#it almost makes up for it
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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I'll rip in hands and teeth and take a bite
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#yuji itadori#ryomen sukuna#yuuji#sukuna#sukuita#fanart#jjk fanart#gore tw/#body horror tw/#blood tw/#YUUJIIII BABY BOYYYY BABYYYYYY#hes hungry :/#sukuna seems 2 be having fun gdjhfgsdf . boys when theyre bored.#so happy i wrangled this pose in2 something im happy with i almost abandoned the idea entirely#sometimes front facing is the answer.....who knew :'>#also#can anyone tell me. how far up yuujis fun arms go i had no idea so i just stopped them at the elbow#if im wrong that will b not swaggy :(#listening 2 sena's cover of butchers vanity on repeat btw VIBES#cannibalism motifs my beloved uwu#in other news this is the least amount of shading ive done in a very long time#and its been even longer since i pulled out th white lineart#but overall i like this piece so much yuuji is so cute and it doesnt make sense 2 me at all#edit changed the colour to make it more obvious whats sukunas legs vs whats yuujis back
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Suddenly, bell bottoms aren't so bad
Bonus sketch, because I had to vv
"Stop checking out my assistant, Stanley."
#Okay#I was never gonna draw fiddlestan#but then i was struck with inspiration in the form of bell bottom jeans#and was like.... get that twink into some bell bottoms RIGHT now#cole's art#art#gravity falls#grunkle stan#stanley pines#fiddleford mcgucket#fiddlestan#Steve Pinington? More like STAN Pining a ton#or something idk#what's this au called again?#uh idk#mystery trio#right?#the au where Stan shows up after Ford calls Fiddleford but before they test the portal y'know#where they live happily ever after and nothing ever goes wrong and stan and ford make up and stan and fiddleford make out#yeah#also the height difference lowkey goes crazy#it was unintentional but i actually like it a lot and now it's my headcanon#i love rambling in my tags knowing no one's reading ts 🙏#almost forgot to tag ford lol#stanford pines
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I saw somebody say that watching the Percy Jackson show made them realize that in the first books Percy doesn't even say half the stuff he thinks and he's just a quiet kid silently judging everyone, like they're so right.
Think about it from Grover's perspective. You know Percy as a quiet boy who certainly has his judgy thoughts but (aside from telling them to you) keeps them to himself. He's just trying to make it through school, for his mom.
Then his mom dies. And he loses the ability to give absolutely any fucks. He starts saying all this shit he never said out loud and to people who could do infinitely worse things to him than anything Nancy Bobifit ever even tried. And it only gets worse as he gets older.
Like bro went from quiet kid in the back of the class to fist fighting a god in the span of like a week. Then he openly told the gods to pay their child support. Grover was having heart attacks every other minute.
#Percy really said#I was quiet once#now not even the gods can make me shut up#Percy “I am impertinent” Jackson#percy jackson#pjo#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson and the olympians#percyjackson#percy and grover#grover underwood#pjo tv series#pjo tv show#percy jackson tv show#percy jackson spoilers#i guess#I mean the books have been out for almost like 20 years
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birds of a feather
#totk#loz#link#tulin#totk spoilers#my comics#my art#it is almost 8 in the goddamn morning and my hand is cramping SO bad but if i didnt make this i was going to die#anyways link's signs: page 2 panel 1 he's signing “danger” and page 2 panel 4 he's signing “important/significant”#also idr where i got the “hair braiding is significant to the rito” probably from the reva/ink i used to read back in the day#(censored so it doesnt show up in the tags just in case lol)#theyre everything to me. if you couldn't tell#they have a brother dynamic 2 me but its open to interpretation#idk wtf happened tonight. two long comics from me back to back is absurd#broke this one up also so its more viewable too#sparks art
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joongdok so far to me. specifically chp 370
#orv#kim dokja#yoo joonghyuk#joongdok#ever makes art#the wind down after the huge divorce blow out fight is so funny to me#yjh still attempting to smash his way into a genuine emotional connection as equals with the guy that made him eat literal dirt. thats amor#lol this is also partly bc i saw the official subway standee from the pop up store#and (almost) everyone sitting politely except for yjh manspreading ferociously is ALSO really funny
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I have unwittingly witnessed a new level of the absurd. Behold, the AI-generated equine anatomy models.
Ah yes, my favourite parts of the equine body. Paster and... *looks at the smudged writing on hand* boob. At least this one looks purely decorative and the being actually looks like a horse. But don't worry, it gets worse.
If we completely ignore the hipopotamus musculature of this one, there's still a lot of things that don't make sense in this one, like a tail that ends in a series of bone spikes and a complete lack of molars. You could make a cool pokemon on the basis of this, but it's not even in the realm of being an actual anatomy help.
I'm firmly convinced this is not a horse, this is something that really, really wants you to think it is a horse. The more you look, the more things look... wrong. The more details turn out to be shifted, bones crammed in to fill in the familiar form, its shape merely implied so that the human mind fills the gap. Of course the text seems like gibberish, because its anatomy is incomprehensible. it's either a parasite or a monster and in each case, it's an eldtrich body horror. I'm kind of angry at how well this joke writes itself.
#I'm just angry that despite of the fact I have almost every AI site blocked it still showed up in the search#I don't think these will fool anyone but still - make sure you know the things you reference are actually accurate#I can recommend Herman Dittrich's drawings when it comes to the equine anatomy#This time I was just searching for the anatomy it bc I forgot what's the name of the canon bone#anti generative ai
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The day after the tribunal
#my drawing#disco elysium#i don't really like this drawing but it's been almost done in my wips for several months now so i might well touch it up n post#if there's some mistakes i apologise but i can't see shit anymore i stared at this drawing for way too long lol#the shadows make everything so wonky like one thing bigger n other thing smaller
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Honestly one of the cruelest things Erik did to Charles was pause after saying Angel. You can see the anger fade immediately, he thinks for a moment that Erik is meeting him with love and gentleness. It anchors him, he stops to really look at him. Eyes to lips. For a moment he thought Erik called him Angel.
And he’s throughly confused why Erik is listing names after. I’m going to be sick.
#almost THREW UP MAKING THIS wipe that face off him with a kiss#x men days of future past#xmen#cherik#mutant husbands#xmenedit#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr
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The Pantheon of Discord
#i stayed up way way too late to make this#i'm so sorry i didn't find a better gif for the mara but i'm tired and it's making me laugh far too much#it's dancing to my music#doctor who#dw spoilers#new who#classic who#doctor who spoilers#the toymaker#the trickster#the maestro#the mara#the gods of ragnarok#sutekh#the legend of ruby sunday#i'm so tired that i almost typed “the legend of ruby tuesday”#my posts#my gifs#gifs#okay good night
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star abducted :3
#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#loop#siffrin#myart#fanart#pls clck on the frst picture tumblr destroyed my line quality ;v;#tfw you almost meet your parents and you are nowhere near emotionally prepared for that-- let alone being emotionally prepared-#- to meet your younger self who immediately adopts you as their best star friend#:3#helpful imaginary friend loop#littol siffrin pulls up an extra chair at the dinner table and everyone goes along with it#but Loop is actually sitting there#and watching their family eat and banter in ways that are both so painfully familiar yet alien#everyone is asking littol Siffrin about their star friend (yknow like indulging what they think is a kid making up an imaginary friend)#and littol Siffrin is 'they're just being shy right now!'#'but i'll ask them later!'#i don t think i'll be drawing more of this to make an official au out of it bc i just wanted an excuse to draw littol siffrin#but i would not mind if people built on top of it :3c
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#katamari#we love katamari#im going around getting gifs of katamari again#it makes me so happy#look how cute prince is#its such a CUTE SCENE OOUGHHH#ive almost got 100% my collections too#so ill make gifs of those#gif#i wish u could just explore the levels sometimes#i love how everything is set up
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ṇ̵̛̱͌̅̃͛̔o̴̮̓̀͂́̃_̴̛̲́s̷͈̋̈́̄̋͠ị̶͔̗̐͐̐̒̕g̵̛̱̘̣̑͂ņ̴̰͔̘͇̏̒̓̇͠͝a̸̜̥̩̭͋̌ḷ̶͔̖͗͋͛͛̃͆
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#gojo satoru#satoru gojo#geto suguru#satosugu#jjk gojo#eye strain/#eye horror/#like i said ik this concept has been done before and probably better than this but i hope that i did it Okay#i hope all the eye strain was not in vain gjhfgsh the amount of blue light in this image is not recommended by doctors#smh gojo ipad baby confirmed#too much screentime.png#in other news im happy i came up with smth else 2 put alongside the piece itself !!#was playing around with filters and effects and i was like ooh what does the binarization button do#makes it look like found footage is what it does i love it SO much#i almost like it better than the coloured version but i would rather die than let a day and a half of rendering go to waste#esp after i already scrapped the intended p2#still i would have posted the full b/w one side by side but it made the post look so busy and distracting and awful#so it's just geto's face ig smile :)#happy i stuck it out w this!!!#fr all i dunk on gojo gdi his aesthetic n design works so well with glitches and messed up technology#tb to tht other gojo + teal + glitches piece i did frever ago captioned smth like 'watch what you eat'#the glitch brushes in my inventory exist fr him and him alone
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alternate apocalypse ending or something who the hcrist knows anymore
#mcu#xmen movies#xmen#xmen apocalypse#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr#professor x#magneto#snap sketches#almost posted this to the wrong blog omg i wouldve thrown up#this dumb as hell forgive me chat#unrelated i thought today was sunday but no it's. 4AM saturday THAT MEANS ITS CHERIK POSTING TIME#i thought of binning this like five times but ive convinced myself i like enough of this to keep it#at the very least im making myself chortle at the mini charles in the corner. like yeah that about summarizes it donnit#anyway the reason why we're here. highkey just wanted charles to grab his waist SORRY#and this was the first thing i thought of so. Apocalypse But Erik Directs The Ending jvlkeajl#my god i was gonna say something else but. i forgot#oh wait no i remember hold on. uhhh something something charles shouldve fought harder or whatever erik said in dofp#dofp IS before apocalypse i know this but it applicable. probably. im not gonna think bout it on whats essentially a shitpost#ok im sleeping now bye. ive got more doodles i wanna do but my god im sleepy. or at least i should sleep
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my tears of the kingdom experience so far
#catfishchat#totk#things really opened up for me when I realized that any time I was frustrated I could go somewhere else#edit: I do really wish I'd kept the essence of If It Sucks Hit Da Bricks#esp since my point wasn't about warping but the fact that you can leave almost any situation#you can warp you can jump you ascend you can hit da bricks#but I said warp and the pic is of him jumping so Hit Da Bricks didn't make sense#catfish post#loz
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smth smth behind every gay man is an even freakier, gayer man
“which is which?” yes.
#muting at 2000 lol#FC and DoFP are so funny to me bc charles is literally lurking behind erik in almost every shot HAHA#they match each other's freak#cant make this shit up#cherik#charles xavier#erik lehnsherr
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