#it came to the point that I sometimes I was even uncomfortable by it
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
winchesterwild78 · 1 day ago
Text
Second Take pt 3
Tumblr media
Master List
Characters: Jensen x Reader, Karl Urban, Eric Kripke, other characters from the set of The Boys
Warnings: Angst, mention of divorce, soft smut (nothing too graphic…yet 😉)
A/N: Jensen and Reader are together and share a vulnerable moment. They decide to keep their relationship a secret for now. Before filming starts, the reader gets ready to fly back to Texas with Jensen. Jensen and Danneel decide to tell the kids. 
This is a work of fiction and does not depict real life. 
Reblogs, comments and likes are appreciated. 
Please don’t take my work and use it as your own or on any other platform. 
Minors DNI 18+
The next few days Jensen and I worked on mending our relationship. We made the decision to keep our relationship private for now. We didn’t want any problems for Danneel, Jensen or the kids, especially the kids. 
Since we hadn’t started filming yet, Jensen was flying back to Texas so he and Danneel could tell the kids about the divorce. I could tell he was nervous. 
I pulled him close to me and wrapped my arms around his waist, “Babe, it’s going to be okay. I’m sure there will be tears and lots of questions, but with you and D as a united front on this, they will be okay. 
I looked up at him and placed a soft kiss on his lips. “Come home with me.” I looked up at him with shock in my eyes, “What?” “Come home with me, back to Texas. I’m staying in a hotel and you and I can spend time together. It would mean so much to me to have you there. I’ll get you your own room so it doesn’t raise suspicion. You can visit Moose too. I know he and Gen would love to see you.”
“Can I think about it? I really don’t want to cause problems or make D uncomfortable.” He smirked. “What’s so funny, Ackles?” His lips ghosted mine, “You are. You are the most incredible woman I’ve ever met. You being concerned about D proves my point.” He placed a soft kiss on my lips but pulled away before it got too heavy. 
We decided to wait to have sex. We didn’t put a time frame on it, but we knew we didn’t want to rush it. It was damn near impossible to resist him and he knew it. 
The night before he was leaving Jensen and I were spending a quiet evening at my place. We ordered some food and we were going to hang out and watch a movie. At least that was the plan. 
We ordered the food and were getting comfortable on the couch. When Jensen’s phone rang. It was a FaceTime call from Danneel. 
“Sorry babe, I need to take this.” I nodded and stood up to give him some privacy. 
I walked in the kitchen as he answered, it was JJ. 
“Hey JJ. How are you, baby?” She sniffled, “Daddy are you coming home?” 
“Yes baby, why? I’ll be home tomorrow.” She looked at Jensen and got quiet. “Baby, it’s okay. What happened?” “Uncle Gino came over cause mommy was crying and I heard them talking about you and mommy told Uncle Gino you had a girlfriend and you weren’t coming home.” 
Jensen’s jaw clenched and he ran his fingers through his hair. I stood leaning against the counter in shock. I couldn’t believe she’d do that. 
“Baby I promise I’ll be home tomorrow. We have some things to talk about, but I promise I will be there. Where’s your mama?”
JJ sighed and smiled a little bit at him. “She’s downstairs with Uncle Gino. I took her phone to call you.” “It’s okay baby girl. Can you take the phone to mommy? I want to talk to her.” “Okay, Daddy. I love you.” “I love you too, baby.” 
My heart clenched in my chest. Being with Jensen is so easy and it’s sometimes easy to forget he has children and a life outside our little bubble. 
“Hey Jensen.” I could hear her. “Danneel, I thought we agreed to tell the kids together and before we told anyone else?” 
“We did. I haven’t told the kids anything.” “No, but you told Gino and JJ heard you. You told him I had a girlfriend?! What the hell D?!” 
I couldn’t see them, but I knew Jensen was mad. “Well it’s the truth. You do have a girlfriend.” “D don’t do that. Don’t act like you don’t have a boyfriend yourself. Yeah, I know all about him and how he’s been coming over for a few months after I leave and the kids go to sleep or school.” 
“How did you know?!” “Cameras, D.” 
She gasped, “Jens, I can explain.” 
The doorbell rang and I walked to open the door. As I walked past I saw Jensen hold his hand up, “Stop Danneel. I don’t care about your boyfriend, but you’re not going to turn yourself into the victim here. We are moving forward with the divorce, we are telling our children together and we will coexist peacefully regardless of who we have in our lives. Our children deserve that.”
“I’ll talk to JJ and try to explain what I can. When are you getting in tomorrow?” 
Jensen let out a sigh, “My plane lands about 9 in the morning. I’ll go check into the hotel and head to the house.” 
“Jens, why are you staying in a hotel?” “D I think it would be best if I didn’t stay at the house.” 
“Jensen, don’t be like that. I think you should stay here for the sake of the kids. We’re about to tell them their parents are splitting up. You don’t think that’s going to be hard on them?”
Jensen ran his hand down his face and sighed, “I know it’s going to be hard on them, hell it’s hard on me, I just don’t want them to be confused if I’m still staying at the house.” 
“Jens, stay in the guestroom. They are going to need both of us.” “Fine, I’ll stay at home.”
I gasped softly in the kitchen when I heard him. I was planning on going with him, but now was it worth me going if he was staying with her? 
My heart clenched in my chest and the familiar feeling of jealousy started to creep in my mind. He loves me. He wants to be with me. They are done, but they have a history together. She’s the mother of his children. She’s beautiful.
Tears pricked my eyes. I was worried and didn’t know how to tell him. 
I heard him groan as he stood and I heard his heavy steps coming towards the kitchen. 
I quickly wiped my eyes, fighting the tears that threatened to fall. My back to the door as Jensen came into the kitchen. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me flush to his chest.
Jensen moved my hair away from my neck and placed a soft kiss to my pulse point. “Hey, sorry about that.” “It’s fine. Is JJ okay?” “Yeah, she heard D telling Gino about the divorce.”
I nodded, “I’m glad she’s okay.” My voice came out smaller than I wanted it to. Jensen picked up on it and turned me to face him. I lowered my head, a lump formed in my throat.
He tilted my chin up, “Hey, talk to me. What’s wrong baby?” I took in a shaky breath and let it out. “I don’t think I’m going to go with you. I’d just be in the way.” 
Jensen’s brows furrowed, “What? No, you wouldn’t be. D and I will tell the kids and then we will figure out what to do from there.” “I heard you, Jensen. You’re staying at the house. If you’re with the kids I don’t want to take time away from them. I know I could go visit Jared and Gen, but I can’t stay there with them all day and all night. You need to focus on your children, not me. I love you Jensen, I can’t keep you from taking care of them. You go and I’ll stay here.” 
Jensen’s face fell. “I understand, but I really want you to be there. I know I’m staying at the house, but I would still come to the hotel and be with you.” I scoffed. The sad and angry feeling in my chest grew. 
Jensen looked at me, “What? Why did you scoff?” Jensen’s eyes searching mine for answers. 
“I don’t think this is a good idea. I feel like a dirty secret. I know we agreed to keep our relationship between us for now, but you were mine first. You should have married me, those children should be mine! Damnit Jensen, she’s taken everything from me and now I can’t even be with you. I have to stay in a hotel room and wait for you to return to me like I’m a cheap whore. I’m worth more than that. I DESERVE more than that. I would never do anything to hurt your children. They didn’t ask to be born and they deserve so much. I just want to feel like I’m worthy of your time and love too.”
The tears I had been holding started to fall heavy and fast. My chest heaving. The anger and hurt from the past 13 years finally boiling over. 
Jensen pulled me tight in his arms and held me. I sobbed into his chest. “Baby you’re not a dirty secret, and you’re right I should be married to you, but I’m not. I made a choice all those years ago, but baby I’m making one now and it’s you. It will always be you. You’re not a cheap whore, you’re the love of my life, my soulmate, my home. I never stopped loving you and I never will. If you don’t want to go home with me I understand. I want you to go, but it’s your choice.” 
He gently wiped the tears away and kissed my forehead. My breath hitched as I held him tighter. 
“Jensen, I think you should go. I need some space. Some time to think and I can’t do that with you here.” A lump formed in my throat and my heart broke. 
Jensen pulled back a little and looked in my eyes. His green eyes filled with hurt and sadness, “Y/N, please don’t push me away. We can figure this out, but only if we do it together.” 
I shook my head, “I know, but I need time Jensen.” He nodded, “I understand. I love you, Y/N. Call me when you’re ready to talk.” He placed a soft kiss on my lips, grabbed his stuff and left. 
I stood in the spot I was in frozen and couldn’t move. The familiar feeling of him leaving all those years again was filling my heart and soul. 
I pulled out my phone, ready to call anyone who would listen when I heard a knock on the door. 
I walked over, opened the door and gasped, “Jensen?!” He stepped in, dropped his bag and pulled me to him, crashing his lips on mine. 
When he pulled away he cupped my face, “I made the mistake of not fighting for you all those years ago and I’m not going to do it again. I love you and you’re in my life for the rest of it. I don’t care who sees us or what anyone has to say about it. I’m going to tell the kids tomorrow with Danneel about the divorce and then I’m coming back to the hotel to be with you. If the kids want to come they can, but I’m not letting you go again. I’m not letting us go again. I love you, Y/N Y/L/N. Now and forever.” 
I stood in stunned silence. The pain I was feeling started to heal a little. He was choosing me, choosing us and damn it felt good. I kissed him softly. “What about Danneel?” “I’ll tell her it’s not a good idea for me to stay there and offer to let the kids come to the hotel if they want to. I don’t want them to be confused about me staying there after we tell them we are splitting up. I’ll look for a place in Texas so the kids can have a place when I come home. Better yet, we should look for a place in Texas. A place for us and the kids. What do you say? Let’s find a place in Texas and move in together.” 
I looked stunned, “Jens, this is all happening so fast. Let’s slow down a bit. You find a place in Texas, and if and when I decide to move it with you I will just move into your place. I can help you find a place if you want.”
He nodded, “Okay, I understand. I just don’t want to waste any more time when it comes to our relationship.” I placed my hands on his chest, “We aren’t wasting time, we are learning how to be together again. As long as we’re together it doesn’t matter if we live under the same roof or not. I think we shouldn’t live together until your divorce is final.” 
Jensen agreed. “Will you at least still come to Texas with me tomorrow?” “Yes, Jensen. I’d love to.”
He smiled, pulled me close and kissed me. The kiss deepened quickly. Before either of us could process what was happening we were laying on the bed making out. 
My heart hammered in my chest, our eyes dark with lust. Jensen’s lips ghosted mine, “Do you want to stop?” I took a deep breath, “No. I’m ready, Jensen.”
Jensen’s hands slowly removed my clothes and then his. Goosebumps erupted on my skin due to the chilly air and the anticipation. 
His lips ghosting over my body and making my breath catch in my throat. “Do you want more, baby?” I moaned and nodded. “Use your words sweetheart.” “Yes, Jensen. Please make love to me. Take me now.” 
Jensen’s body hovered over mine as he finally took me. I grabbed the sheets and gasped as he filled and stretched me with every inch he had to offer. 
I had forgotten how amazing he felt. Our bodies moved in perfect sync and the sounds that filled my bedroom were like silent prayers to heaven. About an hour later Jensen was laying on his back and I was on his chest. His fingers drew delicate patterns on my skin. 
“That was incredible, Y/N. God I missed you.” “Yes it was, Jensen. I missed you too. I’m sorry about earlier. I guess I haven’t really dealt with the pain of the past.” 
“Shh, no, don’t apologize. You have every right to still be angry. I’m glad you were able to get some of that out. I’m sure you’re still holding on to some more. I just hope one day you will be able to get it out.” 
“Honestly the only thing I’m still holding on to is the loss of our baby. When you left I figured if I had our baby at least I’d still have a piece of you, of our love with me. Then I lost the baby and I just felt so alone. I lost the love of my life, and our baby and it hurt so much.” 
His thumb rubbed softly over my cheek, “I am still so sorry you went through that alone. If I knew I would have been by your side. Maybe eventually we could try again. Have a baby of our own, if it’s something you’d want.”
“You’d want another child? You have three already.” “I do, and they are amazing, but I don’t have any with you and I’d love to have at least one with you.” 
I smiled softly, “We can talk about it. Just not right now. We need to sleep. We have an early flight. I love you, Jensen. Good night.” 
“I love you too, Y/N. Good night.” 
He kissed my lips and the two of us relaxed against each other and drifted off to sleep. 
Tags are open, if you want to be added or removed, let me know.  
Tags: 
@nescaveckwriter @kr804573 
@k-slla @jackles010378 
@jawritter @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx 
@roseblue373 @cheynovak 
@jassackles  @chriszgirl92
@suckitands33 @arcannaa 
@n-o-p-e-never @ladysparkles78 
@smoothdogsgirl @hobby27 
@manicjk @stoneyggirl2 
@deans-spinster-witch @snowayumi 
@shadowqueen1318 @shanimallina87
@muhahaha303 @fitxgrld
@nancymcl @baby19sthings
@cheekygirl2309 @oceean
@kindollss @foxyjwls007
@lmg14 @cevansbaby-dove
@spxideyver @reignsboy19
@deans-baby-momma @deansimpalababy
@ladykitana90 @quietgirll75 
@superrey @kamisobsessed
@obliviousap @ninii-winchester
@mischiefnevermanaged89-blog @whimsyfinny
@bobbdylan @star-yawnznn
@reignsboy19 @monkey-d-hoshizora98
@depressionbarbie2023 @livingdeadblondequeen
@mandee7 @barnes70stark
@spnaquakindgdom @djs8891
@pughsexual @spnaquakindgdom
@lunaleah @amberlthomas 
@impala67rollingthroughtown
41 notes · View notes
saturnservers · 3 days ago
Text
okay, not to burst some bubbles, but i do LOVE kazam.. i just know it would never work out? like i love the idea of kazam... like... okay, so kazam will never be a healthy thing until kaboodle understands herself or understands how to healthily manage her feelings in regards to her lack of ... guidance? all she has is karmas law to guide her morals and actions, but that's a thing she keeps separated from her "true" self. like some omnipotent thing she can't control (she can) [more below cut... this is a YAP fest now]
and on top of that, her mistreatment (intentional or not) of zam, and even other people around her is so? like okay, lets not get upset she killed a naked jepexx, lets not be stupid, the same thing has happened to her before so she just thinks its a thing that happens, its not right but i'll defend her there.
but her interpersonal relationships really bum me out? i think lskab is vv capable of learning, and her parallel of s4 zam w eclipsefed and zam taking that role for her... like zam grew, and so could they but for now? It's understandable why people dont like lskab, because we dont even know who lskab is... like? what does she stand for? what are her morals? she could say it's karmas law and keeping the server going, but is it?
take for example, mawn. zam and kab both love spawn and want preserve it, constantly rebuilding the homes and builds there, but when mawn came around, while yes zam left bcs he didnt wanna fight mapicc, another reason is bcs zam acknowledged people LIKED mawn. they ENJOYED not dying every time they went to mawn. and zam was unwilling to take that from the server
meanwhile, kab wants to keep spawn active, so she created her own, one that actively rivals mawn not just in name but in status, in activity, in function. and she seems to behave so naively about it? she thinks no one will blow it up, but manepear isn't the only one with access to tnt, and sure, re:spawn is above mawn, but it's the same chunks? if the stone and caves below mawn are still mawn, if zams Island is still mawn, then surely, so is re:spawn? i feel like.. this wasn't thought through very well... and beyond that, it's the fact that kab keeps going, "No one, person should own spawn," but mawn belongs to flame AND mapicc... and to a certain extent? even spoke and jepexx
It's just idk... lskab doesn't think through things vv well because she has a certain belief of how people act, and she thinks they wouldn't defy their expectations. meanwhile, zam is someone who thinks and overthinks every action every word, every look he gives up. its to the point that he gives people the bod because he KNOWS them, while lskab decides to trust immediately and then despise... kab is so .... genuinely interesting?
like you either hate lskab or love her, and im like... can we acknowledge her flaws and their misguided nature while also seeing her strengths and kindness and love?? i am talking abt lstwt btw,,, vv scary rn... anyways.. shoutout kazam, i hope they go to prom together and have another falling out bcs, lskab reminds zam why he is so uncomfortable around them!
like i get so annoyed w lskabs mischaracterizations sometimes, but i love that? its so human to expect someone to behave one way and be shocked when they dont. even though i do think lskab and zam could def learn from one another, lskab holds a refreshing pov (being a new player and encouraging zam to build a place for himself [i think?!]) and zam holds very wise advice (for a new player whos going a similar path, zam is a very reliable person rn and a very loyal one too, beyond his paranoia), idk i just think they could be an awesome duo and even though theyre super toxic and fit like a dog and a cat, kazam is vv interesting and i hate that people just dont want to talk about it...
or ideally, in a perfect world shaped in my image, zam and planet go together since bacon won't take planet.... dandelion duo COME BACK PLEASEEEEEE
15 notes · View notes
a-bad-case-of-the-stephs · 6 hours ago
Text
OMG so glad people are talking abt azrael 1995 i have sooo many thoughts about it. Denny O’Neil has worked on so many amazing comics, but Azrael 95 is like his little personal project and there’s so much weird shit that occurs narratively and thematically that makes me wonder abt the guy sometimes.
On the topic of Batman being a POS to Azrael, at least part of that is because O’Neil probably needed to get Azrael out on his own. If he had Batman agree to go with JPV to fight the order of st Dumas, the comic would be Batman, fighting the order of st Dumas, instead of Azrael. But it definitely gets kind of excessive. And it doesn’t explain why he can’t like.. train JPV off “camera” so to speak or in the background or even in a mini. Batman often comes across like he just hates JPV. I personally read this as a consequence of JPV being a reminder of his weakest point in Bruce’s life since his parents died: Batman at his most vulnerable. And also a reminder of his fallacy of judgement w Azbats of course. Also, the ‘lesson’ of Knightfall kind of fails within Azrael: Batman frees JPV to discover his own identity and find himself outside the Batman mantle, he literally lets JPV walk away from the alternative, jail: and JPV ends up in a homeless shelter and spends the rest of Azrael 95 still trying to figure out who he is, never quite succeeding for long. It can be taken as an meta ironic play on the fact that how Batman’s identical lesson he receives from Knightfall continues to be rehashed arc after arc event after event, Bruce never really learns his lesson either: he’s always pushing someone away, he’s always falling too far into the Bat mantle and trying to do everything on his own. Neither ‘learn their lesson’ and so Batmans apparent hatred of JPV could be taken as a disgust and uncomfortableness with this fact.
The whole ‘greatest mistake’ but is so funny to me because because it’s such a common way that Batman referred to JPV and making JPV Batman during Knightfall I literally made a joke drawing when Jason came back to life and Bruce called him his worst mistake instead, with JPV holding a mug that said: “Batman’s Second Worst Mistake”. Would post it but I don’t have it rn unfortunately. Point is you’re so so right.
I really really recommend reading Knightfall by the way, I know it’s like 72 issues but it’s so so good. The BBC Radio Drama is a good substitute tho, a lot of the dialogue is ripped straight from the comics, but it misses a few moments.
JPV could technically return to school, you’re so right, and It’s strange that it doesn’t really come up so much. And I hadn’t really thought about why he doesn’t. Even when he has like his ‘lol I’m going to be normal and not Azrael arc’ I don’t think he talks about returning to grad school. Could be forgetting tho.
A Lot of details about Jean Paul and his “civilian” life make no fucking sense. Idk if youve read NML yet, but a lot of those inconsistencies start to shine through there, which is super strange given I’m pretty sure Denny O’Neil was writing those issues too. Basically, we get indications that JPV never had a “normal” life, despite his computer grad apparent civilian life and pretty average behavior v early on in Sword of Azrael. (Vague bc I’m Trying not to spoil in case you haven’t read the issue I’m thinking of here) Which is so weird. Honestly one of the things I think Rebirth did well was how they retconned these aspects of Azraels character into one clear story which encapsulated them both.
I'm reading the OG run of Azrael (1995) by Denny O'Neil and honestly Batman/Bruce just irks me in a way I really didn't expect. I'm reading issue #36 and my biggest gripe is...why doesn't he teach him?Like legitimately why doesn't he teach him, or atleast send him to someone who could. That just feels so obvious to me.
It's obvious JPV is a danger to himself and others, and it's obvious Bruce's initial plan of just....giving him the mantal without any help and extremely minimal training wouldn't work but even if he says he doesn't blame JPV um????? You sure aren't acting like it???? Seriously that guy needs an ACTUAL therapist (and no, Brian doesn't count when he so obviously needs his own mental help). He is traumatized, extremely repressed, and is being actively manipulated by Lilhy and I'm just.....MAN.
People say Jason is his greatest mistake but honestly I think it might be tied with JPV at this point, bc unlike Jason (I may be wrong, haven't read Under the Red Hood yet), Bruce has so. many. chances. It's so obvious Jean-Paul looks up to him, he wants to do something good and I get he wasn't Bruce's responsibility, but I do think after Bruce took him into vigilanteism he has an obligation to help. He took those lessons to heart and made them vital parts of himself, that he had to help people and he had to go out in order to do that.
Like JPV had a life. He was getting a degree in computer science for christ's sake. Why didn't Bruce just...let him go back to that? (Tbf i may be misinformed on that last part , I did not read the Knightfall saga I listened to the radio drama instead when I found out there was one.) But seriously. He's rich. Just...get him a psychologist and leave him alone.
23 notes · View notes
ryctone · 4 months ago
Text
I know I don't usually rant about stuff I don't like but listen; I honestly don't care what you ship (as long as it isn't, you know, gross- you know what I mean) you are having fun and that's what matters, but please please PLEASE tag your ship art/discussions correctly so that not only the people who like the ship can see it, but ALSO for the people who have the ship filtered DON'T HAVE TO!
Even a simple "[character] x [character]" tag can suffice, otherwise people may just block you bc there's not really a 'mute blog' button here!
6 notes · View notes
sciderman · 1 year ago
Note
i relate to peter parker because i’ve had six crushes this year alone
damn son save some for the rest of us!!
#sci speaks#i think i've only ever had one crush in my life. wilding. i wish i fell in love easier. it feels wonderful.#oh the people with hyperactive hearts...#i wish i had felt this way at some point when i was younger. it kind of felt like my heart wasn't fully developed yet.#holds my heart in my hands. why were you such a late bloomer. why didn't you feel more things earlier on.#i'm kind of sad that i didn't have teenage crushes or anything. i feel like i missed out.#is it because nobody around me was appealing. or is it because i was too busy on my own planet.#i think i wasn't really close with a lot of people when i was younger. i kind of never came out of my shell.#so nobody got close enough to me for me to like them.#not that it's necessarily how it works. but it takes a lot for me to get there with somebody i think.#i think a lot of the relationships i've been in i'm still To This Day not even sure if i actually liked them back in that way.#squeezes my heart in my hand. why are you so fussy.#i wish i had more experiences under my belt. i really do. but also i don't want to be in situations that are uncomfortable either.#and i don't want to just be there for the sake of it.#lies on the floor and stares at the ceiling. i don't know what i want.#is love the answer?#i don't know. sometimes i want it more than anything. but it's such a ball-ache to get. sometimes you think you're better off without it.#i wish i knew what i wanted. i think i just want to be brave enough to find out.#why do i ramble so much in my tags. it's like tumblr is my therapist or something.#i'm feeling weird about myself lately. just kind of a little tired. i don't feel bad. but kind of perpetually low-energy.#like i never have the time to do things that make me happy. and when i do get the time i don't have the energy.#is this what it's like to live in this world. i need like. a year's break from work. i think.#i need like a year-long vacation. i need a gap year. i need a year to live life.#i wonder if it's financially viable. i think i'd eat through everything i have if i did that. but.#you can get money back. you can't get your time back.
39 notes · View notes
Text
Do you ever read a post where someone is explaining a pokitical thing and from the way they're saying you know with absolute certainty 1) they got their info from a tumblr post and have never actually followed up on how feasible that information actually is to act upon (they may not even have checked if it was CORRECT, but when they do they have clearly not looked into how easy or hard it may be to follow those instructions with a positive outcome), and 2) you know WHICH tumblr post they're quoting because it is basically a copy/paste of it, and 3) it was YOUR goddamn post and the thing they are saying is entirely counter to the point you were making when you said it to the point that you genuinely wonder if they just like. Memory-holed the entire context once they saw that one itty bitty point.
It's like the motherfuckiny dating apps all over again. I do not want people to love my words if they are not actually willing to do the work of understanding them! Didn't your kindergarten ever make you play Telephone to teach you how heresay falls out????
#sometimes i feel like a prized 12 point buck and everyone is desperate to give chase so they can skin me and wear my pelt in memorium#the luxury of being seen is rarely extended to those we perceive as confident/constant in their sense of self#the path of being a child who was constantly told i was making people uncomfortable and alienating my peers#only to immediately become an adult who everyone perceives as so together that they are just Like That With Everyonr#brennan said something like this in the disection of a recent misfits and magic episode about sam (character)#and how he (as evan) realized that the charm and specialness she gifts to everyone around her means that no one ever really gifts it back#and how that fundamentally felt transcendent and revelatory for evan as a turning point idea#he'd spent so long never trusting others feelings of care for him that he couldn't see how he was bulldozing right into and over sam's own#insecurities about whether or not she is worth loving or is special in the same way#and then they had some back and forth about like#sometimes when you develop the skill of relateability and pacification#you disappear so deeply into it that no one notices you're gone - even you yourself - until it's too late#it put to words a lot of the like#gap. that i've always felt between me and others. this insistance on elevating or pathologizing me depending on where they feel the need#to be in relation to me#while having absolutely zero awareness of my actual positioning in relation to them#i have found that they way i interact with others seems to give the impression that because i am being 'genuine' and 'open' about myself#that ALSO means that I am sharing the whole of me.#and when i talk about destigmatization and shame and people work really hard to be like. aware of the edges of me to carch me embarrassed#like if they can prove that i don't 'admit' something it's because i'm ashamed as opposed to considering that maybe they don't have the kind#of relationship with me that would warrant the sharing of it#because i'm willing to talk i am no longer allowed privacy or it's treated as incongruous#but like. i am different people for different people and they are all authentically me but they are also about faciliting the version#of the other person that matters to me to be able to spend time with. i'm not going to bring the parts of me that put you in a bad mood#or aren't comfortable/safe for you. also probably not going to put those things out into the open world as a mixed company conversation#i don't know where I'm going or where I came from here but i think the point is just that I think there's melancholy in seeing when#you also don't know a reliable way to be seen in turn
6 notes · View notes
priafey · 6 months ago
Text
i had the day off so i spent like five hours doing budgeting. jesus fuck why is everything so expensive
#i'd need to make over double of what i'm making now to be able to live on my own#either a.) without a car + with a roommate somewhere near the city#which means i'd have to learn to use the public transport here. i've looked into it and none of the bus lines go beyond a very limited part#of the metro area so i'd need to find work somewhere within there.#or b.) with a car + renting on my own somewhere further out. the commute would be ass and the car maintenance even assier#thing is i really‚ really need to figure this out because i NEED to get out of this house for good#after i graduate i cannot land back in here.#there's this really cute girl i met at the club last month and we've been talking a lot and i'd love to be with her and i know she would to#but she's trans and my parents would legit throw me out of the house if they found out#and she doesn't deserve to be hidden‚ y'know? i want to be able to tell everyone i know and care about about us#but i just can't do that right now. and i hate the thought of missing out on relationships and stifling myself like this out of fear#i talk a big game sometimes but i'm TERRIFIED of the people and the things i've noticed i'm attracted and drawn to#because i know what my parents say about 'those' people. i've heard every mean-spirited‚ downright disgusted thing they've said#and for all the smiles and the hugs my family throws my way i know what they are. i've seen the treatment they give queer family members.#i have an uncle who didn't speak to his daughter for almost a decade when she came out as a lesbian#it was only a couple years ago that they started to reconnect and she can't even bring her partner to family gatherings because it makes#people 'uncomfortable'#i'm sorry i'm rambling at this point but i just wish things would get a little easier. instead i feel all this pressure and everything#getting harder#nothing left to do except put on my big boy pants i guess#sansgwilie
3 notes · View notes
run-down-that-dream · 1 year ago
Text
#so. funny story bc I want to be a little melodramatic right now and I've earned it#this became one of my favorite songs back in 2018 ? maybe 2019 ? and it has been since#tom was not even a thought in my mind at that point in my life#when I found it. I had no idea#I loved stevie. she led me to tom. but not YET#but there's THIS. mike was right there this whole time akdhjsjs#and sometimes I wonder if we're kinda. Meant to find these people. our favorite people y'know#I didn't get that it was him back then but I figured it out through tom eventually. and you know what?#I couldn't be more grateful#I literally cannot express how grateful I am that I found him lol#so when I'm in the tags like aaaa I love him. and being totally annoying about it. (don't sugarcoat I know I am) it's REAL.#his music has been there for me and is more reliable than anyone I've ever actually met and I love it#and I'm just now realizing how much more his music has been there for me without me even realizing it at the time#ANYWAY. he's also possibly one of the most talented people ever in the world and no I don't take criticism on that#and it makes me sad sometimes that I don't really have a lot of people anymore to share that with#seems like once I stopped posting about tom all the time my blog kinda. died#so. I've been getting a little bit frustrated about it being the tom show around here#and I'm sorry if that ever came across or made anyone uncomfortable. not my intention at all#I just took it all a little too personally when I shouldn't have#kind of an.. isolating experience tho#aaand I don't remember where else I was going with that but enjoy the song akjshdjs#it's really good 💞 proud of my favorite guy#(as always 🙈)#did I mention most talented ever?#ok shhh I'm done
2 notes · View notes
abyssalpriest · 1 year ago
Text
if i disappear after saying that ive been assassinated no jokes aside if i take that down its not bc i disagree with it, you can still pin it on me as a belief that i think that shit should be said and ill put my whole ass behind it, but saying shit like that has consequences lmfao. also theres a time and a place to bring that up
#ive already. dealt. with enough fucking propagandising royal family members on my fucking ASS this lifetime to last. the rest of#this universe's incarnation. sometimes its better to not get involved which i KNOW is a big part of why the propaganda is rampant#among people who work with ''demons'' but like. no. no race is more superior than other races. hot take i know sorry#~abyssal murmurs#honestly tho. im so sick of dealing with the topics of ascending and (''demon'') racial supremacy and fighting jxdaism under the guise#of ''we hate chrxstians tho and thats good!'' bc ''(JEWISH NAME FOR GOD????) is a horrible person he wiped out half his angels!!!!''#listen i do not care how uncomfortable you are w your species' and peoples' histories you are. leave innocent fucking people and their#concept of the Creator that you dont even understand alone. whats the point in pride in your people if youre only proud of how#your people are Better than another set of people. like. bruh. are you proud of being a (demon) or are you so insecure your only source of#literally describing said propagandising family members lord almighty im gonna stop myself there.#WOW. I DSFJKHDFH. IVE NEVERRRRR SUDDENLY GOTTEN THE URGE TO TALK SHIT ABOUT WAR /AND/ SPILL THINGS PEOPLE#WANT SECRET /AND/ TALK SHIT ABOUT TWISTING KNOWLEDGE TO MAKE YOURSELF LOOK GOOD /AND/ HAD IT DEVOLVE INTO#''even tho im (practically) hindu jxdaism is too fucking important to my family for me to not have OPINIONS about shit'' BEFORE HMM#WEIRD WEIRD unincarnated selves just fucking going AT it. i mean. spilling opinions. cant say they havent gone at it in other#ways too wow no wonder Ardhanarishvara (God as half man half woman) and Shiva and Shakti are super important to me -#NO WONDER THIS CAME AFTER TALKING ABOUT CONSCIOUSNESS AND MIND WHO I SEE AS SHIVA AND SHAKTI#anyway the first post had nothing to do w jxdaism and this topic itself has nothing to do w it i just finally had it click why Certain Peop#calling the things the kings they worship did atrocities of (name) was bothering me SO much. i mean i knew why the rest of it was bothering#me - i mean the NAME bit clicked
2 notes · View notes
the-official-account · 2 years ago
Text
Trying to love people who don't do poetry is hard, because I don't know how else to communicate the absolute ferocity with which I am willing to endure life for the chance to have had them in it
4 notes · View notes
timelord-of-the-moon · 2 years ago
Text
......
#okay people who have read my posts about this situation-#i need opinion#so that actor im working with that i have a thing for is consuming my thoughts more and more#and anyways we close the show in a week#the plan- i text him right as the last performance ends and say before you leave i need to talk to you about soemthing personal#and then when all the work for the day is over i pull him aside just away from everyone#and i just tell him i have feelings for him and would like to go out sometjme#and then just leave it up to him#i think even if he does reject me or isnt single i still want the experience of asking someone out and i want him to know that i like him#see i found out this is his first play and i realy can't believe it becuase he put in so much work and effort#he came in with all his lines memorized first day of rehearsal#ive never seen that before#anyways my main concern is making him feel uncomfortable#but he has thrown little hints that hes interested in me? like saying we should get drinks sometime & a few little -could be- flirty things#but honestly just telling him i have feelings for him isnt that extreme so idk why im even thinking it would make him uncomfortable#anyways im stage manager so like telling him while were doing the show would be a little bad power dynamic wise#and maybe i should even wait till a day or so after the show but hey once the show is done im not his stage manager anymore#we are just both college students in the same department#man... life is so fucking weird#anyways yeah point is- im wondering if its a good idea to tell him i like him
3 notes · View notes
the-amber-droid-dreams · 7 months ago
Text
[ID: A priest in a confession booth looking shocked]
#id added#both are equally shit probably. only saw my dad once a year ish tho and i see ppl talking abt shit moms less often so :#tw shitty parenting. def neglectful. probably counts as abusive idfk. also self harm.#my mother was extremely emotionally neglectful. she started refusing to hug me when i was like.. 12 ? bc she decided i was a problem child#and bc she was always 'mad' at me but she never specified why. she wouldnt budge on it even when i borderline begged#she is constantly saying ableist sanist shit to me. like calling me a psychopath. insane. autistic (as an insult) n telling me i deserve#to be locked up in prison or the 'crazy hospital'#literally came to laugh in my face when she heard some info abt depression on the radio bc it sounded like me#when i ended up in the er bc of sh she yelled at me for months. told me i traumatized her. wasted her money.#she looked though some personal journal notes abt the experience then tried to blackmail me. threatened to keep me from going to uni#she still doesnt believe im mentally ill. not after ALL THAT.#she doesnt hit me but she throws things at me sometimes. she once threatened to give me a concussion so she could be arrested and taken awa#bc she said that would be a break from me#she said all the years she spent raising me were a waste of her life#she once accused me of trying to break her arm bc i was afraid and pushed the door shut hard ig#she talks shit about me to my relatives on the phone. loudly. she makes sure i can hear on purpose. sometimes shell live commentate to them#when im just walking past her to go the bathroom or smthg. shell make shit up like saying im glaring at her#she has criticized every single inch of my existence. the way i talk. tone. word choice. facial expressions. body language. body.#it got to the point where if she entered the room i would go stock still and stock silent. hurry to cover every offending part of my body.#she hated that too#she made fun of me for crying in our arguments when i was younger so i lost that ability for years. she always called me oversensitive#then a few years later shed call Herself sensitive and tear up after some of the worse fights and then cry to her mom about it for sympathy#she has looked through my trash and gotten mad abt the things she found there. like a single one dollar snack wrapper bc thats wasting mone#we were not by Any means poor. we even owned the house we lived in. but she was stingy to the point of absurdity.#we lived in a house w broken appliances for YEARS bc she refused to find a repairman or to replace the objects (AGAIN WE COULD AFFORD THIS)#aircon. lightbulbs. sinks. water filter. the FUCKING WASHING MACHINE. THE GODDAM TOILETS. etc etc etc#there was no laundromat nearby and i wasnt given any money so i wouldnt have been able to use one anyway. it was allll handwashing.#tbf she did it all. but then she would endlessly complain. when i told her to replace the washing machine she told me to shut up#she also told me i should be grateful i didnt have to pee in a hole in the ground like in Some Countries when i told her to fix the toilet#bc of mental illness (and bc the bathroom door DIDNT FKIN LOCK OR EVEN CLOSE PROPERLY and i was v uncomfortable) i had a really hard time
11K notes · View notes
lavenderspence · 7 months ago
Text
Bump Relief - S.R.
Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!reader
Content warning: fluff, pregnant reader
Word Count: 1.8K
Summary: Making you comfortable while you're pregnant is his number one priority, so he decides to give JJ's little trick a try
Request: maybe Spencer hearing from JJ or reading somewhere that holding the baby bump relieves the mother and decides to try it on his girlfriend/wife? 
A/N: So a few days ago, I asked for short requests because I was dying to write something short. I sat down to write, and it got a little longer than I anticipated(I have no excuse). It's a known fact I can't write anything short, so I don't know why I try. I was going to post this tomorrow, but I really needed the serotonin I get from posting a fic, so enjoy! 
masterlist | requests are closed!
Tumblr media
Spencer was twirling a pen between his fingers, deep in thought. All of his thoughts were about you because of course they were. 
He thought about you while he fell in love, proposed, and watched you walk down the aisle towards him. You occupied every waking moment when he wasn’t focused on his work, friends and mother, or hobbies. You were a constant in his life, and have been for years. 
But he’d been thinking about you a lot more in the last 6 months, and especially the last few days. About you, and the little angel.
At 34 weeks pregnant, you were glowing from the inside, just as beautiful as you’d been in your wedding dress. Or that’s what Spencer saw when he looked at you. 
But along with all the beauty of growing your little one came the few negatives, some of which he couldn’t help but notice too. How you hadn’t been wearing your wedding rings since the start of your third trimester. 
Or the light sheen of sweat on your brow just going up the stairs to your apartment. Or even the discomfort at the small of your back from carrying all the weight around. The small winces he heard coming from you, along with the scrunch in your eyes and nose. 
He wanted to take a part of your discomfort and bear it as his own. He’d watched you grow this little bean inside you for months, fight the morning sickness, and the only thing he’d been able to do was hold your hair and rub your back, watching as you suffered through it. 
Or the changes in your body, your clothes not fitting, or sometimes feeling like an outsider in your own skin. He’d been able to offer reassuring words, and kisses laid across your whole body, any point that sparked an insecurity in you - worshiped. 
He’d wake up in the middle of the night to satisfy your weird food cravings, or even the desire to have him as a snack. 
He’d been to every appointment with you - held your hand, wiped your tears, or kissed the crown of your head. You’d heard the heartbeat together, where he’d spoken in your ear, thankful to you for giving him the greatest gift of all to come in a few short months - being a dad. Something he’d wished for, for years, sometimes even thinking he’d never get to experience it. 
But that’s as far as he could help you and god, he wished he could do more. 
He didn’t hear JJ approaching and wasn’t even paying attention when she called his name out softly. And then again, and again. 
Snapping her fingers in front of his face worked like a charm though. 
“Yes?” He asked, after a light shake of his head to clear his thoughts. 
“Where’d you go Spence?” She leaned against his desk, giving his shoulder a small squeeze in support, “Everything okay?” 
“Yeah, yeah. Everything’s good,” He didn’t look or sound convincing, and watching JJ’s brow arch in question, he sighed, “Well, okay, not everything.” 
“What’s going on? Are Y/N and the baby okay?” She asked a frantic worry in her voice.
“They’re good and healthy,” Spencer confirmed, watching her let a sigh of her own. He decided then and there to seek her advice. She was his friend, and seeing as she’d been a mom twice now, she knew exactly what you were going through. 
“She’s been feeling uncomfortable, carrying the weight of the little bean around,” He smiled, simply mentioning his child softened everything within him, “And I see her trying not to show it that much, but it’s clearly exhausting her even more, and I wish there was something I could do to help, you know?” He sounded so small at that moment, rubbing his wedding band, feeling like he was failing you somehow. 
He knew that wasn’t possible, you told him daily how proud you were of him and everything he did and has done for you, but even now, he couldn’t help but worry sometimes. 
“Well, there’s this one thing that worked wonders for me when I was pregnant with Henry, and Michael too.” She started before she shared her little secret.
Tumblr media
You breathed in deep, moving around yet again, and then exhaled a long breath. 
Your couch was one of the most comfortable things in the apartment - at least it had been before you’d started popping. Now it felt more like the most uncomfortable piece of furniture ever, but you knew that was just your inability to get comfortable - well, anywhere really. 
It was a struggle finding a way to feel good, but not like your baby was sitting on your bladder, or putting more pressure on your back than needed. You had roughly 6 more weeks to go, but you already felt about ready to pop. 
Your bean was grown in size - with a tall daddy like your husband, you weren’t even that surprised. You somehow knew that they’d take even more than his height - you hoped they’d inherit his best characteristics too. His love for learning, his calmness, and most of all his heart. Maybe his hair too - you loved his hair. And his smile. God you simply loved him.
You couldn’t wait for him to get home - the only time you felt like your whole body could relax was whenever he was with you, one hand or both thrown over your bump in a protective manner, talking to you and your baby quietly. 
You tried a few more times to get comfortable, a few different positions - leaning on your left, your right, or even with your back straight, and nothing worked.  
Another deep exhale left you and you simply gave up - lying on your back and praying for no uncomfortable sensations for at least a few minutes. 
Just as you felt your eyes droop - you wanted a few minutes to simply breathe - you felt a little kick to your left. It didn’t hurt, luckily for you, your little one seemed to be a pretty calm, small bundle so it wasn’t often any cry for attention left you rattled.
You did let out a little chuckle, rubbing the spot. As you rubbed at your stomach, small kick after small kick under your hand, you heard a key being inserted into the lock - the door opening and closing, keys rattling on the key hanger next to the door. 
“Sweetheart? Where are my girls?” He asked, as you heard the familiar sounds of him hanging his jacket and satchel, and taking off his shoes. You’d decided the gender would be a surprise, but Spencer insisted that it was a girl - you had a feeling he wanted to be a girl dad. 
You raised a hand, waving in the direction of the door, not wishing to move now, “We’re here, love.”
You didn’t attempt to push yourself up, you just stayed where you were, rubbing your belly and waiting for your husband to make his way over. 
Sure enough, just a few seconds later he was kneeling next to the couch close to your head, moving pieces of hair away from your face.
“Hi.” He whispered before he leaned down and laid a series of small kisses all over your face - one on each cheek, one on your forehead and nose, finishing with a gentle press of his lips against yours. It still made a small shiver run through you, just like it always did.
“Hi.” You returned when he pulled away, watching him as he leaned towards your belly then, kissing just next to where your hands were still sitting. A kick followed his kiss like your baby knew it was his daddy having returned from work. 
“Hi, little love.” It was his little nickname for them, and you loved it. You ran a hand through his hair then, soft and thick to the touch. 
With his hand sitting next to yours, wedding band gleaming in the light, he pulled you into another small kiss. His face was inches away from yours. 
“Can you stand up for a second, love?” He was whispering, content in keeping you three in a small bubble of touch and soft words. 
“Why?” It sounded like a whine, but in your defense, everything felt more comfortable than before now that he was there. 
His eyes softened then, understanding written all over his face, and a small smile on his slightly chapped lips too. 
“Just want to try something JJ suggested. Please? It’s going to feel good, I promise.” He kissed your brown in reassurance, and promise. 
You sighed again, allowing him to pull you up. 
“If I hate this, you have to go get me those super sour lemon candies from the candy store on the other side of town, okay?” You bargained with him. You’ve been craving those since last night, but he’d been going out on a limp for your every whim and you wanted to cool it for a day or two and allow him some time to breathe. 
He smiled softly, hand on your lower back, moving up and down. 
“Okay, sour lemon candy it is.”
“What are we doing again?” 
“Okay, I’m going to settle behind you, and I want you to lean your upper body against me, lay your head on my shoulder,” He instructed, moving behind you, hands on your hips just like he’d told you to do. His scent filled your nostrils, and you moved your head to the side to nuzzle his neck. He kissed your head, “Okay, now relax, and let me do all the work, yeah?” Again, soft, in a whisper. 
“What work -” You started before you felt his hands settle underneath your bump, holding onto it, and allowing the weight to fall on his hands instead of falling on you. You felt light like you were no longer carrying your little bean, but instead, it was safely nestled into his father’s arms. A half sigh-half moan left you, so relieved,  thankful in that moment, to JJ and to your husband. 
“Good?” He asked. Tears gathered in your eyes, so overwhelmed by the reprieve. You nodded, just a tiny bit choked up at that moment. 
“So, so good. Thank you.” You said, one hand moving to cup gently around his, face once again burying into his neck. You couldn’t believe the universe had granted you this man to be by your side for years to come. This dedicated, adorable, kindhearted man, and all his care. 
He rubbed his thumb against your bump, feeling your little girl kick against him, and he kissed your hair, holding you both, doing his very best to help in any way he could. Just like he always would. 
Tumblr media
Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated!
5K notes · View notes
deadsetobsessions · 9 months ago
Text
Sea Cryptic! Danny AU- Pt. 7
[Pt.1] [Pt.2] [Pt.3] [Pt.4] [Pt.5] [Pt.6] [Pt.8] [Pt.9] [Pt.10]
“I’m having a child.”
Danny stared at Batman.
“…Uh, congrats?”
Batman whips out a stack of paper and a pen. “It’s you. Sign here and initial the highlighted spots.”
Danny instinctively, from years of dealing with Vlad, whacked the stack right out of Batman’s hands and into the bay. He doesn’t even feel bad about littering this time because, “Begone, fruitloop!”
Wait, no, that’s not what he meant.
“I mean- I have parents!”
“Not for long.” Batman muttered and then did a double take. “You have parents? How?”
Danny gasped, placing a hand on his chest to clutch his metaphorical pearls. He ignored Batman’s mutters. Everyone knows the vigilante has an adoption problem. At least, everyone who lived in Gotham did, as everyone who didn’t was somehow convinced that he “worked alone” or some bullshit like that. “Are you naturally this insensitive or were you dropped on your head as a baby? Obviously I had to come from somewhere.”
“They’re still… alive?”
“And kicking,” Danny said, inching away from yet another rich weird guy trying to adopt him. “Mostly the kicking part, though.” He said, remembering the sparring sessions. His mom could kick his as six ways to Sunday with nothing but jiu-jitsu and still have time to work in the lab.
“I see.”
“I’m charging you extra for the emotional upheaval. I have trauma regarding rich people trying to adopt me.”
Batman sullenly handed over a thousand.
“Sweet. There’s a group of shades down here asking if you could find their murderer. Apparently the serial killer is still at large.” Danny pointed.
“Of course. Tell me everything.”
The adoption papers disappeared as Batman went into detective mode.
Danny shoved the cash into his glowing chest and breathed a sigh of relief. He needed to make rent this month so it was a windfall running into Batman.
——
“Hey, Tim?”
Tim woke up from his Power Nap. “Huh?”
“Phantom’s complaining that Batman kept trying to adopt him.”
Tim blinked. “Uh.. what does that have to do with me?”
Danny stared at him, a patiently amused smile on his face. “Just in case the rumor about the Wayne’s sugar-daddy-into the Bats was a thing. Other than that, we might have to confront Batman to get him off of Phantom’s back. ”
“You… want to confront Batman.”
“Hey, man, Phantom’s a friend and it’s ride or die.” Danny snickered. It was literally die, with his Phantom side of things. He held two fists up, and wound them, like Popeye right after eating spinach or something. “And if Batman bothers Phantom, we ride at dawn.”
“Batman doesn’t come out unless it’s dark, though? Or for the Justice League.” Tim grinned. He mentally classified Danny under his “to go to” list. That’s where Bart, Bernard, Cassie, Kon, and Garfield were. If he starts shit, he could count on them to have his back and cause even more shit. Danny, wanting to fistfight Bruce over the man making Phantom uncomfortable? He absolutely is making that list.
“Then we ride at, like, dusk. Or uh, like 10PM. I gotta get my beauty sleep.”
“You’ll definitely need it,” Tim inconspicuously texted the group chat, which quickly blew up.
“Shut up,” Danny playfully shoved Tim. “Wait, can Batman even legally adopt? Isn’t being a vigilante illegal? And how can he adopt someone dead?”
Tim dramatically flailed and splayed over Danny’s carpeted living room. “Dunno about his identity,” he lied to Danny, like a liar. “But Gotham has a bunch of laws for the undead/restored to life people so there’s probably enough gray space there.”
Danny spluttered. “You guys have undead friendly laws?”
“Yeah, geht do you think Grundy just chills out? Plus, we have like a minor resurrection event every few years. It usually doesn’t stick but sometimes it does. Bruce pushed for those laws when Jason came back to life, except he doesn’t actually want people to know he’s like, alive.”
“Jason died?” Danny blinked. Well, that would explain the vibes. “Huh. So what’s up with his rank vibes then?”
“Rank vibes?” Tim pressed record on his phone.
Danny nodded. “Yeah, you know how Phantom’s got like a really chill green vibe?” Inwardly, Danny snickered at his pun. Chill. Yeah, he meant that very literally. “Jason’s got kind of a rank green vibe. He’s kind of stinky? Definitely never introduce him to Phantom.” Danny’s senses got worse in his ghost form.
“Jason regularly showers, though?!”
“Not smell! Like, a spiritual smell?”
“You can smell souls?!” Tim sat up. “Bro, you’re a meta?!”
“Uh.” Danny hesitated. “Yeah. I can smell souls. It’s a thing. Everyone from my town can do it.”
“What?!” Tim paused. “Wait, can Phantom smell souls?”
“Yeah. We’re, uh, from the same town.”
“Danny, what the fuck?”
“Hey, don’t look at me like that, you’re the one with a soul-sick brother! Not to mention, you’re kinda stinky too!”
“Hey!”
“Soul-stinky nerd man!”
——
“I stink?!” Jason spluttered out, extremely offended.
“The Lazarus pits. He’s most likely smelling traces of Lazarus pit on you, you imbecile.”
“We need to speak to Phantom. This instant.”
“I dunno, B. Danny sounded like he was gonna break your face if you bothered Phantom anymore.” Dick snickered.
“Yeah,” Tim chimed in, from his seat in front of the Bat-computer. “He was pretty serious.”
“Are we just gonna glaze over the fact that they’re from the same town?!” Stephanie exclaimed, practicing her moves on a training dummy.
“How does that even work? What does that mean? I thought Phantom was an immortal?” Duke asked.
“We also can’t rule out time-travel.” Barbara slammed her baton into a training dummy, twisting her wheelchair in an agile maneuver that left the dummy on the floor.
“No bothering Phantom.” Cass proclaimed.
“That’s quite right. You all have a warm dinner sitting above your cave and should it remain uneaten, I assure you that sherbet Sunday and crêpe Tuesday shall be canceled.” Alfred stepped in. The Bats, threatened, scrambled to ditch their gear and go upstairs.
4K notes · View notes
jambalaya-enthusiast · 2 months ago
Note
Tulpar crew most to least rough?
MOST TO LEAST ROUGH IN BED— TULPAR CREW.
warnings: suggestive
JIMMY
Jimmy is by no means,vanilla. He just doesn't get the point of fucking if it's not rough and hard or even painful. He bites like a rabid dog, so much so to the point of drawing blood. Jimmy doesn't necessarily care about making you feel good, as long as he's getting his own satisfaction, he is happy. Jimmy is a bed breaker. He isn't all that much into foreplay, but if he's in the mood, he'll do it. The nastiest dirty talker, will say shit so vile it might scare you. he doesn't care for safe words, he'll just have his way with you,how he wants, when he wants.
DAISUKE
Daisuke is a young, handsome lad whose libido is higher than the fucking sky, he isn't all that experienced which is exactly why he doesn't shy away from trying new things in bed. although he doesn't want to hurt you/ make you uncomfortable in the slightest, he unknowingly becomes hella rough when he's nearing his peak. Is also hella into marking you up, his high libido leaves you overstimulated. you're definitely having back aches.
SWANSEA
Swansea is a tired man, he likes taking his sweet time and doing it slowly, intimately. But that doesn't mean he hasn't got it. If he ever feels that he isn't pleasuring you the way you deserve to be, get ready for a wild night because this guy will show you a side of him completely unknown to you. He is experienced he knows how to make you feel good, he knows where to touch you to get the right sounds out. and if it ever came to that, he will break the bed.
ANYA
Anya loves to be taken care of,she loves it when you slowly, and passionately make love to her, slowly and passionately. she loves you being gentle, showing her that you love her in all the ways that make her feel good. But in all honesty, she also loves it when you make her back arch, and lips mewl by being rough. she loves scratching your back with her nails during missionary, she loves biting you, and being marked up by you.
CURLY
I know that I've put curly in the least curly tier, but that isn't exactly who he is. Curly is absolutely terrified of hurting you in any way or form, he only wants to make you feel good, he doesn't care for his own pleasure sometimes. He wants to make sure that you feel great, satisfied and happy. That's all that matters to him, but sometimes, just sometimes he lets his inner feelings lose, and rams into you like an animal in heat, curly is big, that isn't even up for debate. When he is into it he's into it. You'll be unable to wall for the next several days. But curly would feel so fucking guilty that he'll take care of your every need during those days, he promises to himself that he'll never do that to you ever again, because he simply just wants to pamper and protect you. but he sometimes slips and lets his lust control him, it happens very very rarely though,but whenever it does happen, you're not sure if you're complaining.
2K notes · View notes
cressidagrey · 2 months ago
Text
Holy Ground - Chapter 2
Summary:
Nobody knew that Azriel found his mate. Until she nearly died. This is the aftermath.
Warning:
Rhys Bashing (as usual), Inner Circle Bashing (kinda), Referenced/Implied Sexual Assault, Referenced/Implied Domestic Violence, Discussion of Religion(?), Chronic Injury/Pain/Illness, Minor Character Death (It's probably nobody you love), Magical Work Accidents, Explosions, Injuries
If any of this triggers you or makes you uncomfortable, please take care of your own mental health and don't read it.
Tumblr media
Azriel’s shadows liked to spoil his mate rotten.
Not that Azriel could find anything wrong with that.
She deserved more for putting up with him. 
More than new tea from the Dawn Court and her favourite chocolate covered, wafer thin cookies from a small bakery near the Sidra…more than the occasional embroidery thread they snuck her…More than whatever animal he went to go hunt, to cover his bed in even more furs just for her. 
He nearly had enough Sable furs to have a blanket made for her for Winter Solstice…
Azriel also had half a mind to go sneak in her office later that day. 
Just as a treat for not killing either of his brothers. For being civil. 
Rhys had come over for sparring, unnannounced. 
Azriel had hoped to have some peace and quiet today, but it seemed like Rhys had other plans. 
Currently Cassian and Rhys were wrestling with less sense than they had had when they were just kids, and Azriel was cleaning his weapons, watching from the sidelines.
Azriel couldn't help but roll his eyes at the sight of his brothers roughhousing. It was typical of them to turn a simple sparring session into some kind of ridiculous competition. He focused on sharpening his knives, trying to ignore their antics.
"You know, we could also actually train properly," he called out, his tone dry. "Instead of wrestling like a bunch of children."
Cassian looked up from his grappling with Rhys, grinning. "Oh, come on Az. Don't be such a stick in the mud. Loosen up, have a little fun for once."
Azriel's expression remained impassive. "I'm perfectly capable of having fun, Cassian. But I prefer to do so without rolling around in the dirt like a wild animal."
Rhysand chuckled, standing up and clapping Cassian on the back. "It's good to let loose every now and then, Az. You should try it sometime. It might make your brooding sessions a little less depressing."
Azriel just grunted in response, not willing to engage in a verbal sparring match with Rhys. He continued to clean his weapons, hoping that the training session would end soon so he could escape his brothers' teasing.
“When did you even come home yesterday?” Cassian asked him.
Azriel looked up from his work, his expression neutral. "Around 11," he said simply.
“You didn’t come to dinner,” Rhys pointed out. “You were missed.”
He highly doubted that.
And maybe he had made that mission in Dawn just a little while longer, so that he knew that dinner would be over and when he came home, he wouldn’t need to be alone.
Azriel just shrugged. "I was busy," he said, offering no further explanation. He knew his brothers were just trying to rile him up, and he wasn't about to give them the satisfaction of a reaction.
*Are you still pissed of at me?* Rhys asked him mentally with a sigh. *I get it. But you don’t need to avoid everybody else, just because…*
*I’m not avoiding anyone,* Azriel replied, his mental voice tight. *I’m simply choosing to spend my time how I see fit.*
“I was busy,” he repeated aloud.
Cassian rolled his eyes. "You're always busy, Az. You know, there's such thing as taking a break once in a while. Spending time with your family."
Or he could spent time with his mate. He could spent time with his mate, who let him brush her hair and even braid it …who pressed kisses to his horrible scarred hands and smiled at him. 
If it was a choice between Irena or a family dinner where he didn’t want to stay longer than an hour or two, because he was still too fucking pissed off at Rhys…the choice was easy. 
“Or is there a special somebody?” Cassian teased him.
Azriel glowered at him. "It’s none of your business." He went back to working on his weapons, his expression tense.
*You can’t keep panting after Elain for the rest of your life,* Rhys said mentally. *Look, I know I didn’t…I am sorry. But she’s happy with Lucien and…*
*Don’t worry, I’ll go to a pleasure hall and pay for it if I want to fuck somebody,* Azriel shot back viciously.
Or his own hand would suffice. More than suffice, especially if…especially if Irena had let him kiss her the evening before…sometimes he waited until she disappeared into her room, and he buried his face in the pillows that smelled like her, fisted his cock and rutted like an untried boy for seconds before he came all over himself. 
It was still better than any other sex he ever had had before.
Cassian raised an eyebrow at him. "It sounds like you need to get laid," he said, chuckling. "Maybe that'll help with your bad mood."
Azriel shot him a glare. "Mind your own business, Cassian. My love life is none of your concern."
Rhysand gave him a sympathetic look. *We just want you to be happy, Az. You deserve happiness.*
“Ohhh, touchy,” Cassian said with a snort.
Azriel just gritted his teeth, his temper rising. "Cassian, if you don’t shut your mouth right now, I swear to the Mother, I’ll shut it for you."
Cassian just grinned at him. "Come on, Az. I’m just teasing you. Lighten up."
Azriel's grip on his weapons tightened. "I don't like your teasing, Cassian. And I certainly don't appreciate you making assumptions about my personal life.”
Mostly he just wanted his brothers to leave him the hell alone.
And then...then before he could say another thing...he felt the shaking.
And then the sound came. An eardrum shattering explosion, the very foundation of the House of Wind shaking. It was terrifying him.
Irena was down there in her office. Nesta was in there. 
He was moving before he was even thinking. 
*Merrill's office, Master!* the shadows screeched.
Azriel was already running.
Cassian hot on his heels, so was Rhys.
Azriel was faster, heaving shadows around his limbs as he rocketed down the spiral stairs of the House of Wind.
Level Two, Straight to the right. Clearly...Clearly the epicenter of the blast. Of the explosion…of whatever had happened.
He pushed as hard as he could, legs burning as he hurtled down the hallway to Merrill's office.
He wasn't the only one. "Merrill!" He could hear Gwyn's shrill voice screaming, coming to a stop in a hallway of what had once been Merrill's office but now was just...
It was a mass of wood and rubble.
He barely slowed down, scrambling into action. Gwyn was already digging through it, so where Nesta and Emerie. Cassian landed behind him, immediately moving some of the debris.
His shadows swarmed as he and the others quickly dug at the rubble. Looking, desperately looking.
He moved another piece of rubble out of the way...a piece of blue cloths. The same blue cloth that he knew covered Irena's body, the scent of poppies clinging to her...Without a thought, he grasped and then dragged, a hoarse shout that was her, that was her...
He felt as if he were choking, as if he were drowning as he dragged out her body. Bloody, bruised, broken but still...still there was a faint flicker, a faint, thready heartbeat.
His heartbeat pounding in his ears, he tried to pick up on her heart. There was barely a flicker. Too fast, too faint, she was barely holding on. Barely hanging by a thread.
There was blood pooling on her abdomen, dying the blue dress she wore bright scarlet red, He put pressure on that wound immediately, leaning on her with nearly all his weight, his fingers slick with blood. "Damn it, stay with me, love," he demanded sharply.
Azriel felt like he could barely breath. Like he was falling, tumbling down as he tried to will her to stay with him. Stay. Stay. Stay. Please stay. Stay...
Rhys was there suddenly, checking her pulse. "Breathing is erratic. She's in shock," he told Azriel with a grimace. "Mor is getting Madja..."
"Az..." her voice was so weak, but he turned to see dark brown eyes watching him, brows furrowing.
"Just keep breathing, Love," he told her, trying to stop his voice from shaking.
He could barely hear what was going on around him. It was as if he were in a bubble, a world of just himself and her and the desperate beat of her heart under his fingers.
"I am sorry," she whispered.
"There is nothing you need to apologise for her, Irena," he promised her sharply. "Absolutely nothing."
Irena's eyes drifted shut. Azriel felt like something was dying inside him as her heartbeat fluttered against his fingertips. His world was collapsing, shattering into pieces as her breath stuttered.
"Stay. Just stay..." he was barely aware of what he was saying, his eyes frantically searching hers. She had to stay. He would do anything to keep her here. Anything.
"I am still owing you that flight," he told her. She hadn't let him take her flying yet. They had snuck away in the library...in the rooftop garden...in her office. But he had never gotten to take her flying. He had never gotten to take her out into Velaris. They had never had a date at a fancy restaurant, had never gone to see the symphony. There were thousands of things that he hadn't yet gotten to do with his mate, because they had all the time in the world.
Irena just stared at him, her eyes pleading, as her heartbeat slowed, fluttering weaker and weaker. Azriel felt a sharp pain in his chest as fear clawed at his spine. "Just hold on a little longer, love," he whispered. "Please."
And then there Madja. Thank the cauldron. There she was.
Azriel could barely manage to let go of her, his mind consumed with the singular thought of Irena's laboured, erratic heartbeat as he moved back. Madja immediately set to work.
He lunged for her head, lunged to pull it on his lap, to touch her with blood slick fingertips, her normally rosy red lips pale, her skin even whiter than usual.
"Hurts," she whispered, as Madja set to work, barking orders.
"I know, I know, love," he whispered, touching her cheek with his fingertips as Madja got to work.
His eyes searched hers as he murmured those words over and over, as if he could somehow hold her in this world through sheer force of will alone.
"We haven't had enough time," he whispered desperately, leaning his forehead against hers.
She was slipping away. He could feel it. Feel her slipping, feel her heartbeat slow. Feel the thread that tethered her to this world fray, fray, fray...
No. He couldn't lose her. Would not let her leave him. He had waited far too long for her. Far, far too long to let her slip through his fingers.
"Stay with me," he pleaded. "Please stay with me."
But her eyes were slipping shut, her head lolling to the side. He gently patted her cheek, trying to urge her back to consciousness, but he didn't think he was even really aware of what he was doing, where he was. The world had boiled down to a desperate litany, in his head. Stay...stay...please...don't you dare...
“I am going to be so furious with you if you die. We may have our first fight,” he told her fiercely.
He needed her to know that he would be there to be furious with her if she dared to die, that she couldn't die. Couldn't. That she had to stay. Had to keep fighting. There were too many things ahead of them...a wedding to plan, children to have, years and years of life to live.
“Az,” she breathed his name, her eyes not even open anymore.
“Open your eyes, Irena,” he demanded. “Look at me, love,”
Her eyes finally fluttered open at his command. It was barely more than a slither of brown, but he latched onto it, taking it for what it was. A chance. A moment to get through to her.
He wasn't sure what he was saying, but the words spilled forth from him, a litany, a desperate prayer. "Please," he breathed, "don't go...don't you dare..."
He was dimly aware that the others had gathered, but he didn't dare look away. Didn't dare look away from her as he cradled her head, trying to pour all of his prayers into those words. All of his hope and desperation.
"You can't go." A statement. An order. An absolute certainty in his voice. "I will not let you go."
He wouldn't. Would never, ever let her go. Would drag her back from the Cauldron's grasp with bloodied and broken hands if thats what had to be.
She didn't speak. Didn't need to. He could read her answer in her eyes, the determination in those brown eyes as she tried so, so hard to stay.
It was as if she were holding on for him, because he had asked her to. Because it was him there with her. Like she would fight until her last breath because he told her too. He didn't deserve this beautiful creature, who was willing to fight for him, willing to live for him.
It was something primal, something desperate, something fierce as he whispered those words over and over, like a prayer. "Fight. Fight. Fight."
And she listened. She did. He could feel her hold on, just barely grasp hold of that tether that kept her in this world. Just barely keep her eyes open.
Just look at him.
And she did, those dark eyes unfocused but open, staring up at him, watching him. Trying so, so hard. It nearly made his heart stop in the most terrible way that she was struggling for him.
And he was so proud of her. Of the way she was fighting like she was. Of the way she was grasping, hanging on to life like she was.
The seconds stretched too thin, feeling like eternities and only the slightest of moments. But her eyes were open, if only barely. She hadn't given up. Hadn't let go.
He was dimly aware of the others, Gwyn hovering with a worried expression, Madja murmuring quiet instructions to the others, Rhys kneeling not far away. But he barely glanced at them, barely dared to take his eyes off Irena.
He was certain that if he looked away, if he let this tenuous thread sever, that she would die. That as long as he kept her here, she wouldn't slip, wouldn't let go.
He had one hand on her cheek, her skin still clammy and pale, as her eyes slipped open and shut. But everytime, they would find his face. His eyes, like he was the only thing tethering her to the world. It hurt. Hurt so much to see her barely holding on, only that last sliver of determination keeping her here.
"Please," he pleaded, whispering those words like a prayer, like he would be praying to a vengeful god. Those moments felt like eternities, stretching on and on with only his desperate whispers. "Please..."
The world felt so still, so silent as if the world was holding its breath. Azriel's eyes locked on Irena, silently begging her, asking her to please, please...
Live, live live... he whispered those words over and over, a desperate plea to the Mother, the Cauldron, to anyone who would listen. To Irena, the only person in the entire world who truly mattered in that moment.
Her eyes were growing glassy, slipping closed only to jerk open again. Stay he demanded. Keep looking at me. Please.
She tried. Mother, she tried. Her eyes drifted to him, the smallest hint of life, of a spark there in those dark brown eyes.
He hardly dared to breathe, hardly dared to move. Afraid that any wrong move could tip her over the edge, could pull her into that chasm of non-existence that she was desperately clinging too.
He felt something pricking at his eyes, felt something in his chest cracking, breaking at the sheer intensity of emotions thrumming through him. It hurt. Hurt so much to see her like this, so pale, barely holding on, barely conscious...
“Alright,” Madja said quietly. “Good girl. You were so very brave.”
"Will...will she be alright?" He asked, voice hoarse.
He didn't let his eyes drift from Irena's face, her half lidded eyes staring at him. It filled him with such an intense pang of relief and fear at the same time. Relief, because she was alive...and fear, because they had been so close to losing her.
"She's not out of the woods yet," Madja warned. "But she'll make it. She lost a lot of blood. It will take some time to get her vitals stable again."
He felt like he could breathe for the first time. It was almost dizzying, the sheer, intense relief that flooded through him. Irena was here. Irena would live. It filled his veins with an almost drug like euphoria, that made him light headed, a smile twitching at the corners of his lips.
He barely managed to keep that feeling in, the pure euphoria from showing as he smoothed a strand of hair back from her face. "Thank you," he whispered, voice hoarse, eyes finally dragging away from Irena's face to look at Madja. "Just...thank you."
He looked back at Irena, taking in her face. Alive. Still alive. Still here with him, not gone. The tension seeped from his shoulders, a strange sort of exhaustion taking over. As if all the adrenaline that had fueled him, the fear, was slowly draining out of him like water.
“Merrill,” Irena whispered, her voice near silent.
Azriel felt his fingers brush her cheek, just the gentlest touch as he tried to keep it together. It had been too close. Too, too close. He couldn't stop the overwhelming feelings flowing through him of elation and fear as he looked down at her as he looked down at her, alive. Alive and breathing and whispering soft words. "Shhh," he whispered softly. "Save your strength. Don't strain yourself."
He looked up finding Cassians gaze who just shook his head. Merrill was dead.
Azriel couldn't quite process that information, not in that moment. His eyes were still drawn to Irena, still unable to take his eyes off of her for more than a moment. His fingers brushed her cheek again, just the faintest touch as he pressed a small kiss to her forehead. "Rest," he instructed softly. "I'll be right there.” He promised.
“Being here to her room,” Madja said quietly.
“My room,” he corrected.
The priestesses dormitory was locked from males. If he even tried to get in there it would’ve end well for him. And he wouldn’t leave her side.
“Your room?” Gwyn asked sharply.
“Gwyn,” Rhys said quietly.Azriel didn't even acknowledge Gwyn's words, didn't have the energy. All he could focus on was the way Irena's eyes had drifted shut, the steady rise and fall of her chest. She would be alright. She was going to be alright. She was alive. Right now, in that moment, thats all that mattered.
“Az, how long have the two of you…” Cassian asked hesitantly.
Azriel just shrugged, his hand resting on Irena's hair, smoothing back from her face. “Two years. She’s my mate,” he said flatly as he gathered her up. 
“Mate,” she rasped. “Mine.”
“Yours,” he agreed softly.
708 notes · View notes