#is it like donut king??

[carlos-tk]

okay i’ll bite 👀 what’s a dunkin donuts

[tomnookishot]

i’m so excited for adult swim hatoful boyfriend show im gonna shit my pants

[donut-entendre]

Heyyy just a reminder that saying Tucker's first name is lame is racist as hell. And also it's literally a cool name fuck you

[allylikethecat]

atkh soon come??

Ahhh thank you for sending me this ask I was low key kind of thinking maybe no one would notice if the update was suuupppper late (and by that I mean hopefully tomorrow).

The original plan had been to finish up the chapter yesterday. BUT THEN I managed to give myself a mild case of heatstroke / sun poisoning at the barn yesterday (yay summer) and basically spent most of the day laying on my cold tile floor with my work laptop wishing I was anywhere else. I went to bed at 6:30pm that's how bad it was. And then so today I was playing catch up on all the work stuff I didn't really do yesterday because I was laying on the cold floor wishing I had remembered to drink Gatorade. Which means I have not even looked at the chapter since earlier in the week and it is in fact not finished 😞 BUT I'm actually finally starting to actually feel better (yay!) and the plan is to finish it tomorrow - hopefully before the Oilers / Panthers game. I'm so sorry for the delay, and thank you so much for checking in about the update. I'm so grateful that you're enjoying ATKH and hope you continue to do so. I hope your Friday is going better than mine and that you have a wonderful weekend!!

❤️Ally

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Harrison, he mouths to himself in the mirror. The bathroom is filmy or maybe it’s him—he’s in chrysalis, bloated in his own becoming or suffocation or whatever the fuck. The thing is, he doesn’t need a god and might be a king, but he’s also a man with a pounding headache. He tries again, his mouth shifty like cornmeal, like ash: Harrison. What do kings do when they get migraines? Buy a donut? Eat a saint? His eye sockets are vacant, his cuticles spinning into one another, hair sentient from the pool. Harrison. The walls smell like Jeremiah’s hair gel, Jeremiah’s fingerprints, Jeremiah’s latest cologne. In a minute, the paint could start peeling and Harrison could pick up the chips, tack them to his jaw like they’re gold stars or little HELLO my name is stickers. HELLO my name is, HELLO my name is, HELLO my name is. Harrison. Harrison. Harrison. He kneads his cheeks like he’s sourdough, pinches his eyebrows, goes: Harrison, sticks his fist in his mouth, tries again—Harrison. Jeremiah knocks on the door, says something about leaving soon, a friend waiting on them.

if u were a king and u had a migraine would u buy a donut harrison wants to know

[kaiba-cave]

Saw a tiktok that was like “I need a Canadian to explain to me why I went to Tim Hortons once, didn’t like it, and have been back every day for the past six days”.

It’s just like that. 😔 Pretty much anywhere else has better coffee/food/baked goods/basically everything but Tim Hortons will still have a drive thru line up out to the road every single morning and probably around noon too.

It’s like it gets into your bloodstream and you’re just compelled to go there all the time even though it’s not even good.

(It probably also helps that they are everywhere lmao. Like you’ll drive by ten different Tim’s before getting to a McDonald’s or Starbucks.)

[oorevitcejda]

i wish toh was one of those shows that went on for like 10 years and spawnned hundreds of aus and are ala adventure time and ppl made their own witchesonas/demonsonas and palisman bc ive only seen a little bit of au-ifying and loved every bit, but theres not like... a whole bunch

[officialralsei]

Ralsei have you roasted marshmallows before?

Oh, I have done that! It was fun. Um, I burnt them a little bit... but once I figured out how to avoid doing that, the marshmallows that I toasted afterwards were very yummy! They were sticky, though...

[autistickaitovocaloid]

Does anyone know any good coffee chains that make affronts to coffee in drink form??? You can't say starbucks because we don't have them in my state and I'd rather die than set foot in one by myself.

[mizzmellos]

Headcanon if Light did that fanfic ass thing where he measured his dick length by stacking donuts on it L would have a seizure

NOOOOO didn't this happen in that one super popular Lawlight VN game that was everywhere back in the day??? <- just remembered this existed and only gave it a cursory browse I think it was called Bound Prince or something???

[my-wildflwr]

i am a true believer in the whole the less you look for something the easier it will come to you cause theres just no way that i’ve gotten some very rare merch thrift shopping/as a gift/on a random place

[hemi-demi-semiquaver]

had the best bombest mind boggling donut today in shimokitazawa and the area was full of hipster ass cafes etc so i thot it wouldve been ass but we went in bc.nvm anyway it was a CHICKEN AND BASIL donut and lawd haf mercy that guy put he whole pussy into it even saw him use a BLOW TORCH on that shit he fuck that up nice. had it with a ginger ale

THEN he gave us each a free donut. he was talking fast so i dont understand why maybe they were closing soon iono. the chicken n basil had basil baked into the donut n some sort of green basil butter type shit with slices of chicken n melted cheese hence the torch .....made me see god

[orteil42]

hi :3 whats your opinion on beignets and king cakes? as a louisianian i feel it my personal duty to find out the funny cookie man's opinions on our local delicacies.

(i'll be adding pictures because i love food!)

beignets are of french origin and very popular where i'm from! i've often had them at school fairs, in which case they're prepared similarly to funnel cake, but they're also a typical beach snack, where they're closer to jam-filled donuts! big fan of both tho especially nostalgic for the former!

because most countries have their own variations of fried dough, i feel the need to mention that here in the netherlands we also have oliebollen, usually sold in stalls around christmas. the usual filling if any is raisins, tho i had some with kitkat filling last week (really good)

king cake similarly traces its origins to a french tradition though it seems very different from ours! i've never had it but i love love love the pretty colors you guys put on it... mesmerizing...

its french equivalent is galette des rois, which is flaky and filled with almond paste! both my family and my schools would have them in january so i've eaten so many of these as a kid

where louisianians put a little baby in king cake, we hide a small porcelain trinket in galette des rois called a "fève" and whoever finds it in their slice of cake gets to wear the paper crown that came with it! traditionally the fève is a religious figure but can be just about anything these days! when i was a kid i bit into one representing Sylvester from Looney Tunes. it looked like this:

[chaos0pikachu]

word of honor is a comfort show specifically for scenes like when Cheng Ling the accidently adopted child of two mass murderers gets kidnapped by Soft Butch Assassin and her girlfriend High Femme Assassin for a piece of the glazed donut when Zhou Zi Shu shows up like "UNHAND MY CHILD!!" And CL is all "omg I'm your son 🥺🥺" and ZZS is like "I suddenly can't read I don't know mariah carey.gif" meanwhile our lesbian assassins are like "god people have no respect for torture time anymore" and they all have a swirly twirly fight b/c everyone is dressed to the NINES b/c if you're gonna be a murderer in a wuxia show you are also gonna look PEAK FABULOUS thank you very fucking much and then ZZS is like "oh no my nipple nails of cancer are acting up" and whenever his nipples are aching who shows up but Wen Ke Xing busting through the door like the koolaid man with the energy of a queen lip syncing for her life on Rupaul all "HOW DARE YOU HARM MY HUSBAND AND OUR CHILD" and ZZS is like "he's not our child!!" and another swirly twirly fight happens and the lesbians dip so our marital arts family chases them outside only to be confronted by ZOMBIES or crackheads whichever and WKX is like "husband, take our child and run" and ZZS is obviously not gonna do that cause like both a feral cat & a millennial he's always Down to Fight and also lacks general self-preservation so WKX is like "dying alongside you is also a beautiful way to die" meanwhile CL in the back wondering if they could all just not die like he didn't stick a piece of the glazed donut in his stomach and hang out with his boring, beige, busted uncles for 2 weeks just get eaten train to busan style the fuck

and then Scorpion King (not the rock) floats down from the sky in slow mo like a Jrock act floating down onto the stage playing his little guitar like "HELLOOOOOOOO ANCIENT CHINA!! HOW WE FEELING TONIGHT?" and ZZS is like "not a fucking band kid" so he throws smoke bombs naruto style and they all dip

and in the end of all~~~ of this CL is like "so I'm your son right?" and ZZS is like, "fuck it, fine" and signs the adoption papers while wwx is like planning an autumn wedding

[sleepyjuice]

jj + acts of service ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

-jj who does your routine car maintenance for you, most of the time without you realizing. “jay, i forgot to tell you, my oil light is on.” you’d tell him, hopping into your drivers seat. “i know, baby, already took care of it.”

-jj who gives you a back massage every time you get home from work. waitressing ain’t easy on the body! he is eager to help ease your discomfort in any way he can. more times than not, the massage leads to more, which you both love.

-jj who has your water bottle full of ice and cold water (just how you like it) and advil ready for you to have after a night out. “gotta stay hydrated, pretty girl.” he’d tell you, knowing how bad your hangovers got. he can’t have you suffering all day!

-jj who makes you a Spotify playlist full of some of his favorite songs, your favorites, some cute love songs that he resonates with, plus of course some sexy songs too. sexy bitch - david guetta (ft akon), sex on fire - kings of leon, smack that - akon (ft eminem) and candy shop - 50 cent (ft olivia) just to name a few!

-jj who carries you to bed when you fall asleep on the couch or outside in the hammock, being extra careful to not wake you up. you need your beauty sleep! he will also do this when you’re drunk, stumbling and struggling to keep up with the rest of your friends on the walk back to the chateau after a kegger, hoisting you up on his back, not a single complaint leaving his lips. he loves the way you giggle and rest your sleepy head into his neck as he carries you.

-jj who will blow dry your hair for you while you quickly do your makeup for work, running late and on a serious time crunch. he asked you to show him how to do it randomly one day while you were getting ready and he caught on quickly. he loves that he can help you not be so stressed out before a long day at work.

-jj who removes your makeup for you when you’re drunk and too out of it/ tired to do it. you’d insist that it’s fine and you’ll take it off in the morning, but he knows better. he’ll be as gentle as he can, and even wash your face for you afterwards. he has your skincare routine memorized from the countless times he’s sat in the bathroom with you while you’ve done it, so he’ll do that too. “all oiled up like a glazed donut, baby. just how ya like it.” he’d tell you once he finished, helping you brush your teeth before curling up with you in bed.

-jj who has a blunt rolled and ready for you when you texted him telling him you’re having a bad day. he’ll tell you to come over and he’ll sit you on his lap as you pass the blunt back and forth. you’ll eventually go from venting to giggling to making out and finally into the bedroom where he really makes you feel better.

jj loves that he feels needed when he’s with you. he feels like you give him a purpose. stuff that may seem small to other people are a big deal for him. you are so good to him, all he wants is to be able to return the favor in any way that he can.

[aethelflaedladyofmercia]

One of my big executive function struggles is feeding myself.

I live alone (apart from the cat). I lose track of time when I’m involved in a project, and I don’t feel hungry so much as tired a lot of the time, which tends to lead to the wrong solution.

I hate taking five minutes to make myself food. If I have energy, it feels like I’m wasting time that could be spent writing or researching or whatever. And if I don’t have energy… FUCK. Even peeling a banana is beyond me.

When I drove to work, pre-pandemic, this often meant Dunkin’ Donuts for breakfast, Burger King for dinner, maybe head over to the bakery for a sandwich at lunch. I’d try not to do all three on the same day, but… I never had the patience to make food.

But now I work from home in the suburbs. There’s not a lot of places in easy driving distance, and only a few of them deliver. Food I get through Uber Eats or Grub Hub arrives cold. Always. I’m signed up to one of those weekly meal delivery services but they keep raising the prices and now I’m down to 4 meals a week.

I’m not asking for money, btw. I can afford to feed myself, I just don’t have the energy.

Now, in today’s society, this is considered lazy. Inefficient. How many times have we seen people saying working class people waste their money on fast food, and don’t they realize it’s cheaper to buy and cook healthy fresh foods? And you can say over and over again about the cost of exhaustion, but there’s still this sense of “no, you should be able to do this, just like everyone always has, this generation is just lazy…”

Not just from other people. Got that voice in my head, too.

And whenever it starts to get abusively loud, I just remind myself:

Working class apartments in Ancient Rome didn’t have kitchens. Apartment blocks (insulae) had shops on the ground floor, especially bakeries and places that sold quick hot food you could eat on your way to work, maybe with a few seats along a bar where you could rest for five minutes on your break.

Not just a few. These were goddamn EVERYWHERE.

We’ve known for two thousand years that people who work all day don’t have the energy or resources to cook for themselves. Longer, because Rome didn’t invent this, it’s just well-known there cuz Rome.

Anyway. I think if as a society we just accepted that “people don’t have the energy to cook but still need healthy food” is a real and valid issue, we could find some affordable fucking solutions. And step one is to stop blaming people (and ourselves) for not having that energy.