#it actually made 0 sense in the script if you read it

[corviiids]

customary sparknotes for chapter 10

nobody asked this time i just got shit to say. don't read this post unless you've read chapter 10 of my akechi palace au fic "as you like it" because it will make 0 sense forever. here we go

the code for this part took way longer than i want to admit for it being so simple because it just kept breaking in really stupid ways and then it didn't work on mobile. it's fine. it's fine now. tell me if it's broken. don't tell me

i had this dream sequence part drafted back when i posted chapter 9. the thing that took so long was the action sequence, which is ALWAYS the thing that takes so long. i finished my first draft of this chapter about a month ago sitting in a hotel bar, and i got it to where it is now a few days ago sitting in the same hotel bar, so, thanks to that hotel bar and its fantastic jalapeno cocktail and very patient staff for sponsoring this chapter. not sponsoring actually the cocktails are expensive i sponsored myself. anyway

end of dumb preamble? beginning of dumb amble

this first bit takes place in ren's mind as a dream sequence after he gets hit with the sleep effect, basically. parts of it are laid out in a sort of mockup of a stageplay script, although obviously this isn't how you'd write a real script haha. i wanted to play with, like... akechi's palace is a theatre, but he and ren have a lot in common. in his own way, ren is a performer, too.

the scenes with the phantom thieves are all in past tense, which is how the flashbacks in this fic have been written. the recurring motif is how the phantom thieves interact with ren, mostly via his glasses, generally along the theme of how they see him. i didn't really make this explicit, but in all of these scenes, none of the thieves look him directly in the eye.

in the game, ren usually has two or three dialogue options. his narration in this moments are the options he didn't choose. he always chooses the one which is the least direct and the most deflective, because in these moments he is feeling vulnerable and being honest is too overwhelming. by the way, "don't look at me like that" is text that appears in one of p5's menus:

which i just find interesting.

the scenes with akechi, by contrast, are told in present tense. they're also rife with unreality. the setting changes as though it's a dream, which of course it is. it's unclear whether these scenes are an amalgam of things that happened that ren is mixing and remembering oddly, or if he's conjured them.

ok let's look at the script scenes as well. they're basically all retellings of ren's run-in with shido.

the idea is that in tokyo, ren spends a lot of time lying in bed replaying those moments in his head, wondering how else it could have gone. no matter how many times he plays it out, no matter how he thinks about regretting what he did, walking away, making a different call,

he always makes the same choice.

do you ever think about how disproportionate that trumped up assault charge was? ren, frustrated and bitter, has to wonder - if he was just going to get pulled up on assault anyway, what difference would it have made if he'd actually just fucking done it? at least gotten to do the thing he got busted for. for catharsis, or whatever.

unlike the phantom thieves, akechi DOES look ren in the eye

he doesn't let ren get away with dodging his questions, and he repeatedly asks ren what he actually thinks

and with akechi, ren is able to say what he's really thinking.

ok now the rest of the amble

i love writing a fic which has akechi's name plastered all over it and then repeatedly going SURPRISE! this is about ren. it's about ren.

ren's been really struggling with this whole hero thing a lot. i think this battle is where it really comes to a head, because all the shit akechi was giving him in the last chapter about the ethics of stealing a heart is really getting to him. he's wondering whether he's really doing this for akechi or if it's for his own satisfaction, plus the burden of being the leader of the phantom thieves weighs heavier and heavier because if he's not doing this for akechi then that means he's doing it for himself, which means he can't play this as self-sacrificial or selfless, which means his team is putting themselves at risk for him. he's disoriented and he gets put out of commission for his trouble, which just puts his team further at risk while he spirals and tries to do right by everyone. it's a chance for the phantom thieves to step up and save him - as their friend, not their leader. i love the phantom thieves and their dorky power of friendship.

i also really liked coming up with cognitive joker. the idea of the VIP Box being inhabited solely by shido and joker was super fun to me. shido is gone from akechi's cognition, which begs the question of why the box still exists if it was allegedly only there to seat the VIP, the person at the centre of akechi's struggles - obviously it's because the distortion has grown far beyond shido, who is no longer the only person akechi performs for. joker isn't there as a guest. he broke in, and he's unkillable. by the way, his hair is based on the persona super live key art from 2019:

look at his swoopy hair. isn't he cute? i wanna squish his cheeks.

how about that awakening

okay, here's a fun fact about the fucking awakening. here's a FEW fun facts.

1. i came up with the idea of fusing robin hood and loki into a third persona before i had even published chapter 1 (way back in 2019), which means i had that idea long before persona 5 royal was ever announced.

when p5r's marketing started up and was like "we're gonna fuse everyone's first and second personae for a third persona!" i was like (throws a chair at the wall)

2. my first idea for the third persona, back at that point, was for akechi's third persona to be adraestia. she was a greek goddess who later became identified with nemesis/rhamnousia, the goddess of retribution for hubris.

then fire emblem three houses came out, and i realised adraestia was only going to call to mind the black eagles. lol. i was like ok, that's fine, it doesn't really matter, and if it bothers me a lot, i can switch to naming her rhamnousia or something.

then THIS YEAR, i decided to check whether nemesis/rhamnousia existed in smt lore as a shadow already. and as it turns OUT, i had forgotten a VERY KEY FACT ABOUT PERSONA 3.

SHE'S TAKEN. BY A DIFFERENT JUSTICE KID. so i had to change tacks again.

this really left me floundering for a second i gotta say. and then i remembered that last year, i'd written a scene in a fit of pure self-indulgence in which akechi starts telling ren all about the iliad. (this scene appears in chapter 8.) when i wrote that scene, i hadn't really been thinking that hard about how it was going to affect the plot. i just thought achilles and akechi had some interesting similarities, and also, i wanted to talk about the iliad, so i wrote the scene and figured i could cut it if it stuck out too much. anyway, i remembered that scene and was like, holy shit hang on, i have an entire thing already set up for a mythological figure who represents akechi's soul. and it actually works way better than rhamnousia, whose connection with akechi's struggle here is pretty surface-level in comparison. here's a line from my planning doc:

pretty cool how in royal he literally does have twin fates: short and blazing or long and unremarkable

so that's how akhilleus became akechi's third persona. wow! what a happy accident! i mean im a genius and it was all planned from the start obviously. it just goes to show that sometimes you go on a stupid little infodump and it ends up solving a plot problem you didn't foresee an entire year later. fixation works.

akhilleus himself is really cool to me. if i had a persona, achilles would be mine, so i hope akechi fucking appreciates that i've donated him to the goro akechi cause. idk if any artists are keen on doing character designs for personae but of the suite of art i daydream about commissioning for this fic, key art for akhilleus is definitely up there. the woman hovering behind him is his mother, obviously - and akechi's.

this other thing

i also just wanted to mention this

i usually don't outline or plan fics very well, as you can probably fucking tell from the above. im just really short sighted when it comes to outlines and i usually can't see more than a few chapters in advance except for either vague shapes or VERY SPECIFIC SCENES, so doing this kind of intricate planning is a real challenge for me.

the goho-m thing is such a small detail, but im really pleased with it just because it is one of the things i actually did very deliberately plan and set up in advance. it first appears in chapter 6 when ren and makoto go to the zoo - ren gives all his goho-ms to makoto as a show of trust, to demonstrate that he trusts her to get him and their friends home safely after they resolve his fear and resentment for her plan almost getting him killed. i did that to wrap makoto's arc, but it also served a very important plot purpose in chapter 8: ren is stranded in the courtyard with akechi's "shadow" self, and he has no easy way of getting out of the palace because he gave all of his goho-ms to queen. oh no, ren trusted his friends so much it's gonna get him killed. unless?

(this is a plot hole p5 the game just never bothers to fill or else they wouldn't get dramatic anime scenes of the phantom thieves sprinting out of the palaces as they explode and im at peace with that but i still think it's funny and also i wanted to fill the plot hole myself.)

so then it finally gets to come back in chapter 10, when ren finally falls from being their fearless heroic leader and gives his friends a chance to step up and save him for once. makoto still has the goho-ms, and when ren is occupied and out of commission, she steps up and saves them like he trusted her to do. guys! i planned something that spanned five whole chapters. wow! wow i did it.

LONG POST. VERy LONG POST. god. HEY this is it the palace is destroyed. there are still two chapters to go and a lot left to get through, but palace-wise this was the climax, which is why it took so god damn long because it's terrifying to write something so pivotal. but thank you so much for reading the fic! and this if you read it! i wrote this mostly for me again. but if you read it i love you.

[sapphire-weapon]

okay wow thanks for the explanation on the suppressant. i didn't know it was written that long ago. and how did you find it that quick anyway?

but also, do you think the writers intended it to be read that way? i know RE4R's story is good, but for the writers to be so subtle about it, they gotta be amazing at writing and delivering and i dont think anybody who writes the story for RE is at that level yet.

it's not that i dont want to believe in that take, but i also read ur post about how u dont apply "death of the author" and i just think "do the writers actually think like this? it wouldn't wrong for us to think this way but do they think of it like that?"

so i found it quickly because it's in my meta analysis tag. i'm very careful with that tag and only use it for posts that i think raise important points that i might want to reference later. this was one of them.

and i actually love the second part of this ask.

i don't personally feel that RE4make's writing is that sophisticated. it's sophisticated for RE -- but there are so many other games that have such better storytelling. SH2, spec ops: the line, hades, alan wake, disco elysium -- just off the top of my head -- are so rich in storytelling and so creative with how they convey it. even the evil within -- which was also a mikami game -- had an incredibly dense story that took effort and grit to fully unpack.

literally all that hirabayashi did with RE4make was hear mikami's pleas to fix the story, look at it, go "how can i do this without fucking up the gameplay loop or structure?" and decide that the easiest way to do it was by putting an emotional throughline in the game centered on leon and ashley's relationship -- which made sense to do, because that also lines up with the gameplay contrivance that the game is centered on.

he's also been working on RE since 0, so he's intimately familiar with these characters and the possibilities they hold. he was RE6's producer, so he knows that suicidal ideation is a part of leon's character -- just as an example. because it's in RE6 that leon admits to having been suicidal in the past.

we also know that he loves fairy tales. he wrote RE5's script, and RE5 is a modern horror fairy tale. sheva even has an alternate costume literally called "fairy tale." and, at its core, RE4 has the basic plot of a classic fairy tale. the Hero storms the castle, slays the Dragon, and saves the Princess. it's so easy to convert that into a more Proper fairy tale by tweaking the relationship between leon and ashley.

and the romance tropes and references he uses are very rudimentary. like, if you look at my posts, it's like... romeo & juliet and sleeping beauty. this is hardly a romance aficionado's deep dive into the romance genre.

RE4make is babby's first step into deeper storytelling in the video games medium.

so i really don't think that it's a stretch to say that this was his intention.

if you want to be really anal and pedantic about it, you can say that his intention was to make the story into something coherent and fluid, and the romance just happened to be a byproduct of that because that was the easiest thing he could reach for, but like.

to use the structure of romance stories and to consistently follow the imagery and symbolism and references of classic romances -- his reason for doing it doesn't matter. the fact remains that he did it on purpose, and it's reflected in the final product, and so that's what the story is.

i said this in another post, so i'll just paste it here:

So, sure. You could look at RE4make as a story about a man who’s just doing his job and saves the president’s daughter because idk he’s a badass and that’s just what he does. And he overcomes his trauma about Raccoon City because he actually saved a person’s life finally, and it wouldn’t have mattered who it was; it just happened to be Ashley. Sure. You could. But you miss the fucking point of what the storyteller(s) were trying to do. You miss the intention of the developers paying homage to RE4OG being such a huge part of so many people’s childhoods by turning the story into a fairy tale. You miss the parallels of Leon becoming a broken husk of a person because of failing re: Ada, and Leon finding his smile and his kindness again through Ashley. It leaves you with a shallow story where shit just kind of happens and Leon’s a cool dude who overcomes the odds all on his own because he’s so cool and strong. And you’ll never be able to convince me that that’s how the devs wanted their story to be read. Not with the deliberate layering of themes and imagery and allegory that they’ve folded into the narrative. And you’ll never convince me that all of this was just a coincidence, either.

[jellybeanium124]

actually you know what the more I think about that taika cameo in that shitty simpsons episode the more pissed I get. because taika and the simpsons could be so fucking good. like, early simpsons, and I mean early early, like s1-3, and taika waititi movies are like, in the same family. super early simpsons have this sort of slowness to it, this reality, this mundanity. the family struggles financially compared to the inexplicably financially comfortable simpsons of today. there's a lot more focus on childhood stories. "lisa's substitute" could be a taika waititi movie. so could "moaning lisa." "three men and a comic book," even.

and lisa? lisa would be the ideal taika protagonist. not the pop-culture-worshipping holier-than-thou-ing, zombified little-miss-know-it-all of the HD era, the real lisa simpson. this 8 year old girl who's sensitive and smart, but still a child. her father's a drunk and her mother, a kind, beautiful soul, and brilliant painter, had all her hopes and dreams crushed and remolded into homemaking and child-raising.

give! me! a! simpsons! episode! where! lisa has to come to terms with the real world at the tender age of 8!!!!

I mean like, I understand that they probably can't just let taika guest write an episode of the simpsons. or direct. directing an animated project is going to be super different from directing a life-action one anyways, who knows if he'd want to.

but the simpsons has done clever and thoughtful homages before, even recently with "barthood" (released 2015, fuck that's 9 years ago). they could've done an homage. they could've parodied his style. they could've made something thoughtful. homer and lisa stories have been some of the most touching stories on the show. or, they could've just focused on the kids and done a bart and lisa story.

but they didn't do any of that. they didn't write anything thoughtful, or creative, or even good. they wrote drivel, and racist drivel at that, with two jokes around the asian-caricature character kumiko that were genuinely painful to sit through (and this show has a history of being racist towards asian characters).

they wrote taika as a hyperactive egomaniac with no attention span and gave him 0 direction. his performance in this episode is undoubtably the worst acting performance I've ever seen from him. and like, you know, not all actors are cut out to voice act, but I don't think that's the problem here. I think the problem here is that taika read a shitty script, and it was season 35 of the simpsons so who gives a flying fuck, and he read the lines because this was a paycheck. why bother giving this project effort if nobody else was putting any effort into it either? why bother giving this project effort when they write you as the worst version of yourself, a persona that probably gives you a sense of comfort and control when you're choosing to do it, but probably doesn't feel that great when writers who don't know or care about you write it for you.

and, to be clear, I don't mind that he's the villain of the episode, or even that he wasn't written exactly as himself. like, of course it should be a persona of him on the simpsons. all celebs get a simpsons persona when they guest star as themselves. I think I just hate the fact that it's pushing a narrative that he's a shitty guy that's similar enough to his real life persona at a time where people are violently attacking him for no damn good reason. and the fact that it's poorly written with no love or care for anything. not taika, not the simpsons, not tv, not art, not anything.

[alolanroy]

2024 Watch Thread-Part 3

Part 2: https://www.tumblr.com/alolanroy/743462089395470336/2024-watch-thread-part-2?source=share

Lensman (anime): Sometimes lost media is bad. I'm glad it was found, but it still wasn't good 3/10

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes: It got a few sensible chuckles out of us, but I'm glad they figured out how to make comedies funny after this. 5/10

Zombie vs Ninja (aka The Undertaker of Sohwa Provence). A South Korean parody of Chinese Kung-fu movies billed as ninjas for the US market. Imagine a turducken if every layer was racism. -5/10

Star Wars Jedi: Survivor: While my PC and Unreal were fighting for their lives, this janky game blew me away. Rarely do we get sequels that truly feel iterative, let alone head and shoulders better than their predecessors. It continually fed me new toys and mechanical twists. I think I'll remember this as both a fun action game and as an outstanding metroidvania. It made me remember that I liked Star Wars, and for that I am thankful. 9/10

Protodoid Delta: I see what they are trying to do here, but it just wasn't fun. just a lot of generic platforming and combat that didn't feel right. Weak buster shots and a three-hit melee I didn't find reliable do not a combat system make. 3/10

Blades: Not quite funny enough for the comedic premise, but for my friends who hadn't seen jaws, it still was enough of a thriller to hold their interests -5/10

Monster Squad: I feel like if this came out when I was a kid, this would have been my favorite movie of all time. The fun monster madness and tone was almost enough to distract me from how the horrible pan'n'scan always found a way to crop out the black buddy-cop, even when he was the one speaking. 7/10

Star Wars The Bad Batch: In all fairness, I stopped only a few episodes in, but this just felt like Dave Filloni playing with his action figures. No real tension, just a parade of his OCs talking to each other, mostly with the same voice. I don't really care to find out if it gets better, because all I've seen is people get excited that more characters from Clone Wars show up. I want a good show, not reminders of a good show. 4/10

Goldeneye: I'm glad Bond isn't quite as brutish with women as the franchise was historically, but while watching it with someone who had never seen a Bond movie before, it occurred to me how strange this movie is without the context it is trying to respond to. 6/10

Battle Star Wars: There wasn't much battle or wars in this one. The stars were allright, but I would've preferred maybe some different hallways or a second hill in the California desert. Hell, I think a second jpeg of the Earth might've gone along way. Besides one of the most funny-bad costumes I've ever seen, this was utterly forgettable. -2/10

Gundam Seed Freedom: This might actually be the most frustrating movie I have ever seen. It made me so mad that I, no joke, walked out to the lobby and stared at an arcade machine to cool off. The writing on display is insanely bad. The first half hour is a sequence of scenes where characters state their thoughts and exposit about a fanfiction-tier plot that barely makes sense. If you liked the cuck arc from Seed Destiny, you will love this movie. It doubles down on the concentric melodrama to a point where everyone has to just be cartoonishly mean-spirited and has the same ending as Destiny, down to the macguffin. 0/10

The Intruder (1962): The day of Roger Corman's passing, this film came up a few times. I took a chance and within a minute and a half I knew this would be a winner. I've never seen a film more quickly and elegantly set up that a character might as well be the devil. Shatner is absolutely fucking evil in this role and it is GREAT. The more I read about this film the more ballsy I realize it was. allegedly this was filmed using mostly actual locals given a watered-down script. All those teens actually went through integration the year before. absolutely wild. 10/10

The Last Man on Earth (1964): Wow, I can't belive that Will Smith Movie 'I am Legend' ripped this off. *Checks Wikipedia* Oh. 7/10

Vikingdom: When people say that a movie feels like a videogame, Ithink this is what they should mean. I would describe it as Jason and the Argonauts by way of a ps3 action game. Cheap as hell, but willing to go hard at random intervals. Shoutout to the sequence in the land of the dead. 6/10

The Cat Who Wore Sunglasses: I'm no expert on Czec new wave cinema, but I think that this was pretty neat. However, I'm not sure that it really fit the mood of a Costco Pizza movie night. 7/10

Dragonball: The Magic Begins: This movie is a laugh-riot mix of good wuxia action and bursts of some laughable CG...until it slows to a crawl at Kame House for like and hour and kills all its energy. The remaster they had on Amazon was gorgeous, but uncanny since these movies aren't usually accessible in any quality. The funniest takeaway was that the production interpreted anime hair as an 80s hong kong action lady perm, so Goku ended up looking a little they/them. -7/10

Blood of Zeus Season 2: I feel as though I can't speak for it much since this is clearly part 1 of a two part story, but it certainly is cut from the Castlevania mold. It does have better forward momentum than its predecessors, but the main party feels almost auxiliary to the other plotlines. I kinda forgot what they were supposed to be doing. 6/10

Everyone is in LA: I don't think the first batch of guests really grabbed me. If this ever got the chance to 'get good' they might be on to something. 4/10

Teldryn Serious: I get what they were going for, but it didn't really work for me. On the literal side, the quest objectives for the last third broke for me. Otherwise, I felt kind of confused because I guessed what was going on before I was supposed to, so I wasn't sure why the story hadn't caught up. 4/10

The Fall of the House of Usher: I think a lot of Japanese RPGMaker and VNs owe Poe and Corman money. Entertaining, but not mind-blowing 7/10

A.D. Police: It had some real cool energy and episodes, but its sure...uh... ended. 7/10

Gundam Twilight Axis: This is a prime example of the cutoff point between a series of scenes and a story 3/10

Skyrim-Mirai: I won't judge this too harshly since I really do feel teenage wish-fulfilment radiating off of this mod. When it clicked for me that Mirai has essentially the same narrative as Serana, and the romance post-game is longer than her main quest...I knew I had to meet it it's level. Not sure I like her ambiguous age, but I chalk it up to harmless fanfiction cringe. 6/10

Jiu Jitsu: With a little editing, this could have been an all-timer martial arts vs. predator mashup movie with a cool alien costume. Nick Cage is in it for a surprising amount and the martial arts is shot pretty fun. Sadly the movie as it exists starts off poorly and gives the impression that the movie is less ambitious than it might actually be. As a result I tuned out for the first half. 4/10

Dick Tracey: The funny makeup and production design does its best, but the awful pacing kneecaps the flow it has at the start. 4/10

Year One: uuugh -3/10

Wizards of the Lost Kingdom: We really had to make our own fun on this one. Except that gnomes, those were great -4/10

Jack-Of-All-Trades!? A Day in the Life of Master Micchi: The geats cast really is at its best once the series is over. These characters are just funny to follow around without the end of the world looming. 5/10

Kamen Rider Geats: 4 Aces and the Black Fox: This would have scored a full point higher if the main villains weren't a greasy discord mod/discord kitten pair that just did not fit the sick recolor of Geats 9. The brief pre-production view of Gotchard made me sad about what we ended up getting. 5.5/10

Kamen Rider The Winter Movie: Gotchard & Geats Strongest Chemy★Great Gotcha Operation: I know getting turned into a marketable plushie is a meme and all, but this was hilarious. Until it turns into a generic Rider movie in the last third, the puppets are funny as hell and the Geats cast shines so well against the mildness of the chemies. 6/10

[mrsbsmooth]

Scripts - S7 - Episode 19 (Vicky)

Daybeds & Breakfast with Vicky

Vicky Route

You make your way outside with {0} and over to the daybeds.

{0}_FLIRTY: It’s such a perfect night!

PLAYER_HAPPY: It’s a beautiful evening.

VICKY_FLIRTY: And the two most beautiful girls in the villa are spending it together.

VICKY_FLIRTY: It makes total sense.

Flirt back

PLAYER_FLIRTY: So you think I’m beautiful?

VICKY_FLIRTY: You are stunning.

VICKY_FLIRTY: And, so am I.

VICKY_FLIRTY: It’s why we make such a good couple.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Confidence looks good on you.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: And I can’t help but agree.

Play it cool

PLAYER_HAPPY: I see you’ve got your full charm on, Vicky.

VICKY_FLIRTY: Always for you, {0}.

VICKY_FLIRTY: It seems to me like it’s working.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Only time will tell.

VICKY_HAPPY: That’s definitely something worth waiting for!

Friendly response

PLAYER_HAPPY: I’m glad to be out here with you, Vicky.

VICKY_HAPPY: Me too, {0}. I’m feeling pretty lucky right now.

PLAYER_HAPPY: You’re really fun to be around.

VICKY_HAPPY: You’ve got the most charm in the villa by a long way.

VICKY_HAPPY: I think we’ve got a fun night ahead.

Go deep

PLAYER_HAPPY: I’m really glad to be out here with you, Vicky.

PLAYER_HAPPY: It’s super special to be spending this evening with you.

VICKY_HAPPY: Back at you, {0}.

VICKY_HAPPY: I want to get to know you better.

PLAYER_HAPPY: We should make the most of every second.

VICKY_HAPPY: I can’t believe we’ve only known each other a couple of days.

VICKY_HAPPY: It feels like longer.

PLAYER_HAPPY: I know! It’s been so exciting.

VICKY_HAPPY: I’m a big fan of this stage.

PLAYER_HAPPY: What stage is that?

VICKY_FLIRTY: The first bit of getting to know someone.

VICKY_FLIRTY: I love all the adrenaline, learning unexpected things about each other.

VICKY_FLIRTY: It’s the best part!

VICKY_FLIRTY: What’s your favourite stage?

Definitely the first part

PLAYER_HAPPY: I love the first part too.

PLAYER_HAPPY: So much passion and excitement.

VICKY_FLIRTY: It’s the best!

VICKY_FLIRTY: Getting to know what each other’s likes…

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Do you know what I like, Vicky?

VICKY_FLIRTY: I think I’m figuring it out.

Being fully comfortable

PLAYER_HAPPY: I like it when you’re fully comfortable with each other.

VICKY_HAPPY: How long do you think that takes?

PLAYER_HAPPY: I think it depends who you’re with.

VICKY_HAPPY: Hmm. And you mean like, when you can burp in front of each other?

PLAYER_HAPPY: You’re gross.

VICKY_HAPPY: You know I’m right.

Meeting the family

PLAYER_HAPPY: I like it when it gets properly serious.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Meeting the family stage.

VICKY_SURPRISED: Wow, no way?!

VICKY_HAPPY: Actually, I can see that for you.

VICKY_FLIRTY: I bet you do really well with the parents.

PLAYER_HAPPY: I do alright.

Becoming official on socials

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Hard launching on socials of course.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I love reading all the cute comments.

VICKY_FLIRTY: Yeah! Feel like a celeb.

VICKY_FLIRTY: Plus it’s nice to move to the next stage.

VICKY_FLIRTY: Show everyone how happy we are together.

VICKY_IDLE: Well even in this early stage…

VICKY_HAPPY: I had to make my intentions known at the last coupling.

PLAYER_SURPRISED: You definitely did that.

PLAYER_HAPPY: How are you feeling about the decision now?

VICKY_FLIRTY: I stand by it.

VICKY_FLIRTY: Best decision I’ve made so far.

VICKY_FLIRTY: Are you glad I picked you?

Very pleased

PLAYER_FLIRTY: It was a very good outcome for me.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I was very pleased.

VICKY_FLIRTY: That’s convenient, because I aim to please.

VICKY_FLIRTY: Especially when it comes to you, {0}.

I’d rather choose for myself

PLAYER_IDLE: I’d probably rather have chosen for myself.

PLAYER_IDLE: I like being in control of my love life.

VICKY_IDLE: That’s totally fair.

VICKY_FLIRTY: But can you blame me?

VICKY_FLIRTY: I knew that I would have some serious competition!

PLAYER_FLIRTY: That’s sweet of you to say, Vicky.

I’m still deciding

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I’m still working that out.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: It’s only been a couple of days. I like to take my time.

VICKY_FLIRTY: Hopefully I can speed up that decision.

VICKY_FLIRTY: I think tonight might give me that chance.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Do you now?

Vicky turns to you with a glint in her eye.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Do you have something else to ask me?

VICKY_FLIRTY: Now you mention it, I was just wondering…

VICKY_FLIRTY: How would you like to spend the rest of our night together?

I want to go all the way with you

You shoot Vicky a romantic smile.

VICKY_FLIRTY: You’re really getting me excited with that look, {0}.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Vicky, I’d like to go all the way with you.

Vicky bites her lip.

VICKY_FLIRTY: Oh I think we can make that happen.

Vicky smiles as she leans in to kiss you.

She starts softly, before building up the pressure.

She parts your lips with hers.

Your hands explore Vicky’s body as she kisses down your neck.

You remove each other's clothes at the same time, letting your bodies press against each other.

She runs her fingers all over your naked body, sending tingles of pleasure down your spine.

Her hands continue softly moving over your body.

You explore each other's bodies at the same time, both moving rhythmically.

She works her way down your body with her lips. Until she finds the perfect spot.

You run your fingers through her hair as your body ripples with electricity.

You both fall back onto the bed, out of breath.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: That was amazing.

VICKY_FLIRTY: I know.

You give Vicky a playful shove.

You snuggle into Vicky in the little spoon position and she puts her soft arms around you.

You both fall asleep under the twinkling stars.

We could do some bits

You shoot Vicky a cheeky smile.

VICKY_FLIRTY: You’re getting me excited with that look, {0}.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: I was thinking that we could do some bits…

Vicky bites her lip.

VICKY_FLIRTY: Oh I think we can make that happen.

Vicky smiles as she leans in to kiss you.

She starts softly, before building up the pressure.

She parts your lips with hers.

Your hands explore Vicky’s body as she kisses down your neck.

She runs her fingers under your bra, making you squirm with pleasure.

Her hand continues running down your body.

She expertly works her fingers, your pleasure building and building.

Finally, a rush of electricity spreads through your body.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: That was amazing.

VICKY_FLIRTY: I know.

You give Vicky a playful shove.

You snuggle into Vicky in the little spoon position and she puts her soft arms around you.

You both fall asleep under the twinkling stars.

How about a cheeky kiss?

PLAYER_FLIRTY: How about a cheeky kiss before we go to sleep?

VICKY_FLIRTY: Sounds perfect.

She closes her eyes and leans in as you kiss her.

Softly at first, your lips gently touch as she caresses your cheek.

You part for a brief moment before being drawn back into the kiss.

It’s hungrier now, full of want and passion. She holds you tight and you feel like you are one.

The moment feels like forever until she pulls away, smiling.

VICKY_FLIRTY: That never gets old. Every time feels like the first.

You snuggle into Vicky’s arms.

And gradually you both fall asleep under the twinkling stars.

Let’s cuddle and sleep under the stars

PLAYER_HAPPY: I’d really like to fall asleep under the stars in your arms.

VICKY_HAPPY: That sounds dreamy.

You snuggle into Vicky in the little spoon position and she puts her soft arms around you.

She strokes your hair and you exchange happy, romantic looks.

Comfortable and happy, you both fall asleep under the twinkling stars.

Go straight to sleep

PLAYER_HAPPY: I’m ready to fall straight to sleep.

PLAYER_HAPPY: No cuddling tonight.

{0}_IDLE: Fair enough.

You settle into the daybed and within seconds both fall asleep under the twinkling stars.

You wake up from a blissful sleep and open your eyes to another gorgeous day in the villa.

{0}_HAPPY: Good morning.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Good morning, {0}.

PLAYER_HAPPY: How did you sleep?

VICKY_HAPPY: You’re a very good sleeping partner.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Wow, that’s high praise.

VICKY_FLIRTY: I fell into a very deep sleep after our… activities.

VICKY_FLIRTY: I don’t think I’ll be able to stop thinking about last night.

VICKY_FLIRTY: It was incredible.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: It was definitely a night to remember.

PLAYER_HAPPY: It’s so peaceful out here.

VICKY_HAPPY: I know, it sounds like no one else is awake yet.

PLAYER_HAPPY: I doubt it’ll be long.

VICKY_HAPPY: Whilst we’ve still got time to ourselves, how about breakfast in bed?

PLAYER_HAPPY: What did you have in mind?

VICKY_HAPPY: I’ve got just the thing.

Vicky jumps up and heads over to the kitchen.

You take in the view around you, until you hear her footsteps.

She’s holding a plate of pastries and fruit.

PLAYER_HAPPY: Oh wow!

She hands you the plate and gets comfy next to you.

Give her a pastry

You break off a piece of pastry and give it to Vicky.

VICKY_FLIRTY: Now <i>this</i> I can get used to.

Ask for a pastry

PLAYER_HAPPY: Send some of that pastry this way.

VICKY_FLIRTY: I think I can manage that.

She passes the pastry to you.

PLAYER_FLIRTY: Thank you, Vicky! What a treat.

VICKY_FLIRTY: Anything for you.

Food fight!

You shoot Vicky a ‘butter wouldn’t melt’ look.

VICKY_HAPPY: It’s banging right?

You pick up some of the fruit and throw it right at her.

VICKY_SURPRISED: Oh! It’s like that is it?

Without any hesitation she grabs a handful off the plate and throws it right back at you.

You and Vicky have a mini food fight.

You carry on until the plate is empty and your stomach hurts from laughing.

VICKY_HAPPY: Let’s see if any of this is still edible.

She puts the plate back together so you can eat some of the salvaged bits.

Back to the villa

[lunathehungry]

Plot Structure Analysis for Love in the Air (so far. Spoilers to Ep 6)

Wrote this for my fave subreddit. Posting here too.

Some Notes:

1. Feel free to jump in fellow romance and writing lovers if you feel my beats are placed wrong. Haven't done this in awhile and it's a lot easier to do this on a novel than a drama series.

2. Plot breakdowns can sometimes break immersion for viewers and ruin the viewing experience because your brain starts thinking analytically and you can't just ride the story wave anymore. If this is you, don't read this, treat yourself by fully experiencing the romance. You deserve it.

3. This’ll probably be long and i'm drunk. Lets goooooo

The Romance Is The Plot

I know, I know, people might be saying “what plot does LITA even have?” But these are people who forget romance novels exist, even though the genre sells so hard that it rakes in nearly double the dollars of the next closest genre (which is crime/mystery, in case you're curious).

This is not a surprise because, especially in the west, romance novels very rarely get adapted.

Can you sense my derision at western media for looking down on romance? Because it's there.

Not all romance novels are the same, some have a lot more external plot stuff.

General format:

A Plot (aka Romance Plot) = 51% to 100%

B, C, D plot (aka everything else) = 0% to 49%

Love in the Air is like, 94% romance plot, 6% everything else. These are numbers I just made up, but I feel in my drunkenness that they are 100% correct.

So What Is A Romance Plot?

It's a character focused plot, driven by 2 (or more for poly/harem) individuals who are lacking something that they find in each other in order to achieve their HEA (Happily Ever After or Happy For Now).

This means that all the tension and excitement that comes from watching the story unfold MUST come from the character's interactions and relationship progress. Each moment builds upon the next to take another step towards their HEA. Even when a character takes a step back, like Rain does when Payu bans him from visiting, it's because something needs to change for that character before they can move on in the relationship.

If you, as a viewer, do not feel the tension between the main characters and get invested in their relationship, then you will find a heavy Romance Plot very, very boring. It's like reading a mystery, but not caring what the reveal will be. You might not connect with the characters, you prefer romance's with bigger side plots, or you just aren't into romance at all.

Love in the Air relies on Payu and Rain's relationship and their interactions to drive the story. That's the only plot available to attract viewers (except for PrapaixSky fans who diligently look for crumbs each week - my heart goes out to you all). Luckily, Boss and Noeul have great chemistry and the script has a good build up of the relationship beats.

Time To Break This Plot Into Parts

Story Theme: This is easy, it's "Love always wins" (or any variation of this). This is ALWAYS the main theme for a romance, though it doesn't have to be the ONLY theme.

I'll be using Gwen Hayes' Romancing the Beat for the beats because ICONIC.

The flashforward of the race is technically a Prologue so...skip!

PHASE 1:

Intro to Rain and Intro to Payu

These first 2 beats generally introduce the character's 'regular life' before they're disrupted by each other. However, LITA has Payu and Rain run into each other immediately when Payu changes Rain's tire. Although this is a meet cute, it's not THE Meet Cute beat. It just serves to show the difference between our characters-- Rain gets a flat, doesn't know what to do and panics, but Payu is capable and friendly enough to help a stranger. It's a tease for the relationship to come, shows there's a physical attraction component, and adds to the 'nice guy' Payu persona (with some ominous musical hints that he might not be so nice).

Switch to the classroom the next day.

Rain's External Goal is introduced here, which is to date Ple. But his Internal Need is actually stated here as well, when he's talking about Biker Guy to Sky. He wants someone who'll listen to his talking and who doesn't find his exuberance annoying.

This is brought up again later in the series, when Rain worries Payu finds him annoying after telling him not to visit anymore and also when Sky tells Rain he doesn't actually find him annoying, just determined. it's the basis of Rain's character flaw/wound/desire thing.

Here we also get an inaccurate intro to Payu, described through the eyes of Ple and Sky, he's practically perfect. There are tiny clues here that this might not be the full picture, like how no one knows what business his family owns, but otherwise it's meant to lull Rain (and us) into a false impression of Payu.

Side note: This is actually why I wish they'd left out the flashforward, so that we could have really fallen for this fakeout.

Meet Cute

This beat is actually their second meeting, at the frat party thing. We already know Rain finds Payu hot, this is where we find out it's the same for Payu. They're attracted to each other, but Rain's oblivious.

Payu: "If you're trying to seduce me, do it better next time."

Rain: Doesn't deny it while staring deeply into Payu's eyes, proceeds to hold onto his hand, and lets Payu rub him with a towel on his bed. 🌈✨🏳‍🌈

Payu: "Let me know if I'm too rough."

Rain: This is totally normal bro stuff. He's not hitting on me at all.

If you use Save The Cat to analyze story structure, the Meet Cute beat lines up with the Catalyst.

No Way 1

Rain finds out Payu is not the nice, perfect gentleman the rest of the world thinks he is. While Rain finds Payu handsome, he's not ready to face his feelings and just jump into bed with him so he hits him with a pillow, and proceeds to tell him he'd never get with him. (never ever ever).

Adhesion

This beat is Rain finding out Payu fixed up his car and didn't charge money for it. This debt is (supposedly) why Payu keeps seeking out Rain. But this is just an excuse created by Payu to stay in Rain's orbit. Anything to flirt with Rain, amirite?

This is also the section where we get the first introduction of what Payu's character desires/needs. brought up by Saifah when he says, "Then get into a serious relationship if you want to be like me." So Payu wants a serious, long term relationship, but he's been single a long time.

Payu’s a very self-aware character, since his internal and external goals are very similar, he won't have as much of a character change as Rain.

Internal Payu: Form a serious relationship with someone who welcomes the challenging demands he puts on a partner.

External Payu: Get Rain to date him and see if he's the guy who can handle it.

PHASE 2:

No Way 2

This beat is Rain kissing Payu and telling him he's going to make him fall in love with him toward the end of episode 2. I know it might sound counterintuitive for this to be a No Way beat, but here, Rain is outwardly denying his own feelings. He's going to make Payu fall in love, but not get entangled himself. Payu also plays it cool to Rain, challenging him and acting as if he's not affected by Rain, but since us viewers get to hear him talking to himself, we know better. The other 'no way' moments, like the ones that occur earlier in the university bathroom, build up to this bigger moment. They aren't the actual No Way 2 beat.

Inkling

Payu comforts Rain after he gets chewed out by the professor. This beat usually has a slight perspective shift for our characters. While we see the growing attraction throughout episode 3, it's not until this moment that Rain wonders why he went to Payu when he felt so down.

We also see a small shift in Payu. He said he wouldn't comfort Rain, but he's unable to resist and turns back to do it anyway. Payu starts taking Rain more seriously after this point and brings out a tougher challenge by banning Rain from visiting.

If you use Save The Cat to analyze story structure, this and the next couple beats line up with the Fun & Games section.

Deepening Desire

Rain decides to go all in and continue pursuing Payu, showing that he can handle school at the same time. His external goal has changed from Ple to Payu, which now matches his internal goal - a partner who listens to him talk and doesn't find him annoying. Payu has a conversation during this section with Saifah about how none of Payu's other partners have stuck around this long because of his tricks. As Rain exhibits his determination to have a relationship, Payu falls deeper and deeper.

Maybe

This is the 'getting vulnerable and opening up to each other' beat. Rain's confession in the rain to Payu and the beginning of the First Sex Scene.

Midpoint

This is pretty much just,

"Rain belongs to P'Payu now. Say it"

"Rain belongs to Payu."

And a little of the happy-morning-after before Rain takes off. It's the sweet moment before the down beats start.

PHASE 3

This is a low angst drama so all these following down beats get resolved very quickly. If this was high angst, they'd be drawn out a lot longer, some resulting in actual fights or breakups.

Inkling of Doubt

Payu shows up at Rain's, upset that he took off without telling him. Payu pulls away from Rain before it's resolved by Rain's apology. Here we get the introduction to Payu's fear (plus foreshadowing), telling Rain not to disappear on him again.

Note: I'm not sure Payu's breakup fakeout is part of this beat, but honestly, I'm not thinking about it too hard because I'm flagging, the Long Island Iced Teas are leaving my bloodstream, is this even coherent? I need a nap.

Save The Cat: Bad Guys Close In beat.

Deepening Doubt

This is where the real world starts to intrude on their relationship. Rain finds out Ple and Som🍎🍊 are after his boyfriend. He feels jealous but doesn't want to admit it to Payu. This section is also when Sky runs into our couple on their date and Payu admits he wasn't sure Rain would want to tell him about their relationship.

The movie date scene is where we get a nice visual of how each of them have satisfied their internal goals. Payu listens to Rain as he goes on nonstop about the movie and he now has the serious relationship that he wanted.

Retreat

This beat kicks off when Saifah suggests taking Rain to the race and Payu initially doesn't want to because of the rich assholes who'll attend, then covers most of the night race scenes. Rain is visibly hesitant when he's there. He's finally entering Payu's world, but is unsure of himself. He starts to realize how dangerous it might be and this becomes the foundation of his new fear revealed in the next beat. Payu lets the arrogant rich kid get under his skin. He gets upset and Rain has to coax him out of it.

Shields Up

Payu's race isn't really a romance beat, it's an external plot point that's a catalyst for this beat. Payu wants to race the rich boy jerk and Rain doesn't want him to. Since we've covered a lot of ground for Rain's character arc, it's time to introduce a new fear - fear that Payu will get hurt. Payu admits he doesn't exactly have a logical reason for the race (it's just pride/ego).

This is resolved by Rain not letting his fear get in the way of supporting Payu and Payu realizing during the race how unimportant this loser is. Sex with Rain is more important. 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Break Up

The kidnapping (sort of). This beat is PROBABLY Payu finding Rain missing. It usually involves the characters fear which, for Payu, is Rain disappearing. And for Rain, Payu getting hurt.

One interesting thing Mame has chosen to do here, that helps maintain the low angst romance style, is had them reach their internal goals early, but started slowly introducing external troubles in order to maintain tension in the back half of the drama (of PayuxRain's section). Kidnapping may not seem low angst, but within the Romance Plot structure it is because it's not an internal conflict causing them to fight/breakup. Their relationship remains solid.

What's left? Pretty much all of Phase 4.

Dark Night of the Soul

Wake up/Catharsis (Save The Cat: Break Into Three beat)

Grand Gesture (Save The Cat: Finale beat)

What Hole-hearted Looks Like

Epilogue

It looks like we have a lot of beats left for this couple, but these final ones usually happen quite quickly, sometimes even in the same scene. They all deal with overcoming your fear and the Happily Ever After. I have some ideas, but I prefer to just watch it all play out instead of solidifying my predictions. It's more fun to watch when I turn off Writer Brain.

I can't believe I wrote this all up. Love in the Air, what have you done to me?!

[wench-and-jezebel]

NCIS Reaction: Sub Rosa

Wench (@scripted-downfall) reacts [with (maybe) occasional asides by Jezebel (@typicalopposite)]

Post-episode EDIT: I’m so sorry for the person I become in this reaction, but it’s really not my fault, I swear.

BREAKING NEWS BULLETIN: SNACK UPDATE!!!  This evening’s refreshments include: apple soda and ice cream!  Ya girl’s eating healthy, for sure.

Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ Wot!? Normal snack foods 👀 le gasp Wench: 'Tis true.  But the flavors Do Not Match, btw.  I know this going in Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️ what are the flavors ma’am Wench: Well, apple soda, duh… And mint chocolate chip Jezebel: *typing* Wench: THERE IS A REASON, OKAY?! Jezebel: Meh. Not too bad. The apple soda is still not my cup of tea. ☠️ Wench: It just tastes like apple sparkling fake champagne.  The fake bubbly you can get so kids can have champagne without the alcohol?  You know what I mean? Jezebel: No ☠️ Wench: Well, anyway.  At this point, apple soda is my NCIS reaction drink.  Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️☠️ I love it Wench: So I was going to have ice cream as a dessert because I felt like it, and then I was like.  Welp.  Guess I gotta now. Jezebel: Ah post break up ice cream gorging Wench (simultaneously): I'm not sure it’s fair to stick my personal life into our reactions, but otherwise I'd make a joke about the obligatory show-and-ice-cream-post-break-up binge- Wench (after): Nope.  That’s it.  It's going in now. Jezebel: ☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️ Wench: Just to clarify for anyone reading this and possibly getting concerned: it was actually quite civil and very mutual, so there’s no actual emotional trauma involved.  Indeed, we just spent an hour chatting on the phone post-break-up and we’re still friends.  :)  Jezebel and I just do dark humor pretty regularly, so it kinda… made sense.

Okay, on to the reaction!

– – –

"Sweet cheeks," huh?

A HAZARD DIAMOND.  WAIT, JEZEBEL, PAUSE; I WANNA READ THE THING.  I know how to do the thing!!!  [lol, okay]  SO.  Crash course on reading these!  Four lil diamonds, right?  Red, blue, yellow, white?  [yes]  Red = flammability; 0 = not at all flammable.  Yellow = reactivity; 0 = very stable.  Blue = health hazard; 4 = DEADLY!!!  And white = specific hazard; I think corrosive is pretty self-explanatory aslkdfj  SO.  These vats are.  Concerning.  [Ah! 👀👀👀😂  Well I have been educated in case I ever come across these ☠️]

Please don't spill, please don't spil- WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THE CORROSIVE!!!!  [Ackkk!]

A body! WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THE DEADLY!!!!?!?!?  [Ack]

MCGEE!!!!  I HAVE HEARD SO MUCH!!!!  [He hassss arriveddddd]

Kate being mean (affectionate) to Tony... seems to be decently friendly though :)

Spilling seems to be a trend of the episode, I see.

If it's not coffee, wth is it?

HYDROFLUORIC!?!?!? ACK

Oop- sketch date with McGee?  That's how Tony flirted with Kate, just saying.  And she was trying to throw up on a crime scene too

WAIT!  GIBBS/KATE PARALLEL!!!  TONY JUST GAVE MCGEE A RULE TO FOLLOW ON HIS FIRST CASE!  LAKSDJF;LKAJFDS

McGee's so cute alskdjf  He's endearingly awkward

Tony is indeed picking on McGee, I see  [😂😂😂😂]

Abbyyyyy, my beloved  [You’re going to like ducky’s new assistant when he comes]

Maybe he just had a dolphin-tail birthmark, ever think of that?!?!  [☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️]

They're tuning out Ducky again :(

MCGEE AND TONY ARE GIVING EACH OTHER ONCE-OVERS!!!  DID YOU SEE THAT?!?!  [Yes]

Poor McGee.  He was just trying to help and Gibbs was so mean and for what :(  

[Tonyyyy enjoying this]  adsflkjadsflkj it was just seeing McGee nose-to-nose with someone and the Thoughts it brought up

"Spec-a-la-tive" is fun pronunciation

"The presence of a woman on a submarine is a tremendous inconvenience"  Buddy's sounding like Our Flag Means Death!Frenchie.  [☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️]  “Because women have crystals in their body, and the crystals attract demons, and the demons attract misfortune.”  [😂😂😂😂 Kate’s a mermaid]

Gibbs gonna go off?

Gibbs gonna go off.

Gibbs gonna go off!!!!

GIBBS GONNA GO OFF!!!!

Kate has no trust in her superior, holy hell.  And stop being a bitch to Tony to make yourself look better, holy hell.  I get she was pissed, but.  Don't tear down your team to build yourself up.

She's getting practice landing on these carriers alksdjf

[Nope.  I’ll just go sip my tea and shave my legs and not go on the submarine]

Wait.  WAIT.  This means Tony and McGee are on land together.  Buddies better work together :)

HOLD UP IS THAT AARON?!!? THAT'S AARON!!!  OMG I LOVE HIM!!! (Aaron Pierce from 24)

Betting on submarine pseudo-chicken; did I mention I love Aaron? (or whatever his name is in this) aslkdfj

Abby and Ducky, my beloveds once more

TANDOORI!  My man has good taste.  [I’ve never had it]  My woman (Jezebel) does not have good taste

[I could never.  Never.  NEVEERRRR.  Get on a submarine.]  'Cause you're scared of drowning?  Or a different-  [Have I told you I’m deathly afraid of the water?]  Ah  [Yes.  Ackkkkk]

WAIT I KNOW THIS DUDE TOO.  idk, I can’t focus on filmography rn.

I.  would (probably) not wear Abby's collar, this time.

"You getting lonely down there all by yourself, hon?"  "Oh, I'm not alone; I'm with Special Agent McGee!"

Tony jealousssss  [☠️☠️☠️☠️]  "What's she like?  She sounds cute."  "Not your type... We'll never speak of this again"  [☠️☠️☠️☠️  Shessss not your type I am]  

This episode summarized: Among Us.  NO WAIT LITERALLY; THE ACID LITERALLY LEFT BEHIND A LITTLE HUNK OF MEAT WITH BONE THO

[Well hell the last time I hyperfixated on this show I didn’t write. Lord help me]  Whoops :) 

[“Iiii gotcha Jimmy”  His drawl]  I told you I love Aaron!!!

adsflkj the lil periscope

This dude was in The Killing, I think.  And a Criminal Minds

Poor Tony

Ducky's bow tie and suspenders are adorable

He and Abby are so cute, plz

HE'S SO CUTE!  Ducky, I love you [😂😂😂😂😂]

And Abby actually listens to Ducky

Tony flirting with both the Lieutenant and McGee in the same conversation

ACK!?!?!?  PAUSEEEEEE  [😂😂😂😂😂]  "You don't need my permission to ask her a question... unless you want to ask her out on a date."  "No, sir.  Not my type."  SIR!??!?!?!

– – –

It's time for my midpoint reaction but I warn you now that my mind is swamped by one particular interaction.  Gibbs’ rudeness is forgotten; Kate’s bitchiness has been abandoned; Abby and Ducky, while cute, have been momentarily swept aside; and, in their place, only one thing remains…

TONY AND MCGEE, I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE.

*clears throat*  Sorry.  I had to say it.  Yes, this will be a trend. Yes, it will also likely be somewhat subtle since I know that’s not everyone’s ship.  But. Jezebel was right that I’d pick up on this immediately.  I will still mostly be focused on writing, characterization, and plot.  It's just.  Not my fault if the characterization is that Tony is bi as all get out.  *shrugs*  Whoops.  The once-overs.  The flirting in exactly --- exactly --- the same way Tony flirts with Kate.  The "not my type" conversations.  It's incontrovertible, I'm afraid  [😂😂😂😂  I love it]

Okay, but, back to the basics… Gibbs standing up for Kate makes me happy, and I did appreciate the continuity in him sending her out of the room to do it; for once, it’s showing that he both a) cares about his team members and b) doesn’t want to say as much in front of them, and this diminishes my previous complaints a bit.  I need to start keeping track of who writes/wrote the good episodes, tbh.  [iirc he does it for all of them at some point]  That’s good.  Wish it were more consistent, but I’m happier than I was.  [Idk when tho ☠️]

I don't know if there's much more to add, tbh.  I had so much to say and then.  Welp.  McGee.  He thwarted all of it with one once-over and a subtle euphemism alksdjf  [I think now that McGee is here you will enjoy it all a little more]  Judging by things as they stand, I do think I like him a lot.  He's rising to join the upper echelon of Tony, Abby, and Ducky, ngl.  [Because the banter between Tony and McGee is 😙👌🏼]  The “banter”?  Is that what they're calling it these days?  [😂😂]  Y'all, I'm hilarious, btw.  Just saying.  [I think McGee is the only one still on the show. Maybe ducky too. But idk]  Oof.  Is.  Is Tony dead :(  [No 🙂]  SICK

With that settled, I’m good to go on.

– – –

Tony looking impressed

THE FONDNESS IN THAT SMILE!!!  AND TONY GIVING ANOTHER ONCE-OVER!!!

Yes, Kate, that's why, keep up.  [☠️☠️☠️☠️]

“Un-hydrate”  I'm using that now

McGee, you're such a rule follower salkdjf  That's gonna change  [O-kay… McGeestiel]

ALKSDJF;LAKSDJF HE'S SO CUTE "PLAYING FOOTBALL" ALSKDFJALSKDFJA;LSKDFJ;LAKSDFJ;LAKSDFJ  I CAN'T  TONY, MY BELOVED  YOUR HAIR DID NOT SURVIVE BUT I LOVE IT

alskdjf Pause.  I.  I have so much to say.  Fuck.  The number of pauses we have to take is directly proportional to the number of interactions between Tony and McGee.  [☠️☠️☠️☠️  Yeah, I’m feeling the fics a brewing like indigestion]

I’m just.  THEY’RE SO CUTE OKAY.  I can't.  I can't verbalize this.  I'm half-hyperventilating rn because I'm laughing so hard.  [😂😂😂😂]  I had to pause because my screen was shaking too much.  [Oh also you got the first McGeek]  Yesssss!  McGee looked so endearingly confused  He even had a trench coat on, and I kept waiting for him to tilt his head in confusion  [😂😂😂😂]  I’m in danger.  Actually, I'm past in-danger.  I'm gone.  It's the end.  [NEW SHIP UNLOCKED]  I.  I can't even deny.  They're so fucking cute and it's the first episode.  [😂😂😂😂 I love it]  (To the people who haven't heard me rant about ships before, these are the conversations where my language gets about 50% more foul-mouthed.  I don't really use the f-word unless I'm really pissed or squealing over a ship.  Hint: I'm not pissed rn.)  [😂😂😂😂 isss true. Jezebel confirmed ✔️]

Thompson sus, man.  But it's just because of the characters he usually plays, I'm pretty sure.

Oof, juvie kid.  Hope his superior didn't just hear that and get angry.

COB be angry

"I make it a practice not making snap judgements"  THEY NEED TO LEARN FROM THIS IDEA

Come on, Kate; it's Gibbs.  He's aggravating

Miracles are what Abby does, duh.

HE LOOKS SO MUCH LIKE CAS  [I KNOW!  MY MIND IS DISEASED NOW!  For the people not watching, btw, McGee's crouched down in a tan trench coat in exactly the way Cas crouches.  It’s spooky similar.]

“Under the bookcase” = secret room plz

YESSSSS SECRET ROOM!!!!  SUCCESSFUL PREDICTION: ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED 

Oop- an underground activist alskdfj  How risque  *hand-to-forehead faints*

lkasdjf;lkasdjf;lkasjdflksadjflkasdjf;lkasdjf I'm sorry, but the whale video has me crying  [That whales on drugs]

Tony hovering over McGee's shoulder as he MIT-genius-types away at his computer is Dean hovering over Ash's shoulder as he MIT-genius-types away at his computer coded.  And Dean looks damn happy about Ash asking him to call him later, so.  *wink wink nudge nudge*  [😂😂😂 issss very true!!!]  (I said I'd be subtle, but I'm being about as subtle as these undertones --- er, sorry.  subtext --- have been, so.  This is fair, methinks.)  [☠️☠️☠️☠️]

For people who didn't go to college at Johns Hopkins like McGee here... Jock + Geek = romcom trope  [Yep!  Gotta love it]

[Oh look at that… The agents were right.  Also.  My.  Soul.  Would.  Be.  GONE.]

Oop.  Kate and Gibbs be a bit close.  [GIBBS!]

“Emergency Message: Drew.  End message” Take fewer words, why don't you?

Oh, shit.  [Well, shit.]  Buddy ded.  [Yep]

Dishonorably discharged for what???  I wanna knowwwww

Poor Tony.  Gibbs hung up on him :(  [Shhh he got his lickity boo]  Yer not wrong :)

I. Would not.  Go back under.  I.  Do.  Not.  Trust.

... [Take it away Wench]  NOPE.  NOPE THAT’S IT.  I’M SORRY.  I TRIED FOR SUBTLE.  BUT THEY GAVE UP ON BEING SUBTLE SO NOW I’M GIVING UP ON BEING SUBTLE BECAUSE OH MY HOLY HELL.  I’M JUST GONNA COPY THIS SCRIPT IN, WORD FOR FREAKING WORD, OKAY?!

ABBY: So what's Agent McGee like?TONY: Ah, like most newbies. Quiet, green, gullible.ABBY: Bi.TONY: I don't think so.ABBY: No, Tony, the canister. It has a bi-metal trigger.TONY: Aha. So it's turned on by either...either...what?

[And now Tony’s fumbling]  WHEN I TELL YOU.  THAT THE BREATH LEFT ME.

I was legit sitting here planning to make a quiet, subtle comment about “oh, Tony, why you acting so awkward about telling Abby what McGee’s like” or something.  (Actually, what I sent to Jezebel — right after the initial question — was "He's gonna say: 'Hot'”, and I was two seconds away from putting that joke-and-just-a-joke into the reaction and letting it go.)  And then.

AND THEN.

SIR!?!??!  HELLO!?!?!?!?!?  OH MY FUCKING GOD!?!??!  SIR WHY WAS YOUR BRAIN ON THE MAN’S SEXUALITY; PLEASE FREAKING EXPLAIN!????!?  I.  HELLO!?!?!??  WHAT?!?!?!  JUST.  lkajsd;lfkajsd;flkajsd;lfkjasd;flkjas;ldkf

Fuck.  I-  This-  I just- AHHHHH!?!?!??!

[You good over there?]  NO.  [Wait ahhh! This would be the first ship if you wrote for it’s not ooc to write them fun loving and flirty!!! Omg!!]  I KNOW!!! I FUCKING KNOW!!!  [OMG]  I- Fuck.  FUCK.  [IM SO EXCITED.  And by if I mean whennnn cause ma’am I demanddddd]  OKAY.  PROMPTS ARE OFFICIALLY BEING ACCEPTED!  [🙂]

Okay.  Okay.  I’m done, I think.  I just-  When Jezebel told me that I’d end up shipping them, I figured she meant behind the scenes.  Subtext and- and inferences and stuff.  NOT THIS.  So I needed a moment.  I’m sorry to anyone uninterested; it’s reallyyyy not my fault.  Feel free to skim past.

ON WITH THE REACTION.

Tony stuttering is so cute.

Abby: "is Agent McGee cute?"  Tony: *Avoids the question*  [Awww Abby!]

Kate.  I don't think "he was a whacko" counts as evidence.

Bro, why.  Wh- Why would you trust the random ice cream delivery?  I.  Like, making room for the body makes sense.  But also.  WHY WOULD YOU TRUST IT.

Wait, how tf do they know about the cold thing?  How did the message get through; I'm so confused?  Wouldn't they have to surface?

Also, the squishing/sloshing noise of the body is killing me

I hope the sarin being released in this way doesn't, you know, affect the ecosystem

alksjfdlkasdjf the ice cream is definitely important

Ooh, I like Gibbs' coat

– – –

This reaction here jumps to the end of the episode for the end reaction because my brain decided to error out.  Literally.  For reference, the pertinent snippet of our Discord conversation:

So, um.  To condense the end into one big reaction is difficult.  It would result in a keyboard smash.  As you can see in the photo above because, well, that’s what happened.  Let me add in the script again.

TONY: Didn't they teach you how to use email at MIT?KATE: You graduated from MIT?GIBBS: And Johns Hopkins.TONY: I didn't tell him.GIBBS: What are you doing here?MCGEE: Oh, I've, ah got a lunch date with Abby.TONY: I gotta see this. I'll take you to her.MCGEE: Thanks.TONY: Thanks what?MCGEE: Tony?TONY: Sir. I already warned you - Abby's not your type.MCGEE: Well, I'd like to find out for myself.TONY: Yeah, listen kid, ah...I don’t wanna hurt your feelings, but you're not exactly Abby's type.MCGEE: I've taken care of that. Remember that urge you were talking about? I went with Mom.KATE: I wonder what he said to make Tony speechless.GIBBS: He told him he got a tat on his ass.

I- AH?!!?  I just.

Look.

Tony teasing McGee about his resume.  Tony going, “I didn’t tell him” when Gibbs mysteriously knows Mcgee’s resume too.  Tony insisting on escorting McGee to meet Abby.  Tony insisting that Abby and McGee wouldn’t get along for no reason whatsoever.  McGee able to leave Tony — Tony — speechless.  I just-  Hehh!?!??!?!

I’m sorry, McGee, but you’re not allowed to stay on the show.  It’s just… it’s not allowed.  This is posing a serious health and safety risk to Reactor Wench of Perdition Reactors and she’s not happy.  And Reactor Jezebel has refused to allow her to die, so this isn’t allowed.  Repeated breathing-halts can cause health risks.

I’m sooooo sorry to anyone reading this without any interest in this whatsoever, but.  Um.  It’s really not my fault, okay?  I’m a slave to the muse.  And the muse… made herself clear.  I might return to normal again.  Maybe.  At some point.  [I just ☠️☠️☠️ I love how all the reactions have been super character critical and analyzing deeper meaning.  And then he said McGee in the beginning of this one and you were like Ohp… who now !?  And you just been gone ever since.]  Look, IN MY DEFENSE.  I am going to give the deeper analysis too.  But when I’m deprived of oxygen, I tend to focus on the cause, ya know?  [This is from a very serious series. Where someone was murdered btw]  I… don't care.  Body?  Ugh.  Eh.  Who cares.  Derivative.  Jock + Geek = <3?  Fascinating.  Fresh.  Beloved.

“I hate procedural cop shows. There's like three hundred of them on television and they're all the freaking same. It's ooh, plane crashed here—oh shut up.”  - Dean Winchester, re. CSI

😍 - Dean Winchester, re. Dr. Sexy

Translation: repetitive procedural show = blah; repetitive procedural show with Romantic Interactions = amazing.  See?  It just… It just lifts the show’s quality, you know?  

ANYWAY.

On to my usual deeper analysis side of things.  Gibbs was decent in this, albeit grouchy.  Still not sure what he meant by “that’s not coffee”, though.  I thought that maybe he was going to use the pattern of the spill to figure something out about the acid?  But they basically forgot about the acid-dead-body-thing as soon as the tattoo was found, so I guess not.  Kate was cool — and, btw, her banter has been getting better… her thing with Tony at the end of this episode was kinda sweet, actually, with the “they make you the sub mascot?” “is this your way of saying you missed me?” exchange — and, with the exception of that bit at the beginning (about which I commented above), she continues to rise higher in my estimation.  Abby and Ducky are still adored; same with Tony.  Shockingly — since nothing about the earlier reaction could possibly have suggested this — McGee has already skyrocketed up there too.

Character ranking, as it stands now, is as follows:

Tony ≈ McGee ≈ Abby ≈ Ducky > Kate ≈ Gibbs (except that Kate is just a touch better than Gibbs due to last episode)

The writing seemed mostly decent!  The storyline seemed to mostly hold together — it did kinda annoy me that the acid body just kinda… dropped off the face of the map?  But otherwise — and I thought it was pretty well-done overall, actually.  [They yeeted the man out in a torpedo ☠️😂]  Yes, but it was a valid way to get rid of the gas.  Only issue that I see is that it might have ruined the whole, you know, habitat.  But I don’t know enough about sarin to be sure one way or the other.  And the ice cream was kinda out of nowhere — and not what I’d expect from a sub — but I guess they had vodka, so maybe it’s not completely bizarre.  I did like the reveal of why they were eating the ice cream; that was nicely understated, if that makes sense?  [To make room for the body?]  Yeah.  Like, they said it outright, but it was also... dark and quiet in a way most stuff isn't?  And delayed; they didn't outright say "oh, we gotta put the body somewhere."  They acted like it really was something they didn’t want to talk about.  [Yeah that was hilarious.]

Okay, I think that’s a wrap, folks!  Sorry for the screeching; this was.  Unexpected. See y’all next time (and please stick with us despite me being unhinged)!

[brycedearings]

I’m obsessed with the new Jurassic movie! I’ve been sobbing over Beta and Blue (I am slightly disappointed that we did not get more Blue screentime) and the OG cast and the Jurassic world cast we did not get enough of them together. Clawen and Maisie have me in a vice grip. Anyway what are your thoughts?

I loved it so much! [sp*lers ahead for anyone who hasn't seen it] this turned out really long lol

I was actually really surprised there were negative comments about the movie- but then again I thought the same thing happened with Fallen Kingdom. I genuinely loved it and would rank it above FK although it's very close. I'm just such a sucker for the Jurassic movies that there's not one I don't like.

I went into it with 0 expectations or spoilers so my only wishes for the movie were 1. Claire doesn't die (I doubted she or any major character would bc Jurassic has never done that before but I was paranoid lol) 2. Claire and Owen would still be together and not another breakup/complicated thing. I worried for a second when Franklin mentioned them being 'weird' but someone pointed out to me how it made sense bc with Claire and Owen being in hiding all those years protecting Maisie, they wouldn't have seen him and Zia a lot or at all so they're not seeing the daily dose of affectionate/in a healthy stable relationship clawen.

Which points me to something else- I read some people saying they didn't like how Claire wasn't really working or seeing her career driven but imo that wouldn't have made sense in this movie. In the first JW she was working at the park, then she was handling the DPG. Now she's got to take care of Maisie so it wouldn't have made sense for her to be risking her and doing something concrete. She was helping the dinosaurs so she still very much had a purpose outside of Maisie and I didn't see any problem with it. The film also ended before we could see what she would do next but 1. There's only so much they could fit into this already jam packed movie and 2. I liked that a lot was left for interpretation.

Claire had SUCH a beautiful progression in these 3 movies. Her arc was the most prominent and it made me tear up. I also love that clawen were finally in a healthy relationship without any unnecessary drama. They communicated, they were partners. All those beautiful moments!! I hoped we would get another kiss like in the other movies but I wasn't expecting one- and then we got that long kiss moment, all those hugs! The worrying, the reunions. Sigh. That perfect plane scene with his "i love you".

I loved their reunion with Maisie as well, that hug + that other hug later with Claire and Maisie warmed my heart. If I had to get picky with anything in this movie was that I wish it had been longer lol had a Dominion part 2 but that's not that easy and they already had issues with COVID back then so I was impressed with all we got.

I wished Maisie called them "mom" and "dad" but I can also understand why they didn't. It could have been perceived as corny or too easy. Her calling them her parents was a lot already- which I loved. Even an apology scene with her and Claire would have been nice but it's not something that overly bothered me. And yeah it would have been nice to get more Blue, but again there was already so much happening in the movie.

I loved seeing Owen saving Claire for once in this movie. It didn't make her look weak, it was just realistic I mean they're surrounded by dinosaurs. They're all saving each other at some point and it was nice to have that. And I mean Claire was still really badass in this movie. That opening sequence and the jungle scene? oof.

I almost cried when the OG 3 met clawen and Maisie. The callbacks to JP were great without being cheesy. The script was smart without being corny. I'm just still on a high from it and can't wait to see it again. Normally with movies you don't really get great character writing and progression for a female character (claire) and an amazing love story without over the top drama. The most we saw was in FK post breakup but even then we got a lot of great moments between them. I just wasn't expecting all the clawen we got. At all. I was on cloud 9 repeatedly.

[variousqueerthings]

Tom Hardy Movies rated least to most queer

I made a list of some Tom Hardy movies and I rated them based on my own, non-specific criteria about what makes a movie queer. Results below the cut.

(Some films not included, because I haven’t watched them yet, because Mr Hardy’s only in them for a few minutes, because the subject matter doesn’t lend itself to this list, or because I just don’t want’em here. TV series also not included. The list is organised into both groups and ratings, because I’m doing The Most.)

Movies are divided into four groups and rated from 0 – 10 on the Queer-Scale, scroll down to the bottom if you want the ratings without the commentary.

Disclaimer: This list is subjective. Don’t come at me because I didn’t rate Inception higher, Nolan himself is as queer as cargo shorts. 

1. This movie would make more sense if it were queer

If this movie were queer it… might not become a perfect film all of a sudden, but it’d make a hell of a lot more sense than what’s actually going on. With an occasional dose of “are the cis-straights okay?”

This Means War (2012): So Chris Pine and Tom Hardy are ostensibly both in love with Reese Witherspoon, but say “I love you” to each other pretty much constantly throughout the movie and their friendship is often presented as a domestic partnership. Cool, cool, cooool.

Queer Rating: 2 out of 10. This movie hate-crimed me by having Tom Hardy literally spell out his relationship with Chris Pine, only for the script to then have him say… “can you imagine all that… but with a woman…” Later on the movie explicitly denies polyamory is possible. Fuck this film.

The Dark Knight Rises (2012): Batman movies should always be queer. Mr. Hardy’s the only one who acceptably camps it up, despite Nolan’s best attempts to make him “acceptably gruff.” No matter what you do, Bane is a massive daddy in a mask and thanks to Mr Hardy’s honestly iconic fucking speech pattern in this film, it goes from pretty atrociously straight to just queer enough to imagine a future where Robert Pattinson plays batman and maybe adopts a bunch of kids.

(the only truly decent mask in this franchise tbh)

Queer Rating: 3 out of 10. Mr Hardy’s back is the one that’s actually broken carrying any semblance of fun in this overly long movie all on his own.

Lawless (2012): Wow, this really was the year of the not-queer-enough, wasn’t it? Look, it’s “based on a real story,” but it’s also a movie and movies don’t need to stick to the truth, and this one certainly doesn’t. Was the guy queer in real life? I don’t know. But that doesn’t matter, what matters is that it’s just kind of an eh movie and maybe being queer would add something to it. One of those “but why make someone queer? because it’s always more interesting to do so,” movies.

Queer Rating: 3 out of 10. It’s just not queer. But Tom Hardy wears cardigans and described his character as a “mother figure,” which adds an interesting dynamic to him.

2. Actually Queer but in a homophobic way

Tom Hardy plays a canonically queer character, yaaay. The whole movie contains a strange sense of the director being too not-queer to actually engage with that and everything around him is almost aggressively straight, noooo.

RocknRolla (2008): Honestly this movie has the funniest coming out scene ever + that familiar undertone of “all these manly men secretly want to fuck each other” is only heightened by one of them actually being gay and in love with his best friend. It’s such a fucking… it’s such a movie. Personally I find Mark Strong, Idris Elba, Thandie Newton, and, of course, Tom Hardy to be really hot in it, so that’s a plus. There’s a scene in which Strong’s character teaches another gangster how to do a proper backhand. It’s really gay of him. Also slow-dancing at a gay club. Butler’s character needs to get himself together, you really don’t think 2008 Tom Hardy is hot? Mate.

(left to right: functional queer, disaster queer, distinguished queer)

Queer Rating: 6 out of 10, for having an actual gay character who is played by Tom Hardy doing a sexy phonecall voice to another guy, but then there’s that feeling you can’t shake that the whole movie is vaguely uncomfortable about it, like a family member awkwardly patting you on the shoulder after they found out you were queer second-hand, but they’ve still got 50 years of bias to unlearn. Also Thandie Newton is killed, fuck that noise. 

Legend (2015): If I had a nickle for the amount of times Tom Hardy’s played a gay gangster, I’d have two nickles. Which isn’t a lot, but weird that it happened twice (looks at Peaky Blinders and thinks it ought to be three times). I’ve watched Legend three times and every time it just… loses me. And because this is a biased list, I’ll only specifically mention that it fails to make Ron’s queerness anything but a way for him to shock others. Gangsters could be gay? Gasp! On the upside Tom Hardy has so much sexual tension with everyone in this movie, including himself (why would you do that? Asks Ron, bemused. Because I can’t kill you, no matter how much I fucking want to, hisses a blood-soaked Reggie right into his ear. It’s hot).

Queer rating: 5 out of 10 because the film is just not very queer for a movie with several queer men in it.

3. Straight as a forced family dinner

It’s straight.

Locke (2013): He’s a married man who had an affair and trying to deal with the fallout of it. This isn’t a spoiler for most of the movie, it’s a pretty neat movie where we look at Tom Hardy having a bit of a mental breakdown and taking lots of phonecalls (my personal hell). Is it queer? Not in the slightest.

Queer Rating: 2 out of 10 for Hardy’s face being in almost every shot.

The Revenant (2015): Yeah, yeah, DeCaprio’s and Hardy’s characters are obsessed with each other, yeah it’s a man’s world where the only women are dead wife, kidnapped sexually assaulted native princess, or background whore, yeah, they fight each other and there’s a ton of grunting, but also… I just fucking don’t like this movie. The thin line where a storyline like this one becomes queer might be crossed for others, but not for me. Fuck these guys and their stupid  bear fights.

Queer rating: 3 out of 10 for it being about dirty men in the middle of nowhere (but you could just watch Brokeback Mountain or The Lighthouse or God’s Own Country or any Mad Max, or, or, or…)

4. Queer? Queer. Queer? … Queer…

The plots, aesthetics and/or characters played by Tom Hardy lend themselves to a queer reading, even if there is no overt intention towards queerness. Often this is because of a deliberate lack of heterosexual and/or cisgender writing, which in this day and age is still pretty uncommon not to include within a plot.

Inception (2010): Okay, I don’t even need to write about the added “darling,” or the “go to sleep Mr Eames.” I don’t need to go on about the absolutely bonkers amount of fanfiction written for Eames and Arthur, based on a few minutes of film and a boatload of chemistry. It’s queer.

Queer Rating: 7 out of 10, because the actual plot of the film isn’t very queer, but between the Arthur/Eames dynamic and Elliot Page, Nolan was really given a gift he didn’t deserve.

Warrior (2011): Okay, so first off, this might be my favourite Tom Hardy film, at least some part of my brain is fixated on it at almost all times and I’m considering watching it for the third time in two weeks. I don’t only consider it queer based on Mr. Hardy’s character, although he has no romantic or sexual interest and could be read as aroace, but because of the themes, especially those surrounding said character, who is coded as a caregiver to women and through close emotional connections to men. It’s got possibly unintentional deconstructions of masculinity and two men (brothers) who need to forgive each other and can only do so through the catharsis of violence. It speaks to me as a transmasc with several cis brothers, struggling with my own masculinity. It’s not at all written for me, but I find myself all over it. I could talk about this movie forever.

Queer Rating: 8 out of 10. I’m not allowed to say any more or I’ll never stop writing about it. I love you Tommy…

The Drop (2014): Bob’s lack of sexual and/or romantic interest in Naomi is so strange to her that she doesn’t know what he would want from her otherwise. Bob really just wants to raise a dog with her (and also forgiveness for past sins). Bob is such a rare ace and possibly aro coded character, it really throws me every time I watch this film how obvious it is. Bonus points for also being autistic-coded and not in the stereotypical ways.

(Tom Hardy’s most challenging role: pretending he doesn’t know dogs)

Queer Rating: 9 out of 10 because it’s so fucking rare to see ace and aro coded characters that aren’t, you know…. serial killers. Also Tom Hardy adopts a puppy and has a very cute, kinda lispy voice. How often does Tom Hardy play softer men like this?

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015): Very deliberately no sexual or romantic writing included in Max’s and Furiosa’s relationship. Sure, there’s not a lot of time for that in the post-apocalyptic wasteland, but it was also done with a purpose! “It was always going to be two warriors on par, starting off with very little respect for each other and ending up with a massive respect for each other.” - Charlize Theron. “So of course they meet, of course there’s a relationship, an unspoken understanding. A recognition.” - Tom Hardy.

Queer Rating: 9 out of 10. It’s not just the characters, but the world and it’s apocalyptic BDSM leather scene, the questions it asks about sustainability and about people as tools, and the found family. It’s about overcoming violence through multiple kinds of love. And it’s about watching a guy playing flame-thrower guitar. What could be queerer?

Venom (2018): Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, never the same… No, but Eddie is queer. The only question is whether the sequel will acknowledge that aspect or not, but even if not. Even if it manages to straightly bypass the reality of a symbiotic relationship with a genderless? genderfluid? being from another world that is linked to you down to your very cells and understands you more intimately than any other person possibly could… even if all that: Eddie is queer. Venom and Eddie are in a relationship. Any relationship Eddie ever enters into will automatically become a thrupple. He makes out with Venom in the movie! Eddie is queer.

(aw yeah that tongue is going down his throat)

Queer Rating: 9.5 out of 10, because it’s still coded by the creators in the language of bromance (hey, bro, is it gay if we’re physically and emotionally closer than any other people on earth?), but the movie is so, so camp and Mr Hardy’s acting choices are beautiful – the screaming? The lispy soft voice and lack of taking up space? The lobster tank? The only people who don’t know how queer this is are the people making it apparently. Fingers crossed for that sequel!

Hon. mentions:

Star Trek: Nemesis (2002): Star Trek – even at it’s worst (especially at its worst?) – is camp af + Hardy is a straight-up baby in this film.

Bronson (2008): It’s about a real person who’s still alive, so I won’t comment on the actual man. However the film seems to code the character Bronson along an ace line and also has genderqueering Vaudeville. Someone let Tom Hardy do more of whatever was going on in those stage-bits.

(this right here: this the good shit)

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011): Another ensemble piece not massively about Hardy’s character, but it’s a movie that centers around queerness in a strange, depressing way. Tom Hardy’s character isn’t queer. Colin Firth and Mark Strong are though. The book makes me cry.

Peaky Blinders (2013-): Because it’s a TV series I left it out. There’s a lot of straight nonsense going on there, but Alfie Solomens is gay. There’s nothing in the series that disputes that and plenty that lends itself to the reading.

Dunkirk (2017): Tom Hardy plays an RAF pilot in a deep emotional connection with the other main RAF pilot. That’s immediately gay. However he’s not in the movie much because of the way it’s constructed, so I left it off.

Queer Ratings (least to most)

No queer to be found here traveller:

This Means War: 2 out of 10 - illegal movie, Tom Hardy swore he wouldn’t do another rom-com after

Locke: 2 out of 10 - straight Welshman and his straight problems. He pretty though

Lawless: 3 out of 10 - cardigan-Hardy being a mother-hen, but very straight for all that

The Dark Knight Rises: 3 out of 10 - a superhero movie that doesn’t deserve Mr Hardy’s camp talents (unlike Venom)

The Revenant: 3 out of 10 - doesn’t give me what I want out of a movie full of dirty, bearded men

Queer but we deserve more:

Legend: 5 out of 10 - timid homosexuality, considering the source material. 

RocknRolla: 6 out of 10 - hey bro, is it gay if we kill the only female lead in our massive ensemble cast

The queerest of Hardy’s:

Inception: 7 out of 10 - Elliot Page and JGL kissing was an all-around terrible choice that made no sense, we know the truth, Nolan

Warrior: 8 out of 10 - I’m still crying, Edgerton’s crying, Hardy’s crying, we’re all crying, and I think that’s really emotionally healthy and queer of us

Mad Max: Fury Road: 9 out of 10 - non-romantic love in the time of BDSM post-apocalyptic wastelands is something that can actually be so personal

The Drop: 9 out of 10 - “Fucking punk. Go out to dinner dressed like you're still in you living room! You wear those big hippity-hoppity clown shoes! You speak to women terribly! You treat them despicably! You hurt harmless dogs that can't defend themselves! I'm tired of you man. I'm tired of you. You embarrass me!”

Venom: 9.5 out of 10 - Sometimes a relationship is an anxious reporter, the sentient goo inhabiting his body, his kinda-ex-girlfriend and her new doctor boyfriend, and I think that’s beautiful

[brogues-b4-hoes]

Kingsman the secret service, first draft liveblog.

I’m reading the original draft for Kingsman: The secret service and being just blown away by how different but the same™ it is so I’m gonna list some things that made me go :0 

Huntsman and sons doesn’t really sound like a spy org. it sounds like a rustic b&b in the scottish countryside. Not a bad thing but Kingsman does sound a bit more “knightly” and “cool” 

Also Jack Lincoln is just not it. Harry Hart is where it’s at. 

SO about the ages: In this script Eggsy is 21, Harry is 49, Merlin is middleaged (I’m assuming that means like 44-45 ish), Roxy is 22, Charlie 23, Lancelot 39. 

Merlin was supposed to be “black, handsome” And frankly my first thought was “....Idris Elba?” lmao 

The medal Eggsy gets is called a Guinevere Cross and I immediately came up with a whole scenario of how the first Guinevere sacrificed themself in an act of bravery, which is why the Kingsman medal of honor is named after them. 

Lancelot was supposed to fight Gazelle before losing but ig getting cut in half from behind has more shock value. (Just give my boy a bit more screentime) 

I’m glad they changed Michelle’s whole approach to Daisy, cause in this script it comes across like she couldn’t care less about her literal toddler, which makes her kind of unlikeable :// I’m glad they didn’t do Michelle dirty like that in the final script. 

Arthur really was just a sexist, elitist bastard now wasn’t he (while looking at the candidates his reaction to Eggsy being proposed is “at least it’s not a woman, I mean wtf are all these women doing here??” .....There’s three women being proposed out of twelve candidates, Chester.)

On that note, I’m glad they ended up giving Merlin more of Arthur’s lines - mostly because it makes sense for Merlin’s character to play the part of handler besides being the tech wizard he is- but also Make! Arthur! Say! Less!

I think it’s an interesting choice to have the candidates be from all over the world, as I Imagine the agents who were abroad just chose the best person they could find from that area, and if that’s true then the other agents were away in: France, Germany, Denmark, Japan, Italy, Ethiopia, South Africa, India, Persia and America. Do what you want with that info.

Yeah Roxy was american originally lol

I’m glad they acknowledge the lack of privacy in the first dorm set up, because I always looked at that in the movie and thought “If I had to use a bathroom out in the open with eleven peers just hanging out behind me, I would simply not use the bathroom lol” 

Glad they cut the whole subplot of Harry infiltrating some bank, especially because it involved dressing up as a woman to get acces to the ladies room, which, given the current climate and the whole jkr situation would not have gone down well, to say the least. 

“That sounds exhausting” in which Harry is me. 

"Training starts tomorrow, which I will have nothing to do with. Watching people train is boring.” Spoken boldly for a guy who then subsequently shows up at every. single. training scene, Merlin. 

God I’m glad they cut the whole puppy obstacle course scene, it was just alot lol 

A lot of stuff is the same but what really stands out to me is how little Eggsy actually does on his own, in this version he only passes tests through dumb luck or because Harry straight up gives him the answers, which makes it difficult to root for him in this script. So I’m glad they changed that. 

Idk what to think about the implanted chip being a bluetooth earpiece originally, like who wears an earpiece all the time?..... Ig the writers thought the same thing in the end lol 

“Medic! We need a medic!” Me, internally: SO YOU ARE SAYING YOU HAVE MEDICS?? Merlin: “No we don’t.” me, internally: IM NOTING THIS AS PROOF THAT YOU HAVE MEDICS, GALEN IS CANON CONFIRMED

I like that Elton John is just fully in this movie, what exactly is it about Elton John that made Matthew and Jane continue to write him into both movies??? IS HE GOING TO BE IN THE BLUE BLOOD TOO? :0

I’d like to note that I do not like Elton John pelting shit at Valentine lol 

The way that they really wrote a whole Heathers the musical “shut up, Heather!” scene but with Arthur, Harry and Merlin saying “shut up, Eggsy!” I CAN’T WITH THIS SCRIPT

Broke: “Lady Gaga” woke: “Lady G’gar” (as pronounced by Arthur lmao) 

Okay so in a cut test, there’s a mentioning of Huntsmen security, which I will take as proof for my whole “The entire plot of TGC is bullshit because there had to be more staff at Kingsman than just Merlin, meaning more survivors of the bombing” 

AND THE PLOT THICKENS WITH THIS: Harry (to Eggsy): “Look, I’ll be back in a few days. Stay here ‘till then. I’ll call Merlin, and when everything’s calmed down I’ll take you in and finesse things. If we’re lucky we can get you a job in admin or train you as a pilot.” HELLOO WHERE WERE THE ADMINS AND PILOTS AND SECURITY IN TGC 

“Thank you. I’ll do anything. I’ll be a cleaner, even.” THEY HAVE CLEANERS TOO MATTHEW YOU’RE KIDDING ME

The ending is so different omg What is Happening? why is Usain Bolt, Lady Gaga, Jamie Oliver and Elton John fighting together avengers style? 

All in all: I much prefer the way they handled things in the final script because this felt a bit too much like the types of movies you write with your friends in middleschool for shits and giggles and less like an actual film you’d go see in theatres. But of course it’s important to remember that this mess led to one of my favorite films ever, and I really enjoyed the insight into the process and changes that led the writers to the final version. T’was very cool. 

Also I read the novelization of The Golden Circle and I can’t say which one I get the biggest yikes from (yes I can it’s the novel. It’s so bad lol) 

[demonslayedher]

More Hype for Mugen Ressha!

I bring you two things in this post: comments from the voice actors included in the Rengoku Vol. 0 booklet given out at the first showings, and my notes that I used to catch a friend up to speed really fast before watching the movie, as this may come in handy for some of you taking the uninitiated with you. 

Single comments from each of the main cast (presented aside from longer interviews): Hanae Natsuki (Tanjirou): “I want you to see how Tanjirou explodes with emotion after all this fighting he’s done for Nezuko and the rest of his family.”

Kitou Akari (Nezuko): “Even in the serious developments, I’d like you pay attention to Nezuko’s adorableness.”

Shimono Hiro (Zenitsu): “I’m putting my life on the line for each and every one of Zenitsu’s screams.”

Matsuoka Yoshitsugu (Inosuke): “When I saw the script, I thought that my voice might not hold out for all of this.”

Hino Satoshi (Rengoku): “This man, Rengoku Kyoujurou, has strength that made me hit a higher level of passion than I had assumed I would.”

Hirakawa Daisuke (Enmu): “This is Enmu, a character stripped of humanlike emotions.” 

When I brought a friend who had not yet been exposed to Kimetsu no Yaiba (besides, you know, seeing it everywhere in daily life), I showed her a few pages of anime recap in this booklet and prepared notes for what she’d need for the movie (and to keep myself on track instead of explaining the whole series). She was a serious student and had a few additional questions after the movie, like why Rengoku asked about the color of Tanjiro’s sword, and then within three days she had seen the whole first season and read the whole manga. I successfully created a demon. 

You can use my notes to create some demons too: 

Premise: Demons eat people.  Muzan is the main baddie, Upper Moons are the most powerful six demons under him, Lowers Moons are the next rank after that, others are scattered. The 12 Moons are powerful because they have more of Muzan’s blood and have eaten more people. Enmu is Lower Moon One, the last one left and the most powerful of that tier. No Upper Moons have appeared yet at this point in the story. Sunlight kills demons, as will chopping off their heads.  Demons used to be people.  Powerful demons can use magic Blood Techniques.  The Demon Slayer Corp slays demons.  Their leader is Oyakata-sama, a sickly man.  The swordsmen use a technique called Breaths. This all stems from Sun Breathing, which stemmed into five basic types (Rock, Water, Wind, Flame, and Thunder), but there are many other subtypes. Their swords are special, but they do not actually create water and flames, that is only imaginative animation.  The most powerful swordsmen are called Pillars. There are nine of them, Rengoku is the Flame Pillar.  Kamado Tanjiro:  Simple charcoal farmer until his family is killed and his little sister Nezuko is turned into a demon. Encounter with Water Pillar led him to join the Corp. There is a training arc and then he passes an exam. The first season his generally his maturation and introduces the world and characters.  Many people in the series have absurdly keen senses. Tanjiro has an especially good sense of smell. He also has a very strong forehead.  Kamado Nezuko:  She is a special demon because she gains strength by sleeping instead of eating people.  She wears the bamboo muzzle to help prevent her from eating people.  She is accepted in the Corp but not welcome.  She can’t talk, she changes size. Sunlight is lethal to her, she stays in a box to travel with Tanjiro. She is under a hex to see all humans as her family.  Episode 19:  Tanjiro is a Water Breather, but when up against Lower Moon Five he performs Hinokami Kagura, a sacred dance which he learned from his father without knowing it was a sword form. Nezuko finds that her Blood Technique is a fire that hurts demons but not people. Tanjiro wants to know more about Hinokami Kagura, and is told to seek the advice of the Flame Pillar, Rengoku.  Rengoku was initially opposed to Nezuko, but he accepts Oyakata-sama’s orders without question.  Zenitsu is a Thunder Breather.  He’s in the Corp to pay a debt.  He’s constantly scared, he can only perform one technique, but he has practiced it to perfection. However, since he’s always so anxious, he can only perform in his sleep.  He has powerful hearing, even in his sleep.  Inosuke is a Beast Breather, a Breath technique he created himself. His tactile sense is especially strong.  (My tip: Don’t say anything else about Inosuke. Let them make their own conclusions about him. Ask them afterward and laugh. They might not even know that’s not his real face.)

[crescencestudio]

Devlog #7 | 10.14.21

Hi everyone!

Back with another update - for some reason these biweekly updates feel so far apart. I also apologize for the lack of content on the blog lately! I’ve had a lot on my plate, from Alaris and ensuring continuous work for Devtember and the Expanded Chapter 1 Release to real-world stuff. October has definitely started off already busy for me! While I haven’t been able to update or post as frequently on this blog, I’ve been hard at work on Alaris and made lots of progress towards the Expanded Chapter 1 Release as well as part of Chapter 2 :) As we get closer to the release of the Expanded Chapter 1, definitely look forward to more marketing materials and more content again! 

*Cue Clickbait Screenshot Here*

As always, read below the cut for more details on progress on Alaris - I’ll be talking about the upcoming Expanded Release, Devtember progress, and more :D

I can’t quite remember what I covered in the last devlog, but I’ll go over all the updates I think are worth mentioning! Regarding Chapter 2, I’ve completely finished the draft script and it has come in at a WHOPPING 20,000 words. The way I’ve set up the flow of the chapter, you will be getting 10,000 words worth of content per playthrough (this will be dependent on your choices and personality), so it will feel like a normal chapter length, but there will be lots of content to access if that makes sense! 

I’ve also started scripting Free Time! I’ve decided to go with a setup that plays closer to Toki Doki Memorial - Girl’s Side for anyone who’s ever played that. Essentially, you will have a free time portion during the story, where you will be able to choose a location to go to. You can also invite one of the LIs (Kuna’a and Aisa excluded) to come with you! Depending on your affection with them, they will choose to either accept or decline. I won’t be making the affection requirement high since I don’t want this to feel like a stats-raising game, but a small requirement will be there since if you have like 0 points of affection with an LI, they would essentially view you like a stranger and logically wouldn’t accept. But keep in mind, personality and affection choices impact LI’s affection for you, so there are many ways to ensure you meet the requirement for any LI you like! As the game goes on, if your affection points with a certain LI are high enough, they may actually invite you out on a date! This is content that will be available in later chapters though, but it is something to look forward to :D 

I also have a big update regarding Devtember! Based on the layout of Devtember, you are supposed to just work on your project everyday and (optionally) post updates on it. I’ve been posting daily updates on Twitter, which you all are free to follow. But because I wanted to have some kind of submission/ concrete project to show the work put in for Devtember, I decided to focus on an Expanded Release of Chapter 1. This update will come at the end of the month/ early November and will include a preview of Free Time and ALL the currently planned Extras Features. This includes things like the CG and Scenes Gallery, a Music Room, Codex, and Full Stats Function. These past couple weeks, I’ve made a lot of progress in terms of finishing scripting for Chapter 2 and then coding all of these features in! 

As you can see, the Stats page will allow you to see how many personality and affection points you have in the game based on your decisions! I’m also currently working on coding the Codex, which will give you access to more information on the world of Alaris as you explore the chapters :) 

I’ve also finished coding the Preferences page. For those who played the Preview version of Chapter 1, you’ll know that the Preferences page was just the default Ren’py version. Now, the GUI will match the rest of the game! 

Please note, all of these are still drafts and are currently meant to help me test the code and have an idea of the GUI, but this will be a close representation to the Expanded version.

For those who are hesitant on the Expanded Chapter 1 Release, there will be some new content in the story itself that will give a sneak peek at Chapter 2! So the expanded version won’t just be about GUI, it will also include access to Free Time (preview), a fully developed Personality/ Stats system, a Codex, and a slightly expanded story! I hope you’re all looking forward to it as much as I am, and I’ll see you at the next update :D 

As always, feel free to follow me on itch.io or Twitter for more updates or donate at Ko-fi to support development <3

[queenlua]

hey, i started following you recently and ur bio says ur a hacker? any tips on where to start? hacking seems like a v cool/fun way to learn more abt coding and cybersecurity/infrastructure and i'd like to explore it but there's so much on the internet and like, i'm not trying to get into anything illegal. thanks!

huh, an interesting question, ty!

i can give more tailored advice if you hit me up on chat with more specifics on your background/interests.

given what you've written here, though, i'll just assume you don't have any immediate professional aspirations (e.g. you just want to learn some things, and you aren't necessarily trying to get A Cyber Security Job TM within the next three months or w/e), and that you don't know much about any specific programming/computering domain yet.

(stuff under cut because long)

first i'd probably just try to pick some interesting problem that you think you can solve with tech. this doesn't need to be a "hacking" project at first; i was just messing around with computers for ages before i did anything involving security/exploitation.

if you don't already know how to program, you should ideally pick a problem you can solve via programming. for instance: i learned a lot back in the 2000s, when play-by-post forum RPGs were in vogue.  see, i'd already been messing around, building my own personal sites, first just with HTML & CSS, and later on with Javascript and PHP.   and i knew the forum software everyone used (InvisionPowerBoard) was written in PHP.  so when one of the admins at my RPG complained that they'd like the ability to set multiple profile pictures, i was like, "hey i'm good at programming, want me to create a mod to do that," and then i just... did. so then they asked me to program more features, and i got all the sexy nerd cred for being Forum Mod Queen, and it was a good time, i learned a lot.

(i also got to be the person who was frantically IMed at 2am because wtf the forum is down and there's an inscrutable error, what do??? basically sysadmining! also, much less sexy! still, i learned a lot!)

the key thing is that it's gotta be a problem that's interesting to you: as much as i love making dorky sites in PHP, half the fun was seeing other people using my stuff, and i think the era of forum-based RPGs has passed. but maybe you can apply some programming talents to something that you are interested in—maybe you want to make a silly Chrome extension to make people laugh, a la Cloud to Butt, or maybe you'd like to make a program that converts pixel art into cross-stitching patterns, maybe you want to just make a cool adventure game on those annoying graphing calculators they make you use in class, or make a script for some online game you play, or make something silly with Arduino (i once made a trash can that rolled toward me when i clapped my hands; it was fun, and way easier than you'd think!), whatever.

i know a lot of hacker-types who got their start doing ROM hacking for video games—replacing the character art or animations or whatever in old NES games. that's probably more relevant than the PHP websites, at least, and is probably a solid place to get started; in my experience those communities tend to be reasonably friendly to questions. pick a small thing you want to do & ask how to do it.

also, a somewhat unconventional path, but—once i knew how to program a bit of Python, i started doing goofy junk, like, "hey can i implemented NamedTuple from scratch,” which tends to lead to Python metaprogramming, which leads to surprising shit like "oh, stack frames are literally just Python objects and you can manually edit them in the interpreter to do deliberately horrendous/silly things, my god this language allows too much reflection and i'm having too much fun"... since Python is a lot of folks' first language these days, i thought i'd point that out, since i think this is a pretty accessible start to thinking about How Programs Actually Work under the hood. allison kaptur has some specific recommendations on how to poke around, if you wanna go that route.

it's reasonably likely you'll end up doing something "hackery" in the natural course of just working on stuff. for instance, while i was working on the IPB forum software mods, i became distressed to learn that everyone was using an INSECURE version of the software! no one was patching their shit!! i yelled at the admins about it, and they were like "well we haven't been hacked yet so it's not a problem," so i uh, decided to demonstrate a proof of concept? i downloaded some sketchy perl script, kicked it until it worked, logged in as the admins, and shitposted a bit before i logged out, y'know, to prove my point.

(they responded by banning me for two weeks, and did not patch their software. which, y'know, rip to them; they got hacked by an unrelated Turkish group two months later, and those dudes just straight-up deleted the whole website. i was a merciful god by comparison!)

anyway, even though downloading a perl script and just pointing it at a website isn't really "hacking" (it's the literal definition of script kiddie, heh)—the point is i was just experimenting a lot and trying a lot of stuff, which meant i was getting comfortable with thinking of software as not just some immutable relic, but something you can touch and prod in unexpected ways.

this dovetails into the next thing, which is like, just learn a lot of stuff. a boring conventional computer science degree will teach you a lot (provided you take it seriously and actually try to learn shit); alternatively, just taking the same classes as a boring conventional computer science degree, via edX or whatever free online thingy, will also teach you a lot. ("contributing to open source" also teaches you a lot but... hngh... is a whole can of worms; send a follow-up ask if you want that rant.)

here's where i should note that "hacking" is an impossibly broad category: the kind of person who knows how to fuck with website authentication tokens is very different than someone who writes a fuzzer, who is often quite different than someone who looks at the bug a fuzzer produces and actually writes a program that can exploit that bug... so what you focus on depends on what you're interested in. i imagine classes with names like "compilers," "operating systems," and "networking" will teach you a lot. but, like, idk, all knowledge is god-breathed and good for teaching. hell, i hear some universities these days have actual computer security classes? that's probably a good thing to look at, just to get a sense of what's out there, if you already know how to program.

also be comfortable with not knowing everything, but also, learn as you go. the bulk of my security knowledge came when i got kinda airdropped into a work team that basically hired me entirely on "potential" (lmao), and uh, prior to joining i only had the faintest idea what a hypervisor was? or the whole protection ring concept? or ioctls or sandboxing or threat models or, fuck, anything? i mostly just pestered people with like 800 questions and slowly built up a knowledge base, and remember being surprised & delighted when i went to a security conference a year later and could follow most of the talks, and when i wound up at a bar with a guy on the xbox security team and we compared our security models a bunch, and so on.  there wasn't a magic moment when i "got it", i was just like, "okay huh this dude says he found a ring-0 exploit... what does that mean... okay i think i got that... why is that a big deal though... better ask somebody.." (also: reading an occasional dead tree book is a good idea. i owe my firstborn to Robert Love's Linux Kernel Development, as outdated as it is, and also O'Reilly's kookaburra book gave me a great overview of web programming back in the day, etc.  you can learn a lot by just clicking around random blogs, but you’ll often end up with a lot of random little facts and no good mental scaffolding for holding it together; often, a decent book will give you that scaffolding.)

(also, it's pretty useful if you can find a knowledgable someone to pepper with random questions as you go. finding someone who will actively mentor you is tricky, but most working computery folks are happy to tell you things like "what you're doing is actually impossible, here's why," or "here's a tutorial someone told me was good for learning how to write a linux kernel module," or "here's my vague understanding of this concept you know nothing about," or "here's how you automate something to click on a link on a webpage," which tends to be handier than just google on its own.)

if you're reading this and you're like "ok cool but where's the part where i'm handed a computer and i gotta break in while going all hacker typer”—that's not the bulk of the work, alas! like, for sure, we do have fun pranking each other by trying dumb ways of stealing each other's passwords or whatever (once i stuck a keylogger in a dude's keyboard, fun times). but a lot of my security jobs have involved stuff like, "stare at this disassembly a long fuckin' time to figure out how the program pointer got all fucked up," or, "write a fuzzer that feeds a lot of randomized input to some C++ program, watch the program crash because C++ is a horrible language for writing software, go fix all the bugs," or "think Really Hard TM about all the settings and doohickeys this OS/GPU/whatever has, think about all the awful things someone could do with it, threat model and sandbox accordingly." occasionally i have done cool proof-of-concept hacks but honestly writing exploits can kinda be tedious, lol, so like, i'm only doing that if it's the only way i can get people to believe that Yes This Is Actually A Problem, Fix Your Code

"lua that's cool and all but i wanted, like, actual links and recommendations and stuff" okay, fair. here's some ideas:

microcorruption: very fun embedded security CTF; teaches you everything you need to know as you're doing it.

cryptopals crypto challenges: very fun little programming exercises that teach you a lot of fundamental cryptography concepts as you're going along! you can do these even as a bit of a n00b; i did them in Python for the lulz

the binary bomb lab is hilariously copied by, like, so many CS programs, lol, but for good reason. it's accessible and fun and is the first time most people get to feel like a real hacker! (requires you know a bit of C beforehand)

ctftime is a good way to see when new CTFs ("capture the flag"s; security-focused competitions) are coming up. or, sometimes CTFs post their source code, so you can continue trying them after the CTF is over. i liked Stripe's CTFs when they were going, because they focused on "web stuff", and "web stuff" was all i really knew at the time. if you're more interested in staring at disassembly, there's CTFs focused on that sort of thing too.

azeria has good ARM assembly & exploitation tutorials

also, like, lots of good talks out there; just watching defcon/cansecwest/etc talks until something piques your interest is very fun. i'd die on a battlefield for any of Christopher Domas's talks, but he assumes a lot of specific x86/OS knowledge, lol, so maybe don’t start with that. oh, Julia Evans's blog is honestly probably pretty good for just learning a lot of stuff and really beginner-friendly?

oh and wrt legality... idk, i haven't addressed it here since it hasn't come up in my own work much, tbh. if you're just getting started you're kind of unlikely to Break The Law without, y'know, realizing maybe you're doing something a bit gray-area? and you can cross that bridge when you come to it? Real Hacking TM is way more of a pain-in-the-ass than doing CTFs and such, and you'll learn way more with the latter, so who cares lol just do the fun thing

[aer-in-wanderland]

구미호뎐 | 김범 - Kim Beom ‘Lee Rang Talk’ Instagram LIVE 2020.12.01 

In which Kim Beom addresses fan questions and comments he searched the internet for personally, entirely of his own accord. #Bless ♡♡♡

Time signatures are from this recording uploaded to youtube -> [x]

Because the LIVE was quite long (nearly an hour) I’ve selected out questions and topics that I thought were interesting. For the parts that I omitted, I’ve left time signatures and brief descriptions of what was discussed. If there’s a topic you're curious about that I haven’t included here, feel free to send me an ask. Finally, because the sound quality isn’t the best and he’s sitting back from the camera, there were a few words here and there that I had trouble making out. Sorry in advance!

Introduction & Greeting

Yes, hello! This is actor Kim Beom. And I’m Lee Rang. Before the final episode, before the final week’s broadcast, I wanted to greet you all directly, so I’ve appeared like this dressed as Lee Rang. And...right now you can think of me as someone somewhere in between Kim Beom and Lee Rang. 

To be honest, there’s no decided format. I just went and looked up the things you all were curious about on my own. It could be a bit incoherent, but I hope you’ll enjoy watching. Also, I think there are fans who are worrying how I’ll do a LIVE, since I don’t really know how to, and I haven’t even been on Instagram that long, but actually, in order to do this, I spent the weekend writing the script myself (holding up his cue cards). I wrote the script myself. Actually, yesterday I also had a meeting about how to do an InstaLive, so I hope you’ll enjoy watching. 

[0:01:22~0:02:20] Greeting to international fans in English

[I was impressed by his English here. You can tell he isn’t just reading off his cue cards but actually knows what he’s saying by the way he self-corrects.]

[0:03:00(3:30)~0:05:05] Let Rang eat!

[0:05:10~0:08:04] Re: Color of clothing

Ah! There were a ton of comments about clothing color as well. Uh...I also read a lot of comments where you all were analyzing various things. And, well, a certain amount of it was really accurate...I was really thankful and also fascinated to see that it seemed like you all picked up on some of the things I had put thought into. For example, in the early part of the show when I appeared in red clothes, in a suit, of course there was also the fact that I was making an effort to exude the feeling of a villain, but the other piece that I had been thinking of was that, because there were a ton of scenes in the forest, in the forest on the island, I wanted a color that contrasted with green, so I looked for that sort of complementary color. 

Uh...so, for the case of Forest of the Starved, as with wearing red in the forest in the early episodes, I intentionally wore camel colored clothes and such. Uh...and because it was running, because a lot of the scenes in the Forest of the Starved were of us running, for visual purposes, the director proposed that we wear long clothes, so I wore a long trench coat and such. Also, for scenes that involved a lot of CG, we also, from a technical standpoint, for those bits with hyung...we wore a lot of colors excluding blue and green.   

Also, what else is there? Ah! The white clothes. There weren’t many scenes where I wore white clothing, but....very simply, in scenes where I bled (chuckling) so that the blood was easily visible...I wore a white shirt and such. One of the comments I read that really stuck with me was, ‘learned...learned pervert’ (laughing). That I was a learned person. I also had input here, and my stylist team also had the same thought, so....(very quietly) I was called a ‘learned pervert.’ Yes. 

Also...That’s right. A lot of what you all thought was really spot on. So I was also really fascinated and I thought, ‘Wah~ They even notice those sorts of things, I have to prepare even more diligently in the future,’ and for me, personally...from my standpoint as Kim Beom, I think this was the most costume fittings I’ve ever done. I also did a lot of test filming during the fittings. A JDG hyung who I’m close with and who is a photographer did a lot of test filming for me and really helped me a lot in the process of making Lee Rang. Oh, and also, in the process of doing tests for Lee Rang, perhaps because I took a liking to his image, I changed my profile picture for the first time in 10 years. I also changed my signature papers. It’s now Lee Rang, it’s Lee Rang’s image. I want to hurry up and provide you all with signatures too (laughs). Is this how I’m supposed to do this? I don’t know... (chuckles) 

[0:08:05~0:09:12] Re: Movements & gestures 

Ah, and also about movements and gestures and such...you talked especially a lot about things like me sleeping curled into a ball that got broadcast not too long ago. I saw a picture of me curled up asleep put next to an image of a fox sleeping, like this. Yes, that’s correct. From the very beginning I talked about wanting to give off the image of a fox, of a baby fox [glances to his staff] What? Show them? (chuckles) Like this, (does the gesture) sort of curled up sleeping. Foxes all sleep curled up, it turns out. So, there was an image of me curled up sleeping and, it should show up in the final episode, but there’s an image of me sitting curled into myself as well. When I’m sitting curled into a ball, even down to my toes I’m sort of, like this (does the gesture). Sitting like this was also something I did in order to give the impression of a fox. 

Aside from that, in the action sequences as well, if you look closely you can see that while people swing their fists like this, we made gestures, actions, like raking our claws. I think those sorts of things helped to make the character of Lee Rang, and also the gumiho, the other gumihos, so I was also really pleased while doing it. Yes. And I was even more thankful that the viewers picked up on that. 

[0:09:17~0:11:00] Re: Ad libs

The ad libs...for the ad libs as well, many people are asking just how much is ad libbed, especially since Yeon-ie hyung [Lee Dong Wook] is extremely good at ad libs and does them a lot. If you watch the behind the scenes videos and such, you can see the actors acting opposite him being caught off guard a lot. Hyung’s ad libs looked really cool to me, so I actually tried to emulate him a lot, but for that, it’s not possible with just your average [comedic/dramatic] sense. It’s the sense of someone who’s over a thousand years old, so one ad lib I made with the sense of a 600 year old was...there was one that was broadcast not long ago: “I’m warning you~~.” ‘I’m warning you~’ is an ad lib (laughs). 

The original line was...what was the original line again? (checks his cue cards) Ah, well, it was a line to the effect of, ‘don’t make me laugh’ or something like that, but seeing hyung saying ‘I’m warning you,’ I had the thought that it would be good if I teased him, so I was like, ‘I’m warning you~~’ as an ad lib. Also, in the café scene where we met after I returned from nearly dying, the drink hyung gave me was...there was a multi-colored drink, and for that, originally in the script it just said, ‘It’s tasty right? Have some, it’s tasty,’ or something like that, but hyung saying, ‘Have some, it’s rainbow flavored,’ was also hyung’s ad lib. And well, it didn’t appear in the broadcast, but I called it unicorn flavored. I think it was cut from the broadcast because it would have left people wondering ‘has he tried eating unicorn before?’ 

Those sorts of things...I also really learned a lot, I think, while doing them, such as hyung’s ease and whatnot. I was really jealous and he looked really cool. It came up in our lines too, but hyung always looked like he was shining brightly; he looked really cool.  

 [0:11:00~0:12:31] Re: Hyung Lee Dong Wook

To tell you more about hyung, hyung is...while being extremely sensitive, he’s the type to look after the other party in a brusk manner. For me personally, when I was studying and making Lee Rang’s character, I don’t think it would have been possible without hyung’s help. At first, I also...for the first time in a while I wore the clothes of another character and stood before the camera, and until that point I really had a lot of concerns and worries, but hyung gave me advice and really cheered me on a lot from the standpoint of an actor who has walked this path a little farther than me. So he was really a great help, and a source of strength, and whenever we were on set and there was something I didn’t know, I’d go ask hyung. Also, when I was agonizing over something, hyung would come over to me first and ask me if he could help, he was like that. 

And aside from that, the director, and the writer...Actually, Lee Rang’s tails have never appeared on screen, but in any case, Lee Rang should also have nine tails, right? There are nine. I have nine tails, but one of those was given to me by hyung. And one by the director, and one by the writer, and many others besides. Because they gave me tails, I was able to become a gumiho with nine tails, that’s the feeling I get. Yes.

[0:13:06~0:14:03] Re: Lee Rang’s Necklace

Ah! That’s right. There were also people who were curious about this necklace, wondering if this...if this wasn’t symbolic of something. In fact, in the beginning I had also thought that far. I thought of using it to express Lee Rang’s signature or something, so at first when he transformed I had gotten rid of it. Like when I appeared with glasses on (leans forward to show off the necklace better) this. It’s this necklace, but for my first transformation when I appeared with glasses, or...at those times I purposefully removed the necklace, but later on when I, when I transformed into hyung, if I wasn’t wearing it....if I was wearing it! I worried that you all would notice. You’re all extremely observant. Like gumihos. So in the end I decided to just leave this as fashion. 

[Note: This doesn’t fully make sense to me in terms of wearing it or not, but I double-checked and I translated everything exactly as he said it.]

[0:14:02~0:14:53] Re: Transformations

And since we’re on the subject of transformations, I’m always being found out and saying, ‘Ah that damn dress code...’ and such, but, everyone, I’m not being found out. Lee Rang isn’t so foolish and incompetent. Conversely, in order to mess with people more, he’s intentionally giving them a hint. So he’s being like... ‘Even if I do this will they not notice? Will they not notice?’ by intentionally giving them a hint with his shoes. And so, for Ji Ah, and for Sajang, that was me intentionally giving them a hint, and in fact wanting them to realize. While being like ‘if you figure this out then I’ll have to mess with you even more,’ I’d then mess with them more. And so, conversely, when I transformed into hyung to fool Sajang, I fooled him perfectly didn’t I? I’m not such an incompetent person as that. 

[0:14:55~0:16:05] Re: Romance 

There are many people who are extremely curious about Lee Rang’s romance as well, but actually, romance [for Rang] didn’t appear in our Tale of the Nine Tailed. Because his love for hyung is so great. And his love for Yoo Ri was also somewhat different from the love between a man and a woman. It was a familial love, and also a love that came from wanting to fill the void, it was that sort of love. Uh....I saw someone say something like this. Mm...when Yeon-ie hyung falls in love it’s to this extent, but if Rang-ie, who is a rule-breaker, who ignores all the rules, were to fall in love, the earth would probably have been destroyed. Or at the very least, Korea would have been destroyed. haha Someone said that, but I think that probably would have been the case. If he had directed his love not at his hyung but at a woman, because Rang-ie isn’t afraid of his hyung, or the afterlife, or even hell, I feel like he would have had that sort of a [world-ending] romance. 

[0:16:48~0:17:37] Re: Lee Rang’s fortune (wealth)

[0:17:38~0:18:19] [Reading and responding briefly to live comments]

[0:18:32~0:19:24] Q: Would Lee Rang have dreamed of being either a full fox or a full human?

Ah...this was a very sad question. [Rang is] a half-human, half-supernatural, but would he have dreamed of being a full gumiho, would he have dreamed of being a full human? There was talk to that effect. Uh...I think Rang-ie wouldn’t have wanted to be either. On the supernatural side as well, because he’s a half-supernatural...I don’t imagine he’d have been welcomed, and among humans, because he has supernatural blood, we also saw him being mistreated a lot. But then, amongst all of that, my one and only source of support was my hyung. And I think that’s why [Rang] was so obsessed with his hyung. I think he probably wouldn’t have wanted to belong to either side. Because he’s that sort of free spirit. Yes, that’s what I think. 

[0:19:30~0:19:58] Re: Lee Rang’s Favorite Food

Q: If Lee Rang had a favorite food like Lee Yeon’s mint chocolate, what would it be?

His favorite food is, you all may already know this, but it’s alcohol. Rang was always together with alcohol, and he was a character who goes well with alcohol. Somehow...it was like how lonely people reach for alcohol. I think it would have been that sort of feeling. It always kept him company, in place of his hyung (chuckles). That sort of, that sort of...his favorite food is alcohol, yes. 

[0:20:02~0:20:50] Re: Favorite fan comments/Not a baby 

[0:21:00~0:21:46] Q: Spicy fox [i.e. fox with an attitude/a bite] vs. baby fox?

[0:21:47~0:0:22:39] Q: The most dangerous gumiho or the most endangered gumiho?

[0:22:45~0:23:34] Q: Favorite Lee Rang look/style?

[0:23:41~0:25:10] Q: Good vs Evil?

Ah, and, there was also a question about what percent of good versus evil exists inside of me, but...I also really thought hard about it when I received this question. Rang-ie was a very kind child when he was young, who couldn’t even pick a flower...he was a kind child who couldn’t even kill a bug, but then, that sort of...should I call it societal evil? Due to some misunderstandings and...painful times, he gradually begins to ‘live devoting himself to evil,’ there’s that expression, in Korea. I think all of that evil would have seeped into him. So while at first he would have been 80-90% good, even so...mm~ at 51 to 49%, wouldn’t 51% of him be good? That slight bit that he tries not to lose. Because evil, because the side of evil kept pulling at me, whether that be Imoogi, or Sajang, unavoidably evil would have pulled at me, but...I get the sense that Rang-ie, to the very end, wouldn’t have given up the good in him...Nn? [Staff catches his eye] Yes, so that’s why it’s (???)* hehehe Oh? (???)* Sorry. Hahaha Ah, sorry. I just startled myself as well. [Pointing at his staff] Your face has turned red!

[Note: The expression he uses for ‘to the end’ here could either be used literally or figuratively. So obviously he accidentally gave a huge spoiler, but if he - or rather, his staff - hadn’t reacted so much it might have just been glossed over. Also, I think he’s using terms associated with a video game here which is why I’m having trouble parsing the blanks.]

[0:25:12~0:26:56] Kim Beom reminisces about his time with TotNT

[0:27:05~0:27:43] Re: Stickers

Ah! There was also talk about the stickers. Hahaha Uh...for the stickers as well, of course, in the script it was simply expressed as, ‘Rang, who is asleep covered in stickers,’ but actually, what stickers got stuck where was something that I decided myself. So I tried sticking a lightning bolt to my forehead, and, I’m not sure if it was visible in the broadcast, but the earring (the star on his ear) was a reference to the character So Yi Jeong that I played back in the day [Note: this is a reference to his character in Boys Over Flowers (2009)]. Well, I’m the type to overthink things like that, so hehe. I think a lot. 

[0:27:45~0:28:56] Re: Soo Oh

[0:29:12~0:30:00] Q: Are you more of an older or younger brother type?

For that question...whether that question was a question for Kim Beom or for Lee Rang, I actually wasn’t sure, but someone asked, ‘Are you someone who is suited to being an older brother or someone who is suited to being a younger brother?’ Uh....to answer as Rang, Rang is of course more suited to being a younger brother, it fits his natural tendencies. That Kim Beom guy,* I mean, Kim Beom is... (chuckling under his breath) ‘that Kim Beom guy’ what am I saying? Kim Beom is...more suited to being an older brother, he has that aptitude, that inclination I think. 

[*Note: When said this I burst out laughing. The literal expression is, ‘that chingu (friend) called Kim Beom,’ and it’s just not a way that you would ever refer to yourself. He said he was somewhere in between Lee Rang and Kim Beom, and it really feels like that here haha]

[0:30:12~0:31:10] Re: Nicknames

And, well....If Lee Rang, if there is a nickname that Rang-ie likes or a nickname that remained with him [what would that be]? A whole lot of people also wrote to me with that question. The overseas fans have also been calling me ‘baby fox’ (said in English), and that was really amusing. Uh...also, well, ‘baby fox’ (in Korean), and things like ***** [Note: he censored himself here so I’m not actually sure what he said other than that it’s rude haha], I really had a lot of fun seeing them. Like, these people who, if I met them in real life, would say, ‘Spare me!’ and run away were treating me like a baby... (nodding to himself). It was funny (chuckles). 

[Reading the chat] People keep commenting ‘baby fox’ (in English) hahaha

And so I also, later on....Somehow, at first I thought, ‘Huh?’, but then later on it was something that really made me feel good...(nodding) It was funny. (chuckles)

[0:33:30~0:33:57] Re: Mountain God Lee Rang?

Q: If Lee Rang ever became a mountain god, what sort of world would he have created?

I probably would have made a wonderland for hyung, right? For hyung’s sake alone. So that hyung could enjoy himself, I would have tried making this and that....to make hyung smile once. I feel like that’s what I would have done, and because of that, because [Rang is] that sort of simple guy, he probably wouldn’t have become a mountain god, right? I’m good being a mountain god’s younger brother...

[0:33:58~0:34:54] Re: Rang’s name

Also, Ah~ things related to Rang’s name, too. To my knowledge, the name ‘Rang’ was bestowed by his hyung. So originally he was a half-human, half-supernatural who didn’t even have a name, who was also abandoned by his family. He had been lonely like that, so it was probably hyung who gave it to him. The name ‘Rang’ means ‘shining.’ Most likely, at that time, wouldn’t he have really cried a whole lot? From happiness. Seeing as he continued using the name Rang, seeing as he continued using it for 600 years. If he had disliked it, he probably would have changed it, so he really took a liking to it. It was probably a happy time where he thought, ‘Now I too have a name~’ That’s right. 

[0:35:11~0:36:39] Re: Spin-off

Ah! And also, there was the spin-off to talk about, right? In another world, in a slightly wider world, uh...there was a spin-off telling my story, and to be honest it was an extremely new attempt, and I also, at first, I approached it as an answer and a gift in response to all of the love that so many people had sent. Uh...thanks to that, I think it was nice that I was able to show you Lee Rang from another point of view, and I actually worried about it a great deal. 

Uh...Rather than our existing team, another spin-off team did the filming for us, and so I worried a lot. Because it wasn’t our team. But, they very diligently, and well...shot it for us. And for me, because many people supported us, thankfully, compared to what I had been worried about, I think it worked out well. Actually, when I was really at the end of my rope from worrying so much, I called hyung [Lee Dong Wook] from set, from the spin-off set, to say that I was worried, and I also met up with him in person, and the director [Kang Shin Ho], I told him I was worried. In the off chance that the fans of the Tale of the Nine Tailed main series might hate it, I was really very worried. But hyung really comforted me a lot, and told me it was cool, so that made me feel really good. 

[0:36:41~0:37:28] Re: Yoo Ri (Kim Yong Ji)

Also...I have to talk about Yoo Ri too, don’t I? Our Yoo Ri. Our Yoo Ri...from the very first time I met her she seemed like Yoo Ri. She was really really like a gumiho, like a fox. Like someone of mixed race. In reality, too, we met up recently and were eating together when she told me this. People from Russia are actually sending her DMs, she said. Asking if she’s really a mixed-blood Russian. Hearing that was so funny that I remember we both burst out laughing. But to that extent Yoo Ri [Kim Yong Ji] is that much like Yoo Ri, even when you see her in real life. And also, because she became such a perfect Yoo Ri when we were working, from the very beginning she was very reliable to film with, and I think I was also really able to immerse myself while filming. 

[0:37:29~0:38:01] Re: Shin Joo (Hwang Hee)

And also, Shin Joo hyung, too. Actually...I didn’t have that many scenes in common with Shin Joo, but we became so close on set that later on - ah! Actually it’ll probably appear in tomorrow’s episode. Me and hyung [Hwang Hee] (catches the staff’s eye, raises his eyebrows, and then censors himself).....have a scene together, and you’ll probably get to see a very different Lee Rang, a very cheerful, uh...Lee Rang will appear, so I hope you enjoy watching it. 

[0:38:31~0:40:00] Re: CG

Ah, and also, we can’t not talk about the CG. Because, in a sense, it was one of the biggest aspects of our genre, from the first time we started filming we did a whole lot of tests. I think, in any case, we worried that those who see a lot of (computer graphics? - sorry, I’m actually unsure of this word) would feel that something was off, so we tried once using actual contact lenses, and also tried using actual (physical) tails. And for things like the Imoogi special effects makeup, it was a combination of makeup and CG that came to be through the help of truly a lot of people. My eye, and also hyung’s tails, and our abilities, Imoogi’s skin. I’d like to take the opportunity here to thank everyone involved once again. For giving me such a cool eye. I also, while watching the broadcast, was like, ‘Wah!’ 

Hm... also, I think my only having one eye that changed was probably the director’s idea. Because I’m a half-blood, in any case, his opinion was that it would be nice if only one eye changed, so I was able to have a really cool eye (leans close to the screen with a wild Lee Rang smile and then sits back chucking). It would be nice if it changed, but I’m unable to change my eye by myself (chuckles).

[0:40:05~0:42:00] Re: Stunts/action sequences

And our stunt team, our action team as well. We can’t not talk about them. I’m reminded of the first time, the times we went to action school to practice martial arts. From when we first began action practice, I would coordinate the timing with hyung [Lee Dong Wook] and we would go and practice together. So from the beginning, until we had created the action that would suit our characters, we went several several times for several hours at a time to practice. And then on set, they created things far beyond what we had practiced for us, so our action team really worked very hard as well, and the agwi and such that you saw...for many of those, our staff played all those roles for us. They really had it extremely hard, uh...yes. The (???) director, the (???)* director, and many stunt and action hyungs, all worked very hard. Hyung [Lee Dong Wook] also talked about this during our press conference, but they really worked very hard. On hot days, in the Forest of the Starved, they nearly....and they gave a very impassioned performance, so I was also able to immerse myself so the filming went well.

Mm....To be honest, I’m the type who really likes action, but the gumiho action this time, uh... (nods to himself). There were many stunts that appeared that were at a level beyond what I could have imagined, so while I enjoyed doing them, there were aspects that were difficult too, but when I saw how I appeared in the broadcast, I was very satisfied, and...because [the fans] really liked our sibling action scenes, it made me feel good. 

[*Note: Sorry, because he’s talking half under his breath here I’m actually having trouble making out which directors he’s referring to.]

[0:42:05~0:43:38] Re: Crying scenes

You asked me if having so many crying scenes wasn’t taxing, but...I know, right? More than I thought, more than the Rang that I had originally pictured, [he] was actually quite a crybaby. There were many more crying scenes than I had thought there would be, and depending on how you look at it, it feels like maybe I cried nearly as much as Ji Ah....I get the sense that because [Rang] is a guy who carries a lot of pain and sadness, he had a lot of tears. And also, because I had to cry in a way that was Rang-like, at first I was like, ‘How should I cry? In what manner do I have to shed tears?’ but once the camera started filming...I felt like they were Rang’s own emotions, so. Yes. 

If I think of hyung [Lee Dong Wook], actually, even now I get really choked up. So, when I, myself, Kim Beom, had a photo shoot recently, the topic of hyung came up in the course of the interview and I froze for a second because I nearly started crying, that also happened...

And then on set when I gave my final thoughts upon wrapping filming, I still somehow had many of Rang’s emotions left over, so I...seeing me crying, hyung said, ‘Are you going through puberty?’ hahaha, I have memory of him saying things like that to make me laugh as well. 

[Note: Kim Beom is referring to his photoshoot and interview with Elle Korea. I translated a good bit of it here.]

[0:43:40~0:45:06] Q: A character you’d like to try transforming into?

Also...I, well, hyung also transformed once, but for me because it’s one of my core talents, and because gumihos are the sort of character to do that, I received the question of whether there isn’t a character I wouldn’t like to try transforming into other than the ones that appeared in the drama. Honestly, if I was Lee Rang, I probably would have transformed into Ji Ah and tried to break her [and hyung] apart. Mm....I would have really hated transforming into Ji Ah but, uh...in order to separate her from hyung, and also, out of jealousy, due to his wish that [his hyung] wouldn’t fall in love with her again, out of love for his brother, he would have transformed into Ji Ah...isn’t that originally what gumihos are like?

However, because in that case then Ji Ah [Jo Bo Ah] will have to act that out again, probably (chuckles)...next time, if there’s ever an opportunity, I’ll transform into Ji Ah and... (starts making finger hearts without finishing his sentence) yes. I would like to show that to you all. 

[Reading the live chat] Right? People are asking me if I’m a genius. If it was Lee Rang, Lee Rang should have to transformed into Ji Ah, right? I also honestly just surprised myself by thinking of it just now. 

[0:45:14~0:46:04 ] Thoughts before the final episode

[0:46:24~0:47:28] Re: Charades with Imoogi (Lee Tae Ri)

[0:47:30~0:48:15] Re: Director Kang Shin Hyo

[0:49:26~0:50:21] Q: Memorable Lines & Scenes

Also...about the lines. Memorable lines or memorable scenes, you’re asking a lot about these sorts of things, but I truly haven’t forgotten a single scene I was in; I remember all of them. Because the script, and the characters, and the scenarios...and the scenes were all made so so well. 

Actually...well, at the beginning, when you see me fighting, bickering, with hyung, and I say ‘Didn’t you miss me?’ this line, and also...that sort of line: ‘I’m dying of anticipation.’ There were these sorts of lines as well. Uh...also, my lines that I say to Yoo Ri too. Like...‘Why would you shed tears because of me? Don’t make your life into a melodrama.’ There were these sorts of lines as well. 

[0:50:24~0:51:52] Re: Azaleas

[0:51:54~0:52:26] Re: Gumiho teleportation 

[0:52:27~0:54:00] Re: Rang’s throwing axes

[0:54:32~0:55:11] Re: Dokdo shrimp

[0:55:13~0:55:59] Q: Memorable filming location?

[0:56:00~0:5?:??] Re: Last episodes

[0:56:45~0:57:10] Q: Do you watch the original broadcast?

[0:57:12~End] Closing remarks

[maleksrami]

gif tutorial ✨🎥

I got a few requests to make a gif tutorial so here it is. hope it helps :) It’s quite long so I’ll put it all under a read more. If you have any questions, feel free to ask or PM me directly for help!

Alright....sooo, I don’t remember the last time I made a gif tutorial on this site, but I figured I would even though I use the same method a lot of gif makers have been using for years. I have never strayed from this process and I’ve been making gifs on this site for a decade. 

There are a couple methods to making gifs. You can import your video directly into photoshop and cut your gif there. OR you can use a separate video player that has a screencapping tool, then import all your frames into photoshop; this is the method I use and it’s how I’ve adapted and perfected my giffing skills over time. 

This post will be long, but I want to be as detailed as I can and explain it step by step. It’s really NOT difficult once you get the hang of it, which is probably why I’ve always done it this way. 

Disclaimer: There are three programs I use and I highly suggest you look for reliable links yourself if I’m not able to provide one. I use pretty old versions of KMPlayer and Photoshop (I’ll explain why later), so be careful where you go looking for downloads. There are some photoshop downloads here, but I can’t vouch for them.

Let’s start :)

DOWNLOADING VIDEOS

I use a program called 4k Video Downloader to rip HD videos from Youtube. 1080p is the way to go, but obviously that’s not always possible. It’s ridiculously easy, all you do is click the “Paste Link” button and it’ll download your video. Clicking the “Smart Mode” button will let you set the default quality and the folder you want all your videos to be saved to. 

As you can see, here are all the videos I’ve downloaded recently for my gif posts. You can clear this download history list at any time.

SCREENCAPPING 

After your video is done downloading, I open the video in KMPlayer. Now, I use an OLD version of this program because this was exactly how I learned to do this back in the day. You can find old versions online, I don’t really know exactly which version mine is because I’ve had it forever, but it’s the old school one that looks like this.

When you open the video, it might stretch the player to full screen so I always adjust it by dragging the corner of the player inward so it shrinks to a more medium size. This will also make your screencaps not so GIANT, which will take longer to load into photoshop. 

Anyways, you’re gonna open your video and right click anywhere on the video to select Capture > Frame Extract... (or Ctrl+G on Windows). This window will come up. Make sure all your settings look like this to ensure a really smooth gif.

The first thing you should do is click that little “G” button next to the window size at the bottom. That’ll lock in the dimensions of however big you’ve made your video window, and if you stretch it you’ll see these numbers change. If you start capping without remembering to push that and you make your window smaller/bigger, your caps might be a wacky size or look stretched and you’ll have to go back and do it again. Also note the extracting location at the top. All your caps will go directly to a default folder titled “Capture”.

Once all the settings are ready, go to your desired section of the video, pause it, and hit “Start”. Play the video, pause the video when you’ve got all your caps, then hit “Stop”.

Locate your “Capture” folder and doublecheck you got all the caps you want. This is where I take a moment to delete any caps I don’t want in my gif, that way you don’t bother loading them into photoshop and making it take longer than it needs to. 

MAKING THE GIF

You’re gonna open whatever version of Photoshop you’re using. I hilariously still use CS3 to make gifs because the next script I’m gonna run doesn’t work in the free download that I have of CS5, but that’s what you get sometimes when you don’t pay for stuff. Hopefully whatever more recent version of PS you use, you have no problems.

Go to File > Scripts > Load Files Into Stack...

This window will come up. 

Hit “Browse” and locate your capture folder. Highlight all your caps and press OK. You’ll see them all come up in a list as shown above. Press OK again. Your caps will start to load into one big stack of layers. This will take a minute or so.

When it’s all loaded in, you’ll see them all stacked in your Layers window (Windows > Layers). You’re gonna open your animations timeline (Windows > Animation) and click the little drop down button in the top right corner of the window and select “Make Frames From Layers”. 

Click that drop down menu again and hit “Reverse Frames”. Click that drop down menu again and hit “Flatten Frames Into Layers” (this is so our sharpening action will work later). Click the drop down menu again and select “Select All Frames”. All your frames will be highlighted. This is where you’ll set your animation speed. Under each frame you’ll see “0 sec.” Click on that and select “Other”. Type in your desired speed. I usually go for 0.04 if it has a lot of frames. For less frames, 0.05 or 0.06. This is honestly entirely up to your preference. I actually made myself a photoshop action doing all these repetitive steps so it saves me a few precious long seconds of clicking around over and over. I just run the action after my caps are loaded. If you make gifs a lot, I recommend it.

Next it cropping. The reason I don’t crop right away after the files are loaded into a stack is because I like to see where the subject in the gif moves before I decide where I need to crop. I don’t want to accidentally cut anything off. The subject might sway in and out of frame or be off center if I crop it blindly before seeing exactly where the object moves around. So I’ll play the gif first to see exactly where to crop.

Anyways, you’re gonna set your desired width x height of your gif. I’m making this a big gif so you can see the details better. 540 px is Tumblr’s width for big horizontal gifs. If you’re making a photoset with two gifs side by side the width for Tumblr is 268 px.

Go ahead and crop your gif. It’ll resize itself as well. Play the gif back so you can see if anything gets cut off or it’s not where you want it. You can undo the crop and do it again until you’re satisfied.

Here is what my gif looks like animated and cropped. 

As you can see, it plays nice and smoothly due to our screencap settings from before in KMPlayer and with our set gif speed (I used 0.05 here).

Next is sharpening the gif. I use a sharpening action that can quickly sharpen up to 120 frames. You can download it here. Open the action by going to File > Open and locating the file. It’ll be added to your Actions window. (Window > Actions if you can’t see it.) In order for it to run correctly, you have to have the first frame selected on your animation window, as well as “Frame 1″ in the layers window. Just like this:

Click the play button on the action and wait a few seconds for all the gifs to finish being sharpened. For any gif with less than 120 frames (which I hope is always, good God) a pop-up will come up when it reaches the end of the frames asking you if you want to stop.  Click “Stop”. 

Tip: If you think you want to delete more frames, run the sharpening action before you do it. Otherwise you’ll have to flatten your frames into layers again. The first frame and the “Frame 1″ layer should always be the same (the little eye will appear to the left of the layer to let you know it’s visible when you have that specific frame selected) otherwise the action won’t work. 

Here is what my gif looks like now that it’s sharpened.

COLORING THE GIF

This is where all the fun (or pain) comes in. All your coloring will be done by using Adjustment Layers (Layers > New Adjustment Layer). I usually go in the same order of adjustments, but this is where personal style comes in and you do no have to do it in the same order I do. You can practice with this part all you want and see how you like to do it.

I start with brightening the gif first and fixing the white balance if a scene needs it. I chose this video specifically so you could see this next handy trick that a lot of people don’t even know about. It’s a dark scene and the white balance makes the subject look quite blue. 

I can fix this by starting with a Curves layer. By clicking the third eyedropper tool, you can go and click on a white point in your gif (in this case, I clicked on a white square on his shirt) and bumped up the input number a bit for a little contrast (optional). My curves look like this. Click OK.

My gif now looks like this.

It’s much better, right? The white eyedropper tool will become a lifesaver sometimes, but it’s not always needed. 

Next, I go in with a Levels adjustment to do some more brightening. This is all up to preference, but you can play around with this. I typically like to add more contrast with this layer. I just adjust the sliders until I’m satisfied.

Here is my gif now.

Onto yet another brightening layer. Brightness/Contrast. A couple teeny tiny more positive numbers and I now have this.

Next is Selective Color. I wish I could explain this in a way that makes sense, but this is the layer that takes a bit of practice getting down and boils down to how you like the colors in your gif to look. I personally don’t like a lot of yellow in mine, so I focus a lot on the Yellow and Black sliders in each specific tab. I start in the Reds, then Yellows, Whites, Neutrals, then bump up the Blacks a tiny bit.

Here is my gif now. It’s a bit more cool toned, which is what I like.

Next I’ll go in with a Color Balance layer and play with the Midtones and Shadows. 

Here it is now.

This is usually my last step unless I want to adjust the brightness again (which I do), so I might go back into my Curves and Levels layers to bump it up.

And you can totally stop there, but I would like to mention a few more optional layers to add depending on your gif. If I wanted more saturation, I would add a Hue/Saturation layer at this point, but I think it’s colorful enough so I’m not going to.

Another layer you can use is Gradient Maps. 

Setting a black and white gradient map overtop your gif and setting the layer to Soft Light and lowering the opacity to your heart’s desire (you might need to go to the little drop down menu in your animation timeline and hit “Match Layers Across Frames”) can give your gif a very contrast-y look like this.

Or you can change the black color to something else for a different tone, like a dark blue.

Here is my final gif. 

If you want to add a caption to your gif, you can do so with your font of choice (Arial and Calibri are good) and add Stroke or a Drop Shadow to it by going to Layer > Layer Style. You can make sure the text is perfectly centered by clicking on your top frame layer under all your coloring adjustments, hitting Select > All, then clicking your text layer again and going to Layer > Align Layers To Selection > Horizontal Centers. Then hit Select > Deselect and go to your little drop down menu in your animation timeline and click “Match Layers Across Frames”.

Here is what it looks like with a caption.

SAVING YOUR GIF

Go to File > Save for Web & Devices...

A big window will come up where you can preview your finished gif by pressing the play button on the right hand side. In the bottom left corner will tell you what size your gif is. Tumblr’s gif limit is a whopping 10 MB, so we’re good. 

Your gif settings should look something like this. 

We always want to keep all colors at 256 (the highest). Lowering this number will make our gif file size smaller, but also decrease the quality of the gif itself. If your file size is more than 10 MB, I recommend going back and deleting some frames or making some more curve adjustments. Some users also like to set their gif to “Adaptive” instead of “Selective”. This is up to you.

Click Save and you’re done!

[lampoest]

Unfiltered thoughts watching mission impossible rouge nation inspired by @chaotically-cas

(sorry its so long my brain is all over the place)

this is also part 14 of me watching it every day :/

CURSING WARNING !! ALSO SPOILERS !!!

why is brandt first to speak

starting out with "shit" good call benji

brandt man we get the package is on the mcfucking plane

badass luther 10/10

nervous benji 10/10

that one sound effects sounds like the discord notif

why he in a fancy suit

*jumps on a plane with almost no plan on getting inside*

why did tom cruise think this was agood idea?

but like why would benji even open the ramp?

how is he not winded from that?

classic ethan

THE INTRO 1000/10

SOLOMON LANE !!

wait you can already see lane in the record shop.

how do they tell the agents these little convos?

also damn way to give it away

what if someone just looked in that room and saw the secret message?

also how did the disc get changed? because the imf definitely didnt make that

and how did lane know where he was going?

speaking of lane---

dang that man is pretty

he always sets guns down carefully

i can only see alec baldwin as trump from his snl skits so i dont take hunley seriously ;-;

damn brandt needs to step it up. man keeps letting himself be inturrupted

bruh the imf is only luck

why did no one resrict his legs?

also why is janik such an asshole?

dang she cool !!

why does it take janik so long to get that gun?

bravo-echo 1-1

this man is bleeding but decided instead of taking care of his wound he calls brandt.

i like how you actually see ethan worried and confused trying to plan his next moves. he is rarely caught off guard so it's refreshing to see his more human side

hunley spitting accusations damn bro

also a big fuck you from ethan to hunley

dang ethan is good

brandts little hidden smile

and ethan leaving trails

bitch how you sketch that good???

STAN BENJI !!

youve won, your way out of a job

benji is good

my little brandt x benji shipper in me is happy

simon pegg is such a good actor

the first time i saw this i was like: aww noooo

all dunn with that

TO THE OPERA !!!

TUX BENJI TUX BENJI

i cant tell if that was ethan

it just looks like youre talking to yourself thats more sus than using a phone

want drama? go to the opera

ok but like if you look like that im sorry you are a bad guy. thats like a stereotypical bad guy face

benji-

you can see ethan in the background of that scene

flute gun flute gun

oh no benji is in the closet. dont worry man we love you

if i were there and i just had a good vantage point i could find lane in an instant

ooh ilsa pretty

pipe gun

also pamphlet computer

those key things are cool and plausible

spiderman spiderman does whatever, ethan hunt can?

a W O M A N

what W O M A N?

reminds me of a marshmallow gun i made out if pvc pipes.

why does she not put that thing back?

also the dude loads it and then later it is unloaded

dang that guy is pretty tall.

ethan is so tiny

dis bitch is like uhh gimmie a sec to catch my breath mate

why he only dropkick people?

only 30 mins in ?!?!

the cinematography is exquisite

yes benji goin sicko mode

*gets shot* just a flesh wound

bruh i would've been so startled at that

i love how confused he is at that

ilsa saves ethan once again

they did this on the first day of filming

skdjs

ah yes random package in car = not bomb totally

if she tried to shoot benji then yes she is a bad person

but she didnt try to, she could've easily but didn't

benji being paranoid

she could just say the dude's name

benji being scared

hunley jumping to conclusions

brandt actually cares yeey

why di they approach from different sides of the street they were in the same car.

benji was far away from the sparks why he flinch?

friendship goals

oop plot dump that only mission impossible can get away with

ok...

why this mf's voice so smooth

lane is struggling with chopsticks

also lane :))))

ive chocked on my water so many times watching this scene

lanes voice :))))))

SHE RUINED HIS SUSHI WHAT THE FUCK ILSA

this man dont know what personal space is

gotta look up these peeps mbti types

casablanca references

also benji is wearing dollar store lookin glasses while ethan is wearing some fancy glasses

luther is top notch

as much as i dont like jeremy renner he delivers these lines really well

because atlee is a bitch

oh honey please, impossible is a walk in the park

benji just wants to wear a mask

id be so nervous walking through those

yes...

personal wellbeing who?

why not bring a plastic bottle full of air?

tom cruise can hold his breath for 6 minutes and he learned to do so for that scene

luther big brain

damn cctv

why did they need to break in while benji was going in?

das sus but ok

also isnt et voila french?

she just randomly tapping the ipad

benji being stressed

if he missed the exact center

i want one of those to open my locker's lock

if he just went with the current and didnt try to force his way against the water ilsa wouldn't have had to save him

imagine if he put the wrong one in-

she is breathing heavily to over saturate her body with oxygen so she can hold her breath longer

see ilsa makes it out without well and she went with the current

BENJI'S OUTFIT YESSS :))))))

no you didn't

you gave her a false sense of security

ethan's confused face for the next like 10 mins is great

liar

why does that one man look like sean ambrose?

parkour

skdjdksjdjdkfjs

the facial acting in this

STAIRS STAIRS STAIRS

the glare yesss

vrrrm vrrm

hey its you !

drivin like a grandma

shit !

benji just screaming

im convinced that ethan is indestructible

no you didn't survive that

bonk

dskfh

ethan didnt just-

also why didnt benji just tell ethan he made a copy ???

dont shoot and drive kids

high speed motorcycle chase with no helmet or leather. tom cruise, how?

i wanna learn how to drive a motorcycle

HOW THE FUCK IS HE NOT DEAD YET ?!?!

the lighting

ofc brandt would be the person why sits backwards on a chair. fkn bi vibes

benji to the rescue

fuck off atlee

i am so proud of us ...

the lines are done so well here

benji lookin like how i look when my parents argue

YES THIS SCENE

LANE LANE LANE LANE LANE

im too fucking gay for this movie-

once again no personal space

*inhales* :))))))))))))))

ive like memorized the entire script of this including the music

1 man performance of m:i5 ???

benji's outfit

also i love how youre able to see the characters in the background. props for the attention to detail

i need that haircut because his hair is lookin A+

fuck you atlee

ilsa spitting straight facts

uhh ilsa he still loves julia

NO BENJI NOOOO

EW FUCK OFF JANIK NO ONE LIKES YOU

speak of the devil-

betrayal--

WOULDNT YOU LIKE TO KNOW WEATHER BOY !??

actin sus

BENJI LANE BENJI LANE

his posture shdhskhsj (i cant be talking though)

0 personal space whatsoever

why does everyone have the same haircut in this???

simon mcburney pretending to be hunt prentending to be atlee

manipulation !?

the syndicate you say ? i know a thing or two about them 😼😼😼

damn though renner delivers these lines really well

a black tie? how informal. ..

complimenting hunt right infront of him

but he really didnt

i never realized that they were on the clock for this

huh...

the lil head nod though-

HAHA YEAH FUCK YOU ATLEE

is it bad that i hate atlee more than i hate lane?

ethan big smart wrinkle brain

janik just reading a fucking magazine

ethan has a photographic memory

oh look its benji :)))

lane :))))

ethan being tough

it must be aquward to get the low angle shots

lane is running out the clock to put pressure on ethan hmmm big brain

it isnt working though :\

damn he so cocky that hes telling the villain his plan

ill give you 1/5 of the money you wanted to get my bf back

ok but like does tom cruise just not age?

kill the woman

ugh i hate janik

the trust that is shown between those two is great

yes the score and the chase are so great

also this man really hates windows for some reason

fuck off janik

sneaky sneaky

EYY ITS LANE !!!

yeyy janik is dead

once again dodging bullets and hating glass

couldve killed him but needed him alive

the glass box

badass ethan

all the pretty men assembled

lane really let himself go aster this

dang though lane is my favorite villain ever

i like how for once the girl and the guy just are friends instead of romantically involved

eyy the callbacks to how the movie started.

welcome to the imf