#is there a part of me that looks back and feels a little wistful about the carefree existence i had back then? absolutely
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I didnât know I wanted you (Until I couldnât have you)
Part 2/5
ââŚHeâs always talking down to me and treating me like a child.â Buck huffed as they slowly followed the hiking trail to a platform above a waterfall.
Buck let out a wistful sigh, releasing all his pent up stress as he enjoyed the view. âHey, Tommy.â
âYeah?â
âDid you know this waterfall is a 30 foot drop? They say itâs the most beautiful during rainfall.â
âOh yeah?â Tommy smiled, leaning against the platform railing and looking down.
âYeah a-and in the 1850s, miners created the canal to wash gold from the earth. This park actually has connections toââ
âThe gold rush, yeah.â Tommy nodded. âHave you ever been here before?â
âNo, but..it was on my bucket list.â Buck ducked his head with a bashful chuckle. âThanks for uhâŚflying me out here.â
âSure. You seemed like you needed to get away from all the noise and get out of your head a bit.â
âYeahâŚâ Buck sighed. âSorry for kindaâbringing that here with me. Iâm just really frustrated.â
âI get it. Working under a guy like Gerrard can be pretty taxing. I lost myself in so many hobbies trying to forget about the work day, and I didnât really have any family to turn to so it was better than keeping it all bottled up.â
âOr punching someone.â Buck replied with a laugh.
Tommy joined the laughter, nodding in agreement. âYeah. Or that.â Tommy briefly paused. âAnd besides, I did fly Eddie to Vegas, and you seemed like you felt a little left outââ
âYeahâ Buck admitted with a smile âa little. A-and this is a bit of a further distance than Vegas. Ahân-not that this is a competition or anything.â
Tommy shot Buck a charming smirk that made Buckâs heart swell with the feeling he desperately tried to ignore. âRight. Not a competition.â
In an attempt to redirect the conversation and his own feelings, Buck suggested heading to the picnic area.
âThese chicken wraps are amazing.â Tommy complimented with his mouth full.
âThanks I, uh, I learned to cook from Bobby.â
âMm.â Tommy hummed, continuing to eat to his heartâs content.
âWe should do this again sometimeâoh, look, thereâre some sheep over there!â
âYeah theyâre here for vegetation management. Pretty cool, right?â
âVery cool.â
âAnd, yes, Evan. Iâd love to come here more often with you. Maybe we can do this every time our schedules align?â
âThatâd be great!â Buck smiled widely, that nagging feeling returning once again.
Tommyâs so cool.
When Buck got home, he laid out on his bed, sighing dreamily as he reminisced about the day he had.
The waterfall was amazingâTommyâs so coolâThose sheep were so cute! We even saw a horseâThe way Tommy knew the entire trail like the back of his hand was really impressiveâThe park was so quiet and calmingâTommyâs such a great person.
Eventually, the thoughts of Tommy won him over, and Buck just couldnât stop thinking about Tommy. The best, coolest, most amazing guy heâd ever met.
No, that would sound a little too weird right? I donât mean it in a weird way? How do I even mean it?
I like hanging out with Tommy. I like Tommy. Heâs cool. So cool. The coolest.
And I don't wanna weird him out.
#i didn't know i wanted you (until i couldn't have you)#bucktommy#tommy kinard#evan buckley#firefly.social#firebeast.doc
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i love kot kot. i've always loved kot kot. and i'm gonna tell you why.
i think it's a beautiful song, i think it's a banger, i think it's a nostalgic sound, and i think it's an incredibly sad song.
musically, i think kot kot sounds like a summer night in finland. the contrast between the melodic, soaring chorus and the darker, harder verses sounds like walking back and forth between the bright light midnight and the dark clubs or bars or restaurants or something. going from the first verse into the chorus again feels like stepping out from a dark venue and it's 2 am but the light outside is the same as it was when you went in hours ago. it's actually super eerie the way time doesn't seem to move at all during the height of summer in finland. it's a sort of a liminal space that can feel either like never ending horror or an addictive state of true living, depening on how you deal with endless light.Â
this is a summer song to me.
i love love love the free flying chorus.
i love love love the old school sound of the verses.
the chorus is beautiful with it's long soaring vowels and lines. the verses are mega bangers that remind of early 2000's music. the echoes of like old school drum and bass, breakbeat etc. are super nostalgic to me and have sent me down the rabbit hole of music from my childhood multiple times since the song came out. and i personally love the contrasts and different sections in the song. i think they go together well, i don't think they clash.
i think jurek and allu have composed a clever song. and honestly allu deserves more recognition across the board i am sorry i've been slipping in that department.
now. to the sad part.
i always felt like the chorus was sort of... wistful and melancholic. but the album puts all of that in a different context. he's not just mr. lonely. he's fucking terrified of being alone.Â
"pelottaa, ettei jatkopläänit ehkä osukkaa, kuumottaa tosissaan, osote ois saatava, poket tos jo hoputta siis vastatkaa nyt saatana" meaning "i'm scared that after party plans will fall through, seriously getting jittery about it, i need an address, bouncers are on my case, somebody pick up the phone" like with the context of the full album now, it's really painting a picture of someone who does not want to go home and face being alone with his thoughts.
i remember when the song came out and people had all sorts of headcanons and ideas as to why the second time round the voice on the phone is in english - things like maybe he's making an international call or something. well, the truth is that in finland, that message is always played in three languages: finnish, swedish and english. so why is it in english the second time? honestly in all seriousness i think it's just a little nod to his international fans or something, like i don't think there is a real story reason for it. but if there was.. well, if anything, to me it suggests that he must have stayed on the phone, listening through the whole litany: valitsemaanne numeroon ei juuri nyt saada yhteyttä, kontakt med numret ni har valt füs ej, the number you have dialed cannot be reached. to get to the english part he has already been told twice in two languages that there is no one there, nobody is picking up, but he's still there.
honestly this song more than anything feels like the true pair of autiomaa, because to me, this song is someone trying to avoid feeling exactly the way autiomaa describes. feeling empty, feeling nothing, feeling alone. he says as much: "tää klubi on yht tyhjä ku sen katsoja" meaning this club is as empty as he who is looking at it. he's empty and finding other people to party and hang out with is the only way out of feeling empty, the only way to distract himself from the fact that he is lost.
and so for skit and autiomaa to come right after this? he has reached a breaking point and realised he has to face the nothingness inside.
and again, like with takavoltti, i think this song represents that long standing finnish tradition of writing funny lyrics about difficult subjects. it's also very very typical in finnish culture to make songs that seem to be about drinking on the surface level but are actually not about that. this song builds a lot of very comedic images: him vibing to celine dion alone in a club and refusing to leave, fighting with bouncers etc. and then of course there is the whole chicken thing with kot kot kot. it's funny - except it's not funny at all.
but the thing is, it's okay to find things funny in the song. they both are and are not funny at the same time, because isn't that what life is. i don't think the intention of these songs is to make you feel one specific way, it's just a matter of perspective. and that can change from day to day. so i think it's okay if one day the song breaks your heart on behalf of the käärijä in the story of the song, and on another day you just want to belt out the chorus and dance through the verses. it's all okay, it's all good.
and that's pretty skilled song writing.
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#sometimes you gotta use your tumblr blog to monologue𧥠or often if you're me#one of the interesting things about going from being a young adult to just a straight up adult is how in a matter of 3-4-5 years---#---the foundation of your daily life can and usually will change so drastically#i think back five years and except for my boyfriend. none of the cornerstones of my day-to-day existence back then exist anymore#the friends i saw on a regular basis no longer live here. they've all moved to other parts of the country#work friends aside i now have...four friends left here. as opposed to the 10-12 i had back then#they're scattered all over the country and i'm lucky if i get to see most of them once a year#the job i loved and adored is no longer one i'm working#it actually doesn't exist at all anymore. the building was torn down and the patients scattered all over town#the path i'd gotten started on in life in terms of education and work is no longer one i'm pursuing#the lifestyle i led is a far cry from the one i'm currently leading#and it's funny is all cos you don't realise that all of these changes are happening in the moment#you just look up one day and realise that a whole part of your life is over#this is starting to sound very sad but that's not it at all#cos truth be told youth is no guarantee for happiness. not in my experience anyway#is there a part of me that looks back and feels a little wistful about the carefree existence i had back then? absolutely#but do i wish to be in my early 20s again? no i do not cos at the time i was fighting battles that i've now overcome#and i have far healthier and more fulfilling sources of joy and happiness in my life now than i did back then#i do think 2018 me would have been lowkey horrified to hear that 2020 me got back into the fangirl lifestyle and that 2023 me is still there#cos i'm fairly certain 2018 me thought that was a past chapter#and that i should've long since grown out of it#but i'd never wanna be without all the good things that faceplanting into the 5sos fandom has brought me#like...even not counting 5sos themselves and everything they are and everything they do---#---i'd NEVER wanna be without all the amazing experiences and encounters that being a fan of theirs have brought me#now i'm just sidetracking cos i'm getting a lil emo#point is that the passage of time is very welcome but also very odd when you take a step back and look at the bigger picture of things
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âŞ" you amaze me "
Bg3 x reader
Giving them a surprise kiss
Warnings : suggestive on Halsin's part... Spoilers for bg3 (duh).
Genre : fluff
A/n : I have 367 hours in this game so I believe that I am worthy enough to write for these characters I love so very much. I am extremely open to requests for bg3 please send me all the stuff you want to see! I'm not gonna include minsc and jaehira for obvious reasons.
Characters : halsin, astarion, wyll, gale, gortash, rolan, raphael
⢠astarion
Leans into the kiss almost immediately. Its usually how he responds to any affection coming from you. Rests a gentle hand on your arm as he deepens the kiss with a pleased little smile on his lips.
When you break from the kiss, still has the smile on his lips, his eyes looking down at you softly, " can't get enough of me, darling?" He cooed out teasingly, a giddiness to him that wasn't there a few minutes ago.
You nip his jaw," stop getting cocky. I caught you off-gaurd, admit it."
He gasped in offence," and here I thought my beautiful partner was merely expressing how much they loved me." Shaking his head at you with an exagerrated pout," shame on you."
"... That's a 'yes'." You smirked.
"Oh shut up," pulls you into another kiss full of laughter.
⢠gale
Blinks for a good 5 seconds before finally responding to the kiss in full, hand curling through your hair to cup the back of your head. A wistful sigh blows through his nose as he leans into the kiss more.
When you pull away, he still holds your head. You smile happily at him," Hello, love." You greet cutely.
Sends you a bashful little smile, pressing his forehead to yours," Well... hello to you too."
"Were you surprised?"
"Oh-hoh?" He grinned with amusement," there was a goal behind all this?"
You tilt your head from side to side," eh... I did have one. But I also just wanted to kiss my handsome husband."
Clears his throat, cheeks warming," Oh, well consider me th..thoroughly surprised, then."
⢠wyll
It only takes him a second to respond to your kiss, cupping both sides of your face so gently and rubbing a thumb across your jawline. A small happy hum falls from his lips as he's kissing you.
When pulling away, his lips chase after yours, giving you a final little peck," You amaze me. Everytime." He breathed out, always has something cheesy to say after every kiss but it never fails to make your heart stutter.
You huff," You're impossible to surprise, yknow? You're too smooth."
He laughs," will it make you feel better if I said you gave me butterflies?"
A hum and then a smile you nodded to him," I believe that's substantial. However, you need to pay for your indiscretions with a kiss."
"Whatever will I do?" Wyll leans down, nose pressing against yours," I have no choice but to give in, hm?"
"No choice." You agreed, hands moving to his waist as he cups your face.
He presses his lips to yours excitedly.
⢠gortash
He's doing some paperwork when you give him a little kiss on the cheek. Not reacting at first, he finished his signature before looking up at you, a softness to his eyes," Can I help you?"
You merely give him an innocent smile," just reminding you that I love you."
He blinks for a moment before he hums, a slow grin reaching his lips," I see.." He places a hand to your hip, rubbing it slowly with a thumb," Well, I fear I need another reminder then, my dear."
"Greedy," You cooed out before pressing a proper kiss to his lips.
⢠raphael
Is certainly shocked for a split second. He was only telling you about a recent poem he had read and enjoyed.
He cups the back of your neck with his clawed hand, deepening the kiss with huff of amusement. Before breaking the kiss he nips at your bottom lip with his sharp teeth," It's rude to interrupt."
You hum, pressing another kiss to his jaw," You're too endearing when you talk about your poems." You reply honestly.
"Oh good, I was afraid I was boring you." No, he wasn't. He knew how engaged you got in his little speils. That was endearing.
"You could never." He drags you into another kiss with a lot more flames stoked beneath it.
⢠halsin
A low hum of surprise and then a slow smile reaches his lips. His large hands rest on your waist as he deepens this kiss, feeling heat build between the two of you the more passionate it grows.
When you pull away from eachother there's a trail of saliva left between your lips. His eyes are a lot darker now, a yellow shine to them," is there something you need, my heart?" He questioned with that low tone of his.
"Just you."
Pins you to a nearby tree and kisses your neck," that I'll give you in abundance."
⢠rolan
Was in the middle of complaining to you about how you put a book in the wrong place. He had that cute little frown on his face, the grouchy furrow to his brows and the agitated swish of his tail.
You just couldn't help yourself. Leaning forwards, you caught his lips with yours, making him shut up completely. He stared down at you with wide eyes before he moans a little and leans into the kiss.
His tail curls around your leg, dragging you closer to him as he leaned back against the bookcase behind him.
When you pulled away for a breath, he still had his eyes closed for a good five seconds.
Looks into your eyes for a moment before he cups your jaw," you can't kiss your way through an argument." He huffs out.
"I just did."
"Did you? What if I'm still mad at you?"
You grinned at him," Your tail says otherwise, love."
He scoffed and tried to frown but his lips kept twitching," You're impossible." Pulls you into a more heated kiss, arms wrapping around you protectively.
#raphael x reader#raphael x tav#raphael bg3#rolan x tav#rolan x reader#bg3 rolan#astarion x tav#astarion x reader#astarion bg3#gale x reader#gale x tav#gale bg3#wyll x tav#wyll x reader#wyll bg3#halsin x tav#halsin x reader#halsin bg3#bg3 x reader#baldurs gate 3 x reader#i love this game#bg3 gortash#gortash x reader#gortash x tav
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Yoongi Fic Recommendations
a - angst f - fluff s - smut
part 2
Series
In the Margins (a s f) by @bonvoyagenoona âšââ You werenât sure what he would look like. His writing made you think of a cabin nestled among tall pines, a well-worn cardigan, a scotch neat, and a wistful wisp of smoke seeping into the air from the bowl of an unattended tobacco pipe. What stands before you now is a studio apartment in the city, cigarette butts, coffee stains, and a scowl. Thereâs definitely been a mistake.
Fix You (f a) by @casuallyimagining âšââ When you take in a stray cat, you have no idea heâs secretly a hybrid trying to escape his past. Can you help him heal?
desolate (a f s) by @angelicyoongie âšââ you just wanted a cute little normal cat to keep you company. so you're not really sure how you ended up with the grumpiest hybrid on earth that seems hellbent on making your life difficult.
One Shots
Set Me Free (a f) by @casuallyimagining âšââ Tired of being told how to live his life and unsure of where he stands in the world, Yoongi--your soulmate--yearns to be free. When you give him what he wants, it causes a rift in your relationship that seems irreparable. 12 years later, you find him back in your life. Can you mend your relationship? Do you even want to?
back-burner (a f s) by @yoonpobs âšââ sometimes you felt like you were the back-burner of a two-decade-long friendship. how could you ever compete?
Love Language (a s f) by @gukslut âšââ Your boyfriend obviously loves you, but his silence has you questioning if he *wants* you. If you could only get past your damn insecurities maybe you could appreciate what you have.
27 Phone Numbers (f) by @bxebxee âšââ Yoongi has gone through twenty-seven phone numbers over the last ten years, and you havenât changed yours since high school.Â
sweetner (f s) by @taegularities âšââ You used to know how he sounded when you were wrapped around him, but circumstances have pulled you apart and sent you scattering in opposite directions. Feelings shouldn't reappear so easily by simple words, but when you find yourselves in the same place once again, this is exactly what happens.
One Chance (f) by @out-of-jams âšââ A musical genius, a guy with a bad reputation, your assigned partner for your final project. And the last thing you ever would have expected.
Seasons Change (a s) by @taetaesbaebaepsae âšââ Min Yoongi and you, through the seasons, break up and come back together. Nobody said love was easy.
All That Holly, Jolly Sh*t (a f s) by @daechwitatamic âšââ You havenât seen or heard from Yoongi since he broke your heart five years ago, laying out a logical list of reasons why you were better off breaking up. When a Christmas Eve blizzard traps you together for the night, you have no choice but to examine how few of those reasons are still true. And if theyâre not⌠where does that leave you?
Now We Reign (a s f) by @oddinary4bts âšââ when working on a collab together makes you and Min Yoongi seek comfort with the other, you discover thereâs more to life than loneliness. Only, hurdles mark your path in Min Yoongiâs life, and itâs unclear what the outcome will be. Will you be destroyed by him and his world, or will you learn to reign over it, together with him?
take five (a f) by @jiminrings âšââ you're min yoongi's nurse and you have a crush on him, and he gives you five chances to ask him out - he never said anything about accepting though.
The Final - Day 02 (s) by @yoongiofmine âšââ You've been Yoongi's go-to companion for the past few years, well aware that's all you were going to be. Despite your very real, growing feelings for the rapper, you took what you could get every time. Now, you're backstage at day two of the final leg of his tour when another member takes an interest in you. Will it be enough to make Yoongi realize he's got competition?
hello soulmate (f) by @bluemari23 âšââ your first day on the job doesn't turn out the exact way you envisioned
Sugar Rush Ride (s) by @lo1k-diamonds âšââ You produced a song based on your hidden desires for your fellow producer and promised yourself that tonight, things would change. You were done pining after him, but then he arrived at the listening party.
fuck being friends (a f s) by @strawberrynamjoon âšââ as if watching the guy you were hopelessly in love with hook up with another girl each weekend wasnât enough, he also happened to be your best friend, making things extra complicated. and it only gets worse and worse once he finds you crying in the bathroom at a party one night.
Take One (s f) by @untaemedqueen âšââ There are three things which Yoongi was certain of. One, he was a big star in his field of work. Two, he had a huge cock, one to rival many of the largest names in his industry. Three, he can only find pleasure these days in written word.Â
Illicit Favors (f s) by @yoongiofmine âšââ When your editor tells you to re-write the chapters of your book because the sex scenes are weak, suggesting you write them from experience, what do you do when you lack any kind of sexual experiences in general? You go to your friend and ask him for help with it.
Bet On It (s) by @minisugakoobies âšââ What's a little wager between enemies? How about if it's your body on the line?
subscribed (s f) by @aquagustd âšââ you find out that youtube isnât the only site he uses to satisfy his subscribers. what do you do with that information?
#bts#bts x reader#bts fic recs#bts smut#bts angst#bts fluff#yoongi#min yoongi#yoongi x reader#yoongi fic recs#yoongi smut#yoongi angst#yoongi fluff#min yoongi x reader#min yoongi smut#min yoongi fic recs#min yoongi fluff#min yoongi angst#suga#suga x reader#suga smut#suga fic recs#suga fluff#suga angst
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Batmom Cass : enter Barbara
Part one of 2
âYou did good work,â Barbara said, in a casual tone. Proud.
Timmybird nodded and gave a flash of teeth in a smile. Didn't believe. It's nothing, look away. âGlad you think they'll pass.â He rolled his neck. âI don't want anyone to be able to prove he's Danny F.â
Cass watched their interplay casually, hair damp from the post-patrol shower and comfortably swimming in an oversized sweatshirt. She played with the ends of the sleeve as they talked.
âThey can suspect it all they like, but it'd be hard to disprove this is a separate kid.â Barbara ran her palms over her wheelchair handles in an unconscious tic that meant she wanted to go, go, go. âStill, I like the idea of keeping him out of the public eye until we nail down what's going on in Illinois. This GIW group is bad news.â
Cass bit her lip and flexed her toes, uncertain. Danny was getting restless. And he was a teenager: he needed to be in school. He needed to learn, stretch his wings, grow.
But safe. He needed to be safe, first.
The trouble was she didn't know how to make him fully safe. She'd had him for four days now. Judging by the report of his death, Danny baby had been homeless and on the run for more than a month. He was hiding. Even when she was in the room, he was looking for attacks. Who was he looking for? Dad and mom Fenton? GIW group?
â-gonna hit the showers,â said her little brother.â Cash barely registered him heading to the batcave bathrooms. She was internally weighing her bat nosiness sense against her worry about pushing Danny for answers too soon.
âAm I good to meet him, Mamabird?â
Cass blinked back to awareness. âMama bat,â she corrected. âYes.â She cracked her lower back. Mm. Too much standing after patrol. She needed to move a little. âBreakfast. Baby wakes up soon.â
Barbara snorted. âI'll go to bed after,â she said wryly, because they had been flying and solving into the morning light. Riddler was out on the streets. âDid someone check with Alfred about adding me to the breakfast table?â
She didn't know. Cass hummed and flipped over to walk on her hands up the stairs. It sent a pleasant ache through her upper back. Stabilizing her core and legs was just the right amount of casual challenge to make her body feel better.
âChrist,â Barbara said quietly, and huffed out a laugh. The elevator dinged. âI'll see you upstairs.â
Barbara Batgirl beat Cass to the top. Cass huffed in displeasure at the loss and flipped back to her feet. She ducked into the first bathroom they passed to wash her hands.
Alfie was in the kitchen in his morning waistcoat and a thin, comfortable button up shirt. Casual day!
âGood morning, Miss Cassandra,â he said. The kitchen smelled like yeasty bread. Cass sneezed happily and peered around to see meats, cheeses, and fruits.
âMorning!â She chirped. âBarbara wants to stay for breakfast,â Cass said. Barbara wheeled in a moment later, sheepish.
âGood morning, Alfred,â she said. âIf it's not too much trouble-â
âIt's no trouble at all,â he reassured. âMiss Cassandra, would you add an extra place setting?â
Cass hopped to it, mimicking the placement Alfred had made. It was a nearly full table today. Timbird, Batdad, Dickbird, Cass, Danny baby, Damibat. And now Barbara bat.
She heard a jaw-cracking yawn before Danny swung open the door. âGood morning,â Danny baby yawned through his hand. His eyes were bleary. She watches with amusement as he shuffled in, face down. âHave a good ni-â
He stopped. Eyes on Barbara bat.
New adult, he was scared?
No. Cass rapidly calculated and shifted his shifting body language into emotions. Surprise, joy, love-love-lo-wrong! Not love! Sad. Wistful.
âThis is my baby,â Cass said, pretending she didn't notice the reaction. âDanny. This is Barbara.â
Barbara must have noticed Danny's reaction to her. She didn't move closer, lifting a friendly hand from across the countertop.
Danny looked haunted. Danny looked small. âIt's nice to meet you, Barbara,â he said. Weak smile.
She had to talk to him, Cass realized. She had to talk with him today. No more delaying. After breakfast, she would talk.
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Caught
Heyyyy.... This is something I wrote all in one night and it got filthy quick lol. I've been trying to do more one offs and I hope you guys like this one!!
Check out our Patreon for 100+ exclusive writings and early access to updates!
WC- 9.1k
Warnings- Sex w someone who isn't Y/N (It's quick don't worry), friends to lovers, angst, unprotected sex, spitting, praise kink
------
Y/N hadnât thought twice about going into the living room she shared with her roommate, AirPods in her ear as she had padded across the hall. Maybe if she had been aware of her surroundings, maybe if she hadnât assumed Harry would figure out she was home by her keys on the rack or her text prior, she would have avoided walking into the scene of filth she found herself stumbling in on.Â
Strolling into the living room, she was stopped cold by the scene in front of her. There, on their couch, was Harry. Fully naked, his back red with what would be scratch marks in the morning, thrusting into someone. A woman, by the sound of the whimpers. Manicured nails gripped his biceps as she whimpered, the sound of sex becoming evident as she ripped the AirPod from her ear.Â
She was frozen. Standing there shocked, hearing his grunts as his hand steadied him on the back of the couch with his fingers denting the fabric, his powerful thrusts jolting the girl and the furniture. He was into it, fully. As much as she felt she was intruding, she couldnât stop looking.Â
It was hot. Y/N had to admit that, even in her frozen shocked state. The mix of their sounds, her red hair spilling over onto the pillow, her leg being held up by one of his hands to get, what was most likely, the perfect angle. Just by the sound of it, the pair was having an incredible time.Â
âFuckinâ taking it so well..â His raspy voice was deep, a depth she hadnât heard the fullness of. It sent tingles down her body, hearing her roommate and seeing him in a way she hadnât before. He had always been sweet and goofy and silly. He joked around about getting lucky, she heard some lighthearted sex stories and had he was a master at dirty jokes- but she had never seen him in the element. Assuming most people didnât see their friends like that.Â
Y/N didnât harbor any feelings, not that she knew of. She wasnât hurt by the viewing, no, more so fascinated and embarrassed because she had caught them. But they seemed far too into it to notice her. That itself got her hot between her thighs.Â
Harry seemingly hadnât been lying about his skill in the bedroom. She thought he had been exaggerating, but the way the girl under him was wailing seemed to have her thinking different.Â
âFuck me.â The girlâs voice sounded weak, red nails tangling in his hair and pulling him down. The sound of lips coming together for a kiss echoed in the room, his pace slowing and his hips grinding into her, making the redhead moan and arch her leg up over his hip to pull him closer. The weak whine was wistful, the pop of their mouths disconnecting and saucy chuckle from Harry was low as he gripped her jaw.Â
âYouâre so close. I can feel it.â He spoke close to her mouth. âWet little cuntâs making a proper mess. Should make you clean it up with your tongue. Filthy little thing.â He grumbled.Â
Y/N had sense to slowly back into the hallway, hiding behind the wall- but she still couldnât look away. It was wrong. So goddamn wrong, but her cunt was hot and wet from simply watching, she wanted to see it all. Just looking at how wet his covered cock had been, stretching the strangerâs cunt out and hearing her whines had her imagining herself in her place.Â
Would he choke her? Would he call her filthy? She could only hope.Â
Her eyes watched as the girl clung to him, letting out little noises each time his cock thrusted into her. The pace was picking up from the slower one, her lips parting in a soft âoâ as Harry looked down at her. It seemed intense. No words exchanged but the noises of their sex, the wetness of her cunt and his cock fucking into the strangerâs welcoming cunt filling the room.Â
The shift happened when he slowly adjusted her leg. Like a bolt had hit her, she squealed and arched up, panting out to him. âFuck, fuck, fuck⌠right there, fuck me right there, donât stop.â She was desperate, begging him as his prick filled her dripping cunt again and again.Â
âMânot stopping until youâre creaming around my cock, sweetheart.â He smirked, keeping the angle perfect as he continued to sheath himself inside of her. The pleasured groans and moans, slapping of skin, it was all hot. Every bit of it. Y/N wasnât going to be able to forget it. Harry was stretching her out, and watching his cock inside of her was doing something to her.Â
It planted a seed of jealousy in her mind. Displaced, of course, because she had no claim over him. He was her friend, her roommate, but watching this made her recall her own experiences. While they hadnât been bad- some were ever good!- they never made her moan like that. Never made her legs tremble in the way the girl underneath Harry were. No one had spoken to her with that sort of grit, that dirty. Her own had been moans, whispers, but nothing that came close to how her body was reaction to the mere sight of this.Â
The noises got louder and she could see that they were getting to the edge but it felt like too much to watch it happen. Instead, she shut her bedroom door and listened. The slap of skin, the whimpers coming from the woman that were slightly muffled and the words of encouragement leaving his mouth. He called her a good girl, told her to cum around him, and a smack followed by a heady moan made her eyebrows raise. Harry was into it. It happened soon after, the repeated mewls into the air that she was cumming and the sound of his hips quickening before he let out a groan that would surely haunt her, then the sounds of frantic lips meeting.Â
It was over now, but she surely wouldnât forget about it anytime soon.Â
ââ
Y/N hid out in her room for 2 hours. She knew the girl was gone, heard Harry tell her goodbye and the closing of the door. Heard him take a shower. But she was hesitant to leave. It was going to be an awkward thing, she knew, especially because sheâd slipped her hand into her panties and made herself orgasm in record time.Â
She was ashamed to get off to the memory of that. This was Harry, after all! But she couldnât deny the hunger that rose after seeing the type of sex sheâd always thought was reserved for her erotic novels in real time. Her sex had never been like that and the pleasured sounds and words from the woman heâd fucked had sounded so desperate and real, there was no way she was faking it. The other thing that bothered her, though, was the fact that he had done it on the couch. They had a rule not to do anything in common areas, and if he had just followed them then she wouldnât be in this mess. Thinking of him in ways she shouldnât be.Â
The guilt bubbled in her stomach, but it was hungry more than anything. She needed to eat something, needed to face the music, and she waited until Harry was in his room to scurry to the kitchen and grab some snacks as fast as she could- some chips, dark chocolate, a protein drink, piling them in her arms to make the great escape back to her room- only to turn around to see Harry standing there with a smile.Â
Fuck.
âHey, lovely. When did you get home? I didnât hear the door.â He hummed, stepping closer into the kitchen and bumping her hip to get into the fridge.Â
There were a few ways she could go about this, but Y/N didnât like to lie. She despised it, actually, and thatâs part of what made Harry like her so much. His words, not her assumption. She was honest to a fault, and it was hard to go back from that. But she wasnât about to admit she stood there and watched- not on her own terms.Â
âIâve been home all day.â She said simply, avoiding his eye as she adjusted the snacks in her arms. Part of her wanted to book it to her room but if she did that, it would be even worse. Heâd follow her. As hard as sheâd tried, her voice came off a bit cool, not the normal easy warmth it usually held. Heâd know.Â
He froze. Harryâs body stiffening as he stood up from the fridge and shut the door. âYou-You have?â His voice was hesitant and she could feel his eyes on her as she nodded, pretending to be interested in the ingredients list of her chocolate. âI- umâŚâ it was very rare to have Harry speechless. He always knew what to say, how to say it, but in this instance he didnât know how to react. âYou⌠Did you-â
âYep.â Y/N nodded. Despite how much she yearned for a lack of awkward, there was no avoiding it.Â
âYou said youâd be gone today.â His tone was accusatory, making irritation flare up in her. Her eyes blazed as they looked up at him. âYou said youâd be at work.âÂ
âI texted you and told you that someone switched shifts with me.â That was no lie, but her voice was hard. Defensive. Because she wasnât going to be blamed for his lack of phone usage. He was usually good with checking texts but some days he slacked, but she texted him and let him know she would be home. It was clear that he saw that when he fished his phone out of his pocket and saw the message on his lock screen, his body deflating and shrinking back as he saw the hard look in her eye. Y/N wasnât usually irritated with him, but she didnât appreciate being called a liar.Â
âFuck.â He said quietly, looking from the phone to her face which was showing obvious signs of discomfort. Harry would never want to make her uncomfortable, and heâd done exactly that with his own oversight. âY/N, Love- Iâm so sorry, I-â
âItâs fine.â She said quickly. âJust⌠clean the couch.â It made her feel gross to think there were traces of someone else, bodily fluids where she liked to take her naps. Even more so because she didnât know how often this had happened.Â
âI-of course. Iâm truly sorry. I didnât see the text, I would have never done anything if I knew you were home-â
âI said it was fine, Harry.â It came out sharper than she intended it to. Obviously it wasnât fine. âI was waiting for a few hours to get something to eat so I didnât interrupt. I just wanted to get my damn snacks and eat them in peace. If youâll excuse me.â Bumping past him, she rushed towards her door and turned the lock, placing the snacks on her desk. That hadnât gone smoothly. Not at all.Â
â-
Harry felt like a piece of shit.Â
It wasnât often that he felt like that, but knowing he had done something that obviously made Y/N uncomfortable. The icky, nasty guilt and shame settled in his stomach as he sat on the couch heâd just steam cleaned, face in his hands. Heâd known it had been a dumb idea to bring a girl back from the gym on a whim. Heâd felt weird about it at first, but heâd been positive Y/N was at work and heâd have time to clean up and whatever before she came home.Â
It was worse considering he chose a common area. Heâd been so fucking horny, and the girl had been more than willing to be the one who relieved him. To be honest, he didnât know her and probably wouldnât ever see her again, but that didnât matter now. The impulsive decision, his lack of awareness and selfishness had gotten him into a mess. This wasnât just his flat. Y/N had been here first, she had bought this couch, and he had been selfish and done something on it that he knew heâd probably be a bit peeved about if she had done the same thing.Â
Truthfully, heâd be hurt if he had to listen to Y/N get fucked. Even more so if he saw it but, he didnât know what she knew. What she saw. It made him panic a little internally because there was no way he could get what he wanted with her now. Heâd fucked up massively and he didnât know how to fix it.Â
His crush on Y/N had been an inconvenience he was truly trying to get over. She made no implications that she liked him back and he had been trying to learn how to be okay with that. How was she ever going to believe that he liked her when she was witness to him fucking all his pent up sexual aggression, aggression she unknowingly caused by walking out in her little sleep shorts this morning riding up her bum, onto another woman? There was no way she was going to take him seriously. His head was beginning to hurt as he tried to think of a way to apologize.Â
Ordering her favorite pizza, he had it delivered to their flat and thanked the man with a tip before placing it on their dining table. The nerves were overrun as he made his way towards her door, the cold panic in his stomach making its way up his throat as he hesitantly raised his knuckles to knock on the door.Â
âLove?â There as a brief silence and he held his breath, hoping he didnât fuck it up enough to the point where she hated him.Â
âYeah?â The hesitant voice was smaller than the one he was used to, making him deflate a little bit. At least she answered.Â
âI um, I got pizza for dinner. Your favorite.â His hands rested against her doorframe as he spoke through the door. âDid you- would you want to come out and eat with me? We can watch a movie or a show.â The attempt was something, at least.Â
âIâŚâ she paused. âIf itâs alright Iâd like to eat in my room. Iâll pay you back for the pizza.â He could almost hear her brain going. âI donât think Iâd like to sit on the couch for a while.â
His stomach dropped. God damn it. He really did make her uncomfortable, enough where she didnât want to eat with him or sit in their living area. He felt his throat thicken, frustration building in his veins that was unfairly aimed at her.Â
âI said I was sorry, Y/N.â He grunted. âWhy donât you want to eat with me? I steamed the couch, itâs safe to sit on now and I just want to fix it. So can you please get over it a little bit and come and eat?âÂ
Of course he regretted it as soon as it came out of his mouth. He hadnât meant to talk to her like that. The frustration was aimed at himself and not her, but it came out all wrong. He heard her hitch in breath as she shuffled on her bed, opening the door to look at him with a blazing glare that made him shrink back. The man had never been in the receiving end of her anger before.Â
âNo, Iâm not going to just get over it, Harry. Walking into my living room and seeing you pound some woman into the couch I like to take my naps on, a couch I bought before you even lived here may I add, is a bit jarring. We had rules about bringing people over and itâs supposed to stay in our rooms. Obviously it doesnât fucking matter when you think Iâm not home and Iâm kind of sick at the thought of what else I may have sat on or slept in because you decided to disrespect me in our home.â She snarled, looking up at him with the severe gaze. âIf you really think all you have to do is buy some pizza and offer to watch a show with me and Iâm just going to forget that youâve gone behind my back, youâd be sorely mistaken. Iâve never lied to you, never once.â The look of betrayal had his stomach turning. âJust⌠leave me alone. Iâm not ready to talk about it.âÂ
He watched as she slammed the door in his face, his body hot with embarrassment as she locked it. A clear sign she didnât want to talk to him and it made him feel even worse than before. The words he said had been out of line and he knew it, but he didnât know how to handle fighting with Y/N. It had never happened until this moment.Â
âIâm sorry. Y/N, I-I donât know why I said that but I just-â
âHarry. I asked you to leave me alone. Can you just respect this one fucking thing?â Her raised voice made him jump, eyes widening at the tone. Being at the receiving end of her anger wasnât something he ever wanted to happen. âJust⌠go eat your pizza and leave me be. Iâm not hungry.âÂ
It stumped him. He didnât know how else to fix it. How could he? She was still very upset and he had fucked up, but what was even worse was knowing that he liked her way more than she liked him and having nothing to prove it by. He had brought home women that looked like her to try and get it out of his system many a time, but it never worked.Â
To her, he was her silly, clumsy, charming friend. He was a shoulder to lean on, maybe. But to him? She was incredible. She was honest, brave, intelligent, witty, and so fucking pretty it was hard to look at her without wanting to touch sometimes.Â
Heâd never made a move because she didnât seem like she was interested. Sheâd never gazed at his mouth the way he knew he looked at hers, she didnât elongate the hugs- he was the one that would let go last. Sheâd been a friend to him when all he could think about was cupping her face and kissing her lips until they were swollen and she was breathless. Heâd gone and mucked up any chance he had with her seeing him as anything more.Â
Going back into the kitchen, he put the pizza into the fridge and returned back into his room. He wasnât hungry anymore. All he was going to be able to focus on was the ability to fix this.Â
ââ-
Y/N knew she was probably overreacting a little bit. It wasnât as if he had killed someone. Heâd broken a rule, yes, but she wasn't a tyrant. It shouldnât matter to her so much, and thatâs what she had been trying to figure out. Why did it?
She just didnât like the answer she came up with.Â
The girl was jealous. That was the thing that she could see, even if she didnât want to. She was jealous because sheâd never been fucked like that, never been touched in that way, talked to that way, and it had never been by Harry. Heâd made her see him in a different light and now she was thinking about him in a way she shouldnât be.Â
Sheâd always loved Harry. He was a friend and her roommate, of course she was going to have fondness for him. It had never seemed like there were any feelings there, nothing had been outwardly there, no jealousy when he spoke of other people, butâŚ. Seeing it? It had been arousing, yes, but after she thought about it for a bit itâd felt like a kick in the stomach. Why had he never tried anything with her before? Was he just that much of a flirt? It wasnât a secret that he liked to fool around but somehow, things in her brain were changing and making her feel irritational.Â
The sexual frustration that came from that was, wellâŚ. Stupidly frustrating. It made her wonder what his hands felt like, what his lips tasted like. If he would treat her the same way, or if he would be gentler. If he would kiss her neck and tell her she was a good girl, that she was taking it so well, if he would smack her ass too. It made her feel guilty that she even thought about him that way.Â
Avoiding him for 3 days was a bit overkill, for sure. But she didnât know how to look him in the face. How could she after all of that? It didnât help that no matter where she tried to bring her fantasies when she would touch herself, it came back to him. The last three days had been plagued by the thought of him grabbing her hair and tugging her head back for a sloppy kiss while he was balls deep, praising her for it.Â
Heâd been sweet about it. Leaving her donuts one morning, flowers another. This morning it had been a hand written note.Â
âY/N
I canât express to you how sorry I am that I broke our rule. I know you donât ask for much of me as a roommate and I promised Iâd uphold them, and I fucked up. I had a lapse in judgment and I regret it a lot more than you can imagine.Â
I donât know how to fix this with us. I want to. I miss you and I miss talking to you but Iâm trying to give you the space you need even if it hurts. I made the mistake and Iâm paying for it.Â
I promise I wonât ever do it again. I wonât bring someone home again, if that could help. Please talk to me when youâre ready. I miss you so much more than you could know. Iâm not trying to buy you over with the gifts but I donât know what else to do without making you uncomfortable. Itâs killing me to know I hurt you at all. Iâve never done it before, though. I promise. Iâve never had anyone else there. It truly was a mistake.Â
Iâll be home at my normal time if you want to talk, Iâm bringing home Italian food. Iâll grab your favorite. Text me if you need, Iâd love to hear from you.
H xxâ
The note sounded genuine. Itâs why she placed a blanket over the couch and sat stiffly as he walked into the door, noticing his double take as he hung up his keys. The bag of food hung off his arm and he looked at her wide eyed, though staying quiet as he went into the kitchen to place it down.Â
âHi.â He started, walking over to her slowly. âD-Did you have a good day?â The nerves could be heard in his voice and it made her sad. She didnât want him to be terribly nervous around her, not when they used to have a really comfortable relationship.Â
âIt was okay.â She murmured, rubbing her hand over her lounge pants. âGot off of work early.â What else was she supposed to say? It was hard to navigate this when sheâd never imagined fighting with Harry at all.Â
âOh? Thatâs good.â He sat on the coffee table in front of her, wanting to face forward when he spoke to her. âI had to stay a tiny bit late. Itâs why I wasnât home on time. Iâm sorry.â His eyes were studying her face, desperate to see forgiveness in her eyes. The last few days without her had felt so empty.Â
âItâs okay.â She shrugged. âFigured something like that happened.â Picking at her nails, she moved to look at him. âIâm not sure how to talk to you right now. Iâm not angry anymore, but I donât know how to go about it.â Y/N, as blunt as ever, made him smile sadly.
âMâcrawling out of my skin. Donât like that I made you upset at all. It was stupid. You read my note?â He anxiously awaited all day a text from her but he hadnât gotten one.Â
âI did.â She took a deep breath. âIâm upset about the couch thing but thereâs layers to it that have been difficult for me to understand. It isnât fair of me to sit and say itâs all your fault I stayed away for the last few days because part of it was me.â It was terrifying to admit things like this but she didnât know how else to be. It would probably make things weird with them, but it had to be discussed or it would ruin their friendship.Â
âHow do you mean?â Brows furrowed as he shifted forward, hands on his knees as he leaned into her space. Heâd always been a touchy person who didnât know what personal space was, so she was used to it but it still made her react. A bit differently this time. âAre you okay?â
âI think so.â It was difficult to look at him without feeling that burn in her stomach. âIt made me look at you differently. A way I hadnât allowed myself to look at you before, and Iâve felt guilty andâŚâ how could she word it? âSlightly perverted for it. Youâre my friend and I shouldnât have let seeing that influence anything other than my upset about the rules, but it made me think of you in a light that friends shouldnât look at other friends.âÂ
Well, he hadnât expected that.Â
He was slowly catching on, watching her shy face as she looked back towards her lap and fiddled with her hands. She looked at him in a sexual way. Thatâs why she was avoiding him. The couch issue was one thing, but she was upset that she was looking at a friend in a way that went past their normal relationship.Â
As fucked up as it may be, he felt a sprinkle of hope. Her postures perked up a bit as he tried to get her eyes again, but he didnât want to assume she wanted anything from him. âThatâs okay, love.â His hand cautiously grabbed one of hers, holding it lax enough that she could pull back if she wanted to. âReally. Thereâs nothing wrong with that at all.â He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand, relief flooding him that the majority of the reason she had been avoiding him was something like this. Something he could remedy. âSo youâve been thinking of me sexually, thatâs what youâre saying?â
Y/N groaned, closing her eyes as her head fell back against her shoulders. âGod, yes. Okay?! And Iâm ashamed of it. I donât know why it happened and why I canât just forget about it but it makes meâŚâit made me annoyed that I havenât felt anything like that before. Iâve never made noises like that and no oneâs ever made me feel like what I assume she was. Iâve always seen you as something else and then, imagine my fucking surprise when I walk in and see you acting like a porn star. Not even one of the bad ones either. It would have been easier if it was!â The floodgates opened and Harry watched with raised brows as she continued, fueling his ego in the process. âI feel guilty pthat I looked at it and wanted to be in that position. I never thought of you like that, not that you arenât amazing and attractive but you were supposed to just be my platonic friend considering weâd roommates. Donât you know how bad it would be to be into your roommate? It makes everything insane.âÂ
âI know how it feels.â He murmured, making her pause. If she was unloading all of this stuff, being honest as honest could be, he figured he may as well. Let it all set out on the table.Â
âWait- what?â She squeaked, looking at him with wide eyes this time. It had been a mistake, she thought, until he shrugged his shoulders.Â
âYeah. Iâve always thought of you like that, but you didnât seem to reciprocate so I tried to get over it. I was distracting myself so I wouldnât fuck up our friendship.â It was his turn to look at his lap, watching his freshly painted thumb run over her knuckles and fiddle with her ring. âAlways worried about making you feel like⌠objectified in your own home. I wanted to be respectful. But do you really think Iâm not attracted to you?â He found the courage to look up again. âIâve been attracted to you since we first met. But youâve always been so nonchalant about everything, I assumed you didnât care.â
Y/N was stumped. Harry was into her? He wanted to touch her this whole time and she had been none the wiser? It made her pause, trying to recount all their memories. Had he always looked at her like this? With the soft glint in his eyes, or with the hunger? Yearning, perhaps was the word. Sheâd never even guessed that in the slightest. Heâs had a revolving door of partners coming over to fuck around, but she thought thatâs just how he was.
âSeriously?â
âSeriously.â He sighed. âI didnât want to make you feel obligated to cater to my feelings. I still donât. If you arenât into me like that, itâs okay. I want our friendship to remain in tact. But I needed to tell you itâs not one sided. You donât have to feel guilty over thinking of me like that considering the only reason I took that girl home was because youâd made me sexually frustrated that morning with those little sleep shorts and coming in for a hug and pressed your sleepy, soft body against me. I needed to get that out.â He knew it didnât make much sense when he said it out loud.Â
âDid it work?â
That hadnât been the response he expected, blinking a few times as he gave her a questioning look. âDid what work?âÂ
âFucking her. Did you get me out of your mind?â She looked at him expectantly and he could feel the heat starting to raise in his cheeks. Heâd expected⌠not this sort of train of thought, but he wasnât about to lie again.Â
âNot really.â He admitted. âI mean⌠in the moment, an orgasm helped. But I wasnât fucking the person I was thinking about.âÂ
This time Y/N blinked a few times at him, trying to catch up mentally. âSoâŚâyou were thinking about me, when youâŚâ
âYes.â Unashamed at this point, there was nothing to lose.Â
âAnd all the things you were saying? You were likeâŚ.â Her eyes fell to his mouth. Pretty and pink, obviously nervously bitten, she had been a little shocked at the revelation. âYou were saying them to me? In your head?â
âBasically.â He could see on her face that she was flustered but chose not to tease her about it like he normally would. âI usually bring people back that look like you. Tried to do people who were the opposite but, it made it harder to cum.â The gloves were off now. There was a shift in the air as she adjusted herself on the couch, pressing her thighs together and desperately hoping he didnât notice.Â
He did.Â
âYou canât⌠finish? Unless you think about me?â It made her eyes stay wide, her grip on his hand tightening slightly out of reflex.Â
âWell⌠I can, but it isnât as good. Usually thatâs where my head goes to. I canât really help it.â Harry came the hardest when he looked at where his cock connected to the other person, imagining it being her cunt he was fucking. Her moans. That the praises that he was saying was heard by her and the clenching and slickness was caused by her reaction to him. It was a bit pathetic and he knew it, but at least it wasnât a secret anymore.Â
âDo you still want to?âÂ
Harryâs head whipped up so fast he knew he must have pulled a muscle, but there wasnât a tract of joking on her face. Was she asking what he thought she was. âDo I still want to fuck you?â He clarified, watching her bother head in response. Fuck. The lump in his throat was swallowed as he tried to reply the best way he could. âOf course I do. Iâve been thinking about it for ages but⌠itâs not just about sex with you.â It was much more than that. âI actually like you. Iâd want⌠I wouldnât want to have sex once and be done with it. Iâd want to properly take you out at some point.â It was a bit unorthodox considering they already lived together but he wouldnât want to give her any less than she deserved.Â
âOkay.â She said softly. âWe can do that.âÂ
His head was spinning. Y/N was so casual about it, not hesitant at all in her agreement to basically be something with him. It felt like he was in a dream, but the frantic beats of his heart made him understand he was very much awake. âYeah?â He leaned in closer. âYouâd want to do it all with me?â The voice was hushed even though there was no one else around.Â
Tonight was full of surprises, it seemed, when the girl got up from the couch and made the move to straddle his lap. His hand was quick to wrap around her to make sure she didnât fall, but his body burned as she ran a hand through his hair and he tilted it up to look at her. Theyâd never been this close before and he was already growing in his pants, making him shiver as she leaned down to brush her nose against his. âYeah. Iâd like to go on a date with you, too butâŚâ she took a moment to rub it against his own, back and forth. Making his eyes hood a bit as his arm shifted to pull her closer to him, desperate for the contact. âI want you to fuck me, first. Make me cum harder than the other girl did. I want to make those noises, H.â She whispered.Â
Harry didnât need to be told twice. Not when she was sitting right on his lap, presenting herself like the perfect little present. Willing and eager for the taking. Leaning himself up, he caught her lips in a gentle kiss. Trying to pace himself, though he could feel the self control slipping from his grip as she hummed into his mouth. This was he shit he had been dying for, feeling her fingers slip from his hair to the back of his neck as he pulled apart to take a breath. âIâll do whatever you want, sweetheart. Anything.âÂ
Back again their lips were attached. It wasnât as gentle, no, not when she kissed him harder. He was going to give into anything she wanted. Not only because he had fucked up, but because he wanted to make her happy. He was desperate to please her, to make her feel as good as she possibly could and he wanted to be the one responsible for it.Â
Their kissing escalated quickly, groaning as she easily opened her mouth for him and even more so when she sucked on his tongue, making arousal zip up his spine. Heâd never expect her to kiss like this, not in the slightest. The expectation had been soft and hesitant, but she was giving him the kisses in his wet dreams. His hand found her ass, palming over it before giving a squeeze, making a moan muffle against his mouth. âTake me to your room.â She whispered against his lips. âPlease, H. Just take me there. I want these off.â Fingers tugged at his shirt, trying to get it off.Â
Who was he to deny her?Â
He helped her toss it off before grabbing her and standing up, chuckling when she squeaked his name and scrambled to hold on to him with her arms around his neck. âSaid Iâd give you whatever you wanted, love.âÂ
The walk there was short, but it took an even shorter time to get her on his bed with her top off. She wasnât wearing a bra, much to his surprise and delight. The fabric was tossed to the side of his bed as his pupils dilated, looking down at her topless body. Something he had been dreaming about for ages, and here she was. Sitting pretty in his sheets, hair messy and lips swollen from kissing him. âYouâre so fucking gorgeous.â He drawled, running his hands down her sides. âSo beautiful. Yâknow that? Drives me fucking mad.â His fingers were greedy, crawling back up to her collarbones and back down to the curves of her breasts. âBeen dying to see you.â
Y/N took his wrists, guiding his hands to cup her breasts. She was impatient and that much was obvious, but it made him amused more than anything else. His eager girl. âTouch me. Please.â Her eyes matched the pleading in her voice, making him smile. This sort of begging heâd never expected from her, not with her usual strong will and blunt demeanor but he couldnât say he hated it.Â
âIâm going to, lovely. Itâs all I want to do.â He soothed, thumbing across her nipples. She arched into it, letting out a soft sound as he did so. It seemed like once the wall had cracked, it was deteriorating quickly right in front of his eyes. Heâd be the one to get to see her like this now after pining for it, and he knew she would be the best. Anyone else had been filler, as cruel as it sounded. He was respectful towards them, honest about only wanting to hook up once, because he knew that no matter how hard he tried to imagine nothing would beat he real thing.Â
And heâd been right.Â
No one else affected him so quickly, so intensely. Watching her mouth fall open as he moved to pinch both of her nipples lightly and tug, she whimpered into the air and gave him a look he wanted to commit to memory. He wanted to see that face every time he closed his eyes.Â
âMy lovely girl⌠donât need to beg me to touch you, because you know I will⌠but.â He leaned down to kiss her again. âI do like the sound of your voice while you beg for me.âÂ
His hands moved from her breasts regretfully, clicking his tongue to hush her whine of protest as he hooked his fingers into her lounge pants. Pulling them down, he was met with a beautiful picture- a filthy one. His eyes shot to hers, narrowing slightly. âNo fucking panties either? Y/N.â He hissed between his teeth. âAre you always walkinâ around like this? Nothing on underneath?â She nodded quickly, kicking the pants off of her ankles.Â
âHate them.â The girl huffed. âSo constricting. I donât wear them when I donât have to.âÂ
His eyes closed for a moment, groaning at the information. âSo every time youâve been sitting there with me, watching one of those movies⌠I could have slipped my hand down your shorts and felt how wet you get for me?â He questioned, looking down at her. His fingers tugged at his belt, tossing it haphazardly as his eyes stayed pinned to hers as he continued undressing. âYouâre telling meâŚ. You prance around here in those little cotton shorts, and youâre bare under them? Could have just⌠tugged them down and gotten to see that pretty pussy?â
âMhm.â She grinned, liking the reaction she was getting. âEverything you said. I donât usually wear them at home.â Her fingers dragged down her stomach, stopping at the mound right above her cunt. âMakes it easier when I want to touch myself, too. Less layers.âÂ
Harry took a deep breath, watching her hand as it slipped further down to cover her cunt. It was wet, there no was no hiding it. He could see it clearly, and his cock was aching to bury itself in there and let it squeeze every drop of cum from him. He tried to collect himself as he looked down at her, watching her fingers spread herself open for a moment before swirling over her clit with a whimper.Â
His hand shot out and grabbed her wrist, a dark look on his face. âNot yet. Thatâs my job tonight.â He warned, falling to his knees in front of her. Clad just in his briefs, he hooked his arms under her thighs and pulled her close to him, so close that he could almost taste her. Instead, he kissed her inner thighs. Soft, sweet. Gentle in the way he had always wanted to be with her before her fucked her and made her hopefully as addicted to him as he knew he was going to be to her. âYou okay with this, love? Tell me you want me to have you.â Lips pressed on the soft mound above her cunt. âTell me I can.âÂ
âPlease, Iâm okay. I want you to have me, you can do anything you want. Just⌠touch me. Please, H.â Her hips tried to move up and catch his mouth, Y/N showing no sign of embarrassment as she did so. He felt a surge of pride, knowing she wanted him that badly. Her body was perfect for him, every dip and curve and scar soon to be memorized. Heâd call off of work tomorrow to spend the day in bed with her, pampering and spoiling not only herself, but his innermost desires.Â
âSuch good manners.â He cooed, shifting her closer as he took his first lick. âRemember what I said about begging, yeah?âÂ
It was all bets off. Y/N could barely breathe as she felt his mouth on her. Slowly licking up her and tongue finding her clit, flicking over it and repeating the process. His hand held her lower tummy, keeping her still as he continued. Her breathing was already picking up when he felt his tongue dip into her, making her grip fall from her own thighs to his hair. âOh my god, Harry. That-â she couldnât finish her sentence as he did it again, nuzzling into her without a care in the world.
It was true. He wanted his face messy and wet with her, wanted to bury himself in there and feel her stomach jump as his hand held her down. He was tasting her directly from the source. âTaste so good.â He mumbled against her. âMy favorite thing to taste now. You know that?â He took another broad sweep of his tongue, looking into her eyes as he pursed his lips and spit on her clit. He smirked at the little gasp she let out, head dipping back down to spread it over her cunt as she began to move her hips to chase his tongue. âNo, baby. None of that. Stay still for me.â He coaxed, pressing down harder on her stomach to pin her to the bed.Â
Y/N tried, she really did. But it felt so good, so fucking amazing- and then he added his fingers into the mix. Slipping one in slowly, she let out a noise she didnât recognize. Of course she knew this was going to feel good, but she vastly underestimated how crazy he was going to make her. âHarry please⌠fuck.â Truthfully? She didnât even know what she was begging for. Her mouth fell open again and she arched her back as she felt his mouth over her clit, sucking in in messily while his finger fucked into her. It was impossible to stay still. âHarry, more. I want more, please, Iâm gonna cum if youâŚ.â She lost her train of thought when he added another finger.Â
The man was eating this up. Watching her as she tried to keep still for him but feeling her fingers curl in his hair and press him further against her clit, he sucked harded the more she pushed. Finding a good rhythm as his pulsing sucking had her panting, toes curling into the sheet as he continued the pleasure filled torture. He wanted to feel her cum on his tongue.Â
âCum.â He ordered. âDo it for me, precious girl. Câmon.â He finally allowed her to move, rubbing herself on his face as his fingers fucked and curled into her, his mouth latched to her puffy, swollen clit. She felt crazy, she was sure of it, writhing on the mattress as the heat crawled up her body. His eyes were directly on her, hot and dark while she felt herself fall over the edge.Â
âHarry- Harry, oh my fucking god.â She couldnât breathe, repeating his name like it was air as she fell over the edge. White hot pleasure washing over her, orgasm soaking his face as he pulled up and kissed her hard. Her body still shook as he pulled himself out of his briefs and began to push in, feeling her still orgasming pussy quivering around him. âYou just- please.â Her eyes opened frantically, fingers finding his back as she pulled him in. Legs wrapped around his waist as he sunk in deeper, filling her up in ways she hadnât felt before.Â
âI know, baby. I know.â He cooed. âYou feel⌠so good around me. Just let me in.â He cupped her face, pressing soft kisses to her mouth. âIâm going to take you all fucking night. You know that?â His voice was a deeper tone than sheâd even heard him with the other girl. Feeling it directed at her only amplified the arousal. âNot going to last long, feeling you and taste you⌠itâs all Iâve ever wanted. Almost came just licking you out.â He told the truth. Y/N was perfect, he thinks. Exactly what he needed.Â
âI want it all.â She replied, pulling his face down further to kiss him deeper. âSo much. I want you to do anything to me. JustâŚâ her legs tugged him in deeper, making them both groan. âJust fuck me, Harry. Itâs me this time.â It boosted her ego to know he had been searching for her this entire time. âItâs not someone you have to pretend with. Youâve wanted me this whole time? Show me.â Her nails dragged down his back, making him shiver. âFuck me like you own me.â
Something in that triggered something in him, something heâd been hiding all along. Kissing her hard to shut her up, he slid out of her to ram back in. Jolting her, she cried out against his lips as he did it again. Hard thrusts paired with a grind at the end, pulling out slowly only to repeat it. Sheâd never been fucked like this- so purposefully. âYes- like that, H.â The girl whimpered. âPlease. Use me. Have me.âÂ
âYeah? You want to be mine?â He asked, wild eyes looking into her own as he pressed his forehead against hers, not caring about the stickiness of their sweat. âDo you know how long Iâve been dying to be wrapped up by your cunt? Hm?â He spoke against her lips, smiling drunkenly as she whimpered with his intent thrusts. âSince I first saw you. Wanted to drag you to your bed and fill you up. Make you cry for me. And every day since⌠It's been growing.â The desire for her has grown to something he hadnât ever thought possible. It was hard to ignore. Thank god he never had to ignore it again. âEvery day, I thought about pulling you into my arms and kissing you until you couldnât breathe. You think anyone else could ever compare to you?â He shook his head to answer his own question. âNo. No one. Not anyone Iâve taken home, not the girl from the other day⌠no one has made me feel as good as this.âÂ
Harry had always loved sex, but when he met Y/N and developed the attraction and then feelings for her, heâd been chasing a high that couldnât be provided by anyone else. This, this was exactly what he needed. âNeed to stay inside of you, sweet girl. Need to⌠fuck.â Some hair fell into his face as his thrusts sped up just slightly. It was hard to think when her walls were contracting around him, so slick and hot that it made him dizzy. âNeed to cum in you and do it again⌠and again.â He knew she was on birth control considering heâd gone with her to get the implant. They were safe, but that didnât stop him for perhaps wishing it wasnât. âJust want to make you mine, my sweet fucking girlâŚ.â His head lulled forward as he looked down to watch them.Â
It was a filthy sight. His bare cock pulling out, glistening with her arousal and mess. Her cunt stretching open, her lips puffy and wet just for him. He was doing this. He was filling her up, he was making her cling to him, and he was finally inside the one person heâd never thought he could have. âLook at how good we are together. Look with me, baby.â He pulled her up slightly, holding the back of her neck to let her see the filthy sight. His prick spreading her while the wet, puffy lips of her cunt as he filled her. âTouch yourself. Rub that clit for me.âÂ
Y/N did as requested, finding it quickly as she watched the now slower thrusts inside of her. It made her smug, really. Knowing that he was this enthralled with her. Also, the knowledge that he was losing his mind far more over her than he had the other girl. He was obsessed with her and she could visibly see it.Â
âThere we go.Pretty, pretty fucking girl. Youâre all I want. This body, that mouth, Sâall I dream about. Just want you in my bed, want to get rid of those damn rules so I can take you on every damn surface⌠please let me, angel. Please.â He pleaded. âNo more rules. Only want you.â
âNo more rules.â She nodded, finding the pleasure building back up. Her hand rubbing her already sensitive and puffy clit, watching as her arousal began to make a creamier mess on his cock, she was in awe of how perfect they looked together. âH⌠youâre gonna make me cum.âÂ
Harry smiled, a real smile that took her breath away. âThank god. Iâm trying to hold on for you, but mâso close.â He let her lay back down, leaning over her and speeding the pace back up as he sucked a nipple into his mouth. It was hard to focus on one thing when heâd been dying for this situation for a year. He had his dream girl wrapped around his cock.Â
Fingers found his hair again as she arched into his mouth, mewling as he sucked over her nipple and fucked into her at a steady speed. He was hitting right where he needed to, her fingers rubbing circles on her clit. It was messy and wet and so perfect, it was hard to keep herself together. âPlease.â She whined. âPlease, can I cum? Let me cum, I need to. I want you in me and I want to feel your cum inside me, mark me, make me yours.â She pleaded, feeling him pull off her other nipple with a pant.
âDonât have to hold back from me. Mâgonna go right after you, just want you to feel good. Let go for me, my good girl. Iâm yours, always have been. Youâre already mine.â His nose brushed hers, moving her hand to take over rubbing her clit. He did it faster, a bit more pressure and that little difference with his permission was all it took for her to let go.
Harry felt it as she did. The pulsing of her cunt, the slickness growing and the way her mouth went lax, not able to kiss but only breath him in as she tumbled into the pleasure. Her legs tightened around him, nails digging into the back of his neck as her eyes fell closed, the prettiest moan vibrated against his lips.Â
It pushed him right off the edge with her. Thrusts growing sloppy, he didnât lighten up with his hand as he felt her contracting around him, sopping wet and tight for him as he felt his balls tighten and unload into her. His deep groan was loud, louder than heâd anticipated as he kissed her to try and muffle it. He could feel himself throbbing as her cunt sucked him in, greedy for it as the pulsating of her walls drew each ribbon of cum into her. She was coated, and he underestimated just how much he had as it began to spill out of her as he filled her to the brim.Â
âOh my god.â He whispered. âFuck me, baby. Youâre perfect.â It was a bit of disbelief that coated his tone. Lips fell all over her face, pressing soft pecks over her cheeks, her chin, nose, eyelids, forehead, everywhere he could get it as he tried to get his breathing back to normal. It was the hardest heâd ever came, and he still felt shaky from it as he stayed buried in her. Where he belonged. Y/N melted under the kisses, smiling wide as her eyes peeled open to look at him. Dark eyes and flushed face, messy hair she continued to drag her fingertips into. One fell from the softness, cupping his chin and pulling it back to her mouth for a proper kiss. It seemed to make him melt as well, sagging slightly on top of her despite being mindful of his weight on her body.Â
Harry knew this was the start of something much bigger than either of them could have anticipated- and it all started because of his silly mistake. Heâd finally gotten the one he wanted. No more pretending with anyone else. He had the real thing at home.Â
Y/N nudged his nose with hers, feeling so many things her head felt overwhelmed. But the most important question had to be asked. âSo. When can we do it again?â
#jarofstyles#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles one shot#harry styles fanfic#harry styles smut#harry writing#harry styles imagine#harry drabble#harry styles blurb#harry styles writing#harry angst#harry styles angst#harry styles fluff#harry fluff#harry smut#harry styles fanfics#harry styles oneshots#harry styles au#harry styles fanfictions#harry styles one shots#harry styles fic#one direction smut
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Just My Type
FT. Jonathan Joestar, Joseph Joestar, Jotaro Kujo, Josuke Higashikata, & Giorno Giovanna
Pt. 1 | Pt. 2
WARNINGS: Sexually explicit content under cut. Minors and ageless blogs dni. Fem!Reader. Stalking, panty stealing, inappropriate use of stands, pervy jojos, masturbation, accurate to their individual timelines. Don Giorno and Cop Josuke. NOT PROOFREAD!!
SUMMARY: Perv headcanons for the JoJoâs up through part five. Might make one for the JoBros-
JONATHAN JOESTAR
Out of all of them, he feels the most guilt
Heâs a gentleman, after all
First it starts out with him eyeing your body, taking subtle peeks throughout the day
It then escalates to him brushing against you gently, and it kills him
Thereâs not much he can do outside of watching you and getting off to you before bed
SPEAKING OF THAT-
He humps his pillow
God heâs so desperate and needy too
Especially when you have no idea. For whatever reason, it makes his heart swell
But he feels so bad about it. What if you ever found out? What would you do? Do you feel the same way about him??
Once saw you riding your horse and was genuinely never the same after that
There was something about how determined you looked, with that wistful look in your eyes that just turned him on
Heâs so down bad that he asked Dio for advice
âGet her drunk and convince her to stay. Sheâs stupid enough anyways.â âGrope her⌠duhâŚâ
Dio does NOT give two shits about wether not his advice is legal
However, Jonathan follows through with the alcohol one
Itâs his only chance to get close to you outside of studying alongside you
And to his surprise, you come over and share some wine with him
Thankfully, you wind up getting tipsy first, which gives him the chance to make his move
âAh, y/n. Itâs not safe for you to travel back to your estate in such a condition. Allow me to provide you with somewhere to spend the night.â
He lets you stay in his bed, and even convinces you to wear his clothes to bed
Snuck into the room while you were asleep and just watched you
Oh how he wanted to touch you, to feel you, but he couldnât. It felt like he couldnât do anything about his feelings for you and it bothered him so
Also practically ruined his clothes once he got them back. (Listen man sometimes itâs hard to get cum stains out-)
Dio never lets him hear the end of it and proceeds to give him shitty advice
JOSEPH JOESTAR
Iâve said it before and Iâll say it again- this man is a WHOREâźď¸
He has no shame whatsoever and refuses to keep his feelings for you a secret
In fact, you can barely tell if heâs kidding or not when he hits on you
He steals your clothing
Shirts? Gone. Bras? Never to be seen again. Panties? Oh heâll steal them, ruin them, and then slip them back into your dresser when heâs over
He loves the idea of getting away with it, and it turns him on to know that youâre just as clueless as ever
Slips pictures of himself into your house, leaving them on the counter to make you think of him
Honestly thinks heâs so smooth (Caesar thinks heâs fucking weird)
Has no problem with smacking your ass out of the blue
Also really likes to pick you up and bury his face in your chest
Has collected various photos of you and gets off to them almost every night
Like itâs just a pic of you smiling and heâs hard as hell
While Jonathan whimpers and begs, Joseph moans and mutters
On the loudness scale heâs about 13/10
He does not give a flying FUCK about who hears him
Talks dirty while he fucks his hand, closing his eyes to picture your beautiful face between his legs, smiling up at him
Yeah he likes to take sneak peeks of you in the bath, so what?!
Does all of this with the mentality of âsheâll be mine eventually, so Iâm entitled to a head start-â
JOTARO KUJO
Feels a little guilty about it at first, but never feels that way ever again once he gets ahold of a Polaroid of you in a bikini
Carries that shit around with him EVERYWHERE
He has also collected various photos of you, and has a mini photo album thatâs dedicated to pictures of you smiling
Sorry but I think heâs into dacryphilia
Sure he loves to see you happy and enjoying yourself, but he just thinks you look so pretty when you cry
He fucking loves it when you come to him in tears, taking it as his chance to wrap his arm around you and bring you in closer to him
He constantly tells you that youâre annoying, but would smash you in a heartbeat
Enemies to lovers bs but heâs in love with you from the start
He prefers to steal your bras over anything else (he seriously has a thing for tits-) and DOES NOT give them back until they stop smelling like you
He also (occasionally) steals your shirts and replaces them with his own. The idea of you walking around in one of his shirts when itâs too big for you really gets him going
Loves to take you out for drinks and then escort you back home
Even better if youâre a lightweight
It gives him a reason to carry you back to your place and tuck you in bed
Once found your âspecial drawerâ while snooping around and fucking stole your vibrator
Granted, he bought you a much better one and snuck it into your drawer, but you were pissed when you noticed itâs absence
He has, and will continue to, use Star Platinum/The World to stop time and get his hands on you
Even if itâs just for a few seconds, heâll be thinking about it all day
Oh god and Star Platinum loves you too
Grabs and holds you. 10/10 cuddler, even if Jotaro is incredibly embarrassed
Youâve always just seen it as âJotaroâs lonely sideâ and nothing more, so you donât tell off Star
Star has been known to sneak away from Jotaro just to hang out with you
If you and Joot ever end up sharing a hotel room together for any reason, Star will hump you in your sleep
Now, Jotaro lets out low grunts and moans, but is typically quiet when getting off. STAR PLATINUM???? Fucking whimpers and whines like thereâs no tomorrow
This man is hanging on by a thread
JOSUKE HIGASHIKATA
Man
On the guilt scale, heâs second place for sure
Feels HORRIBLE
But is also like his dad with the âyoloâ mentality
Steals your shirts and shorts, sleeps in them (even if theyâre too small), and refuses to give them back
Like your clothes just keep vanishing and youâre like ???
Has used Crazy Diamond to sneak into your place and has no real intentions of stopping
Has a shit ton of photos of you sleeping hidden away in his room
Really just wants to hear you call him a good boy
When heâs needy, he is NEEDY. Humps his pillow, whimpers, whines, the whole ass package
His hand just isnât enough for him anymore
Unlike his father, heâs not brave enough to get close to you or touch you. My guy canât even hug you without turning a bright shade of red
Oh and if you come over to play games with him, heâs a total goner
Absolute mess of a man
Canât do shit without being embarrassed, so heâs a lot less weird than the others
But by god what he would give to hear you call him a good boy
Itâs like his one dream
Rohan once used Heavenâs Door on him to get more dirt on him and has (some) no regrets. Will never let Josuke hear the end of it.
âOhoho you like y/n? Josuke you good for nothing pervert. Give the woman a break.â
Prays that one day youâll be in trouble and heâll be the officer sent out to save you
GIORNO GIOVANNA
Heâs one second away from going full blown yandere
You canât change my mind
Heâs got everything he needs at his fingertips, and could easily take you away without having to lift a finger
Openly flirts with you, but treats you with such respect that you canât tell if heâs just being nice or not
Also spoils you
Buys you anything heâs ever seen you take interest in
Even if you donât really want it, it WILL show up at your door eventually
Makes sure to sign his gifts to you so you donât forget who it is thatâs spoiling you like this
Kisses your hand and cheeks in a way that he claims is platonic
Loves it when you trust him enough that you can come to him for anything. Gossip? Do tell. Something bothering you? Just let him know and heâll have it all sorted out in no time
I shit you not he makes you sit on his lap while you tell him about your day
You think itâs because the two of you are such good friends, but he actually just loves the sight of you pressed against him
His voice gets higher pitched when he gets off, and he begs a version of you that doesnât exist to let him cum, pleading with you over and over
Eventually, heâll start to feel bad about it, but heâd much rather live in the moment
#you can tell which ones I like the most#Iâm living for perv Jotaro#jojoâs bizarre adventure#x reader#jjba x reader#jojo smut#jjba smut#jotaro x reader#jotaro kujo smut#jotaro imagine#jotaro kujo#jonathan joestar#jojo's bizarre adventure#jojoâs bizzare adventure x reader#jonathan joestar x reader#jonathan joestar smut#joseph joestar#joseph joestar x reader#joseph joestar smut#josuke higashikata#josuke higashikata x reader#josuke smut#giorno giovanna#giorno giovanna x reader#giorno x reader#josuke x reader#giorno giovanna smut#giorno smut#star platinum#star platinum x reader
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An Education in Malice â Part Seven
Pairing: Vanserra!Reader x Azriel
Summary: With the sharp tongue of your notorious family, you are Azriel's most tantalizing challenge yet. It only takes one small meeting before you both realize that the line between hate and desire is dangerously thin.
Warnings: brief mentions of abuse, beron being a pos, deep self-reflection for both az & reader, a conversation, a confession, and a turning point
Word Count: 5.6k
a/n: this is not properly proofread yet, i couldnt bring myself to read it fully since i was getting self-critical and wouldve never posted
Part Six | Series Masterlist
⚠✠𧡠âśâš
The early morning mist still clung to the open fields as you crossed them. Eris stood alone in the expanse, throwing a ball for his hounds. The movement was fluid and practiced, and you found your mind wandering to memories of decades prior â- memories where Eris stood in the same spot, throwing the same ball at younger pup versions of the dogs. Laney trotted beside you as you approached, her pace quickening as she saw the others.
A brisk chill made you pull your coat tighter, but the fabric did little to ward off the cold. It was always peaceful out here, away from the burdens and bustle of the court itself, and Autumn mornings had a cool air that made you feel real, made your skin feel alive.
Erisâs eyes were already on you as you approached him, eyebrows raising momentarily as you took a stand next to him. You mirrored the action back to him, crossing your arms and pulling them tight against your body.Â
âWhatâs that look for?â
He gave a casual shrug. "Surprised you've spared some time for me in your incredibly busy schedule.â
You scowled. âYouâre so dramatic.â
He chuckled, a low sound that seemed to vibrate through the crisp air, and his lips twitched upwards in amusement at your annoyance. âYouâve been gone a lot.â
Your gaze bounced around his face. He seemed tiredâ more so than usual, and the freckles on his nose seemed to be less prominent with the lack of color in his skin. You casted an absentminded glance towards the overcast sky before meeting your brother's eyes again.Â
âHave I?â
Eris hummed. âYou have.â
He pulled at the cuffs of his sleeves.
âIâm surprised you noticed,â you said, âYouâve been really busy too.â
Your answer pulled another raise of his brows.Â
âOf course I noticed,â he said, a teasing glint in his eyes that matched the amusement in his tone. âIt was so quiet here without you terrorizing everyone.â
You rolled your eyes and Eris grinned at his own words, a look of satisfaction rolling through his features as you scowled deeper.Â
âYouâre not funny,â you said.Â
He let out a wistful sigh. âOn the contrary, little sister,â he mused, âIâm hilarious.â
You threw him a withering glare and his grin widened. He nudged his shoulder against yours. A few hounds scampered back to him, Flint proudly carrying a small red ball in his slobbering jaws. Laney bounded alongside, followed closely by four hounds.
Eris moved gracefully, bringing his body down into a squat to offer a flat palm to Flint. The ball landed in his hand with a small thud.
"The male youâre sleeping with, do you care for him?"
Erisâs voice was so calm, so casual, that you almost didnât catch what heâd asked you. He didnât bother to look at you.Â
You took a sharp intake of breath, looking down at him with widened eyes. âWhat?â
Eris stood up straight as he tossed the ball back into the distance effortlessly. You watched the hounds race after it, Laney's determined strides putting her ahead of the pack as they joined the others in the field. When you looked back at Eris, he was studying youâ waiting for your response.
âWell?â
Your heartbeat quickened and you frowned, pulling your arms tighter against your chest. "What are you talking about?"
He raised an eyebrow, casually pulling a small handkerchief from his pocket to wipe his hands. "Did you think I wouldn't find out?"
You stared at him, feeling a knot of tension tighten in your chest. Your nails dug into your skin through the fabric of your coat. Eris continued, his voice steady. "You've done a great job at covering the scent. But you can't fool me. Don't forget who taught you those tricks."
His eyes were simmering as they met yours again, the amber in them flickering with something guardedâ something concerned. You took a steadying breath as you weighed your options. The easiest one was to deny that there was any male at all, to attempt to outplay your brother at the one game he knew best. But it would be foolish to believe that could truly work. Your mind raced again.
The best lies are the ones with truth, Eris always said, you can get away with anything if you approach it right, if you take control of the conversation.Â
You let out a breath. âI was hoping you wouldnât find out.â
Truth.
He maintained his heavy gaze. "Is it one of my soldiers?"
You grimaced at his words, letting your face fall into one of slight disgust. "You'd really want to know if I was sleeping with one of your men?"
Take control of the conversation.
The words seem to hit their target as Erisâs lips formed a deep frown. His nose scrunched as he processed the words. He gave you a dismissive hand wave. âNevermind.â
You gave him a tight-lipped smile. âThatâs what I thought.â
A moment of silence passed but Erisâs gaze didnât leave your face. You forced yourself to look into the distance, to watch the hounds as they chased each other in the grass.Â
"You didn't answer me.â
You took a breath. "About what?"Â
"Do you care for him?"
The words ran through you in a wave, one entirely too heavy for your liking.Â
Months ago, the answer would have been obviousâ so obvious that the question itself wouldâve seemed like a sick joke. Months ago, it would've been instant. No. You did not care for Azriel. He could've died and you would've celebrated; wouldâve laughed at the idea of karma finally finding its way to the family you disliked so heavily.Â
But something in you had changed recently, changed in a way that made you hesitate at your answer.Â
You and Azriel hadn't slept together in weeks. And even those times had been a physical release, something meaningless yet sickly sweet. Yet, the moments since had become even more intimateâthe times you caught yourself joking with him, caught your own lingering gaze on his form.Â
Youâd gone back for himâ and youâd repeated that moment in your head multiple times since, thinking back to that tug you felt in your chest, the strange guilt you felt the minute youâd winnowed away. Youâd gone back and fought alongside him, had managed to heal him in a way you'd never been able to do for Eris, never been able to do even for yourself.
You looked at your brother and let out a sharp breath of air.Â
"No. I donât."Â
The words felt forced, strained, and you worried that Eris would see through it entirelyâ would force you to admit a truth you werenât sure existed. But he only narrowed his eyes, tilted his head, and then nodded.Â
âGood,â he said, âThat would only make matters worse.â
There was something in his tone that made you run cold and you turned your body to face him, watching as his eyes shifted impatiently, the action almost nervous.Â
âEris,â you said cautiously, âWhat is it?â
A flicker of something ran through his face, something that looked awfully like guilt, like sadness.Â
âY/nâ he began, but you lifted a hand up, shaking your head at his attempts to soften the conversation, to gently lead into whatever topic had him so bothered.
âDonât,â you said firmly. âDonât do that. Donât use that voice. Iâm not a child to be soothed. Tell me.â
Eris sighed. âHeâs entertaining the idea of marrying you off to garner more support.âÂ
A name wasnât needed as your stomach dropped and your hands fell slack at your sides. âNo,â you said, shaking your head. âThatâs not true.â
Erisâs shoulders slumped. âItâs why Iâve been so busy. I looked into it. Itâs true.â
A strange buzzing sensation began to fill your ears. You shook your head as if to clear it, as if the words Eris would say next could change the ones he had already said.
âNo,â you repeated firmer. âBrides are taken at their prime, when they become of age. Iâve been of age for centuries. I- No.â
Eris stepped closer. âHeâs seeing it as a way to strengthen inner-court allies, to consolidate power in a more immediate way. Access to our bloodline is an incredible link to influence, any of his men will take the chance.â
Your chest constricted as the words sank in and you felt your hands begin to tremble, felt an unsteady flicker at your fingertips. You met Erisâs gaze, eyes wide, breathing heavy.Â
âHeâs punishing me.â
Eris swallowed hard and his eyes filled with a deep, unspoken sorrow. He nodded, unable to find the right words.Â
âJust give me some time,â Eris finally said, pulling you in by your shoulder. He lowered his head to meet your gaze, his voice falling to a softer, lower tone. âIâll figure something out, okay? I-I just need some time.â
It seemed as if he was trying to convince himself of his own words too. So you only nodded, looking into the distance once more, eyes tracing the circles the hounds ran around each other.
Even in the open air, in this freedom, they were still petsâ still animals that were owned, bred throughout history for a singular purpose.Â
Youâd never realized how much you had in common until now.Â
⚠✠𧡠âśâš
He stepped out of the bath, feeling as the water trailed down his form and the tension in his muscles eased. The steam swirled around him, briefly shrouding him in a comforting fog, and his shadows followed his movements slowlyâ leisurely.Â
Azrielâs wing was healed now and he thought of you whenever he moved it. He remembered how he had slipped into unconsciousness at your touch, how your focused, almost tender face was the last thing he saw before succumbing to the darkness. He thought of you in the moonlight, thought of how your voice softened as you talked about Lucien. Most of all, he thought about the words heâs said himself, words intended to be an apologyâ- a compliment, even. And how youâd recoiled at them as if he had injured you gravely.
He dressed slowly, his mind being lured in every direction but ultimately falling back to you. Azriel glanced down at his hands, at the scars that marred his skin. Amongst his burns were scars from battles, from missions, and if he squinted hard enough, he could envision the blood that stained them still, even after the liquid had been washed off.Â
Every act he committed was etched into his skin, acts done out of loyalty, out of a need to protect those he loved; a need to be important, to be anything but weak.Â
Azriel had felt at sea recently, lost even in his own court. He felt like a failure as he watched Rhysandâs worry about Koschei grow throughout the days. He was a spymasterâ a warrior. Yet nothing he did seemed to help. His family was restless, on edge, and he felt a bitter pang as his shadows updated him on their every move. Feyre and Rhys had learned to soothe Nyx at night and Cassian and Nesta had begun planning their mating ceremonyâsomething large, grand, and worth her time. He didnât even want to think of Elain, to think of her alongside the brother that even Azrielâs shadows had grown to like.Â
He was happy for them. At least, he told himself so. But he couldnât shake his feeling of unease, as if he was on unsettled ground. Beneath it all was a sickening sense of jealousy. Everyoneâ even Amrenâ had found a purpose, had even found a love that softened them. Azriel hadnât.Â
Maybe that was why he liked the way he felt when he met with you, liked how it had given him a sense of purposeâ even if he disliked what that purpose was for. He felt a clarity now, a focus he hadnât felt in a long time.Â
It seemed like a sick joke from the Mother, to give him a sense of purpose when he was alongside you, to find satisfaction in helping you support Eris, the very male Azriel despised with every fiber of his being. If he had grown to respect you in some form, did that mean he respected Eris, too?Â
The thought made him want to vomit.Â
It was becoming far too easy for you to cloud his thoughts, to overshadow any duties or obligations he had. Normally he would fight against it, burying himself in work, training, anything to keep his mind occupied. But today, he welcomed it, indulged in the sweet sin of your face in his mind. His shadows drifted around him, whispering in his ears the very things he knew himself. He was beginning to feel seen in a way he hadnât felt before, by eyes that had seen the same life as him.Â
And it terrified him as much as it comforted him.Â
⚠✠𧡠âśâš
You didnât have time, as it turned out.
Beron had moved into preparations swiftlyâfaster than you or Eris anticipated. One night he found you, his eyes gleaming with a cruel satisfaction that had Laney preparing to bear her teeth at him in a snarlâ you were grateful he didnât notice, grateful that she listened to your commands.
âYou finally have a purpose to fulfill,â he declared. âI never understood why the Mother cursed me with a daughter as my final kin, but now I understand.â
Youâd felt your identity slipping away as soon as he growled those words. In the days since, he forced your mother to tightly pull back your hair each night, to help dress you as a prized calf and parade you at his events for Autumnâs most influentialâ most cunningâfigures. They eyed you with calculating, hungry interest, deciding whether you were suitable for themselves or their sons.Â
You sat at a table now, the only female among a sea of men. Your mother was never allowed at events like this, never really seen unless she was forced to cling to your fathers arm like a piece of fine jewelry. The plate of food in front of you was half the size of the portions heaped on the plates of the males surrounding you. If you had the energy, you wouldâve found it funny. But you didnât.Â
You felt like a prey in a pack of savage beasts, their eyes raking over you with a hunger that made you feel sick; made you feel dirty, as if you were covered in a grime you could never fully wash off.
Beron leaned over and placed his hand over yours. Instantly, you clenched and straightened, a wave of revulsion washing over you in a tide. His grip tightened and he leaned in further, lips curling into a sickening, warning smile.
âSmile,â he commanded tightly. âNo one wants a scowling bride.â
As a warning, a flame flickered on his palm and a searing pain spread across your exposed skin. You felt the burn, sharp and cruel, but you didnât dare flinch. You met his eyes and held themâ held that cold, hardened gaze, the same one you saw when youâd look in the mirror, in your eyes that looked exactly like his.Â
This was your defiance of tonight. If anything, you could do this. You could match him.
But your fatherâs smile widened, seemingly satisfied enough with your compliance, and he leaned back, releasing your hand. The burn throbbed on your skin but you remained still.Â
You could feel another gaze on you, distinct from the predatory stares of the other males. This gaze was warm, comforting, like the gentle heat of a fire on a cold night or the familiar embrace of a childhood blanket.Â
You didnât dare look over. You couldnât bear the thought of seeing the concern in Erisâs eyes from across the table. It would break you in some way you couldnât control. With the familiar sense of heat underneath your skin, you sat up straighter, tightened your strained grip around the fork you held, and imagined how it would look in the eyes of every male around youâ all but your brother.
⚠✠𧡠âśâš
Azriel wasnât sure why he hurried as much as he didâ why his wings seemed to go faster, why his winnowing was almost instant. But here he was, standing in front of the cabin heâd become so familiar with, listening as his shadows told him that you seemed troubled.
It was the job of a lone shadow of his to trail you, to keep an eye on this cabinâ on this place, and to alert Azriel if anything was of importance. It was a precautionary measure at the beginning of your little arrangement, a way to keep track of everything going on, to always have something watching youâ the most unpredictable factor in his life, the thing he never saw coming. But he wasnât sure why heâd continued to send that shadow out even after you both had come to a sort of agreement, a sort of truce born of a miniscule understanding.Â
Perhaps it was for reasons like this, for your strange appearances in the Spring Court at nearly four in the morning.Â
He knew in his gut that something was wrong even before his shadows told him.Â
You looked so put togetherâ that was the first thing Azriel noticed. The dress you wore was entirely too formal, lacking in the usual flare that accompanied your presence; and your hair was tied back tightly, so neatly and simple it seemed constraining. The way you sat on the grass now, before him, almost resembled the stance of a small child looking at the sky in a sorrowful form of prayer, waiting for a star to shoot by for a wish of yours to be placed upon it.
âWhy do you always do that?âÂ
Your voice rang out clear and goosebumps crawled on Azrielâs skin at the sound, a chill making its way through his body. You hadnât moved, hadnât bothered looking away from your stare at the sky. Part of him was tempted to remain still, to back further into the darkness that surrounded him.Â
âStare at me afar like a creep?â You added.
Finally, you turned to look at where he stood and Azriel found himself stepping forward, allowing his shadows to disappear around his body. He didnât offer you an answer, opting to flex his handsâ his clammy, tense handsâ as he continued to walk forward. You followed his every movement.
âWhat are you doing here?âÂ
Azrielâs voice was neutral, monotone.Â
You raised your eyebrows. âI could ask you the same thing.â
He frowned at the response. Heâd expected something snippier, something more youâ heâd grown accustomed to it, to the snark that heâd return easily. He took a moment to think, to rummage through his thoughts like an overly-cluttered junk drawer.Â
âDonât you think this is a bit pathetic,â Azriel said, âSulking on the dirty grass in the middle of the night?â
His voice was stern. But as much as heâd attempted to ensure it was devoid of emotion, there was a trace of something in his words, a hint of concern. A part of him, one larger than heâd care to admit, was pushing him to be softer, to tell you he was worried, to offer help pick you up. But he refrained. You would push him away the minute you sensed a semblance of pity. This he already knew.
You gave a humorless laugh and there was a strained sense of sorrow that Azriel recognized instantly. You stood up. âI guess so. Youâd know a thing or two about what being pathetic looks like.â
He gritted his teeth and took a steadying breath. His shadows curled around his wrists and he fought with them as they strained to extend further, to slither down his body and towards you.Â
There was a tense silence before he spoke again. "I heard Beron is arranging your marriage."
Your head snapped to the side and your eyes met hisâ the fire in them still visible in the moonlight, but entirely too dull compared to what theyâd looked like weeks ago. You took in his form, the straightness of his posture and the tuck of his wings. Even at this hour he was clad in his fighting leathers, poised and deadly like the image of ruin.Â
âHow do you know that?â
Azriel gave a small, almost nonchalant shrug. âI have spies in every court.â
âDoesn't it defeat the purpose if you tell me?â
âWouldn't you find them, anyways?
Despite yourself, the corner of your lips twitched upwards. âIâll take that as a compliment.â
You stared at each other for a moment and Azrielâs eyes seemed to soften with an internal conflict. He cocked his head at you and you forced yourself to look away, finding new interest on the ground below you.
âIs that why youâre here?â
When you met his eyes once more, he took a sharp intake of breath.Â
âI have nowhere else to go.â
Azrielâs mind reeled again. While he felt stuck in place, forged to the very ground he stood on, his brain threw him into every memory he held of youâ back to the first times heâd seen you standing alongside Eris.Â
He saw the memories in an entirely different light. Before, Eris had domineered over you, had poised his body in front of you and your mother in a way to assert his dominance as the heir to the throne, to remind those around him that you were both females at the end of the day. But now, Az saw it as what it truly was: protection. A bodily shield similar to that heâd done himself to Morrigan, to Amren, to his High Lady.Â
You never came to official meetings, were never seen at political gatherings. There were multiple reasons for this, Azriel had gathered. First and foremost, you were a female. And to Beron, females had no place in politicsâ- no place in his court beyond eye candy and child bearing. His wife was always there, yes, but she never spoke. Never did so much as lift her hand. Azriel couldâve believed that she was nothing more than a doll, not truly living; not truly alive. He didnât even know her name beyond her title, Lady of Autumn, a female that belonged to her court; nameless beyond the one thing that established herâ her husband.Â
And beyond being a female, you were their youngest, their only daughter. You were to be protected, to be molded into the perfect wife, ready to be sold off to the highestâ and most powerfulâ male. Heâd never bothered to think about that last fact. He never cared. But as you stood in front of him, he indeed felt bothered, felt unsettled at the idea.Â
âI feel bad for the male who will be tied to you for the rest of his life.â
âBecause Iâm that awful?â You scanned his face, your voice veering between wounded and sardonic. âHere I thought youâd be jealous because heâd get to fuck me for the rest of mine.â
Something flashed in Azrielâs eyes and the shadows on his face grew harsher as he clenched his jaw. But then, for a moment, his eyes seemed to soften, turning from a molten brown to a soft honey. âThatâs not what I meant.â
"Then what did you mean?"
He took a deep breath and you couldâve sworn you saw a twitch in his hand, saw it move out slightly before he pulled it back in, as if he wanted to reach out, to place a hand on yours.Â
"Ownership doesn't suit you. Any male who thinks he has a claim on you is in for a rude awakening.â
 You looked away. "It's not like I have a choice."
"You always have a choice.â
You met his gaze again, a dry laugh bubbling up. Azrielâs face was serious, sincere, and it made your blood boil with a sense of resentment that felt comical. You could taste it: the bitter feeling in your throat and the burning in your stomach, like something making its way from your esophagus to your mouth.
"Of course you would say that."
Azriel's brow furrowed slightly and his body tensed in response. "What does that mean?â
You shook your head, running your tongue along your teeth before you turned to face him fully, jaw tight, teeth clenched. Azriel wore a sense of self-loathing like second skin. You could smell it on him, could see it in the way he walked, in the way he interacted with those around him. You noticed it from the first time youâd met, watched as he longingly looked at Morrigan, as that self-loathing filled his eyes and dripped into his features. You knew the feeling well, knew how to recognize it.Â
And you wanted to laugh at the fact. The male before you hated himself so much because he had room to do so. He was powerful enough to let it fester, was comfortable enough to set aside time for his self-pity. The Night Court, despite how much you hated it, had freedoms that yours would never give you. Rhysand granted his family privileges that they never acknowledged. You felt the urge to tell Azriel exactly that, to shove a finger into his chest and chastise him for such foolish, childish sentiments. Â
But instead, you found yourself asking him a question that took both of you by surprise.Â
âWhy do you despise me?â
Azriel blinked and his shadows stilled, their movements halting around his body. âWhat?â
âTell me,â you said, âTell me why you hate me.â
Azrielâs eyes hardened. âErisââ
You cut him off. âI asked why you hated me. Not my brother.â
His mouth tightened and he remained silent, his wings twitching slightly as if they bore the weight of his thoughts. The shadows that usually danced around him like a protective barrier were now motionless, and you felt a twisting sensation in your gut, a cold, coiling dread.
"You know,â you said, your voice low, a hint of anger lacing your words. "It's not only hate that I have felt for you."
He stiffened. "Then what else?"
"Jealousy," you admitted, the word leaving a sour taste in your mouth. âBitter, suffocating jealousy. I'm envious of you, Shadowsinger. You have this court that you love, this family that can get away with anything and you don't even acknowledge it.â
Youâd always been a jealous person. By the gods, youâd tried your best to get over it. But it was rooted in something deeper than superficial envyâ especially when it came to Azriel.Â
There was something about the moonlight, about these darkened skies, that made it easier to be honest, something that almost compelled a sense of vulnerability. And as you stared at him, felt his gaze burn into yours, you felt a cold shiver of realization roll throughout your skin.Â
âIâve come to realize that you and I are entirely too similar for my liking. And I am so unbelievably envious that Iâm punished for everything you are praised for.â
Azriel stilled, his movements slowing as though your words had struck him with the force of a physical blow. His chest tightened and an urgency wrapped itself around his ribs like a vise, constricting with each breath.
Azriel had always hated you. It was a visceral, almost instinctive reaction that he never fully understood until now. You were a mirror of himâa reflection of the darkness he harbored within himself, the parts of him that he loathed. Your cunning, your ruthlessness, this sense of loyalty that left you desperate, that led you to tearing apart pieces of yourself. All qualities he recognized, all qualities he despised in himself.Â
It was easier to hate you than to face the self-loathing that gnawed at him. To acknowledge that you were a product of your environment, just as he was. But as much as he tried to detest you, as much as he tried to push you away, his hatred for you had spilled into desire, something sickly sweet and thick. It ran down his body and even after heâd scrubbed himself clean, even after heâd rid himself of his urges as he took you from behindâ- it was still there, coating his skin. He was unable to rid himself of the burning that had settled in his chest, the longing he refused to admit; because that hatred, that desire, had grown into something else, something just as hot, just as all consuming.Â
It had turned into admiration.Â
His expression softened, a flicker of somethingâregret, perhapsâcrossing his face. "Youâre right."
A silence settled between you, thick and heavy. Azriel's gaze wavered, his eyes searching yours as if he were sifting through the layers you held. You felt a flutter in your chest, a vulnerable ache that made you want to recoil and step closer all at once.
You stared at him, at the way his wings perched over him like a dark, protective shroud, at how his shadows seemed to radiate off him in waves. The heat beneath your skin intensified, a simmering fire that burned hotter the longer you looked at him. Your eyes drifted to his wing, to the area that had been torn open the last time you saw him. The scar had healed, but the memory of it was still fresh in your mind. You looked back at his face, at the way he hadnât dared to look away.Â
Azriel's face was hauntingly and devastatingly beautiful, a creature of the night, perfectly in his element under the moonlit sky. Your chest felt tight, as if your ribs were being pulled apart, making it hard to breathe. You couldnât save Eris. You couldnât outrun the fate your father had set for you.Â
You wanted it all to go away, to forget who you were, where you were.
Without another thought, you threw yourself at Azriel, your lips crashing against his in an angry, heady kiss. The intensity of it was almost violent, something born out of desperation, out of a need to feel something other than the suffocating anger that had taken residence in your heart.
He pulled away for a moment, his brows furrowing as he took in your face. His eyes fell to your lips. You waited for itâ for the abandonment of reluctance that had become a routine, for him to stare at you, for that stare to turn hungry, predatory, and for him to surge forward and claim your lips with his. But Azriel didnât move towards you. He shook his head and took a step back.Â
âWhat is it?â you breathed, your voice trembling, edged with frustration. âHave you suddenly gained morals? Do you not want this?â
He hesitated. âNo. Not like this,â Azriel said and you bristled at the words. They werenât entirely dismissive, but they felt charged with something that left your mouth dry, left it difficult for you to breathe. âI donât want your anger.â
âWhat does that mean?â
His eyes flickered, as if trying to blink away the thoughts racing through his mind.
âI donât know.â
The uncertainty in his voice made your chest feel tighter. An almost embarrassing sensation of exposure washed over you, as if your entire life had led to being denied the one sick pleasure youâd found.Â
âWhy did you come here?â
âI donât know,â he repeated, this time firmer, more desperate. His shadows churned around him, dark tendrils of darkness twisting and writhing like a storm gathering strength, charged with an unsettling energy.
It set you on edge. Your fingers twitched, and you clenched your hands into fists to stop their trembling.Â
âWell, what do you know?â
Azriel looked at you, a crease in his brows, his expression a mix of pain and relief as he finally responded, his eyes burning. âThat you have plagued my mind for weeks.â
"What are you doing here?" you asked, your voice teetering between curiosity and a simmering anger. It was a blend of emotions you couldn't quite unravelâwhether you sought answers or were simply lashing out. âWhat do you want?â
He shook his head, attempting to take another step back, growing more furious with himself at the motion. You moved closer, bringing your hand to his arm and he felt the burn of your touch through his leathers. You were a nightmare and he felt desperate to keep you as you pleaded with him, voice rising, fiery in spirit and heart.Â
âTell me what you want, Shadowsinger.â
You weren't sure what came over you, why you suddenly felt desperate for him to tell you what you felt was true, for him to admit it. It felt like you were on the edge of a great precipice, your heart tugging and tightening in your chest all at once, needing him to look at you, growing anxious, angry, even. You wanted his truth, wanted his confession and his sin all in one.
And then you continued, voice suddenly tender, seeking. âTell me what you want and I can give it to you.â
He willed himself to look at you and his chest rose with his uneven breaths.Â
âYou,â he managed to breathe, shivering with craving.
Once the admission fell from his mouth, Azriel was done for. âI want you.âÂ
⚠✠𧡠âśâš
As an extra treat, the wonderfully talented @micahssketchbook gifted us with an illustrated version of this confession đĽš
⚠✠𧡠âśâš
authors note:
yknow.... if theres one thing ill give these angst fuckers credit for is that they are so honest with each other, like tell me why reader is more honest with az than rhys was with his own wife đ
anyways everyone thank @writingcroissant as usual for inspiring me (forcing me) to finish this part when i was tempted to delete everything
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#azriel x reader#azriel#azriel x you#azriel x y/n#azriel x reader angst#azriel fanfic#azriel fanfiction#azriel shadowsinger#azriel spymaster#azriel acotar#acotar fanfic#azriel angst#a court of thorns and roses#acotar fanfiction#acotar#acotar x reader#malice series#EIM#an education in malice
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you wanna kiss me so bad, it makes you look stupid. pt. 1
âš simon 'ghost' riley x fem!reader
[ warnings ] slightly nsfw. reader referred to as 'she' once. wc 979
part 2
cod masterlist
Everyone shows their love differently, you just so happened to show you cared about someone by relentlessly teasing them. And it was so easy with Soap and Gaz. They would give you shit right back and youâd all burst out laughing. But when it came to Ghostâyour lieutenantâyou couldnât justify throwing jabs at your superior. You imagined yourself making a joke about him being ugly under his mask and you shuddered. Even the thought of poking fun at him made you uncomfortable.
But as Ghost and Soap grew closer, you overheard theirâcrudeâconversations on comms. And often, it was Johnny saying something stupid and Ghostâs monotone voice mocking him.
âIt's dark in here,â Soap had said.Â
âGood observation. Sâwater still wet?â Ghostâs deadpan voice had made you giggle to yourself, careful to make sure you werenât doing it over comms.
It surprised you when someone like Lt.âa stone-cold killerâcould have a sense of humor. And it made you a little more influenced to act snarky, your tongue loosening around him on its own accord.
But for a while, it still managed to make your eyes widen whenever Ghost would say something silly, like when Price was basically on the verge of coming back from the dead, and Soap said, âWas worried your face was gonna melt off like those other poor bastards.âÂ
You could still hear Ghostâs low voice in your ears. âIf you ask me, itâd be an improvement.â
However, after time, you slowly fell into slipping in snides to Ghost alongside Johnny. You hadnât even realized how often you teased himâŚ
When you came back to the safehouse with Ghost during a mission, you were both soaked. Your clothes dripped water all over the floors, leaving a wet trail behind you. Soap and Gaz were on their way, but you and Ghost had beaten them there.Â
You began to shiver, the damp clothing sticking to your skin making it insufferably cold in the room. You dumped your stuff on the half-broken couch, slipping your tactical vest off. You pried your shirt off with several, strained grunts, getting it stuck over your head at one point, and then tossed it to the floor with a plopping sound. You immediately felt warmer having shed the wet material.Â
Your eyes flickered up and spotted Ghost. He, too, had stripped his vest off, holding it in his hand. But his eyes were locked on you, unabashedly watching as you had torn your shirt from your chest. You still had a thin tank top on, but you felt far more exposed with his eyes on you than you expected.Â
You smirked, not really thinking there was any intention behind his gaze. You walked towards him, wanting to go around and search the rooms for dry clothes, his eyes following you. When you brushed past him, you spoke. âYou wanna kiss me so bad, Lt. It makes you look stupid.â You had meant it as a joke. To tease him for watching youâhe was probably just spacing off, deep in thought, his eyes inconveniently resting on you.
His arm stretched out, connecting with the wall, making you halt. Your eyebrows furrowed as you turned to look up at him.Â
âSo, what if I do?â
Your lips parted in a bit of shock and embarrassment. That wasnât the response you had expected. You werenât even sure what you should say to that. You heard Ghost chuckle, watching as your usual cocky attitude faltered.Â
âNot so smart, now, hm?â he teased.Â
You tried to shake it off, but the sticky feeling of his pupil-blown eyes staring down at you after taking your joke and throwing it back in your face shrouded your insouciant demeanor.
Did he mean what he said? Or was he just trying to catch you off guard?
Before you were forced to either acknowledge what he said, assuming his words were honest or teasing, Soap and Gaz burst through the door.
Ghost gave you one last wistful look before dropping his arm and moving into the living room. You were left a little dumbfounded, shocked that you were so overwhelmed by his one, little sentence.Â
When you turned to meet the boys, Ghost was watching you from behind the couch, stripping his clothes off, his eyes unwavering as they suppressed you with their weight. When he finally tore his shirt off, exposing his bare chest, you had to look away. Your cheeks felt hot as you tried to listen to what Soap was saying to you.Â
Soap said your names several times before you blinked and refocused.Â
âSorry, what?â You muttered. Soap raised his brows at you in concern.Â
âSheâs a bit distracted today,â Ghost chimed in from the corner of the room.Â
He had a fresh shirt in hand but had yet to put it to use. You scowled at him.Â
When everyone was getting situated several minutes later, Ghost strolled past you before lowering his head to whisper in your ear. You got goosebumps all down your neck and arms. âNot sâfun beinâ on the receiving end, huh?â
You swallowed. âDidnât know my words bothered you so much, Lt.â
He smirked under his mask, his eyes squinting as he did. âI wouldn't say âbotheredâ. More likeâŚâ he pondered for a brief moment, âaroused.â
You choked on your spit, trying to play it off as a cough, then spun on your heels to face him. But you were left with his back, he was already walking away. You knew this should have discouraged youâthat you needed to just accept defeat from your lieutenant and not mess with him any further. But, unfortunately, this brief fault in your step didnât deter you.Â
If thatâs the game he wanted to play, so be it. And a terrible part of you hoped he wasnât just trying to make you uncomfortable, but was being truthful.
part 2
#ghost#simon riley#smut#ghost cod#ghost x reader#ghost mw2#simon riley x reader#cod#ghost fanfic#simon riley fanfic#ghost call of duty#ghost angst#cod mw2#cod fic#call of duty fanfic#mw2 fanfic#mw3#ghost mw3
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Hiiiii can you please write prompt 92 with jude bellingham?? Thank uuu đ
92) "I have to go." "No, you have to stay here with me."
gif by @judebellswife
"I have to go." Jude drawled out, his deep voice distrupting the calm air.
"No, you have to stay here with me." You said, almost whispering against his neck, pulling him in just that little bit tighter.
Jude sighed and let his finger trail up and down the skin on your arm a few more times.
If he could stay right here, under the warm bedsheets with you tucked into his side, clothes long forgotten on the floor and your familiar scent in the room, then he'd be a happy man.
But he's only in town for the night. And there are places he needs to be. And he was already meant to leave 20 minutes ago.
Jude rested his free arm behind his head as he watched the lights of nearby buildings shine through the window where the curtains parted. The dark sky only fed his wistful thoughts of staying a little longer.
Maybe he could stay the night. Maybe, if he skipped breakfast, he could get his driver to pick him up from your building in the morning. Maybe, if the traffic was low, he could buy some food at the airport and not be a minute late. Maybe, if he admitted how much he wanted it, he could fall asleep by your side like he used to.
Your gentle breaths made your chest rise and fall against his while the low light coated your bodies in a honey-yellow glow. As Jude peered down at the leg wrapped around his own, and at his hand slotted comfortably around your waist, he pulled himself out of the plans forming in his head.
In truth, it wasn't like it used to be. The silly teenagers caught up in carefree dates and fun rendezvouses. The countless hours watching television and playing games and taking things further than they should, just to roll over and wake up as friends again. It's not like that at all now.
Jude lived in Spain. You didn't talk every day. He was rumoured to be dating a new girl every month. You dyed your hair. Both of you have grown up a lot.
His move to Madrid changed everything and he doesn't feel the same way about you.
Now, he feels he loves you more than he ever could last year.
The physical distance between you never brought down the fire of your relationship. The sparks that reignited every time you saw each other made him realise what the butterflies in his stomach had yet to announce. The exciting reunions after time apart proved how good you could be and made him long for you more.
But it wasn't plausible. Jude could see himself drowning in you, turning his life upside down to be with you, growing to hate Madrid because it's where you can't be, never once leaving the warmth your arms provided. It couldn't happen. Not now. Not when everything else was as good as it was.
Jude took a breath and lifted your arm off his body.
"No," he huffed quietly, "I have to go."
He could barely look at you as he sat up and pulled the sheets out of the way, fearing that any trace of disappointment on your face would pull him right back into the dream. He was careful in his movements but your side turned cold in his absence.
The drop in your heart went unspoken as you watched him slip his clothes back on. The heavy silence filled Jude with regret and he cursed himself inside. He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head a little at the feeling of the mattress moving as you pushed yourself against the headboard.
Jude wished he could find the right words, certain that anything he could say at that moment would only cause more harm. So he sat on the edge of the bed, buttoning up his shirt without a word, refusing to turn to meet the eyes that bore a hole into his back.
#jude bellingham#jude bellingham imagine#jude bellingham x reader#angst#football#football imagine#headcanon#blurb#prompts#my og post
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To Love You
Pairing | wanted!Jimin x princess!Reader
Word Count | 16,1k
Warnings | +18, angst, smut, Jimin is a wanted outlaw, mention of dead parents and conspiracy, the new king is a slimy being, mention of hatred, painful feelings and abandonment, many tears, Jimin is allergic to romantic feelings đ, murders (sword, poison, tortureâŚ), attempted rape, lots of kissing and touching, breast worship, love marks, talks about having a baby, impregnation kink, sex in the woods, virginity loss, unprotected sex, vaginal sex, licking pussy, forcing orgasm, mild fantasy!AU toward the end, this is not for minors.
⤡ Summary | You have been separated from your beloved and your kingdom is under the rule of a heartless man, but all is not lost.
⢠Author's Note | I wrote this story because after Dark Moon I found it hard to part with Jimin, and at the same time I wanted to bring some sweetness to heal my heart a little, I hope you enjoy this story â¤ď¸
ps: all images used for the banner belong exclusively to me!
Permanent Taglist: @katherine-kookie @btsuga-d @reallygenerouskoala @velvet-stardust2002, @takemeaway5402 @angelicsmilesworld @pantara @ke1k029 @btssimpjaneth
â・ ďž ď¸ď˝Ą â・ ďž ďž ď˝Ą â â・ ďž ď¸ď˝Ą â・ ďž ďž ď˝Ą ââ・ ďž ď¸ď˝Ą â・ ďž ďž ď˝Ą
"The multi-murderer Park Jimin here, the rebel leader who has been sowing terror in our lands for years, stealing from our families and killing our children, is sentenced to capital punishment, tomorrow at dawn the gallows will await his head."
A buzz rises in the room, all the attention of those present is focused on the commander of His Majesty's Royal Guards, the man is reading an official communiquĂŠ, with every word your heart receives a painful, deafening stinging.
Your eyes are steady on the blond-haired boy, kneeling in the middle of the hall, his mischievous gaze on the king, your uncle.
"The condemned man will be escorted immediately to his cell, where he will remain until the following morning, in the hope that he will repent of his deplorable deeds and ask God for forgiveness."
The boyâs grin deepens, in his ice-colored eyes that contributed to his fame, shines an amused spark, you know what it means⌠itâs that attitude of his that made you fall in love with him, your Jimin.
"Deplorable is forgetting the poor people you have killed for your own interests, mine was only justice, my lords...there should be someone else in my place, you all know that," the barb aimed directly at the king makes everyone present hold their breath. including you.
To address a tyrant ruler like your uncle in that way is simply insane, by your side you see the man in question clenching his fists and narrowing his gaze, but he dare not go on a rampage, not in front of his subjects, at least.
"Take him to his cell, that's where such a beast deserves to be," the king hisses, and when the guards badly pull Jimin to his feet, he finally looks at you-it's only an instant, but it's enough for you to notice his expression change from mischievous to wistful.
You barely hold back the tears as they take him away, unable to say or do anything, you promised him, you promised him you would do nothing foolish or dangerous, but your heart clenched in a painful grip calls out to him and longs to feel his embrace again, but yours is a secret that must be kept silent and hidden.
You feel a hand wrap itself around your shoulders and you shudder, watching your uncle's dark eyes stare at you suspiciously, the crown jewels shining wickedly on his head, as if mocking you, a princess forgotten by her people.
"Is there something you would like to say, my niece?" his words creep disgustingly down your spine, you want to spit in his face, but you hold back.
You clutch your robes in your hands, imprinting your best smile on your lips.
"No, Your Highness, I am calmer now, finally that outlaw has been caught" uttering those words kills you inside, it is before you the real outlaw, the one who plotted against your father to usurp his throne, you are alive only because you are a sweet and important pawn in your uncle's game, if you want to conquer a new country without shedding blood, you need a precious bargaining chip, no?
And in your veins runs the pure blood of a princess, an opportunity too tempting for your uncle who is already itching to give you away in marriage to who knows what spoiled, deadbeat prince.
You sense a gentler hand pulling you away, it is your wet nurse, sweet old Harun, she curtseys to your uncle and when he turns his attention to the other nobles in the room, the woman finally speaks, "Come, my lady, you must rest now" you let yourself be dragged away from her like a shattered rag doll, once this woman could patch you up, now you doubt that playing another of her games to cheer you up will have the desired effect, the love of your life will be executed tomorrow.
"It's over, Harun," you say with a sob stuck in your throat, "It's really over..." Harun stares at you with tears in her eyes.
After all, she witnessed your love; before he was an outlaw, Jimin was the son of a knight of the king, one of your father's best friends, you grew up together, you watched him practicing with his sword in the imperial gardens, hidden among the hedges as a princess should not have done, he loved practicing with you during dance lessons, you were very close and Harun had never dared to push you away, aware of the importance of a young love like yours.
After your uncle killed the king, Jimin's father rebelled by not accepting the new ruler and found death awaiting him, his family was stripped of its noble title and robbed of all wealth, throwing Jimin into a spiral of hatred and revenge.
He found ways to stir up trouble for the new king and his court by looting their homes or killing important members of their families, you on your side knew he was alive because of the whispers coming from the servants, with regret you realize that you saw his handsome face again as he was kneeling at the new king's feet and it will probably be the last time as well.
Harun gives you time to enter your bedroom, "My lady, Jimin never blamed you for what happened to him."
You smile softly, "I know, he... he is good, Harun, Jimin is good."
The elderly woman nods understandingly, it is when you sit on the bed that you notice something. Before you leave, Harun deliberately lets something slip among your things; it's a key.
"I hope you can both be happy, princess," she says before closing the door behind her.
With slow, tentative steps you reach for the key, you look around fearfully, almost expecting your uncle to pop out from somewhere, ready to accuse you of treachery, but when you grab the key to the castle dungeons nothing of what you imagined happens, you look out your window, the moon in the sky is high and motherly, almost inviting you to follow your heart, and with a salty smile you clutch the key to your chest.
Just for the thoughts invading your mind you deserve condemnation, but what do you have to lose now? If the love of your life dies tomorrow at dawn, then you will stand by his side, not among cruel people looking down on him.
Take a last look at your room, you spent a wonderful childhood within those walls; on the bed wrapped in tulle and silk you embroidered with your mother, on the carpet with your family crest you played while Harun braided your hair, good-naturedly reprimanding you if you spoke a little too loudly and smiling sweetly you remember at the window a young and cunning Jimin climbing a tree to join you in your rooms, that's how your first and only kiss happened, it was a light and chaste touch, but it was enough to leave you with your heart wrapped in joy.
Then it was all over, no more games, laughter or shy hugs at every corner of the castle. The new king ruined everything.
The night welcomes you and slips with you as you move like a shadow within the castle walls, after years of dancing your step is so light that the heels of your shoes do not make the slightest noise, you clutch the light shawl you have carried with you over your shoulders, shivering at the draught that penetrates through the draughts of the dungeons, you have found no guards as you pass, they are all focused on protecting the king and his apartments, the fear of possible revenge from Jimin's men is too vivid for them.
You descend the stone steps covering your nose with your shawl, the smell of mold is strong and makes your eyes water, drops of water whose origin is unknown to you fall from the ceiling, it is so dark that you are forced to take a torch from the wall and use it to light your way, the flame dances sinuously with your every movement and you finally access the last part of the long and winding corridor. A sickening smell of urine overtakes you as you approach the filthy cells, Jimin is locked up in such a place, another wicked way of trying to humiliate him.
There are five cells in all, in front of them you notice a wooden table with two chairs, that's where you immediately go, take the bottle of wine and swallow, you have to.
It's something you've always thought of reserving for your uncle someday, but Jimin's life is more important, so you firmly detach the thin chain you've been wearing around your neck since your father's death from your neck, you look one last time at the silver pendant with your family crest, then you open it with a small click and its contents are revealed, you throw a few pieces of the wolfsbane root into the wine, hoping that the guards will drink it before they realize what had been done, and with a shuddering breath you hide the necklace in the pockets of your dress.
Then, as if you hadn't just poisoned the bottle, you slowly make your way to the dirty rooms enclosed by old iron bars, you illuminate the cramped space of each cell by the torchlight flame, you notice beds of dirty, old straw and dark stains on the wall, you don't even want to imagine what it could be.
You notice a soft humming, it is gentle and sweet, you swallow recognizing the melody, he is there.
You approach the last cell with your heart in your throat, you haven't seen him in years, you don't know exactly how he will react to your presence, you repeat Harun's words in your head as you use the key she gave you to open the cell, the noise is creepy as you open the rusted iron door, the shadows inside are even more so.
You take a step in there, your feet meet more straw, it is so dark that you can only rely on the torch you clutch in your hand and the moonlight filtering through a tiny barred window, you try to look around but suddenly the flame goes out, the loss of light provokes in you the instinct to scream, but one hand rushes to close your mouth while another grabs you by the side, holding you to a warm body you didn't think you could touch again.
You shudder when the tip of his nose lightly brushes your neck, and you are inflamed to realize that he is inhaling your fragrance. You feel him smile against your skin before leaving a kiss on it that makes you lose several beats and your hair stand up pleasantly.
"What's a princess like you doing in a place like this... with someone like me?" he whispers in your ear as the tempting devil would, you'd be lying if you said he had no effect on you, your mind and body are hopelessly drawn to him.
His hand releases your mouth and reaches down to your neck, tightening it in a deliberately weak grip, you lick your lips before responding.
"I'm here to set you free, Jimin," you say softly, this makes him snort in amusement.
"Set me free? Oh, Y/N... I'm not afraid to die" you tremble when he says your name and turn in his arms, you try to look into his eyes but the only thing you catch is the dangerous glint in them.
"I do, I am afraid! I don't want you to die, Jimin..." you whisper in a broken voice and finally allow yourself to embrace him, rest your head on his warm chest and although he doesn't reciprocate, he does nothing to stop you.
It's a strange feeling you feel, he left you he was a skinny little boy full of rage, now he is a man facing death head on, but you are not ready to let him go one more time.
"And I don't want you to be here when the guards come back, this is high treason to the crown, Y/N," he growls looking at the open cell door and clutching your shoulders, he wants you to leave, you know.
"Do you think I care? No, Jimin... I stopped being a princess when my father and mother died, when you were forced to leave and left me alone" you say the last word bitterly, "If I die saving you, I will accept my fate."
He slowly pushes you back, each step brings you closer to the light filtering through the small window, and when you end up with your back to the wall, you can finally see clearly the face of the man he has become and your breath catches, his peculiar eyes hold a torment that does not shine through in his brazen voice, you raise a hand to his face and shyly brush the line of his jaw, his golden locks shine under the moonlight glow, it is shocking.
"You don't even know what you're saying, you're a silly princess who's read too many books and now thinks she can save an outlaw" he laughs softly shaking his head, "Go back to your room, Y/N and forget me" when he turns away from you and you lose the little hold you have on him, the world comes crashing down on you.
Forget him? He has no idea how many years you spent waiting for him, hoping he would take you away from your uncle's clutches, he never came to get you and yet you never stopped hoping, you shake your head looking at him sorrowfully. It is easy for him to say such a thing, after all, he has already left you in his past, a past he has turned his back on.
"You're probably right, I'm a silly princess who has read too many books and now wants to save an outlaw, but I won't forget you," you hiss feeling a sudden surge of anger, because if you gave in to the sadness that now clutches your heart you would find yourself crying on your knees and he doesn't deserve that, "It may have been very easy for you to make me disappear from your mind and heart, but don't think we're the same in this."
He does not answer you, you know he is gritting his teeth by the rhythmic click of his jaw, you thought you had found him and instead you are looking at a stranger.
"You've grown ... and you've changed," you whisper before turning toward the exit with a chill in your body, "The cell is open and the guards are focused on protecting the king, you pretty much have the coast clear."
Before you can leave, his voice stops you.
"What will happen to you? Every action has a repercussion, princess."
You smile without amusement; it's ridiculous how he avoids facing your feelings by pretending they don't exist.
"Don't waste your time on me and go, it's not even certain that they will find out," you sigh with one last look at the man who stole your heart and soul before freezing you, he now has his hands clasped around the bars of the window, as if he refuses to look at you. It is stupid what you are about to do, but you need one last test.
You let your shawl slide to the ground; if it is still in the straw tomorrow, you will be condemned in Jimin's place; if, on the other hand, the guards do not find it, it means the boy has taken it with him. You know you are being selfish, but you wish a part of you would stay with him, even though he would probably like not to think of you again.
"Jimin!" one of his friends notices him, and relief is immediate in the group.
They welcome him with open arms as he collapses to the ground, tired but happy to still have his head attached to his neck.
"We were already prepared to intervene during the public trial, but this changes everything! How did you escape?" Hoseok asks him with wide eyes, Jimin brings a hand to his damp and dirty hair, seriously in need of a bath after spending a night running through dirty streets and dirt.
"I was helped ... by a friend, let's say," he replies through clenched teeth, gratefully taking the water bottle Yoongi is handing him.
"A friend? Some servant girl you've had fun with in the past?" asks Taehyung smoothly, receiving a blow on the head from Namjoon.
It is Seokjin who notices the shawl that Jimin has tied around his waist, masterfully takes it before the boy can even notice and ignores the latter's protests.
"I'd say a princess," he says with a smile, spreading the fabric and displaying the royal family crest under the sunlight, "I knew it, she-"
"Stop. I know what you are going to say and I urge you to go no further," Jimin growls taking back your shawl, "She belongs in that castle."
"Kidnapping a princess is easy, so what's your problem?" in a not at all gentle way, Jungkook voices the question that has always crossed everyone's mind.
"Her place is not in that castle, everyone in the kingdom knows that ever since Cobra killed his brother and sister-in-law, he wants to use his niece as a bargaining chip with all countries provided with an heir" Namjoon looks at him sternly, but Jimin sighs.
"She is a princess, that is her duty."
He clutches your shawl tightly before getting up from the ground and heading to his tent, your place is not by his side, you are safer in that castle, whoever went against that foolish new king met his death, he will never forget the life in his father's eyes that faded away, nor the flames that burned his house and the king's guards that captured his mother and brothers, you will not end up the same way because of his selfishness, if leaving you by your uncle's side will preserve your life, then he will give up on you.
He clutches tightly at the fabric that still carries your sweet scent of vanilla and cookies, it was devastating to have had you next to him again without being able to hold you as he would have liked, for a moment the memories of childhood lulled him tenderly, but you are two different people now, he is different and must let you go, it is for your own good he thinks as he ties your shawl around his duffle bag, trying not to think back to the pain in your voice as you left the cell.
Someday, when you have a family of your own, you will understand the reason behind his every action.
The walls tremble at the king's shouts, he is furious.
Everyone in the hall looks at each other nervously, you keep your vacant and tired gaze, it has been three days since Park Jimin's escape and your uncle shows no sign of ending his fury, he has executed five guards and two nobles of his court suspected of helping Jimin with the escape. The reason is the poison found in the wine that killed the sentries who were on guard that night; it is a plant found only in the royal gardens and only the king and the nobles of his court have access to it.
"Who dared to betray the king?" is the question circulating among those in the hall as you crinkle the skirt of your gown with nervous fingers, not regretting helping Jimin, but breathing the heavy air of these days is not easy.
"Who do you think could have done it, my niece?" when your uncle whispers the question in your ear you stiffen.
"I don't have enough evidence to accuse anyone, Your Majesty, the only thing I can say is that it must have been a fool with no conscience," you reply in as firm a tone as possible, your uncle scrutinizing you from head to toe before nodding.
"Yeah, a fool..." he hisses shifting his gaze to his nobles, out of the corner of your eye you notice Harun looking at you from the front door with sadness.
She expected Jimin to take you away with him, and truthfully you had hoped for that at first too, but you can't force a person to love you, it's a good thing things turned out this way, you can finally stop chasing a ghost and wishing for something you will never have.
When that day's reunion ends, you can finally be free to wander around the castle, what you don't expect is to find the king in your safe place, your mother's private little garden.
"Sire..." you whisper strangely, the king never dared to enter there, everything about those lush plants and flowers carries the memory of your mother, a beautiful and sensitive woman, but also very strong. She did not shy away from her brother-in-law's sword when he pointed it at her chest.
"Y/N, you are doing a very good job here," he nods in the direction of the white lilies in the height of their bloom, you do nothing to approach the man, you have always discreetly driven away his presence, but it is one thing to leave his halls, another to leave a place you consider your own, this may make him too suspicious.
He, however, seems not to notice your lack of response, too busy studying the many plants in the small garden.
"Go ahead and sit down and read one of your books, nephew...I'm just here to find some peace...I confess, Park Jimin's escape troubles me," he casts you a little glance and you clear your throat.
"You are the king, he cannot harm you in here, Sire."
The man nods weakly, but still looks tense.
"Oh, I know I am the king, my dear niece, but the idea that a traitor could live within the walls of my castle does not let me sleep at night."
You grit your teeth.
His castle? The castle he forcibly wrested from you and your family?
This is another humiliation to which you cannot respond as you actually want to, you swallow the knot in your throat.
"Precisely why I'm so disappointed... in you" you squint, possible... Â "Y/N, I kept you alive when I took the throne years ago, you were such a pretty and malleable child, but maybe not enough" he continues before shaking off the dark cloak and pulling out something that locks your breath in your lungs.
In his fist he clutches your necklace, the one that contained the poison and that you thought you had hidden in the sewn folds of your dress, you don't know what to say, so you try to pretend.
"Oh! You found it, I've been looking for it for days," you exclaim in the most surprised tone you can imitate, but the man doesn't seem to be playing along with you.
"Don't lie to me, Y/N, this necklace was found inside the cell where Park Jimin was locked up, I had heard rumors about your childish feelings for that outlaw, but to go that far? To go so far as to betray me? I spared your life, I never denied you and your title of princess! I raised you as if you were my own daughter!" he shouts, violently pulling off a wolfsbane root hidden among the lilies.
Something snaps inside you at his insinuations, an anger you've been hatching for years that has never found an outlet.
"Raised as a daughter? You killed my father and mother for a crown! You put power and wealth first, you deprived me of a family, you did the same to Jimin and claim to pass as a victim now! You are a vile monster!"
Your uncle is quick to draw the same sword with which he had remorselessly severed your father's head, he points it at your throat and it is so close that you feel the blade press against your skin enough to scratch it, you inhale deeply trying to block the fear that makes your heart gallop against your rib cage.
"I am the king, I don't allow a foolish girl to judge my actions, I realize I was wrong to spare you that night...but what should I do with you now? Should I kill you now or..." a mad light flashes in his eyes, "Of course... a condemned will be there, you will take the place of your beloved Jimin," he hisses in your face, a slow smile makes room on your cheeks contrary to what the man expected.
He expected you to burst into tears and fall to your knees begging him to spare you, but you will not, you will honor your mother's memory.
"You're just a coward," you whisper amused, at which the man's face turns red with fury.
"Guards! Guards!" he shouts at that point, six men enter by breaking through the glass door from which you enter to reach your mother's garden, shards of glass surround you along with the soldiers, you have no escape and so you merely chill the king with your gaze, "Lock her up in the highest and most isolated tower of the castle, I sentence the princess to death for helping the dangerous fugitive Park Jimin escape from my prisons!"
"Your day will come, too, Uncle," you hiss furiously, "And when you find him before your eyes, you will fall to your knees begging him to spare your life, but he will not be so merciful," you announce proudly, not needing to utter Jimin's name to alert your uncle, the way he suddenly whitens is already an answer for you, you keep smiling as an austere-looking man tugs you badly, forgetting that he has a princess on his hands, or maybe they don't care, it's the king who matters to them.
As you are thrown to the floor inside what will be your final chamber, darkness engulfs you once the door is closed.
You cough hard involuntarily inhaling the air thick with dust and dirt, your eyes burn and you do not know whether from tears or from the irritants in the room, the only thing you are sure of is that tomorrow your entire kingdom will know of your death sentence.
They will probably learn of that news with indifference, wondering why the king did not kill you earlier, along with the rest of your family.
You often ask yourself that too, if he had killed you then, you would have died basking in the thought that Jimin loved you and would remember you forever.
"Let's move, we need to refuel in town before we leave," says Seokjin starting to saddle his horse, Namjoon on the other hand is busy cataloging all their stuff to avoid losing anything after yet another move.
"Taehyung's not back yet?" complains Hoseok snortingly, picking up the "stupid guy's" bag, Jungkook shrugs in response.
They sent Taehyung to check the situation in town, moving in a group would have been dangerous; it's always better to check one at a time that the coast is clear.
"Strange, he should be here already," Jimin whispers as he squints, their momentary safe place in the heart of the forest is now almost completely clear, only Taehyung is missing.
"Maybe he's found something interesting," murmurs Yoongi crossing his arms and staring at an unspecified point toward the horizon, everyone staring at him in confusion before hearing Taehyung's voice.
"Jimin!" exclaimed Taehyung coming galloping in a breathless gallop, Hoseok cursing.
"I hope no one saw you running and screaming like that, you asshole," he growls, but Taehyung overtakes him with wide eyes and a paper clutched in his hand.
"Jimin, it's about the princess!" silence instantly replaces the protests of the others, Jimin stiffens as he stares guardedly at the paper Taehyung is clutching so desperately, "That fool of a king-" is interrupted by his friend who snatches the flyer from his hands to read it himself.
A boulder falls into his stomach and the ground is as if shaking beneath his feet, the king has sentenced you to death, you will end up hanging with a noose around your neck for helping him escape, he clutches the piece of paper tightly, shaking with fury.
You should not have helped him, you should not have risked your life for someone like him, when he thinks of how he treated you before you left he feels only immense shame.
"We should have kidnapped her when I proposed it," Jungkook sighs before saddling his horse as well.
"Saving her is the more appropriate term," Yoongi corrects him, adjusting his leather vest before turning to Jimin, "What do you want to do now?"
Jimin lets out a laugh full of malice, his adamantine eyes shining as he observes the king's seal in the communiquĂŠ.
"Are you still convinced that leaving her in that castle is the only way to keep her safe?" asks Namjoon sarcastically, Jimin shakes his head.
"In light of the new events, I would say no," he sighs reluctantly, handing the communiquĂŠ to Hoseok.
"The execution is in two days, we have to find a way to get into the castle and find her."
"He probably locked her up in the most isolated tower, he did the same with her mother before he killed her, it's as if he enjoys seeing them wallowing in fear," the blond man forcefully clutches a twig picked from the ground before snapping it in two, wishing he had the king's neck in his hands.
"Now with all those guards circling her it will be harder to kidnap a princess, but nothing is impossible for us," sneers Jungkook, but Jimin doesn't seem thrilled at the idea of having you back by his side, filling him with unease and remorse, reminding him of all the years he was absent and didn't really care how you might feel sitting side by side with the monster who killed your parents.
Someone squeezes his shoulder in comfort, it is Jin who is looking at him with a smile, "Hey, if you explain everything to her she will understand, from what you told me, she seems like a smart and intelligent girl."
Jimin grins slightly and nods.
"She is."
You look out the small tower window with tears in your eyes, you don't know how many hours you have been crying now, what your uncle did was deplorable and cruel.
You were allowed to sleep with your sweet old Harun beside you, you had to imagine that behind that concession was the cruel promise of a snake.
âWith the princess dead, there is no need for a wet nurse anymoreâ is what the king said before ordering the guards to carry Harun away to the outside, exactly in the direction of your window, before they began to slaughter her amidst the screams of both of you, you shook the bars at the window of the hope of breaking them and reaching her, but it had all been in vain, Harun died almost immediately, she preferred not to withstand the blows to spare you the suffering of watching her fight like an animal for who knows how long.
Your throat burns as you sob, her body is still there, no one has gone to cover her, they are simply waiting for the ravens to arrive.
You slowly fall to your knees letting go of your grip on the bars, your hands are encrusted with blood and your nails are broken, you clutch your hands to your chest remembering your wet nurse who apologized to you the night before for encouraging you to free Jimin, repeating numerous times that she firmly believed you would run away together.
You feel guilty, perhaps if you had not requested Harun's presence, she would not have come into the king's sights, you find yourself wishing the hours would pass quickly, you do not want to be alone with your thoughts, they are too scary, death in comparison seems like a sweet promise.
Suddenly you hear the creak of the old door opening, for a moment - your despite yourself - you brighten up, believing you'll find Jimin ready to help you, but the dream soon shatters once again, it's not Jimin, it's one of the guards, and then you frown, what is he doing here? The king has expressly ordered that no one should speak to you again.
"What do you want, sir?" you ask with a strange feeling in your stomach, the guard sneers.
"A change of room, the king has ordered it," you stare at the open door, then back at the guard, it's a boy who looks familiar to you, he has black hair and droopy eyes.
You don't ask any further questions, you get up from the floor and shaking off the dust you let him grab you by the arm, though you grit your teeth in anger you dare not say anything, it's still better than having chains on your wrists and ankles.
He takes you outside urgently, you don't see the other guards and it makes you suspicious, you remember there were at least three outside the door, what is going on?
It is when you get to the fourth flight of stairs that you feel a violent grip on your shoulder before you are forced into a small, dark room, perhaps a closet used by the servants to store items, you scream with all your might, but the man's slimy mouth immediately covers yours, it is disgusting as you try to force his tongue between your lips and with a firm conk in your throat you bite it off with all your might.
This makes him flinch away with a yelp, it's dark and you can't see anything, you can only imagine him probing his tongue with his fingers to make sure it's still attached, you spit out his blood shuddering.
"You know..." he begins panting, "I've never been with a princess, I must say you are much better than servants," he laughs like a maniac returning again to his intent, trying to lift your dress skirts, but every time he tries to sneak his hand in, he always finds a kick to hit it badly.
With your heart engaged in a mad rush, you try to defend yourself as best you can, you've never been in a situation like this, but you won't let this happen, ever.
You desperately grope for something behind you, his wine-smelling breath twisting your guts and when he comes to lick your neck you manage to hold on to something cold and spiky, you don't even need to ask for forgiveness for what you are about to do, you don't even feel a hint of guilt as you start hitting him viciously wherever you can, with a snarl he tries to block your hands but you manage to knock him unconscious with one last blow.
You open the door to the small room to escape and the man's body collapses to the floor, you finally recognize him, he is the son of the guards' captain, and a rush of satisfaction fills your chest as you think back to what they did to Harun, then you suddenly realize you are free.
You don't know exactly where you're going to go, but you have a chance to escape and you're not going to miss a golden opportunity like that.
To enter the castle they used an old and dense series of underground tunnels leading to every corner of the palace, to be on the safe side Jimin chose the one that would lead them to the kitchens populated only by servants at certain times.
"Well, we're in," Hoseok snorts, shaking cobwebs from his clothes in disgust, "Now what?"
"We should split up and check every single tower, just in case," proposes Seokjin nabbing an apple from the basket in the large kitchen, Jimin looks around wistfully, brushing against the massive old wooden table he remembers all the afternoons spent with you stealing cookies with the complicity of Harun and the cook, with the old housekeeper always at your heels repeating to you to go back to the lessons with the riding teacher.
"Be careful, the castle is swarming with soldiers," the blond warns them before going on his way, refusing to take anyone else with him.
He moves through the shadows of the palace, making sure to avoid every corner illuminated by the light of the flashlights hanging on the walls of almost every corridor, his stride is light despite the leather boots he is wearing, he is getting closer and closer to the throne room and he shouldn't, he is there to save you, but... if he kills the king you will ascend to the throne.
He tries to calm his breathing, the idea of coming face to face again with the man responsible for his downfall is too much for him, it would be delightful to sever the head from his neck and proclaim a new ruler, one man's death would be enough to end both of their nightmares.
Before he can even really realize it, he has reached the vicinity of the throne room, hidden behind a secluded corner he watches the guards lurking at each corner of the door.
Opening his palm he slowly slides a dagger down his arm to his wrist, grasps the handle foretasting the moment when he will plunge the blade into the living flesh of the two soldiers in the king's service, one of them yawns sonorously and keeps his eyes almost completely closed, receiving a shove from the other.
"Hey, I'm going for a check-up, try not to fall asleep as usual, you boar," he growls before putting his hand on the sword hilt and walking away looking around.
Jimin sneers as he licks his lower lip, drops his cloak hood and calmly approaches the displeased man.
"Why do I always have to stay on guard?" he hears him mutter, "That prick really turns my-" the words stop in the middle of his throat while Jimin is cutting it, it is such a smooth movement his that it now seems remarkably natural.
The man doesn't resist, he moans in a hushed voice as he collapses to the ground accompanied by the blond man who doesn't mind the blood smeared on his cloak, the stench of alcohol the soldier exudes, he can swear he was too drunk to try to react in any other way, everything seems to be going in his favor and he can't help but bask in the pleasure of what is about to take place.
When he enters the great throne room, he cannot help but think of the time when he found himself kneeling before the king in a humiliating position, but that night everything will be reversed.
The young man remembers the walls finished in gold and silver, but the frescoes proclaiming King Cobra as the victor are new, depicting hunting scenes and valiant battles to feed the man's narcissistic side, but they are all lies, Jimin knows and so does Cobra himself.
The king's back is turned and he is holding his hands behind his back, he is carefully watching something from the high windows of the throne room, perhaps he does not sense the presence creeping behind him or simply ignores it, the fact is that when Jimin points his sword at his back, the man does not move an inch, he remains ice cold.
"I knew you would come back for her, Jimin," there is an amused note in his voice, Jimin thins his gaze.
"For her? I came back to kill you," the boy growls, pressing the gleaming blade harder.
"Um..." the man brings a hand to his face to smooth his long beard, "So you don't care about Y/N or what might happen to her at this very moment."
A trace of insecurity quickly passes through Jimin's icy eyes, he grits his teeth before uttering the words he would not want left his lips, "Exactly, I'm just here to settle a score."
"Oh, well ... then, before you settle this unfinished score, why don't you enjoy the show with me?" the sardonic question awakens Jimin's sixth sense, as he lifts his gaze over the king's shoulder and toward the stained glass windows, just outside the garden that would later lead inside the bramble forest.
Immediately he feels the blood freeze in his veins, he rolls his eyes and tries to keep his calm demeanor, but inside he is dying.
You are there.
You're running toward the forest with a soldier behind you gaining more and more ground, you're too tired and petite to outrun him, you won't make it.
"So what? Will you take my life and satisfy your revenge or will you run to save the princess in danger?" chuckles Cobra, Jimin hisses strengthening his grip and tearing at the king's gaudy robes with the tip of his blade, he knows what he has to do, the answer is so obvious, but letting go of such a being is unthinkable for him, unbearable.
With a snarl he pushes the king away, who rolls badly to the ground, and before he can even comprehend what has just happened, Jimin puts his sword to his throat, the blade shining under the dim light of the candles and longing for the young man to go forward, to pierce the flesh of that worm and sever his head from the rest of his body, but all that does not happen.
Jimin's eyes are now as dark as darkness, he uncovers his teeth like a snarling wolf, "I will return, Your Majesty... and when you see me again, you will pray for God to save you, for I will have no mercy on your dark soul," he hisses, hurling a slash toward the king, then heading quickly and in a blind fury toward the exit of the hall.
Cobra with wide eyes grazes his own face, slowly a wound opens under his left eye and blood stains his hands.
You hiss in pain with every thorn that sticks in your legs, your dress is torn in several places and you try to catch your breath as you pray that the soldier will not find you.
You have ended up in the bramble forest so feared in your kingdom and every movement of the wild plants that inhabit it makes you tremble with terror, everything is dark and cold, you can only hear the cry of the owls that watch your silent struggle mocking you.
You manage to crawl painfully behind a large and imposing tree, lift your skirt and observe the pitiful condition of your legs, bite your lower lip with tears in your eyes, your skin is full of scratches and blood, but you can still run.
You try to pick yourself up, but noises of broken branches block your every movement, you stand with bated breath as someone wanders through the trees.
"Come here, little flower... let's go back to your room," you hear him humming with amusement, "I don't know how you got out, but you won't be punished, you're still a princess after all."
You tremble with cold and fear, it is obvious that the man is not telling the truth, you have seen your uncle's men act before and you know they know no kindness or mercy.
"Our sweet..." you frown as you follow the man's footsteps with your ears, you can't make out which direction he is coming from, "Princess..." you see something moving quickly out of the corner of your eye to your right, you spontaneously throw yourself to the left to avoid it, believing it to be the guard, but to your horror you realize it is a small fox, "... Y/N! " you scream with all your might when hands yank you away, you manage to free yourself only because the man's grip is weak, at which point you run away again.
"Run, princess, run! I'll find you again anyway!" he laughs excitedly at the idea of hunting after months locked in the castle protecting the king's life.
You are tired, your eyesight is getting more and more fatigued, you just want everything to be over as soon as possible. You don't even know where you might go in case you escape the man, you will always be hunted down by the king and his array of soldiers, the idea of giving up everything and accepting the end you will make crosses your mind, even if it means saying goodbye to Jimin for good.
Bramble bushes once again block your way, they stick to your skin and dress, they seem to be on the side of your assailant, you can no longer escape, it's over.
"Gotcha, princess" you feel his heavy breath on your neck, his arms grip you tightly before he lifts you up by weight and throws you into the shaggy, dry grass, "Look at you... actually you don't look like a princess anymore, you look like a dirty peasant girl" he chuckles, kneeling down in front of you, he touches your hair and you glower at him.
"Don't touch me, you dirty mangy dog" you growl, slapping his hand, the man's expression changes, it is no longer cheerful, now he looks resentful.
"You have such peasant language, your mother didn't live long enough to teach you manners, but I'll teach you a good lesson," he says before lifting a hand, ready to slap you in the face.
As your wide eyes stare at the man's heavy hand, your ears feel something move across the grass and stomp on it, then the sound of a slash lashing the air and suddenly you are free, the man falls to the side holding his neck but desperately reaching for the dagger hidden in his leather belt amid curses and expletives.
"Jimin..." you whisper as you see a golden flash in the darkness of the forest, the shadow falls hard on your assailant and you find yourself forcefully closing your eyes to avoid looking at that gruesome spectacle, you listen in disgust to the intense barks of the dying man.
Then everything falls silent.
You feel Jimin's presence approaching your huddled figure on the ground and you don't know how to act.
He has certainly saved your life, but he has just killed a man and you are the granddaughter of the king who took everything away from him; he is no longer the Jimin of when you were an innocent child.
"Are you all right?" he kneels at your side with a certain formality and coldness in his tone of voice, as if trying to keep his distance, hurting you.
You slowly rise up avoiding looking him in the eye, "I'm alive, so yeah... I'm fine," you whisper dimly, hissing when you try to stand up and your legs resume burning painfully, you clench your flayed fingers into small fists and when he notices them he cannot forbid himself a barely concealed dry breath.
"One moment, let me see," he offers, already grabbing a flap of your torn dress, instantly freezing when he meets your eyes wide with embarrassment.
What he was about to do is disgraceful as well as incredibly intimate.
"It's nothing, I can still walk... can you help me reach the village? I might find someone willing to let me board by ship," you ask gritting your teeth, the forest finally gains some light and you can make out the young man's surprised expression.
Your gaze falls on his black robes, although it is not very clear you understand that the darker stains correspond to the blood of the man he has just killed and to whom you dare not even cast a glance, you swallow wondering why apart from your disgust at the blood, it does not bother you at all.
"I am here to save you, princess," he murmurs decisively, "Going to the village is not safe, you can only trust me," at his words you tighten your lips into a tight line.
"If you really want to save me, then stop talking to me in that tone, we grew up together as friends, stop pulling away from me" you whisper sadly, the boy shows a flash of displeasure as your words sink into his heart, behind him several men on their horses begin to approach, one of whom is unridden.
"Jimin, more guards are coming!" exclaims a boy with hair as dark as a raven's feathers and tenacious eyes, and tossing him the reins of the riderless horse, the animal is magnificent, its coat as white as milk and its mane shining like the most precious gold.
Orobel.
With tears in your eyes you recognize the foal your father gave Jimin for his 12th birthday. He is much bigger and more majestic now, a force of nature in every way.
"You must come with us if you want to save your life, princess," says another, his shoulders broad and posture proud, he looks like the leader of the group, a large bow protrudes from his back.
You send down a knot in your throat when Jimin extends a hand toward you encouragingly, "We must go, don't be afraid of them, they are my trusted comrades, Y/N."
Your name uttered by his sweet lips shakes you to the core, he may not be aware of the effect he still has on you and you want to cry like a little girl when he helps you up from the muddy ground and hoist you onto Orobel, if he somehow notices your glazed eyes, he says nothing, probably blaming the wounds on your legs.
You really wish it were that way.
Jimin is chopping wood with an axe, he is shirtless and you watch from a distance, sitting on the grass and wrapped in a clean, heavy cloak, it is the only thing the boys have found suitable for you to protect you from the evening wind.
You notice a few drops of sweat sliding down his neck and then down to his muscular chest as he flexes his arms to strike yet another wooden stump, you swallow with a slight blush dusted on your cheeks, you didn't remember his physique being so grown up, it's all new to you as well as incredibly embarrassing.
Out of the corner of your eye you notice Yoongi picking some herbs not far from you, it makes you feel uncomfortable to have to live with so many men; when your uncle took you into custody, he didn't allow any boys to get close to you, he wanted to keep you pure for his plans. Thinking back to the man who didn't think twice about sentencing you to death paralyzes you. You have to hold on until you find your own place to stay, you doubt that Jimin will ever want you by his side; therefore, you have to think personally about your future, even if it is painful to think about.
Being with them, you get a little insight into everyone's roles within the group.
Seokjin is certainly the leader as well as an experienced archer. You have observed him several times taking aim and hitting his intended target accurately, plus he has an aura around him that inspires confidence and trust. On the other hand, Taehyung looks a bit like the jester of the situation, but you have seen him wielding daggers to catch various animals and never wished to take their place, it is clear that behind that sunny smile he hides a soul as dark as the others.
Namjoon would rather observe and devise traps than take part in an actual confrontation, but it is clear that he would never back down in the face of a real threat, just as Yoongi, who plays the role of doctor in the group, helped you bandage your fingers and legs when you arrived at their camp and was incredibly quiet, not that you felt like talking still upset after the events of the night.
Then there are Hoseok and Jungkook, both of whom are the hunters, their job is to find and kill all possible threats in the surroundings, lest their lair be found and besieged by the king's men.
Also, you found out that Jimin is a master of swords.
He masters his steel blade so lightly and sinuously that it seems to dance when he moves and lashes the air.
You are in the midst of wolves, but it doesn't scare you too much, you know they won't hurt you, or so you assume after those five days spent in their company.
You feel a figure stop behind you, you raise your head and have to squint to avoid being blinded by the sun's rays, slowly you make out the form of Yoongi who bends respectfully at your height. His feline-cut eyes seem to invite you to listen to him.
"I can see you are tired, princess, and I know you haven't slept well since you've been here," he begins with a thoughtful look, "Taehyung has managed to find suitable clothes for you and there is a safe lake nearby, I invite you to freshen up and put on something clean before resting, you will surely feel better," he says with a small reassuring smile.
You frown, undecided about what to do, the idea of a bath tantalizes you almost overbearingly, but the embarrassment if one of them were to see you naked would be too much to bear, and Yoongi seems to understand that.
"The lake is far enough away from the camp, none of us here are planning to go to that area at the moment, it is completely safe and isolated, you need not fear anything," he hastens to specify, "I will just accompany you, I will be back here immediately."
"I... thank you, Yoongi" you smile gratefully, finally trusting the boy.
"I'll go get you those clothes, wait here for a moment," you nod, sighing slightly; you turn back to Jimin, but find to your disappointment that he has disappeared.
Yoongi leaves you by the lake, the path back to the camp is not difficult; so, you assure the man that you will have no trouble. He leaves you with a shadow of doubt etched on his face, but you pay no attention to it; you walk to the lakeshore and breathe in the air at the top of your lungs, enjoying the blue sky and the fluffy clouds that sail across it like ships.
When you finally reach the lake, you feed on the sight of the crystal-clear water, the temptation to undress is very strong, but tightening your lips into a line you look around suspiciously.
Stripping off completely would be too much, so you decide to stay in your petticoat, shivering at the breeze rattling the tree foliage, you hang your clothes from the branch of an old felled log nearby.
You turn toward the shore and treading over the small stones and grass you finally slowly begin to enter the water, sighing at the almost freezing temperature.
As the water reaches your belly you hear something emerge noisily from the lake, widening your eyes you find yourself screaming and covering your chest as best you can, wordlessly you see Jimin with his eyes closed bringing back his blond, golden-strand-like hair, the movement is magnetic, and you are practically naked. No, both of you are naked.
You flinch down with the water now up to your chin and your heart in your throat, peering warily at the boy who notices you only at that moment and stares at you wordlessly at first, you notice his jaw snap rigidly and his clear eyes darken, before turning away.
"I'm done, I'm leaving right now," he says raising his voice slightly to be heard, "I just needed to get the sweat off of me," he looks uncomfortable as he tries hard not to let his eyes slide to you.
A squeeze in your stomach is all you get from his words.
"Jimin..." you call out to him as he begins to swim toward the shore, the bitter feeling like gall at seeing him move further and further away from you once again has become unbearable, "So that's it? You don't want me?" his bare shoulders tremble slightly, and you don't know whether from the cold of the water or from your words.
You don't really expect to see him coming back toward you, but that's exactly what he does by moving at an extraordinary speed, he almost looks like a water creature, then he is in front of you in his full height, water droplets glide along his perfect skin and you swallow trying not to look at his bare chest or even lower, suddenly feeling like a little girl under the icy depths of his eyes.
"You're going to get sick, Y/N... Look, your lips are already purple," he whispers, brushing your lower lip with his thumb, stroking it gently, and you feel yourself suddenly go on fire.
"Can't you just answer me to end this suffering?" you beg him with moist eyes, Jimin sighs before shaking his head, reaching up to brush your hair.
"I am not suitable for you, Y/N," he mutters it almost angrily, wishing to put an end to this.
"Or am I not suitable for you, maybe that's what you think" you smile sadly and bitterly, "I'm sorry to still be a bother to you."
"You are not a bother" he almost growls those words and you sigh shaking your head.
"Then I will be soon, you will meet a beautiful woman, marry her and have your own family, that same woman will then wonder when I will disappear from your life forever and at that point there will be no place for me even in your memories," you say shakily, "That is, if there are still memories of me in your heart."
You follow the movement of his neck as he tilts to let his eyes peer deep into your soul, his serious, thoughtful expression leaving you interjected.
He doesn't seem to want to deny but not even admit your words; it's as if he, too, is as confused as you are.
His gaze moves further down, there where your thin robe has stuck to your body because of the water, you realize with shame that it has become transparent and revealing, but you decide not to cover yourself.
You want him to look at you, to see that you are no longer a child, that you have grown up and that your body is that of a girl in her prime.
"My real problem, Y/N ... is that I'm sure I've met that woman before, but I don't feel worthy to be around her, not when I abandoned her in a castle to pursue my revenge," he whispers, the sky-blue color of his eyes seems to become more watery, "I can't forgive myself for putting her on the back burner, that's the truth," you hear the pain in his voice, the one that was missing that night in the cell when you freed him.
The need to hug him and hold him to you suddenly becomes more suffocating, with a sob you throw yourself into his arms and this time he doesn't stay stiff as marble, his arms wrap around you like a silk blanket and you find refuge in his chest.
His skin is warm against your cheek and it's a feeling you didn't think you would experience again, the boy sinks his face into your hair and leaves a kiss on your temple, before brushing the tip of his nose against you and smiling softly.
"There will never be a woman who will make me forget you," despite his words, you feel sad, still incomplete.
You sigh against his neck and close your eyes, you have gotten used to the temperature of the water and its warmth helps to relax you.
"But there will be a woman who will take you away from me" you point out in a colorless voice, when he doesn't respond you decide to loosen your sudden embrace, "I'm tired of waiting for you, Jimin" you let go of the ripples in the water, swimming back to the shore without taking your eyes off the boy who still seems to be in doubt, then a small, amused smile stretches across your face, "I'll have to find a real man who knows what it means to love a woman," you taunt him, reaching down to a shallow spot in the lake bottom, wanting to give him a taste of his own medicine.
You begin to lower the straps of your now useless robe, abandoning all symptoms of shame, you want him to react or get angry in some way, you want a reaction from him and you get it, "Maybe Yoongi? I have to admit, he's very charming and he certainly knows what he wants, he could give me-" before you can even finish speaking, Jimin pulls you toward him grabbing you by the wrist, you only have time to make a surprised sound before his lips manage to cover yours in an impetuous, possession-filled kiss.
You hear your heart beating at a rapid pace in your ears, you did not expect your second kiss to happen this way, he seems exasperated as he presses himself against your mouth for more direct and intimate contact, you open your mouth slightly when his tongue dabs roughly on your lower lip.
It is a man who is kissing you, no longer the kid of your memories, and he seems more than willing to let you know it when one of his hands comes down to tenderly squeeze your throbbing neck, he smiles against your lips when he realizes that your heart seems to want to leave your chest and he separates himself from you with one last caress of his softest petals.
"I haven't even kissed you properly and your heart is already exploding," he chuckles with a spark of mischief in his clear eyes, "And who would you like to give such purity to, Yoongi?" he shakes his head hissing those words like an angry snake ready to attack.
You clench the hand that is still wrapped around your neck and strengthen his grip, wishing that the feel of his fingers on your skin would stay with you, "I've always wanted it to be yours, Jimin," you say softly, tilting your head at the slow descent of his hand.
"I'm very different from the nobles you grew up with, Y/N.... Don't expect me to catch you with a petticoat on," he continues by caressing a thin strap, lifting the fabric just a little, "Or for me to look away while you undress," he leans down to kiss the corner of your lips, reaches down to your chin and continues along the entire line of your neck, as water you adapt to the touch of him until he reaches your breast, your nipples turgid from the temperature of the water and his attentions are raised against the transparent fabric, the man can practically see their shape and color, he cups one breast as he pushes his head against your chest, kissing the soft, tantalizing flesh.
He adores you with his mouth and your sighs make him feel like a lion in a cage, his golden hair captures the last light of dawn as he pushes you against the shore and gets between your legs, studding you with kisses and caresses, returns to your mouth and finally with his tongue captures yours, inviting you to follow him.
You encircle his neck with your arms, trembling with excitement at the way he lets you touch him and the way he touches you, takes you by the hips and holds you against his massive, secure body.
"Jimin" you whisper in his ear as you feel something heavy and stiff against your inviolate intimacy, he mumbles something unintelligible, he seems lost in his bubble continuing to lick and kiss your neck, you tremble feeling incredibly hot, an unknown force urges you to rock against him and cling to his back with your fingernails, groaning suddenly.
This seems to awaken him and the spell is broken.
He flinches away, staring at you with agitation, in his gaze remorse is the one thing you don't want to read, but it's there.
"You need to get dressed," he warns you dangerously and with difficulty before pulling away from you completely, hurting you.
"H-Have I done something I shouldn't have done?" you ask bewildered, still with chills in your body from what his hands were capable of doing to you, this version of Jimin completely opposite from the boy who was kissing you only seconds ago is like a punch to the stomach.
"I said get dressed, Y/N! " he abruptly blurts out, "And stay away from Yoongi, I don't want to see you flirting with him, you're not a village woman," he runs a hand through his damp hair nervously, before stepping out of the water without caring about his nakedness, you turn your head away from him, the feeling of shame has returned to invade your limbs, and with a stone in your heart you bring your arms to your chest, stepping out of the water and groping for the dry clothes that Taehyung and Yoongi kindly gave you.
You don't see Jimin move away from you, clenching his fists and hitting the trunk of a tree until his knuckles are mangled, finding himself staring at the blood rushing to the grass with resentment, trying hard to forget your mouth begging his to be taken or the softness of your body that has enslaved him at an embarrassing speed.
You are worse than a circle of hell for him.
When you return to camp with your face pulled into an indecipherable expression, the boys study you in confusion noting also the strange attitude of Jimin who walks a few steps ahead of you.
The two of you seem farther apart than before and this certainly does not go unnoticed by the others, Yoongi tightens his lips as he reaches for the blond man who is walking back into the forest in search of more wood.
"Hey!" he exclaims behind his friend, "What happened at the lake?" he asks, Jimin snaps an eyebrow up.
"So you knew I was there?" he curls his upper lip over his teeth appearing menacing, but Yoongi's hard gaze doesn't lower.
"She's crazy about you, so it's clear that the fight stemmed from you, am I right?"
This simply rattles the blond more, "I didn't do anything at all, don't play cupid, man, because it won't stick with me."
"Or maybe it was a one-way conversation and you didn't even give her a chance to talk, you're such an asshole! She doesn't deserve a bastard like you, a guy who doesn't grab a chance like that when he has it at his fingertips," Yoongi blurts out, starting to turn back, but those words turn on a red flag in the younger boy who grabs the older one by the leather vest.
"And what would you like to do, Yoongi? Seize the opportunity yourself? I've seen how you watch her pretend to gather herbs for your infusions," at which point Yoongi chuckles wryly, his black eyes twinkling.
"I won't lie, I like her. But I also know to whom her heart belongs, and as a doctor I can well say that if you continue to keep her on the edge like you're doing now, that heart will get sick," he sighs, flinching, "Don't make me punch you, Jimin... you're no fool."
"I'm a criminal and she's a princess," he says without emotion on his handsome face, Yoongi snorts as he rolls his eyes.
"You are her hero, the crown wants her dead and you saved her, now she's a woman like any other and nothing forbids you to be with her," clarifies the older man with a raised eyebrow, as he walks away Jimin remains frozen in place.
âShe's a woman like any other.â
No, you are not like all the others, you are his princess and will remain so forever, which is precisely why he cannot allow another man to lay his hands on you.
Abandoning himself against the bark of an old tree he wonders if being with you would be worth it as a form of protection, he would never hurt you and would ensure you protection for life, the very idea of giving you his love has always terrified him, anyone who ever loved him is dead and he wouldn't want anything horrible to happen to you because of him, but now things have changed, you need him and he... needs you.
He finds you sitting in front of the fire, you're focused on the crackling flames, and if you notice his presence, you don't show it at all, you pull the blanket tighter over your shoulders.
Your thoughtful, melancholy expression suggests to him that you are still remembering the events of a few hours ago, recognizing that he was a real jerk for the way he treated you earlier, kissing you like a lover and then rejecting you like a cheap whore. He still feels ashamed and makes sure that each of his friends is asleep in their own tent before sitting silently next to you.
He hears you wince a little and out of the corner of his eye notices you turn your head away, refusing to acknowledge his presence. He smiles slightly, even as a child when you were offended by something you would puff up your cheeks and turn your head to the side, just as you are doing now.
Yes, you are still his lovely princess.
"I'm sorry," he murmurs, moving a few millimeters closer to you, "I shouldn't have spoken to you and I especially shouldn't have touched you like that."
You frown in annoyance, snorting slightly through your nose.
"I don't object to the way you touched me, but you should keep quiet a little more," you mutter venomously, "You have the hands of an angel, but the tongue of a devil," you say casting a glance at his hands, you see the wounds and your heart sinks, you want to kiss them and curse that thought.
Those words trigger two completely different reactions in Jimin, on the one hand they help make him feel guilty, on the other he finds himself smiling internally, because you really don't know how devilish his tongue can be, if used in the right way.
"And you a mermaid's lips," he says taking your chin between two fingers, staring at you with such intensity that you feel naked.
He mirrors himself in your glossy irises and sighs, "Forgive me, after so many years of believing I'm not right for you, I forgot the most important thing."
"The most important thing?"
"Yes, you."
You gasp in surprise, registering his words only after a few moments of unbearable silence.
"You're saying that..."
"I am saying that I want to stay by your side, to be your protector and also your lover, if you will still allow me to be, Y/N."
His irises as clear as the waters of the lake gently brush against you, you feel your eyes tingling, and before he can see the tears streaming down your face you rush toward him, embracing him as if your life depended on it.
In a way it does, because without Jimin, your last piece of happiness that endures from childhood and which you have finally found again, you would have wandered in the void of loneliness for who knows how long.
You think back to your parents, to Harun, to all that you have lost and come to the conclusion that you were not yet ready to lose Jimin too, but he is here. You smile, pulling up with your nose before resting your lips on the boy's soft ones, who more than willingly accepts to surrender himself in your arms that are as small as they are warm and that scream familiarity.
"So you haven't forgotten me," you whisper, pulling away slightly, the blond shakes his head, snorting.
"Never, I tried to protect you by keeping you away from me, the king wants me dangling on a rope ... or at least it was until you made the mistake of saving me" he utters the last words with a note of reproach in his voice, staring at you sternly for the way you put yourself in danger.
But you don't lower your gaze, you won't feel guilty for saving the man you love.
"Now the two of us are here, together, do you want to blame me so much?" you murmur softly and his heart melts like snow in the sun.
He shakes his head, no, he cannot blame you. He, too, for love has made foolish and terrible decisions, and he will not let go of the chance to make up for all the pain he has caused you.
"I could never," he hisses almost painfully, closing his eyes as your fingers graze his hair and his lips reach for you, snapping another kiss.
You let him embrace you and he hold the back of your neck with one hand as he tries to deepen your contact, making it more intimate and slower than the more feverish kisses the two of you exchanged at the lake.
Your heart vibrates like the wings of a hummingbird, happy to give yourself in that way to the one man you have always loved and whom you know for certain you will love all your life. You would never have agreed to an arranged marriage; you hoped with all your heart that your uncle would never find a suitable suitor for you, and fortunately it did.
A commotion from one of the seven tents surprises you both suddenly, you separate slightly and cast a glance toward Namjoon's tent.
"He must have dropped one of his swords," Jimin mutters irritably, you, on the other hand, are traveling with your imagination, imagining sharing the tent with Jimin for the first time and blushing, since you were rescued the boys have taken turns to stand guard and let you have their little station, although strangely enough Jimin's guard duty was lasting for too many days, and as a result you have always used his bed made of furs and straw. Not quite like the one in your room at the palace, but by now you were well used to it, considering the tower where your uncle locked you up.
"Come with me," he offers you his hand and you stare at it for a few moments, before extending yours and linking your fingers in a secure grip, "I know a place a little more... peaceful" the word slips between his teeth persuasively, you don't know what will happen tonight, but if he asked you to throw yourself off a mountain, you would do it as long as he stayed by your side at all times.
"Is it far?" you ask raising your skirt slightly, trying not to trip over tree roots and stones.
The blond looks ahead without letting go of your hand, "Just a little bit" he turns to you with his laughing eyes and you are enchanted at their color, he is lighter and more affectionate, he almost looks like that child Jimin you have missed so much.
You walk just enough to reach the thick, lumpy roots of a large tree, its branches entirely covering the night sky that until moments before was towering over you with its stars.
"Jimin... is ..." you try to say, but there is really no doubt.
The man nods.
"We are inside the lovers' forest, Y/N... this is the tree where according to legend their marriage was celebrated."
You look around, almost hoping to see the blooming arch where the first king and queen of your kingdom were married, eventually giving birth to your dynasty, but you see none of it, disappointed to realize that it is just a clearing of grass and flowers that seems to bow its head to the great tree that towers above it all.
"That's not how the stories described the place," you mumble slightly, your mother and Harun's stories spoke of magical creatures as spectators, flowers of every color and every shade decorating the lawn and the guests' walnut chairs, not to mention precisely the large archway on which roses and climbing plants had grown in honor of the two newlyweds.
You hear Jimin chuckle behind you, his hands encircle your hips and your back rests against his chest, you feel his warm breath on your neck, and goose bumps cause you to shiver.
"I never believed those stories and you know it," he says in a clear, amused tone, "But as I grew older I realized that something really happened here," he whispers in your ear.
With an elegant hand he lifts your chin slightly, bringing your gaze to the trunk of the large tree, you sharpen your vision and finally notice them.
"Runes?"
"Runes," the boy confirms, "This is the Lignum Vitae, the tree of life according to the legends, little princess," he chuckles as he turns away, his leather boots hardly audible among the uncultivated grass and damp earth.
"You don't believe that either?" you snort with a smile, you know you've always been the one to believe in everything your country's legends have handed down, but you would expect some cooperation from him, after all, he was the one who brought you here.
"I don't believe in magic, but I believe that lovers gathered here to bring offspring into the world, relying precisely on this tree," he explains with a shrug.
In fact, talking about a marriage in the stories was much easier if you wanted to tell something about the origin of the royal family to innocent children.
"They succeeded, didn't they? Look at me!" you laugh, pointing with a little bow, and Jimin does, looking at you with an affection and love that until morning he jealously kept to himself.
He walks to the tree and touches the runic symbols gently, in his mind an idea takes an increasingly clear and tantalizing shape.
"If magic really existed and we strengthened our ties to the tree, would everything fall back into place?" he wonders softly with furrowed brows, not wincing when you hug him from behind, as if expecting your closeness.
"We cannot get back what was taken from us, Jimin... even magic is useless in the face of death," your hands are intertwined over his heart, you feel it beating hard and fast, like a free and powerful horse.
"Life is what interests me," he admits, turning toward you.
He takes a few steps forward and you are forced to take as many steps backward, you don't see one of the raised roots of the tree and fall back with a little yelp, Jimin is quick to catch you before you can hit your head, and you both square off with wide-eyed stares.
"If I asked you to give me the gift of a child, here and now, what would your answer be?" he asks seriously.
You don't think about it for a single moment.
"I would answer that it is one of the desires that bind me to you, Jimin."
Another kiss comes, followed by another and another, his mouth demanding yours with such need that it seems almost savage, as if he wants to feed on you after all the years spent lusting after you in the shadows, fleeing like a wanted man of the worst kind.
He accompanies you on the damp grass and reacquaints himself with your neck, using the softness of his rosy lips to tease your tender skin, with the tips of his pearly teeth biting it lightly, and this causes an outcropping of dark, purple stains along the column of your throat, amused at imagining how others might react the next day once they set their gaze on you.
You don't even care, his attentions are a novelty, you welcome his mouth and tongue on your body as a blessing, you wouldn't turn him away from you for anything in the world, let them accuse you of being a prostitute, you and Jimin know the truth, which is that your body and soul have always belonged to the blond and no one has ever touched you as he is doing.
When he gets to the modest bodice of your dress you do something that must be strange to him, or at least you sense this from his gaze when you lift your skirt and stand helpless in his hands, like one of the wooden logs he cuts daily.
"What are you doing?" he asks with a furrowed brow.
Agitation clouds your cheeks, what's wrong?
"You said you want a baby," you say almost shyly, perhaps you misunderstood? But no, he had made it clear earlier....
"I did say that, but I don't understand why you just lifted up your skirt without responding to my caresses and now you stand still" his doubtful expression embarrasses you, that's how educators told you to do it, "Forgive me, my request was too bold."
"No!" you immediately exclaim, "I want to, only I was told to do it this way."
You see his nostrils flare to snort with irritation.
"Right...you've been locked in a castle full of soulless puppets" he shakes his head, "But that's not how I want to take you, Y/N, I prefer you receptive" he whispers persuasively, "Just like today at the lake" he continues, stroking the bare skin of your legs, pushing into your soft inner thighs, you feel your belly tighten heatedly.
"Let's leave certain unnecessary distances to those old nobles," he goes on, kissing you behind your ear, a tremor shakes you when his lips wrap around your earlobe, licking it with the tip of his tongue, "Take off your bodice, love, show me what a good girl you are, hmm?"
You nod without a drop of saliva in your mouth, Jimin's tongue hisses like a snake and you are drawn to his drawling words, you are his forbidden fruit and he can't wait to bite you and find out how sweet you can be and how deliciously you can bleed.
Each button that leaves a buttonhole is a soft kiss from him over the light blouse that still holds your breasts, mentally moaning the blond curses himself for not enjoying your eager body sooner and perfect for his fingers.
He would like to tear off your clothes instantly, but he restrains himself, how would you return to others without instigating some desire in them?. No, he is gentle when even the last garment leaves you and he can finally quiver at the sight of your naked body shivering under the icy night air, or perhaps it is his eyes that make you tremble?
He lifts himself off your body and tosses his tunic to the side, your eyes drink in the sight of his hard chest and the slight hair that descends to his private parts, which you did not see that morning, but you distinctly felt on your warm intimacy, and the air escapes your lungs when you notice something that in the sunlight has strangely escaped you, perhaps because you have tried not to stare at him too much, his chest is studded with small, shiny white lines, they are thin and almost intangible, but they are there.
You brush those lines with a tentative finger, feeling the reliefs with a question mark in mind, and in doing so his skin twitches, "What are these?" you ask gently, Jimin gives a small smile and kisses the knuckles of your hand.
"Every day spent without you," he pronounces solemnly, the wind rattles the leaves of the large tree and for a few moments it is as if you feel it voice whispering over the blond man's words. You chase away the feeling and embrace the boy once more with a tear running down your cheek. You were a fool to believe that he had abandoned you when all he had done was think about you.
You have a feeling that the air is warmer now that his head is buried in the hollow of your breasts, his moist tongue playing with the tip of a nipple initially causing a strange tickle in the center of your chest before a glowing sensation slips between your legs, making you blaze with desire, it's all more direct without your petticoat and you love every second of it.
You bite your lower lip, holding back a moan louder than your sighs, you don't want it to go away again, but it's stronger than you when the delicious sting of a bite makes your thighs tremble around his bare hips, you feel the length of his cock twitch against your skin, it's heavy and it arouses you to know that you have that effect on him, at that thought the wetness descends between your thighs against your will and you try to hide, but Jimin can read a woman's body and you are still too inexperienced to go unnoticed by a hunter like him.
"It's normal" he breathes on your lips imparting another deep kiss, "It means you like it" the tip of his nose rubs against yours trying to soothe you, your eyes fly to his cock when he lifts a little to settle himself better and all the blood rushes to your head, you don't know whether from the shame of seeing a naked man or from the incredible wave of pleasure that washes over you at noticing how thick and needy he looks, there is white liquid at the tip, dripping thickly down his veiny length that seems to contract under your curious and hungry eyes.
Then a thought alarms you, "Does it all have to go in there?" you point to your intimacy, though you don't know for sure, your educators had been vague and you never touched yourself, sometimes you felt the need as you imagined what an adult Jimin might look like, but you never dared to break the imposed rules.
A princess does not do such things as a street woman.
Yet, that's exactly where Jimin caresses you, his fingers dance over your moist folds with mastery and you block the instinct to close your legs, as you might when with his thumb he rolls over a spot that gives you particularly intense and wonderful sensations, "Jimin!" you grab his wrist trying to slow down his devilish circles, but your pelvis continues to chase pleasure against your will, you throw your head back and Jimin kisses the line of your jaw as if it is impossible for him to stop kissing you in any way.
"This is called the clit, love," you hear him smile, "And this is where I'm going to go all in...my cock will go into your sweet little pussy, Y/N," he hums moving his fingers to your needy slit, entering lightly with his light fingertips, you gasp at his sudden dirty language but find that you like it, it makes you feel desired.
You feel his fingers move inside you as his thumb continues to caress your clit, your lower abdomen trembles and stutters in despair with each jolt of pleasure, your teary eyes are lost in the immensity of the tree that seems to silently observe what is happening.
Jimin never goes beyond the elastic barrier he senses beyond your entrance, he merely teases you within inches of your entrance and it is amazing how liquid and copious your pleasure flows past his wrist until it drips onto the grass. His instincts are stronger than he is, he must have a taste of your sweetness and you abruptly hold your breath when his tongue catches another wave of your honeyed essence, you are devastating to his taste buds and he wants more, you find yourself crying and contracting your hips as you try to escape his mouth, he devours you by insisting on your scarlet pearl and when more drops of pleasure come he runs to lick them away from your slit, he seems to be going crazy or maybe he is.
"Stop, Jimin... Stop-oh!" you stiffen instantly when a firmer lick shakes your body and makes you explode in such pleasure that you squint and cry.
"Ssssh, princess" you feel Jimin's lips gathering your tears before placing a kiss at the corner of your stammering mouth; his lips are wet and glossy; he is the embodiment of sin.
He is still breathing down your neck as the thickness of his cock begins to furrow your folds to gather as much moisture as possible, the thick, shiny tip of his cock swirls around your slit and you reflexively contract your pussy muscles, it is almost funny how despite the pleasure that has shocked you, your pussy still tries to invite him inside her.
"It's going to hurt, my love" he warns you with a sharp breath, you nod immediately, this part has been repeated to you many times by those women whose job it was to instruct you in your duties as a wife, though none of them had ever told you that you could experience such pleasure that you would be left gasping for breath.
"I know," you smile, but Jimin seems a little anxious.
"It will be short-lived, I'll be gentle and-" you caress his face affectionately, you know that too, he would never intentionally hurt you.
"And I will have your baby," your heart warms every time you think about it, a baby with the same cheeks and eyes as Jimin? You would love him infinitely, Jimin melts into a real smile.
"Ours."
He intertwines a hand with yours as he prepares to enter and the next thrust makes your eyes widen, he is incredibly slow and gentle, but you have never had anything inside you before and you feel all too clearly his length piercing and widening your inner walls at his will, Jimin is breathing shallowly with sweat beading on his forehead in an attempt to keep calm, you hold him deliciously and you are extraordinarily beautiful as you stare at him with your eyes lost and your lips half-closed and swollen from his kisses.
"I-It doesn't hurt, don't worry, my love," you manage to murmur with a smile, that's right, it doesn't hurt.
It's just a strange sensation, the stretch stings and tingles, but it's nothing unbearable or terrible as you've been led to believe all your life.
Or maybe Jimin is a very good lover, whispers a little voice in your head.
Even so, you feel something warm dripping from your slit after a more direct lunge, running down one of your thighs and ending up on the damp grass; it is your blood, but you pay no attention to it, just as you pay no attention to the quick absorption of the earth near the tree roots.
The blond man nods, but he reaches down again to take a nipple in your mouth, massaging your breast as if he expects milk to come out of it already, your clitoris twitching pleasantly and his cock sliding more sinuously, now you can feel it tapping deeper and deeper, you can almost feel it in your belly and you accompany his thrusts by moving against him, you cling to his back with your fingernails, you hear him moan loudly and that sound excites you, you wonder if...
Before you even think, your hand slides over his chest and you rotate your thumb around one of his smaller, darker nipples, he stiffens with a hoarse sound in his throat and the intensity of his thrusts increases, he clings desperately to you as you tease him again, encircling his hips with your legs.
In the clearing the obscene sounds of your relationship are lost in the wind, the leaves of the tree moving gently almost as if blessing your union.
You kiss him once more and let his tongue take over your mouth, abandoning his deep sighs in you, your walls begin to vibrate ecstatically each time his cock repeatedly plows through them, your belly heats up and you squeeze his swollen length into your pussy, preventing him from leaving at all, Jimin increases his jet speed, now sure of the pleasure that envelops you like a bubble and crushes you against his body, he rides the waves of lust like a stallion, your lungs run out of breath and the world swirls around you.
"We're going to have a baby," he growls decisively, his once ice-blue eyes now a deep electric blue, "And I'm going to bring your uncle's head to you, love," he announces, repeatedly pounding into you at a more assertive and rough pace, his pleasure is snaking incandescently, he can't wait to cum inside you and fill you to the last drop, you will surely accept him as a good wife should.
You tremble with panting and his fierce lunges, praying that he will never leave you, your core is on fire, your walls wrap around him with desperation, and your clit is ready again to let you go in a spiral of enjoyment. You want it all, you yearn for it, you need it, you would kill for it all.
Making love with Jimin.
Yes.
Carrying his child.
Yes.
Having your uncle's head on a silver platter.
Yes.
You hold him in your arms as the first hot jet is shot inside you, he is still buried between your legs as he continues to come, you whimper and at yet another strand of his seed you stiffen, you open your mouth wide in a mute sound as you come with no more strength.
Your body is shaken, unable to recover and you don't understand why, you try to escape when Jimin comes out of your sweet depths, but he blocks you with his weight.
You stare at him shocked when he returns with his hand to your pussy, repeatedly rubbing your perky, still rigid pearl, you shake your head.
"No, it's too much!" you cry clutching your legs, but he continues fearlessly, "I can't do it," you gasp pleadingly.
"It's what you need, honey" he murmurs in your ear, "You're so sensitive you don't realize you need another orgasm to soothe your body, I should have fed you earlier like this, sweet little thing" he sighs with his wrist locked between your thighs, bliss finally comes in little spurts of pleasure that make you gasp and Jimin's thumb stops torturing you, you sag against him without strength, feeling nothing but the vibrations of your intimacy still reliving the intensity and strength of his presence.
"Thank you," you say turning a little toward him, who stares at you with all the love he has for you, "For everything."
But the blond man shakes his head, "You did it all, my princess, I just waited for you" you hear regret in his tone of voice and you're sorry, you don't want him to think back to all the time that kept you apart, now you're together and that's all that matters.
"We will be fine now," you nod.
"When I regain the kingdom" a kiss, "Our baby will be born" another kiss, "And I'll have the king's head to make you a gift" he snaps an even more intense kiss, "We'll be even better, to love you this and more, Y/N" he stares at you with devotion and you lose a beat.
"And I want it, I want it all, Jimin" you let yourself be cradled in your love's embrace and you notice a flash of lightning in passing, you widen your eyes and turn toward the big tree.
It was only an instant, but you swear you saw the runic symbols glow gold.
You kiss Jimin's neck with a smile, foretasting a flood of sweet happenings for both of you, you feel your lap throb gently and you know, a new dynasty is about to be brought into the world.
ââââââââââââââââââââââââââââââ
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#bts#jimin x reader#jimin x you#bts smut#jimin smut#bts au#bts fanfic#bts fanfiction#bts imagine#jimin imagine#jimin fanfic#bts x reader#jimin ff#bts x y/n#jimin x y/n#jimin fic#jimin au#seokjin fanfic#namjoon fanfic#yoongi fanfic#hoseok fanfic#taehyung fanfic#jungkook fanfic#bts kingdom au#wanted!jimin x reader#outlaw!jimin x reader#bts au fanfic#jimin au fanfic#park jimin x reader#park jimin x you
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LoTR Characters + Pregnant Reader (Wife!Reader)
Back with more parent AU because it's some of my favorite fluff! Consider this a Part 1 to an anon request thatâll be on its way hehe (also an AU where something happens with CelebrĂan apparently đĽ)
Warnings: conception, pregnancy-related illness and symptoms mentioned, very long post lol
Aragorn
⧠Neither of you had made any concrete plans. No set in stone hour of your marriage reserved for the growth of your family or dubbed too early. Thus, you are unsure how your husband will feel about your news, the fact that you got yourself checked out the first moment of illness, mother's intuition in full service already, it would seem. You cannot keep your smile to yourself, though, as you stroll in search of Aragorn, hand hovering about your own waist as if in disbelief. He had just returned from a hunting trip when you found him, smiling shakily at his amusement when you pulled him immediately aside into the next room over. "What troubles your heart?" The man had intuition of his own, years of silent observation- there was no lying to him. "I just learned that I am with child, Aragorn," you took his hand, seeing no point in being anything but direct, "due for the birth next spring if all goes well." "With blossom comes the next blessing of my kin," your husband replied, that wise look in his blue eyes causing you to shake your head fondly, "what could be more beautiful? What a gift you have given me and how could I ever repay it?" Shaking your head once more, you simply grinned and, sighing with relief and anticipation alike, replied that being the amazing father you know him to be will be all you need. Leaning forward, Aragorn laid his head against yours, brushing your noses as he held you.
⧠Looking out upon the kingdom, the realization that is is his kingdom still sinking in, and that he has made this place a home for new life as well. That this is the very reason he fought for a safe world. It brings such a rush to his heart that he goes off in search of you at once, kissing you warmly and caressing your still-small bump.
⧠Aragorn loves doing anything he possibly can to make your days easier, treating you like the queen you quite literally are! He pampers you with treatment like massages, washing your hair for you, drawing you baths, and the like.
⧠While you no doubt have many people at your disposal, quite similarly your husband enjoys cooking for you by hand and memorizes everything that makes you sick if anything as well as the random foods your cravings make you obsessed with, trying to creatively incorporate them into everything.
⧠You knew it already, but your pregnancy brings about the reminder that this man has such a way with encouraging words, his voice the only thing that cuts through the clouds of your changing moods.
⧠Aragorn is the one who tells you not to be so hard on yourself, that you are doing an amazing thing and you are desirable as yourself, no more and no less. No need to hide yourself, no need to perform, no need to feel anything less than the beautiful soul you have always been. Remember, he tells you, he is going nowhere, and you will endure all together.
Legolas
⧠For so long had you and Legolas hoped for your little life, long enough of trial and hope that youâd all but given up until you felt a shift. Felt on the brink of illness at nearly all times, seeking healing for a mystery illness and leaving with news that had your husband holding you for minutes on end, tears sliding down his cheeks, and refusing to let go of your hand all day. Holding you like you might shatter, his other hand wrapped gently around your waist where his hand can brush the curve of your soon-to-be-growing belly. âWe did it, my love. We will finally be three.â
⧠Your husband grows wistful, getting a distant look in his eyes before smiling and reminiscing on his younger days. âWhat demeanor shall our little one have, do you say? I would not mind having two of you,â he teases, while you say a child like him would be much easier!
⧠âBoth of your little ones sound quite healthy.â âBoth?â You are shocked, but Legolasâs grin never falters, nor does his surprisingly tight, hearty grip upon your shoulders. âTwins,â he keeps repeating in wonder throughout the day.
⧠You and Legolas have a bet running on the twins, if they are to be identical or not. You think they are both boys, while Legolas thinks he has a little girl waiting for him, too. âWishful thinking,â you tease him. âAbsolutely,â he agrees, smiling softly at you.
⧠As time passes, he does tease you about your waddle. âShall I slow down a bit?â Cheeky prince, but thatâs why you love him!
⧠Legolasâs eyes never fix you with anything but awe. He is simply amazed at all the wonders your body is capable of and what it endures. Even though that wonder also manifests as him almost constantly asking if you are alright, it is worth it when your husband looks at you as though captivated by a goddess.
Boromir
⧠Boromir caught you with your eyes bulging out of your head, not a single chance of delaying your discussion. Such news as you have just received can only be considered a blessing, and yet you still are shaken to the core with the spiking precursor of excitement and hope, hope that your husband would be happy. Your words burst forth the moment he took your hands, asking you whatever was wrong and nodding faster and faster with each step of your detailed medical visit. His smile grew and grew until he could hardly help himself, taking your face in his hands and pulling you into a kiss that more than assuaged your worries. âWhy do you look so worried? Such a wonderful blessing was beyond anything I could imagine,â he tells you, a hand reaching to rest gently upon you.
⧠He all but tackles you to bed that night, kissing again and again your lips, your cheeks, and down finally to your belly.
⧠Boromirâs appreciation of your body never ceases your entire wait. His hands always caressing you, his words always sweet upon your ears, especially to cut through the deprecating ones your own lips utter. It baffles your husband that you cannot see how utterly glowing you are.
⧠One hundred percent though will he be teasing you about the odd cravings you get; even as he goes to fetch them heâs making faces, asking if youâre sure, joking about what strange taste the little one has.
⧠You suspect you are carrying a son while Boromirâs guess is a little girl. After you remind him that a mother knows, he rests a hand over your bump and replies with a teasing grin âWhy canât a father know as well?â âBecause you do not have to carry him for the better part of a year!â
⧠One of Boromir's favorite things in this world is the sight of how his lent garments fit you tighter and tighter, bringing a twinge to both the loving and the possessive sides of his heart...and his hands to wrap around you or cup your cheeks and pull you into a kiss!
Gimli
⧠His intuition is off the proverbial charts. It is he who first makes any mention of your chances, stating you should not strain yourself in your condition. You are confused, you even protest, but in the end you have your little appointment and your husband has a smug little moment of âI told you soâ before the realization of just what heâd been sensing hits him, dropping his jaw and sending his arms flying about you, lifting you up into the air with a hearty laugh. âThe mighty line continues! And thanks to such a beautiful lassie no less! You'll want for nothing, I promise you, and no harm'll come to either of you while I yet draw breath."
⧠Has strong opinions about how well you should be eating, so barring you being stricken with sickness Gimli will be making or otherwise providing for you the heartiest of meals, all the things he believes are necessary to raise up a strong little dwarfling. Thank the fortitude and solace of his people, but you are sick very little your entire journey with this and all other little ones you share!
⧠Given the strength of dwarven genetics, you both assume that you are expecting a boy; thus, your husband insists on crafting a tiny axe for him. âFor when heâs older, of course!â Gimli assures you, waving his hands defensively.
⧠No worries about your pregnancy weight here- suffice it to say that a dwarf finds the extra pounds quite appealing and has no hesitation about showing you such!
⧠Any exhaustion you feel is the only thing that stops Gimli from taking you around to all his friends and loved ones and likely anyone else who will listen and announce that he has a child on the way!
⧠Nesting is a very strong instinct of his! Gimli builds and crafts by hand all of your baby's furniture and decor, even an adorable mobile of horses, little dwarves with pickaxes, and little effigies of your favorite animal all dangling above his crib! Leaning his head against your belly, he asks the baby "Well, what do you think? Only the finest for my little flame!"
Frodo
⧠Your husband wasnât sure at first. Not sure if he would feel whole enough after all he endured to bring a life into this world, but you, oh, you⌠The one who brought life vividly rushing back to his heart, color returning to his life and comfort to his pain. One day a pang struck his heart and he realized it would mean the world if after it all he was able to create life, and more importantly to have something so amazing come of your love. Soon after you both eagerly hoped for the signs, and it took but a few months. Frodo worried you would be sick, but confirmation comes after weeks without your cycle, nothing more. For once, no pain shall come to Frodo Baggins or those he loves.
⧠Your health is his greatest concern, so much so in fact that Frodo has soon befriended practically every midwife in the Shire, melting them with his endearing eagerness to know all he can about your possible afflictions and what you need. His concerns soon gather you the proverbial village of help should you ever send Frodo off for something beyond his breadth.
⧠It breaks Frodo's heart when his nightmares or moments of panic coincide with your own fragile emotions for the first time, for he should be caring for you, not the other way around, but when you hold each other, tears soaking into the opposite shirt, he realizes that what you two have is an understanding and trust strong enough to fortify each other even in darkness.
⧠In case you were not already aware, you are so lucky in your choice of husband! Discussing names soon emerges into your conversation and it almost takes you aback how quickly agreements on a girl and boy name are reached!
⧠The one time during your entire wait for your little one that brings tears to Frodoâs eyes is the day you bring home a bolt of fabric and when he asks what it is for, you answer to make him and your new arrival matching garments.
⧠You catch him smiling widely at you, love glowing in his bright blue eyes as he watches you do even the smallest things, your little waddle or the way you practice folding diaper cloth. All you can imagine is those same eyes fixed upon a babe in his arms, shooting Frodo the same look right back.
Sam
⧠It seemed that every other conversation you shared with your beloved Samwise revolved around babies, so much so that your few still-unmarried friends had grown sick of it. Anyone with a baby in the Shire, though, knew who to look toward for care! You and Sam gushed over little clothes, little hands, went on for goodness-knows-how-long about how much you'd like a little Sam and he wants a miniature version of the loveliest girl he'd ever seen followed of course by you saying why not both? Sam loved life so much, saw beauty in growth and creation and every joy in it, so of course he wanted a big family and all his infectious sunshine on the subject just made you fall in love with him more and more. Months of trying passed, though, before you came to Sam in a daze, before you cupped his precious face in your hands and whispered to him we did it. Before he tackled you to the soft grassy ground and held you, weeping tears of joy and kissing your hands, your cheeks, finally your lips once he'd spoken how much he loved you.
⧠Takes to sleeping a bit lower, his head nuzzled against your torso. In the night you can feel his nose and lips ghosting over it and even hear little whispers when you both can't sleep, but you say nothing, letting Sam have his moments with the little one.
⧠The worry he has about everything the first time around. "Are you sure you can eat that? I don't want you to get sick." "Is that too heavy?" "Don't trouble yourself a mite when I'm right here, I'll bend over for it." "Alright, only if you're certain nothing will happen to the baby, sweetheart." As much as you want to remind him that you are still a fully functional woman, you know that Sam is an action man and this is his way of showing he cares.
⧠The meals he cooks you. You will be eating like a queen all because Sam wants to keep the baby strong, of course! As a bonus, it truly is like he knows what sets you off and avoids those things without even having to ask.
⧠âImagine all the wee feet running through here,â Sam muses in bed one night, your head tucked in the crook of his neck. âThe little hands grasping ours,â you add. âAll the little ribbons we can tie in a girlâs hair.â âTaking your little boy out to the garden!â Once again, your friends act positively sick of how sweet you are, but inside anyone can see how deliriously happy you and Sam are and feel warmed by it.
⧠âWhen the time comes,â Sam always assures you, your hand tightly in his, âIâll be right here. Wild horses could hardly drag your Sam away.â
Merry
⧠Your reveal is made a bit anticlimactic thanks to your husbandâs teasing ways. âYouâre knitting.â Glancing down at your work, you simply nod. âYes.â âYou never knit.â Merryâs eyes narrow. âIs it for somebody?â âIf you must know,â you set your needles carefully in your lap and tease back, âthis is for your child. Any complaints now?â âMy child?â Jaw dropping, Merry looks at you like youâd just offered him the whole of Middle Earth. âThatâs right,â your voice softens, even cracking a bit with emotion at the sight of his smile, âyouâre going to be a father, Merry.â
⧠Merryâs adorable little habit of making you a pillow pile to lay on during your time of the month carries right through to your pregnancy. And of course it continues even when you remind him youâll not be able to stand up from in because he will be right there to help you up!
⧠Because you've taken up knitting, Merry wheedles with all his charm and love and kisses an additional creation from you: a sweater made from the same yarn as baby's. "You are lucky to be so adorable," you tease him, looking up from your work to kiss his lovely lips. Maybe, you thought, a whole matching set for three would be in order, thoughâŚ
⧠Another one who teases you, joking about how he is finally able to outrun you!
⧠The type of father to chastise the baby whenever they kick you too hard, lecturing to the front of your dress about hurting your mother and how that simply wonât do, then looking up at you with a humored smile.
⧠Compliments increase at least twofold upon your revelation, Merry never sparing the kindest words about your strength, certainly, but mostly your beauty. Never once during any pregnancy do you feel unloved, unwanted, unattractive, for even when your eyes can find no light within your reflection there your husband is practically worshipping every corner of your form.
Pippin
⧠Desire for a family was something that had drawn you two together as a couple, though you may have found yourself talking Pippin down from ten children! âMaybe start with five,â you would always tease him. So the moment your hypothesis is tested and confirmed, a grin you canât remove spreads across your face and you run to collect everything for your surprise. Surprise is the only word you can use when Pippin opens his gift and sees the tiny knitted hat youâve placed inside the box. âWhat is this for? Little small, is it not?â âIf it was for us, perhaps.â It ended up taking you reaching out for his hand and resting it upon your lower belly for the massive grin to spread across his face, but once it does Pippin is laughing loudly and giddily, swinging you back and forth in ecstasy!
⧠Runs to get you whatever your need with barely an question. After all, who is he to say what it's like being with child, and if you want it, you shall have it. Hot water bottle? Certainly. A cup of tea? Of course. Three more pillows? Why, he'll strip your whole bed down. Panics a little if the request is to relieve pain, so prepare to hear a crash or the shuffle of a trip or two before you have the item in hand or on body.
⧠"What is this for?" "What are these?" Lucky you love him, your husband does have many a question of all the supplies you gather for after your new addition is welcomed. "Oh, to keep the hands safe? That makes sense." "Wait, you need to wear that... to catch the bloo- oh, my." He gulps. "I'm going out right now. I'm getting you a cake and some jewelry and some flowers and anything else you'd like."
⧠Can barely keep his hands to himself. Pippin was always the most affectionate husband you could ask for, but now? Now you two are practically a package set and nary can you travel without his arm around you, hand about your waist and gently running up and down over your little growing bump.
⧠Your baby seems to have inherited your husbandâs personality, for even before the birth many signs of how active your little one is are present! Those poor ribs of yours will get kicked more than a few times with all the fluttering your little one stirs up inside of you! Pippin, of course, wants to feel it all and luckily he is never far from the scene. If he is, though, you bet he will run!
⧠Pippin is always laying with his cheek resting on your belly, talking to the baby about anything from how his dayâs gone to how they have the most amazing and beautiful mother. Your heart canât help fluttering every time.
Faramir
⧠Faramir has the most uncanny way of reading you like a book, a habit endearing as it is frustrating. Thus the moment he catches you smiling to yourself he is smiling back, approaching you with teasing question of what has you so happy. For once, though, you have the satisfaction of catching your husband off guard, resting your head against his shoulder and a hand upon his chest as you tell him you just cannot wait to see him as a father. "Someday, my love," he takes your hand and kisses it, "if I am so blessed." Giggling, you shake your head against him. "Blessed indeed! Someday shall be this fall," you answer, and peeling back from him you receive another spike of satisfaction at his wide blue eyes, the drop of his jaw and the race of his heart beneath your hand. "Are you certain?" You nod. This time, he takes both of your hands in his and with tears in his eyes thanks the heavens for you even as he shakily laughs, your bright demeanor never failing to put a smile upon his face. "Our child will be so loved." "I know."
⧠Your husband finds himself lost in reverie more and more often, drifting out of reality into some distant, but nowhere near out-of-reach, dream of your family, seeing you as a mother the most beautiful sight he can conjure.
⧠Faramir adores holding you from behind, his hands curled gently over where your bump forms and his head resting gently upon your shoulder, flowing hair tickling your cheeks and neck lightly.
⧠"One for each of us," is Faramir's joke when one of Gondor's finest medics grants you the knowledge that you are not expecting one child, but two. Your husband is there in the storms, the waves of anxiety rolling within you over being there for your twins. "You are not alone," he always reminds you, a hand joined with yours right over the twins' little hearts.
⧠If you wanted a husband who actually does his due diligence learning all he can about growing babies, birth, and postpartum care, then Faramir is another excellent choice! Heâll be spouting off facts about the whole thing ranging from what size the babies currently are to why you might have contractions after giving birth. Your mood determines whether you listen in or tell him to kindly stop.
⧠Just as with you, Faramirâs insecurities sometimes get the better of him, but they also fuel him, bringing a fire you can see to his fair eyes as he speaks with determination how he will love all his children equally.
Eomer
⧠Pride glows upon your countenance as you flit about the kitchen putting the finishing touches on the roast you'd made for dinner. A kingly feast is in order, for not only had you heard your husband performed exceptional drills this day, but you yourself are the host of something exceptional. Eomer and you have been enjoying each other's company much these days, so the news is not so much of a shock as it is a celebration, exuberance at a line enduring, two dreams fulfilled as one, especially for your husband, who speaks often of how he longs for a full, boisterous home. Six if he's lucky. Well, you can hardly wait to help him along, pulling Eomer into your arms for an enthusiastic kiss before he can even toe his boots off, and when he chuckles and asks what has taken hold of his beautiful wife you let your news fly. Shouting for joy with abandon, Eomer lifts you up into his arms bridal-style, kissing your lips again and again. Dinner is all but forgotten as he kneels before you, holding your waist and pressing kisses all over the bodice of your dress and thanking you for making his day, nay, his life, perfect.
⧠Eomer is always proud of you, but the moment he finds out you are with child that feeling swells and positively drips off of him, every outing with him suddenly seeming quite like a chance for him to show you off. An arm around you at all times, a smile of great joy and satisfaction, news shared to all who dare make conversation with you both, and even kisses in public! Eomer is simply on top of the world and not a thing will topple his spirits.
⧠As somebody who never much studied the workings of women, though, Eomer is⌠a bit out of his depth. You will have to teach him some things like why your emotions swing so or what to look out for to know when your water breaks. This man has been in battle, seen heads roll in the most literal sense, and yet when you describe the eventual passing of your placenta his entire face contorts in a look of horror that has you all but doubled over in laughter.
⧠âYou look so beautiful with child,â Eomer purrs, âweâll have to do this again sometime.â You smack his arm, but cannot resist giggling at the way your husband still gives you butterflies.
⧠Your new addition had not even arrived yet and Eomer is commissioning a child-sized saddle, unable to contain his excitement as he describes all their future rides to you!
⧠As you dream up names, Eomer has many suggestions from the great halls of his own people, ancestors and great warriors alike, but making considerations of your own background is equally important to him, so he is more than willing to go back and forth for the perfect solution.
Eowyn
⧠No one had thought it possible, but they should have known. Impossible was not in Eowynâs lexicon, and that was exactly why you loved her, one part within many of why you became her wife. And now, the healer confirmed you were carrying her child. âŚVery well, technically her banner-bearerâs child as the two of you had been forced to get a bit creative, but to have support and help from those who had begun with such uncertainty meant the world. Even Eomer had come around, having offered similarly, but of course you had to remind him that Eowyn wanted a child of her own, not a niece or nephew! Without GuthlĂĄfâs, er, donation, you would never bear witness to the broad and beautiful smile on your wifeâs face, the tears glistening in the gorgeous blue of her eyes. âA childâŚâ âOur child,â you add, leaning forward until your foreheads touched and noses brushed, a tearful smile upon your own face as your wife gently held your waist.
⧠Having worked so many times as a nurse lends well at least to Eowyn, for she is firm and unrelenting in her urging, nay, forcing, you to rest. No ifs, ands, or buts are to be accepted from your strong-willed beauty, let her dote on you, for she does it with great pleasure. And besides, the harder you fight, the harder she'll work to keep you lain down.
⧠Understanding the pain and symptoms of your time of the month completely also translates; thus Eowyn is ready with remedies for your aches and pains, hot water and herbs awaiting you. She rarely snaps back at your moods, choosing to be silent in the worst of times because she knows. Really, she does.
⧠She cooks for you, and whether you say anything about that or not likely depends on how willing to hide your honesty behind the hormone excuse if it is not taken well.
⧠Reminds you constantly how strong you are. In your lowest of moments, the times you struggle to stand and straighten your aching spine, feeling massive and utterly useless, Eowyn is there to hold your hand and tell you that you are hosting and creating life as she so speaks. You have made the ultimate sacrifice of your body and the greatest of pain to bring just as great a blessing to yourself and your wife. Far from useless, you are divine.
⧠âWhat does it feel like?â Resting her head on her hand, the one that wasnât lain against your fluttering belly, she questions you as the baby kicks. âFor you?â Part of her wishes to have this experience herself someday, while another takes your descriptions with trepidation. She does not enjoy being restricted, after all.
Haldir
⧠âLie down, please, my love.â Haldirâs concern with your sickness increased daily as did the pain of seeing you feeling so weak and ill. You tried to push through and for as much as he loved your strength, your husband was not having it this time. Pride was not worth seeing you doubled over again, whether from pain or, arguably worse, illness. You relented in the end, resting and beneath the spinning of your head at the end of the day feeling not a seed of energy to protest an inspection. Healing herbs had you perking up a bit, and perked up you needed to be when the dark-haired, round-faced healer nodded sagely and with a wide smile told you you were with child, and these early days were likely to be the worst. For the first time in days the sobs that escaped you were accompanied by a smile, your face utterly breaking as Haldir held you against his chest, weeping too and thanking you for all you would endure for this blessing.
⧠Physically carries you places as often as he can be spared to do so. Lifts you up bridal-style to move you across your home and sits you up before he feeds you. Your illness brings out a tender, caring side you have never seen in your strong, stoic husband, but it makes your heart swell that much more for him and for the life you two are to have with your child.
⧠Another symptom you experience is the aching and swelling of your feet, but Haldir sits you down facing him and makes the best work of them he can, hands gentle as always as they soothe your skin.
⧠Even in the later months as your illness abates, though, your husband remains protective as ever, standing between you and any potential harm with the fiercest look upon his face and a hand upon your middle, even if the threat is an object youâve hurt yourself on.
⧠The way shock melts into a wide, ecstatic smile unlike your husbandâs typical demeanor when the healer repeats that yes, she could definitely hear two heartbeats beside yours is worth more than any gold in the world. Haldir pulls you into his arms, chuckling deeply. You feel his head shake slightly, slowly, atop yours in wonder.
⧠When you sleep, Haldir will always be holding you close, whether it is an arm draped over your bump loosely if youâre hot or need space or else you fully tucked into your husbandâs warm embrace.
Galadriel
⧠Galadriel is actually the one who assuages your worries that your dream will not come true, having full faith in you as much as the magic of this world. And she is right, of course, confidence proven in the aid you receive from a member of her guard and even the way she knows it to be true before the healer even confirms the news. As much as she jokes about seeing a glow around you, the width of her beautiful blue eyes, the shine therein, tells you that your wife is as elated to hear it beyond a shadow of a doubt as you are: you are hosting a little life for you both to nurture.
⧠You being pregnant only aids in her mysterious nature. She can be convening in a council with the wisest of minds from afar and will use you as an excuse to step away at her will. "If you will excuse me. My wife is with child." They are not even aware she is married. Some of them may not understand how it all works, but before they can ask any clarifying questions Galadriel has already slipped away to be with you.
⧠One tendency you unwittingly adopt is falling asleep in the oddest of places, your exhausted body giving out upon its own terms. Always will you wake up draped in one of your wifeâs shawls or blankets, however, no matter how odd the spot.
⧠Both of you can hardly resist the allure of tiny garments, smiling every time you see them. It also rings a bell of realization within your minds as you hold a tiny gown up to your midsection. Truly as you speak, there is a tiny body within you! What magic it is to be a woman!
⧠What magic indeed, you later reflect as another pain strikes your back not long after. Hosting tiny bodies came with all the assorted blessings and curses of your kind, one not long without the other. Sighing, you make to approach the chaise across the room and soon your wife is with you, moving its drapes aside and lowering you gently to its cushions, a soothing hand tracing up and down your aching spine.
⧠"I hope she looks like you," you both turn to each other and say simultaneously, mothers' intuition firmly aligned in your hearts, from which so much love for each other pours from, Galadriel immediately drawing you closer to press her lips to the crown of your head.
Arwen
⧠Elrond had been quite hesitant about your relationship with his daughter at first- were you the best choice for her? Could someone like you keep her safe? And how, of course, would she be given the child she so desired? Questions you yourself had posed to her, but she refused to listen, telling you her mind, and heart, were sealed. Little do you know, however, that all of Rivendell would come to love you as their own, see and praise the way you cared for Arwen, and in Lindirâs case even provide the healers with a chance at you giving your wife the family you both yearned for. The moment you tell her the healersâ method worked and she is to he a mother, you both are, her features lighten, taking on the wondrous joy of youth again as she grabs your face, falling onto you with a kiss of pure love.
⧠So accusing if you've overexerted yourself, leaning in closer with a look of sometimes-teasing, sometimes-serious scrutiny. "Surely you did not carry that up the stairs all by yourself, right?"
⧠Do not even bother trying to fake feeling up to anything, whatever the task, for Arwen can see right through you and will insist you sit down, taking your hands in hers. "Rest. You have your burden- let me take the others. My heart bears no ill."
⧠Her affection gets softer, light touches to your waist and hands resting over yours. One hand upon your hip or belly and one on your shoulder as you two sway gently, foreheads pressed together.
⧠Arranging your nursery is one of Arwen's favorite pastimes: painting a gorgeous meadow mural upon the wall, stitching a soft toy to lay within the crib, asking you which fabric you prefer for blankets.
⧠Your bundle of joy can make sleep difficult, but one silver lining Arwen points out in a low whisper one morning is how many sunrises youâve now gotten to share with each other.
Elrond
⧠Reservations about having a fourth child so long after the others disappeared every time Lord Elrond caught sight of you holding a neighborâs child or even just showing the loving care that had him convinced he would be well even marrying a second time at all. Every smile, every sweet thing you did, all of it came back to Elrond in a rush when you told him he was to become a father again. For once he did not feel too old, too tired, nothing but the elation of his every desire unfurling to him before his very eyes from your warm embrace. To be chosen as the father to your child was the greatest honor the lord of Rivendell could imagine.
⧠Your every ailment is minimal, for Elrond knows exactly what is best for each and every one. Nausea? The perfect tea blend awaits to calm the waves you feel. Aches and cramps? Your husband is happy to give you the most heavenly massage, his hands finding every needed spot as if by magic. A swell of emotion? He does not speak unless bidden to, simply holding you through sudden waves of tears, frustration, or both until he feels your body relax against his.
⧠Being married to an elf with the gift of foresight comes with the benefit of worries soothed, but also a joke shared between you both. For many a time you teasingly chastise him not to look too far and spoil the surprise of whether you have a son or daughter on the way!
⧠Standing behind you, Elrond rests his hands around your middle and presses a kiss to your cheek. Just when you think the bliss of this moment, of having your whole little new family all together within your husbandâs arms, cannot increase is when Elrond shifts his hands, taking on the great weight you carry. Peering up into his soft blue eyes, your whole body deflates in a sigh of sweet relief as he holds you.
⧠He can never truly understand your experience, but Elrond has witnessed this process. All he wishes is to tell you all your pain shall pass, even the worst memories will fade and ease, but such words will sound insensitive, so all he does is continue to hold your hand and stand proudly at your side.
⧠One thing your husband cannot resist is showering your future little one with gifts, even jewelry for when they are a bit older and the tiniest circlet to place upon the beloved head, matching Adar's perfectly.
Want to meet the little ones? Part 2 coming soon đ
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#lord of the rings#lotr#lotr imagines#lotr x reader#the fellowship of the ring#aragorn#legolas#boromir#gimli#frodo#sam#merry#pippin#faramir#eomer#eowyn#haldir#galadriel#arwen#elrond#female reader#wife reader#pregnant reader#parent au
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ON THE ROAD.
PART I
Bangchan, Han & Jeongin x reader. (s,f,a)
Chapters: Part II
Synopsis: A group of friends going on a road trip that, little did they know, will change their lives forever. (19,1k words)
ON THE ROAD PLAYLIST.
Author's note: My inbox is always open for feedback and your wild theories hehehe enjoy this one too! x
A famous author once said that friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too?"
For years, Chan believes that in order to make friends, he has to have common things with them, for example, having the same favorite books having the same hobbies, etcetera.
That's what he thought until he found out that in real life, that's not always the case.
Chan learns all about friendship when he meets his friends. He first met them at the art school 8 years ago and they remain good friends to this very second.
Because they're now living in different places and working in various professions, they have this weekly group video call every Friday at 8 pm.
Chan is so busy editing videos that he almost forgets that it's Friday and it's ten minutes to 8, he hurriedly opens his laptop to start a video call with his friends. He knows it'll take them some time to come online so he notifies his friends through the group chat too, not forgetting to add that he'll not make them watch a foreign movie tonight in the hope that they'll hurry.
That's one thing about Chan, he's passionate about movies and dreams of becoming a great movie director someday. Other than that, Chan has many great qualities about him. He's smart, he's good looking, he lives a healthy lifestyle, and a true social butterfly, something about him that makes people comfortable being around him. Those qualities combined with his dimpled smile create this magnet that attracts a lot of girls.
However, Chan only has eyes on one girl and one girl only.
"Oh, hi, Chris!" A voice that's way too familiar says through the laptop, a voice that evokes something deep within him and sends a tingle down his spine.
"Hi, Jinnie!" Chan says back with a smile.
-
Jinnie's Friday night is like any other night, she's drawing in her studio with the scented candle filling the room with the soft and sweet smell of vanilla. At times, she'll take a break to sip her tea and check her phone for the time.
It's almost 8 and she wonders why the group chat isn't blaring with notifications, she pouts thinking that everyone is too busy to have a video call tonight.
Just like the universe heard her wistful thinking, her phone chimes with a notification and her face lights up as she opens it.
It's Chan sending a link to the video call. Jinnie wastes no time to get on her laptop and clicks on the link that takes her to where everyone is going to virtually meet. A few seconds later, her face appears on the box on the screen next to Chan and that means she's the first to come online after him which is not a surprise.
"Oh!" She delightfully gasps, feeling happy to see a friendly face even though they had one of the video calls a week ago.
"Hi, Chris!" She greets him while smiling and enthusiastically waving her hand through the screen.
"Hi, Jinnie!" Chan replies with his sweet, dimpled smile.
It's kind of adorable to find him waving with his muscular arms and Jinnie can't help but smile. She adjusts her desk lamp to give her proper lighting then stacks her hands together.
"It's always us, huh?"
"What?" Chan asks as he leans closer to the screen.
"It's always you and me," Jinnie says, pointing at him and then at herself while half laughing.
Chan cracks a laugh at that, "And that means Jeongin will come next."
"Cause we all know who will come last."
"You mean who will come late?" Chan corrects him with a smirk.
Jinnie lowly chuckles and grabs her cup of tea from the other desk, "How are you, Chris?"
"I'm doing great, I guess," he answers.
"I guess?" Jinnie squinted her eyes at him as she repeated his words, "You've been staying up all night again, did you?"
"Well, uh..." Chan tries to make up an excuse but fails, he covers his eyes in embarrassment and laughs it off, "I tried not to."
"Are you working on something?"
"Yeah, I'm editing these videos for a short film I did with a friend," he answers.
"Oh? Is it the same one as the one you told me?"
"No. It's a different one."
"I know you're working, I hope you keep taking care of yourself well, Chris," Jinnie warmly tells him, genuinely concerned as a friend.
Jinnie has always been like that, kind, attentive, and a great illustrator, she's as gentle as the colors she uses in her art. She's beautiful but not solely because she's the only girl in this group of friends.
Jinnie's outer appearance matches her inside and you rarely find that kind of person.
The other often think of Jinnie as an angel that unluckily fell on this part of the earth, right in the middle of this friendship, and has become a blessing to everyone ever since.
"Oh, there's Jeongin!" She gasps, showing the same enthusiastic and bright smile whenever she sees her friends.
In other words, there's lucky to have Jinnie as their friend.
-
The letter feels heavy on his hand even though it's only a piece of paper, a piece of paper that holds his future and will forever change his life.
Jeongin should be happy, this is what he wants but something is tugging at his chest. He slips the paper back into its envelope and hides it in between pages of the book he's reading.
He reclines on his chair and runs his hands through his hair, feeling torn but he doesn't know what makes him feel that way. He closes his eyes as if it would help him shutting his mind off and ignoring the chimes that come from his phone until he remembers to check it.
Using his hand, he gropes around the table to find his phone without looking and unlocks it to find some notifications, the first three are coming from Chan.
Jeongin rushes on his chair realizing that it's Friday and he forgot about the video call. He immediately gets on his computer and logs into the link Chan sent him through the group chat.
Despite knowing that he's late, he remains calm because he knows he'll not be the last to join, there's someone else who will come later than him.
The screen takes a moment to load the video call and he appears on the lower box between his two friends, Jinnie and Chan.
"Oh, there's Jeongin!" Jinnie exclaims in joy, as beautiful and bright as usual like she's bringing her own sun wherever she goes.
"Well, Chan said we're not going to watch a weird foreign movie so here I am," Jeongin jokingly says.
"Thank you, Jeongin," Chan says, poking his cheek with his tongue, easily offended as expected which truly shows he's the oldest one in this group of friends.
"But the last one we watched was really good," Jinnie says, defending Chan with his exquisite taste in movies.
So here's the thing, everyone knows that Jinnie and Chan would make a perfect couple but it's a mystery why they're not dating yet.
Jeongin knows for sure that Chan has a feeling for Jinnie and it's so obvious, but he can't say the same about Jinnie even though it's impossible that she missed all of those signs.
Or maybe love is a simple thing because Jeongin is someone who watches from the outside and it's different for those two individuals involved. But still, Chan has been there all along and Jinnie doesn't see it, which infuriates Jeongin at times.
Whenever he sees them together, he gets the urge to point out everything but instead of that, he lets out a sigh and then puts on a smile.
"So, how are you guys?" He asks.
Jeongin has always been the quiet one, but don't take his silence as ignorance, he's very observant. He watches everything and remembers everything to the tiniest details, that's also why the others become extremely careful with what they say or do around Jeongin because they know he has their cards under his sleeves.
But being observant also means he has sound judgments about things, he's fair and sensible and that makes Jeongin the most reasonable one.
"I'm great. I'm having a cup of tea with me," Jinnie says, showing the cup of tea she's holding with both hands with her eyes forming two crescents as she smiles.
"And I'm good, thank you for asking," Chan says with his dimpled smile.
"I'm not asking you, Chris," Jeongin jokes.
Chan presses his lips together until they form a thin line and lets out air through his nostrils with his eyes closed while Jinnie is giggling.
"How was the recital going?" Jinnie asks.
"It went well," Jeongin answers.
Honestly, everything went so well, he's still playing piano as always and has shows to do but something about it makes him feel a little distressed that he feels the need to shift the talk.
"Well, we're not watching Chris' weird movie tonightâ"
"It's not weird," Chan groans in disagreement and a glare aimed at him.
Jeongin refuses to correct his earlier remark and continues, "So what we're going to do tonight?"
Truthfully, Jeongin really needs the distraction tonight and he doesn't mind at all even if it means he has to endure three hours of watching a movie he can't understand, plot or language-wise.
"I have an announcement," Chan says.
"What kind of announcement?" Jinnie curiously asks with her eyes comically widening.
Chan swivels his chair to the side and plays with a stress ball in his hand, "I can't say anything yet until everyone gets here," he says.
Jeongin groans as he reclines on his chair and covers his face, knowing that it'll take only God knows how long until the last person finally comes online.
"In that case, I'll get myself a can of soda first," he says to everyone, then gets up from the chair.
When he returns to his room, Jeongin notices that the fourth person has joined the video call. Actually, he can hear it even before he enters the room from his babble.
"I know you guys have been waiting for me. No need to get that excited!" Han says, acting like he didn't just make everyone wait for him as usual.
-
Han is trapped in his own head like usual, arranging words in his head to make good lyrics for the track he made last night. He pictures those words in his head as he hums the melody to himself and then jots them down in his notebook.
He puts the headphones on again to hear the track once more, singing the lyrics to fit the melodies and only realizing that his mom is calling for him once she appears in front of him.
Disoriented, Han sits up on the bed and puts his headphones down, "What's wrong?"
"I've been calling you for dinner!" His mother scolds him.
He lets out a chuckle and takes his headphones off altogether, "But it's only five," he says.
His mother must have been so used to seeing him in his room and unaware of the time.
"I put the dinner in the oven," she informs with a dramatic head shake before exiting his room.
Is it dinner time already? He looks around for his phone on the bed, he's sure it's somewhere in there. He's flinging the duvet and then there's the sound of his phone falling onto the floor.
"Owh?!" He gasps, covering his small mouth with his hand.
Han rushes to the other side of the bedroom and picks it up, fortunately, his phone doesn't crack or break, but the time...
"Oh??!" He gasps again in a rather panicky tone.
It's almost 9, he's late for the video call again. He rushes to his laptop and it won't turn on because it runs out of battery.
"Ugh!" He groans as he struggles to plug it in the first time and groans again as he plops onto his chair.
It's always like this, losing track of time when he starts working on something. He remembers it was only four when he started writing his lyrics and now it's almost 9 pm.
It's like the laptop knows he's in a hurry it decides to take more time to boot and Han nervously taps his fingers against the desk, knowing that he makes his friends wait for him for the umpteenth time.
His fingers are typing as fast as they can to log in to his account but it takes him another moment to load the video call.
"Work faster you piece of aâ"
"Welp. There he is!" Chan exclaims, looking annoyed but relieved at the same time.
"Thank you for finally gracing us with your presence," Jeongin says with the right amount of sarcasm in his tone.
"Oh, hi, Han!" Jinnie says, being the most welcoming out of the three.
"I know you guys have been waiting for me. No need to be that excited!" Han playfully says. He knows they're upset and tries to lighten the mood.
In his defense, he didn't do it on purpose. It becomes a habit at this point and he knows everyone will eventually let it slide.
"I guess you've been busy working on your lyrics again, huh?" Jinnie asks, propping her hand under her chin.
"No, I was helping my mom fold the laundry," Han makes a joke out of his own life.
Unlike everyone else, Han is the only one who hasn't figured out yet what to do with his talent for producing music. He's been working on some tracks but that's about it.
"Anyway, what kind of weird movie are we going to watch tonight?" He asks, shifting the talk to something else.
Chan clicks his tongue and says, "Thank you for making it obvious that you didn't read the group chat."
"Well, I opened them but didn't read them like all cool people do," Han confidently says with a sly grin plastered on his face.
Despite the uncertainty of his career, Han thinks he's the coolest of them all and doesn't care if anyone thinks otherwise. He's funny, and he's the mood-maker of the group but in all honesty, he's just being his authentic self 24/7.
"Okay, now since we're all here..." Chan says, sitting upright in his seat.
"Oh, so we're not watching a movie tonight," Han says in utter confusion, this is why he shouldn't be late so he won't miss out on a lot of things.
"Just shh..." Jeongin hushes him with a finger in front of his jutted lips.
"You're not like... dying, right?" Han hesitantly asks because Chan puts on a serious face, "It's cause you look so pale..."
"I've always been pale. What are you talking about?" Chan grumbles in disbelief, not accepting the fact that his pale skin makes him look like he's dying to him.
"Hannie!" Jinnie sharply calls his name, that is her way of sparing herself from using profanities
"I told you to just shh..." Jeongin scolds him more.
"Okay, okay, I'll shut up," Han says with both hands raised in defeat.
"Anyway," Chan reels the conversation back to the main thing and claps his hands together to get everyone's attention, "I need you guys to get days off for a week at the beginning of next month."
"But why?" Jeongin asks.
"Jinnie, Jeongin, I give you guys a month of forewarning so there's no reason you can't do it," Chan explains, not taking any excuses.
"And you're not concerned about me?" Han asks, feeling left out.
"That's because I know you're always available," Chan shortly answers.
"I need to ask permission from my mom!"
"To do what?" Chan squints his eyes at him.
"Permission to go on a road trip with you guys," he innocently answers.
"You're not some 12-year-old going on a school field trip," Jeongin reminds him that he won't be needing that.
"Oh, yeah, okay," Han meekly says with a nonchalant shrug.
"Well, that means I only need to finish some of my drawings early," Jinnie calmly says.
Chan smiles at her through the camera, "I know you can do it," he sweetly says.
"Thank you, Chris," Jinnie says with a smile.
"Wait, wait, you haven't answered my question," Jeongin interrupts the tender moment between the two, "Why?"
Chan sucks air through his teeth and stretches his arms out, not sure if he's trying to show off his muscular arms or just wanted to stretch them out.
"Because we're going on a road trip!" He announces in a cheery tone.
Jinnie grins in reaction and then claps her hands in excitement, "That sounds fun!"
"Where are we going?" Jeongin further asks.
"I don't want to spoil it yet. It's a surprise," Chan replies.
"I doubt that it'll be a good surprise," Han says just to annoy Chan.
"Just trust me on this!" Chan remarks with a confident smile.
"I just can't wait to spend time with you guys," Jinnie warmly says, being not shy to show her excitement which makes Chan get a little flustered.
"For the rest of this month we'll stop the weekly video meeting," Chan comes with a shocking announcement.
It's the only way they can hang out with each other and knowing that they won't meet until further notice kind of bummed him out.
"Why? Why? Why?" Han repeatedly asks like a parrot.
"So you guys can sort things out," Chan explains, "and Jinnie needs time to finish the drawings, right?"
"Yeah, but..." Jinnie looks a little taken aback too, "I'm sad that we'll not be hanging out for weeks."
"But we'll meet again," Chan assures her.
He clasps his hands in front of him and goes into serious mode once more, "I need you guys to gather at Jinnie's on the first day of July and I'll pick you up there," he informs.
Jinnie nods
"What should we pack?" Jinnie asks, even getting her notes ready to write them down.
"Pack clothes for a week, swimsuits, sunblock, hiking shoes..." Chan lists various things.
"Hiking shoes?" Han gasps, "I'm not going then."
"Even better," Jeongin lightly comments.
"Any more questions?" Chan asks everyone.
Han raises his hand even though he's not in a class, "How's your little sister doing?"
This is where Chan gets a little more serious, he hisses and then says, "I'm not taking any more questions then."
"Why are you so against us dating?" Han pokes fun at him, knowing that he doesn't like it, especially when he asks about his sister.
"Wouldn't it be nice if we become in-laws? We can be brothers for real!" Han annoys him more.
"I'm going to say this once and for all, I don't want to become in-laws with any of you," Chan firmly remarks and then crosses his big arms together.
"So that means you're okay with us dating..." Han relentlessly annoys him with a smirk dance on his face.
Jeongin drops his head into his hands and shakes his head witnessing the interaction while Jinnie is quietly giggling with her cup of tea in hand.
"How am I going to survive not seeing you guys for weeks?" Jinnie sadly says with a pout.
"Not me. I'll manage," Jeongin coyly says, reclining on his seat while playing with his hair.
"We'll see each other soon," Han assures her this time.
Jinnie smiles and cups her cheeks with both hands, "I can't wait to see you all," she says.
There's a moment of silence but the comfortable kind and not conjure any questions, everyone lets it go on for another moment before it gets to the time to end the video meeting.
"See you guys soon," Jinnie says, blowing air kisses through the camera.
"See you guys. Don't miss me," Han says with a sly grin on his face.
"There's no being late," Chan warns a specific someone.
"Jeongin, don't be late!" Han averts the blame to Jeongin.
Jeongin shakes his head again and raises his hand at everyone, "Bye, everyone!"
"See you guys in a few weeks," Chan says, waving his hands close to the camera then ends the video meeting.
-
A FEW WEEKS LATER
When you asked Chan if you could tag along on their road trip, he said no for what you guessed these two reasons: one, he hates seeing you around the boys and two, he hates for you to see him act around the girl he likes.
But, of course, in the end, he said yes for one solid reason: because you're his sister and he can't say no to you.
It's so obvious that Chan is nervous and you guess it's because he's going to meet the friends he hasn't met in weeks and more importantly, a certain someone that he secretly misses but can't tell.
As Chan's little sister, you notice these kinds of things, the change of attitude or how he gets nervous all of a sudden.
"Unclench your jaws, Chris," you remind him.
"I'm notâ" he stops himself from talking and does as you told him, unclenching his jaws.
He may have unclenched his jaws but now his shoulders tense up. You take matters into your own hands and push his shoulder down.
"You're way too nervous to see a friend," you poke fun at him.
"Shut up!" He spews out and you know it's coming out of his nervous system.
Everyone knows that Chan likes Jinnie and he's always been for only God knows how long, you guess you're not the only one annoyed by the fact that they're not dating yet because they're just so perfect for each other.
"Okay, shutting up now," you say, making a gesture of zipping your lips together to not let the scary mad Chan come out.
The car makes a turn toward an apartment building and Chan parked it next to the entrance. It seems like Jinnie has been waiting for his arrival, she comes rushing down the stairs from the second floor where her apartment is.
"Oh, my God! Chris!!!" She excitedly comes up to him with open arms
Chan is obviously as excited to see her and catches her right into his arms, he even lifts her off the ground for a moment and gives her a spin.
They're so stinking cute that you can't help but smile watching them through the rearview mirror.
"Good to see you!" She says once he puts her down.
"Good to see you too," Chan says back while holding her hands in his.
When you deem that it's the right moment to insert yourself into the scene, you get out of the car and slowly make an entrance.
They're so immersed in each other that you hesitate to burst their cute little bubble.
"Hi!" You awkwardly wave your hand at her.
Jinnie's face lights up when she sees you, "Oh, hi! Long time no see!"
You come up to her to exchange a hug with her, "Long time no see, indeed."
The fact that she, possibly, would become your sister-in-law doesn't bother you at all, Jinnie is as perfect as one can be. She's beautiful and kind, the nicest human you've ever known, you couldn't be happier if that becomes true.
"I hope you don't mind that I brought her along," Chan says, flashing a thin smile at you.
You shoot him a side eye in return and stay by Jinnie's side.
"Are you kidding? I'm happy that I have a girl companion," she says, pulling you close to her side and squeezing on your shoulder.
"Jinnie, do you mind if I use your bathroom?" You ask, getting the urge to pee all of a sudden.
"Not at all. I'll take youâ"
"That's okay. I know where to go," you kindly refuse her help to show you where her bathroom is.
That way, you can give them another moment to catch up with each other. As you climb the stairs to Jinnie's apartment, you see how Chan is grinning from ear to ear and it seems like it will stay like that until the road trip ends. Maybe that's also another reason why he agreed to let you join the road trip, Chan needs a good wingman by his side.
-
The moment he got out of the taxi, Han immediately thanked Jeongin non-stop.
"Thank you Yang Jeongin," he says, calling Jeongin by his full name.
"If you didn't pick me up, I'd be dead late," he grumbles, lowering his voice as he's a bit ashamed to admit it.
"I just knew you'd be late," Jeongin says while hoisting the strap of his backpack higher on his shoulder.
Han hurriedly puts on a smile to greet his friends, acting like he almost got here late for the road trip. He sees his two friends, Chan and Jinnie putting their stuff in the back of the car.
"Rejoice everyone. Your favorite boy is here!" Han announces his arrival while walking in big, confident strides.
Chan and Jeongin just leer at him and Jinnie is the only one giving him a proper welcome.
"It's so nice that everyone's here!" She exclaims, smiling even brighter than the scintillating sun.
She gathers everyone into a circle and puts her arms around Han and Chan's shoulders.
"I missed you guys," Jinnie says, jumping on her feet like a child. She really is the special glue that sticks them all together.
Deep down, everyone feels the same way, Han must say it feels good to reunite with them, it evokes the same feeling of coming home. They're huddling together for a big group hug, relishing that longing for each other.
Han breaks away first to take the last empty spot on the trunk for his backpack, "Dibs!"
Chan and Jeongin groan in unison but at the same time, not surprised to see this display of childish behavior from Han. Chan continues organizing everyone's stuff in the trunk with Jeongin's help while Han comes around the car.
"I'm riding shotgun!" Han shouts, calling dibs for the passenger's seat.
Jinnie appears from behind the car, "I think Chan's sister will ride shotgun," she informs.
Han thinks he misheard her, he lingers by the car door and turns to ask her, "Who?"
"Chan's sister, she's coming with us for theâ oh, there she is!" Jinnie points at the stairs.
Han's eyes are following where she's pointing and turns his head that way.
"Oh, everyone's here!" You say as you look at everyone from the top of the stairs.
Time suddenly goes so slowly as you descend the stairs, softly smiling as the gust of wind blows your way, sending your hair flying, and with the sun shining down at you, it creates a halo around your head.
Jeongin accidentally bumps him as he opens the car door, "sorry," he shortly says.
Han is completely gobsmacked to care, his eyes just can't stop following you even after you arrive at the base of the stairs and walk up to the car.
"I think it's true," Han foolishly says with a gaping mouth.
"Huh? What?" Jeongin asks in confusion.
"When the love is real... it finds a way," Han dramatically sighs with eyes big and wide like seeing something so wondrous.
Jeongin gives him the side eyes, but he decides to ignore him and gets into the car.
"I'm going to lock my apartment first," Jinnie informs, going up the stairs to her apartment.
"Hi, Han," you greet him.
Han tries not to crumble hearing you calling his name and instead of answering, he awkwardly raises his hand at you with a stupid grin on his face.
"Are you sitting in the front?" You ask.
Han's brain is not well functioning yet and it takes more time for him to compute a word.
"Well, then I'm going to take my bag," you say, stepping forward and getting in between him and the car door to take your bag from the passenger's seat.
The smell of your perfume is sweet and soft yet it's enough to get him intoxicated, he wants more of it. He suddenly has no desire to ride a shotgun and arranges a new plan in his head.
He rushes to the back of the car and yanks at Jeongin's jacket, "Jeongin, get in the backseat!"
"What?" He asks in utter confusion.
"Get in the backseat! Hurry!" He urges him, opening the seat to the back so he can move.
Doesn't want to deal with him, Jeongin reluctantly moves to the back as requested and Han sets the seat right back up, then keeps the car door open for you.
"Get in," Han says to you.
"Oh, thank you," you mutter, carrying your bag in one hand as you get in.
Noticing Jeongin in the backseat, you smile and greet him, "Hi!"
"Hi," Jeongin sheepishly says to you.
Han sees that Jinnie has returned from locking her apartment and hurriedly opens the car door for her, "You can sit in the front, Jinnie."
Jinnie looks at him, perplexed, "I thought you are..."
He can't hear the rest of what she's saying as he gets into the car and sits next to you.
"I hope it's okay that I tag along for the road trip," you say, putting your bag on your lap.
Han realizes that he should get his act together and forces his brain to function, "It's more than okay," he says with a smile.
This road trip turns into a chance of a lifetime for him. What could be more fun than being stuck in a moving vehicle with a girl he likes?
Chan gets into the driver's side, sighing as he's exhausted from arranging the trunk, and puts the keys into the ignition.
Oh, fuck, Han forget about the part that her brother is in the mentioned moving vehicle too, and drives it. Now, his sense of protection is heightened after seeing you sitting next to him.
"What's with this seat arrangement?" He asks, glaring at Han through the rearview mirror.
He innocently shrugs while Jeongin is staying quiet in the backseat by himself, enjoying the spacious seat for himself.
Jinnie is the last to enter the car and lets out a delighted sigh once she buckles her seat belt. She then looks around at the people in the back and asks, "Everyone is ready to go?"
In response to her question, Jeongin raises a thumbs-up while Han is weakly cheering with his fists in the air and you're laughing at him.
Jinnie then turns her head at Chan and says, "Let's go!"
And just like that, the road trip begins.
-
Everyone else thinks that Han's liking toward you is just a joke and he does that as a way to annoy Chan. Unfortunately, it's not.
He admits that at first, he didn't think of you that way. The very first time he received the information that Chan has a sister, he thinks of you not more than that, a younger sister of his friend.
That night Chan invited everyone to the bar to celebrate his birthday and you've recently turned 21 that year which is why your brother finally took you along with him to hang out with his friends for the first time and he believes that was when things take a different turn.
Han met you once, briefly at Chan's graduation and you've just entered college at that time. When he met you again that night, he almost couldn't recognize you because you've grown so much.
You were just a young girl when he met you for the first time and that night, he saw that girl had flourished into a grown woman and attracted him immediately.
He was so deeply mesmerized by you that he just stared at you the whole night that Jeongin had to constantly snap him out of his head.
The one moment that got him enamored is when you decided to take your jacket off that night and revealed the white camisole you wore that night, he could tell you were wearing nothing underneath because your nipples were poking through the silky fabric. He remembers watching you enjoy the night and dancing your heart out with Jinnie the whole night.
Han couldn't get you out of his head ever since, he grew some sort of infatuation with you, and he followed you on your social media.
When he feels bold enough, he slides into your DMs and asks how you're doing. Chan doesn't know and the fact that he's still oblivious about it means that you don't mention it to him and that's good, it spares him from his doom coming sooner than everyone else's.
Now that he gets to see you in person, sitting side by side when all he could do was just admire you through the pictures you posted. It feels a little surreal that he has to pinch himself a few times to convince him that you're real.
Since Chan is busy talking with Jinnie in the front, he takes it as an opportunity to talk with you because he's wasted three hours secretly staring at you.
"So, how are you doing?" He awkwardly asks while still getting used to sitting next to you.
"I'm doing great," you shortly answer, placing your hand on the space between you and him.
"I heard you're working at the magazine now?" He asks, making it sounds like he heard it from Chan but he actually knew it from your Instagram post.
"Yes, I am," you answer with a sheepish smile.
"I think that's great!" He praises and tries to keep his excitement in check.
"I'm just a copy editor for now. I don't think it's that great," you sheepishly say.
"No, I think that's great," Han feels the need to convince you so he seeks validation from a third party, "Right, Jeongin?"
Jeongin scratches his chin and stifles a nod, "Yeah. That's great!"
"Thank you," you mutter with a shy smile and tuck your hair behind your ear, "How about you? How are you doing?
"Good," he shortly answers but he knows you need more from his answer, "I've been working on a few tracks."
When it comes to you, Han doesn't feel like the coolest person but the objective remains the same, he wants to impress you.
"And I worked on that thing," he scratches his head while considering whether it's right to share it with you.
You tuck your hair behind your ear and look at him, "Worked on what?"
"I made this jingle for an ad," he hesitantly shares.
You shift your body toward him and ask further, "Do I know this ad or...?"
Seeing that you're genuinely curious about it, Han gains a little confidence to share more.
"It's for a shaving cream commercial and it goes like this..." Han starts humming the melody and serenading it to you.
"Didn't you do that thing last year though?" Jeongin interrupts his serenading with a truth bomb.
Han looks over his shoulder and glares at him, making Jeongin see his displeased expression that he's not a great wingman at the moment.
"Yeah, but..." he turns his body more to look at him but can't find something to defend himself.
"I did that," he continues as his confidence deflates in each passing second, "nonetheless."
"Everyone," Jinnie says from the front, "We're going to stop for gas."
Even Jinnie makes a better wingman than Jeongin and she's clueless about what happened in the back earlier.
"Oh, great timing! I need to go to the bathroom," you exclaim, gathering your hair to put it into a ponytail.
This is not a good start, he can tell that you're not impressed at all and far from attracted to him. He consoles himself with snacks, eating them right outside the convenience store.
"I blew that up," he sighs, then shoves chips into his mouth.
"That's because," Jeongin says, then pausing to take another sip of his soda, "you keep staring at her like a creep."
Han elbows his side quite hard that Jeongin yelps, "and you didn't help at all," he grumbles with his cheeks full of food.
"You're hopeless," Jeongin easily replies and steals some chips from Han.
"And you didn't think that's why I need the help?" Han grumbles again and shoves more chips into his mouth.
Jeongin coyly shrugs as he drains his can of soda empty then proceeds to crumple it and toss it into the trash bin.
"Hey, what are you guys having?" You appear from the corner along with Jinnie.
"Where's Chris?" Jinnie asks while fixing her hair.
"He's inside," Jeongin points to the convenience store.
Han quickly swallows everything in his mouth and brushes the crumbs on the front of his shirt, "Do you want some?" He offers you his bag of chips.
"Do you have something sweet with you?" You ask.
"I do, I do," he eagerly answers, rummaging through the bag of snacks he bought and pulling out a pack of strawberry jellies, "I think you'll like this."
"Oh, no, I'm allergic to strawberries," you inform.
Han quickly pulls out another pack of snacks from the plastic bag, "How about this?"
You take it from him and delightfully gasp, "Oh, I love these."
Chan comes out with Jinnie carrying packs of drinks for everyone and without warning, he tosses the car keys at Jeongin, fortunately, he has a good reflex and catches it right into his hand.
"Your turn to drive," Chan says to Jeongin.
Jeongin doesn't say anything else but walks up to the car with everyone following him from the back.
Han opens the car door for you when Chan grabs your hand and stops you on the track, "You ride shotgun."
"Yes, sir!" You also obey without complaint.
"And you," Chan points at Han, "Get on the backseat!"
Han frowns that Chan purposely separates the two of you and reluctantly goes to sit by himself in the back while Chan and Jinnie sit in the middle.
From the back of the car, Han can only watch you share the pack of chocolate maltesers with Jeongin in the front.
-
After four hours of driving, the car stops for dinner and everyone gets so quiet once the food arrives.
Chan makes sure everyone has finished so he can have all of their attention as he explains what the next plan is. Before you can ask for his dessert, he slides his plate towards you.
"Can I have everyone's attention?" He says.
Jeongin is mindlessly stirring his glass of soda with the straw but putting his attention on him meanwhile Han is slowly dissociating so Chan snaps his fingers right in front of his face to reel him back to reality.
Han swats his hand away and groans, "I'm listening, I'm listening."
"Okay, so, we're not going to continue to drive," Chan announces.
"Oh? We're sleeping somewhere for the night?" Jinnie asks, then dabs her mouth with a napkin, "And I need you guys to sleep early tonight becauseâ"
"Because of what?" Han asks as he lazily brushes his hair to the back.
Chan sighs because Han cuts him off instead of letting him continue talking, "Because we have to leave early tomorrow morning."
"And where are we going?" You ask, sliding the plate back to him. Chan glares at you for leaving a small piece of dessert for him and you grin at him in return.
"Let me guess, surprise?" Han says with a mocking grin.
Chan scoops the last piece of cake into his mouth and ignoring Han's insinuation, he has a way to get back to him.
"Who voted for Han to pay the bill?" He says with his hand already raised in the air and Jeongin is the next one to raise his hand.
"W-what? Why? Why me?" Han blabbers in a slight panic.
Everyone turns their heads at Jinnie and since two of his friends already voted for him, she follows the majority and hesitantly raises her hand.
"Sorry," she meekly mutters at Han.
When it comes to you, you hurriedly shake your head and refuse to be a part of their shenanigans. Chan intensely glares at you, pressuring you to also raise your hand.
"Please, leave me out of this," you plead.
Having no other way to make you do what he tells you to do, Chan grabs your hand and raises it in the air. He then triumphantly grins at Han until his dimples sunken into his cheeks.
"Everyone says 'Thank you, Han'!" He orders.
"Thank you, Han!" Everyone says in unison while Han is slumped on his seat, suddenly not looking drowsy anymore.
With the information gained from the restaurant staff, Chan easily found the motel a ten-minute drive away. Arrive there, he immediately goes to check in while everyone is getting their belonging from the trunk.
Without saying anything, Jeongin hands you a bag and you look at it for a moment until you realize that it's yours.
"Oh, thank you," you mutter.
You also take Chan's bag, it's so heavy and you bet he's taking his laptop and camera with him which only reminds you to be careful with it. Once he gets back with the room keys, you hurriedly hand him his bag.
"This one is for the ladies," Chan hands one of the keys to Jinnie.
"Got it," Jinnie says, linking her arm with you to start walking to your room.
Everyone is heading the same way since the boys are staying in the next room. You can't wait to lie down after spending more than ten hours sitting in the car.
"It seems like we're sharing the bed," Jinnie says, seeing there's only one bed in the room.
"Don't worry, I don't snore like my brother," you immediately remark as you throw yourself onto the bed and sigh in delight.
Jinnie laughs as she unpacks her bag, "Wait... Chris snores?"
You roll to the side and prop a hand under your head, "I thought you knew," you say.
"I've seen Chris sleeping but he didn't snore," Jinnie shares, taking clean clothes out of her bag.
"Of course," you talk to yourself, Chan wouldn't let his crush know about his sleeping habit especially something as bad as snoring.
"What's that?" Jinnie asks, hearing you mutter to yourself.
"I just remember I need to charge my phone," you lie, rolling over to the other side to rummage through your bag.
"Do you mind if I use the bathroom first?" Jinnie politely asks, holding her clothes close to her chest.
"Sure," you answer with your hand still groping around to look for your phone charger. Getting hopeless, you call for Jinnie as she's about to enter the bathroom.
"Hey, Jinnie, can I borrow your charger?"
She stops on her track and then puts her clothes on top of the dresser, "Sure," she says, going back to her bag to get it and give it to you.
"I think I dropped my phone in the car," she mutters as she looks through her bag.
"Oh, no," you mumble but an idea comes to mind.
"I can call Chris to help you find it," you offer, turning her misfortune into an opportunity to set them up.
"No, it's okay. It's probably under the seat of the car," she says but she looks worried.
"Are you even sure that you dropped it in the car?" You ask, making her doubt herself.
Jinnie looks concerned now that she clasps her hands together in front of her, "I don't wantâ"
Before she gets to finish her sentence, you hit call on Chan's number and he picks up on the third ring.
"What's up, baby sist?" He slurs his words, he's just as tired as everyone.
Without greeting him first, you talk straight into the phone, "Jinnie dropped her phone in the car. Can you help her find it?"
You hear rustles from the other end of the call and his tone changes all of a sudden, "Just need to get my car keys and I'll be on your door in a minute."
There's no need to plead or beg, you only need to mention Jinnie's name and he's ready to do anything, he'd probably move mountains for her too if she asked for it.
You hold the urge to laugh and calmly look at Jinnie, "He'll be here soon," you tell her.
"Oh, thank you," Jinnie says, canceling her plan to wash up and putting her sweater back on.
A few minutes later, the knocking comes on the door and Jinnie goes to open it. You peek from the side to watch the interaction.
"Heard you dropped your phone in the car," Chan says to her.
"Yeah, I hope I didn't disturb you," Jinnie says.
"Not at all," he immediately says.
Jinnie looks at you and you pretend to be busy looking at your phone, "Hey, I'm going out for a bit."
"Yeah, sure, take your time," you say with a smile then realize that you're not using the right tone.
"Hope you find your phone," you quickly add.
Jinnie is trailing behind Chan as they walk back to the parking lot and he hurriedly unlocks the car at the first sight of it.
"I'm sure it's somewhere in the middle seat," Jinnie says, opening the car door and going straight to feel the gap between the seats.
"I'll look from the other side," Chan says.
He walks around the car and looks from the other side, he turns on the flashlight from his phone and shines it under the seat. All he finds are candy wrappers and he knows who the culprit is.
"Let's get these seats up," he suggests, turning the lever to fold the seats and making it easier to search for the phone.
As they're busy looking for the phone, their heads meet in the middle, and bumps against each other. Chan reflexively reaches for Jinnie's head and rubs on it.
"I'm sorry," he says while giggling, "Are you okay?"
Jinnie can't answer as she's busy laughing and after taking a breath, she nods, "I'm okay."
"You know, it'll be much easier to call you," he says, coming up with a faster way to find the phone a little too late.
"Why didn't I think of that earlier?" Jinnie says, feeling embarrassed as she holds her hair from curtaining her face.
Chan looks for her number and presses the call buttons, he waits for the dialing tone while Jinnie looks around in the dark.
"Oh, I heard it!" She gasps.
The muffled ringtone comes from the back and Chan flips the seat to the front, discovering Jinnie's phone caught between the seats. With his long arm, Chan outstretches his arm to get it and hurriedly hands it to her.
"Thank God!" She sighs in relief and takes the phone from him.
Chan closes the car door and quickly locks it again, he checks by pulling at the car handle to know if it's locked for good.
"I was so scared that I dropped it somewhere else," Jinnie shares, clutching her phone close to her chest.
"I'm glad you found it," Chan says, smiling because he feels good knowing that he makes Jinnie happy.
"Thank you for helping, Chris," Jinnie sincerely says with a smile that is as soft as the moonlight.
Chan would do anything to see that smile on Jinnie's face again, he then looks away before it gets too intense.
"Don't mention it," he coyly says.
As they walk back to the rooms, their hands lightly grazing each other's, and on a nice, summer night like this, Chan feels tempted to hold her hand.
He looks down and her hand is right there, a grasp away from him. All he needs to doâ
Jinnie draws her hands and crosses them together in front of her, "I'm so curious where you'll take us tomorrow," she says.
Chan clears his throat and shoves his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants.
"Trust me, you guys will like it," he confidently says, "especially you."
Jinnie looks at him with a bewildered expression, "Me?"
"Yeah," he nods and grins.
"That only makes me more excited for tomorrow," she says, hugging herself tighter as a gust of wind blows their way.
Jinnie stops right in front of your shared room, she looks at Chan who's standing on the door to his room, "Thanks once again, Chris."
"It's not a big deal," he says with a smile.
Jinnie knocks on the door and a while later, you open the door with your head wrapped in a towel, "Did you find it?"
"Yeah," she answers, showing you the phone in her hand.
"That's a relief!" You exclaim, then step to the side to let her in.
Jinnie looks at Chan for one last time and smiles, "Goodnight, Chris."
"Goodnight," he says back, and once Jinnie gets inside, his foolish smile drops from his face knowing that you're watching him.
"Get back inside. Lock the door and sleep!" He strictly orders.
"Yes, sir," you reply along with a salute.
You grab the handle of the door and take one more chance to poke fun at him.
"Goodnight, Chris," You try your best to copy Jinnie's soft tone of saying it and quickly close the door before Chan gets the chance to scold you.
-
When Chan said they needed to leave early the next day, Han didn't think it would require him to wake up at 6 in the morning.
He doesn't know how Chan did that because he was the last one to sleep but he also woke up the earliest and even brought breakfast with him when he came to the room.
"Your turn to drive today," Chan says, throwing the car keys and clanging against the floor as Han fails to catch them.
"Ugh..." he lets out an exhausted groan and picks them up from the floor.
Concerned with his state, Chan grabs his shoulder and squeezes, "You sure you can drive?"
Han knows that if he says no, then Chan will take the task from him and he doesn't want that, Chan already did so much. He's sure he's more tired than everyone.
"Yeah, I can drive," he assures him with a not-so-convincing smile.
The doubts linger in Chan's eyes, he gives him a pat on the back and then says, "You know what? I'll get you another cup of coffee!"
The sun is peeking from the horizon and slowly climbs its way out, the sunray hits his eyes as Han arrives at the parking lot.
He unlocks the car from a meter away and puts his bag in the trunk first before walking to the driver's side.
"Ugh..." he groans again with one hand on the handle of the car door.
The last person who drove was Jeongin and thanks to his long limbs, Han has to readjust the seat because his arms aren't long enough for the steering wheel.
He's yawning as he takes his phone out and connects it to the car stereo, at least, being a driver means he has full control over the music.
"Morning," Jinnie cheerily says, with a smile that shines brighter than the morning sun.
Something about her smile that makes him can't help but smile back.
"Morning," he says back, "Do you need help with the bag?"
"It's okay. I'll do it myself," She says, heading to the back of the car.
Not long after, Chan comes carrying bags on each shoulder but looking unbothered by them, he ends up helping Jinnie with her bag. Jeongin comes next, handing his bag to Chan before getting into the car and sitting in the back.
Han is busy scrolling his phone to compile a playlist for the trip to realize that everyone is already getting in except for one person.
He looks to the back and sees Chan sitting in the middle with Jinnie so that means...
"I have your coffee with me," you say, climbing into the passenger's side.
He turns his head to the back to check if Chan approves of this seating arrangement but he's already snuggled up in his hoodie to sleep.
"Americano, right?" You ask, handing the cup of coffee to him.
"Oh?" Han looks at you and then at the coffee.
The second he realizes that you're waiting for him, he hurriedly gets it from you, "Thank you!"
Sensing that the coffee is hot, he carefully puts it into the cup holder and turns on the car engine. He waits until you're buckled in to start driving.
"So, where are we going?" He asks in utter confusion.
You let out a chuckle thinking that he's joking and Han chuckles as well, maybe it is a joke that he didn't ask Chan where to go before he started driving.
"Chris said you only need to follow the GPS," you inform.
"Oh, yeah, that's right," he feels embarrassed to ask and even more embarrassed to say that he is not good at multitasking.
It feels as if you read his mind, you look at him and say, "Don't worry. I'm a good navigator."
The cool morning air is so refreshing that Han doesn't feel sleepy anymore and with every sip of coffee, he feels more awake than ever.
He looks through the rearview mirror and sees that everyone in the back is sleeping so that means only you and him are awake in the car.
"Oh, wow, look at that," You sigh at the view of the sun rising on a hill, "It's beautiful!"
Han briefly glances away from the road to see it but the view he sees is of you and your hair flying around your face basking in the soft glow of the morning sun.
"Yeah, it's beautiful," he mutters and looks back at the road.
He's only an hour away from the destination but he likes this scene, the view and the road ahead of him, the person sitting next to him, also the faint music that plays through the car stereo. He wants to stay in it for a little longer.
"I love this song!" You exclaim out of the blue as the playlist plays a new song.
Han recognizes the song right away because it's coming from his playlist and it's one of his favorites.
"You know this song?"
"The Beatles, right?"
"Yes."
"It's in one of the playlists you sent me," you tell him.
The playlist is Han's love language. When he likes someone, instead of flowers or chocolate, he compiles a playlist of songs that reminds him of that person and gifts it to them.
When he sent them to you, Han isn't that confident that you will heartily listen to them because it's just a playlist of songs and you'd barely see the romantic gesture behind it.
"I'd like to be under the sea..." you start singing along to the song.
"In an octopus's garden in the shade..." Han joins in on the second line while keeping his eyes on the road.
"He'd let us in, knows where we've been. In his octopus's garden in the shade..." Together you sing the rest of the verse while smiling as the sun is getting higher in the sky.
"In an octopus's garden with you... In an octopus's garden with you..."
The GPS says the destination is only ten minutes away and it's directing him to turn onto the small road with nothing but trees that line up on each side.
"Are we going the right way?" Han asks you in a slight panic, not seeing any road signs.
You check the GPS and turn to look at him, "You're going the right way, yeah," you confirm.
Han bends down to see if there's any sign of life or if Chan accidentally puts the wrong address into the GPS.
"I'll wake my brother," you offer, turning around in your seat and outstretching your arm to reach Chan who's still sleeping.
You manage to grab the sleeve of his hoodie and yank at it, "Chris, wake up!"
Instead of Chan, Jinnie is the one who answers your call, "Mmh, are we there yet?" She asks.
"We're not sure," you answer and yank harder at Chan's hoodie.
Jinnie notices you need the help, she places her hand on Chan's arm and gently shakes him awake, "Chris?"
On the second try, Chan finally wakes up to Jinnie's call and you roll your eyes because it's getting ridiculous now that he recognizes her voice well instead of his sister.
Han decides to pull over to the side of the road and turns his head around, "are we going to the right place?"
Chan pulls down his hoodie and quickly brushes his curls to the back, he closes his eyes for a moment to adjust them to the light.
One glance at the GPS and he slumps back on his seat, "Yes, it's right," he slurs his words.
"Why am I not seeing anything else but trees?" Han hesitates but keeps driving anyway.
"Just keep going," Chan mumbles, getting a bottle of water and drinking it.
A moment later, Han's doubt is answered as a sign appears in front of him and it says that the campsite is 100 meters away.
"Oh, my God!" Jinnie loudly gasps, making everyone in the car startle in surprise, including Jeongin who's just woken up from his nap.
She looks at Chan with eyes widening and sparkling, "We're going camping?"
With a stupid grin on his face, Chan answers, "Yes."
-
While the boys are busy setting up the big tent, you and Jinnie are making sandwiches for lunch. Jinnie does most of the work while all you do is unwrapping the cheese singles and preparing the loaf of bread.
This is one of those moments that makes you think how can someone be this perfect? Jinnie is beautiful, smart, kind, and patient, she's great at drawing and now, you find out she's good at cooking too.
"What can't you do? Really?" You praise in awe as she meticulously arranges the ingredients from the vegetables to the condiments.
She lets out a shy chuckle in reaction and doesn't let it get to her head, she's concentrating hard on putting everything together without making a mess.
"You're an only child, right?" You curiously ask.
Jinnie wraps each sandwich with a food wrapper and does it so meticulously as if she's wrapping a gift, "Yes, I am."
"Would you like a younger sister?" You jokingly say.
She smiles at you and hands you the first sandwich she wrapped, "I already think of you as a younger sister," she says.
You grin at that and put the wrapped sandwich into the basket, "We should make it official then," you teasingly say.
"And what do you mean by that?"
"You know... you can be my sister-in-law," you coyly say while paying attention to her reaction.
Jinnie shakes her head in disbelief and shyly laughs, "You silly!"
It's too obvious for her to miss it, right? She should have known that you're hinting at something and it's your way to cajole her to open up but in the end, you're always the one left puzzled by the mystery of why Jinnie and Chan's ship is not sailing yet.
The peaceful nature sounds are interrupted by the sound of Chan hammering the spike to pin down the tent while Jeongin is setting the canopy. He pauses once he notices that you're struggling to carry the cooler box by yourself. He rushes to get it from you and puts it down next to the tent.
As a form of gratitude, you grab a can of soda from the cooler and hand it to him, "Here!"
Jeongin softly smiles and it's enough to make his dimples appear on both of his cheeks, "Thanks!"
"Baby sist, I want one too!" Chan grumbles as he sits on the ground, also exhausted from setting the tent.
It's fine when he called you that ten years ago but as you grow older, he should know that you've outgrown that pet name. You let it slide because his friends got used to hearing him calling you that around them.
"Catch!" You warn before tossing it his way and he catches it right in his hand.
Jinnie comes not long after, carrying the sandwiches along with some snacks on the side, "Lunch is ready!" She announces, putting everything on the table.
Han hurriedly carries more folded chairs and arranges them around the table. Everyone stops working to huddle around the table for lunch.
"Is it done?" Jinnie asks while distributing the sandwiches around.
"Yeah, we just need to put the mat and sleeping bags inside but we can do it later," Chan answers, ripping through the wrapper and taking a hearty bite.
Despite it being the beginning of summer, there are only two other campers on the site. But that's a good thing, it's not crowded and it won't spoil the serene, relaxing experience of camping.
The lunch feels so rewarding, especially to those who worked on the tent and everyone gets so quiet after. You and Jinnie work together to gather the trash and put it into a plastic bag.
"So... what now?" Jeongin asks, glancing his eyes from side to side.
Chan crumples the empty can in his hand and puts it into the trash bag, "We're resting for now and we'll go hiking in an hour."
"Hiking?" Han asks in panic, not in favor of the idea.
"I told you to bring hiking boots for one specific reason," Chan explains, putting his hat backward and then reclining on his seat.
Han slumps on his seat and makes those high-pitched groans while flailing his arms in the air.
To avoid the harsh sunlight, the hike starts a little after three and the boys are tasked to carry a backpack full of snacks, water, and clean clothes.
The forest hums with life as the five of you walk the trail with the sun breaks through the cracks, lighting up the dirt path ahead, decorated with outgrown roots, wildflowers, and fallen leaves that crunch beneath your feet.
You're gazing up at the canopy, searching for the birds that sing sweetly against the soft sound of the wind whistling between the leaves.
Chan leads the way and once in a while, he looks back to check if anyone needs a break. Seeing that everyone needs a break, he stops on his track and turns around.
"Let's have a quick break!" He announces to everyone, then uncaps a bottle of water to hand it to you.
"Thank you," you mutter.
You lean back against the tree and reorganize your breath to finally have a long sip of water that quench your thirst.
"Is it still far?" Jinnie asks, taking a new bottle of water from Han's backpack.
Chan swallows his water and wipes his lips after, "About half an hour more of hiking."
Han takes off the plaid shirt he's wearing and hangs it on one shoulder, "And how long have we been hiking?"
Chan looks at his smartwatch to be able to answer him, "About 25 minutes."
"Fuck!" Han curses, scaring away the small animals hiding between the bushes, "Why does it feel like we've been walking for hours?"
"That's just you," Jeongin sneers, drinking his water like he's shooting an advertisement video.
"It's going to be worth it, I swear," Chan convinces, brushing his hair to the back before putting his hat back on.
Hanging on to his words, everyone continues the hike, following Chan's lead while enjoying the greenery. Jeongin catches squirrels running in between tree trunks.
"Han, say hi to your friends!" He says to Han.
Funny that Han decides to play along with it, "Furry babies, hi!"
Chan notices that you're getting exhausted as beads of sweat roll down your neck, "Here! Hold the back of my t-shirt!"
You don't see why it would help you walk, "Why should I?" You ask in utter confusion.
He grabs your hands and makes you hold each side of his t-shirt, dragging you along with him as he tirelessly keeps following the trail.
"I swear to God if it isn't worth it like you said..." you grumble as you feel every muscle in your legs strained and screaming in pain, and your mouth is dry from you constantly panting, running out of breath.
The scenery slightly changes the further you walk, there are no more dead leaves on the path and the rich earthy smell is soon replaced by water-saturated air.
"Oi, look!" Chan taps your hand and then points at the view ahead of him.
Getting a glimpse of what lies ahead, you walk past Chan to discover a view that is too beautiful for your eyes to comprehend.
A white, frothy cascade of water falls into a plunge pool with mist billowing out in soft clouds, creating a mystical atmosphere but when the sun hits and refracts the lights, a rainbow appears.
It's a waterfall, a majestic one.
"Be careful! It's slippery!" Chan shouts, watching you walk down the rocky outcroppings. He knows that there's no stopping you and you can't hear him anyway.
Han dashes after you with the backpack bouncing on his back, trailing after you like a puppy.
"I was right to trust you," Jinnie stands by his side and places a hand on Chan's shoulder, "It's worth the one hour of hike."
Jinnie shoots him a warm smile that makes Chan's inside melt and turns into jelly and in response to that, Chan unknowingly grins at her, the kind that shows how much of a fool he is for her.
Unbeknownst to him, Jeongin has been quietly watching this interaction, including the shit-eating grin Chan has on his face.
"You're pathetic," Jeongin says to him once Jinnie leaves.
"Hey!" He yells in disagreement but Jeongin ignores him and walks away.
Taking a little rest from the hiking, Chan sits on the sun-baked rocks while admiring the waterfall and the serene surroundings.
"This is a beautiful place to tell someone your feelings," Jeongin says, taking out a can of soda from his backpack.
Chan scoffs and plays dumb, "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Oh, come on!" Jeongin groans and subtly rolls his eyes at him.
"We all know you have feelings for someone," he pauses to gesture at the figure standing on the rocky perch, "There she is!"
This proves two things, their years of friendship and that Jeongin always observes, either way, he feels so caught by his own ineptness.
Worse, Chan decides to keep playing dumb and looks away even though it's too late for him to do that, there's no way he can escape Jeongin's observant eyes.
"Why-why should I..." he scratches his head in a slight panic.
"Just tell her how you feel," Jeongin says, "I think she feels the same thing for you."
At first, Chan wants to keep it to himself but since Jeongin knows already and it's tiring to have to keep hiding, he decides to tell him.
"It's hard," he openly admits with a heavy sigh, "We've been close friends for too long that I can't tell the difference anymore."
It feels so good that Chan is finally able to get that out of this chest and he knows he can trust Jeongin to keep it between them.
"And she's just... she's just perfect," Chan says with a hopeless sigh, he picks up a pebble and throws it into the water, "and I don't want to lose my good friend."
Jeongin leans back by propping his hands behind him and lets out a sigh, "It doesn't matter if the guy is perfect or the girl is perfect, as long as they're perfect for each other," he eloquently remarks.
"Wait, I think I heard that somewhere before," Chan's forehead wrinkles as he rakes his brain to recall where he heard this line before.
All of a sudden, Jeongin punches him in the arm, "It's from your favorite movie. Good Will Hunting!"
"Oh?!" Chan loudly gasps, it feels like a crime that he doesn't recognize the quote taken from his favorite movie.
"At this point, Han will beat you up to it."
"What?"
"He'll date your sister faster than you get to date Jinnie," Jeongin says with sheer indignation.
Chan's eyes dart at you and Han talking under the shade of a tree that stoops so low it's almost touching the surface of the water.
"Ugh, no, that can't happen!" He says in disgust.
"I bet he's serenading your sister with the jingle he made, again," Jeongin mumbles.
At the same time, Jeongin and Chan look at each other and start singing the jingle together, surprising themselves by how well they memorized it.
"Are you guys talking about me?" Jinnie jokingly asks as she walks by.
They immediately shut up and Chan turns his head away even though his eyes are searching for her, demanding her to always be in his sight.
"Are we waiting for Christmas to swim or what?" Han shouts, fussing like a child with his hands planted on each side of his waist.
-
Han once thought that if someone ever gets to see your body, he believes they'd turn to stone and that's because he thinks no one can handle that much magnetism and sex appeal.
Today, he gets to put that notion to a test even though he's risking himself to the possibility of getting petrified. He tries to keep his cool as you stand not far from him, tugging the hem of your t-shirt and then pulling it over your head, revealing the top half of the swimsuit you're wearing underneath.
So far, he still finds himself breathing and able to move his limbs but let's see whenâ he holds his breath as you unbutton your denim shorts and pull it down, slightly bending down to get it off your legs.
His eyes immediately travel down your body, admiring every curve of your body as you bask in the warm sunlight and the tiny droplets of water land on your skin.
You flip your hair to the back and slip your fingers under the strap to adjust it on your shoulder, his breath hitches as you pull it and let it slap against your skin.
Now, he's petrified. He knows he shouldn't be ogling at his best friend's sister, especially with her brother around but he can't help it, he's instinctively attracted to you like a moth drawn to light.
Jinnie offers her hand at you as she's already in her swimsuit as well, "Come on!" She says.
You take her hand and giggle as you slowly make your way toward the water with pebbles against the bottom of your bare feet.
"Ack!" You shriek, feeling a shock of cold water touching your feet then back to giggling again.
Han realizes that if he doesn't want to miss anything, he should get changed now. He gets up from the bed of rock he's sitting on and finds Chan is already hallway to get naked, exposing his muscular upper body, his pale skin shines under the sun.
"Show off," he mutters, placing a gentle slap on his abs as he walks past him.
"What's that for?" Chan says with a perplexed look.
The breeze plays with Han's hair as he treads the water and more droplets of water hit his skin the closer he gets to where you are
For a second, he loses sight of you until you emerge from the surface of the water, glistening wet with your swimsuit stuck to your skin, enhancing the features of your heavenly body.
You're saying something to Jinnie as you're floating in the water but the words are lost in the roar of the waterfall. With a grin plastered on your face, he doesn't need to hear it to know you're having fun.
"Hey, come here," you shout in his direction.
Han looks around thinking you're talking to someone else but there's no one else but him there. He looks back at you and you're already making your way to him.
"I want to show you something cool," you say, taking his hand and dragging him with you.
Honestly, he's willing to go anywhere you take him even if you take him to the pit of hell and sweat he'll follow you there.
"Now, we have to dive in," you say, getting to the center of the pool where it's deep enough for a dive.
Han draws a big, deep breath before following you where you lead him, he sees through the blurry water where your figure is diving to and then comes out of the water.
You wipe the water off your face and put your hair away, "It's cool, isn't it?"
Han doesn't realize it at first but once he rubs the water off his eyes, he's standing on the other side of the waterfall, and behind him is a tall, slippery wall of rock.
It's just you and him, concealed behind an iridescent wall of water.
"Yeah," he nods as he looks at you to which you respond with a smile.
Out of nowhere, two figures emerge out of the water and startle you both. It's Jeongin and Jinnie, discovering the spot and finding you both there.
"Wow! This is amazing!" Jinnie gasps as she looks around while wiping the water off her mouth.
Jeongin doesn't say anything but stands close to the back, his skin a contrast with the dark of the rocky wall behind him.
The smile on Han's face slowly fades knowing that someone has shattered the tender moment he's having with you. He looks at you and your eyes are nowhere near his eyes, the next thing he knows, you dive your way out back to the world.
The fun continues as you and Chan team up to fight against Jinnie and Han. He's carrying you on his shoulders and clashing you at Jinnie who also rides on Han's shoulders, coming at each other until one of you falls into the water. Thanks to Chan's strong lower half body, you won most of the time.
Tired from swimming, everyone is chilling on the big bed of rock, drinking and eating the snacks they packed while drying up under the warm afternoon sun.
With your fingers pruning up, you're struggling to open a bag of chips and someone takes it to help you to open it.
"Here," Jeongin says, after swiftly opening it for you.
"Thanks," you mutter.
Jinnie let out a sigh as she hugs her knees, "I think this is the most fun I ever had in a long time."
Han gets up from lying down and puts his arm around her shoulder, "That's true."
Chan triumphantly grins as he uncaps a new bottle of water, "I told you guys to trust me."
"I trusted you," Jeongin mutters in defense.
Chan points at Han as he drinks his water, hinting that he's talking about a specific person. Grinning as he sees Han feeling called out by that.
"I didn't say anything," he defends himself, waving his hand in front of him in strong disagreement with Chan's accusation.
"Yeah but you were like whining the whole hike," Chan says, giving him a head shake of disbelief.
"I didn't," he resists to admit it, then looks at Jinnie to seek someone on his back, "I didn't, right?"
Jinnie looks at him and then looks at everyone, "Well, I wouldn't call it whining," she says.
Han glares at her as he senses a but trailing behind Jinnie's sentence. He puts his arm away from her and grumbles, "You know what? I'll not say anything on the hike way back."
On the hike way back, Han doesn't whine like he promised but he makes grunting noises. Chan knows he wants to complain but he wants to stick true to his own words.
He guides the hike back with you by his side and he's been catching you looking back a few times. He scoffs, knowing his sister so well to know that you're not just looking, you have eyes on someone.
"Who is it, baby sist?" He curiously asks.
You snap your head back and look ahead, "Huh? What?" You play coy.
With his hand on your shoulder, he stops you on your track and looks into your eyes, "I'm your brother. I know when my sister likes someone," he states.
You sigh because that's true, you can't hide the things from someone you've grown up your whole life with.
"Yeah, okay, you got me," you say in defeat.
"I didn't think much about it then but now, he's always in my head," you share, surprised that you don't find it awkward to tell personal things like this with him. Deep down you know it's not awkwardness you feel, you fear that Chan wouldn't be accepting of your choice.
"So, what do you think?"
Chan softly laughs and offers his hand at you as support to climb the outgrown tree roots, he waits until you safely land on the other side to answer.
"Well, I don't really have a say on that, do I?" he says.
"As far as I remember, you're really against it," you say, reminding him of the same ultimatum he says to his friends plenty of times.
"Yeah, but you know, as long as you're happy," he answers, along with a coy shrug.
Out of the blue, he playfully nudges your shoulder with his, "Ooo, baby sist is falling in love," he teasingly says.
You shove him hard until he's staggering to the side, "Stop calling me that!" You slap his big arm with each word.
Chan is as protective as a brother can be but he knows that he can't dictate every aspect of your life, including the person you like. However, as your brother, his opinions matter and it feels good to know that you have his approval.
-
The sun is setting when everyone returns to the campsite, painting the sky with bursts of red and yellow, gradually sending the day into the calm of night.
Before it gets dark, Chan orders everyone to work for dinner, he and Jeongin immediately build a campfire and the rest are setting the gas stove to cook.
"Can I help you with something?" Han offers his help to you and Jinnie who's busy prepping ingredients for dinner.
Jinnie hands him a pot, "Can you fill it with water?"
"How much water?"
"Just fill it full," she answers.
"Got it!" He takes the pot with him and comes back a few minutes later, carrying the pot of water with a lot of focus and cautiousness.
"Where do I put it?" He asks in a panic.
Jinnie gets out of the way to make space for him, "Here! On the stove!" She says.
He is concentrating hard on putting it right on the stove without spilling a drop, "How do you turn it on?"
You look away from the vegetables you're chopping and notice something on Han's leg, it seems like he scraped his knee without him knowing.
"Goodness, Han!" You gasp.
"Wh-what?" He asks in panic, looking at you in worry when he should be worried about himself.
"Your knee is bleeding," you point at the blood gushing out of his scraped knee. You scramble to find something for his wound.
Jinnie gets ahead of you, she comes with a bottle of water to wash the blood and tells him to sit down as she runs to the tent to get a first aid kit.
"Does it hurt?" You ask, finally find a napkin for it.
Han is surprisingly calm about it as he gently places the napkin over his wound, "I think I hurt my knee when I was getting water."
Chan pauses on grilling the meat to know what the ruckus is about, "What's going on?"
"Hannie scraped his knee," you shortly answer.
Jinne comes through with her bag of first-aid kit and pulls out a tube of ointment, she takes a dollop with a cotton bud and with so much gentleness, she dabs Han's wound with it.
Han hisses and winces in pain, reacting to the treatment and Jinnie quickly blows on it to soothe the pain.
"I just need to put a band-aid on it," she says and proceeds to take one from the pack. She puts a lot of care into covering his wound with it then sighs in relief.
"Thank you, Jinnie," Han sincerely says while holding the side of his knee.
Jinnie looks up as she's kneeling in front of him and warmly smiles, "You're very welcome, Han."
Despite the minor incident, dinner was a success as everyone finished the food in under an hour, and there was no better way to end a tiring yet fulfilling day than with cans of cold beer.
The night brings such a silence that the crackle of the campfire is all that could be heard with the sparks flickering and drifting upward. The smell of smoke mixed with the sweet smell of roasted marshmallows.
Being the good brother he is, Chan hands you the smores he made and takes the stick of marshmallow you're still roasting.
"Thanks," you mutter, wasting no time to bite into that gooey, crunchy sweetness.
Han wants to do the same for you, he makes smores out of the marshmallow he roasted a little too long and nudges Jeongin by the elbow.
"Pass it to her," he whispers, asking for his help to deliver it to you.
Jeongin doesn't say anything but takes it from him and without hesitation, he bites right into it.
"Hey, I made it for her!" He scolds him, putting his hands around Jeongin's neck to choke and force him to spit the smores he ate. That doesn't faze him, Jeongin has another bite to finish it and has no problem swallowing it down.
Thinking that Han is mad because Jeongin ate his smores, Jinnie gives the one she made to him as a consolation, "Here. You can have mine."
Han looks at it and feels bad to take it, "Iâ It's okay, I'm full anyway," he lies with a grin.
The night is a special kind of blackness, the kind that wants only to hold the stars and help them shine all the brighter. You tilt your head up and see those stars like pinpricks against the dark of night.
"Woah, look at those stars..." You sigh in wonder.
Everyone else follows suit, looking up at the night sky and feeling the same feeling of awe. When we realize how vast the universe is, our matters suddenly feel so small, don't you think?
"I have something to share with you guys," Jeongin suddenly announces.
Everyone stops staring at the night sky and looking at Jeongin, some are merely curious and the rest are anticipating what he tries to share.
"Remember when I told you guys I auditioned to join the Royal Orchestra?"
"Yeah, a couple of times," Chan says, bobbing his head at him.
"Last month I got the letter," he shares further.
"Oh!" Jinnie gasps in excitement even though Jeongin is not finished with the announcement yet.
Jeongin looks down at the blazing fire that gnaws on the logs of wood, making everyone wait for him to continue. After a while, he looks up and finally announces, "Well, I got in."
"Oh, my Gosh..." Chan sighs in relief with one hand clutching his chest.
"Yeah, man!" Han gives him a celebratory punch in the arm then puts his arm around him, "I just knew you'd get in."
"Duh!" Jinnie eggs in, "You're a great pianist, they're stupid if they didn't let you in."
"Congratulations, Jeongin! We're so proud of you," Chan says, giving him a pat on the back and a proud smile that exudes his paternal side towards Jeongin.
Jeongin looks at you and his eyes drop to his hands, "Which also means that I'll leave soon," he continues with shocking news.
The smiles on everyone's faces slowly fade at that announcement, it turns quiet again as everyone processes that there's a downside to this happy news. Jinnie looks devastated and she rests her head on Chan's shoulder to seek comfort.
"When do you have to leave?" Han asks.
"Next month," Jeongin replies.
"So... this will be the last time we're going to be together?" Jinnie sadly asks even though she's on the verge of tears already.
"Guys, I'm not dying," Jeongin says with an attitude.
Everyone lightly chuckles at that, Chan rearranges the logs to keep the bonfire alive and looks at Jeongin.
"How long will you be there?"
"It's a two-year contract," he answers.
Jinnie sniffles and puts on a small smile, "Just promise us that you'll always come to our weekly video meeting," she demands.
Jeongin chuckles and nods, crossing his fingers together as he says, "Promise!"
"Two years isn't that long," Han coyly says, poking the burned log with a tree branch.
"By the time I get back, I expect one of you to already be married to someone," Jeongin jokingly says, secretly throwing a glance at Chan and raising his eyebrow at him.
"I'm getting drowsy," you say, stretching your arms up and tilting your head side to side, "I'm going to head in and sleep."
Jinnie lifts her head off of Chan's shoulder and crosses her arms together in front of her, "Yeah, I'm going to sleep as well," she says.
It's getting late and the night only grows colder, Chan decides that it's time to sleep. He volunteers to put out the bonfire while Jeongin heads straight into the tent.
After taking a quick trip to the bathroom, Han enters the tent and sees that the sleeping bags have been arranged. Jinnie takes the farthest right and you're sleeping next to her, bundled in the warmth of your sleeping bag.
The middle one belongs to Chan and since Jeongin takes the farthest left which means he's going to be sleeping between them. He slips himself into his sleeping bag and turns his head only to find that you're still awake.
"I thought you're sleeping already," he lowly mutters.
You don't say anything but smile at him with your eyes soft and tender, blanketing his heart with warm feelings.
When it occurs to him that he's sleeping in this shared space with you, he gets that fluttering feeling inside, a kaleidoscope of butterflies flying around in his stomach.
"Goodnight, Han," you lowly murmur.
"Goodnight," he murmurs back, not taking his eyes off of you until you turn your head to the other side.
Han continues to admire your profile from the side, your eyes, your nose, and the plump of your lips that he's dying to taste. You're so beautiful and he gets to enjoy that beauty as much as he pleases.
"I'm surprised I didn't find you snoring already," Chan says as he enters the tent and zips it close.
Then there's the brother who always ruins this special moment. Han turns his head away and scoots slightly to the side to make more space for Chan, knowing how big he is.
"Let's see who gets to snore first," Han dares him.
The next thing he knows, Han finds himself in the forest again and he can hear you laughing. He looks up and finds you standing next to him with your hair wet and your feet bare.
"Take you somewhere..." you vaguely say.
Han doesn't answer but takes your hand, together you're walking through the forest. He feels the rough stone handholds against the palms and fingertips and tall lush grass sliding across calves.
Then he looks at you and you're smiling at him, your eyes bright and droplets of water are dripping down the end of your hair.
"It's cool," you say, laughing at him.
He thinks you find something funny about him so he starts to grope his body around and checks what is it that makes you laugh.
"Come here," you say, giggling with your hand still holding his.
"What?" He asks.
"It's cool," you say again, then you take the straps of your swimsuit and pull them down your shoulders. You're giggling while keep pulling the straps down, revealing your bare chest to him little by little untilâ
"Han, wake up!"
The image blurs as someone shakes his body awake. He ignores it and tries to go back to sleep, hoping that he gets to continue the dream.
"Wake up!"
"Ugh... mmh," he incoherently complains and curls up in his sleeping bag.
"Just let him sleep," you say to someone.
Han's eyes snap open the second he hears your voice, he then scrambles out of his sleeping bag, disoriented with his hair tousled.
"Are you coming?"
Without looking, Han can tell that it's Chan's voice.
"I'm coming, yes, coming," he mumbles with half-shut eyes.
He shivers as cold air blows into the tent, he gropes around for his jacket with eyes barely open, "What time is it?"
"It's four," Chan answers.
"In the afternoon?" He gasps in shock, can't believe that he slept through the day.
"In the morning," Chan corrects him.
It's even more shocking that he wakes up at four in the morning when the sun is not even out yet. He opens his mouth to complain but he sees you coming into the tent.
"Chris, can I borrow one of your hoodies?" You ask.
Han grabs what he assumes is his hoodie and hurriedly gives it to you, "You can wear mine," he offers with a sleepy smile.
Chan takes it from his hand and then gives it to you, "Hurry up! It's sunrise in any minute now," he rushes him.
Han is barely functioning but he tries to keep up with the group, walking through the path in the dark of the night that still lingers and the stars that insist on shining bright against the bruised sky.
He rushes to walk next to you while hugging himself to shield himself from the cold, "Where are we going?"
"Just to the top of that hill," you answer, looking beautiful even with your face bare and your eyes puffy from the lack of sleep.
It gets tricky as the path turns into climbing the rocky outcroppings and it's a bit embarrassing that you're the one helping him not the other way around.
"There she is," Chan says, pointing to the golden disk that rises on the horizon with its honeyed glow.
It is the time when the day casts away the cloak of night and makes an entrance with a bright, gold light of warmth, making it known that she rules the day once and forever more.
Jinnie walks up to Chan's side and stands so close to him, arms brushing and elbows grazing.
"It's like you have to whisper," Jinnie murmurs, thinking that she would disrupt the serene view by talking loudly.
When Chan looks at her, he realizes one thing. Jinnie is like the sunrise, she doesnât care if anyone watches it or not, she will keep on being beautiful, even if no one bothers to look at it.
"You know what, Chris?" She suddenly asks.
"Yes?"
"This is one of those moments that I'll share with my future husband and children," she says, her eyes set on the sun that keeps on rising, gently and swiftly at once.
Hearing her talking about the future makes Chan wants to make it all true for her and have the chance to tell her future children, 'Yes, Dad was there too'. Just the thought of it already makes him so giddy that he finds himself smiling.
Jinnie slowly rests her head on his shoulder to enjoy the sunrise together and Chan gets what she said earlier, he also feels like saying things out loud would only ruin the moment so he decides to keep it in his heart a little longer.
"Ugh! He's stressing me out," You mutter to yourself, seeing Jinnie and Chan sharing an intimate moment and instead of using this as an opportunity to say something, Chan does nothing but stare at her like usual.
"That's my hoodie," Someone says.
You turn to the side and find Jeongin there, "Sorry?"
"You're wearing my hoodie," he says, pointing to the hoodie you're wearing which you thought belonged to Han.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know," you meekly say, torn between keeping it on or not, but you know you need it, it's so cold to take it off.
"That's okay," Jeongin says, leaning on the rock next to you.
It's hard to interact with Jeongin because he rarely talks, he only talks when he has important things to say or has savage takes on things. You hesitate to talk to him without feeling like you'll waste his time. Still... you muster up the courage only to get interrupted by Han's head lolling onto your shoulder.
You check on him and see that he's falling back to sleep. You quickly put your arm around him to keep the back of his head from hitting the rock.
"We should have let him sleep," Jeongin says.
"Yeah," you respond with a soft laugh.
Now that he's speaking to you, you use this as an opportunity to congratulate him, "I didn't get the chance last night but congratulations for joining the Royal orchestra," you tell him.
Jeongin brushes his hair to the back and then clears his throat, "Thank you."
"I went to one of your shows two months back," you share and instantly regret doing it, what are you expecting though? For him to thank you.
"Why didn't you tell me?" Jeongin asks, he seems to find it important to know the reason.
"Well, I just... I don't know, I don't want to disturb you and I was with a friend anyway so..." you vaguely explain.
There's no other reason why you came to his show except to watch him playing his piano, you thought of seeing him after the show but you were afraid that he'd be too busy for that.
"We could have hung out. I'd treat you to dinner," he says while scratching his ear.
"That sounds nice," you comment with a smile.
"I'm not a cheapskate like Han," he jokingly adds with a soft laugh.
"Well, I was thinkâ Oh!" You abruptly stop talking as Han nuzzles his head further into your neck and puts his arm across your chest.
Jeongin gets on his feet and makes you switch places with him. He takes Han's arm from around your shoulder, offering himself for him to lean on instead of you.
"Is Han sleeping?" Chan asks, noticing his friend is draping on Jeongin's shoulder.
"I told you to let him sleep," you grumble at him.
The walk back isn't as bad as the climb, Han is being dragged by Chan to make sure of his safe return to the campsite. Jeongin is tasked to brew coffee for everyone while Jinnie and Chan are making breakfast together. You volunteer to tidy up the tent and fold the sleeping bags.
Once you're done, you join everyone around the campfire and Jeongin immediately hands you a cup of coffee.
"Thank you," you mutter, holding it with both hands to absorb the heat.
Chan mischievously slaps Han's shoulder, startling him awake from his sleep and making him jolt on the chair.
"Time for breakfast!" He informs him.
He looks at him with wondering eyes, stretches his arms out, and then lets out a big yawn. Even with a barely functioning brain, Han knows that it's time to eat, he takes a plate and a piece of toast.
"Here. Have an egg," Jinnie says, sliding an egg onto his plate from the frypan.
She then turns at you and says, "You too."
You hurriedly grab a plate and mutter your gratitude at her, wasting no time to start digging in. Soon, everyone is stuffing their mouth with food and it gets quiet that you can hear the forest come alive around you.
"We're going to drive the whole day today," Chan informs out of nowhere.
"Can we know where we're going now?" Jinnie asks, taking a bite of her bread.
Chan pulls out something out of his jeans pocket, a piece of paper but he continues to unfold it open. With an excited grin, he turns it around and reveals a poster.
"How long have you been keeping that poster in the back of your jeans?" Jeongin curiously asks, then takes a small sip of his coffee.
Not getting the reaction he expected, Chan frowns and his shoulders slumped. Han snatches the poster from his hands and looks at it with utter bewilderment.
"What? Did you get tickets to this? How?" He asks with his cheeks full of food.
You don't recognize it at first until you see the logo of the band and gasp in surprise, "Am I seeing The Hare concert poster?"
The grin blooms on Chan's face once more, "More like the poster for their secret gig this Friday night," he humbly brags.
"What?" You ask again with eyes widening.
Han roughly yanks the sleeve of Chan's sweater, "How did you get the tickets?"
"Let's say I knew someone who knows someone," Chan cryptically says, deciding not to tell everyone how he acquired those tickets.
"Anyway, I think it's better if the girls take turns to drive first," he continues with the planning.
"Yep. It's best if you boys get some rest before driving all night," Jinnie agrees, already collecting the trash from around the table.
You're representing everyone when you say that Jinnie and Chan make a great team, they're the ones who came up with the planning and handled the financial stuff, and they make sure everyone is doing well and having fun. They're basically playing parents to you, Han, and Jeongin which adds one more reason why they should date as soon as possible.
-
Jinnie offers to take the first turn to drive and Chan is the last one to get into the car as he has to return the rented tent and pay for it.
"Everyone please make sure you've checked your belongings," Chan says as he puts his safety belt on.
Jinnie turns on the car engine and checks everything, her safety belt, and the angle of the rearview mirror, and then adjusts the seat.
"Do you mind if I play music from my phone?" You ask.
"Not at all," Jinnie replies, tucking her hair behind her ear as she backs the car from the parking lot and starts driving.
Not long after the car driving through the main road, Han startles in the backseat and then asks, "How long have we been driving?"
Chan glances at his smartwatch and turns his head to the back, "About 35 minutes. Why?"
"I want to pee," Han says, his face doesn't show any expression but it makes his face appear so round.
"Can you hold it?" Chan asks.
Han considers it for a moment then slowly leans back on his seat, "Yeah, I'llâ I'll hold it," he doubtfully says.
"Distract yourself, you know, think of something so you don't want to pee anymore," Chan suggests.
"Think of the waterfall we went to yesterday," Jeongin playfully adds with a suppressed laugh.
"Hey!" Chan slaps Jeongin's arm, saying the opposite of what he suggested.
"I'll try to sleep," Han finds a better solution to detain his urge to pee.
"That's a great idea!" Chan says.
It's a good thing that Han is one of those people who can sleep anytime anywhere. He manages to sleep through two hours long of drive until the urge comes back.
"Guys, I don't think I can hold it anymore," he mutters, biting his lower lip until it turns pale.
Jinnie looks at him through the rearview mirror and sees how he can't hold the urge anymore, "The sign says rest area is only 10 kilometers away," she informs.
Han grips the headrest of Jeongin's headrest, "Okay."
"Are we good?" Jinnie asks.
"Yeah," he meekly answers.
"Just a few more minutes," you convince him.
There's nothing you can do to help him but you can relate to that feeling, you look back to check on him once in a while.
"Jinnie?" He calls again.
"Yeah?"
"Please step on the gas!" Han says, looking a little pale now.
Considering the urgency of the situation, Jinnie allows herself to go above the speed limit, she steps on the gas and the car picks up the speed, launching the car forward.
Sensing the change in speed, Chan wakes up from his nap and looks around in confusion. But the first thing he does when he gains his sense is check on Jinnie.
"What's wrong?" He asks.
"Han needs to pee," you answer for her since she focuses on driving.
"Almost there!" Jinnie says as she changes the lane to enter the rest area.
Han hops out of the car once the car gets to the parking lot of the rest area and immediately runs to search for the bathroom.
Once the car is parked, Jinnie lets out a sigh and leans back on her seat, "That was the most intense ten minutes I ever had in my life," Jinnie says.
Seeing the hilarity of it all, the three of you burst into laughter almost at the same time, making it one of those memorable little things that happened on this road trip.
The laughter wakes Jeongin up from his nap and he looks confused as to why everyone is laughing, "What's happening?"
No one is answering him but keep laughing until we're running out of air. Oh, there's nothing like the deep breaths after laughing that hard.Â
-
Since they're stopping at a rest area and it's close to lunchtime, they may as well take a break from driving to ear. Everyone scatters the second they step into the food court to order the food they want. You decide on a bowl of ramen and get in the queue with Jinnie behind you.
Even though he's already carrying a tray of food in his hands, Chan stops next to the queue and scans the menu.
"Hey, baby sist!" He loudly calls you.
The people in the queue turn their heads to see who he calls baby sist, you hurriedly turn your back to them and glare at Chan.
"Please don't address me with that name in public," You scold him through your gritted teeth.
"Order a portion of fried dumplings for me," he says, ignoring your complaint and leaving with a grin.
Everyone gathers at one of the long tables in the middle of the food court with their choices of lunch, you slide the plate of fried dumplings at Chan and steal one piece with your chopsticks.
"You better not drink a lot of sodas if you have a weak bladder," Jeongin and his savage intake make an appearance.
Han pretends not to hear him and continues to stuff his cheek with more food.
The lunch is not enough, so everyone scatter once more to buy snacks. You're getting a bag of mini fish-shaped cakes for desserts and Han appears behind you with a big smile on his face.
"Got you ice cream," he says.
"How nice of you!" You delightfully exclaim.
"I don't know what you like so I chose three flavors at once," he explains the different flavors of ice cream in one cone.
"Thank you," you mutter your gratitude with a smile.
"I have to go for another bathroom break," he says with a grin lingering on his face, then leaves the other way.
The ice cream would make a great dessert if it didn't have strawberry ice cream in the mix. It's obvious that Han completely forgot that you're allergic to it, you can't eat it, or throw it away. You can give it to Chan but Han would know that you're not eating the ice cream he specifically bought for you and he would find that disrespectful, or worse, upset him.
Making your way out of the food court, you carry the bag of snacks in one hand and the ice cream in the other, still have no idea what to do with it.
Out of nowhere, Jeongin comes from the side, also carrying an ice cream in hand. He takes the one from your hand and switches it with him, a chocolate-flavored one.
"You can have mine," he says, not waiting to bite right into the ice cream.
Not only that he remember your allergy, but he also comes with a new ice cream and you find that endearing. You let out a mix of scoff and laugh, "I've never seen someone bite into ice cream."
"Well, there's always a first time to everything," he coyly says.
-
It's your turn to drive now and thankfully, you have set up an hour-long playlist for it. Jinnie remains in the front, sitting on the passenger's side and putting her legs up as she draws on her sketchbook.
The boys don't find it hard to fall back to sleep after a hearty lunch, you lower the volume of the music and only hum along to the song currently playing in the car to not wake the sleeping beauties in the back.
"What do you think?" Jinnie asks, holding her sketchbook out to you.
You keep the steering wheel steady to glance at the rough drawing of you from her point of view, then look back straight ahead.
"Wow. That's good!" You compliment.
Jinnie is a great illustrator, she mostly does illustrations for children's books and magazines which explains her exceptional talent for drawing.
"Please tell me you'll finish it and then email it to me," you say, already planning on making it your profile picture for your social media.
"I'll finish it when I'm not in a moving vehicle," she says, putting her pencil back into its case and putting it on the dashboard along with the sketchbook.
"I think it's cute," Jinnie says while stretching her arms to the front.
"What cute?" You ask with a perplexed smile.
"The way Chris calls you baby sist," she answers.
Oh, she must be talking about that little incident that happened back at the food court. You nod and tap your steering wheel to the rhythm of the song playing.
"Look, I don't mind when call me that in front of you guys. Just don't do it in front of a bunch of strangers," you explain, briefly shifting your focus to driving by a big truck.
"I mean... what if there are cute guys there and they heard it," you playfully remark.
Jinnie softly chuckles and grabs a bottle of water from the cup holder, "You're beautiful and smart, you shouldn't have any problems getting a cute guy," she says.
"That I agree!" You jokingly say with a sassy eyebrow raise.
When it occurs to you that this would be the perfect opportunity to have another crack at her, you arrange the words in your head before saying them out loud.
"I can say the same thing about you, Jinnie. You're beautiful and smart, except you have a lot of patience in you," you pause for a chuckle and briefly glance at her, "you shouldn't have any problems getting a hot guy."
Jinnie gets quiet and you begin to think that your words offended her in a way yet you give it another moment for her to digest your words thoroughly. She suddenly looks back, probably making sure that none of the boys are listening in on this conversation.
"I'm just a girl," Jinnie meekly says, lowering her voice as she slightly slumps in her seat, "All I can do is wait for the other person to profess their feelings to me."
Oh, finally! You manage to successfully crack her this time. You keep your cool and continue to crack deeper into it.
"I have to stop you right there!" You tell her with your hand raised, making a stop sign at her.
"You're not just a girl, you're incredible!" You may have exaggerated your tone a little bit but she needs to hear the truth in your words.
"You're not just beautiful and smart, you're kind, compassionate and you're strong and gentle at the same time. And if I'm being honest, I look up to you a lot," you openly admit.
"Aww..." Jinnie coos, she seems to be taking your compliments well along with a shy smile.
"And a girl like you shouldn't wait. A girl like you take matters into your own hands and you know, tell him how you feel," you encourage her.
Yeah, okay, maybe there's an underlying motive here but that doesn't make what you said to her a lie.
"It's a different thing when the person you like is your friend and you've been close with that person for so long," Jinnie sighs, her voice drops lower and she seems smaller than ever.
However, the mystery is now solved. Jinnie is indeed having the same feeling, she's hesitant only because they've been friends for too long. You get it that sometimes it's a bit scary to date someone who knows so much about you but if you focus on the good side, it means that they'll be more accepting and understanding towards your qualities.
If there are two people who truly deserve each other, it's Chan and Jinnie.
"Isn't that a good thing? You've known each other long enough to learn so much about each other and understand each other better," you give her your opinion and secretly glance to see her reaction.
Jinnie plays with the lint on her jeans as she digests your words while looking at the ever-changing scenery as the car keeps moving forward.
"You're right," she finally responds to your words.
Now, that you've tried your best to give her that little push, you can only hope for the outcome and hopefully, it'll be the best one.
"I know I'm right," you confidently remark, then burst into laughter.
Unbeknownst to you and Jinnie, Chan has been listening all along and behind his dark hoodie, he's smiling from ear to ear.
-
After stopping for dinner, the trip continues with Chan behind the wheel and Jeongin on his side. Jinnie takes the middle seat with Han and you occupy the backseat, using the extra space to curl up and sleep.
It's a bummer that you're not sitting next to him but this way, Han can easily look to the back and see you peacefully sleeping with a hand under your head, lost in your sweet dream.
"Hey, Han, can you get me a can of soda?" Chan asks without looking at him.
Since he's too busy watching you sleep, Han doesn't hear it the first time and snaps his head to the front, "What?"
"Get me a soda," Chan repeats while holding his arm out to the back so Han can hand it right into his hand.
Han rummages inside the small cooler box next to his feet, grabbing the first can that rolls into his hand and putting it into Chan's hand.
"Thanks!" Chan shortly says to him.
The road is eerily empty as it turns smaller from four into two lanes and the last sliver of sun has fully disappeared, replaced by the soft moonlight on a hot summer night.
Having nothing to do, Jeongin looks into the GPS to assess the route and the final destination.
"It says we'll arrive at 7 in the morning," he says.
"Yep, there's no hurry. We have plenty of time until the gig," Chan calmly says, still holding the soda in his hand, unopened.
Jeongin reclines on his seat and crosses his arms together on his chest, "And what we're going to do until then?"
"I booked us rooms at a hotel nearby," Chan informs, "we'll have some rest before leave in the afternoon."
"Hotel, right? Not motel?" Jeongin asks with suspicious eyes because the last time they stayed at the motel, he had to share the bed with Han.
"Yes," Chan hastily answers.
"I'm going to get my own room," Jeongin says.
"I thought you like sharing the bed with me," Han jokingly says.
"That's the least of my worries," Jeongin says, then gives each of them a glare.
Han pops his head in the middle of them, "Then what's the problem?"
Jeongin gives each of them a glare, "It's you guys snoring. It's like a whole orchestra in there but all the instruments are tuba," he says with a shiver.
Han grabs the front of Jeongin's shirt in response, "My snore sounded nothing like tuba!"
"How do you know what your snores sound like?" Jeongin asks, giving him the side eyes.
"Last time I checked it's Beethoven's Symphony No. 9," Han answers without a beat.
Jeongin leans at him and gives him a perplexed look, "What?"
"What?" Han asks back with daring eyes.
"Beethoven's Symphony No. 9," Chan says, finding himself giggling to it and his giggles gradually turn into laughter that fills the small, enclosed space.
Chan slows down the speed and holds the steering wheel steady with his forearms to open his can of soda. The second it pops open, the carbonated drink fizzles and spills out of the can.
"Oh, no, man..." he groans in complaint, seeing the soda get all over the steering wheel and dripping onto his lap.
"You made a mess, Chris," Jeongin grumbles, pulling multiple tissues out of the box and then handing some to him. He helps to wipe the droplets that somehow land on the console.
With one hand steadily holding the steering wheel, Chan keeps on dabbing the wet patch on the jeans with a ball of tissues.
"Ugh, it's sticky," Chan groans in disgust and then looks down at his lap to see if he misses anything.
The moment Chan's eyes are off the road, the headlights shine on an object that comes into sight, and Jeongin, as the only one aware of the deer standing in the middle of the road, reflexively grabs the steering wheel and turns it hard to the right.
Losing control of the car, no one can do anything to stop it. The tires are screeching against the asphalt as the car spins around, and eventually stops as it hits something with a loud banging sound, but no one is moving.
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Telegraph Road 1977 & 2024 - Lando Norris
SUMMARY: For Lando, the words "first love" just make him think of his childhood neighbour. Then, his heart breaks a little when he remembers she's somewhere in San Francisco. How surprised he is when it turns out you're much closer - in an apartment across the hall. Lando couldn't be more grateful for the strange mysteries that led you to this doorway.
WC: 983
Everybody has those moments when they are suddenly reminded of someone they knew long ago. Old classmates, kids from summer camp, playground friends â people who once were part of your daily life but now you think about them maybe once a year if not less often. Those silent questions of âI wonder what happened to them?â come and go just as quickly, like a golden brown leaf carried by the wild, autumn wind.
Lando is something of an exception to that rule. The thoughts of his old neighbour never quite leave him, as though his autumn is more of a perpetuity than a season. Despite the passage of time, that curious quirk of his stuck. However, the why has changed. While still a child, heâd ponder the memories of you simply out of longing. It is only natural when oneâs closest companion is gone one day. Then, as his young heart began revolving around crushes, dates and girlfriends, Lando suffered an epiphany. Finally, he understands! It was as if on some random Tuesday lightning had struck him â it was love he felt for you, not just friendship. And what a tale of oneâs first love it told! âWe were inseparable, soulmates, if you will, when one day she moved away and I never heard from her again.â Truly, a drama worth a thousand novels.
Little does he know, that those strange mysteries that separate lovers, sometimes lead them to each otherâs doorwaysâŚ
Lando is closing his front door, when the sound of paws tapping the floor grabs his attention. Without much thought, he looks down the corridor.
The tapping belongs to a rather happy-looking Scottish setter. He recognizes the breed only because heâs spent his childhood running around a small British town with you and two of those dogs. Despite the lingering memories of the past, Lando doesnât mind the pet any longer, again focusing on his own things. Then, a strangely familiar voice distracts him again:
âCome on, Axel! Weâll have plenty of time to make friends later.â
Almost giving himself whiplash, Lando looks for the source of the sound. Could it be�
Youâre a little surprised when you hear someone calling out your name in a questioning manner. As far as you know, none of your friends live in Monaco. So how come someone here knows you? Fixing your grip on the box labelled Kitchen, you take a look around the corridor.
For a moment, you think youâre just seeing things. But youâve stared at that face for so long, you could recognize him in the darkest, most inexplicable fever dream; the face that youâve associated with home for your whole life.
âOh my God, Lando Norris!â you exclaim between chuckles. âI canât believe it!â
His cheeks redden a little. âYou remember me?â The question has a distinct tone of surprise.
âOf course I do! You were my best friend,â you say. âWell, the only friend for a few years,â you add, your voice noticeably quieter than before.
âWhat are you doing here? I thought your family moved to San Francisco.â
It is only then that Lando truly sees who youâve become throughout all those years away. Perhaps you are more beautiful than he could imagine but youâre also much sadder. Thereâs a wistful look in your eye, a tell-tale sign of maturity that is only born out of tears. He can only wonder what pains have brought you back to him.
âAt first, it was San Francisco, then New York, Chicago, L.A⌠I never fit in anywhere. Theyâre all very lonely cities, you know?â Just for a second, your eyes become glossy. His heart feels a painful sting that only gets worse as you force a wide smile on your face. Youâve had practice in faking happiness, havenât you? âBut enough about me, itâs not that interesting,â you say in a casual tone. âCongratulations on your driving career. Seriously, youâre amazing. Would it be creepy if I admitted now that Iâve watched every single one of your races?â
âNot as creepy as admitting Iâve stalked your social media and never followed you because I thought you donât remember me.â
âAre you dead serious right now?â Landoâs sheepish smile earns a loud laugh from you. âYou should have tried anyway!â
âFunny that youâre the one to say that,â he retorts. âWhy didnât you message me if youâre such a big fan?â
Flustered, you look away for a moment. âHonestly, I thought it would be weird,â you confess. âI was sure youâd forgotten all about me and pulling this âwe were childhood friendsâ schtick now that youâre famous would be so embarrassing. Youâre this top-of-the-top racing driver and Iâm, well, me.â A bitter chuckle comes after your words but the faux amusement isnât enough to fool Lando.
âYouâre staying for long in Monaco?â His question is accompanied by a light gesture towards the box in your arms.
âAs long as they donât fire me, I guess.â That strange, sad laughter again. âListen, you look like you have somewhere to be and Iâve already taken up too much of your time. You could come by in the evening, catch up if you want?â Your tone rises, revealing uncertainty about whether the invitation is welcome.
But to him, the answer is obvious. âIâd love that.â
You give him one last smile, then disappear behind the door to your apartment.
In some sense, he has you back. Not the girl he remembers, no. Something innate seems to be gone from your soul but Lando lacks the words to name the change. The sights, the loves, the pains â whatever it was that took your life on the other side of the Atlantic Ocean, it sprouted melancholy in the very marrows of your bones.
âWhat happened to you?â he whispers to himself.
The only answer that comes is muffled footsteps and the shuffling of cardboard boxes.
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Wild to me that photo-shoots like this exist and no one has yet written the AU where Charles has many outfits for Edwin to lose his mind over. But itâs about more than just the outfits, of course. It always is.
So... if I were to do it it'd be like this:
Charlesâ history and childhood are the same, and heâs chock-full of confidence issues, anger, a profound need for validation. When heâs in front of a camera he can make that all disappear for a bit, and just be pretty.
But what is he worth when what he is isnât pretty? When heâs full of spitting, incandescent rage so strong it scares him; when all he wants is to fight back against the people who hurt him?
He thinks itâs ugly how much he canât stand his dad. How jagged he is inside. How much he wants to be loved and held safe. How deep he carries the shame for wanting to simply be admired, and for daring to think he could deserve it.
He learns his way around a cricket pitch because he has to. Because itâs the thing to do. The thing thatâs going to get him the least hurt, at home and at school. But itâs not foolproof: Heâs never quite one of the lads. Never quite the right sort of son, either.
Charles who saves up for ages for drapey, pretty things; lovely things; things that feel too nice and look too nice on him, and secrets them away because if his father or his friends find them heâll be dead. Charles who finds a secondhand camera in a charity shop. Charles who takes secret photos in the middle of the night of himself wearing his secret clothes, photos in which he could maybe be the kind of person he wishes he could be all the time. Confident. Cool. Not just pretty but beautiful. Unbroken.
He stashes the photos even though it would be safer not to keep them at all. And maybe it should be enough just to know he took them. But some selfish and needy part of him wants the evidence, the physical proof. So heâs got this shoebox of photographs stashed under a loose floorboard in his dormitory room at St. Hilarionâs, and after he dies, he retrieves it before he and Edwin leave the school together forever.
He wonât let Edwin look inside the box, at first.
Charles doesnât show up on film anymore, or in mirrors. He tries to keep it a secret from Edwinâthat this might be the bit that hurts the worst about dying, the being invisible. But itâs harder to keep this a secret than other things about his past.
He doesnât have to really actually say it. Itâs the wistful glances that do him in, probably, the ones he fails to hide well enough. One day, with no preamble, Edwin presents him with a full-length mirror in an ornate frame. âWe going somewhere, mate?â Charles asks. Edwin tells him no, this mirror is different. Heâs enchanted it. âLook again, Charles,â he says gently. And Charles looks again, and realizes he can see himself.
And who the fuck is going to stop him choosing what he likes now, when heâs picking out his outfits for the afterlife? His cunt of a dad? The ignorant tossers who drowned him to death? Charlesâd like to see any of them try.
It seems like it wonât be Edwin who stops him eitherâEdwin, who goes a little glazed round the eyes every time Charles draws up short to stare at a silk shirt in a highstreet window. Nah, Edwin Payneâs a bloody first-rate enabler of all of Charlesâ base needs to feel worth it. Charles has got the best best mate in the world. He doesnât say anything as Charlesâ wardrobe slowly grows. Just smiles his little enigmatic smile, the one that's just for Charles with its tantalizing flash of teeth, and drags his gaze over Charles like he approves of Charlesâ daring every time Charles wears something new.
So one day he shows Edwin the box. The photos. A month later Edwin brings him a vintage camera and a roll of spelled film. Offers to photograph him.
And Charles could cry. Could shake apart into tiny little pieces. He wants to be seen so fucking bad. By Edwin in specific. By Edwin, who wraps himself all up in tweed and pinstripes and flushes regularly at the sight of Charlesâ collarbone. By prim and proper Edwin, who puts his hand on the small of Charlesâ back and tells him to buy the silk shirt; that is why they get paid for taking on cases, isnât it, after all? Port Townsend has changed him. Changed them both.
âWe all have our pleasures,â Edwin says, and thereâs that smile again, that raised eyebrowâand what does it mean? Charles wants to know Edwinâs pleasures. Wants to be one of them.
Can he be one of them?
Thereâs a tiny little thrift store in this little seaside town, crammed full of clothes Charles loves almost viscerally and just has to have - but he doesnât try any of them on until theyâre back home in London, in the familiar comfort of their cluttered, dimly-lit office. He digs the camera out of the bag of tricks backpack then, puts in the film; checks and rechecks that heâs put it in right.
One evening he sets the camera on the desk in front of Edwin, who is reading. Waits patiently for his attention to catch on it and for his curious eyes to lift to Charlesâ face.
âRight,â Charles says. Past the lump of nerves in his throat and the phantom heat in his cheeks and the impending thrill of being looked at. âAbout those photographs. You asked if Iâd...â
âBe amenable,â Edwin finishes for him, like heâs remembering their conversation precisely.
Charles wants to shrivel up. And he also wants to stand taller, prouder. Angle himself just right. Because Edwinâs watching him now, appraising, and the idea that he might like what he sees makes something unbearably good fizzle down Charles' spine. âWell, I'm. I'm a bit more than amenable, mate,â he says. His voice is a rasp in his throat.
âAre you indeed,â Edwin says evenly. He steeples his fingers. Like Charles is a case and heâs already solved him. Like Charles is one of his cherished first-edition detective magazines with a fraying binding and Edwin is going to fix him right up.
Maybe it'll be easy. Done in a flash. Or if not, maybe Edwin will be up for the challenge. Charles wants to find out which, more than he's ever wanted something in his entire short life and in his afterlife combined.
#dbda#dead boy detectives#dead boy detective agency#payneland#charles rowland#in the wise words of manicpixiedreamedwins these two are so freak4freak#and unfortunately (or depending on your perspective fortunately) for all of you i actually cannot desist until i've made them be kinky#cw child abuse#cw self worth issues#cw slight internalized homophobia/biphobia#seventeen going under playing in the background of this entire premise tbh#GOD THE KID LOOKS SO TIRED
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