#is this relatable to anyone at all. like i'm being serious is this knowledge people have or care about

[waveridden]

it fucks me up so bad that joey graceffa is a minecraft youtuber. when i was a teen i watched the amazing race with my family every week and i remember joey and meghan the youtuber team bragging about how combined they had almost one million subscribers. they were fucking beasts too like they did extremely well on their season and came back for all stars. and i know that both of them have gone on to do other things and joey wrote a book and did escape the night or whatever and meghan apparently cowrote radiant pink, something i just learned right now while writing this post, but the thing is forever and always both of them are bright-eyed 21-year-olds and now i'm watching sos and empires and whatever and it's like. what do you mean that's joey graceffa

[forgettable-au]

WHAT IS THIS AU? HOW DOES IT WORK?

A brief (I'm lying, this is a long post) explanation post for this AU for anyone new <3

As I've mentioned before, this AU is based on the theory that Papyrus is (was) Gaster. I did not create this theory, it has existed for a long time as far as I know and I'm also not the first person to do something like this with the concept, I'll touch up on that later.

This is a LONG post, so click keep reading if you really want to check it out :D

About the Papyrus is Gaster theory

I've looked up a lot of stuff about it but I don't actually know where it originated. It's not super popular but if you're a Papyrus theorist you might have heard of it before.

It's not a super serious theory really, it's more about pointing out the weird connections and similarities between Papyrus and Gaster and giving an explanation to the many weird things about Papyrus and his lack of backstory.

Just to mention some things:

Them both speaking in capital letters, having no asterisks, their weird way of phrasing things, Papyrus being described as forgettable, Papyrus hating hotland, pretending he doesn't know about a lot of stuff ( The lab for example, he know what a lab is but pretends he doesn't in front of Sans), Gaster being related to hands and Papyrus never taking his gloves off, Papyrus weird connection with phones (his photo-graphic memory for phone calls) and Gaster's weird connection to phones also(Fun events related to phones, using the phone in the darkworlds and only getting Gaster's garbage sounds), their love for puzzles (The CORE is a giant puzzle), THAT one quote that I still find misterious “beside, it’s rude to talk about people that are listening, right? not everyone is as though as my brother”, Papyrus DOES have Gaster blasters it's pretty much canon even if a lot of people ignore it, Papyrus is very very smart he has a LOT of books, knowledge on many subjects, building stuff, and even made a shakespeare reference when he died (why is he like this lmao), he's the character with the most dialogue in game yet we don't know a lot of stuff about him, he breaks the laws of physics and of the game, he's not in deltarune the heavily Gaster connected game.

Now that's some of the things I could think about, and look, yeah I'm probably looking too much into it and these are all just coincidences and the weird Papyrus things are related to other stuff maybe not Gaster. But I still like this theory, not because I think it's real but because I LOVE the possibilites!!!

About how this AU works

Okay, so this au is basically a -pretend this theory is real and how would the undertale timeline work then!- We're giving Papyrus his backstory and I'm also making a Gaster focused story at the same time.

I will adapt basically how I think a situations like this would play out (and also add some of my other favorite ut theories as a treat)

Papyrus used to be Wingdings and then Wingdings shattered across time and space, Papyrus and Gaster are different separate people.

Actually I kind of, treat WIngdings before and after accident as different people also... you change a lot when you become an omnipresent being. So, Wingdings, Gaster and Papyrus I treat them all as different people.

"How did Gaster become Papyrus?"

He didn't "become" Papyrus just like that. After he shattered he stopped existing like he was before, he became a being in another layer of the game but physically his body was just there

I based this on how the goners and Gaster followers have counterparts that are not, uh, goners that look different or deformed and gray

Papyrus was just kind af an empty shell at first, he still kept parts of Wingdings original personality but his Papyrus personality developed on his own with time!

"How did Gaster shatter across time and space?"

Usually everyone agrees it was because he fell into the CORE

About similar content

Not here! I don't think the CORE caused his accident, it is a power source not a time and space altering machine. In this story it was some other thing he was working on, and it wasn't so much of an accident per se

If you have more questions you can check the frequently asked questions post or send me an ask <3!!

I've seen some people tell me this is a good idea for an AU and I agree!! I love this idea so much, but as I said before I didn't create this concept or theory I just love it a lot!! and was desperate for content wich I surprisingly did not found much of

I was so surprised, I really thought there would be more people that made this before but I couldn't find much, so I'm just making it myself and one of my goals is to maybe make other people like this idea and make their own takes on it !! cause i think it's neat and would love more perspectives and content

If you by any chance also like this concept as much as I do I just wanted to make this section to name some inspirations for this AU

First, you all should really see "I know that I know nothing" by linssins

It's because of this comic that I discovered that theory in the first place and really loved the concept. It's my main inspiration, unfortunately the comic is unfinished. If you see it you will definitely see how I took inspiration... Still my story and this au is a different take on the theory, it goes on a different path.

Also another inspiration for finding more stuff about the theory were

@askthesciencesquad This comic is paused but it's also a Papyrus!Gaster comic! and I was very happy to find it, it is also a very different take on the concept but I liked where it was going. The same person also has this other blog where they put a lot of Papyrus is gaster stuff :0 @deviodofmeat

Okay so that's it, maybe I missed some stuff? but if I remeber i'll just add it later, that's what's good about tumblr.

[gothamite-rambler]

If Odysseus was luckily bestowed demigod status after he died

And knowing he could easily take on Poseidon, Odysseus took the time to mess with him even more. After all, he was related to Hermes, the god of mischief. No one stopped Odysseus because he was kind of warranted this after the insanity he went through to get home.

Poseidon, Hades, Ares, Odysseus, Zeus, and Hera were having brunch together. Hera brought over another stack of pancakes for the group.

Hera: Ody, enjoy the brunch, but is Penelope not joining us today?

Odysseus: She's exhausted from last night, but she does love your cooking.

Hera: And I love her and you because you're a good man who doesn’t cheat on his wife.

Hera glared at Zeus before sitting down next to him.

Poseidon (scoffing): You act like he’s a hero.

Zeus: Not this again.

Odysseus: Let him whine again; he's still hurt that I wounded him with his own weapon.

Odysseus smirked, relishing the chaos he was stirring.

Poseidon (frustrated): At night, I can still feel the trident in my chest, puncturing my organs.

Odysseus (mocking tone): Oh boo freaking hoo. I made more use of it than you ever did, fucking idiot.

Poseidon (defensive): Hey, I’ve done serious damage to mortals, taken down fleets, made men fear me, and used the water as my body to do all of that! I am tough as steel! One human man was never an issue to me!

Odysseus (smirking): All I remember is you begging me to stop while I stabbed you with your own weapon. Then you thought you won our battle by making me a monster like you. I wanted to get home, you got upset because I didn't kill the son that from my new knowledge you never visited. Whatever makes you happy though.

Poseidon: You've heard legends about my strength and power!

Odysseus (after finishing his tea): Then I saw that you are powerful and have small penis energy and had to one up a human man. You know, like bitches do.

Poseidon (angry): I could dropkick your ass right now I don't care if other people are here! I don't give a fuck!

Odysseus (grinning): I can definitely beat your ass now as well. Want to test that theory?

Ares (intervening, amused): Uncle Poseidon, stop before he uses someone else's godly weapon on you.

Odysseus (snickering): You think he'd cry this time?

Poseidon (shouting): Okay, why is he here?!

Ares (nonchalant): Hey, leave my great-nephew alone. I invited him over for brunch.

Poseidon (exasperated): He’s not welcome here! I want him out of this brunch now!

Ares took a quick sip from his tea cup then placed it back down on the saucer. He was a God of War, but not lacking in good taste when it came to tea.

Ares (maintaining his composure): Those who want him to stay, raise your hands.

Ares, Hades, Zeus, and even Hera raised their hands causing Poseidon to shake with rage as the tides outside matched his enraged energy.

Ares (with a satisfied grin): You've been outvoted, unc. Sit down and eat your pancakes. You can fight him afterwards.

Odysseus chuckled, snatching a pancake off Poseidon's plate. The God of the Tides stood up and stomped out of the room in frustration.

Poseidon: I will be waiting outside!

With that, he left in a huff, the rage causing the tides outside to churn wildly for a few moments.

Odysseus (chuckling, mischievous): I'm glad that you welcomed me and my family to Olympus. This has been a fun time so far.

Zeus (pleased): Yeah, we all enjoy your company, and it's only been a year so far.

Hades (with a bemused expression): Honestly, anyone who makes either of my brothers this mad is always hilarious to me. Poseidon has a serious grudge against you, and it's been a long time since that last happened.

Zeus (shaking his head, incredulous): I can't imagine being that petty and holding a grudge for so long.

Ares (rolling his eyes): Dad, even I know that's a lie.

[vilevexedvixen]

Gross take on Laios

*Please DO NOT harass this person. I am linking the video so people can hear her own words and come to their own conclusions about it. For what I'm concerned about (her warped view of Laios and autism) it's mainly after the 15 minute mark.*

TW: Mentions of past trauma (bullying and SA), and ablism related to autistic traits.

So I think I've stumbled across the worst take on Dungeon Meshi out of nowhere. Their points on the tonal whiplash of Dungeon Meshi juggling the fantasy cooking show and more serious plot are all sound... until she get's to Laios. *Edit: No, none of the video's criticisms are sound. The first half is them not parsing very standard mixes of tones and themes in fantasy anime, and the second half is just hateful, incoherent nonsense.*

Laios' flat affect, tendency to infodump, and not grieving Falin the way Marcelle does led her to the conclusion that Laios is a malicious psychopath. A little bit extreme. Made worse by the fact that she then deems any fans attributing autistic traits to Laios as infantalising and implying that if you relate to Laios you are similarly awful with - "What kind of autistic people are YOU hanging out with?! What kind of autistic person are you being???".

She then goes on to say, "The only one who calls out Laios is Shuro" over the clip of their fight. The fight that many autistic fans of the show I've met relate to because they've experienced the same fight. That fight is Shuro calling Laios out on... what? Laios being too open, smiley and blunt? Like that's harming anyone?

Shuro, frankly, threw a tantrum over motives he attributed to Laios that didn't exist and demanding Laios be less open? THAT'S "calling him out"?

None of Laios' actions that this woman is bemoaing harms any of his party members. He goes out of his way to try and help the team (with his monster knowledge, fighting skills, cooking, etc.) consistently and him not ugly-crying when Falin is resurrected doesn't diminish any of that. His care and compassion are heartfelt and sincere. The fact this woman refuses to acknowledge any of it is her perrogative, but I seriously question her choice to pull the "as an autistic person" card only to paint autistic traits in the worst possible light and insist they must be changed, or removed by "growing up" (an especially laughable sentiment given Shuro's very NT tantrum over not understanding autistc communication differences literally ONLY Shuro took issue with).

In the comment section, she also claims that "Masking is only in mundane situations". Says who? Either she's extremely sheltered or she's extremely short-sighted regarding other autistic peoples' experiences (which I guess explains her praise of Young Sheldon's depiction of autism).

Masking is a defence mechanism meant to help autistic people avoid danger and social rejection (which often leads to harm, so still danger). Masking can be performed in literaly ANY situation where someone feels they need to, unless they're already too overwhelmed or drained to continue masking. I have masked because I NEEDED to while being bullied, cornered (barely evading SA or trying to get through an SA/dissociate), trying to find help while stranded in a foreign country, etc. I know not everyone will've experienced such situations, but I doubt no one masks during similar ones. That isn't to say people don't mask in mundane situations, it just isn't exclusive to mundane situations.

If this lady actually is autistic and not just claiming to be so people who don't know better feel vindicated in her portrail of autistic traits in the worst possible light, then I sincerely hope she touches grass and talks to more autistic people sometime.

*Again, PLEASE don't harass this gal. The rest of her critiques are fine, but I needed to vent my frustration with her perpetuation of misinformation about autism. It is NOT ok.*

[mylight-png]

I just got a stupid reblog saying that "Hamas doesn't want to kill Jews it wants to get rid of colonialist Zionists" and shit. I've already addressed that, being indigenous to Israel, we literally cannot be colonists there, and the history confirms this. That is not the point of this post, however.

If the antisemites will not take my word for it, maybe they will listen to their beloved "resistance group" Hamas and when they are clear about their goals.

So, with that being said, let's take a look at their founding charter, shall we?

"The Prophet, Allah bless him and grant him salvation, has said:

'The Day of Judgement will not come about until Moslems fight the Jews (killing the Jews), when the Jew will hide behind stones and trees. The stones and trees will say O Moslems, O Abdulla, there is a Jew behind me, come and kill him. Only the Gharkad tree, (evidently a certain kind of tree) would not do that because it is one of the trees of the Jews.' (related by al-Bukhari and Moslem)."

Hmmm. Yes, they definitely only want to get rid of Zionists. For sure. That's why the word "Zionist" was mentioned so many times in this statement of genocidal intent. For sure. (Sarcasm, by the way.)

Let's take a look at another part, hm?

"Our struggle against the Jews is very great and very serious. It needs all sincere efforts. It is a step that inevitably should be followed by other steps."

Right yes, their struggle is against the Zionists. Not the Jews. For sure. How could I not have seen this before? (Again, sarcasm. Obviously.)

They also mention Jews in addition to Israelis and Zionists as a group of the people they don't like, as well as Christians, such as here:

"'But the Jews will not be pleased with thee, neither the Christians, until thou follow their religion; say, The direction of Allah is the true direction. And verily if thou follow their desires, after the knowledge which hath been given thee, thou shalt find no patron or protector against Allah.'"

Uh. Who is gonna tell them that Jews do not seek to convert anyone? (They might just be referring to Christians, I'll give them that.) However, they still do very clearly vilify those who do not subscribe to their beliefs, and it almost seems as if they wish to violently convert them. Y'know, with the "thou shalt find no patron or protector against Allah". Just saying.

So yeah. Hamas aren't your "freedom fighter" heroes. They are a terrorist group based in genocidal intent.

If you ignore this and fail to condemn them, maybe you just hate Jews. Just saying.

I feel like I'm being a lot more... Not blunt, but I suppose more sassy? With my tone? If that makes sense? But you know what, I'm so fed up with these people not bothering to read a document that is incredibly easy to find online. How can you support something you know nothing about?

So yeah. Hamas's original founding document says it all.

The Antizionism movement is founded, steeped, and marinated in antisemitism.

[threetrenchcoatsinatrenchcoat]

How to win Dirty Laundry.

I'm no expert on lying or deduction, I just take this show pretty serious when I watch it, and I think the patterns to notice in this game offer a cool lens into interpersonal communication.

I. How to not catch liars. Liars largely aren't that spottable. Buckle in for this one: it's usually easier to eliminate ~3 honest people than to find one liar. Liars tend to be hyperaware of everything they do and end up doing nothing. Everyone's all too aware of the concept of tells, so here are some anti-tells that actually work.

The first to talk after hearing the secret read is a truth teller. Seriously. I can maybe count on one hand the number of times the liar spoke first, but everyone alllllllways ends up suspecting the first talker.

If someone unnecessarily implicates themself, they're likely a truth teller. For instance, giving a related anecdote is a strong anti-tell.

Truth tellers will dig deeper into the wording and theorizing cause they're actually trying to find a liar.

Less solidly, the biggest, flashiest accusers tend to be truth tellers. Liars try to fade into the background, so if someone is going ham on a theory--and not simply after they've been targeted--it's often someone unworried about the attention.

II. How to catch liars. There are somewhat tells. Sometimes. There are more in this list than the previous, but this is all less sure. The rest of your natural suspicions will help. The state I'm in when I get more things right is aware of my instincts but not reliant on them.

If everyone thinks someone's the liar, they're right.

Don't let anyone off the hook. Accuse for whatever reason, then see how they react.

Because liars usually act the same each time they lie--going quiet, going loud, accusing, double bluffing, whatever. My theory is people have a strong pre-built idea of what looks suspicious, so they won't be worried about lying the same way as last time as much as being suspicious at all.

Liars sometimes act ignorant and way overdo it. Like folks who say they're unaware of basic relevant world knowledge or fully skipped relevant life experience or just forgot the question. It's possible but it's suspicious.

There are some contestants who are just good liars. There usually aren't multiple in one episode (besides Lily and Grant, but it's safe to ignore them as a baseline). If someone fully outwits me on their first lie, especially by breaking any of the above patterns, and I have no suspects later, I'll just have to suspect them. Aabria Iyengar and Anna Garcia could sell me sand in a desert.

Not sure how the show's edited and how much of this is actually applicable to people in the game, but there's always some meta information for us to use. Everyone will get at least two secrets in the episode somewhere, usually no one will repeat until three distinct people have had a turn, often exactly three, they tend to space out each guest's secrets, and Lily and Grant will rarely appear early or be the episode's title. If someone's been on a previous season, they're probably not gonna bring anything crazier than then.

III. How to lie. Mostly chill out a little bit. Unless you're a trash liar.

Don't talk first. As stated above, you won't fool me, but there's less of me than people with the opposite belief.

Be the second to accuse someone. Everyone remembers the accused and the first accuser, but the quiet "oh yeah I could see X doing that" gives the theory a ton of validity while flying fully under the radar.

Don't say "I know it sounds like me, but this one's not me." (Even though truth-tellers and liars both say this all the time.) The best way to lose heat is to confidently say this couldn't ever have been me.

While you're doing so, make the justification very, very concise. Simple nonsense is more compelling than convoluted truth.

You do have to have good secrets. This is an entertainment product more than a competition, so the show will probably want the craziest story, but an uncharacteristic, mild secret will always fool more people than a buckwild but on-brand one.

[yooniesim]

this as a prime example of what is wrong with simblr (and tumblr in general). this ask was sent to me within like less than a day of that post about cf going up, while I was away for the weekend and not at pc for days. I did not even see the post until right before I got this ask. yall are so damn terminally online that you lost the gd plot and cannot comprehend someone not keeping their finger on the dying pulse of the performative activism headquarters of the internet. and you definitely can't comprehend waiting for complete info or maybe just a full day before starting some reactionary bs. just peeking in here since yesterday i see that simblr is yet again so hyped up on smelling its own farts that it's turned an issue of genocide into yet another dick measuring contest of who can reblog more posts than one another the fastest so they can look more empathetic and better than anyone else. and call themselves "real activists" for being able to click the reblog button. not to mention the usual spamming anons to random people minding their own business. yall are weird as fuck and need to get a firm grip on some grass. stop making the horrific suffering of others about yourselves for once.

that being said, let me get serious for the people on here that are actually normal. for those that don't know by now, this anon seems to be referencing this post about cf, which talks about overwolf (the company that owns curseforge) donating to the IDF. But I also found this tweet by OOP made after that post that explains they have since received DMs from Overwolf stating that they have shifted their relief efforts to aiding victims that have lost their homes from the Hamas terrorist attacks exclusively and do not fund the IDF. this is a much better cause as the victims of terrorism definitely deserve to be helped, and it makes sense they would do this as an Israeli company. The DMs also clarify that it is donation based and nothing uploaded to cf (cc/mods) contributes to this effort whatsoever. As well as Overwolf/Curseforge revenue in general. So simply using curseforge does not mean that you fund or endorse genocide. OOP calls their new efforts commendable in that tweet but I am still looking into and keeping an eye on this matter since, as we know, more information could come out later that contradicts this. And since I have been away im still catching up on everything that has been posted relating to cf.

here are the pics for those that may not have Twitter. do I still support a boycott for those that want to? oh, absolutely. I know that many will still want to boycott regardless, and I'll be working to add alt links to my cc uploads as soon as possible (the ones that don't already have them) for those that don't want to use it. However, everyone I've seen wanting to boycott seems to want to do it because a) they believe overwolf is funding the IDF (apparently is not true) b) they believe having their uploads on cf or downloading from there will fund the IDF (apparently is not true) or c) overwolf itself is an Israeli company (is definitely true). therefore based on the new info we now have some may decide not to boycott after all or will still do so, it is a personal decision. will I be deleting my account there? for now, no.

to be completely honest, I'm in a really bad place financially right now, and while it isn't much, the little bit I get from cf downloads has been exclusively going towards my meds and dr appointment bills. I don't have the option right now to turn down the small amount of added income when I am currently living day to day, especially with the updated knowledge that simply having cc uploaded there does not contribute to their donation efforts in any way. I do not paywall my cc and never will and I do not ask for donations myself, so my options are somewhat limited. although I do not make cc with the aim of getting paid, I ultimately wouldn't be able to justify the sheer amount of time I spend on it if it wasn't helping me with my medical bills currently, as I am already caregiving with the majority of my time. I'm not reliant on cc making or cf to live, and I never want that to be the case god forbid, but in full transparency it is helping me with my healthcare expenses atm and I cannot afford to neglect my health anymore than I have. especially since, as established earlier, using cf does not contribute to the IDF in the first place. so I personally do not judge anyone that continues to use cf for this reason.

also, for the record so there is no confusion on my personal views, I fully support the freedom of Palestine and condemn genocide first and foremost, as well as terrorism and antisemitism. The current situation in Gaza is abhorrent and I encourage all my followers to not only reblog posts, but educate yourselves on the situation and bring it irl as you are able. Speak with the people you love as well as those you are acquainted with and bring this to this to their attention (if you feel safe to). Attend protests if you can. If you cannot, make the calls and emails to your representatives, sign petitions, and donate as you are able. I have been seeing that even spreading Palestinian culture among your loved ones and peers is helpful. So even if you are in a bad place mentally, that may be an option to spread the positive message of the Palestinian people in your everyday life. I'll be reblogging the posts I already did earlier and some new ones too so you can find those updated links. I will be tagging it with palestine so that it can be found easily on my page.

In addition, be kind. To others and yourself. Try to see the full damn picture instead of a snapshot. What someone posts on tumblr of all places does not reflect an entire person's being, or their efforts, or their heart. Yelling your head off on this dying website does not equal activism, and running your mental health into the ground taking on the weight of the world doesn't give you any more control over the issues we face- I learned that the hard fucking way, believe me. By all means share as much as you like, every bit helps (especially if you have a lot of followers), but keep in mind that it certainly doesn't make you better than anyone else. I know it's extremely difficult to feel helpless and you want to feel like you're doing something, but just make sure you're doing the right things for the right reasons. Please do not fucking attack random people for not responding within one business day of the latest info coming out. And take time away from all this shit to breathe. You can't help anyone if you're fucked up yourself. especially for those of us that already face discrimination and bigotry every day irl, I know it is exhausting. Remember to also care for yourselves through all this.

[oatmealdaydreams]

So About the New Asides... (Christmas)

Here's just a random list of my thoughts. Just finished the video (What Makes the Perfect Gift?). And oh boy, do I have some THOUGHTS to share.

[I was gonna finish a Intruloceit Crime Boss AU fic thingie as a surprise for a mutual bc why not, but this has me in its grip]

[beware Drunk Character, btw]

Longest post ever, jfc.

Also, I know exactly which people to ask which pairings about. I know who to ask to talk about Dukexiety (@where-are-the-spooky-gays-2), about Intruality (@rataticaisdreaming), about analogince (@disneybrandautism), about Roman in general (@prodigal-explorer and @disneybrandautism), about Prinxiety (@logan-the-artist), etc. etc. etc.

I know people and what they love and their favoured characters. I encourage everyone to infodump and geek out in the comments bc this episode fed us all.

Spoilers below

the lil present animation for the title thingie? cute

Logan waking everyone up and hosting the Secret Santa this time, yusss

Logan is responsible and it shows

"11th hour of beauty rest" -> I love Roman, he's one of my favs

^not this specific line, but can I just say with all of the angst and insecurity and such Roman has, I think I have to add him to my Kin List of Sides that I relate to at some ungodly level (which also includes Remus, Virgil, and Logan. and maybe also Janus)

the pipline to being a Roman kinnie/stan has been WILD okay idk what to tell ya lmao

"master of all kinds of rhythm, except circadian-" yep relating to Roman yet again

Logan's lil pacing in his spot, I call that him stimming and no I don't take criticism on that

^new headcanon unlocked: Logan (like Roman) cannot keep still to a certain degree

Logan and Roman aren't as different as you'd think btw

Virgil being woken up/summoned only by the sudden burst of adrenaline is so canon that I cannot. I CANNOT.

Patton's and Roman's excitement for Secret Santa is everything to me <3

autistic Roman autistic Roman autistic Roman-

"things are a little different this year" -> yeah about that

Serious Grinch Moment(tm)

Logan knowing a lot of medical knowledge makes me think he could have a special interest about it, but that may just be my "autistic Logan go brrr" headcanon nonsense

^...did Patton just indirectly call Logan the Grinch?

^^heart grow in size, he says to Logan... hhhh, I feel the slightest bit of angst vibes from that

"I just stress" -> me core

Roman checking on Thomas, awwww <3

The way Logan sounded when he said Remus' and Janus' names + Virgil's and Roman's reactions to them coming LMAO

"You may all have your feelings about them" -> the way Logan said 'feelings' like it's a plague, mm yeah heheh

Logan is such a f*cking mom, never stop pls

Janus pops like already drunk and Remus pops up all excited, dear frickin god do I love these two specifically

Drunk Janus is my fav thing ever btw

"what's up bro" // "hey..." -> siblings siblings this is my sibling (/ref)

omg Remus just being excited to be there and be included and to hang with his bro, he is so happy to see Roman cause BROTHERS, oh lord creativitwins slfjalkfskafaalkf

"they were right where I left them... in a vat of human excrement" -> I stan him for a reason, don't judge me

^he speaks and I either laugh or relate to it. usually both (no I will not elaborate on what this implies about me lmao)

"courteous laughter" mm yeah

Logan stops Virgil's escape HA

"That everyone will be secretly trying to win at" -> Roman is right and he should say it

"I'm not sharing it with anyone, I'm just showing it off" -> Janus says about his largest wine bottle that he definitely already started drinking from

Patton gets so excited he gets lightheaded

Janus got Patton? heheh moceit nation RISE

^you'll see what I mean when ya watch the episode

^^not just because he got Pat but because of the actual thought and effort he put into the gift

"I thought it was the corpse of a sea lion, but Janus wouldn't let me shake it." // "No, I don't think so. It's too light."

^...h- how does Patton know how much a dead sea lion weighs??

also Roman's reaction is basically "wut the f-"

"I might be mistaken, but I'm not." -> reason 39539 why I love Logan

"A BOX :D" -> Pat. Pat that's not everything.

^Janus being like "keeping opening the boxes" while pretending not to care, hehehe

^^"...you want me to destroy my new box?" -> all I can do is sigh, suddenly understanding why I may relate to Janus

REMUS CANONICALLY CALLED PATTON "DADDY", I-

^Roman's and Virgil's reactions, lmao

can I just say how much Ro and Vi are being the best of buds? like mm, platonic prinxiety is off the charts this episode

Remus' f*cking "whaaaaaaaa-" kills me

Janus just pouring wine into what's supposed to be a tea mug is funny to me

"but for Remus?" -> hey at least Roman knows his brother well enough to know an air fryer isn't exactly a Remus-typical gift idea

"someone they don't really know" but then Patton admitting he should get to know Remus better? hhhhhhh-

^intruality nation, we got fed, god damn

tbh a lot of pairings/ships were shown in some way or another, so I guess we ALL got fed today huh

"chicken fingers?" // "yeah!" // "human fingers" // "yea- hh, wha- wait-"

so many intruality interaction omg (my intruality moot is gonna be so excited, I can't wait to talk about this episode with him)

Remus is gonna experiment with the air fryer, ayyy

"I had Virgil" // "Ah f*ck-"

"with me own hands" -> I will never stop loving Remus

also Remus making Virgil a handmade gift? relatable and also aww, I imagine them as besties but in the dynamic where Virgil is kinda reluctant and Remus will never stop teasing whenever he can

^new headcanon: one of Remus' main love languages is 'i made this weird creative thing for you' and I only relate to him even more (essentially gift-giving but make it BETTER)

Mr. Fuzzy <3

Virgil knowing the inside joke between dork Sides- I mean dark Sides

^okay but just all the dukexiety and creativitwins and anxceitmus moments within seconds of each other in that scene is just aww

Virgil knowing what Remus calls his shower drain alfkjafksk

"I hate that I know that" -> reluctant bestie vibes

all of the analogical moments SENDS me because of how it plays out and how Logan felt hurt before realizing what his gift actually was, mm yeah aksfklsdfskfd

Virgil trying to hint subtly that maybe Logan should read it to see something, but Logan not picking up on the hints

^ngl took me the second watch-through to realize "oh he was trying to hint at him but he didn't pick up on it, like me haha"

^^do I kin Logan, you ask as if there isn't an obvious answer of YES

no wait bc the LOOK Remus gives Logan as he becomes more upset and literally encourages him to get angry and let his feelings out

^okay but why did Remus have to say it like that

Pat this whole episode says someone's name as if he's about to intervene/try to help the situation but then IMMEDIATELY says something about his box(es)

Virgil's sigh, lmao

Logan's passive aggressive sass sends me omg

Logan feeling like he needs to 'reevaluate' himself... hhhhh, the angst fics I could write from this moment alone dear lord

"I had Roman" // "Oh- oh, no-"

^idk why but Roman's reaction hurt me

^^like he doesn't have faith in Logan's gift-giving abilities? and how it seems most of everyone specifically has little-to-no faith in Logan's capacity for compassion/general emotions (except for maybe Janus and Remus, and Thomas bc he's been praising Logan for doing well during it all)

Okay but Thomas praising Logan? oh gawd, my heart-

^working on his relationship with the logical part of him, sfksalfkhskadf

LOGAN'S SIDE EYE TO VIRGIL-

^(he's so petty lmao)

Roman liking his present from him <3

^this reminds of the last Secret Santa they had when Ro made Lo a full-on fanfic of him replacing Watson and working with Sherlock and etc (headcanon: both the twins have their love languages involving their creative merits/talents because they're Creativity)

just generally speaking, gift-giving seems to be pretty high up there on everyone's love language list (in their own ways)

why is Patton not the greatest at gifts

^I take that back because he is putting thought into his gift-giving (though not a lot when it comes to Remus cause he doesn't know him well), though he tends to misread/misunderstand what they'd really like? ...is that a neurodivergent thing? cause like that's a little relatable actually

^^also lmao, I just realized the only people Pat's got as far as the series goes is literally the twins (so maybe he's just not sure how to go about the twins? cause like, he seems to know Logan and Janus and kinda Virgil pretty well, but he seems to struggle with the twins? or is that just me)

"because f*ck that asshole" -> love it when Logan cusses <3

then Remus' reaction, omggg (his lil "for christmas")

The genuine joy on Roman's face when sees Logan put Roman on the dollar bill is EVERYTHING, do ya know how much he gets to be happy? (not a lot, if we backtrack to the last canon episode in which Roman's entire worldview broke, but some of ya aren't ready for that convo yet)

sorry but seeing the now-rare joy on Roman's face, awwww

JANUS SHUT. S H U T.

as soon as Janus speaks, Roman's smile drops and is replaced by upset, hhhhhh

^so the amount of angst fics I can make on that scene alone is very much a high number

Janus is so drunk, jfc (he keeps laughing and the filter is basically gone at this point)

"massive ego" -> see Jannie Boi, I think ya missing the part of him being The Ego and how f*cked up he already is but you keep making it worse & a part of me thinks you know you're making it worse because one of your Big Jobs is to actually protect and nuture the Ego but ya ain't doing ya f*ckin job and Roman's self-esteem and self-confidence seem to be dwindling every time you speak bc he knows ya gonna hurt him again for the millionth f*cking time

^I have a lot of Feels, okay?

"quite the unhinged jaw" -> I see what ya did there (literal snake man)

Jan pours more wine, oh lord here we go

this episode has both made very happy but also hurt me deeply all in one go

Why does Patton sound like he was about to actually defend Roman only to yet again comment on his boxes?

^why do I get the feeling this has something to do with the finale coming soon and also the angst arc that royality is currently going through?

I just realized the twins' spots are next to each other <3

^loving all the twins content this episode, exploring their brother relationship yusss

"yessss, full circle at last" -> He's so f*ckin drunk, oh my god

^he's literally holding onto the wall

also ayy, canonical that Janus hisses in his speech cause ya know. snake.

^the snake traits coming alive this episode

"such a sweetie going through all that effort" -> wait for it

AY HE GOT B*TCHSLAPPED, THAT'S RIGHT MF

he deserved it

Remus' amused "oh" as he enjoys the drama and Roman's passionate "YA GET A B*TCHSLAP, JANUS" is so f*cking delcious

Thomas being like 'what just happened-' as Jan gets slapped is funny to me

"it really is Christmas" -> H A

"won't even share the wine" -> Logan sounds so sad tho

I love how Janus was so impressed with the b*tchslap and how it was executed that he can't even be that upset about it

JANUS GOT PAT A GAG GIFT -> moceit moceit moceit-

^see told ya; Jan was thoughtful with it

"I was getting a bit too catty" -> being self-aware

Pat making a cat pun because of Virgil's hissing <3

Remus being like "nooo, the drama!" lmao

omg omg omg THE ANALOGICAL ENDING skfksfksjdfs

^I make it sound like it's one of many endings to a video game lmao

but srsly, Logan finally ready the newspaper to realize it's actual a puzzle for more puzzles and him being very happy <3

Virgil's evil laughter is legit just him being him, I love this character

okay but Vi knows Lo so well?? they're besties.

"Mr. Detective" from Virgil + Roman's lil smile as he watches Logan be happy with his puzzle(s) cause he knows how much Lo likes mystery (see when he made Lo that Sherlock fanfic) = prinxiety knows Logan very well and now I imagine analogince being a bestie trio of comfort and caring for their nerd

^Analogince has become something I didn't know I wanted until now lmao

"Oh Virgil" -> gay

"and you thought I'd just get you a newspaper" -> alfkjslafskfdslkfs I will never recover

aww Logan's happy smile! he's getting to be happy!!

"Mr. Fuzzy doesn't like being dropped" -> Remus, never stop being you

all the dukexiety content this episode feels my heart with joy because they're Brainrot to me

"how did you know-" // "we're you and also you're kinda easy to read"

^Janus taking offense to Thomas being easy to read bc he's Deceit and Self-Preservation, aka: the combo for Masking

"that's rude" -> idk why but the way Jan said that, it made me go aww

^he's so f*cking drunk at this point (props to Thomas (irl) for all the acting as a drunk character cause it was amazing and realistic as hell)

aww logince moment when Lo asks Ro to help him cause Creativity and Ro's smile

^(to be fair, there's a considerable amount of logince moments but this is the only one I pointed out as specifically logince)

can we talk about Nico's gift to Thomas? a necklace with a Ying-Yang charm and what looks like a rainbow charm?? symbolism heheheh

^many thoughts about the Ying-Yang cause balance and black-and-white mindset changing and etc.; but also the rainbow(?) charm cause GAY

Also, Nico Flores content!!

wait, is the endcard the moment when Nico and Thomas become serious? OMG GUYS Y'ALL, WAIT A SEC-

Janus End Card -> I laughed so hard

This episode was basically Growth, Angst, and Tumblr's Headcanons Get Confirmed.

[misc-obeyme]

If the bros worked in a nightclub, what roles would they have, along with their stage names? Oh, and today is my birthday! I just wanted to share it with you🥳💕

Happy birthday, anon!!

Um, so I might not be the best person to ask about nightclub related things... I haven't been to many of them. I am an introverted homebody lol.

I'm not sure what you mean by roles? Like what kinda jobs they'd have if they worked at a nightclub?

Because if that's what you mean, then I can tell you what I think they'd all do! And I'm gonna say that Asmo just came up with stage names for all of them because he felt like it, no matter what they end up doing.

Asmo is absolutely on stage. No question about it. Whether he's singing or pole dancing or doing drag or whatever, that guy's the center of attention! Stage name: I kinda think he'd go for the single name. It's just straight up ASMODEUS. Probably stylized all in caps like that, too.

Beel is the bouncer. Not working the door, but watching things on the inside. Big and quiet and can easily pick up rowdy demons and toss them outside without a second look. Stage name: I kinda think Asmo could talk him into doing pole dancing. Because you know, it's super athletic and requires a lot of strength. I kinda feel like it'd end up being something about his muscles. Mr. Buffington perhaps. LOL. I dunno how serious these stage names are. Beel would probably be like uhhhh I'm just Beel.

Mammon is the finance guy. Most of the time, he's just crunching numbers, but when the club is in action, he's out on the dance floor, just kinda bringing some ambiance with his enthusiastic personality. Yeah, he might be trying to get people to buy the most expensive drinks, but he's also having the time of his life so nobody minds. Stage name: I like the idea that Mammon regularly gets into his dame outfit. Either straight up calls himself Goldie or something like... Lady Grimm. LOL!

Satan is bar tending. I don't know why, but I just think he'd be good at it. And he's probably the most competent one to be handling all that booze anyway. Lucifer would probably do a good job, but he can't be trusted around the Demonus. Stage name: because Asmo makes him wear cat ears all the time, he's obviously going to be something like Kitty Meow Meow. Anyone who actually calls him this gets decked.

Levi is handling all the tech. Stage lights? Fog machine? Audio equipment? This guy is on it! Hides most of the time and plays video games when he's not needed. Hates being out in the main area so hides in vip lounges all the time. Stage name: Lord of Shadows! Asmo can come up with whatever cutesy thing he wants, but Levi won't go by anything else. It doesn't matter because he would never actually be on stage so Asmo lets it be.

Belphie helps out with bar tending. He's too sleepy to partake of too much alcohol, it'd just make him sleepier. But he's smart and he's good at keeping an eye out for creepers trying to roofie drinks. He looks like he's not paying attention, but he notices everything. Subtly lets Beel know when there's a creeper that needs to be escorted out. Stage name: because I like the idea that Belphie will also sometimes do the dame thing and then he just goes by Belle - simple, elegant, and Asmo approved.

Lucifer oversees everything. He's the manager, of course. Makes sure everybody else is doing what they're supposed to. Hires extra muscles for Beel when needed. Only has the best demons working the door. Books musical gigs when Asmo's not performing. Keeps himself away from the alcohol and the Anti Lucifer League lol. Stage name: only on rare occasions does Lucifer do anything that would require a stage name and then he goes by Morningstar. Asmo's so awestruck he wouldn't even dream of protesting.

OKAY well I did my best lol. I'm sorry if this isn't really what you were looking for! You can always send me another ask with more detail on what exactly you're thinking of. But yeah, my knowledge of this stuff is lacking in general.

Either way, I hope you had a fabulous birthday, anon!

[godly-rambles]

I AM A MINOR.

sorry this post is kind of an eyesore (i like pretty colors)

Hello, my name is Ohesis. The purpose of this blog will be to share my experiences as one who identifies physically as a lesser god and as a divine being.

THIS IS NOT DELUSION. FAKECLAIMERS WILL BE BLOCKED.

bodily a teenager (13-17), but my divine form is thousands of years old.

pronouns: he/him/it/it's/void/void's/star/starself's/ae/aer/holy/holyself/ halo/halos

DNI - therian/otherkin antis, fakeclaimers, people who call others like me "fakers", hardcore christians (hardcore religious people in general idc who you are), k!nk and nsfw blogs, proshippers (this isnt a fandom blog, but I would still like to keep unsavory types away). endogenic/mixed origin "systems" and anybody who supports them gguuuuhh ill update this more later

PLEEASE block me if this offends you

DESPITE THE DNI, I BLOCK FREELY!!! Directed towards anyone who doesnt fw this blog, or at least tolerate it.

Submissions and asks - submissions from anyone else who identifies as divine, nonhuman, winged, etc will go up- as long as they relate to this blog and would make sense for me to display.

I DO NOT POST GOFUNDMES scams are far too common on tumblr. because of this i wont be posting any fundraisers on this blog.

I also don't do tag games. this isnt my main, its purpose is to be a place where i post about my identity. do not tag me in tag games. this doesn't mean that i'm gonna be serious all the time, it just means that the intent of the blog is to home my godly-related thoughts.

Asks will be answered from those curious about my identity as a minor god (and otherheartedness in general, I've been in the community for 4-5 years and consider myself knowledgable enough to answer.)

Excited to get to know others in the otherhearted and divine community, thank you for reading this <3

Now Playing: Youth - Glass Animals

[epickiya722]

Sorry, but I need to say something I've been thinking about for a while. I found geto's death forcing. 1.he loses to a boy with no experience and the power of ''love''. 2.he was stronger and had more knowledge and experience than the boy yuta. 3. It seems that the author just wanted to get rid of geto so that this annoying villain Kenjaku could come. 4. In my opinion, Geto is the best villain. I don't understand why the author didn't want to continue with him. 5. His death was forced because Saturo already had a change in character and personality. What I'm trying to say is that in the film, Satura is already different, he's no longer that immature young man. 6. the serious work was much more dramatic if geto had survived saturo blow he would have become stronger and returned as a villain again with sukuna. Sorry if it's big, but I have these doubts that such a good and well-constructed character had a horrible ending and very little.

I get you, Anon. You have every right to feel that way.

Honestly, as someone who does enjoy Geto, I'll tell you right now that your first point reminded me why I have came to hate the word "fraud".

I really hate what fandoms have done now to that word because it's like that word is thrown at every single character.

Lately, I keep seeing people call Geto a "fraud" because he lost to Yuta, but I'm sitting here like "what the hell is he faking though"?

They really associate losing to being a fraud and it's ridiculous.

Look, I adore Yuta, I do. But let's not sit here and act like Yuta wasn't having a difficult time against Geto because he was.

"Why is Geto considered a Special Grade"?

I don't know, maybe because his technique literally can bring about chaos all over Japan as how Kenjaku used it after the Shibuya Incident? Maybe because he did in fact trained as the same as Gojo did during their school years?

"He doesn't even have a domain"!

Domains are literal trump cards in JJK. It's actually impressive Geto hasn't relied on one. And how do we know he doesn't have one? Just because he didn't use one doesn't mean he doesn't have one. It's like saying a person doesn't have a purple shirt just because you didn't see them wear one that day.

I just can't with people!

The thing that gets me about the whole Yuta vs. Geto fight is that is it expected that Geto would have lost, even more so when the story made it clear that Yuta was going to be a strong individual, but it's how people are reacting to it that annoys me.

Oh my gosh, yes, he lost to a 16-year-old. A 16-year-old who happens to have an insane amount of cursed energy and a bond with the "Queen of Curses", and ooh! He's related to Gojo!

People saying this like it's a brand new concept and just to rag on Geto fans. Why though? You... you cannot be that bored! Yuta is written to be an overpowered character, while Geto was not.

Now, I could be wrong about this. But I feel like Geto was written to be a character that "haunts the narrative" much now just Toji does.

Geto, to me, is an interesting villain and I actually would have loved to see the years of from how he started his cult at 17 to an adult.

In relation to Kenjaku, that just reminded me of a post I saw that pretty much bashed Geto and praised Kenjaku. Now, the JJK villains, I enjoy them all to an extent, I do. And as such, it gets me sometimes how some Kenjaku fans (not all, folks, chill) will bash Geto like he's the worst and even as far as calling him ugly when... Kenjaku literally wanted to merge humanity with Tengen... for a laugh. Kenjaku has done some heinous things, too, come on. And going as far as to calling Geto ugly is funny when Kenjaku is walking around with his face.

Like, Kenjaku actually seeked out to use Geto's body. Not any of the other Special Grade sorcerers or anyone else. His technique was useful for Kenjaku and let's not forget that because of that face and that voice, Kenjaku put the Strongest Sorcerer in a box.

I won't lie, I'm actually intrigued how the plot would have been like if Geto survived and came back later for some more villainy. Him in Kenjaku's spot would be different... but that's a different I gotta see!!

[sysmedsaresexist]

Would you explain the driving/DID thing more? I thought that supposed law as A. In the UK and B. Not even in law.

It's an exceptionally dumb thing to try and legislate anyway. Dissociation can happen to anyone, and accidents from people zoning out and not paying attention happen literally all the time. Texting and driving has killed infinitely more people than a dissociated system ever has, and yet that law does nothing to actually curb that.

Your comments sound like you support that kind of thing and I sure hope I'm just misreading that.

Hi! I'm not 100% sure I understand-- I think I do, but if I misinterpreted, let me know!

Please note that this doesn't even scratch the surface of these topics. This entire thing needs a BOOK to go over every little aspect. That said, my response is going to very topical, but I hope it still answers the question. I also get rambly, but when don't I?

To my knowledge, the original driving ban was actually in relation to autism, not CDDs, and nothing has ever come into place from a legal standpoint-- this includes my knowledge of the UK, US, and CDN laws. The same is also true of gender affirming care-- it was a discussion about autism several years ago. I actually made a post where I even found the person who started the CDD rumor, I'll see if I can find that post.

Now, this doesn't touch on the current climate around trans rights (especially minors' rights), because the states are having a fucking... moment, over there that sort of overlaps with this conversation but not specifically enough to get into, just pointing out that I understand things aren't exactly peachy across the world.

And that's important.

Things aren't perfect.

I admit that a lot of sectors need some serious reform and work, but we need to talk about real issues, not exaggerated ones. We can make things better for people with physical and mental health issues, but there's zero point in arguing about things that aren't actually real or happening.

I support the current safeguards in place-- doctors treating each person for their unique issues and symptoms. Personalized approaches.

I'm going to assume you're either UK or US, so for example...

Here's info on UK guidelines. You can see that, as I stated, it's about symptoms, not specific diagnoses. It also lists what's required for someone to be able to drive, and it's... really not that bad? 3 months symptom free? I see no issues with the way it's laid out. You've probably already passed the 3 month mark before this ever matters.

Canada works like the UK. The US has very similar stipulations, but doesn't list it as nicely. The general rule is that if you're at risk of ever not driving safely, check yes. "Not driving safely," is defined very similarly to the screenshots-- recent flareups or episodes, risk of falling asleep, seizures, loss of awareness or conscious control, same kind of things.

I support this. If someone is experiencing symptoms that would make driving dangerous, why would I not? I've been in too many accidents and like I said, I already lost my father.

The idea that you'll automatically lose your license, or not be able to get your license, is just wrong, and it's always anti psych people who say it. And like, pwCDDs can't get a job? Better tell that to all the VERY real doctors diagnosed with DID and actively working as clinical therapists. Guess they didn't get the memo.

A diagnosis will not stop you from doing ANYTHING. A lack of knowledge about your rights will.

No one should ever be afraid of being diagnosed or getting help. I am so angry at people that present a false idea of what happens. Like instead of lying and saying we're all going to lose our licenses, just teach people what they need to do and who to contact to sort licensing issues out. Let's focus on holding doctors accountable and ensuring they're making fair decisions on these things.

We all know that doctors aren't always fair, and it's not necessarily the system's fault. As patients and clients, it's our job to understand our own rights (yes, it is our job, unfair as it may be and as much hand holding as you might expect). No one is saying that there aren't shit doctors that will abuse their power. Unless we, as patients, understand our rights, no one else will stop that doctor from doing it to someone else. The law already backs us, it's holding them accountable and pointing out when the laws aren't clear enough. We can have our licenses, we should be promoting awareness of rights and responsibilities of the government, doctors, and patients.

And guys, I know it can be inconvenient, but... if you're not supposed to be driving, just don't.

My dad was not supposed to be driving. In fact, he was in a treatment center ACTIVELY RECEIVING TREATMENT, and was allowed to check himself out. That same night, he got behind the wheel, and he wasn't the only one who died.

In this way, I agree with you. Laws don't make a difference. Literally none. He would have driven that night with or without a license. It's up to us, as people, patients, and family members, to be honest about our symptoms and abilities, inconvenient or not, and we pray to God that someone gets pulled over with a revocation flag on file, rather than cops showing up to an accident that's already happened.

But no one will be fucking honest if people keep lying about how "dangerous" being diagnosed with something is.

Losing your license is a very small risk compared to the benefits (and no, it's not gone forever), and knowing your rights is the best thing you can do for everyone, yourself included.

Know your rights, know how to exercise them.

[askyourwritergrandma]

Hello there. I have a bit of a difficult question in the sense that I don't know who to ask about it. You seemed to be arguably the wisest source to consult on the matter, so I'm taking a chance.

I had an idea for a fic that I wanted to write and I was actually in the process of writing it for a bit. It was for a small fandom event in which I signed up for. I was almost done with it and was in the finishing stages of them when I was obstructed by people and circumstances that really ought not to have ever been and as such, I was never able to fully publish it. Ever since then, I have resented the people who did this as I not only failed to deliver the final product I was supposed to, but I also looked like a fool. I hated everyone and myself for this entire thing as this is not the first time I had been stopped from doing something that I chose outside of everyone else's jurisdiction. To an effect, I still do.

As a more notable effect, looking at the document in which all of my hard work sat made me physically ill and enraged. I had also stopped writing completely because of how strongly I felt (and still feel) about this entire situation. Soon after the fact, I also essentially erased myself from the online space for a month because I didn't want anyone to question nor point out that I hadn't done it as I did not want to explain why and doing so would have me spiral out of control and simply delete my social media as I would not be able to live with it. I have only come back recently because I was sick of being socially isolated and alone. You would think that this would be the end of it, but there's one thing that for some reason sticks around.

I still want to write this story.

Yes, I know I essentially left them high and dry but this premise and what I had been working on captivated me to such a degree that I'm still thinking about it when my mind wanders on its own. But I still get sick thinking about my circumstances that I can't change nor budge and as such, I still can't stand looking at the document nor the outline. I desperately want to get to work on it again, but there's so much negative emotional attachment to it that I can't bring myself to do it because I wonder why I ever bothered with it in the first place if everyone and everything in my life keeps stopping me from doing it.

I've tried to write other things in the meantime, but they too are suppressed as I am constantly reminded of my failure and my circumstances that are not only unfair but ridiculous as this is the only outlet I really have and to see it limited to such a degree is sickening and still makes my blood boil.

I love writing things and I love exploring these things, but I don't even know how to do it when all of it is accompanied by rage, despair, inferiority, and pure unadulterated hatred directed at myself as well as others.

So I suppose that my question really is this:

How do I bring myself to write when my entire being hates me for even trying, knowing that I'll never finish what I start because something will stop me?

Oh friend, this is just some shit right here.

Ok so important disclaimer is that I am not a mental health professional. Anything I say is based on personal experience or accumulated knowledge from the internet.

Its important that you know, and really properly internalize, that you did not fail. In fact my first thing directly related to writing that I would advise you to do, when you start to feel this way, is to say 'I did not fail' to yourself. Sometimes things happen that can't control and they affect us in very serious ways that takes time to get over.

Certainly it sounds like what you were working on was important to you and the circumstances that interrupted it were very upsetting. There's no surprise that your story has becoming a focal point for those feelings. Untangling how they are connected is something that you can only do with time and trying.

If you have a safe place where you can externalize those feelings, either through talking to someone, keeping a journal or writing the events but fictionalized I would suggest those things. Sometimes just being able to put it all out there and know that its safe helps you move on from it.

As far as people on the internet questioning you about where you've been, I can't say that wouldn't have happened or that it won't happen in the future, but as a general rule good, decent people extend you grace. Everyone has a life outside of this anonymous mosh pit we call the internet and most people are capable of understanding that. You don't need to compound these feelings of failure with any additional shame from anonymous strangers. Would they have loved to read your story? Yes of course they would have. If you were to finish it they would still want to read it. But they aren't angry or upset with you.

As you try to write, remind yourself that you have not failed. Imagine yourself as a professional athlete who has suffered a serious knee injury. You had to take time away but you're back on your feet now and you're working towards getting back on the field. Every time you sit and try to write, remind yourself that you have no failed, that you are recovering and that you will get better. Writing will get easier.

Send me as many asks as you want, if they help, I'll do my best to answer them promptly.

Good luck anon and take care of yourself.

[kiefbowl]

I live in Seattle and wanna move back to Chicago one day. Your blog is cool, mine ain't and that's why I'm anon. Serious question here: my family is pressuring me to have kids (I'm a lady) and I don't want to do that. I'm 31 and hetero-married. I wonder about if it'd even matter if I regretted my decision to not have kids. Is this potential regret going to shatter me emotionally? I don't think so. Has anyone ever pressured you to have children? I wonder if I'd be ready to have kids if I was not expected to. Does that make sense? Anyway love your blog because you're real and super relatable.

Yeah, I feel a little pressure. I think when compared to other women, it's really not so bad. I think my mom feels like she can't talk to me at all about children (which isn't true...she's just unwilling to have the conversation on my terms), so she has made some off handed comments to people who aren't me within my earshot, things like "well I'll never have a grandchild at this rate" and other nonsense. The thing is I actually haven't decided yet, and I am leaning towards yes as long as certain things happen in the next couple years financially. I also feel the "biological clock" as it where in the fact that it would be nice to have a baby by a certain age if I'm going to have any, and that age gets closer. However, I'm not overly concerned about that either. It weighs on me but ultimately I want to make this choice intelligently, because I'm not interested in bringing a child into the world without it being the best situation possible for that child, so if I haven't reach certain goals by 35, I'm not going to say fuck it let's get pregnant just so I'm having a baby by 35.

I'm quite satisfied with what my life is and could become without kids, so I don't think I'll regret it if it never happens. I think I could feel sad though, only because if it doesn't happen, it feels like a choice I didn't get to make freely, and I can see myself lamenting never meeting the child I could have love. That being said, my life won't be over! I'll have freedom, youth, money. I'll lament it in the same way I didn't try to become a paleontologist or travel vlogger now knowing with hindsight I could have with the right guidance and knowledge. You can't be everything, and if I don't become a mom, I'll be the other things I'll be.

All that's to say, if you don't feel like me right now, you're probably right that you won't regret it. And if you start feeling like me in a couple years, that's fine because you still have time. And if you do end up feeling shattered with regret...you know, you just can't avoid grief and pain, so why try to hedge your bets on this one when it involves brining another person in the world? Maybe you will feel sad later, but I think you'll have the wherewithal to shoulder it, because you've probably already lived through many sad things and disappointments and jealousy and anger, why would this be something so uniquely different?

In the end, you can't live your life for others. You have to make your life your own, and every choice you make will have detractors. Ultimately, you have to say "well fuck off lol" even if it's your own family.

Good luck sis!

[aerodumb]

Wade/Nancy is an artist who's been surrounded by negative opinions. She currently works under the username Grisgrisdoll, but she's widely known as the name that haunts her past, Kastoway.

I've seen many, many accusations being thrown online against this artist, but I noticed that for many people spreading them this knowledge is secondhand. I found her Deviantart account some time after she changed her username to Kastoway in the beginning of 2014 due to my hyperfixation on creepypastas at the time. I never actually followed her, but I visited her account every now and then, so if I missed something important, it was because of that and I will be glad if you tell me. In this post, I'll list the incidents in chronological order *with evidence* and then give my own opinion at the end.

One thing to know about Wade is that she has had many different names and usernames throughout her life. In addition, she is comfortable with people using either "she", "he" or "they" to refer to her. I'll be alternating the pronouns and using both her names.

He was 13 when she created Ticci Toby [1]. He posted her first drawing of him on the 19th of November 2012 on DeviantArt [2] and Toby's origin story one year later on the 23rd of May 2013 [3]. Wade changed the personality of Toby to make him less upbeat, more tragic and more scary. One of the first instances where he showed discomfort with how people portrayed Toby that I remember was in a publication she posted on the last day of 2013 [4]. This situation ended up with a small redesign of Toby on 5th of February 2014 [5].

She took a short break from DeviantArt around July [6]. It was this year when her creepypasta blew up out of proportion. Previously, she had expressed her desire for Toby to only be shipped with another creepypasta character called Clockwork. However, many people didn't like Clockwork and didn't respect this wish, leading her to further getting tired of the creepypasta community. By october of the same year, her Deviantart bio said: "Most people know me as the creator of the creepypasta story "Ticci-Toby"-- which yes I am, but I prefer not to be constantly called out for it nor only recognized or appreciated for it. I do not contribute to the creepypasta fandom anymore so please don't ask me about it. Thank you" [7].

One issue that is frequently overlooked when discussing Wade's actions is her problem with impersonators, as she stated on a status in November [8].

On 14th of December 2014 he made a post trying to solve all the turmoil that had formed because of shipping [9]. He stated that he had asked people not to ship Toby with anyone but Clockwork because that was what he was comfortable with, but he realized that decision was pointless and didn't care at this point. The situation had gone out of control and there were people bashing creators who shipped Toby with others or with their own characters. He apologized to the hurt and asked people to stop the white knighting. In addition, he recognized "I wasn't prepared for my character to become popular on the internet. I really wasn't. I never thought it would happen and I'm still not good at dealing with it. In fact I suck at it, it's true". He was 15 at the moment.

In 2015, they got into Marvel, even having a tumblr blog where she drew Deadpool replying the asks of her followers. At the end of their bio, it could be read: "I will not reply to notes or comments regarding Ticci-Toby or anything Creepypasta related, sorry." [10]. This message was deleted months later, so their profile didn't mention Toby or creepypasta anymore. They kept the folder for her creepypasta drawings in their gallery tagged as "old".

In April 2016, he had to warn the general public that Toby wasn't real and that he was his creator [11]. People had been spreading misinformation, saying that Toby was real or was based on a real person. Wade feared that something like the tragedy of Wisconsin could happen again, it was a serious concern.

In May, Nancy made a post saying that people could still ask her about Toby [12], but later in June that year, she decided to step off the internet with the purpose of trying to improve her life, archiving the majority of her work [13]. Later in 2017, she updated her bio to let people know about her new instagram account where she mostly posts original art. It was at this point when I stopped checking her content completely, as this account, called bonejars at the beginning, was private for a while. She hasn't been very active on DeviantArt apart from the times she announced her podcast.

On the porch: Episode 2, 16 April 2020, started a wave of negativity against them. I didn't watch it at the time and it is now private so I can't say much about it, but they did some clarifications on her instagram stories later. Many users took screenshots of them and they can still be read [14]. In them, Nancy says that they came to terms many years ago with the ships, that they left the fandom because all of the drama made them miserable and that they'd wish Toby to no longer be associated with the creepypasta fandom. Despite this, they don't want people to stop doing what makes them happy, they said they're ok with headcanons and people reinterpreting the character, that they like the fanart as long as people don't profit from it. They said "I know what escapism is like and using fiction to cope with life. I would never wanna take that away from anybody". Later, they had to make further clarifications because people accused them of wanting to take Toby away from the fandom.

On 25 abril 2021, Nancy posted a new redesign of Toby on his Instagram account [15]. This version of him was significantly different from the last one. The character is older, wears different clothes and looks more realistic due to Nancy's art style development. With this design, he looks like a character from a slasher.

Many people weren't pleased with the redesign due to thinking the reason for it was to invalidate the previous one. Consequently, they brought to the surface controversies from the past. Nancy was accused of having supported two controversial figures in the creepypasta community: Laughing Jack's creator Steve Aikins (Snuffbomb) and Sally Williams' creator Shilo (la_mishi_mish).

Steve presumably harassed his ex-girlfriend and talked indecently with several young girls back in 2014 [16]. I haven't found evidence of Wade supporting him and I can't remember exactly what she said. If someone has screenshots of it, I would be grateful.

Shilo used to draw NSFW art of Sally [17]. This character is canonically 8, so she usually aged her up in this kind of content. However, she posted a compilation of sketches depicting Sally and Jeff the Killer having sex in 2015, stating it was ok for them to have intercouse because they were both 13. Shilo was 22 at the time. Several sources indicate that she stopped drawing mature content due to social pressure. Nancy and Shilo follow each other on instagram to this day.

There haven't been more references to Toby on Nancy's part since then.

◇ Ok people, get the pitchforks because now I'm gonna give my opinion!

So, what can we accuse Wade of? Of being an idiot and a hypocrite when he was a teenager, of having bad companies and managing fame poorly. I don't think we can blame them for anything else and feel that a big part of the hate they receive is undeserved.

I think she was a hypocrite because she got angry with an interpretation of Toby that she had at the beginning. What's more, Toby's story uses an interpretation of Slenderman that was invented by the fandom, proxies are not canon. It's like a fanfic of a series inspired by just a couple of photos.

Still following Shilo is yikes. However, we don't really know if they're still close and I'm personally gonna give her the benefit of the doubt. Defending Steve was a bad move, but, as some people have pointed out before, he was a teen when that happened, way younger than Steve and she could have been convinced to think he was innocent. Shilo is older too.

Being that young, she wasn't prepared for facing the bad sides of fame. Ignoring stuff, going radio silent and then saying things in the heat of the moment didn't help her a bit, but it was all that occurred to her at the time. She's tried to explain things in more detail in recent years just to go back to saying as little as possible because at this point, people get angry for whatever she says.

People say they're homophobic. Their instagram account refutes it.

People say he was mean and insulted the fandom. I remember reading a couple of statuses on DA that I thought were insensitive, but that was a long time ago. People grow and he's changed his mind a lot as you can read in his instagram stories. If you say these things referring to the post where he told people Toby wasn't real, I'm sorry, but I think he had all the right to be harsh. People said Slenderman was real, it ended up in a tragedy and now the same things were being said about Toby. Can you imagine how it's to feel you're responsible for someone's death? He was trying to protect people.

People say she went after artists that portrayed Toby in a different way than hers, yet every time she's said something that ended up hurting people, she took responsibility and apologized for it. I don't believe this person could go and directly hurt someone. Remember what I said before about her issues with impersonators and people white knighting? That could be what's happening. Even now she has problems with people pretending they know her, so be careful!

People say they have abandoned the character many times. It's true they've said they didn't want to talk about Toby on four different occasions, but I don't think they did it with that intention. Why did they redesign him then? The design we all know is inevitably tied to the creepypasta community and they want to move on from it, that's why they didn't want to talk about him. Now they made a version of the character that isn't tied to that world, so we have two Tobies, one for them and one for us. I think that's cool!

Many don't like that they can't use the old version to earn money, but I want them to understand that this is a really particular situation. Usually, people making commissions of characters that aren't theirs isn't a problem when the creator is getting money on their own (unless you're Disney, Disney has no chill). This isn't Wade's case, she has never been monetary compensated for creating or drawing Toby and she has the right of choosing not to allow the commercial use of her characters. "Give for free what you were given for free" is a rule that makes sense in this case.

I don't expect anyone to stop disliking Wade, you're free to feel whatever you want, but at least I hope that this post helps people to see that all of this is more dimensional than just "kastoway is evil". At the end of the day, she's just a dude that fucked up many times and I think her experiences can help us to not commit the same errors.

◇ Here you have all the evidence

[1] Wade's age (look at the replies)

[2] First art of Toby

[3] Toby's Origin on Kastoway's DA

[4] Post where Wade complains about the difference between fanon and canon Toby

[5] Updated Toby design

[6] Wade's DA on hiatus

[7] Wade saying he doesn't want to be known just for creating Toby

[8] Wade complaining about impersonators

[9, 11] Nancy clarifying the issues with shipping and people saying Toby was real (look at section "Kastoway and his creation")

[10] Nancy saying he won't reply asks about Toby

[12] Nancy apologizing and saying ask about Toby are welcomed

[13] Nancy announcing her departure

[14] Nancy's deleted instagram stories

[15] Toby's new design

[16] About Laughing Jack's creator

[17] About Sally's Creator

[lucky-clover-gazette]

captive prince book 1 highlights & annotations

chapter 9

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

He dredged up all the knowledge he had regarding the treatment of slaves. Some of the questions he was asked he had no idea how to answer.

context: damen really doesn’t know much about slaves, except what he’s been shown. 

craft note: indicates unreliable narration of the topic

Just for a moment he remembered Torveld making love to Laurent on the balcony, but the hair was a shade too dark, and curled.

hey what the fuck? “making love,” that’s definitely a choice of words. they were just standing there. laurent pretty much outright told damen he wasn't having fun. if i didn't know any better, i'd almost say that damen is jea—

Laurent was too close to guessing the truth already.

oh baby girl you never stood a chance

‘I’m looking forward to a renewed relationship with Vere, after his ascension.’ Because he’s bewitched you, Damen thought. Because you’re moonstruck and you have no idea of his nature.

“unlike me, who knows his nature, and is still into him anyway”

Considering Nicaise’s loyalties, it was strange that Laurent had seemed drawn to him—had seemed even oddly to like him—but who knew what went on in that maze of a mind?

you’ll figure it out when you re-read, damen

Laurent’s fussy horse began acting out again, and he leaned forward in the saddle, murmuring something as he stroked her neck in an uncharacteristically gentle gesture to quiet her. 

horse girl laurent <3

It was wasteful of nature to have bestowed those looks on one whose character was so unpleasant. Laurent’s fair skin and blue eyes were a combination that was rare in Patras, rarer in Akielos, and a particular weakness of Damen’s. The golden hair made it worse.

damen likes blondes #5. very specifically about laurent, with extra appreciation for his other features!

‘He’s even nicer in person. Did you know he came and talked to me?’ said Erasmus. ‘—He did?’ said Damen. It was something he couldn’t imagine. ‘He asked about . . . what happened in the gardens. Then he warned me. About last night.’ ‘He warned you,’ said Damen. ‘He said that Nicaise would make me perform before the court and it would be awful, but that if I was brave, something good might come at the end of it.’ Erasmus looked up at Damen curiously. ‘Why do you look surprised?’ ‘I don’t know. I shouldn’t be. He likes to plan things in advance,’ said Damen.

YAY LAURENT!

‘I have a kind master,’ said Damen. He did pretty well in getting the words out, all things considered.

he soooo doesn’t want to admit that laurent did a decent thing

‘You’re—in love with him?’  ‘Not quite,’ said Damen.

not yet

‘there is no honour in obedience’

piece of an important series theme, especially related to the institution of slavery and the conflation of sex and power. follow this thread.

‘Yes. That is—I . . . I will be a little frightened, but so obedient,’ said Erasmus. And blushed again.

erasmus and torveld are an interesting foil to damen and laurent. erasmus is happily obedient to torveld, and torveld is going out of his way to be considerate and kind to a person/possession who knows nothing but obedience. damen and laurent, meanwhile, refuse to profess or accept obedience respectively, and they are neither considerate nor kind to each other. but in this most recent episode, they’ve recognized the honorable traits they share through their interactions with others, and have unintentionally laid the groundwork for mutual respect.

through getting to know laurent, damen is figuring out that niceness is not necessarily a sign of goodness. he can’t trust people just because they seem good, or because he wants to believe that they’re good (like the regent and kastor). combine this misplaced trust with laurent’s cruelty towards damen (which he believes is impersonal, even though we know it’s because damen killed laurent’s brother), and it makes sense why he can’t see what’s right in front of him: 

laurent is somehow the most morally decent person with any kind of authority in this court, and he’s a total cast-iron bitch about it.

He was the one had to stick a sword through the mare’s throat and put her down. The Prince tore strips off him for not doing it fast enough.

another little “laurent is a good person, just not in the obvious way” hint — mercy killing

‘Something to say?’ said Laurent. ‘I heard you killed your horse.’ ‘It’s just a horse,’ said Laurent. ‘I’ll have my uncle buy me a new one.’ These words seemed savagely to amuse him; there was a jagged, private edge to his voice.

sometimes life sucks so bad you just have to laugh. damen sees the comment as aloofness and cruelty, but i think laurent is just coping.

‘The Prince doesn’t want me to fuck him,’ said Damen.

it’s interesting that damen both knows and verbalizes this. he says himself that he doesn’t understand laurent, but he also is certain that laurent doesn’t want to use him as kastor intended. is it an insult or compliment to laurent? neither? both? or is it just an impulsive response, since this has been implied so many times before?