#is the amazon snake cat real?

[fgethearies]

This is my daughter - she is the best best baby

[fawnuh]

New open species just dropped!

I'll add more info and lore when I get around to it

Feel free to make your own and tag me! @fawnuh

[voidbirds]

"Laugh, Kookaburra, laugh, Kookaburra, Gay your life must be!"

Kookaburra are one of the most commonly heard birds of the outback so it's super funny when television shows and movies use their distinctive call for the Amazon or other non-Australian rain forests.

The Kookaburra is the largest bird in the family of Kingfishers. As their name suggests, some are quite famous for catching fish with surprising grace. While I'm sure a Kookaburra would snack on some fish, they typically are feasting on snakes, lizards, frogs and... sausages. Yep. A real problem happening is that Kookaburras are becoming too fat from stolen and gifted sausages, making it difficult for them to fly and easy prey for invasive dogs and cats.

Protect your sausages and your local kookaburras from sausages.

[wuxiaphoenix]

Worldbuilding: Water Features

Lakes, ponds, seeps, springs; they’re not just for pretty postcards. They make excellent visuals for your story, of course; just the mention of lake, and your readers will be transported to a memory of their own dealings with large bodies of water. It’s useful sensory shorthand. It also gives elements to your setting that characters can turn to their advantage.

Consider, for example, a water garden. It doesn’t have to be huge; you can get some nice results with a pot oh, about the size of a large metal trashcan. (Don’t use metal, though. Ceramic, plastic - something that won’t leach into the water.)

In this large pot you want to build up ledges or stands you can put other much smaller pots on. Different water and wetland plants like their roots at different depths, so plant them in the tiny pots and put each on the right depth of ledge. Do it well, and you can get in not just floating plants like duckweed and elodea, but water lilies, duck potato, arrowhead, iris, arums, pitcher plants, bladderworts, and maybe even cattails. Almost all of these have pretty blooms, and many are edible. (Yes, duckweed is edible.)

Where you have water, earth, and plants, you’ll have critters. Wriggly things, whirligig beetles, diving beetles... and, yes, mosquito larvae. Though a pot this size is also good for hosting a fair school of mosquitofish, and if you have real luck you’ll end up with a water tiger or three. (Who will also happily keep your mosquitofish from over-populating.)

All of these are potentially food for something, along with the pot itself being a water source. Meaning if your character has been isekai’d, kidnapped, or woken up with amnesia and has no clue what’s around, he could do worse than to spend the day (and night) hanging out and watching what comes to the water. A short list of critters that might show up even in an urban backyard includes bees, wasps, birds, cats, raccoons, snakes, frogs of all kinds... bears....

And most importantly, people. Kids in particular gravitate to water features like iron filings to a magnet. Observe the kids - observe if there are any kids - and your lost character will have a lot more information to judge if it’s safe to come out.

Also if you’re looking for a monster, unless it’s undead or inanimate, it probably needs water too. And wet dirt may give you a better chance of finding tracks, even for something that flies.

A little water garden doesn’t have to take up much space to be a useful, practical, and lovely addition to your setting. And if it’s a bigger water garden... well, a chase through the lily-pads down a mini-Amazon is not impossible. Caimans, jaguars and giant river otters at the writer’s discretion!

[time-is-standing]

top 10 songs of december

- aka a real Wilbur-heavy month. stay with me for the last one of the year. happy new year btw.

1. Prada - Acoustic Version by cassö, RAYE, D-Block Europe

I found this version on tiktok and somehow fell in love with the whole vibe of the song. I had a few months, when I could afford the big brands and went looking after special perfumes, shoes, even was into looking for balenciaga hoodies etc. but I soon realized saving up money would be more beneficial for the future. it was fun while it lasted though. I'm happy I could afford these things and felt so special for a while.

2. Mine / Yours by Wilbur Soot

the new Wilbur album?? it was such a great suprise! I LOVE every single song on there and I'm listening every day & night to them. this was the absolute fav as you can see, such a vibe! love the bittersweetness of the album.

3. Eulogy by Wilbur Soot

this is a close 2nd fav from the album's tracklist. I actually have strong feelings about this whole album from the minute I first listened. I firmly believe even if not whole songs, but lines are about technoblade. it hurts me deeply to this day, but I can sense so much grief and heavy emotions in these songs (this one specifically).

4. Breathe Me by Sia

a sadder song for the month. I'm always going through it around christmas. I was alone upstairs one night after having spiraling thoughts but I started thinking: actually nevermind, if I have someone that could help me get out of this bullshit, I'm going for it. I knew my bf was playing with friends so I planned on sitting beside him, but as I arrived and he noticed how bad it was, they invited me into the game and had so so much fun that night. I'm real thankful for them but mostly him.

5. Amazon Standing Lamp by Wilbur Soot

this song... I have a strong love-hate relationship with it. I love-love-love the message, the sad undertones, the whole mood of the song, but I just can't seem to be able to stomach the vague helf sentences about their sex life. I just froze when I realized the meaning behind thise words and have been stuck there ever since.

6. Harag by Anchorless Bodies

one hungarian fav. I have issues with dealing with anger and this song somehow connects to me on such a higher level. it's all about anger, it has a distinct atmoshpere that I love when it comes to dealing with my never ending rage.

7. Si No Estás by iñigo quintero

I have a soft spot for this song. I don't even know the meaning of all the words, but it has a charming, calm vibe to it, that I love. I don't know how it happened, but I fell in love when I first listened to it months ago, and it stayed with me.

8. Youngblood by 5 Seconds of Summer

a bit of 5sos never hurts. I was having trouble finding new music that I liked, so I went back to the only artists I never get disappointed by: 5sos, bmth and this month still a bit of loic nottet. I'm trying to deal with these workplace struggles, but no matter how far I move, I never seem to be able to outrun depression and the way I always tend to stay sad for longer periods of time.

9. Dropshipped Cat Shirt by Wilbur Soot

I don't remember listening to this song as much, but it seems like I was enjoying the whole album a bit more than it seemed. I don't think I can understand this song, but I'm totally sure the ending is the most dramatic change I've ever heard in music. must be because I'm so invested in tecno, but I still remember the first time I've heard those last lines.

10. Deathbeds by Bring Me The Horizon

I love this song and And The Snakes Start To Sing so fucking much. somehow these are my all time fav bmth songs and I can be listening to them any time, they always get me. actually I went to the bmth concert earlier this year and it was so fun but I'm still quite sad that they never played too much of the older songs - as a hardcore fan from 2014.

[laresearchette]

Saturday, September 28, 2024 Canadian TV Listings (Times Eastern)

WHERE CAN I FIND THOSE PREMIERES?: THE REAL WEST (W Network) 8:00pm SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE (Global) 11:30pm UZUMAKI (adult swim) 12:30am

NEW TO AMAZON PRIME CANADA/CBC GEM/CRAVE TV/DISNEY + STAR/NETFLIX CANADA:

AMAZON PRIME CANADA NWSL: ANGEL CITY FC V WASHINGTON SPIRIT

CRAVE TV MAYA THE BEE (Season 1) THE THREE MUSKETEERS: MILADY

DISNEY + STAR THE JUDGE FROM HELL (two-episode premiere)

2024 PRESIDENT’S CUP (TSN) 7:00am: Day Three

MLB BASEBALL (SN1) 1:00pm: Pirates vs. Yankees (SN) 2:30pm: Marlins vs. Jays (SN Now) 8:00pm: Dodgers vs. Rockies (SN1) 9:30pm: A’s vs. Mariners

NWSL SOCCER (TSN3) 1:00pm: Kansas City Current vs. NJ/NY Gotham

POINTSBET INVITATIONAL CURLING (TSN4) 3:00pm: Final 4

NHL HOCKEY (SN/SN360) 6:00pm: Ducks vs. Kings (TSN2/TSN4) 7:00pm: Leafs vs. Habs

CFL FOOTBALL (TSN/TSN5) 7:00pm: Alouettes vs. Argos

THE GARFIELD MOVIE (Crave) 7:15pm: Garfield, the Monday-hating, lasagna-loving indoor cat, finds himself on a wild outdoor adventure when his long-lost father draws him into a high-stakes heist.

SHORT FILM FACE OFF (CBC) 8:00pm: Amanda Parris presents Canadian directors sharing their films and vying for a cash award; "My Digital Boyfriend," "100 Days," "Smokebreak."

THE LOVE GALA (Super Channel Heart & Home) 8:00pm: When Kate is given the job of planning her mom's Garden Gala, the biggest fashion event of the year, she has to compromise with the unhelpful head of the Botanical Garden.

SNAKES SOS: GOA'S WILDEST (Nat Geo Wild) 9:00pm/9:30pm (SERIES PREMIERE): Wildlife activists Benhail Antao and Louise Remedios discover an Indian spectacled cobra stuck in a well. Ben descends the well using a winch installed in his SUV to rescue it. In Episode Two, Benhail and Louise receive a distress call that a snake has bitten two pet dogs. They rush to the scene and find out that the culprit is an enormous Indian spectacled cobra.

BEING THE RICARDOS (Crave) 9:00pm: In 1952, Hollywood power couple Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz face a series of personal and professional crises that threaten their careers, their relationship and their hit TV show.

STARS FELL AGAIN (Super Channel Fuse) 9:00pm: Hollywood agent Bryce Dixon is ready to propose to Madison during their Christmastime visit to her family in rural Oregon. However, the spontaneous engagement and wedding of Madison's sister throws Bryce's perfect plan into a tailspin.

FIRST TIME FEMALE DIRECTOR (CTV Life) 10:00pm: A writer steps in as a first-time director to avoid putting the play she's written in jeopardy. Barely surviving rehearsals, Sam vents to her therapist and tries some unconventional tactics to wrangle her eclectic cast and make her play a success.

MLS SOCCER (TSN) 10:30pm: Vancouver vs. Portland

WTA 1000 TENNIS (TSN5) 11:00pm: Beijing - Early Round Coverage Day #4

LOGAN (CTV) 12:30am: In the near future, a weary Logan (Hugh Jackman) cares for an ailing Professor X (Patrick Stewart) while protecting a young mutant girl (Dafne Keen) from the dark forces that want to capture her.

[feotakahari]

What Arknights thinks you are, based on where you come from

Arknights doesn't usually have real-world races, but it has obvious counterparts to real-world nationalities. Sometimes painfully obvious.

If the only example of a species makes sense for its region, I count it. If the only example makes no sense, like an Indian Grey Moongoose from the Russia equivalent or a Feathered Serpent in the U.S., I don't count it. Them's the breaks.

Anywhere: Bird, Rat, Snake, Lizard, Tiger

U.S.A: Fox, Otter, Robot

South America (Not Indigenous): Dog

Amazon (Indigenous): Crocodile

Britain or France or Scotland: Cat, Lion, Wyvern, Western Dragon, Unicorn

Poland: Horse, Pegasus

Spain or Seasteader: A very wide variety of sea creatures

Basque Country: Dwarf

Germany: Goat, European Fallow Deer, Wolf if you happen to be a Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart reference.

Italy (Mafia): Wolf, sometimes Fox

Italy (Catholic) or Switzerland: Angel

Tibet or Norway or also Switzerland: Yak, Musk Deer, Snow Leopard, Jormungandr

Greece: Cow

Eastern Europe (Jewish): Demon, Goliath. (Yes, this gets offensive sometimes)

Eastern Europe (kinda Jewish, but kinda doing their own thing): Lots of different "monsters" like Vampire or Gargoyle.

Somewhere in Africa or the Middle East, all squashed together: Camel, Zebra, Hyena, Frog, Rhino, Manticore, a couple of cat breeds.

Russia: Bear

China: Panda, Gaur, Yangtze Finless Porpoise, almost anything from Buddhist or Chinese mythology

Japan: Oni, Shiba Inu, Kitsune, Nue, Kamaitachi

Either China or Japan: Sika Deer.

Mongolia: Nightmare (technically, these are also squished into the Africa/Middle East hybrid)

Australia: Rabbit

Anywhere cold and northern that's stereotypically "primitive" or "Native": Deer, Arctic Fox, Norwegian Forest Cat, supposedly Cyclops but seems more like Norn

I don't even know: Yithian

[seewetter]

Mythic Creatures by Culture & Region

Part 2: Settler (Colonial) & Diasporic Tales of Australia & the Americas

Overview here.

• Australian Settler Folktales Drop Bear; Easter Bilby; Oozlum Bird (oozlum bird also in Britain)

Canadian Settler Folktales

Cadborosaurus B.C.; Cressie; Igopogo Barrie; Manipogo; Memphre; Mussie; Red Lady; Thetis Lake Monster; Turtle Lake Monster

USAmerican Settler folktales including African diaspora

Agropelter, Maine & Ohio; Alfred Bulltop Stormalong Massachussets; Altamaha-ha in Georgia, U.S.A, see Muskogee; Anansi is Akan (which includes the Agona, Akuapem, Akwamu, Akyem, Anyi, Ashanti, Baoulé, Bono, Chakosi, Fante, Kwahu, Sefwi, Wassa, Ahanta, and Nzema) also found in African American lore; Red Ghost (Arizona camel with skeleton on its back); Augerino western USA, including Colorado; Axehandle hound Minnesota and Wisconsin; Ball-tailed cat; Beaman Monster; Bear Lake Monster; Beast of Bladenboro; Beast of Busco; Bell Witch; Belled buzzard American South; Bessie northeast Ohio and Michigan; Bigfoot; Black Dog; Blafard; Bloody Bones; Bloody Mary; Boo hag; Br'er Rabbit; Brown Mountain Lights; Cactus cat American Southwest; Calafia Amazon Queen (Caliph) that California is named after; Champ; Chessie; Dark Watchers; Demon Cat Washington D.C.; Dewey Lake Monster; Dover Demon; Dungavenhooter Maine, Michigan; Emperor Norton; Enfield Monster (NOT Enfield); Flathead Lake Monster; Flatwoods Monster; Flying Africans; Fouke Monster Arkansas; Fur-bearing trout; Gallinipper; Gillygaloo; Glawackus; Gloucester sea serpent; Golden Bear; Goofus Bird; Gumberoo; Hidebehind; Hillbilly Beast of Kentucky; Hodag; Honey Island Swamp Monster; Hoop Snake; Hudson River Monster; Hugag; Jackalope; Jersey Devil; Joint Snake; Jonathan Moulton; Lady Featherflight; Lagahoo; Lake Worth Monster; Lava bear Oregon, appear to have been real animals but not a unique species; Letiche (Cajun folktale, from descendants of the Acadian expulsion) Lizard Man of Scape Ore Swamp; Loveland Frog; Ludwig the Bloodsucker; Mãe-do-Ouro; Mami Wata also African; Maryland Goatman; Melon-heads; Michigan Dogman; Milton lizard; Mogollon Monster; Momo the Monster; Mothman; Nain Rouge Detroit, Michigan; New Jersey folktales; North Shore Monster; Onza; Ozark Howler; Pope Lick Monster; Proctor Valley Monster; Railroad Bill; Red Ghost; Red Lady; Reptilian; Resurrection Mary; Sharlie; Sidehill Gouger; Signifying monkey; Skunk Ape; Snallygaster; Snipe Hunt; Snow Snake; Splintercat; Squonk; Tahoe Tessie; Tailypo; Teakettler; The Witch of Saratoga; Tuttle Bottoms Monster; Two-Toed Tom; Walgren Lake Monster; Wampus Cat; White River Monster; Wild Man of the Navidad

Latin American Folklore

Aido Hwedo, Haiti & also in Benin; Alebrije (born from a dream, Mexican paper mache folk art); Baccoo could be based off Abiku of Yoruba lore; Bestial Beast bestial centaur; Boiuna; Boto and Boto_and_Dolphin_Spirits; Bruja; Bumba Meu Boi; Burrokeet; Cadejo; Camahueto; Capelobo; Carbuncle; Carranco; Chasca El Salvador; Chickcharney; Ciguapa Dominica; Cipitio; Damballa; Day of the Dead; Death; Douen; Duende; Duppy; El Sombrerón Guatemala; Folktales of Mexico; Headless Mule; Hombre Gato; Honduran Creatures; Huay Chivo; Ibo loa (also Igbo in West Africa); Jumbee; Kasogonagá (Toba in Argentina); La Bolefuego; La Diablesse; La Llorona; La mula herrada; La Sayona; Lang Bobi Suzi; Madre de aguas; Mama D'Leau; Minhocão; Mono Grande; Monster of Lake Fagua; Monster of Lake Tota; Muan; Muelona; Nahuelito; Obia also a word for a West African mythological creature (see article); Papa Bois; Patagon aka Patagonian Giant; Patasola; Phantome (Trinidad, Tobago, Guyana); Pishtaco; Princess Eréndira; Quimbanda; Romãozinho; Saci; Sayona ; Sihuanaba; Sisimoto; Soucouyant; Succarath; Tapire-iauara; Tata Duende; The Cu Bird; The Silbón; Tulevieja; Tunda; Zombie Bolivia; Abchanchu; Acalica; El Tío Colombia; Colombian Creatures; El Hombre Caimán; Tunda

Please note that some of these beings (those from Latin America or from diasporic African religions like Santeria, Vodun and Candomble) are sacred and be responsible about their use in art (writing etc.).

Notify me of any mistakes or to add disclaimers when something is considered sacred and off-limits.

[runningwithgrace-forlife]

Picture gone viral – Real or Fake?

Assignment for week of 9/13 -- Picture gone viral – Real or Fake??

Picture of snake cat goes viral. This is posted in the New York Post. https://nypost.com/2023/03/15/amazon-snake-cat-photo-goes-viral-and-mystifies-internet/

I did a google reverse search. I found an article on Daily Mail.com that claims this is in fact fake. While Daily Mail.com does not always prove to be a reliable source when it comes to science, I think they got it right here. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-11886553/Prankster-reveals-MailOnline-AI-generated-image-snake-cat-viral.html. Here, the tweeter is Jeff_kamara2.

Daily Mail.com reveals the originator is a Russian Facebook user called Alex Vasilev and he confirmed it is in fact fake and used AI to create it.

"Well, it turns out it is very fake, as confirmed by the creator of the original post, a Russian Facebook user called Alex Vasilev."

"However, I did some more digging and found a story by 10news.com stating the following:

"An image that has gone viral on social media claims to show the rarest feline species on Earth called the Serpens Catus or "snake cat."

It features a black and yellow pattern similar to a snake.

The post claims the cat lives in difficult to access regions of the Amazon Rain Forest.

But the whole thing is fiction.

The Serpens Catus does not exist in the federal database of species names.

An expert from Drexel University tells the website Snopes the cat is not real and there is no South American feline that looks anything like the cat in the photo.:

It was claimed that this is a “Serpens Catus” … claiming it was a feline with black and neon-yellow stripes.

“Serpens catus is the rarest species of feline on Earth. These Animals live in hard-to-reach regions of the Amazon rainforest, and therefore they are relatively poorly studied,” a Twitter user claimed. “The first images capturing the snake cat appeared only in the 2020. Weighs up the 4 stone [56 pounds].”

Here, the tweeter is Jeff_kamara2.

Daily Mail.com reveals the originator is a Russian Facebook user called Alex Vasilev and he confirmed it is in fact fake and used AI to create it.

Well, it turns out it is very fake, as confirmed by the creator of the original post, a Russian Facebook user called Alex Vasilev (pictured)

The picture appears to be fake.

Anyone wishing to see the original post, click link below:

https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=6100440760017795&set=gm.759558622422249&idorvanity=691515655893213&paipv=0&eav=Afb_2MN2Rq2uv7g6hgiUhqcys20me9GCPBw76QSjJn5j4sqy7zdgPY0ldU0d9xRh2-Q&_rdr

[petnews2day]

Is Serpens Catus, the 'Amazon Snake Cat' real?

New Post has been published on https://petn.ws/mXozb

Is Serpens Catus, the 'Amazon Snake Cat' real?

A viral picture of a cat, which is apparently called Serpens Catus or the ‘Amazon Snake Cat’ has gone viral on both TIkTok and Twitter leading many people to question whether the creature is real. The image in question features a picture of what appears to be a regular household cat, complete with a yellow […]

See full article at https://petn.ws/mXozb #CatsNews

[wixelt]

It just occurred to me that you've implied Scar is going to be on Earth following the split,and I cannot help but picture this man hearing Anne making one too many cynical jokes about tech billionaires and global warming and decide to go full adventure capitalist snake oil salesman. Partner him with a tech savy hermit (I think it would be funny if it were Zed but it cannot be Cub since they would be too powerful) and suddenly the speed at which he would amass capitol while fixing this world's problems to then spit out towards fixing this world's problems would be exponential. What's anyone from our world going to dodge to stop him? He operates on toon logic and has Jellie. With him lined up as the protagonist in this scenario, he will survive any and all assassination attempts through sheer force of slapstick and supernatural cat shaped entity.

Scar & Zed are a dangerous combo. They've only been on Earth for a month or two, but Anne's gripes with do-nothing rich people have pushed them to "fix" things.

Between them, they can & will sell anything & everything, & you will buy it, even if you don't understand why you need the world's most efficient but oversized holepunch.

Not needing any income after amenities & resources, the amount of green they have between them's disgustingly large. With how quickly they've accrued it, it'd almost appear criminal were the books entirely in order & above board.

And all of it goes back toward noble causes, or buying problem companies out from under their owners' feet to reorganize them.

Or buying plane tickets out to places like Brazil where a week later like 90% of the logging equipment disintegrates & the Amazon starts growing back at record speeds. A week later, designs for easily renewable wood, paper & food sources are made open source anonymously.

It's a disturbing cycle of no strings attached benevolence. Like some weird, real-life inversion of something like Cookie Clicker.

Somehow, & Anne will never know how despite her awe making her pay attention to everything, the two Hermits keep a low profile. The faces behind these new initiatives remain entirely anonymous.

Well, almost entirely.

Mr. X's desire to arrest these unseen "aliens" & interrogate them grows by the day, but his superiors keep shooting him down because they "want to see how this pans out".

It won't be long before attempts to capture or eliminate begin, though, & with them X's growing frustration just how slippery & illogical this guy & his cat inexplicably are.

[lowestechelonabomination]

🌻

my full legal name is Bartholomew McRichardson IV, I am 57 years old, I live in West Dakota, I'm the secret real CEO of McDonalds but I run also few gigs on the side as a snake oil salesman, professional sigma male dating coach, and the head of the very legitimate church you can find in your sewers, and my favorite food is canned baked beans mixed with mayonnaise and stale cat litter. I am also singlehandedly responsible for the deforestation of the Amazon rainforest as I love hearing the pained shrieks of species going extinct in flames <3

[muffinlance]

Proof copy is here! <3

[id: Various photographs of Li's Friends: Horrible Pets to Protect You From the Horrible World, a coloring book/bestiary created by this wonderful community that we'll be selling for charity.

Cover has a matte finish, and depicts the winning colored image of the Sweetwater Anglerfish, a swan-anglerfish hybrid here colored quite ominously. Inside, the pages are two-page spreads with animal info on the left and a full page picture of the animal on the right. Dedication page and the first page of artist bios also shown. The text really isn't meant to be read, these are just "this is what it looks like" photographs.

Animals shown include a death's head hawkmoth weasel caterpillar, polar bear geese, shrike degu, tarantula bat, tiger tiger snake, jellyfish whales, golden secretary cat, and Sushi.

End id.]

Gonna go through this and check for last-minute text edits and any image quality issues.

Also, does anyone know how to set up pre-orders on Amazon? Because online guides tell me there should be an option near the release date, but there is not that I can see. I am probably missing something obvious.

Oh well, not like it isn't going live for real sales as soon as I do this last typo sweep. Official launch soon! <3

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP meme from "Jungle 2 Jungle"

Hey, bonehead, moron!

Keep your pencil to yourself!

Get out of my way.

You call that a hunch?

I call that an opportunity.

You're not still leaving, after what you did in there?

You give me that same patronizing little speech every time you play one of your stupid hunches.

I am outrageously pleased to meet with you.

He who knows what a woman wants, knows everything, but not even God knows that.

You look different.

I have a boat waiting.

I don't want any money.

Hey, stop! You can't leave me here!

What you're doing is very unprofessional!

Come back here!

I'm gonna need all these clothes back, right where they came from, all right?

Bring on the bachelors.

There's something that you don't know.

I figured you'd be happier that way.

You thought this would make me happy?

How long before you noticed I was gone?

Why didn't you talk to me?

Excuse me. The real world calls.

Look, I was right. I was right!

Coffee has gone crazy.

I realized that I had lost you somehow.

God, it's good to be good!

This is nuts. This is nuts.

This is unbelievable.

This is unforgivable!

It's a territorial thing.

No! Don't touch that!

You wouldn't happen to have a place where I could stick that, would you?

Talk about your wind instruments.

I gotta admit, this isn't easy for me.

I don't have any regrets.

Well, I have regrets.

Maybe I can teach him about commodities.

Baboon! Baboon!

Parasite.

Cut, infection, death !

So, you understood everything I said last night.

These shoes cost me $500.

Scared of snake?

I do not eat snake.

I have a whole 'nother life where I live.

I'm a trader. That's what I do, okay?

Don't move! There's a giant spider on you!

I don't want to hurt you, but I will.

I will crush you like---a bug!

This place is a nightmare!

The hair on your chest reminds them of a monkey.

Here, if you make a promise, you keep it.

Get on. It's just a moving sidewalk.

You do have a reason, right?

Oh, God, I'm dead !

Where are all the animals?

Just wait it out. Something will happen.

You can't always depend on a natural disaster.

We can hope for an assassination.

Behave yourselves here!

Something better happen fast, or I'm gonna throw your butts out the window!

What do you hotshots think about when you make these deals?

I'll shout, I'll yell, I'll scream as much as I want.

Look up! It's an alien circle with Mickey Rourke's picture in it.

Catch the damn spider, will you, please?

Wow! Nice shot!

I missed you. You never called me.

Just act natural.

So, did you miss me, darling?

There's a Fashion Channel?

So, what did you bring me?

You brought back a child.

This is my female.

Is there anything special you like to eat?

Great earrings.

Before you pee, you lift the seat. After you pee, you put the seat back down.

I'm gonna die up here.

Don't you ever, ever, ever do that to me again!

When I tell you to do something, I mean it. Do you understand me?

I was just worried about you out there. I really was. All right?

When I saw the shoulders on this gown, I plotzed.

A little champagne?

What is taking so long with the food?

I don't eat meat, I don't eat dairy or nightshade vegetables, and, of course, I don't touch preservatives.

We eat cat.

We are not going to eat the cat.

You had no right to change the rules.

Are you saying that I knew that I had a child?

Well, if I had a child, I certainly would have known.

So now you're saying that you having a child is my fault?

This is cereal. It's just corn, brown sugar, yellow #5 and zinc oxide? They've added a sunblock to it.

I'd like to be around you, but, but I'm obligated to go.

You won't shoot any more animals?

You're probably in the bathroom, making yourself look beautiful.

You can never have enough pictures of your kids.

On top of everything else, didn't I tell you to wait in the apartment?

I've got a life here. I can't change everything just because you showed up.

Get out of the street! Come on!

This is a dangerous jungle.

No, you're not a man.

You are an adolescent.

You are free to do whatever you want.

There are no guarantees.

This is speculation.

When can we expect payment?

Now we're laundering money for the Russian Mafia?

You cannot walk away on this, please.

Tastes like lizard guts.

I haven't danced like that since I was a little kid.

I've been in this bathroom for hours!

Stay away from the door!

I'm gonna put it in the wastebasket.

It's still moving.

Put the thing back in its box.

It's as big as an ox!

A cat is a pet!

How do you know it hasn't already laid eggs in the apartment?

What if they miss one and it crawls into my ear while I'm sleeping and lays its eggs in my brain?

This is serious! We have to move!

You're blowing this out of proportion.

Look, if something dramatic has happened, it should be on film.

I look at something and see what it can be and who can wear it.

She doesn't like me.

It's not you at all. It's me.

Well, when you pick one to love, it's very different.

lt's a poecilia latipinna. They're from the Amazon.

You're walking around New York City with a million dollars in a suitcase?

Don't tell me. You're leaving.

You are the most important thing in the world to me, except for this other thing I gotta do now.

This better be an emergency.

Try everything once, I always say.

We'll manage to survive this, okay?

Beluga. Best caviar in whole world.

Believe me, shrewdness is not in the picture.

I told you. Time heals everything.

And this is supposed to be a bribe?

Now where is this champagne?

You're so feisty today.

What do you say we take the champagne and drink it in the bedroom?

I think what we have here is an intercultural misunderstanding.

You just downed $10,000 worth of sushi.

You started a wildfire in my yard.

Maybe you're overreacting?

I still don't understand the problem.

You have nothing to be upset about.

That's a pain that's here to stay.

Screaming's no way to deal with a child.

I'm a parent, therefore, I'm an idiot.

Anybody can land on their feet.

Don't make me lose temper.

Don't move! The spider could kill you.

Oh, that's gotta hurt.

I'm starting to really like that spider.

I have many enemies but none like that spider.

What do you say you and I get the hell outta here?

You know my back affects my work.

Money is honey.

Boys, we're gonna clean up.

Now that's a very big bug.

You're a professional.

[possiblyawesometmblr]

Unus Annus: A Complete Ranked List

well, now that every single video has been released, i’ve compiled them all into a complete ranked list, from best video to worst! this took way longer than it had any right to.  (also, please note this is just my opinion, and in all honesty, this list was really hard because so many of these videos are fantastic. you could tell me that you’d rearrange anything in the 50-250 range and i’d probably agree with you.) 

And if you don’t feel like going through the whole list, here’s Unus Annus ranked by month!

If the video is in: Top 50: 5 points 51 - 100: 4 points 101 - 150: 3 points 151 - 200: 2 points 201 - 250: 1 point 251 - 300: 0 points 300 or below: -1 point (Any ties settled by which month had the highest ranking video overall.)

November: 93 October: 72 December:70 September: 66 February: 66 August: 63 June: 60 January: 59 July: 53 May: 43 March: 37 April: 1

The Truth of Unus Annus (Oct. 31st)

Ethan Finally Becomes a MAN (Jan. 10th)

Phasmophobia in Real Life (Oct. 25th)

Mark and Ethan Attempt an Escape Room (Dec. 6th)

Hunting HeeHoo (Aug. 29th)

DIY Geriatric Simulator (Jan. 18th)

Recreating Every Single Unus Annus Video (Nov. 4th)

Mark Teaches Ethan to Read with Hooked On Phonics (Jun 6th)

Ethan Gives Mark a Viking Funeral (Dec. 9th)

Cooking with Sex Toys (Nov. 15th)

Mark Reviews the Impossible Burger But There’s a Looming Sense of Impending Doom (Dec. 13th)

Helium Therapy (Nov. 29th)

2 Truths and 1 Lie -- Waxing Edition (Nov. 26th)

Ethan Will Be Kicked in the Balls (Nov. 22nd)

Being Brutally Honest With Each Other (Nov. 3rd)

Would Chica Save Us From Drowning? (Jul. 24th)

Mark and Ethan are Now Fathers (Mar. 22)

Ethan Kidnapped Mark (Oct. 30th)

Mark’s Outdoor Escape Room (Aug. 28th)

The Unus Annus Last Supper (Nov. 2nd)

Mark and Ethan Go Casket Shopping (Jan. 11th)

The Sensory Overload Tank (Jan. 7th)

Mark and Ethan Summon a Ghost (Nov. 25th)

Mark Knows What Ethan Did… (Sep. 22nd)

Pee Sauna (Jun 17th)

We Made Nude Paintings of Each Other (Dec. 14th)

All of Our Video Ideas that Never Happened (Nov. 5th)

Mark Teaches Ethan How to March in a Marching Band (Sep. 4th)

Hiding Our Sins From Amy’s Holy Peepers (Jan. 2nd)

Our Perfect (and last) Valentine’s Day (Feb. 14th)

The Barrel - Official Music Video (Mar. 9th)

Edward Pumpkin Hands (Oct. 26th)

This Video Is Completely Unedited (Oct. 17th)

Ethan Teaches Mark How to Swim (Jun. 28th)

The Unus Annus Annual Sleepover (Nov. 12th)

Everything’s Legal if You’re Dead (Nov. 10th)

Harnessing Our Dogs’ Unlimited Energy (Dec. 23rd)

2 Grown Men Attempt the Presidential Fitness Test (Dec. 31st)

Learning to Breathe Underwater (Jan. 13th)

Playing Children’s Games in Total Darkness (Aug. 17th)

The Unus Annus Annual Costume Contest (Oct. 28th)

Saying Goodbye to All Our Guests (Nov. 9th)

We Got Pepper Sprayed (Mar. 10th)

The Cryptid Olympics (Oct. 24th)

Mark and Ethan Get Into a Fight (Mar. 8th)

Mark Punishes Ethan (Jan. 27th)

Ethan Watches as Mark Achieves the Impossible (Sep. 29th)

Drunk College Party Simulator (Feb. 15th)

God’s Fitness Test (Nov. 8th)

3 Big Boys Attempt the King’s Royal Fitness Test (Feb. 18th)

The Beginning of the End (Jul. 26th)

Mark Cooks Blindfolded While Ethan Guides Him Through FaceTime (May 22nd)

Pitching a Tent in the Woods But There’s a Bear 15 Feet Away (Aug. 22nd)

We Forced James Charles to Run a Military Obstacle Course (Mar. 23rd)

We Tried a Labor Pain Simulator (Mar. 20th)

The Bad Kind of Cupping (Nov. 20th)

Ethan Destroys Mark’s Van with a Bat (Dec. 7th)

Duct Tape Crucifixion (Amy, Please Don’t Watch This Video) (Dec. 29th)

A Bear Attacked Us in the Middle of the Night (Aug. 24th)

Mark and Ethan Look at a Puppy for 10 Minutes (Jul 7th)

Building the World’s First IKEA Boat (Jun 27th)

Goat Yoga (Feb. 22nd)

10 Strange Amazon Products Ethan Bought Mark Because He Doesn’t Know How To Spend Money Responsibly (Feb. 16th)

Top 10 Worst Things Your Friend Could Possibly Spend Their Money On (Feb 29th)

Fixing Mark’s Hole with Ramen But Every Time We Add Glue We Get 5% Closer to God (Jan. 14th)

Being Attacked By a Fully Trained Bodyguard Dog (Feb. 19th)

Preserving Ourselves in Wax (Dec. 26th)

Santa’s Mukbang (Drinking 1 Gallon of Eggnog) (Dec. 24th)

The Unus Annus Space Program (Jul 11th)

Ethan Explores Mark’s Haunted Basement (Dec. 17th)

Dummy THICC for Dummies | A Tale of Two Butts | Pushing Our Butts Even Further Beyond (Jul. 4th)

DIY Bungee Jump (please don’t try this) (Jan. 4th)

Unregulated Axe Throwing (Feb. 7th)

Making the Ultimate Unus Annus Burger (Sep. 15th)

How to Rescue a Cat from a Tree (Aug. 23rd)

Beer Sauna: Turning a Portable Sauna Into a Portable Hell (Mar. 16th)

The End of Unus Annus Is Almost Here… (May 15th)

We Accidentally Made an SCP While Amy Was Away (Sep. 13th)

We Play The Newlywed Game While Consuming That Which Will Kill the Other (May 23rd)

Building IKEA’s Hardest Piece of Furniture Without Instructions (Jun 18th)

Recharging Our Phones Using Only Brute Strength (Jul. 30th)

Eating Only Onions for 24 Hours: How Many Onions Does It Take to Kill a Man? (May 8th)

The Candy Bra Challenge (Jul 6th)

We Bought Every Grinch Costume on Ebay (Oct. 13th)

Only UNUS-es/ANNUS-es May Watch This Video (May 28th)

Only Watch From 2:25-6:11 --- DO NOT WATCH ANY OTHER PART OF THIS VIDEO (May 29th)

We Force Mark to Swim in the Ocean (HIS GREATEST FEAR) (Oct. 22nd)

Recreating The Miracle of Childbirth (Mar. 21st)

Making Our Own Sensory Deprivation Tank (Nov. 18th)

Turning Mark into an E-Boy (Feb. 2nd)

The First Annual Unus Annus Roast (Nov. 7th)

Reacting to Your Hilarious Green Screen Memes (Jun 5th)

The Ultimate Trolley Problem (Feb. 21st)

We Looked at Unus Annus Memes (Apr. 30th)

Exploring the Unus Annus Subreddit for Your Delicious Memes (May 16th)

BLACK LIVES MATTER: Resources and How You Can Help In The Description (Jun 2nd)

The Chubby Gummy Challenge (Dec. 4th)

Who Can Teach Their Dog a Trick the Fastest? (Mar. 5th)

Taped and Afraid (Dec. 20th)

We Played Strip Poker (May 20th)

Consuming the World’s Hottest Chip (Sep. 30th)

Mark and Ethan Learn About the Human Body (Jan. 26th)

1 Man 100 Accents (Dec. 1st)

Mark Steals Ethan’s Face (Jan. 15th)

Chickens Teach Us About Life and Death (Feb. 17th)

We Lubed Our Floor for a Sliding Competition (Aug. 3rd)

Mark Conquers His Fear of Night Swimming (Oct. 11th)

The Ultimate Paper Airplane Showdown (Jun 20th)

We Pierced Each Other’s Ears (Sep. 11th)

Crushing Watermelons Betwixt Our Mighty Thighs (Jun 3rd)

7 Minutes in Heaven | 7 Minutes in Hell (Nov. 11th)

Two Men in a Trench Coat Teach You How to Save Money at the Movies (Jun 26th)

Having an Adventure in VRChat Because We Can’t Go Outside (Mar. 27th)

Preparing a 5-Star Meal for Our YouTube Famous Dogs (Jul. 16th)

Mark and Ethan Shave Chica (Aug. 8th)

The Wubble (Aug. 7th)

How to Start a Fire (except don’t…) (Aug. 27th)

Unus Annus (Nov. 15th)

This Is Goodbye (Aug. 5th)

Puberty Simulator (Aug. 13th)

This Video Went Completely Out of Control (Oct. 1st)

This Video Will Never Make Sense (Sep. 23rd)

Blowing Our Souls into Some Hot Glass (Feb. 28th)

We Attempted to Create THICC Water (May 10th)

Brick Soccer (Sep. 19th)

Accepting the Truth (Nov. 1st)

Drinking Real THICC Water...How Bad Does It Taste? (May 19th)

How Far Can We Chuck a 16lbs Rock? (Sep. 10th)

Recreating Ourselves as a Cursed Mannequin (Jan. 8th)

Recreating Childhood Photos (Jun 13th)

Nutball: The Most Dangerous Game (Feb. 10th)

Mark Teaches Ethan How to Play the Trumpet (Aug. 1st)

How to Safely Bury Your Friend (Aug. 25th)

Mark Breaks His Nose on an Aerial Hoop (Oct. 4th)

DIY Bed of Nails: OH GOD, PLEASE DON’T EVER TRY THIS (Jul. 20th)

Pee Soda (Sep. 17th)

We Had to Drink Each Other’s Pee (Dec. 16th)

Creating Mark FISHbach (Jun 21st)

Making Our Own Gravestones to Prepare for Our Inevitable Demise (May 11th)

We Made Fanart for Each Other (Jun 11th)

Bear Trapping 101: An Elegant Knot for an Elegant Beast (Jun 25th)

Pressure Washing Our Sins Away (Oct. 21st)

Literally Finding a Needle in a Haystack (Oct. 8th)

We Ate Dog Treats so You Don’t Have To (Sept. 12th)

Giving Away Our 1,000,000 Subscriber Gold Play Button (Dec. 18th)

2 Idiots Get Crushed By 18-Ft Giant Snakes (Mar. 15th)

We Cryogenically Freeze Ourselves (Jan. 20th)

DO NOT OPEN UNTIL 2080 (May 27th)

Fighting Fish to the Death in the Deep Blue Sea (Oct. 23rd)

DIY Teeth (Jul. 17th)

We Attempt to Make UNHOLY Water (Sep. 24th)

We Attempt to Make Holy Water (Sep. 20th)

DIY Cheese (Jan. 29th)

Making an Indoor Tornado to Flex on Mother Nature (Feb. 9th)

Literally Eating Fire (Feb. 6th)

2 Absolute Beginners Experience the Dancing Glory that is Salsa (Jan. 17th)

Team Building for 2: Trust Fall, Tug-of-War, and More! (Aug. 26th)

The Great Ice Cream Cake Race (Sep. 27th)

The Unus Annus Confessional Booth (May 26th)

Blood Bath (Oct. 27th)

2 Dirty Boys Wash Their Filthy Mouths Out With Soap (Jun. 30th)

Who Can Make Themselves Taller? (Jan. 6th)

Mark and Ethan Share a Drink (Aug. 6th)

2 Adults Take a 4th Grade Math Test  (Sep. 6th)

Bobbing for Literally Anything But Apples (Oct. 16th)

Momiplier Teaches Self Defense (Aug. 15th)

The Human Mop (Jul. 21st)

We Attempt Pottery Without Amy’s Help (Sep. 8th)

Becoming One With the Horse (Jun 19th)

Wikifeet: A Tale of Two Tootsies (Apr. 4th)

We Found Websites That the World Forgot About (Apr. 11th)

1 Gallon of Jello Nearly Broke Us (Aug. 20th)

We Finally Drank Our DIY Wine (Sep. 5th)

We Do It Better Than Icarus Ever Could (Jul. 25th)

We Turned Our Bodies Into Art (Jan. 25th)

You Blink, You Lose (Dec. 30th)

Can You Bake a Cookie from Cookie Dough Ice Cream? (Jul. 13th)

Mark Turns Ethan into a Mummy to Prepare Him for the Great Beyond (Dec. 3rd)

Ethan Turns Mark Into a Werewolf (Oct. 29th)

Making Soda with Literally Anything But Soda (Sep. 16th)

Dunking Oreos in Literally Anything But Milk (Jul. 15th)

Making Snow Cones With Literally Anything But Normal Flavors (Sep. 7th)

How Many Slaps Does it Take to Cook a Chicken? (Sep. 2nd)

Play Doh Thanksgiving (Nov. 28th)

Hot Dog’d to Death (Nov. 17th)

Mark and Ethan Build a Scarecrow (Oct. 20th)

Transforming Mark into the Eighth Wonder of the World (Aug. 16th)

Unus Annus Try Pole Dancing (Jul 8th)

Mark Teaches Ethan to Wrestle (Sep. 28th)

Ethan Teaches Mark Gymnastics (Sep. 26th)

Who’s Cutting Onions in Here? (Nov. 6th)

How to Escape from a Hostage Situation (Jul. 18th)

Are We Already Dead? (Feb. 13th)

Bored? Press This Button (Apr. 27th)

Judging Your Terrible Unus Annus Ideas (Aug. 10th)

This is for FUN and NOT a Fetish (Oct. 10th)

This is What Being Tased Feels Like (Jan. 21st)

Learning the Ancient Art of Chinese Archery (Feb. 20th)

Tearing a Phone Book in Half With Our Huge Manly Hands (May 31st)

Beating Inanimate Objects to Death (Dec. 27th)

Edible Slime was a Mistake. (Feb. 23rd)

We Eat Bugs (Jan. 3rd)

Amy Sent Us a Mystery Box (Sep. 21st)

Hydro Dipping a Baby (Aug. 11th)

The Egg Smashing Game (Jul. 12th)

BEYBLADE NUTBALL (Sep. 14th)

Discussing the Idea of Murdering Each Other But It’s Just a Joke and Definitely Not Serious Haha (Feb. 12th)

Mark is Guilty. Ethan Has the Proof. (Jul 1st)

Learning How to Lockpick (FBI Please Don’t Watch) (Jun 22nd)

Mark Needs to Rub Ethan and Only His Mom Can Help Him (Mar. 14th)

Learning to Use the Force (Sep. 18th)

The Secret Unus Annus No-Touchy-Touchy Hand Shake (Apr. 25th)

We Google Each Other to Find Our Darkest Forgotten Sins (Apr. 6th)

Shooting Archery ON A HORSE (Oct. 6th)

Ethan Redefines Male Beauty (Feb. 3rd)

Ethan Roasts Mark for 15 Minutes Straight (Jun 7th)

Playing Cards: The World’s Deadliest Weapon (Aug. 2nd)

Morphing Our Bodies Into Superhero Poses (Jun 4th)

Becoming a Master of Mime (Feb. 11th)

This is the Most Dangerous Children’s Toy Ever Made (Jul. 23rd)

A Serious Conversation Under the Stars (Jul. 29th)

Is Mark a Masochist? (May 1st)

Literally Laying On Literal Broken Glass (Feb. 8th)

Bad, Bad Beans (Jan. 23rd)

DIY Wine (May 30th)

2 Men 200 Accents (Apr. 18th)

DIY Boob (May 24th)

Mark and Ethan Go On a Drum Date (Feb. 27th)

10 Miracle Products to Give YOU the Thiccest Jaw On Planet Earth (Jun. 29th)

Ultimate Horseshoes (Jul. 28th)

Mark and Ethan Get a Full Body Scan to See What Secrets Lay Hidden Within (and learn their body fat) (Mar. 13th)

Acupuncture is NOT Painful (Dec. 11th)

What the Hell is a Pink Trombone? (May 2nd)

Donating Toys to Charity w/ Jacksepticeye (Dec. 22nd)

Poopsie Sparkly Critters (a slime surprise…) (Nov. 27th)

The Great Meat Mistake (Dec. 10th)

DIY Minesweeper (Oct. 7th)

Popping Popcorn with a High Powered Laser (Aug. 12th)

Bobbing for Apples but the Water Keeps Getting Thiccer (Oct. 3rd)

We Buy a Professional Hypnosis Video and React to It (Dec. 5th)

Long Hair, Do We Dare? (Feb. 25th)

Recreating Mark’s Childhood (Jul. 2nd)

Professional Fire Cupping (Going Even Further Beyond) (Feb. 4th)

An Extremely Sour, Not-at-All Sour Meal (Feb. 5th)

Purging Our Sins with a Neti Pot (Nov. 16th)

Attempting to Build IKEA Furniture Without Instructions (Jun 9th)

The Annual Unus Annus Dunk Contest (Jul. 27th)

Our Fans Try to Scare Us With Their Homemade Creepypasta (Jun 12th)

There’s Something Horribly Wrong With This Picture… (June 8th)

Too Many Pickles (Aug. 21st)

5 Products to Grow Your Patchy Beard (Jul. 31st)

What is the Least Viewed Video on YouTube? (Apr. 10th)

Baby Hands Operation (Nov. 24th)

Mark Builds a Pillow Fort for the Very First Time (Apr. 2nd)

Are Reptilian Humanoids Living Among Us? (May 6th)

Mark and Ethan Bet Everything on a Wikipedia Race (Apr. 15th)

We Will Churn Thy Butter (Sep. 25th)

We Take a Lie Detector Test to Uncover Our Darkest Sins (Jan. 12th)

Drawing on Each Other’s Backs in Total Darkness (Oct. 9th)

Drawing Memes from Memory (Nov. 30th)

We Made Every YouTuber Battle in the Hunger Games (Apr. 5th)

Ultimate YouTuber Boxing Showdown (Mar. 30th)

Tasting Weird Food Combos: Pickles and Chocolate? Ice Cream and Soy Sauce? (Jul 10th)

How to NOT be the Perfect Boyfriend (Apr. 13th)

Help Us Break a YouTube World Record (Apr. 17th)

Momiplier Tells Us True Scary Stories from Korea (Oct. 18th)

DO NOT TRY THIS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES (Aug. 9th)

The Most Dangerous Shave (Jun 23rd)

We Took the Polar Plunge (Jan. 1st)

2 Complete Amateurs Enter a Body Building Competition (Jun 1st)

Does This Magnetic Skincare Routine Really Work? (Jul. 19th)

Mark and Ethan Milk a Goat (Oct. 5th)

Pumpkin Spice “Challenge” (Oct. 19th)

Doing Each Other’s Makeup in the Dark (Nov. 23rd)

We’re Better Than Dogs (Aug. 18th)

We Have the Best Bellies on YouTube (May 25th)

The Good Kind of Cupping  (Nov. 19th)

Hacking the Very Fabric of the Universe (Jan. 30th)

Where in the World is Unus Annus? (Apr. 1st)

Mark and Ethan Become United States Citizens (Jun 10th)

Mark and Ethan Desperately Attempt to Feel Something (May 4th)

We Took an IQ Test (Jan. 9th)

Mark Teaches Ethan Korean (May 13th)

Lost Omegle Video (Mar. 31st)

Finding the Most Cursed Image on the Internet (Jun 15th)

Amazon Shopping for the Apocalypse (Mar. 28th)

Desperately Trying Not to Touch Our Faces (Mar. 24th)

Going on an Internet Scavenger Hunt (Mar. 26th)

Reading YOUR Scariest True Stories (Apr. 21st)

The Scariest True Stories on the Internet (Apr. 12th)

REAL Ghost Hunting At An Abandoned Zoo (March 2nd)

Bleachus Annus (Jul. 14th)

Pumpkin Taste Tier List (Oct. 14th)

Floating in a Real Sensory Deprivation Tank (Dec. 12th)

Was 2020 a Bad Year for Unus Annus? (Aug. 30th)

Speed Reading 1000+ WPM to Gain a Complete Understanding of All Human Knowledge (Apr. 9th)

We Give Each Other Tattoos Blindfolded (Mar. 11th)

Mark’s 1 Weird Talent Leaves Ethan Absolutely Speechless (Apr. 3rd)

Learning to Jump Higher in 16 Minutes and 16 Seconds (Oct. 15th)

You Breathe You Die (Jan.16th)

Breaking Glasses With Our Screams (Aug. 4th)

The 1000 High-Five Challenge (Oct. 2nd)

Becoming the World’s Greatest DJs (Mar. 4th)

Grip Strength Test: Loser Becomes the Winner’s Butler for a Day (Aug. 14th)

Forcibly Turning Mark into Santa Claus Against His Will (Dec. 25th)

We Smell Every Smell (Sep. 1st)

We Wrote a Hit Pop Song in 30 Minutes (Feb. 26th)

Unus Annus Carves the Roast Beast (Mar. 18th)

The Painful World of Aerial Skills (Oct. 12th)

The Koala Challenge: TikTok’s Intimate Couples Trend (Aug. 19th)

Ethan Traps Mark’s Soul in the Palm of His Hand (Jun 24th)

Will We Break the Boards...Or Will They Break Us? (Jun 14th)

DIY Chiropractor (Mar. 7th)

Mark Gives Ethan a HOT (stone) Massage (Aug. 31st)

We Bought a Camera That Can Look Inside Us (Mar. 3rd)

Can Plants Feel Pain? (Sep. 9th)

This is Hiding on Your Body RIGHT NOW. (Jul 9th)

Strange (and legal) Things You Can Do With Your Body After Death (Jan. 28th)

Like It Or Not...This is What The New Human Looks Like (May 7th)

Looking at Long Lost Memes (Jan. 31st)

We Played Mad Libs and Ran It Through Google Translate (Apr. 7th)

Running Internet Drama Through Google Translate (Apr. 24th)

Mark and Ethan Desperately Try to Name a Single State in the USA (Apr. 8th)

Professional Fetish Scientists Rank the Best/Worst Fetishes of 2020 (May 3rd)

Reddit 50/50: Two Player Edition (Mar. 25th)

Mark and Ethan Find the Lost City of El Dorado (Apr. 14th)

Using Google Maps to Find the Lost City of Atlantis (Apr. 20th)

We Hired a Real Hypnotherapist to Analyze Our Darkest Dreams (Jan. 24th)

2 Boys 2 Poops (Sep. 3rd)

This is How We’ll Die... (Jan. 19th)

Nutball Extreme: Taser Edition (Mar. 1st)

You Made Beautiful Music for The Barrel...But Only One Could Win (Dec. 15th)

Can Sound Therapy Heal All Wounds? (Jul. 22nd)

Middle School Science Experiment Teaches Us About Life and Death (Mar. 6th)

Reverse Engineering a Kite to Steal the Idea of Electricity from Benjamin Franklin (Jul 5th)

Ethan’s Relaxing and Totally Normal Nail Salon (Dec. 19th)

Mark and Ethan Take a Personality Test (Apr. 22nd)

An AI Generates Our Worst Nightmare (May 5th)

Learning to Cry on Command to Increase Our YouTube Views (Jun 16th)

How Big Can a Nuke Get? (May 17th)

Granting Access Into Heaven’s Sweet Gates (Feb. 24th)

We Put an Apple Watch in a Rock Tumbler (Jul. 3rd)

Whom Would Eat Whomst First in a Zombie Apocalypse? (Mar. 29th)

Bigfoot is Real and It Ate My Friend (May 14th)

What is the Most Painful Thing We’ve Ever Endured? (Dec. 21st)

Don’t Go In The Ocean....Ever. (Apr. 28th)

An AI Predicts How We’re Going to Die (Dec. 2nd)

Harnessing Our Yodeling Power to End The World As We Know It (May 21st)

The Creepiest Videos on YouTube (Apr. 16th)

What Does Astrology Say About Our Friendship? (Mar. 12th)

Discovering the Secret to Eternal Life (Feb. 1st)

What Happens When a YouTube Channel Dies? (Jan. 22nd)

5 Weird Apps That Predicted Our Death (Mar. 19th)

Emotional Pain vs. Physical Pain...Which is Worse? (Dec. 28th)

How Tall Can a Human Get?: An Impartial Review By 2 Average Height Men (May 12th)

Will AI Soon Take Over Humanity As We Know It? (Apr. 23rd)

Mark and Ethan Hunt the World’s Most Wanted Criminals (Mar. 17th)

The Illuminati...Do They Really Exist? (Apr. 19th)

We Explore the Most MYSTERIOUS Mysteries of Our Wildly Mysterious Mystery Moon of Mystery (Apr. 29th)

Two Male Men Judge Female Women On Their Beauty (Apr. 26th)

We Have the BEST Thumbnails on YouTube and No One Can Tell Us Otherwise (Jan. 5th)

How Much Caffeine Does It Take to Kill a Man? (May 18th)

There’s Still Hope… (Dec. 8th)

Unus Annus ASMR (May 9th)

The Worst Kind of Cupping (Nov. 21st)

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #434

“i hate this town, it’s so washed up, & all my friends don’t give a fuck  /  they’ll tell me that it’s just bad luck, when will i find where i fit in?”

You get a text from your ex. He/she wants to hang out. How do you respond? Admittedly, I would. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex that you secretly want to be more than friends with? No. Well, there are times where I think I WANT to like-like Girt, but I just don't. And yet he's always been there for me without fail, is super funny and kind and chill... but I think we were just friends for too long; he feels like my brother by this point in time. If your partner smoked, would that be a problem for you? If it was cigarettes, yes. Even weed (UNLESS it was for medicinal purposes and not a constant thing) I'd be iffy about. I just don't want to date a smoker. Lung damage is lung damage and weed actually has more carcinogens, and I don't want to sign myself up for all that. I don't want to watch my partner wither away from nonstop smoking and also have myself suffer from second-hand smoking. When will you next see your best friend? There's no telling. Right now I'm trying to be realistic and responsible with the money I DO ever get and put it towards more important investments, but I really do want to take a plane up there at some point. But that's also waiting until Covid is in the past. Heeeell no would I be stepping into an airport right now, even being vaccinated. How many tattoos would you like to have? Too many to count, ha ha. I want LOADS. Paint me, baby. :') Do you like your first name? I actually do. Have you ever talked to a boyfriend about an ex-boyfriend? Yes. It's kind of inevitable when you go into a new relationship, hoping it'll go well and be seriously invested, that you let your partner know "oh hey, this happened and seriously affected me to where I'm going to have 'my days.'" Greatest birthday gift you ever got? My snake Venus was technically a birthday present, though I obviously picked her out. Worst memory you have? Losing Jason. I can't say enough that the night of the breakup still doesn't feel real. First memory you can remember? My brother going down our slide into the Hurricane Floyd flood in our front yard, ha ha. I was around two, I wanna say? I don't feel like looking up the date of the hurricane. Oldest object you own? When did you get it? I'm sure that would be a stuffed animal we have stored away somewhere. Or my baby blanket, also safely tucked away. Meanest person you know? Why do you feel this way? I don't "know" Colleen anymore, but God knows she fit the bill. She was so fucking rude to people (yes, she was one of those people that bitched out store employees that have no control over things that inconvenienced her), the world revolved around her problems, she started drama with the damn grass... It's funny even picturing how she was my best friend once. My standards were lower for who I could befriend back then, but goddamn. Ever been dumped? By who? Yes, Jason. Technically Sara as well, but "dumped" seems like an unfitting term? Like we just talked it out and sorta mutually agreed that it was wiser that we weren't together at the time. Have you ever dumped someone? Why? Yes, mostly because I didn't like-like them. Juan was more so because I believed a rumor by Rachel, and Tyler, I just wasn't invested in and had NO desire to put up with the "we need to talk every five minutes" crap. Where do you buy most of your food? Wal-Mart. Last house you have been to: whose was it, and why were you there? My sister's, for my nephew's birthday party. Have you ever been a drunk driver? No, and fuck you if you've ever put others (and yourself) at risk like that. One kid you cannot stand? None that I know, and that's very few. Has anyone ever saved your life? Jason and Mom literally have. Last thing you cried about? Ha ha, I finished watching another SOMA playthrough earlier, and I will ALWAYS start to cry at the end. Without fail. Would you sacrifice your life for someone else's baby? I honestly think I would if it was a split-second decision. Tell me about your latest dream: I think my APAP mask wasn't positioned well last night, because I had a SHITLOAD of nightmares. Too many to even remember. Have you ever been in a limo? No. I've always wanted to experience that once, man. Have you ever been the maid of honor in a wedding party? No. Has anyone ever seen you naked? I was born naked, my man. Mom used to give my sister and I baths together, and I took a bath with a best friend once as a kid. Then one other person has. Do you have a calendar? If so, what is the theme of it? Not a current one, no. Nicest thing you have ever done for a complete stranger: I have no idea. Meanest thing you have ever done to a complete stranger: *shrug* Have you ever been sent to the principal's office? If so, why? And how did you feel? Yes, I think because they wanted to ask the reason behind all my morning tardies. I was soooo scared, just being a kid. Person you hope you never run into again: Colleen. Have you ever streaked? Heeeeell no. Why do you hate your ex? I don't hate any of them. What animal did you last pet or hold? Roman, my cat. What color is your hair? It's my natural brunette right now. I want to dye it SO badly. Have you ever fallen asleep in someone's arms? Yeah. Have you ever had to clean a cat box before? Yeah, seeing as I own an indoor cat. Christmas is coming. Who are you buying gifts for? In the hypothetical situation where I had the money, I'd buy things for my parents, my stepmom, my two immediate sisters, Ash's kids, as well as her husband, but only because I'd feel obligated to as he's considered a close member of the family. I'd also totally get something for Sara! When somebody intimidates you, how do you usually act around them? SCARED. I get quiet, stutter if I do talk, and possibly cry. Is your favorite singer in a band or does he or she ride solo? He was originally the singer of Black Sabbath, but he's been solo for forever now. I prefer him solo, honestly. Did your parents ever hang your old artwork up on the walls? Ohhh yes. Mom still does, ha ha. What is the weirdest obsession you’ve ever had? Nothing really "weird," I think... How long can you be in a car before wanting to get out? It depends on if I have my music or not. If I do, I can last hours, but if not, I don't really like being in the car at all. Have any songs ever inspired you to play an instrument? No. Do you ever use Pandora?No. Are you better with creative writing or writing essays? Creative writing, but I'm fine with both. What is the weirdest animal you’ve ever seen as a pet? I know OF someone who rescued I want to say a baby bobcat, or something along those lines, but I didn't know that guy personally. I don't think I've ever actually met someone with a truly *strange* pet... The most unique I've seen is probably just a chinchilla. If you had to change one, would you rather change your hair or your eyes? My eyes. I don't like them much, mainly the shape. What was your favorite computer game as a kid? I loved the various Oregon Trail games, as well as one I think was called The Amazon Trail 3. Then there was a few dinosaur games I LOVED, and then there were the classic kids' games like the Putt-Putt and Fred the Fish series. Any shows on TV that you flat out refuse to start watching? 13 Reasons Why. I don't even support that show existing. Pajamas with feet: yay or nay? NOOOOOOOO, that is so uncomfortable. What is your opinion on fruitcake? That's an even BIGGER "no." Who did you last dream about? I don't remember. Do you have trouble remembering important things? Yes. .-. I barely remember anything. Which animal can you imitate the best? I dunno? Have you bought any drugs this month? I don't do drugs, so. Have you ever set foot in a tanning bed? Nope, never will. Do you know the Soulja Boy dance? Ha ha, I did as a kid. My then-best friend, younger sister, and I wanted to learn it. I don't remember it now, that's for sure. What is the best ice cream flavor? Ben and Jerry's "Phish Food" is GODLY. Wallpaper on your computer's desktop? Teddy, my late dog. Do you clean when you’re upset? Hell no, I do the opposite: nothing. Do you sleep with the door open or closed? It stays open. My cat would pitch a fit otherwise. Do you know anyone who has actually been in an alcohol or drug related crash? Yes, actually. It was incredibly tragic; the both of them were high (maybe drunk, idr for sure), and my friend was driving with her best friend in the passenger seat. They crashed, and said friend's best friend died. For YEARS she would share pictures of them together on Facebook, "talking" to her, and it was just so heartbreaking. I doubt she's forgiven herself to this day, but she seems to have mostly moved on the best she could, being married with a daughter now. Have you ever gotten a professional massage? No, and I do NOT want one. I don't want some random stranger touching me in ANY way. Do you have a good relationship with your first love? No. We haven't talked in years, so maybe he feels no hatred for me at this point, but I do for myself. I don't hate him at all. Do you feel like you have life figured out? bitch hell no What would you do if you were faced with an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy (at your current age)? Was I raped? I'd almost certainly abort because I would be traumatized as FUCK. If it was my own fault, I think I'd go through with the pregnancy, but give the baby up for adoption. There is no way I could raise a kid right now. Or probably ever. Water or Gatorade? I don't like either, really, but I HATE Gatorade. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced? It's been pierced twice, and I'm thinking of getting it redone again, but this time use a hoop instead of a stud to keep the damn piercing from falling out and closing in my sleep. Have you ever slapped someone? On the arm as a kid. That doesn't excuse it, though. Who are the pictures of in the room? I have a lot of posters, but no real photographs of anyone. Have your parents ever smoked pot? Dad did a lot of drugs before I was born, but Mom's never touched anything. I think. Would you ever consider moving to a different country? I'd love to live in Canada, if that didn't entail leaving my family. What is your favourite food from your culture? Cheeseburgers, alsdf;alwer Do you know any pick-up lines in a foreign language? No. What degree are you or will you pursue while in college? I've dropped out of college three times. I am never going back to major in anything. I changed my major quite a few times while I was there. Favorite arcade game? I don't really have one. One of my life goals is to go to an arcade that has Silent Hill: The Arcade, though. There are very few throughout the world, and it looks fun. Would other people consider your sense of humor inappropriate? I don't see how. Some inappropriate things can make me laugh, but it's definitely not my favorite form of humor, and I myself don't really make jokes of that sort. Who is your biggest celebrity crush right now? Mark Fischbach. :'') What are they famous for? He's a big YouTuber, aND WILL ALSO BE A MAIN ACTOR IN A SHOW NEXT YEAR. LET'S GOOOOOOOOOO. Have you ever had a controlling boyfriend/girlfriend? No, I would NOT stand for that bullshit. Do you have any gay family members? I know my mom's... cousin I want to say is gay. Somebody related to her is. Was your first kiss romantic? I feel like it was. What are you most likely to go to jail for? Pirating shit. Well, can you even be locked up for downloading minor shit? Shows what I know. Have you ever liked someone that was in a relationship with someone else? Boy, have I. Would you ever get a boob job? When (or if...) I lose all the weight I want, I can almost guarantee a breast lift will be something I'd want. Certain things happen when you lose a shitload of weight alsdkf;alkwe Have you ever tried to break up anyone because you liked one of them? Not intentionally. What would you think if you found out your ex was gay? If we're talking THE ex, safe to say I'd be shocked. Did you ever think someone didn’t like you, but come to find out they really did? It's weird, I've felt both ways with Girt? Like there were times I was pretty much 100% certain he liked me, but I'd also be like "nah, no way, he sees me as a sister." Turns out he like-liked me. Are you worried about anything right now? I can't possibly recall the last time I WASN'T worried about something. When you are home alone, do you still close the door when you shower? I don't shower when I'm home alone because I'm afraid of ever fainting and busting my ass again. What noise do you hear? I'm currently listening to "All Signs Point To Lauderdale" by A Day to Remember, and I can also hear my fan going. Do you go online everyday? Pretty much without fail. It'll probably be a cold day in Hell before I willingly don't come online, ha ha.