#is now a good time to mention that all of these are convos between my partner and I?

[arcturianview]

Just finished SoJ.... man I miss when Ace Attorney was good.

[rainbowspinch]

[lcvclywon]

In another universe

back to masterlist

synopsis ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 You swore the next time you saw Sunghoon you would cuss him out and turn a cold shoulder. But when he suddenly appears at your apartment door one night, drunk and desperate, you find yourself faltering

now playing > •၊၊||၊|။||||| 0:10 difficult - gracie abrams, anaheim -niki, hope ur okay - olivia rodrigo

warnings ˎˊ˗ cursing, crying, fighting, kissing, mentions of hoon being emotionally unavailable, mentions of breaking up, heavyyyy angst, mentions of alcohol, mentions of being drunk, mentions of children, open ending, use of the word masochist once, pet names

genre ⭑.ᐟ hurt to ??

pairings: non-idol ex!sunghoon x female reader

wc ᵎᵎ 1.28k

thoughts frm yuya 💭 fun fact this was actually based off a convo i had with my ex!!!!!! 😁😁😁 so! hit kinda close to home guys! anyways angst is actually so fun to write i won't even lie...

You had just finished taking a shower when you heard a few gentle and quiet knocks coming from your door, barely audible but loud enough for you to hear them. Hand still intertwined in your wet hair in an attempt to dry it, you peered out the peephole to check who was disturbing you at this hour. 

Fuck. 

Out of all the people you didn’t want to see, Park Sunghoon was at the top of that list. Yet there he stood, eyes heavy and lidded, hair a mess, and gaze averted on the floor, yet you could tell his eyes were plagued with desperation. And even though you so badly wanted to ignore him standing out there hopelessly, a small part of you wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself if you had done that. 

Keeping the door ajar you squeezed your head between the gap, his eyes immediately darted to your own. Fuck, you shouldn’t have done this. You knew you shouldn’t have done this because the moment his eyes met yours you felt the all-so-familiar sense of longing overcoming your soul, the sense of longing you’d been trying to fight off for 6 months; all for it to come crashing down on you again. Well, there goes half a year's worth of healing. 

“Sunghoon? What are you doing here?” 

“YN, I uh- I didn’t think you’d open up…” shit. His breath reeked of alcohol, of course, the only time he’d come to see you would be when he was drunk. 

“Are you drunk Sunghoon?” your words lingered with bitterness as they left your tongue 

“Just- just a bit…can I come in?” his eyes were still pleading, and that accompanied by the shaking of his voice would’ve been enough to break you. But you refused to let him do that again. 

“Sunghoon you’re drunk you really should just go home-” your hands fumbled at the doorknob as you tried to gently shut the door, but Sunghoon was quicker than you it seemed. 

“Please,” his hand reaching towards your own, “I’ll be good.” fuck. 

You hated how easily you faltered under his words, his gaze, his touch. You hated it so badly, yet you allowed yourself to do so every. single. time.

Begrudgingly you opened the door fully to let him drunkenly stumble in, collapsing at the end of your bed. A scene all too familiar that haunted you in your sleep. You swore you would never let Sunghoon back into your life, that the next time you saw him you would spit insults in his face and stand your ground, yet with one touch of the wrist the defences you raised for yourself seemed to be built upon sand. 

Seating yourself at the edge of your bed you allowed yourself to gingerly run your fingers through his hair, you missed this. However, that was all the more reason why you shouldn’t be doing this. Shouldn’t be allowing yourself to hurt again, just at the expense of a few fleeting moments of serenity. 

“Why are you here drunk Sunghoon?” 

“I,” he propped himself up, allowing him to stare into your glossy eyes, “I don’t really know. I got kinda drunk and- fuck I couldn’t stop thinking about you love.”

Love, fuck you hated how naturally it rolled off his tongue. “Don’t call me that.” 

“Sorry…” he mumbled hazily, “Don’t you miss it though?”

You did. “No.”

“Well I do, I miss you YN. I miss all of this, your hugs, your voice, your touch, your anger. Fuck, I miss being scolded by you after drinking actually, it’s weird right, maybe I’m a masochist.” he said with a small grin

“Hoonie come on-” Hoonie, you didn’t even mean to say it yet the words seemed to come out of you like it was an instinct. 

“I missed that too,” he cut in as his hand slowly drew circles around your knuckles, “Shit YN I missed you so much” his eyes slowly started to well up with tears, a few threatening to drip down. You hated how your heart still held a soft spot for him, but you hated seeing him cry even more. 

“Hoon don’t cry.” your hands reached over to cup his face, fuck if this was all so wrong why did it feel so right. Like your hand belonged there. 

“YN- fuck,” now he really was crying “I really do love you.”

Do, present tense. “Just because you loved me doesn’t mean I felt loved by you” 

The memories you tried so hard to repress suddenly flooded all back to you, the arguments, the sleepless nights, the cold glares. The reason you broke up in the first place. You tried your hardest to forget that night, the shouts between you two that filled up your apartment, the way his words pierced through your heart like a spear, the way he walked out so easily. All to just walk back into your heart like he owned the place. Fuck he did own your heart though, he never stopped owning it. 

“I’m sorry YN. I’m so so sorry, I should’ve been better. I can be better. Please, I’ll love you the way you’re meant to be loved. I won’t shut you out anymore, fuck I never should’ve. I just- please, I can’t keep living without you. I haven’t been living without you-” he was practically sobbing now. “Please YN, I mean it.”

You wiped away the tears running down his cheeks, seeming to not notice how your eyes were stinging with tears as well. “Hoonie I miss you too but, we can’t keep hurting each other like this. We aren’t good for each other” 

“We were good YN. It was so so good, I just fucked it up. Please give me a chance, I can be better.” 

Your brain told you to block out his words; and deny everything that was coming out of his mouth, but your heart seemed to overpower those commands. “It wasn’t just you Hoonie, I could’ve been better too-” 

“No you were perfect.” he blurted out cutting you off, “I never stopped loving you. Can’t we just, start over?” desperation was an understatement to describe him, god he was a pleading mess. 

You could practically hear your own heart-shattering. “I never stopped loving you either Hoonie. But you’re drunk right now, let’s just talk about this in the morning ‘kay?” 

“Okay but, can I please sleep here?” 

No, he shouldn’t. “Sure hoon”

Sunghoon made his way to the top of your bed, arm reaching out signalling you to come over. A signal you regretfully accepted. You nested yourself between his arms, breathing in his cologne while his chin rested on the top of your head. You hated this, fuck you hated how natural this felt. You hated how easily you could melt into his touch, his words, his scent. You hated how badly you loved it. 

“I love you, my YN” his breath slightly hitched before placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. 

You tried ignoring the lump in your throat but it was no use, the next words that came out of your mouth were swallowed with sniffles and quiet sobs “I love you too hoonie”

Maybe in another universe, you two could’ve talked everything out. Maybe you two could have reconciled and lived happily together again. Maybe the 4 years of dating didn’t disappear in one night. Maybe you two could’ve gotten married like he said. Maybe you lived in a nice 2-bedroom house in the countryside, dogs running around the yard whilst you both basked in the sunlight. Maybe you would have actually had the child you fantasised about. 

Maybe, just maybe, Sunghoon would’ve been there when you woke up the next morning.

perm taglist! (send an ask to be added) @floweryang @cupidhoons @msauthor

[queenofallimagines]

Blue lock NSFW HCs

A/n: so since I’ve let this anime take over my life completely I feel I’m overqualified to give better hcs and since I don’t have a specific scenario in this is general headcanons💕 (pls request blue lock I have brainworms)

Blue lock:

- off the bat isagi telling us he has a thigh fetish is so real it me he keeps his hands on your thigh at all times

- Really one hand on the steering wheel the other just barely in your pants fingering you

- They all kinda got that sauce in ‘em yk?

- Isagi can say “pretty thing” or “sweetness” in that low ass voice and it will have you on your knees

- NAGI CALLING YOU PRETTY

- Idk WHERE that shit came form but every fic he just calls you pretty and that’s def canon that man is 6”3 so hear me out

- This big ass man who’s usually lazy and barely paying attention putting in that work on you, keeping you pressed into the bed with his full body weight

- Mumbling in your ear in his monotone voice that’s just one octave lover

- “Cmon pretty, gunna come f’me?” he’s looking at you with his egoist eyes

- Will have you in between him and Reo

- Sorry but that’s just as canon as bachira and isagi it’s gunna happen at LEAST once

- Seishiro can run with the best of them w that ego too like he says he’s a pacifist but he’s squared up first on someone like 4 times😭

- He Probably offhandedly mentions something about you in convo with Reo and you’re done for

- They’re like gaming or something and you walk into the room

- “I’ll prove it- hey come here for a sec” and now all of a sudden you’re seated in between his delicious thighs being fingered open by nagi in front of Reo like he’s giving a tutorial😭

- I see y’all’s saying Reo would do that for inexperienced nagi but I raise you that Reo only has casual flings and has been intimate with nagi so he’s not used to their duo being a trio

- Nagi spreading your legs keeping them wide open for Reo to see everything while he leans over your shoulder and makes sure he’s focused on what he’s doing

- Something something good with his givers because gamer

- He’s working you open with his huge fingers almost unbothered by the fact that your squirming and grabbing at his arm

- Reo is a little flustered but he’s def paying attention

- They’re acting like they’re talking about the weather like you not gushing all over his fingers

- Makes you cum like three times this way before he says “Reo is pretty good with his tongue, can he have a taste too?”

- Nagi and his crazy stamina will not let you rest!

- RIN! My beloved baby boy!

- He’s a FREAK like freaky NASTY and mean about it too!

- Little slow on the uptake but once you really start learning about each other he’s working out all his frustrations on you

- Not very emotive but he’s blunt so he will make his feelings perfectly clear

- Brat tamer by default bc you push his buttons

- “Keep that same energy when I get you alone”

- Fucks you in the locker rooms

- Likes you wearing his jersey while he does it

- Had hella pictures and videos of it too that you don’t remember him taking😭

- Keep him company on his long away games💕

- Everyone knows he’s having good sex bc he has scratch marks all over his back and dares someone to say shit about them

- Since like every single one of his dispositions is bc of Sae you have to be patient with him

- The itoshi issue is that they will have conflicts in their head, decide what YOU are gunna say and make choices silently based off that

- Like bitch if you don’t TALK TO ME??

- Rin will not start the convo and avoid you in a fight bc in his mind he fucked up and you never want to see him again but like did I say that??

- You gotta go to him and be like say what the fuck you’re thinking :/

- Both the itoshi brothers are rough

- Rin will use his insane stamina to fuck you right to sleep like he’s trying to watch a game stop playing w him

- Probably end up fucking you with or in-front of isagi

- One thing about Rin Itoshi is that he has something to prove always

- Sae and shidou you already know lmao

- My favs?? Come the fuck ON they have nasty ass sex daily

- Sae count your fucking days bc imma best your ass 😐

- However,,, the dynamic between him and Ryusei is too tasty to ignore

- Sae and his butt fetish will usually do anal if you’re taking both of them at once

- His dick is really pretty you and shidou have full length discussions about it and he is TIRED

- Sae likes to think he has you two on a leash and for the most part he kinda does

- But you might as well be on demon time too bc once you and Ryusei tag them

- Him??

- The great cold and calculated Sae Itoshi the gem of Japan will be a whiny little Bitch

- Likes to piss you off so you’ll be rough with him and Shidou right there with you

- You’re both fed up with his shit so you decide to punish him

- You edging him while Ryu fucks him mercilessly

- Imagine you’re riding him reverse cowgirl and shidou is fucking him so hard and deep he can’t breathe

- You two doing that whole outwardly ignoring him kissing while he wants you to pay attention to him clawing at your lower back and hips

- Moaning out “sorry” and babbling nonsense

- Cums a lot and it’s thick in consistency

- Whimpers when you and shidou taste him on each other and he can’t kiss either of you

- Tears steaming down his face while he struggles to keep his eyes from rolling back and can barely even say what he wants because he’s moaning so much

- Aftercare is so cute bc you both clean him up and give him as many kisses as he wants

- That really fixes his attitude LMAO

- Isagi can get pretty try mean too you trigger that ego and he’s just as ruthless as he is in the field

- “You think I’m gunna let you cum after you spent all day on my nerves? Be serious”

- He’s big on eye contact

- Will sit back in a chair and stare at you as he makes you ride him with no help

- “Go on, you wanted it, ain’t you?”

- Spanks you hard

- Chigiri hyoma is HUNG

- like oh my god pretty face huge dick

- People paint him as like corset when he’s like really mild mannered and mean? Lmao his egoist profile even says he’s mean

- He’s blunt and says exactly what he means

- If “okay?? AND??” Was a person😭

- Will get choked up if you kiss the scar on his knee when you go down on him

- “Cmon you can take more than that can’t you?”

- He can go fast but likes going slow and deep

- Really savor the moment

- Wants to feel every second of you going up and down his dick

- Meanie!!

- “You’re creaming around me already and I’ve barely made it all the way in”

- Preps you really good before hand too that’s like mandatory even if you’re ready he’s going to have you cum on his tongue or fingers first

- Gets pussy drunk a lot and ends up fucking himself into overstimulation

- Liked his hair pulled on

- Barou? Whew the king definitely deserves that title!

- A big fan of slow and deep like Chigiri

- Will make you face him as he fucks up into you

- “Quit wining and take it, you’re the one who kept begging for me to fuck you all day”

- Will clean the sheets fully after sex like lmao he’s changing the whole bed

- Let’s see hiori too! People like to say the self proclaimed “ultra sadist” as like just a bottom all the time

- He’s more mean and doesn’t care about it

- “Ow! That kinda hurt!”

- “Hm? Good”

- Big fan of face fucking

- Shidou alone is very baby

- I’m his defense lawyer yall like he’s an aquifer taste so you can not like him

- But that’s your fault and a skill issue💅🏿✨

- He’s the unhinged very soon of isagi very emotionally intelligent and can read a room

- He simply does not CARE about others

- Very ‘if people are going to isolate me then I’ll push them away’ vibes

- Like he rly has a connection w the whole cast minus rin and kunigami

- If he hadn’t took a kick at isagi him and bachira would be besties!🥺

- They understand the same type of loneliness

- Back to the horny

- He will split you open on his cock any time of the day

- He’s very god at anatomy and chemistry like look at how tf he talks

- HES LITERALLY A STRAIGHT A STUDENT!

- Has a breeding kink in canon

- “If you keep my cum inside you for the whole game I’ll eat it out of you when we win”

- Cock bastard also

- Rin def walked in on you two once and it haunts him

- Seeing your face utterly fucked out not caring that you’re both locking eyes while shidou who’s blissfully unaware keeps bullying his fat cock into you against the lockers🤭

- He can’t look you in the face for like a month lol

- Chigiri like pegging and kunigami can suck dick rly well

- Don’t ask me how ik I just KNOW Mr. Bisexual representation has had a relationship with a guy who he was intimate with

- Bachira likes to paint your face white

- Loved seeing you with his cum on your face

- Won’t tell you he’s close when you suck him off on purpose sometimes

- “Oops, my bad! You do look pretty like this tho☺️” be so the fuck fr

[dee-writes-smut]

FORGET ME NOTS (Chapter Two)

FEATURING Eris Vanserra x pregnant!reader

SUMMARY settling into The Autumn Court is scary and intimidating especially when a certain fire-blooded male takes a liking to you.

CONTENT WARNINGS vague descriptions of smut, mentions of abuse, Beron (yeah, yall, he's mentioned), Ianthe (cough, cough), vulnerable convos, flashbacks to calanmai, pregnancy, sad Eris :(

AUTHORS NOTE I know this is much shorter than the first chapter, but when I say I struggled to write this chapter, I mean I STRUGGLED. Anywho, I apologize if you guys feel like the pacing of this chapter is kind of fast, I was trying to get a lot of information in all at once so we could move on to the good stuff. Hope you enjoy ;)

SERIES MASTERLIST

As dawn broke over the Autumn Court, the first rays of sunlight crept through the tall, arched windows of my chamber, casting a warm glow that promised a new day. Despite the beauty it heralded, my heart was heavy with secrets I carried, especially now, facing the prospect of daily walks with Eris—a constant reminder of the brother he did not know he shared with me in such a profound way.

I found Eris waiting in the courtyard, his posture relaxed against the cool morning air that whispered through the turning leaves. His presence was both a comfort and a curse, wrapped in the guise of courtly duty.

“Good morning,” he greeted, his voice carrying that ever-present hint of mischief that seemed less charming today, more a wall I needed to scale or perhaps fortify.

I mustered a smile, tight-lipped and brief. “Eris.”

He seemed to notice my cool demeanor, his eyebrows lifting slightly in amusement—or was it challenge? “Shall we begin?”

The gardens of the Autumn Court were undoubtedly beautiful, but I walked beside Eris with a stiffness in my shoulders, an invisible armor against the potential wounds of getting too close. Every step was a reminder of the line I walked, balancing between necessity and fear.

“It’s beautiful here,” I commented, a safe observation as we passed a sprawling bed of flowers, their vibrant hues a stark contrast to the muted turmoil within me.

“It is,” he responded, his eyes briefly meeting mine before returning to the path ahead. “The court has its ways of ensnaring you with beauty, all the while hiding its thorns.”

I couldn’t help but snort softly at that. “Sounds familiar,” I muttered, more to myself than to him.

Eris caught the words, though, and his smile deepened. “Indeed. But sometimes, we find that even thorns have their purpose.”

We walked in silence for a few moments, the only sounds the rustle of leaves and the distant call of court birds. I felt his gaze on me several times, curious or calculating, I couldn’t tell.

“About last night—” I began, but Eris raised a hand, halting my words.

“Today, let’s set aside the past and dealings of courts for now. Let’s walk, talk, and be unburdened, at least for a moment.”

Reluctantly, I nodded, accepting the temporary ceasefire.

Our path took us deeper into the garden, where the foliage grew thicker and the outside noises fell away. Here, the air was cooler, the shadows deeper, and the sense of seclusion more pronounced. Eris seemed more at ease in this part of the garden, his steps unhurried, his eyes occasionally catching the light in a way that softened the usual sharpness.

"This is one of my favorite parts of the garden," he shared, his voice almost contemplative. "There's a peace here that's hard to find elsewhere in the court."

I looked around, taking in the dense greenery that enveloped us, the serene quiet. "It's like a different world," I admitted.

"Yes," he agreed, his gaze lingering on a particularly dense cluster of trees. "A world apart, where one can forget, if only for a moment, the burdens waiting beyond those trees."

As we walked, the conversation slowly shifted from the impersonal — comments on the weather and the garden — to more personal territory. Eris spoke of his childhood in the court, his voice tinged with a nostalgia that painted a picture of a boy who had run through these very paths, wild and unburdened.

I listened, the stories painting a picture of a different Eris, one who had existed before the weight of the court had fully settled upon his shoulders. It was in these stories that I found myself drawn in, my guard lowering just a notch as I began to see the man beneath the prince.

Our walk led us to a secluded spot with a bench overlooking a tranquil pond, a favorite retreat of Eris’s by his own admission. "I come here to think," he said as we sat. "Today, I wanted to share it."

Something in his tone, a rare note of sincerity, made me glance at him. "Thank you," I said quietly, the weight of my secrets making the words heavier than intended.

"Everyone needs a sanctuary," he replied, his voice low, almost reflective. "Perhaps, for now, this can be ours."

As we sat together, the morning light softening around us, a part of me wanted to believe in the sanctuary he offered. But the secrets I held tightened like a noose around my thoughts, a constant reminder of the stakes at play.

For now, this truce would have to do—a brief respite in a garden of hidden thorns.

In the quiet embrace of the garden, Eris and I sat together on a weathered stone bench, enveloped by a tranquil stillness that seemed to stretch on for eternity. The morning sun had just begun its ascent, casting dappled patterns of light and shadow upon the verdant landscape around us. The delicate fragrance of cherry blossoms lingered in the air, mingling with the earthy scent of damp soil and the distant melody of chirping birds.

For what felt like an eternity, we remained ensconced in a shared silence, each lost in our own thoughts amidst the serene beauty of our surroundings. The weight of unspoken words hung heavy between us, a silent barrier that seemed to grow with each passing moment.

As the sun climbed higher in the sky, casting long shadows across the garden, I could no longer bear the oppressive weight of my thoughts in silence. The chirping of birds and the rustling of leaves seemed to mock my inner turmoil, urging me to break free from the suffocating grip of my fears.

Finally, unable to endure the silence any longer, I mustered the courage to speak. "Eris?" The sound of my voice was barely more than a whisper, carried away on the gentle breeze that caressed the garden.

At the sound of his name, Eris stirred from his contemplative reverie, his eyes slowly opening to meet mine. There was a fleeting moment of recognition in his gaze, as if he had been expecting this interruption all along.

He regarded me with a cool detachment, a silent question lingering in the depths of his gaze. It was as though he were silently urging me to articulate the thoughts that had weighed so heavily upon my mind.

Summoning all of my courage, I pressed on, knowing that his patience was not limitless. "I need to speak with you," I said, my voice steadier now, though the weight of my confession hung heavy in the air.

For a moment, there was silence between us once more, the only sound the soft rustle of leaves in the breeze. Then, with a subtle nod of acknowledgment, Eris inclined his head, granting me permission to unburden myself of the secrets that had long weighed upon my soul.

(Calanmai, Fifteen Weeks Ago)

The night of Calanmai unfolded like a grand spectacle, a symphony of sights and sounds that swept through the Spring Court like wildfire. In the heart of the courtyard, beneath a sky ablaze with stars, I found myself ensnared in a whirlwind of tradition and temptation, drawn inexorably towards a destiny I could not yet fathom.

As the festivities reached their crescendo, a hush fell over the gathered throng, anticipation crackling in the air like static electricity. All eyes turned to the dais at the center of the courtyard, where Lucien Vanserra, with his mane of fiery hair and eyes that glinted like shards of emerald, stood poised to perform the Rite—the ancient ritual that ensured the flow of natural magic within the Spring Court.

I watched from the edge of the crowd, my heart pounding in rhythm with the pulsating beat of the drums that echoed through the night. Beside me, Ianthe, with her golden locks and beguiling smile, whispered honeyed words in Lucien's ear, her intentions veiled behind a facade of innocence and charm.

But I knew the truth—the truth that lurked beneath the surface, like a serpent coiled in the shadows, waiting to strike. And so, with a courage born of desperation and defiance, I stepped forward, offering myself as a sacrifice to protect Lucien from the machinations of those who sought to use him as a pawn in their deadly game.

Lucien's eyes widened in surprise and disbelief, his gaze searching mine for the truth hidden beneath the surface. And in that moment, I saw the flicker of gratitude and something deeper—a spark of hope amidst the darkness that threatened to engulf us both.

Together, we slipped away from the crowd, seeking refuge in the sanctuary of the forest that bordered the Spring Court. In the darkness, illuminated only by the soft glow of moonlight filtering through the canopy above, we found solace in each other's arms, our bodies moving in a dance of desperation and desire.

With hesitant hands, Lucien reached out to me, his touch tentative yet determined. There was a solemnity in his gaze, a silent acknowledgment of the sacrifice we were both willing to make in the name of saving the Spring Court from impending doom. Each movement was deliberate, as if he were navigating uncharted waters, unsure of what lay ahead.

As he undressed me, his fingers trailed feather-light over my skin, leaving a trail of heat in their wake. The air crackled with anticipation, heavy with the weight of unspoken words and unfulfilled desires. There was a raw intensity to our connection, a primal need that pulsed beneath the surface, driving us forward even as we teetered on the edge of uncertainty.

Our kisses were slow and languid, each one a silent plea for understanding, for absolution. And as our bodies moved together in a dance as old as time itself, I felt a sense of surrender wash over me, a letting go of the fears and doubts that had plagued me for so long.

With each touch, each caress, we explored the depths of each other's souls, seeking solace in the midst of chaos. And as he spilled his essence inside me, there was a sense of release, a letting go of the burdens that had weighed so heavily upon us.

In the aftermath, we lay entwined beneath the moonlit sky, our breaths mingling in the stillness of the night. There was a peace in that moment, a fleeting respite from the storm that raged around us. And as we lay there, lost in each other's arms, I couldn't help but wonder what the future held for us—for the Spring Court, for our people.

But such thoughts were for another time, another place. In that moment, there was only us, two souls bound together by circumstance and necessity, seeking solace in the midst of turmoil.

(Autumn Court, Present Day)

"What is it, little fox?" Eris's voice, gentle yet tinged with curiosity, pierced the tranquil stillness of the autumnal garden, drawing me from the depths of my reverie. The morning sun, a soft orb of golden light, filtered through the crimson leaves of the ancient oak tree under which we sat, casting a warm glow over the secluded corner of the courtyard.

Eris reclined on the stone bench with an air of effortless grace, his features masked in an enigmatic veil of indifference. His gaze, like liquid mercury, bore into mine with an intensity that sent shivers down my spine, as if he could discern the turmoil that churned within me with unsettling ease.

For a moment, I hesitated, the weight of my confession heavy upon my tongue, like stones in a riverbed. The memory of Lucien, his absence a haunting specter in my heart, mingled with the uncertainty of what lay ahead, casting shadows over the fragile sanctuary we had found amidst the autumnal splendor.

Yet, despite the tempest of emotions that threatened to engulf me, there was an undeniable pull, a magnetic force that drew me inexorably towards Eris, compelling me to lay bare the truth that simmered beneath the surface.

"I—" I began, my voice trembling like the leaves that danced in the breeze, the words caught in the tangled undergrowth of my uncertainty. With a trembling hand, I reached for my tiny bump, a silent testament to the life growing within me, the fragile thread that bound me to a future fraught with peril.

"Eris… I'm scared," I confessed, the admission hanging heavy in the crisp autumn air, a fragile offering of vulnerability laid bare before him. Tears welled in my eyes, their crystalline trails reflecting the kaleidoscope of emotions that churned within me, a tempest threatening to tear me asunder.

It was a truth I had not yet found the courage to share, the truth about my unborn child, about Lucien, about the tangled web of emotions that threatened to ensnare me in their grasp. And yet, as I spoke the words aloud, I felt a sense of liberation wash over me, as if the act of vocalizing my fears had lifted a burden I had long carried in silence.

“I know,” Eris continued after a moment, his voice tinged with a quiet sadness. “When my mother would give birth, my father would have meetings with his counsel and continue about court like nothing important was happening, too caught up in his ambition to even consider loving her. He would leave her to suffer alone, to be in pain, awful pain, alone, while she brought his children into this world,” he took a breath, watching the branches of the great tree sway before looking back to the fountain sitting before us, water streaming softly and glinting in the light of the sun.

“So, once I was old enough to see how wrong it was, I joined her in the birthing rooms. I didn’t care how many times a nurse advised me against it, how much I was beaten afterwords by my father. It wasn’t about any of that. It was about her, it was about not being alone in a time of need, to not be consumed by darkness without a twinkle of light. My mother deserved better. Still does,” Eris sighs, resting his warm hand atop mine on the bench, giving it a small squeeze. “I can not promise profection, I can not promise relief, and I can not promise life, but I can promise that you will not walk in the darkness alone, that I will be right there, by your side as you scream and claw and cry until your babe joins this world. Just as I did for my mother.”

As he spoke, his warm hand found mine on the bench, offering a reassuring squeeze that spoke volumes more than words ever could. "I can't promise perfection," he continued, his gaze steady and unwavering. "I can't promise relief, or even life itself. But I can promise that you won't walk through the darkness alone. I'll be there, by your side, every step of the way."

As the last words of our shared confessions lingered in the air, the atmosphere seemed to soften, infused with a sense of understanding and acceptance. The ancient oak tree above us rustled gently, its branches swaying in a silent dance with the breeze, as if nature itself bore witness to the fragile bond we had formed in this secluded corner of the autumnal garden.

In that moment of quiet introspection, my gaze fell upon a delicate forget-me-not that had nestled itself amidst the fallen leaves at the base of the oak tree. Its petals, a soft shade of blue tinged with hues of violet, seemed to shimmer in the dappled sunlight, a beacon of fragility and resilience amidst the earthy backdrop of the garden.

A sense of recognition washed over me as I regarded the flower, its presence a poignant reminder of the vulnerability we had both shared in this fleeting moment of connection. Like the delicate bloom that dared to flourish amidst the harsh realities of autumn, we too had found strength in our shared vulnerability, forging a bond that transcended the barriers of fear and uncertainty.

With a gentle smile, I reached out to pluck the forget-me-not from its resting place, cradling it in the palm of my hand as a symbol of the bond we had forged amidst the chaos of our intertwined destinies. And as I turned to meet Eris's gaze, I knew that in this fleeting moment of shared vulnerability, we had found not only solace but hope, blooming like the delicate forget-me-not that dared to thrive amidst the changing seasons of our lives.

TAGLIST

@purple-writer8 @defnotlucienvanserra @cherry-cin @julesofvolterra @mirandasidefics @mandziaaa @lilah-asteria @littlestw01f @skylarkalchemist @babypeapoddd @daardyrnitta

[cinnaleaf]

ESSENCE OF US - CH 10: DIVA DOWN [ft. Jude]

Please read responsibly. This fic will get hot and heavy as the story progresses, 18+ only MDNI | READ CH 9 | MASTERLIST | READ CH 11

summary: a fleeting encounter with a mysterious Trent leaves you wondering if fate is playing a bigger match. your paths continue to cross in unexpected places as the fragrances around you mirror the growing tension between you. maybe it's just a coincidence..or maybe its destiny in the making.

warnings: ANGST, language, mentions of anxiety, alcohol use, eventual smut in later chapter genre: angst, fluff, slow(ish) burn romance, brief smau wc: ~8.3k 💌: so chaotic but read the smau, fic lore included

Trent eyed you from across the bar, his hands tightened around his glass while he watched you look unbothered and carefree. He thought maybe you would look his way, take in his outfit, and immediately come over to him. But it didn’t quite work out that way. You were on the other end of the venue, acting like the argument at the gala never happened, talking to a group of random guys you never seen before. You wanted to let Trent know he couldn’t stop you from doing what you wanted to do, you were independent. You didn’t need him. The conversation started off easily as the drinks started flowing, but it took an interesting turn the drunker everyone became. You didn’t know what was happening, but the alcohol had you rocking with it for now.

“You ever think…we’re in a simulation? And there’s just some sick fuck controlling us all?” one of the guys slurred, waving his drink around. 

“Uh…you mean like The Sims?” another guy said, his eyes wide. “But we’re the Sims?”

“YEAH! EXACTLY” the first guy shouted over the music, nodding frantically like he was waiting for someone else to come to the same realization. “You can’t tell me we’re all just on some floating rock. Someone’s gotta be controlling us.”

“Oh my god, you’re right!” You slapped the table and gasped, too intrigued by such a random conversation. “But..whoever is controlling me kind of sucks. They need to use cheat codes or something...my life is in shambles right now. Unless they enjoy my suffering?”

The conversation was innocent enough, but Trent’s jaw clenched watching you talk to the group. He was wondering who those guys were, and why you were so enmeshed in a conversation with them.

Jude raised an eyebrow, watching the scene unfold while leaning against the bar with Trent. “Bro..what did you do? Couldn’t even enjoy my joyride because of you.. now she’s chatting up the lads??”

Trent sighed and ran his hand over his face. “Said something stupid. I should’ve never said it.”

Jude shook his head, “She’s pissed..” He eyed you from across the room, protectiveness etched in his body language. Trent was like a brother to Jude, so naturally he became protective over you too. “You gonna let these guys keep at it?”

Trent’s gaze focused on you across the room as he watched you lean back, laughing a little too hard at something one of the men said. You were obviously drunk, and the conversation was nothing flirty or serious, but from Trent’s perspective it looked like you were having the time of your life – without him. He never saw you let loose like this before and he wished he could join in and laugh with you, but the circumstances were different. Instead, he was stuck at the bar sulking in his white outfit, looking like a surrender flag. All he wanted to do was talk to you and hold you close to him.

“I’m watching bro.” Trent muttered, eyes still fixated on you.

One of the guys in the group threw his arm around your shoulder in a friendly hug, like one of the hugs you have after a good convo with a stranger you’ll never see again, but to Trent it was too much. He was jealous. Jude glanced between you and Trent, sighing watching this all play out. “You’ll drive yourself mad if you don’t do something.”

Trent didn’t respond right away, he just slowly slipped his drink. He didn’t want to drink too much tonight. He wanted to take the edge off, but he also needed to stay sober enough to make sure you were okay by the end of the night. Watching you like this definitely fueled his frustration though. The longer he watched, the more he felt like he was losing you. He didn’t want that. Not now, not ever.

"She’s just drunk Jude," Trent said, trying to convince himself as well.

Jude shook his head, watching you laugh at something that couldn't have been that damn funny. “That’s still your girl. Sort it out mate.. before those lads get too comfortable.” They both flicked their gaze over to you, watching as you linked your arms with the same guy to take a shot. He hated how you were ignoring him, acting like he wasn’t there. He couldn’t stand it anymore and pushed himself off the bar to straighten his jacket. “I’ll sort it.”

You were mid laugh, the alcohol making you feel light enough to enjoy the dumbest conversations with strangers..until Trent popped up. You turned your head and locked eyes with Trent as he walked over to you.

“Y/N..you okay?” Trent asked carefully, not wanting to set you off again.

You rolled your eyes and swayed a little from the alcohol in your system. “Ughhh, Trent please. I’m just having fun. Pleaseee let me have some fun.” The words came out in a playful tone, not taking the situation seriously like he wanted you to. The guy from earlier laughed when he picked up on the tension between you and Trent. He smiled at Trent, not offended in the slightest. “I’m gay, love! We were just having a bit of a chat about you. Gorgeous girl by the way!”

You sighed dramatically, rolling your eyes again until you saw a glimpse of Camille entering the club with Jules. Your entire demeanour shifted into pure happiness, squealing with drunken excitement as you stumbled away from Trent to rush to your bestie. “Oh my goddd, Camilleeeee! Where have you been?” you giggled, bringing her into a hug as you continued to sway around, yapping incessantly. “I missed you! Where did you and Jules go? Did you have funnnn?”

Camille’s eyes darted over you and Trent before she quickly pulled your dress down that was riding dangerously high. “Umm..I’ll tell you when you’re not such a blabbermouth.. missed you too though” she teased, but she softened when she noticed how off kilter you were. “Babe..are you okay? Come with me for a sec.” You nodded, still giggling as she pulled you toward the restroom.

“OH MY DAYS! Both of you are so stunning!” A girl in a low cut top squealed as soon as she saw you and Camille walk in. She pointed at your dress, eyes filled with adoration. “That dress?! Soooo hot!!!” Her friend was busy fixing her lip gloss, but turned around to join in. “No, seriously. Both of you look so good.”

You giggled drunkenly, waving them off playfully. “Stooop. It’s not even that cute.” You had to admit the attention was making you feel a bit better though. 

“I’m so serious. If I looked like you, I couldn’t be humble..you literally won the genetics lottery.”

The energy in the room was contagious. Nearly everywhere you looked, all the girls were gassing each other up and becoming temporary best friends for the next 15 minutes. In the corner, a girl was crying in the arms of a friend who was rubbing her back and giving all the classic lines: “He’s so dumb. He doesn’t even deserve you.. let alone tears. Fuck him! Block his ass!”

You stumbled over to the mirror with Camille, and she looked at you with a serious expression. “Are you okay?” she asked, moving your hair out of your face. “What’s going on with you and Trent?”

You shrugged looking in the mirror while fidgeting with the ‘T’ necklace around your neck. Your eyes were glassy, half lidded and dazed from all the drinks. “Oh my god I’m so drunk,” you slurred, looking at your drunk reflection. “I’m fine.. but Trent pissed me off earlier. This night has been so weird. I just wanna have fun y’know?” Camille tilted her head to the side, but before she could say anything, one of the girls chimed in. “Whaaat? Trouble in paradise?” She sounded a little too invested. “Did he apologize at least?”

You rolled your eyes dramatically, still hovering over the mirror. “No..he didn’t. He’s so fucking annoying but he looks sooo good out there. I’d literally jump his bones right now if I wasn’t so mad at him.” Camille laughed but quickly shushed you, “Y/N, shhh girl! You’re talking too much.” You waved her off, tilting your head back to stare at the ceiling. “It’s whatever. I’m nobody important Camille, no one cares.” you muttered. 

The girl who was consoling her crying friend perked up. “Waiiit,” she said, pulling out her phone with a grin. “Quick girls therapy sesh. Let’s talk about how stupid men are.” She angled her phone toward you and Camille without hesitation, recording both of you. “Mmkay ladies, what’s the worst thing about men? Tell us all your icks!”

Camille thought for a second and then smiled into the camera, “My ick is when they take pics and look around at anything but the camera. Just take the fucking picture like a normal person.”

You giggled, stumbling into the shot. “Mine is when they think looking good will solve everything. It’s like...okay and?? What now? I need more than a pretty face. Communicate! Apologize!!”

“One hundred percent,” another girl jumped in, waving her hands around for emphasis. “Just say what you mean and stop talking in circles. And ban them from having podcasts too.”

“No, the podcast thing is so real. They have so much audacity it’s almost sickening,” someone else added. “Take their damn mics away.”

“Speaking of audacity..can we fucking talk about Jude Bellingham?” the crying girl from earlier suddenly shouted. “I just saw him out there talking with some girl and I’m in here crying like a dumbass. Ugh, fuck him.”

Your eyes widened and you leaned in closer, fully invested. “JUDE?! Nooooo, not Jude,” you slurred dramatically, almost tripping over your own legs. “What did he do?” 

The girl nodded furiously, “He ghosted me this week and now I see why. He’s finished. Like I’m never talking to him again.”

Camille gasped, “Oh my god..”

The room erupted with chatter while other girls jumped into the video to shout their complaints and frustrations with men, the camera capturing every second. The girl recording pointed her phone at you one last time as you headed out the restroom with Camille, “Seriously..stay single girlies! Not worth it! Love you all!” You waved at the girls, blowing kisses as you stumbled out the door.

Camille laughed, shaking her head. “Babe, you’re a mess right now.”

You looked over to where the boys were sitting, noticing Jude was sitting with a girl who was definitely not the Canarian girl from the gala nor the girl from the restroom. “That boy is up to no good. But I’m the messy one?”

“Can we dance? I really wanna dance” you added, stumbling and pulling your best friend to the dance floor without giving her much of a choice in the matter. 

Camille and you made your way to the dance floor, your steps unsteady but determined. Camille glanced over to the bar to catch the bartender’s eye, signalling with a quick gesture to let him know you were cut off for the night. Camille was a little buzzed, but she handled her alcohol a lot better than you. You weren’t a lightweight, but you weren’t a hardcore drinker either; you were just someone who wanted to retreat for a little while.

The beat of the music pulled you in and you started to sway your hips, Camille moving in sync with you in seconds as the two of you lost yourselves in the rhythm of the music for the next hour and a half. You knew Trent was probably staring, so you looked over to where the boys were. Jules was sitting back with a grin, watching the two of you with a good humoured glint in his eyes. He was enjoying the show, mainly focused on Camille, but was still hyping you up too by throwing his hands in the air to the beat.

Jude on the other hand, was too busy making out with a girl to notice anything else going on around him. She didn’t look like the girl you saw him with an hour ago…or was it? You squinted a little, noticing it was the same girl from the restroom. You could’ve sworn she said she was finished with him, but it’s whatever – liquid courage makes you do some strange things and you really had no room to talk.

When your eyes made it to Trent, he wasn’t smiling. He was leaned forward with his hands clasped together, watching your every move. He looked so good you almost lost the beat. Without thinking, you bent over to give him something to really look at, your frustration becoming laced with desire. A rush of adrenaline surged through you knowing he was watching your every move, but eventually the frustration overpowered the desire when you replayed the argument in your head from earlier. He called you a problem, like you were something that needed to be dealt with and not his girlfriend. You told yourself you were dancing to forget him, uncertainty wavering in your drunk mind. That was a lie. You wanted him to apologize and fix things, but instead he was just sitting around pleading with his eyes.

“Do you want to go talk to him?” Camille asked, sensing the type of energy you were on.

“No.” you said sharply. You didn’t really mean that, but you were trying to keep the mess in your head from unravelling. Dancing didn’t feel fun anymore, you were drained. The alcohol numbed your body but you were starting to feel all the emotions you tried to push back. Every time you mixed business with pleasure things seemed to get so messy. How were you supposed to fix this? You didn’t have the capacity for a larger batch of Rêveur, nor did you have the capacity for relationship problems. You had enough going on as is.

Camille looked at you and brushed a stray hair out of your face. “Let’s take a break, yeah? You need water.”

You nodded lazily and made your way back to the section the boys were sitting in. Without thinking, you stumbled over to Trent and plopped down in his lap. He stiffened for a second, unsure if he should wrap his arms around your waist like he normally did. Instead, he shifted his posture slightly to adjust to your tired state, giving you space to make sure you were comfortable.

“Here, hydrate,” Camille said softly, handing you some water. “No more drinks tonight, you’re done. Finie.” You took the water, sipping slowly to cool yourself down from the dancing and heat of the alcohol feuling through your bloodstream. You eyed Trent, noticing how good he looked and you got irritated all over again. He wasn’t saying anything, just letting you rest; which was extremely frustrating yet also comforting. You pointed your finger at him, your voice wobbling from alcohol and emotion. “Y-you..pissed me off tonight Trent.” He wasn’t apologizing or trying to fix things, he was just there and it made you want to scream. 

“I’m so mad at you,” you added with a trembling lip. “Why do you have to look so good when I’m mad at you?” You shifted slightly to lay on his chest and he adjusted again to make sure you were comfortable, even if it meant some of his limbs were falling asleep from the awkward angle. He didn’t say anything back, he just let you talk which made your heart ache. Trent loved hearing your voice, regardless of if you were tearing into him or not.

“Why won’t you talk to me? Do you really think I’m a problem??” you slurred, pain in every word. “You didn’t even apologize so you must really feel that way..” You negated the fact that you weren’t really giving him an opportunity to speak earlier, but you felt like if he really wanted to apologize he would’ve said it, especially right now, when he had the perfect opening.

Trent’s jaw clenched listening to you, and you could tell he was struggling to keep his emotions in. His hand hovered over your waist like he was going to touch you, but he stopped himself and sighed. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow,” he said softly in a calming voice. “You’re drunk.”

“I’m not that drunk,” you muttered, but you were, in fact, that drunk.

You lifted your hand and lazily trailed your fingers to trace the line of his jaw, forcing him to meet your gaze. You wanted to kiss him so badly, but his words from earlier still stung. You sighed as the exhaustion from the night took over. “Everything is so fucked. I don’t know what to do. The Rêveur orders..I didn’t–”

Trent gently cut you off before you could tell him what happened, “We’ll figure it out.”

You wanted to believe him but the launch, his words from earlier, alcohol, and the way he was just sitting there, not apologizing, made you feel extremely exhausted.

“I wanna go,” you said, admitting defeat. “Can we please leave? I don’t want to be here anymore.”

“Yeah, let’s go,” Trent replied without any hesitation.

Camille kept an eye on the situation from where she was sitting with Jules. She knew something deeper must’ve happened between the two of you for your mood to be shifting so chaotically. “You sure, Y/N? I can come with you if you want..” she offered, sensing you may have needed a best friend to lean on for the night and not a boyfriend. You gave her a tired smile and shook your head. “Nooo. Enjoy your night with Jules.” Camille asked again, but you told her it was fine, and she eventually called for a car to take you and Trent back to the hotel.

Jude noticed as the two of you moved around, standing up just as the car arrived. “Wait a minute,” he called out to you both. “I’m gonna go check outside.” The girl sitting next to him scoffed and rolled her eyes. “What the fuck, Jude? You’re going to act like I’m not right here? Again?” He rolled his eyes before looking over his shoulder as he walked away, annoyed that she was being clingy. “Get over it. They’re family. I barely know you.” 

Outside, he checked for any prying eyes or cameras. The last thing you needed was another Paris moment, especially when you weren’t as put together. He remembered his mishap back in Le Marais and acted accordingly this time. Once the coast was clear, Jude waved Trent over so that he could bring you to the car. Trent helped you inside, buckling your seatbelt before getting in the car himself. Jude leaned in through the open door, his voice low and serious. “Mate, figure it out before it’s too late. Don’t let her go.” Trent nodded with a tight jaw, shutting the car door. He usually wasn’t this quiet, but your reaction to the events that unfolded tonight had him concerned. He knew you had anxiety, but he didn’t understand the scope of it. He heard you mention how difficult your parents were, and your ex, but he didn’t know how deeply it affected you under stress. The last thing he wanted to do was send you into a spiralling mess, yet one dumb remark in a fit of anger and jealousy did exactly that. 

You groaned, which brought him out of his thoughts. “T..I feel like I’m gonna be sick,” you mumbled with your head slumped against the seat. 

You being blitzed out paired with the twists and turns of the mountainous roads weren’t helping the situation, making your stomach churn with waves of nausea at every slight movement. Trent let the window down slightly to let some fresh air sweep through the car. “Breathe, baby” he said gently, glancing over at you every once in a while. “Tell me if we need to stop, yeah?” You nodded, closing your eyes to focus on the fresh air wafting the car. Eventually, you found yourself leaning on his chest as his heartbeat thudded in tandem with the hum from the car. 

By the time you made it back to the hotel suite, you were beyond finished. Every step you took felt like you were being weighed down by sand bags. Trent stayed nearby without being overbearing to make sure you didn't fall over and get hurt. You sighed, slumping against the wall as you threw your purse on a chair in the room. “Can you help me?” you whispered shakily. “I’m so tired.” Trent searched your eyes, hesitating a little. “Are you sure?” he asked gently, not wanting to cross any lines in your fragile state.

“Yes...please” you murmured, stumbling toward the bathroom as you fumbled with your dress zipper. Your vision was still hazy and your fingers weren’t cooperating. Trent walked in, carefully unzipping the dress with an extremely delicate touch. He placed the dress aside and grabbed your makeup wipes out of your washbag. You sat on the bathroom countertop and he tilted your face toward him while wiping the makeup off your face.

“Why can’t you just say sorry?” you suddenly asked, your voice teetering with various emotions. He paused a little, looking at you carefully. “I’m sorry,” he whispered softly, giving you unwavering eye contact. 

“No..” you sighed, wiping away a tear that spilled from your eye. “I want you to mean it. You’re just saying that right now because it’s what I want you to say.” Trent exhaled, running a hand over his hair. “Y/N, I do mean it. But we can’t have this conversation while you’re like this.”

“Like what?” you cracked, tears starting to well up again. “Like a problem?” You turned away from him, hopping off the countertop to head to the shower. “You know what? Don’t even answer that. Goodnight, Trent.” Trent stood there, watching you pull yourself together just enough to crawl into bed. He wanted to say more, but it seemed like anything he said set you off even more. Once in bed you turned your back to him, still quietly sobbing while he laid beside you staring at the ceiling. He wanted to reach out and hold you, but he didn’t – he knew you needed space. Instead, he listened to every sob as it ripped away at him piece by piece, until you finally drifted off to sleep. 

Trent went into his thoughts to replay the night over and over, searching for the exact moment everything went wrong. It started with Ziggy. Trent knew your brother and sister were your everything. Yet he sat there, stewing in his own jealousy over something that was insignificant in your relationship, not listening to an important part of your world. Ziggy wasn’t the problem. Jules and the guys at the afterparty weren’t the problem. You weren’t the problem. 

He was the problem.

Trent’s hand clenched into a fist near his side. What the hell was wrong with him? This wasn’t just jealousy, it was insecurity. Not because you had your own money and own thing, but because he felt like he was breaking his promise to you. He promised to never hurt you, to give you everything you need. Instead, he let something ugly consume him on what was supposed to be a fun night for you. He thought about how you really wanted the night to go smoothly, and he ruined it all. Trent shifted in the bed, trying to find some comfort but his mind was racing. He adjusted his pillow and pulled the blankets closer but none of it seemed to work. It wasn’t just about physical comfort though, he was uncomfortable from the emotions swirling around him too, and he couldn’t relax. He sighed, shuffling around as the sheets rustled beneath him. He was trying so hard to fall asleep, but it wouldn’t come. He rubbed his hand over his face in frustration, but then you stirred next to him and he froze, not sure if you were waking up or just as uncomfortable as him.

Next to him, you moved closer in your sleep instinctively, like your body sensed he was restless even when you weren’t awake to witness it yourself. You hooked your leg over his waist and slid your arm over his chest, your face nestling in the space between his neck and shoulder. Trent could feel the warmth of your breath on his skin as you settled into him, his tense body finally relaxing. He could smell the faint hint of your body wash and the fresh notes of your lotion intermingling on your skin, the smell calmed him and eventually lulled him into a deep sleep. That moment didn’t fix any of the issues you were having, but it comforted both of you in a way that only two lovers who are drawn to each other like magnets can find, even in the midst of pandemonium. No matter what, the two of you always felt that gravitational pull to each other.  

While you slept, your mind drifted off into the dream realm. At Anfield, the sounds of fans chanting reverberated through the air, but it wasn’t exciting for you. It felt like you were caught in between two worlds you couldn’t reach. Down on the pitch, Ziggy was in Liverpool’s kit right beside Trent, moving across the pitch in striking parallels. Trent scanned the field, locking his eyes on your brother as he set up a cross. Ziggy met the ball at his boot, sending it barrelling to the back of the net with precision. The crowd erupted in a roar so loud that you could feel it vibrating through your body. Trent and Ziggy ran toward each other, doing an iconic celebration you had never seen before, but people in the stands loved it. It almost felt destined, like they were the perfect duo. But then everything shifted and Ziggy’s kit faded, morphing into an opponent’s kit. The crowd’s roar of approval shifted into loud boos. The atmosphere darkened and lightning struck the pitch. There was a ref in the field holding up a card, but you couldn’t see what color the card was. There was tension and hostility in the air as the crowd turned to you, a loud chant echoing louder and louder.

“She’s the problem!” they screamed. 

You tried to figure out what was happening but it all felt disorienting, like you were stuck in limbo. Just as quickly as it happened, the scene glitched again. The stadium faded to black and you found yourself standing in a park. Trent and Ziggy were there again, but you blinked and they morphed into two small figures, one with your brother’s smile, and the other with Trent’s expressive eyes. They were playing in sync until they turned to you, freezing in place. The small figures started speaking to you, but it wasn’t really something that you could understand. Their voices were distorted and echoed in a foreign yet acquainted way, like something stuck in between the present reality and another one. 

“See us ‘mee? No go, no go. Yook! Skore!!!” a tiny voice screamed animatedly.

The other small figure dribbled a football, shuffling their feet around much like your brother used to do when he was small.

“Moomee? No catch! Come! Pick up with Dadoo?”

The identical figure next to the other one spoke in a soft little voice that was almost pleading, with puppy dog eyes. “‘Mee? Big soon like Bubby..when come? Wait too many suns and moons…”

They tilted their head, waiting for a response from you. But you couldn’t understand them, nor could you talk. It was like you were frozen in time. Their childlike voices grew louder until it became overwhelming, and then everything faded to black. You slipped into a deeper sleep, slightly shifting in bed as you fell into dreamless sleep.

Next to you, Trent was in his own dreamlike state. He was skating on an ice rink nestled in the middle of a large city with towering buildings. The city was lit up with holiday lights and a tall Christmas tree was covered in twinkling decorations. He watched you skate ahead of him as your laughter echoed around the rink. 

“You’re going so slow, baby. Come on!”

He was trying to catch up, but you were faster than him on ice. When he finally caught up to you, he grabbed your waist from behind. You leaned into him, your breath visible in the cold air as you spoke softly, “This is perfect, huh? So dreamy with all the snow. It feels like we’re in a movie.” 

Trent smiled, placing a kiss on your cheek. “Yeah, definitely my favorite moment with you. What was that film called again?”

“Serendipity!”

You were peaceful in this dream, smiling the entire time as the two of you skated around the rink under the moonlight and Christmas lights. There was a small box in his pocket, but he couldn’t pull it out for some reason, the weight of it felt way too heavy. Then the scene shifted and ice started to crack underneath his skates. Webbed cracks spread across the icy surface and you began to slip out of Trent’s grasp, fading further and further away until you were nothing but a silhouette on ice. He suddenly felt like he was being swallowed by the concrete jungle, calling out your name in a panicked shriek, but he couldn’t find you anywhere. Trent’s eyes fluttered open, his heart racing from the nightmare he just had, but it slowed when he noticed you were still laying peacefully nestled on his chest. He kissed the top of your forehead, just to convince himself this was real and he wasn’t dreaming.

The next morning, sunlight riveted off the snow capped Alps and harshly blanketed your eyes when you finally stirred awake. You blinked, trying to adjust to the brightness shining through the windows and balcony. The throbbing in your head reminded you of the chaotic events of last night. You groaned, covering your face with a pillow as the full force of your hangover took over your body. It felt like someone was pounding steel drums inside your skull. On top of that, your mouth was dry as if you hadn’t drank any water for the past week. You were also feeling nauseated, questioning every drink you had last night. Was it the lemon drops? You could’ve sworn you weren’t that drunk, but your body told a whole different story. And what the hell was that dream? You tried to sit up, but your head started spinning like you were on a neverending carousel, eventually making you slump back down in the bed.

“Ugh” you mumbled to yourself, rubbing your head. Camille was right about cutting you off last night. If you felt like this now, you couldn’t imagine how you would’ve felt if you kept drinking.

“How are you feeling? You alright?” Trent’s voice cut through your headache, making you wince. You didn’t realize he woke up before you, but he was already dressed, scrolling through his phone. You glanced at him, your annoyance flared back up from the events of last night. Trent was already getting up and moving around to grab some water and painkillers before you could answer his question.

“Take ‘em” he said, holding both out to you as he stood next to the bed. “You’ll feel better.”

You took the pills and downed the water in one go, despite the queasiness settling in your stomach. Trent watched you closely, but didn’t say much else.

“I..need to tell you something,” you said seriously, your voice raspy from the morning and dryness in your throat. He looked at you with his brows knitted, waiting for you to continue. “The launch...for Rêveur,” you started. “I don’t even know what happened but something’s not right.”

“What do you mean? What’s not right?”

You paused, wincing because his voice was a little louder than you could handle at the moment due to your splitting headache. “Someone came up to me at the gala and said it went viral..that it wasn’t sold out yet.. I haven’t even checked the website. I tried last night and I couldn’t pull it up.” Trent didn’t say anything, he just nodded like he was internally processing everything you were saying, slowly becoming aware of why you were so off kilter last night. It wasn’t just about the argument anymore. Trent grabbed his iPad and handed it to you. “Log in and see. We’ll fix it.”

After a deep sigh you took the iPad from him, your fingers trembled as they hovered over the login screen. The brightness from the screen had you squinting your eyes. You logged into the dashboard and your worst fear became reality..again. The sheer number of orders on the screen overwhelmed you; there were thousands of orders, far more than you could ever fulfill on your own at Les Notes d’Amour. Your pulse quickened, noticing the order limit was set to unlimited.

Oh my god..No, no no. I don’t have enough.

You could’ve sworn you told Tara and Ember to set it to a specific number. What happened? Trent glanced at the iPad after sensing you freeze up, and quickly tapped his finger over the button to stop more orders from coming in. You didn’t have much time to process his action or tell him thank you before a wave of nausea made you bolt to the bathroom, the sound of your retching echoing over the porcelain. Trent was following close behind, and knelt down next to you to rub your back.

“I’m sorry Y/N” he said softly. “I didn’t mean what I said last night…”

You wiped your mouth with a tissue, feeling grossed out and completely drained. “Do we really need to talk about this right now?” you mumbled, not wanting to have such a dramatic convo while you were in the middle of releasing alcohol demons. “I just want you to know” he continued, still rubbing your back. “I don’t think you’re a problem. What I said was dumb on my part.” You paused, realizing you finally got the apology you wanted..but it didn’t make you feel any better. 

“It feels like I am,” you croaked. You stood up slowly, wiping a tear from your cheek. “Can you give me a minute, please? I need to be alone,” you asked, motioning for him to leave. Trent nodded reluctantly, hovering over the door frame for a bit before finally closing the door behind him. As soon as he left, the sobs you were holding in escaped, stinging your face with saltiness from your tears. You slowly got yourself together between sobs by brushing your teeth and splashing water on your face.

Once you finally emerged with a new change of clothes, Trent was sitting on the edge of the bed, scrolling through his phone again. He looked up at you, his face softened. “Booked a day at the spa for you,” he revealed quietly. “Invite Ezzie and Camille if you want. Thought you could use a little relaxation.” You appreciated his gesture, but gifts weren’t going to fix everything.

“Thanks T,” you responded in a low voice, your throat still burning. You sighed, folding your arms. “And I hear you, I really do. But it doesn’t change what happened...your actions I mean.”

Trent stood up with a look of frustration and pain on his face. “I apologized..I don’t know what else to do? I love you Y/N..I’m trying. Why can’t you see that?"

You sighed, hiding your hands in your face before glancing back at him. “I love you too..but there’s just so much going on. It’s hard to navigate it all at the same time..”

He stared back at you with a hurt look on his face, but he tried to keep his emotions in check, switching the conversation to something more domestic to gauge your attitude with him, but it crumbled in his face. “You’re still coming back to England with me, right? Flight leaves later today.”

“I don’t know T. I need to stay focused..I don’t need any distractions” you said flatly.

“So I’m a distraction now?”

“Nooo. That’s not what I meant.” you said, feeling the tension increase. “I just..think we need to focus on our careers. There’s so much on the line. Some days apart may help me focus on figuring out this launch disaster.”

“So what’s that mean? You’re not coming to the match next weekend?” Trent’s jaw clenched, his eyes watering slightly with flutters of anger and sadness.

“I don’t know Trent..but I really need to figure this Rêveur thing out. I can’t risk anything else going wrong, you know that.”

Silence settled over the room, both of you unsure of what to say next. You leaned in and gave him a hurried peck on the lips, but it didn’t feel like your usual kisses. It was more closed off, more jaded, and both of you felt it.

“I’ll see you later?” you added, grabbing your things to head out the door, the conversation far from resolved.

“Yeah....see you later.” Trent replied quietly, staring at the door as it closed behind you. 

When you made it to the spa, a calming scent of cedarwood and eucalyptus wafted through the air. You could see a view of the snow-covered Swiss Alps through the large windows and heard a faint trickle of water from a heated swimming pool nearby. Although the tranquil environment was nice, you still felt like shit. The nausea from earlier had not fully left your system, you were still feeling groggy from your headache, and still light sensitive – standing in front of huge windows that let every bit of light in. You winced, lounging in a seat next to Camille and Ezzie. Ezzie was buried in her phone like any other teen would be, but then she glanced at you for a second, frowning with an offended look on her face.

“Ew. Why did you come out looking like that?” she voiced in an insulted tone. Camille giggled, flashing you a cheeky grin. “Mmh yeah, you do look rough..sorry girl. A spa day will fix that though, right?” she quipped, being more gentle with her teasing since she knew about the type of night you had. You groaned, rolling your eyes at both of them. “Thanks. Because hearing that is definitely going to make me feel soooo much better,” you refuted sarcastically. You were trying to play it off, but you did feel like absolute shit, they weren’t wrong. You were never drinking again, or so you said.

“Don’t hold out on me..what’s really going on?” Camille asked.

You sighed, sinking into the chair. “The website got messed up and the Rêveur preorders are way more than what I can handle. Like thousands and thousands more. Complete fucking disaster. I have no clue what I’m–”

“Let me help you” Camille cut you off, pure sincerity in her voice. “You can use my private label manufacturer and it’ll be fine. Problem solved. So easy.”

You groaned, shaking your head. “Camille, no. I can’t have you pulling me out of everything constantly.” Camille turned toward you and sat up, deadpanning on you. “Y/N. Listen to me when I say this, okay?”

“We’ve already told everyone this is for charity. You can’t risk the bad press for not delivering on something like that. They’ll eat you and Trent alive. I have the resources. Let. Me. Help. You.”

You were taken aback, not originally thinking about the effect this situation could have on Trent’s career as well, you didn’t want that. You thought for a moment, trying to think of any other solution that you could come up with on your own, but none were better than Camille’s. Finally, you agreed, feeling irritated that you had to have Camille bail you out of something business related again. You were thankful for the help, but the whole situation really irked you. This was something you were supposed to be handling on your own.

“Fine. I’ll do it. I don’t want them ripping him apart for my own mistake. I really should’ve checked. It’s so frustrating..” 

Camille smiled at you, surprised you were able to cave in so easily this time. “Don’t stress about it babe, it’ll be taken care of and we’ll laugh about it a couple years from now.” You nodded and the space between you grew quiet for a couple of minutes, until you looked over at Camille smirking. “So umm...what did you and Jules do after the gala? I swear I didn’t see you at the afterparty until it was half way over. Did you...?” you trailed off, giving her a look without saying it outright. You glanced over at your younger sister who was glued to her phone, watching a Tik Tok about upcoming fashion trends.

Camille sighed dramatically, denying it initially. “No. Just took a nice stroll at midnight in St. Moritz…” You tilted your head, pursing your lips to give her another knowing glance. “Midnight in St. Moritz??? Be fucking for real..you strolled right into his dick didn’t you?”

“Okay..fine. YES! I did..”

You both squealed, bursting into giggles. “I knew it! Tell me everything. Ooh, did he whisper something French in your ear? Because that woulda got me too, not even gonna lie.” you spoke in a hushed tone, leaning in closer to Camille for all the dirty details. “How was it?”

“Earth shattering” Camille whispered excitedly. “Jules slept like a baby in my bed last night,” she added with a smirk. You gasped, patting her shoulder in excitement. “Oh my goddd. I need all the details later. Give me the report...scale of 1-10?”

“20.” Camille bit her lip, smiling. “That’s not all we did though. We’re definitely due for a girls night in..tell you then?”

“TWENTY?! Oh, I can’t wait to hear about this!”

On the other side of you, Ezzie had her earbuds in, occasionally glancing at both of you wondering what the two of you were yapping about. Maybe it was about the afterparty? She was mostly busy taking selfies and scrolling through her phone, having her own version of a relaxing spa experience – far away from a boring conversation with 20 something year olds.

After a couple more minutes of banter with Camille, she turned the conversation back to you and Trent, her voice more serious. “What about you and Trent? What’s going on?” You rolled your eyes, starting to feel the weight of last night and early morning. “Ughhh, please. Let’s not. We’re fine..it's just a rough patch. We just need to communicate better.” Camille didn’t push further, but she wasn’t buying how casual you were about it. You leaned back in your chair, closing your eyes to relax, but Ezzie’s voice suddenly cut through.

“Umm..have you guys seen this stuff online??”

You peeked through one eye, glancing at her. “Huh? What stuff?”

Ezzie didn’t look up her phone, but she continued scrolling. “There’s some video of you yelling about staying single...and they saw you walk in with Jude instead of Trent?? There’s people in the comments talking about Ziggy too....”

Camille blinked, sitting up straighter. “Wait what? Why would they be talking about Isaac?”

Ezzie flipped her phone around to show you her feed, where the video from last night’s drunken therapy session had gone viral, as well as a photo of you walking into the afterparty with Jude.

You groaned, burying your face in your hands. “Fuck.”

Camille shook her head as she read, speaking in a sing-songy voice to mock your words from last night. “Y/N..What happened to ‘I’m no one important Camilleee’?” 

--

SpillTheBeansUK: Messiest. Night. Ever. It seems like the gala was less about charity and more about… arguing, scouting, and spilling more than just champagne 🍾 Stay tuned for more from our source.

user440991: I’m so confused.. why did she walk in with Jude and not Trent?

JudeEffect: I bet they’re in a throuple she’s so lucky

MeHonestly: TRENT AND JUDE? Sign me the fuck up

OohNoGirl02: Not her walking in with Jude looking like THAT

insidethegala: Saw T and Y/N at the gala, ngl they looked off after the launch went live. Looks like Y/N spilled a bit about it here 🧐

TeaLover99: Y/N’s face when that girl dropped the tea on Jude has me dyingg

nofitpicagain: no fit pic from Trent? he hates me fr lolgirlwhut: her telling us to stay single and she’s not even living that life? girl bye

YNstan4life: I SWEAR I saw Y/N with Trent’s family a couple months ago and now it’s like she just vanished? wtf is happening? are they pretending for the perfume drop?!

fangirlzunite: Do we think Y/N will be sitting in the box at the next match?? Haven’t seen her there in a minute

PitchGossiper: Y/N is the kind of messy I love to see. Fighting with Trent, walking into the party with Jude, saying ‘stay single’ in a club bathroom. ICON

GirlWhatNonsense: what if T and Y/N’s whole relationship is a PR stunt? the aftershave, hard launch, the gala drama… it’s giving manufactured vibes idk TeaTime66: no way that Tea with T vid was fake. That was real love 

GalaInsider2: Saw Trent talking to Isaac YLN. Y/N has the same surname. Is that her brother?

knowitall: That is her brother! That boy’s like lightning on the pitch. He’s fast as hell 🔥

unitedinsider: Wouldn’t be surprised if we lock him down..he has the ability to play multiple positions. He's a serious threat.

nowaymate: Y/N and Trent better get lil bro to Anfield. That boy can’t end up at United or anywhere else. That’s betrayal!!

YNhatersquad: No one else sees Y/N’s using Trent to set her brother up in the football world? She’s been playing chess

YNSupremacy: Y/N is building a dynasty brick by brick. Imagine if they have kids! This woman is crafting more than just fragrances! 

AdvancedMothering: waiiit a YLN-Alexander-Arnold bloodline is acc kinda scary to think about. this girl literally holds the future of liverpool in her uterus and she’s telling US to stay single??? i’m scared of her ReverieGirl: I was at the gala… saw Isaac talking to a couple of important people.. and then Trent 👀

laligaluv: all this hype just for her bro to end up in la liga lol

gossipgirlie: ummm this whole night sounds like an episode of Pretty Little Liars. They literally did everything last night except murder

YNandTrentpls: The duality of Y/N 💅

--

While you were at the spa, Trent headed off to the gym to clear his head. A workout would help him reset, so he thought. Just as he finished the session, he spotted someone in the corner messing with their gym bag. Trent didn’t notice it was Ziggy at first because his back was turned, but he noticed some boots poking out of the bag that looked eerily familiar. Multiple memories from years ago flashed across Trent’s mind and curiosity got the best of him.

“I had some boots like those,” he said casually, thinking he was striking up a convo with a stranger. He picked up one of the boots, inspecting it closely. “Gave ‘em to a lad at the park a long time ago.”

Ziggy turned around slowly and a strange expression crossed his face when he looked at Trent, as if he was seeing him through two lenses: one from the past, and one from the present. He glanced at the boot in Trent’s hand, his voice shaking with emotion. 

“Those are yours,” Ziggy replied softly.

Trent’s brows furrowed in confusion. “What?” He looked at Ziggy, waiting for clarification. 

Ziggy cleared his throat before speaking again a little louder. “The kid? The boy you’re talking about..that was me.” His voice trembled slightly, overcome with emotion. “Just realized it myself last night. Y-you taught me everything.”

Trent stood frozen for a moment with the boot still in his hand as the words sunk in. He stared at Ziggy like he was looking at him for the first time again, noticing his familiar wide eyed expression from the park so many years ago. Recognition hit Trent immediately.

“No shot..” Trent muttered in disbelief while shaking his head, smiling. Ziggy’s face did look more familiar to Trent now that he was paying attention. Trent didn’t say anything else and pulled Ziggy into a tight hug instead, clapping him on the back. “You’re a lot taller now mate,” Trent joked as they pulled apart, breaking all tension that started on the plane.

Suddenly, Trent’s mind wandered back to the past, memories flickering by like a reel of film as he came to another discovery. “The girl..who used to sit in the grass with the other little one to watch us..that was…”

“Y/N and Ezzie” Ziggy finished the sentence, smiling when he saw an astonished expression from Trent.

“I can’t believe this shit,” Trent said with another wide grin spreading on his face.

“Me either…”

The two of them spent the next hour catching up, talking like they were old friends who had so much to share with one another. Ziggy pulled out his phone to show Trent some of his highlights, talking animatedly about all the progression he made throughout the years. His passion for football was clear in every word, much like the way your boyfriend spoke about football. Trent nodded his head, genuinely happy for him and offering advice when Ziggy asked for it. Ziggy started talking about the challenges he was facing, but never named them directly. Trent heard the hesitation in his voice, noticing your brother sounded confused, maybe even scared.

“I’m just trying to figure out where I’m supposed to be you know? No real manual for this type of stuff once it’s happening to you…” Ziggy said in a wavering voice.

Trent gave Ziggy a thoughtful look before leaning back. “You’re from Liverpool, yeah?” Ziggy nodded, staring at the boots that were now placed in his gym bag. 

Trent studied Ziggy’s face carefully, before offering the only advice he could.

“You know where you belong.”

um readers? we have some decisions to make

thank you for reading as always! send me messages and let me know your thoughts

[desafinado]

𓆩♡𓆪 oblivious crushes hcs

their crush on you is as clear as day, but you seem to be wearing sunglasses

°｡⋆ kaveh, alhaitham, kaeya x reader (separately)

°｡⋆ fluff, maybe a bit ooc alhaitham, lots of touchy/clingy :( and some angst in kaeya's part

note: i haven’t gone too far into sumeru yet D: (purely bc of laziness and college) so that’s why alhaitham might be a bit ooc… but! i hope yall enjoy, i had fun. (ps. this was inspired by my short convo with @kana-dayo , i hope u don't mind the tag just tell me if you want me remove it!!)

kaveh ♡

it threw for him a loop the first time. you were both walking down the port at sunset when he asked if you liked him, and you said of course you love him and you couldn’t ask for a better friend.

he thought you had rejected him when and was genuinely heartbroken for a day, until you visited the next day acting as if everything was fine.

he did not know how to proceed, but he did with caution… when he realized, you genuinely did not understand, he decided to build up the romance before asking you again.

he started making it known to you (and everyone else in the room) that he wanted to spend time with you.

“alhaitham, if you could give us a moment or tw-” “no.” “we’re having dinner out then, dear, lets go.”

of course, he would never do anything that might make you uncomfortable, the moment you express any discomfort or hesitance, he backs off.

that being said, you have never really done such, most times you’re even encouraging him

“kaveh… hugs now please :( “

and how can he not deny you?

speaking of which, he also tried to make more gentle subtle touches, taking your hand when you both walked, placing a hand on the small of your back, hugs that lasted just a second too long.

by the end of it he was extraordinarily clingy, one of his favorite moments is when your head is on his lap and he gets to caress your head.

he acts nonchalantly about it, and so do you. little did you know was that he never did that with anyone else.

“what do you mean kaveh doesn’t like hugging? we spend hours cuddling on the couch..”

to be honest he doesn’t really think much of it either, touching you is like second nature to him. you don’t mind either, because for some odd reason, it just feels right.

he’s almost certain that you like him too, but he’s too afraid to confirm it. he’d much rather stay like this in some sort of limbo between friends and lovers.

but eventually, it eats him up. he needs some sort of closure, even if it meant the collapse of his lovey-dovey facade.

everything’s in place. he had gone through all the scenarios, he knew you were in a good mood, and alhaitham was all the way in sumeru city. everything was perfect for him to make his move, all he needed was you.

“kaveh, what’s all this?”

a picnic blanket was spread out on the grass, a strawberry shortcake, sandwiches and wine laid on top. kaveh stood before it, his familiar smile inviting you to come closer. “ah, i have to admit, it is something a bit special so, please have a seat.”

you follow his advice and gently rest on the blanket, careful not to disturb kaveh’s work. he does the same and sighs. “hm… is this an anniversary or celebration of some sort? did you finally pay off your debt?” you start to ask excitedly, getting a bit ahead of yourself. kaveh simply shakes his head, chuckling softly.

“no, dear. on the contrary, if this all falls through, it could be my funeral.”

you give him a curious glance, tilting your head. he takes both his hands in yours and squeezes them gently.

“nothing that serious, do you remember when i asked you if you liked me?”

“yes… and i still do, if that’s what your concerned about.”

“when i said that, i meant to ask if you liked me as more than just a friend.”

…

…

“you mean… like family? like sibli-”

“no, no, dear god no. i mean like… lovers.”

your face turns red at the mention of that word, lovers. it implied romantic love, of course; you weren’t that dense. he’s looking straight into your eyes, awaiting a response, but your lips feel as though they’ve frozen in place. a few more seconds of silence pass, and his lips purse into a heavy frown.

“ah, i’m sorry, if you don’t… i just couldn’t go on like this, pretending that we were something more, living in ignorant bliss. i truly am sorry.”

“no, wait. kaveh…”

you finally build up the courage to speak, letting go of his hands and caressing his cheek. if there’s something you can’t ignore, its the way he’s putting himself down.

“i-i like you that way too, i just didn’t want to believe it either. i… i didn’t want to delude myself into that, so i never entertained the possibility that-”

his tender lips find yours in a kiss, interrupting your rambling along with any doubt the two of you had left. just like all of his other touches, the kiss felt right, familiar, and simply satisfying.

alhaitham ♡

feelings, specifically love, are a far too strong force that many times they most certainly overcome any logic of even the most robotic of personalities; enter alhaitham.

normally, he would be upfront about these sorts of things, giving them the ultimatum. letting them choose to accept or reject his feelings.

but this time, he didn’t want to give you that chance. he needed you to accept him, he couldn’t imagine any other possibility.

so what does he do? he takes a chance with the whole concept of “romancing” in order to win your heart.

he makes an effort to be around you more, he’ll listen to your long winded rants about the most random topics.

“so, why do you care about this again?” “i just do, i’m not quite sure why honestly.” “that’s understandable, please go on.”

he’s never been one to care about how others might perceive him, how others might react to his actions, but he cares so much about you and he wants you to trust him.

once he notices the way your lips curl up when he enters a room or the way you look at him when you feel a bit overwhelmed, he takes this as a sign that he can try being a bit more touchy.

he never really understood the appeal of it, until he felt how warm you were, how your skin brushing against his made him feel a bit more understood and loved.

and you don’t mind one bit, in fact, you’re happy that he has you to lean on (literally and metaphorically)

but you imagine his roommates' surprise to find alhaitham on the couch cuddled up with someone he had never even met.

“wake them up, and you will sleep outside.”

he truly believes he’s being subtle, but everyone (well those who have the courage to) teases him about it.

he brushes it off, but warns them not to tell you or else…

however, when he starts moving onto more overt and blatant shows of affections, he is sorely disappointed to realize that you are not catching on.

he’d gift you flowers before every outing, call you cute nicknames, and even be more honest with his own feelings.

a polite smile, a thank you, and enthusiastic nod was all you ever responded with.

he was disappointed in himself, he thought he must’ve done something wrong, that he must’ve made you uncomfortable.

he needs to confront you about this in his own way, for his sake and yours.

“it’s you…”

his voice rings out like a bell in a cathedral, snapping you back into reality. he had requested for you to meet him at one of the gazebos near the akademiya. stars had been showered upon the night sky, and it was all you could look at, until alhaitham’s voice, of course. you turn around and chuckle at his awe-stricken face.

“glad to see you too. your letter sounded quite urgent, is something the matter?”

upon seeing you, he can’t control his movements, rushing towards you and taking you into a dramatic hug. you’re quick to hug him back, offering him any and all support he might need. he buries his head into your shoulder, taking in your scent, and touch, enjoying it while it lasts. his voice almost cracks as he speaks.

“yes. i’m sorry for making you uncomfortable with my… advances. i understand if you never want to see me again.”

the shock is almost enough to knock you over, but you simply pull away and look at him with deep concern. you didn’t know where he was coming from, and you had never seen him like this.

“advances? what sort of advances?”

“the romantic ones?”

“oh! towards who? i don’t mind at all, really.”

its his turn widen his eyes, he closes his eyes and pauses. he needs to pick his next words carefully, he really wants this to be a swift death, no point in dragging his heart against the pavement.

“towards you…? the one i love is you.”

he finally admits, hoping you finally understand. he’s run out of words to say, ways to express his unwavering love for you. you flicker between his eyes and lips, confirming if what he says is true, and what he feels is real; after a moment, you speak up.

“i’m sorry, i never… i knew you were opening up, but i didn’t stop to think…”

you calmly take him back into your arms, letting his head rest back on your shoulder. you stroke his hair slowly, trying to soothe him. “i was already so happy that you seemed to be opening up to me, i didn’t realize you meant it in that way. i didn’t want to push it any further than necessary.” he allows you to touch and pamper him, allowing himself the privilege of your tender care.

“i see. so you weren’t comfortable with it? you’re not comfortable with me…?”

“no, alhaitham. i’m more than comfortable with you, and i’d do all those things with you again.”

you blush, understanding the implications of what you had just said. you just opened yourself to him, laid yourself out for him to accept or reject. you close your eyes, bracing for what comes next, when you suddenly feel yourself being lifted up and spun around gently.

“alhaitham!”

“that’s all i needed to hear, darling. from this day on, we can do all those things and more… again and again, everyday.”

kaeya ♡

he likes to tease, that is no question. making others red in the face, in anger or embarrassment, is a pastime of his.

but why is it that you of all people, his one and only crush, remain unaffected?

its not like you even have a snarky remark back or try to hide your embarrassment, you simply let it pass as though it was the cool summer breeze against your skin.

“oh my… shouldn’t you take me out to dinner first?” “uh why?”

you surely enjoyed his company and the silly jokes he’d make, even though there would be times you just didn’t understand what he was talking about.

other than that, he’d often be extra chivalrous towards you, holding the door for you, taking your hand as you walk down the stairs… but i mean that’s how knights just are, right?

though you can often feel his overprotective step out, especially when it comes to your safety, you once again chalk it to him in his cavalry captain mode.

only his closest friends and allies can detect the minor difference in his behavior around you, except you, of course. it doesn’t bother him, because it only solidifies his love for you, how serious he is about you.

sometimes he truly is just amazed with the way your mind works to rule out all romantic possibilities, its like the notion of love does not even exist to you.

he doesn’t mind it one bit, though. if anything, he wishes to be the person who introduces you to love.

he knows he can reveal his feelings at any moment, but he wants you to figure it out for yourself, that epiphany of love is something he feels everyone should experience…

that is until he catches you blushing with another person.

“oh yeah! they’ve been talking to them the entire night… they’re really hitting it off, i don’t-”

every word after that is just muffled noise to him. he didn’t understand the feeling coursing through his vein. it was a poignant mixture of jealousy, sadness, and disappointment in himself.

he immediately steps out of angel’s share, not even bothering with a drink to drown his feelings. he thought he was special to you, the way you were to him.

that’s when the creaking of the tavern doors catches his attention, revealing you.

“oh, hi.”

your voice was timid in the chilly night atmosphere, the silence between you and kaeya almost deafening. he huffs and crosses his arms, trying to pretend as if he hadn’t just felt his heart rip, shatter and

“hey, so what are you doing here? i know you’re not one for taverns, most specially on a wednesday night.”

he doesn’t miss a beat, starting his investigation. your eyes widen at his unusually stern demeanor; its not like you haven’t seen this side of him, but you don’t know have a clue as to where it's coming from. you start to sober up, feeling the excitement and adrenaline of the bar leave you. “honestly, i had nothing better to do… and i was trying to get out of my comfort zone.”

he raises an eyebrow at your seemingly simple explanation; you didn’t have any reason to lie, and to be fair, it wasn’t like he had a right to know anyways. his posture relaxes as gives you his arm, gesturing for you to take it; you, having no reason to deny him, take his arm in yours. you both start walking down the streets, no definite destination in mind.

“Is something wrong, kaeya?”

the glazed look in your eyes is something he can’t ignore, and he knows you won’t ignore his furrowed eyebrows either. he sighs letting the cold air entering his lungs, as if numbing himself before the storm truly begins.

“yes, actually there is. could i be a burden to you?”

“kaeya… you know you can always talk to me about your feelings, you’re no burden to me.”

a bitter chuckle escapes his lips, acting as if he truly had nothing left to lose. “that’s why i love you, you know? ah… i thought i’d be saying this in a drunken stammer or you’d hear from rosaria or lisa, but i’m more sober than ever and… i love you so much it hurts.”

suddenly, his touch feels much colder than it ever has, sending a shiver down your spine. you pause for a moment, the adrenaline and heat rising back up.

“k-kaeya, wait… i love you too. i’m-”

“you needn’t spare my feelings or lie. perhaps it was my fault for letting my pride get the best of me, and now you’ve been swept away by someone else, someone who makes you blush.”

your eyebrows curved into a straight line, clearly baffled by kaeya’s assumptions. yes, you were a bit oblivious when it came to love, so you feel like you’d take note if “someone swept you away”.“kaeya, i have no idea what you’re talking about, but if you’re referring to my demeanor in the bar, i was…” you face only gets redder by the moment. “i-i don’t hold my alcohol very well…”

kaeya pauses for a second, his lips parting in a small o-shape. he feels like such a fool for jumping to assumptions so quickly, but he quickly regains his composure realizing something far more crucial, a smirk plastered onto his face.

“i see. so you like me after all? and i’ve finally managed to fluster you”

“n-no, you didn’t! the alcohol just hasn’t-”

“aha, so you do love me? dear, just say the word, and i’m all yours.”

requests are open!! please do not reposts on other sites.

[jusst-you-race]

hey bug! hope you're having a great day! 😊 Um, I was wondering if you'd be willing to do a convo between Lewis and Seb established Sewis or even Jenson and Nico with established Princess Cake? Anyways, love this idea and catch you later! 😊

hi lovely! thank you! just for you, here is both of those things <3 honestly i'm having too much fun imagining this bunch, it' great! for the ccc snippet prompts

Lewis and Seb

Seb Remind me when you are back from your trip?

Lewis Wednesday

Seb That’s so many days away 

Lewis It’s only three 

Seb So many 

Lewis I left yesterday 

Seb A ridiculously long time if you ask me 

Lewis I miss you too 

Seb I never said I miss you 

Lewis Very funny 

Seb Got me 

I do miss you 

Tell work you can’t do trips anymore 

Lewis It’s quite important that I go to these fashion shows Seb 

Seb Well then they shall just have to do all the fashion shows here 

Lewis I’ll let them know I have a very pushy boyfriend whose needs they have to cater to 

Seb Good 

I don’t like sleeping alone

Lewis Well I do 

I’m getting so much sleep without you snoring in my ear

Seb I do not snore! 

Lewis Hmm I dunno…

Seb I don’t! 

Do I?

Lewis If it helps, they’re very cute snores

Seb That does not help 

Why have you never mentioned this before 

Lewis I’m just teasing you man 

You don’t snore 

I miss sleeping with you too 

Seb Oh Lewis 😏

Lewis Not what I meant and you know it 

But well

It’s not untrue 

Seb You can’t just say that when you aren’t back until Wednesday 

Now I’m going to be thinking about all the sex we aren’t having

I am going to die 

Lewis You’re insatiable 

I’m away less than a week 

Seb Far too long 

This might be the end of me 

Lewis You’re such a drama queen 

Seb You love me though 

Lewis That I do 

Seb ❤️

Jenson and Nico

Jenson what do you think about dinner tonight?

Nico What sort of question is that?

Ask properly 

Jenson difficult… 

would you like to come over for dinner tonight?

I’ll cook 

Nico Hmm depends 

What are you cooking?

Jenson does it matter?

do I have to beg to get you to come round or something?

Nico It might be nice 

I’m very high maintenance you see

Jenson don’t I know it…

Nico Oi 

Jenson alright princess 

please come over tonight and I will cook you whatever you want 

Nico I guess I could do dinner 

Jenson jeez tone down the excitement there

Nico I don’t want to give you any ideas

Jenson what sort of ideas might I get hmm?

Nico Naughty ones knowing you 

Jenson like you were oh so pure the other night 

Nico I don’t know what you’re talking about

Jenson oh I think you do 

don’t you remember what you were saying when I had you on your knees?

Nico Yes fine okay 

That’s enough of that 

I’m at work 

Jenson that’s never stopped you before 

Nico I’m in a meeting 

Lewis is here 

He is already giving me looks 

Jenson 😂

alright alright  

so tonight?

Nico Yes I will come over for dinner 

Jenson I’ll see you at 6:30 then?

Nico 6

Jenson six it is gorgeous 

Nico 🖕

Jenson 🥰🥰🥰

Nico 🙄❤️

[kanmom51]

JM's Production diary Documentary

And Live 23 October 2023

So, I don't know how to do this.

Write about JM's documentary separate from his live.

Write about the two without being all over the place.

Because not too much happened, and yet so much did.

So, where do I start? How do I get through this?

At this point I have so many ideas running through my head for posts, so much so that I'm not sure just yet how this post will work out, given that everything intertwines.

I still have JM's previous live to work on as well. Yeah, kind of overwhelmed at the moment.

I guess I will just get on with it, but I do think that more than likely there will be things I will either save for another post or two or three, or forget something (that I can guarantee) or just post on repeat, cause some things we just cannot get enough of.

Let's talk about the documentary a bit.

We got to see the process of JM creating his songs. How they would start with the idea, the narrative. Then the melody, instruments and the vocals and then the actual lyrics.

JM's musicality, his talent, his creativity all showcased.

We also got to see just how nice Pdogg is. How much he loves JM, how respectful he is to him, not to mention how talented he is himself. As a matter of fact, the whole team that worked with JM were super nice and talented and they just all seemed to be having a good time, even while working to the bone.

Oh, and how none of them actually knew English, lmao.

In the documentary we were shown how JM and Pdogg chose the quote from the movie to use in the song. Only that it wasn't the one they actually used in the song itself. And that is because, as JM revealed to us in the live, they picked it without knowing what the characters were talking about, picking a convo between the characters that sounded nice to them at the time, something that would suit the song. All while the two characters were actually talking about a visa, lol. And JM, well, he found that super funny (which truthfully, it really is), so he repeated it a couple of times.

We also saw RM in the documentary sitting down with them talking about writing lyrics. Only for JM to share with us that:

Which JM found to be very funny. I guess now it is, but back then... not sure he shared that same sentiment, lol.

He kept on laughing about him being an idea bank, lol. It's ok to acknowledge your genius, man!!!

Hobi and then Jin show up in the comments while JM is watching the documentary. And I was surprised at that point, given that I really did think JM wouldn't be doing this live, that it would have been pre-recorded. But it wasn't, and thank god for that, cause we all know what happened later on. Less than 1.30 minutes out of an almost 2 hour live, but gosh, what a 1.30 minutes they were, lol.

Anyways, Hobi shows up and JM goes all shy and even stops playing the documentary telling him to leave, that he won't continue playing until he does.

Guess who won that fight, lol. Hobi, of course. JM gives in and continues, once in a while saying they will go away at 9 pm (Jin came in to say that there is some kind of something military related, lol).

Letter

Yes, let's actually start with the name of the song.

Cause for some reason, although they all talk about the song using the word pyeonji (Letter), all while the translation is Dear.Army. Like what the actual fuck? Why would they do that?

Well, we kind of know, don't we?

Someone (cough Hybe cough) is working super hard to cement the song is for the fans.

Please tell me, if this was a song completely meant for the fans, why this incessant need of the company to sell this to us? Why change the name of it in the fucking documentary, while JM and the others are literally saying the word "letter" translating it to "Dear.Army"? There is only one answer I can think of here. And you know exactly what that answer is.

I'm not going to go back to all the reasoning as to why this is way more than a song for fans, I feel like we've discussed this ad nauseam. I will only say that NOTHING we saw in the documentary contradicts what we think about Letter.

You can see, throughout the process how emotionally tasking the song is for JM. And yes, a song for ARMY could be emotional, I mean both JM and JK have immense love for ARMY, and we've seen JK burst into tears talking to army or about army, JM getting very emotional himself. But this, this was more. There are moments there when you can see the anxiety just bursting out of JM.

This song was just MORE.

Especially when you take everything you see in the documentary, JM's state of mind, his words, his behaviour, and add it all up with the lyrics, even more so the missing lyrics. Would be hard to explain how "dongsaeng" fits into "this is a song for army"... Add it to the hidden track. But not only it being a hidden track, it's a hidden track only on the physical CD. Not the digital CD. So, no streaming. A track for Army, for his fans, that not all of his fans get to hear freely? A track for Army that, hmm... maybe wasn't supposed to even be in the album?

We got more than 2 seconds of JK. That's worth a mention too, no?

When I saw this I was: fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Cause, no way under the sun, yes, pun intended, that this was about ARMY.

Army was NEVER REFERENCED AS THE SUN BY ANY OF THEM.

NEVER.

You know who was?

The level of emotion we see from the two of them throughout the process... this was so personal.

I rewatched it again today before writing these lines. It's JK's body language, it's JM's body language, it's JM going in to cup JK's face when telling him he wrote a fan song, and JK's reaction.

Dare I remind you that "Still with you" was classified by JK as a "fan song". Dare I remind you what our sentiments about that song are? Yeah, a fans song.

And I will remind you, not that you need the reminder, who happened to state for all of us to see that he was JM's fan. Happening to do so during JM's promotions of Face and before JM's Face Live, which I do not think was a coincidence AT ALL.

They are just precious. What else can I say?

There is this as well.

Also, I don't think I'm the only one seeing this. JK at the end going in for a hug, but JM, reaches out for a hand shake and a bow.

He bows.

Twice.

Now, the not going in for a hug could be one of two with JM. The first could be that it was too emotionally charged and that hug, in front of the cameras, will just be too hard. Too hard not to show the emotions. Too hard to break off.

Or, the second could be that by doing this, bowing the way he did do JK, he was showing us, the spectators, just how profoundly thankful he was for JK, and for his participating in the song.

Now that I think of it there could be a third reason. Which would be the combination of the two.

You know what I also noticed there?

That JK didn't bow back.

So, that's more or less what happened with them in the documentary. Not too much talking, when there is it's subdued, understandably so, given this is all done in front of the cameras. But, there is an undertone of emotions there.

Oh, and did I mention we see JM wearing the very important, at the time, necklace throughout the documentary? On that day of recording as well.

And happy little coincidence them wearing the black and white bucket hats? Lol.

Ok then. By now we all know that JK joined the live. And he does it exactly when they started letter. Quelle surprise. Quelle coincidence. Or was it?

Observations:

JK is too skinny. JM thought so too all while grabbing his tiddy.

JK is really tired. Said he was practicing. Eyes red. He needs to eat and sleep.

JM was genuinely surprised by JK's appearance. Th way he lights up, he was surprised and giddy and excited, his whole body movement, practically dancing in his seat with glee.

JK walks in holding his right hand in place. At first I thought maybe it was injured or hurt or unable to move, a cramp maybe, like the ones JM suffers from at times. But later on it looked like there was nothing wrong with his arm. So was that his way of holding himself back? Restraining himself? Containing himself?

JM signals for JK to talk into his mic,

Pulls the mic up forward away from his chest, and as JK comes closer he lets it go and leans back for JK to move in.

And JK, well why? The mic is right there. Why does he lean in lower? To say hello to Army? Talking to JM's what? Not the mic, that's for sure...

There did not seem to be a chair there next to JM when the live started, and when JK was leaving JM had him take a chair with him. So, as JK came into frame were the staff assuming he's going to be joining JM for the rest of the live? Also making sure to hand him a mic?

And then, JM asks JK "why did you lose so much weight?", all while reaching out his arm, and JK moves forward towards him, and you can see JK's eyes moving down to JM's arm all while JM just goes for JK's chest. Just going straight for the grab.

And JK, he loses it for just a second.

Sniff, gulp, giggle...

And we are back.

JK laughingly tells us he just practiced. But kind of still dumbfounded I guess.

And then I think JM came to as well (you know, awakening from the aftershock of his own actions, lol) and tells JK "time to go", or more so "get the fuck out of here as fast as you can and take that chair with you while you're at it, cause if you don't leave now I'm going to jump your bones right here right now".

Ok, so maybe he didn't say those words exactly, but that was the sentiment, lol.

JM apologises. Thrice.

For sending JK on his way.

And we get the hug. One of those Jikook in front of the camera hugs.

And again JM rushes JK to leave, smacking his butt while he's at it.

JK grabs the chair, tells JM to enjoy watching with Army and tells us he loves us on the way out. And JM sitting there watching JK, giggling, smile plastered on his face, waving by. But that isn't the end of it.

Because as JK leaves JM follows him with his gaze, until he waves him goodbye and only then gets back to the documentary.

And this is when we lost JM for a few minutes there during that part of the documentary, and even more so when JK was on screen singing or during their interactions.

And we also got this reaction to their hug.

What was going through your mind at that moment JM?

After JK leaves there is not too much left until the end of the documentary. And then we have a JM giggles attack. And the man is telling us he's laughing about balloon placements, but seriously, do we really think that's it?

And yes, JM was as always his own shy self while going it alone, and yes, he was finding it hard where to go with the live once the video was over, but this was just more than just plain embarrassment or shyness.

Could there have been someone there waiting for him? Someone that has that kind of effect on JM perhaps?

I don't think JK was there the whole time. He really did leave when JM was waving him goodbye (if he hadn't have left JM wouldn't have been able to get back to the documentary the way he did). But possibly, very possibly, lover boy went to shower and came back in time for JM's ending.

JM tells us during that giggle attack that he will post a pic of the funny balloons only to later post a pic of 19 balloons, the ones in the front shaped like an S. And why do I feel like that was JK's doing? The S shaped balloons...

Clearly the balloons were not placed that way at first.

Someone did this. Question is which one of them. The S, the 19, not a coincidence.

I guess that's it for this post.

Like I mentioned, I know I probably forgot stuff, and there will probably several posts to follow.

But I just needed to get this one out there for you guys. And I guess we'll add on as we go (especially seeing that I've reached my image limit here, as usual).

To sum this up.

WOW!!!

[myangelhaven]

These are my recommendations of HYUNJIN fics! It will be updated once in a while for new stories I have read. Hopefully the links work (lemme know if it doesn't)

Credits to the authors!! All information written is taken from the authors' post and has not been modified. Reminder that some fics are NOT for minors, so please read the key and avoid 18+ contents.

HAPPY READING!!

KEY

[❀]: fluff [𖦹]: humour [𖤓]: angst [☄]: sad [☾]:smut [⟡]:smau [✮]: my favs

˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖✮-------------HYUNJIN-------------✮˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖

DRABBLES & SHORT FICS

ten things hwang hyunjin says when he thinks you’re asleep by @soobnny [❀]

Photobooth kisses by @neos127 [❀]

you're in the wind, i'm in the water by @astraystayyh [❀][𖤓][✮][f2l][unrequited but not]

The Kisses You Left (Marked My Soul) by @seo--changbin [❀][✮][soulmateau]

a drabble inspired by hyunjin's mole

Love potion by @ppiri-bahng [❀]

you try to slip Hyunjin a love potion thinking that he could never love you back

Waiting for us by @ppiri-bahng [𖤓][☄][happy ending][suggestive]

you’re afraid to let hyunjin love you, but he’d wait forever for you

Say yes to heaven by @astraystayyh [❀][𖤓]

seven minutes in heaven except you're heartbroken and hyunjin has a huge crush on you. angst and slightly suggestive in the end.

Say yes to me: after your seven minutes in heaven, hyunjin wants to plan out how he'll finally confess to you. except you come knocking on the door of his rented cabin unannounced. at 10:53 pm. the perfect time for love, he comes to learn.

Somebody else by @astraystayyh [𖤓][☄][ex2l][happy ending]

You and Hyunjin have broken up, guilt and blame simmering between you both. He doesn't care anymore, or so he thought. Then why does it hurt him to see you with someone else?

Untitled by @hwanghyunjinenthusiast [❀][𖤓][☾][e2l?]

Hwang Hyunjin is insufferable. You can't stand him despite the treacherous thoughts that cross your mind. Hyunjin decides to really call into question just how much you seemingly can't stand him.

Erubescent by @cle1024 [❀][𖤓][e2l]

why are my cheeks erubescent? i shouldn’t be feeling this way about you; i’m not supposed to trust you.  

Spilled tea by @quokkawritesarchive[☾][roommatesau]

Request: maybe like a hot roomate smut,? y/n and hyunjin are roomates for a while now but they barely interact and talk. one day late at night while y/n is drinking water in their shared kitchen (in just panties and a oversized shirt) hyunjin barges in for a midnight snack too (shirtless as he was sleeping) they both awkwardly bump into eachother seeing each other in such less clothing but they finally suck it up and have a good deep convo for the 1st time as roomates and they get to know a lot abt eachother. just to mention y/n is sitting on the kitchen counter while hyun is standing and the sexual tension arises mid convo. can this smut be limited to dry humping and tons of marking lolol

Honey's by @cbini [☾][sexshopowner]

Places, places! By @forlix [❀][𖤓][fwb?][idolhyunjin][suggestive] 1.3K

you’re just trying to do your job; your client has other ideas.

Straykids soulmate aus by @sweetkpopmusings [❀][soulmate au] 1.3k

each soulmate has half a quote that is important to their relationship tattooed on their body.

Pretty cute by @scxrlettwxtches [❀] 1.6k

The moment Hwang Hyunjin snatched the unofficial confession from your desk (which he was definitely not supposed to read), you knew you were royally screwed.

It's a scream, baby! by @luvyeni [❀][☾][ghostfaceau][knifeplay] 1.7k

you can’t help but tease the man in the mask, that’s until he catches you

Mistletoe by @iinnie [❀][bff2l][mutual pining] 1.8k

pushing your feelings for him aside, you’re determined to get hyunjin under the mistletoe with his crush. what you’re not aware of, though, is that he’s crushing on you, his long-time best friend.

I didn't actually love you by @amelee23 [❀][✮] 3.1k

Your friends forced you to become part of a poetry club, and when you receive a task to write a poem about sadness, you realize you accidentally write it about Hyunjin, the guy you had a crush on and tried to forget about. And he finds out.

Gleam and glitter by @jishyucks [❀][f2l][richkidau] 3.4k

You’ve quickly established that no one at this damn charity gala cares about the event’s purpose. They were just there to party. And you wanted nothing else but to leave; alternatively, in which Hyunjin saves you from your misery to see the city’s Christmas lights.

Just like you by @milkandhyunnie [𖤓][☾][exes] 3.7k

you’re trying to move on from your toxic ex boyfriend when you run into him at the club—only to find out that he has a brand new girlfriend that looks just like you

Third wheel by @cb97percent [☾☾][3some] w/ bangchan 4.1k

It would be wrong if you were attracted to one of your best friends since they are in a relationship, but you don't know what the protocol is when you have the hots for both of them.

Boy next door by @strayed-quokka [❀][𖤓][☾][✮][chf2l][brother's bff2l] 4.9k

you’d known hyunjin for most of your life, introduced as a friend of your brothers and quickly someone who cared for you. he was there as you grew up, driving you home from parties, getting you out of lectures from your parents, or checking on you when your brother couldn’t. 

so when you’d asked the favor of renting his extra room for a year whilst you adjusted living in a new city for university, your brother didn’t even blink or question it. 

maybe he should’ve. 

⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄more to come!⠄･ ⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄⠂⋆ ･ ⠄

☆-------Hyunjin's masterlist || skz masterlist--------☆

[tehnakki]

Had to have another frustrating convo with a white guy who started his introduction at a sex party I was hosting with "i'm lonely/recently divorced/widowed and haven't had sex in a couple years" and then afterwards reached out to me that he had a good time but couldn't figure out how to initiate anything more than surface level conversations with people.

This is like a regular trope of straight white dudes in a bunch of the sex communities I'm in and I just want to take them all and shake the fuck out of them and scream in their faces "YOU GET BACK THE ENERGY YOU BRING TO AN INTERACTION"

You come in with your mopey ass vibes and then wonder why no one thinks your sexy???? You started the interaction off with "hi, i'm pathetic and sad". Of course that is a vibe killer for almost everyone! Also, you didn't ask for sex! You said that you haven't had sex in a while, which implies that you either don't want to have sex or you don't know how to ask for what you want, both boner-killers.

We give explicit instructions during opening circle to ask for one specific thing you want and these dummies never do. They just say what they don't have and then are surprised that it hasn't changed by the end of the night. And I always model it by going first.

(read more for those who don't want to know what gets me off lol)

"Hey, I'm Nakki, they/them pronouns. I'm a pain slut and always open for pain play with new people. Tonight I would like to be fisted." And guess what, I got fisted by 3 different people, and caned/whipped by 4 others. Super fucking easy.

Thankful one of my cohost is a older cis white man and he has infinite patience for talking these dudes through how to behave like a normal human being at a sex party. So if they reach out to me I give them a quick read of their intro and why it didn't encourage me to ask them to play, and then pass them over to my cohost to have the manly heart to heart about actually listening to what people are saying and asking for what you want.

And over time some of them do get better at interacting and participating. I had one older divorcee guy who was beyond awkward at 4 or 5 parties last year and then showed up a couple weeks ago at one and just said his name and pronouns at opening circle (which impressed me, because normal he mentions he was divorced, and had misgendered me a couple times before) and came up to me immediately afterwards and said, "I've been learning electroplay because you mentioned it last year. I've been practicing it on myself and others and I'm really good at it now. Can I hurt you sometime tonight?" Apparently I got so wet so fast that my top (who had her hand between my legs) started cackling uncontrollably.

Anyways, that guy now has my full consent to choke me on his cock while he electrocutes the shit out of me whenever he wants. And he also has a bunch of regular play partners out of the group because people saw me losing my mind and wanted to take him for a spin as well.

Bring your sexy vibes and you will get sexy back. Bring your sad vibes and you will get sad vibes back. It is so easy. Stop making sex awkward.

[gayshitfuckers]

HELLO I JUST GOT THE QUARRY AND I HAVE MANY OPINIONS AND YES MOST OF THEM ARE ABOUT THE ABSOLUTELY SHOULD HAVE BEEN EMMA X ABI (don't get me wrong, their friendship is SO cute and them being canonical besties is still very precious, I just noticed something i think is worth mentioning)

(spoiler warning? Idk if its necessary cause it's been out for a lil while but if you're dumb like me and my brother and have only just got/played it then be warned)

So, as we are all aware, Nick gets infected like Chapter? 3? 4? Whatever it is... and proceeds to act Very Very Weird towards Abi, very grabby and sort of demanding her attention while also insulting her. But pretty much the very last thing he does is grab her and try to pull her into him before yknow ~flinging her~. All very uncomfortable, but remember the last thing he does in Wolf Delerium™️ before going full munch is pretty much force her to be right next to him when he's about to turn. And sure he wasn't aware of what he was doing but the game gives the impression that whoever's bitten kind of knows that nothing good is about to happen and that their personalities/insecurities are reflected in their changes.

I mean come ON that is such a fuckin predator-ass pose (sorry Nick I swear I don't hate him that much it's just this part makes it DIFFICULT to love him)

Now, I would like to compare that with this little tidbit I noticed in my run. Later in I think Chapter 8, Abi and Emma are in the storm shelter together with Emma infected (my bad babes, fucked up your QTE for you). The convo ain't pretty, although it's certainly not the levels of uncomfortable with Nick. But then! THEN! Something very interesting happens. Despite being angry and having just verbally lashed out at Abi, Emma? Staggers away?? From what I could tell she was quite literally seconds away from turning and just stops speaking before abruptly putting some distance between herself and Abi. And at this point honestly Emma knew about as much as Nick (maybe a bit more cause she's been told the basics but she hasn't actually seen a transformation, all her info is whatever Kaitlyn very quickly conveyed to Emma). All that's happened to her up to is she's had a couple run ins with werewolves and hidden in the van.

This is all a very longass way of saying I can't get it out of my head that Emma realised what was happening (or at least had figured out she was some sort of danger to Abj) and was trying to PROTECT her. When Nick was this far along, he was saying vaguely cannibalistic sentiments to Abi so I'm presuming atp Emma's having similar munchy thoughts, but instead of acting on them like Nick did she's putting distance between her and Abi. She's mere moments away from turning and somehow fights her instincts off long enough to keep Abi just a little bit safer from her. Kinda further emphasised by the fact that she very softly says 'Abi' before moving away from her in a kinda panicked way.

(Found the exact thing below so you can see what I mean, but I think she goes a bit further before physically collapsing)

I also think this is one of the only cases I know of where someone infected like actively moves away from their friends? Dylan comes the closest by telling Kaitlyn she has to get away (also hard to judge cause man's in stuck in a crane so I'll give him half credit on that one). But as far as I know Emma's the only one who in pretty much her final moments physically goes against the curse enough to try and get away.

ALSO VERY INTERESTINGLY, even after she turns, she takes...a very long time to get to Abi. You can hear the sound of her fully turning as Abi goes to the ladder. I'm gonna say tops this is like? 15 metres away? It's close enough that a human could close it in a few seconds, the werewolves can basically jump that distance in a second - if that. But it takes her (and yes I timed it) all of twenty seconds to actually reach Abi and drag her off the ladder. Abi has time to get halfway up, fall off, get BACK up and only after failing a mash QTE will Emma get her. And we KNOW Emma knew where she was cause she does look at Abi just before she runs to get away. Even giving a suitable amount of time for confusion, other werewolves haven't taken more than a few seconds before running off to do something - hell even giving her 10s (which is WAY more than any other werewolf in the game takes to get into action) she's still standing there doing nothing for another 10s.

Am I suggesting that Emma loves Abi so much she fought the urge to hunt her down long enough to give her 2 chances to escape? And that she tried to further that chance by moving just that little bit away from Abi before turning? Yes. Yes I wholeheartedly am.

Obviously this is just my interpretation of that event but!!! I maintain the evidence is there. But even if you don't perceive it as potentially romantic, it still serves well to show the depth of their friendship. At the very least it shows that at her heart, Emma cares more about Abi than Nick as they both lash out at Abi in a similar manner but Emma pulls herself together long enough to give Abi a better chance.

[gingergofastboatsmojito]

You know what Syd & Carmy need?

A good rage fuck MEDIATOR

And this convo I just had in the comments this great post with @invisiblerambler brought Luca to my mind when I came up with the idea that we all are kinda rooting for Carmy to make progress in therapy, which I'm 100% on board with too, but IRL sometimes that's just not enough, some times we just need a friend that can understand us and we don't have undealt with feelings for or a secret attraction for. Especially someone like Carmy that didn't have that growing up.

The opposite may also be true IRL. Sometimes our close circle of friends is just not enough and we need to complement it with a good therapist or team of therapists, in some cases.

Life is not one or the other, life is messier. And so are these characters and this show. Right?

I always thought that when Carmy and Richie could really mend their relationship, which I'm sure will happen at some point, that person was gonna be Cousin. Now, after watching this S3 that keeps growing more and more on me as I rewatch its pivotal scenes, I'm having my doubts about that, simply because he has his own personal demons to deal with and, just like Carmy, he's not great at it. They are more alike than they think.

Whereas, as I mentioned here, Luca represents Carmy's healed version. That's why Storer brought him back at this point of Carmy's story. He is needed.

IMO: The bringer of light role, that he will play in Syd's story, as I elaborated in → here in the bonus track, will actually in a case of classic Storer mirroring, be the same role he will play in Carmy's story at this point of his redemption arc. I'm sure.

And Luca will be doing that for both at the same time, by being THE MEDIATOR between the two because he already knows Carmy and will get to know Syd when the Sydluca storyline (or as I call it, the PRESYDCARMYLUCA plot device) develops next season, for just a few months.

I can't wait for him to mediate between these two and ironically bring them closer together. I really can't.

Storer, I'm with you on this one. Don't even think about letting me down bc you're already on very thin ice with me.

Related note: This.

[nicnacsnonsense]

Changes I would make to “Lies My Parents Told Me”:

Instead of Giles and Buffy being Team Kill Spike and Team Zero Precautions respectively, Giles should think Spike needs to be chained up 24/7 until the trigger is deactivated while Buffy thinks it’s fine for him to walk around free as long as she’s there to directly supervise.

Giles does not collude with Robin

Buffy & Giles still have their convo but it is not a distraction nor does it involve Giles lecturing Buffy about how being a general means making the sacrifices that I’ve decided you should make.

Buffy is the one to bring up her refusal to kill Dawn suspecting that Giles might be doing the same thing again but with Spike this time. And Giles is the one to have changed his mind on his former actions, saying that he trained Buffy to be independent and a leader and it was wrong of him to follow that with second guessing and undermining any decision she made that he didn’t necessarily agree with. But he will add that that trust does have to be a two-way street; if a good leader expects their people to follow them even into decisions they don’t personally agree with, they have to make sure their people feel like their concerns and opinions are being heard. That’s Giles concerns about Spike, but also the Potentials’ fears too. (This is where he would presumably mention Robin told him about being the son of one of the Slayers that Spike killed, prompting Buffy to realize, oh shit, Robin’s going to kill Spike.)

The First as Nikki Wood should show up twice. Once to tip Robin off about Giles and Buffy being out and goading him into taking this opportunity to fight Spike (admittedly not sure how he convinces Spike to come to his place in this one), and again during the fight scene between Spike and Robin. Because this is the kind of threat they should have focused on the First posing. It’s Spike who has been turned into a feral killer via the First’s trigger vs Robin who has been manipulated by the First into pursuing his own vendetta over what’s best for stopping the apocalypse, and whoever ends up killing the other, the First wins.

Spike’s trigger breaking starts with the realization that his mom loved him, yes, and that the vampire his mother became who said all those hateful things was a different person. But from there he realizes that who he is now with a soul is a different person than the demon without it. Not completely different, the demon is still in him, just like there are still pieces of soft mousy William in him, but he doesn’t have to be either of them anymore and doesn’t have to feel guilty about the things they did. So maybe Robin doesn’t forgive Spike for killing his mom — again, sorry about that — but Spike forgives himself, and you know what, that’s all that matters to him. And that is what breaks the trigger

Also Spike lets Robin keep Nikki’s coat because that’s his dead mother’s coat, goddamn

[melrosing]

2.07 thoughts

liked the Rhaenyra and Jace convo but feel like they could’ve managed a better build to this + drawn it out a bit more. love that Jace needs to lean into targ supremacy more than anyone bc what else does he have etc, but there’s so much they could’ve done w that in earlier eps showing where he feels insufficient and self conscious of his heritage and the lowkey resentment towards Rhaenyra for it. would also like to have seen Rhaenyra defend herself, resulting in more tangible fracture between them. she’s so diplomatic on absolutely everything and we’re near the end of S2 now! PLEASE let d’arcy do more w this role

liked the saera mention!

liked aegon rehab and larys basically tormenting him into reclaiming his role, like instead of having it thrust upon him as per S1 (which I did think was a good place to start Aegon as a character) maybe he will seize it this time bc if he doesn’t have the power of the iron throne then what does he have etc, he will never know peace, his son is gone, and so on

Alicent lake scene sure did happen. but I felt nothing like it felt lazy sorry what exactly were they trying to convey. I like being able to read my own meaning into scenes but this was like they were actively relying on the audience to do so

hilarious watching a bunch of actors in bad wigs walking into dragonstone really enjoyed that

however I think it really speaks to how little they know what to do with Rhaenyra’s interiority that you have her watching on as Vermithor burns and demolishes all the poor people she herself stuck in front of him and like. what are we supposed to understand is going through her head. she’s just fucking staring lol. and then before she can even reflect Vermithor is successfully claimed so all’s well that ends well. like my god please can someone write Rhaenyra

Daemon and the riverlords ok I liked Oscar Tully fine. but I think they’re lacking the adventure w Daemon’s interiority that they seemed to promise in the first few eps. like if you want to compare to OG bad incest man redemption anti hero Jaime Lannister and his OWN riverlands adventure….. like im sorry but this doesn’t even compare lmao

liked the dragon keepers arguing w Rhaenyra and fucking off outta there. like the framing of the dragons as gods and smallfolk claiming them as blasphemy and the way they maybe feel like Jace in that if anyone can claim these beasts maybe they’re just glorified zookeepers

excited that we get to see Dreamfyre?

v excited to see what they do w Daeron

that’s it though I was really rooting for this series but I think you can really tell they were rushing to meet deadlines and had to make a bunch of last minute edits. It’s been a 6/10 on average for me so far w a 7/10 for the high points and a 4/10 for the low. and I can’t really believe that was the penultimate episode where it’s supposed to feel everything is really coming to ahead whereas actually it feels more like the midpoint of a few fumbled arcs

[thegamingcatmom]

I have a question! A few maybe? Depends how much I yap lol!

Okay so will we ever get a chance to see mc interact with the Cullens—including bella? I would like to see how she reacts to a completely different family of vampires, especially since she doesn’t know what they are.

And speaking of not known what they are, will she ever get a chance to find out? If so how would she react?! Im honestly so excited to see more, ever since I began reading I’ve been frothing at the mouth and checking your page daily(sorry if that sounds crazy)

I would really like to see how she would interact with each Cullen, especially Rosalie—how would Rosalie feel meeting another so called human pet:0

I also feel like her and Esme would get along perfectly, kind of like how Carmen is with mc! And Alice too, though her personality may be too much for mc?

Will mc also be inter-grated in personal affairs like family meetings and going to see the Volturi? Since im guessing mc will soon know what they are?

Also theres this tension between mc and tanya, will they ever get a chance to be romantic? If so how would that go for the first time? Since the Denali sisters are experienced with humans will it ever happen?

I think thats all for now! Cant wait to see more, this work is by far the most im invested in!

First of all: I love how lengthy your ask is! And I especially love that it´s allll about what may or may not happen in the deranged universe of The Sisters. Those are my fav kind of asks. THE SPECULATIONS, THE THEORIES. 😭

I do so love fangirling with yall. 🫶❤️‍🔥🫶

Okay so-

You´ll defo get a fat chance to see MC interacting with the Cullens - that includes Bella ofc. In fact, there´s a reason I put them in the tags of my story early on, even though their first appearance won´t be until much later.

The Cullens will play a rather big part in all of it, as MC meeting them will probs set some things in motion that may or may not impact the dynamic between her and her forced-found family (the Denalis). You´re absolutely correct that she has no idea another "variant" of whatever-they-are exists out there. A variant that she might even come to like because that variant seems somewhat sane, at least.

Their eyes are defo less haunting. That´s already a huge plus in her book...

MC will find out what they are for sure. She´s bound to, at some point. Tanya hasn´t taken her in just for shits and giggles. (Kate begs to differ.) Our coven leader very much plans on having MC stay with her them permanently, and there´s only one way to ensure that. You hearing bells too?

As for how MC´s gonna react when the bomb drops? Good question. 🤔

I will say this though: It´s not necessarily gonna be the Denalis who will spill the beans. 🫘

And can I just say I fucking LOVE that you mentioned Rosalie specifically?? Because yes, yes, yes, my girl will play a rather important part when it comes to MC and the Denalis indeed.

Yall remember THAT convo, right? Ofc you do. It´s the first "real talk" we get between Bella and Rose. It´s where Bella finds out the real reason why Rose seemingly can´t stand her. It´s because she envies her. For having the opportunity at a life she herself longs for. For having the choice.

We all know Rose thinks one´s mortality is something that should be protected at all costs. It should be valued and respected. Not carelessly thrown away like Bella plans on doing.

And you know who else thinks she´d rather stay exactly the way she is, pls and ty?

MC.

Girl wants no part of that...whatever-they-are. Those things are the reason she´s stuck in this dilemma in the first place. Why would she wanna become something she despises?

And you know who else despises what she´s become?

Rosalie.

Rose firmly believes Bella´s choosing wrong.

Well, how do you think Rose would react if someone chose right instead?

I guess the main difference between Bella and MC is that Bella's a willing human pet. 😏

My heart melts just thinking about it.

Esme is basically the (lot) less unhinged version of Carmen, so ofc she´d go full Momma on MC. Making her food (just look at that gif, I mean-), fluffing up her pillow, taking care of her when she isn´t feeling well and just-

ASFKASJFAKSDFN.

Can you imagine Carmen and Esme combined?? I don´t think our hearts could handle it (jk, they won´t have another choice cause I very much plan on combining Carmen and Esme and letting them loose on MC muahaha). It´d be a constant back and forth of-

"Are you hungry, dear?"

"Your feet are not too cold, are they, mi amor?"

"Do you need me to wash those, honey?"

"Leave the poor thing alone."

"She is sleeping."

As for Alice-

I mean-

She´s...wild. But not in the deranged way MC will have no choice but to become used to (courtesy of her forced-found family). She has an energy that makes you feel like you´re talking to a kid on a sugar rush, lmao. But that's an energy MC can deal with I reckon. It might even be something she welcomes after everything else she's been through.

Alice might be a lil weirdo who takes fashion much too seriously, but there's an undeniable joy to her that's kind of infectious. I imagine MC would much rather deal with a bit of weirdness (which probs includes serving as a Barbie for Alice to dress up) than a whole ton of...whatever it is that's not quite right with her kidnappers. 🙃

Tbh: I don't plan for MC to find out about vampires until much later. There's a few things I got in mind for how and when she finds out, and I did say it's not necessarily gonna be the Denalis who will tell the tale.

The Volturi will be involved in one way or another, I´m sure. My mind hasn´t made it that far yet though, because we gotta get MC settled in first. We also gotta tame Irina first before any other vampires (besides the Denalis) can be introduced to our girl. I need MC to be in a position where ALL members of the family are somewhat willing to go the extra mile to keep her with them safe. Whether that be for personal reasons or because your sister went all coven leader on you...

As for being involved in family affairs/meetings:

Hmm, I haven´t thought about that yet. I mean, they´re vampires. They could discuss matters with her in the next room and she would be none the wiser because they can speak at a volume that’s only audible to them due to their heightened hearing. If they don´t want her included in something, she won´t be.

On the other hand...

Seeing how Tanya has already signed the adoption papers (so to speak), I can also very much see her being adamant on MC being included in family matters from now on. She´s the leader, and while she accepts and welcomes her coven members´ opinions, she can be rather stubborn when she´s set her mind on something (or someone).

Much to the annoyance of Irina. Girl´s gonna hit her breaking point sooner rather than later. 💀

There´s tension alright but not nearly enough if you ask Tanya and there´s a reason for that:

Ofc she´s gonna be romantically involved with MC.

So will Kate.

So will Irina.

That´s why I put it in the tags. 😅

However, and I cannot stress this enough, it´s a slow burn. Very slow. With lots of suffering for everyone involved. Why? Cause I like em working for it. 🙃

I´ve made a similar post quite a while ago where I kinda explained the main directive of The Sisters. While falling in love is ofc part of it, it´s not the focus of my story. It´s more about staying true to yourself despite the challenges you face, and about becoming the best version of yourself. Finding love can help a great deal with that, but in the end, it´s up to you to face your demons. Where there´s a will, there´s a way.

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As for the Denali sisters being experienced with humans:

Yes and no, lol. They´re more experienced than most of their kind for sure, seeing how sleeping around is pretty much all they've been doing for the past century. Besides feeding, ofc. Sometimes they do both at once, and there's the catch-

Getting their fill is all they care about, really. Whether that be related to feeding or...other things. There's never been a situation for them where they felt like they had to be extra careful with their victims flings, simply because they.don't.care. If they make it out alive at the end, good for them. If not, well that's that. There's more where they came from. No biggie. 🤷‍♀️

They have exceptional control over their bloodlust, it has to be said. But that doesn't mean they're gonna overexert themselves with it. Shit happens, so to speak. 🙃

...Enter MC-

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Thanks so much for your ask and for letting me know how excited you are to read more! (Crazy is the highest form of flattery, imo. 😌)

Your ask has made me excited as well actually, lmao. With that said:

Have a great day and cya at Chapter 4! 💋