#is simply having a field day
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College (uni??) AU catering to my own interests as it should always be hehe :)
#projecting my major on Vash because them mfs who have changed from the med field majors to that one have some tragic things to tell#and also because I think that Vash would be such a wonderful designer I don’t know why it’s a gut feeling#Nai the law major because of course he would have you seen the guy#he would be a personal injury lawyer because lore#fun fact Nai rested for a semester after the incident with Vash while Vash took two.He never told Nai he would be changing majors#so it was a big big shock for him. they fought again but yk I’ll explain more on that if anyone is interested#as to Kni and WW I thought it’d be funny if they shared a common subject that required a lot of team assignments#and they can NEVER work out together. being an absolute nightmare to the rest of their group#separately they are great to work with. even if Kni can come off as too bossy sometimes he is actually a great leader#and WW would always deliver things on time exactly as it was asked from him#but Kni and WW just never really matched. Kni was too rude at times when WW made a mistake and WW would always clock him if he passed a line#like insulting his reasons for wanting to study security#one day Kni tells him at the beginning of a new semester where they both have unfortunately landed on a shared subject again#“you are not suited for that sort of job Wolfwood. you should simply give up and why don’t you go play role model to your little kids’’#then WW beats him again and then is like hey yk what you’re kinda right. and changed majors and he feels so much more at home studying#education/teaching than security. he fucking hates some things but the end goal makes it worthy#Trigun Uni! AU#because I don’t know how differently a college and a uni work#trigun#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun stampede#vashwood#trigun fanart#wolfwood#vash#Nai saverem#millions knives#lenssi draws#pen!
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#another day another job interview went not so well. i got super anxious because there were FIVE !!! FIVE PEOPLE in the videocall !!!!#so i felt very pressurised. they started w huge talks about the job and the vacancy and what they do and what they expect me to do#i was hardly grasping what they were talking about TT it was all too technical for me (consider that i don't belong to the field)#it made me feel soooo anxious and lost. and when we got to the - describe yourself - part i didn't know what to say#like i tried explaining my background and job experiences (which were in completely different fields). it all looked out of place#i think i simply didnt fit in. and i guess the recruiters understood bc they looked pissed af lmao. def one of my worst experiences#whatever i made peace w the fact that i'll have to do a THOUSAND job interviews before even thinking of getting one#personal#i feel so sorry for my moots that have to read my loser stories (you're free to skip) but i truly dont have any other social media site#where i don't feel bad when sharing my failures
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ok it is my wish to begin posting again so here are the 6 f/os i have acquizzled whilst i was away
thank you you may go about your business
#ftr i think the secret ones are perfectly acceptable f/os due to my impeccable media analysis abilities#but i simply haven’t the time to field potential arguments to the contrary#r: 🧉 Class Act 🧉#r: 🌷 Not Too Sweet‚ Not Too Sour 🌷#s: 👓 When She’s Dressed In Black 👓#s: 🎀 Puppet On A String 🎀#r: 🎡 Every Day Is Like Sunday 🎡#r: ❤️ Anything Can Happen ❤️#i know i keep adding f/os i know most of their tags have never been used#i have a lot of feeling ok ‘’>>#personal
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achievement unlocked: accidentally starting something in my tiny town.
#To put it simply: local thrift store has a 48 hour hold policy. Wanted a furniture piece that would be helpful w dad being more homebound.#Was told it was bought two days before and lady would be back for it. Was in thrift store again today. Four days later.#Asked if policy meant it was back up for grabs or not. Shop manager herself said after six days abandoned when they needed floor space#I could take it home as long as I picked it up today. Slapped money down for it thinking SWEET NOW HE WONT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT STEPS#dear reader. The woman had the audacity to show up for it not long after I left with it. Owner stood by store policy.#Oh facebook having a field day about this little rolling table.#out of stories#ANYWAY IT'S GONNA BE SO HELPFUL IT HAS FEATURES TO BE A NICE LIL MINI DINNER TABLE FOR MY PARENTS + ME IF THEY WANT JUST FOR THEIR ROOM.#SO ON DAYS WHERE HE CAN'T WALK OR BALANCE HE CAN JUST HOBBLE TO HIS CHAIR AND SIT AND EAT AND STILL HAVE DINNER W US.#NO MORE WORRYING ABOUT HIM AND THE STEPS!!!
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the job interview that went well is in fact a no, which a) ngl I'm... genuinely surprised
but b) my current job is going to get Shitty again in January about making me commute 10 hours round trip once a week to open PowerPoint and I was reaaaaaaally hoping I'd be gone by then and now I have the Dread bc I will not be
#I just don't want to do it!!#i simply do not want to commute five hours. open PowerPoint. sleep on someone's couch. 5 hours back the next day#FOR LIKE FIVE WEEKS !#but unfortunately#I'm in a field that takes 5ever to hire and I have no other bites on other applications#I WORK FOR [REDACTED] COME ONNNN how is that not getting me bites
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speaking of liah it's time for another kotor update. i'm currently on manaan and have once again been roped into solving a murder mystery
#el plays kotor#so many murder investigation quests in this game... im not complaining i enjoy them. but idk if liah does#but also yknow manaan is a strictly neutral planet right. that allows both republic and sith presence in ahto city#and some of the selkath speak in favor of the sith which would be believable if the sith weren't so cartoonishly mean and evil all the time#one selkath said sth like 'the republic is stagnant and oppressive and the sith are the change we need'#meanwhile the sith threaten ppl on the streets. conquer and destroy planets. etc#like... you can't just have characters say this stuff and then show only evil & mean sith. and not show any of the republic's flaws...#characters like this selkath just sound stupid instead of like someone with a hot take that is worth discussing#but also during my investigation into the murder i found out that the republic has been withholding information regarding it...#idk... maybe we will see the republic's shadier side... maybe there will finally be some well written grey morality in this game...#also possible that i'm just stupid myself and have simply missed any displays of the republic being shady and oppressive. hm#anyway!! i've also been playing fields of mistria a lot these past couple days... got it as a little bday treat...#it's been nice so far! i like the villagers and am already crushing on ryis and valen aha#my only complaint is that time seems to go by much faster than in sdv?? i hope they slow it down a little
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Hello! I really admire your art and I was wondering if you ever planned to open commissions? I understand if not for any reason! Thank you in advance!
hi and thank you for the interest! the answer to this question is sadly, and most often, "it'll happen when it happens". I'd like to try and get at least one round in before the year end though, so here's fingers crossed!
I may update my comm details before that happens, but for now if you wonder how commissions work for me, please check the "commission" tag on my blog!
#ask#bakuspeech#currently I have a Bunch of obligations I really need to get off my ass and get done lol#but also I do have to save up for stuff. so I'd like to get comms again soon. we will simply have to see!#please forgive me for the absolutely lack of rhyme or reason to how I work I am so desperately unmedicated#I just need to lay in a field of grass for three consecutive days I think. or perhaps a month#this year truly has been. somethin else#well! it is what it is. and it sure is#but yeah lol I would love to give better answers than ''soon'' and ''let's see how it goes'' but alas. I would like to not lie#and my discipline dimes gotta be saved for things. stuff.#once again thank u for the interest!
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remind me to never ask ppl in college for favors ever again jessusssss...
#so i missed a week about two weeks ago bc i was knocked on my ass by an illness that literally... sent me to the emergency room for-#breathing treatments#and i emailed one of my professors asking for some info on like... what i missed and he simply never responded and then when he did he-#didn't answer my questions properly#so i asked my groupmates 'hello did i miss anything last week that i have to know about for when i come back?'#and they said 'no you didn't.. don't even worry'#and i was like COOL! DOPE!#come to find out today. my first day back in class#(we went on a field trip last week so we weren't in the classroom)#they text in the groupchat talking about a GROUP PROJECT??? TODAY???#DUE TONIGHT OR WEDNESDAY????#and so i ask 'uh hey... group project? since when?"#and they said 'oh yeah.. during the week you missed he assigned us groups and we have to make a still life collaboratively-#it's due either tonight or wednesday depending on what groups need more time'#like JESUS. that would have BEEN NICE TO KNOW????????? LIKE???? WAAAAYYYYYY EARLIER??? WHAT THE FUCK 😭😭😭#and my prof didn't PUT THAT SHIT ON CANVAS EITHER
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Haven’t interacted with people outside of my office or family or music ensembles for like a month. Think I am going to go bonkers
#I need to talk in my Discord server it’s been MONTHS#but I don’t really share interests with them#online I mostly just talk to two or three of my closest IRLs T_T#I want to make Tumblr friends but I am SO intimidated#chalcy stuff#idk why I’m posting this here#just sitting in the parking lot procrastinating on walking into the office… another 7 hour day :’)#I would also LIKE to have new hobbies but I simply do not have time#<- taking 6 uni classes AND working 25 hours/week in an inherently busy/stress-inducing field#so rn my hobbies are just.. college choir community choir vocal lessons aaaand fanfic#none of which are really friend-making environments#since you don’t exactly get to TALK during choir#and community choir is full of people 40 years my senior :(#at least I have one friend from college in there and we go to the bathroom together during our 10 minute break lololol
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Ok, ok so you know the scene from that 70’s show where Jackie breaks up with Hyde in his car then, country music starts playing and he’s all “huh, I finally get country music.” That but make it Hannigram where Will gets mad at Hannibal and storms off and some sad country song starts playing in the car, Will’s playlist, etc and Hannibal’s all mopey “hm, it seems this music conveys, with astonishing accuracy, the depths of melancholy” Will comes back after cooling off, not sure what he’s coming back to and finds Hannibal in the exact same spot, now listening to purgatory by tyler childers and he just looks up at Will and says “Will, I’ve discovered the merits of country music. Tell me, do you believe God would allow these free-will boys to brood in purgatory? Dante-”
#will simply turns back around and walks away#im a will would love tyler childers truther#hannibal would have a field day with all the religious imagery in his songs#will graham#hannibal lecter#hannigram
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if you want to know how good I am at simply Not Knowing things I didnt find out until today that jacksepticeye is Irish
ive been a Tumblr user since 2011 and a YouTube user since like 2008
#and I only found out cause I was watching a vlog and she had him on in the bg#im being dead serious here I didnt know#ive never really interacted with that area of YouTube#the closest I got was being into pewdiepie very very briefly and that was 10+ years ago#I never watched markiplier I dont like him#and by extension just never poked into jacksepticeye#none of my friends growing up were super into him either so I just never even heard about him#I was also running in superwholock Tumblr and there was a LOT of crossover with superwholock Tumblr and YouTube Tumblr#somehow the lines never crossed for me#I didnt realize till like 2 years ago that Dan and Phil are British#again never went near their content#my friends are having a field day with this#im very very good at simply Not Knowing things
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just remembered the time I was lamenting on twitter about not having bug friends anymore and my ex replied ':('
darlin. you live in pennsylvania. I meant friends I can actually hang out and catch bugs with
#also [at the time] we haven't seen each other in person since we broke up many years ago#are you gonna road trip to another state to stomp through a field with me for a couple of hours?? or are you being WEIRD for no REASON#anyway thinkin about this because I am once again wondering how to get nature and bug friends to tromp around with again#all my fantasy nerd social needs are now being met but all of my nature nerd social needs used to be covered by DJ exclusively :')#WHO WILL STOMP AROUND THE MARSHES WITH ME PHOTOGRAPHING FROGS AND BOTHERING SNAKES. WHO WILL HELP ME CHASE COOL BEES#I miss bug catching AND pinning but I have come to feel weird about personally collecting insects so I'd love a bug collector friend#I KNOWWW that the answer is I need to go to Things at nature centers/ parks but uggghh how do make friends there...#if high school was good for one thing it was putting you somewhere that you could awkwardly exist near other people every day#until someone extremely outgoing and energetic notices you seem to have similar interests and starts bringing you on bird watching trips#if I'm not getting adopted by an extravert I just simply do not know how to make friends#about me
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Doodle I did of my girl Juliet earlier
#keese draws#lobotomy corporation#oc art#not super happy with this but I do enjoy looking at her so I can lower my standards for her#at least I feel like I have a better idea of her general shapes now#I spent hours and hours today on the lob corp grind and I think Im Finally ready to actually move forward with they story#Ive also been thinking abt my nuggets during their lor eras and thats been fun#in particular its been fun to think abt my ogs because half of them are experiencing their crash from finally being free from lob corp hell#and the other half are like frolicking in fields and making friendship bracelets and have made peace with their past and upcoming futures#and that half is the half that are all just godawful people who do not deserve that peace and happiness while the people they actively#traumatized are just left to deal with it#this is mostly abt juliet and loki they both suck I love them sm <3#juliet is the one thats caused more active harm tho since shes that type of boss that will obsess over those she thinks have ~potential~#and once youve caught her attention you are guaranteed to have a horrible time as she will get what she wants out of you no matter what#she doesn't even work on abnormalities anymore just just breaths down ppls necks and fights when need be#loki is very similar in that regard he puts a lot of pressure on his team to provide the results he wants#hes less likely to like. directly psychologically torture those who are under him. but he still isnt a good boss.#hes also more openly rude and disrespectful towards those around him because while neither respect anyone but eachother#loki much more frequently openly states that fact to ppls faces because he feels like everyone around him is wasting his time#now loki actually does legitimately like a few other ppl he works with which is smth that cant rly be said for juliet#but hes also the one whos always on team 'lets murder the newbies for science' so y'know#ding is like his least favorite person here and its like 30% because he specifically accepted her into the info department because he#planned on getting her killed to finish off some research on a tool abno that was being worked on#but she survived the process so now she just like actually works here and he despises her despite the fact that shes rly good at her job#juliet doesn't usually send ger guys to die on purpose but if they do die she doesn't care#she simply feels that if they die early they were weak links anyways#she will still be 'nice' to newbies and to all of her coworkers for that matter but she still has quite the bad reputation regardless#some newbies do fall for her polite act but anyone whos been here for more than like a few days knows that she doesn't give a shit abt them#theyre both doing fine in lor theyre just like we may have lost everything but at least we have eachother :) (mason wants to strangle them)
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Kids. They still thought they knew something the rest of us didn’t, the way every generation thinks they’re the ones who invented sex, the way every generation thinks they’re the ones who will be remembered. They still had I’m-better-than-this dreams, one-day-we’ll-leave-this-all-behind aspirations. What they didn’t understand is that it doesn’t matter who you are or where you’re from. No one ever leaves it all behind. The best you can hope for is to start off in the least horrible place. The rest of us just have to make do.
#Jane Jenkins#Dear Daughter#elizabeth little#the chokehold this book has on me now#its so delightful and soo mentally ill#the Janie “thank fuck i remembered my name [which in the moment: Rebecca]” Jenkins#the main character u are#oh my#neil josten would have a field day with another “i should try be nice boring fake name person” bitch who simply can not shut up#they so petty she's sooo petty#the best kind of First Person Narrative is the one from the bitchiest bitch of all#also i can not make a collage but we must pretend that i can just this once
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I hate how people talk about me and my career like I’m automatically going to be successful because of the field I’ve chosen, like it’s nothing, like it’s so easy, like I haven’t in fact been struggling since I’ve graduated
#completely disregarding my struggles#and I’m so far off everyone’s expectations I feel like a complete failure#and when your friends do that!! even if it’s unintentional man that hurts#like today my friend was talking about how he’d like to travel abroad and watch different sports games#and I was all for it and said one day he’ll do that#and bro joked saying I’ll get rich and bring him along with me bc he’ll obviously never have money in his field#and I was so uncomfortable bc like do you mean to say I’m expected to be so financially successful just bc I went to a different area?#like you struggle and I don’t?#like I simply haven’t been consumed by my anxieties and capitalism and my fear of failure these past years?#you were right there with me#also you’re the one who has a job lmao#idk man I’m also going through health problems rn#and I hate getting sick and I have having a chronic illness that literally makes it so hard to live#and I’m bedridden and idk how I’m supposed to live like this#anyways I’ll delete this in a second but I guess I just wanted to organize my thoughts#l.txt
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Noah Calhoun is on the romantic F/O list as of March 26th!! soon I'll think of a ship tag for him 🥰🥰 yay!! new springtime boyfriend ♡
#well. he was already kissed & thrown into the pile since July. but he wasnt Official with a Ship Tag™#but i keep thinking of him and kicking my feet and giggling and sighing like im in looove#so. congrats Noah it took me... a lot of rewatches of ur movie... but we are finally dating now!!!#so now that is THREE !!!! ryan F/Os ive gained in the month of March!!! wowie!!!!#completely unplanned but that's how it all just simply fell into place ♡#and our anniversary!! March 26th!! when it's raining!!!!! it's so perfect 🥰🥰#love notes#i couldnt sleep and i was just crying and anxious so i put on the movie#and idk i just felt so comforted. like. he'd be so gentle with me#and he wouldn't pressure me to be anything other than myself#i wouldn't have to be scared with him#and even tho im so broken and scared all the time#i think he'd still say i'm lovely and he'd kiss me anyways#ken's gonna have a field day welcoming this baby goose into the mojo dojo casa keri ken dreamhouse#and noah blinks twice and says 'the what' and ken gladly repeats it. smile unwavering#i love my boys#love notes: noah ♡#💕♡˚₊· Your heart is my home ☆❤️🦢♡˚₊·
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