#is it confusing? at times (especially if you haven't read the book)

[cosmicspark24]

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎ Pick a card time! ⋆｡ﾟ☁︎

☁︎ Collective energies! ☁︎

Hi everyone! It's taken me a fair bit to get this done for you so any shares, likes and comments are appreciated. While reading I found some collective themes you can skip this bit or come back to it if you like it. Collectively there were lots of themes surrounding; new beginnings, new love (lots of romantic offers/new relationships), embracing creativity, investing in yourself, turning pain into power, going after your dreams, mental prisons due to perspective shift being needed, betrayals & travel. I hope you enjoy, I will be keeping these coming in 2025. Please check out my blog if you have a chance and there will be a Youtube channel coming next year. Love ya,

Thando

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Hello Pile 1:

Please remember that this is a collective reading so only take what feels intuitively to be your message. Thank you.

2025, 1st half:

The main theme of the first half of 2025 for you is new beginnings. What a wonderful start to a new year!! I see a few different themes for the people in this pile. We will begin with this theme of work. I feel that some of you have started new jobs, been promoted or are renewing your approach to work. There is an energy here of carefully balancing all the plates in your life, ensuring that you drop not a single one. I see this being something you achieve with relative easy. This does not mean it requires effort. I see some of you being very concerned with the idea of equal give and take. If the company refuses to pay me more, then I reserve the right to do the bare minimum and never agree to their attempts at giving me overtime - type energy. So if you have been thinking about a financial venture and have been feeling like you are not getting as much back as you are receiving, what can you change to facilitate you taking back your own power? I see especially for any masculines or women in their masculine energy/era that making money or juggling the important practical parts of your life is greatly important. I see you putting everything in your power in driving your new beginnings foreward. In that, I see that you are the wind beneath your wings. I am proud of you pile 1. For any masculines in this pile who have been confused about how to proceed with a relationship, I see you making moves towards that. For some of you this is physical travel to the one you love, for others you are taking a metaphorical journey back to your person. This reading is heavily talking about or directed at masculine energies. For women, I see this as you finally receiving clarity from a SP. This is someone you know to already have an interest but it is possible you were being given mixed messages.

2025, 2nd half:

The main theme of the second half of 2025 has to do with either you or a specific person. The theme is showing affection and attention to the one you like. So just take what applies. I feel that any confusion you may have had about a SP were cleared the moment you made the mental decision to stop hiding your own feelings from yourself. I'm seeing the energy of someone writing a message, pressing send, throwing away the phone and hiding under the covers. Then overthinking...well it's all in your head. Remember who the fuck you are in the second half of the year. Remind yourself that anything meant for you will make its way to you with ease. I see also for anyone not in this headspace, that you are focused on yourself. You are focused on treating yourself to whatever you want. You suddenly feel you haven't been socialising enough, and suddenly you have parties booked a few times a month. For the sexual beings, I see you getting yours in the second half of 2025. I see one-night stands, friends with benefits or anything that you like engaging in sexually being done wantonly. I see this self-focus on filling your own cup with dreams pr creativity bringing you immense peace. For those pursuing a SP, your success with this individual will bring you greater peace. Isn't that delicious?

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Hello Pile 2:

Please remember that this is a collective reading so only take what feels intuitively to be your message. Thank you.

2025, 1st half:

The main theme for the first half of 2025 is going to be money/business success. I feel that some of you have fully come into adulthood. I'm getting the feeling of 'my brain just fully developed'. The energy of this pile is that of someone who balances their maturity with their inner child needs. I see possibly a new job or a new business venture which came up as well for the previous pile. This new start can cause some confusion or introspection depending on the individual. I sense that you are scared of new beginnings or are used to doing things one sort of way but life has ushered you upon a new path. I see that the answers are within you, but you are too frightened to fully stand in your power and go, 'yes, I knew the last job was literally sucking my soul so it's okay that I have to pivot'. The key to happiness and business success for you is through following your passions. I know, how cliche. Yet you never know how a random talent or hyper-fixation can lead to something real and tangible. Pile 2, I see you moving on from previous heartbreak. You are burying and leaving behind painful memories of love and instead replacing it with passion, creativity and who knows...maybe new love.

2025, 2nd half:

The similarities in the actual cards I drew, is almost an exact replica with pile 1 so you may also relate to that pile. The main theme of the second half of your 2025 is all about renewal. Like a butterfly birthed from a cocoon I see you rise with fervour. You are focused and grinding. You are going so hard for yourself and achieving your dreams. You are being daring about things you've always wanted to try. I see you challenging yourself with hobbies, with thrill seeking activities. I see you achieving professional success and being in the spotlight for those achievements. Embrace it, soak it up. It is meant to be, let this be all the validation you need. There is a couple or two individuals who are aware of their spiritual connection to each other in this pile. You may have been on a break, or travelling or apart for some (necessary) reasons. You will get a sign sometime in this part of the year to connect with this person. So one of you will be reaching out via DM or however you both prefer your communications. I see a masculine in this pile in particular being very vocal about insecurities to do with work/business. I feel that this could be a masculine leaning on his mother through this time period. Just do whatever you need to to process your very valid fears then let it go. I recommend a burning ritual if this applies to you. This doesn't have to be a male person but whoever identifies with coming across at this stage of their lives in a masculine way. I see as a result of these conversations, you will make a decision on how to proceed and take appropriate action toward your new beginning.

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Hello Pile 3:

Please remember that this is a collective reading so only take what feels intuitively to be your message. Thank you.

2025, 1st half:

The main theme of the first half of you 2025 surrounds you being unsure how to proceed with a particular situation. I see a masculine energy or that of a person who is charming charismatic and self-assured,  being defensive and on guard with their heart after realising that they've the  love of their life. We always imagine that getting what we want we will immediately accept and embrace it. Instead Pile 3, you meet someone you like and you immediately acknowledge how unique and how distinct the feeling they give you is but you are so determined to ignore it or tell yourself there is something else at play here. Now that I am starting to interpret, I am seeing now that this lack of certainty from you pile 3 could be coming from how unbelievable it is to you to find someone you so strongly want to attach to and immediately want to drag down the isle, lovingly of course. You feel both lucky and scared that this little bit of luck might run away. For some of you I feel that you were already on a lucky streak and have now hit the motherload. I'll be honest and say though this person is the main focus mentally and emotionally, it will not be long between you realising that they mean that much to you and that your attraction for this SP is different, to you making an honest offer. For those already in union, your story looks a little bit different. For those in union, I am seeing an unmarried couple with the man in the planning phase of engagement. You will know if this is you because the masculine in the couple is strong, sexy and self-assured. He also may have been recently defensive about how much he is working. This is because he knows you want a surprise, he knows what you want in a proposal and he is gonna make it happen. The heavens are literally opening up to help you make this deeper commitment come together. Any couples with a wedding date in this half of the year in Pile 3, I see a great wedding and a true realisation that you have done the right thing by being with this person. Any couples already married, you could simply be deepening the bonds of your love. I see this through some sort of recitation of affections or something ceremonial (whatever that means to you)

2025, 2nd half:

The main theme of the second half of your 2025 is health. You may be having some secrets unearthed from your childhood that opens a can of worms for you to now digest. For some of you, you simple know that you have leaned too long into your naivete and have decided to finally do something to facilitate your growth and maturity. This pile is giving growth. With this new journey to explore the depths of yourself, comes gossip. There comes talks and speculation about how you are making so much money. How are you acquiring so many assets or how are you never seeming to struggle financially? Then the chatter goes into your sex life. There could be rumours you are sleeping around for money or you are being particularly sexually free at this time. This may or may not be an accurate representation of what you are doing, but that matters not. You are not defined by people who are not taking the time to know you but instead, speculating like you are spectator sport. If you are being at all promiscuous then please be aware that this can cause more burden or a different sort of trauma to unpack at a later date. By interacting with so many people, you are opening yourself up to microscopic tears to your psyche that will need to be repaired. I see you receiving messages from a SP. The feminine in question is coming through as a confident, sexy and ambitious woman. The man is coming through as ambitious, powerful and sexy. This is not necessarily gender specific so you could be the woman with the qualities of the man I see in this reading. It's not something to get hung up on. There is a sense that you are both defending what you have to the outside world while also drowning in the passion that you clearly have for each other. You're both drowning, willingly.

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Hello Pile 4:

Please remember that this is a collective reading so only take what feels intuitively to be your message. Thank you.

2025, 1st half:

The main theme for the first half of your 2025 is gossip and or chatter. Yet despite that being the main theme, the clarifying cards also show me a different secondary main theme which is of material comfortability. The reading has more pentacle cards than anything signalling money and resources, tangible or physical. You are coming through Pile 4 as a confident, successful single. If you are not single, you are certainly someone who feels whole and complete within themselves. This is not at the expense of another, but just an expression of the work you have done on yourself up until now. I feel the need to say Pile 4, you should be so proud of yourself for everything that you've achieved. You. Did. That. I see you being generous with you resources, but also vigilant. I see you making your younger self proud by being able to facilitate your desires materially. You have worked your way into a lucrative job or if not, you have lived a lifestyle well beyond your means and gotten comfortable with watching your savings beef up. If you need a massage you just get it, kinda energy. You don't think well, is there enough in my account, because you are either so financially responsible you know the ins and outs of your funds, or you're not pedantic but you allocate enough funds for everything you need. You run like clockwork even if it's something that you didn't always do. You have gotten to a place where you know which buttons to trigger within to achieve anything you need for different aspects of your life. You are coming across as untouchable, Pile 4. Your aura is extremely attractive right now and you could not look more delectable. You may be giving or receiving an offer of affections. This could be platonic or romantic but I feel for more of you it is romantic than platonic. Though you may have to take a second to think about it, you will consider yourself lucky in this opportunity and take it. You and your new love are happy and materially comfortable, together.

2025, 2nd half:

The main theme for the second half of your 2025 is grief/burdens. Some of the people in this pile, I see you travelling to pursue a new beginning. This could be anywhere to a new country/state. For some you are moving your whole life elsewhere while others you simply have not travelled enough and are off to make this dream a reality. There's something public about your trip. You could be documenting it or you may be very vocal about any struggles you may experience along the way. Struggles with money or logistics. Through the hardship though that you may experience along the way, you find yourself. For some you are finding yourself again, deeper aspects of your iceberg beneath the surface.  You find your own resilience and you are enchanted by it. You may at times punish yourself or self sabotage. You might spend too much on ubereats instead of saving or using sex as a distraction from your life. So long as you are being mindful and checking yourself when you feel those escapist tendencies coming through, you should be fine. A lot the changes you are going through at this time are fated. I see you going on a long journey of self-discovery, especially surrounding betrayals from others or from yourself. Allow yourself to grieve. Allow yourself to go through this period in a messy way because it's through the chaos that greater clarity will come through. It's through the inner conflict that you find that flickering ember of light.

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Hello Pile 5:

Please remember that this is a collective reading so only take what feels intuitively to be your message. Thank you.

2025, 1st half:

The main theme of your reading for the first half of 2025 is parents/authority figures. I feel that in this pile someone feels that they have been betrayed or duped by a parental or authority figure. Well I am here to tell you that the instant-karma they are about to receive will make you smile a little on the inside. I see you receiving a message likely through messages/online that this individual in question has been punished. Now this could look different for different people but for some of you I sense jail. Others more like a streak of bad luck or losing something important. I see a couple represented as masculine and feminine but these are energies not actual sexes. Both thinking, separately about their shared future. It's like people who are already seeing each other starting to daydream that they can really make it work. Or this could be friends who are starting to fall for each other. Well, aren't you lucky Pile 5 for the one you want not only wants you, but you are ordained to be together. You will receive the true happiness you have longed for. You forge forward you two lovebirds, leave the dust (parent/authority figure) behind as you hold each other shamelessly into the future.

2025, 2nd half:

The main theme for the second half of your 2025 is that of sexual tension/sexual exploration and for some of you just mental self-flagellation. You take whichever sounds like it resonates. Pile 5, you are becoming more and more self actualised as time goes on. In the second half of the year, you are feeling even more so that you are understanding yourself more and therefore better able to reach your highest potential. You know you are a star, you know you are destined for greatness and you know you have the will to achieve it. You have the tenacity, the staying power and the patience. You may receive heartbreaking news of betrayal in the second half of the year. For some of you this is because the person you were with has been unfaithful in some way (could be cheating or lying or anyway which counts within your own value system). For some this news was so obscure because there was some deceptive energy from the source. Once you speak to your partner, you unearth and realise that it's not your partner that is the problem, but elements outside of your relationship that are trying to cause you confusion and evidently a breakup. Whichever group you belong, I see this being something you will conquer and overcome through your self confidence. Sometimes the best way out is through. I see you refocusing on your foals, creativity, sexuality and therefore returning yourself back to a state of true happiness. You realise that as long as you have yourself and your dreams, everything else is inconsequential.

@cosmicspark24

[mercuriallily]

Maybe hot take but if you like Cats you can't say that Les Mis is bad bc it's "too long and doesn't make sense"

[entitled-fangirl]

How to liven a marriage.

Cregan Stark x wife!reader

SMUT SMUT SMUT SO MUCH SMUT

Summary: Cregan and the reader's marriage is dull, purely for duty. When the reader finds a book in the Winterfell library depicting just how pleasureful a man and wife's sex life can be, she takes it upon herself to introduce such a thing.

Warnings: p in v, fingering, making out, washing bruises (from a battle), riding, studying the scientific parts of a vagina, foreplay, etc

A/n: based on a reallllly good ask. I think this is my longest fic and I have no regrets. Except that I haven't proofread it yet. That's a later problem.

Masterlist

.......................................................

She felt her stomach drop to her feet when she saw the drawings in the book. Her cheeks became a flushed red, completely embarrassed to have stumbled on something so… private. She shut the book with a thud and cringed at the loud sound that echoed in the library.

She heaved the book back onto the shelf and brushed off her skirt, as if trying to completely brush off the experience itself.

Once she had pulled herself together, she decided she'd had enough of the library. Enough scavenging and prodding at the books. Especially one like that.

Be even so, she felt herself stop halfway to the door.

She was a married woman. The act of sex itself is no crime to a married woman. Nor studying various positions of it. 

It felt dirty to do so. Very wrong. Like her old Septa would appear and scold her ardently over it.

But her Septa wasn't there.

No one was there.

Just her and the book.

…

Cregan was sure to arrive within the fortnight. 

She wished to be happy about all of it. The return of her husband was good. It had been a tough few weeks to rule without him. After all, she was still new to the North.

But she couldn't find it in her.

Cregan was harsh and cold. Never happy, never caring. Duty and honor. How the words were stamped across their foreheads.

They had married out of duty, and that is all they had of one another. They were awkward and lacked the eagerness to spend time with one another. 

She had heard stories of great marriages of love that whisked away all problems and only left a man, a wife, and their love. That was not this marriage.

So the return of Cregan meant the return of a duty that she had started to dislike: Their attempts to conceive. She knew once she gave him a few sons, they would be rid of the need to conceive, but that day was far away.

And Cregan surely drew closer to Winterfell.

…

Perhaps the book- Forget about the book, she told herself. A proud man like him would never agree to look at such a thing.

Her fingers grazed over one of the drawings as she read the contents next to it. It was confusing to try and follow such a strange topic, but still she tried.

Women may experience intense pleasure of their own. It is most easy to start at the clitoris. It is located above the vaginal opening. A gentle circled rubbed at the area w

"What are you reading, my lady?"

She slammed the book shut with a thud and a gasp, her head snapping to the side to see Winterfell's maester standing with a curious expression. She held a hand over her chest. "Do not sneak up on a woman."

"Forgive me, my lady. I thought myself being rather loud in my steps." He gave her a chuckle. "It seems I was wrong."

Her shock was turning to embarrassment as she tried to slide the book further behind her back on the table that she leaned again. "You're forgiven, just go."

"Ah, I've come for a reason," he countered. "News of Lord Stark's return is at hand. He should be here by sunset tomorrow, gods willing."

She nodded, trying desperately to get him back out. "Right. How fortunate. Thank you. You may go."

"My lady, if I may," he continued. "You look rather flushed. Are you feeling ill?"

"NO!" She cringed at her outburst. "No, I'm quite well, thank you."

The maester gave her a strange look. He clearly didn't believe her, but he wasn't going to push it. "Right. If you need anything, only say the word." He dipped his head and hurried off, closing the door behind him.

Her entire body relaxed at his leaving. She ran a hand over her face in an attempt to physically remove the heat from her cheeks.

She had been so close to getting caught with this.

Too close.

When she was sure there weren't footsteps in the corridor, she turned back, opening the book once more and reading further.

It gave her an idea.

She grabbed the book, carrying it to Cregan's desk and setting the heavy thing down. Her fingers sprawled over the page once again, careful to not continue the tear that went down the side. She slowly sat down as she continued to read.

A gentle circled rubbed at the area will increase pleasure during the act of sex.

She looked over her shoulder to check one last time before her hands began to bring her skirt up. The fabric was quickly pooled around her stomach and her legs were exposed. Her right hand shook as it brushed the small piece of fabric still guarding her most intimate parts from the cold air.

But the most important part of a female's genitalia to understand is the vagina. Located between the clitoris and the anus lies the vagina. Though different in looks, all women's perform quite alike.

Her breath caught as she gained her last bit of bravery, and her fingers pushed the fabric to the side. The cold air made her hiss, as did the coldness to her fingertips.

The labia majora protects the vagina from foreign particles, the labia minora after that. 

Her fingers explore the very area, the cold digits skimping past the skin until she knew her middle finger grazed the inside of her vagina. 

She should have known the territory well. It was her own body and still she found herself unsure of where everything laid.

And above all else, she felt filthy for it. This was for her husband, not her own gain. Her own pleasure has nothing to do with making an heir. But she wouldn't stop now.

Her eyes grazed over the page again as she pushed her middle finger deep inside her. It caught once or twice, the lack of moisture causing a small discomfort. But once her second knuckle disappeared into her, she recalled the feeling. 

She remembered this now: the feeling of something inside of her. Though, this was one finger and nowhere near as intruding as her husband's cock. And only then did she begin to understand how a man could fall apart from this feeling. Her walls seemed to not want her finger to part from her. She pumped it in and out a few times before daring to turn the page with her left hand.

…

Cregan returned as promised, with the sun beginning to set behind him- though it was covered with the thick clouds of the North. 

Standing on the stairs to the castle was his wife. He had long awaited to return home. To continue his duties to her? No. But home meant warmth and small comforts and he would take that every day he could.

He dismounted his horse and took slow steps to her. He forced a small smile, more for the sake of everyone else than the two of them. "My lady."

She gave a polite nod of her head when he grew close. "You've returned safely."

"I have." His gaze wandered around the area in an attempt to ease the awkwardness.

"I… I've missed you," she muttered.

His eyes looked to her and his brows pulled together. "Have you?"

"Well…" She looked down at her shoes. Was that even true? She didn't miss him. Not really. Well, she did in a way. Waiting to talk about the book. "Well, I found myself wanting to be with you as soon as I could." She swallowed and looked up at him. "Would that be considered missing you?"

" 'Being with me,' " he repeated as he thought it over. He squinted in contemplation before trying to clarify. "As in speaking with me or… other things?"

Her face flushed and her eyes looked right back down to the ground. 

He sighed and placed his hands on his hips. His tongue ran along his teeth before clicking as he came to a conclusion in his mind. "An hour. My chambers."

It was a soft command. He never ordered her around. And if she chose to voice an opinion ever, she knew he'd consider it. He was a forceful man, but not like that. 

But when she made no motion against it, he chuckled. One of his hands came up to her chin and tilted her head up to meet his gaze. "An hour. I'll even wash for you first." He pressed an emotionless kiss to her lips and stepped away, grabbing his horse's reins and beginning to speak to one of the other men.

An hour. That felt like too long to sit with her thoughts. But she'd manage. Somehow.

…

An hour later, she opened the door with her heart beating wildly. 

But upon seeing what laid inside, it died down.

Cregan laid in the large copper tub, his head laid back against the rim as he bathed: fast asleep.

She leaned on the door and studied him for a while. How easily the rough man became just as soft as anyone else. He seemed… at peace for once. That large crease that always laid between his brows was gone as he softly snored.

It's hard to make an heir like this. But he'd journeyed so far, and something like sex seemed dumb when he needed rest this badly.

She stepped in and closed the door behind her, careful not to make a heavy sound. Her steps were quiet and careful, quickly guiding her to him and now she kneeled at his side. 

Her fingers dipped into the water. It was beginning to grow cold.

And judging by the light pruning of his fingers, he'd been there for a while.

Cregan often took his baths alone. He always refused the help of servants, even his wife, rather wishing to have this as his alone time.

She grabbed the cloth that lay over the side- unused, judging by its dryness, and dipped it in, beginning to lightly trail it over his chest. 

She took the time to study every scar across him. There were many and she had no doubt that he'd won each battle they belonged to. She had seen him sparring- she knew how formidable she was with a sword in his hand.

The water ran down his chest and dripped into the tub again. The sounds echoed in his room. Each seemed loud compared to the utter silence of the air.

She moved to the other side of the tub and cleaned him, now noticing the deep cut on his shoulder. Deep purple and green bruising laid around it. It looked quite painful. When she ran the cloth over it, he hissed and his eyes finally opened.

He took in the room, a sharp gaze that would make most men fearful. Once they set on her and he completely came to, they softened slightly. She saw the way they flickered from her eyes to the cloth in her hand. She waited for him to inevitably shoo her from the room.

"Has it been an hour?" He quietly asked. "I apologize. How rude of me." He pulled the rag from her hand. "And I've made you feel as if you have to clean me to make up for time lost that I now owe you. Well, sit and I will hurriedly finish, wife."

His words and movements caught her off guard. She was unsure what to say. 

"Go on," he motioned with a hand. "Sit and wait for me. Like you so patiently have."

"No," she finally countered. "Y- your shoulder. It looks painful. Let me."

Her hand grabbed for the rag, brushing his. The two seemingly froze in the moment. Cregan's deep eyes stared up at hers, as if taking her in for the first time. Finally, he shook his head. "It won't take long."

"I know. So, let me," she argued again.

He looked down to their hands, their fingers touching just barely. Slowly, his grip loosened and she was able to slip the cloth from him.

Silently, she took the acceptance and began to wash him again. She took extra care around the bruises now. When the cloth ran over them, the fingers of her other hand followed and paused. "Does it hurt?" She softly asked.

Cregan's eyes were glued to the water now, his fingers dipping in and out and watching the droplets fall back into the tub. "They always do."

"It didn't go well, I take it?"

He held water in his palm, cupped carefully as he studied it. "It went very well."

"This is very well?"

He tilted his hand and let the water escape down his arm with a sigh. His head tilted and he finally looked at her with a firm gaze. "The Wall is harsh. Even on its best days."

Having him stare at her so deeply made her chest flutter and she suddenly imagined how he might look at her while doing things from the book in the library. 

She dared a thought, bringing a hand up to his cheek. He watched her carefully. To think that she did this of affection was a ridiculous one. He must have something on his face.

But when her palm rested there, on his cheek, he began to think differently. It brought a strange feeling to his stomach.

Her hand rested there for a while and the two were unmoving. But when she brushed her thumb over his cheekbone, he pulled his head away.

Her fingers pulled to her palm as she accepted the rejection and blinked away all thoughts. "Lean forward," she gently commanded.

He raised no fuss, pulling himself forward with a small groan. No doubt his muscles protested with each movement.

She focused now, trying to ignore the way the muscles in his back flexed and contracted each time he moved. 

The cloth ran across his back and few times, and he eventually sighed at the feeling. Her hand somehow applied just enough pressure to his aching back. And when she noticed and focused just above his shoulder blades, he let out an audible groan.

"Tense, Lord Stark?" She almost teased.

He didn't catch the teasing part though, too relaxed in this state. He only nodded and prayed that she'd continue.

She abandoned the cloth and began to fully massage his shoulders with her hands. It put the powerful man in a relaxed trance, and not one he cared to come out of anytime soon.

"I've been thinking," she spoke. "Well, do you think that… " she hesitated. "That maybe… maybe there's more to conceiving a child than… what we've been doing?"

There was a silence. It was suffocating and she was sure that she'd said the wrong thing. She would have swore he hadn't heard her, but the sudden tension in his back said so.

Finally, his head turned just a bit, revealing half of his face to her and he barely looked over his shoulder. "I think," he drew out, "you've been reading."

Oh. So he knew of the book.

She pulled away, as if burned and began to wring her hands as her nerves took over. "It was there… and… And I only thought… maybe-"

He laid back again the tub again to look at her. "Is that something you want?" He calmly asked.

Her mouth went dry as she tried to speak an answer. 

"Wife," he voiced a little sharper. "I asked you a question."

She forced herself to take a deep breath. "Yes."

The corner of his lips tugged up and leaned his head back against the rim as before, closing his eyes. "So be it."

"W-" she stopped herself before creating any problems she didn't need. He'd agreed, and that was that.

With her confused presence, he opened his eyes and lulled his head to the side. "I'll apologize again for taking our time." His hand came out of the water to her, mimicking the way she had cupped his cheek early. "But after the feast?" His thumb ran over her lips, catching and pulling down her bottom lip. "You are mine to have."

…

She remembered something in the book about this. Foreplay, she recalled. Like dangling a bone in front of a dog and seeing the way it would drool in anticipation. 

Like quick glances, small touches, things that would signal to a partner that you wished to engage in sexual activities. 

Doing such things during a feast felt scandalous. But it filled her heart with a fire that she knew was traveling between her legs as well.

She had started it, brushing her hand with his as they ate. Then wiped at a bit of wine that had dripped down his chin. Then even daring to brush a hand across this thigh.

But that was earlier. Now, across the room from each other, she took other tactics. 

When she wasn't looking at whoever she spoke to, she looked at Cregan. Her eyes would wander from his face to his feet, a long gaze that took its time, and enjoyed every moment of it. And he was quick to notice it. When she was caught and his eyes were on her, she quickly looked away in mock embarrassment.

It worked wonderfully.

The rest of the evening, she felt his eyes on her and when she'd look back, he'd have a look that said he was ready to devore her whole. She felt her core almost drip with the adrenaline rushing through her.

Now, to act on it.

She caught his gaze again, keeping it and taking slow steps to the high table, hoping he'd get the hint to follow her. 

And perceptive he was.

She stood in front of her chair and reached down to her cup when his chest warmed her back. His hand reached over hers and seized her chalice as his voice spoke lowly in her ear. "Bid them goodnight. We are retiring."

She craned her neck to try to look at him. "We are the hosts-"

"-two minutes, and I'll carry you myself if I must."

His warmth disappeared, and he set her cup back down to the table.

A wide grin came to her lips.

…

The moment the door to his chamber closed, he pushed her against the wall. His lips chased her with a heat like she was the air he needed to breathe. His hands pulled at the fabric on her shoulders, so eager to undress and ravish her.

Her hands did the same, pulling at the strings of her doublet. But it was hard to do so through Cregan's heavy hands tugging her this way and that. 

Soon enough, cold air rose goosebumps across her skin. Cregan paused, only for a moment, letting his eyes wander over her. And for the first time, lust was evident in his pupils.

His lips consumed hers once more, his tongue delving past her teeth to hurriedly explore. His hands and hers both pulled at his clothes. 

With his chest bare, he deemed that enough for now. He picked her up and took her to the bed, dropping them both to it and holding himself above her with one hand. His lips moved to her neck now, sucking at the skin. And her small hitch of breath encouraged him.

Soon he pulled away and stood at the foot of the bed, pulling down his trousers and throwing off his boots. His eyes never strayed from her body. How beautiful she was. Now he really noticed.

His hands found her ankles. He pulled her down to the edge of the bed.

She began to notice how he'd began to go back into their routine from before.

He stepped between her legs and propped her hips up a bit, lining his cock with her cunt and beginning to force his way in.

Her jaw clenched and her nose inhaled sharply. She was never used to that first push. 

Her mind wandered to the night before with the book. She had went on to get three fingers in and without pain. She knew it was possible to avoid this if they went slowly. And the pleasure she had felt yesterday was inexplainable.

"Cr-Cregan," she panted out.

His eyes snapped up to hers. They never spoke during this. There was never anything to talk about. 

"I want to… to do it differently," she managed out.

He pulled out from her, holding her legs steady as he gave her a questioning gaze. "What did you read in that thing?" He finally asked.

"I want… I want to be… above," she tried to explain. "You lay down and I… I will do the work."

He was hesitant, understandably so, but he was hard enough now that he didn't quite care how it happened. He just needed a release.

So he laid himself on the bed, his eyes almost bulging out with the way she straddled him so confidently. 

She brushed against his manhood, and he couldn't take it anymore. His hands gripped her hips tightly as he tried to take back control. But her own hands pulled his away. She gave him a look that warned him to let her try it.

She sunk down onto him this time. The pressure was there, but it was different. More bearable this time. And at her own pace, she took her time to adjust to him until his pelvis met hers. 

Cregan's eyes were closed in bliss, and she took that as a sign to continue. She pulled her hips up and sunk back down, and a whine left her mouth without realizing it. It felt… good. Sex with Cregan felt good.

His hands trailed back up to her hips, more gentle this time. He guided her hips in a back and forth motion and a sinful moan escaped from him.

She continued it as he wanted, leaning down to brace herself on his chest. With this new motion, she could find a little pressure to her clit, and it brought a whole new wave of pleasure.

The motions quickened as the two began to explore the idea that maybe… just maybe… they liked this.

If their moans had any indication.

She felt a tightening in her lower stomach, something she remembered from yesterday. She wondered if Cregan could feel it from inside.

And he could. It created a resistance that had him almost drooling with how well it felt. How good she made him feel.

"Let me fill you," he voiced in a beg. It hadn't intended to come out that way, but it did. Cregan was begging.

"I w~" the words caught in her throat. "I want you to fill me," she managed. "Give me a child, Cre~"

The words died altogether on her lips as her orgasm washed over her. The one from her fingers yesterday was nothing compared to this. She felt it throughout her body like spring that had finally snapped. 

Cregan's eyes were open and wide at the feeling of her cunt around him now, spasming with the aftermath of her orgasm. It felt amazing, and he had cursed himself for never discovering it before.

And now that he had, he wouldn't forget it. 

Her cunt milked him for all he had, and he happily gave it to her, releasing himself with a heavy groan.

The two slumped on the bed, Cregan's arms wrapped around his wife's frame. Neither were eager to move from their positions, not even as he softened inside of her or the liquid ran down her thighs.

Before, Cregan had held her up and made her keep it in. 

Now? He didn't care. He could always just fill her again.

He'd do anything to see the way her jaw dropped and her eyes glazed over again. 

"Thank you," she breathed against his neck.

There was a comfortable silence from him. Then finally, "I'll have that book read within the fortnight."

..........................................

Taglist: @twinkletwinklenotastar@kidd3ath @yujyujj@misswynters@cosmosnkaz@sithapprentice@kaniromi@lovemesomevesey@its-jackie-bb@thorins-queen-of-erebor@kingdomzeldaquest@nyxbranwenn@callsignwidow@a1lexh-blog@alyssa-dayne @ethereal-athalia @ashovertheriver @lost-in-fiction-like-ur-mom @dozcan123 @wangjiangelangel @kamitargaryen @aegonswife @lv7867@helpmedecideaname @cherryheairt @classicsimpforaaronwarner

[h0ney-mochi]

I'm thinking of a subby!xiao x dom!Afab!Reader, where it's xiao's first time and he starts crying because of the extreme pleasure he is receiving lmao

(I wanna hear his moans, whimpers, whines, crying, I wanna feel him squirming as he begs me to go faster on his cock lmao)

Anyways thanks! I hope you have a wonderful day :D

sub Xiao x dom afab!reader

SMUT/NSFW CONTENT (sub!xiao, dom!reader, afab!reader, riding, dacryphilia?, praise)

Summary: You've started being more intimate with Xiao a few months ago. Make-outs, some touching, but nothing too far... And then, one night, he tells you his thoughts on wanting to do more.

A/n: YR SO RIGHT... he'd be whimpering and whining for you to speed up, go harder, he wants more!!! <3 Hope you have a good day as well, anon! I haven't written in so fucking long that I'm scared this isn't that good... gosh help

Minor writer, dni if uncomfortable!

It's another night of you and your lovely adeptus boyfriend. He's still not used to the title of that, especially when you run up to him muttering the words with a huge smile on your face. You've asked him if he's uncomfortable, that you can change the nickname up, that he can tell you if he doesn't like it— Before seeing the blush on his cheeks that he's trying very hard to hide. He'll say it's fine, avoiding your teasing gaze, not wanting to admit that he does like the name. Especially when it comes from your lips.

Another one of those nights of you laying in the grass, kicking your feet in the air while reading a book in the pale moonlight. Xiao is beside you, looking over the hill. It was calm and quiet. Occasionally, you could hear some bird making noise in the distance, but other than that, it was peaceful. You flip another page and smirk at a sentence.

Xiao has already moved his attention away from the fields, looking down at you now, watching your eyes move across the words on the page. He slightly furrows his eyebrows, deep in some thoughts. It's fascinating how you have so many sides to you. Just in the early morning of the same day, you had him against the wall, messily making out. And now you're giggling at a book you picked up from the library days prior.

He feels the same weird feeling in his stomach that he felt in the morning when you had your tongue down his throat. What was it? What is it? You two never went far. You guys started getting sort of intimate a few months ago, maybe. He was inexperienced. It all always was too much, making him light-headed. Even a slightly heavier make-out session was enough to make his knees buckle. He doesn't know if you've been with someone else before him... You do it so easily. You always take the lead. Is it because you've learned it with someone else or.. or...

Oh, how he wished he would be the first one.

"Xiao?" Your gentle voice breaks him out of his thoughts, and he meets your eyes. He stares at you for a moment before looking away, answering you with a simple 'What?'.

"You seem pretty deep in thought, something bothering you? Do you need to go already?" You ask him while sliding a bookmark on your page and closing the book. Xiao grunts, shaking his head, "No, I'm fine." You won't let that go. You sit up and scoot closer to him, leaning against his shoulder. He moves his head to the side so you can lay yours comfortably. Your two fingers do a walk on his leg, and you smile. "Xiaooo," you drag out his name, chuckling at the end, "Tell me what's up."

Xiao sighs in annoyance, looking away. You slide your hand into his, intertwining your fingers. He tenses up and slowly turns his head to look down at you. He's met with your eyes already staring at him. "Come onnn, you know I won't judge," you continue your sentence. Xiao stares at you with an annoyed look. Some silence passes, and he blinks a few times before looking away again.

"It's nothing, I've just been thinking... about us. About what we... do." He finally says, absentmindedly moving his thumb against your hand. You hum in a bit of confusion before straightening your back, and he looks at you when you do that, eyes slightly widening in some fear. You take both of his hands in yours and look at him, "That's what's bothering you? Am I going too fast? I'm really sorry. You shouldn't keep these things to yourself, honey." You speak, furrowing your eyebrows, slightly chewing on your lip. Have you really been pushing too hard on him? Well, it would make sense that it would be too much for him... But it's the first time that he's bringing this up. How long has he been thinking like this?

"Oh, what? No, no, I-" Xiao's eyes widen at your words, and he quickly shakes his head, sighing again, "No, you got it wrong. You're not doing anything wrong, [name]. I was just thinking that..." I want you. I need you. I need more.

He feels his cheeks start to burn at his own thoughts. How is he supposed to say it out loud?

You stare at him with a tilted head. You try to think of what he's trying to tell you right now and make sure you won't be getting anything wrong, that you won't be misunderstanding... but his blush is really telling.

A small grin tugs at your lips. "You were thinking?" He swallows, breaking eye contact to look to the side. It's not like him to feel all flustered, but you always manage to mess with his head. Never in a million years would he admit to needing you in a way that is incredibly strange, at least to him. Yet you're willing to listen, you're grinning. You have a hunch on what he could say, and it makes him feel embarrassed.

"...That maybe we could..." He starts, feeling his heartbeat quicken and his mouth go dry. How is this so hard to say out loud?

He breathes in and then slowly exhales. Quickly glancing to you, he sees your grin. He's not sure if he should continue looking at you or look away — what can save him from these feelings right now?

"Maybe we could do... something more?" Xiao finally continues after a moment of silence. The way he worded it made him feel hot, nervousness creeping in. He starts to think again, staring in your eyes, of what you're going to say. Then he feels you squeeze his hands, and he feels his heart slowly slowing down. You let out a quiet chuckle before responding, "Yeah, we can. How far do you want me to go? Will you tell me when we're there?" He sits there, blinking at you. You hear him mutter an 'um...' and he's glancing to the side again.

"It's okay. You'll tell me when you'll need to then," You reassure him and lean in to give him a quick kiss. He feels your lips for a second, but before he can do anything back, you've already pulled away, and he feels some disappointment. You put your head back on his shoulder, speaking up again, "Just tell me when you want to try something more, or you want it to just happen in one of our moments?"

He moves his hand away from yours and coughs into it, not being able to handle your questions. How are they working him up already? Guess he's just letting his mind wander far too easily...

You noticed. Of course you did, so you spoke on it. Moving your head again, you lean into his ear and whisper, "Or do you want to do it right now?"

He lets out a breath before swallowing. It doesn't take long for him to reply, shaking his head up and down to your question. You let out a small laugh and move away, moving into his lap instead. You take your hand away from his and put both of them on the sides of his face, letting one move down to his neck and go further into his soft hair.

He stares at you with wide eyes, breathing through his mouth. He can't hide his nervousness. Or was it excitement? Neither of you knew right now.

He's already leaning closer to you, glancing down to your lips and back up to your eyes, so you only do the same. You lean in and press your lips against his once again, and his hands freeze up for a moment, before he moves them to sit on your hips, gloved hands slightly digging into your clothing.

He kisses you back, letting his eyes close shut in the process. You move your lips against his, and you feel his mouth slightly part, and you take it as a chance to slide your tongue in. You move your thumb against his cheek while running your other hand through his hair. He sighs through his nose, kissing you back, slightly melting from it as you move your tongue. And he can't help, but imagine where else he could feel it..

His hands slightly tighten on your hips, and he pulls you closer to him. He needs you closer, closer... And you let him, shifting slightly in his lap so it's a bit more comfortable for you. And that's when you feel it.

You move your hand away from his hair and slowly run it down his neck to his chest, feeling his heart beat against it. Xiao makes a tiny sound when you move your hand further downwards over his stomach. You've always trailed your hand there, but it felt different this time. Probably because he said that the two of you could do something more, and you're moving towards said wish.

You smile against his mouth and pull away, earning a tiny whine from the man in front of you. His eyes widen as his own reaction, and he glances away. You tap his cheek with your thumb, and he looks back to your face. "Eyes on me," you whisper in a soft tone. The way he looks at you and the nod of his head makes your heart skip a beat. It was cute.

"You want me to go further, yeah?" You ask, and he nods again, not confident in his voice right now. You move your hand over his pants, slowly feeling him through the clothing, and you see his eyes slightly shutting before opening fully again. You're not doing a lot, just rubbing your hand up and down, feeling his dick pulse from your movements. Yet to him, it already feels a lot, but not enough. He tries to stay still, but as a small noise falls from his lips, he bucks his hips forward, trying to get more friction from your hand. You smile, and he stares back at you with pleading eyes.

In a quick movement, you pull your hand away, and he sighs at the loss. But you had other plans anyway. Using both of your hands, you push on his chest, making him fall down onto the grass beneath the two of you. Xiao watches your movements as he props himself up with his elbows, wondering what you've got in mind for him. He's met with your eyes that seem to have a dark glint within them. Your fingers hook onto his pants, and you're slowly pulling down his clothing, making him jump slightly. It wasn't that cold, but if you're showing lots of bare skin, it does send a few chills down your body.

The flush on his cheeks gets darker as he realizes just how excited he's got from you, but he doesn't dare to look away, no — he needs to see what you're going to do.

You don't make him wait, immediately moving your hand over his underwear, wrapping your hand around his hard-on. Slowly moving your hand, same motions as before, just with a slightly tighter grip. You move your head down and leave a small kiss at the top of his clothed dick and he pulses in your hand. Hearing his breathing get shaky already makes you only wonder - how is he going to sound when he actually feels you?

"[name], please..." You hear him quietly speak, letting out a breath right after, "Can you...?" You lid your eyes at him, asking with a smirk, "Can I what?" He balls his hands into fists, knowing very well that you were teasing him.

"Please, you know- you know what I mean.." He mumbles, slightly moving his hips. You let out a small laugh, nodding. You pull his underwear out of the way, further down his legs, and he shivers from the cool air hitting his dick, getting some goosebumps in the process.

Wrapping your fingers around him again, you feel his warmth on your palm. You let some of your spit fall on his dick and you start jerking him off. Xiao lets out a moan, immediately jumping at the sensation. You kiss his tip before leaning away and climbing on top of his body. One hand bent enough so you can still jack him off, you put your other hand on the grass next to him, so you wouldn't fall over. He's the one to kiss you first, already opening his mouth for you.

It doesn't take that long for him to already start moving his hips in the same motion as your hand, hands gripping at the grass and loud moans spilling in your mouth, getting swallowed down by you. From the way he's reacting and getting more desperate, you could tell he was close.

So you slowed down your hand, and oh boy, the disappointed moan he let out in your mouth made butterflies fly in your stomach.

You pulled away from his lips, and he opened his eyes to stare at you, confusement visible in his expression. "Why- why did you stop?" He asked, but then his question was answered once he saw you pulling down your own pants, along with your underwear. His mind doesn't process what's happening right now until you're towering over him again, rubbing his dick against yourself. That sends a spark through his body, and he whines, breathing heavily. And then you look at him.

"Is this okay?" You ask, teasing his tip with your fingers, and he only nods in response. "Can you say it out loud?" You tilt your head at him and watch him stutter. "I mean- Yes, it's fine- okay-" Xiao speaks, eyes darting between your face and his dick, "Please-"

And then you lowered yourself down on him, moving your hands on his chest. Xiao's breath gets caught in his throat, and he goes quiet, mouth agape. It was fairly easy to take him in since his reactions and noises always made you get wet. Still, it felt foreign since this is the first time both of you are going to enjoy each other. Your hands clutch onto his clothes as you let out a soft moan, fully sitting down on his lap. It felt nice.

Xiao, on the other hand, was digging his hands in the grass, plucking a few off the ground from the harsh grip. He lets out a strangled moan, chest rising from a few quick breaths. Oh, you were so warm, he was inside of you, oh dear Archons, he was inside of you. Holy fuck.

You move a hand up to cup his cheek, making him zone back into your eyes. In a gentle voice, you ask, "Are you alright?" He nods slowly, unable to form proper words. And you take that as your cue to start moving. Using the strength you had in your legs, you lift yourself off his lap, leaving the tip of his dick inside you, before moving back down, slightly hitting his stomach. Xiao groans, his eyes almost closing from the feeling.

"You- you're so warm... You feel so-" He chokes out, interrupting himself with a shaky breath, "So good, fuck." You smile and grip onto his clothing, riding him at a quicker pace now. Xiao's back arched, and he let out a gasp. His hands shot up to your waist, holding on for dear life as you moved up and down his dick, moaning in the process.

He can't stop his noises now, that's for sure.

"Fuck, ah, you're- fuck, you're so warm, gaH—!" He whines, digging his hands into your skin, "Please- please go f-faster, [name], please..." You lie down on his chest, pressing your head into the crook of his neck and did as he begged. Crashing your hips up and down, the sound of skin hitting skin, combining that with the pure pleasure... Xiao couldn't hold back. His head falls back against the grass and moans flow freely from his throat as he tries to calm down. He feels tears prick at his eyes and his fingers dig harder in your waist, toes curling against the ground.

It felt so, so fucking good.

And then you moaned in his ear, and his eyes shot open towards the night sky. You moved one hand under his shirt, trailing it up his chest as you continued your movements on his dick. Through your moans, you managed to let out some proper words. "You like that? That feels good, doesn't it?"

He tries to nod, but he can't move from the pleasure, pressing the back of his head down against the ground. "Yes, ah-! Yes, feels good, fuck, feels good, feels so, so fucking good- Please, please-"

He's not sure what he's begging for, but he needs it, and he wants it so bad. He sniffles, feeling tears leave his eyes. There's something building up inside him, and he needs that release, whatever it is — he needs you to free him.

Your lips meet his neck, teeth grazing his skin. Your hips slap against his stomach, the noise from your wetness making it sound so much louder. Both your moans are mixing together, yet Xiao's are so much louder than yours. He's already sensitive, but he does not want to pull away, he can't, he feels something, he doesn't know what it is, but he fucking needs it. And so he begs with tears falling down his cheeks.

"Please, fuck- Please, I need- I need to- Fuck, [name], please, I want to- Haah- [name], please—!" Xiao moans out, his hands digging harder, daring to leave bruises on your skin and you groan in response, biting down on his neck.

"Mhm, you can do it, come on-" You say, detaching from his neck and straightening your back, quickly moving your hips ups and down, feeling your legs starting to sting, "Make me proud, Xiao. You're- fuck, you're doing so, so good."

And that's enough to have him snap. His eyes shut close, pushing more tears out, and his head falls back again. His dick pulses in you and you smile, staring down at his fucked out face. Wet streaks illuminated by the moonlight. His tight grip on your hips slightly loosens as he cums, letting out a sharp gasp. You don't stop yet, still trying to reach your own high and he slightly trembles beneath you, letting out broken moans.

His eyes are blurry and his mouth is dry, his heart is racing and he's sensitive. When you finally lean down to his face, it takes a bit for him to focus in on you. "Xiao?" Your voice sounds slightly distant, followed by a small chuckle, "Did that feel good, baby boy?"

He feels a small smile tug at his lips. You cup his face in your hands and kiss him, thumb brushing away his tears. He kisses back with the energy he still has left, and he meets your eyes when you pull away. He looked so pretty in the moonlight. His face was messy, red eyeliner stains, wet streaks from his tears...

"Yeah," his voice feels sore, "It did."

Thank you for the request! Hope you enjoy the taste <3

© h0ney-mochi 2024 / Please don't copy or repost my work and writings! <3

[cherryblossompink303]

Patience: ~Starting today, you are a host!~

➼ pairing: Kyoya Ootori x Reader ➼ summary: you're slowly starting to get to know the host club you had just been recruited by, and more specifically the guy that you're supposed to marry, but with a new arrival you may have found a friend to navigate through this together. ➼ what to expect: “don’t you think that was a little harsh?” ➼ warnings: angst if you squint :) enjoy ➼ Prologue | Part 2

The warmth of spring was slowly starting to creep in as you sat in the window of music room three. You were still getting used to spending your free time in a high school host club, especially since host clubs as a concept was new to you.

And then there was Kyoya. Sitting quietly across from you was the guy that one day you were meant to marry, at least according to both of your families. When you transferred to Ouran two years ago you did not expect to meet your betrothed through the leader of the famed 'ouran highschool host club'

You remembered the day that you joined the host club well, a month after transferring and a couple of weeks after meeting Tamaki you did not expect to start your first day as consultant to the host club just to find that the vice-president was the kyoya ootori that you had heard about for most of your life.

Upon meeting you figured that there could be worse people to be engaged to. Kyoya was polite enough, well mannered, but he was strangely disconnected from you.

Even now, catching a glance at him from across the table, you realise that you really do not know that much about him.

"From the looks of things we are low on coffee, I can run out and get some if you'd like? Can have the guests go without" you offered, barely looking up from the book you were reading. Kyoya hummed, giving a somewhat smug smirk that you had expected from him by now. "No need, did Tamaki not tell you? we have an errand boy now"

"Errand boy?" the statement confused you, who would agree to be an errand boy for a high school host club for free? "Haruhi! Could you come over here a second?"

Approaching them was someone you recognised to be the newest scholarship transfer student, Fujioka, you think their name is. Which confused you more since you were pretty sure Haruhi Fujioka was a girl.

"This is Y/N L/N, my fiance and the host clubs consultant" you still haven't gotten used to the introduction. "It's nice to meet you" Haruhi greeted although you and her both know that you had met before. "Likewise"

"Haruhi we are low on coffee, would you mine running out to the shops to stock up" Haruhi nodded wordlessly, seemingly relieved that she may get a few moments peace while she is out buying coffee.

You shot Kyoya a questioning look as Haruhi wandered away. "Haruhi shattered that vase that we were going to put on auction, since we know he cannot pay for it we have given him a chance to work off his debt"

"That's a little harsh is it not senpai?" you knew that in hindsight the vase is not worth any significant amount for nearly any attendee of the school other than maybe Haruhi. Kyoya shrugged, taking a sip of black coffee "I don't see why, I feel that it is harsher to demand he pay knowing that he doesn't have the money"

You may not know kyoya well, but you know kyoya well enough to know that it wasn't worth the argument. "You do know..." he laughed, seemingly reading your mind of where you were going "Yes, I know that Haruhi is a girl" He leaned forward, now leaning down against the surface of the table.

"But Tamaki hasn't put that together yet" you did not know whether or not to be surprised, Tamaki seemingly always had lived in a world of his own, he often did miss out glaringly obvious details. But you couldn't help but feel a slight sense of devious smugness as you realised what Kyoya was doing. What was a little lie of omission if it is victimless?

You laugh a little, looking over to the rest of the members noticing that they were all now fawning over some instant coffee that Haruhi bought.

"Tamaki has seemed to take quite an interest in her regardless, I wonder how he will react when he finds out" Kyoya hummed out a laugh. "I'm not sure, but whatever it is it will be interesting"

You likewise hum in agreement "Indeed, although Ayanokoji does not seem to be incredibly happy at Haruhi's presence" Kyoya's gaze panned from you over to where Ayanokoji was sat seething.

"I suppose I should probably check in on our newest addition, make sure she knows the order of things" He decided, standing up "Good idea, we can't be sat together too long, people will start to talk" You joke, making kyoya laugh as much as he can given his near cold exterior. Somehow your engagement had been kept a secret over the years, which worked to Kyoya's advantage given that he is a host.

"Kyoya" You spoke one last time, causing him to turn back to you "Don't be too harsh on her" Kyoya has a tendancy to casually throw around the power of his family name often, including the secret police that answer to him , and you knew that well.

"For you, my dear, I will" You tried to disguise the blood rushing to his face, he had never called you by any endearments before, in fact he had never treated you with anything more than cordiality. Maybe you were overthinking it, he was probably just playing into the joke that you had started.

You tried to wave it off, you know that he doesn't have any romantic or even platonic interest in you. But there was hope, you just had to be patient with him.

At the end of what must have been a tiring day for Haruhi she flopped down on to a nearby sofa that you happen to be sitting on the other end of.

"They're a lot aren't they?" You try to console her as she tried to wrap her head around what on earth the past few hours had been. "I don't know how you put up with them" You laugh a little "They really aren't that bad, in time you'll come to enjoy their company"

"I did not know that you were engaged to Kyoya" you nodded, placing down your tea cup on the table. "We try to keep it to a need to know basis, I transferred here when I started high school so no one knew me and we figured that since Kyoya is a host it would be better to keep it a secret, the only people who know is the other club members and,well, yourself."

"I suppose that makes sense, if I am being honest y/n, I'm glad that there is someone reasonable around here"

"If I am being honest also Haruhi, I am glad you are here for the same reason, and don't worry, I'll keep your secret if you keep mine"

Thanks for reading <3 reply to be added to taglist!

[sushiisiu]

i always get a little sad when people tell me they like scollace from just my fan art and haven't checked out any of the source material because like nothing i make is going to ever fully represent their dynamic and the joy of shipping to me is really engaging with the canon material and going crazy over breaking down the crumbs of content. and it's a nice comic series! even just watching the anime you're missing out on a lot without context from the comics.

so i guess for the record for anyone who's interested but don't know where to start, /especially/ if you're just here for roommate yaoi. start with the comics. it's the most "scollace-heavy" and it's only 6 books. starting with the anime would probably leave you really confused on why anyone ships them (or what's going on if this is your first exposure to scott pilgrim media) the movie is a fine entrance piece also, imho. like it lets you in on the dynamics between each character and the general plot (even though the characterization is pretty boiled down, but hey a lot of shots are 1:1 to the comics so that's fun.) but yeah. don't let my silly gay drawings dictate your shipping takes. read the books yourself! they're fun and if you're a fresh adult that still feels perma-14 you'll probably find it fun too.

also they're stupidly domestic all the time

[jediwizard]

It's crazy how Alice creates the most diverse but also relatable characters. There are characters of different sexual orientations, different races, genders, mental illnesses, family life and eating disorders. They're all so different??? but there's something that binds them all together. For example, I relate to Tao and his love for films but I also relate to Georgia with her loyalty to her friends, and I relate to Tori but I relate to Frances and her obsession to do well in school and not be a disappointment, but I relate to Lister but I... They're all different, but there's something so familiar about them and you can see similar traits in each of them in yourself. you're never just one character, but a perfect mix of a bunch of them. I feel like a collage or mosaic of my favourite characters. Not just the four of them, but all the characters, like Aled Last, Micheal Holden and Elle Argent.

Alice Oseman's characters radiate comfort and warmth. Her books give the same vibes as curling up in you're cozy messy bed after an exhausting day at school or work, buried under a mountain of blankets when it rains or snows outside. The months between September and February when the sun sets early and you get to wear extra layers of clothes like that oversized black hoodie to cover your face from the unfamiliar or jean jacket covered in fandom pins. Returning to your room filled with artifacts from your childhood, old middle-grade fantasy books you haven't touched in like four years but wouldn't sell or donate because they mean too much, book reports and DIY science projects from 3rd grade and that movie poster filled haven where you could leave the stresses of the real world behind.

All the lights are off, except for those fairy string lights above your bed. You're sipping a hot cup of tea or hot chocolate, rereading your old favourite books you loved as a teenager and watching that old favourite film that you've seen so many times that you can remember all the dialogue to, but you watch it anyway. Listening to that carefully curated 90s indie rock playlist from 2019 to drown out and forget the world outside. listening to artists like cavetown, girl in red, the 1975, Arctic monkeys, phoebe bridgers and the smiths. staying up wayyyy too late, the only light being the screen of your laptop or phone, reading fan fiction on AO3 while your whole family's asleep. That warmth and authenticity that you don't find much in modern media. The nostalgia. How she accurately portrays what actual teenagers are like, both the good and the bad. and every other feeling in between. confusion and the odd feelings of growing up, especially how characters like georgia and Nick never realized their sexualities until later (it can be nerve-wracking to figure something out), but also people who have known who they are since forever like frances and charlie. knowing yourself but also feeling like a complete stranger in your body. i don't know how, but even if you're reading it for the first time, @chronicintrovert books have the feeling of returning home.

[evanbuckleyrecs]

Any recommendations on hurt-comfort Buddie that will make you cry? HEA please!

I started to answer this but accidentally clicked on a Tumblr link so I gotta start over 😂

I haven't read Buddie fics in a while so these are a bit older. (I'm going to catch up soon! I've just been in a phase where I'm either reading Teen Wolf fics or physical books)

Also haven't updated my bookmarks yet. Sadly a lot of great authors I'd normally recommend have turned anti-Buddie since April and I'd rather not promote them in Buddie posts if they're not safe to follow anymore as a Buddie fan.

Please check the tags of a fic before reading in case something is triggering for you!

the things that haunt me in the middle of the night by justhockey

2,4k, rated G

He gasps for breath and it feels like a reflex - like coming up for air after being sucked under. Like a desperate, manic thing.

He’s safe, he knows that. Knows he was never really in much danger anyway. But the sound of it all - the waves, the rain, the crashing and the thundering - it echoes in his head, ricochets through his bones. It lives inside of him, he guesses, even after all these years. That fear, the exhaustion, the crippling terror of finding the surface only to realise that Christopher was gone.

He rubs at his sternum, tries to breathe deeply, tries to blink away the memories of the day the water nearly took everything from him.

I let my guard down by bucksclipboard

6,5k, rated M

"It didn’t stop. Buck went from hoping the packages were from someone special to suspecting someone was toying with him. The hopeless romantic in him was slowly wilting. When he opened the latest letter, suddenly he was not so sure his secret admirer was of the good-natured kind. "

or: who needs police protection when you have eddie diaz by your side?

Cut me slack (I've watched your heart stop) by kat_atthewisco

Rated G, 5,4k

“Well, unfortunately I am calling you specifically for your role as Mr. Buckley’s power of attorney. He does need a couple of decisions made about his care that he’s not fit for at the moment. If you’re able to get here soon that would be best, I can’t tell you much over the phone.” To her credit, Deirdre does sound apologetic, and Eddie’s panic has begun to ratchet back up.

“I’ll be there as fast as I can, is he- please, how bad?” Eddie repeats.

In which Eddie gets The Call from Cedars-Sinai while he's off work thanks to a healing injury. Being Buck's emergency contact is suddenly a very real thing.

Never More To Leave Here by devirnis

Rated T, 10,2k

"Can you remind my brother that we were supposed to get lunch?” Maddie asks.

“Uh sure,” Eddie says slowly, confused. “But why don’t you just call him yourself?”

“I did, a couple times, but he didn’t answer. I assumed he was still with you?”

Eddie thinks back to last night, to Buck specifically making plans to go back to his own place so he wouldn’t be late for lunch with Maddie. Buck had texted him when he got home, just a simple night :) that still made Eddie’s heart flutter, so obviously Buck had made it back to the loft… But there haven’t been any texts from Buck all morning. Not that that is necessarily unheard of, but especially over the last few weeks it’s become rarer and rarer for even a few hours to go by without Eddie’s phone dinging with a message notification from Buck.

A small tendril of worry curls around Eddie’s ribs.

BTHB: locked up & left behind

Diagnosis: Dumbass by snarkymuch

Rated T, 2,7K

Christopher scrunched his face, then stopped rummaging through his pack to grab something from the ground—something that turned out to be his phone.

“No, nope—who do you think you’re calling?” he asked, trying to reach for it, but Christopher had already hit the button, dialing someone—whom he’d bet anything was his father.

Christopher pulled away, out of reach, phone to his ear, then a moment later saying, “Yeah, I’m okay, dad—yeah, I know—no, but he fell out of a tree—”

“He is fine, though!” Buck yelled, hoping to stop the inevitable freakout from Eddie. “Eddie, do you hear me? I’m fine!”

--or--

Buck takes Chris out for a light hike, somehow ends up falling out of a tree, and Chris patches him up while waiting for his dad to arrive.

Presumed Dead by inkonmyheartandonthepage

Rated G, 4,4K

The fresh air was supposed to have been good for Buck. A small hike that he had done a million times. A nice hike that gave him a workout and at the same time allowed him to sift through his thoughts and feelings and to focus on what he really wanted.

Instead, he’s stuck in the middle of nowhere at a rest stop watching some asshole drive away in his jeep.

OR

The 118 crew arrive a fender bender only to find it's Buck's jeep on fire and the body inside dead and burning.

The monsters turned out to be just trees by Ink_Dancer

Rated T, 8,4k

Buck and Eddie are searching for a missing person, and they're already lost in the woods when Buck gets injured and makes their situation a lot more complicated. With the sun going down, they're forced to spend the night outside, with only each other for warmth and shelter.

(set post-buck's recovery from the firetruck, but no other specific time markers. nebulously within the show's canon.)

It's what my rotting bones will sing when the rest of me is dead by heartbeatdiaz

Rated T, 12,4k

"Eddie? Eds, can you hear me?” Buck rubs his knuckles against Eddie's sternum, a little too harsh, a little too desperate. "Eddie!"

Eddie croaks out a weak, barely there, whine as Buck's knuckles do the trick and his eyes open in slits.

"Evan?" He chokes out, his voice so hoarse and raspy that it must have been hurting his throat. "You're real?" He whispers in awe, his hand twitching as his side like he wants to reach up to Buck— touch his face— but he's too weak to do that. Eddie's brow furrowed but a small smile graces his lips, barely there. "I didn't give up. I made it home to you."

or;

the one where a call goes wrong and leaves everyone thinking eddie was dead, buck finds about the will through a letter and comes to some other revelations in the process.

and in which eddie finds his way back home and finally gets to be happy with the love of his life.

BTHB Prompt: Missing and Presumed Dead

Let me go by tawaifeddiediaz

Rated T, 8,1K

For the first time since he met him, he wasn’t sure where Buck was, and it was driving him insane. His shift ended three hours later than Eddie on Tuesdays, and today, he had texted saying that he was going to pick up groceries.

After that, he hadn’t returned back home.

Kindness: What Connects Us by FandomLife54

Rated T, 9,6k

Still off balance, Buck slams his left heel onto the roof, heaving forward to catch the collar of that yellow shirt. And there’s no conscious decision making here. It’s all instinct, and he’s grateful for it. If he’d given his overzealous mind the chance to consider another way, he would have missed his shot. Instead, his arms hurl the boy into the hands of another survivor...

And his right foot misses the edge.

OR

Buck catches Chris before he rolls off the firetruck, and it's him who falls back into the retreating waters of the tsunami. Unconscious and seriously injured, he's unaware that his team has been searching for him, never giving up as the days pass.

A leaf falls on loneliness by iimpossible_things

Not rated, 11,1k

Buck doesn’t think that if he were to say, “I’m in a bad place”, that anyone would turn him away. Really, he doesn’t. The 118 has too many good, kind people for that.

But every time he wants to open his mouth, to say something, to reach out to Eddie or Bobby or Hen or Chim, he hears Eddie yelling, “you’re exhausting.”

—you’re exhausting, you’re exhausting, you’re exhausting—

So each day he does his job and he laughs and he jokes and he pretends he’s the care-free goofball he’s always been. And each day he packs away his bruises and his worries, takes them home to his empty loft with its quiet rooms, and licks his wounds in silence.

And I watched a part of myself die 'cause no amount of freedom gets you clean by himbobuckley

WARNING: rape/non-con. Rated T, 10,2K

Buck goes out drinking after a particularly tragic call and the night takes a turn for the worse when he's targeted and assaulted. Struggling in the aftermath and unsure how to handle it, Buck tries to distance himself from his friends and family, believing that with time he can simply move past it on his own. Eddie notices something is wrong with Buck and desperately tries to get through to his friend, fearing the worst.

or:

Buck goes through the fucking ringer. eddie notices something's horribly wrong. you can contact my lawyer for emotional damages.

or:

“I heard about what happened yesterday,” Eddie says softly. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there. And that I didn’t know. I should’ve gone out with you, or made you come over, or-”

“Eddie,” Buck interrupts. “It’s- it’s okay. I just went out drinking. It’s fine.”

“Drinking alone?”

“Yeah,” he stammers. “Yeah, alone.”

“Hey listen, why don’t you come over tonight? We can do a movie night. And… I have something to tell you.”

“I’m sorry, Eddie,” Buck murmurs, feeling the tears welling up again. “I don’t think I can tonight.”

“Hey, wait Buck-”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Blue skies by spaceprincessem

36,7k, rated T

“Most babies are born as accidents,” She says suddenly, like she’s decided that Buck has passed, that she can trust him with this.

Buck doesn’t really have an answer because that question hits way to fucking close to home. A year or so ago he would have said, yes, I was an accident, so I know how that goes, but Buck knows better now. Knows that he would almost give anything for that answer to still be yes. Evie’s finger works under the seal to rip it open, a stack of important looking papers dumping out onto the table in front of her.

“Not me,” she says without looking up as she organizes them into a neat stack, “I was engineered.”

And.

And Buck’s pretty fucking sure a giant, cataclysmic hole has ripped right open, dragging him down to the earth’s core where he vaporizes into dust.

{or Buck meets another savior baby and everything comes crashing down}

Leave The Light On (I'll Be Coming Home) by HMSLusitania

Rated M, 44,4k, fandom classic

“We’re here for our grandson,” Helena says.

“Chris is still sleeping,” Buck says.

“I meant, we’re here to take him back to Texas,” Helena clarifies.

“Yeah,” Buck says. He’s too tired, way too tired to be tactful. “Over my dead body.”

--

An accident on a call leaves Buck with custody of Chris after Eddie is... missing presumed.

While they navigate their new family circumstances -- and fight to stay together, despite Eddie's parents' best efforts -- a John Doe wakes up in a coma ward with no memory of his own life beyond the knowledge he has a son named Christopher and, somehow, he needs to get home.

Over The Age, Over Again by mintedwitcher

Rated E, 16,5k

EXCERPT:

He would’ve fallen down the cliffside if it hadn’t been for Bobby on the winch. Because that… that’s Buck’s jeep. There’s no denying it, no mistaking it. That is Buck’s jeep. Hanging almost sideways off a ledge, the driver’s side doors flung open with the force of the fall. And further down… no. No it can’t be… a man, smashed against the rocks. A massive pool of blood. But Eddie can see the familiar white sneakers against the dirt.

No Sight For Heart Eyes by znks

Rated E, 20,5k

“Buck, Karen, and Eddie stayed on the couch and talked while the kids settled on the floor to draw. It all felt so wonderfully normal that Eddie found himself forgetting that he hadn’t just closed his eyes in serenity as he leaned against Buck.

That’s what made the spell breaking so painful.

“Dad! Look! I drew the firetru- Oh, wait, it’s okay you can see it when you’re all better!” Christopher said it so cheerfully, not even hesitating before going back to swapping out pens with Denny.

But Eddie felt it like a shot to the chest.

He couldn’t see his son’s drawings.

Buck and Karen had barely paused in the conversation, but Eddie could hear how strained it became, both of them obviously knowing exactly how heartbreaking the moment had been. Buck’s arm wrapped more tightly around Eddie’s waist, chin resting on his shoulder.”

losing your sight for a week sucks but at least eddie has buck to guide him through his healing or at least through his own house

This has inspired me to go read more recent hurt/comfort Buddie fics! I haven't been super active on this account but hopefully I can update this soon :)

[knightyoomyoui]

TWICE Sana x M/F Reader - "I Want It That Way"

I'M BACK. After 3 months of no update, your one and only Knight Yoo-Myoui returns to bring you readers more stories in my book. Author's been in a really tough situation especially last month, but that still ain't gonna be enough to take out my passion and motivation to continue writing for both mine and your entertainment. I'm gonna continue this as long as I can. However, from now on; please understand and expect that I won't be updating very often like weekly or everyday as before. Studies is my current priority as of the moment but I promise that I will always update yall. Actually though, this new kind of pacing for both my writing procedure and publishing has somehow lessen the pressure in me. I'm really liking it so far, makes me comfortable. This story is requested by ShaShaSha029 BUT..., sorry Sha because I made some changes on your requested plot hehe. I already made the same concept from my previous works so I used your other request from another member to come up with something new that I haven't done yet. And as for the other member you requested to me, I'll give you a brand new plot for her. I hope you and the readers will like this. Enjoy reading! STREAM "I GOT YOU" and "ONE SPARK" MVs btw!

"I'm going home, guys. I'll leave the office to you all."

YN/LN, a current 4th year student from Cheongnamdong Polytechnic University and the campus' ongoing president of the student council, has just finished your tasks for today and is now about to depart from their office and send your goodbyes to your fellow members kindly to end the day on a positive note.

"Be safe on your way home, Pres!"

"You too."

You continued walking after sending him all the bright greetings, but before passing to your own cubicle and reaching the door, it opened. You then heard some footsteps behind it until a familiar figure made its presence known in front of you.

You watched your classmate, friend, and the secretary of their council, Yoo Janghoon, peeking at the door with a weird smile before you find him standing on your way.

Janghoon then approached YN.

"Seems like you're about to leave."

"Yeah." You nodded. " What's with your smile in your face? You look like you just saw something amusing.", he said in a judgmental look.

"Not with my own eyes, but the words I've heard are enough to picture her on mind." Janghoon smirked and bounced his brows.

"Her? You're into hunting chicks again?"

"Idiot, I have a girlfriend now, ofcourse I'm not." Janghoon mocked YN as he was about to throw a punch. "But seriously though, not even me could deny that it really does interest me."

"Why, what's going on out there?"

"Well, I've heard from my acquaintances from the other courses that there's a newly transferred female student here in the campus earlier after the class break."

"That late?"

"Yeah, I was a bit confused too but they said the professor just let it passed because they said that her documents were finalized at the last minute so that's why." YN hummed to react.

"And would you like to enlighten me what's so interesting with this random transferee student? I mean, no offense. Welcome aboard to the university but... what's special?"

"Dude, I'm telling you, it's not just "random", this girl was a legit bombshell. Based from how they described her, it was like when she stepped on the room, they felt like there was a legit goddess that got manifested into reality."

"And that's it?"

"Y-yeah... but you know and I know, dude. Our university has been missing it's "queen" for quite some time now. And probably the students are making noise about it is because they see a huge potential on her."

"Okay. Well, I do hope she doesn't feel overwhelmed with the attention she's about to receive on the next days of her stay here."

"But we're here as the council officers to take control, right?"

"Exactly." you nodded. "Anyways, gotta go now. I still have a family dinner not to miss."

"Alright, take care pres."

"You too, sec."

You left the office and the campus with a curiosity forming in your heart and mind on the identity of this woman that has been the center of the gossips you were unaware of due to how busy you are on the duties.

Arrived at home, you entered and got welcomed by your mother who is preparing their table for a lovely dinner tonight while your father is busy watching basketball on the living room.

"Good evening, mom."

"Good eve, YN. Tired?", she said while placing the plates on the table.

"Not that much but I would be glad to rest as always.", you spoke with a timid smile.

"Perfect, meal's coming right up real soon. Join your father there, okay?"

"Okay. Thanks, mom."

You walked near to your father and greeted him courteously. You sat beside him and laid your back comfortably on the soft cushion of the couch to release all the pent-up exhaustion your body has consumed on today's packed class schedule.

Minutes later, your mother commands both you and your father to position yourselves on the seats. Each grabbing their own meal, all of you started praying first before taking your first bites and swallow on such a delicious food.

"Uhm, dear. We want to talk to you about something." Your mother inserted a topic to be discussed.

"Sure, mom. I'll be listening. What is it about?"

"It's like a business talk but this also concerns about your personal life too, YN which we much rather prioritize." Your father said after swallowing his throat. "We meet up with our partners on the company regarding this and we all come to an agreement."

"Agreement to what?"

"Me and your mother are placing you in an arrangement contract with their child."

"Wait, come again?"

"Arrangement contract. It means we set you up with someone as your age to date and marry one day, and we figured out that to strengthen the connection between us, we decided to-"

"Yes, wait. I know that part, dad but... why need to? Wasn't it too early? I get that you want me to have a wife and a family someday but... it's not one of my priorities so far.", you complained.

"YN, please do understand that your mother and I ain't be getting younger as time goes on. Someday, you'll be alone, and we just wanted to give you another family that you would be glad to remain and... hopefully, to remember us like how we raised you from the beginning."

"But wasn't this too fast? You're making me rush things."

Both sides went silent, as the father felt guilty also for how true your words are.

"It's my life. You may be the one who gave me that but I developed and earned a right to decide what's right for my future."

"We know, son... but we had no choice. It's for the sake also of our business. You know that we have to keep it to the mountain top so that we don't have our efforts of raising it go to waste, especially when this is the main reason how me and your mother were able to give you a better life that you deserve. And some way or another, you will be for sure, the one who will take the mantle and own my properties. You can use it also to raise your family easier."

"We are not forcing you to do this, YN. Please, we just wanted to inform you and talk about this because you also have a side and opinion to be heard. Whatever your answer may be, we will respect it. We are just suggesting, but hopefully you can consider it, honey." Your mother's soft voice effectively kept you at ease more.

Taking deep breaths and a short length of silence to contemplate, you looked at them both as you made your choice. "Fine. This is because I love you both and I owe you two everything. I'm doing it."

They both smiled in relief. "Thank you for this, son/daughter."

"No problem. So... can you tell me more about this contract?"

"Well it's simple, an arranged contract but we requested to have you and the girl we chose to spend 30-days or let's say a month to get to know each other and figure things out if you two would believe that everything will work out as a couple." Your father explained.

"And who's the girl that you guys have prepared for me?"

"They have an only child just like us, and it's an easier idea to place her because as we learned, their daughter is currenly in search of finding somebody to love."

"Sadly, we're unalike."

"But she may be able to change your mind, on whatever that hold your heart back. You accepted the offer, now you just have to see how she really is, but we're certainly sure that she's good just like her parents."

"And what's her name?"

"We haven't been introduced nor asked for her name, but from what we know, her nickname should be "Minatozaki", and is Japanese. She was also studying now at the same campus as yours."

"I'll try to look for her and maybe we can talk there privately."

"Whatever you want, YN. Just keep us updated okay?"

"Noted." You replied before everyone returned on focusing to finish their foods.

The next day, you were a bit irritated from how the discussion last night distracts you in the middle of your duty. You couldn't concentrate at the curiousity that dwells inside of you.

So you decided to to take a break outside. You encountered a vacant spot to breathe some fresh air and drink at the iced coffee you prepared on your tumbler as you roam your eyes around at your surroundings.

That's where you spotted some group of students huddling around at a spot near the bulletin board, as if they're being crazy or attentive at something.

Eager to find out the rucus, you approached the scenario and tried to peek around, and there you noticed a female student entertaining the other fellow students by asking her randomly and even asking for some pictures like she is a celebrity.

As she turned around, her long chestnut colored hair flips around as if it denied the gravity, her side profile appeared, until it all fully rotated to have her face evident at you for the first time.

And my oh my the rumors shared by your secretary were true.

No wonder why she was already popular, she does look magnificent, enough to be mistaken as a famous personality.

Your eyes couldn't leave the sight of her just doing everything even in such bare minimum if movements that still effortlessly made her very attractive. Thankfully, there's your boy distracting you as you snapped back when you felt a shoulder wrapped on your neck.

"You finally met her." Janghoon said, smirking at you. "From what I heard earlier, the exchange student's name's Minatozaki Sana. She's a foreigner, a Japanese to be specific."

"Minatozaki?" Your thoughts murmured. Contemplating if you heard it right, but that was the same surname your father was tasked you to find, and she even has the same nationality.

Having exchange students in your campus are very rare.

You are flabbergasted as you slowly realize that... this woman is going to be the one you'll date and marry.

Unconsciously, you turned around at Janghoon with your forehead crumpled and mouth slightly gaped.

"What? Did I say something wrong?"

"Oh n-no. Not-thing." You shook your head swiftly. Returning your gaze back at her, you couldn't believe it at all that your parents and her friends does picked a perfect girl for you.

But you wondered if it could be said the same about you.

Hours later, Sana who was about to enjoy her recess, instead went to the council office to meet the president, as per the classmates told her after being tasked to do so.

She stepped in front of the door that says "Student Council Office, knock twice before entering". She followed and slowly pushed the doorknob. A person sitting at the far end of the room, looking busy on his desk greeted her.

As the door closed, it alarmed the president that the person is now here for a scheduled conversation, only that when you raised your head, you looked at her having a shocked reaction.

Sana stares at the reveal of this mysterious person that runs the entire student government of the campus. Flashbacks began to run back into her mind, slowly making her upset.

"Thank you for agreeing to come here and t-"

"Am I looking at this very clearly?" Sana immediately spoke.

"Pardon?"

"You? Out of everyone here... was chosen to become a leader?"

"W-what? Settle down, miss. I think you n-"

"A representative figure for everyone, and I get to be under your orders around here?" Sana chuckled bitterly. "I didn't know that even after years later, we'll still have our paths crossing onto each other despite how I wanted to never meet you in my life again."

"D-do we know each other?"

Sana scoffed as she looked at you ridiculously. "Ofcourse, how could you recognize me. First of all, I was just a complete nothing to you. A plaything of your cruel antics and delinquent actions. And second, I'm not the same girl you used to belittle everyday."

You furrowed your eyebrows as you looked at her intently. "W-what... you..."

"Still doesn't ring a bell? Oh, how about this. The name Minatozaki Sana? That fat nerdy girl back in elementary that you used to bully so hard in our 8th year that forced her to transfer to other school. How about that?"

Your eyes sprung open as you instantly remember the name and that student you used to include in one of your prime victims in your dark past.

That description of her past self brought you back to the times when you remembered looking for her first to rather mock, annoy, or play with her until her feelings broke and look helpless.

You were a bully before in elementary days, and she was your classmate back then. But that was all only the past now as you are now a changed person, with all the better and positive things that came into your life had taught you more valuable and nice things to consider yourself reevaluating your personality.

But it looks like it could tell the opposite for Sana's part.

"I remember you now, Sana. And... please, let me tell you right now that I'm not the same person you used to despise before."

"Do you really think I'll be fooled easily by that?" Sana retorted. "We just met after what... 7 years and you're supposed to have me believing that when in fact, I still look at you as that same horrific figure I never should've want to see again, but yet here you are."

Sana still didn't took a seat. She walked around and observed the room. You were a bit relieved that all of your council members are absent in this tense confrontation. "What a hypocrisy it is to have you getting involved in an organization that focuses on student rights when in fact, you have a record of violating it before. Shouldn't be a student fitting for that must be... clean?"

"Sana, believe me or not, I changed. I wouldn't even dare to take this position if I'm not sincere for it, and I'm not forcing you to believe me."

"Oh, ofcourse you should. Because I really don't buy everything that comes into your mind not until I see it" Sana shook her head and smugged. "Maybe it'll change my mind of me planning to expose you from every-"

"Wait! You can't be serious?"

"Oh indeed I am." Sana clicked her tongue. "You ruined me before, but here I am who helped myself and from people I loved to become this better version of mine to stand here in front of you, I'm going to get you this time, YN. I'm going to make you feel what is it like being... excluded."

She leaned forward on the desk, staring at you sharply and observing your nervous expression. "But...if there's some sort of a miracle that... you did changed. Then you're going to prove it on me. Make me convinced that this YN I hate with every fiber of my being is... gone."

"What if I tell you that you already have a chance to make me?"

"And that is?"

"Have you heard about an arrangement contract from your parents?"

"Y-yeah... but they don't tell me who it is because- WAIT" Sana quickly lunged back away from you. "Please tell me who I'm thinking is correct."

"Sorry to tell you but I was just in denial as you are yesterday."

"Oh God." Sana poured out the biggest disappointment she felt in her entire life so far. "W-why does my fate has to be very unlucky everytime when it's about you? Me being in an arranged contract with you? I think I have to vomit."

"Wait! But you said you want me to prove that I changed?"

"And you really think I want it this way?" Sana looked at you disgusted. "Being as this fabled student council president or just a random student from me would be fine but... YOU AS MY FIANCE? That won't do, mister." Sana swayed her pointing finger. "Unfortunately, the answer would be NO. Now please, I have to go already. I still have a lunch to take before I lose my appetite."

Sana walked away from you and left the room unbotheredly. You sat there, back falling flat on your swivel chair. Your hands caressed your hair as you reacted unbelievably and stunned that this heavily improved Sana that you used to know many years before has returned to actually be your woman, but unfortunately, her hatred for you still lives on her till this day.

Her opposal didn't worked however, as Sana tried to request later during dinner, she was informed by her parents that the contract can only be cancelled after 30-days for the people to finally reassure their decision.

She mentioned that YN and her have a bad history in the past, but instead her parents reasoned out that maybe YN has changed and it will not hurt to give another chance. If only they know what the real reason it is, but Sana was clearly affected by their suggestion because honestly, Sana is a forgiving soft type of person.

Still, confident that she's satisfied with her answer, she became impatient and hated being with YN more.

Meanwhile, you shared to your mother about how the unlikedness of you and Sana's interests about the marriage arrangement in a deatiled manner.

"We met and had a talk, but... it wasn't as proper and civil as I expected because, I was surprised that she confessed something very familiar to me. Something that I've been trying to get it out on my head. Something that I wanted to let go for a long time."

"What was she to you before?"

"A nuisance, even though she wasn't doing even wrong. I look at her before thinking it wasn't right for her to be in this type of high class campus that I study at too, but then I figured out that me ending up bullying and making her emotional and mental state suffer is way worse than she is."

You flinched when your mother slapped you in the head. "What??? How could you bully someone?! Is that how we raised you?"

"Mom, wait ofcourse no... but, I was just made to be like that because of what happened to us, you know that!"

Your mother became speechless and a glimpse of pity became visible to you. "But it's all good now, mom. I'm not like that anymore, I'm telling you.  And that's what I should've just wanted to prove to Sana but... I understand that she won't let me anymore. I broke her too much, I can't let it happen again."

Stepping closer in front of you, she placed her hands gently on your shoulders to massage them and make your ease down. "Even I was mad and disappointed that you once turned into that type of guy you never should be, but I know from the bottom of my heart that you will always be a good kid of mine because that's how I raised you to be. You just got affected too much by our struggles before. And I believe you always, YN. The only thing I can do now for you to support you, and that is for you to keep on moving forward and never stop to make Sana forgive you, alright?"

"I will. Thanks, mom."

She patted you on the cheek. "Goodluck, okay? You have a month to do it."

----------

"Okay, class dismissed. Group 1, remember to prepare your report by next week okay?"

"Yes, prof!", the students who are part of the group that the professor mentioned chanted.

The professor left the room, leaving the students have the freedom to eat lunch during their vacant time.

"Sana, cmon! Did you bring a lunch with you?", one of Sana's classmates asked her while she's clearing her table.

"No, I'm gonna buy for today."

"Nice, let's go!"

Sana brought her wallet and cellphone with her, joins her newfound friends named Miyeon and Sullyoon as they make their way out to the classroom.

However, as they were about to, a figure suddenly pops out of the doorway, stopping their tracks. The two classmates of hers had a visible shock in their faces unlike to Sana, her bright mood quickly shrank down into a gloomy one.

"Hi, sorry if I'm almost late." You straightened your lips. "Good thing I was about to catch you leaving yet, let's go eat lunch together."

Miyeon and Sullyoon's jaw dropped at the student council president's proposal. Sana's eyebrows knitted hardly. "Huh? What nonsense are you saying?"

"Why? I'm just going to invite you to eat with me?"

"With you?" Sana scoffed and chuckled. "You have the guts, I'll give you that... but NO." Sana leaned forward at you to say this.

"Let's go girls."

Sana was just commanding her classmates and taking a step again away from you but in her surprise, she felt her body being pulled by a force. She tried to process what happened, and there she found her skin contacting with yours as she stood by your side...

with your hands wrapped around her waist.

Miyeon and Sullyoon's eyes largened in utter shock at what they're seeing. They couldn't believe that such a new transferee would get to gain closeness and change the behavior of the famously respected and knowned leader of the students around the campus.

Sana's lungs skipped functioning as soon as she felt your fingers dug deeper into her skin. Her face then starts to turn red and her face showing almost hilariously stunned reaction, with no hint of an idea what has turned you to be like this today.

"Pardon me for Sana's antics right now, we just had a fight yesterday and I wanted to come up a solution to fix that." You said in a melodic and apologetic tone to them. Sana was dumbfounded at the ridiculous fake words you are talking about.

"W-wha"

Sana wasn't able to finish her words, when she felt herself getting pulled again, now squeezed against your body which intensified her heartbeat and blushes.

"So, please. Can we eat together today, love?"

Any words that are synonym to what I mentioned earlier can be heavily applied now to all three women witnessing the sudden change of the president's act.

You led the way, bringing Sana with you as both crossed the hallway with the confused and flabbergasted duo following on the back while some of the students can see the two having this kind of contact has began to grab attention.

As they reached the cafeteria, Miyeon and Sullyoon shyly approached the "couple". "Uhm, Sana. I think we can just eat sometime. We'll let you have you two your private time okay?"

"B-but w-"

"Thank you for being considerate on us, girls." You smiled humbly at them and they nodded before they left you and Sana to find their own seat. As the two of you remained, Sana's face crumpled and seethed much air to unleash her full force on escaping to your touch.

She quickly unhooks your arm on her waist, pushed you aside, and punched you in the shoulder. "Oww!"

"Seriously, what the hell did you do to me, YN?!" Sana started to bicker out on you. "How come you just started to spit out and let my friends hear and see you assuming that we have a relationship now, huh?! Did you ate something bad that had you acting like crazy today?"

"Nope. I'm perfectly fine, and what I did there earlier, consider getting used to that." You replied. "Because from now on, I'll be going to do it with you again and again and again a-"

"Woah wait no what?!" Sana paused you. "And why is that, huh? I haven't even agreed yet on the deal-"

"But was the contract got cancelled?"

Sana fell speechless. She remembered yesterday that she swore to dump the contract by requesting to her parents after she gave her disapproval. However, she failed to do so.

You took her silence as yes. "I suppose it didn't. If it does, my parents would've informed me immediately."

"Yeah yeah yeah, you won. So what? You still can't just do it like that to me randomly. I still haven't gave you the consent to touch me or do anything lovey dovey around me. Just because the contract states that we are arranged to be a couple that doesn't mean I can let you easily do everything free around me. Especially when the fact that I still hate you so much." Sana pointed at you as she stares deeply within you.

"Alright, fine. You do have a point. I shouldn't have done it. It's my fault, I made you uncomfortable, and I'm sorry for that." You spoke in a calm tone. Sana got her insides tugged at your sudden softer behavior. "But just know this, I hope you can let me do these with everything I can. No matter how much you deny, we are still stuck in an arranged contract that has a month allowed on us to come up on a decision if we'll take a marriage, and that gives each of us the right to do what couples does.

And I'm going to use it also, for me to prove myself to you that I've changed through all these years, Sana. Consider it me acting or say whatever you want, but when it comes to you, I'll show my improved self and nothing less than that." You said plainly to her. Sana is just listening at you patiently, sticking out important details to her mind while her emotions were a bit being brought by your committed words.

"I can't force you to love me back and have our marriage settled someday after the deadline comes, I wasn't even into love these days but I had no choice but to follow. But, I really do hope that before or when these all ends, I can hear you saying that I am now forgiven."

Sana was struggling to come up for a words to answer, and you took the opportunity to let her have time to remember and process everything as you locate a seat and bought foods for both of you. You left the still pissed off Sana became completely silent and come back to join her in an awkward lunch together.

That went on and on, with you trying to get along with Sana through most of the occasions. You supposed to take it all as a yes coming from Sana that you were being a chance to prove everything to her that you are not this same bad person she used to resist before.

With your frequent actions around Sana led to the campus knowing also about your rumored relationship with her.. Some were supportive that the president finally get to have a girlfriend such perfect as Sana while some were not due to the reason of jealousy most concerning about the fact that they are not the ones standing on the shoes or position of either you or Sana.

That didn't affected both of you, especially Sana who is trying her best to become unbothered with all of these because she is too tired to explain it to many people for some truth that everyone wouldn't accept easily. She knows it all to herself anyway that it's all part of the act, that none of them are interested with each other or has a growing fond being developed.

Not until one day, she accidentally finds you tutoring a female student in the library. She saw how entertained you are on how easily the girl gets to understand quickly with your teaching, thus turning you both looking happy together.

Feeling a bit uncomfortable at the scene, her lips unconsciously forming into a frown. Sana instead leaves the room and went on to return with her friends who noticed her bad mood as she buried her head around her crossed arms on the desk.

It all procceeded until their next subject when the girls tried to approach her about it. "Hey, Sana what's with the grumpy look?" Miyeon said as she peeked at Sana who looks completely out.

"You weren't participating with us lightly, what happened when you left the room earlier?" Sullyoon added.

"Yeah, you seemed in a no good mood."

"Nothing." Sana blabbered.

"Was it YN?"

"I said NOTH-" Sana paused and realized that she just made herself obvious, Miyeon and Sullyoon were just staring at her.

"Welp, that confirms it." Sana sighed. "Care to tell us what's the problem?"

She remained silent. She wasn't sure why she's getting a bit embarassed to reveal it until she also got nervous when her friends began to list down some of the possible things a couple creates problems.

"Was he cold to you today?"

"Hmm maybe you're the one who's not?"

"Or... could it be somebody's jealous-"

"What, no?!" Sana rapidly reacted. Miyeon and Sullyoon exchanged a "gotcha" look.

"Oh unnie, you're too obvious." Miyeon laughed.

"Jealous of what? Or should we say, who?" Sullyoon curiously asked.

"S-stop! I said it's nothing, okay! There's no chance in hell that I am jealous because of him." Sana made a "tch" sound on her mouth. "I don't even like him at all." She rolled her eyes as she whispered it, barely to be heard by her friends who returned focusing on their own. As she was left alone with her trouble, her eyes went staring at the window, she sighed deeply as she felt a strange regret inside her after saying those words while remembering what she saw back in the library.

As if she meant it.

Hours later, Sana bids goodbye to Miyeon and Sullyoon before she walked at the hallway all by herself. She stopped on her steps when she felt this unsettling feeling near her shoulder.

Her head goes turning around, searching for something but was unsuccessfully. Sana sighed and shook her head. "YN isn't coming. That guy/girl is a student council president, Sana. He/she's probably busy." she muttered to herself.

Sana continued to move, with a blank face and a moderate speed. As the afternoon light about to engulf her, she felt her sling bag slowly float, the weight she's carrying quickly became lighter.

Her breath got taken away shortly in surprise until she realized what caught her from that action.

It was you, smiling while standing beside her as you taking off her bag gently from her shoulder.

"May I?"

Sana didn't respond, she just let her arm spread a bit to let the strap fall, easily allowing it to fall from your posession.

"You do look like having a bad day." you peeked at her expression. Sana slightly got shy, and turns her face away as she pouted while rolling her eyes arrogantly.

"You just noticed? I'm always like this whenever you're around me."

"You sure there's nothing more than that? I know it's pretty much of a 'me' problem but... can you be more specific?"

"Oh come on, wasn't that enough for you? Stop triggering me, please. I said what I said, you are an eyesore that's why." Sana crosses her arm. She started to walk down the stairs as you slowly followed her with a faint smile on your lips.

"Okay, if that's what you say. I'll just be here behind you. Too bad, I wanted to lead the way because I want take us somewhere unwinding first." You sighed and tightened your lips. Sana heard it, sensing a weird sensation through her. She must be saying no or even meaner than that, but how come she became more curious?

Sana heaved out a large breath of air before pausing on her walk with a stomp. She turned around to face you as she gestures you to come forward. "It's only because I needed it."

And you grinned thankfully.

The two of you went to a cliff from a road outside of Seoul. Just in time, Sana was about to whine about how dangerous this place you chose until she was distracted of the magnificent sunset in display to the skyview.

Each of you took a picture, with her being first. You clicked the button, instead the shot accidentally captures Sana turning her attention back at you. As she approaches you, you dragged down your phone in embarassment and nervousness that she might found out and suspect that you're secretly spying on her.

"What happened to you?" Sana finds your tensed manner.

"N-nothing. I just... remembered something."

"Weirdo." She teases you. "So what's gotten into you choosing this place. Are you gonna push me there down the cliff to show me your true colors?"

You looked at her exhaustedly, no much in an energy to enlighten or defend yourself. "Say or think of anything suspicious about me, Sana but I wasn't even harming you even in my imaginations anymore." You didn't bother to look at her because all you'll see rather is an irritated, sassy woman whom you had a price to pay for.

"This is my favorite place to chill." You simply answered, leaning at the front of the car and posing your limbs as you supported yourself with your arms pressed on the car. Sana looked at your side-figure.

"I started finding this when me and my mom used to go here when I was young. She was the first one to notice how beautiful the sunset is to watch from here, and I did agree on her... and it turns out to become one of my favorite scenery." Sana just listened to your story as you continue to witness the sun hides from the clouds.

"My mother told me to stay with her longer here because for a moment, she found peace and serenity. She felt like there's nothing to worry about." You paused as you smiled proudly. "She felt like she wasn't going to be alone in this battle she's facing, because I was there by her side. Even though I... wasn't that too much vocal or expressive at what I've gone through in our family, but... my heart knows where I need to stay. Where I can surely find a better outcome for my life someday."

"That's why when the right thing happened one day, I started to listen and follow to my heart first. I kicked out all those delinquent students away from my company and I only remained my wonderful mom and dad... step-dad..." You corrected yourself, Sana shrank her eyes at that intentional pause. "Because it felt like it's the right thing to do, and it did. It helped me to get back up to my feet and reshape myself to become a proper man that my mom always wanted to see in me.

Sana, mind I if ask... am I progressing?"

Sana stares at you as you glanced at her with your glistening eyes full of hope. "I'm not gonna lie this time, but you sure are doing quite an effect on me..." Her voice is slowly decreasing through the words.

"But that won't still change anything about what you did to me before. People can say past is past easily but me? If it wasn't for that, which I don't know... should I say thank you atleast anyway... for motivating me to change my appearance? Lose a massive amount of weight, beautify myself more, get rid of those eyeglasses and braces just so that I can be accepted and liked by many for my features like what you said?" Sana said with a bit of a hatred rising through her again. You remain speechless as you understand why it's driving her mad.

"I achieved a better life too but unlike you, what I did I get? You put me into a trauma that I'm still bringing to myself till this day. Fear and anxious that...  makes me still remember it all."

"I like the passion, YN... but I will never going to forgive you for what you did to me. I will always hate you for that." Sana said it with all honesty. "And that's enough of a reason for me to have no interests on having our deal contract settled."

Heartbroken, you chose to ignore and hide as you have nothing more to do than to accepts her decision. After all, you were the one who already said that you can't force her to make amends with you.

"Understood."

The next week, Sana was about to go downstairs when she found a student sipping lollipop at the corner. The guy looks completely wasted, obviously breaking the proper uniform rules. She decided to ignore him as she continue to go through but insteas, the guy catcalled her before moving on its own, approaching Sana.

"Hi there, hot stuff." The guy said before taking off her lollipop with a slurp. "Where you going at?"

"A-at my class." Sana nervously said.

"Hmmm... okay. Nice and proper, I like it. Ladies like you are easy to be tamed, isn't it?" He smirked menacingly.

Sana stepped back and grabbed her sling bag. "E-excuse me? How dare you-"

"Ohhh, daring. Such a duality we got here huh, I wouldn't mind if you can do switch roles with me, however we can only apply that in the bed."

"Shut up, pervert!"

"Cmon, lady. It's that simply, feel free to take a shot on me, and you can be there to your classroom without a problem."

"And if I don't?!"

"Challenging and fightful, I like that."

"Then you're going to love me."

Sana and the delinquent both became surprised as you made your unexpected emergence from the stairs, hurrying down ss you pushed away the guy and had him bumping his back on the barred metal gate.

"This one's pestering you?" Sana only nodded.

"Ugh shit! Ah, look. It's the bastard of this goddamn student council!" The delinquent said while touching his upper back in pain.

"Choose your words more carefully. I can report you and have you be placed in a sanction that you'll regret."

"Go on, make me. As if I give a shit. This entire university is a complete bullshit anyway. The only reason it got me staying here everyday, is if wasn't for some sexy chicks like here roaming around-" The deliquent didn't had to speak disrespectfully and point at Sana longer as he ate a crunchy right punch from you straight to his face.

"You crazy bitch!"

The guy fights back at you, returning the punch you gave. It agitated you and led yourselves into a brawl that had the groans and growls echoing to the upper floor, catching student's attention. Sana panicked and tasked them to call a guard to seperate the two.

The guy got the advantage during the fight, he continues to give you a barrage of kicks to the waist before he pulled Sana closer to her and inappropriately traced her sides while he chuckles dangerously.

Sana felt disgusted and quickly slaps the guy. "What do you think you're doing, huh? Fucking slut!" He gave Sana a fast backhand slap that had her twirling and crashing next to the metal handles of the stairs.)+•~

You saw what he did, with anger fuming in you, you pulled his leg and sent him down on the ground before you tackled him andgave him multiple punches until the guards and the officials broke up the fight.

"THE TWO OF YOU, PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE. NOW!"

As a result of the fight and from the decision made by the higher ups, the guy was kicked out of the campus for multiple delinquent offenses while you got suspended for your role as the president for a couple of months when they learned that you just did that for self-defense.

Sana was sitting on the bed with the nurse preparing the first aid until you showed up and requested the nurse instead to leave it all on your hands. She hesitated for a minute that you are also bruised but you bargained until she gave up and listened to you as a respect for being a student leader.

Sana in her surprise, watched you sit down and grab the first aid beside you. "W-what are you doing?"

"Treating you."

"Don't make me a baby, YN. The nurse can do it herself."

You just stared at her and Sana felt a bit intimidated. She decided to shut up and forcefully let you do your thing. "Good. Now come closer and lemme see your cheek."

She leaned forward and directed her aching cheek on you. "That idiot." You cursed as you search around the reddening spot. You weren't aware that it was mixed by Sana's blush now to have you staring very closer at her.

You started applying the ice pack around the hurting spot as Sana hissed before she swallowed in her throat and spoke. "T-thank you... for earlier."

"No problem. That's unusual, atleast I got a positive comment from you.

"I- I wasn't expecting you to come to rescue me, okay. And I didn't know how much I needed it."

The awkwardness between each other formed as none dared to speak afterwards when both got lost in their words. However, you started a topic that might break the silence and for Sana to understand more.

"I wasn't always like this."

"I know, you said it. It's just that there's something happened that I don't know-"

"It's my dad." You answered it. Sana looked at you. "I know you've been itching to ask me what exactly happened."

"I just don't want to because I felt like it's not my intention to know more and all I had to do is to understand you because it seemed too personal that I might sound forceful. But I do really wanted to know why." Sana replied. "So... step-dad?"

"No. My biological dad." You revealed. "My original father was abusive to my mom. I learned that he became like that when he started to fell addiction to gambling and other crazy stuffs that risks your money badly. He releases his frustration to my mom until she couldn't take it no more when she heard it loud and clear from my father that he despises her for me not turning out to be the one he's expecting. He always wanted a son/daughter but... nope. That's just all a part of his excuses that made my mom snapped and file a divorce  and report to my dad, and guess what. Her attorney became so interested in my mom and here he is, my mom and my dad broke up and him, who is now my step-dad, saved mom and I." You said as you applied care on her bruises.

Sana looked at you pitifully and for the first time, she frowned for you. "W-why are still helping me or... treating me good, even though I don't return it back at you?"

"Because... I got influenced. At first, I look up to my dad. I thought at first that he was tough, strong... I started becoming like him when him and my mom always gets to have a proble but then I realized that he was a true coward for proving all that by beating up my mom. And she was the one who is actually tough, because despite of all the suffering she took from my dad, she didn't hurt him back physically but that doesn't she has no plans to fight. Because if she does, then I wouldn't be in a better state if it wasn't for her.

So I changed. I took mom as my role model. I remained calm as much as I can. I did it all to reshape myself from the ghost of the past. Now here I am, rather choosing to prove myself and mean it all on my words on you. I don't want to fight anymore to cause trauma, Instead, I'll do in a need to protect the people who are close to me."

Sana tied all the strings together, and it did finally all comes to a clear point that it wasn't really your fault that you turned out to be that reckless bully that she had to go through a hard time before. She would be lying if she won't admit that she is a supporter of a belief that people can change, and it comes through this moment that she decided that she can use that phrase for good.

"There, all done." You said as you tucked all the hair to her ear and patted the bandage firmly on her face. Sana was just staring back at your tender and admirable demeanor. "Does it still h-"

"I forgive you."

"..."

You fell silent. That was very out of nowhere, but suddenly it got so uplifted to hear that successfully.

"Y-you do?"

"And we still have a week remaining ahead of us. We can use it to finally be able get along together."

You smiled widely as you saw how Sana's bright and cute grin shines right in your eyes. She looked so beautiful, and you even felt more guilty and poor for her on vanishing this irresistable kine of joy within her before.

"Yeah we can. T-thank you a lot, Sana."

Sana patted your hand to calm your happiness down. She smiled as she stared down at your hands stacked together. She took a grip on it and even felt the heat crawling through her skin, sending to her overflowing emotions in her heart.

It actually does look... fitting in her opinion. And she even agreed more to herself when she looked back up to see the owner of the hand she would actually love to hold more in many occasions.

That moment, Sana confirmed to herself that she has now began to discover a liking on you, who is also discreetly sharing the same serenade as her too.

Days after you and Sana tried to start this brand new closeness both of you has started for each other, its aftermath had left you ran out to became so overwhelmed about it, now that have reminded you of something that requires to be done more important before the expiration was reached.

You wanted to be happy because you have now made peace with Sana, but today wasn't the right time for you to celebrate fully.

Too much occupied on spending time for each other, that it almost made both forgot that you had to deal with a serious matter when the next day comes.

Your mood disrupted as you got conscious of the date today, not even Sana's bubbly personality can distract you from it or anything. You couldn't even join her as you remained watching her instead for some reason.

"You seem like you're in deep thoughts again, YN." Sana poked you with the tip of the ice cream she bought. "Are you okay?"

You didn't answer right away as it took time for you to snap back into your senses and found yourself being confronted by Sana.

"Y-yeah."

A lie. Sana detected that disturbing twitch of a forced smile on your lips.

"Really, what's going on? I know i've seen this last time on you getting blacked out of nowhere but this one feels different."

"How can you say?" You asked in a dead tone.

She shrugged and opened her ice cream first before she continued speaking. "That something's definitely bothering you. You're so stiff and uneasy. Does it makes you scared?"

"M-maybe it is..."

"Care to share what it is then?"

You were about to respond but Sana introduces you to her cold palm blocking your sight.

"But first, eat your ice cream. It's gonna melt, plus... it's my favorite flavor, okay? I don't want it getting wasted." She pouted adorably.

You chuckled and sighed as you opened your ice cream. "Delicious."

"Who? Me or the ice cream?"

"W-what?" You looked so baffled at her suspicious remark.

She laughed loudly at your embarassed expression. "I'm sorry- it's just... you keep on staring at me while you're licking it and commenting it for me. I thought you're teasing me so... I tried to get back on you."

"S-stupid, you and your pervy thoughts..." You rolled your eyes and blushed intensely at her own silliness. "And what if I say you?" you smirked a little and glared at her.

"Then I don't mind having you grab a taste as much as you like~" Her eyes didn't even had to glare back at you to look flirty and seductive, instead aura changed on its own as Sana ensures that the one who started this kind of fun won't end up getting defeated in the end.

You gulped and looked away from her enticing look as she wheezes. "Sorry, what's gotten over me. Anyways, let's go backto where we left. Oh yeah, what's making you scared?"

You had to compose yourself before replying to her. "Of us. Certainly... for you."

"Why?"

"I can't tell if this luck that I have of making myself had to witness this whole you being... just the way you are is only temporary for me to see, because I fear that... I might lose this... real you, again." You said.

"I appreciate the consideration YN but, risks are inevitable okay? It's fine to take it as long as it won't step or abuse my whole being again." Sana said. "I know you're scared but... face your fears. This is why you seek for another opportunity, right? To make things right."

"But would it be wrong for me if..."

"If...?" Sana waited for your next words to follow up.

Your heartbeat quickened, nerves trembling, emotions rising, as there's no going back once you have revealed this secret you have been keeping from her in weeks. "Would it be wrong for me if I don't just want you as a friend anymore? That I also began to admire you more than that?"

Sana's smile dropped. Her gaze went more focused on you as she couldn't believe what she's hearing. "Y-you like me?"

"I know it's ridiculous of me to say that to you, because I feel like I don't have the right to feel this way because I made you like this... forcefully with my wrongdoings. But, I don't know why my heart is being like this." You said to her.

"Maybe it's due to what I've said to you last time that I started to follow what my heart wants, and it pains because... I feel like this is what I may be missing after all these years when I rather ending up hurting you against my will. And now it makes me worry if I continue this feeling i'm having now that we have buried your hatred, I might lose this... bright side that depicts the real you, Sana. That I mercilessly thrown away when we first met.

I don't want to let it go but... I couldn't  get rid of this feeling in me, even after you told me you have declined our contract, I'm heartbroken but I still keep on loving you." You started tearing up. For the first time, Sana has fully visualized this fragile self of yours and it truly does hurt her deep inside.

"But I don't want you to pity me. I still respect your decision, but... for the last time... a last hope in me, I just want to ask... do you... still want to reconsider it?"

You looked at her with your poor eyes. Sana got her breath taken away by your weakened state. Her heart crumples in pain seeing you like this because you are heavily concerned of something that you don't even had to.

Because she likes you too, and you don't even know yet.

If your heart chooses her, her heart needed you more.

"I'm sorry..." is what came out as a whisper to Sana's shaking tone. Your heart shattered and there's your last hope disappeared like a popped bubble in the air. She was about to speak but you interrupted her.

"I see. I get it, no matter how much a person forgives you for your sin, there's always be time that would grant you the punishment for wasting that moment that you should've been good rather. A karma, in short. And this one, is what I have to bring and suffer for the rest of my life."  You said to her with a bitter smile. Sana was in awe at your guilty pronounce.

"I enjoyed our time but I think I have to go now, Sana. I'm sorry." You excused yourself to Sana as you emptied your ice cream and left her speechless on your spot with her. Her frozen consciousness has what costs her to respond late to unable to catch you as you walked away from her sight.

Sana was left in distraught, as the words she was about to say and the entirety of your confession sinked down to her.

March 31. The day of the proclaimation has come. The month is ending and that means the contract has reached its breaking point. You and Sana met again in the court along with your parents in each of your sides.

Both parties are worried and confused on why you and Sana seemed so dull and devastated that neither couldn't look at each other's eyes anymore. This is what you feared, and the regret is eating you up again so bad.

"Mr/Ms. LN, are you in favor of the contract to be published and hereby signed by you?"

"I do, your honor." You said. You wanted to give it up but you chose to fight for what you have desired more. You wanted to be with Sana longer, and even if it won't grant you the same opportunity, it doesn't matter. Atleast you have become honest to your heart that you would've love to have her as yours.

Sana's lips trembled as she tried to fight the tears about to pour down on her face but was unsuccessful that the judge had to halt the question. It breaks your heart more to see her in an emotional breakdown in front of you.

"Miss Minatozaki, are you okay?"

"I... I'm not..." She sniffed her nose and wiped her tears before proceeding. " I'm not in favor of the contract, your honor."

Your family and Sana's both were in shock and saddened. You weren't surprised, but you are surely devastated that she is really this a hundred percent certain of her decision.

"Are you sure with your answer, Miss Minatozaki? You look hesitant. Perhaps you can provide a clear explaination why you still responded the opposite?"

"I'm really not in favor of the contract, your honor." Sana shook her head. She wiped her tears again before she stepped forward and came closer to you.

"Because I don't want to have it done arranged."

Your eyes widened. The collective gasps of the both sides can be heard from the court.

"I'm rather hesitant because I want to be with you more, YN... but not through this. I want us to build the story of our relationship through our own. I want it that way, not this where others had to dictate and rush us how things should go for us." She apologetically looks back at yours and her family, and gladly they nodded understandably at her point.

She immediately pulls you into a hug so tight that you wouldn't even care also if you got suffocated into her endearing gesture of what finding your home should feel like. "I'm glad that you didn't let go, YN... because I love you too."

She sobbed into your shoulder and you gave up with your emotions as flood of tears fell down on your face, but this time it was all full of joy and relief. You reciprocated her action as you wrapped her body into your own embrace and cuddled her head on your side.

"Thank you... thank you for giving me a chance, Sana. I'll do everything I can not to ruin this. I love you.

She leans away fron your shoulder and holds your shoulders as she traces your face super close between each other. "I'm so proud of you, YN. You deserve it."

"And yes, I would be glad to be your girlfriend... and your future wife soon." She winked before she pulls your head next for a wholesome romantic kiss.

Your families and even the judge clapped and congratulated in support for your newfound stronger relationship with Sana since this is a sight to behold seeing two couples aren't destined to be torn apart from each other... but rather to stay together forever despite all the harsh and crucial situations they had gone through.

Love, in cooperation with time; always finds a way to connect two people's hearts no matter how long it might take, and this... is the way their story had to go.

[kitorin]

LOVE ALL PLAY. - ITOSHI RIN

THREE - TWO IDIOTS, A GENIUS, AND THEIR COMPANION.

contents. no warnings, smau

"I already want to go home." Rin mutters under his breath, thigh bouncing under the table as he stares at the first problem.

The combination of letters and numbers are quite grotesque, and the instructions are asking for far too much (how is he supposed to figure about what it was? It's unknown for a reason). Rin scrunches his nose in disgust at the sight, so does Isagi, who runs his hand through his hair while staring at his notebook. Shidou on the other hand was perfectly unbothered (as expected) as he displays discourtesy in the library's private room, resting his feet and legs onto the table (Rin thanks himself for sitting away from him).

"I need help." At least Isagi was willing to reveal his confusion, Rin reminds himself to listen in carefully to the explanation. It's not that math is too hard, but that he hasn't seen anything like this before.

"Save it 'til the end. I'm working on somethin' for a bit." He doesn't look away from his phone, and from the way he picked his nose and watched with half lidded eyes, he obviously wasn't concentrating on anything. "Wait for the others."

"Who? I thought it was just us." Rin diverts his attention away from the question, the mere sight of mathematics was enough to make him nauseous.

"'Was'." Shidou still doesn't look up from the screen. "Isagi over here found people willing to help your dumbass." Rin opens his mouth to defend himself, but Shidou continues before he could do so. "They should be here anytime soon, oh, they just texted. Finding us right now."

The senior's lack of attention and care only frustrated Rin further, he's not quite sure if he hates the word problems or Shidou more.

"Who did you invite?" He wants to trust Isagi enough to find someone reliable, but that was difficult after Yukimiya grouped him with Shidou.

Isagi remains silent, as he rushes over to the door to open it when he hears a knock. "Hiori! Thank you for your time today." He greets him enthusiastically, bowing at an almost 90 degree angle, mannerisms flustering the taller boy.

"There's no need to be so formal—We're happy to help and it'll be good revision for us, especially since it's earlier than we usually study." He ushers Isagi to stand up straight, reminding him that formalities were unnecessary since they were the same age. "You must be Shidou?"

Finally, Shidou puts his phone away. "Yeah, thanks for helpin' us out with this idiot."

Rin interjects. "There's two of us."

"No, there's one of you, and there's Yoi. Yoi's cute. You are not." Shidou doesn't even spare a glance in Rin's direction. "Your brother on the other hand—that man is adorable."

Rin scowls. "Don't even call him that."

"Fine, he's my cutie patootie."

"The fuck does that mean?"

Shidou crosses his arms in attempt to mock Rin. "He's my pookie bear."

"Worst one by far."

As Rin finds himself more disgusted by Shidou's peculiar infatuation with his older brother, Isagi and Hiori didn't pay much attention to their conversation.

"y/n's here." Hiori points at somewhere out the door, down the corridor and Isagi peers outside to check. "They were at the bathroom."

"And why is that fucker here?" Rin regrets speaking, his harsh tone making Hiori flinch. He had no problem with Hiori, but he can't help how the thought of you makes his skin itch with agitation.

Panicking, Isagi inserts himself in the space between Rin and Hiori. "I invited them—They're both really smart and willing to help."

"Rin Rin!" To which, Rin groans. "I had no idea you could read a book, let alone study."

He scowls. "Very funny. As if you haven't heard me answer our teacher."

You shrug, actions and words dripped with sarcasm. "I dunno, if you really were capable you wouldn't be here relyin' on us."

Rin remains silent at that.

"I already like them." Their senior cackles. "Shidou Ryusei, by the way." Hiori briefly introduces himself, and so does he.

Isagi leans over to whisper into Rin's ear. "Feel free to complain and object, if you're willing to pay for a tutor, or okay with not competing." Rin's reply is non existent, and the silence already feels awkward.

"Anyways, though I can't and won't guarantee any results I'll do my best." You announce as Hiori nods along. "Let's all do our best, yeah?"

Isagi grins, full of energy and determination, returning to his worksheet. While Rin was quite the opposite. You and Hiori unpack, laying out everything you'd need for the study session.

Only for you to turn on your phone

Hiori pokes your cheek. "y/n. Do I need to remind you that now's not play games? We're here to study, remember?"

The oldest in the room interferes. "Who cares, one round. I play too." He mimics your action. "I'll make the room."

"See? Shidou-senpai gets me. Surely one round. All together. I can actually play properly since my hands aren't soaked with sweat."

Hiori winces at the unnecessary detail.

Rin interrupts. "You're just going to play games while we study?"

"Oh I'm sorry, when was the last time you got passed a test. Primary? Kindergarten? Pre-school?"

With a scoff, he retaliates. "And when was the last time you grew? Infancy?"

To the best of your ability, you conceal your offense. "I'll have you know I grew an inch in the past year."

"And I'll have you know that I ace English every year." At least foreign languages had practical use for everyone. He doesn't need to fully comprehend and analyse Shonagon Sei's The Pillow Book or be proficient in mathematics to dominate as an athlete. Arguably, fluency in another language was most important.

"Only English?" You critique him in another language; what he'd assume to be Mandarin. "Only two languages?"

Great, now you have another thing to make fun of him for. Maybe he'll finally start learning French.

Hiori hits your shoulder and you yelp (he also snatches your phone while he's at it). "You can't be talking—you only know a few sentences of Mandarin and didn't get any of the tones right just then." Rin holds back a groan for falling for your antics, while resisting a smile from Hiori calling it out.

"I would've sold it if you didn't point that out."

"You're a scammer, not a salesman. Quit being immature and stop trying to compete with the poor guy." Hiori mutters out an apology on your behalf, as he drags you by the hem of your shirt to where Isagi was scratching his head over a problem. "I'm separating you two."

Rin likes Hiori, quite a bit.

Shidou nudges Isagi. "I like this y/n." Well I don't, Rin thinks to himself. "Here's the plan. We'll teach the subjects we're best at. I think you 'nd Hiori are fine with everything though. Straight As, right?" Rin doesn't care about grades, but knowing that you're maintaining a results as an athlete and proficient in academics has his skin prickling with envy.

"Yeah." You reply nonchalantly, peering at the problem Isagi was stuck on. "Not that confident with science though."

Hiori nods. "As long as it's not math, but y/n can cover for that anyways. I started learning English from a young age so I guess that's my best topic."

Shidou claps his hands together. "Perfect."

"You're actually so fucking stupid."

"I'm sorry I haven't been studying for every day of my life." Rin spat, clenching the mechanical pencil in his hand hard enough to the point he started trembling. "You're here to teach me not to act like a fucking dumbass.

"It's long division." You yell. "It's literally the same as regular long division but with 'x' involved."

"Well I can't do the one with polynomials if I can't do regular long division." It completely slipped his mind once he discovered that high school tests often permitted the use of a calculator.

The poor table suffers an indignant slam from you. "How? I've done this stuff since I could hold a pencil."

"Not everyone's the same as you." Rin wonders, what sort of childhood you had to already comprehend such concepts at a young age (not that he cares, it's simply curiosity). "You don't even need to know how to do long division, you have a calculator."

"Well some shit you just don't forget.'

"You're clearly wrong in that case."

"No you're just stupid."

Amidst the chaos within the tiny room, Rin can barely catch the gentle encouragement from Hiori to Isagi. Why can't you be like that, or at least, why can't Hiori help him instead? Shidou fucked off somewhere a while ago, Rin's relieved that he doesn't have to spend time with him; but that means more time with you.

He leans back into his chair, tossing the pencil onto the table. "Why can't you be like that?" He aggressively points in Hiori's direction. "Mature and intelligent."

Though hesitant, Hiori denies his compliments. "y/n's a lot smarter than me... especially in mathematics."

"Smarter or not, doesn't matter. I hate them."

Now you're slumping onto the table, nuzzling your face into your own bicep. "Love you too, sweetheart."

"Do not call me that—"

You cut him off by slamming your palm on the table. "Food. I want food. A break is well deserved, don't you think?"

Something tells him that it was directed to him, but Rin still responds. "I'm the one who needs a break. All you did was yell and it produced no results."

Your faux pout makes a return, as you make your way to Isagi, hands resting on his shoulders. "Think of everyone else dumbass. We've been locked in a room for hours—"

"You're free to walk out whenever, in fact, please do so. Now."

"You people need my genius—"

"The booking." Hiori interrupts. "The booking is finishing soon. So we're leaving soon either way." Relief makes Isagi pack everything up, stuffing it hastily in his shoulder bag. "And you willingly came here to study, stop hyperbolising everything."

"Hi-o-rin, we're getting food." Ignoring his scolding, you cling onto his arm, carrying the both of your bags while you're at it. "There's a nice place nearby, let's all go together." You sling your arm around Isagi's shoulder, pulling him in. “Surely we go get zaru soba too.”

Isagi falls for your charm—or what Rin would much rather call irritation. “That’d be nice. Where would you recommend, then?”

“y/n and I usually go to this place nearby. It’s a bit of a walk but it’d be worth it. They have other foods too if you’re more of a rice person.” Hiori had positioned himself between you and Rin, after weaving out of your embrace. “We can get ice cream from FamilyMart if we overheat.” He holds the door open for everyone, to which Rin bows politely in gratitude.

“I can’t.” Rin declines, partially because he prefers the quiet atmosphere of his home to eat; the rest of his reasoning is merely your presence.

What part of “I can’t” did you not understand.

Now he’s seated at a table in a crowded and noisy restaurant, thanks to you dragging him along (he's also confused at how you managed to pull that off). He’d be thankful that he wasn’t seated next to you, but that meant being forced to face you for the entirety of his meal.

There’s you in front of him (by Hiori’s side, of course), pondering a stupid decision while Hiori actually bothers to hear you out.

“Grape Calpis… or regular Calpis.”

“Can you even tell the difference between them?” Hiori’s fingers massage his temples. “Hurry up and give Rin the menu.”

“Yeah yeah, I know. You’re not my mum.”

Isagi interjects. “Which one did you pick?”

You hand the menu to Rin. “Milk tea.”

And with that Isagi returns to glancing over the menu.

“Ochazuke for me. Cold.”

“I’ll get the katsudon.” Isagi asks.

You stand up with a gentle slam of the table (what is it with you and that tendency?). “I’ll go order then. Hiorin, same as usual?” Your being to weave through people after Hiori nods.

“What’s wrong? Thinkin’ about somethin’?”

Isagi chokes on nothing. “No, I mean yes but it’s about y/n—”

Maintaining eye contact, Hiori takes a sip of his water. It doesn’t come off as intimidating, rather curious instead. “Have they been annoying you too?”

“Of course not—that’s just Rin being Rin.” Arms folded against his chest, Rin glares from the corner of his eye, but doesn’t say anything. “I hear a lot of people calling y/n a genius. Why is that?"

“Oh. That. Our club gave them that nickname because one, they're really good at school, and two, they were disgustingly good without knowing anything about fundamentals. And it didn't take long for them to learn it either, they were really awkward when first playing too." Hiori gazes off in the distance, grappling for the right words. "They're just naturally good at a lot of things too."

In other words, you’re one of those freakish beginners with a freakish start and freakish development.

Smart and athletic, you truly embody perfection, if character was ignored. Perhaps you made a deal with god, your sanity and maturity in exchange for skills others spend years refining.

“Good at school and sports. Must be nice.” Isagi sighs. “I still don't understand logarithms...what's your secret?”

Hiori shrugs. “Study. You get it after doing it a lot. Just ask y/n.”

A groan comes from the shorter boy. “Forget it, genius’ don’t have secrets. I’ll practice.”

Rin scoffs. “And how long are you going to stand there, dumbass?”

Hiori whips around to see you grinning. “Go on go on, keep praising me please.” You take your seat again. “Don’t worry Yoichi, just send me anything you need help with.”

Isagi nods, hesistant but determined.

“You’re going to be fine. If I can do it so can you.” You open your bottle of royal milk tea after distributing the other drinks.

“Thanks but we’re not the same…”

You yawn, eyes watering slightly. “I too have failed tests before. They’re recoverable.”

Rin’s heard stuff like this before. “Like what? A 99 instead of an 100?”

“30 instead of a pass.” Hiori covers his mouth to stifle a laugh, even going as far as turning away (it only made Rin feel more embarassed). “I knew I was screwed so I wrote an apology on my test paper. And that is why, you people should trust me when I say you’re going to do great. Eat well. Sleep well. Practice consistently.”

Check, check, almost check. It can’t be too different from learning English.

Hiori slaps you on the back, loudly. “Quit yapping when we both know you already only do the first.”

“And you’re no better—” The volume of your speech is quickly turned down by the waitstaff’s presense. “Thank you for the food.” Effortlessly you switch from your annoying self to a polite customer.

“Rin, Yoichi, don’t think about exams too hard. We don’t even know the dates yet so you’ll catch up fine.”

Rin trusts Hiori’s rationality—and yours too (he’ll never admit it out loud), as his picks up his drink and brings it to the centre of the table midair, against everyone else’s.

“Excuse me—?” Hiori calls over a staff member. “Can we split the bill please?”

She smiles. “It’s already been taken care of.”

“We paid already?” Isagi’s perplexity was evident. “I don’t remember doing that.”

“And you’re remembering right, dumbass.” Rin was confused as well, but Hiori seemed to understand the situation perfectly. The moment the waitress left he almost pounced on you.

You were unfazed by the attack; effortlessly dodging it and grabbing your bag while doing so. “My treat! Thank you and well done for your hard work today.” Out the restaurant you go, followed by a mad Hiori, attracting a few concerned glances.

“Oi—come back you fucking idiot. Let me pay equally dumbass.”

“Wait for us—” Isagi scurries out of the diner booth, ushering Rin out to chase after them. “Hiori—!”

With a tired sigh, Rin follows.

Rin pockets his phone, staring out the train's window instead. You're seated in the seat in front of him again, a similar configuration from lunch, but with Hiori by his side instead of Isagi.

You peer at Isagi's screen. "Your team group chat actually looks fun. Can I join it?"

"It's called a team group chat, of course not." Hiori objects on Isagi's behalf. "We have our own, anyways."

"You either leave me on read and Nijiro only responds with emojis. At least Kurona's fun and sends shark pics." Rin begs Isagi to not surrender to your pleas, the majority of that group chat was already irksome enough.

"Maybe stop spamming it with your reactions to a show that's clearly too scary for you to watch at 1 am."

You retort playfully. "It's not spam if it's beautiful, intricate media analysis."

"What part of screaming about shirtless Ahn Hyo Seop says intricate, or analytical?" With the way Hiori snapped, the gentle boy in the library room was nowhere to be seen. You must have a talent for ruining others' composure.

"Appreciation, of art?"

You continue bickering with Hiori, Isagi as a poor viewer. Rin watches too, in a much calmer way while Isagi awkwardly observes your squabble (and thanking the train for being so empty).

Only when you get up to shake Hiori by the shoulders (a stupid resort in a stupid debate about actors and actresses), Rin bends over to reach for your bag, hand reaching for the zip, an ephemeral disappearance into your bag.

When you have enough of quarreling with Hiori, it was as if nothing happened, you plop back into your seat, not noticing a thing; Rin leans into the backrest, going back to gazing out the window.

TWO | MASTERLIST | FOUR

pairing. itoshi rin x reader

synopsis. all itoshi rin ever wanted was a peaceful high school career, his plans go to ruin thanks to the school's badminton genius; entangling their lives—and emotions together.

contents. rivals to lovers, badminton player!reader, sports romance, fluff, high school au

a/n. hardest part is always the fucking title i swear to god

taglist. @yuzurins, @silly-ez, @chigirizzz, @kaiserkisser, @httpshujii, @saesins, @yoimyas, @saetorinrin, @hxniplayz, @certaindreampost, @rroxii, @jar-03, @celestair, @satoruskitchenrag, @kaitfae, @biaonww, @hellothere9597, @its-ur-pillow, @saesofficialwife, @miyanaranagikenmal-intp, @popponn, @kascar-chronicle—bold means i cannot tag you

© kitorin : do not repost, plagiarize, change, or translate

[batbabydamian]

Hey, I started reading Robin son of Batman because of your recommendation (I literally have a print of your post on my phone to not forget lol). Honestly? One of the best things I ever read!!!

Thank you for opening my eyes! Damian has been one of my favorite characters for over a year, but I didn't read/watch much of him because of school, life (and probably an executive dysfunction in the mix).

Maya is incredible. I loved her.

I haven't finished all the issues yet, but do you have any other recommendations?

WAH this makes me so happy, i'm glad you still gave it a shot even with how busy life is!! ;v;

i’d love to give reccs, and i’ll try to go a beginner friendly route! tbh you can pick up whatever here, but since you've read R:SOB i’d immediately follow up with Batman and Robin (2011) #1-8! this first arc is what’s referred to in Maya’s introduction, and it's just. so good.

Main Books

Batman and Robin (2009)

Dick as Batman with Damian as his Robin!

#20-22 Tree of Blood: Dark Knight vs White Knight arc is done by Tomasi and Gleason, the team for the next Batman and Robin series

*Batman and Robin (2011)

Bruce and Damian figuring out their relationship as both Batman & Robin and father & son

imo you can enjoy the ride and read straight through this but i’ll add context to avoid as much confusion as possible since there’s the occasional tie-in or offscreen events, like Damian’s death nbd

Batman Incorporated (2012) #1-10

events leading to Damian's death - affects Batman and Robin (2011) from issue #18

kind of a tough read especially with how Talia's written, but a lot of iconic bits like Batcow, Damian's vegetarian declaration, Alfred the cat, "We Were the Best, Richard."

Robin (2021)

another self-discovery adventure, particularly after Alfred’s death and a fallout with Bruce (and questionable writing choices from his last Teen Titans run)

Batman and Robin (2023)

currently ongoing! after a number of events, Bruce and Damian are back as a duo

Damian Dynamics!

Batman: Streets of Gotham (2009) #7, 10-12

arc where Damian meets one of his first Gotham friends, Colin Wilkes

Batgirl (2009) #5-7, #17

Steph and Damian dynamic! "the bad cop, worse cop" dysfunctional duo

Red Robin (2009) #13-14

early Tim and Damian dynamic that of course includes fighting haha. funny enough, accidentally my first intro to Damian LOL

Teen Titans (2003) #89-92

Dick!Batman has Damian join the Teen Titans. Start of Damian and Rose Wilson dynamic that’s extended in Robin (2021)

Batman: Gates of Gotham (2011)

Damian meets Cass and has a brief team up

Gotham Academy (2015) #7

Damian meets Maps Mizoguchi! they have a few other meetings, but outside of that the series itself is a great read!

Robin War Event (2015)

Robin War (2015) #1, Grayson (2014) #15, Detective Comics (2011) #47, We Are Robin (2015) #7, Robin: Son of Batman (2015) #7, Robin War (2015) #2

Duke and Damian dynamic! not exactly beginner friendly but these are the main issues in order for the event! you can also read the TPB version for everything including Tie-Ins

Nightwing (2016) #16-20, #42, #43

#16-20 Nightwing and Robin arc!

#42 Dick on a mission to save Damian! the one appearance of "Wiggles" the dragon

#43 Dick, Roy, and Damian team-up

New Talent Showcase 2018 "Catwoman: Pedigree"

Selina, Damian, and Alfred the cat

Batman: Prelude to the Wedding - Robin vs. Ra's Al Ghul (2018)

Selina, Damian, and Cheese Viking - Damian's fav game shown in Nightwing: Rebirth (2016)

Monkey Prince (2022) #1-4

Marcus Sun Shugel-Shen's main comic, but Damian features as a fun dynamic here before they're in more serious circumstances in Batman VS Robin (2022)/Lazarus Planet event

Superman (2016) #10 - 11

the beginning of the Super Sons! featuring Maya!

Super Sons (2017)

solitary arcs but there’s a few event tie-in issues later

Adventures of the Super Sons (2018)

literally more Super Sons adventures lol galactic shenanigans yeehaw

Challenge of the Super Sons (2020) 

Super Sons time shenanigans feat. the Justice League

Robin 80th Anniversary (2020)

"Boy Wonders" - brief Damian feature as Tim considers his next step in life

"My Best Friend" - Jon's thoughts on Damian and their dynamic

"Bat and Mouse" - refers to Damian's unfortunate Teen Titans (2016) run at the time of release which follows up with Teen Titans Annual #2 where Damian briefly gives up Robin

Extra Comics!

Superman/Batman (2003) #77

Kara and Damian in a Halloween team-up! also the appearance of "Li'l Matches" lol

DCU Halloween Special '09 "Cavity Search"

Damian out on a solo mission for Halloween night. Immediately after is Tim's Red Robin story "Then and Now: Our Father's Sins" which is more somber in contrast but also a good read!

DCU Halloween Special 2010 "Robin the Vampire Slayer"

a Dick!Batman and Robin story featuring the vampire Andrew Bennett

Cursed Comics Cavalcade (2018) "The Devil You Know"

Halloween themed comic with a sweet short story of Damian alongside Solomon Grundy

DC's Terrors Through Time (2022)

"Trick or Treat" a Super Sons Halloween story

"The Haunting of Wayne Manor" Damian and Deadman story - in the end, Boston kinda refers to Nezha's possession of Damian in Batman VS Robin (2022) which was happening at the time of this release

Batman: Li'l Gotham (2013)

lighthearted series that instantly makes me smile with the silliness and Dustin Nguyen’s art i love this dearly

Secret Origins (2014) #4 "A Boy's Life"

a retelling of Damian's origin story

Detective Comics (2016) #1001-1005

Batman and Robin vs the Arkham Knight (unrelated to the game)

Truth & Justice (2021) #6/#16 - 18 Digital First version

cute story of Damian’s birthday! Juni Ba’s art is so fun!!

DC Festival of Heroes: The Asian Superhero Celebration (2021) “Special Delivery”

short story about Damian! and poisoned pizzas. completely forgot the artist Sami Basri drew Rebirth Damian here before catboy Damian lol Cass’s story “Sounds” is also cute! Marcus makes his first appearance in "The Monkey Prince Hates Superheroes"

DC VS Vampires (2021)

Damian makes appearances throughout this elseworlds book, but the one-shot DC VS Vampires: Hunters (2022) is vampire Damian-centric!

Batman: Black and White (2021) #5

“Father & Son Outing” short story written and drawn by Jorge Jimenez!

Batman: Urban Legends (2021) #20-23

#20 “My Son” Talia and Bruce focus

#20 - 23 “The Murder Club” 4 Parts

Tiny Titans (2008) #33, #39, #45, #47

a few appearances but SO CUTE, LOOK AT HIM

*Batman and Robin (2011) reading guide

i'm mostly trying to avoid the "what did i just walk in on?" kinda feeling when i first started reading comics LOL i'll list the comics where events take place, but you don't necessarily have to read them to go through this book since things are usually explained as quickly as possible in the first page or so

#0 Someday Never Comes

Talia and baby Damian before he grows up to meet Bruce

#1-8 Born to Kill

just an incredibly solid arc for Bruce and Damian!

#9 Court of Owls Tie-In Issue

Damian VS a Court of Owls Talon. While Bruce is occupied with a home invasion of Talons, Alfred makes a call for allies to protect targeted Gotham public figures from Talons. During Batman (2011) #1-11

#10-12 Terminus

Damian challenges the previous Robins sans Steph

Batman Incorporated (2012) is occurring at this time where Talia has placed a bounty on Damian and there's small mentions of that

#13-14 Eclipsed/Devoured

mostly solitary arc! end of it leads into the Death of the Family event

#15-16 Death of the Family Tie-In Issues

Damian and Joker face-off... Alfred's been kidnapped by the Joker, and Damian goes looking for him. During Batman (2011) #13-17

#17 Life is but a Dream - Death of the Family Epilogue

a sort of subconscious check-in through the dreams of Damian, Alfred, and Bruce. Nightwing (2011) #17 features Damian encouraging Dick after Death of the Family events

#18 Undone "Requiem"

Bruce dealing with Damian's death from Batman Incorporated #8

other reactions to Damian's death: Dick in Nightwing (2011) #18, Tim in Teen Titans (2011) #18

#19-23 Denial, Rage, The Bargain, Despair, Acceptance

Bruce through the stages of grief with some batfam appearances in each. also introduces Carrie Kelley into continuity as Damian's acting tutor.

Batman (2011) #19-20 also addresses Bruce's loss

#23.1-23.4

these could be skipped - villain stories, also related to Forever Evil event.

#24-28 The Big Burn

optional Batman and Two-Face/Harvey Dent arc, #23.1 is part of this story!

Damian's resurrection and return

#29-32 The Hunt for Robin

Ras took Talia and Damian's bodies from their graves, and Bruce goes after him.

-> Robin Rises: Omega

continues events from #32. if you don't want to jump to this, basically, Glorious Godfrey and a bunch of parademons from Apokolips are here for a chaos shard which Ra's put in Damian's sarcophagus. at some point, Bruce gets a hold of the shard where he sees a vision that leads him to believe Damian can be resurrected. Godfrey ends up taking the shard, along with Damian's body since it was emitting the same energy.

#33-37 Robin Rises

Bruce hellbent on retrieving Damian from Apokolips and reviving him

-> Robin Rises: Alpha

necessary to read and continues events from #37! Damian's back with a bang lol

#38-40 Superpower

Damian adjusting to having superpowers and being alive again

Annual #1 2013 Batman Impossible

sweet (and funny) one-shot of Damian sending Bruce on a meaningful scavenger hunt around the world while Damian gets to be the cutest Batman for a bit

Annual #2 2014 Batman and Robin: Week One

one-shot takes place during Damian's absence. after Bruce and Alfred find a mystery gift left for Dick, Dick recounts a story he had told Damian from his Robin days.

Annual #3 2015 Moonshot

one-shot Batman and Robin adventure on the moon!

...and of course after Batman and Robin (2011), Damian's story continues in his first solo Robin: Son of Batman (2015)!

[gettinshiggywithit]

ok so I saw your post abt wanting to write for pjo but you don't know what and you've only read the books so I figured I'd send a request or sum. now idk if you do headcannons cause I haven't followed you for long, but headcannons abt a relationship with percy? 🍓

🌊Dating Percy Jackson~ (HCs)🌊

Summary: what’s it like dating the son of poseidon and resident blue-enthusiast

Pairing: percy x gn!reader (i think I kept it pretty gender neutral!)

Genre: fluff

T/W: none

A/N: Hi nonny! I hope you like this! Thank you for the request and for getting me out of my writing slump! Pls lmk what you think of it if you feel like it and until next time ciao!

Warning! Not proof read🥹🙏apologies 🥹

I think its a given that percy is the epitome of boyfriend material

I mean the man literally gave up immortality for annabeth!

But this isnt about annabeth,this is about you!

So for the sake of this post let’s assume you both met the same way!

The moment percy saw you he was entranced!

It was a normal day of practice and he was out in the practice pavilion to try his hand at archery(this was when he was still unclaimed)

He was struggling to even hit the target when he turned his head to talk to his instructor from the apollo cabin,only to see you sparring with the camp’s best swordsman,luke castellan!

You were expertly dodging and blocking his advances and while luke seemed to be getting frustrated,you looked smug and excited almost. It was then that perch jackson developed a hugee crush on you

Over the next few days he made attempts to talk to and interact with you,he joined you at the campfire and during these little interactions was when he realised you weren’t just pretty,you had a personality as bright as the sun and your sense of humour was elite!

When he got claimed you helped him accept it and even though you were still unclaimed it really helped him. You listened to him when he needed a friend and helped him see the brighter side of things.

And over time even you seemed to fall for him, i mean what wasnt to love,he was funny,sweet,supportive; everything a girl could ask for!

So when you confessed to him during a sparring session after having just beaten him,he was both confused and overjoyed!

You helped him up and he confessed to feeling the same.and as you both got older,your bond grew stronger.sure there were little hiccups along the way but you always made it work.

Percy noticed everything about you, your little quirks, your little gestures; everything

He was the first to notice when you were feeling even a little bit down and he always had your favorite snacks on hand for when you needed cheering up!

He always took you down to the beach or near the river,exploring both in his little protective bubble was the coolest,most awesome thing you’d ever experienced and even though you felt scared at times,he’d hold you close and not let go until you were on dry land.

Making blue food together in the off season and spending time at his and his mum’s apartment was heavenly,especially your home didn’t exactly feel like a home in the first place.

Sally loved you! She always teased the two of you when you curled up on the couch to watch movies and was just happy her son found someone.

During quests he always had your back but also knew you were perfectly capable on your own,i mean you practically taught him how to sparr yourself!

Through the losses and the gains,the battles and the hardship,you stayed together and helped eachother grow.

You loved him with all your heart and he the same. He was loyal to fault and would never judge or criticize you,if he did it was merely constructive criticism,nothing to belittle you or make you feel insignificant.

He helped you through your moments of insecurity and made you feel whole,like you were worth his love and like you were perfect the way you were.

In conclusion,being in love with percy Jackson means, unlimited support and love and a companion for life🫶

All rights reserved © 2023 gettinshiggywithit. Please do not repost, modify or claim as yours. Reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated!j

[babymetaldoll]

Are you mine? - Chapter 1: I'm a puppet on a string

A/N: Ok guys, here we go! Thank you all for your love and support, and most of all, for waiting for this last book.  Summary: We are starting on season 15 for a little sneak peak of our lovebirds getting ready for their last day at the BAU. Spencer and his cherie have been married for some time now, and things are going great, until they don't, as they usually do. Let's join for a big flashback and understand all that happened from season 9 to season 15 that lead them to their last day at the BAU. Word count: 7.680 words.  Warnings: Alcohol consumption, fluff, angst, confusion and babies.  

Series' Masterlist - Author's masterlist

Next chapter

Spencer's point of view

Thomas Merton once wrote, "Love is our true destiny. We do not find the meaning of life by ourselves alone. We find it with another."

Life has never been this good, not like this. I know I haven't slept well in over seven years, due to the constant demands of parenthood, but I don't mind. In fact, I think I love it. I was not a good sleeper before becoming a dad if we are sincere. But waking up ten times every night to change diapers, check for monsters under the bed, or scoot over and allow my kids to sleep next to me, kicking my ribs for the entire night has never been a problem. Because they are my babies, and I would do anything for my kids.

I no longer have every night during the week to bury my head in hundreds of books. I haven't read more than a few every week since Raven was born, seven years ago. Now, my evenings are filled with baby rambles and kids' voices as we play games and read bedtime stories.

My kids. I never thought I could ever say those words. And now look at me, father of three healthy, bright, and beautiful kids. Not even in my wildest dreams I ever imagined being alive could be so fulfilling. Now I have an honest reason to be a better person every day. My babies. My wife. My family. They are my whole life.

I have everything I ever dreamt of: me and (Y/N) have been married for almost nine years. Nine years of waking up next to her, good morning kisses, and cuddles. I still find it hard to believe that she is my wife. The love of my life. The woman I would die for. Just ask me and I will give up everything for her safety and happiness. Yes, as cheesy as it sounds. And with our career choice, a decision that we've had to make more times than we imagined.

Our eldest daughter, Raven Marie, turned seven this year. She is bright and cheerful. She is just like her mother: a natural leader and the light of my day. Vincent is four years old, and he was born an artist. He loves painting and drawing, especially on the walls when no one is watching. We enjoy our trips to the museum together, even more if we get ice cream afterward. And baby Matilda is just three months old. I love holding her in my arms as she sleeps safe and sound. It makes the whole world stop. And the way her big brown eyes stare at me, I swear she can understand every word I say. The three of them make me feel loved in a way I never even imagined.

We live in a beautiful house just outside town, which is perfect for raising our family. It has a large backyard where our kids can play. It even has a tree, so I plan to build a treehouse next summer, probably with Mikey's and Frank's help.

This is everything I always dreamed of and never thought I could have. That is why (Y/N) and I decided we would never let anything jeopardize what we have accomplished. There is nothing more important to us than our babies.

That is why it's time to leave the BAU for good.

Today is our last day as Supervisory Special Agents with the FBI. And though I always thought if this day ever came, I would be devastated, I'm looking forward to this new stage in our lives. As long as we have each other, everything is going to be ok.

I roll in bed and stare at my darling wife asleep beside me. I take in all her features, nose, and closed eyes fluttering occasionally. There are a few gray hairs already showing, stressing her out. I find them sexy if you ask me. We are already 39 years old, I have a few gray hairs myself. My wife's skin looks so soft, so tempting. I wanna mark her mine again, leaving sweet bruises from her neck to her breasts, which are almost exposed underneath her pajamas. The hickies I did last week are barely visible anymore.

But before I get into action to wake (Y/N) with hot kisses all over her body, sweet blabbing sounds coming from the small crib next to our bed catch my attention. Our baby girl is already awake. It's still too early for Matilda to open her eyes, so I roll in bed and hold my baby daughter, rocking her in my arms as we walk around the room.

- "Good morning, Jelly Bean."- I whisper and kiss her forehead- "Thank you for almost letting us sleep through the night last night. Your mom and I have a decisive day today."- Tilly stares at me with her big chocolate eyes and smiles as her tiny finger holds mine tight.

- "Yes baby. Today is your parent's last day working at the BAU, after over fifteen years of service for your mom and seventeen for me."

The words should shock me, or maybe even cause angst or pain. But nothing could be farther from the truth. I'm excited to become a full-time professor at Georgetown, come home every night, and spend time with my kids. No more travels unless they are on vacation, no more chasing psychopaths. I'm ready to leave that life behind me and take care of my loved ones daily.

I walk around the house, enjoying how it's still silent. Holding Tilly close against my chest, I open Vincent's door and watch him sleeping on his little bed. I walk over and cover him with his blanket, knowing in about forty minutes he will be running downstairs, demanding breakfast. Today is hotcakes Friday, I could start the batter and get the coffee ready after I put an eye on the kids.

I head to Raven's room and find her awake. She is sitting on her bed, holding her teddy bear hidden behind Moby Dick.

- "Birdie, what are you doing awake? it's six in the morning"- I whisper as I walk over to her and she widens her eyes, clearly busted.

- "Sorry dadda. I just woke up. I swear."

- "What happens when we don't get enough REM sleep?"- I ask her as I sit by her side, and take her book from her tiny hands.

- "It interferes with memory formation, altering my learning process."

- "Very good. So if you know why you must have nine hours of sleep, why are you awake so early?"- my older daughter giggles and hides underneath her blanket for a moment. I wait for her to show me her face one more time as she whispers.

- "I wanted to know what happened to the giant whale."

- "But this is our bedtime story, Raven. We have to read it together every night."- I try to look serious, but frankly, I feel so proud. I love being able to share my passion for reading with my daughter. Raven fixes her pillow underneath her head and covers herself with her purple blanket.

- "But I'm no longer sleepy, dadda."

- "Just close your eyes for a bit, Birdie. Try to rest and I'll make breakfast. I'll call you when the food is ready, ok?"

- "Can we read two chapters tonight, dadda? Please?"- she looks at me with pleading eyes as I place the book back on her bedside table.

- "Only if you get some more sleep now, ok?"

- "Fine... good night dadda... or is it good morning already?"- I chuckle and kiss her forehead.

- "If you are going to sleep, we still say good night, birdy."

Sometimes I'm sure I'll wake up alone at my old apartment, all this would have been a dream. I never imagined I would love something or someone more than I loved my work. The FBI was my life for so long. But this, my babies, my wife sleeping safe and sound in our house, that means more than anything I could ever achieve at the bureau.

(Y/N)'s point of view

I wake up in bed and immediately feel the cold, empty space beside me, and I don't like it. I'm used to waking up with the warmth of Spencer's arms around me or any of my kids hovering over the covers or sleeping on me. But not today. Today, I am alone on this gigantic bed, and neither my children nor my husband are in sight.

The sweet sound of my kids' laughter somewhere in the house and the smell of hotcakes catches my attention in a second. I could get used to waking up like this. No text warning me that we have to catch a serial killer. No one is trying to hurt my family. No psycho plotting to ruin our lives. Just us in our house, living our sweet dreams.

The last couple of years have been rough, to call it somewhat. Everything we ever tried to avoid from working at the BAU hit us. For a moment it felt like everything that could go wrong, did. And when I say "everything", I mean it. But I don't wanna think of those dark times, I don't wanna start this last day with sorrow. I wanna start it with coffee, hotcakes, and sweet kisses from my babies.

- "Something smells extra good in here!"- I walk into the kitchen and find Spencer flipping hotcakes in a pan, as Raven and Vincent are sitting at the table, eating already and chatting nonstop. My husband smiles as I walk to him and kiss his lips sweetly.

- "How are you today Tilly?"- I whisper as I stare at her, she is asleep against Spencer's chest, in a baby wrap we got when Raven was born, and that my husband loves beyond life itself. Try to take it from him, it's impossible. He loves carrying our kids around in that thing. And when they are too old to fit in, he just carries them on his shoulders or arms all over.

- "One day they will be too big or too embarrassed to be seen like that with me"- he explained to someone, probably some of my aunts or cousins, who argued he was spoiling them rotten. - "And I wanna enjoy every chance I get before we reach that point in life."

Now, if you ask me, I don't think our kids will ever get tired of their dad. They love him too much.

- "Mama! dadda made chocolate chip hotcakes!"- Vinny is clearly running on sugar right now- "They are tasty!"

- "I'm sure they are! They smell delicious!"- I grab a cup and fill it with freshly made coffee- "Can I get you more coffee, hon?"

- "Yes, please ma cheriè."- I pour two cups and add sugar to my husband's as he prepares a dish with hotcakes and scrambled eggs for me and one for him as well.

- "Someone went an extra mile with this breakfast today. Thank you hon"- I kiss him again and take both dishes.

- "It's a special day. You deserve the best breakfast."

- "Well, I'm gonna cook you the best dinner then" - I wink at him and look at our kids- "Are you ready for school, Birdie?"

- "Yeah. I'm excited because in math we are starting to do multiplications! Finally!"- our daughter is honestly happy about math, which I know she didn't get from me.

- "Multiplications? Why were you looking forward to that?"- Spencer asks her, as I help Vinny cut his hotcakes.

- "Because Uncle Frank said we are good at multiplication in this family, so I wanna learn all about it."

I keep my poker face and nod at my oldest daughter, trying to pinpoint any kind of scenario where Frank might have said that to her. Spencer stares at me with wide-open eyes as he clears his throat and sips his coffee.

- "Yeah, math is really fun!"- that's all I can say- "Which is your favorite subject, Vinny?"

- "Art"- I am not shocked.

- "Are you planning on making a new drawing for my desk?"- Spencer asks our son, who takes a few seconds to reply and gives him an honest answer.

- "No, Aunty Lu asked me to do one for her fridge, because her baby can't draw anything yet."- I smile and nod.

- "We should work on that drawing this weekend then."- I say to my boy and kiss the top of his head. I love that my kids know Lu, Frank, and Mikey are also family.

Lu got married a few years ago and last month she had her first baby. I haven't seen her in a few weeks because things have been crazy for both of us, but we text daily. A lot has changed, but our friendship remains the same. Mikey got married as well, to a girl he met at work. They have been together for five years and have a baby girl. I have never seen him this happy before, and it fills my heart with joy to know he is living the life he always dreamed of.

Meanwhile, Frank is still single. Not shocking news, I know. He has a steady girlfriend though, and they are very happy. He and Tarah have been together since Spencer and I got married, and they have the cutest dogs and cats I've ever seen.

- "Ok kids, let's get ready for school."- I put the dishes in the sink and watch our kids run upstairs. Spencer smiles as he finishes his last sip of coffee and I walk to him to take Tilly in my arms.

- "I'm gonna get this little lady ready to spend the day with Nana Sofia so you can take a quick shower, ok?"

- "Thank you, ma cherie."

- "No, thank you for breakfast, Daddy."- I whisper and kiss his coffee-tasting lips as he stares at me, raising an eyebrow subtly. I am teasing him, and I know it. But I can't help it. I love it when he stares at me with those hungry eyes.

- "We have some extra time, in case you wanna join me in the shower."- Spencer whispers and stands in front of me, wrapping his arms around mine, and moving his hands up and down my back, underneath my pajamas.

- "Mom!!"- Raven yells from upstairs- "Vinny got back into his bed and said he won't go to school today!"

- "Hold that thought until tonight."- I sigh and peck his lips- "Take that shower while I get the kids ready."

- "Fine, but you owe me, Mrs. Reid."- I chuckle at his words and shake my head, walking out of the kitchen with our baby secure in my arms.

- "Dr. Reid, I'm keeping count, and as far as I remember, you owe me, big time."

Spencer's point of view

As I drive to our last day at work after dropping the kids at school and Tilly with (Y/N)'s mom, I start to do the math of how many times I've driven us to work in the last few years. Plus all the times I took the subway to get there, before we got married. I know during all those times I never imagined how the last time would feel like. I never even imagined this day would ever come until Raven was born. Ever since I knew she was coming, I seriously considered dropping the life I knew to do anything else. Something that didn't include putting my and my wife's life in danger daily.

After we got married, (Y/N) and I spent a few years trying to catch up with all the time we wasted not confessing our feelings. There wasn't much left to know about each other that we didn't deal with being friends, but being a couple was a completely different thing. Our job came with certain unconventional situations, to call it somewhat. Like the day I realized how badly I wanted to be a dad, after delivering a baby in front of an unsub.

It happened almost eight years ago, not long before we discovered we were going to become parents for the first time. I remember I was out for a drink with Rossi, who had taken very seriously his job to help me transition from a single man with no clue about dates, to a man married to the woman of his dreams.

That night he took me to one of his favorite bars, which apparently had seen better days. It was old, dirty, and mostly empty, except for a very old guy singing karaoke at the back of the room, and some regulars.

- "That's where I saw Carolyn for the first time."- Dave pointed at a table in a corner, where a guy seemed to have passed out. I widened my eyes and looked at him, not impressed.

- "No offense, Rossi, but this place is kind of a dump."- of course, he was offended.

- "Oh, back then it wasn't."- he argued and tried to sell me the place - "Back then, the biggest names would come here: Creedence, The Eagles, Chicago. It was a Marine bar. They played for us jarheads."

- "What was Carolyn doing here?"- I asked, trying to focus on the story and not on the number of bacteria in every glass in that bar.

- "Waiting for Ringo."- Rossie replied as I stared at him surprised. - "Beatlemania was no joke. I mean, it would make the women crazy. She'd write them a letter once a week, begging the band to come visit."

I smiled thinking that sounded like something (Y/N) might have done as well, though instead of writing letters, she would tweet her favorite band and spam them with messages begging for a show in town.

- "Did they ever come?"- I asked and Rossi nodded, with a smile.

- "Ringo did, after his divorce. But luckily, Carolyn met me first. But that's how we all became friends."- I was about to add something when the waitress arrived with our second round.

- "Devil honey for Dave and a light beer for the kid."- I smiled at her and whispered a shy thank you as she left the bottle in front of me. I was about to sip it when the sound of a text message coming from David's phone reminded me duty ruined most of our fun times.

- "Oh, on second thought, Helen... it's Garcia."- Rossi announced and looked at me.

- "So much for a night off."- I sighed and left the bottle back on the table, untouched.

- "You better bring us the bill."

- "Ok. That'll be 10 bucks."- the waitress replied quickly, and I moved to grab my wallet, but David stopped me.

- "No, you can charge us for the drinks we didn't have. Drinks are on me, kid."

- "Everything's marked down until it's all gone."- the waitress announced and showed us a banner announcing Rossi's favorite place was closing in a few days.

- "Oh, you can't close! This place is history!"- he argued immediately, shocked by the news.

- "Unfortunately, Dave, history doesn't pay the bills."- Helen, the waitress, replied and shook her head as Rossi sighed, defeated.

- "Marines used to be big business!"- he said and looked at me, I don't know if waiting for words of support or just trying to convince me.

- "Still are. That's why three new bars opened up across the street."- Helen explained and then asked- "What's that thing they say about competition?"

- "It breeds success?"- I told her, but she cut me off.

- "It sucks."

- "Well..."- Rossi stood up and I followed, grabbing my jacket- "Keep the change."

- "Thank you, Dave."- Helen smiled and looked at him for a few seconds, giving him a knowing look, and then walked away.

- "I hate to see this place go."- Rossi said to me as he stood there, staring around him at all the memories he had in that place. I tapped on his shoulder and walked out of the bar.

- "We could come back again after we solve this case."- I suggested, trying to cheer him up. - "Bring the rest of the team, enjoy one last drink here. I'm sure (Y/N) and García would love to hear all the stories this place has."

When we reached the BAU that night, (Y/N) was already there with Blake, García, and Hotch. I walked toward my wife and held her hand.

- "Ma cherié, did you get to enjoy your evening at home?"- I whispered and she sighed.

- "I prepared the perfect bathtub, got myself a glass of wine, and I had a brand new book to enjoy. And it all went to waste."- she pouted and I ran my thumb down her cheek a few times, caressing her soft skin.

- "I'm sorry, chipmunk."- the rest of the team joined us in the briefing room, which forced us to be professional and move from each other a little bit- "We could take a bath together after we solve this case."

- "That sounds so nice." - (Y/N) sighed and smiled at me. - "How was your night out with Rossi?"- she asked as we sat around the table in the briefing room.

- "We had fun, we have to go to the bar he took me"

- "Was it good?"

- "No, actually it was old and dirty, but it's his favorite and it's closing."- she chuckled as Rossi turned to me, from the other side of the table, looking absolutely offended.

- "It's a very respectable place! You are lucky you visited it!"

- "That's why I'm telling my wife we should go!"- I replied, doing my best not to laugh. I knew he was affected by the closing news.

- "And we will, you don't have to tell me twice."- (Y/N) said quickly- "If there is booze and Rossi approves, I'm dying to go."

That case was in Boston, a psychotic was on the loose and had already killed three men and stolen their wallets. Though nothing tied the victims together, our guy was on a mission, and it was more likely to strike again before we got there.

We were already in the jet, going through the briefs and trying to find anything that could lead us to find this guy quickly.

- "We need to determine where he's finding his victims."- Hotch said, and I locked eyes with my wife, who was sitting next to me.

- "Geographically speaking, none of the victims live near one another, but they were all killed downtown, which is where the unsub likes to operate."- I said as she nodded, but before (Y/N) could say something, Blake commented.

- "That fits with where Maxford works, but not with the other two victims."

- "His area of control, while relatively small, includes a number of residential and commercial buildings."- I started rambling out loud.

- "Can you do the math that might help us?"- my wife suggested.

- "Well, factoring in a 3-mile radius in a city with a population of 636, 479 over 48.28 miles, we're looking at approximately 39,549.23 people living in his comfort zone."- I blurted out and (Y/N) kept staring at me with a sweet smile, as the rest of the team looked at each other like I was a freak.

- "How many of them are male?"- Morgan asked me and I replied in a blink.

- "18.944,08."

- "Garcia, start with the victim's known associates."- Hotch commanded as I felt (Y/N)'s hand on mine, intertwining our fingers.

- "Your brain is so fucking hot"- my wife whispered and I chuckled, embarrassed- "I love hearing you do math on anything."

- "Never let her go, kid"- Rossi overheard her words and smiled at us. I guess so did JJ, 'cos she looked at us with a funny stare in her eyes before standing up and walking to the kitchen to get herself a cup of tea.

Our guy was Tanner Johnson, and he was in fact, on a mission. He wanted to gain his ex-wife's trust back again to prove to her that he could take care of her and her new baby after their 10-year-old Jeremy had died. He wanted to be a good father, and in a way to protect everybody who lived under his roof, he started killing people who he thought were a bad influence for them and even kept a scrapbook, filled with proof of his murders.

I remember being in a van with Morgan, on our way to Mrs. Johnson's house, where she was being kept against her will by our unsub. (Y/N) was with JJ and Blake in another van, as Rossi and Hotch stayed back at the station, watching the surveillance cameras Tanner kept, still streaming everything that was happening in his old family home.

We just made it in time before Mrs. Johnson had the baby, and I was glad for once I had memorized all of the delivery manuals I had come across when JJ was pregnant, just in case she went into labor on the field.

- "Hannah, how far apart are your contractions?"- I put my gun down as I stood in front of Mrs. Johnson and Tanner, who had a knife against her throat. Morgan kept pointing at him, but I knew he didn't have a clean shot.

- "They're constant!"- the poor woman in labor screamed in pain. I looked at Derek and shook my head. I knew I had to do something quickly.

- "The baby's coming now!"- I announced the obvious, knowing the entire team was listening, and hoped for the best.

- "Look, man, your baby is about to be born. Now, we want to help you, but you need to put that weapon down."- Morgan tried to dialogue with Tanner, but it was impossible. He wasn't going to cooperate.

- "No! This is my child! I'm not leaving it!"- the unsub shouted, so I slowly moved closer, put on a pair of gloves, and took a deep breath staring at Mrs. Johnson, trying to get her to mimic my breathing.

- "Hannah, I need you to breathe deeply. Breathe deeply."-

I kneeled in front of her and did my best to look as confident as possible, though deep down I was so freaked out I was hoping I wasn't going to keep any memories of that moment.

- "Hannah, I need you to start pushing..."- I whispered, but she refused.

- "I can't."

- "Yes, you can, baby, just like with Jeremy."- the unsub tried to help, but she didn't want anything from him.

- "This is not helping!"- Hanna mumbled under her breath, she was in so much pain that I knew I had to find a way to get him away from her as soon as possible.

- "Tanner, you need to let her go. The stress isn't good for the baby. If Hannah doesn't start pushing now we could lose the child."- I commanded him, but he kept the knife against her neck and refused to move.

- "I have to watch him. I have to keep him safe."- he argued and stared at me as if I was a threat to the baby's security.

- "Like you did with Ashley?"- Derek caught his attention, which left me focused on the baby.

- "That was an accident. I didn't mean to."- Tanner mumbled

- "I know you didn't. Accidents happen. What happened with Jeremy was an accident, right?"- Derek continued talking, and I knew he had hit a very sensitive string in the unsub. It could only help us or put the baby's safety in jeopardy.

- "If I'd have been there I could have helped him."- Tanner was taken by those words and his whole shift. That was the key to helping Hanna. So I took advantage of his concern.

- "Guys, something's wrong."- I tried my best to look convincing. - "The umbilical cord is wrapped around the baby's throat."- I didn't want to trouble Hanna, but I had to do something.

- "No!"- Tanner yelled right away, as well as his poor wife.

- "Well, Reid, do something."- Morgan got it right away, and kept his eyes glued on Tanner as I continued lying.

- "I need something to cut the cord with, quickly!"

My words came as urgent as it was needed, and Tanner didn't hesitate to give me the knife to cut the cord. In two seconds, Morgan grabbed him and started taking him out of the room, as the unsub yelled and tried to fight back. Just then, (Y/N) walked in with JJ and Blake, and she quickly kneeled next to me.

- "Don't worry, Hannah, your baby's doing fine, but you need to keep pushing. Ready?"

- "Medics are on their way."- my wife announced, but I shook my head and continued doing my work.

- "We can't risk moving her now. We'll have to deliver the baby here."

- "Oh, God!"- Hanna yelled and (Y/N) quickly held her hand after putting a pillow underneath her back.

- "It's gonna be ok, Hanna, trust him, he is a doctor."- I looked at my wife for a second and though I knew she meant it as words of reassurance for the victim, they worked for me as well.

- "Come on! squeeze her hand as hard as you can and push"- I said and watched her struggle to do it.

- "Oh, I can't. I can't."

- "Yes, you can! You're doing great!"- (Y/N) said and rubbed Hanna's hand on her- "You are amazing!"

- "Yes! you're doing great. I can see the head! Keep pushing! Keep pushing!"

It didn't take much for the baby to come out. I held him in my hands, (Y/N) helped me cut the umbilical cord, and we wrapped him in a blanket that was lying around on a couch. Medics arrived and took care of Hanna while my wife held the newborn with tears in her eyes.

- "You are amazing Spencer."- she whispered as the two of us kept our eyes on the baby- "I can't believe you just did that."

- "I wouldn't have done it without you, ma cherie."- I replied and kissed her temple.

- "You are not delivering our babies, by the way."- she said after a few seconds and chuckled- "I'm gonna need all the epidural they can give me."

And just like that, the thought was inside my brain like a disease that wouldn't stop spreading. It wasn't like I hadn't thought about having babies with (Y/N). I had imagined a future with her in many ways possible. And that was exactly the point: at that moment in our lives, it was possible. And the overwhelming amount of things that could go wrong was impossible to overlook. They were there each time I looked at her.

Ever since we got married, the possibility of having kids has been present in our lives. We weren't officially trying, but I knew it was something we were both thinking about. And for a moment, it was perfect. Until I remembered there was a chance our kids could inherit my mother's schizophrenia. I know that disease tends to run in families, and though studies show there is no single gene to be responsible, the possibility of having kids with that disease was real. And I knew I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I ever put (Y/N) through any painful situation.

So I tried not to bring the subject up after we came back home, and for a few days, it worked. Until, well, it didn't.

(Y/N)'s point of view

I knew there was something wrong with Spencer as soon as we hopped back into the jet from Boston. He delivered that baby and something triggered him. I didn't want to pressure him, so I acted like a good wife and let him process the events at his own pace. I assumed it had something to do with the whole experience of delivering that kid and the fact we had talked a few times about having our own little family, but probably that whole moment had been eye-opening for him.

What if he didn't want to have kids anymore? What if he wasn't as ready as I felt? I was ready to quit taking the pill. I wanted to start trying to get pregnant. I wanted a little Spencer to love and take care of. Teach them all the things I knew. Watch them grow... I was fully ready to be a mom, and somehow I was scared to bring it up to Spencer. I was afraid he didn't want to anymore.

And then, the team made sure to force us into the conversation the Friday night we were all out together. We were at Rossi's favorite marine bar, the one he had brought my husband earlier in the week. Penelope and I gathered a bunch of people from the FBI and invited them over to say farewell to a piece of Washington's history. We also told them Rossi was buying the drinks, which explains why it was packed.

- "So, let's toast"- I said and raised my glass. The entire team and my husband were there with me, to enjoy our free night- "To spend more evenings together with family."

- "And to Dr. Spencer Reid, who may be adding M. D. to an already impressive list of credentials."- Hotch added, looking at my husband, who blushed, embarrassed.

- "And to Spencer Johnson, may he prove to be the child prodigy like his namesake."- Derek added- "I'm shocked there is a kid named after you out there before you two even have your first baby."

I know I smiled because little Spencer was a very cute and healthy baby, and I was (and still am) proud my husband helped deliver him. But the guys didn't stop teasing us after that.

- "And when are we going to have baby geniuses running around the BAU?"- Garcia asked- "I am ready to start knitting and spoiling your kids!"

- "Yeah, I'm surprised you haven't knocked your wife up already!"- and Morgan was on board with the joke- "I mean, are you doing things properly?"

- "Stop!!"- I nearly covered my ears with my hands

- "Emily said she'd happily fly from London just to assist with the baby shower I'm throwing you."

- "Penelope, I am not even pregnant yet."- I tried to reason with her, but it was useless.

- "You just said so, yet. But you will. Please! you'd make the cutest little munchkins!"- Garcia stared at me pouting.

- "Come on, don't pressure them."- Hotch tried to be the voice of reason, but it was impossible.

- "I'm sure Henry would love having a little cousin"- JJ smiled at us and sipped her drink.

- "Come on! This night is not about us."- Spencer chuckled, clearly awkward with the conversation, and raised his glass of whisky- "To Dave Rossi!"- and luckily, everybody else followed.

- "I still can't believe you guys did this."- Dave was surprised the place was packed

- "We wanted to make sure you had one last proper goodbye."- I assured him and felt his arm around me.

- "Grazzie, carissima!"

- "And I may or may not have posted on the Quantico message boards that all the drinks are on you tonight."- Garcia confessed, making us all laugh, busted.

- "And they are, indeed. Thank you very much!"- Dave added and we all raised our glasses again. The guys continued talking, but Spencer's eyes captured my whole attention. He was staring at his hands, holding his glass. He seemed concerned about something he clearly was overthinking. So I let David's arm go and walked closer to my husband.

- "Are you ok?"- I whispered, resting my hand on top of his. He slightly jumped and looked at me, surprised.

- "Yeah, sorry. I zoned out a little. I'm exhausted."

- "Do you wanna go home?"

- "No, it's Rossi's night..."- Spencer smiled with his teeth, but not with his eyes.

- "The guys..."- but before I could continue talking, I felt JJ's hand grabbing me and my husband and crawling us to the stage.

- "Come on guys!! Karaoke time!"- she commanded, as she gave us a mic, and Rossi started singing Billy Joey's "Piano Man". I looked around me, chuckling, 'cos the whole scene was surreal. The entire FBI quarters was in that bar, drinking and singing along as my friends and I sang karaoke. And Hotch even made a video.

Spencer held my hand as he tried to read the lyrics of The Piano Man, and I stared at him remembering the day he proposed. That was one of the most romantic things he had ever done. And watching him sing karaoke in that bar brought me back a million memories. We had grown so much already, that I felt we were ready to take our relationship to the next level: parenting. But somehow, I was scared to ask my husband if he wanted to have a baby with me.

As the night progressed, and Penelope got drunker and drunker, she continued to ask us about kids. She was very excited and eager to become an aunt. Apparently, our baby geniuses were what her life was lacking. Rossi was pretty drunk too, he sang a lot of Sinatra and even dragged Hotch on stage with him for a duet. I had a few whiskeys myself trying to find the courage to face my husband, who had a few drinks as well but kept doing his best to mask the fact something was bothering him.

Until I couldn't stand it anymore.

- "Ok, come here."- I grabbed Spencer's hand and dragged him through the crowd. I heard Morgan teasing us but I paid little attention to what he said. I just looked for a quiet spot in that packed bar, which ended up being the alley outside and asked my husband.

- "What is hunting that pretty brain of yours?"- and he stared at me with wide-opened eyes, trying to come up with something to deny what was obvious to me.

- "How much did you drink, chipmunk? I'm ok."

- "No you are not, you haven't been ok since we came back from the last case. So come on, spit it. I don't wanna dance around this for days until we both do something stupid or say something hurtful. Just say it, what is eating you alive?"

Spencer stared at me and finished his drink- a light beer- his eyes were so sweet and yet filled with fear. What was so scary that he couldn't share with me?

- "I hate that you know me so well sometimes"- he whispered and looked down at his shoes

- "No you don't. You love it."- I teased him and smiled as I walked closer and rested my hands on his waist- "Come on honey bunny. You know you can tell me anything."

- "I know."

- "So? Are you gonna tell your wife what's wrong?"- I whispered and Spencer finally looked at me. His puppy eyes could melt the coldest heart, and make my knees shake.

- "Let me ask you this"- he whispered after a few seconds of a very deep silence- "When you married me, did you ever think that my family's illness history might affect our kids?"

I stared at him confused. Which was that illness' history he was talking about? As far as I knew, it was just his mother's schizophrenia. Was there something else he never told me about?

- "What?"- I simply asked and Spencer stared at me like the answer was obvious- "You mean Diana?"- he nodded and looked back at his feet again, embarrassed he brought it up.

- "I just... can't stop thinking I could never forgive myself if our kids inherit any of..."- he stopped talking and shook his head, unable to even finish that sentence.

- "Where is this coming from? Why are you thinking about these kinds of things?"

I held his hand and kissed it, his eyes were still glued to his feet, not moving. A few curls of hair fell down his forehead, giving him an angelic look.

- "I never even considered it, Spencer. Not even once. Every time I think about our kids, I dream of them running around, catching bugs, and eating cookies"- I tell him my truth. I never considered Diana's schizophrenia as something we could even think about when it came to our kids. Why should we? You can't predict any disease and fear was not going to stop me from having my own family.

Spencer held my left hand and kissed my ring finger, a sweet gesture he did quite often, especially when something was troubling him.

- "I would never forgive myself if any of them inherited a disease from me."- the way Spencer whispered those words, so slowly, so scared. It moved me.

- "Honey, you won't..."

- "I just don't want to ruin their life"- his eyes filled with tears and his voice broke. My husband was honestly concerned about something that we couldn't even control. And I knew that meant that idea was eating him alive.

I remember walking with him from the back alley of a bar to our car parked on the other side of the street. It was late and everyone at the party was already drunk, so I didn't bother saying goodbye or telling anyone we were leaving.

Spencer and I sat in the back seat of our car and I held both of his hands as he kept trying not to cry. His jaw was tightened and his eyes glassy. It made me feel so guilty. My husband had been chewing those torturous thoughts the entire week, and I had been blind enough to think he was merely second-guessing having kids with me.

- "Spencer, I need you to look at me."- I whispered and held a finger underneath his chin, forcing his eyes to focus on mine. He bit his lip as I did my best to remain calm.

- "This is important, so please give your entire attention and eidetic memory."- I tried to joke, but he didn't smile or even move his face as I spoke.

- "Ever since I realized I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, there hasn't been a day where I haven't thought of how amazing it would be having kids with you."- I said, and tears started falling from his eyes as I spoke. I had to pause and rearrange my thoughts, because watching him so affected made me think I was doing something wrong.

- "And you know that was way before we even started dating. Which means I've dreamed about having kids with you for a long time. And never, and I mean never, the thought of them inheriting any kind of trait from either of us has made me second guess or reconsider my dreams. I want a family with you, Spencer Walter Reid. I want to have your babies. I want to carry your children, a lot of them, as many as we can."

My husband cried and sobbed as I wrapped my arms around him and held him close to me. I didn't know what to do or what to say next. I just wanted to take all the pain away from him.

- "I just... I just want to make you happy."- he mumbled against my neck as I kept running my fingers through his hair and trying my best to be the support he needed at that minute.

- "You already make me happy, Spencer."- I kissed his cheek, not moving an inch away from him- "And I know our kids will make me even happier."

- "I just wish I knew they are going to be healthy."

- "They will be."- I assured him, not giving it much thought.

- "But how do you know?"

- "You are gonna be their dad. You will never let anything bad happen to them."- I affirmed, though it sounded more like an order to fate. - "And I'm gonna be their mom, I will always take care of our babies."

- "You are not scared?"- he asked softly and looked at me with teary eyes.

- "The only thing that scares me to death is the idea of you not wanting to have babies with me."- I confessed, and though he was the one crying, I felt embarrassed sharing my deepest fear.

- "I want so many babies with you. I've thought about it since we met."- my husband answered, and for a second, he smiled at me- "I was scared to bring it up, but... I'm so ready to be a dad."

- "Then please, let me make you a dad."- I was so eager to change his mood and lift his spirits, that I was almost ready to do it right there, in the back seat of our car. His lips found mine, and we sealed our pack, as his arms wrapped me tight and held me close to him.

We were finally ready to start our little family.  

Next chapter

[xetlynn]

Twilight- The Switch of Daylight: Chapter Seven, Reincarnate Pt. 2

(Alice x Reader x Jasper)

[six] [seven] [eight]

That night I laid in my bed, casually going from staring at my ceiling to the books and the papers I have information written on. My eyes then flicker over to the whipped up papers from the letter that Alice and Jasper gave me. My fists begin to clench from the thought of how Sam knew that what was in that letter was about some prophecy that I'm in. ME. It's valuable to knowing what or who I am.

I go back to staring up at the ceiling. This was a the worst time for me. Especially because it's the loneliest. It was better when I had the Cullen's. I'd sneak out of the window when I knew Charlie was sleeping and go hang out with them until it was time for me to go back in the morning before my dad would check that I was sleeping in bed. It became a habit for him after I went missing. I knew he still had a hard time with it, it's something I feel guilty for knowing that eventually I'm going to have to fake my death. Alice and the other's, I knew they were right. That he's going to question me when I'm forty with no wrinkles. That's why I'm going to do it in a few years, when I know he's happier. When he's found someone for himself to lean on.

I just hope he isn't stubborn enough to not find that person.

I should call Billy Black before I forget.

Just then I get some weird energy burst through me, I sit upright quickly. I look around my room confused. "What the hell?" I whisper to myself, probably not even audible to a normal human. Standing up, I go over to the books. Feeling myself getting drawn over to them, which is strange. I read through them numerous times, I shouldn't have missed anything. I grab the second book, opening it up and flipping through it. Then as I sit back down on my bed, my eyes start to feel heavy. Like I was actually getting tired. I haven't felt this feeling for months. It was a feeling I didn't think I was going to miss.

I lay back down on the bed and let it take over my body.

But when I woke up I wasn't home. I was awake, it felt cloudy though, possibly a dream but more real. "[Name], help yer brother set up the fishin' trap!" A man's voice called out. I sat up from the bed I was in, glancing down to see the white cotton dress I wore. I scrunched up my face, confused on what was happening.

"[Name], come on! Didn't ya hear yer father?" A woman storms into the room I was in and I stare at her, not understanding what was happening. "I- what?" I spoke with uncertainty.

"Yer father told ya to help yer brother, [Name] and you ain't even dressed?" The woman tsk's at me, a baby on her hip who babbles adorably. "My father?" I rub my forehead, getting up from the bed. "[Name] Adkins, don't play dumb wit' me and do as yer told." She points a finger in my face before slamming the wooden door behind her. I glance around before going over to a dresser, pulling out some dress. I huff, staring at whatever kind of style this was.

"Where the fuck am I?" I go to pinch myself to wake up but nothing happens. I even feel the pain.

"Adkins? Who the fuck is Adkins?" I mutter to myself, throwing the dress over my head. Smoothing it out before looking around the room I'm in once again. It had a wooden dresser, then a strange mirror that seemed nailed into the wooden wall. I then look at my bed that had quilts laid on it with a two pillows.

"Strange." I finally leave the room, the house was smaller. It's like when you go to a museum type place that builds the houses from "the past", this is exactly what it looks like.

Are the Quileute boys playing some prank on me?

I go outside, a body comes up next to me, nudging me and I almost attack it. Then my body freezes once I notice who it was. "Jasper?" I step back. "Yes, darlin'?" He chuckles, pulling me in for a kiss. My body's tense as I let it happen. "Aren't you mad at me?" I ask once he lets me go. Not even realizing I was trying to catch my breath.

Catch my breath?

I then feel my heart beating and the sun down on me, a slight panic sets through me but I hide it. "Mad at you, whatever for, sweetheart?" Jasper questions me, he takes my arm in his and we are walking to a small boy who's setting up some wired trap. "For... for-" I look at his clothes, he's wearing a loose white button up with pants that seemed maybe a little tight. And to top it off a cowboy hat on the top of his head. "I don't know." I laugh nervously. It all catching up with me, his accent, his outfit, the mysterious woman.

This is a past life.

My first life. 

"All right, if you say so, darlin'." He kisses my cheek before joining the little boy to help him with the trap he was making.

"Honey, can you hold Jesiah while I start up dinner?" The same woman comes over to me, handing me the baby before I can even respond. "Uh, of course." I mutter out. My memories of this life are a little fuzzy. I'm slowly remembering though. The little boy, making the trap is Jakov my younger brother who's 9, the baby is obviously Jesiah. My father, he's Jakov too, my brother is named after him. And the mysterious woman, she's my mother, Willow.

I carefully walk down the hill with the baby, sitting down near Jasper and Jakov.

This seems like a really simple life. Jasper is my love in my first ever life. Who would've thought? I know I saw him in the dessert field before I was killed but I didn't know we actually knew each other. Why didn't he tell me?

"Darlin'! You alright? You seem dazed." Jasper comes up to me, I smile over at him. "Just remembering something about you." I answer him, it's the truth I am. He just doesn't know it's from his future. "What about me?" He nudges me with his elbow before tickling my baby brother a little bit, just enough to make him smile. "How we first met." I lean my head on his shoulder.

"Oh wow, that's been quite some time." He chuckles, wrapping an arm around me and we both watch my little brother use the fishing trap they just put together. "Now we're finally to be wed..." He whispers, my eyes widen quickly covering it up even though he doesn't see it. How didn't I remember this when I got my memories back? I feel something on my neck and I go to feel it. It's a locket. Almost like the one my father gave when I moved to Forks. I look down at it and it's the exact one...

And just as I go to ask him a question everything starts to get tiring. My eyes getting heavy, and as much as I try to fight it, I fall asleep with my head on Jasper's shoulder.

I thought this time I would wake back up to my real home. My life I'm supposed to be in right now but instead I wake up in a hospital. Confused I rub my head, sitting up.

A nurse comes in, her face was skinny, her eyes sunken in like she hasn't slept in weeks. "Please, no trouble today, [Name]." She has a syringe needle on a tray with other things, placing it down in-front of me. I stay quiet, letting her do what she needs to do. "You're not going to bite today?" She seemed relieved, I mean I would too knowing someone wasn't going to bite me in a what I'm guessing is a mental hospital. "No." I whisper, rubbing my arm after she gets done with what she's doing.

"Why am I here?" I question quietly. "Don't mess with me [Name]." She scoffs in my direction, writing something down in a file. "I'm not." I truthfully tell her. "You tried to jump off of a bridge, you can't tell me you don't remember that, [Name]." She places her hands on her hips after placing the file down.

"Why am I still here?" I ask, trying to act like that was my actual question and not the first one. "You've resisted help and fought the staff until today, which is strange I might add." Her voice was hoarse, raspy even. "Oh, sorry." I glance away from her.

"I'm going to get the doctor to check you and then it's time for breakfast." She rolls her eyes, leaving the room, shutting the door behind her and I'm alone in the room again.

I stand up, seeing a mirror across from me. I look at myself in the mirror. It's definitely a two way mirror. Someone could be on the other side of it watching me. I squint my eyes to check if I can see anything, knowing that I can't I move on to the next thing in the room. A water bottle. Man, I might look crazy right now. I guess it fits being where I am. I can't believe one of my lives I wanted to die. I actually wanted death. What happened to me? My memories of my past lives are being subjective and I'm not enjoying this at all.

The door suddenly opens to show a man in a white coat. I back away from him instinctively. My arms tingle with goosebumps. The hairs standing up on my skin and I suddenly feel like I'm in danger.

"Hey, it's just me" Yeah I think that's the problem. "Take a seat on the bed." He tells me and I shake my head. Why do I feel this way? "[Name] you were being so cooperative I heard, what happened?" There's a smile on his face but it doesn't feel welcoming. "Hey the sooner you do as you're told the sooner you can get out of here." He tries to come near me but I back away once more, accidentally falling onto the bed anyways. "See, wasn't so hard." He grabs the stool from across the room, scooting it over to the bed I'm now sitting on. "Alright, have you been taking your medicine?"

And dejavu kicks in. I remember this. I wasn't taking the medicine, I hid it under my tongue then threw it away. "Yes." I lie. I obviously did it for a reason. This isn't real anyways. I'm reliving past things. I think...

The consultation was long, but luckily now they're letting me out of this room to go eat breakfast. A nurse walked beside me, a file in hand, she was writing as she walked. I observed the hospital around me, the people I mean. They were all different. Obviously, that was stupid to say.

The nurse helped me get my food and then I sat down by myself. I begin to eat the crappy food, thankfully it didn't taste like sand. I miss having tastebuds like I used to. Caught in thought about missing food I didn't even see the smaller body that sat in front of me. When I glanced upwards I see it's Alice.

My Alice.

She seems more frail than I've ever seen her. She smiles at me and I do it back. Now trying to see if I can remember anything.

I'm only seeing bits and pieces of things in my mind, we've kissed in this life. "Did he do anything this time?" She speaks. I look up at her confused. "He?" I question. "Doctor Monse. Did he try to hurt you again?" She asks, my eyes widen slightly. That's why I felt danger around him...

"He didn't." I say, I notice her shoulders relax. "Good, you're being cooperative now." She smiles, she didn't ask this, it was a statement. I wonder how she knew. "Yes." I admit. "My words finally gotten to your head?" I feel her hand reach for mine underneath the table, I take it immediately. "Your words?" I smile back to her, tilting my head. "How you should take your chance to leave, and just visit me instead of keeping yourself cooped up here." She reminds me and my mouth goes in the shape of an 'o'.

"Right." I nervously laugh quietly. "I don't want to, but I could help us become something out there." I tell her, mentally I'm confused by my own words. It's like it wasn't me who actually said it. "Love, you don't need to worry about an us. I'm stuck here." She rubs my hand with her thumb.

"I can get you out." I assure her, she stays quiet this time, only a shake of her head in response before we're all told lunch time is about to be over.

Looking at her I start to become tired. "No." I whisper. Sitting up straight and letting go of Alice's hand. "Are you alright?" She asks me in a mumbled tone. "I want to be here with you a little longer." I urge out, trying to fight the tiredness. "Love bug you have to go home." She tells me, the nickname. That was always my nickname? My chest rises and falls in a quick pace. I don't want to leave. Not yet. Even if this is a dream somehow. Please... I didn't realize my time was going to be so short in my past lives.

And now it's dark.

When I wake up, I'm not gasping for air. I'm not breathing anymore. I'm home again. "Damn it!" I shout, punching my bed, unintentionally breaking one of the boards underneath. "Shit." I whisper, standing up, and on the floor is the second book I was holding before I fell asleep and went into some weird whatever thing that was. I pick it up and open it to a random page.

"Reincarnate's Soulmates."

Soulmate's as in multiple?

I swear I didn't see this page when I read through it before.

I need Jasper and Alice here. I don't understand any of this.

I need to call Billy or Sam. I don't care. I need help understanding what's going on.

[agust28]

Doubts

pairing leehan x reader WC 1918 Tags angst and fluff. everybody lived happily ever after no worries. such a drama queen (just like me 😭🙏) Notes can you tell i gave up at the end? i haven't slept in over 24 hours :D i feel like a zombie also i still haven't figured out the request button ugh MISTAKES EVERYWHERE SORRY

It was a cold and windy night as you sat on the bottom of the slide. The reason for you being out in such temperature with only a light sweatshirt and sweat was due to a huge fight with your boyfriend, Leehan. You two had been planning a small, simple date to catch up since there hadn’t been much communication between the two of you due to hectic schedules. You reminded him multiple times throughout the week, and each time he would reply, saying, 'I know, don't worry.' It wasn't easy to take time off from your job, especially during the weekend, so it was valid for you to be worried about making sure you both were on the same page.

Then comes the day of the date. You had woken up early, anticipating a message from Leehan, but no luck. You brushed it off, thinking he was just sleeping in. Two hours passed, and still nothing from him. It was nearing the time of your date, and you were already at the cafe you both decided to meet up at. You were starting to feel anxious, worrying if something had happened to him, and he wasn't just ditching you because he forgot. You sent numerous text messages asking where he was, hoping he'd reply. You gave up and decided to call him instead.

Your worry seemed to grow each time you got sent to voicemail and resorted to calling one of his members, hoping they had an answer about his whereabouts. You stumbled upon Sungho's contact first and waited for him to answer.

“Hello?” he's confused as to why you're calling since it's a rare occurrence.

“Sungho! I keep trying to reach Leehan, but he's not answering! Are you with him?”

“Uh, yeah, he's down in the cafeteria.” He's confused as to why you sound so worried and why Leehan hasn't responded to you. Your heart immediately plummets. He actually forgot your date.

“Y/n? You there?” Sungho's question brings you back to reality.

“Do you want me to get Leehan-” you cut him off. “No, it's alright!”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, um, can you not mention any of this to Leehan? Please.” He ponders about whether or not he should obey your request or inform his friend.

“Please, Sungho? It's nothing to worry about; I was just a bit anxious.” Sungho sighs. “…Okay, I won't, but promise to fix whatever's going on between you two?” You let out a sigh of relief. “I will, don't worry.” You exchange goodbyes before hanging up. You stand outside the cafe just a little longer, thinking maybe this was all just some silly prank and your boyfriend is actually on his way. But you knew it wasn't, so you head home.

It's a few hours after the date gone wrong when Leehan shows up at your place. He enters your apartment thanks to the spare key you gave him a while back. He searches the living room looking for you to be lounging on the sofa or reading a book, but you're nowhere to be found. Leehan calls out for you, thinking you're probably in bed since it was late. And he was right because he enters your room and sees you cozied up under the sheets with your phone in hand.

“There you are! I called out for you.” You simply glance and go back to scrolling on TikTok, scoffing under your breath. You can't believe he had the audacity to come over after ditching you and ignoring all your attempts to contact him.

“Hello? Are you ignoring me?” he teases as he waves his hands trying to get your attention.

“What?” you ask aggravated, watching him laugh. As if there was anything to laugh about right now! His smile is immediately replaced with a frown. “Did I do something wrong?” his brows furrowed, trying to think what he could have done.

“Do you seriously not remember?” Your emotions are hitting all at once, and before you know it, there are tears running down your face. “I can't believe it,” you mutter and push past him. “What? Why are you crying? What's wrong?” he's panicking, trying to figure out what he's done to make you cry.

Before you can make it to the front door, he catches your wrist, and his heart clenches at the sight of your tears. You attempt to look down and rid your tears, but it's no use. “Our date? The one we've been planning for a whole week? The one I kept reminding you about!” you burst out in anger and sadness. His eyes immediately widen in realization.

“I can't believe you forgot! I tried calling you and texting you! You never answered! I was so worried something had happened, so I called Sungho just so he could tell me you were with him the entire time!” Sungho talked to you? And didn't even tell him?

“Do you know how embarrassing it was for people to come up and ask for a chair, and for me to say, ‘No sorry, it's for my boyfriend,’ just for my boyfriend not to show up!” he's trying to process everything and get some words out, but you immediately snatch your wrist back and try to make a run, but he throws himself between you and the door.

“Wait! Please let me explain!”

“No! Move!” you try shoving him, but no success. “I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, please just wait!” You let out a frustrated cry, attempting one more time to shove him before giving up and turning your back to him. While you have your back turned, Leehan pulls out his phone with shaking hands, wondering why he wasn't aware of your calls. The blood drains from his face when he realizes his phone had been on DND. He turns it off, and instantly, all your notifications appear on his screen. He understands now why he didn't receive a good morning text like normal. He brushed it off, thinking you had a busy schedule and eventually forgot all about you. Instead, he immersed himself in his work, not bothering to check his phone at all. Until now.

By now, you've moved to the couch, head hung low, and shoulders shaking. Clear indication you're still crying over all this. He rushes to your side and tries to call out for you, hoping you'd give him a chance to explain, but you just shake your head no. You two sit there in silence, your sobs now subsided. He desperately wants to fix this but thinks you should speak first. That is if you even want to speak to him. He thinks maybe he should say something when you announce that you need space.

“Okay, I'll leave-” you cut him off. “No, I'm leaving. I- I need air.”

“Now? It's way too late for you! I'll leave; you stay,” he starts walking towards the door when you rush past him and make your way outside. “No, Leehan, I'm leaving!” you don't even give him a chance to explain before quickly disappearing.

You end up in a park late at night, slight regret seeping in due to the cold weather and eerie silence. But honestly, you're too consumed with your thoughts to really care. After gathering your thoughts, you realize now you may have overdone it with the dramatics and giving him no chance to explain. But it'd been so long since the two had an actual date and talked to each other other than the daily good mornings and 'have you eaten' messages. You were starting to get worried that the two of you were drifting apart, and sooner or later, Leehan would come to the conclusion that you guys were better off as friends than lovers.

Still in your thoughts, you fail to notice the footsteps coming your way. After you stormed off, Leehan mentally smacked himself for letting you leave in the cold late night and sprung into action. He got himself a blanket and beanies before bolting out the door. It took at least 10 minutes before he considered calling the police to start a search party for you when he spotted a familiar figure sitting all alone. He lets out a sigh of relief and rushes towards you.

“Hey,” a deep voice startles you, and you instantly get up, ready to make another run for it when you register that it was actually your boyfriend. You sit back down and turn your body away from him.

“You found me,” he hums and asks if he could sit. You shrug, which he takes as a yes, and drapes the blanket over you. You let him because honestly, you were two seconds away from becoming a statue. You're internally scolding yourself for leaving in such flimsy clothing when he speaks.

“I'm so sorry for forgetting our date. I promise I didn't ignore you on purpose. My phone was on DND, and I didn't notice, I swear. I wondered why I didn't get a good morning text from you, but I brushed it off thinking work was holding you up. I didn't want to bother you, so I let it go and eventually forgot all about it once I was called to the studio. I haven't checked my phone all day, I swear!” He glances over to you, wanting your reaction, but you're still turned around.

“I- I'm sorry; I know none of that excuses me missing our date, but I just want you to know I didn't ignore you on purpose. I love you; I would never do that,” his voice turns into a whisper towards the end due to the built-up emotions he didn't know he had. “Y/n, say something, please,” he begs with tears starting to form.

You try to stand your ground and toughen up, but your body betrays you, and before you know it, you're sobbing again. Leehan rushes to wrap his arms around you, and you let him because it feels like it's been eternity since you've held each other. You end up on his lap with the blanket wrapped around you both and his hands running through your hair to calm your sobs.

“You wanna talk about it?” he breaks the silence, and you want to shake your head no, but you know you can't avoid this forever. This time you break the silence and get out everything that's been bottling up inside of you. He stares at you dumbfounded, wondering how long you had been holding that in. Guilt fills his mind just imagining you having doubts about your relationship. He internally scolds himself for not noticing any of this sooner. Tears start to form again as you take in his dumbfounded face for something else.

“Oh no! You really are gonna break up with me, aren't you!” that brings him back to you and rushes to deny such a horrible claim.

“No, we are not breaking up! Stop thinking that.” he continues to soothe you before a gust of wind reminds him that they are still outside in the freezing cold.

“Let's go inside and talk about this,” he gently whispers and gets up carrying you back home. Once you're settled inside and warmed up, you discuss all the doubts and worries about your relationship while Leehan reassures you that nothing will break you apart. Although it'll take a while to get your relationship back to how it was before, it's all worth it if you have each other.

[imraespace]

LIFE'S HARD WHEN YOU'RE INLOVE ─

─ WITH RIN ITOSHI !!

At a certain time, when the sun is down and the moon is up, you normally will hear the sounds of sleeping. That peaceful feeling of letting go of everything while regenerating your energy is a feeling that everyone loves. Especially yourself, yet you're here up at 3:49 AM, re-reading that one part in the book where the character "fell in-love".

"Her mind goes blank everytime she sees him.. // Thoughts cannot formulate anymore.. // Before she knew it, she had already fell.."

Your eyes scanned the words, reading what it feels like to fall in-love. So before, what you felt wasn't love, it didn't feel like how it is in the book. So when will you fall in-love? Even though you always say these simple words, "Relationships are too much work..", but sometimes, a girl can only just dream.

The darkness that surrounds your room blackens out your thoughts from the outside world, leaving you alone in your bed, under your blanket with your phone light, showing you the words you wished, secretly wished, to feel one day.

And so, with those thoughts the darkness swallowed you entirely, leaving you to dream with romance on your mind.

It has been 5 minutes since your alarm went off but finally, it reached your ears causing you to awaken from your slumber. A little bit of drool pooled around one spot on your bed as you realized that the posture you fell asleep on, caused your mouth to hang a bit.

The sun from your window gave you some sort of guide to understand your surroundings a bit better. A little too good actually..

"Why can I.." you mumbled, touching your face until you finally got to your eyes, feeling your frames. You groaned, rising from your position, leaving the open book on your bed as you reached for the phone next to it.

Finally, the alarming sound was gone and now it was just silence. It didn't help that you haven't achieved your full 8 hours of sleep, rather you got 3 hours this time.

Staring off into the distance of your room, debating if you should go back to sleep, or get ready for school. Maybe checking your socials will help a bit..

So you opened Instagram, to shake the sleepiness off but after two scrolls..

Back into that position you woke up in! Even with the glasses on.

"There's no way in hell I'm gonna deal with this again." An annoyed Reo said. Here he is, glaring at you with his hands on his hips, ignoring the boy next to you.

It was now 7:00 AM and Reo had a time waking the both of you, which is normal and this "talk" as well is normal. Yet he always ignores the boy..

Though he always says "Thanks to you both, my mornings aren't perfect.", or something so, both you and Seishiro were too busy trying not to sleep through his rants.

After the very normal morning routine in your home with the boys, you three were finally in school. Reo and Sei said their goodbyes as they left to go to their class while leaving you alone to enter into yours.

You placed your items on your table, then..

"Rise and shine! No sleeping here!!" A voice stopped her from resting her head on the desk.

Your eyes shifted from the desk under you, to your one and only best friends! Meguru and Yoichi!!

"Are you okay? You look kinda.." Yoichi started, pulling up a chair to sit next to you but his eyes never left your face.

A pout was formed as you thought about how many hours of precious sleep you lost.

Meguru sat himself on your desk, patting your head.

"You look kinda dead!" Meguru boldly pointed out.

"I stayed up until 3.." You mumbled. The patting ceased and confused looks shot at you.

The duo looked at each other and then at you.

"Are you depressed?"

"..What."

"Are you sick?"

The sudden wave of questions caused your eyebrows to knit together in confusion as you stared back at them.

"Why are you asking me these questions..?" You glared at them.

They looked back at you as if you asked the most insane question ever.

"Well um, you're the only person we know who sleeps longer than 8 hours." Meguru started, as Yoichi supported him.

"We rarely see you stay up, almost never." He said.

Now that you think about it, they do have a point. You're not the one to stay up, mostly just sleeping through everything.

"Oh I was up thinking about love." You simply stated.

And with that bomb-dropped sentence, the boys went dead silent. Until Meguru started laughing.

"WHAT'S SO FUNNY?" You lashed out, standing up from your seat.

"Seems like she's not sleepy anymore.." Yoichi mumbled.. "She sounds grumpy though.." He continued.

Meguru on the other hand had to stop himself from falling off the table, while laughing. You stared at him for a while, with a scowl on your face, waiting for him to stop laughing.

Yoichi, who held a small smile on his face, watched how his friends interacted with each other.

"I won't say it's funny but it's not normal for you." He said, trying to not turn the situation into a funny one.

"Yeah I know I was just thinking, okay?" You mumbled, finding yourself back in your seat, watching as Meguru had finally died down.

His eyes landed on you, giggling a bit at the idea, which caused you to form a small pout on your face. You rolled your eyes and sighed, dropping your head softly on his lap, only because he was on your desk.

"I'm sorry for laughing..!" He softly exclaimed, petting your head that rests on his lap. His habit of petting your head always seems to cheer you up or calm down. Another one is Yoichi's hugs. Those seem to be your favorite.

Twisting your head on his lap, only to see who had entered the classroom thus far, you began to stare at a boy. He wasn't looking in your direction but something about his side view seems.. capturing.

The more you stared, the more Meguru petted your head, the more you drifted off into the dreamland and no one seemed to stop you this time, accepting the duty of waking you up when it's class time.

However, that same boy had noticed your staring. His eyebrows knitted together in confusion yet he shook it off as he saw that you were falling asleep.

## LIFE'S HARD WHEN YOU'RE INLOVE. --

╴“ WITH RIN ITOSHI?? „

ฅ^._.^ฅ : some things about y/n !! she mostly sleeps through the day, only does stuff IF needed !! with her given gift of being effortlessly smart , all she does in her free time is : nap , eat , sleep. hmm what if.. one day y/n develops a crush and now has to ACTUALLY work to achieve a goal ? : date rin itoshi !!

2 // 4

TAGLIST!!: @deezy12299 @kuroronana (OPEN)

-`♥︎´- for this story, i'm trying a something new, which includes words/phrases, foods and hometowns from japan and germany. if there's any errors please point it out !

-`♥︎´- word count : 1k