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Pluralistic, your daily link-dose: 27 Feb 2020

Today's links

Ripping the window-dressing off the .ORG selloff: It's not even an ethos.

CDC guide to filter-mask-friendly facial hair: You're good to go with a Zappa, Villain or Hitler, but stay away from the Dali, Hulahee and the dread F(l)u Manchu.

Don't trust Google to build Toronto's Smart City: Sidewalk Labs's sleaze has disqualified it.

A "girls-only" social service wants to analyze your facial bone structure: "It's science!"

Norman Rockwell turned into a radical civil rights activist: His last painting was of Nixon, too.

Gmail's filters are blocking opt-in election emails: Mayo Pete and Andrew Yang are winning the spam-filter primary.

Talking Radicalized with The Next Chapter: Shelagh Rogers is a national treasure.

Neoliberalism kills, the coronavirus edition: And you thought capitalism would kill us all with climate change!

Bernie Sanders and Public Enemy LA rally this Sunday: With Sarah Silverman and Dick van Dyke!

Venezuelan women's "army" break into dead factories to reboot them: "Only the people can save the people."

Meet Akil Augustine, voice of the Raptors…and Radicalized: A fighter in my corner.

This day in history: 2019, 2015, 2005

Colophon: Recent publications, current writing projects, upcoming appearances, current reading

Ripping the window-dressing off the .ORG selloff (permalink)

The latest on ISOC's shameful attempt to flog off .ORG to a group of sketchy billionaires: Ethos Capital's promises concerning its stewardship are pure window-dressing.

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2020/02/empty-promises-wont-save-org-takeover

Its binding promise not to increase prices for .ORG domains? Still allows it to DOUBLE prices in 8 years, then allows UNLIMITED increases afterwards. Its "Stewardship Council"? Handpicked by Ethos's own bagmen, & only empowered to rule on very narrow questions of de-anonymization and censorship, AND Ethos can simply ignore its rulings by declaring them to be required by a government or consistent with anti-abuse policies.

In an open letter in the Nonprofit Times, Cindy Cohn of EFF and Amy Sample Ward of NTEN break it down:

https://www.thenonprofittimes.com/npt_articles/commentary-org-still-wouldnt-be-safe/

"Your proposal cabins the council's authority by placing anything construed as 'advice or recommendations regarding day-to-day operational, financial or budgeting matters, or pricing out of bounds. It would be trivial to categorize harmful practices as 'operational.'"

CDC guide to filter-mask-friendly facial hair(permalink)

The CDC has an infographic enumerating the effect of various styles of facial hair on filtering respirators.

You're good to go with a Zappa, Villain or Hitler, but stay away from the Dali, Hulahee and the dread F(l)u Manchu.

https://www.cdc.gov/niosh/npptl/pdfs/FacialHairWmask11282017-508.pdf

Don't trust Google to build Toronto's Smart City (permalink)

Google is planning to turn a vast swathe of Toronto into a high-tech "smart city" through its Sidewalk Labs division. They've been incredibly misleading and opaque about their plans, and yet the city keeps greenlighting through successive phases.

The latest phase is the publication of the Digital Strategy Advisory Panel's report, a wide-ranging critical report from technologists and tech experts on Google's plan to instrument the city and extract its data.

https://quaysideto.ca/wp-content/uploads/2020/02/DSAP-Supplemental-Report-on-Sidewalk-Labs-Digital-Innovation-Appendix-DIA-Appendices-FINAL.pdf

It's pretty sharp stuff. Michael Geist's introductory letter gives a taste of things.

https://quaysideto.ca/blog/dsap-releases-supplemental-commentary-on-the-digital-innovation-appendix

But far more pointed is Andrew Clement's Appendix D, a kind of minority report that makes it abundantly clear that Google has totally disqualified itself from this project.

Question One: Does Sidewalk have a strong track record as an urban innovator appropriate for Toronto?

Short answer: No

(Sidewalk lied, omitted other projects that were terrible, and literally followed a grifter's playbook called "BOLD")

Question Two: Can Sidewalk Labs' core claims be relied on?

Sidewalk "consulted" with 21,000 Torontonians, but it hasn't shown that it's willing to take any of that consultation advice to heart ("corporate self-defense").

Sidewalk claims it's not "tech for tech's sake," but the whole plan reeks of it.

Sidewalk claimed it's not about extracting data, but the plan is totally about extracting data.

Question Three: What does experience with Sidewalk to date in this project indicate about its reliability as a partner? In particular, has Sidewalk respected its contracts and other commitments?

Nope. For example, it held its expert panel to NDAs after promising it wouldn't.

Question Four: Can Sidewalk be treated as independent of its parent Alphabet/Google and its wider enterprise?

Obviously not! "In business strategy, financing and overall managerial control, there are clear indications that Sidewalk is unlikely to diverge from Alphabet/Google."

"Nearly all Alphabet revenues are earned by Google and they have the same CEO, Sundar Pichai, and same CFO, Ruth Porat."

Question Five: What are the risks of partnering with an Alphabet enterprise?

"It has been fined a combined $9.5 billion since 2017 by EU antitrust regulators while facing further significant government investigations for its anti-competitive behaviour."

"It will be challenging to make a positive determination absent public evidence of a thorough, independent risk-benefit analysis of the prospective partnership or other contractual relationship."

A "girls-only" social service wants to analyze your facial bone structure (permalink)

Well, this is the most "now you've got two problems" moment in recent memory. "Giggle" is an all-girl social network. To be "all-girl" they have keep men off of the platform. How do they do that? With FACIAL BONE STRUCTURE scans.

"It's science! Just like archaeologists do with mummies."

JFC.

The impulse to start a girl-only social space is a potentially fine one, but deploying what amounts to eugenics – heavily borrowed from the incel movement's obsession with facial bone-structure – is idiotic.

"Unfortunately it doesn't verify trans-girls."

No shit. Also, it doesn't verify people whose bone-structure fails your digital phrenology tests. And it WILL verify men and boys who generate false positives in the system.

https://pipedreamdragon.tumblr.com/post/611048332070109184

I can't believe I need to say this, but: The goal of making girls feel OK with who they are cannot be attained by subjecting their facial bone-structure to algorithmic femininity assessments.

Norman Rockwell turned into a radical civil rights activist (permalink)

I hadn't known that at the end of his career, Norman Rockwell became a political radical, breaking with the Saturday Evening Post over his desire to depict the civil rights struggle.

https://www.vox.com/the-highlight/2020/2/19/21052356/norman-rockwell-the-problem-we-all-live-with-saturday-evening-post

Writing in Vox, Tom Carson describes how Rockwell's personal tragedies – the death of his wife – and the advice of his therapist helped him transform into an acerbic, radical painter, the opposite of who we remember him as.

Switching from the Post to Look Magazine, Rockwell depicted such subjects as 6-y-o Ruby Bridges being escorted into an all-white school by federal marshalls who led her past howling mobs of white supremacists.

He went on to paint a depiction of the imagined last moments of civil rights workers Mickey Schwerner, Andrew Goodman, and James Chaney, who were tortured and murdered by white nationalists.

http://www.nrm.org/MT/text/MurderMississippi.html

A staunch anti-war activist, he pestered LBJ with an endless stream of telegrams demanding negotiations, not bombings, in Vietnam (ironically, he voted for Nixon in the hopes that he would end the war).

Further irony: the last substantial painting he completed was of Nixon after his election win: "This time around, he managed what he'd once said was impossible. His subject looks like a nice man who is, nonetheless, unmistakably Richard Nixon."

It's the only Rockwell painting in the National Portrait Gallery.

https://npg.si.edu/object/npg_NPG.72.2

Gmail's filters are blocking opt-in election emails (permalink)

Gmail's spam filters perform very differently when it comes to fundraising emails from Democratic leadership contenders: Mayo Pete evades filters 63% of the time, Yang lands 46% of the time. EVERY Warren campaign email tested got filtered to spam.

https://themarkup.org/google-the-giant/2020/02/26/wheres-my-email

These are all emails that Gmail users have opted to receive, too, but most are filtered to the "promotions" inbox, rather than "primary." In all only 11% of emails from "candidates, think tanks, advocacy groups, and nonprofits" reached primary.

It's turning email — the last federated platform on the internet — into Facebook, a filternet whose rules are set by unaccountable algorithms operated by a secretive monopolist.

Goog has a conflict of interest here: "While Gmail does not sell ads in the primary inbox, advertisers can pay for top placement in the social and promotions tabs in free accounts."

This was Facebook's media-killing strategy: when you started your media outlet's FB presence, the company delivered 100% of your posts to your followers, then, once you depended on that, it dialed delivery down unless you paid for "reach."

The pretense of Big Tech is that you they connect you to the stuff you ask for (this is also the premise behind Net Neutrality). The reality is that they decide, unaccountably, invisibly and inexplicably, what you may see.

While the overfiltering might in error, it's an error Goog is incentivized to wontfix: "'You're not precluded from buying an ad in the promotions tab, or offering a deal,' said Lee Carosi Dunn, who at the time led election sales, political outreach and policy for Google."

Talking Radicalized with The Next Chapter (permalink)

My book Radicalized is a finalist for Canada Reads, the CBC's national book prize

https://www.cbc.ca/books/canadareads/meet-the-canada-reads-2020-contenders-1.5433115

That means all kinds of good stuff, but one of the highlights was talking with Shelagh Rogers for The Next Chapter. I grew up listening to Shelagh, and she's so incredibly smart about books.

The interview came out great! (How could it not, given the interviewer). We ranged widely over "Canadianness," "Americanness," literary forms, anxiety and creativity, and the substance of the stories themselves.

https://www.cbc.ca/radio/thenextchapter/full-episode-feb-22-2020-1.5469642

You can get the MP3 here:

http://16523.mc.tritondigital.com/CBC_THE_NEXT_CHAPTER_FROM_CBC_RADIO_P/media-session/fecd5192-14ef-43b6-b9a7-7c125875d93b/nextchapter-0I9Y1liD-20200226.mp3?ttag=season:12

It's also been included in my podcast feed, which you can subscribe to here:

http://feeds.feedburner.com/doctorow_podcast

Neoliberalism kills, the coronavirus edition (permalink)

Neoliberalism kills, a play in two acts

Act I: UK employers are not required to offer sick pay to asymptomatic potential coronavirus carriers, even if those workers' doctors have ordered them to "self-isolate" to avoid spreading pandemic.

https://memex.naughtons.org/self-isolation-and-employee-rights/28723/

Leaving workers with a stark choice: perform your duty to the public health and lose your wages or even your job, or turn up for work and infect your co-workers and customers.

Typhoid Mary vs Moral Hazard in action, there.

Act II: Alex Azar, the US Health and Human Services secretary, has ruled out price controls for a coronavirus vaccine, arguing that pharma companies need "incentives" to produce.

https://twitter.com/mmcauliff/status/1232784696792297472

"Alex Michael Azar II (/ˈeɪzər/ born June 17, 1967) is an American attorney, politician, pharmaceutical lobbyist, and former drug company executive who serves as the United States Secretary of Health and Human Services."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alex_Azar

This former pharma lobbyist, whose industry gobbles public subsidies like a tweaker gobbles bennies, firmly believes that his once-and-future paymasters must be permitted unlimited gouging, and if they choose to leave those who can't pay to die, that's "the market."

Lambert Strether, 2014:

"I propose two simple rules to which neo-liberalism can be reduced. They are:

"Rule #1: Because markets.

"Rule #2: Go die!"

https://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2014/03/neo-liberalism-expressed-simple-rules.html

It turns out that all those people who thought late-stage capitalism would exterminate the human race through climate change were wrong! It's going to kill us all with pandemics, instead.

Herd immunity has a well-known leftist bias.

Bernie Sanders and Public Enemy LA rally this Sunday (permalink)

Angelenos! Bernie Sanders is doing a gig with Dick Van Dyke (!), Sarah Silverman (!!) and Public Enemy (!!!) this SUNDAY (Sunday Sunday Sunday!) at the LA Convention Center.

Admission is free, but you need to RSVP here. Doors open at 3, rally starts at 5, ends at 7. Word of warning: the last Sanders rally I attended (in 2016) started REALLY late, like 2h.

https://events.berniesanders.com/event/252466/

Campaigning presidential candidates have hard-to-predict schedules apparently (but warn your babysitter).

Venezuelan women's "army" break into dead factories to reboot them (permalink)

The "Productive Army" is a Venezuelan women's collective that has been operating since 2017. They visit shuttered factories, get workers to explain what's needed to reopen them, break in and start them up again.

https://translate.google.com/translate?sl=auto&tl=en&u=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.elsaltodiario.com%2Fmapas%2Fbatallas-ejercito-productivo-obrero-venezuela-guerra-no-convencional

They organize themselves like military units, with captains, etc, and the units generally have to beg their bosses for time off to roam the country, putting it back on its feet. Operations typically run for less than a week, and incorporate weekends to minimize time off.

They describe themselves as carrying out the Chavismo doctrine of "workers' control of factories," which even Chavez largely treated as a slogan, and which his successors have been even less committed to.

They remind me of the elite Chinese students whom Xi ordered to read Marx and Lenin, who then decided Xi was a bourgeois sellout and took to the road to support wildcat workers' strikes against Xi-aligned factory owners.

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/09/28/world/asia/china-maoists-xi-protests.html

The Productive Army's slogan is "Only the People Can Save the People." Its missions are "productive battles." A productive battle might involve repairing the furnace in a sardine canning factory to get it running again, then turning it over to workers: "In the EPO they say that they not only repair machines but, above all, consciences."

One of the crispest definitions of "rightism" came I've heard came from Steven Brust: "Ask them what's more important: property rights, or human rights? If they answer, 'Property rights are human rights," they're on the right." (I quoted this in Walkaway).

When people want the things the factory produces, and workers want to produce those things in the factory, but the spreadsheet says the factory isn't viable, the problem is with the spreadsheet, not the people.

Meet Akil Augustine, voice of the Raptors…and Radicalized (permalink)

In the #CanadaReads national book prize, each book gets a "champion" – a defender who speaks for the book in a series of televised debates. My champion is the incredible Akil Augustine, voice of the Toronto Raptors.

Akil and I met in Toronto last month when they announced that my book Radicalized was a finalist for the prize, and the CBC sat us down for a rollicking joint interview.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=duL6rZeNJY0

I love that Radicalized connected with Akil, given how divergent our interests are (I can't even name a single basketball goalie!). I love even more how competitive he is. As someone who grew up at hippie summer-camp playing "co-operative volleyball" I'm very grateful to have a fighter in my corner who plays to win!

This day in history (permalink)

#15yrsago Halle Berry accepts "Razzie" for Catwoman, calls it a "piece of shit" https://web.archive.org/web/20050306093431/http://www.reuters.com/newsArticle.jhtml?storyID=7748301&type=entertainmentNews

#5yrsago Mass surveillance hip-hop from the director of the Bill of Rights Defense Committee https://shadowproof.com/2015/02/26/after-hearing-capitol-police-arrest-lawyer-for-shouting-question-at-clapper-about-nsa-surveillance/

#1yrago Bunnie Huang's tour-de-force explanation of how hardware implants and supply chain hacks work https://www.bunniestudios.com/blog/?p=5519

#1yrago AOC grills Equifax CEO: the Congressional record now contains the obvious, infuriating truth that everyone else already knew https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2019/02/11/rep-alexandria-ocasio-cortez-takes-aim-equifax-credit-scoring/?utm_term=.cbab554db359

#1yrago Fox hit with $179m (including $128m in punitive damages) judgment over shady bookkeeping on "Bones" https://variety.com/2019/biz/news/fox-bones-arbitration-emily-deschanel-179-million-1203150879/

Colophon (permalink)

Today's top sources: JWZ (http://www.jwz.org/blog/), Pipe Dream Dragon (https://pipedreamdragon.tumblr.com/), Metafilter (https://metafilter.com/), Karl Bode (https://twitter.com/karlbode), RCB Leon (https://twitter.com/rcbleon), Naked Capitalism (https://nakedcapitalism.com/).

Hugo nominators! My story "Unauthorized Bread" is eligible in the Novella category and you can read it free on Ars Technica: https://arstechnica.com/gaming/2020/01/unauthorized-bread-a-near-future-tale-of-refugees-and-sinister-iot-appliances/

Upcoming appearances:

Canada Reads Kelowna: March 5, 6PM, Kelowna Library, 1380 Ellis Street, with CBC's Sarah Penton https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/cbc-radio-presents-in-conversation-with-cory-doctorow-tickets-96154415445

Currently writing: I just finished a short story, "The Canadian Miracle," for MIT Tech Review. It's a story set in the world of my next novel, "The Lost Cause," a post-GND novel about truth and reconciliation. I'm getting geared up to start work on the novel now, though the timing is going to depend on another pending commission (I've been solicited by an NGO) to write a short story set in the world's prehistory.

Currently reading: Just started Lauren Beukes's forthcoming Afterland: it's Y the Last Man plus plus, and two chapters in, it's amazeballs. Last week, I finished Andrea Bernstein's "American Oligarchs" this week; it's a magnificent history of the Kushner and Trump families, showing how they cheated, stole and lied their way into power. I'm getting really into Anna Weiner's memoir about tech, "Uncanny Valley." I just loaded Matt Stoller's "Goliath" onto my underwater MP3 player and I'm listening to it as I swim laps.

Latest podcast: Gopher: When Adversarial Interoperability Burrowed Under the Gatekeepers' Fortresses: https://craphound.com/podcast/2020/02/24/gopher-when-adversarial-interoperability-burrowed-under-the-gatekeepers-fortresses/

Upcoming books: "Poesy the Monster Slayer" (Jul 2020), a picture book about monsters, bedtime, gender, and kicking ass. Pre-order here: https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781626723627?utm_source=socialmedia&utm_medium=socialpost&utm_term=na-poesycorypreorder&utm_content=na-preorder-buynow&utm_campaign=9781626723627

(we're having a launch for it in Burbank on July 11 at Dark Delicacies and you can get me AND Poesy to sign it and Dark Del will ship it to the monster kids in your life in time for the release date).

"Attack Surface": The third Little Brother book, Oct 20, 2020.

"Little Brother/Homeland": A reissue omnibus edition with a very special, s00per s33kr1t intro.

Posted on February 27, 2020Tags 2020, akil augustine, apple, basketball, bernie sanders, books, canada, canada reads, cbc, cdc, cdnpol, chavismo, coronavirus, democrats, dick van dyke, dotorg, dweb, eff, elections, ethos, facebookification, facial hair, federation, filternet, gmail, google, hip hop, isoc, los angeles, onpol, pir, politics, private equity, public enemy, radicalized, sarah silverman, science fiction, sidewalk labs, smart cities, surveillance, toronto, torpol, venezuela, walkawayLeave a comment on Pluralistic, your daily link-dose: 27 Feb 2020 Edit "Pluralistic, your daily link-dose: 27 Feb 2020"

23 notes · View notes

thegayfromrulid · 5 years ago

Note

Frkm 1 allll the way to 99. Also, the next SAO game eugeo lives as a sword and not die (thank GOD)

@2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

Chocolate bars- I will not eat lollipops.

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

Cotton candy! I actually get super bad headaches from bubblegum.

4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?

Probably lonely genius...

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

Soda bottles!! I feel so fancy!! And old-timey.

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

I guess tomboy even though I’m a boy??

7. earbuds or headphones?

Aren’t these the same thing? I think I prefer over-ear headphones, but I don’t really like either.

8. movies or tv shows?

Depends on the genre I guess. But as a main rule, live action- movies, animated- TV shows.

9. favorite smell in the summer?

Potato salad.

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

Frankly, I wasn’t good, but I was really good at pissing all the jocks off-

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

I make myself these homemade egg mcmuffins. I enjoy them a lot. I am very picky about breakfast.

12. name of your favorite playlist?

I only have one and it’s very generic: The Gay From Rulid’s Playlist. Yes it’s on Spotify. Yes, it’s 99% anime openings and endings and maybe Bet On It from HSM2. Be ashamed of me. Go on.

13. lanyard or key ring?

Lanyard! Mine is a BNHA one I bought from an artist at Nekocon!

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

Either Sweet Tarts or Nerds.

16. most comfortable position to sit in?

I usually have one leg tucked up under me and the other stretched out.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

A black and white pair of Skechers. They look like shit. They almost never are replaced by another shoe. Not even in the gross muggy heat.

18. ideal weather?

When it’s just warm enough to wear a t-shirt and sit in the sunshine, but cool enough that I’m not hot, and a little breeze is going. I think of this weather quite often.

19. sleeping position?

On my belly kinda spread out like a shounen protagonist.

21. obsession from childhood?

J.R.R. Tolkien. Have always been obsessed with him and his works.

22. role model?

Redundant, but Tolkien again. Linguist and writer. Living my dream.

23. strange habits?

I unplug things like microwaves, lamps, and TVs when I am done using them. Very little remains plugged in at my place. The modem, the fridge, and the clock. That is it.

24. favorite crystal?

Amethyst. It’s my sister’s middle name. And I especially like the purple ones.

25. first song you remember hearing?

Blue by Eiffel 65. I don’t know why that song sticks out so much in my memory but it’s nostalgic for me. Tiny AJ hyperfixated on this song before anything else ya’ll.

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

Curl up in the sun on a blanket and nap.

27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?

Hot cocoa blanket cuddles.

28. five songs to describe you?

Uhhhh...I’m not very musically literate. Let’s go with Born This Way (the first person I came out to sent me that song so it feels special!), I’m Free to Be Me by Jamie Grace, Praying by Kesha, Shake It Off by Taylor Swift ( @delicateeuphorias would you believe it xD), and right now thinking about someone dear to me who’s been gone See You Again is stuck in my brain.

30. places that you find sacred?

Arboretums or big botanical gardens where I can get lost in the plants for a moment and take in how pretty they all are. And old monuments/big things people of the past built. A lot of things were built by people with no rights/freedom and I think about them and how despite the fact that they had nothing, they made such a lasting impact on our world.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

*slips on my Owari no Seraph cosplay* I will kick ass in this sweet ass cape-

33. most used phrase in your phone?

My phone seems to think it’s “Kirito’s ass” and I want it to not think that.

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

O-O-O-O’REILLYYYYYYYYYY’S...Autooo PARTS.

35. average time you fall asleep?

I’m an insomniac it could be 10 pm it could be 3 am who knows I sleep for an hour I’m up again...

36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?

Fucking CAN I HAS CHEEZBURGR cats.

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

This all boils down to how much I’m packing. Going for a sleepover? Duffel. Going to con? My giant suitcase with room for all the bells and whistles of cosplay.

38. lemonade or tea?

Tea!

39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?

Oh cruel I looooove lemon. The pie!

40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?

In high school here- so, aside from me being the resident weirdo (I DID come to school dressed as the TARDIS), my senior class decided to squirt hundreds of bottles of chocolate syrup on the sidewalks. We were an open campus so it’s all in front of our classroom doors- we had no hallways. And then they. They fucking EGGED ALL THE DOORS. The whole campus smelled like...ick.

41. last person you texted?

My father and mother in a group text to cry about customers treating me poorly.

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

I prefer the jacket pockets because I still haven’t found a way to get men’s pants under the radar of my ever-watchful parents and women’s jeans pockets are SHITTY. Women gotta boycott this shit it is UNACCEPTABLE-

44. favorite scent for soap?

Peppermint...peppermint ^-^ I like to smell like...mint.

45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?

Fantasy!

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

Recently I was reminded I live alone and my new favorite sleeping outfit...is...just some boxer shorts. Suck it dysphoria. Manly nightwear.

47. favorite type of cheese?

Pepper jack, Swiss, or ricotta.

48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?

Strawberry :3

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

I’m gonna sound so gay but when @disasterbikirito started laughing about a certain GIF and his laugh was so infectious I couldn’t help but laugh too.

51. current stresses?

Are you shitting me it’s everything. Every. Single. Thing. I cannot breathe. I am having meltdowns. Someone fucking save me I cannot deal with COVID well.

52. favorite font?

Garamond for writing in my free time, Doulous SIL for all the linguistics IPA symbols my greedy heart desires.

53. what is the current state of your hands?

Smooth but my fingertips have been gnawed on. I am stressed, okay?

54. what did you learn from your first job?

Gosh, lots of things. But the most important takeaway is that a good boss will genuinely care about you. I miss that man. He was so wonderful and so caring and taught me so much about theater. Technical things and artistic things and historical things. Sometimes I wish I could have made a career out of working under him.

55. favorite fairy tale?

Beauty and the Beast (AH...AH...I SEE YOU ROLLING YOUR EYES BECAUSE I’M TRANS. I KNOW. I *KNOW*.)

56. favorite tradition?

It’s a family tradition kinda unique to my household. Each year, we draw a name from a hat, and that name comes with a lot of words that describe us and what we liked over that year. We then each take a $20 bill and we go to a little hobby shop with cheap things in it and use that $20 bill to fill a Christmas stocking. We then hang them back up and empty the stocking full of candies and random silly things and have a good laugh and guess who filled whose stocking.

57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?

The first one is coming to terms with knowing my dad has a severe illness. It really shook my family up, and it’s terrifying us right now with everything going on, but after a while, I learned that he was smiling, so I could smile, too.

The second one is my mother coming back from her tour in the Middle East on top of the murder of my godmother. Two very stressful things happened at once. My mother got very violent from her PTSD and her best friend died in a horrible way. It was an adjustment for everyone, and it kind of ripped my family to pieces. I can say, though, that my parents are still married and are getting better, and my sister and I are coming back to the family to be more open and healthy.

The third, and maybe some of my followers are aware, was getting rid of my ex-fiance. He was a man who sexually assaulted me repeatedly and I won’t go into details beyond that. It took me 5 years to get rid of him and accept what happened, but I am a much happier person now and while I work through the trauma that caused me, I have the most wonderful partner by my side and if you had told me back then I’d find someone as kind and patient and loving as him, I would have laughed and thought you were insane.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

Probably what I put on all my fanfic updates: “I know. I’m an asshole.”

60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?

Some kind of shoujo romance but it’s bi also I want a sword.

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

There was nothing more smartass than Alice Synthesis 30 in SAO 18 asking a reporter to open up his head and prove he was human I’m sorry like OOF-

63. five songs that would play in your club?

Get in losers, we’re playing Steppin’ Out by FLOW, Elle me dit by Mika, Blue by Eiffel 65, ADAMAS by LiSA, and Touch Off by UVERworld.

64. favorite website from your childhood?

I was on Webkinz more than I want to admit.

65. any permanent scars?

Yup. I have one on my toe where I split the skin in half. I tripped. I have three surgical scars from when I had my appendix removed. And...the mystery scar. I was supposedly born with a scar it’s at the part where my foot meets my leg on my left side and you can see how it’s stretched over the years if you run your finger over it. The joke is that the doctor taking out my mom’s appendix scratched me in the womb.

67. good luck charms?

Not really a charm but I do have a little Kirito keychain I carry everywhere I go that I fiddle with when I’m nervous.

68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?

Artificial bubblegum. Disgustiiiing.

70. left or right handed?

I am right-handed.

71. least favorite pattern?

Zig-zags.

72. worst subject?

History...I am ashamed. It’s interesting, I just suck at it.

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

Gingerbread and marshmallow. I am a bit picky about mixing foods and flavors, so this was the weirdest I could think up.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

Can you hear that? It’s my hysterical laughter. 12 on a scale of 10. I get up there pretty frequently. Thank you, chronic crippling pain.

75. when did you lose your first tooth?

I...I don’t remember...I don’t even remember...I think I had to be like what...kindergarten?

76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?

THIS IS CRUEL I LOVE ALL POTATOS I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH-Au gratin.

77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?

Aloe!

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

Coffee from a gas station. Mark my words...I will never get grocery store sushi. Ever. Again. My stomach has not forgotten. What a mistake. That was.

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

So, my driver’s license hasn’t had an updated photo since I was 15 and just had a learner’s so I look like I want to murder a man but my school ID I had just run about a mile in the cold because the bus wasn’t running that day and my face is red and I look like I’m crying...probably the school ID...

80. earth tones or jewel tones?

Jewel tones~~

81. fireflies or lightning bugs?

I am from the South and we call ‘em lightnin’ bugs.

82. pc or console?

Errrrr console. I’m not a gamer by any means but there’s way fewer things to press on a console controller.

84. podcasts or talk radio?

Neither...what...no...neither...they will put me to sleep...I will be out in seconds...the most dangerous things...people talking...and then I’m out...

84. barbie or polly pocket?

Barbie, she’s a LOT easier to dress. Those rubber clothes. SMH.

86. cookies or cupcakes?

Cookies but they gotta be the soft ones.

87. your greatest fear?

Being swallowed in the ocean. By a fish or a whale. I don’t play. Church kid don’t play with big things in the ocean with big mouths.

88. your greatest wish?

To make enough of a difference in someone’s life that they learn to love themself.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

Such a selfish thought...gosh...the mere thought of prioritizing someone troubles me.

90. luckiest mistake?

Telling a cute guy sending me dog pictures was an excellent flirting technique as he sent me pictures of his puppy. I immediately thought “oh god I’ve fucked up bad” and at present we’re kinda head over heels for one another so maybe just be stupidly blunt once and a while you might find true love.

91. boxes or bags?

Boxes. My cat didn’t force me to say that. Not at all. Sock, buddy, off the keyboard-

92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?

Sunlight. I like the sun. The sun is my friend. It is warm and would never betray me.

93. nicknames?

Sister calls me “spoony” when she’s being ridiculous. No, I don’t know what that means. Mama calls me “cakes.” I had friends who called me “Deku” because I’m a crybaby. Had a few people DM me and straight up call me “Eugeo” or “Eug.” AJ is technically a nickname.

94. favorite season?

Springtime!!!!! It’s...HERE!

95. favorite app on your phone?

I use like three apps...so Discord.

96. desktop background?

It’s. It’s Kirito and Eugeo. What did you expect.

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

Mama’s, dad’s, mine, and my parents’ house number. And does the emergency 911 count (pahahaha).

(I answered the others in delicateeuphoria’s ask!)

#ask #ask me anything #weird asks that say a lot #ask game #weeaboo-god

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draconida · 6 years ago

Text

Shance Fic Recs (Part two)

And here more Shance's stories!

41- Prettier than most by MissBluebelles [Explicit]

Shiro has fallen hard for the pretty blue paladin he woke up to in Keith's shack. There's no denying it. But while trying to keep those feelings in check, he notices how the beautiful young man slowly distances himself from the team.

When Lance overhears some of his team-mates talking about him behind his back, he finds himself crumbling under the pressure of the responsibilities he has as a paladin. Will he ever be enough? Will he ever be as good as his team?

42- The Alpha Prime of District Six by keir [Explicit and omegaverse]

Lance isn't getting any younger and he desperately wants a kit, but he's been jaded on love ever since his mate left him. It was just something silly at first when he went on a website meant for anonymous hookups; he didn't really think anything would come of it. But when someone catches his interest, he decides to take a risk and ends up with more than he had ever bargained for.

43- Lean On Me by KnightNuraStar

It was the first time Lance would meet any merfolk.

But, he thinks he'll get used to it.

Yup, he could definitely get used to it.

44- You and Her, Forever by starboyshiro

Lance spends Valentine’s Day absorbed in how much his life has changed in just a few short years. Especially about how much of an impact Takashi and Aria had on his life.

45- The Florist Next Door by starboyshiro

Hunk deflates a little, sinking back into the couch. "Just do something, please? I'm tired of seeing moping around because Shiro isn't your Valentine, yet."

"You seem really confident in Shiro's so-called feelings."

"It's easy to tell it's him dude. I know it, you know it. Hell, Blue probably even knows it! The whole damn world knows that Takashi Shirogane likes you!"

46- A Treat for the Eyes by PuppetMaster55 [Explicit]

Lance enjoys teasing his boyfriend with suggestive pics and videos.

Shiro decides to respond in kind.

47- All You Have To Do Is Ask by sitswithcats [Explicit]

Lance is desperate to get fucked, Shiro is happy to help out

The fic where Lance rides Shiro while he flies the black lion that no one asked for but I wrote anyway.

48- The True Freshman by orphan_account

Shiro's sophomore year at Garrison Tech was already off to an unexpected start. Due to an injury, he was forced to take a medical redshirt year, making it his second year of ineligibility to play the sport he loved; his plans were ruined before the first day of classes even began.

His year gets even more interesting after his brother Keith ropes him into taking him to the first party of the year, where he meets another freshman named Lance.

49- Eye of the Storm by ThereWillBeCubes [Explicit, omegaverse and non-con]

Lance alone in the middle of a storm, and a stranger at his doorstep.

50- Ain't No God Where We're From, Darling by PastelClark [References To Rape/Torture]

“You want to release a group of the world’s worst criminals, complete with weapons, and try to get them to work for us.” Idly, Shiro wonders if he’d accidentally ingested a hallucinogen earlier in the day. It wouldn’t be the first time.

“No,” Allura’s voice is disturbingly calm. “I want to temporarily let out a group of incarcerated people I think could be useful for us, under heavy supervision.”

51- The Best Wingman Ever by magisterpavus

“I don’t understand,” Keith said flatly.

“IthinkIhaveabigfatstupidcrushonLance,” Shiro repeated.

Keith rubbed his eyes. “No, yeah, I got that; I just mean I don’t understand what you want me to do about it, Shiro.”

Shiro gawked at him. “Help me, Keith! That’s what best friends are supposed to do, you know, you’re supposed to be my, uh...wingman.” As soon as he said it, Shiro realized what an awful idea it was.

52- The Tailor by DuskBeforeDawn

Now, Lance knows a thing or two about kids, after all he had like a million cousins so he figured he may as well give a helping hand. Not like it was totally for the insanely hot officer, nope, not at all.

53- Nearly Witches (Read: Actually Witches) by TheLanceShow

Shiro, one day, decides to go to a shoppe to stop his nightmares. In the process, he becomes infatuated with a certain witch.

Or;

Lance is a witch and Shiro is under his spell.

54- Super Nanny by mettaverse [Trans Lance, in process]

Shiro has come back from war crippled- his arm is gone, PTSD rules his life, and he barely remembers how to smile. His wife, unable to handle the state Shiro came home in, has left him with their son Keith.

Thus enters Lance, the new nanny. His job, technically, is to take care of Keith at all times. But seeing Shiro, how sad he is, how broken, prompts Lance to personally take over Shiro's life, trying hard to help him pick up the pieces of his life.

55- Get Me Home by singtolife [omegaverse]

“Do you really think all omegas want to be fucked by you? Sorry to break it to you, but you can fuck off “

When Lance's car breaks down before he can even begin the journey home from college, Keith sends his brother Shiro over to help him out. As Lance waits, he's hit on by some asshole alpha who can't take no for an answer.

56- Brace for Impact by shyfoxes

"Not to be rude, my guy,” Lance said, “but you’re wrong. You are worth it. I’m going to prove it to you.”

“By doing what exactly?” Shiro asked, exasperated. “Standing outside Galra Tech with a sign? Spray-painting Zarkon’s car? There’s nothing you can do, Lance.”

Lance held his chin up. “What if I fight you?”

Shiro blinked, jaw dropping. “What?”

“What if I fight you? What if I fight everyone on that list to get to you?” Lance exclaimed. “If I win, you come with me. If I lose - I’ll leave you alone, forever.”

Or, underground fighter Shiro finally learns how to hope again from a persistent guy named Lance.

57- The Call of the Sea by Red_Ce

Lance watched the surface grow farther and farther away, bubbles rising all round, spiraling toward the sky. The waves pulled at his hair to surround his face, strands tickling his lips and freckles. His heartbeat pounded loud in his ears. His heart pulled him down. His fingertips pulled him down. His inadequacy pulled him down. He was drowning in it all.

Then- a flash to his right. Something grey and sleek. Lance righted himself, terror taking hold of his body for two infinite seconds. Prey, his subconscious whispered to him. To whatever this creature is, you are prey.

Lance is insecure and loves the water. Shiro is a carnivorous merman who probably wants to eat him. They meet, and bond.

58- Fluffy Bites by KnightNuraStar

Lance was trying to find a home to settle in.

Though, he's surprised when his home finds him.

Or well.. bites him.

59- Home by starboyshiro

Shiro knows a little bit more about flowers than Lance had anticipated.

60- vivir sin ellos, ya no podría by slimeys

Shiro tries to occupy himself in his surroundings, taking in the cloudy sky, the clanking of the train, the cute guy sitting across from him wearing the exact same outfit.

He's, like, really cute. Shiro doesn’t think he’s seen him before, because if he did, he’d definitely remember that bronze skin and those long legs. His cap is backwards, pulling dark waves off his forehead and revealing the cutest widow’s peak on this side of Snowqualmie. This is too much. Even as he looks down at his phone with a light smile—is he looking at a meme? Does he like memes? Shiro really hopes so—he exudes charisma and charm. Shiro is starting to think that it isn’t the matching clothes that drew his attention.

61- do you got plans tonight? by kalakauuas

Lance doesn’t know this guy, but he knows that being stood up is no fun, so. He takes matters into his own hands.

(and maybe holds Shiro’s while he’s at it.)

62- Shiro, You Horndog You! (Oneshot) by orphan_account [Explicit]

So basically, Shiro gets horny when him and Lance hand wrestle. Because who doesn't get horny af after a good hand wrestle amirite?. Lance says that the loser has to do anything the winner says. You know where that goes. Shiro takes full advantage of this and smut happens, as well as fluff, cuzz who doesn't love a good fluff.

63- Strobes and Stilettos by SpicyRedPaladin [Explicit]

Keith drags Shiro to a rave and promptly disappears. But Shiro finds company in a gorgeous Latino instead.

64- Platform 5 by after_midnightmunchies

To the gorgeous man with the ocean blue eyes whose phone I saved from plummeting off of Platform 5 last Tuesday: I forgot to put my number in it. I haven’t been able to get you out of my head since then. If you feel the same, please meet me there again on Friday, February 14th at 5 pm.

“Who even reads the newspaper anymore?” Hunk snorted.

Lance never expected to be swept off of his feet by a classified ad in the newspaper, but there truly is a first time for everything.

65- Keeping Up Appearances by starboyshiro

“We have a date for you.”

“What!?” Shiro nearly chokes on his own spit.

“She’s a lovely girl. We think you would really like her.”

This time Shiro does choke on his own spit. Coughing wildly for a moment while his mother yells over the phone, asking if he’s okay. Her, oh my god. Quick Shiro think of something!

“I— uh, I have a date already!” Shit, Shiro, not that.

“Oh really? Who is she?”

“He is a very lovely man.” Whoever he is. Shiro’s really digging his own grave at this point.

66- To Dream Of Water by HedonistInk [Explicit, Shape of Water inspired]

For as long as he could remember, Lance had dreamed of water. His dreams felt more real than his waking life, a world swathed in shades of blue and green. Twisting, twirling in the water, it was the one place he felt complete, the only place he felt whole and unbroken and entirely himself. It was the only place he felt free.

And that was when he'd met him, the man from the sea who would change his life forever.

67- Of love and the art of ice cream future telling by taovol

The tale of how Lance solved the riddle that is Mystery Whitepatch Man and gained his phone number in the process.

Lance has the hots for a mysterious costumer.

68- Seashells and Magic by KnightNuraStar

Lance was a water mage who moved into a tiny cottage by the sea.

During one of his disastrous flight lessons he gets to meet not only his neighbor...

But, also his admirer.

69- Magic Cats and Hot Wizards?! by AbandonedLibrary

Lance moves into a new town and finds it very strange. He goes into a store that has a strange cat and GASP! IS HARRY POTTER REAL?!

70- Unicorn Printed Toothbrush by AshesTheTerrible [Explicit, omegaverse and mpreg]

Lance and Shiro have their hands full with a two, four and six year old. Parenting is a challenge, finding alone time even more so. Their date nights once consisted of lavish restaurants and black tie affairs...now they are more along the lines of spending a night in, adorned in sweatpants.

71- An Old Tattoo by AshesTheTerrible [Explicit and omegaverse]

The tattoo is aged now, ink faded, colors years old. It's a time stamp from another phase of Lance's life, a postcard from his past. He was a different Omega then, lust drunk and wild...until he'd met Shiro.

Shiro changed everything.

72- Want You by starboyshiro

Despite Keith often complaining about Lance, he insists Shiro should go on a date with him. For once, Keith had a good idea.

73- My Friend's Hot Roommate by Aesthetic_Demon [Trans Lance]

After Shiro finished college alongside his best friend Keith they settled back in their home town. A few months later Keith announces that a very close friend of theirs will be staying over for a week- and although he's changed quite a bit, Shiro's big ass crush on him hasn't.

74- All For The Best by CrypticGabriel [Explicit, Trans Lance and pregnancy]

It was just one night. Prom night. After being together for a couple years, Lance and his boyfriend Shiro had their first time after a wonderful night of dancing and stargazing. Nothing was supposed to really… come from it.

Much to his dismay, the results he found were not the ones he’d intended to have.

In which Lance gets pregnant and feels it's best to handle it all on his own. But after five years of trying to hide it from Shiro, he had to go back on his word.

75- Unforgettable by HedonistInk

Like a song of love that clings to me | How the thought of you does things to me | Never before | Has someone been more...

Unforgettable.

When Shiro showed up on Lance's ward, Lance didn't expect him to be anything other than just another patient. He never dreamed he would miss him so much when he left.

76- Lost and Found by mysticmajestic

Shiro loses his daughter in the mall. Lance finds her.

77- Something Just Like This by Sarolonde

[19:09] Lance glad my photos were accidentally sent 2 a nice guy like u <3 thank u for not being a creep [19:22] Shiro Uh, you’re welcome. I guess? I don’t know what else I would have even done with the situation. [22:11] Lance u innocent sweet angel unicorn ^_^ g’night kind sir *tips hat* [22:13] Shiro Goodnight, Interesting Stranger.

The wonderful, unexpected consequences of Lance sending partially-nude pictures of himself to a stranger.

78- The Doctor Is In by HedonistInk, ZeroCrowe [Explicit and Trans Lance]

Lance had always hated going to the doctors for anything to do with his reproductive biology. But transitioning and other medical issues meant that Lance had spent more than his fair share of hours around doctors. It wasn’t until he was nineteen and having serious pain issues that his local GP finally referred him to the Gynaecology department at the hospital in the next town over. Fortunately for Lance, it wasn't that far of a drive. Unfortunately for Lance, his doctor turned out to be young and hot. Fortunately for Lance, that doctor thinks Lance is temptingly hot as well.

79- The Engine's Growl by AshesTheTerrible [Explicit and Trans Lance]

Lance had no idea that motorcyles vibrated so much.

The sleek, black, Harley was like a purring beast between his legs. He hadn't been keen on the idea of riding on one. But Shiro had convinced him and now he was having a strikingly fast change of heart towards the entire situation.

80- Rekindling by CrypticGabriel [Explicit, Trans Lance and kids]

Lance was happily married to a Marine Drill Instructor. At least, he thought he was. They'd been married for twelve years and had four kids together, and now he was worried the love was dying.

81- The Other by SuccubustyKisses [Explicit and Non-con]

When another Shiro comes from another dimension, asking Lance to run away with him, and threatening the life of his friends if he doesn’t. Who is Lance to say no?

Preview: “Oh! Right!” Other Pidge sat up straight again, pushing small half moon glasses back up on her nose. “My name is Kate Holt, though I’m sure you all know that. I’m chief communications officer of the Guns of Gamora. We had a recent… betrayal… that we believe will lead to issues for you guys and Sven asked me to contact you and well… give you, Lance, a warning.”

“Wait, me specifically?” Lance pointed up to himself confusion covering his face.

Kate nods. “You see one of our old members, Sven’s twin brother actually… he betrayed us, stole the Altean technology Hunk was using to try to find a cure for the whole mind control thing, used it on our own Lance turning him against us, and with the technology we were developing together to do dimensional jumps… well… he’s in your dimension now.” She shrugs. Guilt written across her face. “We’re not actually sure if he’s after anything, but the fact that he took our own Lance makes us think that he could also go after you.”

“But, why?” Lance looked down at his hands. “I’m nothing special.”

Parts 1 / 2 / 3

#vld #voltron #shance #fic rec #lance mcclain #takashi shirogane #shiro/lance

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hungline · 6 years ago

Text

bubbles

pairing: minjoonseok genre: fluff, mild smut, slice of life, rated m warnings: mild sexual content, rule 63, trans female character words: 1010

summary: Namjoo is lucky to have Hyoseon and Jimin.

When Namjoo walks through the door of their newly-bought home, the air still smelling a tiny bit musty from the house's many years of abandonment, there is no booming stereo or blaring tv to greet her as she does.

There is no mess of shoes at the door or jackets to pick up off the floor and be placed on their coat rack. No stray keys to push back into the bowl in their entry hallway. The kitchen is devoid of smoke and the sizzling sounds of oil in pans.

Even stranger, there's no sign of either of Namjoo's girlfriends.

Generally, when Namjoo comes home from her tiring shift in the research lab, Jimin is in the kitchen making food or ordering takeout for dinner while Hyoseon lounges across the couch or holds an impromptu dance battle with her reflection in the tv's blank screen in the living room. But both rooms are empty and Namjoo isn't very sure what to think.

Still, she goes through her normal coming home routine and kicks off her shoes, satisfied at the way they lie haphazardly across the other pairs near the front door. She slips out of her jacket and pulls her purse over her head, letting them both fall carelessly to the floor. Namjoo walks briskly past the kitchen and skids to a stop once she stands in the doorway of the bathroom.

Namjoo has found her girlfriends.

"Hey, babe," Hyoseon chuckles, her voice low and sultry and Namjoo really should not be turned on by that alone. "Jiminnie and I were waiting for you."

Namjoo blinks, too confused to really understand what her eyes are telling her. Jimin smiles up at her, her cheeks pushing her eyes into crescents and Namjoo melts, suddenly soft.

The girls lie in the bathtub, bubbles galore and hair wet. Namjoo recently cut her own hair into a bob and whenever she sees Hyoseon's long beautiful locks, she can't help but feel a little envious. Jimin's hair isn't very long as well, but it isn't very short either and Namjoo loves it either way. Hyoseon's hair swirls in the bubbles and water, looking silky and strong and Namjoo has the urge to play with it. But first, she should find out what her girlfriends are planning.

"Bubble bath?" Namjoo asks, fingers unconsciously finding their hold in her skirt.

Jimin is still smiling when she responds, "We know how stressed out you've been with work, so this is how we decided to repay you."

Namjoo doesn't have to see to know that her eyebrows have raised of their own accord to silently ask a question, but she asks anyway since she's worked hard to say what's on her mind instead of hoping that the person she's talking to gets the hint. "With a bubble bath?"

Hyoseon shakes her head and laughs (more like guffaws) before she stands and reveals her naked body in all its glory. "A bubble bath and a massage. Jiminnie and I are famous for them, aren't we Minnie?"

"That we are, unnie," Jimin says, a large smile on her face as her cheeks begin to pinken. "We aren't called the massage duo for nothing, you know."

Namjoo can't help but chuckle nervously. This isn't by far the first time that she's been intimate with either of her girlfriends. Still, considering that Namjoo doesn't really have the same anatomy as her girlfriends, she's always been a bit hesitant about having sex with other women in general.

But this is Hyoseon and Jimin. Namjoo has known them for a decade, dating them for half of that, and hopelessly in love with them for eight years. She knows that neither of her girlfriends would ever make her feel bad about having an erection when they get down to business and they wouldn't make it a thing when Namjoo wants to stop. Things are easy between them.

Namjoo really loves them and she really just wants to kiss Hyoseon's boobs right now.

So she does.

Hyoseon grips the back of Namjoo's neck and moans, whining when Jimin stands and helps Namjoo get out of her top. Namjoo simply hums and takes Hyoseon's nipple back into her mouth, rolling the nub gently between her teeth as Jimin pulls her skirt and patiently waits for Namjoo to step out of it.

Namjoo now stands in her bra and panties, an obvious tent forming already, and a bright blush blooming across her cheeks. Jimin hooks her finger into Namjoo's back bra strap and undoes the clasp, smiling when Hyoseon looks over Namjoo to stare heart eyes at her. Namjoo licks across Hyoseon's nipple and chuckles quietly when the older girl keens, her grip in Namjoo's bob tightening.

Jimin finishes undressing Namjoo and waits for her to step into the tub with them. Namjoo is careful as she does it, she's too clumsy to trust herself stepping into a soapy bathtub without falling on her face and taking someone with her all while simultaneously drenching their bathroom with soap bubbles and water. Hyoseon keeps a firm grip on Namjoo's hair and Namjoo shivers a tiny bit when Jimin grips her waist, steadying her.

God, Namjoo loves these girls.

It isn't long before Hyoseon has Namjoo's back plastered to her front, pressing kisses into Namjoo's throat as Jimin starts to massage Namjoo's legs.

Jimin works her way up from the tallest girl's calves all the way up to Namjoo's inner thighs, pausing at the junction of Namjoo's thighs. Namjoo keens when Jimin runs a finger over her rim, her hands soft and the warm scented water making Namjoo feel dizzier than usual. Jimin chuckles the slightest bit as Hyoseon takes hold of Namjoo's shoulders and begins to massage her there, focusing on the areas where Namjoo is especially tense and still pressing kisses to her throat.

Everything is soft and warm and gentle and Namjoo loves them.

The water is just right and their hands are soft as they touch Namjoo all over.

Namjoo is lucky to have Hyoseon and Jimin.

#minjoonseok #namseok #jihope #minjoon #hyunglinenetwork #networkminjoon #namseoknet #kwordsmiths #networkjihope #btsguild #bts #fluff #drabble #p:ot3 #p:hoseok/namjoon/jimin #d:bubbles #m: fic

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reconditarmonia · 3 years ago

Text

Dear Rule 63 Author

Hi! Thank you for writing for me! I’m reconditarmonia here and on AO3. I have anon messaging off, but, er, I can answer any questions you might have about my requests in my mod capacity if you contact the exchange email ;).

Fullmetal Alchemist | Machineries of Empire | Moby Dick | Spinning Silver | Wolf 359

General likes:

– Relationships that aren’t built on romance or attraction. They can be romantic or sexual as well, but my favorite ships are all ones where it would still be interesting or compelling if the romantic component never materialized.

– Loyalty kink! Trust, affectionate or loving use of titles, gestures of loyalty, replacing one’s situational or ethical judgment with someone else’s, risking oneself (physically or otherwise) for someone else, not doing so on their orders. Can be commander-subordinate or comrades-in-arms.

– Heists, or other stories where there’s a lot of planning and then we see how the plan goes.

– Femslash, complicated or intense relationships between women, and female-centric gen. Women doing “male” stuff (possibly while crossdressing).

– Stories whose emotional climax or resolution isn’t the sex scene, if there is one.

– Uniforms/costumes/clothing.

– Stories, history, and performance. What gets told and how, what doesn’t get told or written down, behavior in a society where everyone’s consuming media and aware of its tropes, how people create their personas and script their own lines.

Smut Likes: clothing, uniforms, sexual tension, breasts, manual sex, cunnilingus, grinding, informal d/s elements, intensity.

General DNW: rape/dubcon, torture, other creative gore; unrequested AUs, including “same setting, different rules” AUs such as soulmates/soulbonds; PWP; food sex; embarrassment; focus on pregnancy; Christmas/Christian themes; infidelity; unrequested polyamory; focus on unrequested canon or non-canon ships; unrequested trans versions of characters; swapping female characters to male; unequal levels of investment in the relationship (including concerns about same that turn out to be unwarranted), or the idea of a character accepting something they're unhappy with as the most they're going to get.

A note: if we matched on an / ship, I generally don't require you to include a kiss, sex, or overt romantic language if you feel that you'd have to shoehorn it in. I'll trust that you wrote it with shippy intent.

About Rule 63 Exchange specifically: I have no strong preference for character names, with a slight preference for sticking with their canon names; it’s up to you whether you want to justify any resulting names that would be unusual for women or just gloss over it. As far as characters’ personalities and gender expression are concerned, I tend to want to see them as similar to their canon selves, just female. I’m probably fine with unrequested characters also being swapped to female, but feel free to check if you’re not sure. I don't expect, nor particularly want, a big deal made over characters' strong gender identity qua identity as female or whatnot.

It's a little confusing to tell with the AO3 interface, but I've requested General Audiences on everything, and additionally Explicit on FMA, Machineries, and Wolf 359.

—

Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist

Ship(s): F!Roy Mustang/Riza Hawkeye

I love Roy and Riza's loyalty kink in canon so very much, so...what if they were lesbians

There are definitely some worldbuilding-y places this could go - the Amestrian military obviously has female soldiers in it, but not as many as male, especially at the higher echelons, apparently, and we don't see any female State Alchemists; does Roy's status as a powerful alchemist also vault her into a position of command and influence that most women, barring Olivier, don't get to? With regard specifically to how their relationship is different worldbuilding-wise, some kind of document or documents (newspaper, history book) or other outsider perspective on President Mustang and her decades-long professional relationship with Riza Hawkeye, so close they even live together/travel together/entertain guests together, neither of them ever married, that sort of thing? Is Roy's obfuscating public image in this AU still about going with a lot of women, or are they men? (butch or otherwise known lesbian Roy is great, but also not necessary)

But I'd be equally happy to see a fic that didn't deal with that, and that was just canon dynamics but more so and with lesbians. I love their trust and competence and stoically hidden but very very intense feelings, the willingness to risk oneself or the other person, or to stake a lot on the other person’s competence (and willingness to hurt or sacrifice the other person because their shared cause says it’s right, too, all the times that comes up), the fighting together in tandem. Is there a dangerous mission (or intelligence-collecting situation) where their deep familiarity/trust/awareness of each other’s presence and fighting style and communication come into play (god, that bit in canon where Hawkeye shoots two guys right over Mustang’s shoulder), or where they worry about each other’s safety? I love the "protect my back" exchange so, so much (I'm particularly interested in fics set during a time when that is already part of their relationship history, rather than fics set in Ishval or shortly after, and I am not really interested in fics set when they were children or young adults at all) and the way that, eventually, ends up playing out with regard to Envy. I love the intimacy of their work relationship and personal history, on levels from casual to very intense, and would love it with sexual tension in how they notice and appreciate each other’s physicality and presence and competence (hands??? muscles?) Pining up to 11, or resolved sexual tension? (I would prefer Riza as dom if you write a d/s take on this.)

Fandom-Specific DNW: framing of the Ishvalan genocide as a bad situation that happened to the Amestrian characters; canon-typical loss of body parts.

—

Fandom: Machineries of Empire

Ship(s): F!Shuos Jedao/Ajewen Cheris; F!Shuos Jedao & Ajewen Cheris

I know sound like a broken record throughout this signup, but I love Cheris and Jedao’s friendship and loyalty kink (“Now and forever, I’m your gun” and the kneeling! aaahhh!) and, you know, what if that, but also Jedao were a hot woman.

I don’t have a lot of specific plot prompts - just a general interest in intense feelings, “codependency” as understood by fandom, loyalty and trust holding up under strain, deferring to someone’s competence or sense of ethics even though you don’t know how it will turn out, making difficult choices, verbal or nonverbal displays of loyalty like the kneeling and swearing and the WHOLE KEL GLOVE THING. I’d be excited to read something set during the Ninefox timeframe when Jedao is in Cheris’s head, but I think I would be most interested in something set post-Glass Cannon when oh my god, they were roommates telepathically bonded, after all the plot events that create that strong Jedao->Cheris loyalty. Jedao’s canonical kinks are *thumbs up* (I’ve requested general audiences fic as well as explicit, so it’s also fine if they don’t come up or if they’re referred to but not, er, acted out onscreen).

Fandom-Specific DNW: I’m aware that there’s a lot of torture and dubcon in canon. I don’t mind if you mention that they exist but I’d like to reiterate that I absolutely do not want any onscreen, or any details of torture even mentioned. DNW (explicitly) male Kujen or Ruo in this AU; if you don’t feel like swapping them to women I would rather they not be mentioned.

—

Fandom: Moby Dick

Ship(s): F!Captain Ahab & None; F!Captain Ahab & F!Pequod Crew; F!Ishmael/F!Queequeg

I'd love to know more about these female sailor(s) and what drives them. A female Ishmael might still decide to sign on to a ship whenever she gets the blues, but it'd be socially fairly different, mightn't it? (Worldbuilding-wise, I'd be more interested in a world where sailing and whaling are still typically male things as in our world, even if you make them a little less exclusively male, than an egalitarian or matriarchal world; something that women might do, without necessarily disguising themselves as men, but a GNC thing to do.) Would her already diverging from the "expected" female path in this regard affect her reception of Queequeg as someone who's an outsider to Nantucket society, and the intimacy she offers? What does she still find outlandish? As for Queequeg herself, is her life a typical female life for her home culture, or not?

As for Ahab - just imagine this fanatic, tragic, vengeful character as a woman - with the willpower not only to do all the things canonical male Ahab does but also in a society where women aren't really supposed to sail or kill or lead! Is she the odd one out in an otherwise male crew, or are there more women in the crew by the time she's captain? Was she already a whaler when she lost the leg or, in this AU, did this drive her to become one?

—

Fandom: Spinning Silver

Ship(s): Miryem Mandelstam/F!Staryk Lord

I love Miryem, and I’m so interested in the ways that making the Staryk Lord a woman would change Miryem’s entry into the Staryk world and the romance that eventually develops between them. Maybe same-sex marriage is common among the Staryk, and that’s one of the customs that are new and unfamiliar to Miryem in this new world. Would this be a Miryem who had never imagined being attracted to a woman before but comes to fall for the Staryk Lady, or one who simply couldn’t have imagined being able to marry one and have that be a normal life? (For values of “normal” that include ice lands and gold magic!) How does the fact of the marriage being same-sex affect Miryem’s initial understanding of it as a business arrangement, or for that matter, affect her understanding of the offer of queenship as a marriage at all? What makes them fall for each other?

Canon Miryem wonders what her role as queen is, thinking that she’d know about managing a household and having children and sewing if she were married to a human lord - is it the same if she has a fairy wife instead of a fairy husband, more so because there’s not even the hope of a gendered complementarian aspect to fall back on, less so because the Staryk Lady is there as an example of what a female monarch in the Staryk lands does? Does Miryem try to be more like her, or to find her own accounting-powers-and-personal-bonds niche?

It’s so important to canon Miryem to have a Jewish wedding with the Staryk Lord - what would that look like here? What happens when she comes back to the human world not only the queen of a magic country, but married to a woman (and in love with her, depending on when you set it)?

—

Fandom: Wolf 359

Ship(s): F!Daniel Jacobi/F!Warren Kepler, F!Daniel Jacobi/F!Warren Kepler/Alana Maxwell

My new fandom this year! The SI-5 trio are my favorites, and I'm absolutely wild about the way they openly value and prioritize and trust each other over everyone else who's nominally on the same side. So much of the Kepler/Jacobi dynamic goes directly to my id almost from their first introduction (of Jacobi as Kepler's "good right hand"!) to Jacobi trusting Kepler with his life and following whatever orders Kepler gives and getting angry about Kepler treating him like one of them, not to mention the weird d/s vibes. But I also love their dynamic with Maxwell, not only Jacobi's devoted friendship for her but also the trust and respect Kepler has for her and vice versa (I love the conversation they have about fixing Hera, and the whole episode where Kepler has Jacobi blow up the door to save Maxwell, at the risk of the whole ship because Maxwell is that valuable and Jacobi is that good, and "maybe you were my friend but the Colonel and Daniel were family"). So...f/f? I'd love to see them on some sort of mission or in the aftermath of some sort of mission where that mutual loyalty, even as fucked-up as it can get, comes into play, with Jacobi, Kepler, and Maxwell deferring to one another's judgment and/or orders, protecting each other or deciding when they can risk each other for the sake of the mission, sorting themselves out after... Or just some d/s-y sex, possessiveness etc. Anything really about how they're the only people to each other.

I suppose I envision Jacobi and Kepler fairly similar to their canon versions presentation-wise, which would make them somewhat gender non-conforming as women - there's possibly something interesting there with whatever flavor of performative masculinity canon Kepler has going on - but honestly I haven't particularly given much thought to how they might be different as women, other than that I would find it hot and enjoy a three-way relationship with Maxwell (if that is what we matched on/what you're interested in - I'd be just as happy with Kepler/Jacobi and Maxwell just a friend) more than I would with their canon versions.

Fandom-Specific DNW: role reversal or "subbing to let go/relax" Kepler

—

#dear author letters

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alien-bodies · 7 years ago

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Oversharing Time!!!

(i just made that title up that’s not the official title I’m just Like That)

Ok so @frogyell tagged my main account (I am BLEST) but that’s for Refined Star Trek Content and this one’s for excellent moodboard content and garbage so here’s the garbage!!! I’m putting it under a cut bc it manipulates your brain to want to read through 85 fuckin facts about me more wow I love science

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

1. last drink: Water! off to a great start

2. last phone call: my local Hot Topic. I feel like I should also mention I work there. But if you don’t know that and steal my phone you’ll see I have a contact named Hot Topic

3. last text message: Google sent me a verification code, but the last one I sent was to my brother it says “k”

4. last song you listened to: It’s called The Horror Of Your Love by Ludo, if I had to delete all but one song on my 121-song Best Enemies playlist I’d keep this one it’s Peak and kinda has vore but it’s metaphorical. metavoreical, if you will

5. time you cried: during my latest EMDR sesh! I was in Wales and everything it was a Lot I got ice cream after

6. dated someone twice? Big No

7. kissed someone and regretted it? Not really?

8. been cheated on? my ex had 16 anime dating sims downloaded at one point while we were dating does that count

9. lost someone special? yea

10. been depressed? hella

11. gotten drunk and thrown up? I’ve been drunk 1 time and it was when I was playing English handbells at my dad’s church’s wassail night but I did not throw up no

fave colors

12. Black

13. Lavendar

14. Light blue

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends? Hell Yell!!

16. fallen out of love? k i n d a ? ?

17. laughed until you cried? oh absolutely

18. found out someone was talking about you? OH BOY YUP YUP

19. met someone who changed you? yes! she managed to physically alter my hippocampus without touching it how fuckign whack is that

20. found out who your friends are? It’s always the same miraculous group chat

21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list? sure have

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl? I keep it nice and refined so all of them. My old account is another story

23. do you have any pets? one beautiful and talented cat named Moriarty. A good description is she’s got puppy software on cat hardware.

24. do you want to change your name? listen I’ve been through 4.5 of these fuckers, I like Nate, I’m Quite Finished

25. what did you do for your last birthday? invited 2 pals over, I remember one of them suddenly whipped out I Am The Doctor and the Dr Who theme on the piano out of fuckin nowhere and I was like “Daniel what the hell you’re so talented” and then I hardcore dissociated the rest of the day

26. what time did you wake up today? 10:00

27. what were you doing at midnight last night? chatting w @houseofoakdown and also editing my monstrosity of a fanfiction

28. what is something you cant wait for? Going back to school! then I can graduate in my pajamas and eat creamed corn in celebration

30. what are you listening to right now? the same goddamn playlist, this one’s called Battle Cry by The Family Crest, i cri erytiem

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom? probably???

32. something thats getting on your nerves? my brother vaping in the bathroom with the fan on at 12:30am

33. most visited website: tungle dot hell

34. hair color: I started out blonde af now I’m less blonde but still blonde.

35. long or short hair: short

36. do you have a crush on someone: :[] yes

37. what do you like about yourself: i’m hella smart, my moodboards are bangin, my writing is cool af, I’m well-hydrated at all times

38. want any piercings? Big No

39. blood type: A+!!!!! thats me!!!!!

40. nicknames: my brother calls me a goon sometimes

41. relationship status: im married to my laptop

42. zodiac: I was born on the last day of Taurus so I’m a definite Taurus/Gemini power combo

43. pronouns: they/them, tho in some places I use he/him bc The Dysphoria got hog wild enough I decided to pretend to be a trans guy so ppl would take me seriously, but I’m moving more towards they/them everywhere now.

44. fave tv shows: Dr Fuck, Sherlock (I’m armed with a pitchfork and an arsenal of beefed up tv & film knowledge come on fight me), DOWNTON ABBEY

45. tattoos: in August I will get a bee on my right arm and probably a Secret Word in Gallifreyan on my left it’ll say fuck

46. right or left handed: one time I was bored in grade 10 and tried to make myself ambidextrous but that was a hassle so I’m firmly right handed. Except in archery.

47. ever had surgery: got all 4 wisom teeth out not long ago! I still need to squirt water in my gum holes so I get all the mushy food out :{

48. piercings: I used to have my ears pierced but they’re grown tf over now!

49. sport: first of all what the hell is this question looking for second of all I have a red belt (which is 2 below black belt) in Taekwondo. I really need to do that again hhhhhh

50. vacation: i went to England and France in the summer with my family as a “””grad trip”””, it was lots of fun but my collection of sensory issues extended to chomping and I dissociated so intensely in The Louvre my mom told me to go back outside so I wrote fanfiction while listening to 21 Pilots and chatting w my imaginary friends and it took me like 18 hours to process I’d seen The Mona Lisa with mine own 2 eyes. Also the plane was delayed twice bc we used Air Canada for some godforsaken reason and I had 0 hours of sleep when I went to the Sherlock Holmes museum and I started talkin to this bust of Sherlock Holmes and then I hadn’t eaten enough and we were walking to this bookstore and I said “I need food!” and my dad said “We’ll get it AFTER” then I shouted “I’M GONNA DIE” so I got a BLT from Tesco.

51. trainers: h

more general

52. eating: the last thing I ate was chocolate chips straight out of the bag

53. drinking: I got another cup of water

54. im about to watch: my entire fanfiction to take 3000 notes on consistency. and by watch I mean read

55. waiting for: my brother (not vaping) to get out of the bathroom so I can PEE

56. want: Orphan Black to be on Netflix so I can actually binge watch it then call my grandma about it

57. get married: idk I didn’t think I was a get married person but since realizing I’m a lesbian it seems like a good idea!

58. career: nurse and a writer. I might just move to London and work double time to write enough scripts I have some street cred then pitch a TV adaptation of Faction Paradox to the BBC and win

which is better

59. hugs or kisses: hugs bc it means my friends are in my vicinity not Toronto

60. lips or eyes: uh. eyes???????????

61. shorter or taller: i’m 5′3″ and I would love a tol partner

62. older or younger: i don’t think I care

63. nice arms or stomach: what fresh hell does this mean. I’d like a nice stomach free of gastrointestinal issues and acid reflux. not that I have either of those but just in case

64. hookup or relationship: I have 300 many self-esteem issues so imma say relationship

65. troublemaker or hesitant: AU where I don’t have anxiety and I’m a trouble maker

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger: noop

67. drank hard liquor: I PUT RUM IN THE WASSAIL HELL YEAH also once someone bought me a shot at a queer dance thing bc it was payday and my friend told me to gulp the WHOLE SHOT and then the lemonade so I don’t barf and I was like “brah this is too high-stakes” so I poured the vodka in the lemonade and took sips and everyone stared at me

68. lost glasses: in grade 6 and then my mom threatened to make me wear one of those granny glasses chains so I never lost them again

69. turned someone down: ya this kid Cyrus used to chase me around in grade 5 and I’d run away always he was weird af one time he made out with a folder right in front of me in the middle of class

70. sex on first date: probs not at this point but I’m not opposed to the general idea when I’m less w h a c k e d u p

71. broken someones heart: Not that I know of?

72. had your heart broken: c o n s i s t e n t l y in the most fricked up ways god

73. been arrested: no but once I booed at the police bc the local nazis (yeah) were gonna have a rally so we had a counter-rally and I dropped in but there were no nazis except one old dude in a MAGA hat showed up 2 hours late lmao

74. cried when someone died: oui

75. fallen for a friend: Big Lesbian Mood

do you believe in

76. yourself: YA BB

77. miracles: not as such

78. love at first sight: nah

79. santa claus: I wasn’t allowed to believe in Santa as a child bc he was “too much like God” sad

80. kiss on a first date: ye!

81. angels: big no

other

82. best friend’s name: I don’t exactly have a proper best friend but I’m goin with Liam

83. eye colour: blue/grey

84. fave movie: either The Force Awakens (bc I love bb8 and I’m gay 4 Rey) or Interstellar shut up

85. fave actor: uh idk let’s go with my brother

WOW THAT WAS LONG JEE🅱️US. I’m tagging @houseofoakdown @spoonietimelordy @gemvictorfromtheponyverse @spockswhales @raesand and that exhausts the ppl I know but you’re all worth quadruple in my heart 💖

#Open For Sicc Facts Abt Me #ianposting

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soletuscreate · 7 years ago

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Tagged by @cassiopeia-chasing-the-moon thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rules answer these 85 questions and tag up to 20 people

Last

1. Drink: coffee and chardonnay (not mixed together) 2. Phone call: cvs specialty pharmacy 3. Text message: ari thefaultinourscarves 4. Song you listened to: the one day at a time theme song otherwise somebody else by the 1975 5. Time you cried: i’m copying cassiopeia-chasing-the-moon Yesterday (because of ODAAT)

Ever

6. Dated someone twice?: no 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: no (there’s a lot of questions about kissing i haven’t kissed anyone!!! if a cute girl wants to volunteer hit me up...) 8. Been cheated on: no 9. Lost someone special: yes 10. Been depressed: yes 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: yes.....

Fave colors

12. purple 13. red 14. green (which is a new development green is very good)

In the last year have you…

15. Made new friends: yes!!! 16. Fallen out of love: no 17. Laughed until you cried: yes?? i think 18. Found out someone was talking about you: i don’t think so?? 19. Met someone who changed you: yes 20. Found out who your friends are: sure??? 21. Kissed someone on your facebook friends list: no

General

22. How many of your facebook friends do you know irl: most of them ‘technically’ from high school but a lot of them i don’t recognize anymore 23. Do you have any pets: YES!!!! pretty girl and snowball!!!!! (cats!!!) 24. Do you want to change your name: it depends if i decide to come out as trans and decide that my coming out warrants a name change that is possibly picked out....so it is on the table yes 25. What did you do for your last birthday: i had a driving hour which was....bad and i hung out at home it was not good but they day after was better 26. What time did you wake up today: 12 pm 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: one day at a time!!! 28. What is something you can’t wait for: to fuckin graduate and also i’m seeing an ABBA tribute band next week!!!! i’m pumped 30. What are you listening to right now: i’m watching one day at a time again with ari thefaultinourscarves 31. Have you ever talk to a person named tom: yes!!! 32. Something that’s getting on your nerves: stress from the impending doom of graduating and becoming a Real Adult 33. Most visited website: for 7 years...this blue void 34. Hair color: brown 35. Long or short hair: short 36. Do you have a crush on someone: no i haven’t had a crush on someone in literal years.....it’s been so boring 37. What do you like about yourself: my eyes are good??? my hair is good??? i’m gay??? my sense of humor can be good??? i can be smart 38. Want any piercings?: MAYBE pierce my ears again but other than that i’m good 39. Blood type: the blood kind 40. Nicknames: occasionally lau (like ‘law’) but not really 41. Relationship status: single 42. Zodiac: gemini 43. Pronouns: he/she/they are fine 44. Fave tv shows: right now i’ve been watching one day at a time, grey’s anatomy, the good place, and always sunny but other favs include parks and rec, psych, the office, and brooklyn nine-nine 45. Tattoos: i’ve mostly grown out of wanting tattoos but maybe someday my snoopy/woodstock thing with emily or paw prints from my cats....or just random ones because who cares???? 46. Right or left handed: right 47. Ever had surgery: i got my wisdom teeth out last year but otherwise no 48. Piercings: i had my ears pierced many years ago but they have mostly closed up 49. Sports: walking??? biking??? 50. Vacation: i went to annapolis over the summer which was fun!! 51. Trainers: vans or converse

More General

52. Eating: dinner was chicken pot pie but i’m also eating jax (off brand puffy cheetos) 53. Drinking: coffee and chardonnay (again not mixed together) 54. I’m about to watch: one day at a time 2x13 55. Waiting for: ari thefaultinourscarves to come back to finish one day at a time 2x13 56. Want: to get a job and graduate already!!!!!! 57. Get married: i like the idea but since i have no romantic experience i can’t imagine myself ever getting married 58. Career: no.....

Which is better

59. Hugs or kisses: hugs 60. Lips or eyes: eyes 61. Shorter or taller: taller because it’s hard to be shorter than me... 62. Older or younger: older 63. Nice arms or stomach: i love a good stomach but nice arms are.......very good 64. Hookup or relationship: relationship 65. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

Have you ever

66. Kissed a stranger: no 67. Drank hard liquor: yes 68. Lost glasses: yes 69. Turned someone down: no 70. Sex on first date: no 71. Broken someones heart: i don’ think i have 72. Had your heart broken: yes 73. Been arrested: no 74. Cried when someone died: yes 75. Fallen for a friend: yes

Do you believe in

76. Yourself: :/ 77. Miracles: kind of??? it depends on the miracle 78. Love at first sight: yes 79. Santa clause: no 80. Kiss on a first date: if it ever happens yes 81. Angels: no

Other

82. Best friend’s name: caitlin 83. Eye color: brown 84. Fave movie: carol 85. Fave actor: tatiana maslany

i’ll tag @jessiemueller because she’s tagged me in a bunch of stuff and whoever is my most active followers... @bellatrihx @merriemelodie but anyone reading this............................consider yourselves tagged if you want to be tagged

#laura.sav #ask game #tagged in

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fenweak · 7 years ago

Text

a kane/toews rule 63 + genderswap fic rec. just because.

short = ~2,000

medium = 2,000 - 20,000 words

long = 20,000 - 60,000 words

novel length = 60,000~ words

★ are personal faves

girl!Jonny

Bluehawk by aohatsu ★ - explicit | medium | friends with benefits | podfic by exmahater

Jo sleeps with Kaner for the second time when she’s twenty-one and gets drunk off her ass in a bar in Vancouver.

only wanna dance with you by maleyka - explicit | medium | pwp

"Comfortable?" Jeannie asks tonelessly, and Patrick wriggles a little more, just to annoy her."Perfect," he says, deriving a great amount of pleasure from Jeannie's huffy sigh.

Jehanne Toews tag by SimoneCloseau (WIP) ★- expicit | medium | hockey player Pat and med student Jonny yesss

like you want me to - explicit | medium | pwp | podfic by exmanhater

So it's easy, when they're drunk and high on winning, and they've been dancing for a while, and Kaner is so so close and breathing heavily against her ear. It's so easy to say, "Wanna go back to mine?"

get on your knees (you’ve got something to prove) - explicit | medium | friends with benefits | pwp

“I am actually pretty good at sex though,” Patrick says as a non sequitur, picking back up on the conversation from earlier.

forever i’ll try for you and I by staraflur - teen | medium | college

It’s extra great—whenever Jo’s losing, she always makes like their running point tally competition isn’t real. Tonight’s true to form: when Trish holds up three fingers and points at herself, then two before pointing at Jo, Jo actually scoffs as she pokes at a couple chicken breasts with the tongs, trying to find the best one.

girl!Kaner

Two-Way Forward by exmanhater, torigates ★ - explicit | medium | epistolary | podfic

“I think I’m on my phone enough as it is, you know, always texting and emailing, and people complain that I get back to them three, four days later, I’m not fast enough for that. I’m bad enough as it is, and I feel like I’m always on my phone.”

Or; Five Times Pat emailed Jonny and one time he emailed her back.

Like You Have a Secret by Linsky - explicit | long | friends to lovers | girl in disguise | now with a hot new sequel!

Patricia Tabitha Kane is the best freaking hockey player in the NCAA, and it is ridiculously unfair that her brother is the one with an invitation to the Blackhawks prospect camp.

something old, something new by longtime_lurker ★ - explicit | medium | friends to lovers | outdoor/wedding sex! | podfic by exmanhater

Jonny's standard canned press response is that he loves Kaner like a sister...which is perfectly true, if you’re talking like on Game of Thrones.

Like Other Girls by BlackEyedGirl - mature | medium | female friendships | podfic by smoulderandbraids, by | art by esouffle

Pat's relationship with the media has been fraught since she was drafted, second round, home to Buffalo. Her relationship with her new Captain, when she eventually winds up in Chicago a couple of years later, doesn't start off a whole lot better. But by the time she's flying back from Biel, she's willing to admit that she had missed their thing just a little, weird as he's always been around her.

Write Our Names On the Wall by twentysomething ★ - medium | friends with benefits

"What are you saying?" Johnny says slowly, because this sounds like she's trying to pick him up, which is impossible, because if Kaner has one concrete rule, it's ‘anyone but teammates.’

"We can help each other out here," Kaner suggests, crossing her legs in her too-short skirt. "That's all. Two friends helping each other out in a dry spell. You're free to do whatever. It wouldn't be a big deal."

Cutting Into You series by elisera - explicit | medium | friends to lovers, established relationship | friends with benefits

Maybe she needs to stop complaining to him about guys not dropping everything to fuck her. Kaner does, and he’s basically been looking at her ever since they both hit puberty, so. + There’s people everywhere, music thumping through the main room and drowning out most of whatever everyone’s shouting at each other, and she needs to get out there, right in the middle of it, celebrate the fuck out of this Cup win with her team, but Johnny doesn’t give a single fuck right now. First things first.

anorgasmic girl!Kaner by fourfreedoms ★ - explicit | medium | follow up here | slack shenanigans and elevator hijinks, and a smug Jonathan making girl Patrick have the time of her life. A+

Life is a Dance Floor by bessyboo, thisissirius - teen | medium | friends to lovers

The first time I met Jonathan Toews, he let a door close in my face. Not one of those metaphorical doors that get shut ‘cause I’m a girl in the NHL, but a literal door.

Pat and Jonathan lean on each other to get through an unexpected loss. this is a story about grief, and a love solid enough to help you out of it.

patricia kane, figure skater by allthebros - short | olympics AU

the shape of you by thundersquall - explicit | medium | college AU

Patricia Kane. Well, Jonny at least has her name now.He can't help but watch her as she pulls herself out of the pool to sit at the side, laughing at something Dayna just said. She lifts her arms to fumble at her bun and then pulls her hair-tie off, shaking her hair out; Jonny stares, transfixed, as a cascade of thick blonde curls tumble down her back."Oh boy," Sharpy says. "Guys, Tazer is smitten. Look at his face.""Shut the fuck up," Jonny says, as the guys start hooting and laughing. "I just - I think she's pretty cute, that's all."

Pat(ricia) by friskaz - teen | medium

There's no way to tell, with her clothes on, that she's not who she says she is, Patrick Kane, rockstar of the NHL.[Always-a-girl AU]

Zero is our hero. by BoyGirlBothNoneImTheUniverse - mature | medium | high school AU

Patricia Kane gets a boyfriend and not much else happens.

Hang Up and You Call Right Back by cupstealer, SimoneCloseau (WIP)- explicit | medium | enemies to lovers | college AU

Toews. Diana is grinding with Jonathan Toews. Aw, really? That guy? She hates that guy. Pat watches, disgusted as he bends his head to Diana’s neck, lips skimming the skin there.

Patricia Kane unwittingly follows Jonathan Toews to UND.

Think We Fell In Love + sequels | podfic - explicit | medium | friends with benefits |

Jonny and Kaner have a lot of sex. Then they're dipshits about it.

+ Post-lockout sex.Or, Jonny and Kaner are still dipshits, but now they're dipshits who know they're in love with each other.(now with bonus fisting pwp)

This song is the cross that i bear (bear with me) - explicit | medium | friends to lovers | ice dancing AU

Because when you get right down to it, winning a gold medal was always more plausible to him than sleeping with Joanie Toews.

+ genderqueer Pat:

Drawing Lines In The Palm of Your Hand by Sharksdontsleep - explicit | medium | podfic by Opalsong

“I kind of proved a lot of people wrong and proved to myself I can play this game in this body.” - Pat Kane

Genderqueer AU.

cause everyone’s heart doesn’t beat the same- explicit | medium | trans Pat

"Thirteen year old Pat Kane has short hair and a shorter temper, stands at five foot nothing and wants you to know about it. He plays hockey like he'll die if he can't, and if you have a problem with him, you have a problem with his whole team.

That's the way he's always wanted it."

1988 femslash!

That Round and Round Thing series by exmanhater ★ - explicit | medium | podfic by bessyboo | roller derby AU

Pat’s pretty sure this has been the most confusing week she’s ever had since that time in fourth grade when she got her period for the first time in the middle of gym while wearing white shorts and thought she was dying, despite her mother’s previously imparted information about puberty (true fucking story). Or, the real account of how Patricia Kane and Jonny Toews, roller derby stars, finally pulled their heads out of their asses and started banging.

Shut Up Honey by aohatsu - teen | medium | mutual pining | friends to lovers | podfic by exmanhater

It's just a little frustrating, that Patricia can be so good at their sport, and then still look the way she does.

press yourself into me series by LikeAMovieIOnceSaw - explicit | medium | established relationship | pwp

"Oh my gosh, look at that butt" was the first thing she'd ever said to Jonny. They went from there.

I Was Busy Thinkin' 'Bout (Girls) by Linsky - explicit | long | friends with benefits

Jonny looks away quickly, cheeks going hot. She knows better than to stare at other girls’ breasts in the locker room.

You Might Want To Turn Your Head by exmanhater - explicit | medium | pegging! | established relationship | second part of a series about colliding genderbending universes

"It's not very big," he says, voice light and teasing. "You think I can't handle more than that?"

"We'll get there," Jonny says. "Start slow, eh?"

Patrick laughs. "Oh, for sure," he says, doing his unfortunately accurate generic Canadian accent. Jonny doesn't think it's fair that she lives full-time in a world where Patrick Kane has a decent Canadian accent, but as long as she gets to wring orgasms out of him, she's prepared to accept it.

Pass Me Through Your Fingertips - mature | medium | friends with benefits

Five Times Jonny Noticed Kaner and One Time Kaner Noticed Her Back

“I mean it, Tazer baby. We’re gonna show those boys how it’s done.”And Jonny looked her up and down one more time, before reaching out to tug a few curls into place, flicking her on the nose once for good measure.“We always do,” she said, and her gaze was locked on Kaner’s and Kaner felt like she could take over the entire world.

girl i've never loved one like you - explicit | medium | roomie troubles

Pat has the hotel room to herself, and she decides it’s not at all unreasonable to make good use of her alone time to have some, ahem, alone time.And then Toews walks in.(In which Kane and Toews face orgasms and feelings. They do alright.)

Strings Definitely Attached - mature | short | pining | podfic by exmanhater

“It’d be convenient, and it makes sense,” Pat says when she brings it up, her shoulders curving in a shrug as she slides her way into Janie’s space and lets her fingers brush Janie’s wrist in a touch that’s innocent, a sly, winsome smile on her face that is anything but.

genderswap

i get a good feeling that i never had before, no no by forochel - explicit | medium | suddenly-a-girl!Pat

kaner gets turned into a girl in the aftermath of game 6.me in an email: "it takes their minds off the loss okay! like, who the fuck can break down over that when they have this problem to solve. right here."and solve it they do. they solve it hard. everywhere. all day long.

pretty good looking for a girl by liketheroad - medium | suddenly-a-girl!Jonny

In which Jonny turns into a short, ugly girl, but Patrick still wants to hit that anyway.

my backwards walk - explicit | medium | suddenly-a-girl!Jonny |

Jonny groaned again, then flinched at the sound of his own voice. He lifted his head and shoulders off the bed, stared down at his now much more shapely body. Threw his head back on the pillow, closed his eyes tight, then opened them again.

The breasts were still there.

still into you by altri_uccelli ★ - explicit | novel length | suddenly-a-girl!Jonny | friends with benefits

It's not even 12 hours after Jonny discovers he's a girl that he's sprawled on an itchy sofa, biting on his fist and being eaten out by Patrick Kane. He can't believe that a day exists in which having oral sex with Kaner, his oldest friend on the team and frequently a pain in his ass, is not the weirdest thing to happen.

Disney Rules and Physics by sailorstkwrning - teen | medium | parallel universe

Patrick Kane and his rule!63 self swap places; Jonny gets them back where they belong.

Do You Know What You Started? by Linsky - explicit | medium | porn with feelings | masturbation

Jonny gets turned into a girl, and Patrick doesn’t recognize him. Jonny really shouldn’t take advantage of this.He really, really shouldn’t.

the shadow and the frame by longtime_lurker - explicit | medium | friends with benefits

"Quit freaking out," Kaner says, breath hot in Jonny's ear. "We're both chicks right now, nothing gay about that.""Do you even listen to yourself?" Jonny mutters.

For fic inquires. Rec me a fic?

Happy reading!

#patrick kane #kaner #jonathan toews #1988 #kane/toews #i just like lists ok? ok

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