#is like. yeah. .its really sweet.. but theres. something still missing from that

[akaridream]

all the right buttons: part 2 GOKU (college AU goku x reader)

alright goku fuckers, come get y'all juice

and don't worry geta lovers, you'll get yours soon too

You stared at the coin in your hand, anxiously rubbing your thumb over it. The only way to discover your true feelings was to flip it. Heads for Goku, tails for Vegeta.

The coin sailed through the air. You captured it between your palms and flipped it onto the back of one hand. Eyes opening, you lifted your hand. Heads.

YOU: ummm i guess i felt like i had a slightly better connection with goku?

You climbed into bed and laid in the darkness, wiggling your toes impatiently between your bed sheets. Your stomach floated nervously within you, waiting for her response. What if your guess was wrong? Would you be disappointed if it was Vegeta? No, certainly not disappointed. But there would be at least a tinge of FOMO in your heart at the thought of missing out on Goku. He seemed so sweet and easy to get along with. But perhaps he was just a nice guy with everyone and you were nothing special to him. Whatever the case, you jolted when your phone finally buzzed with Bulma’s reply.

BULMA: as soon as you left, goku said you were cool and that you should come over again soon :) and he said you were really pretty An automatic smile spread across your face and you kicked your feet up with a delighted squeal.

YOU: omg i’ll come over right now if he wants haha

BULMA: easy tiger :) i gave him your number and told him to hit you up, so hopefully you’ll be hearing from him v soon

YOU: did you tell him anything I said about him? Did you put in a good word for me?

BULMA: I told him you’re super sweet and lots of fun to be around, but he was already kinda smitten and didnt need much encouragement. it was actually really cute

Your cheeks were starting to hurt from all the smiling. Then your phone buzzed again.

Unknown Number: hey, it’s goku! i got your number from bulma, i hope thats alright

You stomped your feet on the bed, pleasantly surprised that he was texting you already. This guy doesn’t play games!

YOU: omg hey! ofc thats okay! I know I can trust bulma not to give my number to creeps. I had a great time playing with you today!

GOKU: yeah me too! I’ll have to dig out some other games we can play together sometime

YOU: I’m absolutely down for another game sesh! Wish I still had all my old games, I’d bring some

GOKU: just bring yourself and I’m sure we can find something to play! theres actually an old tenkaichi tournament movie, we could try and find it somewhere and watch it

YOU: ive heard its actually a horrible movie! but that isn’t gonna stop me, i love making fun of bad movies

GOKU: haha cool! Vegeta and I always go to the gym friday afternoons, but I’m free after 5 or so. We could order some food and just hang out here

Wow, he really doesn’t beat around the bush! Straight to asking me to hang out already?

YOU: that sounds great! And will your roommates be joining us?

GOKU: they’ll probably be around. But i was kind of hoping it might just be you and me

YOU: i think i’d like that :) so it’s a date then?

GOKU: yeah, if that’s okay with you

YOU: definitely okay with me! I can bring some drinks if you want

GOKU: yeah sure! You like chinese takeout? Theres an awesome place just off campus I order from all the time, they give you sooo much food

YOU: yeah, that sounds great to me. I’m sure you need big portions, you’re a growing boy after all!

For the rest of the week, you texted Goku without the conversation coming to a natural end. As midday turned into Friday afternoon, an anxious, fluttery feeling flooded your stomach. What should you wear? What should you do with your hair? What about makeup? In the end, you opted for a pair of high-waisted jean shorts, a cute camisole with lace trim and an oversized cozy cardigan that kept falling off your shoulder. The peek of skin would be enticing, if he was interested in hooking up of course. And you certainly weren’t against that idea. Since the day you met him, you had been thinking about climbing all over him, especially right into his lap…

You put your hair up into a clip and dotted your cheeks and lips with a soft glow. After a touch of mascara, you admired yourself in your full length mirror. Scrubbed, shaved and smelling lightly of perfume, you felt confident in your natural beauty. Your heart danced in your chest when your phone buzzed with a text from Goku, saying to come over whenever you were ready. You grabbed the case of chilled vodka soda from your dorm fridge and headed across campus.

By the time you arrived at Bulma and Goku’s front door, your cheeks were aching from smiling so much. Your heart still twirling like a ballerina, you knocked and awaited your date’s appearance.

The door swung open, revealing Goku in a tight black tee and another pair of short shorts in bright orange. He grinned and adjusted his glasses on his nose.

“Hey! Good to see ya!” he said, giving you a brief but warm hug as you stepped over the threshold. Your arms snaked around his thin waist, pleasantly aware of having his hard body flush against yours.

“Good to see you again too, Goku! How was your workout?” you asked as he led you into the kitchen.

“Great! Vegeta hit a PR on bench today, so that was cool!”

You tilted your head as he took the case of vodka soda from you and put it in the fridge. “What’s a PR?”

He blinked. “Oh! Personal record. Sorry, I forgot you aren’t a gym rat like me,” he said, shyly scratching the back of his neck. “Oh, Bulma left this for us by the way.” Goku tapped a knuckle on a bottle of white wine with a fancy label.

“Oh my gosh, that looks expensive!” you said as you examined it. “But what a sweetheart she is! I’ll have to tell her thank you!”

Goku led you to the living room where the game console and old TV had been shoved to the corner and Bulma’s fancy flat screen once again dominated the space. A new coffee table sat in front of the couch as well.

“She’s been busting my balls all week about you,” he said with a shy chuckle as he plopped onto the couch.

“Oh yeah?” you asked in a teasing voice. “What about me?” A warm blush started to overtake Goku’s cheeks. He smiled and shrugged. “Just that she’s happy to see me take interest in someone, I guess. Apparently she thinks its about time!”

You sat on the couch and propped your arm over the back, turned to face Goku. “Has it been a while since you dated someone then?”

He nodded. “Yeah, since high school. I had a long term thing with this one girl but it didn’t end so great. She was a bit of a hot-head. But since her… I haven’t even been on a date. Just been trying to sort my own stuff out, you know?”

“Yeah, I get it. I’m not the most experienced with relationships either. Shit’s complicated,” you laughed.

Goku smiled. “Yeah, you’re telling me!” His phone buzzed. “Alright, dinner’s here! Be right back!” His eyes grew wide with excitement and he raced out the door before you could even reply. He came back just as quick and unloaded a surprising amount of food onto the coffee table.

“Are you sure you ordered enough?” you asked sarcastically.

Goku furrowed his brows and looked over the selection of takeout containers. “Well, I thought five entrees might be enough, but I’ll be happy to order more if you want!”

You laughed and opened a pair of chopsticks. “I was kidding! This looks like enough to feed my entire family back home!”

His frown quickly inverted and he grinned. “Oh, okay, good! Should we break out what you brought to drink or try Bulma’s fancy wine?”

“Let’s have the wine with the movie, I think,” you suggested, padding over to the fridge and grabbed a drink for each of you.

Per usual with Goku, conversation was steady and comfy. You chatted and laughed as you sat on the floor across the coffee table from each other, both of your cell phones sitting untouched. “Is this table new?” you asked.

Goku nodded as he scarfed down some lo mein. “Yeah, Bulma bought a new one because Vegeta and I kind of broke the last one.” You sputtered a laugh. “How on earth did you manage to break a coffee table?”

“Well, we were just kind of goofing around and Vegeta slipped and… Fell right through it! It was all glass, he complained about it being invisible all the time anyway. Bulma is convinced he did it on purpose because he hated it!”

You covered your mouth full of food and laughed heartily. “That is hilarious! But what the hell do you mean you were just goofing around?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know, just… Goofin’ off like guys do?”

“Sounds just like my brothers,” you said, shaking your head.

You finished your meal, with Goku eating the lion’s share of the food. You didn’t mind, he clearly required more calories than you did. As he was clearing away all the takeout containers, you watched him in the kitchen from behind. His wide shoulders and slutty waist made your head feel light. Or was it the vodka soda?

“You ready to bust out this bottle of wine?” he called over his shoulder.

Your eyes grazed over his silhouette, admiring his stellar ass in those tiny shorts. “Sure, let’s do it!”

Goku rummaged around in the kitchen drawers. “Crap, I have no idea where to find a corkscrew.”

You rose from your place on the living room floor to help him look. “Well I sure hope you at least know how to use one, because I sure don’t! I only ever buy the cheap wine with the screw top.”

Goku bumped into you, then placed a hand on your hip to navigate around you in the kitchen. You blushed at the contact.

“Bulma’s not here, is she?” you asked. “We could ask her if she knows where it is.”

“No, she said she was heading back to West City to see her parents this weekend. And Vegeta said he’d be out late tonight.”

Way at the back of a stuck drawer, you felt a spiral shape. You turned and twisted it until the drawer could move again, finally able to extract the object. You held it up with a bright smile.

“Ta-da!” you said.

“Hey, nice!” Goku said, giving you a high-five. He took the corkscrew and carefully opened the fancy bottle to pour you both a glass.

You returned to the living room with two stemless crystal glasses as Goku made a quick trip to his bedroom.

“The library had the Tenkaichi movie on DVD!” he called down the hall as he returned. You sat on the edge in the middle of the couch, watching him lean over to load the DVD into the player. Those damn shorts are giving me heart palpitations, you thought. His body is godly.

Cheeks growing warmer by the second, you slid your cardigan off one shoulder for some much-needed cool air. You caught Goku’s eyes taking you in as he turned around, peeking at him over the rim of your wine glass.

“How’s it taste?” Goku asked, his voice quiet and soft.

You raised the crystal and gave it a swirl before taking a sip. You closed your eyes and breathed through your nose as you swallowed the aromatic liquid, a trail of pleasant warmth growing in your chest.

“Expensive,” you said. You both laughed.

Goku grabbed the remote and sat on your right, his left arm automatically fanning over the back of the couch cushion. Once he started the movie, he exchanged the remote for his glass of wine, taking a sizable swig.

“Hm, it’s sweeter than I expected. The last time I tried wine, I felt like it sucked all the moisture out of my mouth,” Goku said.

You took another sip. “Yeah, this one is nice and mild. I could drink the whole bottle of this,” you said, your head starting to feel pleasantly heavy.

Eager to move closer to your date, you sat back into the couch and tucked your feet up, leaning onto your hip. There was still space between the two of you, but it was Goku’s turn to come to you next.

The movie began with a vibrant action scene, filling the dark room with bright flashes of light. After draining half of his glass, Goku leaned forward and placed it on the coffee table. When he leaned back, he closed the small gap between you, nestling your shoulder under his wing on the back of the couch. A rush filled you immediately, and you happily leaned your weight into his firm torso. At that, Goku moved his arm from the couch cushion to rest across your shoulders. Another pleasing rush of adrenaline raced through you. You licked your lips and sipped on the wine.

“This okay?” he said, barely above a whisper.

You gave a smile and warm mm-hmm before placing your glass on the table and snuggling up to him even more. His thighs spread slightly, making his leg press into yours. Like chess opponents trading moves, you thought about what your next move should be. Your mind flashed back to the last time you saw Goku. That blue tank top had shown off his pecs just right…

Biting your lip, you leaned your head over to rest your burning cheek against his chest. With your ear pressed to him, you could hear his heart beating wildly. The excitement of snuggling up with such a handsome guy was not lost on you, as your heart was purring like an engine. His pecs really did make for a great pillow.

Goku began brushing his fingers softly over your exposed shoulder. You sighed happily and relaxed into his touch.

“You’re comfy,” you said as you worked your arms around his waist. He leaned back, pulling you into him even more.

“Thanks,” he chuckled. “You’re cute.”

“Thanks,” you breathed, heart leaping at the compliment.

As the movie progressed, you paid less attention to it and more to every fiber of Goku’s body. After polishing off your glasses of wine and feeling delightfully buzzed, you curled up even further into him, feet tucked up and thighs falling over onto his. Your head also migrated from resting atop his muscular chest to nuzzling into his neck. All it would take would be a subtle movement to start kissing his neck…

It took a while to muster the courage to make such a bold move. It was only your first date after all. Perhaps this was moving too fast. But he really did seem into you. And you were undoubtedly into him. While gently petting your hand over his chest, you parted your lips, and allowed a steamy breath to escape and tickle his neck. His heart began to drum hard enough for you to feel. You let your lips touch his skin with a feather-light press. Goku’s dark eyes slid closed with your next kiss, the fullness of your gorgeous mouth lighting up each nerve along his neck. You gave a gentle suck to it, causing a sweet sigh to fall from his lips. You trailed your hand up to hold the opposite side of his neck as your tongue began to tease him with tiny kitten licks, then bold circles.

Goku’s hand went from your shoulder to the back of your head, guiding you. You felt his pulse pound as you kissed him. His other hand found your wrist and squeezed.

“Hah,” he breathed. “Need to kiss you.”

You pulled back enough to look at his handsome face. His cheeks were pleasantly pink and his eyes were dazed and dreamy behind his frames. He took your chin with one hand and brought your mouth up to his, finally letting your hot breaths intermingle before he sweetly caressed your lips with his own. Goku’s tongue softly brushed over your lip, silently pleading for yours. You obliged and his tongue invaded to massage yours. Every movement was slow and sensual, tender yet incredibly erotic.

While shifting yourself to face Goku more fully, your leg brushed past something hard, and you were certain it wasn’t just his meaty thighs. Your core heated and revved like a racecar. Unable to keep them suppressed, sighs and heavy breaths from Goku encouraged you to continue kissing.

“W-wait,” Goku said, pulling away slightly. “You aren’t too drunk for this, are you?”

You pulled back further and looked at him, his black eyes full of concern. Your heart clenched. What a sweetheart!

“No,” you giggled, pulling his glasses off and placing them next to your empty wine glasses. “I may be a bit buzzed, but I’m fully aware of what I’m doing. And I don’t intend to stop.”

With that, you climbed over Goku to straddle his lap. Without the black frames, his eyes shone with gentleness, and lust. Using his shoulders for support, you adjusted yourself atop his lap until you found exactly what you were looking for. His lips fell open with a sharp, breathy groan.

“This okay?” you asked as you returned your mouth to his.

Goku kissed you between heated breaths as he gripped your thighs. “Hahh, yeah. Definitely.”

You shrugged off your cardigan and tossed it aside as you made out. One of your hands worked into Goku’s wild hair as his hands wandered up to your hips. He pulled you towards him, chest to chest, and your tight jean shorts gave you both a taste of delicious friction. That made him shove his tongue messily down your throat, like he was slowly fucking your mouth. You whined, grinding your hips down. He responded with a tight squeeze to your ass.

“I’ve… I’ve never really done this whole hooking up thing before,” he admitted.

You scratched his scalp lightly, making his eyes flutter in pleasure. “We don’t have to go any further.”

“But that’s the problem,” he said, kissing your throat. “I don’t wanna stop. You’re really hot and I don’t know if I can control myself.”

You giggled as his lips trailed down to your collarbone, sweet sensations filling you from head to core. “Then by all means, continue.”

“You gotta tell me if you wanna stop, or if I go too far.” He slid the strap of your cami and kissed your shoulder.

“Okay. And you do, too,” you breathed as his fingers softly traced your arm.

Just the touch of his hands was enough to make your eyes fall closed in bliss, and you wanted his big hands all over you. Under your shirt, on your waist, in your shorts…

“Can’t believe you aren’t bringing girls back every night. You’re so fucking hot,” you said as he sucked on your pulse point.

He smirked and took your cheek in in his palm. “I’m not a fuck boy. I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.” He gave you the most saccharine kiss yet, making you melt completely in his lap. “Which reminds me…” He pulled back slightly to look you in the eyes. “This… Isn’t just gonna be a one time thing, is it? Because I really do like you, and I want to get to know you.”

You smiled and put your hands on his gorgeous chest. “I like you too, Goku. And I’d love to get to know you better, and make out with you more, too.”

He gave a glowing smile and endearing chuckle. If he were any cuter, you feared your heart may burst. “Yeah, I really like kissing you. Like, a lot.”

And so you did just that. Desperate yet tender, Goku’s tongue reconnected with yours as your hips began to roll against his. Those shorts of his were blessedly thin, and your tight denim put pressure right on your sweet spot.

“Mm, touch me more,” you pleaded.

“Where?” he whispered.

“Anywhere. Everywhere.”

You took Goku’s lower lip between your teeth as his big hands roamed freely. His thumbs brushed the undersides of your breasts, then boldly over the fullness of them just as your hips hitched against his stiff cock print. A moan ripped from your throat.

You gripped the back of the couch on either side of Goku’s head and started working your hips into a rhythm. It was agonizingly slow for him, just enough stimulation to tease and make him want more. Foreheads sealed together, mouths exchanging breaths, you humped his lap as he tenderly squeezed your tits.

“Can you go faster?” he asked, a desperate tremble to his voice. You grinned and did as he asked while bringing your chest close to his face. He pressed your breasts together and kissed the tops of them, slightly pulling down the top of your camisole. You slid the straps off your shoulders and pulled the shirt down to expose your tits to him. Goku’s eyes shone brightly as they drank you in. “Fuck. You’re perfect,” he praised, circling his thumbs over your nipples.

“Use your mouth.”

He obeyed immediately, placing delicate kisses over one while softly pinching the other. You sighed and rewarded him by continuing to hump him. But he teased you, only lightly lapping your nipple with his sweet tongue.

“Mm, harder,” you whined.

Goku proved to be pleasantly obedient, taking your directions well. He sucked and pulled back to let your tit bounce, then sought your eyes for approval. You groaned in pleasure and mussed his hair, forcing his head back to your chest. One of his large hands supported your upper back, the other smearing saliva over your pert nipple. The telltale tingle between your thighs was beginning to grow steadily. Based on the way he was whining and bucking underneath you, Goku was feeling good, too.

“Damnit, please don’t make me ruin these shorts by cumming in them,” he begged.

You slowed your pace and lifted Goku’s chin. “Where do you want to cum then?”

His pupils wide in awe, he failed to form any coherent words. “I… Well, wha…”

“Aw, did I make you dumb already, big boy?” you patronized.

“I was never that smart to begin with.” His expression was dreamy and he stared up at you like you were a goddess.

You giggled and stood up. “Why don’t you let me finish you off?”

You got on your knees between his, your breasts still exposed and holding his attention. Your soft hands rubbed up his sculpted thighs, sneaking under the hem of his shorts. His eyes met yours as you palmed his aching cock. His perfectly kissable lips hung open as you teased him, and his throaty little moans each sent a pulse straight to your pussy.

As you pulled at the waistband of his shorts, you saw two wet spots of precum had soaked through, a sign of a job well done by you. Goku lifted his hips and pulled down the obstruction to reveal his gloriously sized dick. You almost growled at the sight, feral with desire.

“Holy shit,” you said, eyes devouring the perfect specimen before you. The tip was fat and shiny, begging for your lips to wrap around it. “This still okay?”

He blew a puff of air through his nose. “Of course.”

You wrapped your index finger and thumb around his thick cock, teasing up and down his shaft slowly. He tried to strangle his moan in his throat. You met his eyes as he reclined and you lightly pressed a kiss to his tip, then trailed more kisses down one side of his length. You never would have guessed he could made such sinful sounds from his candy-sweet personality, but each noise weakened you. Eye contact still unbroken, your lips finally enveloped his cockhead, then pulled off with an obscene slurp. One hand on his shaft and the other squeezing his thigh, you circled your tongue around Goku’s beautiful cock. Worshipping it with your mouth and hearing his vocal approval made you clench your leg muscles, stimulating yourself.

“Decided where you wanna cum yet?” you asked as you licked up the underside, making him shudder.

“Ahh… I’m really not picky,” he chuckled.

With that, you started sucked him off with purpose and vigor, eager to hear his whines of pleasure. Your saliva dripped down, making a mess of him as your hand twisted and pulled. You kept constant pressure and pleasure on him, making his moans pitch up. They came in short, desperate bursts and you finally dove deep, taking his entire length down your throat in one swift motion. As you lifted to dive down again, Goku gripped the arm of the couch with one hand and guided your head with the other. While his touch was light on you, you feared his intense strength might rip the upholstery of the poor couch.

“Ahh, almost there!” Goku cried, hips beginning to twitch.

End in sight, you watched his face as you sucked him. A few final strokes and one beastly growl had him shooting hot strings down your throat. His brows knit together tightly, mouth hanging open, head tossing. He writhed in pleasure as you slowed, swallowing every drop he offered you. And it was a lot. You swallowed at least three times, taking more cum each time. Even when your mouth left him, tiny beads formed at the slit of his cock. You smeared them with you thumb, then licked him clean.

“Hope you didn’t mind that I decided for you,” you panted, proud of your hard work.

Goku slumped on the couch wearing a dazed expression. “I can barely move. Damn,” he said with a soft chuckle. “But what can I do for you now?”

Just as a grin started to form, the sound of someone unlocking the front door jolted you both out of your haze. Your eyes grew wide.

“Vegeta’s back already?” Goku whispered, frantically stuffing himself back inside his shorts as you fixed your shirt. You stood quickly enough to make your head spin and grabbed your empty wine glasses to busy yourself. Just as you made it to the kitchen to wash the glasses (and your hand covered in spit and cum), Vegeta shoved his way through the front door. You gave him a soapy-handed wave.

“Hey Vegeta,” you said, hoping he wouldn’t take a long enough look at you to notice your flushed face, neck, and chest. Thankfully, he just gave you a grunt in reply.

“You’re back early,” Goku said, a lilt in his voice.

“Not really,” Vegeta grumbled, barely giving Goku a glance as he passed. His bedroom door shut with a stern thud.

“Sounds like he had a bad day,” you mused.

Goku stood from the couch and replaced his eyeglasses. “Well, yeah. He’s jealous that you picked me over him.”

Your heart screeched to a halt. “Wait. What are you talking about?”

He tilted his head and padded over to you at the sink. “Bulma said that you said you had a better connection with me.”

Your cheeks began to burn. “She told you I said that? But she said one of you asked about me! She told me to guess which one! I couldn’t decide which of you I liked better, so she… That Bulma!” You dried your hands and tossed the dish towel onto the counter, pouting that Bulma had tricked you into making a decision. “Wait, so neither one of you actually asked her about me?”

Goku smiled warmly. “Actually, we both did. As soon as Vegeta got back from his lab, we had an argument about which one of us was gonna get to ask you out. Bulma overheard us and told us she’d figure out who you liked better!”

“But I just flipped a coin! Literally, I couldn’t decide!” you laughed.

“You did? So you didn’t really pick me at all, did you?” Goku asked, looking like a kicked puppy.

You stood on your toes and reached your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a sensual kiss.

“Fate picked you for me. And for the record, I’m really, really glad it was you, Goku.” His hands held your waist as he returned your kiss. When you pulled back, his sugary smile had renewed completely and his eyes sparkled with affection.

“Me too.”

tags: @artof-aristocracy @ghostlylovesstuff

[stevie-petey]

If you're still taking blurbs could we see something with hopper and bug? I don't really have any ideas in mind but I'd like to see them together however you wanna write them. Thank you if you get to this! <333

hop n bug :(( i miss them sm

enjoy !

"are you for or against bribery?"

"im sorry?"

you lean against the doorframe, arms crossed as you stare at hopper from across the room. hes in his recliner, feet propped up with a beer in his hand. "you know, bribery. im sure youve done it."

his eyebrow twitches. "shouldnt you be leaving?"

"so i take it that as a 'yes' then."

"what is 'bribery'?" el materializes behind you, causing you to nearly have a heart attack.

shes scarily quiet, sometimes.

"its none of your business, kid." hopper says lazily, used to the girls sudden appearances.

you scoff at him and turn to el. "bribery is bad, sweetheart. but im going to use hoppers weakness for chocolate to advantage so i can get you to attend steves graduation."

"'graduation'?" el asks at the same time as hopper cackles, "yeah, not on my watch."

like a child, you stomp your foot. "c'mon, old man! everyone else will be there and steve could really use the support."

"isnt he some rich douchebag?"

"language!" you glare at the man, covering els ears as she giggles. "but... not anymore?"

hopper takes a long, slow drink from his beer. wiping his mouth, he belches obnoxiously and scratches his stomach. ignoring your disgusted face, he points a finger at you. "you know the rules. el doesnt leave this cabin."

"shes a kid, hopper."

"my point exactly."

el looks between you and hopper, her eyebrows furrowed. shes following along as best as she can. you hadnt meant to have this conversation in front of her. you thought she'd remain asleep in her room.

"will mike go?" she has a determined glint in her brown eyes.

hopper sucks in a breath. he sends you a glare, warning you not to say anything. but you smile sickly sweet and turn to el. "actually, he is going!"

els eyes light up. she spins around, throws herself against hoppers chair. "then i want to go."

"see?" you join els side and stare down at the man, a smirk on your face. "el wants to go and im sure she could use the fresh air."

"y/n." hopper rubs his forehead tiredly. youre annoyingly persistent. he knows you mean well, but he just cant risk els safety for something as trivial as a high school graudation.

"please?" youre not above pouting to get your way. "i mean, realistically how many secret government agents would even attend a high school graduation, looking for el?"

el nods. "yeah! how many?"

"we can never be too careful-"

"i'll bake you five entire batches of brownies."

hopper looks at you, unamused. "thats not going to work on me."

"joyce mentioned that you secretly enjoy marshmallow." you challenge.

"she talks to you about me?" hopper asks you, pleasantly surprised.

his interest makes you curious. "i mean, yeah. we talk about you all the time."

"hm..." hopper gets a far off look on his face, and for a moment youve lost him.

"hey!" your hand slams against his arm. "pay attention to me, im trying to bribe you."

"bribery is bad." el says, as if as a threat. her eyes are narrowed and her body is stiff. her threatening stance is adorable.

you kiss els forehead. "thats right, sweetheart. bribery is bad, and we're going to make your dad suffer."

your dad.

the words slip out before you can stop them. el doesnt pay them any attention, but hoppers inhales quickly and looks away. worried youve ruined everything, you begin to ramble.

"i'll bake anything you want, and i'll even trick mike into shoveling your driveway the next time it snows. i-i'll make sure no one sees el and that shes in a disguise. i have some clothes-and i'll even have her back as soon as the ceremony is over and-"

"kid." hoppers voice interrupts you. both you and el stare at him with big, pleading eyes. the sight is brutal, theres no way he stands a chance of telling the two of you no.

sighing and groaning far too loud for your taste, hopper finally relents. "fine."

"yes!" you screech, jumping up and down before you can stop yourself. "thank you, thank you, thank you!"

el jumps alongside you, squealing with glee as well. shes glowing, happy as ever, and you grab her hands and jump merrily with her. "he said yes!"

"woah-listen!" hopper yells, clapping his hands. "hey, i have some terms and conditions you need to follow before i completely agree."

too overjoyed, you dont care whatever price youll have to pay. "bring it on, old man."

"i want a months worth of brownies." he states, taking another sip from his beer. "and free babysitting whenever i need it. i also want your nosey brother to stop tapping into my PD radio. and tell that wheeler kid to stop breathing."

"i can do all requests but the last one."

el shakes her head, very serious and grim. "mike cannot be a mouth breather."

the outrageous statement causes you to laugh, and hopper even lets out a confused, though amused, chuckle. el doesnt understand why what shes said is so funny, but she laughs along anyways.

its a good night.

“COME HOME” BLURB MASTERLIST

if you’d like to buy me a coffee ☕︎

[fiendforbyler]

wait y’all i just realised something that is probably niche as fuck but anyway! if you know/have read the Keeper of the Lost Cities series in it’s entirety you will understand the relationship/love triangle between sophie, fitz and keefe. from the beginning fitz is set up at sophie’s love interest, even as young kids (i believe she is 12 in the first book? and he is maybe a year older? not 100% it’s been a while). she crushed on him for majority of the series and finally in book 7/8 they get together with a seemingly very romantic gesture from fitz, with many hints during the series that fitz liked her back. point is: we were all rooting for them. it is imprtant to note that it’s also always been hinted at but later in the series confirmed that keefe has major feelings for sophie as well. for me, this is representative of mike/el/will love triangle, with sophie being mike, keefe being will, and fitz being el. now, i don’t really like fitz but i LOVE el so yeah this isn’t a flawless comparison but ANYWAY back to my main point!! keefe (will) is so likeable with a tragic backstory, troubling plot line, has a lot of trauma AND a sorry crush on a girl (boy) who (supposedly) has eyes only for one person since the beginning- something that has been clearly set up and formed into a seemingly sweet relationship readers have been rooting for from the beginning. yeah this is sounding familiar? here’s the problem (or solution for sophkeefe/byler shippers like i): ITS NOT WHAT SOPHIE THOUGHT IT WOULD BE. fitz pressures her into trying to find her bio parents so they could be matched, he is aggressive and possessive over her (not in a good way) and she breaks up with him. during this, i’m pretty sure she begins to crush on keefe as well- keefe in permanent denial she could ever like him back of course- and feels terribly guilty about it, because she still has feeling for fitz. (yeah i told you, not the perfect comparison but you understand what i’m getting at right?) while things with fitz get worse, sophie starts genuinely discovering how she really feels about keefe, with lines like “if she was really really honest- and really really brave- she had to admit that the idea of being with keefe sounded… kind of amazing. Yes, it was scary. and yes there were risks. but wouldn’t it be worth trying?” wouldn’t it be worth trying? ladies and gents, we just discovered mikes inner monologue!!! scary, risky, but worth it? its what will is to him! mike has always been “too insecure to let (him)self see what’s right in front of (him)” (a line taken from the book!!!!!!) will is in front of him. he is being so distracted by his internalised homophobia that he has NOOO idea what he is missing!! “‘SERIOUSLY, STOP!’ she told herself again…/ adding those kind of feelings to a friendship pretty much ruined everything. ( talking about fitz)”

and it’s all oh so familiar…

BUT WAIT! THERES MORE! finally, FINALLY, during our long awaited kiss scene, she says this:

“some tiny part of her head had always wondered if kissing keefe could really be as great as everyone claimed. but kissing keefe was so. much. better.”

yeah. and then blah blah they get interrupted by who? of yes of course fitzy the ex boyfriend is here. and he says what when he finds out? OH YEAH. “you kissed him? you didn’t even kiss me!”

THAT SOUNDS A LOT LIKE “you never say it/i say it” AND “i didn’t say it/you didn’t have to” or pretty much the same way mike acts around will vs el.

you know what else? mikes inability to say i love you to el (hasn’t kissed fitz) but so clearly communicate it to will (kissing keefe)

if you haven’t read all this (and i don’t blame you!!) just read this next paragraph!

but back to my main MAIN point. sophitz was the ship EVERYONE (except maybe a select few) wanted right up until they got together!! it was perfect on paper, cute, with history and seemingly ‘connected’ character (as per the plot), and as soon as they got together, everything fell apart, as well as sophie closing herself off and beginning to lose fitz even before the downfall of their relationship due to her suppressed feelings about keefe. (cough cough MIKE) they need to break up for her to realise keefe was the better match all along. keefe, who never thought he as a chance. keefe, who loved her from the start. KEEFE, WHO LET HIS BEST FRIEND HAVE HER IF IT MEANT HAPPINESS TO THEM.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? please tell me i’m not crazy!! thank you for reading this it took me a long time to write but it also felt great to write this out even if no one reads this. hail to byler and a reminder we are one day closer to seeing them on screen. have a great day/night!

[cruyuu]

Hey have you seen that one managa panel in the latest leaks where its sukuna just gently graeping yuuji's head as he just beats the shit outta him?

Theres a post on tumblr where it has it and like a powerscaler from twitter basically saying "is sukuna really tryna fuck up yuuji bc i would have personally sunken my nails into his skull" and uh... yeah the person has a point. Sukuna really is just gently holding Yuuji's head.

Like his actions seem both brutal yet... protective? For a man who 'hates' Yuuji he sure as hell is giving mixed signals during his fight against him.

I did, anon! The "holding gently" and "beating the shit out of" being in a single sentence together tho lmfao.

I'm glad people are starting to notice that these two are not just fighting because that is true. If they were truly fighting, the fight would've ended a long time ago and would've been way, way more serious than whatever this is. Atp, I don't even know what the hell they are doing. They're groping each other more so than causing any real damage, like I'm genuinely tired of them lmfao.

Ever since the start of this arc, we've got Sukuna gripping his waist and holding him like they're dancing (?), Yuuji clinging onto his arm like a koala, Sukuna smiling as he hugs him closer to his face and Dismantles him, Yuuji wrapping his arms around his neck and his legs around his waist and now... add the gentle head cradling as they throw punches at each other. Truly the fight of all time, isn't it? Just a bit of jujutsu (ft. a Domain Expansion not for ripping away Sukuna's soul but... talking with him and spending a day with him?) a lot of unnecessary touching (and gentleness), and hatred which is showcased by... gentle head holding?

Sure, Megumi is still in there so that explains why Yuuji would be holding back from damaging Sukuna too much and not tearing him limb from limb but still, that notion didn't stop him from nearly tearing his heart out in Chapter 260 nor does it explain why he wrapped his arms around his neck (like what was the purpose) so... yeah.

As for Sukuna... yeah, there's absolutely no way to explain his behavior at all.

With that hulking form which towers over Yuuji, you would think, since he hates him and wishes to see him gone (and especially since he knows Yuuji's punches are dangerous and need to be avoided), he'd be trying to put some distance between them. Like idk grab him by the leg and throw him away or just in general do something which is beneficial to him and act like Yuuji is as insignificant as he loves to yap that he is.

Well. Nope lmfao.

Somebody had said it is because they were one body before so they're unconsciously leaning into each other and cannot know of personal space and that headcanon is just a perfect way to explain this. They may "hate" each other but that longing to be close is winning the fight in this case. Isn't that sweet?

Like his actions seem both brutal yet... protective?

Ngl anon, Sukuna is brutal but this is as far away from his usual brutality as it can possibly be. Remember that this is a man whose CT is literally tearing something into shreds, who had cut a person in half, who had turned a literal teenager into little cubes for simply daring to attack him. That is Sukuna we were introduced to, the one who never gave a fuck about anyone and was pretty brutal. For him to be brutal now, he'd have to do something far worse than just throw a punch. Maybe finally start behaving like he feels? He claims he hates Yuuji and yet... doesn't fight him with visceral anger?

Ah... It's always something with these two lol. I'll miss them a lot.

[poorlemons]

HI!!! I absolutely adore your art (it's so beautiful. It's so fluid. It's having a long lasting impact on my brain. Everytime I close my eyes theres just lemons art and darkness.) and I think far too much about your Clear Image AU, I fear I may have to start making slideshows about it.

But also curious about what happens to Michael during the rest of the timeline, like post season 3 times. Does she stay in the archives or move on with her life? And then what happens to her after the Eyepocalypse, is she okay (can she be okay please I'll cry)?

thank you so much that is so sweet of you!! im glad you enjoy my evil machinations. also i apologize if any of this has weird grammar or anything, i just woke up and am eating breakfast as i write this. also grammar is hard and im jsut a silly little guy, have mercy on me and post season 3 timeline... well as I see it, theres a couple ways it could go, and I think I will ponder them all. why get 1 ending when i can show you the good and the bad and let you sit with it! :3 ok so i need to establish somethings first. 1) the way I explain michael shelley herself still existing after becoming the distortions vessel is her tether to the Eye. If she had not been so connected to Beholding through the archives contract, and by how long she worked down there (in my michael timeline she's been there since the like, 80s. she's the michael mentioned by eric or whatever, i like that version of events). So it has its claws in her deep, even as she's kept ignorant. She wants to know, she wants to dig... she's just also prevented from doing it. and 2) Yeah that contract is still in place. how? because its funnier if it is, and also she never did *die*. Michael Shelley was missing, but never really reported, and she never died while she was being used as a vessel. So michael only has a few options if she wants to be free of the archives. In no timeline does Michael die! She's OK-ish. also none of these are 100% planned out so itll mostly be sparknotes So the first option for her to take is stabbing out her eyes to get that contract broken right there. But heres the issue: who would Michael get help from? Suddenly becoming blind is not really a hurdle you can jump alone, at least not easily. And she has no home, really no physical ties to anything because everything she had is most likely gone/thrown out by now. It would leave her blind and homeless, i fear. Because the archive people are her friends sorta, but like... theyre still caught up in the archives, they're busy and stressed all the time. Plus, the eye stabby thing is only found out some while into season 4. so she's probably not taking that route

the second one is she stays at the archives (good timeline): Heres when I reveal CIau as a fix-it. In this timeline a few things are true (Tim is alive, Jon didn't get comaed, Martin doesn't go with Peter, tensions are generally lower, Daisy did get coffined, though. the Unknowing did happen it just went... Better). This obviously frustrates Elias greatly, but Michael is a powerhouse of pure spite and determination to thwart that son of a bitch. He *knew* what Gertrude did to assistants, and he didn't *care*. Getting him out of power is the closest thing Michael could get to revenge. And oh how she wants that, never forget she is angry at what was done to her- its a low, dormant anger, but it is anger. So they go about Season 4, but less loneliness sand misery. Michael is determined to live her life to the fullest and she's pulling everyone into it as well. Its a little awkward in the Archives, and nobody can fully heal while they're trapped but relationships are improving. Melanie's bullet is removed consentually, everything is "great" (jon probably still gets stabbed though, i think thats funny). Tim is even less... sad miserable tim. And really a lot of it is different because... well season 4 hinged on that loneliness and misery. So in between mandatory get-out-of-the-archvies days and shit like that, theyre trying to figure out how to get rid of the contracts. Maybe they burn it or something, maybe they throw elias into Helen and carve out his eyes- that'd be fun. But they get free, yippee, and so Michael can go about getting new papers n shit and everyone can heal. I'd like to think she gets like, a nice calm job. She and Jon definitively volunteer at an animal shelter on the weekends. Her, martin, and anyone else who wants to tag along have little tea hangouts. Her and Tim sit in amicable silence or go out on some sort of hike, depends on how they feel (Michael's back does not appreciate it sometimes but she tries her best to keep up with her friend). Her, Basira, Jon, and Georgie have a book club. Georgie is chill too!! She gets a cat named Private Pea (name courtesy of Jon) and all is vibing.

Now time for bad timeline: A few things are the same, a few are different (Tim is alive, Jon gets comaed (this one was more of an accident that deliberate of Tim, Tim feels bad about it), Daisy is coffined, Martin is pulled in with Peter though its much more of a struggle for Peter to *keep* him, tensions are lower for most of them (Melanie has a bullet in her leg so shes still angry), and Georgie is wary but they manage to communicate the situation to her better so she doesn't fully cut contact with Jon.) Things are rough for a while, since Jon is out for the count, but everyone makes do as they can. Tim feels Bad about what happened, but Michael makes sure to help Tim out and try to make him feel better. They're friends, your honor. Yadi yada Jon comes back, Melanie gets her bullet taken out, everyone misses Martin. The events here are much more in line with canon season 4. They're still trying to find a way to break contract, but with the concerns about Martin and Daisy- and Jon's whole humanity- they're lagging behind about that. Michael does cry when she hears Eric's tape, Jon makes sure to let her listen to it. Melanie stabs out her eyes, daisy is retrieved from the coffin (Jon still loses a few ribs bc he's... Jon and of course he'd do that still), etc. Helen's relationship with the main crew is a little odd, since Michael is around, but maybe they're at a tentative truce. Maybe they paint each other's nails as a peace offering. The final peter-elias confrontation happens, shit hits the fan in the archives with the hunters 'n everything. Helen shelters Michael and Tim (michael is more or less safe from the distortion's effects and just hold onto Tim really hard) but Daisy still goes Hunt mode etc. Martin is saved, he and Jon get sent off to the safehouse and all is quiet for a little while. Michael and Tim do their best to just exist, Basira is off looking for Daisy, Melanie and Georgie are at home, the stage is set. Maybe Tim and Michael were out of town on a little trip when the eyepocalypse starts. OK. so. Eyepocalypse. Michael is trapped in a spiral-esc domain. I think her position is fairly unique. Not an avatar but so heavily marked by the Spiral that even the domain is confused on whether or not she's in charge. Its torment either way, she feels as if she's back in that hell of being Michael. Tim's probably also stuck in a domain, probably stranger, and maybe a bit of desolation, though i don't know how that'd look. I think Tim is 100% afraid of losing everything he has again, of burning those bridges for good. and also clowns. I think when Jon makes it to that domain, it takes a moment for him to realize who's statement he's taking. And then Martin and Jon try to hunt her down a pull her out. They do! She doesn't even really need the "ceaseless watcher make this person into your little bitch" or whatever, because her existence is just that muddled. She just... gets pulled out and her position shifts from watched to watcher. They go hunt down Tim, and idk maybe with the help of Helen and Michael they manage to fish him out without him becoming an avatar was well. Maybe he does have to get ceaseless watchered, no idea. Then theyre back on track through the domains, now Jon, Martin, Michael, Tim, and a Helen sometimes. They make it to London, they meet up with the others, everything is generally the same. But instead of that jon-stabbing kurfuffle, they kill jonah and everything falls apart and boom its ok the world is normal. Maybe most of the world doesn't remember but its alright, Theyre free. and thusly it sorta picks up from there like how it did in the better timeline. But maybe with a lot more issues to work around and heal from. so um. yeah something like that. I dunno

[gabapentinblues]

6.14.2025 journal update

im here again. here to suffer the same things over and over again. change is on my back and im doing nothing to carry it the distance i need to go. im on the side of the road crying like a tired child that its too hard. and no one's coming for me. i need to tie my shoes and get moving again, and no one will be there to see me do it. im on my own.

i feel absolutely horrible this morning. my snug piercing is swollen and gross and painful. that made sleeping harder. and falling asleep has sucked the last two nights. maybe i'll get fucked up tonight to make it easier.

i just cried and complained and was rude to my friends all night last night. im sure im a nightmare to be around and to hear from. im sure its easier to not hear from me, so im going to leave them alone today. it hurts bc i want to say something. i dont want to be alone. but all i am is alone. theres is no other way to get thru this.

im not convinced im going to get better. i think i may very well spend every day for the rest of my life frustrated and wanting to die. covering it and hiding it and navigating around it, but it will always be there. my one friend is too busy anyway and i dont want to be too emotionally dependent on her. i dont want to just text her every time i want to die bc thats literally every day like clockwork. i need to stop. and my other friend is too sweet.

part of me wants to just push them away and burn them out though. like i want people to believe me, to understand how much im suffering. it feels like theres no way to put it into words and it infuriates me. it feels like no one will ever really stay with me and sit with me in it. everyone just hopes i figure i out and i resent that. i dont think i'll be hearing from anyone today. i have this storm cloud feeling over my head like they're mad at me or tired of me.

im tired of myself. i dont know how to cope any better than what im doing right now. my main coping skill is avoidance. i avoid everything because it's all too painful. its all impossible. i dont know what else to do. im scared im going to lose all my friends. i want starving to be my coping skill again. starving and quiet control. ive been wanting to self harm a lot recently, but literally all the clean up and aftercare stops me, like i literally dont have the energy for it, as much as i want to.

i know there are other things i could do besides being like oh poor me everything is so hard and i want to die, just all the time nonstop. but like thats literally how i feel. its so hard to find a healthy way to express that. my life and my being feels so empty and its so so painful. i dont know what to do with my emotional energy, or lack thereof. i dont know how to move through my day in a way that is healthy.

that job interview yesterday really set me off. i really have a deep gut feeling that im not going to get it. i just have this deep gut feeling that nothing is ever going to get better and its time for me to give up. i feel so done with everything. its the third day of my period so things should be calming down hormonally. i'll probably get settled back into something that feels okay just in time for my pmdd to flare again. i know it was worse this month because i also went off my meds but still.

i have felt so irritable and just ready to meltdown over the smallest things. like right now i feel on the verge of a freak out and nothign has even happened. so yeah the job interview sucked and i spend the whole day wallowing in it. literally accomplished nothing and felt suicidal all day. i didnt exactly binge eat but i ate more than i wanted to.

im trying to keep track of whether i binge or keep a calorie deficit and just get back into consistently restricting into a deficit. i will get there, im not going to stop logging my food every day and analyzing my habits and trying again. this is my month for getting back into the habit and then the rest of the year is for weightloss. i cant stand this body. i miss my thigh gap and skinny arms and flat chest so bad. i can do this to get it back, no food is more important or enjoyable than the body that i want. it has just been hard for me to stay focused bc ive been so suicidal and miserable and defeated, frustrated and apathetic. all those emotions take over and steal my determination sometimes. im still just going to try to eat as little as possible, and im always going to keep track. every day is another chance to get close to what im striving for. control. its only going to get easier.

i felt like i was completely sabotaged yesterday bc after dinner when i thought i had eaten all my calories for the day and was pretty content with where i was at my sister pulled out a secret pint of ben and jerrys ice cream that was literally *for me* and then my mom made lemon drops and again made one specifically for me, and i guess friday nights can be a time where i have things like that, i was just completely unprepared for it so it messed me up. then i ate two pieces of pizza before i went to bed bc i was emotionally frustrated.

i keep like getting this feeling like i want to pick a fight with my friend i get so angry and frustrated and just want to push her away and prove that i dont deserve anything and i was totally doing that last night and just making myself feel worse and worse. talked to my other friend on the phone and just cried about how empty i feel. i feel like a total void of a person like nothing can help me and im just going to scare everyone away. im waiting for everyone in my life to notice that they feel better when im not around.

trying to do better is just excruciating and embarrassing. i just feel like i keep falling down farther and farther into self hatred and self destruction and it feels really immature but i dont know how to stop, like i just dont have a hold of myself. i want to come out of that cycle because i know it only makes me feel worse, but i guess i also dont want people standing around and clapping like omg look how much better youre doing bc that just feels patronizing. i texted my friend that im sorry for being so combative and toxic and that no one deserves to just have all that bs put onto them bc its not their problem to fix like its my shit and i do need to do a better job of taking ownership of it. i want to catch myself when i start falling into that spiral in the future of laying all my problems on someone else and expecting them to either like fix it or to feel as bad as i feel. its a really bad habit.

so yeah yesterday just completely sucked. i feel gross, like i need to shower. i also feel fat and like im going to have a hard time finding anything to wear today. somehow i'll figure it out. im literally too fat for like 90 percent of my clothes tho.

im going out to see my friends band play tonight and im staying the night w her after so we can hang in the morning tomorrow. i think that will be a breath of fresh air. we havent gotten to spend time together just the two of us for a while and i think shes easily my most grounded, easy to talk to friend. im going to picker her up so we'll have the ride to the show to catch up and all morning tomorrow.

i should kind of clean up but it's okay if i dont. like i really should put my laundry away at least but i might not get to it. at least my clothes are clean. and ive definitely got to shower. i'll get something to eat and get ready and see how much time i have to clean up afterwards, then i'll go pick her up and we'll have some nice time together which i can tell my soul very much needs.

[fandomfluffandfuck]

hi S ok you definitely dont have to answer this bc its basically just me venting and its pretty lame haha but im curious if its something you've ever dealt with or if u have advice... basically i have diagnosed ASD and marvel is my special interest and has been since i was a kid and im pretty positive its going to stay my favorite thing for the rest of my life lol. and sometimes i get so sooo sad and kinda lonely thinking about the fact that like .. i know its basically still one of the biggest fandoms out there but like all my favorite fics were posted like 5-10 years ago mostly from authors that arent even in the fandom anymore and theres never gonna be another movie with steve and bucky together that everyone gets excited about and wants to talk about and theres also just so much less of a fun goofy little tight knit community for stucky on tumblr and online like ... idk i just miss so bad when the mcu was at its peak and there was so much content to consume and so many people passionate about it... and i know theres definitely still a huge presence and like im so thankful that youre an author that i love thats still super active and im always glad to visit your page and to see that theres still so many fans out there that care and wanna interact yknow. but tumblrs different now and its been like ten years since peak stucky content and the actors are all doing their own thing now idk it just makes me sad 😩😩 i feel like such a loser saying it i swear i have other interests and an irl life that is very fruitful and lovely hahaha its just makes me a bit frustrated at my autism because i know i wont be able to ever really stop loving these characters even as others move on

Hey, sweets!

I understand what you mean and you're not a loser, not at all. It's fucking great to have an interest in something, anything--what else is life for? You gotta have something to be focused on and interested in that gives you joy, otherwise, what is there? Just blandness. And, yeah, Marvel fandom is still very much active and that's wonderful and great! But, it's also true that it will never be the same as it was in its heyday. Personally, I wasn't around when the stucky fandom was exploding along the release of CA:TWS/the general MCU height, but I certainly see all the old art, edits, cosplay, etc. that's still reblogged and I've read so many of the fics from years prior, so I have a grasp of what was happening. And I can totally see how you'd miss generally, but especially if your fixation has attached deeply to these characters.

I have a sibling on the autism spectrum (who's old enough to have been diagnosed with Aspergers's syndrome before that was phased out but they are, of course, on the spectrum regardless of arbitrary hierarchical labels that I will restrain from ranting about because I fucking hate that shit, don't talk to me about "high functioning" ugh) and they have a few different life-long hyperfixations as well. So, you're not alone, but, it is hard to think of any actual advice per se. I think you're already doing what you need to be doing, y'know? You're here and enjoying what is going on now, connecting to blogs that are active, finding space where you can talk about these characters, you've got other things to do that also capture your attention, and, of course, you know you're sad about what isn't going on anymore. It's okay to be sad. You can't control what you're passionate about in the same way you can't control who you fall in love with. Are these silly little fictional characters not just people we've fallen in love with a little or a lot, no matter if they don't "exist"? I love that for us. Humans are so cute and full of love.

Fandoms and people change and sometimes it fucking sucks when it happens, sometimes it's great. Either way, it's part of the ecosystem of life. Water and nutrients and air and sun--it makes people change, it makes them grow, and you're allowed to be sad about what they used to be, you just have to keep growing, too. Remember what they were and know who they are now.

Hopefully, something in there helped you feel better, even if it was just from telling someone how you feel.

[st4rgzer]

PINKY PROMISE charlie (tpobaw)

summary: charlie gets a surprising visit from his girlfriend after the incident

genre: angst and fluff

cw!: implication or suicide, use of she/her pronouns, mentions of mental hospital?, a one time mention of cigarettes

a/n: this is for the beloved ciara, so, enjoy girlie😝 (also i apologize if theres mistakes or its bad, its my first time writing a fic and english is my second language so go easy on me😭) And at the start is a lyric from the 30th by Billie Eilish, Its not important I just thought it was suitable

“in a hospital bed, i remember you said, you were scared, and so was i”

When your mum called me that night, I didn’t believe her, i refused to, i cursed myself. I hated that I wasn’t able to help you, I wasn’t enough for you to try and stay, but i knew I shouldn’t look at it that way, you were still here, with me, thats all that mattered. I sat in the waiting room, the hospital lights were dizzying, absurdly white.When they called my name i let out a breath I didn’t even know i had held.

“Miss y/l/n, Charlie is ready to see you” said the doctor.She had a pretty smile, her voice was soft, i hope she was soft with Charlie, i really do.

I nodded and went through the door, and i swear, when i saw him, my heart stopped. His brown hair was messy, strands going in different directions, his head was slightly leaned on his shoulder, asleep, and the bright light’s accentuated his pale skin. I came closer to the side of the bed, it felt like i was walking on eggshells, trying not to make a noise, he looked so peaceful, I didn’t want to disturb him, but as i sat down on the chair beside him it was like he could feel my presence.

“hey…what are you doing here?” His voice was hoarse, i imagine from all the crying, i tried not to think about that.

“I um, i came to visit you” i said reaching out my hand, i almost couldn’t look at him in the eyes, it hurts to see your favorite person like this, and it hurt a lot. His hand found mine and he started tracing small circles in the palm of my hand, looking down at it, he wanted to say something, he always did that when he was unsure of himself

“Y/n”

“yeah?…” I whispered.

“Im sorry”

He apologized. He was the one in the hospital bed and he apologized. It felt like time stopped, i was so confused, what could he possibly be sorry about? He was perfect, he was so hard on himself and it pained me to hear the quiver in his voice when he said it. I shook my head, furrowing my eyebrows

“No…no, Charlie, don’t apologize” i held his hand tightly and looked at his eyes, nearly wincing when i saw the tears, and the dark eye bags under them.

“You have nothing to be sorry about ok? Nothing.” I stated firmly, i softened my gaze as tears fell out his eyes

“Shhh, its ok, its ok” i reassured him stroking his hand, he looked up at me

“Can you lay with me here, just for a bit…please?” his eyes were begging, pleading almost. I immediately agreed and crawled into his bed, his head laying against my chest, i stroked his hair, untangling all the knots he had, he sobbed against my chest, his hand wrapped around my waist, holding me tighter, i closed my eyes, and held him close.

“There is…so much pain. And i don’t know how to not notice it” i felt his voice tremble, i closed my eyes harder, trying not to cry in front of him, he didn’t need that, i sighed.

“I know, i know that char, you just…have to notice the good things ok? The things worth staying for” i continued playing with his hair to try and distract him, i felt his tears soak my shirt. “Like, remember when we went to that record store? And you were going to buy me that Smiths record? Because of how much you loved it and how you wanted me to love it too, and when we went to checkout, this sweet old lady bought it for us, remember?” I felt him nod, my hand rubbed his back softly “or when we were in Sam and Patricks pick up truck? And we were in that tunnel, and the perfect song was playing, and we all felt-“

“Infinite, we felt infinite” he finished for me, i smiled, it was a relief, he laughed too.

After a moment of sitting in silence, comforted by each others presence, our heartbeats were the only thing we were able to hear, and our breathing had synced up.

“Promise me you’ll never leave me” he whispered, his hand fiddling with the fabric of my shirt.

“Pinky promise” i said, extending my pinky to him, he sat up and looked at me with surprise, a hint of glee in his eyes, i swear i could see the corners of his mouth upturn.

“Pinky promise” he replied back, linking our pinkies, we laughed, we laughed like we always used to, like two silly teenagers in love, we both leaned against the wall catching our breath, looking at the ceiling, our hands intertwined under the scratchy hospital blanket and his head resting on my shoulder.

I turned to look at him, i admired the upturn of his nose, his rosy cheeks, my attention turned to his lips, the subtle pink pigment on them, i could look at him forever and find new things I loved. I cupped the side of his cheek and he looked at me, he smiled softly and sat up straight, re gaining the advantage of him being taller than me, when he’s not slouched. My thumb stroked his cheek, his soft, cold skin leaning into my palm, he rested his hand on the back of my neck to push me more towards him, he glanced at my lips, i looked at his. I could smell his old cologne and a faint cigarette scent, his eyes meet mine, his cheeks take on a much more rosy tint than usual, it feels like one of those moments where you know that even though everything has happened, you still have each other, and you’re sure of it. His lips hesitantly press against mine, making me smile into the kiss, my hand tangles in his hair and his hand move delicately to my hips, resting them there softly, tugging me slightly towards him, his lips are soft against mine, slow, delicate, he hums as i tug his hair just a little, we tear from the kiss reluctantly, after all, this was a hospital.He smiled, i could see the spark in his eyes again, just a little, i couldn’t help but giggle a bit at his swollen lips

“What, whats so funny?” He laughed at me, amused

“Nothing just…” i shook my head, a grin plastered on my face. “You look very pretty thats all”

his eyes widened at the compliment, and his cheeks burned up as his smile faded and turned into a flustered smirk and looked down, regaining some confidence.

“….you too” he said softly, i tilted my head and pouted, it took a lot in him for him to say that, of course, he wasn’t the most confident person when it came to romance, but he always tried, because it was you. I kissed his knuckles gently and slipped back under the blanket, his head rested on my stomach and my hand once again began stroking his hair, his arms were tangled around my waist.

“Im always here for you Charlie, no matter what” i said, whispering, he had his eyes closed, he was surely asleep, but i still felt the need to say that. I knew he would know. I rested there a little bit, humming peacefully a bit more until he let out small snores, with his mouth slightly agape. I checked the time. 10:45. It was definitely time for me to go home, I didn’t tell my mum i was staying overnight and i didn’t want her to worry. I place a gentle kiss on his forehead, lingering slightly, but being careful to not wake him up, i slowly slipped out of bed, resting his head on a pillow, i stared at him for a little longer, then left.

He woke up a few hours later, panicking that he wasn’t in contact with you, that he didn’t feel your heartbeat, and didn’t hear your breathing.

“Ah Charlie, you’re finally awake dear-“

“Where’s y/n?” He cut off the nurse, looking around the room nervously, waiting for an answer from her.

“Who?” She asked with a confused smile, trying to be understanding

“Y/n, my…girlfriend” he said more softly, getting up hurriedly and going over to check outside

“Oh- Charlie- you shouldn’t go out! I think she left, i can have someone call her if you want?” The nurse stood in front of the door, and tried calm Charlie down. He wasn’t sure where you had went but he just knew he wanted you back, he realized how rude he was being to the doctor, so he calmed down a little and rubbed his eyes

“I just, i need her, i need y/n, please” he said, making his point with drastic hand gestures

“Ok, ok, I’ll have the receptionist call her darling, that sound good?” She asked, rubbing his shoulder

“Mhm” he nodded, not very sure of the nurse’s promise, he went back to his bed and patiently waited for you. He realized how that was the first time he had had a proper sleep since he got there, in your arms.

@iha8you

[birb--birb]

2, 3, 9, and 44 for Violet? <3 (hopefully that's not too much lol)

Ohohoh absolutely thank you for asking!🥰

2. Something about character creator that just couldn't quite capture Violet:

I wish there was more freedom to move and position scars/tattoos. And to have more than just one or two. Violet has the sword neck tattoo and I really would have liked to have been able to size the tattoo up and move it further down so the pomel starts at the hollow of their neck and the blade goes down to their sternum. Give us more body scar options!! Give me top surgery scars!!!! (Theres a good mod for them on nexus if anyones interested!)

I also had a bit of an annoying time finding a body and face structure I liked together. I wish all face presets were available on every body type, I liked a masc face preset in body 2 but wanted to use body 3. And like....the character creator is nice but JUST GIVE ME SLIDERS!!!! Body sliders, facial structures sliders, ear length sliders like !!!!! I want options!!!! Let me make an abomination of a character if I so choose😂😂

I used a mod for more tiefling horns bc I wanted horns that went further back along the head (its really funny seeing them clip through the bedroll during long rest animations lols). The base horns arent bad, again I wanted sliders so they could be the length/in the position I wanted.

3. Using illithid powers?

Oh yeah, I took full advantage of charm and psionic backlash during combat. I took concentrated blast and used it...maybe once? It was kinda lackluster to me.

Survival instinct (the ability you get for helping omeluum) and favourable beginnings got me out of a couple of rough spots, so i really liked those:)

9. Fave member of the tiefling refugees? Is it the same as your Tavs?

Personally I *adoooore* Alfira (yes I was crushed when [redacted] happened during my durge run). I defs spent too much time fighting my mods to give Violet musical proficiency so they could stand roof of the elfsong and play music with together🥰 Arabella and Roland both really grew on me, and of course best boi Dammon is always a fave!

Violets got a soft spot for Mol and Lia, theyre both so feisty! I headcannon Dammon and Violet being pals, Violets a Hexblade so I feel like they'd have some interesting weapon chats and Dammon is the only one who they trust to take care of their pact weapon when it needs repair. They respect Zevlor for having to make the hard calls, and thinks Alfira and her girlfriend are really sweet (theyd get drinks together 100%).

My choice of a question!

41: used to adventuring before events of the game?

Absolutely. Violet wasnt originally from Baulders Gate, they grew up a ways away in a place that was always in conflict with their neighbouring kingdom. As such, they were trained in a militia, they had fought before and were fairly competent in taking care of themselves on the battlefield. But one day everything went wrong, their home fell, and they found themselves close to death on the battlefield, weapon broken and missing an eye. They made their pact that day, a shadowy sword being the only thing to save them from oncoming monsters and soldiers.

Once recovered, they began traveling, searching for items or people their patron required. This is what lead them to Baulders Gate. They'd join with other bands of travelers and mercs every now and then, but was very much used to roughing it on their own. Having such a lively camp was a big change for Violet, it took a while for them to trust others to take watch overnight and they still fight Gale over cooking rights some nights (tho they will admit, hes a much better cook than they are).

[william-s-churros]

painful definitive edition thoughts from one playthrough lol

i mean its lisa, so am i gonna complain that much? the campfire conversations are a nice touch, but they're so sporadic and im not sure how to trigger them so i wasted a lot of time and resources trying to get the damn things to happen. as for the rest of the game tho, it really is pretty much exactly the same, just with an added layer of frustration to get bonus content thats like. fine i guess. the terry convo is obviously very charming and sweet but its kinda like i feel like the trailer/promo material kinda overpromised this feature lmfao

SPEAKING of overpromising... i was really hoping for more enemies lmfao.... area 3 has always felt extremely unbalanced to me and i was kinda hoping like. something would be done about that, but it wasnt, so whatever. i do feel like im the promo stuff it was stated there would be more battles but perhaps i just misunderstood?

anyways, its lisa! obviously i had fun playing it. i was just kind of hoping it would be like... harder.... or like maybe had an even harder mode than pain mode... outside of savescumming to bring back guys who died in battle and falling off a cliff once, i think i only game overed during battle once? i dont give brad joy and i usually play one-armed, tho i have beaten it armless and even then i still didnt struggle as much as i hoped i would... oh how i miss the highs of being killed by the mens hair club like 5 times before getting into the proper groove of things and the rush of finally defeating them... i guess this is just what happens when youve played a video game like 20 times.... you git gud as they say. sometimes i really appreciate the ability to stunlock (for ex, when fighting an enemy with permadeath moves lol) but sometimes being able to do that really detracts from the challenge ykwim?

who knows, tho. theres probably some kind of fanmod for masochists like me out there and maybe i should look for it. most of the ones i have seen as qol mods that make painmode easier which is basically the opposite of what i want lmfao.

anyways, all in all-- its lisa! most of the character information i got from campfire conversations is extremely compatible with my own headcanons already too so lmao. its validating i suppose! but its kind of on me i think for hyping it up in my own head. i am curious to see what becomes of this fandom as more people play this game this way.

ive heard theres a secret ending if you get all the companions that im gonna try for next. maybe its all worth it... we'll see.

also i still gotta play joyful! i do wonder if a lot of the changes made were to joyful bc that game felt like such an afterthought in many ways lmfao. we'll see igss! im probs gonna keep replaying these games forever because i love them, but yeah. i guess i was expecting more lmfao. but i still liked it! and im excited to try and get other things, but i do sort of feel like like easter-eggy character interactions is cheap in terms of replay value for me anyway, maybe id feel differently if i were still at that stage with the game that i found the battles really challenging and stuff, idk, lmfao

OH EDIT; super appreciated the toning down if not outright omission of the antiblackness in the original game, altho the american indian stuff was still pretty stereotypes, tho im not entirely sure what you could do abt that besides a complete overhaul of the blood moon area lol

[yennens]

ALL RIGHT BAYBEEE!!! time for 6-DLC!!!!!! (in its entirety!)

phoenix, edgeworth, maya and larry. it cannot be more fanservice-y

‘and since when did you become the head of this office, daddy? i mean, who exactly does all the cleaning, accounting and scheduling around here, huh?’ THE ACCOUNTING???? THE CLEANING??? phoenix you need to be locked up

i knew it was a wedding but i didn’t know it was LARRY’S WEDDING???

oh okay it isn’t larry’s wedding. thats what i thought

SHE’S 21….. LAAARRRYYYY

okay getting married at 21 is crazy. like IM 21

he’s a childrens book author?? lol

FRANZY’S WHIPPITY WHIP TRIP………..

‘no psychelocks’ i find it cute that after all these years he still uses it… so good

shes a TIME TRAVELLER… good grief

aaanndd the cops are at our door. fawk.

YAY EMA!

‘i guess the only person cut out to be trucy’s assistent is apollo’ ueue

ellen has such a fun haircut here omg

OH GOD THE WATERWORKS

god her breakdown is going to be really annoying and often i can already tell

why does she keep cleaning???

HOOOLYYY SHIT THE MOORING DECK… i remember the dialogue from this…

larry called some back up for me…. it cant be…

RED SPORTS CAR

I TRUST YOUVE BEEN WELL WRIGHT…

its. ITS MAYA???? i didnt know she could drive what the fuck😭

i still cant get over her lack of new… anything. hair. personality. jokes. they really sidelined her

AND THERES EDGEWORTH!

girl… what the hell maya…

A WEIRD LOOKING CLOCK IS THE MURDER WEAPON. . . is this a fan case or something

pegacow what the… it looks cute

theres TWO BULLS???????????????????? no… IT COULD NOT BE………….. MARRIAGE BETWEEN TWOOOO MEEENNNNNN??????????????????

oooh THATS sorin? woah. he looks like an agamalgimation of every single fire emblem character that made it into smash

is he mute??

oh. he CAN talk he just doesn’t want to talk to us

not to drop stereotypes. but this guy looks and sounds like hes got a fair bit of tism

oh. okay he’s just traumatised. WELP!

why… lol. maya seems so BIG in this screen thats so funny

already trial??? damn okay????

DUDE what is their marriage????? sorin shows up, asks for something, other than that doesn’t acknowledge her, leaves

oh wait ! he comes back. quite a romantic bar from him

i hope the insane amount of fanservice doesn’t stand in the way of this trial being fun… being up against edgeworth with maya next to you…. so huge

ahh the judge invites us all for dinner!!!! he too is reminiscing, how sweet :D

edgeworth can’t be seen…. cavorting…. with his enemies. okay dude.

OH BUT IF ITS AFTER THE TRIAL ITS FINE? hypocrite

WHY DOES HE INSIST ON PUTTING HIS GLASSES IN HIS POCKET BRO???

god. i forgot how much i hate edgeworth’s new objection. goodbye bliss

i don't think i've ever played this badly in a court section in my life. holy shit.

gooooooddd grief i’m doing awful

OKAY. GETTING INTO THE GROOVE NOW!!!

i…. lol. why do the reception twice to convince her it’s time travel? pierce explained it but… i still do not understand at all

INSUFFICIENT EVIDENCE! BACK TO INVESTIVATING

ooo new area to look at…

this air ship is so cool looking. all the gears, steampunk ass design. big fan

this candelabra is so important and its so easy to miss. they kind of overhauled the way investigstion works to prevent you not knowing what to do for an hour at some point, which is why i knew not to leave, but otherwise i wouldn’t have clicked on that candelabra

and theres ALSO blood there… hmmmmmm

SORIN the most uncooperstive guy on earth.

HES???? BLEEDING OUT??? awkward

ok now i know we shouldnt look in his notebook, but i get the feeling that if i say ‘no we shouldn’t look’ maya is still going to convince phoenix.

‘wow this one specific thing happened to him that traumatised him!!!’ if it isnt that damn accident we keep finding out more about i’m eating the sd card this game is on

AND WE DROPPED HIS NOTEBOOK IN HIS BLOOD. awkward

heeeyyyy pierce! here’s sorin’s notebook… yeah. uh. the dried up thicker pages? yeah uh. sorry that’s my own strawberry jam i spread out across both pages. i thought it was bread.

‘you shouldn’t ask me about things you already know’ well yes i KNOW that you did the reception twice but i still dont get why…. bruv…

oooohhh psyche locks…

CLEAR IN ONE GO NO MISTAKES. PUT ME OUT OF TRIAL AND INTO THE MAGATAMA

urm. so sorin was there, at the place and time of the murder? i don’t think sorin did it, i think he’s a massive red herring here. hmm

I KNEW THE WHEEL WOULD HE IMPORTANT!

ema put it back wrong!!!!!!! the blood was on the inside…

poor sorin… notebook sure is important to him. that sprite looking for it was the most emotional ive seen him throughout this case

phoooooooo is… pierce selena’s fiance…? it could make sense.

OH MY GOD SELENA HAS A THING ON HER PHOTO THAT PIERCE JUST HAS…. okay yeah

i really really hate the trucy/athena dynamic in this case. it was fun at the beginning but now it’s long ceased being entertaining. STOOOP! let athena be more than cardboard????

WHY ARE WE NOT GOING TO THE VISTA DECK?? didn’t pierce say the murder was there??????

ok well trial i guess!

pwooaoahh i hate the breakdown sprite every five seconds holy shit. i thought she’d be fun but this sprite is really annoying me

lol edgeworth reading us like a book and telling that we’re accusing sorin (which is true) makes me even more sure that he didn’t do it

is this… YEAAHHH we are arguing the power of love baby!!!!!!!!!

sorry edgeworth. i too would be so angry at the opposing counsel if he pulled this

OOOHHH i love the pen clicking sprite

AHHHH he stabbed himself with it lol

WAIT ITS A MECHANICAL PENCIL??? okay that makes him hot

wait i see now… it gets rid of the lead and then begins anew. such a fun sprite

insane reasoning going on btw. if you had to argue this in a real court of law???

why did we spend time on all of that… if it isn’t true???? sorin my god

WAAIITTT HE SAID KNIFE!!!! ITS NOT A KNIFE!!!!! oohhh i feel so smart for reading

waitwaitwait we’re accusing him of having a memory disorder??? what the fuck phoenix i didn’t get the memo. could genuinely flip the trial, if everything sorin has said was spoonfed by pierce

wooaaa its true…. thats crazy. 50 first dates ass injury

ELLEEENNNNNNNN STOOOPPPP she doesn’t want sorin convicted but brooo i swear

ooh. oh god he was driving. THATS rough

but can we be sure he wrote all that… what if fuckin pierce writes down all kinds of shit in there and messed him up

sorin is so meticulous

HANDWRITING ANALYSIS WHO UP??!!!!!!

poor sorin man

WAIT IS IT A PUN ON SOARING???? fuck this game bro

FUCKING MEMENTOS ASS PLOTLINE

i think edgeworth sucks in this case. in 2-4 (last time they were up against each other in a game that didn’t haul ass (dual destinies)) they were so much different with each other. searching for the truth!!! and now edgeworth is all ‘hah! it seems that calling this witness, who’s shining a new light on this case, is detrimental for your case!!!’ well edgeworth i thougjt we were looking for the truth and not a perfect guilty verdict!! fuck you

yeees… pierce was her fiance. we are getting this guy’s ass

finally edgeworth seems to be into our corner

‘dead men tell no tales’ are you serious right now phoenix. you are standing next to the master of the khurain channeling technique??????

all right edgeworth!

‘i have no interest in “victory”. all i care about is the truth.’ welcome back miles edgworth

THE TIMEKEEPER IS A FUCKING CLOOOCCKKK MY GOD

aahhhh thats sweet! good for them :D

NOT! GUILTY! BAYBE!

hhaaaaahhhhh ‘i hope they invite edgeworth’ okay dude he’s your +1

AND THERES THAT CUTSCENE!!!

end…

wow. insane. i cant believe its joever. schover, id you will.

there are two mini dlc cases apparently but i dont think i care enough to play them

KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE PRICE!!!!

finally. after. five years. we did it reddit

[presidentkamala]

Just more chat

Said goodbye to the cat i was babysitting yday. I miss having a pet!! A Little Guy!! She was sooo sweet even though she was a little black himalayan and resembled a feather duster or maybe a piece of lint. Theres just something about having a slightly annoying nonhuman roommate around to prod you when you havent moved in a while to get you out of an interminable doomscroll sesh. Apt is cleaner now than it has been in months!! Im actually almost done cleaning out my wardrobe! I started sleeping in my bed again as opposed to exclusively couchsleeping!

Work is annoying but im actually getting better about not ruminating (despite my posting thru it here LMAO) too much outside of work.

Anyway, my friend who was picking her up was out of town because her 97 yr old grandpa (who is still trying to live independently on his farm in upstate NY) had a bad fall and is also deaf in a way where he only hears males (lol) and is also in some stage of prostate cancer so they went up to visit and to give her aunt and uncle a break from looking after him (actually i think her aunt is in the middle of a huge major depressive episode but they are the type of extremely christian where that's not a valid reason not to care for your high needs children and pets and farm animals and now your literally-deaf-to-women father). Well they havent told him but he's coming to live with my friend's parents in like 2 weeks and they've already had to make alterations to the home for accessibility, find homecare, etc, and there's no way grandpa is gonna go quietly so they're basically kidnapping him from what he thinks is a very independent successful life on his farm.

When she left i had to leg it to my parents' house because MY aunt is visiting and MY grandma lives with HER for now - and it sounds like my grandma's dementia has really progressed. As my aunt put it, "the qualities you love about them, their empathy and their thoughtfulness, all go away and what's left is stubborness, sulleness, and anger" and its like. Jesus Christ elder care sounds like a horror movie from both the elder and the caregiver. My aunt was straight up like "i think in response to how difficult it is, my empathy has also gone down" and its like YES of COURSE it would!!! And for my grandma shes literally so confused and has zero control over anything in her life, and for my friend's grandpa he is about to be taken away from everything he knows without any agency - but if they were within their full faculties they would understand and both of them made statements supporting this type of action like 5 to 10 years ago!!!

Well i was rewatching severance and its like. Yeah. Wow. What if you woke up and someone showed you a piece of paper you allegedly signed attesting to your care but you don't remember any of that and you don't know whats going on and all these people in your family who supposedly love you keep taking things from you and you don't understand why.

[fairytaehl]

AH omg thank you SOOO much for this, this was so nice to wake up to~

i locked the reblogs for now because i cant finish it until i get out of tumblr image upload limit jail. :-(

i didnt read the novel at all. im not really a novel reader, esp as far as dramas go, and typically with book to tv translations theres always things that change, so i dont like to set myself up for disappointment LOL.

i was being a bit facetious when i asked "why are you a demon catcher" because yeah, of course its for yao, but, gaaaaahhhh with all that we knew of him at that moment, it came off as him doing it for selfish reasons (as in just to protect yao.) we learn in the episodes following (end of ep 5, and even the beginning when the kids bump into him and he dusts off the kid's shoulder or whatever, in the bamboo forest, etc.) that hes definitely very caring, just not openly.

thats crazy how much context we miss out on from the novel. i think its obvious that he doesnt want yao to be in danger, but we dont know what theyve been through in past trials that makes it hard to have anything to compare it to during their argument here.

they dont show miaomiaos nightmares in the drama, only when she has a memory of how the original novel goes. she really repeatedly shows off omnipotence without thinking about it, which does fit how i see her character. i mean, to miaomiao, this is like roleplaying. she doesnt take it seriously for another several episodes (around ep 12? before they go to the imperial capital. even during ep 9 under the night sky with ziqi shes only just starting to entertain the idea of caring about everyone like real people.)

you put what i was thinking into words, i couldnt think of it at the time; hes touch-starved! so yes, her holding his hand, and even when she hugged him after being scared of the dust demons, he hesitates cause he isnt doing that on the daily at ALL. it like hard resets his brain, i fucking love seeing it, cause it happens a LOT the next few episodes (hehehehehe i cant wait to write them.)

i think the hand holding/love confession is also one of my favorite scenes!!! im also a big fan of ep 8 when he, for some stupid (affectionate) reason, goes to catch the TINIEST water droplet off her hair, and shes like "huh? wait... i can do something REALLY cute right now" and puts her cheek in his hand, and god bless the fucking directors/editors, you can HEAR ziqi take in a breath/gasp.

of course, id have to read the novel to understand the other view, but i enjoyed the order they had of when they played Go following everything, as it still showed his suspicion, because as he said, the pieces were polished, so she should know how to play, and... a thought just came to me, which ill probably reiterate in my own post of ep 6, but because hes so curious about this other world (and surely he feels some sort of connection to it maybe? in a way), is he entertaining the possibility of some sort of universe travel? demon or otherwise? i dont know, i just considered that right now, as it being a reason for why he doesnt press so hard about certain matters.

but that does sound really sweet in the novel to hear his pov, especially in regards to how everything he does revolves around his sister, but at that one moment with miaomiao, it didnt. it would definitely make the flow perhaps a bit better and more understandable, though it was still comprehensible the way they did it, i think. im also a bit partial because i like how miaomiao says "physical affection can increase the percentage right?" and chooses flicking his forehead as the option? shes insane for that, and its hilarious, and then goes on to say how shes also never dated before, which adds up. i have much to say about it, which ill write in my dedicated ep 6 post LOL.

i kind of wish the heart lake thing was a little bit more... explained? it doesnt seem to really have a big affect on anything but it is a bit jarring when it comes up and we're just supposed to assume whats going on.

and ive been watching behind the scenes stuff, and i do think esther had a lot of comments to make about certain things. ive not gone through much of it, and translation is either crappy or non-existent, but based off the bits ive seen that are translated, she was very open with adjusting certain things.

~~~

he absolutely wanted to push it off as long as possible, i dont know, maybe to find some sort of way to where she wouldnt have to do that. or that he could sacrifice himself for her. which, is nuts, considering he knows that yao has the RW inside her... i dont think he was even trying to find an option to get it out, which is what makes it even more puzzling.

YES i 1000000% agree with all you said about guo xiu. when i first watched it i was like :O because youre robbing these people of their lives. thats so horrible. i understand he feels he has his reasons but he really kept it going for a LONG time...

~~~

thank you again !!! i loved reading your thoughts and viewpoint! its so nice to have others to talk about this with!

Comments to lgief rewatch ep. 4

@fairytaehl

I wrote my comments as a post so I can format it for easier readability, and the reblog was locked for your post.

"which is nuts because why the fuck are you a demon catcher? "

He's a demon hunter because this is what Mu Yao wants. The drama hand-waves away the hardship and pain that comes with being a demon hunter.

In the novel, its clear that he doesn't want Mu Yao to be in a profession where she gets hurt and might die, but this is what she wants to do, so he can only support her despite the physical cost. He is often badly injured and comes close to dying in order to save strangers because he doesn't want to disappoint Mu Yao. It's Miaomiao that says while she finds it admirable that Mu Yao and Liu Fuyi are altruistic saviors, it's fine that he doesn't want to sacrifice himself to save strangers. He's not wrong for feeling that way. That she also feels this way.

"i know hes in the wrong. i know it was his fault and he had bad intentions, and his words in response to her were also not very kind. but… placating her and telling her he doesn't like arguing with her, that sister knows best, just because he cant deal with hearing her say these hurtful things anymore, and he cant handle it if his sister has such a negative view of him, all while hes trying to smile. its genuinely hurting him internally, as we see in a moment. "if you think it was me, then it was me." it was basically you, and it makes me frustrated to see him so upset over his own doing. i feel bad but i dont. hes trying so hard not to cry, but goddammit, you had this coming you bastard."

I love how you phrase it! I thought their conversation was so, so good. That Mu Yao is being too harsh, but Mu Sheng did do something wrong, and they both know it. Their complicated, messy relationship is so interesting, and I wish we saw more of it.

"crushing the flower in front of her and smirking as he does so… sir. please have mercy. a silent "this is what i do to fresh, pretty flowers" a.k.a. Her."

"crossing your arms across your chest is a physical tell for defensiveness and closing off yourself to the conversation~"

Your observation skills are so good! You catch so many little details. I love all the body gestures and movements that Esther and Ding Yuxi do in the drama. I wonder how much was improvised vs part of the script.

"i wont lie, this whole bit about how she knows about the ledger and letting it slide confused me"

Agree, and I thought it was weird he doesn't ask her why she wants to burn the Mu's ancestral map. 

In the novel, it's because she read the original work and she has nightmares about it after she transmigrates (I don't think this is shown in the drama), so she knows what he's going to do. BUT, she doesn't directly confront him about it. Unlike in the drama, she's very cautious and tries her best to not reveal any information that Lin Yu wouldn't know in front of Mu Sheng.

"ok, i need to ask, anyone understand these heart lake things?"

My guess is they're supposed to visually reflect the change in his emotional state. For example, in ep 18's script.

"△ The lotus in Mu Sheng’s heart lake suddenly turned completely black, leaving only half of the petals still red.

Demonized Mu Sheng: (Chaotic electronic music) I want... to kill him."

"the one where she throws him off entirely by acting all obsessed had him pause as to why she was going to such lengths to lie, and what her goal was. yes, he wanted to get her out because he doesnt like her at all, but that was so nefarious-seeming that he just… walked away. also, it was weird."

On one hand, I thought that scene was hilarious. Its my favorite scene in the drama, and I'm entertained enough to not think too deeply about it. This scene doesn't exist in the novel, but there are ones where he reacts similar-ish if you want an explanation.

In the novel, she constantly seeks him out to increase his favorability % and shows concern and for one reason or another will end up hugging him, and this leads to him letting her off each time. It's easy to see that he's touch-starved and longs for affection. Once he likes her even just as a friend, he can easily be bribed to look the other way with hugs or agree to her requests.

On the other hand, I think it would make way more sense if the drama followed the novel's scene order and had them playing 5-in-a-row games all night early on, and we heard his thoughts so the audience knows why this marks a shift in how he views Miaomiao.

How this is the first time he's learning something that's not for Mu Yao's interests, how he's been pretending to be bad at Go (and his skills as a demon hunter) to get Mu Yao's attention, etc. Its easy to see that he and Mu Yao haven't outgrown their relationship dynamic from their childhood, which was fine then, but has become an unhealthy codependency as adults.

If that happened before Miaomiao's fake confession scene, his response to it would feel less weird.

---

Some random thoughts after reading your post. We eventually find out that Mu Sheng has always known that the Resentful Woman is hiding inside Mu Yao, so what was his long-term plan? Instead of letting her know so they can work together to get rid of the Resentful Woman, he's deciding that he knows what's best for her. And, this isn't a problem that can go away if he hides it. The Resentful Woman will only grow stronger and be harder to defeat. So frustrating.

This is like Guo Xiu unilaterally making the decision to tamper with the villagers' memories. He's playing god, and there's no consequences to him other than his guilt. The script's narrative pushes the idea that this is for their own good and he makes up it up to them with his building talisman, but all he's really done is rob them of seven years. It's extra bad because the median lifespan for people in ancient times is low.

These villagers can't emotionally move on. In practical matters, this is an ancient world, and it would be harder for women if their husbands die and they don't remarry. The author set the novel to take place in a fantasy version of the Tang Dynasty, where it was fine for women to remarry. Had Guo Xiu been honest with them or just done nothing so they know people are disappearing, they could have chosen to move away from this dangerous place.

Maybe, some villagers would choose to throw their lives away to look for their loved ones, but that's their choice.

---

Your recap and the timing of your screenshots for their expressions are so good, especially Mu Yao and Mu Sheng's conversations at the beginning of the episode!

[stonyponyofficial]

aw sweet! see what it says on the calendar?summer has sprung, it seems! some might say its time to show u sillies some songs for the season!

spotify link :3 :: yt link :3

full list + notes under the cut ^w^

Aluralura - Sweet Trip: this somg is soooooo fucking smooth. and cool. using the strictest definition of cool i can. perhaps cooler than cool. dk what ud even call that but this is it. sounds like i should be cruisin down the information highway to this straight up. feels like im being hit with a million little lightning bolts in. a good way? that doesnt sound good but it is. ull get it just listen pls just li

Babe of the Abyss - Girls Rituals: UGH devi.. i was so sad when this was pulled from streaming for a bit like some of the other singles from the upcoming girls rituals, but thankfully it did return :3 unlike the rest of those songs :/ eh this one is good enough to make up for it! so glittery and clicky and kinda unlike a lot of other songs devis done but it's v unique like that :3 the cover is interesting to me too bc it looks ai generated and it reminds me of a video devi made explaining her songwriting process a bit and after setting an arpeggiater (dk if i spelled that right lmao) to random she said she likes the collaboration between her and her computer and letting the computer decide some things like that :3 idk just a neat little factoid for ya

BALD! - JPEGMAFIA: was gonna put one of the tracks off scaring the hoes in this spot but, after deciding to go through peggys solo stuff a bit i liked this one even more than those ones :3 he has a very interesting and wide ranging sound tho so im really excitied to listen to more. uhh nothing else to say really. juts good song 👍

Cops and robbers - underscores: new underscores era hello anyone rockin wit it???? ME im rocking with jt thank u very much!! that one song count of three (you can eat $#@!), which ive heard is very good :3, was the end of the fishmonger era for them, where the "thing" was apparently that underscores wanted guitar on each track. still trying to find The thing about this eras sound, and maybe its the deeming it "the Wallsocket era", but to me everything just feels very buzzy, very electrically alive idk. like theres just this CRT/fluorescent light hum that backs the bass at the beginning. and the middle section just sounds like im listening to a fucking tesla coil make a pop song. shit Rocks. and Fucks. i give this one the Makes Violet Sing And Dance Around In Her Room Alone award this season, which is something i will absolutely be doing from now on and will not forget for the fall hehe :3

Dariacore Song Tutorial - leroy/Jane Remover: wait i thought there was YEAH there was dariacore on the last one, but as ive seen it so elegantly explained, this is a jane song more than a dariacore song. i mean obviously sonically right, no memey hyperpop mash up font, just some loud ass guitars n drums, but its good!!! jane literally incapable of missing.

Dress Down - Kaoru Akimoto: one of my many music moments recently has been getting into city pop more! i kiiinda only know the hits, of which this is definitely one of them, but ive seen my way around a bit B) (my cool sunglasses guy do not steal.) and even after my journey round the city.. pop, this is still one of my faves.

FELL - Varg^2™️ (im toolazy to make it superscript sowwy) & Bladee: since i began my drain journey i thought id listened to most if not all of bladees stuff besides like really old stuff that actually isnt good. like, bladee isnt good, but u get used to it as the saying goes and u kinda get to see his artistic vision unfold as he releases new stuff. but old bladee really isnt good. anyway imagine my delight and splendor when i see theres another Varg^2TM, Bladee collab... besides ecco and the rest of drain gang varg is probably my favorite bladee collaborator. in fact i almost put SHINIE, another collab from them, on some spring songs but it didnt make the cut unfortch. glad i could find something new from them to dig into mm yummy bladee :3

!¡! find the answer ¡!¡ - six impala: holy FUCK i am listening to six impala!

光の中へ (hikari no naka e)- Kessoku Band: yeah yeah i know there was kessoku band on the last one BUT THEY MADE MORE SO I LISTENED TO IT. they have such good push and pull with their tunes. like the moments of silence/slowing down before going all out. the quick drum interjections to pick things back up again. like nijikas fuckin getting it!!!! actually i read something recently about the critical reception to kessoku band, the self titled album, that makes a similar point. they were saying that although the album is just good j-rock on its own, the strength of the individual instruments and the texture of the songs themselves embodies the characters in your mind. like i listened to the beginning a bit closer one time and heard the little shreds the guitar was giving at the top and it instantly made me think like "oh shit bocchis fucking tearing it up!" soooo good instantly one of my faves from them.

It Was A Good Day - Ice Cube: fuuuuuuck i cant fucking find it i wasngonna put it here bc its the reason i added it to my playlist and have been listening to it so mch recently but. i cant find it. it was a top text bottom text cat meme edit of this song, in the same vein as that one of death grips' hacker. a very good morning walk song btw, cuz even tho it would be very easy for that situation to feel trite, im like shit. mama cooked the breakfast with no hog! todays gonna be a good day. it usually isnt with where im heading on my morning walk but. eventually itll be a good day! and the iced cube told me that.

Les Os - The Unicorns: sooooo this song is extremely horny to me sorry. also very kinda toxic t4t core but thats juts meeeeeee :3... + the singers voice is very similar in register to mine when in singing so it makes it v easy to project who daid that.... uhh anywag in the ol violet amv machine (what i call my brain) i imagine the singer with the mic stand tilted back between their legs, perhaps a cheeky little leg wrap around like sexy singers tend to do, as they stare down from the stage into yuor eyes specifically. asking u directly, out of everyone. tell me bout ur love affairs.. tell me bout ur moral resignations... so then u meet after the show and [transmission lost]

LOU - whoTF (Folie & Forget Basement), Fraxiom: [transmission regained] and from the production stylings of new hyperpop ish duo whoTF comes another lyrical miracle from the mind and pen of fraxiom music!!! includes such bangers as "I’m blowing up your car/I see Mercedes boom/I’m off four drinks of alcohol/Pissing in the ladies room!" rhyming "you can watch a youtube video" with "get your fitted tutu biddie hoe" (LIKE?) and also the amazing outro from which i could just paste the whole thing but this part resonates especially "I need to become alive, in the morning, like a rooster!/Don't talk to me until I've had my coffee and foodstuffs"..."Estradiol, finasteride, adderall, and thc im juiced up!" making rooster rhyme with foodstuff and juiced up and also everything else in that part god. they dont call them fraxiom fucking music for nothing. um but also whoTF is v good, for one without frax that is still good listen to cigs up as well :3

Natural Disasters - Enon: love me a song with a strange guitar hook! ive heard this bands like top 2 songs (which include this one) bc it was just a night of spotify surfing, but those two songs are quite good. very boucy, good energy. makes me wanna do the bounce in place dance and flail my arms as i sing only the chorus and maybe try to approximate the sounds of the lyrics i dont know. sounds like a good time to me!

Overflow - Een Glish, Tyfty, Ben Glish: eek! so ai voiced songs specifically rap is very good to me. that family ties edit with spongebob and patrick is probably one of my favorite pieces of music. but this artist is v interesting to me :3 een glish is a vocaloid (? not sure if entirely correct but u get what im getting at) made from the google translate ladys voice. and its GOOD this one specifically is very catchy but she has bars too!!! check out rap game bob ross too, and also the remix with bars from SONIC HELLO? im giving this one the Sound of the Summer distinction bc not only is it a very summery jam, but it is the one im really telling u to check out if u get the chance. lots of good jams here.

Scatman - Scatman John (DJ Kadozer 2003 Remix): (why did i accidentally type out 'evil remix' at first?) sooooo i was having a bit of a scatman moment recently, as was documented in THIS other epic music post u should go check out if u havent already hihhii :3 tho she TOTALLY STOLE the one i was gonna do, Scatman's World, cuz everyone knows scatman right? skabadaba bweebopbopbadop bop? bopbop badop bop? yeah that one! but.... have u ever heard scatman. like this???? probably not... all im sayin... scat vocals/eurobeat foundation translated to this stabbing edm remix.. its quite good. good enough that the first few seconds alone get me to smile big like this :)

Shop - Toby Fox: songs to order a You. Pick. 2... to...... haha but seriously guys this ones just a really chill one :3 i can alwasy hear the you. pick. 2. part in the song bc theyre punctuated exactly the same way its kinda hell. im chillin. like usual. listenin to undertale musicand then how boutta You. Pick. 2. with some brawwwcolli cheddah. onsecond th... and then were done with that and back to the normal undertale song! like an angle in the knight.. or tiers in the reign...... here and then gone forever. truly, ephemeral..............................

The Flag Is Raised - Asian Glow: in case we couldn't drain enough this summer, asian glow put out this really neat interpretation of one of my faves off bladee and ecco2k's recent masterpiece, Crest. follows in the footsteps of many a bladee cover for me where the cover often plays over the actual song in my head. like i expect certain isntrumentation when i listen to the original that is only present in the cover but that just means theyre both good ! the guitars and the cymbals all over this make this version feel so shiny... aww and they use the little sigil ring from Crest on the cover for it too :"3

THE FLIES - Operation Sodasteal: think i mentioned this in the tags of a post that im sure uve all read before coming to class today, but ive been listening to a lot of these guys recently! just some furry emo nightcore rock that sounds plucked right out of 2007. the one vocalist, slaney(in)famous i think? im not confident which is which, has such a good voice for it too like they have all the good vocal inflections of ur typical lead pop punk vocalist, and i usually just end up singing the lyrics like them bc im just a silly little mirror huh?

This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody) - Talking Heads: ooobh i got plany off time....... yeag ive been getting down with this jam recently :3 another good morning walk tune. been trying to get into talking heads a bit more too bc every song i hear is soooo good. like i almost put the girl wants to be with the girls here bc of that OTHER meme edit i actually dont remember if it was lolcats again. it was specifically the "girls are getting into.. abstract analysis!" OHHBB it was a rose homestuck thing bc i memba her sitting at her lappytop :3 doin some fuckin abstract analysis i suppose..

Tin Man - feeble little horse: this is another single turned favorite-song-on-the-full-album-bc-i-took-too-long-making-this-list-again-lol. i love what theyre doin to these guitars maan theyre really fuckin em up in there..... also i love that this band just calls its music guitar music. its fuckin true.

Vicinity of Obscenity - System Of A Down: songs that have done irreversible damage to my psyche and syntax. i will bust out a banana banana banana terracotta banana terracotta terracotta pie when the fuck ever just let me know the time and place my man. it is such a vocal stim for me. this whole song is honestly. some of the silliest nu metal u can get ur paws on i checked (she is lying to u again tho it is quite silly with it 😳) + had to go with the 2008 youtube editor lyric video for the youtube playlist obviously.

ahmmmmm so thanks u all once again for enjoying some more songs with me (summer edition)!!!!! <3333 see yall...... in the fall.. with some more songs hehe (or perhaps for summer......2! who knowce :3 the summers still got plany off time as some might say)

[insertdisc5]

Hi!! I wanted to ask, in celebration of Deltarune CH. 2, do you have any updated thoughts and head canons about the game?? Like, y'know, similar to a previous ask about Kris in your Deltarune tag? Thanks!

thoughts on kris part 2 i guess???? (part 1 from ch1 here lol)

spoilers for deltarune like woah. this wont be kris focused just random thoughts on everything. thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk

not that many thoughts for this chapter tbh! EDIT LOL: this was a lie i have a lot of thoughts

-just in general i feel like the player isn't the only one controlling kris... like yes the player forced kris to do what happened in the snowgrave route but AT THE SAME TIME idk it feels like there's someone else too. just because of the terrifying voice i suppose. and also the jerky movement kris does every time they get their soul out? unless there's another reason for it... maybe getting your soul out means you walk weird lol

-BUT ALSO i feel like kris is 100% in control when they create fountains. idk it just makes sense kris would create them. to create another world, a better world, A WORLD WHERE THEIR BROTHER IS HERE PERHAPS? i do wonder why they get their soul out then though. i'm all for it sweetie! do whatever! i support you!

-(i am and will be playing deltarune with only kris' best interests in mind. i will not hurt anyone unless kris wants me to. dont worry my little meow meow im on your side! talk to me! no? okay ill stay under the sink its fine)

-speaking of asriel. SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER VACATION COLLEGE WHEN? SUMMER (starts crying) V-VACATION COLLEGE WHEN

-kris misses their brother so much it's so sad. if you make kris steal 5$ from asriel they take it "reluctantly"? talking to asriel online so often even alphys knows?? the google search?? GOING INTO ASRIEL'S GOOGLE SEARCH ROOM WITH THEIR EYES CLOSED BECAUSE THEY'RE CONVINCED THEY ALREADY KNOW WHATS IN THERE? THAT ONE IS LESS OF A MISSING THING BUT IM LIKE OH MY GOD

-the city walk with susie at the end makes it clear to me that kris really values susie's friendship... kris even sits with her if you spend long enough near the lake like aaaaah ;_;

-and even in snowgrave you spend your last acts with the final boss calling for your friends like YES there's a way bigger creepy aspect to this (kris as more of a Leader who Commands and commands their subjects to come) but still :'0 (and then noelle answers oh my god noelle im so sorry for the trauma)

-berdly. listen. listen. listen. liste

-berdly sucks but [berdly hurts his arm in the battle against queen if you don't save him because he doesnt want to hurt you] [berdly realizing smg's wrong in snowgrave and immediately taking steps to save noelle] berdly is my little crumb nugget. i will protect him.

-noelle. noelle. girlboss!

-like ooooh listen. hearing about the genocide path for undertale. made me go "that is SO COOL. i HAVE to experience it myself this is great. hehehe killing time" and like no regrets. i was fully enjoying the experience knowing i was an awful person. SNOWGRAVE THOUGH. i will never try this myself its too fucked up. casually grooming your childhood friend to murder people <3 and also acting like a weird stalker towards her <3 stockholm syndrome speedrun i will get all the info i can about this but i will never do this myself

-people remarking the kris/player>noelle relationship is similar to the relationship between player>chara in genocide path is like yes. chefs kiss. don't worry we just are making you stronger and everything will be fine "you made me kill my friend? and for what?" this is fine sweetie don't worry about it!!!!!!

-like the amount of details added to snowgrave, like if you equip noelle's watch she notices later? and her battle animations change as time goes on, she gets an ice shield and stops sighing in relief after battle? oh my god? oh my god.

-(berdly is not awake.) JUST KILL ME RIGHT HERE I HAVEN'T STOPPED THINKING ABOUT BERDLY NOT BEING AWAKE!!!!!

-also why didnt he turn into dust. so many possible reasons. is magic a thing in the normal world and perhaps no magic means no dust (theres graves). maybe he isnt dead. maybe hes braindead. maybe he'll come back. either way that boy is now in the closet big enough to put someone in

-also dess' name probably being december AND THATS WHY NOELLE LOST THE SPELLING BEE?!?!??! FUCK ME UP!!!!! JUST FUCK ME UP!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!

-also so many good pixel art this chapter. too many? i didnt need pixel art of cardboard noelle falling on the statue. like thank you but please. please it hurts my game artist brain.

-the expressions in this chapter were also top notch. all the unsettling noelle expressions like (i fall over face first)

-i threw away the ball of junk (which i already tried in ch1) and this time the game was like "ARE YOU SURE BC THIS IS A BAD IDEA" and kris felt bitter :'( (it deletes all your items in the dark world)

-i uh fucked up and skipped the susie+noelle scene bc listen last time ralsei mentionned seeing what susie is doing we missed some PRIMO LORE. turns out it just makes you skip the scene and you dont get anything new. welp

-speaking of ralsei well you know. he exists. but im stuck on him going "i just wonder what being ralsei-like even is...?" ralsei my dude there's so much i could say about this. do you feel like you can't be ralsei-like because you feel like you have to be asriel-like

-but also that makes no sense bc susie hasnt even mentioned ralsei looks like asriel. and i cant imagine asriel being so meek. so WHAT GIVES

-ralsei as kris’ “i wish i was a monster just like my bro and family and i’d look like asriel but with red horns [THE HALLOWEEN COSTUME] and my name would be something cool like ralsei instead of a boring human name like kris and im sweet and cute because thats how i act with asriel because ASRIEL MADE ME” theory because that would be cute.

-ASRIEL GOING TO THE CHURCH TO CONFESS HIS "SINS" WHEN "SINS" AREN'T A THING IN THE ANGEL BELIEF LIKE I KNOW THIS INTERACTION WAS TREATED AS A JOKE BUT WHAT THE FUCK ASRIEL?

-kris definitely has a connection with the big red door in the city, judging by what the kids say they probably went there... i feel like this place's dark world will be the Final Dungeon you KNOW some shit happened there. also the sounds you hear when you go there is the phone dark world call's sound slowed down? AND AFTER SNOWGRAVE APPARENTLY YOU CANT HEAR IT ANYMORE? HUWAH?

-speaking of songs the songs were all so good, My Castle Town rules, the berdly snowgrave music is stuck in my head, flashback is uwah wuahah, Until Next Time is so good, AND ALSO A FRIEND NOTICED THE DARK WORLD CITY THEME IS JUST tHE SONG 74 (MOST NOTICEABLE WITH THE SNOWGRAVE VERSION)?????? WHAT DOES IT MEAN????? it might be just "hey its just reuse" BUT MR FOX YOU KNOW WE'RE GONNA READ INTO THIS IS NOELLE THE ONE SINGING IDK BRO!!!!!!!!!!

-asgore dreemurr fired from the force what happun!!!!! game theory is that asgore is related to dess' death/disappearance but eh who knows

-you start the chapter at lvl2 and get to lvl3 after the final boss, a friend mentioned this is probably because we destroyed a world and im :0

-to go back to kris it's still so interesting to figure out who they are based on how they act/people mention them. like kris shaking the ferris wheel car? yeah makes sense i can imagine a pranking kid do this. kris' dance? yeah thats a little silly but i can buy it. doing cool anime poses? well i dunno this doesnt line up PERFECTLY but sure. BUT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN SNOWGRAVE... especially >proceed like that is such a weird thing that i can't imagine them doing, but i can't completely see the "player" doing either (compare with going to sans -which kris doesnt know- and going "SANS!" because of course the player would know sans), like THATS one of the reasons i feel like there's someone else in there. the weird robotic merciless actions. if im going super meta it feels like there'd be someone else like writing the choices into existence for us to pick you know? gaster probably? god i need to read more gaster theories i completely sidestepped the gaster shit bc i wasnt interested. anyway just spitballing

-(looks at big shot guy) please dont make him the next tumblr guy i beg you

-obligatory "queen was great" mention if only because this part made me laugh a little bit too hard

that was a lot. thank you for letting me talk

[raevenlywrites]

okay. i have some time to myself before work and i need to troubleshoot my headphones anyways so lets take another run at the season 1 finale

Infestation, attempt 2

full disclosure, i listened to this and most of ep 40 on the way home, and i do remember id made it this far in my first listen years ago. so I've had some time to organize my thoughts

The emotion in the recordings make more sense now. Knowing that hes coming to the tape recorder after a failed digital attempt, him knowing those statements are "real"- and all the stuff about him feeling "watched" lends credence to my idea that those statements take on a life of their own, literally trying to scare him into believing. It feels like the Fears feed on attention, on believe, and on acts of...worship? to their domain.

The Jon/Martin of it all is adorable. "...you didnt die here, did you?" "Did you think I was a ghost?" Adorable. (Also Martin's poetry oh my fucking god. Its getting harder and harder to be sus about Martin, emotionally.)

Elias remains absolutely sus.

Sasha is too brave for her own good.

Tim remains an idiot doofus.

The found footageness is deeply interesting. I very much appreciate that ep 40 follows up and fills in the gaps left by the piecemeal nature of ep 39. Its a wild departure from the slow, steady scares of the statement readings. As someone who primarily consumes stories through audio rather than video, I feel pretty qualified to comment on how deftly they use the medium. This isnt just an audiobook. It isnt just a radio drama. It honestly kind of reminds of homestuck in that respect, how its utilizing a (at the time) newish medium to tell a story that could only be told in this way. Every Fear having a signature sound. The subtle shift from Sasha to Not Sasha (close enough i could fool myself into thinking they were the same VA at times, at others being absolutely certain theyre not. chefs kiss). They way it makes you work, to have to keep a stringboard or consult with a community to figure it all out. The way it responds to reader feedback. Its such a beautiful and unique piece of art. It makes me wish I could get into Nightvale, bc it feels like these two were maybe somewhat in competition? I can see how both would be good homes for the HS fans left adrift towards its end.

Human Remains

Jons obsession with needing to keep watch does not bode well for him

"Did you not get the tapes?" "No there was a problem" and yet we got to hear them???? Now im confused about the conceit all over again XD Ive been kind of assuming a meta framework of "Listener is a grad student" or whatever, so now im like "...listener is....????"

I want to know what Elias knows. bc he clearly knows a lot.

"Martin found a body." Oh no, Sasha- "Tell me what happened to Gertrude Robinson." Oh, my bad. Tell me more.

So glad Tim's shitty jokes got his ass XD

"We're safe inside the archive" really curious about that. What slowed the worms? The archive entity (the Eye, i think? this is meta knowing through fandom osmosis)? The efforts of Elias and the Lucas Family and whatever the shit consiparcy is behind all this?

Worm Gateway is freaky as fuck. That is clearly a portal and its only a matter of what they were trying to let in and if that was always the goal of them gathering en masse or simply a shift of resources during the premature attack Jon triggered.

Yeah, that is NOT Sasha. I still applaud how vaguely close but definitely not the same they got. Very good at making reality doubty vibes - oh shit, Michael XD Forgot all about him. Oh, Jon, you almost noticed she's wrong!!! *sobs*

Oh, Martin. You dear sweet kicked puppy man. Well done for bringing him to life, Alex Newall.

ugh, i wish i had the kind of patience to track down which case files were taken, but i super dont. feel free to tell me if you know

-

So that's season 1! I did skip a few eps (vampire hunter, the piper, lost johns cave, schwartzwald) so if theres something vital in them you think ive missed, let me know! i did listen to them all first go around, but as weve seen my memory is garbo XD

Time for today's Magnus Archives listen! Well start with Ep 34: Anatomy Class, and continue with eps 35: Old Passages, 36: Taken Ill, 37 Burnt Offering, 38: Lost and Found, 39: Infestation and 40: Human Remains, finishing up season 1!

im beginning to suspect I made it all the way through season 1 on my first listening attempt, bc this all still feels familiar XD (eta: yup, defo made it through season 1 the first time)

Anatomy Class

Yay! Another guest!

im sorry but thats all i can think of when i hear tooth apple XD

This scare reminds me of Not Graham, for some reason. I know it wasnt a case of identical dopplegangers, but it still feels related. No real evidence, just vibes.

Old Passages

Leitner ep! Leitner ep!!!

-

Oh boy! this episode has everything: Leitner, Jared Key, that one architect guy, a jump scare, Squirmies, and Breackon and Hope! The tension is ramping up and im getting excited for the show down :D

Taken Ill

Oooh i dont remember this one at all - except for the bit at the end with the deliveries. Having a garbo memory is fun; some of this feels new, some of this i remember vividly, most I dont recall until were partway through

Burnt Offering

Yay its Martin again!

-

Man, this one was weird. just weird

Lost and Found

Hey, its Selasa (sp lol) from Piecemeal!

-

Eek! Another jumpscare. Also I cant believe Sasha went in there. Not enough money in the world lol

Infestation

im assuming this is a part 2, so to speak. just in keeping with the found footage of it all- oh! no. hes being... thorough and a little obsessive XD