#is just the cruelest fucking lyric

[9thbutterfly]

.

[southerngothicaf]

NOT HER SENDING ME "MY LIFE WOULD SUCK WITHOUT YOU" BY KELLY CLARKSON

[anassemblageofpassions]

Why am I just not realizing…Elphabas been waiting to meet the Wizard since birth… that’s her father…stephen Schwartz you dramatic ironic motherfucker you’re the cruelest lyricist alive . The unbridled hope of Elphaba in the Wizard and I while every lyric spits otherwise…so happy I could melt… a celebration throughout oz that’s all to do with me… fuck you stephen

[piratefalls]

i don't have a snarky opening line this week. have fic instead.

masterlist.

(make me) misbehave by r_holland

Alex Claremont-Diaz has done it again. The Texas-born singer-songwriter released his fourth studio album second skin Thursday at midnight. Full of Claremont-Diaz’s signature lyricism, critics are praising the album for the cohesive image it paints. second skin is the result of a young writer at the top of his game, and every lyric depicts for the listener a picture of a sun-drenched secret romance. Fans are clamoring to be the first to uncover the mystery girl at the center of it all, although Claremont-Diaz remains tight-lipped on the subject… -- Or: Alex Claremont-Diaz is a singer-songwriter rising up in the music industry. Henry Fox is the shining star of an acting empire. This is a love story.

NFWMB by cricketnationrise

5 Times Alex Fights Customer Service for Henry + 1 Time He Doesn't Have To

falling in love (in the cruelest way) by coffeecatsme

“Alex?” The name makes Alex stop halfway to the register and look back. Henry is standing in the same spot, shifting from foot to foot, before he juts his chin out. He meets Alex’s eyes. “Where are you traveling to?” Or, Alex picks up a stranger on a road trip, only to realize too late he's the missing Prince of Wales.

We've Got To Stop Meeting like This by everwitch

Alex books an Airbnb studio with a shared bathroom. The other studio is occupied by a man with lush pink lips and impressive personal hygiene — really, he’s super diligent about lathering and rinsing. Alex would know, seeing as the lock to the bathroom is seriously unreliable. Or: the Airbnb romp you didn’t know you needed.

quad shot americano by saintlynomenclature

Like always, Henry’s made it perfectly—the espresso is rich, decidedly not burnt, and the cinnamon tastes like it’s been infused rather than sprinkled in. “How the fuck do you do this?” Alex demands, taking another sip as Henry laughs at him. “If I tell you, you won’t come back.” Henry smiles, leaning back in his seat and crossing his arms over his chest. Alex lets his eyes follow the line of Henry’s shoulders, falling down to the veins in his forearms after the ends of his bunched-up sleeves. The ring on Henry’s left pinky doesn’t reflect in the lowlight of the back corner—without the sun glinting off of it, Alex can finally see that the surface of it is engraved. “If you think coffee's the only thing keeping me around, sweetheart, then I need to try harder.” The blush coats Henry’s cheeks again. He dips his head bashfully, eyes skating away from Alex’s face. “Whatever will I do with you?” he murmurs under his breath.

- Or, Alex spends an exorbitant amount of money on coffee.

Not So Silent Night by inexplicablymine

Sure, Alex can admit in the deepest recesses of his mind, at two in the morning, when the Liszt is playing forlornly like some kind of bugle call for grief, that whoever the fuck lives next to him is on another level with the keys. Or Alex has no idea who his piano playing neighbor is, but Alex knows one thing for certain… This means war.

Airplane Mode by clottedcreamfudge

Getting into an argument with someone in the airport lounge had probably been a mistake, in hindsight; Alex knows this. But with so many fucking delays and the fact that the signal on his phone is currently making it about as useful as two paper cups joined by a piece of string, he’s kind of on-edge. It’s not entirely his fault that he snaps. Attractive people with perfect hair who take the last almond croissant before Alex can get to it probably just need to understand this. Alex is at the end of his tether, and he will not be swayed by, “Well, I was here first,” in a British accent so smooth it could butter bread.

something more, something right by rizcriz

Alex blinks at him, seemingly entirely unimpressed. “So, you’re just going to pretend we’re not in love with each other?” 

here the whole time by HypnosTheory

Alex frowns, massaging Henry’s scalp. “It feels like you’re getting headaches more often babe. Anything wrong?” “It’s nothing,” Henry says, melting under Alex’s fingers on his scalp. “My suppressants are just killing my head. Think I’ve been taking them too long, I probably need a break soon.” Alex hums thoughtfully. “Or you could get off them for good.” -- Married and bonded, Henry and Alex decide it's about time to get off suppressants and start enjoying their bond fully.

Of Who I Am (Golden) by MayQueen517

There's magic and Henry is hiding something. Alex is determined to figure it out at all costs.

Dependence is a Childhood Illness by aubsoluteaudacity

As he stands by the counter and waits for the kettle to boil, Henry goes over his illness management tactics in his head. Drink lots of tea and water. Take more medication whenever he reasonably can. Never, ever, let anyone see how sick he is. He has been following this mantra since his late teens. Royalty isn’t allowed to miss an event because of a cold. It simply isn’t done to stay in bed when there are hands to press and ribbons to cut.

pictures of you (pictures of me) by yeolocity

alex keeps polaroids.

If You Love Something by allmylovesatonce

Alex calls Henry to tell him a funny incident from his day. When a miscommunication sends them both reeling, both of them are questioning if the other is wanting to end their relationship. Their friends take things upon themselves to get them to see eye to eye.

An Amateur's Guide to Piping That Cream and Beating That Meat by firenati0n

Alex invites Henry to his Extremely Specific and Ethnic Friendsgiving dinner, issuing a stern warning—no beige foods and no colonizer behavior. So basically, Henry's screwed. In an effort to find the perfect recipe, Henry stumbles upon a popular TikTok chef who thirst traps from the neck down and flusters Henry to his core. But his food is banging, along with the bod. A recipe for feral disaster. Or, Alex is an anonymous thirst-trapping chef on TikTok. Henry is an amateur cook who needs a recipe for Friendsgiving. Alex knows Henry's watching. Henry doesn't know it's Alex. Shenanigans ensue.

it's midnight in Texas by viciouslyqueer

When Henry mentions a charity polo match in Connecticut, Alex doesn’t think much of it. When Henry asks him on a date and puts him on a plane to Paris, Alex smiles and lets himself be romanced. When Henry says he wants to do it right, Alex is too in love to protest.

we should get married by smc_27

He’d spent most of the week sitting on the floor with his laptop open on the table, typing away about absolute nonsense in between sessions and phone calls with immigration and a lawyer trying to see if it’s possible there’s any way in the world he can stay in America while this gets sorted. The good news is this doesn’t bar him from trying again and just returning when it all gets sorted. Not that that will be easy, but still. It’s a possibility. He makes the absolutely foolish mistake, after pouring his second drink, of googling ‘marriage visa’ as if that will be the answer to any or all of his problems. Allows himself a brief, excruciating moment to imagine he has someone to marry and make that a reality. But then…he does, does he not? OR, a greencard marriage AU

i need that charles dickens by @whimsymanaged

Henry’s flatmate (and crush) Alex is suddenly obsessed with Charles Dickens. But when Henry asks to borrow Alex’s Dickens, he quickly learns that Alex hasn’t, in fact, been talking about a book.

Amazed at How We Talk (Once, Successfully) by @sparklepocalypse

And, well. Fuck that guy. Alex isn’t about to rub elbows with people who can’t even stand to be in the same room as him. Alex isn’t sulking when he sidles up to the bar and steals a man’s whisky. He also isn’t sulking when he obtains a second glass, this one neat. Or when he snags a large plate of canapés from one of the waitstaff and nonchalantly strolls out of the room. (Movieverse; a riff on the trope that asks, What if Cakegate didn't happen?)

like a bridge over troubled water, i will ease your mind by anincompletelist

And then— relief. So palpable that it sends more tears springing to his eyes, a sob at his lips that Henry quiets with a kiss. Everything from the past week was so much, had been building up pretty much from the moment Henry first left, and leaving him teetering on the edge of fine and definitively, very much not fine, one more useless appearance or shitty headline away from breaking into a million pieces. And shatter he had. But somehow, by some miracle, he’d been able to wait until Henry was here, was back with him in their home, to do it. His safety net, his safe place, his everything; the only one capable of holding all of his broken shards and figuring out how to piece them all back together again in the aftermath. The only one who has asked for the privilege of being there to do it.

Truth by cmere

Alex always does this, hauls every base fucking instinct that Henry has out into the open between them, plain for both to see. And every time it happens, Henry expects him to laugh it off or give him a hard time, but instead he just encourages it with soft, pliant lips and greedy fingers until Henry gives in to himself and his desires. Alex has never made him feel bad, or odd, or disgusting, always treats him with the utmost patience and care. Henry loves him so fucking much. It's just past midnight on Alex's birthday and he's going to get what he wants. Which is, of course, to give Henry what he wants.

as always, if you want me to tag you in future lists just let me know!

@starkfridays @stilesgivesmefeels @midnightsfp

[floosies]

dont imagine rockstar eddie who's band had been big a couple of years before you blew up. he'd been your friend and confidant through it all because you had similar friends and were signed to the same label.

he would never admit he had feelings for you because he knew the risks. but when you started dating some random model that one of your friends set you up with. he knew he had no choice but do something to let you know.

your birthday came and isnt it funny he said he had something planned for it. the whole whiskey a go go closed down for the night and all your friends (and boyfriend) were there. corroded coffin was on stage as soon as midnight hit. eddie with a shit eating huge grin on his face dedicating the set to his favorite girl in the world. you didnt think anything of it, just his kindness. until you heard the opening guitar riff.

maybe to the untrained musician they wouldnt know but lyrics sure didnt help, but you knew right away. you looked at him to make sure and all he could was look right into your eyes with a wink as he sang,

"Let's make the best of the situation

Before I finally go insane.

Please don't say I'll never find a way

And tell me all my love's in vain.

Layla, you've got me on my knees.

Layla, I'm begging, darling please.

Layla, darling won't you ease my worried mind."

some people looked at you, eyes wide and unsure. because they knew too, they knew what this was. everyone knew who eric clapton is and the mess that pattie boyd left him in. but you were a taken woman, just like her.

thankfully your boyfriend didnt get it the way some other people did. it took some time after their set to get a moment alone with eddie. you didnt want to cause attention, but damn you were both frustrated, angry, and hopeful.

knocking back a beer in the back of the bar he looked at you with a soft gaze, "how'd you like our set?" your face shifted from worried to slightly upset, "you either are the cruelest prankster or we should talk." you said letting out something between a huff and a laugh.

setting down the beer bottle he moved slightly in his seat to see you better. taking his hands into yours, his fingers rubbing your palms, he started speaking, "this business is shit but music is our comfort right? i've held back for so long, trying to keep myself from being eaten alive by it but you deserve so much more than that asshole. i'm sorry i didnt say it sooner but you're my moon and stars baby, even if im fucked here, i thought it was about time you knew." then he took your hands up to his mouth, his lips pressing kisses on your knuckles before placing them back onto your lap.

you'd wanted him for so long, but your boyfriend wasnt so much of an asshole as much as he was just indifferent to it all. here was this moment, you looked at him your eyes wide but staring with a loving look. in your heart you knew that your boyfriend wouldnt even care, he didnt think like eddie. it was all for fun and free. hollywood is that kind of place, but maybe this could be different.

taking his hands into yours as he had done just a moment ago you spoke to him quietly, "you waited this damn long. maybe we can give this a shot, but just one munson. i'm hoping it wont take more than that to prove me otherwise." His eyes lit up he looked like he did a while ago on that stage, you hadnt finished yet though, "but considering what you just pulled tonight i dont think you will, will you?" He shook his head.

"One shot baby, that's all I need, I promise you i'm not letting you go." Pulling you in tight, his lips pressed to yours in a feverish kiss.

As you kissed him you remembered where you were but didnt stop, this was your life, this was the business and the want was greater than the need. you'd deal with the bullshit in the morning.

[virdemption]

If Tumblr was in Super Monkey Ball (Very fanon)

🚂 baddestofboons Follow

I WILL get my revenge on Aiai and his flock of fiends! Just you wait!

⏱️ littlemirai Follow

4/13/2029

🚂 baddestofboons Follow

6/12/2029

💥 kungfuchampion Follow

Oh thank fuck it's the short version

🏋️‍♂️ toughguysweargreen Follow

legend has it they're still at it to this day

32000 notes

🎨 palettethepal Follow

Um... Hello! My name is Palette and I'm new to this whole Tumblr thing. Any tips for getting started?

⚡ xxtragedythunderxx Follow

TURN OFF ANONYMOUS ASKINGS I'VE GOTTEN THE UPMOST CRUELEST WORDS THROWN MY DIRECTION

🎨 palettethepal Follow

I'm so sorry to hear that! Who hurt you?

🔮 gracefulgeniequeen Follow

Probably the fucking anons oh my god learn to read

246 notes

🍌 aiailikesbananas Follow

i respect opinions of everyone. personally i love them but i want to see other opinions too :D

100 notes

🍭 yanxyanz Follow

gracefulgeniequeen SO COOL i wish i was as cool

🌺 meemeesgarden Follow

You most certainly are!

🌺 meemeesgarden Follow

Please avoid the notes. #p-yanyan isn't THAT bad or we're both missing something #oh no

544 notes

🕳️ insincerelyyours Follow

What in the world... I was singing one of my favorite songs and I just hear Palette shout the rest of the lyric across the house and it caught me oh so off guard...

0 notes

⚡ xxtragedythunderxx Follow

C'EST L'AMOUR ET BLESSURES

🔮 gracefulgeniequeen Follow

LMAO ARE YOU SAD YOUR LITTLE GIRLFRIEND'S BREAK TIME IS OVER AGAIN I cannot with these disgusting heathens like you no wonder you get so much anon hate ugly ass bitch

🍌 aiailikesbananas Follow

be nice to our friends :(

🔮gracefulgeniequeen Follow

WAIT OMGOMGOMG I'M SO SORRY AIAI

162 notes

🎨 palettethepal Follow

Don't tell Kenrai but I can hear her singing in the other rooms and I love this so much! I've spent enough time with her that I know what songs she sings and I think I'll surprise her :)

🕳️ insincerelyyours Follow

Palette.

🎨 palettethepal Follow

"Hey can anyone, can anyone hear me?" I CAN I CAN!!! I love you!!!

2 notes

🚂 baddestofboons Follow

The P-YanYan drama is amazing because it made everyone collectively forget about my EVIL PLANS #NOBODY'S READY FOR ME #except maybe baby but what can he do #he is but a dumb child

1 note

🔮 gracefulgeniequeen Follow

Okay yeah alright maybe MOST of what's being thrown against me is true but I SWEAR I'm not the one sending F-Gongon all those hate anons

I gotta have my name attached to everything I ask so they know who they're messing with! All anons are COWARDS!

🕳️ insincerelyyours Follow

If it hates them so much... has he ever tried... not answering those cutting asks? :)

814 notes

🏋️‍♂️ toughguysweargreen Follow

cock

1 note

[storytimewithnova]

Trapped in the Limelight Exploited and Exhibited

This is part of my inner demons series the message behind this story is Showing how the music and entertainment industry uses people to their pleasure that the limelight isn't all glitz and glam and you are that stage and it starts to feel like that old school active of show and tell

Once in a humble town, Shona, a young woman with an extraordinary voice and an unmatched passion for music, lived her life. Shona was deeply in love with Eita and Keiji, her partners in both love and music. Eita was the talented guitarist and vocalist of their band, and Keiji served as their manager. Together, they toured the world, sharing their musical magic.

Shona and her bandmates, Semi and Keiji, consistently graced the stage, enchanting their audiences with harmonies and lyrics from the heart. But behind the spotlight, Shona battled an unrelenting pressure to not only perform but to bare her soul on stage. Her songs were her confessions, laying her darkest thoughts and vulnerabilities out for all to see.

One day, everything changed for Shona. During a live performance, she suffered a public mental breakdown, exposing her raw emotions to the world. It was a moment of vulnerability that shook her to her core, leaving the crowd in stunned silence.

Among the onlookers was Shona's manipulative ex-boyfriend, seizing the opportunity to exploit her fragile state. He wove his web of manipulation, targeting her insecurities and fears.

This was Shona's harsh reality, and she found herself once again ensnared by her ex's manipulation. The aftermath played out during a major concert for Songbird Paradise. As the lights dimmed, Shona was suspended on stage like a marionette, controlled by invisible hands. She wore a lifeless expression.

She gazed upon her brother, ex-best friends, former lover, and fans who treated her as an object. With a sigh, she began to sing, her voice laden with emotion:

Sho: 🎶You pull me by my hair, so I don't go nowhere Tell me you love me, but you treat me like I'm never there🎶

Fans surged onto the stage, trying to touch her, leaving her angry and disheartened. A live stream allowed viewers to interact, leading to questions and concerns:

Comment: Ace, what do you mean? Another comment: Does she mean literally or...? One comment caught her off guard.

Anno: God, she is so annoying and whiny. Why do you idiots like her? She can't even sing; she probably uses auto-tune. FAKER 😂

Sho: 🎶You say the cruelest words, you used to break my heart 💔 'Cause I'm over here working my ass off🎶

Semi couldn't hide his upset and anger. Shona's perspective echoed her internal struggle:

Sho: 🎶Why is it so hard to see? (Why?) If I cut myself, I would bleed (kill me) I'm just like you, you're like me Imperfect and human, are we?🎶

Sho's pov: Why can't people see that I am human? I am not a machine. What do I have to do? Overwork myself until I'm bleeding, or perhaps end up in the hospital, comatose or worse?

🎶Show and tell I'm on display for all you fuckers to see🎶

The performance felt forced and unnatural. Shona was no longer authentic; it felt as though she were merely a puppet manipulated by others.

Sho: 🎶Show and tell, harsh words if you don't get a pic with me🎶

Refusing photos and autographs led fans to turn hostile, pushing Shona to relinquish fan interactions to her bandmates.

Semi: 🎶Buy and sell🎶

Semi sang with increasing concern.

Sho: 🎶Buy and sell me, baby, like I'm a product to society🎶

Shona felt like a commodity for people's amusement, an exhausting and dehumanizing experience. She sighed and continued:

Sho: 🎶Art don't sell unless you fucked every authority🎶

Shona acknowledged the harsh reality of her world, where she had to plead with people to watch her, like, subscribe, and listen, often appearing desperate. All she wanted was success for her group, but it came at a cost.

Sho: 🎶You beg and cry for more,he had 'em on the floor There are strangers takin' pictures of me when I ask, "No more" It's really hard for me to say just how I feel I'm scared that I'll get thrown away like a banana peel🎶

As Shona continued to sing, her movements appeared orchestrated, as if she were a marionette controlled by invisible strings. It was a painful metaphor for the inner turmoil that haunted her life.

The applause thundered through the arena, and Shona forced a strained smile, acknowledging her fans. To them, it was another electrifying performance, a dazzling display of talent. But deep down, Shona couldn't shake the feeling of being trapped, a puppet dancing to the whims of an audience that demanded more and more.

As the lights dimmed and the stage went dark, Shona stumbled backstage, her breath ragged. Her bandmates rushed to her side, concern etched on their faces. Semi and Keiji watched her backstage, equally worried, but Eita in particular couldn't hide his concern and upset any longer. Shona didn't look like she had control of her body anymore; it was as if someone else was manipulating her like a puppet master.

Sho: 🎶Why is it so hard to see? (Why?) If I cut myself, I would bleed (kill me) I'm just like you, you're like me Imperfect and human, are we?🎶

Sho continued to move and contort in ways that were far from normal. She looked possessed, and it was freaking out her boyfriends and bandmates, but she kept going.

Sho: 🎶Show and tell (show and tell) I'm on display for all you fuckers to see (fuckers to see) Show and tell (show and tell) Harsh words if you don't get a pic with me🎶

Semi: Cut the show; this isn't looking good.

A staff member replied, "We can't."

Semi: Cut the damn show, damn it! Something is happening to her!

Shona was still singing, but tears were spilling from her eyes.

Semi: 🎶Buy and sell🎶

She sang softly, her voice no longer carrying the roar of the crowd.

Semi: 🎶Buy and sell me, baby, like I'm a product to society🎶

His words were a silent reassurance, a promise that they were in this together, navigating the treacherous waters of fame as a united front. Shona appreciated his support, but the weight of her inner demons still bore down on her.

Shona's Pov: How did it come to this? When did my art become a mere commodity, a product to be bought and sold? The very essence of my creativity feels tarnished, and I'm drowning in a sea of expectations and demands.

Their manager approached, his eyes calculating, already thinking about the next promotional event and the tour ahead. Shona could hardly breathe; the relentless cycle of shows, interviews, and fan interactions threatened to consume her entirely.

Sho: 🎶Art don't sell unless you fucked every authority🎶

Her thoughts drifted to the choices she'd made and the compromises she'd accepted to reach this point in her career. She wondered if there was a way to reclaim her authenticity, to break free from the chains that bound her.

As the night wore on, Shona found herself alone in her dressing room, staring at her reflection in the mirror. Her face was a mask, concealing the turmoil within. The lyrics of the song, "Show and Tell," continued to echo in her mind, a haunting reminder of the price she paid for stardom.

Sho: 🎶Show and tell Why can't you fucking hear me? Show and tell, um Are you listening yet?🎶

The room felt suffocating, and Shona longed for a moment of solitude, a chance to reconnect with the artist she once was. She knew that the journey to reclaim her authenticity would be a difficult one, but it was a path she was determined to walk.

Sho: 🎶Show and tell (show and tell, baby) I'm on display for all you fuckers to see (fuckers to see) Show and tell (oh) Harsh words if you don't get a pic with me Buy and sell Like I'm a product to society Art don't sell Unless you fucked every authority🎶

In the midst of the chaos and manipulation, Shona's inner demons had grown stronger, but so had her resolve. She would find a way to break free from the strings that controlled her, to rediscover the true essence of her art, and to show the world that she was more than just a product of society.

Days turned into weeks, and Shona's determination to break free from the suffocating grip of her fame grew stronger. She knew she had to confront her inner demons and find her authenticity once more.

With the support of her bandmates, Semi and Keiji, she decided to take a hiatus from the music industry. They canceled the remaining tour dates and retreated from the public eye, seeking solace and healing in a remote cabin in the woods.

In the serene isolation of the cabin, Shona started to reconnect with herself. She spent hours by the fire, writing songs that came from deep within her soul, not songs meant to please the masses, but songs meant to express her truth. The lyrics were raw, unfiltered, and free from the constraints of commercial success.

Semi and Keiji were there every step of the way, providing emotional support and encouragement. They too had felt the strain of fame, and this retreat was a chance for all of them to rediscover their artistic roots.

As the weeks passed, Shona's music became a cathartic release, a way to process the trauma she had endured. She shared her new songs with Semi and Keiji, and together they created music that felt genuine and authentic.

During this time, they received messages of support from fans who had witnessed Shona's breakdown. Many of them had realized the toll that fame had taken on their idol and were now expressing their understanding and empathy.

Shona decided to document her journey to self-discovery and healing through a series of heartfelt vlogs. She shared her struggles, her moments of vulnerability, and her determination to find her true self again. The response from her fans was overwhelming, and she realized that she could use her platform to advocate for mental health awareness and the importance of authenticity in the entertainment industry.

Months passed, and Shona and her bandmates emerged from their retreat as changed individuals. They were no longer slaves to the demands of the industry; they were artists who had found their voice and their purpose.

Their return to the music scene was met with anticipation, but this time it was on their terms. They refused to compromise their authenticity for fame and fortune. Their music resonated with fans on a deeper level, touching their hearts with its honesty and vulnerability.

Shona's journey had not only transformed her but had also inspired others in the industry to prioritize mental health and authenticity. She became an advocate for change, using her platform to raise awareness and support for artists struggling with the pressures of fame.

In the end, Shona had reclaimed her authenticity, and in doing so, she had found a new kind of success—one that was built on self-expression, resilience, and the unwavering support of her bandmates and fans. It was a success that allowed her to be true to herself and to inspire others to do the same.

[shadowknightapologist]

YAYYYY OKAY it's madness time

WARNINGS FOR: angst, toxicity, torture, cannibalism.

first off, Gibson Girl. if you know Ethel Cain lore, don't apply it here LMAO i'm going purely off the lyrics + their vibes/my interpretations.

not every lyric applies but here are the ones that do with explanations:

"says he's in love with my body, that's why he's fucking it up"

gene def feels like the sort of asshole to tell laurance he's beautiful, well-built, etc. while torturing him 😭🙏

gene is really fucked in the head after becoming a shadow knight, so his relationship with pain is. odd. he thinks it's good, that it's a reward, that strong people can take strike after strike and keep grinning through it. part of him knows he's being an asshole when he inflicts this philosophy on laurance, but the other part genuinely believes laurance will become a stronger, hardier person.

""Baby, if it feels good, then it can't be bad" / where I can be immoral in a stranger's lap"

i mentioned this in the laurgene ask i got, but at its bones, laurance and gene's relationship primarily consists of gene goading/pushing laurance into overreacting. to gene there's no reason to hold back. as a shadow knight, your allegiance is to shad and shad alone, why would you want to spare anyone of your righteous fury? and why be scared of being powerful when you could embrace it? ("if it feels good, then it can't be bad")

laurance hates how easy it is to slip into being a shadow knight around gene. when they fight, it becomes less about stopping gene and more about hurting him. every time laurance uses a little more force, revels at the blood a little more, fractures a little more, until it starts to boil over and this affects how he fights with others (think of the werewolf wedding for an example) ("where i can be immoral in a stranger's lap")

"you wanna fuck me right now, you wanna see me on my knees / you wanna rip these clothes off and hurt me"

i debated keeping the first line just because i don't think laurance and gene ever got physical like that but i'm gonna stay w it because of the sentiment.

i think these lyrics really encompass the aggression of their relationship. it's like. they make each other feel, but it's never soft. laurance hates gene's guts, and gene just likes to break laurance down/prove that he's not as good as he thinks he is.

as much as gene likes getting laurance to go sicko mode on him, nothing's ever going to beat the power rush of reminding laurance that he's his superior for a reason. unfortunately, laurance's persistence to rebel just makes gene all the more interested in putting him in his place.

"and if you hate me, please don't tell me / just let the lights bleed all over me"

this actually isn't about gene and laurance and more about how gene's influence affects laurance's relationship with others.

despite his best attempts to maintain control, laurance is splintering. he knows that anyone looking can see it. he knows it's only a matter of time until he does something unforgivable and everyone sees him as a monster (if he's not already). ("and if you hate me, please don't tell me")

for a moment, when he's fighting, when he's leading his rebellion, he can forget. he doesn't have to remember the softness of aphmau's hands, or garroth's smile, or how he'd catch dante mimicking him in training. he doesn't have to remember to be kind or honorable or human. being cruel is a benefit in the nether, and if it takes being the cruelest for people to survive, then so be it. ("just let the lights bleed all over me")

OKAY STRANGERS TIME. similarly to Gibson Girl, don't apply Ethel Cain lore lol.

"in your basement, i grow cold, thinking back to what i was always told: "don't talk to strangers or you might fall in love""

THIS IS ABOUT EURYDICE I FEAR. he thinks of her often throughout the turning process, sometimes kindly, sometimes cruelly. at times he blames her, sometimes he hopes she'll save him, and when he's more lucid he wonders if she made it out at all or if they slaughtered her like a lamb.

"when my mother sees me on the side of a milk carton in winn-dixie's dairy aisle, she'll cry and wait up for me"

CADENZA. do we ever even find out how she felt about her brother DISAPPEARING for 3 weeks? i think she was a chicken during this time so tbf she was busy but 💀💀 MY FEELINGS ARE THAT WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH CADENZA + LAURANCE CANON CONTENT, ESPECIALLY IN REGARDS TO HOW SHE FEELS ABOUT LAURANCE BECOMING A SHADOW KNIGHT.

(the fandom kills me bc i've just forgotten a lot of stuff /hj)

anyway. cadenza fucking sobbing when she finds out what happened. one father is already dead, now her brother? she's not familiar with shadow knights like guards and scholars might be, but she knows the general idea: reanimated corpses, dark knights, evil creatures. in her grief, cadenza prays, but it's not to eirene. she's ashamed of it sometimes, but she begs whatever dark force is out there to return her brother to her. she knows him. there's no way laurance could ever be any less good than he is. he'd prevail. he's not like everyone else. etc, etc.

"i'm happier here 'cause he told me i should be"

pretty simple, just gene manipulating and brainwashing laurance

"you're so handsome when i'm all over your mouth"

fun fact, the first few times i listened to this song i didn't listen with lyrics (as in, i didn't watch them, so i didn't process the words LMAO) and i thought this was just about kissing?? and then my friend fixated on Ethel's lore and was like "yeah it's cannibalism" and my brain EXPLODES every time i listen to this lyric now.

anyway shadow knights and cannibalism. i've established that as a thing. shadow knights eat each other for power, but gene's probably just a little freak who likes to bite the newbies because it scares the fuck out of them. i think romanticization is a tool traumatized people use to process trauma without it tearing them apart, which is what laurance ends up doing to an extent.

"i tried to be good, am i no good? am i no good? am i no good? with my memory restricted to a polaroid in evidence"

gene manipulating laurance's memories, laurance struggling to decipher what's true and false because he knows his mind has been tampered with...

laurance finds himself switching between "i'm here because i'm an awful person" and "i'm here because everyone else is awful". he knows he's misremembering things, but to what point? how much of it is foul play and how much of it is trauma? how much of it is him seeing things for what they really are?

laurance scratches at the walls of his mind for weeks before ungrth saves him. ungrth/passing through the realm barrier the way he did manages to purge laurance's mind of the memory magic, so he remembers everything perfectly when he's topside.

"i just wanted to be yours, can i be yours? can i be yours? just tell me i'm yours"

laurance talking to joh and hayden, to eurydice, to cadenza, to sasha, to gene, to eirene, to shad. i think at his core, laurance wants to be someone's. not necessarily romantically, but he just wants to feel at home. he's loathe to admit it, but he thinks that, sometimes, if gene switched his tactic to talk more about comradery and unity, it might have garnered more consideration from him.

additionally, after becoming a shadow knight, laurance knows he's different from everyone else. even without completing the process, he'll outlive most of the people he grew up with. it's not as necessary for him to eat or drink or sleep anymore. he can't be out in the rain without his skin burning. he's not human anymore.

who else other than gene could actually want that?

"if i'm turning in my stomach and i'm making you feel sick, am i making you feel sick?"

self explanatory, i think...

can anyone who knew him recognize him? can he still be a good person? can he still be a good guard? is it worth trying? is everyone waiting for him to snap? is his life going to be an endless battle? will he win?

idk i leave this with the people

i feel that the best way i can explain toxic ex laurgene in MCD is through ethel cain's "gibson girl" and "strangers" but LIKE I FEAR I'LL SOUND INSANE EXPLAINING MYSELF

[zorlok-if]

Ro+ Tommy at karaoke. :)

Love it. Not too sure what this is asking for—if it's asking for anything lol—but here is what they'd sing and how the performance would go cause the thought was just so charming to me

Tommy: Life Is A Highway by Rascal Flatts, Tommy is very self-conscious and not the world's best singer, but if you get the kid to come out of his shell, he will fucking jam out (he just may need you to sing with him, you know... for moral support)

Dev: Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen, would fucking crush it, Dev is a great singer but, more importantly, xe's a natural performer, this is a fucking event, like a goddamn one-person musical

EJ: Umbrella by Rihanna, really good, EJ's an even better singer than they'll seem to be but they get really nervous and that causes their voice to shake (therefore tripping them up a bit), but the emotion and the talent are still there—if somewhat timid

Adam/Eve: Hotel California by Eagles, cannot sing well but nonetheless would have a lot of fun attempting to belt out this song (as long as they're not singing in front of strangers)

Lucía: Orpheus by Sara Bareilles, her singing voice could bring anyone listening to tears, I mean she's a lead vocalist and drummer in a band which plays weekly at The Cellar, she's fucking fantastic

Ciel: House of Wolves by My Chemical Romance, surprisingly good, very emotional, lots and lots of head banging

Danny: Creep by Radiohead, Danny sings by signing rhythmically (for examples of what this is like check out these amazing ASL covers of Creep, here and here, or this one in IS), Danny's very expressive and emotional, they love feeling music and dancing so they incorporate that into their interpretation

The Celestial: Nothing Else Matters by Metallica, listening to em sing is a truly divine experience, ey can make eir voice sound however ey likes and be eir own back-up singers and eir voice twinkles almost with its own soft, sparkling instrumentation

Rose: Livin' la Vida Loca by Ricky Martin, not a great singer but he loves nothing more than singing at the top of his lungs, you're in for a fucking show (and he will 100% change the pronouns in the lyrics)

[Secret RO]: Rock You Like A Hurricane by Scorpions, it doesn't matter what they say or sing, theirs is genuinely the most entrancing and enthralling voice you've ever heard—the very thing your darkest, cruelest, and most intoxicating dreams are made of; props will be used (ideally, you are the prop)

[mionemymind]

Chapter 1: Code 10-15

Favorite Crime

Series Summary: Y/n L/n, daughter of the villainous group, “The Gisbourne”. They’re known to do the cruelest things around the world in order to get what they want. In order to stray away from her family, Y/n is the founder and sole member of the vigilante group, “The Robins”. She does what she can in order to assist those in need of help in New York City.

However, what happens when the Avengers are tasked with finally defeating the Gisbournes? What happens when they use their newest member, Wanda Maximoff, to get to the black sheep of the family? What happens if they both fall in love? But what if it was all a mission to Wanda? 

A/n: This story is told through different splices of Y/n and Wanda’s story. Italics are generally flashbacks. And be sure to read the lyrics of the story. It’s not in the same order as the original song but this is purposely done :) (Not my GIF) 

Warnings: Betrayal, angst, cursing, happy ending 

Word Count: 2.9k

Masterlist

Chapter 0 | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Bonus

Know that I loved you so bad I let you treat me like that I was your willing accomplice, honey

“Guys, let me introduce you to our newest member of the team, Wanda Maximoff.” Heads turned as the brunette timidly walked into the room. She fiddled with her hands as she shyly mumbled a quick hello to the intimidating crowd. It was Natasha that broke the silence first. “Welcome to the team, Wanda.”

Soon introductions happened but Wanda had yet to say anything else. All she could focus on was trying her best to not read their thoughts. It seemed that Natasha was the easiest to sit by since her thoughts were surprisingly quiet. She found Tony and Thor to be the loudest while Bucky’s felt a little...damaged.

Nonetheless, Steve excused the two as he led Wanda to her new room. Opening the door for her, Wanda found herself to be in a spotless and minimalistic room. The colors were on the grayscale and everything smelled and looked brand new.

“Here’s your room.” Wanda walked in, enjoying the fact that she can finally have something of her own. But considering who she was living with, she felt a little overwhelmed at the possibility of the bed itself being worth more than her childhood home.

“Everything in here can accommodate your needs just as long as you know how to work one of these,” Steve said as he held up a small tablet for the room controls. Wanda laughed a little and jokingly asked, “Are you telling me you don’t?” Her voice was strongly laced with her Sokovian accent, which was something Wanda lightly cursed herself about.

This was a change. This was new. This was a place she could start a new page and maybe even a new Wanda.

Steve slightly blushed as he scratched the back of his neck. He placed the tablet back on the nightstand and said, “Well...let’s just say I’m not one with the current times.”

“So, an old soul?”

“You could say that.” Slowly backing to the door, Steve held on to the handle and said, “But, I’ll give you time to adjust. Also, before I forget, we have a talking robot in the building. So if you hear a very smart alek voice, that’s just the robot.”

Steve gave Wanda a comforting smile before closing the door. Looking around once more, Wanda noticed that she had her own flat screen in the room. There was a desk in the corner as well as two various doors. Going through them, one door led to her own luxurious bathroom and the other led to her own walk-in closet.

Wanda walked back into the main room and saw that she had glass doors leading to the balcony. Pulled in by the breathtaking view, Wanda slid out to the balcony and watched the scenery in front of her. It was night time yet New York felt as lively as the morning. “This really is the city that never sleeps.” And as Wanda continued to watch, she could only hope that this was the new beginning she needed.

“So you’ve been here a couple of months,” Clint stated as he and Wanda finished their training session. “How do you feel?” He tossed Wanda a towel which she caught with ease. While wiping the sweat off her face, she responded with, “I feel good.”

It was an obvious lie yet Clint didn’t manage to catch it. And if he did, he would’ve figured it was the nervousness talking. However, Wanda couldn’t help but think that she’s never felt so lonely till now.

“Well, that’s good to hear.” Clint picked up the various items they used for training and started to place them back in their original places. “Heads up, I think Steve is going to give you your first big mission.”

Wanda was putting back the weights when she said, “Really?” For the first few months, she’s been shadowing the other Avengers during their missions. Sometimes they would ask for Wanda’s opinion on how she would have handled the situation and other times she would just watch.

“Yeah. The team is impressed. You learn really quickly.”

“I don’t want to let anybody down.” It was rather late for it because Wanda already felt like she let herself down.

“You won’t. I know you won’t.”

Looking down at the file given to her, Wanda first noticed how young the girl looked in the picture. There were tiny scars on her face but none looked prominent. The thing that pulled in the most was her alluring eyes. They appeared soft at first but Wanda had a feeling there was more to those tired eyes.

“So, her name is Y/n L/n and my mission is to get close to her?” Wanda asked. She couldn’t really wrap her thoughts on why she was needed on this mission. The girl didn’t seem like the type to know much combat. So it shouldn’t be too hard for the Avengers to get her.

“Correct. You’re tasked with getting close to her to the point she can trust you. Since not a lot of people know you’re a part of the Avengers, you can help us use her to get to her family.” Wanda sighed. She didn’t want to disappoint them on her first big mission but why did it feel like the Avengers were in over their heads?

Regardless of her anxiety, Wanda swallowed it down and said, “Okay, when should I start?”

Those things I did Just so I could call you mine The things you did Well, I hope I was your favorite crime

Natasha, Steve, and Wanda sat in hiding. They were currently waiting for their target to arrive at the designated location. Various S.H.I.E.L.D. agents hid with the scenery and the night had only aided in their secrecy.

As the minutes ticked by since Y/n’s last message, Wanda couldn’t help but feel nauseous from her actions. Here she was, standing with the good side of history yet she couldn’t help but feel so repulsed by her actions.

Doubt plagued her mind which only increased her anxiety. While fiddling with her fingers, Wanda could only think about her. She thought about everything that could happen to Y/n. From how the government could possibly treat her to the possible interrogation that she would have to go through.

Oddly enough, she hoped that it wasn’t Natasha that could have a chance of doing that. Because if it were her, Y/n would end up in two ways. Beaten and bruised or hopelessly enamored by Natasha. Both ways made Wanda more anxious for this outcome. As sick as it was, Wanda would rather have Y/n be beaten and bruised than the latter. Jealousy was an ugly look on Wanda as well as betrayal.

“Do we really have to do this Steve?” Wanda could feel her hands start to shake but she quickly pulled herself together. Steve was right beside her. At any chance he felt that she was distracted, he would have her immediately escorted out.

“It’s the only way, Wanda.” The lack of doubt in his voice made Wanda shiver. She felt hopeless yet she was the only one to blame. She practically led Y/n to slaughter.

“But she’s nothing like them. You see what she does on her own.” Although Wanda knew there was no chance of pleading her case to Steve, she still tried because this was Y/n for fuck’s sake.

“I’m sorry Wanda but one good person can’t make up for what her entire family has done to many.” Looking back to the entrance of the tunnel, Wanda could only think about the good things that Y/n has done with her. Because to her, one good person was enough.

It's bittersweet to think about the damage that we do 'Cause I was going down, but I was doing it with you Yeah, everything we broke, and all the trouble that we made But I say that I hate you with a smile on my face

Wanda and Y/n were hanging out at an abandoned playground near the boat docks. Surprisingly, things were still intact despite the wear and tear they’ve been through. Y/n hung upside down on the monkey bars as she watched Wanda swing closely by her.

Maybe it was the way her hair flowed through the night breeze. Or maybe it was the way that she still shone through the darkness of the night. Or maybe it was this new happy look she had on her face. Or maybe - no - it was just the way she was - always is. She’s Wanda Maximoff. With all the blood rushing down to her head, and this overbearing feeling in her chest, Y/n said, “You know that I love you, right?”

Wanda stopped swinging and looked over at Y/n. There was a small bewildered look on her face but she didn’t look disgusted by the question. “What?” There was suddenly a rush of blood pounding in Wanda’s ears. She hoped that her mind wasn’t playing tricks with her especially now.

“I know it’s crazy - I haven’t even taken you out on a first date or anything but,” there was a glint to Wanda’s eyes and that confirmed everything that Y/n was feeling, “...I do.”

Y/n pulled her body upwards and replaced her legs with her hands on the monkey bars. She swung back and forth to get her blood flowing in other directions besides her head. She looked at Wanda and saw this doubted look on her face. So Y/n quickly added, “Yeah, I love you.”

“And what makes you say that?” Wanda had various answers in mind to her own question. Y/n could possibly be on drugs or she hung upside down for far too long. Or maybe, Y/n is just out of her fucking mind. But still, Wanda only hoped that Y/n would reassure her that she heard correctly. That she does love her.

Thinking about it for a moment, Y/n suddenly found the right words to say as she swung forward and landed right in front of Wanda. She placed her hands on the ropes of the swing, her face lowering down Wanda’s, little distance between them as Y/n said, “Well, you see me as my own person. Not somebody that’s the daughter of something. Just...me.”

Wanda’s breath was caught in her throat. Suddenly her senses were filled with anything about Y/n. Her ocean scented cologne, the hair pomade she uses to style, and the way her face looked so beautiful as if it was constructed by Michelangelo.

“Anyone can do that Y/n,” she whispered. Her eyes showcased her heart as she kept looking down at Y/n’s lips. But the way Y/n’s masked made her eyes looked constantly made Wanda look back up.

“I wouldn’t call you anyone,” Y/n said cockily. “You’re Wanda Maximoff. The girl that sees the best in people and the girl I so happen to be in love with.” Love. It was so easy for Y/n to say to Wanda despite everything she has been through with her family.

No one taught her love yet when she looked at Wanda, all she could do is feel it. “You feel so comfortable saying that around me yet I haven’t said it back,” Wanda joked. By now, her breath caught in her throat with how close they were getting.

By now, their foreheads touched as Wanda’s grip on the ropes of the swing tightened. “Well, I have a feeling that you will someday. And if you don’t, at least I got it off my chest.” And someday would be today.

Slowly, the two were leaning in when - RING!

The annoying alarm that blared through Y/n’s beeper made her groan. Now, someday would be in the future. “Uhhhhh - duty calls,” she said in distaste, however, Y/n had so badly wanted to stay with Wanda. Surprisingly, Wanda felt the same way. But vigilante duties were important to Y/n. So with another kiss on Wanda’s cheek, Y/n saluted goodbye. “See you Wands. You better practice saying those words now.” Y/n left with a wink and a smile on her face.

The room was tense as Y/n stood before her family. Sharp eyes looked into Y/n’s soul as they beckoned her to finally say her peace. “I don’t want to be a part of this family anymore.”

This type of tantrum was nothing new with Y/n. Everyone knew she didn’t like being part of this family but it never got this intense. “You don’t know what you’re saying Y/n,” her Dad reasoned but frankly, he was getting aggravated by this whole shenanigan.

���No, I do know what I’m saying.” She knew her family wouldn’t treat her seriously. They never did and she was hoping that they would once more because, after this fight, she would never come back.

“You’re throwing your life away, over what? Some girl?” The whole thing was quite pathetic to them. How could you throw the whole world away for somebody they believed Y/n hardly knew?

“She’s treated me better than you,” she countered. However, her family simply rolled their eyes at her statement.

“Oh yeah? Go ahead with your little friend then but don’t come running back when things go south.” The cigar in his hands was placed into the ashtray nearby. Y/n’s parents hardly looked when they heard Y/n’s footsteps leaving the room for they truly believed their daughter would come back. Because in a family like theirs, blood is the only thing you can trust.

Perched up on the balcony, with the breeze of the night flowing past them, Wanda and Y/n were laughing at the various things their powers did. However, the night turned with Y/n teasing Wanda endlessly. “I hate you,” she said as she slightly shoved Y/n as she smiled. “Sure you do,” Y/n replied with a smirk plastered on her face.

“I seriously do,” Wanda said as she noticed Y/n look at her lips. The two leaning in closer to each other. “Okay, and what are you going to do about it?” Y/n licked her lips as she could feel her heart explode with how little space was between them.

“Thi-,” the moment was cut short was Wanda’s phone rang. Their foreheads touched at the obvious annoyment to the interruption. Y/n had to physically remember to breathe as Wanda gave her a sorry smile. “Duty calls?” Y/n said to lighten the mood.

“Duty calls.” Seeing the frown on Wanda’s face made Y/n want to kiss her even more. “God, her lips must be soft,” she thought loudly. Wanda blushed at Y/n’s words but Y/n hardly noticed. All she wanted was to remove her frown. So she settled for the next best thing. She kissed Wanda’s cheek, letting it linger for a couple of seconds.

“See you later Maximoff.” Feeling overwhelmed with joy, Wanda shoved Y/n off the building as Y/n saluted her goodbye. Smiles were still plastered on both faces.

The ringing still went as Wanda saw Y/n successfully swing away. She picked up her phone with a sigh, having to remove all her flustered emotions as she answered the call. “Hello.”

“What the hell was that, Wanda?” She knew it was coming especially since the team had a very close eye on this mission. Failure wasn’t an option. “It was called acting, maybe you should try it, Tony.” She could already feel his eye roll from a mile away.

“You’re lucky I called when I did.” Luck...if it was luck, then her heart shouldn’t have ached this much. “Yeah...thanks, Tony.”

Y/n arrived at their place in huffed breaths. The adrenaline from breaking away from her family still running through her veins. “Wanda?!” She yelled out. The tunnel echoing her voice. “Wanda?!” There was still no response.

Before Y/n could call out again, the sound of combat boots echoed through the tunnel. Y/n sighed in relief knowing that Wanda was here. “Love - I think we can still make it before my family finds��”

Slowly, the figure stepped into the light provided by the moon. His chiseled jaw and god-like physique caused Y/n to go into a defensive mode. Y/n didn’t need to see the shield in his hand to know this was Steve Rogers aka Captain America.

“What are you doing here? Where’s Wanda?” Steve didn’t respond as he pressed his fingers onto his comms. “Target is here. Move forward.” Suddenly, Y/n could feel something latch on to her back, a spread of electricity shooting through her body.

Y/n dropped to her knees, groaning in pain as she still looked at Steve. A hard boot to her back made her face roughly connect to the dirty concrete. The electrifying feeling intensifying more than ever.

As they cuffed her arms and legs, Y/n couldn’t help but focus on how much her body was on fire. She thrashed and struggled in their hold and all she could think to yell out was, “Wanda!” Screams of pain and helpless begging for Wanda’s presence echoed through the tunnels.

And as Y/n slowly faded in and out of consciousness, Wanda stood at the exit of the tunnel, hearing the love of her life begging for her to save her.

Chapter 2

Taglist: @abimess​ @dandelions4us​ @lostandsearching​ @magically-queer-stuff​ @olsensnpm​ @randomshyperson​ @somewhatgreatexpectations​ @spacevoyager2​ @when-wolves-howl @xxromanoffxx​ @yourtaletotell

[fairycosmos]

Hi fairycosmos,

I really don’t want to bother you but I feel like you’re the only person I know (and I don’t even know you) who might be able to relate.

Today my sister would’ve turned 21, if we hadn’t lost her to cancer. I don’t know how to deal with my grief on her birthday, because it gets so overwhelming and suffocating and usually I just try to switch everything off by doing my uni work and switching off my mind as best as possible. I listened to Taylor Swift’s album Red, thinking music might distract me. But there is one line that goes “it’s supposed to be fun, turning 21” and I just got pulled under these waves of grief, it feels like I’m drowning. I can’t talk to my family about this, and again I’m really sorry for being a bother, I just felt the need to let somebody who might be able to understand know. I’m sorry you lost your sister, I’m sorry for the both of us and I’m sorry for our sister. Life is so cruel

god i am so so sorry to hear this :( i genuinely feel like words will never be able to do it justice, it’s the cruelest and most inexplicably fucking evil thing ever how ppl are taken from us so quickly and so soon. im so sorry, i can’t fathom your specific situation. sometimes attempts at comfort can feel like rubbing salt in the wound and i would really hate if this came across like that. so i just want to tell you that i really do understand (to an extent) and you do not have to sit in this pain alone. the waves of grief are inevitable, and horrible. quite literally the worst aspect of being a person, and nobody truly gets it until they find themselves in that situation too. but it’s ok to allow the emotion to wash over you, especially on days like today. it feels like the world is ending every single time, and you know you’ll get another tsunami of that same feeling tomorrow, and all you can do is accept it. you drown, float to the surface, you drown, float to the surface. i completely get how tiring and helpless it can feel. how utterly devastating, how fucking enraging. but talk to your sister. keep her around and celebrate her birthday even just within your own heart and mind. it was my sisters recently too, she would’ve been 24, and the whole day i was just drunk and on autopilot. i think it would’ve felt a little less suffocating in the long run if i had allowed myself to confront it even for a few minutes, no matter how hard those few minutes would’ve been. so i think you should do the same, whatever that means to you. if you want to talk about her, write about her, reminisce over better times, look at her photos. it won’t feel good obviously, in fact it feels like fucking hell to me personally, even worse than numbing it. but i think it’s the only way. that lyric reminds you of her because so much of her is still around, and it’s a heartbreaking thing, but she is. im sure your sister was just the most wonderful person, i can’t even comprehend how young she was in this context. you both deserved so much better, im so sorry. the complexities of the bond you had with her are something i’ll never understand, obviously only you knew her in that specific way. but im sure she knows you love her so immensely, and of course that love and connection is still just as real as it ever was. i try my absolute hardest to think that my sister and i still have a relationship even though she’s not here, and special occasions such as birthdays can be a really good way to honour that. i couldn’t do it on her last birthday, i was just so out of my mind. but maybe next time. and maybe you can this time. just cry as much as you need, do whatever it takes to get from hour to hour. moment to moment even. scream, dont talk. distract yourself, or stay in bed all day. whatever you need, it’s ok. i understand that literally nothing compares to having her physically here, and there’s no way around that. it’s like a fucking nightmare, all the time. but she is such a giant part of you and everyone around you, regardless. and she absolutely always will be. i really really hope that the rest of the day doesn’t give you too much trouble, but whatever happens, it’s alright. there’s no wrong way to grieve and just surviving days like this is such a monumental achievement. again, i am so so sorry. im keeping your sister in my thoughts, and you too. i feel like she was such a light. im so sorry. sending you the biggest hug ever. please take care of yourself, especially today. if you need something to focus on, just focus on that. getting enough rest, eating enough, getting comfortable and clean. one step at a time x

[psychewritesbs]

This is psychology related rather than anime related. My friend recently introduced me to the music of Clarence Clarity and I wondered if you knew it. Because one of his songs is called 'Obsessed With my Shadow Self' and there's a pair of songs he collaborated on with Entrepreneurs called 'Death Tactics' and 'Fuck Tactics'. The connection to Jung with the first seems pretty clear, but the second one also seems like a life/death drive thing, right? (I don't remember much about Jung or Freud - it's been 10 years - and if the life/death drive is a purely Freudian concept not a Jungian one, please forgive me)

HOLA! The truth is we’re all fucked 💀✨

I've never heard of them but they sure have interesting lyrics just from the 3 songs you shared with me. It's refreshing to read lyrics that aren't about bitches and ho's and heartbreak, so thanks for sharing!

As with art, interpretations are always subjective, and even though the lyrics were super cryptic, I found some of the lyrics relatable since I've come face to face with my own death drive before.

Short answer: So yeeees... I totally agree about these death drive themes happening in these songs.

I actually get nerdy 🤓 excited just thinking about it.

Long answer below the cut because God knows I can vomit words:

When you're about to lose it all You've got introspection

I mean... this whole idea of being obsessed with one's shadow self? Like... yes. How cool is that? Mostly because the shadow is mostly available to the conscious mind as a projection of that which we reject.

+ introspection is the way that the shadow self is assimilated.

Death/fuck tactics are interesting because, as a Marketing nerd, I'm always looking at how to implement strategy vs. tactics. So this song almost feels like it's about someone who is haphazardly destroying whatever he doesn't like, sometimes in the cruelest way possible (let it bleed for 50 days).

And all because why? His inner-demons are asking for an offering.

ok so I am having a hard time communicating this in English, Spanish word makes more sense but in English it lacks oomph--think of how the Aztecs offered/sacrificed virgins to their Gods for continued luck with rain, war, etc. Same sentiment.

To me, acting out on one's inner demons means that they asked for an offering in order to be appeased, and the action is the offering itself. But that's just the kind of relationship I have with my inner-demons. Little fuckers I swear...

Ah inner-demons... I personally bounce back and forth between darkest dark and brightest bright with most of my time spent somewhere in the middle. But... idk about you but listening to my inner-demons gets exhausting after a while. I wouldn't want to live forever if I spent most of my time committing acts that feed said demons.

I think you've read my post on my death wish? These songs kind of remind me of that. But instead of self-harm, this person is harming others. We're both acting out the death drive.

I'd add that the difference is that even when I go into my self-destructive hole, I always know I'll come back up, because psychologically, life is a process of ego death and rebirth. This person sounds like they don't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

So these are my thoughts. Curious about yours! It seems like you’ve really liked the songs.

[pennie-umbra]

Songs from my country (Brazil) that I think match sander sides because why not (with the translations so you guys can appreciate my genius)

I’m not gonna put the whole songs because that will make for a giant post, I’ll only put some parts that I think prove my point

1- Vou Levar (I'll keep going)- Character Thomas

• “The day I went mad for good/ My five senses felt like six/ All truths hid a/ maybe or more”

• “And what a willing it gives me/ To take, to take / My problems to dance / I'm going out, I'm going to sing / My secrets, my dilemmas / Face my fears in a movie theater / Take my enemies to the bar”

Those two! I think they do a perfect job at describing Sander sides and Thomas’ fears and confusion, c’mon we literally have a phrase that could serve as a reference to can lying be good (”face my fears in a movie theather”)

2- Me Adora (Adore me) - Janus

I've lived so many disappointments / That one was by far the cruelest / A deep silence and I declared / Just don't dishonor my name

You who don't even hear me till the end / Unfairly judge for pleasure / Be careful when you talk about me

Notice that there's no way to know / It's just your guesses on your own hand / I'm more than your eye can see / So don't dishonour my name

It doesn't matter if I'm not what you want / Your projection isn't my fault / I accept the apathy, if it comes / But don't dishonour my name

I mean- Just look at the song! It's absolutely perfect for him!

3- Funeral da Ilusão (Illusion's funeral) - Janus

You stole my life / my dreams fell to the ground / I feel weak, with no strength to fight / living in this anguish / I don't get it / why do you want to lose everything?

Keep your head up/ get up and grown up / look around you / I'm right by your side

For me this is Janus talking to Thomas, like genuinely trying to understand why he, in Janus' perspective, doesn't make the right choices and that has a lot to do with the fact that he doesn't trust Janus enough to let him guide him.

4 - Somos vivos (We're alive) - Remus

Cw: mention to suicide

Always always suicidal / And for that I'm proud / cause we never know / if we know for real

WE'RE ALIVE / BUT WE'RE BORN AGAIN WITH EVERY MISTAKE WE MAKE / WHEN ARE WE GOING TO STOP / HIDING OUR HANDS?

This kinda gives me "Fuck it" vibes, you know the song that is on Remus' playlist, because they both basically say "nothing really matters so just be yourself"

5 - Serpente (Serpent)- Patton

Specifically after SvS Redux

Unexpected things / Push down those /Who hold themselves to the edge, in denial / Lonely / In the crowd / The only strength I have is that the morning is coming soon / The morning is coming soon

I just imagine this as Patton finally understanding that he can't deny change and as much as life may seen horrible, the tomorrow will come and with it, new opportunities.

5 - Erva Venenosa (Poison Ivy) - Janus

This is not that deep I just think Janus would enjoy something like this as his villain song. I especially recommend watching the music video for this one because it's almost like a short movie and you don't have to understand the lyrics to enjoy it

She looks like a rose / From afar she is beautiful / She's all downtrodden /Other people's joy bother her

She behaves as if she's insane / Flattens the mouth well / She looks like a witch / A bad angel / She hates everybody / She doesn't stop for even a second /Doing wickedness is her ideal

6 - Não conte para a mamãe (Don't tell Mama) - Remus

Okay so this song is not actually brazilian, it's the Brazilian version of a song in english which is also in Janus' playlist, but I'm putting this version here because it just feels like Remus' take in a song Janus enjoys, it's more explicitly, definently more sexual then sensual and also replaces the elegance with dark humor, so take a look if you want

That's it for today, if this post gets a good amount of likes I might do a second post focusing on songs that I think apply to specific sander sides ships!

[arsonistsblog]

BTS as Melanie Martinez lyrics

(someone did this already,either the mha fandom or an army,pls lmk if u know who did so i can credit them!)

TW- darker lyrics

SEOKJIN

“you say the cruelest words,you used to break my heart,cuz i’m over here working my ass of...”

-show & tell

YOONGS

“your body is imperfectly perfect,everyone wants what the other one’s working.”

-orange juice

HOSEOK

“dont let them fuck you,hunny just say ,recess im tired’ .”

-recess

NAMJOON

“teach him to keep it in his pants and tell him to stop.”

-strawberry shortcake

JIMIN

“kids are still depressed when you dress them up.”

-sippy cup

TAEHYUNG

“i’ve never fit into any category,always deemed an outcast.”

-fire drill

JUNGKOOK

“i never signed up for your drama.”

-drama club

MASTERLIST

[neilfuckingperrydeservedbetter]

Taylor swift’s songs of the month that made my heart feel something (this is going to be long so feel free to skip) (also i yell too much in this) (well, yell is not the right word, cause, you know, i’m writing, but y’all get it):

Lover: I CAN'T. I LITERALLY CRY TO THIS SONG. I WANT TO FEEL THIS FEELING SO BAD, GOD. THE FUCKING BRIDGE WHEN SHE SAID "AND YOU SAVE ALL YOUR DIRTIES JOKES FOR ME AND IN EVERY TABLE I SAVE YOU A SEAT LOVEEER" I WANT TO DIE. IF YOU STAB ME IN THE LEFT BOOB IT HURTS LESS OKAY. AND DON'T MAKE ME START IN THE I LOVE YOU THREE SUMMER NOW THING AND THE GUITAR STRINGS SCARS.

Come back... Be here: This song is underrated and it slaps. It makes me go feral. YOU CAN HEAR THE PAIN IN HER VOICE. The " i told myself don't get attached but in my mind i played it back faster than the plane that took you". sorry?!?!?!?! JAKE GYLLENHALL YOU DON'T DESERVE RIGHTS (yes, i had to google his name to write it right). AND THE "THIS IS FALLING IN LOVE IN THE CRUELEST WAY, THIS IS FALLING FOR YOU WHEN YOU'RE WORLDS AWAY". I prefer dying pls

Dear John: BREAKS. MY. HEART. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. THE PAIN, THE FEELINGS, I CAN'T. This song is a masterpiece, every single lyric is like a punch in my heart. Miss Swift is you want me to  cry, just say it, okay. The lyrics "maybe is me and my blind optimism to blame or maybe is you and your sick need to give love then take it away" and "i looked back and regret how i ignored when they said run as fast as you can". Ouch. OUCH.

Sad Beautiful Tragic: It's RED season so i'm listening to the album a lot. This is one of my favorites and SO UNDERRATED TOO. THE GUITAR IN THE BEGINIG. HOW SHE SINGS IN ALMOST A WISHPER. SO SOFT, AND YOU CAN SEE A GLIMPSE OF HER ANGER IN THE BRIDGE. THE "WORDS HOW LITTLE THEY MEAN WHEN YOU'RE A LITTLE TOO LATE" AND "YOU'VE GOT YOUR DEMONS AND DARLIND THEY ALL LOOK LIKE ME" AND THE BRIDGE. EXCUSE ME?!?!??!! I CAN'T. TOO MUCH.

Well, this is me losing it about taylor songs, as always. I’m writing some more posts about her music because i can’t help it. Thank you for all that read all my screaming :)

[whumpprompts]

Songs that inspire me

I love music. It’s probably my number one source of inspiration. And since I’m probably not alone in this, I decided to put together a little list of songs that inspire me. I divided them by the inspiration, since different songs inspire different kinds of things. Maybe this can be helpful to some of you! 

Naturally, there are more songs that I listen to than just these, but these are the ones that inspire me the most. 

List under the cut!

Happy platonic love :’)

Aka all things sweet, bromantic, and lovey - songs that say “I would die for you” and make me want to write some fluffy found family.  

save me from the monster in my head by Welshly Arms. // Cute, soft, loving music. Lyrics tell about the feeling of hopelessness and fear, and asking the other person to stay by their side and save them. This was released last week and oh boi I love it.

Brother by Kodaline. // One of my favorite songs. Slow and tender. Chorus says “If I was dying on my knees, You would be the one to rescue me, And if you were drowned at sea, I'd give you my lungs so you could breathe.” Need I say more? Ultimate bromance. 1000/10.

All My Friends by The Revivalists. // I don’t know what genre this is. Modern rock, maybe?? No idea. Also idk what sort of vibe this song gives off, but it gives a vibe. I just love the lyrics! The me-person of the song is in their twenties, living their best life, getting high with their friends. They know the friends will stay by their side. Not too emotional of a song, but it’s so cute! The music is happy and the singer sounds good.

Up Down by Boy Epic. // This song has a more cinematic sound to it. Lots of instruments, it sounds amazing. And honestly, I don’t even know why this song reminds me of familiar/platonic love so much, but it does. The lyrics that go “I’m barely breathing, but I’ll follow you down” and “Still fighting my demons, but I’ll follow you down” just hit me somewhere so deep into my emotions, it’s amazing.

My Blood by Twenty One Pilots. // The sound is cute, but I have no idea how to describe it. More pop-ish than rock-ish, and it’s energetic but not too much so. It’s very bromancy, and I adore the lyrics. It’s all about “I’ll go with you,” which, thanks to this song, has become a phrase I want to use in my book at some point. 

Carry You by Ruelle. // Slow, tender, sweet, so loving???? Picks up towards the end, so it also has a slight cinematic feel to it. The me-person swears to keep carrying you when you can’t find your own wings. You’ve lost the will to fight, but she’ll stay by your side. It’s... so many shades of beautiful. The pinnacle of love. it does not get more tender than this. 1000000000/10. But also kinda sad? So this definitely belongs to both categories, this one and the one that comes after this.

Hold on for Your Life by Tommee Profitt, ft. Sam Tinnesz. // A cinematic song that starts out very slow and sad but gradually builds up, and it sounds AMAZING. The me-person is begging for someone to hold on, to not let go - they refuse to say goodbye, because it can’t be time yet. The me-person is also afraid, but they vow “no matter where you go, I’ll find you.” I wasn’t sure whether to put this song into this group or the next one, because it’s kind of both; it’s sad, but also powerful and loving.

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Not so happy platonic love

Aka all things angsty and broken. These songs say “You’re gone but I need you, please don’t leave me alone” or “you aren’t the person I know anymore,” and make me want to take that found family and tear them from each other in the angstiest, cruelest way imaginable.

Brother by Sam Tinnesz. // This song is half acoustic, half.. not. And since I am a sucker for acoustic guitar, I love the sound. The lyrics are angsty as hell! The me-person’s brother has lost his way, and has apparently done something bad or turned evil, and the me-person is scared and worried for him. At the end, they deem “I can’t save you.”

Hell or High Water by Billy Raffoul. // I’d like to thank the video game Days Gone for showing me this song. It’s slow, emotional, and only has guitar for the music. It’s just... aaaah. The me-person has lost their loved one and is, naturally, heartbroken, but they vow not to give up because the loved one wouldn’t want them to. This is a gorgeous song. 

Man or a Monster by Sam Tinnesz, ft Zayde Wolf. // Some sort of rock, but the slower kind. Builds up towards the end. They ask the question, “are you a man or a monster?” and can’t tell which side “you” are on. Whether or not this is aimed at a platonic loved one is up to interpretation, since I don’t think the song ever specifies who it’s singing to, but that’s how I’ve chosen to see it because it sounds more longing than angry.

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Fuck you, you can’t win, you can’t hold me down, go die, I am (or will be) amazing

Aka all the songs that show a middle finger to some evil, annoying entity, and swear to beat them. These make me want to write a scene where the protagonist gains second wind and faces against the antagonist.

Middle Finger by Bohnes. // Again, a style of music I can’t put into a genre. But it sounds powerful and victorious in a... I don’t know, youthful, cocky way? Not too heavy, definitely more pop-ish than rock-ish. The lyrics go “So I put my middle finger up, I’m done being your slave” and “Fists are clenched, I'm fighting, Soul has been ignited, Ain't got time for dyin'.” I’ve known this song for years but I always come back to it when I need this type of motivation.

New Kings by Sleeping Wolf. // Not too fast, but it sounds... dedicated, in a way. Like the singer has really had enough. It’s some type of rock, I guess? And the lyrics all about how the enemy will not win - the heroes refuse to “lay down and die,” and they refuse to stop until they all see that they’re the new kings. Also, I love the part where he sings “And you call yourselves an army?” like yesssss burn them!!!

Bury Me Face Down by grandson. // One of my favorite songs!! A mix between rock and rap, in an alternative sort of way? Not too fast, not too slow. He sings about an army fighting him, but that he won’t give up - and when he dies, you gotta bury him face down. He’s been on the run for his whole life, and he is no stranger to trouble. “It’s only just begun.” 

White Flag by Bishop Briggs. // Some sort of rock again. Powerful, unrelenting. I heard this years ago, but I still come back to it whenever I need a song that sounds good and is about not surrendering. The me-person vows never to wave their white flag - she’s going to keep fighting until she wins. Also, the line “Don't you know I ain't afraid to shed a little blood?” hits me so hard into my “omg that’s amazing please never stop” nerve, it’s amazing.

Chosen One by Valley of Wolves. // Rock that also gives a very subtle country-vibe to me, but I don’t listen to country and I have no idea what it sounds like so it might not :D I like their rhythm though! The song is positive but not too so. It’s basically all about how the me-person is the chosen one and how he’ll overcome any obstacle. 

(Also most other songs by Valley of Wolves. All I’ve heard have been about “I’m the best, I will beat you, I will win. Especially the songs Born Bold, Keep on keeping on, Ready for the Fire, Lions Inside, Out for Blood, and Now’s My Time. I don’t listen to them much anymore but they used to inspire me a lot so I’m throwing them out there.)

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The battle has been long and I don’t know if we can win anymore - but we need to keep trying

Aka the songs that are all about the desperate, hopeless fight no one thinks they can win anymore. These make me want to write a suicide mission, but not the explosive kind - more like the kind that starts with the characters crying and begging the suicide-person not to go, and ends with the survivors crying for the one who sacrificed themselves for the others.

Soldier by Tommee Profitt, ft Fleurie. // A slow cinematic song full of sadness that gradually builds up. Fleurie’s voice is amazing. The singer begs the Soldier to keep marching on through the dangers and hardships. One of my favorite go-to songs of all time when writing/planning this type of scene.

Heroes by Valley of Wolves. // Slower, emotional, lots of instruments which I love! Gets gradually stronger as well. There is a fight that seems hopeless, but they refuse to give in. But they also sing “Who will save us?” and “Sometimes you gotta let it go, leave it up to a hero.”

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I’m alone, and honestly, the world would be better off if I died (OR everything has gone to shit in general)

Aka the songs that are full of self-loathing. These are so useful for writing scenes where the character has lost everything. They’re at their lowest point and wonder if they even have a reason to keep fighting anymore - and they blame themselves for it. (OR the songs where things has gone to shit in general - the me-person may not blame themselves, but things are still very bad.)

Rock Bottom by grandson. // The non-self-loathing kind. Typical grandson sound, a mix of rap and rock and pop that sounds so damn good. “Tell me how did we get here? And where the fuck do we go now?” sums up the song - they’ve hit rock bottom and they don’t know how to get up anymore.

The Mystic by Adam Jensen. // Slower and angsty! A soft sound. Some type of rock. The me-person is a drug addict who’s hit their lowest point. He tries to stay clean, but his family has abandoned him, and he thinks no one is going to worry or even notice if he went missing - not until they found his body from the river.  

Losing Hold by Esterly, ft. Austin Jenckes. // Oh my GOD, this is The Angstiest song I’ve ever heard. The singer sings to a “you,” describing how you’re looking at your “last chance down below” and how you’re losing hold. This is the PERFECT song for writing/brainstorming scenes where a character is truly and utterly hopeless, broken, and alone. Everything about this song sounds what being hopeless feels like - the lyrics, the music, the singer’s voice... An amazing song. 10000/10.

Down So Low by Royal Deluxe. // Slow, a bit darker. Another song directed to a “you.” Basically, the whole song is the singer telling you how badly you fucked everything up and how it’s all your fault even though you keep blaming others. It also gets kinda hopeless. “How deep into the ground can one man dig a hole?” and “Leaving you crying out, ‘have mercy on my soul!’”

Despicable by grandson. // Slow, dark, self-loathing intensifies. “If I were you, I wouldn’t love me neither.” I don’t really listen to this song that much, but it’s great for brainstorming those kind of extremely hopeless scenes.

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Miscallenous 

Aka songs that inspire me in some other ways!

Solo by Prismo. // A nice mix between rock and, eh, electronic, I guess? This is a genre that I like a lot. Honestly, it’s probably called alternative rock. But anyway! This me-person is alone and he’s teaching himself to feel better. This inspires me with like, the positive change a character might go through. 

Sinners by Barns Courtney. // THE VOICE. Mmmm god his voice is the best voice I have ever heard. Basically, this is like softer rock. It has a really soft, pleasant, slower sound with lots of guitar. Nice. It’s about this me-person who’s low on luck, and he’s drinking with a bunch of “sinners.” He also sings “I must be good for something” which kinda inspires me to write a very specific character in a very specific scene. So it’s kinda, “I’ve been fucked over by lady luck but we can still drink tonight” mixed with some hope that maybe he isn’t a totally worthless good-for-nothing.

Pilgrims by New Dialogue. // Some sort of pop, alternative-ish, maybe? Super happy-sounding. They want to be pilgrims and settle somewhere better, somewhere safer. “Where we’re going, you could be anyone.” Honestly, this sounds like the ending soundtrack to a movie about a group of family who struggled to find a new, safe home in some foreign, scary land. It’s so... “yay!” :D sounds very happy. It inspires me in the “and they lived happily ever after” sort of way.

Who Will Save Your Soul by Esterly, ft. Young Youth. // Honestly, I have no idea what type of genre this is. It’s... a little cinematic, little rock-ish, little electronic, little pop-ish, little rap-ish. So :D yeah. But it is a good song! I mostly listen to it for the chorus that says “Who will save your soul, after the lies you told them, who will save your soul if you won’t save your own?” Idk. It’s a good song. Inspires me to create bad guys.

Listen Out Loud by DREAMERS. // A song I only discovered a few days ago. Pretty happy and pop-ish, the singer has a great voice. He sings about looking for answers in the world and finding them from all around himself when he listens out loud. It’s a message that inspires me to write a specific type of character - the type who’s curious and happy and seeks to understand the world.

We’re Tired by The Blancos ft Joyner Lucas. // Sounds so fucking good?? And honestly, this is an amazing song about the shittyness of selfishness, inequality, and oppression in general, which I love, but I also love this because it sounds so emotional and makes me want to write dystopian.