#is gonna be like 70% satisfying

[lokilysolbitch]

me when i accidentally forget tiktok exists and i ignore it all day:

me when i consciously decide to limit my time on tiktok: this is justr like,,,,,,,the olden days (before i had tiktok) back when i would look at writing prompts on pinterest (i still do that anyways) and play sims (i still do that anyways) (literally nothing is different)

[monsterbookworm]

the thing about square saying that the third game of the ff7 remake project will wrap up everything and also cover the entire rest of the original game is: i simply do not believe them

[mssalo]

dirty old man - sleeping

In the quiet of the night, Joel can’t resist the temptation to have you just as you are - sleeping, warm, and all his to use. By morning, you’re eager to give back, slipping under the sheets to wake him up with your sweet mouth, proving that sometimes, the best dreams are the ones you wake up to.

Warnings: MDNI, 18+, somnophilia, age gap, caretaker f!reader, Joel is a perverted old man (imagined age 60-70), reader in her 20s, DDLG dynamic, daddy kink, consensual somnophilia, intense possessiveness, penetrative sex, p in v sex, cuming inside, oral (male receiving), dirty talk, power dynamics, and themes of control, degradation, size difference, explicit sexual content, Joel having to pop some pills to keep up with reader bc hes an oldie

more dirty old man in masterlist

· · ───────────𖥸──────────· ··

It was the dead of night, and a profound stillness blanketed the world outside, making it feel as though you and Joel were the only two souls in existence.

He lay beside you, his warm body pressed against yours, a comforting presence that filled the space between you. His hand rested on your thigh under the covers, the gentle weight of it stirring a heat within you even in your deep slumber.

Hours had slipped by since you had drifted off, lost in dreams, while Joel remained wide awake, his thoughts consumed by a singular focus: you. Every gentle rise and fall of your chest, the way your lips parted slightly as you breathed, captivated him.

You had unknowingly spent the day teasing him, your playful glances and lingering touches igniting a simmering desire that he found impossible to ignore.

As he lay there, his dark eyes roamed over your peaceful face, memorizing every detail��the soft curve of your cheek, the way your hair fell across your forehead. So damn pretty.

It was a temptation that felt like a potent spell, pulling him closer to the edge of something he craved deeply. The urge to wake you, to make you aware of his need, pulsed through him, igniting a fire that flickered in the pit of his stomach.

With deliberate slowness, his fingers began to explore your thigh, inching higher, savoring the softness of your skin beneath his touch.

The intimacy of the moment was electric, every subtle movement charged with anticipation. He knew you were his, entirely and completely, and the thrill of that realization made his heart race. The way you teased him without even knowing it had awakened a hunger in him, one that demanded to be satisfied.

Tonight, there would be no holding back.

His hand slowly slid higher up your thigh, grazing the hem of your shirt, slipping beneath it.

You weren’t wearing anything underneath, just like he like - easy access, always ready for him.

He let out a quiet groan, feeling the slickness between your legs, even in your sleep. His cock twitched at the thought, already hardening against your backside as he pressed himself closer.

“Fuck, baby,” he muttered low in your ear, his voice thick with need. “Even in your sleep, you’re ready for daddy, huh?”

You stirred slightly, a soft sound escaping your lips, but you didn’t wake up.

Joel grinned to himself, his fingers slipping between your folds, spreading your wetness as he teased you gently.

He loved this—having you completely at his mercy, knowing you were his to take whenever he wanted.

“You know what daddy wants, hm, sweet girl?” he whispered, his voice dripping with lust. “Gonna fuck you nice and slow, baby. Show you how much I need this sweet little pussy.”

You mumbled something incoherent, half-asleep, but your body responded instinctively, shifting toward his touch.

Joel took that as all the permission he needed. He reached down, positioning his hard cock at your entrance, pressing the tip against your slick folds.

“That’s it,” he muttered, pushing inside you inch by inch, groaning at the feeling of your tight, warm walls enveloping him. “So fuckin’ tight, - even in your sleep.”

Your body tensed for a moment, adjusting to the sudden fullness, but soon you relaxed, letting out a soft whimper as Joel started to move. He kept his pace slow, dragging his cock in and out of you, savoring the way your body clenched around him.

You were still half-asleep, your breathing deep and even, but the pleasure was unmistakable.

“Fuck, you feel so good, baby,” Joel growled, his hips pressing against yours as he buried himself deeper inside you. “Always so fuckin’ good for daddy, even when you don’t know it.”

He thrust into you slowly, his hand gripping your hip to hold you in place.

You whimpered again, your body stirring as the pleasure built inside you, even in your sleepy state. Joel smirked, loving how easily he could turn you on, how quickly you responded to him.

“You love this, hm?” he teased, his voice low and filthy. “Love bein’ daddy’s little fucktoy, lettin’ me fuck you whenever I want. "- always so ready for it, sweet one.”

His dirty words sent a shiver through you, even in your haze of sleep. You moaned softly, your hips moving against him, and Joel chuckled darkly, knowing he had you exactly where he wanted you.

“that's my little girl,” he murmured, his voice softening just a bit as he slowed his thrusts. “Daddy’s gonna make you cum, just like always. - gonna fill you up so good, baby. 'You need that, don’t ya? Old man cum inside your sweet cunt?”

You moaned softly, barely able to form words, but Joel didn’t need a response. He kept thrusting into you, his pace picking up just enough to push you closer to the edge. Your body trembled, the pleasure building inside you, and before you knew it, you were coming undone around him.

“Fuck, baby,” Joel groaned as your walls clenched around his cock, milking him for all he was worth. “That’s it, come for daddy. Let me feel how much you love this.”

He fucked you through your orgasm, his thrusts becoming more erratic as he chased his own release. You were barely conscious, your body limp against him, but Joel didn’t care. He loved having you like this—completely at his mercy, his to use however he wanted.

“Fuck, I’m gonna come,” he growled, his hips slamming into yours as he finally reached his climax.

He buried himself deep inside you, groaning as he filled you with his release, his cock twitching as he emptied himself into you.

For a moment, the room was silent, the only sound the heavy breathing of Joel as he held you close. He stayed inside you, his cock softening as he pressed kisses to your neck. And lastly to your soft lips.

“You’re such a good girl for me,” he whispered, his voice softening as he stroked your hair. “So fuckin’ perfect.”

And as you drifted back into a deeper sleep, you couldn’t help but smile.

· · ────

The morning sun was barely creeping through the curtains when you woke, the soft rays painting the room in a gentle light.

Joel was still fast asleep beside you, his chest rising and falling steadily, a peaceful expression on his face. But as you lay there, the memories of last night flooded your mind—his hands gripping your hips, his filthy words in your ear, the way he used your body like he owned it.

The thought of it sent a familiar heat coursing through your veins. You couldn’t help yourself. You needed him again.

Carefully, you slid under the covers, moving quietly so as not to wake him just yet.

Your lips brushed against the soft skin of his stomach, trailing lower until you reached his cock. He was soft, but the weight of him in your hand made your heart race.

You wrapped your lips around the tip, sucking gently, savoring the taste of him.

Joel stirred slightly, but he didn’t wake. Not yet.

You smiled to yourself, your mouth sliding further down his length as you began to suck him off, slow and deliberate. The heat between your legs was already growing, the memory of how he fucked you last night playing over and over in your mind.

You couldn’t get enough of him—could never get enough.

As you worked him deeper into your mouth, you felt him begin to harden, his cock swelling between your lips.

His breathing changed, a soft groan escaping his throat as he slowly woke up to the sensation.

“Mmm… what’re you doin’ down there, sweet girl?” Joel’s voice was rough with sleep, but there was a smile in it too. His hand found your head, fingers tangling in your hair as he finally opened his eyes, looking down at you with that familiar hunger.

You leaned forward, the soft graze of your lips against his skin lingering as you looked up at him with a playful gleam in your eye.

“Thought I’d remind you of last night, daddy” you murmured, your voice dripping with mischief, heat in every syllable. “Couldn’t stop thinking about how good you fucked me.”

A rough groan tore from Joel’s chest, his fingers tightening in your hair, his hips pushing up slightly, his cock heavy and throbbing under your touch.

“Knew I’d spoil you too good,” he muttered, the edges of his voice low and gravelly, thick with lust. “Spoiled from Daddy’s cock, huh? Look at you. Young thing, just desperate for it…”

You only hummed in response, eyes darkening as you took him back into your mouth, feeling the weight and warmth of him press against your tongue.

You let him feel every inch of your attention, the way you circled your tongue around the head, teasing the sensitive skin there before sinking lower, deeper, lips sliding slowly down his shaft.

His rough breaths filled the air as you worked him over, and the steady beat of his pulse against your tongue was just as intoxicating as the groans slipping from his lips.

“That’s it,” he rasped, his voice thick with satisfaction, his hand guiding you further down his length, pushing you to take him deeper.

“Suck me like that, sweetheart. Just like that.” The words only spurred you on, adding a new spark to the hunger simmering inside you.

You worked him harder, hollowing your cheeks as you moved, watching his eyes go dark with lust as you took him in, inch by inch.

His fingers tightened their grip in your hair, his hips thrusting up to meet the movements of your mouth, filling you over and over, his cock sliding deeper each time.

You could feel his gaze on you, heavy with admiration as he watched your lips wrap around him, taking him so eagerly. The rough timbre of his voice made the heat between your thighs ache, every word only feeding your need.

“Just can’t get enough, huh?” he murmured, his eyes darkening as he continued to watch you. “Look at you, sweet girl, so damn hungry for it. Daddy’s cock got you addicted already?”

Your cheeks flushed as you looked up at him, your lips tightening around his shaft as you answered with another hum, letting him feel every inch of you.

His breathing grew more ragged, his cock twitching against your tongue as you took him deeper, savoring the way his hips bucked, the way he couldn’t hold back.

“Fuck, little one,” he muttered, his words edged with tension as he kept moving, guiding you, thrusting steadily into your mouth, each stroke deeper than the last.

“Just—look at you, a pretty young thing like you, all wrapped around me like this.” His hand flexed in your hair, the heat in his eyes pushing you further as he muttered, “Goddamn perfect, sweetheart, fuck…”

You moaned around him, the sound vibrating against him as you took him down again, feeling the rush of satisfaction every time he cursed, every time he let out a rough groan.

His hips thrust up with a final, shuddering need, and you could feel him reaching the edge, his body tensing, his grip in your hair tightening as he moved harder, needier, voice low and thick.

“Gonna make me cum, baby. You want that? You want Daddy to fill your pretty mouth?” His voice broke, heavy with lust, his words hitting you like sparks as he thrust one more time, hips jerking as his release spilled down your throat.

You took him in, swallowing every drop, not letting an ounce go to waste, savoring the taste as he finally began to relax, his breathing slowing, his hand slipping from your hair as he looked down at you, his expression somewhere between satisfied and awed.

“Jesus,” he murmured, his thumb tracing over your swollen lips, eyes warm, a smile tugging at the edges of his mouth. “You’re somethin’ else, baby.”

You wiped your lips with the back of your hand, smiling up at him. “Just wanted to make sure you woke up with a smile.”

Joel chuckled, pulling you up into his arms, his lips pressing against your forehead. “You’re gonna be the death of me, you know that?”

You grinned, your body already pressing against his, craving more. “Not before you fuck me again.”

“Damn, sweet girl,” Joel groaned, his hand sliding through your hair, tugging gently as he gazed down at you with a smirk of pure satisfaction. “With that mouth of yours… I’m gonna need those pills if I’m gonna keep up with you. Go get ’em for me, sweetheart. I wanna take my sweet time with you.”

He released a long breath, his chest still rising and falling from the aftermath of his release.

His thumb brushed your cheek, his eyes softening slightly as he spoke again. “Ain’t never felt this before. Not ‘til you came into my life. You make me feel like I’m twenty again, darlin’. Like I can’t get enough of you.”

His fingers slid down the side of your face, his touch tender now, petting your hair like he couldn’t stop admiring you. “God, you’re somethin’ else. My good girl, takin’ care of me like that.”

Your heart swelled at his words, and you couldn’t help but smile, feeling the familiar heat building between you again at his filthy praise.

You leaned into his hand, knowing full well that the moment you got back with those pills, Joel wasn’t going to hold back.

He was going to take his time

· · ───────────𖥸──────────· ··

uhh......yes <3

[bunabi]

I finished Veilguard btw so here's my long thoughts (be warned I've been writing notes during my entire playthrough so this is very long) for folks who want it:

My favorite parts of DAV:

Best level design in any DA so far. The platforming grew on me, and I think the levels were well-thought out and mostly fun to navigate. Arlathan Forest was exhausting but other areas felt nicely balanced with branching paths, hidden rooms, etc. Exploration in smaller contained maps done right imo.

Mage combat is really satisfying at higher levels. Pure ranged combat is totally impossible unless you have Davrin and Taash popping taunts back to back, but dropping a massive AOE while fighting close-range feels good too.

Being able to auto-equip and compare new gear is great.

Same with the codex entries. Not having to hunt down whatever note I just picked up is a huge improvement.

Upgrading equipment via duplicates incentivized treasure chest hunting, which I would have otherwise skipped lol. It really helped me slow down and take time exploring areas, and I appreciated that.

The final act didn't make the previous 70+ hours feel better, my fault for spoiling most of it for myself, but it was neat. Cool set pieces, cool fights. I was worried Elgar'nan was gonna have the same moveset as the Regrets, but his final battle was great.

Oh, I forgot Felassan! His notes were a tragic delight. Such a good man. Funny too. They didn't need to kill Varric to make Solas less sympathetic...I think Felassan's betrayal(s) serve that purpose well already.

Rook & Their Faction:

Without rehashing what I've said over the past few weeks: this is my least favorite protagonist.

Being a funny and sarcastic and irreverent hero in a DA game is not new. Not having a choice in the matter is. The Inquisitor was pretty fixed in their tone too (cant even choose a personality for them in CC) but even they had better aggressive options available.

Folks say not to judge Rook's depth by a Lord of Fortune playthrough but since factions are asymmetrical on purpose here are my impressions:

The Lords of Fortune didn't contribute to my run in any meaningful way other than getting Emmrich hot which is not unique, as it turns out, to any particular background. In fact, learning Natalene was a galley slave as an aside detracted from my experience. Being a former galley slave, former Circle mage (again: Rivain doesn't have Circles), semi-Dalish city elf with DIY vallaslin is unreal. Especially as characters continuously imply Rook is a young 20-something. The fact this wasn't immediately caught and course-corrected shows -- to me -- how hectic and spread-thin DAV's development really was. :(

Story & Antagonists:

Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain have cackling witch disease. No motivations outside of power. That was a little disappointing. Was also hoping they'd at least comment on Rook/Davrin/Bellara's vallaslin but they're too busy plotting world domination to really notice. Love their designs though. I'd love to hear a deep dive on how they animated Ghil's tentacles.

Veilguard feels like an immediate follow-up to Trespasser, not the ten year timeskip it says it is. I wonder if that's a symptom of adapting the live service story (content that was likely meant to stretch, similar to Anthem and Destiny, over a decade) for single-player.

I miss the politically-motivated meddling. Every villain is allied with the Evanuris. We needed some that aren't. The Right and Left Hand of the Black Divine, corrupt brothers of the Imperial Chantry, the agents of the Archon, a Minrathous street gang, some Rivaini pirates, anything, anyone.

It's crazy how all elven resistance seemed to evaporate with the dissolution of the Dread Wolf Army. As much as I'd hate seeing them duped and betrayed by Solas…I prefer that to just pretending everything's fine now. I could easily see alienage elves and slaves take Cyrian's path, desperate for change no matter the source, especially since oppression is all they've known and there's no end to it in sight. Especially with their gods confirmed as the source of the blight. All downhill from here I fear.

The Butcher. Would. That voice and that frame....it purred I fear. But even he was not immune to cackling witch disease. Wish he stuck around longer for personal reasons. My South is under siege and I aint talking about Ferelden.

Combat:

I found myself switching builds a lot, which was nice and kept things fresh. That being said: DAV needed loadouts for skills and equipment and a menu showing active passive skills + enchantments. A QOL update for this stuff would have been amazing. I want to try an archer run, but I dread (🐺) fussing with skill tree nodes again.

After fighting Mythal (my first full dragon fight) I was disappointed how all dragons share her same attack patterns. They didn't have to reinvent the wheel or anything -- this was the case with dragon battles in DAI and I thought it was fine -- but Mythal of all enemies should have been unique.

High-level demons are limited to Rage and Pride. High-level darkspawn are limited to Ogres. I miss those little scrungly lookin' despair demons and nasty ass hurlock emissaries. After 60 hours I did get a little tired of the same handful of mobs over and over.

Companions & NPCs:

The Veilguardians feel like my kids. Except Emmrich who's absolutely convinced he's in an age-gap relationship with my older lady Rook. It's not that they're uniquely dependent or rudderless, it's that their struggles are solved with nurturing pep talks. Reaffirm their worth, give them a hug, and all that inner turmoil is cancelled. Rich coming from the 'I should have been able to influence my companions more in DAI' girl, but Rook's impact on the Veilguard, the way their doubts vanish completely via some life coaching, feels off.

Speculation: I think the companions were originally planned to be NPCs. Their written banter in some of the notes, their verbal banter throughout the Lighthouse, they feel like they're meant to stay in the hub and act as quest-givers in the live service game. Especially with how Rook is excluded. That's fine btw it just helps explains some things. (Just remembered something else: when you talk to quest NPCs out in the world and the camera focuses in on the conversation, you can't see your companions. They chime in with disembodied voices, always hidden out of frame. That also gives me the feeling they were added later. Not confirmed btw just my hunch!)

Torn about Taash. I love them for breaking the 'agreeable companion' monotony but hate the ~animalistic race~ tropes they were saddled with. I've had issues with Weekes' handling of race and culture in the past. I'm disappointed to see it continue a decade later. I'll leave it there. Sten cannot smell ovulating coochie!

I tried to kill Lucanis during the final assault. Had full faction strength but I didn't complete his personal quest. It didn't work. Sorry Zevran!

Shathann's VA was acting her ass off. Great performance. Absolute bars from Taash's VA during their scenes too.

I dreaded (🐺) opening the Lighthouse map to see who wanted to talk. I usually love chopping it up and getting to know my party; that's my favorite part of any DA game. But so many conversations were just spent restating the obvious (Bellara is worried about The Gods and her brother, Harding is worried about her powers and Solas, Davrin is worried about the griffons and Gloom Howler, you know like in case you forgot). Running person-to-person-to-person and feeling no sense of accomplishment or progress for it seriously drained me.

The Inquisitor… I assumed vowing to stop Solas would block my Lavellan from pining and questioning herself after a decade apart and two very clear rejections. She kept asking whether he could still be reasoned with even in the midst of the final operation. I'm disappointed how little that choice mattered in the end. The second-hand embarrassment was crazyyy.

Romance:

Now this part is a little unique. Sorry for what I'm about to say about Emmrich. If it helps: I found him the most fun of all the companions. He's handsome, thoughtful, and has a fascinating past. But I ended up being dissatisfied by the end, and not just because of being soft-locked into a May-December fling, cringe commentary from Rook, and feeling like I was straight-up harassing Emmrich in early flirting dialogue.

The main issue: I don't care for the Mourn Watch. I like the Mourn Watch characters, but the organization makes me crazy. We hear so little about how they function in the context of an Andrastian nation like Nevarra. Summoning the dead in a world that still believes souls join the Maker's side in the Fade is huge. I wanted to really dig into discussions on the afterlife but in the end I'm supposed to go 'waow cool skeletons' and forget that religion is such an important facet of Thedas. I was so bummed!

I made him a Lich because he didn't seem to care either way. Reuniting him with Manfred is morally good, turning him into an eternal protector of the Necropolis is morally good. Emmrich is happy with whatever, so I gave him whatever, and I said 'whatever' when it was all over. My god is that man cute, but the romance overall just didn't do it for me.

Should've known when I saw his rotunda lol Bioware you sly dogs you got me again!

Personal final thoughts:

Well? I don't think I'm sad anymore, but I am left with complicated feelings. Obviously things are a little different for me being an EA Partner and getting an idea of just how much work has gone into making the game exist period. And I think because I can't blame it all on one person, shit all over it, and move on that these feelings are just kinda churning with nowhere to go.

Things could have been handled better. Didn't like the attempt to hide the world states until launch, or the dismissive comments from writers about it. Didn't like the AMA answers. And this isn't really my business but I'll say it anyway: I feel like the community council was thrown to the wolves, having to base their DA4 impressions around the sliver of content they were allowed to see, and having a much more hands-off role than implied.

I hope DAV is taken as an opportunity to refocus, double-down on what makes Dragon Age so beloved, and lean into those strengths unapologetically. Easier said than done -- as much as I loved Swen's speech about creating games free of marketing expectations and mimicking the latest trends that's often times impossible -- but I want to believe it can be done in this case.

Anyway both Sabine & my antibiotics are complete and I'm overcoming my moodiness and getting back to work on commissions! I've cured the Blight in more ways than one! 😄

[youaintnothinbuta]

If I start to drive you nuts with requests please tell me to stop. 😂 the last story was so cute though, just perfect in fact. Could I request an Elvis x reader where the reader is a home baker and maybe she keeps making different stuff for Elvis to try? Like 70s Elvis? I hope you’re having a good week so far. Blessings to you my friend. ☺️🙏

“Just a little bit more.” — Elvis Presley x reader

Summary: fluffy drabble of reader baking and Elvis enjoying her creations and being all cute :)) A/N: I am now craving apple crumble so bad

Pairing: Elvis Presley or Austin!Elvis x fem!reader

Word count: 732

Warnings: none! Fluffy Drabble. Hopefully no typos hehe <3

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Graceland’s kitchen had become your favorite place lately. You’d always liked baking, but recently it had turned into quite the passion. The countertops were perpetually dusted with flour, the air always filled with the aroma of freshly baked goods, and the shelves were lined with jars of sugar, spices, and all sorts of ingredients you’d started experimenting with. You knew the Memphis mafia would all be coming over (as they usually were) and you were eager to whip up a nice treat for them— apple crumble. The cinnamon and sugar-coated apples were bubbling away in the oven, the crumble topping turning a perfect golden brown.

As you worked, you hummed softly to yourself, the kitchen warm and inviting. The timer rang, you slipped on an oven mitt, carefully pulling the dish from the oven and setting it on the stove. You couldn’t help but smile, satisfied with how it looked. You grabbed a fork, scooping up a small portion, blowing on it before tasting. The apples were tender, the topping was crisp, and the flavors melded together perfectly.

“Elvis!” you called out, your voice carrying through the house.

In the living room, Elvis had been sitting with a few of his friends, joking around, playing the piano, enjoying the afternoon.

At the sound of your voice, he excused himself with a grin and made his way to the kitchen. You didn’t notice him at first as you were pulling plates from the cupboard, but you felt him step behind you, his arms slipping around your waist.

“Hi, sugar,” he buried his face in the crook of your neck, breathing in deeply. “Smells nice,” he murmured, his voice low and warm.

You leaned back into him, smiling. “Here, try some.” You turned in his arms, holding up the fork. Elvis took the bite, his eyes closing as he savored the taste. He hummed in approval, and you could see the enjoyment on his face.

“That’s real good, darlin’,” he said, leaning in to kiss your forehead.

You smiled at his praise, feeling a swell of pride. “I’m glad you like it.”

He reached for another forkful, but you playfully swatted his hand away.

“Hey now, wait until everyone else has a chance to try it!” you laughed, but handed him another small piece anyway. “Just a little bit more.”

Elvis chuckled, taking the bite and nodding in approval. “I ain’t gonna be able to move on stage if ya keep feeding me like this.”

You laughed, reaching up to run your fingers through his dark hair. “Nonsense, Elvis.”

He leaned down, pressing his lips to yours in a tender kiss. The warmth of his affection made you melt into him, the two of you enjoying the quiet moment in the kitchen.

“How ‘bout we bring some of this out to the guys?” You suggested.

“They’d love that,” he agreed. You grabbed a knife to slice the crumble into portions. Elvis grabbed the plates you’d gotten out, and you followed him back to the living room.

As you served up the apple crumble, the room filled with appreciative murmurs and compliments. Elvis sat beside you on the couch, his hand resting on your knee, and you could feel the pride in his touch. He was always so admiring of the way you went out of your way to look after everyone, a trait you and he both shared.

“This is really somethin’,” Joe said, taking a bite. “You’ve got a real talent here.”

“Thanks,” you replied, feeling a bit bashful under the praise. “I just enjoy it, that’s all.”

Elvis squeezed your knee gently, his smile full of pride. “She’s bein’ modest. She’s been keepin’ us all spoiled.”

“Can I take the recipe home to Pat?” Red asked, finishing his slice.

“Of course,” you said, your smile widening.

After everyone had finished, the conversation shifted back to whatever they’d been discussing before, but Elvis stayed close by your side, his arm draped comfortably around your shoulders. You leaned into him, enjoying the easy companionship of the moment.

“I love you,” he whispered in your ear.

“I love you too,” you mumbled.

Later, after everyone had gone, and the house had quieted down, you and Elvis found yourselves back in the kitchen, cleaning up the remnants of the evening. You were washing the dishes, and he was drying, the two of you working in comfortable silence.

[little-miss-dilf-lover]

Thots of Matt eating reader out after she just shaved??🤭

love the way you think🫠

wrote this late last night, so not sure if all coherent - maybe just rambling brain rot. too lazy to edit it rn

matt murdock x fem!reader, mdni (18+ only!!)

aaaa so okay SO!!1

firstly I gotta say, and I quote forever and always, matt is a pussy eating fiend !! he don't care what you got, he's gonna eat. got a 70's bush? he's gonna chow down. haven't had time to clean yourself up beforehand? again, he's gonna gobble you up. he may have a preference (bc of his senses etc) - but he doesn't let that be known

BUT?? there's something just so addictive about eating you out after you just shaved, when you're all soft and smooth and silky - folds and pubic bone velvety to the touch and free of hair

I feel like it would be even more satisfying and enjoyable for him than usual, and he may even forget about getting you off. like the way your soft folds feel when he sucks them into his mouth, or simply just how good your pussy feels on his tongue

he would take all the time just leisurely licking you out, soft, pleased groans and moans muffling between your thighs - fingers digging into that crease, holding you still to his face. he'd be slow and teasing with it, changing things up without realising - unintentionally edging you. one minute, his tongue would be curled up into your pussy, tongue barely poking inside of you. the other he's on your clit, flicking over it. the next, he's sucking on it. the time after that, licking faint stripes up your slit

he also pays attention to other parts of your body without acknowledging it. maybe he trails kisses between your very inner thighs, spreading soft, open-mouth kisses over your heated skin - giving your poor, sensitive pussy a small time-out. his hands comfortingly stroking down your sides as if to reinforce his love for you

he also def reaches up to cup your tits when he eats you out, just saying ! just him extending his hands up to knead and squeeze them, as if to ground himself from his almost painful hard-on.. WHICH he has most definitely rubbed against the mattress a few times

more thots bc I can't help myself. but he doesn't let you get away, no matter how much you protest and push his head away - all you need to say is that small little word and it will immediately seize his movements. but you won't say it bc you don't actually want him to stop.. and he knows that 

maybe he likes it when you get just shy of overstimulation, when you're moments away from tapping out. when you crush his head with your spasming thighs, or when you make those strangled and choked moans, or when you're just twitching and jolting against his face, or when your grip in his hair tightens, or when you shimmy up the bed, or when your cry half of his name in a breathy whine, or when you cream on his tongue 

lastly, mr. matt murdock isn't about waste around here, so he never wastes a drop !! !! drinks you all up !! EVERYTHING !! since he can't see the messy state of your pussy after, instead, he runs his first two fingers over you - feeling the slippery and soft and puffy, soaked folds coated in spit and arousal. smearing everything around with A COCKY GRIN SLAPPED ON HIS FACE - feeling the literal mess he made of you

also also, he snogs you after to make you taste yourself 🫨

— — — — — — — — — — ☆ — — — — — — — — — —

[starryeyedstray]

connorkus wishing you a very happy 2025~! my art ramblings below the cut as per usual

so my goal was to finish this drawing before the end of jan 1st in my time zone and ehehe that certainly did NOT happen. it's like 10am jan 2nd here ahahahah. but hey it's still jan 1st somewhere!!!!

i spent like 15+ hours on this piece and like 70% of that time was redrawing markus. i swear i have the hardest time drawing that guy. i miss drawing ladies. i used to them all the time. maybe that's why i got north down in one try. connor took like three tries. and then markus... i went through like 8 renditions of him. i hope he turned out okay. i've been staring at this piece for so long i've lost all objectivity.

y'all it really is a new year because i actually put my clean line art in a separate layer instead of what i normally do and spend an abnormally long time cleaning up my rough sketch. this led to veryyyyyy thin line art which it is not my usual style. i think it turned out okay??? i think in future pieces might change up the line weight cause i love my tapers but i was just too lazy to rethicken all the lines on the clean line art layer jskdfjksdjfkdsjfl.

i wasn't planning on doing a full colored piece because of the time constraints but i decided to put in some matte colors cause i wanted them to be color coordinated and i was like oh it looks a bit weird and flat maybe i'll render just a litt-- oops i rendered the whole thing ehehehe. tbh, i'm still trying to figure how i want to render and color things. i feel like i always like the plain lineart more than the colored version. i think that will be a goal for this year is figuring out how to color. right now like 50% satisfied with the how i render so hoping to get it closer to 100% by year's end.

btw, no one is allowed to compliment my fabric textures bc i literally cheated cause i just got a picture of fabric texture, set the layer to grain merge, and then added highlights. i was not gonna render out norths sparkly dress by hand that's for fucking sure lmao.

also, idk what cosmic void they're standing in. i just wanted a really soft glowy background without having to render out anything detailed. so uhm let's just pretend that they're standing in front of some sort of light display.

for listening to my ramblings enjoy these rough sketch layers~

happy new year <333

[genericpuff]

What is daily pass?

Daily Pass is where completed webtoons go to die go to be a part of a separate currency system. Essentially, you get one "daily pass" per day to use on any completed DP series. This unlocks an episode for 14 days, after which the episode will lock again. This also means if you use your own daily pass, that's it, you can't use it on any other series that day and you have to wait until tomorrow to get another one.

If you want to read more episodes and don't want to wait until tomorrow, you can spend your coins to FastPass the next episode. That 14 day limit does not apply here, once you use your coins to FP it you have permanent access to the episodes for as long as the series is available. This ALSO applies to any series that you've FastPassed before that become DailyPass. So for example, I read most of S2 of Lore Olympus through the FastPass system, so when it goes behind DailyPass, I won't have to wait for the Daily Pass ticket or pay again to read them. That said, I didn't FastPass S1 until about the last half of it back when those episodes were first releasing, so for the first half of the series, I either have to stick out the once-a-day ticket system or fork over the coins for the FastPass.

While it is a good way to monetize series after they're completed, especially for the creators who get a cut of the FP earnings, from the reader side it's truly the water drip torture method of reading webcomics. Most of us aren't satisfied only reading one episode a day, especially when it comes to series with shorter episodes (which LO had back in the day, it didn't used to always have 70+ panel episodes), and WT is counting on that in the hopes people will FastPass to shortcut the waiting process (especially because only getting to read one episode per day really does turn reading webcomics from an exhilarating binge into a daily chore.)

Lore Olympus will likely be going behind this Daily Pass paywall in the comic weeks, most series that are completed are put in Daily Pass within a couple weeks to a month after being completed. There's a person in the /r/webtoons sub who tracks the Daily Pass timelines and notifies people ahead of time, so if I hear of when LO is going behind the DP system, I'll let y'all know.

In the meantime though, if you've been planning on reading through all of LO from start to finish without having to pay for FP, now's the time. It's only gonna become a pain to do again as soon as it gets put behind DP.

[mortuarywriting]

Falling into Place

Ao3 Link - [First] - [Next Chapter ->]

All things considered this isn't what you were expecting to wake up to when you went to bed. One minute you're on your phone, trying to pass out, and the next? You're here. You've had some interesting greetings in your life, but dropping about six feet and having twelve guns leveled at your face? That takes the cake

Warnings:

Reader Insert, Plus-Size Reader, The Author Regrets Everything, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Isekai, canon divergence Look we're gonna dig into the implications of omegasverse changing bits and pieces of history as well as addressing whatever the FUCK is happening as CoD's history. Idk man Godzilla is canon and nobody bats an eye at that fact and you think I'm gonna be normal about that? No

You could be having a worse day, you think, as you stare at the interrogation table you're cuffed to. They could've shot you the second you fell the six feet from the sky into a random army base. That's a very real thing that could've happened.

But no, you just had a dozen guns pointed at you in one moment and a slew of questions you didn't have satisfying answers for.

No, you had no idea how you got there. You'd been in bed tooling around on your phone and then you were falling.

They asked who you worked for, and were not impressed by your mundane answer. You didn't work for some pmc or intelligence organization. You asked them to their faces if they thought you could pass a PT test if you tried. Not that they answered or appreciated your point, mind.

It was only after you gave them whatever identifying information you had that things got… spicy.

"I would love to tell you what this designation of yours is if you tell me what you mean. Is it like a classification of civilian versus enlisted? Is it physical? Is it your horoscope? I don't know what I don't know," you explain again for the Nth time. You didn't wanna play twenty questions but here you fuckin were, captive audience and all.

The man asking you questions had lost his charming good cop look. He was getting more and more annoyed on this one, "your designation," a demand, not a question and sure as shit not an answer.

"Again, would love to tell you! I don't know what you mean! Feels like some kinda Star Wars thing," you grumble the last bit to yourself but the man cocks his head.

His eyes narrow, "what are… Star Wars, you said?"

You blink owlishly, "beg pardon?"

"Star War. Clarify."

It's your turn for your brow to furrow, and furrow it does, "Star Wars? As in the multi-billion dollar franchise created by George Lucas and eventually sold to Disney," your tone is questioning, just shy of asking if the guy lived under a rock but his expression didn't let up and the last thing you needed was bad cop, so you continued, "the story of what happened a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away? The political space series of movies versus Star Trek's more scientific and discovery based longstanding TV show? Nine major movies and the Clone Wars before Disney sunk their talons in. Like yeah we got more shows and movies that expanded the universe but they also cut out decades of book contributions in their acquisition and that kinda sucked. But yeah, that Star Wars?"

"Nine movies," his tone is disbelieving, and now it's your turn for your eyebrows to raise, "can you name them?"

You nod, "well yeah. Do you want them in episode order or release?"

His brows furrow, "did they not release in order?"

"In a sense? Three trilogies, 4-5-6 back in the late 70s early 80s, then 1-2-3 in the late 90s early 00s, and 7-8-9 through the teens. So order, yes, just… not a cohesive one."

"Release, then," he leaned back and crossed his arms, a position you'd love to mimic if you weren't cuffed to the table for… an indeterminate period of time now, actually.

"A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi-"

"Woah now, empire? What's a jeddy?"

You give him a blank look, trying very hard to mask your disbelief as you look between him and the mirror behind him. You look at your reflection, take a deep breath, and- "sir would it be easier for you to maybe check the internet?"

He seemed to bristle, nose flaring and looking at you expectantly.

You just… kinda sat there. You tapped your fingers together on the desk and kept the eye contact he was intent on. It took a good minute and him getting progressively pissier before you simply ask, "would you like the other movies now?"

You didn't expect an explosion of movement from the man. He downright snarled and slammed his hands on the table as he burst to his feet, the sudden change sending his chair screeching back before falling with a clatter. You leaned as far back as your cuffed hands would allow, eyes wide and a panic rising.

Both of you turned to look at the door when it slammed open with a barked, "Williams!" 

The man who opened it reared back a bit, "Christ, layin' it on a bit thick," he groused, his tone sounding more like someone chastising a teenager for using too much Axe body spray. He smoothed his posture back into something casual as he fanned the air dismissively with a hand, "cap wants you to take a walk."

Your interrogator- Williams, apparently- stares at the man in the door, the two locking eyes before the one in the door straightens from his purposely relaxed posture. You watch the both of them, noting the shoulders tensing as the two just. Staring at each other? Eventually the guy who'd been grilling you looked away and stormed out, the man in the doorway letting him slip out easily enough before turning a charming look back to you.

He took a minute to fan the door a few times to get newer, blissfully cool air in before he entered the room, "sorry 'bout him. He really did a number in here," the new guy tsked before closing the door quietly behind himself.

Your brow furrowed even as you slowly relaxed a bit, had this Williams guy like… farted or something? A nice quirk of ventilation keeping you from smelling something abhorrent? Either way you simply shrug as he walks in and tips the chair back up, sitting and giving another reassuring smile, "how you doing, love?"

You opened and closed your mouth a few times before simply settling on, "I'm a bit… whelmed? This has been," you give as vague a rolling gesture as you can without your cuffs rattling too badly, "a lot? And I have no idea what just set him off either?"

It's the man before you's turn to quirk a brow, "no idea?"

"If I knew the answers to his questions I'd've given 'em by now. I don't, though, and then he just started staring? And hell I just thought it was some kinda macho 'I can stare the truth out of you,'" you pitched your voice lower and pushed your shoulders out for a second to mimic the douchebag behavior before settling, "so I kept eye contact because I'm so out of my depth I have no reason to lie at all and now…" you trail off, gesturing around the room, "all that."

The man nods slowly, "alright love, could you tell me about the last five years?"

Your brows furrow, "oh fuck, 2019 was five years ago wasn't it. God, time is an illusion. Anyway, you want what I was doing leading up to and through the pandemic?"

You think he might've startled for a second but he simply moved to scratch his chin, "mhmm. Just your thoughts on the last five years is all."

So… you ramble. Because he was nice and not prodding or asking weird questions. You talk to him about your job before the pandemic, how people thought covid was just a flu until the death tolls kept climbing, how tons of governments dropped the ball on a local or country-wide level and how that kicked back onto your life, and then the absolute crapshoot of the last election cycle, the shitty 'oh no this is the new normal everything is fine' behavior that has lead to surges and cycles of a fucking plague and so on. He simply nodded, gave some sympathetic hums and winces appropriately at your experiences.

"And did you go back and watch Star Wars through that? Or other things Disney owned?"

And, well, that was a weird way to phrase it but you shrugged, "the mouse is just shy of a monopoly and not one that anybody can take that down so… yeah, I guess? They kept putting shows out and expanding their Star Wars universe so that's been kinda neat to watch but not just them, no. Couple other games and stuff like that to keep me busy, too," you kinda handwave and shut up because panic rambling to MILITARY PERSONNEL is probably not your smartest move in hindsight. Especially when you don't know his name. A+, self.

You tap your fingers against the metal table as he looks at you, "and you said covid has a long term effect of ruining people's senses of smell and taste?"

You nod slowly, "yeah, dude? It's one of the biggest warning signs for most people? Like if everything starts tasting like it was made by a middle class white mom who keeps shoving random letters in her kids names you should swab? That kinda shit?"

What rock has this guy been living under? You were pretty sure the military were supposed to be way more familiar with this shit all things considered, but you've been wrong before.

It was his turn to give you a bit of a wide eyed look before he poorly covers a laugh, "alright, that's fair. I need to go talk with my captain," he hooks a thumb over his shoulder to the window, which didn't surprise you that there had been people back there. He offers a reassuring smile as he stands, humming idly as he pushes the chair back in. He pauses mid-step, "you mentioned that there were cards…?"

You find yourself nodding slowly, "yeah it was important and you couldn't fly or go to certain places if you didn't have one for a while. Should still have a picture of mine buried on my phone," you really didn't wanna get another first-round of covid shots, you REALLY didn't wanna repeat the 24 hours of suck for no reason.

"Cool, thanks," he flashes another charming grin before he slides out of the room.

You lean back in your chair, what an odd guy. Nice though.

-------

"Right," Gaz says as he opens the door to Price and Ghost, "either our mystery guest is off her nut or she's legitimately from somewhere and somewhen else."

Ghost and Price look at each other before turning back to Gaz, this… complicated matters.

Well, it's not like you hadn't given them information to identify yourself. They'd dig up who you were one way or another.

-------

You stare blankly as the nice man from before gives you a sympathetic look, "what do you mean I'm dead?"

Behind him is a guy you're not sure if he's just fuckoff huge or if he's just moderately huge and it's forced perspective.

You don't think it's forced perspective.

You are absolutely trying not to panic spiral.

You are absolutely doing a horrible job at that.

"Well," he opens the file before him and there's a news article, proudly proclaiming "Locals Die in Horrible Freak Accident" like that's not some form of you that was looking like some smear on the pavement, "there's this. Fingerprints match up. Can check for dental if you're really curious."

"Were there even any teeth left after that," you mumble as you take and read the offered article. Seven people were involved, the pictures used are mostly flattering. Hell, you almost don't mind what pic they used for an alternate you but… "that's certainly not the pic I would've wanted. Maybe this me had different tastes?"

You take the time to actually read through the article. It's not helping because for as much as you stare at the page you're not absorbing any information. Some form of detachment, if this was really you? You'd died. A different you but a you nonetheless. You died and you're reading how it happened. There was a lot to unpack in all this and you just needed to put the suitcase away for now. You'd much rather throw it away at this rate.

You were rapidly coming to the understanding that you and Toto were not in Kansas anymore, and there wasn't a convenient yellow brick road to get yourself back home. No easy way to get the hell out of Dodge either. Was it Dodge or the O.K. Corral that was in Kansas? No the O.K. Corral wasn't in Kansas- Dodge was though, that's right. 

This analogy was getting away from you and some part of you figured this was just your brain trying to protect yourself but… wait, wasn't this a metaphor? There wasn't 'like' or 'as' or goddammit not again.

You recognize some names here and there but largely everyone involved were perfect strangers. The article doesn't cover if it would've been slow or quick. You hope for the smear that it was quick. Smears like that don't happen slowly, right? Well, not unless it's like a dramatic slide down a window, but not usually across pavement like that.

Still not sure how you feel about all of it. Bit morbid being confronted with your mortality like that.

Certainly answered a lot of questions about your theoretical passing you never thought about. Like if the obituary for you in what you know to be your own home and world is just as… really kinda just mediocre as this. Have you really done nothing of note for an obituary? Damn.

You kept pouring over the article, each pass bringing new words into focus that help connect the picture a little bit, but… Something repeated in the article made you pause, "two alphas, four betas, and an omega?" 

There was no decent way to ask about that. Any questions invoked from here would border into dangerous territory better kept between yourself and a private browser history. You knew what you were about but there was no fucking way.

"Their designations," the nice man whose name you still hadn't caught explains, "mostly explaining their secondary gender."

You look at him owlishly. You pray to whatever God might be listening that you wake up shortly. Or that the earth below your feet opens up and swallows you. Whichever comes first, the mortification will snipe you otherwise.

"Please tell me this is an elaborate joke at my expense," you are very quiet as you are trying to get really cool with a lot of things really quickly.

"Negative," the big fucker in the back practically growled and you knew that voice would do things to you if you weren't half stepped out of your own body. 

You missed whatever his followup was but your brow furrowed when you checked the date on the article, "I've been dead for months? That…" you let the paper fall from your hands. Everything about this is wild at best and very overwhelming at worst. 

A lot of this qualified as worst.

You look up at the two, missing the odd look they shot at each other as you try to pull yourself back together, "so now what? You've got a not-a-smear of me that fell from the sky onto a secure military base, and where I'm from we didn't have," you paused to gesture between the paper and the two soldiers, "dynamics was it? That was just a fanfiction special."

"Fanfiction."

The way he said it was so carefully neutral you paused, "oh my god without Star Trek to popularize fanfiction and the fan community, how has fandom evolved? Is fanfiction a thing- well, yes, it does fanfics have been a thing since Dante Alighieri wrote the Divine Comedy and even before- well, the question is more if it's still popularized? Are there still the wattpad fics of- I am getting so off track. What exactly is the next step?"

You look from the nice man to the big fucker and back, neither saying anything but looking at you with careful blankness.

You felt like you were being weighed and measured in their eyes.

You hoped to anyone listening that you weren't found wanting at least. Not when you're in the shit situation it looks like you ever so increasingly fell into.

"Considering I'm. Not smear. And very much not from here? Are blanks a thing? Or is that what a beta is I'm," you trail off, brow furrowing, "fuzzy. On the whole thing. The flavor of understanding, dynamics, and population skew tended to be dependant on the author's level of horny."

The did get a bit of a snort from the pretty one before you, the one in the back tilting his head just so as the pretty one spurred you on, "okay please don't take this the wrong way, you have given me nothing to go on but A/B/O and-" a finger was raised in question to that, you quickly explaining, "the fanfic shorthand for the universe without being a mouthful. Anyway- I've seen population numbers being roughly the same across the board, I've seen alphas and omegas at roughly 1% of the population of society on either end, I've seen alphas at about 5% and omegas at 1%- those ones are usually the most horny I swear.

"And it's all over the board, no consistency- sometimes it's betas are infertile, sometimes they're the straightman to the comedy that's an alpha and omega trying to woo each other without being too horny to function. Sometimes it's a sliding scale where being beta just means you're more the more middle-ground regulated hormonally with alphas and omegas being the opposing ends of a spectrum. Can you please say something and give me a fucking break because my panic rambles are probably like. Some kinda prejudiced. I'm still not over the 'I'm supposed to be a smear on the ground we don't even have dental images of to confirm who it is anymore' nugget you dropped on me. I think I'm doing well for this"

You would rather not tell them that as soon as you're out of this box of a room you were gonna be curled up in a ball and unabashedly weeping. That was none of their business.

The pretty one gave you what you're sure was supposed to be a reassuring smile but the quiet stretched just a bit too long. You looked from one to the other before leaning forward, "is this supposed to be soothing in some way? Because it's just a bit of an extended awkward silence and that's uh-"

It was the big one in the back's turn to give an amused snort, the pretty one looking bashful, "right, sorry, we uh-"

You jerk a bit, "wait, was that supposed to be some scent thing," you really didn't wanna say pheromones and potentially dig yourself into a deeper, more awkward hole based on Horny Pseudoscience.

Pretty rubbed the back of his neck, "something like that. You really couldn't smell anything?"

You know the exact Face you're making. It's very much your 'I have told you this and I'm getting tired of having to repeat it' face. You can tell he clocks it but for the record, because to your mortification this has to be recorded, you simply give a succinct, "no, I haven't smelled anything. Not from you, not from him," you jerk your head towards the big fucker, "and not from douchebag from be- Williams! His name was Williams. Nothing. Really had no clue why you were fanning the door when you came in."

You sigh, rubbing the heels of your palms into your eyes, "okay. Assuming I'm not about to be put into past tense a second time. Do we have any idea what popped me out here?"

The sentences are stilted, you know you're getting more rattled the longer you're here but sue you alright it's been the worst six hours of your life here.

They just continue to look at you, pretty keeping a polite almost customer service look as big one just stares unceasingly.

"Right. Okay. Am I going to be reintegrated to society or is this," you gesture around the little room as much as you can, "looking like my home for the foreseeable future."

No change in what you can see of either's expression, and you just sag. Deep breath in, deep breath out, "cool. Alright. Well. I know nothing of how biology is altered here, I'm not sure how that has impacted changes throughout history, and frankly I don't know what your pop culture has done. I'm assuming math and written languages are largely the same but in all fairness I don't know what I don't know."

You just stare quietly at the table for a bit longer before looking back at the two of them, "is there anything else you need because I can feel the freakout creeping up and while I know there's no real privacy, uh…"

The pretty one looked back to the big one, at some point you're sure you'll get some sort of names but for now? Now you watch the big one nod, the pretty one give you a polite smile and some vaguely polite bullshit your brain is swiftly going too far out to hear.

You only hope that whoever is behind the mirror is polite enough to look away as you put your head down on the table and give yourself the opportunity to, just this once, cry. As a treat.

[Next Chapter -> ]

[ethan-acfan]

More desmond headcanons bc my blorb is scurrying around my head and won't leave.

Desmond develops chronic migraines from the animus like the really bad kind. The ones where you pass out and wake up in Pain™️

Desmond is weirdly good at singing, but he never tells anyone, and most of the time, when he sings around others, he does it ironically, so one day he is just humming a song and everyone is like "WTF YOU CAN SING?"

Des starts picking up odd habits from his ancestors, such as refusing to step into a room with his left foot (edward) or running his tongue along his scar.

He 100% blames himself for not getting clay out of the animus

Is creepily flexible, like to a concerning degree.

He strikes me as a language nerd he def has duolingo, and even before the animus, he knew like 15 different languages

He climbs walls (yes, I was a wall climber as a kid, yes I am projecting rn)

ADHD DESMOND

He once got a 70 year old bottle of whiskey from a "friend" from the bar, and he absolutely shows it off every chance he gets.

He has connections to gangs and has gone on bike rides with them.

He can't do basic math to save his life if someone puts a multiplication problem in front of him, he short circuits.

He starts getting really bad nose bleeds from the animus, scares the crap out of everyone.

Definitely knows how to flirt like FLIRT can turn the straightest of men gay for a night if need be. It just gets worse after going through ezios' memories.

Has a list of really weird talents but can't do basic tasks like, yeah, you can dislocate your shoulder and pop it back into place, but can you cook eggs without burning them🤨

Terrible at cooking (95% sure his food is banned under the Geneva Conventions)

Can't walk in a straight line he is the friend who bumps into 1000 times a minute while walking down the side walk.

He is weirdly silent, like even before the animus thing, he is always weirdly quiet like silent footsteps can't hear his breathing etc. He dosent mean to it just happens

The only training that really stuck from the farm was the stealth training it was also his favorite subject to work on he probably hated hand to hand combat.

He has never filed taxes a day in his life, but the IRS could never track him down. He honestly doesn't even know he supposed to be paying them. The IRS has a meltdown over this.

Ok, I think this was enough to satisfy the itch in my brain. I'm gonna go to bed, know I might post a one-shot about the IRS one tomorrow. Idk

[wanderingmind867]

My DC humour comics list for my reading order is massive. Ambush Bug, Angel and the Ape, Captain Carrot, the Inferior Five, 'Mazing Man, Blue Devil, all the DC animated tv show tie-in comics, Tiny Titans and like 80% of all the DC Zoom imprint graphic novels. That's a lot. By comparison, my Marvel list is paltry. We have Not Brand Echh, Spider-Ham, Howard the Duck, and maybe Squirrel Girl (once i get around to adding her stuff to my list). That's three characters and one parody/satire series from the 60s. That's not nearly enough. So i'm just gonna break down my tastes for people, and I will one day force someone to help me make this list (if only so my brain will be satisfied with having it stored in my phone).

I like humour comics in any era. But while I enjoy serious comics in the 60s, 70s and early 80s, I refuse to read any mainstream, serious superhero stuff after 1985/1986. I won't do it. So i need to know about humour comics from at least 1990-Today in terms of Marvel. Is modern Howard the Duck worth it, or does it all spit in the faces of Steve Gerber and Bill Mantlo's 80s masterpiece? Is deadpool worth it for someone who doesn't like heavy amounts of gore? Is Ms. Marvel too tied in to mainline comic events for me to read it, with my strict parameters? Is the Great Lakes Avengers any good? These are the things I need guidance on. Can anybody help me here?

I'm gonna tag all the Marvel related blogs I think i'm mutuals with, because that's at least one way to try and forcibly gain recommendations. Usually I wouldn't be this pushy online, but i think i'm getting desperate for answers. And before I forget, here's some characters i don't like (for reasons too long to get into here): blade, moon knight, mockingbird, the punisher. There's four characters I won't touch (unless they're minor pieces in another book, wherein i might tolerate them while grumbling). So with that in mind, the floor is yours: @marvel-and-moor @v4guelyv4mpiric @c00c00pig @munchkinmarauder @one-blaze-of--glory (took me forever to realize your blog name changed) and... I want to say @daresplaining? I don't remember if we're mutuals, but we talked once (I remember because part of is still saved in my drafts, after months and months). So yeah, the floor is all yours. Or anyone else's (if they choose to contribute).

[greenconverses]

Recently read: Closing in on the last batch of books of the year! If I try reaaaaaally hard, I might make it to 80, but 70-75 seems more likely.

Immortal Dark by Tigest Girma was another disappointing dark academia/urban fantasy, courtesy of Owlcrate. I liked chunks in the middle, but the first and last 100 pages dragged something fiercely. Like most YA/New Adult romantasy books these days, the world building and magic system were half-baked, and the romance was uninspired. Gonna take a break from my remaining Owlcrate pile because it's been rough. (★★.5)

Lost & Lassoed is Lyla Sage's best book so far, but I was still hoping for more from Teddy and Gus. Antagonistic characters falling in love is my fav, and while this scratched the itch, it didn't fully satisfy me. Gotta throw in more angst and drama with these types of romances, I think. (★★★.5)

Uzma Jalaluddin has done such great work with her contemporary Muslim Jane Austen adaptions, and Much Ado About Nada was no exception. I gasped when the twist was revealed -- always a good sign, haha. Excellent second chance romance. (★★★★.5)

While at the library the other day, I checked out every book in the Meant to Be series, which are contemporary adult adaptations of Disney stories. I read the Cinderella book a while back, but held off on By the Book because I don't vibe with Jasmine Guillory's writing style. Unfortunately, that's still true, which sucks because Beauty and the Beast is my FAVORITE and I'm so disappointed. Katherine Center did the "aspiring writer helps spoiled Hollywood man" concept so much better in The RomCommers, so just read that instead. I'm a little nervous about the other two books now, especially since the Tangled-inspired one is written by Christina Lauren and their quality is mixed, at best. I guess we'll see! (★★)

[thesupernaturalhouse]

Damn yall are liking this Hazbins Fallen au- I'm glad!! Honestly I was hoping people would like it but like, still a shock you know-

Anywaysss, I am busy but figured I'd post some fact/headcanons of the au, aoke plot points, mostly surrounding Emily because she's the main change of the au

Emily has a pretty big sweet tooth, and when she does get sweets she always gets extra for Razzle and Dazzle

Again, I will say this, Vaggie, Charlie and Emily are wrangle and dazzles moms. Keekee is not counting as a child cause the seems more like. A ept while Razzle and Dazzle seem mroe sentient, at least to me

Charlie and Seviathans relationship, post break up ofc, is like Ron Swanson and Tammy 2s, no the uh- getting back together part but the '....she's here-' part, Charlie absolutely hates his guts and whenever he's near her more demon features come out as she looks around trying to spot him

Emily barely holds herself back from killing slaviathen, you'd think it'd be Vaggie, but no, it's Emily

Emily design resembles a succubus, it was by complete accident, she lieks the color of horns and didn't realize what it could resemble-

Emily absolutely hates Al but hides it ebhidn a cheerful smile, silent anger so to speak(she does end up snapping at Al and I am so excited to write that scene)

Husk is Emily's father figure I already have a whole chaoter planned surrounding how they bon, Emily calls him dad from that chaoter onwards

Angle constantly makes 'I fucked you dad' jokes, even if they aren't true, at Em cause he knows it pushes her buttons....she retaliated by buying water balloons and throwing them at him one day when he makes the same joke again

Husk just watches.

In the pilot, vaggie holds up her spear and Emily pushes it down like "...no, no..." the Katy says soemthing homophobic and she immediately moves her hand away and says "nevermind. Do what you want."

Emily hates waking up early, she's done it for YEARS in heaven she'll eb damned if she does it for more in hell (plus there's nobody on her about being on time to places)

You knwo that scene where Husk is calling everyone out? Well, he looks at Emily and goes "and SHES....well....I've got nothing on her, she's perfect" you can tell who his favorite is

Remember when angle brings them ti a bdsm club? Yeah, I've- I've got a FUN scene idea for that-

Screw shoes let charlie show her hooves- especially since I 70% sure that hoped animals have to walk on their hooves or else they risk a lot of different things so- yeah, I'm throwing away her shoes.

Also have her show sone more demon features, I love making designs so much- and of course their gonna be more animalistic, cause I love expanding on animal nosies and behaviors and stuff, it was always planned tho I didn't have a specfici bird in mind for vaggie until the hawk feather exorcists au, she also makes moth noises

I am going to have so much fun making their designs-

Also, Emily and Peter are best friends in this au, mlm and wlw solidarity when they go back up to heaven while Sera is tlaking Peter is jsut staring at her

'I know' she knows he knows....she silently promises to catch him up before the trial and he finally looks away satisfied

I feel liek while Emily would be very quick to accept husk is her father figure I think Husk would be a bit hesitant to accept that HE is a father figure

You know victor from lackadaisy? I dont knwo why but I kinda like to imagine husk as him- like I'm debating if I should make husk have had a daughter when he was alive who he didn't get to see cause of the divorce and turned to alcoholism slowly. And Em reminds him if her and that makes him SCARED

Fun little idea I had that I may or may not include, depends how I'm feeling honestly, I do wanna ta leats keep some things liek how 'gruff' he is and apply it to husk, idm I feel like their personalities are every similar, thoguh that might jsut be me-

Husk would teach Emily how to play Chess

Charlie knows Vaggie and Emily are angles and all that stuff, as I've said before. So I'm debating wether or not to keep Al's deal in, I think I will but tweak it a bit

I love Al, but he is an above avrage overlord at best, the only reason he was able to fight agaisnthe exrocists and Adam was due to them not being used to people attacking BACK and seeing it more as entertainment then actual hunting.

Anyways Em may or may not call him out casually on multiple occasions- 'he does realize if he fights Adam he'll die- oh, and there he goes called it!' She doesn't like him

Em was very much called 'lucifers replacement' by many angles, not Sera but even Sera soemtimes accidentally said lucis name instead of Ems at Keats a few times. Anyways she hates lucifer despite never meeting him and for soem reaosn never realized he was Charlie's father-

Al and Rosie are Charlie's uncle and aunt, foudn family my beloved

The reveal that Emily is Emily the seraphim....well, lets hsut say when revealing vaggie to be an exrocist doesn't work. lute notices how fimiliar Em looks..... it's gonna be a very interesting chaote rthats for certain

Speaking of the episode list- probably gonna alter them cut ep6 into 2 parts to, I'll make a diffeent post about it-

[demonlordclayman]

Some of you probably saw my silly little post and now it's time for the more Serious ™️version:

Reasons Clayman's Revenge Is Worth Reading, Even If You Don't Like Clayman

(I've tried to keep this spoiler free but I do mention the names of some characters who appear in the LNs but not yet in the manga/anime. I believe this is vague enough not to spoil anything but now you know.)

One of the most fascinating things that drew me in (besides the fact that I love a fancy villain) is the world building. Tensura has a lot of intriguing world building, which is part of the reason why I liked the main timeline so much in the first place. Clayman's Revenge expands on this world building quite a lot, especially considering it takes place 70 years before Rimuru arrives.

This enables it to tackle such things as:

Why were the orcs starving in the first place? This is thoroughly explored and explained in Revenge (and I'm not gonna spoil it for you)!!!

What was the world like before Rimuru arrived and caused massive changes? Rimuru was a catalyst for so many changes in the world.

Who is Clayman really? For reasons I won't say due to them being LN 16 spoilers, the Clayman we see in the main timeline isn't quite himself.

Insight into the Eastern Empire's earlier movements and the Mystic Village

What is it like to live as someone not as insanely powerful as Rimuru? Seeing Clayman learn and grow gives a lot of insight into how totally absurd Rimuru is. Clayman is a far more "normal" example, and gives insight into the world through his lack of absurd, overpowered skills.

How off the rails is the timeline going to get when small changes are made?

(And all this is in the existing 33 chapters - I'm excited every month to see what else we're going to learn!)

We also, of course, get insights into the people around Clayman, like the Moderate Jesters and Clayman's other subordinates. In fact, we see a lot of cameos and get to meet new characters!

For cameos, I think it's easiest to just a bunch of 'em out so you can see that Revenge is about a lot more characters than just Clayman. In no particular order:

Milim Nava, Ramiris, Raine, Carrion, Chronoa (non-LN readers, you don't know who this is), Guy, Luminus, Laplace, Footman, Tear, Kazalim mentions, Yuuki mentions, Kanzis (again non-LN readers, ignore this one), Yamza, Mjurran, Pirone and the Koenigs, Alvaro, Adalmann. (I'm sure I've missed some but this is a pretty decent start, right?)

I anticipate there will be more - we know Fuse loves a big cast, and it seems to me like Revenge is a means of exploring and explaining the world even further.

Additionally, while Revenge is dropping all this lore, I think it's also primarily a comedy. It's been light-hearted 70% of the time, with cool battles and the occasional serious moments, and as mentioned a hell of a lot of lore. It is fun to read, and hey, if you dislike Clayman he really struggles at the beginning so you might find that satisfying.

I mean, look how soggy he is. Look at him. Soggy little meow meow of a man at the beginning (and beyond, I'll be honest-).

(good thing I like that in a fictional man what who said that)

But even so, I think that as you get to know him and see him grow, you can't help but come to like him as a protagonist. I've heard other folks agree with the sentiment, in any case 😁

He was definitely NOT an endearing character in the main series, but this manga is still MAJORLY worth a read for the reasons outlined above, and also because it turns out Clayman is kind of a lovable dork. Look at him, just look at him-

I'm getting off track here.

ANYWAY thanks for reading, and I hope you'll give it a try!

look at him

[elvisbdoll]

“Velvet Chains”

Chapter 2

Summary: Velvet Chains follows the intense and dangerous relationship between Camille, a confident and independent woman, and Elvis Presley, a charismatic yet troubled star of the 70s. When Camille enters Elvis’s world, she quickly becomes the object of his obsession. Despite his fame and charm, Elvis’s personality is darkened by mood swings and jealousy, fueled by his reliance on pills. As the two grow closer, Camille finds herself caught in the grip of his possessiveness, torn between her desire for freedom and the undeniable pull of Elvis’s passion.

Pairing: 70s!ElvisXBlack!Oc

Trigger Warnings Substance Abuse (pills, drugs), Jealousy/Obsessiveness, Emotional Abuse, Manipulative Behavior, Possessiveness, Mood Swings/Anger Issues, Toxic Relationships, Psychological Abuse, Dangerous Obsession, cursing, Elvis being an asshole sometimes.

Monday, July 14, 1975

Camille pulled her cardigan tighter around her shoulders as she walked down the bustling street. The summer heat had relented just enough to make the evening tolerable, and the scent of honeysuckle lingered faintly in the humid air. Her shift at the bookstore had been long but satisfying, with the familiar weight of old books and the quiet hum of customers keeping her grounded.

The bell above the store’s entrance had chimed constantly that day, but one man stood out—a tall figure in dark sunglasses and a too-perfect suit. He hadn’t said much, just browsed the aisles and left with a couple of books, but his presence had unsettled her. Something about the way he looked at her—calculated, as though he knew more than he should—made her skin prickle.

She shook the thought away as she rounded the corner to her apartment. Her world was small, and she liked it that way. Simple routines, quiet evenings, and the occasional indulgence in a live blues performance were enough. She wasn’t looking for complications.

But complications were already looking for her.

————————————

Back at Graceland, Elvis paced the room, his nerves raw and fraying. The information had come in hours ago, and he’d read the report over and over, his fingers tracing the name as though it would give him some new insight.

Camille Hayes.

It wasn’t a name he recognized, but now it was etched into his mind. She worked at a bookstore in downtown Memphis, frequented a handful of bars and cafés, and lived in a modest apartment on the east side. A regular life, a quiet life.

A life that was about to be anything but quiet.

“She’s somethin’, isn’t she?” Jerry asked cautiously from the doorway, holding a glass of water.

Elvis turned sharply, his blue eyes flashing. “Don’t start with me, Jerry. Just tell me what else you found.”

Jerry shifted uncomfortably. “That’s about it, E. She’s a private kinda girl. No boyfriend that we know of, keeps to herself mostly. We didn’t wanna dig too deep without you sayin’ so.”

Elvis’s jaw tightened. He didn’t like the idea of her being a mystery, of there being any part of her life he didn’t know. It gnawed at him, fed into the restless energy that had been coursing through him since Friday night.

He set the report down and ran a hand through his hair, his mood swinging sharply. “She didn’t even look at me, Jerry. Like I wasn’t even there.”

Jerry frowned. “E, not everybody’s gonna recognize you—”

“That ain’t the point!” Elvis snapped, slamming his fist onto the desk. “It’s how she looked at the room, how she carried herself. Like she don’t need nobody. Like she’s above it all.”

His voice dropped, a dangerous edge creeping in. “But she ain’t above me. She’ll know who I am soon enough.”

Jerry sighed, setting the water down and leaving without another word.

————————————

Camille’s apartment was small but cozy, filled with mismatched furniture and walls lined with bookshelves. She’d just settled onto the couch with a cup of tea when a strange feeling crept over her, like she was being watched. She glanced at the window, but the curtains were drawn, and the street below was quiet.

Shaking her head, she picked up her book, determined to shake the unease.

But Elvis was already parked in his car just a block away.

The dark Cadillac sat idle, its engine humming softly as Elvis leaned back in the driver’s seat. He’d come here on a whim, unable to sit still knowing he had her name and address. He hadn’t expected much—maybe just a glimpse of her shadow behind the curtains, something to satisfy the restless ache in his chest.

But the sight of her, even from this distance, only made it worse.

She was beautiful, but it wasn’t just her looks. It was the way she moved, the way she held herself. She wasn’t like the women who crowded his shows, throwing themselves at him and hanging on his every word. She was different, and it both frustrated and intrigued him.

He gripped the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles turning white. He had to see her again, but it couldn’t be like this. Not yet.

As he drove away, a plan began to form in his mind. He wasn’t going to leave this to chance. Camille Hayes didn’t know it yet, but she was already his.

——————————

Elvis rarely went anywhere without his inner circle—the Memphis Mafia—and tonight was no different. As the Cadillac rolled slowly through Camille’s quiet street, the car was crowded with familiar faces. Sonny West rode shotgun, his sharp eyes scanning the surroundings, while Red West and Joe Esposito lounged in the back, half-listening to the low hum of the car radio.

The mood in the car was tense. Elvis’s obsession with the mystery woman had everyone on edge, and they all knew better than to question him when he got like this.

“E, you sure about this?” Sonny finally asked, breaking the silence.

Elvis didn’t answer right away, his gaze fixed on the rearview mirror. He’d caught a glimpse of Camille earlier when she’d walked into her apartment, her long skirt swaying in the warm evening breeze. Now, the windows of her small place were lit, her shadow moving faintly behind the curtains.

“Sonny,” Elvis said slowly, his voice low and measured, “you ever see somethin’ you just can’t get outta your head? Like it’s burnin’ there, and it won’t go away ‘til you do somethin’ about it?”

Sonny exchanged a wary glance with Red in the back seat. “Yeah, E. I guess so.”

“That’s what she is to me,” Elvis muttered, almost to himself. “A burnin’ thing. And I ain’t gonna let it go out.”

Joe, always the level-headed one, leaned forward. “E, maybe you should sleep on it. We can look into her some more, find out what she’s about before you—”

“I already know enough,” Elvis snapped, cutting him off. His mood shifted in an instant, his frustration bubbling to the surface. “I don’t need to hear about what I should or shouldn’t do. I know what I want.”

His voice softened, but his words carried a dangerous edge. “And I always get what I want.”

The rest of the car ride was silent, tension thick enough to cut with a knife. When they finally turned off her street, Elvis leaned back in his seat, his mind racing. He could still see her in his head—those bold, effortless movements, the way she hadn’t spared him so much as a second glance.

He clenched his fists. She didn’t know it yet, but Camille Hayes was his, and no one—not her, not anyone—was going to stand in his way.

Later That Night – Graceland

Back at the mansion, the air was heavy with smoke and the faint smell of bourbon. Elvis sat in the jungle room, the dim lighting casting long shadows across the animal prints and carved wood. Jerry and Sonny stood nearby, while Red leaned against the wall, arms crossed. The atmosphere was tense; everyone could feel the shift in Elvis’s mood since they’d gotten home.

“Red,” Elvis barked, breaking the silence. “I want you to keep an eye on her. Quietly. I don’t want her knowin’ a thing. You hear me?”

Red nodded, his expression neutral. “Got it.”

“And Sonny,” Elvis continued, his voice dropping to a menacing growl, “if anyone tries to get close to her, I wanna know. I don’t care who it is—man, woman, friend, or family. I wanna know everything.”

Sonny hesitated. “E, don’t you think this is a little… I mean, she’s just some girl. What if she doesn’t want—”

“Doesn’t want what?” Elvis interrupted sharply, his blue eyes narrowing. “To know me? To be part of somethin’ bigger than that little life of hers? She don’t know it yet, Sonny, but she’s meant for more. And I’m the one who’s gonna give it to her.”

His words hung in the air, and for a moment, no one dared to speak. Then Elvis leaned back in his chair, a dark smile spreading across his face.

“Y’all just wait. She’ll come ‘round.”

———————————-

Camille’s Apartment

Unaware of the storm brewing around her, Camille sat curled up on her couch, a glass of wine in one hand and a book in the other. The quiet hum of the radio played in the background, filling the space with the soft crooning of an old blues tune.

She sighed, letting the music wash over her. Tonight had been uneventful, just another ordinary day in her ordinary life. She had no idea that just a few miles away, a man with a larger-than-life presence and a dangerously possessive streak was plotting his next move.

And soon, her life would be anything but ordinary.

TAG: @kxnnxy @jhoneybees @gyratingpresley @buglass @iloveelvisss @rjmartin11

[neutrallyobsessed]

Do you have any headcannons of abe from clone high? Most of mine are angsty because of my trauma projecting onto him but I headcannon he's autistic, transfem and closeted bisexual

You seem to be opposite me with yo' angsty hcs and certain disregard of canon. But that's aight, I support playing with the characters like dollies, whichever way it may be~~

For me, working with what I'm familiar with and the sake of simplicity, I have Abe in the default cis-het settings and thinking of mental health things is the opposite of simple so I omit it as well

But also, at the top of my head....... well, he's not exactly in my mind all the time so i don't have anything thought out really. Abe is a pretty well-rounded... uhh well-squared character so its not easy to find empty spaces to fill with one's own interpretation so I'll try my best^^:

His Lincoln Collection started with (excluding currency) commemorative pins and weird string marionettes.

And after 20 years there's a lot more to catch up!!

Abe is the only one to still have like, pictures of Gandhi, things to remember him by.

Which is why he's the only one who remembers Gandhi by name and all.

And yes, he's most likely to be first in finding him (i just don't know how yet xd)

He has the habit of putting people in either pedestals or specific roles (Gandhi is the funny friend, Joan is the serious girl friend, Cleo is the serious girlfriend) and can get quite upset when they don't do what he expects them to do

But he never verbalizes this beyond a "You're not acting like yourself!"

He got that Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney vibes ngl. Overly attachted and willing to die for those he loves. Quite literally for his detriment. And the kinda bitchy inner monologue ;vv

But not the Attorney part. Topher showed him that he could not be able to defend someone who is either guilty or lying about not being guilty.

He likes lighthouses but he could never become an operator, too lonely of a job for him who seems to enjoy social interactions (even if he's bad at it xd)

So idk what he'd do for a living but I imagine Gandhi could be there

My mind is going to trains actually x3

I like the cat-lover idea. I'll include it in my system of beliefs.

He likes pussy lol, that's pretty straight guy behavoir ngl xdd

Music between the 50s and 70s enjoyer. Sounds that are perky and fun and great to dance to!

He also collects coins~! It did start with Lincoln faces and now has over 100 coins not just from the US but many other countries too!

Not all that good with geography tho, prolly not able to point in a map where each coin belongs to lol

Been thinking of the Joanpher future (hi anon who asked bout it, tis gonna be a long one too) and how Abe is gonna be relevant again there so here some tidbits to fill that space xd

There are 2 timelines: One with a MaryAbe end and one with a FridAbe end

I don't have much planned out but Fridabe happens when they're 20 but she dies around her 50s

And I haven't figured out when Abe becomes a ghost with Mary but it does happend and they have an open relationship of sorts cause they need souls to survive and it apperantly works in succubus/inccubus ways

He likes freaky, slutty girls, that's kinda canon tbh lmaooo

I hope this improvised rambling satisfies you ♥