#is this normal elsewhere are you all this reckless to the point that it makes you look stupid like...

[sunflowertrick]

didn’t that guy JUST fight a giant bird lmaooo what the fuck is wrong with him

its crazy.

[akutasoda]

don't say anything else just stay

genshin ver part 2 [part 1 here]

synopsis - after a heated argument, maybe a resolve is found in a comfortable embrace

includes - diluc, xiao, kazuha, tighnari, freminet, dottore

warnings - gn!reader, angst to comfort/mild comfort, arguing, some characters are kind of scummy, maybe ooc for some, dottore, minor alcohol mention, wc - 2k

a/n: kept thinking about this and finally after ages i wrote it!

diluc ragnvindr ★↷

diluc, on the outside, was seen as the rather perfect lover. someone you could easily take home to parents and they would be so impressed, someone who is a classic romantic always aiming to sweep you off your feet.

and while he could be like that sometimes, some rare moments that only and very few knew off made you scoff at any comments about how perfect of a lover he must be. afterall, arguments always tore holes in relationships if not dealt with properly.

normally diluc was attentive and was very good with arguments. you two normally wouldn't worry about them. but sometimes his work life balanced suffered and he brought home all anger he held and unleashed it on you.

this was when problems arised as you both knew he shouldn't do that to you. so when the argument reached a rather harsh point you took the situation into your own hands and left dawn winery. you would return to your residence until diluc calmed down and would properly talk to you.

he stewed in his anger for much longer than he preferred and when he started to calm down he went looking for you. he assumed you would still be in the manor, just elsewhere. but he couldn't find you. and his heart absolutely sunk when adeline informed him you had left ages ago.

he cursed himself for being so reckless and he no longer cared about anything else and knew he had to try and sort things out - hoping you would give him such an opportunity.

when you saw diluc on your doorstep you still had half a mind to ignore him but you knew that would get you nowhere and you would be lying to yourself if you said you didn't miss him. and as soon as you opened the door you could see the noticeable lift in his eyes upon seeing you again.

the silence was quickly swamped with diluc's profuse apologies and regrets. and while he was rambling away you found yourself compelled to crawl into his arms. and so you did. and as soon as you hugged him, and he hugged back immediately shutting up. he basked in the moment as told himself he would never do something like this again as he would be dammed that he should ever lose you.

adeptus xiao ★↷

anyone that ever knew the adepti would know he never understood feelings. in fact one could take a guess from looks alone and assume that he struggles with emotional intelligence. and going into a relationship you were well aware of this and thought you would never mind.

and for the most part you didn't. because after the first major argument you two had he quickly learned that if he wanted to keep what you two had he would have to try and learn. try and learn human emotions. which he very quickly did, while he didn't express them he became surprisingly good at reading yours in particular.

but that didn't mean petty arguments still arose. petty arguments that sometimes would push you over the edge. as sometimes it felt as if you were the only one fighting for this relationship.

sometimes seeing xiao arrive home with scratches and such worried you. while you knew that it was minor and probably did nothing - it did make your mind over exaggerate other scenarios. and when you expressed your concerns, he would brush you off.

and eventually he started arguing back, saying harsh comments that he didn't mean but that didn't stop him from saying them. you were rather shocked it got to this so you left. and the minute you disappeared from his line of vision he panicked.

he realised his mistakes. and he knew he would have to own up to them. he was rarely used to people truly caring for him and when they did he lost them. and so he immediately set out to find you and when he did you were still fuming but to him, atleast you were safe.

he tried to apologize but he struggled deeply to find the right words to express how he truly felt. but seeing him try made you calm down - you knew he was trying his hardest. and you calmed down enough to head back with him and try talk it over properly again.

kaedehara kazuha ★↷

arguments were a rare occurrence with kazuha. he was very rational when it came to it but also did try and avoid getting to the point of an argument with you. but he knew some where unavoidable and that's why he would want to solve them as quick as possible.

most arguments did stem from mistakes. more commonly kazuha being swayed into drinking quite a bit with beidou. now she ment no harm by getting him to enjoy himself with the crew, but in that state he did start saying things he never meant.

so when you were trying to get him to bed as everyone else on the crux had retired for that night, he proved to be rather difficult. so much so that he started hurling insults your way. you knew he meant nothing by it but it still hurt.

and eventually you needed a minute or two to yourself. a few minutes turned into a couple of hours as you decided maybe he needed some space and eventually you drifted to sleep in the spare room on the crux that beidou originally gave you.

waking up the next morning, kazuha had a rather annoying headache but immediately noticed you weren't beside him. and then everything came flooding back to him and guilt consumed him whole. stepping out his room he realised how early it actually was so decided to look for you as silently as possible.

and when he found you in the spare room the guilt seemed to increase. he didn't want to wake you but he wanted to apologize. so he settled for sliding into bed next to you before apologizing even if you couldn't hear as he wrapped his arms around you. this way when you woke, he could sort it out with you.

tighnari ★↷

some may call tighnari stubborn and in retaliation he would just say he was dedicated to his work. and both of those were true. you were well aware that his work often stressed him out and he became very stubborn. and rightfully you didn't like it when he brought it home.

especially after you had a difficult day. wanting to see your boyfriend after a long day just to find him taking his anger out on you for a simple question. you only asked him a simple 'how was your day?' and it seemed as though he hated you.

and so you started retaliating his behaviour in the same way. forming a rather difficult argument. so much so that tighnari said a particularly harsh comment before storming out of your shared residence. you practically scoffed before deciding you had enough and wanted just to go to bed.

tighnari hardly got far before the argument registered in his mind. his ears flattening against his head as he felt regret. but another issue was that he wasn't that great with emotions, so he silently feared that he would make it worse should he do the right thing and turn back to apologize.

but he knew that should he let it last, it would only break the relationship more. so he turned and headed back to apologize. and when he arrived he caught you heading to bed. but it appeared you had no intentions on sleeping with him. and this made his ears and tail sink even further.

and before he knew it apology after apology spilt from his lips. you stared at him and you could feel him pull at your heart strings but you knew should he not learn, this would be a recurring problem. so you gave him a hug and returned to the couch. and he understood.

you two would talk it over in the morning but tighnari barely slept as your missing presence really disturbed his sleep. so much so that in the middle of the night he managed to settle next to you on the couch and almost immediately fell asleep.

freminet ★↷

to many people, they knew freminet was rarely expressive. and even from a distance it didn't take much to figure out that he struggled to express emotions. you knew this going into the relationship and you knew you would have to be patient with him.

but seemingly because of your relationship, he did make an effort to try and get better at expressing emotions. after all communication in different ways is very important. so he knew that this would be a weak point in the relationship but so did you.

and you always told him that he didn't have to try and learn as you couls help him figure it out along the way. but that being said, arguments were very rare. and when they occured they were very different to other arguments.

whenever an argument happened they were always ovee small insignificant reasons. and each time freminet went into this isolated state. he blocked out everything around him and ignored you, secretly hoping the issue went away but this time all it achieved was you going away.

you couldn't help but feel slightly bad for leaving so abruptly but you truly did need time to calm down. and if anything him ignoring you was worse than him arguing back. but freminet had panicked when you left and immediately wanted to find you and apologize.

and you barely heard him until you felt his arms wrap around your midsection as he apologized. and you knew how hard he was trying so you awkwardly shuffled in his grip to return the embrace. you two stayed like taht a little while longer as then you two could properly talk it over.

dottore ★↷

dottore was quite honestly far from being the perfect lover. and to many from the outside they would fear for the people daring enough to be in a relationship with him. but you knew differently. sure he had a very different way of showing affection but maybe you preferred it that way.

and he was a rather rational man - more so when it came to you. so arguments were rare and often dealt with swiftly. but for all the knowledge he had he was very inexperienced in emotional intelligence. so often could be stubborn or dissmissive of your feelings.

a common argument for you two was his work. not so much the fatui part, but the fact that he would most of the time choose to spend all his time in the lab for days on end without speaking to you. rightfully, this made you mad and for a while his segments did dampen this.

but you wanted to see your actual lover not his clones. and eventually he kept needing more and more in the lab. so you decided that if he wasn't going to acknowledge you, you weren't going to acknowledge him. so from the minute you next saw him, you ignored him.

he had little time for your antics. his experiment didn't go anywhere near how he wanted it to go and he did want to see you but now you were ignoring him. ao his already thin patience ram thinner and he eventually made the snide comment about your so called 'childish' behaviour. and eventually an argument ensued.

you had enough of him and left. atleast his segments had more emotional sense than he did. and it was one if the older segments that convinced him to apologize to you. so when he saught you out and found you he immediately dissmissed any segments you found company with.

you still ignored him up until you heard him apologize. you had half a mind to tease him but you knew how hard he struggled with stuff like this so you let him continue. he rambled on and on about how he promised he wouldn't do it again and how sorry he was. and eventually, very reluctantly, he opened his arms as if asking for a hug.

and you felt compelled to agree. you stayed in his embrace as he made his final promise. he soon came to realise actually how much you meant to him and you better believe him that he would do anything to keep you happy with him.

[clareguilty]

WIP Wednesday!

Thank you SO MUCH for the tag @beaconfeels! 💖 Tagging: @in-over-my-head @ivymarquis @takaraphoenix @verai-marcel

Here is a snippet from a Stetopher fic that I'm planning to publish after I finish posting "Little Red"

-

“I know I’m not working with any of the natural advantages that you guys have,” Stiles tries to get back on track. “But surely you can help me out a little? Is there anything I can do to make myself more… I dunno… desirable?”

What a beautiful idiot. Peter has watched this boy fight an entire pack of alpha werewolves. Seen him break a baseball bat over the head of a mutant. Stare down assassins like it was just a normal Tuesday. He couldn’t be less desirable if he tried. He’d certainly grown into himself over the past few years. The fighting had given him a specific type of confidence as much as it had scarred and broken him. He was reckless, self-sacrificing. He was currently chewing on the drawstring of his hoodie in a way that drove Peter absolutely mad.

But he couldn’t say any of that. Time to deflect. “I’d love to hear more about the ‘natural advantages’ Chris and I are working with,” Peter leers.

Stiles gives him a flat look. “There’s only so much flattery I’m willing to exchange on top of humiliating myself here.”

“Fair,” Peter nods. “The only problem is Christopher and myself, as well as the other wolves, are all hunters. Predators. Your distinct allure lies elsewhere. As prey.”

Stiles makes a face. “I think that was the meanest insult I’ve ever gotten. You know we’re talking about hookups, right?”

“It’s not an insult. It’s the natural order.” Peter carries on. “You’ve been chasing, but you’re wasted on it. I doubt you even enjoy the hunt.”

"What is there to enjoy?” Stiles asks. “Do you know how miserable it is wandering around in a dark club trying to find someone to even give you the time of day?”

“My point exactly,” Peter raises his eyebrows as if Stiles is supposed to be keeping up with any of the nonsense he’s talking about.

“I think,” Chris chimes in, “what Peter is trying to say is that you don’t give yourself enough credit. I’m sure plenty of people would take the initiative to spend time with you. You don’t have to put in all the work trying to find a partner. Let them come to you.”

“What am I supposed to do? I’m not Derek. I can’t just stand around all hot and awkward and have dozens of women throwing themselves at me.” Stiles sighs in defeat.

“Just try it. You’ll have more success than you think.”

[soapoet]

PJO pick-a-card reading

Thalia Grace; How to be brave

this anon requested a reading for guidance and encouragement to harness the bravery needed to pursue dreams and desires in earnest without fear.

01.

When you face challenges, or come upon opportunities that speak to you but fear and anxiety speak louder, focus on what is on the other side of that which you dread. Who is the version of you that managed to overcome this? What does their life look like? What aspects have changed for the better? Then push yourself beyond the first, second and third save point. It becomes easier to move forward when you're looking to the horizon when what lies in your immediate surroundings frightens you or makes you hesitant. Treating scary steps as though you are just passing through on your way elsewhere will help you through it. Making that phone call, sending that text message or email may be a little nerve-wracking, but if you focus in the moment only on the purpose of it and the outcome rather than worrying about your wording, the reception, and whatever else your nerves may conjure up, you will get through the daunting task with more ease. After all, you're only passing through.

Another thing to note is that what works for others may not work for you, and this makes you no anomaly. It's normal, and you are not flawed. We all come upon situations and circumstances wherein the tried and true simply does not compute. Do not underestimate your problem solving abilities, and do not sell yourself short. Sometimes it is only you who truly understands the nuance and intricacies of your challenges, the potential consequences, and applying a one-size-fits-all solution could work against what it is that you want.

When your soul yearns for independence, act independently. Sometimes you must do what you must, even if the odds are stacked against you and the crowd is booing, not cheering. Prove them wrong. Choose to live the life you wish to lead regardless of the naysayers and their ideas of what is best for you. And remember that changing your mind is okay. If today your best life looks different from what it will look like a week from now, you are not wishy-washy, undecided, unreliable or incompetent, but a human being experiencing a change of heart and mind, generating new ideas and finding your own way. Your dreams are only as unrealistic as you consent others to judge them.

02.

You really ought to give laughing in the face of fear a try. It might just be menacing enough to scare it right back. Even if you already find yourself rather capable, you still do not give yourself enough credit, and you could easily push yourself further. You may hold back sometimes when you're caught up in worries about the consequences or the prospect of wasting time, but you could truly harness fear as a fuel. The life you wish to lead, once achieved, could inspire others and keep them from paralysis by uncertainty. Train yourself to say yes more often, and jump in head first precisely when you feel yourself hesitate and think you can't do it. Because you can. Within reason, it's perfectly okay to be a little reckless.

The journey should be equally revered as the destination itself, and it is the journey which has much to teach you. The more you leap into free fall to seize opportunities that further your pursuit of what you want, the less scary that dive into the unknown becomes, until it's not very frightening at all. When you feel doubtful of whether you're even headed in the right direction, continue onwards still, because chances are you have wonders and treasure troves of experience and knowledge to uncover from right where you are at the time and just around the corner. You can make necessary adjustments and changes along the way without fretting so much about whether it's the best choice. Fear of failure or a phobia of square one is only as scary as you let it affect you, and you can make use of that fear as motivation to fuel your pursuit of your goals.

Keep in mind that you don't need to be perfect right away. Everybody faces some trial and error, and there are many things we can only learn along the way, things exist which we couldn't have prepared for, so don't be so hard on yourself and think you don't have a green light because your plan is vague at best and missing information. The more you journey onwards and allow yourself to choose to live life as you desire every step of the way, the more times you'll face these trials which test your ability and tenacity to always choose what is in your best interest and aligned with your wishes, and the easier it becomes to work around push yourself to go and trust that you can handle whatever curveballs are thrown your way.

03.

Considering what all you've been through, you're already quite brave, though you give yourself no such credit, do you? Media often shows bravery in the extremes, and for someone so gentle it may feel outlandish to give yourself such a title. But bravery can be quiet, and it can be found in the smallest acts of kindness and our little sacrifices for the peace and comfort of others. When we taken on burdens of our fellow people, we are as brave as we are strong and kind, taking on more than our fair share.

You may struggle finding a spot in the sun amongst others, and worry you take up too much space or cast a shadow on another. Pursuing the things you wish upon yourself can often be an afterthought because you think so heavily on your duties of being there for others first, and get hung up on imagined chain reactions, paralysed by the idea that your moves may step on toes or simply allow you to share a spotlight with those you find more deserving. You should be kinder to yourself. And perhaps your best bet would be to embrace the shadows and work towards your goals quietly. When you're already fighting your own doubts, you should keep some things secret lest you invite the conscious or subconscious doubts of others into the mix. At least you stand a chance against just yours, so don't add more players to the opposing team before you're well on your way to achieve your goals and have something to show for to weed out any semblance of doubt in others before they grow roots.

If you have trouble taking the first step towards your desires, consider riding the dopamine waves from smaller, even more mundane achievements, and let it be the wind in your sails. Listen to guidance and ask for help when you need it, but know that you need not let it overrule your own ideas of how to proceed. Just as with tarot, take what resonates and leave what does not, and always trust your inner guidance. Your journey is yours, and the life you wish to lead should be built by your own hand to have your unique fingerprints on it, so fret not if you wish to do things differently than others who already have their success stories. Remember that there is no rush and you can take things one step at a time. You will always be equally behind and ahead of others so never worry that it's too late for you to do something. The impact of your achievements upon others who have and are struggling like you can yield priceless inspiration, so that they, too, may decide to follow their dreams because you showed them you could and they could too.

[nemesis-is-my-middle-name]

With how all over the place and messy his motivations seem to be, it almost would have made more sense to me for the primary motivation of his turn to be the simple fact that he's working in retail lol. Lord knows there were plenty of bad days where I was like "people are a mistake" and might have been willing to end the known universe if just one more thing went wrong or I had to deal with one more horrible, unreasonable customer. At least Hisui is largely empty, so there are way, way less people to deal with, but on the downside he doesn't get any fun battles like a modern trainer would, just a lot of commute time featuring deadly encounters. He's young too, like older teenager-early twenties and seems to have cooked up this whole mess quite a few years ago, which aren't anyone's most stable. HC from you of echo chamber of discontent with his evil togekiss + job he hates and no end in sight + the recklessness of youth = ripping holes in space and time to yell at god and demand they fix the world, makes sense to me.

But to your point, him having an actual, regular ass job is a nice change of pace! I can't think of any other big bad who has one... except maybe whatshisname from Kalos? Forget what he does but maybe ceo? Even Giovanni is a gym leader, which is like a special job. Not comparable to some dead-end retail job. Though I guess Volo and Giovanni do have a handshake meme of shirking their duties to do their real passion, so there is that.

wwkjhwjkh yeah honestly, lysander and (i think) lusamine and rose technically have Jobs, but even ceo is kind of a Special Job in the same way a gym leader is imo. there really are kind of no other villains who are just some guy normally i don't think. volo's entire Thing really is justifiable purely on the basis that he is like twenty (hell years) working retail (hell job) with an apocalypse plan he's been sitting on since he was fifteen (you are your absolute least rational at fifteen.) and sadly he somehow found out a real workable way to end and remake reality. when you think about it from that angle he really makes so much more sense as a character and person.

srsly though i know i've said this before but i think volo makes waaaay more sense as a character if you ignore the tangle that is his canon ranting and look at him as a very young and DEEPLY miserable person who is on so many levels not making stable decisions. he hates his job, hates his life, has a miserable life history, plus with the added confirmation that there's sort of a general air of gloom & doom around hisui atm that's like, the cultural/social situation he's been steeped in (even if he goes elsewhere as a guild member, he pretty clearly considers hisui His considering the whole fixation on arceus.) dude was Not set up for success. modern au where volo goes to therapy and gets a couple prescriptions and gets to live out his true purpose of being some fucking guy

[wisegirl25]

Okay so I'll just answer with my personal ideas per question

what would she fight for if not zaun?-I think this really depends on her upbringing (I.e. if she's still raised in poverty) but I like to believe she would fight for equality, against capitalism, police brutality, systemic oppression, etc.

what would her mental health look like without that childhood trauma?-We know that Jinx was pretty unstable even as Powder, although that was direct result of being brought up in Zaun. She'd probably still struggle mentally here, especially if in this world her parents are still dead/she's seperated from Vi, but I don't think it would be as bad as in arcane. Maybe she'd have BPD/depression, possibly schizophrenia, since that's genetic.

how would she express herself creatively?-Jinx's creativity is a huge part of her character, she'd likely express it the same in this world as in hers. Through her clothing, her art, her inventions, her personal belongings, etc. I think she'd be huge on DIY and making things herself, and everything she owns would have her colourful touch to it.

would she still make explosives if there wasnt a need for them?-I think her genius abilities would likely be focused elsewhere, however she may still have a fascination with explosions, but in a more scientific way instead of her focus on the destruction they cause.

would she still be a violent person? i like to think that she wouldnt resort to violence if there wasnt a need for it / if it wasnt the normality. but she does seem to be impulsively reckless by nature. how would this show in the modern day world?-I think her impulsivity/recklessness would show itself through bad decisions that would only harm her, not others. Without the need for violence to protect herself, I think she wouldn't be a violent person, but her recklessness could still hurt the people around her emotionally.

how do you think she would do in school? would she get good grades? would she do her homework? would she have many friends? what would she do at recess and lunch? did she dropout? would she be in special ed classes for her unpredictable or possibly violent behavior?-I think she would do okay in school. She would get perfect marks on exams/assignments (she is a genius after all), but her grades would suffer due to her bad attendance/getting in trouble a lot. She'd probably only do homework is she found it interesting, if at all. She'd get by due to her intelligence and end up at university for engineering through a contest scholarship.

what would her relationship with vi be like?-Better than in canon, but probably a bit rough around the edges. If Vi becomes a police officer in the real world, that could be a point of tension for the two.

what would her hobbies be?-Art, DIY, making/designing gadgets, coding (possibly), pranking people, she'd definitely be the type to shitpost on every platform ever and spam people with memes that make no sense.

what would her relationship with her phone be like? is she a doomscroller? Oh, 100%. She would be chronically online.

she seems like the kind of person who likes to have a project. what would her project be?-Probably something of her own invention that she's constantly improving/modifying. If she's with Ekko they would definitely have projects they work on together.

what would her hair look like?-This could go two ways, either she keeps the iconic braids as a way to stand out from the crowd, or she'd have it super short, no in between.

how would she dress / style herself?-I definitely see her being alternative in this world, maybe punk or goth, or a mix of the two. She would be a firm believer in not buying fast fashion and would thrift/make all of her clothes. Spikes, bright colours contrasting with dark ones, flashy makeup, piercings and tattoos, etc.

what would her room look like?-A total mess, but very indicative of her mental state. It would have posters and half finished projects everywhere, the worse her mental state the more messy it would get. She'd never turn on the overhead lights and use coloured LED's all the time.

who would her pop girlie be?-Ashnikko, definitely. Jinx's musical style gives metal/pop-punk/rock.

and what are just some weird little quirks or behaviors you think she would have?-She would eat the weirdest food combos ever that everyone else thinks are super gross. She draws in the margins of every single notebook she owns. She'll wack people with her braids if they annoy her. When she listens to music she completely zones out from the rest of the world, same when she'd working on something. She never gets any sleep. She has the biggest sweet tooth ever and absolutely hates coffee, so she drinks energy drinks instead.

arcane thought food

if jinx/powder grew up in this day and age, what would she be like? a lot of her characterisation is due to her trauma and the circumstances in which arcane takes place. she is a reaction if you will. so what would her reaction to this world be like?

what would she fight for if not zaun?

what would her mental health look like without that childhood trauma?

how would she express herself creatively?

would she still make explosives if there wasnt a need for them?

would she still be a violent person? i like to think that she wouldnt resort to violence if there wasnt a need for it / if it wasnt the normality. but she does seem to be impulsively reckless by nature. how would this show in the modern day world?

how do you think she would do in school? would she get good grades? would she do her homework? would she have many friends? what would she do at recess and lunch? did she dropout? would she be in special ed classes for her unpredictable or possibly violent behavior?

what would her relationship with vi be like?

what would her hobbies be?

what would her relationship with her phone be like? is she a doomscroller?

she seems like the kind of person who likes to have a project. what would her project be?

what would her hair look like?

how would she dress / style herself?

what would her room look like?

who would her pop girlie be?

and what are just some weird little quirks or behaviors you think she would have?

idk how people will respond to this. personally i feel like i could write an essay. so if you want to actually respond to these questions i would read it. i also put numbers so if u just have specific feelings on one or a few of these u can just respond with the number. u can put it in the reblogs or comments or dm me or whatever. u could also put these in my ask box if you want my opinion. or you can just imagine it in your head. its meant to be thought provoking. what you do with those thoughts is up to you.

[ohmym1stake]

infodumping about my grey's anatomy blorbos: edition #2

this time around i am midway thru season 10.... my #1 blorbo is about to leave and im worried and scared because of some spoilers i read. but anyways here is my current analysis!

BLORBOS

- meredith grey. we started off rocky but i love and support her wholeheartedly now. has done the least stupid stuff as a doctor! bonus points for that. has gone through so much more than she deserves.

- derek shepherd. has done a lot of stupid shit and is a very stupid and reckless man. but underneath all of that he is a good man who wants to do good and help people. an amazing father!!!! and husband.

- cristina yang. the closest to perfect. i wish she would stop making awful relationship decisions. in my world she is happily married to a woman. a nurse, maybe.

- george o'malley. my perfect perfect son. ohhhhh my son. i am so sorry you died. i wish you had gotten to be happy with callie and have a great little family together and be an amazing surgeon.

- callie torres. brilliant surgeon brilliant woman. a little stupid at times. but i think her strengths are all way stronger than that.

- mark sloan. also very stupid! but in a very charming way. was amazing to watch him grow and change.

- lexie grey. deserved a better exit from the show wtffff. got used as an extra trauma to throw at meredith or something like damn. she was amazing and excellent in her own right. justice for lexiepedia.

- april kepner. BABYYYYYY. amazing and deserves the world, honestly. i have nothing but admiration for her i think.

- heather brooks. AAAAAAGH?!!!!! she was so cute and fun and brought an energy to the show nobody else has! deserved soooo much better.

HALF BLORBOS.

- alex karev. has done too many messy and problematic things to be a full blorbo but like derek he is ultimately a good man who wants to do good. amazing peds surgeon. can't wait to see him as a dad i bet he'll be a little league coach.

- miranda bailey. now normally she would be full blorbo but she's been bothering me a little lately! amazing surgeon! amazing woman! but she needs to get her life more under control or something.

BLORBO BY ASSOCIATION

- jackson avery. i was gonna put him in "it won't work" but it could eventually idk. he's great for april and a good doctor! i don't like his face tho and mostly he kinda bores me

- reed adamson. i think i would have loved her so much if she got to live longer. i think about her and april a lot.

PARTIAL BLORBOS

- addison montgomery. i think i just don't see her enough to be a full blorbo. excellent character tho.

- teddy altman. i think when she comes back on the show she'll get an upgrade but right now she's away and not on my mind. she was pretty damn good tho.

- stephanie edwards. she's really great but right now her plot is kind of just avery. i hope to love her more soon!

EX BLORBOS.

- izzie stevens. used to be my favorite.... she was so great. honestly i blame cancer for everything. Except the denny lvad thing i think that was precancer. but the romance with george that she dropped so fast? and then doing all that crap to alex? unforgivable. i hope she finds happiness in a new life with new people but i want her far away from my blorbos.

IT WILL NEVER WORK BUT I DON'T HATE YOU

- owen hunt. i DO hate his pro-life stance. treated cristina awfully there. but he is also the best love interest she had. and he's a great trauma surgeon, and the best chief i have seen! we just have too many differences to ever truly blorb together.

- arizona robbins. Honestly? most of the time i Do hate her. but i also respect her too much to Anti her. especially her growth after losing her leg! but it fucking sucked for callie. i think if the show had kept mark alive i could have gotten along with her more but she has been awful to callie way too much.

- leah murphy. Mad respect for her crazy but her emotions are also what ruined her. i hope she has a good career elsewhere.

- ben warren. sometimes he's good for bailey sometimes he makes her worse. but i respect him.

I DON'T KNOW

- jo wilson. uhhhh..... she just kinda exists i don't know. sometimes she's good for alex. but i am not very interested in her. does not spark joy.

- charles percy. i think we would have had a very rocky relationship had he lived but i think the way they killed him was very artful? it was one of the best death scenes i have seen.

ANTI BLORBOS.

- richard webber. he has done too much fuckass shit and acted insufferably FAR too many times. way more tolerable as a general surgeon and not as chief but still incredibly irritating.

- preston burke. took advantage of cristina in so many ways and never once truly considered himself and his own actions. selfish, awful man.

- erica hahn. Too bitter. involved emotions in her work in a way i disliked? i think she was never meant to be a main character.

- shane ross. Bruh what the fuckkkkk. he has done way too much wrong. maybe someday if we actually tackle the fact that he kinda Killed heather we can be at least partial or something but ..... i don't want him on this show.

- ellis grey. Noooooope. don't even care about all her groundbreaking work or her disease or whatever. i want nothing to do with her.

- adele webber. i hated her so much and there was no reason to make her so evil and irritating so much??????? the show would have been way more interesting and webber might have been more redeemable if she had been Good.

- sloan riley. this girl pissed me offffff like she went thru it she was having a bad time but ultimately she just ruined shit for mark and lexie and that sucks.

- catherine avery. whenever shes around and is rude to jackson he becomes a temporary blorbo. he doesn't deserve the shit she puts him through. frustrating character overall. But! mad respect to her work as a urologist she always brings interesting cases to the show!

[i-am-megalodonna]

Collector's Curse AU - Liar Revealed

I'm typing all of this out on my phone because I don't have a computer anymore.  Pray for me.

Anyway.  After rotating this issue in my brain for a few weeks, I’ve decided how I want to reveal the Collector to the other characters.  Remember when I talked about all that mindscape stuff?  That’s the plan now.

I don't have an exact time in mind, but let's just say somewhere in season 2a.  In my journal I wrote somewhere between Yesterday's Lie and Elsewhere and Elsewhen.  I don't remember why I wanted that specific range but yeah sure.

The exact situation I have in mind: during an unspecified event someone is suddenly under threat of falling debris.  Who it is doesn't really matter, but it's someone who cannot immediately defend themselves against falling debris.  So really anyone except Willow and Amity.  In an act of reckless desperation, Luz throws herself in front of them and the Collector uses their power to neutralize the threat.  However this happens, it's enough of a strain to put them out of commission.

For a while people around Luz have been noticing odd behaviors and occurrences, and this one is the final nail in the coffin. They had a good view of the entire thing, and they saw Luz use magic - powerful magic - without the help of glyphs.  There's no denying now that something's going on.  So why does she keep trying to do exactly that?

They get to worrying that Luz is being manipulated somehow.  Luz isn't always the most open about her struggles, but it's getting a little ridiculous at this point.  What if something, some force they can't see, is keeping her quiet somehow?  They're in the Boiling Isles, it's not like it's a huge reach.  So, after considerable consideration, they hatch a plan to go right to the source - Luz's mindscape.  If something is wrong, they'll surely find it there.

As far as who actually enters the mindscape, Amity and Gus are a definite, and Willow is a maybe.  If Willow goes in then we have her and Amity working together, and I'm not sure how that would affect their arc.  Also, either Eda or Lilith goes in with the kids.  As long as they have two adults on the premises, there's no reason to not have a chaperone.  I can see benefits to either one being on either end, so that's still up in the air.

They take the walkie talkie to have a constant line of communication on both ends.  The spells are prepared beforehand, and the second Luz falls asleep it's go time.

I've already described what happens when they enter Luz's mindscape.  In short, everything looks fine and normal until they find the inner Luz, who's looking a little jacked.  Just like the outer Luz, the inner Luz is evasive, but eventually relents, realizing there's no way out.  The group is led to the split between the two mindscapes and told that beyond the split is where they'll find what they're looking for.  She refuses to elaborate any further, citing that they chose to enter the mindscape, so they can figure it out themselves.

As a final note, the inner Luz tells them that Luz will be mad at them for doing this, but that she understands why.

With only the inner Luz's cryptic descriptions to guide them, they make their way into the strange new mindscape.  There they meet the inner Collector.  He is significantly less friendly.

Unbeknownst to them, all their running and hiding actually does them a huge disservice.  Not knowing their identities, the Collector reacts to them as unfamiliar intruders (plus, if they're in his mind that means they initially invaded Luz's).  Which is to say, he quickly becomes hostile.  He only realizes the identities of the intruders at the very last second, and at that point they're leaving and it's far too late to rectify his mistake.

Luz wakes up the second they get out of there.  As the inner Luz says, she is very displeased.  She knows her friends were worried but what the heck guys you can't just waltz on into someone's head.

They apologize and don't blame Luz for being upset.  They didn't need the inner Luz to know she would be.

But now that they've seen first hand what's really in there, there's no longer any way out for Luz.  She needs to come clean.  So come clean she does.

[aurumacadicus]

i have a head cannon in my head that because tony is smol he stands on literally anything when in an argument with someone. he just climbs and starts yelling back.

out in public? stands in the hood of a car

in the workshop? stands in a bench

at the office? swipes everything off a dash and stands on it.

in the kitchen? he will stand on the countertop/table, “fuck your food i have to make a point here.”

Listen, if his friends weren't all fucking giants, he'd be able to argue like a normal person. It starts at MIT because younger and therefore smaller than everyone else. He gets into an argument with Rhodey over the theoretical metabolisms of hobbits and Rhodey is towering over him yelling about enzymes and Tony WILL BE HEARD so he climbs onto the table and just starts bellowing about gut flora. They get kicked out of the cafeteria for the rest of the day. One time Maria was getting on Carol's case about her cheating at racing and Carol goes to get Tony onto her side first because he's a hothead who's easily swayed and when Maria tells him that he's fallen right into Carol's trap, Tony climbs on top of Carol's car and screeches until Carol admits that it's true. Somehow Maria and Carol are both amused by this.

Happy walks in on Tony standing on his desk shouting at Pepper about profit margins and he's about to tell Pepper to give him time to calm down but then Pepper is also climbing onto the desk to continue yelling at him and he has to run in and stop Tony from putting a chair on top of the desk so he can be taller than her again. Then he has both Tony and Pepper yelling at him because apparently he should have let Tony be an idiot. This is why Tony pays him so much. He deserves it.

And it doesn't help that his friends get taller as life goes on. Steve was bad enough, but then THOR showed up, and he's even taller. Most mornings the rest of the Avengers walk into the kitchen to find Tony on the breakfast bar shouting at Thor because he CAN'T keep drinking all of Tony's special French roast he NEEDS to leave some for him and Thor contending that it's fine because he literally makes an entire pot to replace the one he drank. Steve keeps frantically moving the bananas he's cutting up for his smoothie as Tony begins pacing and keeps doing so until finally Thor plucks Tony off the counter and just holds him up so he continues being taller. It 1) takes no effort, Tony weighs the same as a couple of grapes and 2) Tony is not offended so long as he doesn't sink lower than three inches above Thor. Natasha posts this on Twitter and then blames it on Bruce and as it turns out, Tony is willing to climb into the vents and then hang back out to yell at the Hulk, who looks absolutely bewildered by the turn of events. Natasha posts this on Twitter as well. Most people are more boggled by the fact that Steve doesn't learn and start cutting his bananas elsewhere but Steve is stubborn and also Tony hasn't stepped on a banana yet so what's the problem.

One time, during post-battle cleanup, Tony tries to shout at Bucky for doing something reckless, but every time he climbs a car or other debris, Bucky just follows him up. Finally, Tony marches over to Steve, scales him, and then directs Steve over to Bucky by the ears. "AND ANOTHER THING," Tony continues, and both Steve and Bucky sigh in dismay. Thor makes himself scarce because he doesn't want to be around if Tony decides he needs to be even taller, because it looked like being led by the ears had hurt Steve quite a lot.

Anyway, it all comes to a head when Natasha gets into a vicious disagreement with Bucky in Russian and she climbs onto the back of the couch to continue yelling at him and Bucky just sputters and says, "Who do you think you are, Tony?!" and Natasha drops onto the couch and stares at the ceiling for an hour in silence because oh God, oh fuck, she was turning into Tony. Then she decides she doesn't care. because clearly Tony had the right idea and she'd just never realized before, leaps up onto the back of the couch in one swift move, and continue ranting at Bucky in Russian. Besides, she can elbow drop him better from there.

[bakingandbooks3]

A Court of Song and Serpents

A bit short but the begging of a project I'm SO excited for- hope you love this as much as I do.

Summary: What a time to be alive as Nesta Archeron, going backward to move forward and finding that the places she once called home are now empty tombs.

Nesta

Nesta held her breath for a moment, a pause, and stilled entirely. The Court of Nightmares. She knew the verdict would be severe, but never would she have expected exile to a world of terror. The horrors of that place, of how it was once the main residence of the High Lord- till Rhysand.

Rhysand, the man who boasted of lands bountiful with choice and reason, now sat across from her donning unmasked hatred. A look he kept shielded from his mate, reserved just for Nesta. The kind that rips one apart from the inside out, would carve out the belly of a beast, burn a witch on a wooden pyre.

Nesta felt nothing, she always did. It wasn’t hard to see what he was thinking of her, how his beautiful wife’s wretched sister was little more than a gambling thief who slept her way through his glorious city. Now, fingers smeared that blank canvas so pure of her darkest shades.

Eyes flicking back, she studied that same sister. The Cursebreaker, the Savior.

How small and insignificant she became next to the glimmering shining thing Feyre was. The lands spoke of her beauty and kind touch, and how she sacrificed everything to save a world of people, and Fae that she was raised to despise.

Nesta wished it’d be known that her touch wasn’t always kind.

She built her bricks firm enough that her house of grace never shattered; Held firm, it was all she had left in her. Too many eyes on her filled with grief, excitement, retribution-Nesta was keenly aware of how this Court of Dreams felt of her.

“This is an exile.”

Rhysand's smirk peaked so slightly, his mate tensing.

“No, no. This is an intervention, a chance for you to find yourself away from bad influences and habits. You can’t keep living like this, and I refuse to let it continue happening and I take the fall for it. Your decisions are impractical and immoral. You are sober much less than you are drunk and-”

“If you’re going to condemn me, do it. But don’t sit here and act as if this is out of kindness.” Nesta snarled. She hated the barbed words, but it’s what she felt. “Who are you to question my morality?”

“I think I can speak for my wife when I say that your presence here is….” Rhysand growled but pulled back, like he forgot Feyre was right there, too.

Nesta wished he would’ve let go, so maybe that facade Rhys reserved for Feyre was broken. No, that’s cruel. As much as she hated this and him, he was making her sister happy.

Something Nesta could never do.

“I do not give a shit what my presence is doing. The decision has already been made, so stop scolding me like a child and make good on your word, Rhysand.” Bile rose in her throat, the words feeling nothing but slimy and disgusting. Foreign, yet habitual all the same. Sometimes, she forgets there once was a woman called Nesta who was so much more than the viper living in her now.

Sometimes she remembers that she can’t ever be her again.

Home was nowhere for her, not in a person, not in a place, certainly not in this bombastic group of “heroes”. Nesta didn’t need a hero, she just needed someone to care. But Nesta knew better, no one would. She was taught to be unlovable, just a woman to be sold off and married- to climb her mothers' ever-growing social ladder.

But Nesta on her own was never enough, even with her mother six feet under and rotted away there were unsung expectations unmet. She was a catastrophic failure and a dark smear on a family name that never truly held weight to her.

Nesta looked up, felt everything all at once again, could only see one man pacing a worn-through tether between them. He wasn’t going to stop this, but she could see it, how it looked like he wanted to jump out of his own flesh, the veins of his arm prominent and knuckles normally so brown a new fresh fallen snow.

There was no prince to save Nesta, much less any will to save herself. So when Mor took the pleasure of bringing her to a living Hell, Nesta did not fight.

She was tired of fighting, after all, she fought an inescapable fate for the first twenty years of her life…

Flowers always made Nesta sneeze, but Elain lit like lights during winter whenever she could thread them through her hair. They all symbolized something, Laine would say. There are ones for good days, and hard storms, for sunshine and stars.

Nesta was always adorned in flowers that paralleled the estate. Astute, cold, tired, where she was warm, comforting, and smelled like cookies- ones that Celia normally baked for the sisters. She never asked Laine why she picked the ones for her that she did, her reasons would stay silent for now.

Spring was a high time of activity in the Archeron estate. There was always a flurry of activity, from preparing their mothers' obscene balls, to guests at every corner in every room. The halls were sprinkled in candles and on walls hung frames nearly kissing it was packed so tight.

They were in the gardens. It was an Elain day, as the girls would call it, and no matter how boring or mundane her wishes were they’d be fulfilled. Nesta was propped on the floor in front of Laine, who was bunching handfuls to weave in tangled auburn coils that gathered on Nesta’s head- as a bird's nest would.

Eventually, Nesta would have to learn braids or risk knotting the curls entirely.

The eldest basked in the silence she created from mentally muting her middle sister, and spared a glance at Feyre. What she saw was not surprising, but required far more willpower than she expected to not burst into laughter and risk the flowery rat's nest on her scalp.

Feyre appeared to be so bored out of her mind she was eating discarded flowers of Elains. Actually, ingesting them, as if she was a critique. When Elain wasn’t looking at Feyre, she’d grab another couple and study them- analyzing her next experiment. Glaring at the blues and yellows as if she was speaking to them, “Which one of you will make me puke the fastest so I can run away?”

In time, Feyre looked up from her taste tests to see Nesta grinning at her so violently you’d think Feyre hung the moon.

And Feyre beamed back, crossing a pinkie across her chest and pointing it back to Nesta. Then she viciously spit out the grass she’d just finished chewing, crying directly at Laine, “This MUST stop at once, my stomach hurts far too much to continue on here.”

Elain, in a garden so quiet, simply ignored her sister's poor attempts at escape. Making Nesta work even harder to stifle the shaking of her shoulders, covering her mouth and nose before she started wheezing. Elain would hardly hurt a fly but sent Nesta a glare that could’ve easily killed a man.

Nesta cleared her throat, “I do believe there are more of the blue flowers down that hill near the pond. Would you mind getting some more for Laine?”

Feyre was already on her feet, mouthing her thanks as Elain turned her back to get the next bunch of flowers, “Why of course I will!” And with a very bad curtsey, Feyre threw off her shoes and was rolling down the hill, spinning wildly, her laughter sure to be heard in meadows far beyond theirs.

You would find the Archeron sisters all together, or never in the same place.

Laine was the easiest to find, by the waters or pond on the east side, in gardens surrounded with bugs and willows calling to the young girl. She could hardly read but if the text included any mention of colors and blooms, suddenly she was a scholar. Elain was not simple or dull, but rather a passive spirit, like a summer wind- brief, fleeting, but teeming with love and hope.

Feyre, as their mother said, was a reckless wild child. Far too young to care, far too small to be whipped into shape. If you were sent to find her and your life depended on it, may the Mother bless you. Feyre liked the kitchen, because of the immaculate food and maids who would shove any sweet down the littlest Archerons throat. But, also for the immeasurable amount of sharp items to be found in there. If it was pointy and could stab a wall or scare their ice-cold mother, Feyre would be running the halls with it in hand or making targets of her fathers old trade route maps.

Then there was Nesta, the firstborn. Molded to be another woman that she somehow couldn’t fit, as if her feet were too big or hair too long, Nesta was outgrowing the standards forged into her being. You would see her as a ghost, floating in and out of rooms, comfortable in silence and slumber, but never escaping people. She loved the maids and could recite all of their names like clockwork, and the workers loved her in turn. Always stuck in new worlds between pages or willingly dragged by the two youngers, Nesta teemed with liberation. She was often alone, but never lonely, and found new loves in the library or in the fields beyond marble confines.

Adela was constantly dissatisfied with her eldest's progress inside these walls, as if at eight she should’ve already been engaged to a prince. Granted, Adela knew better. Nesta would never truly find another kingdom to buy into when she already had a crown waiting for her elsewhere. She was known as fair and beautiful beyond her years, would age like fine wine, and become so much greater than Adela ever was. What Nesta saw as fit would normally come to be, an instinct Adela was unprepared she would inherit. Nothing left her more confused than this daughter only by blood, who was hated by both her parents for reasons far from the same, and how at less than ten years had an entire mansion wrapped around her fingers.

But Adela would wait, and simply leave them be for now. When viper's strike, they kill. And even though the Matron of the house wanted her little queen gone, she had other ways to see this through.

Anyways, children's blood on her hands would stain her diamonds.

---

Cassian

Cassian was violently fucking ill. Watching whatever the fuck that was did not help in the slightest. The second she was gone, so was he.

The General and High Lord were not on speaking terms, his presence was an obligation and not a request. When Rhys first displayed his plans, Cassian just about murdered him. Had his brother on the table in a chokehold that the Shadowsinger had to come and release Rhys from. The way his so-called family planned her exile was… horrific.

Cassian was full of light and humor, but not dull the way his family made him out to be. He could see this for what it was, punishing an already broken female for not meeting every damn need of a fully grown woman that was no longer her responsibility. Cass knew better than to downplay the sacrifices Feyre made, but he was also well aware that Nesta's habits were hardly a financial problem and more of a reputation scandal.

That’s what the High Lord did best, when his Court was breaking at the bonds, the mess would “disappear”. Just like the Illyrians hidden in the mountains, the displaced families of Spring, the homeless warriors of Night.

Cassian loved his brother, but more often than not he wondered when Fate would come to bite them in the asses for Rhys’ neglect.

Now, here he was, in his mothers' cabin, wings dragging behind him wiping tears long since shed over a woman who was thrown to the wolves and torn into so many scraps he wasn’t sure how he could put her together again.

He missed his Nesta, the one who threw glares and begged for her people, not this one who hardly spoke and caved into herself enough that she couldn’t see where she was heading.

Cassian fingered for his mug in the wooden cabinets and hit his mark, soon placing water to heat over a small fire over the counter.

He was not okay, not okay at all.

When you look for something in the dark for too long, you eventually find what you need but not always in the way you expect. Cassian coped the same as Nesta Archeron in his first years post-war. It was suffocating trying to be the happy one while dying inside. He watched men he looked up to fall and a lover he admired take her last breath- too much in far too little time. Cassian was not an idiot, he was simply perplexed. Why was he allowed to grieve in unacceptable manners, but Nesta was a sinner in holy clothing?

Bright walls and unlit rooms in the house were silent, only the winds of the mountains singing outside. The newly dusted snow wrapped the dirt in a delicate kiss- a forbidden touch. It was the peak of winter, just after Feyre’s birthday and another insufferable party.

One that Nesta wasn’t invited to.

Cassian wished he wasn’t invited either.

The cup in his hands was dwarfed in comparison to the bulky Illyrian holding it, but at least it was warm. At least it wasn’t empty.

Because if there was one thing he knew, it could always be worse.

Cassian knew that if things were a little different, he’d be the one sitting in a prison of darkness and Hell because of mistakes made as a child. He’d be exiled by family, cast away by the only living remains of a life once lived.

Nesta didn’t know but long before this he had called it even, their sins atoned for in hurting each other equally.

She was the only one in the world who could tell which smiles he was faking.

To anyone on the outside, one kiss was merely that. How curious it was, the iceberg went far deeper.

So when the mug crashed against the wall, and in its wake resembled his inner turmoil, Cassian took to the skies and found himself at the door of a place far too familiar.

.

.

.

AHHHHHHHH OMG OKAY hope you guys enjoyed this:) if you want to be added to the tag list let me know!

@lovemeforever12345 @champanheandluxxury @nahthanks@perseusannabeth@queenestarcheron@silvernesta

@loosingdreams@sayosdreams@audreycressworth@cyra04@that-golden-lyre@nessiantrashh@misswonderflower@dontgetsalmonella@caram267@bickbickbarnes@sabrinasam-blog

[hanibalistic]

#67509E | HWANG HYUNJIN.

genre | fluff

word count | 1889

warning | appearances of vampire fangs, mention of blood sucking

tag | @fluffyskzclub​

note | i miss hyunjin.

hyunjin pouted like he was throwing a tantrum—well, to a certain degree, he was throwing a small tantrum.

he curled himself around the fluffy blanket that you two left on the couch from yesterday's spontaneous movie night as he pouted at you bitterly. he tried to fit his tall body within the blanket, but his long legs awkwardly jutted out of the end corner, unable to bend enough to curl himself into a tiny ball. his head poked out of the blanket he draped around his shoulder and over his head.

"must you open the curtains all the time?" he whined with furrowed brows, lightly kicking his feet against the couch. "i hate the sun, you know that!"

you rolled your eyes as you closed the curtains after being drowned in his mindless complaints about the last half an hour. you had opened them so the plants could soak in some sunlight. you even took into consideration that hyunjin would be asleep for longer like he always does, otherwise, you would have never let the sunlight into your shared apartment. but for some reason, he decided to leave his stupid coffin earlier today.

to listen to the birds' chirp perhaps. that's the kind of leisure activity a hundred-year-old would like, you bet.

the same thing happens every time you open the blinds, which is that hyunjin does not shut up about him disliking the sun and how it weakens his vampirism as opposed to it actually killing him. he would not stop until you close the curtains and turn on the lights, which often made you scoff. not only was he annoying, for a vampire who was supposed to burn under the sun, he sure does speak of it a lot.

"we will need sunlight somehow, hyunjin," you said as you turned around to glare at him. "the plants you stole, from outside, in the morning, will need sunlight."

you emphasized your words to make sure he knew of all the heinous frustrations he has caused you. the puppy pout on his face, as well as the pitying glint in his eyes, only deepened with each emphasis of your voice, his body flinching and shrinking when he could tell that you were upset with him.

watching him, there was a rush of conflict brewing like bubbles in you. you weren't sure if you felt more annoyed or endeared about the fact that hyunjin, a not quite literally ancient but old enough to feel ancient vampire, gained such comfortability from you that he was fine with throwing a childish tantrum in front of you.

he looks cute, surely! he always does. but sometimes, you genuinely could not stand another second of him whining.

"stop yelling at me! you know what the sun does to a vampire!" he retorted.

oh, god—blah, blah, blah.

"yeah, a vampire that doesn't have an accessory of the sigil," you said cleverly as you moved over to him. you yanked the blanket off his body, ignoring his protest, and you pointed at his neck. "like the necklace you never take off!"

"i only got this recently! the witch would have never sold me this if you hadn't come with me," he argued, pulling the blanket around him again. "i'm not used to the sun yet, just let me have a little more time."

you pursed your lips together, your neck turning sour at his poor mumble as you softened. he did only just get the necklace—by just, it was about two to three months ago. however, while that alone may seem like a long period, comparing that to almost a whole decade of no sunlight, perhaps he really just needed more time to adjust.

but! zooming past the streets, leaving normal people wondering where the sudden gust of wind came from, and hiding in the apartment that leaves no room for any traces of sunlight was not the way to go about it!

"how about just a little bit, hmm?" you said then, suggesting a compromise casually while you walked toward the window. "take it little by little!"

hyunjin widened his eyes in disbelief as you moved farther away from him. he shook his legs in protest, his body moving animatedly on the cushiony couch as he protested loud and clear. "hey! you better not open the curtains, [name]!"

you grabbed the hem of the curtains, your mind occupied with calculating the correct amount you would flip open. it has to be a very small amount, to a point where the sunlight could only hit one leaf of the plant on the window rail, or just one square of your marble floor. it has to be the form of sunlight that could not hurt even a fly, so you could show him just how goddamn dramatic he was being.

"[name], i swear!"

"oh, bite me," you muttered under your breath.

there was a gust of wind—a familiar kind. it blew at the tip of your hair, making it waft around, and the hem of your thin shirt also danced at the breeze of hyunjin's vampiric speed.

blinking consciously, you loosened your grip on the curtains and turned around. immediately, upon feeling the heat of his face, you flinched back and closed your eyes to settle yourself.

"jesus–what the hell, hyunjin?" you muttered with a hand on your chest before you slowly opened your eyes.

hyunjin was glaring at you; no malice, just alluring intensity. his hair fell over his face prettily. the sunlight that he didn't seem to care much for now shone a soft haze over half of his face, making him glow and glitter naturally.

"those are some reckless words to say to a vampire," he said lowly, tilting his head to the side lightly as he arched a brow, "don't you think?"

your heart pounced.

the matter of blood, or just his general nature as a vampire, like his need to feed off of human beings, has only come up once.

he mentioned it to you when he was applying to be your roommate, having a foul plan to erase your memories in case the truth was not well-received by you. he told you that he has been a vampire for a while so he knew how to control his urges, therefore you would not be in any harm, and the matter was never spoken of again.

he held up his words. he has never discussed blood with you, he has never shown any blood-thirsty behavior at all. he acted like any other roommates you have had; being too loud at night, eating cereal in the living room and eyeing your bed-head with a judgemental gaze, knocking at your door and asking if you wanted to pick a takeout place.

if he used his powers less, you would have forgotten about his vampiric side.

why was your heart thumping then? was he too pretty for your own good? or was he standing too close for familiar comfort? or perhaps both?

you scoffed, making your thoughts vanish. "you won't bite me."

hyunjin softened in a way you couldn't catch. deep within the tender wash of his eyes was a sea of wildfires he hid behind closed doors.

you were right, he won't bite you, but he wants to, especially because the smell of your blood happened to be more enticing than others because he likes you.

the art of blood sharing (in a sense) is done between lovers; consider it like leaving a love mark, of a sort. it is an act of claiming and reassurance, and hyunjin has been wanting to sink his fangs into your flesh for a while so he could leave a bite mark.

but he could never do that. that was a desire trapped in his throat, urging to be let out and to be voiced, and hyunjin would not allow it. there were too many risks of unleashing the deep-seated yearning in his chest. it lingered in his head in withdrawal, cautiously threading through his mind to keep his urges contained.

he puts his want elsewhere. his want to taste your blood, to kiss your neck, has to grow somewhere, so he has to put it somewhere, and he puts in it his daydream which that manifests gently when he is with you, and ferociously when you were away.

"i won't," he muttered under his breath, to which you relaxed at. but then he grinned, and he opened his mouth to speak first, "doesn't mean i can't, though."

you widened your eyes when black veins draped beneath his eyes and his sharp fangs appeared. it was a terrifying sight, but you were only shocked to see it than scared. rationally, you reached your hands up and slapped your palms against his cheeks, startling him.

"hmmm... " you grumbled, sounding thoughtful as you surveyed his shocked expression.

the veins under his eyes retreated and the colors returned to his face. the innocence flooded back into him, bright and boyish, and he dared not move an inch under the pressure of your gaze—beneath your touch hyunjin is but a gentle boy hapless in love.

"ah...aah...wha–" he closed his eyes slightly and opened them with furrowed brows, confused and helpless with his head slightly tilted up. his words were muffled but jot too hard to understand. "[name]–why–uhh–"

you pushed at his upper lip with your thumb and looked at his fangs, wondering why they did not retreat with the dark haze of his eyes. then, ignoring hyunjin's muffled questions, you carefully poked at the tip of his teeth—razor-sharp, but very real.

he was whining again. his hands reached out to the hem of your shirt and desperately, as well as timidly, tugged at it. meanwhile, he put on a defeated face. as much as he would with your thumbs poking his fangs, that was.

"ahh, please stop–[name], stop touching my fangs–why," he feigned a sob, shaking his head as a blush reached his cheeks, "they're just teeth."

"teeth that puncture," you commented when you let go. the way your thumbs briefly smoothed over his top lip was not lost on him.

seeing his pout, you pursed your lips with faint guilt. rubbing the back of your neck, you shrugged. "sorry about that, i just got curious."

"it's okay," he waved you off quickly, "i was curious too when i first got them."

hyunjin looked at you when you giggled under your breath; soft, hearty giggles that tried to conceal themselves without the anticipation for his vampiric hearing. gentle, funny giggles that never once questioned his problematic past. lovely, adoring giggles that are here before and after he revealed who he is to you.

he came to your apartment begging for a home where he could be himself, and you allowed him safety with you.

"alright," you said with a curt smile, "i'm going to go change, need to get grocery."

"i–i'll come with!"

you seemed shocked for a moment, accessing him like a trick question. then you relaxed and nodded with nonchalance. "yeah, whatever."

he melted despite the lackluster reaction. it was the excitement that counted. smiling to himself, he twirled and twisted his body shyly as the sun shone from outside.

yeah. hyunjin truly is but a simple boy in love with you.

[inkshadow]

HAPPY HOLIDAYS, @decadentias​ !!! WE LOVE YOU !!!

      ❝ i think at this point and with the amount of time that we've been together, you have just about everything under the sun but... i hope you like it all the same. ❞ there were a plethora of gifts under the tree for arya from just andrei alone, and even more from the rest of the family. but from him specifically, there were a multitude of skincare products in the smaller, neatly wrapped presents, accompanied by larger presents like lingerie, handbags that she'd been eyeing over the holiday season, nice bedroom and bath robes, and upgraded baking utensils for the kitchen. there was also a playful voucher in there for her to use whenever she wanted to get away from the children. andrei settled a hand at the small of her back and kissed her temple. ❝ i know that tradition is that we open christmas morning but i did not slack off this year. ❞

     ❝ and neither did i, ❞ chimed altair from the hallway, entering the room with a single tiny present. tiny, in form of something akin to a CD, but hopefully held enough sentiment for the mother of three ( plus five ). ❝ worked really hard on it, hope you like it mom. ❞ inside was a piano recording that he'd done all by himself at the studio of an original composition that he thought of upon missing home one winter evening. but specifically, it was inspired by his mother, his favorite star in the whole world.

     elsewhere, duri had prepared a lovely dinner for erin, one that he'd surprised her with when he phoned her asking if she could come over and help him rearrange a few things. obviously sounded proud and hurt on the phone, as though he was distraught not being able to move larger pieces of furniture by himself because it required two people to get it off the ground. she'd bought it, assumed that this was her chance to really rub it in his face that he couldn't do everything by himself but boy was she wrong. instead, she was greeted with a candlelit dinner exhibiting duri's softer side, a side that he only showed to nari, and in the hopes that it would make her feel somewhat... normal. human. just two fucked up, lonely people in the world enjoying each other's company when they needed it most. the spread was divine, with tenderly cooked steaks, several side dishes both american and korean, and his best wine reserve label. for her present, he'd bought her a new clutch purse and inside was a wallet sized picture of the only picture they'd ever taken together, with duri giving a rather grumpy face as she pinched his cheek to further annoy him. appropriate, he thought. ❝ i promise i didn't poison your food. merry christmas, erin. ❞

     one other pair decided to do something a bit brighter for the season, though really it was insu's attempt to get lee out of the house during her finals week. sure, perhaps it was a bit reckless and other days, insu would have absolutely left her alone but this was the only free night he had and he somehow managed to pull it off. there the couple stood after about an hour of bickering and fighting over how finals were more important than doing anything christmas related but thanks to her stubborn nature, she didn't notice where they ended up and her back was turned around to it. surrounding them were lights all over the park dedicated to holding light shows but what stood beside them was the largest christmas tree in the city, decorated with what seemed like hundreds of ornaments, wrapped around with large sashes of glittery fabric, and a large crystal star at the top. he rested hands at her shoulder and turned her around, letting her bask all of its glory as he leaned down to wrap arms around her waist, his chin at her shoulder before turning his head just enough to kiss her cheek. ❝ maybe if you stopped being huffy about school for a second, you can take a moment to just enjoy this. i know you work hard, but you're allowed to play hard too. thanks for coming out with me tonight, even though i know it pained you to do so. i love you, lee. merry christmas. ❞

[just-a-quirkless-loser]

The Days of Your Youth

Young Enji Todoroki x F! Reader

Hanahaki Trope + BNHA Universe

Words: 5.9k

Warnings: Angst, Enji is an asshole, sexual content, A bit of the redemption arc at the end, graphic descriptions of violence, Characters are 18+

Asagao flowers bloom so beautifully in Sakai; what a shame that Musutafu is four hours away from those gorgeous flowers. So, you knew whenever Enji came bearing the dark blue edged flowers with purple insides, that he had endured the voyage to get them. It was small things like this that made you fall in love with him. If only you didn’t, then maybe you'd still be alive.

The two of you met in your youth when you both attended U.A. High School, both of you having dreams of being the number one pro-hero for the next generation. You hated him at first, which is understandable seeing as he’s brash and cares for no one but himself. He always argues with you, he doesn’t hold back during training, and he has an unhealthy obsession with your childhood best friend Toshinori Yagi, known to the public as All Might.

Your quirk was strong, the ability to heal from any wound and regeneration of your limbs but, he made you feel trivial in comparison to him.

“You can take a bullet, great. How useless that would be in a battle with a villain? You can’t even inflict any damage,” his words stung. All your life, you’d been ridiculed as having a “rescue” quirk, always being told that you’d never have the chance to fight “real villains.” You wanted to prove them all wrong...although, you didn’t prove anything in the end.

Because of the nature of your quirk, you were often paired with Enji whenever it was time to spar. He’d hit you with his fire, blistering your skin with no mercy. He’d knock your teeth down your throat, making you cough blood at his feet. He’d choke you with your own support weapon, making you feel weaker than what you thought you were. He made your life a living hell. So, how did you fall in love with him?

Your love didn’t happen overnight. Actually, the relationship between the two of you changed drastically after that day. The day is clear in the archives of your mind, almost like you’re watching a movie through your own eyes.

“Are you sure you can handle Todoroki today?” you were walking to the training rooms with Toshinori Yagi. He loomed over you as he glanced anxiously at the man in question. Everyone knew about the obvious tension between the two young men however, that day was different. Something primal was lurking in Enji’s glance whenever he looked your way.

“Regeneration, remember? I’ll be fine,” you pat the large man on the back. “Plus, I don't think he could kill me even if he tried.”

“I’m just worried. He’s off today. More confrontational.”

“He’s like this every day, Toshi. He’s probably just on his man period or something.”

“...Y/N, you do now men don’t have menstrual cycles? Right?”

“Yes, Toshi, you’ve told me dozens of times. It’s just a metaphor...till I can get some proof,” he facepalms as you rub your hands together to mimic scheming hands. “He’ll have to take his clothes off eventually.”

“You’re a menace to society; I love it,” you lean against each other as you laugh, attracting the attention of your classmates. “But, seriously, I’m worried.”

“Toshi, I will be perfectly fine. What’s the worst that can happen?”

***

“More! Get up,” you were gripping the right pant leg of Enji’s training suit, trying to pull yourself up to face him again. You body begged you to stay down but your mind -your pride- forced you up. The right side of your face was scorched. One of your eyes was missing from its socket. The guns you normally wield for support were thrown elsewhere, leaving you vulnerable to his onslaught. “You’re pathetic. U.A. isn’t meant for the weak. You don’t belong here with us.”

“You don’t get to tell me where I belong,” you charge to attack, switching your technique at the last minute so you could throw a hard jab to his abdomen. He countered with raising both of his fists above his head in a gorilla fashion and slammed them down on your spine, once again taking you to the mat. But, this time you heard a crack from your spine.

“I don’t know why you waste my time. Sensei just needs to let Yagi and I fight,” you laid at his feet paralyzed. However, the inability to move doesn’t hinder your ability to speak.

“Awww, Todoroki, you miss your boyfriend? I knew you had a hard on for him,” and, while you felt there was nothing wrong with being homosexual, you knew Todoroki was a traditional man who wouldn’t want a rumor like that to be spread. You snicker at his silence. “Must be true if you haven’t denied it.”

Words are meaningless if he can show you with his actions. He wastes no time dropping to his knees so he can lean over you, pushing you into your back as he slaps your face from side to side.

“You,” smack. “Have,” smack. “Issues,” smack.

“ENJI,” you hear Yagi yell in the background as rushes in to save you from your beating. Toshinori’s strong hands pull Todoroki up by the scruff of his neck, looking at the bloody mess your body has come to be, checking to see the rise and fall of your chest before he deals with the man he’s holding. “You could have killed her!”

“She can’t die,” to prove his point, Enji encircles your form with a ring of Fire, the smoke clogging your lungs as your skin is barely holding its form. However, you don’t feel the familiar tingling sensation of your regeneration.

“It doesn’t matter if she can’t die. She’s still human!”

“I’m making her stronger.”

“You’re abusing her,” they both glance down to see that you’ve stopped twitching. You look like you’ve been hit by a land mine: body bloodied, bones exposed, missing limbs. The smoke has cover you in a fine layer of soot, the particles of your own flesh smothered in your nose. “Fuck, Y/N? Y/N?! ANSWER ME! PLEASE! SENSEI!”

There’s only a few things you can recollect clearly. You were rushed to the hospital and you could hear the urgency in Yagi’s voice. If you closed your eyes long enough, you could still see your Sensei’s face looming over yours as he tried to get your attention. The smell of Enji still invades your nose whenever you remember how he sat next to you in the ambulance. You think he felt guilty for letting his desire to measure up to Yagi blind him once again. It’s just a shame that you had to be beat close to death’s door for him to feel remorseful.

You awoke to an obnoxious beeping to your left, a throbbing pain in you head, and a nuisance fire wielder to your right (you had to do a double take to make sure he didn’t beat the sense out of you).

“You’re awake.”

“No thanks to you,” he winces.

“Let’s just be thankful you’re alive.”

“Unfortunately.”

“That wasn’t a funny joke.”

“Who said it was a joke?” you spot Asagao flowers on your bedside. “Who brought the flowers?”

“I did.”

You move to sit up but hiss and grab your side. “Welp, that’s new.”

“Take it easy,” Enji rises and gingerly presses you back into the bed.

“You expect me to believe you spent eight flowers just to bring me flowers?”

“Yagi told me they’re your favorite. I figured it’d be a good way to start amending for what I’ve done.”

“You almost killed me. All because you have a superiority complex that I’ve done nothing to fuel. And, you call yourself a future hero?” you snort. “Oh, wait, let me correct myself, you call yourself the future NUMBER ONE hero!?” you turn to face him so he can’t escape your eyes. “Everyone’s right about what they say about you. You’d do anything if it meant you’d have a chance at facing Toshinori. You don’t care how many people get hurt in the crossfire. As long as you win this competition Toshinori doesn’t even know he’s a part of,” you laugh at the irony.

“What part of ‘I'm sorry’ do you not understand?” Enji growls as he pushes your body into the hospital bed, face coming to stare you down.

“What part of ‘you almost killed me’ do you not understand?” you return his energy with a sneer. “You don’t intimidate me; I’m not some bitch that will tuck her tail and run just because you try to throw a hissy fit.”

“You’re playing with the wrong person, little girl,” he fingers caress the side of your cheek.

‘Once again, this dude has issues.’

“I’m definitely playing with the right person. You need someone to knock you down a few pegs,” and this was when the doctor came to check on your condition, catching Enji and yourself so close that your foreheads were touching. His hands were parted on the sides of you as he puffed out some smoke through his nose.

“Sorry, lovebirds. I should’ve knocked. I’m Doctor Sugo and I have a few questions,” you nod in comprehension.

“Fire them off,” you intentionally use those words to make Enji tense. After years of verbal, physical, and psychological abuse, this was your opportunity to exact your revenge.

“You came in with extensive burns, missing limbs, choking around your neck, blackened lungs, and, it looked as though you died from asphyxiation. Your sensei notified us of your quirk, however, your behavior was reckless and had unforeseen consequences. I doubt you burned yourself alive. Did someone try to kill you?” this was your chance to end Todoroki’s chance of being a hero and end this silly game he’s created in his mind. It would’ve been easy.

“No, we were sparring and it got intense. Enji wanted to stop but I’ve been pushing my quirk limits to the maximum with the coming of our graduation. He lost control of his quirk,” you’ve never been the type to do things the easy way. “I apologize for the trouble my actions have caused.”

“Are you sure this wasn’t a young-domestic abuse situation?” he eyes Enji’s burly frame.

“No, Enji would never hurt me,” to prove your point, you intertwine your fingers with his and kiss the back of his hand, maintaining eye-contact with him. He blew more puffs of smoke into your face.

“In that case, I’ll notify your Sensei of what happened. Just let me check your vitals and I’ll leave the two of you to talk,” the whole time the doctor was in the room, Enji kept blowing smoke. You figured it was something he did when he was uncomfortable but, you couldn't be sure this was the first time you witnessed something like that in person. You both waited a couple of seconds after the doctor left before you continued the actual conversation.

“What the fuck was that?”

“That’s the first time I’ve ever heard you cuss...Do it again,” he gives you a pointed look.

“Answer the question.”

“For someone that’s ranked at the top of your class, you’re pretty dense. It’s simple; I’m blackmailing you.”

“Why?”

“Because, you need to be held accountable for your actions and, selfishly, I want to make your life a living hell. It wouldn’t be practical to let a strong quirk like yours to be sent to prison for attempted murder; you’re useful to the world and there’s no way I can’t acknowledge that you’d be formidable if you chose to become a villain due to my inability to keep my emotions in check,” he just stares. You spot Toshinori in the door frame and wave. “Toshi! Come in. I was just explaining to Enji what’s going to happen to him from now on.”

“Y/N,” he said in a warning tone. “Are you sure this is a good idea. He tried to kill you.”

“Shut it, Toshi. You’re too loud,” you roll your eyes. “Yes, I’m sure. This is perfect.”

And, it was perfect. Graduating U.A. High felt unreal at times; it felt even more bizarre as you managed to become a pro-hero alongside your friend, Toshinori, and your personal butler, Enji. Yep, he became your butler as a way to repent for his actions (his words, not yours) and you actually found his company enjoyable when he wasn’t engrossed with beating Yagi. He’s dedicated to the tasks you give him, even if they’re demeaning like walking around with a collar (the press had a field day with that one) or task oriented (like making you fresh coffee whenever you please).

“ENJIIIIIIII,” you’ve taken to bothering him immensely. “Put on this skirt.”

“Y/N, I’m not putting on that skirt. It would tarnish my image.”

“Hm, guess I’ll have to call Sensei. He'd probably believe me if I said you attacked me again. I mean, I’m just an innocent woman. I could just say I was scared the first time,” and that’s how Enji Todoroki was seen wearing a skirt for training multiple times. In all fairness, he looked like a menacing kitten. And, you've grown to like him. Maybe, it was his guilt for almost murdering you but, he found himself showing you tenderness as well. He just couldn't hate you no matter what you did.

“You idiot. I told you not to jump in front of me,” he was carrying your limp body in his arms as though you were his bride. Holding close to his heart, he could feel the warmth of your breath on his chest.

“Why wouldn’t I? I can’t have you dying on me yet. I haven’t gotten you to dress in drag yet,” blood spills from your ears as you blank out of consciousness. There were plenty of times you protected Enji from a villains attack and each time you told yourself you did it because you wanted to continue to blackmail him to be by your side. But, you just wanted him to yourself.

As the years roll on, you find yourself getting closer and closer to him, just barely missing his flames. You became used to patrolling with him as the Pro-Hero ‘Zombie.’ You enjoy going to Sakai in search of the perfect flowers. You treasure being able to see him every day. But, it’s not all peaches and cream.

“Enji, get over it. Toshi worked hard to be first,” you’re arguing again. Two years after the incident and he still hasn’t let go of his yearning to be the best. While sometimes you want to admire his hard work, you can’t help but question his motives. He’s lost the very reason he wanted to become a hero.

“Toshi just leaves to go to America, didn’t tell you, comes back to climb the ranks of the hero charts, and you’re just okay with that? Meanwhile, you lose your mind on me after I don’t answer your call on the first few rings?” he’s sitting on your bed, his jogging pants hanging down dangerously low on his navel, a few red hairs peeking at you. You lick your lips.

“I’m not saying what he did was okay but, you’re blowing this out of proportion. You’re twenty years old. You need to let go of this foolish rivalry,” you throw your legs over his lap. “It’s not healthy.”

“I’m not having this argument with you again. You always take his side,” you slap his chest, gulping at the strong pecs. You wonder how’d they feel bearing down on your back as he-

“Y/N, are you listening?”

“Flamehead, you know I don’t listen to dumb shit,” he puffs out smoke in irritation. “But, I’m not taking his side. I just think we’re getting too old for this.”

“That’s what you always say,” and you laid there with him watching t.v. The conversation ends like it always does but, you can tell Enji isn’t upset with you. It’s the same routine you always follow whenever he wants to talk about Toshinori’s “false achievements.”

Somehow, you end up cuddled into his chest, head pressed firmly into his neck as you feel the warmness of his pulse move underneath you. His arms keep you against him, caging your legs around his hips (it takes a lot to keep your mind from wandering off).

His fingers play with the exposed skin of your back, leaving scorching trails around his fingertips.

“Are you hungry? I still can cook-” Enji’s phone goes off. He gets up and softly pushes you to the side, answering his phone as he absentmindedly rubs your hair. He’s soon getting up to get his things, pulling on his hoodie and ending the call, staring at the phone for a few seconds.

“Who has you up and in a hurry?” you’re kneeling at the edge of the bed, his jacket in your fist to keep him from leaving.

“My finacé’s family.”

‘Fiancé?’

“Fiancé? Who is she?”

“I don’t know yet. All I know is that her quirk is the perfect compliment to mine, which is the only thing that I need,” he’s pulling away. You’re speechless. Is-Is this jealousy? Is this bubbling fury jealousy? Is this small pain jealousy? Is this mind-numbing sensation jealousy? You can't be jealous. Not of some woman you don’t even know. “I have to go. I need to get ready to meet her?”

“B-But, you don’t even know her!”

“I know she’ll ensure that I beat All Might,” so, that's what this was about. Another last ditch effort to win something with no prize. You should’ve known those touches meant nothing but, how could you when they felt so tender? “Plus, you shouldn’t care. Soon, we’d both have to leave and start our own families; this would have had to happen eventually.”

“You don’t love her. You just want to beat him,” you slump down, your calves touching the back of your thighs as you feel a stirring in your chest. “I just don’t want you to do anything you’ll regret when you’re older.”

“That’s not your concern. I’ve got to go.”

You cough up an Asagao flower, staring at it with trepidation.

‘Oh shit.’

The next time you see him is two weeks later. His hair is still styled upwards, his scowl has deepened making him look older than what he really is, his eyes darker than before. Both of you sit one a rooftop, starting over Musutafu. His body is curled in on itself, the flames of his suit keeping you warm in the brisk fall night. Part of his arm is slung over your shoulder, drawing you into his side.

“Have you ever been in love, Enji?” you see him puff out a few smoke clouds, a telltale sign that you've either made him embarrassed or uncomfortable. “Like, real love? The type of love that doesn’t go away no matter how much you try to kill it?”

“You know I don’t have time for sentiments like that,” he looks at your wistful expression, wondering to himself how you manage to look even more breathtaking than the last time he saw you.

“But, what if you could fall in love? What if things like time and being a hero didn’t matter? Wouldn't you want that?”

“No, there’s no girl good enough for me or my love,” such sweet lies sound true coming from him and that burns you more than his fire ever has.

“What about marriage? Kids?”

“You already know I have an arranged quirk marriage. I met her and she is adequate enough to give me a child fit to be the number one hero of the new generation.”

“Jeez, you sound like you’re quoting a business proposal.”

“It is business,” he sounds like he’s scolding you for not knowing this. You feel your stomach fill with more flowers and you feel some crawling up your throat. It’s suffocating you but, you chalk that up to your nerves bothering you. “I’m guessing you brought this up because you think you’re ‘in love.’ “

“I know I am,” you stop your sentence to cough into your arm, catching a few Asagao flowers in your elbow. So, this is how you’re going to die? Dying from a disease that even your regeneration can’t save you from? Choking on flowers because Enji can’t reciprocate your feelings? “As you can see, it’s one sided.”

“Leave them alone. Feelings go away,” but, they didn’t. It just got worse and worse and worse. Because, as much as you knew you should leave Enji, you just couldn’t. Your heart longed for him. Your heart belonged to him. And, Toshinori couldn't understand why.

“Y/N, please, I don’t understand why you'd die for someone that wants nothing to do with you,” Toshinori chided. “Get the surgery. They can take the feelings out. I’ll be right by your side to help you.”

“You’d never understand, Toshi. You'd never understand waking up every morning, wanting someone so bad you have no motivation to do anything but lay in your own tears. I’d rather die loving him than pretend I never felt these feelings at all.”

“But, why?”

“Because, he’s hurt me so much; this is my last ‘fuck you’ to him. Because, I know one day he’ll change. One day, he'll want to see me and I'll be dead. I want him to feel the same pain that I feel now. He needs to feel my rage, he needs to feel my abandon. HE NEEDS TO FEEL ME!”

“Y/N, I’ve already lost Nana. I can’t lose you too.”

“I love you, Toshinori Yagi. Be great for me,” and that’s the last thing you ever said to your childhood best friend.

***

When you opened the door, Enji wasn’t expecting to see you only in a long shirt, tuffets of a flower stuffed in your mouth.

“What the fuck, Y/N? You look like shit. You can’t open the door like that,” he comes in and you immediately cling to him.

“I love you.”

“What?”

“I’m in love with you Enji.”

“You can’t be.”

“But, I am,” you hold one of your saliva covered flowers to his heart. Your eyes are tired and barely stay open but you can't take your eyes off of him. “This is for you. All of them are for you. Loving you is killing me,” you laugh at the irony. Who would’ve thought Enji would end up killing you anyway?

“Then, stop,” Enji rips the flower from your fingers and throws it to the side. You dive for the flower, causing him to follow you down to your floor. “Let it go.”

“I can’t. It’s all I have right now,” you’re sobbing while retching up flowers. His arms encase you, almost like he’s trying to keep you from falling apart. “I can’t just let go. I can’t just stop loving you, Enji.”

He doesn’t really say anything to you. Maybe, he’s too stunned or maybe he’s too afraid he’ll say the wrong thing but, he finds that it’s better to just hold you.

“Enji, could you do something for me?”

“Anything.”

“Could you make love to me?” he can’t deny you your wish with how pitiful you look. So, he scoops you up in his arms and takes you to your bedroom, heart pumping hard at what he’s about to do. He’s getting married in a week yet, he’s here about to give his body to you.

Laying your body down on the bed, he watches as your covers fan around your head like a halo and, for a moment, he wonders if that’s what you would look like as an angel. Ethereal and tired. The air in the room is growing hotter as he sweats, nervous to strip you down. He’s no stranger to sex but, this is the first time he’s ever focused on someone else’s pleasure.

“Just, lay there.”

“What the fuck else am I going to do? Run off,” he chuckles. Leave it to you to find some comedy in your weakest moments. He starts with stripping you of your long shirt -actually, his shirt that had gone missing the last time he stayed at your house- and stares at your body, naked and exposed to the air.

He takes a few minutes to take in your beauty, ghosting over your skin as he watches you quiver in anticipation. Your eyes are blown and a petal is on your cheek, reminding him of what had happened to you. Your hands wrap around his forearm as you silently beg him to touch you.

“Always have been needy,” when he kisses you, it makes your toes curl from his smokey breath. Envisioning his taste held no comparison to what he really was. It’s like he was breathing his smoke into your lungs, making sweat bead on your skin.

His hand grasps your neck and you moan at the warmth that he gives you, toes curling at the pressure he puts on your throat. The flowers slide down your esophagus, allowing some of your essence to mix with his. He’s weighing you down into your mattress as he’s ripping off his shirt, buttons flying everywhere as he tries to shimmy out of his pants. His kisses trail down the column of your neck and he’s groaning at the way you whine. Your body reacts so wonderfully to his touch.

“You should have told me sooner; you could’ve had all of my cock before this,” you giggle at his attempt of dirty talk. It’s weird to have the proper and correct Enji speaking naughty in your ear. “Damnit, woman, will you stop laughing? I’m trying to be romantic.”

“I can’t help it. You're like Recovery Girl whenever she tries to be cool.”

“Why did you have to bring her up?” he drops his head on your navel. “Are you trying to kill my erection?”

You did a mouth zipping motion and laid your hands on his shoulders, looking down your body to catch him staring at you as he licked below your belly button. The sensation of his textured tongue against your smooth skin is almost enough to send you into your orgasm. He brings his arms up to grab your breasts in his hands as he continues to slide down to your slit. Your smaller body is completely open to him as he tongues your small clit, keeping your legs spread around your head.

“Enjiiiiii, please,” you beg for your release. The inner sadist inside of Enji preens as you beg, his mind thinking you look beautiful at his mercy with a few tears in your eyes. He plunges his tongue inside your hole, only shallowly fucking your tight hole. He brings one of his hands beside his mouth, which is an awkward position for his large frame, and pushes his finger inside your tightness till he’s met with some resistance. You’re met with wide eyes.

“You didn’t tell me you were a virgin.”

“You never asked.”

“I’m serious, Y/N. If I didn’t find out, were you just going to let me pound into you,” he smacks your thigh as a way to punish you.

“As long as it’s you, I’d let you use me like a doll,” the words incite a new type of fire in Enji’s body. He gets hotter as he enjoys the words of someone that’s completely submitted to his control.

“Then, I’ll use you till I can’t use you anymore,” he places one last kiss to your hole and slivers up your body. Everything about this moment is perfect for you; the man you love is hovering above you as he looks at you with adoration and desire.

“Are you ready?” His forehead is leaned on yours as he wavers on top of you, his cock kissing the entrance of your folds. You can’t speak due to the flowers that are lodged in your throat, so you nod as you stare into his eyes. For the first time, you can feel the love he has for you. If only this moment could last forever for you as it would for him.

The first few moments of him stretching you make you whimper in his ear, your nails cutting into his back as you try to ground yourself in the moment. He tries to push into you at a slow pace, bottoming out and sitting there for you to adjust. Your pussy clenches him like a vice, testing his self control as he wants to grab you by your waist and use you like a fuck doll.

It’s hard not to scream when he pulls back slightly and snaps his hips into your own. Both of you are breathing into each other's face as he fucks you with slow, deep thrusts, pulling your hips to meet his thrusts in an angle.

“Such a problematic woman. Couldn’t just tell me you loved me,” you whine as he sits up on his knees and begins to fuck you with fevor. His cock rubs against that spongy spot in your pussy, pushing you toward your first orgasm. “Such a bad girl. I didn’t tell you to cum yet.”

“Enjiiii please fuck please I’ll be good for you,” he smiled through the pleasure that rips through him and pulled out of you to lay on his side behind you. He wasted no time lifting one of your legs and pushed into your heat, fucking you deeper in this position. He could now see the way you try to push your hips against his, fucking you with a patronizing smile.

“Such a horny girl,” you moan into your hands as you try to hide yourself from his gaze but he rips your arms away from your face, forcing you to scream for him. He makes it a point to fuck you harder as he’s addicted to your beautiful voice. “Scream for me little girl.”

“Dadddyyy gonna cum again,” your tearing u again as he keeps brutalizing your pussy.

“Oh I’m daddy now,” he’s grunting as he feels you clench again. You give him no answer as you cum once again, this time pulling him into his orgasm as you feel him spurt deep in your womb. But, even though he cums, he doesn’t stop. He’s determined to fuck you into oblivion.

“I’m not done with you, keep cumming in my cock,” your toes keep curling as you try to push away from him. However, that makes him wrap his arms around your shoulders and slam you down on his cock, keeping your legs spread as he fucks you so hard some of his cum is dribbling down the side of his cock. You’re shaking hard as your pleasure blinds you, the pressure in your abdomen building in a different way.

“Fuuuuckkk Enjiii, I-I- love you,” clear liquid squirts from your pussy as he slows down his thrusts. You lay there in your juices with his cum splurging out of you once he pulls out of you completely. He leaves you there as he runs you a bath, leaving you to think about what just happened.

He didn’t say he loved you back but, you hoped he would. With gentle hands, he put you into your tub, softly rubbing your hair like he had done many times.

“Y/N, we need to talk,” you smiled over at him. His pants were pulled back on his hips but he couldn’t meet your eyes. “You know I care for you and you know I wouldn’t want to hurt you but, you need to get the surgery. I can’t just love you the way you love me and, I don’t want you to die because of that. I’ll pay for the surgery. I’ll pay for you a new apartment and everything. I’ll even-” you droned him out.

“You know,” you shiver in the warm water as you start to tear up. You hacked up flowers and continued with a shaky voice. “I thought that having sex with you and telling you would make it go away. I thought that maybe, just maybe, I meant more to you than what I thought. I’m such a dumbass. You’ll never love me; you’ll never love anyone but yourself. Why can’t you just be a man and tell me I’m nothing to you compared to whatever the fuck you have with Toshinori? IT’S BEEN YEARSSSS,” you croak out as you sob, your heart hurting. “AND, YOU HAVEN’T CHANGED AT ALL. You’re still the Enji Todoroki that tried to kill me. I just tricked myself into thinking that you were a different person.”

“Y/N-

“Get out,” you turn to the shower wall, too heartbroken to stomach the sight of him.

“Y/N, just listen to-”

“GET OUT,” he goes silent as he looks back at you from the door frame. He wants to say something but, the thought of ruining his future keeps him silent. He leaves with a look of pity for you.

“I’ll leave money for the surgery on the table by your bed,” he calls before he leaves, the door slamming pushing you to your last limit.

And, he left you there to you die in your bathtub alone, body worn from the sex you had with the man that you knew you couldn’t have emotionally. Your flowers soaked up the water as they kept falling, your eyes glued on one of the bruises he left on your leg. It’s too painful to try to move, so you lie there as your quirk does nothing against the disease. Getting the surgery would have saved you but, your body and mind would still remember the pain of your first and last love.

Per your request, Toshinori has your body cremated after they perform the autopsy. The young hero, grieving the loss of his best friend, doesn’t contact Enji to inform him of your timely death. He’s pained that he’ll never see you smile or hear your jokes or call your name and hear you respond. You're gone and part of him feels like he’s the blame. He can’t help but think that things would have turned out differently if he told Enji that he never cared about being the number one hero.

As for Enji, he doesn’t look back as he goes on to have his family. He goes on to marry his wife that he’d always compare to you (her hair wasn’t vibrant as yours, her voice wasn’t as smooth as yours, her eyes don’t set him ablaze like yours did). He goes on to have his kids and he wonders what they would look like if they came from your womb. He goes on to be the number one Pro-hero yet, he doesn’t feel like he’s won anything. He goes on to have a decent relationship with Toshinori yet, he feels as though he’s missing something -someone-.

“Toshinori, do you have Y/N’s number?” he called Toshinori one day, tired of letting his pride get the best of him. He’d grovel at your feet, stay by your side, sleep at your doorstep till you find it to forgive him.

“Enji, she’s dead.”

And, he sits in his house alone. His family has left him, their bonds slowly resurrecting from the dead but still fragile. His career being the only thing he has left, slowly showed him how truly unprofilling his life has been. His love for you, eating away at his heart. Why did he have to be better than Toshinori? Why couldn’t he tell you how much he loved you? Why did he let the both of you waste the days of your youth?

He coughs a single Asagao flower, the process of his unrequited love beginning. Because, let’s face it, how can you return his love if you’re dead?

——————————————————————————-

Tag List💕💕

@orokayagi @sakurashortstack @sinclairsamess

[tinyboxxtink]

Build Me Up Buttercup *Part 6*

Okay this may be my favorite chapter so far. Actually screw it, it most DEFINITELY IS. 

NOTE: If you have never heard the song “Sparks Fly” by Taylor Swift, go listen to it NOW. Before you read this. And actually, you know what just listen to it while reading it, trust me.

If you need to catch up:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 7

Tag List: @wanniiieeee

“Uh, watcha doin’ there, detective?”

Sonny’s voice immediately brought you back down to earth. Your head bolted upright and you sprang away from Barba like he was suddenly on fire.

“What? Oh, nothing. What? You know I’m just, tired, you know-- long day,”

Words spilled out of your mouth quicker than you could think of them. God how embarrassing! Why would you even think of making a move on your ADA? In front of everyone?!

Was it a move though? I mean really. Did he have to just call it out like that? You had to get out of that booth.

“Y’know what actually I am going to run to the ladies room, that Hurricane really went right through me! Like a hurricane!” Again, the word vomit would not stop. You let out a pained awkward laugh and bolted from the table.

--

“REALLY, Caris?” Rafael gave Carisi a look that could kill him right there in the booth.

“What? I just---OW! Amanda, that hurt!” Sonny rubbed his thigh and looked at Amanda who was shaking her head.

--

Meanwhile, in the bathroom, you were beating yourself up in the mirror.

“What is WRONG with you?!”

You were yelling at your reflection, totally normal.

“Ugh…” you sighed, splashing water on your face and cupping your hands around your neck. You needed to wash this day OFF already.

Wait...that gave you an idea.

You peeked out of the bathroom to see everyone still at your table, so while they weren’t paying attention you made a mad dash out of the bar and to your car in the parking lot. You popped your trunk and began throwing things around.

“Please please please please…” You begged no one in particular, shoving empty water bottles and coupons onto the pavement.

“A ha! Yes!” you exclaimed in triumph.

You would never admit it, but you basically lived in your car sometimes. You probably had half your closet in here.

You pulled out a pair of hip hugger jeans and a t-shirt; your lucky t-shirt, to be precise.

Yes maybe it was stupid to have “lucky” items at your age, but you didn’t care. You and this t-shirt had been through some STUFF, and came out the other side together. If anything could turn this night around, it could. Sure it was a TAD too tight from so many washes, the writing on it was barely visible, and it may have had a tear or two, but you had altered it to make the damage look fashionable. At least, you thought so.

You knelt behind your car, trying to change discreetly. You kept a careful watch out, God knows the squad did NOT need another case right now. You tossed your blazer and dress shirt back into the trunk, slipped off your skirt and pulled on the jeans and t-shirt as quickly as you could, then you slammed the trunk shut and walked over to the driver’s side view mirror.

“Not bad; not bad at all detective,” you smirked at your reflection before locking your car and running back inside.

As you approached your table, you saw Barba notice you, and then NOTICE, you. His eyes grew and his mouth slightly opened. Okay so maybe sometimes you went a little overboard on trying to look “professional” around your squad-- this was probably the first time you even alluded to having chesticles.

“I’m sorry sweetie have you seen our co-worker?” Amanda asked jokingly.

“What? I needed to get this day off of me, you know?”

“Yes, off indeed,” Oliva raised her eyebrows.

“What is it too much? Should I change back?”

“NO” All three men responded in unison, then quickly looked around elsewhere like nothing happened.

“You’re fine,” Fin assured you.

“Yes you are,” Carisi blurted.

“REALLY Carisi?!” Barba almost slapped him across the table.

“What? I didn’t mean it like--” Sonny protested while pleading with a very offended Amanda. They started having their own little squabble as Barba scooted closer to you.

“You really do look nice,” He smiled.

“...In jeans and a t-shirt? Thanks,” You gave a smile back while you felt your face blushing.

“No, I mean, happier. I like seeing happy on you,” He smiled even more, fidgeting like he wanted to touch you but didn’t want foghorn Sonny going off again.

“OH. Um, yeah thanks. I like seeing you happy too, counselor,”  Your face was a full on skillet, you could fry an egg on them from the heat they radiated. You had to look anywhere else but his eyes or you might do something Carisi would DEFINITELY have something to say about.

“Ooooh! You know what else I do when I wanna get the taste of a bad day out of my mouth?” You changed the subject lightening quick as soon as you saw the stage across the room.

“Shots?” Amanda asked.

“Well, yeah obviously but--”

“AMBER did you hear that? Another round of shots!”

“DANCE,” you completely ignored Amanda’s antics. “I dance it out!” You pointed over to a small band who was testing sound equipment, obviously about to start a show.

“...Is she serious?” Fin muttered to Olivia.

“Is she drunk off ONE Hurricane?” Carisi raised his eyebrow.

“No come on-- Ugh! You guys cannot be that old.” you groaned.

“We might be,” Olivia half laughed.

“Too old to dance?!” You scoffed.

“In a room full of people, to country music? I don’t even have to be old to not wanna do that honey,” Fin put his hands up.

As they were all expressing their objections and insults, a scheme began running through your brain. Your eyes went from the band--- 2 guitarists, a drummer and a girl lead singer-- perfect. Your eyes then turned back towards Barba, who actually hadn’t protested your dance it out idea. PERFECT.

“Well I’m not old yet, I’m gonna dance it out to Tay Tay Swift!” You stuck your tongue out at the group and ran over to the band. The squad exchanged looks of disbelief while they watched you have a conversation with the band, and soon came running back over.

“Alright hey ya’ll we are Cactus Flower, how we feelin tonight?”

Scattered applause and drunken cheers answered her.

“Great...well, for our first song we’ve actually got a request, so this one is for you detective,” she smiled as the music started

It was relatively slow, so a few couples slowly began congregating on the dance floor. Other young girls squealed and formed a dance circle in a corner. Alright, it’s now or never, detective.

You started off dancing by yourself, just vibing to the song. You eyed everyone in your party, daring them to join you.

The way you move is like a full on rainstorm

And I'm a house of cards

You're the kind of reckless

That should send me running

But I kinda know that I won't get far

“Oh come on guys, you’re really gonna make me stand here looking like a moron?”

And you stood there in front of me

Just close enough to touch

Close enough to hope you couldn't see

What I was thinking of

“Baby girl, you're doin that all on your own!” Finn laughed.

You saw the thoughts mulling in Barba’s mind, glancing from you to the group and back to you again. Finally, to your delight, he shook his head and stood up.

Drop everything now

Meet me in the pouring rain

Kiss me on the sidewalk

Take away the pain

'Cause I see sparks fly

Whenever you smile

“You guys are cruel,” He remarked, walking right up to you.

“Can I have this dance?”

PERFECT.

He took your hand and spun you, you clumsily fell into his chest and looked into his eyes with a smile JUST as the song hit your target.

You glanced over to see the squad’s collective jaws on the floor.

Get me with those green eyes

Baby, as the lights go down

Give me something that'll haunt me

When you're not around

'Cause I see sparks fly

Whenever you smile

“....You know, my eyes are green.” he raised an eyebrow.

“Really? Huh. Go figure,” you batted your eyes innocently.

You were downright shocked that Rafael had not run screaming from the very obvious message of the song, and even more shocked the squad was allowing it. But you were not tempting anybody or anything by questioning it; you were just going to enjoy this dance, this moment.

My mind forgets to remind me

You're a bad idea

You touch me once and it's really something

You find I'm even better than you imagined I would be

I'm on my guard for the rest of the world

But with you I know it's no good

And I could wait patiently but

I really wish you would

You both continued to dance in silence, Rafael now listening very intently to every word of the song, and grinning more and more as it went on.

Drop everything now

Meet me in the pouring rain

Kiss me on the sidewalk

Take away the pain

'Cause I see sparks fly

Whenever you smile

Rafael spun you around in a big dramatic flourish, as he commented “I do have a gorgeous smile, don’t I?”

Get me with those green eyes

Baby, as the lights go down

Give me something that'll haunt me

When you're not around

'Cause I see sparks fly

Whenever you smile

“What? Hm? Can’t hear you,” You pretended you were too far away, then smirked when you twirled back into his torso.

“Mmmhmm,”

The song reached it’s interlude, the beat banging every word emphatically. Rafael pulled your arms up around his neck, just as the last chorus went into the soft breakdown.

I run my fingers through your hair

And watch the lights go wild

Just keep on keeping your eyes on me

It's just wrong enough to make it feel right

And lead me up the staircase

Won't you whisper soft and slow?

I'm captivated by you, baby, like a firework show

You looked into those green eyes, your head swimming. 24 hours ago this man was just your co-worker, a coffee snob ADA. And now, you were both in each other’s arms and staring at each other’s lips-- you closed your eyes as the song played.

Drop everything now

Meet me in the pouring rain

Kiss me on the sidewalk

“I um, I’m really sorry Y/N. I um...I need to go. To the...bathroom. I’m sorry just...I’m sorry,”

Take away the pain

'Cause I see sparks fly

Whenever you smile….

You watch Rafael practically bolt off the dance floor and into the men’s room as you stood there alone while the song finished.

Get me with those green eyes

Baby, as the lights go down

Give me something that'll haunt me

When you're not around

'Cause I see sparks fly

Whenever you smile

What had just happened?

[dinodina]

I'm sorry in advance. The Valentine's Day asks. #10 and janto

#10 - Ouch!  "I don't even want to hear about Valentine's Day, okay? The love of my life is dead."

From this.

Read here on ao3.

Sometimes, Jack saw Ianto with a cup of takeout coffee. A small paper cup, with "John" written on the side for some reason, and the look of bliss on Ianto's face whenever he took a sip was beautiful. It wasn't quite the satisfaction of drinking his own coffee—which was the best Jack had ever had, and he'd lived for a while—and it didn't happen often because Ianto preferred to sleep in and make his own cup at the Hub rather than stop by wherever he bought the coffee, but it was fantastic. It reminded Jack that Ianto had slivers of a life outside Torchwood.

As they got closer, Jack got to see those slivers. The kitschy Star Wars duvet Ianto kept in his linen closet and pretended he didn't take out. The take-out menus and receipts with phone numbers scrawled on them, because Ianto managed to endear himself to everyone he met. They didn't go out much, but Ianto, for all his awkwardness and inability to tell when he talked too much or too little, always attracted as many looks as Jack. Ianto never called his admirers and only smiled at them from afar when they tried to hit on him.

Jack felt as triumphant as Ianto did when they went home together after one of their dates. He hadn't done the dating scene for a long time, and it wasn't as scary as he'd feared.

Sure, Ianto was a Torchwood agent, which considerably lowered his already short life expectancy, and he was reckless on top of that. And sure, he was young and scared of intimacy, and it was so, so easy to fall into the trap of miscommunication—which Jack was just as guilty of—but at the end of the day, they fit together well.

Figuring out the intricacies of twenty-first century dating was fun to Jack. There had always been trips to the cinema and the museum, and simple restaurant dates as well, but just enough had changed over the years that he wasn't sure what to expect. Was it still smooth to yawn and place your arm over your partner's shoulder?

It worked on Ianto.

Jack got sappy, sometimes. He had lost a full five minutes of the day to smiling when Ianto had flowers delivered for him this morning.

Flowers! It seemed so out of Ianto's normal behavior, Jack didn't know what to think. He was planning a dinner for later, complete with candles and a bouquet of red roses to decorate the table. It was Valentine's Day. That was something normal couples did. And they weren't all the way normal, but they were definitely a couple, and Torchwood could only derail the time of the celebration, not the spirit of it.

Which was exactly what happened. The Rift spit out malfunctioning tech that turned half of Cardiff pink, then rogue Weevils came out of the sewers into the madness and started chasing civilians. A second opening of the Rift cut the functioning of all alien technology in Cardiff, making the Hub work on backup backup generators, and cutting off all communications in the field.

Jack trusted his team. Not only were they all capable and trained, but they thought well on their feet and worked well together. They had all been vetted and chosen by Jack himself—of course he trusted them. Not with his life, because that counted for very little in the long run, but with each other's.

And still, when they lost contact, Jack felt a chill run through him and ever letting them near Torchwood.

Jack had no one to look over at and exchange a terrified look with, and while that made him feel alone, it also reassured him—the team was paired up elsewhere, together if not safe.

At the end, when the crisis was over and Jack made his way to the Hub, hoping everyone else had made it out alright, he thought of contingencies. They'd gotten complacent, using alien tech for communication without considering an event like today's. No cell phones, no radios… The first thing he'd do, Jack decided, was give them a way to stay in touch if something like this ever happened again.

Jack didn't imagine what the Hub looked like before he got there, only knowing that it would be in disarray, but when he entered, it was much worse. Some things were knocked over, thrown from their places when the Rift energy surge caused them to stop working—one of Tosh's computers was shattered on the floor by her workstation—and the Hub was dark, the generator only powering essential tech. jack heard footsteps and muffled voices, but couldn't discern who it was; a flashlight moved in the distance, faint and almost peaceful—

"Fuck!"

It was Torchwood and far from peaceful, and yet the voice was like music to Jack's ears. He picked up his pace. "Ianto!"

"Figures," grumbled another voice—

"Owen!"

Jack skidded to a halt as Gwen and Tosh came into view. Their hair was disheveled and Tosh had a dash of dirt on one cheek, but they were all in one piece.

Gwen ran forward with a quick hug. "We couldn't get in touch with you—"

"So we figured you'd come back here," Tosh finished.

Jack nodded. "That's good. I wouldn't want you on the streets right now."

Gwen rolled her eyes but didn't otherwise comment. Jack looked past her, trying to find Owen and Ianto, who had gone suspiciously quiet. Tosh and Gwen exchanged a look and followed him towards where their voices had come from.

"It's not that bad!"

The false cheer in Owen's voice made Jack stop mid-step, and he exchanged a look with Tosh and Gwen. They shrugged. Clearly, Owen's behavior was... was that compassion? All the hints pointed to it, but Jack wanted to think that he'd know if something was wrong in the Hub without such obvious signs.

"It's gone for good," Ianto's voice—sad and empty—replied.

And once more Owen replied in a way that could have been supportive if Jack didn't know that Owen was only supportive when there were no witnesses. "It's fine, Ianto. Jack can cheer you up later, it's Valentine's day." There was a pause. "Or at least get you another one."

"I don't even want to hear about Valentine's Day. The love of my life is dead." Jack arrived just in time to see him throw Owen an affronted look. "And it's not as simple as getting another one!"

"Oh, fuck." Owen turned his eyes skyward. "Dear lord, I didn't sign up for this."

"It's an antique! Out of circulation for fifty years! Never, and I do mean never—I worked in a coffee shop before Torchwood, I know—have I ever seen a coffee machine that blends beans so finely while still preserving the integrity of the taste. The perfect water temperature, every time. It's never spurted out water, never stalled, never—"

"Because it was augmented with alien tech." Owen spoke as if to a child. "And what's this never stalled business? It's never worked for me!"

"You just don't have the right touch."

"You—"

That was when Jack chose to step out of the shadows and grab Ianto's arm, because Owen and Ianto were now facing each other over the remains of the coffee machine, which… Jack hadn't known was alien. Maybe that was why it always made the best coffee. That, or Ianto's innate skill. It explained why Ianto's coffee was always better at the Hub than when he brought it in.

"Clean it up?" he said to Owen as he led Ianto away from confrontation.

"It's his birthday." Ianto pouted. "I wouldn't have actually hit him."

Jack wasn't quite sure of that, because when Owen and Ianto were sleep-deprived after a long day and wanted to avoid cleaning up, they tended to pick fights and stick with their original positions, but nodded nevertheless. He waited a second for Ianto to cool down some more, and spoke only when Ianto took a calming breath.

"Owen's right, you know." Ianto stepped away and opened his mouth to argue, but Jack beat him to it. "I'll try to fix the coffee machine."

Ianto flushed when Jack laughed at his quick response, still running on adrenaline. "Sorry."

"What'd you think I was going to do?" Jack grabbed his hand again, and this time Ianto hung on. "Let you spend Valentine's Day without the love of your life?"

[lifeofkaze]

An Art of Balance #22

Orion Amari x MC

Warning: very small mention of alcohol, blink and you'll miss it

A/N: Another very long one but... you'll see why :D thank you to @kc-needs-coffee and @carewyncromwell for looking over and getting my thoughts straight, love you loads <3

Word Count: ~ 4.900

_____________________________________________________________

Chapter 22: Moonglow

The sounds of music and laughter were immediately muffled as the heavy round oak door shut behind her; by the time Lizzie had reached the end of the tunnel, the sound of the party going in the Common Room was barely audible anymore.

She stepped into the dimly lit stone corridor and shivered; the damp air in the dungeons was always more on the cold side, but coming out of the heat of the Common Room, Lizzie’s arms were covered in goosebumps in no time; she wished she had taken the time to put a jacket over the old team jersey she was wearing.

Looking left and right to see in which direction Orion had been going, she could just see him rounding the corner of the path that led up to the Great Hall. She set after him at a light jog, partly to catch up with him but also to drive the cold out of her body.

As Orion heard her footsteps behind him, he turned around; a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth when he realised who had followed him from the bustling party. By the time Lizzie reached him, he was leaning against the wall at the foot of the stairs with his arms crossed in front of him.

“Tired of the party already?” he asked after Lizzie came to a halt. He flashed her that crooked smile of his that made it that much harder for her to return to a more steady breathing rhythm.

“Same as you apparently.” Lizzie took a deep breath that forced her heartbeat to return to a more normal pace. “Where are you going?”

“I don’t care much for huge parties with so many people,” he admitted. “I find the attention we get after a successful match often gets too intense. And besides,” he chuckled silently, “McNully was too preoccupied tonight to be good company.”

The image of Murphy’s hands buried in a mane of red locks flashed through Lizzie’s mind. She had to chuckle as well.

“Yeah, his attention may be elsewhere tonight,” she giggled. “So what are you going to do now?”

“The castle is very quiet at night; it’s easier to let your thoughts flow freely in the dark,” he answered. “I’m going to seek respite from the crowd at my favourite place.”

Lizzie raised her eyebrows. “The Quidditch pitch?”

“Second favourite place,” Orion conceded.

He pushed himself off the wall and started climbing the stairs that would take him to the ground level. After a few steps he turned around to her. “Are you coming or not?”

Lizzie felt her lips curl into a smile as she nimbly hopped up the steps as well. It was foolish and reckless, but the mixture of alcohol and adrenaline coursing through her body made her ignore the warnings in her mind for good.

Orion quickly checked to see if no one was around before they crossed the still brightly lit ante room to the Great Hall and continued up the grand staircase that would lead them to the various wings and towers of the castle.

After they had left the Entrance Hall behind, it had grown considerably darker; almost all torches had already been extinguished for the night. Luckily, the light of the moon shining through the windows was bright enough for them to not have any need of their wands.

Neither of them spoke as they wandered past countless statues and paintings, dipping in and out of the silver light illuminating their path. But it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence; both of them were enjoying the other’s company without the need for any words.

The castle looked completely different at night and Lizzie soon lost her sense of direction; she had snuck out after curfew a few times before, mainly when Tonks and Tulip had needed a third pair of hands, but she had never roamed the nightly hallways just for fun.

Orion, on the other hand, seemed perfectly comfortable in the dark; it made her wonder just how often he had sneaked out of bed to explore the school before.

They had entered one of the main corridors again and were waiting for an enchanted staircase to swing their way. After it had arrived, Lizzie set her foot on the lowest step, when Orion’s outstretched arm suddenly blocked her way.

She could immediately see why; a swinging light had appeared at the other side of the landing and was approaching them at an alarming pace.

“Who goes there?” the raspy voice of Argus Filch cut through the darkness. His voice turned triumphant as he could make out their silhouettes in the light of his lantern.

“Ha, Mrs. Norris, now we got them for good!” He drew a deep breath before he yelled, “Hey you, stop! You’re out after curfew, I’ll hang you from the ceiling for this!”

He started towards them as the light in his hand swung back and forth erratically.

“Run!” Orion grabbed Lizzie’s hand as he darted back into the shadows of the corridor they had come from, pulling her behind him. She needed a moment to fall into step with him; she was a lot smaller than Orion and had to take two strides for every one he took.

Lizzie had no idea where they were going; she was just dashing after Orion through hallways, side doors and up several flights of steps. It surprised her how well he knew all the shortcuts and secret passages traversing the castle. They had shaken Filch off quite some time ago, but they only slowed down when they reached the foot of an iron cast spiral staircase.

Her heart hammering against her rib cage, Lizzie collapsed onto the lowest step, gasping for air. Her head had cleared and her already tired legs hurt, her sides burning with stitches from running at full speed.

She looked at Orion, who stood next to her, his forearms resting on the railing as he was trying to catch his breath as well. Their eyes locked for a moment and the rush of adrenaline had them burst into laughter at the absurdity of the situation.

It was only now that Lizzie took in her surroundings; she tilted her head back and watched the staircase ascend into the darkness above, only parts of it illuminated by the moonlight seeping in from the openings in the round walls. She finally knew where Orion had taken her.

“The Astronomy Tower, huh?” she muttered.

Orion inclined his head. “Where better to be one with the universe than directly under the starry sky?” he smiled. “Come on.”

He offered her his hand to pull her up again; Lizzie felt her heartbeat picking up again as he interlaced his fingers with hers while they were climbing the steps leading to the top. She didn’t care if what she was doing was wrong; in this very moment, her hand resting in his felt completely right.

Lizzie could feel her heart beat in time with the sound of their feet of the metal steps. She was walking slightly behind Orion; the tips of his black hair were curled ever so slightly as it had dried in the warm air of the Common Room deep down below them. She watched how it gently swayed with his steps when they passed through one of the moonlit patches; she would have only needed to extend her hand to touch it.

The big, half open room at the top of the tower seemed vast to her as they reached the top. Lizzie had never been up here outside of Astronomy class, where the room was crowded with students and their unwieldy telescopes.

She let go of Orion’s hand as she wandered through the opening in the roof and onto the parapet running around the perimeter of the Astronomy Tower. Professor Sinistra always took great care that no student got too close to the edge, so Lizzie now took the chance to step to the end of the platform. Running her hands along the cold surface of the broad wooden railing, she tilted her head back and took in the dazzling night sky.

The moon was still low enough to not eclipse the myriad of twinkling stars above her; in the cold, clear air of the night, they seemed so close as if she only had to extend her hand to reach them.

“So this is your favourite place in the castle?” she asked as Orion leaned onto the railing beside her, his eyes trailing the firmament as well.

“It is the most peaceful place I know.”

Lizzie could see why; standing at the highest point of the ancient building beneath them, with no one but Orion by her side, the place seemed almost enchanted. She didn’t dare raise her voice to more than a whisper, as if any loud noise might break the spell and wake her up.

A breeze drifted up towards them. It caught in her hair and Lizzie shivered from the cold; she let go of the railing and wrapped her arms around herself. Without a word, Orion shrugged out of his coat and draped it around her shoulders.

Lizzie’s tense muscles immediately relaxed under the fabric still warm from his body heat. He was only wearing a white shirt underneath it himself. Not wanting him to be cold either, Lizzie pulled his coat off her back again.

“It’s alright,” he smiled as she offered it back to him. “I don’t get cold that quickly.”

Relieved she didn’t have to give up her newfound source of warmth, Lizzie slipped it on again. She had to roll up the sleeves several times until they didn’t fall over her hands anymore. As she snuggled deeper into it, her head started spinning at the lovely scent of the heavy fabric, fresh, spicy and woody at the same time. Lizzie recognised it immediately; she had caught it on another of her team members last; it was the missing component of her Amortentia.

“Why does your coat smell like Everett?” she mumbled confused.

Orion raised his eyebrows. “Why would you know how Everett smells?”

Lizzie blushed as she realised how that must have sounded. “Back at the last post-match party,” she explained hurriedly, “I noticed when he got a little bit too close for my liking; he only got hold of me because I got distracted by that scent.”

Orion still looked puzzled. “And why would this particular scent distract you so much?”

“Because I can’t figure out why I know it so well,” she sighed. “I’ve smelled it so many times and but I don’t know where. Only that it has something to do with Quidditch.”

“And what do Everett and my coat smell like?” Lizzie could hear the laughter ringing in his voice at the absurdity of his question.

She turned her head so the collar of the coat came closer to her face and inhaled deeply. “It’s warm,” Lizzie closed her eyes to better concentrate on it, “but fresh at the same time; kind of spicy as well.”

“That would be ginger, cilantro and patchouli, if I’m not mistaken.” Lizzie’s eyes snapped open and she blinked incredulously at the widely grinning Orion next to her. Now that he had named the components she could distinguish them clearly; why hadn’t she thought of that before?

Her brow furrowed in confusion. “How do you know?”

His grin turned into a beautiful, warm laugh. “That happens to be what my shower gel smells like.”

Lizzie’s confusion only grew as the heat rose to her face. “But why did Everett smell like your shower gel?”

Orion shrugged. “We share. There’s mostly only one bottle of shower gel around in our dorm, and somehow, it’s always mine.”

Lizzie cocked her head to the side at the notion of so many people sharing something as personal as a scent. “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard,” she declared with a giggle. “But why doesn’t Murphy use it then? I’ve never noticed it on him.”

“Murphy got gifted his very own personalised bottle of shower gel and he guards it like a treasure,” Orion chuckled.

She could just imagine who that gift had been from. But even after Orion’s explanation, something was not quite adding up. The way Everett had smelled had merely reminded her of the fragrance of the love potion; something had been missing.

“What’s that other scent then,” she asked more to herself. “It reminds me of a fire going out.”

“Like burning wood?”

Lizzie snapped out of her musings. “Yes.”

“I burn incense while meditating; it helps clearing the mind. No wonder my coat smells like it.” There it was again, that intriguingly crooked smirk playing around his lips as he watched her from the side while resting his forearms on the railing.

Not wanting to stare, Lizzie looked out over the peaceful grounds. Ginger, patchouli, cilantro and incense; just like her Amortentia. A wry smile formed on her lips as she shook her head the tiniest bit.

Out of all people, why did it have to be him?

“Do you know why I like to come here?” he asked suddenly.

She tipped her head back and watched the glittering night sky. “You like stargazing?” she chuckled, her joke a weak attempt to take her mind off the way her chest tightened as she felt Orion’s eyes on her.

“Exactly,” he answered in complete seriousness, however. “The stars have a way of showing you a way to your true self, if you know how to read them.”

Lizzie tore her gaze away from the sky. “You’re talking about Astrology.”

Orion nodded in confirmation. “Exactly; it’s the reason I was interested in Divination in the first place. I don’t know much about my past, but the stars taught me more about myself than I would ever have thought possible.”

She laughed lightly as she remembered her own stupid reason for choosing Divination. The night breeze blowing around the top of the tower carried the sound away from her lips and out over the grounds.

“That’s a lot more plausible than what I did.” Orion’s intrigued silence prompting her to go on, she blushed at how flippant she sounded. “I lost a bet with Tonks about who would jump out of the way of a Fanged Frisbee first.”

He laughed along with her, the sound of his voice deep where hers was clear. “You don’t believe in Astrology then?”

She shook her head. “Not really; I know the movement of the planets affect certain magical traits and abilities, but I don’t believe in foresight and omens and all these things.”

Lizzie half-feared to have enticed him into a discussion about the universe and fate, but the corner of his mouth simply quirked up as his eyes dropped to where the neckline of her jersey showed the yellow topaz resting against her skin.

“Why did you never take your necklace off then?”

Her hand went to her throat automatically and covered the pendant. “I don’t know,” she admitted, “I got used to the feel of it, I guess. It comforts me to know it’s there.”

Orion inclined his head. “That’s what birthstones are supposed to do.”

He had started twirling the pendant of his own necklace; Lizzie had rarely seen him without it except when they were playing in House matches. She had never asked why it was so special to him. She reached over to him, gently taking the round stone out of his hands and turned it around between her fingers.

“Is that your birthstone as well?”

To her surprise, he shook his head. “Not mine,” he answered quietly, his voice suddenly tinged with melancholy. “It was my mother’s; it’s one of the only things I still have that once belonged to her. The people in charge at the orphanage where I grew up gave it to me. Although it’s not my own birthstone, its presence comforts me when I feel unsettled; that’s how I came up with the idea for yours.”

Lizzie’s throat tightened at his words; she lightly placed her hand on his arm. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

But Orion shook his head. “Don’t be; all of this happened a long time ago. It made me who I am today and I wouldn’t want to change that.” His gaze swept over the panorama below them; the reflection of the moon glittered on the rippling surface of the Black Lake.

“I don’t need a birthstone to remind me of my strengths, because I know very well who I am,” his voice had reduced to a whisper, moved with the same sadness like before, “although I can’t share my true self with a lot of people.”

Lizzie furrowed her brow; it had never occurred to her that Orion might be afraid to open up. “I’ve never noticed,” she admitted, “to me you are always acting the same. You’re maybe a bit more direct when you’re around friends, but that’s about it.”

“Masking what you want to say behind a lot of words helps you distinguishing between the people who actually care for what you have to say and those who don’t,” he explained.

“Why would you do that?”

“Most people just tune out when they don’t catch on to me,” he explained. “They don’t care to see past my position. To them, I am the eccentric captain of our team and nothing more. They see only what they are expecting to see, so in turn, it is all that I show them. But with you, it’s different; you’re listening to what I have to say. With you, I can be honest.”

Lizzie remained silent; she leaned against the railing, mirroring his position. But contrary to the calm surrounding Orion, she could feel a fist tightening around her heart at his words; she thought about all the lies she had amassed over the course of the last weeks.

“Sometimes I wonder if it’s good to dig too deep,” she mused more to herself. “You might not like everything you find out about yourself.”

“Some things remain mysteries to us, that much is true,” Orion’s expression was unreadable as he turned his head and watched her. “You have become one to me as well, although you never were before. I don’t know what you’re running from, but I want you to know that you can always trust me if you need to share your burden.”

Lizzie felt like she would choke on the emotions welling up in her chest. She didn’t deserve an ounce of the trust he placed in her. She knew this was her chance to come clean and tell him everything, that she positively had to. But the words refused to leave her lips.

Instead, she reached out again and covered his hand with hers, her skin tingling as sparks shot up from her fingertips and coursed through her body at the touch.

“I know,” she breathed with a constricted voice.

It was hard to make out his thoughts as he turned his hand around and intertwined his fingers with hers once more. Lizzie hated herself for not withdrawing her hand at this moment, but she had lost control over her actions long ago.

Orion broke her out of her thoughts. “It’s lucky the moon isn’t full tonight, don’t you think?” His eyes were fixed on a particular assortment of stars. “You can actually see every star of the Leo constellation.”

“You can?” Lizzie mumbled, still distracted by her own thoughts.

Orion regarded her with an unreadable expression. “You don’t see it?”

Of course she did; Lizzie was rather good at Astronomy, she found the movements of the planets fascinating. But she shook her head anyway. “No, I don’t.”

“Well then,” he left his spot at the railing and stepped behind her to gain the same perspective. Even through the thick fabric of his coat, Lizzie could sense the heat radiating off his body. She held her breath as his left arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer towards him. She could feel his strong heartbeat against her back and closed her eyes for a moment. She opened them again as Orion started speaking, his right arm pointing out the single stars forming the constellation above them.

They stood like this for a while, Lizzie leaning against his chest while he held her close, the back of her head resting in the curve of his neck. He told her of the legend behind the Leo constellation, and how the Gods had raised it to the sky because the lion was deemed the King of Beasts.

She listened to the stories he told her with his warm and quiet voice while her eyes were tracing the familiar patterns of the stars. She knew all these things, but it didn’t matter to her; the only thing that was important was them, standing together on the highest point of the castle in the silver light of the ascending moon.

Her right hand was lying on his arm that held her, her fingers drawing tiny circles on his skin as he told her of the brightest star in the Leo constellation: Regulus, the Heart of the Lion.

“But even though it is the brightest of them all,” he murmured against her hair, “the light of the moon still eclipses it. That’s why we’re lucky the moon isn’t full tonight; on a night light this, you can see straight to the heart.”

He moved his head and Lizzie held her breath as his voice suddenly sounded very close to her ear. “But I believe you know all that very well.”

Shivers ran down her spine as his breath ghosted over the sensitive skin of her neck and she felt the rough stubble of his cheek against her jawline. Through the rush of emotions, she vaguely remembered that Professor Sprout kept him updated on all of their grades; of course he would know she did well in Astronomy.

Lizzie turned around in his arms to say something but couldn’t think of anything as she saw him smiling at her, his expression so tender that it threatened to take her breath away. Her own face softened as she brought a hand to his face and gently rested it on his cheek. There was no room for doubts anymore; shutting out her mind, she stood on her tip toes and brushed her lips against the corner of his mouth.

Nothing could have prepared her for the explosion of butterflies inside her chest as Orion’s arms wrapped around her and his lips moved against hers. They were a lot softer than she had imagined, a stark contrast to the stubble of his beard slightly pricking her upper lip. The smell of ginger, patchouli and cilantro hanging in his hair was close to intoxicating as she raked her fingers through it.

Everything else was gone, there was nothing left but the feeling of his lips on hers and the weight of his body pushing her against the railing in her back.

They broke apart for air and Lizzie felt her knees growing weak at the wild and raw emotions stirring his dark eyes. His hand found her neck and pulled her in again. Lizzie felt as if she was on fire, every nerve in her body alert to the maximum, as Orion’s hand tangled in her hair while the other rand down her spine. Their kiss grew deeper with every passing second and Orion smirked against her mouth as Lizzie teasingly bit his lower lip.

He pushed her away the slightest bit and was surprised to see the challenge sparkling in her eyes. “Anything wrong, Captain?” she grinned.

He brought his hand to her face, never breaking the eye contact with her. The spark shining in them was answer enough.

As his lips crashed onto hers this time, it was different; it felt as intense as before, but the mood between them had shifted to something else. As he brushed the tip of his tongue over her lips, she gladly parted them for him, completely losing herself in the moment.

She soon found herself pressing her body against him, her hands buried in his black hair, while his fingers dug into the skin of her waist almost painfully. She brought one of her hands behind her and pushed herself up on the broad railing to bring herself to one level with him, allowing Orion to come even closer as she wrapped her legs around his midsection.

They were so caught up in each other, they didn’t notice the steps approaching from behind.

“Excuse me, what are you two doing up here? It’s way past curfew, and get your hands off each other this instant!” a stern voice sounded from the entrance to the parapet.

Lizzie’s inside went icy cold at the familiar voice. She immediately pushed Orion away from her and hopped of the railing, wrapping his coat around her to hide her crumpled state of her shirt.

Rowan’s eyes widened in shock as she recognised whom exactly she had caught making out before shattering into the deepest look of hurt and heartbreak Lizzie had ever seen.

She started shaking her head and backed away a few steps, mouthing soundless words of disbelief, before she turned around and dashed towards the staircase.

Lizzie cursed under her breath and ran after Rowan. When she caught up with her, she reached for Rowan’s arm to make her stop. “Rowan, wait, I can explain- “

“No!” Rowan jerked free off her touch so violently Lizzie staggered backwards. In the light coming from her wand, she could see the tears streaking down her best friend’s face.

“How could you do this to me? I trusted you!” she cried between sobs that pierced Lizzie’s heart like daggers.

“I’m so sorry, Rowan, believe me I, didn’t mean to- “

But Rowan didn’t let her finish. “Of course you did! You have everything you could ever want, but you just couldn’t keep your hands off him!”

She took a step in Lizzie’s direction with such a fury that Lizzie inadvertently moved backwards.

“Charlie Weasley’s not been enough for you, has he?” she sneered, all her disappointment suddenly turning into anger. “It’s not enough you have him eating out of your hand; no, you had to go and get yourself the one guy that was important to me, that I thought liked me, because you can’t stand the thought of me having something that you don’t!”

The colour had drained from Lizzie’s face; not once in her life had she seen Rowan so furious.

“Rowan, you need to calm down,” Orion had come up to them, addressing the livid girl very cautiously, as if trying to soothe a spooked animal. “I’m sure we can clear this misunderstanding together.”

“Misunderstanding?” Rowan barked a humourless laugh that made Lizzie’s skin crawl. “The only misunderstanding here is that I thought you were my friend,” she spat at her. “When in truth, you’re nothing but a liar.”

Orion was looking at her now and she closed her eyes. ‘Please’, she prayed, ‘please, don’t.’

But Rowan carried on. “Did you never wonder why we wanted to study with you in the first place?” she asked Orion but her eyes were boring into Lizzie’s as she spoke. “It was all a ruse and nothing more. She promised me to help me getting to know you better, but that was a lie as well.”

Rowan grit her teeth. “The only truth here is that our dear Lizzie has a taste for Quidditch captains and can’t stand it when all attention isn’t on her.”

With a last scathing look at Lizzie, Rowan turned to leave again. When Lizzie reached for her arm once more, she whipped around and raised her wand.

“Flipendo!”

A bang cut through the quiet of the castle as the jinx hit Lizzie square in the chest, knocking her to the ground and driving her breath from her lungs. The pain itself wasn’t so bad; she remembered the feeling from her many years in the duelling club and Rowan’s defensive charms had never been the strongest. What really cut through her was the knowledge that her best friend had cast a spell to hurt her.

Orion was by her side immediately to check if she was okay, but Lizzie only had eyes for Rowan who stood frozen on the spot, incredulous of what she had done, before a strangled sob escaped her and she fled down the staircase, the clanking sound of her steps growing fainter with every moment.

With a groan, Lizzie came into a sitting position and rubbed at the point where Rowan’s spell had hit her.

Orion’s hand cupped her cheek as he searched her face for any sign of whether she was hurt. “Are you okay?”

Lizzie could only shake her head; his caring touch broke the tension of the situation and she felt the tears well up in her eyes. She turned her head away from his touch and covered her mouth with her hand as they started streaming down her face.

What had she done?