley fighting his battles with Warlock. Written like this? It would be a blast. (...) The OCs are believably characterized and well-loved by the story. (...) Everyone seems to need a friend in this house. (...) This was so fun, and at the same time, their mission has weight here (...) We wonder about what the future holds even though we know it.

Here Quiet Find △ 11K This fic aimed for my head and the aim was sure precise. It was a story of Crowley sensing Aziraphale's distress and finding him in a self-quarantined English village in the seventeenth century, tired and anxious. It's hurt/comfort, so there was washing and bedsharing and I had to love it, so I did.

outside of time △ 2K Post-Almostgeddon, (...) nicely-written, short, but strung with a soft kind of tension and unspoken words. There's no drama, just "can we really", and "do you really" of sudden freedom. They fall into being inseparable. Book canon, which I like for this story (sitting on a tarmac). I liked the footnotes. There's a mention of Eliot. All in all, very much yes.

She'asani Yisrael △ 2K It’s Crowley going through a two-hour service and drinking blessed wine. He also keeps an eye on a boy he was asked to. It’s 1946. It was pretty good, so far the best Jewish GO fic, I think, from the ones I’ve read.

To Guard The Eastern Gate △ 11K  I loved it. You really made Sodom feel lived-in; the description of Keret, Hurriya and Yassib's house and relationship were great. I got attached to both them and the city (...) Aziraphale and Crawley’s interactions were generally very entertaining. I laughed (...) Your rendering of their voices just lands so well (...) But then oh, the entire ending (...) hurt, hurt a lot, and your descriptions are so vivid.

If you’ve been waiting (for falling in love) △ 14K AAAAA a good ending line. The whole paragraph, in fact. I love a good smattering of philosophy in my fics, and this was really nice. I can get behind Thomas Aequinus's and Crowley's view on eternity. It's (...) a pretty simple fic (...) - the courage to express yourself and take a risk is awarded with winning what was at stake by the virtue of reciprocity - but the way it was intertwined with a study of how they would experience a forever was done well. 

Holy unnecessary ▲ 2.2K It's well-written. (...) this is my type of sexual humour if I have any. So subtle. Blink and you'll miss it. Lovely.

The Parting Glass △ 17K Through the ages, they're dancing around their relationship until after the Armageddoff. (...) Wow, this was really, really nice. Very simple in its concept and nothing I haven't read before, but very well-executed. (...) AAAAH I LOVED the first chapter. I always like abbeys as settings, that's a given, but the banter, the good writing, the moral ambiguity!

Name The Sky △ 33K This Crowley is different, but very intriguing. Without his sarcastic talk, and much more animalistic. (...) I love how expressive Crowley is. (...) This fic has a very nice balance of drama and levity. I don't love Crowley-before-the-Fall stories very much, but with this execution I can read about it. (...) Okay I've read Crowley offering fruits, and even Aziraphale biting fruits, but the two of them sharing the apple? Outstanding. Ingenious. What a take.

A Flame in Your Heart △ 5K post-Blitz (why are so many dance fics post-Blitz?), they go to the bookshop and have an actually believable conversation. Then they dance the gavotte. It was really nice! Believable writing, emotions, the dancing! (...) Of course it's too early for them, (...) but the author's note? yeah.

Put down the apple, Adam, and come away with me ▲ 32K At this point it's just reading original stories with characters with names and some personality traits that I recognize. (...) I really enjoy this, the careful dance, the opposition between their views. (...) This is well-written, wow. (...) it's not an easy read (...) this story feels very believably 50s, but also reaches out to the present time. 

Liebestraum ▲ 10K/? It really is like music. I'm enjoying the writing a lot. (...) oh my actual god. This, this? Wow, uh. This came for my throat. (...) THE MUSICAL COMPOSITION, THE MOTIF RETURNING, THE AUTHOR KNOWS WHERE IT'S AT (...) Excellent. This hits the right beats so precisely, (...) and with feeling, too.

Down Comforter △ 2.4K and they lay down in angeldown, a soft rug ‘neath their heads– alright. Well, Crowley lies under Aziraphale's wing on a Persian rug after the Apocalypse, and they talk (...). It was sweet.

The Corsair of Carcosa △ 5K Crowley wakes up from a nap, visits Aziraphale for some drinking, and they read The King in Yellow that he happens to own. Good writing, so I'm bought. Aziraphale mentions Beardsley, so I'm bought twice over. My god, a discussion of etheral/occult madness? Caused by some wrong/true reading? Yes.

Very Good, Omens! △ 6K It's rather well-written, well-pastiched. People don't do that too often, nowadays - try to write in the style of a particular writer. (...) I love wordplay like this.

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[btssmutficslovingfan01]

The Afterparty

Summary: You’ve been a fan of BTS for seven years and counting. When you see them at the GRAMMYs after-party, you’re surprised to find that no one is even going up to talk to them. They’re making a spectacle of them, as the boys lounge lazily on the couches. With sweaty palms, you finally manage to stutter out a “hello,” to Namjoon, the leader of the group. A lot can happen in one night, especially when you’re the only one who makes them feel welcome.

Words: 6.8k

Pairing: BTS x Reader (all members)

Genre: Smut, pwp

Warnings: Gangbang, Vanilla sex, Oral (m & f receiving), spit-roasting, Unprotected Sex, Bad use of condoms (if you have them, use ‘em!), Double Penetration, Sex toys, rope-play, hints at Jungkook getting together with reader, possessive pillow-talk

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“Hey guys, I’m a huge fan.” You wave at all the members, feeling immediately small as they say a small “hello” back. It was your first time getting tickets to a huge awards show, much less coming to an afterparty where only the hottest celebrities gather together for one night. You weren’t a celebrity, but at least you were making an effort to talk to them without clout-chasing.

They could tell you were nervous, so Joon speaks to you in a soft voice.

“Hi, it’s always great to meet a fan. How long have you been listening to our music?” You look down, feeling too dizzy to look at him directly in the eyes. You could feel the eyes of jealous onlookers on you as you speak to your favorite artist.

“Seven years. I found out about you guys during the ORUL8,2? Era. I fell in love with your cute grunge band type theme there.” Namjoon, for the first time in a long time, actually blushes at your words. As he rubs his neck, Hoseok and Jin who were sitting next to him gaze at you in bewilderment.

“Yeah, not my greatest era.” His genuine laugh catches everyone off-guard, they thought they weren’t supposed to socialize with anyone.

“I love your songs though, and your lyrics are amazing. Jin, may I just say, Epiphany was so well sung. I even got a tattoo of the lyrics!” You pull your sleeve up to show Jin your tattoo. He exclaims, “Wow.” before setting your arm down. “By the way, when is D-2 gonna come out, Yoongi? The first one was so good. Oh sorry, was I rambling? Oh God, I’m rambling.” You sigh in embarrassment as the members find themselves thinking about how cute you look all self-aware of your surroundings. 

“It’s fine. Here, you can sit between Jimin and Yoongi. There’s room on the seat of the couch, since they decided to take the armrests.” You can’t believe you’re between your bias and biaswrecker. Well, you are an OT7 bias, but you were sitting at the hip level between the two men. Who you idolize. 13-year old you is dying.

“So, Yoongi...are you at least bringing back Tony Montana for a studio version?” Jimin says something to him in Korean before shoving him playfully and then Yoongi turns to you, saying,

“Sorry, no spoilers.”

“Okay, I’m not an interviewer or a reporter. You can tell me, honestly, are you fluent in English?” You direct the question to both the boys as they give you cheeky smiles before Jimin leans in and whispers seductively in your ear. “Yes. We all know English but we pretend like we don’t because we’re too lazy to answer stupid questions.” You blush at the close proximity but mostly because it sounded like Jimin was telling you to piss off.

“Wow. You guys are cool. I could never act so well,” You find yourself more at ease with them, locking eyes with Taehyung across on the other couch opposite of you, with Jungkook on his phone and too distracted to notice your silent eye-fucking. You wouldn’t know, you were too oblivious to pick up on his arousal. He wanted you, bad. “Well, I’m gonna head down to the snack table. Anyone want anything?” This time Jungkook looks up, tucking his phone into his pocket before running after you.

“Me too.” His broken English is so cute, as he follows you to the table to find a feast. He licks his lips, in seeing the giant chicken untouched and ready for consumption. Out of the corner of your eye, you see a couple of girls pretending like they’re scrolling through their phones and taking pictures of him. You wish there was a no phone rule or something like that at this afterparty.

You move to his other side, blocking his view from the girls as he obviously looks up at you after grabbing some drinks.

“You take four. I took two. Jin and V on diet.” 

“I know your secret. You don’t have to talk in broken English, Jungkook.” He smiles as you call him by his name correctly, you’re sure he’s grateful to you for not prying. Most Americans would get all up in his business.

“Thank you.” He whispers softly as you grab the cups and balance them on a plate.

“For you guys.” You pass out the drinks to the members and immediately Namjoon starts up another conversation with you.

“Is this your first after party?” 

“Yeah, but it’s fun. At least it’s memorable for me because I got to meet you guys. Sorry, I’m still a little star struck.” He lets out a chuckle as you take a sip of the champagne.

“You’re handling it pretty well. If I were in your shoes I would’ve freaked out. It’s so cool that you stuck with us for so long.” You shrug, a smirk tugging at your lips as Namjoon takes a sip of his drink as well.

“Not really. You guys are just regular people and I think fans forget that sometimes, it’s easy to forget when you guys dance so in sync and robotically without even thinking.” 

“It takes a lot of hard work.” He reassures you.

“So, did you bring your girlfriends?” You mock the interviewers’ questions as Namjoon guffaws. “I’m just kidding. I don’t care, I stan you for your music and your animated personalities, cheers guys.” You clink glasses with them as they take a sip, all eyes on you as you stand among them instead of looking at them like trophies in a glass case. Everyone in the room was watching you, as you interacted with the “Korean act” so naturally.

There was nothing to it, you didn’t care if they were staring anymore. If anything, you felt more welcome standing next to Bangtan.

“So is asking about personal relationships just an American thing?” You cringe thinking about the Ellen show and how she asked inappropriate questions such as “have you ever hooked up with ARMY?” and completely disrespected them. You didn’t want them to get the wrong impression of you from that bad encounter.

“It’s a strange concept but unfortunately yes, it is normalized here. I think you handled it pretty well though, Tae’s reaction was memed when in reality it was completely understandable!” Taehyung looks up from his phone at the mention of his name, staring directly at you once again.

“Why does he keep looking at me like that?”

“I think he wants to talk to you, dear.” Namjoon’s sudden change in demeanor intimidates you. You shake it off as Namjoon pushes you towards the couch where Taehyung is lounging on while Jungkook disappears off to the bathroom.

“H-Hi Tae.” You awkwardly stock over to the couch as the second youngest BTS member eyes you up and down.

“What’s your deal? Do you want a picture, an autograph? I can’t figure you out.” He sounds cold and calculating, despite your thoughts kindling telling you he was a warm and kindhearted person.

“I’ve been honest this entire night. I wanted to drop by and say hi to the group that I’ve been stanning for seven years. Is that suspicious?” He rubs his jaw, gulping the rest of his drink before setting it down on the table next to him. He looked like he was about to eat you alive, and you loved it.

“No. I can tell you’re being sincere. We’re chill. Joon, everything’s chill.” 

“Alright, now that that's done, our manager told us to be back in our hotel room in 10. We were supposed to skip the after party as we do in all awards shows but he insisted we make an appearance. That’s why we’re here.” Namjoon rounds the members up and everyone adjusts his pants accordingly as they stand up.

“Oh, you guys are leaving?” You sound hurt, but with Jimin’s warm fingertips suddenly on your cold shoulder, you shudder at the small shock from his touch.

“Sorry, how about we just take a quick picture together? I think you’re one of the coolest fans we’ve met.” You didn’t want this night to end. 

The Park Jimin just told you that you’re cool. You felt complete.

After snapping a couple pictures, Jungkook quickly appears by your side, stopping the other members.

“Wait, they’re playing “Cotton Eye-Joe” I wanna dance!” Namjoon rolls his eyes before dismissing him. To your surprise, he asks you to dance (very anxiously at that) and you follow him to the dance floor.

Even if it’s a private event, there are a lot of people in the crowd. You and Jungkook also hold hands so you don’t get separated. Suddenly, everyone forms lines. As the song starts, the crowd starts dancing in sync. You teach Jungkook the moves and just as his curious eyes meet yours, you hear the sound of a bell. They were gonna say toasts.

“That was…” You can’t place your finger on it, but Jungkook looked like he had just seen a ghost. He looked strange. You’ve never seen him give anyone that look. Could he be...Jungshook?

You raise an eyebrow as he suddenly runs back to Namjoon, whispering something in his ear and then going to the other members as well. You’re confused as Namjoon pulls you aside, tapping your shoulder instead of grabbing your hand to follow him. You go to a smaller area blocked off from the crowd.

“Sorry, there were too many cameras around there. I was wondering if you wanted to come with us for the private after-party celebration and have some drinks? We normally go live and then after we turn off the camera we get a little drunk and wild. Plus, Jungkook said he wasn’t ready to let you go just yet.” As he smirks you realize what he just meant. Jungkook was attracted to you?! Either that or he meant it in the most friendly, non-sexual way possible.

“Alright. Um, where are you guys staying by the way?” Namjoon gives you a sexy smirk before leaning and whispering right up against your ear:

“Room 327 on the third floor. That floor is off limits but we’ll let the guards know you’re allowed in there.” You look around before following him out and discreetly making your way to the girls’ bathroom.

“Did you see that bitch parading around the boys like she was their eighth member or something? Pathetic, honestly I gotta give her a C+ for trying. I couldn’t talk to their leader Jimin looking like a trashbag.”

“K, they were literally ogling her. Like you gotta admit, her dress was super cute and her makeup was pretty too.”

“What’s wrong with you G? Are you crushing on her or something? You’ve got to get your eyes checked. She wasn’t even pretty. If anything our boys were uncomfortable.” You open the stall door, washing your hands quickly and quietly ducking out after patting dry. The girls in the restroom make wide big eyes when they realize they just messed with the wrong bitch.

They’re pretending like they were the ones that got invited to the secret BTS party. Losers, they were just sour because Jungkook didn’t even give them the time of day.

You decide to head up to the room after 10 minutes of Namjoon signaling you to get ready and then as soon as you see them leave the party, you sneak up the stairwell. A bulky, tall and surprisingly handsome bodyguard stops you.

He pushes his glasses down to see you, and then lets you through to go join the boys.

You quietly knock on the door to be greeted by a smiling Hobi, and he shushes you before pushing you behind the couch in their suite. The room was so wide and big, different from the hotel room you were staying in for sure.

Within five minutes or so the boys wrap up and then Yoongi leans over and pulls you out of your hiding spot.

“Hey! It’s you, um what’s your name?” Jin scratches his head for an answer. All the members seem a lot more talkative in comparison to earlier. The mood is light and merry.

“Y/N! And bring on the drinks, I’m gonna get tipsy.” The boys chant for you as you chug half a bottle within five seconds, still sober as you burp. 

“Cute.” Jungkook laughs as you excuse yourself and take a sip of water to even out the playing field.

                                         ⋆*･ﾟ:⠀ *⋆.*:･ﾟ .: ⋆*･ﾟ: .⋆

“So now that we’re all drunk, how about we play a game of sexual ‘never have I ever’?” Namjoon’s proposal is favored as all of the members murmur words of agreement.

“Sounds good. Okay, I’ll go first. Never have I ever humped a pillow.” You, Jimin, Jungkook, and Hoseok put a finger down at Yoongi’s confession.

“Never have I ever sucked dick.” Hoseok says, immediately spurring you, Jimin, Yoongi, and Namjoon.

“Really Tae? I thought you did.” Jin says, slapping his thigh as he turns bright red.

“No. I never experimented either.”

“Okay...hmm this is hard. Never have I ever been in a threesome.” Everyone puts their fingers down except Jin, who cries in the corner. 

“Damn, that’s rough. Okay, never have I ever used lube.” Every man in the room groans as Jimin grins toothily. You found it charming how he managed to sound so cheeky but alluring at the same time.

“Never have I ever been in a romantic relationship that lasted for more than a month,”  Namjoon and Yoongi put their fingers down as the other members complain about being too busy. You also put your finger down, biting your lip. “It’s your turn.” He reminds you.

“Um..never have I ever been sexually intimate with a woman.” All of the guys groan as you target them, putting their fingers down at your words.

“Never have I ever been in a gangbang. I had friends who talked about doing the same girl plenty of times in school and shit before we debuted. It was fucking annoying, I just wish I could get it out of the way.” 

The room falls silent as you pipe up, clearing your throat before speaking, “Well, why don’t you? There’s one girl here and...ˢᵉᵛᵉⁿ ᵒᶠ ʸᵒᵘ...so I’m just gonna stop talking now.”

Jin breaks the silence with a stupid dad joke, making Hoseok and Jimin fall into a fit of giggles.

“So are we done? There’s no way any of you have been in a gangbang before,” Your voice stands out as all of the boys look at you, half-offended and half-aroused. “Am I the only one here who has actually been in the middle of three or more guys like that?” More accurately, you had a gangbang with two pairs of boys from neighboring schools, so no one ever found out about your promiscuous activities while you were 17.

“And you have? How could we believe you?” Yoongi spits out, sounding more defensive than anyone else in the room.

“I can suck three dicks at the same time. I’m not ashamed of my talents.” Yoongi gives you a harsh, judgemental stare. You’ve seen that look from your peers and teachers way back in high school and your workplace. They are doubting your abilities.

“Joon, why don’t you tell her why you really invited her here tonight?” Namjoon puts his glass on the table before standing up and pulling you towards him, your body lands on his, your head resting on his chest as he wraps his arms around you.

“We like sharing. Tonight, it seemed that Jungkookie took a liking to you. And we agreed, it would be good to get the maknae some pussy, especially since he hasn’t gotten laid in months. We decided you were the perfect candidate.” You gawk as he allows you to drop to your knees, your eyes wide as if you were asking for permission. Joon nods, sitting back down to give you access to his thighs as you crawl between his legs and inhale the wonderful scent of expensive cologne.

“Guys, are you really doing this in the middle of the couch? At least take it to the big bed where we can all see you, geez.” You’re surprised to see Yoongi unwinding on the couch, his dick large and bouncing against his thigh as he rubs the tip and goes back to the base as you’ve seen in porn.

“Jungkook-Ah, come here. You said you can suck three dicks at once, right Y/N?” You nod, wrapping your lips around the head of his cock and feeling Jungkook’s growing bulge through his boxers first before pulling them to the floor and then taking his dick into your mouth as well.

Both men moan as you simultaneously suck them off, your tongue sneaking down to the bases of each individual cock so you could lick them to orgasm. You know simple little tricks can make all the impact.

“Oh fuck, I’m gonna cum if you keep doing that. Shit.” It was strange, hearing curses fall from your favorite idols’ lips. Namjoon’s cock was much longer in comparison to Jungkook’s, but in whatever Jungkook lacked in length, he made up for in thickness. You were having trouble now, breathing heavily as you discard their clothes one by one.

The boys watch you intently as you suck them off, and you’re also equally aware of the men on the couches, who are watching your display of expert cocksucking.

Jimin, Tae, Yoongi, Hoseok and Jin have their hands in their pants or on their boxers as each man strokes himself to the site of you sucking their band members. You liked the taste, since they most likely ate fruits and drank sweet things to make their cum taste good. You can tell how healthy a person is just by the taste of their juices.

You lick your lips with a smack, your eye makeup is smeared and it makes you look like a raccoon before Namjoon grabs a tissue and wipes your eyes off for you.  

You smile before peeling off the dress completely to reveal your lingerie. The men watch as you play with your huge breasts in front of them, toying with your bra as if you have trouble taking it off.

“Oh my god, I’m gonna cum.” Jungkook groans as you start working and them again, now taking both cocks into your mouth at the same time and letting them see stars before pinching the tips with your long fake nails.

“Shit.” Namjoon and Jungkook came simultaneously, thanks to you. You smile as Jungkook grabs another tissue and helps wipe the cum off your cheeks and mouth before pressing the softest kiss to your lips. “I hope you’re okay with intimacy. We’re boys with hearts.” Namjoon puts a hand on his chest, signaling the “heart,” on his right side. That also adds onto his clumsy charm, the “God of Destruction” making an impromptu appearance as you make your mark.

“Yes, because your heart is totally on the right side of your chest. Come here, big boy.” You give Namjoon a lingering kiss after breaking from Jungkook and then you turn to the other boys on the couch.

“I wanna taste you.” Suddenly Jimin is kissing down your inner thighs, trailing saliva down your entire leg before kissing back up and staring up at you, just as Jungkook squeezes your boobs.

“I hope you don’t mind. We’re far from being done here.” You groan and close your eyes as pleasure takes you from all sides. Hoseok and Yoongi are circling your navel, joining Jimin in the attack on your clit, while Taehyung and Jin are working on your breasts as Jungkook and Namjoon hold your hair back, allowing the others to get a piece of you. When Yoongi and Hoseok step back, rubbing their naked dicks in their hands you realize everyone in the room is naked, including you. Jimin ripped off your panties and threw them on the floor next to the door while Namjoon took your bra off. 

This is the first time you’ve seen all of them naked. They look even better without clothes on, in all honesty.

“Ji—FUCK!” You moan, bucking your hips as Jimin swirls his tongue right between your folds, hitting the perfect spot as you whine like a horny bitch.

“You’re fine sweetheart, just take his tongue. You can take another dick, right?” Before you can process what’s happening, Taehyung is fucking your mouth, his bulge poking the back of your neck uncomfortably. You still enjoy the sensation of being filled, so you don’t mind too much.

“Is everything okay? Thumbs up if you’re good, thumbs down if you feel bad.” Namjoon brings you back to reality as you give him a thumbs up, your heart racing in your ribcage as Tae fucks your face and Jimin eats you out.

Jin, during this whole time, was nowhere to be found. You wondered what he was doing. Maybe he was preparing a surprise for you? Your thoughts fail to wander as Taehyung’s testes slap against your cheeks, hard enough for you to go numb. Your face hurts but the gesture itself was so kinky, you wanted to see it again.

“Tae, slow down, make her feel good first. Jimin, fuck her faster.” Namjoon takes the lead as you lie back, panting heavily as Tae gives you a moment to catch your breath, his cock resting on your chin as you catch your breath, the sensation of Jimin’s lips testing your bundle of nerves as you shudder with an all-too familiar feeling. 

You couldn’t believe a BTS member was about to make you cum tonight, for real, and not some drawn-out fantasy like the many lonely nights you spent with your vibrator and dildos at home. You’re so glad all of your friends passed up on this opportunity, according to them BTS were a bunch of “gay kpop dudes,” and “girls,” because they wear makeup like any other celebrity that would appear on camera. You would’ve gone back to your hotel room early to sleep in so you could wake up and go home after an unexciting night of wasted opportunity. You were so happy that this was happening.

At least you shoot your shot, and it actually worked this time.

When you open your eyes, you’re surprised to see that both men have switched positions, this time Taehyung ripping open a condom as your eyes widen, your mouth watering at the sight of his huge dick. You knew he had a big dick from the moment you stanned BTS. Now here it was, in the flesh, ready to enter your hungry, hungry hole. Your pussy tightens immediately at the thought, and you’re soon distracted by Jimin and Hoseok’s actions as they begin peppering your body with hickies. You don’t really mind, it’s not like anyone important is going to see you when you go home. Besides, this is Bangtan for pete’s sake, who the fuck would stop them from leaving marks? You wanted a reminder of this night, since this was just as special to you as it was to them.

Jimin moves his plush lips down to meet yours as Hoseok kisses your weak spot, right on the side of your neck. You giggle from the ticklish feeling of his tongue on your neck, practically melting into the bed as Taehyung rubs his cockhead against your weeping entrance, your pussy already slick wet with arousal as he nudges your legs further apart. His cock is huge, but it’s not ridiculously out of proportion. It fits his body, as a cock should look on a man, naturally. You’re so glad you aren’t a virgin. You remember freaking out after first seeing a dick in an erotic film.

Tae’s cock is far from weird or awkward, it’s actually as pretty and ethereal as the rest of him. You could say the same for the other guys, as their cocks fit their bodies too. It’s just a minute detail, but since you were obsessed with these seven men since forever, you pick up on it. Tae gives you that signature boxy smirk once again as you finish ogling him, making awkward eye contact with the 5’ 10” man as he teasingly slides his cock right up your most sensitive area.

“Cute, you’re so wet, I don’t think I could resist now.” You moan obnoxiously loud as your body convulses from the sheer force of his thighs meeting yours. You whimper out of pain, but as soon as your inner walls adjust to his size, you let out another sinful moan.

“Hobi...Jimin.” You see both men above you as you open your eyes slightly, their cocks hanging in front of your face. You love it, being treated like a whore when in reality you wouldn’t think of even holding hands with a boy. Maybe it’s the Bangtan effect. They’re all hot and they treat you so well, kissing you and checking up on you every few minutes. It’s not like an awkward fanfiction where the characters are mostly silent with prolonged descriptions of sex and wayyy too much background when it’s supposed to be a simple pwp smut. 

You personally love reading those things, especially the 10,000 word ones. Now that you’re actually living it, you can see why authors would want to elaborate. The feeling can’t be expressed with dialogue, it’s so much more than that.

You sigh into their cocks as you suck them interchangeably. Both men are entirely fixated on you, watching as you somehow manage to please them while getting brutally fucked by their roughest bandmate. It was impressive, they’ve never seen a girl as talented as you. Maybe that’s because you’re the first girl they’ve ever fucked altogether. 

This is a very special day for them indeed, as the city flashes purple outside in celebration of BTS attending the Grammys, the eight of you are trapped in your own little world, exploring each other.

Taehyung finishes fucking you after several minutes, your mouth filled with cum and your face stained white as well. Namjoon gives the two men a serious look before signalling the next pair of boys, Yoongi and Jin. Jin cleans you up first, while Yoongi gets you some water to help you recharge. You don’t know if you can truly get through seven men. Only Tae had penetrated you but you still felt incomplete. This wouldn’t be a true gangbang if you didn’t fuck every man at least once.

Yoongi seems to read your expressions, putting an arm around your shoulder and reassuring you first before moving on.

“You make the last call. We’re all okay with this but the moment you say no, it’s all over. I don’t wanna force you.” You find yourself leaning into a kiss, a gentle but firm kiss planting the first seed of desire on his lips. He can’t back away now.

“Can you bend me over and fuck me from behind? I’ve always had that fantasy in my mind from the time I discovered Yoongi smut fiction.” The other men seem impressed, watching you with drinks in hand as you seduce their second-oldest band member.

“Ahem, just so you remember, I’m here too. I grabbed toys earlier so I can prep you, don’t worry it’s clean.” You wanted to so desperately ask Jin where he got them but you snap yourself out of the little fantasy. You’re just a one night stand to them, you probably won’t see them ever again in person, whether it's in a sexual context or not.

“Mmmm, tie me up while you’re at it, would ya? Fuck, I’m into that kinky shit.” Jin gives you a wicked grin. For the first time, you notice his “jokester” persona has a dark side as well. If luck is on your side then sex will Jin will the perfect way to end this amazing night. A finale for the books, tabloids and magazines would eat it up! But you can’t tell anyone. You probably won’t tell anybody. It’s not like you’re a teenage girl from the hills. You can keep a secret.

“Me too, so are you sure you’re okay with this?” You nod as he finishes tying your arms to your sides, your feet still free in case you have to stretch. 

“This is so hot, oh look she’s wet again. Why don’t you fuck her first hyung? We can take turns fucking her with the toy and using our dicks.” Yoongi smirks, drooling a little bit at the thought of you completely helpless at their mercy.

“That’s a perfect idea. Princess, you know what to do if it gets to be too much.” You give him a thumbs up as he pushes the dildo up your second hole, the one in the back. You’ve never had anal sex with a guy before. You’ve also never been tied up. This was a new experience for you, and you were excited that the men of BTS were the ones taking your sexperience to another level.

“Ohhhh, that feels amazing Yoongi.” You close your eyes, resting your head on a pillow as Jimin quickly wipes your sweaty forehead with a moist towelette. You give him a small mutter of “thanks,” before feeling a foreign emptiness in your body. Someone took the dildo out! Just as you were about to freak out, Jin quickly replaces it with his fingers. You watch in awe as they play with your clit like you’re a toy. 

Then, you finally feel it, a cock wrapped in a condom, but the condom is so thin it feels like it’s barely there! After adjusting to him, you feel Yoongi slipping in behind you. You let out a scream, Jin pressing a harsh kiss to your lips and shushing you as you handle having two relatively large dicks inside you.

Your body shudders with shock and your muscles are tense as you move ever so slightly, adjusting to their slowing pace as they near their release, both men groaning ever so lewdly in your ears. You receive kisses and grunts of praise as they continue thrusting into you with no end.

“I’m so close, you’re so tight baby, so fucking tight.” Yoongi kisses your neck, biting down and leaving another hickey on an unmarked spot.

“Nggg, I’m coming, shit, fuck your pussy feels so good.” You’re so glad you shaved before you attended the awards show. Your lower body was silky smooth, and it made the experience just that much more pleasurable. Jin definitely appreciates it, as you buck your hips up and slam into his cock. Your inner walls are so stretched that you take all 9 inches of his erect gargantuan cock

“Oh, Jin! Yoongi…!” You moan as Yoongi starts rubbing your clit exactly above where Jin’s cock rests, your body jerking forward as you orgasm immediately. Your toes curl and you instinctively suck on something to mask the moans, much similar to how you used to suck your fingers to bite back a moan or two when you were a teenager still living with your parents. 

You were so glad there was no one here to interrupt, it was just you and the seven men you adored so much. “Fuck me harder,” You roll your hips back on Yoongi’s body, as he and Jin readjust so you were on your side again but this time Yoongi loosens the ropes holding your arms down. You kiss him gratefully, quickly finding yourself in the middle of a dick sandwich as both men enter you simultaneously, fucking you at a quick pace. 

Your body is numb and the only thing you feel is pleasure. It’s too good to be true, you just know it. “Cum in me. Fuck me hard and fill me up with your seed. I don’t care, just someone–anyone fuuuuckk.” You lewdly throw your head back in pleasure, Yoongi kissing your neck softly as he and Jin seemingly switched places, now with Yoongi in the front and Jin in the back.

“Look at her tits bounce. Oh you look so fucking sexy taking our cocks babe. Wish I could live inside you. I bet you’d love being my little cocksleeve, wouldn’t you?” You couldn’t deny his words, he spoke the truth. If a man such as Jin wanted to fuck you anywhere you would let him. That’s just how life is. You know you couldn’t pass up such an opportunity the moment you decided to strip down in front of them. You could take it, all seven of their cocks at once if they let you.

“Mmmph, I’m cumming Hyung. I wanna fuck her, fuck her forever.” Yoongi’s words only hang heavy in your heart, since you know this is just sex talk. In reality you’d have to leave tomorrow only to never see them again. It was the harsh reality of One Night Stands, one every person hates to go through. 

It wasn’t like you didn’t know this would happen, of course you would grow attached to the person you’re fucking. It’s a natural reaction, you just didn’t expect Yoongi to be the emotional one, that’s all.

“Cum with me Yoongz, let’s cum inside her together.” The two let out synchronized moans before releasing their precious juices inside of you. Even though they came, they don’t bother pulling out, remaining in their positions as Yoongi presses his lips against yours in a post-sex daze.

“We did it. We all fucked her.” Jin whispers as your uneven breaths slow down, your racing heart calming down as you come down from your euphoric state. You could see their juices dripping down your thighs and spilling onto the white sheets, your body warm as you squeeze your legs so that your pussy really clamps down on Yoongi’s cock, while Jin’s cock twitches in your ass once more.

“It’s over then…?” Yoongi gives you a mischievous smirk, one you recognize from all his MVs. He has a calming laugh as well, the mood somber and fitting instead of an awkward post-sex shuffle for clothes and food. You suppose this is because the members of BTS have been friends for over ten years now, and they just had a way of understanding each other and lightening the mood just by murmuring to each other about random things. 

Both men finally pull out of you, leaving you in your own little pool of sex as you lie atop the lonely king-sized bed, feeling more alone than you ever have. At least, you assume they left when an eerie silence settles into the room filled with a fragrance of musk and cologne and a putrid stench that you could only assume was your own sweat. 

It’s funny how all the boys still smelled good even after fucking you like how they did. You missed them, even though they were with you just a moment ago.

“I just realized something, I forgot to ask for your name.” You’re surprised to find Jungkook standing before you, holding a towel and a water bottle.

“Y/N.” You didn’t realize it either, but then again you were too distracted getting fucked by monster cocks. 

“That’s a pretty name. I was wondering if you wanted to sleep over here tonight? This is my room and I kinda wanted you to myself anyways so what do you say?” You liked the thought of Jungkook fawning over you, but it was even better now that he’s back so you can stare at him all night long.

“Sure.”

“Good, for a second I thought you were doing to say no. That would’ve been embarrassing considering that I kicked everyone out so I could have you.”

“Nuh-uh, that bed can support five people. We played rock paper scissors just so we could figure out who the heck gets to sleep with you tonight. Y/N, if you’re up for it?” You see a fully dressed Namjoon, Yoongi, and Hoseok at the door, the men filing in as Jimin, Tae, and Jin remain nowhere to be found.

“Of course. Just cuddle me for warmth, it’s super cold in here.” The men take care of you just as you’d asked, Namjoon and Yoongi cuddling you from one side while Jungkook and Hoseok cuddle you from the other. You feel like this is definitely more than just a one night stand.

When the morning comes, you’re still in the big bed, surrounded by sleeping BTS members. You couldn’t believe they were real and waking up here was proof that last night really happened and you weren’t drunk off your ass. You remembered it so vividly, Jimin’s lips, Yoongi’s tongue, Hoseok’s fingers. Everyone touched you one way or another and you got to eat a lot of dick.

It all came with the price of your stamina, though. You weren’t the most active person, so your muscles were a little bit sore from all the extraneous activity. It was worth it, you would definitely go through it again even if it meant you had to limp to work the next day. Speaking of work, you had to go to your office today. You were in town for the concert but you had some business to take care of too. You still had a few hours before you had to leave, though, and your things were still in your room which was on a different floor, thank God you picked the same hotel that BTS was staying in without knowing.

“You need a shower, don’t you?” You’re surprised to find Jungkook awake and ready to carry you to the bathroom. You shyly follow him, heart rate rising as he gives you an adorable bunny-toothed smile. His doe eyes are so wide and filled with sparkles, as usual.

“No sex, right? I don’t think my body can handle another round so soon, although I wouldn’t mind if you bent me over and-” Jungkook’s eyes widen as you start.

“Ah, no. I’m not gonna do anything. I’m respectful. Even if we had amazing sex last night that doesn’t mean you can’t say no. You always have a choice.” You never thought of it that way. You thought it was always a permanent deal, just something everyone agreed on.

“So why did you decide to sleep with me? It’s not like you guys planned this, right?” He nods, as you start washing yourself with the shower curtain half open in case Kook wants to join.

“We didn’t. Well, I didn’t. Everyone was bored and we thought we could find different girls to spend the night with each of us. Obviously, things didn’t go as planned since everyone was too intimidated to approach us so we all narrowed our focus down to you. Argh, I should stop speaking for the whole group. What I meant to say was, I actually liked you from the start. Not because you approached me, but just because you treated me like an old friend. It was refreshing, and really nice to see a confident woman for once.”

“You think I’m confident?” You shut off the water as you begin scrubbing your body with soap.

“Of course, you danced in front of a crowd with me, that kind of thing takes guts. It’s like if I asked my childhood idol to dance with me. You did what others couldn’t. You’re amazing Y/N.” You turn the water back on, moaning as the warm water hits your skin just right. That wasn’t all; you were becoming hornier by the second.

Jungkook must’ve sensed it, since he pounces into the shower, fully naked and displaying everything. You can’t help but drop to your knees, innocently sucking his cock head and kissing his underside down to his balls where the last piece of hair remains. Jungkook’s pale face is flushed a lovely rosy pink as you lick the miniscule hairs, his whines setting you on edge as the water drowns out your noise once and for all.

“Cum on my face, Kook. I wanna taste your juices.” Jungkook lets out a girlish whine as you drive him over the edge with your dirty talk. He thrusts his hips forward, making you gag on his cock and tears well up in your eyes as his cum bubbles in the back of your throat. Seeing you actually covered in his cum is a different story, it activates a side of him he didn’t know he had until now.

“On your feet. I’m gonna bend you over and fuck you loud enough for my bandmates to hear.” Your moans are all that could be heard throughout the vicinity as Jungkook gives it to you good. His cock is swollen red, blood rushing to his face, heart, and lungs as he absolutely ruins you like you wished.

“I don’t think I can walk.” You croak, voice destroyed since he fucked your throat well before.

“You don’t have to. From now on, let me take care of you.” You didn’t have a problem with that, but little did you know that his bandmates had a very different vision for you in the near future.

                             ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

                         Dark Ending, hope you enjoyed the story! ♡

[sneezefiction]

embrace

Tsukishima x Reader - Scenario 

@belli-jelly’s event request: “#7 with Tsukki ❤️ thank youu!”

a/n: “embrace” with Tsukishima is such a soft idea. he just needs a hug and to feel loved n supported n stuff, ya know? i hope u enjoy!! <333

warnings: slight language, angst (but barely?)

wc: 1990

---

Tsukishima makes his ways through the apartment door, kicking off his shoes a little more forcefully than usual. The thunk of the soles on the tile embodies whatever vexation he’d been simmering in for the duration of the day. A weak, frustration-fueled sigh exits his body.

From the kitchen, you can already tell that something is off. He hasn’t called out to you with his usual, “Hey stupid, I’m home.” You hadn’t even received his typical text telling you he was leaving the gym. The tense silence seeps into the airspace as he makes his way toward you, Tsukki’s feet dragging with every step.

As he turns corner, you’re greeted by features taut with fatigue. It’s as though he’d been running on empty all day, barely making it home with only fumes of energy leftover.

Tsukki’s eyes were undoubtedly strained. The white, intense light of the gym combined with deep concentration kept him on high-alert with eyes wide open at all times.

His shoulders maintained a somewhat slumped position, losing an inch or two of height in the process. The mental weight of handling everything on his own had finally reached him physically.

This hadn’t been a good day, per se.

And if Tsukki had the energy to speak, he would probably tell you how much he would rather be in a month-long coma than experience that level of misery again.

But the hushed air remains and a bizarre staring contest takes place between you two instead of passing words. It’s hard to speak when you know that, deep down, words could never do his terrible days any justice. That even a thoughtful sentence or a well-intended comment would simply drown under Tsukki’s sea of thought, never resurfacing or coming up for air to be heard or understood.

He’s too exhausted to process even the shortest of loving dialogues. And you can tell.

So you sift through other possibilities.

Ways to calm him. To remind him that you care and want to look after him.

Should you make him dinner? He’s probably already eaten. Watch a movie together? No, the light would bother his tired eyes even more. Just go to bed? He would only continue to stir through his disappointments and be kept up by the throbbing of soreness in his legs.

As your eyes trickle down the length of his body, which is now leaning on the countertop as he takes a long sip out of his water bottle, you come to one final alternative…

But it’s always a bit of a gamble. A slight risk.

To touch or not to touch.

Would he lean into it like a self-satisfied, curious cat, tilting his lean body into your affectionate antics? Or would his brittle, biting character and miserable mood cause himself to crumble and fall away from the warmth and comfort of your smaller arms?

On one hand, you might experience your beloved Tsukishima’s gentler side. The one that held you as though he were a mama bird wrapping her wide-spanned wings around your precious form. Instinctively protective. A second-natured response to the way you circled your arms around his torso, tugging him into your field, requesting closeness and vulnerability. It could potentially get his mind off of the day and focus him on the here and now.

But on the other hand, Tsukki had a track record of off days. Jumping away from the soft glide of the pads of your fingertips. On those days, your embrace seemed to resemble that of a thorny, roseless bush to the wavy-haired blonde. The chance of him tugging away, leaving you drained and drooping, was higher than you had ever wanted to bet on. The possibility of him ending up at the opposite side of the bed seemed to increase after experiences like these.

And to be honest, you could never be sure if the touch-deterring wall he built up was to protect himself or you. Yet you always try to find ways to chip away at his salty, skeptical barrier without overstepping any fragile, unspoken boundaries.

It’s a simple concept. However, avoiding his sensitivities is an endless dance and is much harder than it may look. Especially at the end of a long day of pro-league practice, where sweat, sulking, and inferiority complexes don’t usually mix well.

But this was the only viable option left, so you get over your own worries and approach Tsukishima’s weary form. You stop just a few inches before him, his eyes dropping to meet yours. He was even more beaten down up close. The defeated expression he carried in tandem with his worn-out demeanor made you physically ache for him. 

“Tsukki… you’re not lookin’ too hot right now.” You let out a breathy laugh, slowly lifting yourself onto your tiptoes to brush a hand through his messy hair, testing the waters.

He doesn’t flinch away from your movements, so you sink back down onto the soles of your feet, letting your hand run down the side of his face.

“No shit, Sherlock. I don’t exactly feel great either.” He shoots back, but there’s a somber, troubled tinge.

Tsukki inches toward you, looking away as he tilts the side of his head into the palm of your hand. Your fingers cup his cheek.

Everyone knew how Tsukki acted when he was annoyed or angry. Snappy, sarcastic comments would be strewn in an almost poetic manner, kindly crushing those under his scrutiny. Many had seen Tsukishima after a merciless game, beaten and worn out. He would still have a muted fire behind his efforts and would carry himself with dignity, even if he didn’t feel confidence rise inside of him.

But gloominess? It doesn’t suit him. Not now, not ever.

And currently, he’s emanating a dreary, depressing sadness, like being caught in a rainstorm without an umbrella to shield you. It’s helpless and uncontrollable. Utterly humiliating.

You can practically feel the strain of the day radiating off of him. Tsukki had a tendency to wither slowly and cautiously. Not allowing anyone to watch as his snarky comments fizzled out and his sharp gaze gradually dull. By the look in his golden eyes, it was obvious that something in him had already snapped like an old tree branch. Battered and bruised by storm after brutal summer storm, finally shattering under the repetitive pressures of failure and imposter syndrome.

In the past, he had let apathy take over in order to not burden you. Withholding affection, thinking it would keep you safe from his sinking atmosphere when in reality he wished to drink in your tenderness. To fall under your grasp, sinking his head under your chin and lay across your chest.

But maybe it was all too much.

Too much to hold in. To carry alone.

“Kei…” At the use of his first name, he physically softens. Drawing his arms around your middle and clasping his hands behind your back, he gently rests his chin on your head.

“You can always lean on me.” You whisper into the fabric of his shirt.

Your words carry a deeper semblance. That you really are here for him. Physically, mentally, and emotionally ready to lift him up.

You picked a good time for physical touch because he only pulls you in tighter.

He’s pretty warm and smells like sweat mixed with deodorant and his cedar-scented shampoo. You grasp the cloth and squeeze him into you, making sure to keep him steady and balanced. His breathing falls into a gentle rhythm, almost as though he were falling asleep standing up.

“If you weren’t so lanky I would pick you up, but you’re a damn tree.” You sigh, poking fun at him.

The touches were cathartic. Healing. Authentic. Your lighthearted comments kept things comfortable, hindering him from drawing away due to feelings of unworthiness or self-consciousness.

“Wow, okay, bold words for someone who can hardly seem to pick up a bag of flour. You couldn’t hold me even if you were my height.” He snickers, tension releasing and adrenaline wearing off from the high-energy day.

You shift to look up at Tsukki, your chin gently pressing into his chest. He’s already staring down at you. You can’t help that a blush works its way up your neck and onto your cheeks, the warmth from his unusual touch sending you unwarranted fuzzy feelings. As much as you wished this embrace could be all for Tsukki, you’d wanted to hug him with all your might for a while now.

“Y/n… Honest question, so don’t laugh at me. Why are you doing this?” Tsukishima breaks eye contact, arms shifting to lean your chest more on top of his as he sinks a little deeper onto the counter, his back supported by the ledge.

“What do you mean by ‘this’?” You inquire, eyes still fixed on him, searching his expression.

“I mean... You know when things are going to shit. You know when I need something. A back massage, a slap to the face, hell, even a coffee sometimes.” He snorts, trying not to take his own question too seriously.

You’re the one to sigh now. Doesn’t he know how these things work by now? That being in a relationship with him meant more than insulting the daylights out of each other and going out to dinner? Apparently even Tsukishima lacks a lot perspective when it comes to loving another human being.

“You’re stubborn as hell.” You state plainly, your face going blank.

“What?”

“You refuse to see that you need help too sometimes, babe. Hate to break it to ya, but I actually like listening to and hugging you.” You break into a small smile.

“What does that have to do with anything?” He rolls his eyes at your confusing sentence.

“Are you that dense?” You express with mock disdain at his response.

“Tsukki, I’m saying that you don’t burden me! That I want to be there for you even after shitty days like these! You’re an absolute dumbass!” You snicker and your smile reaches your eyes, crinkling and squinting as his meet yours.

Instead of saying anything, Tsukishima rests in place, dumbfounded.

It’s true, you always were there for him.

Cheering at every game. Cooking dinner for him when you knew he would get home way too late and practically starving. Letting him rant relentlessly about losses and seemingly endless practices.

So why was it that only after breaking down in every way possible, he would finally let you see his most vulnerable thoughts and fears. That he would allow you to witness his exhaustion only once it had reached its peak. That it took Tsukki completely collapsing to let you wrap you arms around him.

And you both guess that it’s because old habits die hard.

Tsukki would always be Tsukki. A little too cold and relentlessly set on drenching others in his never-ending supply of sarcasm. Reluctant to accept help until it was already showing through the bleeding cracks of his figure and laced within his pained speech.

Because for someone so good at putting up and breaking through blocks, Tsukishima needed help with the walls that he had built up under his skin over the years. He needed to see that he couldn’t always protect you from his fears, but that you would be there to help him fight them. Or at least hug them away when it all got too much.

And as he presses a gentle kiss onto your forehead, you know it will be okay. Because embraces like these are what chip away at walls of fear. It’s the first step and you can already feel the tension crumble away, allowing warmth to surround the two of you. 

So you begin to remind him more and more that you like hugs. And he lets you hold him far more often, slowly but surely letting you deeper into his mind and into his arms. A much needed and highly welcomed addition to your everyday life.

---

tags: @cherryonigiri, @yams046, @miss-rin, @shou-kunn, @senkuwu-chan, @super-noya, @stcrryskies, @holaaaf, @sugacookiies

(comment or send an ask to be added to my general tag list) 

[ihopesocomic]

I came across this comic from the My Pride review that you did and even tho I think the comic has neat art and I love the angle of our gay couple meeting as cubs, the whole thing with our disabled lead not being given a name feels just as problematic as Nothing being called Nothing? This is just my opinion tho, not trying to be rude? ^^; I love this comic but it seems to be making the same mistake My Pride did with its disabled main character and I just wanted to give my two cents.

I’m actually pretty glad you sent this, anon. Because we’ve been talking at great length on how to approach the whole concept of ableism through Hope’s name while also using it to deconstruct the topic, which we feel My Pride didn’t do a good job at. I’m going to do my best to explain our intent behind this.

warning: may contain spoilers

The fact that Nothing was called Nothing in My Pride wasn’t really a problem on its own (for me, anyway). There are certain factors that went into people having issues with it,  like the fact that Powerstrike is not portrayed as being in the wrong for giving Nothing the name. Aside from Fire and Sharptongue giving her death glares, nobody voices any real protest or makes an effort to point out how wrong and ableist Powerstrike is. It’s all treated as ‘wow that sucks but whatever’ and the plot moves on.

And then you have Hover happily using the name despite having no obligation to. When I first watched the trailer for MP and the first episode, I expected the name to be changed very quickly. Pretty much everyone did, as they were all speculating what the new name could be. Hover using it in the next episode was when it really began to rub people off the wrong way, including myself. Hover was a prime candidate for pointing out how shitty the name is and deconstructing the ableism behind it by not using it because a) she lives outside of Pride Law and its customs and b) this is her girlfriend, it’s perfectly natural for people to give cute little nicknames to their girlfriends. 

Then the show doubles down on its decision to keep the name with Feather’s take on it and by making the sole person who still refuses to use it - Fire - an antagonist. It sorta delivers the message that audience members who don’t like it are wrong too, which is all sorts of yikes.

I want to bring up what happened with Brightheart from Warrior Cats as a comparison. When Bluestar gives her the name Lostface when she is severely injured by the dog attack, the reaction to this is a complete 180 to My Pride. It is not only made clear that Bluestar is not in the right frame of mind and we as an audience should be appalled by her actions (because she’s using Brightheart as a means to attack StarClan), but several characters make it clear that this is an awful name and Cloudtail - who is falling in love with Brightheart - swears that he will never use it. Unlike Hover, who just laughs at how ‘mean’ her love interest’s name is. The name is then changed by Firestar a book or so later, effectively doing away with and deconstructing Bluestar’s ableism and allowing Brightheart to reclaim herself. It’s never doubled down upon and nobody is portrayed as being wrong for not liking it. Lostface is a bad name and it deserved to be phased out, end of discussion. Not saying that Warrior Cats treats its disabled characters flawlessly because Brightheart is treated appallingly afterwards, but the whole thing with her name is something that was handled pretty much fine imo.  What does this have to do with Hope’s name? Well, what we have planned is that Hope gets her nasty family name - Hopeless - in the upcoming chapter and we begin the deconstruction of how crappy the name is and how hardly anybody is going to use it in a similar vein to Brightheart’s situation. Clever immediately shortens the name to Hope at the end of this chapter, indicating that she does not intend to use the less flattering long version of the name. We expand upon this intent in the next chapter when Clever makes Hope her official name. Adamant and Quiet also call her Hope, as they were impressed by her attempt to take down the zebra and don’t vibe with their parents’ actions at all. The pair of them are annoying lil sisters, but we’re not setting out to make them ableist too. And that’s another thing: you don’t need to portray the majority of somebody’s family as ableist in anti-ableist media. One or two characters - especially those who are in a position of power, like the parents - is more than enough. You need other characters to balance out their awfulness and deliver an effective counterargument. 

Anyway, when Hope finally leaves her family with Storm in an upcoming chapter, it is revealed how Hope WAS named Hopeless (Storm isn’t immediately privy to this because of Hope being called Hope, as mentioned above). Of course, Storm says that Hopeless is a gross name and suggests that Hope can just be short for HopeFUL from that moment onwards. Hope agrees, effectively doing away with this last, abusive link to her family before she leaves the Golden Grove for good. And that closes the book on that particular issue. 

Sorry if this turned into a bit of an essay, by the way. We want to try and portray ableism and how wrong it is and how the disabled and everyone around them can rise above it as best as we can without disrespecting or offending anybody so things like this do require a thorough explanation. If there’s any further concerns from anon or anyone who reads this, feel free to poke us and open up discussion. We’re more than happy to hear constructive criticism on how we handle these things. Thank you for reading. c:

[over-under-through1]

Random role-reversal where the Norms are the ones with the powers and are a team and the ppg and rrb are the norms. What are the roles? (Like who's the leader and stuff like that)

OHMYGOD THIS IS SUCH A COOL CONCEPT OKAY

the leader would 1000% be Robin. she’s so kick ass please- the other two would even really have to discuss it?? they would just look at themselves, then glance at Robin who’s probably body slamming a 2 ton monster into the ocean and just shrug, go for it, and that’s how it is from that point on. She makes all the plans, directions, and is best at the responsibility aspect of everything and finding the others strengths and weaknesses. the other two would be running around like chickens with their heads cut off without her.

Mitch is the “brains” you could say. he’s able to talk his way out of things and work things out really well, strategy is his forte. He’s also the most social (everyone in this specific group is, but objectively Mitch is the best “people person), so he’d probably lead press conferences and all their media stuff. (side note- the MIBLO WE COULD HAVE WITH THIS??? imagine Pablo getting into a dangerous situation and Mitch just goes NUTSO and fucks up the bitches who put his boyfriend into danger UP <or like maybe it’s pre relationship and that’s the point where Pablos like “yes okay i am actually in love with him” then ~dramatic kiss~> stop cause i have so many thoughts on the Miblo in this AU I AM LOSING MY MIND)

Mike is the mediator, when that doesn’t work out he plays defense and helps with the after math of all the battles (clean up, civilian round up, stats, etc). During fights, they would send him in first to collect info/ try to talk the danger in question out of whatever is happening or non violently restrain them.

Buttercup and Butch would be Mitch’s norm and they would 100% be constantly pestering him to let them get close to the action and help out on field. think Ned from Marvel’s Spider-man when he first found out that Peter was Spider-man except, like, all the time. fully try to be the “guys in the chairs”. Boomer is definitely similar with all of them, but add a crum of anxiety and panic eating. sir is out here like “okay cool so. all three of my best friends are gonna die. fantastic. amazing. great. gotta plan three funerals. which will involve me giving a speech.” then directly after he’s screaming in their faces “YOU GUYS WERE SO COOL THAT WAS SO GREAT HOW DID YOU DO THAT KICKY THINGY OHMYGOD AND THAT PART WHERE IT WENT DOWN AND M I K E BRO WHEN YOU HELD IT BACK BY ITS NECK WOW”

Bubbles is just fully their team cheerleader. she makes them merch and designs their uniforms, and wakes them all up for “team bonding time” and training. she also does her best to record all of their fights and uploads them to youtube so she can “try and get them sponsorship deals”. she’s their number one hype man. she also does her best to help Mitch with the media, and runs the team’s instagram

Blossom keeps avid watch of the city and news, putting on google alerts for anything that could be a potential threat so she can be the first to call them and let them know the situation. 90% of the time they get the information from her before the mayors office even realizes something is going on. she helps out Robin with the categorizing and the planning. she also tries to keep the team’s work life and social life/school life balanced so they still get the chance to be “normal teenagers”

Brick is Mike’s norm through and through, and he’s the one to give it to the team straight on their fighting skills and how well something worked out. he studies the videos Bubbles takes and he reports back everything so they can find their mistakes and better themselves in future fights. he very subtly cares about them, like, a lot. one time when there was a close call, he was the first one to try and go out and help them, powerless or not. Buttercup had to hold him back, even though she was just as nervous and about 2 steps away from going out their herself.

I definitely wanna try something with this AU again in the future!! it was a good breath of fresh air, and a really interesting idea. thank you!!

[waystobuild-blog]

Top 7 CN Shows That Would Work Better in Live Action than PPG

So I think everybody’s talked about why CW Powerpuff Girls doesn’t work, whether or not it’s a real thing or not? Who even knows. But while thinking about how this:

is kinda awful for Powerpuff Girls, I got thinking what shows that this style of a reboot would work for. In which it’s live action, the character is depressed and has sort of resentment towards their childhood now and that sort of thing. 

So what are the top 7 shows that I think this

Number 7:

Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends

At Number 7 we have Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends. Seems fitting that we’d start the list with another one of Craig McCracken’s biggest hits. Why do I think the premise of “Oh, life sucks now and I kinda wasted my childhood” would work for Foster’s? For the plain and simple fact that for a few episodes of the show, there was a focus on Mac growing up and whether or not he should leave his friends at Foster’s behind him. You could play a lot with that concept combined with the live action reboot thing. Maybe an older version of the character is dealing with whether or not to let go of both Bloo and the past and move on with his life. Frankie being a young adult during the time of the original show could also be a pretty instrumental character since it was a matter of living there, caring for the friends, having that job and balancing this life with the life that she had outside of the house.

Not quite a coming of age story but a sort of “Hey, my life has gone nowhere and where could I go with this now? Do I keep the friends I loved and cherished as a child or move onto other things? Is there a way to do both?”

Only thing I wouldn’t want though is CGI monstrosity friends. Those would be kinda the worst…

Number 6: 

Okay, let’s actually talk about a real superhero show this time around. Or would this count as a superhero show? Well, they certainly do a lot of cool time travelling so I’m gonna say it’s a superhero show. Of course, I mean Time Squad.

Now if you haven’t guessed, I don’t have the most experience with this show but I know enough to think that this is something that could actually work well. I mean, Otto was a kid who was basically running around all over history protecting the balance of time with a stuck up robot and a dude who is a little too into all of this. Imagine if he just sorta did this for all of his childhood and realizing as a young adult that “Crap, I didn’t really have a childhood.” With the dynamic of the squad, the potential to expand the greater organization as a whole and just all the time travel shenanigans that could happen, I don’t see a reason not to do it.

Plus, CW already has Legends of Tomorrow and that’s awesome so even less likely to screw it up if they’ve already got a model to do it off of right?

Number 5: 

The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack

Yo ho ho, it is a sailor’s life for me. And in this sailor’s life we’re coming in with Number 5: The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack. Now this is a bit of an odd choice, right? But hear me out.

Flapjack as a child kinda had only Bubbie and K’nuckles as guides for his life. While they mostly spent their lives at Stormalong Harbor, they also constantly spent their lives looking for Candied Island. What if they never stopped looking and eventually, little kid Flapjack is a grown up now and he’s like “Oh wow. I wanted adventure but I was kinda manipulated to follow this creepy old man’s dreams of candy.” I think going heavy and hard on this sort of found family between them would be kinda fun. How K’nuckles wasn’t the best role model and how they’ve still only got each other in this world, that sort of thing.

Plus, a live action Stormalong would be sooooooo cool.

Number 4:

Ben 10

As the old saying goes, it started when an alien device did what it did, stuck itself upon his wrist with secrets that it hid, now he’s got superpowers he’s no ordinary kid, it’s Ben 10.

And unfortunately in CW’s Ben 10, he’s not a kid who just wants to have fun. Nah, he’s got a lot of emotional stuff to deal with and all of that depressing stuff. Isn’t it great? Now I do think that this could work especially if you work it in where maybe Ben enlisted into the plumbers after his summer vacation and it just kinda escalated from there to the point where here he is now.

Say what you will, but at least with Ben 10, we’ve seen it hit a more grounded and emotional place with Ben 10 Alien Force and Ultimate Alien so I don’t believe that this would be too far of a stretch with how that show worked and a lot of people happened to really like those iterations of the show.

Granted, I actually do want a CW styled Ben 10, but less edgy Arrow style and more along the lines of The Flash, but I’d still take this too.

And now before we get into the top 3, let’s get into a few honorable mentions.

First up, we’ve got Steven Universe. Now honestly, this could work really well, the only issue with that is that we’ve kinda already seen this story told and that was with Steven Universe Future. Good stuff and a lot of potential, but we’ve seen it and I don’t think we need to see it again with a live action coat of paint.

Next up there’s Codename Kids Next Door. Honestly, I think the only real spinoff we need for Kids Next Door is Galactic. That’s it. Anything else is unnecessary. Still, with this sort of concept an older KND who has been decommissioned and feels like there’s something missing in their lives that they just don’t understand would be really cool. Although maybe that would work as like a movie or special or somethin’ I don’t know.

And finally for the last of the honorable mentions we’ve got Teen Titans. While I am trying to keep this list to CN Originals, I couldn’t help but bring this one up. How Long is Forever is one of my all-time favorite episodes of the 2003 series so I think seeing a series taking place in that timeline or something similar would be a lot of fun maybe for like a miniseries or something. And honestly, anything’s better than Titans.

With those three out of the way, back to the list.

Number 3: 

The Life and Times of Juniper Lee

In a world full of monsters and demons, June is the only one who sees them. This is the Life and Times of Juniper Lee and it makes number three on my list.

Now, like Time Squad, I didn’t watch much of this show. But what I do know about this show is that June is cool and she’s got this whole legacy and destiny by being the newest Te Xaun Ze, which are basically the magical protectors of her town. Only problem, and why I think that this direction for this show would actually be kinda cool, is the whole thing that the Te Xaun Ze is never allowed to leave the town at any point in their lives and oh boy, you could actually go really hard on that with this format since it’s literally built into the show.

Juniper Lee all grown up and just straight up depressed because she’s got the cool powers and grabs all the monsters but everyone around her has moved on in their lives. Friends have gone off to college and started all their lives and she’s got nothing but her family in Orchid Bay. You’d have a story of someone who once was big on their destiny who has accepted it but wishes that it wasn’t theirs anymore. I do know the show dealt with this a bit but with a new continuity and an older version of the character you really could just go in and deep on this.

I stand by that this would actually be pretty cool and kinda want it. Honestly, I like this idea so much that I wasn’t sure whether to put this in the number three or the number two spot, but y’know what? The next show told me a little secret that gave it the edge.

Number 2: 

The Secret Saturdays

That’s right, it’s the Secret Saturdays. 

Zak Saturday went all around the world with his parents discovering ancient cryptids, protecting the world and everything. He got some cool siblings in Fiskerton, Komodo and Zon. And then to add on top of that that he’s also the reincarnation of an ancient cryptid set to rule and control all the cryptids in the world? Yeah, that’ll do it. Definitely not the type of life he asked for and kid went through a lot because of it especially after losing those powers and apparently getting them back if we’re to count the Omniverse crossover TGIS to be canon.

But having parents like Zak’s, everything with the community of Secret Scientists and not really having many friends his own age or well, his own species will do that.

Exploring Zak and maybe Argost coming back for powers he might not want anymore and learning to embrace his destiny while also trying to patch up the Saturday family would be awesome.

Number 1:

Dexter’s Laboratory

Now while I know we already have a live action Dexter and it was an incredible hit, I- Wait, not the same show.

Ahem, Dexter’s Laboratory makes the top of this list. Partially because of it being PPG’s sister series but also partially because of the whole thing of there’s a lot you could do with Dexter’s character in terms of depression. If someone with such a high intellect were to somehow lose it all or just in some way, never really got forward in life, that would do it. Dexter could be a type of character that’s too stuck inside his own head in order to move forward. Alternatively, maybe Dexter is highly successful but has found there’s something missing in life or something. I dunno.

But whichever way you decide to go with Dexter’s character, you could have Dee Dee be pretty much the opposite of that. Maybe she’s found herself a place in life that she’s content with and Dex doesn’t understand why but wants it. I think going deep on this sort of emotional aspect of his life while also having all sorts of fun crazy science stuff would be a good watch.

All in all, gimme a Dexter’s lab show but we gotta make sure he keeps some form of an accent. No accent is a dealbreaker.

Although, I think that at the end of the day, animation should really just stay animated and that we don’t need to go live action for anything. All of these ideas I’ve presented, I’d of course rather prefer as cartoons with a more balanced tone more than anything but I figured with the announcement of a PPG show, this would be a silly but fun idea to talk about rather than ranting about it like most have. Granted, I’ve got some rants of my own since I still think it’s a bad idea. Haha. But you know how it goes.

At any rate those are all the shows I think would make better CW PPG style reboots than CW PPG. When it comes to the edginess and potential for drama, I feel these shows fit the bill better than the innocent, buttkicking action that was the Powerpuff Girls.

But what do you all think? Do you have any shows in mind that I haven’t mentioned? Do you think I’ve opened Pandora’s Box and given The CW more awful ideas? 

Now, this was originally a YouTube video so you can probably see that in the way that this post, especially the ending was written, but I just still don’t really have the energy to edit stuff so have this post instead. It’s something I really wanted to discuss and just decided, hey, why not make it a Tumblr post?

[avocadomin]

final kingdom rankings

i decided to do the dumb thing that took too long and ranked all of the kingdom stages based on my personal opinion and ranked my top 7 over all (unit stages included). once again this is an opinion and i’m more then happy to discuss other opinions on the stages, but don’t use this post to bash me or others if it differs from your own. this will include notes on both the performance and the music itself.

with that said i’ll keep it under the cut as this will probably be a long post (spoiler: it is </3):

quick note: i watched all the stages by group and each stage in chronological order as i was taking notes. there may be some repeats of things or i bring up something that’s in a lower ranking stage if a higher ranking stage was one of the more recent ones (hope that makes sense). also if you don’t want to read everything there’s a top 5 ranking and my own final group ranking at the bottom.

skz:

stage 3 - i’ll be your man: seungmin and jisung vocals!!! i’m still not too familiar with the original btob song so i’m not sure how skz’s version varies from it, but their version i think fits their team really well. chan took a little bit of a back burner this stage, but we really got to hear the vocal side of skz shine through this song esp in their lower register which i think it stronger then their upper one lmao. jisung is really the only one (that i think) can belt some of those high notes so consistently. on the actual performance side of things there was an interesting use of sets and props, but not over done. there were some really ineresting dance breaks esp at the end of the song. the story of the stage was also i think one of skz’s strongest (and no guns <3). i really hope skz does a song like this in the future cause they can obviously pull it off.

stage 2 - side effects / god’s menu: really loved how we got to see a different side of skz on this stage with their acting! i don’t think they had another stage that was quite like this one. also loved the mixing again with both side effects and god’s menu with how they used felix as the transition between the two songs, and the FAT synths during the ‘my head hurts’ right before going into god’s menu. while this is a strong stage musically, acting and energy wise. i feel like there was too much of a reliance on props and a lot of work was done by the dancers which was visually amazing!! but skz is a strong dance group too and i wish it wasn’t as flashy as it was.

final stage - wolfgang: this stage and their 2nd stage are honestly tied but i think wolfgang is slightly lower cause i prefer the mixing for the 2nd stage. really dissapointed there was no epic organ player that was killed at the end </3 but that aside i would say wolfganf is a just a really strong skz song that’s a little more in the 3racha style. i really liked how they tied in some of the points from their intro stages with the green mouth light things and some of the samples used in the track! the reason it’s middle of the pack (haha get it cause their wolves.....i’ll stop) for me is similar to the side effects stage as it relies a lot on their dancers and props. it was a really nice ending performance to end their time on kingdom. (also one of their most messiest stages, but it was probably the one with the least amount of time for practice with everything lmao)

intro stage - miroh: really great intro stage for the skz cause we really got a taste of what was to come with kingdom (sadly no jinnie). the mixing was insane and one of my faves i think for skz (esp minho’s part <3). it had the same height of energy as the original tack, just much darker, and there was decent balance between vocals, dance, and rapping. it also showed their great work as a team with the small stunts in the choreo.

stage 4 - god’s menu x d4: don’t get me wrong, this stage is really neat with the deadpool stuff, but it’s also a stage that won’t really age that well? it was more on the gimmicky side of kingdom stages and i’m not sure why they had a large chunk of the choreo with guns???? that’s not needed that you. going into the good things...binnie popped off!! he really stuck out to me this stage rap wise. also the drop for the first d4 chorus was very unexpected but also really satisfying? kinda reminds me of the drop in the chorus for 1team’s ‘make this’ (go check it out if you don’t know the song). over all a really fun stage and their energy was really good, but just wish it wasn’t quite and gimmicky as it was </3

ateez: man i miss mingi....comeback soon king

final stage - the real: ok this stage is also really really close to their wonderland stage but is just SLIGHTLY ahead it. this stage was probably one of the most fun ones to watch out of ateez’s kingdom performances because they seemed so loose? like they were really just feeling themselves on this stage and it just looked like they were really enjoying themselves out there like this is what they were born to do. i also love this song and it’s one of my fave recent releases from ateez again (i’m not too big of a fan of their fever series sorry </3). the energy, rap, vocals, choreo was just all there. i’m just really glad we were able to see one of these stages again where we go to see the group really just let loose and half so much fun performing before the end of kingdom.

stage 2 - from the wonderland: look...i KNOW there’s a tentacle, but i’m going to look past that. it might be the favoritism towards wonderland as it is one of my top ateez titles, but i think it they did do a really good job mashing it together with symphony no. 9. there was a decent balance between using props/reliance on dancers and the group actually dancing. jongho slayed that high note at the end, and it was actually placed well in the song where it didn’t seem out of place. and them the OUTRO just represents one of the main reason’s i love ateez with their amazing energy. high energy song, high energy choreo...just the perfect ending to get you hyped. also one last note....seonghwa looked so hot when he was walking through the line of dancers with that rifle (he just looked good this whole stage <3).

stage 3 - the awakening of summer: a very different style from the original and i’d say even a different style for ateez but it still works?? the beginning was a lil cheesy and not sure how the whisper talking/rapping through most of the song works for me, but the INSTRUMENTAL pls play it at my funeral...that synth line <3 i really liked the little choreo with the rope that san did and the overall choreo was also really strong. the outro was a little let down on the energy of it. it may be cause there was some slight timing issues with the vocals and backing track or they were just missing SOMETHING for it, but jongho slayed that belted note once again where i’m not too mad at it lmao.

stage 4 - answer: in the first half i really thought this was going to be one of my fave stages for ateez as the added strings were a nice touch and i loved how they made some references to their past songs and overall concept story line. overall musically in the first part it was decently balanced with a few ode to joy and answer. once it got to the part where it was the opera singers i was????? if they stopped there i think it could have still worked, but the ending there was just so much going on but it was also missing so much as well?? i didn’t understand jongho’s one belted note at the end. this was the only stage where i really felt it didn’t fit. they either needed to not add it at all or have him have one other note after it with maybe a break between the two notes to make it feel more complete. overall...a decent stage, but it really just didn’t have that ateez polish on it.

intro stage - wave: ok tbh i....kinda hated this stage? NOTHING on ateez or wave, just the song did not translate to the style they ended up choosing for it. i think say my name would have been a really strong intro song in the final style chose esp since it didn’t come up in their later stages. the choreo was really strong, but honestly the mixing just seemed like they forced two pieces together that didn’t fit.

the boyz: ok i just want to write a quick note as a general opinion i have across all their stages. tbz is a really solid group overall esp with dancing, but i feel like for kingdom they played it safe in a lot of ways and we didn’t see much variation of wow factors from their stages. they were good!! just (usually) fairly predictable like they set the bar high and then just never raised it again </3

stage 4 - monster: this ranks so high partially cause i love exo’s monster sm but besides that point </3 the vocal line seemed to be pretty much a copy paste from the original (not a bad thing at all) but once again the instrumental my beloved <3 i think because the vocal line was pretty much the same as exo’s made it a really nice balance between the original and tbz version. i wasn’t too sure about the giant snake towards the end, but it actually wasn’t too bad as it was more of just the use of an entrance, then just a bg prop after that. as with all of their stages, the choreo was really solid, but it was the arrangement of the song that really put this performance on the top.

final stage - kingdom come:  dance wise i think this is my favorite out of all their stages. they had neat transitions from their pre recorded parts of the stage and the live part of the stages. really liked the part where the hand off screen was controlling the chroeo. then the dance break/outro!! not sure what it was, but i think it just really highlighted their strengths in dancing as a group. the song itself didn’t stand out at all and i think that’s why it ranks lower then their monster stage. it sounds a lot like checkmate to me (possible blended with salty???) so it’s a solid track, but it just doesn’t sound that different from their past ‘finale sounding’ tracks. it was a nice stage to end on for them as it was really solid, and it capped of their time with the kingdom series well.

stage 2 - no air: tbh the orginal song for no air doesn’t do much but i LOVE this mix of it. it might be the slowdown of the chorus that really does it for me, but it’s one of my fave mixes for their stage. really solid choreo and i liked the paired dancing with the other dancers in the first chorus. i think tbz i one of the the better groups when it comes to non-power dancing....not sure how to word it, but they’re very graceful and i love when they show it off and the dancing in front of the white fabric was a really nice touch. they also pulled off their stunts really well!! that’s another things they’re pretty reliable in, but it’s something they don’t overuse which is nice. a very strong stage overall for them.

stage 3 - the red wedding: someone is going to murder me for this, but i’m not the biggest fan of o solo mio </3 tbz did a really good job with the song! music wise for me is just that the rap sections i think didn’t flow too well in their rendition of the song. i don’t remember how they fit in the original but it didn’t fit that well in this stage ;_; i thought the rest was really good! their use of props wasn’t overdone and added some interest to the choreo that was already really strong. also really enjoyed the sections in the birdcage with the female dancer. another really solid performance by them.

intro stage - the stealer: LOVED the choreo and formations for this performance. they’re a really strong dance group and i’m glad we got to see how good their dancing is with no props or anything. the song it’s self wasn’t too special, it was a solid mix but it seemed like something we’ve seen before? i think it reminded be of one of their stages from rtk, but i don’t remember which one ;_;

sf9:

stage 4 - move: CONGRATS TO SF9 FOR BEING THE ONLY GROUP THAT HAS TAEYANG. i could watch that man dance all day damn. the only thing i didn’t really like/understand was the very end where they were standing in the rain??? it would have been neat if they had one final dance break in the rain box or a solo dance or SOMETHING...it just didn’t need to be there otherwise </3 but everything else was SO GOOD. the concept of the stage was strong, the mixing was fit the group really well, and with move being such a difficult dance, the members did a really good job with it. the props/sets used i think added to it, and there was a good balance between those and the group actually dancing. glad to know taemin covers in the kingdom series did the original songs justice <3

final stage - believer: taeyang once again <3 overall the track sounds like a really solid b-side, but their performance really brought it up to a nice finale song. loved their references to their past stages with the props and formations with the dances, it wasn’t too much and didn’t distract from the rest of it. the use of reflections was also really well done!! that prop was super cool and loved how they played around with it. overall a really nice way to end kingdom for them, and i think dance and staging wise, it was one of my faves to come from them.

stage 3 - the scene: congrats sf9 for being the only group that has hwiyoung <3 tbh this stage would probably be my number one of they didn’t have the guns during the choreo </3 it just...brought it down so much for me (and the blurred out knife???). i think the mixing was pretty solid as it was close to tbz version, but made it fit sf9 really well. the fight scenes were super well done and i feel like did add something to the stage. then overall the dancing was really sharp this time around!! a super good stage....just take out the dancing guns.

stage 2 - jealous: this was one of the few stages outside the introductions that didn’t have a super heavy reliance on props, they didn’t rank well, and then we never saw a stage like it again </3 i loved this stage!! it didn’t change drastically music wise, but i really liked the kind of rock style? remix of now or never and it fit well with the concept of the stage. the formations!!! in this performance were some of my fave and loved the bits of choreo we saw when the members were dancing with the female dancers. there were some parts with the members weren’t quite in sync with each other, but overall it was really solid and sad we didn’t get to see a stage like this one again ;_;

intro stage - good guy: if sf9 just did suit concepts in the future i would not be mad <3 but overall a solid intro stage! there wasn’t much difference music wise except in the dance break in the beginning from the original song. choreo was pretty crisp and overall done well. there were no ‘wow’ factors in this stage, but a very solid one overall. 

ikon:

final stage - at ease: tbh i wasn’t too sure about the song in previews, but it’s grown a lot on me as this past week went on. it’s a great hype song and has the energy of ikon that i really love. the drop the in the chorus is really satisfying and it was just as satisfying visually in the performance as well. they used their dancers really well and the members also did really well with the chorus choreo. it was just overall a really satisfying stage for ikon and it was the only stage in my opinion they ramped up their more laid back energy and worked so well.

stage 2 - to the world: this is one of the stages that really does age pretty well. i wasn’t a huge fan of it mainly bc of the ending and it’s still not my fave but it didn’t take away as much from the stage as i remember. i LOVE both love scenario and killing me. the love scenerio portion of the stage i think it still one of my fave ikon moments. the acting was solid and i liked their story with it. in some ways i wish at least killing me was a little more hard hitting and less a copy and paste for the most part from their original. love scenario was an amazing opening but killing me needed something to make a solid ending song as it caused the energy of the stage to kinda fall off or not really raise at all. overall i do really like this stage, it just needs more of something for the ending.

intro - rhythm ta: i think this was my 2nd fave intro stage right being skz’s. i love the formation in the beginning and the vocal fry on the ‘ikon is back’ was a nice touch. it also just seemed like the most loose intro stage? like this wasn’t their first rodeo and just felt really comfortable on this stage. overall loved the energy of the stage, and there was solid mixing of the song and good choreo.

stage 3 - inception: this isn’t hate on bobby or anything but his rap parts really bought this performance down for me </3 it might have just been an off day or smth but...yeah. otherwise i really liked the stage!! the mixing was really intresting and they really made inception into their own ikon style. the sets used was also probably my fave overall? it was really really neat with the changing sets to match the song title. also the ending was super cool with the dancers in that final formation where they kinda slowed down. a really cool stage overall.

stage 4 - classy savage: family watching yg tv time <3 i think there was a really nice balance of both the original bp song and ikon’s style. tbh it seems opposite of what i said with the boyz..the insturmental seemed pretty close to blackpink’s, but the vocal/rap was very much the ikon style. the reason this one is so low for me is because it seemed like two separate stages with lisa? it was really neat that she was added, but it would have been so cool if he joined in with them for the final outro or something. she even had the same lyrics to the blackpink song as ikon’s changed so it just made it that much more separate. if lisa either joined in more with ikon or she wasn’t added at all i think this would have ranked a lot higher on my list </3

btob: another quick note....i think on the performance end btob is the opposite of tbz. they don’t do much with choreo but they’re such an enjoyable group to watch and their VOCALS are always so stable so i probably won’t have many notes on their dancing lmao

stage 4 - blue moon: concept and comedy kings <3 idk they were really feeling themselves but it looked like they were having so much fun on stage and it made me have a smile on my face the entire time. the concept of the movie worked so well with the style of the jazzy tune. i’m not too familiar with the original bside so i’m not sure how much it differs or if it does at all. there’s really nothing i would change from this stage...it’s just so enjoyable to watch from the concept, vocals, and peniel playing that piano terribly <3

stage 3 - back door: really close to their blue moon stage for me. i really feel like they got the hang of the kingdom stages at this point. i loved their remix of back door. they took a rap heavy song and turned it in to a vocal heavy one so well?? truly made it their own. the weird drop(?) after they say back door just works so well for me and the inclusion of the electric guitar is so NEAT. there wasn’t much as far as dancing except for the small bit at the end and in one of the ‘dressing rooms’ but it really worked for the concept of the stage. idk it’s just a really fun stage to watch and a really good hype energy at the end.

final stage - show and prove: TALK ABOUT A FINALE STAGE. i love this song on it’s own and it’s probably my top song or in the top 2 for the original kingdom songs. this stage is another one that’s so close with their blue moon and back door stage, but i think it ranks a little lower then the other two as there was choreo from the members (or at least not a lot at all). but even with that this stage didn’t feel any less grand then the other finale performances because they killed the vocal parts so much and the song itself is such a GOOD ending song. oh man i would rate this higher if dancing or concept also was involved ;_;

intro stage - beautiful and painful: (i think that’s what it’s called?): vocal kings <3 they really said we’re the best vocalists on this show with this intro and you know? they’re correct. i wasn’t too sure on this stage when i first watched it since it was so different compared to the other groups, but watching it again now it’s a really strong intro stage. btob is a really strong vocal group and they established that really early on and only gave us a taste of what they were really able to do. a great intro stage overall. 

stage 2 - missing you: overall the stage is really beautiful with the lighting and the trees, but similar to ikon’s stage with lisa it seemed really disjointed. the vocal sections were really strong on their own and the dance break section this was really cool on it’s own, but it didn’t mesh together super well :/ a decent stage for sure, i just wish they kept the style of the dance break or just kept it the style of the vocal stage. i think they might have just added that dance section in there as the other groups had such dance heavy performances and theirs didn’t, but again it just kinda took something away from it </3

unit stages: i’m not going to write notes on the unit stages cause i’ve already written so much on the group stages lmao but if you want to more about/wonder why one ranked lower then another than pls ask! i’m just too done with this post to write it now. i will say 2-4 are really close in ranking. love poem took the whole thing for me and i wasn’t a huge fan of wither rap unit stage </3

love poem

wolf

king and queen- both performances teams are really close in ranking after a rewatch

spark

colors

full dash

top 7 stages overall: cause i couldn’t choose 5 </3

love poem (i think it’s cause minnie brainrot but we’re not going to talk about it thank u)

i’ll be your man

blue moon

the real

from wonderland

side effects / god’s menu

move

final group rankings:

stray kids (call it favoritism, but they deserved it)

ateez

btob (if kingdom was only vocal/music they would have won in my opinion)

sf9

the boyz

ikon