#is admitting you are too
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comics are in and of itself, an unreliable narrator.
i say this because i started my comic journey with jason todd. i read all his robin appearances, pre and post crisis, then read hush and under the red hood, and all i could think about was what the fuck. what the fuck batman. how did you become this. what happened between 1988 and 2006. how did the the man who's life revolved around caring for this child, teaching this child, learning from this child, protecting this child, losing this child — become hurting him.
it was so baffling to me i found myself slipping into the batman shaped void that many never return from (lol). and so now, i have read over 1500 batman comics, over 300 different writers, spanning over 80 years of publication. i finally get to what happened between 1988 and 2006, and how batman as a character has become as unrecognisable as he has remained familiar. i see the events of alpod, knightfall, cataclysm, no man's land, the 200 individual batman issues and 200 individual detective comics issues alone that had passed, not taking into account the the other long runs, mini runs, short stories or collaborative comics that were released in those 18 years. the people he had met, lost, been betrayed by, abandoned in those stories.
it has only been about 5 years since jason todd died for bruce wayne. 5 years that have felt like two decades.
it has only been around 4 years for jason since he climbed his way out of his grave. 4 years that felt like less than three.
so when reading as jason, i felt betrayed. how could batman do this? how can't he see? he knows how i would have mourned him, he knows how fiercely i love him, how all i want is for him to prove he ever loved me the same way. how can he not change after all these years? how is he not aware that he is not the change gotham needs? (how does he not see that he is what i need — needed.) how will he save gotham? he can't. he can't save gotham. he can't save me. but i can. i can fix it.
then i read as bruce and i am betrayed. who is this? why does he doubt how much i loved him? what changed? why did he change? (am i the one who changed? no, surely not.) after everything, the people i have hurt, the people i have lost, the people i have sacrificed for gotham, how can he doubt? he would have never asked me to do this before, he understood, i'm sure he did, before. i won't choose. i can't choose. where is my son. where am i. i can't save gotham. i can't save you. but i can fix it. i can fix you.
they're both wrong.
#the next step after realising your fav character is an unreliable narrator#is admitting you are too#bruce wayne#jason todd#saki comic talks
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr#warm up#idk . having trouble writing rn#ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum#i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for#i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography#like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days#furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will#actually ever happen#ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum
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"why should I get invested in shows if they'll just get canceled" I was deeply invested in Heroes (2006) and it was not canceled, it just got really terrible. I also got really invested in the sandwich I had a few weeks ago despite it only lasting like 15 minutes. You must embrace the ephemeral. You must be willing to love things that may not love you back, that might betray you, or that may die an untimely death. As the great philosopher Mr. Mitchell Lee Hedberg said "I'm not gonna stop doing something because of what happens at the end."
#now granted he did die of a drug overdose but you know. one can take the good lessons#anyway. point being i understand being deeply frustrated with the state of the tv and film.#but also we can admit that for every gem canceled there's like three real duds too#idk if you want something that's guaranteed to have a bunch of seasons and you know the ending for go watch shows from the 70s#the number of adults on this site who lack the emotional wherewithal to watch an ongoing narrative is. yikes.#queue
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I'm rereading TLT because I have horrible impulse control and i will never get over the stark contrast of the Lotus Casino scenes of both the movie and book
Because movie Percy's like:
Percy: *high on lotus flowers having the time of his life* This is amazing~
Poseidon: *godly whispera in his brain* Percy you're in trouble get out of there
Percy: Oh sh*t he's right! We gotta go
Meanwhile the absolute perfection book Percy goes:
Percy: *while playing games* Oh man I having a great time! I feel warm and happy and relaxed and safe and enjoying life! I have not felt this amazing in years!
Percy:.....
Percy: something's horribly wrong
#I've talked too much about the movies in the past two days#ew#put the casino scene is iconic you gotta admit#pjo#percy jackson#percy jackon and the olympians#percy jackson and the olympians#lotus casino#the lightning thief
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What We Do in the Shadows | 6.01. - "The Return of Jerry"
#wwditsedit#wwdits#wwdits spoilers#what we do in the shadows#wwdits fx#nadja#nandor#nandor x guillermo#6.01#gifs#mine#1k#content for Me specifically <3#once again. nadja knows what you are.#also she misses him too ;_; wont admit it ofc
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I sometimes wish Logan knew about Hugh Jackman like Wade knows of Ryan Reynolds, sighs. I just know he'd lose his shit when he sees what this man (that kinda looks like him) does for the other dude that looks like his boyfriend lmao
#like I JUST KNOW HOW HE'LL REACT BUT SIR YOU TOO ARE A WHORREEEE/S#deadpool#taken from Ryan Reynolds YouTube#hugh jackman#logan howlett#poolverine#wade wilson#Logan x wade#Hugh is not beating the whre allegations…tho they are reality since he admitted to be one on that one interview#despoil 3#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool x wolverine#I was going to say Hugh ain't beating the wh*re allegations but there is nothing to allege#he has admitted he is one 🤭
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Danny goes on Vacation and leaves his job to his Co-workers
So! Danny hasn't had a break from his Hero Career since the day he turned into a Ghost. He has been constantly fighting battle after battle against his worst enemies one after the other.
Even after joining the Justice League, he didn't really have a chance to take a break. He never really asked for help because it didn't seem like a big enough deal to bother them with. He just kept on working.
Until the day he accidently mentioned this to one of his Co-workers, and they practically Force him to take a Vacation.
He has been fighting Crime, nearly every single day since he was 14, with at most a day or two in between battles for all that time, and he is now entering his 20's. They are horrified that he never asked them for help, no matter how easy the job may have been.
After a while of convincing him, they eventually get him to agree to tale a Month-Long Vacation.
He actually gets really excited after he agrees, and he is planning on exploring deep space for the entire month. He is actually really looking forwards to it now, and seeing this everyone who volunteered to take over his Patrols all promise that they will absolutely not bother him until the trip is done.
So, Danny leaves for his Vacation and the other Heroes set up shop in Amity Park.
Danny left them instructions on how to deal with Ghosts, how to pacify specific Rogues, and how to sent them back to the Ghost Zone when they are done. They feel like they are fairly well prepared for their Month Long Mission, especially since Danny described it as a very easy job.
Then the first Rogue Attack happened.
The team dispatched there, made up of a few mid-level JLA Members and some JLD Members for safe measure, takes nearly an Hour to defeat the Ghost. And they barely manage it.
They are surprised at how hard it is, but are even more surprised when they find out that the "Box Ghost" is labeled as a Low-Level Nuisance.
So, they call in a few higher level members to help. They do not want to interrupt Danny's Vacation.
Then they have to call in more JLA members, and again, and again.
By the time Danny managed to get back from his Vacation, the Founding Members and all JLD have been called in.
He thanks then for the opportunity to finally have a break.
Danny: Seriously, thanks guys. This was the best break I've had in years.
JLA: *out of breath and haggard* yeah dude...no problem...let me just sit down for a minute...whew!
Danny: Oh, I can't wait for the next time I can go on vacation!
JLA: *looking like this: 😐* ...yeah sure bro...
#Dpxdc#Dp x dc#Dcxdp#Dc x dp#Danny Phantom#Dc#Dcu#Danny takes a Break#Danny goes on Vacation#Danny severely underestimates himself and his Rogues#The JLA find out that Danny hasn't had a break since he was 14#They immediately force him on a vacation#Cue their instant regret#They do not call Danny back for help because they promised that they wouldn't#Also they have too much pride to admit that they are desperately in need of the help#(And they are embarrassed that they needed the help of a few civilians last time it happened)#Danny when he gets back: You guys look a little tired#JLA on their last legs: We look Awesome#(Yes that was a Steven universe reference)
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in nicies news though one of my closest friends saw an old picture of me compare to one of me now and complimented me on how ive gained weight and look much healthier now and im
#if you see this i love you hi lemmy#first time any one has said that or acknowledged it i cried. ill admit it#path to ED recovery has been so hard but ive bene working so hard#and i feel so much better and . well something rewlly nice my hair has started growing back thicker too. i have a bunch of baby hairs#my head kind of looks like a chia pet#anyway life is epic. and recovery is possible. love u forever#also food is so awesome i love fruit i love protein i love bread i love VEGETABLE!!!!!!! 💥💥💥💥
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You ever have those moments where an idea just... won't leave your head?
#dcu#batman#bruce wayne#green arrow#oliver queen#fake tweets#things I was not able to adequately convey in the format:#obviously Bruce's reasoning is really a lot closer to Ollie's but Bruce has a secret identity to maintain and Ollie... well#I don't know if you can make it out but his twitter profile pic is him in the Green Arrow costume and that's not accidental#also I am pretty sure that Bruce does just have the first airing date of The Price is Right saved in a corner of his mind palace#just in case it's ever relevant to a case#and he's angry at Ollie because Ollie knows that and also knows Bruce can't admit it because it would raise too many questions#also I did consider an extra scene where they tag-team harass Lex#but it just didn't sound right to me#also I put a whole load of Green Arrow references in here#Q-Core N_Singh and H_Fyff are all from the Nu52 Green Arrow runs#albeit Naomi and Henry are at least in the good Nu52 runs#obviously this is post-Snowbirds Don't Fly/Hard Travelling Heroes in general so Oliver is trolling Hal and setting up needle exchanges#and even Hal explaining to Ollie what Twilight is is a reference to one of the most dated things about the Arrow pilot:#the extremely tacky Twilight joke#anyway hope you enjoyed!
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love love LOVE jesper fahey so much, kaz rips out someone's eye and tosses them overboard and jesper's just like "would he do that for me?" not at all bothered, just wondering if kaz cares about him enough to kill a guy for him. a man with his priorities absolutely in order.
#jesper fahey#kaz brekker#six of crows#kazper#anyway unrequited kazper has my entire heart#jesper and inej bonding over their silly crushes on kaz is so important to me like their friendship is EVERYTHING#'you're too good for him you know'#'i know. so are you'#LIKE??#don't even worry jesper he would totally kill a guy for you#AND THE BIT AND THE END OF CK 'tell jesper he's missed around the slat'#HE LOVES HIM SO MUCH HE JUST CANT ADMIT IT AND I LOVE IT!!! I LOVE THEM BOTH!!#soc
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my personal fave "luffy holds a mirror up to someone's soul" moments. aka the whole point i think
#guy who is really good at identifying the things you want but are too scared to admit to yourself. hi luffy#its literally the whole point though. i am so charmed by the he wont help until you ask thing. or until you say out loud what you want#ive been ticking them off in my head but i remember getting to sanji's in the anime like HE CANT KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS#one piece#oh god now i have to tag every girl he did this to and sanji. he does ALSO do it to momonusuke but i didn't screen grab that#in a way. i think he does it to ace too but im not ready for that#monkey d. luffy#cat burglar nami#op nami#nico robin#op rebecca#op sanji#black leg sanji#nefertari vivi#alabasta#dressrosa#whole cake island#enies lobby#arlong park
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LCF readers at the start of the story when the side characters mistook Cale to be a "good person": pfft, you fools. You couldn't have been more wrong about him. You've all just been scammed. That guy is only using you for his own benefit.
LCF readers a few hundred chapters in: wait- they actually were kinda right?? We were the fools who got scammed into believing whatever he said? Goddamn.
#i genuinely believed his every word about himself until the very end of part 1#it wasn't until he started dimension hopping to save the worlds that i had to admit#that yup. this man is too far gone.#not even god can get him his slacker life now#but the fact that god of hope is cheering for his dream gives me some hope#may you truly become a rich slacker you unlucky bastard#lout of count’s family#lcf#tcf novel#cale henituse#trash of the count's family#cale#tcf#kim rok soo
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These freaks are not studying (good for them)
Closeups below :)
#they all fully passed out by accident#except for Adaine who sat down with the intention of tricking Riz into napping#ugh#I fully believe that they follow the safety in numbers rule while sleeping but none of them ever admit it out loud#when you’ve had your body taken over by a nightmare god in the past you kinda don’t feel great sleeping alone y’know?#check out the Fabian and Gorgug jacket swap too cause that’s my favorite thing to do#the bad kids all wear each others clothes so much it’s hard to remember who they originally belonged to and I believe that#and they love each other so much#fantasy high#d20#d20 fantasy high#dimension 20#d20 fanart#fantasy high fanart#fh#fhjy#adaine abernant#riz gukgak#fabian seacaster#kristen applebees#gorgug thistlespring#fig faeth#the bad kids#kalina#Cassandra is in the stars :)#undescribed#not described#my art
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Jimmy tries so hard to not let Anya haunt his narrative but she is his narrative and he hates that.
Everything loops back to what he did to her and every hallucination, action and choice he makes or does directly goes back to her and he deserves that strife. She persisted and spoke up and he hates her for it. He can erase her but not her presence over them and that’s the best type of ghost.
#like yes he tries to dehumanize her but in that he things of all the ways she is human and all his fears culminate in what he is too much of#a coward to admit he’s done#cause Anya is not characterized through him but the interaction with curly so when it is just her and Jimmy you can see what he’s trying to#strip away vs what she had and in this essay I will#I love Anya so much like guys I’d go save her specifically like pls she deserves more#anya mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#mouthwashing anya#mouthwashing jimmy#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing
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Danse Macabre
[Commission]
#dungeon meshi#dungeon meshi spoilers#marcille donato#winged lion#better drawn mdzs#<- art tag I really need to change.#Turns out the secret to drawing better was having someone offer you money to draw.#I jest. I just had a blast with this prompt and I seriously appreciate the commissioner for letting me have the chance to push myself.#And for giving me permission to post! Hi! If you're seeing this: thank you again!#Let me be clear: no I don't quite know where this came from. It just happened. My chakras unblocked for a few hours.#You too can unblock my chakras with money and commission me to draw cool art B*)#We are so far off from when this is relevant so this one is really just for the manga readers. *****Spoiler notes ahead:#So...As someone who read dungeon meshi monthly for many years....I admit to not seeing Marcille becoming the dungeon lord coming#Hilarious too; re-reading and watching the show made me realize that this outcome is pretty strongly foreshadowed.#Ryoko Kui distracts you by putting the focus on Laios being the 'one to break the curse' but nope!#This was the culmination of her goals and desires.#And - for those who did not have to suffer as us monthly readers did:#YES. WE NEARLY ALL THOUGHT THAT MARCILLE HAD TO DIE.#The last 20 or so chapters were a constant spiral of: 'Oh this story isn't going to have a happy ending is it?'#She just keeps losing herself! The winged lion plays her like a puppet and she is his perfect doll! So full of conviction!
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Every time a woman says "I'm not going to vote" an angel loses its wings. 💔
Women fought tooth and nail for the right to vote! Voting means having a say, however small, in how your country is run. If you don't use your say, then you can count on being spoken over by the men who are getting out there and voting.
In the name of feminism and in honour of all the women who came before you, PLEASE exercise your right to vote! 🗳️
#I took a women's studies class once and so many feminist women admitted to not voting. Heartbreaking 🙃#The options are shitty. Like I get it I really do especially for my American sisters rn#But you can bet your ass that the Harrison Butkers of the world are casting their ballots. So you should be too!#radblr#radical feminists do touch#radical feminism#women's liberation#women's suffrage#feminism
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