#is certainly something alright
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"o captain my captain 🫡" oh hes so in love roddy in love with a finn? more news at 11
Panthers Championship Parade | 6.30.24
#evan rodrigues#aleksander barkov#florida panthers#also yelling at your beloved captain to get his attention#and then spraying him with champagne from a bus away as he tries to catch the spray with his mouth#to which you then turn the bottle so that you yourself may drink out of#is certainly something alright#yeah its certainly something#LMAO EVEN LUOSTY WANTED SOME BABY SIT DOWN#we have gotten delightfully drunk luosty hes such a joy but someone put him on a leash and chain him to a bed to sleep and give him water#sweetheart we cannot be toddling around LIKE THIS
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You know, i've been thinking about the way Batman keeps danger and weapons so close to his body, so tight to himself, practically tied around his neck, that joker often has no way left but to grab for him if he wants something Batman has. Batman does not want to be left out of Joker's plans, his story, he wants in on Joker's narrative by any means he can make it happen. It's such particular "you take me with you wherever you are, it's your punishment, just as it's my punishment to take you with me wherever i am" statement. Batman actively leaves no choice for Joker but to get very very close to him and claim him as part of his win or his loss. I mean,
he didn't have to. he could've put the key in one of his waist pouches, push it into the back of his left boot, he could've tied it around his bicep, i dont care— he could've done whateverthefuck with it. But he had to put it around his neck, and intentionally invite Joker to "come and get it". Something something classic cliche of the way lovers' bond is signified by a necklace-adjacent item and the way they interact with it; hold unto it, toss it, tie it around their necks, giving it back, not giving it back, necklaces as items of reverance and revenge. Something something a tie around neck being a sign of being claimed and owned,
#this is the first night in 2 months where i got good sleep of course i woke up and had batjokes popping on my brain screen#''99+ unread emails'' style#the whole invitation thing is. certainly something#i mean bro. a ''you will take that wish to the grave with you'' would do just fine or#or ''you will not have it.''#Bruce wants his fights alright. He's uneasy with being left out of things often but he's particularly uneasy#with being left out of Joker's narrative#and it's far less about him ''being the only one strong enough to deal with him'' than he'd like to admit#batjokes#batjokes meta#Batman#Batman meta
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Google, play "Closer" by Nine Inch Nails
#alright this is the thing that will finally get me canceled JDJFKGKGKKGKG#this is for you ruby 😭 ty for sending me that pic and making me distracted the entire day#i randomly thought of this when i was walking to class and then just wanted to get home so badly#THEY'RE GONNA CELEBRATE ON THEIR OWN TOGETHER 🤭🤭#hes gonna 'tuck him in bed' again. well he'll certainly be tucking smth somewhere HDJFJGKGKLG#i feel unhinged posting this 😭😭😭#truly the power of oscarmark making me post this kinda thing#haha get it google? cause mclaren is sponsored by google???#thats their song. to me. okay#mark smilied when oscar said he had to 'hang on for dear life'#well he'll be hanging onto the bed for dea- DJFJKFGK o#its so funny cause the only time ive gotten a hate anon was after I posted a very innocuous oscarmark art#so. this is uhhhhhhh yeah#ik it's not THAT bad in the scheme of things but little teasy hinty things like this make me very insane 😭#pup. something something inherent pet play something#also yeah canonically fernando saw this happen. he knows that look in mark's eyes#oscarmark#pibber#<- i think ill only tag those cause i dont think i should put it in the main tag#catie.art.
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are u a medic fictionkin? /gq sorry im just really confused
there are some questions that science just cant answer-
#putting my longer answer in the tags#which is that 1) ive gotten this question so many times.. im wondering if i should put it in my pinned post at this point#2) its a very long answer but it mostly comes down to 'i have some hypotheses but i dont have enough data'#and 'i havent found a term that perfectly describes my experiences so i dont confirm anything in case it leads people to wrong assumptions'#2.5) no i dont really identify with the term fictionkin for the above reasons but its not Completely inaccurate either#theres just more too it than that#but i dont owe an explanation of my state of being to anyone which leads me to#3) why does it matter?#i am not mad that people keep asking#there is nothing wrong with being curious and i know this is the sort of thing that a lot of people will be curious about#but its also something im in no rush to answer nor do i owe anyone an answer to it#and certainly not until its an answer i am confident about#but i digress#im sure some of my other followers are tired of seeing this question so often too so i will leave it at that#im medic tf2 Real (not as a delusional attachment though i know someone asked about that too)#but beyond that you will just have to use your imagination#grins#alright that is enough rambling#the doc is in
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ok maybe i dont hate ibis paint
#just found out about the little preset backgrounds#i am distraught that i didnt notice them earlier#metagala#??? i think#this certainly looks pretty gay#the shading is also a bit wonky but i think it looks alright#oh also they're fluffier#i think kirbypurrs's art style looks really nice and i wanted to add more fluff to the orbs#*kirbypurrs'#purrs's doesnt make any sense why did i type that#sssssss#what was i talking about#oh yeah#galacta knight#meta knight#turtle's art hoard#i really hate the name of that tag now but i dont think i can just change it#hoards are for dragons#i should've said turtles shell or something#aaa
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What are your favourite telltale signs that a fanfic was written by an american?
Some that always sticks out to me:
- Characters drinking lots of coffee
- Tea with cream instead of milk (it’s not unheard of, but it’s not your standard cup of tea)
- People mentioning hospital bills
- Being unable to write smokers casually
- Sirius is salivating for a Harley Davidson and not a Triumph
Okay honestly the tea thing in general is a BIG one. I think people don't always understand the way tea is consumed in the UK, how ingrained it is in daily life. Ive basically got a rotating cup of tea all day. Growing up in my house, even when we lived in america, someone would offer to make tea basically hourly lol. There's different situations when tea is offered in slightly different ways, different ways of making tea like builder's tea, different things that are served with tea, tea meaning 'dinner' in some regions, and these customs are hard to understand unless you've lived them.
Often Remus is portrayed as a tea fanatic because he offers tea when Harry visits him, which is always funny to me because that's just the normal thing to do when someone's visiting.
Another tea-related one I encountered once (this made me laugh a LOT and I felt a bit bad for the author) was that Lily 'woke up to the smell of tea.' This is an instance I think using coffee would have been alright lol, they obviously just replaced 'coffee' with 'tea', not realising tea doesn't really smell much when you make it and definitely doesn't waft about the house like coffee does. James would have to be holding the cup under her nose or brewing several large vats of the stuff in the same room lol
I agree with the ones you've said. In what was once the most popular jily fic in the fandom, there's a whole thing with Lily somewhat righteously trying to get James to quit smoking when, in the 70s, everyone and your nan smoked, even indoors, and Lily herself probably would have too. In a lot of Europe young people from all walks of life will casually smoke. rah where's my baccy etc
Similar to the Harley thing, there's often a lot of American music/TV/food/pop culture used. Or anachronistic stereotypically British things like everyone being into the Beatles.
THE NAMES. Characters having surnames that are very much from America's immigrant heritage, polish or german etc, like 'Schneider' and 'Kowalski' and things. First names too, this is a bit less dire but a lot of names common in the US wouldn't have been given to a child in the 60s. Specifically aristocratic characters would have a particular set of names, although pureblood conventions are obv a bit different than irl.
Another one is general drinking culture. Like I mentioned the idea of, honestly, anyone who isn't an obvious child being asked for ID in a pub is very silly haha, unless maybe in a student area. Whereas in America they'll ask everyone for ID before they let them sit down. (even my 60yr old dad has been asked lol)
in my experience Americans have a strange relationship with alcohol in general, which is both slightly puritan and enthusiastic. My theory is that this is because of prohibition (I find this very historically interesting) and they aren't as prone to casual daily drinking as Europeans, rather they tend to go all out on specific occasions. I love an American house party haha, but I don't think Americans would go for work drinks at the pub as often.
Exaggerated distances between places. Working class families having multiple cars and big houses and driving everywhere even within London. Aristocratic characters doing things they'd never do and having things they'd never have. The Blacks are often portrayed as too fantabulously wealthy imo in a very Rockerfeller New England-y way. Also they wouldn't speak French to each other lol
In general class distinctions, which are very important in the UK, are difficult to understand from an outside perspective I think.
However, I think the main tell for me is usually dialogue, SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG:
This issue, tbf, is very understandable. It's very difficult to achieve natural-sounding dialogue for dialects that you're not personally familiar with. Tbh I think it's not always easy to achieve natural-sounding dialogue in general for anyone. I've lived in America too and now have lived in a non-english speaking country for many years, mostly speaking catalan/spanish on a daily basis, so I get confused too and I use american phrases picked up either during my time there or from the internet. Anyway point is I think about/notice dialogue a lot, so here are my thoughts.
There's often overuse/misuse of slang or certain terms that can end up being amusing, like that fan film using 'a row' constantly to describe a bitter fight to the death between sworn enemies haha. Over/misuse of things like 'bloody,' 'wanker,' 'twat' lol. Understanding what types of characters would say what, and in what situations, can be tricky. 'Pants' is a common mistake because in BrE it means underpants, not trousers. 'Restroom' is also very American. 'College' meaning 'university' ditto. 'Pissed' for angry rather than 'drunk,' 'mad' also to a lesser extent-- I'd normally understand 'are you mad' as 'are you crazy.'
I saw a tumblr post once, one I thought would be a bit mean to reply to directly, in which a character jokes to Sirius about 'doing fags' because he smokes cigarettes and is in a relationship with Remus. lmao. That's a good example of someone trying to use a slang term without understanding the way it's really used. Also a good example of someone gratuitously using a slur (which is more common in America anyway) for no reason lol oh well
In general, I think since Americans are used to hollywood portrayals of British characters who mostly use something akin to RP, even authors who are diligent about BrE can end up sounding a bit stilted and a bit pride and prejudice-y with their teen characters (except with 'bloody wanker!' sprinkled in occasionally.) And this is fine, I don't think it's fair to expect perfectly natural/accurate dialogue from fanfic authors all the time, wherever they're from. But a line like "Yes, it must have been nice" might sound more natural as "Yeah, must've been nice," though it depends on the character obv.
Personally I think I overuse contractions because I find them fun (I love a cheeky 'oughtn't' or a 'mightn't.' or 'shouldn't've' lol. tbh im always saying 'ought' and 'ought not' irl but that's just me being weird.) But contractions and dropping certain words is common in informal BrE, what's tricky is that if this is misused it also sounds odd. So it's a difficult balance to get right. For instance: 'it would be nice if they had' can become 'be nice if they had' but not 'be nice if they.' or 'be nice if they'd.' This was a professionally made video game rip but there's a character in Mass Effect who talks like that, it drove me mad.
I love to think about accents and dialects and dialogue in general (which is why this got so long sorry) and imo the key is just familiarising yourself with a dialect as much as possible and making sure you hear the accent in your head as you write. Using slang terms in ways you've heard them used before, and carefully. For younger characters you'll want to watch something like the inbetweeners rather than bridgerton haha. Or something like Would I Lie To You or Taskmaster where there's a variety of panelists and therefore of accents, both series are free on youtube and are excellent!
#the ID thing in america is so wild and i always forget when i go there#they wont accept my spanish ID so i have to bring my passport with me everywhere#anyway personally i think people should use flippin' a bit more haha. esp for the 70s.#replies#i was reading something earlier where everyone was saying 'yes' to each other back and forth#'yes i think so. do you agree?' 'yes and are you coming to the show?' 'yes i shall be there'#which i think is uncommon in casual speech even in america#where ppl say 'yep/sure/sounds good' a lot#and for a british character i'd use 'yeah/alright' or if theyre a dumbledoreish character 'indeed/quite so/certainly'#not that ppl don't say 'yes' EVER haha. it's just less common than you'd think#there are other things i can point out (i truly think about this a LOT) but anyway. its too long already
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DOCTOBER '24 ⸺ 「 11 / 31 * IT WORKS 」
22:06
November 12, 1955
Three blinding flashes of light.
Three earth-shaking tremors that shake him to his very core.
Three sonic booms that lash out so fiercely, they pierce through the fabric of space and time.
Instinct tells him to raise his hand and shield his eyes from what he’s about to witness. This knowledge will blind you—you have already seen too much, you should not see this too. Awe, responsibility, and scientific curiosity stay that hand—I must make sure Marty makes it back to his own time—and keep his attention focused on the road as the temporal displacement occurs.
It all happens in the span of a single one of Emmett's frantic heartbeats and when everything is finally over, when an eerie, artificial silence settles into the empty spaces around him, he isn't entirely sure what's happening.
Doubt burrows its way into his mind, carried on the long shadows cast by the brilliant burst of light. Something has gone wrong, the connecting hook wasn’t properly attached to the Flux Capacitor and the power overloaded the Time Vehicle’s delicate and complex circuitry, and Marty—
As he rises to his feet, slightly unsteady, Emmett blinks the spots from his vision and looks around for any sign that his worst fears have been made reality.
There's nothing there.
There’s nothing and Emmett has never been so grateful for that in his life. No crash, no great ball of fire–however, interestingly, the Time Vehicle did leave thin fire trails during displacement that were rapidly dying out–and, most importantly, no Marty.
Emmett lets out a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding to the relief of his burning lungs.
The Time Machine and Marty are back where they belong and, for the moment, Emmett allows himself to get lost in the excitement of a successful experiment and ignore the now-surfacing thoughts born of its conclusion and a mind coming down off the adrenaline, laser-focused on one singular thought.
No, there will be time for that later. Thirty years' worth of time.
A wide grin splits his face and he can’t find himself to care if it makes him look certifiably insane as he races down the street in Marty’s temporal shadow, shouting his enthusiasm to the sky.
On the wire, the connecting hook holds strong, waving its goodbyes to a spectre.
Everything had been fine.
Everything will be fine; he’ll see to that, whatever it takes.
See you in the future, kid.
#back to the future#bttf#bttfdoctober#doctober 2024#i fucking love the ending scene to pt1 (and the opening to pt3 technically haha) because that whole scene outside the courthouse#before they try and send marty back is EVERYTHING#there's so much to that scene to break down and talk about honestly#and we don't get a lot of doc after the fact beyond his delight that it worked and marty's home#but there's so much to that scene like#'55 doc has witnessed time travel for the first time. he's witnessed HIS creation in action and successfully temporally displace marty#he had no idea if it was going to work. he had no idea what displacement was going to look like - and it was a bang not a whimper#that's for sure#it's a whole ass spectacle and absolutely fitting for the gravity of the moment#and i think as the scene unfolds more (as it would've if not for marty's reappearance in pts2 & 3) and doc starts taking down the#equipment - there's a lot going through his mind#like now he's got confirmation that this works. that HE built it and it works (awesome!!)#but now he has to build it. and he's gotta do it exactly the same way and by this hard specific deadline. period. full stop.#he's seen things he probably shouldn't've. will that have serious repercussions on the timeline? will he know if it begins to unravel?#if he's fucked something up?#doc's not the kind of guy to ignore these things - he's always thinking about this stuff#and while he's thrilled in the moment - the lone pine timeline was a lot rougher for doc in terms of the stress of getting the time machine#finished on time. and knowing that one day marty'll be his friend and never knowing WHEN. god. thirty years is such a long time to wait#to re-meet the person you'll call your best friend. (alright technically not the full thirty since they don't meet in '85 but#you get my point.)#so i wanted to write just the immediate aftermath#the delorean is physically gone but the weight of it is most certainly not gone and it will be weighing on doc until '85
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You know, when I was first researching neurodivergence (and autism and ADHD in particular) and wondering if I was, in fact, neurodivergent, I brought my conclusions to my mom and she said:
"I mean, you're gifted, right? So you already are neurodivergent???"
So here's to her (kinda) and her words. Giftedness is a neurodivergence, in my opinion. From what I've seen, a lot of the traits overlap with common autistic and/or ADHD traits too, especially regarding overexcitabilities, and a lot of researchers talking about the topic describe giftedness with the same kind of "your brain is just made differently" and "you're just wired differently" language as they use for other neurodivergent conditions. But I also say this because I've seen some gifted people who, while struggling with some "autistic/ADHD traits," don't have all the traits necessary for an autism or ADHD diagnosis. Giftedness is a label for them that encompasses the struggles they have without saying that they don't struggle enough or forcing them to try to fit into a mold that isn't them. And I get that; when I was first questioning, I didn't think I had enough autistic traits to count for a diagnosis either, so I took comfort in a "gifted" label. (Not to say that all gifted people are just autistic people and/or people with ADHD that don't realize, or that all gifted people are just people who don't have enough traits for a diagnosis! That was just the case for me and the folks I've been around, but I've also heard the case of it not being that.)
But if I am gifted, then I also have autism. A lot of my struggles are, honestly, just better described by autism than just by a byproduct of giftedness. My struggles with people and with "being too much," my sensory differences (and yes, sometimes issues), my stimming, and some of my executive dysfunction all sound like autistic traits to me more than a mix of psychomotor and sensual overexcitabilities and a whole bunch of coincidental byproducts of my being gifted and hanging out with nongifted peers. Don't get me wrong; based on my family history, background, and traits, I honestly probably am gifted lol. But it's not just that.
So this is me saying that if the people around you are saying that you're just gifted, you're free to look for other, perhaps better explanations for your feelings and experiences. But if you are just gifted, you're still free to call yourself neurodivergent! My gifted traits lead to me feeling just as ostracized sometimes as my autistic ones, so who am I to police that label?
#I hope this isn't controversial I'd hate for a bunch of folks to come here and start arguing /srs#legitimately hate just the idea of having to deal with that#I just like to talk about myself and part of myself is this#I'd say “one of the rare times this isn't about being nonhuman” but I'm trying to keep this an open blog for my thoughts#since if I make it a “nonhuman blog” then once I stop fixating on this and it becomes another part of my identity#I'll forget about this blog and just vanish#and that's already happened once with a vocaloid blog so I'm trying to prevent it#I just want to stay away from toxicity or discohrse cause that certainly wouldn't help my life or mental health#I made this blog to help me feel better not worse lol#anywayssss#actually gifted#since I heard of someone asking gifted folks to use this tag like they do “actually autistic” and “actually ADHD” ones#I hope you'll take this post#I might post more about giftedness in the future so I'll use that one if I do :D#intellectual giftedness#actually autistic#also ADHD but that'd be a lot to mention here#just know that's why I said *some* of my executive dysfunction#if my experience feels off that might be why#autism#oh and here's the “I probably got something wrong about giftedness go do your own research please (I promise it's fun!)#and if you are gifted I'm sorry if I got stuff majorly wrong“ disclaimer#alright NOW it's time for breakfast XD#gifted kid syndrome#gifted kid burnout
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almost a week until gloom division. i cannot handle this omg
#AAUHGGAGHAHFHFJFNFHDGDGWAHGSHH#WE HAVE BEEN WAITING SO LONG. FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER I AM FEELING IMPATIENT#i think its the gloom vinyls i preordered. the yearning for them is certainly not easing the process#i wish theyd just ship them sooner. im gonna wait 3 weeks for them regardless so why not ship them 2 weeks early you know 😭#i really just wanna figure out what the decoder does. and what the lyric booklet entails.#AND I WANNA SEE MY BELOVED SIGNED COPY <3#AUUAGEGAHAGGFNMGHMGGHHHHHHGGG#I CANT HANDLE THIS#i hope no one spoils what the decoder does#IM SO EXCITED TO SEE THE ALBUM COVER CHANGE TOO. CAUSE APPARENTLY LIKE THE SKY WILL TURN GREY AND HIS SUIT WILL TURN BLACK I THINK !!!!!#OUGHHHHHH IM SO EXCITED. BUT FOR NOW 😭 WE HAVE TO WAIT#idkhow#chase said something alright
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I don’t know if I have what it takes to do this, in terms of talent and skill and willpower, but if so I have absolutely no idea what to do otherwise
#I’m okay with being a just kinda alright artistically but being just alright and unemployed can only go on for so long and the gap grows#I feel so stupid but also any other route I can imagine feels false…#I had something like a dream for a little bit maybe that’s it#and i don’t think that complacency is the whole of the problem but it certainly isn’t helping.. but it’s hard to feel motivated..#even those who I feel like are giving it their all and leveling up at rapid speeds are just as unemployed.. does it even matter#but am I wasting time by not trying harder? I have a good amount of work + relevant experience.. still not enough#whatever me and a few hundred others so it goes#I just don’t know what to do with the days and worried with each day I’m screwing myself over for the future w each choice
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I did it. I finally found my middle name. I've been set on what I'll change my first and last name to for years now, but I was tossing around different middle names still, and it's been one of the things that's kept legally changing my name as not a priority. But I've finally connected to a middle name and I'm kinda itching to finally make it offical offical now. So think it's becoming more of a priority at long last.
#Maybe I'll finally do it next year#will have to see. Been waiting for all the formal forms surrounding like#fathers death inheritance stuff to process#but i wonder if it truly matters???#Not sure how tha works. May be like that I need to send the change of name docs to them as like a hey just so you know!#Is something ill have to do for a lot of legal things#Like centrelink and my bank accounts and rentals and so on hm#Its the other reason ive not done it yet but im more egar to figure ut out now so#If only I could find sone finacial help for it and like someone whos done it before and knows how it all works pft#Its alright. Not the first time ive had to figure stressful legal shit out on my own like this. And certainly wont be the last. Pft#aceofdragons
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telling maffhew about his milestone like he's not gonna be a little sentimental about it as he tries to process it or alternatively man tries to be nonchalant about the passage of time in a sport cruel to the concept of it
"is it a bit more fun reflecting now that you have a stanley cup ring on your shelf?" "yes 😊 yes it does😄😄" colby who keeps his promises and makes sure to always remind maffhew hes a stanley cup champion this saga is so 😭😭😭
philadelphia flyers @ florida panthers pregame interview | 11.9.24 (x)
#matthew tkachuk#florida panthers#2425#girl who realises how old shes getting and not trying to feel existencial dread about it#shes also terribly sentimental for the one-two punch#i know we're getting sentimental and introspective here but also#he took colbys question so seriously like yes! its fun to reflect now that ive won#and then gave the most charming little smile ive seen#girl you should be at a pageant winning 1st#that is heck of a charmer#crying making eye contact with the whole media scrum and smiling at them as he makes the joke thats not a joke#oughhhhhh#girl at her most vulnerable (intrsopective) its certainly something alright
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i'm watching season 8 of dexter for the first time and i'm only on episode 2 but i'm glad they're finally tackling the whole "dexter is a psychopath and psychopaths don't have empathy" thing by acknowledging that this dude does in fact have empathy i hope to god they come to the logical conclusion
#dexter morgan#i am BEGGING vogel to shut up i hate her so much#lady you did this to a kid you never met#and now you're SURPRISED he doesn't match up to the diagnosis the way you expected him to??#'people like you' lady come on#hate how much she's like... not fetishizing necessarily but definitely something#she's certainly not got a healthy relationship with what is at the end of the day a clinical diagnosis#'psychopaths are necessary to society' alright but can you be normal about them??#to be clear i'm not removing any blame from harry he was also a piece of shit for what he did to dexter#but like at least he cared about him as a person and also got him tested and everything#instead of just hearing about him secondhand and deciding hes a write off who's only good for one thing#don't quote me on this i haven't seen the rest of dexter in ages and i'm still not done ep 2
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Hi this is a vent post! Continue scrolling if you'd rather not see that
#Giving time...#Still more time...#Wouldn't want to plague any previews#Maybe another filler. Just for some fun#Is this enough?#It certainly is now#Alright start:#I'm so bored. I am so incredibly; intrinsically; entirely bored. I have been taught the same thing for four years straight#'It's only four years!' that's literally a quarter of my lifetime right there. My formative years are being spent stressed and in a state /#/of constant self-loathing#I was watching a YT video and the phrase 'attention-starved STEM major' came up and I was like. Yea#What am I even working towards? The hope that my version of capitalist hell isn't as bad as everyone else's? I'm just so sick of not /#/having a stable future what with politics and normal working people becoming more and more oppressed#I don't want to work and that's not because I'm lazy. It's because my brain is recognising that there is no reward anymore#I used to have such a little spark in Yr7. I remember having things to say and wanting to share everything I've done#I still do that now; sure I do. I don't enjoy it though#I thought I liked drawing but I'm realising that all I really like is the attention. I COULD draw things I like drawing... but then I /#/ don't get attention which my mind then classifies as zero reward#I'm very tired of doing things for no credit; reward; or validation. This is becoming a theme#Then I wonder what I'm doing wrong. What part of the algorithm am I not hitting. Then I realise that I'm just not marketable in a way#God. I'm seriously breaking rn. It's not even only because of GCSEs#It's just a culmination of doing all these things to be told that I am unworthy of Having as a result. It doesn't matter if I'm smart; my /#/ parents still don't own their house and can't afford to pay for heating most days#Literally what am I doing this for#And then I realise that all of this is ALSO attention-seeking behaviour! I'm my own worst problem; I recognise exactly what's wrong with /#/ myself but the body wants what it wants. And what it wants is validation that I'm not going to get in this life#Hi guys! Maybe don't interact. That could fix me#Wean me off of needing virtual numbers just to feel something. Jesus#I can't even be happy with the things that I make for myself. Because I make nothing for myself anymore#It's just a whole sad existence of an expected 12hr+ of school every day until I get a job I guess. Then it's 12hr+ of job every day until
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Have you ever played/watched a playthrough of the game 12 Minutes? I think you'd like one of the reveals in it.
I did watch a full playthrough a while back. Unfortunately for this recommendation, I thought it was <3 stupid <3 No offense to anyone who likes it, I just thought the design of the loop in the first place was a bit clunky, the characters were sort of eh, and then the reveals themselves were, as I remember and as they played out on whatever stream I was watching, just kind of bad? A poorly put together story surrounded by poorly put together gameplay, but. like. willem dafoe was there 👍
#truly no greater evidence of the fact that you can’t just put sudden incest in your game for your shocking twist and expect me to find it at#all interesting or thought-provoking or even like. god. i don’t know what emotion they wanted the reveal to prompt honestly.#certainly didn’t do anything for me or for whoever i saw streaming it.#like they were just fucking frustrated at how obtuse the game had gotten at that point. which generally in point and clicks is sort of#expected except that the nature of the time loop being so set in stone meant that the feeling of making no progress was made even more#irritating than it would usually be in such a game. anyway my point is they were fucking annoyed and the reveal just made them go :/ uhm.#okay? like not even really disgust or horror or anything at that point just like. yeah alright i guess this is new information i’m being#given. idk what to do with it though.#like i think the ‘incest all along’ sort of twist needs to really hook you with the characters first so that you’re invested in the#relationship before the curtain is pulled back. and invested in a way that depending on the story either makes you sort of have an internal#struggle with your own instinctive disgust against your investment because part of you wants these characters you like to be happy together#anyway while another part of you knows that there’s something disturbing happening here. or like the entire thing should have been written#in such a way that already had you on edge and this final puzzle piece confirms why and you sit back and soak in the horror.#i *think* 12 minutes wanted to be the second one? i saw ‘think’ because it failed at being either and in the end the twist went over like#a lead balloon. just sort of shit. like im the incest guy and even i thought it was shit. anyway.#ask#tw incest
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btw similar to the whole "if you try adderall at a party and it calms you down, get an adhd test" thing, if at some point in your life you try microdosing shrooms with a friend and end up feeling like a functional person for the first time in your life, get tested for depression. like yeah hallucinogens come with elation so youre probably gonna have some "this is the best ive ever felt in my life" vibes regardless, but like. if that in and of itself feels like finally breathing in for the first time in years, thats for sure a sign that something is up with your ability to process serotonin most of the time. feeling better than ever before should be a nice bonus, not a crushing weight off your chest
#fun fact there are currently multiple ongoing studies vis a vis the effectiveness of psilocybin on depression#both on its own and as a companion to ssris#psylocybin targets the 5ht2a serotonin receptors which wikipedia tells me are more numerous in the brains of those with depression#so like. if you spend most of your life feeling like your brain is an aquarium with a leak in it and serotonin is the water and your default#state is 'slightly damp gravel grinding painfully against itself' thats ummm not normal 👍#and on the flipside of that if you have depression that no other med has worked for and know a guy. its 1000% worth it#origibberish#also i say 'wikipedia tells me' as if i just looked it up but that all comes from a long night of spite filled research after i asked my#psychiatrist if we could use the fact that psylocybin worked for me as a basis to like. narrow down which legal antidepressant#might work instead of basically just throwing darts at a board every time#and after several minutes explaining to her that i was not just asking her to prescribe me shrooms but in a legal way she went#'ohhhh yeah no unfortunately theres been no research into that‚ yeah.... sorry......:)'#which. as far as 'lies you come up with on the spot to avoid having to say i dont know' go‚ that is. maybe the worst one to pick#like. 'no‚ thats not an option'? alright fine maybe theres some internal rules or something who knows#'theres no research' though just. immediately tanks any and all credibility 100% even on its own but considering the subject matter?#youre telling me. that humans. the famously curious species that researches fucking Everything. and also Loves playing with drugs. when#trying to figure out how to make drugs that make brains feel good. would not start with the drugs they already knew made brains feel good.#youre telling me that not one (1) singular scientist tried shrooms and went 'oh my god wait. i dont feel like im dying for the first time#ever. holy fuck i need to study this'#complete misplay. absolutely legendary fumble. there were so many ways to fuck it up and somehow you found the worst. congratulations#om the other hand though. really was an excellent setup for the punchline that is the voicemail i have from them saying she'd been fired LOL#they didnt say what for specifically but yknow. based on my own experiences i certainly have theories jebfksbfk#it was annoying in the moment but at the end of the day i have shrooms and she doesnt have the job so. whos laughing now emily KSBFKSBFKDN#this is what i mean though like. rn i feel fine. not on top of the world‚ not like a god#just. fine. i just dont feel like shit. i feel like i can do stuff if i want to‚ or chill peacefully and have it actually be. relaxing.#i dont feel like gravel right now‚ i feel like a person.#and god what a fucking relief it is#really i guess the moral overall is that if at any point you react to trying a new drug the same way an addict craving a hit for days would#then there maybe is something up with your brain chemistry because that means your default state of existence is comparable to that#of withdrawal. a famously shit experience
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