#is because she's too depressed to do it herself. And they both know. thankfully for obito this knowledge just makes Itachi MORE depressed

[tora-the-cat]

Itachi quietly and distantly absolutely fucking LOATHING Obito and Obito SWEATING over it but trying to laugh it off is just. such an underrated dynamic

[the-ultimate-puppeteer]

Could you do Chihiro x depressed reader that's really into exercise cause that's there relief outlet and I picture them training Chihiro. If not Chihiro then Ibuki please?

Ibuki and Chihiro with a depressed S/O who uses exercise as an outlet

Chihiro fujisaki

•Was a little concerned when he found out that you suffered from depression, but was glad you had an outlet for relief from it

•He actually wants you to include him in your workout routine

•Partially because he wants to get fit but mostly because he wants to spend more time with you

•It's when he starts working out with you that he gets a bit concerned about you overdoing it

•Sometimes you have a habit of of exercising too much and not taking long enough breaks

•So thankfully chihiro also acts as your breaks so that you don't end up Injuring yourself

•So this new routine in your relationship ends up helping out both of you greatly and you both end up healthier and with a new sense of confidence

Ibuki mioda

•Oh yeah, she's probably one of the best girls for you to date

•If you already didn’t know ibuki is already an exercise nut

•Except she didn't consider it exercise,she was just burning off energy

•Well that and she's looking for fun things to do, so she decided to include herself in your exercise routine

•Honestly she just wanted to spend more time with you so she decided she join(takeover) your routine

• So now you have the living embodiment of energy dragging you out on walks with her

•Sometimes you even go put and wander around town with her

•Though this actually works out since you have an excellent sense of direction so she no longer gets lost

•Or sometimes you go around climbing on random objects that look cool or strange. You've long since learned not to question ibuki's logic

•And throughout this you've got to keep an eye on your girlfriend cause she really likes to wander off

•Also to No one's surprise she has more energy than you thought she's really good at telling when you hit your limit and will force you to go home and rest

•Doesn't matter how much you like to exercise she's not letting you overwork yourself

•Really even if this did have downsides, the upsides outweigh them, so be thankful for having such an amazing girlfriend

[goldenmagnolias]

Lost in the labyrinth of my mind

Pairing: OC High Lord of Dusk x Archeron!Sister

Summary: Reverie Archeron has always been different. Different in a good or bad way depends on who you asked. Now a High Fae, and with another war approaching she tries to be as helpful as she can around Velaris and with her baby nephew, but at a High Lord meeting, the countless dreams she has as a child and the feelings that are not quite hers suddenly make sense and things become something that she never could have seen coming.

Warnings: I do mention some melancholic feelings that some can link to depression and I do intend on portraying that alongside with other mental health issues (not only in the MMC and FMC but on other characters). It will be a more thorough conversation in the future, and whenever they will be present I will place them in the warnings, but for now that’s all ☺️

Masterlist // ao3

CHAPTER I: BY NIGHTFALL

Velaris was beautiful.

Reverie Archeron thinks it doesn’t matter how long passes she will always find the city breathtaking. More often than she allows herself, she’s wonder what would have been like to grow up in the bustling and colorful streets. How joyful things probably would have been.

But she didn’t, thankfully Nyx will grow up roaming through the streets and the shops, with a house big enough for the whole family to have their rooms and then some spare ones. A warm fireplace on cold days alongside warm wool blankets. Food for whenever he feels hungry. And love.

Love of a mother and a father. Love from his aunts and uncles.

Feyre is giving her son the childhood they dreamed about.

Life in the mortal lands was never easy. Specially with Father acting the way he did. Most times things would be harder than usual.

Feyre would go out in the woods to hunt. And Reverie would scrub floors, and cook full meals on a empty stomach for a few measly pennies so she could buy the bare minimum to keep them alive.

If that version of her could se herself now she would probably cry.

For yes, she technically had died. She had been thrown into the cauldron and it’s water she had been taken apart and remade.

Into High Fae.

The slender and statuesque people that she didn’t fit in with, or didn’t feel like she did. She barely saw herself in the reflection when she looked at the mirror. Because the Calderon had left it’s mark on her sisters by giving them magic. In her case, it stole her coloring. Her hair became as white as snow. Like the light brown had been a watercolor her whole life and the second the water took ahold of it. It completely vanished.

And she would probably also cry over the fact she didn’t have to count money, and overwork herself, that they had a warm fireplace, a family overflowing with care and love. A bedroom all for herself, a sprawling bookshelf that tended to grow as Feyre’s inner circle and Nesta’s Valkyries gave her as presents, she had more clothes than she felt like she needed and notebooks to write as she pleased.

Still, the darkness lingered. She had nightmares, night terrors, awful ones. Melting memories and what if, and fears. The war that was approaching, Kochei’s presence lurking did little to calm her heart. Although Elain hadn’t seen anything yet, and both Nesta and Feyre still seemed calm.

So she focused on helping Feyre with Nyx, and the Priestess with some of the young kids in the city, trying to make herself useful.

“Ria?”

“Yes, I’m sorry. What did you say?” Reverie says turning to her sister with a small smile, her eyes moving away from the window

“I asked if you’d like to go to the High Lord’s meeting at Winter with the rest of us.” Feyre says.

“Oh?” Reverie can’t help the surprise in her features. “Well if that isn't be too much of a problem.”

“it’s settled then.”

Little did Reverie know that the meeting would change everything.

….

“There’s more chairs than usual.” She hears Gwyn whisper to Azriel.

The only court present so far is Night.

“Lucien,” Rhysand voice comes.

“No idea.” Lucien says from beside Elain.

It’s like a siren song, the symbol that has been on her dreams for years now. She moves slightly, eying the symbol on the chair. Second later there’s a wave of magic coming from outside the castle — she feels like she should know from who but she doesn’t.

Golden eyes lose focus slightly and she feels her knees giving out and Nesta’s arms are around her.

Everything is muffled. Her ears are ringing.

Something is wrong. Something is off.

It’s like a thousand and one emotions are running through her at the same moment. She raises a hand pressing it against her chest.

Gods, what’s wrong with her?

‘Reverie breathe, you need to breathe.’ Feyre’s voice echoed in her head and she feels her presence.

She is breathing isn’t she? Gods feels like someone is trying to break her rib cage.

“She’s shutting down.” Reverie hears Elain’s voice through the muffled noise that seems to be over her ears.

But then all the sound vanishes overtaken by another one completely.

She can hear laugher, her own laugher, feel a kiss being planted on her cheek, someone hugging her, the sound of a baby cooing, the scent of the sea, wind moving through her white curls.

She has the vague awareness of more magic entering the room but then her awareness completely slips away from her.

But something comes alive in her chest, something that seems to wrap around her heart, caress her soul, as if to say.

I’m here.

[scaly-freaks]

I would love to hear what you think of a au vers where amara is rhaenyras daughter and gets married to aegon in a way to mend the relationship between both sides, just for it to be for nothing bc of blood and cheese and aegon being crowned king. Aegon lacks good fanfics besides both of yours

Word of Warning: This is not going to be a happy AU

I'm so attached to her Dornish identity (bc that means she looks like me) that I'm going to make her Criston's daughter in this one...sorry Jace, I'm snatching away the rumoured paternity for my girl. In fact, I'm removing Jace altogether because Amara is basically doing his job as the eldest child now.

But I think she wouldn't be the Amara people have come to love that's for sure. She'd be spoiled, has her father's wicked temper, doesn't care that her brother Luke took Aemond's eye because personally she would have done worse if he hadn't been about to whack her with a rock. She'd scorn Aegon, and have a righteous belief in Luke's position as heir to the iron throne, and she'd be a wonderful liar. Everyone knows she and her brothers aren't legitimate, but she gaslights them with Margaery Tyrell-esque charm and wit and makes them question themselves.

She'd go toe-to-toe with Alicent, but not in the way the OCs do on Tiktok where they parrot her insults back at her. More in the sense that Amara becomes like Aegon when she thinks someone is too strait-laced to live and she wants to pester them. The way Aegon picks and teases at Jace, is how Amara would pick and tease at Alicent and Aemond because to her they're both hilarious. She'd love Helaena, but who wouldn't.

Also this Amara wouldn't like Aegon the way my others ones do, and that's because her love map is starkly different. Her mother loves her and isn't neglectful, and her father (...Laenor) is also present as much as he can be and is the fun!dad archetype. She's never had an empty stomach. She knows her own worth, and Aegon doesn't match up.

She would cry with rage on her wedding night as he raped her (I'm calling it rape because she doesn't want to be there, and he gets a particular satisfaction out of having a public bedding ceremony to deflower his sister's eldest kid). There's no affection there. He gets the job done, and she punches him in the face after, which turns into one of Mushroom's "funny tales" to tell at court later. Thankfully, she falls pregnant immediately, and maybe, just maybe, starts to soften to Aegon when it's clear that outside of his perverse nastiness (I'm keeping him as a canon rapist this one too, sorry lads....which btw he is a rapist in TGOWARL but it's not delved into because princes and nobility don't count it as rape when it comes to wives and commoners) he is actually kind to their children. She doesn't care that he isn't attached to Jaehaera the same, because that means Jaehaera is hers alone (that one quote in Marie Antoinette about the son belonging to France and the daughter belonging to her mother alone).

Aegon would 100% never fail to torture her wherever possible. She's the eldest child of the sister he hates, and once Blood & Cheese happens, with his one-sided view of his children as being his his his I can definitely see him using it against her. Amara loses her faith in her mother after B&C because yes, even if it was Daemon's fault, Rhaenyra married him and was blind to the fact that he's a loose cannon and now her own grandchild is dead. She'd probably sink into the Helaena-style depression, and what with Aegon treating her like absolute shit and the rest of the court also suspecting her every movement because now she's Rhaenyra's Daughter once more, I can't imagine it'd be a very happy time for her. In the small pockets of time she does bite back, she refuses to be a victim again and let him rape her, and forces herself to put on the mindset of I'm fucking him, he's not fucking me. This develops into an Alicole-type compulsion towards sex, where even though they're married and it should be normal, it feels like an ugly ritual they're partaking in that both pleases and horrifies. She probably will fall pregnant again eventually.

ALSO - just realised she'd have to co-exist next to Aemond, her brother's killer? Because I'm assuming that's what ruined the short-lived peace and then triggered the rest of the chain reactions. God, this is a horrible AU for her to be in because deep down, my girl hates being caged, and now I've just forced her into the most suffocating family possible KJDHKJFHKJFH

p.s. About keeping Aegon canon, I wrote Burning Jasmine and completely erased that part because for me it's a very touchy topic and I just wasn't ready to explore a character that I liked who was also a rapist. I tend not to even be in fandoms, so I wasn't used to discussing characters that way. But I realised it makes him a more interesting mess of contradictions and nuance (if explored deeper than the show did) and I think writing is the safest place to navigate such issues, esp in terms of one's own history with abuse.

[littlelordalphinaud]

now i wanna know more about valentina the galvus family makes me go crazy

Valentina is Zenos' eldest daughter!

She was based on the idea of Varis realising that the way he'd treated Zenos had kinda ended the family line by virtue of his son being the perfect warrior but with 0 interest in anything, or anyone, else.

So finds a noble woman of good breeding and arranges a marriage and makes it clear to Zenos that you do your husbandly duty once a week until you have a son.

And so along came Valentina!

And then her two younger sisters and then finally her brother, the actual heir.

Valentina desperately wants her father's love and attention. So she taught herself SAM swordsmanship from watching him, to try and impress him, despite it not being "A ladies place" to do so.

Again, when Solus dies she leaves Garlemald to go to Eorzea, but her drive is that she still wants her Father's attention and care and affection and believes that proving herself a great warrior will earn that for her. And she's aware of Rhan Dei-Ijla, the Warrior of Light who defeated Gaius (who again belongs to @instantbee . We both have character creation problems and enjoy enabling one another)

So up she shows and asks Rhan if she can help!

Valentina has no great love for Garlemald but that's not on any particular moral grounds. It's more simply that her Father is the only person she's ever really cared about, and since he has very little interest in the empire, neither does she.

During Heavensward, while helping Rhan with Bismark, she is reunited with her grandfather, Varis. She's quite excited to see him, while he immediately disowns her and names her 'vaitor', stripping her of her 'wir'. Valentina is surprisingly upset by this, while Rhan and Alphinaud both agreed to keep her identity as the former princess a secret.

Stormblood was incredibly difficult for Valentina. She was excited to see her Father again, only for him to dismiss her, attack her friends, send her flying, and try and kill Rhan. She spent a lot of that expansion in something of a fugue state as even with her disowning, she held out hope that her Father would care about her if she proved herself strong enough, and it just... Never happened.

She does manage to pull out of it, thankfully, and firmly places herself on Rhans side of things, as Rhan and the Scions actually care about her.

Other things about Valentina:

She ends up an Omnicrafter as she finds herself fascinated by how everything is made. She genuinely stumbled into it but it got put into hyperdrive during her 3 years in the First, as she worked at the Crystalline Mean in between helping the guard in Lakeland

Rhan is the reason she figured out she was gay. It took a concerningly long time because she'd never been particularly told it was an option so assumed this was just how people felt about their friends.

Her mother, two sisters, and younger brother all got tempered during Endwalker. Valentina does not know their ultimate fate. She's too afraid to go home and find out.

She was only 19 when she went to Eorzea.

On the boat to Doma, in a somewhat desperate attempt to bring her out of the soul deep depression that was consuming her, Lyse started teaching Valentina to be a MNK. At this point in the game, she's a VPR but still maintains her MNK training to help herself stay on an even keel.

After Stormblood, but before she gets pulled to the First, Valentina starts actually looking into the Garlean Empire properly, and privately vows to do what she helped to do in Doma and Ala Mhigo in every place they conquered.

She's a big part of the Bozja storyline, working tirelessly to help them, never expecting them to warm to her existence but wanting to help them anyway.

Because of her upbringing, Valentina can read music, sew, sing and dance. These are not skills many know she possesses.

Despite the disowning, the Anima fight in Endwalker was a difficult one for Valentina. Unfortunately, with literally everything else that was going on in Endwalker, she didn't really get the chance to process it for quite some time

There we go, that's Valentina, the sweetest princess ever raised by a nation of warmongers!

[callmehere-iwillappear]

npwd hours. have some fun facts

(this will definitely be added to/updated later)

Raph (Red) (he/she)

literally the only one who doesn't wear clothes (outside of his shorts/mask)

still does the Red Angel of Preventing Harm thing

splinter... wasn't doing great for a good while after the mutation happened (esp since on top of everything in canon he ALSO lost three of his kids)

when raph was around eight or so though he got very very sick and almost died. she tried to take care of herself because she assumed splinter wouldn't, but could only do so much. thankfully splinter found out before it was too late and was able to save her. it was a pretty good wakeup call and while he's still super depressed he's been much more present since then

Leo (Leon) (he/him)

growing up with hypno (and eventually warren) did nothing but increase his flair for the dramatic and love of magic

he was 100% hypno's assistant for shows a lot of the time. the turtle thing was passed off as a 'costume'

knows ALL the best magic tricks

warren came along when leo was around five or six

when hypno and warren got mutated they (obviously) couldn't keep their jobs so they took to doing crimes to get money. small crimes because they don't want to be a bad influence on leo but they also do need the money to put a roof over his head

they do try to hide the fact that they do crimes from leo. he absolutely knows but he lets them think he doesn't

they have thrown hands with raph on more than one occasion. raph did start going a bit easier on them after one of them mentioned at some point they had a kid at home. raph Does Not Know that said kid is leo

Donnie (Othello) (he/they)

lives in an apartment. No Space for a lab. he wants one SO BAD.

still tinkers a lot and fixes things around the house with what he can find

the o'neils have the best wifi in the state of new york

they did create shelldon! he's stuck in donnie's computer though - not enough resources to build a body

likes fashion and dresses up for fun sometimes but wears the hoodie most of the time bc it's familiar/safe

no battle shell really... they do have a fake shell but it's more for storage than anything else since they don't get in fights. like a backpack basically

no gauntlet thingy, no magic goggles - he does have noise cancelling headphones he keeps in his shellpack

they do have goggles for work (for eye protection) just not the 3d glasses lookin goggles they have in canon

Mikey (Mike) (he/she/they)

VERY in tune with his mystics (trained by draxum)

LOVES skateboarding. badgered draxum into having a skate ramp installed for them

doesn't hate humanity (and has even managed to soften draxum up a bit. not much but a bit) and actually thinks a lot of their stuff is super cool

mutating the humans was the compromise she and draxum came to rather than killing them. she doesn't see a problem with it bc 'it's better than killing all of them'

morals are a bit... looser than canon mikey's due to draxum's influence

take your kid to work day more like [draxum voice] someone will die. [mikey voice] of fun!

But Also: aww little guy - oh he's a bit fucked up actually

sneaks up to the surface sometimes to do graffiti. has ABSOLUTELY been seen more than once but thinks she's so sneaky

draxum wasn't the best at first (treated mikey like a warrior rather than a kid) but he got better. he's a good dad now

hugin and munin would both kill for her without question

mikey talks about their internet friends enough that draxum is eventually like. ok i will make an exception for three (3) humans because my child likes them

general

they got their colors bc lou jitsu tied scraps of fabric onto them to be able to tell them apart

[fandomsfordays21]

Hi guys...

I know I promised to post more about my Soul Experiment AU and I know I promised to post it sooner but I'm going through a lot of personal stuff rn. Explanation under cut.

TW under the cut for: mentions of toxic relationships and abuse, bullying, mentions of mental illness and potential eating disorders, mentions of surgery and medication, and brief mentions of self-harm.

School has been a bitch and I'm trying to keep my grades above failing. I've been struggling to even complete assignments for class at all much less put effort into them. I've also been going through the stress of leaving a toxic friend group, following that up by leaving my toxic household. I'm living with my grandmother right now but my mother is still in my life and still has custody of me. I've just been struggling with adjusting to a life without lots of toxic and abusive behavior and trying to take better care of myself. My mother has been completely avoidant to the concept of contacting me and only does so when there's a doctor's appointment involved. This is a problem because she's obsessed with me being the "sick, struggling kid" both mentally and physically to the point that she's been pushing for me to get a surgery I don't want that isn't even needed for my health, and she's been insistent of the "fact" that I need to take meds. I've been taking prescription pills for as long as I can remember, for things like ADHD and depression, and they've never really helped, if anything, they've made things worse for me. My grandmother has had me stop taking them and my body is slowly starting to recover, but I'll never be the same and my hatred and fear of hospitals will be stuck with me forever. All my life my mother has been using me as a way to rack up sympathy points, attention, and insurance coverage for herself. I've finally gotten out of there and have started figuring out who I am without the cloud of multiple drugs that I can't even name clouding my mind. I've gotten better about eating and have started gaining weight, my family always bullied me about my weight despite both my parents (My mom and her wife) being 200-300 pounds as well as just shaming me for eating because my autistic safe foods were "too expensive" and they "couldn't afford me eating like that". I got out before it became a full ED, but the shame and regret I get from eating, or even just the times I can't bring myself to eat, are still there. I've been experiencing teenage freedom for the first time without my parents restricting me and depriving me of the internet or the outside world in general. I'm so afraid though, that my mother will suddenly decide she wants me back, (Despite sending messages to my grandmother that explicitly state she wants nothing to do with me and that she doesn't want me in her house) and that I'll have no choice but to go. As for my friends, I found out that they were really toxic and problematic. I should have realized it sooner, but I was so desperate for people to care about me. Thankfully I don't run into them because I am currently on online school, but that's also part of the problem. I've been staying at home a lot and have been feeling really isolated and lonely not having any people to talk to. This is amplified by the fact that my social anxiety has gotten so much worse. School is a struggle because it's both A: the only way I'm going to get into college and have a life eventually, and B: I've failed so many classes that if I don't fix my grades I'll have to go back to my in-person school. The school where I got relentlessly bullied by both students and teachers, and the school where my old toxic friends are. This is even worse because if I get sent back to that school I'll have to move back in with my mom because my grandmother lives too far away from the school to take me each morning. There's a lot more that's been going on and a lot more to the story, but I just can't bring myself to type it out. I'm exhausted, burnt out, anxious, and so afraid of disappointing you all. Please be understanding about this, I'll work as hard as I can to write for you, but I need to keep myself from collapsing in on myself and falling back into my depression and self-harming tendencies. The last thing I want, or need is to go through that again.

[briamichellewrites]

11

Brie was a quiet neighbor. Brad didn’t have any complaints. She didn’t play her music too loudly, even when outside and she made sure her house was kept clean. Yeah, she had people over but they weren’t bothersome. He was an old guy, who didn’t like a lot of noise. He found out from his research online that she was the daughter of billionaires and a country music artist. She had a good voice. He listened to a couple of songs, along with her two music videos.

Her music focused on mental illness, discovering who she was, and being in love. Those were not common themes in country music. In interviews, she talked about her experiences with depression. She talked about being very young and not wanting to play with her toys. When she was in high school, she would stop eating because she didn’t have any energy or appetite.

Her depression was off and on. She also went undiagnosed and unmedicated for eighteen years. Thankfully, she had a great support network of friends who would come over to make sure she was okay and that she was currently on medication to balance the chemicals in her brain. Why did it take so long to be diagnosed? Her parents didn’t believe in mental illness. They believed that she didn’t have any reason to have depression since she had everything she wanted.

She had to learn that her illness was not her fault and there was nothing she did to cause it. Her illness was genetic from her father. There were good days and bad days. It was just something she lived with. Because she was so different from other artists, she was seen as a rebel. She was okay with that because she always did whatever she wanted, even if she was doing it herself.

She caught the attention of Keith Urban, an Australian country artist upon performing a cover of his song, Tonight I Wanna Cry on CMT. He praised her by saying it was one of the best he had ever heard. Both he and his wife, Nicole Kidman happened to catch her on tv. He recognized the song, so he stopped what he was doing to listen. What he saw was a young girl playing the piano while singing with a band behind her. They were both amazed by her voice and talent.

He sent her a tweet, which she responded to thanking him for his kind words. She never expected him to see her on tv, much less respond to her. But he did. She sent a screenshot of the tweet to Bruce and Patti excitedly. They congratulated her. Keith looked her up online. He and Nicole read she was brand new in the country music scene at only eighteen years old.

She was from Los Angeles, California, and was the daughter of Bruce Springsteen. Yeah, that Bruce Springsteen. He had come forward to publicly acknowledge that he had fathered a child eighteen years ago through artificial insemination. The reason why he had waited to come forward was to protect the privacy of the child. He asked for continued privacy for himself, his family, and his daughter. The news spread quickly throughout the country.

He later spoke about helping a couple he and his wife were friends with having a baby through sperm donation. Throughout her life, he had been involved, as had his family. His number one priority was her privacy. Before speaking publicly, he asked her for permission.

She told him he had done nothing wrong, so she told him to go for it. It all started with a rumor about him having a secret love child, who his wife didn’t know about. He allegedly had been sending her mother child support payments for eighteen years. His reputation wasn’t important to him. He was more worried about Patti and his children. That was why he was clearing the air. He was given support online and in the media for his selflessness.

Baxter was Brie’s new puppy. He was a nine-week-old white English Bulldog. She thought his wrinkles were adorable. After spending an hour playing with the different puppies, she chose Baxter. He didn’t want to play with the other puppies, so he went off by himself with a stuffed duck in his teeth. My duck. He didn’t want it stolen, just like a toddler guarding their favorite toy.

She bent down to his level and said hello. He perked his head up. Are you going to adopt me? Yes, she was! He was so happy to be leaving the shelter! Now, he didn’t have to worry about anyone stealing his toys. I’m going home! He was surrendered after being born because the humans found him, his mother, and his two siblings underneath their porch.

His mother and siblings had gone to different homes. All that was left was him. The humans chose his name. He thought it was a good name for a tough guy like him. Baxter the English bulldog. Maybe he wasn’t tough now but someday, he would be. As he and his new human walked up and down the aisles of the pet store, he sniffed at everything while sitting in the cart. He was up high, so he could see a lot. There were other humans also shopping around. One of them was little. Puppy! He turned towards them. Hi, puppy!

Hi, tiny human! How old was he? He was nine weeks old. She just adopted him. Could her daughter pet him? Yeah. She took him out of the cart and held him in her arms before bending down. He was very gentle with the little human as she pet his head. She laughed in happiness.

“I like him, mommy!”

“It looks like he likes you too!”

After a little bit, they said goodbye because they had to finish their shopping. Bye, tiny human! After getting what he needed, they went to the checkout. He was given a free treat by the cashier. Thank you! He ate it happily. Yum! He loved getting treats! His human put the bags into the cart before paying. He had become distracted by the straps in the cart. They were weird to him and he couldn’t figure them out.

He bit into it with his teeth. Nothing. He pawed at it. It moved. He pawed at it again. The same thing happened. Before he knew it, he was back in the car. She had put down a bed for him and he was laying on it. It was very comfortable and soft. If he could, he would wag his tail but he couldn’t. His tail was just a short stump. Instead, he smiled in happiness. He loved the sound of the engine and the vibrations it made as they drove down the street.

brielikethecheese: I was enchanted to meet you. @taylorswift

Brad had a lot to do. He had bills to pay, scripts to go through, and errands to run. He was overwhelmed by it. Usually, he would have his assistant take care of his errands for him but he had time to do them. It was just getting off his ass. He made himself a cup of coffee and sipped it as he looked out the window. It was a nice day out. What was he doing inside? The paparazzi. They always knew exactly where to find him.

They were reason enough to stay home. From his kitchen, he could see into her living room. She wasn’t home. He saw her car leaving a couple of hours ago. Not that he was spying on her. He just happened to notice it. It had been a couple of days since he saw any cars parked at her house. That made him think that her boyfriend wasn’t coming over. He saw her car pulling up and into her garage. It was almost noon. He checked the time.

Yeah, almost. He had been awake since seven in the morning. His body was too used to early mornings that he couldn’t sleep in even if he wanted to. You need a girlfriend. He laughed to himself. A girlfriend was the last thing he needed. Not after what he went through with Jennifer Aniston and Angelina. Angelina was someone he wished he never fell in love with.

She was manipulative and she was prone to anger. Nothing he did was good enough. He stayed with her for too long and it affected his mental health. To the point where he entered rehabilitation for a drinking problem and depression. It was his friend, Bradley Cooper who kicked his ass into going. He owed a lot to him for that. That was twelve months ago. Now, he was picking up the pieces and trying to get a hold of his life.

Should he text her? He looked out the window again and saw her in the living room looking upset. Uh oh. He wondered what happened. She fell onto the couch and wiped her tears. What happened? Chester. He told her he had kissed Mike. Mike confirmed it was true. They were hanging out when he kissed him. He pulled away because he didn’t want him to cheat on her.

He then left because he needed to clear his head. Before he did, he encouraged him to tell her. He was happy he did, even though it hurt her. It would hurt even more if she found out he had kept it a secret. Could he do anything for her? No, she was just going to hang out at home with her new puppy. Did she get a puppy? Yeah, his name was Baxter. He was thrilled to hear about that! A puppy would help get her moving around when she was having trouble with her depression.

That’s why she decided to get one. What breed was he? He was an English bulldog. That sounds adorable. He couldn’t wait to meet him. She posted a picture of him on her Instagram. He would check it out. Before hanging up, they told each other I love you.

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon @fiickle-nia @boricuacherry-blog

[brain-deadx0]

Anyone wanna hear about what I consider my first real book? (Technically wasn't my first but I was the first story I wrote that was more than 10k)

Too bad you're gonna anyway!

👇If you click this readmore lol👇

(Also tw for... alot. War, murder, suicide, mild dismemberment, child abuse i guess probably a few other things tbh)

Ok so. The first draft I finished when I was 14.

Yes it was filled with cringe but, even today, the base was there.

The main characters to know about are:

It: Yes that is the mcs name. It was supposed to be a placeholder name but it ended up fitting and I couldn't be bothered to change it lol. She was a classic self insert who is definitely 100% cishet (in my defense i thought i was too at that time) but honestly looking at it years later she definitely wasn't. Now I see her as a she/her agender who would be fine with any pronouns she just doesn't care. Also aro/ace. Very traumatized serious and hates doing nothing because she feels the need to justify her existence doesn't like to waste her and others time. Doesn't know it but her parents were part of the resistance against the big bad. Mother was killed the day she was born. 16yo

Sebastian: Token cishet honestly lol. Hes a spy posing as a guard until the big surprise battle against the big bad goes wrong and he gets captured along with some others. He didn't expect to get a little sister out of the deep cover but hes determined to help her anyway no matter how many times she tries to murder him. He's also very stressed and depressed but hides it with humor and denial. 19yo

Blake: Sebastians older brother and is convinced he has the brain cell (not entirely wrong) Hes a soldier for the resistance and had to raise Sebastian and himself after they lost their parents to the war when he was 15. No Sebastian you cannot kidnap the big bads presumed child, no I do not want a little sister I barely tolerate you and you aren't trying to kill me. Very serious and stressed (mostly due to his younger brother) but its because he cares and is determined to not lose his last family member. 21yo

Allie: Best character. Love her. Whole story she projects this ditzy and happy persona that doesn't result in getting stabbed (cough cough Sebastian cough) but its mostly an act because she is in fact also a spy. Just not currently active. Theres a few hints I left throughout her appearance in the story so it doesn't just come out of nowhere but she plays a major role not only in the main story itself but also in taking down the big bad. She is a very half glass full type of person but has her own stuggles. Her mom is a soldier fighting in the war and her dad was a nurse who died after a raid about a year before the story takes place. 17yo

And last but not least the big bad himself, Kai: Winner of the not-as-big-of-an-asshole-as-you-could've-been award. His father led the original war to take control of everything (his father is the biggest asshole btw but thankfully he is dead at this point) funny enough Kai actually joined the resistance to try and stop him after running away at 16. Made some friends, fell in love, got captured several years later before watching his friends get brutally murdered infront of him and then got tortured for several years. You know. Father son bonding. (His mother killed herself and attempted to kill Kai when he was 6) So tragic backstory? Yes. Redeemable? Hell no.

Still Kai: Kai ended up killing his father but took over the dictatorship himself. He had one friend who was not captured (it was supposed to be a routine outing but he didn't go. he had no way of knowing what would happen) who went on to get married. This was Its father and he was killed a few years after she was born believing that his wife and child were both dead. Kai ended up being the one to kill him. Now, other than a few flashback scenes we don't actually focus on Kai much other than that he is the badguy since the story is about It and not him. He ended up with It after a soldier brought the newborn back and mentioned who her mother was (Kai recognized the name) He killed the soldier and kept It as a sort of favor to his old friend (who he had actually came to hate because he wasnt there when the rest of them got caught) But yeah. He uses a child as a scapegoat and becomes a worse person as the kid grows up. Has lines but man are those lines few.

The general synopsis is It is essentially training herself to be a human weapon in order to prove worthy of existence useful to a second generation dictator. After a failed attack on the palace by the resistance rebels, she is tasked with helping to torture interrogate the captured enemies.

One of whome turns out to be Sebastian, a guard who worked along side her and because of him she ends up inadvertently being the reason the prisoners escape. Needless to say Kai isn't happy about this and she ends up with more scars and broken bones than before, as well as losing a digit.

Time passes, It heals as much as shes gonna, and things go back to normal for her sans an annoying guard shes glad is gone (lie)

Said annoying guard is back on his side with his brother Blake, and preparing for his next mission.

Purely by chance, no sabotage or espionage or ambushing involved at all, It ends up being taken prisoner.

Enter Allie. A friendly refugee and friend of Sebastian who often comes with him when he guards visits It.

Sebastian is not jealous that Allie managed to essentially befriend It with zero maiming attempts. (Honestly hes just happy It has started to mellow out slightly since being captured. Shes still prickly and suspicious of everything but baby steps)

But It is eventually sent back as part of a prisoner trade.

Queue an torture session interrogation by Kai to ensure she knows her place hasn't switched sides and another long stint in the infirmary before shes back to guard duty.

Anyway another finale attempt at Kai happens and It is forced to choose between the life shes used to or attempting to save the people shes still reluctant to think of as friends.

She almost kills Sebastian but can't bring herself to do it. Blake ends up severely injured and It turns on Kai and distracts him long enough for Sebastian to get his brother to relative safety.

It ends up taking several bad hits and goes down but Allie shows up and takes Kais attention away long enough for Sebastian to come back and the two of them almost manage to overwhelm Kai but fail.

It, in the midst of bleeding out and trying not to lose consciousness manages to sneak up on an also injured Kai and stabs him with her dagger, finishing him off before she passes out herself.

The end. She wakes up in a hospital (still a prisoner) Allie and Sebastian show up. Blake still doesn't like her but is more willing to give her a chance, and they all lived ever after.

I honestly want to redo this story one day and actually get it published. Its just always held a special place in my heart because while I finished the first draft when I was 14 I kept just updating and rewriting it practically till I graduated so it was a big part of my life for a long time.

I had other 10k+ writings sure, but this was the first.

[yourfavouriterival]

AZRIEL: i had to leave - part one

note : slay acotarrrrrrrr yas

part one | part two | part three

pairing : azriel x fem!archeron!reader

warnings : angst, numbness, depression, unrequited love (in the form of a mating bond), the inner circle being blind, jealousy, self-hatred, we love feyre, leaving, an ending that might elude some things.

words : 1.1k (1153)

summary : y/n archeron, the eldest sister, is mated to azriel. but azriel isn’t aware of this. this paired with the trauma of being made makes y/n make drastic decisions.

masterlist

-

After Y/N was thrown into The Cauldron, she forced herself not to drink water for a week, and since she was now…fae, she thankfully survived.

That was until she collapsed whilst attempting to talk to Elain. She didn’t know who exactly had caught her when she fell, but she woke up with water being forced down her throat.

Not exactly the best way to combat trauma.

-

Was this a dream?

“Good morning,” she said to Azriel as she entered the library. She sat down by the unlit fireplace, opening her book and trying not to feel that hope as he sent a friendly greeting back.

“Good book?” he asked.

“It’s okay,” she replied. “It's a bit boring for now.”

“Hm,” he hummed. “You know, you could choose a different one.”

“I’m invested,” she joked. She watched—bewildered—as he smiled. What the fuck? Her heart was moving too fast for her body to keep up, and she feared a heart attack when he looked her straight in the eyes. “Am I amusing you?”

“It’s good that you’re regaining your humour,” he noted, and then picked up a book about gardening and left the library. To her knowledge, he wasn’t into gardening, and she felt a rip in her mood as she realised he was leaving her—his mate, though he didn’t seem to want her—to find her sister.

She didn’t want to read anymore but forced herself to read the book, because she wasn’t going to quit. She would survive this.

-

At least she wasn’t taking it out on the people who only tried to help them, like Nesta was. That was her only comforting thought.

She’d smile at Azriel’s quietness and Cassian’s jokes and Rhysand’s kindness. She’d try to forgive Nesta without receiving a reason to. She’d do her best to accept Elain’s new behaviour, even if she wanted to cry and ask why she was hurting her.

And when Feyre tried to fix their messy family, she’d do everything she could to make sure that she didn’t think less of Feyre just because they were both different from their human lives.

Unlike Elain, she wasn’t filled with that sadness, and unlike Nesta, she wasn’t angry. She was turning… numb. She felt empty. She hadn’t felt this numbness since she was small, and her mother was berating her.

She felt empty looking at her old clothes that were now just a harsh reminder of her old life. She felt empty watching her sister and Rhysand embracing when she returned. She felt purposeless when the threat of violence persisted over the world she was now stuck in. Fighting was futile when she felt alone, no matter how much Feyre joined her in her room, holding her cold hand as she explained the new world in great detail.

But she felt the most gone from the world as she watched Azriel, the Spymaster and Shadowsinger, chase after Elain when Y/N had felt that bond the day she was Made.

She missed her old house, no matter how run down. She missed her mother, no matter how painful loving her was. She missed her father, no matter how little he loved her. She missed struggling to survive, because then she had something to work for. Here, she could ask for her own castle, and she’d probably receive one at the end of the day.

She missed living and she missed loving.

That was one of the reasons she chose to leave.

-

Elain was blushing.

Azriel was smiling.

At the dinner table.

They made a joke about their food, and promptly shared it.

Y/N felt nauseous and didn’t eat.

No one noticed, too happy that Elain was leaving her sadness behind.

Elain had this carefulness about her that must’ve made Azriel comfortable around her—comfortable enough to love her even with all her broken parts. And no matter how much Y/N distorted herself, she couldn’t be Elain.

“And then!” Cassian howled with laughter as he told some story about some warrior he’d met at some point in time. “Then he passed out!”

She felt like the odd one out in the room. Elain smiled that nice smile that was so kind, Feyre grinned, holding hands with Rhysand and even Nesta lifted one side of her mouth, but dropped it when Cassian noticed. Azriel smiled both at Cassian and at the smile on Elain’s face.

Y/N didn’t deserve this. A family. Not anymore. She was selfish and wanted the one piece of happiness her sister had.

But the twinge of pain she felt when Azriel whispered something in Elain’s ear broke a part of her that her numbness had yet to reach. The line connecting them was stuck in the middle, unreciprocated and unwanted.

She longed for the feeling that was described in the books or the way that Feyre described loving Rhysand as.

-

They were going out tonight. Dancing, drinking and “fun”. It would usually end with Y/N hearing the drunken ramblings of Feyre, complaining of her feet aching and professing her love for her mate who would grin and help her to bed.

Y/N made an attempt to talk to Azriel that day, saying ‘hello’. He said ‘hello’ back, and his voice made her heart skip a beat.

They talked for a minute before Elain moved to the garden and Azriel followed, helping her before guiding her to get ready for tonight. Nesta and Elain were getting more used to who they were.

And even though Elain had a mate who made every attempt to deserve her love, Elain had to choose to latch herself onto the one who was supposed to care for her, not her sister. It hurt to hate her own sister. It wasn’t her fault. No one knew.

She chose not to go, because no one wanted her there. No matter how much Feyre promised they did, the pitiful looks from Mor or the sad looks from Feyre and Rhysand would be enough to make her crack. But she’d also have to watch Azriel be comfortable and happy and know that she had no part in it.

She chose to leave before they made her. She didn’t have the right to take their money or live in their house or yearn for something as selfish as love.

I want to go home.

The only entry in the notebook she received from Feyre as a way to get her feelings out.

I want my home back.

No amount of begging to the Mother could help her home. None of the money from Rhysand would grant her the happiness she wanted.

She would escape tonight.

She wouldn’t take any of the luxuries Rhysand had so kindly offered her and her sisters. She would only take the few things that had been taken from her old home. A couple of clothes and two knives.

She’d survive even this.

No.

She’d thrive.

[xoxo-teddybear]

Goodbyes- Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader (ft. Katsumi, yours and Katsuki’s daughter )

Warnings: Angst, Cursing, Bad Father-Daughter relationship, slight SLIGHT SLIGHT (like 0.00000000000001%) fluff, intense kiss cuz Katsuki’s a SLUT

Summary: Years have passed and even so, Bakugou never gave up on you. You or Katsumi. You were both his family. His girls. He needed the both of you. And he will do everything in his power to bring you both back to him, but his now 16 year old daughter doesn’t plan on making it easy for him.

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

Pt.1 Pt.2

11 years have passed since you left Katsuki that day. That horrid day. After leaving the house of hell, you went to Mina’s place to see your daughter. You saw her, happy, with her uncles and aunt. Her world was about to change and so you had to give her every ounce of happiness she could possibly get. You decided it would be best for both of you to stay in the welcoming home a little longer.

While continuing Katsumi’s play date, Mina had suggested you and Katsumi stay with her and Kirishima, but you declined. You knew it would be too easy for Katsuki to find you both and you knew he wouldn’t stop trying if he knew you were both at such easy access. And so, after hours and hours of Katsumi having the time of her life, it was time to bring her to her new home. For the time being at least.

After you left the happy couple’s house, you and Katsumi stayed in a hotel for the time being. It was a very nice place. Plenty of other kids for Katsumi to get along with, luxury rooms, and a pool! You both had stayed there for about a month until you found a gorgeous little house where you and Katsumi could call home. Not only was it spacious, luxurious, and all around amazing, if was far, far away from the previous home your shared with your soon-to-be ex husband.

You both had finally moved in, but that was the least of your problems. Like you told Katsuki, you allowed him to be a part of your daughter’s life. You allowed him to take care of her for 2 weeks, and then it was your turn. 2 weeks would pass and it would be his turn once again. You never allowed Katsuki to know where you both where. You kept your information very hidden and made sure your young daughter wasn’t capable of telling her father the new address whenever she was in his custody. You also never allowed Katsuki to pick Katsumi up. You always dropped her off, but never in a vehicle of your own. Can’t risk having him look up and track down your license plate. And if you couldn’t drop her off, you’d have Kirishima or Mina do it.

As time went on Katsumi continued to ask what was going on. Why was her life suddenly so different? She had asked Katsuki before, but he always told her it was a conversation she should have with her mom. When she asked you, you just smiled at her and told her “Things are changing right now, so it’ll just be me and you for a bit. But a Mommy-Daughter play date sounds fun doesn’t it? And it’ll last for a long time~” you said, hinting at what could possibly be the end of Katsumi and Katsuki’s relationship.

Thankfully, Katsumi liked the sound of that. Even though she was a daddy’s girl, she loved her mommy just as much! Of course her head would constantly be filled with thoughts of Katsuki but what can you do? You can’t bring her back to the cheater. Not permanently at least. You just...can’t.

Katsumi wasn’t the only one who was constantly thinking about family. Katsuki also had his face in every screen, every device, every piece of paper that might be able to help him find you. After you left him, he fell into a deep depression. He lost his two girls and it drove him mad. Even though he got to see Katsumi every 2 weeks, he knew that soon, she’d be old enough to be allowed to know what had happened. He was constantly on the lookout for you and where you could possibly be staying and with his friends refusing to help him, he concluded that for this job, he was on his own. He didn’t care. He had to find you again. He was going to bring his family back together.

—

A few years had passed. 6 to be exact. Katsumi was now 11 and she had questions. Why does life have to be like this? How long will the family be separated? Will we ever be together again? Due to all the confusion, Katsumi began to lash out constantly. It was like she was a mini version of her father. She needed answers. She needed to be led out of the dark. She needed to know. And it was time you told her. And boy, did you tell her something.

“Katsumi...your father left..because of me. I’m sorry. I was a horrible wife..and he just couldn’t take it anymore. It was understandable as to why he left..so..don’t be mad at him. Okay?” Y/N told her daughter.

Yup. You lied to her. You lied to your Katsumi but you had your reasons. A girl should think well of her father. Especially when that girl considered her father to be her best friend. So no, you didn’t tell Katsumi that the real reason you were separated was because her father cheated on you. You just couldn’t. Not when you knew Katsuki held the most important relationship in his daughter’s heart.

The relationship between a father and daughter is something irreplaceable. Something special. You couldn’t ruin it for her. So you were okay with her being mad at you, for her blaming you. As long as she was satisfied with her father-daughter “relationship,” that was good enough for you.

However, even though you put the blame on yourself, it didn’t stop Katsumi from being mad at her father too. He should’ve stayed. He should’ve tried to work things out. You both were her parents! You couldn’t even at least try to stay together for the sake of her? After finding out the “truth,” Katsumi did indeed grow resentment towards her dad. You were right in the end, and she no longer wanted to see him. That was fine with you. She could hate him, but as long as she didn’t know he was truly a scum, then that was settling as well.

Anger and fury resided in Katsumi. It bubbled up inside her and for the first 3 years in her teenage life, she was a child straight out of hell. Constantly in trouble, constantly taking out her anger on the world. You couldn’t blame her though, it was Katsuki’s fault she was like this. And you soon realized it was your fault since you lied to her too. Even so, you still didn’t tell her the truth. You opted to allowing Katsumi to express herself but with you and you only.

Katsumi was a good child at heart, but she was just lost in the dark. So when her mother allowed her to take her anger out on her, Katsumi did NOT lay a fist on her mother. Instead, she broke down. She broke down hard. Like she’s been broken all along.

“Was I not a good enough reason for him to stay?!” She sobbed out in anger as tears flowed down her face. You held your daughter as she cried and tore down all her walls she spent years building up. “I understand if your relationship was tough..but I hoped that maybe he would’ve came back to try for me at least. How could he just run away?! I just want my parents together. I just want to be considered! I’m not like other kids! I don’t have a family!!”

“I’m sorry, Katsumi.” You would whisper into her hair as she balled her eyes out. You didn’t expect your rebellious and strong child to be so..torn. You knew she was broken and you tried to help however you could but you never expected a meltdown. You were glad it happened though. After that day, followed a few more breakdowns. It was like Katsumi was opening the gates to allow everything to be bare just for her mother to see.

Her mother. Someone she now fully and completely trusts. Someone she loves. She allowed her mother to see all her cracks and damaged pieces. And thank god she did because now your mother-daughter relationship was better than ever. Katsumi replaced the thoughts of her father with happy memories of you. Instead of her father, her mother became her keeper, her guardian, her protector, her hero.

—

You smile as you look back on the journey you and your daughter traveled on. A happy family of 3, to a sad and confused duo, to a timid and raging two, to finally a content and happy mother and daughter. It’s been one hell of a ride for you, but if it meant reaching Katsumi’s happiness, then you’d happily do it all again.

“G’morning mom!” Katsumi happily said as she walked into the kitchen.

“There’s the beautiful birthday girl!” You happily said as you turned to your 16 year old daughter. Katsumi was no longer harmful towards others. Your once brutal and ruthless bully of a daughter became a sweet, sassy, and fun teenage girl. She was happy now. The sadness and anger finally left...at least, that’s what you thought. And that’s what she thought too. But the inner Katsumi was still in shambles...just..nobody knew that. Not even herself.

Katsumi was quick to jump onto you and give you a hug. She loved you. You became her best friend, her rock. Her protector and hero. It was always you two against the world and Katsumi wouldn’t have it any other way. “Not to be ‘self absorbed’ or anything, but are we doing anything special today?”

“Welll~ I know we haven’t seen them in a few months but I pulled some strings and so! Uncle Kiri, Uncle Denki, Uncle Sero, and of course Auntie Mina will be coming over to celebrate your 16th birthday!” You said with enthusiasm. You watched as your daughter’s jaw drop in happiness as tears of joy began to fill her eyes.

“Seriously?!” She asked with excitement and watched as you nodded your head. She jumped onto you once more and squeezed you tight. “Mom, that’s amazing! Thank you!”

You smiled as your daughter beamed with happiness. It’s been awhile since the Bakusquad (minus Bakugou) came to see Katsumi. Everytime they left their homes, Bakugou grew suspicious and assumed they were seeing Katsumi (and you of course), and even though he was right, he couldn’t know that. So to keep your location hidden from Katsuki, they had to stop seeing you and Katsumi for some time. After a few months, they decided it was perfect for them to pop up again on her 16th birthday, a very special time in a young girl’s life.

“Anything for you Sweetie! C’mon, I made your birthday breakfast and then we can get ready for the day. They’ll be here very soon!” You said to your daughter. She nodded and you both took your seats at the island, enjoying the delicious meal.

Growing up, Katsumi did indeed have friends, but they were more like school friends. She only talked to them in an educational environment but outside of school, her best friend was her mother. She was all she needed. Her friends were her aunt and uncles and that’s why she was more than happy to spend her 16th birthday with just them.

—

Katsuki looked at the date. His heart stung in pain as he stared down at the calendar.

“Katsumi’s birthday.....happy birthday Baby Bear.” He said in a broken voice. The same broken voice he had that day you left him. The same broken voice he’s had ever since you left him.

It’s been 11 years since you left. It’s been 5 since Katsumi decided she no longer wanted anything to do with him. Katsuki felt like he lost everything and in a way, he did. Even so, he kept the house the same in hopes that one day you’d return.

Over a decade has passed and Katsuki still holds hope that maybe..maybe if he prays long and hard enough..if he remains hopeful..his world will go back to normal.

Katsuki was so lost in thought that he didn’t even realize his own friends were possibly going to visit you and Katsumi. It wasn’t until he heard his phone ding and looked to see a notification from Denki to the Bakusquad group chat. Denki must’ve realized he texted the wrong chat room because he never sent another text. Coming to that conclusion, Bakugou assumed something was going on and so he got ready to make a quick trip to his best friend’s house to get in the know. This was a stretch considering they never told him anything about you, which he’ll agree is deserved, but regardless he won’t stop trying.

He got ready and once he was done he was right out the door. As he pulled up to the house he noticed not only Kirishima and Mina, he saw Sero and Kaminari. Something was definitely up. He pulled over to the side and just watched. He saw the 4 friends talking and laughing and finally, he saw the gifts. That’s what gave it away. He watched as the friends packed gifts into their cars and once he saw Kirishima bring a cake, that was all the confirmation Katsuki needed. They were going to see you. They knew where you were.

Katsuki stayed hidden as he followed his friends on the road. He stayed a few cars behind and took on a slow pace. Thankfully, they never noticed him. As the ash blonde drove he couldn’t help but feel a little stinging in his chest and butterflies in his belly. He was so excited to see you..see his daughter..his family.

The drive felt like forever and it probably was. Katsuki looked at his location on the map and it was then that he really saw how far you had moved. It hurt his heart realizing how much you really didn’t want to see him but the fact that he was going to reunite with you soon was overcoming any negative thoughts or feelings. Eventually, his friends ahead of him had arrived and of course, Katsuki followed. The blonde parked a little ways off from the house and waited. He figured that seeing him would cause some shock throughout the home. Katsuki didn’t expect you or Katsumi to be happy to see him but he didn’t care. He’s willing to go through whatever to bring you both back. So, instead of going in right away, he allowed you and Katsumi to enjoy yourselves for some time before he went in and crashed the place.

—

“Happy birthday to you~”

“Blow out the candles, sweetie!” You said while holding the cake. Katsumi smiled, took a tiny breath, and took out the small flames. You all clapped for the now 16 year old girl and you placed the cake down. Playful banter and happy talks were discussed all around as you began to cut the cake and pass around slices.

“I can’t believe our little Katsumi’s all grown up!” Kaminari sobbed into Sero’s shoulder. The slender man made a face of disgust as slobber got all over him and pushed the electric blonde off.

“We’re so happy we got to see you today, kid.” Sero said to the smiling little lady.

“I’m really glad I got to see you guys too! You really made this birthday something special. I love you guys! Especially you, Mom. Thanks for everything.” Katsumi said as she walked to you and wrapped her arms around you.

“I’d give the whole world for you Katsumi. As long as you’re happy, I’m happy. Your smile s’all I’ll need.” You said while rubbing soft circles onto her back. You released the hug as chatter grew again.

On the outside, Bakugou was pressed with his back against the door. He was lucky it was pretty late, so no one would take notice of the pro hero snooping on some “random” house. As Bakugou listened in on the party inside, he teared up at the sound of the singing. What you all didn’t know was that on the other side of the door, Bakugou was also singing and wishing his daughter a happy birthday. Although it was Katsumi’s day, Bakugou took her wish, and begged for his family back.

He stayed outside the door for awhile but the sound of his name made his ears perk. “So..how are things with Bakugou?”

—

You rolled your eyes at Mina’s question. “C’mon. Seriously? Like I’d know.” You laughed a little.

“Y/N, I’m being serious. Katsumi’s 16 now. She hasn’t seen Bakugou in 5 years. Don’t you think it’s a little tough on both of them?” Your pink friend asked. You soften your eyes a bit as you looked towards your hands

“....Of course I do, Mina. Katsumi has always been a daddy’s girl.” You said while looking towards your daughter, who was laughing with her uncles. “She loves him...and so do I. But it was her choice to not see him. ....She thinks I don’t know it, but I’m well aware of just how bad Katsuki’s absence is hurting her. She puts up a strong facade, but I’m her mother and I can see through it. She misses him but she’s too hurt by what happened.”

“But still, what about Bakugou? I know what he did was horrible-“

“Extremely.”

“Right. But he’s still my friend. He tells us everything. He’s so broken by what happened and I’m not saying you should forgive him but if Katsumi misses her dad as much as Bakugou misses the both of you, maybe she should consider seeing him again.” Mina mentioned. You couldn’t believe yourself but you honestly began to consider it.

Back with Katsuki, his eyes widened a bit. A small smiled grew on his face and tiny tears of joy filled his eyes. He made a reminder to thank Mina for her recommendation for you. If you agreed to it, he might get his Baby Bear back. ..He might get you back too. However, a sudden voice made his hopes shaky.

—

“No, she shouldn’t.”

You and Mina both looked behind you to see your daughter standing there. You both held shocked expressions as you watched her.

“..Katsumi..you don’t ever think of seeing him again?” You asked as her expression grew a mix of hurt and anger.

“No! Not after what he did to you! What he did to us.” She said. You kicked yourself as you and Mina were reminded of the lie you told your daughter. He did hurt the two of you...just not in the way that she thinks. “If he was lucky, and his reasons were good enough, then maybe, maybe I’d forgive him. And maybe I’d go back to seeing him. But he’s gone and he’s not coming back.”

—

On the other side of the door, Katsuki grew hurt by the memories of what he did. After hearing his daughter’s words, he had enough and finally worked up the courage to knock on the door.

—

“-he’s not coming back.”

*knock* *knock* *knock*

The 3 of you looked to the door and were shocked at the new guest. Nobody else was scheduled to come. Who could it be? You watched as Kirishima went to open it and took notice of his surprised face. He said a few quiet words, nodded, and then took a few steps away from the door. He looked towards you and your daughter and you felt the whole world stop as you all looked to the man in front of you who had just stepped in.

“....Hey.”

“.....Katsuki.” You said with small tears in your eyes. You looked towards your daughter to see a sad and hurt expression on her face as her jaw slightly dropped.

“...Dad.”

—

“So.....you’re back.” You said with a broken and bittersweet voice as you stepped to him. You crossed your arms as a way to hold yourself in comfort and to put on a strong front in front of Katsuki. Only problem was, he was the man you loved and who loved you. You’ve been together since you both were babies. He knows how you truly feel.

Bakugou chuckled a bit as he put his hands in his pockets and stepped towards you. “Thank you, Y/N.”

“For what?” You quickly and sternly asked.

“For keeping my secret. You think my dumbass friends wouldn’t tell me what you did?” He began before he was interrupted.

“Hey! At least these dumbasses know it ain’t cool to crash a party!” The electric dunce said as he took another bite of cake.

“Denki!” The rest of the Bakusquad (minus Bakugou) shouted. Bakugou shook his head with a small laugh before continuing.

“Thank you for protecting Katsumi from me. You never once sold me out.” He explained with sad eyes and a hurt smiled. You used your arms to console yourself as you rubbed your sides for warmth. A warmth that only Katsuki could ever help you feel.

“Yeah well...a girl should think well of her father.” You said as you stepped to the side and you both turned to face Katsumi. She held her hands together by the fingers before dropping them and walking to her dad.

“Hi Katsumi.” Katsuki said with a loving, cracked voice. You all watched as Katsumi took small breath before speaking.

“...W-Why are you here? And what do you mean Mom never sold you out? What are you guys talking about?” She asked with her teary eyes.

“..I can answer all of those questions if you talk to me. In private, I’d prefer.” Bakugou said. Katsumi shook her head no before taking a few steps back.

“I don’t want to go anywhere with you.” She said.

“Katsumi,” the said girl looked to her mother who called for her. “You should talk to him.”

“What?” The Bakusquad said.

“What?” Katsumi said.

“What?” Bakugou said.

“There’s some things that you need to know.” You turned to Bakugou as you said this part. “Some things that only you can tell her. That you should tell her. .....You both can talk on the patio.”

“Mom, I don’t want to-“

“I’m not asking, Katsumi. I’m telling you. Go talk to your father. There’s something that you should know.” You sternly said to your daughter. She only stared at you for a minute before looking towards Bakugou and walking to the patio. Bakugou looked towards you and saw you nod your head for approval to follow her. Before he left he pulled you in for a hug. As much as you wanted to hate it, you couldn’t. His scent engulfed you and his warmth finally reached you after so many years. You missed him and your mind and body were quick to give in. You wrapped your arms around his neck as he held onto you by your waist. He embraced all of you and melted into your soft touch that he so dearly missed.

“Thank you, Y/N......I love you.” He whispered into your neck only for you to hear. You nodded, but he knew you still felt the same way when you squeezed him tighter. He smiled at that, and you both finally released each other before he walked to his daughter who was waiting outside.

He opened the back door to find his daughter waiting at the outdoor table. He took a seat across from her and just smiled. She’s really here. In front of him. He finally got to see not only the love of his life but his precious little girl as well.

“...It’s so good to see you, Baby Bear....you’ve grown so much.” He softly said to her. She looked up with sad, angry eyes as she glared at him.

“....Why are you here, dad?” She said in a hurt tone. Bakugou held a shaky smile as she said that word. Dad. Granted, it was no longer daddy but it was something. He loved it either way. He needed to hear it.

“A lot of reasons. To wish my daughter a happy 16th...to apologize..and explain..to see my daughter..my family-“

“We’re not your family. You left us. You don’t leave family.” Katsumi sternly interrupted.

“Right...‘I left you guys.’ ......Baby Bear-“

“Don’t call me that.”

Ouch. That hurt Katsuki’s heart. Broke it even more than it already was. “...There’s something I have to tell you. Something your mother didn’t. Something she lied to you about..to protect me.”

“What the hell are you talking about? Mom is perfect! And amazing! She would never lie to anyone especially me!” Katsumi pointed out as she raised her voice at her father.

“She really is perfect and amazing...and I was dumb enough to lose her. Katsumi...I know your mom told you that I left you both..but in reality...She..left me.” Bakugou said. It felt like lead fell onto his body as he watched his daughter fall into confusion.

“N-No...no you’re lying!” Katsumi said as she stood up and slammed her hands on the table. Katsuki didn’t flinch as he expected this reaction. “She wouldn’t! She wouldn’t tear apart our family..she..she wouldn’t do that...to..to me.” She said as her voice progressively got softer with each word. “Quit lying and just admit that you left us! That you put me and Mom through hell!” Her voice rose once more. “Was I not enough for you to stay?! What did I do that was wrong?! I thought we were the perfect family! I thought...we were happy. Was I not a good enough reason to stay? You couldn’t even try for me? For your daughter? You didn’t even take my feelings into consideration when you left. You didn’t even think about me, Dad.”

Bakugou couldn’t believe it. Your lie was supposed to protect Katsumi, but instead it installed all these insecurities she now has. His friends had told him Katsumi was finally happy..but he guessed she hid all her thoughts..just like he would. She really was his daughter. “Katsumi...it wasn’t like that.”

“You’re lying!!!” Katsumi screamed to herself as tear drops began to fall.

“Katsumi! It’s been 11 years since your mother left me and 5 since I got to see you!” He said with a hurt voice. “Do you honestly think I would wait this long, spend years to find your new home, and come all the way out here just to lie to you?” He watched as his daughter’s face fell as she realized he wasn’t lying. He watched as her faith in her mother deteriorated. He couldn’t let that happen. “Don’t be mad at her though. Be mad at me. She had every reason to leave.”

“..What did you do?” She asked unbothered. She doesn’t care about anything anymore. She doesn’t think she could get any more hurt. Her best friend and mother lied to her about something so crucial. What could possibly make it worse? Katsuki felt his heart beat all around his body. He grew nervous and his palms grew sweatier than usual.

“...I-..Katsumi..*sigh* ...I’m so sorry, Baby Bear.” He slightly sobbed. Katsumi now grew interested. She couldn’t remember much but from what she could, she doesn’t think she ever saw her father cry. Even in the worst situations, he never broke. He always put up a strong front for the world. For her.

“Dad?...” she asked as she sat up in her chair.

“....Katsumi...your mom left me..because I cheated on her.”

There it was. The truth was finally revealed to Katsumi. Plain and simple. Her E/C eyes popped as angry tears filled them. Hurt. Betrayal. Fury. All those emotions she abandoned years ago all came rushing back through her. She began to shake as her breath grew heavy. Bakugou apologized over and over with his head down. Katsumi felt her palms grow hot as they began to spark. Out of anger, she screamed and hit her father with an explosion. The same explosions she got from him.

She watched as her father flew back a few feet and cringed in slight pain. Her blast wasn’t intended to hurt him completely but was more meant to keep him at a distance. She watched as Bakugou got up from the floor and faced her again. Her tears fell heavy as a shadow casted over her eyes. Screw the distance. She ran to him and began punching his chest with everything she had. Thanks to his training, and Katsumi’s distraught state, Katsuki felt little to no pain. He could only look down in heart break as he watched his daughter become a mess due to his actions.

“H-How could you?!” She said as she continued to hit him. “How could you do that to us?! TO MOM! TO ME!” She said and finally looked to her father, showing him her tears, cherry red rose, and puffy eyes. “DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU PUT US THROUGH?! Do you have any idea what kind of hell Mom went through?! Mom doesn’t know it but I saw her face! I saw the tear streaks in the mornings, her red, swollen eyes! I saw her sadness behind her happy cover! And not to mention what I did to her! My family broke and I became a little terror. I caused Mom hell. ALL BECAUSE OF YOU, DAD! YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT I WENT THROUGH?! I had to leave my home! I had to move away from my friends! My family! I HAD TO LOSE MY FAMILY! I HAD TO LOSE YOU!!”

Inside the house, the group of friends could hear everything. All the yelling, the shouting. The anger and pain. Y/N had rivers flowing down her face as she covered her sobs with her hand. Her friends settled around her and comforted her through this horrible time. Outside, Bakugou’s face went into a slight shock at his daughter’s last sentence. “W-What?”

“I had to lose you, Dad! You think I don’t remember? You were my best friend. My idol and hero. To me, it never got better than you. ...But you did this? You betrayed Mom. You betrayed me. I love you, Dad, I still do...but I guess you never loved me or Mom.” Katsumi said as she looked down again.

“Katsumi that’s not true. I love both of you with my entire being-“

“So then why’d you do it?” His daughter asked with her voice, laced with pain.

“I was drunk and made a stupid mistake. It’s a day I completely regret because it was the day I tore apart my family and lost everything.” Bakugou said.

“Tch, you didn’t lose anything at all! You still have the house, the money, the fame, the fans. You’re still a pro, you still have everything!” Katsumi shouted.

“I don’t have you or your mother.” Silence grew at the beginning of his confession. “Like I said, you both are my entire being. Yes, I love my job and I’m grateful for everything I’ve earned and accomplished but I’d give it all up in a heartbeat if it meant I’d get to bring you and your mother back home to me. I don’t care about anything else other than the two of you. You haven’t seen me in the past 5 years and in the last 11 years when you did see me when you came over, you never saw my broken side. You never saw how distraught I was. You never saw the hell I went through because I don’t have the two of you, at home, with me.”

Bakugou stepped to his daughter and wrapped his arms around her to hold her. She allowed him to do so and began to silently cry in his chest. She refused to hold him back as her head was still in a cloud of confusion. Does she forgive him? Go back to seeing him? Try to bring her family back together? What to do, what to do.

“I’m sorry for everything I put you through Katsumi. Both you and your mother. I ruined our family and it’s something I’ve regretted for over a decade. But I won’t let you both go. I will do everything in my power to bring our family back together so we can be happy again. And I’m starting here, by telling you the truth.” Bakugou explained. Silence grew once more and Katsumi had finally made her decision.

“Well I suggest you stop trying..’cuz you’re never bringing us back.” Katsumi said as she pushed her father off of her and narrowed her eyes at him. Bakugou stared at his daughter with wide eyes.

“What?” He asked with an exasperated voice.

“You committed the ultimate betrayal. You broke Mom’s heart, betrayed me and her, and broke this family apart. You ruined us. We’ve finally picked ourselves back up and I don’t think we should let the guy who wrecked our world come back into it. ...I’m glad you came and told me the truth..thank you for that..hope you get home safe.” Bakugou was hurt but he understood where she was coming from. He watched as his daughter began to walk away but he wanted to keep her around as long as he could. He knew this probably would be the last time he would get to see her for awhile.

“I’m sorry!” He said with a sob. He watched Katsumi flinch to his sudden booming voice and turn to him. Bakugou looked at his daughter with teary eyes. “You..you turned out great. You’re the best daughter I could ever ask for. Your Mother did a great job at raising you...I just wish I could say the same.”

As Katsumi took in his words, she could feel a heavy weight fly off of her chest. “.....Woah.”

“What?” Bakugou asked.

“...F-For so long, I’ve been mad at the world. For a period of time, I was mad at mom. But for the past 11 years, I always thought I wasn’t good enough. I thought I was a problem..and I was so broken and mad,” Katsumi looked up to her father with tears at the ends of her eyes and a tiny smile. “I-...I’m not mad anymore...thanks to you.”

Katsumi ran back to her dad and wrapped her arms around him. Bakugou was shocked but felt the tears build up again. He wrapped his arms around her and held his daughter tight for as long as she would allow. Time passed and it was clear the both of them were trying to hold onto this father-daughter moment for as long as they could, but Katsumi knew it was time to let go. Before releasing her hold on her father, she allowed herself to say her farewells.

“Goodbye Daddy....I love you.” Was all she said before pulling away from her dad and walking back into the house. Bakugou watched her go and dropped his head as he allowed himself to cry in peace.

When Katsumi entered the house, she was quick to break down again and sob. She ran to her mother who immediately wrapped her arms around her sad daughter. They both held onto each other as Katsumi said her apologies.

“I’m so sorry Mom! There was a time where I blamed you and none of this was your fault. I’m so sorry!” She sobbed and you pulled her back so you could face her.

“It’s okay, Katsumi, it’s okay,” you whispered. “Don’t apologize for anything. None of this was your fault, okay?” Katsumi only nodded as you pulled her in for another hug. The Bakusquad offered to take her back up to her room so she could settle down and you nodded as you allowed your daughter to head to the comfort of her room. The Bakusquad went to help her cheer up and they of course brought the comedic genius, Kaminari, with them.

“Nothing brings more joy in sad times than a goofy uncle!” Kaminari said as the 4 of them walked up the stairs.

“I could name so many more things, Denki. Trust me.” Mina said as she walked along side him. You chuckled at their conversation as they walked up the stairs but soon, your attention was directed to the opening back door. Katsuki walked in with a sad expression but gave a happy glance once he saw you. He walked towards you and you gave him a sad smile.

“So...I guess now she knows.” You said to break the silence.

“Um...yeah..she knows.” Bakugou said as he looked towards the ground. “......Y/N..I’m so sorry,” he said looking back at you. “If I could go back in time and stop myself I would. Because then I would still have my family. My daughter....you. I’d still have you and Katsumi and we’d still be in the same house with another kid a few years younger than Katsumi and then maybe we’d have another on accident because everyone knows I can’t keep my hands to myself when it comes to you,” he joked sadly. You laughed at his fantasy and you’d be lying if you said you didn’t have similar thoughts.

“Yeah..just...maybe if things were different.” You said with your sad smile. Bakugou slowly went in to grab your hand and you allowed him as he moved in closer to you.

“I’m sorry, Teddy Bear-“

“Stop saying ‘sorry’ Katsuki,” you said as you threw your head back with your small smile still plastered on. You faced him again before speaking. “I know you’re sorry. But..there’s nothing that’s gonna change with it. Maybe it’s time for you to move on. Time for both of us to move on.”

Bakugou shook his head at the idea. “No. I know myself. I know I’ll never be able to let you both go. I’ll never be able to move on, even if I wanted to. But I am able to respect your wishes. If Katsumi doesn’t want to see me anymore....then I’ll give her what she wants.”

“I’m sorry, Katsuki.” You said in regards to your daughter.

“S’not your fault Teddy Bear. It’s mine, obviously. Just what happens when you’re an idiot.” He said, degrading himself. You giggled at his comment and went in to wrap your arms around his neck.

“Yeah..but you’re always gonna be my idiot.” You said into his neck. Bakugou held you tight and took in your intoxicating scent. He took the time to memorize the warmth you had, the way you smelt, the way you felt. How amazing it was to hold you in his arms. He drilled it all into his mind so he would never forget.

“I’m glad. ....I love you Y/N.” He said into your soft hair.

“......I love you too Katsuki.” You replied back with all the love you could give. You both pulled away to face each other but felt something immediately draw you back in. You pressed against each other closer than before as your lips slowly came in contact.

This was something Bakugou also drilled in. The way you tasted. Your sweet strawberry lips were something he would never forget. Something he could never resist. The kiss slowly grew more passionate and intense as Bakugou bit down on your bottom lip, releasing a very quiet moan from you. Quickly, he slipped his tongue in and you allowed it as you succumbed to him. The kiss was strong and Bakugou began to push you against a wall but when his hands traveled to the hill of your ass, gave it a squeeze, and you released another moan, you decided it was enough.

You pushed on Bakugou’s chest and kept him back a bit. He looked down at you in confusion but when he saw your small smile and little head shake he understood. He smiled down at you with sad eyes as he nodded. His hands returned to your waist and pulled you in for a final hug that you happily returned. He pulled away but not before giving you a sweet peck on your forehead. He finally stepped away from you and walked to the door. You followed him as you escorted him to the exit and with his hand on the knob, he opened it as he looked at you with the same sad smile that mirrored your own.

“Bye Y/N.” He said on the other side of the entrance.

“Bye Katsuki.” You said with your hand on the door. While he pulled on the knob, you lightly shut the door.

You both placed your backs on your own sides of the door and released a breath you both didn’t know you were holding. A heavy feeling finally hopped off your chests as you both looked up. You both knew that you weren’t letting each other go. That’d be impossible and you knew it. It was more of you both accepting the new reality. You loved each other, wholeheartedly and entirely, but this would have to be the end of your story together.

You’re not letting go...this is just goodbye.

[imagine-lcorp]

Trades With The Devil (One Shot)

A/N: Well hellooooooo, my dears! Gues who isn’t dead! Yes, that’s mee! so I’m back from these crazy times. As you well know I was down for a while due to covid but thankfully I’m recovered, I’ve been writing for a bit more on Patreon, so if you wanna see what I’m up to these days go to my page, promise I have some good stuff there, but most importantly dont think I’ve forgotten about you. You know how much I love you and I’m gonna try to be more active and of course finish the still long pending list of request I have. But in the meantime, please enjoy this little piece for out Halloween/Day of the Dead Celebration, which as you know, it’s tradition here in my blog. Pls enjoy and let me know what you think!! Love y’all!!

Lena Luthor x Demon!R//Word Count: 674 -------------------------------------------------------

How do you convince someone to sell their soul to the devil? 

It is easy, most of the time. Whatever thing you can offer, people will take it. Fame, fortune, power. Have it all with no questions asked. They don't care about what they could lose because they believe they have already lost. They only have one life so, what's wrong with wanting to enjoy it without a worry in the world?

It is hard too, sometimes. Some people don't want whatever it is you can offer at first try. They are thoughtful about their desires. Fame, fortune, power. They already have it, or they can get enough of that in their own terms. No need to pawn their soul for something so simple.

And there are times when it is just depressing. Once in a lifetime, you meet someone so desperate and yet so hopeful it makes you wonder what kind of sadistic games the universe is playing this time.

It happens when you meet her. A soul that still shines through the cracks. She's got everything anyone could ever desire. Fortune and power, intelligence and beauty. A combo you know many would die for if given the chance and, you're sure, she will die for it in time. And she may have it all, her money, her name, her mind, her beauty, her new found magic, but she won't be able to keep those around her safe for long.

So you offer this. Control. 

Control over this magic, which seems to be the only power keeping the end of the world at bay. Control over her destiny, that seems to be none if she cannot keep a hold of herself. She is chaos and she needs order. 

So, when she calls, you already know how it will end.

"What is it that you desire?" You speak with hushed tones and a soft voice. Alluring, inviting, within the darkness of her room.

Her green eyes wander around, spotting your shadowy figure in a corner. She takes a step away from the runes and circles she is still learning to use, and holds her mother's diary tight in her hands. 

"What can you give?" Comes the question and you smirk to yourself. 

"Would you like to see what lies beyond the veil of this world? To know what the future holds? Would you like to rule?"

"You have power." She swallows the last of her fear down.

"I do." You say, keeping yourself in the shadows of the corner. "But this, you already have." 

"I want more." She thinks about her friends and their sacrifices, and what she needs to stop them from losing anything else.

"To win this endless fight? To give solace to those in need?" You take a few steps forward, with the darkness following and engulfing the whole room, illuminated now by the single candle that stands on your name on the floor. "To rule over yourself?"

"Yes."

"That I can."

"And what do you want in exchange?"

You take the last steps towards her, and she never takes her eyes off of you as the shadow you once were turns into a figure she can understand. She feels the cold of your new hands wrap around her own as you both hold her mother's diary, and she catches her breath once the void of your eyes reach hers. 

"You know my name and, although I know your mother's, I do not know yours." You say as the diary turns bigger and heavier in her hands.

When she looks down, the book she holds is nothing but a enormous volume of hundreds and thousands of names written in blood red, overlapping each other. 

"Tell me, child." You raise a cold hand to caress her cheek. "Who are you?"

It is sad, yes, that a soul can sell itself to the devil for the right price, but how easy it is for her name to roll out of her tongue. 

"Lena Luthor."

"You are, indeed, and you will be made anew."

[subwaysurf45]

Our Home to Heal (Ep.8)

Summary:  working at the VA, you’ve found your place. helping people in the sobriety unit as well as cooking for the food bank, the VA had everything for you. Bucky Barnes has a not-so-good first impression but after dealing with a dark recent past he finds you to help him heal.

Episode: Seven

Words: 4,755

Warning: crying, angsty, showering together, throwing up

Our Home to Heal Series    II    Main Masterlist

Bucky woke up to a cold bed, you weren’t there and your pillow wasn’t imprinted which meant you had been gone for some time. It was a little nerve-wracking but he was put at ease when a white tail flicked across his face, as well as noticing the weight on his chest. Alpine was curled around Bucky’s head and Cleo was sitting with her paws tucked in on his chest, it made him giggle for a second but then wonder where you were. 

Alpine must have noticed, she stretched and found a comfier spot for herself on Bucky’s face, allowing just enough oxygen for Bucky. He reached up and pulled her down so she was curled around his neck but her paw reached up and found a spot on his lips. His left hand began to stroke Alpine and his right scratched under Cleo’s chin, they both began to purr. He’d read online how purring was its own kind of medicine, it reduced stress and helped with depression. The cats must have noticed before Bucky did, but something was going on. 

There were no thoughts this time around, his brain felt empty. But there was no motivation, he felt tired and sluggish most of the time and nothing seemed to be helping. Bucky knew you’d picked up on it because the amount of times he’s been asked if he was okay was only going up, yesterday was thirteen times. There were only two more days until Christmas, you were excited, Bucky was not. It must be the ideas of the holidays and the ‘togetherness’ everyone was preaching that was the beginning, but the lack of sun was another. 

Thankfully, he’d already gone out to buy your gift because there was no drive to get out of bed these days. Bucky had bought you a winter jacket, fully insulated and it had a hood. The compensation Bucky had received as a presidential apology was a lot, there was also a yearly fund he’d received when he agreed to only talk about his Winter Soldier days with Dr. Raynor and no one else, including the press- especially the press. But he always felt guilty when he spent it, but not with you. He’d buy the world and pay extra for the bow just to see the way your face would light up, he couldn’t wait to see how’d you react when seeing the jacket he bought you. 

Alpine started to move again, she moved back onto Bucky’s face. “Why do you like it here so much?” he asked as he picked her up, this time she was fully covering his mouth and nose. As he held up the small creature she looked deeply into his eyes, it made Bucky uncomfortable for a moment. The small cute face blinked very slowly, holding its eyes closed for seconds. Bucky responded the same way, his eyes closed for a few seconds before opening. But while his eyes were closed his mind painted a very familiar picture, the coffee shop you two had gone to. 

“I’ve always wanted a cat,” Bucky admitted, “maybe a white one, short hair, but cool coloured eyes.” 

“Why don’t you go to the shelter and nap one up?” you lifted your cup but found it was empty, sadly you placed it back down. 

“I’ve,” Bucky sighed, his smile slowly fading, “I’ve had other pressing matters.”

“Huh…” Bucky slowly brought the cat down, hugging it tightly in his arms. Cleo managed to squeeze in there too. He sat up straight at the sound of your voice that came from the kitchen, both cats ran off at how fast Bucky got out of bed. 

“Pops?” Bucky heard you say, “how the hell did you get my number? You know I’m not supposed to be talking to you over the phone…I get that…actually, yes I do…I’m aware you’re worried about Phoenix, but there’s nothing I can tell you,” there was a pause and Bucky left the bedroom, at the sound of the door opening you turned around and gave a sad smile. “Pops, listen to me, if I tell you where she is I’m violating my boss’s rules and the VA’s rules.”

“What’s wrong?” Bucky whispered but you just shook your head. 

“Please, just spend time with your family- yes, I know she’s family to you, I know…” He watched you stare into his chest as you listened, “and I’m also very upset but all we can do is just hope she finds her way, which she will, we all know she will…” you paused again “yeah, and pray, you pray for the two of us, alright?” soon after you hung up. 

“What happened?” Bucky took your phone from your hand and placed it on the counter, slowly guiding you over to the couch. 

You had been woken up to text messages and phone calls from Pops, you had no idea how he got your number but you but he wasn’t letting you off the hook. “There was a lady who relapsed in my session, I told you about this, and Pops, the guy on the phone, was bugging me to get the address for the rehab center. But I can’t give that to him, he doesn’t understand it.” you sighed and leaned over to Bucky, letting your head fall on his shoulder. 

“How old is he?” Bucky rubbed your back. 

“Old,” you looked up at him, “he fought in World War Two.” 

The mention of pills was the tip of the iceberg, the Winter Soldier was a little deeper, but the war was the lowest and hardest hit he would take. 

You felt Bucky grow rigid, you slowly looked up. “What?” 

“The war,” Bucky whispered. 

“Do you want me to not talk about it?” you asked, sitting up and fully taking in his discomfort. 

“Did he say his name?” Bucky didn’t answer and kept his gaze away from yours. 

“I think I have his paperwork at my office but he’s been in my session for years, he only goes by Pops because that’s what his grandkids call him.” You rubbed your hands down Bucky’s side, back and forth, to try and snap him out of his staring off into space. “Are you still here?”

Bucky shook his head and looked down, “yeah,” he breathed out a laugh, “yeah, I’m still here.” 

“Good,” you kissed his stubble and walked into the kitchen, “what do you want for breakfast?” You went to the coffee pot but turned around when Bucky didn't respond, “Bucky?” you asked again, he was staring at the wall like he was before. 

“Eggs please,” he commented weakly. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” you walked back over and placed your hands on his face to make sure he kept looking at you, “I can work from home today, all I have is emails.” 

His hands found their home on your waist, “no, go into work, doll. I’ll be fine,” when he saw you weren’t convinced he placed a kiss on your forehead, “seriously.” 

Bucky ate his eggs in silence, his eyes staring at the boring countertop. You’d ask him a question or comment on the snow melting and he’d barely acknowledge you, nodding his head with a shaky hum. There was a neon sign pointing at Bucky at this point, in bright letters it read I AM ON EDGE. But you acted like it wasn’t there to make sure Bucky didn’t get insecure about his spacing out. 

“Why don’t you come to work with me,” you walked out of your bathroom with your toothbrush hanging out of your mouth. 

“Doll, I’m fine,” Bucky shook his head and picked up the book on the coffee table. He began reading, flipping the pages too quickly. “I think I’m going to read today.” 

“You’ve already read that book,” you walked closer to him, “you finished it last week.”

Bucky cleared his throat and slowly looked up at you, “it’s a good read...?” the excuse came out as a question, that’s how unsure he was. 

You took the toothbrush out of your mouth and pointed it at him, “Bring your book to my office, you can read and I’ll make tea, we can have lunch and I can introduce you to more people and you can bring Alpine.” Bucky’s mouth opened to try and combat what you said, “no questions, you’re coming.” 

“Copy that,” Bucky muttered as you walked back to the washroom. He looked over to see Alpine looking at him with a tilted head, “what?” Alpine walked over and took a spot on his lap, “I can’t go!” Bucky yelled, “Alpine just got comfy on my lap, oh no!” he faked the sarcasm. 

“Put her in your jacket, the VA is a pet-friendly zone,” you were putting on your flannel jacket and standing at the door. “Look, Bucky…” you sighed and walked over, “I’m not going to pretend to understand how you’re feeling at the mention of the war,” you saw him suck in a breath, “but what I do know is that your hand was shaking when you were eating and you lost balance when you sat down, not to mention the way your hand missed the book when you tried to grab it.”

Bucky lowered his head like a schoolboy getting scolded by his teacher, “I know,” he whispered, “it’s just… never mind.” he looked up at you, “I’ll go, and I’ll bring my book and leave Alpine here.” 

“Medea has books in her room if you really want a new read,” you walked to the closet and grabbed Bucky’s leather jacket. 

“I’ll do that then,” he smiled as he put on his jacket and flicked the collar to fix it. 

When you walked into the VA you were greeted by smiles and waves, you waved back and smiled when people recognized Bucky. He didn’t know how to respond so he just nodded to them, too in awe to smile. You could feel your face heat up when Bucky unlocked the door for you, holding it open and gently smacking your butt as you walked in. you’d normally use your desk for workdays like these but because Bucky was sitting on the chairs so you chose to sit next to him, allowing him to drop his head on your shoulder or read the emails you were writing. 

The coffee pot in your room in the VA was worse than the one at home, it was louder and took way longer to get to the finished product. At one point you saw the one you currently own at home in the thrift store, it was on sale, you bought it then demoted the bad coffee pot to VA duties. The same happened with the kettle, and one day when you get a new coffee maker or electric kettle the ones at home will move here, on the little cart you’ve been using for years. 

“I’m going to go see Medea and find a book,” Bucky stood up after making it halfway through his coffee and ten pages in his book. You were right, he had just finished it and told you he didn’t like the plot. 

You turned back to your computer and typed away again, finalizing the plans for next year’s food bank and who it would be partnering with. Some grocery chains fall apart and some of the nearer stores can’t fulfill their orders so things need to be changed, partnerships need to fall through and new ones need to be made. Most people who worked at the VA had other jobs, working part-time. That was never in the cards for you, this place was your home and every day all you wanted to do was help the people who use the VA’s service, not caring how much you got paid. All the extra things you do for the VA showed up on your paycheck, that was what made rent. 

“I’m sorry,” you heard a scruffy voice come from your doorway. 

“Pops?” you placed your computer beside you, “you can’t be here.” 

“I know, I just-”

“Pops,” you sighed, “I can’t give you any information, I really can’t. I know how hard that is, but there is nothing I can do!” you exasperated, the man wasn’t leaving you alone. 

All that flatlined when Pops replied, “I came to say I’m sorry,” he gripped his new cane, “I was being hot-headed and I thought I could pry it out of you, but I was just scared and I let it out on you.” he walked up and stretched out a shaky hand, “forgive me?” He presented a gift card to a coffee shop, the shop that supplies the coffee beans for your sessions. 

“Of course,” you looked down to see the card, running your fingers over it. Before you could respond you heard something fall. You looked up to see Bucky standing in the doorway, both hands pressed against the doorframe and his book on the ground. “Bucky-” you didn’t know what you were going to say. 

Pops turned around, he paused for a few moments but you couldn’t see Pops’ face. You saw Bucky looking right at him, mouth slightly opened and eyes bugged out. Though Pops’ back was to you, you could tell he was shaking. 

Pops turned back to you, “you know I take blood thinners and sometimes they say you can get hallucinations,” Pops’ hand was shaking while holding his cane, “am I crazy or is that Sergeant James Barnes from the war?” his eyes were filled with tears. 

You stood there in shock, the air was still and it seemed you couldn't breathe. Bucky had walked around Pops and stood beside you, you heard Pops whimper at the movement of the so-called ghost. 

“I’m real,” Bucky spoke softly, tears running down his face, “Ernest?” Bucky placed his hand on top of the one holding the came, “Ernie, I know this is a lot but you’re not going crazy. It’s me, Bucky Barnes, James Buchanan Barnes.” 

“Bucky?” Pops turned his head to look at Bucky, “what happened to you?” 

“That’s a loaded question,” Bucky laughed and placed a hand on Pops’ back, guiding him to the seats. Both men wiped away their tears as they sat beside each other. “You might remember that mission where we went to that train?” 

“Yes,” Ernie nodded, “you fell off, you’re supposed to be dead.” 

You slowly moved to sit across from them, silently monitoring both of them. Your hands twisted in your hoodie and your leg was bouncing, this could go south very quickly. Offering Pops a coffee would be a bad thing, hyping him up on caffeine while he was speaking to someone he thought was dead would lead to a hospital run. 

Bucky explained it all, answering the questions Ernest cut in with. Bucky would look at you and back at him, making sure you were still there. When he got to the end of his story Ernie just sat there, looking between you and Bucky, his eyes squinting every time. 

“How much do you remember?” Ernie asked. 

“Which part?” Bucky responded softly. 

“The war,” Pops tilted his head, “you remember hacky sack?”

“I was the winner.” 

“The forest game?” 

“I was the winner of that too.”

“What about the stick and poke?”

Bucky rolled up his pant leg, there was a black dot on his right calf that was faded. He pointed to it and Ernie looked up at Bucky in surprise. “How could I forget?” Bucky laughed, “I stole the needles from that nurse you wanted to sleep with.” 

All three of you laughed, Pops leaning in a clapping Bucky on the shoulder. “It really is you, James.” he shook his head in disbelief. “Did you know I ended up marrying that nurse?” Pops placed his cane beside him, indicating he was staying for a while. 

Bucky laughed and wiped his face, “Deloris?” 

“Three kids together, I got seven grandkids,” Pops laughed and reached into his back pocket, pulling out his wallet. “So there’s Da’, and that’s my oldest, George, my middle, Jane, and my youngest son… his name is James.” Pops looked up, “after you, son.”

Bucky’s lips pressed to a thin line, his nostrils flared. A round of tears collected on his water line and he tried to fight against it, shaking his head and covering his face. You reached across and took hold of one of his hands. Pops repeated the name ‘son’ again and Bucky cried, even more, sobbing as Ernie rubbed his back and you held his hand. 

“I called him son during the war,” Ernie said to you, “he really was a son to me,” his attention turned back to Bucky, “and you always will be.” 

“Thank you,” Bucky barely made a clear word, just blabbering. 

“My grandkids are Michael, who is eighteen, and Lucy, who is sixteen. Then from Jane, she had three, there’s Tia, who’s seventeen, Chantelle, who’s fifteen, and then there’s Destiny who’s thirteen.” Ernie pointed to all the little kids in the picture, “and James has two kids, he’s got two boys, one is five and his name is Dylan and he’s got a two-year-old,” he pointed to the child who was the only one being held in the picture, “who’s name is Cameron and his middle name is Buchanan,” Pops kept going even though Bucky moved his hands to grip his hair, “and do you know what nickname he goes by?” 

“Oh god,” Bucky cried.

“We call him Bucky,” Pops patted Bucky’s back, “I call him Junior.” 

“Why?” Bucky looked up, his face was red and his eyes were puffy. 

“My son did research on who he was named after, we named our kids after people we loved. He found you online and in museums and then talked to me about you. I kept calling you Bucky and he liked it so he made sure his newborn’s middle name was Buchanan.” 

“But why did you name your son after me?” Bucky’s hand was flat against this chest, “you named your son after a Hydra test subject-” 

“Bucky,” you had cut in.

“-and a mass murderer.” 

Pops shook his head, “I don’t remember telling you my son’s name was the Winter Soldier. His name is James, after the fine young man I met during the war.” Bucky had stopped crying but his eyes were full of emotion, “I named him after the man who helped take down that purple giant, and everything you do for the world now.” Right as he finished his phone rang, the flip phone was opened. “Hello, Da. Yes, yes… I’m on my way now, I just ran into an old friend…I'll tell you when I get home.” 

Pops hung up and stood, Bucky stood with him. They hugged and you pulled out your phone, snapping a picture for the two of them. Bucky waved goodbye and Ernie smiled, shaking Bucky’s hand one last time. The door closed and the room was silent, Bucky stood staring at the door. 

You didn’t know what to say, you just stood there and watched him. He slowly turned to you, the floors creaking as his weight shifted. His eyes were wide and his face was still blotchy, his chest was beginning to move faster than normal. 

“Bucky?” you asked, stepping closer to him, “are you with me?” 

“Am I dead?” he whispered. 

“No,” you quickly placed your hands on his face, “you’re alive, I know that was a lot, but you did so well, baby, so good.” 

“I’m going to throw up,” Bucky slowly went to sit down, his hands coming up and rubbing his face. 

You ran over to the trash can and picked it up, dumping the sticky notes onto the floor. “Here you go,” you kneeled in front of him. Your hands held the sides and kept it in place, his hands sat on top of yours, his knees squeezing the can between his legs. 

“How’s that-oh god!” Medea had walked in, “I’ll go get water,” she ran out and closed the door. 

“I’m going to pass out,” Bucky shut his eyes tightly, “or throw up, I can’t tell.” 

“Whatever it is,” you said softly, “I’ll be here with you, if you pass out I’ll make sure no one steps foot into this room, alright?” Bucky nodded and you kept the can steady, “if you have to let it out, let it out, I can clean that easily. You’d be surprised how many people have thrown up in this room, you’re not the first.” You laughed but it seemed didn’t even hear you, his eyes were glued to the bottom of the black trash can. 

As the door opened and Medea ran in, Bucky lurched forward, he brought the can closer to his face. The can echoed his gag and the contents hitting the bottom. His hands squeezed yours while his body rocked back and forth, not twitching when Medea started rubbing his back. Bucky slowly sat up, you quickly leaned in and wiped away the piece of his breakfast from his lips. His face was green and his eyes were hooded, he could barely register Medea in the room. 

“Great job, love,” you kissed his forehead, “any more?” you pushed the bucket towards him. 

“No,” his voice was stuffy. His daze he didn’t meet your eyes, only looking at your shirt. 

“Take some water,” you took the open bottle from Medea. With your hands you guided the spout to his lips, his hands closed around yours again to help stabilize the water bottle. “Don’t drink too much,” you warned as he chugged the entire bottle. 

“Let me clean this,” Medea reached for the bucket. 

“No!” Bucky leaned in and blocked her from taking the bucket, “that’s gross, I’ll clean it myself.”

Medea laughed, “do you know how many times someone was thrown up in my room?” 

“That’s what I said,” you laughed, “ you can trust Medea, there are bathrooms three doors down and even if someone walks by-” 

“I’ll say I’m pregnant and someone ate eggs,” Medea cut in, “I use that one all the time.” She picked up the bucket and walked out of the room, “I'll be back.” 

“Did she just-” Bucky cut his questioning off, “what the fuck,” he whimpered. 

“Let’s go home,” you rubbed Bucky’s cheek, feeling the subtle scratch on your palm. 

Medea came to drop off the can, Bucky didn’t look in her eyes when she was reassuring him that she’s done that before. Her arms opened and she waited, Bucky looked up and then quickly flicked his eyes back down. After a curt nod, Medea slowly pulled Bucky into a hug, you kept a hand on Bucky’s back to make sure he knew you were still there. The hug was quick and friendly, Bucky was the first to pull away. 

Bucky carried your bag all the way home, he didn’t say much even with prompting. When you both got home Alpine ran up to Bucky and basically climbed up his pants and into his arms, you found Cleo curled in her bed and gave her a kiss. As you added food to both their bowls Bucky murmured he was going to shower, he didn’t even wait for you to say anything. 

The sound of the water turning on was a good sign, he wasn’t just hiding out in the bathroom. You got some sweatpants and his favourite hoodie that you had been wearing for a while, part of you wondered if he’d mind you walking in to drop it off. 

“Bucky?” you knocked on the door. 

“Yep?” his voice cut over the water hitting his body and tiles. 

“I have some clothes for when you come out, can I just drop them off?” your hand grasped the door handle but didn’t turn it. 

“Sure,” it wasn’t the most exciting answer but it was an answer nonetheless. 

“They're right here on the toilet seat, alright?” you patted the sweater even though it made noise to indicate you had actually touched it. 

With no answer you took it as your cue to leave him alone, your hand twisted the door handle but froze when you heard the smallest, “wait,” come from behind the shower curtain. His shadow was unmoving, you could see his head down. “Would you…” he sighed, you could see his hand come up to wipe his face, “can you- would you like to- god…” he trailed off again, “do you want to join me… in here?” the shower curtain moved like he was tapping the sheet between the two of you. 

The question wasn’t what you expected, your brain went everywhere but there. “Sure,” you whispered and began taking off your clothes. 

The shower curtain was pulled back and you stepped in, keeping your head low. As the curtain was closed and the rain began to soak you, you looked up. His eyes were dropping and his shoulders were slumped, a crease stayed between his eyebrows. 

“Sweetheart,” you sighed and reached up to rub his forehead, trying to get rid of the worry lines, “I don’t like seeing you this exhausted.” 

“Imagine feeling this exhausted,” he whispered back, his voice wasn’t at the normal volume since you got home. 

Without asking, you reached over and grabbed his shampoo, a small smile graced his lips. With your hands full of suds you reached up and began massaging his scalp, his eyes fluttered closed. There seemed to be a magnet on your hips because his hands always went there, his thumbs brushing your bare skin. Sweet nothings blended with the steam coming up in the shower, relaxing Bucky to a point where he almost fell asleep standing up. His face was still pale from throwing up but a blush reached the tips of his ears when you whispered how pretty he was for the third time, you earned a squeeze to your hips after that. 

His hair was washed but before you could turn the shower off he pulled you in for a hug, his nose right up against your neck. This was as vulnerable he’d ever been, sure there were hot and steamy make out sessions but the sexual intimacy was surface level compared to hugging in the shower after a hard day. 

“We should do this more often,” you whispered and felt the muscles up his back. 

“We should,” he mumbled back. 

“I can tell from your heart rate you want to tell me something,” your hand pulled out of the hug, Bucky’s eyes stayed cast on the ground. A hand came up and brushed the water droplets off his face even though they came back in seconds. 

“I…” his thought disappeared with a huff, “Medea’s very kind,” he stated, “and I’m guessing she’s even kinder during her sessions, and I… I want to see…” Bucky cleared his throat and looked up to the ceiling, his throat bobbed as he swallowed, “I would like to join her amputee group sessions,” as his sentence finished he looked down. 

The widest smile you had ever given graced your face, “really?” you gasped, “that’s amazing, Bucky, I’m so proud of you,” you leaned back in and placed a kiss on his lips before hugging him tightly. “So, so proud.” 

“I forget why I hated that place, refused to step in it,” Bucky spoke even though he was talking to the shower wall, “after meeting the people in that building I realized you guys do a lot of healing, I’ve patched so many wounds because of you and I think I should take the final step on my own and go to the group sessions.” 

“That’s amazing, love,” you pulled away and kissed his forehead.

“All because of you,” his head tilted to the side and his lips pulled back to a smile. 

“No,” you shook your head and gripped his shoulders, “I gave you a little push in the beginning but you’re the one who took off and ran with it, and that is what I am most proud of.” 

“You flatter me.” 

“It takes a lot to knock Bucky Barnes down, and when he does, he gets right back up and keeps going.” he wanted to kiss you, his hands running up your bare back and cupping your shoulder blades, “and that’s what makes him so fucking amazing.” 

His left hand cupped your cheek and you leaned into it, “I never thought I’d be here, y’know, standing in a shower with my girlfriend,” Bucky smirked, “I never thought I’d be alive after that one night, but here I am. healing.” 

Bucky was home, no matter where he was as long as it was with you it was considered home. 

NEXT EPISODE

A/N: thank you all so much for 400 followers! you guys have no idea how happy I am to be writing and that it’s getting this amount of traction, I can’t really believe it. thank you, thank you, thank you!

-Rambo <3

If you would like to be added to the series taglist or my general tag list you can comment below, send an ask, or even personal message me!

tag list:  @imtherain @jackiehollanderr @redneckstrash @tylard-blog1 @readingbooksdrinkingtea @linzc-reader @hotleaf-juice @honeybunchesofbucky @sky0401 @striving4averagegirl @seybox @yaszx @happyt0exist​ 

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[funkytoesart]

My Spiderman: Into the Spiderverse OC, Riley May Stacey! She’s the daughter of Miles Morales and Gwen Stacey.

Some headcanons I have about Riley under the cut :)

Note: in this au/story idea I’m banking on the theory that the main spider-people from the movie have at least some capability to travel to each other’s dimensions, at least for a limited time, to help each other out and y’know, at least in Miles and Gwen’s case, go on dates and stuff. However, I also feel like if this was the case, if they stayed too long in a dimension that was not their own, they would start to disintegrate, so it's of course not the best option for inter-dimensional couples.

She was 100% a surprise baby. Gwen and Miles had her in their mid to late twenties or so, and while they were starting to entertain the idea of a family, which, given the fact that they were both spider-people/superheroes and the fact that they lived in, y’know, two different dimensions and couldn’t physically settle down with each other, it was more wishful thinking on their part than something that they had any actual intention of fulfilling. So when Gwen became pregnant, it was a huge shock and while they were nervously excited about becoming parents, they were also a bit like “How is this going to work?” both with the pregnancy itself and with the issue of child rearing from two different dimensions, etc, especially since they kinda assume at first that their daughter will grow up exclusively in Gwen’s dimension, since that’s where Gwen was (exclusively) during the pregnancy and birth, etc.

Because Gwen would A. start to disintegrate if she stayed in Mile’s dimension too long, and because they were worried that if she did start the process of disintegration, the baby might be some of the first cells to do so, she stayed in her own dimension and did not leave it during the length of the pregnancy (once she found out). This was super hard on Miles, bc, y’all know Miles, he would want to be present for the entirety of the pregnancy and be there for Gwen the whole time, and let’s just say it destroyed him that he wasn’t able to be, and only able to visit for short visits here and there.

Riley May was born with a superpower! In part because she has DNA from two different dimensions, she has the ability to “Dimension Hop/Jump'' without many side effects, aka disintegration. Fun fact: She starts dimension hopping at around two or three years old, but thankfully the first place she "hops" to is her dad’s apartment.

She has an easier time hopping to places she’s been before, or near people (or versions of people) she’s met or knows.

As far as she knows (which is an important distinction lol), there are no other versions of herself, meaning she is, theoretically, one of a kind!

When Miles’ parents found out about the pregnancy, it actually caused a huge, and I mean, HUGE, problem between him and his dad. Miles’ dad strikes me as the type of father who would, upon hearing that his son got his girlfriend pregnant, would expect, if not demand, that his son “Do the right thing” and take responsibility, marry the girl, and be an active parent in his child’s life. Problem is, Miles can’t exactly explain and say “Hey, you know Gwen, my years long girlfriend who you’re all fond of but who suddenly stopped coming around every once in a while--well, it’s because she’s pregnant as you know, but what you don’t know is that if she stays here too long for a visit she might die, our baby would most definitely die, because she’s from another dimension, and because of this we can’t get married legally, and I’m not even sure if our child will be able to travel to this dimension so I probably can’t be an active part of their lives, and by the way, I’m Spiderman!” so to his dad, he’s just flaking on his girlfriend/child and he doesn't understand why Miles doesn't’ just “Man Up” and do the right thing, and of COURSE Miles wants nothing more than to marry Gwen and be an active part of their daughters’ life, and like,, Miles literally sinks into a depression during the pregnancy and the months/year following Riley’s birth, bc he’s literally so gutted that he can’t actually be a proper family with Gwen and Riley. So yeah, Miles has it rough :’(

Anyway, I’m rewatching into the spiderverse today and it’s making me think about this story idea/characters a lot :’)

[gurlwithluvx3]

never alone (1) | OT7

Pairing: friendships w/ OT7 and pregnant!reader (non-idol!AU)

Genre: angst, oc finding herself

Warnings: brief mention of sex, anxiety/depression, feeling of loneliness, talks of pregnancy, navigating an unexpected pregnancy

Word count: ~1.3K

A/N: i started this fanfic when i thought i was pregnant (very important for y'all to practice safe sex, srs) and i know that my ex would be a dead-beat, toxic man who wouldn't step up and just added the boys because i know that they would support me x3

Masterpost | (1) (2)

Masterlist

—

Never in a million years did you see yourself in the position you’re in today. Yet here you are at the doctor’s office, waiting for your doctor. Alone and pregnant. Five weeks pregnant to be exact.

This was definitely not what you had put on your vision board a year ago, when you were in a stable relationship with the man of your dreams, working your way up for the company you’ve worked for the past 4 years. 

It’s funny how things turn out. It’s funny how you thought that your boyfriend was going to be the love of your life for the rest of your life. But instead you find out that your dreams and aspirations didn’t align and he wanted out. He loved you, but not enough to give you what you deserved - and what you wanted was to settle down. 

It ruined you. The first few days, weeks, and months. But eventually you learned to let go. You learned to focus on yourself and heal. And it was working because you were striving. Until one night you were out with your girls at your go-to bar when he spots you.

He’s already wasted but sits nearby with his guys only to get more wasted. He provoked you to drink, triggering you to get drunk yourself. You get drunk enough to dance with him to be cordial. But one thing led to another and soon enough you’re making out in the bathroom, leading to more.

He has you wrapped around his fingers, right where he needs you to be. Vulnerable and willing, as he whispers sweet nothings into your ear causing you to give into temptation. 

You know you shouldn’t, but how can you resist your “true love”? What if this is the universe’s way of saying you’re meant to get back together. Out of all the bars downtown, you both end up here. So you cave, though it didn’t take too much to stop you. Almost a year of healing went down the drain as you’re here with your ex. 

The sex was amazing and so intense, you and your ex almost go a second round. But you don’t because he stops the both of you. He cleans up after himself, kisses you and says goodbye, and then leaves. He leaves the bathroom stall, then the bar, and eventually your life (although at this moment you didn’t know). 

You’re under his spell again and didn’t realize it until the next day when you try to reach out to him. And that leads into the following week as you sit and contemplate on the mistake you made. Which leads into the next month when you’re constantly throwing up and feeling nauseous. You’ve taken a handful of tests and finally saw your doctor who confirmed your situation and all you can think about is him. 

But you can’t get a hold of him because he ghosted you. You tried going to his apartment, but realized that he moved out. You’ve tried contacting his family and closest friends, but you always reach the same dead end. And so the best thing you can do is give up trying. 

So here you are at the doctor’s office, alone and afraid. You had a plan and this was definitely not what you envisioned for yourself. But thankfully your doctor isn’t one to judge. She’s probably seen over hundreds of girls in the same predicament.

She’s so gracious and caring that she carefully goes through your options with no hesitation. And as enticing as those options sound, you know in your heart of hearts you’re going to keep it. You know deep down you would never forgive yourself because this was your own doing. 

After crying for a couple of minutes, you and your doctor carefully talk about your plans, health, and pregnancy and every question/doubt that comes to mind. If there’s one thing to be grateful for in this lifetime, it would be your doctor. 

How did you let this happen to yourself? You thought to yourself as you made your way back to work with a million thoughts racing in your mind. 

Like how are you going to afford making a living for two when you can barely afford to make it yourself? You’re deep in thought as you step off the train that you didn’t realize you were crying in public. 

And suddenly you’re met with a man’s chest, as your vision is clouded and your mind is far from where you are. 

“I am so sorry” the man you bump into says, before looking up to him. He offers a half smile showing off his dimple until he sees your current state of mind and suddenly backs off and assesses you even further. 

“Are you okay, miss?” He asks with much concern on his face. 

You’re trying to keep yourself from crying more as you’re nodding your head silently, avoiding this man’s gaze. 

He takes a handkerchief from his pocket and passes it to you. And he does so just in the nick of time because out of nowhere you become nauseous to where you almost threw up right in front of him.

“Okay miss, let’s find you a restroom or maybe a place to sit?” He asks you as he leads you away from the crowd and tries to find a restroom. 

“I just need to sit” is all you can say before gagging into the handkerchief. He rushes you to the empty bench and sits right next to you as he pulls out a water bottle from his sling bag. 

“I haven’t opened this one yet. You definitely need this more than me” he says with a nervous chuckle. 

You take a deep breath before taking the water and basically chugging half of it down. And for the first time you look into this man’s eyes. 

“I’m Namjoon by the way, Joonie for short” he says as he catches you staring at him. “Miss, are you going to be okay?” He says as he suddenly looks at his watch.

Completely unaware of how late you’re going to work, you quickly stand up and nod. “Omg yes, thank you. I am so sorry for the inconvenience Joonie” you say trying to gather all your belongings. 

“No, it’s okay. I still have time if you need help” he offers but you kindly deny his help, with your office being only 2 blocks away from here. 

“I appreciate all the help, and I’m so sorry for taking both your water and napkin” you say with a hint of guilt and embarrassment. 

“Honestly, the train makes me nauseous too sometimes. Especially in the morning when I haven’t eaten anything” he says now rubbing his stomach. “Is that something you experience too?”

There’s no way in hell that you would tell a stranger your current situation. Not when you look and feel like a hot mess. So you just joke around about your commute for a minute. 

“Well it was nice to meet you Namjoon. And thank you again” you say with a warm smile that captures his attention. “I’m Y/N by the way”.

His face lit up and you suddenly felt warmth around your chest. Or maybe it can be heartburn, but who knows at this point?

“I hope to see you around Y/N, take care!” He yells before walking up the stairs and into the concrete jungle of San Francisco, where you quickly follow. 

And as you make your way up the stairs, you look at your surroundings and take in a deep breath. For the first time since you took your first pregnancy test, you feel that it’ll all work out for the best and that you’ll be okay. 

Feeling the cold morning air, and making your way out with the rest of the commuters, all you can think at this moment is that you’re alive and that’s enough for you.

[saintobio]

i swear– i mostly side with gojo at this point of the story, but keyword: mostly, because at the same time, i can still understand y/n's perspective on why she did the things she did. it's so hard to stay on one side when you're able to see the whys of both.

did we forget the things gojo went through his childhood that lead him to the bad things he did in SN? yes, i fully understand that his misery can't justify how badly he treated y/n, but i also understand that he's human. the trauma he experienced when he was a kid managed to haunt him til adulthood, hence why even though i also hated him during the times where he was a jerk, i also couldn't fully do it because of what he went through. tbh i think that's just me, since i take pity easilyjchjax but idk about the others.

y/n on the other hand, she endured so much bullshit from what sera and gojo threw on her, even then she remained patient. what they did even caused her to have an illness that could be life threatening if sera and gojo continued (which they didn't thankfully and gojo woke up). let's not forget the amount of backlash and attention the media has on her. i can only imagine how much pressure she was going through, and i can see why it would've lead her to the decision of hiding sachiro. she not only wanted to protect herself, but her son. imagine being a kid and experiencing all the negativity that surrounds your family. it was the first selfish thing she's done, and i don't think she deserves all the backlash from both the readers and the media.

remember when i said i mostly side with gojo? well yeah that's because even tho we all know how wrong and messed up the shit he did before, did we forget how hard he tried to repent for all of it? he cheated, yes i know, but the way he's suffering now feels too much. he's a broken man, who still tried to fix the things he did, he himself knows how much he is to blame. he acknowledges the shits he did and tried so hard to correct his mistakes.

i know he did wrong, but the way he fell into deep depression to the point where he tried to k*ll himself multiple times and his mom had to isolate him from everyone just to heal, and then only to find out that his son is alive, the son he looked forward to see, the son he was so happy about, the son whose first steps he missed, the son whose first words he missed, it doesn't feel like he deserved that to be stripped away from him. everyone's saying "it's just karma doing it's job." but it feels like it's more than what karma he actually deserved.

at this point it's hypocrisy. everyone said that "just because he suffered from his childhood, it doesn't give him the right to project his suffering to others.", but then they saw the hardship y/n went through and now they're going "gojo deserves whatever karma he gets." isn't that just contrasting what was said about him first?

they both suffered so much, and i don't think anyone should compare who suffered more. i swear some people just refuse to see how gojo also had his own problems, and how much he tried to repent for it. it feels unfair.

now some people are hating on momjo too? so many people were justifying y/n decision to hide sachi because it was for both her and sachi's sake. so many people sided with gen saying "as a big sister, i can relate with how overprotective she is with y/n." why can't momjo be the same? is everyone just forgetting gojo's her son? he was literally on his deathbed, her not knowing if her son would wake up or not (which he did, phew), of course she'd be protective over him.

if y/n's dad did the same shit like momjo to protect y/n from gojo, everyone would immediately side with y/n's dad. my point is, please just– try to understand each perspective. it feels like everyone is just being spiteful towards the gojos now because they're y/n.

and honestly i'm glad i can see some who are still able to understand both sides and not just hating on a character from spite. sorry for the word vomit by the way i got carried away jfhajbfa–

happy you're back tho saint! be sure to take care of yourself always, don't be pressured to write and don't forget that you can take breaks as well!<3

this is what an unbiased perspective looks like. although you side with gojo, you don’t fail to acknowledge yn’s side and tried to see why she may have done the things she did. this is rly great to hear.

also someone pointed this out on the replies and they made a very good take on the situation. i think it relates to ur ask as well so:

we have readers who feel angry towards yn, gojo, gen, and momjo respectively but it’s actually gratifying to see that most of you guys still find a reason to understand why character a did this and why it led character b to do this. the amount of thought and analysis u guys are putting into this fic amazes me !!! 🥲