#is it funny to anyone else?
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quibbs126 · 4 days ago
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I had this thought the other day of the Matrix of Leadership basically acting like a magic 8-ball, with the other side being Primus himself or the Thirteen, depends on the continuity
I’ve been meaning to draw it out, I just haven’t gotten around to it
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direpunk · 8 months ago
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filming friends
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frownyalfred · 2 months ago
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bitchy superbat friendship but it’s just Clark flying up and interrupting whatever borderline suicidal coping mechanism Bruce thought up this week and going “really? [coping mechanism]?” and Bruce goes “some of us can’t go sulk on the moon whenever we’re having a bad day” and Clark is 1) horrified that Bruce knows about that and 2) instantly distracted by the sulking accusation. they repeat variations of this conversation until Bruce breaks a bone he actually needs to function (arguable) and Clark offers to fly him home; said offer is rejected immediately so instead he sits in Bruce’s passenger seat and tries not to — you guessed it — sulk. when they’re about to pull into the Cave, Clark sheepishly asks Bruce if him sitting on the moon is disturbing anything important and should he be worried. Bruce turns in his seat and looks at him like this 😐 nothing else is said
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apollos-boyfriend · 1 year ago
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i trust we’re all mature enough now so can i just the say philza ace race incident? genuinely one of the funniest fucking things to ever come out of mcc. it’s up there it’s the mcc7 battle box incident. so many grown adults decided to ignore the actual track signals because of their immutable trust in philza minecraft and i think that’s beautiful
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randomloserlover · 7 months ago
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cobs destroys mephone's objectsonas
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inumbrapugnabimus-maybe · 7 months ago
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Four’s colors: standing there awkwardly
Legend: having a flashback to that one time he killed four colorful and identical dark links in the literal Palace of the Four Sword
Thanks for the request anon!
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xiewho · 1 year ago
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i WILL take any excuse i have to draw the abernant sisters Btw
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lucabyte · 12 days ago
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in my heart of hearts i do truly believe that if mdp is in any way extant postcanon its as one of those hallucinations that they get so used to it just becomes mundane
+bonus
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do you fucking need something
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piratewithvigor · 2 years ago
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Jungle Boy Jack Perry - I Wanna Be Evil
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 6 months ago
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All he knows is flirt with men and lie.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
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gachupons · 1 month ago
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Damon just imagine a puppy and it’s just fucking shitting everywhere and it’s awful and
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unpretty · 21 days ago
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Rare non-kink-taxonomy-hell ask: your description of Sorrowverse Joker as actually good at manipulation and gaslighting, to the point where the act he puts on might sometimes resemble Therapy Joker, has actually made me interested in a version of the Joker. Which has never happened before. Could we hear more about him/this aspect of him? Love your writing btw
what if we had a rare limited-time crossover event
✧・゚: ✧・゚: 🤡:・゚✧:・゚✧
"Helloooooo nurse."
"Don't whistle," she snapped, shutting the door. "I'm doing you a favor," she reminded him.
"I thought you were recognizing that denying me cosmetics had no purpose but to dehumanize me," he said.
"You know what I mean," she said, pushing her glasses higher on her nose. "And I'm not a nurse." She pulled the sparkly pencil case she'd brought from the pocket of her coat to offer it to him.
He did not so much rise from his bed as unfold. A spider of a man, all long spindly limbs in ill-fitting pale pink. With all the green of the rest of him, it made him look floral, a mop of green hair and his eyes pastel. Even the white of his skin had a green tinge on closer inspection. She'd been sure it reminded her of something and had spent hours online trying to find it. She'd decided on a small emerald moth, staring at stock photos of delicate wings almost translucent and trying to remember where she ever could have seen one.
Charming as a bouquet full of insects.
He plucked the bag from her hand and pulled what looked like a butterfly knife from inside. He grinned, and when he did his face seemed to grow twice as long and half of it teeth. Gleaming purple metal spun between long fingers, but when he pointed it at her to watch her recoil, it had the teeth of a comb. He waggled his eyebrows at her before running it through his hair, using both hands and raising his elbows much higher than necessary so his shirt rode up. She pressed her lips together rather than dignify the performance with a response.
His eyebrows were still pristine and had been since he'd been admitted. Precise arches with edges razor-sharp.
Without products to keep it in place, his hair fell back down at an angle from his widow's peak. "Don't pretend I'm not funny, Dr. Quinn," he said, metal twirling between his fingers again.
"Quinzel," she corrected.
"Nurse Harlequin," he said, rummaging through the limited personal effects she'd brought him. It was absurd to refuse anyone these few small comforts. She'd always thought so. It was punitive, the way they denied any dignity to anyone they were meant to be treating.
There but for the grace of God, she thought and tried not to.
"I don't have a mirror," he declared, holding a red vial she was sure could not be blood. He reached out to touch beneath her chin. "Hold still."
"Mr. J," she warned, refusing as she always did to refer to him by the only name they had for him.
"I love it when you call me that," he said with relish, using her glasses as a mirror to apply tint to his lips with a wand. "Say it again, doll."
"If they catch you wearing lipstick—"
"It's stain," he said dismissively. "They can't prove it. For all they know I got this the old-fashioned way, sucking dick in the bathroom again."
"Agai—"
"Excellent work, Harley," he said, and then his lips were on hers. She made a muffled sound of indignation and was careful not to move. He'd done this before, the first time they'd met, when he'd learned her name and had a good laugh about it. She'd slapped him for it then, hadn't protested when they'd put him in isolation for it. "Aw," he said as he pulled away, touching her lower lip. "I know it hadn't dried yet, but it doesn't show on you, does it?"
It was only stain, but his skin was so pale the red popped, his grin grotesque. A caricature of something unwholesome, white as a sheet and a mouth like a minstrel, too dark a thought to trust. It was hard not to think the worst of people, ascribe symbolism to nothing at all, fall into spirals. Enough real dog whistles without her inventing new ones.
"That's unacceptable behavior," she said, "and that's not my name."
"You don't call me by my name," he said, tapping the tip of her nose, "and I don't call you by yours." He dropped the pencil case back into her hands before she realized what he was doing, and she had to scramble to catch it in time. "Besides, you seem like a good ride." He made an exaggerated handlebar-revving gesture with both hands and winked as he stepped away from her. Something Fred Astaire in his footwork when he walked. She was careful to stay where she was, tucking the contraband back into her pocket.
"Do you harass all your doctors this way?" she asked pointedly, fixing her glasses again.
"Aggressively," he confirmed as he fell back into his bed. "The rest of them don't like it as much as you do, naughty girl." He sprawled sideways, propping his head up in a pose that might have been provocative if he'd had a curve anywhere but the jutting bones that slotted his hands into his forearms. "It's why they locked me up for being a deviant," he said with a limp-wristed gesture.
"They locked you up for killing people," she corrected.
"They were rich," he scoffed. "That doesn't count as people." Her nose crinkled, pressing her lips together again rather than do anything he'd interpret as a laugh. "You can tell because they didn't send me to prison."
"They didn't send you to prison because Gotham's justice system is fucked," she said. Arkham was privately owned with a budget inflated by charitable donations. It was inevitable that expensive-looking criminals were judged criminally insane, the worst of their excesses no longer a taxpayer problem.
He cocked his head. "Do I look sane to you?" he asked.
"Sane doesn't look like anything," she said. "We both know you knew what you were doing, and there's no medical intervention that would make you behave differently."
He grinned, too wide, too many teeth. She tilted her head a little, only enough to see around the edge of her glasses and confirm that his mouth blurred. "Yet here you are," he said.
"Rehabilitation isn't the exclusive domain of the medically impaired."
This job had been a nightmare from the beginning. Every day in large and small ways it wore her down, an endless river of bullshit trying to smooth down every part of her that believed in anything. No accountability, barely treatment, shifts too long with coworkers as sick as the patients. Less like doctors with patients and more like researchers with lab rats. Rubber stamps and no rocked boats and no goals greater than the status quo. Cameras easily bypassed by any employee who cared to, for whatever reason struck their whim. Her no better.
She should have done more. Her job shouldn't have been worth more than her principles. She could have done more than this, makeup and candy and burner phones in her pockets. She kept notes and told herself she'd blow the whistle someday. She kept her head down and kept her health insurance and knew herself for a traitor.
"Come closer," he said, gesturing with his fingers.
She was halfway across the room before she thought to stop and ask, "Why?"
He was grinning again. "Because I wanted to see if you would," he said, and at the look on her face he threw his head back to cackle. She pressed her nails into her palms and felt her face burn. "This might sound racist," he began.
"Then don't," she warned.
"No, no, it's not like that, I just—"
"Don't."
"I can't tell if you're blushing!" he said, exasperated. He swung his legs around to sit upright, his knees a mile apart. "That's all I was going to say, honestly. Is that bad? You can tell me if it's bad."
"I would call that an 'inside thought'," she said, still blushing. He cackled again.
"Really, though," he said, crooking his fingers again, "you should come over here."
"Why?" she asked first this time.
"So I can kiss you stupid," he said.
Her face felt hot again. "I'm not doing that."
He rolled his eyes so dramatically it took his whole face with it. "I have to come over there?" he asked rhetorically, gesturing at her. "Come on, now, doll. Give yourself a little agency, here. I'm locked up. You get to leave. That little love tap earlier was fine, there were cameras on, I get it, kind of hot if I'm honest, pretty into that. But I've got limits too, you know. You want me to play the big bad taking advantage, that's fine, I'm into it, but trust's a two-way street. Get over here and make it clear you know what you're here for, yeah? Despite what your bosses think, I'm not actually an animal. I'm not sitting here waiting for pretty girls to maim."
"I don't think that," she said, defensive.
"Naw," he said, "you're just coming in here when you're not supposed to be and standing in grabbing range, waiting for nothing to happen. Get over here or leave, I'm not going anywhere."
She half-turned, looking at the doorknob, but hesitated. She wanted the last word, but didn't have one ready and her throat was dry regardless. She felt sick.
"You're real scared I'm gonna laugh at you, huh?" he asked, and she whipped her head around to stare at him. He was leaning forward, chin on his fist, watching her. The pale shade of his eyes made it more predatory than it otherwise would have been. His smile was a wry gash across his face. "That happen a lot?" he asked, cocking his head. "Men telling you you're pretty as a prank, asking you out to make fun when you believed it?" She scowled, and his smile split into a grin. "Awww. Poor l'il Harley. C'mere, then. You wanna make a show of being vulnerable, be vulnerable. Least you can do, don't you think?"
The worst part was realizing, the moment he said it, that it was the thing she most dreaded. That he'd laugh at her for believing him.
She came close enough to stand between his knees, but couldn't bring herself to make eye contact. She looked at the hole in his ear where they hadn't let him keep his earrings, instead.
"There's a doll," he said, grabbing her wrist and yanking so she'd fall into his lap. She narrowly avoided her knee hitting him somewhere awkward. She was distracted by how bony his thighs felt compared to hers, all his limbs too thin as his arms went around her waist. He kissed beneath her ear, and she thought of his mouth, the wide span of it and all those teeth at her throat. "Doesn't being honest with yourself feel better?" he asked against her skin.
"This is very, very bad," she breathed, her voice shaking. Her own body heat was mortifying. He felt halfway to a corpse.
"Awww, don't be like that," he said, and she could feel him smiling. All those teeth. "What's the worst that could happen?"
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frownyalfred · 7 days ago
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Bruce Wayne fends off inquiries into his physique/muscles by just throwing out the most outlandish boutique fitness class/exercise names until people realize he’s never going to give them a straight answer as to why he looks like Batfleck.
“Where’d you get all bulked up, Bruce?”
“Pilates.”
“You look big man, what’s your routine like?”
“Hot yoga every morning.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“You’re just so broad! You must work out.”
“I do aerial silks every other day, actually. But it’s more of an artistic thing.”
“Your legs are so toned, what’s your secret, Brucie?”
“Bodypump, six days a week. Followed by two hours in the infrared sauna.”
“C’mon, you can’t get those big arms from Pilates, Bruce.”
“That’s Reformer Pilates, thank you very much.”
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megamindvhs · 9 months ago
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seto kaiba - IT GIRL
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stealingpotatoes · 3 months ago
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Mel Medarda
you agree
I DO AGREE!!! I AGREE WHOLEHEARTEDLY!!!! mel makes me go CRAZY both bc her character/story is so incredible and also bc like... those arcane modellers knew what they were doing ok--
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gipsyjr · 11 months ago
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ok please tell me someone also realized this too in FMA
Hohenheim. we all know him. we all love/hate him. bro has HALF A MILLION souls in him in canon. he BEFRIENDED THEM ALL. someone on ao3 referred to it as his unmoderated discord channel and I agree. its practically a twitch chat at that point.
ok but my point is. he has kids. two. two kids. how does one make kids? good o' bedroom action.
THINK ABOUT IT. he did the deed TWICE with over half a million souls watching him. I am speechless. this man. this guy. I can't.
[EDIT: WHERE DID YOU ALL COME FROM??? THANK YOU?!]
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