#is more important than leading the confrontation herself

[wavebiders]

Thinking about how most of the time when you have the option to stay quiet during a companion quest you get approval for letting them handle it and sometimes even get disaproval for talking over them

And then with Shadowheart's quest speaking up with Viconia not only gives a +5(while *keep silent* gives nothing) but also if you don't do that she will look genuinely scared when Viconia asks you to hand her over

[bwat5-blog]

Pivotal moments for Caitlyn Kirraman

**Spoilers for all of Arcane**

Much Like Vi I wanted to do a run-down of the moments for Caitlyn's character I see as showing us who she is/having the biggest impact for her character. As always I appreciate anyone who takes the time to read these as well all celebrate these amazing characters and story. I feel Caitlyn's arc was massively under-appreciated in season 2 by the fandom and hope this lends itself to backing that up.

*Side Note- I'm doing these in order in her life not necessarily how we see them in the show*

Helping Jayce:

We are not granted a lot of time with young Caitlyn when compared to say, Vi or Jinx, which makes sense of course given the focus of the story. However, what we are given perfectly demonstrate the bedrock of who we come to know. She is shown as bright and curious and eager, helping him carry supplies to the lab. She is also shown even at a young age standing up for Jayce to her parents, sitting out in the rain to speak with him, and as shown above, identifying herself as a misfit. Now on the surface its easy to say she falls into the "rich kid who doesn't belong" trope. But as we come to know her she is truly so much more than that.

Who Do You Shoot For?:

Building on Caitlyn's compassion and defiance in the face of the system she is born into, we have her shooting competition with Grayson. First of all we just get a glimpse into the tough, skilled marksman she will become. But going deeper, we have her interaction with Grayson at the party. Once again she demonstrates that ever-so-polite defiance, humorously confronting the sheriff of Piltover for letting her win. But its their conversation after that's important. The sheriff tells her being skilled with her rife means protecting people, and Caitlyn must decide who she is shooting for. I would liken this to Vi's lessons with Vander. Because while we see Caitlyn go through so much pain and darkness, ultimately when she finds her way back who is she? A leader will go toe-to-toe with anyone for those she wants to protect. For those she shoots for.

The Airship incident:

This our first real moment with Caitlyn as a character and it tells us several important things about her. Leading up to it, we learn her parents disapprove of her being an enforcer, and manipulated her posting to keep her close by for which she is resentful. This is not surprising, as we come to learn her genuine drive to help and make a difference. She goes to investigate the airship alone. We see her detective's mind at work for the first time, playing out the incident. We then see her interaction with a massive, tattooed undercity criminal who is wounded. She is kind, gentle and respectful despite her role as an enforcer. Furthermore, when Marcus confronts her, he says she's interfering AGAIN. Caitlyn may be naïve and sheltered when we meet her, but she is not PLAYING at being an enforcer. She wants to help, and is actively trying to figure out what's going on in the undercity, apparently long before she even meets Vi.

The Hexgem theft:

This marks Caitlyn's first interaction with Jinx, which could not be more important to her Arc. Her very first impression of the woman she could never have known would impact her life so greatly, is a manic terrorist who lights a building on fire and fakes that a child is trapped inside before setting off bombs that kill multiple of Caitlyn's peers. Also of note, although not unexpected with what we have seen from her so far is that she rushes in to help and is the first one to notice the danger despite being a rookie enforcer.

Meeting Vi:

Meeting and freeing Vi is Caitlyn first step into the wider world around her and has immeasurable impact on her character. Her love story with Vi aside (I love it to, its just I could write pages on them alone and I am trying to cover all of her arc in this post haha) we also see her head strong, determined nature in this moment. Remember, she has already been reprimanded for unauthorized investigations into Silco and the undercity. We have been told she has a history of this. When Jayce goes to see her after the explosion she is still investigating, and now she fakes Jayce's authorization to free a woman she doesn't know in order to chase her lead. SHE. WILL. NOT. QUIT. Sound like she may be a good fit for a certain head strong boxer who lacks patience but is always honest? Anyway, the other thing we see here that is a small moment and not unexpected given what we have seen from her, is her disgust and discomfort over how the prison has treated Vi.

Saving Vi Part 1:

Vi is almost certainly about to be killed when Caitlyn intervenes. She accurately strikes Sevika multiple times with her rifle and is controlled and calm. At a first glance her accuracy and skill are plenty commendable. She hits the same spot with accuracy, lands with clear athleticism to join Vi, is calm, collected, confidant and restrained enough not to Kill Sevika. As soon as the threat is passed she tends to her wounded ally. Now here's the thing. I didn't do a bullet point for it, but consider Caitlyn's behavior following Vi down into the lanes. Part of it is of course that it was unfamiliar and shocking when vi took off, and Caitlyn just wasn't used to that sort of thing. But she was kind of adorably clumsy and unsure. She never really moves with confidence and strength, until of course she pulls our a rifle and starts blasting a woman who just stabbed her new friend with pint point accuracy three times. The moment someone's life is at risk Caitlyn shows us this entirely new side of herself. Perhaps the side of her that will someday lead the front lines in the battle of Piltover?

Saving Vi part two:

n Caitlyn's continuing efforts to save Vi we delve deeper into what we have already seen from her. At the very basic level, she barely knows Vi. Yes of course we are seeing the beginnings of their feelings for each-other. But that aside she is a young woman in her early twenties. She has followed this woman she barely knows into this very dangerous place, saved her from being killed, followed her even deeper while caring for her, and now she follows a shimmer mutated Huck to the "Doctor" to save Vi. I went to Netflix and counted while writing this. It takes no more than ten seconds for her to surrender her prized rifle that is likely custom made for her and she clearly loves, all to save Vi's life. She then hugs the grotesquely mutated Huck out of gratitude after being kind to him, and showing him respect for his help. She does not shy away, is not disgusted. And in fact she lunges for the hug. This ties to her conversation with Vi during this ordeal before she gives up her rifle. In which she is speaking on her belief that Zaunites and Topsiders are all just people. She does not see them as different.

The Firelights:

To me this is a massively important point for Caitlyn for a few reasons.

Caitlyn & Vi: They start off bickering. Blaming each other for what they have played close to the vest. But as soon as Vi is taken away what does Caitlyn do? She is concerned and afraid for her. And when she sees Ekko she demands Vi be released and offers herself instead.

in General: She speaks to her desire to see an end to the killing. Its clear she hasn't known how bad things actually are with the enforcers and the undercity, and is understandably resistant at first. But after only a few moments, she acknowledges Ekko would be within his rights to keep the gemstone but "The Cycle of Violence Will Never Stop" (sound familiar?). She quickly agrees to let Ekko be the one to give the stone to the council, still believing in peace and trying to play a part in making it happen.

**Side note: I didn't do a whole point on it because it's really about Vi and Jinx. But we need to make note that before this Caitlyn has her second interaction with Jinx in which Jinx shows herself to be paranoid, unstable and violent**

The Bridge:

The attack on the bridge is immensely impactful on Caitlyn's character and what I like to think of as the true beginning of Caitlyn's destabilization, leading to her descent into the dark. Thus far, we have watched this extraordinary young woman weather some truly insane events when you consider the life she has lead until now. Even still, she has remained poised, brave, respectful and open. Of course she has heard talk about brutality of her people toward the undercity. She has admitted it was wrong and wants to see things made right. But that is very different than the highest member of her organization shooting her new friend in the chest and getting ready to kill her. Its a sudden and violent in-the-moment thrusting of reality upon her that she has no choice but to believe. Furthermore, we mark her next interaction with Jinx, who has now almost killed her a third time, as well as almost killing Vi and they believe having killed Ekko and who knows how many enforcers.

Testifying To The Council:

So I know I am repeating myself some here. But that is intentional. The show is driving home for us that Caitlyn is truly a good person. Everything she has been through up until now with Vi is intense, scary, and destabilizing. She and Vi have very real feelings for each other and we end this section with very sad moment in which it seems hopeless for them. But its leading up to that I want to discuss. Caitlyn stands before the council of Piltover. The richest and most powerful people in her immediate world. With her mother on the council it feels reasonable to assume she knows these people. They probably have watched her grow up. And yet in her early twenties after earning the knowledge the hard way what does she do? She stands before them and calls them out for their failures. Including herself in that. She takes a stand against the neglect by Piltover that made the people of the undercity vulnerable to dangerous criminals. She commends Vi for putting herself at risk in helping Caitlyn, and never throws Vi under the bus as Jinx's older sister. And when Vi gets upset and leaves Caitlyn tries to get her to stay still insisting their must be a way.

Abduction From Home/Dinner Party:

In her next interaction with Jinx, Caitlyn is taken from the safety of her own home, and held hostage until Jinx initiates her dinner party with Vi. The events of the dinner party set the stage for the next chapter of the story dramatically affecting every character we meet, and Caitlyn is no exception. As this is the end of season 1, a brief refresher of who we have come to know up until this point is in order:

Clever, bright and loyal young girl who will defy convention to stand up for those she loves

Tenacious and dedicated teenage girl who doesn't want to earn her victories and is pondering things like who she is shooting for

Dedicated rookie enforcer who will not be deterred from investigating wrong doing and corruption no matter the cost

Open minded and trusting young woman in her early twenties who saves someone she barely knows life, even at the cost of her prized weapon and her own safety multiple times

Displays her desire to see peace with the undercity multiple times and verbally equates the undercity and topsiders in terms of humanity going against the classist behavior of characters like Marcus for example.

Treats Vi with tenderness, loyalty and trust even before they really get to know each-other.

Now. The reason I ran that down again is because THAT young woman in her early twenties is the person you see in the GIF above you. Jinx has now tried to kill her repeatedly. Killed her fellow enforcers. Tried to kill the woman she is having feelings for, even though that woman is her sister. Has abducted her from her bathroom naked, and now has her here. She looks utterly and completely terrified and I don't blame her. And to top it all off, after hesitating to take a shot at Jinx due to her feelings for Vi, Caitlyn is knocked out violently and THEN HAS TO WATCH JINX KILL HER MOTHER.

RETURN TO PILTOVER:

Caitlyn and Vi return to the upper city in the wake of immense tragedy and we see Caitlyn trying to hold it all together. Her whole world has gone black & White except for Violet(s). She is trying so hard to keep it together but already we can see the cracks forming. Even with all that has happened she maintains her testimony of Jinx being the only issue which is instrumental in preventing more violent Piltover retaliation. But we must also recognize her (totally understandable just jarring) desire to end Jinx's laugh forever, Mel's comments to Jayce regarding Caitlyn hiding it well but being in "So Much Pain", and Caitlyn asking Vi to put on the uniform of an Enforcer, when she knows Vi's history. Caitlyn is suffering and trying to hard to hold things together.

The Memorial Attack:

Caitlyn is drowning in grief. Her relationship with Vi is tenuous. She is expected to rise to meet her mothers role in city. She is holding on for dear life to her ideals and perceptions of reality that have shaped her as a person. Now the attack on the memorial is incredible as a fan for many reasons. But for Caitlyn we need to keep two things in mind as we move forward that at extremely impactful in understanding her:

There is no reason to think she and the others would not assume that Jinx had ordered this attack, or at the very least assisted in some way. The last they saw of Vi's sister she had just struck at the very heart of Piltover's government and its entirely reasonable to assume this attack is an extension of that. So I think its fair to say we can consider this Caitlyn's next interaction with Jinx even if its all mental.

Up until now, Caitlyn has never used any broad-stroke negativity toward the people of the undercity. She has addressed individuals, or perhaps a specific group of people in the undercity such as Silco's goons. But never called them Trenchers, Sump rats or any of that other stuff. Here in her rage, we see her refer to the people who attacked as Animals. Now in the moment, its entirely reasonable when pertaining to the attackers. But it is a noticable shift in her that tells us she is already (quite understandably) being swallowed by what happened.

The Strike Team:

Caitlyn leading the strike team into Zaun and utilizing the grey has been the source of much controversy. Its a clear escalation in her willingness to do violence against the undercity but when you consider everything we have talked about its hardly a shock. However, this show does a good job of letting us know Caitlyn is not totally lost to her pain. All we have to do is think critically:

While the use of the grey is extremely dark and absolutely morally questionable, the fandom's decision to portray it as mustard gas/sarin/pick your lethal poison is nonsense. We have seen multiple characters exposed to it multiple times and live. Its debilitating in the moment and uncomfortable and I'm sure is unhealthy over long exposure. Its tear gas.

Caitlyn's small targeted force is the alternative to full-scale invasion with hex tech armed enforcers. As I have said in various posts, by this point in the story Piltover retaliating is not an if. its a when and how bad. Caitlyns plan is the only reason an army of Enforcers does not march into the undercity at this point.

All that to say this. While she is clearly heading down a dark path, excising the hyperbole of the fan-base determined to demonize her and taking into account the whole of the circumstances surrounding this part of the story we are shown Caitlyn is still in there. But she is losing the fight with her inner-demons.

The Kiss:

We all cheered here. I did. You know you did. But I think we all knew the heartbreaking truth here as well. It was far too late for her to keep her promise to Vi. And in truth, it wasn't a fair thing for Vi to ask (BEFORE YOU COME FOR ME- Vi is my favorite character, and I have written extensively in her defense against the absolutely inane criticisms people have been levelling at her character). It's not Vi's fault, she has lost everyone she loves and is terrified watching the last person she has left be warped by the darkness in their lives. But when you consider the totality of paradigm-shifting suffering Caitlyn has endured since meeting Vi, I don't know how anyone couldn't change.

I have seen people say that Caitlyn was wrong to promise Vi. Wrong to kiss her in this moment. Those people are holding these characters to unreasonable standards in the extreme. We are seeing Caitlyn trying for the woman she loves. She sees the vulnerability and fear in Vi, the woman she loves so much, who she has been through so much with (and who has donned the Enforcer uniform for her) and of course she has a surge of love and a desire to comfort Vi. The love and tenderness is undeniable. But when you take in the context of the situation, It feels like we are waiting for the floor to fall out from under us. AND BOY DOES IT.

The Battle/The Break up/The Rise of the Commander:

I group these together because really its the transition of Caitlyn as we know her into "The Commander". This whole section is in a word, heartbreaking. We see Caitlyn fighting tooth and nail against Sevika, she likely saves Vi's life as it seems like Isha's gun was going to go off (whether the child meant it to or not), and Vi stops Caitlyn from taking the shot. Leading to Caitlyn lashing out in the worst way, telling Vi she is no different than the woman who killed Caitlyn's mother (AKA the version of Vi's sister Caitlyn knows Vi carries immense guilt over) and ending her status as the only enforcer never to abuse Vi, leaving her holding her stomach and crying on the floor while Caitlyn abandons her. We then see Caitlyn chosen as the commander, taking her place by Ambessa's side, becoming someone who would betray everything she used to stand for .

Its easy to look at this, and feel anger at Caitlyn. Especially as someone who has always connected with Vi's character and as someone who really loves their love story it leaves you feeling violated. But that's the thing, it should. We are not watching Caitlyn choose power out of a desire to destroy her enemies or because she thinks she deserves it. We are watching the tragic culmination of this brave, compassionate, brilliant and tenacious young woman being swallowed by the darkness. What's the line from Hamilton? "There are moments when your in so deep, it feels easier to just swim down". She has lost her mother, her sense of safety, her belief in the system of law and order she has lived her whole life by, and now the woman she loves. And in swoops Ambessa, a warlord. A woman renowned for her cleverness and manipulation. She takes this vulnerable, grieving, isolated and angry young woman and tells her she will get her justice. Caitlyn never had a chance.

**A small pause to discuss grief and peoples absolutely insane take on Caitlyn's handling of hers**

I am going to take a second here before we move on because due to the rushed pacing of season 2 Caitlyn doesn't get the detail she should have after this point, and because the discussion of her loss and grief is essential in understanding how this all happened. This is one of those things I have written about before but peoples dogmatic opposition to media literacy continues so here we go! "Ku Klux Kirraman!", "Oh the people of the undercity live in constant pain and death but Caitlyn loses a single family member and starts gassing kids?!"

To put it simply my friends. Grief is not a contest. Yes, of course the people growing up in the undercity have a much better understanding of death and grief than Caitlyn. up until the events of this story, she has lived a life of peace, and privilege, and comfort . And that's not a bad thing. ideally all children would know such a life if we could work our will upon the world right? But what it means for her is that when she does experience that loss, to say nothing of it being at the hands of a woman who has tried to kill her repeatedly, tried to kill the woman she loves, killed her peers, and abducted her naked from her own bathroom, Caitlyn's entire world is shifted. I have mentioned multiple times during this whole thing. She is only in her early twenties. That is so young.. so fucking young to have your world shift SO VIOLENTLY in such a short time. And in the standard incredible fashion of this show, they have addressed this concept already. Remember this?

Vi is angry at Jayce for bowing out due to the under city child's death. And for her, for the way she grew up she is totally justified in feeling that way. She grew up surrounded by death. But its just too much for Jayce.

I sincerely hope all of you reading this never have to cope with the loss of a loved one but we all know that's not reality. So if you are one of the people demonizing Caitlyn for what happens here because Zaunites have it worse I'll ask you this. The last time you lost someone, did you chastise yourself because someone somewhere has it worse? No. Because that's unreasonable, illogical, and would be a cruel standard to hold yourself to. Grief is achingly, agonizingly personal to each of us. And while it does not justify Caitlyn's actions, you are simply blind folding yourself to the humanity of this character by ignoring it

Months as the Commander:

As I said unfortunately we don't get to see a lot of Caitlyn "as the commander" but we do learn some things. There are check-points in Zaun, they are imprisoning people, and under the oppressions she has allowed to flourish the Noxians are able to do things like violently arrest people for having a non-violent rally in the Undercity itself. THINGS ARE NOT GREAT. But there some things of note I want to discuss in understanding Caitlyn's state of mind during this time:

The top GIF is not long enough but watching the scene you can see how distant Caitlyn is, how cold. She is not a "happy-go-lucky" facist gleefully imposing her will. We are actively watching someone in so much pain and so buried by her mistakes she doesn't know how to find her way out.

2. All is not lost however. She discusses her issues with the Noxians behavior, she openly questions Ambessa, she has forbidden the use of the cells where she found the love of her life, and despite her mentor's glee over the opportunity to utilize Singed and his knowledge. Caitlyn knows him for what he is, a monster.

Reunited With Vi:

The pacing just takes off at a dead sprint once Vi and Caitlyn find each other so I will touch briefly on the various points I want to for this section. I will say this, I know we all have feelings on how they handled Vi and Caitlyn's reconciliation. I am of the opinion that it was justified by what they showed us completely, but it was still rushed. Like they got the right answer on the math question but only shared the basics of every step to solving it if that makes sense.

Saving Vander

Vi and Caitlyn have this first interaction after so long and its so clear they have both changed so much. But what matters is this. Even after everything Caitlyn has done, Vi trusts her with the truth (Because Vi refuses to give up on those she loves), and Caitlyn immediately is on board. This happens so quickly and we only see them discuss it a little, but we need to think about what this means. Caitlyn finds out the "Weapon" is Vi's dad, and she is ready to turn on Ambessa, the enforcers with her, and the whole system. All for the woman she loves

2. The Battle of the Commune:

So I couldn't find a good GIF for it but even before this moment while Caitlyn is angry when she sees Jinx she doesn't make a move toward her. Then we hit this moment here. If you flash back to the battle that ended in Caitlyn breaking Vi's heart, Caitlyn wanted to take a shot that very likely could have killed a child if it meant hurting jinx. Now Jinx is running with her back to Caitlyn and ALL she cares about is getting to Vi

3. Taking Accountability:

We find out in this confrontation that although Jinx is in jail, it is because she surrendered. Not because Caitlyn ordered it. We also have a few key examples of Caitlyn owning what she has done:

"I KNOW!"- when confronted by Vi over letting Ambessa poison her heart

"We can't erase our mistakes"- She doesn't say "Jinx" can't take back her mistakes. She says "We" and "Our". She is clearly remorseful.

This rolls directly into her conversation with Jinx in which we see even more that Caitlyn knows what she has done:

"No good deed can erase OUR crimes"- Once again holding herself to the same standard as the woman who killed her mother. Holding herself accountable

"I've hated myself"- This could literally not be more clear

*On Cait and Jinx*: I've touched on this before but the parallels between these two are phenomenal. Broken, vulnerable, isolated grieving young women taken in by older, cleverer mentors with their own agendas but who care about them directing their pain for their own purposes. They then both have to learn to end the cycle, or the killing will never stop. Damn this show is so good.

Freeing Jinx:

Caitlyn made a lot of mistakes. That's not a secret. There were reasons as I and many and others have explained. But in this moment, she has intentionally paved the way for the woman she loves, to free her little sister from Jail. This comes after Cait admitting she doesn't want to hate Jinx any more. The cycle has to end. And Caitlyn admitting she has made mistakes, she has hated herself, she has lost herself to the darkness she now knows she has inside as well. And on top of that, she is here showing Vi that Vi is not alone, that Vi is loved, and that she knows Vi so well she knew what she would do and tried to help. its beautiful, its heartwarming, and after watching who Caitlyn was be shattered into pieces, we are now seeing her re-forged, stronger and more beautiful.

Commander Indeed:

Here we have Caitlyn becoming the commander she should have been. I believe I saw a post that one of the voice actors of the show suggested Caitlyn did nothing during the final battle and got her happy ending. Lets recap shall we:

Leads her troops from the front

Tries to take out Ambessa early and spare bloodshed

We have the bad-ass scene of her fighting with the mask taking out multiple soldiers

Even with a rifle at the back of her head she disables Maddie and tries to take out Ambessa

With a knife in her side and exhausted and scared she challenges A WARLORD OF NOXUS to a fight. "Shut Up and Fight!"

Sacrifices her own eye to take Ambessa out of the fight.

This is all pretty clear cut but I mean god damn. Her character evolution is absolutely staggering.

The End:

Caitlyn ends her story (for now anyway.. looking at your Riot) with the woman she loves. She has surrendered her spot on the Council to Sevika officially granting the undercity a place at the table. And we see her pondering the hex-gate ventilation system, perhaps giving us some hope that Jinx will return as well. I totally understand there are things people wanted to see with Caitlyn that we didn't get to see. But all we can control is what we were given. And when you look at the story of Caitlyn Kiramman, Born in wealth and privilege but with dreams of helping people, to being swallowed by grief, to finding common ground with the woman who took her mother from her, to rising as a leader who doesn't ask her people to fight when she won't and who willingly sacrifices herself for those who look follow her, I'd say she has one hell of an arc. I hope I did her some justice. This actually ended up being longer than i planned but man the more I think about her the more in-depth her story gets. I appreciate all of you.

[cupidlovesastro]

🌞𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣 𝕡𝕠𝕤𝕥 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕝𝕕 𝕖𝕟𝕛𝕠𝕪 🌙

astrology observations #16 (child of the sun)

fire sign observations

fixed sign observations

leo is ruled by the sun, the planet of self expression, identity, life, your core, the ego, your father, masculinity, energy, your personality, what’s conscious. leo’s are positive, loving, passionate, bold, dramatic, assertive, courageous, confident, leaders, determined, and enjoy attention

moon represents emotions, intuitions, comforts, unconscious mind, instincts, spirituality, motherhood, fertility, femininity, and your home.

topics covered in this post- emotions, good mom traits, bad mom traits, leo moon face, your house/ room, leo moon celebrities

♌︎ your emotions may be quite dramatic and bold. they may also lead you whenever you are upset. you may over identify with your emotions as well, or just identify with them in general. you may relate more to your moon sign than other placements. you may be someone who’s very optimistic and tries to see the good in everything. your emotions may make you take risk, sometimes beneficial, but also sometimes not so much. you have a lot of emotional energy as well, it can be draining at times for you and possibly for others. you are confident in your emotions though and confident in your intuition. you may be someone who follows your heart and gut feeling often. you can also be very confrontational when has hurt your feelings. you are someone who is very loving and affectionate, and you may express this often. you may also have a lot of love in your heart in general. when low vibrational or unevolved, you could seek attention through your emotions. you might make a bigger deal out of things for the attention of it all. since this is a fixed sign, you may be quite stuck in your feelings often, and stand beside them no matter what others think. a lot of “i feel how i feel” energy

♌︎ the moon can also represent comfort. tv shows may help comfort you, especially reality tv or shows that are in the drama genre. you may also like theater and plays. you may also enjoy things that make you feel seen or heard. venting and ranting may help, especially on a platform of some kind, but also loved ones. having an item you really love may also be very comforting. i can also see this placement feeling comforted when they were able to pour their heart out

♌︎ if your mom was a good mom she showed you lots of affection and attention. she may have also put you in things in school that would give you a lot of confidence, respect, scholarship, etc. making you feel confident was also important to her, just as much as making you feel loved. she could be a confident person herself and had leader like qualities. she may not back down from an arguments and likely didn’t let people walk over her many people may look up to her. she was an optimistic person herself. she was also very hand on with you and could’ve showed her affection in various ways, but mainly physical touch

♌︎ if your mom was a bad mom she may have been an attention seeker and may have used you so she can get attention as well. she could’ve been pessimistic and not a very confident person. she could’ve struggled to show you that she loves you and could’ve been more distant than hands on. she may be very controlling or manipulative as well. there could’ve also been lots of love bombing. she may have been an angry person who lost her temper often too. she could’ve had a complex as well, and thought she was better than everyone else

♌︎ moon can represent the face. leo moon celebrities can have a face of a cat. they also tend to have slimmer eyes, upturn almond eyes especially. longer nose bridges that are pointier at the tip. as well as higher cheek bones and shorter/ rounder faces

♌︎ you may want a house that’s very self expressive. you want people to walk in your house and immediately feel your vibes or energy. you also want your house to give a positive energy and impression. if or when you live with people you are definitely the boss of the house. you could like your house or room to have bold colors or a dramatized version of an aesthetic. like you will go all the way for the aesthetic of your house. your house, wether it’s the exterior or interior, catches people’s attention quite easily. your house has very loving energy and definitely give people good vibes. if you don’t have a house/apartment, it could apply to your room

♌︎ leo moon celebrities- megan thee stallion, marilyn manson, paris hilton, halle berry, queen elizabeth the 2nd, david bowie, monica bellucci, lana del rey, megan fox

[amiya-shirou]

Spoilers about Babel and Zwillingstürme im Herbst

I was thinking about Arknights' recurring dynamic of siblings who must confront each other no matter how important the other is for them and realized there are more parallels than I expected between Theresa/Theresis and Arturia/Federico - to the point the latter pair feels like a still growing, less actualized, somewhat inverted version of the first.

Arturia is Theresa: focused on emotion and empathy, has weird mental powers (that interact pretty well with Theresa's, as seen in her interactions with Amiya), her ultimate ideal is a level of connection that goes beyond the scope of her own civilization and in trying to achieve it she's at the same time dooming herself, her halo almost looks like the Black Crown (which I doubt wasn't intended, since the Law is definitely comparable to Civilight Eterna). The contrasts between them are pretty evident too: a white Devil who perfectly looks the part of the saintess and a black Angel who perfectly looks the part of the villainess.

Federico is Theresis: the more down-to heart, more serious, less idealistic brother, who has difficulties expressing emotions to others (or even understanding them in Fede's case) and is extremely close to his sister but also feels he must stop her as her ideals lead her down a dangerous path for others. Theresa/Arturia are going against the will of the Myriad Souls/the Law, and Theresis/Federico confront them by acting as protectors of that will for the sake of the people that would be affected. Even in this case, there are evident contrasts: Theresis is seen as a negative figure, the villain in Theresa's story, while Federico is seen positively and Arturia is presented as the villain in his story.

Despite everything, the siblings know each other best. Federico can tell if a crime is Arturia's fault or not because he understands her more than anyone else; when Arturia's ideals crumble after the discussion with the Witch King and she seeks death, Federico is the one she wants to be killed by. Years of civil war and aiming for the others' destruction didn't put a dent in the trust and affection that exists between the Sarkaz twins, and when they're reunited in Londinium they're once again betting everything on each other like it's the most natural thing do to.

Civilight Eterna chose both Theresa and Theresis as successors for the will of the Sarkaz; they were special, the legendary twins with the potential to change Kazdel's fate. The Law calculated the immense adversities Terra is going to face in future, and chose both Arturia and Federico as the next Saints, essential for Laterano to prepare against them.

The one advantage the Giallos have over the twins is that they're younger, less caged by the collective will of their people. They can still reach a good middle point and work together for a better future without needing to extinguish the other for their ideal to prevail. While Theresa and Theresis understood the value of the other's belief, they were fundamentally opposed because they acted as the symbols of two separated possibilities for the Sarkaz, possibilities that clashed with each other despite their continued survival being the ultimate objective for both. Instead, Zwillingstürme im Herbst shows Federico taking steps towards Arturia and learning to use emotion as a way to understand her even if he can't feel them the same way she does, while Arturia realized the value of Federico's logical approach and that his approach can make her objective more concrete rather than just an abstract ideal.

Federico helps Arturia give footing to her philosophical inquiries, reminding her that it is possible to find an answer and reach a conclusion and that her ideals do not need to remain abstract but she can actually take steps to realize them; meanwhile, for how strong the Kazdel twins' bond is, Theresis will always be an eternal reminder that most of the Sarkaz reject Theresa and her dreams for an hopeful future, and was never able to truly help her sustain Babel. And just as Federico one-ups Theresis on this matter, the same does Arturia to Theresa: she wants to see her ideal realized, she has learned that she also has a role in her utopia and that she shouldn't forget about herself while seeking it, in opposition to how Theresa can only see herself as a sacrifice, the soil upon which the flowers will grow after her death. Theresa and Theresis were doomed by the weight of Kazdel's history and suffering, but the two Sankta's story ends in a hopeful tone as their fate is not yet written, and in fact both of them are less a symbol of the will of Laterano and more clear outsiders in their society, rare different voices in a very conformist state and thus have the potential to change it rather than be shackled by their people's voices.

[co-dependance]

I’ve seen people talk about the main theme of the owl house being acceptance, and I think they’re completely right about that. But I haven’t really seen anyone look at the sub themes depicted in the show around the acceptance theme.

Specifically how the owl house is really advocating for child autonomy. Specifically in the ways of discipline, showing that communicating and talking with children ends up being a lot more beneficial and effective than punishing them.

The most obvious example comes with the collector, where instead of talking to him, King’s dad punished the kid by putting him in essentially time out, for the actions of his siblings. Which he would’ve learned if he had talked to the collector. And then following that, every interaction before talking with Luz, has the collector being used or placated in some way instead of being treated like an actual child due to the amount of power he has. The titan trappers revering him as some sort of god, Belos manipulating him, and even king attempting to appease the collector, instead of really talking to him. Though for king it’s a bit more understandable. Even so, the show showcases the collector’s change only after he’s talked to like a person, and then shown why his views were wrong.

Luz, who’s the main focus of the show, has her character arc and journey centered around being punished for her not fitting in at school. And while, yes, some of Luz’s antics that were shown seemed to be legitimately dangerous, the real solution would’ve been to talk with her and teach her about safety and why bringing wild animals and fireworks into a school building is dangerous. It should have also been that Luz should be able to talk and negotiate with her teacher about what would be acceptable for her projects with her endless creativity. The solution was not to essentially punish Luz for being creative, and what that only did was make her feel worse about herself and more isolated from the people she thought would be on her side. And then we were shown in thanks to them and for the future, Camilla’s growth into understanding that not talking to Luz about this, and essentially forcing her into normality, was not the way to go about things.

And we see this theme again, with Willow forced into the abomination track because her parent’s thought that was what was best for her, until she was able to showcase her skills and switch to what she was actually good at. Alador realizing he missed a lot of Amity’s growth by not talking to her, and then making it up to Amity by letting her set the boundaries and reestablishing their relationship. Odalia being controlling and not listening to her children which lead to actively harming their social development, until she was confronted and then shut out. Belos manipulating Hunter, isolating him, and abusing him, not even listening to what he had to say. And all of these situations were made better and more bearable when they were given the chance to take charge and be heard.

All this, in an attempt to showcase that children can be vulnerable and malleable, but they are also smart and understanding. And instead of deciding what a child needs, it’s important to communicate with the child instead, asking what they need and listening to what they’re saying. And implementing that by guiding and supporting them, not attempting to control them to what someone else thinks is right.

Children are smart and observant, they just need to be taught how to communicate, and viewed and thought of as actual human beings.

In a way, the owl house is attempting to advocate for it’s audience, and that’s beautiful.

[serpentandlily]

Butterfly Fly Away

Butterfly Fly Away - Platonic!Reader x BatBoys

Summary: You’ve been bestfriends with Rhys, Cassian and Azriel since childhood but with the new additions to your Inner Circle, it's starting to feel like you are being replaced. When confronted, your three friends brush off your concerns, leading you to believe it’s time to move on and start a life of your own. But once you’re gone, the three brothers begin to realize just how much they need you in their lives. 

Based on this request.

Warnings: A mix of angst and fluff. 

❀⊱♡⊰❀

Butterfly Fly Away

❀⊱♡⊰❀

You let out a long shaky breath, sitting on the edge of your bed, looking around your now empty room in the Townhouse. You had packed up everything. Your clothes, your trinkets, the parchments full of scribbles from Nyx, the painting Feyre had gifted you of the whole family together. All of it.

Your chest felt hollow. The silence and emptiness was deafening. So many memories were made in this room, down these halls, in this city. The thought of leaving that all behind made your heart ache but the thought of staying here hurt worse. 

You had met Rhysand, Azriel and Cassian during your youth and struck a friendship with them. A friendship that had grown and grown into what felt like an impenetrable bond between the three of you. 

And they had always stressed how much importance you had within the family. The peacemaker, the mediator, the one who could end fights between them before they even began. Your magic was able to read the emotions of others, making you adept at talking others through their own feelings—of helping them understand why they felt the way they did. 

It was really the only thing you were good for. You weren’t a skilled fighter, or strategist, or politician. All weakness you hated considering your family was made of the most powerful fae.

But when it came to matters of the heart? Well, you were an expert. For everyone else anyways, considering yours was currently being torn apart. 

You had been there for each of them during the best and worst of days. Through the war, through Rhysand losing his family, through the forty-nine years without him. The four of you with Mor and Amren included had built a small family together. 

A family that was no longer around because they had all found another. And you had been left with none. 

Slowly but surely they had completely erased your spot in the family with the Archeron sisters. It wasn’t even that you didn’t like the three sisters. Each of them had a special place in your heart. But they changed the dynamic of the group so drastically. 

And you no longer felt like you belonged. 

Mor had felt it too, which was why she was more than happy to be sent to the continent to work on alliances there. Amren had found herself a lover and seemed content with keeping him all to herself. 

But you…you had nothing without them. Or at least, that’s what it felt like. 

You had tried to bring it up with them, had tried to hint that you felt a bit left out and neglected. But they had brushed you off, telling you it was time you “found a life of your own like they had.” You thought you did have a life of your own already. Here. But apparently that was not the case. 

You let out another sigh as you stared at the last three things you had to pack. You picked up the first one, a smooth rock—a red creek jasper. You still remembered the day Azriel had given it to you when you both were only eleven. 

❀⊱♡⊰❀

“You can do it, Az!” you shouted. 

You were standing underneath a very large boulder, holding a hand over your eyes as the sun shone down on you and Rhys. Cassian and Azriel were both on top of the boulder, wings spread wide as Cassian tried to direct Azriel on how to fly. 

Azriel’s face was nearly white and you could tell even from where you were standing that his hands were shaking. You took a few steps closer to the rock, holding your little arms out. 

“I’ll catch you if you fall,” you yelled up to him. “I promise!”

It was at that moment that Cassian decided he was over waiting for Azriel to jump and pushed the boy off the rock instead. Azriel shrieked, a sound he had never made before, and frantically tried to pump his wings but it was no use. He crashed right into you, sending you both sprawling on the ground.

“Y/n,” he gasped, rolling off of you. “Are you okay?” 

His eyes were wide with both shock and concern. They only widen more when you burst out laughing, clutching your stomach. It hurt, a lot. You were both eleven but Azriel was already bigger than you. 

“I told you I’d catch you!” The look on his normally unreadable face sent you into another fit of giggles. 

Later that day, Azriel had gone to the nearby creek and dug around for hours looking for the perfect rock to give you, knowing you liked collecting the cool ones you found. He had apologized numerous times, even though it had been Cassian’s fault, but he still felt guilty. He finally stumbled on a tiny, smooth rock that was a mixture of dark orange and red swirls.

When he came home that night and offered it to you as another apology, Cassian and Rhys had laughed themselves nearly sick but you had just smiled at the shy boy and squeezed the rock in your hand, holding against your chest. 

❀⊱♡⊰❀

It was the first gift Azriel had given you and it had stayed with you all these years. 

You wrapped it back in the silk handkerchief you kept it in and placed it in your bag. 

Your eyes moved to the next item. A scarf made from various scraps of fabric. Definitely not fashionable, but it had been a special gift from Rhysand.

❀⊱♡⊰❀

“Why do you carry that old blanket around with you still?” The thirteen year-old Rhys was peering at the dirty blanket in your hand with a sneer. “We’re not babies anymore, y/n. You should get rid of it.” 

You pulled the blanket closer to you—a blanket made up of random scraps of fabric, the only thing your mother could afford at the time. It was ratty, falling apart at the seams, but it was special to you. 

“It’s the only thing I have left of her,” you said, quietly, blinking away the tears that started forming in your eyes. 

Your mother had passed away years ago and your father, who had never loved her in the first place, had tossed out all her belongings. You had only managed to get your hands on the blanket before it was taken away.   

Rhys had said nothing else about it until winter solstice came around that year. You hadn’t noticed that he had snuck into your room and taken the blanket—bringing it to his mother to make into something a little better for you to carry around with you. 

❀⊱♡⊰❀

He had given you the scarf that night and every single snowfall, it was the first one you pulled out. You packed it away with a heavy heart. You were moving to the Day Court, something you had already discussed with the Inner Circle, and you would hardly have use for it there. 

The last item sat on your dresser, a white, stuffed pegasus toy—a gift from Cassian. 

❀⊱♡⊰❀

A knock sounded on your door but you ignored it, rolling over in your bed and wiping your tears.

Another knock.

“Y/n! Open up! I know you’re in there,” Cassian shouted through the door.

“Go away, Cass,” you managed to croak out through your tears. “I’m not in the mood.”

There was a pause before he shouted through the door again.

“What’s wrong, y/n? I can tell you’re crying!”

“Nothing, just go away!”

The door burst open and you shot up in your bed, cursing at yourself for not making sure it was locked. Cassian walked into your room, his eyes widening as he took in your appearance. 

“Y/n?” He asked, quietly, shutting the door behind him. “Why are you crying? What happened?”

A tiny sob broke through your lips and Cassian was at your side instantly, wrapping an arm around you. You both were only sixteen, but Cassian was already starting to look more like a male than a boy with how big he was getting. 

“Cyrus b-broke up with me,” you choked out. 

“Oh thank the gods!”

You glared up at Cassian, shoving him away from you.

“Get out if you’re going to be like that.”

He held up his hands in surrender. “Sorry, y/n, I just mean… Well, we all think you’re too good for him, you know. He’s an asshole.”

More tears poured from your eyes and Cassian pulled you to his chest again. “I am really sorry, y/n. I know how much you liked him.”

Cassian had stayed with you that night, holding you until you cried yourself to sleep. When you woke up the next day, a tiny stuffed Pegasus was waiting on your nightstand with a note attached to it.

‘I hope this little guy helps you feel better. But if you need to let off some steam, come find me in the training ring—Cassian.’

❀⊱♡⊰❀

You hugged the pegasus to your chest for a moment before dropping it into your bag with the last of your stuff. 

You were supposed to leave in the morning after a goodbye breakfast with the whole family, but the trip down memory lane had you feeling too upset.

You didn’t know if you could handle seeing them all, especially when they seemed to have no qualms about you leaving. 

Cassian didn’t need a secondary sparring partner to Azriel anymore now that he had Nesta. Rhys didn’t need help reading through correspondence now that he had Feyre. And those serene walks through the woods with Azriel? Well, those went to Elain now. 

You pulled out the copy of keys you had for the Townhouse and River House and set them down on the dresser in the room. You took one last look around, your heart breaking in your chest, before finally winnowing away.

❀⊱♡⊰❀

“This alliance with Vallahan could go two ways,” Rhys said, stroking his jaw. “They fight with us against Koschei and end this whole thing before it becomes a full blown war. Or they’re faking their support and have already sided with Koschei.”

“If they are, the results of that will be devastating,” Mor said with a frown. “Our armies are still so depleted and even with the help of the other courts minus Autumn, Koschei has triple our numbers if Vallahan has already sided with him.” 

Cassian let out a low whistle as he stared over the battle plans. “We’d be fucked. Utterly fucked.”

“We can’t win in that scenario,” Azriel piped up from next to Cassian.

“We can’t win without their help either,” Feyre said. “This decision is everything. Everything relies on this decision. You really couldn’t get a read on them, Mor?” 

Mor shook her head. “They were careful with their wording and vague. They were certainly speaking the truth, but it meant little.”

“Their mental defenses were too strong to get through without force. But if they are being honest and I break into their minds, we might as well kiss the alliance goodbye,” Rhys sighed. “If only there was another way to get a read on them. I hate going into this blind with only our own faith.” 

The room was silent as they all pondered what this meant for the battle against Koschei. 

“There is…someone who could help.”

Everyone’s head whipped towards Cassian. Rhysand waved a hand at him to continue. Cassian swallowed audibly.

“Y/n.”

That name had everyone sitting up straight. Rhysand raised an eyebrow at him, not understanding. Not until it clicked in his head.

“She can read people’s emotions,” he breathed out. “I… I never thought about her using it this way. I just thought it was good for—well, you know.”

“Just meddling?”

Rhys nodded, feeling a bit ashamed. The room went quiet again, everyone soaking in what Cassian was suggesting.

“Would she even help? You all basically ran her out of this court,” Mor huffed, causing tensions to rise. 

“Not this again,” Cassian groaned.

Mor stood from her seat, bristling at Cassian’s words. “I’m being serious. She has been your guys’ friend since you were kids. And you all left her in the dust even after she tried to tell you guys how she felt!”

When Mor had returned from the continent and learned of you leaving the court, she had been beyond angry at the three males for their treatment of you. She had written you several letters apologizing and you had welcomed her back into your life. 

But she was the only one you still talked to. 

The room was dead quiet. Each of the three males shared looks of guilt and embarrassment because Mor was right. They had completely taken you for granted and cast you aside once the sisters started having bigger roles in their life. And they had let you go without even trying to convince you to stay. 

“I miss her.”

Azriel’s voice was so quiet, like he hadn’t even meant to say those words out loud. 

Cassian let out a long sigh. “I miss her too.”

Mor glanced around at the other members of the Inner Circle before gesturing towards the door. “I think the boys need to discuss this amongst themselves.” 

Once the door shut behind Feyre, Rhys leaned forward, resting his elbows on his desk. “I hadn’t realized how much of an impact she had. Things haven’t felt right here without her.” 

“No, they haven’t,” Cassian agreed. “We really did kind of… forget about her. Not intentionally but still.” 

“Have you talked to her?” Azriel asked, looking at his High Lord.

“Have you?”

Azriel looked away in answer, feeling a bit of guilt. 

“Do you think she’s still in the Day Court?” Cassian asked. 

Rhys nodded. “Yes, Helion is quite fond of her it seems.” 

Cassian snickered while a ghost of a grin crossed Azriel’s face. It wasn’t hard to imagine you in Day. You had always been a beacon of light for the group and they knew how easily you made friends wherever you went. It came naturally to you as an empath. 

“Do you think…” Cassian trailed off, sounding a bit insecure. “Do you think she’d come home? If we asked?” 

“She didn’t even say goodbye before she left,” Azriel murmured. 

“We can try but I think we should be honest with her about our feelings,” Rhys said. “I’d hate for her to think we’re just asking her back so she can help us with this.” 

“She’s going to know how we’re feeling anyways,” Cassian laughed. “Remember?”

Rhys grinned, thinking of all the times you had caught them in blatant lies because of your abilities, all the times you meddled with their love lives and friendships too. 

There really was a you-shaped hole in the group now. The three shared a look of guilt. It was a shame it took this long for them to realize it. 

❀⊱♡⊰❀

Three knocks against the door of your small cottage woke you up. You groaned, sitting up and blinking the sleep from your eyes. You had gone to one of Helion’s illustrious parties last night and had not been expecting to be woken up this early.

You shrugged on a silk robe over your nightgown and made your way to your front door.

Your eyes widened in shock as soon as you opened it, staring at the three males you hadn’t seen in a little over a year. You stepped aside, wordlessly, letting them into your new home. The distance had not made the bond between the four of you shrink, even after all this time, it seemed.

They greeted you in their own ways. Azriel with a soft smile, Cassian with a booming hello and hug, and Rhys was a feline grin and pat on the shoulder. You strode to the kitchen as they took a seat in your living room.

“I need coffee,” you announced. “Anyone else?”

“Long night?” Cassian teased.

“Don’t even ask,” you joked back, pulling out four mugs as they all said yes to your offer.

It was silent while the coffee brewed, and their emotions were all over the place. Nervousness, guilt, hope and regret. Your eyebrows furrowed as you grabbed the mugs and set them on the coffee table, taking a seat on an armchair.

“No offense,” you started. “But why are you guys here? I haven’t spoken to any of you in over a year.”

“That’s kind of what we’re here about,” Rhys replied, rubbing the back of his neck.

You raised an eyebrow at them, taking a sip of your coffee.

“I’ll get straight to the point,” he continued. “We…We want you to come home.”

You nearly spit your coffee out. That was not what you were expecting him to say. After all, they didn’t seem very upset when you told them you were leaving the Night Court in the first place.

“Why?” you managed to choke out.

“I’ll be honest. We’re dealing with a situation back home and it made us realize how much of an importance you played, not just in our court but in our lives. We miss you, y/n. We regret how we treated you the past few years.”

“We all just got so caught up in our own problems, we didn’t even realize how much we were neglecting you,” Cassian added with a sincere frown. “You were such a constant in our lives and I guess we sort of took that for granted, assuming you’d always be there.”

“I tried to tell you how I felt,” you murmured, hiding half your face behind your coffee mug.

“I’m sorry for brushing you off,” Azriel said, quietly. “Truly. A lot was happening and like Cassian said, I just figured once we got through it all, things could resume as normal.”

“So why have none of you written to me in the year I’ve been gone?”

“After you left, Mor kind of chewed us out,” Cassian said, sheepishly. “We all just assumed you were mad at us and left because you needed space. I know it’s not a good excuse but well, you know more than anyone that we’ve never been great at communicating.”

You laughed, rolling your eyes. That was the reason you meddled so much. To get them to talk about their feelings, express themselves. It was hard staying quiet when you knew how a person truly felt.

“We miss you and we need you, y/n,” Rhys cut in. “Things haven’t been the same since you left. I’m sorry it took so long for us to realize and I’m sorry for how we treated you. You’re our best friend, our sister. I can’t imagine my life without you in it.”

“Me either.” Both Azriel and Cassian interjected.

You thought about it, thought of the year you spent without them. While you had started anew, made new friends, had lovers, you did miss them dearly. It made you realize something about the bond you all shared, about your friendship in general. Life changes and sometimes people get preoccupied with other things but that bond you felt hadn’t shrunk, hadn’t grown any weaker. It was still the same as it had been the day you left.

They would always be your best friends, your brothers by name.

And their feelings were genuine. You of all people would know.

“Please come home,” Cassian begged. “I need you--we all need you.”

This house was not a home without the people you cared about. As much as you loved the Day Court, it wasn’t the same. Not without all the memories tied to it. And perhaps this had just made your friendship with them stronger, made you all realize how much you needed each other despite now having more priorities in your lives. You couldn’t fault them for finding love, for building families.

The three of them were nearly holding their breath with anticipation, waiting for your answer. A smile broke out on your face and their shoulders dropped.

“Okay,” you finally said. “I’ll come home. But I’m keeping this as my vacation house and you all owe me a years’ worth of mooncakes when we get home.”

Laughter filled the tiny cottage as they eagerly agreed to your terms. A new warmth spread in your chest. You were finally going home back to your true family. 

❀⊱♡⊰❀

[ceaselesswatchersspecialboy]

I’m a little nervous talking about this, but I’ve had these thoughts for a while and want to get them down somewhere, so here we are!

There’s a common discussion within TMA of the Idea of human vs monster, and where the line between that is drawn, and this discussion especially applies to the avatar’s and their feeding habits, their desires to hurt others — their hunger. But, I think, that mentality can often lead to the real question being ignored, and that’s the question or choice.

It’s a common theme within TMA, and is prominent within the Becoming of avatars, and what they do after.

A good way of understanding Jon’s feeding in s4 isn’t through the lens of how human is he, rather it’s through the lens of how similar he and Melanie are. He and Melanie act as foils to each other during s4, their actions and choices emphasising their opposing paths.

The gist of it is both wanted to hurt people. It felt good. Both admit to this fact.

And the reason they chose it, is because they’re hurting. Melanie admits to this outright. She’s been angry so long, with little else for her, lashing out and desperate to survive, and suddenly, she has this thing etched into her bones, telling her that this anger is righteous, that hurting herself and hurting others is good. Both are aware that this isn’t good, of course, but it’s so hard to let go of that little, reassuring voice, because doing so means confronting yourself, and your struggles.

I speak as someone with C-PTSD, but this is a very realistic depiction of how it feels, at least to me personally. When you’ve been so powerless for a long period of time, and suddenly, something or someone tells that it’s okay to lash out, to hurt, it’s easy to fall into the destructive cycle, because hurting other people, taking away their power, it gives you a sense of control back, a sense of power.

It isn’t right, of course it isn’t, but it just feels so good.

This is again shown by Melanie and Jon’s separate paths.

Melanie ends up choosing to recover after the bullet is removed, when she could have just as easily found a new, self-destructive path to go down, and it’s not just because the bullet was removed. Taking away her agency here takes away from her arc. She chooses to accept help and she really does work on bettering herself. She doesn’t want to hurt people anymore. Jon doesn’t do that. He feels he can’t. He’s had his power taken from him more times than he can count, been at the mercy of people and monsters, and finally, finally he has power again. He’s put in the position of the tormentor and it feels good. He finds satisfaction in it. And, as with Melanie, there’s a little voice in the back of his head telling him this is right, no matter how guilty he feels afterwards.

He makes excuses to himself, tries to rationalise his own actions as a way of coping, finding a reason to do it again because it’s all he has. It’s a comfort. Is there a supernatural element present? Absolutely! The relationship between Entity and Avatar is one that can just as much parasitic as it is symbiotic, but I think more of Jon’s character is lost by dismissing his darker choices. If anything, the darker choices emphasise his compassionate choices, and vice versa.

Jon can be a victim and still hurt other people; that’s an important thing to acknowledge. Avatars are not just their fears, there is far more to their hunger than that, and they are who they are because of their choices and wants.

Basically, Jon and Melanie are wonderfully written characters and I really love the themes of choice in TMA, can you tell?

[hyperions-light]

okay everyone today let’s talk about profound, overwhelming emotion as a theme in Veilguard

Sounds fun right

Gonna do like a sort of deconstructed essay thing (or I WAS, but this is an actual essay. Sigh)

Thesis: DATV is exploring how its characters confront and process emotions and events so overwhelming that they could define the characters entire lives if ignored or pushed aside; the player is encouraged to provide the characters with the appropriate emotional tools to dismantle the seemingly impossible obstacles that stand in their way, in order to complete their character arcs and contribute to the resolution of the central conflict.

WOagh this got way long, like REALLY long, so I am cutting here. I hope you didn't think the Grey Warden essay was verbose, bc this is much longer! You've been warned lol

PART I: ISATUNOLL

I feel like we have to talk about Harding first bc what’s more overwhelming than having the entire history of your race shoved on you at once? (I've decided to relocate to the computer, so you know I'm taking this seriously) So Harding gets magic rock powers, and then you have that sort of lull in her story where she's just trying to feel them out, but you can already see the game setting up the dilemma, because she's constantly checking against Rook to see what they think about it. She doesn't know how to feel-- should she be worried, excited? You can encourage her down different paths, but whatever you choose, you're providing a way for her to conceptualize this thing that (as far as she knows) has never really happened to anyone else.

And then when you go to meet the Oracle, the game introduces the idea of this overwhelming rage, this intense frustration that IS hers, but also isn't. She (probably) doesn't know what happened to the Titans by that point (you can do Regrets of the Dread Wolf pretty early but idk if it's able to be finished at that point?) but I think the stone giant you fight there is her inborn anger resonating with the much larger, dormant anger of the Titans. And you see her deny her own anger and her own feelings generally (the coffee scene with Lucanis, while tonally lighthearted, is intended to set this up). Again, Rook can intervene, and this time you also see your companions providing their own advice (Lucanis and Taash both tell her not to hide her anger/try to make people happy and Davrin repeatedly urges her to stand and face 'whatever it is' directly). So both Rook and their friends are supplying tools to deal with this upcoming confrontation.

So, the culmination of the arc comes in Isana Negat, where Harding faces the physically manifested anger of the Titans in the form of herself. She says it is her anger, and it IS, she is angry and they are angry, together; Isatunoll-- I am, we are. She did not know what to do with it, and that is why it is here; the game is positing that avoiding confrontation and acceptance of one's feelings can lead to harm for oneself AND for others. It IS Harding that is attacking you, because it was her raising the enemies in the cavern. But, at the same time, Harding is here out of a desire to protect others, and she is compassionate to this manifestation; she apologizes for not knowing how to confront it and letting it run wild in this way.

Fortunately, by this point Rook and company have already provided her with the tools to be successful in this encounter. She does not turn away from her anger, she does not attempt to run or dissemble as she might have done before. By the time Rook reaches the platform she has already absorbed the being; she is just having a hard time fully accepting it. Rook and the other companion physically grab hold of her, as Rook directs her down the path of acceptance through compassion, or acceptance through embracing anger. It is important that neither choice offers a denial. Through the strength of the unity of the team, here represented by physical closeness, and because Harding herself has changed as a character, she is able to integrate the Titans' anger and affirm that she and the other dwarves will continue to persist in spite of what was done to them. DAI players may recognize this as a well-placed echo of the conversation thread between Solas and Varric about the man who persisted in spite of losing everything; Varric said then that the fact that the man lived, that he continued, was a triumph in itself. The dwarves triumph as a race here, by not allowing the horrific violation committed against the Titans destroy them, and so does Harding.

The final piece of Harding's journey is her meeting with Stalgard and his sister outside of Isana Negat, in front of the mountain that was/is a Titan. She returns to them the knowledge that was lost for centuries, and the anger that comes with it, but affirms that they cannot return to what was; this brings change, GOOD change, to the dwarven people and will redefine them. By successfully accepting this outsized emotional trauma, Harding has helped her people, and becomes a more effective member of her team. Catharsis, acceptance, and emotional growth make her stronger.

PART II: I AM NOT THIS

When Rook meets Lucanis, he has been kept in a prison for a year, being tortured and violated by the Venatori, who have been attempting to turn him into a demon. It hasn't worked correctly, because Lucanis and Spite have an accord. However, you first see him just kind of running around killing whoever he comes across; Rook provide direction and a specific target, a chance for freedom. It is significant here that the prison is underwater; Lucanis is, metaphorically, drowning. The prison is also referred to as the Ossuary, which is a place you store the bones of the dead; the outside world believed he was dead, and, metaphorically, he did die here. You kill his torturer, but it is not enough; the woman who kidnapped him and the orchestrator of his violation still lives.

Rook returns to Treviso where Lucanis finds out that he has truly lost almost everything. His grandmother, Caterina, appears to be dead, and his city, Treviso, is occupied by the Antaam. The only thing he has left is Illario, and he immediately grabs onto the idea that Zara, who he believes killed Caterina, is going to kill Illario, too. He panics in response, but he is trained as a Crow to shut down his emotion, and practiced at doing so from his year spent constantly disassociating in the Ossuary. He says he needs to work; Illario and Teia protest, but he insists. He is returning to the thing he knows how to do, grabbing for a sense of normalcy when everything else is lost and he believes the little he has left is in danger. He will destroy the threat and this will also conveniently allow him to put off his real emotional trauma from the prior year.

Every cutscene Rook has with Lucanis between his major plot events in this section involves him trying to contain and ignore Spite. He tries to constantly stay awake to ensure that the demon cannot take over, and he tries to befriend and placate his new associates by buying them stuff (a VERY rich person thing to do) and taking care of them. He is trying to convince himself and them that he is NOT dangerous; he is not a demon, not an abomination. But he is not confronting his fear, he is only putting it off; often, in conversation with others he will be flippant about Spite, or he will deflect their concern about it. He chooses his 'bedroom' in part because it can contain Spite, and because it is the farthest possible location from the Eluvian, where Spite keeps trying to go (I just noticed that! Very fun!). In the meantime, he is also ignoring the fact that Illario is being extremely suspicious, because he doesn't want to know that his brother is the one who hurt him. Lucanis is an astute person by nature, and could certainly have observed this, had he not been deliberately trying to obscure it from himself.

Davrin is a huge problem for him because he is the most direct person in Veilguard. He shows up and tells Lucanis that if Spite overtakes him, he will kill him. This touches on Lucanis' fear of his own lack of control and drives too directly at what he wants to ignore. They are immediately at odds, which is made worse by Lucanis' 'failure' at Weisshaupt, which causes him to lash out at Davrin. He believes that the fact that he was unable to kill Ghilan'nain is indicative of him losing his abilities as an assassin, which is one of the only familiar things that he has left. Fortunately, Rook and company are there to reassure him; the situation is helped by the presence of Taash, Emmrich and Neve, who are unafraid of Spite, and whom he can rely on to control the demon if he cannot. However, the problem remains that he refuses to seriously deal with Spite in any way. As the inextricable representation of Lucanis' trauma (it would LITERALLY kill him to remove it), ignoring him means Lucanis is unable come to terms with what has happened.

This comes to a head when Illario kills Zara, and Lucanis is unable to stop Spite from almost murdering his brother with his own body in response. This is the final, most devastating loss of control. He apologizes to Rook for the lapse, and tries to refocus on Illario, who he now has definitive proof betrayed him. He says he is going to take everything away from him, but truly this is just another distraction; revenge is not going to be enough because it will just mean that he has nothing on which to focus his and Spite's combined ire, and then he will still have a demon inside him and no accord. What saves him is Rook, and finding out that Caterina is still alive. This is fantastic news because it means he hasn't lost everything, but it also presents a dilemma; is it more important to attack Illario, to seek revenge, even if it endangers Caterina's life? Does he risk what he values most-- his family-- to pursue his vengeance?

I was going to write an entirely separate post on the mind prison, my favorite part of Lucanis' arc, so I'll (try) to be brief here. The metaphorical Ossuary is a prison of Lucanis' fear; those he is scared he will hurt, or who will see him for what he believes he is: a demon. In order to get him out of it, Rook needs to cooperate with Spite, and confront each fear individually, breaking down their flawed presuppositions about Lucanis which are trapping him there. It is also significant that Lucanis himself is unable to articulate that he is trapped, and is even unable to ask for help; it is Spite who invites Rook in and concretizes Lucanis' emotional state. He can't get out alone. When Rook reaches Lucanis he admits that he has been avoiding his emotions but that, "It's just... so much. I don't know where to begin."

What happened to Lucanis was life-alteringly traumatic. It is unsurprising that he does not have the tools to effectively confront it. However, Rook encourages him here to begin the process by creating an agreement with Spite in the short-term. Process your trauma by breaking it down and taking it one step at a time. After this section in the game, the player can hear Lucanis converse with his friends about trying to work with Spite; about how the spirit is learning to understand the physical world, and they are no longer fighting. Again, we see that ignoring his emotions was hurting both Lucanis himself and other people, and that by moving forward, no matter how slowly, he can regain control of his life and build a new one alongside Spite, accepting the new circumstance.

When he confronts Illario for what he did and, incidentally, control over the Crows, he does not kill him. He never loses control and he and Spite work together to resist the blood magic that Illario attempts to use on them. Working through his problems with the support of his team allows Lucanis to preserve what he values-- his family, the Crows-- instead of pursuing an endless and ultimately pointless crusade of death in an attempt to avoid his problems. He makes the Crows stronger and heals himself through confronting and accepting his emotions.

PART III: I WILL GO AND SEEK ATONEMENT

Hey it's Solas! Remember how this game used to be called Dreadwolf? That was probably because he's the thematic anchor of the narrative. So, here we go. (This section is going to discuss the 'good ending' for Solas, because I don't think the others really feed into this theme much.)

Solas is the instigator of the conflict in Veilguard, and he may be an antagonistic force throughout the story, depending on how Rook chooses to deal with him. This game gives confirmation that Solas is a spirit, and so the generally established rules apply: he acts as you expect him to act, he is what you expect him to be, so the player is likely to have wildly variable experiences with him.

Throughout the game the player can encounter sections which depict his greatest regrets in his life so far; taking physical form, creating the weapon that severed the Titans' dreams, incidentally creating the Blight, accidentally sending Mythal to her death, and accidentally creating the Veil (dang, nothing goes right for this guy lol). This series of decisions led, in Solas' time, to monumental harm for countless people, and it is what has led him to his current course. He cannot stop because he is utterly trapped in his regret; these moments, though degraded, surrounded him within the Lighthouse while he planned for a decade. The Caretaker tells you that his regrets are so vicious that they are the teeth with which Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain are tearing into the Crossroads. Solas is destroying something beautiful he helped build because he is unable to let go of the past.

Although you, dear reader, may have your own opinion of him, Solas is undeniably compassionate. In DAI, he will give you massive amounts of approval for simply helping out villagers and performing menial tasks that serve no greater purpose than to alleviate suffering. The amount of suffering he (mostly) unintentionally caused could do nothing but horrify and pain him. His regret is oceanic. If you decide to persuade him to your side at the end of the game, one of the reasons he cites for continuing down his destructive path is because it would dishonor those he has wronged if he were to abandon his work. He is sunk cost fallacy-ing himself into mass murder, basically.

Part of the reason that he is doing this is because, like with Lucanis' issues, the emotion, the weight of the repeated failure is almost too big to effectively reckon with. But Rook can help him do it. Throughout the game Solas watches through his avatar in the Lighthouse; he sees Rook build their team, sees them solve the problems of the people around them and find strength in unity, and so when they appear in Minrathous he does actually believe that they can solve the problem that he cannot. He is deceiving Rook when he gives them the dagger, true, but this is his most valuable asset in the fight; if he did not believe in their success, it would be extremely foolish to give it to them and to commit himself to the comparatively lesser evil of Lusacan. So, Rook has effectively proven the Power of Friendship, as it were, through their actions in Veilguard.

To achieve the 'good end' for Solas, you need to have finished Regrets of the Dreadwolf and successfully confronted the fragment of Mythal that lives in the Crossroads. She will be impressed by your work in proportion to the amount of things in the game you've finished, so you must have bonded with your companions and you must have freed the Crossroads from the ravages of Solas' regrets. He helped make the mess, but other people can help him fix it, which is essentially the point that Mythal makes to him at the end; that he's not literally solely responsible for actually every bad thing that's ever happened.

You also have to tell the Inquisitor to attempt to reach him, which will lead to them saying something about forgiving his past actions if he stops trying to destroy the Veil presently (I assume the dialogue is similar in the friendship route; I have a Solas-romancing Inquisitor and that's basically what she said. I felt that part was general enough it probably carried over). All of these people and various pieces of Solas' past and present are here to break down the gigantic wall of regret that's preventing him from doing the right thing in this moment. All of his arguments for why he must keep going are refuted by these people he cared for, and to whom his regrets are attached.

Through Rook's actions they have demonstrated their ability to solve seemingly overwhelming problems. You can help Harding tame the anger of the Titans, you can help Lucanis confront his trauma, and you can help Solas finally see past his regret and be the hero he has always wanted to be. This is obviously not the only route the player can take through the game, but if they do, they help create a narrative that repeatedly deals with deconstructing and resolving overwhelming emotion. (Dear readers, remind me to make a post about Bioware games and participatory storytelling.) The story examines how intense emotion, ignored or denied, hurts oneself and others, and presents several solutions which all begin with asking for help. There is strength in unity, in compassion and togetherness, and if you cannot see the way forward alone, you will find it with other people.

WhEw okay if you actually finished reading that give yourself a high five and take a lollipop from the basket on your way out the door

on any other platform I think I would have hit a word limit of some kind, so thanks tumblr

edits incoming? very tired rn. Think I had some other point to make about Solas that I forgot maybe. I also think I could've added some of the other companions to this (Taash and Bellara were top candidates) but imo these two are the strongest for this particular theme. And it was already so long lol

okay I sleep soon. you can lmk what you think if you want? don't be a dick tho, I hope that goes without saying lmao

[chubphoe-linkclick]

Hey so S2E9 'Three Stroires' was fucking bonkers

LETS TALK ABOUT IT

The episode is DENSE AS ALL HELL with things to talk about, the three main things being

The titles

The art style and style of storytelling

The dialogue (or lack thereof)

Lets speedrun some analysis notes of our three favourite members of the worst found family ever!!

Storytelling Styles

All three stories are emotionally driven and told in dramatic styles without realism, though all for differing reasons.

QJ mimics the over-the-top Shakespearean reminiscent of his wife, believing himself to be the main character of a tragedy. Though this style of story telling is obviously campy and corny, it's also presented in a way where it's not immediately clear to the viewers that this isn't actually real -- it's a fabrication of the canon within the canon as a reflection of QJ's delusions.

LTC mimics QJ, however, his disposition leads to him seeing everything as a Greek Comedy as opposed to perma-victim QJ's Greek Tragedy. It also reflects LTC ultimately leaning into and revelling in killing other people as part of his hunter ethos and evolution. LTC's style does not need to be realistic because LTC isn't looking for meaning in his story, but for an experience that's enjoyable and satisfying.

QJ and LTC's style complement each other with both being able to come together to tell a more cohesive narrative overall, although each does so by focusing on themselves more than anyone else.

LTX is a silent cartoon telling of her life story, quite literally the story that's gone untold, bar the words of the gossiping crows (people with frivolous and passing interest in her life writing their own stories about the events she goes through). Her story telling style is a reflection of her mindset and being trapped cognitively as a child for all time, and is further indication that her personhood wasn't allowed to independently grow since becoming an orphan.

LTX's story is outside of QJ and LTC's narrative because she cannot speak, and thus her story does not matter. No dramatisation of reality to paint a certain picture is needed, nor is her story seen or understood in either of theirs. Her story is insular and disconnected from theirs because her personhood is disconnected from theirs.

LTX's story is told through the lens of LTC and LX's worldview: that the world is made up of beasts and hunters. There is only ever one human character (likely LX himself rather than QJ, based on how visually loyal everyone else's designs are) while LTX watches LTC straddle the line between animal (his nature) and human (his will).

Story Titles

QJ's part being called the "Inevitable Tragedy" is a reference to how he is the creator of his own misfortune as it was never based in reality but his own unchecked paranoia.

LTC's part is called the Fortuitous Comedy is because it was fortuitous for QJ to find out about the twins' powers before anyone else via Tianchen's confession and subsequent laughter. It could also be due to LTC reaching his perceived hunter-status by the fortuitous case of Deng being Liu Min's first requested kill (for the same reason LTC hates Deng, no less).

LTX's title being the "Sibling's Fairy Tale" is rather self explanatory, much like the character herself if you took the damn time to talk to her. It's childish, stuck in the past (trauma), focused on her brother and the other light of her life: their late-mother. Another piece of insight that I remembered hearing is that fairy tales don't always have happy endings, but they always have a moral to learn from. In this sense, Xixi's story is thematically the most important because no character has put that moral into practice (confronting the worst aspects of those you love, refusing to look away from the secrets they hide while you stay in a peaceful dream with their softness).

Additional Notes

QJ caring for the twins in Part II is a reflection of LTC being gaslit about reality (reinforced by QJ's fatherly love being absent in LTX's story), as well as a reflection of his sense of self and human autonomy only beginning and flourishing due to the circumstances QJ provided

LTX's story suggests that most of the time she spends with LTC involves her napping in some form, or that most of her time in general was slept away as if she was trapped in some strange dream.

The only betrayal even hinted at is LTC's betrayal of LTX's morality, a twist that literally shatters LTX's childlike world and forces her hurdling into reality. This is the only betrayal because the twins are the only two who have trust in one another among the three.

Someone else made a point about how even when the foxboy picks up the bow and arrow, he remains a fox. In LTX's eyes, her brother can act as a hunter but he's still a beast and that's not a bad thing.

The fact that most people are 'beasts' and there's only one human in all of LTX's worldview really is some solid symbolism and messaging, especially considering LTX is socially classified as an undesirable a la her disabilities. It's peak reclamation and pride in Oneself.

[s-ublimewrites]

family pulled from the flood (melissa schemmenti x f!reader)

synopsis: melissa finally feels okay confronting that part of herself. as always, you're right there

words: ~1.5k

warnings: swearing, struggles with sexuality, alcohol, happy ending tho dw not unleashing full whump

note: as the resident gay friend, i've received the 'how did you know you like girls?' text so many times in my life. this is an homage to that - because i love it every damn time<3 title from the end of love by florence + the machine

Saturday nights, for you, are generally spent in a sea of your students' paperwork with a glass of whiskey in hand and an embarrassing amount of Wife Swap playing on the television. Tonight is no exception.

It's cold outside and freezing rain slaps against your window, making you shiver despite the warmth of your bedroom.

You're just about to take that first sip of amber liquid, eager to let the warmth settle you from the inside out, when a loud bang bang bang sounds from your front door. You take a few seconds to extract yourself from the vast expanse of Of Mice and Men analyses, and the knocking turns into frantic doorbell-ringing.

"I'm com- oh ow, fucking Christ," you swear, catching your ankle on the coffee table in your rush to stop your visitor from knocking your door down. "Coming! Be right there, hang on!"

You yank the door open, prepared to chew out your stupid fucking neighbor Gene for bothering you at 10 o'clock at night over parking, like, half an inch too close to his precious 2003 Ford Taurus.

The door swings open, though, and you're met with a shivering, soaked-to-the-bone redhead.

"Melissa?! The fuck are you doing here? Christ, woman!" You seize her by her leather jacket's soggy sleeve and yank her inside your apartment.

"Y'know," she shrugs, dripping icy water onto your hardwoods while she kicks her boots off, "was in the neighborhood."

You roll your eyes.

"Okay, you can tell me the truth after you've escaped hypothermia. Coulda shot me a text instead of freezing your ass off out there," you admonish.

You lead Melissa to your room, deposit her on your bed, and make a mental note to apologize to your students for the water-stained papers you'll have to return on Monday. Melissa picks at the skin around her thumbs while you root through your broad selection of sweatshirts.

"Didn't really plan on comin'," she says quietly, probably the quietest you've ever heard her. "Went for a drive to clear my head, and, well... Then I was in your driveway."

When you obtain a sweatshirt and turn to look at her, she's looking at her lap. "What could have been bad enough to force you outta the house in this weather?"

Green eyes flick up to meet yours and she opens her mouth like she's going to answer, but then she points at the well-loved Flyers hoodie in your hands. "That for me?"

You decide to let it go for now and relinquish the sweatshirt with a nod. For good measure, you snag the whiskey glass off of your bedside table and press it into her free hand. "This, too."

Melissa's mouth quirks into a half smile. "Knew I ended up in the right place. Thanks, hon."

The nickname makes you warmer than the liquor ever could have.

You give her some privacy to change and use the opportunity to pour yourself (another) glass of whiskey. You then plant yourself on the sofa, knee bouncing anxiously.

Melissa is clearly struggling with something, something big. Something that really matters to her. And you're friends - friends go to one another with problems, right? Something about it nags at you, though. It feels bigger - like Melissa doesn't just want any friend; like she sought you out specifically. When was the last time you ever 'just ended up' in someone's driveway?

More importantly: when was the last time Melissa had an important problem and sought out anyone who wasn't Barb?

You don't have time to ponder that. Melissa emerges from your bedroom decked in black and orange, feet bare, glass in hand. Her damp hair is pulled back and her eyes are soft as she joins you on the sofa and tucks her feet up underneath her. When you pull the throw from the back of your couch and toss it at her, she ensures you both have equal halves draped over your laps.

Now that she's warm and settled, there's no avoiding the matter at hand.

"Melissa?" you keep your voice soft. You shift to face her and your knee nudges hers under the blanket, and she doesn't move away. In fact, she barely notices you at all. Her eyes are distant, her head propped up by her unoccupied hand, her teeth worrying at her lower lip.

"Mel," you try again, and this time she jerks her head toward you as if she'd forgotten you were there. "Mel, are you okay?"

"Yeah," she says too quickly, nodding, before pausing. "No. Kinda? I dunno, I just-"

Melissa Schemmenti exists in such a permanent state of bravado in your mind that it never occurred to you that it could be false. Your heart clenches and you fight the urge to take her face in your hands and remind her that she's perfect. Instead, you let the silence hang between you, giving her space to continue.

Melissa looks at you properly for the first time all night. Her voice wavers when she speaks. "How did you know that you're into girls?"

Oh. You don't know what you expected, but it wasn't that. You didn't allow yourself to hope it could be that.

"I was young," you start. "Middle school. I cried so hard that I threw up when my best friend started dating this kid in the grade above us. I wondered why I wasn't enough for her. Then I realized that maybe I had a crush on her. And I'd never been more terrified."

"What did you do?"

You snort. "Freaked out for another four years until my next best friend kissed me after junior prom."

She's quiet again. You've decided that Melissa's loudness is your favorite thing about her.

You swallow hard. "Are you... asking for a friend?"

Melissa gazes back at you, eyes watery and voice raw. "I'm askin' for me."

"Okay," you say, and she nods, and neither of you speak again for a little while.

You've gotten questions like hers before, from others. You usually know what to tell them, how to guide them through it, but this is Melissa. Her trust, so fragile, is cradled in your hands and you're terrified of making the wrong move, of cracking its thin shell.

"Tell me what you're feeling." You're asking for more trust and you know it. You hope your sincerity is evident enough that Melissa doesn't flee from the conversation altogether.

Melissa thinks for a moment, and you're patient.

"I feel so fuckin' stupid, Y/N," she admits, and the tears in her eyes spill over. You feel your own eyes fill at the sight. "Who makes it to my age and doesn't fuckin' know who they're into?"

When you scooch closer, she lets you. You both sit criss-crossed, facing one another, and your legs press up against hers.

"You are not stupid, Melissa," you say earnestly.

She rolls her eyes, and when her hand comes up to swipe angrily at her tears, you intercept it and weave your fingers into hers.

"You're not," you repeat. "Mel, something is telling me you didn't have an awful lot of people encouraging you to explore your sexuality throughout your life. It's okay that it's only happening now."

Melissa doesn't reply. Her eyes rest on your joined hands, on your thumb that traces light arcs over hers. But she's listening, so you continue.

"I'm really proud of you, Melissa," you tell her, and that makes her head snap up so she can meet your gaze.

"What? Why?"

"It's hard telling people at first," you explain, "and the first one is the biggest hurdle. But you did it, and I'm proud of you."

She swallows. "I feel like I can tell you anything and you're gonna make me feel better about it."

You squeeze her hand. "You can always tell me anything, Mel. What else do you need from me? How else can I help you?"

"Just... tell me it's gonna be okay. Tell me how super fun being gay is and that during pride we're gonna get super drunk and slash a cop car's tires or somethin'."

You grin. "Well, duh. We can also do that on alternating Tuesdays if you really want to."

Melissa finally laughs and it sets your heart alight. "Thanks, hon."

"It is going to be okay, Melissa. Just trust me on that one."

"I do," she says easily, "I trust you with stuff I haven't trusted anyone with in a long time."

"Like your family's sauce recipe?"

"Not in writing, but yes," Melissa confirms. "But with the big stuff, too. Life stuff."

You grin. "It's an honor and a privilege, Melissa Schemmenti."

There's this look in her eye, one you can't quite place. She sets her glass down on the coffee table and steals your glass to repeat the action.

Melissa all but crawls into your lap to hug you, and you happily let her. She relaxes most of her weight against you, forehead pressed against your shoulder. You dont mention it when you feel the collar of your shirt grow damp, you just let her sniffle against your t-shirt and smooth your hands over her back.

You both know there will have to be more to this conversation, but that can wait. For now, this is more than enough.

[la-pheacienne]

It has been said before so many times but I'll say it again. Rhaegar was one of the most, if not THE most important role model in Dany's life, even, especially, beyond his death. She never met Rhaegar, yes, but it is his legacy that is guiding her both consciously and subconsciously throughout her entire journey, from the very beginning, standing alongside her father's shady legacy that she prefers to ignore than to confront because of fear of what it may entail for her and her cause. GRRM put THREE Targs ahead of Dany, each of them with a VERY heavy baggage. Aerys and Viserys were despicable people and she could have easily, EASILY delved into that sense of blind entitement and authoritarianism that they most certainly inspired. But alongside them, she chooses to hold onto Rhaegar's memory or legacy or imaginary or whatever the hell you want to call it, and she chooses to lead with that. She literally identifies herself with him, it's her face she sees inside his helmet. She desperately holds onto him, the only family member whose legacy is even remotely positive, based on the opinions of multiple different sources. What Dany wants the most is her family back, her home back. She is an orphan, she is alone, she has nothing left but her name and the dream of who that brother was and what she could be in his place, where she could succeed where he failed, in the same way Jon could succeed where Ned failed (the parallels are so strong). To have this taken away from her as well, to have Rhaegar's legacy smeared in the way the fandom does, is not only a direct attack to Dany but also extremely boring and repetitive, in all its fake "deconstructive"/"subversive" glory. Oh so you mean that her entire family were just monsters, one was an abusive loser, the other a psychopath and the third one, the only one that is presented as good, turns out to have been a machiavellian pedophile forcefully impregnating women for scientific experiments. So, Robert's initial thesis as presented in the very first book is not only confirmed but completed with new even more hideous information. And you call that subversive.

Just, no. What happened to nuance, I wonder? What happened to "oh this character had strong virtues but also some fatal flaws that led to his downfall, among other external factors"? You call the "Rhaegar forcefully impregnating unwilling women in order to use them and their babies as pawns to an imaginary war" a nuanced and subversive take in the context of asoiaf of all possible media? Really? Be for real.

Not even delving into the fact that Rhaegar being the only character of his generation actively interested in the prophecy and not in purely personal political gain is actually one of his main redeeming character traits, if not the most redeeming one and literally sets the thematical tone for the entire book series because that's PhD level for most people here.

[evergreenalice]

I'll never get over the fucking tunnel of love scene, it's just the best fucking scene I love it so much

first of all, it follows the objectively amazing scene between Homura and Sayaka

the song "Dream World" begins to play as the Clara Dolls chant "fort, da, fort, da" in the background, the meaning of this I'm too lazy to explain, and if you don't know why the words "fort" and "da" are important to Rebellion, just look it up, there are better explanations than I can give. What's important is that these words relate to Homura and Madoka, the Clara Dolls are an extension of Homura, and thus Homura is presumably thinking about Madoka

as we see Sayaka's cape flying away from their confrontation, Homura begins a monologue

we see Clara Dolls dancing on a pink spool, representative of Madoka (if you don't know why, once again, I request that you look up "fort da Madoka") so once more an indication of where Homura's thoughts currently are

we see two swans, generally a symbol of love (fun fact, because of this one scene the moment I see swans I instantly think of Madoka Magica)

we see Homura standing on the front of of the boat, one of her familiars standing in the boat, not doing anything notable, I bring this up to come back to it later, also it's just a good shot

the world shifts as Homura moves through it, remember, this is essentially her dream, the things that appear are from Homura's mind

we see a paper Kyoko standing on an arch asking us if we're enjoying the movie (thank you for asking Kyoko :) Indeed I am)

a tunnel rises from the ocean

Kyoko says this, displaying essentially the ideal life for Kyoko, her relationship with Mami is never soured, and they're still friends, and they're just doing good stuff, none of the darkness that exists in reality

we see Homura's annoyed, perhaps somewhat conflicted even, face

we enter the tunnel, and it's clearly meant to be a tunnel of love, remember, the things in this world are created from her thoughts, there is a reason for a tunnel of love being here and it has to do with Homura's thoughts, EVERYTHING in this tunnel is from Homura's mind, it existing, everything in it, and where it leads, are from HER thoughts, keep that fact in mind

Mami just outright states that everything is ideal

beautiful shot, nothing else to say

Sayaka outright asks if this is so bad. She has a very goofy face because Homura is annoyed with her, I love this detail "YOU'RE TOO LATE SAYAKA I'VE ALREADY DEPICTED YOU AS THE SOYJACK!"

Homura accidentally criticizing herself, however, once again, EVERYTHING HERE IS HOMURA, this is an argument with herself, she's not disagreeing with paper Sayaka, paper Mami, and paper Kyoko, because they don't exist, they're HER, everything they say are HER thoughts, SHE thinks that this is the ideal world, deep down she wants to stay here, and she hates herself for it, viewing it as weakness.

we cut to Homura kneeling beneath goddess Madoka, Homura views Madoka as a goddess, not just in a descriptive sense, but a prescriptive one. In her eyes Madoka is a perfect being deserving of reverence, her love for Madoka is yes, romantic, but also has undeniably religious elements to it

Homura reaching up towards the statue of goddess Madoka as she talks about her sacrifice, it's just, VERY religious, she's over here like "Madoka died for your despair, accept her into your heart as your lord and savior" and it's like, Homura, this is a really unhealthy way to view your crush

this flashes on screen "who is dreaming?" the reason these runes pop on screen at this point is because it's important to this scene specifically, Homura is essentially denouncing whoever is guilty of being, for lack of a better word, a sinner, so these runes prompt the question of who the "sinner" is, and of course, it is Homura

we cut to a boat on fire

we see little paper cutouts of people drowning, presumably the people who should be being saved right now but aren't

Homura caresses Madoka's legs very heterosexually, I will come back to this later

the Clara Dolls throw tomatoes at the statue and Homura while saying "god is dead" in German, this most obviously signifies the blasphemy of the sinner who created this world (Homura) it's also a Nietzsche quote (Nietzsche and Rebellion is a whole nother conversation though)

it's also worth pointing out that the Clara Dolls's antagonism towards Homura is likely symbolic of bullying, which considering the way Moemura acts, is almost definitely something she went through

remember that everything here is from Homura's mind, that tunnel of love didn't even exist a moment ago, it was created by Homura's mind, that includes where it led, Homura's mind created a tunnel of love while thinking about Madoka that led her to Madoka

Madoka jumps down and lands on Homura, she doesn't emote much, but we know for a fact that this caused A LOT of emotions in her. Remember that familiar I pointed out that wasn't doing much? Well once again, everything in here is part of Homura, representing a part of her mind

as Madoka sits up, we see the familiar excitedly dancing with sparklers, because well, gay

as I said I wanted to come back to the statue's legs later, this is why. Where Homura touched it is marked in inky black. Her devotion to Madoka, her love for her, represented by the caressing of her legs, has only dirtied the statue. She views her love as a dirtying force. And for a lesbian that canonically went to Catholic school, views herself as a demon, and her crush as a pure perfect goddess, that certainly has implications, internalized homophobia is only one possible reading of this scene, but it's the one I choose to go with.

that's the end, I hope you enjoyed!

[bonefall]

So, your Clear Sky post is absolutely horrifying, but it was very needed, so thank you. What are your general thoughts on tackling his abuse for the AU? Like you've said, pretending he's a good guy is not the way to go, but are you planning on toning down *some* of the situations, just to give some of the cats a break? Clear Sky is a very realistic depiction of abusers, but that seems to come across even without victim number 25, yknow? I'm very curious about how you'd like to go about this.

My most recent big change was bringing Slash back into the fold, because I realized that it was actually a disservice to not address where DOTC's themes dip into Colonialism. It's a hard topic, and I'm still trying to work out the details, but I realized it was important.

With how BB!DOTC is such a MASSIVE overhaul, to properly address abuse and the ways it impacts you, ableism and its violence, and xenophobia broadly, a huge reworking of Slash belonged here too. He's one of the greatest examples of how badly WC demonizes non-Clanborn cats. I shouldn't dance around it.

That's what I need to do with Skystar.

MANY of his victims have happier endings than canon, though. Bumble is one of the most famous, bumped up into a major character and directly responsible for the formation of ThunderClan. Bright Storm is taking most of Gray Wing's roles. Birch and Alder are getting examined, with either a father who wants his kids back or Milkweed as the mate of Misty.

A lot of people will die because of him, even more will be hurt, but I see BB!DOTC as a story about victims and survivors.

Others might grab POVs here and there, but as a response to canon which I feel is Clear Sky's story told in many parts, I center this rewrite around Thunder Storm. The path of kindness he marches down, with love and with anger, and the people he helps.

So BB!Star Flower...

Previously I was playing her as ENTIRELY just manipulating Clear Sky. She was loyal to One Eye and trying to get at Skystar to bleed him dry for 8 lives to sacrifice; but connected to Thunderstar over recognizing him as a victim who deserves her idea of justice. So, she offers Thunderstar the final kill, so her father will be grateful to him and he'll get power AND the death of his abuser.

(When Thunderstar looks upon Skystar, pathetic and neutralized down to one life, he thinks about the collateral damage that will descend upon the forest if he accepts the deal. He decides that he has found the line between Justice and Justification. Of course he wants the power to make his enemies cower, protect his people, and eliminate Clear Sky so he never threatens them again; that's not the problem.

He can still do these things. He wouldn't NEED the power of a war god to do so.

But if One Eye returns, he will be endlessly hungry, ruthlessly dedicated to revenge, and set out to devour the whole forest. Everything would get worse, and even more people he loves would die. It's where his desire to destroy a monster would lead to him BECOMING one.)

Even on its face, it was previously missing an element. There's a step between "Starf decides to bring One Eye back" and "Starf offers Thunderstar the final kill" that was bare. This is the piece that was missing-- That she, herself, is trying to reach out to the only person who's ever really understood her.

But more importantly... I do feel this topic belongs here, in BB!DOTC. Abuse is a MAJOR theme. SKYSTAR is a monster already. He's harmed two wives in BB (Bright Storm and Falling Cry) and played toxic games with all three kits (Thunder Storm, Pale Sky, Tiger Sky).

And I'd avoid Star Flower being abused... why? Because it's uncomfortable to confront the pattern that Clear Sky displays? That in-canon, he tries to cut all his victims into the same ideal shape, from Storm to Thunder to Star Flower? ...it should be uncomfortable. Everything that I described in Clear Sky Is A Monster is rooted in the same desire for control, power, and punishment most abusive people share, he just happens to be a severe example.

Yes. That includes how he treats his child and romantic partners. The parallels that are drawn between Starf and Thunder are there because he wants power in the form of obedience. Starf replaces the son as a narrative award for his "growth" of not killing random people anymore for a while.

A cookie cutter is an effective tool because IT ONLY MAKES ONE SHAPE.

You know what's more uncomfortable? Reading canon!DOTC and seeing someone who hurt you reflected almost perfectly in the character the writers think did nothing wrong. Because of "good intentions" that were not there.

I will say though, just to be clear; I don't see a purpose in being more than PG-13 about serious topics for this project. I promise none of my intentions have changed. Nothing will be more graphic or gorey than canon WC-- just more intentional.

I'm keeping the sacrifice because it's dope. No one is taking this from me. Girl Moment: Killed her awful husband 8 times to count as 8 sacrifices and offered the last life to her buddy as a show of good will. How else do you make friends outside of high school

But I know now that Star Flower NEEDS to keep the canon fact she has very little agency, UNTIL that moment she snaps.

She's sacrificing one abuser to try and bring back a bigger, badder one, because in spite of everything, her father One Eye always made her feel safe. Even though he promised her off to Skystar, and expected her to be willing to die for him. She's followed every command, every order, past the death of his mortal vessel.

The first, and only, selfish choice she's ever made was in reaching out to Thunderstar to offer him the power of her father.

Thunderstar's Justice is a story about a Thunder Storm at the pinnacle of his arc, how the survivors of his Clan are settling into the new normal after the carnage of The First Battle, how Skystar's arrogance brings a violent god to the Forest... and the connection Thunderstar makes with the daughter of a monster.

[pokeberry5]

Did Tim “kill” King Snake and does Bruce know?

In Tim’s first solo min, he goes to Paris to learn martial arts and get that “edge” he thinks he needs to properly assume his role as Robin. He ends up on the tail of British Lord, Hong Kong-based heroine kingpin, leader of the Ghost Dragon gang, Sir Edmund Dorrance AKA King Snake (who is blind, which will be important later). Tim’s only companions on this world tour are Lady Shiva, who wants to defeat Dorrance to prove herself stronger, and ex-DEA agent Clyde Rawlins, who wants revenge against Dorrance for Dorrance’s reprisal killing of his family.

Robin I #4 --  the dream team, I love them

The trio catch up to Dorrance in Hong Kong, where he’s waiting for them in what seems to be the top suite of his skyscraper, 50 stories up.

In this final confrontation with Dorrance, Tim takes full advantage of a crucial moment of distraction to kick Dorrance out of the window. Dorrance ends up clinging to a ledge, hanging on for dear life.

Shiva then appears to order Tim to kill Dorrance, presumably by kicking him off the ledge. (It becomes clear then that this is how Shiva intends to prove herself stronger than Dorrance: she trained Tim and therefore Tim is her weapon and an extension of herself. If Tim defeats Snake, she defeats him by proxy).

Tim refuses and walks away. All we see is him listen  as Dorrance falls to what Tim explicitly assumes is his death, 50 stories down.

Robin I #5

So, while Tim isn't directly responsible for Dorrance's death, he was the one to put him in that position and then left him there to fall.

It’s unclear how Tim conceives of his actions here and how we are supposed to interpret them, especially in light of Tim’s refusal to kill in earlier chapters in this arc (and after).

Robin I #2

Robin I #4 -- I love Shiva

He stopped Rawlins from shooting and killing gang members, but then points to the danger Rawlins might have put them in by accidentally shooting crates containing plague (please read this arc it’s really fun despite suffering from uh. severe written in the 90s syndrome) and then explicitly restates his vow not to kill.

AND THEN, the plot thickens!!!

Dorrance did not actually fall to his death; he caught himself on a ledge below, where he believes Tim came down to taunt him. He came away from his fall with a fear of Tim and an obsession with killing him to purge himself of that fear. (anyway Sir Edmund Dorrance walked so Ra’s could run)

Batman (1940) #468

Batman (1940) #469

Dorrance moves to Gotham with the Ghost Dragons and takes over Chinatown (which. Who decided to put, a British lord, what boils down to an allegory of British colonialism in Hong Kong as the head of Chinatown? I have questions – anyway crimelord Lynx ftw)

In the course of his pursuit of Robin, it is revealed that Bruce believes “it was Lady Shiva that caused Dorrance to plunge to his death”—that Tim told him this.

Batman (1940) #469

This is clarified a bit more later, when Bruce confronts Dorrance.

#469

Dorrance explicitly accuses Tim of murder. He outlines the incident leading up to his fall—that Tim tricked him and attacked him from behind (he did, we saw this), that Dorrance was left dangling, and that Tim then caused him to fall.

Bruce refutes this accusation by claiming that it “wasn’t Robin who left you for dead. … Robin spared you. It was Lady Shiva who threw you to your death.”

From this, we can assume that in the moments after Tim refused Shiva and walked away, Shiva threw Dorrance down, which he didn’t realize because, as Bruce claims, he is blind and was likely traumatized by the incident. We can’t know this for sure, however—that Shiva threw him down—for exactly those reasons. Bruce is working off what Tim apparently told him, but we—and Tim—did not see this happen.

Bruce’s explanation of what actually happened also calls into question what exactly Tim told him about what happened.

It’s unclear what exactly he is refuting by: “It wasn’t Robin who left you for dead.” Does he not count Tim leaving Dorrance hanging as “leaving him for dead” or is the implication that Bruce thinks Shiva was the one who both threw Dorrance out the window and off the ledge? We never actually see what Tim told Bruce.

This leaves us with some possibilities:

that what Tim did by leaving Dorrance to dangle, by leaving him to Shiva, does not count against Batman’s no-killing rule.

Perhaps that Bruce does not feel that he could have expected or wanted Tim to step between Shiva and her target, Dorrance

that Bruce does not actually know what really happened—that Tim kicked Dorrance out the window, which in turn implies that either Tim may have stretched the truth or Bruce misinterpreted (purposefully?) what Tim told him

These all seem inconsistent, however, with incidents further down the line, with Cluemaster for example, and then when Tim rebukes Azbats for leaving Abattoir to die. A core tenet of Tim’s characterization is his sometimes frustrated but dedicated adherence to the no-kill rule (im beating anyone who cites the league bases at me away with a stick). So I don’t know what to do with this. Maybe it’s just comic inconsistency. Chuck Dixon, what are you doing?

If anyone has any thoughts about how to reconcile all this!! Please grant me peace

ADDENDA

i.e. stuff that I can’t possibly expect to be addressed in comics, but that I think about anyway

Related to this arc—a point is made a few issues later that Tim at this time doesn’t really have anyone to confide in. He can't really talk to Batman, isn’t close to Dick at this point, and while he is willing to work with Alfred and ask for help with Bat-related things, they’re not yet emotionally close. This isolation is poignantly demonstrated by him confessing his troubles to his still-comatose father.

Robin II #2

WHOM then would he have talked to about all that happened on his little “world tour”? No one? Besides whatever happened with Dorrance and brutal training and isolation, he also had to deal with the fact that Clyde Rawlins—whom he presumably developed some sort of camaraderie with (it’s tim ;-; he forms connections) was killed by Dorrance while working this mission with him.

We know that he had no one to talk to about all that. Did Tim linger on Rawlins????? On the fact that Shiva called him her weapon?? My boy is 13 ;-;

I also love that the whole buildup to Tim’s debut as Robin is Bruce agonizing about whether he should allow another boy to assume the position that cost him his son, and is then followed by plenty of moments after of Batman being overprotective.

Batman (1940) #468

And yet, when Tim is like “I need an edge to be Robin” presumably Bruce?? although this is never explicit connects him with a martial artist in Paris and sends him off on his own. It’s also possible that Tim is the one who comes up with this given that he agonizes a bit over whether he’s doing right by choosing his own path

Robin I #1

Either way, Tim goes to Paris Alone and essentially Unsupervised.

This lack of supervision is further emphasized by the fact that he goes to hunt down a king pin all the way to Hong Kong with Lady fucking Shiva and an ex DEA agent and no other back up. And Bruce presumably doesn’t find out until Tim runs into the hitman Henri Ducard in Hong Kong, who is apparently Batman’s acquaintance. (#5)

I have so many questions. I know that the actual reasoning is probably “oh we want to give this new character a little mini adventure arc on his own!!! To showcase how cool and independent the new robin is” but STILL

(also tim immediately getting himself a little team :’) I lub him)

[tex-now]

SHIHOSAKI AU LIGHTNING ROUND!!! As you can see, some ideas were more compelling than others....

Added an under the cut so tou don't have to scroll too long ,:3

Shiho is like. A hitchhiker? A traveler? She basically goes around the country to different places and she never stays for long. saki is the cute girl she meets at a diner in the middle of a city she's visiting! She was only planning on staying there for a little while, but for saki, she could always stay longer....

Eventually (I don't know how don't ask) saki decides to join shiho on her journey (and turns into her peaky peaky card) :3

Saki is a budding scientist who works for a morally dubious leaning bad laboratory. One day they bring in a new subject, this big furry monster beast thingy that's clawing at its enclosure in distress and aggression, and saki feels bad for the poor thing, it must be really scared...

The other scientists are huge jerks that end up assigning saki to dealing with it (btw every person that has taken care of it has been injured in some way), but it actually goes quite well! It was just stressed out and anxious and all it needed was a little kindness :3 it's still anxious, but not as aggressive which is great!

Saki keeps taking care of the bast until it finally starts calming down around her, and they become closer. For a bit saki basically treated it like a precious pet, but it didn't seem to appreciate that ...

In fact, Saki starts noticing strange things about the beast, like how it has specific tastes in things animals usually wouldn't worry about, or how it seems like it's actually understanding what saki was saying, how it seems almost... human with its behaviors a lot of the time.

Which leads to a confrontation. One day, Saki asks it if it's really a monster, if it's understood her this entire time, and it suddenly gets incredibly aggressive, growling at her, and looming over her threatening lying, trying to scare her off, possibly? But saki stands her ground and the monster backs off wit a very human sigh.

And then it shifts. It grows smaller and more humanoid until a (not exactly) perfect human is sitting in front of her. It explains herself to be shiho, a werecreature who was kidnapped by saki's laboratory. Saki is. Well. A number of things.

Embarassed that she treated a person with thoughts and emotions like a pet, extreme attraction to said person, shame of said attraction, and most importantly absolute fury that tye lab would do this.

So furious that she almost storms out of the enclosure to give those scientists a piece of her mind, until shiho stops her. It reasons that doing that won't help and will only make the situation worse, but saki is adamant that she at least tries to talk to them about it. Shiho complies, and the next day, Saki "calmly" asks about more information on shiho's specific species. Maybe they didn't know it was a werecreature, maybe this was a misunderstanding and shiho will be released!

It was not a misunderstanding. They knew she was a werecreature. They kidnapped her anyway to do research on her since her specific species has such little known information about her. Saki, well... saki snaps I think

She loves her job but it's exhausting and her coworkers are shitheads who underestimate her at every turn, she witnesses the less than caring treatment of the other creatures that reside here, and now she's finding put that they willingly kidnapped a sentient being for the sake of research? Get that shit outta here

Okay this is long enough so lets wrap this up. she basically consensually kidnaps shiho and skips town to save her, leaving behind her job.her apartment and anything age couldn't fit in her booking for when they left. She also ends up taking a few extra friends along for the ride wink wink (honami). At one point they kiss. As you can see the romance was not the most important part mb...

Introverted mermaid meets adventurous girl with a penchant for the unusual. Their first meeting was definitely an accident, shiho got caught by saki while she was sunbathing or just wanted to come up to the surface for a bit. Shiho was startled by saki's sudden greeting and went back into the water immediately (ad probably didn't come back out for a few days). But saki is anything but a quitter, so she keeps coming back and looking for shiho when she has the chance, while shiho keeps trying to avoid her.

But like. At one point she just ends up doing it to do it. Saki's not malicious in anyway. She just comes over there and talks to the water for a little before going back home. She's never brought anyone over to try and see her, she's never tried to take photos or evidence, hell at this point shiho is intrigues by the girl and wants to speak to her properly, so shiho truky has no reason to continue this thing they have going on.

But shiho is very stubborn, so she decides that she won't just come out and show herself that easily, but when saki finally catches her, she'll emerge and actually meet her formally. In the meantime, she offers saki a pretty shell bracelet, as a sign of amicability or something.

Eventually it turns into a little game between them. Saki tries to catch shiho and yet everytime, she just misses her. Sometimes shiho is feeling mischievous and let's her have a glimpse before diving into the water again. Saki probably thinks it's a lot of fun, if not a little frustrating because she wants to talk to her so badly.

And then one day it happens. Saki is late to her usual visit and shiho is sitting there sullenly waiting for her, embarassed of her dissapointment by saki's absence, why is she even waiting here anyway-?

Saki gently grabs her shoulders from behind. Shiho shrieks and almost dives back into the water out of pure panic, but saki's hand stop her, and she stays. They have their first formal meeting... what will happen next you say? Well that's for you to (maybe) find out ;3

Cam I say it can I say it. Goth girl x pastel sporty girl... omg.... poprocks shihosaki... (only one person will understand what I mean by that lmao).

Anyway saki and shiho are very much Girlfriends <3 shiho comes up to saki's desk with a basketball in one hand and a black rose in the other shyly asking her if she wants to go to the movies and saki then proceeds to tackle her to the ground and smother her with kisses. (Saki is still very much saki here yk)

Theyre so yuriful I want to draw them...

Composer wives <3 saki is a stay at home video game Composer (like 8 bit chiptune all that shit) while shiho is a Composer for a classical choir. They collaborate a lot on songs saki forces (bribes) shiho into collabing with her on, and composing is actually probably how they first met. Hmm...

Saki LOOOVES her amazing classical Composer wife and regularly shouts her out on her channel (shiho is incredibly flustered by this) but shiho will also never fail to (vaguely) mention her wife who helped her create the music.... saki is very hapoy by this :3

Saki also begs shiho to make samples for her all the time which shiho grumbles about but does anyway because she's a dy-

Anyway I love them they're so cute

That's all folks

[samsdawn]

AHSOKA EP 7 ANALYSIS

Okay so first off let's start with this scene. We saw last episode shin begin to question Baylans choices and notice and change in his behaviours and finally we see shin fully confronted with this. She is not simply questioning she is upset , frustrated. She has done everything for Baylan and yet it's still not enough. The realisation that whatever this power is Baylan seeks is more important than her life. Him referring to her ambition as ' parting lesson' puts the nail in the coffin of the fact he is abandoning her for his own gain. And the confusion and fear that clouds her face as she accepts this and STILL tries to follow orders to prove herself . ( Also Sabine being her ambition?!?!)

This scene felt extremely important to me because this is the moment we really see the emphasis of hati and skill following the moon and son . Baylan looks after Ahsoka knowing she is going towards shin , then looks the other way towards this unknown power. You see the questioning on his face. This is the pinnacle point of his character. To follow Shin, the character like his daughter ? Or follow power. And he chooses power over her. When he looks down we see him coming to terms knowing this choice may cause shins death

And then we have the moment Shin realises she has been abandoned by everyone , they are all in full retreat and baylan is not coming back for her . And it's so heartbreaking witnessing it sink in that no one needs her anymore. She's played a part.

Which leads onto ahsokas offer , you see the heartbreak settled on shins face and her questioning the offer. She's considering it , she wants to belong and be needed and the one person she had has left her for a power that's deemed more important than her

But how can she trust it ? When everyone has left her , how can she know Ahsoka won't betray her all the same.

I wonder if Sabine offered , someone who has now become a constant in her life , would she have not run away in fear of being betrayed once more.

Literally crying for shin