#is it really theft if the stolen child is enjoying themselves?

[f1shbonez]

"You don't have to keep on checking on me." (@vastayan--vigilante )

Now that Scar was back, life was boring. 

No missions to plan, not even a revenge one!

No weapons to build. No high-stakes life-or-death games. Nothing. 

Everything was sleepy and peaceful and good and it made Jinx feel sick. Tinkering with gadgets and fixing up the gear from the Prigg’s job was boring. She’d fixed a MILLION hoverboards. It got old pretty fast. Besides, what was the point in fixing things when you couldn’t immediately go out and use them or make them do something different and better? 

There was nothing to play with. 

The reception of the Firelights to their old prisoner had taken a visible swerve, too. Nobody seemed to be watching Jinx as closely now, as she milled around unsupervised in the base. It was almost like they trusted her, liked her, even. That was weird. 

Everyone was busy. Or at least, they claimed to be. It would have been one thing if they were busy with activities that were fun, but not today. Maybe they were all just pretending to be boring so she’d leave them alone? That was rude. 

But there was one person who was never busy, at least, not really. He understood what it was like to feel useless too, now. Old Scarface had gone from fearsome deputy to a big, fuzzy kinda pet that lived in the Timeout Tunnel. It was pretty fun, actually, feeding him snacks, watching him throw up, taking him for walks…

Yup. If nothing else, Scar still knew how to have a good time. Plus, visiting him totally counted as helping. Of course, lately, Scar had been doing his best to be boring too. Sure, withdrawal sucked. Ekko sure didn’t like being on the frontlines to his buddy’s suffering. The retching, the need to keep microdosing, the need to insist the doses had to STAY micro, blah blah blah. It was enough to drive a wedge between any Pet Scar and their would-be helper. But not Jinx! Nope. Scar made for even better company when he was broken too. 

The problem was, Scar didn’t always feel like playing. Or talking. Or walking. Or eating. Obviously, he needed a distraction. Something - or someone- that didn’t know what ‘no’ meant. A grin split Jinx’s face as she skipped towards one of the small coloured houses, humming an idle tune as she went. 

Moments later, the heel of her boot collided with the large metal door of the Timeout Tunnel, bursting it open. Just a friendly game of Scaring The Crap Outta Ya, no biggie! That was allowed, wasn’t it? They were friends now, after all. 

“Knock knock!” The play at permission was brandished with a laugh as Jinx stepped into the tunnel, ignoring how dark and gross it was. 

Ahri gurgled from where she was slung under one of Jinx’s arms, a string of drool hung from the baby’s lower lip as electric green eyes mapped the unfamiliar space. A short while ago (on one of her ‘good days’ Jinx had come to the decision that the tiny, toothed creature was actually, quite good. After seeing the baby fire a snot-filled sneeze onto Ekko’s beloved coat (and spending the entirety of the day laughing about it), Ahri had shown that she was definitely worth keeping around. She was kinda cute, in a disgusting, obnoxious kind of way. Sort of like a Scar-shaped doll. It was fun to play with her, to make her snort and giggle. She was so small. It almost felt like the kids' insides were cotton stuffing, rather than blood and guts. 

And now Scar could play with Ahri too. Wasn’t that neat? That would TOTALLY get him up and about. It should at least get him talking, right? ‘Where? How? Why?’ Blah blah blah. It was the same obvious answer- one that she’d used before. I’m borrowing her. Without permission. But that was still borrowing, wasn’t it? It was Zee’s fault, really. People were weirdly bad at staying vigilant in their own homes.

 "You don't have to keep on checking on me."

At the sound of her father’s voice, Ahri let out a shriek of delight before wriggling against the air above Jinx’s hip.

 “What else am I ‘sposed to do?” Jinx replied flippantly, swinging Ahri up into the air (earning a giddy squeal) and catching her with a hand under each chubby arm.

[illumanarchy]

Wait so you follow me, a non-binary person 100% in favor of transgender people receiving the healthcare they need NO STRINGS ATTACHED, yet you recently reblogged really fucked up anti scientific rhetoric that fearmongers against trans people receiving this healthcare?? I am really dumbfounded as to why you follow me if you truly believe trans people are mutilating themselves.

First off, @vulcancode, I follow you because I enjoy specific things that you reblog, and I can separate my appreciation for you as an individual, and for our shared interests, in spite of any areas where we might disagree.

When I abandoned the false left/right paradigm to become an anarchist, I had to accept the reality that truth can be found in bits and pieces from across the political spectrum-- it just generally comes tied up with some distorted ideology that I have to mentally filter out. It's made me much more tolerant of diverse views than the self-proclaimed tolerant left is, in practice.

Since you seem to value science, let's talk about one of the first sciences, logic. To discredit something from a person based on an unrelated thing that person has said or done is a logical fallacy called a Genetic Fallacy (i.e. "That thing person X said can't be true because they once said/did thing Y, which was very bad.") To unfollow you or not reblog something you posted which I appreciate and find true, based on the fact that you do or say things I don't agree with, would make me a shallow, emotionally driven ideologue rather than a logical mature adult.

Another thing I embraced to become an anarchist is to accept people on a live-and-let-live basis, and not try to control how other live, as long as they are consenting adults, as long as they're not damaging or threatening another person's life, liberty, or property, and as long as they are willing to extend to me the same courtesy.

I fully support the right of any adult person of any gender/orientation to enter into a consensual relationship with any other adult person of any gender/orientation. However, I don't believe government has any legitimate right or power to either legalize or ban, nor regulate voluntary adult relationships. Government has no proper role in marriage or any other forms of consensual adult relationship.

I also fully support the right of any adult person to undertake any elective surgery or treatment for themselves under the condition of fully informed consent.

I don't believe in taxation (or as it's known in any other context, extortion and theft) or socialized medicine so I definitely don't agree with trans surgery/hormone treatment being provided "free" (there is no such thing, everything the government has is stolen) but I would feel the same whether it's government handling out "free" trans surgery, or "free" haircuts, or "free" ponies, Vermin Supreme style.

Note that I emphasized consenting adults in context of my support for choices others make, regardless of whether I personally agree with them.

Most of my posts related to trans individuals and medical treatments are concerned with the predatory practices of adults who condone, encourage, or perform irreversible treatments on children who are not fully capable of informed consent. I would feel the same if they were lopping off the child's arm, or ear, let alone their genitals. I feel the same about child circumcision for the same reasons.

Some of my posts related to trans individuals and medical treatments are concerned with the rabid shouting down that de-trans individuals get when they suggest that medical practitioners should be more transparent about drawbacks and side effects of trans surgery. Any medical doctor, to be consistent in their Hippocratic oath to do no harm, should concede that consent must be fully informed in order to be valid. Annd frankly, any "science" that can't stand up to opposing evidence is no science at all. A side note to that is doctors who promote or perform trans surgery to people suffering from mental illnesses instead of treating their mental illness. Just as morally reprehensible as the doctors who don't encourage patients to be fully informed, especially if they do so in the interest of money, ideology, or bending to sociopolitical pressures.

Finally, some of my posts related to trans individuals have pointed out the cold scientific, biological facts that: No matter how you may identify, regardless of what surgical procedure or hormone treatment you may have: If you were born biologically female, every cell in your body will in almost every case have two X chromosomes, and your pelvis will have on average a 120* angle, and a much wider pubic arch and pelvic inlet. If you were born biologically male, every cell in your body will in almost every case have an X and a Y chromosome, and your pelvis will have on average a 90* angle, and a much narrower pubic arch and pelvic inlet. If you died, and a forensic investigator or archeologist were to find your remains, they would answer the question of your gender on those scientific facts.

Can one believe in the possibility of no gender or 72 genders and still adhere to the scientific principles of evolution? It's a cold scientific fact that nature abhors unnecessary complexity when it comes to natural selection. Especially when it comes to reproduction and survival of the species, nature primarily makes sure bets, and it doubles down on things that work consistently. For the human species and the mammalian class in general, natural selection bet on gonochorism, the sexual system where there are only two sexes and each individual organism is either male or female and will remain that way throughout their lives.

Of course, I recognize the difference between sex and the social constructs of gender/gender roles. Frankly, however, natural selection has little to no concern for social constructs. Only those social constructs that facilitate the reproduction and survival of a species in the least complex way will, in fact, win out in the long run. Medically complex and expensive surgeries and hormone therapies that are largely focused on the appearance but not the reproductive functionality of primary and secondary genitalia and other visual gender-presenting features will not, in the long run, be evolutionarily sustainable. These scientific facts will not bend to emotional appeals, logical fallacies, or very accomplished individuals with any level of gender studies degree.

Of course, a person can be free to live in contrary to these facts, and I will not label them as "anti science." The father of the Scientific Method, Francis Bacon, acknowledged that, "Man prefers to believe what he prefers to be true." The discomfort that cognitive dissonance brings is especially hard to overcome when a person has a reason to be invested in the thing they believe to be true. There were a lot of bitter pills that I had to swallow when I abandoned my previous political affiliations and beliefs. In the long run, though, I believe the pursuit of truth and individual liberty will be more valuable than any ideology.

[judyhopps934-mt-zd]

Thoughts on Miraculous Shanghai: The Legend of Lady Dragon

Warning: Spoilers! Other than that, have fun!

Also, if you want to watch the full English Dub, click here!

I love how we saw Fei's backstory as to how she became guardian of the Prodigious and how it was actually stolen because there are people who want money from her adoptive father's studio. It was also sad to see that the values her father implemented into her fade due to the circumstances they found themselves in. I speak for all of us to say that this girl needs a hug.

The intro as always is beautiful! Since it was not the first thing we saw, I was confused when looking through the episodes on YT.

I always enjoy Marinette's monologues, and this one was over how she looked forward to her holiday (it was like a vacation type thing). And how she looked forward to spend time with Adrien since his father was going to let him out. It was all perfect...

...until she went to deliver Uncle Wang's package and found out Adrien left for Shanghai at the last minute. But all is good though because she could go to Shanghai, deliver the gift personally, and see Adrien.

It hurts me to see that the writers made Marinette's purpose to go to Shanghai is to see Adrien when she can do that in Paris! It frustrates me that her character development goes back to square one, even as the protagonist of the show. People might point out this was before season 3, but I have a few points that say otherwise or that the writers are mixing things up. But first, the plot points and thoughts of everything else.

Also, I get that Marinette is 14/15/16 at the time of this episode, but how likely is it to send your child on their own halfway across the world??? On SHORT NOTICE??? I swear Sabine and Tom are too chill with this, but then again, there would be no story.

Also, I love how Ladybug and Chat Noir took the opportunity of their patrols without akumas to bond more. The Ladynoir in this episode I stan!

Gabriel you piece of trash! If you did not plan to spend time with your son, why take him to Shanghai when he was hoping to spend time with you?! And do not say "for business purposes" because even though Adrien is a face in the brand, at least don't give him false hope and that bs!

Nooro, thank you for trying to talk Gabriel out of it, but he is literally a wall (talking to Gabriel=talking to a wall)

I will say, the waiting for 15 years thing is very concerning.

Uncle Wang has been looking forward to see Marinette in person in Shanghai to learn more about her roots. He is ecstatic and its just heartwarming and heartbreaking when you think that part of Marinette's stay will be related to Adrien.

At least we see one thing that makes Marinette's stay not all about Adrien though: she is genuinely interested in her origins! Like when she asks about her family's traditional songs and about her mom, even learning her real name!

Speaking of which, Sabine's name is Xia Ping and only called herself Sabine when she started living in France. Also, I love her photo!

Bastille the bird that was around since forever is an icon!

Also, I can't believe Uncle Wang has not taken a break since Sabine moved to France, like what the hell??? Give this guy a break for goodness sake.

Thank you Gabriel for having one brain cell and allowing your son to leave the hotel! We still hate you for everything else though.

Its cool that Kwamis speak all of the languages. It is also the most logical thing because their wielder could be from anywhere. My question is are they taught the languages, does it form when a concept forms in the universe and they start existing, or like everything else is it magic?

Gorilla is iconic for two reasons: he is still a self care king, and he was willing to give Adrien some space to get action figures.

And now as I wrote that, this is where I am getting confused and start to believe this is post season 3: 1) Gorilla seems less anxious about being in a new place (unlike NY where he stayed in the hotel room the entire time), and 2) His obsession for action figures was shown in Party Crasher (season 3), which makes me wonder if the explanation is during season 3 or this episode hints at season 3. For the first point, it could be because Gabriel was not in NY to his knowledge.

Fei appears again and explains how she views the world and how she also uses that to help and take advantage of others.

She almost steals Adrien's phone and miraculous until Gorilla steps in. It hurts me because she is a good person but had to resort to stealing for a reason that we will explore soon.

Plagg, we always say your stomach causes trouble, but this time, you brought Adrien to Marinette's uncle...

...but also that ironically separated them as Marinette found them just as they climbed into the taxi.

This is also where Fei (wearing a disguise) crosses paths with Marinette and steals her purse. Then she went for the kwagatama and miraculous.

Things get worse for Fei as these boys that took a photo with Adrien earlier started chasing her. Then Marinette started going after them.

That is when she realized she was robbed and understandably, she was more horrified of losing her Miraculous.

Adrien shows up to Uncle Wang's home/restaurant. So many iconic moments happen.

1) Bastille says something about love between Marinette and Adrien. And Adrien responds with the line that makes us want to jump into the TV and talk some sense into him.

2) You say that "she's JuST a fRIenD" yet you stay over with her mom's uncle so you can surprise her lol. Adrien, you kill me and every other Adrienette fan with this contradicting statements.

Speaking of Marinette, she gets lost and has trouble communicating with others because she does not speak Chinese. And at some point says that she regrets not taking lessons?! Uh, what does this imply, that she refused lessons or that she did not have the opportunity for lessons??????? I NEED ANSWERS!

Can we say once again how talented and artistic Marinette is? Bad time? Moving on!

Uncle Wang is unaware of Marinette's tardiness, and Adrien just jokes about it. Considering that she is technically missing (reality is that she's lost), I don't think its time to joke about it.

The lady that gave Marinette some earrings that look like the Miraculous is so nice and bless her soul

The person from the pawn shop is the bad guy that we see at the very end of the NY special! And he knows about what happened to Fei's father! I am grateful that he sees no value in Marinette's stuff so he won't sell it for a lot, but I hate how he's greedy for money and was willing to exploit Fei's hunger for answers and Marinette needing her miraculous for personal gains.

Meanwhile, the boys from the photo with Adrien that chased Fei were trying to get Marinette's attention (they found her kwagatama when Fei dropped it running away and fighting them), but she thought they were gonna attack her. And then she bumps into Fei, who helps her escape.

Marinette finds comfort in Fei for being willing to "help" her (remember that she was gonna bring her to the pawn shop). She also finds Fei as a helpful, kind person who is brave: something that Fei does not see in herself, but does not have the heart to tell Marinette the truth.

Meanwhile, Chat has transformed to find Marinette and its the most endearing thing I've seen! Adrien, you blind oblivious fool! You care about her more than you think!

They arrive in the pawn shop, Tikki escaped the claw machine, and Marinette finds the earrings...for 100000 Yuan.

Fei, understanding what its like to have something entrusted to you be stolen, gets in a spat with the pawn shop owner in Chinese, accusing the owner for greed and accusing Fei for theft, while Marinette just stands her.

Also, when did Marinette become naive???????? I get that she's in another country and they are speaking in a different language that she does not understand, but based on the tone of their voices and shouting, I feel like she should have sensed something was off.

Fei swaps the earrings the lady gave Marinette and took the miraculous back. To the lady, this is why your soul is blessed. So bless your soul!!!

Apparently, Marinette realized what happened and said that Fei stole her earrings and feels bad for the man. Girl, you do not have to feel guilty for the man! He was about to destroy them before he thought about sentimental value! Also, he did not pay Fei anything for them! (Felt that this should be brought up because even though Fei was wrong in stealing her stuff, she was also robbed from potential cash and answers, therefore the man was owed nothing.)

The boys from Adrien's photo are actually vigilantes of Shanghai (and will be referred as such from now on), wanting to bring Fei to justice for stealing, which catches Marinette's attention, but not enough to ask any questions.

Also Marinette is not wanted as a criminal. She is missing as Uncle Wang called the police.

Fei still lives in the school, which has been in ruins. Despite not having much, she still offers Marinette a cup of what I believe is water (or tea?). See peoples, Fei is a good person at heart (if y'all aren't aware of it by now)

Gabriel saw and recognized Marinette. This is horrifying and if it is prior to season 3, we see why he tries so hard to target her. Or reasons why he targets her in season 4 along with everything else we know from "Truth".

Fei should have been given the chance to explain why she stole Marinette's things, but the pawn shop owner was like "you know, I might as well expose Fei myself"...

...and it really broke Marinette, who heavily trusted her. But she can't dwell on it for long...

...because AKUMA COMES FOR THE PAWN SHOP OWNER! AND HIS FAN SHOOTS KNIVES! AND HAS GREEDY MOTIVES! AND HELPED HAWKMOTH GET INTI THE CAVE WITH THE PRODIGIOUS!!!

Also, Nathalie was involved in obtaining the bracelet years ago. Again, the 15 years thing is concerning.

Marinette flees to transform, but not without telling Fei how she broke her trust and how she feels that Feinwas not genuinely helping her. It hurt me so much!

Ladybug transforms, hears Chat's voice-mail (to which she is swooned by the fact her kitty cares for her civilian self), and calls him. The best Ladynoir scene so far!

So the prodigious is like a jewel with powers, there is only one prodigious from what we see, and that one prodigious has multiple renlings that only the wielder can see. Oh, and the bracelet is like a key. Cool.

I don't like how Fei's Lady Dragon outfit looks whitewashed, but at least her hair is red instead of blonde (which still does not make this okay)

Epic Showdown between the akuma, Hawkmoth, Ladybug, and Lady Dragon. Hawkmoth corners Ladybug and Lady Dragon gets caught in some rocks.. All hope seemed lost...

...until Chat shows up and frees the akuma with the help of a basketball.

We learn something new folks: the same butterfly can create a different akuma. This is very frightening because...

The statue that determines who is worthy of the prodigious gets akumatized! The horror!

Also, if the statue says Fei cannot become the dragon because her intention to seek vengeance for her father is not noble and worthy, then what makes Hawkmoth think he will be successful in becoming the dragon??? Because it seems that his intentions are not pure or noble. Just saying.

Hawkmoth notices the akumatized statue heading to the city and all of a sudden remembers about Adrien. Confronting the statue, he gets turned into ashes(?).

CHAT, HAWKMOTH IN ASHES WOULD HAVE BEEN FOR THE BETTER IF THE STATUE DID NOT DESTROY SHANGHAI AND YOU WOULD NOT THINK AS SUCH IF YOU KNEW HE WAS YOUR FATHER! But I am not mad at you, just wanted to point out your irony.

ML WRITERS, WHY DO YOU KEEP KILLING OFF CHAT????? LADYBUG DOES NOT NEED ANY MORE TRAUMA AND THAT WAS COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY!!!! I AM SCREAMING INSIDE!!!!!

Fei is understandably upset and blames herself for what happen. I want to hug her so badly.

Marinette reassures Fei and forgives her, even though Fei felt that she could not be forgiven.

The structure they were standing on collapses and it was Fei as the Dragon who saved her, not Chat. Honestly, I love how it turned out as it strengthens their friendship, but I still prefer a Marichat alternative. WHERE IS THE MARICHAT PEOPLES???

Final showdown!

Poor statue guard was upset about the damage they caused as an akuma, but Miraculous Ladybiug fixes everything.

Fei learned an important lesson: let justice take its course, not enact revenge. But it was quite funny to have the pawn shop owner be flown away to court in a literal sense.

The bracelet has a renling-like creature, who is just so adorable, especially since they missed Fei and was waiting for the day they would be reunited. Aww!

Ladynoir version of the Moon scene from NYC! Except no dancing, just them challenging each other over who will get to Paris first if they traveled in opposite directions. No one shall ever know we were in Shanghai as civilians lol (Reminds me of my best friend when eating grapes during choral rehearsals)

Marinette, Adrien, Fei, and Uncle Wang enjoying a birthday (?) dinner was wholesome.

I love how Uncle Wang calls them boyfriend and girlfriend because of how they act around each other, yet Marinette and Adrien both deny it. Bruh, these children need to open their fricking eyes! I really wanted to jump through my phone screen!

The Shanghai Vigilantes came to return Marinette's kwagatama necklace. They are so precious even though we thought they were enemies in the trailer.

Even though they were at odds at first, love how the Vigilantes blushed when Fei played the accordion and she's just like "whatever". I stan an asexual queen.

Do I even want to know what Marinette accidentally said when she mispronounced "sister" in Chinese? Based on what Fei said, probably not.

Uh...NOW I WANT TO SEE MORE OF ADRIEN TEACHING MARINETTE CHINESE! While I do take some issue of Adrien (a white French boy) teaching Marinette her culture like most of us had issue with in "Kung Food", I also want to see them interact outside of school and hopefully bond. ML writers need to keep their word otherwise Adrienette stans will riot!

Love how the final scene turned out! Its just *chef's kisses*

Also, the hell with the business trip?? It was mentioned once again IN THE ENDCARD! It might not be as interesting, but I want to think that there was more truth to it.

Also, wifi troubles kept interrupting the show at crucial moments, but okay.

Overall, I live for the Shanghai episode! The animation is just as incredible as the NY special (which I also live for) and I love how this episode has a great focus on Fei and the prodigious. I mean, before the intro, she tells her story. And she has her monologues alongside Marinette's. In many ways, it's refreshing. Also, Ladynoir and Adrienette stans will be satiated with the scenes associated with each ship. Also, I love Fei's character development! And the final scene is wholesome!

I won't lie though: there are a few issues regarding whitewashing Fei's transformation and such. It is important to see these things and as a good friend of mine always says: you can enjoy something while also being critical of it. And that is very important no matter how devotive to something you actually are.

Anyways, we are being well fed with all the Miraculous content and I will see you all very soon! Also, get some sleep peoples! I know some of you aren't sleeping!

[that-good-trash]

Smile For Me

Shinsou x reader / Bakugou x reader

Warning: Hurt/comfort, angst, unrequited love, Happy ending!

Word Count: 10k

Summary: Your whole life people told you to smile but nothing good ever happened when you did. Why did you have to have this quirk? After hiding what you could do you should've had a chance at a normal life, right? After a tough childhood you were to afraid to love so you let the love of your life slip through your fingers. Instead of chasing them you fall into the arms of someone who claims to love you but do they really?

Authors note: I know my summary probably sucks but trust me when I say this is a good fic, or at least I liked writing and rereading it. This is once again a total self indulgence fic for my own hurt/comfort simping heart. I hope you enjoy!

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“Smile darling, you’d look so much better with a smile.” You held your jacket closed with one hand while the other gripped onto your duffle bag strap tightly. You should be used to that comment by now, but it never failed to make you uncomfortable when a strange older man said it to you. God how you hated that phrase. Normal women hated that sentence but to you it held a completely different meaning; it was worse. The man’s laugh invaded your ear drum as he moved closer to your right side. You wanted nothing more than to use your quirk but that would mean giving him exactly what he wanted; a smile. You quicken your pace and wished you had taken a route home that was busier. You always went to the gym around this time to avoid crowds of people so of course not many people would be on the streets leading back to your apartment. You hoped that the man would stop following if you ignored him; he didn’t. You thought maybe he just lived or worked the same way; he doesn’t. You begged your heart to stop racing, for your hands to stop sweating, and for your blood to stop rushing. You didn’t want to overreact or panic because then he wins. “Where you goin sweetheart?”

His hand gripped your wrist finally making contact with you. You were panic stricken. The hair on your arms raised and you felt your blood run cold. You attempted to pull yourself free, but it was futile. You felt pathetic even though you knew what you were capable of. You knew how easy it would be for you to get away if you just did what he said; if you just smiled. You couldn’t give in. You yanked once more this time freeing yourself long enough to run a few steps before being caught again.

“Let me go!” His grip was much tighter, and he turned you around. His other hand wrapped around your throat as he slammed you against one of the walls behind you. You were so close to home, just a few blocks. You should have been more cautious but at the same time people shouldn’t be like him. You looked away from him with your eyes focusing down the block waiting for someone to appear so you can call out for help. Pathetic really but it was necessary. His breath was hot against your ear as he moved closer. He took a long whiff of your hair as his fingers pressed onto your throat harder. You chanced a glance at him which was a mistake. He was grinning ear to ear; he was finding pleasure in this. “Come on baby no one is coming to help you. Admit it, you wanted this to happen. Walking around in shorts like that, with your hair messy and sweat sticking to you. How could a guy like me resist? Oh, and the piece de resistance is your frown. A girl like you probably always smiles at the handsome good guys but not for guys like me. Well honey just know that you wouldn’t be in this situation if you just gave me the smile.”

You knew there was only one way out of this which involved going against your own personal rule and giving him what he wanted. You made eye contact with him allowing his sick violating stare to pierce through you. He was sporting a toothy grin. He was challenging you, waiting for you to make the next move. Your wrist was bruising from his grip and the fingers around your twitched slightly to remind you they were there. You waited once more for someone to save you, but no one came. You sighed letting your eyes meet his. He chuckled as your lips twitched upward. You could hear that inner voice of reason begging you to stop but you didn’t. Sometimes things had to be done in order to survive, to protect one’s self. You let the unfamiliar facial expression appear. Your smile was antique. Your teeth shimmered under the streetlight and for a moment you swore the man shed a tear. You were smiling and yet the only thing flowing through you was fear and regret for what would happen. The man holding you slowly felt a sense of euphoria. He felt himself losing all negative and aggressive feelings toward you. Those feelings were fast to change into ones of devotion and obsession. A single tear slid down your cheek and over your smiling lips that quivered. His eyes had glazed over with a foggy sheen and the only thing he cared about was what you wanted. You consumed his ever thought. Your throat felt like it had closed as you tried to speak.

“Let me go.” You had to smile despite the guilt you felt as the man instantly let you go. He would do anything for you if you asked. Hell, he would do anything for you if you didn’t ask. That was what your quirk did. You quickly pushed yourself away from the wall still keeping that false smile on. You wanted nothing more than to run but if you did, he would run after you. He would follow you blindly like a devoted worshipper. You walked toward him smiling while your heart clenched painfully in your chest. “Leave me alone, forever. Never bother me or any girl every again.”

With the command you left. Your wobbling legs leading you down the empty streets. Your gym bag you had been carrying felt heavier as you made your way home. You collapsed to the floor as soon as you crossed over the threshold. Your front door was locked immediately before you sobbed into the carpeting. Your shoulders shook as tiny gasps escaped. You did it again. You used your quirk even though you had promised yourself that you would never use it. Even if that meant living a life without smiling you would remain ‘quirkless’. It wasn’t your fault you had been born with such a manipulative powerful quirk and it wasn’t your fault you had to use it and yet all you could think of was the man holding you painfully while voices from the past whispered words of fear and disgust. You feel asleep curled in on yourself while elsewhere the new broadcasted information on a man who was found dead.

“We are told that the man walked in front of the truck with intentions to kill himself. He died on their way to the hospital. The last words he spoke to the EMT’s on the scene were ‘I did it for her. I did it for her.’.

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When you were a little girl your parents showered you in love. They took you everywhere, bought you anything, and never failed to tell you how much you meant to them. You were a little girl that always had a smile. A big wide childlike smile filled with happiness and wonder. Your giggle could be heard throughout the halls of your childhood home. Your father would chase you straight into your mothers waiting arms. You would giggle and squeal and tell your parent’s that you ‘wuv’d them’. They would tell you how much they loved you and you would tell them they have to love you forever. You told them to never leave you. Your father worked from home and your mother found it hard to leave you to go to work but she always promised you she would be back. If you asked for a toy it would be given to you. If you asked to play someone would play with you. You never questioned anything and neither did they. To anyone and everyone watching they just saw parents who love their child and a child who was loved. However, things changed when other people started paying more attention than your parents would like. You would smile at a store employee and they would follow you around talking about how cute you were. It was creepy. Other kids would surround you and fight over who got to hang out with you. You didn’t understand and just smiled through the strange occurrences never once questioning why they were happening. You were just a little girl with a glistening smile and the whole world seemed to swoon at it. To your parent’s you were quirkless. You hadn’t shown any sign of quirk use, so they just assumed you didn’t have one or that your quirk hadn’t come yet. No matter they still loved you if not loved you more for this. You were a bright child with a wonderful future ahead of you. You were.

“Your daughter bullied my son into giving her his toy. She probably used her quirk or something.” Your parents were baffled when your mother’s sister, your aunt, accused you of theft and bullying. You stood behind them with a quivering lip. You hadn’t stolen anything. You had asked your cousin if you could have his toy and he gave it to you. How could he lie and say you stole it? Your mother was concerned and tried to talk your aunt down while your father explained that you probably hadn’t meant any harm and that you couldn’t have used a quirk because you were quirkless. Your aunt wasn’t having any of it and forced your parents to give back the toy. You had cried but not because they took your toy. No because you felt like you had done something wrong. “It’s okay honey. We know that you didn’t do anything wrong.”

If only that was the last time, but it wasn’t. Soon enough more people and parents came forward with claims of manipulation from you. People saying you had made their child or themselves give you something or do something against their will. People made you out to be puppeteering monster. You were just a little girl confused and scared. Your parents had grown concerned and you had to watch their growing doubts arise. They were wary of you and no parent should be wary of their baby, their little girl.

“We brought in a specialist and it turns out your daughter has always had a quirk.” Your parents brought you in when you turned six to be reevaluated. You had been sat listening to the doctor tell your parents that you had a quirk which was confusing because you didn’t feel like you had one. You didn’t understand how it was possible for you to have a quirk that you weren’t aware of. Your parents were also confused but allowed the doctor to continue speaking. “This is going to be hard to hear but your daughter has been using her quirk on you for most of her life. Her quirk is not flashy or noticeable. It is actually very easy to overlook but has a very strong output. You see your daughters has an emitter type quirk. Usually quirks that fall under this category are those that can be used to manipulate, generate, or control things. There are plenty I can tell you about but for your daughter specifically it would seem to be more like a manipulation kind of quirk. You see what we have found during out assessment is that your daughters quirk activates when she smiles. When your daughter smiles directly at someone that person is put into a hypnotic trance that makes them listen to/only think of her. We tested this theory and had one of our employees approach her and ask her if she needed anything. She asked for water but didn’t smile. When given the water she smiled, and the employee’s eyes had a slight haze to them. They stayed in the room and played with her for around twenty minutes before we extracted them. They have still not stopped thinking about her even after being removed from her sight. This is dangerous because it means your daughters quirk has a lasting effect. I think since you are her parents that you have both been under more control of her quirk without any of you realizing. I explained and asked your daughter questions pertaining to her quirk and she seemed honestly confused so I do not believe that she meant harm or was at all aware that she was using a quirk. I think it would be good to have her monitored once a month to check her quirks acceleration to make sure no new features appear to accompany it and to also make sure she isn’t causing herself any harm. I would think this quirk is a mind control and obsession creating quirk and you both should be aware of the people in her life. This quirk could cause her to be kidnapped or worse. If there is anything you need, I am available on weekdays and my office is always open for phone calls even if I am not here to take them. I will try to help you both understand your daughter unique quirk as she grows older.”

The doctor was a nice man who truly wanted nothing more than to help you and your parents. He wanted you to thrive and for them to help you learn but that meeting created something that he caused unintentionally. Your parents didn’t bring you back like they were told to you. The day you left that office was the last day you truly knew what happiness was. Your parents avoided you as much as they could even going as far as leaving you alone. You remember being left alone often. Your father got a new job that had him out of the house and your mother started picking up more shifts. You were lonely and sad. The daycare where you had been going too no longer took you in. You didn’t know at the time, but your parents took you out of it to prevent you from using your quirk on people. You felt like a prisoner and the fucked-up part was you had no idea why they were doing this to you. One minute you were a loved child with happy parents and then you were an outcast with absent parents. Your mother and father had told you that smiling was taboo. If you felt happy or something was funny you were to cover your mouth or try to keep your lips pursed in a straight line or frown. The once brilliantly smiling girl was now a ghost of her former self. She no longer gave people those gorgeous teeth filled smiles. The ones where your eyes would be sparkling or closed shut while your little teeth were revealed beyond plump pink lips. You were the poster child of happy and loved and now you looked like a poster for abused foster care children. You had no smile left. When you played with kids, they bullied you for frowning and the few times you did smile created issues. People who became your friends would find out that you had a weird quirk and leave you. Your family wanted nothing to do with you. Aunts and uncles refused to have you at events. You wanted nothing more than to go back to before you had a quirk but when you cried and told your parents that they told you that you would have to be unborn then because you were one of the children born with their quirks. You hadn’t meant to hurt or manipulate anyone and yet you were constantly filled with guilt because of this revelation. Your parents were afraid that all the love and happiness they gave you was some kind of spell you cast on them. You wanted them to hold you, chase you, spin you around like they used too. They wouldn’t, not anymore. When you were ten, they announced their pregnancy and for the first time since your quirk diagnosis, they were happy. You cried tears of loneliness because you would truly be left behind. You had also cried tears of relief for them. You cried because your parents were finally happy but what about your happiness. You deserved to be happy too and for a moment you were again. While your mother was pregnant, she stayed home. You were able to see her and for the first time in a long time she would give you attention. You would mask up to cover your mouth and your mother could cuddle you while watching tv. You played games and got to read the baby in her womb stories. When your father would come home you would all be a family. That lasted 9 months. The moment your baby brother was born you meant less than nothing. Anything bad that happened it was blamed on you even if you had nothing to do with it. Your first day of middle school was ruined when your mother took you out of class to yell at you for leaving the front door unlocked because what if one of those psychos that you attracted had gotten in and hurt your brother. You let her yell at you despite how much it hurt. You were not welcome at home and unwelcome in class. Students found out what your quirk was and immediately you were untrustworthy. You were everyone’s scapegoat and the people you thought were your friends turned on you. You were considered a monster despite never using your quirk.

Everyone laughed at you when you applied to UA. You couldn’t be a hero with a quirk like your own and maybe they were right, but you needed to try. You wanted so badly to prove that you could be something. Something other than a villain. So, you busted your ass, got good grades, and tried as hard as you could only for robots to ruin your chances at the hero course. You were placed in the general education department and that sucked but it was still UA. Your parents hadn’t shown much interest in your life and if anything, they thought your dream was unrealistic. You didn’t care what they thought anymore. You brother was the only person who seemed happy for you. The day your moved out and into the dorms your brother hugged your leg with tears in his eyes. You remembered that was the only time you directly smiled at him. You remembered it so well because it was followed by your mother slapping you across the face for it. You left with shame and trauma along with your bags. Your father apologized but he didn’t seem to be hurt that you left. That was the last time you really had contact with them. UA was your home and you made a small group of friends. They liked you and they didn’t care what your quirk was. The day of the sports festival you watched Hitoshi Shinsou use his mind control quirk and almost win. You envied him as the crowds cheered and your classmates congratulated him. You wanted so badly for that to have been you. You wished that you had the courage to use your quirk, but you didn’t. You couldn’t use it in fear of what people would think. Instead you watched him with resentment.

“Your Y/n right?” You had been studying by yourself in the library when a girl from class 1-A approached you. She was smiling which made you sad that you couldn’t smile back. She pointed to the seat across and you nodded allowing her to join you. She sat down introducing herself as Momo Yaoyorozu. You listened to her talk about hero work before she asked you about your classes. You spoke with her before asking her why should have approached you to begin with. “Dang I guess I’ve been caught. You see I kind of like this boy in your class and was hoping you could talk to him for me.”

“Who?” The one thing you had learned while listening from the background was that people always wanted things when they were overly nice. You had known the moment a hero in the making approached you that there was an ulterior motive. Your classmate’s names and faces gathered behind your eyes as you tried to figure out who she was going to mention. You hadn’t expected who she chose. “Hitoshi Shinsou.”

You stared at her pink dusted cheeks and her twiddling hands. She had a nervous and embarrassed demeanor which was strange to see on someone who was usually so organized, calm and collected. You never changed expressions remaining blank. Your eyes searched hers for any hidden feelings beyond passion. Maybe this was a prank, but it wasn’t. This girl was honestly interested in Shinsou. The part of this situation that wrecked you was your own feelings for the purple haired boy. You had resented him; you had been jealous. Yet over time he opened up, and you returned the gesture. He made you feel safe and you boosted his confidence. Over that time, you had fallen for him. He made you feel like a person and he liked you without your quirk. He liked you for you. You could smile behind your hand and it felt nice because he would just tease you about being shy. How could you hand him over to a girl ten times better than you? That was the exact reason you decided to do so. She could smile for him; she could laugh freely and stand in the spotlight. All you knew how to do was stand in the background with your head down. He needed someone who could shine with him and that unfortunately wasn’t you. The smile he hid behind your scarf was noticeable and caused Momo to smile back excited. She thanked you when you nodded before she ran off. You found Shinsou training and for a moment you almost didn’t approach him. You almost left but you couldn’t do that to Kendo. Shinsou smiled at you like you had relieved him of stress. He jogged over to meet you. You gave a partial smile to the ground before looking at him. He tilted his head knowing that you were waiting to say something. You bit your tongue before letting it out. You told him about Momo’s crush and that lead to him staring at you. “What do you think I should do?”

Don’t go.

“You should give her a chance.”

Please don’t go.

“You both might be good for each other.” Shinsou ruffled your hair thanking you for the confidence and the information. He ran off to find Yaoyorozu while you stood there under the swaying trees. You smiled but it was broken. Your lips were curled inward as you sucked them in. You squeezed your eyes closed as a sob broke your sealed smiled. Your shoulders shook as your chest heaved. You would have thrown up if you had eaten earlier. You would have screamed if people wouldn’t hear you. There were so many things you wanted to do but all you did was stand there sobbing with the most ridiculous cracked smile. You had no idea that someone had witnessed the entire interaction between you and Shinsou and the aftermath. That same person would come to be important because they too felt the same way.

“Y/n!” Momo was running toward you. She thought the two of you were friends since she was dating your bff. You thought of her more as an acquaintance that was around more often than you’d like. She was holding a book that she had borrowed from Shinsou and you could tell exactly which one. You smiled remembering when he let you borrow it. You had circled your favorite line because he wanted to know. He never erased it, or at least you hoped you hadn’t. Momo waved her hand in front of you trying hard to get your attention. “Shinsou and I are going to this nice bookstore later and we wanted you to come with.”

Talk about deer in the head lights. You stood there petrified because for the last months you had been avoiding hanging out with them. You couldn’t think of an excuse and your hands were starting to sweat. For the first time in a long time you had contemplated removing the scarf and smiling. Smiling and telling her to leave you alone but you feared the consequences. You feared your own quirk so there was no way you were going to use it.

“She can’t, she’s already got plans.” You jumped when someone’s hand grabbed your shoulder and their voice echoed passed your ears. The person moved themselves, so they were standing right next to you. You glanced at them recognizing them from Momo’s class. You were confused but tried not to let it show. He was giving you an out and you made sure to take it. Momo was staring between the two of you with a curious look before she shrugged. “Okay, I didn’t know you knew each other. If you change your mind Y/n just shoot us a text.”

You watched Momo walk back the direction she came. Her hair bounced behind her and you couldn’t help but notice how amazing her figure was in the outfit she was wearing. Her hair caught the sun’s rays perfectly glimmering off it. She was beyond gorgeous and you were highly aware of how plain you were compared to her. You were caught up watching her that you paid no attention to your ‘savior’. Your eyes widened when he spoke up. “Your beautiful too.”

This statement had your head turning so fast you almost got whiplash. You looked into the harsh red eyes of Katsuki Bakugou. You had recognized him the moment you saw him. He was famous in this school. You hated gossip but you couldn’t go anywhere without him being mentioned. He had his own scars and trauma which to you made him human. Everyone spoke about him like he was an arrogant asshole or a villainous monster. You knew what words could do so as you stared at him you felt the need to repay his compliment. “You are more than just your strength Katsuki. You are a person with a heart good enough to help a person like me. Thank you.”

You never gave him a chance to respond, instead leaving him there shocked by your words. You let Katsuki’s words and kind action fuel your progress. You would continue to work hard and tried really hard to avoid being hurt by Shinsou and Momo’s relationship. It worked out well until you were invited to class 1’s dorm building for a little party. Only class 1 students of course but they made an exception for you and Shinsou. You couldn’t make an excuse and that’s how you had ended up leaning against the furthest wall you could find. A lukewarm drink sat inside the cup in your hand. You would have dumped it but that meant approaching the group. You stayed in the corner until Shinsou dragged you to the group. A large circle had formed on the floor and surrounding furniture. You felt your stomach drop as you laid eyes on the bottle sitting in the middle. You didn’t want to play this game. You couldn’t play this game. These people were strangers. Momo giggled as Shinsou pushed you down next to him. You groaned while everyone else chatted. The first spin was followed by plenty of other spins and kisses. As Sero kissed Kaminari’s cheek you noticed Bakugou. He was staring at the bubbly brunette Uraraka who was chatting with frog girl Asui. He looked, sad? You wondered why but you should have known at that moment he was the same as you. You watched the next couple kiss which had people in an uproar. That same brunette had leaned over and shyly kissed Midoriya. Everyone was watching them, but you were watching Bakugou. He looked like he was in pain but to anyone else he was just himself. He knew that look and it would appear on your face next as the next few spins led to Shinsou and Momo kissing. You watched and begging your body to go numb. It listened but the look was still there and Bakugou was the only one who saw it. However, while you watched them you couldn’t help but notice another person sporting the same look you and Bakugou had perfected. Shoto Todoroki was staring at Momo with his own grieving look. How pitiful you three were. Playing a fool’s game just to watch another person kiss the one we love. You sighed waiting for this to be over so you could leave. Had you known that the bottle was going to land on you than you would have left sooner. It wasn’t just the idea that the bottle landed on you that had you wanting to run away; it was the idea that the bottle was spun by Shinsou. He smiled at you and you couldn’t return the gesture. You weren’t embarrassed you were mortified that you had to kiss you crush in front of his girlfriend when he didn’t even love you. Shinsou moved closer until you could feel his breath against you. However, before his lips could meet yours someone had grabbed your shirt and yanked you over the circle. Your top half hovered over the bottle as the warm lips of Katsuki Bakugou molded with your own. You could feel everyone’s eyes on you including Shinsou who was the only one not smiling. You could hear people cheering and gasping which elicited a middle finger salute from the angry blonde. When Bakugou pulled away from your face he stood up pulling you with him. You couldn’t argue because you were still trying to process the kiss. The game proceeded with Kirishima taking over the next spin. You didn’t know this but Shinsou had watched you be dragged away feeling robbed of such an important kiss. You couldn’t speak, or at least find your words, until you were ‘safely’ in Katsuki’s room.

“What the heck was that?” You didn’t shout the words. They literally came out as a gently question. Bakugou stared at you before scoffing. You watched he sit on the edge of his bed. You couldn’t help but let your eyes wonder slightly taking in his room. It was warm and had little things here and there that you could tell were personal, that were Bakugou. “I kiss you then kidnap you and this is how you react?”

“You did do those things and yes I am not yelling or freaking out, but I do think my reaction is normal. At least normal to me. I just wanted a reason on why you did it. I don’t mean to pry but it seemed like you were watching Uraraka for a while and I don’t want to make assumptions, but I think you like h-” Bakugou’s hand clasped over your mouth and your eyes widened. He didn’t look angry instead his cheeks were slightly pink, and there was a look of melancholy behind his eyes. You would have smiled sadly but you couldn’t. Your scarf and mask remained at your dorm. You couldn’t risk hypnotizing him. Instead you tried to let your eyes show him sympathy. Your hand had gently pulled his away from your mouth. You held it though, his hand in your own. Your fingers brushed his knuckles soothingly. He sighed looking over your calm soft features. He recognized the exhaustion on your face. He knew it quite well himself. He had brought his free hand to your cheek before letting his thumb rub it. You were both trying to sooth the other with such light brushes. You looked into his eyes and wished you could smile. He watched your lips quiver and strain to not curl upward. “You never smile.”

“Your changing the subject.” You were quick to respond when he shifted the attention to you despite your calling him out on his obvious crush. He laughed and for a moment you felt comfortable. This boy was basically a stranger and yet you felt like you could breath. You felt like you could let your guard down. Bakugou had pulled his hand free from you and let his comforting hand fall back to his side before returning to the edge of his bed. You watched him pat the blanket and you shyly took the spot next to him. You both sat in silence. This quiet moment would live in your heart forever because it meant so much to be next to someone and have them not accuse you of manipulation. Bakugou felt similarly but instead of manipulation his was based on you not thinking of him as an aggressive asshole. “What are we going to do about that kiss? People saw it and I know it technically was a game, but you kissed me on someone else’s turn.”

“Who cares what those extras think. Maybe we should just let them believe that we’re dating. Maybe we should date.” You never looked at Bakugou. Instead you caught your reflection in the mirror and your cheeks matched his eyes. Your chest had stopped moving because, without realizing it, you stopped breathing. You knew that this could only end in pain but at the same time maybe your unrequited loves could make you fall in love with each other. You turned and looked at him. He was nervous regardless of how tough he tried to make himself seem. You clasped your hand over his eyes, and he growled in confusion. “What the hell are you doing.”

You had to cover his eyes to prevent him from seeing the huge smile that had appeared across your face. You leaned up to his face and placed a kiss on his nose. When you removed your hand from his eyes, he was looking at you intensely. You could only imagine what was going on behind the sea of red that was his eyes. While you wondered what he was thinking he admired your features. He couldn’t help but notice how your eyes, while sad and tired, still held so much warmth and were luminescent. His own eyes brought a lot of attention but your own were special to him. He loved how the lights in his room reflected creating stars in your irises. Your cheeks were still pink especially now that he was admiring your looks. You were nervous under his stare. He smirked at your nervous demeanor. You were a cute little mouse and he was a lion. His fierce stare and personality clashed against your faltering stare and meek personality. You would have been much different had your childhood continued happily. Now you were this shy secluded girl. Even though Bakugou had accessed you and admired you he could help but think of Uraraka. He knew it wasn’t fair, but he couldn’t help it. He liked her and she didn’t even spare him a glance. Her eyes always set on Midoriya. “Bakugou.”

“So was that nose kiss a yes.” You covered your mouth when a smile forced itself on you. You nodded and he sigh in relief. His hand ruffled your hair before he stood up walking toward the door. You followed him assuming the both of you would be leaving. He smirked and caught your wrist before pulling you against the door. Your back hit it eliciting a gasp from you. The gasp was swallowed up by Bakugou’s lips. This moment was also one that you held onto. This may be the past, but this kiss was what you considered your first and favorite one. Your hands held into his shirt hoping for this to never end. One arm trapped you against the door while the other held into you. His hand held your waist. You wouldn’t have cared if the world ended at that moment and yet he felt different. He wanted to do this a million more times. He wanted to continue to love so your both could grow. You were both under the spell of love, but it was true yet. You were both bandaging the wounds your hearts had created when the people you yearned for chose someone else. No matter how things ended you both promised that day that you would never break the others heart because that kind of pain was unbearable and should never be given if it can be avoided. That was also the day that Shinsou waited for hours for you to return to the door only for Bakugou to walk you back. You were covering it, but he could see the smile you had. Shinsou didn’t understand why he was angry, nor did he understand why his chest felt tight as Bakugou kissed you goodnight and you giggled waving bye from the front steps of the building.

Things changed in your life fairly quickly after Bakugou and you had started dating. You had made friends which seemed impossible for you. People laughed and chatted with you and not once did they judge you for covering your smile. Bakugou wanted you to be apart of his life and introduced you to his squad. They fell for you instantly. Mina loved everything about you. She clung to you and was always there even when you didn’t know you needed her. Kaminari was a little overwhelming and on more than one occasion he got himself burnt for flirting with you or pushing you to smile. Sero and you had gotten close. He would go with you to book and music stores where the two of you would be found by the rest of the squad hours later. You would text him philosophical questions at 2am and he would always respond. The dark circles under your eyes the mornings after always had Bakugou scolding the two of you. Kirishima was Bakugou’s best friend and you loved him for that. He was the best support system for the angry blond, and you thanked him all the time for being there. Kirishima was wholesome and could never do anything wrong. These people were your family basically which meant so much to you since you didn’t have family anymore.

A year into your relationship you told Bakugou about your quirk. He was confused at first and wanted you to demonstrate it but after you started panicking, he apologized and reassured you that you didn’t have to use it. It was the biggest relief to have someone finally understand your quirk and still love you regardless of it. In that same year Shinsou had ‘upgraded’ to the hero course and you saw less of him academically. In your everyday life he was highly present. It was almost weird how often he was around. He was in class A so you saw him whenever you would go over to see your friends and Bakugou. He would talk with you even if Momo was waiting for him. You almost felt like you had done something to manipulate him, so you tried to avoid him. You had no clue, but it broke his heart watching you be happy without him. He came to eventually realize that he loved you. While Momo held onto his arms, when she would smile lovingly, while she spoke words of endearment, he was thinking of you. It was truly cruel and yet he had that in common with someone. Someone who had a year to forget and yet never did. Bakugou loved you, he worshipped you. Hell, he would kill or die for you. So why did he find himself hurting when Uraraka started dating Midoriya. Why did he watch her with eyes filled with unrequited love? He wondered if she was happy. He would see something and think of her. It was cruel because while he watched her, he loved you. While you were the one under him some nights, he couldn’t help but think of Midoriya doing the same thing to her which on more than one occasion pissed him off. He knew it wasn’t fair to you, so he never told you. He never had to tell you. You knew that he still loved her and yet your clung to him anyway. You heart would sometimes clench but never did it break. He never hurt you intentionally and you never told him when you felt hurt. Instead you loved a man who loved a girl but also loved you while another man loved you but pretended to love a girl. Which brings us to her.

It was your third year, so close to graduating. Both you and Bakugou had still been dating and yet you felt like you were only hurting him by not being Uraraka. You knew he loved you, but it was still hard to have to live being compared to her even if he wasn’t doing so out loud. You had contemplated using your quirk, but you couldn’t. That wouldn’t be true love, but you weren’t really sure this was either. You had another friend that you had told your insecurities to. Shoto Todoroki, he had been there the day you and Bakugou got together. You had witnessed the pain in his face as he watched the woman, he loved kiss Shinsou. After that day you had made an effort to befriend him and it was hard but worth it. You and Shoto had so much in common. You both resented a part of you, both had trauma from your past, and you both pined after someone who didn’t love you. It had been like a club. You had even told Shoto about your quirk in which he asked you why you didn’t use it on Shinsou. He hugged you when you cried explaining how you couldn’t do that because it wasn’t real. It was that same fear you had with Bakugou. Shoto understood and dropped it. You watched Shoto try to win Momo’s love, but he seemed to continuously fail. You wanted to help him and that lead to you stalking Momo. This was a mistake. If only you knew what would happen you wouldn’t have gotten involved at all. Momo wasn’t in love with Shinsou like she claimed. She was in love with the same man that desperately loved her. She was in love with Shoto Todoroki. You felt like you had the chance to do right. You knew it wasn’t fair to Shinsou, but you didn’t think of him. You waited and made moves. You dropped hints and made Momo spend more time with Shoto. You felt like cupid and technically you had the arrows. It was just a power that never caused good.

“Y/n, can I please ask your help with something.” Momo stood in front of you with a nervous demeanor. You were afraid that you had been caught but she didn’t seem mad. Instead she seemed, sad? You held her hand and made her look at you. “What do you need Momo?”

“Can you use your quirk on me.” You felt the world stop. It was so abrupt your legs shook as if they were going to collapse. You had never told her about your quirk which made you wonder how she knew. You let her hand go and started to back away which led her to frantically grab your hands. She held onto them like her life depended on it. You were so scared. Tears had flooded your eyes and you so badly wanted to run away. “Please hear me out. I heard your quirk is like mind control. If you tell me to do something, I will do it. I know this sounds selfish and horrible, but I need you to tell me to do something. I haven’t been able to find the courage to do it so please. Please help me.”

“You don’t understand. I can’t do that. I can’t use my quirk. Momo whatever you need it for you can do on your own trust me. I cannot help you.” You had tried desperately to remove her hands from your wrist, but she wouldn’t budge. You stopped trying when she fell to her knees sobbing. This brilliant strong hero was on her knees crying for you to help her. She was begging you through quivering lips. You couldn’t let her feel this much pain. She truly wanted your help and you would give it to her. You pulled her back to her feet before hugging her. She hugged back and you could feel your heaving chest. When you pulled away, she wiped at her eyes. “I don’t love Shinsou. I know that sounds horrible, but I don’t. I did but I haven’t for a while. I actually love.”

“Shoto.” She looked surprised but that faded into a friendly smile and a nod. She didn’t have to ask you how you knew. She had seen you with him quite often and assumed you were watching her. She was always staring at him. Like a certain blond stared at a bubbly brunette. “He loves you.”

“I know. He told me. That why I’m here. I chickened out and ran away. We are about to graduate, and I can’t let him go. Please, just tell me to admit my feelings for him. I don’t really care how you do it. I just want to love him as much as he loves me.” You knew that last part was impossible. You knew that because the one thing you and Shoto had in common was yearning and loving someone regardless. You both loved with no strings attached and would always love while the people around you just hurt you or ignored your feelings. They would be happy and love each other but he would always love her more because he chose her to begin with. You wiped a tear off your cheek before slowly smiling at Momo. She smiled back before her eyes fogged over. She awed at you and smiled with so much love for you. You shook your head holding her cheek. “Momo, you have to do me a favor. You must tell Shoto Todoroki how much you love him. You have to cherish him and love him with all your heart. I want you to be happy and make him happy. Momo Yaoyorozu go to him.”

You watched with a sad smile as Momo ran off to fulfill her duty. You laughed while crying tears of joy and pain. You wished you could have seen the look on Shoto’s face when Momo confessed. You wished you could have heard them tell each other how much they love each other. You wished that you got to see them holding hands as they graduated but you didn’t. At that moment all you saw was Bakugou staring at you. You gasped and your smile was gone in a second. You smiled with your eyes while internally screaming and begging that he hadn’t seen it happen. He walked toward you but there had been something different about how he walked. He wasn’t smiling, he looked frustrated. You opened your mouth to speak but he beat you to it. His hands grabbed your arms painfully eliciting a groan from you. His piercing red eyes searched your own before falling on your lips. “I saw what you did. I saw everything. You can control people. You can make her love him?”

“Katsu please don’t.” You begged but he didn’t listen. You knew where this was leading, and you had no control over what would happen. “Katsuki I don’t want to do this.”

“This whole time you could have made me love you. You could have taken these fucking shitty feelings I have for her and made them go away. One fucking smile and I would have been yours completely and never thought twice about if I loved you and yet you didn’t. WHY THE HELL DIDN’T YOU DO IT.”

“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU! Because you love her, and I just wanted you to love me unconditionally without using a quirk to make it happen.” You were both breathing heavily. Your heart was teetering, and you urged it not to fall. You didn’t know what you would do if it shattered. Bakugou let you go and walked backward. His hands tangled into his hair as he groaned in frustration. He looked at you and you didn’t want him to speak. You mentally begged him to drop it to let it go but you knew the words were sitting on his tongue. “Why couldn’t you make her love me.”

“BECAUSE SHE IS HAPPY WITH HIM AND BECAUSE I LOVE YOU. I loved you.” A smile graced your lips, but it held nothing but sorrow. Tears linger on them and you could taste the salt. You smiled and laughed painfully. Your heart had fallen and your felt every splinter and crack that it received. You coughed as sobs escaped. You heard Bakugou curse before he was on his knees. You hadn’t even realized that you were on the ground screaming into the cement until he was trying to get you up. You just kept laughing like a maniac, but the laughs were actually sobbing, and your smile was one of the worst things Bakugou had ever seen in his life. You pushed him away and screamed for him to leave you alone. He stood up confused on why he was listening and that’s when he realized. Your smile. You smiled sadly at him. “Leave me alone Bakugou.”

“I’m sorry Y/n.” He got the words out before leaving you to sob into the ground. No one was around to listen to your painful cries and even if they were no one could help you now. You had finally lost everything all because of this horrible quirk. You needed to leave and so you did. After that day people looked for you but no one found you. Your teacher told everyone that the school allowed you to test out early and receive your diploma. You had done so and left everything and everyone behind. Your number changed and everyone was left wondering what happened the day you disappeared. Only four people knew what happened that day. Shoto and Momo looked for you for weeks. They even hired someone, but that person never found you. You were a ghost. Bakugou knew what he had done. He cried every night and blamed himself every day. He texted your phone every hour how much he missed you and how much he was sorry, but they never made it to you. The squad begged to know what happened, but they never received the truth. Shinsou had found you, after Momo broke up with him. You were screaming on the floor. He approached you but at some point, he couldn’t get closer. You were smiling and he watched your lips. He heard you screaming for everything to leave you alone. You begged for the pain to stop. It was confusing his body and the commands contradicted each other. You had no clue he stood behind you pleading mentally for the ability to move. To grab you and hold you. He wanted to tell you how much he loved you, but he couldn’t get the words out. Instead he walked away. He left you against his own will. He wished he could have broken through your quirk. He wished he could have saved you, but he couldn’t. No matter how much he wished he knew he couldn’t change anything. When you left Shinsou went to Bakugou and punched him. He beat Bakugou and the blond never fought back. Instead he let Shinsou hit him until blood dripped down his teeth and out of his nose. Bakugou laughed while staring up at Shinsou. He wasn’t being cocky. No, he was hurting physically and mentally but he wanted someone else to be hurting too. “She loved you. That day we played spin the fucking bottle she would have kissed you, but I couldn’t let her destroy herself. Shitty huh since I ended up destroying her, but your no angel man. She loved you and I took her because you didn’t even give her a chance.”

Everything had changed so fast and so terribly but there was some good in there. You had felt what love was when you were with Bakugou. You were able to be Shinsou’s friend. Not just his but a friend to so many. Why had you run away? Why couldn’t you have just made up? Well you did eventually. The first time you saw everyone again was a year after graduating. A little envelope in your hand held the key to reuniting. The event was a wedding. A spectacular wedding for two people who loved each other beyond anyone’s comprehension. They were the true MVPS of love. Two people who never once had to question the others loyalty or passion. They were always in love despite hardships. Ochaco and Izuku Midoriya. The two were meant for each other and you smiled behind the sheer scarf around your neck as you had entered the building, they were having their reception. Everyone recognized you immediately and there were so many tears. You had to keep reminding people that it was the married couple’s day not yours. The Bakusquad would not let you out of their sight and they forced you to give them your current phone number. People were baffled that you were still in the area because no one ever found you. Some people had asked what had happened, but they didn’t pry when you brushed it off. The person you hadn’t expected to see stood in front of you when it was time for dancing. Bakugou stood with his hand held out to you. You never hesitated when taking it. The two of you twirled and spun in silence but there were unspoken words surrounding you both. Words that didn’t need to be said for them to be understood. Eventually the dancing ended for you both and you were found leaning against a marble column with Bakugou sipping champagne next to you. You smiled behind the scarf and giggled. Bakugou raised a brow before looking at you. “What are you laughing about?”

“Somethings never change do they. You’re still watching her as if she raises the moon and the sun into the sky. Katsuki one day you’ll have to let her go.” You didn’t wait for him to respond before leaving him. You found yourself once again twirling from classmate to classmate until you stumbled into someone’s arms. “Careful.”

“Thank you.” You turned to find your eyes lost in lavender ones. Shinsou was smiling at you like he had just won the lottery. You smiled back unintentionally before quickly moving to cover your mouth. He caught your hand and held in gently in his. You were frozen as he asked you to dance. You nodded and he led. With Bakugou you watched everyone dance around you but with Shinsou you felt like only you two existed. His eyes never left your own and his smile never faltered. When the music changed, you both were brought back into the real world. Your flushed cheeks gave away your embarrassment. He was still able to make you flustered even after so long apart. Somehow the two of you spent the rest of the wedding together just in each other company. Not many words were said until it was time to go. Everyone wished the married couple the best before departing. You stepped out into the cold to hail a cab but never got a chance. A jacket was draped over your shoulders and it smelled like pine and cloves. It smelled of Shinsou. He stood behind you with that same smile. “Let me take you home.”

“Shinsou.” His name left your lips before his own pressed against them. It happened so fast that you felt like were going to faint. His arms encircled your waist and he held you against him. He pulled away and looked at you. He searched your face for any sign that you felt the same way but all he got was tears and a quivering lip. You tried to pull away, but he held you in your place. Some classmates asked if you were okay in which you waved them away. Shinsou watched your lips move. You were holding back a smile. He leaned forward and kissed you again which was returned with a slap to the face. He hissed and his hand held the swelling cheek. You turned to run off, but he caught your wrist. “I know I don’t deserve to say this, but F/n L/n I love you. I should have told you back at UA, but I didn’t realize until it was to late. I have held onto these feelings in the hopes of one day getting to tell you. I love you and I will always love you. Please smile for me Y/n.”

He knew that you were holding back. You were crying and wanted so badly to smile and let him hold you. You wanted to let yourself be loved but you were afraid of getting hurt. You were afraid and yet as he looked at you, you felt a love that even Bakugou couldn’t give you. He meant ever word. You believed him but that didn’t mean you would smile. Not for him or anyone. You shook your head biting your bottom lip. Shinsou was quick to pull you back into his arms. He held your face against your chest not caring if your tears soaked his shirt. He didn’t care about anything other than you. “I can’t smile for you Shinsou. I can’t risk what it might do, what you might do for me.”

“Smile Y/n. Smile and never stop smiling for me. You don’t have to hid when you are with me. I love you more than your quirk could ever make me. No quirk is going to make me love you more than I already do. You can smile and I will still be the same Shinsou. I promise you. I will never question if I love you or if it’s your quirk because I already know its me. It’s my own love that I have had for you even before I knew what your quirk was. I love you and I always will.” You pulled yourself free and looked into Shinsou’s own wet eyes. You could barely make out his teary eyes and pure smile through your own tears. Shinsou was able to break through the wall you had put up to protect yourself and others. You smiled at him. You smiled like that little girl had when her parents held her and told her they loved her. You smiled with gleaming teeth and red plump lips. You smiled despite the tear stains on your cheeks. Shinsou smiled back and kissed you over and over. “I love you Hitoshi Shinsou.”

------------------------------------------------------

When you woke up the floor was no longer underneath you. A large comforter was over your body and the plush mattress you shared with your boyfriend was under you. You had been put in bed at some point in the night which meant Shinsou was home. You pulled the blanket over yourself before walking to the living room. Shinsou was sitting on the couch reading a book while drinking coffee. You smiled and walked toward him. He smiled back and opened his arms. You climbed into his lap snuggling your head against his chest. “Had a rough night kitten?”

“Bad guy tried to hurt me, took care of it.” You were still half asleep when speaking. You left out the gritty details and the part where you came home and cried yourself to sleep. He kissed your eye lids which meant he already knew. He clicked on his phone and read a news article about the man’s suicide. Before you could panic, he rubbed your back soothingly. “You’re a hero, that man was a serial rapist that the police hadn’t been able to catch. You saved a lot of girls and helped avenge a lot too. You did what was necessary so don’t punish yourself; that’s my job.” He winked at the end which had you rolling you eyes. You got off his lap pulling him up so you could drag him to bed. You had his praise linger in your ears. A hero, what a nice change. You smiled before stumbling slightly causing Shinsou to laugh before catching you. He swept you into his arms eliciting more giggling from you. “Come on tired kitten, we gotta get some rest for the big wedding tomorrow. You are the guest of honor.”

On the kitchen counter sat a wedding invitation personalized for you. On it was a beautiful story about a fairy godmother who helped bring a princess and prince together. The story was about you bringing together the bride and groom, Momo and Shoto. They made sure every invite mentioned your tying their red strings of fate. You thought it was over the top and outlandish, but you also cried and felt so happy for them when you received the invite. Shinsou had held you as you sobbed because you felt like you had used you quirk for good.

“You’ll have to send them a sappy invite to our wedding.” You laughed before freezing in his arms. You quickly looked at his face as he sat you down on the bed. He chuckled at your wide-eyed stare. He got down on one knee before pulling out a little black box. He looked into your eyes and smiled as he spoke. “Will you marry me F/n L/n?”

“Yes Shinsou, Yes, a million times yes.” You cried as you nodded aggressively. You ignored the ring as you launched yourself into his arms. Shinsou kissed you before laughing. “You didn’t just say yes because of my smile did you.”

“Shut up.” You kissed him after rolling your eyes at his joke. The most important thing was your smile, the one that never faltered for a moment.

[lunaleetarot]

Gemini 2021 Year Ahead Birthday Spread

Starting from the top clockwise, theme in the middle.

May 2021- Queen of Wands

This month you may be surrounding yourself with a friendly individual who loves animals. This person may be you- or your mother or a mother figure or your romantic partner. Sometimes it just means you need to take on the traits of the Queen herself. Good or bad this may be a person who has a significant say in your current situation. I feel for some of you this may be a mother in law. This person will be more relevant in your life this month. The Queen is ambitious, she wants to climb the career ladder or do other great things. Usually this individual finds themselves playing the role of the leader for having the ability to take charge. This person takes pride in being a good friend and ally. They will consider how their decisions affect others before making any moves, making sure everyone involved is being treated fairly. Enjoy time in nature as much as you can this month. If possible, go to the zoo or take a nature hike. Keeping fit and taking care of your health will be important to you. There may be a demanding and domineering woman standing between you and what you want. Watch out for controlling and oppressive behavior. If you find yourself micromanaging everyone around you- check yourself. You may be dealing with someone born on the Pisces-Aries cusp (March 19-24th).

2. June 2021- Ten of Swords

Disaster may be coming to your doorstep this June. This is not a welcoming card, as it usually indicates destruction. I feel this has been brewing for weeks and it’s finally coming to a head with the Queen of Wands above. All may be lost here Gemini. Drama, conflict will reach their next stage or conclusion. Your relationship may end in the most terrible or cruel way. Something may happen that will strip you of your confidence. This card and abusive relationships can go hand in hand. Business, career and fiance many make a turn for the worst. Once the dust settles you can start anew, but I feel for this month you're still going to be in the thick of it. You may be in ill health. Take care of yourself from physical and emotional pain. At the very least I feel some type of betrayal is going to occur and you won’t be able to resolve the issue. This is your card Gemini, this is going to affect you directly.

3. July 2021- Seven of Wands

As we move into sweltering July, you're going to face the challenges from last month head on. You're ready to preserve and defend yourself. It could possibly result in a fight for you. The person who betrayed you last month is going to make a hassle for you, and it may become a severe problem in your life. You do not see eye to eye with this person, but I feel this is someone who you were once very close to. This person does not respect you or your way of doing things. For some of you, this could be a co-worker out to steal the spotlight from you in the office. Although this is frustrating, you have the long term advantage here. They covet what you have, but you earned it with your merit, talent and personality. Because of this, even if you have to fight, you will remain on top. You may be dealing with a Leo here.

4. August 2021- The High Priestess

All the conflict from last month has really helped you to trust your intuition. However this may be a time where you need to brace the unknown, Gemini. Your insights will be so spot on, it will almost feel like your psychic. You may have strong suspicions. You may suspect your partner is being unfaithful to you. It will be revealed to you. Something in your life isn’t quite right, and you’ll feel it Gem. A lover or a business partner may be keeping a secret from you. You will sense the dishonesty, even if you're not completely sure what it is. The secret will be revealed to you this month.

5. September 2021- Ten of Wands

You learned a harsh truth last month, and it’s leaving you physically shattered this September. The truth was revealed to you, but it left you wounded. Now you're facing many burdens. This is a card of hard work, and there is a lot of work left to be done for you Gemini. You’re going to have to put in a lot more effort than you have been previously. Now is the time to decide if you want to buckle down and complete the challenge or throw in the towel. This card isn’t telling you what to do, it’s only telling you that things are about to get more difficult. You will have a lot on your plate this month. You're most likely juggling work, family and other responsibilities. You go to bed at night thinking about all the work that is facing you the next day. You will be very overwhelmed. You're going to need to take care of yourself, especially since stress related illness is likely to crop up at this time. This card is often drawn for new parents who are spending sleepless nights and drained from responsibility. It could also mean you're working hard trying to get a business off the ground. You keep pushing and pushing but there’s no end in sight. If you keep grinding there is a cozy environment in your future. If you stay committed you will see the fruits of your labor. Keep pushing towards the life you want. You may be dealing with a Sagittarius.

6. October 2021- Five of Swords

As we move into Autumn, you will face defeat. You will lose something through a fault of your own or for some something may be stolen from you. Regardless you will experience misfortune in your conflicts. This is a theft card so make sure you have proper insurance, make sure you're careful with what you brag about within the home. An enemy is going to outsmart you. You may experience loss of reputation, position or your entire career altogether. This could come from friends instead of co-workers for some. A lover being stolen from you is also a possibility. It won’t be fair, but it won’t matter very much. You may be dealing with an Aquarius here.

7. November 2021- Five of Cups

After your fall from grace in the spooky month of October, you're facing setbacks in November. You're dealing with a lot of disappointment and negative thoughts. This will be a period of great sadness for you. Instead of feeling thankful this month, you will find yourself in a negative place. At this time you will be confused about what your next move should be, and possibly indulging in self-pity. This card often makes an appearance during a break-up or divorce. Although this is difficult now, there is someone out there who is better suited for you, Gemini. Your life is by no means over. If you're battling depression, get help. You don’t have to battle these feelings alone. You may experience this fall out over a strained friendship or family relationship. All is not lost, a second chance is within your grasp. However, you're going to have to try. You may be dealing with a Scorpio here.

8. December 2021- Ace of Wands

As we move into the holiday season, you're ready to start over and begin creating a new life for yourself. This month you’re creating something that will have an impact. This could be a life changing event like a new child or a new job- but for most it will probably just be a new hobby. You will be excited about new opportunities that present themselves. You may be starting a new relationship that is filled with spark and fire. If you find yourself pregnant- this card can indicate it will be a male child. This could be you or someone you're close to. Be mindful not to get so caught up in the excitement that once it isn’t fun anymore you stop putting in effort. You don’t want something promising to never get past the first stages because of this. However, I will say this is the first promising month I see for you. I feel like the holiday season will be when Gemini gets their groove back.

9. January 2022- Four of Cups

Coming into the new year, you may find the spark you had last month is now fizzling out. Perhaps reality stepped in or a new lover has decided to leave you this month. If this is the case for you, it’s likely they got bored of the relationship. If it isn’t, you will be the one feeling the boredom. You feel unhappy and discontent in your current circumstances this month. The excitement from December has fizzled out. You won’t be happy until you do something to change it. You may be procrastinating at work or your boredom could be leading you to an affair. You may feel like you're suffering from some sort of mid-life crisis (or something that closely resembles one) You covet what other people have, wishing your own life was better. You may be chasing something that just isn’t meant for you. Use your jealousy of others for good and work on the areas of your life you're upset about. Work hard and strike for the things you see others have that you want. Keep in mind, the grass may not be greener on the other side. Count your blessings and be grateful for what you have. You may be dealing with a Cancer this month.

10. February 2022- Six of Swords

You find yourself feeling apathetic this month. You're just not interested in the drama that’s been going on all year. You're ready to forgive and move on. This can result in moving towards or away from conflict- that’s up to you. This card is all about movement. You may be physically moving residence or leaving your hometown. You may be close to the water when you travel on a boat or make a plane trip. You're moving towards a certain goal or outcome. Keep the faith, you're making progress even if you don’t feel like it. Something could be progressing in a way you didn’t want to expect. Once you get what you want, you see the grass isn’t greener on the other side. I feel this could be you achieving a goal you set out last month and realizing it doesn’t really suit you. Keep your options open for now.

11. March 2022- The Magician

With the energy of moving on, you're setting your sights on your own talents, possibly sales. You will have a lot of willpower this month. A nice change for you as winter becomes spring. You’re setting goals and seeing them through. Nothing will stop you, Gemini! Taking action at this time will attract the opportunities you crave. Be careful, for some of you a con man may be coming into your life (or trying to come back into it). One thing is for sure, you will be starting something new. A new business, job or hobby is in store for you.

12. April 2022- Six of Wands

The talents you displayed last month will lead you with victory and new found popularity this month. Success is finally coming to you! You will receive recognition for your hard work. Soon you will be able to sit back and bask in the glow. It’s been a hard year, you deserve it. There is a possibility that you will be looked up to as an authority. You may become a sort of celebrity in your field or interest. Your social media following will likely increase at this time. You will also be rewarded financially. A well deserved ego boost may also be in order. For some this may mean your letting your stubbornness get in the way of your happiness. You can’t admit when you're wrong or deny that others may know more than you. This arrogance may turn people off. You may be dealing with a Leo at this time.

13. Theme of the Year- Page of Cups

This will be an emotional year for you, unfortunately a year of emotional immaturity. For the next 365 days you may be feeling sensitive and a bit soft. You desire love, care and affection- but you're going about getting it in all the wrong ways. This gentleness may be coming from a good place, but you appear overly sensitive and annoy others. You will come off childish, moody and downright silly. In other words, you need to act your age, Gemini. I feel you will spend much of this year day-dreaming. Be mindful not to lose time because you have your head in the clouds. A certain stage of your life is coming to a natural end so a new stage can begin. You will notice this especially in June and September. This will be a painful experience for you, but it’s all for the best. I feel this could mean the end of a relationship so a new one can begin. Big events will occur in August and March. In October and November you will feel as though you’ve been defeated. February and April a special relationship may begin to bloom. It will start off slow but could lead to something amazing.

[fallenfurther]

The popcorn thief

While discussing how John could lurk and spy on his family using all the tech in the living room, the idea of him instigating a popcorn heist from Thunderbird 5 came to me. It was just too much not to write, because I’ve not written John in a while and I can so see him messing with his brothers from up high. Enjoy!

**********

John floated in front of the projection as MAX raced down the corridor with Scott’s popcorn. It had been a slow two weeks in regard to rescues, with only two major and a few minor call outs. Maintenance had been caught up on, as well as sleep, and some of his brothers were now struggling to keep themselves entertained. Gordon was the brother John was keeping his eye on. With Lady Penelope busy in England and having already pulled a few jokes on Alan, it was only a matter of time before he set up a large prank. Thunderbird Five was up to date on every major upgrade and EOS was happily fielding calls to enforce the Grandma mandated relaxation time. He was due to head down to the island that day, but with Gordon prowling, it was about time John got his brother back for the last prank that had been played on him.

John had gotten MAX to wait around the corner next to Gordon’s secret access elevator while Scott had made the popcorn for the movie. Watching his big brother secretly through the camera in the lounge, John waited until the popcorn was on the table and Scott had left to round up the family. He then sent MAX the ‘GO’ signal. The robot had darted out and grabbed the popcorn, before heading back the way he’d come towards the elevator. John observed the theft simultaneously through the living room camera and MAX’s built in one. MAX had even, rather gleefully for a robot, scattered some popcorn under the fish tank as he passed by. The stolen popcorn was then placed in the specially designed box John had strapped into the space elevator. He activated the recall mechanism and smiled in anticipation. Taking a breath, John straightened out his features into his usual calm demeanour and tapped into the communication link between Five and the Island, thus projecting his form into the room. Projected before him was the images of Virgil and Gordon collapsing onto the sofas.

“Not coming down to join us?” Queried Virgil, with a raised eyebrow.

“Grandma won’t be happy.” Gordon jeered, eyes sparkling at the thought of witnessing a battle of wills between John and Grandma.

“I have a few more things I need to finish up here first.”

Technically it wasn’t a lie, but all the things left on his list were non-urgent or research related tasks that could be put off until next week. Not that John let any of that show in his face. He was a master communicator and could withhold information in a heartbeat if he didn’t deem it necessary for the task ahead. The sound of feet announced the arrival of Alan as he raced into the room, only to stop abruptly with a confused look.

“Where’s the popcorn?”

“What popcorn?”

“The popcorn Scott just made. He told me to get in here fast before you two ate it all.”

Virgil and Alan both turned to Gordon, whose face showed mild shock until he smiled.

“Seriously guys, you think I’d mess with Scott’s popcorn after what happened with Virgil? Scott was a right misery guts after that, and Virgil only stole it because he thought he could get away with it.”

“I managed to placate him. Though I had hoped he would blame it on you. It would have been left unattended on the island for a whole rescue and it was pretty much guaranteed to be eaten in that time.”

“Well, we’d better find it before he comes back. He’s just helping Grandma finish the laundry, so she can join us.”

Alan’s voice held concern as John watched his brothers split up at light speed to search for the missing popcorn. He popped up the map showing the little moving dots of everyone on the island. EOS had labelled each heat signature with the persons favourite colour after verifying the individual each signature belonged to using cameras and deduction. The frantic footfall echoed around the comm sphere as his brothers searched the lounge and beyond. Virgil headed down to the kitchen while Alan headed around the corner, as the blue and purple dots of Scott and Grandma started their approach to the lounge. John smiled internally.

“There’s popcorn near your fish tank, Gordon!”

Alan was still within range of the highly sensitive microphones in the living room, as the yellow dot started toward the youngest Tracy.

“Someone must be trying to frame me.”

The aquanaut responded as the green dot left the kitchen and joined the red and yellow one at the scene of the crime. To the right of the map, John could see the blue and purple dots reaching the living room.

“Gordon, if you don’t own up, you’re going to be in trouble, and Scott will make sure you don’t have any celery crunch bars in Thunderbird Four for the next month.”

“It wasn’t me this time.”

“What wasn’t you, this time?”

It was Grandma stern voice from the empty lounge that echoed down the corridor as she headed over the Tracy huddle. She had ears like a hawk, and Scott was right on her heals. It didn’t take long for them to put two and two together. John was certain they were standing in front at least one worried looking Tracy.

“Where’s the popcorn Gordon?”

“I don’t know.”

“You had better go fetch it, that was the last of the kernels.”

Scott voice was level but stern. John knew it wasn’t that last kernels as he’d gotten MAX to hide the rest. Grandma would also know this, having done the weekly inventory two days ago.

“I don’t know where the popcorn is.”

With that, the yellow dot scarpered.

“You better be fetching my popcorn!”

Gordon was far enough away now that John couldn’t hear his response, but whatever it was made Scott give chase. Knowing no one was watching him, John finally let himself smile as the game of Cat and Mouse started. It was very much like the old cartoon Grandma made them watch as kids, which Gordon had loved replicating as a child. The rest of the dots headed back to the living room, and all but Grandma sat down on the couches.

“You were meant to be coming down, young man.”

“I’ve got a few more things to do up here. I might be able to come down tomorrow.”

“I’ve heard that before John Glenn Tracy. If you’re not down by the end of the week, I’m sending Scott up.”

“FAB Grandma. I’ll be down when this has blown over.”

The matriarch studied him with a frown and John kept his cool, though he knew the game was up. She knew, he could see it in her eyes.

“Right then, Virgil you get the film ready. Alan bring the portable holoprojector across from the desk, if John won’t be here physically, he can float beside us, and John, make the missing kernels appear so Scott can have his popcorn. I’ll go get your brothers.”

John shut down the visual feed and sent the message to MAX to put the kernels back and thanking the robot for his help. Propelling himself away from the projections, John headed to the elevator and retrieve the box of popcorn. It had a special rubber opening in the top which allowed him to access the popcorn while still keeping it mostly contained. He carried it back to the comms sphere where EOS had linked the lounge projector up to Thunderbird Five, so it now displayed the start menu for Virgil’s choice of film. The little green box popped up at the bottom, indicating that John was now being projected somewhere. Tapping the icon, brought up the camera feed alongside the film screen, clearly displaying the relaxing holograms of his family. Their voices once again filled the air around him.

“I can’t believe you did that, John,” Alan’s voice full of surprise, “Scott’s going to drag you down later.”

John just smiled knowingly at his younger brother, as Scott, Grandma and Gordon entered the room. Reaching into his box, John grabbed a handful of popcorn and started popping pieces into his mouth. Grandma was standing between Gordon and Scott, obviously not impressed by their behaviour. John just hovered waiting for their eyes to fall on him, enjoying the mix of sweet and salt that Scott always made. Anger flicked across the man’s face before he spoke in a steady voice.

“So, you really did steal my popcorn.”

“I was in the mood for popcorn.”

“You could have just come down.”

“And share it with all of you? Also, you’ve forgotten to ask if I wanted some the past three movie nights.”

Scott winced slightly at the accusation, knowing full well that it was correct. John knew his brother never meant to forget him.

“Sorry John, I’ll remember next time.”

“Apology accepted.”

Grandma patted Scott on the back and guided him towards the kitchen.

“Now go make some more, the missing kernels should be back where they belong.”

Scott turned to glare at John’s hologram, before heading down the stairs.

“Now John, aren’t you going to apologise for framing Gordon?”

“No point.” Gordon butted in, “He was just getting me back for the bagel swap I did on him last time he was down.”

John nodded while Grandma sighed.

“You’re all meant to be responsible adults.”

She muttered under her breath as she took the seat next to Virgil. Gordon was grinning from ear to ear as he put his feet up on the table. John continued to eat his prize as Grandma berated Gordon about his manners. Scott returned with a bowl full of fresh popcorn, which he placed on the table before taking a handful. Multiple other hands reached forward and dived in after him. Scott smirked as he glanced at John’s hologram.

“Are you keeping that piece in your hair for later?”

John reached up and sighed as his fingers found the runaway kernel.

“Do you need me to increase the flow through the extraction unit, John? It would be problematic if food got in any of Thunderbird Five’s circuitry.”

Laughter from the island filled the space at EOS’s helpful comment, the image of the AI projecting above the feed of his family.

“No, EOS. That won’t be necessary.”

[griftercricket]

Information on Kaz can be found under the cut! 

Biography

Roya Kazemi

Roya was born on the road. Both of her parents were professional scammers, spending their lives travelling. They made their own rules, living outside of the law and never remaining in one place long enough to get caught. Their specialty was small towns, the kind of places the Emperor and those who serve him cared so little for that they didn’t even bother investigating their crimes. Their only child, Roya, was born on the backseat of their car, pulled over on the side of the road. They were back on their way within the hour, heading towards their next target. 

For as long as she can remember, Roya has been adored. Her parents showered her with praise, constantly telling her how pretty she was, how clever she was, and granted her every request. Despite spending most of her childhood on the road, she never wanted for anything, and knew everything she owned was stolen. Her parents passed their trade on to her, positioning it like a game, and the thrill of taking what was not hers is a feeling as familiar as an old friend to Roya. 

As she grew under her parents tutelage, Roya grew greedy and entitled. She believed that if she could get away with taking something, she deserved to have it. However, petty theft and small-scale operations ceased to satisfy her like they used to. By the time she was in her late teens, newly an adult and unfamiliar with any other life but the one her family had shown her, she was already looking to something bigger and better. The only trouble was, building something bigger was hard to do when you had to start from scratch every few weeks. Just before her twentieth birthday, Roya bid goodbye to her parents, and set off for the first time on her own.

Mystic Roya

Her first few months in the city weren’t easy. She had never even seen an attempt at putting roots down, and had no clue how to do it for herself. That changed when her mark appeared. Every resourceful, Roya had always had a lucky streak. With her mark, her life-long bout of good fortune made all the more sense. Suddenly, the path ahead was clear. 

It was the biggest con of her life, setting up as “genuine” psychic. She assumed there would be a learning curve, a certain art to reading people that she would learn over time. For the most part, people were far less complicated than they liked to believe themselves to be. All it took was a few vague statements from Roya, blanket “predicitions” that could have applied to anybody. It wouldn’t have been enough on it’s own, but when combined with her talismans, created with her powers and sold to desperate believers, it was hard to deny the power of Mystic Roya. When she promised good luck, she delivered. When she promised love, it was found. She laughs about it behind closed doors, delighting in the games she plays with those who reach out to her for spiritual guidance, but at least she’s laughing all the way to the bank.

Casino Kaz

She loves what she does- really, she does, but Roya has never been very good at the monotonous life. Being in one place for so long is stifling enough, without succumbing to something as mundane as regularity. Roya was naturally restless to begin with, but the storm in which she grew up in only exaggerated this trait. The psychic fraud was fun, and she has no intention of giving it up, but the need for something more developed. Having spent her life chasing thrills, she’s never done well when the thrills disappear. 

Having done so well with her first cultivated persona, it made sense to add another deception to her bow. Mystic Roya was one aspect of who she was, not-quite her, but with enough of her in it to come naturally. The second side of the coin was easier still to slip into. Kaz. Unlike Mystic Roya, there was nothing spiritual about Kaz. They gambled, and cheated, and conned and lied, and loved every minute of it. 

The thrill has always faded quickly, but for Kaz, every day is different, every game is different. It’s enough to keep the excitement alive, and something about her double life keeps her even more exhilarated. Though she still chases excitement where she finds it, for the most part, she’s totally content, happy amassing her fortune and revelling in her success. 

Headcanons

Her mark, the Grifter Cricket, appeared on her lower back, to the left of her tailbone (think a typical tr*mp stamp). She doesn’t know how long it sat there before she noticed it. For her, the transition from human to Night Monster was slow and seamless, reflecting the more subtle nature of her powers. It would be very easy for Kaz to lay low, but her own ego forbids it. She’s always been the flashy type, and never one for laying low when she could be taking center stage. A reckless risk-taker, she never fully thinks of the consequences of her actions. She has luck on her side, though, and for her, that’s all the protection she needs. 

Like most things in her life, Kaz doesn’t take her status as a Night Monster too seriously. She knows the danger, but she simply doesn’t believe anything could happen to her. She knows that everything she has is a direct result of her powers, and isn’t shy about using them to get herself out of almost any situation. Though she doesn’t necessarily shout about her abilities (she’s dumb but she’s not stupid), she enjoys using them and is fairly proud of what she is, even if she can’t express that in the ways she wants to. 

Kaz had a good relationship with both of her parents, but never really stayed in one place long enough growing up to form bonds with anybody out of the family unit of three. Though she was loved, being an only child with no opportunity for friends was a lonely experience for a little girl. She more than makes up for it now, though. Kaz loves making friends, but isn’t the best at keeping them. She’s very much the type of person you’d have a blast with on the odd night out, but keeping up with her over long periods of time can be quite tiresome. For those who can, however, she’s quick to embrace them as found family and accept them as one of her own. 

Kaz has a taste for fine things, and wants nothing less than to surround herself with the best of everything. With the money she has gained, she bought a fancy apartment in the heart of the city. It’s not quite Empire Gardens, but the pace of life there suits her better, anyway. Though she paid for the apartment, she didn’t purchase anything in it. It came fully furnished, anyway, courtesy of the previous owner, and all of Kaz’s own additions have been stolen or swindled. 

Kaz is loyal to the Madhouse Renegades, but only because they best serve her interests. She doesn’t really care very much at all about their mission, nor the plight of the other Night Monsters. Her main concern is what is going on in the here and now, how it effects her, and ensuring her own prosperity. As a result of never settling anywhere any longer than two weeks, she doesn’t really realise the extent of the emperor’s tyranny, nor why what she’s doing matters. It’s all a bit of a game to her, and while she loves the thrill of it, she could easily switch sides if she saw enough benefit in it. She’s pledged her loyalty, but her actual commitment is flaky. 

Despite her success in amassing a small fortune, Kaz is terrible at math. Numbers and data are too objective, and hold very little interest for her, doing little but making her head hurt. She can’t tell you exactly how much she is worth- only that she wants more, and there’s no job too small to be below her consideration. 

Inspo

Pinterest

Character Tropes: Winds of Destiny, Change  Phony Psychic Karma Houdini Born Lucky Hard-Drinking Party Girl Money Fetish

Character Inspiration: Domino (Deadpool) Crickee (Mulan) Oda Mae Brown (Ghost) Faith (Buffy the Vampire Slayer) Lando Calrissian (Star Wars)  The Thénardiers (Les Mis)

Personality Type  ESTP

Alignment Chaotic Neutral

Enneagram Type 7 - The Enthusiast 

Western Astrology Leo Sun Aquarius Moon Gemini Rising

Deadly Sin Greed

Heavenly Virtue Gratitude

Connections

Paper Butterfly - Potential Victim

Cinder Fox - Frenemy

Demon Cat - Mutual intrigue

Carbon Caiman - Found Family

Night Eagle - Dumbass Duo

Sacred Maggot - Client

Ghost Moth - Stole her home/belongings

Cipher Mole - best friend

Severed Chimera - former assignment

[blackjack-15]

A Surprisingly Thoughtful Spin — Thoughts on: The Haunted Carousel (CAR)

Previous Metas: SCK/SCK2, STFD, MHM, TRT, FIN, SSH, DOG

Hello and welcome to a Nancy Drew meta series! 30 metas, 30 Nancy Drew Games that I’m comfortable with doing meta about. Hot takes, cold takes, and just Takes will abound, but one thing’s for sure: they’ll all be longer than I mean them to be.

Each meta will have different distinct sections: an Introduction, an exploration of the Title, an explanation of the Mystery, a run-through of the Suspects. Then, I’ll tackle some of my favorite and least favorite things about the game, and finish it off with ideas on how to improve it.  

This game also has an additional section between “The Mystery” and “The Suspects” entitled “The Theme”, where I’ll talk about the philosophy within this game, and how it stands out and solidifies its place as a truly “Expanded” game due to that thoughtfulness.

If any game requires an extra section or two, they’ll be listed in the paragraph above, along with links to previous metas.

These metas are not spoiler free, though I’ll list any games/media that they might spoil here: CAR, brief mentions of CLK, CRY, HAU, and ASH, brief but slightly spoiler-y mention of the opening act of SPY.

The Intro:

The Haunted Carousel is, without preamble, a fantastic game.

    I know I normally start these with a brief analysis of what stands out about the game or what it’s done for the series as a whole — and I will do that, never fear — but I think it’s important to establish first and foremost that, while it’s not an Overtly Beloved game, it very much should be, and it doesn’t get enough near enough credit. Especially since, in my opinion, the many great modern games’ tight plots and varied protagonists have their roots in this excellent game.

With a logical and ever-progressing plot, characters who feel like actual people, beautiful visuals, and historical backstories that round out the present day plots (plots!! In the plural!! Huzzah!!), Haunted Carousel may not be a wild ride, but it is a consistent, fun, and surprisingly thoughtful one.

CAR is perhaps the odd one out of its fellow Expanded games (SSH through SHA) in that its location isn’t really anything immersive. You don’t spend your time outdoors in thick atmosphere nor surrounded by trinkets of the Maya nor stuck on an old ranch, but between a bright hotel room and a shut-down (but not rundown) amusement park during the day. Its historical background isn’t linked to a specific area, there isn’t a “standout” scene featured in every gifset or trailer, and the wackiest the game really gets is expecting the player to enjoy Barnacle Blast.

In most ways, in other words, CAR is an exceptionally quiet game in the middle of quite a few loud ones, which might account for it not getting as much credit as it deserves. There are flashier games, there are longer games (CAR is quite short), and there are games with better and more memorable cutscenes…but there’s not many games in the series (and none of out the expanded games as well-told and sincere as CAR.

Not only is CAR a lot of fun to play, but it also takes care to mean something – to tell an actual story rather than a bare-bones whodunnit. The characters all have their reasons for being there and being involved, and they all have something to say as well — some directly contrasting each other. CAR doesn’t feel really like a computer game where everything is laid for the Convenience of the Plot and the suspects are only there to robotically deliver plot points and incriminate themselves. Rather, it feels like a whole story with real people where a crime happens to occur, but not everything revolves around that central plot point.

It’s also remarkable in the presence of a protagonist, which isn’t really something that Nancy Drew games have done yet. Nancy herself doesn’t count because at this point, Nancy doesn’t gain or lose anything from the mystery; she’s not the one with a problem, nor does she discover anything about herself. The Nik-era games are notable for their strong protagonists (or, often, dual protagonists with Nancy acting as one out of the two), but CAR really is the first one to take a character and have Nancy be a part of their story, rather than having Nancy act as a magnet to four pieces of metal and a mystery.

Mechanically, CAR is much the same as games that have come before it, as we won’t see another big upset until SHA, with the addition of Nancy’s cell phone (oh blessed day) and, most importantly, a task list. Fans had been asking for a task list since MHM (which sorely needed one so that you could at least identify which hanzi you had already seen) and CAR delivers that long-needed mechanical update.

The historical backstory is more recent than in most games, happening not in Antiquity or even during the 1700s but instead in the modern(ish) day, featuring the man behind the titular Carousel’s horses, Rolfe Kessler. The backstory doesn’t feel like an appendage like in DOG, but really establishes why the Carousel is so important and helps serve the theme of the game (more on that later).

The last thing that’s really important to note in CAR is its villain. By now, HER is reasonably okay at camouflaging its villain for at least the first third of the game, and here does a good job keeping the player in the dark for the first bit. CAR is also HER’s first successful attempt at the friendly villain archetype. Elliott Chen is pleasant, accommodating, friendly, funny, and incredibly likable. He just also happens to be a forger stretched thinner than he’s comfortable with.

Ultimately, The Haunted Carousel is a great game with a huge thematic presence, likable characters, and an honest character arc. Not only should it be a must-play for any new fan, it should be on the top of any older fan’s re-play list, both for its intrinsic value and for its obvious influence on the plots and protagonists of the modern Nancy Drew games.

The Title:

As far as titles go, The Haunted Carousel is a meh one – admittedly, it’s probably the weakest part of the entire game. It does tell us what our focal point will be — the Carousel — and the mystery surrounding the focal point – that it’s haunted — but, like DOG, it doesn’t really go much past that.

After completing the game, the title does mean a little more — the events of the game are a carousel of hauntings in that they seem to be cyclical and mysterious, but are really a farce — a simple fair ride with pretty decorations but simple parts. The carousel itself also points towards the villain, who’s the only artist out of the cast, and seems to allude to Joy’s cycle of sadness — she’s haunted as well.

It’s not a brilliant title, all things considered, but because the game is so good, it’s only a minor blip on the radar rather than something symptomatic of the game’s value.

The Mystery:

Paula Santos, a friend of Carson Drew’s, hears about Nancy’s penchant for solving mysteries and decides to call her in to investigate some thefts and sabotage that Captain’s Cove, an amusement park in New Jersey, has been encountering.

Nancy learns that first, the lead horse on the carousel was stolen, followed by the roller coaster losing power and causing a serious crash. The last straw for Paula was the merry-go-round turning on in the middle of the night, and Captain’s Cove has been shut down until someone — perhaps a badly-attired ginger fresh out of high school — can figure out what’s causing these problems.

It’s Nancy’s job to explore the shut-down amusement park, talk to the leftover staff, help reconstruct a carousel horse, and use such Astoundingly Modern Technologies as a cell phone and a laptop in order to crack the case behind The Haunted Carousel.

As a mystery, CAR is a pretty good one; it’s the age-old Nancy Drew Sabotage set up, but with the twist of happening at an amusement park. There are plenty of clues and even more red herrings, and the attempt to keep you guessing until the 3/4ths mark is a solid attempt.

I don’t know if this mystery feels more fun because it’s at a place like an amusement park or if really is that fun, but the overall effect is the same, and CAR is a delight to solve. The backstory and present story fit together like jigsaw pieces, and the suspects are both interesting and a ton of fun to question.

Is CAR an overly difficult or surprising mystery? Not to the modern mind, I would say, especially given the mystery fans’ inclination to suspect the friendliest suspect (a hole-in-one suspicion here). But it is incredibly fun to see how everything is put together, and it’s a water-tight mystery, if not air-tight.

It’s okay that the mystery isn’t the absolute greatest, however, because it isn’t the most profound part of the game.

The Theme:

Prior to CAR, Nancy Drew games didn’t really bother with the concept of theme. It was new and novel and difficult enough to design detective computer games that ran efficiently with decent graphics and to put them out twice a year that HER focused, quite rightly, on that rather than on trying more complex ideas.

With the formula and the game engine firmly established, however, and a small but fervent fanbase ready to devour the latest game — and being in charge of their own distribution — HER was ready to expand their games in a way separate from technology or location: it was ready for a strong theme.

As a character, Nancy deals with some pretty heavy stuff during the course of her mysteries. In the early games, we don’t really see it affecting her that much, which is a product of simple writing and, in my opinion, the child-like resilience of an 18 year old. While she has her occasional line like “to think I almost made friends with a jewel thief!” in TRT, these cases tend to engage Nancy on an intellectual level rather than an emotional one.

CAR shifts that narrative slightly and allows Nancy to bond with a suspect — Joy Trent — over their shared loss of a mother. Joy has also lost her father recently and is stuck in mourning over both her father and her childhood. Her father, having realized how both repressed and depressed Joy is, decided to build her a robot to help her get in touch with her childhood again. In other words, the jumping off point of the story is a father who wanted good things, happiness, and safety for his daughter, and tried to go about it in a way that he thought would be best.

If you’re hearing echoes of SPY here, you’re correct. The difference here being that Joy’s repression of tragedy leads her into a pit of inaction while stewing over that tragedy, while Nancy’s repression (which I’ll talk about more in my TMB meta) pushes her to action while ignoring the driving force of that tragedy.

CAR is also, I believe, the first time that Nancy mentions the death of her mother to a suspect, and it’s a really humanizing moment for her. As much as Nancy can be driven, tactless, and goal-oriented, she’s not a robot, and she does have personal as well as professional reasons behind the things she does and the characters she tends to bond with.

The first big thematic point in CAR is the importance of connection. It juxtaposes morose, prickly Joy (who doesn’t want a friend but gets one anyway) against our villain, who is friendly and smiling and charming but is by no means someone Nancy should make friends with. It also asks a question to tie into this theme: are those who are mean bad, and are those who are bad always mean? It’s almost a Shakespearean theme (“one may smile, and smile, and be a villain”) and it’s well-placed here.

The second theme comes up in the backstory about Rolfe Kessler, a genius who struggled all his life with mental illness, eventually ending with him never getting the credit he deserved and without the companionship of the woman he loved, Amelia.

It’s a tragic story in a way that HER hasn’t really done tragic stories yet — MHM has a basically happy ending, in TRT by the end the implication is that Marie is finally going to get the credit and un-blackening of her name that she deserves, FIN’s is a whole mess so we’re not even gonna try to dissect that, and in SSH the Whisperer is vindicated. 

There’s no descendant of Rolfe in this game; no historian ready to exculpate him, no family members or friends to remember him fondly to Nancy over the phone. Rolfe is in the game, as in his life, alone. It’s a tragedy, and the way that Nancy and the player discover his genius and his story is quiet, as befitting the man.

Through Rolfe’s story we address the twin themes of remembrance — that how you’re remembered will generally be the way you lived (think DED’s dénouement for further insight) in the time that you lived — and of the role of trauma and struggle in life. Rolfe’s struggle against his illness didn’t make him a genius, but it did stand in his way of achieving all that he could.

And that’s where we tie into Joy and the main theme of the game. Once again, we see a person being limited by their mental illness and their struggle against it, and a world that doesn’t really take that struggle into effect. Instead of Joy being alone in this struggle, however, she has help — not just the small help from Nancy, but the help and support of her father through Miles the Magnificent Memory Machine.

Miles was created by Darryl Trent to help Joy unlock her childhood memories and move past her trauma in a healthy way – and only if she was actually dedicated to the task. The riddles, while not hugely difficult, are enough to dissuade Joy from ever really trying to get past them, as she’s not ready to open that lid just yet. As anyone who’s experienced mental illness (or had a close loved one experience it) knows, there’s no way for you to improve and grow if you’re not ready to receive the help you need.

Opening up just a little bit to Nancy and having someone who doesn’t have to care about her problems actually care is enough to springboard Joy to take the first step and try to tackle the riddles again with a little help. Over the course of the game, Joy gets more and more ready and less resentful towards her past and finds the strength to confront herself and her illness.

While the trauma of losing her mother in the way that she lost her (not to mention the added weight of her family’s financial situation) didn’t make Joy strong, the choice to struggle through and come out the better on the other side does make her end the game stronger than when she started and with more — pardon the pun — joy in her life. That progression is what makes her the protagonist, but is also sets her up to have the theme hand-delivered to her.

Miles states that it was Darryl’s belief that life is simply made up of memories. This is why it’s such a big deal that Joy’s memories of her mother are repressed, because her brain is actively erasing her life. As Joy moves through those memories with Nancy and Miles’ help, she gains back her life and is shown that, while struggle is a part of life, it doesn’t define life — and that a good life isn’t necessarily a life made up of only good things.

The presence of these themes (and of the final theme in particular) is what makes CAR such a strong game. Though the characters are delightful, the aesthetic is fabulous, the Hardy Boys are here, and the history and puzzles are fun, it’s CAR’s strong thematic elements interwoven with its plot that really makes it something special.

So let’s get on with those characters, shall we?

The Suspects:

Joy Trent is the current bookkeeper of Captain’s Cove and basically the man in charge apart from Paula. Her father Darryl used to work at/own half of Captain’s Cove, but died poor (specifically of a heart attack in bankruptcy court, poor man) after having to sell his part of the park to Paula. Thus, Joy holds a grudge against Paula even as she does good work for the park.

She’s also suffering a bit of childhood amnesia due to the trauma of her mother dying when she was young — the first of the women featured in this game series to share that backstory with Nancy. This forms a lot of the story’s B plot (with the historical backstory of the game being relegated to the C-plot) as Nancy and a funny little computer help her to move past this emotional block, confront her past, and progress to a better future.

As a suspect, Joy isn’t a bad pick at all, in part because she is responsible for a portion of the sabotage — the shut-down of the roller coaster while it was in operation – over bitterness for her father’s ignominious end. This little instance is helpful for diverting attention away from the true saboteur — though she doesn’t mean to — and it helps round out Joy as more than just the sad daddy’s girl (and resident protagonist) that she would be otherwise.

Well, other than her magical talking robot companion.

Miles the Magnificent Memory Machine isn’t really a culprit, but he definitely needs to be noted here, as he’s the best help that Nancy has outside of the Hardy Boys. Miles knows everything about Joy, yet he can’t move the story forward without Nancy completing a little task after task that unlocks the next portion of his (rather, by proxy, Joy’s father’s) quest to help Joy become a well-rounded, non-traumatized person who can face her past.

I’ve said enough about Miles’ part in the Theme section above, so I’ll move on without too much in this area.

Harlan Bishop is the security guard of Captain’s Cove and an ex-forger in a past life. He’s also voiced by Jonah Von Spreecken, best known for his long-running stint as Frank Hardy and for his writing of Francy fanfiction, God bless the man.

Harlan went to jail for forging checks and had a hard time getting a job once he was free, but Paula offered him a job as a security guard at Captain’s Cove and he’s been loyal since, even taking a pay cut in order to keep his job as the park was shut down. He’s also hilarious, giving such immortal quotes as “the whale is getting impatient” when trying to summon Nancy to the security office.

As a suspect, Harlan is interesting. He shares the key identity of the villain — a forger — as a red herring and as a way to complicate the mystery, and he does do something wrong in that he spies on Ingrid to get the passcode to her office. Sure, he does it for a good and innocent reason — he wants to be the best security guard he can possibly be, and that means learning everything about the park — but it’s still wrong to do, and Nancy (in a rather supercilious way) doesn’t hesitate to call him on it (and, once again rather arrogantly, for his past. Nancy’s done way worse than forgery in her hobby as a detective, after all).

Ultimately, Harlan is too good a guy to actually cause the problems and thefts at Captain’s Cove, and stays on with Paula even after getting other job offers once he helps Nancy recover the stolen lead horse for the carousel. He serves as Nancy’s “buddy” character after the mess with Nancy reporting him finishes its business.

Elliot Chen is the art director — and perpetually behind art director — of Captain’s Cove and our friendly neighborhood villain for the game. Elliott is the first to greet Nancy with a smile and a joke, and is friendly in a way that instantly suckers the player in.

HER has been trying since TRT’s Lisa to create a villain that’s actually a sort of friend to Nancy – or at least passes off as someone becoming her friend throughout the course of the game, and they nail it with Elliott. He even mentions Poppy Dada as a sort of inside joke with the player that makes one easily warm up to him.

As a suspect, Elliott is perfect. He’s sly enough to take advantage of what others do and fold it into his plan (the roller coaster) and to use people’s superstitions to his advantage both for privacy for his schemes and for driving the price of the carousel horses up.

He’s got just enough clues pointing towards everyone else — taking the eccentricities of his coworkers not only in stride but in good humor and flexibility towards his plans — and a pretty water-tight excuse for falling behind (procrastination — everyone knows artists and other creative types are the Worst Procrastinators) to help him pull off the vast majority of his plan without anyone being the wiser.

In short, Elliott is exactly the kind of character that this game needed, and his presence is a joy — even if (or perhaps especially because) he’s the villain.

Ingrid Corey is the chief engineer of Captain’s Cove, a graduate of OSU, and resident hippy-dippy “nutritionist” who can diagnose a B3 deficiency just by looking at Nancy. She’s a little crazy to talk to, but seems like at first she could just be using that to throw our resident teen detective off the trail.

As a suspect, Ingrid checks all the boxes once again, and not just because she, like everyone else, does something wrong. Ingrid, genius engineer that she is, decides to let a friend borrow the roller coaster’s blueprints to study them for a hefty fee, garnering her enough money for a 20K$ watch and enough left over to look for a new car.

Nancy also suspects her of insurance fraud with a man who got injured on the roller coaster when Joy sabotaged it, but it turns out in a show of startling naiveté, Ingrid just wanted to recommend a neck cream to the unfortunate man rather than help him profit off of his injury.

She doesn’t really become Nancy’s buddy, but she is remarkable in that she sort of disappears for most of the game. At the beginning, it makes her look a bit suspicious, but towards the end it just becomes clear that the game is less focused in Ingrid, who doesn’t really support the theme or move the plot along, and more worried about establishing its meaning and helping Nancy solve the case in time.

The Favorite:

While it should be obvious that my favorite part of this game is its theme and the associated thematic elements, I’ll try to branch out here a bit….though not so far out as to ignore the Hardy Boys, who are once again wonderful in this game. Honestly, most games with the Hardy Boys present are better than most games without the Hardy Boys. (Though of course, there are a few exceptions (notably ASH and SPY).)

CAR has one of my favorite casts (and favorite villains) of the entire series, so they’ll be here as well. It’s such a nice change of pace from games like FIN and DOG where the casts are lackluster to go to games like CAR that are so strong in making you care about the characters.

My single favorite thing about CAR, however, is the presence of a protagonist in Joy Trent. The first games (and quite a few of the middle games, it should be noted) treat Nancy as the main character and lack a protagonist completely, ignoring the fact that Nancy really can’t be a main character in the half-ghost (personality-wise) state she’s in, especially given that most of her dialogue is “ask a question, get an answer” rather than showing any real personality or particular motive beyond solving the case. Don’t get me wrong, I understand why that was the case given the limitations of the early 2000s and of HER in particular, but it does remove any possibility of Nancy being able to be the protagonist.

That’s why Joy’s presence is such a delight, honestly. She’s the character with the problem to solve — her past traumas — and the game carries Nancy through helping her in a way that Nancy’s never really helped anyone before. Sure, Nancy solves the mystery, but what she really does is offer peace to Joy, who can now grow up a little further and move on. CAR gives Nancy a purpose that will be improved and expanded upon in games like CLK, CRY, HAU, and GTH.

My favorite puzzle is the entire puzzle track with the carousel (including the conversation with Tink, who is a wonderful phone friend). There’s something super cool about going inside a carousel and finding out how the magic works, and there’s so much to explore in it that it’s really a magical place, even though it’s not actually anything supernatural.

My favorite moment in the game (other than the final ‘battle’) is the conversation with the Hardy Boys after Nancy nearly gets run over due to her own clumsiness. A classic.

The Un-Favorite:

Because of the care taken with CAR, there won’t be a lot in this section.

My least favorite puzzle is probably the mini-plot revolving around fixing Barnacle Blast — and then playing Barnacle Blast. While it’s not a horrible game in and of itself, it just doesn’t really fit the overall aesthetic of the puzzles of Captain’s Cove, and for me it sticks out quite a bit as a “oh we need a puzzle here what can we think of that the kids like” and came up with an arcade game in a vintage-style amusement park. It’s a bit off.

The stenography isn’t a great one as well, but I give it props for fitting the atmosphere and theme, so it’s not my least favorite.

My least favorite moment in the game…is probably where Nancy knocks over Elliott’s paint, as it seems to be a Big Moment but — Nancy doesn’t actually ruin anything, and it makes Elliott look a little silly.

I know that most of the games (especially as early as CAR) didn’t want to have Nancy do anything wrong in the non-second-chance story of the game, but actually having Elliot forgive her for messing up something important would have been a big step in establishing his character and throwing suspicion off of him — not to mention justifying his even further behind schedule as the game goes on.

The Fix:

So how would I fix CAR?

There’s not a lot of work to be done here, honestly. Take out Barnacle Blast and substitute it with a more on-theme mini-game, lengthen out the game a bit by playing up Ingrid’s plotline along with everyone else’s and perhaps giving Elliott something to do in the latter half of the game so it’s not so obvious by that point that he’s the Villain, and you’ve pretty much clinched it without any real re-working.

Like I said in the last paragraph of the above section, a tweak of the cutscene with “ruining” Elliott’s work would help his and Nancy’s storyline to have a different and improved feel, but that’s pretty much it as far as concrete changes go.

The beauty of CAR is that its simplicity actually works, rather than feeling bare-bones or underwritten. It’s not a difficult or complex mystery, but that’s not the point of Nancy’s being there or of the game as a thematic whole.

Sure, CAR deals with some pretty heavy themes such as loss, loyalty, debt, revenge, trauma, shades of mental illness, and even the question of is a bad person necessarily a mean person, but it accepts those bad things in stride and knows that they’re necessary in order to tell a tale of resilience and a happy ending. Miles the Magnificent Memory Machine delivers that theme to both Nancy and to the player, after all: “even bad memories have a place in a good life”.

[lizzytheauthor]

Chapter 1

Yo, I dunno where else to put this, but I want to at least start putting something out. I plan on trying to get this published, so I won’t be posting the whole book, but if you are interested in it, message me and I’m sure I can get it to you in some way shape or form. I hope you enjoy my writing! ^_^

I’ve always been fascinated with police work, and federal investigations. I want to start a way to keep track of my new career, so to speak. I gotta think of a way to keep it interesting though. “My Name is Sydney, and I’m-” No no, that sounds artificial. “Welcome to my blog! Police and Things! I’m your host” Ugh, no. That’s far too casual. I don’t want people to think I’m not professional. “This is going to be the first post of a continuing line following Investigative work” No. Maybe I could just try…

This just in, we have reports of a 211 in progress, any available units please respond.

Oh! Oh! This will be perfect for the first post on my blog! Sydney Farrow is, uh, missing her pants. I cannot go anywhere naked. What a horrible time to be doing laundry. Crap. Why does my apartment have to be such a mess at this time? How inconvenient. I’ll have to talk to Fred about that later.

Walking into the living room only increases my anxiety, ugh. Pizza boxes on the TV? Really? You would think a Synth would be a bit more tidy. Yup, kitchens a mess too. I really wish they didn’t include eating, and other human functions, in the design. Emotions are a pain too. We just had an argument last night about the dishes. If he doesn’t stop leaving the frying pans on the counter with dried bacon grease in them I’m going to blow a gasket.

Laundry room, my one safe haven. At least I know he won’t ever go in here. My bedroom is safe too, but I haven’t been able to keep up with cleaning and my job. It’s not a mess by normal people standards; My standards are a bit higher, however. Thank god the drier is done, now to just get some pants on and head out the- “Yo Syd!”

Fred’s voice. As irritating as ever.

“Hey Fred, I can’t talk now. I have something important to tend to.”

“Ooooo, what? Going on another ‘Mission’?

Try not to lose your cool, maybe he didn’t mean for that to be condescending

“Yea, actually. There’s a Robbery in progress...And you aren’t listening.” “What did you say? Sorry, I was uh,” he’s looking around. For what?

I’m just going to grab my jacket from the closet and leave. I don’t have time for his nonsense. “Look, you’re wasting my time. I need you to clean up your garbage by the time I get back.” I turn, but he’s halfway out the door already. Great. I’ll just leave a note on his computer for him. Seems to be the only way I can talk to him some days. Anyway, I gotta go! It’s going to take a little bit, it seems. I really need to get my license, my bike is far too slow, I’ve already missed 3 crime scenes. I have absolutely zero experience for my blog! It looks like the trip is gonna take 15 minutes, maybe if I cut through Mrs. Jones’ yard I can cut it in half.

Going up and down these stairs all the time really bothers me. Not because I dislike the stairs themselves, but because I can’t bring Timmy up them. The neighborhood is good, and nobody has reported any bike thefts recently, but I’m still worried. There he is, right where I left him.

“Timmy! Glad to see you haven’t gotten yourself stolen yet.” I await his response.

As usual, there is none.

“Well, we have a quick errand to run, buddy. We don’t have much time, so don’t fail on me now.”

I take off the bike lock, and stow it in my messenger bag. Well buddy, let’s get going. We are going to ride through Mrs. Jones yard tonight, we need to shave about 5 minutes off our ETA. Yea, yea, I know that you don’t like cutting through yards, but last time wasn’t so bad. Look, I didn’t see that squirrel, and I know it wasn’t your fault. However the trampoline incident was all you.

The city looks really pretty at night, it looks like it might rain again. It rained all day, too. That’s one of the reasons I like to live here, plenty of rain. I forgot to grab my raincoat though, so I hope the weather holds out. Ok, East on main st. right? I’m so glad I got that attachment to hold my phone on my bike handles. Let’s me use my GPS a lot better. Ok, so Mrs. Jones’ yard should be just around the corner...here! Whoa, whoa wait!!!

I pull up to where the crime scene is supposed to be, soaking wet. There’s police tape, and it’s been sectioned off and everything, but I don’t see anyone here. Oh no. Did I miss it? I rush under the tape, and...Yep. The door is sealed entirely. I can’t believe I missed it. This is all Fred’s fault. The dumb, uh. I need to get better at thinking of insults. Ugh. Well, Timmy. It seems we fell into the pool for nothing. Hey! Don’t get defensive, I didn’t know Mrs. Jones had gotten a pool! Yea? Well, you’re the bike. You should have stopped. Don’t you turn this around on me.

Look at me, talking to a bike that isn’t sentient. Chasing crime scenes to get blog views. Rent is going to be due in a couple days. How much do I have in my account, hopefully it’s enough. 563|08. Well. I guess I could get a Taco on the way home. Wait, was this building always here? I’ve ridden down this street so many times. How could I never notice this? No. This definitely wasn’t here before. I can’t even recognize the writing on the sign. What language is that? I know more than 356 written languages, sure that’s not as many as the average, but I should still recognize something on a sign. How interesting. Well, I have nothing else to do. Timmy, wait here, and stand guard.

Walking up the steps...these seem, old. For sure. Like, old old. Spiders, dust, and creaky wood. All adds up to an old building. Have I really just not paid attention? Let’s, uh, I guess knock? The city wouldn’t just let an unused building sit here. It’s a busy street. I reach up to knock, and the door opens automatically. That’s not too unusual, I suppose. Many buildings have knock sensing tech, right? Even, uh, old creepy ones from the 1900’s. Well, let’s go inside then.

The interior is, unexpected to say the least. Gold inlays all over the place, wires dangling from the ceiling, a gigantic double helix staircase in front of me, numerous halls line the sides of the room. It’s not a business building. Does someone live here? They need to fix their cleaning bot. Noticing a broken vase in the corner, maybe they don’t have any bots at all here. I’m going to pick a hallway and just see where it leads.

This hallway. How would I even describe it? Uh, wildly different from the main entrance. I go through one door and it goes from creepy mansion to high tech secret underground base. What’s going on here? Oh! An intercom? Maybe I can talk to someone.

I push the button, “Uh, hey. What’s the haps, yo?” Try to sound relaxed and laid back. If they accuse me of trespassing I got cover stories, and if they try to kill me. Well. It’s been a bad life anyway.

“What. Who are you? How did you get access to this?” the voice sounds, synthetic, like an old timey text to speech program. “Uh, my name is Sydney! I stumbled across your mansion here, I don’t recall it being here before.”

There’s some scuffling on the intercom. “Hello?”

“Yes. Uh. Hi. What, uh. Hm. What year is it?”

Now that’s a strange question.

“It’s, uh. 2044. Why would you ask that?” My sci-fi nerd in me says time traveler. “That’s not right. That’s not right at all.” after this, I just hear a bunch of typing.

“Uh, I’m pretty sure it is.” I glance at my phone, in bright blue letters, 9:38pm April 9th, 2044. “No you see.” the voice sounds a bit frantic now, “You can’t be right, cause that means I’m wrong.”

Attempt at time traveling, that’d be interesting. Who is this?

I push the button again, “Hey, uh. What’s your name? What are you up to? Where are you?”

Silence. “Hello?”

The wall opens abruptly. I didn’t even recognize that as a door, so naturally I jumped.

“You. Sydney, yes?” the man talking to me, is old. Strange. Like, a cross between mad scientist and bad yoga instructor. “Yea, that’s what I said. You still haven’t given me your name though.” I let a little bit of irritation out, I don’t like being ignored. Fred does that enough to me. “My name? Ah, yes. Uh. You can call me Nere.” somehow that fits the old man. “Near? Like, as in close to me?” I am confused as to why someone would name their child near.

“N-E-R-E. As in, my name. As for ‘The Haps, yo’, I am testing some devices.” he looks over my shoulder as he says this.

Obviously you are testing devices. Raising the dead are we? Going back to 1955? “What kind of devices? And uh, why are you looking over my shoulder?”

“You ask a lot of questions. Look, the year isn’t 2044, it’s 2048.” he’s been eating from the hose, for sure.

“Buddy, look. You’re wrong. See?” I show him my phone, crazy old guy. He looks genuinely confused. I might have broken him. “Hm. Well, the good news is it worked, the bad news is you got caught in the middle of it.” He gets this twitch in his eye. I don’t like him, I don’t really like anything about what he said either.

“What do you mean I got caught in the middle of it?” My voice got a little panicky there.

“No worries, I think you are only time misaligned by a week or two at most.” he says this as he pulls out the most ridiculous looking laptop you can imagine.

“What does THAT mean? What is this place?” I don’t like the implication that I time traveled by accident here.

“This is my house. Well, kind of. I stole it out of time. I went to the past to grab this house and bring it back to the future. They just don’t make houses like this anymore.” He seems, calm. He doesn’t believe he is lying.

“Ok, well. I’m going to leave, cause you are kind of freaking me out.” I move to the door I entered from.

“Good, yes, go. I don’t need an unwanted hitchhiker through time.” As tempting as that sounds, I want to go home and clean my room. “See ya, crazy.”

And I leave. Only, stepping out the front door, I can’t shake what he said out of my mind. My phone is on UTC time, so it should be correct. I don’t need to pull out my phone again, but everything seems off. It seems normal, but different. Timmy is waiting for me, the rain clouds have moved on.

I pull out my phone. Do I dare check it? If he was right and we moved through time a week, what do I do? Do I go back in? The blue text pops up, as usual and plain as normal.

9:38pm April 16th 2044

“Oh.”

[itsallavengers]

(Mis)adventures of Cop!Tony & Thief!Steve

The police officer was almost bent double, regarding the picked lock and open safe as if it was having a conversation with him. There was no-one else in the room; the resident of the home had long since left the place- too upset to stay. They had just been burgled, after all.

“Safe appears to have been forced open,” the cop spoke into his walkie-talkie that was almost certainly not actually transmitting to anyone in particular, “no fingerprints or evidence of any sort, except for a footprint left by a size twelve foot. Probably looking for a tall man in the late thirties-”

“You’re looking for Rogers,” Tony said with a sigh, pushing open the door and regarding the scene of the crime with a raised eyebrow, “and no- he’s none of those things. He only puts the footprint down to fuck with you- thinks it’s funny, the little prick.”

The police officer- some recruit they’d hired a few weeks back that Tony couldn’t remember the name of- stared at him in surprise. “I- what are you doing here? And how the hell do you know that? This is a fresh crime and you just walked in.”

Tony kneaded his forehead and sighed. He was always sighing, these days. He was pretty sure exhalations had increased by at least 54% in the past year since Stupid Steve had arrived on the scene. “Because the perpetrator just sent me a selfie of him with the stolen item.”

The rookie gasped, stepping forward immediately. “You’re in contact with the perp?” He asked.

Tony just rolled his eyes, stepping forward and peering into the safe, checking the locks. Yep- that was definitely Steve’s style- he could fucking smell the guy on a crime scene at this point. “If I did- you think I’d be here? He sent it on a burner- been doing it for months now, every single time he makes a case. Is the home owner still here?”

The rookie stumbled a little, trying to process the surge of information. “I… so you’re saying a dangerous criminal has managed to obtain your number? Are you- are we safe?”

“He’s not-” Tony stopped, and pointedly did not sigh this time, “he’s not dangerous. Just an asshole.”

Yeah. Asshole indeed. Ever since the beginning of the year the guy had been making it his personal goal to try and annoy and irritate Tony as much as possible. 29 cases- all unsolved, all involving cat-burglary, theft, extortion or blackmail, and most importantly, all involving Steve Fucking Rogers.

Asshole. 

“Anyway,” Tony said, shaking his head and trying not to think about the mountain of paperwork that skinny law-dodging son of a bitch was going to have made for him that evening, “are the owners still here?”

“Can I see the picture?” Rookie asked, puffing his chest, “for evidence, you know.”

“No no no no, me first, then you,” Tony pointed to himself and clicked his tongue irritably. He was not in a good enough mood to be dealing with Rookies who wanted him to do perfectly reasonable things. “Are the owners still in the damn house?”

Rookie looked a little taken aback, but he shook his head. “Guy said he was too spooked to stay. Took an early vacation for a little while.”

Okay. See, now Tony was going to sigh again, dammit- next time he was going to catch Steve Rogers and make sure he never caused Tony any fucking hassle again- just see if he fucking didn’t. “Don’t they teach you kids about letting suspects just wander off? I’m sure they teach that. If they don’t, I suggest you learn it.”

Tony pulled a disc out of his folder and shoved it at the guy’s chest before turning on his heel. “That’s what was in the safe,” he said, waving a hand, “don’t watch it. It’s a ton of child porn.”

The Rookie reeled back in horror. “But- but- this house belongs to the mayor of the-”

“I’m aware,” Tony said dryly, “but not for much longer, if I can get ahold of him. I do have a nice pair of cuffs that would go well with his eyes, though. Any idea where he was headed?”

Rookie shook his head, and then looked back down at the disc. “How the fuck did you get this?” He asked, before catching on a second later and widening his eyes. “Did- the perp gave this to you, too?”

 Well, see, that just made Tony sound like a bad cop. He wasn’t a bad cop. He was one of the fucking best cops in New York. Just so happened that Rogers was a really, really good crook.

“It was in my mail this morning,” Tony bit out, “crime happened, what, 8 hours ago? Mail arrived 40 minutes ago, with that.”

He left out the letter Rogers had sent along with it- that one was still tucked away in his pocket, the string of numbers and the’call me if you fancy a real challenge ;) x’ still replaying in his mind like a broken record.

Stupid criminal. Stupid Criminal Steve who was just getting cocky, that’s all he was. 

“Go back to the precinct, kid,” Tony ran a hand through his hair, feeling the too-long strands and wondering when he was gonna have the time to cut it after all the goddamn paperwork he was going to have to fill out, “you’re not gonna get anything else from this. I’ll make the arrest- he won’t have gotten far.”

“Who- Rogers?”

“No, the fucking Mayor who owns a shit-ton of child porn,” Tony snapped, “Rogers is none of your concern, just forget about him. He’s my criminal, alright, and I’ll deal with him.”

With that, he turned on his heel and walked back to his car. A long drive across the tri-state area was really not something he fancied at that moment, but hey- at least it would be another bad guy down. 

He supposed he could thank Rogers for that much, at least. And… maybe a few of the others, too.  Okay, maybe all 29 others. But whatever. Still a criminal.

He built up a sigh in his lungs, readying to release it once he slid into the driver’s seat, but the air was promptly removed from his chest when he noticed that the backseat of the car had somehow become occupied in the space it had taken for Tony to go in an patronise the rookie. Which was very odd, and definitely a sign of something. Possibly dangerous, but somehow, Tony doubted it.

He stopped, glaring through the window and to the thoroughly tied and gagged mayor, now sporting the word ‘SCUM’ written across his forehead in what appeared to be permanent marker.

“I hate you,” Tony declared to the empty street, folding his arms, “I really, really do.”

“You were being slow,” Steve shrugged, popping up from the other side of the car, his blonde hair flopping over his eyes for a second before he tucked it away behind his ears, “and I had a free morning. Thought I’d save you the journey.”

“Yeah, well, I don’t appreciate it,” Tony said grumpily, “I should just shoot you in the knee and bring you in, you know. You’re a menace to society and I would be fired on the spot if they knew that I was stood here talking to you rather than arresting your ass.”

Steve laughed. “By all means, do your worst. I’d like to see how that would go down.”

Tony, unsurprisingly, did not. He’d seen what Steve could do- knew how slippery the bastard was. Quite frankly, he’d rather just save himself the embarrassment. “I should still shoot you.”

Steve raised an eyebrow. “You enjoy my company too much to do that.”

“Want a fucking bet, Rogers?”

“I bet my left kneecap.”

Tony pulled out his gun with brisk and brutal efficiency, but Steve just laughed.

Bastard.

“So- you get my letter?” Steve leaned across the side of the car, linking his fingers together and looking up toward Tony, who folded his arms defiantly, “what do you think? I’m always available for consulting- love to lend a hand when the cops can’t quite do it themselves. Or, you know, it could just be you and me. I’d prefer that, to be honest, and I’m not wrong when I say it would certainly be an exciting challenge-”

“You have the right to remain silent,” Tony interrupted him with stubbornly, starting to walk around to the other side of the car whilst Steve just chuckled and backed up, “anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law-”

“Aw, shucks, Tony, I thought I was getting myself a date, not an arrest,” Steve shook his head, but he was still smiling as he drew up his hood.

“You have the right to an attorney,” Tony called out, beginning to speed up as Steve started jogging backwards, “If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be-”

At that moment, Steve pressed a button in his hand- Tony’s fucking car keys- and unlocked the doors of his car. The guy in the back, seeing this development, wasted no time in starting to scramble out, falling on the street and onto all fours. “Me or him, Tony!” Steve called out in glee, tossing over the keys as he continued to jog away.

Tony turned in surprise, looking over to the man as he stumbled down he street. When he turned back, the skinny blond was nowhere to be seen. Fucking Rogers- he’d been trying to for a god damn year now and the little bastard was still slipping through his fucking fingers each time.

“-Provided for you DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE RIGHTS I HAVE JUST READ YOU!” Tony yelled, kicking a can in the middle of the road and then groaning irritably.

It was only eight in the fucking morning, and he was already yelling at nobody in the middle of the street.  He should have just become a fucking game designer. That sounded nice. Hassle free. No deceptively beautiful perps with infuriating tendencies to disappear into thin air in that line of work.

Grinding his teeth, he marched after the mayor and grabbed him back by the ties Steve had made around his wrists. A knee to the back of his leg and then Tony was repeating the same Miranda Rights all over again whilst the other 99% of his brain thought pleasantly about the next gallon of coffee he was about to pour directly into his central nervous system.

“I like it longer,” and then a hand brushed through his hair, soft and delicate and with bony fingers that made the top of his head feel tingly and warm.

Tony’s head jerked up, and he caught sight of Steve as he ran down the street, having stopped only to ruffle Tony’s hair before moving on again. He’d put a hand out to catch the wrist instinctively, but of course, by that point Steve was long gone.

The other man made a phone gesture and winked, before slipping around the corner again. Tony just watched him, hands still gripping on to the perp.

His hair felt warm. Maybe it wasn’t so bad a little longer, after all.

He groaned, but couldn’t help the tiny (teeny tiny- barely even there, really) laugh that escaped him.

Fucking Rogers.

[gadgetgirl71]

Top Ten Tuesday 8 September 2020

Welcome to this weeks Top Ten Tuesday. Originally created by The Broke & The Bookish, which is now hosted by Jana @ That Artsy Reader Girl. Each week it features a book or literary themed category. This weeks prompt is:

Books for My Younger Self:

(These could be books you wish you had read as a child, books younger you could have really learned something from, books that meshed with your hobbies/interests, books that could have helped you go through events/changes in your life, etc.)

Well there are a few series that I would have liked my younger self to have read which are mainly fiction along with only a few non fiction and they are:

Wild Swans: Three Daughters of China by Jung Chang

A new edition of one of the best-selling and best-loved books of recent years, with a new introduction by the author. The publication of Wild Swans in 1991 was a worldwide phenomenon. Not only did it become the best-selling non-fiction book in British publishing history, with sales of well over two million, it was received with unanimous critical acclaim, and was named the winner of the 1992 NCR Book Award and the 1993 British Book of the Year Award. Few books have ever had such an impact on their readers. Through the story of three generations of women — grandmother, mother and daughter — Wild Swans tells nothing less than the whole tumultuous history of China’s tragic twentieth century, from sword-bearing warlords to Chairman Mao, from the Manchu Empire to the Cultural Revolution. At times terrifying, at times astonishing, always deeply moving, Wild Swans is a book in a million, a true story with all the passion and grandeur of a great novel. For this new edition, Jung Chang has written a new introduction, bringing her own story up to date, and describing the effect Wild Swans’ success has had on her life.

The State of Me by Nasim Marie Jafry

It s 1983 and 20-year-old university student Helen Fleet should be enjoying the best days of her life, but while all her friends go on to graduate and have careers in London, she is forced to return to her parents home, bedridden with vile symptoms that doctors can’t explain and often don’t believe. She is eventually diagnosed with M.E, a cruel illness that she must learn to live with over the next decade. All of her relationships are tested and changed by her condition, but Helen s story is so much more than an account of her suffering. Far from it. The State of Me explores the loneliness and chaos of one of the most misunderstood illnesses of our time, but also celebrates the importance of family, friendships, and sexual love. A stunning, eloquent and linguistically perfect debut novel.

Autobiography of a Geisha by Sayo Masuda

Sayo Masuda’s story is an extraordinary portrait of rural life in japan and an illuminating contrast to the fictionalised lives of glamorous geishas.

At the age of sis Masuda’s poverty-stricken family sent her to work as a nursemaid. At the age of twelve, she was indentured to a geisha house. In Autobiography of a Geisha, Masuda chronicles a harsh world in which young women faced the realities of sex for sale and were deprived of their freedom and identity. She also tells of her life after leaving the geisha house, painting a vivid panorama of the grinding poverty of rural life in wartime Japan.

Many years later Masuda decides to tell her story. Although she could barely read or write she was determine to tell the truth about life as a geisha and explode the myths surrounding their secret world. Remarkably frank and incredibly moving, this is the record of one woman’s survival on the margins of Japanese society.

Geisha: The Secret History of a Vanishing World by Lesley Downer

Ever since Westerners arrived in Japan, we have been intrigued by geisha. This fascination has spawned a wealth of fictional creations from Madame Butterfly to Arthur Golden’s Memoirs of a Geisha. The reality of the geisha’s existence has rarely been described. Contrary to popular opinion, geisha are not prostitutes but literally arts people. Their accomplishments might include singing, dancing or playing a musical instrument but, above all, they are masters of the art of conversation, soothing worries of highly paid businessmen who can afford their attentions. The real secret history of the geisha is explored here.

A Night Out with Robert Burns Arranged by Andrew O’Hagan

January 25, 2009, marks the 250th anniversary of Burns’s birth. It will be a huge event around the world, not least across Canada. And we have the book!

Robert Burns (1759-1796) is part of your life. If you’ve ever given or received a romantic red rose, or talked about a “do or die” situation, or if you’ve sung “Auld Lang Syne,” you’re included.

Others celebrate this ploughman poet with an eye for “the lasses” more directly. Every year, literally hundreds of thousands of Canadians, from coast to coast, go to Burns Suppers in January to celebrate his life. This year —2009 — will be the biggest ever, since it’s a 250th celebration of his birth.

CBC TV is joining with the BBC to produce three one-hour programmes on his life, all written and hosted by Andrew O’Hagan, who is now the authority on Burns. This is because this book, published by Canongate in 2008, has already become a classic, bringing Burns to ordinary readers. Because Burns was on the right side of history, against privilege and rank and for everyone getting a fair chance, he is beloved around the world — in Andrew O’Hagan’s words, he is “the world’s greatest and most loveable poet.”

The Moonstone by Wilkie Collins

Bequeathed a rare diamond by her late uncle, heiress Rachel Verinder has no idea it was stolen from an Indian temple or that it has a cursed history. When the diamond disappears on her eighteenth birthday, multiple suspects – including Rachel’s suitor, Franklin Blake – are implicated in its theft. Determined to prove his innocence, Franklin begins his own investigation. Did one of his fellow Englishmen steal the jewel? Or was it whisked back to India? The case, which unfolds through multiple narratives, takes startling twists and turns in pursuit of the truth.

Widely considered the first great detective novel written in English, The Moonstone is one of Wilkie Collins’s most famous works.

Dead Witch Walking (The Hollows Series) by Kim Harrison

Rachel Morgan lives in a world where a bioengineered virus wiped out most of the world’s human population – exposing the existence of supernatural communities that had long lived alongside humanity. It’s her job as a white witch working for Inderland Security to protect the humans from things that go bump in the night.

For the last five years Rachel has been tracking down lawbreaking Inderlanders in modern-day Cincinnati, but now she wants to leave and start her own agency. Her only problem: no one quits the I.S.

Marked for death, Rachel will have to fend off fairy assassins and homicidal werewolves armed to the teeth with deadly curses.

Unless she can appease her former employers by exposing the city’s most prominent citizen as a drug lord, she might just be a dead witch walking.

The Last Orphans (The Last orphans series) by N W Harris

One horrifying day will change the life of sixteen-year-old Shane Tucker and every other kid in the world.

In a span of mere hours, the entire adult population is decimated, leaving their children behind to fend for themselves and deal with the horrific aftermath of the freak occurrence. As one of the newly made elders in his small town, Shane finds himself taking on the role of caretaker for a large group of juvenile survivors. One who just happens to be Kelly Douglas—an out-of-his-league classmate—who, on any other day, would have never given Shane a second glance.

Together, they begin their quest to find out why all of the adults were slaughtered. What they find is even more horrifying than anything they could have expected—the annihilation of the adults was only the beginning. Shane and his friends are not the unlucky survivors left to inherit this new, messed-up planet. No, they are its next victims. There is an unknown power out there, and it won’t stop until every person in the world is dead.

A spine-tingling adventure that will have you gasping for breath all the way until the last page, The Last Orphans is the first book in an all-new apocalyptic series.

The Breakers Series by Edward W Robertson

In the Breakers series, humanity faces not one apocalypse, but two: first a lethal pandemic, then a war against those who made the virus. This collection includes the first three books and is over 1000 pages (350,000 words) of post-apocalyptic survival.

BREAKERS (Book 1) In New York, Walt Lawson is about to lose his girlfriend Vanessa. In Los Angeles, Raymond and Mia James are about to lose their house. Within days, none of it will matter. A plague tears across the world, reducing New York to an open grave and LA to a chaotic wilderness of violence and fires. Civilization comes to an abrupt stop.

Just as the survivors begin to adapt to the aftermath, Walt learns the virus that ended humanity wasn’t created by humans. It was inflicted from outside. The colonists who sent it are ready to finish the job–and Earth’s survivors may be too few and too weak to resist.

MELT DOWN (Book 2) In upstate Idaho, Ness Hook is run out of his mom’s house by his bullying brother Shawn. In Redding, California, Tristan Carter is graduating college, but with no job and no prospects, she’ll have to move back in with her parents.

Then the world ends: first with a virus, then with an alien invasion.

Ness and Shawn take to the mountains to fight a guerrilla against the attackers. In California, Tristan and Alden are taken prisoner. Separated from her brother, Tristan crosses the ruins of America to track him down. She will stop at nothing to get Alden back–but her fellow survivors prove even more dangerous than the monsters who broke the world.

KNIFEPOINT (Book 3) Raina was just a girl when the plague came. She survived. Her parents didn’t. Neither did the world. As civilization fell, she took to the ruins of Los Angeles, eating whatever she could catch.

After two years alone, she’s found and adopted by a fisherman and his wife. Their makeshift family lives a quiet life–until a man named Karslaw sails in from Catalina Island with an army of conquerors. Driven by visions of empire, he executes Raina’s new father as a traitor and takes her mother captive.

But Karslaw’s people aren’t the only ones vying for control of the ruined land. As violence wracks the city, Raina joins a rebellion against Karslaw’s rule. She will stop at nothing to free her mother–and to have her revenge.

Wrong Number, Wright Guy (Bourbon Street Boys Series) by Elle Casey

When a mysterious text message summons May Wexler to a biker bar in downtown New Orleans, she knows something is very wrong. Her sister has sent out an SOS, but when May gets there, she’s nowhere to be found and May is the one in trouble—she’s wearing pink espadrilles, she’s got a Chihuahua in her purse, and she’s in the middle of a shootout.

After tall, muscular Ozzie comes to her rescue, May has no choice but to follow him to safety. At the headquarters of his private security firm, the Bourbon Street Boys, she finds a refuge for the night—and the offer of a job. But it’s not long before a gun-toting stalker isn’t the only complication in May’s life: the more time she spends with Ozzie, the less she can deny that they’ve got some serious chemistry. A wrong number got her into this mess…Will it also get her the right guy?

#JustForFun #Top Ten Tuesday #TopTenTuesday #TTT

[subetei-noykin]

I Am Livid

So, I've been off XIV for a few days, RL's been rough, etc etc, blah blah blah. Life happens, we all get it. To be honest though, the thing draining my muse lately has been something very personal that has today boiled over in the absolute worst of ways.

I'm going to be losing my veneer of reasonability and friendliness here. I promise you, how I am about to sound is not how I normally react but this is a situation I hope and trust people can understand, perhaps relate to. If you want to avoid drama and want to keep out of a personal rant, please avoid reading past the cut. 

@tarot-dancer​ (aka Neyuki)  is my RP partner, best friend and girlfriend of roughly 9 years at this point, perhaps 10. It's been a long time. I know her, I love her, I have seen what an amazing person she is. How anxious she is to play her character and just be left alone, how sweet she is and how open to the community she has been. She's not just an amazing person though, but everything I do? All my writing skills, my talent for creation and development of stories? I learned it from her. She has notepads where she writes ideas down, she frets over every little detail and inspiration she had. She has a love for roleplaying and creating that is nearly boundless.

Except lately.

As some of you may know, or may not considering her private stance over it, Neyuki has been recieving anon hate. It has been going on for a period of likely at least a month, longer perhaps, but even to me she is reluctant to go into full details because this is absolutely -mortifying- for her. The anon hate, in summary, alleges the following;

Neyuki is a character who is 'fake' and 'stolen' because of her design elements

Neyuki's player, my BEST FRIEND and LOVE OF MY LIFE, is scum, worthless, uncreative, a hack, etc, because of these 'stolen'/'fake' elements.

Neyuki's player, once again my best friend and love of my life, should completely abandon Tumblr and the XIV community, because this anon doesn't think they should be on it. Or die.

Yes. Wishing death has been involved.

The elements Neyuki has been accused of stealing are her dancer-like clothing and design choices and her off-model horn colors. To be specific, she uses lighter Thavnair inspired design clothing because Neyuki is canonically from Thavnair. Her off-model horn colors are a prismatic/opalescent color. This anon feels Neyuki stole both these and other elements from her.

So Neyuki has taken these anon hate blows as best she can. Trying to figure out who would accuse her of such a thing and then send her such vitriolic messages instead of speaking with her like a sane, reasonable individual. She's endured and tried to move on, but it hurts her. It has been emotionally and creatively devastating to her and I've -watched- her. Watched her slip further and further from a community she loves being a part of and further from a character she immensely enjoyed, that she poured heart and soul into.

I'm going to state, for the record, that Neyuki has a -fairly- good idea of who this anon is, but because we cannot prove it aside from a circumstantial trail and some evidence that may-or-may-not be definitive, I'm not going to name names here. I will say that Neyuki has spoken to others in this community who have confirmed this person has caused issues before, but again, without proof I will not directly call them out. Why? Because in this community, even if I'm -dead on-, without literally their name signed on this anon hate and screenshots of every interaction (and hell, -with- that kind of evidence), someone will turn this around on Neyuki to drag her even more through the mud.

Fast-forward to last night. Neyuki is trying her damndest to get over this and sends a nice, polite message to a fellow user on tumblr. Name omitted because this isn't their drama. This person reblogs the ask Neyuki sends and as soon as they do, THEY recieve hateful messages. For even posting a message Neyuki sent them on their dash, they were now the victim of this person's misdirected bullshit.

To say Neyuki is hurt is an understatement. To say she's devastated is much, much closer to being true but that doesn't even cover it. Neyuki now feels like she can't even participate in the Tumblr community without this person hounding them. Stalking their friends and associates, bringign their hate and bitterness to bear on anyone she dared associate with publically. It's pushed her to the point she's seriously considering leaving the community and XIV in general.

So why am I posting this? Because as a rule I don't care about my public image on Tumblr. I don't care that by posting this I'm opening myself up for attacks and hate and once I post this, I'll return to my position of refusing to post drama or personal junk unless I feel it's necessary. What I care about is that someone close to me is suffering so deeply that she is considering abandoning something she absolutely loves and enjoys doing.

Because of a coward.

I won't defend Neyuki's design choices or inspirations here, because I don't feel these baseless accusations from such a hateful coward -warrant- defense. The character Neyuki Utaura has design elements inspired by real life aesthetic, her cultural background and what her player liked. Prismatic, different or pearlescent horns are not so special as to scream 'stolen' the moment someone has them. So jumping to the conclusion that someone knows about, much less cares about, a character's design choices enough to out and out steal them is an act of SUPREME ARROGANCE on the part of this hateful, disgusting coward.

What I will defend is Neyuki. Who has never held herself to anything but the highest standards when it comes to her roleplaying and creative choices. Who is the mother of my child and an amazing, warm person who puts faith, trust and love in others because she genuinely wants to enjoy her time in this community. I have never seen her do a single thing I would consider wrong, or theft, or anything but working her character concept to new places on her own experience. I have never seen her steal, never seen her follow a blog and suddenly change her character, we've never discussed how she likes x from y and wants it on Neyuki. What I have seen her do is have an idea, find someone else popular has that same idea and shyly decide to drop the idea rather than risk THIS. EXACT. SITUATION.

My final word on the matter is this.

I don't expect anyone to care. Or come forward about this, to apologie or to try and back themselves up with some kind of proof. I don't even expect anyone to take this as seriously as I do, because they can't SEE the physical and mental effects. They can't see how heartbreaking it is. They don't know. What Iwant is to remind everyone to consider the human on the other side of the fucking computer before you do things like this. Defend yourself, protect your ideas if you feel they're being stolen, but have the fucking stomach and maturity to handle it directly instead of hiding and tearing someone down in a way they can't defend.

And to you.

The person behind this. If you happen to read this. If you happen to have taken the time out of your undoubtedly busy day of stalking someone I care about and tearing them apart for the sake of your own bloated, selfish egotism.

You are disgusting. The words arrogant, self-involved or even paranoid float by, but do you no justice. What you are is a psychotic, cowardly narcissist. You have attacked, belittled, stalked and threatened, WISHED DEATH UPON, another human being for the supposed 'crimes' of their character reminding you of elements of your own. If you were so confident of your case and evidence, you would present it and directly confront Neyuki, but you do not because you have nothing.

ARE. Nothing.

I have my suspicions who you are. And you've already slipped up and played your hand to people who know and are friends with Neyuki. One day you'll push the boundary just a little too far and give me just the last bit of evidence I need to drop this tidal wave of bullshit on your lap where it belongs. All the anons, the death threat, the 'please don't draw this character' snide shots to artists, the attacks and stalking, I'll pile it directly on your head where it belongs and on that day I really hope your toxic little ass has friends to support and comfort you. Because you will find no mercy in myself and those who care about Neyuki, no 'all is forgiven' after the inevitable half-assed apology you'll squeeze out to save face and no amount of victim playing or whining will make me think better of you. I have no pity on your obvious shortcomings and emotional instability, no tolerance for whatever you'll try to hide behind.

You are, in my eyes, nothing more than scum that has hurt the woman I love. I hope one day I get to return the favor unto you.

[anyway-i-love-vanderwood]

Vanderweek Day 1

✿ Iiiiiiit’s Vanderweek! For day one, I’ve written out my HEAVILY headcannoned version of my Vanderwood’s backstory. Warning for mentions of dysphoria, harassment, bullying, child abuse, and some slurs.

I hope you enjoy! 

Throughout Mary Vanderwood the III’s life, they had discarded names, pronouns, and titles like most people discarded empty pens or splintered pencils.

On a hazy, smoke-covered morning at approximately 5:45am, the name ‘Oliver Poppins’ was written on a birth certificate, and an exhausted woman – so very young, too young to be a mother – was driven home by her similarly too-young, not-yet husband. The newborn cradled in her arms was a pudgy thing, oddly shaped as most babies are, with a frizz of blond hair and squinty eyes whose color reminded her of molten caramel. When she looked into his face for the first time, she knew she loved her child. She knew that nothing would ever keeping her from loving that child.

Unfortunately, the heart is weak and prone to wandering, and by the time Oliver was five, time had made a liar out of her. He was no longer a darling boy, but instead became a little brat.

[the rest is under the read more!]an

It’s hard to say that it was her fault, given that she spent too much time working in a small, dingy little shop that sold cigarettes, cigars, pipes and tobacco, and when she came home, she spent too much time cooking for a man who never had much nice to say about anything. Perhaps it’d be hard to say it was her husband’s fault too, given that he’d grown up in a small, dingy little apartment in Birmingham, he lived in a small, dingy little apartment in Birmingham, and it was likely that he’d die in a small, dingy little apartment in Birmingham. Such a life had a way of withering the soul, but neither was it little Oliver’s fault, for he’d never chosen to be born out of wedlock as an accidental child to a couple that was far too poor to afford anything of note for him.

Despite being the most innocent of the three, it was Oliver was the one who bore the brunt of his parents combined dissatisfaction and so acquired the title of burden.

Starting school was simultaneously a source of relief and of eternal torment, as young Oliver was finally given a way to escape his home and the ire of his parents… only to earn the ire and condescension of his peers.

By the time he was in his third year, he felt he’d heard it all. Rat-boy. Idiot. Scabby-knees, smelly-breath, ugly, dirty, filthy, gross, unwanted. The only thing he was fond of was, oddly enough, when the boys in his class jeered and called him Mary Poppins. He went home that day and asked who that was, and his mother – her exhaustion giving way to a rare moment of tender care – showed Oliver what soon became his favorite movie.

It caused him to dream. He wished he lived in that well-to-do house, wished he was rich and happy and had a cool magic nanny who floated down from the sky using an enchanted umbrella. (In his fourth year, he was sent to the hospital for trying to be that cool magic nanny with an enchanted umbrella and, instead, fell flat on his face and broke his collarbone.)

Oliver Poppins was hit for that, and he never tried to dream again.

As he grew, his hair darkened into a deep brown, his expression darkened into a sullen frown, and his skin darkened with a smattering of ugly bruises. When pressed, he told the school councilor he was just a clumsy person, and that they were all accidental. The school councilor believed him, because it was much easier than the alternative, and everyone else gossiped about how he lived in a storeroom and his parents beat him senseless.

This wasn’t entirely off-the-mark, as the entirety of the Poppins apartment was, quite frankly, a storeroom. Mr. Poppins couldn’t bear to throw anything away, so the small space was made even more small by piles of junk and towering refuse. Nothing could be cleaned, nothing could be thrown away, and Oliver Poppins had long ago forgotten what color the walls were, what material the floors were made of.

Perhaps he never knew. Perhaps, to him, it was always soot and paper.

Perhaps to him, the world was always dark and grey.

In his tenth year of school, Oliver tried putting on make-up for the first time.

It was rebellion in its purest, simplest form. Everything around him was filthy, vile. It felt like the dirt had burrowed into his skin, like the hate had clawed its way into the very core of his essence, and in his desperation to tear it all off, to feel something other than vile, he sought out things that were supposed to be beautiful. He skipped class to put on stolen foundation and lipstick in the school’s bathroom, and when the boys who came into the bathroom to smoke found him with shadow on his eyelids and blush on his cheeks, they started calling him queer. Trannie. Shemale.

Maybe I am, he thought to himself as he covered his bruises with smooth paste. Maybe they should have put that on my birth certificate instead, because it’s not like anyone calls me Oliver very much.

Girls are prettier, anyway. Maybe I’d be happier if I was one of those.

After her eleventh year of school, that teenager who wasn’t really sure what or who he was decided to drop out of school to disappear. It wasn’t that she hated school itself – far from it. He was a very clever girl, and raised in different circumstances, she could have become a well-regarded adult. But no one cared about him, so she cared about no one else, and he thought it’d be better if her existence was erased once and for all.

That was, in fact, what ended up happening, though not really in the way that he expected.

Every day, Oliver walked home alone from school, but on a cloudy afternoon in April, her walk was interrupted by an array of bullies. Except, at that point in her life, the people who bullied Oliver Poppins were very big, very strong, and very hateful of boys who wanted to be anything like girls. It was the sort of encounter that could have easily lead to more than just some bruises and a scraped knee.

Except, Oliver Poppins didn’t care anymore, and when someone is that pissed off and that furious at the world, they become a very inconvenient opponent. Despite being outnumbered and outclassed, she held her fucking own, and tore red into their faces with his sharp, prettily painted nails. Fuck them, she thought to herself. Fuck them all.

Fuck everyone on this god-damned earth.

The conflict left her scathed but, ultimately, alright, and she found an alley to sulk in and light up a cigarette.

That was where he found her.

Like Oliver, he wasn’t the sort of person who hadn’t much of a name, and to Oliver, he gave her a chance to discard hers. He’d been watching her, he said, watching her performance in school, her instances of petty theft, and he’d watched her conflict with the group of bullies, too. She was an interesting child. Desperate, homeless, yet very bright, very clever. Furious and fervent – it’d be a shame if someone like that withered away, wouldn’t it? If someone like that died in a small apartment in Birmingham, with nothing to show for their life but sorrow and a heart full of regrets?

Wouldn’t it be a complete shame if he died as miserable, pathetic little Oliver Poppins?

Oliver agreed, and desperate enough to follow a stranger into the dark, he became Codename: Vanderwood.

The Agency sought to recruit people with no attachment to their former lives. It made it so much easier for them to be tools rather than people, after all. They could become anyone, be anything, because they had started off in this world as nothing. They were moldable, shapeable, transformable.

Vanderwood was remade into a secret agent, and for once in their life, everything could be as pretty and orderly and clean as they wanted.

Beyond her desire to scour the remnants of filth and pestilence off his flesh, Vanderwood had no idea what she wanted to be. A boy? A girl? A cruel person? A kind person? An intelligent person? A strong person? A cheerful person? A sad person? Vanderwood took on so many roles, so many identities as she worked that, in the end, his entire personality and sense of being became an amorphous blob. Agent Vanderwood simultaneously meant nothing and everything, and in the end, they decided, fuck it.

A shadow like them couldn’t be labeled or named. They just were. Boundless, formless, completely without grounding or attachment. Their identity was wholly at the discretion of the Agency, and they contented themselves with being a knife wielded by the shadowy figures who hid behind the curtain of society.

At least – that’s how it was, until Vanderwood met Agent Zero-Seven.

They were assigned to be his handler, and from the first time they looked into Zero-Seven’s eyes, they understood that this was a creature with origins similar to Vanderwood’s own. Zero-Seven was a stern boy, sullen, with a personality that fit the numerical designation the Agency had given him. Zero-Seven never spoke of his family, but he didn’t have to, really. It was clear in his eyes, in his posture… He had, like Vanderwood, been raised in a cage.

He had, like Vanderwood, been forced out of his old identity by the brutality of the world.

Maybe Vanderwood felt bad for him. Maybe that’s why they tried to pull him out of his shell a little bit, joke with him some, make snide comments about terribly dressed people on the street and the stupid marks that they were assigned to eliminate. Maybe that’s why they, for once – without really knowing what they were doing – sought to label themselves as something: Zero-Seven’s friend. Maybe that’s why they tried to keep him from working himself to death, maybe that’s why they forced this Korean boy to watch movies from their childhood and laugh a little.

Maybe that’s why, when they found an old copy of Mary Poppins in a bargain bin, they brought it to his apartment, popped it in, and made him experience one of the few glimmers of hope from their childhood. And maybe that’s why, when Zero-Seven pointed at the screen and said, “Oh my god, she’s just like you!”, they laughed and said that perhaps their full name should be Mary Vanderwood.

Maybe that’s why, when Seven finally started to laugh, and joke, and play, they allowed him to append the Third to their ridiculous, ridiculous name. A true British agent needed a posh sounding name, he said! And the pretentious, uppity personage called Vanderwood needed a pretentious, uppity name to match.

Throughout Mary Vanderwood the III’s life, they had discarded names, pronouns, and titles like most people discarded empty pens or splintered pencils. Nothing mattered to them, everything was transient, and the only thing that they defined themselves with was the iron rule of the Agency that they owed everything to. But Zero-Seven – who was ridiculous, stupid, idiotic, yet somehow precious enough that they desperately didn’t want him to suffer – made a mark on their life that stuck, despite everything.

Despite everything, there was one person in the world who said their name with a smile, and Mary Vanderwood the III’s life began in that moment.

[shannon04900-blog]

Good Manners A Hands-on From Rules In Good Culture By E Winchester Elijah Winchester Donald.

Really good oils are actually the oils that your body system necessities and that assist your physical body, lesser lousy cholesterol (LDL), lessen plaque in your veins, and boost center health and wellness. Within this instance the writer is actually corresponding the personality from a car along with the character from individuals who created the vehicle. When you have just about any queries about in which as well as how you can use Learn Additional, you can email us in the internet site. But I am actually extremely aware from the fact that previous authorities have actually promoted people to purchase diesel-powered cars as well as we need to have that in to profile when our company're considering just what our company carry out in the future," the head of state mentioned. The Vehicle Personal Computer advanced right into Windows CE for Automotive in 2000, changing label to Microsoft Vehicle just before being officially renamed Microsoft window Embedded Automotive (WEA) in 2010. 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