#is it canon or canon divergent? who knows

[bruhstories]

Bet V

p.1 here & p2. here & p.3 here & p.4 here

mandatory mdni. you were not tagged in this because you are not over 18.

summary: in his attempt to break you, in-ho breaks himself pairing: hwang in-ho/the front man x civilian!reader warnings & content: age gap, masturbation, voyeurism, afab!reader, slightly detailed descriptions of reader’s background for plot purposes, red text for in-ho, purple for reader, pre 33rd squid game, canon divergent, veeeery slow burn, reader’s dad is dead w/c: 2k

a/n: this is my half-assed attempt at writing a game lol. if you would like to be tagged for the next part, please check this post! thank you for reading! please remember that if you asked to be tagged but i can’t find your age on your blog, you will NOT be tagged. there will be smut and people dying lol.

Neolttwigi had been another success. The seesaw game eliminated 91 people, and with 97 remaining players, In-ho proceeded with tuho. He paid close attention to the masked soldiers who directed the survivors to the same place where they had previously played Red Light, Green Light, only the floor was divided by a bright blue line in the middle. The ceiling was open, letting players experience natural light for a second time in a row.

The game was awfully simple —  throwing arrows into the neck of a jar. In-ho remembered reading about that game in school, how it was played by royal families and the upper class before becoming a game for everyone, and the jar had a narrow neck, making it easy to miss the mark. He had rarely played it as a child, preferring juldarigi or squid, games he taught his younger brother.

It became a habit for him to check the cameras in his penthouse whenever you were there. It brought him a strange peace of mind knowing that Eunjoo was safe in your hands, but he couldn't, for the life of him, stop looking at the selfie you sent the day before. In-ho knew that walking into a lamppost was bullshit, but he didn't want to pressure you into telling him the truth. He needed you to trust him, to tell him willingly. 

Still, he examined the picture —  your cheek in particular — and concluded that you lied to him. In-ho took it as a triumph. He didn't win the bet just yet, there was still time for you to mess up, but the fact that you chose to not tell the truth only solidified his belief that you were the same as everyone else. In four days he would return to Seoul and win. The prize? He wasn’t sure. Perhaps just the satisfaction that he was above you.

Players entered the field, and the voice in the speaker instructed them to split into teams of two in less than thirty minutes, which was unfair to player 002, since there was an odd number of people. 002 was taken away by a guard, and the remaining 96 players grouped into pairs. While the objective was indeed simple — throw the arrows in the jar — it came with a twist. It always did. Each player was given four arrows, but one of them was blindfolded and threw the arrows while their teammate picked the jar up and tried to catch the arrow in it. Once all four arrows were thrown, the teammates switched places. If at least six out of eight arrows hit the mark, both players passed, but if one player threw four arrows and the other only two, they both died. 

The game took out fewer people than In-ho had hoped — 19 to be precise. Player 002 was alive and well, and the remaining 77 survivors returned to their chamber, where more and more beds had been removed, exposing the remaining three games on the walls — Hide and Seek, Yutnori and Ssireum. He remembered his time as a player, how he was the only one who paid attention to his surroundings and anticipated the following games. In-ho used all of his skills and knowledge as a detective and emerged as the sole survivor and winner. Did it bring his wife back? No, but it did make him feel so good when proved he earned his right to live.

Players were receiving less and less food, and from the comfort and safety of the control room, In-ho watched them slowly lose all traces of their humanity. He wondered how you would've performed in the games. Participants would have abused your kindness, and your good intentions would've gotten you killed. To make it worse, he was certain you would've sacrificed yourself to save someone else, someone you deemed worthy of winning. But in his eyes, only you deserved to live.

His phone vibrated in his pocket, and In-ho took it out to read the text from you. He knew it had to be you. Who else would text him at that time?

Hellooo, I took a look in the fridge and noticed the eggs and milk will go bad before you come back. I was wondering if I could give it to someone who needs it.

Damn it, you did it again. In-ho couldn't be sure that you actually gave the food to someone else — he had to take your word for it for now.

Of course. May I ask who you're giving it to?

Remember the family I told you about? The one I teach Korean to? The wife is pregnant and can't work. I think she's due to give birth soon, actually, and they could use all the help. Besides, it would be a shame to throw away perfectly good food :)

Don't you want it, miss? When we first met, you told me you didn't have a good financial situation.

Oh, no, no. I'll be fine. They need it more.

Very well, please give it to them.

Ah, I also remembered you left some money on your nightstand. With all due respect, Mr. Hwang, that's very irresponsible. Anyone could take it.

Were you lecturing him? Him? Cute. In-ho even chuckled at your reprimand, finding it adorably amusing. If only you knew the things he did, the people he killed. How would you react? That question was beginning to take over his mind like a maggot wriggling inside of his brain. Would you be disgusted? Would you go to the police? Would you agree with his ways of cleaning the world of its impurities? It was no different than how you cleaned his penthouse — you both got rid of trash.

You're right, miss. There is a safe hidden in my wardrobe. Please put the money there. The code is 1321.

Surely you would crack at the sight of so much money and try to take some. No one sane would miss such an opportunity. But then again, maybe you weren't sane. Maybe you just needed a little push, a little encouragement. In-ho poured himself a glass of whisky and thought about the wound on your cheek, and the night you were crying on his kitchen floor. Someone had hurt you, and he needed to find out who so he could exploit that. And then, you would break. 

He was, however, slightly conflicted, because he didn’t want to ruin you. In-ho merely wanted to make you see things eye to eye. Just like him, life had been unfair to you. And just like him, you needed to survive. Kindness wouldn't take you very far — you had to witness the cruelty of the world somehow, and the only possible way to do that was to play the game and survive it, something In-ho knew you would never do due to your values and morals. And he couldn't wait one more year to push you past your limits. He needed to think of something else, and he needed to do it fast — time was ticking and you were a project he refused to let slip through his fingers.

In-ho checked the cameras at the time you normally arrived at the penthouse, patiently waiting for you. He was pleased to see that you were in a better mood, cheerfully greeting Eunjoo as you went about with your tasks, but something was different. You appeared to be texting someone, and he never received any notifications on his phone, yet you were quite busy chatting back and forth. His stomach churned, an amalgamation of feelings bubbling and boiling in his core. Anxiety? Anger? Jealousy? 

Jealousy.

You always sent him a text upon your arrival. You always let him know that you were there, so who occupied your mind if not him? The sudden lack of the very little control he had over you made him trip in his room and lose balance, and he forcefully ripped the mask off and tossed it on the floor. 

In-ho was losing the bet he made with himself, and not in the way he had imagined.

It wasn't him who lived in your mind, but you who invaded his, and it infuriated him, because after his wife died, he refused to get attached, refused to fall in love. Luckily for him, it wasn't love that he felt for you, but an unhealthy obsession to watch you, to know your every move, to find out who hurt you and make you hurt them back. 

You performed your tasks with utmost perfection, and placed the money in his safe while ignoring the riches inside it, but you were distracted, constantly looking at your phone and half-smiling whenever it lit up. In-ho couldn't have that. 

How's Eunjoo?

Since you were so busy talking to someone, he expected you to frown at his text, to scoff and ignore it. But you did worse. You stopped folding his clothes and sat on the edge of his bed, beaming at the message on the screen.

She's alright! We had dinner and a cuddle, and now she's playing next to me. I'll send you a picture!

In-ho watched you struggle to take a photo of the cat — each time you took out your phone, Eunjoo stopped playing, so you swapped to the front camera, trying to sneak a picture. You even smoothed your hair and made yourself look presentable, and he found it quite adorable that you tried to look presentable for him.

I'm sorry you have to see my face, but she wouldn't sit still for a photo!

You were stunning. It was all In-ho could think about when he opened the photo. Your bright eyes were like a drug to him, instantly hooking him, forcing him to regain a shred of humanity.

Don't apologise, miss. You're beautiful.

There it was, the crack he so desperately sought for. You were practically hyperventilating in his bedroom, struggling to breathe, constantly rereading the words on your phone. And then he heard you talk to Eunjoo, heard you question your own sanity. But no, In-ho didn't like you. He was simply interested in breaking you, oblivious to how you were breaking him.

"Damn it. I promised Donghyun I'd go for a coffee after work tomorrow. I'm so confused now." Your distorted voice crackled through his speaker, and In-ho clenched his jaw, barely stopping himself from breaking his phone.

Who the fuck was Donghyun? And more importantly, why did he care? 

He didn't care, or at least that was what he told himself for the past few days. He didn't care. He didn't give a shit about you. He didn't-

The familiar words of Frank Sinatra's Fly Me To The Moon stopped him dead in his tracks. In-ho turned the volume up, still in disbelief that you knew the song, that you sung it in his bedroom like no one was watching you. It was impossible how similar you were to him, to how he was before life took a turn. But a song and a kind heart weren't enough to change him. It was far too late for that. The only possible outcome was for you to become like him, and he wouldn't accept anything else.

For the first time, In-ho didn't offer you privacy when you stepped into his bathroom. For the first time, he watched as you peeled off each layer of clothing, and for the first time, he saw every scar and scratch, every burn and bruise on your body, new and old, and he understood. You had already faced the realities of this cruel world, and you chose not to become vengeful. Your father died, your uncle abused you, and yet, you shined.

The unforeseen urge to protect you seeped through his veins, but not before you got your revenge. You deserved to get revenge more than anyone in the world. And if you didn't want that, he'd make you want it one way or another.

"Fuck." In-ho whispered when his cock twitched in his trousers at the sight of your bare body. So vulnerable. So weak. So perfect. 

He sat down, phone in one hand and his eyes only on you. It was pure instinct when he fisted his cock, pure instinct when your name spilled from his lips, pure instinct when he imagined you under him, wriggling and writhing, pure instinct when he came on his fingers, disgusted with himself.

Pure instinct. Nothing more.

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[defectivevillain]

the games we play

pairing: Gi-hun/Young-il/Reader

the reader's race & gender are ambiguous; no pronouns or physical descriptors are used.

summary: “And surely you’ve seen the way Young-il looks at you,” you press on, motivated by Gi-hun’s silence. “Like he wants to pick you apart, break you into pieces, and then put you back together again.” Gi-hun is quiet for several moments. “I… haven’t noticed that,” he eventually admits. He pauses for a moment, evidently thinking. “I’ve seen Young-il look at you like that.” Something unpleasant jumps in your chest. “Then we’re both in trouble,” you huff, rubbing a hand over your eyes.

Gi-hun and you attempt to navigate the 33rd Squid Game, under the watchful eye of the enigmatic Oh Young-il.

word count: 10.3k | ao3 version | fic playlist

warnings: spoilers to Squid Game season 2; canon-typical blood, violence, and death.

author's notes: This is Gi-hun/Reader/In-ho (Young-il) centric. Leaning heavily on Gi-hun/Reader, with subtle In-ho moments. The reader is written to have incurred debt from their undergraduate studies in America.

This fic does not have a happy ending. Also, it’s canon non-compliant/divergent.

I made a playlist for this fic too. Feel free to listen, if that’s your vibe :3

Thank you to @connorhasabigtip for beta reading this & watching the first four eps with me! love you bitch. and jun-ho is in love with you. so I guess that makes us related fr now.

You first meet Seong Gi-hun in a sandy arena, under the watchful eyes of a killer doll figurine as you play Red Light, Green Light. At the time, you only know him as Player 456—the strangely vocal man who insists that the game comes with the risk of imminent death. You’re not quite sure why you decide to believe him. Maybe it’s because you have no other choice; or maybe it’s just because there’s less risk. Either way, you choose to follow his advice. You end up near the front of the group of players scattered across the field, which means you are forced to remain frozen as you hear gunshot after gunshot. There are people screaming and attempting to escape, but you know it’s no use. They are all shot down, until the doll finally seems to have enough and turns its back on the field once more. 

You take the proffered opportunity to continue running down the field, until it begins to turn around again and you’re forced to freeze. 456 and you are the frontrunners, with 456 focused on helping everyone. He’s calm and collected under pressure—keeping his mouth hidden behind his elbow as he shouts out orders. 

Thanks to his help, the majority of the remaining players survive. And while most of them appear to scorn him for his relentless optimism, you can’t help but feel grateful that he warned everyone. You steal glances at him from across the dorm before gathering the courage to walk up to him and introduce yourself, dipping your head in a mock bow. He returns the gesture, introducing himself as Seong Gi-hun. You talk for a while, before finally relenting and asking him if he’s played these games before. The troubled expression that passes over his face is the only answer you need, but he confirms it verbally anyways. He won the game a few years ago. As for why he came back… he hopes to stop the games once and for all. 

“You’ll need some help then.” You remark, sounding far more confident than you feel at the present moment. “I can join you.” You offer. 

He looks askance. “It’ll be dangerous.” Gi-hun warns you. 

“Everything about these games is dangerous.” You point out. It’s true. If you’re going to die, you’d rather die fighting for something—instead of solely being a victim to these fucked up games. 

“True.” He acquiesces, before sliding over and giving you enough room to sit next to him. You take the proffered space and rest your forearms on your knees, clasping your hands and staring at the players across the dorm. 

“You may want to keep it a secret,” you say after a few moments, tapping your fingers restlessly. “That you’ve played these games before, I mean.” You clarify after seeing his confusion. 

“Why?” Gi-Hun frowns. You’re not surprised by his reaction—while you don’t know Gi-hun very well, it’s clear he has a good heart. He sees the best in people. And while that’s normally an admirable quality, it doesn’t quite help him here. 

“If you warn everyone about the second game now, and then it turns out you’re wrong…” You continue. You’ve been thinking about his show of resistance during the first game, and you suspect whoever is running the game will do whatever it takes to ensure he doesn’t do the same thing again. “You’ll be a pariah. No one will trust you. And that’s exactly what they want. They’re betting on the fact that you’ll tell everyone about the second game. They’ve probably changed it so you’ll lose credibility.” You finally seem to get through to Gi-hun with that remark, as he sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. 

“That’s… a fair point.” He eventually agrees. It seems he hadn’t thought of it. He pinches the bridge of his nose. 

Feeling eyes on your back, you turn around to find a player staring at Gi-hun and you. Your skin burns under his intense gaze, and he shows no embarrassment at the prospect of being caught staring. Instead, he only blinks. You stare at him for a moment, before eventually convincing yourself to turn away. Your skin crawls for the rest of the day, even as you get into bed and try to get some sleep. 

The second game takes place early the next morning, after the majority of players vote to continue the game. You’re once again led through those winding pastel halls and stairs, only to find yourself in an arena reminiscent of a playground. You look over at Gi-hun, who looks a bit troubled by what he sees. Evidently, it’s a bit different from what he saw in the second round of his previous game. 

Once the surviving players are gathered in the space, an announcement confirms that the next game will be a six-legged race. Gi-hun shoots you a relieved look and you remember what he told you after your conversation the previous day. The second round last time was dalgona. It appears the game masters changed the game, just as you predicted. Gi-hun is still looking at you with gratitude and it makes you feel a bit uneasy, knowing the feeling is wasted on you. The announcer’s voice breaks through the static in your mind, directing players to gather in groups of five. 

“I’m with you.” You say after a moment, looking at Gi-hun. It’s meant to be a question, but it comes out more confident and assertive. Internally, you’re a bti more unsure. Sure, you spoke with Gi-hun a lot yesterday, but that doesn’t mean he sees you as an ally yet. 

Thankfully, Gi-hun doesn’t object. “Of course.” He nods. You feel a slight smile slip onto your face, relieved that you won’t have to look around for a group. With the addition of Player 388, your group now has three members. You only need two more for the game. 

“May I join your group?” You blink to find Player 001 standing in front of you. He was the one staring at you two last night. The man looks between Gi-hun and you. You don’t trust yourself to speak, instead letting Gi-hun and 388 decide. 

“Sure.” Gi-hun agrees. You’re secretly a bit suspicious, but you let it go. 

With the addition of a young girl, your group is complete with five members. Since the game is a six-legged pentathlon, there will be five games interspersed along the track. Your group decides on the following pairings: Player 222 and Ddakji; Gi-Hun and Jegi; 001 and spinning top; 388 and Gonggi; & you and flying stones. 

As you’re watching the first group stumble through the obstacles, you feel a sudden presence behind you. “A miss in Flying Stone will eat up a lot of time,” 001 says. And wow, this guy needs to learn about personal space. You swear his breath is hitting your neck as he hovers over your shoulder. You instinctively flinch and turn around, comprehending his remark.

“Shut up,” you then respond, your nerves high enough without this guy’s comments. “Stop with your mind games. We’re on the same team, in case you didn’t realize.” You snap before you can stop yourself. You immediately turn back around to watch the team playing; and in your eagerness to look away, you miss the slight quirk of the man’s lips. 

The first two groups die. The gunshots still ring in your ears, even after the guards remove their corpses and the game continues. There are growing puddles on the ground, marring the childish appearance of the arena. 

Desperate for a way to distract yourself, you turn to 001 again. “Who are you, anyway?” You soon ask, unable to hide your curiosity. He just blinks at you, that infuriatingly blank expression on his face. He almost seems like an android, with how little emotion he shows. “I didn’t see you here for the first round.” You frown. And sure, the first round had hundreds of people. But you think you’d remember a guy like him. He’s… Well. You hate to admit it, but he’s very conventionally attractive. And his stare is eerie. If you had seen him, you would’ve remembered.

Gi-hun overhears and freezes, looking at you before following your gaze to stare at 001. He seems curious. “And you knew my name, when I never told it to you.” Gi-hun continues. 

Your eyes widen. You’re about to press the guy for more information when the buzzer rings, summoning your group to the starting line. That was suspiciously good timing. But it doesn’t matter—you can worry about 001’s origins later. Right now, you have a game to win. 

Fortunately, your group makes it out alive. The group you share the arena with isn’t so lucky, and the sound of gunshots echoes in your ears long after you head back to the dorms. All of you are dejected as you see how many people died last round. You feel particularly worried for 222, who had revealed herself to be pregnant. Just how in the hell is she getting through this? She must be in immense pain. 

When you’re given your rations for the day, you give her your bread. 001 gives her his milk, and before long, each member of the group has sacrificed something to ensure her wellbeing. You can’t help but feel sickened at the thought of her presence here—she’s so young, and she’s carrying a baby while fighting for her life to survive. You don’t necessarily pity her, since she’s proven she’s very capable and athletic. Still… You resent the circumstances that brought players like her here. 

You think back to the game you just played. Everyone did very well and succeeded on the first try, except for 001—who took several tries to successfully wind and throw the spinning top. It’s ironic, considering he was trying to warn you all earlier and put more pressure on you. All of that talk… just for him to buckle under the pressure. It almost makes you want to laugh. If the rest of you hadn’t done so well, he could’ve gotten you killed. 

A sharp bolt of anger rushes through you. “Don’t think I’ve forgotten our conversation,” you say to the guy, the words slipping from your lips before you can stop them. 001 blinks at you innocently. The gesture just irritates you even more. “Who are you? How much debt do you have? What’s your job?”

“I think you can stop interrogating him,” 388 interjects, clearly sensing the tension settling across the group. You grit your teeth. 

“No; he’s suspicious,” you argue persistently, your spine tingling uneasily as you’re met with 001’s blank stare. “He beat the shit out of those two guys and pretended like it was nothing.” Indeed, when two contestants had been messing with a third guy, 001 had promptly walked up to them and overpowered them with ease. “He knew Gi-hun’s name when he never told him, and he was playing mind games all through the last round.” You finish scrutinizing him. The guy stares right back, seemingly unaffected by your skepticism.

“Hey, enough of that,” 388 remarks placatingly. You bite your tongue and allow him to keep speaking, if only because you’re so frustrated you can hardly think. Your fists are clenched at your sides. 001 is still staring, and he’s likely getting enjoyment from your irritation. “We should be celebrating our victory! And if you’ll excuse me…” He gets to his feet and stares at the group. “I don’t know your names yet. Mine’s Kang Dae-ho. It means ‘big tiger’.”

All of you proceed to introduce yourselves, before it gets to 001. Supposedly, his name is Oh Young-Il. “It’ll be easy to remember, because it corresponds to my number.” He remarks. This guy is only getting more and more suspicious with each thing he says. There’s no way in hell that’s his real name. And he seems to recognize you don’t believe him, because he’s staring at you again. 

The group is a bit more withdrawn today, after the events of the previous game. As your adrenaline dies down, you realize you’re quite tired. The others seem to feel the same; yet the day passes with infinite lethargy. It feels like a whole lifetime until the lights-out announcement. Upon hearing the announcement, Gi-hun guides the group through building a kind of fort and assigning members for guard duty. Supposedly, people can get violent at night—and kill one another just for the promise of more prize money. You’re not exactly surprised by that, so you go along with his orders. Gi-hun offers to take the first shift—leaving the rest of you to sleep peacefully (or, at least, as peacefully as a person can sleep in a place like this).

When you wake for the next shift a few hours later, you find Gi-hun still awake—staring off into the distance with a frown on his face. You sidle up next to him and the two of you sit in silence for a while. It’s not necessarily an uncomfortable silence. The two of you are both deep in thought, as you evidently reflect on the horrors you’ve witnessed. 

“...I don’t trust Young-il.” You admit quietly. There’s a persistent but quiet hum in the air, the only companion to the silence. 

“Why not?” Gi-hun asks. He doesn’t look suspicious, but he doesn’t exactly look believing either. He always believes the best in people, though. And his desire to stop the games has kept him too busy to notice the way 001 is acting. 

“He’s… slippery,” you settle for saying after a few moments. “He messes with people just to see their reactions. Plus, did you see him in the first game? Because I swear I didn’t see him, and then suddenly, when it was time to vote, he just… appeared.” 

“I mean, isn’t that strange?” You continue, unable to stop talking now that you’ve finally spoken your mind. “Especially when his vote was the one that ushered in the second game. It’s just… I don’t know, it’s really fishy.”

Gi-hun hasn’t spoken a word, instead looking ahead in sincere contemplation. “And surely you’ve seen the way he looks at you,” you press on, motivated by Gi-hun’s silence. “Like he wants to pick you apart, break you into pieces, and then put you back together again.”

Gi-hun is quiet for several moments. “I… haven’t noticed that,” he eventually admits, fully turning to look at you. He pauses for a moment, evidently thinking. His eyes are searching your face for something—but it’s a different kind of scrutiny than Young-il’s covert malice. “But I’ve seen him look at you like that.” Gi-hun says quietly. 

Something unpleasant jumps in your chest. “Then we’re both in trouble,” you huff, rubbing a hand over your eyes. 

(And little do you both know, Young-il has been lying awake the entire time, digesting every word of your conversation.)

“You should rest, Gi-hun,” you suggest. “I’ll take over from here.” It takes some argument, but you manage to persuade Gi-hun to sleep. You spend the rest of your guard shift staring ahead and fighting off sleep. Your eyes are dry and you’re beginning to get a headache, but you’re happy to keep watch if it ensures the safety of your group members. 

You must zone out for quite a while, because there’s soon a hand on your shoulder. You flinch and blink dazedly, only to find Young-il staring at you imploringly. “It’s my turn to keep watch. You should rest.” He suggests. His hand hasn’t moved from your shoulder. Gi-hun’s words echo in your ears: I’ve seen him look at you like that. Young-il’s dark eyes are glittering. You’re immediately assaulted with one unshakeable conviction: he wants to rip you apart and eat you alive. 

You’re not sure how long you remain there, pliant under the man’s grasp, before you shake yourself out of it. All you know is the faux concern knitting his brows together, and the lingering hand on your shoulder that only slips away after you’re out of reach.

…You don’t sleep very well. 

The third game, Mingle, is quickly proving to be the worst one so far. It should be simple: the carousel spins, before stopping and announcing a number. Players standing on it must assemble a group of that number and gather in one of the nearby rooms before the time expires. Elementary. 

Except… it’s utter mayhem when the numbers are announced. The lights go out, the countdown is ever present in a loud chirping tone, and it’s loud. 255 people is far too many for the enclosed space you find yourself in. And while your impromptu group develops a hesitant strategy, there’s no telling what number will come next. Hell, at this point, they could announce “1” and eliminate three-quarters of the players. You hope it doesn’t come to that. 

As the rounds continue, you grow more and more restless. There’s a horrible pit in your stomach as you return to the spinning stage each time, stepping over corpses and puddles of blood. You almost feel as if you’re stuck in some strange sort of limbo, cursed to continue this stupid game over and over again. To make matters worse, there are slits in each of the doors that conceal the rooms—giving you a front row seat to the brutality of the guards. 

Finally, after what feels like far too long, you’re at the last round. You swallow hard, fighting off the dizziness and vertigo that the spinning stage is inciting in you. Jun-hee, Dae-ho, Young-il, and Gi-hun have all survived thus far, thankfully. You all had to split up a few times when the numbers were smaller, but you survived nonetheless.  

“What do you think the last number will be?” Gi-hun asks the group. 

You contemplate the question. Before you can respond, Young-il speaks. “Two.” he answers with frightening certainty. You pay him a wary glance, only to find that there is no trace of hesitation in his expression. Everything he does only makes you more unnerved. He must be doing it on purpose, at this point. 

You look at Gi-hun wordlessly. But just as you’re about to ask him to be your partner, the lights are going out and the number is appearing on the screen above. Indeed, as Young-il predicted, the last round requires a pair to enter a room.  

You barely get a moment to think before Young-il latches his hand onto your wrist, yanking you after him and leaving you no choice but to follow. You spare a glance behind you at Gi-hun, relieved to see he’s running to a room with Dae-ho. Your attention is quickly recaptured by the people you’re running near, and you have to push past them to get into the nearest room. With Young-il’s help, you manage to get inside and slam the door behind you. 

You’re about to breathe a sigh of relief when you lock eyes with another guy. It’s a third player, who was inexplicably standing in the room. Everything falls to an eerie silence as you come to terms with the situation. The timer is quickly counting down. He needs to leave for Young-il and you to fit the requirements. If you have too many people, you’ll fail and die. But the clock is already counting down, and the door locked behind you, and there’s just no time, not enough time- 

You feel yourself slide down the wall and onto the ground, shakily covering your head in your hands as if that will do anything to stop the oncoming onslaught of bullets from the guards. You can only hear the sound of your own ragged breathing reverberating through your ears, as you try and fail to keep it together. 

The sound of shuffling breaks you from your thoughts; you look up to find Young-il with his arms wrapped around the guy’s neck as he chokes the life out of him. The guy’s face is turning red from the strength of his grip, as he scrambles to get some air. His eyes meet yours and you just… stare. 

Three… Two… One.

The other player slumps on the ground. 

A few seconds pass. There’s nothing but silence. It seems the guy died just before the countdown ended—bringing the number of players back down to two and ensuring your victory in the game. 

Your eyes are locked on the other player’s corpse. Then, as if against their own volition, your eyes find Young-il’s, and every one of your prior suspicions is confirmed. 

…You’re frozen. 

He gets to his feet, pushing the corpse away as if it’s nothing more than an obstacle. The casual nature of the gesture makes you feel sick. Then Young-il politely offers you a hand, as if you had merely stumbled on the ground. As if he hadn’t just killed someone right in front of you. 

You’re frozen. You think there’s blood spattered across your face from one of the previous rounds. You can’t speak, can hardly breathe.

Unperturbed, Young-il crouches down before you. He takes your forearms and deftly tugs you up to your feet. 

You’re 

still

frozen. 

He’s guiding you out of the room now, his grip on your shoulder tight and loose all at once. The door slides open with a menacing sound. The other players are leaving their rooms. You want to search the crowd, but the contestants’ faces are all blurring together. There’s a helpless sound trapped in your throat. 

“Oh, thank God, you guys-” A familiar voice says. Gi-hun is running towards you. You want to be touched by the sheer relief in his voice, but you’re too busy trying not to pass out, or punch something, or just sob. You wrap your arms around yourself and try not to think about the blood flooding the floor, the ringing in your ears, the maleficence of the man at your side. Gi-hun claps a hand on your shoulder, his expression morphing into a concern you don’t deserve. “What happened?”

You can hardly breathe. Gi-hun’s looking at you expectantly and it takes all your effort not to just break down right there. You look at the ground, see the bloodstains, look back up. The doors on the far side of the space are opening, marking the end of the round. There’s a swarm of teal as players make their way back to the dorms. 

You think you’d stand there forever, if not for Gi-hun’s guidance. He pulls you after him gently. You follow. You feel Young-il’s gaze burning into the back of your head. Your tongue is locked to the roof of your mouth. You think you’re shaking, but it’s hard to think straight over the roaring sound in your ears.

Oh Young-il. 001. 

The inexplicable combat skills. The ease with which he killed the other player. That eerie look on his face, as if he’s viewing the game through the eyes of an observer. The gleam in his eyes as he stares at Gi-hun, you, and tests your resolve. This game, these players… they’re all an experiment to him. And he is the mad scientist engineering the entire thing. 

You’re fucked.  

You don’t remember much of what happens after that. The survivors make their way through the winding pastel corridor once more. You nearly trip on the steps several times, just barely catching yourself each time. Your ears are ringing. Even Jun-hee seems worried for you, and she’s carrying a baby.  

To make things worse, you keep hearing people calling your name. At first, you think you’re just imagining it. But you hear it again and again; and when you turn around, you hear the crazy shaman lady beckoning you closer. She’s slipping through the line and walking towards you now, crooning about fate and destiny and your imminent death. You don’t know what to say, can’t seem to summon that fire that has kept you safe, skeptical, this entire time. Before you can respond, Gi-hun’s leading you away from her with an arm around your shoulders. You can just vaguely hear Young-il speaking with Dae-ho and Jun-hee behind you, likely providing a sugar-coated lie for your state right now. You want to vomit. 

You blink and you’re on one of the bunks. Gi-hun’s saying something, looking at you worriedly, but his voice sounds garbled and warped like he’s underwater. You blink, blink, blink. Your hands are trembling still. You can’t rid yourself of the memory: of that player, in his dying moments, looking to you for help. You could’ve done something, should’ve done something. 

But what could you have done? If you had stopped Young-il, all three of you would’ve died anyway for having an incorrect number of people. Right? Young-il only did what was necessary to ensure your survival. Should you be grateful to him? 

No. You don’t want to feel thankful for a person who snuffed out the life of another before your very eyes. You don’t want to feel any positive emotion in this place. It’s all a lie. Everything is just… a feeble exercise to fight off despair. But it always comes back. Always. 

You hide your head in your knees, trying to gather the shattered pieces of your composure. You want to hate yourself for this—for the way you just shut down—but, at the same time, it only seems rational. Young-il is one of the game masters. You’re not sure just what his role is, but it must be something important—for him to be able to slip into the players’ ranks with ease. And you just saw him kill a contestant before your very eyes. What’s stopping him from doing the same thing to you, or Gi-hun, or Jun-hee, or Dae-ho? He could’ve easily strangled you in that tiny room. What prevented him from doing so? What guided his arm to wrap around the other player’s neck, instead of your own?

Moreover, if Young-il really is a part of executing these games… Who’s to say he doesn’t have advanced knowledge of the rounds to come? That only increases the despair you feel. What’s the point of fighting, if the game is rigged? If Young-il has adjusted the odds to his favor? Your head aches as you attempt to rationalize it all. Nothing about it makes sense.

…But you can’t let 001 win. You can’t let him break your resolve. That’s what Young-il’s here to do: he wants to stop Gi-hun’s insurgence—and, by extension, yours.

You run through your thoughts for a while, attempting to string together the tangled mess of information you’ve learned and witnessed. “Gi-hun.” You eventually say. Your voice is raspy, somehow. You haven’t spoken in a few hours now. Everyone in the group looks over at you. Your voice sounds like a stranger’s. “I need to speak with you. Alone.” You get to your feet and make your way to the ground, before shoving your hands in your pockets as you wait for him. Gi-hun stands up. 

Gi-hun is at your side as you walk, looking at you. “Let’s go to the bathroom.” You suggest as you walk away. He nods at your suggestion and the two of you head into the giant restroom. It’s not the ideal place for a conversation, but here, none of the other players will eavesdrop. There are cameras, but you doubt they have audio. 

You stand in the center of the empty bathroom for a long moment. Gi-hun seems to take the initiative, leading you into one of the stalls. The space seems far too small, with the two of you practically pressed together as you evade the cameras. The edges of your dirtied white shoes nearly touch. 

If Gi-hun is uncomfortable with the proximity, he doesn’t show it. After all, you both have far bigger problems. “What happened?” He asks you carefully. There are muted pink stains on his shirt—blood from the past games. You’re sure your clothing looks much the same. 

“I-” You choke out. This is much harder than you expected. Your sentences are choppy and fragmented as you continue speaking. “You remember our conversation last night?” It almost hurts to speak. 

“Yes.” He confirms, likely recalling your suspicions about Young-il. At this point, you almost wish you were wrong—that 001 was merely another player, just like the rest of you. But you know that contradicts the facts. 

“Young-il’s working for them.” You manage to say. 

Gi-hun is silent as he processes what you’ve just said. 

“He killed a man in front of me,” you say, your voice shaking. “When we were in the- the room. There were three of us. And I thought I was going to die-” You’re fighting for air again, your words interrupted with involuntary shudders. 

You look down at your feet to hide the tears you’re fighting off. But Gi-hun only leans forward and pulls you into an embrace. You can’t help but clutch at him like a lifeline. 

“He put the guy in a chokehold and killed him.” You manage to say, once you’ve calmed down a little.  “Gi-hun, the look on his face-” You choke off, shaking your head. His hold on you just tightens, as if reassuring you of his presence. You feel so weak for allowing yourself this moment, so vulnerable and desperate as you fall apart in the arms of the man who has lost so much more than you can possibly fathom. 

“Any attempt we make at stopping the games, he’ll be there listening.” You state, trying to take a breath and gather your thoughts once more. You could easily spend the rest of the night falling apart, but you know it won’t get you anywhere.  

Gi-hun swallows, bringing a hand across his chin as he evidently attempts to puzzle out what your next move should be. “That’s a problem.” He eventually says. You nod. 

“I think Young-il joined to mess with you.” You confess. “And if that’s the case, he must be more than a mere guard. The guards don’t have that kind of power. He’d have to be pretty high up in the hierarchy.”

“No wonder you were despondent earlier.” Gi-hun sighs. He laughs, a gesture completely devoid of any positive emotion. He rubs a hand over his face. “I had a plan—take the guards’ guns from them, get to the control room and demand answers.”

You just shake your head. You both know an exercise like that would be futile, and result in countless unintentional casualties. 

“It’s probably him.” Gi-hun continues. “He’s been right in front of us the whole time.” Us. Not me, but us. You feel momentarily touched by the remark, before you see the distressed look on his face. You can’t imagine what Gi-hun’s thinking right now, as he attempts to find a way to end this game system. System, because these games are far more than isolated events. A group—hell, an organization—with this kind of resources wouldn’t just give up after one game. It’s a constant cycle of despair and greed. 

Is there even a way to break the cycle? Gi-hun is only a single player. Dismantling an entire system—and, moreover, the predatory tactics it uses to ensnare people—is an impossible task. And you both know it. These games rely on the corruption in the outside world… and that can’t be wished away by an uprising here. People will always be greedy. People will always fight for their lives. And people will always resent being controlled. You shake your head. 

There’s a harsh banging on the door of the restroom; the two of you flinch, hearing a guard summoning you back to the dorms. You exchange worried looks before complying with his orders, stepping out of the bathroom and heading back to the group. 

“What took you guys so long?” Another player asks when you get back. He’s been sitting on the outskirts of your impromptu group since you got back from the game. “Don’t tell me you hooked up in there; that’s where we all go to piss.”

You stare at him in disbelief. Gi-hun must be wearing a similar expression, because he’s also silent. 

“What?” He asks, looking to the others for support. “Come on, it’s not that crazy of an assumption to make.”

Jun-hee looks like she’s fighting off the urge to smile in amusement; Dae-ho is laughing; and Young-il is silent as always. You could convince yourself there’s an extra tension to the set of his shoulders, but you won’t. 

Dae-ho continues attempting to keep the group’s morale up, but you can’t seem to move past your conversation with Gi-hun—and neither can he. When the countdown to lights out begins, the two of you are volunteering for guard duty. 

You want nothing more than to go to sleep, but your mind won’t let you. You’re stuck sitting in silence, fighting off stinging eyelids and persistent fatigue. 

Eventually, you lose the battle to exhaustion; and you wake some time later to feel a slightly stiff neck and hear an amused exhale of breath. Your awareness comes back slowly, as you exit your dreams and return to the nightmare of your waking life. The dorms slowly sharpen before your eyes and you blink blearily, wondering why your side feels so warm. It doesn’t take you long to connect the dots on that particular puzzle—as you look over to find yourself nearly nestled into Gi-hun’s side, your head resting on his shoulder. 

“Sorry,” you say quickly, straightening up and sliding away a little. It takes a concerted effort to ignore the heat racing across your skin. 

Gi-hun doesn’t look particularly bothered, instead blinking. “You needed the rest.” He says, considerate as always.

“And you didn’t?” You ask with a raised brow. 

Gi-hun’s about to respond when you both hear rustling. Dae-ho’s sudden presence behind you makes your heart jump. 

“You should rest.” Dae-ho suggests, crouching behind you both. “Both of you. It’s my turn anyways.”

Neither of you can come up with a good argument, so you go back to your respective beds and fall asleep. 

The next night isn’t a very restful night either. The fourth game takes the lives of far too many players. Dae-ho, Jun-hee, and countless other contestants died. The majority of the beds in the dorms are empty now. Many players appear dejected and overwhelmed with the situation. Yet, the majority still consistently votes to continue the game. You are well and truly trapped here.

You reconvene with Gi-hun after the game and quickly decide that you should attempt getting some more information from Young-il. Gi-hun is quick to volunteer you for the task, citing his somewhat mediocre lying abilities. This is how you find yourself seated next to Young-il in the near darkness that night, fighting off your nerves as you try to convince yourself to speak. 

“What do you want?” You ask when you can finally suppress your nerves. Your fingers twitch and you clasp them in your lap. Young-il is silent for a moment, before raising a brow. Maybe he didn’t hear you. “What do you want? What are you doing this for?”

He’s still quiet. You choke on a sharp, broken laugh. Even direct confrontation isn’t enough to get him to admit his role in the games. 

“How did you fall into debt?” Young-il asks you instead.

You decide to humor the question, if only so that he’ll be more talkative later on. Maybe he’ll be more motivated to tell the truth if you’re self-disclosing too. “I studied in America,” you reply. “Took a lot of loans, but it wasn’t enough. Obviously.” You huff, looking around. To think you spent all that money to get a degree… only to end up here.  

“Hm.” He doesn’t seem to have much to say regarding that. Young-il doesn’t look particularly surprised at your response either. 

“How did you actually get here?” You ask after a few seconds. “Are you even in debt?” Young-il does give off a bit of a businessman vibe—someone who’s more responsible with his money. It’s a bit hard to imagine him being in the same kind of crippling debt that keeps many of the players participating in the game. 

“I was.” He answers eventually, his arms resting on his knees. 

“You were.” You repeat, a bit surprised that he entertained the question. You recall what he told the group regarding his wife and her liver cancer, back when you first met. “Because of your wife’s treatment, I assume. Did she…?” You trail off quietly.

“Dead.” He answers, before you can stammer and stumble through an appropriate way to ask. 

“I see.” You remark. “But you’re still here. You won a game in the past, and then joined the game masters?” No response. You continue anyways. “Why? Did you have nothing else left?” You’re sure he can feel you staring at him expectantly, but he doesn’t crack under the pressure. 

“You’re persistent.” He notes after several moments. 

“And you’re very tight-lipped.” You respond immediately. Your heart is racing in your chest. This is a bit dangerous. There’s no telling what could make Young-il snap and grow angry. But, you suppose, anger would at least be a reaction. For the entirety of the games so far, he’s been infuriatingly emotionless. “That’s surprising, that you were a participant in the games once. Going through that is enough for anyone to leave and never return.”

“But you returned,” you speculate. “And to the wrong side, no less.” You’re just saying anything at this point—attempting to provoke some sort of reaction, regardless of what it is. So far, nothing really seems to be working. Maybe you need to go a bit below the belt. “I can’t imagine your wife thinks highly of you. Watching from whatever afterlife she’s in.” And that’s easily the rudest thing you’ve ever said to him, but, oh well. You could die tomorrow in the games, or here at his hand. Does it really make a difference? 

Young-il’s eyes immediately flash and you know you’ve trapped him. “Are you attempting to make me feel guilty?” Young-il asks, his voice devoid of emotion. But you know the brief flicker of anger in his eyes wasn’t a trick of the light. And while his anger is likely volatile, at least you're getting something. He’ll be more likely to talk if he’s feeling emotional. 

“Is it working?” You blink, still looking at him. He’s silent. “...Guess not.” You mutter resignedly. You swear you hear an amused exhale of breath from him, as if he’s holding back a laugh.  

“How do you get all this money, then?” You ask, genuinely curious. “This kind of operation can’t be easy to maintain.” After all, there are more than just the players that they have to worry about: there are the guards, the game masters, and whoever is watching these games. Because you know someone is watching. You can’t quite prove it, but you know regardless. 

“You are very perceptive.” Young-il says in lieu of an answer, a note of something complex in his voice. 

“Don’t patronize me.” You scoff, annoyed by the empty flattery. 

“I’m not patronizing you.” He continues, turning to look at you for one of the first times since you started speaking. “You have been a thorn in my side this entire time.”

“Oh,” you remark, surprised. You certainly weren’t expecting him to admit that you’ve been annoying him. “Thanks, I guess.”

“You really are quite strange,” he huffs.  

“And you aren’t?” You ask, taking the bait he’s dangling in front of you. “You could’ve been safe up there, or wherever the control room is. But instead you’ve joined the players once more. For… no reason. Or for entertainment, I suspect.”

Silence. 

“Do you know what games are next, then?” There’s no answer from him. You’re getting more irritated. “You realize I’m not going to stop asking questions.” You pester, if only to get him to say something. 

“That does seem to be part of your charm.” He says. It’s weirdly difficult for you to tell if his tone is sincere or sardonic. Perhaps a bit of both? No, surely not. He must be joking.  

You blink. “Okay… has there ever been more than one winner of the game?” You ask. You’re not sure why that question comes to mind. And you think you already know the answer. 

“No.” Young-il replies, confirming your suspicions. 

“How are you going to survive then?” You question, looking at him curiously. “Gi-hun’s going to win.” Will he sneak away before the last game? Or perhaps he’ll be given an advantage for it? 

“How are you going to survive?” He reasons, breaking you out of your thoughts.  

You shrug. “Not sure I will.” You admit. You’re not necessarily okay with that, but you pretend that you are. “But surely you can just sneak off or something. Fake your death in a game and disappear.” You raise a brow at him. 

“You have accepted your fate already.” He analyzes, ignoring your attempts at getting more information. He’s good. 

“The odds are against me,” you confess. “And I’d rather Gi-hun win.” Gi-hun has a lot more to live for. He would be the optimal person to carry out the end of the games, not you. 

“Why?” There’s genuine emotion on Young-il’s face, for what must be the first time. But it’s not surprise or suspicion—it’s confusion. Pure, complete confusion. He doesn’t understand what you just said or why you said it. 

“Because I care about him?” You respond, the statement coming out as a question despite it being the truth. Something passes over Young-il’s face, but it’s so quick you can’t even begin to decipher what emotion it is. “He’s the only good person in this place.” You say, your gaze wandering over the beds across the room. The remaining players are mostly asleep, awaiting the fifth game tomorrow. 

“Rest.” Young-il says, effectively terminating your conversation. “It’s my turn to keep watch.”

You don’t want to go to sleep. But Gi-hun and you agreed that you both need rest if you want to perform well in the games. And Young-il has had many opportunities to kill you already. He hasn’t done it yet. For some reason, you think he wants you both alive. And that is truly a frightening thought.  

As you head to your bed, you lock eyes with Gi-hun. The two of you have a lot to talk about, it seems. 

“Well, I tried my best.” You sigh, looking over at Gi-hun in the dim lighting of the restroom that morning. The two of you had decided to try to get more information out of Young-il—hence, your conversation with him the other night. You’re not sure if it was very helpful, but at least you can say you tried. 

“You did very well,” Gi-hun reassures you easily. “Thank you.”

“Of course.” You respond easily. The two of you are standing close together in the same stall, just like last time. “I want to end the games too… Did you get any ideas from that conversation?” 

“A few,” Gi-hun says with a frown. He seems distracted now, and almost apprehensive. You squint at him. “Is it true?” 

“Is what true?” You ask, a bit confused. 

“You said you care about me,” he recalls. 

Oh. Shit. You had forgotten he was listening to the conversation, at that point. “Of course I do,” you respond after a few seconds, recognizing Gi-hun isn’t the type of person to throw your feelings back in your face. You do care about him, yes. “You didn’t know?” You ask.

Gi-hun stares at you for a long, long moment. He’s scrutinizing you, searching your face for something. Whatever it is, he must find it, because he eventually settles. Then he’s continuing on as if he hadn’t said anything in the first place. “There’s nothing we can do about the game tomorrow… But I’m thinking the final game will be our chance.” 

“Okay.” You say after a moment, filing that previous reaction to the back of your mind. “What was the final game, when you played?” 

“Squid Game.” He responds. The expression on Gi-hun’s face is a heartbreaking mix of resignation, grief, and frustration. His fists clench at his sides as he recounts the rules. By the end, he’s practically shaking—and you realize he’s digging his nails into the palms of his hands. Concerned, you reach out and pry his fists apart, before slipping your fingers through his and clasping his hand. He looks surprised by the gesture, before he settles and nods. 

The two of you try to sleep that night as best as you can, given the circumstances. You’re worried about the final game—and the way Gi-hun ended your conversation, as if there was something he wasn’t telling you. You know he’d never hide something from you that you needed to know. You’re just… worried. Worried he’ll do something stupidly noble or self-sacrificing when it gets down to it. Of course, there’s no point in agonizing over the final game just yet. You have to make it through the fifth game, after all. 

You’re awoken along with the 30 remaining players early the next morning to begin the next game. And it is a brutal one. It is nothing like the challenge Gi-hun recalled from his own experience, where contestants jumped on glass panels, at a height that promised death for anyone who fell. It appears to involve a lot more dexterity than the last few. And, even more troubling, players have the opportunity to impede each other’s progress. 

Players are placed into groups of three and given a few minutes to complete their tasks. Gi-hun is in the first group, by some stroke of bad luck. Thankfully, he survives—but the same can’t be said for his other two group members, who are quickly shot in the head and dragged off into the darkness. You’ve been selected for the final group, which means you’re forced to watch as group after group dies in their failure to complete the challenge. This game seems designed to only let a few people survive. 

By the time it’s your turn, Gi-hun and Young-il are the only two players who managed to finish the game successfully. That’s not exactly a good omen for your survival, but you made sure to watch each player’s attempt and learn from their mistakes. You think you have a good idea of how to accomplish this task. You can only hope the pressure doesn’t get to you. 

The countdown begins and you get to work. Your hands are shaking as you scramble to finish what feels like a far too complex task for the few minutes you’re given. It’s down to the wire as your shaking hands rearrange pieces and build upon them, to the point where the timer is at ten seconds. 

Against all odds, you complete the game. The two players at your side are pleading and begging the guards to show mercy, but they are swiftly eliminated—all while you’re standing near them, close enough to hear the gunshots ring in your ears painfully. 

You can just barely recognize the guard’s arms rising to make a circle over their head, indicating that you passed the game. Sweat is beading down your neck; your hands are shaking so badly that you look as if you have extra fingers; and your chest almost hurts, as if your ribs are attempting to squeeze your internal organs and crush them. There are colors passing before your eyes at lightning speed. Shadows morph and blur at the edges of your vision. You feel unsteady on your feet. The guard standing in front of you is ordering you to exit the arena. You take a slow breath. It’s okay. You’re okay. You’ll be fine. 

You take a step. It’s more of a laborious effort than it should be. Why does it feel like you’re trapped in quicksand? Another step. You lurch forwards, catching yourself and straightening up.  The exit looks so far away. You’ve been walking for minutes now, but you haven’t even made it halfway across the arena. 

There are puddles of blood everywhere. The white sneakers they gave you are practically pink now. Your skin feels like it’s on fire, but your teeth are chattering as if you’re freezing. Everything seems to catch up to you. Days of improper nutrition and lackluster sleep; of constant vigilance and ceaseless stress; of grief and regret; of physical strain and exertion. 

It’s strange. One moment, you’re walking along just fine (albeit a bit slowly); the next, your entire world is tilting as you crumple and fall to the ground like a broken marionette. There’s a pink blur of a guard before you, and you can only hope they’ll give you a swift end to this endless series of games.

You wake up to a stiffness in your joints and a dryness in your eyes. You blink several times, your vision slowly sharpening to reveal the dorms. You’re situated on your bed, and if not for the memory of the last game, you’d think you were just waking up from a nap. You bring a hand to your temple and groan, slowly pushing yourself up. 

Then you notice a presence at your side. Gi-hun sits on the bed across from you, looking at you worriedly. “Gi-hun?” You ask, blinking past dry eyes.

Gi-hun settles, redirecting his attention and seemingly realizing you’re awake. He immediately lingers at your bedside, staring down at you with a torn expression. “I thought you were dead.” He says immediately, so quietly that you nearly hear the remark. 

“Young-il and I were waiting for you.” Gi-hun continues, his gaze exploring your face as if drinking in the sight. “But you didn’t appear… until the guards came back. And one of them was holding you in their arms.”

“I thought-” Gi-hun chokes off. “They wouldn’t tell me anything-” He says, clearly frustrated by the lack of information. He shakes his head. You reach out to grasp his hand, only to realize he’s already holding yours. His grip is delicate, as if afraid he’ll hurt you. You squeeze his hand lightly, hoping the gesture is reassuring. “And there was so much blood.” His voice cracks.

You look down to find your clothes absolutely splattered in blood (hell, nearly drenched). “It’s not mine,” you say aloud, thinking back to the game. Your opponents had gotten eliminated, and the two of you were standing quite close at the end. The guard hadn’t even waited for you to get out of the way before blowing their brains out. Their blood went all over you. “I passed out. I think- Everything must’ve caught up to me.” You press a hand to your temple and wince at the headache you find. 

“I’m glad you’re okay.” Gi-hun admits. He strengthens his grip on your hand and his other hand falls to your bended knee. 

“I’m glad you are too.” You return the sentiment. Gi-hun stares for a long moment, before shaking his head and pulling you into a hug. He grasps you tightly. 

“And Young-il?” You ask later, some time after the two of you have broken apart. You’re not necessarily worried for him—more worried about him. There’s no telling what he has planned. 

(Recognizing your exhausted state, Gi-hun decides not to tell you about Young-il. He doesn’t tell you about the look on the man’s face, nor about the mechanical way with which the man entered the empty arena moments later. He doesn’t detail the ringing gunshots that echoed throughout the nearby space, or the brief glimpse he caught of Young-il as he walked away… There was blood splattered across the man’s face and a vindictive gleam in his eyes. Meanwhile, Gi-hun returned to the dorms with the rest of the guards, nearly begging them to tell him something, anything-)

“He left, I imagine.” Gi-hun says instead. It almost seems as if he wants to say more, but he’s holding himself back.  

“It’s just us?” You ask, grasping his hand tightly. You need some sort of anchor to reality. You feel as if you’re starting to slip.  

As if sensing your distress, Gi-hun moves to sit next to you on the bed—all without letting go of your hand. “It’s just us.” He confirms. 

There is so much you wish you could say. But in your exhaustion, only one thing comes to mind. “Can finally get a good night’s sleep,” you say tiredly. You have no intention to hurt Gi-hun; and you doubt he will harm you. You won’t have to stay up all night guarding the group. (Because the group is gone. Because Jun-hee and Dae-ho are dead. Because Young-il left.) 

Gi-hun stares in disbelief, before laughing. The sound breaks you out of your spiraling thoughts. You don’t think you’ve ever heard him laugh before. “I guess so.” He relents. 

The two of you sit there for a while, before the lights-out announcement breaks through the uneasy silence in the dorms. It’s far too quiet—you’re used to hearing pieces of conversations, shuffling as people move about the room. You feel sick to your stomach. And so, so horribly alone. 

You decide to abandon your dignity and ask Gi-hun if you can sleep next to him. Fortunately, before you can overthink the question, Gi-hun is nodding with relief. The two of you then push your mattresses together on the floor and get settled in.

Before long, you’re staring up at the ceiling. Gi-hun’s hand finds yours. You twist to your side and look at him. He looks at you. The distance between you almost seems to shrink, as the two of you gravitate towards one another. There is so much you wish you could say. Dread, guilt, grief, frustration, and exhaustion all battle for prominence in your chest. You lean into him; he leans into you. It feels far too natural. 

This moment is a brief reprieve from the reality of the situation, and the fate that awaits you tomorrow. This glimpse at quiet domesticity is the most you will ever get. 

All things considered, it’s… nice.

The final game is Squid Game, just as Gi-hun predicted. The two of you walk to the arena together, entirely silent. You feel nauseous. You don’t want to die. But you definitely don’t want Gi-hun to die. He must be thinking along the same lines, as his lips are drawn in a tight frown. You trudge up the pastel steps a bit more slowly than usual, as if that will somehow delay your death. (It won’t.)

There’s a knife on the floor in the middle of the squid drawn in the sand. You almost want to laugh. If they think you’ll kill Gi-hun, they’re sorely mistaken. The two of you have chosen to wait until arriving at the final game to announce your decision to end. This way, you may have a chance at meeting the game masters.  

The walls around you are painted a cheerful blue. It couldn’t look more unsettling. You take a slow breath, steeling your nerves as you fight to speak. There’s an eerie silence in the air. “We choose to end the game.” You announce, slowly turning around at the cameras that must be scattered around the area. 

“We’re in agreement.” Gi-hun maintains, his eyes flitting about warily. “Clause 3 allows the majority to end the game.”

Your heart is roaring in your ears as you are met with nothing but silence. Will they really permit you to do this? Are you really allowed this ending? You’re breathing hard, despite the fact that you’re locked in place. 

“Congratulations, Player 228 and Player 456. You have won the 36th Squid Game.”

“What?” You choke. 

“What?” Gi-hun echoes. The two of you exchange bewildered looks. You chose to end the game, so why are you being granted victory? 

You hear sardonic slow applause coming from the other side of the space and you whip around, only to find a man in a geometric black mask. “Well done,” he says, his voice distorted. 

Dread prickles along your skin. Even with the mask and voice distortion, you know who is standing before you both. “Young-il,” you say guardedly. “If that’s even your name.” You add on. You strongly suspect it isn’t. 

The man removes his mask, revealing himself to be 001: Oh Young-il. Your suspicions are confirmed. You don’t quite react, save for subconsciously clenching your jaw. 

“You don’t seem surprised,” Young-il remarks, looking between the both of you. “I suppose that is to be expected. You were quick to catch on.” He says, staring at you intently. You feel restless and fidgety under the weight of his gaze. 

Gi-hun looks… furious, betrayed, and resigned all at once. It’s clear that, despite the fact that he believed you, he still gave Young-il the benefit of the doubt. He is too good for this place, you are reminded once more. 

“Hwang In-ho.” 001 says, apropos of nothing. 

“What?” You hear yourself say.

“My name.” He explains. “You will need to know it, as we are working together from this point forward.”

“What?” You repeat, horror crawling up your throat. Working together? “No, we’re supposed to leave-” You look at Gi-hun helplessly. He looks just as nauseated and disturbed as you are, which is a small ressurance. The winners of the Squid Game are allowed to return home. Right?

“You will receive the prize money, split amongst you both,” Young-il—no, In-ho—continues. As if either of you care about that at the moment. The prize money is the least of your concerns. “However, your continued survival comes with a condition: you must work alongside me to oversee the games.”

Gi-hun and you are both quiet for a long time. “Why?” Gi-hun finally asks, the first to regain his composure after that remark. He shoots you a helpless look, before staring back at In-ho firmly. “Because we’re both alive?” 

“Precisely.” He agrees. In-ho cuts an imposing figure in his all-black clothing and you’re once again reminded of the feeling you got when he first arrived—the sense that he didn’t belong. “You said it yourself a few days ago: there has only ever been one winner. I have negotiated for your (continued survival), on the promise that you will remain here.”

“For how long?” You ask. You don’t particularly care to hide your fear and dread. 

“As long as you have.” He responds easily, clasping his hands behind his back. As long as you have—so, for the rest of your life. 

You pay another glance at Gi-hun, knowing there’s no way he’ll accept this. Sure enough, he looks troubled… then contemplative. You’re hit with an instant feeling of foreboding. Gi-hun seems to be planning something. “If one of us dies,” he says, his voice hollow. “Will the other one be free to go?”

“...I suppose.” In-ho says, his brows furrowing minutely. He doesn’t seem to understand the point of the question.  

“Gi-hun,” you say, suddenly sensing what he’s about to do. The knife is still in the middle of the arena, untouched and neglected. But not for long, you suspect. “Don’t.” You plead. 

Gi-hun is already lunging for the knife. “No-!” You scream, immediately trying to grab the weapon. Gi-hun’s faster—wielding it and attempting to stab himself. You just barely grab his arm in time, the change in momentum sending you both sprawling to the ground. You try to wrestle the knife out of his hands, but it’s an increasingly difficult effort. Your hands are shaking, your arms burning as you use every muscle in your body to keep him from sacrificing himself. 

“Go,” he says, tugging the knife towards him again. You’re pulled along with it, straining to fight his strength. “Live a happy life, away from here.” A happy life. You both know that’s not possible. 

“Not without you,” you choke, your hands trembling on Gi-hun’s. Gi-hun is determined, but you have a height advantage as you lean over him—and you use it to pry the knife from his grip. You don’t hesitate to bring the blade to your own throat. 

“No, no, no-!” Gi-hun immediately grabs at your forearm, attempting to pull the blade away from your neck. There are tears streaming down his face, and your own vision is blurred. Your grip is growing sweaty as your adrenaline keeps you fighting to bring the blade back, if only to spare Gi-hun. The blade is getting closer and closer, already kissing your skin and drawing blood- 

“Enough!” 

In-ho's voice cuts through the air. And you suddenly feel an intense pain in your ear. The knife in your hand clatters to the ground, but you barely notice as your knees crumple under you. You’re practically writhing on the ground, your every nerve thrumming and buzzing. Your vision is pulsing around you; you slam your hands over your ears and whimper. You’ve never felt such intense, relentless pain before. Blood drips down the skin of your palms—your ears are bleeding. Tears run down your cheeks as you try and fail to recognize anything but the blinding pain. 

Finally, it stops. You choke on a breath and hear Gi-hun gasp, evidently reeling just as you are. The sand beneath you almost seems to dig into your palms. There’s a liquid feeling itching at your ears and you wonder just how much blood is trickling down your jaw and neck.

“Enough.” In-ho repeats. You’ve never seen so much emotion on his face: he is furious. He takes the knife from the ground and wields it in a tight grip. “You both will live to oversee the games,” he orders. In-ho’s eyes are still flitting between the both of you warily, as if making sure you won’t try anything again. “That decision is final.” 

With that parting remark, In-ho leaves Gi-hun and you to fall apart in the arena.

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[regalastor]

Amor in ea Purissima Est

Lucius Verus Aurelius x fem!OC

summary: Lucius makes a new friend who causes him to reflect on his own loneliness.

author's notes: This is my first time posting my writing in years, so I would love any and all feedback! I would love to continue this story if people are interested. Lots of canon divergence is present in this fic!

warnings: discussions that hint at violence, abuse, and loss of a spouse. rating: 18+ (eventually).

It was only just over six months since Lucius’ ascension to the throne before women were being thrown at him by his mother. They had spoken at length about the loss of his wife, and his old life, but as time went on, she became more insistent that he not only needed an heir, but also he needed a companion. He knew she did not only mean the physicality of a relationship, but the trust and comfort provided by a partner. He had met with the women she’d asked him to, and sat at tables with noble families, but he had been painfully uninterested. His mother had accused him of being difficult only for the sake of disagreeing with her, and part of him wondered if that was true, but either way, he remained uninterested in his options. 

“What did you not like about her?” His mother asked one day after yet another social gathering had ended. Lucius knew she was referring to his newly appointed general’s daughter; with whom he had spoken to at great length. 

“It was not that I did not like her,” He thought about his words for a moment. “I have been in love, I know what it is supposed to feel like, and I will not settle for less.” Lucilla demonstrated her agreement by placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. 

><><

Lucius grabbed the arm of the young boy and yanked him backwards, nearly knocking him off of his feet, just in time for the child to evade being run over by a carriage. The streets near the Senate building were always bustling and he could often make it through without many people noticing him at all, but it was rare to see a child wandering around this part of the city alone.  

“Eyes forward around here,” Lucius said, helping the child to stand up straight. The boy blinked up at him a few times, and Lucius could tell his eyes were beginning to water. He couldn't have been older than six years old, and his chest ached a little, he hadn’t intended to scare the boy. “What are you doing here alone?” Lucius asked, looking around for any sign of parents. 

“I am not alone,” The boy huffed slightly, making Lucius’ lips turn upward a little at his attitude—the boy clearly had no idea who he was, but that did not bother him in the slightest. “My mother was with me, and she told me to stay close, but then I saw-” The child’s eyes drifted towards the Praetorian Guard that was stationed outside the senate. 

“The Praetorian?” Lucius asked, and the little boy nodded, his ears turning red as if he were being scolded for his disobedience. “What is your name?” 

“Cato.”

“I am Lucius,” Lucius offered the child his hand; the boy shook his hand strongly, making Lucius smile slightly once again. “Come,” He gestured towards the guards, making Cato’s eyes widen. As Lucius approached the guards, Cato still a step behind him, he shook his head slightly, hoping they would get the hint not to bow, or frighten the boy. Cato looked at the tall soldiers, who were still standing at attention, with adoration in his eyes as he examined their swords and armor. “Have you ever held a sword?” Lucius asked the boy, and he shook his head. 

“My father died when I was too little,” He shrugged, looking up at Lucius for a moment. The emperor reached out his hand and was quickly handed his own sword; he knelt down and held it in front of the boy, carefully keeping his hand away from the blade. While Lucius had never had kids himself, he was a part of a community for most of his life and therefore surrounded by children. 

“This sword was my grandfather’s and then my father’s and now it is mine,” Lucius explained, watching as the little boy took in every detail of the golden hilt. 

“Are you a gladiator?” Cato asked after a moment, and Lucius sucked in a breath at the memories.

“Once, yes, but now my purpose has changed,” He said gently. Cato’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“What could be more important?” 

“You, your family, your friends, the people of Rome. I have sworn to protect them and to help them all with all of my strength and power, and I intend to do so,” Lucius said, he realized he was talking too broadly and in too grand of a manner for the boy to understand, but Cato nodded along nonetheless, acting as if he was fully in on the meaning of the conversation. 

“I want to be a warrior,” Cato said after a moment. “I want to protect my mother,” He said resolutely. Lucius smiled at him. 

“I want to protect my mother as well,” He agreed. “We should find your mother before she worries too much about your safety,” Lucius took the sheath from the guard and wrapped it around his waist before sliding his sword into its proper place. Lucius sent the Praetorian a nod in a silent instruction to stay put. “Do you know where she may be?” Lucius asked Cato; the boy thought for a moment before nodding. He reached out and pulled on Lucius’ hand, a gesture that made the emperor’s jaw drop slightly, but one he accepted nonetheless. 

“She makes medicine and stuff, and then we bring it here to sell it,” Cato explained, weaving through the crowd. Some people turned to look at Lucius, but in the clothes of a warrior, and with his hand in this little boy’s, it was very unlikely that anyone would recognize him. Lucius just followed and kept an eye on the little boy as he searched the crowds for his mother, after a while of his pulling on women’s skirts and then being disappointed by the face that looked down at him, Lucius decided to pick him up, in hopes of helping his see amongst the crowd. So, they continued wandering around the market, with Cato on Lucius’ hip as he looked around wildly for his mother. 

“Mama!” Cato yelped and quickly attempted to squirm out of Lucius’ grip, causing the emperor to quickly put the boy on his feet. Cato gripped Lucius’ hand again and pulled him through the crowd. Soon, Cato was throwing himself at the legs of a woman, she all but fell down as she held him against her. She pressed her cheek to his head, and it was obvious she was crying. She must have been so scared, all the while her son was playing with swords and making new friends. Lucius shifted on his feet; he knew he should leave them, but he also felt uncomfortable leaving the child alone without explaining himself, or at least greeting the woman. 

“Never, ever, do that again! How dare you run off like that?” The woman cupped Cato’s face in her hands and she ran her thumbs over his cheeks and flattened his hair like she was assuring herself that he was really in front of her and alright. Lucius could fully see her face now. She was younger than he had expected, with lightly tanned skin, light blonde hair, and bright blue eyes. Her lips were plump and her face was defined, yet soft at the same time. She was stunning, and something about her made his heart beat faster.

“I’m sorry, mama, I didn’t mean to,” Cato said earnestly, and the woman sucked in a deep breath like she was trying to remain calm and not lose her patience with him. “I saw the soldiers,” The boy turned slightly and pointed at Lucius. “And got distracted,” The woman looked at him for a second before her eyes widened and she stood up quickly. She spun Cato around and pulled his back into her front, her arm wrapping around his chest protectively. 

“I am so sorry, sir, if he disturbed the peace. I can promise you he is not a defiant boy, he just-” Lucius realized she thought he was Praetorian—-someone who could act violently with no justification. She was scared her son was in trouble.

“Please,” Lucius interrupted her, and he held out a hand in front of him, in what he hoped was a gesture of peace. “He has done no harm, nor is he in any trouble,” He assured the women. Her grip on Cato loosened a little. “He nearly wandered into the road, and then I helped him find you.” The woman swallowed once, still clearly assessing him. She seemed so frightened, so tense, and Lucius wondered what Cato was so adamant about protecting his mother from. 

“Thank you for your help, truly,” She spoke softly. Lucius inclined his head in her direction. 

“Lucius is my friend,” Cato said looking up at his mother. The woman smiled a little at that, but her eyes still seemed panicked. 

“I see,” She slowly released her grip on her son fully, allowing him to stand in between the two adults. She stared at Lucius for a moment, and her heart began to beat faster as their blue eyes met. Something about him felt familiar, but that feeling of recognition was overtaken by her attraction to him. He was tan, tall, and muscular, with short, chocolate-colored, wavy brown hair and deep blue eyes. His nose was perfectly Roman, his beard was short and well-kept, and his lips were full and pink. “Well, we should be going,” She said after a moment, realizing she had most certainly been staring at him for too long. She didn’t seem to notice that he was staring back at her in order to admire her beauty as well. 

“Can Lucius come to dinner?” Cato asked and the woman’s cheeks flushed. 

“No, Cato, he-” The woman looked to Lucius for help. 

“You are very kind to invite me,” Lucius assured. “But, I think your mother needs your help, and I have to go back to work,” He squatted down so that he was closer to eye-level with the child. He placed a hand on his little shoulder. “Protect your mother, and be strong, and you will be a warrior,” He said to the boy and Cato nodded resolutely. 

“Thank you, again,” The woman said once he stood back up to his full height. 

“May I ask your name?” Lucius asked just as she took Cato’s hand to guide him away. 

“Anna Evander,” She smiled softly. The family name sounded vaguely familiar, but he did not recognize her. 

“I am at your service, domina,” He smiled gently at her. She smiled back once more before guiding her son away. 

That night, as Lucius sat on one of the many balconies in the palace, alone, all he could think about was Anna, and that maybe, he did not have to be sitting alone.

[venusbyline]

Jacaerys Velaryon — Nine Moons.

chapter three (previous chapter)

— summary: After Lucerys' death and the arrival of the dragonseeds, Jacaerys no longer wants to be betrothed with Baela. He wants to marry his twin sister, even if it means going against Rhaenyra's decisions and sealing suffering in your life and his.

— pairing: Jacaerys Velaryon x twin sister!reader

— type: dark, smut, sequel to Sleep (but can also be read as a standalone series)

— chapter's warnings: female!reader, dark!Jacaerys, DEAD DOVE: DO NOT EAT, Targcest (twin brother/twin sister), forced pregnancy, dubcon, pregnancy sex, underage sex, breastfeeding kink, lactation kink, breast worship, nipple licking, nipple play, vaginal fingering, fingerfucking, pregnancy kink, dry humping, hair-pulling, abusive and toxic relationship, manipulation, possessive behaviour, obsessive behaviour, gaslighting, past rape/non-con, dubcon somnophilia mentioned, drugged sex mentioned, non-consensual drug use (herbal tea) mentioned, sexism, childbirth mentioned, argument, verbal abuse, curse words, Lucerys Velaryon mentioned, implied Jacaerys Velaryon/Baela Targaryen, forced marriage mentioned, implied toxic!Rhaenyra Targaryen, dark content, sub!reader, dom!Jacaerys, soft!Jacaerys BUT NOT REALLY, Pre-Battle of the Gullet, canon divergence, porn with plot. no use of y/n. english is not my first language.

— author's notes¹: Nine Moons is a shortfic, sequel to the one shot Sleep, written for Kinktober. Both Nine Moons and Sleep can be read as standalone.

— author's notes²: Each chapter will have its own trigger warnings.

— author's notes³: Guys I'm SO EXCITED to write the next chapters and this specific part of the divergence canon <3 <3 Please tell me your opinions and theories. Comments, likes and reblogs are always appreciated.

— high valyrian words used: Rytsas (good morning), Hāedar (younger sister), Ñuha jorrāeliarzy (my beloved), Idaña (twin), Kostilus (please)

❥ Nine Moons masterlist • Jacaerys masterlist • HOTD masterlist

❥ about me • main masterlist

The morning started off lazy at Dragonstone and the sky was gray due to the clouds around. The weather felt colder than normal, even though it was not actually a raining or very windy day. Also, you had not woken up well, no night's sleep that week seemed enough to get better the uncomfortable feelings meaning the approach of the beginning of your pregnancy's last trimester.

Your body moved restlessly on the bed, turning to the opposite side when someone opened the doors of your chambers and closed it afterwards.

A cheerful mood was not being your greatest quality during that week, but you forced yourself to face the person who entered there, sighing with some frustration when you saw Jacaerys coming towards you with a cup that you knew so well what it was for.

"Rytsas, hāedar." Jacaerys scoffed in High Valyrian, making you snort and try to turn your face away again, hearing him give you a chuckle. Almost too soft for his typical behavior "Do not look at me like that, ñuha jorrāeliarzy. I am trying to be a good brother and a good lover, bringing you some tea with the herbs that the Maester prepared for you this morning."

That only made you sigh loudly, one arm under your head as you looked at the opposite side where Jacaerys was standing next to. "I know. But this tea is disgusting and tastes like some kind of unclean water, like the ones on Street of Silk must have too."

The random parallel made Jacaerys crack an amused smile, but he bit his lip to hide it, forcing himself to maintain a straight and imposing facade. "Perhaps yes." He admitted and it was your turn to frown, turning yourself to stare at him. "I am joking. I have never drank any water at any establishment on Street of Silk. Actually, I have never visited those places."

You were still suspicious and looking at him, not knowing whether or not you should believe what your twin was saying. Almost all Targaryen men visited a brothel a least once, especially those on that stupid street. However, you ignored the doubt and sat down carefully on your bed, the hand on your own belly, which was already so big that it always made you whining in pain always when you were walking around the castle or even when you just moved on the mattresses.

As you swallowed a sip of tea, you grimaced, brow furrowed, nose wrinkled and lips down. "At least it will help with the pain in your pelvis." Jacaerys murmured comfortingly, remembering the Maester's words about the drink tasting really bad. "It is what is been helping you since last week."

You hummed, focusing on drinking the liquid and finally handing the cup back to Jace, who stared at the bottom of the object before placing it on top of the dresser closer to your bed. He watched you for a few seconds, eyes attentive to how your belly seemed more swollen than it had been the last week. Even though both of you had closely followed the pregnancies of your other siblings, especially of the little Visenya who was stillborn, something about your pregnancy seemed... Different.

He could not say exactly what it was, since most of the times the Maester came to visit you to check on your and the baby's health, Rhaenyra kept him busy with something nonsense so he never had much time to pay attention to what the older man had to tell his mother. And Jace also doubted that Rhaenyra would tell you about everything.

"What did the Maester tell you on his last checking?" Jacaerys asked with a more serious expression compared to the one he had on his face when he entered the chambers.

"Not much, because he always kept the most important informations to tell just to Mother. But he said the child is developing very well, and that my belly is the right size and—"

Jacaerys snorted, running a hand over his own face. "No, it is not."

His abrupt interruption widened your eyes, both because of hie slightly worried tone and also because of his words. How the hells could anything be wrong?

"Your belly is very big for someone who is only six moons pregnant." He sat on the free part of your bed, interrupting you for the second time when you opened the lips to defend yourself, thinking he was insulting your body. "Stop this shit. You know that is not what I meant. I fucking love your body, I love your pregnant belly. If it were not for this damn war, I would fuck you for hours. Everyday. I would always caress your belly while I had my cock inside your cunt..." A sigh escaped your lips at his words, your cheeks flushing at the idea. "Anyway, what I meant is that your belly is too big for a six month pregnancy. Unless you are not just carrying one baby inside your womb."

Your brother's hypothesis echoed through the walls and you almost choked. Both of you stood there, staring at the ceiling while your brains raced to better understand the possibility of something like that happening. There were many cases of twin children in your family, such as the twins Jaehaera and Jaehaerys, children of your aunt Helaena and your uncle Aegon, and also Baela and Rhaena, daughters of Laena and Daemon.

However, the thought about raising twins in the middle of a war terrified you even more than before. Being forcefully pregnant by your own brother who was already betrothed with another woman was terrible, but now the possibility of being carrying at the same time...

All of that increased the torment in your mind, and you let out a gasp of pain when you felt the baby — or one of the babies — kicking you inside. It was a sensation that happened more often than you would like.

"Our Mother is not telling you everything, is she?"

When you shook your head, Jacaerys ran both hands over his face again, muttering some curse in High Valyrian that you could not identify the meaning of. Lucerys had always been the sibling most easily able to speak the ancient language, but Jacaerys was putting even more effort into learning it since his younger brother's death. How could he be the King one day without even knowing the language of his ancestors? It would be a humiliation, a dishonor. It would prove to Westeros' people that he was nothing more than a legitimized bastard.

"I will talk to her." Jacaerys muttered, getting up from the bed. You grabbed his wrist and he frowned in a mix of confusion and irritation.

“I do not want them…” You swallowed hard, eyes filling with tears, not knowing how to continue saying the cruel things you were saying. "I do not want these children. I do not want twins, Jace. Please, this is too much. Probably I will not be able to go through their childbed or—"

The boy scoffed, pulling his arm away from your hands. There was a flicker of concern in Jacaerys' irises that he was determined to hide at any cost. "Not be able to go through their children?" He repeated your words indignantly. "Seven Hells, sister. You will not be the first woman nor the last one in Westeros to have twins. Laena did it. Your aunt Helaena did it too, and she was younger than you when Aegon fucked her cunt only out of duty."

It was your turn to widen your eyes in anger, your body shaking and your pelvis hurting one more time as you screamed. "BUT I DID NOT EVEN WANT TO BE PREGNANT! YOU WERE THE ONE WHO FORCED ME! YOU FUCKED ME WHEN I WAS SLEEPY AND VULNERABLE!"

Jacaerys' jaw clenched, your bitter but true sentences burning him inside. "Stop yelling." He growled slowly.

"Why? Is not it true, brother? You took advantage of me, got me pregnant against my will. You put those herbs in my dinner drink so you could try to carry out your plan by breeding me. But your plan failed and now you will need to marry Baela anyway."

"Do not be so dramatic."

"Dramatic? Jacaerys, cannot you understand? I could still be a maiden, I could… I could marry a good lord when our mother wins the war.”

"And do you really think I would let some other man marry my dear sister? Do you really think I would let some other man fuck you and breed you?" Your twin got a little closer and pointed his finger in front of your face, so close that you flinched, swearing for a few seconds that his large hand would hit your cheek. "You were always mine. You are my twin sister. We share the same blood. We shared our mother's womb at the same time. We came into the world together and we will die together. I would rather both of us die in the most painful way during this war than see you living a happy life without me."

After finishing his speech, Jacaerys caressed your cheeks, the touch so possessive and tender, many emotions passing between you. You wanted to cry out, tell him he was crazy, that Lucerys' death had turned him into an emotionally sick man. You wanted to push his hands away from your skin.

However, you also wanted Jacaerys to continue caressing your face. You wanted him to reassure you that you would not die in the childbirth. You wanted him to reassure you that everything would be fine even if you were actually pregnant with twins.

"Idaña..." You whimpered when Jacaerys lowered his fingers to your neck, applying a light pressure there, not enough to hurt you, but enough to make your crave air. He took the opportunity to bend down himself, close to you, desperate lips meeting each other while his other hand went straight to one of your breasts covered by the silk nightgown, squeezing it.

Breathing heavily, Jacaerys distanced himself from your lips and admired how the fabric of your nightwear became damp with the breast milk that flowed due to his aggressive caresses. "Fuck..." He groaned at the sight, pushing you to lay down on the bed, hovering over your body, carefully so as not to hurt your stomach. With both hands, Jacaerys tore your clothes, letting the two pieces scattered across the bed

As soon as Jacaerys took off your underwear too, he sat on the mattress and switched positions, leaning against the headboard and keeping you on top of him, your heavy and milk-filled breasts now almost in his face. "You get hotter every day, little sister." He purred, licking your collarbone and then finally sucking on your nipple, closing his eyes so he could capture as much breast milk as he wanted.

"Oh, Jace..." You looked down to see how your brother breastfeeding from you like a hungry baby. Despite the shame pounding inside your mind, your skin crawled with the overwhelming feeling of your breast being sucked and lightly nibbled. "Kostilus, idaña..." You begged with loud moans, not knowing what you were actually begging for.

For he just keeping sucking on you? For he to let you go forever and allow you to be free? For he to fuck your cunt with his fingers and with his cock afterwards?

"Kostilus?" Jace teased, repeating your plea with a mockery tone, his full lips wet with your milk, lifting his head so he could look directly at you, his fingers now playing with both of your nipples. "Do you want more, sister? But I thought you were angry that I took advantage of you, that I forced myself into you and forced you to carry my babies..."

The plural word made you wince on your twin's lap, your cunt dripping and wetting the fabric of his pants. "I... I know what I said. And it is true."

Jacaerys scoffed at your stubbornness, rolling his pretty eyes and holding your waist with his hands, causing you to whimper when he rubbed you back and forth, so slowly that you had to grab his hair and pull it back, getting a needy whining from the boy, his eyes closed with the pleasure.

You had never been a religious person, but in that moment you wished the Gods would forgive you for the way your core was so wet due the whole situation, even though the rational part of your brain knew you should be disgusted by it all. Actually, a part of you was always repudiating Jacaerys and all his acts, repudiating yourself for enjoying it too.

Perhaps you were just as disgusting and sick as Jacaerys. Perhaps deep down he was a good person who became after Lucerys' death. Perhaps trying to like it was the only way you could deal with everything. Or perhaps both of you were dirty souls, always destined for such perversities since you shared your mother's womb.

"You will not die during the childbirth. I promise you, my love." Jacaerys murmured, moving to caress your belly and enjoying the sight of the stretched skin, reddish marks appearing as the pregnancy progressed. "If you are carrying my two babies inside you indeed, then I will make sure the three of you stay alive and healthy. I will not live even a minute of my existence without my twin sister."

You swallowed hard, about to look for arguments to refute the intense assurance Jacaerys was giving you. Trying to rely on promises that demanded the graces of the Gods was a crushing feeling in your heart, an uncertainty that was filling your eyes with tears, mentally begging the universe to allow Jacaerys to be right in the end. You needed Jacaerys' promises to come true, you needed to stay alive.

When Jacaerys fingered your warm cunt and rubbed his palm over your bud, the chamber's doors swung open with a thud, your face turned pale while your naked body turned around, noticing a random guard who was not caring about the heir fingerfucking his own pregnant twin.

"Your Graces, Queen Rhaenyra orders the presence of both of you at the Small Council immediately. The Pentoshi cog carrying your younger brothers Aegon III and Viserys II was captured. Prince Aegon has just landed here In Dragonstone with his young dragon, but the Prince Viserys was left behind."

[gaytommykinard]

(this...got long. there's a lot of backstory and two OCs. bear with me)

ok i was brainstorming in the gc about this bucktommy different first meeting au thats canon divergence from s2 which would begin with buck as a single dad to a 4 year old

because one day he wakes up and social services is at his (abby's) door like surprise! you have a child! or at least that's what it feels like because buck never knew about the kid's existence because the kid's mom did not deem it worthy to let him know. it's not like she couldn't track him down, they were facebook friends. but she still kept this from him? which would cause him so much turmoil, like, that she didn't want her kid to know buck is her dad? local area man loses last shred of self esteem he already had a strenuous grasp on.

but now she's dead, so he can't even talk to her about it, and yeah, there's a 4 year old girl in his house who is missing her mom and not liking this new stranger at all. buck is trying so fucking hard to not break down in front of her but he comes close several times. like, is he ready to be a dad? hell no! he's not now (27) any more than he was when she was born (23) but the point is he IS a dad and he's trying so hard to be a good one. (listen, if you know more about the system and you think this is all wrong: i am sorry. this is a romcom and/or romdrama genre type of story. okay? cool!)

so this woman, someone he knew briefly, and they didn't exactly date, but it wasn't exactly a one-night-stand either, but this woman put him on the birth certificate because she was planning to tell the kid when she was old enough and let her decide if she wants to meet him. she wasn't planning on having kids this soon (28), but it happened, and she decided to keep it, she had a decent job and her own place and an adorable, grumpy old cat who stuck himself to her 24/7 when she was pregnant. her parents were well off and yes, of course they were disappointed, because they wanted better for her, but they got over it quickly. and she really liked evan, but he was three states over by the time she found out, and it seemed like a headache to try to coparent with the fuck buddy you hardly got to know for the month and a half you were together, anyway.

the tragedy is that buck will never really know that. this is very much a putting him in a jar and shaking it around scenario. the point is... buck is struggling. a lot.

and then he meets tommy one night. a rare night out (it's taken him a while to get everything sorted, get his daughter registered in a preschool, find a reliable babysitter (who knew childcare is so fucking hard to arrange when you're estranged from your family and your friends are either the people who work alongside you or your ex-(frat house)-roommates?) but he's getting a handle on things) and chimney invites him out one night because he's going stir-crazy at home recuperating from the near fatal stabbing and buck owes him for all the babysitting favours (there were like. 3 instances, if that. and chimney volunteered because he's actually good with kids, which totally surprises buck but he trusts chimney. and he trusts hen a little more)

anyway. he shows up at the bar and there's chimney and a total stranger. a very handsome stranger. a very funny, charming, handsome stranger.

and tommy. ten minutes into the conversation (work calls, chimney wanted to know, he has terrible fomo), chimes in with, "wait, you're the probie!" because he'd heard a thing or two from chimney, they kept in touch after he transferred, no one, not even canon, can take away my chimneytommy bestfriendsim from me, okay? like chimney would text tommy "can't believe you abandoned us. the probie just stole the ladder truck to get laid" so tommy does not expect this guy to be that guy from chimney's stories.

and yeah. buck had barely finished his probationary year before he got custody of his daughter. and it's been maybe half a year of trying to parent a grief-stricken 4-year-old with more energy than she knows what to do with (once she warms up to buck, she comes out of her shell, and quite literally wreaks havoc in the new house, which isn't in the best state to begin with anyway). and he's so tired. there's like permanent bags under his eyes and a preschool-slash-childcare calendar floating around in his brain 24/7. he maxes out at two beers and then switches to a glass of wine tommy recommends and nurses it for the rest of the night.

because the two of them stay and keep talking long after chimney heads home. tommy listens as buck rambles on about remy. offers to bring her around harbor and he'll give them both a tour. and buck lights up at that. he's totally enchanted by tommy (and he can't really figure out why just yet)

tommy gets a text from chimney the next day asking if he got lucky. and oh my god he fucking wishes he had gotten lucky. he was so tempted to ask if buck wanted to come over. have another drink with him at home. (if buck was into it, then yes, he'd be totally down to fuck. if he got awkward, tommy would have clarified that it was merely a friendly invitation. it's schrodinger's preposition). but he chickened out at the last minute, because yes, he's out now, but still not as confident as he'd like to be, not brave enough to ask out another firefighter, and definitely not a friend of a friend.

but buck calls him about that tour and tommy is more than happy to show them around. he talks to remy like she's his equal, and she warms up to him right around the end of the tour, finds her voice and asks tommy how high can he fly and tells him she can fly higher than that. tommy finds that adorable. (enough to buy her an RC helicopter for christmas. he "was at the shop buying stuff for the toy drive anyway, evan, it's not a big deal! you're the one who said she asked santa for a helicopter!")

it is absolutely a big deal. buck is like. a puddle on the floor. god help him. and yes at some point it occurred to him that he likes tommy. like-likes him. so buck invites him over on christmas eve eve when they're both off and accidentally-on-purpose catches him under the mistletoe and kisses him.

evan buckley started the year as a straight, single man and a probationary firefighter. and he's finishing it a bisexual dad to his 4 year old daughter, and a "we'll see how it goes but yeah i'll be your date for new years eve" man by his side. and i think that's hilarious.

[ceoofglytchell]

Butterfly II

| Prequel | Part 1 | Part 2 |

Summary: After getting caught by your mother and an argument that you will still remember in years to come, Rhaenyra chooses to leave the Red Keep again to ensure the safety of her sons, leaving her daughter behind, believing you to be the only one safe for the time being. However, in the night tragedy strikes and years of plotting come to a fulfilling conclusion in the middle of the Dragonpit and your love is once again put to the test.
Pairing: Aegon II Targaryen x Strong!Niece!Reader 
Word count: 6118 words (bear with me pls)
Warnings: incest, Reader is described of having Strong features, Reader is Rhaenyra’s and Harwin’s second child, minor character deaths, brief hurt/comfort, a lot of Hightower plotting and scheming, canon divergence, mentions of intimacy, no mention of Y/N 
Notes: Alright now, I think I am going to make this into a series. Please, let me know if you would be interested in reading more of this pairing. Enjoy 💛

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅

"How could this happen?!" cried Princess Rhaenyra in horror as she paced the entrance to her only daughter's chambers.

You were still sitting in bed, the sheets wrapped around your body to hide your bare skin from the eyes of your mother and the queen, who had also rushed through the door a few seconds ago. Aegon sat next to you, his arm wrapped protectively around your waist while the sheets hid the lower half of his body.

You had both been sleeping peacefully, snuggled up together, when a maid had apparently entered the chambers and found the princess in the arms of the eldest prince - a scandal in her eyes and in those of the gods.

Since then, your chambers have become the scene of a heated argument in which the two older women shouted at each other and your lover and uncle held you close to him because he would not let you out of his sight for even a second. Never again. Not after everything that had happened yesterday. You had been separated for six years and now you had made sure that you could never be separated again.

You had taken your fate into your own hands for once.

"Oh, I don't know. Perhaps because your daughter couldn't stop fluttering her eyelashes at my son!" argued Queen Alicent, pointing an accusing finger at you, whereupon you turned your head slightly to the side, hiding your face in your lover's silver hair.

"Pardon me? It is more likely that your son couldn't stop pining after my daughter! Seducing her and corrupting her!" countered Rhaenyra, getting louder and louder with every word she spoke.

"Corrupting her? We both know she always was."

A cold shiver ran down your spine and Aegon immediately held you tighter when that one topic suddenly came up. That one topic that no one in the family talked about, even though everyone knew about it. It was an unspoken truth, something that everyone knew, even the people of the small folk.

"Careful. One more word, Alicent. One word," the princess threatened, taking a small step toward her former friend, but instead of affection, there was nothing but loathing in her own violet eyes.

"Rhaenyra..." The queen walked a few steps across the room, her gaze fixed on the floor beneath her feet. She shook her head as if she were waging war in her own mind, and she was. You were a bastard, unworthy of her son, and yet he seemed to love you as if you were made for each other. "They will have to marry."

A brief glimmer of hope appeared within Aegon and he looked at his mother with wide, pleading eyes, but his gaze - vulnerable and weak - only made her angrier.

His half-sister immediately shook her head as if she had made this decision years ago, and indeed she had. Since the birth of her daughter, she had sworn that she would protect you and do everything she could to make you happy, but she certainly had not expected you to choose him.

Just as Viserys had once been unhappy with her and Daemon, she was now angry with you and Aegon. It was the same situation, only years later, but even though she should have understood it better than anyone, she did not want to understand it. She did not want her daughter to find happiness with Alicent's son. Not when she was sure that the Hightowers were secretly planning to usurp the throne and put the boy on it. She could not and would not allow this to happen.

"No, they won't. I will betroth her, today, and we will pretend that none of this ever happened."

"Mother!" you protested immediately, your uncle having to hold you back from jumping up, as you were both still bare beneath the sheets.

"Mother, please, I beg you. He did not force himself on me or seduce me in any way. I wanted it. I wanted it because- because I love him."

For a moment, your chambers were enveloped in silence, an uncomfortable and long silence that felt like half an eternity, although it was only a few seconds, a minute at most.

"Oh, the gods punish me!" the queen said, wiping her face with a hand while your mother stared at the ground. Both women realized that this was not something they could hide or sweep under the carpet. It would become an open secret, as would the fact that you and your brothers were not Laenor's children.

“You are going to get married. As soon as possible and preferably by the end of this moon," Rhaneyra said firmly instead, whereupon she turned around and rushed out the door without hesitation, as if she could no longer bear to look at you, the spitting image of now two obvious disgraces.

The Green Queen, however, stayed.

For a moment the room was shrouded in silence and none of you three said a word, only your steady breathing could be heard. But then Aegon spoke up again: "I told you, we will survive somehow."

In less than a second, Alicent was standing in front of the bed and grabbing her son's face with one hand, pressing her fingers into his pale cheeks and an expression of pure anger and incomprehension in her eyes.

Your lover flinched and you too let out a slight gasp of shock, but otherwise you remained silent because you were too afraid that another word from you would make the older woman even angrier than she already was and you did not want her to hurt him under any circumstances. Never.

"I already told you then to stay away from her. Why, Aegon? Why do you always defy me? Tell me, why can you not be more like Aemond, have his sense of duty and his virtue? Of all my children you are the biggest disappointment."

Tears formed in Aegon's eyes and you could feel him starting to tremble. His cheeks were red and you could see him trying hard not to cry. What you did not know, however, was that he was holding back because of you. He had already sworn back then that he would always be strong for you and he would be now too.

"Answer me!" the queen demanded and pressed her fingers deeper into his soft cheeks, her sharp nails leaving small crescent-shaped marks in his flesh.

You saw the first tear fall and you could not bear it any longer. Instinctively, your delicate hand turned around the woman's wrist and you looked at her with a fire in your eyes that she knew all too well from your own mother. The dragon's blood was in your veins and for a moment the innocent butterfly turned into a bloodthirsty predator.

"Let him go, Your Grace," you said in a voice that Aegon did not recognize from you. Your tone was calm and measured, but your undertone dripped with anger and a silent threat that if she did not leave him now, she would awaken something that could never be put to sleep again.

Reminded of a time long gone, a time when she was carefree and unmarried, happy, Alicent Hightower released her grip from her son's face and took a step back from the bed. You were still a bastard, but you were definitely Rhaenyra's daughter too. You had the same fire, the same wildness that she had when she was younger. For some reason, she hated you even more now. She was so bound by her duty that she would never have broken a rule to prove her love for a man. Aegon and you were different, you knew no duty, no sense of honor, and you deserved no mercy under the gods' eyes. But mayhaps you deserved each other.

The prince breathed a sigh of relief, but you could feel him still shaking like a branch in the wind.

The queen breathed angrily, turned and hurried out of the chambers, the door slamming loudly behind her. The room was wrapped in an uncomfortable silence for a moment, as both of your minds were racing with the words spoken. You would marry.

"Thank you," Aegon whispered softly, looking to the side where you were sitting, but your eyes had already been on him, on the small red marks his mother's nails had left on his skin. You could not help but wonder how many times that had happened in the years when you could not be there for him. What else she had done. She may not have hit him today, but you knew she had. Otto as well, perhaps even worse.

"You are welcome, my love. I don't know what I would have done if she had not left. I would have... I would have-"

"Shh, butterfly. Don't worry about me. I am used to my mother's anger, but you should not have seen that." He tried to calm you and put his arm around your shoulders again, whereupon you buried your face in his curls.

His scent filled your senses and for a moment you could forget everything that had happened so far and you were reminded of a time many years ago when you were both young and believed in foolish dreams. These dreams would now come true, finally true. It took so long, but now no one would ever be able to tear you apart again. Never again.

"We will marry."

Your uncle pressed a kiss to your head and breathed in the sweet scent of your brown hair, which had always been a sign of your beauty. You did not need silver hair or violet eyes to be a Targaryen. You simply were, and he loved you more than anything else.

"Yes, we will. We will."

You did not get a chance to say farewell to your mother or your brothers as they mounted their dragons to fly back to Dragonstone. It was not that you did not want to, but you had other things to do. Better things.

Aegon and you were far too busy inaugurating your chambers and his. In bed, he had you lying on your back beneath him once more, his hips moving rapidly and desperately against yours, your fingers entwined with his as your loud moans and his deep grunts filled the chambers. Then, after you had eaten breakfast, he had pressed you against the hard wooden top of the table and disappeared beneath the soft fabric of your nightgown, taking up space between your warm thighs as he showed you how talented his tongue was.

At sunset, you sat on his lap with his face buried between your breasts, and he taught you to ride him like you ride your dragon. The evening ended with you lying on the soft fur next to the lit fire, his hand buried in your long hair while you slowly and intimately satisfied him with your mouth, which elicited noises from him that made you press your thighs together again, searching for that delicious friction that would take her to bliss eventually.

You had never been happier in your entire life than with him by your side and when he held you close to him that night, he knew that he would do everything in his power to never lose you again. Never again.

You had never slept as peacefully and comfortably as that night. Your future husband held you in his arms while your head rested on his chest and you listened to his steady heartbeat and felt safe and protected in his warmth.

What none of you knew, however, was that not far from your bedchamber, Alicent and Otto Hightower were already plotting new intrigues, because the queen had been awakened in the middle of the night by her chambermaid with news that had shaken her to the core - the king is dead.

King Viserys closed his eyes for the last time and only his wife knew his last words, his wish that Aegon should now follow him on the Iron Throne instead of Rhaenyra.

And who was she to contradict his last wish?

The council meeting took place in the early hours of the morning behind closed doors. The future king was unaware of the whole thing, as was half of the castle. Only the Small Council knew of the death of their ruler and of the seriousness of the situation they now had to learn to deal with.

Ser Criston Cole murdered Lord Beesbury in the name of his queen, the woman he was devoted to, and the leader of the Kingsguard resigned from his post. When the sun crossed Visenya's hill, all servants and maids were taken to the dungeons and the king's chambers were sealed.

You woke up alone in the bed in your lover's chambers. Sleepy and still tired, you sat up on the soft mattress and let your gaze wander around the rooms. It was quiet. Too quiet.

Where was Aegon?

Your hand slid to the side and you ran your palm over the fabric only to notice that it was cold, which meant that you had been sleeping alone for some time. You did not understand. He had promised you that you would have breakfast in the garden in the morning and that he might take you to see Sunfyre. After all, you had not seen the golden beast for six years and you and Silverwing missed the dragon. You might have flown together for a few hours.

Yawning, you rubbed the sleep from your eyes before slowly getting out of bed. A soft gasp escaped you as your thighs still ached a little from yesterday's activities, but it was a sweet pain that you were willing to endure.

You reached for your thin white nightgown that still rested on the floor, and as you pulled it on and wrapped your naked body in cloth again, you noticed that Aegon's clothes were missing.

His breeches, his tunic and doublet, his rings and chains, everything was gone. Perhaps he had already left for breakfast?

However, the man usually slept like a stone and nothing but you could wake him. Where could he be?

A bad feeling spread in the pit of your stomach and you got the feeling that something was very wrong.

"Aegon? My love, are you there?" you asked just to make sure, because it could be that he was on the balcony or sitting in front of the fireplace, but you got no answer.

You slowly limped towards the door, not thinking about the fact that you were only wearing your thin nightgown or that your long brown hair was flowing wild and disheveled down your back. None of that mattered to you, because all you wanted was to have your beloved prince by your side again.

Your delicate hand closed around the golden doorknob, but when you tried to open the door you noticed that it would not move. It was locked. You leaned against the door with all your weight and began to shake the knob wildly, your breathing becoming more and more panicked.

You were locked in. Why in the Seven Hells were you locked in?

"Hello? Hello! Is someone there?! As princess, I command this door to be opened now!"

You were met with nothing but silence and a feeling of hopelessness slowly formed in the pit of your stomach. Suddenly the chambers felt cold and empty, when only the evening before they had been filled with passion and love.

"Oh, Aegon... where are you?" you whispered quietly and leaned your pale forehead against the wood the door was made of.

Suddenly you heard a loud crash and many screams in the distance. As fast as your feet could carry you, you ran to the nearest window and what you saw made your breath catch and your eyes widen.

Meleys, the Red Queen, flew out of the dragon pit and towards the sea as fast as her wings could carry her. Her destination was probably Dragonstone - where your mother and brothers were.

Smoke rose from the dragon pit and people ran panicked through the streets back to their homes. Something was going on there, something important.

You slowly sat down on the windowsill and buried your face in your hands. Yesterday had been such a wonderful day, such a wonderful evening, and now there was nothing but confusion inside you. Your lover was gone, your doors were locked, no one responded to your cries for help and Rhaenys seemed to have fled as fast as she could.

An hour later, when the sun was at its highest in the sky, you suddenly heard the sound of your doors being unlocked.

You immediately jumped up from your seat by the window and ran to the door, but you had not expected what would happened next.

Aegon came running through the door, the Conqueror's crown on his head, his sword at his hip, and she had never seen him wear such elaborately embroidered clothes before. Dried tears still glistened on his cheeks and his eyes were cast to the floor as if he could not bear looking at you.

Shame was eating him alive.

His name escaped you in a soft whisper and you watched as he began to tremble and new tears formed in his violet eyes.

"They made me king," he explained quietly, and if he had spoken just a little louder, his voice would have broken.

"What? No... no, you are jesting." Your words were a desperate attempt to avoid facing the truth, but you knew it was true. He wore all the symbols of the Conqueror on his body. The symbols of a man he could not care less about. It could not be a jest.

"I-I just wanted to get you some grapes this morning and-and then," the tears were now flowing freely down his cheeks and he doubled over as sobs escaped him as if they were being forced out of him, "Cole found me and mother… mother said the time had come."

Before you could react, he suddenly wrapped his arms around you and buried his head in your hair, feeling the cold surface of the crown press against his neck.

"Father is dead."

A cold shiver ran down your spine because you knew it was true. It explained why your doors were locked, why no one answered you, and why Rhaenys had fled on Meleys. King Viserys the Peaceful was dead and now his firstborn son, your Aegon, was the next in line to sit on the Iron Throne.

“But what about my mother?” you voiced your thoughts out loud, and he found himself flinching.

"My mother said father had changed his mind. His last words... he said I should follow him on the throne."

Slowly you leaned back so you could look him in the eyes to see if he was telling the truth. His purple eyes were red from all the tears he had already shed, but you could also see that he was being honest.

There was a possibility Alicent may have lied, but he was telling her what he believed to be true. He was being honest.

"Do you think she was telling the truth?" you asked him quietly, cupping his face with your hands so that he had to look you in the eyes and couldn't look away.

Your lover shrugged and you could see his lower lip start to tremble as more pearly tears flowed down his pale cheeks like water of a waterfall.

"She and my Grandsire have always wanted to see me on the throne. I cannot tell you, my love.”

His chambers were silent for a moment before he cleared his throat again. “Am I a usurper?”

It was a difficult question. In some eyes he would surely be seen as a usurper, a brother who stole the throne from his sister without even consulting her or seeking the opinion of a greater council. On the other hand, there will be just as many voices saying that Aegon was the true heir, since he was Viserys' first male son and thus continued the tradition of House Targaryen.

You could not and would not answer that question.

All you knew was that you loved this man and that you knew that everything would change now. Nothing would be the same as it had been the day before.

Suddenly the door to the chambers opened and you looked up to see Ser Criston crossing the threshold. A serious expression darkened his features as he saw Aegon's face buried in your shoulder and how he held himself as if you were the last anchor that bound him to this world.

"You are expected in the throne room, Your Grace," said the White Cloak, bowing slightly.

The bow, the title, it made you understand that this was not just a terrible nightmare, but the truth. Your beloved was king. And you? The bastard he loved.

"Must I?" the young king murmured into the fabric of your dress, but the knight seemed to have heard him.

"There are some oaths that must be renewed, my king," the older man explained, motioning for him to follow him.

The silver-haired man sniffed and wiped his tear-stained face on his sleeve once, so as not to show any weakness to the lords of the court. He could not be weak. Not anymore. Never again.

Aegon followed Ser Criston out of the chambers, but you were not alone for long.

Maybe two or three minutes later, some maids ran in, curtsied, and quickly began to move you toward your dressing table, which made you look at them confused. You did not know what was going on, nor why they wanted to help you dress now and not two hours ago.

The women began to undo the strings on the back of your nightgown, and you just wished you had not looked to the side at that moment. Another maid had come in, but this one was holding a richly embroidered, beautiful green dress in her arms. Not red, not purple, not pink, but green. The color of the Hightowers. His color.

The fabric fell to the floor and you could hear the women's surprised gasps when they saw the red marks on your neck and hips. Heat rose in your cheeks because you knew that they knew what you and your lover had done last night. And during the day as well.

"By the Seven. That is not appropriate, young lady," said an older woman, whereupon you shook your head slightly. However, you could not think of anything other than Aegon and that green dress that you were going to get dressed in. But why? Why now?

The maids got you ready with a speed that surprised you. In no time at all they had brushed your hair and woven small pearls and gold threads into the brown curls. They also dabbed the juice of a strawberry on your lips so that your mouth appeared even redder than it already was naturally. There was something strange about this situation.

The whole day was surreal.

"What is the meaning of this?" you asked one of them as they helped you tie the green fabric- much tighter than you were used to.

"We are forbidden to tell you that, Princess," replied one of the younger ones, who was just pushing one of the long, transparent sleeves over your arm.

You furrowed your eyebrows together as your gaze slid over your reflection in the mirror. Admittedly, you looked beautiful. The green dress clung tightly to your form and accentuated your feminine curves. It was not quite scandalous, but you knew that you would feel a few more pairs of eyes on you than usual. You may be petite and delicate, but you were certainly not without allure.

"I don't understand."

"Neither do we, Your Grace."

"Your Grace?" you repeated, astonished, and you no longer understood anything. Your head was empty. Nothing made sense anymore.

"Is she ready?" A biting voice suddenly interrupted the still quite calm atmosphere of the room. Alicent Hightower, dressed in a long dark green gown, a veil and a large silver necklace in the shape of the seven-pointed star of the Faith of the Seven hanging around her neck, stood not far from you and looked at you with a look of pure scruples and resentment in her eyes.

"Yes, my queen," the servants answered in unison and looked down at the floor, but you didn't know whether it was with respect, awe or fear.

The Dowager Queen grabbed your arm roughly and began to pull you along with quick steps. The long corridors of the Red Keep seemed even colder and gloomy that day and you could swear your heart almost jumped out of your chest.

"Where are you taking me?" you asked her, your voice trembling with uncertainty.

"The throne room," she replied, curtly and coldly.

"Why?"

"Stop questioning me, girl," she said, gripping your arm even tighter, which made you whimper quietly. Even through the fabric of the dress you could feel her fingers pressing into your skin.

The large doors of the throne room opened in front of you and in that very moment you could feel all eyes turning to you, the daughter of Rhaenyra Targaryen, and the Dowager Queen of House Hightower. A murmur went through the crowd as the lords and ladies realized that you were dressed in an emerald green dress and that you were here, unfettered and uninjured, unconstrained and untouched.

The crowd parted and your eyes widened when you saw Aegon sitting on the Iron Throne, imposing and proud. The golden midday light fell through the windows behind the throne and enveloped the king in an almost angelic glow. He looked like he was made for this very place. A king as he would be honored in the history books.

In a way, it was even true that he was born for the throne. After all, he was the firstborn son of the king.

Otto Hightower's voice brought you out of your thoughts again: "And at the very end: The only daughter of Rhaenyra has come to swear eternal loyalty to our king under the eyes of the old gods and the new!"

Your lips parted and shock was written on your face as you finally understood what was happening here. Aegon looked down in shame because he could see that you knew. What they would ask of you could ruin everything. Your love, your bond, everything.

Your feet moved of their own accord as you approached the throne, whose shadow enveloped you. You could almost feel the executioner's sword hovering over your head, ready to strike.

At the steps of the throne, the queen pressed your shoulder, indicating that it was now time to kneel and swear your oath. The oath for your one, true king.

You had no choice. Hundreds of pairs of eyes were on you, Aegon was staring at you and you feared what would happen if you refused and swore allegiance to your mother instead. You couldn't do it. You were weak and your heart belonged entirely to Aegon. You were not blinded by love, but chained by it.

Your knees hit the hard stone floor of the hall and you mourned the pristine fabric of the dress that would now be soiled.

The silence in the throne room was oppressive and only the deep, pleading look of your lover saved you from bursting into tears of despair.

"In the name of House Velaryon and my mother the Princess, I swear to you, King Aegon, second of your name, eternal loyalty and faithfulness. I wish to live and remain by your side, to fight and die for you. You are the true heir to the Iron Throne and I am a loyal servant of the crown, of you."

Your sweet voice was music to Aegon's ears and his heart pounded strongly in his chest with every word that left your lips. He was aware of the fact that your oath of loyalty was a lie and that you only recited it because circumstances forced you to, but a small part of him wished you would truly see him as the true king.

You would. At some point.

"I, King Aegon of House Targaryen, accept your oath and dare to go one step further. Every king needs a wife who supports him and stands by him loyally, just as my mother had been with my father for years. Now I need someone similar at my side."

He rose from his throne and looked down at you kneeling before him and looking at him with large, uncertain eyes. A small part of him could get used to this image.

"In our childhood, dear niece, you always stood by me, gave me your trust and your heart, and now I ask for your hand."

A loud murmur went around the crowd and it was obvious that some of the lords thought this was a hasty, unwise decision.

None of them knew that you had already given yourself to him entirely and that your souls and bodies had already become one. You were already his and after today, no one could take you away from him. He just wished the circumstances had been better. He wanted you, he loved you, but - impulsive as he usually was - he had not expected your marriage to turn out like this.

Certainly not on the same day that he was forced to become something he never wanted. How bittersweet it was. He got something he never wanted, but he also got what he always wanted - you.

"Be my wife, my queen. Butterfly, I-"

"What is your decision?" his grandfather, the Hand, interrupted him quickly before he could say something wrong that would betray his insecurity as a ruler.

For a moment, the throne room was enveloped in a deafening silence. All eyes were on you and you could feel half of the room thinking this was a good idea, one that could save the realm from being split, and the others immediately regretting their renewed oaths.

Like him, you had never wanted the throne. It had never interested you and you had known from a young age that it would not be yours. But now your lover was sitting on it and you knew you could not leave him alone.

Oh, just what would you not do for love?

"Yes," your voice was quiet, but because of the silence that had spread in the throne room, everyone heard you immediately.

A wide smile spread across Aegon's lips and you could see that he was genuinely happy with your decision. To Otto and Alicent, this seemed a cleverly devised move, but to the young king, it was so much more than that. To him, you were not just a tool in a war that was slowly brewing on the horizon, you were his everything. You were the sun that brightened his days, that gave him warmth and strength, you were his moon that breathed light into the darkness of his soul, but most importantly, you were the sole owner of the key to his heart.

His beloved little butterfly.

Aegon looked to the side where an older man in a finely embroidered white robe held a velvet pillow in his hands, on which lay a delicate, fine crown. It was golden and jagged at the ends, as if it were rays of sunlight reaching out into the sky, and in the middle were a pearl on either side and an emerald in the middle. It was a crown fit for a queen.

The man, a High Septon, handed him the crown with a nod of approval, which in the same sense meant that this union had the blessing of the gods. It was an unconventional wedding, yes, but special circumstances called for special measures. Nonetheless, he had always imagined your wedding to be different. More peaceful and actually far away from King's Landing and the crown.

Now it was just another shattered dream that he could mourn.

He took the crown as if it were as fragile as glass. Just as you were a contrast to him, your crown was a contrast to the Conqueror's that now rested on his head.

Carefully and with a gentleness that no one else knew from him except you, he placed the crown on your hair, watching you try not to cry. He could understand that. Perhaps he understood it better than anyone else.

The walk to his own coronation that morning had been filled with the same feeling as if the executioner was already sharpening his axe or a rope that was already being tied. The crown was a death sentence.

"I am yours and you are mine, my queen," he said so that the lords and ladies present in the hall could hear, but at the same time there was a warmth in his eyes that was meant only for you.

He held out his hand to you. You took it.

"I am yours and and you are mine, my king."

Polite applause echoed through the throne room and even the Dowager Queen could not help but smile when she saw her firstborn lean towards you and gently press a kiss to your cheek. In her eyes, you might not deserve this title and she did not have any sympathy towards you, but this wedding was a long-planned move by Alicent and Otto Hightower after they had realized that you two could not be separated. You always found each other like a moth a light.

The advantage of a wedding was that you could no longer escape. You belonged to him now. A prisoner, rather than a queen, and the Blacks would know this. They would not be able to simply attack without risking harm to their most precious treasure.

Because the marriage and coronation were quite sudden, the festivities were non existent. The nobles who had renewed their oaths of loyalty had left and you and Aegon had returned to his chambers together - well, your chambers.

The silence after the door closed behind you was deafening and for a moment neither he nor you spoke a single word.

The crowns lay heavy on both of your heads and all you wanted to do was cry bitterly. He felt very much the same.

Aegon took the crown and laid it roughly on a wooden dresser. The black iron already had so many nicks that he didn't care if it had one more. He wanted to throw it off the balcony and hope it broke on impact on the ground.

"I'm sorry, butterfly. I'm so sorry," he whispered, bracing himself with his hands on the wooden edges of the dresser, his head facing the floor as shame flooded through him.

Your heart broke at the sight and you could feel a dam breaking inside you and the first tears streaming down your pale, ivory cheeks. As quickly as you could, you wrapped your arms around his middle and leaned your head against his back.

You were now trapped in a cage, trapped with him, and despite all of that, despite the hatred that was woven deep into your family bond, you loved him dearly and more than anything else.

This realization was the last straw for him and a jolt ran through him as he too began to cry bitterly and tremble like a leaf on a branch during a storm.

Without hesitation, he turned around, wrapped his arms around you and buried his head in your hair, inhaling your familiar scent and wetting the strands with salty tears.

Your delicate crown fell from your head and landed with a dull thud on the stone floor of the Red Keep. Neither you nor he cared.

All you cared about right now was giving each other comfort and showing love.

Over and over he mumbled apologies into your hair and you whispered back that it was alright, that he hadn't made the decision and that you were grateful to be his wife.

You spent the night of your wedding holding each other and offering comfort, hoping that everything would turn out well and that Rhaenyra would somehow accept these new developments and come to terms with the fact that her only daughter was now queen.

You would never know the 'what if', because it was in this very night that the first act of the war was being carried out.

Prince Aemond had flown to Storm's End to secure a marriage alliance with one of the Baratheon girls, but he came back not as a betrothed, but as a kinslayer.

War, the Dance of Dragons, was now inevitable.

And you and Aegon found yourself in the middle of it.

⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅∙∘☽༓☾∘∙•⋅⋅⋅•⋅⋅⊰⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅⋅•⋅

[pinkmirth]

thinking about s/o who likes to dress up their vampire bf (yes i'm talking about adrian) and they always make sure that he likes the outfit too. he's just so pretty i can't 🥺

𝜗𝜚 ࣪ ˖ 𓈒 “DOTE” FT. ADRIÁN ‘ALUCARD’ ȚEPEȘ! ⸻ ( 2k+ ) words of ⨾ fluff + suggestive/nsfw, alucard x fem!reader ( black-coded ), canon-divergent, set in the set in the 15th century (1400s), established relationship, lowercase intended, explicit language, minors shoo!

my love letter! ౨ৎ ₊ ⊹ oh my goodness luna, i adore this!!! doting on adrian and clothing him sounds like a dream! it’s moving enough for me to want to put it into words . . . i ended up writing this out to be a teensy bit sentimental, if that’s okay! i feel like he’d be hesitant to receive affection but eventually ends up reveling in it because it’s just what he needed! adrian truly deserves some loveee, and i’m here to give it to him >.< please enjoy, and thank you so much for reading! ❤︎

there’s something you and your lover like to call the ‘ echoes, ’ simply put, for any noise that bounces off the walls resounds throughout the entire castle. it’s a reliable system, and adrian’s able to use it to call your attention from anywhere within it.

“darling,” there goes his soothingly silken voice, ringing out all the way from the east wing. at times, you’re amused at how it can reach you from this far. “would you come over and give this a look, please?”

at his plea, you’ll be there. so you settle down the leatherback-book you’d been reading, slinking the pad of your finger beneath a page to fold it by the crisp outer corner.

“coming!”

you’re sure he feels you nearing, courtesy of your shallow-heeled footsteps thudding upon the wine-red shag of his home’s romanian rugs. he acknowledges your presence by swinging open the door to the primary bedroom.

you didn’t think you’d have to tiptoe around mountain-sized heaps of clothing upon entering adrian’s chamber— his closet’s practically ravaged. although, living with a dhampir was never known to be an experience short of surprises.

in the midst of all the madness is where he stands, still adorned in his cream nightgown. he’s got a garment clutched in one hand and a pullover tunic in the other. the subtle veins running along his slender hands makes his grip look exasperated. alucard appears to be having one of those days— where nothing feels just right.

“what’s all this, dear? thought you’d have been dressed by now,” you call out, making your way around a stockpile of trousers to approach him. gently, your delicate hands come to settle upon the broad expanse of his clothed chest. just as he figured it would, your touch immediately soothes him.

the man sighs before he speaks. “i apologize,” adrian peers down at you from where he stands, dropping both items to rest his hands on either side of your hips, “i’ll make sure to clean up afterwards.”

“no worries,” you hum, offering him a warm, sweet smile. when he tends to grow reckless, you know what he needs most is a dash of affection. “you wanted me to take a look at something, yes?”

“i did,” he mumbles, sunny eyes flitting over to his plundered closet, “though now i’m seriously reconsidering every single piece that i own.”

you don’t make a point to say it, but you know it isn’t about the blouses or the pants or any of those things. it’s his mind that tends to run rampant on all that’s been and all he’s lost. at tines, it manifests into agitation, a period of overstimulation where one thing makes him shirk and another gets him withdrawn. despite it all, he’s consoled that you’re here to reel him back in and distract him from himself in that dreamy little way that you do.

“show me the one you were last contemplating on, adrian.” you do it with such ease, pulling him out of his own head and bringing him back into the moment. for a good second, he thinks of just how lucky one man could possibly be.

“go on,” you pat his chest, and his lips flit up into a subtle grin. now more content, adrian scours for it and eventually plucks it off an embroidered chair situated in the corner; only God knows how it got there.

pinched between his index and thumbs, alucard holds up the top, exaggerated sleeves and all, presenting it to you; a simple chestnut colored option that shares the same wood-like hue as the bedpost.

“my twelfth option of the day,” he snidely notes. his sarcasm pries giggle from you. “what do you think, love?”

“it’s quite pretty,” you tilt your head, inspecting the piece with sparkly, concentrated eyes. he admires the way a wispy strand of hair falls along to drape against your face. just precious, he believes.

“it’s a little puffy at the sleeves, though.”

“i knew it,” adrian attests, “this is too . . . flouncy.”

“oh, forget what i said! it’s the perfect amount of flouce.”

“no no, it’s far too much. it’s practically screaming at me.” to that, you chuckle a bit. he can be ever so keen to such minute details.

theatrically, adrian mounts the nearby bed and flops atop the tousled sheets, an exhale leaving the depths of his chest upon impact. “i suppose this is just an ‘only-underwear’ sort of day.” you nearly add that he might as well free himself as a whole and go naked, but the poor man would flush so badly that you choose to refrain.

“you know, adrian,” you scan over his collection, eyeing the finest of silks, puffed shirts and ruffles. his wardrobe practically looks fitting for that of wallachian royalty. “i could make it easy, choose an outfit for you.”

its sudden, how he sits upright and turns to you. his eyes blink just a bit wider, a little slower. alucard’s mouth strikingly quirks upwards in a way that makes you believe he hadn’t been comfortable with the idea— almost as though you’d been meaning to treat him like a child.

“you’d . . . dress me up?”

you retract in the slightest, “only if you’d like. it isn’t a must—”

“please,” he ultimately responds, tone soft and low, “by all means.” it had just been the thought of the sheer intimacy that dazed him. you selecting what would fit him best through your eyes, pulling himself free of his clothes, revealed unto you as you’re dolling him up . . . it all sounds so touching and right now, he wants nothing more.

he can feel palpable relief roll off of you in waves as you beam, “sounds perfect, then.” he calms himself and fixes his countenance, gracing you with a sincere smile. rosy pigment scatters itself upon his face. you catch onto that hopeful glimmer in his eye, one that shows he’s pleased though you can’t quite place it. he’s too softened to say that gratitude has overcome him.

your back is facing him as you rummage around and take your pick, “undress while i put something together, alright?”

“bold request,” adrian characteristically quips. you merely laugh, “you should be bare once i turn around, you hear?”

he hums in acknowledgment, although he opts for tidying up the room first. you can’t see him with your back turned, yet you know he made use of his vampirian speed to grab and fold all his clothes that’d been thrown-askew, including the night attire he’d already been wearing. it amazes you that it only took him a solid eight seconds to complete it all.

“i’m sure that’s convenient,” you muse, turning his way with your selections in hand. alucard’s bare now, adorned in nothing other than his undergarments. a plain and skimpy pair of beige-white breeches shouldn’t excite you so— but god, they hang so low on his hips it’s like they’re barely even there. and how could you possibly ignore the way the cloth clings to his thighs? his arms look strong and coiled like wire, and the chiseled lining of his lean torso is embellished by the fleshy-pink scar that runs past his abdomen all the way up the center of his firm chest.

adrian can only hold your gaze for so long before realizing that you’re drinking him in. consciously, he pivots his head the other way as though to escape it, allowing his lengthy hair to drape down and cover the flushing of his fair cheeks.

you inch up to him, setting the clothes on his bedside. you find his larger hand to interlace with your own, and he only grows redder. there’s an indescribable pride that comes with being capable of riling him up.

“oh, don’t tell me you’re shy,” your hum is sugary like marmalade, “i’ve seen you before . . . you’re beautiful.”

“oh my god,” he whispers, pressing a palm to his heated face. sometimes adrian finds you to be too sweet. he isn’t sure how you haven’t yet succeeded at killing him with all your flattery. he bashfully smiles, cheeks warm as you stand high on your toes to peck them. “you and that mouth of yours.”

“i’ll leave you alone before you overheat,” you tease, halting your affections to return to the task at hand. “you love to toy with me,” he breathes out, and your giggle confirms it. you then display your choices; fitted pants of black leather paired with a warm-tan blouse, one that brings out the shine of his sharp eyes and adds a flush of vitality to his fair skin. interestingly enough, it resembles the color of his golden hair. you’d gone with something similar to his typical style so that he’d feel comfortable wearing it; though you know he’s been rather picky today.

“is it okay?” the way you await his approval makes his heart throb right within his chest. if only you knew that you handpicking anything for him was enough to make him fall in absolute love with it. it had never really been the outfit— he’s sure he just needed you all along.

“more than okay.” he smiles up at you, lips soft and pale-pink. you wonder if you’d end up altering the mood if you leaned down to kiss him. “well chosen, dear.”

“i know just what you like, don’t i?” you sound quite delighted, and it warms him up inside. “but of course. it’s my closet, after all.” the both of you share a knowing laugh that makes you feel so wholesome, so bound. you’ll be sure to commit the feeling to memory.

he then rises to his feet, standing a solid foot above you as he works his way into the bottoms you chose. a pout overtakes you, pretty lips pursed as you whine, “i could’ve done that!”

“you’ll get to fix the blouse. sounds fair, yes?” adrian knows if you were to have worn his pants for him, the hard-on he’d sport would’ve been more than embarrassing. you’ve seen each other vulnerable a good amount of times, and made love even more than what could be counted, but during a moment like this would only sully the mood, he’s sure.

with a hum, you give in. “fine,” your fingers trace against the threading of his shirt, “sit back down for me. you’re too tall for me to dress you from here,” alucard’s always found the contrast in size between the both of you to be endearing, especially whenever you go on to mention it. you’re surprised he decides to choose obedience instead of poking fun. he takes his place upon the bed and makes room for you to settle atop his lap. it’s instinctive, how quickly his hands reach for your waist. he rubs them along the patterning of your corset.

“arms out,” you’re a little less content when his touch leaves you, though you adore how well he listens. you ease the top over his head, onto his arms and finally onto the rest of his frame, tucking away the mussed locks of wavy blonde hair that fall array.

“i’ll brush it out for you later, adri,” you murmur, smoothing down the frizz before bringing your hands to cradle his cheeks. his face looks simply ethereal this close; flawlessly structured, handsome yet elegant. once again, his hands find their rightful place upon your sides. you watch him melt in your very hold when you coo, “my pretty boy.”

he whimpers a lowly call of your name. “thank you . . for all of it.” you know these sort of pocketed moments mean so much to him. his gentle pitch wavers with the subtlest hint of desire; you’d know the sound of it anywhere. still soft-spoken, though the slightest bit deeper. raspier, even. he only reserves such a tone for you.

your response is hushed, just about breathless, “always, adrian.” the pair of you are so close that the straightened tip of his nose grazes against your own. when the tension grows too thick and you can no longer escape his lips reeling you in like magnets, you finally lean into him and let your mouths slot, warmth blooming between you. his lithe fingers roam and you suckle at his bottom lip, prying a soft groan out of him.

alucard kisses you with longing, the span of his fangs subtly clashing against the pearly white of your teeth as he works at prodding his tongue inside, nipping at your lips and tasting of you. he frees out soft, little ‘ i love you’ amongst all the licking and sucking.

you both wind up toppling down onto the bed, with his back to the mattress and your squished breasts to his heart. making out with a man such as adrian always gets so heavy; you’re panting into each other's mouths, swallowing up the other one’s sounds, and you just can’t seem to help but slowly roll your hips into the stiffness of his crotch. a handful of minutes with him already has you entirely soiled.

“this is becoming something else,” alucard breaks away with a huff, fighting himself not to rip off the clothes you just adorned him in.

but fuck, you aren’t helping. “allow it, then . . .” is your solution, bringing the plush surface of your lips to suckle along his jaw, against the column of his throat, right down his neck . . . no point in refraining now. you eased him of his worries, and he only wants nothing more than to repay you.

“quite a shame, dear.” it truly is— especially considering that you put together such a stylish assortment for him. “now everything must be undone.”

© 𝒫𝐼𝑁𝐾ℳ𝐼𝑅𝑇𝐻! ⸻ all rights reserved! do not steal, plagiarize or repost any of my works. please and thank you! ❤︎

[michaelmilligan]

The Jonmartin manifesto no one asked for but needed to get out

So, I've not been in the tma fandom for long yet, having only listened to it for the first time a few months ago. But from browsing the Jonmartin (and teaholding and jmart) tag regularly, it seems to me like most jonmartin shippers fall into one of these two categories:

They would find each other in every universe; or

It's a miracle they even got together in this universe

(Obviously, that's an oversimplification, and people who express one view in one post can easily hold a different view at another time - these are fictional characters we're talking about after all, and headcanons don't need to be consistent and can even contradict each other. This is just the general vibe I got so far.)

Anyway, I wanted to add my own two cents on the topic, because while I understand where both of these views are coming from, I think neither of them is ultimately correct.

(Putting the rest under a read more - be warned that this is NOT a spoiler-free post, so if you haven't finished listening to TMA yet and you want a spoiler-free experience, you probably shouldn't read this.)

So, before we get to my own opinion, let's first look at where the two options I mentioned above come from, shall we?

"They would find each other in every universe"

Obviously, this view is highly romantic - star-crossed lovers, finding each other again and again. It is both a good foundational basis for AUs, and a ray of hope in the face of the tragedy that is the tma finale.

Of course, concerning the finale, this is a rather different take than concerning AUs (since it would mean the very same characters finding each other again in a different world, not fundamentally different characters, shaped by said other world, also finding each other). And maybe when people express this view, they mean more the finale fix-its than AUs, though I suspect that plenty of people mean both.

It's a nice, comforting thought. And don't we all need some comfort after the finale? Yes, we certainly do. (Except for the people who read only hurt without comfort and angst, I guess. You do you, and I'm glad you're having fun, but personally I do desperately need some comfort, lmao.)

Is this view supported by canon though?

Cynical minds would say no, and personally I'm more inclined to agree with them, though as I've said, for me the truth lies outside of those two rigid stances (somewhere in between, I suppose).

I don't see much in canon which points to Jon and Martin falling in love under any circumstances/in any universe, especially considering their... let's say difficult relationships at the start of the show. But of course we must also take into account the specific circumstances in canon (more on that below) and interpretations vary, and I do very much enjoy AUs, so I'm certainly not trying to throw shade if you're on this side of the 'divide'.

Mostly, I think there CAN be other circumstances in which those two get together, outside the canon ones. (I'm writing a canon-divergent jonmartin fic myself, lol.) Let's get into that while we look at the other view, shall we.

"It's a miracle they even got together in this one"

Ah, the Martin-approved stance. One could say 'well, they literally said it in canon' and be done with it. However, that would require us to believe that the opinions of the characters are always true and correct, which. Lmao. We only have to listen to season 2 of tma to know that this is very much not the case.

And even if S5 Martin is not S2 Jon at the height of his paranoia, he's still very much a man shaped by his own life and experiences. I'm sure he would call himself a realist, but he honestly seems more like a pessimist to me. Which is understandable, given his life, and his association with the Lonely, which has often been (in my opinion accurately) compared to depression.

The thing is, Jon did treat Martin horribly in S1, and then he admittedly treated everyone horribly in S2. It was only in the course of S3 that their relationship got more, let's say, equal, with Jon no longer thinking Martin would be 'contributing nothing but delays'. (And then of course we have S4, which I LOVE even though it hurts me deeply. Then again, that's the whole show. And, obviously, S5 my beloved.)

So. Jon seemed to hate Martin in S1, while Martin was arguably already in love with the man. (Arguably. We do know that he acted catty to Basira in S2, so it's reasonable to assume that he started liking him at some point in S1, or even before the show started.) Then a lot of traumatic things happened, and they got together.

This means it must be the traumatic things that made them compatible, right? Just like Martin says in S5?

Well, one could see it that way. Jon certainly changed over the seasons, coming off his high horse and such. (In S5, he arguably gets back on it quite a bit, but then he IS the Eye's specialest little princess in a world that's literally ruled by it. And also he is slowly losing his grip on his own humanity. But I digress.)

And I do think that the trauma channeled a lot of those changes - the first time we see Jon being actually emotionally open (something he still struggles with over all seasons, because people don't just change fundamentally that quickly) is during Prentiss' attack on the Institute. They're in a situation where they might reasonably die (they even expect it, because they don't know that Elias is just rubbing his greedy little paws as he waits for things to get worse before he saves them with the gas).

I do think that moment could have been a big turning point for Jon and Martin, if it hadn't been immediately followed with the discovery of Gertrude's body, and Jon's subsequent descent into paranoia. Jon opened up, and also saw that Martin was rather competent during the attack, which could have led to them becoming closer, respectively having at least something like a normal work relationship.

But then Jon got paranoid and interpreted everything he saw negatively, including Martin's competence, which was twisted in his mind to 'What if he's just been pretending to be incompetent and is actually an evil agent out to kill the archivist'.

(Big sigh.)

Anyway, before I lose myself in the red string as well: Yes, Jon seems to 'mellow' over the seasons, especially with regard to Martin, at the same time that he's going through terribly traumatic events.

But does that mean that it's actually the trauma that's changing him and his relationships? Partly, certainly, but I would argue that trauma doesn't make you nicer or kinder. It might make you realise some things, but that doesn't mean that you can't realise those things in other ways.

And does it means that they couldn't have come together if they had met under different circumstances? Also not necessarily! I would even argue that the specific circumstances they met under were detrimental to Jon's first impression of Martin. And yes, this goes beyond the dog story.

So let's try and dissect their relationship from the start.

A theory of... something like nuance, or whatever

The starting situation

(Yes, I did have to use a Supernatural gif, thank you for asking. No, I will not apologise. <3)

Alright. So let's start with what we actually know about Jon and Martin's first meeting. Obviously, there's the dog story, though as far as I know that's not 'canon' because it wasn't actually in the podcast. I still like it, and think it adds another reason to Jon's behaviour, though I don't necessarily think it's necessary, because Jon already had lots of other reasons to tell himself that Martin wasn't worth his time.

1.1. Jon has issues. More at 11.

First of all, we learn throughout the podcast that Jon doesn't actually have any qualifications to lead an archive. He's probably 29 when the show starts (in 2016, going by the fandom wiki stating that he was born in 1987, which is reasonable given everything we learn about his age).

So, he's 29 and suddenly appointed, after four years of working in one department, to become the head of a completely different department. He does not have a degree that would give him credentials for leading an archive, nor are we told that he has ever even worked in an archive. For all we know, and that he knows, he is woefully underqualified. (This is also, I think, highlighted in S2 when Jon threatens to resign, only to then be baffled by Elias saying that he would be difficult to replace. Elias means something completely different than his skill set as an archivist with a lower case 'a', presumably, but then Jon doesn't know that.)

This means that Jon is in a highly stressful position, because he's trying to do a job he doesn't actually know how to do, while also trying not to let on that he doesn't know how to do it!

It doesn't help that Jon is also terribly scared of what all might be lurking in the shadows (or even in the light), as he himself admits during the Prentiss attack. He is extremely high-strung from day one, basically a wet chihuahua shaking in a slight breeze, while trying to seem like a strong bulldog.

We also know that Jon asked for two people to be his assistants: Tim and Sasha. They both worked in research, and Sasha also briefly worked in artefact storage, making them both qualified to help Jon with following up on statements. But I think more than their qualifications, Jon probably requested them because he knew and got along with them.

Imagine: Your boss tells you that he's promoting you into a position you're not qualified for and which you have no real clue how to do. Wouldn't you rather have people around you who you're already friendly with, and who are likely to cut you some slack if you're not perfect on day one? I know I would!

1.2. Elias is a little shit and I want to kill him with hammers (affectionately)

And then Elias transfers Martin.

I'm going off the dog story again, because again, I like it, and I think it does fit neatly into canon. If this story is to be believed, Elias neither asked nor did he tell Jon that he was giving him another assistant. He apparently simply told Martin 'you work at the archives now, congratulations' and then went back to his office to smile smugly to himself.

This is a VERY bad start for a working relationship, because not only does Martin come in unannounced, this also comes off as Elias not respecting Jon, or potentially even sending someone to report back to Elias (because Martin is the only one who doesn't have an established rapport with Jon).

Jon never verbalises this suspicion, so maybe this is too much interpretation on my part, but in any case it's cause for a lot of resentment on Jon's part, and since he can't exactly let it out on Elias (who is rarely there, anyway), he simply lets it out on Martin.

He finds reasons to do so, of course, insulting his work and all that. It's probably easy, especially in the beginning, because not unlike Jon, Martin doesn't have any qualifications to work in an archive! He worked at the library before, and we know that his degree is made up (which we can only assume Elias knows, considering he can know almost anything).

(I actually find the question on why Elias transferred Martin in the first place extremely interesting, and might get into that in another post. But this one is already too long, lmao.)

1.3. Martin is too nice, aka Jon has even more issues

This is mostly my personal headcanon, though I do feel it fits Jon's character - which is that he doesn't know how to deal with nice people.

Not kind people. Not friendly people. But nice people.

People who do things seemingly out of the mere goodness of their heart. Like bringing their mean boss tea when he never asked them to do that. Like being friendly even in the face of insults. Someone who constantly takes himself back in favour of other people and their opinions.

People like Martin is appearing to be. Appearing, because Martin isn't actually like that. He does have his opinions, and he could probably grumble up a storm in S1 about Jon, but Jon is his BOSS, and so he plays.

Martin also IS genuinely a nice person most of the time (when he's not on a revenge rampage, making his boyfriend murder people). He doesn't have to do nice things for Jon like bring him tea in S2. But he does. Because that's Martin's way of trying to reach out, to show other people that he means no harm (and that he can be useful).

(I also think that Jon's snappish behaviour, where Martin never quite knows what will set the man off, might remind him off his mum, but again I digress. :))

But I think Jon doesn't know how to deal with that, because even when he's not in the height of paranoia, he still suspects that people who are THAT nice (especially when they have no reason to be nice because he's being an arsehole to them) have a secret agenda. This is playing into what I said under 2 (the part that might be too much interpretation on my side lol), because if Jon suspects that Martin is reporting back to Elias, or is at least someone who would not be friendly if he found out that Jon doesn't know what he's doing, then he can't allow himself to relax around him, and he certainly can't allow himself to be lulled into false security (as Jon would think) around him.

Tl;dr on this point: I think Jon is wary of Martin's niceness because he thinks he might be fishing for gossip/anything he can use against Jon. And even if he isn't, Jon thinks he would be likely to use anything he learns against Jon, because they weren't friends to begin with, and Jon's behaviour has made them anything but that.

(We have to remember that this is the guy who says in S2 that he knows what it's like to 'lack the respect of one's peers', aka the kid who got bullied by at least one older kid, and likely had no or very few friends - plus he believes in the supernatural, which doesn't exactly lend itself well to getting academic respect.)

1.4. They were fucked from the start, your honour

Basically what the meme says, but yeah. The they were put in practically guaranteed that Jon would be wary of Martin, and that Martin would be trying extra hard to make friends with him, which in turn would make Jon even more wary/hostile.

And Elias made it worse, either knowingly or by negligence (not telling Jon about transferring Martin).

If we add the whole dog story to it... they were fucked. I do actually wonder if, assuming we take the dog story as canon, Elias actually somehow managed to set that up. Or whether he was at least cackling (sorry, smiling ever so silently, but smugly) in his office as it happened, or whenever he ended up knowing that it happened.

2. Yes, we've had one starting point, but what about second starting point?

As we have established above, the starting situation for Jon and Martin was... not ideal. So, would they have gotten together easily given a different starting point, like in a cute coffee shop AU?

Eh.

It's true that the specific situation they were in made it a lot harder for them to actually communicate and see each other as they are than it had to be. That doesn't mean that a different situation would have made it easy, though.

Their personalities still make it hard, though, as even without the added stress of a new job, Jon is still a little chihuahua shaking in the corner, who tries to make up for it by barking at everyone, and Martin is still the guy trying to approach him with treats and getting his hand bitten.

There are certainly specific situation that could make it easier, especially if Jon isn't scared as hell, and has maybe already learned that not everyone who does something nice for him wants to just pull on his strings. (Yes, I do think that the thing that makes Martin, according to Annabelle, suited for the Web, is the thing that put Jon on edge at the beginning. I don't know if this was intended at all, but it makes me cackle.)

The beauty of fanfic is that we can do whatever the hell we want. But I think the most fun thing an AU author can do is think 'What would have to happen, in this specific scenario, for these two to get over themselves and get together?'

Excursion: Martin, my beloved depressed blorbo who I am certainly not projecting on, haha

Because it IS both of them who need to get over themselves. Of course Jon's issues are the most obvious, and I've certainly expanded on them enough. But Martin also has a problem, and it's that he's constantly hiding his true feelings and opinions, especially anger and fear.

That makes sense, perhaps, in a workplace, though considering he's dealing with a walking, talking worm hive and a stalker boss... Let's just say it probably would have helped Tim, too, if Martin hadn't been so desperate to make everyone be friends again.

Because Martin is always TRYING to make everything better for everyone, but he's actually not helping anyone. Being nice to Jon and bringing him tea doesn't help battle his paranoia. And trying to tell Tim not to be so angry at Jon, and can't they all be friends, doesn't actually help Tim with his anger.

All Martin is essentially doing is making himself small and saying 'let's get along, pretty please' every now and then. I don't know if it would have helped if he had expressed his own fears and anger, and maybe Jon would have misconstrued that as well, too deep in his paranoia already. But at least Tim might have realised that he was not alone in all this. (His biggest problem, as he says in S2, is that he feels that no one has his back, which I think at least partly results from no one expressing the same anger, aka no one validating his feelings.)

Anyway! (Jon voice) Excursion ends.

3. (To the melody of 'What shall we do with the drunken sailor') What shall we do with these total idiots?

So, how ARE these two going to get together, if they're so woefully unequipped to deal with each other?

Well, first we need to give Martin a good helping of self-confidence. Then we need to kind of give Jon the same, since his problem ALSO is that he's unsure of himself, he just tries to make other people small to cover it up, instead of making himself small. (And isn't that a funny thing to do for someone who we know was bullied. To become a bully himself. Oh, the snake, biting its own tail...)

The easy answer is, of course: You can come up with your own version, get creative. <3

The more complex answer is: A lot of stuff, probably. Jon and Martin will certainly need time to get to know each other, and of course it depends on what situation you put them in to start. But there will be misunderstandings, and there will be hurt feelings, and I am going to soak it up all like a particularly slowburn-greedy sponge.

I feel like there are probably five million ways to get them together, and some might be cute and fluffy (if they go to therapy first, I guess, lol) and many will be full of tears. <3 (Jon voice) And I want to see them all on my desk by Friday! So get to it!

In all seriousness though, yeah, I think there's not one right way for them to get together (though canon did it well imo). But it's also a little more complex than we might give it credit to (very much including me).

4. So what now?

I don't know. I'm not your dad. Write a fic. Draw a picture. Put down your own thoughts on the matter. Or take a shower and clean up your room, young Padawan!

(Though actually, if you've read this post from start to finish in one session, what you should probably do is get up and stretch and get some water.)

And above all! And this is imperative.

Have a good day. <3

[kiyomitakada]

Speaking of in-universe RPF I think it would be funny if a handful of true crime nerds at To-oh started the rumor that the Wara Ningyo killer faked his death (I mean come on, Hideki Ryuga? Does he really think anyone will buy that????)

oh my god. wait. that's brilliant, we know for sure beyond's face was released at least to the police and probably to the press because light's the one who killed him and you need both a face and a name for that. oh my god. okay wait canon divergence:

misa never shows up on campus that day so the weird fraught L-and-light fake-ish friendship at to-oh continues

they both refuse to sign up for the tennis club because they don't have time but they continue to play tennis with each other on school courts regularly

the tennis captain is like (seething) they aren't allowed to use our courts but everyone loves watching their games so i can't kick them out. and no one else on our team is as good as them. i wish i could strangle these people

meanwhile kyoko (the girl with a crush on L) is waxing poetic about hideki ryuga to her friend one day and shows them a picture and the friend is like. …………… kyoko. girl. i think that is a serial killer.

kyoko is like OMG HOW DID I NOT RECOGNIZE HIM (<- is also a true crime nerd)

she talks about this to her friends, some of whom are true crime-pilled enough to talk about this to their friends, etc., and this is how The Wara Ningyo Killer Faked His Death rumor begins

the tennis captain catches word of this from one of the teammates

"are you telling me," captain yasunaga says very slowly, "that the weirdo playing perfect tennis in jeans and long sleeves on our tennis court has murdered three people."

"captain, we have to report this to the police!"

"no, they'll never believe us. i knew there was a reason we couldn't find anything about him online… we're doing this the hard way."

the next day a different tennis team member approaches light like hiii yagami… i know you probably don't know me ("sorry, i really don't") but we wanted to know more about your friend… is hideki ryuga really his real name…?

light, going full overthinker mode before snapping out of it: YEAH HAHA TOTALLY OF COURSE IT IS IVE NEVER HAD ANY DOUBTS

yasunaga later: damn it! yagami's in on it too! i bet they're going to start killing us next!

this is my proposal for the oft-discussed premise Death Note: Sports Anime But They're Still Running From The Police

[marinettesaltprompts]

Selfish Wishing

TLDR: Canon Divergence; Marinette ends up making the wish. She wakes up in a world where she lives alone in New York, isn't Ladybug, and still isn't dating Adrien!! When she decides to check her phone to see what's going on in Paris, she sees that more changed than she realized. She thought this was her wish, her dream come true, so why did it feel like, besides the whole New York thing, nothing changed??

Marinette knew the dangers of making the wish. That there would be a cost. That Chat Noir trusted her to use his miraculous to end Monarch.

But...she can't help but want to make a wish herself.

Rewrite the universe to be how she wanted.

She'd have loyal friends who backed her up no matter what.

She'd be less clumsy and late to things.

She'd be amongst the youngest fashion designers known.

She'd have everything her way.

No Chloe or Lila in her way.

No Chat Noir to coddle.

No Monarch to fight.

The next moment went by quickly, before she could stop herself, before Plagg and Tikki could talk her out of it, she did it.

She made her wish.

"I wish...I wish to live the life I want!! The life of a normal girl who had her dream come true!!!"

The world goes dark and with it, Marinette collapses.

-----------------

Marinette groans as she wakes up. She can't remember going to sleep.

As she wakes up more, she panics. This isn't her room. Her earrings are gone. She's...not in Paris??

Confused, Marinette grabs her phone.

She spends the next hour scrolling and scrolling as what happened returns to her. She made the wish, but she thought she would be in Paris, with her family and friends and Adrien...

A sigh. More scrolling.

Her parents posted something recently about closing the bakery at a certain date in order to visit Marinette in New York, thanking the Style Queen for helping her reach her dreams.

The Ladyblog isn't around, rather the MiracuLog was being run. And it wasn't being run Alya, but... Adrien and Felix?!

She went to the blog's bio, which simply said: Welcome to the MiracuLog!! We're here to keep you informed on all things MIRACULOUS!! From our heroes, Carmine and Jinx, to our big bad, and self proclaimed king, Emperor!!

This blog is run by me and my older twin brother!! Thank you for supporting us, and we will continue to keep you updated!! - Adrien GdV :3

Marinette blinked and looked through the blog.

She recognized some Akumas, but not all of them. Lady Wifi, Evillustrator, Princess Fragrance, Dark Cupid were amongst the ones she recognized.

But...who was Blood Beetle? Phantom? Miss Anonymous? Porcelain Doll? Puppeteer? Scary Godmother? Lilith?

She didn't recognize any of them, and there were no names attached!! How was she supposed to know who was akumatized if their names aren't there?!

Marinette looked at an earlier Q&A post, which answered her own question.

Hi, Adrien! Hi, Felix! I wanted to know why you don't name people who were akumatized!! Don't you think it'd be better if we knew in case they get akumatized again? Thank you for answering!! -inamedmykittenjinx

Hello!! While, yes, it might be better, I don't believe we should put that onto anyone's shoulders. I want everyone to go by as normally as they can without someone leading them to this blog just to ask them about their akumatization. We all deserve some privacy. - adrien.

What my brother means is, we think it could do more damage if we out akuma victims. I say this as someone who's been akumatized before. I wish for no one to know who I was as an akuma. Remember, anyone can be akumatized. Anyone. Gender, age, citizen or tourist, none of that matters to Emperor. We don't need the reminder that we got taken advantage of by that man. - felix

thank you for answering!! I think I understand. some akumas have seemed to be pretty young, so I can see why you decided to keep Akuma victims anonymous. -inamedmykittenjinx

No problem!! :) Sometimes people will still recognize the akumatized victim and spam our inbox with their name and job or school and other info that we just don't need. It's why we don't accept anonymous questions and submissions anymore. - adrien

PEOPLE ARE DOXXING AKUMA VICTIMS?! -carminered98

Why?? Do people not have anything better to do??? -emperorshouldofusedmonarchtbh

like, I get it if the akuma victim is still an asshole. but the majority of akuma victims are people who lost their jobs, are or were grieving, kids who've been bullied, etc. It makes me so mad!!! -emperorshouldofusedmonarchtbh

Marinette rolled her eyes as she moved past the thread. Back when she was Ladybug, no one cared about privacy. It was stupid of Adrien and Felix to prioritize the akumas anonymity. It would be better to just name them.

She eventually saw a post dedicated to Carmine and Jinx.

She had no idea who they were.

Carmine was the current ladybug. He was a male with deep red, almost black, hair. His outfit reminded her somewhat of Mister Bug's. But that might just because that's the only male ladybug costume she's seen.

Jinx was the current black cat. She was a female. Her hair was long and in a low ponytail. Her costume didn't look like hers when she was Lady Noire or like Kitty Noire's.

She was surprised to read that the two knew each others identity and were still going strong as a team. They were family as well.

Why would they do that?? Did Master Fu know?! So what if they're family!! If she were the Guardian still, she'd take their miraculous.

Frustrated, Marinette kept scrolling.

The temp. heroes caught her eyes.

They were...different. They weren't her friends. Or maybe they were, but she can't tell??

Lupine, Athena, Alopex, who are these people??

She quickly left the blog, not wanting to see anymore.

-----------------

Marinette groaned as more and more of her designs were sent back to her. Audrey was a strict boss. Her notes about Marinette's designs stung.

Especially when she sees the woman expressing her disappointment because Marinette had been so good.

She was trying!! Her designs were liked in her old world. She was MDC!!! But no one cares about MDC here.

Sighing, Marinette pulled her phone out. Maybe something in Paris would inspire her?

She checks her socials. Nothing.

She had sent friend requests to her old friends, but none of them had accepted her yet.

Some, like Luka and Marc, politely asked her to not send a request. They were only accepting friend requests from people they knew in person.

She thought things would be different.

She thought she'd still have her friends.

That she'd be home.

That she'd be Adrien's girlfriend.

She wanted her dream to come true.

She glared at her phone, the MiracuLog open and staring back at her.

What happened?? Was her wish not specific enough???

She asked around, but no one's heard of Gabriel Agreste. When she looked him up, nothing came up. He didn't exist. It would explain why Adrien is a Graham de Vanilly and not an Agreste.

When she stalked looked through Adrien's socials, she saw that he had a hobby in photography, sometimes his posts had two images. One of a photo he took and the other of a sketch made by his girlfriend, Kagami.

It wasn't fair!! In both worlds, Adrien dates Kagami. And unlike the last one, here they're still dating.

She hates that the two look happy and in love. That Kagami is in her rightful spot. She should have been next to him, not her!!

To make things worse, she also checked out Luka's socials, which is where she learned he was dating Felix. Of all people, he chooses Felix?!

What about her??? She was nice when she sent sent a friend request. She'd eventually visit Paris again.

It's not fair!!

-----------------

Marinette didn't know where things went wrong.

Was her wish not specific enough?? Did it not work??

She tried so hard to make things go her way.

Her designs were rejected.

She was kept back in class and berated.

She had no friends in either school or work.

People said she changed but she didn't!!

Why??

Why did the wish give her this??

She just wanted everything she always wanted...

Additional Info:

• Carmine is Luka and Jinx is Juleka. Master Fu definitely knows they know each other. He doesn't mind that much because he knows he chose siblings. Not his intention tbh, but they work well together.

• Lupine is Adrien with the bee, Athena is the name of the horse miraculous user, haven't decided who yet, might go with Sabrina??, and Alopex is the fox miraculous user and I'm leaning towards Nathaniel for that (:

• One of the things that changes in this is Adrien and Felix's relationship. Rather than being cousins, the boys are twins. Still sentimonsters, but Emilie made both of them. To this day, the peacock miraculous and the Grimoire is still in their possession.

• Emperor is Colt Fathom in this world. He wants to use the wish to ensure Amelie marries him because she left him before he could even propose, claiming he was possessive and not the man she wanted to marry.

• Colt got the butterfly miraculous from a vendor who found it. He was going to gift it to Amelie but she ended up leaving him. He was going to chuck the brooch into the Siene when Nooroo was finally released. When he learned about the miraculous, he decided to make his wish come true.

• Emelie and "Gabriel" never met. Emilie spent most of her time caring for her sister or talking with her friends, André and Nathalie.

• As a result of getting the life she wants, Gabriel ends up losing the life he had. Rather than be a rich and famous fashion designer that's secretly a villain, he's still Gabi Grassette. He ends up as a homeless man who lost everything. He's not really relevant here, so....¯\_(ツ)_/¯

• Because part of her dream is to get with Adrien Agreste, the model, and how the wish ended up for Marinette, she doesn't end up with him.

• The MiracuLog is run by Adrien and Felix. Adrien takes photos and captures footage, while Felix writes and edits. The two strive to keep their blog safe for everyone. And unlike the Ladyblog, the MiracuLog focuses on all the miraculous and it's users. They don't chase after Carmine and/or Jinx and demand interviews, nor do they take interviews with anyone unless they specifically think it would be benificial, such as interviewing a therapist for advice on how to handle stress and anxiety, or the mayor about the free therapy for akuma victims where they can come in and talk to someone, with the reassurance they won't be outed.

• Because they got so many messages doxxing people who were Akumatized, the twins changed their system to only accept official accounts on their blog. It doesn't stop it, but it becomes less of a hassle. Accounts that continue doing it get a warning, if they continue they get suspended, and if they still continue their account gets blacklisted and blocked, if it isn't outright deleted.

• A lot of Marinette's views about akumas puts a wall between her and her old "friends." She's used to things being different, so them doing things such as keeping akumas real names private, not wanting to discover who Carmine and Jinx are, raising money in order to help akuma victims, etc., feels wrong. And when she tries to say so, she's told to back off and stay in her lane.

• While she does have a job as an intern for Audrey, she also goes to school in NY, very specifically a fashion school.

• As much as I would have liked a more dramatic take on Marinette's wish ending badly, I like the idea of "everything remained just about the same but here's what's different" just as much.

Marinette becomes a normal girl who got the opportunity she always wanted and is living in NY as the Style Queen's intern.

Audrey noticed her but she never noticed Gabi, so Gabriel Agreste doesn't exist.

Because Gabriel Agreste doesn't exist, Adrien was made alongside Felix by Emilie who is a single mother with Amelie as their aunt and Nathalie as a potential second mom. Had Gabriel Agreste still exhisted, her wish of dating Adrien would have come true.

• I mean, diverging from this prompt, ^ that relationship would have ended quickly. The wish wouldn't make Adrien her boyfriend and have him stay her boyfriend. And her new personality and obsessive behavior would be a sign to end things.

• Marinette, technically, did have friends in NY (such as Jessica and Zoe). But her sudden change in personality pushed them away. She was becoming obsessed with Paris, Adrien and the Parisian heroes, and they wanted their old friend who complained about work, but also gushed about how Audrey was considering helping her debut as a fashion designer, back. This isn't the Marinette they know.

This could have been better, but I had to get the idea out of my head, so if it's confusing, sorry? (^^;

[a-fic-reviewer-757]

the cost of being a good dad:

by: Mawiiish | word count : 96,533 | AO3 | chapters: 10/10 | rating : Teen And Up Audiences

Summary:

Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian are all tired of watching Bruce struggle with the stress of trying to handle the newly formed Justice League. He needs an outlet, he needs to relax, he needs to get out of the house, he needs... he needs to start dating. And what he doesn't know won't hurt him, right?

--

“Excuse me, I don’t know who you think I am, but I think there’s been a mistake.”

“Bruce, right?” the guy says, albeit less confidently this time. He looks slightly concerned and if Bruce is not mistaken… a tad embarrassed. “Bruce Wayne? You look just like your pictures.”

“My pictures?” Something finally clicks in Bruce’s mind, and he takes a small step back and plasters a smile on his face as to not rouse suspicion. Stalker. “Ah, of course, I’m sorry but I’m late for an appointment.”

Tags :

superbat - Freeform l Online Dating l Catfishing l Blind Datebat boys wanting their dad to be happy l Flirting l Bickering l Bad Pick-Up Lines l the boys are menaces l Bruce Wayne is So Done l Bruce Wayne is tired l Clark Kent is being catfished l Misunderstandings l POV Multiple l Getting Together l Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence l Dialogue Heavy l there's a lot of bat family dynamics as wellI l Identity Porn l Identity Reveal l Angst with a Happy Ending l Hurt Bruce Wayne l emotional and physical Hurt Bruce Wayne l Jason Todd Feels l First Kiss l Bruce Wayne is Bad at Feelings

Review : 💜💜💜💜💜

Frankly, I have to say this is one of the funniest fics I've read in a while — what a way to start the year with a bang! Superbat is one of my favorite couples, but it's rare for me to find a fic where I truly enjoy how both characters are portrayed. This one nailed it. The story captures their nuances perfectly — Clark’s gentleness and kindness tempered by his immense alien strength, and Bruce’s struggles with self-image and paranoia. The balance between them felt authentic and compelling. The fic had its highs and it s even higher moments, and the ending didn’t feel forced at all, which is such a win in my books. The sequel is also fantastic, and I’m waiting with so much anticipation to see if the author writes more in this universe. I know I’d absolutely love it. With the recent surge in Superbat content, this is a fic I’d definitely recommend to any fan of the ship.

[beri-allen]

I Once Was Lost, But Now I’m Found (5878 words)

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Star Wars: The Acolyte (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Osha Aniseya/Qimir | The Stranger Characters: Osha Aniseya, Qimir | The Stranger (Star Wars), Yord Fandar, Sol the Jedi (Star Wars) Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Behavior, Padawan Osha Aniseya, Winter Solstice, Christmas Horror, Qimir is a Krampus-like Creature, He's Qrampus. Get it? Haha. Ha., Character Study, Self-Worth Issues, Self-Deprecating Osha Aniseya, Manipulation, Seduction to the Dark Side, Very Minor Yord Bashing, I Wrote This Instead of Going to Therapy, no beta we die like yord

Summary: With her command of the Force waning, Padawan Osha Aniseya has much to prove to the Jedi Council. Osha feels the need to go above and beyond to show the Order that she's still useful to them. An opportunity arises during Solstice when she's assigned to accompany Qimir, a guest at the Temple, who seems to know her more than anyone—and have a lot to say about the Jedi and their rules. Meanwhile, the Temple rings with whispers about a Solstice creature that hunts and captures wicked Jedi.   A (belated) Christmas story.

notes: *(i know I've posted about this fic before and i'm sorry about that, but i have this moodboard that i never got to post because i was in a hurry, and then yesterday, i just remembered the quote/song title that could go perfectly well with it, so i added it and i thought i shared it because i made it already, anyway)

[edgeofn1ght]

Anakin was looking forward to sleeping in his bed. Or Obi-Wan's bed. He was so exhausted it didn't really matter at this point -- he just wanted to sleep. His report to the Council thankfully took less time than he had expected, which was helped a bit by the absence of about half the members. Most notably, Obi-Wan himself. Anakin couldn't remember Obi-Wan saying he was going to be off-world when he returned, and it was very unlike him to miss a meeting if he was in the Temple.

Maybe he was at Dex's. Or maybe he had an errand somewhere else on Coruscant.

Or maybe sick or injured in the Halls of Healing. But surely the Council would have mention--

Anakin was pulled from his spiraling thoughts when a hand reached out and grabbed the voluminous sleeve of his brown cloak, pulling him behind one of the large marble columns in the Temple's great hall. Before he even knew what was happening, a pair of warm, chapped lips were being pressed against his, soft hair tickling his upper lip.

Obi-Wan pulled back, a small grin on his face and a twinkle in his blue eyes. Anakin couldn't help but return the grin.

"Master! What--"

"Hello there," he replied quietly, cupping Anakin's face in his large hands and nuzzling his cheek.

Anakin's eyes darted back and forth, looking for any fellow Jedi. It was a huge -- and surprising -- risk for Obi-Wan to take. "But master, anyone can see out here."

Obi-Wan kissed him again, then backed away reluctantly. "Yes, you're right." He straightened Anakin's cloak then his own tunic.

"What's gotten into you, Obi-Wan?" Anakin asked. He was hesitant to ask in case Obi-Wan suddenly closed himself off out of shame or guilt.

"I just missed you, that's all." He smiled, eyes softening at the corners.

If it hadn't been for the pair of younglings who walked by just then, he would have grabbed Obi-Wan himself and kissed those wrinkles he loved so well.

"I missed you, too," he smiled.

"But I'm sure you're tired," Obi-Wan said, putting a hand on Anakin's elbow to lead him away. "You can come sleep in my bed, undisturbed. I just have some reports to write up which I can do in the living area."

Sleep sounded nice, but Obi-Wan always sounded nicer. "Maybe you can disturb me a little bit... then work on your reports."

Obi-Wan chuckled as he walked faster, "Well, then we must not waste any more time."

[captaincrowe]

Anyway, after watching the Wicked movie again, I think my ideal outcome of the love triangle in a canon divergence scenario is "Gelphie and their free-range boytoy Fiyero who comes and goes as he pleases."

[narcissisticpotat0]

Just some recent 3rd life desert duo <3 cause they’ll always be my faves :((

I made these cause I wanted them as wallpapers for myself… but I’ll share ig /j.

Hope you like it!

[nevertheless-moving]

Stormlight AU #3 (Kalarin Rumors): Chapter 7 Part 2

Chapter One Premise Outlined Here

"Captain? Can we speak for a moment?"

"Of course," Captain Kaladin said, not looking up from the indecipherable chart of messy glyphs, laid atop a pile of those like it. “Just let me finish — Sigzil what about seventeenth—” Teft sighed, leaning against the door and idly picking at his fingers. A few minutes later the two managed to finish their conversation. The worldsinger gave Teft a sympathetic look and a pat on the shoulder as he passed by on the way out.

Teft felt he deserved more than that for what he was about to do.

He stepped into the Captain's private room, which functioned more like an office for how often he actually slept, closing the door behind him.

Best to get it over with. Teft squared his shoulders.

"I was hoping to talk to you about... whatever's going on with you and Prince Renarin." 

Kaladin blew out a heavy breath, leaning back against the desk. To his credit, he didn’t look embarrassed, so much as resigned. "Alright. Yes, we guessed that figured that you all had... noticed something."

"You could say that," Teft said carefully. Hard not to notice when you come back from private ‘training’ wearing each others shirts. Idiots.

The captain scrubbed a hand across his face. "Give me until tonight, alright? I'm pretty sure Renarin is about ready to talk openly with everyone."

"Uh," Teft said, face screwing up, a spark of panic rising from beneath the awkwardness. "Storms lad, I wasn't suggesting you make an announcement… we're just worried about the lighteyes noticing something. Prince Adolin basically walked in on the two of you, doing..." he coughed into his hand. "Whatever you were doing."

"I appreciate your concern," Kaladin said. "Truly, I can’t tell you how grateful I am for the tremendous loyalty you've all shown, covering for us without asking questions. Not to mention how much of an effort you've made to include him in the crew." 

"He's... a decent kid. For a lighteyes," Teft said begrudgingly. "And, well. We've all noticed you've been, uh. Sleeping better. Which...storms he could be a lot more annoying and we'd probably still teach him cards, for your sake, you have to know that."

"He really is a good person," Kaladin said, looking slightly defensive.

"Of course," Teft agreed quickly.

"And he's hardly a kid. He’s barely a few months younger than me."

"You're a decent kid, too," he said, smoothing his expression with long practice. Storms really? I knew you were young but... the prince was nineteen, wasn't he? Blood of my fathers, I’ve been following a teenager. Well. At least this makes a bit more sense now, Almighty help us all.

"I'll go check with Renarin, but do you think we might be able to get the men to meet inside tonight, after dinner shifts are over? I'd rather not risk being overheard by any of the other crews, and it would be easiest if we could talk with everyone off duty all at the same time.” Kaladin scratched his chin, looking down at the pages. “Actually, if we make a few switches, if Lopen’s cousins and the old guard agree…could probably get most of the original bridge off for the evening."

"Jezrian's crown,” he whispered. “So it's… so it’s serious then?" Of course it was. When did you do anything not seriously. Stormfather, what were they going to announce? It’s been less than two weeks!

"You could say that." 

Teft looked to the sky. Oh, this was going to end in desolation. But the two were young, and had more determination than sense. "Nothing’s ever simple with you, is it lad?" 

Kaladin sighed, then stood, patting Teft on the shoulder as he walked outside.

They found Renarin polishing leathers with Mart and Bisig, all three listening to Lopen tell some story with grand gestures and whole body movements. 

The prince perked up like an axehound pup when the Captain approached. Storms. A lighteyes who acted like a loyal servant, and a darkeyes who acted like a caring lord. Maybe they deserved each other.

The two stepped away, conferring with bowed heads. Mart and Bissig exchanged amused expressions, while Lopen stared, leaning their direction with utter shamelessness.

The brightlord blanched, hands fumbling for his box. Kaladin put a hand on his arm, smiling softly and whispering something. 

Teft turned away, not wanting to see anymore. Damnation, he needed a drink. Kaladin Stormblessed could probably have had any darkeyes he wanted in all of the camps. Nales scar, he probably could have had a fair number of the tenners, maybe even a niner. But no. The ambitious moron had to reach for a third dahn, son of a highprince. Why didn't he just storming try and seduce the king and be done with it?

No. I’m being unfair. Teft groaned, kicking a rock with his nice, black leather boots. Boots he wouldn't have had if it weren't for the captain.

Kaladin was a good man. Maybe some would accuse him of social climbing, but anyone who knew him knew how ridiculous the idea was of him using someone like that. The two morons were in love, or, more likely, having good enough sex that they had convinced themselves it was love.

They should have been more insistent about dragging Kaladin to a brothel. The man just hadn’t seemed interested. In any of it! Not that he had been listening, when they were all living in Sadeas bridgeyard, without the nice privacy shields even Kholin infantryman got but he had never even heard the Captain —

"Teft?" 

He jumped, turning to face the captain guiltily.

The man gave him a slightly curious expression, but didn't ask. 

"Renarin's ready. We'll talk to everyone tonight — those who aren't on evening guard anyway."

"I'll tell the men,” Teft said, resigned. “Some will kick up a fuss about not going out, but they’ll all want to hear."

Kaladin nodded once, then looked past Teft, noticing a sergeant from bridge twelve who was hovering nearby. He walked over to deal with one of his ten ten impossible responsibilities. 

An announcement. Screw a drink, he would deserve something stronger than that after tonight. All he wanted was for the lads to be a bit more discreet. And they had to go and decide to make an announcement. 

They couldn't be planning on getting married, could they? Bad enough he strongly suspected they’d already traded soldier's oaths. It had been what — jez's balls, six days, seven? And it was insane besides, the prince's rank — Almighty's tenth name, what was the prince going to do, resign his position to be with his lover? Disinherit himself? Could he do that? 

…Highprince Dalinar might actually kill the captain. He might kill all of them, while he was at it.

Teft sighed, then went on his own way, spreading the word like a death sentence.