#is based on a misunderstanding of the differences

[minh907]

Foolish?

(Yandere?) Obsessed!Jinwoo x Fem!Reader.

In which Jinwoo was too blind in love....

_____________

The Hunter Association headquarters buzzed with activity as you submitted your latest mission report. Your team had finished clearing the B-rank dungeon successfully when you returned exhausted yet satisfied with your victory. The pleasurable feeling vanished when you sensed the distinctive skin-prickling sensation at the base of your neck.

He was watching you again.

Without turning your head you could sense Jinwoo watching you from a hidden spot because his eyes tracked your every step. The stalking had continued for multiple weeks since you were assigned to work together on that joint raid. At first, you tried to be polite about it -he was, after all, the infamous S-rank hunter, the strongest hunter in Korea. But his initial flattering behavior shifted into something intimidating.

He remained in the same spot after you finished your paperwork while leaning against the wall with a smile that made you feel uncomfortable.

"Having a hard day?" he asked, walking beside you.

"Hunter Sung," you said stiffly, quickening your pace. "I'm really tired. I want to go home. Alone."

His smile didn't waver. "I'll take you home. It's dangerous for someone like you to be out alone after dark."

"Someone like me?" You stopped, anger bubbling up. "I'm a A-rank hunter. I can handle myself."

In Jinwoo's mind, Igris felt uncomfortable. "My liege, it's obvious she want to be alone. Maybe we should respect her boundaries."

But Jinwoo saw your glinting eyes and flushed cheeks as signs of passion rather than anger. He reached toward your arm to say "You're fierce. The thing that I appreciate most about you is your fierce nature."

Your body pulled away from his attempt to reach out. "Don't. I told you, I'm not interested. Please don't follow me anymore."

Behind Jinwoo, the darkness rippled as Bellion emerged just enough for his king to see. "My liege, this pursuit is getting worrying. The human has rejected your offers multiple times."

But another shadow darted excitedly around Jinwoo's feet - Beru, almost vibrating with excitement. "My liege! My king! She's acting unapproachable! Humans sometimes show their concern this way! I've seen it in a drama!"

Jinwoo's smile widened. "You can be genuine with me" he said to you. "I know how this game goes."

"This isn't a game!" You almost shouted, drawing the attention of the nearby hunters. "I want you to leave me alone. How much clearer can I be?"

Some of the hunters stopped, watching the confrontation with concern. You felt a twinge of confusion mixed with relief at having a witness. Jinwoo noticed too, his expression darkening slightly. "We can talk about this in private" he said, shadows curling around his fingers.

"There's nothing to talk about." You backed away. "Please, just stop. Stop following me. Stop waiting outside my apartment. Stop sending your shadow to follow me. It's not romantic, it's creepy."

"My liege," Igris tried again, more forcefully. "They're really uncomfortable. This isn't love."

But Beru was louder, more determined. "My liege! The human is  testing your devotion! You must prove your devotion! In the play, the male lead follows the female lead everywhere until she admits her love!"

Jinwoo's eyes softened as he looked at you, completely misunderstanding your fear and frustration. "I understand. You need time. And proof of my intentions."

"That's not what-" You tried to clarify the situation but he chose to leave.

"I'll leave you alone." He promised to leave you alone even though his understanding of space was completely different from yours. "For now."

You remained standing while frustration caused tears to burn your eyes as he disappeared into darkness.

_____________

You discovered a small box outside your door after you opened the front door the following morning. An elegant amulet lay inside the package which appeared both valuable and hard to find. The amulet arrived without a note yet you understood its sender without any doubt.

You threw it in the trash.

That afternoon, as you trained in the Association's practice arena, you felt it again - the feeling of being watched. A quick glance up at the observation deck confirmed your fears: Jinwoo stood there, arms crossed, watching your every move with such intensity that you missed your target completely.

"He's here again?" your sparring partner asked, following your gaze.

"Always," Your words were weak as you let your weapon fall to the ground. "I cannot endure this situation any longer."

With determined steps, you advanced toward the observation deck, rage driving you forward. Jinwoo's expression lit up as he saw you approaching, as if your direct confrontation was a positive development.

"Stop," you demanded without preamble. "Stop looking at me. Stop sending me gifts. Stop pretending you don't understand what 'no' means."

Inside Jinwoo's shadow, his shadows were moving restlessly.

"My liege," Igris pleaded. "Her words are clear. She doesn't want your attention."

"My liege," Bellion added, "this behavior dishonors you as the Shadow Monarch."

But Beru rushed between them, seething with excitement. "My King! She's coming for YOU this time! This is progress! The human are acknowledging your presence! In episode fourteen of 'Love's Dark Embrace,' this is exactly what happened before the confession scene!"

Jinwoo's smile was soft, indulgent - the smile of someone indulging a child's tantrum. He asked in a soft amused voice "Did you come all the way to simply instruct me to leave? It seems counterproductive."

Your hands clenched. "Are you even listening to me? I don't like you. I don't want your attention. Please stop paying attention to me."

His genuine admiration in his voice during that moment sent a chill through your veins when he said "You're beautiful when you're angry. People are afraid to speak to me in such an aggressive manner."

"I'm not afraid of you" You pretended to be unafraid while moving away from him. "I loathe you."

A brief flash of pain and confusion appeared in his eyes together with a possible instant of awareness. But then Beru's shadow stretched between you, invisible to your eyes but whispering eagerly to his owner.

"My king! She says she's not afraid! That means she acknowledge your power but stand as your equal! The perfect mate for the Shadow Monarch!"

The moment of doubt passed, replaced by new faith. "You will be afraid," Jinwoo said softly. "Afraid of me, I mean. Before the end. But not in the way you think."

A terrifying instant passed when you thought he would reach out to touch you as he displayed his hand with shadowed fingers. His palm transformed into a small shadow creature which precisely duplicated your favorite flower through dark life.

"I will wait," he promised, handing her the shadow flower. "No matter how long it takes."

You slapped his hand away, the shadow flower dissolving into streaks of darkness. "Don't wait. Don't hope. There's nothing here for you."

As you walked away, you heard him chuckle softly. The sound followed you down the hallway, along with the faint feeling of shadows gliding across the floor as you passed.

________________

In the days that follow, Jinwoo showers you with 'gifts': rare potions left on your desk, dark creatures guarding your windows at night, even monsters attacking other hunters who work too close to you - only for Jinwoo to show up in time to 'save' you.

In Jinwoo's shadow, Igris and Bellion grow increasingly desperate.

"My liege, this has gone too far," Igris protests as Jinwoo watches your apartment from across the street, rain soaking through his coat. "She has rejected you clearly and repeatedly. This behavior is unworthy of you."

"Human is afraid of you now," Bellion adds. "Is that really what you want? To be feared by someone you supposedly care about?"

But Beru, always enthusiastic, has a different perspective. "My king! I've studied more about human courtship rituals! In the drama 'Midnight's Embrace', the female lead ran away seven times before accepting her destined love! We're only at the fifth rejection! Two more to go!"

Jinwoo smiled faintly, his eyes never leaving your silhouette through the curtain. "She doesn't understand yet," he whispered. "But she will understand."

"My king!" Beru exclaimed excitedly. "What if we demonstrate your power more clearly? Perhaps eliminate a rival for their affection? In episode twenty-six-"

"NO!" both Igris and Bellion shouted at the same time, their voices blending together in panic.

Igris immediately stepped forward, bowing his head in his armor. "My liege, with the utmost respect, eliminating potential companions is not a recognized courtship ritual. In fact, it is considered highly illegal."

Bellion added, "My liege, human feelings cannot be forced through fear. This is exactly how villains in human stories are created."

On the contrary, Beru was practically shaking with excitement. "That's what the weak humans say! In the forty-fifth episode of 'Midnight's Embrace', the hero defeated seventeen opponents, and the heroine fell in love with him even more because of it! We just need a good soundtrack and rain!!"

Igris slowly turned his head, glaring at Beru with the tired eyes of a man who had seen too much nonsense. "My liege, please stop listening to Beru. He has been corrupted by human dramas."

Bellion nodded seriously. "We need a different approach. Or better yet, no approach at all."

Jinwoo paid no attention to their questions as he continued to stare at the dim light coming from your apartment window. His lips curved upward as he slightly turned his head. "She is lonely," he whispered. "She acts strong, but I can feel it. Her heart is screaming."

Beru gasped dramatically, placing both hands on his chest. "MY KING! What an unparalleled sensitivity! The bond between you two has formed!"

Igris, face cold "My liege, what you're feeling is fear. Terror to be exact."

Bellion, voice old and exhausted "My liege, if you continue, I'm afraid the only constraint you'll create is a ban."

The rain continued to fall, lightly hitting Jinwoo's coat as he stood there, motionless.

Beru continued to whisper encouragement like a mother on stage at a toddler beauty pageant, while Igris and Bellion exchanged a look that said something very clear 'We're really doomed.'

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Jinwoo turned back to look at them, his voice soft but firm. "Prepare a small guard tonight. I don't want anything to happen to her."

Igris hesitated. "As small as...?"

Jinwoo's smile widened a little. "Just a dozen shadows. Stealth units. And Bellion, assign two knights to track any humans who come near her."

Bellion opened his mouth to protest, but then gave up completely, slumping slightly. "Yes, My liege.."

Beru saluted with ridiculous enthusiasm, almost rolling backwards "BY YOUR ORDER, MY KING! FOR LOVE AND VICTORY!!"

As the shadows dissolved into the storm, preparing to keep silent watch around your apartment, Igris whispered to Bellion, "Do you think it's too late to surrender to the Rulers?"

Bellion stared blankly at the rain. "It's too, too late."

____________________

Jinwoo:

Reader in this story:

Repost this 'cause my lovely darling said they can't read on wattpad......

[midnight1nk]

If Mr. Puzzles were to recruit 3 for whatever reason, do you think 3 would accept it?

(based on this past ask)

Let's enter my mind, shall we? (why, hello concept Ink)

To the events leading up to PV+, 3 would have some more character development moments, just like "IT'S A ME....." and "Trash Friends" and every other past instance. Ofc there would be moments with angst but it will be a nice ending. From there, it's up for you to decide:

we could go with the angsty route when someone from the Crew, likely candidate 4, unintentionally hurts 3. It was an honest misunderstanding but after everything we've seen of 3, this would be absolutely heartbreaking to see him broken down

OR we get the most heartwarming moment we've ever seen: 3 being vulnerable and open to someone who isn't either of his sons. It's a small moment, and 3 might say he's gonna regret it. But it meant a lot for him deep down.

ORRR secret third option: the heartwarming option happens first before it is completely destroyed by the angst option later on >:)

When 3 least expect it, Puzzles approaches him with a deal, to recruit him. At first, y'know from the confrontation they had at the Meme Factory, 3 would obviously wave her off. But Puzzles gets a turn to talk. Simply bringing up insecurities, the loss that 3 had from his old life (before redemption), Terrence. 3 truly had everything, and he decided to change for them? Not like they did anything in return. Don't you remember, 3?

And once again, we come to another fork in the road, BUT here's the catch, 3 could never join Puzzles. As a former villain, he could see everything was wrong with this, and even more at the fact that Puzzles escaped from prison. Obviously. This, and aside from other things. Regardless, this deal would be the ultimate test:

He could reject his offer. Besides, Puzzles got a few things wrong. 3 changed for himself, not for the Crew. This was his choice, and his alone. It's Puzzles who's stuck on the past, not 3. Besides, if anything, joining Puzzles would prove that she's the better villain between the two of them, by playing him like a fool with this mediocre plan. And 3 certainly can't have that now, can he? (But ofc the Crew may be "a bunch of idiots" but he still cares for them. That's when his development build-up comes into play, and he remembers how far his bond with the Crew has grown. Especially if we go for the angst option, he might need more time to think over what happened earlier, but the last thing he wants to do is join Puzzles. He still cares for them deep down.) Rejecting the deal obviously comes with consequences: getting kidnapped by Puzzles and being replaced with a digital copy. Pfft, as if the Crew would know the difference...

OR 3 accepts the offer but not to join Puzzles, it's to protect the Crew. He would work as a double agent, protecting the Crew while he figures out how to destroy the operation from the inside. And even then, it has its consequences: if someone from the Crew happens to see the whole thing play from afar. I mean, chat, imagine the misunderstandings. Keeping up with appearances, and its slips to the person 3 trusts the most. Ofc, pulling out a card from the Revelations arc, "Take care of Eggdog for me".

what can I say? I'm a writer. I gotta write on the spot (so yea, it's supposed to be messy lol)

thanks for the ask!

[lovecatsys]

ngl i really hate. Everything about the current systems used to diagnose and describe dissociative disorders at least in the US. i guess i hope it'll get better in the future when there's a better understanding.

[crwbannwen]

People complaining about how words are spelled irrationally annoys me

Like - that’s just how he’s spelled? Don’t make fun of how he looks! He’s crying now!

[smokestarrules]

Suletta saying love me. love me please. I’ll do anything. I’ll kill for you, I’ll listen to you, I love you. love me and let me stay. vs Miorine going hate me. hate me. I need you to hate me because I love you. I need you to run away, to stop loving me, to be safe. hate me and it will be worth it in the end. hate me and leave. (Suletta saying love me, please love me, please don’t leave me)

[tippenfunkaport]

Someday I will write an essay about how 90% of the bad takes on Season 4 stem from people not understanding that we are predominantly in Adora's POV and she is an unreliable narrator.

It ultimately doesn't matter whether she or Glimmer is right or wrong because Adora thinks she's right and Glimmer's wrong and that's all that matters to the show from a narrative standpoint.

Just because a character believes something to be true, doesn't mean it's objectively fact. Their perception colors how they view events, that's Writing 101. And in this case, it's the key ingredient for effective conflict because both people are not viewing the same event from the same perspective so they can't see eye to eye.

[stardustizuku]

This is an excellent read, and I highly recommend it.

That said, I do feel the need to give some thoughts on it.

Selling Magical Tools to commoners isn’t illegal. There’s a far more complex issue going on here than nobles leaving commoners behind simply because they can.

Magic Tool are not only extremely expensive but also rare. Even in noble households, Lower ranking nobles on the poorer side with only one or two magic tools, end up having to prioritizing the children with more mana. The rest are either orphaned, sent to the temple, or left to die.

It is also implied that acquiring them, even for nobles, is not quite as easy as simply buying them. This makes them unwilling to part with any of their magic tools, because it’s not like they’re in abundance to begin with.

In this context, commoners are essentially scammed. They’re up-charged ridiculous amounts.

An almost broken one being almost the same price as a perfectly functioning (if not a bit old) one is crazy.

This is without taking into account the issue with Devouring Soldiers. The piece talks extensively about the parallels between sexual slavery of Women of Color and the way they treat Devouring girls as nothing more than objects to further people’s mana.

But there’s practically none about the way Nobles Weaponize men too. In many such occasions forcing these soldiers into slavery and forcing them to fight and die at the whims of nobility.

Also, theres a bit of glamorization of the lower city. The author of the piece above, implies that people of the lower city help out Myne because of class solidarity and Myne herself being the change that offers social mobility.

This is far from the truth. In the novels, it’s made explicitly clear that the ones being radical are Myne’s parents. Many other commoners explain that, had it been them, they wouldn’t have saved their daughter. A sickly girl, unable to earn her own money, is not seen as something good.

Myne expresses this during part 1. Her parents say “we never expected you to actually get a job”. Which at first she finds condescending, and heartbreaking for her family to assume she’s incapable. But in a world where money is scarce and extra money is the difference between starving a blizzard or surviving- it’s quite an act of love.

They were essentially saying “we were prepared to love and care for you forever”.

A feeling that I think rings all-too-real for women from poor countries. I remember sitting in shock, because, even to me, that was something I didn’t hear often. Nowadays everyone’s worth is assigned based on their contribution to society, so parents saying it’s okay even if you don’t have a job was a bit baffling.

It’s also a bit sad not to recognize that while Rozemyne does have a mindset of “pay it forward” it is not the core of her character. It fundamentally misunderstands why she’s so beloved.

She “helps” others because that’s what helps her. Her actions always will be selfish, if she wants something she’ll get it. Her illness however, made it so that she couldn’t do it herself, therefore she started relying on others, paying them in various ways for it.

It is true that she helps others but it’s not from such a “pure hearted” reason - and that’s what makes her amazing. She’s not someone whose life mission is to “make the world a better place”. She has a view of a world she’s laser focused on getting (books) and she realized that she needed to build a community foundation to achieve it.

If she wants something, she cannot have it by working alone. She needs help from those around her. Which comes as a shock for a hyper individualistic society like the one of nobles. This mentality ends up becoming why Ehrenfest climbs the ranks with such ease.

It is the people left behind or segregated by a community, the ones that end up being pivotal to change. Therefore, instead of cutting off people who don’t fit a mold, it’s Bookworm’s philosophy to instead make room for them and prop them up.

How Ascendance of a Bookworm depicts the challenges and triumphs of chronic illness

Content Warning: Chronic Illness, medical injustice, coerced child marriage

Spoilers for the entire Ascendance of a Bookworm anime to date, as well as Part 3 of the original light novel series which has an anime adaptation scheduled for 2026.

In the crowded field of fantasy isekai light novels, Kazuki Miya’s Ascendance of a Bookwormlight novel series stands out for its extensive worldbuilding, gripping character drama, and rich themes. Bookworm follows Urano Motosu, a college student studying library science who is fatally crushed under a bookshelf during an earthquake. Urano is surprised to awaken as Myne, a five-year-old commoner girl in the Duchy of Ehrenfest. Her new body is affected by a disabling chronic illness, and books are such an expensive luxury in Ehrenfest that she cannot access them. Rather than let these obstacles crush her spirit, Urano embraces her new identity as Myne and swears to spread literacy and reading throughout the kingdom by developing the same kind of printing technology she learned about on Earth. 

While Myne brings a wide variety of Earth knowledge to bear on her new life, the series puts a much greater focus on how Myne adapts to her incurable condition in a highly class-stratified society. Bookworm thoughtfully examines the interplay between disability, socioeconomic class, and community support while eschewing the shallow tropes found in some fantasy series.

Read it at Anime Feminist!

[ohgodwhatamido1nn]

give an Affini that is just a little too touchy a Yellow Carnation

reject them in their language

[aetsiv]

am i anything but a bunch of lyrics and characters compiled into one person

[unusualindigo]

Thank you so much!

I have to admit I have been a bit critical of some characters more than others based on personal experience, moreso Hua Cheng due to the fact from my reading I don't really know much about him and what I do know about what he is to everyone besides Xie Lian and a handful of others, it seems he'd be very unliked in-universe for more reasons than just bigotry.

I really wish MXTX dived more into the fact that as a ghost, Hua Cheng is kind of a problem for the common people. Like, the ghost city does have vendors just selling human cuts iirc, so it would be interesting to see if that would cause blowback, which it should.

For example, part of BingQiu's weakness as a pairing (in my opinion) is after the misunderstanding is cleared up, the world's reaction to the absentee ruling couple feels... weak. In a narratively unsastisfying way.

One thing I wish we got more of for Shen Yuan is dealing with consequences like the brothel sisters who comforted Shen Jiu and were likely cared for in turn, or how he probably isn't as shrewd or strategic as Shen Jiu due to their differing backgrounds and didn't know much of his life outside Binghe's perspective, which could lead to the collapse of things like spy networks or secret sect defenses the Qing Jing Peak Lords wouldn't leave written down for security purposes.

Binghe himself gets very little blowback but that is sofetened somewhat by the System's canonical influence upon the world, though that in itself feels woefully unexplored (I headcanon the System as the actual Original Binghe fed up with a life of unhappiness and ready to do whatever it takes to see some version of himself happy).

Likewise, I feel like Hua Cheng is... illogical? As in, his power-set is very inconsistent next to the defined ways a lot of ghostly powers work. Bai Wuxiang has a wide array, sure, but his "domain" as you might call it seems rather broad, and He Xuan and Qi Rong's fall in line for what they are said to do.

Hua Cheng's powers, by contrast, kinda feel all over the place with no connecting threads (ironic, given the red string), and it kinda gives me pause while reading as I wonder if he even has a pre-defined set of abilities or if his powers were written by the seat of the pants to fit the needs of the story.

But also, while a good ruler, Hua Cheng is needlessly cruel to particular characters, such as Feng Xin, who had nothing to do with the other gods in the contest as I recall, and left because he was expressly ordered to (Feng Xin and Mu Qing's unbalanced relationship with Xie Lian is also something that needs more exploration, but Feng Xin in particular given he can't cultivate and was a bodyguard from birth for all we know), so Hua Cheng threatening to kill or at least severely weaken him through temple burning feels unwarranted (and also why does Hua Cheng not have any gratitude for Feng Xin breaking his own arm after protecting him from Qi Rong? Feels slightly OOC given his MO).

Ack. Sorry about that rambling!

Anyways, yeah, SVSSS and TGCF feel like they could've used more time to bake and explore certain things or just need a little adjustment to plot and character. Oddly, MDZS, despite being the second book, feels the most complete in a sense?

But in general it is interesting to look at the three in a crossover sense, as it really does highlight the different approaches taken to each narrative.

ShangQiJiu is a vibe.

The beleaguered sect leader and his two venomous serpents whispering in his ear...

[problemswithbooks]

Shark Genitals & World Building

So, I've seen this Q&A a few times now and it really got me thinking about Fish-man biology.

Now, to be clear, I think it's pretty clear Oda isn't being entirely serious. When you look at how he designs his characters he goes for whatever is fun. He's not doing extensive research on whatever aquatic species he slaps on his fish-men or Merfolk characters. This is why for a lot of them, if you look up what they are mixed with they rarely share much if anything with the animal he's picked.

Saying a character has two dicks is funny, so Hody has two dicks--that's all.

But taking the answer more seriously the idea that at least some (because they do vary so widely from fish-person to fish-person) have changed genitals because of their added fish anatomy is interesting from a world-building perspective.

As someone who has a special interest in animal biology and has watched a lot of documentaries I can say that fish have really diverse breeding strategies. So, I guess, if Hody can have two dicks because he's a shark, I wonder if this could be true for any other fish-people and merfolk.

We see that at least some fish-people do have children the same way regular humans do, but to my knowledge we don't see any pregnant mermaids. Given how much larger Neptune is then his wife, and how massive Shirahoshi is, I think it makes sense that perhaps like many fish, Otohime laid eggs that were fertilized separately (this is actually how goldfish mate).

It could be possible that the way mermaids or even fish-women have children depends on the father. If they are not compatible in size they can reproduce Ovuliparity (the way I imagine Otohime did), or if they are of similar size they either go the more human route or, after copulation they lay fertilized eggs (like the skate cases often called mermaid purses you find washed up on the beach).

There's also something to be said for the variations fish have with gender. Some fish are capable of changing gender. It's more common that female fish become male (protandry), usually the largest of a group replacing the dominate male in the group. This happens mostly with coral reef fish like wrasses, groupers and parrot-fish.

Meanwhile, anemone fish, like clown fish change from male to female. When the one female dies the remaining male will become female, while an outside male will become that new female's mate.

Then there are Black Helmet fish which are both simultaneously and take turns releasing eggs and sperm when they spawn.

So, if fish-people and merfolk had similarly diverse genders and ways of reproducing I think that'd just be really neat. It could also lead to some fun misunderstandings between fish-people, merfolk and humans.

Of course, I don't think Oda ever put that much thought into it. He just does whatever he finds fun character design wise. I mean, it's not like Arlong has barrels like Sawsharks do, and Jinbe looks nothing like a whale shark. On top of that the story isn't really focused on that type of world building. Nor do I think he could really showcase something that deals so much with sex--even if it is fish sex.

Still, makes for some really great head-canons.

[overcaffeinated-aro]

hey this is gonna sound weird but whats yr thoughts on correcting behaviors without yelling

ok so like. full disclosure I got like 4 hours of sleep and then spent my afternoon in an emergency dentist appt so I really hope I can make this make sense. I also have a lot of thoughts so I apologize if this one gets away from me

(also for context, this is about a post on children misbehaving or causing distractions in public, and parents causing an even bigger scene trying to correct their behavior. it should be the post immediately after this on my blog)

it got away from me, adding a cut

also just to start, there’s obv a difference between raising your voice to be heard/get attention, and screaming at a child who’s already in front of you while in public. there’s also a lot of space between the two. and I really don’t think there’s a lot of justification for most of it beyond strictly getting a child’s attention.

yelling or screaming at your child, especially in public, isn’t that much better than hitting them. it depends a bit on the age, but what’s getting communicated to the child in that moment is a lot less of what you’re actually saying when you yell and mostly just the intense feelings of fear and disempowerment that come with being cornered and punished, and in some cases publicly ridiculed. hell, you don’t even need to yell to do this. and depending on the parent, this may or may not be intentional, using humiliation as a method of trying to reinforce some kind of ‘lesson’ or discourage a behavior.

it was, in fact, a pillar of my mom’s parenting for many years. I know first-hand how much it can wreak a child’s self esteem, and can make them fearful of further violence from you, even without any other precedent. I started to have nightmares about being hit or kicked out, even knowing that my mom would never go that far, and even years after she stopped. She pretty effectively proved to me that at least in those moments I was beneath her, I didn’t deserve to be treated with dignity in front of others (especially in front of others, as she never yelled at me in private) including in front of family and my friends. it broke a lot of trust that I should have been able to have with her, and even now at 25 and having been moved out for 4 years there’s a lot of trust we have to rebuild in order to have a functional adult parent/child relationship.

this will not be the case for every child, but as an example: I was most frequently yelled at in public for austistic behaviors that I couldn’t or didn’t know how to control. what I needed was help, to be taught coping mechanisms, quieter or alternative ways to stim, and emotional regulation. being yelled at made me quiet, fearful, and full of shame. it appeared to fix the issue, but really only locked it away with my ability to feel and process emotions. but ofc your mileage may vary, everyone responds to trauma differently.

a lot of parents yell because they’re overwhelmed. my mom yelled because she has adhd, my behaviors were overstimulating, being in public/socializing was overstimulating, and she didn’t know how to cope. in fact once I grew up I taught her what adhd actually looks like, and helped her find resources that have greatly improved her life. This Is Still Not a Good Excuse. shit happens, parents have problems, but losing your cool at your child is not excusable. forcing your child to grow up fast enough to teach *you* emotional regulation is Not Good. as a parent, it is your job to be in a place where you can consistently and effectively be The Parent. if you aren’t there, it’s your job to recognize that and work on it!

finally, for the point that you were probably asking for: what can you do instead of yelling? what if your child won’t stop?

honestly, a parenting book will probably be a better help than I. I’ve taken 1 college course on developmental psychology and some scattered research over the years so I’m by no means an expert, or really even a hobbiest. but for what it’s worth, here’s my 2 cents:

work on yourself, especially especially emotional regulation. never take your frustration out on your child. 9/10 times your child is not trying to upset you. literally why would they do that, they depend on you for everything. even in cases when you child is trying to upset you or push back, it’s not really about You. they might need help with something, or not know how to communicate or deal with a problem. as a parent, it is in fact your job to be the bigger person.

once you have a child’s attention, anything you can communicate by yelling you can also communicate in a normal tone. for older children, it will probably be more effective to intervene just enough to stop the behavior, and then discuss the issue in private later. it’s important to be focused on solutions and what could be done better next time, not on punishments. there’s so much research showing that punishment and negative reinforcement doesn’t work.

I haven done an excessive amount of research, but from what I’ve seen so far I really like the ideas behind the Montessori method. it really strives to treat children as full individual people, and meet them where they’re at developmentally while doing it’s best to ask age-appropriate consent for everything applicable. Jessica out of the closet on youtube has some great videos on how she and her wife have been putting the method into practice with their own child, and even going into her own struggles and solutions with parenting while multiply disabled—and still refusing to compromise on the way she treats her child

and while I have this soapbox: parenting is not for everyone!! some people should not be parents, or teachers, or otherwise in a position of power over children. it’s a hard job. and, it really shouldn’t be done alone. even the most patient person will have trouble keeping their cool 24/7. it’s important to take breaks, and find ways to lean on the people or community in your lives. And, if you’re a community member who interacts with children, it’s still important to learn these skills! with any luck you’ll simply be another kind and trustworthy adult in a child’s life. but for some you may be a lifeline

[lovelylotusf1]

you know what im here for. hulk/sainz 🤲🤲🤲

Love that you're asking about it because it got me to reread what I have written and man. I love it so much :D

Debated between two snippets, but just for you, here's the longer one <3

Nico barks out a laugh at that. “All right, all right. Still as spicy as ever, I get it.” He raises his hands in a defensive gesture, like Carlos is an easily spooked horse. “You are still scharf und heiß, eh?”

Carlos calmly raises an eyebrow, even though his blood is boiling beneath his skin. He tells himself that it’s because he’s annoyed. That the feeling stirring deep in his gut is anger. That his heart is speeding up because he wants to grab Nico by the front of his shirt and yell at him to stop, to simply tell Carlos what he wants to say in a way where Carlos can actually understand him.

It's definitely not because he wants to grab Nico and kiss him to get him to finally shut up, he refuses to acknowledge that.

Ask me stuff about my wips <3

[scoriarose]

i love how much you love your snakes

I can't help but love them! They are just so precious. And honestly they are incredibly loving to me too! Sometimes the world seems so big and impossible, and I'm just one insignificant human among billions. But to my girls, I am their whole world. And every day they show me how much they love me. So I can never let them down. We are just a little multi-species family who loves each other very much!

Earlier today Scoria was playing in my blankets with me laying next to her, and she came over and wanted up on me. I put her on my chest and laid with her head over my heart. We just relaxed like that for an hour- I'm pretty sure she fell asleep for a bit because when I picked her up she did the biggest yawn ever.

Sakura is becoming a little sweetie pie too. She's very timid but usually snuggles me at least once a week now, and has gotten very good at staying calm while she's out. She's also gotten really good at target training! I'm proud of her progress. C:

I love my mommy and my sister thiiiiiis much. You can't see how much? Well that's cuz it's so big! We're inside it, it goes for miles and miles and miles!

You two are embarrassing. I'm not here. Don't look at me.

[bunnyboy-juice]

mkay its been a few days and i dont have the most perfect words to express this but uh. please remember just bc i reblog certain kinks on this blog and am publicly horny in general doesn't mean that you can try to engage in that kink with me without asking first, especially if we are not mutuals.

[pinkdean]

just received a very scary email 😰😰😰😰😰