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melminli · 4 months ago

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Dirty Cash (Money Talks)

summary - you had nothing against your colleague, but you weren't stupid enough to be fooled by his innocent smile and appearance since you knew exactly what kind of corrupt person was hiding behind that costume. after all, you were wearing the same one.

pairing: (gong yoo/ji-cheol) the salesman x fem. recruiter reader

word count: 1.4k

contains: talk about gambling + death and murder, sexual tension?, crack and just evil morals tbh

a/n: i watched maybe the first fifteen minutes or so of bullet train, but i thought of the two funny dudes from it while writing this bcuz their dynamic was funny af. also, i will use the actor's name in this fic since the character itself doesn't really have an official one that was mentioned in the series!

You straightened your tie with your free hand while watching your train approach from the side. The station was always pretty empty at this hour, which saved you the jostling and squeezing as you entered. After that, you sat down comfortably with a light sigh - next to the free seat beside your devilishly handsome colleague. “Are you alright? Don't tell me that you had a exhausting day?” he asked you worriedly with his typical innocent smile on his face but you've known the guy for a while now and you knew exactly how dishonest he sounded right now.

You returned his gaze for a second, uninterested, before turning it back in front of you to observe your surroundings from the window. “Exhausting day? Don't make fun of me or I'll punch you in the face,” you replied monotone and Gong Yoo didn't doubt your statement for a second - or Ji-cheol as you preferred to call him since you weren't a big fan of nicknames. “I had a great time punching those bastards in the face one by one. It feels kinda therapeutic, so I'm actually feeling pretty good right now,” you told him, talking about the subject as if you were talking about the weather.

Your colleague grunted with delight at your good news. “And I would never disagree with you on that.” he said and then just watched your figure silently for a while before speaking up again. “Since you're in such a good mood, would you be willing to play a more private game between the two of us?” he suggested, making you look at him in utter disbelief.

“A private game? With you?” you repeated, amused and laughed in his face. “Hell, no. But don't worry, I'll let you know next time I want to get totally screwed by a freaky pervert,” you added, your voice dripping with sarcasm. Which will be, never.

“Come on, don't be like that,” he asked you sweetly. As sweet as the wolf who pretended to be the mother of the seven little goats before he ate them all one by one. “It's just a tiny, harmless game. It's been so long since we've played anything together.” he complained to you earnestly as if you actually cared, and you didn't.

Yeah, you remembered the last time very clearly, even if you would much rather prefer that you didn't. You hummed. “Is that so? Huh. I mean, it could be because you almost killed me in a fucking game of tic-tac-toe the last time, but that's just a theory.” You said with a shrug, clearly still resenting him for that. However, he just rolled his eyes unaffected by your grudge. “But you didn't, right? It was the other guy who got the bullet in his head.” He replied, not even remembering his name. Not that he had to.

You just glared at him while you rubbed your forehead. “Yeah, maybe. But I'm tired of risking my life just because it makes you horny and you can jerk off to it.” You made your feelings on the matter clear. “You know that the whole living on the edge of death thing isn't really my cup of tea. At least try to understand me a bit here, too.”

I suppose she's not entirely wrong, I could give it a try. I never thought about it like that before, did I? He thought to himself in his head as he ran his tongue over the back of his teeth while he pondered. How selfish of me. “So what exactly do I have to do, to convince you?” He asked you while he already had a few ideas in mind.

You grinned. “You know that very well, don't play dumb.” You demanded as you leaned closer to him so that he could hear what you were singing softly. “Money talks, money talks - dirty cash, I want you, and dirty cash, I need you, oh ~”

He raised an eyebrow, not particularly surprised. “So you want to play for money?” He repeated it, not outright rejecting your request. “Don't you have enough of that already? You're really insatiable when it comes to cash and now you want mine, too?” he joked just to get you worked up.

Though, you didn't get the slightest bit offended by what he said. “Can you ever have enough money? Besides, I'm not forcing you to give it to me, am I?” you said with a smile, already knowing that he would agree to your terms. “But if you want me to play with you, I want eight million won for every round I win.”

She's so greedy for someone who is already more than wealthy. “Aren't you exaggerating a bit? Most people don't earn that much in a month,” he continued his act of - whatever this was - because he just loved arguing with you.

“So? We both have the same salary, I know you can afford it,” you said, holding a hand in the air as soon as you felt that he wanted to stretch this unnecessary conversation even more. “You have to decide now what you want to do or I withdraw my proposal again.”

Gong Yoo closed his mouth and started grinning even wider. “You don't even want to know what kind of game I want to play?” he asked curiously, nodding and accepting whatever you wanted as soon as he saw that you actually weren't interested. You couldn't even imagine how gladly he gave in to you at this moment. “All right, I agree with your request.”

You stood up with your briefcase in hand after your station was announced. “Good. Text me when you have something in mind, I'll be there as long as it fits timewise.”

Your colleague continued to watch you with a look on his face that used to make you more than just uncomfortable back in the day - though, it didn't even bother you in the slightest now. “You don't want to accompany me to the...office?”

You smiled while the train started to slow down. “Au revoir, Ji-cheol.” you just said your goodbye to him and stepped out of the doors. You didn't even spare the poor guy a second glance when he waved his hand at you from the window. She can be so heartless sometimes, he thought to himself, even if you were like this pretty much all the time. I'll have to think of something good to ask for in return should I win. I'm definitely not going to hold back when there's this much money at stake.

You didn't give a second thought to anything as you made your way home after a day's work like any normal citizen would do. However, your steps slowed considerably when you noticed a beggar in your field of vision and even though the rest of the crowd ignored the man and his entire existence, you couldn't help but focus your full attention on him. You looked at your watch, I've been off work for a while now. But even then, you couldn't help but notice that he was one of the people on your list to recruit for the game. He'll still be here tomorrow, but I don't mind another round of Ddakji. I love money more than anything - but I'm not doing this job for only that.

“Excuse me,” you spoke to the man with a polite smile on your face, and he only submissively avoided your gaze as he listened to you. After all, one rarely approached people like him and why would they? He held his cup of loose change out in front of him, probably expecting you to give him a small donation, but you wanted to give him so much more than that. Even if the guy didn't know it right now - you wanted to give him another chance in life, so that he wouldn't continue to be just a miserable failure.

You ignored his donation cup. “I was wondering if you might have a moment because I'd like to make you an offer,” you continued politely and the man met your gaze at that. Yeah, you were really looking forward to what was about to happen - after all, you were known for letting your opponent only win if you allowed them to.

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navybrat817 · 2 months ago

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Hold You Tight: Part 21

Pairing: Club Owner!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Fic Summary: The owner of The 107th wants you to be his girl whether you like it or not.

Part 20 | Series Masterlist | Part 22

Chapter Word Count: Over 3.4k

Chapter Summary: Bucky shows you something after the doctor looks you over.

Chapter Warnings: Aftermath of physical assault, tension, mention of violence and threats, inner turmoil, Bucky Barnes (he's a warning, okay?), more warnings to come.

A/N: More Hold You Tight and I feel like this chapter is short. Thank you again for sticking with me! Bucky edit by the beautiful @nixakimbo. ❤️ Beta read by the lovely @whisperlullaby but any and all mistakes are my own. Divider by the talented @firefly-in-darkness . Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog new fics and notifications. Comments, reblogs, feedback are loved and appreciated!

Bucky rubbed your back, occasionally whispering sweet words when you didn't speak. After your exhausting cry fest, you resorted to sniffles and sighs. You wanted to hide away, which seemed cowardly. It was only fair after what you went through, but you also wanted to face the world. You were torn, and it was tiring.

“Hey,” Bucky whispered when your eyes slipped shut. “I know you're tired, but I need you to try to stay awake for me, okay?”

“And for Dr. Cho,” you said. It was probably good to stay awake in case you were showing any signs of a concussion. What sort of questions would she ask? How involved was she in Bucky’s world? “Where's Curtis?” you asked. You owed him a thank you at some point. Ray and Steve, too. Messed up situation or not they deserved a bit of your gratitude, right?

“He’s waiting to bring her up.”

“I’m surprised you didn't have Ray bring us back,” you commented. You were used to him being the one close by, and Bucky didn't seem to bring a lot of his other men around his place. At least not that you were aware of.

“Between you and I, Curtis isn't a huge fan of most of my friends. The less time he spends with them the better his mood is.” If you didn't know any better, you’d say Bucky sounded amused. You were also curious why Curtis still worked for him if he didn't like the crowd he ran with. “But he’ll go to the club with me later. He deserves to get the first hit in since he pulled that bastard off of you.”

Your stomach turned, but you felt better knowing he wouldn’t force you to go to the club considering he didn’t even want to say Clark’s name. “What are you going to do to him?”

You didn’t mean to shiver at the frost in his eyes, but you did. How could a look be so cold? “I’m not sure you want the details,” he replied. You weren't sure you wanted to know either. “What I can tell you is that he’s going to suffer and wish he was dead.”

You shivered again. “How am I meant to get used to this lifestyle?” you asked. You followed the rules of society like a normal person, but Bucky made his own rules. He wasn’t afraid to use his influence or violence to get what he wanted in life. He was almost shameless in it and how he manipulated people around him. That wasn’t you. It could never be you.

“We. How are we meant to get through this,” he corrected you. “And we do that one day at a time,” he said, like it was so simple.

“Aren’t you already used to this?” you asked. It was the life you imagined he grew up with thanks to his dad.

“I’m used to my lifestyle, but you’re out of your depth and I’m not used to this as being part of a couple. I’ve been selfish in how I’ve tried to ease you into this,” he said. You tried not to gape at him since he hadn’t eased you into anything at all. “But you’re home now and we’ll figure this out.”

“Does figuring things out mean you brush off what I ask for? Like going to work tomorrow?” you asked. It wasn’t wrong of you to want a normal day. Weren’t you owed that much?

He sighed, but it wasn’t out of annoyance. “I wasn’t trying to brush you off, Kotyonok. You went through something terrible tonight, and I thought staying home to rest and relax was the better option.”

You pondered his words. Maybe he wasn’t trying to control you now that you were home. He was concerned for your well being. “We have to find common ground,” you whispered. It was already going to be a life sentence being by his side, and you couldn’t live your life as a prisoner.

“Is that really a discussion you want to have tonight?” he asked, pressing a kiss to your forehead when you glared. “I’m not saying that to insult you or dismiss your feelings. I just think tomorrow might be a better time to discuss it so we can both process everything.”

You didn’t want to say he was right. So much of what you had been through was because of his actions, but he was frightened by what happened, too. “I do want to say that Natasha offered to teach me self defense, and I think I’ll take her up on that.”

“You want Natasha to teach you?” he asked.

“Yeah. No one ever put their hands on me like this before and I want to be able to defend myself if it happens again,” you explained, hearing Bucky’s swift intake of breath. Maybe he could keep you safe, but you needed to help yourself however you could. “Natasha or one of her girls teaching me will be better than some guy.”

If some guy put you on your back the way Clark did who knew how you’d react. The way Bucky’s eyes darkened he didn’t want another guy touching you either. “As long as I can teach you how to use a gun and a knife.”

“A gun and a knife?” you asked before his phone went off.

“That should be Curtis and Dr. Cho. I’ll be right back.”

Turning your gaze toward the ceiling once he left you alone, you tried to quiet the sudden screaming in your mind. You wanted answers from Clark, from Zemo. You also fought the urge to tell him to quickly come back. Why was his presence suddenly soothing when you were still so upset?

You sat up when you heard footsteps followed by a gentle call of your name. “Hello. I’m Dr. Cho.” The gentle but strong voice matched the demeanor of the woman who entered the room. Bucky followed a couple of steps behind, and Curtis lingered in the doorway. “I understand you've been through quite the ordeal this evening.”

“She was attacked,” Bucky snarled, moving beside you again as the doctor set her bag down. “That’s a lot more than just some ordeal.”

“Bucky,” you whispered. The doctor meant no offense or harm.

“Of course. My apologies.” To her credit, she didn't look the least bit afraid or put off. She was either used to Bucky’s antics or used to difficult patients. “Can you please tell me your name and date of birth?”

You answered the question easily, but didn’t say anything else as she checked your heartbeat and blood pressure. She wasn’t your normal doctor, so it wasn’t like she had access to your medical records. Did she?

“And can you tell me what happened tonight?”

Your eyes flickered to Bucky and Curtis. Both were watching you with a mixture of anger and sympathy. “Well…” It took a moment to really begin. “Cl… A man was waiting for me when I got back to my apartment. I told him to leave, but…”

“Breathe,” Bucky whispered, taking your hand and silently urging you to continue whenever you were ready.

You wanted to breathe normally and not think about Clark or anything else.

Dr. Cho didn't take her eyes off you. “Would you prefer to speak with just me?” she asked, cutting Bucky off with a single glare when he opened his mouth to argue. “I know you didn't put your hands on her. I just want her to be comfortable.”

“It's okay,” you said. Even if you wanted to speak to the doctor alone you knew Bucky would hover nearby. “He grabbed my wrist and yanked me back hard enough that I fell to the ground,” you continued, showing her so she could look it over. “I may have hit my head when that happened.”

She turned your wrist over, looking for swelling or tenderness as you tested your mobility. It didn’t hurt as much as it had earlier, which had to be a good sign. “Have you been experiencing any nausea? Trouble thinking? Sensitivity to light?” she asked, getting a small flashlight to check your eyes.

“No, I think I’m okay,” you replied.

“Did anything else happen?”

“He choked me,” you said above a whisper, skipping over the fact that he put a hand on your thigh. Nothing had actually happened.

“Everything he did to you, I’m going to make it a hundred times worse,” Bucky said through his teeth.

Curtis took a step into the room at that point and your nerves crept up when you glanced at Bucky. His nostrils flared and his metal hand curled so tight so you hear the gears turn. You squeezed his hand in the hope that it would ease some of the tension. Maybe it was to soothe the both of you.

“Breathe,” you whispered.

Anger remained on his face when he took a deep breath. You didn’t think he’d fully calm down until he took his aggression out on Clark. And what about Zemo, if he was really involved?

“I’m so sorry that happened to you,” the doctor said, handing you a tissue before she checked your throat. When did tears fill your eyes again? “Are you experiencing any chest pains? Difficulty breathing?”

“I’m fine,” you whispered.

“And the man who did this to you, is he-”

“I’m handling it,” Bucky said, leaving no room to argue.

The doctor barely concealed a sigh, the only crack in her cool demeanor. “Understood,” she whispered, finishing her exam. Maybe she was aware of some of what Bucky did, but didn’t approve. “No broken bones or anything of that nature, but you may feel sore tomorrow. Do you have any allergies?”

“I’m not allergic to pain meds if that’s what you're asking.”

“Well, I recommend you rest tomorrow. If you start to feel anything out of the ordinary, I want to know right away so we can take you to the hospital if necessary.”

You sighed. If the doctor was telling you to rest, there was no way Bucky would let you out of the penthouse for work. “I’ll rest tomorrow.”

“And could someone please get her a snack and some water? I’d like to make sure she can keep food down,” she said.

“I’ll get it,” Bucky offered before Curtis could move.

Dr. Cho leaned in a little once Bucky left the room. “Is there anything else you want to tell me? Anything at all?”

Her voice was quiet, casual, but there was something in her eyes that said she wasn’t just asking about this incident. Was she trying to help or was this a sick test to prove your loyalty? With Curtis nearby and being in Bucky’s penthouse, you wouldn’t risk it. “I just want to get some rest and recover from what happened,” you answered.

The doctor nodded after a minute. “If you do want to talk-”

“I got your favorite,” Bucky announced, deliberately inserting himself between you and Dr. Cho. “So, she’s okay by your standards?”

“Yes, overall,” she said after a moment. “But I want to make sure-”

“I’ll make sure she can keep food down and I’ll call if anything changes,” he smiled, nodding over to Curtis. “He’ll show you out.”

You furrowed your brows. Why was he dismissing her so swiftly after making such a fuss over having you looked over? “I appreciate you taking the time to come here. Thank you.”

The doctor gave you a smile as she packed up. “You’re very kind,” she said, daring to look at Bucky again. “I’ll be expecting a call if anything changes.”

Bucky’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. “My girl is a lot stronger than she believes herself to be, but I take her health very seriously. If something changes, you’ll know.”

Tension spiked before the doctor gave you a nod and brushed past Curtis. The man quickly turned to follow her, leaving you and Bucky alone once again. “Do you have a problem with Dr. Cho?” you asked.

“No, I don’t. She’s one of the best doctors there is. I think she has patched us all up at some point,” he answered, bringing the snack to your lips and smiling once you took a bite. “But she’s similar to you in a sense that she has a good heart, so she isn’t always comfortable with some of what goes on.”

That could’ve been why you sensed that she wasn’t just asking you about this evening. Maybe she was looking for a way to help. “Do you trust her?”

“I trust that she’ll do what she’s told,” he replied.

You had trouble swallowing the next bite at those words. People were under his thumb whether they wanted to be or not. “From the little I know of her, she seems like a good doctor.”

“Always seeing the best in everyone,” he smiled. That wasn’t going to change. “Can I show you something now that you’re home that’s kind of important? I can carry you if you can't walk.”

You raised an eyebrow. “I think I can manage. What would you like to show me?” you asked. If he pulled his pants down…

He made sure he had the rest of the snack and water in one hand, helping you up with the other. “Do you remember how I said last night that I didn’t want you wandering into the den because I was having it redone?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. You hadn’t gone off to explore anyway since you went to the living room and ended up riding his thigh.

“Well, it was pretty much done. Before I beat the shit out of the guy following us this morning, I had one last finishing touch done,” he explained, slowly walking you down the hall. “Are you feeling okay? It doesn’t bother you to walk?”

“I’m fine,” you said, almost forgetting that he had already beat someone up today. It seemed so long ago. “But I don’t understand why you’re showing me this if I should be-”

He pressed a finger to your lips. “Close your eyes, Kotyonok. Please.”

Taking a breath, you let your eyes close and gasped when his lips touched each eyelid. You let him take your hand and guide you forward. And wasn’t this how it had been since the beginning? Doing what Bucky wanted even when you fought it?

“Open your eyes,” he whispered.

It took a second for your eyes to adjust to the brightness in the room. Your heart swelled as you looked around, the warm glow making you smile. Books lined the walls, and the couch and chairs were tailored to your comfort and style. There was even a nook by the window and blankets.

“You…” You blinked away the sudden tears.

Bucky’s face fell. “I promise I’m not trying to overwhelm you. I only wanted your day to end on a good note for you.”

It was meant to be a good day, and a wonderful time with your friends. “You built me my own library?”

“I wanted you to have a sanctuary in our home. A space just for you,” he explained, running a hand along the back of the couch. “None of my men are allowed in here and I have to ask permission before I come in.”

Your mouth fell open. Was he serious? “So, if I want to be alone and I come here, you can’t come in if I say no?”

He nodded solemnly. “If that’s what you want.”

You could hardly believe it. Was this space truly your own? “It’s beautiful,” you said, taking another look around. For a second, you felt like you were living in part of Beauty and the Beast. “Thank you.”

Bucky beamed at you, almost as bright as the light in the room. “There’s one more thing,” he said, setting the water and snack down. He pressed a discreet button by one of the shelves, which opened to reveal a metal door.

“Is that…”

“It’s a panic room,” he said, pressing four numbers into the keypad before that door slid open. “When I had the penthouse constructed, it was one of the first things I had put in. Can never be too careful, right?”

You slowly looked around. “So, you redesigned the room connected to the panic room to give to me?” you asked.

“I told you your safety matters above all else,” he said, holding a hand out for you. You took it after slightly hesitating. The fact that he gave up what was likely one of the safest rooms in the entire penthouse in order for you to have a sanctuary made your head spin. “I had the combination changed to your birthday.”

You took a look inside, your mouth falling open again. You weren’t sure what to expect, but the space looked like another small den. It had a couch, a television, a fridge and microwave. It even had a bed.

“You really are prepared, aren’t you?” you asked.

“Prepared, yes, but I had nothing to lose before,” he said, lifting a hand to cup your cheek. He barely grazed your skin, almost testing to see if you’d flinch. “I have everything to lose now.”

“Am I really worth that much?” you asked. More than the power he wielded, more than his wealth?

He leaned in and your heart raced, but you didn’t feel trapped. Not this time. “You’re worth everything and more,” he whispered.

“Boss?” Curtis called out from the hall before Bucky could kiss you.

You dipped your head down, both of you letting out a breath. “I should finish my snack and get some rest,” you said. You needed it. “But, really, thank you. This is very special to me.”

It didn’t make up for what happened, but maybe it was a start of something new. You didn’t want to dwell on that tonight. You were too emotional, too tired, too vulnerable.

“I want you to be happy here,” he whispered, opting to kiss your forehead since your lips were out of reach. “I should see what Curtis wants.”

“Oh, I want to say something to him,” you said, pulling away from Bucky before he could stop you. “Curtis?” you asked, spotting him just outside of the den.

The man leaned against the wall with his arms crossed. “Yeah?”

“I just wanted to say thank you for helping me tonight,” you said. He looked stunned. Did Bucky or the others not express gratitude toward him? “I don’t know if I can ever repay you for that.”

“Nothing to pay me back for.” He cleared his throat. “Just doing my job.”

You smiled softly. “Do you like brownies? It isn’t much, but I do make a decent batch of brownies and it would be a small token of gratitude.”

Curtis and Bucky both looked stunned. “You’re offering him brownies?” Bucky asked, glaring at the other man. “I haven’t had her brownies yet.”

“I like brownies,” Curtis said.

You smothered a giggle when the dangerous man pouted. “Oh, don’t pout. I didn’t say you wouldn’t get any. Curtis just gets the first try,” you said, poking Bucky’s arm. “And maybe I haven’t had a chance to make them because you’ve been so busy tailoring my schedule to your liking.”

“I like her, boss. She’s a keeper.”

Bucky breathed through his nose. “Why the fuck did you call for me?”

“Thor’s getting antsy.” He rolled his eyes. “Wants to know when you’re heading over.”

“I can’t leave you by yourself and I don’t want to drag you to the club,” Bucky said.

You knew he wouldn’t leave you alone and there was no way he would leave Curtis or Ray or another man there with you, at least not tonight. “What about Natasha? Can she come over? If not, maybe I can get a nap in the club office.”

“But-”

“You said for them to shut the club down, so it’s not like music or the lights will bother me. And this way I’ll be close by,” you said. And it wasn’t like they’d beat Clark up right in front of you.

“Maybe,” Bucky said, flexing his fingers when his phone went off. “If that’s Thor…”

You could hear his teeth grind as he read the screen. “What is it?”

“It’s Zemo,” he said, your stomach dropping. “And he wants to talk.”

How long before Bucky answers Zemo? And what do we think of the library? Is he leaving you at home or taking you to the club? ❤️

Masterlist ⚓ Bucky Barnes Masterlist ⚓ Ko-Fi

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inkivaari · 1 month ago

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I need to see more conquest with wifey!

Conquest reacts to his baby's or how he reacts to you treating his baby's softly?

Is he relieved or disappointed his kids are going to have a soft side? Maybe he's really fucked and gets jealous😭

𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚋𝚊𝚋𝚒𝚎𝚜 (𝚠𝚒𝚏𝚎𝚢! 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛)

a/n: anon i love you so much, yes yes yes i kiss your mind mwwwwwwwwah! disclaimers: sexual content, childbirth mentions, f! reader, pregnancy kink, lactation kink, violence mentioned, conquest being sweet but in a fucked up way but its okay we love himmmmm

you're in labour for what feels like days, it's a chunky baby even for viltrumite standards. conquest refuses to let his child be born anywhere else. no, you're doing this at home. he does have the sense to abduct provide you with a midwife, but he never lets her leave his sight. he sits beside you in solemn silence, watching. even when you try to joke, and tell him he's not going to like what he sees. he glares back at you. there's no way he's missing a moment of this.

his firstborn child is a son. he was slightly disappointed that it wasn't a daughter, one he could watch grow up into a smaller you. yet, when he saw his child, when he saw his son's eyes open and they were yours, when that bundle began to whimper and cry, and his woman held it close to her exhausted little body, weeping softly herself but with that beautiful, angelic smile... he cried himself. made no excuse, made no apology. never brought it up again.

conquest takes care of you and his son over that bumpy first month. he does so without complaint. nothing is off limits, nothing is too much, nothing bothers him in the slightest. you two were the centre of his universe now, and he who had never had anything for his own, not truly, took ownership with pride. you will want for nothing, his wife in his bed swaddled up with his baby, well fed, calm, happy.

that isn't to say that he's not selfish. it doesn't take long for his loins to ache again, used to being pleasured by you every night. but no, he knows not to press the issue with you, knows that little body like the back of his hand, and knows it must rest and heal. will that stop him lusting for you? absolutely fucking not.

he fists his cock with any item of clothing he can get from you pressed up to his face, his sensitive nose filled with your scent, drool staining the fabric as he bites down into it to muffle his grunts and groans. you were sleeping beside him, after all. you needed your sleep. but that didn't mean he'd deny his own needs, primal and obsessive as they were.

his favourite clothes to do that with were your nightshirts. you'd be all embarassed and whiny when you'd be sitting playing with the baby on the couch and your engorged breasts would begin to leak and stain your comfy tee, hiding them in the laundry basket bundled up with the other clothes so as to hide them from his view. hilarious. he scented them out right away when he was doing the laundry later that evening, and hungrily bring it to his mouth, even the slightest taste of that sweet wifey cream made his cock stand up...

the jealousy began to trickle in after that grace period. he could hardly stand it, seeing you be so soft with that baby. he watched you kiss its little head, squish its cherubic cheeks, hold its tiny hands with a finger and sing little silly songs to it to make it laugh... you had been like that with him a few months ago. there was a time where all you'd do is cling to him for the whole day, naked up against him, whining and giggling as you climbed all over his big body, yowling playfully for attention. but his little kitten was so consumed... too busy being soft with someone else, even if that someone else was half of him. more than half, if we're thinking about the dominance of viltrumite genes in hybrid offspring.

he grumbles disapprovingly when you babble back to the baby, when you tickle its little belly, when you cover it with raspberry kisses as it squeals and smiles... you're indulging weakness, that's his excuse. in reality, he doesn't care if his children inherit the softness of their mother, they're still his progeny, they'll be killers anyway, it's written into their dna to conquer and crush. he's learned that caring for your loved ones only makes indulging that destructiveness all the more satisfying, when you're doing it for a purpose. what he does care about, what eats him alive, is that you're not giving him that softness anymore. the bitterness, the despair, the loneliness that plagued him for centuries, it all comes rushing back. and it gets to a point where he has to leave for a while. days at a time, to let out his anger that he'd never lay upon you in a million years, but had to get out. he slaughters thousands upon thousands, he levels skyscrapers, brutalises and tortures and conquers. until that rage leaves him, and he can go home, exhausted enough to fall asleep beside you without a thought.

but when he returns one night to find you sitting up in bed, weeping softly, he pauses in the doorway. the cot was no longer in the bedroom, you must have moved it to the nursery at last. you look up at him with those wide, wet eyes, and you crawl to the end of the bed, mewling and crying softly. you missed him, where did he go, why did he have to leave, you were so lonely...

it hits him then. he'd been neglecting you too this whole time. consumed in the caretaking, silent for most of the day, only using his voice to reprimand you for being soft, the thing he loved the most about you... and then he'd left you in the house by yourself while he selfishly dealt with his anger instead of talking to you, paying attention to you like you desperately needed him to...

...he could scent your ovulation, too. it had returned, your body was ready to be seeded again. his precious kitten, so beautiful, growing evermore heavenly as a mother...

and so he holds you close as he makes love to you, over and over again, holds your trembling body to his as if you'd fall apart without his touch, explores your body as if it were the first time he'd seen it, worshipping at his wife's altar once more and finding joy in all the new sensations and softness... he caresses your broad, fertile hips with disciplined, reverent hands, maps out the changed walls of your vagina, as if he were acquainting himself to your perfect little pussy all over again, and he finally, finally allows himself to latch his lips to your engorged nipples and savour your most holy milk, liquid gold on his tongue... you were the most perfect, most incredible living thing to exist in this pathetic, inferior universe. you had made life from within yourself, and you had done it for him... the least he could do was worship you for the rest of your lives together.

and of course, give you another. his cum pours inside you many times that night, and the next, and the next... until your son is introduced to his little sister...

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i wrote this instead of going to a lecture i need to be shot......... thank you again anon i need to go lie down...

#conquest x reader #conquest smut #conquest x you #invincible #invincible smut #old man lust #hooooo #im on my period rn this hit different...

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devotedlyandrogynousyouth · 6 months ago

Note

genuinely tweaking over your OlderBF! Bruce headcannons omg. do you have any more Older BF! Bruce thoughts to spare? (I adore you and your writing <3)

I alwaysss have more Bruce thoughts to spare. I think this man takes over my mind more than my boyfriend does (not complaining :) )

OlderBF! Bruce Wayne (Part 2)

Sensitive content: Brief mention of kidnapping and stalking

OlderBF! Bruce Wayne who is so utterly devoted to you. This man is at your side and obeying your every will as often as he can. You saw a pretty dress you wanted in a shop window? It's laying on the foot of your shared bed when you come home. You need attention after an argument? He's cancelling his work meetings, if he can, to spend a bit of time with you.

OlderBF! Bruce Wayne who underestimates just how loud and angry he can get. There is never a moment where he isn't stressed, even when he's with you. And, as much as he tries to hold back, he loses his temper so easily with you.

"Im just saying, Im concerned, alright-?" You start, arms crossed over your chest as you take a seat on the edge of your lavish shared bed.

"What, that Im cheating?" He snaps back almost immediately, head whipping around to face you as he stops pacing. In all honesty, he regrets it as soon as he sees the look in your eyes, but he's far to stubborn to ever admit that.

"Bruce, you know that's not what I mean." You respond softly, choosing not to further escalate the situation by simply laying back on the bed and picking up your book from the nightstand. "You come home every night covered in bruises and disappear out of nowhere, so forgive your girlfriend for worrying about you."

OlderBF! Bruce Wayne who would rather you think that he's cheating on you than spilling his guts about being Batman. It absolutely kills him inside every single time you get misty eyed askinf if he's cheating, but he knows better than to risk your safety with the burden of knowledge.

OlderBF! Bruce Wayne who, god forbid, if you were ever to get kidnapped due to his line of work would push you away for good. All of your stuff would be packed away before you could even calm down for the situation. He wouldn't give you a proper goodbye, either. It would be too risky for him to ever be near you again.

OlderBF! Bruce Wayne who would absolutely develop a nasty habit of stalking you after a separation like that. He tells himself that it's to ensure your safety when he watches you walked into your favorite coffee shop every morning, but he's having a hard time convincing himself.

OlderBF! Bruce Wayne who knows just how unloveable he makes himself. Every woman he has ever been with has either been put in danger because of him or left. He doesn't think he could go through something like that with you, so he instinctively pushes you away like he always has with everybody else.

OlderBF! Bruce Wayne who, despite what he told himself about keeping his distance, finds himself knocking on your apartment door late at night. In his hands are a bottle of wine, your favorite flowers, and gold sheet-covered chocolates.

"Im sorry." His eyes are filled with utter guilt as he glances at your exhausted features. Bruce didnt even give you a chance to process that it was him at the door before he started throwing out apologies.

And the most you can really do for a moment is just look at him, your eyes not entirely focused as you stare out into space a little. "Thought you told me to stay away." You mutter softly, trying to blink the physical and mental exhaustion away.

"I..." How could he even deny that? He did, in fact, tell you to stay as far away as possible for your own safety. "I know." He continues after a moment or two. "But I'm selfish... I can't stay away. I... I want to explain a few things to you, if you'd consider letting me in.

Of course, you caved.

OlderBF! Bruce Wayne who can't bring himself to look you in the eyes as he explains himself and his nightly activities as Batman. He feels so guilty about ever putting you in danger in the first place, but he can't bring himself to stay away like he eventually learned to with Selina.

"I was scared." His quiet, honest response when you ask why he never chose to tell you about his double life. You want to be mad, you really do, but his fingers in your hair as he holds you against his chest after a few glasses of wine was just too good to resist.

"And you think I wasn't?" You ask softly, craning your neck to look up at him a lottle better. "I could handle the thought of you with other girls, Bruce..." You whisper, leaning your head back onto his shoulder. "But you have no idea how worried sick I was seeing those bruises every night. You have absolutely no idea how worried I was that they had gotten to you, too, when they took me."

OlderBF! Bruce Wayne who lets himself get a little tipsy that night with you, which is rare because he always finds excuses not to drink to stay in peak physical condition for his duties. Neither of you drank enough to be intoxicated, but just enough for everything to feel warm and fuzzy. And enough for you to forgive him.

"So sorry, gorgeous..." He mutters between slow, lingering kisses. Despite seeming so brooding and tough, his lips are absolutely divine and you missed them more than you'd ever admit.

OlderBF! Bruce Wayne who ends up getting a little frisky when he's drinking. His hands are almost everywhere, no matter where you are. You were honestly thanking god that it was just the two of you relaxing in your apartment. Hell, he practically had you seeing god with how well he fucked.

"I love you so much..." His eyes are closed as his hips slowly slot into yours yet again, face buried into your shoulder. Normally, you'd be begging for a bit of a quicker and brutal pace, but everything was just too sweet to want anything else. The prolonged sliding of his cock into your weeping hole allowed for you to feel absolutely everything, including his utter adoration and love for you.

OlderBF! Bruce Wayne who tries to keep you away from the paparazzi as much as possible after the kidnapping. Sure, he hated the prying eyes of tabloids trying to disect your relationship before, but he was just so much more paranoid and anxious afterwards. He barely lets you out of Wayne Manor without him or somebody else in the family.

OlderBF! Bruce Wayne who still struggles to communicate with you, even after he's told the truth about his vigilantism. He often finds himseld lying to you without even noticing it, even about the little things like how many thugs he took down on last night's patrol. But he tries to work on it, he really does. He's started writing things down on scrap pieces of paper or notebokks that he found himself being dishonest about.

Masterlist

#batfam #batfamily #batman #dc #bruce wayne x reader #bruce wayne fanfiction #bruce wayne fluff #bruce wayne smut #bruce wayne #batman fanfiction #dc comics

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dutchiepoo2 · 2 months ago

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John Marston x F!reader:

Relationship Type NSFW hcs

idk what I'm doing. please leave feedback. -Jelly

minors dni.

If you're not in an established relationship:

The way I see it, John is not super promiscuous, but he is kind of... easy... I guess? He's not going to chase after you. He's awkward and a loner-type, and has kind of shitty self-esteem despite his bravado. Why would he waste his time if he knows you'd reject him anyways?

You are going to have to be the one to convince him to go to bed with you. (I use the term "convince" lightly, because if he's interested in you, all you have to do is ask and he's stripping). He's going to be confused, but there's no way he's going to question it. He'll jump right in.

Doesn't like to appear vulnerable. Sex, no matter how you put it, is vulnerable in some way. So, he acts cocky, dominant, confident. He can kind of be a jerk in some ways.

He's easily excitable, and can move pretty fast. Kiss him once? His hands are grabbing at your ass. He will not engage in PDA, but will follow you into town, the woods, behind a wagon...

Doesn't have the patience to tease or let you tease him.

He defaults to being rough. It's what he knows. If you're not in an established relationship, he's not thinking about intimacy. He's thinking about pleasure, though not in a selfish way. If you tell him to chill out, he will, but he won't really know what to do with himself.

Very grabby. Loves to feel you up. He's big on hips, thighs, ass. Loves to dig his fingers into your skin and watch the flesh dimple under his fingertips.

John will also grab your face for the same reason. Loves to squish your cheeks together ;)

Because he's such an ass/hips/thigh man, he prefers positions where they're easily accessible. Doggy, prone bone, reverse cowgirl, anything where your legs are over his shoulders. He prefers to keep it impersonal.

Speaking of, he doesn't like to take off all his clothes. Why waste the time? He doesn't want you to see him.

But John will make sure you enjoy yourself.

He loves to kiss, lick, nibble, bite. Expect to be marked up. He keeps his mouth busy.

Speaking of--- when his mouth isn't on you, it's spewing the nastiest strings of words you've ever heard.

He pays attention to your reactions, even the tiny ones. Once he figures out your buttons, he'll keep pushing them until you're exhausted.

Loves to watch himself push into you. He fascinated by the whole endeavor: the way your body so easily accepts him, you reactions, the feel of you, the visuals.

If you're one to get really wet, enough so that he can hear it, he'll need to stop for a second and look away, lest he finishes before he even starts.

Once he gets his bearings, he's fast, rough. Grabs you by the hips or thighs and pulls you back to meet each thrust. Kind of a shallow-thruster. If you prefer it slower, he'll accommodate by grinding into you between each thrust.

Generally just very hot, dirty, wild.

Low key can get kind of mean when he gets caught up in being cocky. Might laugh at you for moaning too loud or acting too eager or some shit. Don't let him get away with that.

On positions where he's on top, he'll basically hold himself up on you. He's not technically pinning you down, but he's a big man resting most his weight on you. Good luck getting out of that situation.

The exception is that he might push your face into whatever surface y'all are fucking on. He might grab your hair, but he probably won't go for your wrists.

Not big into spanking, but he'll do it if you ask. Don't touch his bum. Ever hear a grown man squeak? Don't do it. He'll get pissy and sulk.

Will not finish in you, even if you ask really, really nicely. He had one accidental kid and won't risk another.

Aftercare is kind of mediocre.

He'll stick around and will get you water and a cigarette if you want one.

Forgets to help you clean up.

Won't be super into cuddling afterwards. That requires a bit more of an emotional connection for him. He might oblige, but he'll be awkward and want to leave.

He'll be back for more, though!

If you're in a romantic relationship:

John gets a little more confident when it's clear you like and want him. He needs to trust you quite a bit to let his guard down. When his bravado is tempered by his trust in you, he becomes a bit softer. He's gentler in both mind and body.

Most sexual preferences in the section above are still true.

HOWEVER, in this case, he loves you. He's more thoughtful than most give him credit for. He looks at you with more reverence, and is willing to act softer towards you in bed.

Most of the time, it's pretty similar to what you're reading above. On nights where he's feeling comfortable, (maybe a little buzzed), happy, or just appreciative of you, it'll be pretty different.

He'll initiate pretty often. He's a hot-blooded young man. Very hard to wear out.

Instead of grabbing at you, he might run his hands and lips along your skin, tracing the curves and creases of your body. He'll let his fingers map out scars and stretch marks and veins.

John is captivated by you. He recognizes that you might see these marks as imperfections, but he views every part of you as something to be admired.

He'll be a bit more patient, too, but still doesn't take as much time as he could before whipping it out. Please talk to him about this. He's just eager.

He'll be quieter. He'll still be talking dirty, but he won't be as nasty or mean.

If you'd like, John might let you take the lead. Just don't touch his neck or try to hold him down. That's a hard no. He'll shut down or get mad.

Loves cowgirl. He'll let you ride him for a while, just laying back and watching you with a lazy smile. He'll guide you by the hips (as always) and run his hands up and down your thighs and (gently) make fun of you when you get tired. It's his favorite.

He'd be more interested in positions that lets him see your face or hug you, too. Missionary, sideways, whatever.

If he's in a position where he can, he'll make out with you the whole time. I mean the whole time. He'll literally be grunting and groaning into your mouth. Thinks it's really hot when you do the same.

He won't go as fast. He'll focus on getting an angle that gets the best reactions from you. This is when he'll want to go deep.

Aftercare is better.

Still forgets to help clean you up.

MUCH more willing to snuggle after. In fact, he kind of needs it.

Loves to spoon you, but doesn't really love being spooned. Touch his hair... he'll forget about that real quick.

Expect lots of kisses to any marks he made, and low, rumbling laughs each time he finds a new one.

Nights like these actually wear him out more than the rougher ones.

#john marston #john marston x reader #john marston x you #red dead redemption #red dead redemption 2 #rdr2 #rdr #rdr x reader #rdr2 x reader #john marston smut #headcannons #fanfic

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mwahsol · 6 months ago

Text

What do you want from me?

Description: Constant arguments, ignoring each other, miscommunication, etc. After a big fight, you get tired and ask her a question that leads to tears and clarification. Anyway, enjoy(?)

“Say something, got nothing to say now?” She says as she thinks she's got the upper hand, but in the pit of her stomach, she can feel something brewing. Nerves? But what does she have to be nervous about, that blank look on your face? How does she feel like you're looking right through her? No, she's winning, so why does she feel like something bad is coming? No, she's just overthinking. Right?

It felt like hours passed of you just staring at her, why aren't you saying something. As she goes to say something, you beat her to it. “What are we doing?”

Time stops. What do you mean? She's at a loss for words. Her mouth feels dry, all of the words that she braked at you now are words that she regrets, why does her throat feel like it's closing up?

“Paige, what do you want from me?” You ask her. You can't take it. All of the fights, yelling at each other with no end.

“One day we're happy and can't get enough of each other, we kiss, hold hands, we’re in love one day then the next another fight starts and we go to ignoring each other.” There's no way that's true, is it?

“Y/n what are you saying” She lets out scared that she may know the answer.

“Paige, what do you want? Because this isn't healthy, this isn't a relationship.” Looking at you now she notices that you're crying, the beautiful eyes that she could look into forever are crying, and the faces that looks at her with nothing but pure adoration is stained with tears and exhaustion. The face that she holds with care so that she won't hurt you is red and puffy. How did she not see it?

“I love you, I love you more than I've ever loved anyone, I love you so much that it consumes me, it eats me alive, but I can't keep fighting with you. I want to be able to come to you and just love you and when we fight it can't be like this. So what do you want? Please I can't take it” Why can't she say anything? Why can't she move? She wants to hug you, she wants to tell you that she wants to fix this but she's stuck. Why? Why now?

You watch her; you can see that she's nervous, but you need an answer. You need to know. You deserve one. “Say something, say anything, fight for me, show me you care.” You scream at her in your head.

You had to ask, it's selfish but you had to, you can't keep going like this. Watching her panic hurts you, all you want to do is hold her and tell her that it's okay and that you're sorry. You could take it back but you don't want to. You need her to tell you even if you sound pathetic. For her, you'll more than happily be.

Why can't she answer? She looks at you like she wants to say something but no words will come out. Why now?

“Maybe we should take some time apart. A few days could be good,” you say, believing it could be good for you both.

“What? No no, we don't need that.” She rushes out scared that if you walk out of her dorm you won't come back. She can't lose you.

“Paige, you can't even answer me. I know what I want, I want you, I've always wanted you through everything, even through all our fights, I fought for you. I know sometimes it didn't seem like it, but I did it all for you. I'm selfish and want you all to myself, but you need some time to think. Maybe the space will be good. Come find me when you're ready to answer me. No matter the answer, I'll be waiting.” Before she can argue and try to make you stay, you collect your bag and shoes, rushing out, but before you kiss her, just in case it may be the last. You pull away to leave her dorm and close the door behind you, knowing if you don't, you'll turn around and run back. It's for the best, you tell yourself, so that maybe it comforts you.

She watches you. How could she stand there and watch you walk out? How could you have thought that space would be good? Why didn't she stop you? Why?

When you kissed her she couldn't react fast enough to kiss you back, if it was one second longer she would’ve kissed you back, she would've held on so that you could see that she needs you, that she wants you. She can taste your tears, even your tears taste sweet to her. Why couldn't she just have told you that she wants you, just you. You are everything she's ever wanted. If you were a drug she would never even think of quitting you.

She can feel herself slowly start crying, as she stands shaking and hyperventilating she feels her crying turn into sobbing quickly. Sobbing over you, the lack of your presence, your tears that she caused, the pleading look in your eyes begging her to just say something, how you rushed out quickly, the kiss that still lingered, how you closed the door before she could even think. She can still smell your vanilla perfume, and the coconut smell of your shampoo, even while you're crying you're still the most beautiful person she's ever seen. Paige Madison Bueckers is completely and utterly in love with you.

She's still sobbing by the time her roommates get home, the only difference is that she's now sitting on a couch trying to calm herself down. KK and Azzi rush over to her trying to ask her what happened. Aubrey rushes to the kitchen to get water while Ice asks if they should call you so that you can help. At hearing your name she's finally able to say something.

“No.” She choked out, “You can't call her, this is my fault.”

“P, what are you talking about?” Azzi asks because they're curious and worried when they walk into their teammate crying alone.

“We were arguing and after a while, she asked me what I wanted and I didn't say anything, why didn't I say anything, I was in shock because I love her so much and she knows I do but the words couldn't come out. Oh god, what if I lost her? Azzi, I can't lose her. I can't do it without her. She said maybe the time would be good and that she’ll wait for my answer but I don't need time, I want her.” She spits out while crying.

“Ok, ok, it's only a little bit of space for you both to calm down and gather your thoughts. She's not gone, and if she's willing to wait for your answer, then that means she loves you too. She's putting your relationship first by giving you time to think because even though she knows you love her, the relationship hasn't been healthy for a while, and she wants to make sure you want to work towards it being healthy, no?” Azzi relays, trying to show Paige that this isn't the end.

“Exactly, and if you mean what you say and want to work on your guy's relationship, this may be good so you can come up with a game plan. Try to see how this could benefit you guys.” Aubrey chimes in, handing her the water making sure she drinks it.

It makes sense but she can't help but be worried that when she goes to give you an answer you won't want it anymore. The rest of the night is a blur to her all she can focus on is how there's reminders of you scattered throughout her dorm. Your pillows and blankets on her bed, your hair ties on her desk because you always lose them and she finds them, perfumes you've left there that she smells whenever she misses you, your clothes lying around, your jewelry mixed with hers, books you've read on her bookshelf, polaroids of you decorate her walls and desk, some of your makeup in the bathroom along with your skincare, you're all around her. You haunt her, all that runs through her mind is how she misses you. She craves you. She prays for you.

Right before she falls asleep she vows you get you back.

You're not any better. As you get to your dorm you feel like you just got hit by a bus, you look like it. As you walk in your roommates see you and try to get your attention to check in on you but all you can do is walk to your room, wanting to be alone. You change into clothes that Paige left there. They swallow you but you don't mind. They smell like her. You can't bring yourself to do anything else, all of your energy has been sucked out of you. All you can think about is Paige, your beautiful girl, how could you leave her like that?

You had to, you love her too much to keep fighting back and forth with her. You exist just for her, you were designed to love her, you breathe for her, and if you could you would crawl inside of her. As your eyes start to shut you wish on every star that she comes to you and tells you that she's ready to fight for you. Every single star is worth her.

As you suggested Paige takes a few days to think, but not about what she wants. She knows what she wants but she wants to make a gesture to show you how much she wants you. Planning has taken her a while but when she was ready to act on her plan she had to almost beg your roommates to help get you out of the dorm. When she heard that you locked yourself in there rarely coming out except to eat it broke her, all she wanted to do was run to you and get on her knees and beg you to come back but she knew that she needed to make it special for you both.

You missed Paige like crazy. You were a bit sad that she hadn't reached out yet but in all fairness, you told her to take a few days and you may have turned off your phone not wanting to hear from anyone.

You slowly started coming out of your room more day by day, after four days one of your roommates asked you if you could get groceries later on in the day so that when she got home she could make dinner.

“Yeah, by what time do you need them?” You ask not wanting to be late.

“Hm probably around 6ish but if you don't mind could you go to the Target 30ish minutes away, I checked if the one near us had the protein powder I need and they don't but the other one does pretty please, I’ll owe you one,” she begs knowing you'll say yes but in reality, she's just trying to get you out of the house so Paige, her teammates, and your other roommate could help them with her plan.

“Yeah, sure, I'll leave like at 4ish, maybe 3:30, that ok?” Thinking about possible traffic, you give yourself some time.

“Yes, thank you so much.” She can't wait to start settling everything up as soon as she sees you leave.

As you check the time it reads 3:16, you get up and start getting a bit ready so you don't go out looking like how you feel, you shower in the morning so now it is just to do a bit of makeup and change. When you feel presentable you start collecting your things to head out.

“Kay, imma head out.” You gave them a heads-up.

“Ok, be safe,” they call out as you shut the door. When they see your car heading out from the window, they call the team to give them the green light to come over and start prepping.

As they start rearranging the dorm to fit the plan they hear a knock and come face to face with the all team.

“Do you think she’ll like it?” Paige asks nervously knowing you'll like it but needing a bit of reassurance from the people who are also close to you.

“You know she will, but hey, remember we know where you live, so treat our girl right, yeah?” Your other roommate tells her while bringing in some flowers, threatening her teasingly, she knows Paige would die before she ever purposely hurt you.

“Yeah, I know, let's get to work so we can finish,” she replies, confident in her plan.

When you're nearing your dorm you're a bit suspicious that you can't hear anything, usually, there's at least some noise from the TV or speaker playing music but it’s oddly silent. You ignore it just wanting to drop off the groceries and go into your room to take a nap.

As you put in your key and push the door open, you're greeted by roses, candles, and flower petals leading to the living room? As you follow them, confused, you see her, Paige, your Paige. Everything in your body wants to run to her and kiss her till you can't breathe anymore, you hold yourself back. The last time you saw each other, a lot of tears were shed, and she never gave you an answer. You had to respect that.

“What are you doing here?” You ask, wanting to appear calm, but in reality, inside, you were jumping up and down, just happy to see her.

“I never gave you an answer,” Paige says while looking at you trying to soak in your appearance. God, you are more beautiful every time she looks at you. Your hair that she could run her hands through, your face that is embedded into her mind, her shirt that you're wearing, how you can tell that it isn't yours showing people that you're hers. She could look at you forever and never get tired of you.

“Yeah, you didn't.” You turn to put the groceries in the kitchen, hoping to hide the fact that you're desperate to hear what her answer is. As you set them down, you come to stand in front of her, your soul focus is her. Even with all the roses, candles, and twinkling lights around you, all you can stare at is her. “Well, Paige, what do you say,” you need to hear her say it. It won't matter unless it is from her.

“Y/n, my sweet girl, you are the love of my life, you're the greatest thing that's ever happened to me, I'm blessed that every day I get to wake up next to you, and if I'm not next to you, I look forward to see you. You are the most enchanting person I've ever seen, since the first time I saw you, I never wanted to look away, whenever I play, I make sure you're watching me because I want to impress you and show you how hard I work so that one day when I go pro, you'll still watch me and get that beautiful smile when I score. I can't fathom the thought of ever not loving you. Baby, I can't even talk regularly about you, you make me dizzy with your near existence, I admire you every day. I soak up every detail about you. Whenever I'm not with you, I miss you, during my away games, when you can't come, or just when you’re in a different room, I miss you. For so long, my dream has been basketball then I met you, and I started dreaming about you. When people ask me about you, I cannot help but light up at the chance to talk about you, even coach has told me that my eyes light up when I talk about you. When I listen to older love songs, you come to mind. Every love song is about you in my eyes. I'd give up anything just to be in your presence. The first time you said you love me, right then, in that moment, I found out what heaven is. You asked me what I want, y/n all I want is you, I want you, only you, I want you entirely, no one and nothing else will work. I want to work on this with you, I want to do everything with you, I promise to be better with you, please, baby I can't be me without you.” While Paige went on with her speech, you started crying. You couldn’t believe how much this woman loves you, how much she adores you, how much she's ready to give so that this can work. She wants you just as much as you want her.

“Paige I want you so much,” when you say that she rushed to you, she crashes into you holding you like you could vanish into thin air, she holds you like she’ll never let you go. You hold her just as much.

While you both just hold each other in the middle of your living room, she can feel you laughing. “What's so funny, baby?” She asks curiously.

“Well, I kind of also have a gift for you, but I have to go get it from my room,” you say, legging go of her slowly to go get it, but she's holding you tighter, not liking the idea, “Yeah nah get it another time I'm happy here.”

You giggle, swaying your bodies, “I promise it'll only be like five seconds. Come on, my love.” As you tell her, you cradle her face, sipping away some of the tears that she let out while she was giving her speech for you. Now pouting teasingly, she nods but tells you to be quick. You rush to your room to collect a pink envelope from your vanity and come back to see her sitting on the couch, waiting for you with open arms.

“What's that?” She asks with a smile, having an idea of what it is. You climb in next to her while she wraps her arm around your shoulder you answer, “A letter I wrote for you.”

“Read it to me,” she says, laying her head on your shoulder, ready to hear you speak, you nod your head, opening the letter, and start reading it.

“P I was destined to meet you, I was destined to fall in love with you, I knew it as soon as you said hi to me and asked me if I knew where the theater was. I have loved you for three years, and I will love you for many more. I'll love you even when we're nothing but dust. I believe that we were made from the same star. I fall for you every day, I fall for your smile; your laughter is my favorite sound, and I could listen to your voice forever. You make me feel alive. You have shown me what it's like to be loved gently and have taught me how you love gently. I have memorized the shade of your eyes, how your hair feels, the warmth of your skin, every small scar on your face, your teeth, and your favorite perfumes, I even remember your heartbeat. I crave just to lay down beside you. I love you with every part of my soul. I cherish the nights when we cook together and just laugh. The small moments are things I will never overlook or forget. When your hands hurt, I want to hold them, I want to kiss them better. I want it all for you. I will forever support your dreams, I'll do everything in my power to help you get to where you want. To me, you're everything. If you wish to have a star, I'll steal one from the sky to give it to you. Anything you want, I'll give you. Paige, I love you more than words could ever describe.”

As you finish, you look and see her crying again, “I'm sorry, love I didn't want to make you cry.” You try to wipe all the tears you can.

“No, no, I'm just happy that we both are here together and in love. I never imagined that I could ever love someone this much. Y/n, you're it for me, you know that, don't you? I'll marry you one day and give you my last name that you can wear with pride.” She confesses, hoping you know how certain she is that she will marry you.

“I know baby, I'll proudly wear your name even now. You're it for me too,” you say while looking directly into her eyes so she can also see how much you want it to.

“Good, I'm so grateful for you baby.” You can't help but laugh a little that you were worried a few days ago that she didn't want this, “I'm grateful for you too.”

“Do y'all think they're good?”

“Probably those two are too locked in to give up.”

“Yeah, I was kinda looking forward to making dinner though…”

‘Shut up, let's go get food I’m starving too.” Both of your roommates knew you would work it out, but they weren't patient enough to wait for y'all to get done to go get food.

Soooooo, hey, you guys...anyway, I kinda have an idea for a fic, but I'm still working out a few details, and maybe I'll post it before I go back to editing my old work to be reuploaded. Omg also, I'm about to drop out of school soon to go to cosmetology, so wish me luck, ya girl needs it. <3

Kiss the sun🌞

#fluff #wlw #paige bueckers x reader #paige bueckers fic #paige x reader #uconn wbb x reader #uconn x reader #wcbb x reader

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quandledlngle69 · 28 days ago

Text

⸻ オリヴァ愛空 OLIVER AIKU. PART I.

TW; angst, tangled situationship, hurt, 'cheating', oliver feeling guilt, not proofread that well. w.c. 1.7k

Oliver Aiku knows you like the back of his hand.

he knows that almost anything makes you laugh, he knows your favourite makeup brand, your signature scent, the way you tuck your hair behind your ear when your paying attention to someone. he knows the cute scrunch of your nose when he teases you, he knows to always keep a hair tie on his wrist–with how forgetful you are. he knows how you prefer small, softer animals. he knows how much that dessert in that one restaurant means to you. he knows your favourite flower is the lily of the valley, because you like the way they droop and hang.

he also knows how your last relationship went, how it causes you to immediately shut down when someone yells at you. he knows how you go quiet when girls shamelessly hit on him, even when your standing right there. he knows that you know about the girls on his phone, in his dm's. he knows that he lets his mismatched eyes linger a little to long on other girls that aren't you. he knows the snarky, sarcastic, off–hand comments you make when he's annoyed you.

he also knows the slight trembling pout you do when your about to cry, the shaky loud exhale you do when tears start to brim your eyes. thats when he knows he's fucked up. he knows how he feels when your upset, particularly at him–his chest tightens, his stomach twists violently, and his smug persona dissipates into nothing.

he knows this is not a relationship, so why does it feel that way?

sure, he holds your hand in public, intertwined perfectly as if its supposed to be. sure, he always picks up food before heading to your apartment, knowing you'll jump and clap your hands with excitement. sure, one of your favourite bras is still hanging off his drawer. sure, he's never slept with you. not because he doesn't want to, but he feels as if he'd be taking something that isn't his. you've never slept with somebody before, he doesn't want to taint you all because he's selfish. sure, he likes kissing you. no, scratch that-he loves kissing you. he loves kissing you softly and gently, like a girl like you deserves. he loves the giggles that erupt from your throat when he blows raspberries into your neck. he loves your light–hearted complaints about his stubble, about how it tickles your skin.

he snaps out from his trance when he feels your hand shove something into his chest–his phone–before turning your back on him.

he couldn't imagine the dread and nausea you felt scrolling through the messages. he couldn't imagine the realisation you had when you figured out it was the girl he had told you not to worry about. he wished he could tell you it was only a shallow, lustful part of his brain. that it didn't mean anything. that she didn't mean anything.

but all he feels is that lump in his throat when you weakly ask him to explain himself. he looks at you like a kicked puppy, and you look at him like he's a stranger.

at his silence, you began to hastily shove things into your purse. and he doesn't stop you.

he's not gonna give you a cowardly excuse, no matter how bad the instinct is to do so. you already embody the word of exhaustion, you don't need his stupidity on top of that. the longer he watches you gather your things, the longer his lips remain sealed–the more he feels you slipping away.

given his history, you should have known better. you should have seen it coming. maybe it was the soft part of you, the openly trusting side that let him delve into the deepest parts of your soul, blind to the fact he would have just ripped it out in the end. you hated the fact you were dumb to assume those eyes only stayed on you, that his lips only caressed yours, that his hands were only fond with the curves of your body.

he fucking hates to see you cry, let alone sobbing so harshly. your mascara and lip gloss smeared down your face, some on the back of your hand from attempting to wipe away your blurry vision. you were dolled up for him an hour ago, he recalls how you once said you hated spoiling your expensive makeup. he wants to shoot himself in the foot when you gradually start to hyperventilate. the failed breathing exercises you were trying to do. you usually come to him. he usually calms you down. you usually place your ear to his chest, listening to his heart beat until yours syncs with his.

his hands itch to hold you. to squeeze you in his burly arms to ground you until your sniffles slow and your hiccups quiet down, but he knows he doesn't have the privilege anymore.

and before he knows it, your out the door. you stutter and blubber your last words, but he manages to figure out what you're saying:

don't call you. don't text you. don't try and contact you. he's just like the rest. that you should have known better. that you thought he was better. that your just a fool for thinking otherwise.

and then your gone, the only relief he has is that you got an uber. lord knows your not in the right headspace to drive all the way home.

──────────────────

the phone on his bedside table wouldn't stop ringing.

his unrestful sleep shattered as he shifts under the covers. he groaned in annoyance, kicking off his duvet. he rolled over as his hand fumbled in the dark–knocking off empty cups of noodle pots and snacks before picking up the light, rectangle shaped object. his thumb sluggishly taps on the green button, not even looking to see who it is before pressing it to his ear, answering with a hoarse and confused, 'hello?'

he immediately recognised sendo's voice, and the overlapping voices of his teammates in the background.

"captain, what the hell have you been up to? you've been ghost for days. we have a match soon and the teams in disarray without you."

oliver can hear the frustration and worry in his best friends voice, and he runs a hand down his face, because what was he meant say? was he meant to say that he's a piece of shit, that–

"–you fucked up didn't you?" sendo's voice was soft, almost as if he had known what oliver was thinking in the moment. he opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out, and the silence is filled with sendo sighing heavily on the other side of the phone.

"whatever you did, whatever she's found out, you've broken her. saw her the other day, actually."

oliver's heart skipped a beat, and he sits up straight in bed, listening and concentrating like never before.

──────────────────

{a few days prior.}

you had hoped that you wouldn't see anyone you knew. not like this, anyway.

you stared blankly at the shelfs of cup noodles in front of you, wondering deeply which one your stomach would allow to keep down. your limbs felt stiff from the days spent curled up, not moving unless it was for hygiene or to eat. you hadn't bothered to change, still wearing the matching baggy grey clothes from yesterday.

when you finally stop procrastinating and reach out to put a few noodle cups in your basket, you hear a familiar voice call your name.

your hand freezes where it began to reach out, your heart beat beginning to sharply beat harder then ever in your chest. you should have put your damn hood up.

you try and muster the most natural smile you could, looking up to the figure that had stopped beside you. your smile falters as you see the familiar salmon hair. its sendo, one of oliver's teammates and best friend. his own friendly smile drops when he sees your face. you looked so...miserable. your once sparkly eyes looked so dulled, the bags under them only convincing him of the lack of sleep you've endured. your cheeks were still stained with dry streaks of tears, your nose red and scrunched sore with every sniffle you took.

"uh-hi....." your voice sounds wobbly and frail, and you wince internally.

"hey-{name}, you okay? you look like you've been..." his words trial off as he looks up and down, biting his lip as if to stop himself from being insensitive. "you look–upset, is everything alright?"

your eyes dart away from his pity–filled ones, instead distracting yourself by playing with the sleeve of your hoodie holding the basket.

you don't answer him for a moment. your eyebrow twitching and your lips pressing firmly together in discomfort and irritation. because what where you supposed to say? that everything, was alright? because it wasn't–your anger, pain and heartbreak was like a wound that never stopped bleeding. that never stopped draining. even if it slowed down, even if it wasn't a huge gush, it still ebbed between your fingers, leaving their stains.

and his best friend was the cause of it.

"why don't you go and ask your, 'best friend'–maybe he'll give you an answer–or maybe an another one of his stupid fucking excuses."

you didn't mean to be so mean. you didn't mean to have your words so filled with distain–but it was like all the negative emotions spewed out like venom. even with the aggressive tone, sendo found it hard to not notice the quiver in your lips, the hurt in your features as you turned away from him, hastily walking off.

"wait!–do you know if Aiku's okay? he's been ghost for the past few days and the whole teams worried."

you stopped as for a moment, as you absorbed his words. was oliver just as affected as you were?

you shook your head. no. it doesn't matter how much despair he's feeling. he dug his grave and now he has to lie in it.

you don't answer sendo's question, instead just picking up the pace until you turned the corner, breaking out in a jog. ignoring his protests for you to wait, to come back, to talk to him.

you didn't want anything to do with oliver aiku. not anymore.

・. ★ Credit for divider.ᐟ; @.florescita

#bllk #blue lock x reader #bllk x reader #blue lock #oliver aiku x reader #oliver aiku #oliver x reader #.𖥔 ݁ ˖ shatteredconstellations

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jubilee40 · 1 year ago

Note

Can you please do relationship HCs for the jjk men? Ups and downs of being their partner lol

The Pros & Cons of Dating JJK Men ~ Gojo, Nanami, Geto, Toji, Sukuna, and Choso

📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿

Characters: Satoru Gojo, Kento Nanami, Suguru Geto, Toji Fushiguro, Ryomen Sukuna, and Choso

Warnings: Small Angst(?)

📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿📿

Satoru Gojo

Pros:

Satoru’s love language is touch, whether it's holding hands, grabbing your butt, or a kiss, Saturo can't help but have the need to touch and hold you when you are near.

Will always hype you up with anything you are doing, whether you're going out for a girl’s night or have an important work presentation, Saturo is here for you.

Satoru is committed to your relationship once the two of you are official, you are his number 1 priority besides his students.

Sexy time with your Satoru always leaves you overstimulated and exhausted. Becomes completely pussy-drunk as soon as he sees your glistening pussy.

Cons:

I personally don't see a lot of cons with being Satoru except that he can be an attention whore & has a flirty personality in general.

He may see himself as a loyal person who is 1000% dedicated to his S/O but you don't sometimes which feeds into your insecurities and causes unnecessary distance between the two of you.

Kento Nanami

Pros:

Kento is a true gentleman when it comes to his romantic partner. He's serious about respecting your boundaries and not doing anything intimate you aren't comfortable with.

He doesn't think of himself as a romantic but his actions say otherwise. Private dinners at high-class restaurants or a quiet picnic in the park, Kento will make sure everything is perfect.

Kento isn’t with you just for you to stay his girlfriend, he sees you as his future wife to whom he plans to propose to after 2 years of being together.

In bed, Kento Nanami is surprisingly (not) very expressive in the bedroom. He isn't afraid to slap or degrade you after he has your consent naturally.

Cons:

Kento has a set timeline of what he plans his romantic life to be life, which leaves you feeling a bit of pressure to follow it and weirded out that he has this planned out.

He can be too focused on working to take care of his future with you that he ends up leaving you feeling neglected as times.

Suguru Geto

Pros:

Suguru spoils you with praise and affirmations of his love. Enjoys seeing your cheeks redden with each confession of his love he gives you.

He’s protective, not possessive with you. Suguru understands that you need freedom but that doesn't stop him from wrapping his arms around you after seeing a pathetic male ogle you.

Suguru is completely secure with your relationship and knows you are too.

Sex with him is either gentle and poetic or downright nasty and sweaty.

Cons:

A major relationship con I can see with Suguru Geto is his arrogance. He would think he knows more than you do and believes you should just shut up and listen.

His sarcasm can also be something that you struggle with. Even though he doesn't mean to hurt your feelings you can't help but feel upset at his tone and response.

Toji Fushiguro

Pros:

Your relationship with Toji started off as friends-with-benefits that turned into the two of you dating without ever making it official.

Toji loves to grab your ass or tit randomly, leaving a blushing mess and telling him to stop.

He isn't great at communicating how he cares about you so he ends up buying you food and clothes (mostly lingerie) thinking you'll understand his intentions.

Since you and Toji were fwb first he knows what parts of your body to pay attention to have you creaming around his cock. Was a selfish lover at first but now loves seeing the tears run down your face from continuous overstimulation.

Cons:

Let's be real there are more cons to being in a relationship with Toji Fushigoro than pros, but I still love him.

He's horrible with money and will spend all his money on a boat race if he has a “lucky feeling”.

Toji may be committed and love you that doesn't stop him from knowingly flirting with other women, not to the point of cheating but just enough to boost his ego.

Ryomen Sukuna

Pros:

A pro to dating Ryomen is that if he's committed to you, he's COMMITTED to you. Wanna break up/divorce? Too bad.

Ryomen is extremely protective and possessive, not controlling but will have everyone know you're his girl.

Not really into PDA, besides having an arm around you or having his hand resting on your inner thigh. But when the two are you are home Ryomen is leaving hickeys and bite marks all over you.

Ryomen Sukuna is merciless in bed. You have 3 safe words letting him know if it's okay to keep going or if you need a break.

Cons:

Arrogance. At first, you didn't mind his arrogant attitude but now it pisses you off.

Ryomen loves teasing and “bullying” you, what you see is him being an ass, he sees it as flirting.

He sees you as his woman and his property who should bend to his will.

Choso

Pros:

Being Choso’s S/O has you feeling adored and appreciated. He truly falls hard for you.

Is a cuddle monster when the two of you are home. Your embrace is a true comfort for him.

100% loyal to you, Choso barely socializes with anyone besides you and his little brother.

In my opinion, I see Choso as a sub or switch. He prefers to be pegged and taken care of since he always looked after his younger brothers.

Cons:

You are not at the top of his list, his last living younger brother is his number one concern.

Since he isn't a big extrovert, Choso is fine with staying home which can be tiring after the fifth date in a row is a at home movie night.

~Taglist~

@samanthathesonicfan @pradaandlucifer @gojo-enthusiast @breely1284 @fiona782 @mrsgangorca @myfireangel09 @missroro @ohgosh0777 @Miss-Uzumaki @straymoon96 @melody13522 @itzgabz22 @jaselynorwhatever @savantsoulfinders @qtahmark @roseqzpd @innerghiblisoul @lovingsecret @0lissa0 @ike-bana @nycvalntyne @im-the-music-whore @kristaline2dmensimp @moonlittle03 @kurookinnie @renster05 @ifu-sayso

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jensettermandu · 11 months ago

Text

vampire - aeri uchinaga

genre; angst, fluff (not much), sfw

pairing; giselle x female reader

content; unhealthy relationship; poor communication, 'i can fix her' - aeri, 'hot and cold' - y/n, arguments, jealousy, and toxicity in general. 6th member of lsfm, 01' liner.

synopsis; aeri can't help but feel like she's in a relationship with a vampire the way her girlfriend bleeds her dry, but she also can't help but continue to feed into all of her whims and desires despite it feeling like she isn't getting a drop of blood back.

wc; 7.6k+

songs; big city blues - lil peep , risqué - cute is what we aim for , tragic girl - weezer , candles - juice wrld , your favourite dress - lil peep/lil tracy

masterlist

“I missed you,”

Aeri expected to hear the same words back, but she should have known better, however, Y/n was impossible to read most of the time. It had been over a year yet Aeri felt like she was at times still on the same page as when she first talked to the girl.

Y/N was impossible to learn because she changed more than the weather. Her girlfriend was hard to love, but even harder to understand for anyone, yet Aeri was putting her whole heart on the line and would always take a leap of faith for Y/n. There was no transparency to her, but there were cracks at times.

It wasn’t Y/n that messed up, but Aeri saying these words of affection after longing for someone she viewed as her other half. She shouldn’t have said that she had been longing after her. It wasn’t even metaphorical; a wall dropped down between them and Y/n was no longer in her arms.

“Yeah well, you wouldn’t miss me so much if you decided to spend more time with me.”

She forgot how cold the nights could get at times, especially when they weren’t in each other’s arms. The days ran busy and nights were used to suffice exhaustion and she knew that she had spent less time with her girlfriend. Y/n was high-maintenance as her friends had told her; Y/n’s friends included.

It didn’t help that they both lived in dorms and it did limit them at times.

Y/n was also hot and cold.

Their meetings felt almost like secret affairs which Y/n would complain about now and then. The quiet–in Aeri’s opinion serene and intimate–rendezvous after dark with just them and no one else around as they would walk along the sidewalks, talking, gazing, sharing a bond and intimacy.

The wind somewhat howled as it blew from the corner of the apartment building’s rounding. Aeri had yet to move as she watched Y/n’s slim figure walking away from her, the only small light being the one from the girl’s phone.

How much sacrifice was love worth?

Aeri wasn’t going to put a limit now; she was ready to go until she dropped dead with no heart left to keep her alive because Y/n had consumed it all; blood and flesh because she was aware of how selfish the girl could be. She could hand her her heart, but Y/n would grab her whole and rip her to shreds to fulfil her hunger; with Aeri possibly getting something back.

It didn’t end there because Y/n would then spit her right back out.

It was what she wanted in the end; for Y/n to just want her too, no matter how she wanted her as long as she did even if the girl didn’t want her after.

Could she blame Y/n? No. She was aware that her girlfriend had been through a lot, that it all led to walls being put up and that whenever something was off the smallest amount; new walls dropped. Aeri was willing to sacrifice for her love; she was stuck with the mentality of being able to help Y/n.

One step forward could at times mean ten steps backwards though.

It had been a long day, she should have been back in the dorm, sleeping, they were still promoting their new album. Aeri was drained as it was, but she was offering herself for Y/n’s sake.

“Y/n, I’m not in the mood to run after you tonight.” Her tone was somewhere between pleading yet firm, walking a thin line because she knew what the wrong type of tone led to.

“As if I could expect that from you.” She barely caught it and shoved her hands into her pants pockets, refusing to follow.

Her eyes stuck on the girl who was taking long yet languid steps, dressed in a black skirt, ripped tights, white tank top with a zip-up that was sliding down her shoulder. Aeri’s zip-up hoodie as she stood in just her t-shirt after giving it to Y/n.

How long did she stand still? Fighting the urge so she wouldn’t run after Y/n like she always did. It was as if something was pulling her after the girl, perhaps the invincible collar that Y/n had on her while at the same time, she tried to fight against its every tug.

She remembered what truly had pulled her towards the girl, to begin with, and what tied her to Y/n. It was physical attraction when she first saw her, then came the attraction after seeing how similar they were in interests to aesthetics and at last, she spoke to the girl and realised that she would fall.

She did.

Aeri walked right after Y/n because she wasn’t going to limit her love for the girl. There was no love without pain, right? Y/n was worth getting hurt for, she was sure that she could mend what was shattered inside her girlfriend, but it would only be possible if she followed her even if it was blindly.

“Okay wait.” She gave in at last as she took a few long strides towards her girlfriend, slipping her hand into Y/n’s. Maybe those constant texts and calls weren’t enough throughout the days; she could do more than text and call.

Her fingers intertwined with Y/n’s who looked at her with her piercing gaze, the one that devoured Aeri from the outside. However, it would eat long enough until she was consumed whole.

“I wanna take you on a date, I have a day off Monday.” She could make it up, she always did even if she wasn’t sure if there was much she had to make up for. Aeri would still do it for Y/n. It wasn’t like she could do much about her schedule, but there was always a way to give more than she already had.

She refused to let Y/n slip through her fingers.

The wall was still there and she knew that she needed to make up for it to come back down. Y/n would be distant, it would be cold, again, until those icebergs melted.

Y/n looked uninterested, her eyes vacant and Aeri always tried to occupy them. To fit into Y/n’s gaze, to reflect in her eyes and to feel seen. At times she wondered if Y/n’s heart at least sped up at times because of her, if it was even beating to begin with. How did someone manage to be so cold yet magnetise like a warm fire?

She reached her hand up to the girl’s face as the wind blew, fixing the loose strands of layered hair. “Fine–” She pursed her lips as Y/n moved her face away and dropped her hand. It did ache, it did make a fear run across her spine; how much did she mess up this time? When would she pushed away far enough by Y/n to lose her? Why was she always so apprehensive around Y/n? “I still want to go home, I’m tired.”

What had it been? 30 minutes since they met up? Aeri spent more time getting to the place together with getting back than she had spent with her girlfriend. It was still worth it. Those 30 minutes with Y/n were worth it. She had grown to realise that it was better to take whatever she got at times.

She had missed the girl in the end after the distance between them due to work.

“Y/n,” Aeri started as they stood face to face, Y/n’s gaze didn’t falter while hers had to wander away every three seconds. “I’m sorry, I promise to make it up to you.”

“I know. You promise each time.”

She swallowed down the heaviness of not being able to take care of Y/n like she wanted to and always tried to. She was only able to speculate what could be going through Y/n’s head at the moment or ever for that matter. It felt like she had never been let inside; it wasn’t a feeling, it was the truth. That was why she clutched the small crumbs dearly.

“I’m for real this time.”

“I’m aware.”

An awkwardness fell upon her, knowing that she made more promises than she could handle. She at times had to cancel because of work. She still made up every time, yet every time it still got distant from Y/n’s side.

“Are you mad?”

“No.” That meant yes, she knew that much about her girlfriend. Aeri would say that she was thankful that Y/n’s manager pulled over by the curb, saving her from any more opportunities to mess up again.

She couldn’t just let her go like that, “I love you,” she reminded and for a moment she hesitated. Aeri leaned in and got the cheek turned to her which she settled for. “Yeah, love you.” The words felt thrown and she was fully aware that Y/n was mad at her despite all her efforts to see her amidst her busy schedule as the car drove off.

“Awh, that’s so cute.” Yunjin cooed, being quicker to the gift by Y/n’s makeup spot than the girl herself. The other girl walked around Yunjin and took her seat in the makeup chair as the green room was starting to crowd.

A cute black bat plushie, Y/n rolled her eyes, her hands reached for the small envelope stuck to it together with a blood-red rose. She opened it, somewhat already expecting what would be said. Aeri often sent her gifts, but the older tended to send them more often on these occasions.

‘I’m packed today, but I fixed everything for you, I will call you when I get home. Love you <3’

Aeri’s care was overwhelming and Y/n couldn’t figure out if she was overcaring, overdoing it just to fool her or if it was out of genuine care and love. It only filled up the balloon of anxiety and distrust towards her girlfriend instead of doing the opposite for Y/n. What were her intentions? People always had ulterior motives, didn’t they? Was anyone just nice to be nice?

Y/n knew what love was.

“What did it say?” Yunjin’s curiosity never subsided as she found herself more nosy than Y/n would deem acceptable.

“The same.” She mumbled, haphazardly handing the note to her side and the girl beside her took it.

“I think it’s the thought that counts, she could have just sent a text.”

Why would Aeri go out of her way? It only made Y/n run more leery.

It wasn’t the same words every time, but each time she wouldn’t be able to talk throughout the days she sent gifts and other things. Was it to make up for it? Y/n had no clue.

Y/n would prefer a short text over the care.

She reached for the plushie and looked over her shoulder at the glimpse of a shadow that passed them. “Eunchae–” The girl was cut short by Yunjin who grabbed hold of the plushie, catching the rose that was about to fall.

“No, you can’t just give it away.” She clicked her tongue and grabbed the stuff, the note included before she turned around and handed it over to a passing manager who would bring it to the car.

Yunjin was close with Aeri; she was the one who gave her Y/n’s number and was there when they first met as it was disguised as a casual hangout. She was the one who without Y/n’s knowledge possibly slipped up and mentioned that Y/n was high maintenance, but would also draw back despite wanting care. It was an accident. All in all, she was always there for Y/n as her friend.

“It’s only a matter of time until she retreats and leaves me to grasp for crumbs. It’s always the same.” Y/n muttered, looking over her nails, trying not to give into the overwhelming emotions that continued to fill the balloon every day. There was a reason to let Aeri close, but not too close, too close meant that she could hurt her if she let all the walls down.

“Why not talk to her about it then?” Y/n’s eyes moved up and looked in the mirror at Sakura’s voice who sat down on the chair beside her. They carefully moved to Yunjin for reassurance of what she thought about those words, but all she got was an unfortunate nod of agreement.

“About what?”

“Your insecurities, fears, the fact that you’ve had terrible experiences with your previous partners.” Yunjin started to list the things, not beating around the bush, however, her tone held genuine care and compassion to try and help her friend.

“So she can use it against me?” Was the first thing that came to Y/n’s mind at the suggestion, making the two older girls share a look; it wasn’t as easy as they wished it was. Y/n too wished it was easier, but when she found warmth and comfort behind cold walls, it was hard to let them down. If something happened before, what reassured her that it wouldn’t happen again?

Just because it was Aeri, didn’t mean that it couldn’t happen. Y/n was aware that she could never completely know someone; never 100% and that she would always have to trust her for her words. The issue was that Y/n couldn’t do that; trust gestures or words.

“Why would she do that?” Sakura genuinely questioned and Y/n got up from her seat at the call of her manager about food; yet another gesture of Aeri to make sure that she ate.

“I already regret telling any of you anything at all.” The girl honestly spoke as the help only got overwhelming because it left her in more conflict.

“That’s not very nice of you.” She pushed past Yunjin, ignoring her further complaints about being hurt as she grabbed Kazuha to eat with her instead.

Not let Aeri close enough to hurt her.

Aeri sighed and tossed her phone to the side, trying to figure out what she did wrong this time. At this point, she was close to believing that she possibly sent the wrong type of food to the girl. It was ridiculous and she was painfully aware of it yet she did nothing about it, but continued trying.

She couldn’t help the fact that she cared, being fully aware that Y/n wanted her to care even if it left her misled because of how Y/n also pushed her away.

The darkness in her room was lit up as she got a notification and she blindly reached for her phone.

: stuck at practice, let’s talk later

: ok, lemme know when you’re back

: Love you, take care and don’t push yourself too far

She watched as the message was read, but she got nothing sent back which elicited a groan from between her lips. The guessing game was impossible to win; did Y/n want her to care or not? Did she want an ‘I love you’ or not? If she did and Aeri didn’t send it to her she would grow cold, but if she didn’t want it and she still sent it, Aeri felt like a fool.

This was the girlfriend she wanted, this was the girlfriend she fed her every drop of blood to the way she sucked her dry and left her with no energy.

With the phone resting on her chest she stared at the dark ceiling, it was nearing midnight and all she wanted to do was talk on the phone with Y/n until she would doze off. All she wanted to do was make sure that Y/n wasn’t overworking herself and that she was fine, but she didn’t want to be too much at the moment. Aeri figured that Y/n needed her space after the staleness that grew after they saw each other.

In the end, guessing was all that she could do.

She was snapped out of it when the door opened, saving her from the overthinking that always turned melancholic.

Y/n learned that she could probably stare at the messages with her girlfriends for hours as she waited for an answer. It was past midnight and she was in the car with Chaewon who she had stayed behind with.

It had been a good ten minutes since she texted Aeri.

She didn’t have the time to reply earlier; at least that was her excuse to make herself seem less cold. It left her guilty otherwise because she did care, but how did she show that without having to be vulnerable? Without having to let her girlfriend closer?

Ten minutes of waiting for an answer.

Ten minutes too long.

She left the chat and opened her socials. The girl sunk into her seat, biting the nail of her thumb as she felt that green garden growing inside her. Aeri wasn’t obliged to be live on Instagram with Minjeong, ignoring her texts or at least not answering them. She didn’t like feeling jealous, it always made her melt into a miserable puddle that had no clue how to express it because of the susceptibility it made her feel.

She hated that one person was able to affect her this much. That one person was able to hurt her at any moment. That something this small could affect her at times.

At least an answer would make her feel better, but Aeri seemed too busy with her friend. Was it because she had accidentally let Aeri past too many walls? Her fingers wouldn’t be trembling from overwhelming emotions if she had kept her at arm's length. It meant that she had let her closer than she dared.

Grief turned to anger and Y/n could only blame herself for being vulnerable enough to get hurt by this. To get hurt in the first place.

Aeri knew that she was in shambles when Y/n hadn’t replied to her texts, she replied exactly 15 minutes later, and all her calls had led to the automated voicemail. She had gone to bed, barely able to sleep, without any goodnight or I love you, and there hadn’t been any answers in the morning either.

Her last hope had been Yunjin. Her schedule had come to an end at around 7 P.M. With still no answer from her girlfriend, she called Yunjin. Even though it wasn’t the first time that she had been ignored for hours, it still left her worried each time.

It somewhat irked Aeri to hear that Y/n had been at the company building the whole day and didn’t have more than the practice that ended at noon. It irked her that she had been ignoring Aeri without letting her know why, all she knew was that she somehow messed up. How? When? What was it? What did she do? She had to guess, again.

What irked her the most after her call with Yunjin was that Y/n was with Kazuha.

She wouldn’t have minded if she had at least gotten a single reply.

It wasn’t something she could help, but she had always been the slightest bit jealous when it came to Kazuha. Oh how much she hated it, to be jealous of someone who was Y/n’s group member. However, she felt like she had every right to hate it and be pissed about the proximity of Y/n and Kazuha’s relationship.

What was she angry about while sitting in the back of the car? That green mixed with red, angry about how the girl was always there when Aeri messed up and was always the one comforting her girlfriend. Someone had to, that someone should be Aeri, but instead, whenever she wanted to apologise, make up for it, and be there for Y/n…Kazuha was somehow always already there, witnessing Aeri at her worst while soothing Y/n, making it look like she only knew how to hurt and mess up.

Far from the truth. She hoped. Aeri had managed to grow insecure as their relationship progressed; regressed would be a better term.

What hurt the most was that deep down she was aware that Y/n possibly didn’t trust her enough to find comfort in her.

All she wanted was for Y/n to open up to her. All she got was drained while watching her girlfriend open up to someone else about the problems of their relationship, but never to her. She had tried to bring them up, but it had always been a one-sided conversation.

“Does she think that I’m enough? I get shut out when I mess up, I get shut out when she opens up…I’m honestly so confused at times.” Aeri frowned, unsure where she got the urge to suddenly start spilling out her feelings to Yunjin. There had been a heavy feeling in her chest, she wanted to be perfect for Y/n, to care for her and love her.

“I’m not even sure how I messed up this time.” She somewhat exclaimed in exhaustion, her voice leaving that timid whisper-like tone, with her arms gesturing outwards before falling to her sides.

Aeri sighed to gather herself and not get too emotional, knowing well that Y/n and love were a sensitive topic for her because she loved her so much that she couldn’t love more. It was frustrating enough that she couldn’t show it in any more ways.

She stared at the metal doors of the elevator they were in and looked to her side as Yunjin squeezed her shoulder to comfort her.

“I don’t think it’s that.” Yunjin shortly replied, sounding like she may had an idea what it would be.

Aeri raised her eyebrows in question at the words. Yunjin looked off to the side at the numbers that went up about to reach the floor. She clicked her tongue and heaved a sigh–probably not in the position to make statements–she knew what it was in the end.

“It’s not because you mess up that she distances herself—” Yunjin started and took the first steps towards the doors that had slid open as she quietly finished, “it’s because you don’t.”

Aeri has put up with it, she had been standing in Y/n’s burning home despite being far from fireproof. She put up with the pain for Y/n, willing to stand in what was her home that was burning; Y/n’s whole world was on fire. Aeri wanted to put it out and help her see that just because the inside of a home was up in flames: it didn’t mean that everything outside of it was burning to the ground too.

It seemed to have a different outcome and her not messing up, showing how much love there was, only made the fire ablaze and out of control.

She wasn’t going to stop though.

A long pause came—a silence that no one breached for the next few seconds—when Yunjin opened the door to the room where Y/n was. Kazuha included of course.

Jealousy bubbled inside her, Aeri never wanted to be that type, but it was impossible when it came to Y/n. The small couch was occupied by the two, Y/n’s legs thrown over Kazuha’s and they barely made an effort to look at them until Yunjin called for the younger.

She felt stupid, but her heart knew what it felt and why it hurt, why it made her feel sick. She had too many feelings for Y/n to not feel like a part of her would rot every time she got jealous. It was ugly in the end, but she couldn’t help it when she saw someone she tried everything for open up within seconds to someone who wasn’t her.

She bunched up the material of her jacket as she watched Y/n lift her head from Kazuha’s shoulder who unwrapped her arms from around her waist. Her eyes fell on Y/n who was already looking back at her and amongst all this, at least her presence was acknowledged and not ignored, Aeri already felt foolish enough.

The door closed after they left and Y/n leaned back on the couch, crossing her legs as she looked at her nails while picking at them. She knew what was wrong, she knew that Aeri would show up at some point, however, she had hoped that she wouldn’t because it would be easier to stay upset. To blame her for something (anything) and push her away for it even if Y/n had wanted nothing more than to spend a day with the girl who sat down on the other end of the couch.

Arms distance was still better, wasn’t it?

“Why do you treat me like–” Aeri started but stopped, her lips pursed and she took in a breath, deciding to consider her words first. With a sigh she averted her gaze towards her girlfriend, barely being able to feel her presence because of the walls that the girl had put between them.

Was she supposed to get on her knees and beg for forgiveness? Was Aeri supposed to let Y/n tug her closer by the collar she had on her like always? To give in the way she always did. She had been patient for so long and nothing was working, the only thing she wanted was for it to work. It wouldn’t, not if she kept avoiding everything wrong for Y/n’s sake if she ignored it because Y/n didn’t want to ever talk about it.

She had been doing everything for the girl, but nothing for their relationship to actually work out like it should.

“I don’t like how close you two are at times,” Aeri admitted, deciding to be truthful, to be open about the ugliness that didn’t have to be there if they only talked about it.

She for the first time in the one year they had been together brought up a problem without beating around the bush; Y/n always ran away from all problems, especially if she tried to talk about them and it made Aeri look like a terrible person.

“It was fine for you to be all over Minjeong on live though, I wasn’t comfortable with that.” In contrast to Aeri’s calm tone, Y/n spat venom at her. She could see the walls growing taller by the second as it started right after she brought it up. It was always the same, nothing changed yet it always hurt no matter how used she was to it.

“I wasn’t all over her, plus we were live, obviously I will be a bit closer and you know it yourself Y/n. We are in the same industry.” Her fingers threaded through her hair, sighing at the emotions that were bubbling inside her chest. “What I don’t understand is why you would be so close to her when no cameras or fans are watching. I get it, but there is a limit even between friends.” In the end, Aeri wouldn’t mind, but it was a bit too much for her to be comfortable with it.

It could be mistaken; Kazuha could be mistaken for Y/n’s girlfriend and Aeri for her friend.

Y/n could feel the walls closing in on her, she had always found comfort in the walls she put up. These walls were ones that Aeri was pushing past and it was all closing in on her, leaving her with no room to breathe. All she needed was a way out before it would become overwhelming and she would be unable to breathe. Aeri was getting too close–arm's length, she was past that–and Y/n wanted to run, but her feet were stuck to the ground.

“Maybe because my girlfriend doesn’t have the time to give me what I need. I needed to talk to you, I wanted to be with you—” All her defences went up as she tried her best to crawl into her shell of safety in case Aeri managed to crumble her walls. “You were too busy being on a live you weren’t obliged to be part of.” The girl scoffed out, in disbelief.

Y/n hated how gently the girl was doing it, that she wasn’t wrecking them like everyone else had always done. All those times her walls were forcefully broken down and she was wrecked together with those walls. Why couldn’t Aeri wreck all her walls and her like the rest? Why couldn’t she hurt her and be familiar?

It made red lights go off in Y/n’s head as she stood up from the couch. One thing in mind: Aeri was coming in softly and would wreck her, ruin her worse than anyone else had managed to do because she would have Y/n in her arms when doing it. She would get close enough for it to hurt more than anyone had been able to hurt her because she would be on the inside.

Love had turned into logic for Y/n; this was like a trojan horse.

“You were too busy taking care of someone else, someone who you see every day.”

“I’m always there for you though, I just happened to be away from my phone for a few minutes and you made it a big deal.” She reasoned, watching the girl anxiously pull on the sleeves of her sweater. Even if the girl was a closed and locked book, Aeri could read Y/n when it came to certain things. She took her time to analyse the small details on the outside and the tiny peeks she got on the inside.

Enough to know that everything was burning on the inside. Enough to know that Y/n was doing everything to turn it around and make it easier for herself to push away Aeri again.

“Why do you invalidate my feelings, Aeri? You don’t know what I felt or what I feel and when I try to tell you about it, you say it’s the opposite.”

And she knew enough to know that it would start draining her again. Aeri didn’t want to fight with Y/n so she caved before she even managed to start. She felt like Y/n’s marionette, however, she was fully aware of how she was controlled and bent to her master’s every whim and desires.

“Hey–” She clicked her tongue and grabbed hold of Y/n’s hand, gently pulling the girl over to her. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like your feelings aren’t valid, they are and always will be.” It came with ease, to give into Y/n came naturally to her as she pulled the girl to sit down beside her on the couch. “I shouldn’t have said that.” She continued, being okay with being wrong as long as Y/n was there.

Y/n couldn’t determine whether or not she liked that Aeri gave in the way she did. She expected her to fight, to drill on until Y/n couldn’t defend herself until she was destroyed. No matter how much her mind told her to run, her heart melted as she got pulled into a hug. It was an embrace she had always needed from someone who was more than a friend, even if it was scary it was comforting.

It was hard to distinguish whether it was excitement or fear that she felt at the moment, but she loved the feeling. She loved Aeri.

Aeri rested her chin on Y/n’s shoulder, pulling her closer at the tickling feeling of the girl’s breath hitting her neck who ended up in her lap, sitting sideways. Her eyes glanced down and she intertwined her fingers with Y/n’s, caressing the smooth skin with the tenderness she had for her. This was all she wanted.

“I love you, Y/n.” She reminded her that all that she did in the end was love and care for her.

It followed with a small silence as she stared ahead at the empty wall, she wasn’t worried because she knew where Y/n’s heart lay. Not necessarily fully in her hands, but she could touch it with her fingertips and feel its pulse.

“I love you,” Y/n loved her even if she had yet to fully trust her.

Aeri lifted her chin as Y/n pulled back and she looked up at the girl in her lap, her hand caressing the small of her back. It was these moments where there were cracks in Y/n’s walls and it made Aeri’s heart speed up at the vulnerability she could see in Y/n’s eyes. It sped up because of the relief knowing it was possible to delicately get past those walls, but it also sped up in fear; knowing it was only a matter of time before that one step forward would end up with ten steps back.

She untangled her fingers and moved her hand over to Y/n’s face who this time didn’t pull away, but leaned in as she pushed aside her hair before cradling her cheek in her palm. Their eyes met, Y/n’s fingers fiddled with the baby hairs at her nape, her arms loosely around her shoulders.

“Is it okay if I kiss you?” She asked, not wanting to feel her chest tighten at the girl turning her cheek again. Her eyes glanced down at the full lips, the girl’s tongue coming out and poking at the corner of her glossy lips.

A mere ghost brushed past her lips when Y/n leaned closer before letting Aeri close the little space left between them. Y/n couldn’t deny that she loved how Aeri kissed her, how she held her, how she took care of her, and how tender and filled with love it all was. She loved how it made her heart go into a crescendo.

Yet Aeri cared too much—she had always been caring and it wasn’t obnoxiously so, but giving an abused dog a treat won't make it trust the person, it won’t probably touch it in fear that it is used to deceive to be able to hurt it after. It made the treat it so much wanted turn obnoxious.

She traced patterns over her back as they pulled away, fingers playing with Y/n’s hair as she admired her face from close, missing her girlfriend because she never felt like she truly got her. That distance strained them and made it difficult to stay warm in the cold.

“I just want this to work out.” It was a small whisper as if saying it too loud would harm them, but it harmed everything anyway. She could feel the mood shift in how Y/n’s body got less relaxed in her hold.

“It is working out, there’s no need to bring it up,” Y/n argued, liking it when they were like this. When they were in a spot where she could have Aeri right there whenever she wanted, but also put space between them whenever she wanted. It had worked so far; at least Y/n liked to think it did because it worked for her.

She wasn’t selfish enough to not notice that it was only working in her favour, that Aeri always gave in while suffering. However, she had been selfish enough to keep at it; to fill her needs and then disappear when Aeri offered a bit too much and she knew that she had to give something in return. To let her guard down.

“You’re choosing ignorance, Y/n. I don’t want that.” It was hurting Y/n as much as it did Aeri who didn’t want the girl to hurt when they chose ignorance. Aeri frowned and Y/n was slipping through her fingers again and the heat turned into cold as the girl moved away from her. She watched Y/n who placed her head in her palms, elbows resting on her knees while she took deep breaths.

“Why can’t you just choose to be ignorant for once too?” She wasn’t taken aback when Y/n snapped at her. The warmth was gone from her eyes and they were once again filled with that vacancy and anger to this time.

She knew where this was heading. ‘It’s not because you mess up that she distances herself, it’s because you don’t.’ She was aware of how Y/n always twisted everything until Aeri was stuck in a corner where she could only mess up because of the pressure of being put in that situation, to begin with. It was draining her; how long could she take this? How long could she put up with it out of pure love?

“Why do you always have to make things so complicated for no reason?” Her girlfriend continued as she looked at Aeri in disbelief.

It hurt when she only wanted the best for Y/n, for them, but maybe she didn’t know what the best was.

“I’m doing it for a reason, I’m doing it because I care about you, I love you and want the best for you, for us and we can’t have that if—”

Y/n stood up in frustration, cutting her girlfriend off, and not letting her finish. She didn’t know what to do with all that love and care she received so all that she could think of was to turn it away; to block it out. It made everything crawl inside her out of fear and Aeri did everything but understand that.

“What do you want me to do?” The girl exclaimed, turning around and gesturing with her arms that then fell to her sides with a thud. The anxiety was filling the room from the heaving breaths for air, from the way she paced and tugged at her clothes; nothing was helping her grasp reality as the thoughts were getting too overwhelming. “I can’t help that I don’t want to jump into your open arms no matter how much reassurance of a safe fall I get. It doesn’t work like that, Aeri.”

Aeri’s love and care were overwhelming and Y/n hated that she couldn’t appreciate it the way it should be appreciated. She loved that she got it, but hated it once it lasted a second too long because she felt how it slowly melted everything she had built over the years.

It had been a year of Aeri standing with open arms. Her world felt like it was falling apart, but her desire and love for Y/n stayed strong and it was the only thing keeping her together. Trying to save Y/n was killing her and soon enough it would be too late and she would fall into Y/n’s burning world and end up just like the girl.

Love was worth the sacrifice.

“It doesn’t work like this either!” Her voice went up and she never raised it, Aeri never could when it came to the girl in front of her, but she was desperate. Her hands clutched onto the material of her jeans as she stared up at Y/n with tears in her eyes. It was frustrating as she was trying everything and kept being proven over and over that there was nothing she could do.

Yet it wasn’t enough to stop her from trying.

“I get that it can be hard to trust someone, Y/n.” She calmed her tone, huffing as she leaned back against the couch and took in a deep breath to stop the uncomfortable prickling in her nose. When did it get so frustrating? Has it always been this draining to be with Y/n? But she loved her. How hard could love get at this point?

It went silent aside from Y/n’s anxious pacing, which was anxiety-inducing for Aeri, it was silent. Aeri stared down at her lap and she could feel how the tears were floating in her eyes. She was ready to start grieving the loss of someone who she still had; she had already started crying because she knew that she lost Y/n once again.

All she wanted was Y/n. Her fingers were restless as she pulled on the material of her bottoms, pouting, pursing her lips, huffing, blinking, swallowing (with pain), and clearing her throat. She was doing everything to not cry; it would only scare Y/n away further, wouldn’t it? To show that she meant so much that she could make Aeri cry.

She could suppress it; just for Y/n.

She could fix it. Fix them, fix Y/n, fix herself, and overall fix everything. There was a lot of fixing, but there was still enough left of her to do it, she could use whatever energy she had even if it would end with her collapsing from exhaustion. She would give her every drop for Y/n.

“But why can’t we just try to make it work.” She mumbled and with the words dropped tears, and with quick reflex, she caught them with the sleeve of her jacket and snivelled. It was choking her, the way her heart pushed to her throat and left it to hurt, it all hurt and left a faint tremble. Aeri looked up at Y/n, her vulnerability was something she couldn’t hide unlike the girl in front of her who stopped at last.

Was it wrong to cry because she felt bad for Y/n? The girl didn’t deserve to be in pain behind all those walls in her opinion. Y/n wasn’t doing anything wrong even if it seemed like it; she was just badly hurt and that wasn’t her fault. It wasn’t her fault that she didn’t want to be hurt again.

It wasn’t Y/n’s fault that it was hard to go back to the person she used to be, knowing that that person she used to be had died at the hands of someone who wasn’t deserving of Y/n. Someone who wrecked her home and set it on fire.

“It is working until you bring it up.” Y/n knew how to suck her tears up as her gaze bore into Aeri’s soul, the tears from her girlfriend a sign of the drainage she caused. It wasn’t intentional; it tore her knowing that she was breaking Aeri’s heart, someone she loved, but she had to put her heart first.

She had learned that love wasn’t worth putting first.

Aeri exhaled, wiping her eyes again, using her sleeves while barely shaking her head. “It’s not working and this is the proof, Y/n. We wouldn’t be arguing about it if it all was fine. You said it yourself that you’re being ignorant. I’m willing to take it slow, I want to help you, but I can’t when you close off.” Even after all this time–a year–she was willing to give it more time. To give Y/n all the time she needed.

“I don’t need your fixing, Aeri. I’m fine with the way things are, the way I am.” Y/n bellowed with anger, too stubborn to change her ways, too stubborn not to put herself first despite wanting Aeri. Too stubborn not to put walls around her heart no matter how much it tried to beat free from the chains just for Aeri. It was a conflict she was facing; not with Aeri, but with herself.

“You’re obviously, lying–” Aeri knew Y/n enough from the outside to know, but she had taken in as much as she could from those small cracks that could at times appear in Y/n’s walls. It was enough to let her know that Y/n wanted to love but was scared.

“I’m not lying, I’m–”

“Yes, you are! You get defensive, you close up, and you ignore me. How is that fine to you or me?” Aeri exclaimed, abruptly getting up from the couch with a harsh wipe to her dewy eyes that couldn’t help but shed at the discomfort of her heart aching.

Y/n scowled, gripping onto the sleeves of her sweater. “I’m done.” She stated the words firmly and her jaw clenched to the point where it hurt just to not tear up.

However, Aeri wasn’t done, she grabbed hold of Y/n’s closed fist, but with tenderness, because despite the anger there was no room for brutality in her love for Y/n. There was no room for hurt, however, it was harder than it sounded to prove it to someone who had only seen the love that came with nothing but havoc and brutality.

“You always are when it gets hard yet it’s fine the way it is?”

“Fuck off, Aeri.” She exhaled as Y/n left her hold, leaving her to silently wipe at her tears in the now-empty room. Those tears that she would be wiping for the next few days if not weeks. There was no one else to do it for her. No one to mend her heart because even if Y/n left, it was still with her; aching at the distance that made her feel weak and sick.

Aeri didn’t say more, she didn’t do anything more, she didn’t chase, not at the moment; this wasn’t the first time Y/n was done with her. It was an endless cycle with her girlfriend–temporarily ex-girlfriend now–and she knew that she had to wait a few days or weeks until she could pull Y/n back in and show her that she loved her, that there was love for her, that it could all work out if she let Aeri in.

She was, in the end, willing to sacrifice for her love.

masterlist

#aespa imagines #aespa giselle x reader #giselle x reader #aeri uchinaga x reader #aeri x reader #giselle imagines #giselle x fem reader #aespa x reader #fanfic #girl group imagines

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alexanderlightweight · 12 days ago

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I know I sent another ask in earlier but if you would like to write more I would love some soft Malec. Just something where they’re in love and soft to each other (from their perspective at least lol) nsfw/sfw either works! Whatever strikes your fancy! ❤️

here is something with them very soft teasing and falling in love and realizing that the weight of the world is easier to bear around each other even just in small ways

i hope you enjoy

<3 lumine

the precipice of duty

Alec stretches and feels not the weight of exhaustion but the weight of another body. Of Magnus, stretched out and solid and warm and Alec burrows closer. Lets sleep cling to him rather than shaking it off to go and train and work, instead letting himself relax and enjoy.

If Magnus isn't awake yet, then there's still time and so Alec luxuriates in an embrace he never thought he’d be allowed. By the will of others or the fact that he didn’t feel safe being this selfish.

Because laying here in Magnus' arms rather than dealing with the Institute is the most selfish thing Alec’s done.

It also feels like the best thing he’s ever done.

For once, Alec’s made a choice that isn’t tearing him up from the inside out and he settles closer and breathes Magnus in.

Time drifts and Alec dreams — not of anything special beyond more moments just like this one — and slowly he falls back asleep.

—-

Magnus wakes with drool on his neck and legs tangled so closely with his own that trying to stretch drags Alexander closer against him. It’s a beautiful way to wake up after the constant rejections Magnus was getting.

Though considering how strongly his boy is clinging to him, Magnus doubts they’ll have too many repeats of Alexander canceling on him. Not with how content he’s been since they portalled away from his Institute.

Alexander grumbles against his skin and when Magnus starts to move — because his closet is calling him — bites him. It’s not hard, but it is clearly a punishment for trying to leave.

“Really sweetheart, you couldn’t just use your words?”

Magnus is teasing and it’s clear that Alexander knows it — from the way he’s sleepily glaring at Magnus.

And then he bites again.

Harder, nearly enough to leave a mark and Magnus wishes he’d be a bit more daring.

Alas, Alexander’s teeth leave his skin and his boy looks so pleased that Magnus doesn’t have the heart to tell him ‘try harder’ just yet.

Next time he’ll ensure Alexander bites hard enough to leave a mark, but for now he has a sleep-dazed shadowhunter in his bed.

Which would normally be temptation incarnate but Magnus has a limited amount of time before Alexander will need to head back, ward around the Institute or not.

“I’m going to give you two potions to take and two choices for a destination, how does that sound?”

Alexander looks anything but pleased, but it’s not the potions that bother him as he’s already sitting up and reaching out for the vials Magnus has summoned.

“Tell me the destinations and if it doesn’t make a difference to me, then you’re picking.”

That’s more than reasonable and Magnus summons a mug of coffee that he offers after Alexander has downed both a nutrient and an energy potion.

“Get the taste out of your mouth with that and tell me if you want something busy or something quiet.”

The look that earns him is accompanied by a snort that makes it clear Alexander isn’t going to deign giving Magnus an answer.

Which means a wicked thought teases Magnus' brain and he smirks at Alexander before letting his voice go earnest and delighted, “something busy and crowded and incredibly popular it is.”

“Magnus—” Alexander is looking at him with betrayal, eyes wide and reproachful over his coffee, “somewhere quiet instead, please.”

“Forgive me, Alexander. You’re too delightful when you sulk.”

The distrusting look his comment earns only makes him laugh harder, because even as he pouts, Alexander is leaning his weight onto Magnus and standing closer and closer.

As if personal space no longer exists between them but is shared.

#lumine writes #writing wednesday #writing wednesdays #the precipice of duty #magnus bane #alec lightwood #malec #shadowhunters

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nartml · 2 months ago

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Coming out of my slumber to talk about how insane Senkuu makes me.

I really just think it's beautiful that, despite the extraordinary nature of his mind, the brilliant genius of it, it's rarely the first thing I think to mention when describing him.

At his core, his defining characteristic isn't his intelligence, but his heart.

He is defined by his passion for science, his love for learning and applying it, his persistent curiosity about everything that surrounds him, his greed for it, his selflessness when sharing it.

He can't help but share it, even when he knows nobody will actually understand, because it's not about that.

It's practically spilling out of him, he's overflowing with it.

Science is what he lives and breathes for, and it's so refreshing to see a story depicting it as the beautiful and fascinating thing that it is.

He is also defined by all the people he's forged everlasting connections with; by trusting them and by them trusting him in return.

He is defined by all his unique relationships, and every single one of them is an integral part of him.

All this is to say that he is defined by love.

And his driving force is his relentless optimism, the indisputable faith in humanity's capacity for good by the means of science.

It's made more impactful, because he's aware of the bad and the ugly, he's even faced it time and again in some of its forms, but still his conviction remains unwavering.

Even at the lowest points, he cannot ever be convinced otherwise; his heart's practically set in stone.

And this is what gets me. Characters who are all heart just get me.

It's genuinely no wonder I'll never move on from this damn story, it's all heart and few things else.

The fact that all this is for science is the only thing that gets me even more.

Because I'm exhausted of the tried-and-true "tortured and depressed genius" x "science can be used for incredible evil" trope.

Fuck that, we know that, we're living that.

Tell me about how fun and enchanting and heartfelt it can be instead, because science was born through the passion, endurance and defiance of thousands upon thousands of people.

Tell me about how love and ambition are every bit the motivation behind innovation as greed and selfishness are.

Tell me about how those things can go hand in hand, and tell me why that's not inherently bad and ugly.

Tell me about how humanity isn't all bad and ugly.

#every time i think about this shit i unironically cry #thought dump #because im rewatching this masterpiece for the 298837482883747th time #dr stone #dcst #senku ishigami #that's my baby. that's my son. that's my everything. god this show fucks me UP #love/optimism/passion/good are ten billion precent more likely to make me bawl as opposed to literally anything else #ishigami senku #dcst brainrot #this entire cast has me melting in a puddle every other second of every episode #not even exaggerating #science #science is awesome #science is cool #science is fun

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cartoonrival · 6 months ago

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wilson is honestly suchhh a good examination of a trope that you see a lot but rarely get to look inside of which is someone who is kind and selfless to a degree of needless self sacrifice. and especially when that character is paired with someone who is callous and mean (classic sunshine x hater dynamic or whatever) the reason that's given for WHY the nice character not only puts up with the mean one but actually likes being around them is always IN SPITE of their nasty attitude and depending on the degree of rudeness it can leave like well .... how much "in spite of" can you get before you only halfway even like this person.

with wilson that dynamic is absolutely pushed to it's breaking point-- house is pretty much undeniably a terrible person. he not only refuses to change but genuinely doesn't believe it's possible, he consciously makes choices to test his friendship with wilson to see what it would take to push him away for good, he doesn't care about anyone other than himself and when it seems like he does it's because he cares about what that person means to him rather than as an individual. wilson is an oncologist who coaches people through treatment and management of incurable diseases. he gets brought onto cases he isn't involved in purely so that he can break the news that the patient is going to die, because no one knows how to do it as kindly as he does. sometimes the patient will even thank him. he never forgets a patient, he memorizes their life stories, he finds a way to make all of them interesting to him so that even the loneliest person feels loved while they're dying.

And yet. he's been divorced three times and greg house is his best and only friend. and at first it makes no blooming sense. what the fuck does wilson see in house. he seems so sweet and levelheaded, why would he be thrice divorced. and its because being niceys constantly only all the time, setting your thoughts and needs aside every damn time because someone else's problem always comes first, is exhausting! and not in a way that's digestible and respectable and Good, but in a way that makes him grow resentful of his wives for no reason other than he didn't have the guts to bring up little problems when he had them! and in a way that makes him best friends with the only person he can trust to say every mean thought he thinks and in return can take the hit when wilson for once, finally, does the same. he's drawn to house's neediness, yes, but if that was it then they wouldn'tve been friends for this long. he's also drawn to the fact that he can call house an ass with no repercussions.

it's strange for him to say that he wants to spend his final months with family and friends and for thirteen to correct him to "friend". but it's true! for the exact opposite reason that wilson is house's only friend, house is wilson's only friend! because no one else actually knows him! because he can't tell his problems to anyone else! because wilson can't make anything about himself, and house can be counted on to make everything about house anyways! that's WHY it's so huge for house to fake his death to spend wilson's last months by his side.... house is hardwired for selfishness, and as much of a pos that objectively makes him it is a trait that wilson is incapable of finding within himself, even when he absolutely needs it. wilson's cancer is the breaking point, where wilson needs this, for once, to be about him. so house, ceo of people don't change, makes the first sacrifice that anyone has ever made for wilson. because he loves him . and because wilson doesn't want to spend his last few months alive with literally anybody else.

#txt157 #drh #house md #housemd #james wilson

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zaceouiswriting · 8 months ago

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Fairy Prince - Hearts of Leviathans - Ch.34

Character: Sky x male reader, Riven x male reader, Brandon x male reader

Universe: Somewhere in Winx Club/Saga

Warnings: Non-consensual advances

(Please welcome our beloved, golden retriever-like, loyal, maybe a little possessive guy, Brandon…I mean…Sky.)

When we finally get to the house, I ask the soldiers to let us down again. Although my new friend's knees were still pretty wobbly, she could stand mostly independently with some help.

“I give you permission to leave!” The two soldiers salute once more before disappearing into the ground and returning to where they belong.

“They were good men, weren’t they?”

I couldn't help but sigh heavily. "According to legend, they were the best in every sense of the word," I tell her, unable to hide the sadness in my voice. "Apparently, there was once a ritual where the best soldiers of each generation were sent to join the ranks of the legendary hidden military unit of the Deep Rock Legion in case we needed an army of incorruptible and fiercely loyal soldiers. But in the long run, it ruined our population. Of the ten million we had left after the orbital crash, there are now just over seven million left, and my grandfather isn't helping."

"Your grandfather? But that would mean-"

I quickly realize my mistake. Until now, everyone thought I was trying to boast about myself by calling myself a prince. But now that I've talked too much and I'm desperate to make new friends, I know I can't lie to her anymore.

“I am the crown prince of Gyonos and, therefore, its guardian fairy, the last fairy in my world after my grandfather.”

She gasped when I shared my revelation with her, and before I knew it, she had come over to me and pressed her slightly plump body against me in a way I hadn't experienced often in my life: a hug so warm that a few tears rolled from the corners of my eyes.

For the first time in ages, I feel like I can let myself be seen crying in front of someone, and maybe it's selfish, but I take full advantage of it. I cry into her head, as she is tiny compared to me. To my surprise, she doesn't walk away but stands there and speaks in a warm, comforting voice, telling me that everything will be okay in the end and how much I want to believe her words, but I know better. I have seen the truth behind people's attentions, fallen victim to the betrayal of those closest to me, and experienced death many times. I didn't cry when he died, not after I had to let him leave my arms when our posts were overrun by those monsters. I will never be able to forgive the Scallierds or forget what they did and what they forced me to do.

I hold her for what feels like an eternity. But when I finally let go of her, she looks straight into my watery eyes. Her blue-green eyes shimmer with what I can only describe as a motherly concern, a desire to be there for me emotionally, and I couldn't be more grateful.

“You should go inside, it’s late and cold,” I tell her quietly.

She smiles kindly. "You should, too. After all, you're probably just as exhausted as I am." Her voice is warm, really like a mother's.

"Sure, but I would like a few minutes to myself before I return to my personal dark world or, more commonly known, my dorm room.“

She nods understandingly, wishes me goodnight, and goes inside, leaving me under the star-studded night sky. I wait until she's gone before turning around and looking across the large, empty field into the forest beyond. I take a deep breath, raise my right hand, and see it shaking. My magical reserves feel depleted; the healing processes and summoning of those soldiers were too much for my fairy core. I need to train; I can't even fight a specialist like this without being knocked to the ground in seconds.

I feel frustration building up inside me. How could it be otherwise? I've gone from being a prodigy in magic and weapon combat to this pathetic excuse of a fairy. I would be unstoppable if only I could access the abilities contained in the crystallized cores of my ring. But how? I hold out my hand holding the ring and marvel at it. Somehow, it only looks normal now that the two cores are in it, surrounding my family's crest in its center. Many have an initial letter, but my family decided to fill it in with our entire crest, as detailed as possible in this small form, with the only exception being that the two sword-shaft-like pieces of metal always hung off the sides. I always thought that happened over the eons the ring was used, but now that the two cores are safely clammed underneath them, I realize there should be something in them. But what? If it's for magic cores, then why aren't there three? What does my family or planet have two of?

I ponder these questions for a while, only coming back to myself when a cold breeze sends a shiver through my body. This is the best time to go back inside. As soon as I step into the building, a fleeting sigh of relief comes over me.

With my eyes closed, I enjoy the warmth heating my cold bones. But when I open them again just a minute or so later, confusion fills me. I try to reach out to protect myself, but before I can, I'm pulled off my feet, my rear end grabbed, and my front pressed against a warm, muscular body. Before I know it, my legs are wrapped around that person's waist, and we are no longer in the foyer. He carries me around until he finally forces open a door and mindlessly slams my back against a metal shelf and then my head against some boxes. A groan of pain escapes my lips as the metal stabs into my back.

But before I could react, soft lips were on mine. Shock floods through my entire being as the moment has taken me completely by surprise. My eyes widen, forcing me to stare at him. There, pressing me against the shelves and trying to push his tongue into my mouth, is Sky. I couldn't believe it. He was always so gentle and kind, but now he's carrying me around and kissing me without my consent. I try to push him away, but he feels like an immovable object, heavier than a mountain. I even punch at his rock-hard pecs as I feel myself slowly falling into him. And before I know it, our lips move in perfect harmony; my mouth even opens slightly as he grips my ass a little tighter. His tongue swallows my moan. My hands land on his back. But suddenly, I can feel him smirking against my lips, making me wonder if this is what he wanted.

My hands quickly move from his chest, where I have only shown him aggression, to his neck and pull him closer to me. What is that feeling—this warmth deep in my stomach? Or this tingling further south?

Even though hundreds of these thoughts of the strangest feelings are racing through my head, I can't let go of him. His woody smell, mixed with the sweetness of something in his mouth, intoxicates my senses. I feel the desire rising for him to continue and take what he wants.

This time, not even the thought of him and his senseless death could spoil my mood, as I feel safe and even desired in Sky's arms.

"I fucking knew it." I hear him suddenly grumble. When I open my eyes from the daze, I see Sky's blurry image, his pale face flushed and his expression serious, if not angry. When I try to say something, he pushes me roughly against the shelf, his legs pushing up. "You've wanted me since you first saw me."

I can only stare at him in confusion, but he is already kissing my neck, biting me gently, and whispering things in my ear that were dirtier than anything I'd ever heard before. Something was clearly wrong.

I hold his face in my hands and try to get him to look at me, but when he finally does, his expression turns angry. Before I know it, his hand is around my neck, his grip is tight, and he is choking me painfully.

"But then I saw you with the girl and these two huge men. I couldn't believe it! Before I could make a move, you had already gone out and found yourself some toys."

When he calls my stone soldiers "toys," my heart starts to burn. How dare he call honorable men that? He has obviously misunderstood something, but when I open my mouth to clarify, his grip on my neck tightens even further, so much so that I can hardly breathe. He seems to have lost his mind, but what can I do?

"Sky!" I barely manage to say, but he's not listening. Instead, he talks about me, telling me what a selfish wanker I am for allowing both Riven and Sky to touch me and defile my body for him.

I can't believe the Gaul of him thinking I would stay pure for him, and then suddenly, something bursts out of him that he probably didn't want to say. He shouts out what I already suspected, namely that he and Sky have switched identities.

The fact that he lied to me for so long hits me the hardest. I thought I could trust him; after all, he always came to my cell when I was a prisoner, cleaned me, and fed me one by one to torture me like the wild animals they are, but that was obviously just wishful thinking. It makes me angrier than I probably should have been, so I turn the tables. Finally, I grab him by the neck and hope he lets go, but he starts grinning in a sinister way. It sent cold sweats down my spine to see something so vicious on the face of a man who always seemed like a puppy.

"I fucking dare you," he said through pursed lips, staring madly into my eyes, "Squeeze harder, I dare you!"

I've never felt so intimidated before. Is there something wrong with him? Suddenly, his grip on my neck tightens enough to easily snap it; no doubt there will be many bruises afterward. I have to make a decision. If he keeps this up, I will surely die.

"Brandon!" I yell, making him stop. Confusion is clear on his face, his eyes glowing with dawning realization. His hand quickly withdraws. As I gasp for air, he holds me upright, one of his hands behind my head and the other trying to protect as much of my spine as possible. He begins to apologize endlessly, like a child found with his hand in the cookie jar.

I try to breathe, but my throat burns painfully. Yet, I push against his chest again; this time, he lets me down but still holds my body upright for a minute. My body is at its limit from the rapid healing before, and the now compromised state is just too much. Thankfully, it only takes a short time before the rest of the healing magic still coursing through me at least helps to ease the swelling in my throat, just enough to let me breathe evenly.

I want to lecture him, scream at him, and let all my feelings out, but his glassy eyes tell me he's not there. Hopefully, it's just the clearly smuggled alcohol and not something more serious.

I try to get past him, but he quickly tries to hold me back. He mumbles something about me catching my breath, giving me hope that even in this situation and condition, he's still trying to help me. But it feels wrong because none of this was consensual, as if he's trying to clear his conscience of what he did to me here in this... in this supply closet.

Somehow, the place we ended up in while making out makes me feel even worse. Am I just a toy to him? Did I misjudge his personality? Is he really a player who breaks people's hearts? I feel so stupid, so silly. Why did I let this happen? I could have prevented everything, but I didn't. Why?

"Please, I- I was just so overwhelmed-"

Before he can spit out his lies, all I see is red, and anger shoots through my veins, just like it did on the battlefield. Can I control it this time? My anger had always been uncontrollable, like I was an explosion just waiting to go off. But this time, in this small room, surrounded by Brandon's intoxicating scent, it doesn't seem to be able to happen, even though my anger threatens to boil over. The overall emotions just weren't there. It was almost as if the last explosion had balanced me unknowingly out.

But that couldn't be. How could the death of my true love be the catalyst for my anger to subside?

[Masterlist]

#male reader #x male reader #male reader imagine #winx club #winx saga #winx saga x male reader #brandon x male reader #brandon imagine #brandon #riven x male reader #riven imagine #riven #sky x male reader #sky imagine #sky #winx club x male reader #winx saga imagine #winx club imagine

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