#is the problem that you had to contend with the idea that... maybe they don't WANT to be here and probably have little choice?

[uncanny-tranny]

I think I've cracked why it makes me so irate when customers have this expectation that workers not only offer service to them but to Do It With a Smile.

It's this sense of entitlement that it isn't enough to have a service offered to you, but that it must never remind you why workers might not be chipper.

What people mistake is that this country is built off freedom that makes us All Happy. What they miss is that this country was built on façades and platitudes - the comfort of being shielded from any uncomfortable reality.

[tapakah0]

Okay! I don't know where you got the idea from and my best guess is that your brain is connected to mine via bluetooth but.

Me and Hoddie have a royal au and your animation made me think of it again.

Nothing crazy special, but...ah...I should probably give a little context yeah...hmm.

Uh, okay. There's a kingdom. whose king and queen have died, leaving behind several possible heirs who are not their direct children. Right now, the king's first general is sitting on the throne, because the power of the army is, you know, a pretty powerful argument in a fight for the throne, right? This creepy regent is Cass. And Cass came to power thanks to Hoddie, who's basically the king's heir too, but she's pretty distant and her chances of the throne are quite slim. This has made her a professional rat and back stabber. The whole palace is busy weaving intrigue and destroying each other in a competition for power. Contests in cunning and sneakiness. A maximally intellectually uncomfortable environment in general.

Until Hoddie finds the true heiress. The king's blood daughter, to whom the throne should rightfully belong.

Problem? The problem is that the heiress needs to be two years older to be old enough to rule. And Hoddie and Cass' goal is to make sure she lives to that age in an environment where every other person wants to frame or kill her.

That heiress is you, Tap. But we couldn't think of what you'd look like in this au ahaha.

MHHMMM I SEE ONCE IN A WHILE BRAIN BLUETOOTH IS A GOOD THING you left me a window for my part and I grabbed this opportunity with sharp teeth Since there was no mention of my part, I have the audacity to add my own version. Did I understand correctly that my existence as an heiress was not known? It would be strange if the king was not looking for me, if I was the only heir (by blood), which means they were hoping for a new child, or already had plans for an indirect heir, or wanted to hide me. What other power is there, besides the king and the army, that holds the common people? Church. The king could have sent me to be trained as a priestess in order to gain support from them (either I was not considered worthy of receiving the throne in the future, which is why they preferred to hide me, or the king so badly needed their support that he was ready to sacrifice his only blood daughter) . Thus, from a young age, the beauty of a non-existent world somewhere beyond the heavens was drummed into my head and, in general, “God speaks all our actions.” I have an inconspicuous appearance, a position above a simple servant, but such priests are usually considered to be the daughters of high nobles, but not the king himself, which is why not everyone could know who I really was. Thus, they forgot about my existence ~ After the death of the king and all the heirs, the church quickly realized what to do next, and crushed me to itself, hiding me from the world until I reached the age of succession to the throne. (But children could take the throne under a regent. Could Hoodi become my regent as one of the older contenders for the throne?) So, back to the turmoil. Hoodie found me at church. Since childhood, my worldview could have changed greatly under the influence of the church, so, well, you will have to hammer a lot into my head, in addition to the throne’s education (You know... it's bit complicated to make a human sona not as a stupid little ball XDD... it literally can't get a shape at this point... maybe you will place a real bunny as the new king? It will be eating cabbage 24/7 and everyone will be happy)

[coraniaid]

Giles: "Why should someone want to harm Cordelia?" Willow: "Maybe because they met her?"

OK, for the record I like Witch a lot. I think it's a very solid episode of Buffy, even if there are still a couple of odd early-show moments now and then. Not quite top tier, even for this season, but it's a very promising beginning.

Or is it?

Amy Madison herself will never become a regular character in the way the ending of this episode very much implies she will be. (Amy knows about magic! she knows Buffy has superpowers, and that Buffy, Giles, Xander and Willow investigate supernatural problems! she is friends with Willow and, by the end of the episode, seems to be becoming friends with Buffy! To misquote Willow at the end of this season, how come she's not in the club? Even if not as a regular, it would have been nice to see her again in Prophecy Girl or something.). Other than Cordelia herself, I don't think we see any of the would-be cheerleaders again. Robin Riker, who plays Catherine Madison, obviously won't be back either. And Dana Reston (the writer of this episode) won't write for the show again, nor will Stephen Cragg return as director. In a lot of ways, Witch feels like less a foretaste of what is yet to come than it is a glimpse at a slightly different future of the show than the one we actually got. And I think that's pretty fascinating.

Don't let the fact that the random thoughts below are mostly nitpicks or complaints fool you: I've had a soft spot for this episode for a long time and this latest rewatch hasn't changed that at all.

Not at all an original observation on my part, but the episode is called 'Witch' (and not 'The Witch', despite how it's often reported) because it's meant to be a kind of pun. Which witch is which? It's easy to miss because … well, there really isn't much of a mystery here. We aren't introduced to a single suspect other than Amy, and the idea that "Amy" might not be the real Amy is only raised towards the end of the episode (and not in a way that leaves much doubt that Buffy is correct).

For all the build-up of how much practising the would-be cheerleaders have to do just to be contenders, the actual cheer routines (Amber's pre-credits tryout aside) are pretty … lackluster? These girls had to get specialist trainers and work for hours a day for months just to memorize chants like "Six, seven, eight" and "Go Sunnydale Go"?

Not to keep banging the 'why does the show keep introducing new characters and forgetting about the old ones?' drum (I know why, it just bothers me) but: why isn't Harmony trying out for the cheerleading squad? Years from now, the show will retcon that Harmony was a cheerleader (I don't believe it's ever actually established during the high school seasons) but there's no sign of her here. Again, given that Harmony was a named character despite her limited screen time back in The Harvest last episode, it just feels a little weird to me. Is Harmony important or not? If the show was being adapted to any medium other than network television, it feels like she definitely would be here. (Of course, back in March 1997 her absence wouldn't have stood out in the same way. It's only a problem with the benefit of hindsight.)

"You're the Slayer and we're the Slayerettes." I've said it before but I still think 'the Slayerettes' is a (much) better name for the group than the Scooby Gang.

Apart from the exchange I quoted at the top of this post, I also like "It's not what you think!" / "You like to look at the semi-nude engravings?" / "OK, it is what you think." And, yes, "I laugh in the face of danger ... then I hide until it goes away." And Giles's "That's the thrill of living on the Hellmouth! There's a veritable cornucopia of fiends and devils and ghouls to engage ... well, pardon me for finding the glass half full."

Xander telling Willow that she's "like a guy … my guy friend who knows about girls" is obviously in the script to set up Buffy later telling him she likes him because he's "one of the girls", but it feels slightly out of place because it's not at all clear to me that Xander has any guy friends at all. Or, indeed, before meeting Buffy, that he has any friends at all except Willow. Except for Jesse, of course, who … right. Actually, @btvsobsessed mentioned recently that this was the first episode to be filmed, and -- not knowing much about how these things were written -- I wonder if Dana Reston didn't even know 'Jesse' was a character that was going to have existed when she wrote this one.

There's also no Angel (again, given his late addition to the cast, maybe this episode was written before there was an Angel?) or any other vampire, making this one of the rare handful of episodes to be entirely vampire free. Again, a somewhat fascinating choice to have the first regular episode of a show about a Vampire Slayer not feature any vampires at all. Not even a mention of the Master either. Buffy says "we haven't seen a vampire in over a week", but it's not clear if the last time she saw a vampire was in last episode's The Harvest or if there have been any other off-screen vampire slayings taking place. In general, this episode could have been a sequel to the unaired pilot and (other than the new actor playing Willow) worked just as well or better as it does as a follow-up to the actual opening episodes.

Obviously it's possible to read this episode (and the previous two) as Willow having a crush on Xander. Retroactively that's the reading that makes most sense. But oddly enough I don't think the show has actually made this crush explicit yet. We know that Xander and Willow "used to date" when they were five and that Willow went to the Bronze hoping to run into him, but Willow doesn't seem obviously bothered by Xander's interest in Buffy -- she encourages him to ask her out, even -- and at Buffy's prompting in Welcome To The Hellmouth she went to talk to a guy who wasn't Xander (but who was, admittedly, a vampire). I know it's definitely established canon by The Pack, but I can't remember if we get any real hint of it before that episode. Which is odd, because in my mind that was basically one of Willow's two main personality traits this season (the other trait was being good with computers, and that one admittedly is on full display this episode).

"First vampires, now witches. No wonder you can still afford a house in Sunnydale." Okay, for the sake of balance I should acknowledge that this line -- and the fact Amy had her body stolen "a few months ago" -- is probably evidence in favour of the fact that weirdness in Sunnydale does predate Buffy's arrival and the Master's most recent attempt to escape from his supernatural prison. (I keep wanting to type 'escape the Hellmouth', but that's not quite where he is, right?) Even though I think this is meant to be more of a tongue-in-cheek statement here than the fact the show will later treat it as.

It bugs me slightly that Buffy tells Joyce that Amy trains with her mom for "three hours a day", because that's not actually what 'Amy' told her. 'Amy' actually claims she trains for six hours a day ("three hours in the morning, three at night"). Of course, we don't know how much of this story is supposed to be true -- 'Amy' obviously isn't training with her mother at all -- but I think we are meant to think she spent a lot of time training and tried to get on the team (mostly) honestly before resorting to magic. I think Catherine was expecting her second go around at high school to be a lot easier than she actually found it. (I assume she only went after Amber so early because she was obviously so much better than everyone else and she didn't want to have to play second fiddle to her.) It's interesting to me, anyway, in light of the show's later lore, that Catherine doesn't just use magic to make people think she's good at cheerleading but felt the need to (at least initially) try to win on merit.

Relatedly, I've seen people suggest that the scene where Cordelia confronts Amy after the group audition is a bit of a cheat: something that only exists to misdirect the audience but doesn't make sense when you know 'Amy' is really Catherine. I don't think I agree though: I think it's a nice character beat. I think we're meant to read Catherine's frustration at not being able to "get my [new] body to move like [my old one]" as completely genuine. Catherine really thought that if her daughter just tried as hard as she did she'd be able to walk into the cheerleading squad, and is confused and upset by the dawning realization that this isn't true. She's nonplussed by being confronted by Cordelia because it's not a situation the teenage Catherine ever experienced herself: she was the popular and competent cheerleader who got to judge the other girls, not the clumsy wannabe getting judged.

The part of the plot I do think is a bit of a cheat is Amy's apparent surprise at Lishanne being the victim of a spell. "She was as freaked out as the rest of us!" declares Xander. "I don't think she realizes what she was doing," decides Buffy. And this motivates them to (eventually) go and talk to Amy's mother (and also to conveniently leave Amy alone for one more night and let her curse Buffy next). Only … uh. It's not true. "Amy" didn't have any reason to be surprised at all. She knows exactly what she's doing and doesn't show any hesitation or remorse ever again. It's just a pointless delay, and it never gets brought up in the script again, not even a throwaway line about her being a better actor than they'd realized or something.

Obviously Giles not having cast any sort of magical spell before will turn out later to be what we might politely call a fib, but I don't think the writers had any idea about that this episode. I also don't think they had any plans for either Willow or Xander later coming out as gay, despite what Whedon may have later claimed, or Willow becoming a witch, or the later metaphorical link between these two things. But obviously Willow's early forays into magic here are some neat accidental foreshadowing (it's also noteworthy that science and magic aren't treated as being in opposition here: I think that's just not a thing until Season 4.)

… embarrassingly, I was going to say "it would have been a nice bit of continuity if the unnamed science teacher here had been Dr Gregory from next episode", but I looked it up after watching the episode and apparently … he is?? I genuinely don't think I knew that. In my mind Dr Gregory was always a one-off, one-episode character. (In my mind and, I suspect, as asserted as fact in some of my older posts. Oh well.)

I think the show deserves a couple of points for tying Catherine Madison's status as Sunnydale's Worst Mom to an obsession with dieting and staying thin, and for suggesting Amy apparently "losing a lot of weight" since Willow last saw her is a warning sign something is wrong with her home life. And for linking Amy's newfound happiness after being freed from her mother's control to making plans to make brownies and taking about "getting fat". However, it loses all those points (and about a million more) because Amy is not, in fact, fat at any point we see her on screen and never becomes so, something that can be equally said for every single female actor who ever appears on the show. There is, also, a slightly unpleasant irony to a show like this -- full of current or former child actors -- writing an episode whose moral is that children should be allowed to eat normally and think about getting fat and not be forced to vicariously live out the dreams of their parents at the cost of any semblance of a regular childhood.

I have various thoughts about what this episode means for the character of Joyce Summers -- I don't think it's a particular stretch to say that this episode is, first and foremost, about Buffy's relationship with her mother in a way that the first two episodes didn't really touch on -- but I will save them for their own post.

[scoobydoodean]

I think Sam's shooting of Samuel Campbell would be a fun comparison to make with Emma. Split-second decisions in the hunting world don't leave a lot of time for certainty and at first, Sam was so nervous he'd "unjustly" shot Samuel. He was so afraid of making the wrong call. When he kills Emma, Sam's overcorrected the opposite direction, afraid of "choking." These extremes are tied up with how he balks at the idea of leadership (in his own words, S13 and S14). I just think it's neat!

Interesting point!

SAM (spots Samuel and aims his gun at him): Don't move. SAMUEL: Sam. SAM: Put your gun down. SAMUEL: What you gonna do, son? You're not gonna shoot me. You got your soul back. You gonna shoot your own family? SAM: Yeah, I wouldn't go with the family thing. Try again. SAMUEL: Mary's still my daughter. (steps closer) SAM: I said don't move. SAMUEL: You're still named after me. (steps closer) SAM: I said don't move! SAMUEL: Appears to be our moment, Sam. You still want to know about your summer vacation? I'll tell you all about it. You're dying to know, huh? SAM: Yeah, I am. SAMUEL: Well, then, let's just put these down and talk. (steps closer) SAM: Stop. SAMUEL: It's all right, Sam. (steps closer) (Sam shoots Samuel in the head)

6.16 transcript

Samuel kept walking toward Sam, clearly intending to attack him, and Sam had to decide if that was because Samuel was infected with the khan worm, or whether it was because he was scared of Sam and wanted to disarm him! Sam also knew that Samuel was afraid of him in general already (not just the khan worm) because of the things Sam did when he was soulless. Sam's guilty feelings about what he did when he was soulless and how that impacted Samuel's image of him further muddies the situation for him and makes it hard for him to parse Samuel's fear and his own emotions (and maybe whether making this judgement call in self defense makes him like his soulless counterpart).

Sam isn't dealing with so many personal guilty feelings by 7.13 (in fact, he's said by 7.04 that he doesn't really feel guilty about anything in his past anymore). So he isn't burdened by his own self-image.

In 6.16, Dean tells Sam he made the right call by protecting himself, against Samuel and then...

SAM: I don't know. I mean, I barely remember [Samuel], and what I do remember – it's not good. And what he did to us...But... DEAN: There's a "but"? SAM: I mean, I just can't help but think...What would Mom say? DEAN: You know what I think Mom would say? She'd say just 'cause you're blood doesn't make you family. You got to earn that.

That bit about blood not making someone family might also be part of why later in 7.13, Sam jumps to insist Emma was not really Dean's kid. The problem is, Sam has absolutely zero right to decide that for Dean, and Dean rejects that assertion, and Emma is a brainwashed child—not their adult grandpa who decided they were weirdos and that he'd rather kill them to get their mother back (who would hate him for it) than treat them as his grandsons. Samuel offering Mary's own children to bring her back really is just... sick. Samuel knows that is something Mary would never want, but he doesn't care because he never respected Mary wanting a normal life to begin with and rejects Sam and Dean as the offspring born from her rejection of his headship.

The other dynamic in 7.13 that isn't present in 6.16 is how scared Sam is that Dean might not defend himself. He's contending not only with what Emma might do down the road, but with concerns that Dean might let her hurt him now or down the road if it comes right down to it. That's also part of what makes Sam so angry at Dean at the end of 7.13 too imo. Sam not only didn't trust Emma—he didn't trust Dean not to choke, and decided HE definitely could not choke and decided to be absolutely ruthless.

[gudvina]

I can't get over my conspiracy theory of Suzanne not having written SOTR. Like, I'm picky about books I like because of how the narrative voice is constructed. And TBOSAS and the OG trilogy have the same narrative voice- but not through the same character lens, if that makes sense. SOTR reads like an entirely different person wrote it. Like they were given TBOSAS, and the Trilogy, told to read them, and then write Haymitch's story, without any in-depth knowledge. Maybe it's partially because in Tbosas and the OG we got new characters, but everything in SOTR is recycled? Everyone is friends, and despite being a 'small town' all of them being close doesn't make much sense. Also, they tried so hard to make Lenore Dove seem interesting/someone to 'aspire to' but made her dumb, textually based on her actions. They also couldn't commit to it too hard because Haymitch teams up with Maysilee. And they pulled the stupid fandom 'omg she's his sister now/they're siblings!' thing that always happens when people want to act morally superior for bullying someone over a non-problematic ship. That is FANFICTION shit.

I won't deny that I also had the same suspicions at first, considering the way the storyline was constructed and, as you said yourself, the narrative voice of this book.

As someone who has always admired SC's writing, I find it extremely hard to concile Sunrise on the Reaping's writing with hers. It does read like a badly thought out fanfiction, like LD is a self insert character that was shoved into the narrative without considering how she'd work within it. While I often say I don't get how people love this book, I actually have to admit that I understand why it does; bringing back character that are tied to important characters in the other installments, for example, is a way to acclimate the reader to a prequel rather quickly

I don't completely agree with the idea of Suzanne having hired a ghostwriter, if I have to be honest. It's not that I think her incapable of doing that, this book at the end of the day is proof that money trumps quality, but I think a few reasons could explain why this novel's writing feels... different, let's say.

Firstly, this book, as I and many others already said, reads like a movie script and a way to add a few pennies to her pocket. Despite the fact that many say Suzanne Collins only writes when she has something to say, in this case she broke the formula, and decided to write this book to rectify the commercial failure that was TBOSBAS.

Secondly, even then, Suzanne had many ideas, but didn't know how to work them into the story without effort, so decided to cut many of them short in favour of an easy plot. And, I suspect, SOTR wasn't supposed to be Haymitch's book.

Thirdly, the Lenore Dove problem continues to be a marketing ploy; she's a strong call back to LG, her and Haymitch's relationship has a marketable catching phrase, and, most importantly, Suzanne Collins wanted to recreate the Everlark thing with them. Yet again, she didn't want to pur effort into writing her or the relationship, so in the end she decided to just write down other women to elevate her, but otherwise both her and the relationship seem to work very little within the narrative, despite the overbearing presence.

Which is interesting, because the ones she probably thought of as the strongest contenders to Lenore Dove (Effie and Maysilee) treat him with much better regard than his girl who lectures him and treats him like an idiot.

Fourthly, Suzanne Collins had only a few limits posed by her own self in CF/MJ, but the crux of the issue is that she kept writing herself in closed circles, making a lot of plots feel contrived and ineffective. I don't know why that is, but again, I suspect the reason, was the lack of effort into thinking the storyline through, and how to connect it from point a. to point b.

These are only a few reasons why I think it reads this way, and they might not be extensive, nor sufficient to someone who loves the books (they are not to me), but unfortunately I suspect reality is less cut and clear than we might perceive.

[moonspirit]

Hi! I'm the same Anon who asked about the hypothetical situation of Annie NOT crystalising herself and the other possible set of events occurring. I read your thoughts and I honestly never even thought about another Kenny and Annie reunion and just.. talking, quite interesting! (Not to mention Pam's own idea that they wrote - I like it!) Including another mentioning a fic where Annie sees her Dad as a Titan during the second Colossal Titan attack and.. I may had a pretty devious idea. So, let's say Annie did in some way join the Scouts (or just is betraying the Warriors,) so during the mission to retake Shinganshina and there's the scene where Zeke & the mindless Titan's appear, what if one of those mindless creatures was her Dad? (This next part, I'm somewhat iffy since it really feels I mis-characterised her since I tend to mess up, so my apologies!) I'm not sure HOW it could play out then, maybe Annie in some desperate attempt to hold her Dad down so it's not mauled by Levi or Zeke. Though, one thing is clear, she sees the Colossal Titan going down and realises that in some selfish way.. she could bring her Dad back, it'll be a curse he'll bare too but at least she'll see him. And oh.. That's Armin. Completely charred, yet still breathing. With the Scouts debating whenever to save Erwin or Armin. This is all I have before I genuinely write more nonsense, I appreciate taking your time to answer my previous question. Please, have a lovely day! (AND I'M SO SORRY FOR HOW WORDY THIS IS)

Oohhhh hello again anon! I'm honestly so relieved you saw my answer because you sent me the ask on sept 19th and... I took nearly a month to answer - very sorry T^T But I enjoyed it so much and yes, the variety of thoughts on it have been incredibly interesting!

Some quick things first tho 1. you don't have to apologise for a long-ask, they are genuinely enjoyable xD 2. I don't think there's such a thing as mis-characterization especially when we talk about a completely new what-if scenario because there's soooooo many little things influencing a person's thoughts and actions and the resultant outcomes. So nope, there are only headcanons, they are all valid, and you don't need to worry about anything else :>

Now to your ask!

🙃

How dare you now bring THREE contenders for the serum with Annie in the mess? Erwin, I don't see her caring for, but now it's Armin vs. her Dad?

What in the gut-wrenching angst is this, holy shit anon 🥲

But no, genuinely I don't think Annie trying to protect her father from Levi's attacks is out of character for her. That is her DAD. She may have joined the Scouts as you say, but maybe that's because it's her best chance for survival. Betraying the warriors isn't Annie's concern, it's betraying her dad. At any cost, even by joining the scouts, she must return to him.

Only, she probably didn't expect to see him in Paradis, and as a titan no less.

Of course she's abandoning everything else (let's say she doesn't know of Armin's plan) and rushing to protect her father and get him out of the line of fire - perhaps by taking him down in her titan form and dragging him to safety, using her scream to summon other pure titans to whoever is attacking and using the time to do so.

(wait... now I suddenly have the mental picture of Annie and Zeke engaging in a screaming match 🥲)

Her sudden switch in priorities isn't likely to bode well with the others, especially when so much is happening and the Scouts find themselves in a dangerously cornered pinch.

Annie's very good at analyzing a situation and quickly making problem-solving decisions, given two options, she chooses the one in which she has a greater chance of survival (yet sometimes she also willingly walks in to dead ends thanks to her heart, but that's canon). Like leaving Marco on the roof vs saving him, but now..... now we have an extreme situation.

Say she thought immediately crosses her mind - of feeding her father the colossal once she learns it's been taken down. She may not have become attached to Bertholdt as much as she considered him a companion in their mission and someone from home, but he's still... a companion. A fellow warrior.

How do you feed such a person to your father?

And then of course:

That's Armin. Completely charred, yet still breathing.

How do you save your father at the cost of losing the one boy who makes your heart beat faster than the wind?

The one boy you swore you'd protect, as long as you wore the wings of freedom by his side.

The one boy who's looked you in the eyes and said I love you.

Nothing makes sense anymore.

[callipraxia]

It’s pretty clear Stan is closer to Mabel than Dipper. They have more tender moments, he teases her less, and they have more in common. Stan definitely loves them both dearly, it might just be a case of finding it harder to relate to Dipper. Because while Stan and Dipper share a stubbornness and a commitment to their twin, they share relatively little else. But I wonder if you thought there might be more to that?

If it’s not just because Mabel is more like him, but that Dipper is more like Ford and there’s some lingering thoughts and feelings under the surface that make it harder for him to connect to him. Perhaps some underlying issues that Dipper might end up like Ford, or a subconscious frustration towards his brother.

It could simply be he finds it harder to connect to Dipper because Stan’s now much older, might have an old man’s opinions about how boys should act because his own childhood was a lifetime ago and he’s forgotten what it used to be like.

Or maybe it’s because Stan’s doing his best to keep his family out of danger but Dipper is the inquisitive adventurer, and actively seeks out the mysterious that put them at risk.

This touches on one of the reasons why I briefly considered doing a take on the Relativity Falls concept: I haven't read many fics, but all the art I've seen for it seems to substitute the characters without accounting for the fact that Mabel is a girl whereas both of the 'original' first set of twins were boys. There are very few historical absolutes, of course (you get powerful, educated women even in history's most misogynistic eras), but if Mabel had been born in the early 1950s instead of Stan, the odds are excellent that the world would have treated her very, very differently than it did Stan, and that she'd have had a very different set of problems to contend with.

From what we see of Stan's childhood, he was under pressure, from an early age, to tone down the softer aspects of his personality: to be tougher, to be more stoic, etc., and that if he simply had to express emotion, he should do so through aggression. It's pretty striking to contrast the short in Lost Legends to the scenes leading up to the falling out in ATOTS: Little Stan could admit that what bothered him was his perception that Filbrick just didn't like him and how he wished he could get Filbrick to act as though he did for once, but by the time they're teenagers...During the first scene where they discuss the prospect of Ford going to college, Stan cannot admit any of the complicated feelings (fear of abandonment, how what the principal said would have to hurt even if you were used to it, maybe even anger that Ford seemingly had no problem with the idea of walking away from him whereas he was freaking out over the mere suggestion, etc.) he's having, so he just makes fun of Ford for sounding like a nerd robot. Ford seems to be at least dimly aware of what Stan might really be thinking, but the best he can do is say that Stan had better visit him in California. To Ford, that was probably a reassurance: don't worry about it, it's all good, I still want you in my life even if I'm not doing the same thing you're doing - because we already do some different things, right? To Stan, however, it was nowhere near enough. To him, the word visit just means: you don't need me; I am unnecessary, just like Dad always said. But he can't admit he needs to feel needed and doesn't even know who he is in a world where Ford is a completely separate person from him and they aren't just the collective "Pines twins." He can talk to inanimate objects, but not people - something mirrored by his behavior in the show proper, where he has no problem talking to Ford's super-secret nerd diaries during season 2, but cannot communicate at all with the real deal, who is a stranger who happens to look exactly like him but who doesn't act like he expected Ford to act. And in the finale, it's right after Ford apologizes to and accepts a hug from McGucket (ie, did the exact things Stan wanted him to do when they first saw each other again) that Stan snaps that it's good to see him, too, and only a very little bit later that Stan flips his lid without a care in the world for the bigger picture. From his point of view, people just stuck legs on his house/business just so they could all sally off and risk their lives - in his case, again - to rescue Ford...and Ford appreciates Dipper and Mabel, and he appreciates Old Man McGucket, who looks like the personification of bad grammar, but the only time Ford even acknowledges Stan's presence voluntarily, it's to criticize him. And by this point, Stan has internalized the Filbrick Code to some degree, as shown by his treatment of Dipper in "Dreamscaperers" and how he snapped that he no longer considered Ford family at the end of ATOTS: you toughen up, because if someone hurts you, the only way to handle that situation is to hurt them back, preferably more than they hurt you. This wouldn't have been exactly the moment to discuss his real feelings about the issue anyway, what with the whole active threat to the fabric of reality problem they had going on, but Stan isn't that great at repressing strong emotions until it's a more appropriate time to deal with them in general, and the only emotions Filbrick seems to have felt comfortable expressing were anger and contempt, and while Stan does have a slightly broader emotional range than Filbrick, Stan has also learned to channel a lot of every and anything else he has going on into one of those two emotions, too. Then you add in Stan's difficulty with emotional regulation, how he cannot just put it aside and deal with it later, and you get a sudden explosion.

Contrast Mabel. It's never really pointed out, but while Dipper’s having all these issues with whether or not he is manly enough all summer, his sister’s arguably already closer to the standard than he is. Mabel is loud to the point of dominating the room; Mabel is assertive and confident; Mabel even may have a bit more of a natural inclination toward violence than Dipper does. A Mabel born in the fifties would have probably been something like Stan in the looking-glass house: put under intense pressure from an early age to stop acting like herself in several key ways, but from the opposite direction. The world would have told Mabel to shut up, to not just see what she wants and boldly stride forward to get it, and to want very different things than she really does. It’s also unlikely she would have still really expected to stick with Dipper forever the way Stan seems to have really expected to do with Ford, because while she might run an out-of-home business for some extra money like Caryn did, the expectation would have been that Dipper would go Do Something With His Life while she stayed in Glass Shard Beach and got married; if they were still joined at the hip as teenagers, their parents would probably have been Concerned about that and trying to discourage it well before scholarships became an issue. All of this, of course, could have led to the same emotionally repressed pressure-cooker kind of situation that the Stans eventually found themselves in, but even if Mabel had broken Dipper’s science fair project, the outcome would have probably been different. It would’ve been less likely for her to get kicked out, and more likely for home life to just become far, far worse until she married the first person who’d have her in order to escape, or at least ran away of (mostly) her own free will instead of because the family had disowned her. If she had still gotten kicked out, though, it might well have been harder for her to find workable options than it was for Stan – which is definitely saying something - unless, of course, it was easier for her to do so, because Mabel's not naturally inclined to scammery and thus could have ended up tied down working in a sewing plant for ten years instead of roaming the country at all. And, of course, the only way she could have used Dipper's reputation as "that mysterious science guy who lives in the woods" to her advantage after his disappearance would have involved dressing in drag for thirty years – or longer, even, since unless she was already dressing as a man, she wouldn’t have been mistaken for Dipper by chance, which meant she’d have had to think up the idea of stealing his identity and creating the Shack on her own instead of just running with it when the opportunity presented itself. Either way, very different dynamic with Dipper once he got back, I imagine, and that's before we get into all the ways Dipper isn't exactly like Ford and how that could have affected the story.

There also would have been a lot of differences in how the Stans were parented, too, most likely…but I’m drifting a bit from my point, which (I think) was that I think part of the reason Stan is able to get along better with Mabel might be in part because of the ways in which he doesn’t relate to her experience and does remember what his childhood was like. He sees a lot of Ford in Dipper, which I do think caused some subconscious Issues with resentment that even he couldn’t have articulated but which doubtless impacted their relationship, but also a lot of his younger self, as he tells Soos in the porch memory. Stan probably shares Ford’s offhand confidence that Mabel can fend for herself in the world, but he sees the potential for Dipper to end up beaten up by the world like he was, and possibly going mad because of it like he might have thought Ford did – of course, we don’t know that Stan ever thought of that, but based on the state of everything Ford left behind and his behavior on the night of their reunion, I find it…unlikely that the thought of “oh, God, not only did I go off on my brother and make him literally disappear into thin air, but this happened because I went off on him when the reason he was acting so weird was because he’d had a mental breakdown” never crossed Stan’s mind over all those years. Which…I’ll just quote myself from the Ford Essay:

The matter is more complex than [previous paragraph, not relevant here] in this case, however, due to the show's setting and the 'rules' which dictate how that setting 'works'. Bill and Ford’s relationship exists in the context of Gravity Falls, which takes place in a world where complex and especially disturbing ideas are often partially diluted through the filters of symbolism and substitution, as is done with the show's recurring theme of substance abuse metaphors. The portrayal of the relationship between Bill and Ford is mostly devoid of humor anyway, but if Bill was truly another man, or even much closer to humanoid, then what little there is due to his status as an over-the-top, magic-wielding triangle-thing would vanish. Since he is a magical, over-the-top triangle-thing, though, the only time that Bill is, for instance, visibly physically abusive toward Ford in something like the normal sense of the term is during the torture session in “Weirdmageddon III: Take Back the Falls," and even then, the fact that humans can’t electrocute each other simply by willing it takes at least some of the realism, and therefore at least some of the horror, off the edge of the situation. Before Weirdmageddon, though, Bill only appears in his own person as an incorporeal dream demon. Before that, he could only inflict physical harm on others by gaining control of the victim's body, all while his eyes appear in that person’s face to simultaneously remind the audience that the victim is not actually the one inflicting the damage. We find ourselves, therefore, in an ambivalent situation: clearly, Bill is engaging in physical abuse, but should we regard Bill another entity in the usual sense, as one independent actor who is choosing to abuse another independent actor, or is he better understood as a symbolic representation of some mental illness that might inspire Ford and Dipper both to self-harm? The answer is more or less ‘both,’ which means it can be passed off as ‘neither’ well enough to – just, and probably only in combination with Bill’s cartoonish, neon-sign appearance – avoid the censors.

I’ve previously written another mini-essay about how the first time I read the Journal, I assumed “coffee” was a euphemism for “meth, cocaine, or both,” not least because of how similar Ford’s behavior was to someone whose stimulant addiction had careened into at least temporary psychosis. Stan had some inkling of Weird Stuff being real even before he came to GF if we accept Lost Legends as canon, and he learned a great deal more pretty quickly, but given the kind of life he’d been leading before he got to town…I imagine the question had to cross his mind at some point. If it did, then that probably made him feel ten times worse than he already did about the situation, and probably about as much more worried about what would happen if Dipper didn’t learn that the only way for a man to make it through in the world was to be tougher than everyone else, to always be the person in the room who could hit the hardest and sublimate other emotions into aggression the most easily.

Another thing about his relationship with Dipper that I…think I might have first thought of in a long-ago comment thread with Theory. One of my very favorite episodes of the show is “Little Gift Shop of Horrors,” because it’s basically a twenty-one minute powerpoint on Stan’s psychology. On the surface of it, it looks like “Abaconings” is supposed to star Mabel as a stand-in for Stan himself and Dipper as a stand-in for Ford…but in the story, the character who actually abandons Mabel to pursue genius is Waddles, not Dipper. Dipper is the person who takes her place in Waddles’ life, not the person who leaves her life. What’s the closest thing anyone ever got to taking Stan’s place in Ford’s life? McGucket. Of course, at that point, Stan probably didn’t know that the person he’d have felt discarded in favor of was McGucket, but since the layout of the episodes means the showrunners had probably already decided that the Journal included references to Ford having a friend outside the family, then this means Stan had already read about it after copying J3 while Waddles was in the room. If he put together that the mysterious “F” was McGucket at some point, then he’s even more jealous of Fiddleford in the Weirdmageddon scene than my ramble about that scene already has him being. So…well, this is highly conjectural, since the Journal wasn’t published until after the episode had aired, but if Stan was on some level equating Dipper with “F”, then yikes, does he ever have messy feelings he doesn’t know how to deal with about the boy.

Then we go back to Mabel. Mabel is a girl, so it’s okay to be somewhat affectionate with her – the expectations for her are totally different, showing affection to women is permissible, and what does he know about how to teach someone how to be a woman? Zilch, nada, nothing. This means he can just interact with her without much of an agenda other than “make child like me so I am less lonely” while with Dipper, he’s still got the agenda of “make child like me so I am less lonely,” but it’s also muddled up with “turn child who reminds me of both me and my brother in ways that scare me into a Proper Man so the world doesn’t hurt him, because after I toughened up, it certainly never hurt me again, nope, I’m a very psychologically well-adjusted person” and also his feelings about smart people and how they screw everything up. And then, on top of all that, Dipper is, as you point out, the adventurer, the one who usually leads them into the trouble Stan’s constantly worried about them walking into. Last time someone he loved knew how weird this place was, look how that ended; definitely not something that would dispose him kindly toward Dipper’s refusal to ignore how weird the town was. He’s also a constant threat to Stan’s ongoing Project, sticking his nose into things at every occasion, even being willing to talk to a fed! Mabel is straightforward, Mabel is uncomplicated: Mabel acts like a child who poses no threat to him and brings back no ghosts he’d rather forget, like the kind of child Stan was, more or less, when his relationship with Ford worked, and is perfectly happy to engage in entirely harmless childish pursuits like making bad art, watching the television, and playing with water balloons with him. Dipper does some of this as well, but also has all that other baggage attached. This could put him on a constant emotional see-saw where Dipper is concerned, generally much to Dipper’s detriment. This also makes Dipper a constant challenge to his ‘need to be needed’ – as he says in “Stanchurian Candidate,” he wanted the twins to regard him as a hero even more than he wanted everyone else to do so, and Dipper is both highly independent already and then immediately latches onto Ford, which from Stan’s point of view might have been akin to them both announcing that Stan just wasn’t a necessary person and that they might be better off without him. To quote myself again, from a comment reply to user underground_lurker:

Just to survive as a young adult, Stan also had to pretty much develop a moral code that allowed for harming (identity theft isn't violent, but it's still definitely a form of harm) basically everyone he came into contact with - except for the tiny group he defined as "my family," which served as a motivator to do whatever else he needed to do, no matter how difficult or distasteful he might find it. He couldn't believe in or care enough about himself to push himself when the going got tough...but the Ford in his head, the one I think he was addressing when he talked to Journal One in "Scaryoke" and probably for a long time before it, that guy was worth doing something for. Then, when Real Ford epically disappointed him after his return, Dipper and Mabel - both them and his ideas of them - were still worth doing something for. That's why I think he was able to so casually dismiss the impending death of his own personality during the finale as "eh, not like I was doing much with this space anyway." Mental Ford had been replaced by Real Ford, who didn't even want rescuing and who talked back and thought of things to say that Stan never could have predicted, and either the summer or the world was about to end, which meant the twins didn't/soon wouldn't need him anymore, either. Aside, of course, from the extent to which Dipper had already established that he no longer needed Stan anyway, what with Stan realizing he'd badly mishandled Dipper after "Dreamscaperers" and Dipper being the town mystery solver after "Society of the Blind Eye" and Real Ford being in the picture after "Not What He Seems" and all. So why would he care that his mind was on fire? There was no one left who mattered to him to do anything for, which, for him, meant his existence was at best pointless and at worst actually detrimental to the world ("Dad was right about me, I really am a screw-up").

There’s nothing straightforward and uncomplicated at all in the relationship with Dipper, and thus, Stan repeatedly bungles said relationship, which leads to half the events of “Dreamscaperers” and the massive buildup of tension until almost the very last moment of NWHS and creates several layers of the show’s emotional complexity, I think. Also, note to self, add MBB to the list of people to copiously thank in the acknowledgments when/if I ever get the Stan Essay done.

[nightfall-1409]

like its ok to wish that hunter did more to get crosshair out but i will say PLEASE stop saying that rescuing the literal helpless child from the child murdering fascists was somehow wrong of Hunter.

also like. can we stop undermining the very clear and obvious way that crosshair liked the power that he was given in the empire, especially over others, he was radicalized. he convinced himself that the war crimes were justified in the name of power. that is a far bigger problem and something that is going to haunt him far longer and requires a lot more to undo and forgive (and some people will never and should never do that, and others can't bc they are Dead)

to say it was all the effects of the chips, at this point in the series, its just not true. the events of aftermath specifically are 100% the chip. Everything after that is up for debate. We don't know when it was taken out, but at some point it was, and crosshair's pov is that it doesn't matter when, bc he likes where he's at. Had he not been abandoned by the empire on Kamino for so long, I doubt he would have ever changed, had Cody not deserted after confronting him about what it was the clones were doing, I doubt he would have ever changed. Had he not been forced to see Mayday's struggle and fight to bring him home and still after everything they both gave after everything suffered mayday died not in battle but because someone couldn't be bothered to even try to help him, I don't think he would have changed. I don't think Hunter could talk him out of it, and maybe he didn't try hard enough, or really, at all. Crosshair's version of loyalty, though, is blind, unquestioning, a soldiers loyalty. Obeying what they were doing, things that Hunter couldn't obey, and would have made him a monster to do.

But I can't imagine the disgust I would be forced to contend with if like, my family member came forward like "oh yes we're built to be soldiers, that doesn't mean preserving or protecting innocents, It means power and killing those who get in my way. its my purpose in life and i think you're stupid for not getting over the moral objections" like what do you even say to that. Hunter at that point had SEEN what the empire was doing. They both had, their home planet, (and head canons aside, all clones did in fact, in canon, see it as their home.) orbitally bombarded to secure power. How do you talk someone out of that, if fundamentally what your disagreement is on the value of life. You don't. Hence Hunter's demands in S3E5 to know what changed. What finally made Crosshair realize what he believed, about power and his purpose, was wrong.

Crosshair didn't want out. Crosshair was upset they didn't stay. He saw their purpose as being with the Empire. They escaped and ran and deserted. If they weren't with him, in the Empire, then they should die, like the Jedi, and Crosshair did absolutely believe that.

So this is all to say that. they are not equally responsible for what happened to their squad. Crosshair didn't have a choice at first— but once he did keep running right over that line. And a lot of us hoped that he was lying about the chip, that he wasn't entirely responsible for all that he did. But he was. That's clear at this point.

Even the whole chip matter— it's prolly really hard for Hunter to separate it. logically, he knows it was partially the chip at this point. But at that point in the story he watched someone he was incredibly close to nearly kill them all and at the time he had no idea why. If Hunter'd not grabbed Omega by the leg and tripped her she would be shot dead. If omega hadn't surprised Crosshair by shooting his gun out of his hand he would have killed Hunter. He shot wrecker, to use him as bait against the rest of them? Like, again, we all knew about the chip, but I can understand the emotional toll of such a thing bc he DIDNT at the time. The betrayal in that moment? How do you let it go?

But thats all fine! its interesting its character development and its the story they were determined to tell. But like. we can be honest.

Now if someone thinks that im wrong i'd love to know what exactly hunter needs to be sorry about, and why he's equally responsible that doesn't like either downplay the war crimes and murder and doesn't throw Omega like directly into harms way and under the bus.

[gasps-inspanish]

I just had a thought that another nickname that Captain Crybaby could have given to Kyle was Mistofolees (like the character from the Cats Musical) because in the Musical Mistofolees is the one who brings the cats' leader back and Kyle was the one who brings the corps back

Granted, that's assuming your version of Hal would even know enough about theater to make that comparison.

Hehehe this made me giggle. I love this thank you for sharing!

My Hal might not know the reference on his own, but he likes to learn about his neices and nephews interests so he can talk to them about it, especially when they were younger so maybe he learned through one of them (we can blame Helen)!

I'm gonna add this to my Kyle nicnames list tbh. For those of you that don't know, in my fic Fear and What Follows, I mention that each Earth Green Lantern has a nickname because if multiple of them are on the same mission they can't all go by Green Lantern and useing their names would reveal their identites and i do NOT like how DC handles secret identies (WHY ARE THEY YELLING EAROTHERS NAMES IN THE STREETS????). It also based off of military nicknames, which you usually get for silly reasons.

Other names I was thinking of for Kyle's nickname were

Colors

because he's an artist! would've been given to him by Dinah while he is on the League instead of Hal and just something that everyone calls him before the id reveal, and is also a cool nod to him becoming a White Lantern later!

Pretty Boy

bc he's a pretty boy! not much to say here!

Rat

he's my rat guys. and alley and his ring and- didn't end up useing it because Sinestro calls him ally rat.

Gromit

my friends idea! Bc he fights with Wally a lot (before they become friends ofc) and Wally is Wallace so Kyle gets to be Gromit. He's gonna be jokingly called this in my au but its not like an official nickname

Four

the fourth green lantern! Originally in my au they were gonna be differentiated by number but the nicknames are cooler and sillier

Spaceboy

he was gonna get this one from Donna and it would just kinda stick.

Trouble

This was the top contender because he is a trouble magnet! Went with Torchie in the end, but i got to use Trouble in a different Au so im happy bc I really like this one!

Guy was gonna be Souless (because he's a red head) before I went with One Hit and Hal was almost Highball (his airforce call sign) or Captian Weepy (the double C sounded better so I changed it), but everyone else I went with the first thoughts cz i did like them (Braincell for Jess, Vroom for Simon, Teeny Bopper/Teeny for Keli) but John it took me a long time to come up with Problem Child/pc. Still trying to think of Jo's (I rlly have to read far sector i'm a failure).

Thank you for reading and for your ask!

[fabdante]

Do you think reboot Dante is like. A good/healthy choice as a boyfriend, or...?

Maybe I should rephrase that: In what ways is reboot Dante messed up as a partner, and in what ways is he good? Like, what type of person/personality would he best get along with, in a relationship?

i think it depends a lot on the time period in which you are with him asdfghjk

in addition to swan song, i'd wanted to write a story about dante from the period of moving to the trailer to like the start of the game and the central through line was the relationship he had with my gf's oc liz and their eventual break up because he's just...a hot mess of a person at the time (the two reconcile later and get back together post game)

i think one of the biggest issues to contend with when dating reboot dante is the fact he has a LOT of unaddressed trauma and unaddressed mental health issues, things he is very much ignoring and are very much not going away which make him fairly combative and fairly volatile as a person.

i think there's a lack of willingness in him to lean on others for anything, a stubborn sort of self reliance and self focus which makes it difficult i think to try and built a relationship with him because of that lack of willingness to like...work together i guess. like while independence and self sufficiency in a relationship is good, i think for him this goes a bit further then that and it'd be more like an unwillingness for any sort of help and what not, which can be difficult to deal with and also make it difficult to feel like you can in turn go to your partner for support or help. he's very stubborn i guess is what im getting at asdfghjk

i think there's also the lack of vulnerability. he struggles a lot with that and i think it causes a lot of problems for him in relationships. like his walls are very high, it's hard for him to trust, it's hard for him to reciprocate trust people might give to him. it's hard to get him to that point.

i think with reboot dante to we see a level of volatility and like anger issues which can translate to him being standoffish and occasionally meaner and harsher then intended, which go back to these last two points. because he lacks that willingness to ask for help and that willingness to be vulnerable so in that stubbornness i think he's less likely to come back to a partner and be like 'sorry i didn't mean x i actually think y' and yada yada. i think it kind of ties back to the idea also of like when you haven't been treated well, if someone's trying to be nice to you, you might still lash out anyway when confronted with affection.

which then all ties back into the mental health issues and his self image and self destructive tendencies. i think he's the type to blow up a good thing because he's worried it's too good for him, or because he's scared of fucking up so he'll just fuck it up now, or just the simple fact that being vulnerable and trusting someone and having a level of commitment to anything is scary. i think he often also thinks people generally will lose interest in him, or figure out that he's kinda shitty and leave. so it's easier to push other people away and not do those things and not face the feeling of rejected and abandoned, rather creating a sense of control over the situation. which then just only further cements these ideas he has about himself.

commitment issues are another issue. my read of dante, particularly before he addresses any of these things, does have some commitment issues asdfghjk sometimes this is because he reads relationships as less serious then his partner might, sometimes this is out of self destruction, sometimes it's a way to spite a partner, etc. like which like i don't think he cheats on all his partners but at least pre game dante has done that it is a possibility of things he might do.

on the flip side i do think he's got a lot of good attributes.

i do think, once you get him there, he is a fiercely loyal person. we see this in both preboot and reboot. once you've become one of his people he's going to fight tooth and nail for you. he's a scary dog boyfriend to me in this way. you get scary dog privilege with him asdfghjk

i think he's good at listening. he doesn't need to talk about his issues when you're talking about yours. i think he's quite attentive as a listener to like he remembers what you tell him. he's curious to like he wants to know things about you and what not. and again he's going to remember the things you tell him.

which i think lends to him being thoughtful in his own way at times. like he's not going to be very upfront about feelings (vulnerable is scary) but i think he will show that thoughtfulness through actions. like because he's remembering what you tell him he's aware of that food you had that one time that reminds you of a specific comfy childhood memory or whatever and like your sad now so he's going to go across town to get it type of thing. you like a movie he's going to watch the movie. also i mean the classic reboot dante activity: pier dates where he's either cheating the games to get prizes or when the piers shut down and he's turning on the rides anyway dfghjkl

i think he'd be good at comforting someone. i'm not sure how to justify that one asdfghj but i can imagine him caring for a partner whos upset about something and doing his best to comfort them there.

he's also just fun i think. he's goofy. he's silly. he's probably great at spontaneous broke dates. he doesn't take things very seriously which can be a con but ALSO a massive pro! like i think when he's having a good day and he's in a good mood he's probably just delightful, the energy is probably great and it's hard to not get in the spirit of things.

i also think that like he's always the type to be very boastful about a partner doing something. their accomplishments are important kind of thing.

now, naturally, i think in the post game we see a lot more of these positives and we see him working on some of these negatives.

i imagine in the post game he's trying to be more direct about his feelings and being more vulnerable, though he still hates the vulnerability. i think he's probably starting to learn he doesn't have to do things alone, though that one is going to be an uphill battle along with his declaration that he's protecting humanity now (the realization that he needs help to do that vs wanting to do it on his own and keep everyone out of what he considers his problem to fix) i think having such a parallel in kat, there's a lot of growing the two of them can do (Dante with these sorts of issues and Kat with the trauma of everything that happened and Vergil's abandonment)

i think just generally feeling like he has a purpose and the weight of limbo and feeling like it's going to kill him young probably helps?

as for what sort of partner i think meshes well with that like...i think he needs someone who's patient, someone who see's there's something under his bravado and his stubbornness and everything. and someone who stands their ground against him when he's in a mood or what not, someone who's willing to go against that stubbornness when it's not serving him. i think to he needs someone who communicates feelings in a way he understands. like someone in tune with their own emotions and is able to express those feelings to him is great, but in addition to that i think they need to also be able to communicate that through actions because i think he understands it better that way. he also needs someone he can joke around with. someone who's willing to play around with him like he's going to play around with them. i think he too admires loyalty and trust, so those i think would be really important to him.

those are my thoughts anyway asdfghjk

[littlesparklight]

Twenty Questions: Writing Edition

20 questions, Writing Edition

tagged by: @beyondgrayskies 💕

How many works do you have on AO3? 290! If I'd go find and add some of my old FFVII stuff there'd be a couple more, though not up to 300.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Star Wars fics all: 1. Where Our Intrepid Hero Doesn't Get Away - (My bigass collection of mostly one-shots of Vader snagging his son) 2. Sun in Chains 3. The Unconquered Sun - (Previous and this one are part of the same Luke&Vader series) 4. Consequences 5. Imperial Internship - (Same for these two, a different Luke&Vader series.)

What fandoms do you write for? Right now? Greek Mythology/The Trojan war only! In the past, there's been Star Wars, Carmilla, Sailor Moon, Transformers (Dreamwave and Shattered Glass), Moonlight Garden for a selection.

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I try to answer most of them! It's nice to get them and I want to show I saw them! And thank people for leaving a comment, you know?

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Uh, hmm... Man, I don't know. This is a Torch-Song, perhaps? The Best of All Possible Worlds is also probably a good contender. Oh, and Murder at Thymbra, definitely. That might be the winner?

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Lol, again, hard to know. I like to end things on an upwards note, at the very least! Perhaps Flowers on the Hills of Heraklion?

Do you get hate on fics? Not really. The closest that might count - and I do think it counts - was someone who read one of my very obviously not negative Zeus/Ganymede ship fics, left an annoying comment and then tried to backpedal about how they must've commented on the wrong fic when I pushed back. (Maybe they really did. I don't really believe that, though.)

Do you write smut? Yes, lmao. If I remember right I've written basically... M-level for one of my old FFVII fics, but aside from that, I first wrote full on smut in TF fics... and since I don't like sticky/that doesn't interest me in TF smut, that mostly meant spark sex or plug-and-play. So really, it wasn't until I threw myself into Greek myth that I started to write human sex smut fic.

Do you write crossovers? Not really. I have an old crossover fic between From Eroica With Love and Hetalia, plus a Greek myth fic that crosses over with some other mythologies, but that's it.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Don't think I have, no.

Have you ever had a fic translated? I've at least had several requests (that I've all agreed to) about translation when it comes to Where Our Intrepid Hero Doesn't Get Away, but I don't know if anything ever came of those!

Have you ever co-written a fic before? Nope!

What's your all-time favourite ship? I don't think I can answer that, haha. I love all my favourite ships from the fandoms they're from! Can't exactly pit them against each other, they're not the same even if a lot of them share traits in what parts of my id they scratch! But uh, to say SOMETHING... Luke & Vader, since I've been twice in SW fandom and I kinda do hope I end up back there again; Zeus/Ganymede and Menelaos/Paris.

What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? ... I suppose that would be Imperial Internship. It's all plotted out, you understand, and I have once or twice opened the file to look over said outline with the vague thought of Maybe. But every time I've done so the idea to write out all that, even if it is all important/relevant just exhausts me.

What are your writing strengths? Uh... hm... Narrative description, maybe? Word-choice in prose? Idk. I feel I'm good at plotting out longfics now, too, to keep a good pacing and get where I want to go with a fic and the characters.

What are your writing weaknesses? No idea, really? I don't struggle especially with any part of writing in particular. But I guess I can get really wordy (which is the opposite problem to the one I had back in the day lol) which might not always be necessary or good or fitting for the fic in question.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic? Like, whole lines of dialogue? No, thank you. I mean, I guess I don't mind when I'm reading and the writer has a translation somewhere, but also, I don't see the point. I'd prefer some way to just indicate it's in a different language than actually writing the relevant bit of dialogue in it.

First fandom your wrote for? Should be Yu-Gi-Oh, I think. Or perhaps Star Wars, since I was RPing with my cousin before I ever ended up on the Internet.

Favourite fic you've ever written? What a question to ask! How am I supposed to choose between my children! I'm just gonna pick a few from different fandoms, I think:

Star Wars: Where Our Intrepid Hero Doesn't Get Away - Definitely cheating considering it's a collection of one-shots, but I don't care. :) Vader capturing Luke, my favourite trope!! Transformers: On the Edge of Extinction - third in my "finish the plot Dreamwave" fic series. I'm really fond of the last part (Cycles of Oppression), too, but when the last scene of a fic sticks with you to the point I go back and re-read that little bit again and again through the years, I think said fic then deserves the nomination lol Greek myth: Flowers on the Hills of Heraklion OR The Illusion of Meaning to This Cruelty. So far, anyway, I might change my mind later, there's more fics to come, after all!

tagging: @windona @scribeprotra @andromedaprime @gingermintpepper ... and whoever else who writes fic and want to do this?

[thespineoftherighteous]

about the choking scene, it really is the damn kevin of it all that I hate about it😭but not because I like kevin as a character (I do, but that's not the point) but more because I personally hate the idea where its like you can only have the one person youre in a romantic relationship with important to you and evrything else comes second and fandoms push that a lot, though I expected something different from a fandom that probably has more ace/aro ppl than others, other types of relationships can be just as important and I think it would be nice for characters who have been lonely for so long to have a few people who are important to them 😭I think it's like you said where I don't like when other relationships get butchered for the romantic one, I don't think it was ooc, and even if it was, people do things in desperate situations that are ooc so that wouldn't be a problem, it's that a lot of readers make it this romantic thing or a thing where Andrews prioritised neil over kevin, or has picked neil over kevin and they do the same thing with aaron too, it's like can't andrew love and care about his brother and boyfriend and kevin at the same time😭does it have to be a competition? Love can't even be quantified so a competition would be stupid anyway

I just think I hate the way a lot of people talk about it and I wanted to discuss it with a person whose posts are more objective and that I like, like it's such a tricky scene to think about, it's like the wires get crossed in my head its a hard scene to contend with in general

omg yeah basically everything you've said here is how I feel about it. a lot of people say that Andrew's relationship with Neil is more significant and just means more than any of Andrew's other relationships because of how Neil you know. gets him I guess. but honestly even though I fully understand that his relationship with Neil is on a different level, I still hate the ditching of Kevin (AND AARON UGH I HATE HOW THE TWINS LITERALLY CHOSE THEIR S/O'S OVER EACH OTHER. it's completely understandable in context and it is way more in character than the opposite would've been but still. I hate it) and I think people also tend to like. baby Andrew when it comes to his relationship with Kevin like "well if Kevin treated him better and understood him better then mAYBE—"

but yeah the thing that makes me most uncomfortable about the choking bit is like you said how people try to make it romantic. which, to be honest, is I think how it's supposed to be taken like it's supposed to be showing Andrew's desperation and how far he's willing to go for Neil. I just. well. I despise that Kevin was the one that had to be used to demonstrate that. but the whole thing is that, because that's Kevin, it's the only way to show the magnitude of Andrew's frustration, like it wouldn't have been the same if he'd just trashed the hotel room in rage or something but I still hate that he overstepped their boundaries for it because me personally I'm thinking about Kevin when I read that scene, not Andrew and Neil.

that whole thing just uses how important Kevin is to Andrew to show how much more important Neil now is. so if you're mostly about the romance in these books, which I think a lot of fans are, then ofc you'll eat that up but personally the non romantic pairings always are more interesting and dearer to me so I think that's why it bothers me

[burningdarkfire]

nearly just hit the unfollow button instead of the ask button . N, R, & U?

awww thank you for the ask (and not unfollowing!) 💕

N - Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice)

N really is my lucky letter because i've gotten it three times thus far so your theme is going to be really specific wants i have about my little guy caleb widogast:

moooore blumendrei; the wizards definitely do have a small and loyal fanbase that i am very happy to be a part of, and also this fanbase is always welcoming new blood 🤗 i think caleb as a character is haunted so much by his past, it's odd to me that so many of his fans don't contend much with it directly

caleb actually being a middle-aged man and everything that entails; i don't think the fandom is really that bad about randomly twink-ifying him or anything, but i do feel like we could often be a little more specific in describing his body, and also i feel like hardly anybody ever deals with what it must feel like to finally have a life again for the first time since you were 17 and now you're like 34. i mean happens to all of us but i do want to read more of it

shadowgast breakup taken seriously; this is very specific because i was spinning ideas for it today but i really do want to read a fic where caleb and essek break up on purpose and it is not actually a grand misunderstanding where if only they had clarified that they still love each other it would all be fixed!

R - Which friendship/platonic relationship is your favorite in fandom?

my hobby is staying up late blurring the already non-existent line between platonic/romantic/sexual relationships so i don't have a real answer for this! and tbh the more i think about it, the more i realize that there are very few "strictly platonic" relationships in critrole that compel me - it's often the mess that makes them attractive

outside critrole my default answer would probably be campal from the locked tomb series, but i would go on record saying that they're the ideal platonic relationship and i think they become very slightly more interesting if we assume there was a sexual component involved

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites

well we all know who number one is going to be

caleb widogast; you were not born with venom in your veins, you learned it!! you learned it!!!!! it's actually almost ridiculous to look back in time at the person i was four years ago before i knew that this fictional character was going to save me. i was a shitty teenager and i hurt a lot of people and i'm going to carry that with me forever! but also maybe there is still a life for me even after all of that! and also he has beautiful hair and unmatched hubris

iron man; i've been casually dipping back into the mcu so thinking about him again and unsurprisingly i'm also here for the unrelenting guilt and incalculable hubris (with bonus daddy issues!) but part of what i like about tony stark so much is that he takes all of his personal problems and makes it the whole world's problems. the whole universe's problems. and i just think that's fascinating

cersei lannister; every single hotd thought i've had this year has inched me ever so slightly closer to reading got again, because sometimes i'm reading fic about women in horrible situationships and thinking about how i could just be reading about cersei instead. like unfortunately tywin lannister's trueborn son and heir was born a girl and she proceeded to make that everybody else's problem as well, and in this way, we are sisters

(send me an alphabet fandom ask!)

[fauxfickle]

"Keep every part working as best as possible.

We don't want "them" breaking free"

Been a while since I drew traditionally. I actually really like how this turned out! Maybe I'm getting better?! I also got a better pen which makes it all look a lot more crisp.

Anyways, onto the self indulgent ramblings. I thought of a fnaf fangame idea while at work. The hypothetical game would take place between 1983 - 1987, immediately after the bite of 83 and right before the toys are created. You would play the part of a technician sent in to replace the Fredbear and Bonnie animatronic with the new Fazbear band. Due to Freddy and the gang being put together very quickly and cheaply, they would quickly deteriorate and become prone to mechanical problems. Your job would be to come in during the night and fix whatever had to be fixed. Be it repainting the masks, changing out old pneumatic cylinders, lathing new parts, reprogramming song segments, etc.

While all this is happening you would have to contend with the spirits trying to break out of the machinery and cause problems.

[gwenllian-in-the-abbey]

What’s the most chaotic pairing in a song of ice and fire you can think of and why?

Okay this is a fun ask and I really had to think about it and ask myself, are they chaotic, or just two of the most terrible people I can think of, shoved together. Like, anything involving Euron Greyjoy is an obvious contender but the problem is, you pair him with practically anyone and either that person just ends up in some sort of sexual slavery salt-wife type situation or their more flexible morality makes them end up as the accessory to multiple heinous crimes. Although I do think Euron/Ramsay are each so terrible on their own that they're worthy of consideration for a chaotic evil type pairing. Ultimately, however, I decided to focus on the potential for mischief rather than the potential for awful. So if we're talking just original asoiaf, then maybe Margaery Tyrell/Asha Greyjoy. This is maybe not the most chaotic pairing I can come up with, but I do think they'd get up to a lot of hijinks together. Very high on the mischief scale. For instance, they could gaslight Cersei by moving her wineglasses when she wasn't looking and then telling her they've been in the same place all along. They could possibly convince Tommen to name a cat his lawful successor, really putting the whole "the king has the right to choose his own heir" thing to the test. And you might say well Margaery could do these things on her own but I think this is where Asha's experience as Theon's sister would come in handy. Her gentle bullying could really provoke Margaery into taking more risks than she might otherwise take. Maybe they could push Cersei out a window together and become Tommen's regents until it's time for the cat to inherit. And as a bonus, if Margaery needed to flee King's Landing after the murder, Asha has ships and may end up Balon's heir, so really there are several options open to them. While it might take Margaery awhile to adjust to life on the high seas, I have faith that she could do it. I checked and this ship actually has 30 fics on AO3 so while it is a niche pairing, others have clearly had the same idea. If we're transcending space and time, as a runner up I think in a world where Cersei Lannister and Daemon Targaryen don't succeed in murdering each other within the first six months of marriage they could possibly bring down entire continents through sheer mismanagement, which would be extremely funny to watch as an uninvolved bystander.

[erosathelstan]

WARNING: Spoilers for Act 3

I don't really have much BG3 friends irl and I have a lot of thoughts that I cannot put into proper writing yet so I'll just post it here:

As much as I love the idea of giving Astarion an item that allows him to walk in the sun (my durge also does that, bcs in my headcanon the "Sunwalker's Gift" is the perfect item to do just that) I just want to talk about one other thing that Astarion mentions about being a vampire that I don't see a lot of people posting about: the aspect of hunger.

In one of his conversations with a Dark Urge PC, he mentions being unable to speak and think clearly when he wasn't able to feed for a long time because the hunger deprives him of reason. During one of the post-Cazador dialogues, too (if you kill Cazador without him, regardless if you're DU or Tav) he talks about being condemned to an eternity of hunger without being able to make a choice about it. Freedom to choose and consent is a major theme in Astarion's story, and with Cazador gone, that hunger then becomes the primary contender for his ability to choose for himself, because that hunger can literally rob him of reason when left unchecked.

Yes, he's also a murder hobo and wouldn't even blink twice if he had to kill someone, especially if it's for the sake of keeping himself safe and well-fed. At the moment, considering that our Tav/Durge is also a willing Personal Juicebox™ for his twink ass, then the guy is pretty much food secure. However, I don't think that later on in their relationship, he'd be comfortable with continuing that arrangement with their partner - whether it's due to old age/sickness on Tav's part, or some sort of self-realization that we can all only headcanon about. Him hunting down criminals/vagrants/random strangers also inadvertently puts Tav and whatever home they've made in danger, as someone at some point will want to hunt the vampire that killed their friend/family/workmate/what-have-you. Idk maybe some mofo with a strong sense of justice will also eventually go after his ass because he's a total menace to society.

Fighting is not a problem, or at least at first. Tav can fight. Tav literally led the group into fucking up an Elder Brain ffs, so what's a couple of vampire hunters and/or vengeful band of misfits, amiryt? But again, it will be kinda tiring to have to always be on guard, because someone might just kill you and the love of your life because you fed on someone else's. Also, again, he can fight for as long as he needs to, but what about Tav? Esp if our Tavs are not from long-lived races.

Part of getting Astarion's life back has to not only include making him able to stand in the sun again, but also ridding him of that hunger. Vampiric hunger can be an all-consuming thing that could put both him and his lover in significant danger. Whether he as a character would want to address this is a matter of our personal interpretations as fans/writers/artists, but I personally want to see more of this aspect of his vampirism being explored in fan works.

Anyway, I have said too many words. Maybe I need to finally give in and go hunting in Ao3 for this type of content. But for now, I slep 🙃