#is the one with b in speedos

[catacoves]

dc’s swimsuit covers this year is a whitewash competition

[cowboyjen68]

any advice on butch fashion during the summer months? im down in florida where its summer 24/7 and i have no clue what to wear!! hope you're having a lovely day, jen. love your blog <3

I am a fan of old guy fashion and hiker's fashion combined. Estate sales are great places to check out light weight, short sleeved pattern shirts that are well kept and were pricey when new. Wrangler makes a lot of very nice short sleeve dress shirts and many are light weight and not the heavy cotton.

I am a cargo pants wearer and my shorts are no different. They water proof light material is nicer than the heavy cotton or canvas work shorts. Wrangler cargo pants, NOT the riggs are light weight, dry fast and hold up to my work schedule for about one season so they will last average wearers much longer.

Hanes tagless undershirts are great to replace a bra or sports bra if you are size c cup or smaller. They have tighter arm pits so my ladies stay safe and don't make a showing when Id rather they didn't. ( I am a B cup).

For swimwear I wear a traditional speedo one piece because they are comfortable and fit well then a pair of Eddie Bauer swim trunks with a draw string over them. (do NOT forget to take your phone out of the pocket before getting in the water). The pockets all zip so anything that is water proof (like your hotel key) can be kept with while you swim and they protect the butt of your suit from wear and tear when sitting on a dock.

[smellystars]

Storm Warning

You’ve finally made it, after a years of hard work you and your boyfriend Lucas have saved enough to take a vacation to Miami.

You were so excited to finally take a break and relax with your handsome boyfriend. The best part is that you are always going to be outside so you don’t have to worry about Lucas’s constant powerful gas. When you both started to become serious you went through the normal stages but one thing that Lucas always avoided was farting in front of you. You never really thought about it, you let rip in front of him and he would laugh and say, “hahaha good one”. You thought that maybe he didn’t feel comfortable enough but that was wrong, “my gas can be uhhh kinda strong” Lucas said nervously. You insisted that you could take it and that he had nothing to worry about. He begrudging accepted what you said and let one rip. A stream of gas 40 seconds long excited his ass

BRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT

You fell to the ground from the shaking caused by his gas. The smell filling your apartment in an instant. Furniture, cabinets and loose objects shaking and moving. “Ahhhhhhh not too bad for a small one right?” Lucas says while looking at you nervously. You pick yourself up, “oh it’s not that bad, wow you weren’t kidding about them being strong huh?” You both laugh and from then on he would give you a warning before letting rip so you could prepare yourself but most of the time just let rip after work for an hour so nothing would get damaged.

You sit on the beach soaking in the sun as Lucas runs right in front of you wearing a blue, white speedo. You can’t help but just stare at your boyfriend well trained body. While staring you hear a loud groan, “oh I’ll be right back babe.” Is all you hear as Lucas runs down the beach in the opposite direction. You wonder what that was about but remember that sushi he had ate before coming to the beach and started to worry about the effects that would have on Lucas.

You don’t have to wait as you feel the ground shaking, and then hear an extremely loud deafening sound

BBRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBBLLOOOOOPPPPSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH

Sand castle topple, beach towels, bags and umbrella are sent flying all the way to the other side of the beach. Gale force winds hit you and everyone else in the line of fire. Some people get blown down the beach other dig their feet into the sand to try and make their way to one of the buildings lining the beach. a literal sandstorm created as a result of Lucas’s destructive gas. The smell of a gas station bathroom spreading across the beach and surrounding area that not even the outdoors could dissipate. As the fart keeps going for 5 mins there was a pause. You wipe the sand from your face and make a b-line for where Lucas should be. You find him on all fours panting from the extreme amount of gas that just exited him.

“LUCAS ARE YOU OKAY?” you yelled as your ears were still ringing. “Yeah sorry babe I didn’t know it would be this bad”Lucas says while panting a brownish haze now all over the beach, some people unconscious and those who weren’t are uncontrollably coughing.

“Well at least it’s over. Let’s………” you were interrupted as Lucas stomach gurgles again. You yell, “GET INSIDE, GET EVERYONE OFF THE BEACH”. The beach goers scramble grabbing those unconscious and running inside of the closest buildings. Lucas then gets up and runs towards the sea and starts to swim a bit out. You follow him swimming behind him watching each glistening wet cheeks move with each stroke. Once a bit out Lucas floats with his back facing you, he hold his stomach and tells you to get in front of him. You listen and swim to front of him and hold him by the side. He looks at you and says “I’m sorry”. In an instant the area around you was turned into a hot tub, bubbles rising constantly not being able to see into the water. Fish start to rise from the depths dead and then you hear Lucas grunt.

BBRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBBLLLLOOOOOPPPPHHHHHHHTTTTTTTT-VVRRRRRRRRRRRBBBBBBBBBBBTTTTTTTTT-FFFFFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRRBBBBBTTTTTTTPPPPPPPPSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHH

A giant wave is formed behind Lucas, as big as a tsunami. The wave makes way towards the beach hitting land and destroying the buildings along the beach and making its way into the city a bit destroying the closest buildings to the beach and spraying smelly water halfway ingot the city. You look at Lucas“Whew I feel so much better” he says as you both look at the destruction left in his gassy wake.

[gallifreyinstituteforlearning]

does all the information on here have actual sources or is some of it ur own creation?

Does all the information here have sources?

Yep! Nothing is pulled out of thin air; it’s all rooted in genuine Doctor Who lore. Some of it is speculative with some creative license because it has to be, but everything is firmly based on established canon. I always prioritise canonical responses and specify when I’m being more theoretical.

🧠 How each area is approached ...

🗣️Language: The Gallifreyan language is a conlang, but whenever there’s a real word or concept in Doctor Who lore, I'll provide that first. I always specify when I have to default to the conlang if I can't provide canonical answers.

📅 Friday Facts: These are always hard, real facts, and I always provide a source.

🧬 Biology: I work in medicine, so this is my special interest. It's more comprehensively constructed than any other area. It bases itself on almost every mention of Gallifreyan and Time Lord biology in any medium, supported by anatomical textbooks, online medical databases, and multiple learning resources. All sources are cross-referenced and analysed, ensuring that the biological systems are both true to Doctor Who lore and scientifically rationalised.

💭 Hypothetical Questions: For random questions like "How do Gallifreyans view balloon animals?" or "Do Gallifreyans wear Speedos?" where there's literally no information at all in lore and probably never will be, I use known facts about Gallifreyan society and biology to create the most plausible answers (and before you ask, it's a personal preference for Speedos and balloon animals are just plain weird not matter what planet you're on).

📚 The sources used include ...

My Brain

Rassilon, Omega, and That Other Guy x (information found here is located in the original source and checked)

TARDIS Wiki x (information found here is located in the original source and checked)

Tardis Technical Index x

Parkin, L. and Pearson, L., 2018. Ahistory: An Unauthorized History of the Doctor Who Universe. Volumes 1-3. 4th ed. Mad Norwegian Press. x x x

Reference Guide x

Discontinuity Guide x

Chrissie’s Transcripts x

Standring, S. 2020. Gray’s Anatomy: The Anatomical Basis of Clinical Practice. Gray’s Anatomy. x

Tortora, G. and Derrickson, B., 2017. Tortora's Principles of anatomy & physiology. 15th ed. Wiley. x

Waugh, A. and Grant, A., 2018. Ross & Wilson anatomy and physiology in health and illness. 13th ed. Edinburgh: Elsevier. x

BMJ Best Practice x

British National Formulary (BNF) x

ClinicalKey x

NICE x

Skills for Health x

Osmosis from Elsevier x

Oxford Medical Handbooks x

Patient for Medical Professional x

You can find the source list for canonical references at the bottom of every post, including this one.

It's currently moving along with the anatomy guide, so right now, it's only focused on biology and is a WIP. This source list extracts and examines the relevant information in the DW EU directly from the primary source to help support anatomical concepts. Each extract is contextually checked. It's all ridiculously academic.

🔍 Then there's the evidence hierarchy ...

Because Doctor Who is such a ridiculous universe with a million conflicting sources, I use an evidence hierarchy to harmonise and prioritise information. The highest priority is at the top:

TV Show: Classic and New series are of joint importance, including animations and info on lost episodes. Any conflicts are sorted on a case-by-case basis.

Spin-offs and Extended Broadcast Media: Full spin-off series (Torchwood, SJA, Class, etc.), BBC-produced minisodes, animations, cartoons, trailers, and charity broadcasts.

BBC Books/Audio: BBC-produced main book ranges, audios, and comics.

Big Finish: Main ranges, crossovers, spin-offs. Excludes alternate universe stories like Doctor Who Unbound and Death Comes to Time.

Other BBC-Licensed Material: Books, audios, comics, and board games. Includes Virgin New Adventures, IDW and Titan ranges, and other BBC-licensed content, plus anything that got deleted from above.

Proximal Sources: Production team comments and other relevant but less reliable sources.

At any point, the answers I give could be invalidated by new releases, but at the time of posting, they’re the most likely and detailed responses you could get. I would absolutely detail every source on Tumblr if I could, but I just don't have the time because unfortunately, this isn’t my full-time job 😭 However, the Anatomy and Physiology Guide will be fully referenced when released.

🎉 So, what's GIL all about?

Essentially, GIL is designed to be a kind of information point where you can ask the weirdest, dumbest, and most intriguing questions and I'll try my best to provide accurate and comprehensive answers that align most with established lore. As mentioned, I specialise particularly in Gallifreyan biology, but I'll take pretty much anything.

Why? I have no idea. Help me.

Any purple text is educated guesswork or theoretical. More content ... →📫Got a question? | 📚Complete list of Q+A and factoids →😆Jokes |🩻Biology |🗨️Language |🕰️Throwbacks |🤓Facts →🫀Gallifreyan Anatomy and Physiology Guide (pending) →⚕️Gallifreyan Emergency Medicine Guides →📝Source list (WIP) →📜Masterpost If you're finding your happy place in this part of the internet, feel free to buy a coffee to help keep our exhausted human conscious. She works full-time in medicine and is so very tired 😴

[girlwiththeobsessions]

love sick c. f.

this book has also been published on wattpad. same username as the one on here. i update faster on there.

you and conrad had a secret relationship two summers ago, when you were 15 and he was 16. you broke up with him because your younger sister, belly had liked him, and you were afraid of hurting her. now, flash forward, you were 17, and you thought you had gotten over him, but maybe you haven’t

you are adopted in this! y/n's parents were close with the fishers and conklins but died in a car accident, so laurel adopts y/n

part 2

i. the drive

ME AND MY FAMILY have been coming to cousins since i was a baby, since before i was born.

the tradition was, me and my mom would go to the summer beach house in cousins, along with my moms friends, laurel park and susannah fisher, and laurel's daughter and son, and susannah's two sons.

the beach house felt magical, every summer, i couldn't wait to return each summer.

most of the time, me and belly would tag along with the moms, mostly just my mom.

my mom would take us shopping a lot, and get us frozen yogurt after, then we'd go swimming.

laurel and susannah didn't really like to swim with us. that's what made my mom so special. until both of my parents died. when i was seven. in a car crash.

my parents were my whole world. i miss them everyday.

after that happened, i had to move from north carolina to pennsylvania with the conklin's.

from what i remember, i was pretty shut down for the next two years, and sad all the time, but eventually i got better.

laurel had taken me in with her, john, steven, and belly, and i had my last name changed to l/n-conklin.

i had found hobbies to cope with my parents death. in sixth grade, i had taken up soccer. in eighth grade, i started volleyball. now, as a junior, i was on my schools soccer and volleyball team.

i was pretty smart too, academically. with my grades averaging with a's and b's since freshman year. i wanted to go to college, my dream school was university of southern california, usc.

today though, was the day i returned to cousins for the summer, of course, i was excited. i was in belly's room, packing, with taylor jewel, me and belly were both close friends with her.

"drew's bummed you're missing the beach match with the boys team next weekend." taylor told belly, laying down on the bed, on her phone.

belly turned around. "uh, make sure tell sophie to square up for the block." belly tells taylor, ignoring what she said.

"drew martinez is texting me about you, and you're talking about volleyball?" taylor said with a surprised expression.

"drew doesn't care if i'm there or not, he wants an excuse to text you." belly denied, not really acknowledging the fact that she had a glow up basically. "and you better take this game seriously, i mean, team pride is on the line, taylor."

"please, you know me better than that." taylor looked up. "i would never let a boy beat me at anything."

belly and i laughed. "i thought you came here to help us pack." belly smiled.

"fine.." taylor got up. "i'll help. here's a tip, don't bring that speedo. it doesn't do a thing for your new boobs." taylor said with a a laugh, sitting on belly's bed, flipping through a magazine.

"it's not a speedo." belly defended with a frown looking down at the swimsuit.

"yes it is." i intervene, looking at my phone.

"we're just saying babes, like you need to pack cute things." taylor says flipping a page in the magazine she's reading.

"well, i always buy a new suit when i get there." belly tells us with a smile.

"okay, well, buy one that doesn't look like you're trying out for the swim team." i pressed.

"are you serious y/n?" belly giggled, flopping onto the bed and launching herself onto me.

"girls! were leaving in the next 10 minutes!" laurel shouted from downstairs.

"we got to go." belly said with a frown.

"no, we don't, we still have 10 minutes!" i told the two of them with a smirk.

we started laughing again, but once it stopped, we sat on the bed, belly on the floor, taylor switching to a more serious tone.

"okay, before i let you both go you both have to tell me your summer wishes. like the one thing that you guys want to happen this summer."

"i don't know." belly took a deep sigh.

"you little liar, yes you do." taylor giggled at belly.

"you want a hot make out sesh with conrad fisher, you want his tongue in your mouth, you dirty little slut!" taylor joked.

i shifted uncomfortably, trying to plaster a laugh. "taylor! ew."

"i'm just saying, i mean, you've been in love with him since we were twelve." taylor reminded her as belly got up.

"it doesn't matter what i do, he doesn't see me that way." belly frowned.

"oh, he'll see you." i looked at belly up and down. "whether he wants to or not. you look a lot different than last summer, belly."

taylor laughed, then turned to me. "what about you, y/n?"

i looked away. "what about me?"

"your summer wish." taylor reminded me.

"i don't know yet." i sighed. "i guess go to a lot of parties, and make more friends."

"no boyfriend? no fling?" taylor asked, a little confused. "come on y/n, a whole summer on the beach? no nothing?"

"oh wow, big deal, a seventeen year old that doesn't care about a boyfriend." i sighed again. "i guess i've never really been that interested in getting a boyfriend." i shrugged. "i have other priorities."

i did. i applied for a job as a lifeguard at the country club, to get some money for college. i wanted to apply to ucla, it was my dream school.

i always try to keep myself busy, keep myself doing something productive, and i think the job would help.

"girls, we're leaving now!"

ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚

during the drive, belly got shotgun, steven was driving, and i sat in the backseat with mom, which i didn't really mind.

the song 'can't do better' by kim petras was blasting, while belly sung along from the top of her lungs.

i unbuckled my seatbelt and spread my legs across the backseat.

"uh, can you guys turn it down a little?" laurel asked. "and, y/n, sit right."

i sighed and sat straight, buckling my seatbelt. "i want you guys to be better about helping out this summer." laurel told us.

"don't just leave your dishes, load them into the dishwasher. and, not just your dish either, steven. i want you to be good houseguests." she continued.

"mom, susannah has people who clean, doesn't she?" steven asked, curiously.

laurel flicked steven on the head. "steven!"

"owww!" steven complained. "alright, alright. sorry."

mom is weird about money, the fact that susannah has money, and we don't.

"just.. be considerate, and act like i raised you right. steven, y/n, that means don't stay out too late."

"mommmm!" we both complained.

"i'm too old for a curfew." i frowned.

"wait, what about me? i don't have a curfew either, right?" belly asked from the front seat.

steven started to laugh. "what do you need a curfew for? you don't go anywhere."

"steven!" i threw my phone charger at him. "don't be a jackass."

"what?" steven continued laughing.

"we'll talk about it when it comes up." laurel told belly.

"oh, and y/n, don't forget, you promised you'd take me driving." belly reminded me.

"belly, i told you i'd take you." laurel intervened.

"yeah, but.. you're too judgy." belly quietly said.

me and steven started laughing. "excuse me?" laurel asked.

"yeah, sorry." belly laughed too.

we parked in front of the gas station me, belly, and mom going in.

belly got some cheetos and sour patches. she opened the bag of cheetos and ate a few.

"belly!" i whisper-yelled.

"what!?"

"at least pay for it first."

me and belly looked over at the register, to see a guy staring at us.

"hey." he nodded his head.

i smiled and waved, while belly grabbed a coke, and we brought our snacks up to the register.

"what's up with you, y/n?" jumper said with a smile.

"jumper? i didn't know you work here now." i said in surprise.

he turned to belly. "who's this? are you new this summer?"

belly looked behind her, then back at jumper. "uh, me? no.."

"really?" he smirked, and scanned the snacks. "thought i knew every pretty girl in cousins."

"ew, don't flirt with my little sister, idiot." i warned him.

to be honest, i wasn't really fond with jumper. the way he sort of treated girls like they were objects just wasn't too appealing to me.

he rolled his eyes. "whatever. you both coming to the bonfire tonight? first of the season."

"uh.. maybe." i responded.

"come!" he encouraged us, then turned to belly again with a smile. "i'll introduce you to some of my friends."

"maybe i will." belly smiled back

i gave belly a quick side eye. "maybe she won't." i look back to jumper, trying to protect belly.

laurel walked up to us. "after i get settled in, you wanna go to whale of a tale with me, so i can presign stock for the signing tonight?" she asked belly.

"uh..."

"remember.. when you used to sit on my lap when i used to sign there?" laurel continued

"no, i don't.. remember that." belly chuckled.

"i'll make you a deal." laurel said, as we walked out. "i'll let you pick out tonight's desert if you come in and keep me company."

"see you later." jumped smirked at belly.

"what's later?" laurel asked, curiously.

"nothing." belly responded, a little too quickly.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚ ੈ✩‧₊˚

END OF CHAPTER

[sophsicle]

y'all think that atj, ben barnes, andrew garfield and dan deehan are the og marauders fan cast but you're actually wrong the og marauders fan cast was these mother huggers from the 2006 cinematic masterpiece The Covenant

a movie about a group of friends at a fancy private school who come from old magical families and also one of them goes *evil*

these dudes used 2 b in all the fan videos, also, for reasons very important to the plot, they are on the swim team and hang out in speedos a lot

thank you for coming 2 my tedtalk

[practically-an-x-man]

This isnt TST but an idea I had: Your OCs and their plus ones are all going to a halloween party and they come to you for extreme hollywood level makeup/effects/costuming. What do they get transformed into.

Bonus if you wanna write a fic/ramble: After the party you find out you're a Super whose powers are transformstions. All those partygoers are now really what you made their makeup/costumes for...

Ooooooh, thank you!! This will be fun!

Think I'm gonna skip that bonus part, just don't have the mental energy for it right now, but it's a cool idea!!

Talk Shop Tuesday (I'm still counting it lol)

Rae & Warren W: Honestly, I think they'd just be like "gimme the scariest thing you got", they're both pretty daring and adventurous people who are down for just about anything

Robin & Peter M: Frankenstein (it's frahnk-en-steen!) and the Creature from Young Frankenstein, Robin's favorite movie

Madison & Alex: They'd pay extra for all-night makeup service, they've got a plan. Both appear at the party looking completely normal, dressed in fairly plain clothes. Halfway through, they disappear - when they come back, Madison's a little scratched up, Alex has patches of fur and Wolfman claws, and both their clothes are torn. By the end of the party, they both disappear again, and later Madison is found on the floor of the kitchen, covered in blood and gruesome wounds with Bravo (her wolfdog) standing over her looking menacing.

Ophelia & Peter P: Oh, they don't need me. They both show up in intentionally-shitty costumes of the other's hero persona, having independently decided to try and fuck with each other in the exact same way.

Gia & Kate: Assuming Gia would even agree to going to a party in the first place... I could see them going as classic Goosebumps monsters. Gia's the humanoid plant from Stay Out of the Basement, Kate's a scarecrow from They're Alive! Alternatively, I could see them as a genderbent/WLW Seymour and Audrey from Little Shop of Horrors, with Gia's clover mixed in with her prop Twoey (ok ok, that's partially bc it gives Gia an excuse to have her clover with her and fend off a little of that anxiety... but mostly because Gia as a character is based on Seymour originally and I think it's playfully ironic)

Jasper & Kyle: Frank N' Furter and Rocky, of course! Kyle brings a robe since it would get a little uncomfortable to just wear the Speedo the whole time, but he does wear it.... the things people do for love, lol

Kestrel & Warren B: Warren's the only one who needs a costume, Kestrel will just shift into what fits with the theme. And honestly, with that freedom, it could be just about anything. Probably something Indiana Jones-themed, since they're Warren's favorite movies.

Katherine & Ahk: Honestly, Kat would probably just revisit her Bastet costume from that first Halloween party and clean it up a little, and Ahk would wear what he normally wears.

Quinn & Billy: I can't imagine Quinn would want particularly heavy makeup, since she would have to have to deal with removing it all after the party (when she's already tired and in pain from being on her feet). Maybe Morticia and Gomez Addams? That would be fun, and if Quinn wears her platforms she can really make the height difference pop (she's 6'3" without heels, Billy is 5'11"). And of course, Billy's so undeniably smitten he doesn't even need to act the part of Gomez.

Eris & Rick: Hm... tough question. On the one hand, I could see Eris getting really into it, spending weeks putting together the perfect costume only for it to be some historical figure that nobody besides them even really remembers. On the other hand, I could see them being pretty open about it, and willing to follow Rick's lead with whatever costume he decides on - as one of Eris' little hidden gestures of how much they care about him. Sorry this one's a non-answer, I just can't really think of something specific for them.

Nikoletta & Abner: Honestly, I don't know that they're the type for costumes. Neither of them really grew up in an environment where they celebrated Halloween much (save perhaps for Nikoletta being exposed to all the tourists flocking to New Orleans for the holiday), so there's not really nostalgia in dressing up, and they wouldn't be motivated to spend their hard-earned and limited money on costumes or makeup. I could see them agreeing to a group costume (probably at Harley's insistance), but they wouldn't come up with anything on their own.

Jimmy & Lars: Honestly, it would be fun enough just to play up the whole Ghostbusters thing. They're something of local celebrities, but with Lars being more of a behind-the-scenes guy and Jimmy being... well, a ghost that doesn't look like a ghost, everyone just thinks it's a damn good costume until they demonstrate the reality of it. If Lars can get his idea for a painless proton stream worked out in time, he'll make a spectacular show of "catching" Jimmy. If he can't, he'll just make a spectacular show of missing.

Spider (pre-apocalypse, attends alone): Would show up with a detailed sketch of a monster of his own devising, something super creative and super creepy. Hell, he's probably got four-leg stilts and an articulated costume tail of his own, just to add to the effect - he's a film guy, he takes Halloween seriously!

[famousfilmsfan]

Bryan and Jons Dyanamic was never explored often so I decided to give them one.

Kinds hyperfixated on this

Part 1:

Jon: You really let me drop out of college for no reason?

Bryan: I was honestly convinced you would cut me if I did.

Jon: I can’t believe how horrible I was to everybody.

Bryan: yeah, and you constantly claim I play the victim.

Jon: Shut up.

Bryan: Make me.

Jon: *chuckles* this is nice. To actually talk like two friends, no yelling at eachother

Bryan: Yeah.

Jon; So..did you actually try to contact me before evil bryan took over?

Bryan: every day, I got hung up on, two fake wrong numbers and one f*ck your mother.

Jon: Damn. Sorry Bryan.

Bryan: Yeah...my mom is a b!tch though.

Jon: Oh good that wasn't my condition, she is the worst, like every hallmark villain rolled into one

Bryan: Hey! That’s my mom you’re talking about!

Jon: B-but you said.

Bryan: Hey only a son can talk bad about his mom.…but yeah she is a hallmark villain

Jon: Hmmm I have an idea

Bryan: Wanna pitch the movie idea to Hallmark and make more money?

Jon: Hell yeah!

Part 2:

Bryan and Jon we're sitting by the pool. Bryan in red trunks and a t-shirt and Jon….

Bryan: Is that a speedo?

Jon: Yeah?

Bryan: You know only athletes and pervs wear those in public right?

Jon: Hey! I’m pretty well built!

Bryan: Well…

Jon: Says the guy who photo shops abs onto himself.

Bryan: I don’t photoshop.

Jon: Prove it

Bryan takes his shirt off revealing abs.

Jon: What the? How!

Bryan: The twisted really made me an active person. I mean I jumped over a ten-foot wall. When have you done that?

Jon:…decent point.

Bryan puts his shirt back on and lays down.

Part 3

Bryan and Jon, we're on a vacation together away from Fazbears. They told the animatronics they were going to a conference so they wouldn't follow.

Jon: So Bryan how did you find this place?

Bryan: Online, said they were having a deal on rooms.

Jon: Uh. Bryan have you noticed how there are only men here

Bryan: Huh? *looks around* Oh didn't notice

Jon: Bryan…show me the website.

Bryan showed the website to Jon on his phone

Jon: Bryan…this is a hotel for gay couples

Bryan: What? *looks at it* Oh that explains the double bed in our room

Jon: You think? We’re not a couple!

Bryan: Well not anymore but maybe *smirks*

Jon:….What does that mean?

Bryan: Well we did used to date. Remember?

Jon; Uhhh?

Bryan: First year of college? We had Friday date nights

Jon: We just hung out together.

Bryan: We shared dessert!

Jon; Because we were broke

Bryan: You were broke. I was a trust fund baby. *puts on sunglasses and smirks* Baby.

Jon: You’ve been waiting for that weren't you?

Bryan: *embarrassed* Very much yeah.

Bryan, throwing his head into Jon's lap: Tell me I'm pretty!

Jon, lovingly stroking his hair: You're pretty f*cking annoying, that's what you are.

Part 4

*Jon and Bryan are in Paris.*

Jon: I'm...moved. I...I don't know what it is I'm feeling right now. I feel...destiny?

Bryan: But...

Jon: I don't know what it is. I feel like... I just never thought I'd see it with my own two eyes. And here it is. It's just there. It's right in front of me, and...

Bryan: This is what you wanted to see? The bridge from Inception?

Jon: Yeah.

Bryan: But the Eiffel Tower is behind us, babe.

Jon: Yeah, but this is the bridge FROM INCEPTION.

Bryan: Okay, alright.

Part 6

Bryan: You’re giving me a sticker?

Jon: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me-wow!”

Bryan: I’m not a preschooler.

Jon: Fine, I’ll take it back-

Bryan: I earned this, back off!

Part 7

Bryan: Jon can you call the Glamrocks they’re not listening to me

Jon: Bryan i’m not their mom.

Bryan: At least try.

Jon: fine…guys! Get over here!

*Immediately the Glamrocks all line up behind Jon like ducklings*

Jon: Uhh.

Bryan: Awwww!

Part 8

Jon: Davis hand me your sewing kit

Davis: I don't have one

Jon: You don't have one in your pocket?

Davis: No because i’m not a 50’s housewife

Later!

Jon: Hey Bryan do you have a sewing kit on you?

Bryan: Yeah i’m not an animal

Jon: Davis I can pick this lock. I need a Bobby pin

Davis: Okay…oh yeah I don't have one i’m not a nine year old girl.

Jon: Bryan?

Bryan: *holding four of them* Which size?

Part 9:

Jon; Vindi.

Vendi: Jonathen.

Bryan:….Bryan!

Jon and Vendi stare at him

Jon and Vendi: *thinking* God why do I love this man?

Part 10:

Vendi: *on his knees with a ring and orchids* Bryan my dear I love you so much, ever since you entered my office and I saw those gorgeous eyes please I beg you. Marry me?

Jon: *on his knees next to him with a ring and roses* Bryan please, i’ve known you for years and I fell in love with you over the years, every action makes you even more adorable in my eyes. Marry me please?

Bryan: *panicking. Can’t break Jons heart but also can’t break Vendis*

Jon: so?

Bryan: Maybe…all three of us could work it out?

Jon:….

Vendi:…..

Later!

Vendi Jon and Bryan were in bed together, Jon on Bryans left and Vindi on his right.

Bryan: *internally* I can’t believe that worked.

(wow I just made Bryan poly….i don’t regret that)

[bigwishes]

In response, here is a similarly themed would you rather, would you take either:

a) a possessed speedo that compels you to workout, but refrains you from any sexual release until you reach your monstrous goal

or

b) a cursed protein powder that helps you gain mass, but turns you into a gas- and BO- filled monster that no one wants to get close to.

(A) would definitely be a hot choice but it probably wouldn't work. sure id be forced to work out but it would take years to take the thing off or hell if it works off my deepest desire Id probably be stuck in it forever. Thats why (B) is the best fucking choice. Growing to an absolute inhuman size, fuck yeah! don't give a shit if it means I turn into some stinking burping hulked out freak, id be enormous. Lats keeping my arms from touching my sides, biceps and pecs competing form space sounds like a dream, I would easily look past the tightly bloated abs, constant belches and awful b.o for that.

Besides I'm sure there'd be some guy who'd give into the lust of wanting to gain mass I just wouldn't tell him about the side effects, that'd beat any threat of loneliness.

although, if I had a container of the stuff and one shake turned me into that monster I'd probably be tempted to drink 2 or maybe...10 more, who knows what id fucking become.

[defilerwyrm]

HI assuming your asks vis a vis transmasc medical transition are still open i have been vaguely considering phalloplasty sometime in my future but like. awful question that i NEED an answer to. can you still jack off with it like does it have. sexual sensitivity. and if the Sexual Experience is still operational then like... how exactly. mechanically. thank u

Okay so! Yes you can and yes it does, once it’s healed. After surgery it took about a month for my libido to return and another month for doing something about it to not be painful. Until you get an erectile implant it’s gonna be floppy—full size, but floppy, as it never changes size—so jacking off is kind of an awkward affair. The “glans” will have the actual glans of your clitoris embedded in it right at the top, and the nerve they harvest from that and your donor site will connect somewhere in the shaft, so once that heals up you should have erotic sensation. It’s not exactly like a natal penis in most senses, including erogenous zones, so the shaft itself seems to be less sensitive than that of a natal one. Still, touch feels good.

Probably TMI, but for the first month after I was able to see to my libido I went off like a bottle rocket. Like 3 minutes flat. It was bewildering ‘cause I’m used to having to put in a lot more effort. That high sensitivity eventually waned, but it’s still not a lot of trouble to get the big O. I’ve found the exact places where I’m most sensitive a little surprising but YMMV there.

Now in terms of topping, you have two main choices: double bag it, or get an implant. Two condoms are usually sufficient to hold a neophallus rigid enough for penetration, though it will come at the cost of sensation. For an erectile implant, you have two main choices: a rigid posable rod, or an inflatable rod. I’m going with the former when I get my final transition surgery done next year because a) I don’t live the kind of life where having a 24/7 boner is going to be a Problem (ie, I don’t do mountain biking or wear a speedo ever) and b) it has much greater longevity/lesser chance of having to go back under the knife at some point That kind is silver encased in silicone anchored to the public bone. The inflatable kind will have a pump in the scrotum you can use to gain or lose an erection.

There’s more information about both implant types online since these are mostly done for cis men with erectile dysfunction that pills don’t fix, or who can’t take ED medication; and of course you can always talk to a surgeon about them too.

[runthepockets]

The way teen boys express masculinity feels so much more organic than the way adult men do it. And I don't mean this in a self infantilizing way or to imply adult men are fundamentally flawed. or whatever, but...

I look at old pictures of guys in their teens - mid 20s in the 2000s and they're all just. Shirtless playing Guitar Hero, or making stupid faces and goofy fake macho poses in Speedos, or making guns out of Monster cans, or surrounded by mountains of beer cans, or lifting their girlfriends over their shoulders, or some other fun silly shit. And that just resonates with me. The other day I found a myanimelist group dedicated to talking about "REAL MANLY THINGS THAT REAL MEN LIKE" and the list was everything from giant mech fights to screaming to random clips of grumpy old men talking about eating bacon and drinking beer for every meal. And it was funny and charming but it also genuinely resonated with me. Like I played Mortal Kombat and watched Gurren Lagann and played cowboys and soldiers outside with my friends as a kid, so a lot of my masculinity is derived from hammy fictional stuff and I don't think that's ever really gonna go away. Like these kids know how to have fun as well as embracing their masculine spirit.

Comparatively, I look at similar shit for adult men and it's just....so desolate and lame and wilted in comparison. Wear jeans that fit properly, wear solid colors, no stripes or cool graphic designs or bright colors or anything. Chest hair and patchy facial hair are considered tacky rather than a testament to rugged, organic manliness, hyper groom. No more ninjas or pirates or cowboys or samurai, no more passionate and open appreciation when a woman likes you enough to let you see her naked body, trade your muscle car / motorcycle in favor of a normie domestic suburban life. Like what the hell, man. No wonder we're all so goddamn miserable, we're sacrificing the legitimate versions of ourselves that we spent so long cultivating in our youths and just tossed them in the trash. I understand some of the novelty of this stuff wearing off over time, and don't get me wrong I like cigars and R&B and wearing suits and more "adult" stuff too, but I don't think I should just have to navigate masculinity with one or the other, I don't think having fun and maintaining a perpetual air of youthfulness should be considered immature or weird in any capacity, I think it's absolutely vital.

[ravensmind]

RobRae Week Day 4

~RavensMind~

Day 4- Workout

Beach Workout Revelations

Relaxing in the summer sun, a cold iced herbal tea in one hand, an open book in the other, Raven stretched out on a lounge chair under a wide umbrella on the beach in front of Titans Tower. She was taking a short break from the team's outdoor workout. Initially she had protested the idea, not wanting to bake in the sun, until she remembered the massive umbrella she had gotten at the end of last year for that exact reason. It was a great day for it, as there was enough of a breeze to tolerate the heat and some cloud cover every now and then. All the Titans were in their swimwear, so any cardio would be done in the water, another way to ensure they wouldn’t collapse in the sun. 

“Hey Raven, going to be up for squats soon?” Robin called out to her from the water’s edge.

“Listen, taskmaster general, I need a little more time in the shade first, I’m not going to burn like some people,” Raven called back, her eyes going from Robin to the green changeling next to him, who was already sunburned on his shoulders.

“No pain, no gain, dudes,” Beast Boy retorted, flexing his arms with his fists over his head, showing off the minor muscle increase he’d recently gotten.

“That’s supposed to refer to your muscles, not your skin,” Raven said, rolling her eyes.

“I’ll be fine, it’s just some sun,” Beast Boy said.

“Can we proceed with the squatting? I also do not desire the burn of the sun and wish to do as much as we can to enjoy ourselves,” Starfire chimed in.

“She’s got a point, c’mon, Rae, get over here,” Cyborg called, “I’ll move your umbrella if you want it that bad.”

“Okay, fine, I’m coming,” Raven said, setting her drink and book down on the small folding table she’d brought out with the lounge chair.

Raven stood and adjusted the tie on the side of her dark blue bikini, making sure it was tight and rolled her shoulders before walking down to join the others.

“I saved you a spot next to me,” Robin said with a smile.

Raven had to push her emotions down so color wouldn’t creep into her face as she neared him and only managed a nod in his direction. Truthfully, it hadn’t been merely the sun she was taking a break from under the umbrella. Being close to Robin under any circumstance had been trying for her lately, as she discovered she was attracted to him. Any look, word, or touch from him jolted her emotions, making her grip her power to keep it in place. Their chosen activity and attire made suppressing certain thoughts and feelings harder, making it as much of an emotional exercise as it was a physical one. Beast Boy and Cyborg were wearing long swim trunks, but, ever the purposeful, prepared obsessive that he was, Robin wore a tight red speedo, emphasizing strong legs and leaving even less to the imagination that his normal green tights. His body was slick with sweat from his own workout, as he had started before the other Titans showed.

She walked over to the spot beside him and waited as Cyborg brought the umbrella over and set it up near her.

“Thanks, Cy,” she said.

“No prob, Rae,” he said, before returning to his spot in their line-up along the water.

With the shade as cover, she turned out toward the water and tried to focus on just doing the exercises. Before she could get herself into position, she felt Robin’s touch on her arm. She wondered if he knew how he affected her through their bond and was just enjoying watching her tense.

“Do you want to borrow my smaller weights? They might give you better results than going without, you uh, don’t seem to have trouble, and it’s good to push yourself,” Robin asked.

“Sure,” Raven replied quickly.

It was better to give him short, simple responses when she was holding her emotions down, otherwise she risked blushing. Like she was going to broadcast to him what he was doing to her, that just sounded unfair. 

He stepped away to grab a small set of dumbbells from the collection he’d brought outside and lined up behind them, bent down to pick them up, and made her have to look very quickly anywhere else before the slightest thought about him at that angle did anything else to her. She acted like she had been looking at a passing bird when he had turned back to face her. Thankfully, their friends had started on their own exercises, so nobody would’ve caught anything regardless. She was still safe. He approached her and handed her two red dumbbells, which she took from him, holding one in each hand by her sides. She expected him to return to his place in the sand, but he remained by her side.

“Thanks, um, was there something else you wanted?” Raven asked.

“Oh, uh, I wanted to make sure you had the right form before I started on my own stuff,” Robin replied.

“Okay, right,” she said.

Fantastic, now he was going to be watching her. She suddenly wished she’d worn a swimsuit that covered her entire body, face included. Nothing she could do now… except mess with him.

“Like my bikini?” she asked, as she got into position, her feet digging into the sand, facing the water.

“I-it’s uh-nice, yeah,” he replied, tensing and rubbing his neck.

“With the way you’re watching me, I’d think it was better than ‘nice’,” she said, as she bent her knees and slowly descended into a squat.

“Maybe-I mean, yeah, it’s… you look awesome in it,” he admitted, color coming into his cheeks.

She smiled to herself. His eyes may be hidden behind his mask, but he couldn’t keep all of his emotions from showing themselves in the rest of his face and body.

“Should have seen the other one I tried on before picking this, showed too much, wasn’t sure if I could pull it off,” she said, rising out of her squat, “I might not be the best judge… what do you think?”

His face’s color matched the color of his speedo as he bit his lip and watched her descend into another squat. Something about the situation was bothering her more than her own nerves, but she couldn’t put her finger on what. He remained silent during her next two reps and didn’t say anything until she looked at him.

“I uh, think I’d have to see it - to know for sure,” he said, his lips lifting in a small smile.

She knew that smile. It always showed itself when he had figured something out, whether it was about something personal or about one of the city’s countless criminals. In this case, it worried her. Why? She had to say something but she’d been thrown off by how easily he now stood looking at her. His nerves had calmed, why? She descended into another squat while she came up with a response to match the implicit challenge he’d given her.

“You’ll have to join Starfire and I when we go clothes shopping next time, then,” she said.

“Hmm. Or you and I could go tomorrow, if you uh, want my opinion that bad,” he countered.

Raven came up from another squat and stopped. Robin’s response had given her the answer to her internal questions, along with a revelation that made her heart race even as it drained what color showed in her pale complexion. 

The feeling of attraction was mutual. And he had turned her teasing into his offer of a date.

She wasn’t sure how she got herself into this, how to get out of it, or if she even wanted to get out of it. No way was he going to get the best of her.

“Fine. On two conditions. You keep our trip between us and… you have to try things on too,” she said, performing a perfect squat as she finished speaking.

“Wh-uh, deal,” he said, as red took over his face again.

“And…I think my form is fine, right?” she asked.

“Your form? Wh-oh, yeah, it’s awesome, uh, keep it up,” he replied, looking like he’d been hit with her reminder, “I’m gonna go back to my own workout.”

Raven managed a nod as she performed another squat, grateful for the break from the awkwardness between them. Turning her attention back to the waves and her own reps, she wished she could be as calm as the steady waves rolling in and out before her. Serenity would only be restored with meditation and distance from Robin. Try as she might, she could not resist glancing in his direction every few reps. He had his own large dumbbells in his hands, doing his own squats. His muscles stood out in the sunlight, his sleek, toned body shining with sweat the longer he went. His breathing was even, showing no sign of strain. She thought he might catch her eye and she pretended to blow a strand of her violet hair out of her face.

“Dude, I’m done with this sand,” Beast Boy abruptly called out to the group, “time for some dolphin jumps!”

Beast Boy dashed from his place in the sand out into the water and morphed into a large green dolphin as soon as the water reached his waist. Their friend swam in a large circle and went down, then breached the water a minute later, flying high in the air, splashing Cyborg and Starfire with water as he landed near them.

“Yo, you’re gonna get it for that!” Cyborg called with a grin, setting his weights down and rushing into the water after Beast Boy passed him again.

“Robin, Raven, shall we do the swimming of the laps with them?” Starfire asked the pair, rising from the push ups she was doing in the sand.

“Not ready yet, but go ahead if you want to,” Robin said.

“I’m…not quite ready either. I’ll do mine soon,” Raven added.

Starfire giggled as she was splashed by another of Beast Boy’s jumps, then leapt into the water after him. This left Robin and Raven alone on the beach as their friends swam off, beginning their laps around the island. 

Robin and Raven continued their squats with their weights, each catching the other’s eye when they fully stood or descended every few reps. Before long, she was sweating and her throat felt dry. The silence between her and Robin grew, but that had become a silent contest, as she could feel his own tension through their bond, and he was holding himself back from saying more. Neither would stop until the other did, neither would speak until the other did, but Raven had a few advantages - she had shade, smaller weights, and she had not been working out as long as he had been.

In time, Robin had to stop and take a breather. He put his weights down and reached for his water bottle, taking a long drink and long breaths. He caught her looking at him too long before she could excuse it as anything and grinned at her.

“You, uh, never said if you liked my swimsuit,” Robin said, “I’d say you do, you keep looking at me.”

“It… suits you,” Raven admitted, unable to bring herself to try and lie to him.

“Thanks. Want some of my water? You uh, seem thirsty,” he offered, a playful tone in his voice.

“I think you need it more than I do,” she replied, her tone matching his.

“Yeah, it’s pretty hot out here, huh?” he asked.

“Yes,” she agreed.

“Can I join you in the shade?” he asked.

“I don’t see why not,” she replied.

He joined her under her umbrella with his water bottle and stood closer than he had before. It was a waiting game now for her, as she was not about to show that he affected her, and he remained where he was, refusing to show any further interest.

Neither of them were willing to cross the line in the sand, but if they were being honest with themselves, it was only a matter of time. She stopped and put her weights down, accepting the water bottle he offered her and took a drink, hoping that wasn’t all he would give her.

[devildomsvixenmc]

What the characters remind me of

lmao not me easing myself into writing for this blog once again after taking a long break

Lucifer - Typical Wattpad DILF T_T, Christian Grey, Dracula, Baroque era, BTS Blood Sweat & Tears

Mammon - Leather Dadd-, guys who wear sweatpants and listens to r&b, Rihanna's Shut Up & Drive

Leviathan - the one who crushes on his bully, brooklynbloodpop, Eldritch creatures,

Satan - Kazoo Kid, Draco Malfoy, Neito Monoma, smartasses, Lucife-

Asmodeus - Primadonna Album, y2k honestly, Tata Young's Sexy Naughty B*tchy Me, Barbie Girl song

Beelzebub - those orange-haired anime characters, teddy bears

Belphegor - Dr. Strange, Cruella de Vil, student who sleeps during classes but gets good scores

Diavolo - himbo, Rockstar Freddy, speedo-wearers, i'm too sexy for my love love's going to leave me

Barbatos - Malleus, Sebastian Michaelis, assassins idk

[boricuacherry-blog]

I think Rihanna should monetize her messiness instead of just being regarded as 'robyn the bird' by the general public. She should do a reality tv show about the love triangle (square?) with her, breezy ❄️, drake 🦉, asap pebble 🪨 , sophie brussaux 🐌🇫🇷, and karrueche 👘🪭

Drake and Asap will continue their fight for paternity over Adonis 👱, forcing Drake to finally make a diss track towards Asap AND Kdot defending his family.

Asap and Rocky have been friends for awhile, so Chris forgives Asap for saying "I don't beat my b**" and make up again. Asap and Chris start bonding over their love of drugs. Asap introduces Chris to shrooms and Chris introduces Asap to crack. Chris has an epiphany on shrooms and realizes he needs help. He goes to rehab and Asap comes out the closet and realizes Chris was the top to his bottom. He will quit the crack and follow Chris to rehab. Just to be closer to him. But he's not ready to tell Rih he's not just into fashion but also into Chris.

Meanwhile, asap and Chris are both still cheating. Karrueche's restraining order expires and she gives Chris one last chance. He throws her down the stairs again and she renews her restraining order for another ten years. Rih gets online and throws subliminals with rice cakes but adds sushi this time. Asap goes back n forth between Rih (playing the family guy) while dissing Drake and having orgies with white women in beds he created solely for that purpose. He even makes a spring so the bed will snap shut if Rihanna walks in the room, and open again when she walks out of it.

Bec Asap and Chris have reunited, they now both go at Drake in one big song, where they also convince Sophie to add a verse. They also find Drake's hidden child in the forest of Fiji and surprise Drake with a verse from his own hidden child dissing him.

Rihanna will continue selling her underwear throughout this ordeal. and putting on makeup. But when she reaches for a pink speedo she has begun selling in her menswear underwear line, she realizes it has been used. She starts having flashbacks of all the times Asap has asked to borrow her skirt. He said he was using it as a kilt, but at the time, it was still a skirt. Rihanna sells five times the amount of underwear she would normally bec the reality show is a success. Rihanna gets help for her baking addiction. Powder is no longer a part of her fabric. Tune in next time to see if Asap will come out to Rih, if he wore the underwear or someone else in her life has, if Drake will now claim his hidden child or will throw diss shots back, will Asap steal fenty money to make Chris gay for pay, will Chris relapse and accept the money, will one of Asap's orgy partners get caught.

[writingsofwesteros]

Had a dream about if Jaime was a lifeguard and he had to save me from drowning. After he rescued me he looked down at me and was like, “What kind of idiot goes to a pool if they can’t swim?”

SIR, I can swim…just not very good. Anyway the dream continues and there’s a whole murder in the woods for some reason?? I never made it to the part where anything was revealed cause I woke up, but got me thinking on how much we need a silly little campy horror thing.

Here’s the set up:

-Jaime: head lifeguard (cause of his daddy), wears a speedo and sunglasses (Speedo is more of a man thong), unironically yells at kids to walk bc he’s got nothing better to do

Role: Boy toy that we come to love as he shows that he can care for people

-Robb: Beefy co-head lifeguard (bc he deserves it), wears swim trunks and a cropped lifeguard tee (give me Robb in a crop top!!!), spends most of the time hiding from the local MILFs that would eat him

Role: the absolute sweetheart that dies for no reason other than to cause emotional pain to the audience

-Alicent: Needs a job to help her with college, wears the classic red bathing suit (used to wear a bikini but has to deal with pervs) and the hat, is kind of the medic too, rejects a lot of creeps with Robb staring them down in the background

Role: Hot girl that’s actually smart

-Reader: Besties with Alicent therefore also has to work there, has Tywin as a sugar daddy, would rather die than let Jaime know, finds it funny to fuck with Jaime (up to you whether it’s pranks or sex), wears a red bathing suit with a cropped shirt (bc matching with Robb is goals)

Role: Final girl but make it realistic

-Larys: Stalks everyone and plans the traps, has a weird thing with jerking off while watching people die slowly bc of his traps, victims are his obsessions

Role: Mastermind killer

-Harwin: Does all the actual murder, is merciful with quick deaths to his victims, thinks Larys is psycho, obsessed with the reader, victims are those who are close to his obsession

Role: Lovesick killer

-Bobby B: Beefy sheriff, everyone knows him, drinks bc of his job, needs a little housewife (yes I read the hcs and he absolutely needs one), known for his short temper and letting the ladies off with a good enough blowjob

Role: Grumpy cop that deals with too much bs

-Ned: Quiet Deputy, never talks unless he has to, drinks bc of Robert, is a newly divorced man, known for being scarily calm and emotionless, has shared women with Robert

Role: Good cop that deals with Robert’s bs

-Tywin: Employees the Strong boys to create a big stir and drive out businesses in King’s landing, wants to own the entire city so he can do whatever he wants, is the sugar daddy of Reader and makes it clear she is not to be hurt

Role: Benefactor

UM, YES PLEASE !!!!!!!!

I love all the little roles you've given them and Larys is such a creep!!!

[megan0013]

Mamma Mia AU

there was actually a stricklake mamma mia au on ao3 at one point (it's gone missing 😭), so quite a bit of these hc's are inspired by my vague memories of that fic. and if anyone should happen to find it, please let me know and i’ll link it

anyway

1. this is not a human au. all sorts of species get it on along in this one and barb was in college, ok? she was into experimenting. blinky is a troll. strickler and jls are both changelings. the fact that jim isn’t obviously a half-troll should immediately rule blinky out as a genetic donor, but i choose to ignore that particular pothole because it amuses me greatly to imagine a six-eyed, four-armed blue troll declaring passionately to a mostly human jim that he knows he’s his father and can’t wait to give him away at his wedding. jim doesn’t have the heart to explain that that’s not really the way it works

jim: i’ll know my father as soon as i see him

toby: it’s totally the troll

2. character swap goes like this: jim - sophie, claire - sky, barbara - donna, strickler - sam, blinky - bill/harry, jls - harry/bill. toby is still there as jim's best friend, along with draal who is the tasty treat chasing after wine auntie nomura for plot c. oh, and aaarrrgghh takes the place of rosie because the b plot is my favorite troll husbands falling in love

blinky: barbara, you were the first human i ever loved

blinky: and also the last

aaarrrgghh *grinning*: take a chance on me

3. strickler’s a great cook, blinky is fascinated by human vehicles, and jls is also named james(?!) - wild how jim’s got something in common with all three of his possible dads, huh?

4. the island truly is magical and part of claire’s business plan is to market it as a hotel for mythical creatures. not monsters, though. dracula’s already got that market cornered. kidding. everyone’s welcome

5. for plot purposes trolls have developed an immunity to the sun and can now lay around all day on the beach in a speedo, drinking a mai tai and dreaming up increasingly chaotic schemes to somehow seduce the hot changeling lady

nomura: little boys who play with fire get their fingers burned

draal: it’s cool. i’m wearing spf 4000

6. the morning after stricklake get married, strickler’s down in the kitchen making barbara pancakes or something with nothing on but one of those “kiss the cook” aprons, completely forgetting that this is a hotel and winds up getting caught bare-assed when half the wedding guests waltz in for their continental breakfast. don’t worry. barbara saves him, and

dot dot dot