#is buried alive today. so at least I know where that part came from

[running-in-the-dark]

well, I took my new antidepressant for the first time before I went to bed, and I've been asleep all day now. like, I woke up several times - the longest was about an hour - but still, I spent at least 14 hours asleep. don't like that, hopefully that's not gonna be a thing again with this.

also had particularly gruesome nightmares (unfortunately including Leverage/The Librarians characters, not happy about that)

[magicalgoblinz]

One Thing

Summary: You did it. Cazador's dead and now... Astarion is finding himself working through some big emotions. Pairing: Astarion x gn!reader Word Count: 3.5 k Warnings: General angst, eluding to physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. Possibly ooc Astarion. Quickly edited. Song Recommendation: Never Let Me Go + Florence and the Machine Author's Note: First thing I've ever written for Astarion but I get the feeling it won't be the last. I really genuinely just wanted to get this idea out of my brain even if it's a bit strange and not all that amazing haha.

It had been a long day. Perhaps one of the longest you and your party had endured yet, or... at least it felt that way. It wasn't hard on your body like the goblin fight had been, nor had it been arcanely exhaustive like chasing that damned hag was. No, standing in the halls of Cazador's palace brought a different type of exhaustion. Passing through the spaces that your lover had once stalked attempting to go unseen by his master, seeing the sights of the spaces he was kept, smelling the decay, the putridness that no doubt lingered in the meals he was forced to partake in.

Every sight, smell, and sound you had come across weighed heavily on you. Even now as you sat in the plush comfort that was Elfsong Inn, freshly washed, the scents lingered in your nose and left a bitter taste in your mouth.

You pushed around the hastily prepared hash in your bowl, frown bared for everyone to see. Your thoughts were only for him. Every second of silence you could hear his sobs in that moment. The cries pulled from his very core, the kind of cries you could imagine he had dreamed of releasing for so long through every moment of torture he was subjected to. There was no way to imagine all of the atrocities he had suffered, yet somehow being left with nothing made every idea that flitted past your mind's eye so much worse.

You for so long had wished to weep for him. Weep for the time he had lost. Weep for the pain he must have felt in having to stand on the outside wondering if his family and friends ever thought of him again after he passed on. Weep for the crushed hopes for the future he had at one time had.

But what good would your tears do him now?

Cazador was dead.

And more importantly... Astarion was free.

So why did it all still feel so... excruciatingly heavy?

"Ts'ka --- eat and do not play. You need your strength for tomorrow." Lae'zel pushed from her lounging position on the floor.

"Have some heart, Lae'zel. It’s been a very difficult day." Wyll was quick to defend upon seeing the way your expression soured at the thought of eating. "Y/n, had to assist our resident vampire through some very hard things today. Including walking through where he had been kept prisoner. Imagine having to do the same with your lover." He said with a gesture towards Lae'zel.

"If I had a lover they would be able to care for themselves; it would be the first thing I looked for in a mate. A prowess to stay alive in battle like my own is the only thing that is truly attractive." Lae'zel said with a lifted chin.

Wyll's lips parted as if to say something more but began to shake his head, there was no fighting with La'zel. She didn't dig her heels in when it came to opinions, no her entire feet were buried. "Speaking of Astarion, where is he?" He eventually asked, changing the focus of the conversation.

"I believe he went for a bath." Shadowheart interjected, "He said something about not being able to stand having his beauty mired... you know how he is." She said, not lifting her eyes from her bowl with a small wave of her spoon that was held in delicate fingers.

Her saying this seemed to pull your eyes towards the door of the wash room. It had been a while since he left now that you thought about it. Your brows lowered a bit in thought; Astarion deserved his space right now, but you still couldn't help but want to hold his hand and not let it go after everything that had happened today. Maybe he wouldn't want that though, not with what you did today.

That look in his eyes...

Now that he had the time to actually think about what you did, what you talked him into doing; would he feel betrayed?

You had promised him you'd help him get that power he so desired, but when that chance came you changed your mind.

The idea of Astarion no longer trusting you hurt more than imagining him ending whatever it was the two of you had. The worries made your expression sullen even more, looking down at your bowl with a deeper pit growing in your stomach. Did you really want to find out?

Out of the blue, there is a light nudge to your arm. The little touch is enough to pull you back up from your descent into grieving something you hadn't even lost yet. With a glance to your right you find Karlach with a bottle outstretched to you. "I think we could all use a little drink tonight... but especially Astarion." She said warmly, "Perhaps you should see if he wants some?" She continued with a little jerk of her head towards the closed doors. Her tone made it all to clear that your inner turmoil was written out on your face for everyone to see.

A sigh escaped your throat as you debated on whether or not that was a good idea but the way Karlach began to lazily swing the bottle back and forth with her hand triggered something in your mind that made you reach out and take it in one smooth movement.

It couldn't hurt to check in on him?

Could it?

Astarion's head was rested back, hanging over the edge of the bath he sat in. The water had lost the majority of its warmth, and his hand had pruned but he made no movements to get out. Eyes transfixed on the dancing flames in the fireplace at the side of the room. Every twist of orange and lift of a spark made his mind lurch through another memory; they all seemed to be coming back to him now, one by one. His mind shuddered from the thought of a blade pressed into his skin, carving, etching, his skin becoming the canvas for a dastardly design that he wouldn't understand for years.

Funnily, the recollection of pain wasn't what bothered him. It was having to recall his own voice struggling not to escape his lips throughout the entire gut-wrenching experience that made his hand ball into a fist.

With a pop and crackle of the wood Astarion's memories would carry on to something else.

His ears ringing, echoing the silence of that tomb. Gods above that tomb. That year spent in silence. Those months spent starving. The way his hands bled from trying ever so desperately to escape. Over what...? A boy that he couldn't bear to steal the life away from.

Astarion took in a sharp breath as he tried to shake away the thought, as he sat up.

But still the memories continued to bleed through. The faces of all those people he had brought to Cazador, he could see them in his mind's eye. The memories of bedding some of them, cycling through his head in a complete sequence even though they were spread across centuries. A flash of a young human woman who excitedly spun in a brand new red dress that she was ever so excited to show off. The pale blue of a nervous elf man's eyes as they darted around the room the second Astarion approached. Seeing the tattoos and the scars spread across the back of a dwarven sailor who stretched after returning to the mainland after a long voyage. The shine of a coy tiefling woman's smile as she attempted to steal his coin purse from his pocket. So many lives, so many people. At what point did he begin to stop caring? Who was it that he pulled by the wrist back to a dreary room that made him start drifting away any time he had to become intimate? Or was it any of them at all?

His features twisted into an expression of disgust the second his mind started going down that path. There was no amount of Cazador being dead that made those memories better. In a snap his balled up hands lifted to rub his eyes in annoyance. If only Astarion could wash out his eyes and his mind and start anew. If only.

And to think... he had wanted this for so long.

He had dreamt about the day he'd be able to have the cathartic feeling of stabbing Cazador, again, and again, and again. And now that it had come and gone... he wished he could have kept going forever. Fuck, he wished he had. After everything Cazador had done to him, the bastard deserved so much worse than to bleed out on that cold floor. He deserved to suffer just as much as Astarion had, if not more.

Astarion couldn't help but wish that he had ignored everyone and continued the ritual as a perfect slap in the face to Cazador. Continued that ritual, so for the first time in all these years... he'd be safe. Entirely safe. And the loss of that made his chest ache, he was so close to crying all over again.

But then...

Tap, tap, tap

"Astarion," Your voice started from just beyond the doors. "I'm sorry to bother you. I just um... wanted to check in. Karlach thought you might need a drink."

There was you.

Astarion's head lifted from his hands as he took in a deep breath. He tried to shove all those emotions back down again, to put the cork back in the bottle before they could really bleed out into him properly. His gaze lingering on the door, lips unmoving.

"Didn't you hear him? If you complete the ritual, you'll be consumed, Astarion." You had said with a look of sincere terror in your eyes. The look wasn't foreign to him... but perhaps different? People had been scared of him before, oh people had been terrified once they realized what he was. But just how many people had been scared for him? That... he didn't know.

He couldn't remember his exact words in reply now, the tension and adrenaline leaving them in a silent part of his mind but what he did recall was the way you looked at him. It stung. It stung so much more than the little voice in the back of his mind screaming that you were breaking your promise.

You promised to help him ascend. You swore you would help him ascend. You said---

Gods that look. Astarion couldn’t shake it.

The way your eyes seemed to plead with him before you had even opened your mouth. Begging him to reconsider. "I know you think this will set you free, but it won't." Your voice was so gentle, but still so desperate. "This power will trap you, just like it trapped Cazador. Is that really what you want?"

You were right, as much as he hated it. You were always right.

But more than that. As he thought about it now, he recognized something that he hadn't in that moment...

Just outside the door you stood listening, hoping to hear something, anything. Your thumb fumbled with the cork of the bottle nervously. This was a bad idea wasn't it? He needed more time. This was too soon to try and come see him. Gods... what if he really did hate you for what you did. You started to shake your head, "...I'm going to take that as a no. I'll um..." you started lightly, trying not to have your worry show through in your words. "I'm sorry again for interrupting. I'll see you when you're finished, my darling."

Once more. You wanted to call him that one more time before he had a chance to break things off.

"Come in."

Your eyes couldn't help but widen ever so slightly, hand moving to the handle before cautiously pushing the door open and poking your head in. From this angle you could see Astarion's side profile, the good majority of the grime and blood from the day having been washed away, though his clothes that sat off to the side on a bench, were stained a deep red that would take ages to remove, if it ever came out at all. His eyes soon looked your way tiredly. As an instinct you quickly held up the bottle you had brought him, no words coming to follow it, they all seemed to have gone into hiding the second his eyes landed on you.

"Are you planning on bringing the bottle here my sweet, or to just... swing it around like an idiot?" He asked in a long drawn out way, a tone that felt like he was trying to maintain a sense of normalcy for you, but at this point in your adventure together the look in his eyes was more than enough to tell you that he was working through something.

You were entirely taken aback by the gentle name used, a little bit of relief seeping into your chest. "Y-you want me to come in?"

"Was that not what I said?"

Your lips parted, deciding not to speak just yet and instead closing the door behind you. "I'm sorry... I just didn't want to overstep with you, you know… washing and all." You said slowly, acting as if you weren’t both adults – who had on more than occasion – slept together.

Even now, even after seeing him at his lowest today, you were still trying to respect whatever boundaries he had. The thought made Astarion close his eyes and let out a soft laugh, "Darling, you've seen me naked before, it's fine." He assured, "Now...please, for the love of gore and everything soaked in blood, can you bring me that bottle."

There was no reluctance now, carrying yourself to his side with ease. As you approached you couldn't help but notice that his hair was still matted thick with blood in places. All this time he clearly had just been lost in his thoughts as much as you expected really. His hand reached up the second you drew near, taking the bottle from your hands greedily, popping the cork and taking a decidedly long drink. Not minding you at all as you reluctantly found a seat on the bench his clothes were rested upon.

The sight of his nose scrunching a bit from the taste of the wine made an ever so small smile tug at the corner of your mouth. It was hard not to recall him making that same face at the tiefling party not so long ago. Vinegar for wine. Would there be a day when the wine you brought him didn't elicit that involuntary response?

Astarion glanced at you from the corner of his eye, "You'd have made an excellent vampire, you know." He said with an amused little grin, all happy to see the confusion cover your features.

"Why is that?"

"Asking to come in, obviously." He joked loosely,

A small laugh left your lips as your eyes drifted to the floor, "I didn't realize that respecting people's privacy was so vampiresque."

"It's not, we're atrociously nosey by nature and well... it's just another fun hindrance to go against that nature I suppose." Astarion spoke in his normal moseying draw. 

"I see..."

There was a breadth of silence between the two of you. A silence that carried the heaviness of the day's events. You knew it needed to be said, but it didn't make it any easier to consider what the exact words were that needed saying. How to broach it? What if he didn’t want to talk about it at all and you misread the situation entirely? You kept glancing his way hoping to have it all come together in your mind like some sort of epiphany, yet he beat you to it.

"I'm not upset with you, darling. You don't have to keep looking at me like that." Astarion spoke suddenly with all the ease in the world.

"You're not?"

"Well,  perhaps I was a little at first. You did go back on your word, after all." Astarion pointed out, eyes now fixed on the bottle in his hand. “I think anyone might be a bit… sour after something like that.”

There was the guilt again. "Astarion... I'm sorry, I---"

"I don't want your apologies." He cut in sharply, finally turning his gaze to look your way.  Despite what his tone may have indicated, his eyes weren't as stern as they normally appeared when he was upset. No, they were instead ever so full of sadness.  "...I-I'm not angry with you. I swear it. But what I don't understand is why I don't feel any fucking better." Astarion said as his voice suddenly sounded so much more fragile. "I... I killed him. I got the revenge I've dreamed about for two-hundred fucking years. The same revenge I begged for the whole year I was locked in that horrid tomb." He hissed, "I took back my life and yet I... I feel like I didn't do enough."

He was cracking. That much you could see.

"I can't help but wonder if I had completed the ceremony if that would have been enough. Enough to rub it in his Gods damned face that I did it." Astarion admitted sternly, lifting his chin as his eyes stayed focused on the bottle still, "Watch this worm take away everything from him like he took everything from me." He mumbled out, the heat leaving his voice for a brief second as all that he was left with was glassy eyes.

"...I-I would have never had to fear anyone or anything ever again..." Astarion uttered through clenched teeth, tears finally breaking free and running down his cheeks one at a time. "...and now it's gone."

Wordlessly you got to your feet, taking a few steps forward to close the gap between you both, leaning down to wrap your arms around his neck in the most comforting hug you could possibly muster. His hand immediately finds your arm, holding it tight as for the second time in your journey, he begins to cry.

Silence seems to be what Astarion needed from you, wailing into the open air as everything he has stuffed away into that bottle comes pouring back out. No apologies. No consoling words. Just for you to hold him, to give him time. His head rests against yours almost as if to ensure that even now, after everything you both had been through, you couldn't see him cry. Perhaps the idea of you seeing it happen twice in a day was too much for him. Or perhaps there was still a festering feeling of weakness that would bubble up if he let you see him cry.

"Oh my sweet, sweet, Astarion." You mumbled holding him tighter than before, listening as his sobs grew softer over the passing moments. 

Waiting. Listening.

Once his frame had stopped shaking you finally raised your voice once more . "...if I could Astarion, I would take away all of the hurt in an instant... but I can't. And I wish you knew just how much it pains me to not be able to." You speak, parting your lips to continue on but pause as you feel a familiar shudder resonate through your mind. He was peering in, confirming the statement for himself it seemed. "The most I can do is promise you something..." you continued on, pretending like you weren't aware of poking around, you had nothing to hide for one key reason…

Gently you pulled back, running your hand from his neck to his chin to tilt his head up. Eyes looking over his tear stained cheeks and then to meet his own shimmering red eyes. "I promise you that, as long as I'm here you will never have to fear anything... or anyone again." You assured, thumbs brushing over his cheeks as you wipe away his remaining tears. “Because Astarion… I love you and… I will never let you go.”

The look that fills Astarion's eyes is something that you had only seen once before when you decided to hug him for the first time back in the Shadowlands. It was a look that spoke numbers towards just how frightening the unknown was for him. How terrifying it could be to have someone love you so truly and want nothing in return for the first time in his life.

You feel a rush of surprise followed by so overwhelming, your lips curl into the same smile you gave him then as you had reached out to wrap your arms around him to hold him tight…

You know the feeling even if he can’t say it yet.

Love.

Because that was the thing. Astarion had realized before this that you… well, you were the only good thing that he’s ever had. That he’d do just about anything to keep you safe and ensure that no one dare take you away from him. Yet, strangely he never once considered…

That he might mean just that much to you.

End Notes: Thank you so much for reading! I'd really love to start writing for Astarion more so if you have any ideas send them over <3

[the12thnightproject]

Chapter 14:  Slings and Arrows - Mitsunari has a chance to play hero - if he can come up with a plan to help Okatsu avoid an expedition into the silver mine.

Mitsunari x OC; Nobunaga x Mai

Previous Chapter

Logline - In order to protect a political alliance, Katusko and Mitsunari must pretend an engagement. But this “all business” arrangement is threatened by a coup against Nobunaga… and by feelings.

From the Military Notes of Ishida Mitsunari…

Subterfuge - deception by artifice or stratagem in order to conceal, escape, or evade. It is not always possible, or even advisable to directly attack the enemy, especially when your objectives may be achieved with guile and stealth.

Personal comments: Lady Mai told me of research that was performed where she lived that came up with thirty-six questions that would result in a couple falling in love with each other. This good news was followed by the disappointment that Lady Mai cannot remember what these questions are, despite the fact that she had read about the research more than once.

Am somewhat disappointed that Nobunaga chose a consort whose memory is so poor.

However, Lady Mai is kind and lovely, which may make up with this lack of retention. She did, at least remember that the research included a suggestion that the romantic subjects stare into each other’s eyes for one hundred and twenty breathing cycles, and that love may arise from that.

This is very simple! I was able to count to one hundred and twenty before I could walk. I can absolutely try this tactic.

People who say everything looks better in the daylight have never spent a sleepless night. And while I was used to sleepless nights, I was not used to dreams in which a love-bespelled Mitsunari carried off Shohime into a field of poisonous flowers… flowers that grew over the coffin in which Iekane had buried me alive. Nor were those everything-will-be-better in the morning folks forced to spend the day wresting with the epic poem from hell

Rather than diligently translating, my brain was on the Iekane problem, and my eyes kept straying to Mitsunari – purely to make sure he wasn’t going to suddenly declare a potion-induced love for me. His head was bent over his work, so he was obviously in extreme focus mode, going back and forth between a book he was reading and his notes. Every time he moved from book to paper, it looked like he was losing his place. His scrolls kept rolling back up and individual pieces of paper were flying every which way.

“Would you like me to take notes for you?” The offer was out of my mouth before I could think better of it. But it would get me out of poetry hell and distract me from my Iekane worries. “I can write pretty fast and that way you wouldn’t keep losing your place.”

He looked up at me, pushed his glasses to the top of his head, and gave me that beatific smile. I waited for him to say something, but he simply looked into my eyes.

No hardship on my part – he has such pretty eyes and there was always suck a sweetness and a center to him that never failed to calm me and…

Look away!

“Eleven,” Mitsunari said quietly.

“What? Eleven what?” Here we go again. Yesterday it was paper, today it was random numbers? Was Nobunaga was working him too hard? I pulled my thoughts away from my personal dilemma and studied him. He did look a bit frustrated.

“No matter. Yes, Okatsu, that would be very helpful.” He patted the place next to him and I relocated. Picking up the brush and paper, I waited for him to begin. Mitsunari grabbed the book and squinted at in in confusion.

I plucked his glasses from the top of his head and handed them back to him. He gave me a chagrined smile.

“Could happen to everyone. I used to always leave my-.” I stopped, realizing he wouldn’t know what sunglasses are. “Well anyway, it happens to everyone.”

We began again and soon we were deep into work. I didn’t completely understand exactly what I was taking down – but then I never understood poetry either and if this was helping Mitsunari get through his pile of work, then fine by me.

We were fairly deep into it when we were interrupted by the sound of a strangled sob at the entry to the room. Shohime stood there, her eyes full of tears.

Again.

That’s it. I’m stuck in a Groundhog Day scenario where I’m constantly running up against Shohime’s ethereal crying. Seriously. Every time I think she’s gotten past the waterworks, something sets her off again. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be a bother.” And… there it went. The single tear that dripped a silvery trail down her cheek.

If I did that someone would likely compare it to snail goo.

Heaving an inward sigh, because (a) I had said I would help her, and (b) if not us, she might turn again to Lady Yone, and who knew what fatal solution that woman would come up with, I asked, “Is something wrong? Something new wrong?”

“No. I saw you two together and it made me sad that I’ll never find that in my life.” She gazed at Mitsunari with sincere expression and twisted a lock of that shiny hair in her hands. “My fiancé arrived last night, so I imagine my wedding will be soon.”

“There you are!” Mozumi and Iekane appeared behind Shohime. “Lady Yone is looking for you. The seamstresses are here to work on your wedding outfit.”

An expression of frustration flashed across Shohime’s face before it was wiped free and replaced by that ‘resting perfection face’ I was getting used to seeing. She turned to her father and fiancé, bowed low, murmured a soft, “Of course,” then gracefully glided away. Hm. Something about that first look suggested that she might not be as much of a Sengoku Barbie that I’d thought. I filed that away to think about later and performed the same expression wipe for myself before facing Mozumi and Iekane.

Once his daughter had disappeared, Mozumi turned to us. “A rare prize, isn’t she?”

Even Mitsunari knew this was a ‘smile and nod’ situation. We smiled. We nodded. Mozumi then turned and brought Iekane forward and presented him to us, introducing Mitsunari as “Toyotomi Hideyoshi’s most trusted vassal, and his fiancée Oda Okatsu.”

Iekane bowed to us, then repeated my name in somewhat disbelieving tones. “O… Katsu?” He paused, tilted his head slightly, and pursed his lips. “Interesting. You remind me of someone I once knew. But… well, it will come to me, I am certain.” It was said so smoothly and innocently that I was the only one who could hear the threat in that. I’m sure though, if I called him on it, he would say that he was only teasing me.

Smile and nod. Smile and nod. I did both as blandly as possible along with a polite bow that was not quite as low as it ought to have been, given that he was now a daimyo in his own right. “I am pleased to make your acquaintance. Shohime is a lovely girl and deserves all the best in a husband.”

Translation? Not you.

Mozumi inclined his head toward Iekane. “Lord Iekane’s merchant ships and our silver are a perfect combination. I’m very happy Shohime was able to attract such a conveniently placed marriage.”

Way to use your kid as a bargaining chip. I mean, yes, political marriages were the rule, not the exception – even Nobunaga’s relationship with Mai would likely need the Emperor’s stamp of approval prior to marriage - but beyond the whole Iekane thing, I understood why Shohime seemed so conflicted about it. This wasn’t so convenient for her… or for Nobunaga, as he was interested in the silver as well. Interested enough to ally with Iekane too? Is that what Iekane wanted? If it was, it would explain why he just subtly threatened me.

Into the awkward silence, Mitsunari finally spoke. “Then we are happy as well for Shohime and Inane.”

Oh God. He didn’t. I choked off a laugh while Iekane glared at Mitsunari.

Mitsunari looked from Iekane to Mozumi in confusion. “Insane?” He bowed. “My apologies. I am not good with names.”

“He’s really not.” I tried to be helpful, even though in my head, from now on, ‘Iekane’ would likely be translated to ‘Inane’. “His cat is called kitty for that very reason.”

“Ah.” Iekane apparently decided not to make an issue out of it, but instead go for another personal shot at me. “Okatsu, then you must be used to answering to more than one name.”

In his current role as jolly lord of the manor Mozumi placed a hearty hand on Iekane’s shoulder. “This afternoon, we’re all going to tour my mining operation. Nobunaga has expressed great interest in it. I imagine the two of you should enjoy getting out of this archive room as well and enjoy the outing.”

INTO the silver mines. That would be a giant nope from me. But would Mitsunari understand what that would mean for my claustrophobia?

“Although I imagine that would be incredibly fascinating,” Mitsunari gestured to the pile of books and papers, “I must refuse. There is far too much work for me to do here, and Lady Okatsu is too much help to me for me to let her go. I do know what I would do without her.”

“Nonsense. I’m certain Nobunaga will allow you an afternoon off. I will talk with Hideyoshi and make arrangements.” Mozumi and Iekane bowed and took themselves off.

Into the silver mines.

Into the silver mines with Iekane.

FML.

“Do not worry, Lady Okatsu.” Mitsunari gently patted my arm. “I will figure out a strategy to get you out of this.”

I must have looked skeptical, or maybe my worry about going underground (I figured the mines would be underground… or in a tunnel… or ugh! I couldn’t even follow that trail of thought into the dark) had overwhelmed me, because Mitsunari reassured me again. “I promise I will formulate a strategy to prevent you from having to go into the silver mine.”

I took a deep breath. And then another. I believed in him.

“Perhaps we could find a mild poison, one that would incapacitate you for a day.” He cocked his head to take in what had to have been an incredulous look on my face. “That was a joke. Did I not tell it correctly?”

“You did not.” But the utter #jokefail of it all was charming in its own… twisted… way, and that was enough to make me smile.

“I will work on that.” He nodded to himself.

I was glad Mitsunari had my back. Even though he was a bit clumsy and absentminded, the fact that he wanted to help me, that I wasn’t alone in this, made me feel… well. I wasn’t sure how I felt, but I was glad he wanted to help. “Thank you.”

And… he was doing that staring thing again. “Okatsu, could you hold very still?”

“What is it? Another spider?” I held still, waiting to feel those skittering feet. But he simply put his fingers to his lips and simply looked at me. I waved my hand in front of his face. “Do you need to take another break?”

He sighed. “Three.”

Late morning came and went without any solution. Mitsunari was soon borne off by Hideyoshi for some sort of man conference to which I was not invited. Again, at loose ends, I did the one thing I could do to make me feel less powerless: I took myself and my bow and arrows out to the archery practice field next to the castle. If I could relax and focus under these circumstances, then anything was possible. At the same time, losing myself in the, well, zen of my practice would help me relax for a while.

Whump.

(Center target).

Whump.

(Center target).

My power of blocking out stress were good, but not enough to block out the whisper of kimono silk and soft footsteps approaching me from behind. I caught the scent of that cloying incense that floated along with Lady Yone. Turning to her, I bowed.

She returned the gesture. “You are quite skilled at that.”

Already prepared with a response should anyone question my abilities, I said, “As a young girl, I was enthralled by the legends of Tomoe Gozen.”

“Ah. She is a better role model than Ono no Komachi.” That comment definitely belied a familiarity with Mozume’s literary tastes. Komachi had written erotic poems, and now, hundreds of years after her death, her love life had risen to legendary status.

Did Lady Yone bring her up for any particular reason? Or was she simply making conversation? “Maybe. I have never devoted much energy to criticizing what a woman must do to survive.”

“Or thrive, if we are still talking about Komachi.” She took hold of one corner of her kimono and performed a few graceful dance steps.

I risked turned my back on her long enough to speedily hit all the target bags. “As did Tomoe Gozen.” Time to figure out what the hell she wanted. “Lady Yone did you come out here to debate philosophy?”

She laughed – delicately, but the sound was like nails on a chalkboard. “Such a suspicious mind you have, Lady Okatsu. I simply came out for a stroll and when I saw you, I decided to make idle conversation.”

Not taking the bait. Aki taught me that listening and waiting were useful tools in the interrogator arsenal. The question was… was she interrogating me, or I her? “It is a lovely day for a stroll.”

Make of that what you will, Lady possibly-tried-to-kill-your-stepdaughter.

Whump.

(Center target).

Whump.

(Center target).

“Indeed. I am giving Shohime and her fiancé a moment of privacy so they can get to know one another.” She took out a fan and fluttered it in front of her face. “My darling is so worried about her pending marriage, but simply a few moments in Lord Iekane’s company will go far to allay her fears.”

Yeah. Good luck with that. “He seems pleasant.” Which is true. He seems that way. Reality may be different. “Shohime …seems resistant.”

“Not everyone is as lucky as you and Mitsunari.” She reached over and took one of my arrows out of my quiver. “I presume that since you are a reader, you are familiar with western mythologies, such as that of the Greeks?”

“Somewhat.” Though my rudimentary high school basics, supplemented by Marvel Comics probably would do as well as what she would have been able to consume in this era.

“Their love God, Eros, had only to shoot a man or woman with an arrow to generate love.” She plucked the string on my bow and my nerves jangled accordingly. “But love can grow slowly as it did between myself and Lord Mozumi, and it will between Shohime and Iekane.”

“Helped along by those purple flowers?” I gestured to the hills above the castle, where the torikabuto could be seen growing in their poisonous little clusters.

Lady Yone shook her head. “Oh, not those. They are poisonous.”

I punted the concept of subtlety into oblivion. “Why did you tell Shohime they could be brewed into a love potion?”

Finally, Lady Yone looked appalled. “What? No! Oh no! I told her to gather sakura blossoms and bathe in them. She must have gotten confused!” She put her hands to her cheeks. “What have I done?”

“One of Nobunaga’s servants caught her in time.” Probably best not to mention which one. “We told her not to pick any more.” Whether or not her acorn sized brain would remember that was another issue altogether.

“Oh, thank you.” Lady Yone heaved a sigh of relief. “I would feel simply terrible if my words inadvertently caused Shohime’s death.”

Well. She sounded sincere. But Iekane’s sincerity last night was causing me to second guess everything. Was I simply too suspicious? “It would be a terrible tragedy… she’s so young.”

“She’s always been such a simple, sweet child. Mozumi’s preferred companions find her to be a nearly irresistible temptation, and the poor girl has no idea.” Again, that theatrical hand to her heart. “I thought it better to have her safely married to a young man like Lord Iekane who can care for her.”

Aaaand we’d circled back to Iekane. I waited. Maybe this time Lady Yone would come out and say what she wanted to say. Sooner or later the shoe (or the spider encrusted sandal) would fall.

“Last night, when I found you wandering in the hall, you appeared to have come from Lord Iekane’s room.” Yup. There it is.

I’d wondered if she had noted that. “He heard me passing by and mistook me for a maid.” More or less true, in fact.

“Interesting. He said much the same but noted that you seemed confused.” She tilted her head at me, but her attitude was basically, ‘citizen viewing a crazy person.’

That’s how Iekane was playing it – any accusations I made toward him and he’d claim I was crazy. My fingers itched to grab my dagger and have it out with him, but that would just play into his script. “If someone got you mixed up with a maid, would you not also feel confused at first? Once we sorted things out, he was apologetic.”

“Well, one would hope that in the future your behavior will not encourage that sort of confusion.” She smiled at me again, but this was more of the bared teeth threat that had been simmering throughout our entire conversation. After a polite (barely) bow, she drifted away.

Ugh. I really hoped that Mitsunari had come up with a plan to get me out of an afternoon with all of these people.

#Spoiler. Mitsunari did not get me out of it.

And so that afternoon found me and the rest of Nobunaga’s retinue, as well as Mozumi, Iekane, and Shohime riding the few kilometers over to the Kamioka mining operation. “Do not worry.” Mitsunari edged his horse closer to mine and spoke softly into my ear. “I have a plan.”

In such a crowd, I couldn’t question what Mitsunari planned, I could only hope he executed it soon. But he didn’t act when we stabled our horses, or when we entered the refinery area where one of Mozumi’s mine operators explained the smelting process.  I might possibly have been more interested in that if the lesson was to be followed by either a quiz or a snack, rather than a hike down underneath the mountain… and ugh it was really warm in the room. If Mitsunari couldn’t rescue me soon, I was likely to throw up.

Which might get me out of going underneath, come to think about it. Hm, maybe I should not have been so quick to dismiss Mitsunari’s poisoning idea.

Hideyoshi tapped me on the arm and I jumped and yanked my arm away. Belatedly, I realized that he had been talking at me.

He frowned. It was his macro expression when forced to communicate with me, I’d learned, but today’s Hideyoshi did seem a little more gentle. “Okatsu, you seem distracted. If you aren’t careful, you’re going to knock over one of those bins.”

“I’m sorry. It’s… the heat.” I fanned myself with my hand, until he gave me that, ‘you forgot your fan again’ look. (Oops, so I had). “I’m sorry.” I apologized again, although I honestly had lost track of what I was apologizing for.

Hideyoshi tilted his head toward Mitsunari. “I imagine you’d be safer if you stick with your fiancé.”

Translation – Mitsunari needs protection from the Princess again. I looked over. Shohime had broken away from her stepmonster and Iekane (not that I blamed her) and was edging toward Mitsunari. He was listening with fascination to the man who was explaining how the silver was separated from the rock, using some kind of lead smelting method that had been developed in Korea. I imagined that Mitsunari would somehow figure out a way to make that information personally useful. Even though he appeared to be absorbed in this new information, he still smiled at me when I joined him.

Blocking Shohime’s access, I took his arm – and right in time too, as Iekane barreled over to retrieve his prize. The last thing I wanted was for Iekane to turn his poisonous attention to Mitsunari.

“Shohime, you father says they’re ready to take us inside.” Iekane gestured to where Mozumi stood impatiently with Nobunaga and the mine foreman. “Mitsunari, Okatsu, are you looking forward to a nice long trek underneath the mountain?”

Did he know? Was Iekane even aware of what his maybe/maybe not attempt on my life had done to me? His expression was open, eager, smiling… but it always had been. Besides, how could he know? I had not been claustrophobic when we had last seen each other. Maybe he was simply picking up my mood and teasing me for the sake of generalized torture.

“I simply cannot wait,” I said, making sure my expression mirrored his.

We picked our way along a steep rocky path over to the mine entrance. I took a deep breath. Maybe it wouldn’t be too bad.

I can do this.

I can do this.

I can do this.

Miners went into that thing every day, and they came out again, no problem and –

Mitsunari suddenly turned his ankle on a stone, and stumbled, falling into me, knocking us both to the ground. He managed to brace himself so that he didn’t land literally ON me, but I was startled enough about the whole thing to let out an ‘euf’ when I landed.

“Okatsu!” Did I harm you?” His voice was louder than normal, and if everyone hadn’t already turned to look at us before, they were sure looking now.

Well, I probably would have an interesting bruise on my rear, but it hadn’t hurt any worse than when I fell in the earthquake at the beginning of sum- wait. What earthquake? In a moment of vertigo, I had a vision of a stable and a memory of knocking someone out of the way of a falling beam. But …That had never happened. I rubbed my eyes, trying to clear the vision away. “I think I’m fi-”

“Don’t move!” Mai rushed over and examined me as if she were a professional nurse. “I don’t like the look of your ankle!”

My what? There was nothing wrong with my ank- oh. I slanted a glance at Mitsunari, who hovered over me in concern. Ah ha. This was his plan to get me out of going into the cave. “I am very sorry, Lady Okatsu, I hope it is not broken.”

Mai’s hiss of concern was so over-the-top it would need a parachute on its way back down. “It could be. I’ve never seen such a bruise.” She twisted her hands together and bit her lip, looking like she was about to break into sobs.

Looked like I needed to reign in Meryl Streep and Daniel Day-Lewis. “I tweaked it a bit. I’m sure if I stay out here and rest it for a little while, I will be fine.” I threw in a brave little wince of pain. “A day. I’ll be fine in a day.”

If I left this solely up to Mitsunari and Mai, they’d have me wheelchair bound for the rest of my life. And I didn’t think wheelchairs had been invented yet. I reached for Mitsunari’s arm. “If you could help me stand?”

Mitsunari helped me to my feet, and I stood there, keeping all my weight on my other foot. My left foot. Note to self. The right foot is the one that is injured. Then a worried-looking Hideyoshi made his way over and reached toward my foot. “Are you in a lot of pain, Okatsu?”

I made a show of wincing and pulling away from his reach, as if fearing the pain of touch.

“Don’t jar her!” Mai screeched.

Then, the next thing I knew, Mitsunari had picked me up in his arms. “I’ll take her back to Genba castle. There’s no need for anyone else to change their plans.”

“Yes, yes, do go back.” Mozumi looked impatient to get on with showing off his operation to Nobunaga.

Without waiting for anyone else to respond, Mitsunari carried me away.

“Keep your foot elevated,” Mai yelled after me.

I waited until we were well out of earshot of the others. “Thank you. That was a clever plan.”

“Yes. I am happy that Mai agreed to help.” For as slight as Mitsunari looked, he seemed remarkably strong, and wasn’t out of breath at all.

For a brief horrified moment though, I felt the urge to snuggle (!) against him. Instead, I peeped over his shoulder - we were long out of sight of the mine. “It’s probably safe to put me down now.”

“We’re almost to where we stabled the horses. I don’t want anyone there to report that you were walking.” He seemed perfectly content to carry me, and there was a faint smile on his face – although knowing him, he was probably doing some kind of studying in his head – so I settled back into his arms and turned my face toward the sun.

One thing I really appreciated about Mitsunari was his comfort with silence. He didn’t seem to feel a need to fill a quiet moment with useless chatter… he was peaceful. After running into Iekane last night, my brain had been chewing on that conversation over and over. I didn’t want to think any more. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensation of sun on my face and the strength of Mitsunari’s arms as he carried me away from the mountain. “Are you comfortable?”

“Mm hm.” So comfortable I wasn’t capable of forming words.

“Good.” His words were almost a sigh in my ear. “Perhaps you and I should run off.”

@lorei-writes @bestbryn @katriniac @lyds323 @briars7

[totsworks]

GUYS GUYS GUYS!!!! NINJAGO AU I THOUGHT OF WHEN I WAS DRAWING PIXANE:3!!!

Its called “the ninjago disrespect group” which places after the ninjas die

Welp mostly. Zane became too rusty and his system too overloaded that he shut himself while lloyd stayed alive

Since lloyd was tired of living he offed himself yet unfortunately his grandpa wanted to stick his nose in that again and took lloyd’s soul

Talking to lloyd he was asking him why he didn’t want to continue living? Lloyd told him “your world and place fucking sucks and you suck too”/jk but seriously he told him how he didn’t want to live where the purpose he was made for was finished. Living aimless was tiring which made the fsm hum and told him “your life have a lesson you need to follow lloyd. Dont be impatient” which made lloyd wake up. He looked at the floor now anger building up slowly inside him since even his death have to be controlled as well and have to do another life discovery shit soo he was tired-

-but when he wanted to lay down in his apartment (i made him live a depressed life. Isolated and only on social media) but he stumbled upon a meme which says “when your father hates you so much that you work with fatherless people as well” and his photo in some stupid cgi thingy which made him look at the website only to be shocked since that website talk about joke/dumb legends and there was a category called “the ninjas”

Looking at it he was crashed at how much activity was there. Sure not everyone thinks that way but the fact that its someones idea and someone made this despite the ninjas dying to save them send lloyd to the edge-

-remembering all the unreasonable mistreatment. He decided he had enough

No more playing angel. No more caring for rules. And definitely no more caring for others safety being when they didn’t care about his

He finally opened his crusty door and walked out of that shitty apartment now walking to the grief his friends were buried in. What fsm didnt know that giving lloyd an element that resembles life would be a bad idea. Now after stealing some guts and like healthy parts and fixing the ninja’s bodies he used his power to wake them up(still thinking of this part) and made them rest in his apartment until they feel well(and greenflame happening)

But accidentally kai was worried when lloyd was late making him walking on (unstable) his new legs looking around which caught attention

After some weeks lloyd got an invitation from the ninjago news to meet which made him shocked and confused yet he agreed because he wanted to see how the citizens would react to a new approach of him-

-and after dressing nicely to at least get some positive comments he finally came(after giving smoochies to kai☝️)but the meet up was because they news were shocked about lloyd. The good lloyd! The sweetheart innocent souled lloyd! Bringing back dead

The way they asked him about that and the way they talked made it seem like some fanfic. Not serious. Not taking him seriously as ever

Looking at this lloyd got tired and took the plate on the table infront of him and smashed it then lunged at the news reporter and started slashing him. The news cut due to the quote-on-quote “poor signal” yet when it came back lloyd was holding the mic glaring at the camera or the viewers as he said “you think this is a joke right? A silly thing to be taken? The green ninja bringing his friends to life? What a story! Let me tell you something. You always wished me to be on the light to be your joke or talk right? To be the gossip or some kimd of those belittling conversations right? Well!” And lift his hands smiling now a “welcoming” smile “here i am!! But..im not her to be your fun today. I used to be but..i dont think you will find this funny. This is the ninjago disrespect group news for today. Have the worse night of yours lets see how you can keep up with your own actions” and then the story will be this ‘show,s’ episodes while lloyd leads most of the people who helped ninjago yet never received their own thanking and stuff like that!

TRAAAA!! Sooo?? Thoughts and opinions are always appreciated:3

[fantasies-fairytales-n-fics]

Code Blue Ch. 37- Little Boy Blue

Summary: A Lee and Josie chapter full of emotional revelations and a sweet love reunion. Craig plays hardball with a nemesis. Jo has another nightmare that shakes her entire soul. Lee comforts her and makes a promise.

*Warnings* Strong language, angst, supernatural occurrences, smut, mentions of murder plots and threats, mild violence

Stories Stories Stories Masterlist

Chapter characters: Lee, Josie, Craig, Ethan

Salem, Massachusetts

March 8, 2023

"Jason's what? I'm sorry, did you just say...hes' alive??" Lee asked with a raised brow and a tilted head as he peered down at your very serious and nervous face.

You were betraying your brother by telling his secret, but never again would you keep things from Lee, not even this and soon, you would also tell him about Jacob. Lee deserved to know that the woman he loves is also his son's aunt.

"Believe me, I know how insane this sounds but..."

"Jo...that's...not even possible...I...I saw him, treated him...h..how??"

"I saw him too...yesterday afternoon at my apartment, after I saw you. Well, he was at my landlord's apartment and I certainly wasn't supposed to see him. I came up the stairs and there he was in the hallway with Craig, both as shocked as I was. Let's go downstairs and get that wine. There's so much more I need to tell you."

You and Lee sat at the kitchen table for over an hour, sharing a newly opened bottle of red wine as you told him all you knew about Jason's resurrection and Elizabeth being Craig's ex wife, saving for the last, the part about your brother being Jacob's father.

"So then...who's in his grave?? I mean, there was a man in the ER that I tried to save Jo, believed to be Jason so who in the hell was it? Your mom, she identified him. She was certain it was Jason. She pointed out his necklace. God, this is mind blowing because you know what?...now it makes sense. He was unidentifiable. The man's head trauma was quite severe, his jaw crushed, including his teeth, probably from a beam falling on him I would suspect so a dental comparison was not possible and he was severely burned, including his hands, almost to a crisp so...no fingerprints. His DNA was not on file as well. Wow...it was all set up."

"Yeah...I don't know who we buried. The conversation didn't get to that but I'm going to guess it was either some innocent man that was just there that day having his lunch and is probably now considered missing, which is so unsettling. What if he had a family? I can't even imagine what they're going through if he did. This all pisses me off so bad that Jason did this and damn the consequences and whomever gets hurt all so he can get his revenge. I get it, I do, about that but he could have handled it without dying per se."

"I'm so sorry baby, that he did this to your and your mom. Does she know?"

"Oh believe me, if she knew, I would have heard about it by now. I wasn't even supposed to tell you, but there's no way I could, or would keep this from you, especially after everything we have been through."

"Thank you sweetheart. It means everything to me that you trust me with something so huge like that. And Elizabeth, I can't even. She's like a fucking plague. I remember telling you about how she got married and had a kid with the guy, but I never knew his name nor met him. I feel for this Craig a bit, considering he is possibly in the same boat with me, not knowing if his child is his child and the thought of her being Ethan's...I can't even...but at least he has an idea, where is I have no clue who Jacob's biological father is."

There it was. The moment you would have to break his heart all over again and it was making you sick to your stomach because Lee had been through so much already, especially today. What would this do to him? After everything, could you possibly lose him because it might just be too weird and too much to handle about you being Jacob's aunt? It was a risk you had to take so Lee could have some sort of peace over it all, although peace would be the last thing he was going to feel at first.

"Lee...I..."

You froze and Lee could see there was something you were dreading to tell him.

"Hey, baby girl...what is it? You know you can tell me anything." he sweetly said and reached over to lay his hand upon yours.

"I know." you smiled as tears began to well up in your fretful eyes. "It's just that...what I have to tell you, I...don't even know how to say it."

"Well, I find the simplest way to say something is to just say it. Just throw it all out there. Maybe try that, because...you're kinda scaring me here a little."

"I'm so sorry. Ok...I umm...I...I know who...Jacob's father is." you stuttered out and cringed while doing so.

Lee's hand slowly slid off of yours as he sat back and straight up in his chair, his eyes widened with instant grief.

"You...you know who? That...that means...it's actually true?"

"I...yes. I'm so sorry, I didn't want to have to tell you this. I..found out yesterday. Jason told me and.."

"Wait..Jason told you?? How would he even know?"

You began to choke up as you lightly gulped before continuing.

"He umm...Lee...it's...he knows because...it's...him."

Lee's entire body noticeably stiffened and you swore he stopped breathing for a moment as he gazed at you like a deer in the headlights.

"That...that can't be...I mean...how? Wait...what????"

"Elizabeth....she knew Jason, probably because of Ethan, I don't know really. She was in love with him I guess and well, Jason loved Britt as you know, so one night, out of her jealousy and drunkeness, Elizabeth told him the truth before Jacob died. From what I understand, she let Jason spend time with Jacob from time to time but Jason didn't want him to be a part of his life, only to protect him from the life he lived and then...when Jason ended up choosing Britt, Elizabeth snapped and Jason feels, just as you do, that....Jacob's death was not an accident. Jason thinks she did it to get back at him and he...he even thinks she had something to do with his so called death and...."

Your words were cut short by Lee abruptly shoving his chair back to stand and he just stood there, staring with gaping eyes darting around as his breaths accelerated.

"Jesus christ....that... that means...you....you are his.....THAT'S what he meant..he knew and was trying to tell me." Lee whispered loudly as he walked off into the other room.

"Lee, wait...that's what WHO meant?? And knew what??" you frantically asked as you hurried after him.

"Yesterday...." he gasped and paced about. "God, you're going to think I am fucking nuts. It..it was at the same time, the same time Jo, that you found out. I..I saw him...I saw Jacob..."

Lee paused as he panted, staring at you with desperation for you to believe him.

"Ok, ok baby, slow down and breathe. I believe you and would never think you're nuts. How could I not believe you after all the other things you have witnessed...what I even witnessed the day the windows blew out. Tell me what happened. Take your time. It's ok. I promise. Do you trust me?"

"Yes, of course...I...I was going to tell you...but..everything else happened. After I left you at Gordon's work, I decided not to wait for him to get back and I...I went to the house...I needed to stay busy and try to get more of Jacob's things. I..I just keep putting it off ya know....and...anyways." he said as he shook his head in frustration. "I...I was packing some of his tuff in a box, some books and...and his favorite stuffed animal, a monkey...he loved monkeys and..I always called him monkey cause he liked to jump in the bed in the mornings and wake me up and fuck I'm rambling."

Lee rubbed his hands down his face and sucked in a deep breath.

"Hey, look at me, look at me. It's ok. You can ramble all you want. I'm listening. I'm right here. Focus on me ok?" you assured him and took his hand.

Lee's eyelids fluttered a bit as he tried to gather his scattered thoughts and then he softly nodded and gulped before continuing.

He began to tell you as the look on his face told you he was reliving it in his mind.

"As I was packing, I..I had the music on...the song I put in your gift...time in a bottle...it was playing and I was thinking about you and...just as I was putting his monkey in the box....I felt like someone was there and when I looked up...he was there Jo. Jacob was standing right beside me and he pulled the box down and got out his toy airplane, the began running all around the house, holding it in the air like it was flying, just like he always used to do. I...I couldn't even believe my own eyes. I thought I was having some kind of break from reality due to all my stress. Especially when....when he ran through a doorway and then all of a sudden he was coming down the stairs on the opposite side of the house. I then...I...tried to touch him as he sat and played with the plane and...it shocked me...it shocked me Jo, like...it knocked me back on my ass. And then...he just looked at me and said...'where's mommy.' And then, he was just gone. "

(Enjoy the small clip below of that scene Lee is remembering. I added "Time in a Bottle" to it)

"After that, I went and took a long hot shower to wake up. I hadn't been sleeping well and literally thought I was hallucinating. So it was either the shower or I was going to drink myself to death. I...I wanted to call you but...I couldn't tell you something like that over the phone when I couldn't even understand what happened to even be able to try. Anyways...after my shower, I got dressed and I went into Jacob's room, looking at all of his things that I left just as he had left it. I couldn't bring myself to continue packing after what I believed I saw, because why? Why was he there? The way he took his toy out of that box, it was like he didn't want me to pack his things or maybe he just didn't understand what I was doing with them. So instead, I found myself straightening his room up, dusting off the bed and stuff, and then...he was there again. Right by his bed. Again, he said 'when's mommy coming back.' and then he got distracted by his tent fort that he and I built out of chairs and sheets and he ran into it."

"His smile...Jo it was so real. He even had the little chip in his front tooth from when he tripped over that same divot in the backyard that you tripped over. I...I just kept staring at him ya know? His baby blues sucking me right in. I used to also call him little boy blue, you know, the nursery rhyme? I would read it to him from one of his books that had a collection of all the old stories. You know, I don't see one ounce of Liz in him, strangely, I never did and his blue eyes, I thought he got them from me....that is until I was told he wasn't mine. I would look at him more often after that, wondering if he looked more like his father because I couldn't see myself in him anymore. Crazy to think I ever did when his blue eyes are of Jason's."

"He's your son, no matter what Lee. I mean, look, he comes to see you, not Jason. He sees you as his father and you are and always will be. He don't even go to Elizabeth, just you. Well, unless he really did cut her seatbelt because he knows what she did."

"But then why was he asking for her like he missed her?"

"I...I don't know baby, I wish I had all the answers. So, him asking for her, is that what you were talking about? That you knew what he meant and that he knows?"

"No...no...I mean, I thought that's what he meant then, until now....I...I crawled into his fort to see if he was still there...and he was, playing with some toys."

Lee's emotions were building as he closed his welled eyes and had to place his hand horizontally over his mouth.

Immediately, you pulled him down to you and held him so tight, laying your cheek against his. His arms reciprocated so fast and he held you even tighter.

"Heyy my beautiful sweet guy. You can take a break. There's no rush. I am not going anywhere, I promise. You can even stop completely if you want to."

His whimpered warm breath grazed your ear. "No...I...I need to tell you this...now. Jacob...he wants me to...You'll understand why in a minute."

You kissed his lips softly, then his forehead as you stroked his hair before he released you and resumed his supernatural story, although his hand still clung to yours.

"I watched him for a few moments while he played with his dinosaur figure and wooden train engine that I carved him as a birthday gift when he turned 4. And then I asked him if he knew why he was here. He said because he lived there as he continued playing."

"I then asked him if there was something he wanted or needed. He said...he said..."

Lee choked up and sighed heavily. "He said it was me that needed something before he rode the train back to his papa and mama. I asked him what he believed I needed and he said....you. He said you make me happy and him happy and then he randomly asked again about Liz, when's mommy coming back? I remember smiling at his words about you, but at that time, I thought you may never come back to me so I told him, I'm sorry monkey but I think it will just be me and you for awhile buddy."

"He said...'No. Mommy will come back. She's just afraid.' Can you believe a 5 year old little boy said something so grown up?" Lee aid as he lightly chuckled. "So...I told him that mommy did some not so nice things and wouldn't be coming back. I didn't know how else to explain it to him. I mean, I'm seeing a fucking ghost Jo. My son, he's a ghost. How do I make him understand, ya know? About what Liz really was and still is. But the thing is, that I realize now...he wasn't talking about her. He then said 'yes she will. The nice lady who loves you. She's family.' And then... he just... looked at me....and I just looked at him in confusion...and then, he was gone again."

"My god Jo, he was talking about YOU. I thought at first that when he said family, that he meant that he saw you in that way, and I believe that to be true but now I also know it was because you ARE family. He knew, he knows you are his aunt but...I think he sees you as a mother figure, even when he didn't even know you in life. He came to me at the same time you were finding all that out...God, this is all so damn crazy that I can't even wrap my head around it! I mean, what are the odds that you and I were brought together??? And you finding the bracelet I lost that he gave to me and you saving my fucking life when I had given up all hope. It was him, it was ALL him. That's why he is here Jo. For us. He wants us to be together. Look how that song came on in the kitchen that night we danced and almost kissed. The fucking radio was not even plugged in! And the windows blowing out in Liz's presence as we argued...He knows what she did and my god, that evil sadistic bitch fucking knew all along that Jacob was Jason's...and I...can't even speak about her right now because I want to tear her head off.... and...ALL that wasted time, if you and I had only met sooner...we all could have been a family Jo, you, me and Jacob and he would possibly still be alive because I would have left Liz in a heartbeat for you and we could have taken him from her. You could have been his real mother. You could have had the child you couldn't have...and it would have been with me and....and...."

Lee was so worked up at this point that he became very distressed.

"Now that I've seen him, I'm afraid if I leave that house with his things and don't go back, I'm never going to see him again!"

He then began to heavily sob and now you were too. You reclaimed him in another embrace and you just held him and gently rocked him, as if you were dancing again. Now you knew. Your fears had been chased away. Lee was not going to leave you and he had confirmed that by his wishes that you all could have been a family. God how you wanted that with him. He was your forever, til death shall you both part.

"Lee, I am soooo sorry for what I have put you through today when you were holding all of that inside. God, this hurts so much that you're hurting like this. You're right though. I believe he is here for us. He is team JoLee." you laughed and sniffled as you gently wiped his tears from his broken eyes. I remember that nursery rhyme very well. i don't know if this will make you feel any better or worse but I feel it's another sign. My aunt Olivia, my mom's youngest sister who I would call Olive because I couldn't say her name right, used to watch us kids when we were little while mom and dad worked and she read that to Jason and even called him that too."

Lee actually smiled as he was now starting to relax, for you were truly the only one that could keep him grounded.

"It does make me feel better because it's all part of our story, our destiny, Jacob's too. You...you always make me feel better. No matter what I am going through, you make it all go away with your witchy magic spells that I have helplessly fallen under. Team JoLee huh? I love it...I love you...so fucking much. If you only knew."

"I do know." you softly squeaked as you tenderly traced his bottom lip with your thumb.

"The first time....ever I kissed your mouth..." Lee softly sang in a whisper and then brought his lips to yours.

It was done. The desire, the longing and out of this world love for each other eliminated everything else as your lips pushed firmly back into his. Lee's arms locked around your back and he he lifted your feet from the ground, holding you against him as he trailed butterfly kisses down your neck as you kicked your boots free. Once they dropped, Lee took one hand and grabbed behind your thigh, pulling your leg up his side as he backed you through the air and against the wall. Your other leg then followed suit and clasped with your other one behind his back in which he groaned intensely as he instantly grinded his solid length over your entrance that dampened your thin leggings.

Your fingers found his shirt buttons and undid them in a swift perfect sequence until his bare sculpted chest was exposed to your wanting hands. You gazed at his beauty as your palms ran down his pecks and over his rippled abs that sucked in to your touch followed by his deep gasp of yearning. His lips came back to yours, your tongues making love as you glided his shirt down his arms, letting it flow to the floor. Your shirt was next and then your bra. A heavy sigh released his lips as they found your aroused nipple while his hand graced your other breast with a soft caressing motion of his thumb.

You then unhooked your legs and stood up for him to yank your pants down and clean off. He buried his face into your stomach, kissing every inch, working his way down until you felt his tongue delve between your folds with a long slow lick from bottom to top, sending a sonic boom through your core as he grazed over your bud.

Your head arched back and your fingers dove through his locks as he teased a swirling flicker over the highly sensitive spot. Suddenly, his arms bent up under your thighs and you were lifted and held firmly in a leg spread seating position by his muscular limbs as he knelt on the floor with his palms planted on the wall and then...his tongue thrusted into you, dancing about in your heated taste. The combination of his darting plunges and bellowing moans broke your unstable dam, sending a flooding rush of climatic pulsating waves over him.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! God Leeeeeeeeee!!!"

Your scream was so insanely high pitched, you wouldn't be surprised if Lee's distant neighbors heard it. His back heard it alright as your nails dug right up his shoulder blades.

"Damn baby." he panted as he licked his lips and smiled up at you with a curled pouty lip, then let your shaking legs rest on the ground while he still supported you, or you would have fallen smack dab on your ass in your weakened state.

"Hold on to me." he quickly said and hoisted you onto his lap, then stood up as you squeaked out a giggle. Lee then carried you to the couch and gently laid you down, unable to move for a moment as he took in the radiant vision before him. The vision of him was quite mesmerizing as well as he stood above you, shirtless and the head of his seeping cock breaching the waistline of his jeans.

Watching him remove them was another joy all in itself, causing your core to relight like a match strike. He lowered himself over you, kissing you deeply and passionately, letting you taste yourself as he took his knee and pushed your leg up, then without warning, Lee thrusted into you, ripping your mouth from his as a squealed gasp came powering out.

Your wetness allowed him to fill you up instantly and he wasted no time rocking into you hard and steady with his foot propped on the floor and his other one stretched out down the couch. His arm slid under your other leg and pinned that one up too, bringing every inch of his straight to your sweet spot with his grinding sways. His bursting gasps and groans were in sync with his magical movements, bringing you both over the edge together.

"Leeee...I....oh my...g..god..." you cried, bucking your hips up like a rabbit.

"Jo...fuck...J..Jo baby...ah...ahhh...AHHHH!!"

He slammed against you, his hips vigorously jerking, his arms flexed and shaking profusely as he released into your release. The magic this man had to easily unhinge you in such ways was like no other ever had or could. He was meant for you and you for him...forever.

Lee kissed you tenderly, toying with your hair as you stroked his perspiring face.

"I'm sorry about today." he whispered.

"I'm not." you replied and smiled, making him smile and kiss you again, then you both shared a a gaze of looking into each other's souls.

"Jo...I did not wait for you. I wish I had but I didn't know you were coming. When you walked into my life, I didn't know it was you because I didn't know there was a you. You were never a list, a goal, or an expectation, only a dream. You were a surprise, a gift, an adventure, a beautiful new beginning to a story I never thought I'd have. As cheesy as this might sound, you complete me. I was empty before I found you."

"Right back at ya babe."

Lee chuckled, as did you, at the short but meaningful phrase you and he always spoke, then he kissed you again and got up, handing you a blanket.

"How about some dinner and music my girl. I'll go see what I have on hand to whip up. At least we got it right this time and made love first so the food don't burn like the last two times."

You wrapped up like a burrito in the large plush material as you laughed at his remark.

"Mmm yes please, I'm starving. Lee?" you called to him before he left the room.

"Yeah beautiful?"

"You don't have to leave or sell that house if you don't want to."

Lee softly smiled in awe of your understanding. "God I love you."

He blew you a kiss, clicked the music on and went to dress, then make dinner as you laid there for awhile in the afterglow of his love and during that time, you fell asleep with your relentless nightmares returning.

"Have you successfully picked up the package?" Craig asked into his phone as he steadily stared at one of his unfinished art pieces due to his lack of inspiration.

"Good. Bring him up." he continued in a wicked tone and hung up, then sipped his wine while anticipating the arrival of his guest.

The door opened and in stumbled an extremely agitated Ethan being shoved by Craig's men. Corinthos may have been his Kingpin employer, but Craig handled his own business in his own way.

"What the fuck Parker??!!" Ethan reeled when he saw the calm and cool Kiwi enjoying his usual blood red vintage paired with the eeriness of dried paint on his hands resembling the same murderous hue.

"Well, here comes the blushing bride...or should I say groom, one of them anyways."

"What the hell are you talking about and why am I being drug here and man handled by your thugs??!! I don't have any business with you!"

"Oh on the contrary, yes you do. Man handled, that's kind of your thing yes? And thugs? Hmmm, pot calling the kettle black don't ya think? Considering what you are? Don't be rude now. They can hear you." Craig quipped as he gave the two brawny men a grinning glance.

"Cut the witty bullshit Parker. It's like nails on a chalkboard and it would seem you're the one in black, taking over Jason's role. The new, but not improved Stone Cold wannabe. You're no better than me."

Craig sat motionless with a locked on predator glare at Ethan as he gritted his teeth, wanting to paint him red for knowing of his part in Jason's hit, but he couldn't reveal that he knew. As far as Craig being like Jason, he was in one particular way. He could be just as stone cold as him. Stone Cold Jason Morgan, a well deserved epithet given to him by the moniker making Damion Spinelli, a geeky, undetectable computer hacking genius and loyal, good friend of Jason and Craig's who aided Craig in this little treasure hunt.

"Jason's name will never cross your lips in my presence again or I'll remove them with a box cutter and display them on one of my art pieces. And as far as you are concerned, that is where you are wrong. You see, you and I are not the same. The reasons for my madness are for the greater good where is yours are solely that of being both a masochistic and sadistic piece of shit. So now, let's get down to business. You're stinking up the place."

Craig went over to his desk, put his glasses on as he sat down and searched for something.

"Now where is...ahh yes, here the little sweet bit is."

Craig picked up an envelope that was sitting in clear view on the edge of the desk, for if there was one thing he enjoyed doing, it was toying with people like Ethan.

"Here ya go. This will probably be worse than nails screeching down porcelain enameled steel." Craig daunted as he eagerly handed his dug up skeletons to Ethan with confidence.

"What is this??"

"Well, unless you're psychic, you'll have to actually look at it."

Ethan pulled out the single 8 x 10 folded paper and began to scan it. As he did so, his chocolate eyes slowly widened. Craig then walked over to the coincidental chalkboard that hung on his wall and ran his nails over it, Freddy Krueger style as he leered at Ethan with an ominous raised brow while chanting a one liner from the notorious Elm street tune..

"One, two, Craigy's coming for you."

"H..how did you know..."

"How did I know about that little tidbit of juicy info?? Well...you can thank my ex ball and chain for that, for she told me something long ago about you, knowledge that I believed to be totally useless to me at that time, but you know Beth and her big mouth, always blabbing people's business and always sucking your cock with it, etcetera etcetera."

"Now hold on a..."

"I'm not finished." Craig snapped, then sat in his painting chair and continued his taunting tale with great satisfaction.

"Seems you have a big trap too and should be more careful what you relay to loose lips Lizzy and believe me, there was completely a pun intended there. Anyways, I suppose since her and I had just gotten hitched, she thought she would share your happy news as well of how you married HER ex and then he filed for divorce soon after. What was the matter, you couldn't get it up? They have drugs for that you know? SO...recently, it all struck my urge to go digging through the dirt since I now know who your ex is. You see, slugs like you always leave a slimy trail. But that's all irrelevant really. What matters here is that I found out your dirty little secret that you kept hidden after the fact."

"What do you want? Why the fuck are you doing this?? This has nothing to do with you."

"It's always the same old questions, what do you want, why are you doing this blah blah blah. To be clear, it has everything to do with me, maybe not directly, but hopefully your measly mindless brain will soon catch on. Does the name...Josephine March ring a bell?"

Ethan's eyes rolled up from the damaging document to meet Craig's dilated devious ones.

"What does that little whore have to do with this?"

"Easy..." Craig snarled though his clenched teeth as his entire body stiffened up like a cat ready to pounce.

"Ohhh...I get it now. You know her because of Ja...umm...her brother. You're just another sucker that's fallen under her spell. So again, what does she have to do with this?"

"For a second there, I thought the light came on but it would seem there's an electrical short somewhere most likely due to your man bun being too tight. Let me spell it out for your grade school mentality. I learned that your ex is her man and that you're terrorizing her. She's off limits to you from here on out. If you even so much as look at her, I'll be there....and I'll gladly offer this info to her boyfriend...whom according to one mysteriously missing document...is still your husband. A divorce certificate that does not exist. It all just vanished, poof, into thin air, along with any records of Lee's filing and by whom? After some light digging, it would seem it's none other than your big wig attorney, one E.J. Dimera. Yeah, I know about his dealings with you and your butt buddies, the Zacharra's. Everyone in Salem and the entire state of Massachusetts clear to Boston know what the Dimera's are capable of accomplishing. How many zeros did you pay for it all to go away as if it never happened? I mean, I am sure a judge must have finalized it with his signature and seal of the courts so Lee had a copy. Is the judge in your pocket too??? And better yet, what I can't wrap my head around is what exactly are you hoping to gain out of going to all the trouble? Are you that pathetically desperate just to keep a man bound to you that don't want or love you?? Are you saving the little time bomb for some opportune moment of some sort?? If you think he despises you now, well...I think you can see how it will all play out if he learns the truth. Such as, say...he tries to get married again. This only prolongs the inevitable. What is this all going to DO for you?"

"You can't prove any of this. It was obviously just carelessly overlooked. Maybe Lee forgot to file with all he was going through because I was never even served. Simple as that."

"News flash. Avoiding being served, which is what you did, does not stop a divorce. And fucking please, is that how you're really going to try and get out of this with that dumb ass explanation?? The good doctor did not forget something of such importance. He was too determined to end it before it ever began and he's far too intelligent to make such a mistake. I guarantee you he has copies of everything after he filed, including the final decree but of course he probably never thought he'd actually need to prove anything because things like this only happen in books, movies and soap operas. More importantly, the courts don't just carelessly overlook these things. Not without a hefty bribe or blackmail from someone of high threatening stature, which is where we once again come back to E.J.. Simple...as...that." Craig retorted as he nonchalantly multi-tasked with organizing his art supplies to distract his intense urge of having Ethan take a swan dive off the roof.

"You really shouldn't go around tossing those kinds of accusations about someone like E.J....."

Craig's cocky laughter cut Ethan's words short and only proved even more to him of Craig's fearlessness and that he was up shit creek without a paddle.

"Someone like E.J. Ooooo I'm shaking in my ass kickers man. How bout this? I'll just give the good old Englishman E.J. a call and accuse him myself then. I'm not a pansy ass coward like you are....obviously. I'll also be sure to let him know that you ratted him out as well. Three, four, better lock your door." Craig jested, trying not to smile as he turned around to face a confounded Ethan.

Ethan momentarily dropped his head, knowing Craig had him by the balls, but kept on with his lame argument.

"Again, you can't prove it. There's no trail. You have absolutely nothing."

"The wheels on your short bus go round and round, yet you still can't comprehend that I DON'T NEED TO PROVE IT! The proof is all right fucking there in black and white, a marriage certificate that has no supporting divorce decree ANYWHERE and THAT PROVES your farce of a marriage is not legally dissolved, which is all that really matters here and it's all that WILL matter to your clueless hubby. I'm not out for E.J. unless he gives me a reason to be and I'm not looking for legal action upon you, I mean, you and I both know things don't get handled legally in our world. Simply comply with my terms. Stay the fuck away from Jo or Lee learns the truth and goes all Satan on you. Five, six, grab your crucifix."

"Ok, enough man. You ask what's in this for me. Well what the hell is in this for you Craig??? Josie will never want you if that's your end game somehow. First of all, she's so fucking far up Lee's ass and vice versa that nobody can tell where one begins and the other ends and second, what do you think she will think of you if she knows you kept this information from her just to torture me huh??"

"Now see, that's none of your concern because SHE is none of your concern anymore. It's not to torture you, you self-absorbed Shirley Temple haired sleaze! My end game is simply to keep her safe from the narcissistic likes of you and that's ALL I care about. The last thing she needs right now is to know about this, which I just know you're itching to tell her. I mean, I COULD just do her and Lee both a favor right now and wipe your ass all over this floor and then have my men dispose of you down in the boiler room where your dying embers will forever remain, which THAT don't only happen in movies, BUT..." Craig sighed. "Karma wants and deserves that honor more than I do."

By karma, Craig was referring to Jason. As bad as he wanted to make good on his threat, he would not deny his friend the long awaited and carefully planned take down of Ethan Bloom, just as Ethan and his goon guild had done to Jason. But the fact that Jason was biding his time in doing so was getting under Craig's skin because it allowed Ethan all the more time to torment you and he wasn't going to allow it to continue, even if he knew he was going about it the wrong way by keeping Lee's marital status a secret from you, especially when he swore to you he would do everything in his power to earn your trust back. It didn't matter though really. Craig knew he would never have you, but what ever feelings he had developed for you still made him want to keep you safe.

"Karma wants me huh? Well, aren't I getting that now? I will say, I do like the part about you wiping my ass all over this floor. Maybe we could come to some...agreement. I could enjoy that." Ethan stupidly offered with a sly grin as he randomly envisioned a shirtless Craig holding wolverine claws due to all the Freddy talk.

"Did....you just...fucking hit on me????? The only hit you ever send in my heterosexual direction better be the kind that fucking kills me. I'm into God given tits and warm cherry pie, not a shit stained cock that even your precious Lee didn't want anymore!" Craig fumed as he picked up a long and thin paintbrush, then rushed over to Ethan.

"I can only imagine this when I look at you! This...this isn't a cock. It's like your limp little dick!" he then loudly raged with every bone and vein protruding from his neck as he held the brush up in Ethan's face.

"You talk a whole lotta smack about dick's for someone who claims they don't swing that way. Why don't you just kill me instead of all this huh?? I can tell when someone is afraid to leave the closet and..."

A gasping grunt was heard as Craig grabbed the back of Ethan's neck and hurled him across the floor with one swift shove, then he graced Ethan's gut with a hefty football kick.

"You audacious little fuck. If I was ever into men, I still wouldn't touch you even while wearing a fucking hazmat suit!! Now get the fuck out of here before I shove this paintbrush so far up your dick hole, you won't need Viagra anymore! You're the one who should be afraid. Seven, eight, better stay up late. Nine, ten, never sleep again!!!"

Craig then sat back down at his desk and put his glasses on as his flushed face slowly regained it's natural tone. He then looked over at his lackeys, becoming highly annoyed.

"Why are you still here??? Get him the fuck out of here! Out the back."

Once Ethan was removed from his sight, Craig resumed his wine consumption as he cranked his music, wishing to release his frustrations out on a new canvas. As he stood, staring blankly at the white board, trying to take your advice and find inspiration through his daughter, nothing came to him as usual. So, in his anxious state, he headed out to his terrace with a new bottle of wine and drank his frustrations away instead.

After Lee had dinner cooking in the oven, a quickly mixed up meatloaf and potatoes, he noticed you had fallen asleep, a vision he could look at for hours upon end, but he decided to pry himself away and go outside to tend to his small garden so he wouldn't do what he wanted to do instead, call Liz and cuss her ass out, although he wanted to do much much more than that. The rage he felt inside over what she had done to him and Jacob sent his mind spiraling to a very dark place and if you hadn't been there at that moment, he would be downing a bottle of Jack, then stupidly driving to confront her and most likely winding up in jail. Once again, you kept him grounded.

As Lee began to snip a few scarlet red roses, you were succumbed in a nightmare that seemed far too real to only be a dream.

You could hear a train's horn in the distance and the railroad rumble of the wheelsets nearing closer by the minute. Standing alone in the foggy dark night, you could see a blurry vision of the hospital cutting through the murkiness and the word 'emergency' lit up in bright crimson letters that flickered as if it had some kind of short.

"Lee!!!" you called out, your voice echoing into the night as you slowly turned in circles in your search for him but he was nowhere in sight. The pale moon was full and cast only enough light for you to see a few feet in front of you.

You felt the anxiety creeping over you as your voice became muffled out by the roaring but invisible locomotive quickly approaching.

"LEEEE!!!!" you screamed as tears flowed like a waterfall over your chilled cheeks, but no sound came from your trembling lips, only a cloud of your warm breathe escaped them into the crisp air.

You could suddenly see movement in the distance, shadow figures appearing within the mist. Faint laughing soon meshed together into howling cackles and they sounded so familiar.

Something touched you and as you spun around screaming, you saw Ethan with these steel razor like nails, wiggling them at you and then another touch was felt, a hard poke in the rib cage of your back. Spinning around again with a squealing gasp, there was Elizabeth, holding a knife. Both had you sandwiched and both were glaring at you with terrifying frozen full toothed grins, like something out of the movie Smile. You were then touched again on the back of your leg and as you spun around once more, this time you saw the blinding light of the train. Ethan and Elizabeth squinted and ran as if they knew what was coming and then, there was a tug at the hem of your shirt. Gasping, you jumped back a step to see.....Jacob with the train's light glowing all around him like a fiery eclipse.

"Don't be afraid Mommy. Daddy likes to ride trains. It will come soon."

"J...Jacob?? What...what is happening?? Where...where is Lee?"

Jacob gazed at you in silence with his big blue eyes, then turned and walked away into the light to stand beside someone. A very tall someone who's face became visible, also from the train's light....it was Lee.

What sounded like a crack of thunder exploded through the air, only you soon realized it was not thunder, but the familiar sound of a gunshot and you then saw Lee holding his bloodied abdomen just under his ribs in which he was staring down at in confusion. He then raised his head, releasing a sharp gasp and looked directly into your eyes, his brows furrowing.

"Who are you?" he whispered.

The train horn blared again, so deafening you had to cover your ears as you screamed for Lee once more and then... you woke up screaming his name for real.

Lee came racing in the door and came to a surprised stop as he saw you standing there, partially wrapped in your blanket and crying and shaking like a leaf while looking as if you had seen a ghost. And in your quivering hand was a steak knife.

"Baby...you alright??" he calmly asked, hiding his fear for your sake as he slowly approached you and carefully reached for your hand.

"Jo, sweetheart...It's me...Lee....I don't know what's happening..but... can you give me the knife baby?"

Your gaping eyes darted down to the knife that you didn't even realize you were holding, nor did you recall picking up.

"I...I...I...I....I..." you sputtered. "I...don't...I don't know where I got this...or...or how...I got..."

You paused and gulped in panic as you dropped the knife and leaped into Lee's arms, whimpering and clutching him like a vice grip.

"Shhhhhh....shhhhh baby. I've got you. Sweetheart, you were asleep on the couch when I went outside. I...I think you may have been dreaming. I..I heard you scream for me. Do...you remember?"

You planted your eyes shut as you cringed.

"Uh..huh....E...Ethan...E.E..E..Eliz...they...were...I saw them....I saw them and...I saw you an an an an and J..Jacob...A train...blood...oh god, Lee, let me go, I think I'm going to be sick."

You slapped your hand over your mouth and ran up the stairs, tripping over the blanket and then you just dropped it and kept going.

Lee stood there for a moment, quite befuddled as he gazed into the living room where you had fallen asleep. There, on the coffee table was a plate with an apple core on it where Lee had sat the day before, cutting up his favorite fruit up with the knife that now laid upon the foyer's floor. He then could hear you gagging and bolted up the stairs.

"Jo! Babe...can I come in?" he asked in concern as he tapped on the bathroom door of his bedroom.

You began to cry so he hurried right in to find you huddled up on the floor beside the toilet.

"Heyyyyy sweet girl." Lee softly and sweetly whispered as he knelt down and stroked your hair from your face. "Talk to me. Are you alright?"

"I...I think so now...I...god I'm sorry. I feel so stupid."

"Nope. No feeling stupid. Something scared the hell out of you and that's nothing to feel stupid about my love. Come on. Take a hot shower and relax, gather your thoughts. I'll wait right here in the bedroom for you so you feel safe and then we can go downstairs and you can tell me about your dream while we eat. Yes?"

His smile....god you could never resist that, especially this one, the soft closed lip grin that had a slight upward slant on the right side.

Lee wrapped his arms around your waist and lifted you up to stand, kissing your forehead upon completion, then he leaned into the walk in shower and turned the water on.

"There baby, plenty of soap and shampoo in there. Take as long as you want and need. I'll lay on the bed and read out loud so you can hear my voice. I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you and I'll help you through this like you always help me. I...I won't let you fall."

You kissed him long and soft as you held his face, then entered the sizeable shower.

You stood motionless under the hot steam, now remembering ever bit of the day terror. You've had your share of nightmares in your 30 years but never one quite like this, so realistic, so vivid. Was it Jacob? Did he visit you with a message? Jesus christ, was Lee in some kind of danger? How would you tell him about it??

Your mind raced with all these thoughts as Lee's voice of beautiful words danced around them, making it all go away. Of course, you had to cover your mouth as you burst into laughter over what he was reading. It must have been one of Jacob's books.

"How do you spell love Pooh?" Piglet asked.

"You don't spell it Piglet, you feel it." said Pooh.

You walked out to Lee while towel drying your hair to see him propped against the headboard with his cute wire rimmed reading glasses on and his legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles with one of his button down shirts at his feet, most likely for you to wear.

Lee had been in the middle of reading when his words were abruptly interrupted by the sight of your bare form before him. You had to giggle at him lowering his glasses down his nose to view you in his state of awe.

He flipped the book up through the air and whipped out of bed to scoop you up into a swing around, making you squeal in laughter.

"God you are sexy as hell." Lee raved and then kissed you deeply. "Now, with that said, I suggest you put that shirt on or I guarantee you dinner will burn again."

He watched you with great resistance and a half smirk as you slipped the way oversized shirt on that came down to your knees, but to you, it was a perfect fit once you rolled up the sleeves.

You and Lee shared more wine, a white one this time as you devoured three helpings of the mouthwatering meatloaf and potatoes, for the only thing you had eaten in the past twenty four hours were Orlando's piece of toast and two bites of your ham sandwich. Once you had finished, Lee started a fire in the living room as you slipped on your leggings due to the chilly evening and then you cuddled on the couch with a blanket and wine and Lee's arm of safety around you as you then reluctantly told him all about the dream.

Once you had gotten it all out, you gazed up at him with welling eyes.

"Please...please Lee. Stay away from Elizabeth and as hard as I know that it is for you, please don't tell her or anyone even that you know the truth about Jacob's paternity. She only told Jason as far as I know and if she knows you know, she'll figure out he's alive and she'll run to Ethan about it and it will ruin whatever plan Jason has and it will even put him in more danger. As mad as I am at him, I don't want him to die for real. Just please, for now...promise me you'll stay out of it all. I..I know it was just a dream but I'm still scared nonetheless because I think Jacob was warning of something.... I...I can't lose you, I just can't. One week without you damn near killed me. Please promise me Lee!" you begged as your building tears finally flowed over.

"Hey, hey...I promise, I promise baby. I can do that for you to give you some kind of peace. All I really want is just to be with you, just like this and shut the fucking world out. Liz and Ethan, I believe, will be handled by karma and in the meantime, I will never ever let them hurt you." he sweetly assured as he wiped your tears.

"Here...I'll give you a symbol of my promise and my love for you." Lee continued and then reached over on the side table to pick up one of the red roses he brought in. He tore off a single petal and began to fold it into the shape of a heart as your hand laid gently upon his. Once he finished, he laced his fingers into yours.

"I think you can spell love." you told him as you peered up in his sapphire eyes. "For you just did with that beautiful heart."

Lee laid the heart petal down and pulled you against him where you laid your head over his own heart and listened to the distinct soothing sound that no other could match.

"How about a movie my girl? Maybe something funny or...romantic?" he said with the cutest smile.

"Ok. Anything that will keep me awake because I...I don't wanna dream any more."

"Well then...how about a Lord of the Rings trilogy marathon. There's some comedy in them and some love here and there."

"Perfect. My favorite movies are fantasy ones anyways and I love this one...the Hobbit too. You know? You'd make one damn sexy elf."

Lee bellowed out a hearty laugh. "Is that so? Even hotter than Legolas, Haldir or Thranduil?"

"Oh...waaaaay hotter babe."

"Mmmm. Alrighty then...I'll go make some popcorn!"

@redeemer46

[silvfyre-writings]

Snapshots Pt. 2 (BSD Fanfic)

While I am working on Paperboy, I got motivated to write this, so enjoy this cute short chapter of fluff!!!

And thank you to all that have showed interest in this fic so far, it makes me super happy to see you all enjoying it!

Once a month, Yokohama held a night market at the port, a market filled with delicious foods and plenty of goods that vendors tried to sell to anyone that showed even the slightest amount of interest. The best part was that it wasn’t just limited to things within Japan; people from all over the world came to Yokohama’s night market to sell their wares, meaning that one would be able to experience all sorts of cultures in just three nights if that was what they wanted. The markets were always busy, filled to the brim with people excited to see what was being offered that month, because each month was different—it was rare for the same vendors to appear twice, so it was impossible to predict just who and what would be there.

But that was what made them all the more appealing.

So, of course it made sense for Ranpo, despite the risk of overloading all his senses, to drag Poe to those markets when he noticed his partner starting to withdraw and isolate himself from the world; something that Poe began to do when he needed to take a break, or when his mind started to become his enemy. Usually, when that happened, Ranpo would wrap Poe in a blanket and they’d spend the day on the couch watching movies until the tension seeped out of Poe’s body and the writer drifted off to sleep, sleeping the rest of the day away until he woke up feeling much better than when he’d woken up. It wasn’t a perfect solution, and it didn’t always help, but Ranpo was doing the only thing he knew how to do, and sometimes, that was all he could do.

Which was why, this time, he was determined to try something new.

“Poe-kun.” Ranpo whined, stretching across the bed to poke at the lump that was buried underneath every blanket on the bed. Poe had woken up that morning with absolutely no energy, and any attempt Ranpo had made and trying to coax his partner out of bed, had failed. In the end, Ranpo had just crawled back into bed, more than happy to sleep the rest of the day away, but now the sun was setting, and still, Poe hadn’t left the bed, and Ranpo was over it. “Edgar. Come on, you need to get up.”

The lump shifted slightly. At least he’s still alive under there. “Ranpo-kun, please, I just want to rest today.”

“You’ve rested all day already, and it hasn’t helped, so come on! Up you get.” Ranpo sat on his knees and gripped the blankets, mentally counting down and waiting for that moment when Poe would relax his grip on said blankets. And sure enough, just as his countdown hit zero, Poe’s grip loosened, and Ranpo yanked the blankets away from the man.

“Ranpo!” Poe yelped, and lunged to snatch the blankets back, but Ranpo was faster and pulled them off the bed entirely.

“Don’t Ranpo me.” Ranpo grabbed onto Poe’s wrists and dragged the man upright before he leaned in to brush his lips against Poe’s, gentle and soft, and just enough to make Poe’s eyes flutter behind his hair. Ranpo rested his forehead against Poe’s and spoke quietly. “You know being in bed all day does nothing but make you more miserable, so it’s time to vacate the bed. We’re going out.”

“Out? Where?”

“To the night markets, silly. They’re on this weekend.”

The tiredness that had attached itself to Poe’s entire being that morning was immediately replaced with concern at Ranpo’s words. “The night markets? But Ranpo-kun, they are the busiest markets Yokohama has to offer, you won’t—”

“We’ll go early.” Ranpo interrupted, feeling warm and fuzzy inside, knowing that the first thought on Poe’s mind was concern for how he would handle going to the markets, because Poe was right. The night markets were busy; filled with crowds and sounds, and just overwhelming to Ranpo’s already sensitive senses. It was why he’d never been to them before, despite how big his curiosity was towards them. But, he figured that, with Poe, it’d be a fun little outing for the both of them. “We’ll go early, and leave before the crowds get too large. People forget the markets open up mid-afternoon, because they want the experience of the night market.”

“If you’re sure…” Poe murmured, sounding uncertain, but Ranpo knew he’d already won, so he grinned and tugged until Poe was standing upright.

“I am! So, hurry up and get ready, they start in an hour!”

“R-Ranpo-kun!”

The markets were busy, just like Ranpo had expected, but like he had predicted, going in the afternoon when the sun was still high in the sky, the crowds were thinner, quieter, and much more tolerable. Of course, Ranpo wasn’t stupid enough to just go the busiest market of Yokohama without taking the necessary precautions, because the last thing he wanted to do was send himself into overload when he and Poe were supposed to be having a good time; he had a pair of headphones around his neck, just in case, but he was certain they would be unnecessary.

Besides, the main thing was that Poe was smiling.

Ranpo focused on that instead of the crowd.

He followed behind Poe as the writer stopped at a stall selling some kind of food from America, looking comfortable as he chatted with the vendor in English, a tongue that Ranpo knew not a word of, but always loved to hear fall from his partners lips all the same. It hadn’t taken long for Poe to spot the people selling goods from his homeland, and even less time for him to strike up conversation with them. Ranpo couldn’t help but smile softly at seeing Poe, still shy and hesitant, actually engaging in conversation with someone that wasn’t, well… him.

“Ranpo-kun, here.” Ranpo blinked, surprised to find Poe standing in front of him, placing what looked to be a cookie into his hands. “I apologize for talking for so long.”

“It’s fine.” Ranpo took a bite of the cookie, eyes flying open as chocolate oozed out of the centre, delicious and still warm. “This is good! What is it?”

“It’s just a chocolate filled cookie.” Poe said, biting into his own cookie as he led the way further into the market with Ranpo following close behind him. “I used to have them all the time as a child. It’s nice to eat one again after so long.”

“You never tried to make them yourself?” Ranpo asked around another mouthful. He could see why Poe enjoyed these kinds of cookies, because they were amazing. Truly, he had eaten plenty of cookies before in his life, but these were top tier ones.

Poe shook his head. “I tried once, but I’m not much of a baker, so it didn’t go well.”

Ranpo quickly chewed and swallowed the remainder of his cookie before he grinned up at Poe. “Well lucky for you, I am an excellent baker—”

“Didn’t the oven catch fire the last time you baked?”

“—that was because Dazai knows nothing about baking and set the oven too high, but as I was saying, we can bake some together if you’d like.”

“Sure, that would be nice.” Poe looks down at him with that fond look that never failed to make Ranpo’s heart skip a beat. It was the one thing that gave away just how much he loved the man walking beside him, and he can’t help himself from knocking their arms together; Poe immediately understood what Ranpo was asking, because the writer was just as smart as him, and just as affectionate, and linked their hands together.

Poe’s hand was larger than Ranpo’s, yet gentle and warm from where it pressed against his own. Ranpo loved holding hands with Poe—he couldn’t put it into words, but there was just something about it that he really liked, and he always looked for an excuse to hold Poe’s hands. He was glad that his partner didn’t seem to mind it when Ranpo sometimes came up with a ridiculous excuse. But even Poe would sometimes look for any reason to reach out and intertwine their fingers together, just like he was doing now.

And that was how they spent the rest of the time they were at the market, hand in hand with each other, and only letting go when something caught their eye and they wanted to look at it. But without fail, the moment they were done, they would find each other’s hand and continue to walk.

“It’s getting busier, should we go?” Poe suggested, turning his attention away from a stall that was selling handbound notebooks to look at Ranpo carefully.

Ranpo looked around. He’d noticed the crowds were starting to grow larger, and the sun had dropped low in the sky now, casting a deep orange glow across the market. He was more than ready to go—had been for a while now—but seeing the joyful expression on Poe’s face made him want to delay leaving for as long as possible. “If you still have places you want to look at, we can stay.”

Poe continued to look at Ranpo for a moment before he turned back to the vendor, purchased three of the notebooks, and then came to stand in front of him. Ranpo blinked and stared up at Poe with a curious look, only to have his question answered when Poe reached up to slide the headphones around Ranpo’s neck up to cover his ears.

And the world went quiet.

“Don’t neglect yourself for my sake, Ranpo-kun.” Poe smiled, and placed a kiss on Ranpo’s forehead. “I’m happy when you’re happy, and right now, you are uncomfortable. So let’s go home.”

“Okay.” Ranpo grabbed onto Poe’s hand and allowed his partner to guide them towards the exit. “Did you like the market?”

Poe nodded. “I did. There was a lot of food that I haven’t seen in years, and people were selling quite some interesting stuff. Thank you for bringing me here. I think I truly did need to just get out of the house for a bit.”

And as Poe continued to tell him what he thought about everything he’d seen, Ranpo leaned to rest his head against Poe’s shoulder. Maybe we’ll come back next month then.

[sachiko6243]

The good old Doc - Part 14

Missed the start? No problem, here is the first part, the following ones are always linked at the end, so you dont have to search endlessly. 😉

Summary: Lieutenant Lilith Adams enlisted back in the military, only to be met with a certain cocky pilot. Overcoming certain past traumas, she tries to fit in with the team of pilots as their personal medic. Soon finding her stuck between a certain good looking aviator and her work morals.

This is a series which is currently in the making, so I don’t exactly know how long it is going to be. 😊

Word count: 2781

Warnings: generally none, maybe some for those who have deeper knowledge of military stuff. I do not and I am sorry in advance, if I got things wrong (you are welcome to correct me in the comments)

I will be on vacation for a week. Thats why I posted part 14 and 15 today, so that I dont have to interupt my time off. I hope you guys understand. Have a great week. 🥰

The next Monday, I found myself called to the Admirals office with the rest of the team. We were all waiting for his arrival. And by the looks on Warlock’s face, the situation was critical to say the least. Nobody dared to talk or ask questions. The tension in the room weighting us down like we were buried alive. When Cyclone rushed into his office minutes later, we all jumped to our feet, saluting him. He waved us off, without saying anything. Slumping into his seat. Another swing of his hand signaled us to sit down. Quickly we shuffled into our seats, eyes curiously trained on Cyclone. He was reading through a file over and over again, seemingly not willing to accept what was written there.

“I have bad news.” He said after a while, shutting the file. His face showed no direct sign of distress, but I could read it in his eyes. “Apparently, our borders have been breached by two enemy carriers, accompanied by five warships. As far as our knowledge goes, one is filled with ten SU-51 and the other with several helicopters and support aircrafts. Our base is the closest to the next carrier. It is currently turning to pass our coastline. The daggers will fly their jets and land on the boat, while Lieutenant Adams, me and all our bags and supplies will be picked up by a helicopter. Prepare for the mission, call your family. This mission is classified, so if you must, lie. Everything else will be discussed once we land on the carrier. Time is of essence. Take off is in two hours. You are dismissed.”

As soon as he finished talking, everyone rushed out of the room. While I was running towards my office, I called my mother: “Mom. Its me, Lillith. I am pulled for a mission. I don’t know how long it will be and I am not allowed to tell you more.” She interrupted me: “What do you mean, pulled for a mission? Why cant you tell me anything?” Her voice was laced with worry and I could practically see her pacing around, wherever she was.

“It’s a classified mission, that just came up a few hours ago. We get mission details when we depart. Don’t worry. I will be fine.” I tried to calm her, but she was over the edge already: “This came up in the last hours? That means something dramatic happened. You are deployed with aviators. Your missions are always planned out over months. We are getting attacked, aren’t we?”

She of course knew how the military worked, having connections all her life. But I couldn’t tell her. “I cant deny or admit anything, mom. You have to trust me, okey? This is the last phone call for a while. I will not take my phone and I don’t know if we are allowed to call from where we will be. If something happens, be assured I love you, okey? You have been the best mom, someone could have asked for.” I tried to keep my voice steady, to not further upset her, but a few sniffles escaped nonetheless.

“I love you, too Lillith. Just promise to come home again, okey?” I could hear her crying, even though she was hiding it pretty well. But I didn’t know anything that was about to happen. And one of the first rules in the navy was: Don’t promise something you cant keep. “I will try my best, mo. But I have to go. I love you, bye.”

Before she could answer I hung up, turned off my phone and locked it into my safe. Then I started to view over my medical supply bag. Luckily it was complete. Then I packed my go bag. The three sets of my uniform, I always kept on base, my first aid body kit, a book and the small plushy my mother gifted me when I was accepted into the navy. Then I practically ran across the base to the called out meeting point. The helicopter was already waiting. Cyclone and the pilot started to load it with the bags the team brought in. As soon as he saw me, Cyclone came over and took the heavy bags from my shoulder.

“There was enough time, for you to do two rounds.” He said, voice stern. Concentrated on what was about to happen. I ignored him. “Where is Jake?”

“He already dropped off his things. I believe he is doing the last check ups in his jet.” Cyclone answered. “Yes, you may say good by to him.” He added, once he saw my face. I didn’t need to be told twice. Racing down the runway, I crashed through the big gate, my eyes frantically searching the hangar. When I made out Jake, I walked over to him. He noticed my appearance as soon as I stood next to him. Stopping his check up, he took me in his arms. That was the moment I started to uncontrollably sob into his chest. Letting go of all fears bottled up inside of me.

“I know, darlin. I know. But I promise, whatever we are about to do, I will do everything in my power to protect you, okey?” He whispered, caressing my back. I wiped my tears away. “But what about you?” I asked, voice, thing and shaken by my cries. He offered me one of his big flashy smiles. “Well, I believe in the best medic of the navy, to stich me up again.” His playful comment had me laughing. “Just promise not to do something stupid, okey? I know how you fly and I swear if you pull some risky shit and die, I will come to wherever this afterlife is, and kill you again, understood?” Jake let go of me, saluting rigidly. “Understood, Ma’am.”

I pulled him down by his vest, pressing my lips against his. This kiss was filled with desire, pain and uncertainty. But I swore, that I would do whatever it would take to keep him safe. And I truly believed he would do the same. With that safety rushing through my veins, I ended the kiss, stepping back. “See you on the carrier, aviator.” I smiled tilting my head, watching him climb onto the wing of his jet. “See you soon, medic.” He answered, smiling at me, while he put on his helmet. Turning around I made my way back to Cyclone and the helicopter.

The flight didn’t take long. And while I was squeezed between Cyclone and what felt like tons of stuff, I learned, that the pilot was my old companion Mickey from Afghanistan. He was like me a total sucker for madness, so I wasn’t surprised to learn he volunteered for this mission. “Tell me, Wifey. Is there some man in your life, or do I still got a chance?” He playfully asked over the coms, not knowing the whole dagger squad was connected with us.

“Back off, man. She is taken by a real pilot.” I could hear the possession lacing Jakes voice. Mickey didn’t seem to be impressed that much, ignoring the unfamiliar voice in his headset. “Didn’t know you would fall for an aviator. I always thought you would go for a real man. A man that knows how to handle a combat and not just drop a bomb from thousands of feet of air.” Snickering he turned around to look at me.

“Stop it, Mickey. They don’t know you and probably now think you are a piece of shit. And to answer your question, you never had a chance.” I said, squinting my eyes at him. He placed one hand over his chest. “You hurt my feelings, little Lady. All this time I believed I was your favorite pilot, only to then be replaced by a voice in my head.”

Rooster laugh rang through the coms. “I swear, whoever you are… I really like you. We should go for a beer after this shit show here. My name is Rooster by the way. The best of this squad.”

“Shut up, Rooster.” Jake interfered. “And my name is Hangman. I am Lilliths boyfriend and the best. Because unlike little Rooster, I am already have to take downs registered in my file.”

“Still, Maverick has five. Makes him an ace and the best.” Phoenix interrupted him. “Phoenix by the way. I fly one of the double seaters with Bob. Say hi Bobby boy.”

“Hi… I… uh… I am Bob.” Bobs voice was quietly heard. Payback was the next to speak. “If we already are bragging: My name is Payback and if you ever find out, why I am called that way, then pray you are not the one on the receiving end.” His introduction had everyone laugh, remembering how he would throw out several people out of Pennys bar each Friday night. “Yeah. And I am Coyote. I am just existing. That’s all.” Jave spoke after the laughter had subsided.

“You have a cool team, Wifey. But still. I think we Marines are better.” Mickey cockily shot back. Our bantering got interrupted by the control tower on the ship: “Tower to dagger squad. Runway clear for landing. Mickey you can hover.”

So, we did. One by one I watched the squad land their jets on this short excuse of a runway. And with every time they managed to drop and catch the rope taut to slow their landing I was whisked away. I knew what good of a pilots my team were, but seeing them act it out whipped me from my feet every time. Once the runway was cleared from any jets, ropes and crew members, Mickey got the permission to land as well. Quickly the helicopter was unloaded, the bags stowed away and the quarters obtained. I was sharing with Phoenix. Bob with Maverick, Coyote with Jake, and Rooster with Payback.

Not even half an hour later, we found ourselves scrambled into the very small control room staring at a wall of screens. Cyclone was explaining what happened and what our mission would be. Apparently, the team was called to take down any aircraft in the airspace inside the US sea area. I was supposed to expand the team of medics on board, having detailed information on the medical history of the dagger squad. Nobody knew exactly why our borders have been breached and any signal towards the enemy ship wasn’t answered. And based on the route they were taking the as well didn’t seem to steer outside of our borders, making their actions officially an attack on the safety of US citizens.

I looked at the clock on the wall. Nearly 5 pm. That meant this meeting was about to be over and we could take our dinner in the great mess hall. My thoughts about nutritious but bland military food where suddenly disrupted by Cyclone addressing me directly: “Lieutenant Adams. After this meeting, please accompany Lieutenant Smiths to the medical quarters and get familiar with the area. This meeting ends now. You are dismissed. Mission tomorrow starts at 0800.”

“Yes, Admiral.” I quickly answered, letting my eyes scan over the crowd. A tall woman with brown hair smiled at me, identifying herself as Lieutenant Smiths. After we were dismissed, I waved my team goodbye, telling the I would meet them in the mess hall. Then I made my way through the crowd towards Lieutenant Smiths. She offered me her hand. “You can call me Cookie. Whats your name?” She had a bright angelic voice, I could not quiet connect to her tall, and fit statue. Shaking her hand, I answered the question. “Lieutenant Adams. But everyone calls me Wifey.”

She laughed at my name. “Wifey, huh? How did you get your callsign?” I tilted my head, smiling and following her through the corridors, trying my best to get them stamped into my brain. “My first deployment got me on a base where I was the only woman. Being the medic I was their contact person for any problem they had. And one day, when a Marine came in with a dislocated shoulder, I had to completely knock him out on medication, because he wouldn’t sit still. When he gained his consciousness back, he mistook me for his wife. After that, my name was set. How did you get yours?”

“I loved cookiees, so I used to dress up as the cookie monster from the sesame street back in elementary school.” She answered, pulling a small bag of cookies out of her pocket. “Besides that, I always carry a bag with me. You never know when you need them.” Opening the bag, she offered me one. I took it gladly, since this was the first thing I had eaten in the last hours.

After a while we reached the medical bay. Two men and another woman were waiting for me. Pointing towards a smaller thin man, Cookie started to introduce me to them. “This is Apollo, he got his name, because his last name is Armstrong. The woman next to him is Bambi. She got her name, because of her doe eyes.” A blond woman with big blue eyes waved at me. “The last one is Beetle. Whenever we are in an area with many insects, you can bet they all swarm around him. We haven’t figured out why yet, but the study is still running. If you have a guess, we take it, doesn’t matter how wild it is.” A tall darkhaired man with a mustache offered me a bitter smile. “Yeah, about that. If you ever need any insect or spider removed just call me. My presence alone will lure them in.”

After a short walk through the med bay, we made our way towards the mess hall. The dagger squad was already waiting on a long table, so we joined them. Luckily, they were connecting with each other quickly, so a was able to zone out. Letting my thoughts wander, while quickly shoveling down the food I thought about what would make someone act out this clear of a war threat with us.

It wasn’t that I was scared of the mission. But I was concerned with the plainness another nation was breaking a truce. What if this was something planned from a long hand, baiting the US military to act, then making us look like the aggressor? What would happen then? Would we be at war, with said country? What country even was it, that send out this ship? It wasn’t sailing under any flag, nor did it answer any calls. And worse of all, what if someone of my team would get hurt? I couldn’t do anything, if they get shot down somewhere over the ocean. And who could guarantee, they would be able to return alive with a rescue helicopter?

The longer I thought about tomorrow, the more agitated I got. Not noticing my leg jiggling, I was startled to feel Jakes hand on my thigh. “Whats wrong, darlin?” He quietly whispered into my ear.

“I am nervous.” I answered. “What if this is a trap? This ship isn’t sailing under a flag, not answering any calls. Who would do something like this?” His hand started to caress my leg, trying to calm me down. “I am sure its nothing. Probably just some miscalculation and they don’t understand us, or don’t get our calls. We will scout and that’s all. In and out quickly.”

“My guts tell me otherwise.” I mumbled, not looking up from my plate. Jake put an arm around me, pulling me into a hug. “Everything will be alright. Its normal to worry before a mission. Especially since your last got you kidnapped and tortured. But if something goes wrong, I will protect you and I promise to come back to you. Even if that means I have to slaughter a whole army by myself.”

“You are a jerk, Jake.” I laughed, letting my body sink into his. He laughed at my comment, getting up from his seat. “Lets get you into bed, darlin. Otherwise, I am sure, the enemy will turn their ship as soon as you would catch their eyes.” I squinted my eyes. “Is there something you wanna tell me, Bagman?” I threatened, causing him to raise his arms laughing. “Not at all. You look beautiful like a sunshine when you wake up. I am sure the creature crawling around in the kitchen making coffee is just in my imagination.”

“I hate you.” I grumbled, not taking the hand he offered me.

“No, you love me.” Was all he said, guiding me towards Phoenix and my quarters.

[angel-milano]

As the Embers Dim || Gang Edition

Takes place: November 30, 2024 Summary: Gem (@gem-morey) confronts Angel after the burning of the Hunted Deer

ANGEL:

She could still smell it. The smoke, overpowering in its thickness and pungent odor, had been enough that she’d hardly been able to smell anything else. Even with her werewolf senses, it still lingered, stronger than anything else. She wondered for a moment if she’d gotten serious lung damage from it, the way that Reggie had with his smoking. Then again, if a gunshot couldn’t kill her, then she probably shouldn’t worry about that either. Considering some people didn’t make it out of there alive, that was a point in her favor.

It did draw her attention, however, when a whiff of that smoky smell hit her nostrils again. A few moments later, the door to the room they had her resting in opened, and there was Gem Morey.

“Hey,” she said, a little surprised. You had to go out of your way to make it to HQ, so she hadn’t been expecting any visitors. “No farmer’s market today? It probably closes in the wintertime, I’d think.”

GEM:

Gem didn’t give a fuck if Angel was alright or not, to be quite frank. He was pissed as hell. 

They’d all known that Angel wanted to fuck with Gaston. Gem was even on board with it. Even though he’d patronized the Deer all the way up til he banned pyros–didn’t mean he didn’t think Gaston was a complete and utter bastard. He just also really liked fish and chips, and the Deer had been the only place to get them.

And now, he couldn’t even get them because Angel had gone rogue and burned down the entire bloody place? Killing Gaston inside? 

As if a magical fire wasn’t gonna point directly to him in that shitty little town. 

It was Gem’s own fear—a wild animal between his teeth—that drove him to Angel’s door. He came in burning behind his eyes, gloved hands clenched tight into fists so he wasn’t burning there too. 

“What the fuck were you thinking?” he demanded, ignoring her attempt at being blase about this. 

ANGEL:

Oh, so this wasn't a wellness check up.

When he immediately lashed at her, her hackles raised up, claws digging into the ground. It wasn't her fault. She didn't know he was going to fight back with a gun. She didn't know any of this was going to happen the way it did. Did he think she wanted to be shot? Did he think all of this is what she wanted?

But she didn't say any of this, at least not in the panicked spiral that it was coming to her brain. While there was a momentary flash of that worry and defensiveness in her eyes, she averted them away and shook her head. She did push herself so that she was sitting up, even if it did stretch her rapidly healing muscles in a way that almost made her wince, though she bit it back. Any signs of weakness had to be buried.

"You're going to have to be more specific," she said, inviting him to get off his chest what he clearly needed to.

GEM:

“Oh, am I?” Gem drolled sarcastically, his expression not wavering.

“What about the part where that was sloppy as hell? Everyone is going to be looking for someone to blame. And it sure as fuck isn’t going to be you!” 

It’s going to be me. (Or Hades, but Gem wasn’t really thinking about anyone else.) 

He also couldn’t say it, even if it was pretty much implied. It still just felt too…vulnerable to say it out loud. And there was a part of him that was hurt that she wouldn’t give him the heads up that they were planning to burn the place down with Gaston inside it. Her original texts hadn’t said shit about that. 

ANGEL:

"If they need someone to blame, it's going to be MAFIA. We at least made that crystal clear," she pointed out. Not that it really helped because Gem was in MAFIA. It wasn't hard to read in between the lines that he was afraid he was going to take the fall for this. It wasn't even the first time that he'd been taken in since her time in Swynlake. She didn't know his full backstory, but she knew it wasn't an unfounded fear.

"We did everything we could to make it, like--mystical, you know? The fire changed colors, there were fireworks, Banzai screamed some creepy spell shit into the night. There's nothing that would tie it to--" She bit her tongue, keeping the word 'you' back. "--just any fire-user."

But that didn't matter to the police, did it? And it probably didn't matter to Gem because she had still done it anyway. "Look--you're right, it was sloppy. Honestly, the whole thing was a shit show. I wanted to bring everyone together, but Reggie said it needed to be kept under wraps by Bill's order. Then suddenly Bill's approval came in and we were just doing it. Had to be kept small, he said. Had to burn it all down, he said. I wanted to send a message but I didn't think there would be nothing left but the message. I wasn't trying to--" 

Her words caught in her throat as her mouth moved faster than her mind. She didn't want to admit it, not out loud. Not what she did, nor her intentions, or lack thereof, behind it. She huffed sharply and quickly pivoted. "It wasn't supposed to be like this. But it is, and it can't be changed now. You know we wouldn't let anything happen to you though, right?" She said, looking up at him. "I'd come after you."

GEM:

Gem knew for a fact that the stupid fucks down at the sheriff’s department didn’t give a rat’s ass about what the fire looked like. They’d take him down to the station for questioning just because it was fire. After all, the only reason they’d taken him down before was because he hung around the Hauntley and had a damn criminal record. 

He wasn’t just any “fire user.” He was a fire user with a record. Which meant he was the first in line when it came to suspects. 

And he was ready to say all this too. To put his anger and frustration and fear somewhere. To maybe get it through Angel’s head that this wasn’t a game. That people’s lives were at stake. That MAFIA was serious. It wasn’t all kittens and rainbows and freedom for Magicks. 

But she kept going--rambling about Reggie and Bill. 

Yeah. That made sense. Of course it was fucking Bill. He knew that Bill’s soft-eyed, old man routine was an act. At least, partially. Gem had grown up in prison with vipers, he knew what they looked like. Maybe he did have good intentions, but Gem also knew he had no loyalty. At least, not to Gem. Or Angel either. They were the lowest rung on the ladder. Expendable. 

“Nice sentiment, but it’s not that easy,” Gem scoffed. “You can’t just break into the prison all over again. Certainly won’t get it green-lit to come get just me. That’s what I’m saying though--” he softened, somewhat, as much as a boy like Gem could soften (which was hardly perceptible, but the timbre of his voice lost some of its edge.)

“You need to be careful, Angel. This isn’t a game. We had a win, but that doesn’t mean we will win every time. It doesn’t mean any of us are untouchable.” 

ANGEL:

Angel noticed the way that his inner flame flickered and receded a bit.

"I don't give a shit if it's green lit. I'm not letting anyone else take my fall," she insisted. He was probably right that she was being naive about the whole thing, but she didn't care. She'd been the one to fuck this whole thing up and if anyone was going down for it, it would be her. But even then, she wouldn't go down without a fight.

The corner of her lip twitched as he scolded her, albeit softly. She leaned back farther into her pillow, avoiding his gaze. "It wasn't a game. I always knew that guy was a creep but I didn't think he was a danger. When it came out what he did to that girl and it was clear that the police weren't going to do shit because there was no evidence--I knew he was going to do it again. Guys like him always feel entitled to other people's bodies, especially the less human they see them" she said, a clear layer of knowing in the tone of her voice.

"We're not untouchable but we're also not helpless to do nothing, you know?" She said, finally casting a glance up at him, as if begging to understand. "It didn't fucking go as planned and shit got out of control but--I know this isn't a fucking game. It's our lives, as Magicks. No one's going to help us but us. They've made that entirely clear."

GEM:

Gem rolled his eyes at Angel’s naive insistence. 

Maybe she’d try, but she’d be in prison right along with him if she did. Gem was more than happy to fight against the fucked up justice system that had ruined his life, but he also was very aware of the power of what they were up against. It was an intimate fight for him. He already bore the scars of it. And there was an instinct there to keep others out of it.

It was the same instinct that meant he didn’t talk about his experiences. Didn’t share it with his brothers or his girlfriend. He knew how easily it angered people.

And how easy it was for angry people to do stupid things. 

That was what Angel was. Obviously, he didn’t have her experiences. He wasn’t a woman. And he wasn’t someone anyone was ever going to be able to put their hands on without his permission. He’d never been vulnerable like that, but he’d been stripped of his dignity in other ways. He knew how angry it made you. 

That was the thread that bound MAFIA together. It was red and it was angry. 

“I’m just saying to be careful,” Gem repeated. “You’re gonna let your frustration cloud your judgement. Bill and Reggie don’t control you. At the end of the day, your decisions are yours, yeah? MAFIA has good intentions but…”

Gem stepped further into the room, so his hip was parallel to the side of the bed, looking down at Angel. He felt the back of his head crawling, as if someone was standing behind him. 

“That doesn’t mean they’re decisions are always right. Make sure you’re thinking for yourself.”  

ANGEL:

Her wolf's hackles were raising. What, did he believe she couldn't think for herself? That somehow she was manipulated into this by Bill and Reggie?

She almost shot something back but then the way he moved closer to her, looked her in the eye, got her defenses down again. Instead of holding its ground, her wolf lowered, ears folding against the back of its head.

"...Yeah, alright," she finally conceded. "I get it."

She ran a hand through her hair. "They said I have to stay here a few days, while I recover. When you go back to Swynlake can you just…keep me updated? Let me know if they’re like, scapegoating anyone or some other bullshit."

GEM:

Gem didn’t drop eye contact with Angel. As much as he pretended to be aloof and laissez-faire, he cared about this. Not just because he didn’t want to fucking wind up in jail--but because he didn’t want Angel or anyone, really, to wind up in jail either. 

It wasn’t his responsibility. He knew that. And if anyone asked, he’d deny it. But he couldn’t not care about it. 

Once she nodded, his shoulders relaxed slightly. He didn’t know how much he’d actually gotten through to her, but…well, at least he’d done his part. If she made stupid decisions after this, he could rest easy that he’d tried to do something, at least, about it. 

“Yeah, sure.” Gem shrugged. “Unless I end up in jail,” he tacked on wryly, smirking at her. 

[becauseimbexx]

Where Does a Girl Even Start with this…

TW: drug usage & mental health

At first I wasn’t sure how to title this or how to begin, but I got a lot on my mind and a lot to be said. This will probably be a multi part kinda thing. But talking to a good friend tonight has got me all kinds of emotional and in deep thought. I think these feelings have been inside of me for so long but I just haven’t had the strength to fully sit with them and actually feel them. So here it is…

First a foremost, I feel completely and utterly lost in damn near every aspect of my life. It’s like I’m still stuck in the forest that I got lost in years ago on one of my many drug benders. Like I know my physical body made it out alive and safely to my home but my mind is still stuck there. Every night at least one dream I have is set in a forest. Sometimes they’re nice dreams, & other nights not so much.. I’ve had this feeling of being lost ever since then. It’s at times like I’m also watching this current life from the outside. I’ve been trying to understand why I’ve felt this way and after chatting with my beautiful friend today about her hardships I’ve came to realize just how I’ve been in similar situations and can relate. Similar situations that hurt like hell yet I never actually felt them. Memories that the above drug bender helped me bury deep within to point I started to forget them. Now I’m starting to feel like this theme of being lost has gone on my whole life. I legit wanna cry but am at the point the tears ain’t coming yet. I know it seems a little scatterbrained articulation wise but what I’m saying is, I don’t want to be lost anymore. I want to tell my story and be found. I am worthy of that! I am unsure of where to start this adventure but as I work through the negatives on my own (and sharing with those things with close trusting individuals) I want to reminisce on the positive memories & recreate them through my content in some way. Remembering things that made me happy when I was a kid & finding ways to heal my inner child. The girl that had to grow up way faster than she should have. I gotta let her know things are gonna be okay, in order for myself to start feeling the same way now.

I think that’s enough for now. 🤍 I just wanna say one more thing. If you’ve played in part of my life lately, I appreciate you more than you know. Thank you for accepting me for the crazy girl I am. Thank you for blessing me with the most supportive & loving community of friends a girl could ever ask for. The bonds I’ve created with y’all have really helped tear down the walls I had built up. It’s honestly ya’ll that keep me grounded and not completely lost. 🖤

& if I don’t know you, and you haven’t been scared off, Hi, I’m Bexx. 👋🏻🙃🤭 Welcome to the magical shit show that is my life.

🔮✨🙌🏻 I’m really a bubbly, fun-loving girly. I love all things visual arts & music, I am a stay at home mama & wifey, & home maker. An Ugg & legging wearin basic white girl at heart who likes to play dress up & house. If you notice I never stay with one aesthetic for too long 😝🥰

Okay, now we done!… sorry! If you made it this far, thank you 🙏🏻

Xoxo 💋🤍🖤

Bexx

[admirableadmiranda]

Debts and balances: or how much does one man have to pay over the course of his life?

Good morning everyone! Today we’re going to be talking about debts, and why Jiang Cheng needs to shut the fuck up on debts because he is the one in the wrong pretty much the entire time.

Let’s start by acknowledging that I am not of this culture so I may perhaps state a thing or two wrong, but I also have several functioning brain cells to rub together and I pay attention so I will probably be more right than most of the “hot takes” I see on why Jiang Cheng is not actually in the wrong here. Because he is. He so is.

So, debts. First of all, there are multiple levels and layers of debts and to whom do you owe them too. So let’s start with the first one where the story is subtle about it and yet both Jiang Cheng and Madam Yu are in the wrong. We know that Cangse Sanren saved Jiang Fengmian’s life at one point when they were young. Life debts are big. To only be alive because of someone else’s actions is a debt that it is possible you will never be able to pay back. There are multiple stories of otherwise good people protecting the obvious villain because they owe that.

Jiang Fengmian’s only way of being able to pay back that debt after Cangse Sanren and Wei Changze die is to take care of their child and raise him how they would have. I.E, as a cultivator. This is not a debt that Wei Wuxian owes to the Jiangs. It is quite literally, the least of what Jiang Fengmian owes him and his parents to do.

Jiang Cheng cannot claim that Wei Wuxian owes them for his life. He is wrong. 

Next debt that even Jiang Cheng does not try to claim, only his ever so pleasant stans, the fucking dogs. The fucking dogs that he does not actually give a fuck about. 

Wei Wuxian does not ask anyone to do anything about the dogs. He is not in a mental state to. He is in a state of triggered phobia where his brain literally goes into run away screaming mode. This is also not funny and Jiang Cheng is a jackass for making fun of it whenever it happens. Jiang Fengmian is the one who decides that it’s better for the dogs to go. Even though Jiang Cheng is upset, he does not actually hold this as a lingering grudge against Wei Wuxian. He lets it the fuck go. And even if he didn’t, the resentment and anger should be aimed at the person who actually made a decision about it. Not Wei Wuxian. He does not give one singular fuck about his dogs later on. Let the fucking dogs go.

Third off: The Fall of Lotus Pier. There are different levels of blame that we can lay on this. Wei Wuxian is not close to responsible for this. Jiang Cheng knows this and elects to blame him anyway.

The first people we can lay the blame on the fall of Lotus Pier is the Wens, who came with ships, warriors, Wang Lingjiao to rile up the notoriously short tempered asshole Madam Yu, and Wen Zhuliu the Core-Melting Hand. They came prepared for battle and they got what they wanted. Madam Yu is the second one we can lay the blame on, for deciding to attack and demean Wang Lingjiao, not for making her do anything she didn’t want to do, because holy hell did she want to whip Wei Wuxian until he couldn’t move and leapt at the chance to do such a thing, but because Wang Lingjiao is a servant who was elevated by her lover and Madam Yu is a classist asshole. This is the only reason she flips out. Wei Wuxian did nothing wrong. Wei Wuxian does not have the blood of Lotus Pier on his hands, he is tied to Jiang Cheng and told to protect him at the cost of his life, a debt he does not owe. 

The four debt he attempts to claim, the only one that might be considered to have some teeth if it weren’t for how much Wei Wuxian gives him back almost immediately. Jiang Cheng goes to distract the Wens from Wei Wuxian and ends up getting captured and losing his golden core. So first off, in this world a golden core is a lot to lose, I won’t deny that. But, first off, Wei Wuxian is only in danger because after being whipped a lot, then strangled, then having to run after Jiang Cheng multiple times because he would rather go die at Lotus Pier than listen to either of his parents and escape, he still goes into town to get them something to eat because otherwise Jiang Cheng would rather lie on the ground and die. Fucking great sect leadership there, huh Jiang Cheng? But yes, Jiang Cheng sees the Wens, sees them notice Wei Wuxian, goes off to distract them and then gets captured and loses his golden core.

Now we’re getting to some of the debts that Jiang Cheng owes and refuses to pay back, because that’s definitely going to get him far in this world. Wei Wuxian in his panic and attempt to find Jiang Cheng, finds Wen Ning, who after some struggles manages to convince him that he can sneak in and get Jiang Cheng back out. In addition, he also retrieves the bodies of Madam Yu and Jiang Fengmian. This is huge. Jiang Cheng now owes him both a life debt for again, saving his life at great cost to his own: Wen Ning is literally committing treason here, and also for restoring the lost honor of not being able to bury his parents properly. Wen Ning gives them a proper burial and later after the war he is able to lie them to rest in the Ancestors Hall so their spirits will be at peace and he will have fulfilled his fillial duties. By all means, the debt he owes Wen Ning in particular is so great that he should have taken in every Wen in those camps and sheltered them because it is as close as he will ever get to repaying that debt. And that’s just Wen Ning!

The next debt he owes and refuses to pay is to Wen Qing, a genius doctor and respected by Wen Ruohan, who uses the prestige and skills she has to protect both him and Wei Wuxian in at this point enemy territory when they are being actively searched for, being the new sect leader and head disciple of Yunmeng Jiang. She hides them and then later uses her skills to give him a new golden core so that he can go and fight back against his people, revitalizing his clan and eradicating hers. This is another debt that could only really be paid back by protecting her people if she came to him. He owes her literally his life, his power and his people.

The third debt he owes and refuses to pay is to Wei Wuxian, who more than overbalances the scales back in his favor by giving him his golden core. He pays his chance at immortality, his power, his strength, his cultivation, everything that he has to his name so that Jiang Cheng won’t starve himself to death over losing his core. In addition, he tells Jiang Cheng that this comes from a once in a lifetime favor from his mother’s master so even before when he didn’t know about the core, this is still a massive, massive debt, a limitless one time favor from an immortal that he uses Wei Wuxian’s chance to get and never actually thanks him. So at this point, his own golden core as a debt starts to seem a little hollow. Either way, it’s been repaid. An action you do in service of someone else is not a weapon you get to hold over their heads for multiple lives.

Moving on! The next debt he would like to claim is that Wei Wuxian apparently has no right to do things he does not approve of. Excuse me? Is he now a computer program that crashed? What the fuck Jiang Wanyin? Wei Wuxian has less rank than him, although Jiang Cheng is so high rank in this society that he only shares his rank with three other people and there’s no one above him so it would be very hard for him to not be, but he is still a person, with his own thoughts, wishes, dreams, hopes and beliefs. He is not an extension of your hand, to make your clan look good and stand behind you as a hammer to smash on people. Wen Qing goes to Wei Wuxian to ask for help for finding her brother, her people because they are literally being tortured to death. This is a debt that by all means, Jiang Cheng should be repaying. See that part where Wen Ning committed treason to help him and restore his family’s honor? See that part where Wen Qing literally gave him the ability to go back to war against her family? This is the point where anyone with honor would recognize this is the only thing I can do. I will throw myself on my sword if I must, but I must repay this debt to them. There is nothing less I can do. But Jiang Cheng has only the honor of a mangy cur and ignores this, and when Wei Wuxian goes to fulfill this debt, he tells him to stop. To him, his multiple life debts are an inconvience to shoving his nose so far up Jin Guangshan’s ass that he’s tasting what he had for dinner that day.

The next debt that he would like to claim is the death of his brother in law. This is a debt that Wei Wuxian would owe to specific people. This debt is to Jiang Yanli, Jin Guangshan and Jin Ling, one of whom is wanting to forgive it, one who is too small to decide at the time, and one who straight up does not give a fuck beyond advancing his power. Jiang Cheng is not one of these people. His sister is fine, she’s not his concern anymore, she’s a part of the Jin sect. The only reason why he died is that Jiang Cheng decided the best way to repay his debt to Wei Wuxian was to throw a temper tantrum and declare him an enemy to everyone, ripping out every support from under his feet. Regardless, Jiang Cheng is an asshole and does not get to claim this debt.

The final one of Wei Wuxian’s first life that he keeps hurling at him is the death of his sister...the death of his sister who chose to leap between Wei Wuxian and a sword. The death of his sister at a battle that broke out because Jiang Cheng has been with Jin Guangshan whipping the cultivation world into a frenzy against the Wens and Wei Wuxian because of power and jealousy. The battle that would have not happened if they’d left them alone. Jiang Cheng has been to the burial mounds. He has seen the farmers, he has seen the baby there. He has decided that rather than do anything to repay these various deaths, he will kill them on other people’s swords instead. Because he is also a coward and won’t pick fights he can’t win. In addition he likes to steal Yanli’s agency, she’s the one who chose to come, she’s the one who chose to get in the way and she doesn’t die with regrets. And she is not his debt to claim. Again, the one who actually gets to claim this death that Wei Wuxian is not responsible for is Jin Ling, who actually shapes up and decides that it doesn’t matter, he doesn’t blame Wei Wuxian for it. He forgives him his role in that space and moves the fuck on, unlike a certain sir stabby grape mcwhipinnoencts.

And then Wei Wuxian dies and any debts he may have still owed to Jiang Cheng, not that there were any, die with him. Jiang Cheng has no claim on him, he was not part of his sect, they were not brothers in any way, indeed Jiang Cheng called him his enemy. Even most people with far more real grudges at this point would let it go. Wei Wuxian is so dead that no one can find his soul, no matter how hard they look. He comes back to life and reaps the rewards of his actions, finding new allies, getting the chance to actually interact with Jin Ling and make his apologies, and in the end, settle down to a peaceful life with an adoring husband and nothing left to be repaid. If there is still a debt he owes, it is only to Mo Xuanyu, who gave up his entire cycle of life to let Wei Wuxian reincarnate early with his memories, a sacrifice he only asked for repayment in the death of his family. He may owe more still, but that is all Mo Xuanyu wanted from him in repayment for this great sacrifice. The cultivation world is in the wrong when they’re trying to persecute him again for the actions of his previous life, he owes them nothing anymore. The debts he carries towards Jin Ling are the ones he chooses to take on, feeling guilty that he grew up without his parents due to the world’s general actions and also no one else taking responsibility for how far things fell. 

That is what Jiang Cheng finally realizes in the temple, crouched on the floor and sobbing like a spoiled child over the golden core sacrifice. Is that he is in the wrong and has been in the wrong the whole time. That there is nothing he can hold onto, no debt that Wei Wuxian ever owed him that he could demand to be paid. He built it all up in his head as he left his honor, his family and his dignity in the wake of his arrogance. And it’s a painful thing to realize, the consequences of your decisions, but all he can do is live with his own ruined reputation, his own loneliness and the fact that no one wants to be around him. He’s blacklisted by multiple matchmakers, his disciples are more like thugs, Wei Wuxian chooses every opportunity to get away from him and even Jin Ling likes him less and less over the course of the book, not forgetting that he seems to prefer Jin Guangyao to begin with as he actually talks to him sometimes and doesn’t hit him. Jiang Cheng refusing to pay his debts gives him exactly what a debt deserter deserves. No one has a reason to trust him. The one bit of positive character growth he does is giving up and not trying to reel him back in by telling him of the sacrifice. At this point, all it would be is just him trying to get another debt he cannot hold because it is long since repaid, never quite made up for what they gave him to make up for it, and worthless in the face of Wei Wuxian’s new life. Wei Wuxian owes him nothing and never has.

Also, just to tally up the relationship between Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng on things given between the two of them, Jiang Cheng gives him: a lot of whinging on how unfair it is that Wei Wuxian is a prodigy, and a one time immediately regretted and held over his head sacrifice of a golden core. Whereas Wei Wuxian gives him: many lessons on how to be a kinder person that he ignores, the patience and tolerance of his stinkbug attitude, his love, his affection, his fucking golden core, his reputation, his blood, his livelihood, taking over his debts, trying to keep any of his actions from reflecting on the Jiangs even though if Jiang Cheng had repaid any of the debts he owed, there would have been no problems because if the Jin’s did decide to attack, Wei Wuxian would fight back and he can level battle fields on his own, his honor, his relationships, and even his life in the end, because if Wei Wuxian had ever turned on him like he claimed, he would have been a bloody smeared spot on the ground. And Jiang Cheng gobbles this all up and demands more with Wei Wuxian’s blood and tears dribbling from his mouth. 

Would you give that much for someone who doesn’t treat you well? Would you find that a reasonable price to pay for someone who demeans you at every opportunity, who tells you you deserve your misfortunes and that no one likes you? Why are you surprised that in the end Wei Wuxian would rather walk away with people who care about him, why he gives up, leaves any opportunity for anything in Jiang Cheng’s hands. Wei Wuxian has given more than any person should for almost nothing. It is a sign of triumph and victory, of recognizing his own worth and value in the world and who he wants to be with, that he leaves, that he walks away with his head held high. He owes Jiang Cheng nothing, and Jiang Cheng will just have to fucking live with that.

[alcinadimitrescuwu]

This Woman's Work Part IX (Alcina x Female Reader Fanfic)

Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V Part VI Part VII Part VIII

“You’re almost there, Maman. You’re doing great. Just a couple more steps.”

You take a deep breath in through your nose and blow it out through your mouth and push forward at your daughter’s coaxing, your arms gripping the railing that had been set up in your bedroom. The wound in your side is in agony but you take another step, biting the inside of your cheek hard to keep from crying out in pain.

It has been three weeks since that horrible night. You had already lost a lot of blood by the time Karl and Alcina arrived at Donna’s place. In an incredible stroke of luck, Donna had surgical thread in her sewing kit and at Salvatore’s instructions (he was having one of his good days) sewed up the place where Alcina’s claws had torn through. You were in and out of consciousness, but every time you opened your eyes Alcina was there by your side holding your hand.

Alcina is sitting nearby in her chair now, gently burping Ecaterina after her feeding. She looks up at you and you see concern in her golden eyes and another emotion that has been a mainstay for the past couple weeks: guilt.

Things had been...awkward between the two of you since that night. No matter how many times you assured her that all was well and you had forgiven her, she refused to forgive herself. You had only been intimate one time since that night and it ended quickly after Alcina had forgotten about the wound in your side as she cupped your hip and you couldn’t hold back the scream of pain that came out of your mouth. Alcina had immediately gotten out of the bed and as far away from you as she could, as if afraid touching you would cause any more damage.

She had sunk into the chair and began sobbing brokenly. You had wished to go to her, but your Bath chair was already on the other side of the room. You braced yourself against one of the bedposts as you said gently, “Darling, it was an accident. The pain’s already subsiding. Please come back to bed.”

Alcina covered her face with her hands, but you could see the tears rolling down her cheeks. “I can’t even make love to my wife without causing her pain. What kind of wife does that make me?” The raw self-hatred in her voice broke your heart.

From that point on whenever you had settled down for the night, Alcina kissed your forehead and turned out the light and that was the end of it. She kept to her own side of the bed and you greatly missed the feeling of her muscular arms about you with your shoulder tucked under her chin, her curls kissing your cheekbones.You had the sense that if you tried to move closer she would move away so you didn’t even try.

You try to take another step and suddenly the room spins around you and you fall forward. Daniela, however, quickly grabs your arm and puts her arm around your shoulder before you hit the ground.

“I think that should be enough for today, Maman,” Bela says soothingly.

You set your jaw. You only have three more steps to go before you clear the railing. “No, girls, I can keep going.” But your ragged breathing and forehead shining with sweat give you away. You push your tongue to the inside of your cheek and taste coppery blood from where you had bitten into it.

Cassandra rolls your Bath chair over to you. “Maman, you don’t need to push yourself so hard. You’re not gonna be of any use to Ecaterina if you run yourself ragged.”

You smile at Cassandra’s brutal honesty as she helps you into your Bath chair. “You’re right, dearest.”

Alcina stands up, having finished burping Ecaterina. She looks affectionately over at her daughters taking care of you and you see one of the first genuine smiles from her that you’ve seen in weeks. “You’ve been so good to Maman these past few weeks, dears. She and I really appreciate all the help you’ve given to us and Ecaterina.” She rests the hand not holding Ecaterina on the back of your chair and you take her hand in yours, kissing her knuckles. Surprisingly, she doesn’t pull away this time. “It’s time for us to put Ecaterina down for her nap and for me to change Maman’s bandages. If you’ll excuse us, loves.”

The girls nod in agreement and vanish into their bug shrouds. Alcina turns around and settles Ecaterina into her cradle. Ecaterina gurgles, her eyes mirroring the gold in Alcina’s. Alcina gives her a tender kiss on the forehead before turning to you. She motions for you to stand up and you obey as she kneels down to your level and helps you take off your day dress. Standing there in your slip with her hands on you reminds you of how long it has been since you have last felt her touch.

Alcina lifts up your slip ever so lightly and peels off the gauze bandage wrapped around your waist. Alcina sets her jaw as she uncovers the gashes she herself had inflicted on you. She takes off her gloves, dips the pad of her thumb in a jar of salve and applies it to your wounds. There is an unreadable expression on her face.

You try to give her an encouraging smile. “I talked to Sal the other day,” you posit. “He says that even though the wound is deep,if I don’t expose it to too much sunlight it won’t leave a scar!”

“Not a physical one at least,” Alcina mutters.

Ok. You’ve had enough. You turn her head to face you. “Darling, we’ve been over this,” you say, rubbing her cheekbone with the pad of your thumb. “Are you going to keep punishing yourself forever?”

Almost despite herself, Alcina leans into your touch and interlaces her large fingers with yours. “I can’t imagine how much physical pain you must be in, my love,” Alcina whispers. “And all by my hand.” Tears begin forming in Alcina’s aureate eyes. “I nearly killed you.”

“You didn’t though, Alcina!” You move over to her lap and she gently almost tentatively wraps her arms around you and holds you close. You lean your head against her chest and resist the urge to sigh. It’s been so long since you’ve been held by your wife. “I know you were under Miranda’s control but something held you back from killing me outright. I know it.”

“You don’t know what it’s like being under someone else’s control.” You can almost feel Alcina’s body shudder as she recalls that night. “It was like I was outside my body watching myself. I was screaming at myself to stop when I kissed that woman.” The memory of your wife kissing Mother Miranda so passionately pops into your mind briefly but you shut it out as she goes on. “And when I stabbed you, I-” Her voice cracks. “I was practically begging myself to stop but my body just moved on its own.”

“Don’t you see, then, darling?” you ask. “You weren’t yourself when you were under Mother Miranda’s control. The person that kissed Mother Miranda, the person that stabbed me, that wasn’t you, so please.” You cradle Alcina’s face in your hands and stare into those beautiful discs of gold. “Please stop blaming yourself for this. Mother Miranda is dead. I’m alive. Our daughter is safe and healthy. That’s what matters now.”

Alcina kisses your forehead lovingly. “When did you get so wise?” she asks, tucking a stray curl behind your ear. You can see that you’ve finally gotten through to her. Her body posture is more relaxed, her jaw is loose, and her shoulders aren’t so tight. She carefully places the new bandage over your wound and you feel a pleasant tingle as you feel her bare fingers brush briefly over your tender skin.

She moves to pull your slip over your new bandage but you take her wrist before she can withdraw it. You hold her gaze as you take the strap of your slip off your shoulder and your slip coils in a pool of silk around your ankles. She takes you in her arms and brushes her lips against yours briefly. When she pulls aways, you see the same desire in her eyes. “Are you quite sure, ingeras?” Alcina asks, brushing the back of her knuckles against your cheekbones.

“Yes” you rasp. “Take me to the bed.”

Alcina picks you up as you wrap your legs around her waist, taking care not to touch your sensitive wound and carries you over to the bed. She gently, almost reverently lays you down on the bed. She lowers herself down to kiss you again and you bury your fingers in her curls. Alcina deepens the kiss, her tongue coaxing your mouth open as you unfasten the pearl buttons on the back of her dress. “I’ll go slow for you, draga,” Alcina murmurs against your lips.

“Alright, let’s see how our little patient is doing today- JESUS CHRIST! What the FUCK?”

It seems like Heisenberg has decided to check up on you today.

With a frustrated growl Alcina moves quickly in front of you while holding her own dress up. “Yes, Heisenberg, that is in fact what we were setting out to do before you arrived.” Alcina shakes her head at him derisively. “You seem to have impeccably bad timing, as always.”

Heisenberg’s face is beet red again, you note with amusement. “Well, excuse me for trying to check in on my sister-in-law and my goddaughter! Speaking of which, really Alcina? Getting down and dirty with the kid in the room?”

Alcina’s cheeks are also sporting a lovely red color. “Ecaterina was asleep.” Amidst all the commotion, Ecaterina has already woken up and is crying. “Well, she was until you came in.”

The girls suddenly materialize into the room. “Mother!” Cassandra chirps. “I thought I heard Uncle Karl in here and- JESUS CHRIST! What the FUCK!”

Alcina covers her face with her hands. Bela takes the book that Daniela is holding and holds it so it’s covering the image of you and your wife on the bed. “Really Mother,” Bela tuts to herself.

Daniela doesn’t seem to mind. She turns to the two of you, unperturbed by the state of your undress and asks, “Can Uncle Karl stay for dinner, Mother, Maman? Please? It’s been so long since we’ve all had dinner together!”

You smile indulgently at her over Alcina’s shoulder. “Of course he can, darling,” you say.

“Fine,” Alcina mutters. "Now if you please, will all of you kindly get out of our room?”

The daughters vanish into the bug shrouds, chattering excitedly about what Cook is making for dinner. Heisenberg leaves too, chuckling softly to himself.

You turn to your blushing bride and give her a chaste kiss on the lips before you both get dressed and join your daughters for dinner.

Together. As a family.

[sunkissedpages]

instead of you [part fifteen]

pairing: [best friend’s brother] tom holland x college!reader

summary: you didn’t expect to spend your summer pretending to be your best friend’s girlfriend- then again, you didn’t expect to fall for your best friend’s brother, either.

warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption

word count: 1.7k

series masterlist

Don’t tell Sam. Sam. SAM.

“Shit.”

You had to fix this in a matter of seconds. Should you slap him? Act like nothing happened? Pretend you were drunker than you actually were and play dumb?

“Wait, you’re not Sam?” you squinted your eyes like you were trying to see who was in front of you, acting like you were too drunk to remember who you were with. “Oh my god.”

“Y/n, I’m so sorry,” Tom tried. 

“I-” you didn’t know how to respond. “Why did you do that?”

He ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. “I don’t know, it didn’t mean anything!” You’d be lying if you told yourself that didn’t sting a little. If he didn’t have any sort of feelings for you, why would he kiss you? “I wasn’t thinking.”

“No, you weren’t.”

“I’m sorry,” he repeated. “Please don’t tell my brother.”

“You want me to lie to my boyfriend?”

“I mean, is it lying if you just don’t mention it?”

“It’s a lie of omission- are you really going to debate me about philosophy right now?”

“Then yes, I do want you to lie to your boyfriend because if he finds out he’ll never speak to me again.”

“You realize what kind of position that puts me in?”

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Yes.”

You couldn’t even think straight. Feelings of confusion, panic, anger, and regret fought for control of your conscience. “What if someone had seen us? Taken a picture of us? You’re a public fucking figure, Tom. That could’ve put your career at risk.” “Don’t you think I know that?” he growled. “I don’t need you to lecture me on how stupid it was.”

“You’re an asshole,” you scoffed.

“I know.”

You stood from the table to leave, hoping he wouldn’t follow you, but he called after you, your name echoing in your ears like a warning. Reluctantly, you turned back to face him with a bitter taste on your tongue.

“You won’t tell him, right?”

You stared him down for a moment, watching nerves etch themselves onto his features before answering. “You don’t have to worry about it.”

It was a promise you didn’t want to make, but you felt like you had no other choice. You hadn’t just broken the ‘no flirting’ rule, you’d blown straight past it into completely uncharted territory. And technically Tom had been the one to initiate, you hadn’t kissed him back, but you couldn’t say you hadn’t felt something when he did. 

You had never lied to Sam before- at least not on this scale. You felt sick to your stomach, and it had nothing to do with the alcohol. 

You almost didn’t want to go back to your room. You urged the elevator to go as slow as possible as you checked your appearance in the reflective wall. The tarnished gold was smudged with handprints, but you were still able to make out your ruined lipstick. You weren’t sure it had been messed up sometime during dinner, or if it was Tom’s doing but you couldn’t take a chance. You used your thumb to wipe away the evidence as the intercom on the elevator let out a ding to let you know you’d reached your floor.

With a shaky breath you pushed yourself into the hallway and forced yourself to put one foot in front of the other to walk to your room. You didn’t have a key, so you had to knock. You half-hoped Sam was already asleep, even if it meant you’d have to spend the night in the hallway. 

But as luck would have it he was still up and he opened the door seconds later. He was definitely out of it, blinking at you to put you in focus. 

“There you are,” he said tiredly, rubbing one of his eyes with his hand. “I was wondering when you’d come up.”

“I hope I didn’t keep you up,” you apologized as you breezed past him into the room. 

“Nah, I was just messing around.”

A lie, you knew, but you let it slide knowing you were keeping a much bigger secret. He was already dressed for bed in his boxers and one of your t-shirts and his hair was wet from a shower. 

“Are you okay?” he asked, noticing your anxious energy.

You nodded. “I had too much to drink.”

“Ah, me too, I think. Come take a shower. It’ll help.” 

You took his advice and tried to sober up in the shower, letting the cold water run over your bare skin until you were shivering. When it didn’t make you feel any better you turned off the faucet completely and dried off, wrapping a towel around your body and sitting on the edge of the tub. 

“Y/n?” came Sam’s muffled voice from the other side of the door. 

“Yeah?”

“Are you sure you’re okay?” 

You sighed. Why did he have to know you better than you knew yourself? You pushed yourself up from the tub and opened the door. 

“I had like three more shots after you left,” you mumbled.

The color drained from his face as he took in this additional information and he frowned. “Jesus, I thought I was drunk. Do you feel sick?”

“Not yet.”

“Okay, well let’s go to bed,” he urged. His accent was always thicker when he was drunk, and in a funny way it sounded like home, like all of those Friday nights back on campus. 

Sam gave you space to change into your clothes for bed and crawled under the covers to wait for you. You dressed yourself, hung your towel in the bathroom, and shut off the main light before feeling your way through the darkness over to the bed. 

You managed to get your drunk ass in bed without tripping which you considered to be a miracle. Sam slung his arm across your stomach as soon as you settled on the mattress and pulled you against his hip. You tensed underneath his touch, but he didn’t seem to notice. 

You couldn’t relax no matter how hard you tried, and sleep taunted you for hours, hovering just out of your reach. 

Sam’s alarm woke you from restless dreaming some hours later, when the sun had barely brushed the horizon. 

You groaned and rolled over onto your stomach, burying your face in your pillow. Your head was pounding and you didn’t even want to think about facing Tom. The simple motion of rolling over had made you nauseous and you knew that standing up was going to be a whole nother ordeal. 

“Come on, love,” Sam said, nudging you with his knee. He was already sitting up, rolling the tension out of his neck from a night on the stiff mattress. “We gotta be downstairs in a few minutes.”

Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes and you felt pathetic. You didn’t have the strength to be around Tom today, especially with Sam right there.

“Don’t feel good,” you moaned.

“We’re all hungover,” Sam sighed. “We’re not even doing that much walking today.”

You turned your head enough for him to see the tears running down your cheeks and he pursed his lips, expression turning worried. 

“Oh.”

“Can you make something up?” you pleaded. 

He nodded. “I’ll tell them you have a fever or something.”

You swallowed your shame and squeezed your eyes shut, whispering thanks into his shirt. Sam kissed your forehead and then got up. You vaguely heard him moving around the room getting ready, but drifted in and out of sleep as he did. 

Once he was dressed he softly told you goodbye, that he hoped you felt better, and that he’d bring you back some food later on. 

The door clicked shut and you let your guilt continue eating you alive. 

You wondered how Tom would react when Sam told his family you weren’t feeling well, if his face would give anything away. He was an actor, he should be able to handle it. But you also wondered what he was feeling, if he felt as guilty as you did- or even more so. Or maybe he wouldn’t even care. You never knew when it came to him.

You rolled onto your back and propped yourself up on a pillow, using the free time to respond to some messages from friends and family. It was the middle of the night back in the States, but at least they’d wake up knowing you weren’t dead. To be fair, everyone knew your communication skills weren’t the best so they probably weren’t expecting anything from you anyway, but you still wanted to put in the effort. 

The rest of the day passed by quicker than you would’ve liked. You spent it in bed, tossing and turning as you desperately tried to fall back asleep. You kept pushing the blankets off of you, then burying yourself beneath them again, flipping between hot and cold. Maybe you really did have a fever. Your clothes were suffocating you so you ended up stripping and dropping them on the floor by the bed. 

By the mercy of some higher power you were able to nap for a couple of hours scattered throughout the afternoon, but by dinner time you were wide awake again and passed the time by watching Avatar: The Last Airbender in Italian on the hotel tv. 

It was playing an earlier episode, the one where the gaang visited Kyoshi Island. You couldn’t understand any of the dialogue, obviously, but you still found comfort in the familiar scenes. 

There was a knock on the door suddenly, startling you out of your focus. You jerked your head towards the sound and scrambled from the bed. You slipped back into your t-shirt, but didn’t bother putting on pants before opening the door because you figured it was just Sam. And it was. He looked exhausted, but in the best kind of way and was holding a styrofoam container of food that was presumably for you.

“Forgot the key,” he said sheepishly, offering you the food. You smiled and took it from him, stepping aside to let him in. 

He didn’t take your cue, instead he stayed where he was standing in the doorway awkwardly. It was then that you realized he wasn’t alone, that his older brother had been standing behind him the entire time.

Sam offered no explanation, only shrugged like he didn’t know why he was there either.

“Tom?” you asked, awaiting an explanation for yourself.

“Can we talk?” 

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[happyselves]

Pacify Him { Daniel Ricciardo x reader } /// WARNING EXPLICIT ///

Chapter : One shot Rating : Mature / Explicit / NSFW Words : 3,622 words

“Pacify her, she is getting on my nerves, hold your bitch before I push her away. You’re free to bring anyone here as long as they are behaving, but her … I don’t judge the person you are seeing, obviously I could give two shits about it but please tell her to calm herself down … This isn’t professional.”

You were fuming as you entered Daniel’s driver room,as his PR assistante you never interfere in his frequentation, but when it was impacting the reputation of the team and bugging people visiting the motorhome you had to step him. You calm yourself after a few breaths, stepping aside from Daniel a bit before looking at him again.

“ I didn’t mean to come that hard on you Daniel, but please you know how this is important right. You always ask for my honest opinion and there it is, I didn’t mean it for it to step out this hard on you but I can’t apologize for my words when I was thinking about them. She is toxic for you, she brings the bad in you when you are someone adorable usually. What is happening to you that you don’t trust me enough anymore to tell me when something is going wrong ? And before you are shushing me off, you know I am right, you and I are a package deal. “

He was defeated, not even looking at you, his whole body was shutting down and his legs were giving up on him. He takes the closest seat near him, almost falling and barely able to sit gracefully like he used to do.

“ I don’t know … I am so lost, I keep doing stuff wrong, I can’t find my soul anymore, I’m not very myself recently, I can’t even find my smile being genuine in the morning when I wake up in the morning. I’m putting a mask for people to see, but I’m like an empty shell. This bitch as you call her is only here to distract me and try to make me feel alive. She is nothing and it was a mistake to bring her… “

You were very concerned about Daniel’s attitude, it was the first time since you have known him that he worries about you right now. You were kneeling in front of him, trying your best not to invade his personal space. It’s something new for you, not invading it, you never ever thought he needed one but he looked so fragile, then you were under the impression that if you were touching him he would vanish into dust.

“ You are scaring me, what’s happening, is it the team ? Something personal ? You know you can tell me everything … “ A long silence got installed, your eyes were starting to water by all the pain you were seeing in him. You thought he wouldn’t open up, he was shutting you out by the way his body was curling up and turning to avoid your gaze on him. He was protecting himself like a kid that was terrified of a big stormy night.

You wanted to be the one to reassure one, but you were practically sure you were part of the problem. You stand quietly, ready to leave him alone in his driver room because there was nothing you could do if he wasn’t letting you.

His reaction was imminent, the driver inside of him was popping up and his muscles memories acting for him as it was his turn to get up and close the space between you, shutting the opened door. You yelped out of surprise before feeling his pressing body against you. You were stuck between the wooden door and his warm torso. Feeling his heretic heartbeat pounding in his chest. You couldn’t speak, you were too shocked for that. You and him were friends, close friends but not that physically close. You never cross that boundaries, but today was different, you felt it was.

The seconds looked like hours waiting for the confirmation of your assumption. Daniel seems to be as surprised as you to have acted the way he did, it was too late to back away now.

“ Don’t leave … don’t walk out that door “ His forehead was now resting on the back of your head, slightly not to hurt you and put weight on it. You wanted to ignore all the fuzzy feelings flooding in your whole body, but you couldn’t. Having him so close to you awakens a deep feeling hidden in you. “ The bitch will go away I promise, I am sorry “

Why was he apologizing to you, he didn’t disappoint anyone, yet. You weren’t even mad, you learn better to not judge someone's fucked up attitude when you could recognize the coping mechanics of someone keeping a secret and trying to turn the attention away from himself for nobody to catch the true meaning behind these actions. Does that make it acceptable ? It was each individual to have their own opinion. It was annoying you, that Daniel was suffering but preferred to distract himself and run away from his problem instead of talking to you or anyone else.

You close your eyes, your own forehead finds the cold surface of the door, his own head following yours not breaking the contact. HIs hands find the side of your hip.

“ The bitch isn’t the problem isn’t it ? “ You asked without any certainty he will give you a proper answer to that. His thumbs were caressing the skin of your hips through the tissues of your teamwear shirt, drawing a circle. You were sure he didn’t even notice he was doing it, his body was only responding to one mood and it was the auto-pilot one.

You were searching for breath and the driver’s room was starting to get tighter by the meanings, you were about to suffocate if the situation in which you both were wasn’t going to change fast enough.

“ You are the only one that can take away my pain … “ It could pass for a simple sentence if it wasn’t so Daniel, you had learned the code of conduct of Daniel Ricciardo and that … that was a declaration. “ It was you and I before, remember ? “

You were missing a piece of puzzle here, what was he talking about, is he drunk ? You never act differently around him, nothing changes, it never does. Yes it was him and you, always have been.

“ What are you talking about Daniel, you are confusing me “

“ Why did it change, the two of us … “ He was responding to your question by another one, like he was having his own conversation in his head, you were tempted to let him speak his mind to discover the bottom of the problem.

“ It didn’t change Daniel … “ You were trying as much as you could to put everything together, in vain.

“ It did change, I can’t look at you the same way as before … “ There it was, a little clue. If only he knew that it has been a long time since you have been able to look at him the way he used to when you meet him the first time. It was more than annoying you that he had brought someone with him for the weekend, more than it should. You were fuming when you saw the unknown name on the list of guests and asked someone to lighten it for you.

“ I know you are lying, why would you react the way you just did before if you weren’t “ You wanted to look at him, but his body was still pressing you against the cold wood. You had so much to say and him as well, all this unspoken tension you both tried to make yourself believe was a liar. You were both frauds, your friendship switched into something more months ago after a drunk night. Nothing happened that night, only looks were exchanged. The battle you both had as a joke at first turned into something way more deeper than you both were expecting and when you both tried to pull out of it, the damage had been done. That night was an epiphany moment for you, awaking the true desire between you. Your bodies couldn’t lie, the need for them to touch, the flaming sensation of his skin against yours like it was happening right now. Everything happened before and since that night, it never was the same thing for Daniel and everything went downhill.

You move your hand, posting on the door and Daniel understands the message and detaches himself from you. You slowly turn, god he was a mess and you bet you weren’t better.

“ You bewitched me that night, seduced me with your eyes. It was a game at first and now look at us, where is the game now ? “ He wasn’t accusing you of anything, it was a simple statement, an understanding between you. Two people were playing the game and two people ended up losing.

“ That wasn’t my intention, I tried to pull away, it was too late “ Who sounds defeated now, the tables have turned and he brings you down with him to the bottom of his misery. A couple bruises on your heart that he created was all you needed to have the proof that at least you two had shared a moment. It had to stay professional, but as his face was closing up the gap, all your convictions were being erased one by one.

You didn’t wait for him, you joined him in the middle, your lips connected quicker than he had anticipated, your eyes shut down in synchronisation. You didn’t who reacted first and kissed the other one back. That lip was perfect, far from it, it was messy just like him, but it was passionate. His teeth were teasing your bottom lips, asking permission to tear the flesh of it apart. You moaned when his tongue was inviting you to open your mouth. The taste of your two saliva was so intoxicated that you almost fell and he had to catch you with both of his arms, supporting you from your lower back. His smile came back to life against your mouth, letting out a childish giggle and you hit his arm to make him stop making fun of your lack of stability.

HIs reaction was quick, if you couldn’t stand up anymore he would use that door to help you. He pushes you toward it and your back gets lean on it, his arms unlocking themselves to explore your body, finding where they were before except this style the hem of your shirt came loose, letting the palm of his hand directly enter in contact with your skin, sending you shivers.

You had forgotten your environnement, too busy burying your own hands in his dark curls, bringing him closer as much as possible. Your teeth were still clenching and air was starting to lack in your lounge. You didn’t want to let go, scared for the reality to be brought back. You have been dreaming for months about this. Having the fantasy in your head when the night was setting and the moon shining.

DSaniel didn’t let you think for another second as he used this little moment of rest when you stop kissing him for a second, to lift you up, grabbing your ass, his palm firmly around it. He moves you and remembered to lock the door before turning back his focus on you as he finally break the kiss to look at you. Lust could be seen all over your two faces. His face was not showing any sadness anymore, only mischievousness and happiness. If you knew that all you needed to do to bring back the Daniel you knew was to let your own desire take over you, you would have done it sooner.

He took the direction of the massage table beside him, putting you on the edge before finding your neck and kissing the soft skin. You let a snort escape when his scruff tickles a sensitive spot behind your ear. He laughs against the skin and the vibration changes the snort into a whining complaint. He traveled all the way down to your clavicle but the fabric of your shirt was stopping him. He didn’t wait for your approval to remove it, the force of the removal making you lift your arm automatically. They fall back on his neck when he throws the piece of tissue somewhere you will have a hard time finding back.

That was extremely hot from him and by your legs starting to spread a little bit and the heat you were starting to feel between them, he noticed acknowledge the effect he had on you and smirk, visibly proud of himself. It was not the time to hide yourself even if you could feel embarrassed, this man in front of you was everything you had dreamt of and it had the talent to make you feel confident of your body, just by the way he looks at every detail of your body.

You were eager to let him take the situation under his control and only his, not doing anything and just being the prize he was working on to have for so long. All the torment, the torture and the conviction he will never have you, he deserved it. You will get your prize another time … it was only the beginning for you.

He was taking his time with you,no matter how much his desire was waking up, he had one mission and one mission only; your pleasure. You could see the forming bulge in his pants and felt for him, imagining how inconfortable it must be for him.

It all went to dust when his hands found their way under your bra cupping your breast and his lips traveled your chest as he was kissing his way down. He was leaving wet kisses and blowing air on it, goosebumps started to appear quickly, head being jolted back.

You wish you knew what to do with your hands but they were gripping the leather of the massage table so hard your knuckles were getting white by the second. He didn’t seem to care as his hands found your pants, he pushed you a bit behind, making unspeakable demands for you to lift your ass so he could slide the piece of clothes down for it to join your shirt somewhere in the room.

You could barely keep your eyes open as you witnessed the extremely hot scene in front of you. Daniel between your legs, keeping the same pace with you, kissing his way up toward the inner of your thighs. You sensed his teeth nibbling your skin, licking every spot afterward, like he was trying to heal the pain he just caused you. Little did he know that pain you were feeling was arousing you even more, your panty was starting to visibly licked your excitement. It was feeling like torture, you thougth that Daniel would be like the others partner you had, your skin would get used to the touch after a moment and the horniness would stop at a certain level, thinking you had reach the maximal of his possibility. How wrong were you when you were on the verge to cum without him actually pleasuring you in this area. You knew it was coming, Daniel kisses were more hungry, teasing the flesh of your thigh turning red by the bite and the kisses.

His lips were swallowing, getting bigger by the unusual exercise they were carrying on, his tongue would feel numb if it was for the desire he had to taste you, letting it survive for a couple minutes still. You watch him, leaving a kiss on the wet fabric of your underwear, your eyes were blurrying by the anticipation of him finally finding your clit. His teeth end up moving the piece of dentelle that was the last barrier between you and him.

It was like he was home and belonged there, here with you, right in this instance, it was you and him against the world. Forgetting your environnement you let a cry escape a little bit too loud as soon his thick tongue was licking arousal. You thought that seeing the start was a legend, a fantasy, but Daniel had made you become reality as your head was banged back, finding the cold wall, your neck was stretching so hard that the blood was lacking in your brain making you see some sparkling spot. He needed you to stay quiet and as he tried to put one of his hands on your mouth he ended up finding the neck instead, squeezing it enough for you to moan his name as he was continuing his exploration of your pussy.

Your hands finally leave the grip of the massage table to find their new place around Daniel's arm. You were stretched out in front of him, so vulnerable, just for him and you were unable to give a proper reaction to being buried in the pleasure he was giving you. His tongue was teasing your entrance, making it hardening, pushing himself in you as you will. The thumb of his free hand was moving in a slow circle around your clit. He didn’t know the dilemma you were encountering, keeping your eyes shut and your head back or fighting his firm hand on your neck for you to see him eating you alive. You sure had to make a decision quickly because you were soon to arrive at the edge before you will let the orgasm consume your whole body.

By the sound you were making, Daniel had the confirmation he was doing everything in the right way for you. He never experienced such joy to make someone lose their composure due to his actions. He was feeling proud that he was finding it out with you. Every woman he had been with didn’t sound or look as beautiful and real as you spread in front of him right now. He could spend hours tasting you, how good you were for him, how reactive and sensitive your skin was becoming after being torn apart by him. How the thought of fucking you with his tongue had haunt his dream for the past couples of month now, but the reality of this was surpassing all his expectations. He wanted to be rough with you, all the dirty thoughts came back rushing into his brain, overwhelming him and sending twitch to his dick. Rather than being dominant, it was all about showing you how much he had wanted you and how willing he was to give you anything you wanted, because you deserved it. You deserved for him to make you forget every man you had sex with. Replacing all the bad and good memories with his own. Changing all the faces in your dream, planting his own in the own DNA of your imagination.

He could feel that you were holding it together for it to last longer, even if that meant losing the self-control you had in you. Your wall was tightening around his fat tongue. You were completely losing your mind at the foreword of sensation throwing at you at the same time. You were sure it was too much for one person and you could care less about the verbal explosion you might have in a couple of seconds. Daniel however, foreseeing your release, put two fingers in your mouth holding your jaw from your mouth, your lips closed themself around them and your tongue was soon relaxing on them. You bite his knuckles when his tongue replaces his thumb in one flick of the tongue, finally letting cum. Your legs were shaking and Daniel had to hold you for you not to hurt yourself, your eyes were rolling back as your orgasm hit you in small waves, sending you jolts of electricity around your body. Your brain was shutting down, the stifled moan never reaching the exterior of your mouth, dying down on Daniel’s fingers in sensual vibration that made his bulge react, begging to be taken care of.

It tooks you minutes to come back to the open world, Daniel’s eyes not leaving you for a second, admiring his work. You slowly come back to reality and automatically search for him, missing his touch already. Your eyes were still not open when you found the collar of his shirt and pulled him rather violently, crashing your lips together, taking a taste of your own juice still lingering on his lips. You sigh in the kiss, reassured that what just happened wasn’t just a dream and that you were far needing to wake up from it.You rest your forehead on his, the wave of pleasure was still leaving some after effects on you including dizziness.

You had to clear your throat as you realised no sound was coming it out the first time you tried to speak.

“ That bitch needs to go, tell her you replace her with a more living version. “

You couldn’t help but laugh at your own words and Daniel was smiling at the way you just described yourself.

“ She’s already gone, she was already gone before you burst into my room.

You didn’t know how to respond to that, but one thing for sure is that you will have a hard time making people outside of this room say that nothing happened between the two of you. At least you would not pissed them off and you were able to pacify him at any time.

MASTERLIST

[stellartales]

zhongli ▪︎ glazed moon

pairing: zhongli x traveler!reader

genre(s): comfort + mild angst + fluff

summary: liyue harbor is once again preparing for another festival — the mid-autumn festival. but somehow she simply couldn't bring herself to join the others in the celebration. definitely not when her heart is aching in melancholy for her missing twin. — | m.list

background: this scenario takes place during the mid-autumn festival - as quoted from wikipedia - it is the second-most important holiday after Chinese New Year with a history dating back 3,000 years, when China's emperors worshipped the moon for bountiful harvests.[2] The celebration is called Chuseok (autumn eve) in Korea, Tsukimi (moon-viewing) in Japan and Tết Trung Thu (Mid-Autumn Festival) in Vietnam

this event celebrated by the chinese is usually spent eating mooncakes and drinking teas. lanterns are also an important aspect of this festival. unlike the yuanxiao fesitval or mingxiao festival (which is the fictional festival featuring best boy Xiao in GI) where lanterns are released into the sky, lanterns are hand-held. this is a festival i celebrate every year hence i'm familiar with it — feel free to read up about this on wiki!

a/n: don't mind me, this is just a random idea that popped in my head. i'm in the mood for some angsty stuff these days so just had to get it out. Flute version of 无羁 (Wu Ji) from the drama 'Untamed' was the song which inspired my angsty mood while typing this. pardon my errors (I may have missed them and i kinda wrote this on a spur sooooo yea)

Please do me a favor and reblog this. Thank youuuu ❤

the vitality of liyue harbor has always been astounding; an envy of the seven nations.

bright, bustling streets even in the darkness of nights was enough to show the nature of the city.

though, today it was a different kind of bustle. stores were already closed; even the nocturnal businesses that one would only see at night.

the moon had been bright and round the past few nights while the people busied themselves for another festival to come.

— the mid-autumn festival, an annual festival celebrated by the people of liyue or at least that was what zhongli explained yesterday when he extended an invitation to her to join him and others in moon-gazing today.

tonight, the moon shone bright and full in the clear dark sky, seemingly more so than the previous nights.

strategically rooted to the ground of a spacious balcony overlooking the gentle waves below, the stone tables were in a perfect spot beneath the brilliant moon.

colorful mooncakes of various flavors and teacups filled with steaming tea laid before her.

she sat at one of the round stone tables with some funeral parlor staff and of course, zhongli himself who has been rather busy ever since she arrived—

the cheerful chatters and laughter drew her eyes away from the empty seat beside her and to the tables across theirs.

his archon days were over, he said.

he was simply trying to experience a mundane life as 'zhongli' now, as the geo archon had put it when she expressed her surprise at his involvement with a festival fabricated by the mortals' minds.

and indeed—

her gaze idled on him.

— he was doing it too well.

illuminated by the golden glow the table lanterns emanated, the cordial and relaxed atmosphere was warmed by attentive eyes and smiling lips.

all on him.

apparently, some things never changed. whether he was rex lapis or zhongli, he carried an alluring elegance and charisma. clinging to every word and his occasional hand gestures, they were like moths drawn to a flame.

she could understand why; she liked hearing him talk. she would have gone over too, if not...if not for this weight on her heart.

it has been nearly a year since she was in teyvat looking for her twin. these few days in the harbor, the full moon was a constant reminder of how time has passed, and yet...

a heavy sigh escaped her. a longing gleam waned in her eyes as she lifted her gaze to the sky.

they used to talk and eat under a full moon just like this, a bitter ache clenched her heart.

her teeth sank into her lower lip as it trembled.

please...not now. her hands curled into shaking fists as she tried to hold back the tears threatening to leave her eyes.

not now. not at this party. she silently pleaded with herself, her squared shoulders shaking. it took all her willpower to not let the dam break.

but one managed to escape her anyway.

—shit.

she was up on her feet fast and slipped away from the party as subtly as she could.

stumbling out of the party half-blind with tears wasn't exactly the best situation to remember about the cloak meant to keep her warm on an autumn night.

luckily, she didn't end up falling off the stairs she currently sat on.

autumn in liyue was typically not cold, but tonight seemed especially so.

she shivered to the chilly breeze brushing against her back. goosebumps crawled across her skin, particularly on the areas her dress failed to protect against the cold.

she couldn't quite bring herself to go back for the cloak. not with the mess she was now.

the sight of the round moon above wavered in her vision as tears quietly trailed down her cheeks.

under the vast, seemingly endless night sky, she felt small...

— her knees were drawn closer to her chest, curled fingers digging into her dress.

...and extremely powerless.

where is he? why can't she find him? is he even in teyvat? Is he even...still alive? does he even exist anymore?

—a dreading sense of hopelessness echoed in her heart and summoned another wave of tears wavering her vision.

under this wide, endless sky and its luminous moon, she felt alone, truly alone in the presence of the joyous cacophony of laughter and playful yells coming from the festival she left behind.

a nasty voice prompted by the noise taunted her — of how no one would notice, even if she were to walk right out of liyue harbor right now.

drowning in harsh, relentless thoughts, she failed to notice the gaze of a pair of wise, golden eyes on her back, soft with concern.

long legs covered the distance between them in a quiet, graceful stride; the gentle clacks of his loafers whenever their heels hit the ground slipped past her notice too.

not even when he climbed down the steps to settle himself next to her, a step above hers.

not even the inevitable proximity between their bodies caused by the short stairs spacious for one but narrow for two.

only until his coat was off his shoulders and wrapped around hers—

"why the tears on the mid-autumn festival?"

—she jolted with a sharp gasp, her widening eyes snapping over to him.

the calm and prodding gaze that met hers was accompanied by the tender brush of his thumb across her left cheek, right under her tearing eye before switching over to her other.

"zh-zhongli?"

she stayed stunned, unsure she was feeling so because someone noticed she had left or was it because of this simple gesture.

zhongli has always been a mentor-like figure to her. his words, his wise gazes, the comforting pets he occasionally gave on her head and back had always reminded her of how she was a mere child in his eyes.

but tonight...this, nothing about the gentleness his hand or his eyes emanate felt normal. or was she just delirious?

the strange stutter of her heart caused by the hand on her face, the blush heating up her cheeks made her tear her gaze away from his, flustered.

zhongli let his hand drop back onto his knee, but his eyes stayed.

crossing her arms to hold onto his coat sitting on her shoulders, she thought hard to recall his question.

"i can't help thinking about my brother, that's all." she looked back at him, smiling.

a smile he thought reminded him of the moon when it was not yet full — a quiet light melancholic with vague sadness.

"don't worry about me, i'll be fine." she slipped a glance over her shoulder in the direction of the festival. "you should go back there, zhongli, they need you. what's mid-autumn festival for liyue without you?"

she moved to remove the coat from her shoulders, but a hand wrapped around her wrist stopped her.

"but what's mid-autumn festival without you, my dear friend?"

zhongli regarded her intently, his eyes boring into hers for a second before shifting to focus on his coat.

there was something else in his eyes when they return to hers; it came and went in a flicker. "...keep this on, it's chilly today."

"thanks..." she murmured, her shoulders sinking as she yet again returned her thoughts to her brother.

"aether..." the pain she guarded showed on her face. "will i ever be able to see him again?"

tears started to well up in her eyes once again.

"i'm sorry, zhongli, i'm so sorry..." a quiet sob broke through, "today is supposed to be about the mid-autumn festival, and yet...here you are, listening to me."

zhongli's mouth opened then snapped close.

he always knew what to say whenever she was in a pinch. however, it was tears this time, and he wasn't exactly sure about what he should do about his body's urge to extend his arms out to her.

he was already more than a thousand years old.

as the former geo archon, he was the immovable rock. emotions and impulses he used to hold within himself in his younger days were buried deep under the sands of time...or at least they should be.

so where did this come from? was this strange stir an inevitable part of being a mortal?

"you know what?"

her movement to rise from the spot beside him turned his head back to her.

resolute hardened the glint in her tearing eyes, "i don't want to hold you back any longer,"

her fingers curled into a shaky fist, nails digging into her palm.

"....the people need you. i-i think i should just go bac—"

his hand flew out before he could think any further; his body was faster than his thoughts this time.

her next breath puffed out of her, in surprise and bewilderment as her body was tugged and cocooned by a breathing warmth before she could understand what happened.

and when she did, her eyes flew wide.

cheek pressed against his neck, she found herself held to his chest. she could feel his chin atop her head and his arms around her.

he was beside her a moment ago, and now he was behind sharing the same step as her, broad enough to accommodate them. was she the one who moved? or did he?

she didn't know how but she couldn't find the energy to care —the scent of musk and lingering tea engulfing her was an alluring comfort that made her want to stop trying.

so warm. really, really warm.

and so was his voice. "...but you need me." a hand caressed the back of her head.

there was a pause before a feigned cough ensued. "i meant, this."

[bcdwhcre]

“Fear,” Levi x Reader

Summary: where Levi’s partner is a normal citizen living behind wall Maria and he finds out it’s been overrun by Titans.

Warnings: noneeee just some angst for y’all

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Levi had been out on a expeditation and even then, he had barely came back in time before wall Maria had fallen. You stayed out there in your small cottage your family owned with some land and farm animals. You had met Levi through your father when he was helping Levi out with a project they were working on and your dad was one of the old scouts that had long retired but helped from inside the wall.

After your father passed away from old age, you had stepped in and helped Levi with the remaining ideas and plans your father handed down to you. You two became a good team and one thing led to another. You two never made anything official but it was an unspoken relationship that you two shared when he would come back and visit you, staying around for hours and even days until he would have to be gone for weeks at a time to lead his cadets.

You had accepted the weird relationship, you had accepted Levi for who he was inside and out, he did the same for you. He never had a problem going over to your district and spending as much time as he could, he actually loved to do it, it was peaceful and calm to spend time on such a quiet and open farm. The land you had was far from the main town but it was definitely worth the quiet and privacy.

Once the Titans had broke a hole in the wall and led more inside, you were in town shopping for food and it was bad place, bad timing. The sudden attack had you on edge and definitely worried for your life. At one point a piece of the wall had fallen just beside you and sent you flying from the blow, the wounds on your face made it hard to breathe or see anything from the blood pouring down over your eyes.

Levi had gotten word about the attack and he didn’t hesitate to make his way over to wall Maria, ignoring Commander Erwin when he tried to make him stay. His thoughts had landed on you, reaching your farm to see it empty and surprisingly in top shape which meant you were in town where the main attack was occurring and that made his anxiety worse.

He flew through the town, watching the Titans walk around and pick up citizens, tearing their limbs apart as they screamed and pleaded for their life. He wish he was more concerned and willingly to help the citizens but he would admit that he didn’t care and he only wanted you.

It had taken a while, running around and searching and searching until his eyes had landed on you, you were in a empty alleyway, unconscious and covered in blood. He noticed that a Titan had actually noticed your body and was headed your way, even picking your body up before Levi had gotten there.

He screamed, louder than he should have but the frustration he was feeling, the hatred he felt towards the Titans was so intense that he had murdered the beast and even did a slight overkill to satisfy his needs before running to where you laid.

“Y/N? Can you hear me? Y/N?” He had repeated your name, grabbing a hold of your face and gently patting it but you stayed completely still.

For a moment Levi was convinced you were dead from the amount of blood you were covered in. His eyebrows knitted together, the rage boiling inside of him was screaming to be let out and dealt with. He wanted to go out there and murder every single one of those bastards that stepped inside the walls.

But deep down he was terrified, like the scared little boy he was when he was almost of the edge of death, starving and staying inside the same room as his dead mother. He was frozen in place, his arms holding you tightly as the tears started to sting his eyes before slipping down his cheeks that had spots of blood on them.

His shaky hand had reached down to your neck, trying to feel for a pulse and at first he couldn’t find one and that made his heart almost rip out of his chest from pounding so hard until his fingers finally felt your heartbeat, it was barely there and that had given him enough confidence to finally get off his feet and use his gear to get to safety behind the next wall.

His legs ran once he made it over, going straight to the base he had stayed at for the time being and burst through the doors like a maniac, making all the scouts turn to look at him then down at your limp body in his arms.

“There’s a heartbeat, please just help,” this was the first time Levi was pleading, he would never do so unless it was an extreme emergency and it was, you were the extreme emergency.

It had been hours, hours of you being unconscious on the bed, stitched and wrapped up perfectly fine. Levi sat by your bed, he refused to leave until you opened your eyes and the cadets were actually scared, they never seen their Captain like this, this upset, this quiet and this scared to lose someone.

Levi had never spoken about you to anyone so them seeing him in a state where he is genuinely concerned for your well being- it was shocking to the others and they left him alone for almost a day until they realized he wasn’t eating or sleeping, he couldn’t anyway, even if he wanted to.

“I brought you some coffee and breakfast, I know you said you aren’t hungry but I really need you to eat.” Hange stepped inside the room, her eyes full of pain seeing Levi this way and she glanced over at you as you slept.

She left the tray on the table, leaving once Levi didn’t bother to speak or even look at her. She knew he was in pain, he just wasn’t comfortable to speak up about it right now, not when you’re like this. His eyes trained on your body, he would admit you looked peaceful as you slept. You were still beautiful in this condition and that had made his heart hurt more.

He was afraid you would never wake up.

Finally later that day, you had stirred in the bed and that had caught Levi’s attention rather quickly. He watched your hand twitch, your fingers moving until finally your eyes had opened up then closing again from the bright light that blinded you.

A groan had left your lips, the sudden pain all rushing to your head and you opened your eyes again, looking around and your eyes landed on Levi’s.

“Hey.. Y/N..” He smiled at you, leaning over on the bed and taking your hand in his, gently squeezing it.

He released a long breath that he didn’t realize he was holding in until you woke up. All his worries had slipped away, the relief washing over him like a cold shower after a hot day. He had never been happier to see your pair of eyes until today. Of course he was always happy to see you but today.. it was different.

“Levi? What happened, what are you doing here?” You had rambled, feeling his fingers trace over the top of your hand and you relaxed, staying back against the pillows.

“Titans destroyed wall Maria, you were in the middle of it. You’re at the scouts base, for now at least.” He mumbled, the bags under his eyes evident and the tears began to sting his eyes again.

He stared at you, he felt like if he blinked- you would be gone in an instant and he couldn’t handle losing you. He had moved his hands up, caressing your cheek and stroking it with the pad of his thumb, a tear managing to slip from his eye, sliding down his cheek and you sighed, wiping the tear away.

“Hey, don’t cry, come here.” You scoot over on your bed, ignoring the pain you felt shooting through you body and pat the spot beside you.

Levi was hesitant but they were both alone and you were alive and well so he moved to lay beside you on the bed, laying on his side and facing you. His arm gently snaked around your waist and pulled your body close to his, afraid of letting go.

“I’m alive because of you, Levi.” You muttered, your eyes staying on his and your hand reaching up to brush his hair back from his face.

“I can’t stop thinking about... if I was a minute late, you would’ve been a Titans dinner.” You cracked a smile, rolling your eyes, typical Levi you thought to yourself.

“I think I would make a good meal but..” You made a smile creep on his lips, his turn to roll his eyes at your dumb joke.

“Not funny.” He whispered, getting comfortable and laying his head on your shoulder with his face buried in the crook of your neck, taking in your scent and he felt like he was in heaven, you were his heaven.

His eyes had fluttered closed, taking the moment in incase it gets ripped away. His endless thoughts always went back to what if you actually gotten eaten? How would he live on without you? A sigh slipped from his parted lips, the sadness taking over again until your lips were on his head, giving him a reassuring kiss while your small arms slipped around him, hugging his body tightly.

“I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” You whispered, causing him to grunt in response and you smile at his clinginess as he gripped onto you tighter.

“Better not.”

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• Main Masterlist •

• AOT Masterlist •

[writingtoforgetreality]

New World Order - TFATWS Rewrite Chapter One (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

[Marvel-Masterlist], [TFATWS Rewrite-Masterlist]

Next Chapter

Summary: You were an Avenger. That was how the world viewed you. Nobody else knew about your past & it was for the better. After all, you had Sam. You had Bucky. That had to be enough. At least for now.

Words: 6,214

Warnings: language, sarcasm, expect some sort of slow burn, there are hints already, this is a Bucky fic, which means that it'll focus on his scenes more, spoilers for TFATWS, (Y/E/C) = your eye color

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

You were no superhero. At least, you would never say you were one. Your past was filled with actions you regretted. None of it was your fault. It was not your decision to be the child of the leader of a HYDRA base. It was not your decision to grow up like a warrior. Fighting. Killing.

Your father was the bad guy. You knew that now. As a child, you did not see through his facade. How could you? He was your dad. Someone who was supposed to love you endlessly. Those years had shaped you. Into the person you were today.

Deep down, you wished there was a way to make you forget. Forget about your past. Forget about the pain. Forget about it all. Hell, you were a laboratory experiment. Those powers did not come from nowhere. No. They came from tons of needles, pumping a toxic serum into you veins. You should not even be alive anymore. Not by what now flowed through your body. Apparently, it was for your own good. That was how your dad put it. Absolute bullshit. Growing up isolated from the world, being trained to fight, to kill, daily. Your own good my ass. If it did one thing, then it ruined your damn life.

But at least you had powers, right? Blue flames you could control. Those blue flames that were hotter than anything else in this world. It took an awful lot of time to fully have control. Truthfully, you hated that part of you with every fiber of your being. It had been the cause of one too many deaths. You had been the cause. But weakness was not in your nature. If you did not show strength you would be a disappointment. Something you really did not want to be.

Bucky was the reason you got out of this life. He was the one to rescue you out of this hell hole. He was the one to show you an entirely different part of this world. And for that, you could never thank him enough. If it were not for Bucky, you would have gone insane ages ago. Who knew if you were still here today?

The Avengers were aware of your past. Of you being a part of HYDRA back in the days. Yet, you had never elaborated this any further. If there was one thing you were good at, it was keeping things to yourself. No need to burden others with your struggles. And you did struggle. Every single day. Because your mind was filled with memories. Memories you had tried to burn. Memories you wanted to erase. Memories of you being the bad guy. Just like your dad had been.

Your life changed when you were introduced to the Avengers. They did not trust you. Not right away. But during the fight with Thanos, the one after the Blip, you proved yourself to be worthy of their trust. Especially Steve. He had been there for you. When everyone else failed to believe in you. He was gone now. And it hurt like hell. Giving up was never an option. And the universe did not plan on giving you a break anytime soon. For now, you had to bury your feelings as deep as possible. Your focus should solely be on the new threats of this world. Threats, that seemed to increase daily.

“Bucky is an asshole.” you were on the phone with Sam & the fact that the super soldier had been ignoring him for a while did not leave a good feeling inside his chest.

“What a revelation.” sarcastic comments were part of your life. It was your way of coping with everything. Frankly, it worked. More or less. “Give him some time.”

“More time? No.” sighing loudly. “I have other things to focus on.” he was referring to the mission he was about to perform.

“You sure you’ll be fine on your own?” it was not like you did not believe in his abilities. Just, life had not been the same ever since billions of people came back.

“When have I ever not been?” you could think of a few times but Sam ended the call before you even had the chance to answer. Typical.

Luckily, Sam usually told you about his missions. And you were proud of him. You really were. The situation you found yourself in? With Bucky & him? Well, it was everything but good. Bucky called you. You called Sam. Sam called you. You called Bucky. A circle you kept alive. And it sucked to be their only way of communication. For now, though, both of them were too stubborn to change anything about it.

“Enjoying the Tunisian sun I hope?” whenever Sam went on a mission, you had him call you after it. Simply because he knew you worried.

“You know it.” in the far background you could hear him working on something.

“Is everyone alright? That trainee of yours? What’s his name again?”

“Torres.” he sighed, frustrated by your question. You had asked him about a million times & apparently, you still had no clue. Truth was, you just liked messing with him. “Redwing is hurt.”

“Naaaw, poor baby.” giggling slightly. That man cared more for a piece of tech than he should.

“Shut up.” okay, better not mess with Wilson if it came to Redwing. Got it.

“When are you coming back?” your voice turned serious again. Having him gone for so long did not stick right with you. Obviously, you knew he was doing it for the greater good. But still. “I swear to all the Gods, if you say when we’re done here…” mumbling quietly but loud enough for him to hear.

“When we’re finished here.” a chuckle could be heard from his side. By the way it sounded, you assumed Torres was laughing as well. Rolling your eyes at his antics. He could be such a child sometimes.

“Oh, fuck off, Wilson.”

“Hey, language!” Sam had fun. Yeah, you were the one cracking jokes all of the time but he could deliver, too.

“Okay, you know what? Bye. Text me when you’re back.” now, it was you who did not give him enough time to respond. After all, he would have clapped back with another snarky remark & you were not in the mood for it. At all.

“Steve represented the best in all of us. Courageous, righteous, hopeful. And he mastered posing stoically.” everyone chuckled at Sam’s description. Of him. Steve. Rhodey was standing right next to you. In that suit of his. The one that made him look way more approachable than you. No need for people to approach you. They did not know who you were before. And they sure as hell did not need to. It would turn things complicated. Humans did not like complicated. You did not like it. “The world has been forever changed. A few months ago, billions of people reappeared after five years away, sending the world into turmoil. We need new heroes. Ones suited for the times we’re in. Symbols are nothing without the women & men that give them meaning. And this thing…” he paused briefly, let out a short chuckle. The shield. “I don’t know if there’s ever been a greater symbol. But it’s more about the man who propped it up, & he’s gone. So, today we honor Steve’s legacy. But also, we look to the future. So, thank you, Captain America. But this belongs to you.” the crowd erupted into cheers. Applause was filling the room & you felt out of place. What was he doing? When Sam asked you to join him here today, he left out the fact that he wanted to give away the shield. The shield Steve had trusted him enough to own. And the people surrounding you? They…celebrated him for it? This entire speech was proof enough that Wilson was worthy of this job. So why the hell did he make that decision? Watching the shield being put into the showcase, you could hardly hold in the tears that formed at the corners of your (Y/E/C) eyes. Rhodey nudged you, sensing that something was wrong. Head hanging low, you ignored him, walking out of the room as fast as possible. If you stayed here any longer, Sam would have bruises for sure. Bruises caused by you. You would not risk that. Though, he kind of deserved it.

“Where’s (Y/N)?” Sam asked Rhodey when he finished with the press. You had told him you would wait here for him. There was no sign of you.

“Left a while ago.”

“What do you mean “Left a while ago.”? Did she say where she was heading?” why did you decide to leave? Had anything happened while he held his speech? All Rhodey could do was shrug. An explanation was not given by you. And he knew better than to ask.

“Take a walk?” Rhodey suggested, completely unaware to your weird behavior. The two of you were not that close. So he did not know you like Sam did. You were an adult, after all. If you wanted to go somewhere without asking someone first, then you were allowed to do that.

Disappointment was flooding through your body. Friends told each other stuff like that, right? So why did he keep it a secret that he planned on giving away the shield. With that action, he broke Steve’s trust & you were livid. If only Steve were here right now. You missed him. So much. Next time Sam met you, you could not promise anything. Because anger was all you felt. Anger & disappointment. Grief. But that one you could keep to yourself. At least for the time being. Shit. Bucky. One hundred percent did he watch Sam giving away the shield. Oh, he would be filled with hatred. Compared to that, you were only a small threat. Bucky was the one Wilson should keep an eye on. Well, he had been trying to get a hold of him. So far, without luck.

A gunshot blasting woke Bucky up from another night invaded by nightmares. His changed hair did not put his demons at bay. His look was different but there were some things he could never get rid of. His past. The past he dreaded as much as you did. Probably what you two had in common. Being part of HYDRA & all. His breathing was irregular & there was no way in hell he could go back to sleep. It was in the middle of the night & he hated himself for relying on someone else. But he would go insane if he did not call another person right now. If he did not call you. The only one who seemed to understand what he was going through. The only one who never judged him because of his nightmares. The only one who made him feel like he was a good person. Not the killer he once had been. When HYDRA controlled him. Back, when he was called “The Winter Soldier”. Would he ever move on from that? Grabbing his old phone, he did not overthink too long & dialed your number. One, he knew by heart. Because he had called you so many times. It stuck in his head.

“Buck? Is everything alright?” concern was present in your voice. Usually, when you got a call in the middle of the night, it was him. And you were fine with it. If he trusted you enough to help him with his demons, than you were more than happy to come to his aid. No matter the time.

“I-I…it’s just, ugh, I-“ still shaken up from his nightmare, you did not need him to finish his sentence. You had been in this exact situation so many times. You knew what he needed. Your presence. Your voice. Your comfort. You.

“I’ll be there in a few.” assuring him, you were already grabbing the stuff you needed & walked out of your apartment. Only one destination in mind. Him. “Do you need me to stay on the phone?” it was a simple question. A stupid one, too. Usually, he would not say a word until you were with him. But it felt right to ask him what he wanted you to do. Needed you to do. When he did not answer for a few moments, you guessed he only nodded, not realizing that you could not see his motions. Yet, he did not hang up. Neither did you. Your breathing was enough for him. At least until you were in his apartment.

Knocking softly, as to not wake his neighbors, the door opened almost immediately after. Squeaking ever so slightly. Taking in his appearance, you could tell that it had been a bad nightmare. No, not a nightmare. A memory. You knew that because it was the reason you woke up most nights as well. If it were not for him feeling miserable, you would have drooled by the sight of him. No shirt. Hair sticking around so beautifully. Eyes you could lose yourself in. But it was not the right timing. Besides, Bucky & you were just friends. That was it. Just friends. Though, you would lie if you said that you did not feel butterflies whenever he shot you one of his charming smiles. Whenever his body brushed against yours on accident. Yes, he did have that effect on you. Hell, that was not what he needed right now. Your feelings could be dealt with later on. Bucky was all who mattered now. There was no conversation. No words exchanged. It was enough for him if you were with him. A sign that he was not alone. That he still had you. Even after everything. Even after calling you, night after night, disturbing your own rest. Not that you got much to begin with but he did not need to know that. It had always been a mystery to him. Why you stuck around still. Though you had assured him thousands of times that you were in this for good. If he needed you, you were only one call away. And he appreciated you for it. More than he would ever like to admit. Friends. You were friends.

“So, Mr. Barnes, are you still having nightmares?” another session with Dr. Raynor. Another dreaded session. It was stupid to Bucky. But there was no way out of this. He had to. Seconds of silence went by before she spoke up again. “James, I asked you a question. Are you still having nightmares?” what kind of question was that? A stupid one. That was for sure.

“No.” simple, short. Sufficient. Not for his doctor, though.

“We’ve been doing this long enough that I can tell when you’re lying. Well, you seem a little off today. Did something happen recently?”

“No.” what an answer to move this session forward. Clearly, he was not in the mood to talk today. Not even you were able to get his mind off of things. Though, you definitely made his night easier.

“You’re a civilian now. With your history, the government needs to know that you’re not gonna…” her hand motioned stabbing. Awful action but who were you to judge? Bucky nodded with that look on his face that showed how completely done he was with this situation. Yet, she kept going. “It’s a condition of your pardon. So, tell me about your most recent nightmare.”

“I didn’t have a nightmare.” well, it was worth a try. After taking a deep breath, she grabbed the pencil, ready to start writing into that notebook of hers again. “Oh, come on. Really? You’re gonna do the notebook thing? Why? It’s passive aggressive.” looked like the two of them were going back to the roots.

“You don’t talk. I write.” Bucky sighed at that. He knew he would not get out of this.

“Okay. Okay. I crossed a name off the list of my amends yesterday. Don’t worry. I used all your three rules. Senator Atwood. She was a HYDRA pawn for years. Helped her get into office when I was the Winter Soldier. And after HYDRA disbanded, she continued to abuse the power I gave her.”

“So, rule number one, you can’t do anything illegal.”

“All I did was give some intel to the aide to convict her. And I wasn’t involved in anything else.”

“Rule number two?”

“What was rule number two?” his gaze drifting off, showing he thought about it deeply. How ironic.

“Nobody gets hurt. It’s a big one.”

“Then why isn’t it rule number one?” he did have a point there. No room left for arguing about that. “I didn’t hurt anybody. I promise.”

“And what about rule number three?” Bucky’s mouth opened, yet, nothing came out. “The whole point of making amends is to fulfil rule number three.”

“You know, you’re a cynic, Doc. Of course, I completed rule number three. I am James Bucky Barnes & you’re part of my efforts to make amends.” words followed by that smile of his. That smile everyone could tell was fake. Almost creepy. But efforts, right? It was all about the efforts.

“So, you did it all right, but it didn’t help with the nightmares.”

“Well, like I said, I didn’t have any.” Bucky Barnes, everyone. Still trying to fool his doctor.

“Look, one day, you’re gonna have to open up & understand that some people really do want to help you & that they can be trusted. People like (Y/N).” the mention of your name made his eyes snap up.

“I trust more people than her.” it sounded more like he tried to convince himself more than anyone else.

“Yeah? Give me your phone.” an order. Grabbing it out of his pocket to hand it over. A short look was enough. “You don’t have ten phone numbers on this thing. Oh, & you’ve been ignoring the texts from Sam. Look, you gotta nurture friendships. I am the only person you have called all week. That is so sad…Oh, that’s not right. You called (Y/N) last night. Anything you wanna tell me about that?” closing the flip phone, she threw it over to Bucky which he caught with ease.

“What? Do I need to justify calling a friend?” chuckling & shaking his head slightly, he brushed his hands over his thighs.

“If you call that friend at 3 am, then yes. Because you should sleep at that time. Except if you had a nightmare which you claimed that you didn’t.”

“We just talked. That’s all.” he thought that brushing it off as if it were nothing was enough to get her to shut up. Hell, he had brought you up during his sessions way too many times. After all, he still wanted the situation between you guys to be subtle.

“You’re alone.”

“A minute ago, you said I had (Y/N).” he tried arguing but his attempts failed.

“You’re a hundred years old. You have no history, no family…” right, pouring salt in the wounds. That usually worked.

“Are you lashing out at me, Doc? Because that’s really unprofessional, you know? When did that start? Yelling at your clients?” she seemed to have enough & again went for the little book next to her. “Oh, the notebook. That’s great.” sighing deeply, he braced himself to take her more seriously. “All right, give me a break. I’m trying, okay? This isn’t…This is new for me. I didn’t have a moment to deal with anything, you know? I had a little…calm in Wakanda. And other than that, I just went from one fight to another for 90 years.”

“So, now that you’ve stopped fighting, what do you want?” he had an answer in mind right away. Never ever would he say it out loud. It took him a second to reply. Because what he was about to say came in union with his first thought.

“Peace.”

“That is utter bullshit.” what a nice way to bad talk his answer. Maybe she was expecting something else from him. Maybe she knew the answer just as much as he did. The real answer.

“You’re a terrible shrink.”

“I was an excellent soldier, so I saw a lot of dead bodies, & I know how that can shut you down. And if you are alone…”

“Which I’m not because I have (Y/N).”

“…that is the quietest, most personal hell. And, James, it is very hard to escape. Look, I know that you have been through a lot, but you’ve got your mind back, you are being pardoned. I mean, these are good things. You’re free.”

“To do what?”

Wednesday. Bucky usually went to Izzy. Today, he asked you to join him & Yori. Why he wanted you there with them? No clue. But it was not often he asked you to go somewhere with him so you agreed on meeting them there.

“Take a look.” Yori was a cute, old man. Reading his newspaper like a good citizen. Bucky had yet to give you an explanation as to why you were here right now. But for now, you just sat next to him, quietly observing your surroundings. “Nobody made it past 90 this week.” it was funny, to see Bucky trying his hardest to sound interested. Like he understood.

“So young. Such a shame.” his words made you scoff. Apparently, once you hit the 100 mark, you turn into a sarcastic piece. If you were not one before. If you ever made it to 100? Only the Gods knew what would come after that. Most people called you a sarcastic asshole now. Could that be topped?

“You guys didn’t order the usual, huh? Feeling a little adventurous?” the woman behind the counter directed her words at the three of you.

“Um, actually, I’ve never been here before, so…” you chuckled to avoid the awkwardness that would sure as hell build if you kept quiet now.

“You should ask her out.” Yori leaned over to Bucky & you almost choked on your food at his words. Bucky asking her out? Her? Yeah, she was beautiful & all. But her? Really? Seemed like that Yori dude did not know Bucky as well as he claimed to. You, on the other hand, were aware that nothing good would come out if it. Besides, they would not even make a nice couple. Shit, were you jealous? Oh no. Glancing over at the man next to you, his face showed just how much he despised this idea. At least something.

“Mm-mmm…” shaking his head frantically, he shot you a quick look but before his eyes locked onto yours, your gaze fell down to your plate. Slightly embarrassed. Scared that, if he looked at you, he would notice something behind your look. Something more. Something, that you wanted to keep hidden. For everyone’s sake.

“He would like to take you out on a date.” oh fuck off, Yori. You had nothing against this man but he was pushing your buttons. Could he not see that Bucky was incredibly uncomfortable with the idea of going on a date? With her? “Maybe to bingo or a night of pinochle.” hiding your laugh behind one of your hands, you could not believe that he was serious. Bucky & bingo? Well, it was for old people so you guessed it fit quite well. Not with her, though. Oh no, you really were jealous.

“I’m really sorry about him.” Bucky apologized for his friend’s behavior. Yes, you were sorry for him, too.

“Why are you sorry?” of course, now the woman was flirting with him. It got better & better. Taking a deep breath, you tried to keep your emotions at bay. You could not lash out in the middle of this restaurant, after all. Even though you were this close to doing just that. Deep breaths, you got this. “I’m game.” sure she was.

“Wow.” really? Bucky was impressed? By this? Oh come on, why would he settle for less when he could have so, so much more. But it was not your decision. He was not yours. You did not own him. Neither did you make the decisions for him.

“Tomorrow night, then?” Yori leaned over the counter.

“Tomorrow night’s great.” she replied with a bright smile.

“Hey, I just remembered something.” you spoke up all of a sudden. Bucky’s eyes met yours now & he saw that you were uncomfortable. Though, he could not pinpoint why. “Um, I-I need to go. See you, Buck. Bye guys.” sprinting out of the restaurant, you hoped nobody would follow you. Not in the mood to deal with anyone right now. All you wanted was to be alone right now. Your mind the only one keeping you company. But your mind was not really the kindest to you. Not in this particular moment. So what? Bucky had a date. You knew that would happen sooner or later. He was a good looking man. More importantly, you just wanted him to be happy. Genuinely happy.

Fucking great. Who could you talk to? You still were not done being mad at Sam. And now you were mad at Bucky for something he did not even do. He sort of did. He could have said no. If he really did not want to, he could have said no. Bucky was enough of a man to speak his mind, you knew that. Maybe he did want to go on a date with her. What was her name again? Not that you cared too much. But still. Blinking away the tears that had formed at the corners of your eyes, you kept on walking. Without a real destination. You were stupid. Friends. Why could you not accept this? Usually, you would call Steve in such a situation. Or even Tony. But it was too late now. They were not here anymore. You had to deal with that sooner or later. Whether you liked it or not. Contemplating calling Sam, you eyed your phone carefully. One more button. But nope. The anger was bigger than the need to talk to someone. Stubborn you. Wilson could make you feel better. But you would most likely end up yelling at him. And you knew you would regret your words later on. So might as well stay silent for the time being. Until you calmed down enough.

It was 10 pm. Date time for Bucky. That same restaurant. Being the gentleman that we was, he even brought her flowers. Like it used to be back in the 40s.

“Well, if that’s not the most adorably old-fashioned thing anyone’s ever done.” Bucky felt lost. In her company. “Grab a seat, I’ll be done in a few.”

“Okay.” he could up & leave. It would not be too late. All he knew was that it felt wrong.

“So, have you dated much since half the fish in the sea came back?”

“Not really. I, um…tried the whole online dating thing. (Y/N), the girl who was here with me yesterday, she set up a profile for me because I didn’t understand a single thing.” laughing at the memory, he thought back to when he called you to ask you for a favor. How you laughed at him for wanting to try this whole bullshit. “It’s pretty crazy. A lot of weird pictures.”

“What kind of weird?”

“I mean, tiger photos? Half the time I don’t even know what I’m looking at. It’s…It’s a lot. When I showed (Y/N), she simply said that this was what I signed up for.”

“You sound like my dad.” definitely something a man did not want to hear while on a date. On the other hand, he did not even want this to be a date. “Wait. How old are you?

“A hundred & six.” only he could make it sound so casually. Like it was the most normal thing on this planet. Both laughed at his words. Simply because it was so absurd.

“What’s up with your big gloves?” a sensitive topic she just touched.

“I, um, have, uh…poor circulation.” sure thing.

“Hmm…Hey, what is it about this (Y/N) girl & you?” his eyes widened at her question. What was she getting at?

“She’s my friend. Why?” his dumbfounded expression made her chuckle.

“A friend, huh?”

“Um, yeah.”

“You sure about that?” an eyebrow raised. A questioning stare was sent his way.

“Why does everyone think I don’t have friends?” throwing his head back in frustration, he let out a long sigh.

“It’s not that.” she stopped briefly, thinking about her next words carefully. “Just, you guys seem pretty close.”

“Well, we’ve known each other for years.” he reasoned, gesturing with his hands to bring his point across.

“Yeah? And the looks you’re shooting each other when the other one’s not looking?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You two aren’t really subtle about this, you know?” she wiped the counter & did not even look at Bucky. He, on the other hand, started sweating.

“Subtle about what?”

“Oh, come on. Who are you kidding? I don’t even know why you’re here right now.”

“Because Yori set you & me up on a date.”

“And why did you agree?” she crossed her arms over her chest, waiting for an explanation from the man in front of her.

“I-I don’t know.” he responded truthfully. Because he thought it to be polite? Because Yori was the one who suggested it? Honestly, he was not sure.

“That’s what I thought. Look, you’re a nice guy & all but…just, listen to your heart from time to time. It’s late. You should head out. See you.” she turned around & walked further into the restaurant. Leaving Bucky alone with his thoughts. It was clear what she intended. Did not mean that it made this entire situation any easier. Bucky left without another word. Fresh air would help him think straight.

Your phone rang & you sighed when you checked who decided to annoy you. Bucky. Of course. But wait. Should he not be on his date right now? Did something go wrong? Not that you wanted it to but if you were entirely honest, you would not be mad about it either.

“Hi Buck. What’s up?”

“I need your help with something.” there was no hesitation in his voice. Just him being straight forward.

“Please don’t tell me you need help on how to get the girl.” it was your way to lighten the mood. You did that because you could tell that he was incredibly serious. Usually, this was never a good sign.

“Can I send you an address? Can you meet me there as soon as possible?” his voice was low, deep.

“Um, sure thing. But just to set things clear…I won’t join in on your fun, Buck. That’s between you & her.” again, sarcasm was your way of coping with emotions. Though, it was not the right time to use it right now. His next words were proof enough. You should not mess with him. Not in this moment.

“Can you be serious for a second?” he raised his voice a little. It was not much but it was enough to leave you confused. Bucky was not the person to yell at you. Especially not like this.

“I’m sorry…Um, yeah, tell me where & I’ll get there as fast as I can.” gulping down, you waited for him to give you more information.

Arriving at an unfamiliar building, you could make out Bucky’s form in front of it. Why would he want to meet you here? Where was his date?

“Buck?” your voice barely above a whisper. The night sky only illuminated by the moon that shone brightly. Providing just a tiny bit of light. Enough, to let you notice your surroundings.

“Thanks for coming.” you could tell that he was stressed, tough, you were not sure why.

“Is everything alright? Because I swear, if that woman did anyth-“

“No, she didn’t. Promise.” his warm smile was encouraging enough. It was clear that he was not lying to you. “Just…didn’t work out. But that’s not why you’re here.”

“Okay?”

“My last nightmare. Do you remember?” nodding for him to continue. “How I killed that innocent man?”

“It wasn’t you, Buck. You were being controlled.” touching his shoulder softly, squeezing it to reassure him.

“Whatever…That guy, it was Yori’s son. I want to, need to, apologize. Even though the apology comes way too late.” you nodded at him, your eyes meeting his briefly. Now you knew why he called you. He did not want to do this alone. No. He wanted you by his side. To support him through it. Entering the building together, Bucky led you to the apartment Yori lived in. His hand raised to knock on the door. Surprisingly, he did not waste any time. He wanted to get this over with. Understandingly so. No words were exchanged. You being here, with him, that was more than enough.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” Yori opened the door, his face showed confusion by the appearance of you two. “How was the date?” you could not help but roll your eyes at the old man in front of you. Looking at Bucky, you were worried when you saw him having an internal conversation with himself. Mouth opening & closing again. No words coming out. Risking a look inside the apartment, you noticed a small picture frame with who you assumed to be his son. The one Bucky killed. No. The one the Winter Soldier killed.

“It was…It was good.” Bucky mumbled.

“Bullshit.” you followed after. None of them heard you, though. Luckily.

“Forgot I owed you for lunch.” Bucky handed him money. If you were not mistaken, this was not a form of apologizing. He had a hard time, though, that much was obvious. Afterwards, Bucky turned around & walked away without another word. Which left you alone with a confused looking Yori.

“I’m sorry for the disturbance, sir. Have a good night.” plastering on the sweetest smile you could offer, you followed Bucky outside. Jogging to keep up with the super soldier.

Back outside, you saw Bucky holding his little notebook in his hands. You knew about it. Because you were the only person he talked to when it came to his therapy sessions. A look over his shoulder could tell that his eyes were trained on the name being circled. His body was tense. That was not what he planned.

“It’s okay, Bucky.” your hand stroked over his lower back in a comforting way. Your forehead rested against his shoulder, hoping, that it would ease him a little. You could feel him calm down at your touch. “Give yourself some time.” you mumbled quietly, knowing he could hear you clearly due to the calm night. You just hoped that he would not beat himself up too much. Not more than he already did.

You were back in your own apartment. Still no words from Sam. But that was nothing new. Sometimes, he would go radio silent for a few days but after that, he would always check in with you. Maybe he figured that you were mad at him. For giving away the shield & all. And he probably was busy with work. The work he did with Torres. If he needed your help, he would call you for sure. Your TV got your attention again. Something told you to watch closely. So you did.

“Unrest, in the wake of recent events, has left us vulnerable. Every day Americans feel it. While we love heroes who put their lives on the line to defend Earth, we also need a hero to defend this country. We need a real person who embodies America’s greatest values. We need someone to inspire us again, someone who can be a symbol for all of us. So, on behalf of the Department of Defense & our Commander-in-Chief, it is with great honor that we announce here today that the United States of America has a new hero. Join me in welcoming your new Captain America.” the crowd cheered loudly & someone walked through the door. You could not believe what was happening. Please, this had to be a bad dream. When would you wake up form this hell? A man, wearing his suit, holding his shield, greeted the people. Looking at your hands, you could see small, blue sparks forming at the tips of your fingers. That only ever happened when you had no control over your emotions. Right now, you were everything but in control. Of course he had to wink at the camera like the sick person he was.

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me…” breathing out lowly, you put your head into your hands, completely ignoring the sparks there. You did not feel them anyway. If you ever met this son of a bitch it would not end well for him. And the next time you would meet Wilson? Fingers crossed he could deal with your angry & disappointed self. Because you were seething.

~to be continued~

Next Chapter

Published (04/02/2021) by Cathy

Tags: @taina-eny​, @tanyaherondale​, @cool-ultra-nerd​, @toribentleyva, @buckyandlokirunmylife​, @annadier​, @howlongtillidie​, @mizz-kraziii, @theetherealbloom​, @millenniumloki​, @marvelbros-oneshots​, @ajbwasnthere, @bilesxbilinskixlahey​, @mystictimetravelcolor​, @dbrees256​, @sxpxrnxturxl, @dreamydreamerwriting​, @dolllstyles​, @angelicastiel​, @prettysbliss, @infinitelyforgotten​, @sweetserendipity65​, @lilystilinskicullen​, @partypoisonsblog, @btdsprayberry, @sarai-ibn-la-ahad​, @deamus-liv​, @simplybarnes​, @sethcohenluvr (let me know if you wanna be tagged <3)