#is it strange to say wayward son was my favorite ? so far. so far. i haven't finished the. final book

[outlying-hyppocrate]

baz pitch is. he's everything ever. why is nobody talking about this

[capinejghafa]

SOC/CK Book Quotes [Gifset Master  List]

below is a compilation of my gifsets about soc/ck book quotes (so far). including scene manips, insp sets, and concept sets. as well as any other sets in the grishaverse that i used book quotes/incorrect quotes. 

all quote credits go to leigh bardugo :)

Split up into: 

Ship or Characters | Chapter of the Book | POV Character | Quote

Six of Crows Quotes (manip scenes):

Kanej | Chapter 4 | Inej | “We’ll be queens and kings, Inej.”

Kanej | Chapter 4 | Inej | “Please, my darling Inej, treasure of my heart, won’t you do me the honor of acquiring me a new hat?”

Kanej | Chapter 5 | Kaz | In moments like that, he thought she might hate him.

Kaz & Helnik | Chapter 5 | Kaz | “You’ve seen [Matthias]?”

Kaz & Wylan| Chapter 8 & 21 | Jesper & Inej | “Who’s mark?”

Kaz | Chapter 13 | Kaz | “My Wraith would counsel mercy. But thanks to you, she’s not here to plead your case.”

Kanej | Chapter 16 | Inej | “My enemies?” / “Our enemies.”

Kanej | Chapter 25 | Inej | “A strange sound escaped Inej’s throat, part sob, part laugh, a weak, embarrassing sound, but it had been months since she’d heard her own name, her family name.”

Kanej | Chapter 28 | Inej | “If we don’t survive this night, I will die unafraid, Kaz. Can you say the same?”

Wesper | Chapter 32 | Jesper | “Just girls? No. Not just girls.”

Inej & Genya | R&R (Chapter 8) & SOC (Inej, Chapter 33) | Favorite Scene(s) -> Grishaverse

Kanej | Chapter 38 | Kaz | “The sobs he’d ignored.”

Kanej | Chapter 42 | Inej | “I will have you without armor, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all.” [Version 1] / [Version 2*]

Pekka & Kaz | Chapter 46 | Pekka | “I respect your drive, kid. And I understand. You want your money; you want the Wraith back; you want a bit of Van Eck’s hide—”

Six of Crows Insp Quotes (quotes that insp the sets):

Kanej | Chapter 3 | Kaz | Inej’s Saints (multiple quotes)

Inej & Kanej | Chapter 4 | Inej | “One minute [Kaz] made [Inej] blush and the next he made her want to commit murder.”

Kanej | Chapter 6 | Nina | “But Kaz’ll keep to any deal you strike with him.”

Kaz | Chapter 10 | Inej | “The thick sheaf of his dark hair was combed back, the sides trimmed short as always.”

Inej & Jesper | Chapter 17 | Jesper | “That makes you a rotten gambler, Jesper. But an excellent friend.”

Kanej | Chapter 18 | Kaz | “I’ll get us out. You know that.”

Kanej | Chapter 25 | Inej | “The truth was [Inej had] tried to sneak up on Kaz plenty of times since then. She’d never managed it. It was as if once Kaz had seen her, he’d understood how to keep seeing her.“

Inej | Chapter 25 | Inej | Inej + prayer 

Kanej | Chapter 38 | Kaz | “[inej] laughed, and if [kaz] could have bottled the sound and gotten drunk on it every night, he would have.”

Kanej | Chapter 45 | Kaz | “he looked at inej.”

Six of Crows Insp Quotes (concept sets):

Inej | Chapter 2 | Inej | “the only law that applied to her was gravity, and some days she defied that, too.” 

Kaz & Jesper | Chapter 3 | Kaz | “Kaz could have told Jesper that he knew he wasn’t dirty, reminded him that he’d trusted him enough to make him his only real second in a fight that could have gone badly wrong tonight.”

Kanej | Chapter 4 | Inej | “We’ll be kings and queens, Inej. Kings and queens.” 

Wesper | Chapter 8 | Jesper | “You’re passable at demo. You’re excellent at hostage.” 

Kanej | Chapter 18 | Kaz | “Instead he thought, What happens if I move closer?” 

Inej | Chapter 25 | Inej |  “Four million kruge, freedom, a chance to return home.” 

Kaz | Chapter 26 / 45 | Kaz | Kaz’ real name (multiple quotes)

Kanej | SOC (Chapter 26, Inej) & CK (Chapter 26, Kaz) | “I can help you.”

The Crows | Chapter 28 | Inej | “A gambler, a convict, a wayward son, a lost grisha, a suli girl who had become a killer, a boy from the Barrel who had become something worse.”

OG Crows | Chapter 38 | Kaz | “You shouldn’t make friends with crows” / “Why not?” 

Kanej | Chapter 38 | Kaz | “But all he could think of was Inej. she had to live. she had to have made it out of the ice court. and if she hadn’t, then he had to live to rescue her.”

Kanej | Chapter 38 | Kaz | “He needed to thank her for his new hat.”

Crooked Kingdom Quotes (manip scenes):

Kanej | Chapter 11 | Inej | “Did he hurt you.” / “ No. He didn’t hurt me.”

Kanej | Chapter 12 | Kaz | “Why the net?”

Inej & Jesper | Chapter 23 | Wylan | “Jesper Llewellyn Fahey?”

Kanej | Chapter 26 (insp/based on) | Kaz | there was only one bed au/injured!Kaz

Kanej | Chapter 26 | Kaz | “Inej was stronger than he would ever be.”

Wesper | Chapter 28 | Jesper | "Stop.”

Wesper | Chapter 28 | Jesper | “I can read to him.”

The Crows (4/6) | Chapter 42 | Jesper | “It was a little like forgiveness.”

Crows | Chapter 42 | Jesper | “It was a little like forgiveness.”

Kanej | Chapter 44 | Inej | “How many times have you told me you’re a monster? So be a monster.”

Kanej | Chapter 44 | Inej | “That’s the laugh.”

Kanej & Inej’s Parents | Chapter 44 | Inej | Inej saw [her parents] in turn, saw her mother grip her father’s arm. They were running towards her.

Inej | Chapter 44 | Pekka | “Death is a gift you haven’t yet earned.”

Crooked Kingdom Insp Quotes (quotes that insp the sets):

Kanej | Chapter 2 | Wylan | “They were the last words he’d spoken. If he’d talked less, he might have lived.”

**Wylan | Chapter 14 | “My mother is Ketterdam. She birthed me in the harbor.”

Inej & Jesper | Chapter 24 | Jesper | “Mati en sheva yelu. This action will have no echo.” 

Inej | Chapter 27 | Inej | “She’d often wished to chip away a bit of his arrogance, but she couldn’t bear the idea of seeing Kaz stripped of his pride.”

Crooked Kingdom Insp Quotes (concept sets):

Inej | Chapter 4 | Inej | I may not have Kaz’s devious mind, but I am a dangerous girl.

Inej | Chapter 4 | Inej | “[Inej] named the blades anyway—Petyr, Marya, Anastasia, Lizabeta, Sankt Vladimir, Sankta Alina—and found courage in each whispered word.”

Kanej | Chapter 11 | Inej | “She had wanted to believe they’d become more to each other. Jan Van Eck had robbed her of that illusion.”

Kaz | Chapter 11 | Inej | “Inej remembered the way the sun had caught the brown in his eyes only hours before.”

Kanej | Chapter 12 | Kaz | “Kaz held her gaze, saw the moon reflected there, twin scythes of light.”

Wylan & the Crows | Chapter 23 | Wylan | “Wylan hadn’t quite understood how much they meant to him.”

Kanej | Chapter 12 | Kaz | “But they’d tried. He’d tried. Maybe they could try again.”

Inej | Chapter 35 | Inej | “When the world owed you nothing, you demanded something of it anyway.” 

Kanej | Chapter 44 | Inej | “Her life had been a series of impossible moments, so why not ask for something impossible now?”

OG Crows | Chapter 44 | Inej | “They tell each other who to look after and who to watch out for.” [V1] [V2]

Kanej | Chapter 44 | Inej | “The boy beside her. The future before her. Anything was possible.” [V1] [V2]

Cracked sets / AU Sets (SOC - AU)

AU | Kanej | Fic Rec | were we meant to have a happy ending? (not in this lifetime)

AU | Kanej | Fic Rec | roomy, and drenched in sunlight

AU | Kanej | Fic Rec | ghost maker

AU | Kanej | Fic Rec | A Ghost Girl’s Guide to Ketterdam

AU | Kanej | Fic Rec | The Four Seasons 

AU | Kanej | Fic Rec | The Bastard Saint Of The Barrel

AU | Kanej | Fic Rec | call it by name

AU | Kanej | Fic Rec | Call from the Grave

AU | Kanej | Fic Rec | All Kinds Of New Friends

AU | Kanej | Fic Rec | My Dearest Inej  

AU | Kanej | Collab w/ oneofthewednesdays​  | “That Laugh?” 

AU | Kanej | Criminals/Partners in Crime | after a heist goes wrong, kaz  has to clean up inej’s first kill. (part i)

AU | Kanej | Criminals/Partners in Crime | kaz lets inej take lead on their next heist. (part ii)

AU | Kanej | Meeting the Parents | after a bad first impression, inej tries to get kaz to have dinner with her and her parents.

AU | Kanej | Married | Insp by Fic

AU | Kanej | Circus | Magician!Kaz and Acrobat!Inej

AU |  Kanej | Reincarnation | maybe i’ll see you in another life / if this one wasn’t enough

AU | Kanej | Hadestown | orpheus as inej & eurydice as kaz

AU | Kanej | Reunion at Van Eck | “Captain Ghafa.” / “Kaz.”

AU | Kanej | Reunion - Handhand Holding | “Welcome back... Inej.”

AU | Kanej & Wesper | Scheming faces | Scheming face?

AU | Wesper | Prince & the Soldier | “Lost Princeling”

AU | Kanej | Sick AU | “What are you doing here?”

AU | Crows | College Majors | Various - Multi

Cracked sets / AU Sets (SOC - Incorrect Quotes)

Incorrect Quote | Jesper & Kaz | Mr. Iglesias | Good morning, Kaz.

Incorrect Quote | Crows | B99 | Rules are made to be broken.

Incorrect Quote | Kanej (ft. Jesper) | Unk | Kaz says “I love you” weird

Incorrect Quote | Crows | Community | And remember, kids: Don’t die.

Incorrect Quote | OG Crows | Unk | “You don’t want Kaz to die.”

Incorrect Quote | Kanej (ft. Jesper and Alina) | The IT Crowd | “Just say you’re sorry and move on.

Incorrect Quote | Kanej (ft. the Crows) | Unk/Insp | Kaz likes Inej.

Incorrect Quote | Crows | Bob’s Burgers | “I am the voice of the night!”

Incorrect Quote | Kaz & Wylan | POI/CK | “My mother is Ketterdam. She birthed me in the harbor.” (repeat)

Incorrect Quote | OG Crows | Parks & Recs | Codenames

Incorrect Quote | Kanej | Unkn/Insp | “We could...” 

Incorrect Quote | Kanej | Spikey44 | “...a simple I love you, or thanks now and then would be appreciated.”

Incorrect Quote/Book Quote | Kanej | Tumblr/SOC (42) | “Why are you so cold to Inej?” / “I will have you without armor, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all.” [Version 2*] (Repeat)

Incorrect Quote | Kanej | Unk | “Schrodinger's Cat”

Incorrect Quote | Kanej ft. Jesper | OFMD | “I would love to be stabbed by Inej.”

Incorrect Quote | Crows | Phineas and Ferb*| “Just twice.”

Incorrect Quote | Crows | The Simpsons | “I’d kill for you.”  

Incorrect Quotes | Crows | Unk | “How did none of you hear what I just said?”

Incorrect Quote | Crows | Unk | Blocking People in Real Life

Incorrect Quote | Crows | Unk | Arrest Charges? (v1 & v2)

Incorrect Quote | Crows | Unk | Murder

Incorrect Quote | Crows | Unk | [Sneezes.]

Incorrect Quote | Crows | Unk | “Saints.”

Other (Grishaverse): 

Manip scene: Shadow and Bone | Chapter 14 | “Just… be careful.” / [Alina] stared at [Genya], baffled. “Of what?” / “Of powerful men.”

Concept: Siege and Storm | Chapter 16 | “But I never thought, I never believed … all those people…”

Concept: Siege and Storm | Chapter 23 | “I have loved you all my life, Mal,” [Alina] whispered through [her] tears. “There is no end to our story.”

Concept: Ruin and Rising | Chapter 7 | I am not ruined, I am ruination (na razrusha'ya.  e‘ya razrushost.) (insp quote) [V1] [V2]

Manip scene: Grishas | Ruin and Rising | Chapter 8 | “I need to show you something,” [Alina] said.

Manip scene: Inej & Genya | R&R (Chapter 8) & SOC (Inej, Chapter 33) | Favorite Scene(s) -> Grishaverse* (repeat)

Manip scene: Rule of Wolves | Chapter 28 | Zoya | “It’s for Inej.”

Manip scene: Rule of Wolves | Chapter 28 | Zoya | “And when you rush a job, you don’t get to complain when the job goes wrong.

[bamfdaddio]

X-Men Abridged: 1969

The X-Men, those dino-obsessed mutants that have sworn to protect a world that hates and fears them, are a cultural juggernaut with a long, tangled history. Want to unravel this tapestry? Then read the Abridged X-Men!

(X-Men 52 - 63) - written by Arnold Drake, Roy Thomas, Linda Fite and Don Heck, drawn by Werner Roth, Barry Smith, Tom Palmer and Neal Adams.

step aside, Wall-E, these Sentinels have nothing on your range of emotions (X-Men 59)

When we last left our X-Men, they were smack-dab in the middle of a big, convoluted plot! Let me refresh your memory:

The X-Men had to beat a hasty retreat;

Polaris had joined her father Magneto

Magneto was injured;

Iceman had quit the team because he still had faith in Polaris;

Eric the Red appeared, making overtures towards Magneto.

And the whirlwind continues! The X-Men (sans Iceman and Cyclops) sneak back into Magneto’s base! Eric the Red reveals himself to be Cyclops! They set a trap for Mesmero! Which is sprung by the wayward Iceman! But he has pertinent information! Lorna is not Magneto’s daughter, she’s just an orphan! Bobby (hilariously) has the papers to prove it!

magneto has now fucked up the relationships he has with all of his children before any of them knew he was their father. mad props (X-Men 52)

Lorna breathes a sigh or relief, glad that she doesn’t have to be evil anymore. (Because obviously, evil is hereditary. And even though she keeps sensing everyone’s ‘evil vibrations’, she stayed with Magneto out of her own volition. SO.) Without Polaris’ power to back them up, Magneto and Mesmero flee.

After this, the X-Men come back to live at the mansion again. No muss, no fuss. Roy Thomas, who’s returning to the book, wastes very little time undoing some stupid decisions made last year. In fact, 1969 has a pretty strong showing, with plotlines flowing almost naturally into one another, a bigger cast and the introduction of one of my favourite villains. It’s pretty palatable.

The one snag is a superfluous issue where the X-Men fight Blastaar and Jean kills someone. (Never comes up again, don’t sweat it.) I wouldn’t even mention it, were it not for this moment where Jean uses some super duper mind machine:

does this remind you of... anything? no? just me then (X-Men 53)

So, anyway, remember Scott’s beloved brother Alex?

i love that jean is all smiles about scotts terrible and all-encompassing ability to repress everything (X-Men 54)

I can sort of understand why that whole third Summers brother was such a huge secret for so long, considering Alex was not even kept a mystery and it still took SIX YEARS for him to be revealed.

Alex is barely introduced before he gets the old plot-bat to the face, getting mixed up in a fight when some pharaoh claims all mutants are pharaohs, being children of the Sun? Apparently, all of them are powered by cosmic rays i.e. the sunlight. Alex is kidnapped, as is Cyclops, and just as Cyclops ponders how happy he is that Alex is not a mutant despite him having the X-Gene, he is attacked by the pharaoh and Alex saves his brother using newly minted energy powers! Oh, the irony.

when I say that I want Alex to wear his old costume, I obviously mean this sexy Egyptian skirt-ensemble (X-Men 55)

Alex and the pharaoh are apparently two sides of the same coin, being charged by the same cosmic rays: when one waxes, the other wanes. The pharaoh locks Alex away in a tomb, cutting him off from those sweet, sweet sunbeams and taking all the power for himself. Like a Power Ranger villain, he grows in size and becomes… the Living Monolith! The X-Men take him down while Alex accidentally blows up the Living Monolith’s temple.

Alex, afraid of his own power, flees into the desert and is apprehended by… the Sentinels?! Surprise, bitch! Lorna is also abducted by them out of her New York apartment. Their next victim is Iceman, and they deliver him to… Larry Trask! (Son of.)

My favorite thing about Sentinels is that, despite the fact that they are objectively huge, they are still able to sneak up on people. Apparently, these murderous periwinkle toaster ovens are so quiet, you only notice when they rip open a roof to get at you. (X-Men 59)

Larry Trask hates mutants because:

They killed his father;

He’s a racist.

Determined not to repeat the sins of his father, Larry has a helmet with which he can use to take direct control of the sentinels, so hopefully they won’t rise up and rebel this time. Somewhere, Asimov is rolling his eyes.

On live television, Larry Trask baits Iceman into attacking him, trying to smear him and mutantkind in general. In the mean time, the Sentinels strike everywhere, taking Unus, Angel, Banshee, the Living Monolith… Even Wanda and Pietro. It´s a literal who´s who of sixties mutandom! The only exempt ones are the Changeling and Magneto, the latter only because he’s been a robot for a while now. Mesmero is just as shocked by this unnecessary retcon as we are.

Just as Larry orders the Sentinels to kill every mutant in the compound (including Bobby, Lorna and Alex), a family heirloom is ripped off his neck. Apparently, this medallion was some kind of protection: the late Bolivar Trask knew little Larry was a mutant and tried to hide this fact from the Sentinels.

The Sentinels turn on Larry faster than you can say “Is being betrayed by AI a hereditary trait?” The X-Men intervene and, after unleashing the might of Havok, they end up in a debate with the Sentinels, turning their own logic against them:

Protecting humans is more important than killing mutants.

So, to protect humanity, they must destroy the cause of mutation.

The Sentinels promptly launch themselves into the sun. Neat.

On a side note, the relationship between Jean and Scott is shelved for now? It seems like they’re dating, but also not? It’s such weird storytelling, especially because their annoying will they or won’t they has gotten so much focus in the past and the relationship between Lorna and Bobby is crystal clear:

Scott. Jean. Is it really going to take Chris Claremont to DTR you two? Fuck’s sake (X-Men 60)

Because Havok’s powers still threaten to overwhelm him, the X-Men contact a former colleague of Professor X… Professor Lykos.

Let me tell you about the sheer, amazing sixties wonder that is Professor Lykos. Originally, Thomas envisioned him as a vampire, but the Comics Code forbade vampires. So, instead, Lykos ends up a human who was bitten by a magical pterodactyl at a young age and who can only survive by draining other people’s life force. He can also hypnotize people into doing his bidding.

Yes.

Lykos suspects mutants might be the cure to his strange, strange ailment, and begins to drain Alex. But to his (and our) sheer delight, he turns into a pterodactyl!

I just love this damn idiot so much (X-Men 60)

Be like Sauron! Choose evil!

The X-Men barely figure in this plot. Ordinarily, I’d be bothered by the fact that these three issues are more about the villain than the heroes, but given that it’s Sauron, I’ll let it slide.

See, Sauron’s tale is a tragic one. Not only is he a weird pterovampire, he is also in love with a sweet girl whose father forbids him from seeing Dr. Lykos, because he is… poor! Gasp! (Those billionaires, not even a doctor is good enough for their daughters.) Sauron, slightly corrupted by his dino-side, realize that it’s a lot easier to just kill Tanya’s father than to impress him by robbing banks for cash.

When he attacks the man and sees the reaction of his star-crossed lover, Lykos realizes Sauron is far too much in control. Sauron is too evil! Lykos/Sauron promptly flees to a cold, distant region, the same place where he got bitten all those years ago, figuring he’ll stay in isolation and starve himself of the human energy he needs. But, just as he is utterly ravenously out of his mind, Tanya finds him! In order to protect her, Sauron sacrifices himself by throwing himself off the mountain… straight into the Savage Land..

The X-Men (sans Angel) follow him into the Savage Land. (It’s unclear why? To retrieve his corpse? Annoyingly, in the next arc, Sauron is not brought up again.) There, they run into Ka-Zar, who’s embroiled in a fight with… prehistoric mutants?

Angel, meanwhile, follows the X-Men in their footsteps, only to end up on the other side of the fight, with a strange white-haired man named the Creator who claims to be the mentor of these Savage Land mutates. Angel pledges him his wings, gets a snazzy new suit and flies off to fight the X-Men. Only then does the man secretly reveal himself: he’s… Magneto! (The true one, not a robot.) And he wishes to rule the savage land!

Angel and the other X-Men briefly fight, but soon the situation is sorted out and the X-Men go and confront the Creator. Magneto, who is way too hammy to ever hide his true nature for too long, reveals himself and the fact that he created these… mutates, including the creepy Brainchild. (He’ll become important later.) The X-Men defeat Magneto and he seemingly dies again.

Without Magneto there, the mutates revert to just being regular cave(wo)men:

I love that Ka-Zar, WHO HAILS FROM THE SAVAGE LAND HIMSELF, has no scruples othering his own kin. (X-Men 63)

The comic accidentally ends on a sad note: the X-Men confessing that they’d give up on their powers in a heartbeat. Not to nitpick, but while I buy that coming from Beast and Cyclops, this issue is less clear-cut when it comes to Jean and Bobby, who have a much better handle on their powers and, more importantly, present as human. It could potentially be an interesting issue to explore, but instead, it is swept under the rug, presenting the team (once again) as a boring but unified front. It remains one of my critiques of this era: the X-Men barely get fleshed out as individuals, other than the broadest of strokes (Leader; Rich Boy; Joker; Smart Guy; Girl). Pity.

Didn’t you take Art History? One thing that has definitely improved is the overall art-style. Artists experiment with panels and splash pages, stepping out of the traditional 2 by 3-grid that Kirby loved so much. It makes the stories more dynamic and, because the writers get more issues to tell their stories, the artists get more space to do their art.

I mean, check this ish out:

Fuck yeah, mental powers represent. (X-Men 57)

Ugliest Costume: None! I really like Havok’s black bodysuit with white stripes and the Sentinels design looks so much less dorkier than before. A+.

Best new character: Sauron, duh. Does he team-up with Dr. Doom at some point? That would be some ham-to-ham combat.

Most audacious retcon: There’s a second Summers brother?

What to read: 57 to 59, which is the plotline dealing with the much improved Sentinels. 60 and 61 if you have a soft spot for vampiric pterodactyls.

[betweentheinkk-reviews]

Call Down The Hawk- Maggie Stiefvater

Rating: 4/5

Genre: Fantasy, Young Adult fiction

Summary:

Call Down The Hawk is the first book in The Dreamer Trilogy, a spin-off of The Raven Cycle. Taking place in a world where people can pull things out of their dreams but must live in secret, CDTH follows the stories of the Dreamers, their dreams and the people who have to live with them. Following The Raven Cycle’s resident bad-boy Ronan Lynch, a dreamer himself; his brother Declan, a professional liar; Jordan Hennessey, an art forger with a mysterious existence, and Carmen Farooq-Lane, a woman hired to kill dreamers in an attempt to save the world. Taking us back to Stiefvater’s fantastical Henrietta, Call Down the Hawk continues where the Raven Cycle left off and brings with it all of its predecessor’s beautiful prose, mesmerizing world-building and the complex characters that pull it all together.

Thoughts:

Maggie my love, my queen has done it again.

I’m not much of a fan of authors extending the story passed their ending because in a lot of cases there isn’t much of a need for that. But for this series, I think it is not only completely justified but entirely necessary. Ronan was always the most mysterious part of the Raven Cycle, both to the audience and even to himself, with only two books in the series that actually included chapters by his point of view and the fact that so much of what he is and his family history was still left unanswered by the end of the series, a Ronan centered spin-off seemed only inevitable. 

With a series based-around people who can pull things out of their dreams you can expect CDTH to be a lot more out of this world than TRC and it definitely is. This series, although still keeping a lot of the atmosphere of the first series, is slowly taking TRC’s setting of magical realism and adding a lot more extreme elements of complete fantasy. It’s not a completely strange shift given TRC set the foundation for anything being possible in Maggie’s batshit world. It’s hard to imagine that at one point sentient forests were hard to believe now that we have dreamers, children with goat legs, shapeless monsters and people who can see the future dropped onto our lap like it’s no big deal. 

But world-building put aside, if there’s one thing that really makes Stiefvater’s writing shine, it’s the incredibly well-written and complex characters so let’s get into that:

First of all: Declan, Declan, DECLAN. Ok so if you had told me while I was still reading The Raven Boys that Declan would at any point be my favorite character I would have laughed in your face. Yet here we are. Even after all the strides TRC made to explain Declan’s actions and motivations to us, even after his short story, I could never find myself sympathizing with him and I didn’t think this book would change anything. Yet here we freaking are. This book really dives into all the layers that make up Declan, he is complex and hurt and so incredibly repressed but puts himself through that pain over and over again in an attempt to protect himself and his brothers. It was fascinating to read about and understand this carefully constructed facade Declan had made for himself and how it increasingly takes its toll on him. And even more fascinating to see this act fall away and let us finally see who he is capable of being when he isn’t so determined to be “boring”. His relationship with his younger brother Mathew is adorable and really what sold me on him, Declan mentions taking his role as “substitute parent” very seriously regarding Mathew and he definitely does, his absolute love for him shines throughout every chapter and every time anything goes wrong he’s always the first person Declan thinks of. It was also interesting to see his views on the boys’ father, Nial Lynch. Anyone who has kept up with the series this long knows Declan isn’t his dad’s biggest fan but I thought it was a really interesting contrast to go from Ronan’s romanticized view of him in The Dream Thieves and all the love it radiated, to Declan’s sheer hatred and unresolved anger. It was also really funny to watch him start cursing his dad every time anything went wrong because, you know, he was a jerk so why not.

Ronan has had my heart since the Dream Thieves and this book proves he has no intention of giving it back. It was so wonderful to see how far he has come and how much he has changed since the very first TRC book and that is mainly shown through the way he handles emotions. TRC Ronan converted all uncomfortable emotions into anger because that was the only way he knew how to cope, CDTH Ronan is a Ronan that allows himself to need, to love, to ask for help and, best of all, to cry when he needs to. I really liked how his loneliness was really touched on in this book, not just loneliness as a result of all his friends leaving him, but an overall loneliness from so long being the only one like him.

Ronan and Adam’s relationship was not at all what I expected it to be. These are two boys who have spent so much of their lives repressing their emotions so I didn’t expect them to be mushy and lovey right off the bat, boy was I wrong. Watching them so openly and vulnerably love each other was amazing and a culmination of both of their character development. But, although it was so sweet to see, I kind of wish we had gotten to see a bit of how they got to that point. When we left them at the end of the Raven King they had only just started to consider the possibility of a relationship and I kind of hoped to see the transition from friends to partners and how they learned to open themselves up to each other emotionally, instead, CDTH skips all that and takes us to a point in their relationship where they have already said their I love yous and are completely comfortable with it. On one hand, I love the intimacy on the other I wish we got to see how they reached that point in the first place, I also really wanted to get to see how they broke the news of their relationship to those closest to them, the only one whose reaction we really got to see was Gansey’s. Nonetheless, the boys’ love for each other was one of the highlights of the book for me and all Adam scenes (however few) were a gift.

I kept trying to figure out a way to talk about Jordan and Hennessey’s relationship without spoiling anything and I couldn’t really come up with anything so I’m just going to say it was so interesting and I loved it, it was especially interesting to see these girls who should be exactly the same but aren’t and how Jordan developed into her own person. Not to mention I just plain loved Jordan, she is so badass but soft and caring and funny as heck. As for Hennessey, she is, in a lot of ways, basically a female version of Ronan, except a Ronan who is still volatile and self-destructive, so it was great to see Ronan take up the sort of mentor role with her that he himself never got. 

Another new character was Carmen Farooq-Lane. And, honestly, I thought her presence took up a lot more pages than it should have. Did we need to know about the inner workings of the moderators? Sure. But did we need several chapters describing her dealing with all of (name-of-kid-that-I-already-forgot-because-he-was-unnecessary)’s pet peeves? Absolutely not. 

Finally, my last bit of commentary for this atrociously long review is that nothing really happened? Ok, I need to rephrase that, things did happen but there was no clear plot or even an actual climax. The plot bit I shouldn’t be too surprised by because the entirety of TRC was very, very character-driven and that seems to be the case here too but even with that in mind, I felt like this book was just a series of events just sort of spontaneously happening and characters being introduced with no real goal or direction that felt like they would be leading up to something but then the climax at the end is only brought up in the last couple of pages and is settled, underwhelmingly, in only a few more. Just like I said in my Wayward Son review, I understand the need for a book to set things up for the rest of the series but I don’t think that should mean the individual book should be missing anything from it.

Tl dr: Although the climax and pacing of the book left me disappointed, overall CDTH was a wholeheartedly enjoyable book filled with well-written characters, beautiful prose and encapsulating world-building that has left me more than excited for the rest of the Dreamer Trilogy. 

[is0gild]

Ice Cream and Fire Oven Pizza - Chapter 10

Pairing: Elsa x Lea/Axel || Side Pairing: Riku x OC

Summary: Modern AU. She's an introvert ball of nerves who works at Ice Palace, a mall food court ice cream shop. He's the outgoing, sassy goofball who works at the Pizza Planet across the way. Hilarity, snark, and fluffy romcom hijinks ensue.

Word Count: 7,783

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

Credit for super friggin’ cute and super friggin’ amazing cover art goes to the super friggin’ talented ky-jane here on tumblr!

It’s times like these that I really do wonder which is more nerve-racking: being thrust into a social interaction unwillingly with a whole bunch of people? Or unwittingly with just one single, solitary person?

With the large group, it was definitely and without a doubt overwhelming. Just finding the strength alone to speak up and join in the conversation was a skill that still escaped me. And even if you did manage to get so much as two words out, that meant all eyes were suddenly on you. What if you talked too much? Or too little? What if you forgot what you were saying at all? Or worse, what if you said something stupid? What if you embarrassed yourself so bad that there’d be no showing your face ever again in the light of day, much less to another human being?

Which, if I’m being totally honest, I would probably find kind of amazing.

Hermit for life, yo.

But then, there were also advantages to the crowd. The biggest one being that an antisocial, cave-dwelling troll like me? More often than not could get away with saying nothing at all. Everyone else could handle all the chit-chat while I simply faded into the background and soaked up the ambiance. That way, I could just make an appearance and give the illusion of being socially active without actually being socially active.

One-on-one exchanges, on the other hand? Now those were a whole other beast. No, make that whole other species.

There was no fading into the background here. There wasn’t even a background to fade into. All there was was you and the other person. A person you were expected to carry half of the conversation with. When put on the spot like that with someone I barely knew, forget having a back-and-forth dialogue like a normal and well-adjusted friggin’ adult, I was lucky if I got anything out of my mouth more sophisticated than “uh” or “um.” Then there were the awkward silences where I’d frantically try to come up with something, anything to say only to have my useless lump of a brain play possum and draw a total blank. I died a thousand and one deaths in those damn silences.

And okay, sure, this was Lea we were talking about. An individual who by now I’d shockingly, and on more than one occasion no less, made reasonably successful small talk with. But a few minutes of a lunch break here or some brief, friendly banter while I was taking his order as my customer there was completely different than now finding myself alone with him in a booth at some random pub on a Friday night.

And besides, it was Lea. Lea, who I’d seen shirtless and slathered in ice cream. Lea, whose lips my lips had thrown themselves at within the first five minutes of meeting him. Lea, who-

Damn it, brain, really? Was now really the best time to be playing the highlight reel of Elsa’s Greatest Embarrassing Hits?

Needless to say?

I.

Was.

Terrified.

Anna Fryse, if you could please report to the table in the back right corner, your older sister is waiting for you and is in desperate need of someone to hide behind right about now.

Also, Anna, if you were ever planning on developing the ability to psychically read thoughts, particularly mine, now would be the time to do it.

...of course, for her to hear that message, she’d need to already be psychic.

And if she was, that meant she was ignoring me.

Which she totally would do.

Brat.

Checking back into reality momentarily, it was in this second that it came to my attention that I was staring at Lea without realizing it. Well now I realized it. Particularly because he was looking back at me with a smile. My heart flatlined, my face paled and my eyes darted away.

Oh god, I had been staring. Did he know I’d been staring? ...of course he did, Elsa you dope! That’s generally what two people do when they're sitting together at a table talking.

Talking. Right. That was a thing I should be doing.

Alright, brain, I know you’re doing your best impersonation of the sound of a mime convention in there right now, but I’m going to need you to work with me here. Think of a word. Any word. Just something to get the conversation rolling. Oh yes. I can feel it. Here it comes. And that word is…

Flamingo.

...seriously, brain? Hadn’t we already said all that there was to say on the subject of flamingos earlier during the little palm notes debacle? Need we bring that back up again? I mean, I do see where you’re coming from - once you ask a man what he does in his flamingo, what else more is there to discuss with him, really? Might as well just-

“Fabracadabra?”

Lea’s voice broke through my thoughts, drawing my eyes back to him.

Wow. Now that was a really good word.

Way better than my lame word. Pssh, flamingo? What was that even about?

Wait… his word was also the name of another one of our ice cream flavors.

He took a swig from his ale as he studied me for a second, cocking his head before at last shaking it. “Nope. Too fruity sweet. You’re the type o’ gal who likes something with a lil more...” he clicked his teeth together with a smirk, “...bite to it.”

I blinked, some of my tension relaxing. Then my lips were doing something strange. Was it that crazy thing all the kids were doing nowadays, what’s it called? I believe the term was… grinning? “You’re… still trying to guess which one is my favorite?”

“Just you wait and see,” he scooched around the booth to sit closer to me, sliding the Ifrit bottle along the table with him, “I’m gonna get it. Mark my word.”

Turning my head slightly, I gave him some side-eye. “...you seem pretty sure of yourself.”

“With good reason! I’m twelve-and-oh, baby. Haven’t been wrong yet. Trust me, your top pick off the Ice Palace menu is as good as called.”

“Who ever said it was an Ice Palace signature flavor?”

His head rocked back at that, then he narrowed his eyes, “You play dirty.”

I hid a smile behind my fingers. “Want a hint?”

“Nah,” he leaned back, propping his elbows on the high back rim of the booth and stretching his long legs out under the table, crossed at the ankles. “Hints are for game show contestants and lame-os who lack self-confidence.”

“And you certainly have no shortage of confidence.”

He beamed, closing his eyes. “Nope! Who has two thumbs and is one cocky ass mofo?” Said two thumbs pointed at himself. “This guy.”

A soft snort escaped me and I shook my head. “No doubt about that,” I murmured as I looked away.

You know what? Maybe this wasn’t going to be so bad afterall. Actually, it was turning out kind of... nice.

My gaze settled on Anna and Kristoff out there. It was all the poor boy could do to keep up with my sister on the dance floor. She even tossed him out into a spin at one point, much to his surprise if the face he made was any clue. But he seemed to be coming around to the whole experience. It even looked like he might be, dare I say it, having fun. They both did. Watching the two of them had me feeling an upward tug at one corner of my lips.

“So how ‘bout it?” I heard Lea ask.

I looked back at him, quirking an eyebrow. “How about what?”

His eyes crinkled as he nodded towards an open spot out in the middle of the pub. “Wanna dance?”

Cue sound of shattering glass.

“Ack! My drink!” Rayne yelped from the booth behind me. “Sorry, I’ll pay to replace the cup!”

As for me? I’d choked. On what? My heart launching itself up into my throat would be my guess.

“W-with you?” my mouth blurted out without consulting me first.

“No, with Grand High King Fuddy-Duddy over there sporting the scar,” he tapped a finger to the bridge of his nose, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, with me.”

Why? Why would he ask-? What could he possibly be- Oh! Oh I get it now! He was just being nice! Yeah, that had to be it. He just wanted to make sure I had fun tonight. That I felt included. He was being a good friend. He really was a very sweet guy.

But me? Dance with Lea? Me? Who cowered and fled at the first sign of any form of human contact? Nope. Couldn’t do it. Quite simply no way, no how. Dancing with Lea meant I’d have to get close to him. That I’d have to touch him. Er… not to say that there was anything wrong with touching him! I mean, it actually might be quite pleasant to-

Wait, what?

Uh… let’s just put a pin in that wayward thought there and come back to it later, like say, oh I don’t know… never. In the meantime, Lea was still waiting on my answer.

I opened my mouth to give it.

All that came out was a squeak.

...let’s try that again, shall we?

Clearing my throat and snatching a wisp of my hair to tangle around my fingers, I at last got out a hasty, “No, I don’t think so.”

Was that harsh? It sounded harsh. Ugh, this is why I don’t do people!

He tsked and sighed. “It’s cuz I’m ugly, isn’t it?”

“What?!” I blanched before quickly shaking my head. “No! No, no, no! That’s not it! Not because you’re ugly! I mean, you’re not! Ugly, that is! Not at all! Far from it, you’re very-” I slapped both hands over my mouth, face roasting.

Shut up. Shut up right now.

I watched him bend forward, planting one elbow on the table and chin in his palm as he now eyed me with a wide, cheshire grin. “Do go on, I’m all ears. I’m very…?”

Oh this smug, son of a…

My eyelids drooped and I lowered my hands. “...very manipulative in fishing for compliments.”

“Guilty,” he snerked, leaning back once more and slouching a bit into the cushions. His grin twitched wider, “So, that’s a hard no then?”

I couldn’t help a tiny smile of my own. “Sorry. I... just don’t dance.”

“No worries. Figured you might say something like that. But couldn’t pass up the chance to ask either,” he winked, taking another sip of his drink. Then he paused, pursing his lips to one side and rubbing the nape of his neck. “...so what is your story anyway?”

Brow furrowing, I asked, “My story?”

He struck up a finger, “You’re twenty-two. Fresh outta college. Guessing Ivy League no less just by the look of you, but total shot in the dark there. And you just got your first job… in a mall food court. Which, ya know, absolutely nothing wrong with that, but it’s the type of gig that only teens, university students, and college dropouts go for. Take it from me, a dropout twice over now, but back at it again for round three hoping it sticks this time,” up the hand went again, now with index and middle digits crossed.

“Why didn’t it the first couple times?” my head tipped to one side.

Who, me? Trying to take focus off myself? Deflecting? Psssh, I would never!

He splayed a hand out over his chest, “Believe it or not, I wasn’t always the well-adjusted, level-headed and responsible individual that you see before you today.”

“Really?” I snorted, squinting at him. “Is that what I’m seeing before me? I hadn’t realized.”

“Shush, you. Trust me, six, seven years ago? I was a real punkass troublemaker. The kind of boy you don’t bring home to your parents, all about the sex, drugs and rock-n-roll scene, ya know? That whole college thing sounded lame to me, but all my friends were doing it, so figured hell,” he shrugged, “why not give it a shot? But me and college didn’t really play well together. I didn’t take it seriously, not really. So eventually decided it wasn’t for me and kicked it to the curb. Few years later? Thought myself older, wiser, ready to give the big ol’ four years and a diploma deal a second chance. But I was just fooling myself, I hadn’t changed one bit. Wasn’t long before we were parting ways once again.”

I folded my arms on the table, “So what’s changed? Why is try number three going to be different?”

Lea frowned up at the ceiling. “I guess you just hit a point in your life when you realize you don’t want to be slinging pizza dough at minimum wage forever. Even a screwup like me’s got dreams. Nothing too fancy... just maybe something like owning and operating my own place. Maybe a lil ice cream parlour by the beach, a real mom and pop kind of store.

“Ah, it’s silly,” he chuckled, shaking his head, “but either way, I know jackshit about running a business. And that’s why I’m back to hitting those books once again and this time I’m doing my damnedest to hammer some knowledge into this thick skull of mine,” he pointed to his temple. “I’ve really buckled down and, uh…” his eyes darted away, “...shall we say, kicked some old habits.”

“You sound like you really want to make it work this time.” I propped one elbow next to the Shiva, leaning my cheek into my hand. “I haven’t known you that long, but based on what I do know about you, I’m guessing there isn’t much you can’t do once you’ve really set your mind to it.”

“Thanks!” he laughed. Then his smile turned a shade wry, “Don’t think I didn’t notice you trying to change the subject on me.”

...fudge.

He went on, “You got my story, now I’d love to hear yours.”

“I told you already,” I frowned, my hands reaching for a napkin to start twisting between them. “My, er… my major didn’t work out. This job… it’s temporary and-”

Lea cut me off with a wave of his hand, “Yeah, yeah, I know what ya said. I’m more interested in what wasn’t said.”

I grimaced, my fingers strangling the poor paper napkin harder. “It’s… a long story.”

“I got time. Loads of it. Only if you want to talk about it though. No pressure, it just looks like you need it.”

Did I? What was that supposed to mean anyway? “...It’s kind of personal. I’m not even sure if it’s something I really should be talking about.”

His forehead wrinkled. “What, like it’s a secret?” Then his face brightened. “I love a good secret! Okay, how about this. Let’s do a trade. I’ll give you one of my secrets, you give me one of yours. Could be anything, big or small, just whatever you want.”

I blinked at him.

Apparently, he took that as a yes, for now he was hunching forward, bringing his face closer to mine and whispering, “So here’s one that only one other person knows and only cuz he’s known me since he and I were in diapers. Not even the kiddos are in on it. Okay, so, my first name?” He gave one more quick glance around to make sure the coast was clear before lowering his voice even further, “Not actually Lea.”

My eyebrows knit together. “It’s not?”

“Nope,” he shook his head. “Middle name. Go by it cuz I hate my first name.”

“Which is?”

His face pinched. “Axel.”

“...Axel,” I repeated flatly, one eyebrow arching.

“Yup. Apparently, my folks were total diehards for Guns n’ Roses. But the real kicker? The couple o’ useless junkies that gave me life were apparently too high off whatever drug o’ the week they were on to even make sure the name was spelled right on the birth certificate. So instead of having a rockstar singer for a namesake, I’m named after a goddamn skateboard trick all thanks to one stupid E that wasn’t s’posed to be there,” he grumbled, throwing himself back into his seat and slumping down, crossing his arms.

I just stared at him for a second, silence stretching. Then I spluttered and burst out in laughter, trying to smother it behind my hands.

“Wow, rude much?” he deadpanned.

“I’m sorry, I really am! It’s just, with the name and that whole story and your pout…” Oh gosh, that pout! I thought he was supposed to be twenty-five, not five. Still giggling but sobering somewhat, I continued, “I just couldn’t help myself. I really am sorry though, I know I shouldn’t have found it funny.”

“Bah, it’s fine,” he brushed off with a grin. “I’ve had my whole life to get over it and yeah, it’s a lil funny. But now it’s your turn, Missy. Gimme a secret. Anything’ll do. And don’t worry, I’ll be a lot nicer about it than some insensitive clods at the table,” he gave me a pointed look, smirk still in place to show he was only teasing.

Oh. Right. That. I’d almost forgotten. Though technically, I’d never agreed to anything. Then again, he did just kind of bare his soul to me. And I did just kind of ridicule him when he did. So maybe… in a way, I sort of owed it to him?

“I…” My voice wavered as I hesitated, hands mangling the napkin again. I gnawed my lower lip, looking down, hearing the thudding in my ribcage get louder. Finally, I squeezed my eyes shut and opened my mouth, not fully sure what was going to come out. “My parents… have no idea where I am right now. They haven’t for a while.”

His eyes widened slightly at that. Whatever he’d be expecting, apparently it hadn’t been that.

Hey, same boat here, buddy.

“Oh… I see,” was all he said at first, taking another slow pull from his drink now as he turned this new little tidbit over in his head.

And that wasn’t even the half of it. I hadn’t mentioned the type of family I was from. Or that’d I’d been in a relationship, no, engaged with a fiancé. Or that’d I’d left him at the altar on my wedding day. Or that when I had, I’d made the split second decision to abandon the only existence I’d ever known and was now stumbling through life with absolutely zero clue as to what the frick I was actually doing.

...yeah, that would have been a lot. Perhaps a bit too much for sharing time. I think I’d made the right call with dropping only this one tiny piece of the puzzle. At least for now. And who knows? He seemed pretty perceptive, maybe it’d be enough for him to read between the lines and answer some of his questions about me. Then again, maybe not.

At last he leaned forwarded onto his elbows, one arm tucked behind the other, and said, “Alright, I’m gonna take a crack at this and you can let me know if I’m right. Or not. You don’t even have to say jackshit, you can just let me blather on like the big lunkhead that I am who likes the sound of his own voice too much, which I’m used to so no worries, totally your call.” He paused, steepling his fingers to his lips as he seemingly gathered his thoughts. Then, “Up ‘til now, I’m guessing you’ve probably led a pretty sheltered life. One where you were maybe used to having all the decisions made for you. But then, for whatever reason or other, you recently decided to cut the cord. So now you find yourself out in the big, bad world that no one really prepared you for, scrambling to find a foothold, scared shitless and just trying to figure out what the hell to do with yourself, let alone with your future.”

Holy… how on earth did he…?

Swallowing hard, I fiddled with the straw in my cocktail and mumbled, “Wow, you are good. Ever consider becoming one of those windup psychics in a box that spits out fortunes on little cards?”

He snorted. “Sure did, but was too dang tall to fit into the glass case. Too bad, those lil dudes have it made.” Then he tilted his head. “...want some unsolicited advice?”

I shrugged, now absently stirring the blue liquid of my drink. “Sure, why not.”

“Get out there. Explore. Try new things. Right now, I’m guessing your worldview is very small, so you need to expand it. It’s the only way you’ll figure out what to make of your life. Cuz as glamorous as it is, I suspect you’re like me and don’t exactly want to be working the food court all the way up into your golden years.”

Now I looked up at him, a crease forming between my eyebrows. “...are you telling me to get out of my comfort zone?”

Lea chuckled, scratching his cheek, “Sure, I guess that’d be one of way of putting it.”

“That’s actually something I’ve been hearing a lot lately,” I sighed, sinking further down into my seat. Sure, it sounded good in theory. But in practice? Easier said than done. “...any suggestions on where to start?”

He gave a low hum, rubbing a curled knuckle to his chin. Then his eyes lit up and he snapped his fingers. “Got just the thing! Be back in a jiff!” Then he sprung up to his feet, one hand on top the table to catapult himself over it and out the booth. As soon as his shoes hit the floor, he raced off, disappearing into the bar crowd.

...okay?

Should I be afraid? Yes, I think I should be afraid. Very, very afraid.

My eyes squinted, scanning the crush of soberly-challenged people out there, searching for that distinctive fiery head of hair. Should have been easy given Lea was a living embodiment of Mount Fuji, but even so, I was having trouble spotting him.

A sudden blur darted out of the throng and landed hard on the cushion beside me, crashing into my side and distracting me from my hunt.

Said blur was Anna. Surprise, surprise.

“Whew!” she puffed out happily, sweating and fanning herself with one hand while the other crammed fries into her mouth. “That boy… Kristoff, was it? Man oh man, would he be in trouble if I didn’t already have a boyfriend!”

Both eyebrows shot up my forehead.  “Boyfriend?” That was news to me. “Since when?”

She froze mid-bite, shoulders stiffening and eyes going round. Then she snatched up her drink, slurping it down as her eyes shifted rapidly about. Then with a loud gulp, she at last let out a weak laugh, “It, uh… it’s new! Yeah, we… met… at the wedding! Sorry I didn’t tell you, I just didn’t want to say anything because I, er… felt bad! With, ya know, your love life all in the toilet and the bombed engagement and whatnot, so… heh…”

“Oh,” I averted my gaze with a tiny frown. At the wedding, huh? Was it someone from his side of the family? Or maybe a friend of his? Regardless, it didn’t really matter I supposed. I directed a soft smile her way, “I’m fine, really. There was no need for you to hold back. You know you can always tell me anything.”

“I know that!” she laughed, flicking one hand dismissively. “But please, it’s me. I have a new beau like every other week, so it’s hardly anything to stop the presses over! No, the real scoop here is what’s the deal with you and Lea? I wanna know everything!”

“Lea?” I creased my brow, making another quick visual sweep for the guy in question. Still no dice, but I did see Yuffie across the way playing a game of Darts with Meg and Terra. Though… could it still really be called Darts when the projectiles being used were more of those little ninja stars? Either way, it came as little to no shock when next a scowling Leon could be glimpsed making a beeline for the trio. “What about Lea?”

“Don’t play coy! I saw you two getting all cozy-like in this booth here all by yourselves just a minute ago!” her eyebrows waggled.

I scoffed. “There was nothing cozy about it. We were just talking.”

“And smiling. Like, a lot.”

“So? People smile when they talk.”

Anna rolled her eyes. “Yeah, people. You don’t. Except for with me and Ray-Ray.  Plus,” and here she got in my face, jabbed a finger into my collarbone and paused with all the drama of Sherlock Holmes about to reveal the key piece of evidence at the climax of an epic murder mystery.  “...you laughed.”

Eyelids drooping, I grumbled, “I laugh all the time.”

“Nu-uh! And not like this, you don’t! Gawd, it’s been… I don’t even know how long since I heard a noise like that out of you. You can’t fool me, there’s definitely something between you two. A… a spark!”

A half groan, half huff escaped me. Anna was always like this. She’d binged one too many romantic comedies in her as of yet short existence on this earth. I’d been considering telling her about the Kissident, but now? Bad idea. Like, in all the history of bad ideas, it would just be the absolute worst. She’d have a field day with that one. Better to keep it on the hush-hush for the time being. “There is no spark! There’s not even a… a flicker! Or a glimmer! Or a glint! Not even a fizzle, okay? We’re just friends. Besides, I just broke up with a fiancé not even a month ago, so alleged sparks are the furthest thing from my mind, understand?

“Methinks the lady doth protest too much,” she slyly brought the Golden Chocobo back up to her lips.

Eyes narrowing dangerously, I cracked my knuckles, “Methinks if the little sister doth enjoy breathing, she’ll knoweth when to zip it.”

“Methinks the little sister is zipping it forthwith!” Anna chirped with a two finger salute. There was a lull as she plucked another fry to give it a nibble. Then, “Sis, can I just tell you how amazing this is?”

My head dipped to one side. “What is?”

“This!” Her arms spread out wide before bringing both hands in to gesture at me, “You! Being out in the real world! Making it on your own! Meeting new people! Having a job! All of it! You’re different! It’s a good different! And this is just the start too, I can already see it, you’re gonna do great things. I’m so proud of you,” she cooed, pinching my cheek.

I swat her hand away, “Great things? Please, Anna… I scoop ice cream at a mall.”

“Yeah, for now! But that alone was a huge step for you. I mean, c’mon, if someone had told you a year ago that you’d be out from under Mom and Dad’s tyrannical thumbs and doing the whole independent thing, you’d probably would’ve just thought that person was spouting crazy talk.”

“I suppose that’s true,” I murmured, feeling the hint of a grin pulling at one side of my mouth. “I guess… I never knew what I was really capable of.”

“Well, now you’ve had just the kick in the rear you needed to find out!” Her smirk then slowly faded into a tiny grimace. “Listen… I’m so sorry about what happened. If I’d known how unhappy you were, I never would’ve let you get all the way up to the day of wedding bells before-”

“No, it’s okay. You don’t have to apologize,” I shook my head, putting my hand on top of hers. “It wasn’t your job to save me, it was mine. I just… should have done something about it sooner. Then maybe things wouldn’t be the disaster zone I imagine they are now back at home,” I puffed out a heavy sigh.

Anna laughed, “You got that right! Mom and Dad? Still hella pissed! So any thoughts on when you’re gonna talk to them?” I winced, looking away. She hastily tacked on, “No rush or anything! And you don’t have to worry about me spilling the beans to them either about where you’re laying low! Take all the time you need. I just think-”

“Sorry to interrupt ladies!” We both jumped slightly in our seats as Lea made a sudden reappearance, skidding to a stop beside our table, eyes bright and ear-to-ear grin splitting his face in two. “But I’m gonna need to borrow El here for a minute!”

“Of course!” Anna giggled, standing up from the booth to clear a path out for me. “She’s all yours!”

Um… excuse me?

Don’t I get a say in this?

“Thank you!” he singsonged before snatching my hands in his and yanking me up out of the booth and onto my feet. “Come on, we’re up next!”

Up? Up where?

He started to turn but stopped, tapping a finger to his pursed lips. Then the smile was back with a vengeance as he picked up the Shiva and shoved it into my hand. “Lil liquid courage never hurt!” he gave a firm nod before taking my other hand in his once again and sprinting off, me doing my best not to spill the drink as I stumbled and tripped after him.

I had a bad feeling about this.

“Where are we going?” I called out as we weaved a path through the crush of people, ignoring the soft, weird buzz I was feeling where my fingers were interlaced with his.

Not breaking stride, he turned his head just enough to glance at me out of the corner of his gaze, eyes crinkled. “You’ll see.”

My bad feeling now had an added side of gut-wrenching dread thrown in on the house.

Particularly because I was pretty sure we were heading straight for the-

“Next up on the karaoke stage,” a female voice suddenly rang out over the speakers high above while the music coming from the jukebox faded away, “we have Elsa and Lea here to sing a duet for us! Please welcome them with a round of applause, everyone!”

The room erupted in cheers and clapping as we at last broke out of the dense crowd to find ourselves directly in front of the stage.

Aka my worst nightmare.

Well… at least at the moment.

My nightmares had a tendency to pass around the highly coveted and sought after “Worst” title, depending on which one was most pressing at any given second of the day.

There wasn’t that much to it. The stage was made of dark, polished hardwood with maroon, heavy velvet curtains hanging behind it to decorate the back wall. There were a couple of stands for the cordless mics accompanied by a lone barstool between them. And of course, the karaoke machine itself, front and center with a large screen on top of it for displaying the lyrics. As a whole, it was almost deceptively innocent looking in its simplicity.

But I knew better.

I’m on to you, you miniature torture chamber cleverly disguised as fun for the whole family.

“Surprise!” Lea beamed down at me. Then another tug at my arm and I was staggering to keep up once more as he brought me around to one side of the stage and up its stairs. I tried to put on the brakes, but my legs had turned to jelly, rendering them useless. Instead, it was all I could to stammer and splutter as he chipperly explained, “So as far as available songs go, it was slim pickings when it came to duets, nothing but cheesy love songs. But I think I picked the best one of the bunch, super energetic, should be loads of fun and-”

“No!” I at last managed to get out, jerking my hand free, whirling on my heel and marching back down those steps at warp speed.

He was quick to follow, grab me by my shoulders, spin me back around and guide me up again, still with that stupid grin in place. “Aw, c’mon! You asked me for ideas on new things for you to try! So here you go!”

“Who says I haven’t done this before?” I hissed, feet now scraping across the stage as he slid me along it.

Lea snerked through his nose. “I took a wild guess.”

“That was awfully presumptuous of you.”

“So what, you telling me you’ve sung karaoke?”

“No, but that doesn’t make you any less presumptuous!”

We came to a stop now next to the mics. He stepped in front of me and bent down to my eye level, his hands still firmly gripping my upper arms to keep me from bolting. “Come on, El! Do it for me! As a favor to a friend!”

I shot him a deadpan look. “Fun fact: we’re no longer friends.”

“Since when?”

“Since ten seconds ago when you dragged me up here against my will.”

“Pfft, you don’t mean that,” he finally released me, ruffling my bangs and rolling his eyes before stepping over to the mics, unblocking my field of vision. That’s when I saw it.

All.

Those.

People.

Watching. Murmuring. Waiting. I’d already known the bar was packed, but now, up here, sensing every single last one of those eyes on me, the place seemed to be all but bursting. There were just… just so many! I-

Wait, was the crowd shrinking? And not as is thinning out, but were the people actually getting... smaller?

“Oof!” I wheezed out a surprised grunt as my back collided with something.

Oh.

That’d explain it.

Apparently without me even realizing it, my feet had taken it upon themselves to back me away from the edge of the stage, away from the people and straight into the curtained wall behind me. My hand started groping about, looking for the edge of said curtain, latching on when I found it and sweeping it out for me to hide behind. Everything went dark.

I am stealth.

A ghost.

A ninja.

Sneakiness personified.

Unseeable, unknowable, and-

The curtain whipped away and I winced as light returned, revealing Lea standing before me. He laughed, “There you are!”

I squeaked, grabbed the curtains and yanked them in front of me once more.

Now where was I? Ah, that’s right… ahem! Unseeable, un-

The velvet curtain flew to the side once more and Lea hooked his hand in my elbow, pulling me out and back towards the karaoke machine. “Trust me, you’ll be fine!  You got nothing to worry about! I’ll be there the whole time, hamming it up and just in general making a big idiot outta myself, so no one's even gonna be looking at you. All you gotta do is stand there and sing your parts when they come up, 'kay? Song’s super short too, so it’ll be over before ya know it!”

My lips parted to tell him exactly where he could take his “super short song” and stick it, but was interrupted by the spotlights suddenly flicking on. One zeroed in on Lea, the other blasted me like a paralyzing ray and I just stood there, eyes wide and unblinking, mouth hanging open and alcoholic beverage still in hand.

Another wave of applause went up for us as Lea tossed me a mic. Frozen stiff, I made no move to catch it, instead just watching it dumbly as it arced up through the air before streaking straight down in front of me to clatter against the stage. He snorted, bent down to pick it up and put it in my free hand, pressing my numb fingers to close around it before he moved to stand in front of the other mic.

My breathing was shallow, my heart was a jackhammer and my feet no longer seemed to work, now just glued to this spot.

Oh god, was this really happening?

 That’s when the music started.

Apparently, yes. Yes it was.

The tune was led in by a quirky, rubbery bassline and a playful piano. Wait… I knew this song. Yeah, it was from a musical. The one full of leather jackets, summer lovin’ and grease lightning. Musicals were a good thing. Musicals were a thing I knew. Kind of a guilty pleasure of mine. Used to sing along with them all when I was little. It could actually be considered kind of pathetic, the sheer percentage of my brain that was still to this day crammed full of all the words to famous Broadway hits.

All that said though… it did absolute friggin’ zilch to calm me down.

“I got chills, they’re multiplying,” Lea started off, dipping his mic stand dangerously low and giving it a wide sweep around before straightening back up and removing the mic from the base. He was no Travolta, but his voice actually wasn’t half bad. “And I’m losing control,” he sang on, spinning on one foot once, twice, three times before abruptly stopping to point at me with a smirk, working some hip action. “Cuz the power you’re supplying… it’s electrifying!” His whole body spasmed from head to toe as he fell to his knees then full on faceplanted at my feet, causing me to jolt back a step.

 ...hamming it up? Please, more like going whole hog! Jeez!

My part was coming up in about five seconds. I could hardly hear the music anymore over the thundering of my heart or the hiss of breath hyperventilating in and out of my nose. That’s when it happened again.

Everyone and everything around me was suddenly in slo-mo.

Man, I really needed to get a handle over my powers of time control!

It was in this uncanny second of my wildly burgeoning mutant ability (ha, if only) that I spotted them. Rayne and Anna, in the front row of the crowd with big smiles to root me on. As I locked eyes with one then the other, my sister gave me an excited nod of encouragement while my roommate was mouthing something to me. Couldn’t be sure, but it looked suspiciously like the words ‘comfort zone.’

Then I looked down at my hand holding the Shiva.

...liquid courage, huh?

...fine. Let’s do this.

Nostrils flaring, I raised the drink to my mouth, knocking back several gulps before slamming the glass down on top of the barstool. Still shaking, I jerked the mic up to my lips, knuckles white around the handle. Like a dam bursting, the words started flooding out before I could even think them. “You better shape up,” oh gosh, was that a quiver I heard in my voice? My free hand down by my hip clenched tightly. “Cuz I need a man, and my heart is set on you.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Lea still flat on the floor but now propped up on his elbows and gawking at me. I looked away, heat flooding my face. Come on now, I know it’d been a while since I last sang so I was rusty, but I couldn’t be that bad. Stubbornness flaring, I took a deep breath and continued, words stronger now, “You better shape up! You better understand to my heart I must be true…”

“Nothing left, nothing left for me to do,” Lea came back in with a fierce grin as he scrambled up onto his feet. “You’re the one that I want!” we both sang the chorus as he landed to my right, doing the iconic dance from the scene in the movie, with a thumb hooked in the waist of his pants and swinging his hips to and fro. “Oo-oo-oo, honey, the one that I want!” In a shuffling side-gallop, he passed by in front of me to my other side and repeated the move. “Oo-oo-oo, honey, the one that I want!” Again with the side-gallop, this time behind me, and again with the little jig. I was biting back a smile. Well, at least he was true to his word… he really was making a big idiot out of himself. It was getting harder to stay mad at him. Harder… but not impossible. “Oo-oo-oo, the one I need, oh yes indeed!”

Lea now moved several steps over to his side of the stage, giving me room as the song shifted in preparation for the second verse that I was going to be starting off. I tensed, spine ramrod straight as I recalled what the next lines out of my mouth were going to be. Feeling my blush creeping all the way down to my toes, I wrung the mic in both my hands now as I stiffly brought it back up and squeezed my eyes shut. “If you’re feeling affection,” I wasn’t here, I wasn’t me, “you’re too shy to convey.” No, I was Olivia Newton-John at the school carnival, oozing confidence in a smoking, skin-tight outfit showing off her killer bod. “Meditate in my direction.” Oof, the next part. How did Olivia pull off that breathy purr? Maybe something like, “Feel your way.”

Harsh feedback screeched through the speakers, making my eyes snap back open. Apparently it had come from Lea’s mic, which he was clumsily fumbling to keep from dropping it. Now having it firmly back in grip, he brought it back up in time to croak out, “I better shape up!” He cleared his throat, banging a fist to his chest and now looking a little red in the face. I guess all that prancing around must have been catching up to him. “Cuz you need a man…”

“I need a man who can keep me satisfied,” I sang back, quirking an eyebrow at him.

Whatever his malfunction had been, he was now bouncing back, face brightening as he ran into a knee-slide, stretching a hand up towards me, “I better shape up if I’m gonna prove-”

“You better prove,” I rolled my eyes and shook my head at his antics, “that my faith is justified.”

“Are you sure?” he asked, hopping back up before my voice joined with his, “Yes, I’m sure deep down inside! You’re the one that I want!” The chorus started again and Lea grabbed my hand, catching me off guard and twirling me into a spin. “Oo-oo-oo, honey, the one that I want!” Now he pulled me up against him, flashing me a cheeky grin as one hand wrapped around my waist and the other took hold of mine, mic sandwiched between them. “Oo-oo-oo, honey, the one that I want!” Unable to resist any longer, a laugh bubbled out of me as he swept us around in circles in time with the upbeat music, bringing his mic up between our lips whenever we needed to sing the next line. “Oo-oo-oo, the one I need, oh yes indeed!”

The chorus repeated a couple more times, Lea continuing to dance us about the stage the whole time. Once when I was able to catch a glimpse out into the audience, I even spotted Rayne and Anna busting a move themselves on top of one of the tables, Riku on the ground frantically gesturing for his wife to get down. When the song finally started to fade, the room erupted in applause and whistles. Lea released my waist, but didn’t let go of my hand, instead tugging me towards the edge of the stage. There he raised my arm up high before he bent into a flourishing bow for the adoring fans, pulling me down into one as well. As we both straightened back up, a smile tugged at my lips and I breathed a sigh of relief as my heart rate finally began to calm down.

I’d done it. I’d actually sung in front of all those people and lived to tell the tale.  And oddly, I was even... almost kind of giddy about it? It couldn’t be that I’d actually enjoyed that? No. No way. That was just the adrenaline talking as it still coursed through my body which was finally getting to relax now that the danger had passed. I was just happy it was over with! Yeah, that’s all it was. It had to be.

As the bar quieted down once more, Lea returned the mics to their holders before jumping down off the front of the stage and pivoting around to smirk up at me, “Damn, El, why didn’t you tell me you were packing a gorgeous set o’ pipes on you?”

There that blush was again, creeping back up my neck. I gave a soft harrumph, “Stop, I do n-”

I was startled into silence as he picked me up by the waist, my hands hastily going to his shoulders as he lowered me down off the stage and deposited me on the floor beside him.

Okay… so that happened.

“I’m serious!” he pulled his hands back, planting them on his own hips as he hunched forward slightly. “You’re trying to figure out what to do with your life, right? Well, I think we hit a ringer here! Ever consider being a singer?”

I turned my back on him with a snort and walked away, heading towards our booth. “Oh, sure. I’ll just have to hire professional wranglers to drag me kicking and screaming up to the mic for every performance.”

“Oh, c’mon, it wasn’t that bad, was it?” he caught up and fell into step beside me. “You had fun and really got into it, I could tell!”

Only because Lea had been distracting me the whole time. “It doesn’t matter either way, only fools try to make a career out of singing. Do you know how hard it is for most people to make it big in the music industry?”

“Yeah, but most people don’t have a voice like yours.”

I groaned, “Please, can we just drop it?”

“Fine, fine, dropping it,” he raised his hands in surrender.  Then, “So… are we friends again?”

I side-eyed him, wrinkling my nose. “...probationally.”

One corner of his mouth twitched upward and he slipped his hands into his pockets. “I’ll take it! And hey, at least something good came outta our lil musical adventure.”

I gave him a questioning look, to which he grinned wider.

“I got to dance with you after all.” 

Author's Note: For those who don't know it, the song they sang is called "You're the One That I Want" from the musical "Grease" - a rather problematic musical at that (as I discovered from rewatching the movie while writing this chapter after not having seen the movie in over a decade) but I still love this song and you can pry it from my cold, dead hands xD Also I may or may not have watched 50 (thousand) youtube videos of couples singing this song at karaoke for IMPORTANT RESEARCH reasons before writing up this chapter. I must say, just simply writing the karaoke scene felt almost as mortifying as if I'd actually had to go up on stage and physically sing the damn song myself! I don't normally write songs lyric for lyric in my stories, but I just figured with what an anxious bundle of nerves Elsa is in this story, it was kind of important not to just gloss over and hand-wavy the karaoke. So yeah, I don't usually write singing scenes, but hopefully this one turned out halfway okay? Anyhoo, on another note, Elsa is a lot better at this whole holding-a-conversation thing than she gives herself credit for… once she gets over her crippling anxiety at the very idea of stringing more than two words together! And lastly, I found a way to give Lea both his names in this fic, woooooooo!

Next chapter, this thrilling night out continues! What further adventures in Friday night drinks await our hermit heroine? Is a career in singing ACTUALLY on the table for consideration or will it forever remain a pipe dream? Will Elsa ever perfect her ninja skills, which seriously leave something to be desired currently? Stay tuned!

Thanks for reading, I super duper appreciate it! And an extra BIG thank you to those of you hit that like button last chapter, seeing that always brings the biggest, goofiest smile to my face!

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

[scarletwelly-boots]

Books Read 2019

It’s time again for my annual books read post (a little earlier than usual, but I couldn’t wait). I read 24 books in 2019, 4 books more than last year, though two are in progress and I expect to finish them by the new year.

It is year four of the reading challenge from Popsugar. There were 48 categories this year, so I got 50% again. Unlike last year, I did not change any categories, but I may have taken liberties with some again, we’ll see. So, without further ado, let’s begin the list. [Under the cut]

1. How to Train Your Dragon, by Cressida Cowell (A book becoming a movie in 2019). Okay, so there have already been two movies in this series, but the last one (*sob*) came out this year, so it counts. I read this book and a few of the others in the series a few years ago, but revisited the first one this year. It’s really good, but don’t go into it expecting it to be like the movies. The character names are the same, but that’s about it. If you can get your hands on the audiobook version, it’s read by David Tennant, which is excellent. Definitely recommend; it’s just as good as the movies.

2. Little House in the Big Woods, by Laura Ingalls Wilder (A book that makes you nostalgic). This is another reread. My dad read the whole series aloud to my sister and I when we were barely older than Laura is in the first book. It was the series he read before the Harry Potter books came out, and we both got sucked into that series. So yeah, very nostalgic. This is a series of semi-autobiographical stories chronicling Wilder’s pioneer childhood, and this is the first in the series. Some of the language doesn’t really age well, but for the most part it’s a delightful book.

3. An Absolutely Remarkable Thing, by Hank Green (a book you think should be turned into a movie). Holy. Shit. I was very, very pleasantly surprised by Hank Green’s debut novel (and yes, John Green is his brother). This is a mysterious book about first encounters and internet fame, with a queer young adult (like, really YA, as in post-college) protagonist. She’s kind of shitty sometimes, but I would argue all twenty-somethings are shitty sometimes (I mean, I literally typed “*sob*” two entries up, like I’m channeling my 2009 self, and I didn’t delete it.). I would highly, highly recommend. And apparently, SOMEDAY, there’s supposed to be a sequel, thank GOD.

4. Loki: Agent of Asgard, by Jason Ewing (a reread of a favorite book). I could actually get away with a reread for this one! I love this graphic novel series. I love how they depict Loki, how he finally gets a goddamn redemption arc. It’s a really fun read. Check it out.

5. The Beast Within, by Serena Valentino (a book inspired by mythology, legend, or folklore). A companion novel to Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. I don’t really remember much about this book. It was weird. But like, it plays with the timeline and the curse a little bit, where the beast gets cursed but doesn’t become a beast immediately. He slowly transforms as his behavior gets worse and more cruel. Apparently he used to be friends with Gaston, but Gaston forgot about him once he finally transformed. Really weird. If you’re obsessed with this fairytale like I am, give it a shot. If not, it probably won’t be that interesting.

6. Pride and Prejudice, by Jane Austen (a book you see someone reading on TV or in a movie). Another reread. I know it’s a classic, but I seriously just love this book. 

7. Howl’s Moving Castle, by Diane Wynne Jones (a book about someone with a superpower). Another reread of a favorite book, what can I say. The movie is my favorite movie, but the book is better.

8. Carry On, by Rainbow Rowell (a book told from multiple character POV’s). Okay, listen. I had to reread this book, because it had been a few years and the sequel came out this year. Think of this as generic brand Harry Potter if Draco was a vampire, was Harry’s roommate, and helplessly in love with Harry. I’m serious, it’s generic brand. But damn if I don’t love it. @JKR, this could be us but Harry had to be the jock that married his high school sweetheart and grew up to be a cop. Definitely read.

9. Franny and Zooey, by JD Salinger (a book with no chapters/unusual chapter headings/unconventionally numbered chapters). My brother got me this book for my birthday. Before this I had only read Catcher in the Rye, which I started out hating when I was fourteen but turned into loving when I was nineteen. Honestly I think this novel is better than that one. I really loved it. Highly recommend. What’s it about? Who the fuck knows? But to quote my brother: “At its core, I think this book is about a smart brother and a smart sister. I think we can relate.” So read it and buy it for the smart brother or sister or sibling in your life.

10. 1916, by Tim Pat Coogan (read a book during the season it is set in). This is an Irish history book about the Easter Rising of 1916 and (what I didn’t know when I started reading it in April) everything that came after that can trace its cause back to the rebellion, all the way to the centennial of the Rising. The Easter Rising was the catalyst of Irish freedom. It was like the Boston Tea Party of Ireland, rather than the Battle of Yorktown (as in it kickstarted the War for Independence but didn’t immediately result in freedom), that is, if the instigators of the Boston Tea Party were rounded up, imprisoned in Kilmainham Gaol, and a week later almost all executed by firing squad. It’s a tedious read if you’re not into Irish history or history in general, but I enjoyed it.

11. Loki: Where Mischief Lies, by Mackenzi Lee (a book set in space). Okay, technically it takes place on Asgard and Earth, but those are planets, and planets are in space, so it counts! I’m still reading it, but I really like it so far. (Honestly I maybe just like the idea of Loki in knee high black boots marketed towards women and black nails. I never promised not to be gay.)

12. Norse Mythology, by Neil Gaiman (a book set in Scandinavia). I’m sorry! I read this book every year. Neil Gaiman is an amazing writer, and we all know I’m gay as shit for some good Loki tales. 

13. Artemis Fowl, by Eoin Colfer (a book that takes place in a single day). Okay, I know people love this fantasy series, and since it’s Irish I fully expected to, too. But I didn’t like any of the characters enough to read the rest of the series, least of all Artemis himself. I struggle to enjoy stories if I don’t like the main character, and Artemis was kind of a shit. Sorry, I did not like this one.

14. Skulduggery Pleasant, by Derek Landy (a debut novel). I just started this one, too, but I really like it already. I think the audiobook is read by the same guy that read Artemis Fowl, but already this is way better than that one. The characters are likable, for one (god, the bar is so low for fantasy books for me right now). It’s a mystery and a fantasy, and the main-ish character is literally an anthropomorphic skeleton detective. It’s excellent. I’m going to read the whole series. (I have to; my mom accidentally got me the 12th installment for my birthday.)

15. Red, White, and Royal Blue, by Casey McQuiston (a book that’s published in 2019). I read this twice. It’s so beautiful. I really expected it to be a shitty YA novel, but it wasn’t! It was very romantic (once they stopped “hating” each other), and gay. The premise sounds far-fetched: First Son of the United States falls for the Crown Prince of England. But, guys, it’s soooo gooooood. Highly, highly, highly recommend. 

16. The Wisconsin Road Guide to Mysterious Creatures, by Chad Lewis (a book featuring an extinct or imaginary creature). I mean, you can make your own decision whether these cryptids are real or imaginary. This is a travel guide to cryptids in Wisconsin, which I got on vacation earlier this year. I liked it, but reading a road guide for pleasure is admittedly kind of weird. Recommend if you’re planning a road trip through Wisconsin and want to stop at some cryptid, ghostly, or Nessie-like hotspots. Or if you just want to fuck Mothman, like me. (Dustybae’s not in this particular travel book though.)

17. Take Me With You, by Andrea Gibson (a book recommended by a celebrity you admire). Okay, so it was by a celeb I admire, not recommended by. This is a very quick read, of quotes from Gibson’s poetry. They are a queer spoken word poet with some really good pieces. They’re on spotify and apple music, probably among other sources. Recommend their work, but the book is very short, so maybe only purchase if you enjoy their work.

18. This is How it Always Is, by Laurie Frankel (a book about a family). This book was really, really good. It was passed around the aunts in my family until it got to my mom and I, which was really kind of a magical thing. It’s about a family navigating the challenges and gifts of raising a trans child. I cried a couple times, and it was so good. It’s written by a parent of a trans child, so it came from a place of understanding, and it was interesting to read this type of narrative from a parent’s perspective, when usually being genderfluid myself, I tend to consume media that is from the perspective of trans characters themselves. I had some very interesting conversations with my aunts and mom about it, and I really think this book changed my family a little bit, and I didn’t expect it to change me, too. Highly recommend. 

19. Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, by Suzanne Clark (a book that includes a wedding). So the wedding is at the very beginning, and sadly not between Strange and Norrell. But it’s really good. Lots of magic, lots of regency-era Britishness. The book is huge, but there is a miniseries on Netflix based on the novel and that’s really good too. Highly recommend, and still in love with my man John Childermass. Hnng.

20. Wayward Son, by Rainbow Rowell (a book by an author whose first and last names start with the same letter). Sequel to Carry On. Sheer madness. I loved it. Think of it as generic brand Harry Potter post-DH, if Harry sprouted dragon wings during the final battle, is gay as shit for Draco, and a year later Harry, Draco, and Hermione are set loose on America with .5 seconds of research, severe culture shock, one cell phone between them, and a half-assed plan to rescue Ginny who may or may not want to be rescued. Shit show, but well done and I’m fully invested and ready for the third installment.

21. Good Omens, by Neil Gaiman (a book with a two-word title). I’m sorry, I need to shift to caps for this. GUYS I FUCKING LOVE THIS STORY YOU HAVE NO IDEA IT IS THE GREATEST THING THAT HAS EVER COME INTO MY WORLD! I MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE WATCHED THE AMAZON SERIES THIRTEEN TIMES TO DATE AND IMMEDIATELY DEVOURED THE BOOK IN THREE DAYS. You don’t know what it’s about? Where have you BEEN?! An angel and a demon who are gay as shit for each other and love humanity way more than either of their respective sides. One downside is that as the miniseries came out like twenty years after the novel, my two favorite parts were only written for the series, and are not in the novel. But the book is still very, very good. 15/10.

22. Dumplin’, by Julie Murphy (a book revolving around a puzzle or game). I took game to mean competition, so this is about a beauty competition. I watched the Netflix movie first. I honesty thought I was not gonna like it, but holy shit it was amazing. Admittedly I think the movie was better (despite having Jennifer Aniston in it), but the book was really good, too. Recommend.

23. The Picture of Dorian Gray, by Oscar Wilde (your favorite prompt from a past Popsugar reading challenge; a book with a queer protagonist). God, please read this book. This has been up there in my list of favorite books since I was fourteen. Oscar Wilde is a master storyteller, and Dorian Gray is intriguing and despicable and beautiful. I’ve already read this, but I love it too much not to.

24. Terrible Queer Creatures, by Brian Lacey (a book set in an abbey, cloister, monastery, vicarage, or convent). Okay, so it’s not set there for the whole book, but gay monks and nuns are things. This was another birthday present, and an absolute hit. Combining two of my favorite things: Irish history and queer history. I had no idea a book like this existed. I’m still really excited about it. The only issue I have is that most of the one chapter dedicated to gay women involve biographies of people that were actually probably trans men, like Dr. Barry. They could have probably had a separate chapter and then a chapter of the clear lesbians and bisexual women (including trans women, of course). Lumping them in with the women in a chapter specifically dedicated to queer women did not seem particularly inclusive. But overall I really enjoyed the book.

Top Ten Books of 2019 post will be forthcoming.

[individuationfic]

Seeking to Seize Chapter 17

AO3

‘Is this really the time to be worrying about a school festival?’

Yosuke has the nerve to look offended. ‘The team needs the morale, Partner! As long as we keep checking the Midnight Channel, what’s the harm?’ They’re in Yu’s uncle’s living room doing homework, and even though Nanako is taking her bath upstairs and his uncle is at work, Yosuke keeps using sign language. It makes Yu feel warm. ‘You could use a distraction, too. I can tell how stressed you’ve been lately.’

Yu sighs, because Yosuke’s right. All this waiting makes him antsy. He almost wishes the killer would make a move so they could get a lead. But that’s probably a bad thing to hope for, so he doesn’t bring it up. Instead, he signs, ‘Is that why you signed the girls up for the pageant?’

‘The only other two people signed up were Hanako and Kashiwagi-sensei.’

Yu makes a face that makes Yosuke laugh. ‘Are teacher even allowed to do that?’

Yosuke shrugs. ‘There’s no rule against it. I think Kashiwagi-sensei is the only one who’s ever tried.’

‘How does she even still have a job?’ Yu asks. ‘If she were a male teacher, she would’ve been fired a long time ago.’

‘King Moron didn’t exactly give the school a lot of time to find a replacement. Besides,’ Yosuke adds, ‘we just have to deal with her for a few more months. She won’t be teaching third years next year, so we’re safe there.’

Yu’s heart almost stops. ‘Yosuke,’ he signs, fingers heavy, ‘I won’t be here for our third year. I’m going back to Tokyo.’

Yosuke’s face falls. “Oh, yeah,” he says aloud.

Lighthearted conversation effectively ruined, they return to their homework.

The group date café is just as awkward as Chie thought it would be. She doesn’t even get to sit across from Yukiko because the class rep is here, so she has to look at Kanji instead. At least Kanji’s trying, she thinks, suppressing the urge to glare at the class rep.

Then Yukiko answers a question with, “My favorite hobby is defeating Shadows,” and Chie’s stomach drops. Yosuke rushes to cover it up and Chie, to change the subject, says the girls will ask the next question. Yukiko asks, “What kind of girls do you like?”

Yu, who has been a little downtrodden, looks Yosuke in the eyes and signs, ‘Yosuke.’

Yosuke goes red and averts his eyes.

‘You didn’t seem too surprised about the crossdress pageant,’ Yukiko signs to Yu as they walk to the home ec. room to ghim changed. They’ve already done his make-up (not that he needed much—he’s pretty for a boy) and borrowed a silver wig from the drama club room. All that’s left is finding the perfect outfit.

Yu signs, ‘I figured some revenge was coming. Yosuke really railroaded you guys, and Kanji and I didn’t try to stop it.’

‘What were you thinking in terms of costume?’ Yukiko asks as she pushes the door to the home ec. room open.

Their eyes fall on it at the same time and they know.

Yosuke feels exposed in a way he really doesn’t like. “How do girls wear these?” he hisses at Chie, tugging at the bottom of the pink skirt he’s been forced into. “One wayward breeze and everyone will be able to see my nads!” He bends at the knees to scratch at his shins. “And these socks are itchy as hell!”

Chie gives him a quick smack on the arm. “Cut that out! You’ll flash everyone!”

“Well, you should’ve given me a longer skirt!”

“Stop complaining! I have to wear a bathing suit in front of the entire school thanks to you!”

“You’re scaring the emcee,” Rise says,  a laughing tone in her voice, and Yosuke and Chie turn around and see her walking up the short set of stairs leading from the floor to the stage, leading Kanji who is, for some reason, dressed like Marilyn Monroe. His knees are slightly bent and he keeps swinging his hips to watch the white skirt of his dress swirl around him. Yosuke can barely keep  himself from laughing.

Chie cranes her neck to look around them. “Where’re Yu and Yukiko?”

Rise shrugs. Kanji says, “Amagi-senpai says it’s gonna be a surprise,” in his usual deep voice, which is extremely inappropriate for his current appearance.

Rise’s phone buzzes, and she laughs when she reads the text. “Teddie is giving Naoto-san some trouble,” she says. “He wants winged eyeliner and they don’t know how to do it.” She flips her phone closed and tilts her head up to look at Kanji. “Do you mind if I run and help? I’ll be sure to vote for you even if I’m not back before the whole thing starts.”

Between the layers of makeup and the dimly-lit backstage it’s hard to tell, but Yosuke things Kanji is blushing. “Go help Naoto-san,” he says. “No one should stand alone against Teddie.”

Rise laughs again and scurries away. Chie glances at her own phone and says, “I better go, too. I gotta save a place for Yukiko when she finally shows up.” She levels a glare at Yosuke. “Don’t flash anyone!”

The emcee doesn’t wait much longer before he starts the pageant, even though Yu and Teddie still haven’t arrived. From his place off stage, Yosuke hears him ask “Kanji-chan,” “What would you say is your best feature?”

“My eyes,” Kanji replies, and the crowd laughs.

“An eloquent heiress of thee noble Junes,” the emcee says, “she’s pure disappointment from the moment she opens her mouth!” Ouch. Rude. “Presenting Yosuke-chan of the second year class two!”

Feeling more awkward than he’s ever felt in his life, Yosuke walks to stand next to Kanji and, meek, says, “Hi.”

The crowd gets noisy again, and Yosuke wants so badly to retreat. Calm yourself, Jiraya says in his mind. This moment will not define you unless you let it. Relax. Let yourself have some fun with this.

He takes a deep breath and nods, mostly to himself. When the emcee asks if he normally dresses like this, he giggles and says, “It’s not my usual style. The skirt is a little too short for my taste.” And this time, when the crowd laughs, Yosuke somehow knows they’re not laughing to be mean—they’re laughing because they think he’s funny.

“We’re laughingstocks up here!” Kanji hisses in his ear over the din.

“No,” says Yosuke, “we’re the only ones with enough balls to go through with this.”

The emcee suddenly brightens. “She has the mildly bitter tang of the city,” he says, “and her lack of a voice has only made her more endearing! Presenting our transfer student who’s been breaking hearts in the second year class two, Yu-chan!”

It’s instinct that drives Yosuke to turn his head, so seek Yu out, and his heart drops when his partner comes into view.

Because Yu looks goddamn beautiful.

It’s obvious he and Yukiko took this more seriously than the others. He’s wearing a light colored kimono detailed with a likeness of Mt. Fuji, and his silver wig has been styled and pinned into place with an ornate hair ornament. He carries himself with a dignity Yosuke didn’t think was possible when crossdressing. How is he so pretty? he asks himself.

Jiraya says, You should tell him how you feel before someone else takes him away from you.

Him being gay doesn’t mean he’ll like me! Yosuke retorts. You’re the one who told me that!

If you think this is the same kind of situation, you are far more oblivious than I thought.

You’re supposed to be on my side here!

I am. You just don’t see it yet.

Then Teddie blazes onto the scene dressed up like Alice in Wonderland, and Yosuke is jarred from his thoughts for the time being.

No one’s particularly surprised when Rise wins the real pageant. She knows the boys and Naoto-san tried to spread their votes evenly between her, Chie-senpai, and Yukiko-senpai, but the rest of the school didn’t care. And, sure, maybe she used some of her Risette charm, but she’s a competitive girl. So sue her.

She and the other girls put their school uniforms back on and they meet up with the rest of the team. Rise grabs one of Kanji’s arms and one of Naoto-san’s, linking them together in a chain. “The festival’s almost over. What should we do now?”

Before anyone can answer her, Yu-senpai’s uncle drops Nanako-chan off with them. She’s delighted; she loves Nanako-chan. Everyone on the team does. It’d be hard not to love such a cute, innocent little girl. Nanako-chan hangs onto Yu-senpai’s pant let as they discuss what to do next, and when Yukiko-senpai offers the inn and hotsprings to them, she smiles hard and wide enough to shame the sun.

Kanji-kun swings Nanako-chan up on his shoulders as they walk to the bus stop, with Naoto-san walking on one side and Rise on the other. “Do you want to take a bath with the girls or with the boys?” Rise asks Nanako-chan.

Nanako-chan screws up her face to think and says, “The girls. Onii-chan already takes a bath with me sometimes if I’m really sad, so I wanna try taking a bath with girls for a change!”

A thought suddenly occurs to Rise and she leans forward to look at Naoto-san. “Who do you feel comfortable bathing with?”

Naoto-san opens their mouth to reply, but Nanako-chan interrupts. “Naoto-niichan should take a bath with the other boys!”

Kanji-kun looks ready to say something when Naoto-san speaks instead. “Nanako-chan,” they say, “I look like a girl, and I dress like a boy, but I don’t feel like either. Since the Amagi Inn only has girl bath times and boy bath times, Rise-san wants to know when I would like to take my bath.”

Nanako-chan seems confused. “If you’re not a boy, I can’t call you Naoto-niichan, and if you’re not a girl, I can’t call you Naoto-neechan. What can I call you, then?”

And Rise can’t help but laugh, because of course that’s what Nanako-chan would be worried about.

There’s something a little strange about Onii-chan’s friends, Nanako thinks.

They’re all very nice! They treat her well, not like a nuisance like her dad’s work friends do sometimes. But none of them really look like they should be friends. Nanako has never seen a TV show where a delinquent becomes friends with an idol, or where the son of a big store like Junes becomes friends with a detective. But her teachers always say not to judge based on looks, so maybe this is actually normal.

Then she gets in the bath with some of them.

It’s the girls’ turn first, so Nanako lets Onii-chan help her into her yukata when they get to the big room everyone is sharing. He smiles at her like he’s saying “Have fun!” and she’s whisked off by the girls and Naoto-san. (Nanako doesn’t like calling them “Naoto-san.” It makes them sound old, like someone her dad would go drinking with. She has to find something else to call them.)

After they wash, Yukiko-neechan helps her put her hair up so it doesn’t get in the hot water. “You can wear your towel in the water,” she says as she tucks one corner of Nanako’s fluffy white towel against her skin to keep it secure, “but you don’t have to.” Nanako notices that Yukiko-neechan’s towel is a lot looser than her’s. She probably won’t wear it in the bath.

Rise-neechan doesn’t even bother wrapping her towel around herself. She just holds it against her front to hide her bathing suit parts. Her skin is really pretty, Nanako notices. Pale, no moles or freckles. Is her skin nice because she’s an idol? Or is she an idol because her skin is nice?

Nanako pauses at the edge of the bath, and, after some deliberation (seeing all the other girls doing it), drops her towel.

Rise-neechan, she sees, is the only one with perfect skin.

It’s not as obvious with Naoto-san, because they’re still wearing their towel, but everyone but Rise-neechan has scars. They’re small, for the most part, little silvery lines almost completely faded. If they weren’t all naked, Nanako would have never noticed. Chie-neechan has the biggest; it’s in the middle of her chest, where a bathing suit that wasn’t a bikini would cover it, and it looks kind of like a burn mark.

No one talks about the scars. They talk about how soft Naoto-san’s skin is, or exams, or the school festival, but no one mentions the scars.

Anything but the scars.

So, yeah, Onii-chan’s friends are a little strange, because the girls and Naoto-san are all so pretty and pretty people shouldn’t have scars.

[ezilyamuzed]

Baby

Summary: Who better to give a the Tale of the Winchester’s than the one who has been there through it all?

Warnings: SPN spoilers. Language. A little angsty/fluffy I guess- I don’t know how really to define it.

A/N: This is for @ain-t-bovvered 800 Follower “Tales of a Winchester” challenge. She said that it could be from anyone, and I chose the one that many of us have fallen in love with throughout the years. This is her side of the story. No pairing and includes the last 13 years. 

Any grammatical mistakes are all my own, because I am human & don’t do the beta thing. Remember all comments and feedback are welcomed! If you want a tag in future posts regarding this series or other writings please send an ask! As always thank you for reading! Enjoy!   

*gifs/photos are not mine-obtained from google*

Most of you have already heard the tale of Sam and Dean. The two wayward sons of John Winchester, carrying on with their family’s legacy: Saving people, hunting things. The family business, as Dean likes to call it. Well, I am here to tell you my side of the journey on the road so far. Let me start by introducing myself to you now, I’m Baby.

Now I know this may seem strange to some, an old and worn down car illustrating to you what it is really like alongside the brothers, but as a wise man once said, “Family don’t end in blood”. From their beginnings I have watched them grow, only to become the men they had been destined to be. Through all the trials and tribulations they prevailed, as I watched in the distance awaiting for them to come back to me. To come home. There are endless stories that i could tell, but first, let’s go back a little further to my beginning.

April 24th, 1967 was the day that I rolled through a small town assembly line, unknowing and ready for the adventures to come that would define my purpose within the world. Sal Moriarti was the first family I had known. Although he wasn’t perfect, he trusted me to carry on his purpose he had found in life. Providing bibles to the poor to “get folks right for judgement day” as he would say. He was a good man.

After Sal had died, I found myself once again alone, awaiting my next adventure. Rainbow Motors, a small used car lot in Lawrence, Kansas in 1973 was when I met John. A young, love stricken Marine hoping to find the perfect vehicle for his intended bride. After a little encouragement, from a face I would not see again for many years, he picked me to be apart of his family.

Mary had been a little reluctant with me at first, but it didn’t take long for her to welcome me with the same love that John had shown me. The two of them would sit together, closely on my leather clad seats, holding each other’s hands for hours as I took them wherever they wanted to go. Allowing the wind to blow through their hair, as they exchanged loving smiles. Those are the days I still hold dearly within my memory. They did this for many years, while sometimes even slipping towards the smooth leather of my backseat, holding onto one another through the night. That is where their love for each other would truly come alive, and where Dean’s story really began.

Dean. The freckled faced little boy that was full of mischief, adventure, while also exhibiting a sense of wonder and amazement to the world around him as he stared through my windows. I watched him grow, from a wide-eyed infant, as I carefully welcomed him home from the hospital, to the man you know today. Loudly singing along, off key to the radio with his parents, he would always smile. I wish I could have never let that smile fade, but that was out of my control.

Sam had been born just a few years later. The curious little Winchester, who often would be seen in later years with his face buried in another book while his father and Dean prepared for their next adventure. Although Mary was gone, I could see a lot of her in him. His bright smile and tender care for others let me know that she was still here.

I remember John sitting on my hood that fateful night, clenching his two sons close to his heart while watching the life he knew disappear within the flames. John did what he could for them, but he had been broken after she was taken. That was when I was given my new purpose, as their stories continued. I was no longer just a car to them. I was home. I would shelter and protect them as the tread on my tires wore thin with every mile traveled.

Now being the home of two rambunctious boys, they were bound to add their own marks on me. The little green army man that Sam had decided to place in my ashtray, is still there to this day, reminding my of my little soldier. Dean, being the silly boy that he was, added his own touch of legos within my vents, that still do this day will rattle as the heat from my engine warms them on the cold nights. Then there is my favorite part, the initials carved within my body by the two boys I had already loved so much. They placed their mark on me forever, and forever it will remain.

There have been years of heartache, often moving from one sad ending to another, but there has been laughter as well. Like during the times when Sam and Dean allowed themselves to act like the silly children I had known, pulling pranks on each other often with some assistance from me. No matter what was happening in the world around them, I was there. Parked under the night sky for them to lay across my hood to just stare up at the stars, or to provide shelter when they had grown tired and weary.

Every twist and turn of the winding road brought us all closer together. They all instilled their most precious treasures with me, and a few other items that no other family car would have. But none of that is important right now. What is important is the journeys that have led us to here.

Some of the nights on the road so far would be peaceful, with the only sound heard was the purring of my engine moving swiftly throughout the night. There were others when I pushed myself with the help of one of the boys to get them out of danger, sometimes feeling the blood soak through my interior, only fueling me more to get them towards safety. Those nights were the scariest, but they always kept fighting. Never faltering in their quest to save the people they had met along the way. All while killing some evil son of a bitches and raising a little hell, I was there.

There had been times when I thought my story was going to end, as I struggled to protect them inside my four walls. Every time it would be Dean that would bring my back from the brink of death, leaving all my perfect imperfections in place because, as he said once, it was what made me beautiful. He was the one who was the first to affectionately name me Baby after John had handed him my keys, because the journey and the memories of Mary sitting next to him on the bench seat were just too hard to keep remembering. Since then it has been Dean, with a little help from Sam that has made sure that I was always taken care of. Always ready for the next fight.

It can become tiring, moving constantly from one side of country to another, often only stopping out of necessity before reaching our destination. When Dean had chosen to try the civilian life after Sam had fallen into the pit, trapping Lucifer with him, I knew it was for the best. I have to admit that for a little bit the sound of BBQ’s and him teaching little Ben how change a spark plug would make me smile, knowing that he was finally allowing his weary head to rest. But I missed my family. I missed the adventure.

I have to say that there was some jealousy that came from me when I saw Sam pull up in that newer model sports car when he returned. I may have enjoyed it a bit when Dean and I put on a little show, proving who was the fastest and sweetest car around. I knew that Sam would turn around again, once he remembered where his home was.

The months where I stood, parked away and hidden by that old worn tarp while the boys fled from those after them was the hardest. Not knowing if they were ever to return, brought ache throughout me as I felt the dust growing heavier upon me. When I saw Sam’s solemn face, I knew that Dean had been in trouble, but I never gave up hope that he would return back home.

Family is something you never give up on. While the Winchester’s have been mine, now for the last 45 years, there have been others that I include on that list. Old drunks, youthful rebellions, strong-willed women, mothering caretakers, prophets of the lord, as well as a few angels and demons have all been included. They are the epiphany of what family looks like, through all the laughter, anger and tears. I enjoyed knowing them all, and saddened as I drove most of them to their final resting places, laying down their weary heads to rest for the last time.

What is my life like now? Well we have all found our home along the road we have traveled. I sit resting and waiting for when the boys need me to go on another epic adventure together. I will never complain that the hours are rough as well as the road when we hit a few bumps because I am with them.

I am with my family. I am forever a Winchester. I am Baby.

Forever's:  @waywardbaby @snffbeebee @curly-haired-disaster @waywardnerd67 @dean-winchesters-bacon @jaylarkson @ladywinchester1967 @wildefire @hobby27

[justalittlelitnerd]

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

"No mourners. No funerals."

God I don’t even know where to begin with this book. I guess I’ll begin with being honest: I fully expected to not like this book. In fact going into it I wasn’t even convinced I would finish it. I can’t really explain to you why that is since I didn’t really know what it was about. I think it was because of how often I saw people post about it. 

Now obviously I don’t have anything against fandoms because I love (most) fandoms and think they are great and I love being a part of them, but something about fandoms for books instills a sense of caution in me. So I approached this book with the kind of hesitation usually reserved for approaching strange animals that may or may not bite you before running away. 

But eventually (obviously) I gave in partly because with each post my patience wore away a little more and partly because enough people who’s bookish opinions I’ve grown to trust recommended it to me, but mostly because a copy was readily available at my library and when I saw it I thought what the heck.

I have never been so happy to have been so wrong. I am only disappointed that my own stubborn nature stopped me from reading this book long ago. Don’t be like me. Don’t be a fool. Please go read this book and enjoy all that Bardugo has to bestow.

Now that the truth is out, I’m still not sure where to begin. 

Do I start with the fact that so much happened in the course of the story, but also not enough? So I’m left in that limbo of wanting more, but not wanting the story to end (I know I’m not the only one who draws out reading a series because the thought of closing the door on that world (at least canonically) even if it’s temporary while waiting for the next book is excruciating). I want to live in that space where there are so many possibilities and every one is alive. But I also crave more which is why I immediately went to Tumblr to look at Six of Crow posts after I finished the novel.

“I have been made to protect you. Only in death will I be kept from this oath." - Matthias (pls don’t tell me what I already (possibly) know/fear)

Or do I start with the world that Bardugo has so precisely created? A world that is somehow at once familiar and unfamiliar. Every moment I thought I had a grasp on the word that these characters inhabit Bardugo would remind me that it is not my world, but something a little different, a little better, a little worse. It’s a world that I wanted to recognize my own in but at the same time I wanted it to be vastly different because I read to escape the world we live in. I wouldn’t say that it is a magical world, but it has a little magic in it and that balance is hard to strike, but Bardugo does so skillfully and without hesitation.

“For a second Kaz was a boy again, sure that there was magic in this world." - Kaz 

Really I want to start with the characters, but if I did that I would never talk about anything else. The book describes them as “a gambler, a convict, a wayward son, a lost Grisha, a Suli girl who had become a killer, a boy from the Barrel who had become something worse,” but they are so much more than that. 

Kaz, the tough (supposedly badass) leader of a raucous band of hooligans but is really just a scared, traumatized little boy who’s in love with a girl but just can’t even.

“The old answers came easily to mind. Money. Vengeance. Jordie’s voice in my head silenced forever. But a different reply roared to life inside him, loud, insistent, and unwelcome. You, Inej. You.” - Kaz

“He needed to tell her...what? That she was lovely and brave and better than anything he deserved. That he was twisted, crooked, wrong, but not so broken that he couldn't pull himself together into some semblance of a man for her. That without meaning to, he'd begun to lean on her, to look for her, to need her near. He needed to thank her for his new hat.”

Jesper, my dear, sweet, not so innocent but all too cute, Jesper. Jesper is amazing simply because he is a cinnamon roll wrapped in an enigma. He so easily could’ve been placed simply for comedic effect, but Bardugo let’s him be so much more. He is college educated (a fact that sometimes falls to the wayside) and a gunslinger with a penchant for gambling, a knack for losing, and a weakness for naive boys names Wylan.

"Stop being dense. You're cuter when you're smart." - Jesper

“Maybe I liked your stupid face” - Jesper to Wylan

Wylan, my poor bby, if I could choose any of the characters to just wrap up in my arms for a quick cuddle it would be Wylan. I feel like the poor boy needs it considering he was only really brought along as a hostage and really so he could be Jesper’s love interest (because how unfair would it be if Jesper didn’t have a love interest). I don’t know if I have ever met a character that is so smart yet sweetly dumb and I don’t know if I would ever want to meet another because no one can pull it off like Wylan can.

“Who’s Mark?” - Wylan proving he doesn’t know anything about being bad

Nina and Matthias, the enemies turned friends turned something more turned enemies and so on. They deserve individual comments, but this post is getting long and they were my least favorite of the 6 and therefore get the short end of the stick. Also it’s hard to discuss one without discussing the other because they are so wrapped up in each other from long before I entered their world. I both love and hate their relationship. I hate it because it is by far the most toxic of the three presented (if you think Inej and Kaz are more toxic pls fight me) and the circles they run is exhausting. I understand why their relationship is the way it is and why it is a part of the story and its complexity is what I love because it does show that love, like the world, is not very pretty or kind or nice or always right, but that doesn’t make it any less real.

“She wouldn’t wish love on anyone. It was the guest you welcomed, and then couldn’t be rid of.” - Literally the most accurate description of their relationship ever

And, finally, Inej. I didn’t expect Inej to be my favorite. Coming out of the novel I might have been apt to say that Jesper was (what can I say I love the quirky sidekick - re: Stiles from Teen Wolf). But now it’s two weeks later and I find myself drawn to her character again and again. She is smart and witty and has overcome (quite literally) every obstacle thrown at her. 

"They would learn to fear her, and they would know her by her name. The heart is an arrow. It demands aim to land true." - Inej

She has the most brushes with death in the novel and somehow comes back even stronger. 

“I’ll die on my feet with a knife in my hand” - Inej

She doesn’t fall at the feet of the man that she loves, but instead calls him the boy he is and demands more. 

"I will have you without armor, Kaz Brekker. Or I will not have you at all." - Inej

She is not only an empowering female role model, but a badass who’s not afraid to speak her mind.

“If I want to watch men dig holes to fall into, I’ll find myself a cemetery” - Inej

But mostly she is the hero we all deserve and I’m just a little (okay a lot) bitter that she was subjected the the trope of damsel in distress because she deserves so much more than that and so I hope that is handled well in the sequel (this may explain some of my apprehension in reading Crooked Kingdom). 

"For all his selfishness and cruelty, Kaz was still the boy who had saved her. She wanted to believe he was worth saving, too." - Inej

If you have never listened to another of my recommendations, please listen to this one: read this book. If you hate it, that’s fine, I guess, but I think that it will still be worth the read.

[katymacsupernatural]

Love Meets Again

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader

900 Words

Written For: @spnangstbingo

Square Filled: Haunting

Warnings: nothing but a little angst

“I wasn’t always the one being hunted. I used to be a hunter…,” you whispered to yourself while you were pressed against the cool tiled wall of the bunker. “A really good hunter.”

“We know you’re there!” Sam called out, just in the other room. “I don’t know how you got in the bunker, but you won’t get very far!”

As emotions swirled through your body, you tried to gather yourself. It was hard, hearing Sam’s voice again. The voice of the man you loved more than you could have imagined. You could imagine him in the other room, no doubt wearing one of his multi colored plaids, maybe a tan carhart jacket thrown over it. His long legs encased in a pair of faded jeans. His majagony hair no doubt slipping in front of his hazel eyes before he brushed it back.

A part of you wanted to rush around the corner, throw your arms around him and never let go. But that was no longer possible, but you weren’t exactly sure why. 

“Sam, are you sure someone’s here?” Dean called out, scraping his chair back as he stood up from the table.

“I heard something fall and shatter. I think it came from the kitchen,” Sam answered him.

It had been you. Walking through the bunker, you had come to your favorite room in the large place. With it’s diner style table and antiquated stove, it was different from the rest of the bunker. A place that the three of you, four if Cas was around, would settle down around a meal you had cooked. Or pizza that Dean had picked up. It had been a place of comfort for you, and you had been drawn to it, and your favorite coffee cup still sitting by the coffee maker.

As Sam’s footsteps grew closer to the hallway, you stepped back, quickly hiding in the storage closest just as they both walked by. It was your first glance at Sam in months. His hair was longer, shaggy as if he had been running his fingers through it even more. The growth of a beard on his face, his eyes tired. You wanted to show him you were there, wrap your arms around him before pulling him to his bedroom where the two of you could cuddle up and sleep for the next twelve hours or so.

Instead you stayed where you were, watching as Dean stopped in the hallway, his gun cocked and ready. Tilting his head, he stared right at the closest, and seconds ticked toruoursly along before Sam came back from the kitchen.

“It was Y/N’s mug,” Sam whispered, his voice full of heartache. “Dean, I can’t believe it, but Y/N’s mug is shattered.”

“I’m so sorry Sammy,” Dean consoled his brother. “But maybe it’s time to fully pack up her belongings? I don’t think she’s coming back.”

“I know she isn’t, but it’s just hard. This was her favorite mug and now it’s gone. Just like her.”

“Here, hand it over and I’ll see if I can fix it,” Dean grumbled, taking the cup from his brother.

“Dean, how do you think it broke? There’s no window, no fan going. It’s just and I, Cas is up in Heaven right now. Do you think someone is still in here?”

“It does feel like we’re being watched,” Dean agreed, subtly tilting his head to the closest you were currently hiding in.

Before you could even blink, Dean had the door thrown open, his gun trained right on your face. Frozen in fear, you waited for it. For them both to yell your name, furious and concerned as to why you were there.

Seconds ticked by and nothing happened. Frantically, you raised your eyes to Sam who wasn’t even looking your way but staring at his brother instead.

“There’s no one. I bet the cup was pushed too close to the edge and it just fell. I’m sorry Sammy,” Dean muttered, tucking his gun into his pants before turning and walking away.

“I’m right here! Why are you guys ignoring me?” You cried out. Sam cocked his head, his eyes narrowed for a moment before he moved to follow his brother, his once strong shoulders hunched over in defeat.

Stepping out of the closest, you stared after him, trying to wrap your mind around what was going on. Glancing down at yourself, you noticed for the first time the bullet hole in your favorite purple and black plaid shirt. The dark stain surrounding it.

Things started to click, and you couldn’t catch your breath. “Sam!” You called out once again, feeling this strange bolt of electricity running through you.

“What the…,” Sam turned around, his eyes widening as he saw you standing there. “Y/N? But how? You’re…,”

“Sam, am I dead? Did I come back as a ghost?” You asked before the electricity fled your system and you felt yourself fading away to nothingness.

Sam/Jared Tags: @a-girl-who-loves-disney @aj-reuth @barbedwireandbubblegum @demonic-meatball  @imagine-inc @jaxaboyman @kay18115  @musicalsarelove @lovesamwinchester @mereka18 @sadmac356 @shadowhunter7 @sizzlingbearpolice @sortaathief @unicornblood4ever @winchesterslibrary

Forever Tags:

@16wiishes  @alexwinchester23 @algud @amanda-teaches @andkatiethings @andreaaalove @angelsandwinchesters @anspgene @artisticpoet @atc74 @be-amaziing @bemyqueenofdarkness @bohowitch @buckysmetalgoddamnarm @bumber-car-s @brooke-supernatural16  @brunettechick @camelotandastronauts @captainradicalpassion @chelsea072498 @clairese1980 @darthdeziewok @destiels-new-girl  @dont-you-dare-say-misha @dslocum89  @docharleythegeekqueen @emmazach @emilicious-7 @emoryhemsworth @ericaprice2008  @esoltis280 @essie1876 @generalgoldfishldrm @goldenolaf25 @growningupgeek  @heyitscam99 @highfunctioning-soiciopath @hms-fangirl @hobby27 @ichooseeternalplaces @imboredsueme @internationalmusicteacher @ithinkimadorable-67 @iwriteaboutdean  @jayankles @jensen-gal @just-another-busy-fangirl @justsomerandomarchangel @karlee-fay-my-wayward-son @keelzy2 @leanbeankeane @lifelovelaughangell123 @li-ssu @littleblue5mcdork  @lowlyapprentice @luciferslucille @maui137 @mellowlandrunaway @mogaruke @nanie5 @natashacamillaus @newtospnfandom  @offbeatwriting @percussiongirl2017 @pilaxia @pizzarollpatrol @plaid-lover-bay25 @roonyxx @ronja-uebrick @rosegoldquintis @roxyspearing @samanddeanmyheroes @sandlee44 @shamelesslydean @sillesworldofwriting @sgarrett49 @skyewardolicitycloisdelena91 @smoothdogsgirl @spnbaby-67 @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @spnwoman @sunskittlex @starry-chaos @superbadassnatural @thebikiniinspector @theflameontheinside @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @tina8009 @totallovelesson @tunadean @vvinch3st3r @walkslikesummeractslikerain @whimsicalrobots @wildlandfox @winchesterbrothers-inc @winchesterxtwo @winchester-writes @worldwidehansum @yourvoiceislikearose @zombiewerewolfqueen

[raendown]

Pairing: MadaraTobirama Word count: 5736 Summary: Protostellar - the earliest phase in the evolution of a new star. It begins with self collapse. And it ends by exploding outward in to light, a new beginning.

Follow the link or read it under the cut!

Chapter 3

No one was really surprised when Tobirama’s team of two grew to three after the incident Madara had witnessed. Orphaned so suddenly and without a strong clan of her own to help find her way, Koharu turned to the first strong adult figure who had proven he would care for her. Considering he was still expected to pull his weight and fulfil his duties to keep the village running, he did pretty well raising three wayward kids without letting any of them feel forgotten in any way.

Although it wasn’t strictly necessary – hadn’t really been for quite some time – Madara continued to sit in on their training whenever he needed a bit of uninterrupted time to himself. The only thing different now was that on the days Tobirama took his kids out for lunch or tea afterwards he began to invite Madara along. The Akimichi and the Utatane both regarded him warily at first, no doubt having heard terror stories of him from their parents, but after a few meals in which he did little besides ignore Kagami’s chatter and haltingly converse with Tobirama they eventually got used to him.

There was a time when he would have been insulted not to be seen as a threat by young children he could squish like little bugs. On the day he realized that he actually felt a little warm to have their trust he dragged Izuna out to the nearest practice field right away and beat the stupid mushy feelings back by sheer force.

It seemed the most natural thing when Torifu showed up to practice one day with another little boy wandering after him wearing a hopeful expression. Hiruzen was the heir of the Sarutobi clan and the son of Sasuke Sarutobi, a very well respected man even though they had only joined Konoha’s peace a mere month after the Yamanaka, Nara, and Akimichi. The boy turned out to be a quick learner, a proper son of his line, and Tobirama welcomed him in to the fold as easily as he had all the others.

Madara watched it all happen with a shaking head, glad of the distance he was allowed to maintain. He was prepared to admit to himself that he was impressed with how well Tobirama handled all those children but it wasn’t something he himself wanted to get involved in. Kids had never been his forte. Just because his lifelong dream was to protect them didn’t mean he wanted to help take care of them. Building a village was enough in his books.

And he was certain their parents would object to him setting them on fire, even if it was in the name of learning.

He did find a certain amount of pride, however, in his observation that the child Tobirama seemed closest to was a member of his own clan. Although the man was fair to each of them and never showed favoritism when they were all together, it was Kagami who could be found poking around his office in the tower, Kagami whom he most often escorted home, and Kagami who Madara frequently had to drag away from Tobirama’s house on the fringes of the Senju compound as he was marching his way over to do today.

Dragging the wayward child home wasn’t technically his duty but after passing by a few clansmen gossiping about the situation Madara figured he might as well gather his own proof that there was nothing untoward happening before anyone else thought to. Honestly, he wondered, what did they even think was happening when those two spent time together?

Oh no, education and a proper role model. How awful.

He was admittedly a bit surprised when Kagami answered the door instead of the actual resident, although not much. Most likely Tobirama had felt his chakra approaching and sent the boy over.

“Madara-sama,” Kagami greeted him. “Am I in trouble? Is sensei in trouble? But we didn’t even do anything!”

“Calm down. No one’s in trouble. I’m setting rumors to rest, if you must know. Am I to be allowed in this time?”

“Sensei! Can he come in?” A muffled voice called back from somewhere deeper in the home, prompting Kagami to beam up at his clan head and wave him inside. “I’m helping sensei look for one of his old sword. He says he’ll let me train with it! So cool!”

Madara couldn’t say he had ever given much thought to what the inside of Tobirama’s home would look like. Before peace was made he might have imagined walls dripping with weaponry and the heads of his enemies mounted on pikes in every corner. After getting to know him slightly better over the years, if asked, Madara would probably have guessed that Tobirama’s home would be clean to the point of sterility, everything in its place and obsessively organized just as his desk was in the Tower.

What he never would have guessed was exactly what he found: a mess.

Actually, ‘mess’ did not properly encapsulate the disaster he found inside. There wasn’t much room to move between the massive stacks of books and paper, flammable material as far as the eye could see. Strange, he thought, for someone who spent so many years at war with a clan of fire users. He spotted Tobirama down the hall, weaving through the confusion with practiced ease, and made his way in that direction as carefully as possible; a single foot out of place could bring down a veritable landslide of parchment and he really didn’t want to listen to the yelling.

Kagami, he noticed, was bouncing ahead of him with a practiced effortlessness. Clearly the young lad had visited his sensei often enough to grow familiar with the maze he lived in. Madara wondered if the visits were solely educational in nature or if Kagami was the only one willing to come in here to pull Tobirama’s head out of the ink and back in to the real world. Anyone who lived like this clearly didn’t have very many visitors.

“Did you leave it in your room, maybe?” Kagami asked from where he stood in what might have been a kitchen if not for the five heavy tomes resting in the sink and the open, unplugged fridge filled with oddly shaped bits of machinery.

“Of course not,” Tobirama said. “My room gets a bit messy sometimes; I’d lose it in there.”

Both eyes twitching, Madara wrestled with himself not to comment on that statement. He forced himself to simply forge ahead until he had joined Tobirama in the main room then stood as still as possible to avoid upsetting anything.

All around him was just more of the same. Books stacked upon books, folders and binders and mountains of loose paper. Inkwells and brushes dotted the chaos at random intervals, often stuck inside empty beakers or shoved between the gears of odd sculptures or figures or – actually Madara had no idea what those things were. Curiosity itched under his skin but in order to get to any of them he would need to stick himself to the wall with chakra just to avoid making a mess.

Well, more of a mess.

“It’s not in the pantry,” Kagami said, sticking his head around the corner. “But I did find those explosive tags you said went missing.”

“Well, that’s something.” Their host didn’t look all that concerned about explosives having been lost or discovered in his home. Madara’s eyes began to twitch again.

“This place is…full,” he caught his own outburst just in time. “What is all this stuff?” Up on his toes to feel around the top of a bookcase, Tobirama cast a preoccupied gaze around the room.

“Research projects. Notes for my experiments. Paperwork for the clan. Technically I’m Head now that Brother is Hokage, although our people still bring their issues to him anyway out of habit. He’s nicer, I suppose.” He shrugged and dropped back down to his heels before moving over to another bookshelf and reaching up to search on top of that one.

Despite the fact that he agreed with that – Hashirama was indeed the more cheerful of the two siblings – it didn’t sit quite right with Madara how casually it was said, as though it was only natural and correct for his entire clan to pass him over for a duty that should belong to him. And for such a trivial reason as well! Madara was well aware that most of his clan preferred Izuna’s company to his own yet none of them had ever hesitated to come directly to him with their problems.

He was pulled from his thoughts by Kagami squawking in panic and disappearing under the collapse of an overloaded bookshelf. Tobirama watched with a passive eye.

“Anything hit you on the head?” he asked mildly.

“No. But I found my kunai holster!”

“We’ve been looking for that too,” Tobirama directed his statement to Madara, who slowly shook his head from side to side.

“How can you live like this?”

Pausing to give him a look of confusion, Tobirama shoved his arm in behind a bulging cabinet stuffed with binders. “Live like what?”

“In this mess! There’s no room to live in here!”

“Ah. Well, I do little with my time besides work, so I suppose that would explain it. I don’t have much else to give my attention to. Aha!” Lighting up with a quiet sound of triumph, he extracted his arm to reveal the sword held in his grasp. It was covered in dust but underneath the dullness of neglect was a well-preserved scabbard covered in old scrollwork and a hilt which tugged at some very uncomfortable memories in Madara’s mind.

Kagami’s head popped out of the mess at his teacher’s exclamation, holding both arms up and letting out an excited, “Woohoo! You found it! Now I get to learn super cool sword moves!”

Madara crossed his arms and hovered at the edges of the room while Kagami chattered on about all the things he was going to learn and Tobirama produced a rag from who-knows-where to clean off the treasure he had unburied. Something about the other man’s words bothered him, although he didn’t fully understand why. He didn’t even understand why any of this mattered to him at all, actually. It seemed that somewhere along the lines of his curious observations he’d been dragged in to the vortex that was Senju Tobirama and begun to care almost without noticing.

Waiting for a moment to speak took a while. Kagami was a fairly excitable kid on the best of days and being promised extra training from his favorite person sent his energy levels through the roof. His younger clansman was already dancing around what small amount of space was available, swinging an imaginary sword at equally imaginary enemies and crowing with triumph every time he slayed a new victim. Another stack of books wobbled dangerously when he bumped them with his hip, forcing Kagami to abandon the slaughter and wrap both arms around them. When the coast was clear he stepped away to look back and forth between the two adults with a sheepish smile.

“Perhaps you should be more careful in someone else’s home,” Madara grumbled.

“I’m gonna be an awesome shinobi and grow up to be a hero! I’ll be able to kill anybody I want!”

“That is not how I would describe a hero, nugget,” Tobirama gently reprimanded his student. He handed the now clean sword and scabbard over then wound his way towards the next room as he spoke over his shoulder. “Simply being stronger than your opponents does not a hero make.”

Madara couldn’t help but privately agree with that. If strength were all the qualifiers needed then there would be heroes innumerable roaming the land, keeping the people safe. Wars would be a thing of the past.

“Well then what does it mean to be a hero? I thought it was just…you know…being super strong and saving the day and…maybe there’s a damsel in distress?”

“You’ve been reading too many of my brother’s novels. I thought I told you to just set them on fire if you found any in here.”

“I know! I know! You didn’t answer my question!”

Tobirama paused in the doorway and turned halfway, although he did not look up. His eyes turned distant as he contemplated how to phrase the answer his student wanted and Madara frowned, surprised that he was actually giving it so much thought. It was a simple enough question.

“A hero is someone who moves forward, I suppose. Not just a person who is strong, without fear or doubt, but a person who goes on in spite of those things and gets the job done anyway. Bad people can feel these things too but what separates a hero from a villain is that, at the end of the day, the hero’s actions will have made the world a better place - even if only in some small way.”

Finished speaking, he reached out and pulled something off a random pile as though to pretend the conversation had never happened and make himself look busy. Madara continued to stare while Kagami bounced up on to his toes and clasped his hands together.

“So just like you, sensei! You’re a hero!”

“No.” Tobirama’s voice came sharp, dropping a startled Kagami back on to his heels. “A hero succeeds in his efforts to make the world better. If they weren’t able to do the right thing then the world would not remember them so fondly. I am no hero; I’m just me.”

“Well you’re my hero,” Kagami retorted stubbornly. Tobirama lifted his head finally to stare at his student, eyes wide with something uncertain in their depths. Madara watched the man shift uncomfortably and wondered just what was going through his mind. When at last he spoke again it was in a quiet tone, his words shadowed by whatever dark thoughts were clouding his expression.

“Perhaps you should find a better man than me to call your hero, nugget.”

Cautiously, almost as though he were questioning his own movements or expecting to be pushed away, he reached out one of his hands and laid it gently atop his student’s head. Immediately Kagami lit up like the northern lights, happy to have even a scrap of affection from his chosen role model. Then Tobirama turned back to the doorway and slipped off in to the next room.

While his student resumed his game of make believe, now fully equipped with an actual sword, Madara wondered if he would ever learn something new about Tobirama which did not surprise him. Around every corner there seemed to be some new bit of information which threw his entire understanding of the man out the window, forcing him to look from new angles. How had he gone from pretending this man didn’t exist just to keep the peace to getting so attached that seeing Tobirama down made himself feel down as well?

Setting that thought aside to dissect later, Madara watched Kagami bounce around until he was forced to step in and stop the boy from enthusiastically chopping a wooden cabinet in half with his new sword.

“That is not a toy,” he admonished. “Certainly not something to be played with indoors.”

“You’re right! I’m gonna go show Torifu!”

“Use the practice dummies, if you must, but under no circumstances are you and those friends of yours to start mock sword battles until you have at least some instruction on how to wield that thing.” Madara glared until Kagami nodded, obviously disappointed that his plans had been seen through so easily, but the boy was smiling again in an instant while rushing towards the door.

“Bye sensei! Don’t forget to go get dinner!”

Tobirama’s voice mumbled indistinctly from wherever he had disappeared to. After watching to make sure that Kagami made it out of the house without further incident, Madara very carefully picked his way over to the doorway where Tobirama had disappeared and looked around until he had located his host.

He found the man rummaging through the massive amount of paper covering what might have at one point been a dining room table. Even underneath the table there wasn’t any space, all of it filled up with stacks of books on subjects ranging from the cardiovascular system of the human body to the topography of the Land of Iron. At the moment Tobirama seemed to be most interested in shuffling stacks of parchment from side to side and peeking in behind them all.

“Did you chase my student away?” he asked. Madara huffed.

“Of course not. This isn’t my home to chase someone out of. Although I can’t see why you let him bother you in your personal space so often.”

“I only have so much time before he outgrows me. Call me sentimental but I prefer to enjoy what time I have.” Tobirama shrugged and moved another pile, wrinkling his nose when he didn’t find whatever it was he was looking for.

“Sentimental? You?” Madara snorted. “What do you mean outgrow you?”

He noted the way Tobirama’s movements stuttered and the way he seemed to almost be making a point of not looking back at his guest, answering in a quiet voice. “They all do eventually – outgrow their teacher, that is. Someday I will have taught him all that can be learned without practical experience and he will have no more need of me. It happens with all students; nothing to make a big fuss over.”

“Well it’s not as if he’s never going to speak to you again once he no longer requires a full time teacher.”

“If he follows the pattern of my other students, it is more likely than you think.”

“Other students? What other students?”

“Before the village was formed it was one of my duties to train the younger generations of my clan. Now with less people needed on the front line so much and patrols split between all of the different clans there are more people available to teach the children. I have other things which require my attention so that duty no longer falls to me these days. Kagami and Torifu’s request that I take them on as students was quite unexpected.”

There was something in the way he spoke, a careful detachment which Madara recognized all too well, that said Tobirama cared a lot more than he was trying to let on. Suppressing emotions was something he was very familiar with and he happened to know that it usually went hand in hand with pain – the desire to hide it or to hide from the possibility of feeling it.

“Are you telling me that none of your previous students ever visit you? Speak to you? Seek your opinion on something?”

“Why should they? I am no longer their teacher.”

Madara frowned at him, irritated and offended in a way he preferred not to examine. With a huff he reached over and caught the back of Tobirama’s shirt, hauling him up out of the paper maze he was half buried in, shifting his grip to the man’s sleeve and turning for the entrance hall.

“Come on. We’re leaving.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“You can beg all you like but you’re still coming with me.”

“Where are we going?” Tobirama seemed suspiciously willing to go where Madara was leading him and that was just another thing which Madara prudently choose not to focus on right now. When he answered with little more than a typical ‘you’ll see’ and received no more protests it spoke to a strange sort of trust which he wasn’t sure he had earned, let alone deserved.

Nevertheless he refused to hesitate now that they were already stumbling out the front door. Several streets away Madara noticed that he was still holding Tobirama’s sleeve and that his companion hadn’t said anything about being dragged around basically by the hand. He did his best to convince himself it was only that the shock had rendered Tobirama speechless because the thought that it could be for any other reason made him feel a confusing combination of hot and cold he couldn’t even begin to decipher.

Knowing how jilted and awkward he sounded whenever he tried to make pointless small talk, Madara opted not to say anything until they had made their way across the village and deep in to the heart of the Uchiha district. He finally allowed them to come to a stop in front of a little bakery marked by a sign with a picture of a pie burned in to the wood rather than carved.

“I hope you like sweets,” he murmured, tugging once more to drag the other man in with him.

“Not most of them,” Tobirama replied in a distracted voice. “What are we doing here?”

“Susumu-baa-san!” Ignoring him for the moment, Madara slammed the door of the little bakery open and hollered in to the empty looking interior. “Susumu-baa-san! I’m hungry you old bat; feed me!”

From behind the counter there came a sweet little chortle. “Oh ho ho, hungry are we? I’ll feed you burnt pie shells if you don’t stop calling me grandmother!” As soon as she had finished speaking her head popped up from behind the counter and Madara had a moment to thoroughly enjoy the stunned expression on Tobirama’s face.

Susumu was the tiniest woman Madara had ever met, diagnosed with a form of dwarfism he had never learned to pronounce, but he had yet to see her let that get in the way of living her life. Her confidence was as big as she was small and she wasn’t above using her size to let people underestimate her, usually followed quickly by putting them in their place with more violence than should ever be possible from someone no taller than a child who hadn’t hit double digits yet.

“Oh and who is this little morsel you’ve brought with you?” Susumu hopped up on to a little stool to lean over the counter, narrowing her eyes at a flustered-looking Tobirama. “Unless these old eyes of mine deceive me, you must be Senju Tobirama! What in sage’s name is a delightful little snack like yourself doing hanging around with a soggy old crust like Mada-kun?”

“I am not a soggy crust!”

“Uh…” Tobirama blinked, clearly unsure how to react to being called a snack. Luckily for him, Madara allowed that one to pass without making a big deal about it.

“Susumu-baa-san was my sensei when I was young. Everything I know about warfare she taught me – painfully, I might add.”

“Ay, you bled more than a few times under my tutelage Mada-kun but you never once died, did you?”

“Didn’t I tell you to feed me, you old bat?”

While Susumu waved a thick wooden spoon around threateningly and Madara dodged, both of them spouting vitriol even as they grinned openly at each other, Tobirama could do nothing but stare at them. Madara allowed him a few undisturbed moments to let the reason he had brought the man here sink in.

Not everyone forgot where they came from once they reached the top and not all students abandoned their teachers once they had learned all they could. The Uchiha were taught to venerate their elders and the teachings they had passed on. After all, without those teachings the next generation would not survive passed their first enemy encounter and there would be no one left to carry on the Uchiha name. He wanted Tobirama to know that Kagami would never outgrow him, even if all his other students did, that the boy he had chosen would always choose him in return. Putting that in to words, however, would have mortified them both. Showing him was much easier.

As they bickered Madara watched his old sensei disappear behind her counter, ducking inside the glass case for a few moments and coming back out with a tray of goodies. Tarts and muffins and gourmet donuts all rested against each other, each in several delicious looking flavors, and the second it hit the wooden countertop Tobirama snapped out of his daze to zero in on one side of the tray.

“Looks like someone knows exactly what he wants. Good, good. I like that.” Susumu slid the goodies closer and produced two small cardboard containers. “Well go on then, take a few.”

“How much?” Tobirama asked carefully, his eyes not moving from his target. She snorted at him.

“Don’t insult me. You’ll take them for free, of course.”

“Are you certain?”

Madara snatched up his own container and went straight for the sourdough donuts. “Quit acting like you’re a polite member of society and just take some free food, Senju. Don’t you know how to take advantage of old ladies?”

He grinned and dodged another swipe from Susumu while carefully noting that Tobirama choose the blueberry flavor of both tarts and muffins, avoiding the donuts altogether. Why he might need that information was beyond him but he still took a moment to tuck it away in the back of his mind before clapping his hand down on the man’s shoulder and looking over at his old teacher.

“Always a pleasure,” he told her smugly, rattling his box of donuts. Susumu huffed and waggled a finger.

“What a rotten boy, using a gentile lady for food like this. You owe me a nice evening out for tea. Come by sometime when you actually have time to talk to this lonely biddy!”

“Gentile. Ha.” Still, Madara hitched up his spoils and acquiesced with a nod, steering Tobirama out of the bakery as he called back over his shoulder. “I’ll bring you tea sometime next week, sensei. Probably after my meeting with the elders. You can listen to me rant about how annoying they are.”

“I look forward to it, brat.”

He shook his head and pushed Tobirama out on to the street, immediately ripping open his box to liberate one of his favorite treats. Susumu was infamous among their clan for her ferocity in battle but she was also well-known in more than one marketplace as an incredible baker. Rather than taking the time to savor it Madara shoved the whole thing in his mouth and groaned at the taste, chewing it with relish as he led the way back through the streets of his clan’s district.

At his side Tobirama remained silent until they reached the gates leading out in to the rest of the village, where both of them paused a little awkwardly.

“Why did you bring me here?” his companion asked. Madara huffed.

“If you can’t figure that out then you’re not half the genius everyone seems to think you are.” He sent the man a smug look, unrepentant in the face of the flat expression he got in return.

After the flicker of irritation had cleared Tobirama gave him a slow nod of thanks, holding his gift tightly in both hands, and Madara had the impression that the man was resisting the urge to bow formally. Just the thought of such a gesture from this person was embarrassing enough to make him avert his gaze.

Neither of them bothered with goodbyes as they went their separate ways. Satisfied that he had seen enough today to put his clansmen’s worries to rest, Madara turned towards home to enjoy the rest of his afternoon in the comfort of his own living room. The next time someone pretended to be worried for Kagami’s safety he would have his own testimony prepared and waiting to disprove their claims; if they wanted to stir trouble with people they were supposed to be at peace with then they were going to have to come up with something better than their usual obvious lies.

Relaxing was not to be, however, as he walked in to his living room only to find Izuna there with a bowl of grapes and one of Madara’s novels open across his lap.

Having lived in the same room for their entire childhood, the two of them had both been ecstatic to each have separate homes when the village was first built. Being able to claim so much space as their own had sounded wonderful to a couple of boys who barely managed not to run each other over every five minutes and at first it had been just as wonderful as they always imagined.

Within a month they were both lonely. Neither of them had ever learned to live on their own and as much as they had hated living nearly on top of each other before it was just as hard to live without each other. But there were still times when Madara wished he had the heart to insist upon his own privacy; times like now when he could see the tension in Izuna’s shoulders which told him that the younger man had been lying in wait for him. Whatever it was, he regretted that his good mood was likely about to be ruined.

“I’m not sorry for whatever I did and I am definitely going to do it again,” he announced without preamble, marching through to the kitchen to put his donuts away. No response came. When he came back in to the living room Izuna was still sitting there with his bowl of grapes, popping one of them in his mouth with absolutely no expression on his face.

“Well, it’s not so much something that you’ve done as something you’re doing. And I don’t need you to be sorry, I just need you to explain.”

“Explain what?” Madara sank cautiously down in to his favorite armchair.

“What is going on between you and Tobirama?”

Struggling to keep his face straight, Madara ground out, “I’m afraid I don’t know what you could be implying. What do you mean by ‘going on’ between us?”

“Brother, don’t play dumb. It suits you too well.”

“Hey!”

Izuna shifted the bowl of grapes so he could lean forward and pin Madara in place with both eyes. “Nii-san, what are you doing? You’ve been spending all your free time with him lately and I don’t think you realize how often you’ve been bringing him up in conversation. It’s like you’re obsessed.” He paused to bring his ponytail over one shoulder and tug anxiously at the end. “I’m not judging or anything, I just want to know what’s going on before the rumor mills spit out the wrong conclusion. Are you two…dating?”

“What!? Dating!? Me and Tobirama dating? How could – that’s not even – why would you–!” Madara continued to splutter as Izuna regarded him thoughtfully, sitting back once more to shake his head.

“Oh shut up,” he said. Madara’s jaw snapped shut.

“You can’t just say things like that to people without warning!”

“Answer the question properly, Nii-san. What are you doing with Tobirama?”

Lifting one finger as though to make a point, Madara hesitated before dropping it again. “I have no idea.” When Izuna gave him a stern look he scowled back. “I don’t! Look, I found out something important that I didn’t know before and it made me – let’s say curious.”

“Curious enough to start spending your every waking moment with an asshole like Senju Tobirama?”

“He’s not an asshole! Don’t look at me like that! I’m a grown man and I am allowed to change my opinion if I uncover new information on the subject!”

“Ugh. You’re starting to sound like he does when he goes off about all his dumb experiments.”

“Tobirama’s experiments are for the betterment of this village and everyone who lives in it – including you! So you would benefit from improving that negative attitude. I have it on good authority that the jutsus he invented have saved your life on more than one occasion.”

Izuna peeled back his lips in disgust and looked away from a moment, avoiding that accusation altogether. He couldn’t refute it anyway; he was the one who had come home griping about how irritated and disappointed in himself he’d been for needing Tobirama, of all people, to pull his chestnuts out of the fire. It seemed he didn’t appreciate the reminder.

Once he had composed himself Izuna turned back to his brother and made an effort to speak more calmly, less like he was making any accusations of his own.

“Alright let’s just break this down to the bare bones then. Would you say that it is still true that you hate the guy?”

“No.” Madara answered quickly enough to startle himself and flushed but straightened his back to face the next question bravely.

“Would you call him a friend?”

Giving that a serious moment of thought, Madara breathed, “I would, yes.”

“Okay. Weird, but moving on. You deny that you two are dating but…would you like to?”

Madara stared at his younger brother and worked his jaw soundlessly, unable to answer. His brain ran a mile a minute as all the things he had been trying not to think about and putting off to deal with later came rushing back to him all at once, the protectiveness and the empathy he had been ignoring because he wasn’t ready to deal with what it might imply. Not too long ago he’d been marveling over how attached he had become but facing the truth of that now was more terrifying than he’d thought it would be.

From his spot on the sofa Izuna watched his older brother struggle, his frown growing more and more concerned by the moment. Madara wasn’t sure whether it was concern for a sibling’s health or consternation that there might actually be romantic feelings for the man who almost kill him but he didn’t want to know.

Eventually Izuna’s curiosity because too much for him and he asked the one question Madara had been hoping they could gloss over.

“What was the thing you found that made you so curious?” he asked. Madara breathed deeply and met his eyes, allowing his most precious person to see the conflict within him.

“He thinks we’re soulmates. Tobirama might be my soulmate.”

Izuna’s jaw nearly hit the floor and Madara thought silently that, even after all the time he’d had to get used to the idea, he still sort of agreed with that sentiment.

[hellagayweird0]

Jay’s Season 14 Episode 3 Chat

(Read more will be included)

~ SAMMY AND SAMMY BEARD 😍

~ “Some people say I look good.” YES AND YOU DO, BABY

~ “No.  No, Sam.  No people say that.” Dean I stg don’t you dare insult the Sammy beard, I will hurt you.  SAM LOOKS GREAT

~ “Michael bailed.”  The fandom:

~ Ok camera hi um I like his face but I don’t need to see it so close, thanks

~ Chief is now and forever going to be a nickname I use for Sam in my fics, thank you very much.  I LOVE CHIEF

~ Jack: “Dean?”  Dean: *starts singing* “I heard that you were talking shit and you didn’t think that I would hear it.” *But seriously, that part of the song just automatically started playing in my head when they saw each other 😂*

~ “Is it really you?” Jack noooooooooooo it’s a liiiiiiie

~ Dean and Cas: *smile at each other*  Me: 

~ EXCUSE ME WRITERS WHAT IS THIS BULLSHIT “Dean and Cas don’t hug” THING I NEED ANSWERS I WILL FULL ON RIOT I’M MAD

~ “How’s Nick.”  *crawls into a corner* We don’t mention that name in this household, sir.  He’s not welcome here

~ There are so many layers to suits, damn

~ NEW SCAR, FRIENDS.  TIME TO RESEARCH

~ “Cas, I’m gonna need you to get in my head.”  All the Destiel shippers: 

~ Oh that’s a Dark Kaia and a stabby stab

~ WHAT WAS THAT DRAMATIC ZOOM OUT, CAMERA PERSON?

~ *screams* JODYYYYYYYYYYY I’VE MISSED YOU, MOM

~ Hey Claire my wife, what’s up I miss you

~ Aw Jody happy to hear from her son again

~ OH OKAAAAAY, HOLD ON *pulls out a chair for the writers* SIT DOWN AND LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.  YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT YOU CAN BRING DARK KAIA BACK TO THE SHOW AND INCLUDE HER IN STUFF BUT YOU CAN’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT WAYWARD?  ALRIGHT, COOL, JUST WANTED TO CLEAR SOME THINGS UP (Can you tell I’m totally over this 😆)

~ Oh I’m glad the “giant meat fork” thing has context now 😆

~ AW JACK *hugs him*

~ Dean you can’t come back and just start giving Jack orders.  You aren’t the parent here

~ LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE, DEAN.  NOW BABY CHILD IS ALL SAD

~ “I didn’t mean to be a dick.” *coughs and remembers last season* Sure, Jan

~ (Also ok I get he’s been through a lot and I’m being hard on him BUT I CAN’T HELP IT)

~ Oh hi new people, you’re both adorable and I already love you

~ Ok nope I’m calling so much bullshit here.  You’re telling me that Dean literally cutting Sam off to insist that Cas stay in the bunker and not go with them to help, even though Cas could be a huge help to them, is normal Dean?  He seems waaaaay too eager to have Cas not go with them.  I don’t trust that AT ALL

~ See, Dean and I handle hard times/pain the same way.  By joking, not taking it 100% seriously, and sometimes flat out ignoring/avoiding it.  Not for bad, insulting reasons.  Just because it’s easier to joke than to face stuff.  (Sorry, this took a dark turn 😆 I just wanted to say that.  I relate to Dean a ton.)

~ NOT A SLIGHT B.M. SCENE MY HEART CAN’T TAKE IT

~ AW MAMA JODY HUGS

~ HAHA SEE DEAN, JODY LIKES IT TOO

~ I love the looks they give each other when Jody’s not looking 😆 little things like that make a scene so much better

~ Dean wtf is going on with you, you’re so eager about this, I don’t trust that

~ JACK HEY NOOOO *grabs him by his jacket* PUT THAT STUFF BACK YOU AREN’T RUNNING AWAY GET BACK HERE YOUNG MAN

~HE WROTE THEM A NOTE I’M CRYING (also 2 things.  one, who taught him how to write?  two, HIS HANDWRITING IS AWESOME.)

~ “Like Sleeping Beauty.”  *starts sobbing* Jack, could you be anymore pure?  ALSO WHO TAUGHT HIM ABOUT SLEEPING BEAUTY BECAUSE I WANT TO GIVE THEM A GIANT HUG.  THANK YOU, STRANGER

~ Oh thanks for mentioning Rowena.  I miss my favorite witch

~ “Are you going somewhere?” Cas parent mode is activated YES CAS BE A GOOD DAD I LOVE YOU

~ Jody, you don’t even have to ask, of course you get a vote, you queen

~ Sam is like “Nope this is some bullshit.”

~ AGAIN, CAMERA PERSON, I DON’T NEED HIS FACE THIS CLOSE, CAN YOU FOR THE LOVE OF CHUCK BACK UP?

~ *sings* SUPER MONSTEEEEEEERS

~ DEAN FUCKIN TOUCHED A HOT TIN CAN AND HAD NO REACTION.  I’M SORRY, BUT WTF??  THIS ISN’T FULL DEAN AND I’M STILL. CALLING. BULLSHIT.

~ Oh hey Dark Kaia, my love

~ I love how Dean just casually lands on Sam

~ I LOVE WHEN DARK KAIA IS A NINJA (also what was that “throwing the spear, diving to it, grabbing it, and running off 😆 it was strange but cool.)

~ Ok but for real I’m super curious as to who this AU!Kaia is

~ “Let’s find her and ask.” Oh yeah, I’m sure you’ll have a nice, calm chat over some tea maybe

~ “It’s marked ‘gross stuff’.” Could I love this show anymore than I already do?  The answer is no

~ AWWW JACK JUST SITTING WITH THE GIRL *screeches*

~ “Is that your dad?” “One of them, yes.” If you’ll excuse me, I have to wrap myself in a blanket and sob into a pillow

~ JACK IS SUCH A GOOD LISTENER LOOK AT HIM BEING CUTE

~ Oh that glance, the pressure is on, Cas

~ DEAN I SWEAR STOP GOING SO FAST WITH NO PLAN THIS IS HOW PEOPLE GET HURT HAVEN’T YOU LEARNED ANYTHING

~ Look at that floppy Sammy hair

~ Well isn’t that pretty and purple

~ Now let’s all take a second for dramatic timing to kick in- yup there it is

~ JACK CAN’T HELP HE LOOKS SO SAD NOOO

~ “First love strikes quick.” THEY MADE IT CANON, BITCHES!!  YEEEEEES *breaks out the whiskey* TIME TO CELEBRATE KAIAXCLAIRE

~ Oh Sam knows a little about losing love (I’m sorry I had to)

~ “He’s not ready for this case.” IN CASE YOU HAVEN’T NOTICED, HE’S NOT READY FOR MUCH OF ANYTHING, BABE

~ Dark Kaia jump scare, hi

~ THAT’S GOTTA BE SOME DIRTY WATER

~ Those crackers will dry out your mouth so quickly, my dear.  Take some dirty water with you

~ Here’s Deany

~ Oh well you’re welcome to tie me to a chair any day of the week, sir (i mean what....)

~ “I was trying to kill the blonde.”  Jody: *pulls out a gun* “I WON’T HESITATE, BITCH.”

~ DEAN BACK AWAY FROM MY DARK WIFE

~ Oh no the poor girl!!

~ JACK THIS ISN’T YOUR FAULT, CAS THIS ISN’T YOUR FAULT

~ NO MY TINY SON DON’T CRY PLEASE NO DON’T BE SAD

~ YES JACK SAVE HER YOU GOT THIS BABY

~ DEAN FUCKIN CHILL I SWEAR

~ In what world does a chair slide that easily?  Apparently this one

~ DEAN WTF STOP

~ JACK YOU’RE SUCH A SMART BOY

~ “You’re no different than him.  Threats, violence, anything to get what you want.” *starts clapping*

~ “I am nothing like him.” SURE JAN

~ “Jack, are you sure?”  “No.” *breaks it anyways* I love him

~ Heeeeey she’s okaaaaaay YOU DID IT JACK I’M SO PROUD OF YOU

~ Why do I miss Michael!Dean?  Is it bad that I want him back? 😆

~ Excuse me, don’t kick her

~ Aw Jody

~ Yay new friends coming to visit

~Guys, you didn’t even knock first.  Rude

~ SAM’S ANGRY FACE DOES THINGS TO ME THAT WE WON’T TALK ABOUT

~ “I was never one to turn down a buffet.” ME TOO

~ WHY DOES SAM ALWAYS GET THROWN ONTO TABLES 😆

~ Hi um don’t touch Sam’s beautiful face, thanks

~ GO JODY

~ GET AWAY FROM MY MOM

~ Wait wait wait, would a chair losing a leg really loosen the ropes?  HOW DOES THAT WORK, AM I MISSING SOMETHING HERE 😆

~ Dean: “Now you’re in trouble.” Dark Kaia: *dives out the window*  Dean: “Well shit, never mind.” 

~ NO JODY

~ YES DARK KAIA I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, YOU BADASS

~ I hope we meet again, wifey

~ Jody, you’re such a fuckin queen

~ Aw yeah, Claire deserves to know

~ “I just feel like I already lost before I ever even began.” Was that shade towards what happened (or rather, didn’t happen) with Wayward?  WAS THAT SHADE?  IF SO, I’M SO PROUD AND I BOW DOWN TO JODY

~ EXCUSE ME NO DON’T GIVE ME A SPLIT SECOND OF JODY CRYING I DON’T LIKE HER CRYING NO THAT’S NOT OKAY NOOOOO

~ Jack just lying on his bed, contemplating life, is meeeeeee

~ LIL JACK SMILE

~ I. FUCKIN. LOVE. CAS. AND. JACK. FATHER. AND. SON. MOMENTS.

~ I LOVE WHEN CAS IS PROUD OF HIS CHILD YES

~ Not gonna lie, I had to take like 5 minutes because I was crying over this scene BUT I NEED AN EPISODE WHERE CAS AND JACK GO ON A HUNT TOGETHER PLEASE AND THANK YOU

~ THE LIL SMILE IS BACK

~ Other parents are proud of first steps, first words, and stuff.  And the fandom is over here like AW HIS FIRST COLD HOW PRECIOUS 😆

~ “I’ll make you some soup then.” PLEASE HOLD AS I RESUME MY CRYING

~ NO I’M NOT READY FOR THIS B.M. SCENE, NOPE, NO *jumps out of the impala* *screams from the distance* NOOOOOOPE

~ “I put us all in danger today.  Stupid danger.” YEAH WE KNOW

~ As hard as it is, baby, you can’t skip like that.  You have to be careful.

~ Hey um Dean I don’t like this “putting yourself down” part *hugs him* stop it

~ Are we forgetting that both Sam and Dean have been possessed by archangels?  I’m sure Sam knows what it feels like (I’m not yelling at Dean 😆 I’m just saying)

~ Dean: “I was underwater.”  Me: *breaks out into singing All Of Me* MY HEAD’S UNDERWATER-”

~ NO CAMERA PEOPLE YOU ARE EVIL DON’T YOU DARE GIVE ME A SHOT OF SAM WITH TEARS IN HIS EYES WHO SAID THAT WAS ALLOWED

~ Okay, let’s pause for a second.  Dean, sweetheart, you said yes because Sam and Jack were in danger.  If you hadn’t, Jack would be dead and who knows what would’ve happened to Sam.  You did the right thing, and whatever Michael does/did, isn’t on you.  You had no control after he took over.  You said yes to him helping you save Sam and Jack.  You didn’t know he’d take over and start doing all this stuff.  Not. Your. Fault.  Alright, let’s resume

~ JACK, UM, THAT’S BLOOD.  JACK THAT’S FUCKIN BLOOD.  EXCUSE ME YOUNG MAN WHY ARE YOU COUGH BLEEDING?  THAT’S NOT OKAY IN THE SLIGHTEST.  YOU NEED TO TELL SOMEONE AND GET HELP, DON’T YOU DARE PULL A WINCHESTER AND JUST NOT SAY ANYTHING.  BABY BOY PLEASE IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO YOU I’LL GO HUNTING FOR SOME WRITERS.  PLEASE DON’T DIE

~Also, I’m getting Sam S8 flashbacks and I don’t appreciate this

And that’s it for S14 E3!  This episode was the best one this season so far by a long shot.  It felt like the first real episode.  And for some reason, it felt really short.  But it was still good!  I’m really excited for next week’s episode!  Even though it’s a filler, it looks awesome! (even though Sam beard is gone....I’m not sad....*sniffs*)  And that mystery girl with Sam who I’ve been trying to figure out the identity of for so long is in it SO MAYBE I’LL FINALLY GET SOME ANSWERS.  She’s adorable.

[dreamytfw]

I’m bored and impatient again, so I’m answering stuff from an ask game. OP here. I just want to say preemptively that the shipping questions only pertain to me and how I ship or don’t ship them. I don’t care what y’all ship.

1:What is your Supernatural OTP? Destiel.

2:What’s your opinion on John Winchester? I have a lot of strong feelings about that fucking dickhead.

3:Which season finale was your favorite/least favorite? Favorite: season 8′s was really good. Least favorite: season 10. We almost had Dean in space.

4:Which is your favorite episode? Either Changing Channels or The Man Who Would Be King

5:Which episode makes you cry the most? The episode where Ellen and Jo die ALWAYS makes me cry.

6:Which episode is the funniest to you? The Real Ghostbusters

7:What’s your opinion on Megstiel? I’m okay with it up to a point. That point is crazy!Cas.

8:When did you start watching Supernatural? The hiatus between seasons 7 and 8. I finished my Netflix binge something like the day before season 8 premiered.

9:Which episode title do you think is the funniest? The French Mistake. Gotta love Mel Brooks.

10:What’s your opinion on Garth? I loved Garth! Such a massively under-utilized character.

11:If you could bring back any character, would you? If so, whom? I’d like to finally get Adam out of Hell, but I don’t think that’s quite what you’re asking.

12:Who is your favorite angel? Cas. Duh.

13:Who’s your favorite archangel? Gabriel.

14:What’s your opinion on Wincest? Squicks me the fuck out. Sibling incest does in general. Like, we’re not supposed to want to fuck our siblings guys. That’s how we get Joffery and El Hachizado.

15:What’s your opinion on Lisa? (and Ben, if you want) Ben was kind of blah outside of his first episode. I really liked Lisa and how she refused to take any of Dean’s crap.

16:When did you start blogging about Supernatural? Uh... I think I jumped on board right away?

17:Do you think that Chuck is God? How old are these questions???

18:Do you have a favorite Dick (Roman) joke? If so, what is it? Not a joke, but I’m really weirdly amused that his actor does the voice of a recurring minor character in the Kingdom Hearts series.

19:Which is your favorite episode? We had this question before.

20:Who do you ship Sam with? Samena, but I really love fluffy snuggly Samstiel.

21:What’s your opinion on Destiel? OTP

22:Did you like the first or second Ruby better? iunno.

23:Who’s your favorite demon? Demon!Dean deserved a longer arc.

24:Do you read smutty fanfiction? I fucking write smutty fan fiction (I’m just bad at finishing and publishing it).

25:Do you think Destiel will become canon in season 9? (Regardless of whether you want it to or not) Christ this is old. Unfortunately they did not. But fingers crossed for season 14, aka their 10 year anniversary.

26:Have you ever had a dream about Supernatural/the characters/the actors? If so, can you describe what you remember? All the time. I used to be able to lucid dream to some extent, but since I’ve gone off my psych meds I can’t seem to do it as much anymore. The most recent one I had was the other night. I don’t remember it too clearly, but Sam and I said bye to Dean and Cas before heading off on some sort of mission or something.

27:Which episode is the scariest to you? (Horror-movie type scary) That episode where Sam got his throat ripped out this season was the first time Supernatural has actually scared me. Other episodes have been suspenseful, but I was legit scared during those mine scenes.

28:What’s your opinion on Sabriel? I don’t really see it. MAYBE unrequited on Gabriel’s side, but other than that I just don’t get the appeal.

29:Do you think End!verse will happen? If so, are you looking forward to it? Well, Lucifer’s dead now so I’m guessing no. If End!Verse does happen, Dean and Sam’s places are going to be swapped.

30:Do you have any friends off of the Internet that watch Supernatural? Yes.

31:Do any of your family members watch Supernatural? I got my dad and my brother to watch it, but they kind of dropped it. My mom is currently watching it and I regret everything that has led to this point in my life.

32:What’s an unpopular opinion or headcanon you have? The “romantic” subplots in the Scoobynatural episode were gross and the episode would have been better without them.

33:Do you like AU fanfics? DO I!!!!

34:Have you ever written/started writing a fanfic? See my answer to number 24.

35:What’s your opinion on Samifer? That... really depends on the vessel Lucifer is in. See, I’m a fan of selfcest so if I do read Samifer stuff, I always imagine it as Sam basically fucking himself.

36:If you have an OTP, at what point did you start shipping it? First time I watched. Literally that second episode Cas was in when he was standing in the kitchen with Dean and told Dean to show him some respect I was just like “...are they gonna fuck?”

37:Do you think Sam should have completed the demon trials? Nah.

38:Which director/writer is or was your favorite/least favorite? Favorite: I don’t know. I don’t really pay attention to the good writers because I’m too busy enjoying their content. Least favorite: Bucklemming really needs to be fired or relegated to only filler episodes.

39:Which actor would you most like to meet in real life? MISHA!

40:If you could be any character on the show, would you want to? If so, whom? If not, why? Nah. I kind of like being me. I’m the only person I know how to be.

41:Do you prefer cake or pie? Both ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

42:What is your opinion on Sastiel? Is it Samstiel or Sastiel because I just don’t know. I prefer it fluffy. For whatever reason I have trouble getting into smutty Samstiel.

43:Have you ever made a Supernatural reference out loud and received strange looks from some of the people surrounding you? Yes...

44:Have you ever cried over a non-OTP ship from the show? I’m not entirely sure what this question means... Like, have I ever cried over characters in the show that I don’t ship? Yeah. It’s Supernatural.

45:What is your favorite moment from any of the gag reels? “When did you forget how to act?” “Season 2?”

46:Superwholock? Please no.

47:What is/was your favorite Sam hair length? I really liked season 10.

48:What’s an unpopular ship you have? Meg/Bela. Don’t ask, I don’t understand it either.

49:What’s your opinion on Wincestiel? I prefer it as more of a love triangle where Sam and Dean are fighting over Cas’s affection than as a throuple.

50:Can you dig Elvis? Fun fact: I never finished that fan fiction. I loved every moment of it, but I got as far as Dean meeting Adam in Vietnam before I chickened out because I knew there was a bunch more pain on the way.

51:Do you listen to Carry On Wayward Son even when you’re not just watching a finale? I used to, but I’ve since been conditioned to feel pain every time that song starts playing.

52:What’s your opinion on Zachariah? Good antagonist.

53:Do you think Adam will ever get out of the cage? (not as Michael) Not at the rate we’re going.

54:Do you think Sam should have completed the trials? Why are there repeat questions?

55:How long would you survive as a hunter? I wouldn’t.

56:What’s your opinion on Calthazar? Foxhole love/friendly former fwb.

57:Do you have a Netflix account? If so, what’s your username and password? Wait a second, just the first part. I do and I’ve basically just been watching Supernatural on it the past month or so.

58:Have you ever participated in GISHWHES? I did the first year (the one with the pigeon rat mascot). It was fun, but it was stressful to the point where I don’t want to do it again.

59:What movies/shows have you watched because of (or by coincidence) Jared, Jensen, or Misha? Jared: House of Wax... kind of. I turned it off as soon as he got murdered because it was just awful. I also tried watching Gilmore Girls, but I dropped it after two episodes because every character in that show is either a terrible person or blah. The Supernatural Anime. Jensen: My Bloody Valentine, Batman Under the Red Hood. The Supernatural Anime (I know he only voiced the last episode, but he was in it so it counts). THAT ONE EPISODE OF WISHBONE AKA MY CHILDHOOD. Misha: the TSA short films, Karla, NCIS

60:If you could change just one thing about the series, what would it be? I’d make Dean better at using his god damn words.

61:If you were at a Con, what would be a question you would ask?(can be any of the actors) UUUUHHHHHHHH...

62:Why did you start watching Supernatural? Saw it all over tumblr. Got curious. It’s all been downhill from there.

63:What’s your opinion on Sam/Crowley? That’s a thing??

64:What’s your biggest fear for season 9? I honestly don’t remember what it was.

65:What’s your favorite (or at least a memorable) pop culture reference that has been made on the show? Them referencing themselves is always pretty great.

66:Just a random confession you have regarding the show/Asker makes up their own question.

[wazafam]

Rodney Dangerfield is one of the most beloved comedians of all time for his sharp one-liners and self-deprecating humor. It wasn't until later in life that he moved towards movies, but that didn't stop him from making some classics in his time even if his acting career was not prolific.

RELATED: Fat Guy In A Little Coat: 10 Funniest Chris Farley Quotes

While Dangerfield rarely stepped too far away from the persona he established in his stand-up, his movies remain memorable and still get big laughs today. Fans can no doubt recall some of the funniest quotes from his movie career delivered in a way only Rodney Dangerfield can pull off.

10 Even In Hell, I Get No Respect

Little Nicky is not regarded as one of Adam Sandler's best comedies, but it does feature a pretty enjoyable cast of funny people. The movie stars Sandler as the kind-hearted son of the devil who must go to Earth in order to bring his demon brothers back to Hell.

Dangerfield has a fun supporting role as Sandler's grandfather, Lucifer. In one scene as the wayward demon brothers are preparing to leave Hell, they push Dangerfield aside. As he lies on the ground, he gets a nice winking line to his most famous catchphrase.

9 I Got A Face-Lift, There Was One Just Like It Underneath

The live-action take on the friendly ghost Casper is a nostalgic hit for some fans and a favorite for the Halloween season. The movie is a fairly fun family-friendly ghost story that is packed with a surprising amount of fun cameos, including one from Dangerfield.

RELATED: 10 Funniest Ben Stiller Movie Quotes, Ranked

In one scene, a character is possessed by ghosts and when he looks in the mirror, his face changes into different recognizable celebrities. Along with appearances as Clint Eastwood and Mel Gibson, Dangerfield pops up to offer one of his trademark zingers at his own expense.

8 Whoa, Did Somebody Step On A Duck?

It's safe to say that out of Dangerfield's entire movie career, Caddyshack is the most beloved. The wild and hilarious golf flick takes a pretty simple premise, a lot of funny actors, and turns it into comedy gold.

Dangerfield steals many scenes as the rich, hard-partying club member, Al. He is meant to be a refreshing alternative to the other stuffy members as seen in this scene during a fancy dinner when Al lets out a noisy fart without shame and loudly jokes about it. No matter your age, fart jokes are always funny.

7 With The Shape I'm In You Could Donate My Body To Science Fiction

Another fantastic movie from Dangerfield's career is Back to School. In it, he plays a rich businessman who enrolls in college to help his struggling son make it through to graduation. The high-concept comedy is basically just an excuse for Dangerfield to do his regular schtick which works so well.

During the climactic diving competition, Dangerfield's character is asked to participate which he is not too keen on. He remarks "you could donate my body to science fiction." It is that kind of clever play on words that helped make him a legend.

6 After They Sacked The Quarterback They Went After His Family

One of the funniest things about Back to School is seeing Dangerfield's older character trying to relate to his younger classmates. This also gives him an excuse to talk about his own young days which is another big part of his comedy routines.

RELATED: Steven Seagal's Funniest Quotes From His Films

When assessing the football team at his new school, Dangerfield feels they don't match up to the toughness of his hometown football team. These kinds of exaggerated ideas are another hallmark of Dangerfield's wonderful humor.

5 Together We Made Mud

The "no respect" style of Dangerfield's stand-up comedy extends to all aspects of his life which makes it such a versatile setup. Another of the big areas Dangerfield likes to focus on is his failed romantic relationships so the fact that his character in Back to School is divorced leaves plenty of opportunity for these kinds of jokes.

When talking to some of the younger college kids, Dangerfield remarks that his relationship with his ex was doomed from the beginning. He explains, "I'm an Earth sign. She's a water sign. Together we made mud."

4 My Dinghy’s Bigger Than Your Whole Boat!

One of the funniest parts of Caddyshack is Al's rivalry with the movie's villain, Judge Smails. Though Al seems to think they are actually friends in his own strange way, the uptight Smails cannot stand Al's obnoxious and vulgar behavior.

During one memorable scene, Smails is christening his new boat as Al comes to say hello in his massive yacht. Not only does Al's massive boat cause Smails's to sink, but Al adds insult to injury by hilariously mocking its size.

3 Yeah, Well You Were The Inspiration For Twin Beds

Easy Money might not be as well known as Caddyshack or Back to School, but it is another fairly entertaining comedy that makes good use of Dangerfield's iconic brand of comedy.

RELATED: Don't Call Me Shirley: 10 Funniest Leslie Nielsen Quotes

The movie finds Dangerfield playing a man who stands to inherit his mother-in-law's fortune if he can change his wild lifestyle. Some of the funniest scenes involve Dangerfield facing off with his disapproving mother-in-law. After she chastises him one too many times, he unleashed this great insult.

2 Hey Baby, You Must’ve Been Something Before Electricity

It is endlessly funny watching Al continuously annoy Smails in Caddyshack. He is either totally unaware of how to agree he is making Smails or he just doesn't care. In either way, Al proves to have no boundaries.

While Smails is dancing with his wife, Al decides to cut in much to Smails's horror. To matters worse, Al openly mocks his wife with the biting line, "you must've been something before electricity."

1 Hey Everybody, We’re All Gonna Get Laid!

Despite Caddyshack having other big-name stars like Chevy Chase and Bill Murray in the cast, it is Dangerfield who gets to deliver the final line of the movie. And it may be one of the funniest and greatest final lines in cinema history.

After winning the climactic golf match and triumphing over Smails, Al turns to the gathered crowd and shouts, "Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid," leading to a massive party in pure '80s movie fashion. It doesn't make any sense but it's hard not to go along with how fun it is.

NEXT: I Have The Higher Ground: 10 Funniest Obi-Wan Kenobi Quotes

10 Funniest Rodney Dangerfield Quotes | ScreenRant from https://ift.tt/3hOjbwe

[atc74]

The House That Built Me

The Reader returns to her childhood home looking for more than memories. What she finds is more than she expected. 

Word Count: 2807

Warnings: Mentions of parents dying, a little flangsty, a little fluff, Dean (always a warning)

A/N: I have been listening to this song by Miranda Lambert over and over for weeks. I finally sat down to write it and I am pretty proud of how it turned out. Thanks once again, always and forever, to @just-another-busy-fangirl, for being my beta, and really whatever I need her to be. And also to @iwantthedean, the world’s bestest cheerleader. I am only the Duchess of Fluff because I learned from the Queen. Love you Boo!

A/O/N: This was written for @wayward-oneshots, Brook’s First Times Challenge and I picked kissing. I am pretty proud of how this turned out. Feedback is appreciated. 

I brought the rental car to a stop on the side of the dirt road, my eyes wandering into the distance. It was just as I remembered it; storm gray with bright white trim. The house my mother always dreamed of still stands after so many years. The new owners have taken good care of her. I could tell by the classic car parked in it’s stone driveway that they cared deeply for things of beauty.

I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, trying to center myself and my thoughts. This is where I need to be, I thought and put the car in drive, taking the right turn and making my way slowly up the drive. I put the car in park and took one more look before I got out, grabbing my case and walked the path through the manicured lawn and well kept landscaping. Reaching the stairs, I crouched down, placing my hands over the small, weathered prints I placed there over twenty-five years ago. I grinned at the memory of a six-year old me allowed to get messy as my tiny hands pressed into the cold, slimy concrete. I stood and continued up the steps to the front door.

I rapped my knuckles three times on the painted wood and glass door. It felt like time stood still as I waited for someone to answer the door. A kind looking woman with long blonde hair opened the door, a bright smile lighting up her face. “Hi, can I help you?”

A breath I didn’t know I was holding slowly left my lungs and I shook my head, “I’m sorry. I-I shouldn’t have come.” I turned to go but felt her warm hand wrap around my fingers.

“Honey, are you okay?” she asked, her eyes and voice full of concern.

“Ma’am, I know you don’t know me from Adam, but these handprints on the front steps are mine,” I said so quietly, I wasn’t sure if she had heard me.

“Sweetie, did you grow up here?” she wondered aloud, her gray blue eyes searching my face.

“Up those stairs, in that little back bedroom, is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar,” I told her, slightly lifting the case in my hand.

“Oh, honey, please come in; it’s starting to get chilly out there,” she gently tugged on my hand still in hers and pulled me inside, leading me to the open kitchen.

“I’m Mary. Why don’t I fix us up some tea and we can talk a bit? Dean will be home soon,” she spoke softly as she busied herself with the kettle and tea.

“Thank you, Mary. I’m Y/N, by the way,” I thanked her as I looked around the room I spent so much time in as a child.

“I love that you kept everything original from the paint colors to the cabinets. It is just as I remember it,” I admired the room as memories flooded my mind. Christmases, birthdays and sleepovers were all held in this family room. I smiled sadly, then brushed the images away with a blink of my eyes and turned around. 

“Oh, Y/N, this isn’t my house; it belongs to my son, Dean. I am just visiting. I recently lost my husband and needed a change of scenery,” Mary replied sadly.

“I am so sorry for your loss, Mary,” I walked closer to her, noticing the wistful look on her face.

“I am sorry for yours, too, Y/N. I don’t know what it is that you lost, but I feel you will find it here,” she theorized as she casually watched you taking in your surroundings.

“I lost myself, Mary and I don’t know how to get her back,” I sniffed but the sound was drowned out by the whistling kettle.

“Drink your tea, dear,” Mary motioned to my cup as she picked up her own.

We sat in an oddly comfortable silence for some time. I could feel Mary’s eyes on me from time to time and knew she was studying me. Normally this would make me uneasy, considering I had known her for all of five minutes, but I found it strangely comforting; she reminded me very much of the mother I had lost not so long ago.

“Mary, do you think your son would mind if I wander a bit? I promise I won’t take anything but a memory.” I stood, bending to pick up my case.

“There is more to Dean than meets the eye, my dear. And take whatever you need,” Mary smiled softly and set about cleaning up.

I smiled in return and strolled through the first floor until I stood at the bottom of the stairs; they looked the same as they did the first time I laid my little eyes on them. They were slightly worn on the edge, but have been kept up well, like everything else I have seen so far. I lifted my booted foot and took the first step, then the next, climbing them slowly. I held on to the banister, still so smooth and solid under my hand.

Reaching the end of my ascent, I started down the hall, pausing outside the bathroom. I could practically see teenage me, primping and priming for some date that didn’t live up to the expectations I had of love, my parents setting the bar quite high. I chuckled and moved on until I reached that little back bedroom; the door was slightly ajar and I pushed it open. The room was empty, save a chair and a tall lamp in the corner. There were some boxes stacked in front of the closet clearly marked “Mom and Dad”. I closed the door before I opened the case, removing the old guitar and a notebook, setting both in my lap as I lowered myself into the lone chair.

I closed my eyes as my hands lovingly traced the strings and worn surface of the wood. I desperately craved the release I sought from the instrument and prayed that it could provide it. I sat, breathing deeply, centering myself. I heard Mary in the kitchen, a rumbling in the driveway; all of this became background noise as I concentrated, the notes beginning to float around me. I closed myself off to the outside world and watched as the notes settled on the lined paper in my mind, words forming under them.

I cradled my old guitar on my lap and started strumming, humming along, not opening my eyes, not wanting to fracture the vision in my mind. The lyrics startling flowing from my parted lips as my calloused fingers plucked note after note.

I opened my eyes to darkness, night having fell outside. I flicked my wrist on the knob, light spilling from the lamp, and picked up my pencil. The words and notes once more flowed onto the paper in my lap. Once it was all down, I picked up the guitar once more and sang it again.

I know they say you can't go home again. I just had to come back one last time. Ma'am I know you don't know me from Adam. But these handprints on the front steps are mine. Up those stairs, in that little back bedroom Is where I did my homework and I learned to play guitar. And I bet you didn't know, under that live oak My favorite dog is buried in the yard. I thought if I could touch this place or feel it This brokenness inside me might start healing. Out here it's like I'm someone else, I thought that maybe I could find myself If I could just come in I swear I'll leave. Won't take nothing but a memory From the house that built me.

I finished the song and placed my notebook and guitar gently back in the velvet chamber, closing and locking the lid. I switched off the light and made my way back downstairs, knowing my way in the dark even after all these years.

“Mary?” I called out as I reached the kitchen, only to be met with silence. I spied my name on a piece of paper on the counter.

I set my case gingerly on the floor and walked through the mudroom to the attached garage. My breath caught in my throat as the garage opened up before me, twice as large as I remember it. A gasp left my lips, catching the attention of the man under the hood of a classic car. He was tall with broad shoulders and bow legs. The flannel he was wearing fit his body perfectly as he turned.

“Hey, you must be the owner of the strange car in my driveway,” the man greeted you, his eyes warm, a smile upon his lips as he neared you.

‘Yes, thank you so much for letting me in your home,” you replied, taking note of the fine layer of scruff and spattering of freckles across his face. You could see a little bit of his mother there.

“I’m Dean, by the way. I heard you upstairs, but didn’t want to intrude,” he introduced himself.

“Wait. You see a strange car in your driveway and hear a strange woman singing in your house and you’re just like ‘whatever’? I could have been some crazy person!” you exclaim.

“Well, I did wonder about the car, but then I heard your voice. I recognized it and then I remembered my mom said you grew up here, so I figured you had a good reason,” Dean shrugged.

“Um, yeah. Mama cut out pictures of houses for years, from 'Better Homes and Garden' magazines. Plans were drawn, and concrete poured, and nail by nail and board by board, Daddy gave life to Mama's dream,” I let out a breathy laugh, realizing that I answered with the very lyrics I had just written in my old room, in this man’s house.

“What’s so funny about that? It seems like a very sweet thing, something my dad would have done for my mom,” Dean looked perplexed.

“No. Sorry. Yes, it was very sweet. Daddy loved Mama a lot. It’s just- I just ah, wrote something while I was upstairs and then I answered you in the lyrics I just wrote,” I confessed.

“I heard a little of that, too. You wanna play it for me?” he raised his eyebrows.

“Probably not; I’m kinda a country girl. You look more rock and roll to me, if I can be honest.” I felt myself blushing as I spoke.

“Well, Y/N, there is more to me than meets the eye,” he winked at me, a devilish grin on his face.

“Yeah, your mom said that, too,” I told him, not catching the widening of his eyes as I continued to speak. “I guess I shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover. That is kinda what got me into this mess in the first place.”

“Oh yeah? You wanna talk about it? Mom always said I am a pretty good listener, too,” he reached into a cooler and pulled out two beers, offering one to me.

“Dean, I’m sorry. You don’t even know me. I basically barged into your house and locked myself away in a room for three hours. I really should be going,” I turned to go, but felt his warm hand wrap around my fingers.

“Sweetheart, you okay?” his voice filled with the same concern I could see in his verdant irises.

“You leave home, you move on and you do the best you can. I got lost in this old world and forgot who I am. I thought if I could touch this place or feel it, this brokenness inside me might start healing. Out here it's like I'm someone else, I thought that maybe I could find myself,” my voice sounded small and I felt the tears trail down my cheeks.

“Did you find her?” Dean inquired softly. I felt an odd comfort as his fingers squeezed mine.

“Not yet, but at least I know where she is,” I admitted. “I think I’ll take that beer now.”

Dean handed me the beer with one hand as his left snuck up and wiped away the tears that had fallen.

“I know a thing or two about being lost, Y/N,” Dean leaned up against the workbench behind him, taking a pull off the beer in his hand.

“I’d like to hear your story, if you’d like to share it, Dean,” I offered.

“I used to race cars; stock cars. I love everything about cars, especially this car. I love how I could, and still can, push her to the limits and she never let me down. This one right there? She is my baby. One night, I was racing my buddy, Benny. We had a stupid ass argument over something even dumber than us and he challenged me to a race,” he paused as he took another swig.

“It should have been a cakewalk, but something went wrong and he died. Faulty brakes, the report said. Anyway, I walked away from the life. Now I rebuild classic cars. Baby here belonged to my old man,” Dean reminisced.

“I am so sorry about the loss of your friend, Dean, and your dad. Your mother mentioned he passed recently,” I placed my hand on his arm.

“She couldn’t have said that, Y/N,” Dean’s eyes glistened in the bright light of the garage.

“She was very sweet while we talked over tea after she let me in the house,” I insisted.

“Y/N, my mom is the one that passed. In this house, in fact; one year ago today. My dad bought this house for her when she got sick, then he died about a year after they moved in. I moved in here to help her, but she didn’t last long after dad was gone. What is it they say about true love?” Dean swiped his own tears away and chugged the rest of his beer. “She was getting better, but her heart couldn’t live without him anymore.”

“Broken heart syndrome,” I marveled, never having heard of a case in real life before.

“Apparently,” Dean scoffed.

“Dean, do you know what this means?” I asked excitedly.

“No, but you are going to tell me aren’t you?” Dean mused.

“Yes! I was drawn here and I just thought it was my childhood calling me home, but I don’t think it was; I think it was your mother. I was meant to be here, Dean. Do you know how impossible this is? My parents built this house with love and my mother died here. Your dad bought this house for your mother out of love and she died here. I was meant to come back here today and not only find myself, but you. Do you believe in fate, Dean?” I pried, hoping I wasn’t out of my mind.

“Kismet? Serendipity? I never used to, but you talked to my dead mother today, so I guess anything is possible.” Dean leaned over, his lips dangerously close to mine and whispered, “Is this against the laws of fate?”

“No, I think this is following the path the Fates have laid out for us,” I whispered back and closed the gap between us. As his lips brushed mine, I was filled with a sense of calm. I opened my eyes to see Dean gazing down at me and out of the corner of one eye, I caught a glimpse of a blonde woman disappear from the front seat of Dean’s car, a smile on her face.

Taglist (currently closed until further notice): @iwantthedean @chelsea072498 @paintrider13-blog @d-s-winchester @just-a-touch-of-sass-and-fandoms​ @just-another-busy-fangirl @winchesterprincessbride @waywardjoy @like-a-bag-of-potatoes @mamaredd123 @ellen-reincarnated1967 @sis-tafics @katymacsupernatural @tankcupcakes  @wonderange @meeshw777  @tmccarney @ruprecht0420 @theoriginalvicki @hexparker @nanie5 @docharleythegeekqueen @megansescape @notnaturalanahi @impalaimagining @mrswhozeewhatsis @blacktithe7 @emoryhemsworth @dracotomanddeansprincess23 @bringmesomepie56 @devilgirlsarah @spnbaby-67 @emilycollins11 @myoutletforfanfiction @deansangelgirl @mizzzpink @jerk-bitch-and-an-angel @kayteonline @rockhoochie @percussiongirl2017 @fanfreak07 @tattooedmomster13 @sandlee44 @moonstar86 @uttertrash--butlikecutetrash  @squirrel-moose-winchester @growningupgeek @charliebradbury1104 @evansrogerskitten @feelmyroarrrr @itseverythingilike @smoothdogsgirl @evyiione @ashstrom87 

Dean/Jensen girls: @akshi8278  @iamabeautifulperson18 @suzannebeaketa @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @deandoesthingstome @spn-dean-and-sam-winchester @boxywrites  @sparklesuperwholock88 @ericaprice2008  @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid  

[je-suis-clarisse]

Capture (Part 4)

1944. A few phone calls had gotten Peggy Carter precisely what she wanted. One Payne Z. Queen on the other end of the other end of the line. "Mr. Queen, my name is Agent Margaret Carter of the SSR. We have a mutual aquaintance, in one Clarisse du Volde," she began. The sound of bombs in the background didn't even phase her. She was used to it, as tired of it as she was. She was busy with Rogers and Captain Phillips, but this was important too. She kept in touch with the nurses whom Clarisse had been working with, telling them that if the vampire turned back up to let her know or if she happened to get any mail--anything of importance. This request was more fruitful; a pile of unopened letters had arrived and was sitting on her desk, each with 'urgent' written on the front. It was clearly from someone on the Front, given the fact that the envelope was slightly beaten up and dirty. Respecting Clarisse's privacy, Peggy didn't open every one, since it was clear they were from the same person. She only opened one and it had begun 'Kitten, I'm worried about you. I haven't heard from you in months. Are you angry with me? You made me promise I'd write you daily, but you've been silent. Were you wounded? Were you sent home? I need to know that you're alright, Clarisse...' She hadn't read further, not wanting to intrude on her privacy, but Peggy had done the research and found this Payne Queen. It had taken some work on her part, but she'd managed to arrange for a phone call when they reached a town for a bit of respite. Granted, judging by the sounds in the background, that was not happening. Payne sounded exhausted and uncertain of the woman on the line, but she wasn't sure how to put him at ease. There really wasn't a way to do so. As she had done with Elijah, Peggy decided to simply be upfront. Honesty went a long way. "I have news for you...though I would prefer to tell you face to face, that seems impossible right now." "Go ahead, Agent," came the reply. "Your ladyfriend has been captured by the Germans. " "Fucking son of a bi--...I'm sorry, ma'am." Peggy proceeded to dismiss the apology as unnecessary, explaining all of what Elijah had been able to garner before discovering that another facility was holding his wayward brother Niklaus. Knowing Payne existed, firstly, put her at ease as she knew that there would be someone to look for Clarisse. Elijah was obviously concerned, but he knew just as well as anyone, that Clarisse was not a weakling and she would survive somehow. The same could be said of his brother, but she supposed blood was thicker than water--Clarisse wasn't actually blood. "Carter, do you know where she is precisely?" "I cannot say that I do. They keep moving to throw us off their trail, the last I heard was somewhere in Berlin, or just outside of it. I must warn you, that there is always the possibility that she--" "You don't have to tell me, ma'am. But since you know her too...then you know she won't give up easily." "I've pulled some strings...and I managed to get you two weeks furlough..." Peggy let her voice trail off, her meaning clear. She'd gotten him two weeks to go find his lady. She didn't tell him that Clarisse had done a bit of spying for the SSR--a nurse could do a great deal when all manner of soldiers came into the hospitals. Simply wished him the best and told him that if he needed her assistance, she would do what she could. 1944. Berlin. Waking up in her cell, Clarisse was disoriented. The day prior, she had been once again subjected to the sun and burning. She had managed to kill two of the guards when she screamed; the high pitch of her scream piercing their eardrums. She didn't regret it. They'd been especially cruel to those in their charge. She had witnessed them putting salt in the wounds of two werewolves who had been subjected to torture. Seeing them hit the floor with blood flowing from their ears and their faces frozen with agony written across their features had provided her with a touch of glee that she'd not felt in weeks. Her body throbbed. She remained on the pallet on the floor, in the corner, hoping that they would leave her alone today. Her eye was bruised and her lip bloodied. The lack of blood made her slower to heal and she was miserable. She didn't even look at herself in the filthy pane of glass that they called a mirror, knowing full well that she looked ghastly. Yet..she wouldn't give in. Lost in her reverie, she thought of Payne; fingers brushing over her locket. She could almost remember his voice if she thought hard enough. And of his touch...what she wouldn't give to feel his arms around her right now! That silly moment at the train platform replayed in her mind, making her smile. If only she knew where he was. She thought of Elijah and Damon, Peggy, and Howard. Friends and family. Yet, there was a touch of bitterness--she had thought Elijah would have come for her. Not a stupid woman, she knew that he probably had gotten distracted and was on the hunt for his siblings. She'd have to get herself out of here. Herself and the others here. She'd allowed herself to listen to the thoughts of those surrounding her and had found there were twenty others. Ten had died. Even when they were torturing her, she refused to tell them anything. They wanted to know how to turn Hitler and how to make an army of vampires to help them turn the tide of war. They'd given him her blood, but with a taste, it did nothing. There was the process of turning someone and none of the other vampires and herself would give up the secret. As to the wolves, they didn't seem to be giving up their secrets either. In hopes of forcing her to talk, they had pulled her toenails out. They had threatened to yank her tongue out. They'd subjected her to some old fashioned torture devices, such as the rack. Her body had been subjected to all manner of torture, to see if she'd break. They underestimated her--Clarisse refused. Despite her desire to break, her agony, she still gave nothing. They'd burned her, using the sun and cackling as she refused to give in. Every bone in her hands had been broken, she was beaten, and were it not out of fear of her teeth and nails, she knew that some of the guards had a few other ideas. They had many horrid methods, and Silas had been subjected to methods of torture that she was truly surprised hadn't killed him. They'd done research on hypothermia on him, which was horrible. He was a wolf--his body temperature was hotter than most, and then they'd put him in freezing water for hours, trying to bring his temperature down. Then they'd put him into exceedingly hot water to bring it back up, to see what they could learn. It was a wonder to Clarisse, that the gentle giant of a wolf was still alive, considering how many times they'd done it to him. One of the favorites used upon them both was hanging them by their hands behind their backs until their shoulders were out of joint. Risse had gotten quite good at popping Silas' shoulders back into place; she had done it on the battlefield before, this wasn't all that different. She had talked him through it and he had done the same for her. She was rather certain that without the other supporting them, they'd die. But her determination to get them out was quite overwhelming. As she lay on her pallet, her eyes closed, she thought of the format of the place. They had moved them around about three weeks ago and she'd committed it to memory. It was one floor, but quite large. There was a section for the laboratory, another for vampires, another for wolves. They'd had witches but realising magical ability was something that they were born with, they stopped collecting them. There were some other rooms that as far as she could tell, were empty or just not used. Two were rooms with bunkbeds within them for the guards and one was a kitchen, where meals were prepared. Not that she cared too much for that. She had begun to give Silas her meals since they were useless for her. What she needed was blood. She was running low on her vials. Dozing off, she woke up when Silas called her name out. Two people were heading in towards them. One was a woman, the other was an officer she had never seen before. Clarisse rolled her eyes before closing them again. The keys in the lock of her cell agitated her and had she the energy, she would have burnt them. What she wanted was blood. But since that wasn't an option--it was going to be sleep. She screeched as the male grabbed her arm and he recoiled, noticing the burns. Pushing the woman forward as he stepped out, he spoke. "Drink, Fraulein. You are going to meet a special guest today." Snorting, Clarisse ignored him but when the scent of blood filled her senses, she felt the prick of her fangs against her bottom lip. She resisted but the young woman cut her own wrist and it was nature that answered. Two slow steps and the woman was in her arms...and a few moments later, she was dead on the floor. Clarisse took a moment to breathe, her body healed and she felt the best she had in ages. The Officer handed her a clean dress and took the body of the young woman, dragging it somewhere as the vampire changed into the fresh dress and did her hair. Looking over at Silas, she winked before stepping out of her cell, following the Officer as he led her down the hallways. It felt strange to be in control of herself. The only thing that looked off about her was that her face still bore the marks of the soldier who had hit her the day prior. Continuing to walk with him, they paused at a door and he knocked, opening it for her and letting her in before joining them for a moment. "Fraulein du Volde, this is Hauptsturmführer Ernst Gottlieb Schwarzkopf." The Officer spoke and Clarisse stood her ground, looking him over. He had a look of irritation on his features as if he wanted to be anywhere but here. The feeling was entirely mutual, she had to say. "You can go, Jakob," Schwarzkopf told the lower-ranking man. Leaving them alone in the room, the male rose and approached her. He was an intimidating figure, standing at least 6'5 and was in excellent shape. His blue eyes were most the piercing that she had ever seen, yet still, she said nothing. His finger traced along her jawline and she could feel her stomach flipflop. It took all of her good sense not to knock him down or slap him as he touched her without consent. His finger went down to her locket and she stepped back before he could touch it again. It was the only thing of hers that she had still and she'd be damned if this Nazi bastard took it from her. "You could end your suffering," he began in German before switching to English and approaching her again. "This would go so much easier for you if you would simply tell us how to change the Führer. Let us give him eternal life. Let history remember you for your contribution to the Third Reich." His face lit up with hope as he looked her over, eyes drinking her in. "Your face could be in history books. On stage. On posters. You'd be revered as a heroine. Is this not something you wish for? Redemption!" He raised her face up, cupping her cheeks and she winced; pulling away. "You don't need my blood for that," Clarisse countered finally. "Your Führer has achieved immortality. Every time his name is spoken, it will taste of the bitterest root and people will remember what a monster and scourge he is." Once again, she felt the sting of being backhanded and she hit the floor. He was the one at a disadvantage now. Having let her feed, Clarisse was at her full strength. Standing up again, her eyes narrowed. "I'm afraid, you'll regret that," she hissed, charging towards him, grabbing his knife as she tackled him. He didn't even notice at first as he drew his pistol, shooting several rounds at her. She hissed as one went through her right shoulder, another through her abdomen, and one embedded itself into her left shoulder. Clarisse growled and hissed, praying her aim was true as she threw the blade at him. She hoped, despite the pain, she would throw hard enough to pierce his heart. "How did you--" He asked, bewildered as the knife hit precisely where she hoped. "I had a good teacher," she responded as he sank to his knees. It took but a second for Clarisse to get behind him and to sink her fangs into his throat. His blood was rich and hot, strong. She supposed there was a perk to the Nazi's obsession with living healthy--it made them taste divine. As his heart began to slow, she punched through his chest, pulling the organ out. It had been years since she had felt a still-beating heart in her grasp. Veins roped around her slender wrist, forming a new bracelet and she tossed it aside carelessly. Taking his knives--he had several--and the keys to the rooms, Clarisse walked out into the hallway. Her escort was standing at the doorway and stared at her horrified. "I'm giving you a choice. You can die like your boss or you can help me," Clarisse spoke in German. The young man paused before nodding. "I need a uniform. And if anyone objects to this takeover--shoot them." She demanded, waiting for him to do her bidding. Once he arrived back, she changed out of the dress into the uniform. She felt physically ill as she put it on, but she wasn't staying another night in this hellhole. Heading for the room where she and Silas had been kept first, Clarisse walked in. The wolf glared at her, his eyes glowing in the dim light. "It's me. We're leaving." She assured him, unlocking his cell and then heading to another room and opening the cells and repeating the motion. Of course, it was never so easy as that. A truckload of soldiers arrived to relieve those within the walls of the compound. Seeing their prisoners escaping was not the way they expected to be greeted. Looking to the wolves, Clarisse met their gazes, nodding. She didn't know what languages they spoke, but she was quite delighted to see them shift into their true forms and to end the lives of their captors. The sound of skin being torn to shreds, of bones being broken and the screams made for a beautiful symphony of horror--and Clarisse for once, welcomed the cacophony.