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cherierot · 14 days ago

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message in a bottle ✹ op81 × fem!reader

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pairing: oscar piastri x fem!reader

genre: slow burn enemies (but actually misunderstanding) to Besties to Lovers emotional damage with a side of banter social anxiety-core. smau x irl

chapter warnings: smoking, slight hints of depression, reference to past suicide ideation, themes of unresolved trauma, emotional repression (?), jetlag, dissociation (lol), accidental hose attack + 81% chance of hypothermia, for more content warning check linked masterlist above

synopis: once, he saved your life with shaking hands and a bad autograph. now, years later, you stand in his orbit—hattie's best friend with a half-healed heart and a wrist tattoo he'll never notice. he doesn't remember you. you never forgot him. It's messy. It's slow. It's everything and nothing at all.

author notes: so so sorry for the long wait, I mean with my personal life tearing me apart, writing is cathartic to me rn, but sadly I keep breaking my laptop, it refuses to say in one piece ya'll. but good news is, I have decided to say adios to my eyesight and light in from my phone (yay?!)

chapter one : sub rosa

➔ ❝ ...𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗅𝗅𝗒 𝗆𝗂𝗌𝗌𝖾𝖽 𝗍𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝖼𝗅𝗂𝗆𝖺𝗍𝖾 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗀𝖾 𝗌𝗂𝗆𝗎𝗅𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇 𝖾𝗑𝗉𝖾𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖼𝖾 ❞

You smoke out the window like it’s a ritual, watching the smoke curl up and disappear, the bitter drag of it filling the hollow parts you pretend don’t exist. The sky outside is dull, that late-winter grey that makes everything feel like it’s waiting for something to happen. Your inbox is full of unread emails, half-written assignments, and one string of voice notes from Hattie, each more dramatic than the last.

"I haven’t seen you in forever. Come visit me, please, I’ll die if you don’t—"

Then laughter. That sharp, untouchable kind of laughter that sounds like it belongs to people who aren’t tired like you. People like Hattie, whose orbit has always been bright and fast and full of noise.

You didn’t say no. Mostly because you didn’t have the energy to. Mostly because staying here another week, alone in this airless flat, feels like a worse kind of drowning.

You’re three days into ignoring your coursework. Two days into skipping meals on accident. One week into letting the dirty mugs stack up on your desk like some pathetic little monument to inertia. You know exactly what Hattie would say if she saw it. You can almost hear her voice in your head now, “Get up. Do something. Put on lipstick. We’re going out.”

You stub the cigarette out against the chipped brick of the window frame and watch the ash scatter like it’s trying to leave you too.

The thing is.....you miss her.

Hattie.

Her messy bedroom floor and her bad playlist choices and her habit of making everything feel urgent and impossible and alive. It’s been months since you’ve seen her. Since she hugged you too tight and told you she hated how small your wrists felt.

So when she begged you to visit, you said yes without thinking. Without asking who else might be there. Without giving yourself time to spiral about the possibility of running into—

No. You don’t go there.

You press the thought down like you’ve learned to press down every other stupid, sentimental, self-destructive thought.

This is about Hattie. About seeing her. About pretending you’re still capable of being someone who shows up for people.

The airport is exactly how you remember it: cold, too bright, and full of people pretending they’re going somewhere important. You move through it like a ghost, sneakers sticking on cheap tile, your backpack too heavy on one shoulder.

At security, you stand barefoot on the cold floor, arms out like a crime scene silhouette, while a stranger waves a plastic wand over your body like they’re trying to find something worth keeping.

The flight itself is short. Forgettable.

You sit by the window and let your headphones play the same three songs on repeat. Eyes on the clouds, fingers restless in your lap, heart doing that stupid, aching thing where it feels both too fast and too slow at once.

By the time you land, your phone’s at 9%, and Hattie’s already sent three texts:

"Where r u??"

"Do you want me to pick you up or are you getting a cab??"

"Also slight thing forgot to tell you something but lol nvm see you soon xoxo"

Your mouth twitched slightly, suppressing a slight smile. You don't reply.

You just grab your bag, sling it over one shoulder, and step out into the thick, summer heat of a city you haven’t been back to in over a year.

Not knowing that somewhere, across town, he’s already home too.

Hattie’s already waiting at arrivals when you step out, standing on top of a metal bench like she’s trying to summon an audience. She’s waving both arms like she’s directing air traffic, wearing sunglasses too big for her face and grinning like she’s just won something.

You pause for half a second at the sight of her—because no matter how tired you are, no matter how much your body feels like a half-charged phone, she still makes you smile like muscle memory.

"Oh my god, you’re alive!" she yells, way too loud for an airport.

A few strangers turn. You duck your head and walk faster.

She meets you halfway, launching herself at you with zero warning and enough force to make your carry-on bag swing off your shoulder.

"You smell like airplane and room freshener." she says into your hair, still hugging you like she doesn’t care that you’re awkward and stiff and slow to hug back.

"You smell like bad descisions and Red Bull." you mutter.

She pulls back just enough to look at you, fake-offended.

"Rude." she paused, gripping your forearms to pull you back in for another, "but not wrong."

The car she drives now is the same one she had back in high school.

A dented, sun-faded with a temperamental stereo and a cracked dashboard she once tried to cover with pokemon stickers. The passenger seat still leans too far back from that one night she let you crash there when you didn’t want to go home.

The seatbelt lock sticks. The air conditioning rattles like it’s got lungs full of dust.

But she drives it like it’s a chariot. Like every scrape on the paint is a badge of honor.

"Still haven’t gotten that fixed?" you ask, yanking at the stubborn seatbelt until it clicks.

"Charm, babe," she says, patting the dash like it’s a living thing. "This car’s got character."

She tosses your bag into the back with zero ceremony and climbs behind the wheel like she’s racing a countdown clock. The engine groans, then catches like it always does, like it’s trying one last time not to die on her.

"I got us snacks for the drive," she announces, grabbing a half-crushed bag of chips from the floor between her feet.

"Are they edible?"

"Debatable," she grins. "But it’s the thought that counts."

You settle in, letting the seat swallow you whole. The road stretches out in front of you, dust and sun and familiar turns you haven’t taken in far too long.

Hattie talks the whole way. About her classes. Her neighbors. The dog her mom’s thinking about adopting.

You let her comforting voice fill the car like music.

While you watch the sky shift from airport grey to something just slightly gold at the edges.

░░░░░░░ ✸

The drive is longer than you remember.

Or maybe it just feels that way because every street, every stretch of cracked pavement, carries something you’ve spent years trying to forget.

The closer you get to their house, the tighter your chest pulls.

The ghost of seventeen sitting shotgun with you, chewing on memories like gum you can’t spit out.

By the time Hattie pulls into the driveway, the sky’s bruised with late afternoon sun, and the house stands there looking exactly the same. Same chipped paint near the garage. Same uneven patch of grass near the mailbox. Same front steps where you sat one night with shaking hands and lungs too full of panic to breathe properly.

You blink hard, like that’ll stop the memories from clawing their way up your throat.

It doesn’t work.

Hattie’s already out of the car, grabbing your bag like it’s nothing, yelling over her shoulder about snacks and sun and how her mom made dessert just because you’re coming.

"Mum’s out, but she said to help yourself to snacks. Oh and if you break something, just blame me," Hattie’s said, already heading over to the house and kicking off her shoes.

You climb out slower, shoulders tight, heart heavy with nostalgia and another unknown emotion.

The air smells like summer and cut grass and something painfully familiar.

You barely get three steps toward the house when it happens.

A sharp blast of cold—sharp enough to steal your breath.

Water. Full-force. Right in the face.

You stumble back with a yelp, arms flailing, mouth open in shocked protest. Your shirt clings instantly to your skin, your shoes squelch against the driveway, and your hair drips into your eyes like the universe just slammed a bucket over your head.

It takes you two full seconds to realize what’s happening.

Another two seconds to process why.

And then—

You hear him.

"Shit-shit I'm so sorry."

You swipe water out of your eyes just in time to see him:

Oscar.

Standing a few meters away near the side of the house, holding a green garden hose like he’s just been caught committing a crime.

There’s a half-coiled mess of hose at his feet.

A patch of wet concrete where he was probably cleaning something… watering something… doing some dumb, harmless chore until you became collateral damage.

His face goes bright red.

Like full, sunburn-instantly kind of red.

He looks absolutely horrified—but also like he’s fighting the urge to laugh because the situation is objectively ridiculous.

"I—Jesus—I didn’t see you—"

He’s already fumbling to turn off the nozzle, stepping on the hose by accident, making the water spray even more before he finally gets it under control.

"I was—cleaning the patio! I didn’t—You—Wow, you’re… yeah. Properly soaked."

He scratches the back of his neck, awkward and sheepish and every bit the boy you remember, just… older now.

And The worst part, the truly stupid, gut-twisting part? Is that he dosent recognize you.

Your left hand instinctively twitches, just slightly.

Not even a flicker of recognition behind his smile.

Just that classic Oscar Piastri look of "haha oops my bad" mixed with "please someone end this social interaction immediately."

Hattie, from the porch, absolutely loses it laughing.

You stand there, dripping, heart in your throat, staring at the boy who saved your life once…

... Who also happens to be the one who just accidentally drowned you with a garden hose giving you a 'warm' welcome.

You blink at him.

Water dripping from your chin.

Your clothes sticking in all the worst places.

And for one stupid, self-destructive second, you consider saying his name.

Just to see if it lands.

Just to see if anything flickers in that clueless face of his.

But you don’t.

You’ve played this game before.

So instead, you force a breath through your lungs, swipe wet hair out of your eyes, and smile—tight and sarcastic and just a little feral at the edges.

"Cool. Love this. Really missed this climate change simulation experience," you say, gesturing down at yourself like a tragic weather report.

Oscar lets out this small, nervous laugh—too high, too boyish, like he doesn’t know where to put his hands or his eyes.

"Honestly… fair. That was—yeah. That’s on me," he says, already backing up a step like distance will make this less embarrassing for him. "Do you—uh—want a towel? Or…like… new clothes? I think Hattie’s got stuff? Or—"

"You think? Wow, very reassuring," you deadpan, but there’s no real heat in it.

Hattie’s still doubled over laughing from the porch.

"Bro I’m never letting you live this down," she wheezes at Oscar. Then, to you: "C’mon, come inside, I’ll get you something dry. You’re gonna catch a cold and it’ll be his fault, which honestly? Hilarious for me."

You follow her in.

Dripping the whole way.

Oscar stands there for a second longer, scratching the back of his neck, cheeks still pink, before finally turning back to whatever disaster project he was in the middle of.

Inside, the house is warm in that too-many-people, too-many-memories kind of way.

The air smells like whatever Hattie’s momz Nicole, was baking earlier.

There’s music playing faintly from someone’s phone speaker in another room.

Laughter from down the hall.

Normal.

Like that whole embarrassing, heart-stopping, water-soaked moment never even happened.

Hattie throws you a dry oversized hoodie and a pair of leggings, and you changed in the bathroom with your heart still racing in your throat.

You stare at yourself in the mirror for a second too long.

Hair damp and messy.

Neck flushed pink from sun and nerves.

You looked like a girl trying way too hard to look unbothered.

You roll your eyes at your reflection.

Stuff it all down.

Smile like none of this means anything at all.

When you step back out into the hallway, back into the noise, the laughter, the small talk.

You do it like you’re not drowning all over again

░░░░░░░ ✸

There’s clean laundry mixed with dirty laundry like they’re negotiating a peace treaty on the floor. Her desk’s buried under a pile of textbooks and skincare empties. Three different water bottles sit abandoned like ghosts of hydration attempts past.

You throw yourself dramatically onto her bed anyway, half-damp and still slightly cold from earlier. The oversized hoodie she gave you swallows your hands, sleeves hanging like emotional armor.

Hattie flops down next to you with all the grace of a dropped bowling ball.

"Sooo," she starts, already smiling way too wide. "How’s it feel to be back? Aside from the whole… accidental drowning thing."

You groan into her pillow. "Yeah, loving the full theme park experience. Got the welcome spray package and everything."

She laughs—loud, bright, no filter like always.

"Honestly? Worth the wait just to see your face when it hit you. Like, peak betrayal. If I’d had my phone out? I would have sent it to the group chat, they would have loved it."

You glare at her. "I hate you."

"You love me."

"Unfortunately."

You steal a gummy worm from the open bag near her nightstand like you’ve earned it.

You catch up in the lazy, sprawling way you always do.

You giving vague updates about uni that make your life sound way less lonely than it actually is.

Her complaining about the boys in her classes who look like 'sewer rats'.

She tell you about her most recent situationship—a disaster with a dude in her media studies group who thought 'boundaries' was a suggestion, not a rule.

It’s easy to fall back into this.

Like muscle memory.

Like you’re both still seventeen and none of the hard stuff ever happened.

And then, because Hattie can’t help herself, she drops it:

"Also, in case you somehow missed it... Oscar’s home for some time."

You snort.

Because obviously you knew.

"Yeah," you say casually, popping another gummy worm into your mouth. "Kinda figured when he turned the garden hose into a tactical weapon."

"God, I’m still laughing," she grins. "He’s helping Dad with the yard and stuff. I think it’s some weird post-season coping thing. Like… manual labor therapy? Or avoidance of sitting still for more than five minutes? Classic Oscar stuff."

You hum like you’re only half listening.

Even though your stomach does this stupid twist at the mention of him.

Hattie keeps going, all fond and oblivious.

"You’ll probably see him around. Just… ignore him if he’s weird. You know how he is. Social skills set to ‘buffering.’"

"Yeah," you say again, eyes fixed on the ceiling like it’s suddenly fascinating. "Not like I’m new to that."

Hattie doesn’t catch the double meaning.

Why would she?

To her, Oscar’s just her brother.

To you…

Well.

That’s a whole different story.

░░░░░░ ✹

The house is dark.

That kind of late-night stillness that feels like it’s holding its breath.

Your phone screen says 4:07 AM, glowing pale and too bright in the dark.

Jetlag sits thick and restless in your body, too tired to sleep, too wired to stay still.

You’ve already flipped the pillow over twice. The blanket feels both too much and not enough.

By 4:12, you give up.

You shuffle through the hallway, hoodie sleeves pulled over your hands, socks making soft sounds against the floorboards.

The air smells like dust and eucalyptus and leftover summer heat trapped in old wood.

You’re halfway to the kitchen, bleary-eyed and more ghost than person, when you catch the faintest sound of running water ahead.

The fridge door’s open. Light spills across the floor and there he is.

Back turned at first. Shoulders hunched. Hoodie hanging loose off him like he got dressed in the dark.

His hair’s a mess, flattened on one side and sticking up wildly on the other, like sleep never sat still on him for long.

You stop in the doorway.

He moves like muscle memory—grabbing a glass, filling it at the sink with slow, lazy movements.

Till he finally turns.

Eyes lift.

Land on you.

For one too-long second, he just… blinks.

Like you startled him awake. Like it takes him a full heartbeat to register you standing there in Hattie’s ridiculous borrowed hoodie, with a 'not today' and a dog in a sunglass printed in front, hair slightly damp, looking as tired as you feel.

The fridge door clicks shut behind him.

Neither of you says anything.

Just…

Something heavy and strange and unnameable sits between you.

But you don't dare look away.

That look.

The air shifts.

taglist : @karlosslanders @plastrizz @charlottes-ngvot @siennaluvshcky @cinderellawithashoe @zannete @lonelyladyghost @agaabara @utopiakys @elisaa-shelby @cdej6 @mits-vi @agaabara @wilmonyibo7 @haunteddestinykryptonite@edgyficuselastica@dollyvuu @shadowreader07

lmao first time I posted this—I forgot the tags🤡

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madschiavelique · 7 months ago

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﹒ ✦ 𝐀 𝐂𝐑𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐎𝐅 𝐈𝐍𝐊 : 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟕 — 𝐅𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐬

✦﹒ 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 : you've been avoiding viktor, but as your next homework session comes around, he cannot help but be curious. oh and more tyler

✦﹒ 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 : crude language (not much okay), reader is having thoughtsss

✦﹒ 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓 : 5,6k

✦﹒ 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄 : FIRST OF ALL i was sick and on my periods writing this okay so this is much more of a transitionary chapter than anything for the shitstorm to come, SECOND OF ALL i KNOW it's another 5 of wands chapter i'm sorry i forgot that i had already used this card before THUS i will probably change the card in chapter 4 because i couldn't see any other card working for this one. but i still hope you all will like it <3 (i don't know how many times i wrote "sighed" in this chapter so BEAR WITH ME)

✦﹒ 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐁𝐘 : the lovely @yaffles-world

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓．．𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐃 ．．𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓．．𝐌𝐘 𝐊𝐎-𝐅𝐈

✦﹒ 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 : @doctorho @6selkie @yunloyal @kryscent @hypocritic-trash-baby @kapitankarate @a-lovers-card @ababanerb @lolixsstuff @forget-me-not-my-dear @smolanchovy @shugar0cone0alt @harrys--ferret-blog @suuummerrr @stillinracooncity @noxturnalmoth @dlbitch

Friday arrived for another study session between you and Viktor. The week had flown by, with one particularity: your stubborn avoidance of Viktor, and his stubborn search for you.

During classes, you always managed to find a seat as far away from his as possible. You avoided him in the corridors, ignored him when you crossed his path, and when you were in the library and you noticed him, you packed up your things as quickly as possible to leave.

Since the power cut, you'd been even more keen to avoid Viktor. Although you'd done it before, you'd simply decided you didn't want to interact with him. The last few weeks had been far too full of his presence, and you needed to get away from him both physically and mentally.

The trip to the museum, the lunch with him and Jayce, the hour of detention... Your days were far more filled with him than you would have preferred.

It had been a sudden, almost instinctive choice to get as far away from him as possible.

There was something in the air the evening of the blackout, and even today. A kind of disturbing truth was taking up more and more space in your mind: Viktor wanted to be your friend.

In your eyes, there was always a huge worry about making friends. Your circle was small, and most of your friendships were involuntary, and you were fine with it. You didn't need many friends, you simply kept the ones you trusted. But were you ready to place your trust in Viktor?

Alas, Friday was here, and Viktor was inevitable.

You had arrived a little early at the library, dropping off your things and anticipated for your study by picking up the tomes you would need during this session. The library was already busier than it had been the previous week, with your class mimicking you and Viktor as they set to work on their history topic to avoid working on it at the last minute.

You despised the very idea of doing this assignment, as it brought you too close to your years living in Zaun, to more nightmares every night, to more Viktor. You wanted to get rid of this homework, and you knew full well that to do that you'd have to actually deal with it.

But while he was away, you took the opportunity to take out a sheet of paper and dipped the tip of your quill in one of the pretty inks Eris had given you. You wanted to write to her. You hadn't received any correspondence from her for some time now, and you suspected that she too had other things to worry that were more important than taking the time to sit down and write a letter.

Dear Eris, you began.

The weeks are endless here, and I almost miss the times when the only thing we had to do all day was figure out what to do to avoid dying of boredom till night came. I've welcomed my new flatmate, Sky Young. She's nice - I could have had worse, I doubt I could have had better. Speaking of better…

You raised your feather above the paper for a moment, hesitating over the next part of your sentence. Viktor would be inevitable in this very letter, and the idea frustrated you. No matter what happened, his name was on your mind, always at the corner of your lips, ready to rub against your teeth and sound out like a finger pressing on a trigger before shooting.

Were you going to tell her about your concerns? Were you going to feign disinterest, pretend it was just some guy Jayce had introduced you to?

I'm getting a bit more used to tarot. You write as your sign of progress. This morning I drew the five of wands. From what I gather though, it doesn't look very positive. I should expect it, five guys hitting each other with sticks seems an unlikely interpretation of a general hug.

According to the little booklet, the five of sticks represented: Incendiary events. Protests. Angry people. Drama. Exciting conflicts.

You'd raised your eyebrows as your eyes roamed the rest of the descriptions: New ideas are born of passionate debate. Energy is scattered but if forces work together, powerful results occur. There's a need for unity. You're bothered by people who don't act as you'd hoped. Free yourself by surrendering to the present moment.

Well, that looks promising, you thought. The card was obviously pushing you towards Viktor, and that was bothering you.

You were clinging to what you had, to the past, to the only thing you knew: survival. Viktor was turning your finely constructed ecosystem upside down, as if he were treading on a sandcastle you'd spent hours building on a windy beach.

But something inside you was beginning to creep in; an idea that seemed dangerous, and which a few weeks ago would have seemed quite simply impossible to think of.

What if you tried?

What if you tried not to be so uptight about working with him? What if, for once, you accepted the possibility that this wasn't a competition for your life?

The idea was bitter, weighing you down with anxiety. You went back to writing your letter.

I think I know what the card is leading me to, you confessed, but it is deeply unpleasant. What more can I say... I don't think this letter is going to be very long. I don't have much to tell you, and if I do, I'd rather say it to your face than on a sheet of the Glorious Academy of Piltover. You added useless curls in your writing for the title of the Academy to emphasize the ridicule of its prestigious status. You knew Eris would laugh. Did you get any new exotic payments? Here I'm drowning in copies and bolts, but your inks and herbs keep me company.

You smile for a moment, but the thought of mentioning Viktor keeps running through your mind. You looked around for a moment, as if he would miraculously appear and snatch the letter out of your hand to read it. But nothing, just the serene calm of the library - only the sound of flipped pages as students tried finding some information were keeping you compagny.

You were right about the Emperor. Of course you were. You confessed. A new pupil has arrived and, to top it all, he's beaten me in the league table. I suppose you can imagine how I felt about the situation. Every day is a tooth-and-nail battle with him. To crown it all, we've both been assigned to a collaborative project. Isn't that great? Anyway. I miss you a lot. I can't wait to hear from you. Say hi to Ekko for me.

Ekko was a childhood friend who you spent a lot of time with. It was undoubtedly through his demonstrations of repairs and your afternoons spent working on tinkering projects that your interest in science and engineering was born.

You dipped your quill in your inkwell one last time.

P.S: The name of the Emperor is-

"How long have you been here?"

You almost spilled the inkwell on the table as your eyes rose to Viktor, standing in front of you with his satchel slung over one shoulder.

You sighed. He could at least have made his presence known by clearing his throat, not by standing still and watching you like a cat under his amber eyes. You took your letter, writing his cursed name, followed by yours before blowing on the paper to hasten the drying of the ink.

"Long enough for either of us to fall asleep in Devid's classes," you huffed as you finally folded the sheet in half and tucked it into your notebook to send it later.

He wore a small smirk, gracefully relieving himself of his satchel by pulling it off his shoulder and letting it fall gently to the floor. He sat down opposite you, taking out his things.

"Was Demacian never one of your fortes for you to sleep during his classes?" he asked about Devid, your language teacher. "I thought you'd understand with your wide panel of knowledge."

"I do understand," you corrected him as you picked up a tome to begin your work session. "I'm fluent - I don't need more of what's being said in these classes."

"Why?" he asked, placing his inkwell and notebook on the table. "Ever travelled there?"

"I never travelled outside of here and Zaun," you informed him.

He sighed, looking down at his notes. "Then you don't speak Demacian."

You frowned, raising your head. He met your gaze, waiting for your next remark.

"Why?" you questioned. "Has his royal highness, all full of Runeterrian knowledge, been on a sweet trip to the Great City?"

He arched an eyebrow, his eyes drifting over the small pile of tome to grab one.

"Any idiot knows that learning a language in classes and putting it to practice in the actual region where said language is spoken is a completely different thing."

You remained silent, trying to contain and prevent yourself from giving him the pleasure of answering. You went back to your notes, pressing the binding of your notebook to the table as you jotted down a few more bits of information you managed to find in the new tome you'd selected.

A full minute passed, after which Viktor couldn't help breaking the silence.

"Why are you ignoring me?"

You sighed. Was he a puppy in need of constant attention?

"I'm not ignoring you." You confirmed, not looking up from your notes.

"Fine," he said, searching for a way to continue the conversation, to find the keyword to unlock you. "Why are you avoiding me?"

This time he'd hit the nail on the head. Obviously he hadn't been blind to your dodges, but how could he? He was observant, always making the perfect deductions, and was smart enough to get on your nerves.

"Can we focus and work?" You tried to extricate yourself from the situation.

He sank back in his chair, staring at you for a moment. "Not until you answer my questions."

This time you won his gaze. "Too bad there's no candle for you to bargain information with."

"I can find other ways," he remarked, "Miss."

You tensed at the nickname, your lips pressing together as you leaned on the desk, resting your elbows on it.

"Oh yeah?" you replied, almost amused, "I hope these ways will be as promising as you and Jayce's attempt at cooking on a heater."

He smiled, approaching you in turn. "You seem to have forgotten that I seem to know more about you than you know about me."

"And then I thought I was supposed to be the obsessed one," your brows knit as a curious little smile tried to stretch your lips. "You're not stalking me, are you?"

Your eyes crinkled, scanning his continuously. The days were receding further and further into the night, and the sky outside was gradually turning from cyan to indigo. Under the subdued lights of the library, Viktor's eyes stood out, ever more piercingly under his long brown lashes.

"From what I have heard," he continued, as you both leant on your elbows against the table as if playing chess, "Madam Selene is truly open when it comes to questions asked by her students."

He had just put your king in danger, your lips parting in surprise for a moment before closing again, jaw clenched.

"Surely she won't mind exchanging on the pride that her legal daughter is to her?"

You inhaled heavily, chewing your cheek as his insufferable sneer spread to the corners of his lips again, raising his mole slightly.

You picked up your quill again, avoiding his gaze and letting yours return to your notebook. You dipped it in with a half-open, hesitant mouth as you considered what you were going to say, both to him and on paper.

"I'm avoiding you because I can't get to be friends with my only rival."

He seemed amused by your sentence, as if you were just a child trying to impress an adult by saying something serious and threatening with the latest big word you had learned. He rested his chin on his palm, watching you write, and for an instant you thought of the paper he'd never passed you back during detention. What was he about to say?

"Isn't there an old saying about being close to your opponents?"

"Isn't there this old thing called ‘free will’ that allows me to do whatever I want?"

He shrugged. "Your free will hasn't decided to make you leave this room so far."

You regained his eyes this time, the latter looking through you, trying to peek through the cracks in your facade for a chance to see the lights that resided there.

"Are you challenging my free will? Because I can give it some physical attributes in the scientifically accurate name of 'clenched fists'."

"I'll pass." He sneered. "I'm sure Tyler has had enough lessons on this concept."

Silence fell again. You scanned the lines of another novel where too little information about Zaun was catalogued, while Viktor had not touched his pen. You could feel him in your peripheral vision, watching you, following you relentlessly.

"Am I truly your rival?" He finally asked.

"What else would you be?"

Viktor pouted, straightening slightly. "Being your rival implies having the same goal and fighting for it. I am uncertain if that definition applies to us in this case."

Admittedly, he didn't seem to have the same devotion to his academic results as you did, which frustrated you deeply. But what about the second option he cited?

"In the Academy, we all have the same goal," you replied, watching him for a moment before returning to your notes.

There was another pause on the table, and you thought that perhaps this time he would start working. But he didn't.

"I want a truce."

You looked up, raising an eyebrow.

"...Okay," you finally say, picking up another book, "good for you."

"I mean it, Miss," he insisted. "I think you've had it wrong on me-" But you cut him off.

“What are you implying?” you asked, annoyed at beating around the bush when you seemed to be the only one working right now.

"I'm not implying," Viktor nuanced, "I am saying."

"Saying?" You shook your head, waiting for the next part.

"Yes. You know, that thing that one can do with the possession of a mouth and vocal cords? You've become an expert at it just through this conversation,” he remarked as he straightened up and grabbed his pencil, twirling it between his fingers, "as it is the most we have spoken together in a week."

"Well then, conversation doesn't seem to be such a dying art anymore now does it?" you remarked.

Viktor smiled. "You seem to like quoting me."

You stared at him, raising your eyebrows and sighing. "I'm going to use unparalleled verbal condescension: shush." Your eyes returned to the tome you were working on. "This is a library, not a café."

"You've never spat in mine, by the way, reassure me?"

"After wasting my spit talking to you, I doubt I'd waste any more in your coffee."

He didn't say a word, but you knew he was smiling. Facing you, painfully fiddling with his pen as if this whole thing was some meagre task he could afford to procrastinate on.

You hated this attitude, the simple fact that he didn't seem to work to achieve his goals, that it was innate when you had struggled to rise so high for so long.

"I mean it," he said, straightening up, putting aside his teasing tone for a moment, "for the truce."

You looked up at him, his expression unfamiliar to you. There was something gentle in his piercing gaze, as if he saw something in you that was worth seeing. You sighed, thinking for a moment.

Would this childish quarrel last until the end of the year? Would you still consider him an enemy when you could have made a new friend? Friendships didn't come your way every day - you were well aware of that. But were you ready to put aside your stubbornness after the various humiliations he had put you through?

“What would a truce even mean?” you finally asked, somehow intent on hearing more.

His lips stretched slightly as his eyes widened. He shrugged.

“I don't know,” he admitted, ”I never thought I'd go this far with you, on this topic.”

Your shoulders slumped.

“Then think of something to say next time after we finish working on this.” You returned to your page, rereading your notes. “I'll take the subjects of Boundary Markets, Cultivairs, and Hope House Orphanage. One location for each level. You should pick three too.”

“Hope House Orphanage?” He repeated, mind finally concentrating on the exposé. “That's the only good thing that can be talked about in such a level.”

You turned a few pages of your notes, running through the lines of your research.

“There's always Old Hungry,” you remarked, voice lower.

The Old Hungry was a gigantic mechanized clock tower that grew from the very depth of Zaun and built itself up till levels that could reach some of Piltover's buildings. It was too imposing to avoid, and too full of history to be left aside in the presentation.

“Old Hungry? This old scrap doesn't even give time anymo-”

“It's the Heart of Zaun,” you cut in. “It's unavoidable to talk about it anyway.”

“Why don't you take it if you're so adamant about it being on our work?”

You remembered its size, the dark wingspan and the wind blowing through the dusty gears of the Old Hungry.

“I'd rather you be the one to take it.” you confirmed.

“Why?”

“Because. Don't you want to take it?”

“Do you want to get rid of it?”

You exchanged a look with him, urging him not to be picky.

“Why are you being so mysterious about all of this?” he questioned, eyebrows furrowed.

“You seem to have forgotten that you seem to know more about me than I know about you,” you repeated, annoyed.

“Shall I ask Selene?” he said ironically.

“I fear asking her this would be a limit placed both in her knowledge about this as well as your questions for her.”

He gazed at you for a moment, clearly frustrated by the secrets, the things left unsaid. You stood up, returning the tomes you'd already read to their shelves. Viktor stood up, following you.

“Acting tough will not make it hurt any less,” he said as you climbed the steps of the ladder and he reached its base. “You know this, yes?”

You suppressed a sigh as you placed one of the tomes on the shelf, arranging it perfectly in line.

“I don't need any of your life lessons,” you remarked, placing the extra tomes. “Can you move the ladder to the left?”

“You know the magic word,” he almost crooned.

You scoffed, not intending to give it to him so easily. You leaned to the side, watching, tiptoeing to reach one of the too few tomes on Zaun in the entire library.

Viktor seemed amazed at how stubborn you could prove to be, especially about him.

“Don't tell me your leitmotif resides in what doesn't kill you makes you stronger?” he questioned as you leaned dangerously toward the books.

“My leitmotif,” you pointed out as you almost reached the binding of the tome you were after, “resides in what doesn't kill you disappoints me-”

You'd reached the book, but your sentence was cut off at the end by your sharp gasp of breath. You'd just lost your balance, your feet slipping off the ladder step as you felt the air rush beneath you and expected to slam heavily into the ground.

The sound of something falling to the floor echoed, the sensation of hands on your back and waist catching you off the ground. Your heart pounding with the shock of sudden fear, you realized what had just happened in the blink of an eye: Viktor had caught you in your fall.

You could feel his thin fingers, warm and tentative, resting on the vest of your uniform around your waist. He held you there, firmly, and you felt your back brush against his chest, his breath landing on the nape of your neck and raising the hairs on it.

You released yourself from his grip and turned to face him, suddenly backing away, heart still pounding, but unable to differentiate whether this was due to the suddenness of the fall, or something else.

He seemed just as surprised as you were, lips parted. He didn't seem to be about to make a condescending remark, a joke about your lack of balance that could be matched by his, nothing.

You leaned back against the shelf, trying to calm yourself as your muscles relaxed from the apprehension of your fall.

There was a moment of quiet, a moment when, for once, neither of you knew what to say to the other. Your eyes fell to the ground, where Viktor's cane had fallen. You swallowed on a dry throat, inhaling to try and grain back your thoughts.

You knelt down to pick it up, straightening up to hand it back to him. He studied you for a moment, his eyes fixed on yours. He brought his hand tentatively up to the handle of his cane, stretched out towards him.

“Did you mean it?” you asked in a low voice as his hand reached the pommel, his thin, long fingers a minute ago resting on your waist wrapping elegantly and slowly around his cane.

“The truce?” he questioned, his voice almost reaching the whisper, as if he feared any higher volume would burst the delicacy of this bubble you were both in.

You let go of the cane, leaning back against the bookcase again, like a prop, like your crutch.

“The other night,” you began, eyes lowered to your feet on the floor, ”you said that it seemed impossible to me that you wanted to learn more about me, out of genuine curiosity. And now, you said you wanted a truce.” You raised your head, straightening to look at him. “Did you mean it, all of this?”

You felt very small, as if you were walking and, in the middle of the nettles, had found a patch of grass where you could put your feet without stinging yourself.

He seemed touched, but this emotion seemed to give way to confusion.

“Why wouldn't I mean it?”

Why would you mean it? you wondered. You'd had enough examples of how trust was doomed to fail you. You pulled yourself upright, drawing your armour back over you, closing your heart before it went beyond the confines of your chest.

“Oh sorry,” you resumed, sarcastically. “I forgot how through your many gallantries in our discussions you have evidently shown to be the most agreeable young man in the world.”

He smiled, his cheerful attitude back in place in the blink of an eye. “I cannot deny that exchanging with someone like you brings out the more playful part of me.”

“Someone like me?” you stressed, almost offended.

“Yes,” he confirmed. “Your morals are like a legend - rumoured to exist, but no proof to back it up.”

You sighed, rolling your eyes as you started walking back to your table. “My expectations for you were low when asking this, but somehow you still failed to meet them...”

But your sentence had died on its end, as not far from your table, an unfortunately familiar, tall figure with blond curls stood.

Fuck. Tyler.

Seeing you reappear from between the shelves, he noticed you both, a cheeky grin spreading across his face as he strode towards you.

“Ah,” he smiled as he approached you, ”my tormentors.”

You sighed, standing by your table as he reached the height of your chair. “You again.”

“What?” He chuckled, feigning offense as he rested his hand on his chest. “Aren't you pleased to see me?” He arched an eyebrow. “I'm sure you've got another one of these filthy Zaunite, barbaric lessons to give me.”

“You wish you were worth the effort.” You huffed, moving closer to your chair, but he came between you and it.

You glared at him, who seemed satisfied with your reaction. He turned to Viktor.

“Your dog's got quite the bite, Moravec.” His eyes settled on you again, watching you up and down until they returned to yours. “Where did you get one of those?”

You breathed heavily, the annoyance of his remarks demeaning you to a supposedly docile and pliable being making your blood boil.

“Turns out she has a mouth and proper aligned thoughts that you could not fathom reaching, Tyler.” Viktor pointed out, coming to sit in his respective place.

The blond watched you, not letting go of your eyes for a moment as he took a step back and took his place in your chair. “How noisy insects are this time of year.”

And he was proud, of his insolence, of his overflowing egotism, which he displayed like the most expensive and chic jacket he owned in his priceless wardrobe.

“Tyler,” you began, inhaling as you tried to calm yourself, “‘piss off.’”

“Such a soft language.” He sneered, lounging in your chair as if he'd ordered its manufacture himself. Who knows, maybe all the academy's furniture rested on his family's finances. “Do they all speak like that in Zaun?”

“Why? Wanna go visit?” You inquired, crossing your arms over your chest. “I wonder what'll get taken first, your pretty blonde locks, or your tongue.”

You played on his unfamiliarity with the city, his prejudices ingrained in his mind, unfolding a terrain of fictitious threats that could be very useful to you.

It had its effect. For a slight moment, you noticed the concern in his eyes, a very silent ‘... is that true?’ that didn't cross the boundary between his mind and lips.

“My patron came to me.” He confessed, looking away as if ignoring you. “Seems like your detention ran a bit short, didn't it?”

You heard Viktor chuckle, but didn't even turn around. “It's just like you said, Miss,” he remarked, leaning forward on the table. “Looks like he is obsessed with us."

“You're not worth a thought.” Tyler spat, obviously insulted by Viktor's remark. He turned to you, grabbing one of your pencils to play with like it was his. “Didn't know you had your own patron, though.”

“Let me guess.” You sighed, placing your weight on one of your hips as you stood. “Your little clever mind aligned two dots and thought that Zaun and Patron together was an impossible combination of words here in the Academy.”

He was amused, but obviously annoyed. You must have touched a reality in his reasoning that he didn't like you to know.

“This one was a second thought.” He admitted all the same. “The first was,” he leaned in slightly, “how the hell does a girl as irascible as you managed to pull any social strings to get yourself a patron?”

You giggled. He was trying to push your buttons. Perhaps he was simply a masochist, you considered, perhaps he had a pronounced desire for humiliation. Or perhaps he was just profoundly stupid.

“Funny, I thought the same thing about you when I met you.” You offered him a smile that possessed no warmth. “But I guess walking around with a golden spoon in your mouth and shitting in silk sheets during your childhood up until now must have its advantages. Right, Hoskel?"

Tyler frowned, hemming his lower lip in anger. His eyes shifted from yours to Viktor's. “She truly is-”

But you cut him off, placing both hands on the table and leaning towards him. “She is in front of you. And she,” your voice darkened, ”can add some new marks on your face to match the blue of your eyes.”

Tyler tensed, the seriousness in your stare convincing him for a moment that your threats weren't empty words, but promises that would come true if necessary.

He let out a nervous laugh, nodding as if you'd just given him a most satisfying demonstration. He was probably thinking, right then and there, that he was safe. That on the floor of the Academy, you wouldn't repeat the violent acts that had earned you an hour's detention.

“You, are a tough one, my friend.” He laughed. “You still have the essence of your hometown so far, you as well as he.” He turned to Viktor. “Paint stripes on a toad, it'll never make it a tiger.

Your blood ran hot, the sentence like an iron that had just burned your skin raw. You gripped his tie, pulling so hard that Tyler nearly stumbled and strangled on it as you pulled him towards your face, your face twisted with hatred.

His eyes were filled with a new fear as you rumbled, your voice low. “Say that again, and I'll fucking kill you.”

His chest bulged and sagged rapidly as his shoulders were up to his ears in fear, stressing as your knuckles turned white under the tight grip you had on his tie.

He swallowed, staying that way until, in the blink of an eye, his gaze landed on your lips.

The simple act brought you back to the reality of your proximity, of your two faces so close together that anyone could have considered this something intimate. You let go of his tie as if it carried an infection, as if it had suddenly become so hot that you had to let go of it at all costs. You frowned, stepping back, watching Tyler as he breathed just as heavily.

The great doors of the library opened, and the tiny silhouette of Heimerdinger poked his pink nose into the room. This was enough for you to put aside the previous event, same for Viktor and Tyler who both turned to the professor in surprise.

You eyes widened, straightening up as he strode contentedly towards the center of the room. What was Heimerdinger doing here?

It was unusual to find teachers in the library, and obviously all the students around you seemed just as confused about the situation. He trotted on, making his way to the very center of the room under the curious gazes of students.

“Young folks,” he called, “I have an announcement to make. Please gather around me, so that I don't have to see you all one by one in the immensity of this room."

The students exchanged surprised glances, approaching him. You looked at Viktor, who was frowning. He stood up. You approached Heimerdinger. When a small arc had formed around the professor, he cleared his throat.

“I would have liked to have waited until our next class to tell you,” he admitted, “but with the news just in and the weekend coming up, I thought it wiser to tell you as soon as possible.”

Everyone was hanging on his every word.

“You see, we've been communicating for some time, the Academy members and myself, with The Great Demacia University.”

Murmurs began to rise in the tiny group of students, whispers about the white region running through the air.

“And we have concluded, after many very promising exchanges, that a few classes from the Piltover Academy will have the privilege of traveling to Demacia as part of a school trip.”

Surprise filled the room. A school trip?

"The Academy and I,” continued Heimerdinger as he walked hands behind his back, the two elements of his sentence simply inseparable, ”consider it a real cultural benefit to be able to organize such a program to link our two schools. The trip will therefore take place in a month and a half's time.”

Some of the students laughed, the joy of the news filling them. The idea of a school trip puzzled you. You'd never left Piltover or Zaun. You'd always clung on to those two towns, and upsetting that perspective was something you hadn't quite figured out yet. But it would undoubtedly be a good way of discovering new horizons, of not having to confine yourself to the same landscape of two cities you didn't like for different reasons.

However, your thoughts paused for a moment, as you sensed that Heimerdinger hadn't finished with his announcement.

“Yes, I know.” He chirped. “The excitement of a new journey is not a small thing in young souls. However, an event such as this deserves an organizational rearrangement.”

And that's where things got complicated.

“First of all, your duet presentations that were due in two weeks' time have now been determined by myself into an overall assignment for your year.”

The majority of students rejoiced, but your heart fell into your stomach. An assignment, spread out over the whole year, that you were to do with none other than Viktor as your sole partner in this work?

You exchanged a glance with him, the latter seeming unaffected, neither hot nor cold.

“And...” The professor resumed. “The planning of this event alone will eat up a good two weeks of this year. Consequently-” Silence fell, everyone waiting for the end of his sentence, "the exams in each subject for this semester have been brought closer together, and will therefore take place in two weeks’ time.”

Your lips parted, as if the apocalypse had just been added to your diary.

Two weeks. You had two weeks to study everything. Two weeks to get to know everything.

Two weeks to overtake Viktor and regain your place at the top of the ranking.

✦﹒ 𝐍𝐄𝐗𝐓 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑

#a crown of ink #acoi #viktor x reader #viktor x you #viktor fic #viktor x y/n #arcane viktor x reader #arcane viktor #arcane viktor x you #viktor arcane #viktor arcane x reader #viktor arcane x you #arcane x reader #arcane x you #arcane #viktor

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capuccinodoll · 2 months ago

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— A haunted body, part two: "In a lifeless memory, there you belong" ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧⋆ ˚｡⋆‧₊˚ (jackson!joel x f!reader)

fic masterlist | ao3 | capuccinodollupdates | previous chapter | next chapter

— Chapter summary: After two weeks of seeing Joel almost every single day, you start crafting quiet little strategies, soft edges to try and smooth the sharpness between you. But he seems resistant, like the idea of letting you close the gap is something he’s not ready to consider. wc: 11k

A/N: I love u joel i don't care if you're an asshole. Don't forget to let me know your opinion in the comments, it helps me a lot! <3 (TAG LIST OPEN)

Jackson. Early, early morning.

When you were little, there was a girl in your class who made a habit of bothering you. Nothing major, just enough to make your stomach twist when you saw her in the hallway. One morning, sitting beside your father in the car outside the school, you told him about her. He listened in silence, nodding once or twice. Then, he said, “You should ignore her. And if you have to treat her, treat her nicely. Don’t rise to it. That’s what she wants. Do you understand?”

You nodded. And you did exactly as he said.

At first, it confused her. She tried harder for a day or two, needled you with more effort, as if trying to provoke a reaction she could count on. But when you gave her nothing back (no anger, no tears) she seemed to lose interest.

By the end of the week, she asked if you wanted to play with her during recess. You did.

You never forgot that, how choosing not to retaliate could feel like a kind of quiet power. Your father was good at that kind of thing. Advice that didn’t expire.

So this morning, after a restless night, you got out of bed earlier than usual and made up your mind. You’d be kind. Or at the very least, unshakable.

It had been two weeks since you started working alongside Joel. Fourteen days of exchanging only the necessary words, of him speaking to you like a coworker he neither trusted nor disliked, just tolerated. And maybe he didn't even do that.

Every morning you walked into the office, nodded at him, and took your place at the other desk. You filed through the day’s assignments; who was scheduled to patrol, who needed supplies, who was still waiting on repairs for faulty plumbing or a leaking roof.

Sometimes you'd go out with Joel to inspect the repairs. You carried your notebook and wrote down what the volunteers needed, the things Joel said under his breath as he ran his hand along cracked drywall or faulty beams. You didn’t ask questions, only noted what mattered. That time, Tommy looked over your notes and the two of them agreed that the Fisher house needed priority; there was a child involved, five years old, and their walls were practically coming apart.

That was the rhythm of your mornings now: paperwork, coordination, quiet observation. Joel barely acknowledged you, but you didn’t take it personally anymore. You’d gotten good at the job. Better than expected. You were fast, you remembered names, and people liked you—at least, enough to stop you in the hallway to say hi, or ask if you’d seen their gloves, or if Joel was really as grumpy as he seemed.

You’d found yourself thinking about your father a lot last week; his voice in the car, his hand on the steering wheel, the way he always made things sound easier than they actually were.

Maybe that’s why, this morning, you got up earlier than usual.

The sun hadn’t fully settled over Jackson yet. Everything outside looked pale and rinsed out. The crisp early-hour bite flushed your cheeks pink by the time you walked into the office. You loved the smell of it.

You shrugged off your coat and hung it on the rack, fingers numb and tingling as they left the fabric. Your eyes still felt puffy from sleep.

Joel’s desk was already cluttered, as if it, too, had started the day before he had. A notebook sat open, pages crumpled at the corners. There were pens scattered like breadcrumbs across the surface, a few maps rolled into loose cylinders, and a white ceramic mug stained at the rim. Empty, as usual.

Without thinking too much, you picked up the mug and stepped out into the hallway. A few steps down was the shared kitchen. It was barely big enough to fit two people comfortably, but it had what mattered: a chipped oven no one used, a stainless steel sink, and, most importantly, a coffee maker that always smelled a little bit burnt.

No one really used the kitchen all that much. Just you and Joel. Lately, it felt like you were the only one keeping it company.

You turned on the tap and let the water run warm before washing the mug carefully, the way you'd do your own. It wasn’t much, but you had noticed a pattern. Joel came in every day, usually right on the edge of eight o’clock, washed the same mug, made tea or coffee (that is, if he was lucky enough to have a little bit of it) drank it down, repeat a few times, and left the mug behind for tomorrow.

You thought maybe this one gesture might shift something, even if just for you. So you filled the machine, let it gurgle and spit to life, and stood there in the quiet kitchen as the smell of it spread into the corners.

A group had come through a few days ago, bringing coffee with them, real one, the type of grain that made the whole place smell delicious. You had no idea what kind of deal Joel had made, what he'd traded or promised or given up, but somehow, he ended up with a decent stash.

That morning, when you walked in and the scent hit you, it stopped you in your tracks. It reminded you of mornings back home, before everything changed. Of your dad, already dressed for work, sipping from a chipped mug. Of your mom singing in the kitchen. Of cereal boxes and rushed ponytails and school shoes you never liked.

You thought about asking Joel for a cup. Or a sip. Just a little. But it felt like too much somehow.

Later, without a word, Tommy handed you a jar. Just placed it in your hands. You didn’t ask how he got it. You just took it, and let yourself smile, a little.

Now, back at your desk, you poured yourself a cup and sat with your legs tucked under you, the book Audrey had lent you open across your lap. She worked in the kitchen most days and was always recommending you books or telling you about wich one she hated. You liked her.

You sipped the coffee. It tasted a little bitter but it was good, warm. A luxury, to be honest.

Outside, the morning light stretched further down the town. And you watched it move while the room stayed still. This place was nice, comfortable. You liked how safe it felt, the office. Apart from everything, big windows letting you spy over the streets. A real voyeur, just a little.

When you looked at the clock again, it read 7:46 a.m.

Fourteen minutes. You didn’t hear his boots yet, but you would soon. He was nothing if not consistent. And today, for once, you were ready before him.

You stood up from your chair. The office was still quiet.

You walked into the kitchen, holding your empty mug, and turned on the faucet. The warm water ran over your hands.

A couple of minutes passed like that, silence between walls and doors. And then you heard it; the sound of the front door opening. Heavy footsteps, measured, tired, familiar. Joel didn’t stop. He walked past the kitchen without looking in, the thud of his boots leading straight into the office. A beat later, the scrape of his chair echoed, followed by a tired, worn-out exhale that sounded like he was already annoyed.

You didn’t rush. You just took his mug from the counter and poured more coffee into it, plain and black, the way he drank it every morning. You didn’t need to ask. You already knew.

When you stepped back into the office, he hadn’t noticed you right away. Then, he startled (just slightly) and turned to look. His eyes widened for a second, body tensing before recognition caught up to him. His brows furrowed, and he exhaled again, sharper this time. You scared him. The way you’d managed to catch him off guard made something flicker inside you, something funny and smug that you tried not to show.

You set the mug down on his desk.

“What’s that?” he asked. You were walking back to your own desk, your back to him.

“Coffee.” You lowered yourself into the chair.

“I know it’s coffee. I can smell it.”

“ So?”

He picked up his notebook with exaggerated purpose, flipped to a page he probably didn’t need to read. His eyes never met yours.

“You’re early,” he said finally.

“I know.”

A heavy sigh. The notebook dropped back onto the desk with a dull slap.

“I take my coffee without sugar,” he said, looking up now, his expression bordering on accusatory. He was waiting for a misstep, a reason to dismiss the gesture.

“I know.”

He didn’t speak. Just stared for a few beats too long.

Then, he cleared his throat, and without breaking eye contact, reached for the mug.

He brought it to his lips and took a sip.

You didn’t look away. You wanted to see the exact moment he realized he had nothing to complain about.

Then, without a word, he placed the mug back on the desk, his fingers brushing the ceramic for a moment too long.

His eyes dropped to whatever was in front of him.

“Sean asked to switch partners,” he said, eyes shifting toward the whiteboard behind his desk, eyes landing on something you couldn’t see. “Says Leo gets too distracted. Ain’t the first time I’ve heard that.”

You didn’t reply. You just let your mouth curve slightly at the corners, unseen.

For the next hour, he didn’t speak much. He moved through the room without saying where he was going or why. He leafed through folders, erased a few words from the board, wrote down new ones. Every few minutes, he’d sigh, a soft exhale that seemed to come more from habit than frustration. You didn’t ask questions. You just worked beside him, familiar now with the rhythms of your shared silence.

It wasn’t until he came back up from downstairs that you stood. You reached for your coat on the rack near the door and pulled it on, smoothing the sleeves as you turned back around.

“I’ll be back in a moment,” you told him, not expecting a response.

You didn’t get one, anyway. So you stepped into the hallway, hands tucked into your coat pockets, offering a wave to the two men heading toward the stairs. They nodded back, mid-conversation.

Outside, the sun hit your skin nice and tender. It softened your cheeks.

Jackson was awake now. You could feel it; people living, moving, talking. Something warm and cooked bewitched you as you neared the dining hall, and your stomach responded before you could think.

“Hey, Snow,” someone called behind you, just as you reached the bar inside the place.

You turned. It was Lucas, walking toward you with a worn clipboard in one hand and a beanie barely covering his ears.

“How are you?” he asked, falling into step beside you. “Can I run something by you?”

You nodded, still heading toward the bar. “Of course.”

Lucas followed without hesitation, already launching into a description of a structural issue near the east exit; something about the door, rot setting into the wood where the wall met the ground. You listened, pulling details into a mental list you knew you’d jot down later. The kind of thing Tommy and Maria would want to hear about before someone else noticed.

Ten minutes later, you set a brown paper bag down on Joel’s desk. Soft sound, but but he looked up immediately.

His brows knitted, not in anger exactly, but in that vague, unsettled way he had.

“Lucas says the east exit’s getting worse,” you said, not giving him time to ask. “Rotten wood near the base of the door. Snow and last week’s rain didn’t help.”

You turned away before he could answer, dropped your own bag onto your desk, the motion casual and maybe even careless.

You took off your coat, shook it out a little, and hung it on the hook beside the door, just to his left. When you passed him again, you felt his eyes on you.

“What is this?” he asked, eyes back on the bag like it might explode.

You didn’t stop moving. Just walked to your chair, pulled it in, opened your own bag with a practiced flick of your fingers.

“Food,” you said. “Breakfast.”

Joel didn’t answer right away. You heard the paper crinkle as he peeked inside.

“Why’d you bring me food?”

You flipped open your book, the spine soft from overuse.

“Thought you might be hungry,” you said, keeping your voice light. “Figured I’d take a chance.”

“You don’t know what I—”

“It’s a breakfast sandwich,” you interrupted, without looking up. “Egg. Cheese. Chicken.”

You tilted your head slightly, pretending to read, though your eyes hadn’t moved past the first sentence.

When you finally glanced up, Joel was still staring at you. Or maybe through you. His face was unreadable, but his mouth was set like he was preparing something to say.

“Sure,” he muttered eventually, and stood, lifting his empty mug as he did. “Thanks.”

You watched him cross the room without another word, stepping through the doorway with his shoulders pulled slightly back.

“Anytime,” you said into the space he’d left behind.

You could see it happening, confusion settling into his body. His posture shifting, narrowing eyes, as if he was trying to piece together a puzzle that had started rearranging itself without his permission.

Joel had come in expecting resistance. He was ready for it, even. Braced for your irritation like someone ducking before a storm that never quite arrived. And yet, there you were, soft-spoken, steady, placing things in front of him like he hadn’t raised his voice last week or shut a door a little too hard just yesterday.

You hadn’t forgotten. He had saved your life; yes, that much was true. But that didn’t grant him a free pass to act like a man untouched by consequence. Still, you were careful with him in a way he hadn’t earned but also hadn’t asked for. Not lately, anyway. He wasn’t cruel, not anymore. Just curt. And you had met curt before. You had shared days and nights with curt, loved curt, worked beside curt. You’d healed in the aftermath of people much harsher, more dismissive. Joel didn’t scare you.

Over the following days, it became a quiet pattern.

When he walked in (always early, always scowling) you slid a mug of hot coffee or tea across the table toward him. No commentary. Just a quiet “Good morning,” spoken without inflection. Each time, his brow creased like he was trying to read you through you. He didn’t say thank you. Didn’t complain either. You could tell he noticed the drink was good. He drank it all, every time.

You didn’t coddle him. You weren’t interested in becoming one of those people who believed gruffness equaled depth.

Most days it was just coffee. Once, on a Thursday, you added a plate with a slice of apple pie you’d got from the dining hall, because you’d had too much and he looked like he needed sugar and softness. But that was it. You weren’t going to make a habit out of kindness for the sake of earning anything back.

On Friday, you climbed the stairs without thinking much about it, already mentally checking off tasks for the morning.

You passed the kitchen on your way to the office, but something pulled you back.

Two steps. That was all.

Joel was already there, pouring coffee into his mug, shoulders hunched like they always were this early. He didn’t turn to look at you.

“Mornin',” he murmured. His voice came out rougher than usual, sleep clinging to it like sand.

You smiled, just slightly. A breath of a laugh left your nose.

You didn’t say anything. Just walked past him.

When you reached the office, you glanced up at the clock on the wall. 7:12 a.m. What a fucker.

You shrugged out of your coat, hung it on the back of your chair and sat, unzipping your backpack and reaching for a book. Not the one you’d been reading all week, a new one. Something about plant behavior and cellular memory, lent to you yesterday by Zach, the guy from the greenhouse who always smelled of rosemary and talked too much about soil. You didn’t open it. Just laid it on the desk beside you.

Joel appeared in the doorway a moment later, mug in hand. Blank expression.

He set the mug down with a thud and lowered himself into his chair.

“Not respondin' to a good mornin' is kind of rude,” he said.

You laughed. Not loudly, just one of those involuntary little sounds that catches in the back of your throat and comes out anyway. Because of course he would say that. It was absurd. Coming from him, it almost felt like satire.

You didn’t give him the satisfaction of an answer. Just stood, smoothing your palms over the edge of the desk before heading out of the room and down the hall.

In the quiet kitchen, soft and yellow lights were bright over the counter as you made a single cup of coffee, taking your time measuring everything, pouring water.

When you came back, he was exactly where you'd left him.

The minutes that followed felt thick. You sipped your coffee slowly. Occasionally, you let your eyes wander to where he sat, glasses perched low on his nose, flipping through a tattered magazine that looked like it had been rescued from a waiting room.

You could tell he wasn’t really reading. His fingers moved too fast, the pages turned too frequently. That or he was the fastest reader alive. No. He was just there. Killing time. Sitting in your space, doing nothing, possibly for the sole purpose of making his own damn coffee without you touching his mug.

Then, without warning, he spoke.

“I can feel you watchin’.” He didn’t look up. Just said it like it had been on his tongue for a while. “’Another thing that’s rude.”

“I wasn’t watching you. Don’t flatter yourself.”

You turned a page in the book you still hadn’t started reading.

“You’re early today,” you added, not looking up.

“That’s right.”

You waited, but nothing else came.

“You do the same thing all the time,” you said after a few moments. “Don’t you think that’s rude?”

Joel looked up, not sure he’d heard you correctly.

You leaned back in your chair.

“You ignore my greetings. You stare at me without saying anything. You do it constantly. Doesn’t that seem rude when you do it?”

He didn’t answer right away. His eyes stayed on you, unreadable as always, and then he set the magazine down. Removed his glasses and folded them carefully.

“That’s why you didn’t answer me earlier?” he asked finally. “You tryin’ to make a point?”

You tilted your head slightly, the corners of your mouth not quite smiling.

“Mmm, no, Joel,” you said, resting your forearms on the desk in front of you. “I’m not trying to prove anything to you.”

A quiet sigh slipped out of his nose, and he went back to the magazine, flipping and flipping through the pages.

You let him be, in pure easy silence.

Eventually, when footsteps began echoing in the hallway and voices started filling the space outside the room, Joel glanced at the clock.

He stood up.

“I should go,” he said, adjusting the cuff of his sleeve. “Time for patrol.”

You looked at him, confused. “What?”

“I’m coverin’ for Leo.” No explanation, no elaboration.

You watched him step out into the hallway. And even after he was gone, the question stayed with you: Why the hell had he come so early just to sit around doing nothing? Just to stop you from making coffee?

By the time the clock hit eleven, Tommy appeared.

He skimmed through the notes you’d written down, nodding here and there, murmuring things under his breath as he read. Then you both walked outside together; he told you about something Benji had done the day before and how fast the kid was growing. You laughed, but inside your chest there was a painful pinch. He talked about Maria, his tone shifting when he mentioned her, softened like a sunbeam catching on glass. Thw way he smiled made your chest ache just a little, even more than before.

There was something about watching them that settled somewhere deep inside you. A warmth that didn’t feel naïve. Just rare. Sweet. Because in the middle of a world that had broken and bent so many people, they’d found each other. And more than that, they’d built something. Were building something. Brick by brick, hour by hour. Maria especially. She was steel wrapped in skin. A woman who had brought life into this hollowed-out world and refused to let it crush her. You admired her deeply, in the quiet way women admire other women, with something closer to reverence than envy.

Here, in the remains of the world, they were still choosing hope. Choosing to make space for the new. And that, to you, felt pretty fucking extraordinary.

The world, as you knew it, had never been gentle. It had teeth. And it had taken everything from you with them.

But that kind of loss didn’t happen all at once, though. It unraveled in fragments, in quiet disappearances and sudden, brutal moments. Sometimes the violence was so abrupt it felt almost impossible. Other times it dragged out, long and clumsy and cruel. You’d lived through both kinds.

Your parents were the first to go. Not to infection, not to panic or blood or fire. A traffic accident. You were still a child, almost a year before the outbreak. The world was intact, more or less. You remembered the sound of the phone ringing, someone else’s voice delivering the news, the way everything after that moment felt thin and bright and unreal, and so so painful.

It was the most painful thing you’d experienced then. And yet, somewhere deep in your chest, you’d come to feel a kind of twisted gratitude that they didn’t have to see what came next. They didn’t have to live through the collapse. Or through what it made of people.

You did.

The years after their deaths blurred into the first scattered pieces of survival. You were shuffled between shelters and checkpoints and concrete rooms that stank of bleach and death. Men in uniforms who looked through you. Rations passed over counters by hands that didn’t shake yours. Cold eyes, cold hands and no humanity whatsoever.

You were alone for a long time. Not metaphorically, literally.

Then, at fourteen, you met Frances. And for the first time in what felt like years, someone looked at you like you were still human. Like you mattered. You stayed close to her after that, clung to her like you would’ve clung to a lifeboat in the middle of a black sea. Fingers gripping hard to hers.

At sixteen, the two of you ran away. No plan. No destination. Just the shared understanding that whatever waited for you outside the walls was less terrifying than what was happening inside them.

The next few years were a mixture of hunger and fleeting safety. But you found people—your people. Gabriel. Pia. Robert. Each of them bruised and resourceful.

Pia and Robert were married, both in their fifties, and had the kind of tenderness between them that you hadn’t realized was still possible. Robert had been a cop once. He still moved like one. Gabriel, on the other hand, was barely older than you, lean and quiet, with kind eyes that tracked every sound.

And Frances... Frances was still your anchor.

You were a makeshift family, built from necessity and luck and a strange, tender kind of loyalty. You shared food, watched each other’s backs, stayed warm by the same fires. You were never supposed to be apart.

Then Frances got pregnant. With Gabriel’s child.

And the dynamics, so carefully held in place, began to shift.

At first it was manageable. But as her belly grew, so did the risk. She tired faster, moved differently, couldn’t outrun the kinds of danger that used to just brush against your group. Still, no one abandoned her. You would never. Neither would Gabriel. Pia and Robert were endlessly gentle with her, even more than before.

Eventually, you found the cabin. Abandoned, weather-worn, but intact. It made you believe, if only for a second, that things could maybe, possibly, hold.

You stayed. A few days. That was all.

That last night, you were talking about the baby. She was almost full term, hands curling instinctively toward her stomach. You laughed, really laughed. Frances had a way of pulling that out of you. Around her, you could still be soft. Still be young. She made you feel like the version of yourself you’d been before the world twisted everything out of shape.

She loved fiercely. Not just Gabriel. Not just the baby. She loved you too, in a way that was simple and unselfish. And she was the first person who’d ever made you believe that you deserved to be loved back.

Nothing could’ve prepared you for the way it ended.

The raiders came after midnight. You didn’t hear them at first, but later, you'd wonder if you'd sensed something before it began. Some tiny ripple? Some unplaceable unease?

They had been watching, you’d find out later. Waiting until you had just enough worth stealing.

You remembered the screams. Frances’s, sharp and ragged, as labor overtook her in the middle of the chaos. Gabriel, bleeding out just feet away. Robert shot. Pia's body crumpled against the hallway wall. You remembered how silence descended in pieces, punctuated by the wet sounds of dying.

And you. Still breathing.

Death passed over you like smoke. You should have died. Maybe you did, in some invisible way. But your body stayed.

So did Frances, for a little while longer. Just long enough to give birth to a baby you held in your arms, shaking, sobbing, rocking back and forth on the floor while the house burned around you, metaphorically or otherwise. You don't remember screaming. But you must have. You must have.

And then—

The door slammed behind you. A sharp sound. Present. Real. It pulled you out of the memory with a jolt, like someone tugging a cord that had been wrapped tight around your ribs.

You blinked. The room reassembled around you. And you were no longer that twenty-year-old girl soaked in death and blood and grief. You were here.

Still breathing.

“So how’s it goin' with Joel?” He asked as the two of you walked across the dining hall. He gestured toward a table by one of the windows, where the morning light fell unevenly.

You lifted your shoulders in a vague shrug, a noncommittal answer you hoped might pass for honesty. Yeah, we're doing good.

“It’s... normal,” you said, not sure what that even meant.

Tommy’s mouth tugged into a grin as he dropped into his seat.

“Ah, I see. But you’ve adjusted really well. It shows.”

You pulled the chair across from him and sat down, tucking one leg underneath you as your eyes flicked to the window.

“You think so?”

“Sure. Listen,” he leaned in slightly, lowering his voice like this was something meant only for you. “I think you’re doin’ a great job. Really. But if you’d feel more comfortable in a different job, or with someone else, just say the word. I know Joel can be... hard to read. Or just plain hard.”

You smiled at that, almost without meaning to, and let your eyes drift back outside.

Ellie was walking across the street, stride loose and confident, her mouth moving fast as she talked to a tall boy who gestured wildly with his hands.

“Joel and Ellie are pretty close, aren’t they?” you asked, watching them for a beat longer before turning your eyes back to Tommy.

He nodded. “That’s right. You met her?”

“Mm-hm. She’s cute.”

“She must like you, then,” Tommy laughed.

You laughed, too, because it was contagious. “Why?”

“They’re similar. Joel and Ellie. Don’t always look like it, but they are. They don’t warm up to just anyone.”

“Ah.” You looked back toward the window, where Ellie was now halfway across the street. Something about her made you ache.

You were about to ask Tommy something else when a voice came from beside you.

“Can we talk?”

You turned, startled. Joel stood a few feet from the table, one hand resting on the back of your chair, his other gripping a battered metal thermos. His shirt was a flannel one you hadn’t seen before, dark grey streaked with muted blue. His hair was a little windblown, like he’d just come in from the gate.

You blinked at him.

“Um, sure,” you said, softer than you meant. You didn’t move. Just looked up at him from your seat.

Joel frowned. “I was talkin’ to Tommy.”

“Oh,” you said quickly, your face heating as you stood. “Right. Sorry.”

You stepped back, barely meeting his eyes.

“See you later, Snow,” Tommy said lightly behind you.

You gave him a wave without turning fully around. But you didn’t miss the way Joel’s eyes followed you, the faintest crease forming between his brows. There was something in his expression that always landed just short of anger, but never softened into anything else.

As you passed by, you caught his eyes and held it for a beat longer than necessary. And maybe it was petty, or stupid, but you let your eyes flick down the length of him the way he sometimes (often) looked at you.

You raised your brows just slightly, defiant in the tilt of your chin.

If he could glare, so could you.

You were nearly at the door when someone called your name. Your real name.

The sound of it made you stop. You turned your head and saw Isabella approaching, her gait easy, familiar. Beside her was another woman—Florence. You’d met her only three weeks ago, in passing, but she’d been here longer than you. Just a couple of months. She was twenty-seven, and there was something about her, maybe the cadence of her voice, or how she always seemed to lean in when she spoke, that reminded you of Frances.

They both had bright smiles stretched across their faces.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Isabella said, her hand reaching out instinctively to brush your arm. “Haven’t seen you in forever. How are you holding up?”

“Sorry about that,” you said, already feeling the guilt seep in. “I’m fine. How about you? And Hugh?” You glanced around out of habit, searching for Mr. Rowell, as everyone still called him, even though he insisted on just ‘Hugh’. But he wasn’t nearby.

“We’re good,” Florence answered for them, her voice soft and bright. “Saving our stomachs for later tonight.”

“Oh, why?” you asked.

Isabella smiled, hands moving to Florence’s shoulders. “It’s this one’s birthday today.”

Your mouth opened slightly in surprise, and then closed again as a ripple of guilt moved through you.

“Oh. Right. Friday.” You reached out and rested your hand gently on Florence’s shoulder, not quite sure how to express affection anymore, but doing your best. “Happy birthday. What are you planning?”

“Getting drunk,” Florence said with a sparkle in her eye as she slid her arm through yours. Her laugh followed. “Tonight. Tipsy Bison. You have to come.”

You smiled, genuinely. “I’ve never been to an adult birthday celebration. Not a real one, anyway. I won’t miss it.”

Isabella’s eyebrows rose. “Seriously?”

You nodded. “Seriously.”

“Oh, baby,” she said, grinning wide. “Then tonight’s your night. In a world like this, celebrations are sacred. Parties are the last flickering lanterns, and we have to keep them lit even if all we’ve got is some post-apocalyptic mystery alcohol and a half-broken speaker system.”

That made you laugh, really laugh. The sound escaped you before you could temper it, high and unexpected, bouncing off the walls like a misplaced echo.

You turned your head at the sudden awareness that someone was watching.

Joel. A few feet away, still talking with Tommy. His posture stiffer than usual, arms crossed. The expression on his face looked like the aftermath of biting into something sour.

Your eyes met. He didn’t look away.

You let out a quiet snort under your breath, not hiding the smirk as you looked back at Florence.

"I wouldn't miss it," you said, smiling.

Jackson. Tipsy Bison. That same night.

You threw your head back, laughing. Florence’s hand rested on your shoulder, fingers splayed casually, and she was laughing too, mid-story, telling everyone about something absurd her parents had once done a few years ago before they got to Jackson, something involving a river and a miscommunication about something you didn't catch entirely. But still, it was funny.

Crackling with music, thud of boots against the floor; the bar was full. Amber lights flickered above you, casting a warm hue on everyone’s skin, faces golden and half-shadowed. Around you: the Rowells, Florence, Audrey. Jesse, the boy you’d noticed earlier standing beside Ellie, was there too, smiling shyly into his drink.

You brought your glass to your lips. The taste hit sharp and fast, a bloom of heat down your throat. Your eyes closed without thinking.

Now Isabella was recounting something about how she’d met Hugh, how he’d followed her around a library for three weeks before saying a word to her, and everyone was laughing, even you. That was when you felt it—a shift in air to your left, a pocket of coolness brushing the side of your face. The front door had opened.

You turned your head instinctively.

Joel walked in, Sean just behind him. They were in mid-conversation, Sean gesturing with a kind of youthful exaggeration that didn’t match the lines on his face. He looked around forty-eight, maybe older, tall and broad-shouldered, hair streaked with silver. A thin scar cut across his face, from eyebrow to jaw.

Your gaze fixed. Not on Sean.

Joel walked toward the bar, face blank, like always. But something about his posture, his shoulders slightly tense, the way his hand hovered at his side like he hadn’t quite decided what to do with it, made something bloom in your chest.

You barely registered Isabella calling out: “Oh, Joel!” She waved him over.

Your eyes dropped, instantly, to your lap. As if not seeing him would mean he wouldn’t come over.

But you felt it when he arrived. The shift in gravity. The awareness. You didn’t look at him, but your body registered him anyway, the shape of him in your peripheral vision.

He said nothing. You assumed he had nodded or waved in response to Isabella, some small social gesture that bypassed you entirely, of course.

“Sit down and have a drink with us,” Isabella offered. She was still smiling. “We’re celebrating Florence’s birthday tonight.”

He didn’t answer immediately.

You looked up. It felt like something you weren’t supposed to do, and yet, your eyes met his, only for the briefest flicker. Like he hadn’t meant to. Like it slipped.

He turned his attention to Florence then, and there was the faintest movement at the corner of his mouth. Almost a smile, but not quite.

“Happy birthday,” he said. “They’re waitin' for me at the bar. Y’all have a good night.” He tipped his head.

You lifted your eyes again just as he was walking away. He looked back at the same time. Your eyes held his until the distance dissolved it.

A sound escaped your mouth. Not quite a sigh, not quite a groan. You fell back against the chair, legs crossed, shoulders loose now with something that wasn’t quite relief.

When you glanced around, Isabella and Florence were looking at you. The rest of the group was busy talking about something else.

“What?” you asked.

Florence raised her eyebrows. “What was that?”

“What?”

Isabella leaned in. “Did something happen between you two, sweetheart?”

You opened your mouth, but nothing came out. Then a small laugh broke loose from somewhere in your chest. You shook your head.

“No,” you said eventually. “He just doesn’t like me, I guess.”

Isabella frowned. “Why would you say that?”

Florence tilted her head, watching you carefully.

You shrugged. “I don’t know. He just doesn’t.”

Your drink was half-full. You took another sip, slower this time, and looked toward the bar. Joel stood beside Sean, his back to you. He was saying something, nodding slightly.

“But you’re so nice,” Florence said, giving your arm a playful nudge.

You smiled, but didn’t answer.

You weren’t sure how long it had been. Maybe an hour. Maybe longer. Time had stopped behaving like it usually did. It wasn’t linear anymore. It folded around the laughter and the flickering lights and the easy way the alcohol moved through your body.

This was new to you. Not the drinking, but the feeling of doing it without fear. It was strange. Almost peaceful. You hadn’t had many chances to get drunk in a way that felt light instead of dangerous. The world had already cracked open and crumbled by the time you were old enough to even consider rebellion. Most of your memories of drinking involved half-empty bottles found in places you weren’t supposed to be, always glancing over your shoulder, always sharing nervous grins with Frances in the dimness of an abandoned building.

That night with Frances had been jittery and loud; you laughed because you were scared, and scared because you were laughing. This night was different. Here, you didn’t have to whisper. You didn’t have to listen for footsteps or wonder if someone had followed you in. The people around you were kind. Nobody had a gun in their lap.

Jesse was telling a story. Something about what he’d seen on patrol the week before. Two infected, a broken fence, the moon looking wrong in the sky. His voice was pleasant, but your attention wandered.

You let yourself drift.

“I’m gonna grab another drink,” you said between voices. Someone murmured something behind you. Maybe Florence, maybe not. You didn’t check.

You stood, stretching your arms behind your back with a quiet exhale, and made your way toward the bar. The room swayed a little in your vision, but you felt steady enough.

Eric was there, talking to someone as he leaned against the counter. He repaired furniture, you remembered. Nice guy. You’d spoken to him once or twice, always in passing. He greeted you with a nod and a half-smile.

“Hot night,” he muttered, lifting his glass.

You returned the smile out of politeness, not intention.

“Yeah,” you said vaguely, he was already turning away. “See ya.”

Your eyes followed the space he’d left, the void he’d carved by leaving.

And there he was. Joel. One seat over.

His posture was relaxed, it didn’t look natural, like he had to think about how to appear at ease. One forearm rested on the bar, fingers curled around a half-empty glass. His eyes were fixed somewhere else.

You held your smile for a few more seconds, just long enough to finish the gesture, and placed your order with the man behind the bar, your tongue lazy in your mouth. You could hear it. That little shift in articulation that meant you’d definitely had more than enough.

You smiled to yourself, lips barely parted.

And then Joel spoke.

“You should ease up on that.”

You turned your head, just enough to check if he was actually talking to you.

He was.

“What?” you asked, tilting your head slightly, curious.

His eyes shifted forward again.

“The drinkin',” he said. “You might want to take it easy.”

A short laugh escaped from you. “I’m fine.”

“You’re drunk.”

There was no judgment in his voice. Just a plain, unwavering observation, like he was reading from a manual.

You didn’t answer. What was there to say?

The bartender slid a glass across the counter toward you, and you turned away from Joel entirely, focusing on the way the drink caught the light.

When your fingers curled around the glass, there was a brief flicker of indecision. You could leave. You almost did. But you didn’t move.

Instead, you spoke, your voice dipping just slightly into something meant to sound casual, maybe even teasing.

“I’ll be at my desk later tomorrow. In case you were worried about me screwing up your drink. I’ll leave your empty cup exactly where you left it, untouched and perfectly-perfectly still.”

Joel didn’t look at you. His eyes stayed on the bar.

“You don’t need to show up tomorrow.”

There was a beat. Your mouth curved into a faint smile.

“I’ll be fine.”

Now he turned to you. His expression was unreadable at first glance, but then you saw it: seriousness cut through with a sharp edge of finality.

“I meant you’re not needed. Someone else will cover for you. Just... remember that in the mornin'.”

Your smile lingered for a second too long, then wavered. It began to fall in slow increments, first at the corners of your mouth, then in the tightening between your eyebrows.

“What do you mean, someone’s going to cover for me?”

“Just that.” His face turned back toward the wall of bottles.

You watched him lift his drink. Your eyes tracked the movement automatically.

“It’s my job.”

“And it’s not workin'.”

“That’s not true.”

He turned again, meeting your eyes head-on, and this time it was hard to hold it. His eyes were darker here, more shadow than color.

“I say it is.”

You didn’t speak right away. You were too busy analyzing the lines of his face, the tension in his jaw, the way anger didn’t make him louder, it made him quieter. You didn’t like how familiar that looked. And yet, you didn’t look away. You couldn’t.

The silence was long. You felt heat rise in your chest. Not the good kind, not the alcohol-kind. This was something else. Rejection, maybe. Or disappointment.

Then your father’s voice crossed your mind. Calm. Gentle. Something about not giving up on people just because they made things hard.

So you softened your features. A smile, careful and polite, found its way back onto your lips.

You leaned slightly away from the bar.

“Then tell me what I did wrong,” you said, almost kind. “Tell me what I need to fix. I’ll get better.”

He looked at you like you’d just said something entirely absurd. His frown deepened, confusion and irritation knotting together.

But you didn’t wait for an answer.

You turned and walked away, each step feeling heavier than the last. The table was only a few feet away but you could already feel something sour beginning to build behind your ribs. Something bitter and raw. It spread through your chest like smoke.

Anger. Rejection. A familiar sense of helplessness. You didn’t want to name it. You just kept walking.

The voices around the table formed a blur of warmth for you. Someone was laughing (Jesse, maybe, or Florence) and someone else was talking over them. You nodded when it felt appropriate. Smiled once, faintly. But your mind wasn’t anywhere near them.

It was the alcohol, yes. Liquid and pulsing, filling the hollow space behind your ribs. But it was also Joel. Or rather, the words he’d said to you at the bar. You kept hearing them again and again, turning them over like pebbles in your mouth. You’re not needed. Someone else will cover for you.

He couldn’t mean that. He didn’t have that kind of authority, right? You weren’t entirely sure. Tommy and Maria made the decisions; they were the ones who assigned the duties, ran the meetings, kept the town functioning. But Joel was Tommy’s brother. That had to mean something. That had to count in a way.

Still, Tommy liked having you there. He’d told you that more than once. You were good at your work. You showed up early, stayed late when needed. You’d learned how to manage the schedules, the maps, the tool checklists. You were even starting to understand the patrol rotations, and which teams needed what. It had taken you time, but you’d made something steady out of it. Something reliable. You had something to wake up for.

You didn’t want to be reassigned. You didn’t want to fade into some other task, tucked away in the greenhouse or in the kitchen.

Your eyes drifted without purpose until something shifted in your peripheral vision. Joel was getting up from his stool at the bar. He moved slow, with tension, a tightness. He didn’t look back.

You watched him turn toward the exit. His shoulders squared. The door opened. A few words trailed behind you; Isabella’s voice, asking something, maybe where are you going. But you weren’t really listening anymore. You were already standing, already moving.

The door clicked shut just before you reached it, and for a second, you stared at the wood, uncertain.

Then both your hands came up.

One beat, then the next, and you pushed it open.

The night air hit your face.

He was ahead of you on the street, walking with that same guarded posture, all straight lines and clenched muscles. You watched the back of his shoulders for a moment. And still, your feet moved. Fast enough to close the space between you. Something inside you pushed up and outward, a combination of anger and something smaller.

“Hey,” you said, your voice catching a little in your throat. You kept walking. “Joel.”

He turned, just slightly. A pause so brief it almost didn’t register. Then he kept walking, as though your presence behind him hadn’t made any difference at all.

“I’m talking to you,” you called, your voice rising as you picked up your pace.

You reached out and caught his arm. The fabric of his sleeve felt coarse against your fingers, and the heat of his skin underneath startled you with how real it was.

He shook you off, not violently, but not gently either. The motion was abrupt, like he couldn’t stand the feel of your hand there.

“What?” he said, voice clipped. It wasn’t angry exactly, but there was an unmistakable undercurrent of tension, like he was trying hard not to raise his voice.

You folded your arms over your chest, forcing yourself not to shrink beneath his disapproval.

“What did you mean back there?” you asked, chin lifted.

He exhaled through his nose, eyelids heavy as if something unseen pressed behind them.

When he looked at you, his eyes were hooded; a dulled blade.

“Go home,” he said. “You’re drunk.”

He turned again, dismissing you like it was nothing, like you were nothing. And that did something to you.

You reached out, again. Your hand landed on his arm. This time, he turned even faster, face hardening.

“You can’t take me out of it,” you said, your words a little breathless now.

“You don’t know what you’re talkin' about,” he muttered.

“I’ve been doing a good job,” you insisted, stepping closer to him now. The distance between you had shrunk to inches.“I know I have. I’ve worked hard to learn everything. Tommy knows it, Maria too.”

He exhaled harshly through his nose, the muscle in his jaw twitching. His face was made of hard lines and sharp shadows here, features drawn and difficult to decipher. But something in the way his jaw locked made your pulse beat faster.

“You’re not the one who decides that. I am.”

“Oh, and you think I haven’t been doing well?”

“I think,” he said, stepping back, “that if somethin’s broken, you fix it. You don’t keep pretendin' it works just because. And you don’t work for me.”

You parted your lips to respond, to tell him he was wrong, but he had already turned, already started walking away like the conversation had ended.

It hadn’t. Not for you.

“Tommy doesn’t think that,” you said quickly, following him. Your feet carried you back to his side before you fully registered it. “He told me this morning. He said I was doing a good job.”

Joel kept walking. His eyes stayed fixed ahead. “I talked to him later.”

That pulled a laugh out of you, bitter and short.

“Right. Is that why you went to find him after patrol?” The memory struck you with a fresh kind of clarity. “You interrupted our conversation just to ask him to pull me off your side?”

Joel didn’t say a word.

You stepped forward. “And what did he say to you?”

He stopped then, feet halting against the ground, body pivoting with the kind of restrained force that made your pulse kick. When he turned to face you, his eyes were darker and his voice came out low and rasped.

“What d’you think he said? If somethin’ ain’t workin’, it ain’t workin’.”

You stared at him.

“If?” you echoed, the word brittle and incredulous. “I want to know what he actually said. Right now.”

Your hand found its way to his chest, more instinct than intention. You pushed, not hard enough to move him, not really, but enough to make a point. Then you stepped past him, feet carrying you down the path toward Tommy’s house before you fully realized that’s where you were headed.

You didn’t even know what you were doing, what your end goal was. It was late, the windows would be dark, and you had no intention of waking Maria or Benjamin. But it didn’t matter. You weren’t walking to get answers. You were walking to see if Joel would follow.

He did.

“Where the hell d’you think you’re goin’?” His voice chased after you, footsteps following now.

You didn’t turn around.

“I want to hear it from him,” you snapped. “I have a pretty good idea of what he’ll say.”

Behind you, you heard a click of his tongue, like he couldn’t believe what you were doing.

Your steps quickened. You felt wired, your heart thrumming hard under your ribs. The air was thick with tension and residual whiskey.

You turned your head, only to find him already close. His hand clamped down on your arm.

“What the hell’s wrong with you?” he barked, breath hot and sharp. His face hovered too near yours, and his grip tightened. “You outta your goddamn mind?”

You jerked your arm free, violently, the words practically torn from your throat. “Don’t touch me.”

You turned away again. But before your second step landed, his hands were at your waist, strong and sudden.

“Joel—fuck!” you shouted, struggling as he hoisted you off your feet.

A growl ripped out of him; not angry, not even purposeful, just something primal and raw that erupted from his chest without permission.

“What the fuck are you doing?! Let me go!”

But he didn’t. He slung you over his shoulder like you weighed nothing. One of his arms locked tight around your thighs to keep you from kicking, the other bracing your weight.

The street spun upside down in your vision. Your hair fell across your face, and you felt his heartbeat against your stomach where your body was slumped over his back.

“You’re insane,” you yelled, breathless, every word bouncing off the night air. “Put me down. Right now, Joel!”

But he kept walking, dragging you (furious, humiliated, burning) to wherever the hell he’d decided was far enough from whatever this had turned into.

“What are you doing? Put me down. Joel, I swear to God—put me down right now!” You beat your fists against his back, your voice ricocheting off the quiet street. His flannel shirt bunched under your grip, your fingers clawing at the seams like that might anchor you, or shame him into letting go.

“You’re makin’ a scene,” he muttered, the words strained and annoyed, barely audible from your position flung over his shoulder. “You’re drunk, and you’re embarrassin’ yourself.”

“Uh-huh, you're embarrassing me,” you hissed.

“Be quiet,” he snapped.

A frustrated breath escaped your chest, between a sigh and a groan. You reached for something; his shoulder blade, the collar of his shirt, even the curve of his hip, but you couldn’t find your footing or your dignity. And for a terrifying half second, you considered grabbing his ass purely out of spite.

His boots kept hitting the ground with the same relentless rhythm, the world still upside down in your vision. Your body jerked with each step, and just when you thought he might set you down, he adjusted his grip instead, his arm tightening around your thighs.

“All this,” you muttered under your breath, “over a fucking cup of coffee—”

“I told you to shut up,” he bit out again, this time harsher.

“I’ll talk to Tommy in the morning!” you shouted, twisting in his grip, trying to get your voice to hit something inside him.“You don’t get to decide this for me.”

“You’ll have plenty’a free time in the mornin’. Do whatever you want.”

Your head throbbed from being upside down for so long, blood rushing to your temples, and the indignation now threatened to swallow your entire body.

You clenched a fistful of his shirt again.

“Joel,” you gasped, trying to lift your head. “For God’s sake, let me—”

And then, without warning, you were back on your feet. He pivoted with one abrupt motion and set you down.

You stumbled a little from the shift, instinctively catching yourself by grabbing his shoulders. His hands were gone before you could find balance, his body stepping back as if he didn’t want to be touched for even a second longer.

You blinked and realized where you were.

The porch. Your front door. He’d carried you all the way back without saying a word about it.

He didn’t stay. He turned around instantly. You watched the slope of his shoulders retreating, the rigid tension in his spine, like he was holding everything in with both fists.

“Where do you think you’re going?” you called out. “Joel.”

He kept walking. The sound of his boots was infuriating. He wasn’t going to stop. He wasn’t going to look back.

“Joel!” This time, your voice cracked.

And then, without even really deciding to, you bent down and grabbed a small stone from the edge of the porch, something barely larger than a coin. You tossed it; not hard, just enough to get his attention.

It hit his back with a faint almost pitiful sound.

You froze.

Joel stopped.

His hand came up to the back of his neck, resting there for a second. Then, he turned, first glancing at the ground like he wasn’t sure what he’d just felt, and then lifting his eyes to meet yours.

“Did you just throw somethin’ at me?”

His voice wasn’t loud, but it landed hard.

You swallowed, your throat tight. Some part of you wanted to smile, but it didn’t quite reach your lips.

You crossed your arms and stepped back, not in fear (never in fear) but to hold your own ground.

“I’m not afraid of you, Joel.”

His jaw flexed, and his eyes flickered. He didn’t say anything right away, just stared at you in a dense way.

“I don’t know what the hell your problem is with me,” you said. “But it’s not my fault. I haven’t done anything to you. You’re just—” you paused, tasting the line on your tongue— “you’re just acting like an asshole.”

That landed. You could see it in the shift of his posture, the way he turned fully toward you now.

His voice dropped, hard and low. “What the fuck did you just call me?”

Your arms tightened across your chest. You met his eyes with your chin tipped up, unwilling to retreat.

“I didn’t call you anything,” you said. “I said you were acting like one.”

There was a flicker, barely there, at the edge of his mouth. Not a smile, not really. But it vanished as quickly as it came, and then he was striding toward you.

You moved instinctively. Backward, step by step, until your spine hit the solid wood of your door. The thud echoed somewhere low in your chest. You stayed there, heart hammering.

He stopped in front of you, close enough to steal the air from your lungs. His breathing was uneven, sharp. Like he'd run farther than the porch, farther than the length of the street, and hadn't noticed until just now.

“Watch your fuckin’ mouth,” he said. His breath carried whiskey and heat and something mean.

You tilted your chin up, refusing to shrink.

“Or what?” you asked. “What are you going to do?”

He let out a low, humorless laugh.

“I’m not afraid of you, Joel,” you added. “You’re not going to hurt me. I can see it. It’s written all over you.”

That’s when his hand came up.

His fingers wrapped around your neck. Not tight, not painful, but firm. Enough to make your back press harder into the door. Your lips parted, surprised by the contact. Your hand lifted, almost involuntarily, to his wrist.

“Is this supposed to scare me?” you whispered, fingers brushing over the back of his hand. “Is that what this is?”

He didn’t answer at first. His eyes weren’t even locked on yours, they kept flicking downward, to your mouth, your throat, your breath. His jaw clenched.

“You’re reckless,” he said at last, almost grinding the word out. “No wonder you ended up damn near dyin’ out there in the snow.”

Something in your expression shifted. The humor, the heat, the challenge... gone.

Your brows drew together. You blinked.

“You don’t know a fucking thing about me,” you spat, your fingers tightening around his. “I’ve faced worse than you. Men with no soul in their eyes. Men who didn’t even flinch. You don’t scare me.”

He leaned in, the wall of his body pressing yours deeper into the doorframe. His grip didn’t tighten, but it didn’t fall away either.

“Exactly,” he said, the word shaped like a curse. “You don’t know me. That’s what I’m talkin’ about. Reckless.”

The disgust in his tone wasn’t loud. It was quiet. Cold. It sank into your skin like snow melt.

You stared up at him, and your eyes stung before you could stop them.

You swallowed. “If you were going to hate me that much,” you said, voice shaking in spite of yourself, “you should’ve just let me die.”

You didn’t remember anything about that day. Nothing concrete, anyway. Just the endless walking, boots crunching through frozen silence, until your legs gave out and you collapsed into the snow. Cold and still. Then, a flicker: your eyes cracking open, your body hollowed out by exhaustion and pain, your face brushing against someone's chest. Joel.

That was it. That single, dim fragment was all you had. And somehow, that was all you remembered, where he existed—in a lifeless memory, half-buried and weightless.

You pressed both hands against his chest, shoving him with more strength than you expected to find in yourself.

He staggered back a step, not stumbling, just readjusting. Your palm came instinctively to your neck, brushing over the sensitive place beneath your jaw; the familiar ridge of scar tissue, faint but present.

Joel’s eyes dropped. You could see the moment he noticed it. His gaze locked there, unmoving, so still. Something in his expression shifted, so subtly it might’ve gone unnoticed.

“I have nothing,” you said, voice steady. You stepped toward him, and this time, he didn’t move. He just watched you. “Nothing in this world. You dragged me here, so what was the point? Why bring me if you were going to treat me like this?”

He didn’t speak. You tilted your chin up, trying to catch the truth on his face.

“What did I do to you?” you asked.

For a moment, his eyes softened. He looked down.

You studied him in the quiet. The lines under his eyes, the uneven scar near his temple. The tanned skin. And his hair, with a few stray curls that fell behind his ears. You wondered if he ever let anyone touch them.

Then he looked at you again, and whatever softness had surfaced vanished.

He reached forward, his palm flattening briefly over your chestbone. It wasn’t affectionate. It wasn’t violent either. Just a firm press, like a boundary made tactile. Then he stepped away.

“Told you from the beginnin’,” he said, voice clipped. “I didn’t want you close.”

“You think I’m chasing after you?”

“No. Get another job. This one’s not for you.”

And then he turned, like it was over. Like he’d said everything that needed to be said and there was nothing left worth staying for.

“No,” you said.

It was quiet, but he heard you.

He stopped. Turned.

His face twisted slightly, confusion etched into the anger like he didn’t understand.

You didn’t offer him any more words. There was no dramatic speech waiting behind your lips. Just the heat of everything rising in your chest, too big to contain.

You turned your back to him. Fingers found the lock, turned it. The door creaked open. You stepped inside without looking back to see whether he was still standing there or walking away.

You didn’t care.

divider by: omi-resources

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queenimmadolla · 3 months ago

Text

𝐅𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐌𝐞

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐈𝐈𝐈: 𝐖𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐎𝐮𝐭, 𝐁𝐨𝐲, 𝐒𝐡𝐞'𝐥𝐥 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐰 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐔𝐩

(A Lisa Frankenstein, Eddie Munson AU)

previous ─ next part ┊ 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 ( + playlist)

Summary: After your stepmother's ahem accident, and now brimming with confidence, you decide it's about time to make Eddie whole again and lend him a hand in doing so, while Eddie regains new and old sensations along with some feelings. An excruciatingly heavy dose of jealousy, included. And you confirm that Eddie Munson is hot. Eddie is so very hot.

Chapter Warnings: he's not super stinky anymore but his feet still are, dark humor, unpleasant home life, intense longing. oh yeah, and murder. again. so there will be descriptions of violence and blood but its a creep getting what's coming. includes references to SA which occurred in a previous chapter.

a/n: surprise, bitch. bet you thought you'd seen the last of me. anyways, got a new macbook so here we are. this chapter was a lot longer but i actually forgot to add crucial details for my plot, so, I'm going to split it into more chapters. hope you enjoy this one! and yes, we are pretending certain songs existed during the year this is set.

light dividers ℗ cafekitsune ♡

“I mean—I haven’t stared at his hands or anything, he’s just got to be dexterous with all the books he handles. It’s perfect.” You’d decided on the next unwitting donor for Eddie. A suitable hand to replace the one he lost.

Of course, with the hand meant there’d be another body to dispose of. You’d planned it out carefully and quickly. You only had about a week until Laura was due back from her conference, or whatever the fuck it was. Regardless, you knew she wouldn’t be making another appearance, alive that is. You were sure her photos would assault you on news channels when she was discovered missing and you were relatively fine with that. It’d be the last of your abusive step-mother you’d ever have to see. You really were finally free of her, and it surprised you how relieved that made you feel.

From the moment she came into your life, she’d made it almost unbearable for you to exist in your own skin, in your own life—in any space or capacity. The months spent enduring her verbal, emotional and mental abuse had eventually made you grow used to it, not that it ever became tolerable or normal to you. You just…stopped realizing you weren’t yourself anymore; always hunched over, eyes staring at the ground, walking on eggshells every minute you weren’t locked in the safety of your room. You’d become meek, doing anything you could to seem small so she’d leave you alone. Always holding your breath.

You could finally breathe.

There was a bit of guilt present, only because you knew regardless of how horrible Laura was to you and how she’d been to Chrissy before your step-sister had graduated high school (she’d told you all about it when you’d first moved in), she was still Chrissy’s mother, and Chrissy would no doubt feel the loss.

She’d get over it.

Eddie slowly made his way into your bedroom after you, and you took the chance to really look him over. He certainly did look more lively. Still dead as fuck, but not so much a corpse rotting for years. Maybe just a few months.

“I’ll see him tomorrow, so we’ve got to do it then.” You kicked off your boots, letting them land wherever they wanted as you padded over to your bathroom with Eddie trailing behind you.

The bathroom light flicked on and you quickly got to work, pulling out your makeup removing balm and skincare products. You got started, making sure your hair was out of your face before you were massaging products into your skin, “You know, my dad said this move would be a new start for us—really, I didn’t have a choice unless I wanted to be homeless—and I thought that was a huge load of crap.”

You stopped the motion of rubbing the balm to pry your eyes open, blinking past the product coating your eyelashes as you stared at Eddie’s reflection in the mirror. He was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, staring intently at your reflection and not at all bothered with the state of your severe raccoon eyes, “I still think it’s crap. But maybe this happened for a reason, maybe I was meant to tend to your grave until lightning brought you back to life kinda. Maybe Laura only ever existed so she’d be around to give you another ear when you’d need it. I mean she always gave me an earful so, I think it’s poetic justice. Now, she’s the one who only has a singular ear. Ear-y, if you will.”

You quickly rinsed off your face and patted it dry with a towel, pausing to contemplate.

”And she’s dead now, too, so it’s like you guys just traded places. Freaky Friday and all that—did you ever see that movie? Jodie Foster?”

Eddie nodded his head.

“Did you like it?”

“Mm.” He shrugged, sticking his hand out and letting it teeter.

You pursed your lips as you applied your moisturizer, “I mean it’s got its moments, some real nice mother-daughter understanding but I thought it was just okay, too.”

You were expecting him to make some sort of zombie sound of acknowledgement, so when he remained silent, your eyes drifted once more to his reflection, finding him now staring intently at the shower curtain, fingers of his good (the other one wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t there) hand twisting it this way and that. The shower curtain was bright pink, holographic and shifted to reveal a bunch of kittens when angled correctly.

Eddie looked perplexed and you had to bite your lip to keep your grin from taking up your entire face at such a blatant display of boyish ignorance.

Slowly, as you watched Eddie continue to fuck around with the curtain, the grin twisted into a small frown.

Sure, Eddie looked a little rough around the edges, had apparently been in the drug dealing business while he’d been alive—but you couldn’t imagine someone wanting a guy fascinated with shower curtains designed for late 40 something year-old women with no taste (Laura had picked out the curtain), dead.

You wondered if they’d been behind his missing appendages, too. Glancing down at his wrist to take in the wound—bone still visible, a heavy feeling settled in your stomach, one similar to the feeling you’d get when you’d watch Carrie; see her smiling on that stage, overwhelmed with joy at finally feeling accepted, but you couldn’t be happy for her. As a reader and viewer, you knew about the bucket.

With your night routine finished, you turned to face Eddie, clapping your hands twice to get his attention. He reminded you of a puppy the way his head tilted in confusion at you.

“Back to my room.” You swept your arms out in front of you, gesturing for him to leave first and when Eddie stood up he tried to do the same thing, only his arms weren’t as loose as yours, so it just looked like he was doing the robot.

You smiled, turning to walk out the doorway when you stopped short, eyes honing in on the dark, red stain on your carpet.

Fuck, you had to clean the crime scene still. Panic filled your chest while your brain tried to recall your dad and Chrissy’s schedules for the day. Chrissy had said she’d be out with friends so she probably wouldn’t return until well past the time your father went to bed, and he’d probably be home by dinner time. Even if he did return early, he rarely—and by rarely you meant never—went into your room. Not to lecture you, not to say goodnight, not to check if you were still alive.

You were in the clear.

Moving to stand directly in front of the stain, your sock covered foot tapped rapidly as you fidgeted. There was no way you’d be able to get all that out, Laura had bled harder than you did when you sneezed on your period. You could soak up most of the blood, scrub out the rest but the stain would always be present, no hiding the dull red amongst the pink fibers.

But maybe…

Your eyes trailed over to the rug placed deliberately under your bed. It was a piece you brought from your room back home, a nifty find from the estate sales you and your mother would frequent with a shared love for antiques and the unique.

You could pull it out a little, have Eddie lift the bed and then you’d be able to cover the stain left behind after you cleaned the carpet. Your lower lip became the victim of nervous chewing as you wondered if Chrissy would notice the difference in placement. Did she even pay that close attention to you? Could you risk it?

Well, it’s not like you had any other option. With the clean up plan in mind, you turned to your doorway and jumped when you nearly collided with Eddie’s chest.

“JESUS! Fuck, sorry dude—I forget you’re so quiet.”

He shrugged his shoulders, and you were almost taken aback with the amusement you could see in his eyes. Eddie had found some amusement in having freaked you out by doing literally nothing—and his eyes kind of…sparkled with it. They hadn’t done that before you electrocuted him. While big, they hadn’t been all that expressive.

Interesting.

Whatever—you’d have to look into that later, right now you had something to cover up. And you needed to keep Eddie busy while you did.

“C’mere.” Rather than just have him follow after you, you grabbed his hand—tugging him over to your bed. When Eddie was in front of you, you pushed on his shoulders to get him to sit down and then grabbed your beat up Walkman, your headphones, and rummaged through your bedside drawer for a certain tape.

No luck. You scowled, slamming the drawer shut as you scrutinized your room. You eyed your school bag, on the ground by your door and scrambled over to it, arm reaching in to search around before dumping the contents out. Damn, still no tape and your irritation was beginning to fester.

Sure, you had more but you needed Eddie to listen to that one. It was important for a reason you didn’t care to delve into. So, you handled your lapse in memory with grace.

“WHERE THE FUCK IS IT?” You shoved everything carelessly back into your bag, practically throwing it back down as you rushed over to your dresser, moving all your crap aside in search of the plastic rectangle.

Not there either.

There was absolutely no way you’d ever misplace your tapes in the drawers of your dresser but you ransacked those, too, slamming them each when they proved futile. Your blood was practically boiling.

“Eddie, cover your new ear because I am about to LOSE MY FUCKING SHI-oh, there it is!”

It had been on your dresser, hidden under an open copy of Frankenstein, with the corner sticking out.

You hummed, annoyance fleeing your person as you held the cassette case up between your fingers to show off to Eddie. During your little bitch fit, he’d made himself comfortable on your bed, laying back and popped up on his forearm. The lower half of his face was cinched up and you had the sneaking suspicion he was smirking at having witnessed you lose your cool, but he was a dead guy so who was he to judge?

“This is gonna change your freaking life, I swear.” And then, as a guilty afterthought, “Uhm. In a good way.” You tucked his hair behind his ears, fingers gentle, and placed the headphones over them before you were pulling The Lion and the Cobra out of its case. “It’s one of my favorite albums and—honestly, I bought it because she’s bald. Well, I guess not bald bald, she’s got a buzzcut. This is Sinead O’Connor. I told you a little bit about her last night.”

After slipping the tape into place and closing it in, you offered the case to Eddie so he could see Sinead on the cover of it, wrists crossed over her chest, and her normally soulful stare avoiding all those gazing upon her.

When Eddie stared down at it a little too long for your liking, you snatched it out of his hands, an unpleasant feeling in your belly, heart clenching a little. It was a simple cover, he didn’t need to scrutinize her, didn’t need to admire her for that long.

You knew his eyebrows would be raised—if he could, but the most you’d seen them do is twitch—with the look he was giving you.

“Shut up. Just—listen, okay? Every single track is a work of art, but some feel a little more…personal than others. Tell me your favorite afterwards, ‘kay?”

Eddie stared at you for a couple of beats and when he nodded, you pressed the play button, giving him a smile.

You could feel his eyes on you as you walked out of your room to retrieve a sponge, some hot soapy water and the carpet shampoo mix Laura concocted and always drenched the floors in.

While you worked on making sure no one would ever know Laura took her last evil, foul wench breathes in your bedroom, Eddie had managed to shift into a different position, lying on his back with his head dangling off your bed, the ends of his curls pooling on the rug below.

Now Eddie had always considered himself a music connoisseur, loved discovering new artists—but he was a little unfair in his practice. As in, he didn’t give a shit what other people told him to listen to.

Well, people he didn’t care about. Eddie cared about you.

Eddie cared about you a lot.

He’d been rediscovering his body the longer he remained alive, still marveling over his ability to reanimate from the grave. With his apparent deceased status, came the sensation of knowing where every organ in his body was.

Eddie had been tempted to cut himself open, confirm with his sight what was going on in there, but he had a feeling you would have yelled at him so he settled for taking mental notes. He could think, so his brain was clearly working, maybe jump started by that lightning strike. He could tell the exact location of his stomach, feel things moving around in there and he’d spent a great deal of time hacking the creepy crawlers up after he’d spat one up in Laura’s lunch—he didn’t want to gross you out by accidentally coughing one up on you or something since he’d already puked on you.

After making sure he didn’t feel any more bugs roaming around in his organs (and he was extremely grateful they’d yet to make his way to his lower intestine because there was no way you’d be normal about him shitting out bugs—if he even could shit), he realized he had a couple of broken rib bones.

Eddie couldn’t remember much about the night he was murdered, couldn’t recall too many images—mostly just experienced an intense wave of fear that clawed its way out of some crevice in his chest and up his throat, desperate to break through with a scream, so he tried not to think about it much. They must have broken his ribs in the attack, if he pressed just below his left pec, that particular rib bone would move inwards with a popping sensation.

Definitely hadn’t done that before he was dead, would have been a sick party trick, though.

And then came the matters of the heart…it’s the one thing he couldn’t really feel, couldn’t locate, unlike his other organs. Eddie had briefly assumed that shit was still dead or dust but then you’d returned home, radiating with jubilation—a far cry from the miserable girl he’d observed that first night, so beautiful and marred with self deprecation.

You’d said it was because of him, of the dress he’d seen hanging in your closet and then fantasized about seeing you wear all night while you’d slept.

Eddie swore he felt the heart he thought had given up, clench. It had been a fleeting sensation, but he’d felt it nonetheless. He had no idea what it was doing, had no idea if was actually beating or just responding. All he knew was that it belonged solely to you.

And then you had to go and mention Steve fucking Harrington.

He wasn’t exactly fond of the self proclaimed King of Hawkins, had sold him some really shitty weed because the blockhead didn’t know the difference. He was an asshole, even worse than Eddie.

And for some fucking reason, the love of Eddie’s life—who read him poetry, talked about all her interests, shared her secrets with him along with the very same loneliness that had plagued him all his life and followed him to his grave, and who was far out of Steve’s league—wanted him. Not Eddie.

No, because this is Eddie’s second life, he still can’t be happy. You wanted Blane and your movie Pretty in Pink ending. Eddie was just Duckie and he had a feeling this wouldn’t be the novelization ending.

When the fourth track began to play, Eddie’s despair was calmed by the sound of a guitar strumming, and he was able to yank himself out of his head. No point in dwelling. This wasn’t about him anyways.

Yes, he’d come back from the dead. The circumstances of his return were still unclear, but he knew it was somehow your doing, somehow because of you. And he’d spend the rest of his life (he had no idea if he was gonna age or not, he’d only been alive for like a day) expressing his gratitude and protecting you.

Besides…

Ah when you close my eyes, babe, I can see most everything, Sinead sang.

And Eddie understood it.

His gaze bore into the side of your face, admiring the tick between your brows as you scrubbed at the stain, the pout of your lips and Eddie wanted nothing more than to be able to get up without his limbs literally creaking, saunter over to you with the confidence he knew would make you swoon over him, pull you up into his arms and kiss you until you forgot Steve Harrington even existed.

He closed his eyes and let the scenario play out, changing a few details in the scene.

The two of you weren’t in your room. Pink carpet switched out for his dingy, stained bedroom carpet. Generic in color, you didn’t seem to mind it at all as you rifled through his vinyl collection, greedy fingers flicking through the covers at an impressive rate.

Sinead’s voice was still comforting Eddie, just not through a pair of headphones. Her voice crooned out from the turntable on his dresser.

He’d been passively engaged in a sketch of the main villain for one of his favorite DND campaigns, still needed a ton of details that wouldn’t be hitting the page tonight. Not with you present, not with you sitting there engrossed in your own world and oblivious to his appreciative stare.

Eddie didn’t like to consider himself particularly vain, and truthfully it hadn’t mattered to him what you’d look like the entire time he was—whatever. He didn’t care. But oh did someone up there have to favor him just a little bit, because when he saw you for the first time with his soil embedded dry eyes, he was sure it was love at first sight. Would have popped a woody if he had any sort of blood flow and if you hadn’t freaked out at having a dead guy crash through your window.

Oh, fuck, he was ruining his own fantasy by remembering the circumstances of his existence. Back to it.

While he could envision you in that black dress, as hot as you were in it, it was the pajamas he first ever saw you in that covered your skin. Hair ready for bed as the two of you winded down in a show of domestication.

Thump, thump.

There it was again. Not always lively but always coming to life when you were around, even in just his daydreams, ready to beat for you. And since this was his fantasy…

Eddie tossed aside the sketchbook and pencil, not caring where they bounced to on his bed in his haste to stand. He padded the short distance to you, snatching the vinyl you’d been checking out right from your hands.

“Hey!” You cried out, any semblance of protest disappearing the moment you turned to look up at him and caught that mischievous Munson Smirk on his face as he dangled the album in front of you. He was teasing you.

Your eyes narrowed up at him playfully and for a moment you were still until your arm darted out in an attempt to snatch the album back—a move Eddie was already anticipating.

The album was quickly held just out of your reach and your grin was sheepish as you moved to get up from the ground. Clearly, your boyfriend (yes, he was your boyfriend in this fantasy, sue him) was feeling playful, and honestly, he just really liked it when you threw yourself at him just as you did right then.

Eddie still held his ground, arm sticking straight up in the air to try to keep the album out of your grabby hands.

Teasing would always get a little physical, since he’d known what it was like to be without another’s touch for so long, he was keen on forever feeling yours.

“You’re such an asshole!” You laughed as you did this pathetic little jump to try to reach it and Eddie snickered, the arm not clutching the album snaking around your side to bring you impossibly closer to him. Keep you there. Preferably forever.

“Mm, but I’m your asshole,” Eddie cooed down at you, angling his head down so the tips of your noses bumped. The gentle curve of your lips had his heart thumping again as you settled against him, one hand stroking up his chest to rest on his shoulder. He could feel your breasts against him but it didn’t excite him as it should have (okay—it did, he just wasn’t paying attention to his dick in the fantasy), what he really cared about in that moment was how he was able to hold you so close, he could feel your heartbeat. And it wasn’t beating for Steve Harrington. It was Eddie who made your heart flutter and race, “and you can do whatever you want with me.”

“Gross,” you whispered, breath ghosting over his lips.

“You say that and yet you still let me─” The rest of Eddie’s sentence was lost against your mouth, soft, and a little tacky from your lip balm but oh so sweet. He let out a pleased hum, flicking the album onto his bed so he could cup the back of your head as your tongue parted his lips. The two of you stood there, holding each other, kissing each other with no ulterior motives. Just the burning desire to ensure the other knew exactly how wanted their very presence, very existence was. Sinead echoed her own statement over and over again in the background, making it the perfect soundtracked moment.

God, there was nothing more he could ever possibly want.

Actually—there was one thing he wanted more, he realized as his eyes opened once more, and your profile came into focus with a couple of lazy blinks.

Eddie wanted you to want all of that.

Wanted you to want him back, because you deserved more than what Steve Harrington could give you. Materialistically, sure okay—the rich douche could give you more considering Eddie was technically homeless without a penny to his name, but you didn’t care about material things. Not like that. It hadn’t been objects or devices you’d told him you longed for at his grave.

You longed for something Eddie was positive he could give you. He just needed his body to be up to par, needed what he was missing so you could see the whole—Eddie as a whole—was greater than the sum of his parts. He could make you happy. He could make you so happy.

If only he wasn’t a fucking zombie—and really, c’mon, that’s the main thing Steve’s got over him. He’s…y’know…more alive.

You must have felt Eddie’s heavy and romantic, not creepy, stare because your head snapped up and you gave him that gorgeous smile again. Then you were knee crawling over and Eddie wanted to bite a chunk of your mattress out—you were so damn cute.

When you were in front of Eddie, and still very much so upside down to him though you were actually right side up, you lifted the headphones off his ears, “How you liking it so far? You good over here?”

Oh, you know just, yearning over a love we’ll never share because I know I could be everything you’ve ever wanted and anything you need, whatever you want, if I weren’t a corpse and I have to listen to you talk about another, much less cool guy when I’m right here and I’m missing a hand, so I could be better.

Eddie held up (down, technically) his thumb and you leaned your body over so you were kind of upside down too, grinning brilliantly at him. Eddie had never wanted an upside down kiss so badly.

“I don’t know if I’ve told you this yet, Eddie. I really like hanging out with you.”

Eddie let out a groan, rolling his eyes and gently pushing your face away from him after your terrible pun while you cackled.

After you finished cleaning the stain to the best of your ability (so not well), you enacted the rest of your solution and had Eddie lift your bed frame so you could pull your rug a little more out and successfully cover the stain.

Before bed, you asked him what his favorite track of the tape was. When Eddie pointed at Just Like U Said It Would B, you nearly jumped up and down on your bed before revealing that was your favorite song, too.

Eddie wasn’t even remotely surprised. Yuuuuup. You were definitely his soulmate.

When you woke up the following morning, squinting like an elderly chihuahua as you once more fumbled out of bed to pry your closet doors open, Eddie had another outfit waiting for you. Unlike yesterday, Eddie wasn’t awake.

He was sitting against the wall of the closet, head resting against the bottom of various dresses and long skirts as a makeshift pillow. His eyes were closed and he was unnaturally still.

Alarms started to blare off in your head and you nearly shit your heart out of your asshole because you thought Eddie had somehow died again. Your reaction was instant, eyes filling with tears as you got on your knees and crowded into his space, hands gripping his shoulders and shaking him with a strength you didn’t know you possessed, “Eddie?! Eddie, c’mon, don’t do this to me—don’t leave me, I just got you, c’mon get up.”

When he stirred, chest rising as he inhaled, you nearly dropped dead from the relief, allowing yourself to fall back on the carpet and partially on the rug sticking out from under your bed.

“Oh my god.” You breathed out, lifting two fingers to check your own pulse. You still had one so you were kicking, and Eddie was still very much alive or whatever he was, “Okay, new rule, you gotta tell me what your body can and can’t do anymore—I thought you were DEAD, Eddie!”

You pushed up on your hands before you launched yourself at him, arms wrapping around his upper half. In that position, his hairs rubbed at your nose and the scent of your own shampoo filled your nostrils and he felt very hard overall, but his arms wrapped around you too. He was fine. Except for y’know, his current state of existence—but at least he still existed.

When you pulled away to look at him, you noticed his eyes looked kind of hazy, bleary. Tired. He was full alert yesterday morning, and you were pretty sure he hadn’t slept that night, nor had he been tired when you got home.

“Are you okay?” You asked, fingers raking through his bangs to settle them against his forehead.

Eddie nodded slowly with a grunt, and grabbed the items that had been resting on his lap when he fell asleep, pushing them into your arms.

A sheer black mesh long sleeve, a red corset to go over that and keep you from getting arrested for the public indecency, and a sleek midi black skirt that was sure to hug your hips and flow the rest of the way down to stop a little past your knees.

“So, yesterday it was Madonna and today it’s Cyndi Lauper?”

Eddie pushed you out of the closet but before he could shut the doors, you wedged your way between them to prevent him from doing so.

“Wait—okay, you win again. Are you tired?” You pried the doors all the way open again so you could see Eddie more clear with the light, his head nodding slowly.

”I didn’t know you could sleep,” You mumbled and the look Eddie gave you made you think he hadn’t known either. You were beginning to suspect your little Dr. Frankenstein moment did more than simply bring Eddie’s ear to life, “Well get up. You can sleep in my bed, I’ve got a couple of classes today. Chrissy likes to carpool on Tuesdays and my dad’s gonna head to work, not that he’d ever venture to this corner of the house anyways. Get some rest and I’ll wake you up when it’s time.”

He looked a little unsure of himself so you had to pull him out. And once you remembered he was in the same pair of clothes, you gave him another band shirt and some plaid pajama pants you’d received on some birthday in the wrong size, to wear to bed.

By the time you’d finished getting ready and doing your makeup, Eddie was asleep again. You found him lying on his stomach, head nuzzled into your pillow with his feet hanging off your bed.

You walked over, grabbing your comforter from where you’d bunched it up on the other side of the bed after you’d thrown it off you and pulled it over him. Whether or not his blood circulation was working wasn’t even a thought, the action of tucking Eddie in was more so an affectionate one than rational.

It’d been years since he’d slept in a bed, having been wrongfully sentenced to spend eternity with worms and everything beneath the earth’s surface. You hated that, something hot simmering in your belly. Laura’s much deserved murder aside, Eddie hadn’t done anything wrong! Yeah, okay, you didn’t exactly know him—but you knew him. The dead dude, currently sleeping (?) in your bed, had acted earlier only and solely to protect you. You hadn’t been in Hawkins when he was alive so the odds of him running around with a sewing machine to bash people’s heads in for you were pretty slim.

Impulsively, your hand reached out to run through his hair with ease, fingers twisting into the curls. His tresses were still surprisingly soft and there were no tangles. Part of you wanted to lean forward and smell him but you didn’t because it’d be creepy and he’d just smell like your shampoo, probably.

With a sigh, you retracted your hand and silently gaped when some of his hair came out with it.

Oh, shit.

Rolling your lips together and with no alternative, you rolled the hair into a little ball and tucked it into your bra to dispose of later. The last thing you needed was for him to be nosey and bored enough to go through your bathroom trash and find his hair in it, without him having put it there.

You were just about to head out when you remembered his shoes and how uncomfortable going to bed wearing them must have been so before you could USE YOUR FUCKING HEAD you were carefully pulling one off (it would be just your luck to accidentally pull his foot off or something) and once his foot was free—you realized immediately why he’d kept them on.

The stench hit your eyes first, tears filling them faster than you’d ever experienced before and stinging them something fierce. When the smell breached your nostrils, it triggered your gag reflex and you did everything you could to keep your dry heaving relatively quiet.

After you threw up in your mouth a little, you managed to put his shoe back on and ran for the bathroom. Once your stomach was settled, you held your breath and braved your room, lunging for your body spray to aggressively mist over Eddie’s sleeping figure before hurrying out, gasping for air once you were in the hall leaning against the bedroom door.

God, your wallpaper was fucked. No way it wasn’t curling in on itself.

You were still in a state of shock and recovery when you ventured downstairs, almost snapping to attention when you heard Chrissy gasp and your head lulled towards the dining room where she sat at the table across from your father. He had his head buried in some magazine while she stared at you in awe, hands covering her mouth.

“My goodness, Sissy! You look like you could have walked straight out of that witch movie that Cher was in! You know, the one with the three witches?”

“I’m familiar, let's hope men in real life are easier to knock dead.” You commented, leaning against the entryway with your arms crossed and the strap of your bag over your shoulder.

Chrissy laughed, the sound ringing out like the most annoyingly pleasant wind chimes as she explained to your father who wasn’t really listening, “Because in the film, daddy, there’s this awful man and they’re trying to get rid of him and really all the men in the film aren’t the greatest.”

Your dad just grunted, still thoroughly engrossed in his magazine, “Uh-huh, I’m sure your sister’s a regular maneater.”

The sarcasm was evident and unappreciated by both you and Chrissy. The brief glare you spared the oblivious sack of meat was lethal before your steely gaze was back on the strawberry blonde.

“You ready?” You usually carpooled with Chrissy on Tuesdays since your last classes lined up.

“Ohhhhh, here she comes. Watch out, boys, she’ll chew you up.” Chrissy teased, popping the last of her eggs into her mouth. You noted, with great satisfaction, specks of pepper peeking out from her gums and between her teeth, “You know, sissy—you seem a lot more confident without mom around.”

Your dumb bitch of a mom, you internally corrected her, lips curling into a smile as you recalled exactly where that woman was. Probably arguing with Satan about which ring of hell she’d be damned to for the rest of eternity. It had to be one of her choosing or she wasn’t going to budge an inch, you could imagine her telling the fallen angel.

“I do have to admit,” Chrissy continued, “It’s pretty peaceful without her here. I’ll have to convince her to go out more often.”

This next part pained you, and you could actively feel your stomach clenching as you forced the words out, “Not too often. I kind of miss having her here.”

Oh, you were so gonna throw up, “I mean—everyone needs a Debbie Downer to put life into perspective.”

Or make you want to kill yourself. The sole reason you were even voicing these lies was because you needed to establish a somewhat ‘healthy’ relationship with your stepmother, for investigative purposes.

Sure, you argued a lot; she hated you, you wanted her dead and now she was, but if you went around saying you missed her, you likely wouldn’t be number one on the suspect roster once she was determined to be missing.

That caught your dad’s attention and he finally looked up in confusion, “Really?”

“Of course! I know we fight sometimes but she’s a good example for me.” You had to put your all into this performance, forcing your expression to appear somewhat genuine even if you were really mocking her, “Because of her, I now know it’s possible for you to be a bitch your whole entire life if you don’t fix your attitude and outlook while you’re young, and that if you don’t start caring for your skin sooner rather than later, you’ll have wrinkles the size of California. I know she doesn’t want that same bitter existence she goes through, sunup to sundown, for me. That’s why she’s so tough on me.”

Chrissy looked touched, a dainty little hand over her chest as she blinked back tears, “You are so right. I know she’s hard on you but I’m glad you’re starting to see she can’t help it. She’d probably rather die than not be a little judgmental.”

You scratched the back of your neck and cleared your throat, “Mhm. So, school?”

“My, aren't you eager to just snap the neck of every boy at school today?” Chrissy gathered her utensils after she’d cleared her plate.

“Just certain ones.” Your nose crinkled with your smile. Chrissy briefly disappeared into the kitchen, and when she emerged, she was tightening the ponytail she’d sectioned the top half of her hair in, allowing you to see a faint bruise just below her jaw.

“Hey—you good?” You reached up to rub a knuckle over the same area on your skin and her eyes widened as her fingertips flew to her jaw, pressing at the skin until she seemed to feel the tender spot.

“Oh, yeah. I must have got myself with my straightener this morning.” She laughed, nervously and your eyes narrowed as you followed her into the foyer.

“I thought you valued not ever using heat on your hair.” You reminded her, having had to often listen to her brag about how her hair was sooooooo healthy and sooooooo long because she never used heat on it. She only slept with curlers on, and judging by the bump to her ends—that had been exactly the case.

Chrissy’s eyes darted away and you knew she was lying, “I-I—I do! I mean I don’t! We were just doing each other’s hair at the sleepover yesterday, and I let them─”

“Sleepover? I thought you just went out for some bowling and a kickback. Did you not sleep here last night?” You quirked your head, mouth setting in a frown. There was nothing more you hated than being lied to. Except maybe getting the shit slapped out of you by Cruella de Vil yesterday.

Chrissy’s eyes widened and she began to stammer, “No, no! I-I did! It was, you know, it was supposed to be a sleepover but I didn’t stay all that long. S-School night and-and all.”

“Huh.” Was all you said, deciding to let it go after making her a little more nervous with your stare. It was powerful when lined with kohl. Chrissy looked like she was about to start shaking in her white princess Reebok’s and you started to feel bad for her. It had been over a year since her boyfriend had broken up with her and she still always felt guilty about being with other guys. You had a feeling she was still holding out for him. That, coupled with the fact that you were feeling sorry for Chrissy—and not the other way around—made you feel good about yourself so you’d happily look the other way while she tried to find affection she probably craved.

Oh, how the turn tables.

The ride to school was filled with chatter, Chrissy’s way of trying to make sure the subject didn’t return to her escapades from the previous night, no doubt.

You let her chatter away as you pulled a piece of paper from one of your notebooks to jot down a quick note. Much flirtier than you had originally planned to write it, but after spotting Chrissy’s hickie, you were inspired.

Once you were done, you folded the pink lined paper up and pressed a kiss to it, leaving your lipstick stain on it. The paper was rubbed discretely against your neck as well, an effort to get some of your perfume on it.

I’m tired of playing games. No more interruptions. Meet me at the old bench in the woods behind the high school at 4pm?

Yes / No

Leave your response on the windshield of the white miata

Xoxo

When Chrissy pulled into the parking lot and the two of you parted ways, you scanned the area for a certain car and placed the note under one of the windshield wipers before making your way to your first class. Luckily, your seat was right next to the window that overlooked the parking lot. You spent the entire class nervously fidgeting until you saw him making his way towards his car.

You watched, with bated breath, as he paused in his approach when he noticed the note. Your asshole clenched when he pulled it from its secure spot and unfolded the note to read its contents.

He was too far for you to make out the expression on his face but he dug around in his pocket until he produced a pen and scribbled his response before jogging over to Chrissy’s car to leave the note exactly where you instructed and you wanted to stomp your feet against the ground in victory but no.

No. You couldn’t, not in front of all these people and certainly not in class. You were just beginning to garner a cool reputation and you weren’t about to let a guy ruin it.

You did, however, maintain a constant smirk throughout the day and it briefly morphed into a genuine smile when you’d intentionally wandered in front of the library, catching Steve’s eye. He’d traded you a secretive smile, fingers waving in your direction and you returned the sentiment before carrying on your way to beat Chrissy back to her car.

You were in such a rush to make it to the parking lot before her, you didn’t stop to think someone could be coming around the corner and crashed right into a broad chest, dropping your back in the shuffle.

“Shit. Sorry,” You mumbled, dropping down to your knees to grab your bag and the subsequent items that had fallen out of it. The mystery person bent down in time to grab the tube of your mascara before you could, the last item you needed, and held it out to you and you glanced up, body freezing as Tommy Hagan stood before you.

“No harm done.” He shrugged, appearing nonchalant as he smiled down at you, “You really should take those corners slow. They’ll get you.”

Tommy Hagan was…something. You didn’t really like him.

He hadn’t given you much of a reason to not like him, since you never interacted with him, it was just…something about him. He was a wildcard. You’d seen Tommy in many different states; cool, calm, collected, goofing off. Then, with a snap of a finger, it was like he was a completely different person.

You’d witnessed him lose his shit on someone before, crowding some poor guy up against his car as he threatened to bash his face in with the door.

He wasn’t much of a bully to you, Carol seemed to target the girls and while you’d heard Tommy used to be a big bully in high school, you hadn’t seen him pick on people continuously. Just those he actually seemed to have friction with, so you assumed he’d grown out of the bullying.

That being said, up until recently, he was still involved with Carol and anyone that could willingly want to deal with her in a romantic situation had to be bad news, and that’s why you stayed away.

How he could go from Carol, to appreciatively eyeing you up in the middle of the corridor, you had no idea.

You didn’t like it.

“Uh, yeah.” Was all you could say when you realized you hadn’t responded to him. “I-uhm-I was in a hurry.”

He nodded, brown eyes sweeping over you once more, sending a bad shiver down your spine. You definitely did not like it and you couldn’t even explain why because there had been nothing inherently crude about the way he looked at you. It wasn’t anything like with Fred the other night, Tommy wasn’t looking at you like he was about to have his way with you…you couldn’t explain it. There was just something so ominous about his presence. Something dark attached to his freckled, ‘friendly’ face.

“Do I know you? From somewhere? We have a class together or something?” He asked, apparently keen on making small talk with you.

“No, I don’t think so.”

”You’re Chrissy’s sister!” He supplied, eyes lighting up and you weren’t fond of being linked with him any sort of way.

“Yeah. She’s-Chrissy. My step-sister.”

How the fuck can I end this conversation?

Tommy smirked, and you could feel your stomach drop as the ominous aura came over him, his face somehow darkening. Not in color, in nature. “Is she the evil one, or are you? Hmn?”

You didn’t know what that meant, didn’t know if he was cruising around for his next cruel girlfriend, but it wouldn’t be you.

Instead of answering his question, you laughed nervously. The sound wasn’t pretty, nor was it modest. You laughed loud, and you laughed obnoxiously. It’s not like you could help it!

“I gotta, I gotta go.” You managed to get out between rounds of your laughter as you backed away.

He watched you with something akin to interest, as you whirled around and made a dash for the parking lot.

You could hear him call out a see you around and since you didn’t want to see him around, you just lifted a hand in acknowledgment without turning back.

Good god, that was unpleasant. That was extremely uncomfortable and it made you feel the need to panic poop. The urge faded, when you saw Chrissy’s car. A white square was under her wipers.

You snatched the note up, quickly unfolded it and the smirk made its way back onto your face, mimicking that of the Grinch’s when he’d come up with his plan to ruin Christmas for The Whos.

Yes was circled, several times, so it looked like you had a date with destiny after school.

“What are you so happy about?” Chrissy asked on the drive back home, a smile on her own face as bright eyes darted from the road to you and back again. The maniacal smile remained firmly in place on your face. You couldn’t help it. Everything really was falling into place for you.

“We watched Bill Nye in a segment of Almost Live in my Lab class today.”

“I love that guy, they really should give him his own show. He is kind of cute, isn’t he?”

You gave Chrissy some side-eye, “Uuuuuhhhuuuh.”

When she pulled up along the curb outside your house, you noticed she only put the car in park and made no move to unbuckle her seatbelt.

When you raised a questioning brow, she supplied, “I’m gonna run into town for a little bit. You need anything?”

Immediately, you were suspicious and if it weren’t for your plans, you might have pushed at the lame excuse. This worked for you, she’d be gone for a while and out of your business, “Nope.”

You made sure to wait until her car had disappeared around the corner before you entered your house, jumping when you saw Eddie trying to yank his good hand out of one of the vases Laura had placed near the fireplace. It had been one you made in art class back at your old high school, so naturally, she deemed it hideous, and hid it behind an even bigger vase.

It was also where you stashed your weed.

Eddie turned to you, his hand still stuck in the vase, and somehow managed to look sheepish.

You glared, shoulder sagging enough to have the strap of your back rushing down it, “Seriously?”

He shrugged his shoulders, grunt sounding small.

“Can you even smoke weed?” You asked, abandoning your backpack on the floor as you bounded over.

Eddie’s grunt in response sounded more like a scoff. Can he even smoke weed…

You took hold of the bottom of the vase, holding it still to allow Eddie to pull his hand from it, still intact—thank god. In his grip, was a brightly colored Lisa Frank pouch, meant for holding your school supplies.

It obviously did not hold your school supplies.

“Alright, bloodhound. We’ll give it a shot. Later. Right now, we’ve got big plans.” You gestured for him to follow you upstairs and he did, after stopping by the front door to retrieve your bag for you.

You shoved your bedroom door open to find the bed fully made, and Eddie’s pajamas haphazardly folded on top of your duvet.

Sparing a glance at his approaching figure, you made a mental note to stop at one of the stores in town to get him some more threads. He couldn’t wear the same thing everyday. Actually, he could but you didn’t want him to. That was gross when guys did it, especially dead ones.

Your bag was tossed to the side, and you began rummaging around in your closet in search of spare sheets, “Did you get everything else ready?”

Eddie grunted in confirmation. After he’d woken up, he’d put the items you’d requested in your van and discovered a discarded filter in there, which resulted in him searching your house for the stash you had to have.

When you emerged from the closet, arms around balled up sheets which you soon transferred to Eddie’s waiting arms, you gave him a determined look.

“Let’s do this.”

The van ride had been a quick one, and it was parked somewhere in the woods away from the roads and any foot traffic once you made it.

A quick detour was made at the cemetery before you walked over to the area behind the high school, not too much of a walk away from the cemetery. How appropriate.

You assumed it was once a family location back in the glory days of Hawkins, but you had no idea why there was only a singular picnic table there.

Come to think of it, you didn’t see any sort of grills or anything else that would make this area a popular destination, so why the hell was there a random picnic table in the middle of the woods???

Before you could give it much more thought, you heard the sound of leaves crunching and turned your head to see Eddie’s latest donor walk right through the treeline.

“Hey,” Fred grinned, a surprisingly thick finger reaching up to push his glasses further up his nose. His hair was wet, and you tried to keep your lip from curling at the knowledge that it was sweat and not just water. You had a sneaking suspicion the walk had been a challenge to him.

Show time.

“You got my note,” you breathed out, making sure the statement sounded airy and affectionate despite how the hairs on your arms were rising at the sight of the guy who’d touched you so brazenly without your consent.

“I did,” Fred confirmed, nearing you and you stood up to stop his approach, “I was really hoping you’d come around. And-And don’t worry, you don’t have to be embarrassed about the other night or anything.”

You don’t have to be embarrassed about the other night.

You.

Fred had tried to take advantage of you while you were under the influence of a drug you hadn’t known you’d taken, had whisked you away to an empty room where something sinister could have taken place had you not saved yourself—and you didn’t have to be embarrassed about what he’d done to you.

Something in you snapped, blood boiling so hot you could feel yourself sweat a little.

You didn’t even like Fred as a person, and yet you could feel something lodged in your throat, heart pumping heavy in your chest and loud in your ears. It wasn’t fear, wasn’t the anxiety that overtook you more often than not.

Rage coursed through your entire being.

You had no pity for him, Fred was going to get exactly what people like him deserved.

“I was just so nervous,” you lied, tips of your fingernails dancing over the wood of the table top as you slowly moved to the other end, “And you were so kind to look after me.”

A glance was spared in his direction, your gaze heated through your lashes.

His cheeks flushed, splotchy face gaining more color to it.

“It was nothing, really. We freaks gotta stick together, right?”

You scoffed, the sound playful though you held nothing but malice for the guy across from you.

Fred was no freak. He was a monster disguised as a nerd. You’d gone through Chrissy’s yearbook before, had seen how small he used to be. He’d evidently gained a bit of muscle since high school, swapped out a wardrobe for something slightly better, but all the physical change could do nothing to hide the little man he really was. A self-titled nice guy who wondered why girls never went for him while trying to take advantage of ones that could barely stand up on their own two feet.

At least the creeps made their nefarious intentions obvious. Fred was dangerous; someone calculating who hid his intentions behind a pair of frames and a somewhat friendly approach.

“You’re right. You’re so right, and I feel really guilty about the way I ran out on you. I was hoping…” You fiddled with your fingers, feigning a coy demeanor, “Would you let me make it up to you?”

If Fred really was worthy of some sort of stupid fucking redemption, of living, he’d say no. He’d realize how fucked up in the head he was, this whole situation was, and go get help or put himself on some sort of registry if not just disappear from the face of the earth altogether. In an ideal world, those would be possibilities.

This wasn’t that world, so Fred only nodded his head frantically as his knees began to shake.

As you led him through the woods, you briefly wondered what was going through his head. What exactly did he think you were going to do to him? Not like it really mattered, since he’d proven to be the type to try and force people to do whatever he wanted.

You felt something swipe against the side of your pinky and pulled your hand to your chest just in time to prevent Fred from taking hold of it.

At his questioning look, you just gave him a demure smile, “That’s for later.”

He just shrugged his shoulders, not at all upset about being unable to hold your hand just yet because he’d get to do other things to you.

“Where’d you say you parked your car, again?” Fred asked as the two of you approached the back of the cemetery. It was eery in this section, the area even creepier after the lightning strike. You could feel Fred’s nerves.

“Just outside of the cemetery, it’s quicker if we cut through it. Although, I have to say, I quite enjoy strolling through it. Really puts life in perspective, don’t you think?”

Fred gave a nervous chuckle, hair dampening again, “Uh-huh. I don’t have many dead relatives, so, no-uh, real reason to come on by this place.”

“What’s the matter, Freddie? You scared?”

“No way, just not one to take romantic strolls through a cemetery. I’m not scared though.” He huffed out.

You should be, you thought.

A chuckle was the only response you gave him as you neared Eddie’s grave.

“That one’s my favorite,” A polished finger was pointed in its direction and you could hear Fred’s intake of breath. Eddie’s gravesite was particularly fear inducing, the stone cracked and blackened. Patches of the grass around it had also been charred, with black arms seemingly reaching out from it. Patterns from the lightning strikes.

Fred’s steps slowed significantly, tension building until it all came to a head when he finally noticed the mounds of dirt pushed aside, a large hole in the ground just in front of his tombstone.

“We—We should really be g-getting out of here,” He stammered in fear.

“Nonsense. What? Does it creep you out? Relax, Fred. It’s just from that shit weather that night, remember? Lightning, is all. Not like the dead can just climb right out.”

Your tone was reassuring but if the noob couldn’t see the marks Eddie had made when he’d clawed his way out, couldn’t see the footprints of his shoes embedded in the mud—well, that was on him.

But Freddy boy had had enough, walking right up to you to grab hold of your wrist so he could drag you away, “Let’s just go to your van already, this place is evil as shit and his grave is not a welcome place for anyone, let alone me.”

Fred pulled you to his chest, which sent you into a panic. You hadn’t been expecting him to get physical with you so soon. Your body went into fight mode, squirming to get away from him which seemed to only annoy him as he fought to subdue you.

Before you could even voice your protest, demand he let you go or kick him in the balls, Fred yelped. His grip on your wrist disappeared and you jumped back in time to avoid his body colliding with yours as he went crashing down to the ground.

Your breathing was labored, relief morphing into the best kind of elation when you spotted the hand, coming from the hole in the grave, wrapped around Fred’s now twisted ankle.

Fred turned to stare down at it, too. His mouth dropped in horror, body shaking like a leaf as the two of you watched Eddie Munson rise from the grave.

The shriek Fred let out was decidedly girlish in nature, high pitched and almost impressive. You couldn’t have anyone hearing him though, so you dealt a swift kick to his mouth.

You didn’t use much of your strength, but the kick still sent him onto his back. He groaned, reaching a hand up to his mouth and you noticed his teeth were staining a shade of red, blood dripping from the corner of his mouth.

“Feeling ambushed, Freddie? Violated, perhaps?” You hissed down at him, mind flashing back to that night, feeling so disoriented and lost and wrong as he’d cupped your breast, felt you up while you could barely string a coherent sentence together and still said no.

Fred groaned again, hunching over to spit out some blood, “What the fuck?” He asked, voice sounding dazed.

You didn’t notice your kick had also knocked his glasses off his face until he was shakily reaching for them. One of the lenses was cracked. It didn’t impair his vision too much, though, because he started screaming again when he caught sight of Eddie again, who’d climbed completely out of the grave and stood just over your shoulder, glaring menacingly down at him.

“Stop screaming, you banshee.” You quickly squatted down, scooped up some dirt and shoved it into his mouth. He fought against your palm, but the idea had the desired effect; Fred was too busy coughing the dirt out to scream.

“Please,” he croaked out, tongue sticking out of his mouth, “Stop! Please don’t hurt me. I didn’t know what I was doing!”

The chuckle you let out was void of humor. Of course, when a man has to answer for his evil ass actions, suddenly he’s capable of admitting what he did wasn’t in the right. Too fucking bad for him. You were about to tell Fred it was far too late for pleas, until his next round of statements made you realize his begging wasn’t directed at you.

“It was Chance! An-And Andy! It was their idea, I had nothing to do with it! I mean—I mean, I was just the lookout! How was I supposed to know what they would do?”

Your brows furrowed in confusion, and you looked over your shoulder at Eddie who appeared just as perplexed as you.

His brown eyes bore into yours, searching for the question in them before he shook his head.

You turned your attention back to the weasel cowering on the ground, “You know him?”

Fred’s gaze darted frantically from you to Eddie as he kept stuttering. He’d clearly caught on to you being unaware, and possibly Eddie. You couldn’t have him keeping secrets, though, so you reached for the ax Eddie had pulled out of the grave where’d he’d hidden it and Fred let out an inhuman line of gibberish.

“Yes! Yes, okay, yes, I know him!”

You weighed the ax in your hand, glaring down at Fred. You just needed this fuckers hand for Eddie. That’s it, just needed his hand and you couldn’t let him live after that.

It’s not like he’d just let Eddie have it, go about his life pretending like he didn’t know there was a deadman walking around with his hand after the two of you cut it off.

That’s all you needed of Fred, and now he was mentioning having known Eddie. Implying something was done to Eddie, and you had a sickly feeling you knew exactly what.

Did Eddie want to know? Would it do more good than bad?

You turned your attention to Eddie once more, and found that he was already watching you. There was nothing expectant in his gaze. Despite the circumstances, and the guy shaking like a leaf on the ground with broken teeth and a broken wrist, Eddie didn’t appear menacing to you at all.

Just looked like he was waiting to follow your cue. And you remembered how he’d come to your rescue so many times already. It was high time you started showing up for him.

“Explain.” You demanded of Fred, handing the ax back to Eddie.

Fred looked hesitant, only speaking when you turned to Eddie as if to deliver the instruction to kill Fred, “It was…It was after graduation. Look, I don’t know everything, okay? Chance and Andy told me I had to meet them at the Quarry and just make sure no one else came by but Eddie. I wasn’t thinking, I was just scared as hell about someone else showing up, like what was I supposed to do to stop them? I was a twig! And then—And then, everyone came running out and yelling to scram and run for it! So…I did.”

You watched as Fred seemed to shrink before your eyes, back to that scrawny boy you’d seen in the yearbooks.

“I…I didn’t find out until my mom turned on the news later that night…I didn’t know Eddie was dead until then.”

You couldn’t do anything to stop the shaky croak, a hot tear trailing quickly down your cheek as Fred confirmed Eddie had been murdered.

Your Eddie, the sassy guy with long curly hair, a mischievous and playful nature, so far from hostile unless someone was a direct threat to you.

He’d been harmed, his life stolen. The rage you’d felt earlier was nothing compared to the craze you were spiraling into.

“They killed him,” You whispered out, nearly shaking. When Fred gave a slow nod of confirmation, you just about shrieked, “And you didn’t tell anyone?! You didn’t go to the police!?”

Fred looked at you like you were out of your mind to even suggest that of him, “And tell them what? That I was the one making sure no one interrupted? I would have gone to prison.”

Your mouth dropped open.

Okay.

Yes, you were fucked up. Your emotionally, mentally, and apparently physically abusive mother was dead and you’d played a role in that. But she was only dead because she meant to seriously harm you, and Eddie had stepped in to protect you. If it had been someone innocent, someone like Chrissy, you would have taken the blame and the prison time. You wouldn’t have been able to live with yourself.

But this motherfucker knew Eddie had been murdered that night, had not been too far away when it happened, and hadn’t told a soul because he was afraid of possibly being held responsible. Always only thinking of saving his fucking skin.

“You selfish son of a bitch!” You spat out, “Eddie died that night, you knew he was murdered and you let them get away with it! If you weren’t an accessory then, you sure are now!”

“Does it look like I was meant to be in a cell!? Admonish me all you want, I did what was best for myself! I can’t take it back, what’s done is done. Besides, you didn’t know him. Eddie–he was a burnout. He wasn’t gonna do anything worthwhile anyways.”

You couldn’t believe someone so pathetic EXISTED!

It made you want to scream, but you held it in, physically having to close your eyes and take deep breaths before you made the last demand that would determine what would happen next.

“Go to the police. Tell them everything. You can even tell them about me, and you can try telling them about Eddie,” You jabbed a finger into your zombie boy’s direction, “They’ll never believe you about that, though.”

Fred blinked at you, incredulous.

“I’m not telling anyone anything. I’m not going to jail. I’m not.”

You nodded your head a couple of times, running a hand over your hair. “Yeah, okay, you’re right.”

Then, you grabbed the ax from Eddie’s grasp, swinging it down onto Fred’s propped up wrist. It was a clean cut, hand perfectly severed and Fred let out a scream.

“You’re not going to jail.”

Blood spurted from the wound and you cringed back a little, wishing he’d aim it away or something. Gross.

“Why’d you do that—oh my GOD, my HAND!”

Fred was in hysterics, clutching his arm, and really you couldn’t blame him. It probably sucked to lose your hand this way but he wouldn’t have to suffer for long.

You picked up the appendage, waving it around triumphantly.

“Why are you bitching? What’s done is done. I’m holding your hand like you wanted.”

Eddie made a sound behind you and turned to hand him the…hand.

“Here, this is yours now.”

Fred whimpered as you positioned yourself over him, ax in hand and poised near your head.

“The hand is Eddie’s, but chopping it off was for me. You’re never gonna touch another girl, never gonna cause harm with it. Never again. This, however,” you adjusted your grip on the ax, making sure you had a good handle on it, “Is for Eddie. It’s nothing personal, it's just that I hate you and you shouldn’t have been too much of a bitch to report a murder.”

With that, the ax came down. Fred didn’t make any more noise.

“So, you really don’t remember much about dying?” You asked for the third time, perched on Eddie’s headstone as he shoveled dirt over the grave to seal it once more.

“Uhn, uhn.”

“Can’t remember faces?”

“Uhn, uhn.”

“…Did it hurt?”

Eddie paused in his ministrations, stabbing the shovel into the ground as he leaned against it and seemed to ponder your question. You wondered if he was trying to recall the answer, or if he was debating on whether or not he should answer.

You got your answer a few moments later when Eddie slowly nodded his head, shoes smoothing over the surface of the dirt before he pulled the shovel out and gestured for you to follow him back to the van.

Eddie was quiet, something had changed. Aside from, you know, your body count.

You had an inkling it bothered Eddie to not know what happened to him. Not a whole lot of your thought went into it, but Eddie had to have been mourned by someone. He had that tombstone, the inscription. Those weren’t cheap and someone had to have cared for him enough to make sure he had it. Did he have a mom and dad? A guardian? Family?

He’d left people behind, against his will and probably had no idea where they were now.

You hoped he didn’t feel alone in the world.

It wasn’t impulsive, it was an action that came from a great deal of caring… you reached out for the hand still attached to his body. It wasn’t warm, and it wasn’t cold, either. What it was, was comforting.

From your peripheral vision, you could see his head turn to you in surprise and you met his gaze, offering a smile and a squeeze to his hand you were sure he couldn’t feel.

Until he squeezed yours back.

“We didn’t even need the sheets.” You realized out loud. Originally, you were gonna wrap Fred up, weigh him down with some rocks and throw him in Lover’s Lake. It had been Eddie’s idea to bury him. By that, you meant he just dug out the rest of his grave (impressive with one hand) and rolled Fred into it.

RIP FrEddie Munson.

After a quick trip into town to get some things for Eddie (he had to lay down in the back), and pick up some more thread, the two of you made it home to find no one else had which worked in your favor.

You didn’t bother changing out of your bloody clothes just yet. You still had some Frankenstein work to do with a live-ish appendage, so you found yourself on Eddie’s lap, sewing his new hand into place.

It would have been quicker if you could focus but Eddie’s face was just a few inches away from yours and he would not look away. The side of your face his gaze was boring into felt hotter than the other side and it was making you nervous for some reason. Not a bad nervous, just…nervous.

You decided to break the tension.

“Oh, shit, this is the wrong hand.”

That did the trick, you felt him tense up underneath you and Eddie’s head darted down to make sure he didn’t have two of the same hand, body relaxing when he realized you were joking.

“Got’cha.” You grinned, eyes scanning over his features. You felt your heartbeat stutter when you noticed the twitch at the corner of his lips. Eddie was smiling at you.

Swallowing hard, you cleared your throat, gave him a tight smile, and went back to work.

He groaned on one particular tug of the thread, and you paused with a wince, “Did that hurt?”

He shook his head, but he was also making a bit of a face.

“Feel unpleasant?”

“Mm.”

“Sorry,” You were a little more gentle in your actions, trying to carefully weave the needle through his wrist, and his new hand, making sure your tugs were extra gentle which he appeared to appreciate, nuzzling his head against yours for a brief moment.

You nearly convulsed.

Once the hand was on, the thread had been snipped and neatly secured, it was to the tanning bed!!!

You got him all situated, made sure he didn’t hit his head and then watched him light up.

The smell of burnt hair filled the mini garage, and you made a mental note to pick up some hair products later. Eddie’s curls were gonna need it if they wanted to stay attached to his scalp, though you supposed you could probably scalp someone should he need a replacement.

Argyle, a guy who worked at one of the local pizza places, had long luxurious locks of hair, but you couldn’t do that to him. He was a nice dude, stuck in a permanent trip for sure, and so always pleasant to you. He was also your dealer and you were pretty sure his girlfriend was a witch. The last thing you needed was to be cursed or hexed. Or turned into a goat.

Settling in for what you expected to be a long wait while Eddie tanned, you were surprised when just a few moments later, all sparking stopped. Figuring you didn't set the right temperature to bake him at, you moved to mess with the dial only for a hand to curl out and push the lid of the bed up.

Eddie’s time in the tanning bed, while somewhat briefer this time, still seemed to have cooked him. Smoke dripped out, flowing almost syrup-like down to the floor where it all seemed to pool and twist around your ankles as the bright blue lights of the bed’s panels cast the room in a euphoric glow.

You stared wordlessly, mouth parted in complete enchantment–and you swore you could hear the intro to Ozzy Osbourne’s No More Tears in the background like some godly music video on MTV–as Eddie’s figure emerged from the smoke still gathered in the bed.

And in seemingly slow motion to your captivated self, Eddie pulled the goggles over his head, hair tousling just the right amount. His movements were fluid, not a stiff limb in sight. In fact, he even stretched out, shirt riding up to expose his pale—no longer a completely sickly shade—stomach and a smattering of dark hair that made up his happy trail.

Uh oh. Something was going on in your body.

It was only when that happy tail was covered again, Eddie hunching forward, that you realized you were staring at his crotch region. Your eyes drifted up to find Eddie staring at you, more life in those warm, gorgeous eyes of his, framed by attractive dark circles as he smirked at you. No twitching of his lips, no maybe smiles. It was a full on smirk. Eddie was in complete control of his face (and you noticed his cheeks dimpled when he smiled).

He lifted his new hand and wiggled his fingers at you in greeting. That’s when you lost it, jumping up and down in elation.

“OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!”

Eddie was fast, pushing himself off the tanning bed to dart forward and sweep you right out of the garage, spinning you around and around.

You clung to him, laughing and filled with so much joy at the knowledge that Eddie was coming back to life. When he decided you’d been spun enough, and your head was a whirlwind, he released you and you stumbled a little, finding your balance with the hand Eddie offered to you for stabilization.

“Look at you.” You breathed out in amazement. It was more of a whisper but Eddie heard. He looked pleased, gesturing to himself with a sweep of his wrists, Look at me.

You were correct in your scrutinization of him when you’d first played dress-up.

Eddie Munson was very much so hot when he was alive. There was no doubt in your mind. You hadn’t seen a whole lot of his movements, what with him finally being able to move freely occurring just a few moments ago, but you were inclined to believe he was extremely theatrical in them. Probably in everything he did.

And confident.

Eddie seemed to have had enough of the small distance between the two of you, twirling you back in his grasp so you were pressed right up to him, his hands on your sides to hold you. He was grinning like an idiot and you were positive your face was no better. Your cheeks were beginning to hurt from your smile.

“So. You’re the infamous Eddie Munson.”

He rolled his eyes and you laughed, something inside of you warming up at the smile he gave you in response to it.

“It’s nice to meet you, Eddie. I’ve been wanting to for a while now.”

#Eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x y/n #Freak like me #lisa frankenstein #lisa frankenstein inspo #Zombie!eddie munson #dead!eddie munson #undead!eddie munson #eddie munson fic #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson au #Eddie munson angst #eddie munson fanfic #Eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson #Steve harrington x reader #eddie munson x black!reader

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baisemains · 3 months ago

Text

Elements of Desire

Chapter 6: On the Mend

single mom!sevika x reader

word count: 6.3k

contains: angst-ish, tension, language, food mention, vi (iykyk), some fluff!

description: school is back in session and after learning of some good news, you and sevika must learn to chart unfamiliar waters.

ao3 link | spotify playlist

previous | next // sevika masterlist

Monday morning, your eyes spring open before your alarm can even do its job, and you waste no time getting ready. Putting more effort than usual into your look today, you try at least four different outfits before deciding on one that’s a perfect balance between eye catching and comfortable.

Loading your things into your car, you put on your feel good playlist for your drive to work, determined to have a great day. Once there, your nerves start to creep in, but you do your best to settle them and remember that there’s no stakes involved with your announcement later. Sort of.

As usual, Ekko is the first one to arrive to class and he walks right up to your desk sporting a huge grin.

“Who has two thumbs and is going to the next round of the science fair?”

Pointing to himself, you match his smile and round your desk, hugging the boy.

“So proud of you dude, you have no idea how happy I was when I read your name in the email.”

Ekko had submitted this same project the previous two years but failed to make it past the first round each time. You had suggested doing something different this year but he stuck to his gut and it paid off.

“Thanks Teach, I couldn't have done it without your support, though.”

Letting him go, you place your hand on his shoulders and shake your head.

“That’s all you kid, from the idea to the execution. I was just a sounding board.”

Smiling, you walk up to the whiteboard and start writing the topic for today’s lesson, conversing with Ekko about what he did over his break. A few minutes later, the conversation ends when students start filing in and he turns around to walk to his desk, you doing the same. Pausing when you remember something, you spin around and call out to the boy.

“Hey! Um, Powder doesn’t know that she got in yet, so if she asks you about it, just say I haven’t said anything, cool?”

“Wait, she passed too?”

Nodding, you see his eyes light up as he fights back a smile and you quirk a brow. Interesting.

“Yeah, I forgot to email her mom when I told your parents,” you lied.

“Cool. I won’t say anything then.”

Schooling his face back into a neutral expression, Ekko continues his journey to his workstation and you face the whiteboard once again. You thought he would have been annoyed at best that Powder was also accepted, his lab partner being his competition for such a prestigious prize seems like it would be a nightmare.

Starting to think about it, the two have had tension between them since they met, but you honestly thought it was because they just didn’t get along. Smiling to yourself, you think, could there be a little crush there?

A couple more kids arriving brings your attention back to what you were doing, and you quickly finish writing what you had to on the board. Eventually, most of the class is in their seats, and when you glance up from your computer, you see Powder walking up to you.

“Hi Teach,” she says, unusually shy.

Smiling at the girl, you realize that you know nothing about what her last couple weeks have been like and it tugs at your heart.

“Hi Powder, how was your break?”

Beaming, Powder starts relaying everything she did, the girl’s animated storytelling making you laugh several times. She sees how your expression slightly changes every time Sevika is mentioned, and it almost makes her frown.

“So, I brought you a little something back. Or a couple somethings, actually.”

Reaching into her bag, she pulls out three keychains and raises them in your direction. You instantly pout, not expecting the gesture at all.

“Powder, you didn’t have to get me anything.”

Taking them in your hands, you look at each one in detail, loving them instantly.

“I wanted to though, these last few months would’ve been a lot harder without you.”

Looking up, you see the vulnerable look on the girl’s face and it almost brings a tear to your eye.

“Plus they were too cute to pass up, look at the dolphin one.”

To prove her point, she flicks one of the keychains, causing it to spin in circles. Setting them all down on your desk, you walk to stand in front of her, engulfing her in an embrace.

“This was so nice of you Powder, thank you. It means more than you know.”

She returns the hug, giving you a quick squeeze. No matter what her sister said, she believed you were a good person, and conversations like this only proved that.

“You’re my favorite teacher, I had to.”

Pulling apart, you thank her again and Powder begins heading to her seat. You catch Ekko’s eye, nodding your head to remind him of what you said earlier. Once everyone else arrives and the bell rings, you get their attention and begin the day’s lesson.

Soon enough, the end of the day rolls around and Sevika will be arriving shortly for your impromptu meeting. You’ve somehow managed to not think about it since the morning but as the clock ticks by, your nerves return. Busying yourself with organizing your classroom as if it’s something she’ll care about, you flit about from corner to corner, tidying up.

You hear footsteps in the hallway and almost sprint to the front of the room, cleaning off the board in an attempt to look casual when your visitors walk in. Hearing a knock from the doorway, you slowly turn around, instantly making eye contact with the woman who’s been plaguing your thoughts.

Neither of you say anything for a moment as you observe each other, and your stomach does a little flip when you see Sevika look you up and down. All that time picking out my outfit was worth it, then. You notice that her skin is a bit darker than the last time you saw her, and you mentally thank the beach Powder was telling you about this morning. She’s wearing a boxy work jacket you’ve never seen before over her signature plain white tee and dark jeans and though it’s simple, it brings a tingle to the back of your neck. She looks good.

“Hey Teach.”

Powder is absolutely beaming when you look over at her, recognizing her presence as well. Knowing you’ve been caught, you clear your throat and straighten up your posture, welcoming them in.

“Hi Powder. Sevika. Please, come sit down.”

The two of them move into the room and you allow yourself to stare at Sevika’s profile while you can, taking in every detail. It gives you deja vu, but there couldn’t be a bigger difference in your situation from then to now. Once they take their seats, you walk over to them, leaving a healthy distance between you.

“So, I received an email from the science fair committee last night regarding their decision. And I know I said that I would let you know as soon as I heard anything, but this felt important enough that I had to give you the results in person.”

A sharp inhale catches your attention and your gaze shifts to Powder, looking like she’s about to faint.

“Oh jeez.”

Sevika glances from Powder to you, an expectant look on her face. She didn’t show it, but she was actually nervous, and your tone wasn’t helping.

“What did they say?”

Taking a deep breath, a smile spreads onto your face as you tell them the news.

“Congratulations Powder, you made it to the next round.”

Jumping up, the girl immediately runs over to you, shoving her face into your chest as she wraps her arms around you, eyes welling with tears.

“Really?!”

At the same time, Sevika leans back in her chair as she brings both hands to her face, letting out the breath she was holding. Once you and Powder separate, she stands up, speed walks over to the two of you, and picks her daughter up, spinning her around.

Before you can blink, Sevika puts her down and embraces you next, catching you off guard. Immediately melting into her, you hug her back, feeling the muscles rippling underneath your fingertips while her cologne fills your nose. You vaguely hear a sigh, and you’re unsure of who it comes from.

Once Sevika realizes what she’s done, she straightens up and lets her arms fall away. Clearing her throat as she takes a step back and runs a hand through her hair, the tension hangs between you.

“Um, wow, this is amazing news.”

Nodding, you take a breath to try and clear your head of the Sevika induced brain fog. Itching to reach back out for her, you settle your hands on your hips in an attempt to keep them occupied.

“Absolutely, it’s well deserved too, her presentation was amazing.”

You then begin discussing what will likely come next, hearing from other teacher friends of yours who have been through the process before. The entire time, Powder’s eyes are bouncing back and forth between the two of you, a smirk plastered on her face. She knew Sevika still had a thing for you, and you clearly returned the feeling.

“And I’ll email all of this to you too, it’s best to have it in writing.”

Looking at Sevika, you try your best to keep a neutral expression as you talk, but a smile is fighting its way out the entire time.

“Like before, Powder will have to start staying after school again to work on this, and even though she’s up against less kids than before, attention to detail is going to be incredibly important and what’ll make her stand out from the rest.”

Nodding along, Sevika is absorbing everything you’re saying and reality starts settling in. The two of you will be back in constant communication, and as much as she thought she’d be upset about it, she actually feels a bit…happy. Yes, she had sprouted a little crush on you, but more importantly, you had begun a friendship, and she missed that more than anything. She decides that that’s a problem for later, and by the time you wrap up the meeting, her discomfort has subsided and she actually smiles.

You end your spiel with a nod and a smile, confident that Powder has what it takes to get to the next level.

“Take tonight, celebrate, and tomorrow, we’ll talk about when to start up again.”

“Sounds good.”

Sevika moves to give you a handshake, debating if she should say what else is on her mind. Not seeing any reason not to, she continues.

“And thank you for everything you’ve done for Powder, it means more than you know.”

Shaking your head, you tell her it’s not a big deal and Powder gives you another quick hug, waving as the two of them begin making their way toward the exit. Sevika then turns around, giving you a quick smile before she disappears through the doorway. You can tell it’s genuine, and a feeling of joy bubbles up in your chest.

Arriving home, Powder sprints out of the car to tell her sisters the news, leaving Sevika alone to take a breather. It was so nice seeing you in person again, even if she wouldn’t admit it to anyone.

She missed the way you brightened up a room with your positivity, always making her feel comfortable. It was so easy to talk to you, she never felt like she had to force anything, and though she had other friendships, it was different with you. Shaking her head, she gets out and walks in the house, thinking about what to cook for dinner.

By this time, Powder is already relaying what happened to the other girls, bouncing with excitement. They immediately congratulate her, Vi giving her a noogie, causing Powder to chase her around the house until Sevika walks in and Vi takes refuge behind her.

“Mom, Vi keeps messing with me!” Powder whines as Vi sticks her tongue out from behind the woman.

Taking no time to assess the situation, Sevika groans and pushes the two girls apart.

“Come on guys, we just got home.”

The two teenagers start bickering when Sevika claps her hands once, the noise silencing the room.

“Enough. We just got some great news, you guys should be happy.”

Caitlyn and Isha only look at each other, containing their laughs as the two get scolded.

“Anyways, I was thinking, you guys feel like going out to dinner tonight? We should celebrate.”

All the girls cheer at that, eating somewhere outside their home was a rare treat. Not that they had many meals that could top Sevika’s cooking, but it was always a fun experience. Looking towards Powder, Sevika asks her if she had any place in mind and her eyes light up immediately.

“Hibachi! I wanna see if I can catch more shrimp than last time.”

Of course, Sevika thinks. Leave it to her middle child to choose somewhere they play with your food and light it on fire.

“Okay then, give me a bit to shower and change and we’ll leave.”

Heading to her room, Sevika hears Powder and Isha grabbing snacks to practice for the restaurant, making sure to tell them not to fill up before dinner.

Once they arrive at the restaurant, Powder chooses the middle seat directly in front of where the chef will be, leaving everyone else to fill in around her. Sevika chooses to sit two seats down from her, putting Isha in the middle of them, and Vi and Caitlyn take their seats on the other side of Powder.

A little while later, almost all of the seats around the grill are filled and Powder can't wait for dinner to start. Her and Isha are going over strategy when she sees someone stop in their tracks behind Sevika and looks up, eyes widening.

“Teach!”

As soon as your meeting with Sevika and Powder ended, you were in a happier mood and it took you no time to pack up and grab your things.

You didn’t feel like staying home, though the weather outside was miserable, and texted your roommates if they were free to go to dinner with you. Two of them said yes, the other was at work and wouldn’t be home until later so she declined. Hearting all of the responses, you drove home and thought about where to go.

Once there, your roommates were almost ready to leave, and when you saw their outfits, you decided to upgrade your look into something a bit nicer than what you had on.

When you all finished, you piled into your car and put on a relaxing playlist for the drive. The three of you started talking about your days, and eventually the conversation landed on Sevika and the meeting. You confided in them how seeing her in person made you feel, and after they exchanged glances, they asked you what you planned to do moving forward.

At that question, you paused and thought of your answer carefully.

“I’m not sure, there was a little bit of a moment when she hugged me, but that could’ve just been excitement, and because she doesn’t want it to be awkward. The next deadline is in a month, so we’re gonna be around each other until then.”

You swear you could’ve heard a record scratch at the casual confession.

“Wait, back up. She hugged you? Like a full on ‘arms wrapped around you’ kind of hug?”

Sheepishly glancing at your friends, you nodded.

“Yeah, she was happy about the news, it’s understandable.”

“Right, I’m sure she goes around doing that to all her kids’ teachers.”

Exhaling harshly, you attempted to gather your thoughts.

“Honestly, I’m trying not to think about it too much cause I don’t wanna get excited over something that isn’t concrete.”

Your roommates nodded in understanding and one spoke up next.

“Well, we’re always here for you, no matter what happens.”

You looked at her through the rearview mirror and smiled in gratitude, they really did always have your back.

When you walked into the restaurant, your two roommates continued their conversation behind you as the host led you all to your table. As you made your way over, you saw a familiar silhouette sitting towards the corner of it and your stomach sank as your fear was confirmed.

So now here you are, standing in front of the woman you were just thinking about, eyes locked with a tension so palpable you can’t tear your gaze away. Her eyes look you up and down, even more intensely than earlier, and heat begins crawling up your back before spreading throughout your body.

Remembering you still haven’t responded to Powder, you snap out of it and say hello, looking at everyone else sitting with her. When Vi catches your eye, you see the scowl etched on her face and she looks away, ignoring you.

Isha leaps out of her seat to give you a hug, arms wrapping around your waist. You return the gesture and let her go as she signs that she’s happy to see you. Meanwhile, your roommates are behind you, watching this entire interaction with curiosity.

Standing back up, you glance around the table and see that the only empty seats are next to Sevika.

Just your luck that it would be fully packed on a Monday.

“Do you mind if we take these?”

Looking back at the woman, she quickly shakes her head as she extends her hand out towards them.

“No, of course not, go ahead.”

You, being the closest to her, take the seat right next to Sevika as your roommates sidle in beside you. Your heartbeat is thrumming by now, hyper aware of your movements and how close the two of you are.

Turning away from her, you see the looks on your roommates faces, slight frowns as they glance over at Sevika. Mouthing stop it, one of them rolls her eyes as the other looks at the menu in front of her. A waitress then comes by and quickly takes your orders before leaving you alone with your thoughts again.

Now you’re stuck. You’re not sure if it’s rude to ignore Sevika, while also feeling like you’re obligated to talk to her because you’re sitting next to each other. Rubbing your temples, you hope the chef comes out soon so you can have some sort of a distraction.

Your prayers are shortly answered when she arrives a minute later, immediately throwing food on the grill, causing Powder to cheer. You watch as her and Isha are enraptured by the flames, bringing a smile to your face. Those two may usually be shy kids, but seeing their personalities surface like this warms your heart.

Hearing your name, you turn around and see your roommates engrossed in a conversation, one of them catching your eye and leaning in towards you, whispering.

“That’s the oldest daughter? The one at the end?”

You try to recall the seating order from memory, not wanting to turn around and have someone catch you looking.

“The girl with the red hair, yeah, next to her is her girlfriend.”

Seeing her glance over, she looks up and down, assessing Vi, you assume.

“Hm. Okay.”

“Stop looking, I don’t need to give her another reason not to like me.”

Looking towards the chef, you watch her for a few seconds before your attention is brought back to your roommate.

“Hey, why don’t you just tell her what really happened? Clear the air and let her know that’s not the person you are.”

At her comment, you slowly shake your head, knowing Sevika wouldn’t go for that. Why would she believe you over her own daughter?

“I think it’s too late for that. She didn’t reach out the whole two week break, that says enough.”

Looking at Sevika from the corner of your eye, you see her staring at the fire with a blank expression, seemingly lost in her own thoughts.

“Wait, didn’t you say you had copies of all the texts between Gert and the side bitch?”

Suddenly, old memories come flooding back. You had emailed yourself screenshots of Gert’s cheating when you were still deciding whether you should leave her. That was only meant for your eyes though, showing them to someone else who wasn’t involved didn’t seem right.

“I don’t know, that feels…wrong.”

Sighing, they look at you with exasperated looks on their faces before one of them speaks up.

“Look, I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but if you like this lady, you have a way to clear your name, that’s all I’m saying. Don’t keep letting your old shit get in the way of something new.”

Leaning back in her chair, she turns to watch the chef tossing shrimp to people at the table, ending the conversation. Sighing, you know she’s right, and you needed the tough love, it was just the idea of exposing how badly someone treated you that made you apprehensive.

You hear Powder’s voice next to you, turning your head and seeing her almost stand up from her chair to get the cook’s attention. Everyone cheers when she catches a piece, and you clap for her, setting your hands on the table when you brush something. Looking down, you see that Sevika also has her hand laid on the table and you freeze.

How had you not noticed it was so close to yours until now?

You were suddenly extremely aware of her, realizing the woman was sitting closer than you thought. Sevika must have noticed too, because her hand twitched and pulled away, moving to lay on her thigh instead.

Before you could react, the chef calls out and you look back toward her to see what she’s talking about. Holding a piece of shrimp on her spatula, she gestures towards Sevika, who sternly shakes her head, much to the disappointment of her daughters. Powder and Isha start jeering before she quiets them with a raise of an eyebrow, reminding them of where they’re at.

The chef then turns to you, and your eyes widen. Opening your mouth to tell her no, you hear a “Yeah, Teach!” to your left and see Powder smiling at you. Isha gives you two thumbs up and even your roommates start quietly cheering you on. With so much attention directed your way, you feel obligated to say yes so you look back towards the chef and nod.

Watching the shrimp fly through the air, you can tell you won’t catch it unless you move, so you lean back just a bit further in your seat, or so you think. It feels like everything is moving in slow motion as your feet leave the ground and your chair starts tipping back, the feeling of falling settling in your stomach. Hearing gasps from around the table, you brace yourself for impact, praying your ego will recover from what’s about to happen.

Suddenly, your chair stops moving and you fly forward, all feet planted back on the ground. Glancing around, you then see Sevika’s arm wrapped around the back of your seat and a worried look on her face. Clearing your throat, you scratch the back of your neck and tear your gaze away from her, knowing your entire table, and maybe the whole restaurant, just witnessed you almost falling on your ass. Powder and Isha look shocked, and behind them, Vi has a smirk plastered on her face, clearly enjoying your misstep. You hear your friends asking if you’re okay, and after slightly nodding, you face Sevika to give her your gratitude, fighting through your embarrassment.

“Um, thanks. That could've been really bad.”

She only nods, looking at you with an understanding gleam in her eye.

“Don’t mention it, I’ve seen my fair share of falls with those three.”

She points her head in the girls’ direction, and you know she has stories. Holding back a smile, a vision of a tired Sevika protecting her rowdy girls springs to mind, and it’s adorable.

“Yeah, I bet they keep you on your toes.”

You look over at the girls, who are talking amongst themselves, no doubt about what just happened, and let out a small chuckle. It’s not hard to imagine them as little runts, constantly running Sevika ragged. Thinking about what an amazing parent she is, your gaze returns to the woman to see her already staring at you.

Her gaze catches you off guard, and she breaks eye contact right away, turning back towards the flame. Looking down towards your hands in your lap, you smile to yourself, starting to watch the chef again before hearing her voice cut through the noise of the restaurant.

“The girls missed you.”

Whipping your head towards her, you see that Sevika isn’t looking at you but straight ahead. You weren’t expecting her to strike up a conversation at this point in the night but you take advantage of the opening.

“I…missed them too.”

A sad smile adorns her face at that, and you get the urge to kiss it away. Thankfully, she speaks before you can embarrass yourself further.

“They didn’t stop talking about you our entire trip. Did Powder give you the keychains she bought?”

Slowly nodding, she turns her head towards you and lets her eyes flicker between yours, giving you the chance to do the same.

God, she’s beautiful.

“Good. She was really excited about them.”

The two of you make small talk from there, talking about the restaurant and the weather. After a few minutes, the conversation naturally ends and you no longer feel the awkward tension from earlier. You pick up your glass to take a sip when your attention is grabbed once again.

“So…when should Powder bring her project back to school? I get off early tomorrow so I can bring it with me when I pick her up.” She clears her throat, “If that’s okay with you.”

Looking over at her, you see the apprehension on her face and let yourself smile this time.

“Yeah, that works. You know where to park.”

The two of you get pulled into other conversations but the thought of seeing each other the next day carries you through the rest of the evening.

Eventually, dinner comes to an end and it’s time to go your separate ways, all of you standing up to leave.

Powder and Isha are the first ones to say goodbye, hugging you and telling you they missed you. Hearing them echo Sevika’s words from earlier warms your heart and has you squeezing them a little tighter. Sevika follows behind them, bidding you and your roommates good night with a tight lipped smile, and you return the gesture, albeit with a genuine one. Vi brings up the rear, dragging Caitlyn past you, but not before Caitlyn can sneakily wave at you behind her girlfriend’s back.

Not until they leave and you start your own journey to the exit do you realize that you failed to introduce everyone. Thinking about it, it probably wouldn’t have gone well so you decide it was for the best. Your roommates then pipe up behind you as you all reach the car.

“The girls were so cute saying bye to you, they seem really sweet.”

You beam as if they were your own, getting in and buckling up, checking all your mirrors.

“Yeah, they’re really good kids. Sevika’s doing a great job with them.”

The two of them exchange a knowing glance but say nothing. The drive home is filled with jokes and banter, and once you arrive, you see that your third roommate is in the living room on her laptop. Skipping hellos, your other two friends immediately start telling her about how the night went, not leaving out a single detail. When they get to the part where you almost fell and Sevika caught you, her mouth is agape and she starts laughing.

“Listen, I’m not her biggest fan but that was smooth, I’ll admit.”

They then tell her about how you two started talking later on, and they ask you what the conversation was about.

“Literally just the weather and how dinner was. And that she could bring Powder’s project back to school tomorrow.”

“So…that means you guys have to talk again?”

Biting your lip, you think thankfully.

“Well yeah, it’s the same schedule as before. Except now we have less time before the next deadline.”

Your roommate only nods at that, hearing the slight nerves in your voice, and you change the subject, afraid of getting your hopes up.

An hour later, you all decide to head to bed, tired from the day. Gliding through your bedtime routine as if on autopilot, you climb under the covers and wrap them tightly around yourself. That night, you dream of grey eyes and steady hands.

The next day passes by uneventfully, and after the final bell rings, Powder walks in, holding onto her backpack straps with a smile.

“Hey, Teach.”

You turn around and wave her in, clearing off your desk. Sevika had texted you a few minutes ago that she was on her way with Powder’s project so now the two of you are waiting for her, talking about a new movie that’s coming out soon. Your phone buzzes in your pocket, and when you check the screen, you see a text simply saying “Here”.

You both walk out to the parking lot, propping open the main door as you make your way over to the truck parked nearby. Sevika’s already grabbed the two biggest boxes, hauling them with no effort and the sight never fails to make you swoon.

“The smaller two are in the backseat, you guys can grab those.”

Breezing past you, you’re able to stop yourself from looking directly at her, but the little bit you catch in your peripheral has you smiling. Snapping out of it, you remind yourself that you’re only trying to be cordial with her, nothing else.

Picking up the remaining boxes, you and Powder quickly follow Sevika inside to your classroom, setting them down in the corner. Looking around, you try to decide between asking if Powder can start working on it now or letting her go home for the day.

Sevika watches you walk in with an indiscernible look on her face, arms crossed over her chest as she waits for your direction. As the boxes are set down, she takes her phone out of her pocket, looking at something and making the decision for you.

“I’ve gotta head back to the shop real quick, but I can leave Powder here if you guys want to get started.”

Shifting her gaze towards you then Powder, you tell her it’s fine and she puts her phone back into her pocket, kissing her daughter on the head as she heads towards the door. Turning around, she calls out to you.

“Be back in a bit!”

As soon as she’s out the door, Powder starts to work, taking out the supplies she needs before placing them on the table. Watching her for a moment, you decide to start some grading at your desk, turning on your computer and pulling up the stack of papers.

Time seems to blur as you’re distracted by the numbers and comments you’re putting on the tests. Glancing back up, you see that Powder is still working diligently. You’ve come to appreciate how good she is at staying focused.

A rough knock at the door breaks you out of your thoughts, your head whipping towards the sound. You call out to let the person come in, assuming it’s Sevika.

When the door opens, you’re surprised to see Vi standing in the doorway. Her eyes flick around the room, a curious expression on her face when she sees Powder working, but a scowl replacing it as her gaze lands on you.

“Sev got caught up with something else, so she sent me to pick up Powder.”

You murmur out a stern okay, watching Vi stroll over to her sister as she looks over her shoulder at the project.

“What is it?”

Powder looks up, eyeing the girl.

“If I explain, will you understand what I’m talking about?”

“No.”

“Then why would I?”

The interaction causes you to hold in a smile, careful not to let them see you. Powder is feisty when she wants to be.

After a couple minutes, Powder grabs her things and walks over to your desk, Vi a few steps behind her. She lets you know what she worked on today and you smile, telling her you’ll look it over and give her your notes tomorrow. Telling you goodbye as she walks out, Vi follows, giving you a once over but not saying anything.

A few minutes later, you’ve written down your notations for the project, sliding them into your desk. Letting out a sigh, you gather your belongings, shoving your laptop inside, deciding you’re also done for the day. You’re ready to go home, eat your leftovers, and numb your brain with as much reality television as it will let you.

That week, you and Powder get into the swing of things with no problem, back to how they were before break. The only thing that was missing was Sevika’s homemade cooking waiting for you when she picked Powder up, and you missed it more than you realized.

On the bright side, you and Sevika were back to talking on a regular basis, which you were ecstatic about, even if it was only about Powder’s schoolwork. Two weeks of no contact didn’t sound like much, but you had grown accustomed to hearing from her daily and you missed your conversations more than anything. It was hard to find real connections as an adult, and if friendship was all that was in the cards, then that was good enough for you.

The comment from your roommate about showing Sevika the texts replays in your head the next few days, and you decide to go along with her idea. More than once, you almost had a chance to bring it up to Sevika, but something always interrupted the moment. A couple times, it was a work call she had to take, but most of it was by way of Vi hanging in the background, always watching you.

She had decided to start accompanying Sevika to pick Powder up after school, surprising all of you. You learn that she doesn’t have to be back at school for another month, and with nothing else to busy herself with, she decides to become Sevika’s personal chaperone. Knowing the reason why, you can’t blame her but you still wished she’d leave the two of you alone long enough to let you rectify the situation.

Another week passes, and your frustration starts to build. Sevika is still keeping your discussions very surface level, and you feel less and less confident about explaining your side. Even Powder has started to notice that something is wrong. She’s a very perceptive kid and sees the way that your shoulders have slumped, interactions with Sevika more reserved from your side.

As she works on her project, you sit at your desk, pretending to look over some papers so you can watch the door. Today, your eyes are glued to the clock, the seconds ticking by like hours.

As if you summoned her, a familiar figure steps into the room. Sevika, dressed in her work coveralls, glances over at Powder before her eyes catch yours. Giving you a small nod, she smiles faintly but her eyes still hold that weary look you’ve grown used to.

As usual, Vi is right on her heels, walking over to lean against one of the desks, propping her hands on top and crossing one leg over the other. They both watch Powder start to pack up her things, the three of you waiting for her to finish.

“How’s she doing?”

Sevika glances over at you, expectant.

“Really good. We’ve tweaked a couple things so she’s in the process of testing the new model but I have high hopes.”

You smile softly at the woman, sincerity laced in your voice. She grins back and her gap makes an appearance, causing you to look down at her lips. Luckily, Powder starts walking over that very moment and grabs everyone’s attention, causing Sevika to speak up.

“Ready, kid?”

“Almost. There was something I wanted to show Vi in the gym.”

The teenager in question looks up from where she was texting on her phone with a puzzled look.

“What?”

Sevika’s gaze flicks between Powder and Vi, looking as if she’s about to protest. Her hand even reaches out, just a fraction, but Vi is already putting her phone away and standing up as she groans.

“Fine, make it quick though, I got things to do.”

“What, like your girlfriend?”

Powder whispers that part, but in the quiet room, it reaches everyone’s ears. Seeing the angry look on Vi’s face, she sprints out of the room and down the hallway, her sister following close behind. Sevika can only sigh, closing her eyes as she rubs her forehead.

“Those girls are going to be the death of me, I swear.”

You stifle a snicker, taking the opportunity to fully stare at Sevika. Her uniform is old, covered in stains and the occasional frayed tear. It’s slightly unbuttoned at the top, leaving her throat and the middle of her collarbones exposed. The hand on her face is smeared with oil, and you think this might be your new favorite look of hers.

She shifts to stand up, and you realize the two of you are alone for the first time in weeks. A weight settles in your chest as you register that this is the chance you’ve been waiting for.

“Hey, can we talk?”

taglist: @daughterofthemoons-stuff @vii-v @runawaybaby3 @ferxanda @sevikas-whore @vikashoneybee @sleepingwasp @savedforlaterr @lia-winther

#would you believe me if I said the restaurant scene wasn’t planned and I made it up as I went 🫣 cause that’s literally what happened LMFAO #anyways! hope everyone loves cliffhangers 🤭#next chapter will be coming next week either thursday or friday 😁#thank you for reading! mwah mwah mwah #sevika x reader #sevika x you #sevika angst #sevika fluff #arcane x reader #arcane x you #arcane angst #arcane fluff #sela writes

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azzishands · 1 month ago

Text

Fan of a fan - Chapter four

Paige x Azzi

A/N: This is kind of a short chapter, so I'm def gonna try and update the next one this week as well. Hope you like it!

Masterlist

---

Azzi wakes up from hearing her phone vibrate. She opens her eyes and tries to move her arm to make the noise stop, but for some reason, her arm seems unable to move. Fully opening her eyes she sees Paige lying on her right shoulder, fast asleep, snuggled up to her side.

The actress’ stomach flips at the sight. Her right arm is trapped under the blonde’s head, so she carefully tries to reach her phone with her left one.

The screen lights up with the name “Zendaya” on it. Not wanting to wake the other girl up, she declines the call and texts her friend instead.

Azzi Fudd: Can’t talk right now

Zendaya: Where are you? We’re supposed to shoot in an hour

Shit, Azzi thinks as she looks at the time.

Azzi Fudd: I’ll be right there

Azzi slowly and carefully frees herself from the singer, staring at her during every movement to make sure she doesn’t wake up. She looks around the room and sees their clothes spread out everywhere. She simply gathers them and puts them on, smiling a little to herself as the night before flashes in her mind as she collects each piece.

Fully dressed, she walks over to the bed quietly, just to look at Paige one last time. Her heart melts at seeing the blonde woman sleeping so peacefully. It reminds her of a cute little puppy, like a sleeping golden retriever or something. Azzi can’t help herself but to lean forward and gently stroke the blonde hair away from Paige’s face, planting a small kiss on her forehead.

And with that, she leaves the hotel suite.

Azzi hails a cab outside the hotel, riding to the location of the photoshoot she’s supposed to be at already.

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” she says as she enters the photo studio with quick breaths, clearly having rushed there.

“It’s alright,” the creative director says. “We’re behind schedule a little bit so it’s all cool. But you gotta sit down for your makeup and hair right away.”

The actress nods and goes straight to the makeup chair, greeting the makeup and hair artists with a “sorry I’m late” and “nice to meet you’s”. She takes out her phone while the artists are doing their things, and sends a text to Paige, explaining why she had left.

“Well look who’s in the same clothes as yesterday,” Zendaya comes in with a full on smirk.

“I forgot to set an alarm,” Azzi just states. “Thank you for calling me.”

“And why did you forget in the first place?” Zendaya continues to tease.

“You know why,” Azzi just mumbles.

“Yes but I would love to hear all about it,” the co-star raises her eyebrows.

Azzi, feeling a bit conscious about the fact that the makeup and hair artists were still very much there, in her face, didn’t really know what to say.

“We can talk about that later,” she dismisses a bit embarrassed. “Let’s just focus on the shoot now.”

The two actresses are put into different outfits, shooting for a magazine for their upcoming movie. The shoot isn’t done until around lunch, and Azzi hasn’t looked at her phone once, partly because she wants to focus on the shoot but also because she’s feeling a bit nervous just thinking about if there would be a notification from a special someone or not.

“So tell me now, how was your night?” Zendaya asks as they’re walking together from the photoshoot to find someplace to eat lunch after having finished the work of the day.

“It was… great. She’s great, I really enjoy being with her,” Azzi confesses.

“Bro, tell me the juicy details, don’t be so vague,” Zendaya scoffs. “Did you do it or not?”

Azzi rolls her eyes with a big grin. “Yeah, we did.”

“OH MY GOD,” Zendaya jumps up and down, slapping Azzi’s shoulder.

“Calm down,” the younger one blushes.

“No, tell me EVERYTHING.”

“I am not gonna tell you everything.”

“Okay but tell me something,” Zendaya keeps on pushing.

“Well, she’s actually way cuter than you’d think, and really down to earth,” Azzi smiles. “And very observant. It was everything I imagined. And so, so hot. Obviously.”

“Obviously,” Zendaya replies. “You gonna see her again soon?”

“I don’t know, we fell asleep after, you know, and then I left her this morning when she was still asleep. But I left her a text, telling her to text me when she wakes up.”

“And has she?”

“I haven’t checked.”

The two actresses enter a sushi restaurant and order their food and proceed to take their seats in the corner of the restaurant.

“Check your phone now,” Zendaya urges.

“Fine,” Azzi says and takes up her phone.

No notifications from the blonde one. But one from Ice Brady.

Ice Brady: Someone had a good night? *Photo attached*

“Oh. My. God.” Azzi says with her mouth wide open.

“What?”

“Ice sent me a screenshot from The Hollywood Reporter, there’s pictures of me and Paige leaving the club yesterday,” Azzi sighs. “Fuck, they’re fast.”

“Let me see,” her friend says and grabs the phone. “”’Is Azzi Fudd the new groupie of The Huskies’ Paige Bueckers?’ What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Cute pic tho, I like how she’s holding onto your wrist as if her life’s depending on it.”

“Yeah, the picture in itself isn’t the problem,” Azzi makes a face. “It’s more about the story they’re gonna invent from it.”

“You know this will blow over in a few days,” Zendaya comforts her friend. “After all, it’s just a photo of you guys escaping the paparazzi. It would have been another thing if they caught you kissing or something.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Azzi nods. “As long as they don’t have any photo evidence, it’s just empty claims.”

—

The scent of Azzi Fudd overwhelms Paige the second she wakes up. She can’t help but inhale deeply, smiling at her senses. Until she stretches out her arms and slowly realizes that she’s alone in bed.

“Azzi?” she mumbles confused as she opens her eyes and looks around. But there was no sight of the actress anywhere.

A pang of sadness hits Paige. Did she leave? And when did she leave? What if she left the second Paige fell asleep last night?

Paige puts on her sweats and walks to check the bathroom. No one there. She goes to the hall and sees that Azzi’s shoes are gone.

But before the sadness fully takes over, Paige grabs her phone and sees the notification from the woman.

Azzi Fudd: Good morning! I had a photoshoot this morning, that’s why I had to leave so early. I hope I didn’t wake you up. I had a great time with you, text me when you’re awake:)

Paige checks the time. It is 1 pm right now, and Azzi sent that around 8 am. It warms Paige’s heart that she had texted her.

But before Paige can even respond, Aubrey calls her.

“Wassup,” she answers the phone.

“Bro, good morning to you. Is Azzi there?” Aubrey asks.

“No, no she’s not,” Paige replies confused. “Why?”

“Have you been on your phone yet?”

“No, I just woke up. What’s going on?”

“The paparazzi pictures of you and Azzi are going viral, and the headlines are that Azzi is your new groupie.”

Paige shakes her head in surprise. Well not surprise, she’s well aware and experienced how the media paints things awfully. But she never gets used to the audacity of the media.

“Shit, I gotta call Azzi,” Paige just says.

“Before you do, how was your night?” Aubrey asks.

“Ugh, it was amazing. Azzi Fudd is unreal,” Paige smiles. “I guess dreams do come true.”

“Aw, you’re adorable. Can I be your bridesmaid at your wedding?”

“Shut up,” Paige says, annoyed and slightly amused. “I’m hanging up now.”

Paige goes on social media to check what’s going on, and indeed what Aubrey had told her was true. ‘Azzi Fudd joins the obsession every teenage girl seems to have with The Huskies singer’, ‘Paige Bueckers newest conquest is none other than the Golden Globe winner Azzi Fudd’, and so on. Every headline wanted to paint Paige as a notorious fuckboy, and Azzi as the slutty victim, and it made Paige’s blood boil.

The singer calls the actress.

“Hey you,” Azzi answers the phone. “Awake now?”

Paige calms down immediately at the sound of the actress.

“Hey, yeah. You know, you were allowed to wake me up and say bye,” Paige says with a smile.

“Yeah, I’m really sorry for leaving like that,” the actress says.

“Nah it’s cool, I just mean that you don’t have to be afraid to wake me up, like at all. Even if you just wanted to tell me that you’re going to the bathroom, it would be okay, you know?” Paige quickly says, not wanting to make Azzi feel guilty about leaving like that.

“Is this for future reference, you mean?” the actress smiles.

“Exactly,” Paige says, her heart beating faster, knowing that they both somehow had just confirmed that there might be another night like the last one.

“Gotcha. How did you sleep?”

“So good,” Paige answers. “But you must've gotten only like five hours tops, judging by the time you sent the text.”

“Yeah I’m a little tired today, not gonna lie. I forgot to set an alarm, so I woke up by Zendaya calling me, asking me where I was,” Azzi tells her.

“Damn, how did I not wake up by that,” Paige says.

“You were pretty much knocked out,” Azzi chuckles.

“I wonder why,” Paige smirks.

“Hmm, I have some ideas,” Azzi playfully says.

Paige hesitates for a second before she decides that it’s best to not play around it.

“Have you been on social media yet?” Paige asks.

“Yeah. You?”

“Yeah.”

“So you’ve seen them?” Azzi states more than asks.

“Yeah. How are you feeling about it?”

“It’s fine. I mean it’s nothing new. If it’s not this then it’s something else. What can you do? As Zendaya said, this will blow over in a few days. Some influencer might cheat on someone tomorrow, who knows.”

Hearing those words was extremely comforting to Paige, and she finally understands why celebrities often date other celebrities. She felt instant gratitude for Azzi’s calm and mature approach to it all. Someone who’s not in the public eye would probably freak out by now.

“God, it felt good to hear you say that,” Paige confesses. “I didn’t like the way they painted you out to be just another girl for me. I mean-”

Paige panics a little bit, not having realized fully what she had said and how it can be interpreted. Even though Azzi Fudd obviously isn’t just another girl for her, it felt weird to acknowledge that this early on.

“Don’t worry,” Azzi cuts her off. “It’s fine.”

The singer hears Azzi’s words, but it still doesn’t make her less upset about those headlines.

“Just… Promise me you’ll tell me if it ever gets to you?” Paige says softly, and Azzi’s heart skips a beat. “I don’t want to tarnish your image.”

“Paige…” Azzi says with a sad smile, just as softly. “It’s not your fault.”

The way she said it, with that soft voice, with a tone that makes you feel so seen and so cared about, it moved Paige.

“Still,” she whispers.

“I promise,” Azzi says firmly. “If you promise to let me know if it ever bothers you too.”

“Deal,” Paige says.

“So, how long are you gonna stay here in LA?”

“Why, you tryna see me again?” Paige teases.

“Nah,” Azzi deadpans.

“I’m actually leaving tonight.”

“For real?”

“Yeah,” Paige sighs.

“Well shit,” Azzi says. “Where are you going?”

“Portland. We’re playing about eight more shows on this North America tour, which is about two weeks. Then we have a little break until the Europe tour.”

“Busy girl,” the actress just states.

“You’re the one to talk, miss working-early-on-a-saturday-morning,” Paige chuckles.

“I guess we’re both busy women,” Azzi says, wondering reluctantly to herself if their schedules will be an issue for their newfound friendship.

“But you should come see me in Minnesota before we go to Europe,” Paige says, so casually.

Azzi lets out a breath of amusement. This girl really makes everything so easy.

“I mean, if you can and want to,” the singer adds.

“I’ll make sure my schedule is free for that,” Azzi smiles from ear to ear. “Wouldn’t want to miss Minnesota when Paige Bueckers is there to be my guide, would I?”

“It’s a once in a lifetime experience, what can I say?” Paige chuckles. “So, I guess I’ll see you in two weeks?”

“I guess so,” Azzi replies. “Oh and Paige?”

“Yeah?”

“Just know that you’re not what the tabloids make you out to be,” the actress says softly. “Like, at all. They don’t know you.”

Paige swallows hard and takes a deep breath. Azzi had struck a nerve with that comment, probably not realizing how much Paige struggles with what the tabloids say about her. What anyone says about her, really. It had mostly been okay, but from time to time they would tear her down, make her out to be something she’s not, and it always made Paige feel so small and tenuous. How sheer hatred could get in her head on a random night, just reading her own comment sections. She should be better at handling it by now, and she has become better, but not anywhere near how she wants to be. It might be hard to imagine, how the confident lead singer in a famous band, who never seems to be fazed by anything, actually really gets affected by false narratives about her.

That’s why it meant a lot to her to hear Azzi say that. A lot more than Azzi probably understands.

Paige croaks out a weak “I appreciate that”.

“I’ll see you in two weeks then, blondie,” Azzi says, wrapping up their phone call.

“Can’t wait.”

They say their goodbyes, and hang up the phone. Paige just sits on her bed, replaying every single word said between them just now. Azzi sure knows how to calm her down without even trying.

Six hours later, and the band is on their way to Portland in their tour bus. It’s a spacious one with bunk beds and even a couch and a TV in the back, where they’re currently sitting, trying to do some songwriting while on the road.

Paige is sitting comfortably on the couch with an unplugged electric guitar in her hands, playing some chords, trying to come up with some melodies.

“Mhm, how do you know everything I haven’t told you yet,” the singer hums. “How are you able to meet me in the middle when I’m all the way over here?”

“I like that,” Sarah nods along. “Do it again,” she says and records it on voice memos on her phone. Paige sings it again.

“I’ll name the recording ‘Azzi Fudd’,” Sarah says with a huge grin on her face, and KK and Aubrey burst out laughing.

Paige’s eyes widen. The audacity of the bass player. “Sarah!” she exclaims.

“What, is it not about her? Do you have anyone else in mind?” Sarah innocently asks.

“I don’t- I mean I-” Paige stammers. “Fuck y’all. I’m not writing any more.”

“No come on, we’re just messing with ya,” KK says, walking over to the singer and gives her a hug. “We’re just not used to hearing you write happy lyrics, that’s all. But we love to hear it.”

“What do you mean, I’ve written lots of happy lyrics,” Paige mutters, feeling more embarrassed than mad.

“Okay girly pops,” KK says sarcastically.

“What did you guys do after we left the club last night, by the way?” Paige asks to change the subject.

“We just hung out with Zendaya,” Aubrey answers. “She’s cool.”

“Yeah, she’s like our friend now,” Sarah chimes in.

“Aww, did you guys make a friend, I’m so proud of you” Paige coos like a proud parent and pinches Sarah’s cheeks.

“Stop,” Sarah moves away from the blonde.

“She told us all about how it was to film Dune and Challengers, it was really cool to hear, and now I kinda want to watch them all again,” KK says.

“Yeah, let’s have a movie night!” Aubrey agrees. “With lots of snacks.”

“But I wanna watch a Azzi Fudd movie,” Sarah says. “I don’t think I’ve ever watched one.”

“Bruh, what? How can you not have seen any of her movies? You live under a rock?” Paige frowns.

“I’m not really into those types of movies,” the bass player shrugs. “I just watch horror and comedy.”

“You mean you only watch unserious movies,” the singer deadpans.

“If Azzi Fudd would’ve done a horror movie, you would’ve loved it,” Sarah argues.

“Maybe… But that would probably be a Jordan Peele type of horror movie then, not those horrible indie horror movies you watch,” Paige says.

“Don’t-”

“OKAY, whatever, y’all can fight about Azzi Fudd’s movies another time, I wanna watch Dune!” KK interrupts.

“Nah, Sarah has to watch Ricochet now,” Paige protests. “You gotta see Azzi in it, she’s incredible.”

“You can’t go a day without seeing your girl?” KK crosses her arms, really wanting to watch Dune.

“Bro, I’m not gonna be able to see her in two weeks, don’t even start,” the singer responds.

“Two weeks? You’re not gonna go home to see your family during break?” Aubrey asks.

“No I am… She’s gonna come to Minnesota.”

“Oh.”

“Girl, you’re down bad,” KK just says. “But we’re gonna watch Dune anyway.”

Paige just shakes her head, letting KK have it this time.

After all, she’s gonna see the actress in person soon again.

Two more weeks.

—

#azzi fudd #paige bueckers #pazzi #pazzi fics

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bookskeepers · 5 months ago

Text

third time's the charm ♡ chapter seven

content warnings: MDNI, bad jokes, reader rambles about neuroscience, sexism mentioned, dirty talk af, reader tries to hold a conversation during sex tho, oral (male receiving), fingering, peepee in veevee, protected, nipple play (m + f receiving), overstimulation, TICKLISH COOTER, i probably use every possible word for 'penis', not proofread

word count: can't measure on mobile so... ~3.2k? idk tbh

a/n: note to self: never write on mobile again. wtf. also the 'ticklish down there' is a self story bc when my ob gyn disinfected my hoo ha for iud insertion i told her it tickled (bc i was giggling) and she said I'm her first ticklish patient (and yes, i have also gotten ticklish during receiving oral </3)

taglist: @wakashudou @maddyb-rapps

previous ♡ masterlist ♡ next

"Guess we're starting off with a bang, huh?"

The line catches you off-guard. After all, it's not actually related to the activities you two will be partaking in; your door did slam into the wall with how much force you used to fling it open.

After taking way too much time to process what he said, you finally break out into a fit of giggles. "Because," you begin, "we're going to have sex, but the door also whammed into the wall..."

There's a look of amusement in Tsukishima Kei's honey brown eyes as he takes a step into your dorm, closer to you. "Sure. We can say it was intentional."

You take a step back unconsciously, making room for him to pass by you into your room. Unlike last time, you forgot to clean up -- there are clothes scattered on the bed and three different textbooks opened haphazardly on the floor. Your rug is crumpled up in the corner of the room, a victim of an outrage earlier in the week at getting an annoying text from a groupmate about a project.

The minimal mess doesn't seem to bother him, though. You watch as he sets his own bag on the ground, noting to yourself that he actually brought a bag with him this time. He steps over the opened textbooks, taking care not to accidentally damage them, before he arrives at your bed. He's facing away from you, so you can't see his face, but you can hear the smirk in his voice as he picks up a particularly lacy bra that would leave nothing to the imagination if someone saw you wearing it. "Weren't gonna wear this one for tonight, huh?"

Your face begins to heat up as you rush over to his side, snatching the garment out of his hands and kicking it under the bed. "Uh, don't worry about that." Mai had decided it'd be funny to gift you the world's most revealing lingerie set (which was impressive, given the nature of lingerie) yesterday as a 'congratulations for hooking up with the same person twice' gift. You had opened the box and thrown it at her in shock. She had thrown it back, and it stayed on your bed where Tsukishima found it.

He watches you with a bemused expression before leaning back on your bed as if this were his dorm room, not yours. "So... what can you teach me about sex, from a neuroscience standpoint?" he asks, reaching one hand out to take your arm and pull you closer.

You stumble in the process, finding yourself flat against him with both your palms pressed firmly on his chest. "Oh!" you exclaim, face turning even redder. "Well, actually, all I really know is that women produce oxytocin when they... y'know, release, and men release dopamine, I think?" You begin to ramble, talking about the effects of these two hormones on the brain while Tsukishima watches, clearly listening to your every word.

As what was supposed to be a hook-up starts nearing closer and closer to a lecture, the blonde male holds your wrist up to his mouth, planting soft kisses on it as you continue to talk. "...so some really sexist people think that, because women release oxytocin when they orgasm and oxytocin is linked to pairbonding, promiscuous women are incapable of forming lasting relatio-- what are you doing?"

His tactic of slowly and gently placing kisses up your arm to distract you worked, as now your focus is solely on him instead of whatever neuroscience-related lectures were replaying in your head.

"Performing an experiment," he says between pecks, his voice low and sultry.

You raise a brow at him, biting the edge of your bottom lip. "Oh? And what experiment might that be?"

His other hand, the one not holding your wrist up, trails up your spine, applying a gentle pressure to get you to lean in. "Something, something, oxytocin. Can I kiss you? For experimental purposes, of course."

You close the gap between the two of you in response, contentment flooding your nervous system as your lips move against his. They're softer than you remember, smooth with the addition of chapstick. When you part for air, you feel the faint taste of vanilla.

"Sweet," you remark before he can go in for another kiss.

He pauses halfway, leaving the barest of space between you two, a slight smile on his features. Fishing through a pocket with one hand, he procures a tube of balm after a few seconds. "You like the vanilla flavor?"

You put on an expression of deep thought before shrugging. "I'm going to need a few more taste tests before I'm sure," you state, pulling him in for another kiss.

It doesn't take long for you to melt into him once more, that awkward tension usually involved with kissing a stranger long gone, since you've already, y'know, had sex with him.

Gone is the shaky, hesitant individual from last time. You're more confident in your movements with him, wasting no time in running your hands under the edge of his tee, the hem riding up as your hands go higher and higher. As your fingertips reach his pecs, you take a second to pinch and squeeze lightly at his nipples and you relish the groan he releases into your mouth as a result.

"God, I forgot how good that feels," he whispers, acting as if it hadn't been more than a week since the original hookup. "Do it again," he says as he lifts you up and places you on the bed before taking his shirt off, exposing his nipples to the cold air.

You don't respond verbally, instead opting to take one of the peaks into your mouth. You give it a good suck before gently nipping at it, causing Tsukishima to entangle his fingers in your hair and let out a small noise. Heat begins pooling between your legs in earnest as you continue to lavish his chest with attention, eventually switching from one nip to the other, one of your hands pulling and tweaking at the one that isn't in your mouth.

After a few more moments of this, he places his arms on your shoulders and you stop. His face is bright red and he's panting, covered in a thin sheen of sweat. "Is that what it feels like when I do the same to you?" he asks in a husky tone, moving his hands from your shoulders to the hem of your shirt. "Because I'm about to do that to you. I missed them."

There's an edge of playfulness in his voice hiding the twinge of sincerity as he pulls your shirt over your head, once again taking the time to visually appreciate the way your chest looks in your bra. "I like this color on you," he says before he pushes you back rather harshly.

You lay flat on the mattress with a squeak as he hovers above you, one knee on the bed and the other leg straight. "Like this sight, too," he adds as he lowers his head to your chest, his tongue flicking over a clothed nipple. The wet feeling combined with the friction of the bra material against your sensitive flesh makes your back arch ever so slightly into him, and you can feel his grin against your skin. Tingles of electricity bloom around where his mouth and hands meet your breasts, and tiny gasps and pants leave your own mouth as he continues sucking and nipping at the flesh.

He pauses briefly. "Feeling that oxytocin rush yet, baby?"

"Definitely," you breathe out as your back arches up against him when his fingers press against your clothed core. "You could probably make it really rush, if you tried hard enough."

"Don't worry." He sits up, hands leaving your chest to start working on your bottoms. "I fully intend to."

You lift your hips into the air to help in his quest, watching the lust practically cloud his gaze when he succeeds in removing both your pants and undies in one fell swoop. "Shit," he murmurs, running his thumb through your folds. You shiver at the contact. "Good thing I didn't get a chance to eat dinner."

You lift your head off the mattress to stare him down, a look of shock on your face. "What?"

He laughs, now using his middle and ring finger to slide up and down between your southern lips. "Now I get to fully enjoy this feast."

Without giving you time to retort, he prods his fingers at your entrance and presses his tongue flat against your clit, causing you to cry out and arch your back. He wastes no time in attaching his lips to the sensitive bud as his fingers begin pistoning in and out of you at a relentless pace. He's far more ruthless this time, seeming to have figured out what you like from the previous hookup alone.

The sounds of your moans and his slurps fill the air, until he abruptly pulls away from your vag. "No conversation this time?" he asks, his tone almost pouty.

"Oh, I can talk if you want," you offer. He nods before delving back in, and your body shudders at the contact. "So... did you... you know that the clitoris is -- ohmygod, right there, pleasepleaseplease -- a bundle of really sensitive ner-- haaa -- nerves? And when you s-- just like that, you're doing it so good, don't stop -- when you suck on it, it feels fucking phenomenal?"

He hums against your cunt, sending vibrations straight to your brain. You continue to babble, occasionally interruptimg yourself to praise him. Your fingers find their way to his hair again, scritching at the scalp gently.

Unlike last time, where he managed to tear an orgasm out of you, you find the stimulation to start to be overwhelming. Your thighs are spasming and trying to clench shut around his head. A brief glance downwards reveals that one of his hands are unaccounted for, and suddenly you can hear the faint thwapthwapthwap of skin against skin underneath the cacophony of your moans -- is he jacking off?

Your body struggles against him and you find tears forming in your eyes from how the situation has suddenly become too much. He shifts his mouth against you and the pleasurable feeling vanishes; it's replaced by the sensation of being tickled. You push his head away, breaking out into giggles. "Stop, please stop," you manage to choke out.

And just like that, he stops. "Everything okay?" he asks, lifting his head from between your legs. His ears are red from where your thighs applied unnecessary pressure, and the lower half of his face is shiny with your fluids.

"Yeah, it was..." you start, chest heaving. "Just getting to be too much..." You sit up, scooting away from the edge and patting the bed next to you. "Besides, don't you think it's your turn to feel good?"

He raises an eyebrow at you before settling on the bed next to you. "Giving you attention is all I need to feel good," he murmurs, cupping your cheek with one hand and placing his thumb on your lower lip.

You press a soft kiss to the pad of his finger, before noticing that his pants are just gone. His cock rests against his lower stomach, the tip angrily red and leaking. "When did you take your pants off?"

"When I was eating you out," he responds in a matter-of-fact tone. "I'm pretty nifty with one hand."

You adjust your position so you're straddling Tsukishima, smiling devilihsly at him. "Oh, I've definitely been on the receiving end of nifty," you confirm.

"You sure you're good to continue?" he asks, concern evident in his tone. Both his hands come to rest on your waist. "I'm okay with stopping, you know. Don't push yourself if you don't want to."

Those sparks that flew when you had kissed him a week ago are flying again and wreaking havoc in your stomach. The tender concern in his tone, despite the two of you barely knowing each other beyond the confines of your dorm, has you blushing bright pink. Oh God, is that what the bare minimum does to you now? "Yeah, I'm fine," you insist, leaning in closer. "I just get ticklish down there sometimes."

He's leaning in closer too, but he stops when you say that. "...Your cooch is ticklish?" he asks, flabbergasted.

"Uh, yeah? Sometimes?"

"That's a first, I think. That, and trying to hold a conversation while receiving oral."

"Hey, you told me to talk!"

"Guilty," he says, laughing before he finally closes the distance between you two. A soft sigh escapes your lips as you melt against him.

You don't get carried away, however, and before long you gently push him until his back is against the mattress and he has a look of curiosity in his eyes. You plant soft kisses trailing down his body, taking the time to nip at each of his nipples again, before you go past his navel, past his happy trail.

The curious look in his eyes is replaced with excitement as you place a soft kiss on the tip of his dick, licking your lips to remove the precum that had landed on them. It's salty and bitter, not that you expected otherwise.

"Normally I eat pineapple before a hookup," he states, "but you said you're allergic last time, so I didn't wanna risk it... in case... the pineapple got into my sperm, or something."

You gaze at him from beneath your lashes, ass in the air as you press your face to the base of his penis. "How considerate," you say right before licking a long stripe up.

His hips jerk upwards, throwing you temporarily off balance before you fix your stance. You take the mushroom-esque head in your mouth, swirling your tongue around it and revelling in his quiet gasps as you take more of him in your mouth.

His hands find your hair, entangling themselves in your locks, but he doesn't push down. Once again, you are blown away by Tsukishima Kei doing the bare minimum (not forcing you to deepthroat his dong). You can feel the appendage hardening even more in your mouth as you bob up and down, and opening your eyes reveals Tsukishima's thighs shaking with constraint -- perhaps restraining himself from thrusting. His head is thrown back against the pillows, and the quiet noises emanating from him are almost drowned out by the wet noises from your throat. You hope your brain is recording those noises of his, because they are divine.

You gag as you accidentally take too much of him at once, and he instantly lifts your head off his penis. "Don't choke, baby," he says in a mock-scolding tone.

"I'm fine, I can keep going," you retort, removing his hands from your hair with your own and beginning to reassume your position.

He shifts so he's sitting on his knees, pulling his lower half away from you. "As much as I loved you giving me head, that's not what I meant when I say 'I wanna be inside you.'"

"When did you say--" you begin, but he cuts you off by manhandling your position until you're laying on your back, legs spread, with him between them.

"Just now, I think," he says as he leans over the edge of the bed, gripping one of your thighs for support as he rustles through something on the floor. Within a few seconds, he straightens up and reveals the purplish-black packaging of a condom. He tears it with ease and slides it onto his leaking shaft.

"You're a Skyn guy?" you ask as he lines his dick up with your entrance.

He makes eye contact with you, a question in his gaze. You nod and gasp as he begins to push in. "Skyn's great. I feel everything."

"R-really?" you manage, "I feel like everyone prefers... prefers... Durex?"

"Nah, they haven't tried Skyn then." He, yet again, doesn't give you a chance to respond before pushing the rest of himself in. "God, I forgot how fucking tight you are."

You can't bring yourself to babble anything out, too lost in the delicious stretch and pleasure he's dragging in and out of your walls. His pace is fast, but not ruthless -- his tip kisses your cervix each time, but doesn't smash into it. He leans over you as he thrusts, lifting one of your legs over his shoulder so he can get in deeper. You raise your head so your lips can meet.

The kiss is fiery and full of passion and groans as he speeds up his pace, his hips snapping against yours. "Fuck," he moans into your mouth, breaking the contact to rest his forehead against yours.

"You must... be in peak physical condition," you manage to say between gasps.

"I play volleyball," he responds as he wastes no time in flipping you over so he's railing into you from behind.

"Y-you do!?" you exclaim.

He lets out a breathy laugh. "Baby, I'm on the Sendai Frogs."

"What's that?"

His next thrust is a little harsher than before, ripping a moan from your throat and causing your head to fall into the pillows. "Shit, sorry." He places a hand on your back and draws soothing circles with his fingertips, a complete opposite to the fucking he's giving you. "It's a volleyball team."

"I got that, but... Oh my fucking God, Tsukishima," you pant out. "I can't... can't fucking talk when you're railing me so good."

Your words of praise seem to spur him on because the soothing circles stop, instead replaced by the feeling of his chest pressing to your back. "Yeah? I'm fucking you good?" he asks in a low, sultry tone.

"So... so good, please don't stop."

He keeps his pace up until it begins to grow jerky and erratic. "Shit, I'm gonna cum," he whispers against the back of your neck.

"For me? Cum for me?" you ask in an innocent tone, despite the act you're engaging in.

He groans against your skin, and you feel his fingers dig into the soft skin just above your hips. "Fuck, yeah, baby, I'll cum for you."

His pace slows as he spills into the condom, and you wonder if he thanks whoever invented contraceptives whenever he finishes inside. Soon, it stops completely and he flops onto you, flattening you against the bed. "That was phenomenal."

You squeak from beneath him, his weight simultaneously comforting and a little bit suffocating. "Tsukishima... can't move!"

He laughs and gets off you, once again sorting through your stuff to find proper aftercare tools. "Sorry."

You feel the soft towel against your inner thighs as he cleans you up, before the material of your underwear slides up your legs. "I don't think I'll be able to walk tomorrow," you groan, feeling that familiar soreness begin to sprout between your legs.

"My fault," he replies drily. You watch as he procures fresh underwear from his backpack -- an overnight bag? -- and puts it on. He walks over to the bed after doing so. "Scoot."

"Telling me to scoot in my own room should be criminal," you grumble before scooting over. He gets in the bed beside you, laying on his back. It doesn't take him much effort to move you around so your head is on his chest and your body is draped over his. He traces shapes on your skin again, and you listen to his heartbeat. "Wanna stay the night?" you offer after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

"That'd be awesome," is what you hear as your eyes begin to flutter shut, despite the lamp next to your bed still being on. The room plunges into darkness as Tsukishima turns it off, however, and the last thing you note is him saying, "Goodnight princess."

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goonforgeto · 25 days ago

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・☄︎ CRUSH

chapter 04

SYNOPSIS — The last thing ten-year-old you ever imagined was falling in love at fourteen, getting your heart broken at seventeen, and spending your early twenties hunting down Jujutsu Society’s most wanted — your (ex?) boyfriend. But the last thing your twenty-something-year-old self expected? Falling for his best friend... just before your ex comes crashing back into your life after over a decade of silence.

WC — (2.7k) not proofread

CONTENT — fluff, mentions of vomit once, time jump

a/n: i actually got really upset writing this chapter heh. next chapter is rly long and what happens during christmas, also we get so see some more of satoru's friendship w reader and suguru so get ready!

series m. list | m.list

December, 2005

It was one of those rare days where your mission and Suguru’s wrapped up at the exact same time — a little stroke of luck that meant your schedules actually lined up for once. Even better, Satoru and Shoko were both busy.

Sure, you usually found ways to sneak in time together — late-night walks, stolen moments between training — but most of it involved tiptoeing around curfews, since neither of them knew about you and Suguru. Yet.

Not that it was anything serious or dramatic, you just liked having something that was yours. Something that didn’t come with teasing or smirks or endless questions.

And today — with the afternoon wide open, the air crisp and cool — it felt nice to think you had time.

The both of you had returned to campus around the same time, tired but relieved, and quickly agreed: freshen up first, meet outside in half an hour.

And right on time, when you step out onto the path behind the dorms — coat buttoned, scarf a little crooked — you spot him leaning casually against one of the old stone railings.

Suguru’s hair is still damp from the shower, tucked loosely behind his ears. He’s in a dark sweater and coat, hands in his pockets, looking up at the overcast sky like he’s thinking about something far away.

When he hears your steps, his gaze flicks down and softens the moment he sees you.

“You look warm,” he says, a small smile tugging at his mouth.

You grin. “And you look like you forgot your gloves again.”

He shrugs, pushing off the railing. “You’ll keep me warm.”

You roll your eyes, but your heart’s already doing that quiet little skip it always does when it’s just the two of you.

You come to a stop in front of him. He watches you for a beat longer, then dips his head and presses a soft kiss to your mouth.

But the second it hits, you stiffen — the taste of something pungent, bitter, metallic underneath the softness of his lips — the lingering residue of the curse he’d exorcised earlier.

Without thinking, you pull back. “Ugh—”

Suguru’s eyes widen slightly. “Shit — sorry,” he says quickly, already fishing in his pocket. He pops a stick of gum in his mouth, chewing fast. “Didn’t even think.”

You’re still catching your breath, rubbing at the back of your hand. “It’s fine— it’s just— gods, what was that?”

He grimaces a little, leaning closer. “Dunno. What’s it taste like to you?”

You blink. “Like… burnt, wet hair. And something metallic."

He makes a face. “Yeah, thought so. Usually tastes like a vomit rag to me.”

You can’t help the small laugh that escapes. “You’re disgusting.”

“Hey, you kissed me back,” he says, teasing, a faint blush creeping up his neck.

You shake your head, the taste fading.

“Ready?” you ask.

“Always,” he says, falling into step beside you.

His hand finds your gloved one as you walk, fingers threading easily through yours like it’s the most natural thing in the world.

“So,” you say, glancing up at him, “where are you taking me?”

He gives you a small, knowing smile. “To buy you dango.”

You blink. “Seriously?”

“Mm.” He squeezes your hand gently. “Since someone—” he tilts his head, a clear jab at Satoru, “ate your share last week.”

You groan. “I told him not to touch mine.”

“He never listens,” Suguru says with a faint laugh. “So. I figured you deserve a replacement.”

Your heart warms, simple and soft. “You’re the best.”

“I know,” he says, eyes flickering sideways at you. “But you can tell me again once you’ve got your dango.”

You tug your glove off with your teeth, pulling it free so you can reach up — fingers lightly toying with the ends of his hair. It’s a bit longer now than it was in the summer, the strands soft between your fingers. He’s taller too — an inch or two since the last time you really noticed.

“Sugu,” you say softly, brushing a damp strand behind his ear, “your hair’s wet. You’re going to get sick.”

He leans in slightly.

“I’ll be fine,” he murmurs, voice low. “You worry too much.”

You let your fingers slip away, brushing down the side of his neck. “And you don’t worry enough.”

His smile widens just a little. “That’s why we work.”

The two of you made your way down to the station, hands still twined as you followed the quiet slope toward the subway entrance. The city above was crisp and cold, breath puffing faint clouds in the air — but down here, it was warm, the scent of metal and sweat hanging in the tunnels.

You slipped through the turnstiles side by side, Suguru thumbing your fare through before you could argue.

“It’s my treat,” he said simply, steering you toward the platform. “I’m taking you out, remember.”

The train rumbled in not long after — a soft clatter through the tunnel. You caught one of the middle cars, leaning together against the side rail as the car swayed into motion.

Outside the window, Tokyo blurred past in streaks of grey and light. The station names rolling by felt familiar.

“Where are we going again?” you asked, glancing up at him.

“That little shopping district you like,” Suguru said. “The one with the stalls and the food carts.”

You smiled, heart warming at how easily he remembered.

“It’s not that far,” he added, fingers brushing against yours again, casual, easy.

The train swayed gently as it sped through the tunnels, a low hum filling the car. You stood close to Suguru, shoulder brushing his arm, the warmth of him a welcome contrast to the cold air you’d left behind.

At one stop, the train jolted a little harder than usual, and you stumbled, hand catching his coat. He glanced down, amusement flickering in his eyes.

“You alright?” he asked, steadying you with an arm around your waist.

“Yeah,” you mumbled, cheeks a little warm. “Just clumsy.”

He huffed a soft laugh, not letting go. “It’s the train. Not you.”

You peeked up at him, still tucked close. “You’re just saying that because you like having an excuse to hold me.”

He leaned in, a small smile playing at his lips. “Maybe.”

You look away, face flushed, trying to calm your heart.

“So… are you going home for Christmas break?” you ask, trying for casual — though it comes out softer than you mean.

“Definitely,” he says, smiling. “I haven’t had my mom’s cooking in ages.”

“Jealous,” you admit. “I’ll probably be stuck here. My parents are out of the country again.”

Suguru hums, thoughtful. “Well… maybe I’ll bring you something.”

You glance up. “From your mom?”

He grins. “If you’re nice to me.”

You nudge him lightly with your elbow. “I’m always nice to you.”

“That’s debatable,” he teases, eyes bright, then adds, a little quieter, “Or… you could come with me.”

Your breath catches. “Really?”

He shrugs, smile turning softer. “I mean… Satoru’s coming too. But my mom’s been dying to meet you.”

The train slows as it nears your stop.

“You… never mentioned that before,” you say, voice quieter.

Suguru chuckles under his breath. “Guess I didn’t think you’d say yes.”

You glance at him, pulse skipping. “You didn’t even ask.”

His eyes flick toward you. “I’m asking now.”

Before you can answer, the train comes to a smooth stop, the chime for your station echoing through the car.

He tugs gently on your hand, fingers still twined through yours. “C’mon,” he says, soft. “We’ll talk about it after we’ve had you fed.”

The two of you step out of the station and into the heart of the shopping district — a narrow street lined with stalls and twinkling lights strung between the buildings, already glowing faintly in the late afternoon.

The air is cold, but not biting. It’s crisp enough to see your breath, the kind of chill that makes the steam from food carts rise in soft white clouds. The smells of grilled mochi, chestnuts, and sweet soy sauce drift through the crowd.

Suguru’s fingers slip back through yours as you walk, weaving easily through the bustling street. It’s busier than usual — families out shopping, students laughing over hot drinks, the hum of the city wrapping around you in a way that feels alive, familiar.

You glance up at him, warmth blooming in your chest.

“Lead the way,” you say softly.

He squeezes your hand, giving you that quiet smile of his. “You sure you trust me to pick the stall?”

“As long as it’s not the one Satoru always drags us to.”

He laughs — a soft, easy sound — and steers you down a smaller side street, where the line of dango carts stretches beneath colorful banners.

“There,” he says. “Your favorites.”

You walk up to the cart together — the familiar scent of toasted rice flour and sweet soy sauce filling the air. Suguru orders without asking, already knowing exactly which kind you like.

You smile as the vendor hands over the skewers, warm and fresh from the grill.

Suguru passes you one, keeping two for himself. “Fair, right?” he says, tilting his head innocently.

You eye him. “That depends. Are you planning to share?”

“Depends how nice you are to me.”

You huff a laugh, but as you take a bite, the smile pulls across your face before you can stop it.

He watches you, fond. “Good?”

“Mmh,” you hum, mouth full. “Worth the trip.”

He leans in a little, voice quieter now, eyes warm. “Told you.”

You reach over, and steal a bite from one of his skewers.

“Hey,” he laughs, mock scandalized.

“You said sharing depends on how nice I am,” you grin. “That was very nice.”

Suguru shakes his head, smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “You’re unbelievable.”

And before you can think twice, he dips his head, brushing a soft, quick kiss to the corner of your mouth.

Warm, simple. Enough to send your heart fluttering.

You blink, surprised — cheeks going pink — but he just grins wider, unbothered.

“Sticky,” he teases, thumb brushing lightly at the edge of your lip. “Messy eater.”

You look away, flushed, but you can’t stop smiling.

Suguru just watches you for a second, the faintest flicker of something warmer in his eyes.

You busy yourself with another bite of dango, hoping it’ll settle the way your heart’s racing.

Beside you, he shifts a little closer, shoulder brushing yours lightly as the crowd hums past.

For a while, you walk like that — side by side, quiet, comfortable — the soft winter light catching on the shop signs, the air thick with warmth and scent.

Suguru glances down at you again after a moment. “So…”

You look up. “Hm?”

“That question from earlier.” His voice stays easy, but there’s a hint of something softer beneath. “About Christmas.”

Your breath catches a little, but you cover it with a small smile. “You’re really serious about bringing me home?”

“Of course,” he says, like it’s obvious. “Mom keeps asking who this mystery girl is that’s got me sneaking out all the time.”

Your heart stumbles again — that quiet ache blooming warm in your chest.

You shake your head lightly, teasing. “Mystery girl, huh?”

He smiles — slower now, gaze steady. “Not much of a mystery to me.”

You shift on your feet, glancing down at the half-eaten skewer in your hand, and then back up at him.

“...Yeah,” you say softly. “I’d like that.”

“Good.” He nudges your shoulder lightly with his. “Guess I’ll tell Mom to set an extra place.”

You laugh, heart light now, the earlier nerves fading into something sweeter.

The two of you wander through the stalls after that — past rows of trinkets, candles, little charms and scarves. The air smells of cinnamon and roasted chestnuts, chatter rising from the crowd as the sun starts to dip lower.

You stop at one stall, all tiny hand-made charms and keychains lined up neatly on velvet cloth. Suguru’s already moved ahead a few steps, distracted by a stall selling old books, but something here catches your eye.

A pair of simple matching keychains — small wooden ones, carved with little protective sigils and tiny painted flowers. Subtle, but sweet.

Without overthinking it, you buy them — slipping the pair into your coat pocket.

When you catch up to him, you tug on his sleeve.

“What’s that?” he asks, amused, as you hold one out to him.

“For your bag,” you say simply, cheeks warming again. “So you can’t lose it.”

He watches you for a beat — then smiles, soft and bright. “You’re dangerous when you’re cute, you know that?”

You roll your eyes, but your heart flutters as he crouches slightly to let you clip the keychain onto the strap of his bag.

“Now you have to keep it on there,” you say, teasing, stepping back.

He straightens, giving the little charm a glance — then you. “I will.” His voice is soft, but certain. “I’ll keep it.”

You keep wandering a while longer, Suguru’s hand finding yours again as the crowd starts to thin with the setting sun. The lights strung across the street glow a little brighter now, soft against the early dusk.

You catch sight of a little photobooth tucked between two larger shops — a narrow thing with faded pink curtains and a bright sign above.

You tug on Suguru’s sleeve. “We should do that.”

He follows your gaze. “The booth?”

You grin. “Yeah. Come on — you owe me for letting you steal my dango.”

He laughs, shaking his head. “You stole mine, remember?”

“Details,” you say, already pulling him toward it.

He doesn’t resist — just lets you lead him inside, the two of you ducking beneath the curtain. The space is small, the bench barely fitting both of you, but you slide in close without thinking.

Suguru leans in, shoulder pressed to yours. “You know these always come out ridiculous, right?”

“That’s the point.”

The machine beeps and you barely have time to grab his arm before the first flash goes off.

The next few seconds are a blur of laughing and leaning into each other, you sticking your tongue out on one shot, him grinning too wide on another. The last one — right before the final beep — you turn on impulse and press a quick kiss to his cheek.

The flash catches the exact moment his eyes go wide, surprised, the faintest blush creeping up his neck.

You’re still giggling when you step back out into the cool air, waiting for the little strip of photos to print.

When it does, Suguru takes it first — holding it up with a soft smile.

“I’m keeping this one,” he says, fingers brushing over the image of you kissing his cheek.

You grin, cheeks warm. “Fair. But I want a copy.”

The two of you linger a little longer — enough to wander past the last few stalls, the air now cooler against your skin.

Suguru glances up at the sky, “We should head back,” he says gently. “Before curfew.”

You nod. “Yeah.”

He adjusts the strap on his bag, giving the new keychain a quick glance, and then falls into step beside you, fingers brushing yours again. You tuck your hands in your coat pockets, but stay close, shoulders almost touching as you walk.

The train ride back is quieter this time. You lean lightly against him as the car sways, the soft rumble of the tracks almost lulling you to sleep. Suguru says nothing, just lets you rest there.

By the time you reach campus, the air’s colder. The lights in the dorm windows glow soft against the dark.

At the path where your buildings split — his dorm to the left, yours to the right — you both stop.

Suguru turns to face you, hands deep in his coat pockets. “Thanks for today.”

You smile, heart still warm. “I should be thanking you.”

He holds your gaze for a beat longer, the air between you soft and a little heavier than before.

“See you tomorrow?” he asks.

You nod. “Yeah. Tomorrow.”

For a second, it almost feels like he might lean in — but instead, he lifts one hand, brushing his knuckles lightly against your cheek.

“Goodnight, pretty,” he says, voice low.

“Goodnight,” you echo, cheeks warm again.

And then, he turns, heading down the path toward his dorm.

You watch him go for a moment, heart still fluttering. Then turn toward your own, the cold air nipping at your cheeks.

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casualhedonists · 2 years ago

Text

✩ it don’t need your loving, it just needs attention ✩ (chapter three)

pairing: Coriolanus Snow x reader

chapter: 3/? (MASTERLIST)

warnings: NSFW (18+), snow being snow, themes of sex work (not the reader), cuckolding, eventual smut, fake relationship, unprotected sex, themes of voyeurism & mild exhibitionism, murder mention (but no actual murder) (not yet at least?), MAJOR manipulation/gross power dynamics + generally darkish themes, power play, oral sex, thigh riding, degradation, dirty talk, eventual piv, i’m new to full on smut bear with me here (and pls tell me if i forgot anything!)

i do not give permission for my work to be reposted/translated anywhere, under any circumstances.

taglist: if you’d like to be tagged, leave a comment on the masterlist post and i’ll add you! 💌

a/n: thank you for your patience and condolences / kind messages over the past week i’ve been awol. i’m very happy to be back. very long, filthy and much awaited chapter ahead, so strap in and hope you enjoy the ride.

in the words of miss zegler herself: oh we are so back.

You weren’t sure how long he stared at you, smiling with a fire in his eyes that rivalled yours until it was eclipsed. A third and final time, you found yourself speechless, dumbstruck, and one final time, much like the others, you took a few shaky steps backwards, before turning and fleeing.

He knew. He’d known this whole time. How long had he been planning this? Exactly how much of this had been an act, with Snow puppeteering you as you slowly lost your mind?

You almost felt pity for the girl, because she was played just like you were. She was a mere pawn in his game of chess, where he’d toyed with you until you were backed into a corner, unable to make a move.

Well, not this time. Now you knew what he was playing, you were ready to up your game. This wouldn’t be another stalemate; you wanted to win, and you had a few ideas of where to start.

You were already up and dressed when you heard a knock at your door the next morning.

Dreading the worst – despite the fact that Snow had never actually been in your room before, but the rules had changed now and you weren’t sure quite how much – you paused for a second to prepare yourself, praying that he wouldn’t be there, ready to put a stop to your plans before they’d even started.

You fell lucky. It was one of Snow’s footmen, George.

“Good morning, ma’am. I, um.” He swallowed, not meeting your eye. “I have a message from Master Snow. He’d like for you to meet him for breakfast in a half hour, if you will. He says you have something… quite important to discuss.”

Typical Snow. Never liked to get his hands dirty. Too proud to knock at your door himself.

You considered.

“George, could you please tell Coriolanus that if I’ve already eaten, and that I’ll come to him when I see fit. If he isn’t satisfied,” you added, for his sake, as you knew Snow wasn’t above killing the messenger, “Say I have an urgent matter to tend to, and I’m not sure when I’ll be back.”

You grew a lump in your throat from your refusal, fearing the consequences. But you’d set your plan into motion now and there was no going back. Once George had been sent on his way, you snuck down the stairs on the far end of the building and slipped out the door through the servants’ quarters, where you knew Snow wouldn’t see you leave. The one upside to the last few weeks was that you’d learned how to sneak around the manor unnoticed. You were certain there were at least three hallways he’d had never even set foot in.

You had Lucille call Henry – Snow’s driver – in advance so you could leave right away.

“Where are we going, ma’am?” He glanced at you over his shoulder as you slid into the black town car.

“Head into the city. I’ll explain on the way.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Henry took some convincing – and some light bribing – to finally cave and tell you what and where this gentleman’s club was. Of course, it was a risk, a roll of the dice to go there without concrete proof, but you knew Snow. You knew his little neuroses and hang-ups, and he was paranoid; in all senses, it would seem, except when it came to you. If he’d been frequenting this club for some time – some years, according to Henry – and trusted their discretion, then you highly doubted he’d play Russian roulette and pick somewhere else.

You were dropped off outside, and sent Henry to the tailor to pick up some of Snow’s things; an excuse for the outing, but a part of your plan too. He was hesitant to leave you alone in such a place, but you insisted you knew exactly how to handle yourself, and so he gave in.

You’d deliberately dressed down for what you were about to do, worn your old coat and let your hair down with a hood pulled over it. It being daytime, the place was closed for business, but you knocked on the front door expectantly.

You waited. Went over the plan, and knocked again.

This time, the door opened and a burly man now stood between you and the inside of the brothel. Your curiosity made peek over his shoulder before he cleared his throat.

“Can I help you, miss?”

“Yes. My name is Margaret, sir, I’m a maid at the, uh,” You dropped your voice to a low whisper, “Snow household. I have a message for the owner of this establishment, from my master. Is he here?”

The man cleared his throat and glanced around the nearly empty street, then beckoned you in quickly.

“Anything for Mr Snow, miss. Right this way.”

There was your proof.

The empty club was a classy one, you had to give Snow that. The bar caught your eye, silver panels lining the wall behind it in an otherwise jet-black glossy room, with dark red couches and shiny tables, booths, single chairs, a stage with shiny metal poles, and a few cordoned-off alcoves.

You took it all in, certain you’d be able to appreciate the aesthetics of it more if it wasn’t for the seething rage inside you. You were stopped at a closed door near the back, and the burly man knocked.

“Yeah.” Came a voice from inside.

“All yours. He’ll take care of you.” Your guide stepped away. You pushed at the door.

A dark-haired man sat facing a desk, poring over paperwork. He didn’t look up.

“If you’re here for a job, sweetie, it’s Tuesday after 11.”

This incensed you.

“I’m not here for work. This is official business. I was told you take care of… special clients.”

He spun around, frowning.

“I’m listening.”

“I have a message from President Snow. He has a series of requests to be carried out with no delay.”

“Ah, yes. Mr Snow. I see. And you are to him?” He prompted.

“Just a maid from the household. He sent me as a messenger.”

“Excellent. Well in that case, of course, miss. How can I be of service?”

You took a breath, hoping desperately that he didn’t see right through you.

“Firstly, the shoes your girl wore.”

“What would he like with them?” He asked.

“He’d like to keep them. He’s willing to pay, and he’s not up for a price negotiation. This should cover them.” You slipped a bill across the table, and he nodded. You learned long ago that money causes loose lips, and this man was no exception.

“Of course,” he obliged, “They’re in the lockers through that door there. I’ll bring them to you. We ordered them in specially for Veronica, he made a point for her to wear them on the first floor. Usually our girls get instructions to sneak through clients’ houses quietly, but we handle every request as thoroughly as possible.” He chuckled.

That fucker. He really had planned it all out to get in your head.

“Was there anything else I can do for you, miss?”

You swallowed thickly.

Here goes.

“Yes, actually. As of today, he’ll no longer be needing your services, or her services. He’d like to terminate your contract, and he doesn’t wish to see her again. Ever.”

The owner blinked. His mouth moved, as if he was about to say something, but then it closed again.

“But, um,” he stammered, “It’s only been three weeks. Veronica is our best girl, and he’s her top client. She carried out his orders to the absolute best of her ability, I can assure you. Are you sure those were his words?”

You sighed.

“She’s getting off lucky with a dismissal. Take it as a warning, sir. President Snow doesn’t show mercy to thieves. If she shows her face again, I can guarantee you, he’ll have her head.”

His face turned plum-red with horror.

“She was… stealing?”

In a way, yes.

“She was caught by a maid last night.” You nodded, and the owner swallowed thickly.

“I – I understand, Miss. I am terribly sorry for this. I apologise that our services weren’t up to your master’s expectations, truly. Please, if there’s anything I can do- and I can assure you, I’ll be having some very stern words-”

You cut him off.

“There is one more thing, as a matter of fact."

"Anything." He pleaded.

"You can send word that… Veronica, is it? She’ll be paying him a visit this evening. But you are not, under any circumstances, to send her. Am I understood?”

He furrowed his brows, puzzled. But you stared back challengingly and held your ground.

A small, sheepish smile formed on his face.

“Much obliged. I can assure you your requests will be carried out with the utmost discretion.”

“Thank you.”

He brought you the heels in a shiny box, and you turned and left.

Henry was waiting outside, and you slid back into the car.

“Get what you needed, ma’am?”

“I certainly did.”

The drive home was your chance to pick up lunch, finetune your plan, and go through the suits you’d had Henry pick up from the tailor.

They looked impeccable – crisp and creaseless, the white shirts brighter than the stars, and the maroon red jackets and waistcoats deeper than blood itself. It was one of these jackets that you chose to take upstairs with you, leaving the rest to be taken up to Snow’s room later, hoping the missing item would go unnoticed.

You retraced your way up the winding stairs of the manor. Luckily, Lucille had informed you Snow had left not long after you that morning, and was expected to be gone until evening. Nonetheless, your paranoia made you glance left, right and left again before every turn. Finally, after an exhaustingly long morning, you were back in the safety of your own room.

But the work was far from finished. You ate quickly, then began getting ready for your discussion with Snow. He hadn’t sent for you again; he was too proud. You took pride in knowing he’d be positively seething at your turning him down that morning. You kept going, showering, teasing your hair, adding a little more makeup than usual – not excessive, but enough to make a difference – then finally wandered the room as you picked your wardrobe for later.

You lay out the heels – which were a little big on you, but would serve their purpose – as well as the jacket you’d stolen, taking the time to run your fingers over the smooth maroon velvet you’d felt only briefly before, when brushing against Snow at public events. You then dug through your underwear drawer, debating between a red lingerie set and a white. You picked the latter; the tones of red would blend in with the jacket and white made more of a statement.

Innocence. If only.

You checked the time. Three hours or so until Coriolanus would be expecting Veronica. You hoped that he would be back by then, and more so, that your performance with the brothel owner had been enough to hold him to his promise of sending word. But if you’d learnt anything from Snow, it was that fear commanded respect, and better yet, obedience. So your doubts were few and far between.

In all honesty, that’s what had drawn you to Snow in the first place. It wasn’t about money; your family had money, more than they knew what to do with. It was the power, the fear. Even the richest man in the world would crumble to the ground with a gun to his head. Power trumps wealth every time, and the enigmatic, newly elected President was by far the most powerful man in Panem.

It was its own kind of thrill, pursuing a man like that. The temptation to get him wrapped around your fingers, ravenous, hungry for power, hungry for him. It all blurred together at this point, the man was like a magnet. You wondered if this thirst for more, always more, was an affliction the two of you shared. Or perhaps, an affliction you’d developed a taste for because of him. And the longer you spent at his side, the louder it began to beat in your chest like a second heart. You wanted to consume it, and let it consume you.

It thrummed in your chest now, adrenaline coursing in your veins. You fidgeted as you waited for the hours to pass, your craving growing with each second. You flicked through a few books; you drafted a letter to your mother. Each tick of the clock bringing you closer to finally taking the one thing you’d wanted since the day you met Coriolanus Snow. It was almost time for your big move.

✩✩✩✩

As enough darkness crept into your room and you stood to light some candles, you heard soft footsteps pass your door.

For a change, you recognised them as Snow’s, even and deliberate. He was home. With half an hour to spare until he’d be expecting his whore.

You jumped at the opportunity to change. Slowly and carefully, you slipped out of your clothes and into the underwear set, until you were clad in crisp white lace, with a matching garter belt as a finishing touch. You slid on Snow’s jacket – which smelled like him, of his cologne – the usual fitted shape it would give Snow now hanging loose and slack around your body, falling to the tops of your thighs. You did up the first button, tracing the neckline that plunged down your chest, leaving very little to the imagination. You slipped into the heels, checked the time, and after scanning yourself over in the mirror, made for the door.

The few worries you had about being seen by the staff were short-lived; the hallway lights were dim as you wobbled in the heels, focusing on putting one foot in front of the other. You weren’t sure if Snow had fallen for your plan, but what mattered was that as you turned the corner, there were lights shining from under his bedroom door. He was in there, waiting. By now, it was odd seeing it closed. You tried your best to emulate the sound of the footsteps you’d drilled into your brain, the clicks giving you a sense of power knowing Snow – apprehensive or not – would be in for at least one surprise.

Click. Click. Click.

You considered pausing before barging in, but you didn’t. When you reached the end of the hallway, seconds away from your fate, you reached out a hand, pushed Snow’s door open, and walked right inside.

Snow was there; of course he was. Facing his dresser and away from you, he didn’t flinch at the sound of your arrival. You closed the door behind you, and took a step towards him. Stared at his back, scanning his black dress pants and the white shirt he’d rolled up to his elbows, cufflinks on the table, blonde curls a little unruly as he smoothly poured himself a drink.

This, right here, was where the solid part of your plan ended. It was caution to the wind from here on out, and you could practically taste it, high off the adrenaline; off his presence. And he hadn’t even looked at you yet.

This was the moment of truth.

“Well,” he said, taking a sip of his drink. “Look who finally figured it out.”

“Not who you were expecting?”

“She’d never reschedule.” he said simply, turning on his heels, eyes glinting at you. “Figured you were up to something. Drink?”

“Think I’ll pass.”

He approached you, eyes scanning your body, deliberately clad in the skimpiest underwear you owned. You figured this was as good a time as any to unbutton the jacket and let it fall open. It brushed your sides, and you watched him lower his glance, hungrily taking you in for what could quite possibly be the very first time. He wet his lips, took another sip.

There it is.

There was that power you craved, that look that you’d been aching to see in his eyes while he stared at you, and although it was fucked up, you let the pride fill your head with confidence, and stepped forward.

“Now, just where did you get that?” A slight narrowing of his eyes gave him away. At least something you’d done had made an impression.

“Borrowed it. In case I get cold.” You smiled.

“Cute. Didn’t your daddy ever tell you not to take things that aren’t yours?”

“Oh, I take whatever I want, Snow.”

You raised your head in defiance. Proud of your voice for not faltering once.

“Clearly. Nice shoes. Borrow those, too?”

“Why, do they look familiar?” you quipped.

“I think we both know the answer to that, doll. Now why don’t you tell me why you’re here?”

You sighed, feigning exasperation. A chill crept up your legs but you barely noticed.

“You wanted to talk to me, Coriolanus. Talk.”

“Is that really what you came here for, sweetheart? Dressed like that?” He put his drink down on the dresser, not once looking away from you.

“If this is what it takes to get your attention, Snow, then yes.”

You took another step closer, and the jacket fell further to your sides, more skin slipping out from underneath for him to feast his eyes on.

“I think you know plenty about trying to get my attention. I watched you struggle for weeks.”

“Didn’t think you cared.” You muttered.

He laughed, low, more like a scoff.

“What, your childish attempts at seduction? They were pitiful at best. I’d expect that kind of behaviour from a common whore, not a lady of your standing.”

“Thought you liked whores.” You retorted.

“They’re no fun to live with. And there you were, proving my point.”

Your eyes narrowed, and when you spoke, it was through gritted teeth.

“So what, you had to go and fuck one to prove a point? Mature.”

“Mature?” he glowered, then before you could think, he stormed towards you, grabbing both of your wrists with a hard squeeze. You gasped.

“Mature like you, with your short skirts and your fuck-me eyes, sucking your fingers off at the breakfast table?”

You squirmed. Tried to jolt yourself away but it was no use.

“I didn’t think you-”

“Oh, I noticed.” He said, moving in to corner you, grip tightening until he was walking you backwards across the room as he spoke, never once taking his eyes off you. “And it’s a real shame this couldn’t have been easier for us both, but you just had to start it. So I watched your pathetic little displays, day after day, knowing if you’d behaved better, I would’ve given you exactly what you wanted.”

You fought not to trip over yourself until your legs bumped against the ottoman at the foot of his bed and you caught your breath. His eyes bored into yours and you blinked helplessly. His grip loosened on your wrists. You tried to speak, but your mouth had gone dry.

“If you’d been good,” he continued, voice lowering, “you wouldn’t have played around like that. Good girls don’t whore themselves out to respectable men.”

Your eyes narrowed in defiance as you felt heat start to brew in your stomach.

“Respectable?” You spat, and his grip tightened again, bringing one hand up to trace your jaw, almost pitifully.

“See what I mean? You dig yourself deeper at every turn. Good girls ask nicely, and say please. It didn’t take me long to figure out you had issues with authority. It could’ve been so easy for you, sweetheart. You had plenty of chances. You could’ve asked me very nicely to fuck you, but instead you behaved like a desperate slut for weeks on end. Eventually, I knew there was only one way to shut you up.”

Your ears started to ring and you fought harder to gain composure. He’d never talked to you like this before. And now, all this, all at once, it was almost too much. Goosebumps had long covered your arms and legs, despite the heat inside you burning you up. You were vaguely aware of heat pooling uncomfortably between your legs.

Your breathing was heavy as you stared into him, his hand gripping your chin, and you couldn’t hide it if you tried. He finally backed away, letting you peel yourself from the ottoman. His hungry eyes scanned over you, suit jacket now crumpled at the wrists. You swallowed as you tried to pull yourself together.

“You knew I was watching you. The whole time. Every time. It was… for me.”

He watched you knowingly, raised his eyebrows a little. His lips grew into that smirk, that fucking smirk you knew all too well.

“We were playing the same game, sweetheart. I was just… Better.”

“A little excessive, don’t you think?” Your voice faltered and you cursed how breathy it sounded.

“Oh, on the contrary. It was very entertaining to see you struggle, but I could’ve gone further.” He mused. “I even considered fucking her on your bed.”

Shit.

A thought popped into your head, and a strange smile made its way to your face.

“Aren’t you going to ask me where I got these?” You asked, glancing down.

He frowned for a second; good. You’d thrown him off guard. But he caught up fast.

“The heels? You know, I had her walk right past your door in those so you’d follow her and see just what you were missing?”

If you weren’t so wired with adrenaline, you were pretty sure you’d be tearing up with how desperate you felt. But his words channelled it all into pure anger.

“Fuck you.” You seethed, and he smiled.

“We'll get to that. But go on, I’ll bite. What did you do to her?”

“Let’s just say she deserved much worse than what she got. Maybe you should’ve fucked her on my bed. Would’ve given me a reason to choke the life out of her.”

“You think I’d care?”

“Course not. Knowing you, it’d probably get you off.”

“Which brings us right back to now.” He stared at you, challenging. You laughed again.

“Is this you talking? You’re not very good at it.”

“No, this is me giving you a second chance. The way I see it, you made your move, I made mine. Now, if you’re a good girl, and ask me very nicely to fuck you until that pretty little head of yours gets filled with nothing but empty space, I might consider putting an end to this and giving you what you want. Maybe.” If you thought you’d survive smacking that smug look off his face, you would.

“You want me to ask nicely, Coriolanus?” You closed the gap between the two of you and glanced up at him through your lashes. He looked back at you, and no chill in the world could cool you down from the fire in his eyes.

He stepped away, paced towards the desk chair – the one he’d watched you from last night – then dragged it across the floor, spun it around, and took a seat. Once again, last night felt worlds away now. A lifetime sat between that moment and this one as he made himself comfortable, unbuttoned his collar. As if the room was now a stage, and he was the sole spectator.

“Go on. I’m waiting.”

Cocky bastard.

Another airy laugh escaped you. But you’d be lying if you said he wasn’t exactly where you wanted him. So you played into it.

“You want me to beg you? Say pretty please?” Your voice softened as you slowly stepped towards him, holding his gaze. A passing thought reminded you of your childhood, asking your mother what you’d feel when you first truly fell for someone.

Fireworks. Thousands of them, crackling, hissing, charging the air between the two of you into something heavy. Thick clouds of smoke you could almost taste as you stared into darkened eyes. You paused in front of him, fingers playing with the hem of his suit jacket that brushed against your thighs. Caught your bottom lip between your teeth.

“Take it off.” He ordered.

“Gladly.”

You slipped the jacket off your shoulders, and it fell smoothly into a pile on the floor. You kicked off the heels next, landing haphazardly to the side with a thump. His eyes never leaving you, consuming you.

“Like what you see, Snow?”

He took you in, long and hungry and shameless. Like you were simply there for his entertainment, nothing else. You wondered where along the line he’d lost all his inhibitions, at what moment in his very young life he’d decided to simply stop caring. It should scare you, but it just made you burn warmer. Maybe your wires were a little crossed, too, because it didn’t make you feel cheap.

It made you feel powerful.

You knew you looked good, too; you’d made sure of it. But he was looking at you like you were carved out of solid gold. He didn’t answer, because he didn’t need to.

“Think I like you better when you’re not acting like a dumb slut.”

You hummed, determined and unphased, moving in closer until your legs touched his knees. His words shouldn’t turn you on - nor should not knowing exactly how much he meant them – but they did.

“You like me better when I’m begging, then?” You placed your legs either side of his, straddling him, but still standing, and took his hands in yours. You ran one of them across your lips, brazenly taking a digit in your mouth, releasing it with a wet pop, then dropping your head down.

“You want me to be straightforward, Snow? Tell you exactly what I want?” you breathed, your foreheads almost touching, looking down at him from a thrilling vantage point, your hair falling either side of his face. “To beg you to rip this off me?” You guided his hands to your hips, letting them slide over the lacy fabric. “You want me to beg you to kiss every inch of skin you see and make it yours? Beg you to fuck me until I can’t think, and forget my own name?”

You ran his hands down the sides of your legs, then, inch by inch, letting him take a good long look on the way, you finally lowered yourself onto his lap. Your blown-out eyes met again, at the same level this time. You shifted your hips once, feigning getting comfortable, and hid a smile as he let out a strained sound.

You were close enough to feel his breath against yours, fast but steady, controlled. You moved closer, your head dipping cautiously under his chin to kiss his neck. He smelt clean, like fresh laundry and his cologne, and his skin tasted like salt as your tongue traced a line across it. It felt like power, having him like this. Slowly starting to grind your hips as your mouth pressed against his pulse, every shaky breath you elicited from him awakening something new in you.

“Say it, Snow.” You murmured, breath catching. “Tell me you want me to beg you, and be good for you.” Another trail of messy kisses across his jaw, and you finally heard it, ragged and coarse, words shooting through you like knives softened by the heat of his breath on your hair.

“Be a good girl, and fucking beg me.”

You hummed with satisfaction. Moved your lips to his ear, hand cupping the back of his neck, and leaned in close.

“If you wanted me to be good,” you whispered, “then you’ve picked the wrong girl.”

You felt it, his whole body tensing beneath you. But you had it now, the upper hand, and you weren’t giving it away. Your other hand came up to close over his mouth with a warning shake of the head, and you gripped the back of his neck harder with the first. Craned it backwards so he could look at you, a different kind of fire in his eyes. A fire that could burn you far worse than any other. You leaned your weight into him until you were flush, skin pressing into fabric. Tightening your legs around his so he couldn’t kick out. You felt dangerous. You felt alive.

When you spoke, your voice was a vial of vitriol.

“You thought I’d just give into you? Three weeks of torture and you call it even? No fucking way, Snow. You wanted to play? Let’s play.”

You were closer to him now than you’d ever been before, infinitely closer than when you’d held hands in front of an audience, or danced in the middle of a ballroom, or when he’d draw you in for a lingering kiss at the head of a busy table.

You were closer still because of the common denominator: you were alone, your bodies pressed together, soft and firm colliding. And your stomach ached with want, but your rage burned brighter.

When you were sure he wouldn’t move, you readjusted your position on his lap so you were sat on one thigh, your right knee pressed firmly against the chair between his legs. Slowly, you dragged your hips against it, firm muscle between your legs, shameless as you stared him down.

“I’d like to modify the terms of our agreement, as of tonight. Starting with this: I’ve made sure your little whore won’t come running back here. If I so much as hear a whisper of a rumor that you’re fucking someone else, I’m leaving. Don’t think I don’t know how to disappear. I can, and I will.”

He scowled at you, and you’d never felt power like the rush you got from seeing your hand clamped over his mouth. His own hands, now easily able to overpower you and push yours away, instead sat at your hips, digging in so hard you knew there’d be bruises for weeks. As you moved, he started to follow suit, rocking your hips on his thigh faster.

He’s allowing this.

The realisation made you pull your hand from his mouth, and yet he didn’t speak. There was a tightness in his jaw, locked down so hard it must’ve hurt as he watched you move, helped you move. It sent a shock through your core, and you ground down harder.

Who’s on top now?

This was getting to your head.

“President Snow,” you mocked. “What a title. Thinks he can take whatever’s in his sight. Thinks he has the right. Did you think I’d come crawling back to you?” Your voice lowered.

“Did you think I’d get on my knees, like she did?” You glanced down, running your now-free hand over the front of his pants, gentle at first, then pressing in firm, and he hissed.

“Did you really think, after all your little shows, that I’d just submit? Not a chance.” You spat, and his breath turned a little shaky as your hand slid up, then down.

As it evened out, and he reached for composure again, he pulled a countermove. Got in close, with words so sharp, they nearly cut through you.

“Which one was your favorite?”

You pulled your hand away. Your hold on the back of his neck tightened, and in turn, so did his grip on your hips, pulling you down harder as you got closer, panties bunching up as you became desperate.

You shook your head.

“Don’t.”

He smirked.

“I gave you plenty to go off. Tell me, was it when I sat right here while she rode me? Or when I was fucking her mouth and calling your name?”

He pulled your hips in rougher, and you gasped, barely able to think. You were sure if he kept this up, your thighs would chafe. You just couldn’t find it in you to care.

“No, I don’t think so.” He hummed. “I know which one it was. It was the second time, wasn’t it? When I was making her cum all over my tongue, wondering what you tasted like.”

You couldn’t help it – a moan slipped out of your lips. He kept up the pace, rolling your hips faster, flexing his thigh as you started losing your bearings. He laughed at the state of you.

“I knew that one would get to you. Tell me something, princess, how many times did you touch yourself after that night wishing it was me? Or did you lose count?”

You gritted your teeth, fighting the spinning room.

“Cocky much?”

He let out a breathy laugh again, as if he was losing himself as much as you were. Pulling you in harder in response.

“Look at you,” he mused, “riding my thigh like the needy slut you are. Bet you’re close, too, and I haven’t even touched you yet.”

“Fuck.” you panted. “Stop fucking talking, oh my god.”

“You sure about that, sweetheart? You know I can feel how wet it’s making you, right?”

Your head dropped down and you whined. Sure enough, you’d soaked through your panties and dripped an embarrassing wet patch on his dress pants. You cursed under your breath as you slowed down.

“Beg me.” He ordered.

“No.” You gasped as he pulled you back again, faster, hips bucking as your legs started to shake around his.

“Beg me,” he repeated, "or I’ll stop.”

“Fuck, no, don’t fucking stop, I can’t-”

It was so much friction it hurt, but you kept chasing it.

“Yes, you can. You want to cum? Ask nicely, sweetheart. Just ask me.”

The seam of your panties got wetter as you moved, just enough to let the pain melt into pleasure instead as it caught on your clit, and you started to ride out your high. You were right at the edge, he was keeping you there, hair stuck to your face in a hot sweat as you writhed on his lap. So fucking close.

“Fine, shit. Please. Please help me cum, oh my god. Right there, please. Fuck.”

And maybe you were more like him than you thought, because you weren’t ashamed. You rode his thigh like you’d ride him, unabashedly, while he watched you starting to fall apart. He moved faster, pulled your hips hard in as if you were riding him, as if he could feel it, breath running ragged, desperate. It only brought you closer knowing this would be sending him over the edge, holding you so near and yet so awfully far away. The look in his eyes screaming danger, and you let it swallow you whole, squeezing his shoulders like you were scared you’d float away.

"That's it. Knew you'd sound incredible, asking me all pretty like that."

His lips met your neck, teeth grazing your skin and that’s what did it, your legs squeezing his as you shook through your orgasm, crying out, falling to pieces, hearing going fuzzy. The words good girl echoing through your head so distantly, you couldn’t tell if he’d really said them or not.

You sighed, glazed eyes rolling open, coming back to yourself. Your right hand was pressed against his chest, fingers curled into the creased fabric of his shirt. As you looked closer, you noticed it had opened wider, and he was missing a button. Had you done that?

When your eyes finally met Snow’s, you couldn’t look away from them. Beautiful and blue, like an ocean frozen over, staring into yours like you were all he’d ever wanted. You could get high off this feeling, live off it.

“Get on the bed.” He breathed. “Right fucking now.”

But too much of any feeling isn’t good for you.

“No.”

He glowered, face flushing even further, and as he leaned in to make another demand, you quickly stood, trying your hardest not to let your wobbling legs give you away.

“You should understand, Snow. We’re doing things my way now. And I’m going to be doing them as I please, when I please.”

You picked his jacket up from the floor, and slipped back into it, the soft fabric cooling down your burning skin.

“You think you’re funny, sweetheart? Nobody likes a fucking tease.”

You chuckled, doing up a button and brushing your hair out of your face, damp with sweat. You walked to the dresser and took a swig from Snow’s half-empty glass, then turned. He sat there, and it took everything in you not to smirk at the mess you’d made of him. You handed him the glass when you were done drinking and turned away. You felt him stand, but you didn’t acknowledge it, still fiddling with your hair, smoothing it out.

“You said it yourself, Snow. I’m no common whore. If you want me to beg you to fuck me, you’re gonna have to work for it.” You turned, pulling him in for a chaste kiss. His face was unreadable.

“But be a doll, leave your door unlocked.” You added, stepping back. “You never know when I might change my mind.”

“You’re not going to leave. You wouldn’t dare.” He seethed, the rage in his voice only propelling you on.

“Wouldn’t I?” You smiled, giving him a once over. Dropped your eyes down pointedly, first at the ruined leg you’d ridden, then at the uncomfortable-looking tent in his pants. You met his eye again and bit your lip, really laying it on thick. “Good luck with that, sweetheart. I’ll see you at breakfast.”

He huffed, incredulous, disbelief painted across his face as you made for the door, swinging it open. You glanced over your shoulder.

“Buckle up, Snow. I’m just getting started.”

You missed the way his shocked face turned almost admiring as he watched you leave, walking barefoot down the hallway, leaving the door wide open.

Checkmate.

a/n: hope it was worth the wait 😌

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#coriolanus snow x reader #coriolanus snow x you #coriolanus snow smut #coriolanus x reader #coriolanus x you #snow x reader #snow x you #tom blyth #tbosas #the hunger games #the ballad of songbirds and snakes #attention

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etherealily · 1 year ago

Text

𝟡 𝕝𝕚𝕧𝕖𝕤 // Nate Jacobs.

My other Nate fics. If you have the time.

Nate Jacobs + Fem!reader. Darker. SFW, but discretion advised.

Part 1 : Whiplash Part 3 : Blessed Part 4 : Shards Part 5 : Eighteen Bonus Chapter : Sin

You do NOT have permission to repost and/or translate any of my fics.

Desc. : You should be grateful.

════════════════════ ⋆♠️⋆ ════════════════════

He wasn't supposed to text you. He was supposed to take the beating you'd given him for being a prick, like a man, and shut the fuck up about it.

But here you were, midnight, staring at the chat that had started it all.

'yo, u up?'

You rolled your eyes, going back to your scrolling.

'I hate seenzoners.'

You liked his message.

'That's so much worse.'

'The fuck do u want?'

Nate Jacobs sent a voice message.

You could have just ignored it. You could just block him. You could just… stop. But the allure was far too much. The urge of finding out what he wanted was too strong.

"Guess where I am."

He could've just texted that. No need for a voice message, but he was Nate Jacobs.

"I don't know, the psych ward?"

"You wanna know? You'll have to drive and follow my instructions, though. You trust me enough for that?"

Ha. No fucking chance. "No, I'm good, thanks."

"Oh, so you'll text me, but won't see me in person?"

His voice was oddly sultry, as if he'd either just woken up or hadn't slept for days. Most likely the first one.

"Bingo. Go to sleep, Jacobs."

And then he sent you a picture of him from the bleachers of your school's football stadium - how the fuck did he get in?

"C'mon, don't you want to see what our school looks like at night?"

Uh, yes. But with him? No.

"It's 12:05, ASSHOLE. No fucking way."

"This is the scene where you cave and meet me and we have a cute little nighttime school montage where we sit and talk about life."

You listened to that message a good four times before you stopped laughing.

"This is the scene where I block you."

"I will come over if you don't come to the school. Uh, y'know, if you want your parents to think you're fooling around with the QB."

"I will literally shoot you if you come within fifty feet of my house."

"Come. I'll make it worth your while."

Was it possible to hear smirks?

"I'm not coming, Nate."

No way he was actually at the high school. It was probably an insanely good edit.

"You will be."

The FUCK was that supposed to mean? Not like he could force you to show up.

"Wanna bet?"

"Sure. Fifty bucks says you show up to the high school tonight."

"Not blowing fifty bucks on anything, even if I do win."

"What's it going to take for you to come? Look, I-I know it's been weird, and I might've scared you, but that's… that wasn't my intention, I swear."

Yeah, his intention was just to show you what his blood looked like. You liked his message once more, rolling your eyes.

"Dude, seriously, I swear, I'm not like, a serial killer or anything. You can bring pepper spray, a taser, whatever, if it makes you feel better. I'm just- okay, fuck, you're right. Dumb idea, trying to convince you like this."

Wait, okay, good. That was good. He was getting the message.

Another voice message.

"I forgot who I was talking to. You leave me no choice."

"What?" No.

And then, you received a video. He was teetering off the edge of the top-most row of bleachers. With a gun at his head.

"Come on, Y/N, this is getting really sad, that the only way I can grab your attention is by almost killing myself."

"I don't care. Do whatever. Not falling for it this time."

═════════════════════ ⋆♠️⋆ ═══════════════════

"FUCK!", you yelled, as you found yourself running frantically through the school football field for the second time in two weeks.

You'd actually kept your word for a while, pushing out every Nate-related thought for a good night's sleep - you didn't fall for it.

Until McKay called and informed you that Nate wasn't picking up his phone - and that his last message was something along the lines of : 'Call Y/N if you don't hear from me in the next couple of minutes'.

He was deranged. Playing Russian Roulette with his own life was absolutely deranged.

"You actually showed."

GOOD, he was still alive, meaning you could kill him.

You didn't speak. That would simply complicate things, because then you'd have to look at him.

"Plus, you didn't flinch when you saw me. Think that's a win for me in the trust department."

You stood there, glaring at him as he jumped down from the bleachers, even doing that dangerously, as if he was a cat with nine lives, or he was playing a video game and would just respawn.

"You know, you could say something."

He wasn't getting impatient, though, like his tone was trying to portray. No, he was getting more amused. He liked this. He liked the fact that he got you to come to a basically abandoned-for-the-holidays-high school at midnight. He reveled in it.

"Like hey, Nate, thanks for convincing me to actually live a little for a change instead of staying cooped up in my house.", he suggested.

You punched him.

Yeah. You kept running across that field till you were close enough and you punched him right then and there.

You full-on punched him, shoved him back, slapped him, clawed at him. "Stop FUCKING doing this to me! STOP! You can't FUCKING do this to me!", you screamed, hitting him repeatedly on his chest.

He took every beating, and the fact that it seemed he was trying not to laugh just egged you on even more to actually kill him, make his nose bleed, make his head fall clean off his egotistical body.

Eventually, though, it seemed even Nate Jacobs had his limit. He grappled against your hands as he held them between both your chests, clenching his jaw. He wouldn't risk saying anything, seeing as your eyes were already burning with tears.

"You…", you cried out as he shifted his grip on your hands to only one hand, wrapping the other around you. "…Can't keep…"

"Shh, shh, I know.", he muttered as he rested his chin on your head. "Shh, I had to."

"No, you didn't."

He kissed your head, then your forehead, your nose, your cheeks, and stopped for a moment, hovering over your lips but not touching them, as though he was more scared than you were. "You know I did."

You wondered if he could taste the tears, whether he relished it. Knowing what little you did of him, he might have.

"I would've come."

"No, you wouldn't have. Shh." He was right, but there had to be some other way.

"You know what, sweetheart?"

It was sickening how he could do this to you and then use words of endearment against you.

"You should actually be grateful."

And that's when you noticed that he was actually gripping onto your hair, tightening it when your face didn't show any contortion due to pain (only contortion due to unbridled rage and the urge to stab him with your car keys).

"I usually hurt people to get what I want. With you, I'm hurting myself."

You fought the urge to say 'so fucking what?'

"You're not bleeding, baby, that's what you don't get. You're untouched, and safe, and not bleeding. Me, however?"

What was his point? That he was being a gentleman by scaring you half to death instead of having a normal adult conversation?

"I'm bleeding. I'm hurt. I'm in pain. But I'm still holding you."

He said it with exaggerated magnanimity, like he was doing you a favour, or something, like all your problems, trauma, worries, stress, had just disappeared because he was holding you in his 'big strong arms'.

"Then stop!"

"Neither of us wants me to stop holding you."

"I do."

He grinned, knowingly, with a subtle shake of his head. "No, you don't."

"Let me go."

"No."

"Let me go, Nate."

"Fine. Because you called me Nate and not Jacobs.", he nodded, letting go of you and throwing up his arms. "Don't hit me again."

"Was McKay in on this?"

He frowned momentarily, before realization swept over his face. "Shit. Yeah, no, he wasn't. I should text him, huh?"

Oh, now he was asking if he should be a courteous human being?

You watched him loathingly, as he typed out what you guessed was a half-assed apology.

'Sorry, McKay, I'm good, man. Chicks, y'know?' or some absolutely fucked up shit like that, to be sure.

"Done. Now, will you stop being so square and enjoy the fact that you're here at school at midnight?"

"What?" Enjoy?

"I'll bet this is your first time out at midnight period, let alone your first time out at midnight somewhere you're not legally supposed to be."

"Why am I here?"

The condescending look he gave you set your teeth on edge. 'Oh, poor, naive girl. Of course she doesn't even know why she's here. This is why I told her to stay in my grasp. She never listens.'

FUCKING ASSHOLE.

"You're my good luck charm. My good luck charm, but I heard you're fucking Shane. You can't be doing that."

The softness in his movements, the gentleness, it had either completely stopped, or entirely overshadowed the fact that he had put you through yet another nerve-wracking event that would raise your blood pressure.

Shane who, Shane who, Shane- oh. Shane.

Not so much fucking as went on one date with, but it was better for everyone if Nate thought you had already gone that far.

"Why not?"

"He's a punk."

"You're one to talk."

"Look, he plays defense. What if you're just, like, intensely fortunate? Can't have him sneak in a quickie before the game and then he's lucky."

It's like he wanted you to punch him again.

"He's on your team. You'll win anyway."

He shrugged, as though he could see where you were coming from, but was about to respectfully absolutely ruin your argument.

"I like to win."

"Not a team player, are you?"

"Never claimed to be."

══════════════════════ ⋆♠️⋆ ═══════════════════

He was so clearly getting frustrated with your lack of response - the initial dopamine and thrill of being a disgusting element of surprise by shooting/not-shooting himself in the head gone.

But what could you say?

You'd already ghosted Shane after the date had tanked, so technically there was no reason for you to still be here. The chances of a 'lucky quickie' were virtually zero.

And so, you just stood there, the two of you, with inexplicable rage pooling within.

Your senses were heightened, your emotions wilder than the crazed look in your eyes as he stood there, looking down at you like an adult looking down at their childhood toy. As if you were the naivest, most precious, pathetically adorable thing he owned, reminding him of a simpler time.

At this point, even a rabbit's foot had been treated with more respect than you.

And you hated every moment of it because it was thrusted upon you, just like the silence of the eerie, void-like field you two were in.

"Why are you like this, Y/N?", he groaned, with the nerve to sound tired.

You? Why were you like this? What about him?

"You're… so cold." His hands flexed as if they were about to move from your hair to your throat. "Just… let loose, please. You're the reason I'm winning, I'd at least like to get to know you!"

"Oh, so this is like, an interview? Is she good enough to be associated with me? You think you're hot shit? Dude, I- you gotta realize how fucked up all of this is."

You were practically pleading. Acknowledge your absurdity, Nate Jacobs, please.

"Hey, whoa, look, you chose to associate yourself with me. Not my problem, ok?", he spat back, clearly happy with the return of banter.

"I didn't choose any of this!"

"You requested to follow me after I followed you. You chose not to block me after I followed you."

"You're putting this all on me?"

That's what normal people do ; they follow people back! He was grasping at straws, but it still seemed as though he had an iron grip on them.

"There wouldn't have been a first time if you didn't care so goddamn much." Like he was mocking you. You almost screamed. You almost hit him. He was so nonchalant.

But that… rang true. However, the humanitarian in you was adamant that there was absolutely no one cold enough to shrug off a video of someone slicing so effortlessly into their palm and exposing their blood so unabashedly.

Well, except Nate Jacobs himself.

"But, y'know what, Y/N?", he said, clearing his throat, matter-of-factly. "That's all in the past. Because now, now, we're going to sort out this arrangement between us and everything will go back to normal."

Normal? Normal as in, both of you go back to being strangers? Unlikely.

"Arrangement?"

"How this thing is going to go. Before every game, you fist-bump me. You don't touch any other players whatsoever, Blackhawk or otherwise."

Great, he was policing who you could fist-bump now.

"I- you brought me here at midnight for this?"

"Uh, no, I brought you here at midnight for fun.", he replied, scoffing. "But since you wanted to be all violent and physical, I thought we should stick to business."

Did he mean to be this insufferable? Was it a bit? There was no way an actual human being could act like this, yes? There was no way anyone could think that this was a justifiable response to a genuine question. Right?

At this point, you didn't know anymore.

Nate Jacobs had officially stumped you.

"If I say okay, can I leave?"

"No, you cannot leave, but you definitely can go sit over there and think about your little attitude before I bring out the tequila."

He burst out laughing at your annoyed face, slinging a heavy arm around your shoulder in an oddly possessive display of 'familiarity'.

"Relax. Loosen up, like I said, and you'll be fine.", he snorted, and that was your only indication that he did not, in fact, actually wish to put you into time-out.

The insane man with a gun had a sense of humour, apparently.

"You brought tequila?"

"I told you, the whole point of tonight was fun and getting to know the reason I'm winning better. So, sit."

You sat, still glaring up at him. You must have looked absolutely fucking cute or something, because he pouted at you before reaching into a duffle bag you hadn't noticed before and whipping out two bottles of straight tequila.

"Body shots?"

"Jacobs…"

"I'm joking, I'm joking. You'll come around soon, though. They all do."

Great. That's brilliant. You'd been reduced from a stranger, to a bitch, to a joke, to now a stereotype. This was just spectacular.

"Why me?"

That question seemed to genuinely catch him off-guard.

Good. Now he knows what this past week with him has been like.

"Hm?'

"Why me? Why am I the good luck charm?"

"I don't know."

"You could just be a really good player. You don't know, you haven't gone a single game without it, so you assume you're winning because of it."

"The third game was the one you weren't there for. You must remember hearing about it, though? Most embarrassing game for East Highland, I swear. 34-nil? That was shameful. That's why I decided, fourth game onwards, I wouldn't have to risk it because I got you."

Shit. That actually made sense.

"Okay, now you tell me.", he began, slightly turning the bottle in his hand around and examining the contents, curiously. "Shane Crestin? Seriously?"

"What?"

He scoff-snickered, taking an impressively large gulp before answering. "Y/N, the guy's a tool."

Look who's talking.

"He asked me out after the game."

"So, he knows you're my good luck charm.", he said, quietly, like a king trying to figure out where his men's loyalties lay.

Did Julius Caesar have a girl who he gaslit in order to get her to watch him in battle because of superstition? If so, she'd have been the first to stab him.

"Of course he knows, you made a huge spectacle of it that first time."

"Oh, yeah. But still, what a bastard. Trying to steal my lucky girl and her luck like that."

You needed to do a lobotomy on this man, seriously.

It wasn't even like you could ask him what the hell that meant because that would just bring him immense amounts of joy.

"You're not drinking. Why?", he inquired, opening the second bottle and forcing it to your lips.

You frowned as you held onto it. "I don't drink."

"Oh, bullshit. Come on, drink, don't be a nerd."

"I said no, okay?"

"Wait, do you not want to drink around me?"

He was really going above and beyond to break the 'dumb jock' stereotype, wasn't he?

"I can't believe it.", he continued, leaning back on the bleachers as he watched your face. "After all this, you don't trust me."

After all this, he said, as if he had spent his entire life working solely for your benefit. Like a tired mentor.

"I mean, dude, this is like… such a bitch move, you know that? I'm just trying to be nice."

"I don't know what you want me to do, Nate."

"Uh, trust me? Thought we were cool now, Y/N. You think I'm going to get you blackout drunk then have my way with you? Rape you? Are you scared to be around me? At midnight? In a quiet, empty football stadium where no one would think to look for you?", he questioned, still holding your gaze as he lifted his bottle to his mouth.

The elaboration of that statement unnerved you.

"I don't think you're going to rape me, I'm just-"

"Just scared of the possibility?"

"Don't take it personal, but-"

"There's no other way to take it. You're all but accusing me of assault. I thought you were different."

Was that meant to make you melt? 'Oh, no, I'm just like everyone else in that I don't want to end up in a ditch somewhere, the horror!'

"Maybe I'm not.", you shrugged.

"But you came. Tonight. No one else would have. So maybe you're a judgmental bitch like everyone else, but you've at least got your stupidly huge heart going for you."

If you strained your ears, that almost sounded like a compliment.

"Uh, thanks?"

"Drink, Y/N. Please."

Oh, fuck it. You needed that goddamn tequila to shoot through you with a vengeance.

"There we go.", he mumbled, watching you. "Dude, look at you."

"Hm?"

"You're finally badass."

His eyes lit up as he saw your finger enter the scene. He chuckled for a moment. "I'm being serious. I mean, you've beaten me up, what, three times so far - once in front of the entire school - and now you're doing underage shots with me at night at school, which is like, two illegal things at the same time."

See, that's where the difference between the two of you lay.

He thought that was being a badass.

You thought that was being a dumbass.

══════════════════════ ⋆♠️⋆ ═══════════════════

"…So yeah. That's why I joined football, basically. Made me feel, like, stronger and more in control, I guess."

This asshole had just told the most human story, and now you had to see him as a person. The cunt.

You watched as he stood in the middle of the field, aiming and shooting at the banners that were strewn up all around the field.

God, he was so fucking terrifying.

How does he play Russian Roulette to bait you into coming one minute and then reload and shoot at banners like a child with his first Nerf the next?

"Control. Yeah, that tracks."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You want everything to go your way. You get pissed when other people do things of their own will."

"Can't argue with that.", he shrugged, as he turned his back to you and shot another banner, impressively shooting right in the centre of the 'O' in a 'GO BLACKHAWKS!' sign. "You know how to shoot?"

"No."

"You should learn."

"I'll get right on that.", you scoffed, as you observed your tequila bottle intensely, ignoring him coming back to rest his feet on the bleachers from your peripheral vision.

"Open your mouth."

"What?"

"Humour me."

"I've humoured you enough tonight."

"Please? Pretty please?"

You rolled your eyes, but opened your mouth. You had no idea what you expected, but it sure as hell was not him stuffing the barrel of his gun in there. You suddenly felt the tequila evaporating from your bloodstream as he slapped your hands away after you tried taking it out, like anyone would. Shit, it hurt. FUCK.

"Just relax.", he whispered, so soothingly that he might as well have been talking you through a panic attack. "There's nothing to be scared of."

Besides the hot gun you've got basically lodged up my throat.

Suddenly, the amount of danger you really were in began to materialize in your head. He was right. It was midnight. It was spring break. It was at high school. No one would think to look for you there.

"Are you scared?"

Oh, God. He was one of those freaks who got off on these things.

You nodded, not really knowing what else to do.

"You think I'll shoot you?"

You shook your head.

"Kill you?"

You shook your head.

"Then why are you scared?"

Honestly, it was the fact that he wasn't going to do either of those things, and decided to shove a gun down your throat simply for shits and giggles.

"You need more tequila."

WHAT?

You frowned, but nodded. Anything to get the gun out of your mouth.

He poured it straight from the bottle into your mouth, watching with sick satisfaction as you swallowed, and you realized that he was psychotically drunk.

"How's that? I do it all the time, y'know? Hot metal plus cold tequila equals the best fucking night ever."

Um, ew. No. But that would be super unwise to say.

"You shove a gun down your throat then take a shot?"

"One of my more dangerous drinking games, yes. God, dude, look at you. Like, you're so fucking uptight, loosen THE FUCK up!"

You were unsure how much 'looser' you could get - you were already going along with his 'dangerous drinking game'.

"I am!"

"Not enough. Not even close. You need more."

"We're all out.", you said, (thankfully) pointing at the empty duffle bag next to him.

"Oh.", he sighed, slumping down next to you and using the duffle bag as a pillow. "Just- I don't get it. What is it about you?"

"That makes you get suicidal?"

He snorted, softly. "That makes me so mad?"

"You're mad?"

"Not like angry-mad. I mean like… crazy-mad. Like I go mad around you."

Five-year-olds could explain things better than him, but, to his credit, he was shitfaced.

"Really? Thought you were born that way."

"I mean, last week? When I kissed you? I don't do that shit. But it was the only way to shut you up. I-ugh. It's you, Y/N. Just fucking up my brain, one game at a time."

"Oh, oh, so you being a psychopath is because I didn't show up to one game?"

"When you're constantly worried about someone needing to be there, you do crazy things. Like cut yourself. I would have done it, too, seriously."

"I know. That's why I came."

"So, we weren't entirely strangers, huh? You knew me a little, at least?"

"Uh, no, we were definitely strangers."

"Now? What are we now?"

"Uh… friends?" You didn't mean that. You wouldn't be his friend if it killed you.

"No, I think I'd know it if we were friends." Phew.

"So, you tell me."

"What? No, you've been in charge this whole time, you tell me."

He just said you'd been in charge.

One offhanded, sweeping statement, and he'd shifted all the blame on you as easy as pie.

How did he do that?

It was obvious what he was referring to: the fact that none of these interactions would have happened if you just hadn't given a shit in the first place.

The fact that every single move of his had been linked to you, in whatever this weird everybody (except you) ante, sketchy poker game he was playing was supposed to be.

And it unnerved you.

Because in some twisted way, it was true.

"Acquaintances."

"But we've kissed.", he reminded, diligently and unwantedly. "Acquaintances - and classmates, before you suggest that - don't just kiss."

"Dude, then what do you want to be?"

Shit. That was what he'd wanted all along. For you to ask in exasperation, to give you his interpretation.

"You know, just… an average relationship between a man and his good luck charm." He inched closer, his hand loosening its grip on the railing as if it was going to do something, but there was no more tequila to reach out for.

There was only you.

And reach, he did.

First, his hands were on your cheek, like they had been a half hour ago. Then, suddenly, they were in your hair, and his tongue was trying to coax your words out of you directly from the source.

And you just let it happen.

If anyone knew why you let it happen, you'd have loved to start a suggestion box.

But you had a funny feeling that the only person who knew why was Nate Jacobs himself.

Fat chance he'd tell you.

491 notes · View notes

harrywavycurly · 7 months ago

Text

Worth The Fight: Swoon Worthy

Masterlist: Here

CW: Language, pregnancy things, minor anxiety, jealousy and per usual a bit of arguing and angsty bits.

A/N: I’m so glad y’all are enjoying this story! It makes me so happy, now don’t be mad okay? It’s gonna be fine just hold on a bit longer I swear Harry is getting it together. Also this chapter is a mix of texts and a one shot yall will have to tell me how you like it?

Tag List: @kookjipao @msolbesg @lomlolivia @namoreno @outofthisworl-d @mema10 @watarmelon212 @natykn @sassamanda77 @st-ev-ie @ghayda0 @hannah9921 @indierockgirrl @chaoticthoughts2022 @lizsogolden @gmikaelson @styleswithaseaview @sofaritsalrightt @babegoals @fangirl509east @one-sweet-gubler @stylesftcher @umadirectioner @last-saturday-night @montgomery-929496 @laughterismytherapy @hisparentsgallerryy

Summary: You meet Anne and have a super tiny casual run in with someone else and Harry says some a lot of things that he shouldn’t✨

You smile at Nick when he opens the door for you and helps you out of the car, you adjust your purse strap on your shoulder as you look around and notice you’re outside the front gate of a house and not a restaurant. You feel your brows pinch together as you reach into your bag to grab your phone so you can call Harry to make sure you’re at the correct place because why would you be meeting his mom for lunch at some random house and not a restaurant? But before you can find your phone the sound of the gate opening up makes you lift your head just in time to see Harry making his way towards you.

“Harry this is someone’s house.” He just laughs as he gives a nod and a wave to Nick who is still standing behind you.

“You’re so observant. Can’t get anything past you huh?” You roll your eyes as Harry runs a hand through his hair. “Come on you’re already late let’s not keep her waiting any longer.” He says with a smirk that you instantly want to smack off his face as he stands to the side allowing you to walk in front of him.

“Is this your-”

“No it’s not my house it’s my mom’s.” He informs you as the two of you walk up the driveway. “As much as I adore my mother I am a bit too grown for her to be crashing in my guest room when she visits and she likes to spend a good amount of time here so this just made the most sense.” He adds as the two of you make it to the bottom step of her porch.

“It’s lovely.” You tell him with a smile as you look at the exterior of the house, Harry watches you look around for a moment before he walks up the three steps to the front door leaving you near the bottom step looking at a rose bush his mother’s has planted in her flower beds.

“Oh I forgot to mention-” Just as you look up from the rose bush you see the front door open behind him and you feel as if everything after that happens in slow motion. You watch Harry turn and smile at the man who walks out of the door, he quickly gives him a hug and you think you hear something about seeing each other soon but you’re not really sure because right after that you find yourself staring into a very familiar pair of blue eyes as the man stands at the top of the steps and is looking down at you with a warm smile.

“Hello.” His accent is thicker in person than it is when you hear it coming from the television in your living room when you, your neighbor and Paris watch The Voice. He gives you a wave as he makes his way down the steps. “You alight love?” He asks with a hint of concern when he notices you haven’t said anything or moved from your spot in front of the rose bush.

“Uhm hi-you’re uh-uhm hi.” You don’t know if what came out of your mouth were actual words or not but either way it earns you a small chuckle as he reaches a hand out and gently places it on your arm.

“Hi. Lovely to meet you.” He says with a smile before he drops his hand from your arm and you find yourself reaching for the spot he just touched as he turns his head to look at Harry over his shoulder.

“See ya H! Text me about a round next week.” And with that he gives you one more glance and a little nod before he makes his way down the driveway towards the gate. You find yourself turning around and watching him leave and it’s as if he can feel your eyes on him because right before he walks through the gate he looks back and gives you another wave and a smile causing a dreamy sounding sigh to escape you as you just stare in the direction that he walked off in.

Harry watches the whole interaction with a clenched jaw and a weird feeling in the pit of his stomach, he’s not sure what it is because never in all the years he’s known his band mate has he ever felt this way while watching him simply meet someone for the first time. He’s watched people practically throw themselves at the man and yet he finds himself more bothered by the way your eyes lit up at and how your cheeks got all pink with just a little greeting and a smile from his Irish friend and he doesn’t like it one bit.

“Do you need a moment?” Harry’s voice snaps you back to reality as you turn and face the front of the house. He has his arms crossed over his chest as he stares down at you with a raised brow.

“That-that was Niall Horan.” Your voice is still a little shaky from the shock of seeing him up close and personal as you point down the driveway towards the gate Niall left through. “He’s so pretty.” You mumble as you look at the spot on your arm that he touched while Harry rolls his eyes and lets out a scoff.

“Really?”

“What? He is.”

“I’m not arguing with you about that I’m just seeing if you’re done swooning over one of my best mates or do you need a few more minutes to wipe the drool off your chin?” You just send him a glare as you make your way up the steps. You know you could’ve handled meeting him a bit better but you weren’t at all prepared and you’re extremely emotional so honestly Harry is lucky you didn’t start crying the moment your eyes met with Niall’s piercing blue ones because they are truly just that pretty in person, the tv doesn’t do them justice at all.

“I wasn’t swooning you don’t even know what that word means.” You state as you make it up the last step and adjust your purse strap making Harry want to let out a groan due to his personal hatred for the black hole you call a purse you lug around everywhere.

“Yes I do it means to swoon.”

“Are you serious? That’s what you think swooning means? To swoon?”

“It doesn’t matter what it means I just know that’s what you were doing with Niall when you got all heart eyes and just stood there with your mouth hung open.”

“My mouth was not hung open don’t be rude.”

“Then-then the sigh when he left? What the hell was that about?”

“It wasn’t a sigh I was just breathing.”

“Oh please I’ve never heard you breathe like that before.”

“That’s because I’ve never swooned over you.” Harry feels his eyes narrow as his hands clench into fits at his sides as you just cross your arms over your chest and stare at him. It’s then that it hits you what’s going on and you feel your brows pinch together as you give Harry a questioning look. “Harry Styles are you jealous of Niall right now?” You watch him shake his head as a deep and almost dark chuckle escapes him.

“Why would I be jealous of Niall? I don’t even really like you enough to be jealous of anyone you find swoon worthy.” Harry regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth, he doesn’t know why he said them because he knows they aren’t true. He does like you, how much and to what extent he’s not quite sure but at least enough to feel a small bubbling of jealousy in the pit of his stomach when he saw you gawking at Niall right in front of him.

“Right. Can we go inside now?” You drop your arms from your chest so you can adjust your purse strap as you look away from Harry and towards the front door. Harry lets out a sigh as he runs a hand over his face, he mentally scolds himself for letting his emotions get the best of him and making him to say things that make you practically deflate right before his eyes.

“I’m so-”

“What exactly have you told her about us?” Harry rubs his lips together when you cut off his attempt at an apology and he knows he’s going to just have to add it to the list of things he has to eventually say sorry for whenever you’re finally ready and willing to hear them.

He opens the door and stands to the side allowing you to go in first and when you give him a small close lipped smile as you walk by he catches your eyes for a brief moment and he feels his chest tighten at how exhausted you look. It’s not the kind of exhausted in the sense you could fall asleep at any moment but the kind that shows you’re just emotionally drained and he knows it’s his fault. His words have managed to take the sparkle and light he saw in your eyes earlier when you arrived and were looking at his mother’s rose bushes, leaving behind only a dull glimmer.

It doesn’t help that he knows you’re putting on a brave face because you’re about to meet his mother, something you repeatedly told him you weren’t ready for and instead of listening and trying to work out a better time he just ignored you because for him it’s almost easier to argue and bicker with you than it is to try to talk and come to reasonable conclusions about things. And the thing is Harry just doesn’t know how to stop himself sometimes before he’s saying something stupid and leaving you to deal with the emotional aftermath. Much like he’s doing now as he watches you swallow down your emotions, readying yourself for the task at hand before you look at him over your shoulder with a quirked brow as you stare at him from his mother’s entryway.

“Harry?” You saying his name brings him back to the moment, he’s quick to walk into the house with a playful smile on his face acting like he didn’t just say something extremely hurtful to you a few moments ago as he takes a few steps so he’s standing next to you.

“Oh you know just that we are madly in love and I’m planning on proposing on your birthday which-that’s not today right? Because I’m not prepared at all I don’t have a ring or anything.” He can tell you’re not in the mood for his jokes by the way you just let out a sigh but before he can say anything you just stand up a bit straighter and turn your head so you can look him right in the eyes and that’s how he knows you’re about to say something that’s going to probably hurt his feelings.

“Don’t bother with a ring. I’d never marry someone I don’t swoon over.” You say it so casually but Harry knows there’s an undertone of seriousness to your words, you wouldn’t marry someone like him is what you’re saying and he can’t blame you because right now he doesn’t even think he likes himself very much let alone thinks he’s anywhere close to being marriage material.

“Yeah you deserve a swoon worthy husband.”

“I know I do.”

“I told her the truth.” Harry says finally really answering your original question as he leads you further into the house. “So she knows everything.” He adds as he looks over his shoulder to make sure you’re following behind him, you pause and give him a wide eyed stare as your hand reaches out and grabs his elbow keeping him from taking another step.

“You told her everything?” You ask in a whispered tone making Harry have to hold back a chuckle as he sees panic begin to set in as the thought of his mother knowing all the details of the two of you’s relationship hits you.

“I mean I might have spared her a few minor details about how we actually made the twins but other than that yeah she-she knows everything.” You let out a sigh as you release his elbow and Harry then does something that shocks the both of you, he places his hand on your lower back and in an almost comforting gesture you feel his thumb rub against the fabric of your shirt as he gently guides you into his mother’s living room. “Just relax. She’s going to love you.” Is the last thing you hear him say and before you can even fully react to it you hear the sound of a sliding door opening.

“Oh my goodness.” Harry grins as his mom walks into the living room from her backyard, he takes a step to the side letting his hand fall from your back so he can give you and his mom some room to say hello. “You are just lovely.” You feel your cheeks get warm as Harry’s mom walks over to you with her hands out. “I’m Anne.” You introduce yourself to her with a smile. “Thank you so much for agreeing to this I’m sorry if you ran into Niall on the way in. He just needed some-”

“Oh yeah we ran into him alright.” You turn your head to send Harry a warning glare as Anne grabs your hands giving them a reassuring squeeze while Harry ignores your threatening looks and heads off towards the kitchen.

“He’s always been a bit dramatic so you’ll have to get used to that I’m afraid.” Anne explains as she watches your eyes linger on the back of Harry’s worn out band t shirt before he disappears into the kitchen.

“So it’s not just me that brings this out of him? That’s good to know because I was beginning to think I had something wrong with me that just made him act a little wacky.” You say with a sigh of relief making her laugh as she lets go of your hands and subtly eyes your outfit, you feel embarrassed for a moment wondering if maybe she’ll think you didn’t find this to be an occasion worth dressing up for but then you see her eyes land on your small bump and a grin takes over her features and you instantly see where Harry gets his smile from.

“Come on love.” She reaches for one of your hands before turning around and heading towards the sliding glass door. “Let me show you what I’ve got for you and let me know if anything sets you off okay? I know how smells can be a bit rough during all this.” Harry stands in the kitchen and watches the two of you make your way outside, his mom places your bag down on a chair by the back door before she escorts you outside to the table he helped her set up before you arrived.

“Harry said you’ve been craving jams on toast so I thought this would be a safe thing to start with and he also said you like carrots?” You can only nod as you stare at the table in front of you that has a few plates full of pieces of toast cut up into cute shapes all with different types of jams spread on top of them while one plate has a mixture of vegetables on it with a dip in the middle.

“I do yes-I like carrots and this is wonderful thank you.” Anne smiles as you take a seat at the table, she sits down in the chair next to you and hands you a plate full of the toast and jam so you can have an easier time reaching it. The two of you snack on some toast and vegetables and talk about your work and how long she’s going to be visiting California before a comfortable silence overtakes the table for a few moments.

“I just want you to know that he told me what he did.” Her voice is gentle not wanting to ruin the mood surrounding the two of you as she looks at you with soft kind eyes, you swallow the lump you feel forming in your throat as your hands fall to your lap. “There’s nothing I can say that will undo that kind of damage but I hope you know that I’m so thankful you’re still letting him be apart of this even after-well after all that.” You look away from her and down at the plate in front of you as you feel your eyes start to get watery.

“I’ll always let him to be apart of this for as long as he wants to be apart of this no matter how I may feel about him.” Anne reaches over and places a hand over yours that are resting on your lap and gives them a soft pat.

“I know he comes across as a bit of a uhm well-a bit of an ass but he does seem to care that he upsets you because he’s never called me quite as distraught as he was that night you didn’t let him inside your apartment.” You simply shrug in response as you lift your head and look at the end of the table where you notice a tea pot and some cups.

“That was a rough not for all of us it seems.” You inform her as you place a hand on your bump as you reach for the tea pot but before you can actually grab it you see a very familiar hand with a cross tattoo between the thumb and index finger grab the handle.

“I can do it.” Harry’s voice is softer than you’ve ever heard it before making you blink up at him as he pours some tea into a cup. “You’re not going to want to watch this next part mom. It’s going to upset you.” He warns as he grabs a jar from next to the pot, Anne just playfully rolls her eyes as she watches her son open the jar and reach for a spoon.

“Is that-”

“Peppermint tea and honey? Yes. Is it killing me to make it for you? Yes but I know you like it and it helps with uh-”

“Nausea.” You finish for him resulting in a small nod and what you think is a hint of a smile as he gently places the teacup in front of you.

“Is that enough honey? I don’t know uhm how-how much you like in your uh tea.” Harry asks all of a sudden feeling very unsure of himself as if it just dawned on him that the amount of honey you take in your tea is just one of the many things he doesn’t know about you. You pick up the teacup and bring it up to your nose and take a sniff and Anne covers her mouth to hide her giggle at the way your nose scrunches up and you very quickly place the cup back down on the table.

“Still smells minty.” You explain as Harry raises a brow at you when you don’t answer his question right away.

“Well yeah it’s peppermint tea.”

“Yeah but I don’t like peppermint tea that’s why I add honey.”

“You-you don’t like peppermint tea?”

“Not really.”

“You’ve been ruining a perfectly respectable tea with honey and you don’t even like it?”

“Perfectly respectable? What kind of tea do you think isn’t respectable?”

“I don’t like lavender tea. Now really why do you drink something you don’t even like? There are so many other nausea remedies you know that right?”

“I’m aware but this one is easy and it tastes fine when I add a lot of honey.” Harry just stares at you as you reach for the jar of honey with the spoon still in it, you hear him let out a huff as he grabs it for you and places another heaping spoonful into your teacup.

“How does this even help with your tummy if it’s just basically honey and hot water?” He asks as he places the honey back near the teapot before he takes a seat in the empty chair next to you.

“Don’t know and I really don’t care because it works so I don’t question it.” Anne sits back in her chair as she watches the two of you go back and forth over the way you prefer your tea and she has to fight back a smile as she notices the way the two of you stare at each other during the whole exchange. Neither of you break eye contact unless it’s when you reach for something but even then Harry is quick to grab it for you, probably not even aware of what he’s doing but subconsciously wanting to do things for you so he has to take advantage of the opportunities when he can, such as spooning extra honey into your teacup while in the middle of a silly argument.

“So love you’re what? Eleven weeks now?” You turn your attention away from Harry to look at Anne who is looking at you with a warm smile. You nod and take a little sip of your tea and smile when it tastes just like it usually does when you make it or maybe a bit better if you’re being honest. “Have you told anyone yet?” She asks and you hear Harry shift in his seat next to you as he rests his hands in his lap and something tells you that if you were to look over your shoulder at him he’d be messing with his rings.

“Uhm not yet I was waiting till I went a little over twelve weeks or so just to be safe.” You explain as you place your teacup back on the table, she just smiles and nods as you reach for a piece of toast with raspberry jam spread all over it. “I also didn’t know how you uh would want to do that? Like announce it.” You look over at Harry as you speak and he lets out a sigh as he runs a hand through his hair while leaning back into the chair.

“I honestly don’t know if I’m going to.” Harry states just as you take a bite out of your toast, he watches your eyebrows furrow as you try to take in what he just told you.

“What do you mean?” You ask once you finish chewing the bite in your mouth.

“I’m going to go check on the cake.” Anne says excusing herself as she stands up from the table, she gives Harry a look that you miss before she walks inside and the moment the sliding door closes Harry lets out a groan and runs both hands over his face as his head rests on the back of his chair.

“We don’t have to talk about this right now.” You roll your eyes at his attempt to change the conversation, but this might as well be discussed now rather than later when you’re even more pregnant and hormonal which just means you’ll be easier to set off on a crying fit.

“Just tell me what you mean by that Harry. You don’t know if you’re going to announce the fact you’re going to be a dad? People will find out eventually you know that right?”

“I don’t know if I want to announce the circumstances in which made me a dad. If I say I’m about to be a dad then they’ll expect an engagement announcement or some photos of me and some hidden girlfriend or something and that’s not the case with us is it?” You feel the lump return to your throat at his harsh tone making the tip of your nose turn pink as you look away from him and down at your lap while you sniffle.

“Once I announce I have a set of twins on the way and they see us together they’ll know very quickly that we are just two people who hooked up one night and ended up here.” Harry adds as he stands up from his seat and gestures to the two of you with his arms, completely ignoring the way you aren’t looking at him and the way your cheeks are now a bit blotchy and your breathing is shaky, all the clear signs that would tell him you’re crying if he would just stop talking and look at you.

“I always thought I’d be having kids with someone that I loved not someone that I just shared a few too many tequila shots with.” His hands are in his hair tugging at his roots as he closes his eyes and tries to take a few deep breathes so he can calm down, not really sure if it’s the topic itself that has made him so upset or if it’s a lingering side effect from his small bout of jealousy earlier and it’s just now rearing its ugly head.

“Harry Edward Styles.” His mom’s voice coming from behind him makes his eyes snap open as he turns around just in time to see you walk around her and through the back door and into the house. He raises a brow as he turns his head to your seat over his shoulder and sure enough it’s empty, he hadn’t even noticed you left the table.

“I uh-I’ll be right back.” Anne just shakes her head as she crosses his arms over her chest and blocks the door from him when he takes a few quick steps towards it.

“No you’ll go sit down and wait for me to get back.” He just nods and lowers his head before he turns around and goes back to his seat at the table. Anne lets out a sad sigh as she turns around and heads inside to find you.

“It’s okay. We aren’t doing this here. Wait till you get home. It’ll be fine.” Anne feels her heart shatter a little as she hears you mumbling to yourself in the entryway, where she finds you with your bag over your shoulder and your phone clutched in your hand while a steady stream of tears make their way down your cheeks.

“I’m so sorry love.” Her voice is like a warm hug engulfing you as she appears in the entryway, you look at her and before you can say anything she is wrapping her arms around your shoulders and pulling you in for a gentle hug. “Do whatever you need to do for yourself okay? I promise he will respect whatever boundaries you need to set.” She reassures you as she gives you a small squeeze while your arms wrap around her to return the hug.

“I’m sorry I didn’t get to stay longer.” You mumble between sniffles as Anne pulls away and she just brushes it off as she places a hand on your shoulder.

“Next time it’ll just be us.” She says with a smile as your phone goes off letting you know your ride is almost there. “Let me know if you need anything okay?” You just nod as she leans in for one more quick hug before she opens the front door for you, she stands there and watches you walk down the driveway and to the gate and she waves when you turn to and look at her before walking through the gate. It’s not until she sees the car you get in the passenger seat of drive off that she turns around and goes back inside.

Harry is chewing on his bottom lip while he waits for his mom to return to the backyard, he keeps replaying the last five minutes over and over in his head and he can’t believe he let himself get so caught up in his little tangent that he didn’t even notice you got up and left the table. He feels horrible because he doesn’t even know why he got so worked up over something so stupid. Because Harry knows he is going to have to tell the world he’s going to be a dad eventually, and he would much rather be the one to do it than to have a photo leaked of him with you leaving Dr. Andrews’s office or out shopping for baby things once the time comes for that. He wants it be something well thought out and personal not some rushed, shot from across the street, horrible angled pap photo that the both of you hate that ends up being how the world finds out about the Styles twins in the making.

His main thing is he just doesn’t want to deal with the questions of who you are because he doesn’t know how to answer them, because who even are you to him right now? Besides the obvious answer being the one doing all the hard work and carrying his children, the one he can’t seem to just have a normal conversation with, but also someone he clearly liked enough to give his actual personal number to and thought was cute enough to ask to have a mid night out romp in the bathroom with. For a moment Harry wishes the two of you could be those people again, the ones who met in that karaoke bar and were just having fun and enjoying each others company, before all the pregnancy chaos happened and he potentially ruined everything. Because something deep inside of him knows that if he just took the time to get to know you and stopped getting in his own way, he’d probably really like you and that kind of terrifies him.

“You are going to ensure that girl has a peaceful and smooth pregnancy from here on out do you understand me young man?” Anne’s stern voice makes Harry sit up straighter and knocks him out of his thoughts as he turns to give her all his attention as she stands at the end of the table with a disappointed look on her face.

“Yes ma’am.”

“You have such a way with words Harry and it’s a blessing as well as a curse because sometimes you just say the most hurtful things.” Harry swallows hard as his mom lets out a sigh and places a hand on her hip.

“I love you and you know I want to support you but I will not allow you to talk to her like that. You need to get your head out of your ass and treat her with a little respect or else you’re going to end up watching your babies be brought into this world over a phone because she won’t want you anywhere near her and that means not being in the delivery room and you’ll never forgive yourself if that’s how it ends up Harry.” He just nods as he feels his eyes begin to burn with unshed tears he can’t seem to blink away at the thought of you being so over him that you don’t even want him in the delivery room, something he would have no choice but to agree to.

“I keep-keep fucking it up.” He admits as he sniffles making Anne take a step over to him so she can place her hands on the tops of his shoulders over the chair. “I don’t know why I just-just keep hurting her.”

“Just give her some time and maybe while you’re doing that you should give your therapist a call?” She suggests as a few tears slip past Harry’s closed eyes as he just nods.

“Okay.” Anne smiles at his agreement and leans down and places a kiss to the top of his head before she gives his shoulders a nice squeeze.

“It’ll be okay Harry you just have to do better starting now.” She tells him before she lets go of his shoulders and heads back inside once again leaving Harry alone at the table in her backyard. He opens his eyes and wipes away the few stray tears that try to make their way down his cheeks, his head turns and his eyes land on your teacup and before he can stop himself he reaches over and grabs it so he can take a sip out of it.

“Still disgusting.” He mumbles to himself as he scrunches his nose while he places it back down on the table before he grabs a piece of toast off your plate. “That’s not bad though.” He says after he takes a bite out of a a piece with your favorite raspberry jam on it.

He sniffles a bit as he leans back in his chair to get comfortable with the toast in one hand and his phone in the other. He lets out a huff as he scrolls through his contacts until he finds his therapists’s number, figuring there no time like the present, ready to put his therapist’s whole “I’m here for you anytime” to the test as he hits the call icon while he takes another bite of your current pregnancy craving. All while trying not to think about what kind of emotional state you’re currently in all due to his irrational and hurtful outbursts because if he’s feeling this horrible and he’s the one who did the talking he can’t imagine how you must be feeling as the one who had to endure the hurtful words.

“So whose house was that?” Ethan, your neighbor who lives directly across from you asks after a few moments of you sniffling and silently wiping your face to try to rid your cheeks of any wetness due to your tears while stopped at a red light.

“Anne’s.” Is all you can manage to say before you feel your bottom lip start to tremble as you look down at your purse in your lap. Ethan just nods as he does his best to not let on to the fact he clearly knows you’re having a breakdown in his passenger seat because he also had to help you into that very same seat because your tears had made everything a little blurry by the time he got to the house to pick you up and you were a half step away from tripping on the curb before he caught your elbow.

“I met Niall Horan.” You mumble as the light turns green and Ethan lets out a chuckle as he lightly shakes his head before making his way down the street.

“How many members of One Direction are you currently seeing?” He jokes and that makes you turn to look at him with a raised brow as you rub your hand under your nose, not bothering to try to be polite and look cute in your current teary eyed and snotty state because Ethan has seen you look much worse.

“None.” You answer as you look down at your lap and place a hand over your bump. “But I did let one of them get me pregnant.” Ethan has to stop himself from accidentally slamming on the brakes as you casually let the information fall from your lips deciding that now is as good a time as any to let your neighbor who is also one of your very good friends know why you’ve been so emotional and a bit cranky lately.

“Please god let it be Zayn.” Ethan half whispers to himself making you reach over with your free hand and playfully swat at his arm with a chuckle making him smile at the sound of your laugh even if it is a bit watery and rough.

“It’s not Zayn.” You say with a playful sadness as Ethan pulls into the parking lot of the apartment complex.

“And obviously it’s not Niall if you just met him today.” You just nod as he pulls into his assigned spot and puts his car into park. You stare out the windshield as he turns to look at you, he lets out a sigh as he reaches over and places a hand on your forearm. “Well if it’s who’s been lurking around our hallway then let’s just hope this baby has your brains.”

“You mean babies.” Ethan’s eyes go a little wide but he’s quick to recover and just nods and lifts a shoulder in a casual shrug at the same time as if what you just said is the most normal thing he’s ever heard come out of your mouth.

“Twins?” You just nod as you look over at him and he gives you a smile that makes you feel like crying all over again but for a totally different reason. “Holy shit that’s-that’s amazing.” The excitement and genuine happiness you can feel practically radiating off of Ethan is the reaction you find yourself wishing Harry would’ve had when he found out instead of the one he gave you that ended with you alone in an exam room.

“You think so?” Ethan just nods as he gives your arm a squeeze. “They are the size of limes right now.” You inform him for no reason other than it’s one of the few facts you have to offer at the moment about the two humans growing in your tummy.

“Limes huh? That’s like my favorite fruit and I’m not just saying that because I’m a bartender.” You playfully roll your eyes at him before he just lets you sit in silence with him for a moment.

“I don’t think he likes me.” You whisper but Ethan is close enough that he hears you and you feel his grip on your arm tighten just slightly making you turn to look him in his green eyes that thankfully aren’t as big and dumb as Harry’s. “Like at all and I actually think he might-he might hate me?”

“Want me to kick his ass? He’s got like six or seven years on me so I’m pretty sure I can take him.”

“You may be younger than him but age has nothing to do with being able to beat someone up.”

“I mean come on he’s Harry Styles how much of a punch can the man pack? Besides I’ll let Paris get him in the ankles and I’ll just deck him in his pretty face and it’ll be easy and over with in a few seconds.” You just stare at him for a minute after he’s done explaining his plan of attack and when he lets out a sigh you know it’s one of defeat as he releases his hold on your forearm and runs a hand through his blonde hair.

“Fine because you’re an amazing neighbor and a good friend I won’t hit him. But I make no promises on being nice to him.” You give him a smile before you begin to unbuckle yourself and get out of the car while he takes the keys out of the ignition.

“Thank you Ethan. For everything.” He just smiles and grabs your purse from you before you can even try to put it over your shoulder and slings it over his as the two of you head inside the lobby of the complex.

“You’re welcome.” You lean into him as he tosses his arm over your shoulder while the two of you wait for the elevator. “I know you’re the one who usually drops the older sister advice on me but I just want to say that if he’s gonna act like a douchebag and make you upset like this all the time then fuck him. You don’t need him. You’ll be okay because I’ll make sure of it.” You know he means every word because Ethan isn’t one to just tell you something like this unless he feels he needs to. The two of you step into the elevator and press the number five before you decide to say anything in response.

“So the younger brother wisdom has finally hit you huh? I was wondering when that would happen. Only took two years of living across the hall from each other.” He laughs as he pulls you closer to his side making you smile. “I do appreciate the advice.”

“I just love and respect you too much to see you put up with bullshit from someone who has a god awful naked mermaid on his forearm.” You give Ethan’s chest a smack as the doors open and he lets you walk out first leading the way to your door. “Also you know old lady Sherry is going to fucking freak when she hears her favorite cat lady is having twins.” Ethan adds as the two of you walk by Sherry’s door and you laugh and nod because she does refer to you as a cat lady because she thinks at your age you should be married with babies not living alone with Paris.

“She’s not an old lady Ethan she’s not even in her sixties yet.” You correct him but he just rolls his eyes and brushes you off as the two of you walk up to your doors. You turn to him as he is digging through your bag that’s still over his shoulder, no doubt looking for your keys.

“I’m in my early twenties so I’m sorry everyone over fifty is old.” He teases as he fishes your keys out and hands them to you before he slides your purse off his shoulder and gently places the strap on top of yours making sure it doesn’t fall off. “So tell me what was he-”

“So much prettier in person.” You answer already knowing who he’s referring to and he laughs at how soft your voice goes as the memory of your brief encounter with Niall runs through your head. “The television doesn’t do him justice at all.” You explain since Ethan is the one you watch The Voice with sometimes along with Paris.

“But he looks so pretty on the screen already? How can he possibly be prettier in real life?” He asks with a quirked brow and you just shrug causing the strap of your purse to fall down into the crook of your elbow.

“Well I’m glad something good happened to you today.” You smile as he leans in and wraps his arms around you in a hug.

“Love you Ethan.” He smiles as he pulls away and you turn to unlock your front door.

“Love you too and please tell your little ankle biting boy that I said hello.” You laugh and just nod as you open your door, you turn around to close it and give Ethan a wave as you watch him walk into his own apartment and he waves back before closing his door.

You let out a heavy sigh as you lock the door and drop your bag at your feet. You hear the sound of a bell jingling and soon Paris is purring at your ankles as he rubs his head along your shins making you smile as you bend over and pick him up.

“Uncle Ethan says hello.” Paris just purrs in response as he nuzzles his head against your cheek as you make your way into the living room. “Oh Paris do I have some news for you.” You say with a sigh as you take a seat on your couch and get comfortable with your feet propped up on the coffee table. Paris moves so he’s resting in your lap with his head against your small bump and you bite your bottom lip as you get ready to spill all the events that happened during the few hours you were gone to him, and you’re thankful he isn’t looking at you because you’re not quite sure you could handle looking into his eyes right now since they remind you too much of the big dumb green ones that belong to the man that made you cry just half an hour ago.

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