#is it the stabby one or the one where they get separated?

[lauronk]

foolish me, i thought that posting a work would mean that my wips count decrease

and yet, here i sit, with 16 wips when i used to only have like 12-14. and i currently have all of them open in tabs as i try to see what sparks the ✨vibes✨ and the ✨inspo✨

[ellestrade]

What do you think makes a good Damian Wayne fanfic ? Like what are your standards and red flags when you're reading one

Usually, I would first look at the 'Damian Wayne-centric' tags on ao3 and go from there. I don't think I hold any fics up to a certain standard, though being able to read any is important to me— that means proper paragraphing, grammar, etc.

I know that most, if not all writers on ao3 are amateur writers, novice at best and, if I'm lucky, have been writing since the dawn of Wattpad, so it's not fair for me to expect top-tier writing/characterisation. Everyone always has some kind of trope to fall back into, myself included. It's just a matter if said trope is annoying or not to consume.

"Good Damian Wayne fanfics" are, itself, subjective— because good fanfics, for me, means that there are no attempts at butchering his character, along with his loved ones, and that includes Talia, Ra's, Maya and Mara, etc. If I open a fic and it's all just a grandiose of people putting down Talia (making her a bad/abusive mother) just to have Bruce hugs his son, then I'm closing the tab.

That being said, here are my red flags/pet peeves when it comes to reading a fanfic:

Any, and I mean any variant consisting of bashing the al-Ghuls.

"Talia al-Ghul is a bad mother"

"Talia al-Ghul is a rapist"

"Ra's al-Ghul is a creep"

"Damian is a bad sibling"

Usually, any fics that consist of these types of fics often came out as xenophobic or straight up racist— taking Grant Morrison's run (primarily Talia's character assassination) as gospel, or never reading canon material as a whole.

Of course, credits where it's due, there are some, and I mean a very small some, fics that don't transpire that image— using the tag that to simply convey Damian's time in the League, or phrasing it in a way that Talia/Ra's were an abuser once victim. However, making them bad in comparison is just a no-go for me.

Also, making Talia a rapist is a one way ticket for me to block you— because not only that it is wrong, but it also shows that you don't care enough to do thorough research and just take it as it is; Talia, pre-Morrison, was depicted as this kind and loving woman. She was studying medicine when she met Bruce. They genuinely have Chemistry together. She was also a victim of abuse herself, and she would rather die than inflict harm upon others on purpose. She loves her son, she loves her husband, she loves her family and she also loves herself.

Also, the al-Ghuls are also some of the most affectionate family there are— at least, of course, prior to the whole character assassination for the sake of making Bruce seem like the better parent in comparison. They aren't afraid to show genuine affection to one another, becoming physical and shows their devotion beyond what words could measure— which, is , unfortunate, since they're presented in Western media, and God knows how bad someone would interpret a relationship if 'I love you's aren't being exchanged regularly like therapy talks.

Dare I say, they might actually be better than the BatFam 🤷🤷 but then I might get hunted down for sports so I'll keep that opinion to myself, for now.

I'm also going to redirect you to this one lovely account, @rasalghul777 and read their take(s) on Brutalia. Here's a starting post and this one if you'd like to start. This person makes wonderful posts regarding Brutalia and the al-Ghuls as a whole than what I could ever conspire and I applaud them for it.

White savior complex

"Damian got his love for animals from [insert any BatFamily members here]"

"Damian learned to love through being with BatFam"

Again, this could also be read along with my first point, but can also be seen separately— I genuinely cannot stand when Damian was written in a way that he was a 'feral, stabby boi' prior his transgression into the BatFamily since it conveys distasteful perception of the Arabic people as a whole; them being uncultured or even uncivilized.

It's gross, I hate it, get it away from me.

Also, Damian inheriting his love for animals from anyone else other than the al-Ghuls is just pure fanon bullshit— because that means you have no perception of what the League of Assassins really are and just takes everything the fandom writes at face value; the League (including Talia and Ra's) aren't some 2-dimensional villains who kills. Reducing a villain to a mere trope just to prop up your white boy isn't going to make me like them. It just takes away the fun of it.

People just love to forget the 'eco' in 'eco-terrorist', which Ra's is.

If anything, Damian would inherit his genuine and deep love for animals and nature from him.

It's worth mentioning that the League of Assassins doesn't kill people just for the sake of violence— there's a reason why they're being categorized as eco-terrorists, and not the other category people love to associate Arabs with; they kill with reason. Similar to Poison Ivy, they specifically target any organisation that brings ruins to Earth and nature as a whole.

On another note, writing Damian as 'uncivilized' or 'feral' is just plain wrong. While it certainly can be cute, in a sort of gremlin-esque, little brother way (Lord knows how much I love my little brother, but simultaneously wanted to (subliminally) throw a chair at him) but depicting him as this one child that goes around stabbing everyone unprompted rubs me the wrong way.

This goes along with my first note, but Damian was raised as a prince when he was in the League; there were some instances where soldiers who came to pick him up refer to him as "Young prince". He has manners. He knows what to say and what to do when being confronted by the media. If anything, Damian would adapt 'Gotham's Darling Boy' facade faster than BatFam girlies mischaracterise the next POC character.

Damian does love his mother and grandfather and his family back in the League very, very much. Just because he doesn't convey it in a conventional, traditional way, doesn't mean he doesn't know how. He has his own ways of saying 'I love you's of his own.

People that clearly consume more fanon media in comparison to canon.

Tim Drake stans. Like, as a whole.

Let me begin by saying I actually do not care on how you plan to enjoy your nice little character trope, but believe me when I say that there are some weights to what's famously transpired in the fandom spaces.

It's the "fandom affects canon space" phenomenon all over again.

It should go without saying that what goes in the fandom stays in the fandom, and vice versa. Like I said before, people tend to fall back to their favourite trope— writing characters in a certain way, conveying certain messages, etc. However, in the midst of your 'creative freedom', it's easy to forget that these characters are not yours.

Fandom is derived from the canon substance, that's why it's so flexible and allows creative freedom in the first place. The consumer can decide what's canon in the fandom space (rejecting what's real), though it's important to remember that canon is still the blueprint and shouldn't be thoroughly ignored in favour of your dumb little incorrect quotes. Rejecting everything just means that you're creating an Oc, which, atp is what you should be doing instead of DTI a canon character.

It's why we got gems like these:

(I have reached tumblr maximum capacity for images, but know that there's more)

Again, do what you want, I don't care! But remember that when you're depicting certain character dynamics like these, it also affects other potential fans' views and first impressions of said character.

I don't want to go off tangent longer than necessary— but I actively avoid any variants of, "Hurt Tim Drake" tags on ao3. Mostly because mischaracterisation awaits me. The rest are because his fans are genuinely obnoxious and (more often than not) have little to no comprehension to actual canon substance.

I think that's all that I could muster up. Sorry this post is long, lol, but I got carried away.

[walpu]

walp walp hear me out

remember that trailblazer scene with firefly and how she just just gets stabby stabbed by the creature (memory zone meme i think)

and + Aventurine having access to the 'real' dreamscape, combine that with bodyguard! reader who will go through hell and back to make sure Aventurine will. Live.

reader follows aven during the entirety of the Penacony quest, including when Black Swan teleports the both of them to the real memory zone. (also, does anyone else feel like bodyguard! reader and Trailblazer would be besties... no, just me?)

now, keep in mind, Aven and reader have a... complicated bond. IPC workers here and there say their dating, the Trailblazer has straightup asked if they would just get a room (you get their vibe, you can go along with the secret assassin! bodyguard! reader req i sent in)

a little bit more insight on their dynamic (again, going with the assassin reader thing, its already known between the two atp, so this can be set after that period), Aven wants to love reader, wants to hold them close, and wants their affection, but dammit, he just cant bring himself to. Not when he's sure he'll just hurt everyone that comes close to him (his sister, cough cough)

and reader has the same mindset, they love Aven, as a boss, as that annoying but endearing friend, and perhaps as more. But they have blood, the lives of people that they've unlawfully taken, not to mention, they are 100% sure Aven would never love a person who killed just for monetary income.

now, here's where the real show starts. There's also another assassin (seriously, Duke Inferno should save his manpower) following reader and Aven. Safe to say, only one is making it out alive. How the assassin followed the two of them? No fucking clue, but somehow it does.

After i assume beating the living shit out of hordes of memory zone monsters, the assassin appears, and just when Aventurine's unsuspecting?? Boom, goes in for the kill.

Yeah, too bad. Aven's not dying. But reader is! Yeah, in a act of (cliche) protection, reader allowed themselves to be the one to suffer from the attack. (Bonus if they get decapitated, or just stabbed like how Trailblazer was by Cocolia). Aven will never forget the way that he just- watched reader's body fall, the light just gone from their eyes.

Anyways, he doesn't even get to hold their body. You just- poof into bubbles like Firefly did. The last thing he has left of his beloved bodyguard? Just a simple red earring, matching the one he wore. Nothing left.

Okay, im also going to cope here that the whole shitshow with Aven and Acheron did not happen, he returns to the room that reader had, and he just... stands there. He takes in the way that half of the room was messy, half of it was untouched. So much like them, unpredictable and just had a touch of the weirdness he loved so damn much.

(Bonus if you want a happy scenario, reader's alive and well, afterall, dying in the dreamscape doesn't kill anyone. Reader is probably smiling very awkwardly while they stare at a teary eyed Aventurine, then they make out /hj)

yay another rant, i had this idea for days, the decapitation part may or may not have been plaguing me (should i be concerned), anyways, thanks for listening to my word vomit, stay safe and stay healthy <33

feel like falling on my knees and begging to forgive me for taking so long this spring doesn't let me breath istg. I've got this request before 2.1 and only got to it now that's why Aven is ghosting me.

bodyguard!reader "dying" in the dreamscape to protect Aventurine

sort of a sequel to this but can be read as a separate work as well, the main thing you need to know is that reader was originally an assassin sent by Duke Inferno but they've changed their mind and stayed by Aven's side

notes - gn!reader, angst, unestablished relationship, no beta

You both knew the trip to Penacony would be difficult. You, in particular, knew that something big and very sinister is coming, judging by the way Aventurine danced around the subject, not giving you full information.

You may not know all the details of Aventurine's plan but you know him well enough to realize that he's planning on doing something extremely reckless and dangerous.

So you do your best to protect him. To shiels him from any possible danger, to keep him within your reach.

Of course Aventirune notices. How can he not notice when he already keeps his eye on you most of the time anyway. And just as you're trying to look out for him, he wants to looks out for you.

This mission already could be considered suicidal and he doesn't want you to be caught in this. Better to keep you in the dark, away from it.

Yet he can't help but selfishly enjoy your attention, your tenderness. You go out of your ways to make sure he's fine and he feels so undeserving of it. How can you be so kind when he's keeping so much from you?

You've seen him at his worst and you've stayed. You've proven so many times that you care for him not because it's just your job, not because of his money or status but because it's him.

He still struggles to believe in it sometimes. When he feels doubtful , he rubs his cheek against your shoulder in a playful cat-like manner and watches your reaction. Amusement you're trying to hide. Adoration you can't hide.

How can he doubt you? You're the one who should be doubting him.

He wants to melt into you, to be even closer than the two of you already are, but how can he love you without putting you in danger? Without draining your luck, without cursing you?

Sometimes he sees the same struggles in your eyes. When you carefully trace his face with the tips of your gloved fingers, your gaze sometimes lowers and you pull your hand away, as if you're ashamed.

But of what, of what? The blood on your hands? He has it too!

He wants to tell you this, to hold you tight, to never ever let go. The wish is so primal that everyone else can see. The memokeeper giving him a knowing smile as soon as she sees you two together, the masked fool taunting him about the only one willing to listen to him being his loyal dog ("though, judging by the way you look at them, little peacock, you're the one on the leash here~" she says. It feels like even a lower blow than the comments about his past. At least he expected those, but being taunted about his obvious feelings for is new), mx. Stellaron asking you two to get a room with a deadpun expression.

The worst one is the doctor though. Asking Aventurine to focus on the mission, then, in a softer tone, suggesting to tell you more about the plan. "It's foolish to keep it from your most trusted person, gambler. In the end, it may hurt them even more than your obsessive concerns".

If Ratio of all people gives you relationship advice you're doing soooo bad.

Yet Aventurine can't bring himself to listen to his words. He wants you safe and well, and he's sure (he's not sure) he's doing the right thing.

And yet he's wrong. He can't shield you, he can't. One of the richest people in the IPC, one of the Ten Stonehearts, the blessed one, yet he can't protect the one he loves no matter how much he tries. He's cursed, doomed, isn't he?

Damned Duke Inferno. He's dead, annihilated, and yet, somehow, one of his wretched dogs, his sneaky little assassin, finds you two in the depths of the memory zone. Such dedication to the cause!

There are two gunshots. Inferno's little rat and you strike at the same time. Them, aiming at Aventurine, and you, aiming at them. Only one bullet reaches it's target though.

It all happens so fast. You react immediately, covering Aventurine with your body. You move instinctively at the same second you shoot.

When their bullet hits you, you don't even feel it. Maybe because it's still a dreamland? The pain just won't come even though your back feels like it's on fire. You don't understand it yet but your body already starts disappearing.

All you can focus on is Aventurine's wide shocked eyes. His beautiful, beautiful eyes.

You smile weakly at him. That's all he can see before you're gone. He doesn't even have time to reach out to you, to hold you. As if he ever had the privilege of holding his loved ones in their final moments.

You just poof into the blue bubbles.

He rushes into the real world, in your room, praying to any deity that may here for you to be alive and well. It was a dream, not a real world. You can't die in a dream, not really. You weren't even killed by the memory zone meme, surely you're fine!

Yet you're not. You're not here, not anywhere in the hotel. You're truly gone.

He feels everything and nothing at the same time.

Of course, of course, of course he wasn't able to protect you!

How lucky he is, he has avoided death once again! His beloved died to protect him but he has survived! He's so blessed, truly, so blessed!

He finds himself on his knees, on the verge of hysterical laughter. The only thing you left behind is a small red earring he has gifted. And he clatches it so tightly his hand bleeds. Perhaps the pain is the only thing keeping him sane at this moment.

It feels like a cruel joke. It doesn't feel real, it shouldn't be real.

Wait... That's it! It isn't real. It's impossible to die in a dream! It was his theory all along, after all. It must be true. You just can't be dead, you can't, not you too.

His plan hasn't changed, he tells Ratio when he comes to check on Aventurine. He just needs to reach the real Penacony. To reach it and to find you there. You're strong and brave and so wonderful. You're out there somewhere, he just needs to help you to get back to the real world.

He holds into that idea like a madman. It doesn't matter how dangerous it is. It never did, to be honest. But now it's like he can't focus on anything else.

He hasn't feel so despaired in years. He just needs to find you, everything else is meaningless.

So when it's time for the final act, he gets on stage, fears not and doesn't look back.

He still holds his hand behind his back though. Clutching your earrings for dear life.

[impactedfates]

“Not a Pet Darling…” - Various Xianzhou Loufu Characters x GN! Reader

Summary: You go home to your partner and show them the cute fluffy wolf you found!! Can you keep it as a pet? Your partner seems reluctant...why? well it’s a Wooden Lupus…perhaps not the safest option for a companion.

Characters Included (Separate): Jing Yuan, Blade, Luocha, Dan Feng, Fu Xuan, Qingque

Genre: Romantic + Crack(?)

Warnings: None I think

Extra: Dan Fengs part is set during the High-Cloud Quintet days // Not proofread, just a funny idea I had and had to write happy to fix any mistakes tho lol // Dan Feng is probably out of character, just started writing him // Luocha + Qingques one are pretty short

Jing Yuan blinked at you slowly, staring at you and the new canine you brought home that now lay rest on his pillow, your lap. He had just gotten home from work, and wanted to get rewarded by sleeping on your lap, with your fingers running through his hair.

He went home and when he couldn't find you, he went to the garden, only to find a wooden lupus on your lap instead. His eyes narrow as he calmly walks over.

"Dove...what's this?"

"Dog"

The General blinked once, twice and again. Questioning you. How did you manage to tame such...a dangerous animal? An abundance spirit for crying out loud??

"Dove...I...don't think that's a dog"

"No it's name is dog!"

"...Dog?"

He looked at you again, taking a deep breath, noticing the movement from...'dog', he instinctively took out his weapon, to which you quickly caged the canine with your arms and pulled it away.

"Yuan, don't!! It's cute!!"

"...It's dangerous"

You puffed out your cheeks and shook your head, carefully lifting up dog. And made it look at him. Raising one of it's paws you say in a squeaky voice.

"My name is dog, I love you"

"...Dove please..."

You put down the dog back on the ground, it runs around the garden. You stand up and look at your husband.

"You're having favouritism with Mimi right now"

"HOW DOES MIMI FIT INTO THIS"

"SHE JUST DOES."

Blade called out your name again, and again and again. Where are you?? You had to go home. HE HAS THE FUCKING GOVERNMENT ON HIS ASS DON'T DO THIS TO HIM.

.

.

.

WHY ARE YOU CARRYING A WOODEN LUPUS??

He quickly walked up to you and grabbed your shoulder.

"Love...what are you doing?"

"Adopting a friend for you"

"Why for me?"

"...C'mon...you know why"

Blade is personally offended by that comment, but he loves you so you get away with it...for now...

"Can we keep the dog?"

"It's a wolf...but fine, I'm not a dog person though"

Cue him getting the dog it's own mini home, it's own toys and loving it more then he loves you/hj (He loves you more I swear)

You didn't expect Luocha to agree so fast about adopting the dog. You couldn't even ask, he just took one look at you, one look at the dog and gave you...a look that said '...w h y'

But he agrees, (reluctantly) I mean, you tamed it right? He doesn't mind having a dog if it a) makes you happy and b) it behaves. He will say that if it decides to do a stabby stab then he'll have to throw a coffin on it.

And now you have an Abundance wolf following the two of you. You have all the reasonability's, if you ask nicely enough, Luocha might pay for dog things. Make sure he's in a good mood though, not that he'd say no it's just...it's easier to get him to buy a bunch of things if he is.

You named the wolf Bob, Luocha does not approve.

Dan Feng quickly pulled you away from the wolf and quickly hugged you close to him protectively.

"My darling, please get away from that...thing"

"IT'S NOT A THING, IT'S NAME IS FANG"

"YOU NAMED IT??"

You nodded and tried your best to get out of his iron grip but he refused to let go. Too confused on why you not only named a dangerous wolf but also it seems to actually...like you?? What black magic did you use to tame an abundance beast??

Eventually he gives into your pleas, especially since 'Fang' seems to not be...dangerous currently. But he does keep a close eye on it.

.

.

.

"Darling...stop petting Fang...I want attention too"

The Vidyadhara man said, plopping his head on your shoulder as your fingers ran through the fur of the wolf. You slightly glanced at him and mouthed 'One minute'

"You've been at this for hourrss...I am the High Elder, listen to me"

He muttered, wrapping his arms around you. Looking at you like a kicked puppy.

"You're an elder? *Dramatic Gasp* Grandpa"

"YOU'RE MARRIED TO ME."

"No"

Was Fu Xuan immediate response when you entered your shared home. She crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes at you. The wolf behind you peaked and looked at the pink haired lady.

"...what do you me-"

"You're not adopting it"

"But-"

"No buts"

You pouted a bit at your girlfriends word. Clearly she had read your future and found what you were going to do...maybe you could try to convince her anyways?

.

.

.

You did not convince her.

Qingque nearly threw her game of majong at the dog. It bonked it's head and you were quick to hug it and check to see if it was okay.

"...[Name]...you can't have that"

"Why not?"

"...well damn I can't argue with that actually"

You smiled triumphantly at your win. You two ended up adopting 11 more.

This was just a random idea I had when I was meant to be sleeping, had to write it lmao. If y'all don't know what the Wooden Lupus are, it's the white wolves that can summon more wolves in HSR.

I had fun writing this ngl, wished I had more ideas for Luocha and Qingque but couldn't. I hope you found this entertaining/funny anyways :D

If anyone wants to do this idea as well you can, you can credit me if you want (preferably) but not necessary. But I would like to still get tagged if you do, wanna read your interpretation of the characters with this idea :>

[superkooku]

Have you listened/watched epic? And if you have what’s your thoughts?

Personally I think it’s a good thing to show to a friend new to Greek mythology. I just finished watching the last saga and I have to say I loved it, beautiful. Sad it ended tho :(

It might not be very accurate but I love the hardwork the cast put into it and so I love it very much

My thoughts on Epic the musical

So yes, I know about Epic. I even participated in the secret santa thing and am what we may call 'a winion'.

I just finished watching the livestream too ! I especially loved seeing the cast members were reacting to the sagas (Luke Holt was so funny in this 🤣. Also, Jorge carrying Mico like a baby in 'Just a man' and Mason being extra the whole time... so many gems in that livestream)

Since Epic is finished AND I have animatics of the Ithaca saga, I'll use this opportunity to make a more in-depth review of the musical. Instead of separating it in "good" or "bad", I'm reviewing it criteria per criteria.

The cast

Like I previously said, I LOVE the cast chemistry. They're all so fun and lively. I follow some of them separately, like Janani or Troy Doherty, and they're just delightful. Especially Troy as Hermes, he always manages to make me laugh. Every single time 😂.

Also, he gives me a bit of Mettaton vibes since he's extravagant, always over the top and a bit self-absorbed (the Hermes persona, I mean, not Troy Doherty himself). Maybe that's why I like him so much :3

And of course, there's Jorge, mr. Jalapeño, the man with the plan. I love how both passionate and humble he is, how he takes the time to thank everyone and just how much of a bundle of positive energy he is. I know it's an internet persona, but what I can see from him is some hopefully really nice guy in real life too.

Anyways, awesome cast chemistry, everyone made me laugh and they're all having a good time.

The music

This music is so beautiful 🥰. All the motifs, the emotions, the instruments, the voices ! If I had to rate Epic from the music alone, it would be 5 stars. I'm not saying this in a professional angle or anything, it's my personal feeling.

Seriously, I don't really have that much to say about the music because, to me, it's just that good. I love the variety, how different instruments synch themselves and, yeah.

The characters

Annnnd that's where the blind positive praise stops, unfortunately 😂.

Don't get me wrong, it's not awful either and there are good points. My favorite Epic characters are Hermes and Athena.

The rest ? It's mixed. In order not to make this too long, I'll focus on only some of them.

The story is very character-driven so I won't really delve into it in detail.

Odysseus : he's a good protagonist, especially in the first act. His dilemma is interesting, he has a strong personality and I like that he is just a broken man and not some mighty overlord... except in the Thunder and Vengeance sagas. I feel Jorge exaggerated the monster message a bit too much, imo. Odysseus is supposed to be a witty liar, a warrior of the mind. Not someone like Achilles who solves problems by fighting or fights gods like Heracles, much less freaking Poseidon.

Poseidon : okay ! I liked him in the first act, because FINALLY Poseidon isn't a surfer dude. He's a terrifying force of nature that was angered by mortal hubris (though the hubris thing isn't explained by Epic). In Get in the water, he kept his intimidating side. Because he's, yk, the king of the oceans, one of the most powerful Olympian gods. But his defeat partially ruined him for me 😂. It just doesn't make sense. Why is Odysseus afraid of Scylla and even tip-toes around Hermes, who is friendly, when he can stabby-stab Poseidon ? Why didn't Poseidon counterattack? So many questions.

Zeus : my problem with Zeus is easier to explain. Again, he was awesome in the first act, less so in the second. What I loved initially is how regal he was. Powerful, intimidating, kingly, but not evil either. He warns Odysseus of the gods' will and of fate, which always realizes itself in mythology. In Thunder Bringer, he's fine. His lustful and flighty side is shown, but we could interpret his intervention as avenging Helios and punishing the ones who ate the cows, instead of "Zeus is evil". But in God Games ? He's so pettyyyyy and childish. Where is the kingly attitude ? This "Beast Zeus" should come against Kronos or Typhon, or maybe when Athena and the others threatened his position. Not after a freaking game ! He just strikes Athena with thunder because she won fair and square. At LEAST Luke Holt absolutely killed it, so it's cool to listen to.

Penelope : she's underdeveloped :( . Okay, her bond with Odysseus was respected, they're adorable together. On her own ? Eh, she's fine. Which is a shame because she simply didn't have enough room to exist outside of Odysseus. Also, the fact that she doesn't interact once with her son is criminal imo.

I do have some other issues with characters like Circe and Calypso (basically they're declawed compared to the Odyssey), whereas I'm completely fine with others like Eurylochus, Telemachus or every god except Zeus and Poseidon. Though they're not perfectly accurate either but I don't have problems with them.

The crew in general is also underdeveloped, so I didn't feel much for them (until discovering the scrapped Elpenor and Perimedes songs/lh). They played their roles correctly.

I hated the suitors (that's a positive in Epic) and laughed when Antinous died. Though I wished they were more pathetic and less threatening. Musically it'd be worse but story-wise more fitting.

The story

Overall, it's fine. Most of the best points come from the Odyssey itself, the one change I liked the most was having Odysseus and Poseidon meet (not the way it ended though).

Also, story-wise, I prefer act 1 over act 2, because it's less over the place and more grounded.

But emotion-wise and music-wise, forgetting about the Odyssey, act 2 wins the cake.

Those were my thoughts on Epic :3

I tried not to judge it too much according to the Odyssey and some of my friends are more demanding on that plan (for perfectly legitimate reasons btw). But it's hard to separate Epic from the wonderful work of Homer and it's lacking in some areas.

Still, this journey was very fun, I love all the passion Jorge, the singers and the animatic artists put in, there are a lot of good things about it (I can't mention everything). I don't want to rate it because it's too rigid of a system. I listen to the songs on loop and, ultimately, I'm thankful Epic exists :)

I may come back to this post and reblog stuff if I have new relevant thoughts to add. I'll probably rank the sagas in another post.

[crowsintheforest]

it's been a few weeks, by the time I post this, since I finished wind and truth. mostly I wanted to write out my thoughts as best I can, think on it some more, because for the first 48h after I finished I mostly was just laying around like

this got out of control so putting my thoughts behind a cut. tl;dr, book good, I have lots of thoughts, can't wait for 2031 or whenever we get book 6 (and also the next mistborn trilogy, ghostblood trilogy, my guy)

overall, I really liked it! sanderson makes very breezy high fantasy books: characters who are easy to love, big world-shaking plots with strong small-scale interpersonal stuff, themes of love despite the horrors, and some of the most fascinating magic systems around. we got to see a bunch of that last one all tossed together, with all the world hopping going on.

it's been really neat seeing sanderson improve as a writer. while I don't think this is necessarily my favorite sanderson book (or my favorite stormlight, for that matter), WaT shows off how much he's grown as a writer and a storyteller. using 1400 pages to maximally show 10 days of story, across multiple perspectives, nations, and worlds, gives him a lot of room to expand to a breaking point, and he manages to hold it all together, even weaving themes of the power of collaboration and interpersonal responsibility, the false promise of acceptance without responsibility, the value of redemption through choosing over and over again to change, and how kaladin stormblessed is able to be exactly where he's needed at just the right time.

(extremely minor nitpick, but I do wish he'd lay off of using literally so often)

the plot was fine, and I was pleasantly surprised at how easy it was to keep track, even with fifteen billion things going on (if you're reading this far, you probably know what this book is about, but here's my best shot: over the course of 10 days before the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny of dalinar v odium, dalinar and navani try to figure out why Honor died and end up with the worst babysitting gig; shallan tries to do a stabby and gets sucked into said history along with rlain and renarin, who are just figuring themselves out a bit; kaladin and szeth go on a murder road trip to szeth's home of shinovar; adolin tries his best to keep azir from falling to odium's forces; and venli desperately tries to find a home for her people and herself).

that was long. so I think the easiest way for me to do this is go character by character. so let's start.

I wrote so much I'm sorry

kaladin stormblessed: my emotional support bridgeboy going out there emotionally supporting the most mentally unwell people in this book. his dance with syl was a bright spot (even as szeth got kidnapped for murdering), and he's grown so much. I called him taking the herald position pretty much from the moment it opened for szeth, but that didn't make the journey he's on any less glorious. he's finally going to get a fucking break and hopefully help himself and the others heal. herald of second chances indeed.

also kudos to kal for getting tf out of the line of succession dalinar tried to en-dad him with by fucking off to a completely separate planet. maximum avoidance of lighteyed-ness through maximum acceptance of responsibility. I love him so much.

shallan davar: comparatively, not quite the depth I would have liked for shallan? but like kaladin, a lot of her emotional growth and development was in oathbringer/RoW, so getting to see her cut loose and accept herself, and use that acceptance for maximum output/knife was great. she and kelsier are going to fuck each other up and I am going to giggle with glee.

adolin kholin: I loved adolin before this book, I loved adolin during this book, and I will love adolin forever. his journey in this book is an interesting parallel to dalinar's and kaladin's, accepting his relative lack of supernatural power but also embracing his role as a leader and a helper. he helped maya! he helped his armor spren! he helped yanagawn!!! he used a candelabra in a duel!!!!! finally, he made the leap about oaths v promises before dalinar did, which strikes me as very adolin and also deeply sad because dalinar's dead and adolin never got to tell his dad about his realizations.

quick ot3 aside: I'm not okay that it's kaladin's gifts to shallan (boots to ground her) and adolin (a sword to support him) that got them both through their wedding. I'm not okay that kaladin is the first person they think about to improve themselves, after their spouse. I'm not okay that kaladin thinks of them as inspiration, and hope, and the drink with friends he's never going to get because his body's fuckin buried in shinovar and no one knows he helped to reforge the oathpact. I'm not okay about any of this.

dalinar kholin: so that oaths v promises thing? that dalinar has to accept because, as navani told him halfway through, he's gotta listen before he jumps, even when they're in agreement? yeah. breaking his oath to force a cosmere-level intervention, and make the other shards deal with odium. trading his life, his soul, his freedom, and his legacy, so that others might survive. and he dies protecting his grand-nephew. one of my favorite war criminals in fiction. I'll miss him very much.

szeth-son-neturo: did not expect him to give up his oaths in his apotheosis. in retrospect, very well foreshadowed, and I love that it is a decision that he took into himself, with hope for a future he never thought he deserved. his pokemon trainer journey through shinovar had some great fights in it, but idk, for all that he was the flashback character this time around, I don't feel like I learned anything new about him. maybe this is the end of his story, and I'm okay with that. hey sando can we meet his wife in the next books, she seems cool (and helped him bury kaladin's body for their first interaction, that's wild).

navani kholin: needed more of her. not sure how, and what we got was good, but...agh. I think she suffers the most from the condensed timescale post-RoW.

gavinor kholin: lol sanderson pulled an angel-and-conner on us. I had to put the book down for this one, I was giggling so hard for the wrong reasons. goofy ass twist my guy. based on a rugpull of navani losing the kid that I didn't entirely accept. can't wait for adolin to run into him in the future

sigzil: reading this book after reading the sunlit man was an exercise in emotional devastation and I will never get over sigzil finding himself, finally, and then willingly giving it up to save his spren and his comrades. fuck moash, seriously.

lift and vasher: what a duo. good luck with this one, vasher, you're going to train up a terror. you deserve it, after, what, Mad Sciencing your way to anti-light? for someone so smart, you're a dumbass.

hey btw where is vivenna, can't wait for that reunion (aka vivenna trying to gut vasher, which he deserves, what the fuck were you doing with gavilar my dude)

renarin kholin and rlain: much like navani, I feel like they kind of got the short shrift, although theirs feels less bad I think? navani felt like her continuation got cut short, but renarin and rlain both feel like their story is just beginning. which is probably the point? anyways, I like them both very much, more please. gay love saved the planet.

venli: really liked where we ended up with venli, who not only came to terms somewhat with her past devastation against her own people, but made the call to reach out to her enemies in order to forge peace. something about renarin and rlain's decision for a chance for the future via freedom of the imprisoned over continued oppression in the name of stability; paralleling venli and the singers' choice to reach out to jasnah, their oppressors and enemies, to mark their own space and nation? it's so good. I'm probably the most excited about this particular plot/nation-building moving forward.

thaidakar: kelsier what the fuck are you doing and why did you inquisitor one of your eyes, you know what happened to your brother (oh no now I'm sad about mistborn series 1 again)

jasnah kholin: you know what I realized, writing all this up, that led to jasnah's downfall? she hasn't really changed this whole series so far. journey before destination, you know? unlike pretty much everyone else, she thought she'd already finished her journey. she's the fourth ideal pretty much before the series even starts (maybe? I might be wrong), she's the smartest person in the world, she's taken steps to fill what she thinks is her weakness (strength on the front lines). but she never acknowledged that she could be fatally flawed, that she made terrible mistakes in what she thought was good, and never reconsidered her position as potentially hypocritical. I know we're getting jasnah flashbacks late in the series, so I'm excited to see where she goes in the future, but boy her shit got rocked by fen and odium.

hoid: lol. lololol. looooooooool.

[indigosabyss]

Meanwhile, With Tommy... (+A Ms Marvel Show Tie-in)

He was Thomas Shepherd. All the documents said he was Thomas Shepherd, so he had to be.

But then why did that last name sit so wrong? What was it supposed to be? It was on the tip of his tongue, if he just concentrated a little harder-

The guy in the cell next to him rammed into the wall separating them with a scream loud enough to break Tommy's concentration. Fucking asshole.

Guess it didn't matter what he was or wasn't, anyway. He was still going to be stuck in this godforsaken place.

Tommy didn't want to say he hadn't done anything to deserve being put here. They found him in the epicenter of a massive explosion, as the sole survivor, with no memories whatsoever. Yeah, people were going to have questions.

It just so happened that Tommy didn't have answers to those questions, because he had no memories whatsoever.

The cops seemed to get this eventually, and he'd been... Wherever this was.

The wrong place. Tommy was sure of it. He wasn't meant to be here.

Where was he meant to be?

Well, there was this tug that he carried with him. His own personal compass, like an invisible thread yanking him to a place he was unable to go. Not with these bars in the way. And especially the cuffs.

He was hella fast, it turned out. And not the fun kind of fast. The type of fast that made things blow up. The type of fast that society didn't need.

The knock against the wall this time was more intentional. There was something about the force behind it that clued Tommy in. Other guy had real anger management issues. The stabby type, apparently.

But since his tantrum had abated, Tommy knocked back.

Other Guy had snuck Tommy a code to a knock cipher, before the guards realized his shiny crystal things could sneak through the bars on the cell door's window and barred it. It was tedious as fuck, but also the only conversation he ever got that didn't involve also being electrocuted and following instructions like a lab rat.

I've been disguising my advancing control, Other Guy reported. And then, seemingly unrelated: Note that we seem to be the only ones here?

What about it? he responded, having noticed that too. Seemed that superpowered people that have been deemed public menaces but not bad enough for the Raft were in short supply.

There'd been a bunch more. Triple the current population, which wasn't much. They were from Other Guy's party, if he was remembering the gossip right. Escaped and left him bleeding out on the stairs.

The next series of taps took a long time to finish.

It wouldn't feel right, leaving anyone behind. But if you're sure it's just you and me, then I think we can try a break for freedom. Not sure where we would go, though.

Freedom? Tommy didn't even remember what that was supposed to look like. But the feeling tugging in his gut flared, and the direction remained constant, no matter which room he was moved to, or where he faced. Everything went back to that one point.

I think I know a place, he finally told Other Guy

------

When they punched through the outer wall, they were met with dirt. Other Guy was thinking things through, as he activated his turquoise crystals to burrow through the ground into a perfect tunnel.

"Great, now let's get out, out, out!" Tommy grabbed him by the shoulder and slipped into superspeed.

They were laughing hysterically when the tunnel finally came out onto an honest-to-god meadow, with sunlight streaming in, and no walls in sight. Just fences, a house a little ways away.

"So, where's this place you had in mind?" Other Guy asked.

"Uhh... straight shot this way," Tommy recalibrated himself to his own true North. "Gonna be a bit of a walk."

"About time I got to stretch my legs," Other Guy shrugged, strolling in the direction Tommy had pointed out.

They were walking shoulder to shoulder ffor several minutes when Other Guy smacked his forehead, "I completely forgot to introduce myself! And after all the time we've known each other. I'm Kamran."

"Tommy..." he took his proferred hand, and the word dangling on the tip of his tongue finally came loose. "Maximoff."

[Based off my prediction that the DODC detainment facility the Clandestines were kept in is where Tommy is being kept like in the comics. Sequel ficlet incoming of these two showing up at the Kaplan house while Billy is doing his part in AAA]

Part 2

[yukina-otome]

Chevalier Romantic route rantings

Warning: This post contains spoilers about Chevalier Michel's route. More specifically his Romantic ending.

Sooooo, it is extremly rare for me to criticise Cheva's content. After all, as his absolute stan, i love everything this man does.

BUT i admit that I am not a fan of his romantic ending.

The reason is simple. But first of all a little summary of the events, for does who do not remember or for does who have not played the route but dont mind spoilers.

MC is with everyone at the battlefield. The campement where she is, is attacked and this is when the two ending branches.

In this I will only discuss the romantic one.

So, in the romantic ending, MC gets stabbed by a poisoned knife by the anti war faction and obsidian. They use her as a hostage and says 'if you want the antidote you gotta hand her off'. But Genius Cheva figures out the poison and have the antidote made badabim badaboum.

(Honestly I would have prefered it here if Clavis was the one who found the antidote, and Cheva being impressed by his brother's abilities, after all Clavis was the one who has been studying poisons. But this is not what this post is about so let's no dwell on that)

So MC is cured, Cheva goes to beat the anti war faction with his FIST, because MC says no Stabby stabby. And he somehow makes Obsidian sign a peace treaty and VOILA, war is over.

(Yes, the political plot of this game is extremely stupid, DO NOT start me on that, or this post will never end)

Soooo, MC and Cheva goes back to the castle, where MC is healing. Chevalier stays by her side most of the time as they spend quality time together. And before they know it, there only very few days left before MC has to choose a king, leave the castle and never see cheva again.

So MC asks Chevalier for one last favor, she wants him to dance with her. He accepts and they head to the ballroom where they have a very impactfull moment where MC tells him she is gonna choose HIM as a king and she tells him her reasons which leaves him speechless and i would say touched.

After that there dance ends, and MC start acting like Booboo the clown as she starts rambling, she tells cheva they should have a meal together sometimes before she leaves and turn away from him to hide her tears.

As of now, everything is fine. I have no objections to this developpement. But this is where it ticks me off.

Cheva hug MC from behind and literally ask her TO SLEEP WITH HIM!

Yes yes, he says dinner but he says he is famished and his hand touch mc's body subjectivly.

MC might be as dense as the mariana trench but she's not stupid and she agrees to the hanky panky.

And BIM BADABOUM they smash, in the trill of the action, mc asks him if he will remember her and he says NO which is obviously a lie. And that's literally it. They separate for a year and you guys know the rest.

Now you might ask, what do you not like about this, Yuki?

And i would say many things:

First, HOW DARE HE ASKS HER FOR HER FIRST TIME JUST LIKE THAT, MY CHEVA WOULD NEVER WTF. Remember everyone, this is not 21st century, it's literally around 1500 and around then a woman virginity was EVERYTHING to her. I was like well maybe the ikepri author created the ikepri universe differently and its not a big deal but silvio's romantic ending proved otherwise. I'm not gonna go into the details, i'll just say a woman first time is IMPORTANT. And Cheva most likely knew that. He would never ask her for it in such a way. Specially knowing he could not be her lover. It was one night only between them.

Also it is very irrational and the way cheva asked for it seemed calculated which i hate. I mean, there are no contraception during that era. Surely both knew what could happen after that night.

Then there is how that first time was written. It was only a few sentences and during the whole act MC was crying and all while Cheva was all smug saying 'You like that, don't you?'. I would have liked it if he showed some vulnerability in that moment. And don't tell me 'This is cheva we are talking about, he is not capable of doing that', he actually did in the dramatic ending.

This was supposed to be such an angsty dramatic scene, if only they gave it more attention it would have gave his route more dept and made the ending all the more satisfying.

THIS is how I think things should have happened:

-After the dance, MC still acts the same and says they should have a meal together.

-Chevalier agrees and says then let's have dinner together.

-MC accepts and they have dinner in his room. MC is nervous since this is her first time alone with him in her room since he knows of her feelings and it makes her hyperaware of him. Specially that whenever she look up at him she sees he is already staring at her. Like he wants to commit her to his memory.

-Cheva sees that and starts talking about a new book to calm her down.It works and soon enough they are sitting together on his bed and reading the book together in silence.

-Chevalier's reading speed is higher than hers and whenever he is done he just stares at her as he waits for her to finish the page.

-MC finish a page and look up toward Chevalier to see if he's done with it, but when she does he is already looking at her and there eyes meet.

-They stare at each others soul for a very long time in silence before they kiss, none of them knowing who made the first move.

-The kiss soon turn into a full makeout session on Chevalier's bed and the book fall to the floor in a tud.

-This bring Chevalier to his senses, it is not like him to act so irrationnaly.

-He pulls away from MC, but she pulls him back and that was all he needed for his logical facade to snap.

-They make love and as MC cry her heart out she sees that Cheva's usual ice cold expression is nowhere to be seen.

-His walls are completely gone and at that moment she has the REAL Chevalier in front of her.

She says she loves him but he does not answer her back. He knows that if he says it, it's gonna make even more difficult for her, so he just hugs her to him instead.

And that's how it ends.

What do you guys think? I'm really interested in you guys's opinion on this topic.

[sscrubberhose]

Ya got any dialtown headcanons? :3

hooo boy. ive been chewing on this all day and I think i have a decent amount to say!

Spoilers for Dialtown!

Tw for mentions of suicidal ideation and religious guilt

Phone/Typegingi:

-Is aware of everything that happens in my fics but forgets

-is more aware of how people perceive them than people give them credit for, wants to make everyone happy

-has a strong fear of being alone, which is why they bother people so relentlessly. if they were to be fully ignored for an extended period of time they would have a breakdown

-Has both the phone and the typewriter head and can change them out at will, dont ask where they keep them.

-has bitten theoroar many, many times and will do so again. is even more fearful and hateful of him after the zoo explosion

-has a lot of love to give and genuinely prefers being around their friends

-has a level of intelligence that is genuinely sort of surprising sometimes. this intelligence is used at random

-is surprisingly easy and hard to kill at the same time

-the narrator is actually a separate entity to them who cares about them very much

-seems to be passively suicidal but no one can tell if theyre joking or not

-roger rabbit rules, whatever biology is funniest is what they have

-perceived height changes based off of this rule as well. no one notices.

-breaks into town hall once a month for funsies

-enjoys sweet things quite a bit

-autistic beast

Randy:

-is actually a decent cartoonist, but rarely draws due to hand pain. likes drawing gingi and oliver the most

-has a lot of religious guilt due to growing up catholic with a very very strict, religious father, left home as soon as he could. also why he is afraid to talk to God.(hobo)

-father harped on him his entire childhood about being a burden, now feels that he owes the world for existing. this is slowly healing.

-due to his upbringing hes still learning how to function as an adult, i.e cleaning, cooking for himself, things like that. hes working on it!

-has sensory issues, has ASD

-fear of cgi animals comes from having to watch weird religious propaganda films for kids when he was young. he is getting over it thanks to oliver.

-extremely observant and notices things a lot of people don't, but usually doesnt say anything for fear of being annoying

-knows shooty and stabby on a first name basis(not that he knows whos who)

-sees Norm as a father figure but would never admit that

-has a long list of phobias that hes working on recovering from, but is too nervous to go to therapy for

-has a LOT of plushies in the ticket booth that Oliver and Gingi have given him, refuses to get rid of any of them

-taking the bandage off wont instantly kill him, he doesn't know this.

-can skateboard, does not do this often

-gets sick very easily, has to be forced to rest as he tries to insist hes not sick

-is roommates with Oliver, they have a bunk bed

-got his number changed so the hotline wasnt tied to him anymore

-is actually a good singer, never sings due to thinking he sucks. Will hum to himself while working at the ticket booth

Karen;

-Has actually gotten fairly close to the other datables since the conclusion of the game, doesnt know how to express this

-Visits Dialtown for a few months out of the year to catch up and spend time with her friends

-part of her contract with helping rebuild was better wages for those who worked at the bank. It took a lot of arguing but she felt that no one should suffer like she did.

-expresses her love for her friends by making them ponysonas. Is a huge pegasister. will infodump about it for hours to anyone who will listen

-enjoys botanical illustrations the best, next to drawing horses

-draws horses with normal horse heads as a form of abstraction

-puts capsaicin oil in her paints so Gingi will stop drinking them. This did not work.

-enjoys vintage movies and game shows and talks at length with Oliver about them when they go out for coffee or dinner together.

-she and randy doodle together sometimes

-also has severe sensory issues and has safe outfits she wears. will cry if she has to touch certain fabrics. (LOOKING AT YOU CRUSHED VELVET)

-safe foods are microwave dinners and pasta, but she keeps her diet balanced.

-her and Norm get along now and will sometimes go for hikes and chat about life(and ways to wrangle gingi)

-allergic to shrimps

-can play piano

Oliver:

-Got a new therapist who doesnt think hes weird or annoying(it didnt phase him but thats not groovy to say to someone)

-has POTS, often needs to sit down at work so he doesnt faint.

-is a HUGE horror fan, could tell you everything about the behind the scenes of every major and minor horror movie to come out in the last decade.

-works as a haunt actor for the Dialtown Haunted House every single Halloween, wants to run it someday

-has a log of every new thing he notices about Gingis biology, the log is three books long now.

-Really wants to run a youtube channel where he does amateur ghost hunting with randy, has yet to convince randy that this is a good idea

-is very physically affectionate, though he does ask permission first before touching anyone!

-Has had top and bottom surgery and is comfortable where his transition is, thankfully his insurance under Mr. Dickens covered it! (Mingus isnt a TOTAL monster)

-has a digital scrap book of all his favorite memories with his friends

-makes rage comics unironically.

-favorite color is actually black, red just seems to be his thing!

-has been legally adopted by Mr. Dickens but decided to keep his last name as Swift because "it was rad."

-is actually friends with most of the ghosts and poltergeists that live in the cinema/scareshack

-kept the popcorn and soda dispensers, but got the soda dispensers to dispense SODA and not...whatever the fuck it was doing before.

-helped renovate the basement of the cinema into a haunted maze that he helped design, the theme changes once a year!

-got those unicycle lessons and knows how to juggle as well!

-likes rollerskating, has Heelys on all the time

-allergic to peanuts

-can play guitar

Norm:

-Is aware that Gingi sees the face on the sticky note change and thinks its sort of funny

-Is actually good friends with God and the two go out to lunch once or twice a month

-enjoys fishing and will take Randy and Oliver on fishing trips, Gingi usually follows regardless of invite.

-Sees himself as a father figure to most of the dateables, and is willing to fill in that role.

-apologized to Karen for his behavior by baking her fresh bread. is actually an extremely good cook

-irises and pupils are both void black due to exposure to the wormhole. He has not noticed this. Eyes used to be honey brown.

-Has to stop Mingus from doing a new evil scheme once a month, has a spray bottle for this purpose.

-does actually have other outfits for when the space suit needs to be washed, is never seen outside the house when this happens

-Oliver, Karen, and Randy have seen his real face, they were like "cool" as Gingi is just...far weirder.

-i imagine him as strawberry blonde. Short hair, either buzz cut or just short. maybe some stubble. I dont have a good image of what his face looks like, it is just bag to me

-not great at public speaking but REALLY good at pretending to be

-is actually very good at using technology but will sometimes pretend not to be just to tease Oliver.(it works every time)

-can also play guitar

Bigfoot:

-...no.

-okay okay i have one. You could use his fur to make yarn IF you washed it. You will never be able to get close enough to brush him though.

Misc headcanons:

-heads can be repurposed after death, like cadaver bones!

-the more popular headtype for modern business men and women is a laptop

-after what happened to Callum Crown, the answering machines function was completely separated from memory storage

-Snakes have syringes for heads

-peter and his wife are poly and want roger to be their third, but roger is as dense as a brick and peters too formal to just say it out loud.

-Harry and Jack are a couple in this universe, Jack is just a very odd boss to work for regardless

-Billy is Abel's kid. The mother is unknown. probably a one night stand.

-the swans miss randy :(

-there are a few headtypes that are banned for various reasons, one of which is having a megaphone AS your head.

-Roger is autistic and has a stutter, and sometimes has to use ASL to communicate. Peter knows ASL for this reason

-The Narrator could talk to the others, but only if it was an emergency

-all Dialtown OCs are canon. theyre in town somewhere, having fun and living their lives!

-Dialtown is bigger than shown in game, including the town square which has a fountain and a park surrounding it, as well as a skate park, rec center, arcade, a pizza place, etc.

-all the dateables have met satan at least once, they just didnt know thats who that was

-shooty and stabby are dating, theyre just very bromance about it. good for them...

-rotery phone heads are coming back in fashion as a sort of 'retro' vibe.

-getting prosthetics/emergency plastic surgery and medical care is actually quite accessible.

-jerry and his wife come visit dialtown every christmas soley so that gingi doesnt run all the way out there to visit them and get hopelessly lost. theyre doing quite well!

-there are competent members of the dialtown mob but they dont really do much other than hang out at the bar

if i think of anymore Ill let you know!! thanks for askin!

[popcornforone]

Handling the Situation

A Dave York Fan Fic

Damn it Dave… why are you the best person to write. I mean I’m not complaining. I enjoy it, it makes me feel good. But I always think I take forever now to write him as it needs to be right. So here we are on another Dave York Saturday, getting our fill of our favourite stabby murder daddy.

Synopsis:- You are Dave Yorks handler & have been for 2 years since an injury meant you couldn’t be an assassin anymore. You both have mutual feeling for each other which neither of you have decided to explore until now.

Work count:- 7200

Warnings:- DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDER 18! DAVE YORK COMES WITH HIS OWN WARNING! Lack of consent, unprotected sex, boss employee relationship, mutual pining, stalking, murder, assassin stuff, car jacking, PIV, masturbation, cum tasting, fingering, swearing, cheating & adultery. Dave being controlling but what’s new there 🤣.

Yea this was something to right. I hope you all enjoy peoples. Thanks for the read.

“Wait a second” Dave York scowls as he looks at the Mismatching maps he’s got in front of him . One on his screen, & one as a hard copy. “This map is dated from 1998, why do I have a copy of this” his big brown eyes dart between the two. You let out an exasperated sigh.

“Mr York if you’d have let me finish my sentence…” you start before he interrupts.

“Is it hard being the smartest person in the room?”

“I wouldn’t know, is it?” You scoff back & get up from your chair on the other side of his desk & make your way over to him. He would have rolled his eyes at your comment but after 2 years of you being Dave’s handler you’ve both got bored of it. Even though you like the little smirk he pulls afterwards. There’s mischief deep inside this killer. You get to his computer screen & stretch the map. A small sniff of his cologne always arouses you. His warm breath filling your personal space. Your hand grips his over the mouse. It still makes you shiver but not as much as it used to. “Now hold the old school map up to the screen Mr York” Dave does as you requested & you then turn the screen into dark mode. It’s clear now why you had provided him with the older map.

“Are those tunnels?”

“Yes from where they built the subway network” you look at him & he nods. “A third exit should you need it & Thompson isn’t alone or there’s other interested party’s, if you follow this one…”You point & explain that it will lead him a mile away to a power plant.

“Clever girl” he says & he smacks your bum. You try to not moan. Dave flirts with everyone, because he is the best assassin he gets away with it, also his job does require some intimate work from time to time but he has never seen you more than the best handler for him. You used to be an assassin as well until someone sliced off half of your trigger fingers nuckle . But you always planned your own missions before that, so when you decided to become an analyst & handler, Dave practically begged for you. He knew you’d keep him alive. You know what he needs to do to stay at the top & in one piece.

You both then finalise the next few bits of next Wednesdays mission so you can type it up this afternoon for him. It should then be approved on Monday & then the two of you(well mainly you) can get everything in place for Wednesday to take Thompson out. Dave is always impressed with your dedication to the cause he does wonder if you ever switch off. As you remove the usb stick from his computer, along with his signature on the initial report, so you can proposes the final changes, you head to his office door.

“Anything else I can help you with Mr York” you say in a chirpy tone. He usually will say nothing or just ask for another coffee.

“Nah your alright…” but then as you go to leave Dave then chirps up “… weekend plans?” Dave’s never asked you about your weekend plans before. You a little bit stunned. You both keep home & work separate hence you only call him Mr York.

“Erm yes… I do” you turn back to face him gripping your lap top. “My boyfriend wants to take me out for dinner for our 1 year anniversary” Dave looks shocked at this.

“A boyfriend? You kept that quiet”

“You never asked” you giggle “also we’ve actually been together 20 months, but he says it wasn’t official until he’d met my parents & my parents live in Texas”

“Hmm man’s got principles I guess, what does he do”

“He’s an accountant” you say with a sigh ”boring I know but safe, no one’s gonna look for an assassin or a handler with a boring jobed partner.” You say. You know Dave is married, Carol you believe from what you’ve found online about her, that she works as a manager at the big grocery store out of town.

“True, you hoping he asks the question, so you can be more committed” Dave asks. You can’t help but blush at that.

“Well every girls dream is to say I do & walk down the aisle in a white dress so why not,”

“You’d say yes”

“Absolutely, I love him” you suddenly realise this is the most Dave has asked you about your life in the 2 years you’ve been by his side. Pinning for a man you know is unavailable in both your worlds. No sex with coworkers you have always had that rule & keep work & home separate. “What about you Mr York”

“Work & I might watch the golf, might even go up to the cabin I haven’t decided yet” he reply’s he picks up his phone & his lips bite the side of it. He does this from time to time. It always arouses you & you try to not let it affect you. “I genuinely do hope he asks you, I hope he deserves you”

“Thank you Mr York, have a nice weekend yourself” you then do a little smile & leave, once his office door is closed you sigh & calm down. Dave was genuinely nice to you & made you feel seen. You’re angry at yourself for getting aroused while he was being polite. You shake your head & walk back to your desk, this proposal won’t write itself.

*

Dave sits there in his car, watching. He’s been following you for the last 6 months, since you wore that daisy dress to work when you were going out to a birthday afterward & he saw the real you, you let your guard down that day at work & were care free & happy. Dave’s wanted to get to know the real you from that moment. Since then with his own skills he’s followed you around. At a safe distance of course & cleverly. After all Dave is the best assassin in the world he easily goes undetected.

He sits there outside Donatello’s the Italian restaurant, a place you & your other half often frequent & he’s looking at your face. You seem bored & disinterested in the conversation. It’s also not just you as you had said to him on friday, there are friends around you, but by the looks of it mostly his friends. You politely laugh back & smile but the look on your face as you dig into another okayish carbonara says a million things. This should have been your special night but no it’s turned into him & 6 of his mates & 2 of their partners around the table too.

Dave can see your eyes show no emotion in them. You’re not giving anything to this. This was not how you thought your Saturday night would go & neither did Dave. He is half tempted to get out the car, walk into the busy restaurant, March up to you lift you over his shoulders with no explanation to anyone, put you in the back seat of his car & fuck you there & then. That’s what Dave wants. That’s what he’d do in this situation & he now pretty sure from the look on your face that you’ve not cum in months. Obviously standard & safe isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

*

“Fuck” Gus moans as he fills the condom up & rolls off you. You’ve not cum it’s been months & he keeps persisting on using a condom. You like that he practices safe sex but it would be easier for you to be on a birth control that was half decent. He had said no & actually went with you to the doctors to say that you wouldn’t be going on it unless it was injections. You’re seeing the doctor on friday for your next round.

“Well baby that was a decent day” he says & he softly kisses your lips & gets out of bed tying the condom of his already limp penis as he put his boxers on. “& you as always were so good then”

“Yea it was good” you lie to Gus, today had all been about him & his mate Harry. He bumped into him when he was on his morning run & suddenly a day you thought might be romantic & passionate turned into a lads day. You like his friends but today should have been about the two of you & what is happening right now proves it. He’s getting dressed.

“You know you can stay Gus” you say as you scoot along the bed & massage his shoulders to help him relax & start to kiss his neck. “Maybe I want morning cuddles maybe I’m not done yet”

“Baby I’ll be surprised if you can walk after what I just did to you, you’re clearly in a sex haze” you are glad he can’t see you roll your eyes. 9minutes that’s how long he lasted before he came, you clit was neglected & he just humped his way through it. When you do cum it does feel good but it’s been lacking a lot recently. He’s not the sex god he takes himself for.

“So why are you leaving? Why can’t you stay”

“Work starts at 6am on Monday but budget meeting at 8am, so I can’t have distractions tomorrow I need to be at mine”

“But baby it’s…”

“Shhh go to sleep beautiful & I’ll let you know I get home safe”he doesn’t even kiss your lips. It’s your cheek & he heads out of your apartment. You know safe & boring is best but you can’t be doing this for the rest of your life. You need 1 last adventure before you settle down & Gus isn’t hitting the spot in lots of ways at the moment. Once you hear him lock the door behind him, you get out your newest vibrator, & build up the settings as it pleasures your naked body as you rhyth in bed. As you climax on your favourite setting, you giggle at the name that escapes your mouth. You hand & toy are coated in your slick as you moan the name “Dave!” As you reach the best high you will have this weekend.

*

“Morning Mr York” you announce as you walk into his office with his usual black coffee & information for him on the missions approval. It’s the usual Monday happy patter from you. If you start off happy it might rub off on the moody Dave. You notice him in his light blue shirt scrolling through his phone perched on the edge of his desk, deep in thought.

“Morning” he reply’s not looking up. Lost on his phone. He briefly looks up as you shut the door & then he stops & looks up again. You’re in a very nice floral green dress which is buttoned all the way up & stops just above the knee. Your hair is in a messy bun & you have a small heel on. Dave has a double look, your shiny legs sticking out as you hand him his coffee.

“What Mr York, can’t I put in a bit of effort from time to time” you say as he keeps looking you up & down as you hand him his coffee.

“Obviously, it’s just there’s something different about you today,” he says with a smile & then bites on the corner of his phone trying not to think about what he would do to you. “But I notice something hasn’t changed..” he, once he’s put his coffee down, grips your left hand stroking across your fingers “… I see & feel no ring unless your picking one together” Dave sees your face drop a little, your chirpy mood moves on as you sign.

“Yea, turns out my boyfriend wanted it to be more of a friends thing for our anniversary than just us” you say “I still had a nice dinner…”

“& a good fucking?” Dave interupts & you turn bright red straight away.

“Mr York!” You shriek.

“What? You’re a woman you have needs, just like all men & women have needs” he says with a smirk. The hand that was holding yours now brings the coffee cup to his lips, always looking so plump. His phone is on the desk as he strokes his thigh. “So I’m guessing you didn’t have a moment of pure passion then”

“Mr York, there’s a reason we keep our work & private lives separate, I don’t think I want to talk about my sex life with you”

“What if I as your boss asked you to?” He says & winks before slurping more coffee.

“& here I was thinking this was going to be a normal Monday meeting to approve a few things before Wednesday” you scoff & smile. “Let’s just say that my man thinks he gets my needs met but once he’s happy that’s that”

“Damn, a man should always look after his woman first, preferably with oral or fingers strumming her cunt open”

“DAVE!” He pulls a face as you shout this at him “sorry… MR. YORK!” You shout again & then both laugh.

“don’t worry about it sweetheart, I’m amazed you still formally call me Mr York, I’m not gonna murder you for a slip of the tongue like that”

“I’d like to see you try” you respond back instantly.

“Oooh fighting talk, I like that” he says with a devilish smile. “& if I’m honest you’d give back as well as you took” somehow you now know this isn’t talking about fighting talk. Your minds gone dirty.

“Well what can I say, I think all things should be equal, giving & receiving, don’t you?”

“No I like to be in control” he says abruptly almost cutting you off. “I like to know where I stand with everything, so that when I give, it’s given good”his hand forcefully grabs your wrist . “That’s why you’ve not applied to be an Assassin again.” You look dumb struck at him.

“I don’t think that’s any of your business Mr…”

“But it is my business, your my business.” He tugs you towards him as he stands up his right hand grips your chin, firmly. “Imagine if we were a team, 2 assassin working together, the world we could create the missions we could achieve, doesn’t that sound good to you” he whispers all of this in your ear seductively. Your breathing has hitched. You feel his hand start to drift yours to his bulge.

“Dave… I”

But before your hand makes contact & you do something you might regret, the phone in the office rings.

“Fuck” Dave basically launches you out of his personal space & leans over the desk to grab the phone. His moody tone is there. “York, this had better be good” you stand there awkwardly while he berates someone on the phone for not doing the vehicle clean at the weekend for Wednesday. He then smirks at you & says down the phone. “I’m sure my handler can handle the situation, she likes all things being equal” before he slams the receiver down.

“I’ll go deal with that then Mr York, here’s the files for Wednesday” you say & don’t even really look at him. Had he sexually harassed you before that phone call? You hadn’t kissed or touched him. Was it his power over you? As much as he knows you can do what he does, does he enjoy those moments.

It’s not long after you sit behind your desk sorting out the last few things that for Wednesday’s mission that you get a message from him.

We good? Y

You smirk & reply.

Nothings changed Mr York, let’s concentrate on the mission

Glad you’re handling all of it so well. He reply’s

*

Dave lies in his bath on Tuesday night. He always has a bath the night before a mission. It calms him down. Carol always moans that he takes too long, but she lets him off, she knows he has “an important client” tomorrow. He should have asked her to join him in the bath, get his frustrations out on her, but he didn’t instead he’s got the last 5 days cctv from work of you, watching you bend over to pick up files, that little giggle you do with the tech guys & then he watches all the interactions he’s had with you. His length is pulsing, throbbing in his hand as he listens via his ear pods, a few suggestive things said between you both.

“Fuck baby” he growls as the bath water which was starting to get a bit too cold, now has lashes of his cum added to it. He almost knocks his iPad into the bath, as he jerks away mumbling your name.

*

“Coms check” you say as you get out of the car to set up your own radar to do the mission on Wednesday afternoon.

“Loud & clear sweetheart,”

“Good, although we should still use the code names Boss, not sweetheart, no matter how nice that sounds” you say as you look roughly at the spot he will be setting up his sniper rifle. It’s a clear day, not as many people about as you thought & Dave should have a clear shot to take the target out. Everything is going to plan, a little too well to plan you have in the back of your mind. You slip into the back seat of your Audi with the blacked out windows & connect the additional radar to your set up so you can monitor everything as the doors lock.

“Well I’m okay with calling you Hand if you want, I mean I am the boss,” he jokes back to you once he sees you are safe in the back of the car & looks through his site at the building 2 blocks away from you. “But what would you really like me to call you” he says & you can heart his breath hitch in your ear piece. Is Dave flirting with you on a mission?

“Boss, I’m gonna call you Boss” your trying to keep focused, it’s your job to keep other things entertained while Dave does his killing & to let clean up know when he’s done & to also check for possible complications.

“Well I’ll make sure you do call me that on every occasion, & I can hear your eyes rolling” Dave chuckles. His tone then changes. “Package has arrived” you’re always so amazed that Dave can switch it on & off so quickly. The target has arrived in the building & that’s now his main objective. You & carol could be scissoring in front of Dave right now & he wouldn’t notice at all. You’re glad he’s back in the zone.

“Traffic is good, from what I can see his next lot of security should arrive in 11mins, but oooh no” you click 8 buttons to cause lights to go Green & cause 2 traffic collision “looks like they will be delayed by 6mins taking the alternative route.” You click your timer for 18mins & so does Dave, you hear the beep from his watch down the phone. You both know that being 2 blocks away means you can get back to Dave before that time, but Dave’s got to make sure he doesn’t get spotted & if he needs to additional hits need to happen.

“Copy that” Dave says & you hear the clicks & snaps of the rifle ready to take aim.

“In your own time Boss” you say & then you hear one of your favourite things in the world. You’d never tell Dave this but it’s the way he breathes as he slows his heart rate down to get the perfect clean shoot. It’s not all bang like in the movies. Dave can do that, obviously with all the drama & can kill at close range & get into a fight if he has to, but him sniping someone & the way those lips softly part at each exhale, it’s so attractive. His eyes dilated in concentration too. You enjoy it for a few seconds you get to hear it before the burst of noise. Dave makes the shot after only 2minutes after the timer started.

“Clean, precise, call clean up” Dave declares down the radio.

“Confirm?”

“Confirm target down”

You then switch to your clean up squad who are on the ground floor of the building (hence why tunnels were needed on your map originally, but they were a final back up for Dave) & you tell them to move in with their timer set for 5mins there’s 4 of them so they can do it that quickly. You can hear Dave packing his gun away.

“Estimate?”

“4 no 6minutes, the lifts not working”

“Copy” you quickly leap out the back seat of the car & get back into the drivers seat & put your foot down. This means Dave expects to be coming out of the back door of the rendezvous at that exact time. Your car should be there so he can get out of the door & into in it 10seconds before you drive off. Your sat nav is linked to the set up in the back of the car for the best route, to avoid all the issues you set up with traffic earlier.

“Clean ups just confirmed clean & identification Boss” you say to him with you being 2 minutes out. Dave doesn’t reply, if he’s got that many stairs a to run down, he’s conserving energy. You eventually approach the building next to the one Dave took his shot from & slow down to do a reconnaissance loop, everything is clear, so you put the car in reverse ready to go & collect Dave. You pull up 20 seconds early & hit the unlock button to the car door, when suddenly the door flys open & two large hand drag you out.

“Fuck” your scream grabbing the keys & putting it in down the back of black leggins.

A burly face looks at you but your now more concerned that there is cold steal of a barrel now against your forehead.

“Keys now” a voice screams from the side of you. You realise that you’re about to be car jacked. It’s the second man who screams this. & you just shake you head at them, as your eyes fill up with water. These guys must have seen you do a loop & waited for you to pull up. They can’t have this car for so many reason.

“Seriously gents, you’ve picked the wrong day & car to Jack. Just walk away & it won’t cost you your life” you say calmly, but you gulp. they both have masks covering their faces but you can see their eyes. The one with the gun pointed at your head his hand is slightly shaking. The one who has you gripped against the door frame is much firmer, but you can tell my his eyes & hair he’s no more than 19. You don’t want Dave to have to kill these two who have just got lucky today in your 3 second lapse of concentration. It’s most unlike you. You’re also speaking very clearly because you know Dave will be picking this up.

“Ha” the one holding you cackles. “& what makes you think we won’t shoot you & take the car anyhow” you quickly side eye the barrel & realise they are blanks which will still hurt but won’t kill. You can also hear Dave counting down from 20 in your ear, he’s clearly waiting for his moment.

“Because” you stutter as the grip around your neck gets more as your hand reaches to the back of the car seat which has a small knife in the head rest. “Your amateurs…”

“We’re pros” click. Dave has snuck up to the one holding the gun behind him his gun firmly against his head. “& you picked the wrong day to do this”. The other man looks in shock his grip lessens. It’s enough time for you to wiggle slightly & grab your knife, in all of 4 seconds its plunged into the man with the guns thigh. The scream he lets out is ear piercing.

*

“Where the fuck were you?”

“Why were you early?”

“Why did you not tell me there were people near?”

“Why the fuck didn’t you check for blind spots & randoms?”

Dave & you have been going back & forth for all the way back to HQ since the incident.

Luckily you were both covered enough by your faces that you didn’t need to kill the two kids. Taking them hostage was never plan. Instead you took the two of them who you both injured & dropped them near an emergency room. The smell of piss & vomit you get used to, but it’s still not nice, the car valet will not happy that they have to deal with that. But they were just kids trying to car Jack with a fake empty gun. Anyone else would have given in but they just happened to go for you.

“Because I did so I did my slow loop & came back to your exit, & in the time after I’d checked the back mirror & unhooked my seatbelt to come & open the door he’d sprung up”

“But from where” Dave demands.

“I don’t fucking know Dave okay!” You snap back, a little too harshly.“Another door or behind a bin or over the fence, I don’t have a clue, but the car wasn’t stolen & we completed our mission”

“& to think I was…” Dave then pauses & rubs the back on his head his black beanie hat coming off as he does it. He the looks you up & down. You’re sat on his desk in your black skin tight leggins, black vest top & you still have your own beanie on. Your jacket hanging off the door.

“Say it Dave” he knows your as pissed at him as he is with you. You’ve used his first name twice now.

“No it will just piss you off even more”

“Well I’m already angry & moody so you may as well…”

“I was gonna fill out you application to get you license back!” He interrupted abruptly & the room falls silent, those words hanging in the air.

“Dave, you… you were what…” it a soft tone that leaves your mouth for the first time in about an hour.

“I was going to apply for you to be a full time assassin again.” He shrugs “but if your gonna get jumped by some kids maybe your not up for it, maybe you have lost your game & nerve” he’s rubbing his neck as he says this. His chest is heaving. That skin tight black tshirt is stuck to him. He’s taken off his Kevlar vest & is looking mighty fine, everything clearly defined, including the outline under his black cargo trousers.

“Dave I… I don’t know what to say, thank you & also fuck you for saying I have lost my nerve”

“Well if I’m honest…” his voice trembles “…I’m not sure I can have you being my handler anymore” that shocks you. You freeze, time stops, you don’t breath, your heart doesn’t pump. You eyes fill up.

“What!” You panic. This job means the world to you, if Dave doesn’t want you as his handler something must have happened. He stares at the floor. “You can’t just say that Dave & not fully expect me to understand without an…” you don’t get the word explanation out of your mouth. Dave marches across the office & grips your chin before his lips vigorously clash with yours. You lean on the desk, stuck in the spot, you minds tell you no for so many reasons but it only takes a second for your hand to trial down his side & rest of his hip. His own hands are holding & caressing your face. Kissing you like his life depended on it. You feel alive for the first time in a while at someone’s touch & you instantly feel arsoual taking over.

“Dave” you mumble as you push him back slightly. “We can’t, for so many reason. You’re my boss I’m your handler, I have a boyfriend you have…”

“When did he last make you cum?” He says bluntly.

“Erm…”

“Exactly” you aren’t wearing a belt his hand slides straight down your leggins under your panties & straight for your clit. He smirks that it is so slick. “Good girl” you gasp, as he calls you this the friction has started.

“Mmmmmm fuck” you moan before Dave’s lips find yours again, he nips a few times at your bottom lip while he sees to you, his tongue more than welcome inside your mouth.

“Dave… stop I’m gonna … i… I…”

“Let go sweetheart let Dave handle the situation for a change” you then feel two long fingers slip inside you & the friction is intense.

“Oooooohhhhhhh fucking fuck” you gush & cry as he makes you cum harder than you have done at any point in the last 3 months with Gus. He is delighted how quickly he got you off as you are perched there panting. “Fuck Dave, we we shouldn’t. Your married”

“It’s not technically cheating as long as I don’t cum inside you”

“What!?” You say in shock, before he lifts you up & he pulls you leggins & panties down in one movement, his eyes light up at the mess you have both made.

“Oooh fuck baby” he growls before he Burries his head between your thighs lapping away at the wetness dripping down.

“Dave stop”

“Why?”

“We shouldn’t”

“You really want me to stop? What does your body tell you?” He lifts his head as he removes your shoes so everything comes off from the waste down. It gives you a few second to think.

“My body is enjoying it & my head says I deserve it, but my heart…”

“Gus doesn’t deserve you, you’ve been miserable, let me take care of you”he says as he strips off his black skin tight tshirt. You know the man is Broad & well built but this is a feast for the eyes. You lick you lips expectantly.

“Wait…” you pause”how do you know my boyfriends name”

“You don’t wanna know” he says with a smirk before he unbuckles his belt. You’re not sure if you should move in pure fear or consent to your boss fucking you.

“Dave I…” but he grips your chin as his belt slides out through his other hand.

“Sweetheart the only words I want from you are your consent & your moans, don’t make me shut you up with this belt.” He hits the desk with the buckle. His eyes fully dilated full of desire. Those black cargo pants are not hiding his erection to well. you softly nod. “Vocally sweet heart “ your head is lifted more.

“Promise not to cum inside me”

“Promise, let’s get your uncorking situations sorted.” Dave’s lips meet yours again. He lifts you up & carries you to the sofa in his office. His hand gripping your arse so hard as the two of your mouths feast on each other. He lays you down & you go to shimmy off your top but Dave rips it if your body.

“I might have needed that Dave”

“Bollocks to it” the long noise of his fly unzipping has you rhything “ooh baby I don’t even have to touch you to see that body desperately craving a real man’s touch.” You fling your bra across the room. You no longer care that you are about to cheat on Gus. Your fantasy that you’ve had for the last 2 years is about to happen. Dave York your assassin your boss is about to fuck you until you can’t move.

As he drops his trousers & boxers your legs part more. The site of his long girthy penis sends shivers down your spine. He’s definately going to pinch.

“Impressed?” He says as he slips in between your thighs, he licks his fingers & they start to strum your sex making you moan.

“Fuck”

“God I’ve wanted to do this for a long time” he groans, as he teases your clit with his cock. The pre cum dripping mixing with your own arousal. “Gonna make you realise your worth sweetheart” he moans before he fully in one long deep push goes balls deep inside you first time.

“Oooh my god, fuck oooh fuck” you moan grabbing the grey sofa materials. The sting feels magnificent. You feel like any movement he makes your gonna cum straight away. He’s looking at your erect nipples on your breasts, your chest & tummy heathing, the little sweat beads forming on your head & then he slowly starts to move his penis out. “‘Mmmmmm ooooh”

“Take it that’s good”

“Fuck yesss Dave… oooh god” he slams in again & hits the spot, everything tingles & your senses are exploding.

“Does Gus do this?” He says as he does the same move again. You shake your head.

“No mmmmmm” you can’t stop moaning each time you mmm or ohhh Dave smirks. He’s getting naughty noises out of your mouth. He wondering would that small mouth of yours take his cock. How far could he ram it down your throat.

“Man doesn’t know how to make a woman feel good, doesn’t deserve ooooh fuck” Dave feels you clamp around him. Almost milking him if his seed at this early stage. “Hold off a bit longer sweetheart please” he lifts your leg & puts your left foot on his shoulder & then he finds his rhythm. He’s in the zone.

“Oooh my god god my god oooh fuck” you don’t know what you’re moaning. Even though Gus isn’t the best lover none of your other lovers or partners before him have felt this good. Dave’s working & rolling his body. The happy trail from his belly button down to the base of his length due to his hip action, is hypnotic. The man can move. He concentrating so much but you can also hear from his own moans that he is getting pleasure out of this too. “Oooh baby”

“Fuck oooh come on girl give it to me,” one arms stretches while another caresses your breasts. He wipes the sweat from his brow with the hand not holding your leg in place before he returns to your neglected clit. As the friction grows you can’t hold on anymore.

“OOoh shit shit shit” you cry “fuckkkkk” you scream as you climax, drenching Dave inside you. Dave look on in wonder as you scream, he’s sure people know he’s fucking you. He doesn’t care.He looks as you lie there spent but he’s not done yet.

“Oooh sweetheart we can do more than that” he says as he quickly withdraws then flips you onto your front.

“Fuck” you scream as he lies on top of you, his balls already banging as he’s deep inside you again. You go to turn your head to look at him but he pushes it into the sofa.

“Fuck your even tighter baby.” He snarls, his rhythm is unrelenting.”how bad is your boyfriend”

“Mmmmm” is all you can get out muffled as he fucks pounding away. He fees so good. You can feel the next orgasm approaching already.

“Fuck fuck fuck Dave” you groan, it leaks down your legs your cum, you know this sofa isn’t new but it’s going to have stains on now.

Dave’s a machine, fucking you hard for over an hour all sorts of positions. You enjoyed it each time he withdrew & covered your arse or belly in ropes of his cum. He was being true to his word. He wasnt cumming inside you. He didn’t care what you thought anymore & actually neither had you. He was giving you the pleasure you had craved for the last few months. Boring Gus with his very safe sex wasn’t going to cut it anymore.

As you bounced up & down in the cowgirl position, Dave licked his lips. You’d been exactly what he had hoped for. He knew what he was doing was wrong but with you being so willing to give it back to him he was enjoying pleasure too.

“Gonna cum once more for daddy” he asked, sweat covering his body.

“Mmmhmmm yes boss” you say still calling him the code name.

“Think you can handle me”

“I always do”

“That’s my girls” he slapped & then grabbed your arse cheek & this made you clamp around his cock so hard. It made him moan “fuck” he did it again & again. Each time you moved more, each time the slap was harder, each gasp you made was more erotic. He’s struggling to control his urge.

“Oooh Dave, more more more” if anyone was recording this it would be a blur At the pace he is going. He’s hitting the spot each time, your previous arousal leaking out. It’s too much. His moves, your pants, the way your boobs jiggle. You’re both gonna explode.

“Oooh fuck baby”

“Yes just like that” you whimper as he sticks two fingers in your arse, he’s not claimed that but it’s enough.”yes yes yes yessss yesss oooh fuck Dave!” You scream & cum, eyes rolling into the back in your head. Squeezing him with all your might.

“Oooooh fuck fuck fuck!” He cry’s, he can’t withdraw in time. He cums & fills you up, painting every inch of you. Both your slicks mixing together inside you “fuck yes” he growls before he kisses you firmly. Neither of you have realised what Dave has just done. Your both on a come down, slowly rocking into each other, panting & giggling in between kisses. Sweat from you dripping onto his chest. He sucks your left breast to calm down before he slowly & delicatly unseats you & puts you on the sofa as he goes into his desk drawer for some wet wipes, for you to both clean up. It’s only as he starts to wipe his dick, his face drops.

“We… oooh fuck” he stumbles upon his realisation.

“Yea we’ve both been unfaithful Dave”

“I’ve never cum inside someone before, other than a girlfriend or my wife, on missions I cum in their mouth or on their tits, why couldn’t I stop with you?”

“Well you did the first few goes…” he then abruptly interupts.

“Your on birth control right?” Your face drops it’s Friday you see the doctor. He freezes”you are right”

“My period ended yesterday & im getting my birth control shot on Friday” you say which is a partial lie, you begin ovulating tomorrow, Dave could have just got you pregnant. You both glaze over, Dave at the fact that he’s cheated after years of being “careful” with lots of targets for information & you for the fact that your Boss could have impregnated you. You both stay silent as you get dressed unsure what to say your relationship no longer the same. Once dressed you put on your jacket & do it up so that when you leave his office you aren’t just in your bra. You stand up & stroke his face.

“Is there anything else I can do for you mr York?” You say as if nothing haa changed but everything has. You sound sad.

“No, I’m all good” he doesn’t even make eye contact with you & you leave. You head straight to the women’s bathroom & throw up, sick to your stomach at what you just did, even though it made you feel to good.

*

You sit in Dave’s office on Monday morning waiting for him. You’d tried to work together on Thursday & Friday but it was awkward. The genie was out of the bottle, the dynamic different. You’d then been to the doctors & then spent the weekend assessing your life. You’d come to some decisions that would change a few things, but you thought it was best to be truthful with Dave first. When he walks in he’s shocked to see you waiting.

“Morning”

“Morning Mr York we need to talk” you say. Your sat on the sofa you consummated your passion on & Dave comes & sits beside you. He looks white. On the table by the sofa is both you coffees some paperwork & a little box. Dave looks at the long thin rectangular box suspiciously.

“Can I…” you nod & he unpacks the box. There is the pregnancy test you took before the doctors. He sighs deeply. “Thank god for that” he says looking at the negative test.

“I took a morning after pill to be safe as well Dave” you then hand him the envelope. “That’s for you too” Dave without hesitation opens the envelope. His head is still processing that you aren’t pregnant. It takes him a few minutes to realise. He grabs your knee straight away when the realisation hits.

“No!”

“No”

“I won’t allow it”

“What”

“Youre the best handler I’ve ever had, I can’t lose you, not over a couple of hours of sex”

“Dave… I”

“No you can’t, it’s stupid”

“Will you let me explain” you shout. Dave looks shocked. He’s never heard that tone before from you. “I spent the weekend thinking things over, I want to take my license again, I want to be an assassin, or at least a full time driver or back up & I want….” You gulp “& I want to do it with you” Dave’s face is stunned. His face then lights up & he hugs you.

“Ohhh really, you want to go back to this, you want us to be a team a real team”

“We always were a team Dave, I just need to stop living the safe life, see where I belong, get back to what I’m good at, I was holding myself back, but after that mission & then when it almost went wrong & the the rush & the passion, I can’t give that up”

“& Gus…” he asks

“Well let’s just say safe isn’t for me.”

“& I am” he asks raising an eyebrow, “you know I’m married right”

“I do Dave”I then smirk”but it’s not cheating unless you fill me up with cum” he laughs back at that.

“Naughty bitch” he scoff “you’ve got the grips of this whole situation havent you?”

“Isn’t it good to be the smartest person in the world?” You ask.

“I don’t know does it?” He can’t hold back & his plump lips crash either yours, his hand goes up your skirt & he’s amazed when he realises you aren’t wearing any underwear. “You tease” he says as that large flat thumb starts working your clit. You moan instantaneously.

“Only for you mr York, only you”

[morgloom]

Episode 4 Stabitha Endings

I made this list a while back of all the Episode 4 ending variations as they relate to Stella and Tabitha. Through many playthroughs, plus looking at game code, I think I found everything. I also added more details about some of them. Major spoilers below!!

Episode 4 Endings

I divided them into “with Tabitha” vs alone:

With Tabitha:

Don’t find Stella, Tabitha says you’ll look for her tomorrow

Find Stella, Tabitha leaves, MC talks to her alone

Find Stella, MC goes to talk to her alone, Tabitha hides in the bushes and watches lmao

Tabitha talks to Stella alone

All 3 talk, Stabby hug

All 3 talk, Tabitha wingmans, lock in the Stellamance 

All 3 talk, Tabitha wingmans, but turn Stella down after Tabitha leaves and return to the Estate

Stella calls MC, reject her, Tabitha storms off to find her alone

Without Tabitha:

Don’t find Stella 

Ignore Gretchen or the Dog Militia when they find you and return to the Estate without finding Stella 

Lock in the Stellamance

Stella tells MC about the accident, don’t lock in the romance

Stella doesn’t talk about the accident

Lash out at Stella about Reese or Doc’s death, she runs back to town on her own

Stella calls MC, reject her, return to the Estate

About Stella calling MC:

The rarest way to find Stella (I’m assuming) because this requires getting extremely close to her in a worldstate where Gretchen is dead. In this case you meet at Stella’s house instead of in the woods, but otherwise everything plays out basically the same.

The only variation I listed as unique is rejecting Stella’s call (either by telling her you’re not coming over, or by not answering the phone). I think this is different enough from the other outcomes because it’s the only situation where you can reject Stella when she reaches out for help, undoing all the hard work you have to put in with her to even get this outcome.

Estate endings:

In general, Tabitha just goes to bed (or is already in bed) unless you initiated hanging out with her earlier that day, in which case you’ll do that after returning together, or she’ll stay up waiting for you if you didn’t call her.

If you initiate hanging out, and then do the “Tabitha wingmans you but you turn Stella down” route, you get some extra dialogue where she’s surprised to see you, and you can explain that dating Stella didn’t feel right. This is actually one of my favorite outcomes. 

If Stella and Tabitha talk alone, the Estate is still empty when you get back. (?!)

Even more specific variations of not finding Stella (spoilers!!):

Mostly speculation, but the last one is a real thing.

Tabitha could have figured it out, but you didn’t call her:

You have to meet specific criteria for Tabitha to figure out where Stella went, but she presumably only looks for her if you call her at the clinic. I think things will end badly for Stella if you don’t find her, so I’m curious if Tabitha’s reaction will be different if you meet that criteria, but then don’t call Tabitha, and don’t find her. In other words, if she could have found her, but didn’t go look, will she react differently than if she just didn’t figure it out? The angst potential…

Missing your chance:

To get the Stella phone call, you have to meet a specific threshold of closeness to her, PLUS try to contact her the morning of Episode 4, so you could just barely miss finding her by achieving that closeness, but not reaching out in the morning. To achieve such a strong relationship, but then miss your chance (both for the romance, and to help her at the most critical moment), feels significant.

Stella texts MC:

Of all the things I found, this surprised me the most. It might even belong on the list above as a separate outcome. Basically, there is a Stella route that starts in Episode 2. If you walk with her through the woods and are close enough that she talks about how bad she feels about Duke or Gretchen dying, you can respond in a harsh way (by blaming her or telling her to toughen up). 

If you do this, she’ll text you at the end of Episode 3 (not the romantic text), saying you can still count on her. Then, if you don’t find her in Episode 4, she will actually send a text at the end of Episode 4 saying she’s ok and will see you tomorrow!! This is the only case where you hear from her if you don’t find her! I'm sooo curious where this one is going, and also nervous to find out lol.

I could probably go into even more detail, but I'll end there. If anyone knows something I missed, or if something seems incorrect, plz let me know!

[lauronk]

wip ask game

rules: list the names/titles of docs in your wip folder & open your inbox to questions about them (and i will share snips where able!)

thanks for the tag @two-birds-alone-together

and uhhhh buckle up y'all, it's a LIST. i tried to keep it a little organized

works that actually have words in them:

bank robbery - answered joel owns a bar - answered plane crash - answered & answered turn the page bthb/whumptober - bleeding out/friendly fire bthb/whumptober - appendicitis/surgery - answered bthb - comatose - answered bthb - hiding an illness - answered gthb - naps classes the sunshine of my lifetime (emotional damage pt 1) emotional damage pt 2 foster - answered & answered if you can wait till i get home - answered jelly 2 camping boogaloo joel gets sick - answered maria pov - answered near miss - tommy & ellie - answered piece by piece - answered separated stabby - answered take me to the lakes - answered

works that don't have words but have ideas/bullet points/a random sentence:

whumptober - hallucination w - sunburn w - not realizing they're injured w - blow to the head w - seeing double w - starvation - answered w - childhood trauma - answered w - nowhere else to go w - blood trail w - regret bthb/whumptober - mistaken identity/emotional angst - answered b/w - missing & presumed dead/race against the clock ghost pretty much any and all bthb except the ones listed above (the card for reference) corn harvest - answered ellie gets in a fight first snow joel the fixer leave ellie at state house pizza post-making of cure sarah's mom in jackson sigh - regency fic (for rocky & steph) [that's actually what that one's called lol]

also if you requested a ficlet feel free to ask for an update on that, i have a couple completed and a couple i'm still working on.

but i think that's all of them

[serendertothesquad]

Seren's Studies: The Odd Squad UK Gadget-Making Competition Video

I was originally going to make this into a longer post where I discuss Odd Squad UK more in-depth, but to keep things simple (and to avoid frying my brain), I'm going to keep this and another post separated. They will be linked, though, so keep an eye out for an edit and a reblog in the coming months.

We got a first taste of OSUK a little over a week ago, and with it came quite a few things to dissect. Because Season 2 can't be the only season that gets something UK-exclusive that never made its way to the States and never will. Curl up, try to cry, cry anyway.

Join me below the break as I make a Thanksgiving feast out of mere crumbs. Or try to, anyway.

Those of you who have been in the loop might have seen the BTS photos of the UK Headquarters on Instagram. This is what I can safely assume is the bullpen, going by the seal, the desk on the right with some kind of a green form, and...well I mean fuckin' look at it.

As you can see, it's an incredibly stark difference from the Headquarters seen in the past three seasons, though this one looks similar to S1 and S2's, for, y'know, obvious reasons. It actually looks more like something you'd see in some kind of a government building, like your local city hall or the DMV, than anything else.

There's not even any sliding doors either! Which is...well, I mean I watched Season 3, this surprises me next to none.

Take it all in...take it in...

...You took it in? Goood, goooooood. Moving on.

"NOT SO ANDROGYNOUS NOW IS SHE. HAPPY PRIDE MONTH, BITCHES."

-- The CBBC, probably, maybe

Anyway, this is our first look at a living, moving, breathing Captain Oooooooooooooh whoa what the FUCK is at the end of her ropes? Are...are those knitting needles? Stabby-stabs?

I'm...what even are those?

Okay, okay, someone else can answer that. I'm moreso interested in the smartwatch she's wearing, because Oprah and other Directors in the past haven't worn smartwatches. That, combined with how nautical she looks, donning upper clothing usually reserved for male Directors, and having a unique title, makes her have a rather unique appearance.

"Orwell, I am giving a speech. What do you want."

"Someone stole your copy of Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban."

"Damn it!"

Jokes aside, we now get to the second newly-debuted living breathing moving character of this very short video: Orwell, a Security agent who's about as cheerful as someone whose entire family got run over by Cybertrucks. I don't know if I ever made this joke in any public form before, but in promotional images, he reminds me of Fin Tutuola and...well, with this video, the comparison just launched itself outta my head. Just a lil'. Not a whole lot. Only a lil'.

Yeeeeeah...I'm starting to see how this is poorly edited. Captain O's and Orwell's voices coming through two different audio channels instead of the same one, no BGM in the beginning...this weird-ass cut to Ozzie...I mean I don't expect high quality, but come now. For one of the first promotional things for Odd Squad UK, you'd think they'd do better.

...

This is just a regular-ass home, isn't it. Lookit that Backrooms-esque kitchen there. Lookit the hypnosis wheel ta- no seriously, whose home is this, and if it's Ozzie's, why? And if it's Headquarters...again, why?

I do appreciate the tea set, though. The tea set is to the UK what sharing actors is to Canada. Don't do it, don't get tax credits.

"The Mondays? In my Christian Headquarters?! Inconceivable! Blasphemous!"

No but seriously, this is the most unserious shit I have ever seen from Odd Squad as a franchise, and that is genuinely saying something. The Mondays isn't an odd disease. It's not an odd illness that will grant you extra limbs or make your blood turn blue. It's what everybody who has ever worked a paid job a single day in their life goes through.

*takes off the glasses* You're not boostin' my confidence, BBC.

"It doesn't matter what we seem to do. We can't put a smile on his face."

I'M AN ADUUUUUUUUULT!!!

WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD, JACKASS!!

(...Who the hell said McDonald's?)

*slaps on helmet*

Mmmmmmmmmhm. Strap in, human beings. This is where the real shit gets even realer.

So as you can see, Ozzie isn't in his Investigation agent suit here. Promotional material has shown that he's in that suit pretty much all the time, and given how Orli doesn't appear in this video, it's safe to say that we can plop it into the pre-series era.

This specific department had people in the fandom theorizing for the longest time about what it was. Was it a new look for the Creature department? An updated piece of clothing from the Mobile Unit department? A new department enti- oh shit, wait, that's actually it, isn't it.

Yeah, so if you look at the wings on the hexagon symbol there, it's clear to see that this is some kind of a flight department. I'm just going to quote part of the official show synopsis here, so you folks can get a view of what I'm trying to get at:

Not to worry, brand-new agents Orli and Ozzie are on the case. Their job is to solve the toughest and oddest cases now wreaking havoc across the land, sea, and sky (and even that hard-to-reach area behind the couch cushions).

I might as well spit out a theory (one of few, believe you me) that have been spinning in my mind like a nuked rotisserie chicken clinging to life ever since Odd Squad UK was officially announced as a project.

*deep breath*

Okay. So. You guys know Captain O. Loves nautical things. Looks the part. Has assistants who look like sailors.

What if -- and hear me out for a moment -- what if she has a boat? One that can travel across the sea and across the sky?

For land, that's what the tubes are for. That's a nonissue. But for missions that involve going out onto open water or going high into the sky...that's what the boat is for. And if you have a boat that goes up into the sky, you're gonna need some agents who deal in flight matters.

Headcanon accepted. If you hear screaming at any point this fall, assume it's me.

*long exhale*

See, with Odd Squad, child actors can be hit-or-miss. Some, like Dalila Bela and Millie Davis, knock their roles right outta the park, sometimes even going beyond their abilities and really getting into character (for those two specifically, Olive and Oprah are relatable to their personalities as actors, so it makes things easier). Some are okay -- they're neither good nor bad. And some just don't have the range.

The kid playing Orwell here...is on the latter end.

I get it. It's a video out of a twelve "testing the waters for another season or series" episodes of a UK-based spinoff series in a franchise that keeps going nose-down. I shouldn't go in expecting top-notch quality. I'm setting the bar low, as are a host of other people. And I have absolutely no disrespect against the kid who plays Orwell, because for God sakes, I have standards. But twelve episodes of stiff, the-script-might-as-well-be-in-the-damn-hands-when-filming acting like this is gonna be really hard to stomach, especially since Orwell is a main character.

Getting back to gooder things: this "yeeeeeeah, obviously" bit made me laugh harder than it should've. There is no customer service persona for Orwell here. Concept is foreign to him.

Onom is, unfortunately, not in this episode. However, I do appreciate that the Lab is just as eccentric as he is. Not even Precinct 13579's Lab was this crazy!

(And if you're wondering who Onom is: he's the brother of the Pokemon Snom.)

(...No, I'm kidding. He's our Science man for this series. The gods are returning to their roots.)

this video is about viewers making a gadget

orwell grabs a gadget for absolutely no reason other than by proxy

If this is giving a hint to contest entrants, they sure are being vague as hell about it.

If this is not giving a hint to contest entrants, Orwell's taking the gadget like it's the thing that made Onom go vamoosh in the first place.

...

Hold up-

Wake up? Drank.

Feel sad? Drank.

Go to work? Drank.

Get paid jack shit? Drank.

Take a shower? Drank (with the tea bag you showered yourself with).

Last season, they didn't commit enough to a whole entire newspaper page and had to use Lorem ipsum text.

This series, they have someone write words on a paper that are actually read.

I don't know, guys, that says a hell of a lot of things quality-wise.

I see Onom's leaning real damn hard into the Oona archetype, because you can bet your damn asses she would pull this shit on Olympia, Otis, and Oprah with absolutely no remorse.

...No, let me correct myself: she has pulled this shit on them with absolutely no remorse. And fuck it, she'll do it again.

They were probably expecting people to react like Captain O here.

In reality, my body folded in on itself so hard the local urgent care place became a 24/7 business.

...I'm starting to realize what that one person said about OSUK making references to past seasons/series now. I laughed it off. I said "in 12 episodes, that'll never happen."

But it did.

And it will haunt me so.

The Emergency Un-Monday Protocol is the Odd Squad version of workplaces telling you "we're like a family".

It's an unneeded red flag that fucks people over royally.

0/10, sweet summer child didn't even try.

Let's be honest here: if Ozzie encapsulates the reaction you should have when listening to this left-audio-channel-only, bobbin-n-weavin', lip-syncing-does-not-exist bit, then that's...not really a good sign.

Oooohoho no. I'm not the gal to turn to, kiddos. Not when I get the Mondays every goddamn day of the week.

...You're pointing at a person who feels crushing depression every time she walks into a Target, what are you doing-

...God damn it, this eyebrow-raising makes me cackle. It's so unexpected.

Honestly, I might be asking too much of a series that has the episode span of 70% of anime, but I want more fourth-wall-breaking moments like this. Keep the meta alive!

"But please, no Slime-inators. I just washed my hair."

Ozzie's been to one too many Nickelodeon Kids' Choice Awards for his liking.

That, or he's taking after Otis and his "regular hair".

AH!! AAAAAAAAAHH!! YOU CAN SEE ALEXANDER CRACK A SMILE THERE!! I SAW IT!! I GOT MY GLASSES ON SUCKERS, I CAN SEE THAT SHIT.

Terrible audio balancing aside...and the terrible timing of the logo bouncing...

...Oh wow, that's the other logo. The secondary one. Kinda cool!

----------------------------------------

So overall, this was...a rather disappointing first taste. Whether this sets the standard for the series remains to be seen, but I'm not all too hopeful. Maybe the September results video will see things improve.

That being said, the characters are at least pretty engaging thus far. I'll need to see them in action a little more to make any final decisions, though.

Like I said in the beginning, I'll be putting out a Seren's Study about OSUK when we get more info on it. I'm aiming for August, but it might come out in September when the results video does. We'll see.

For now, thanks for reading. If you want to see the video for yourself, it's here:

[casualminerva]

"I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of eternity with somebody, you want the rest of eternity to start as soon as possible."*

Why GO3 needs to end with a holiday episode

This post starts, as it will end, with Neil Gaiman. Neil, allegedly, has said that Good Omens is a rom-com. Maybe his exact words were “love story,” but let’s not quibble. This piqued my interest because face it, rom-coms are few and far between right now (except for K-dramas, where they are plentiful and quite wonderful, if a bit draggy at 16 episodes). And in my mind the world would be a lot better right now if the Western media giants would stop greenlighting every stabby, bloody, nihilistic cop power fantasy that emerges from the sad resentful minds of perpetually adolescent cishet male producers, and run with romantic comedies by the bucketful, especially ones that will right the wrongs of the ‘90s rom-com golden era. 

Good Omens is one of those, definitely. Our lovers are non-human, gender fluid, older. But the rules of rom-coms are still in place. Season 1 had the meet cute, the clash of opposing life views that gradually softens, our couple being forced to work together with comic results, a brief traumatic separation, and a reuniting in mutual appreciation, if not love. 

Season 2 was the deepening of everything, the camera documenting their faces caressing each other, the mutual rescuing, the “our side won’t like that” restraints dropping, and all of a sudden they’re touching each other out of both affection and habit, until a shitty choice arises to end it all, with a climactic kiss punctuating a truly wrenching moment of, I don’t know yet if you can call it noble idiocy, but it was a wrecking ball moment that told us they’re gonna be separated, with their hearts and ours broken, for a good long time.

Now to S3 (please please Amazon, renew). Season 3 can go so many wild directions since we’re in Second Coming territory, but for our lovers, it’s going to be dreadful to watch them separated. Our hearts are going to be in our throats every time they’re potentially in the same scene together. We’re going to see them alone, doing their own thing a lot, as once again they try to save the world, this time without each other, perhaps on opposite sides.

So what is it that finally breaks impasses and brings rom-com lovers back into each other’s arms? It’s not sudden rain showers or cotillion balls, obviously. It’s the HOLIDAYS. Christmas and Hanukkah and the grandest of them all, New Year’s Eve. It's hard to think of a rom-com that doesn’t have a confession, reunion or long overdue kiss against the backdrop of tipsy NYE celebrants or the sight of snow through glowing windows. It's the ultimate serotonin release mechanism, it conquers worry, it heals heartache, it just -- works.

I can imagine Neil and John Finnemore having a wonderful time playing with, twisting and subverting the holiday trope, all the while using that same trope to delicately land the plane of Aziraphale and Crowley’s fraught relationship.

We already know that the subject of Christmas lights is a sticky wicket for the Whickber Street Traders and Shopkeepers Association. A possible incentive to get Aziraphale back in the bookshop? We also can guess the effect Auld Lang Syne, the most shamelessly sentimental song in any film in all of recorded history, would have on a certain Scottish-leaning demon who has watched his share of Richard Curtis movies. I hope the Bentley will play it for the two of them (not the bebop version though) because, well, vavoom. We will all be piles of sobbing goo.

There’s so much material. The birth of Jesus as a minisode (welcome back, Gabriel!), other biblical and religious stuff, carolers (demons or angels or both?), Dickens references, parties, dancing. Finally, a gentle snow transforming Whickber Street into a dreamland, as our two tired but eternally hopeful ineffable lovers reunite once again, worse for wear but a little wiser, put aside their differences for good, and seal the deal with a really, really fucking GOOD, LONG, KISS. 

So … anyway. I started writing this post as kind of a joke, but accidentally made myself a believer. Oh, and I said the post ends with Neil Gaiman, because it does. Every New Year, Neil writes a tender and beautiful message of love, hope, and new beginnings to his readers. Here’s trusting he does the same for Good Omens 3, and that God, wherever She is, blesses us, every one.

*Title quote pays homage to When Harry Met Sally, the greatest of all rom-coms (fight me).

[krysmcscience]

Get ready for Amogus Spam!!!

Characters belong to @crinklytinfoil - I just came up with the designs and outfits~ All appearance details are taken directly from either the fics themselves (which, as always, approach with caution and MIND THE TAGS) or the comments sections of said fics, though I have also relentlessly poked Crinkle IRL for additional details, such as each character's name and individual fashion sense...or lack thereof (Finnegan) XD

(If you want to read the fics, keep in mind that you will need to be signed in to an Ao3 account first! And again - MIND THE TAGS! Shit gets dark FAST.)

The Skeld bois! The fucked up crew that started it all~ Only like five actual decent human beings on this crew, and all but one of them fukken DIED, lmao. (Congrats on surviving, Devon, you used to be Kind Of An Asshole but you got better. XD) Clark is such an Obvious Dad - it's why he had to die first, he was the only thing keeping shit together, True Facts, sorry you had to find out this way. <:/ Adam is so Fishing, I bet he fantasizes about having a trout boyfriend girlfriend in his spare time. :) Brown is Babby (stabby-babby), but we all knew that already. And then there's wannabe High Class Fuckboi Purple and his emo "boyfriend", yaaaay, can't wait to find out how Purple dies or anything like that, noooo... All that aside, White's outfit makes me want to die inside, why would anyone want to mix hippie and ouji lolita aesthetics??? White, please, no, even your fashion sense is torturous! D:>

(Full-size here, in case tumblr fucks it up)

Corpatch babbies! Everyone on this crew is certified Babby. (Yes, even you, Skylar. Sorry I had to separate you from Pink in the final image, it was too wide and I hated it, please I'm sorry, put the wrench away-) Love that I got to mostly copy-pasta Devon, made my life so much easier after the artistic nightmare that was Stacy's outfit. Fun Fact: That dress is one of over a hundred jellyfish-themed lolita dresses I've designed! This one has a box jellyfish on it, along with other pretty deadly sea creatures, and is called 'Killer Cuties'~ Wilhelm gets to have some matchies with his platonic girlfriend as a treat, also (Fun Fact: he absolutely wears those novelty glasses to Serious Events). Skye's outfit upsets me personally but it's not as bad as fucking Finnegan's so they get a pass. Pink is, of course, The Best One, and let it be known that the little leaf pin is a reference to Bay~

(Full-size here, in case tumblr fucks it up)

Doncaster folks! Such a long image...I blame Vance. Because I always blame things on Vance for some reason. It's just fun, okay? And also I'm bitter about how long it took to draw his damn Bobblehead mech. Him and Aurora both took what felt like a million years to finish, so now Vance has given me additional Drawing Wires trauma, and Aurora somehow seems Too Expensive for me to afford looking at her. Obviously the best part of all of this was everyone's favorite polycule of Brown, Green, and Red (I dare you to suggest they are not Precious), but I also enjoyed trying to come up with an outfit for Umber that screamed 'I think I'm the main character'. XD (If anyone can guess what's supposed to be on Black's shirt, meanwhile, they get a Gold Star!)

(Full-size here, in case tumblr fucks it up)

And, as a bonus, a goofy scribble comic of the Doncaster AU, which I threw at Crinkle after initially requesting (read: attempting to commission) a What If Scenario where Brown never got brought along with White to the Corpatch, and so never met Pink, thus ensuring Brown remained Terrified of impostors. Because my brain wouldn't stop going hog wild over the concept for some reason. 8|

Finally, a WIP of the Parmenides bastards- uh, I mean, Totally Normal Crew of Fine Individuals who are Not At All Terrible. (Apologies to Danni, Marek, and Ashley for getting mixed up in all this, y'all deserved better.) Bet no one was expecting Johnny to be a certified Gamer Catboi, huh? But I bet everyone was expecting Kyle to look like a Born Republican, and possibly Mitch McConnell's estranged half-brother - cuz that's just how the guy is. So Delightful. Also I was totally not salty about having to look at Purple's stupid smug face again while modifying the copypasta of it, No Sir, why would that ever be the case? He's just so great and not the most hateable character ever or anything. (eyerolling intensifies) In other news, Kage's head is way too small and it's driving me crazy but I'll have to fix it later for the finished full-body chibi+bust piece and I'm D Y I N G. Anyway, no icon spoilers for this one - the fic itself is meant to make the readers wonder who the impostors are, so I'm not going to reveal anything on that front.

(Full-size here, in case tumblr fucks it up)

THAT IS ALL

[a-crumb-of-whump]

carlos is recaptured but this time he's there for so long that by the time he gets out, ryker and adam are old men. what happens?

One of my favourite daydreams is one where the caretaker and the whumpee are separated for decades before reuniting, so I have actually thought about this exact scenario!

also, i'm considering writing a proper thing for this??

There are some key things I like to think about when I imagine these three.

I think the most likely scenario is that Ryker and Adam pay a decent amount of money to get him back from someone. Far more than a vampire like him is realistically worth, but they know it's worth it.

Carlos not recognising them at first. Between his severe reconditioning and the fact that Ryker and Adam have obviously changed drastically over the years, I like to imagine there's at least a good five to ten minutes where they have to help him remember who they are.

But. once he does remember, there are so many tears and so much clinginess coming from him. He's extra careful... he knows about the slow increase in fragility as the human body gets older, but he's so goddamn relieved to see his humans again.

Carlos has aged a little, too, during this time, believe it or not. Obviously not by much, but it's clear by a vampire's standards that he's been around for quite some time.

To help himself cope with his loss, Carlos no doubt convinces himself that they've both ended their lives. At some point he accepts that he just doesn't want to hold onto any hope, and the grief and the sorrow is so real that to him, it has genuinely happened. So how amazing must it be to see that his humans are alive?

They have to start purchasing blood packs for him because giving their own blood every day isn't an option anymore. Carlos does not care one bit despite their concerns. He's just happy to be fed and healthy again.

At some point, Carlos has a breakdown because he realises just how much of Ryker's life he's missed. He sees all the happy memories framed on the wall and the wedding ring on his and Adam's fingers, they're living in a purchased home now, instead of one they rented. It's a different kind of grief that he's never felt before, and one that he never wants to experience again.

But in the end, Carlos is so incredibly grateful that he gets to spend what short amount of time his humans have left on earth with them.

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Adding the taglist to this one as an au because i like it so much...

Taglist: @choppedflowermuffinchild @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night @emcscared-whumps @espresso-depresso-system @inkkswhumpandstuff @pigeonwhumps @pumpkin-spice-whump @roblingoblin285 @sacredwrath @some-thrilling-heroics @stabby-nunchucks @thingsthatgo-whump-inthenight @trans-writes @whump-blog @whumpsday @whumpshaped @whump-things @whumpycries @why-not-ask-me-a-better-question @thekittyburger @whumpdreamz