#is it a flaw? yes. is he still doing better than a solid 90% of the cast? also yes

[crossdressingdeath]

I really don't get why people take Will not getting why people would want to live in the Underworld so much worse than every other character's bad opinions on the place. Like... Will has a very pressing, understandable reason for hating the Underworld: it is literally killing him. The place is lethal for him. Of course he doesn't understand why anyone would want to live in a place that is essentially torture for him! He's suffering every second that he's there, of course it takes him a bit to see the good in the place! Will has a justification for his failure to grasp why anyone would ever be happy in the Underworld that no one else in the main cast does, but him hating the place is treated as uniquely bad. Like, yes, he's dating Nico and Nico is clearly upset that his boyfriend doesn't get how he could be happy in a place that was his only home for some time, I'm not claiming that Will's response to the Underworld is good, but he doesn't take the place any worse than anyone else does and he at least learns to see the good in the place in a way no one else ever does. Will is clearly suffering with every second he spends in the Underworld, but him taking a bit to recognize the good parts of it (and eventually coming to accept it more than any other character from the very start of the Riordanverse ever does! Will coming to see the good side of the Underworld and even recognizing that there is genuine beauty there is really good!) is worse than Percy insisting the Underworld brings out the worst in people (with zero evidence beyond it being the site of the one time Nico had a priority other than Percy) or the Seven constantly calling Nico creepy for being intensely traumatized by Tartarus? Come on. Now to be fair it is more noticeable in TSatS than it is in most of the other books since they spend so much time in the Underworld, but Will's actual opinions of the place are no worse than anyone else's, a lot more justified, and he actually learns better in a way basically no one else does.

Like, absolutely that whole subplot could've been handled better. I think there were better ways to have a fun, nuanced discussion about a couple who are in some ways antithetical to each other on a fundamental level, who love each other enough to work through that but naturally run into some snags along the way. And it is a character flaw, although fortunately one that actually gets resolved. But the way I keep seeing people talking about Will not liking the Underworld and not seeing why anyone would want to live there when the Underworld is proving fatal to him just by being there like it's somehow worse than everyone else's responses to the Underworld and to Nico himself as a person when their only justification is "Uhhhhhhhh it's creepy and he's creepy" and most of them (other than Jason and to a lesser extent Reyna who was as far as we see less weird about it to begin with) never change their minds just really pisses me off.

[rollforjackass]

WHOOOOOO MISSION IMPOSSIBLE!!! dead reckoning spoilers under the cut

what mission impossible does in terms of fucking with my PTSD, it makes up for with hot women. amen

VERY funny chase sequences, 2 new characters who pulled their weight in gold from the second they stepped onscreen. the airport scene was immaculate, from luther & benji trying to solve shit on their own and roping ethan in in the most cryptic way possible (the bomb scene with benji broke my fucking heart) to the constant sleight of hand that reminded me of the first movie. kittridge and the white widow's semi-familial relationship was very unexpected and sweet

also, AI AS A VILLAIN!!!!!!! bitch i did not have my brain chemistry rewired by person of interest and a warforged dnd character i made just to not enjoy that. benji's voice being used to misdirect ethan fucked me up in so many ways, and its insistence on stories was very fun because as we all know, there are many different stories out in the world, and many different versions of each one. i loved that pom fulfilled the AI's prophecy that she would betray gabriel NOT BECAUSE OF THE REASON IT THOUGHT, but because it betrayed HER over a possible course she hadn't even taken yet

i AM very worried about benji for the second part, they made a point of showing him on EVERY line of that epilogue that referenced death. "the closer someone is to you, the harder to keep them alive" > benji's face (watching ethan, which says as much about benji as it could foreshadow for ethan); "should your agents be captured or killed" > benji's face. it also showed his face on a line similar to "do it alone", which makes me TERRIFIED that he'll take on the entity in the sevastapol sphere by himself and have to make a grand heroic sacrifice in the process, at which point i'll fill my pockets with stones and toss myself bodily into the nearest lake

that said, dead reckoning might be my least favorite of the franchise, and not just because it was overblown and grandiose and a two-parter. it feels like they saw the john wick movies and went 'That's what the people want', when the reason people love mission impossible in the first place is because of its rock solid ensemble cast and the elaborate deceptions that make it a Spy franchise, not just an Action one.

now the big issue. ilsa my love. i don't think ilsa is actually dead - she simply would Not lose to gabriel, she has been fighting to stay alive every second of her life - but i do think her sacrifice was necessary to get grace on their side. so i think that's a plan that we'll see pay out in the second movie.

but if it's Not a plan and they just killed her like that........girl what the fuck is happening on this day

(also the way that benji reacted to her death, and the way he hid it from the team and slapped the tears away to get back to work, thanks i hate it)

like i won't be generous with the franchise and say it's always done its female characters right - in fact i feel like 90% of the praise i see for characters like jane carter and ilsa faust comes from the fact that we as a fandom scooped them up and said 'you deserve better' and created art and fics and meta that fleshed out the parts of them that weren't created to add sex appeal/romance tom cruise. but the franchise has at least done Better for them than dead reckoning did. they didn't even give pom's character a name, dude (EDIT YES THEY DID I’M A FOOL HER NAME IS PARIS)

i think their problem is that they are Very Very good at creating wonderfully complex and obviously flawed female characters, but when they don't know what to do with them anymore, they fall into a box that says Ethan's Love Interest. and by god i will wrest grace from that box so long as i am breathing i can tell you that

that said, i can see why they made the creative choices that come across to me as bad faith. pom being a nameless henchman but ethan Still goes out of his way to save her life hammers home the ways that humans are different from AI, and how unique ethan is as an agent. grace's name being a random throwaway alias that she is then trapped with bc she keeps being chased by the people she used it with is reminiscent of her stealing the key and then being trapped in an epic struggle she never wanted. even ilsa dying is a way for her to take her story into her own hands: after so long of being treated as dispensable by MI-6 and the syndicate, she is the one who decides when and who she dies for, and why she dies. (even though she's not dead)

anyway, complaints aside, always a fun movie. extremely funny car chase. women are hot. pom klementieff is feral and i adore her. i have thoughts for days and that mission impossible fic i've got going is about to take OFF

[myimaginarywonderland]

Ranking all the scream movies but it's probably highly controversial (expect my number one)

1. Scream (OG)

Nothing beats the OG and no Ghostface will ever come close to Stu/Billy. The combination of these two was literally it. A crazy guy + a dude that wants revenge and goes crazy in the process? Nothing beats them. They are the duo and they're combination that was not only the most iconic but they are also just so great killers. They planned it but their charisma added to the psychotic aura of it all. Not to mention the iconic characters that were in this movie and the relationship that were actually really explored in this.

2. Scream 3

People love to hate this movie but Roman was literally such a great Ghost face. That whole plan? This could easily be even higher but they kind of underdeveloped him a bit and he still is better than almost 90% of the others. I wish we had gotten a meeting or a backstory between him and Syd more and he deserves to be in another movie (besides Stu) because holy shit be was so interesting. Not to mention the solo ghost face? He is quiet literally technically the best ghost face but God was he also such an interesting character. Yeah maybe the movie set wasn't that great but it was so interesting to show how the public would actually realistically treat an event like this. Not to mention it truly also showed how everyone struggled and was not really fully coming to terms with it. This movie was a banger eventhough it had some of the most interesting side characters.

3. Scream 2

Honestly a great movie eventhough there were some cringe scenes. The motive of Miss Loomis? Genuinely solid and reasonable in a fucked up way. Mickey? Icon. Motive didn't really make sense but he popped off so hard.

Only thing that makes this movie bad really are some cringe scenes but then again they fit really well honestly when you consider this is Syd basically catching up on teenage nonsense. Oh and Randy should have survived but I am kind of still a bit weirded out by his character so I am not to saddened by it. Although I would love the plottwist of him being alive and being hidden somewhere to come back with Stu. (I am delulu.)

Would be higher because the story actually slaps but I love Roman way too much to put this higher.

4. Scream 6

I don't like this movie necessarily but there were some really cool sequences and actually interesting storylines plus they developed an actual plotline. Don't like the Ghostfaces in this (probably the least out of all the actual ones in the movies main story line) but actually interesting change up from the usual two ghost faces. Plus some of the shoots were so amazing and no one can deny that. The sequences they did with this really popped off. Are there many flaws? Undoubtedly (the plot armor for Chad is literally unreal and compares to no one in the franchise.) But sometimes I am blinded by the incredible chases they had for this so there's that.

5. Scream 4

Jill and Charlie's are just flat compared to other killers. Charlie sure is a brutal killer but his entire personality is bland to me. I feel like where as in the others at least had something going for them, he just made me feel literally nothing. He invoked no emotion in me and that is literally the worst thing he could do especially when we know how much he actually did as ghost face.

That love thing is also just such a boring excuse for a killer and Jill is just uninteresting to me personally. She was crazy but just in an unejoyable way that I couldn't bother to understand because her motive was bad/boring. Jealousy? Crayzness and fame? It just felt like people have shown different reasons for her but also want to claim she is as crazy as Stu but then she wouldn't need a motive yet people seem to justify her actions by something? It just seems like people like to praise her as the smartest when the reality is that was Roman. Yes she would have been far closer where the others not protected by plot armour but I just had no fun seeing her succeed as the killer where at least the others made me root for them sometimes in a "I want to see what it would be like if they won" kind of way.

I only rate it higher because the fifth movie was for me even more predictable than this one and frankly ass for me.

6. Scream 5

Amber and Richie are just so boring. Genuinely don't get the hype for them. Richie was just weird and had no charisma to him. Dude literally is just a walking red flag. Amber was just some wannabe Stu and people don't want to accept that. Dewey should have survived that movie. His death was literally so unsatisfying and you are telling me that the dude who survived everyone else was overpowered by some wannabe shits. You are giving him that plot armor to take it of not by someone who genuinely could overpower him like Roman, Nancy (a mother with rage has unbelievable strength) or Mickey but Amber or Richie? Please that is the most unrealistic thing.

And I hate the entire Billy's daughter plotline. Not to mention the fact that it is setting up to explore some dark side yet she keeps getting excused for her brutal kills? The way she slaughtered Richie is literally not normal. The OG 3 survivors killed to safe their lives but she is literally doing the same shit her father did. If she just slashed his throat sure but the way she attacked him multiple times? That's not a survivor that's a killer.

And Richie/Amber once again were obvious. Richie literally was weird from the beginning and no one would actually trust him.

There's also the fact that they basically just gave the plot armour to Chad and Sidney surviving this was almost as unrealistic as Scream 4.

This also started this weird family of victims/killer thing (technically it was 4 but this was the true start) something that was just such a bad storyline to me I could not enjoy.

[crystalelemental]

Following the recent Gauntlet, I felt it necessary to update the Common Grid War listings.  There are...a few changes.

Promotions

Shauntal: A -> S.  Okay.  Shauntal rules.  Shadow Ball, on type, has a pretty easy time hitting 5-digit numbers.  Like, an EX Support taking first sync pretty much guarantees it.  Yes, she has some setup concerns, given Special Attack/Crit needs, but her damage output is outrageous, and they did give her an option to help cap crit.  And like...there are no flaws.  Her best comparison is Bruno, who is similarly heavy on DPS.  Except he’s weaker, has accuracy issues that cut into his energy management for grid, and he doesn’t get to build up his speed until after he’s landed multiple crits.  Which, additionally, don’t add up to as much because he’s a lot slower than Shauntal.  And his offensive stats aren’t as high.  And he’s got a max 90% move multiplier, if you can cap his special defense.  Shauntal has +100% basically for free.  Oh, and she ignores Light Screen by default.  Shauntal is ridiculously powerful, in a type that’s becoming fairly competitive.

Marshal: C -> A.  Not a joke.  Marshal’s for real.  The staggering effect is minor, but it honestly puts in crazy work.  Moreover, Drain Punch’s DPS is legitimate, and even without Master Healer, he’s recovering plenty to stay relevant.  Additionally, he’s able to help with debuffing on many teams.  He’s a fairly ideal partner to Maylene in Gauntlet, staggering foes to reduce the pressure she’s under, and softening up opponents for her Drain Punch at the same time.  I really undersold him.

Marlon: C -> B.  While I will be first to note that Marlon’s issues are in his gauge control, the tradeoff is you have a super good defense tank with Endurance applied, and actual pop healing, alongside a fairly unique trait in Team Pinpoint Entry to solve for units like Cyrus and Ghetsis who otherwise are self-sufficient.  I dunno.  This guy feels like he should be more flawed than he is, but every Gauntlet I’m finding some nice utility for him.  It’s pretty great.

Brock and Grant: D -> C.  I have finally lifted these two out of D-rank.  Because 60% flinch rate, on a move that has decent supplementary DPS.  Which would, in theory, put them up with Molayne and Wikstrom.  Except unlike Molayne, they have poor independent gauge manage, and unlike Wikstrom, they can’t do serious big boy damage numbers when so inclined.  Because of this, I put them below Wake, who is comparably sad on sync, but has better gauge control and self setup, even if it’s worse DPS.

Demotions

MU Torchic: S -> A.  While it doesn’t have its grid yet, and therefore cannot be held entirely accountable...I feel confident on this assessment.  Lack of Endurance, lack of First Aid, and mediocre bulk really hinder this thing.  It’s reliant on an ally sustaining it in Gauntlet, and likely won’t survive three buffs in CS without the opponent using their own stat boosters.  It’s still exceptional as one of the best special attack/crit buffers in the game, but unlike the premium options, it has trouble with survival.

Noland: A -> B.  Noland remains fantastic with self-setup, but this is about all I can say on his behalf.  Gauntlet has been very trying with these longer streaks, as Noland can set up reliably, but can’t often deal sufficient damage to make something work.  Bugsy feels noticeably stronger, and it’s kinda holding him back a bit.

Maylene: A -> B.  Maylene, I want to love you.  Atk/Crit buffer with defense drops should be great.  But much like a Valerie/Kali situation, your only real healing is on your attacking move.  You are a support.  You cannot deal damage.  No Endurance, no healing outside of her attack, which is high gauge cost, and her bulk is fairly lacking alongside lower offenses.  Maylene has delightful utility packed in a unit that struggles to survive.

Sophocles: B -> C.  Sophocles, as a flinch bot, is solid.  Endurance is great for a last-second survival, and flinch is always valuable.  I think my problem is that, unlike the higher-ranked flinch bots, his damage is just poor.  Sophocles does not have a great tech nuke.  Even against Tornadus he routinely struggles.  And his flinch supplies exactly nothing to the damage dealt, really just supplying a stall.  Which is a problem against fights where flinch doesn’t last and you’re desperately trying to make it count.  Like Moltres.  God I hate this bird.

Crasher Wake: B -> C.  Exact same deal to Sophocles but legitimately worse.  Even as a Water-type, Wake’s damage feels atrocious, because his requirement is that the foe be flinching.  It’s too much to expect the flinch to last.

Lucy: B -> C.  And another where damage seriously hinders performance.  Lucy’s got Toxic and Trap as effects, which are delightful and useful, particularly in regards to a fight like Uxie.  But beyond this, Lucy is...kind of a pain.  Her bulk isn’t fantastic, and her damage is outright sad.  Less than half the HP bar against Bulu while supereffective.  Outside of these traits for supplemental damage, Lucy contributes very little.  And last Gauntlet, I got to learn how bad it is that she’s also Psychic-weak.  So that’s just great.

Inter-tier Adjustments

Nanu: Bottom of S.  Honestly, it’s the 40% thing.  If he had a full 60% flinch on Bite, he’d be way higher up.  But because of that limitation, and the fact he is fully reliant on attack/crit support to even get to 40%, I feel like he’s the last winner of the S-tiers.  Fantastic sync nuke, fantastic utility, just...needier.

Ramos: Moved to Agatha.  They’re comparable.  Agatha has better gauge control, but I feel like Ramos provides comparable utility.  I do think Agatha’s decisively better, but I rarely consider her for a sync nuker as it is.  Or as DPS with Shauntal around.

Cheryl: Bottom of A.  Cheryl, while I love her, does have some notable flaws.  Physical attacks can be dangerous for her, and her gauge control is nice but not exceptional.  I think the bigger thing is just...lack of real utility after buffing.  Hyper Voice and Flamethrower aren’t great picks.  I kinda wish Hyper Voice were just Swift.

Wikstrom: Down to Molayne.  Wikstrom’s main issue is frailty.  Even with Vigilance, he gets trucked by AoE moves pretty easily, and it’s a problem.  They’re comparable, with Wikstrom being above Molayne entirely because of his self-setup.  But, Wikstrom also has gauge issues while Molayne...pretty much never does.  So you know.  Roll that into your calculations.

Liza: Above Drake.  Drake, for a defensive buffing, dies constantly.  Liza doesn’t take hits reliably either, but at least she doesn’t need sync to get the bare minimum of healing.  And mixed offense buffing is a nice skill to have, while a one-bar spam means she’s better on gauges.

Hapu and Clay: Bottom of D.  These two suck.  Hapu really only has accuracy debuffing utility, and isn’t even that great at it.  Eggmons do this stuff.  But that’s still better than whatever Clay is supposed to be.  Speed debuffs are notoriously bad, and Toxic Chance 2 isn’t really anything to write home about.  Worse, what should be a defining trait in his sync nuke is woefully poor because he needs attack, crit, and now special defense support, a combination of traits that is ridiculously hard to shop for.  He does get double Endure, which is the only thing keeping him out F, but I have yet for it to matter so get ready to demote, buddy.

Final Thoughts I think running a longer Gauntlet streak and having to really push our tools has made some of the flaws in flinch bots stand out in particular.  Supplementary DPS is pretty required for it to matter.  Moltres will just dunk your ass if you’re not helping push toward the phase change when needed, while Tapu Bulu’s severe flinch weakness only matters if you’re dealing enough damage to take advantage of the delay.  Weaker flinch attacks just don’t add much unless they’re partnered with specifically overpowering strikers.  This is why Marshal jumped so much; the combination of a flinch chance with really respectable DPS that is also recovery is frankly incredible role compression.

That said, this was also a revelation in the inconsistency of flinch as a skill, compared to the reliability of sleep.  There’s a reason the only flinch bots that rank above the sleep bots are Winona and Nanu, two units who also pack insanely good utility in Rain and Screech respectively.  I think we’re also coming into the realization that, especially after the common grid war concluded, most damage dealers have some level of self-sufficiency, and therefore a support needs to be a bit more than just a strong buffing kit.  Torchic and Maylene largely dropped because of their frailty, inability to heal, and lack of sufficient gauge control, while Roxanne remains top dog for having a solid defensive profile, absurdly good buffing including gauge control, and Endurance.  Though admittedly, even Roxanne was challenged.  Bulu was strong enough she needed Potion.  Though I also blame that on Lodge Marnie being kinda ass.

I also need to admit that Norman’s position in F might not last.  Despite my grousing about his grid being so awful that it feels like a joke, the Normal typing means higher general damage, and even with Body Slam, he supplied relevant supplemental DPS in his team.  Reliable paralysis and the ability to heal off AoE hits make for pretty good traits, too.  I’m not convinced he’ll rise, but I am convinced he might not be bottom of the barrel if Clay and Hapu don’t get it together.  Honestly Lorelei too.  30% freeze isn’t great odds and it’s about all she’s good for, so we’ll see.

[wingsofanillyrian]

Lights Over Monaco: Chapter 3

Day late but here you go! Thank you to @acourtofcouture​ for beta-ing and putting up with me!

Chapter Masterlist

The six hour flight left Nesta well rested and refreshed as she checked into her hotel. She texted Jacob to check in and make sure none of his equipment had gotten lost on the flight. Having arrived a day earlier, he had been lurking around paddocks in hopes of capturing any drama on film.

He assured her everything had made it safely and informed her there were rumors flying about transmission troubles with the McLaren team. Nesta told him to keep an eye on it and unpacked her suitcase.

Nesta had just sat down when her phone rang. It was Tomas. Sighing, she decided she couldn’t avoid him forever.

“Tomas,” She answered coldly.

“About damn time you picked up the phone,” He replied, remorseless. He wasn’t earning himself any points. “What room are you in?”

She frowned. “How do you know if I’m even in Baku?”

“Doesn’t take a rocket scientist to find out flight numbers.” Interesting, he was keeping tabs on her.

“I don’t want to-”

“I said what room?”

Nesta sank back in the plush chair. Truthfully, she did want to see him, if only to determine what he had to say for himself. She couldn’t let go of the hope that somehow this was all a simple misunderstanding.

“Fourteen twelve,” She told him, instantly regretting it.

She heard him shuffling on the other end. “Five minutes.”

A knock on her door sounded a few minutes later, and she let Tomas in. “I saw the story.”

“Obviously,” Nesta scoffed, crossing her arms. Tomas reached for her but she stepped away. His eyes went bright with anger. She would not make this easy for him.

“I tried calling you.”

“I am aware.” Nesta picked at her nails to hide her trembling, trying to appear utterly nonplussed. “Did you sleep with her?”

“Yes.”

Nesta froze. Ever so slowly, her gaze slid to Tomas. Back straight, chin jutting out, staring down his nose at her. He still showed no sign of regret, nothing that would indicate he made a mistake.

“Why?” She rasped, fighting back tears. Tomas was not worth it.

He shrugged. “Because I wanted to. You and I are just fucking anyways. What does it matter?”

Nesta recoiled, blinking. “I can’t do this.” She had grossly miscalculated their entire relationship. Her palms began to sweat, her breathing increasing to a fever pitch. She pressed a hand to her chest, praying that the pressure would prevent her glass heart from shattering. Instead, it pushed the shards further into her lungs, making each breath ragged.

“Get out,” She whispered. Tomas scoffed, stepping forward.

“Nesta-”

“Out!” She repeated, more forcefully. She only needed to hold herself together for a few more seconds until he was out the door, then she could crumble.

Tomas’ face twisted. “Fine. I’ll see you at the paddock tomorrow anyway, I’m sure.”

Nesta let out a choked sob as soon as the door slammed shut. Her resolve broke, the dam inside of her punched through. Tears flowed freely down her face as she fell to her knees. She shouldn’t have loved him. 

Before they had met, she knew he was nothing but a heartbreaker. He went through women the way a drunk went through a bottle of liquor. Tomas viewed women in the same way as well; objects to be used until they were no more than empty shells and then discarded.

Nesta let the grief crash against her for a handful of minutes before she realized how useless it was. Tomas would never love her. Honestly, she wasn’t sure if he was capable of feeling such an emotion at all. There was no use letting him affect her.

Gathering her strength, Nesta stood. She looked at the sorry image in the mirror, taking in the red eyes, the mascara tracking down her cheeks, the disheveled hair. She wouldn’t let a man crush her. She had made it this far by blinding herself to the sneers and derogatory comments thrown at her. Why couldn’t she do the same to get over Tomas?

But as she climbed into bed, she realized how flawed that mentality was.

**********

Sunday’s race kept Nesta busy. Lucien and Azriel collided in lap three, causing a safety car and ultimately leading to the pair of them being unable to finish the race. Nesta had seen it on a television hanging in the Mercedes garage, the entire team letting out a collective shout when Vanserra didn’t yield to Azriel in the 90 degree turn and the Red Bull tangled with the Mercedes. Both cars were a mess of broken carbon fiber and snapped suspension bits.

Nesta managed to corner Azriel and get a few heated words out of him, a rare bit of annoyance showing through his usual calm. “Vanserra should have cut into the corner more sharply. He was way off the racing line.”

“Some people would say that you should have backed off and yielded the position to him,” Nesta added, hoping to get him worked up further. “What are your thoughts on that?”

Azriel glared at the camera, addressing anyone who dared think the incident had been his fault. “If you’re not allowed to defend, what’s racing about, then?”

Azriel turned on his heel and belined back to the garage. Jacob lowered the camera and turned to Nesta to ask, “You don’t actually believe it was Azriel’s fault, do you?”

“Of course not.” Nesta’s attention returned to the monitors and she grimaced. The racing incident had allowed Tomas to move up into first. Cassian was only a second behind, but struggling to overtake. At least she no longer had to be invested in Tomas holding his position. She couldn’t care less if he won or not.

In the end, it was Tomas taking home top points for Red Bull, Cassian bringing home 18 for Mercedes and Varian with a handful for McLaren spraying the champagne on the podium. Red Bull’s one stop strategy meant that when Cassian dipped into the pits on lap 38 for a fresh set of soft compound tires and one of the wheel nuts got stuck, Tomas was the clear winner. Cassian had no way to make up the 10 second deficit. The 25 points Tomas’ first place finish awarded him allowed him to slip past Cassian and snag the championship lead. 

And gods, was he smug about it.

Nesta told herself she didn’t care when Tomas sauntered into the press pen, his self-satisfied smile directed at her as he sat. Cassian and Varian filed in moments later, each silent as they took their seats. The room paused, Cassian’s hazel eyes flicking to where she sat front row. Everyone was waiting…. For her.

But her mind was blank. Not a single race related question surfaced. Nesta panicked, clenching a fist hard enough to feel her nails bite her palm. After a few beats of silence, the roar of the other reporters filled her head.

They had been waiting for her to ask something - anything - and she couldn’t come up with a single damned thing to say.

Jacob nudged her side. “You good?”

Nesta was too lost in the tangled web of thoughts to reply. This had all been a game to Tomas; his attitude now told her that. He had used her to gain favor with other teams and build a solid reputation with fans. After all, what better way to gain positive media attention than to have the sport’s most infamous writer in your bed?

She managed to keep her face carefully blank until the end of the conference. She didn’t say a word to Jacob as he packed up, shooting her confused glances all the while. The walls of the room pushed in on her, chest becoming tight. Standing on shaky legs, she fled down the hall, finding an abandoned alcove far from the cacophony of noise.

Chest heaving, Nesta tried to sort through her revelation. Tomas had used her. He had never intended to let this drag out. Those pictures had likely been a calculated move on his end, intended to spear her heart. Maybe breaking her had been his plan all along. He seemed to enjoy her emptiness, judging by the way he kept glancing at her during the conference. 

Her phone vibrated. Against her better judgement, she checked it. It was only Jacob, asking where she was. She only texted back to say that she was fine before gathering herself. She couldn’t just crumble in a hallway where anyone could see her.

She had just began to head towards the exit when someone jogged behind her. “Hey!”

“Not now Cassian,” Nesta said, annoyance evident. How did he always manage to find her when she wanted to be left alone? It was like he had some kind of sixth sense, focused directly on her.

“Hold on,” He said, fingers brushing her arm. The touch froze her, muscles coiling. It had only been a brief moment, but the surprise of it was enough to disarm her. “You okay? You didn’t say a word at the conference.”

Her lips peeled back in a snarl. “Why do you care?”

He did not flinch. Most would have. “Because I’m a decent person, believe it or not.” She searched his face for any sign of insincerity. She couldn’t find any; his hazel eyes held only honeyed truths.  

Nesta’s laugh was cruel, hot tears threatening to fall. “Right. Sure you are. Suddenly you feel like caring about how I feel instead of fucking with me. How about you leave me to my misery, Cassian? No need to rub it in.”

She didn’t wait for a response. Didn’t want to see the look on his face, whether it was anger or smug satisfaction, or something else entirely. 

Nesta managed to make it out and call a taxi to take her back to the hotel. She was silent the entire ride, not bothering with half-hearted small talk. Collapsing on the bed, she didn’t bother changing. She queued up a cheesy comedy film, one that was full of stupid jokes that were funny when it first came out, but not relevant in the present day.

Halfway through, Nesta grew bored and checked her phone. There was a text from an unknown number.

You okay? You never answered me.

"What the fuck," Nesta mumbled, rereading the message. How had Cassian gotten her number? 

Fine, was all she said back. She didn't know why she even bothered responding. Maybe it was because he had seemed genuinely concerned in that hallway and she felt slightly guilty for blowing him off.

I can buy you a drink if you come down to the hotel bar

Fuck off and leave me alone

Gladly.

Nesta let out a frustrated sigh and texted Jacob.

You gave him my number didn't you?

Jacob's response was only an emoji of a nervous smile.

"Little fucker," She mumbled, tossing her phone aside. She'd throttle him tomorrow on the plane. Right now, she was too hungry to send a snarky reply. If she slipped out the back, she could grab a burger without having to chance running into Cassian at the bar.

Grabbing a sweater - the desert got cold at night, she'd learned that the hard way - she made the trek down the fourteen flights of stairs, trying to piece together her life.

By the time she made it to a fast food shop, she was exhausted. She inhaled her meal in minutes, lounging in the dingy booth. She looked at her phone for what felt like the thousandth time, disappointed when there wasn’t so much as a text from Tomas.

She got up from the booth, tossed her trash in the bin and walked out. She took the long way back to the hotel, purposely winding through the streets. Why did she care if Tomas hadn’t texted her? It was her own fault that she had let herself fall for him in the first place. She knew it had been a horrible idea, and yet she had allowed herself to let him gain a place of importance in her life. They’d agreed on no feelings, and yet here she was. 

By the time she made it back to her hotel room, Nesta was exhausted. It took her three tries to fit the electronic key in the reader, and she used her full weight to shoulder the obscenely heavy door open. 

She didn’t bother with the lights, simply slipping out of her shoes and throwing her jacket in the general direction of the closet. She wanted to sleep; maybe that would reset her mind so she could feel less broken tomorrow.

“Hey-”

“Fuck!” Nesta jumped at the voice, fumbling for the lightswitch, heart in her throat. She squinted when warm light filled the room, shoulders relaxing when she saw who it was. Tomas, standing awkwardly by the desk, roses and a small box in his hands. Despite herself, hope bloomed.

“What are you doing here?” She asked, unmoving.

Setting down the bouquet, Tomas stepped forward to hand her the box. “I came to apologize. I know I missed your birthday and that I’m a shitty person. But if you open that, I think you’ll see…”

He trailed off, nodding to the present she now held. She opened the hinged black velvet, revealing a small diamond necklace. It was delicate, nothing flashy, but enough to make a statement. Nesta glanced up at him, heart warring with her head.

“Do you think showering me with pretty things will make me take you back, after what you said?”

“I think it’ll help, when paired with the fact that I-” He swallowed, trying and failing to hide his grimace. “I love you.”

Any and all sane thoughts left her head upon hearing those three precious words. Gods, she had dreamed of this moment for months. He’d only waited to tell her because it was clearly hard for him to say. But now that he’d admitted it, she could teach him how to love.

Nesta laughed, throwing her arms around his neck. “I love you too, Tomas. I always have.”

His hands rest on her back, not returning her fervor but she didn’t care. “Now will you take me back?”

The short answer was yes, absolutely. There was nothing she wanted more in the world than to wrap herself up in him and get lost. But her head knew that she needed to lay out a defense.

“Only if you promise we can make this real. If we can be together. Which means no more stunts for the cameras. I can’t keep writing about it like it’s nothing.”

Tomas tensed against her. “Fine. I can do that.”

The weight on Nesta’s chest eased. She let him lay her back on the bed, ripping at his clothes. She only let him pull away long enough for him to whisper, “I can’t stay the night.”

@aphoeni @planet-faerie  @nina-zcnik @darlinminds @linsimin @that-little-red-head @teagoddess99 @enpointe10 @electronicstrawberrystrawberry @awesomelena555 @iptneus @weesablackbeak @wonderland–memories @nessian-trash-heap @magicalwaterfall @perfectlyimpxrfect @cassians-wings @valkyrie-archeron @acourtofcouture @nesemryn @chloepereyra @toastedroastedburnt @swankii-art-teacher @illyrianshadowhunter @bakingandbooks3 @maastrash​ @candid-confetti​ @flamingveritas​ @silentquartz​ @suckmykawaiidesu​ @18moneytoad​ @frosted-crackers​ @maybekindasortaace @lysandra-tiara9 @rowaelinismyotp​ @jlinez

[saedii-gilwraeth-simp]

This post but I wanted to do it all with BillyxArsinoe - Part 2: electric boogaloo (REPOST BC I FINISHED IT THIS TIME)

How do they fall asleep? Wake up? Any daily rituals?

Billy always says hello to Arsinoe first when he gets home. It doesn’t matter if it’s a party and there are 50 people between Arsinoe and the front door, Billy always says hello to her before anyone else. And Arsinoe always kisses Billy’s cheek before she gets out of bed because she’s too groggy to say hello properly.

How’s their team work? Do they share well?

Wins three-legged races every time. They are masters of communication so they work together really well and tend not to step on each other’s toes. They share pretty well unless it’s blankets.

Are they open about their relationship? How do they feel about public displays of affection?

Billy and Arsinoe fucking love talking about each other to other people because they love being together. In terms of PDA, they are… very enthusiastic and it has definitely gotten them in trouble before.

First impression of each other? Was it love at first sight?

They really didn’t click when they first met and it was definitely not love at first sight. I call it the “Billy is the epitome of a privileged white man” effect

Nicknames? Pet names? Any in-jokes?

They only call each other pet names when they’re tired. And they probably have a million in-jokes that I’m not funny enough to come up with

Any tasks that are always left to one person?

Arsinoe always makes the bed bc she knows Billy likes to get into a made bed at the end of the day. Billy always washes and puts away the dishes bc the repetitive motion messes with Arsinoe’s bad shoulder

What annoys them the most about their partner? Would they change it if they could?

Billy gets upset over how far Arsinoe takes things when it come to helping/protecting her friends and family because it can get her hurt, but he wouldn’t change it bc he knows he would do the same thing. Arsinoe doesn’t like that Billy wants to protect her constantly but she wouldn’t change it bc very few people (basically Jules and Mirabella and that’s it) have ever cared about her enough to protect her

What do the like best about their partner?

Arsinoe adores how gentle but fierce Billy is and Billy loves how much joy Arsinoe brings to the lives of everyone she meets

Do they discuss big issues? Religion? Marriage? Children? Death?

They discuss it when they first start permanently living together. Neither are religious bc Arsinoe has trauma from the temple and Billy just doesn’t really care about religion. Both agreed very early on that they wanted to get married and have children. Neither wants to talk about death, they’ve had enough of that that they just want to push the conversation away.

Who drives? Cooks? Does the handiwork? Cleans? Pays the bills? Handles the public?

Billy drives, neither cook, Arsinoe does the handiwork, both clean, Billy pays the bills (bc patriarchy). Neither handle the public.

Do they celebrate holidays? Anniversaries?

They like to celebrate holidays bc it gives them a chance to get everyone together to celebrate. And they both go ham for anniversaries.

Is there a wedding? What was the proposal like? Any kind of honeymoon?

So Billy just proposes on a nondescript Sunday in summer when they’re chilling on the porch and he looks over and the sun is lighting Arsinoe up and he just knows that this is the perfect moment, so he grabs the ring he’s carried around for months out of his pocket, puts it on the table open and says “Hey babe, let’s get married” and that’s it, they’re engaged. So, the wedding is nice and the reception is rowdy but also very intimate - Billy and Arsinoe definitely cried during the vows they wrote themselves and their flower crowns were gorgeous. And for their honeymoon, they go to this really nice manor in the country and do typical honeymoon things ;) ;)

What do they do for fun? Do they have a favorite activity or do they like to switch things up?

They go on fun dates around the city - lots of horse-racing, boxing and rugby. Their favourite though is to try to find different, better places for picnics each week. It’s began to get very competitive.

Anything they both dread?

Both really don’t enjoy being separated. Which is not to say that they always have to be together or that they can’t exist without each other, but they enjoy each other’s company so long periods of separation make them sad.

How adventurous are they?

I mean, this is a couple who recreated “We’re going on a bear hunt” so they get pretty wild.

Do they keep secrets? Lie? Cheat?

They might keep secrets to surprise each other time to time, but they both value and love each other too much to even consider lying, cheating or keeping big secrets.

What would make them break up? Would it be permanent?

Nothing and if something did, it sure as fuck wouldn’t be a permanent break up.

What are their dates like? How long do/did they date? Do they ever feel the need to take a break from each other?

Their dates are pretty fun and involve food and laughing, regardless of what they do/where they go. They “dated” for like 3 years simply cause they’re both young and have all the time to get married. and they don’t really feel the need to take breaks but they do sometimes, just to feel independent.

What do they fight about? What are their arguments like? How do they make up?

They don’t really have big explosive arguments and fights because they’re good at expressing themselves. But when they do fight, they both yell and then they get really silent and then they talk it out. And then makeup sex.

What does their home look like? Their room?

The townhouse in the city - where they are normally - is mostly shades of baby blue and has the vibes of a rich 18th century family home. Their bedroom has sapphire blue walls and curtains with a four poster bed and a dresser and a wardrobe against the opposite wall. They have an ensuite with a massive bath and double vanity and a walk in robe. They also have a farmhouse and that is a lot more quaint.

Do they share any interests or hobbies?

Both enjoy looking after their chickens and the horses they own at the races but other than that they have their own hobbies.

Does their work ever interfere with the relationship?

Billy’s work requires a lot of travel that Arsinoe can’t go on sometimes, so they have to shift how their relationship works sometimes, but for the most part, it doesn’t matter how far apart they are.

How do they hug? Kiss? Tease? Flirt? Comfort?

Billy sometimes hugs Arsinoe around the shoulders and will kiss her temple, usually when he feels talking will ruin a quiet moment. Otherwise, Billy tucks Arsinoe into his chest and wraps his arms over her shoulders when hugging her. Arsinoe always puts at least one hand on Billy’s neck and Billy always puts on hand on Arsinoe’s waist/hip when they kiss. If Billy wants to tease, he holds Arsinoe’s hips and kisses her neck. Arsinoe could reveal an ankle and Billy would blush tbh. Both are terrible flirts so they don’t flirt very often. And in terms of comfort, a hand hold or a good hug is really good for them.

Any doubts about the relationship?

Nah, their solid

How much time do they spend together? Do they share their feelings, or hold things in?

They spend a lot of time together (to be clear, they definitely are comfortable to ask when they need independent time) but it’s not like they’re constantly speaking, touching, they could just be sitting in the same room and it’s comfy. And they’re the best at sharing feelings, mostly bc they’re both shit at holding things in.

How do their friends feel about their relationship? Their families?

Their friends think they’re an excellent couple. Billy’s family tries to focus more on Billy’s happiness than how unconventional Arsinoe is as a Mainlander partner

Do they have kids? Grow old together? Split up?

Billy and Arsinoe have four children, triplet boys and a girl who are agents of chaos but grow up surrounded by so much love and acceptance (unlike how their parents grew up). B*A do grow old together and are still a fucking power couple in their 90′s

What are their vacations like?

Both work quite hard day to day so when they’re on holiday they usually relax, stay in bed late or meander throughout local towns. 

How do they handle disasters or emergencies? Minor injuries? Sickness? 

Both are very calm, cool and collected during disasters or emergencies. Billy stresses about injuries and sickness while Arsinoe’s pretty nonchalant bc she usually knows how to fix it. However, neither like it when their kids are sick.

Could they manage a long distance relationship?

They could but they wouldn’t want to

Do they finish each other’s sentences? Pick up any phrases or habits from each other? Know when the other is hiding something?

They definitely have the ability to finish each other’s sentences. Arsinoe has picked up Billy’s habit of tapping fingers on any surface that is nearby and Billy has taken on Arsinoe’s habit of rubbing a cheek when nervous. And yes, they know when each other is hiding something but they trust that whatever is being hidden will be revealed when right.

Do they ever get into trouble? Is it serious, or are they just mischievous? 

Oh boy they get in trouble so much but in the fun, saucy, “we’re a young couple in love” kinda way

What kind of presents do they get each other? Do they only do it on special occasions?

They usually will get each other something heartfelt or practical, sometimes a mix of both. They aim to stick to holiday/birthday sharing but every now and then, it’ll be a matter of “I saw this and thought of you.”

Do they have any pets?

More chickens than they know what to do with. A couple of cats that come and go and a golden retriever that their kids got but won’t reveal how, they just bought it home one day.

Do they bring out the best in each other, or the worst? Do they have a fatal flaw?

They bring out the best in each other and they’re the definition of married people who are best friends. They don’t really have fatal flaws.

What’s their greatest strength as a couple? Their weakness?

Greatest strength is how much they love each other so they create an environment that is so comforting. They’re weakness is that they’re so cute it makes people angry.

How much would they be willing to sacrifice for the other? Any lines they refuse to cross?

They wouldn’t do anything a morally sound person would consider deplorable but they would definitely sacrifice a lot for each other. 

What are they like in the bedroom? Any kinks/fetishes/turn-ons? Anything they won’t do?

Look, they’re def 50/50 vanilla/kinky but in terms of specific turn ons, Arsinoe has a thing for Billy’s hands and Billy likes Arsinoe’s legs and butt (very valid takes). I also think that they would try different bedroom things at least once, for experimentation purposes.

Who initiated the relationship? Who kissed who first?  When did they realize they were in love?

They both kind of initiated the r/ship and technically Arsinoe kissed Billy first. Billy realised he loved Arsinoe when she jumped in front of the bear and Arsinoe realised she loved Billy when he tried to save her from the priestesses.

Any special memories? Do they have a special place they like to go to?

Their special memories come mostly from when Arsinoe came back from Fennbirn to the Mainland, their wedding day and their kids birthdays. Their special place is on the townhouse roof bc it’s quiet and they can see the stars really well from there. 

Are they party-goers? What are they like when they’re drunk? Does it happen often?

They go to the occaisional party if they like the people who will be there. Arsinoe can’t get drunk and Billy doesn’t drink bc he doesn’t like how angry and aggressive it makes him.

Do they let each other get away with things that would normally bother them?

Yes, but only to a certain extent. If it really bothers one of them, then that person will make a comment and that will prompt a change in behaviour from the offensive party.

Do they talk often? What about?

They talk all the time. Sometimes it’s dumb jokes or to check in with each other but mostly it’s just fun and boring married couple conversations.

Are the comfortable with each other? Anything they have to have their privacy for?

Billy and Arsinoe are very comfortable with each other. There’s nothing specific they require privacy for unless it’s for a surprise.

Any special dreams or goals they have as a couple? Any heartbreaks? Regrets?

I mean, they just really desperately want to have a normal “white picket fence” life with each other, marriage and kids included. They don’t have a lot of heartbreaks (simply bc at some point, the amount of trauma they’ve suffered has to stop) and they don’t have regrets because that’s not how they choose to live their lives.

[aion-rsa]

Why The Great North Isn’t Just Another Bob’s Burgers

https://ift.tt/3rSBEcN

It’s easy to take one look at FOX’s newest animated comedy, The Great North, and assume it’s exactly like the long running and beloved Bob’s Burgers. Two of The Great North’s creators wrote a good chunk of Bob’s Burgers episodes and the shows share a near-identical art style after all. At first glance some of the Bob’s Burgers character archetypes seem to be involved as well: awkward daughter, an odd sarcastic youngest child, and a loving, if somewhat offbeat, father.  So why bother with something like Bob’s Burgers when you could just watch Bob’s Burgers?

While there are a few surface similarities, by the end of the first episode of The Great North you’ll realize there’s so much more to it than just an Alaskan set version of the Belcher family. It’s got humor all its own, unique characters, and the potential to be something that isn’t merely a rival to Bob’s Burgers but a truly unique experience.

So let’s head up north to discover all the reasons why The Great North is so wonderful. As a brief primer, the show is set in Alaska and follows the Tobin family with fisherman dad Beef, artistic daughter Judy, loveably dumb son Ham, bear-suit wearing son Moon, oldest and eager to please son Wolf, his always chipper and new to Alaska fiancé Honeybee, and Judy’s best imaginary friend Alanis Morissette…played by Alanis Morssette.

The Family’s Lack of a Mom is Refreshingly Handled

A lack of a mom is a huge trope in animation at this point (look at damn near every ‘90s Disney movie) and if there is a mom, especially in a comedy, she tends to be wacky or overly loving. The Great North puts a new twist on both of these in its very first episode.

The plot of the premiere deals with Beef struggling to get over his ex-wife years after she abandoned the family. An ex-wife isn’t anything to write home about, a single dad taking care of a family is a comedy trope in of itself, but it’s what we learn about Beef’s ex that makes this element so refreshing.

Instead of the mom just not being present or having died off screen, Beef only acts like she’s dead, a fabrication everyone goes along with to keep him sane. When he isn’t around though Judy is quick to point out the rest of the family doesn’t buy this and they never liked her much anyway. She even flat out states,

“She was a really bad mom, okay? And it was actually better when she left.”

The other kids then list off horrible things she did, like name their dog Grandma solely so, “she wouldn’t be lying when she said we were with Grandma when people asked.” She runs a blog with her “new lover” about stores that wont chase you if you shoplift. Even in her goodbye letter to Ham she just wrote, “smell you later.”

I love this so much because it replaces all the easy sentimentality of a dead or simply absent mom that comedies love and instead opens up some fantastic new storytelling opportunities. In the pilot alone it gives us deep insight into Beef, that despite how awful she was he refuses to think anything but the best of her. Why is he like that? Is it his way of not thinking about all the terrible things she did? She’s left him so broken he has to concoct an elaborate fantasy to keep himself sane. It makes you instantly love the character and while he does seemingly get over this denial in the pilot I can foresee it impacting him for the rest of the series.

It’s also so refreshing because the kids aren’t all that broken up about it. Knowing their mom was terrible helps reflect a lot of what kids go through in real life. Sometimes they just have a bad parent and there’s no deep explanation of why, they just are and it’s not great. Maybe Judy and the others are hurt by this and I’d love to see the show tackle that in the future but even if it strictly keeps this part of their characters on the comedic side of things? It’s empowering. These kids aren’t broken up by their awful mom and want her back; they’re thriving BECAUSE she isn’t around. 

Nick Offerman Being Nick Offerman

Over the years Nick Offerman has perfected the deadpan and loveable character that brought him to fame in Parks and Recreation. His role as Beef isn’t a major departure from that mold but it does allow Offerman to be even warmer than his most famous character. 

As Beef he’s a capable man who gets up to see the sun rise and chop wood. He loves nature so much he steals a potted plant from a mall to take better care of it. His love for his family is on full display and he often goes to absurd lengths to keep them together. Offerman brings a great charm to the role and all of the jokes he delivers are winners. 

The Rural Location

Bob’s Burgers draws much inspiration from its city setting, while The Great North is set in rural Alaska. This may seem like a surface level change but once again opens up all kinds of new opportunities for stories and characters. Where the Belcher family was somewhat cynical to city life (you would be to with a landlord breathing down your neck) the Tobin family openly embraces the chilly north.

Judy sits out on the roof and talks with her imaginary best friend, Moon takes great pride in his ability to mimic a soon to be eaten cadaver laying out in the snow, and Beef specifically gets up every morning to stare in wild wonder at Alaska’s majesty while whispering “hot dog.” The whole family even delights in going to the mall, which is the kind of joy only someone living out in the middle of nowhere can truly appreciate.

The Different Character Dynamics

Even after eleven truly fantastic seasons Bob’s Burgers characters still manage to never feel stale and the team behind the show always finds new ways to play around with them. With such a rock solid cast of characters you’d think they could tackle any story imaginable but The Great North is already proving to be a home for stories that just wouldn’t work for Bob’s Burgers.

The most noticeable change is that most of the kids are older. Judy and Ham are both sixteen which opens up a lot of possibilities that couldn’t be done with the Belcher kids. They can get involved in more serious relationships, have jobs (as Judy gets in the first episode), and are able to be more autonomous from the family. Wolf, the oldest of all of them, is engaged! Imagine what could be done with a soon-to-be married couple? Honeybee herself also functions as a delighted fish out of water to Alaska, her thoughts on the Tobins’ life a needed commentary. Her outgoing personality also clashes well with Moon’s stoic nature.

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Judy and Ham also share a more loving sibling dynamic than any of the Belcher kids ever have. In Bob’s Burgers the kids don’t wear their hearts on their sleeves, they’re more likely to make sarcastic quips about one other. The Great North though has Judy and Ham share a special bond, the two have a secret handshake that goes for an indeterminable amount of time. It’s really sweet and it makes me excited to see what kind of comedy can be mined from this more openly affectionate family.

Ham Is Gay And I Love Him

Ham is my favorite character so far in this show. He’s a little slow on the uptake but loves everyone in his family a lot and can even make a perfect replica of a cadaver… in the form of a cake. He also happens to be gay, a fact that is wonderfully confirmed in the first episode when he blurts out, “I AM GAY!

To which Moon responds, “we know. You’ve come out to us a bunch of times.”

Beef then adds, “we love you just the way you are, damn it!”

Ham, clearly not remembering his past comings-out, yells, “WELL, THANK YOU FOR BEING AN ALLY!”

It’s a great scene and kicks any subtext out the door. Queer audiences don’t have to sit around guessing who COULD be queer in the show (as they’re so often forced to do with so little representation in media) there’s a character who said OUT LOUD he’s gay. He’s one of us!

Bob’s Burgers has had several one-time gay characters (Bob did refer to himself as “mostly straight” once but that was more of a gag) but getting a gay teen in the main cast is sublime. He’s also a different sort of gay teen then we’re used to in television, with a tiny “probably thinks it’s cooler than it actually is” mustache and his “not quite all there” personality. He’s not a stereotype, he’s got some obvious flaws, but he’s loveable! Sure enough, his family loves him and accepts him.

Having a gay character in the cast opens up so many story possibilities. Are there any other gay kids in this rural town? What if there’s only one and he’s forced to date him? Does he know what kind of guys he likes yet? Where do the gay kids hang out in this town? 

It also must be reiterated that his family loves him and accepts him. While drama over coming out and acceptance is totally valid, I’m glad that Ham will get the chance to just be gay and his family will support him all the way. We can just see him happily (if somewhat absent-mindedly) live his life and that’s needed in a world with so little queer representation. As a pansexual man myself it’s heartwarming. I wish I had a character like Ham when I was growing up. 

Alanis Morissette Is A Main Character

Yes, Alanis Morissette is in The Great North (played by the actual Alanis Morissette) but in an absolutely perfect choice she’s not the REAL Alanis Morissette, she’s Judy’s best imaginary friend who just happens to be Alanis Morissette. Judy’s artistic so it makes sense she’d look up to someone as incredible as the Canadian musical genius. As an imaginary best friend she tends to serve as a sounding board for Judy’s thoughts and gives absolutely flawless advice.

Even better though? The imaginary Alanis Morissette also only appears in the Aurora Borealis. That’s… incredible. What a way to take advantage of the show’s location!

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

 The Great North is a delight. It’s only been two episodes (the third one premieres February 14 and the first two are available on Hulu) but it’s already shown a lot of promise. Not in the “oh it’ll get good eventually” sense but in the “no it’s already great and I want to see more of it!” Don’t think of it as another Bob’s Burgers, just think of it as its own wonderful moose-filled show (it’s Alaska, what did you expect) and you’ll have a fantastic time. Truly, in these dark times we could all use a little help from imaginary best friend Alanis Morissette.

The post Why The Great North Isn’t Just Another Bob’s Burgers appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[julies-butterflies]

I must admit, sometimes I do feel like a ye olden solider, sending letters to my beloved across the waves during wartime. Oh my dearest Lydia, I hope the kudos and comments crops have been plentiful this season. Your last letter left me weeping. Why must you put poor Reginald through such pain?

(I gotta admit, I still can't believe that I'm talking to you. I've been looking up to your work for so long...it just feels a bit surreal, even now! Glad you like hearing my ramblings! And that you liked my vampire prompt! Did not realize you'd write back when I sent that in. Look at us now, huh?)

(Speaking of prompts, I sent those jukebox and willex ones too. And I loved them both so so much, I shall scream about them more when it is not 2 am because I need sleep)

(Oh and the update of If I Was You!!! Amazing, Stellar, Incredible, Reggie, Carrie, Julie shenanigans is my new favorite thing, DID YOU JUST DOUBLE THE CHAPTER COUNT, and I'm like 90% sure Trevor is in deep trouble with a certain angry jazz ghost. Seriously loving it)

I actually do not remember what it was like to send in 1/5 asks, because I did not get a Tumblr until very reccently! I've always been a nerdy person, but Jatp is my first time being really in a fandom. You gotta do something new in quarantine, right?

Ah yes. Luke and Emily. To me, it just seems obvious that there's so much love between them. Even with all the pain. You get it. You put it down so eloquently.

As for what kind of stories I like to read...it seriously depends on my mood.

I like niche aus, passion projects. Stories where you can just feel the author's love for the world they're inventing. But I tend to lean towards cannonverse. I like ghost stories, it's what drew me to this show in the first place. And I love exploring that concept. (Being forever gone, and always the same...it's just fascinating to me)

Platonic goodness is just WONDERFUL for this show. I will read anything with cuddles. I am touched starved and these kiddos are too, and I will cry about them puppy piling every damn day. Plus there's just some much POTENTIAL for future friendships! I love ones where Flynn and Carrie get to interact with the boys as well. And 90s content, from before and after the orpheum, just hits hard.

I really wasn't expecting to get invested in the couples on this show, but something about them is moving to me. So I do love to read about them. Watching two queer kids who lived during incredibly important areas of queer history find love together after death really hit hard for me, and there's just something so bittersweet about a girl and ghost deciding to love each other for the little time they're given.

I love family dynamics too. Anything with Ray and his seven disaster children, the band and Trevor.... I think Julie and Emily is one of my favorite dynamics to explore. A girl who lost her mother and a mother who lost her son, both grieving but with one able to speak to the dead...it's just very powerful to me.

(And of course, Luke and Emily, but I figured you already knew that)

Mostly...I like seeing the messy stuff. The unexpected consequences, the baggage. I want to see the messy emotions, the grief and anger, the jealously, the disorientation. I look for those glass shards, that might be too sharp to ever be addressed on the show. Not even the big, monumental plot lines just... the harder pieces of life, the little moments that don't fit neatly into a nine episode arc.

I just want to see them live you know? Love, laughter and loss all mixed together.

(One of my all time favorite tropes is "found family gets broken apart by trauma, only to find each other again and come back stronger than ever." I feel like this explains a lot of my taste in fiction)

Thank you for the writing advice. Your words were very motivating. I am trying to begin! I got up the nerve to start working on a little piece. Who knows if it will go anywhere. But it's been nice, to finally put some words on the page.

The POTC au is so freaking good man. The character dynamics are just on FIRE. Everything is broken and messy and the relationships genuinely tug at my heartstrings. It's such a fascinating story. Highly recommend, even with the cliff hangers.

OH HOW COULD I FORGET PAWPRINTER? Man oh man I love all her work. The wheelies art and steals universe is freaking amazing, not an avacado had me in tears (of laughter, till things got surprisingly sad). And All that Remains...slow burn Willex perfection. Jedi Alex and Pilot Willie have my HEART.

I don't think I've read firefall and weneedglitter (or if I have, I'm just not connecting the names to their pieces. I don't always remember author names. it's a problem). I will go look for them though! Cannot wait!

For more recs, I recently binge read We Found Wonderland. I was not mentally prepared for the sheer amount of feelings that gave me. Highly recommend, if you ever want an emotional rollercoaster with an incredibly satisfying end.

Going on to more serious subjects...I'm sorry your family doesn't see your grief for what it is: honest. Better to feel everything quietly, than make it an easily understadnable performance. Fake grief is so easy to spot.

I think of that scene from "Forever," when Buffy breaks down and tells Dawn that she has to keep busy, because if she stops, it means Joyce is really gone. There's a lot of truth there.

On a tangent here but.. there was a very long period in my life when I was told the ways I expressed my emotions were "incorrect". And I found that sometimes, no matter how you show your emotions, you'll always be criticized. Numbness can be called disinterest, but sobbing can be called attention-seeking too. Too big, too small: that jury was impossible to please This may not apply in your situation but...it's okay to feel however you can. It's the only think you can do, really.

As I've said before, Grief is such an odd trickster.

Don't you ever get tired of missing people... This past year, I've been so weary of grief. Sometimes it can be so sharp, but it's that dull ache. That ball and chain, no longer cutting through your skin, but rubbing it raw, weighing you down.

And people don't like to talk about that part, because it's long and tiresome, but oh, is it there. I find it hard to talk about my grief, because sometimes there's just so much of it. I could drown in it, and that fear keeps me from looking to close. To incorrectly quote Jane Austin: "If I missed you a little less, I might be able to talk about it more."

(Sometimes it's faceable. But sometimes you just can't bear it. And that's okay.)

But what you wrote in that eulogy...the love is there. It's in every word you write. I cried reading that section. I feel honored once again to see some of your jagged pieces. You're sharing your heart, and there's just so much love.

In the wise words of an author I know, "Love is like the snow Reggie. It never goes away."

And don't worry, I'm always with you.

Sending Love,

-LydiaStan7845 (aka Vampire Anon)

So...that Reggie and Nicky prompt

my god

my GOD

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD

I think it's safe to say congrats, you've officially destroyed me! I was not prepared for that at ALL. I should know better by now I guess.

I can't get over that even though they all take place in very different universe, all your stories just feel so connected! The way this talked about those headphones, which you mentioned in the first chapter of Kill Your Heroes...it's just so cool. All the characterization and backstory is just so well thought out, and it genuinely blows my mind.

I didn't think I could love Nicky Peters more. I was wrong. The way you write about him...even though you never go into exactly what happened to him after Reggie's death, you can just feel how much it's shapped him as a person. And the trauma around his father, and how he fears becoming like that, was just so beautifully written. He's just so lovable and flawed and trying so damn hard and you made my heart ache for him. Again.

You always take these genuinely crazy situations and...you just make them feel so real. I love you explore the strains such a revelation would put on Nicky's own life, it just makes everything so compellingly messy. It seriously feel like I was watching a real-life account of a family trying to deal with such a massive complication.

That porch scene had me in tears both times I read it. Reggie's just always a big brother, even though Nicky is more than twice his age now. My heart was shattered, and then you slowly mended it, piece by piece. And for absolutely no reason at all, you wouldn't happen to have a reference for the porch, would you?

Just wow. Hope you're doing well. Sending love and applause

-Vampire Anon

i’m not even gonna reply, but i want these documented... on my blog... for posterity.  ( for any curious onlookers, i’m dating this anon now!! )

[hyucksong]

to all the boys i’ve loved before; mark lee

Dear Mark,

     You know what Mark Lee? Fuck you. You’re a piece of shit and I should’ve known that you were a lying bitch when I saw you stare at that waitress for too long. I should’ve known that there was something you weren’t telling me because she looked at you like an old friend. But you insisted that you didn’t know her.

     Fuck you.

     I hope you can sleep with yourself at night knowing that you wasted my Senior year with fake love. I can’t believe I gave you my first kiss. I can’t believe we made out after prom. I can’t believe I snuck out of the house for someone like you. I can’t believe that you were the first person I actually dated. I can’t believe I told you I love you. 

     I hope the waitress-ex-girlfriend hybrid kisses better than her pancakes. I hope breaking my heart was worth it, Mark Lee. 

     Because it definitely doesn’t feel worth it on my part. I regret everything, Mark Lee. I hope your story ends with your kingdom falling apart. 

Dear Mark,

     Looking back, my anger was a little hypocritical. I knew better than anyone how love and denial made you do stupid things -- made you do things you regret or regret things you didn’t do. I get it.

     At the same time, it hurt. Maybe if I was a rebound that lasted only a few weeks, it’d hurt less. But you lied to me for a whole year. From August to May. You told me you loved me. You lied. 

     To be fair, I lied too. I told myself that Chenle was a thing of the past all throughout Junior year and that nothing was going to get in the way of my grades. Forget Chenle and Jisung, Haechan, Jaemin, or Jeno. That was supposed to last until graduation. Then in step you. The boy next door. Love of my Senior Year.

     But let’s be real. Forgetting someone and the love you held for them after five-plus years is impossible, we both know that. I may have been your rebound, but God knows you were probably just the same to me. I just never admitted it to myself. But kissing your ex at my graduation party wasn’t cool. Not at all. Even though we may have just been rebounds, I like to think we still meant a lot to each other. I mean, we kissed and stared into each other’s eyes. We held hands and sat in comfortable silence. We laughed at stupid things together -- hell, you met my parents. That’s got to mean something, right? 

     I hope it did. Because you’re an amazing guy; your giggly and timid persona, your quirky habits, your willingness to listen to me rant for hours on end, your insecurities and the way you shared them with me -- I hope none of that was fake. And remembering the way you couldn’t even lie to me for my surprise birthday party, I don’t doubt that at least those parts were real. Maybe if you weren’t so great, I’d actually hate you for cheating. But...there’s something about you that I just... can’t.

     Regardless of what I said in my last letter, I’ve never regretted dating you. Our fairytale was great while it lasted. I almost didn’t hear the clock strike twelve. But it struck.

     I hope you got your fairytale, though. I hope you found the girl that fits into your glass slipper. You’re an amazing guy, even with your flaws and mistakes. Just hope you didn’t lose a Cinderella for an evil step-sister on accident. 

Love, Y/n.

///a scene from the heart///

     Was this what you were missing out all those years of chasing boys who didn’t love you back? Were you missing the wind in your hair and the loud 90′s music blasting from a beat-down convertible? Because if so, you wished that Mark Lee would’ve appeared in your life earlier. 

     He was driving on the interstate, his hand on your thigh and your bags in the back of his trunk as you both rode your way to the beach for spring break. You had turned eighteen and he told you that “he wanted to make it the most memorable spring break of your life,” word for word. You’d rolled your eyes when he first said them, but with his cute laugh resounding around your ears, you knew he wasn’t lying.

    “Mark,” you rested your chin on the center console, where his right elbow was resting. He took his eyes from the empty road and look at you, his gaze pointing to your lips before trailing up to your eyes. “Yes, baby?” The car slowed down a little as his attention was placed on you, dropping back down to the speed limit. You licked your lips and thought about your words before biting your bottom lip and hiding your smile. Strawberry lip balm filled your taste buds, but you weren’t paying attention to that. His attention made your ears turn red. No one ever treated you the way he treated you.

     “I love you, Mark.” 

     Even the music seemed shocked at your words, the background vocals gasping as the boy’s eyes widened. His hands seemed to loose from the steering wheel before the car began to drift to the side. A curse fell from Mark’s pretty lips and he put both hands on the wheel to correct the position -- but after the chaos toned down and your statement went un-responded to, you felt tears well in the corner of your eyes.

     “S-Sorry,” You laughed, beginning to sit up. “What -- n-no! No! I-I, uh,” Mark stumbled through his words but placed his hand back on your bare thigh. “Y/n, baby,” He tore his eyes from the road, again, “I love you, too. A lot, actually.”

     He seemed to notice the insecurity drifting in your eyes because then he placed his soft lips on yours. Even though it was probably against the law, his lips molded with yours for a solid second as you both tore through the intestate roads at 90 mph. He looked away the second he pulled from you, his red cheeks facing the road again. 

     You laughed, biting your cheek as your intertwined your fingers with his for the rest of the trip. He wasn’t lying when he said he’d make this spring break the most memorable one of your life. 

///a scene from a broken heart///

     The scene in front of your eyes was surreal. It was entrancing. The way the moonlight lit the background with a beautiful silver shimmer and the trees swayed like lovers in a dance. The way his arms held her face like she was the Hope Diamond, and he the thief. How she pulled him in so close that you could feel his heartbeat drum in tune with hers. 

     It would be even more entrancing if he weren’t Mark Lee and she wasn’t the waitress that served you cold pancakes at IHOP yesterday. You didn’t know what to feel. His lips were smeared with an annoying red as his hand moved from her face to her waist. You almost forgot it was your graduation party with the show going on in front of you. 

     I mean, if you were going to cheat, couldn’t you at least not do it in front of the chocolate fountain? 

     Chenle walked up to you with a smile on his face, his arms spread for a hug when he noticed your grip crushing the red solo cup you held. His gaze followed yours and his heart stopped. Oh. 

     “Screw Mark Lee.” You seethed, tears slipped furiously past your waterline, down your chin. “Screw Mark Lee.” You said a little louder. Chenle’s hand came to rest on your forearm before trailing down to your hand, trying to calm you down. “I knew he wasn’t good for you,” He muttered, giving the side-eye to the cheating boy. You paid no attention to the venom laced in his tone because your body shook too fervently with emotions you couldn’t recognize. Guilt? Sadness? Regret? Hatred? Relief?

     Understanding? 

     “Y/n, come on, let’s go. I’ll call Jisung and we can all spend the night at my house like the old times. Don’t pay attention to that asshole. I don’t know what happened between you and Jisung, but I’m sure that he won’t ignore you when you’re like this --”

     “I don’t want to.” Chenle’s grip fell, and his throat dried. “W-What, why?” His question was met with an eerie silence and more tears. 

     “Screw Mark Lee.” He sighed, shaking his head, “Y/n, please--” He pulled you in, but the warmth from his arm did nothing but make you angrier. 

     “FUCK YOU, MARK LEE!” You shouted, throwing your drink down and ignoring the cold splash against your bare leg. Mark’s eyes snapped open and towards the noise, freezing when he saw you. It was like seeing a deer in headlights. The waitress he was kissing looked at you too, apologetically, before leaning over to whisper something in the frozen boy’s ear and walking down your driveway to the familiar beat down convertible. 

     You let the staring contest continue with Mark before you started sobbing, snot and tears falling from your face as Chenle dragged you away and towards his car. People were staring and whispering, and you passed familiar faces like Jeno and Haechan (that you didn’t remember inviting) as you kicked and screamed, yelling about how you regretted spending the last year of your life with a cheating prick. 

     Mark didn’t move an inch from his spot as Chenle drove you away, a concerned hand rubbing your knee. Your sobs didn’t stop either. Your heart didn’t stop hurting until weeks later, but in a strange way, you were relieved. In a strange way, you understood. In a strange way, you were the same. Because the way your heart drummed as Chenle held you that night in a means to comfort you told you how things weren’t going to last with your Senior love.

     Everything came crashing down. All your walls, all your barriers. Every wall you built up with Haechan, Jaemin, Jeno, Jisung, and Chenle crumbled around you as Chenle whispered words in your ear and you cried into your pillow. As much as it hurt, and would hurt for a while, that last heartbreak cleared your slate. All the tears you’d been holding for years came and went. 

     It was a new beginning as the sun dawned on your fallen kingdom. It was time to start anew. 

///

masterlist

[mmguitarbar]

A bad guitar, 1961

In a recent interview with Reverb.com, Fender CEO Andy Mooney laid bare his true feelings about the Jazzmaster and Jaguar, and let me tell you, they were anything but glowing. In the exchange, he brands Leo Fender’s original designs as “not very good guitars” at the time of release, declaring the mistakes of the past fixed in Fender’s latest entries into the offset line. 

Mooney takes a hard stance here, but to be honest his perspective here is nothing new. These critiques have been around for years, and even with the informed views of dedicated users of the Offset Guitar forum, the main axe associations with high profile players like Chris Stapleton and Nels Cline, and my own work over the last decade advocating for the guitars in print and performance –– pardon the horn tooting –– opinions on these fascinating guitars among the general populace are still very much divided.  

I don’t blame folks for holding these opinions because even I, Dear Reader, once believed the very same things. Back in high school I had an Olympic white Japanese Jaguar, a parental purchase spurred on by my love of the band Bush. The kindest way I could describe the guitar is problematic; the strings skipped off of their saddles, the bridge shimmied down, and it would not stay in tune no matter what I did. 

Eventually I traded it in on something more reliable, unwilling to wrestle with the instrument. When I finally came back to the offset guitar 14 years later, I realized that insatiable tinkerer Leo Fender wouldn’t have released a guitar he didn’t think was ready, and so I pushed through my preconceived notions of its flaws to gain a better understanding of the thing. I came out on the other side with a deeper appreciation for the man’s work. 

It seems to me that when a player has a bad experience with these guitars, it’s often because they’ve been poorly maintained. In cases such as these, I view it as an opportunity to educate and reevaluate. After a conversation or a quick adjustment, the player might still decide the models aren’t for them, but more often than not they seem to “get it.” And that’s enough for me.

So here I am, returning from an extended hibernation like a grumpy, shaggy bear; like the aging ensemble cast of a ‘90s sitcom, lured into a reunion for the cameras by the dangling carrot of a handsome payday, each secretly knowing that the end product would not be nearly as good as the show’s initial run; like a cherished childhood movie that, upon re-viewing for the first time in 30 years, has way more adult themes than your young mind could then comprehend, causing feelings of retroactive discomfort because you watched it with your parents in the SAME ROOM???

Prodigal namesake that I am, I have returned with my proverbial pen pressed to the also proverbial page of the Guitar Bar website to feverishly scrawl this open[ish] response in an attempt to give some context and gentle rebuttal to his comments. 

“They were not particularly good guitars when they were first introduced.”

When the Jazzmaster and Jaguar were first released in 1958 and 1962 respectively, they were not only top of the line models, but top sellers as well. While neither model was exactly embraced by the Jazz community, they nonetheless found favor with a varied group of players and all but defined the sound of Surf music while still in its infancy. For a time, they seemed to be everywhere. Admittedly, perceived popularity does not a good guitar make, so let’s look at a handful of early adopters.

At first, session players and country pickers liked the models well enough to use them on stage and in the studio, including Wayne Moss, Hank Garland, Willie Nelson, and Luther Perkins, who has an engraving of the model on his tombstone. If more proof is needed, here are three separate performances of Roy Clark absolutely shredding “12th Street Rag” on a bone stock Jazzmaster and Jaguar. These videos remain favorites of mine because they show someone really digging in and playing fast melodic runs on guitars that people seem to think can’t handle that kind of vigorous right hand technique. 

But if they were so good to begin with, why did sales eventually taper off?

A refinished ’65 from a couple of years back. I actually put the stock bridge back on this one instead of the sloppily installed TOM. It was awesome.

Previously, I’ve explained that the most common complaints with the model aren’t the fault of the design, but rather, trying to make that design do things it was never intended to do: wearing a set of light gauge strings. In the Jazzmaster, Leo Fender’s intention was to appeal to Jazz guitarists by creating a solid body guitar with the string geometry of an archtop: a pitched-back neck, a floating bridge, and a tailpiece, and most importantly, all specifically designed to work with heavy gauge flat wound strings. We’re talking 12s, 13s, and 14s. 

Once lighter gauges (9s and 10s) became the norm in the early to mid 1960s, inadequate string tension reduced the downward force on the bridge, resulting in tuning problems and string skipping. It’s like going off-roading with bald tires: you can certainly do it, but expect to slide around a bit.

At this point in my career I’ve set up well over a thousand of these guitars over the course of my career, and in the overwhelming majority of cases, once you throw on a set of 11 gauge rounds and shim the neck as Leo intended, they just work. They were good guitars then, and they’re still good guitars today.

For more information on setting up these guitars, have a look at our Demystifying series and my May 2017 cover story for Premier Guitar. 

“We’ve made them functionally better”

It’s true that Fender has devoted a significant amount of time and resources into solving the perceived problems with these guitars, including modified vibrato positioning, redesigned bridges, strategically placed nylon bushings, and even neck pockets angled at the factory to eliminate the need for shims. These are all good ideas, a few even great; as is often the case when chasing mass appeal, some have not been as successful as Fender might have hoped.

Take the Classic Player, which features an angled neck pocket and an Adjust-O-Matic bridge yet can still fall prey to the same string path issues of more vintage-correct models. The AOM style bridge was not designed with a vibrato in mind, with sharp, shallow saddle slots that can cause tuning problems of their own. And that’s to say nothing of the mismatched 12” radius bridge on a 9.5” neck, which causes the E strings to be higher off of the fretboard than the D and G in the middle and makes for an inconsistent feel across the neck. 

My friend Brian’s wonderful later model MarrGuar. An amazing guitar that set up beautifully.

Mooney specifically mentions the Johnny Marr model –– indeed a killer guitar ––  yet it’s worth noting that many of the earliest of the bunch left the factory with 56mm bridge string spacing, which turned out to be only a hair slimmer than the width of the neck. Many players reported problems keeping the outer strings on the fretboard, which eventually led to Fender adopting slimmer 52mm spacing in later production runs (linked in case you need one). Here’s a shot of a lovely black one with the worst example of this I have yet to see. 

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Scroll to see the neck and bridge string spacing problems.

A too-wide bridge…

…causing the E strings to fall off the neck when fretted

Strangely, the earliest American Professionals which came a few years later had the same problems, sometimes necessitating the need for aftermarket parts and prompting another mid-run update. 

As for the new American Ultra guitars, they may not be for me but I can understand why many of the features might appeal to other players looking for a more modern take on the Jazzmaster. With an additional lead circuit control knob, a re-purposed rhythm circuit layout for out of phase operation, rollers for individual pickup volumes, and an S-1 switch for series options, it could be argued that functionally they’re more complex than ever. 

However, once agin Fender curiously employs a mismatched bridge radius, this time a 9.5” bridge mated to a compound 10-14” radius neck, which puts the D and G strings higher off of the fretboard than the Es. Generally, compound necks work best when the string path is treated as a cone, flattening as it expands. In this case, a 16” bridge radius would set up far better than that of the stock part. I suspect we’ll start seeing even these guitars sporting alternative bridges before too long. 

So yes, while it’s good that we’re seeing R&D dedicated to making adjustments, some of those adjustments haven’t actually solved the problems, but rather, changed the nature of them instead.

“Now you can actually play them.”

I’ve made this point abundantly not only in this piece but in nearly everything else I’ve done over the years, but the fact is that Jazzmasters and Jaguars were always playable –– stock bridge included. Take it from an ardent Mastery user: the original bridge is as viable as any other, and once it’s adjusted correctly it’s as fun as it is functional.

Not only is there a wealth of great music made with them over the years as proof, you can refer to articles on this blog, numerous posts on both my personal Instagram as well as Mike & Mike’s showing that the stock bridge is dependable and musical. Hell, every offset guitar the shop sells goes through the same setup process to show off what incredible instruments they can truly be with just a little extra effort.

Closing Arguments

Would you play this stripped ’61, original bridge and all? It was a total beast of a guitar.

Real talk: I get that Mooney’s comments may be a marketing tactic to steer customers toward the current lineup in the Fender catalog, and just in time for the holidays at that. You know the old song and dance: newer is better! Fender does make a great guitar and innovation can be a good thing, so to this I say, fair play. 

Still, I have to believe there’s a better way to say so without throwing heritage –– and our beloved vintage instruments –– under the bus. 

You see, over the last five or so years, it seems to have become fashionable in Fender’s corporate culture to downplay or outright disparage the legacy of Leo Fender, with reps at NAMM overheard saying things like “Leo didn’t get everything right” and “we fixed his mistakes,” phrases repeated at the onset of the latest feature set or spec tweak. 

At best, comments like those in the previous sentence (as well as those which are the basis of this response) make Fender seem out of touch, and at worst, could erode the trust of a very loyal legion of customers.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll be saying it for as long as it needs saying: the Jazzmaster and Jaguar are Leo Fender’s most brilliant and misunderstood designs. It may have taken us 50 years to catch up, but now a growing and dedicated group of fans have found a unique sound here unlike anything you can get from other more traditional guitars. 

Speaking personally, no matter what other instruments are available to me, I reach for an offset first. I have found my musical voice in the Jazzmaster and Jaguar, and I’m never more comfortable or more adventurous than when I have one in my hands.

One last quote: 

“I have Jazzmasters and Jaguars… I have four in a line on my wall from 1966.” 

Andy, if you’ve read this and have found any of it compelling, I’d love the chance to show you just how good those guitars on your wall can be. All I’ll need is a few sets of 11s or 12s, a screwdriver or two, and maybe a couple Cold Ones to share between us. Burritos are good, too.

Oh, and parking validation –– it’s a bit of a drive up from Long Beach and the last thing I want to deal with is finding a spot on those notoriously crowded Hollywood streets.

A bad guitar. A very bad guitar

  An Open[ish] Response to Fender CEO Andy Mooney’s Thoughts on Offset Guitars In a recent interview with Reverb.com, Fender CEO Andy Mooney laid bare his true feelings about the Jazzmaster and Jaguar, and let me tell you, they were anything but glowing.

[hellzyeahwebwieldingreviews]

Untold Tales of Spider-Man 02: After the First Death… – by Tom DeFalco

A story that has me debating the nature of these stories.

A soggy Spidey swings through rainy Manhattan looking for crime shots for the Daily Bugle. He comes upon Kent and Wayne Weisinger on the roof of Stockbridge Jewelers, planning to rob it. Confident that he can end the fight anytime he wants to, Spidey stretches it out so that his automatic camera can take as many photos as possible. Kent and Wayne have a longstanding sibling rivalry marked by Kent's resentment of being the "muscle" to Wayne's "brains" along with feeling that his brother always cheats him. During the fight, Kent appears to charge at Spidey but when the web-slinger leaps out of the way, Kent doesn't stop, charging into Wayne and knocking him off the roof. Wayne falls five stories to his death and all the by-standers think Spidey did it. Guiltily, Spidey flees, forgetting about Kent altogether.

So, Kent goes to Wayne's estranged wife Jeannette to tell her the news. "Solid ice," Jeannette could care less about Wayne's death except that she's lost her meal ticket. When Kent blames the death on Spider-Man, Jeannette gets an idea on how to cash in.

In fact, Peter Parker seems to be the only one emotionally affected by Wayne's death. He has a sleepless night, trying to cope with the situation. Unguarded, he admits to J. Jonah Jameson that he has photos of the incident. His resolve to not sell the photos is beaten down by Jameson's arm-twisting and his own need for money. He sells the pictures and is then introduced to Jeannette, now the grieving widow of Wayne, who has come to JJJ for help in instituting a civil suit against Spider-Man. At school, Peter's conscience makes him counter Flash Thompson's avowal that "Spidey's no murderer" with "Maybe the wall-crawler didn't actually kill the man... but that doesn't mean he shouldn't be held accountable for what happened." Back in action, Spidey hesitates over stopping a purse-snatcher, fearful that he may cause another tragedy. Back home, Peter doesn't know what to do. He recalls that Uncle Ben's death made him swear, "that no innocent person would ever again be made to suffer because Spider-Man had failed to act. It had never occurred to him that anyone would suffer because of Spider-Man's acts." And while Wayne wasn't exactly innocent, "he had suffered because Peter had acted irresponsibly." He ends up having one of those vague discussions with Aunt May where he can't tell her any details because she doesn't know he's Spider-Man, yet she manages to hit the nail on the head, telling him in this case, "Everybody makes mistakes, Peter. You just try to learn from your failures as best you can, and you move on. You'll always get another chance to do better as long as you keep at it."

Meanwhile, Jeannette decides to kick Kent out of the deal and keep any anticipated profits for herself. So even as Spidey sucks it up and gets back into action, proving himself a hero, Kent decides he's not going to be kicked around anymore, buttonholes a TV reporter and gives an interview in which he reveals "that he deliberately pushed his elder brother off the roof of Stockbridge Jewelers because of numerous past frustrations." At Midtown High, Flash crows over Spidey's exoneration but Peter won't let the web-slinger off so easily. "A real hero would have found a way to save Wayne Weisinger" he says, "He would have acted smarter, reacted quicker, or behaved more responsibly... And that's something Spider-Man will have to live with for the rest of his life."

Because these are untold tales, prose stories and utilize the comic book continuity you can analyse them from several different angles and their worth changes depending upon those angles.

 Chiefly this boils down to whether I judge this as a story unto itself or within the context of comic book continuity as it existed back then? What about the fact that I’m here in 2020 evaluating a prose book written in 1990 that’s trying to synch up with comic book stories written in the 1960.

 It boggles the mind. All I can do is write about how I feel.

 I liked this story unto itself and within the context of this book. I think, kind of like the last story, that it doesn’t really integrate into Spider-Man’s comic book history.

 The emotional journey of Peter in this story involves learning that he needs to be careful about how he acts. In this regard it’s rather similar to his lesson from Gwen’s death, which is kind of my problem. This story’s title implies this is in fact the very first time Spider-Man has experienced death ‘on the job’ as it were.

Surely such a thing would weigh on his mind more, surely it’d crop up when he dwells on the list of people he’s seen die or feels guilty about dying. Or at least he’d be reminded of Wayne’s death when Gwen dies.

In the comics of course Wayne has never ever been mentioned. Duh, because he didn’t exist until DeFalco invented him for this story. Of course we could draw comparisons with Sally Avril, a character from AF #15 who died in the comic book version of Untold Tales but whose death went unacknowledged in stories from the 60s-90s.

I think the critical difference there is that (IIRC) Peter wasn’t particularly responsible for her death whereas in the case of Wayne, whilst he didn’t push him off the building, his arrogance really did directly contribute to his death. Plus seeing a man die in such a horrible way, especially if it is the first time he’s ever seen a dead body, would likely leave a bigger impression upon Peter than the nature of Sally’s death, although I must admit it’s been a long time since I read that issue so perhaps I am wrong.

From a continuity stand point this is the minefield you always walk, but at the same time it’d be difficult to generate drama if you didn’t step on those mines occasionally.

I feel DeFalco here wanted to tell a dramatic story that had Peter grapple with a genuinely emotional situation and also took advantage of the nature of this story as a flashback tale.

And frankly he succeeded. If you view this either out of continuity or essentially within an incredibly generalized canon of Spider-Man (i.e. Gwen Stacy died, whether Peter did or didn’t think about Wayne is ambiguous though) the story very much works. I doubt DeFalco or anyone else was honestly feeling any of these stories were going to strictly be canon anyway. However for the record this story happens at some point after ASM #9 because when we get a list of Spider-Man’s opponents they all appeared up to that issue.

 Looking at the story itself its flaws are incredibly minor.

 Some of the dialogue feels old fashioned, but I argue that is likely by design since this is set in an older time period. We go over exposition related to Peter’s origin again, which is more the editor’s fault since we got those details in the first story of the anthology. In fairness revisiting it does serve a greater purpose here because the story is directly ruminating upon the nature of responsibility. In that sense it would’ve been more logical to open the book up with this than the Ant-Man story and I see little reason as to why this couldn’t have in theory happened at an earlier point chronologically. Yeah the Ant-Man story claims Spider-Man’s a new figure on the scene but the passage of time in the first 10 issues of ASM is so vague it’s really not unbelievable that even by issue #9 Spidey might still be considered ‘new’.

 Not only does the story explore (and successfully at that) the theme of responsibility, approaching it from the opposite direction from the lesson Ben’s death imparted, but it also features the supporting cast more. Flash, Aunt May, Jameson, the Bugle and public distrust of Spider-Man are all given notable roles to play in the story, again proving that THIS should’ve opened the book.

 To go back to the theme of responsibility for a moment, perhaps the most nuanced bit of writing in the story is when Peter is on the phone to Jameson. Peter has a really great ethical dilemma. Would it be irresponsible to profit off of Wayne’s death or would it be irresponsible to not profit off of it and use the money to support his Aunt May?

 DeFalco more than any other writer GETS Spider-Man and his depiction of Peter’s internal debate, whilst short, rings utterly true. What gets me is that most of the time whenever I’ve seen this sort of thing done with Peter he’s actually made a different decision, but here DeFalco recognizes that in actuality Peter WOULD consider his responsibilities as the bread winner outweigh what boils down to him merely feeling bad about profiting off a man’s death. It’s not all that different to when he faked photos of Electro to help Aunt May. Yes it’s unethical, but there was a higher responsibility, a greater good at stake.*

 Kent and Jeanette’s subplot, whilst arguably wrapped up unsatisfactorily, does a neat job of evoking something of a daytime drama or even noir story, and in that light fits wonderfully into the brand of stories Lee and Ditko churned out way back at the start.

 In fact of the two opening stories this one more successfully captured that era and by extension the approach of the comic book version of UToSM. Whilst the Ant-Man story was fun, it was the prose equivalent of a typical MTU super hero yarn complete with dodgy pseudo science.

 This story though? Now this is a Spider-Man  story. It has a singular main character (Kent is ultimately a supporting player) and whether he’s in or out of the costume the story is driven by the emotional and human problems faced by the character, not the fantastical super human issues. In classic Spidey manner those two halves of his life bleed over into one another and lack a clear cut divide.

 Really in the Ant-Man story Peter’s personal life would’ve gone mostly unaffected whether he had gotten involved or not. It wasn’t about Peter Parker, it was about Spider-Man. This story is about both.

 Peter needs money to look after himself, his home and Aunt May. So he looks for trouble as Spider-Man and pads out a fight. That gets someone killed which haunts Peter and makes him hesitate to BE Spider-Man, even whilst he reluctantly profits off it as Peter Parker which in turn contributes to his being falsely accused as Spider-Man and kids as school hating on him because he will not defend Spider-Man from these accusations.

 Wham, Bam, DeFalco is the Man. THAT’S a fucking Spidey story right there!

 The only thing for me which really and truly did let this story down wasn’t the fault of the book, but the audio production.

 I’m hoping DeSantos was just off his game for this story, but between this and his prior efforts I think he’s achingly miscast as the narrator of this title. He worked better narrating Stan Lee and Busiek’s forwards than the actual stories. As Aunt May, Kent and Jeanette he wasn’t that bad (actually pretty good as Kent), but his Peter/Spider-Man fails. He can’t even sell the emotion of the non-dialogue bits. He’s not a bad narrator, but not right for this book.

 Over all taken strictly within comics canon there are a lot of contradictions. But taken as it’s own thing or (I suspect) within the context of this one book, this is a knock out story.

 *By the way DeFalco also seamlessly blends humour and tragedy in the scene. Peter’s internal debate and horror at the prospect of profiting off of Wayne’s death leaves him in silence which in turn is misinterpreted by Jameson causing him to raise his offer which in turn causes Peter more internal strife. Just brilliant!

[tarmairons]

re: that last hp ask i got

i know i said i wouldn’t be cross-posting my bellamort/dark au/riddle fam headcanons from twitter but i’ve decided to post a lengthy updated masterpost here after all so ENJOY bon apetit 

1. see the thing is that 90% of my hcs can’t be described with words bc they’re just.. feelings.. aesthetics.. vibes.. vague scenarios that make me feel some sort of way… the dark au has a certain Feel and i just stick a bunch of domestic concepts in there and shake it all up and that’s it shshsh

2. disclaimer: im like 75% sure my self indulgent ramblings won’t make sense so sorry about that

3. i was fully serious that one time i said on twitter that voldemort’s no.1 priority after taking over the wizarding world was doing sth about his snace (snake face) so yeah. first things first he’s not as fugly in the dark au. as mentioned previously he just looks like mr. ralph and probably wears ornate haute couture power suits

4. the public doesn’t actually know who the augurey is for YEARS… they know whoever it is is voldemort’s second in command and sure there’s rumors that he has an heir but nobody knows it’s delphi. this way she doesn’t have to be reclusive and hide away, she just lives her life, studies and trains, masters the art of dark magic, hangs around town etc, and no one suspects anything bc who would think this tiny super friendly innocent looking girl is the dark lord’s kid — her identity isn’t revealed until she’s deemed Ready to publicly take up her position. and when she is revealed it’s a Big Moment bc she’s a drama queen and lives for attention

5. delphi is taller than bellatrix

6. speaking of bellatrix. she’s presumed dead after the battle of hogwarts which turns out to be a cool bonus for the dark side. any leftover resistance? she’ll take care of that and they’ll never see her coming. tbh this seems a lot cooler in my head bc movie bellatrix would not be stealthy enough to stay hidden for years she would probs trip over something and accidentally commit arson within a few days. but yeah sneaky assassin sounds sexy. plus to be super honest i imagine bella is a teensy bit more collected than in the films... no shade at helena y’all know i would die for her but there are in fact things i would change about her bella. so yeah for a while the only people who know she’s alive aside from her immediate family are probs rod and the malfoys

7. hm so. the malfoys…. much to think about. narcissa did lie to voldemort’s face during the battle so logically he should have killed her the moment he realized she knew harry was alive all along. but this is a soft dark au so let’s pretend bellatrix was like hey dude don’t kill my sister maybe and voldemort was like k. i mean no harm done, harry potter is properly dead in this universe after all

8. but seriously tho. the only reason voldemort didn’t yeet narcissa into a wall was for bella’s sake. he’s nice like that, he probably promised her at one point that he wouldn’t violently murder her family. peak romance

9. delphi is surprisingly close with both her parents although with voldemort it’s more of a mentor-student relationship than a parent-child one bc he’s Like That. growing up it was always bella who insisted they treat delphi more like a child and less like a weapon and voldemort wasn’t always happy about that bc he’s emotionally constipated and also never had a childhood. also he’s, like, evil. so yes, reminding voldemort that delphi was her daughter too sometimes got bella in trouble bc we all know of voldemort’s superiority issues. but no bella didn’t stop insisting that delphi deserved an actual childhood and in the end they compromised like functional adults and delphi turned out pretty well for someone raised by 2 of the most terrifying people alive

10. but yeah that’s not to say voldemort and kid delphi never had soft moments. they did. he even picked her up every once in a while. everyone was surprised, bella most of all. she probably cried in the bathroom later bc the softness overwhelmed her. i’m not sure if i mean that in a sarcastic shitpost kind of way or if she was really moved to tears. y’all decide for yourselves

11. delphi looks very very much like bella but she has tom riddley eyes.. so dark they’re nearly black. and soulless. maybe they even flash red when she’s enraged. and she has very aristocratic very controlled tom riddley mannerisms. it’s not until you piss her off and she goes off the rails that the bella side of her personality kicks in

12. delphi gets along really well with the malfoys (except lucius. she thinks he’s pathetic and likes to tease him. in a friendly way but it’s still harsh. she gets that from her mom) esp scorp. scorp thinks this makes him cool at school bc he gets to fist bump the augurey and not get murdered for it

13. speaking of hogwarts. umbridge is scared shitless of delphi and it’s always a school-wide spectacle when the augurey drops by unexpectedly on official business and umbridge starts stuttering and quivering. scorp sometimes makes a point to approach umbridge and delphi when they’re talking and act all chummy-chummy with his cousin just to make himself look powerful and Cool in front of umbridge and the other students

14. i still don’t know whether voldemort would call delphi ‘delphini’ or just ‘delphi’… i imagine he’s a strict stick-up-his-ass kinda father but who knows. he does call bellatrix ‘bella’ but that’s different i guess

15. but THEN AGAIN he does have a gigantic soft spot for delphi too. maybe he slips up every so often and calls her delphi. i’m literally making this shit up as i go along i’m just smashing my mf keyboard and occasionally glancing at my messy hcs notebook. I TOLD YALL i don’t have solid hcs i just have VIBES and AESTHETICS. the only way you’ll get specific hcs out of me is if you ask very specific questions

16. weirdest brotp is delphi and rodolphus. nobody knows where that came from but they get along so well and it confuses everybody

17. we been knew that bella is batshit crazy and criminally insane or whatever but against all odds she is a surprisingly good mother. she’s always been soft for family (narcissa etc) so it makes sense that she would legit die for delphi. they have this super casual bantery relationship YALL GET ME bella is so proud of delphi she’s literally that “my little baby off to destroy people” meme!!! honestly mother-daughter relationships are my goddamn weakness i would die for the two of them

18. delphi has a gf (underdeveloped oc time!) who, for the longest time, doesn’t know who she is dating bc delphi is obviously not allowed to say. she finds out the truth eventually and she is properly freaked out for a very very long time. and since all of these hcs are stupidly soft we’re just gonna keep making them softer: the gf is terrified of delphi’s parents at first (obvs) but they’re both extremely fond of her (well, bella is, voldemort probs doesn’t care all that much about who delphi is dating so long as she’s not of subpar blood status or secretly spying for the opposition ya know. as long as delphi trusts her he does too)

19. no but really voldemort trusts delphi and bella implicitly. with delphi it’s bc he raised her and he trusts her to be loyal bc she knows no other way, she was meant to be an extension of his power etc. but with bella it’s something he learns over time, to trust her judgement bc despite her many many flaws she’s very perceptive and usually right

20. voldemort probably makes more horcruxes. still haven’t decided how this ties in with the fact that he’s now safely immortal again and neither delphi nor bella are. who knows maybe they all do the do and split their souls. much to think about. feel free to send ur thots and ideas my way

21. ya know im basic and always on my bellamort bs and therefore: as the years go by voldemort warms up to bella. not that he wasn’t already extremely fond of her before but he kicks it up a notch. i mean, he’s already taken over the world so it’s high time to start experimenting with other wilder things like Feelings. 80/90 years old isn’t too late to experience Love or whatever. might as well wake up one day and realize you’re completely and utterly in love with the woman you’ve spent the last 50+ years with whew. LIKE to be fair bella knows him better than anyone — they understand each other, they’re familiar with each other’s likes, dislikes, mannerisms, nervous tics etc etc. let’s be real it freaked voldemort out at first, being vulnerable to any degree (not that he let it show) but it just became so easy to tell her things that it became a natural thing to do. and obvs he trusts her to keep everything between them and never judge him for anything so that’s sweet

22. y’all keep asking me for domestic hcs but what can i possibly say?? imagine literally any domestic scenario ever and just think bellamort and i’ve probably imagined that same scenario before. except its sexier bc the world is dark and evil and they live in a dark gloomy super fancy manor. so we have these 2 goths right but they’re in love but in that casual familiar way YALL GET ME and sometimes they even drink coffee together in the mornings or like. do that thing where Person A returns from work late at night and its dark and raining and Person B is already home just chilling and they don’t even have to talk they just go about their nighttime routine but it’s soft and familiar and COMFORTABLE. i clearly dont have enough softness in my life i just. love domestic scenarios bye

23. i forgot everything else i wanted to write bc i got distracted by domesticity. im also thinking about how voldemort absolutely despises the thought of any pda but he’ll take bella by the wrist in public every so often when he wants to get her attention, or like. put his hand on her back. small things but oh so soft

24. hhhh okay i have a LOT to say about the power fam’s fashion choices but it’s hard to explain without pictures. i have a wholeass ppt presentation but i’m not about to upload 20+ slides to tumblr. but i seriously was not kidding when i said voldemort wears fancy suits and yes i have references. meanwhile delphi is a fan of feathers but mostly goes with lowkey military-style outfits.. she’s practical yet ostentatious. bella sticks to a conservative yet undeniably sexy selection of evil looking dresses.. i should make all of these into pinterest boards hmm

25. controversial opinion but i think delphi knows she and voldemort are half bloods. so does bella but that’s a whole other story, she been knew. anyhow yeah delphi was told the truth bc it was better for her to find out from the source rather than hear rumors from the opposition and begin to distrust the foundations of voldemort’s whole empire and voldemort himself

26. i used to absolutely hate fics where bella would eventually call voldemort by his name but now im like FUCK THAT we don’t do guilty pleasures anymore we just stan ridiculous things and that’s that. one day voldemort had a Thought (shocking, i know) and was like. Hm so we have a wholeass child and we’re basically married maybe bella shouldn’t have to call me My Lord for the rest of her life. BUT ONLY IN PRIVATE. THATS BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM it’s nobody’s business. It Is Nobody’s Business

27. speaking of marriage. bella and rod got divorced a few years after the battle. it was just a formality tho let’s be real. they remained very close friends tho!!!!!!!! i think that’s an unpopular opinion among bellamort stans but i genuinely believe bella and rod were always close the way best friends or family are ya know. rod really loves bella but as long as she’s happy he’s happy even if it means her fucking the dark lord on the reg or whatever

28. going back to #6 — when the public finally finds out that bella’s alive they obviously start to wonder about her and voldemort and connect the dots re: delphi etc but nobody ever gets any concrete answers bc there’s never any public pda.. any sort of affection is limited to when it’s just the two of them. and obviously it’s not like voldemort gossips about his private life in tabloid interviews or whatnot. ALSO the whole Bella Is Alive reveal isn’t nearly as dramatic as delphi’s big moment.. it’s more discreet and insidious in that way it implies that she was there hiding in plain sight all along. and if the ministry can keep sth this big a secret, what else are they hiding.. ah classic intimidation tactics of an authoritarian regime

29. i dont think this is ever stated in the CC but in terms of politics and bureaucracy i imagine voldemort has a fancy office in the ministry and spends 99% of his time there and rarely spends any time out and about. he’s almost never seen by anyone, rarely attends events etc. delphi’s the one who handles the day to day shit in the wizarding world. she’s like.. the public relations manager.. between the public and voldemort

30. bella is of similar status within the ministry but that’s just bc people are scared shitless of her. she doesn’t actually hold any political power and she most certainly does not want to, that is not her area of expertise at all

31. delphi is dangerously powerful and i think that’s really sexy of her

32. re: #21 it’s like. as voldemort warms up to bella, she in turn chillaxes a bit with the whole blind devotion thing and becomes bolder with him like. she’ll outright question his decisions or tell him what he should do, make judgement calls etc. and it becomes a regular thing.. turns into this casual companionship ya feel.. i won’t say they become equals bc that’s just unrealistic but he certainly stops treating her like his inferior. he recognizes her value and i daresay her authority and stops treating her like shit all the time Wow Romance Is Alive!! (this sounds like some sort of “douche fuckboi changes for his poor mistreated love interest” schtick but it’s really not that bc they’re both monstrous people who do not deserve any pity so jot that down. they’re horrible and they deserve each other and they eventually do make it work and i am so so happy for them)

33. it is never outright stated that voldemort can’t love. jkr has said that he doesn’t understand love and that it’s just symbolism!!! that he’s the child of a loveless union and grew up without knowing love!!! BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN HE PHYSICALLY CANNOT LOVE thanks for coming 2 my ted talk. i wasn’t aware of this until a few months ago and i was thrilled to find out my soft hcs are not entirely ooc after all

34. THE POINT IS. THEY ARE A SEMI-FUNCTIONAL FAMILY and i just really love soft domestic scenarios so sorry jkr but the dark au is the only canon now and it belongs to me. everybody has feelings and everything is soft. i’d like to pitch an idea for a kuwtk style reality show but it’s these 3 sociopaths under one roof navigating family life and wizarding world politics

35. to finish i’d like to apologize for downplaying the fact that all 3 of the people i woobified in this post are psychotic murderers and tyrants etc

—— i’ll be updating this if/when i remember anything i forgot AND ALSO send me ur thoughts and comments and constructive criticism etc pls pls pls 

—— follow me on twitter and also curiouscat bc i get a scary amount of q’s about voldemort’s sex life thank you and goodbye

edits:

36. in this household we stan dark haired delphi. no i will not be taking any criticism regarding this particular fact

37. bella and voldemort never get married. obviously, because that’s a disgustingly romantic and pointless thing to do. it’s sentimental and unnecessary (well, voldemort thinks so, bella might just disagree but she’s not about to force his hand) BUT that’s not to say they’re not basically an old married couple anyway. AND as much as voldemort thinks love is weakness or whatever he knows this, that they’re about as close as two people can get. SO if he just so happens to gift her a ring.. well it’s a purely symbolic gesture but the implication is definitely there

38. it’s the horcrux ring. he trusts her that much. m y  h e a r t

[snkpolls]

SnK S3E15 Poll Results (Manga Reader Version)

The poll closed with 321 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results of the manga reader poll. Anime only watchers are suggested not to read if you do not wish to be spoiled about certain events! Anime only viewers, click here to view your poll results!

RATE THE EPISODE 308 Responses

Overall the fandom enjoyed the episode, with the vast majority of votes being at either a 4 or 5.

Best ep of the season thus far, Bert's monologue/transformation was amazing. Some fantastic VA work by Tomohisa and Inoue as well. CG CT also looked far better than I thought he would. These next few episodes are going to kill me. I can't wait.

Fantastic episode. Bertholdt's monologue was the best part.

Great episode, very dramatic, awesome OST. I am not looking forward to the next few eps, except for Floch's villain origin story!

Can’t wait for the next episode, this one was so good!

Editing was a bit choppy, voice lines cut half a second too quick a few times.

First ep of S3P2 to get a 10/10 from me <3

The animation was pretty lacking in this episode. R&B’s running animation on the wall felt pretty lazy, there was that reused shot of the beast Titan’s throw from season 2, Bertholdt’s character design felt inconsistent as well as Zeke’s. They really need to get the old team back on the animation cause the current team clearly doesn’t know how to handle aot. It’s getting on my nerves.

The episode was absolutely awesome.

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT? 308 Responses

The Bertl Bomb™ was the scene that respondents were most excited about. Following behind that was Mikasa’s brief skirmish with Bertolt, and closely behind that was Armin and Bertolt’s shouting match on the rooftops.

BERUTORUTO=GOD

I’m mikasasexual

As a huge Bertholdt fan, it was so great to see Bert as the centre of attention for once. It makes me really sad knowing what comes next.

Bert bomb made my bomb go off

I love Bertholdt's resolve. This scene made him one of my favorite characters.

Bertholdt vs. Mikasa was so fire 🔥

One of the best episodes without a doubt. Bertholdt's monologue before transforming was even more impactful than in the manga.

Explosion aftermath was disappointing. I expected a sea of fire. The one they gave us doesn't feel like something big just happened

That "Levi's 5 seconds of screen time" was good, too!

Why isn't "Mikasa comforting and protecting Armin" an option for favorite moment in this episode? Because those were definitely my favorite moments in the episode

The partner gesture between Reiner and Bertl is the death of me

Am I the only one who get's goosebumps ��in the scene before he transformed himself into the colossalus titan and said: 'I feel like, no matter how this all plays out, I can accept whatever happens. That's right, nobody's in the wrong. There's nothing we could do. Because this world....is just...that cruel.' This scene was impressive back in the manga and I'm proud how good Tomohisa Hashizume nailed it. He's an amazing voice actor, especially for Bertholdt.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE APETITAN AND YOUSEEBIGGIRL REARRANGES? 296 Responses

Overall the fandom was excited about the new versions of familiar songs with 71% of respondents feeling that they were “totally epic!” 18% agree that the rearranges were good, but that they can’t surpass the original versions.

The soundtrack was lit.

Music was awesome!

Ngl I've watched the episode many times bc the OST during some scenes is just SO GOOD!!

WHO WON THE SHOUTING MATCH? 308 Responses

Over ¾ of the fandom agree that Bertolt dominated the shouting match on the rooftop.

I feel Armin won the "debate" because Bertolt, in his zeal to convince himself that he wanted to kill people he used to see as friends, wasn't making any sense

HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT BERTOLT’S DEVELOPMENT AT THIS POINT? 308 Responses

46% of respondents were happy to see how far Bertolt had come as a character at this point in the story, while 34% were just happy to get more dialogue and thoughts from him. A small percentage had been curious where his character would go from here.

Godtolt on the way

He ditched the alter ego built up out of guilt, and it's cool to see him truly one of the strongest characters fighting off Mikasa while in human form

I wish we had more Bertl development! He could’ve been really complex, but just isn’t due to a lack of screentime. Compared to someone like Reiner or Annie, this was his one moment of pure raw character development

He reveals his true warrior colors

I loved it, one of my favourite chapters because of his resolve and how he himself was surprised about it.

He's only moving forward as a character and does what needs to be done. Bertholdt, your doing amazing sweetie!

With all this development just to kill him off was heart breaking.

Honestly, I’m so proud of him. He was amazing and it’s so nice to see a confident Bert. I don’t think it’s a development worth praising in terms of moral standards but it suited and made sense for his character

I feel like this is where his character peaked. It was pretty flat before season 2

I just don’t like bertolt in generalI really like his development but it's a shame that he severely lacked screen time before this episode

I'm not really a fan of Bertolt so I'm neutral on this

I still hate his traitorous guts and can't wait for THAT scene to be animated

Fucking loved it. It's one of my favorite chapters (and now episodes) just because he's talking so much and he's badass af. My boy is finally shining!

HOW DID YOU FEEL ABOUT ARMIN BLUFFING ABOUT ANNIE A SECOND TIME? 306 Responses

Just over half of respondents feel that Armin should have tried a different tactic with Bertolt, while 46% felt that it was worth another shot to try and manipulate Bertolt’s feelings for Annie again.

Has Armin ever convinced anyone of anything they didn't already believe?

He was so used to Bertholdt’s behavior and there was nothing that would’ve made Armin think Bertholdt would have the reaction that he did

Lame. He didn't use much of intelligence here.

It's low, I'm happy it didn't work again

He learned some pretty vital things - how far the Warriors are willing to go, what their priorities are, what Bert's state of mind is, and where his loyalties truly lie. I don't imagine Armin went down that track solely because he thought it would have the exact same effect, but rather to 'check something' - exactly the same as Bertolt.

I think it not only was a good attempt to take (it worked before, why not try it again), but I also think it is incredibly important to show Armin's flaws. Yes, he's an amazing strategist. He's also still sixteen and not always entirely confident. Having Armin make mistakes like relying on old ploys that worked keeps his character more grounded and realistic

Smart people tend to use the same tactics over and over again as long as they're successful and for good reason. After all, why wouldn't you use the same tactic if you know it brings success? If it ain't broke, don't fix it. It's only when said strategy or tactic doesn't work where the individual would entertain the prospect of changing it or never using it again.

That’s Very Unfortunate!

WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT CGI COLOSSAL TITAN? 306 Responses

36% of respondents aren’t very impressed with the CGI colossal titan, while 29% actually found the effect to be pretty awesome! 13% feel it’s disturbing and a small 7% just find it cringeworthy.

Alright

CGI doesn't bother me. What bothers me is how animators overly rely on it. Several decades ago animators made great masterpieces without cgi, all by hand. I understand using it because it makes things easier, but exceeding quality should still be top priority. If you can't make it better with CGI, then go old school and do it right.

Decent but could be better

U can still notice it is CGI but I think their CGI has gotten better compared to some of their earlier uses of it

Doesn't fit with the art style, which is as bad as unfair splitting potatoes

Not too bad but could definitely have been better. Understandable since there has only been one full body shot of it before and that was a sharp backwards, down looking angle.

Don’t really care much for cgi complaints, animating that would be a lot of work, their efforts are better elsewhere

It was necessary and didn't look appallingly bad.

I don't get why people hate it so much? I think it's fine

I hated it in season 2 and I hate it more now

Bad

Don't like CGI anything in any anime so take from that what you will

Most angles he looks fine! The only part that he looked off was when we got the face shot of him panning out to the rest of his body

Thought it looked solid. There were some really great shots of him this ep imo. Hopefully the action bits will look as good, and they mix in some 2D shots as well.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE 104TH RIDING ON TITAN EREN? 306 Responses

Over half of the fandom agree that this detail is something that’s very adorable, while 22% feel it’s just pretty neat. A combined 21% of respondents either feel it’s not that big of a deal or simply don’t care about it.

>AMJCS who cares?

Good boy protecting his friends? Hell Yeah!

I want to ride pieck - Not an innuendo, i just want a go in one of her turrets

It's gay

Lads you would never get me off that thing, I'd be saddling him up to go grocery shopping

Save me a seat guys!!

HOW WELL DID THE EPISODE ADAPT THE CORRESPONDING CHAPTERS? 306 Responses

Manga readers are overall happy with the adaptation of chapters 77 and 78, with over 90% saying that it was close to being perfectly done.

DID MARCO’S DEATH AFFECT YOU AS MUCH AS IT DID IN THE MANGA? 305 Responses

41% of respondents felt more heartbroken to see Marco’s death play out in the anime, while 31% say they felt more sympathetic toward Marco. 14% weren’t affected when this scene played out in either story-telling medium.

About the same level, still utterly heartbreaking, though

DEATH TO THE TITAN TRIO!

Didn't feel as much. Not because it was a bad adaptation, but just because I've already read it and knew what went down.

I felt more sorry for RBA than Marco in this version

I still had lot of emotions with the adaptation, but there's no compare to experiencing it for the first time

I was absolutely sobbing when I read it in the manga. Anime-wise I was more prepared to handle the scene

Watching Marco die again reminds me of why, even in current manga, I still completely and utterly LOATHE/DESPISE/HATE RBA. No, I don't care about their "tragic backstory", they don't deserve empathy of any kind.

It had the same impact when I first watched the trailer for the Lost Girls OVA, which spoiled me his death

It was tough to watch, but it was necessary to deepen Reiner, Bertolt, Annie (and Marco)'s characters. It was very well done, dramatically

Oh fuck it was WAY WORSE animated. Actually hearing his cries and screams is something that can never be duplicated in written form

I did not anticipate being as affected as I was by the Marco flashback. That doesn’t give me hope for how I’m going to handle the rest of the RtS arc. The emotions of the characters are being portrayed very well this season.

NOW THAT WE’VE HAD A CHANCE TO LISTEN TO ZEKE HAVE MORE DIALOGUE, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF HIS VOICE? 305 Responses

The majority of the fandom believe that Zeke’s seiyuu is a good fit for his character, although over half of the fandom had expected his voice to sound a bit different. 10% feel it wasn’t the best choice, while a small sliver of respondents don’t care for the voice at all.

I can't unhear DIO. Thanks Zeke, thanks Koyasu.

Zeke's VA also voices a lovely, kind character in Violet Evergarden, so his lines are making me really, really uncomfortable

WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT PIECK’S TITAN VOICE? 307 Responses

30% of respondents are excited about Pieck’s titan voice, while 28% feel it’s not what they expected to hear. 18% find the voice “acceptable” while 17% want to wait and hear more before making a final verdict.

Pieck's voice was unexpected in that it was terrifying, much like Ymir's Titan voice

Holy shit. I'm gonna hear it in my nightmares

I rabu Piku.

REGARDING CURRENT MANGA EVENTS, DO YOU THINK REINER STILL WANTS TO STAY TRUE TO HIS PROMISE TO YMIR? 308 Responses

Nearly half of the fandom believe that Reiner would still like to honor his promise to Ymir, but feel that he will never actually get to pull through. 15% believe that he’s still determined to save Historia no matter what, and 18% believe that he’s actually stopped caring about his promise (or perhaps just Historia in general) altogether.

Good question. I really want to have a scene with him facing Historia, his reaction to her pregnancy should be interesting

He doesn't want to save HISTORIA because he doesn't know her. The one he wanted to save was KRISTA. But she is already "dead"

I think Reiner has done what he needed to

I'm not sure, I think his main concerns are the kids and stopping Eren

It has to be real low on his priority list right about now given the circumstances

Of course not, Reiner only cares about his own manpain

He still calls her Krista and she probably has already chosen a side most likely Yeagerist

ARMIN HAD WISHED FOR A CHANCE TO NEGOTIATE AT THIS POINT, SIMILAR TO CURRENT MANGA EVENTS. IS THIS PROOF THAT HE HASN’T BEEN CHANGED BY BERTOLT’S MEMORIES? 308 Responses

44% don’t want to say either way whether Armin’s pre-titan behavior is indicative of the influence that Bertolt may or may not have over the Armin we know in the current manga. 39% believe that this is proof Eren’s words to Armin were total B.S., and 12% think this isn’t really proof of anything.

Armin Has always been the diplomat, while Eren is a man of force. Mikasa is in between. It has always been that way.

Past and future are influenced the same when paths are concerned so there's no way to tell.

I don’t think it’s enough to prove or disprove but this is an interesting idea

I don't get this 'changed' shit. Of course having access to someone else's memories has its own influence on a person, but that's true of anyone on the planet who's read a memoir as well. Everything has its effect. The titan shifter thing is obviously a bit more invasive than that, but it doesn't mean he's now suddenly possessed by Beartoto's fucking undead spirit.

I'd like to think it is but with everything Isayama's been throwing at us from out of left field who knows

he's always wished for negotiation, but he seems to have changed in his methods for negotiation. armin used to be more abrupt and upfront, whereas now he seems more tentative

No, he wasn't chanced that much. He understands RBA better and has more sympathy for Annie (maybe even has a crush on her) but it has nothing to do with being a slave.

SIMILARLY, MIKASA POINTS OUT HOW BERTOLT FEELS LIKE A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON. ARE THE MEMORIES OF HIS PREDECESSOR AFFECTING HIM IN THIS ARC? 306 Responses

Over half of the fandom feel that Bertolt’s current behavior at this point in the series is of his own will, and not influenced by any prior holders of the Colossal Titan. 38% think it’s possible he’s being influenced by memories of his predecessor(s) at this time, while a small percentage feel that he is definitely being influenced by someone else’s memories.

He was badass but I think he was affected by memories of the previous CT owner.

I think that Mikasa thinks he’s acting like a different person because he is. I think this is what Bertholdt is really like but with the 104th he was playing a role so he didn’t get too attached to them.

Still wondering if the "he seemed like a different person" comment was a note about development or supposed to foreshadow something about the Titans influencing their hosts.

I think it’s original Ymir controlling him through the paths

Probably. It seems like a bit of a drastic change to go from quiet, self-deprecating and remorseful to cold, outspoken, and trying to morally justify his actions. It's just too drastic a change.

Confidence boost is completely irrelevant to paths.

We don’t even know Bert’s previous predecessors!

Nope, that's have something to do with "character development", people change sometimes after time and grown more indepented and strong of their own shadow.

I always thought of it more as Bertie finally coming down on a side and the pair picking up on that. He was always so meek and indecisive, but now he's been forced to make a choice and to do it he has to shed his old skin and become more ruthless.

Not at all he ditched his guilt that made up the act they knew him for.

WHAT SCENE ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO IN THE PREVIEW? 307 Responses

The overwhelming majority of respondents are looking forward to the Survey Corps’ suicide charge against the Beast Titan and his flying boulders. Nearly 30% are looking forward to the moment that Levi gives Erwin his promise to kill the Beast Titan. A small percentage are most looking forward to Armin and Jean decide who’s going to lead the 104th to victory.

I am not ready for the next two episodes

I’m gonna get my ASS FUCKED SO HARD I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. THERES GONNA BE SHIT EVERYWHERE. ERWINS GONNA FUCKING DIE. LEVIS GONNA BE SAD.

fuck next week's shit is good, hype

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

The "predecessor's memory affecting current shifter" is, as far as I'm aware, just a theory that I don't buy into. I've only seen a person "changed" because of the Founding Titan's vow. Otherwise, the shifter's personality remains the same. Armin has always been an advocate for talking and negotiation. We see this in the Trost arc when the Garrison nearly kill Eren with that cannonball. So no, I don't think anyone's memories are "affecting" anyone, including current Eren.

Loved pretty much everything in this episode except for the CGI CT. Didn't expect to see uncensored Reiner, which was weird because Mikasa cutting off Bert's ear was more censored. And I'm a bit disappointed we didn't see more shots of Bert with his V fringe off his forehead. He looked so cool in the manga!

This episode gave me anxiety 'cause I know what we'll going to deal in the next three ones. The soundtrack gave intensity in every scene that its put on it, plus the fantastic job of the VA, perfect work. And just thinking about how the next episodes will be.... *goosebumps*

Wit studio handled the cgi very well imo. It's very difficult to animate this action heavy arca with rubble, smoke, odm scenes etc. and I think they are adapting the manga very well with the right pacing per episode which is also a challenge to fit within 20 minutes.

Bertolt is best boi and this episode was the best of all 3. He deserved to survive and mature up. Hashizume nailed him JUST RIGHT and his interactions with Reiner this episode were on point. The scene where he outsmarted Armin and countered Mikasa was worthy of applause.

i wish it wasn’t too rushed some moments aren’t as emotional as they should be

mikasa looked so good this episode and i'm so happy with how wit isn't screwing her over

After seeing this episode and Marco's death, it makes me sad that Reiner lost his pal Bertolt. They should be suffer bois together. Even still, some of the animation this episode was reallyy not great, so I rated the episode a 4.

Bertolt has proved on this episode that he's one of the best character of the series

I miss berthold so much and seeing him at his best was awesome but it’s really hard knowing what’s going to happen next

This is shaping up to be the best season of Attack On Titan. Cheers for more!

zeke’s beard is the tenth titan shifter

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 295 Responses

Thank you to everyone who participated! We’ll see you again in a few days! 

[louandhazaf]

Annual Writing Self Evaluation

1. List of works published this year: 

All the Silver Moons (Tomlinshaw)

Back to School Again (Niall/Hot Luke)

Thinking Out Loud (Larry)

Vision of a Reckless Love (Liam/Zedd)

Quiet Ones (Ziam)

Big Dicked Bottoms Make the Rockin’ World Go Round (Larry)

beneath the sound of hope (Larry)

Tell Me It’s the Strongest Shape (Louis/Nick/Elgar)

The Only One To Get It (Larry)

Just Say the Word (Larry)

Theory of Evolution (Larry)

Plus 4 100-word drabbles

Most of this year I felt like I was not being very productive with my writing, but putting together this list was the first time I realized that I did actually post a whole lot of fics this year. A lot of them were shorter than in years past, but I did have a fair amount of output, even if I didn’t reach my word count goal and there were many fics I gave up on, or put to the side. But, overall I’d put a tick in the ‘positive’ box because I did accomplish a lot and I’m proud of this year’s fics!

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

Far and away what I’m most proud of this year is Tell Me It’s the Strongest Shape. It’s the longest thing I’ve ever written, and the first time writing a poly fic, and with a character who is not well known in the fandom. I love these characters so much--flaws and all--and it was important to me that I told their story correctly.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

Hmmm, I wouldn’t say that I’m not proud of Vision of a Reckless Love, but it’s the one that I’m really not sure if I nailed. Looking back on it, I think I wanted to explore the reasons why the events played out the way they did, and I ended up with something a little more plot-based than I realized I wanted. It’s not a bad fic, but normally when I want to write about something, I work through a lot of The Stuff while I’m writing so that I can stop thinking about it, and this one is still bouncing around my head so I’m not sure I did a great job working through The Stuff. (Which is a me problem, and not a fic problem--I still stand behind the fic, but I didn’t get what I wanted out of it.)

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

I love this bit of Tell Me It’s the Strongest Shape for a few reasons. I love the growth shown in regards to Louis feeling more confident about the sex stuff, I love how gently Elgar prompts Louis into communicating with him, and the way that my brave, brave Louis is still not always ready to put himself out there.

Elgar didn’t particularly want to give Louis an out but he found himself saying, “Maybe you were just tired, but it felt like something was wrong. And if it was something, I’d like to know.” After they got home, Louis hadn’t been snuggly like he got when he was tired, like he was this morning, curled at Elgar’s side. He’d been prickly and non-communicative.

“It’s nothing,” Louis said.

“I don’t quite believe you. Seemed like something at the time.”

Louis shrugged against him. With a big sigh, he sat up and turned around so he was in Elgar’s lap. “Hi,” he said. He bit his lip and rolled his hips.

Elgar clenched his thighs to keep from bucking up. “Hey you.”

Louis rolled his hips again. Elgar placed his hands on Louis’ hips out of instinct as Louis kissed under his jaw and along the column of his throat. Louis was awfully good at this particular route of distraction. Elgar would have to stay strong.

“Lou. Lou, are you sure? I’d rather we talk about it.”

“Nah.” There were another series of kisses and another round of Elgar using his super human skills to stay still. “It’s nothing now, anyway.”

Elgar squeezed his hips to still them. “It was something.”

Louis stopped what he was doing. He sat back on Elgar’s knees and rolled his eyes.

“Do we have to? It’s uh…” Louis fixed his eyes on something behind Elgar’s shoulder. “It’s embarrassing now and honestly not a big deal, so…”

“Seems like you’re making it into an awfully big deal for something that was nothing.”

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

I think all the comments on Tell Me It’s the Strongest Shape. I was so nervous to post it and then everyone who commented was so lovely. I loved everyone who said that they liked it even though they didn’t know who Elgar was. I loved everyone who said that it was a good representation of an actual polyamorous relationship. I loved everyone who said they were moved by it in some way.  

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

June, July, August, and December were really hard for me. December always is because my schedule becomes so erratic, and the summer because, well... I’m going to chalk it up to spending that time doing some hard thinking about how my words were coloring my characters, and how I needed to structure the story, and telling myself that I could, in fact, finish it, even if it was hard. I had planned on finishing Tell Me It’s the Strongest Shape by the end of March, and I hit a hard wall and it was super frustrating to not make much progress when I felt like I was ‘behind’ on my own schedule.

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

I was really surprised that I finished my girl direction fic, Just Say the Word. I had tried and failed a few times to write girl direction before, and then with some looming deadlines, I thought I was going to have to drop from the fest. But then it all came together rather quickly!

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

I think this year was a lot about patience. TMISTT took so much longer than I thought it would. And I had planned to write a 90s Smashing Pumpkins-based fic for @fullonlarrie‘s birthday in ‘17, and it just never solidified in my mind, so it took a solid year for beneath the sound of hope to be posted. So, I hope to remember that in the future, that it might just take some time to come up with the right plot for the right characters. 

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

I hope to not be as hard on myself when things don’t go as planned. I hope to challenge myself, and play more. I hope I can stop, or lessen, comparing myself to others. 

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

Oh, wow. I have so many. @jiksax was an amazing beta and cheerleader for TMITSS. It literally wouldn’t exist without her. And her own writing is so amazingly compact and powerful that it’s a joy to try and learn from. @gettingaphdinmomo and @myownsparknow always always always make my fics better. @fullonlarrie is willing to talk fic to me all day every day. And all of my group chats and friends on tumblr who are the best cheerleaders a writer could ask for!

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

yes, of course, always.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

I think the only wisdom I have this year is that you just have to do it, and then keep doing it until it’s done.

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

I’m doing the big bang this year, which is very scary. I want to finish the sequel to Swallow My Words. I’d love to do an advent fic next year. 

14. Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read.

@fullonlarrie @allwaswell16 @gaycousinlarry

*All answers should be about works published in 2018. Also, you can skip any questions you hate or don’t want to answer, but please leave them on the list so that others can do them if they want.

(also, here’re my responses from 2016, 2017)

[impracticaldemon]

Interesting take and analysis! Does that mean you’re an active shipper now or you just found a new respect for the ship (Okichi)? I’d also like to get your rankings on the ships (I see this thrown out a lot before so thought I’d ask)!

Thank you, Anon!  I appreciate the encouragement.

I’m still not an active OkiChi shipper, but I’m far less ambivalent about it – it feels more real and more plausible to me now.  I’m finally satisfied that I understand how Souji and Chizuru ended up where they did, both physically and emotionally. I know that a lot of the story was there before, but it’s as if some of the gaps have been filled in now. 

I think I’ve always been put off by Souji’s style of put downs, many of which I perceive as too harsh to be called “teasing” when aimed at Chizuru (who was frightened and had no hope of fighting back). I’m just not attracted by that type of character.  KW reduced some of the harshness, and put a little more emphasis on Souji’s interactions with Chizuru; EB put the late-game personal, romantic and sexual aspects of the ship solidly on the map for me. I admire the intensity.  

I feel that OkiChi was unfairly blessed with romantic CGs in EB, but I am pleased on behalf of the many OkiChi shippers I know! (Just envious…)

Ships & Ranking

An acquaintance on Steam (the PC gaming site) commented that she understood where I was coming from with my character/route preferences, but asked “don’t you find them kind of boring?”  I thought it was a legitimate question, in the sense that it highlighted how personal preference and experience can shape your views.

My favourite characters, from a strictly “who is attractive to me” and “which ships strike a chord with me” pov, are Saito, then Harada / Hijikata / Yamazaki (order not clear), then Souma (I’m still thinking about where Souma fits into this).  I find these characters soothing to my jangled hyper-awareness, and I perceive them as a good fit for Chizuru as I perceive Chizuru.  Whether or not that means I’m looking for “boring” is a matter of perspective – but I understand the question!

I’m capable of significant objectivity, but I don’t believe an unbiased ranking is possible for anyone.  Personal attraction or dislike, romantic or otherwise, will always influence your decisions, and we’re all attracted to different things (some more common than others).  So I’m going to rank my favourite ships, and say why, and hope that everyone will take it all with a grain of salt. This is about my perceptions, and doesn’t invalidate anyone else’s.

SaiChi:  My OTP (in the literal sense of the expression).  Saito is calmly protective of Chizuru from the beginning.  He would have killed her under orders, but I’m strongly of the opinion that he didn’t expect Hijikata to give that order.  Saito generally seems to disapprove of making Chizuru any more uncomfortable, embarrassed, or frightened than she already is.  He also tends to treat her as a person, not as “a girl” or “an annoyance”.  He answers her questions, and doesn’t mock or undermine her efforts, although he is blunt when she makes mistakes.  Saito’s direct intervention with Sannan (about Chizuru not being a burden) is one of my favourite scenes. Saito may be reserved to the point of being cold (debatable, especially in KW), but his actions are almost uniformly kind, right from the start.  

There are indications of him caring about Chizuru’s well-being from very early on.  The scenes where he drinks Chizuru’s blood are the only ones in Hakuouki that are both sexy and rather cuddly (and frankly, this says a lot about how he feels).  He also fusses less over the whole thing, despite being apologetic, which I think Chizuru would prefer.

Saito and Chizuru actually talk more than it might seem (especially given that Saito doesn’t talk much in general), and Saito seriously considers and values Chizuru’s input.  I love that EB brought in some of my all-time favourite scenes from Stories of the Shinsengumi. I don’t care if it’s a rather shy, awkward relationship at times, it’s the ultimate slow-burn fic of Hakuouki, for me.

… Okay, better stop before I write (more of) an essay on this topic.  Or a 90-chapter story.

HaraChi / HijiChi / YamaChi / SouChi – Ships I ship

HaraChi:  His very earliest treatment of Chizuru is oddly uneven (a little less so in KW), but my headcanon is that he knows he’s prone to caring too much, and is trying too hard to guard against it.  His route always felt realistic to me, given the time period and Chizuru’s background.  Sano is flawed, but I find him very human, and I think Chizuru finds him both kind and comforting.  Plus, somebody needed to say this:

I’m immensely grateful that EB significantly changed the first part of the HaraChi interactions in Edo. It works SO much better now.  Sano’s a sweetheart, and he makes Chizuru his priority more than most of the others.  This is the route and character that I never expected to love as much as I did (originally); now I love it more. (And he has such awesome banter with Shiranui, and snark for Kazama. ♥)

HijiChi:  Hijikata should never have left Chizuru behind when he went to Ezo. Now that that’s off my chest… I like the ship because it feels realistic given Chizuru’s overall personality. Chizuru’s crush on Hijikata (from the beginning) makes sense to me, and I can see how his charisma, devotion to the Shinsengumi, and obvious disregard for his own needs eventually converts a crush into love.  He’s a difficult man not to admire, if you value the fiercely responsible type (which I do).  I don’t know if EB added as much to this route as to some others, but I definitely enjoyed seeing Hijikata with Souma and Nomura, and I liked the extra historical details.  The main flaw to this ship is Hijikata’s refusal to concede the validity of Chizuru’s feelings and wishes until he is driven to it.  I do appreciate the fact that he didn’t “fall for” Chizuru right away (there’s a big difference between 16 and 28!); on the other hand, he clearly came to care about her from early on.

YamaChi:  I think I enjoyed the KW portion of this story better than the EB portion; something about Yamazaki’s EB route was not quite as satisfying for me – but I’ll be playing the route again for a second impression.  I like the fact that EB established Yamazaki as a superb warrior as well as a caring medic.  The affection in this ship was endearing, and they seemed like a natural fit.  I thought the ending was solid, and the whole demonstrated a deep, ongoing commitment to each other.  It doesn’t hurt that Yamazaki is one of my favourite Hakuouki characters.

SouChi:  Chizuru getting to be a senpai was great.  If you want the wildest roller-coaster of feels and angst from start to finish, this is the route. I think I like this ship because of the honest respect for Chizuru and what she does, and Souma’s commitment to the Shinsengumi.  I’ll save my comments about the route itself for another time (there were aspects of the EB route that I was so-so on).  SouChi, like YamaChi feels like a solid, believable relationship with clear affection and respect on both sides, and the attraction resonates for me.  Also, I adore the Souma / Nomura friendship.  KW & EB did a terrific job with Nomura as a character. [And I can’t get over the way they brought so many of the others into this route – aaaaahhhhhh!!!! so cool!]

Random screencap of some cuties.  (Yes, okay, I put Saito in there – he did give Souma excellent advice, however.  Also, as stern as he was, he took the guys seriously, unlike pretty much everyone else they ran into.)

ShinChi / HeiChi / OkiChi / IbaChi Good points, but I don’t really ship them

ShinChi:  I liked the route concept for EB – Shinpachi having to deal with having been made into a fury, but not wanting to make Chizuru feel awful either.  I felt like poor Shin could have used a friend like Sano around even just to yell at, or drink with, or something. I really liked the idea of trying to fight his final battles without resorting to fury form, and I liked the watchful presence of the Oni.  And Shin finally got properly recognized for being a top-notch swordsman!  Problem is, I’m kind of neutral on the ship.  I never quite got past the brother/sister feel to it.  On the other hand, the epilogue was sweet and I’m glad they got there, so a replay is definitely in order (on Steam, since I’ve played it on my Vita).  I might change my mind on this one.

HeiChi:  I’m “positive-neutral” on HeiChi and always have been.  I don’t find the ship compelling, despite the reasonable argument that it can be seen as healthy and more “equal”. To be honest, I got a strong sense from the beginning of Hakuouki that Chizuru liked Heisuke, and appreciated his cheerfulness, but was *attracted* to Hijikata and the others.  The ship’s probably fine, objectively, although Heisuke does leave Chizuru behind to follow his aspirations with Itou, which always troubled me.  Heisuke’s a sweetie, but I don’t “feel” the romantic ship.  I sympathize with Heisuke, always trying and trying to come into his own, and make the decisions that are right for him, but there’s a sense of immaturity-despite-best-efforts that doesn’t work for me.  I leave HeiChi in the competent hands of those who love it! (And hope that my HeiChi stories make up a little bit for my personal ambivalence.)

OkiChi:  … I’ve said enough about OkiChi.  I leave it to those who love it best and write really cool fanfiction about it.  It’s a big change for me to move OkiChi up this far on my list (partly Shinkai, partly having friends who’ve been working on me with OkiChi!).

IbaChi:  Not a bad ship, or route, but left me neutral.  Having gone down the path with the Demon Arm, and the way it and Iba and then Chizuru were intertwined, I felt like there could have been a bit more to it.  I would have preferred Takeda to be a more well-rounded villain.  I didn’t feel a strong Iba-Chizuru connection in KW; I felt like Iba was pushing Chizuru to feel and remember things.  I kept wanting Iba to be a little more honest and a lot more direct.  There were upsides and downsides to both this ship and this route, and I’m in the middle.  The ending was good, and I liked that final CG (Iba looked really good).  This is another ship I’m going to leave to those who really love Iba as a character – I know you’ll do great with it! :)

KazaChi / SanChi /SakaChi*I don’t ship them, but I can see the possibilities, to a point* except SakaChi which I just don’t ship

KazaChi:  Maybe.  I still can’t wrap my head around the arrogance.  Smug doesn’t work for me, especially when it’s all one-way – it’s part of why I still struggle with OkiChi.  I’ve come to the conclusion that I do better with modern AUs for both OkiChi and KazaChi.  KW and EB provided some good KazaChi moments, and I really, truly feel for Kazama toward the end of EB (which is much more like Movie 2 than the original game or the anime).  @hidetheremote et al, this one’s yours, and I will continue to do my best to contribute from time to time!  I actually do have a soft spot for KazaChi in its end-state – Kazama does start to respect and care about Chizuru for herself, eventually (when is a matter of opinion).  I don’t think loving another person will ever come easy for him, but I have the feeling he’ll try, and he’s a very competent man (Oni).

SanChi:  This is another one where I think I preferred KW to EB, but it requires another play-through.  The route itself was rather fascinating, although I think it over-complicated itself toward the end.  Sannan and Kaoru (and Kodo) in a dismal castle full of furies – this is some serious Gothick.  The atmosphere was very well done.  Sannan as a ship with Chizuru – hard to get my head around.  And yet.  I couldn’t help but feel that tug on my heartstrings that said “Sannan is truly a tragic figure and deserves some happiness.”  Plus, he’s a damn good tactician and devoted to his cause.  Don’t ship SanChi, but still want Sannan to be loved and appreciated.  Hmmm.

SakaChi:  I can’t bring myself to like this ship or find it believable (though definitely more so in EB than in KW).  Everyone has their types, and Sakamoto is the exact opposite of mine.  He set my teeth on edge from (literally) the first time I saw him on-screen.  I know my opinion of this ship is biased, but there are just so many reasons I don’t ship SakaChi.  If you love Sakamoto / SakaChi, then I’m kind of glad, because I like every character to have their fans.  However, there’s probably no point reading my comments below unless you’re honestly curious about my perspective. I’m trying to outline my issues with the ship, not convince others that they’re wrong.  (I mean this – don’t let me upset you.  If you like something, despite seeing some of the flaws, and you respect other people’s preferences without hate, then stick with what you like!)

CG:  one of the scenes that I did like a lot

First, I found the entire development of SakaChi in KW totally unbelievable, and Sakamoto was disrespectful of Chizuru’s personal space to an extent that I’d call harassment.  He made Harada look tame, as far as flirting goes, and I’m firmly of the belief that Harada treated her personal preferences with more respect.  As a specific example (albeit from EB), Sakamoto asked to “borrow” Chizuru’s lap.  When she was taken aback, he settled in anyway, then said “oh come on, it’s not like I’m violating you.”  Just… no.  This excuse is used way too much in the real world for me not to flinch here.  I’ve seen too many women have to deal with this, and I don’t like it.

Second, Chizuru’s loyalty to the Shinsengumi is part of what makes up her character, for me.  So I struggled to understand why she got so involved with Sakamoto in the first place, given his total and complete disdain for the Shinsengumi (not unjustified disdain, but not likely to appeal to Chizuru coming from a guy who’s pretty much a stranger).  Chizuru also seemed too quick to let go of the fact that Sakamoto was a gun smuggler and general arms’ dealer whose weapons killed an awful lot of her friends (although at least she wasn’t altogether happy about it).  

** Must admit that I did better with Sakamoto as a character / person once I went and learned a lot more about him and the situation in Tosa.  I already had some background knowledge, but I definitely improved on it.  Sakamoto’s balancing act between powerful Satsuma and powerful Choshu, while working around Tosa’s locally powerful / abusive daimyo, was fascinating.

Third, although I found Sakamoto much improved in EB, lines like this were a complete “ugh” for me:

Look, buddy, she just told you that she wasn’t ready to sleep with you.  Complaining to her that it would suck if she made you wait until the wedding is not my idea of a good relationship.

What did Sakamoto / Sakamoto’s route do well?  The route presented a good story, told from the opposite side, that didn’t just repeat the basics of the rest of the routes.  Sakamoto is an interesting guy.  If you’re into the brash, self-confident, pirate types (Han Solo comes to mind, although I preferred Han), then Sakamoto’s a good fit for you. Sakamoto does, without question, rock the western look.  Despite my belief in the importance of Chizuru having some agency and self-determination, I think Sakamoto’s absolute refusal to let her go rescue Kondo was both right and appropriate (that’s the CG I picked, above).  To be honest, stern Sakamoto appeals to me far, far more than smarmy smiley Sakamoto, (another clear result of my personal preferences).  The scene out by the dock was good, and I had to appreciate Sakamoto’s directness, in that instance.

Okay, so despite my best efforts, I ended up putting a lot of my route review thoughts into my personal ship ranking list.  AND it’s all way too long again.

I hope that there’s something here of interest.  And – one more time – ship what works for you.  Canon (game-based) ships, “non-canon” ships, semi-canon ships, m/f, f/f, m/m, whatever.  We don’t have to agree for me to respect your preferences.  Otome games are all about so-called “problematic” ships; my preferences tend to be on the “serious and thoughtful”, or at least “responsible and honest”, side (or “boring” depending on perspective!).

~ ImpracticalOni

[docholligay]

oathkeeper-of-tarth replied to your post “The Cat Came Back”

Omg finally… time to sink my teeth into this beauty… and FUCK the very first line, ahahah, the shrapnel talking, god, Ana, you disaster, ilu "It was a new Overwatch, her daughter’s Overwatch", the "cobbled-together Overwatch"... the best thing ever tbh. Bury me in found family feelings with these losers.

Thank you and YES, them all becoming some sort of loving, annoyed, but TOGETHER kind of a family is really important to me, this idea that these 5 weirdos (7 if you count jack and ana, and who knows how many eventually) try to make something, try to do something better than what came before, I am VERY into that. 

Lena, darling, would you like some popcorn?

Let’s be real though WE ARE ALL LENA OXTON IN THIS

This conversation, as well as the consideration of which language is spoken when, is everything, but "I certainly thought you could do that. But I did not think you could do that to me." just... *damn*.

Thank you!! With this conflict between Ana and Pharah, I was like, “Oh man, I have a golden opportunity here that i don’t normally get” Part of the reason I love overwatch is the wide diversity of the cast gives me a chance do to things with it that I don’t always get. And yes! I haven’t gotten to write as much about Pharah as I’d like, but the idea that she had so many complicated feelings about her mother, but always somehow, trusted that her mother loved her even if they didn’t get along? AND NOW??? THIS??? That’s my shit, gotta say. 

“Get out of my house, Ana Amari. The Shrike.” me at my laptop, very softly: holy shit

THANK!!!

That ending! Their Overwatch! There it issss! I am not being very articulate here but as much as I love the whole thing and the Amari Mama Drama, the way you’ve got the thread of the New Overwatch running through and tying together each of the segments is my favourite.

Thank you! It’s so important to me that Tracer and Pharah’s Overwatch is  something different, that THEY are different than the people that came before them, that they are BETTER. 

seolh replied to your post “The Cat Came Back”

And then Tracer being absolutely shocked and slamming the door in her face. But is it just shock at seeing Ana? Is there a moment of, "Ana is dead but I'm seeing her I can't be seeing her did my CA malfunction? I can't be lost in time not again not again." Or Tracer just thinking she's seen a ghost, because I totally believe that Tracer at least somewhat believes in ghosts.

Oh I think she does too. ANd yes ahaha, just being like, “WELP IT’S HAPPENED FINALLY CRACKED” and having to wait a few seconds before she looks out the door again. 

“Winston walked out of the kitchen into the living room, turned around, and walked right back into it.” LITERAL LOL . Pharah is so pissed and it's beautiful.  And Tracer watching the ‘show’ is amazing xD.  And Tracer watching the ‘show’ is amazing xD  Lena being THRILLED that the Amari-anger is not directed at her is so so good

Thank you!! I had so much fun writing the structure of this whole scene, with the really emotional parts and the really funny moment in the kitchen and with Lena

I absolutely love how conflicted and complicated Ana is and how angry Pharah is. And she is absolutely right to be furious. But seeing it from Ana’s side also makes it ache in the BEST WAY, because she made a very human decision and is having difficulty owning up to the fact that it was a bad decision.  It’s painful no matter which way you look at it and it’s DELICIOUS.

Yes!! I am, and will always be, “Ana Amari did a LOT of things wrong” but I also understand how hard it can be, and that’s why that whole line of “You make a decision for long enough, you decide the only thing to do is keep making it” like I GET IT, I just object to fandom generally letting her off the hook for it ahaha. 

AND THEN YOU FINISH OFF WITH PHARAH / MERCY FEELS AND I AM DYING.  God I love them SO MUCH and you write them SO WELL and now I have FEELINGS and aaaaahhhhh .  Mercy the healer who can't heal this hurt I love it SO MUCH. Healing is what she DOES, but her strong beautiful wife is CRYING and she can't fix it and NNNNGGGHHHH

Thank you!! I love writing Pharah/Mercy stuff because I always know you’ll love it, so I HAD to add them in this ahah. And yes, I feel like Pharah CRYING is some sort of defcon five situation, what the fuck do you even do? And Mercy would happily fucking pop Ana in the face right now if she got the chance because How dare!!!! She!!! (Maybe someday i will write Mercy trying to gather her courage to yell at ana ahaha) 

Also Lena is FABULOUS in this and the crunch of the potato chips is A+ (and then Winston saving her from certain death).

Winston is a solid 90% of Lena’s survival instinct ahaha

Also Pharah and her five parents is YES and Mercy reminding her of the good is good yes.  Also Pharah and her five parents is YES and Mercy reminding her of the good is good yes AND MERCY THE HEALER FIGHTING FOR PHARAH THE SOLDIER SO MUCH YES

Yes! Pharah being raising by five well-meaning people but basically SAM WAS THE BEST CHOICE HERE LBR is my fav headcanon in life, and Pharah having to deal with the fact that these people she loved so so much are EXTREMELY FLAWED, and the pain of that, A+. AND YES, Mercy is not a fighter by nature but for Pharah she can do ANYTHING. 

I feel like I have more to say that's actually comments and not screaming but the words won't come.  Not at all related to the double punch of FEELINGS because Amari drama and Pharah / Mercy. NOPE NOT AT ALL.

No this is my whole life and THANK YOU

"I speak Arabic as Fareeha does German: Badly, and for love.” This line is so sweet and makes me smile SO HARD.

Thank you! That line I wrote a long, long, time ago, not even knowing where I’d use it, but the idea of the two of them stumbling over each other’s languages FOR EACH OTHER was just too much for me. 

God the Pharah/Ana interactions are EXQUISITE it makes me ache in the best way

Thank you! I’ve been sitting on this a LONG TIME, I was really nervous about it? So I’ve been so pleased to see people enjoying it

I do enjoy how Jack is basically. Oh. *blinks* This is good.

At this point I think of jack as being a lonely fuck up, and does he even deserve to reach out to anyone, with the massive amount of mistakes he’s made? And then Ana is there, and she is an old friend, and she is ALSO a fuckup, and they have each other now. 

This doesn’t hit me in the same way that your Pharah / Mercy-focused fics do (nor did I expect it to) but it’s so INTERESTING and SO GOOD and there are still a massive boatload of FEELINGS and just YES

Thank you so much for liking it!!