#it actually wasnt too bad I just needed to position well and actually use my bullets for once lol

[arolesbianism]

Aleph quest complete 🎉

[myfandomrealitea]

Your post regarding specifc places for things and some places dont need a vent channel it helped me realise that the people i follow online were damaging to my health. They were constantly sharing real people who died horrifically and saying things like "if you dont share you're supporting violence " while i only joined social media to view art.

I actively speak about real life events offline with my family, we always talk about whats happening in the world once a week and mention anything new within the local and worldwide news. I didn't understand why social media was worsening my mental health around these topics since i could speak about it in real life with my family. i assumed i was horrible for simply not wanting to see it online, When your post about a safe space came up i realised why it made me feel so bad, the artists i followed no longer were posting art and were just constantly sharing news daily about horrific events. It became inescapable and i was unknownly doomscrolling for hours on social media while hoping to see art (that just made me feel bad viewing after seeing so much death) , my only escape was going offline. I already made new accounts just for art and Im so thankful for your post since i did avoid everything that was about real world events since the account is only for art and i feel so much more.. i guess happier.. but definitely more mentally healthy if that makes sense? It felt like my mind was drained or foggy when scrolling through social media, and i wasnt actually paying attention before but now its a lot more, clear, healthy and positive. Im able to think properly and actually pay attention and appreciate the good things online

I'm so glad I was able to help you on your journey to bettering your wellbeing. Its an aspect of why I run this blog and talk about the things that I do.

So very often people don't actually register or realize what parts of their lives are causing stress. They attribute it to 'working too much' or 'not sleeping enough' without realizing that there are direct causes for things like not sleeping enough. And I'm not saying every single part of life comes back to activism, but very often we don't even realize how much negativity and forced awareness we're exposing ourselves to.

I used to religiously follow accounts on Instagram which posted about animal abuse. Other than a handful of celebrities my Instagram feed would be the most graphic videos you could imagine of people hacking into live dogs with axes, boiling cats alive in huge vats of water, jockeys tearing at horse's mouths until their teeth were loose and they were leaving a trail of blood as they walked the winner's circle.

I used to think if I wasn't constantly forcing myself to acknowledge that these things were happening, if I wasn't constantly reminding myself the extent at which these things happen, I was a bad person. I wasn't a real animal lover. If I truly loved animals why wasn't I sharing these videos? Why wasn't I sitting there with thousands of other people acknowledging what animals go through while I sit comfy at home doing nothing?

It got the point where I'd be throwing up constantly, I refused to sleep because I was terrified of the nightmares and my hands would shake as I opened up the Instagram app because I dreaded what I'd see today.

It wasn't helping me. It wasn't helping the animals. I'm just as aware now of what animals go through without having to see any of it.

But now, I have the wellbeing to actually devote myself to meaningful activism. Not just tormenting myself to no outcome. Now, I have the willpower and the energy to sign petitions and do research and take steps in my own life to better the welfare of the animals in my care.

Now I can sleep at night and wake up well-rested with the energy and the motivation to do things both for myself and for other people. Now, I can scroll Instagram and leave polite, correctional comments on misguided videos about animals. Now I have the knowledge to devote my attention and my efforts to where it actually makes a difference and changes animal's lives.

It is such, such a hard thing to drag yourself out of. We're so conditioned into thinking suffering shared is suffering lessened. We're so conditioned into believing that by spamming words anywhere we can we are the direct cause of change.

Its a hell of a learning climb. A steep one. But I genuinely believe the world would be better off for learning and changing as we both had the courage to.

[underqualified-human]

Pomefiore + Octavinille: Siren S/O

→ Request: Hello, I love this book so much. Can we have a gn!/fem!siren!reader with Octavinelle and Pomefiore? Headcanon please. It’s fine if you don’t wanna or can’t, I just love sirens.

→ A/N: Fun fact: My Yuusona is actually half-siren so this was a super fun prompt! [wasnt sure which type of siren you wanted so I kept in sort of vague]

→ Warnings: no beta,

→ Fandom: Disney: Twisted Wonderland

→ Genre: Headcanons

→ Pronouns: They/Them

Vil Schoenheit:

Power couple, immediate power couple

Posts a bunch of pictures of you guys together on his Magicam account [if you’re okay with it]

Spends a bunch of money on wing/tail care products that you might need

Tries to use his charm on your sisters/family and they are having absolutely none of it lol

Is initially very curious about your singing but understands your apprehension completely

Adding on to the previous point he defends you against people that may have a negative view on sirens [earns him a few points with your sisters]

Rook Hunt:

Wants to hear you sing so much that it rivals Odysseus 

”You know you'll die right?” “It'll be worth it”

Knows you get a lot of compliments based on your looks, so he waxes poetically about your personality

Acts the exact same way around your sisters/family so you’ll have to stop them from killing him

Super into learning about how you care for your non-human appendages

Epel Felmier:

He lives in a semi-landlocked area so he doesn't think it’s that big of a deal

Super nervous about meeting anyone in your family

Won't admit it out loud but definitely wants to hear you sing

Gets a little defensive when he sees people getting too close to you in public

If you have to care for your wings he goes “Don’t worry I’ve dealt with chickens before!” then backtracks if you get offended

Azul Ashengrotto:

Power couple vibes but he's secretly dying on the inside whenever he's near you

Immensely insecure, please reassure him

Wants you to sing at the lounge but then remembers it makes people kill themselves :(

Has discussions about the ocean with you, even if he doesn't have many positive memories associated with it

He knows how important family can be, so he’s absolutely terrified to meet them. While the Pomefiore group doesn't know much about sirens, the mers do.

Please defend him if your sisters/family says something rude, he will not do so himself

Honestly kind of bad at caring for tails or wings since he only has tentacles, but he tries his best

Floyd Leech:

Knows what would happen if you sang but still wants you to do it anyway

Talks to you about random land stuff that he thinks is cool

Brags about you to anyone who will listen is close enough. It’s usually the basketball club

You introduced him to your family and like 5 more ships got sunk that day. They want you to bring him around more often

Isn’t all that good at helping you with tail/wing care, but he does try

Jade Leech:

Power Couple #2

If you guys walk down the hall students part like the red sea

Shares a bunch of information about land plants [mushrooms] with you. You have no choice but to listen, he won’t take no for an answer

Subtly uses the fact that he’s dating a siren as leverage when dealing with customers

Helps you groom your tail/wings

Gets along pretty well with your sisters/family. He knows that they could kill him, but he trusts you enough to not be afraid

Tagging: @angelchanisaweeb [requester]

[the-rxven-king]

1,4,8,11,23,24 for your Rook? 👀

w au gh absolutely!!! and for funsies heres a screenshot of him! his name is nekros ingellvar!

also gonna put most of my answers under a read more so i dont fill up peoples dash! im a yapper lmao

1. How old is Rook?

i think hes physically in his late 20s or early 30s! im not super set on a specific age for him just yet, especially since backstory wise hes a resurrected undead so he might be older than that in all actuality

4. Which faction did they join, and why? How long has it been?

hes a mourn watcher! he's been there as long as he can remember (which is only a few years. the whole being dead and coming back to life thing has resulted in him having amnesia, and he doesn't remember his life before). he joined the mourn watchers because he was actually raised by emmrich and the mourn watch and the necropolis was kinda all he knew! and by raised i mean. literally raised from the dead. and he relearned all his speech and mannerisms from him so he stands similarly to him, gestures similarly, and has a similar speech pattern, although sometimes hes a bit more disconnected and distant than emmrich is. hes still relearning emotions a tad.

plus, he does feel that not only do the dead deserve proper respect and souls to be cared for properly, and he also thinks the living should enjoy the time they are given and to not allow any undead to take that from them too soon. life and death can be harmonious and should be where they can be, but protecting the living from meeting death too soon is of utmost importance. he knows what death can take from people, hes experienced it first hand in that he doesnt even know who he was before the mourn watch and the necropolis, so its important to uphold that peace and balance best as possible.

8. What makes Rook a good leader?

its kinda interesting cause like..... nekros really Doesnt feel like the leader type to me. like he feels as much as i feel you were chucked into this position way too quickly with no explanation and just kinda had to fuckin do it because no one would look anywhere else. but i think him being a bit disconnected from his emotions is actually a boon in that case? cause otherwise, hed be anxious and not taken the role. he was anxious about it, it wasnt something he ever expected to do nor wanted to do, but sometimes youre the only one who acts because you have absolutely 0 self preservation and no sense of true risk but also the mind to keep things logical rather than following his heart too closely. emmrich wishes he would allow himself to connect a bit more to those things because he really shines when he does, but nekros just isnt used to it yet, it frightens him a little. he keeps an even head, knows how to be perfectly polite when it comes to people of some authority, and that is all he needs for now other than other people always looking at him and forcing him to keep taking this position than anything else. truly truly truly my mans is like the guy who was put on a group project and was not named team leader and was so happy about it and was content to listen and follow like he always has but then no one was doing anything and he didnt want to get a bad grade and Had to step up in order for something to be done, thats really how it is

23. What does Rook wear in the off hours? Do they like dressing up?

ooooh i have some screenshots of his current downtime fit actually!

i think it suits him! but generally, his taste is things a bit more rugged and worn through, things that feel like they have history. though, of course, he does take after emmrich a lil bit in that he prefers to look put together sometimes as well. things that are sleek and well fitting, but i just havent found a fit in game thats both the proper colors i want him to wear AND has that look yet aside from this! its a lil more oversized on the arms, but it has a certain put together-ness i know he would enjoy. and the feathers! a lil nod to deaths harbingers, the ravens.

colorwise, he likes blacks, browns, and jewel tones! preferably purples or greens, tho not whatever fuckin tone of purple and green the mourn watchers got going on in their downtime fits theres smth wrong with those to me idk why

24. Does Rook have any nightly rituals before bed?

god this is one i havent really thought about..... he truly just feels the type to just flop over? into bed? like hes like my day is done time to rest and he just gets in bed, lies like a corpse, and conks tf out. though over time, if hes having an ok day, i do think hes a bit more methodical about things. little more careful with how he treats himself, making sure hes got clothes and everything ready for the morning based on his plans, lets himself read a few pages in a book he picked out, just little things. but nothing he must do every single night or it feels off. he might treat himself a bit more and have those sorts of nice self care things once hes reunited with emmrich (which just happened in my game, im a bit behind in playing it) and once hes with lucanis

[rosiethedragongeek]

(telling u here bc i didnt wanna hijack the fic post jdbddbbfskdvb)

the main reason I DON'T/WOULDN'T want a canon Spitelout redemption is because I'm not confident Dreamworks could do it well. Riders Of Berk and Race To The Edge do the job of making sure we understand that we are NOT meant to sympathise with Spitelout. Three's a pattern and off the top of my head there are atleast three "spitelout bad!" episodes ("Thawfest", "Snotlout Gets The Axe", "Notlout") and a couple where it is featured as a B plot ("Race to fireworm island"). The writing for Snotlout specifically is probably what I'd pin down as the best in the show, so i guess I never thought to narrow it down to bad writing. I knew that (apparently) it was never commited to one way or the other in the end, but Ive expressed numerous times that the constant back and forth is VERY interesting to me. I love that Snotlout keeps forgiving him. I love that Spitelout keeps getting worse. I love that even though Spitelout causes him pain, and its acknowledged that its wrong, Snotlout still admires him and pines for his attention. Its very special and relatable to me that it takes a lot for Snotlout to learn his lesson, that hes constantly optimistic, and that it always hurts him because he knows he should expect that by now. But he doesn't.

Dreamworks gave us a fair share of Spitelout episodes, seemingly testing the water of what they could get away with showing each time (High amount of pressure -> degrading him infront of his friends -> causing extreme delusion and paranoia). I think they knew that if we were going to get a conclusion, which we had to, it would have to be an important part of the episode - maybe even of the season. Maybe Spitelouts following them around for the episode, and Snotlout's doing perfectly fine, but Spitelout keeps criticising and jumping in to set an example. Maybe things go wrong and someone gets injured. Maybe its Hiccup, or Hookfang, or snotlout himself. and Snotlout has to stand there with a weapon - because I highly doubt Spitelout would take it seriously if there wasnt one involved - and say for the final time that he doesnt need him. That hes had enough of the criticism and the backhanded praise and the stupidly high standards. That he loves him like the father he has failed to be, and that thats what stings most. And Spitelout wouldve had to make a choice. And dreamworks did not have the anything neccessary to do that.

It would have had to been so carefully crafted. So many things would have had to be balanced. Snotlout shouldn't be too soft because then he wont listen - but he cant be too harsh because Spitelout is a survivor of the same mentality that he himself has. They cant put every single bit of blame on him - but to not do that would be irresponsible because they are his actions. They probably csnt use the word 'abuse' - but to use anything else would be downplaying it. It would have been so extremely difficult that I dont know if i wish they had even tried.

It just upsets me to know that they dont have a conversation. They never even have one. (english teacher voice) Maybe their relationship is less of a redemption arc, but more of a tragedy on the endless cycle of abuse perpetuated on war-ridden homelands like Berk.

DUDE

DUDE

This is such a thorough analysis I’m obsessed (and I am SO sorry it took me so long to get here omg)

They really do have a very cyclical, Snotlout gives and Spitelout takes type relationship. Most of their episodes include Snotlout looking up to Spitelout in the beginning, Spitelout being pretty awful to Snotlout in one way or another, and then a sorta positive interaction at the end that doesn’t necessarily address their conflict or what Spitelout did within the episode. It is then assumed that Snotlout and Spitelout have made up and are good again. Only for it all to happen over again.

It really upsets me too that they never have a real conversation where they actually talk about what’s going on, and that there is no indication that anything will ever change between them (aside from Snotlout’s character growth and his new complete understanding of his self worth and the fact that he can live his life outside of the box Spitelout’s created for him.

Thank you so much for this dude this is insane

[parkminijiminie]

i want to say something i’ve been thinking about for a while and figured this would be a good forum for it since a lot of people are discussing how they feel about how Jungkook has changed during this solo era. I think this is something that I thought I was struggling with alone but its starting to look like its not the case based on everything I’ve read outside of Twitter/X (that’s a whole new world these days, unfortunately).

I think what a lot of us are experiencing with Jungkook is really tied to the parasocial relationship we have with BTS, as well as cognitive dissonance. Since I became an army, Jungkook is the member I’ve least been able to connect with at an emotional level, after Tae. Ironically, we have a lot of things in common, including our intense adoration for Jimin. Despite that, I have always thought of him as someone kind, talented, passionate, and ambitious. None of those things have changed so, why is it so difficult for me to be interested or engaged with any of the things he’s doing nowadays? He is obviously the most active member right now, and everytime I go on twitter there is a lot of content and a lot of people reacting to that content. 80% of the time I feel annoyed by this and then I get this very guilty feeling of “why do I feel this way?”

I don’t know if others are like this but in my experience the more I am exposed to something I’m not that interested in the more I start to resent it. Unfortunately, I think that’s been the case with JK since every time I go online in army spaces I just see things about him and not Jimin (who is obviously my bias lol). When you add the whole pseudo bad boy schtick on top (something I’m 100% turned off by) then it starts to become really annoying to engage with his content and all of the overwhelmingly positive (i.e. horny) reactions to it all the time (on army twt that is).

Additionally, my “attraction” for BTS really was based on this perception that they are men that provide this sense of safety, unlike most other men. Their music wasnt fixated on “getting” women or bragging about them, in fact the whole opposite, there was this profound feeling of appreciation of women, among the other topics theyve discussed in the past like mental health. So now, that I’m being spoonfed this music that is exactly what I don’t like from any male artist, then there’s this sort of subconscious feeling of betrayal.

I feel like most of us are trying to convince ourselves to look past everything he’s putting out because he’s someone we’ve admired a lot. But honestly that just puts a lot of pressure on him when instead that we probably need to do is just not engage with things we’re not interested in. I know that’s exactly what I would do with any other artist so the fact that I’m trying to force him to fit into the box of “things I like” when he doesnt anymore is kind of unfair to him too.

There are many reasons that justify why he is choosing to act like this now. I’m a couple months older than he is and I’m also struggling to figure out who I really am and what I want to do with my life. I think its fine for JK to go through this journey and I get why he would need to make these mistakes in order to actually mature. I’ve just realized that the best thing for me to do is distance myself from it without feeling like a solo or an anti just bc I don’t resonate with what he’s putting out and am not interested in engaging with that all the time.

Anon, I love your mind and I think you hit the nail on the head here. In fact, you even helped me realize a few things that have been bugging me ever since Seven was released.

Firstly this: "He is obviously the most active member right now, and everytime I go on twitter there is a lot of content and a lot of people reacting to that content. 80% of the time I feel annoyed by this and then I get this very guilty feeling of “why do I feel this way?” - I have been asking myself this question for months now and you just gave me the answer.

The fact it, that while other members' debut and eras lasted a month or two at most and then sort of died down, I feel like I've been bombarded with Jungkook's content for months now, even during Tae's release. Even since Seven came out, JK is continuously everywhere - Twitter, TikTok, Instagram and almost all the posts I ever see anymore are of him, despite me also biasing Jimin. As you said, since I also don't have any interest in this "pseudo bad boy schtick", but was basically forced to consume both it and "the overwhelmingly positive (i.e. horny) reactions to it" all the time, it became tiring and annoying to me as well.

On top of that, as you wrote, BTS was a safe place for me , too. As a female presenting person, I am so tired of listening to music and consuming content about men “getting” women or bragging about them" (brilliantly said). I really felt safe and secure with BTS, as artists who respect, understand and value not just women, but all genders, and by extenstion I felt safe in the fandom. But the fandom itself changed with the release of Seven. It was never as horny, deranged or overly sexualizing, as it is now. For example, I feel like I have been literally followed everywhere by comments about "champagne confetti" and "Jungkook is a confirmer head pusher".

For me, the type of music JK does now is truly exactly what I don't like listening to from other male artists and the fact that it was coming from a member of BTS, was jarring to me. Rather than it being a "light playful shock", it really was more of "a subconscious feeling of betrayal", as you put it, and I am only now realizing it.

I am not a person to make myself try to like something I don't, but since it was Jungkook doing this music, I still subconsciously have been feeling guilty for not supporting him. Even though I don't actively force myself to listen to it, there is still this urge in me to do it, because this is BTS and I have always supported them, and yet I can't seem to do it, which adds more to my guilt and frustration.

I think these feeling really are due to our parasocial relationship with BTS and Jungkook, who for some of us have been an important part of our lives for years. But honestly, as you said, this truly isn't fair to Jungkook as an individual and an artist. Firstly, this despite JK being a part of BTS, this isn't BTS music. This is Jungkook as a solo individual artist. Whatever reason he had to want to choose this path for his career, it is his right and prerogative. It is time some of us, including me, to accept that the Jungkook we see now and his music, are simply not for us anymore and to distance ourselves from it. Even though I am a heterosexual person , exactly at the age to not mind songs with such adult themes, I actually feel too old for this type of music now. It is maybe best suited for someone in their early 20s, than in their 30s. It simply isn't for me.

We should let go of the guilt for not being able to support Jungkook the way we are used to doing for years with BTS and simply let him live they way he wants to. For his own peace, but above all, for ours.

When BTS reunite again some day, we will have our safe place again.

[misslauwie]

Been in a slump for the past 2 days due to the BB Hot 100 clusterfuck.

As a Jimin-bias I was saddened and disheartened by the opps that Jimin face.

Its been a roller coaster since he releases SMF pt 2 where ppl were shading on his autotune. But fortunately it didnt show up much on my TL. Hence I wasnt too bothered. Anyway for me the song resonates more than LC so at my age I dont really care about other opinion but my own for important things. People will have different preferences and you cant expect everybody to like what you like or hate what you hate.

And then the 10s encore happened. To be honest when I first watched it. I cringed and dread pooled in my stomach coz I just know he is going to be dragged over it. Nevermind the stunning performances he delivered in Musicbank. But he shut up the haters again with Lee Mujin accoustic performance and I was over the moon again.

And then Billboard Hot 100 happened and I literally cried while holding my phone and posting to twitter and stationhead because I was streaming there. Couldnt sleep even though it was a working day after that night.

Anyways the takeaway here is that. I know its cliche but I also need to remind myself that Jimin knows he's love by many. More than the hatred hes receiving. The fact that he tears up during the live after BB 100 also is a testimony how it was so unexpected & moving for him.

We came down and moved on too fast from the #1 BB Hot 100. It should be celebrated more. I was reminded yet again that Jimin is the first Korean soloist to achieve that title in the last 6 decades where competition is intense and GP is bombarded with new content every other day and where content is heavily curated for the GP to consume. So lets not dim the light from that achievement.

During all these chaos, I remember a saying...

The greatest light cast a long shadow.

As much as I hate all these shades thrown on Jimin... A publicity good or bad is still publicity. & Jimin will become more popular, well known because of it. We as his supporters just need to share more of the good stuff so GP dont misunderstand him or receives the wrong perception.

But I have faith in Jimin because hes known to break boundaries and delivers more than what is expected of him. He never overpromises and underdeliver. He always slay and perform.

Actually know BTS since 2018 but didnt become a fan until Sep 2022. Jimin was the one who hooked me from ON MV with his blue hair and just great dance performance.

I can just binge on his Lee Mujin performance. I do think he needs to release that accoustic versions to streaming platform. Its such a waste that I cant listen to it while I sleep. His voice is a lullaby for me.

I guess the whole point of this blog is to remind myself and everyone out there that we need to celebrate more on his #1 BB 100 rather than focusing on the negative.

I was thinking that we can do a legal recourse with regards to how blatant the discrimination against Jimin is. But other than signing a global petition to boycott BB, cant think of any other way. But this discrimination against a colored and non US artist and how Armys rallied and use different platforms to support Jimin is actually the first ripple of a stone drop in the lake. It might takes away relevancy of the ruling platform like YT and chart like BB.

After all consumer doesnt like being treated as fools. Im pretty sure even non-army who saw the blatant discrimination if they are rational will also see that this kind of monopoly is not good in the long run.

Changes always start small and then ripples to become waves. I believe in Jimin. I believe in BTS. I believe in Army. Lets pay the positivity forward.

[omegasmileyface]

some things fuck up your life if you dont do them. this post wasnt supposed to be about EVERYTHING, im a hedonist myself and a nig believer that if somwthing isnt working for you you should quit. fuck it. but, like, the thing i was originally doing in this post was an accounting lesson, because i paid hundreds of dollars for an accounting course because i hated my job and needed a certification to get a job i could almost begin to tolerate. if i did do it, i would be bored for 20 minutes. if i didnt do it, i would have wasted money i cant afford, plus the month of labor i had already put in, and i would still be just as unqualified for accounting jobs, and so i would either continue to not have a job (which i really cant afford) or have to get a job that makes me feel like dying every day forever

its about prioritization. means and ends. picking up a book i want to read is boring, but ill feel way better after reading it. calling the theater to order a ticket is terrifying, but ill be much happier after i watch the show. starting the essay feels like sticking my hand in a toilet but not having done the essay would ruin my one chance at a grade.

due to the season i posted this, lots of the comments have been along the lines of "this is a sign for my to do my taxes" and... yeah. if you do your taxes bored, you have one boring afternoon. if you do your taxes scared, you have a couple hours of checking up on yourself, and pausing midway to make sure your breathing is ok. if you do your taxes shitty (in the us), you get a letter from the irs that says "hey we need another $20" / "hey you gave us an extra $20" and you fix it. but if you don't do your taxes? that's when the real trouble starts

i am a strong believer that "cheating" is mostly fake, and you should make something easy and pleasant for you however possible. watch tv while folding laundry, store your toothbrush in the kitchen, whatever. also that you should be allowed to figure out for yourself what deserves your attention and quit things, even if it means "giving up" on a long-term goal of yours or "wasting" progress or disappointing someone. but i also think you have to do things sometimes, or at least start things, in order to have fun and pleasure (and do moral good) in life. you deserve slow-dopamine-release hobbies, and not facing consequences for failed responsibilities, and your friends deserve a friend who does (some) things with them and generally doesnt flake.

with all that in mind, its possible youre the kind of person for whom "waiting for the right time" actually ends up getting a right time before it's too late, or for whom you only feel really shitty about things if they're bad enough that you genuinely shouldn't do them. if so, that's genuinely awesome! but for most of the people seeing this post, there's some kind of disability or illness or just-plain-habit making that more difficult (i have seen this post tagged adhd a million times, and autism, depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue, and ocd a hundred times each (/hyperbole))... to quote a comment ive seen on it several times, from different people, "if I didn't do things bored i would never do things at all"— i go "uuuugggghhhh" everytime i think about my hobbies, or my career, or spending time with my friends, or being in public, or leaving my house, or just about anything else. but i still want those things. so, i made this reminder that when you think "well, ill do it later— i cant do it right now. the time isn't right; im bored" that "its boring" doesnt necessarily mean you cant/shouldnt do it. its a rule you made for yourself, and it has its defensive purposes, but you have to recognize it and know when its time to break it, you know? not everything has to be perfect, and not all positive motion needs to be immediate. you gotta plan for the future on neurotransmitter stocks sometimes

does that make any sense? sorry if at any point it came off accusatorily! i didnt mean it that way but i just woke up >< thank you for the comment!

realizing that sticking to the "do it bad" "do it scared" mentality implies theres also a "do it bored"

[chiimeramanticore]

any thoughts/headcanons/ideas/takes you feel compelled to share on a whim? about anything in particular?

this is an older ask thats been sitting in my inbox but i wanna use it as my opportunity to talk about benny while im still fnvposting bc BOY do i have thoughts about benny and BOY do i have a story for you guys

so as i briefly mentioned before, i had decided to do the yes man route before i even played the game bc i just wanted to play for him at first lol. i didnt know how closely tied yes man was to benny before meeting him- my main 2 goals were "get that bastard who shot me" and "find my robot boyfriend" lmao

when i got to the strip and confronted benny, he convinced me to go up to the presidential suite and told me he'd meet me there- ofc this was a trap, but with a good speech check (like i said, a good speech check makes for some of my favorite moments in the game) i managed to convince him to let me go . i dont even remember what i said (i think it was something like "if you let me go i won't follow you") but i remember he was like ".....i cant believe im actually letting you live" and in that moment i was like Ohh im in this fuckers head now

since then ive been imagining this semi-homoerotic rivalry between us, a la tom and jerry or cooper and propeller knight lmao. he skipped town immediately made a run for the fort (obviously. him letting me live didnt mean he was done trying to take over vegas) and i ran after him bc. well i needed that chip too lmao . when i got to the fort i found him captured by the legion, and i finally had the opportunity to talk to him at length.

after learning his backstory and motivations, i realized, i dont actually hate benny nearly as much as i thought i did? like he's an asshole for sure, and he will always be the guy who shot me in the head lol but like, he wasnt like... evil yknow. i realized i saw a lot of myself in him- he's just one guy who took a look at the world and realized he didnt like any of it, and wanted to change it... but he's also only one guy. it felt like we started out in the same position, and he lost his way at some point. he kinda epitomized my own (in-character) fear that whatever i did with new vegas after taking over wouldn't be the right decisions to make. and god i felt bad for him

so i tried to let him go. twice lol . i went out of my way to find a stealth boy for him like he asked, but he was a stupid asshole and activated it immediately when i gave it to him and then we both died dfkghk so i did the bunker mission and went back to caesar and he was like "ok you can choose how benny dies" and i asked if he could be let go and he was like "haha youre funny. choose something or we're crucifying him" and i was like Okay Okay Sorry

if im being completely honest i felt bad for benny like this. i'd usurped his plans embarrassingly easily, and now he's tied up and on death row because of it. we'd had our exchanges in who had the upper hand, but i didnt wanna just kill him like this, it didn't feel fair. so i told him to fight me in the arena, and he was like. amused by the idea? and we got our stupid machetes from the legion and fought and it was clumsy and messy bc im not good with melee and he's just an npc but there was something kinda perfect and human about it

and then i got the final blow on him. and my game froze. it froze so bad i had to force shut down my pc . the next day i turned it on and guess whose copy of fnv was completely busted! like loading any save or starting a new game would immediately crash the game kind of busted. and then i went to open yes man and SOMEHOW his data was entirely wiped . and i was CRUSHED because that's!!! that's the reason i started playing fnv to begin with!! i put a month of play time into him!! i'd maxed out my relationship with him!! i didnt know if i could even get that progress back!! but i had to go to work and i couldnt stick around to find out!

so i spent ALL day on friday anxious and sad and worried i wouldnt be able to fix things. it took me all weekend but i did eventually get everything fixed (extra special thank u to yes man's dev for helping me w him). but i swear to god i was convinced this was all somehow benny's doing. the game had frozen on a frame of benny mid-machete chest stab, and it was the last thing i saw before all of this happened. after our extended cat and mouse game, after all this back and forth, it felt like he was fucking me over one last time from beyond the grave and beyond even the limitations of the game. i took his life, he took my yes man. like seriously yes man was literally the only other program that was affected by the crash, it FELT targeted lmao

when i got the game working again, i had to replay the sequence where i killed benny and it didnt crash when i killed him this time. actually seeing him fall to the ground dead was oddly both cathartic and painful. i took his belongings (which felt kinda disrespectful but im sure he'd have wanted me to lol) and i left the fort wearing his suit. i gave yes man his gun (maria, which i love that he named, the loser)

i dont think benny was Right (though i dont think anyone in this game is meant to be entirely Right lol) but i also think he had the right idea going in. he's equal parts inspiring and a cautionary tale and i hate him just as much as i love him. he might be my favorite character in this game. i'll miss you, you asshole

[hanhan-22]

240719

I guess it didnt mattered , all that I felt miserable and lonely were just a miniscule of what i shall be upset about . Right how did I forgot who was I , how I was raised once born in an ill fated family there shall be no scape.

I dont want to be the selfish heartless bastard she only has me to listen to her thats all she had been doing since i was born just pouring her feelings on me cause she had no other friend or just feared so desperately that people see her not so perfect side and just prefered to dump it on me. Years and years of constant torture on my soul due to sin of being born as child of a narcissit, a bastard that enjoyed manipulating and ruling over his so called family only to become bold enough to point his finger back at the victoms and act as one left me with shattered soul with almost no pain no tear just an never ending sense of disgust about mankind everyone and everything. Thats what happens when you let predators rule over you they never get satisfied with crushing you ,with no fear no shame no guilt and once bored move on and justify whether you deserved or it had in some way benefited YOU ,almost like an animal if dont take it an insult for the animal.

Thats what happened to her , raised as a people pleaser with severe good girl syndrome , married in a pink bubble gum vision shattered by betrayal . Started over but never healed settled for sth she thought others wont snatch and ppl would assume as a good catch for her position , trapped in with a narcissit abuser which used her people pleasing and empathy as a tool to tame her into extreme abundment issues while she raised her children and they became her hope for future , their best friend and somebody on their team and a good excuse to never address this sick stockholm syndrome. Cynicall enough afterall she still uses her resources to keep it all together , she still asks me to be a pawn on the board game to continue this shit while i ask myself shouldnt i havr been protected yes she is miserable but shouldnt she left long before become so broken, shoulnt i deserved to know human emotions and actually feel them wasnt the little me deserved a bit more childhood before numbing my feelings and use hatred as a driven force to escape.

Dont get me wrong i dont blame her the real demon real out of human the piece of good for nothing shit and bastard is my father , the only thing i blsme her is that she didnt see the worst coming thinking garbage has potential and didnt left early before us get damaged this bad.

And i wake up everyday asking what is wrong with me , why there is no will to live or actually more curious on how others are so driven and earnest for life. How should i thrive higher with this altered brain designed to survive misery. What i want while never fully familiarized with simple emotional clues related to choice freedome or happiness. Complex ptsd they say, one shall never actually heal from it but rather with lots of practice gets very skilled at managing it properly in order to live a normal life . Normal well true havent achieved it since the scape , fear of losing fear of getting back fear of not deserving what achieved loneliness and then losing the sense of living time place and even pain .

I feel bad for her i may not care to continue or not but she does want to live, yes she is using me and damaging me too but at least it is done without meaning it unlike the abuser which caused the cptsd of 25 years. Therefore i need to survive once more become better becoming more i dont know how and i fear i wont be capable but as always no one cares what i fear or feel so i shall adopt and suvive.

[moldybits]

so like, i used to dread work a couple reasons (despite it being like, work lol). the biggest is that despite the fact that my pharmacy is supposed to rotate positions, I'm almost always stuck at some sort of register (either drive thru or pick up) which is exhausting. i deal with customers more than any of my coworkers sometimes. its not that I don't know what I'm doing either! I've been a tech for over 3 years now and I'm nationally certified so... I'm not nothing? but I never got to do many other things, and it felt purposeful. not to mention I felt so.. outcasted by my coworkers. it made each day suck

but something changed. i think it happened in December? it was during my severe depression episode, where I told my pharmacist in charge what I've been going thru. i also mentioned that being at register all the time can just wear me down. i have never once complained at being at register constantly, so this is the first time I've ever even implied it. my boss sincerely told me that she was surprised it was so difficult for me, because i don't show it. she says i am the most calm and collected, even with the worst customers. that i never show frustration and anger (and some of my coworkers very much do). and apparently everyone in the pharmacy is amazed by how well I do it.

so it wasnt that i was too bad at everything else... its that I'm actually the best at this compared to everyone else. and that actually made me feel a lot better? like, being on register always sucks but it has made it soooo much easier mentally. I've also noticed I've been rotating more, which is a nice change (while also being told by both managers that I'm doing very well at other tasks!!!)

but the nicest thing is... my coworkers interact with me more? they include me, talk to me, laugh and joke with me, and I just feel like I'm a part of the team now. and I'm starting conversations with them and even making them laugh! it makes the day go by faster and easier.

i guess i dont need much. just acceptance? to feel like I'm a part of the group? maybe that's a bit sad, but I spent most of my childhood being an outcast and in isolation. all I want is to be welcomed by others. work feels so much better feeling like I have that now.

[alienpupy]

I came out to my family at 15, so i dont know how relevant my experience will be but oh well.

I told them over a family dinner, and on the day of it wasnt that complicated, I was scared shitless but I basically just said "hey so I'm trans, I'm not a girl and I use this name and these pronouns now". I had other conversations with my parents and brother individually in the days/weeks after, and tried to meet each of them where they were and explain more general stuff about trans people and my own experience. the general vibe at first was confused hesitation that morphed into enthusiatic support (my mom), reluctant support (my dad) and indifference (my brother). They got used to my new name pretty quick, but they're still really bad at pronouns (even now after 5 years, HRT and top surgery lmao).

I think the main thing is to prepare yourself to answer uncomfortable/weird questions without getting upset? like i struggled a lot with that but it's pretty important if they dont know any other trans people that would help them contextualise stuff. The more basic information about trans people and transition you can give them, the more familiar it'll feel to them, and the faster it'll be for them to get used to the change.

You might have to rely on clichés at first to express things to them too, in my experience it's a lot easier for cis people to understand the "wrong body" narrative than anything more nuanced and genuine. That and describing transition as something you need to be happy. Baby steps, yaknow? I remember trying to talk to my dad about what being trans was actually like when i was like 16 and 90% of what i said went over his head because I hadnt given him enough of the basics first.

If you're going to tell them about HRT, maybe have some transition timeline pics handy to give them a concrete and positive idea of what that does. Those pictures of guys who go from teenage lesbian to kratos, that kinda thing. Just in case they've heard anti-HRT propaganda or have concerns about what it would actually do to you. Having stories or anecdotes from friends about their experiences with HRT is also very helpful in my experience. Make it clear to them you've done your research and you know what you're doing.

Thats all i can think of for now but yea :] hope thats at least a little helpful

seeking stories and advice:

how did you come out as trans to your parents?

I’ve been out to my friends as trans for a few years now, but the urge to get on HRT is getting stronger. And if I’m going to medically transition, I want to come out to my parents. They’ve absorbed a lot of ambient transphobia, but they’re not deliberately cruel people. Any experience with this would be super appreciated :)

[xgryffinwhore]

september nights

request:  i was wondering if you could write another soft bill smut? i don’t really have a specific plot in mind, we’re just really lacking content on tumblr rn :( in some really precarious place where they don’t want to get caught

warnings: soft smut, like i mean very soft.

word count: 2118

before your lips met bill denbrough’s, love was always, to say the least, a conundrum. lets be real for second, boys wasted your time, and you let them. only the cute ones of course. you are a hopeless romantic, drunk off of molly ringwald and john travolta films. you wanted any relationship you had to be just like the movies.

through your heart breaks, your best friends stood by you, your losers. eddie, richie, bev, stan, ben, and bill. for each tear you shed a punch was thrown to the man who caused it, they were protective over you. bill the most though, he always got so defensive when you were in the mix. all throughout middle & high school, bill has had to deal with every guy who even dares to think about breaking your heart.

“its not fair bill” you wailed into your pillow. he stroked your back and hushed you, his eyes welling with tears. “im never fucking good enough for any guy and its so fucking sad!” your complaints being cut off mid sentence by a choked out cry. “y-y/n. all of y-your boyfriend are i-idiots. anyone w-who would d-d-do this to you isnt w-worth your t-time. anyone w-would be the luckiest in the w-world to have y-you in their life” you picked your head up and looked at him with swollen lips and blood shot eyes “there no one out there for me bill, no one.” 

he bit his lip, fighting back any tears dripping from his eyes “they j-just dont see how p-pretty you are. how g-gentle and caring and s-s-sweet, and h-how your face c-can light up any room. theyre f-fucking idiots, and you d-deserve m-more.” you clearly thought he was being nice, because you could take a MOTHER FUCKING GOD DAMN hint, so you replied “i wish there was someone out there like you, for me, that thinks of me the way you do.” 

he furrowed his brows, tossing his head back and running his fingers furiously through his hair. “d-dammit y/n!” he cursed “cant you s-see what ive b-been trying to say? w-w-what ive been t-trying to say f-for the last f-five years!?!” your expression was bewildered, your brain was going a mile a minute trying to figure out what he meant. his frustration got the best of him, he got up and stormed out the door,  feeling embarrassed and stupid for trying to make you understand how he felt.

he was half way out your front door, fuming for his keys lodged deep into his front pocket; when suddenly:

“bill!”

his head turned at the call of his name, “y-y/n please i d-”

smack.

your lips locked with his, he rain pouring heavily outside. bills lips stilled at the contact, but this lasted briefly, he deepened this kiss by pulling you in to his abdomen by your mid back. your bunched the front of his base ball t shirt with your fists, and he did the same but with your hair.

the rest is basically history.

now six months later, and you couldnt have been happier. bill knew how to treat you, nights out twice a week (you always wanted to pay but bill insisted,) holding your hand to and from classes, he let you borrow have his varsity baseball jacket, which smelt just like him and was a little too big for you. 

when he would drop you off and your classes, he would always grab your hand and transfer a tiny piece of paper into your palm. when you got into class to unfold it, it was always a cute little message about his love for you. 

bill had it bad for you, everyone knew that, and you loved every minute of it. he met every and any standard you had, and exceeded your expectations. 

it was september, still warm enough in derry to wear shorts, so you and your friends thought of a last hurrah for the ending of the summery weather.

“camp out, its nearly perfect” Richie exclaimed. eddie rolled his eyes “like youve ever been near anything perfect toizer, do you even know what perfect means?” richie shoved eddie “yeah eddie i actually have. have you seen amanda’s tits?”

 you tuned out richie and eddies bickering as you’re boyfriend cleared his throat. “you g-gonna go?” he said into your ear, “only if you promise to wear bug spray bill, you know how bad-” he cut you off with a kiss, his mouth forming a small smile at how cute you were. “get a room, honestly” stan poked, pda wasn’t his favorite... “at least i h-have something to k-kiss aye s-stannie”

you arrived at the edge of the forest, parking your car at the last parking ish space. you walked toward the sounds of ben and richie fighting, and came to see that richie really went all out. three tents, sticks for a fire, and more snacks than anyone needed. 

you all spent the remanence of the daylight dancing in the light sky, sharing stories, and eating waaaay too many chips. it was dark now, you all huddled in a circle near the fire; making small talk and trying not to admit you were all very tired.

“ok folks, im off to bed” richie yawned “me stan eddie n’ mike will take the green tent, bev and ben in the red.” richie paused and smirked over at you and bill, you were tangled in his limbs, golfed in his navy blue pull over. “and uh- heh- billy boy and y/n in the yellow tent eh?” you could practically feel bills eye roll, god richie was so immature.

“w-we dont have to s-sleep in the s-s-same tent, i c-can ask ben if he’d s-switch” you look up at bill and reassure him “bill no- its not a big deal, right?” he tucks your hair behind your ear and kisses the side of your temple “c-course not.”

you both went into the tent, bill began to unroll the blankets you both had packed tightly into your bags. You both set up your makeshift bed, bill leaned against a pile of pillows while you hugged his side, your face buried in his neck. his smell was absolutely intoxicating; his skin had remanence of his milk and honey body wash, but it was slightly overpowered by wintergreen, clove, and his bourbon cologne. 

you were like this for around an hour, the orange crank-powered lantern being the only source of light. you switch positions though, you now laid your head on his lap, reading a magazine you stole from the hair salon. he watched your eyes scan every letter, when you read something funny you’d huff to yourself, and when something was intresting you stuck your tongue out from between your teeth. he adored you.

“d-dont stay up t-too late” he stroked your hair off your shoulder “we have t-to have you w-well r-r-rested.” you sat up from beside him, as he adjusted the pillows and took off his pull over, then his pants. he got under the covers and waited for you.

“nice donut boxers” you laughed. “s-shut up” he blushed and regreted not changing them when he had the chance. you turned around took off your shirt, you were shy about how you looked, but it was just bill. it was just bill. you heard his breath hitch, his eagerness radiating off his body onto yours. the air became tense as you unzipped your pants and threw them to the corner. you turned around, bills pupils growing until you were completely facing him.

“yeah i know. mine are boring” you laugh nervously, brushing your hair behind your ear and getting under the covers next to him. he didnt respond, he couldnt take his eyes off of you.you began to sit up again “i can go put back on-” “n-no!” he interrupts, his blush taking up his entire face.

“i j-j-just cant b-believe i g-get to see something s-so special” he gulped “s-so b-b-b-beautiful.”

you grabbed him by his shoulders and kissed him, hard. youve been with boys before, i mean youve dated plenty of people. but no one ever called your body special. hot, yeah. nice, yeah. beautiful, sure. but no one ever thought that it was special. 

bill was a kind boy, the most you two have ever done is get each other off with your hands, always clothed. bill never asked to see more, he felt lucky enough just to make you feel good, and that was enough for him. so when you felt the heat of his hands hovering over your body but not touching it, you new you’d have to call the shots tonight.

“bill,” you laid down “just touch me everywhere, please.” he crawled in between your legs, kneeling so that he could lean over your face “m-my pleasure.”

he traced your collar, leaving small, delicate, kisses to make up for what his fingers left behind as they trailed. he kissed the valley between your breasts, licking slow striped down your skin. he picked up your upper back a little and cocked his head to the side, you nodded and he unclipped your bra. he sat their with his mouth open, taking in the view. you blushed and muttered “hey, keep that mouth to good use.” he dipped down and sucked on your nipples, his mouth felt so good against your skin grazed with goosebumps. he was gingerly with his tongue, it was sexy, it was romantic. he kissed down your stomach, his fingers sweeping down your sides. you could see his member pressing against his boxers, the pressure made him wince every once in a while. his fingers met your panties and he hooked them. again, he looked up for permission, you nodded once again. 

he brought your underwear down your legs and off, looking back to see what he had relieved. he licked his lips, getting ready to please you more than he already did. but you felt bad, bill always gave gave and gave. “its ok, im ready right now.” bill looked up at you in shock, he wasnt expecting you’d want to go all the way. “y/n, y-youre sure?” you lean up and kiss his lips, swiping your tongue against his bottom lip “please.”

he pulled down his boxers eagerly, his member sprung out to hit his stomach. he lined up with you, checking once more that it was ok. then he pushed in, bottoming out. he felt bigger than you thought, of course he was well endowed, but he filled you up so well. you mewled, the pain and pleasure making a delicious feeling that made your toes curl.

he waited, but began slowly moving after a bit. he grunted, feeling you wrapped around him was something he’d never be able to get out of his head he thought to himself. he grunted “f-fuck this feels g-good’ he grunted, his breath becoming heavy and full of lust. with every stroke, you felt yourself get more and more lost in the bliss he made you feel. “youre making me feel so good  bill” you moan, the sound of his name coming out of your mouth driving him absolutely crazy. he speeds up, loving the view of your face contorting in pleasure and your body moving with his. 

he couldnt help but feel admiration to you, your hair formed a halo around your head, and the sweat that coated your skin made you glisten in the orange light. “im t-the luckiest in the world” he husks, holding your cheek.��

you felt the knot in your core coming undone, “bill im close” you strain, trying not to be too loud so you dont wake your friends. he moved your leg up to his shoulder, hitting you from a different, deeper angle. his fingers went to your clit, making you bite your had to stop you from screaming. “you l-look so p-pretty y/n, t-taking me s-so well. making y-you feel so good.” “so good bill” you repeat, drunken off his cock and fingers. 

without warning, you came came, your legs spazzing as you moaned “fuck bill” he followed, his hips stuttering, as he cried out into your shoulder. he pulled out and laid next to you, both of you breathing heavily and coming off your highs. 

“y/n” he looked at you “t-that was really j-just wow- thank y-you.” you kissed him, chaste and sweet “that was great yeah?” “it w-was perfect babe. t-thank you f-for t-that. i love you y-y/n.”

“i love you too bill.”

he sat up, his fingers dancing on your inner thigh.

“y/n?”

“yeah?”

“c-can we p-please do t-that again?”

[chloe-online]

i love you, unlike they did

so i wanted to write something for chris <33 so heres that. pretty much just him needing to reassure his s/o thats been in shitty relationships. this will hopefully be fluffy with a bit of angst but i haven't wrote it yet so we'll see (pretty much just fluffy). enjoy! (please read the warnings)

pairing: Chris redfield x fem!reader

warnings: mentions of sex, abusive past relationship, reader having trust issues

words: 844

You were a very anxious person. You had trouble trusting people, even the ones who have proven themselves more than worthy of your trust. Like chris, he was everything you could ask for but more, and while you trusted him you just felt like some things were meant to be kept to yourself. You were also very scared to lose him, you really loved him, and you’ve had abusive relationships before and chris wasnt like that, he really did care. He was patient with you while you figured out how to be in a healthy relationship.

Chris was out on a mission but he could be home any day. If he did show up today you wanted to house to be clean, so you started wiping the counters, cleaning out the fridge, picking up anything left on the floor, sweeping, vacuuming, and just tidying up the bedroom along with the bathroom. Everything looked good enough.

You were kind of scared that if you left the house a mess that he’d be disappointed with you, thats how it was in past relationships anyway.

You were sweaty and tired when there was knocking on the door. Your heart raced at that sound ‘but i look bad’ ‘he cant see me like this’ your heart was thumping as you went to open it, and there he was. Chris was standing there bandaged, bruised, and very tired-looking.

“Chris!” you clung to him, and he held you close. you pulled away and gestured him inside the home. You two sat down on the couch and started to catch up with how the mission went and how things were here.

“So, how was your mission? Are you okay, anything you need me to patch up?”

“Actually my mission ended two days ago, i was just helping out at HQ, and no im alright y/n. How were things here?” you smiled and sat yourself on his lap.

“Better now that you’re here,” you giggled, leaning in for a kiss. You gripped onto his shirt and tilted your head into the kiss.

“So do you wanna unwind baby?” you pulled away from the kiss and made eye contact with him, smirking. Something about you seemed off, you guys have only been dating for 5 months and sex has never really been brought up.

“y/n are you sure? We dont have to,”

“But im your girlfriend, thats what im here for,” Chris’s face dropped at that sentence. He looked at you, and placed his hand on your thigh.

“Baby, who told you that?” he softly rubbed your thigh waiting for a response.

“Well that how its always been in the past. W-with my ex-boyfriends”

“They’re your ex for a reason y/n. Unlike them, i love you, and not just for sex. Thats something i dont quite need. I love you, dont think thats the only reason im with you.” your eyes stung, tears threatening to fall. He didnt want just sex. He really loved you, unlike the other scum you’ve dated. You snuggled to his chest and choked out an ‘i love you’ and he wrapped his warm arms around you.

“So um, how was your mission? What happened?” you asked tracing a scar with your finger. He gave you a warm smile and ran his finger through your hair.

“Oh you know just me going out and helping people against bioweapons as usual and missing you of course. Nothing special, just like every other one. I could use a shower though,” you smiled, pushing away from his chest.

“That sounds lovely, and maybe i can kiss some of your scars better,” you smiled at him. He leaned in for a kiss and moved his hands to your bad from your thighs

“Deal.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(shower scenes arent my thing)

You slipped into one of Chris’s big shirts and some soft pajama pants. Chris was already in bed waiting for you. You climbed into bed right next to chris.

“Someone found my clothes,” he chuckled. You snuggled up next to him, laying your head on his chest tracing some of the scars on his abdomen. He had a lot of scars but you just throught it made him beautiful.

“Chris?”

“Hmm?”

“Can i ask you something?”

“Of course sweetheart.”

“Can you stay for a while? Im scared all this distance is going to wreck our relationship,” you positioned your head so you could make eye contact.

“Im going to be here for a while doll, this distance wont ruin anything, i love you and i always will,” he kissed your hairline and held you. You gave him a soft smile and re-positioned your head to lay down.

“I love you too chris,” you were going to marry this man. Even though you werent used to being in a healthy relationship, and you were a very anxious person, he loved you and stayed patient with you. You genuinely loved him.

Eventually, you both were silent and the kisses you were leaving on his chest slowed, both of you sleeping peacefully in each others arms.

this isn't the best but i have three more stories lined up, one for carlos, karl, and leon. so hopefully those turn out better. i hope you still enjoyed this little story <3

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for the Avengers teaching you how to drive

Avengers x reader

warnings:

a/n:

prompt: anonymous: “hey! if it's not too much to ask... can i request an MCU Avengers headcanon of the team teaching teen!reader how to drive? i'm finally learning how to and it's absolutely terrifying (i really hope this sends properly because firefox crashed while i was trying to write it lol)”

firstly no one was very thrilled to be your teacher because getting in the car with an inexperienced driver just felt like a trap

and although they’d put themselves in much more dangerous situations than this

they all had the same thing to say:

“this is not how i want to go down”

but theyd FORBID anyone else from stepping in

“it’s okay, i’ll do it” -cap

“no, no, no. i dont think the one hundred year old man knows today’s road rules. i should teach y/n” -nat

“natasha, you’ve let me drive you before. was i that bad?” -cap

“im not having this discussion” -nat

“you should let vis do it, he might stay calm while y/n drives” -wanda

“what about sam—” -bucky

“no.” -sam

you were actually quietly watching them bicker about who’d have the honor of teaching you

“i dont let anyone else drive me, y/n. you’re not special. but i’ll give you a cool car when you get your license, deal?” -tony

“i’m not special?” -you

“sure you are kid, i just never want to get in a car that you’re driving is all” -tony, patting your head

“oh, okay” -you

the avengers actually decided that wanda was right and vision was probably the best equipped to teach you

they just had to see if you’d enjoy having him as a teacher

the team set up a little course at HQ with a LOT of cones

“how am i supposed to get around all of those?” -you

“you can use your powers!” -thor

“that’s against the rules!” -you

they had to take some of the cones away :(

all the avengers watched from the side of the course

“now, y/n, you need to shift into drive. press your foot on the brake and move this knob to the ‘D’ position” -vision

“which one is the brake?” -you

“...the left one” -vis

sam was recording on his phone

and had redwing do a bird’s eye view for “special footage”

“this should be good” -sam

as soon as you stepped on the gas, the car went speeding straight forward

sam was laughing his ass off but the rest of the avengers were terrified for you

you hit 6 cones before the brakes

“have some faith in them, guys” -wanda

“i just don’t think that’s possible. you guys okay in there?” -rhodey

“spectacular, thank you for your concern” -vis

you needed to try a different teacher

nat was next in line

“okay, so we probably should have mentioned how sensitive you have to be with the pedals. i know we dont do that on missions, but when you’re on the road, you have to watch all of your surroundings” -nat

she totally brought you straight into traffic because the only way you learn in through intense pressure and real world experience (according to her)

“hands at ten and two, right?” -you

“if that’s what you think” -nat

“that’s not helping” -you

screaming every time you turned

ESPECIALLY left hand turns (or right turns if you are not in the US but this takes place in the US i guess idk it’s whatever you want ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

redwing was still following you

everyone was watching the surveillance footage at HQ

“tony, you’re paying for any damages y/n makes, right?” -cap

“is that all im good for? my money?” -tony... “duh, of course i’m paying”

blowing past a red light

“you were supposed to stop” -nat

“what, now?” -you, braking in the middle of the intersection

*honking from all sides*

“what do you think, y/n?” -nat

cap was covering his eyes

“this is a disaster” -wanda

“takes one to know one” -tony, without thinking “oh my god, i’m sorry”

“lets just focus on y/n, maybe we can give them some feedback” -cap

nat made you drive into a parking lot

to park

“okay, just pull in straight. you have to be even in between the lines” -nat

“is that good?” -you

“y/n...you parked directly on top of the line” -nat

“...fuck” -you

next person to teach you was......

“come on, y/n. just go through the drive thru. i’ll pay for your chicken nuggets” -rhodey

“i dont really want chicken nuggets” -you

“fine, okay, you can get whatever you want. just go through the drive thru” -rhodey

you hit the curb

you actually rode the curb

“this is fine” -you

“well...you’re getting better” -rhodey

“dont sugarcoat it, man” -you

“come on! eyes on the road!” -rhodey

steve decided to step in and let you handle the driving on an actual mission

“at least here you’ll have some sort of free reign, that way you can get a better feeling of control when driving” -cap

“we dont like this plan” -all the avengers in the back of this big ass truck

redwing was following ofc

honestly,,,,, that plan wasn’t too bad

you did hit a few trees but this was a heavy duty vehicle

you’d have to do a lot more than that to hurt anything

“hey, this is actually pretty cool! i think ive got the hang of it!” -you

they scheduled you drivers test when you got back, but assured you that it wasnt the end of the world if you failed. you could retake it after some more practice

but you did end up passing it!!!! even tho there were a few mishaps

“mx. l/n, your turn signal” -instructor

“my what?” -you “oh crap”

but you got your license and the team took turns passing it around to take a look at it

“oh man, you look high as a kite. what’s going on with your face???” -tony

“shut up! no i dont!” -you

celebratory dinner!!!!

and sam put together a compilation of all your worst/best moments behind the wheel

“heres the one where they put it in reverse instead of park and started rolling backwards......and thats when they jumped out to try to stop it with their bare hands....oh no!!! they’re going down!!!!” -sam

“oh my god, nooo!” -you, burying your face in your hands

and to top it all off......tony bought you your own car (and got any modifications you wanted)

“i swear to god if you ask for flames on the sides, im donating it” -tony

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @rorybutnotgilmore // @locke-writes // @sweetheartliz07 // @queen-destenie // @natasha-danvers // @lokihiddles // @frostedficrecs // @lotsoffandomrecs // @johnmurphyisqueer // @teenwaywardasgardian // @pappydaddy // @captainshazamerica // @freya-xo // @ravenmoore14 // @thisetaernallove // @ofthedewthesunlight // @canarypoint // @zoeyserpentluck // @randomawesomeperson102 // @spideyandtheboys // @ghost-bich // @wonderful-writer // @of-a-chaotic-mind // @groovyfluxie //

[literate-simp]

Bakugou realizing that sometimes, bad things happen to good people

About: his s/o opens up to him about their trauma

Warning(s): mentions of trauma, slight angst, few curse words because Bakugou

Include(s): gn! reader, being comforted and understood by pomeranian, fluff

Note: i never get too detailed with trauma/bad childhood related content because i want my readers to feel free with whatever they're facing. i hope that anyone reading this fic for comfort has a wonderful day. I'm happy you're still pushing despite everything that's happened.

To be fair, he hadn't even thought of it. Never crossed his mind, not even once.

It was 1 AM now; way past his bedtime, way past his much needed rest for an early morning and he hadn't even tried closing his eyes. For once in his life, he was left wondering.

His life was filled with praise and ego, to be his lover would mean being able to put up with him and giving him praise when he actually deserved it. He didn't need half-assed compliments or someone on his hands and feet -- he needed someone to see him grow by himself.

You see, it hadn't crossed his mind that you were in a dark place in the past or present. You were strong in your own way and he saw it as a powerful trait of yours. You wanted to be a hero just like him but not because you wanted to prove your worth, you just wanted to save those who couldn't protect themselves.

"Katsuki! Right hook, then left!" You'd yell during your spar sessions. He takes your advice seriously, knowing you wanted him to improve just as much as he does for you.

"Fuckin' idiot," He mumbled in the darkness. You seemed so fine with it too, laughed about whatever happened as if it wasnt a huge part of who you were now. You talked like it was the weather, mundane and nothing crucial.

Could people smile after that? You did. It was scary to him how used to the life you were. You must've been scared, who wouldn't be?

"Katsuki, I have something to tell you," You said right before his bedtime, around 7 maybe. He was confused why you didn't just walk up and strike a conversation with him like usual.

Must be serious, he had thought and damn was it serious.

On the balcony, under the dark sky with a faraway look in your eyes. You didn't even turn to him once, just went on and on; one story after another. Sometimes you'd laugh like it was funny.

It wasn't funny, he was mortified and worried -- rendered him speechless to a point that his body came to a standstill.

You're a good person, he knew that most. You were someone that shone brighter than his classmates, that was why he chose you to be his partner at first.

"You must be freaked out, huh," You stated, finally turning to meet his worried eyes with a smile. "I don't blame you, it's a lot to take in."

"I trust you a lot and I just wanted you to know what you're getting yourself into when you're with me, so take your time. I'll wait for you."

Is he feeling bad right now? What was he feeling bad for? That you had a horrible life? He hated pitying people but he couldn't help but worry for you.

Also, what did you mean by 'take your time'? Had you thought Bakugou Katsuki, Lord Explosion Murder and soon-to-be Dynamight, was going to run away the second you told him?

If anything he just wanted to hug you right now, but he missed his chance when it reached midnight. Now he's going to accept the consequences of shock by not getting a good night's rest like he intended.

This bothered him.

How were you sleeping right now?

Just as the thought crossed his mind, he was out the door. Midnight, shoeless feet, his plain black shirt and sweats, he walked down the corridor to your door and was tempted to knock.

What if he was bothering your rest? He didn't want that, not after the conversation you both had. He turned on his heel and was met face-to-face with his teacher's pet cat who wandered the dorms at night to check on students, it stared straight at his soul and kinda creeped him out.

He put a finger to his lips, trying to shush it from making any possible noise but it harnessed the loudest cat-like screech he's heard. Bakugou jumped when he heard your door creak open, turning as quick as he could to see you.

"Katsuki? What are you doing here at night? 's like...," You trailed off, looking back into your room for your clock. "1:37 AM. It's way past your bedtime."

"U-Uh yeah, sorry. Just wanted to check on you," He mumbled the last bit, shooing you with his hand. "Go back to sleep, I'll talk to ya in the morning."

It was silent for a moment and you sighed, reaching out to grab his retreating hand and pulling him into your room.

"What? Hey! This isn't allowed!" He scolded you, tapping your hand on his. He was grateful it was dark enough to hide the growing warmth on his cheeks.

"Not like it matters, it's almost 2 AM. Don't want you to go to class tired," You mumbled with a yawn. You pulled him to your bed, gesturing him to rest on top of your shoulder as you laid there waiting.

He hesitantly sits down and curls to your side, your hand playing with his soft yet spiky hair. Bakugou relaxes and focuses on your deep breaths.

"What's wrong?" You asked, eyes closed. "Rare t'see you staying up so late. Can't sleep?"

He shakes his head. "Just thinking about you."

"Awww, how sweet~," You whispered with a giggle. "What were you thinking about?"

Bakugou stares at you before grunting.

"Drop the act. I saw your puffy eyes the second you came out of your room," He snarls, sitting up and looking down at you. "Don't do that in front of me."

You frowned for a moment and smiled again, hand reaching up and caressing his cheek. It was always so soft and clear, probably from the quirk he inherited from his mother.

"Can't help it. Got used to it, hun," You told him. "Not like I could sleep either, cried 'til I could. Kinda worked until I heard Mr Aizawa's cat screeching."

Bakugou cringed with his eyes closed. "Sorry."

"No problem, I like his cat," You answered. It was silent again. "Do you think I'm pitiful?"

"No," He answered. "If you're looking for pity, you're dating the wrong guy."

Chuckling, you nodded. "Must be dating the right one then."

You sat up just slightly, kissing his chin. It was the most you could do in the position, and he didn't seem like the type to budge. He grabs your cheek and kisses your forehead.

"Whatever happened, happened. Just because you told me, doesn't mean my impression of you changed. You just...," He trailed off. "... Showed me how you need to be treated, the best of the best."

"You're a better fit for a hero than any extra. Trust me," He stated firmly. Tears welled up in your eyes and you smiled wobbily.

"Damn it, you Katsudon! I just finished crying too," You muttered, rubbing your eyes as you let the tears cascade down your cheeks. He smiles at your reaction, leaning in to kiss you on the lips gently and choosing not to point out the ridiculous pet name you gave him.

"From now on, tell me everything. What makes you uncomfortable, happy, and how I can make you feel better," He ruffles your hair. "I love you, idiot. You're stuck with me."

More tears fell from your eyes. He waited for your smile to come and his heart grew warm again.

"Thank you, Suki. I love you too." You laughed.

♡︎ literate-simp