#is ace more annoyed about the erasing bit? yes definitely

[new-haven-psych-ward]

Some Advice (Episode 6)

Some Advice (Episode 30)

no thoughts, only brainrot and repetition and the role of (willful) (forceful) amnesia

[strawberryradiodemon]

Even if you do add asexual, ace or aromantic to the search there's gonna be those "no fictional thing should ever have to present anything accurately or respectfully ever" people like "as an asexual you have my permission to do whatever you want with alastor's asexuality!" like... who tf asked them? they have an agenda they're trying to push, they do not speak for the ace community as a whole 🙄

Yeahh, even with the aro and / or ace tags we're not entirely safe unfortunately.

Such things do annoy me, I'm not gonna lie. I can understand that romance positive aros, sex positive aces or those who still have sex / are in relationships/ etc use the "aro/ace people can still date / have sex" or remind people that it's a spectrum and some still feel these type of attraction because yes, that's true.

But what annoys me is that saying that to people annoyed about the constant sexualisation/ shipping of Alastor is basically siding with the non aroace spectrum people using that "aroace people can still feel that/ do these things!" who saw that and ran with it purely to be able to continue with what they want to do.

Yes, asexuality and aromanticism are spectrums. Yes, some feel the attraction. Yes, some don't but still engage in these activities. And if you're on the aroace spectrum and it's your case obviously I'm not going to shame you for putting alastor in such scenarii because you're using a character like you to relate, and still acknowledging his aroace identity. The problem is that most people putting him in these situations totally disregard his aroaceness. And when as an aroace (spectrum) person, you say "people can still ship him, I do! Aroace people can feel these things or do them!"... You're basically enabling their erasure of his identity. Deep down you're right, but non aroace people don't care about that, and don't do these things the same way you do.

That's why, to non aroace people shipping alastor, I will remind them that he's aroace. And clearly not on the part of the spectrum where he still feels those things, nor is he interested in pursuing them.

And to the people on the aroace spectrum, I will just say, please, don't mistaken their words for a reel need to showcase the variety of our identity, because most of the time that's not what they want. You don't forget his aroaceness in the way your ship him, they do. Ship him all you want, because I know your heart is in the right place. But please don't defend the others.

As a loveless aroace, it pains me to see him constantly shipped and sexualised by everyone (even though that's clearly not what he'd want), and these things being defended.

I thought I had found a character I could relate to, that I could search stuff about him peacefully without seeing all kind of romantic and sexual stuff. I've been proven wrong, and it hurts. And the excuse they use hurt even more, because it feels like we're only palatable or interesting if we can still feel these attractions sometimes or engage in those things. As if alastor being a loveless aroace is a disappointment, that they *need* to ship him to be satisfied, for him to be enough.

Sorry for the rant, I definitely repeated myself, but I wanted to take the opportunity this ask gave me to give a bit of my opinion on this.

Tldr: I have no problem with aroace spectrum shipping him because I know they keep his aroaceness in mind. I have, however, a problem with non aroace spectrum people doing that because they erase his aroace identity completely AND use the diversity of it as an excuse to continue doing so. And it pains me to see fellow aroace people defending that, because I feel like they don't realise how those people ship him.

[dc41896]

The Whole Time?!

Pairing: Jake JensenxBlack Reader

⚠️: Maybe a tiny bit of technical angst (🤷🏽‍♀️ lol), fluff💕

“P-Pooch?,” you stammer unable to fathom that your supposedly dead brother was standing in front of you and his wife who was about to give birth to their son in any minute.

“Hey peanut,” he smiles stepping further in the hospital room. “I’d hug you, but I’m w-,”

You didn’t even let him finish before immediately wrapping your arms around his neck and burying your face in his shoulder. Good thing he was already wet from the rain, your tears would just be a welcomed addition.

“Wait. D-Does that mean-”

“Hey babe,” the all too familiar voice speaks making more silent tears fall as you lift your head. Just as soaked as Pooch, he nervously smiles removing his hat to reveal his spiked frosted tips. He pretty much looked the same as you last saw him. Toned arms and chest shielded by his dripping jacket along with your personal favorite, his black circular frames bringing even more attention to those crystal baby blues.

There were plenty of times you thought about what you’d do if granted this moment. Cry, scream, maybe jump into his arms clinging onto him like a koala on a tree. Possibly all three even. Now, finally being granted your wish after all these months, there was one main thing on your mind.

“Wow,” he smiles as you slowly move closer to each other. “I didn’t think it was possible, but somehow you’ve gotten more beautiful.” Just as the words left his mouth, the back of your hand connecting with his abdomen in the hardest hit you could muster nearly knocks the wind out of him as he keeled forward.

“And apparently stronger too..,” he coughs.

“How could you?!”

“I didn’t do it on purpose! We had to so we could go after the guy who set us up. And why didn’t you hit Pooch?! He was in it too.”

“He’s got one coming after my nephew safely enters the world, right now though it’s your turn,” you glare before smacking him again.

“Told you she had a strong backhand,” Pooch states quickly closing the room door before his sister decided to direct her rage at him.

The rest of the team merely watch in entertainment as your hits move to his shoulders and biceps until Jensen can grab your wrists pinning them by your sides.

“I’m sorry for putting you through all that, but it’s not like I completely left! I could still see you.”

You tilt your head in confusion ready to ask what he was talking about, until seeing Clay nervously scratch the back of his neck as he and Cougar shift their gaze clues you in on what he meant.

“SERIOUSLY JAKE?!”

“Wha-? I-,”

“Did you really think that would make me feel better?!”

“...Honestly at this point I’m afraid to answer.”

Annoyed groan falling from your lips, you tried to escape his grasp, but his larger hands slightly tightening their grip on yours, along with him following your every movement, keep you in place. “When we go home I can explain everything.”

“Will you? Or are you just gonna lie some more?”

“I promise I’ll tell everything,” he whispers, leaving a chaste kiss on your temple before flashing one of his ‘please don’t stay mad at me forever because I love you’ smiles. So far, it’d gotten him out of any argument you had. Including this one.

Darn those good looks of his.

“Fine,” you reply as you cross your arms, leaving him to find a seat in the nearby waiting room.

“Any tips here Colonel?,” Jake sighs.

“I’m probably not the one you’d want relationship advice from.”

Another heavy sigh leaves his lips as he follows your path down the hall to sit next to you. That is if you’d let him.

“Okay, is anybody else stuck on the fact that Jensen actually has a girlfriend?,” Aisha states breaking the momentary silence and making both men chuckle.

———

It’s the happiest he’s ever been to walk into his small, outdated apartment. Things weren’t exactly the same as he left it with your few new decorations and pieces of furniture trying to make the place a bit of your own, but of course he didn’t mind. It actually warmed his heart that although he was “gone” you still chose to stay, sticking by his side when you easily could’ve moved on with your life.

“Jeez, the faucet always drip that loud?,” he lightly chuckles shedding his coat and placing it on the small hanger by the door.

“It started a bit after you left,” you sigh kicking off your shoes. “Think it’s loud now, it’s even louder when you’re just sitting here alone.”

Following you to the bedroom feeling like a dog with its tail between his legs, he sits at the foot of the bed looking down at his hands as you move about the bathroom getting yourself ready for bed. Your words were like the sharpest sting as his mind vividly showed an image of you just sitting in this apartment with nothing but thoughts of loosing your brother and boyfriend along with the hum of the AC. He knew for the sake of their mission, and the team, he couldn’t say anything, but it still didn’t take away his guilt of what you went through mentally and emotionally.

“I tried to write you.”

“What, your computer go down and you couldn’t watch me anymore?,” you counter over your shoulder before rinsing the soap from your face.

“That was only once okay? I was watching my niece’s soccer game and then I thought about what you were doing and kinda sorta hacked your office’s cameras, which yes I know was wrong. Speaking of, they really should update their software, a fifth grader could easily hack into it just guessing the password,” he answers making you roll your eyes with a chuckle.

“And who’s Tom?”

“Tom?”

“Yea. Curly brown haired guy, cubicle across from yours. Big head you can see a mile away.”

“I’m sorry are you somehow trying to turn things on me when you’re the one that’s supposed to be explaining why I’ve thought you were dead this whole time?,” you ask wiping the remaining moisturizer from your hands before crossing them in front of your chest as you step closer to the now nervous looking man.

“N-no, of course not! But I mean since he’s been mentioned...”

“He’s just this guy at work that apparently likes me and asked me out but I said no, because a small part of me kept hoping that you’d miraculously come back. Happy?”

“I-uh...y-yes?”

Sighing, you sit beside him tucking your bare legs under you and taking his hand in yours to trace the lines on his palm. You never knew how or why you started, but it was something you occasionally did while you two were talking or just lying next to him enjoying each other’s company. It brought a smile and giddy feeling to Jensen, just as it did to you.

“Listen, I’m sorry I’m giving you a hard time, I know you didn’t have a choice, and understand. Selfishly though, I just missed you so much and wish I could’ve known. It definitely would’ve saved some sleepless nights and tears.”

With his other hand, his thumb and index finger gently grab your chin guiding you to meet his eyes. “I’m sorry for everything I put you through having you think I was dead. The second we threw our tags in that fire you and my family were all I could think about. Like I said I wanted to write and give you some sign that I wasn’t gone, but I could never figure out how to start. Plus Clay threatened to cut off little Jensen if I did send anything back home once he found out, which only made it tougher.”

“Yea we wouldn’t want that,” you softly laugh following a short sniffle you were trying to hold back. You really were done with crying, having done so since you got that devastating call so long ago, and just wished your tear ducts would shrivel up already. “Sorry, I thought I was done with the tears.”

“Shh, don’t be.” Leaning forward, his soft as clouds lips meet the single salty droplet in the middle of you cheek erasing its presence before moving to yours in quite possibly the most delicate, tender kiss you’ve ever experienced. Any other time, you’d probably call it painfully slow, trying to take the lead to move things along. But as you both sat there taking everything in from each other’s scents to the feel of how one’s lips and mouth felt on the other, you couldn’t feel more connected.

Just barely pulling away, his swollen lips rest centimeters above yours ready to take them again as soon as he caught his breath.

“I don’t know if I should be embarrassed at myself or amazed at whatever powers you have,” he starts, a light chuckle escaping him. “But I think you just made me-,”

“Jensen!,” you laugh, playfully smacking his shoulder. “Way to ruin a romantic mood.”

“If it’s romance you want, say no more,” he smiles taking your hand in his and placing it on his chest as he clears his throat. To the best of his ability, he begins singing the opening lines to your couple’s song, as Jake proclaimed it, instantly making you fall back on the bed in laughter.

“You actin' kinda shady, ain't callin' me baby, why the sudden change. Say my name, say my name!”

“This is definitely not a couple’s song,” you laugh feeling his forearms rest on either side of your head and chest vibrate from his laughing.

“I’ll admit lyrically wise..yes, you’re right. But it’s still ours which makes it special.”

You’d never forget that day in the grocery store trying to find a pint of your favorite ice cream as the song played overhead. Without really looking, you thought you were on the freezing aisle by yourself and began singing along as you gently bobbed your head. Suddenly hearing a voice singing the background vocals made you slightly jump turning to see the taller man in a grey sweatshirt, blue and white basketball shorts, and sneakers holding up his hands.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. I-It’s Destiny’s Child, I couldn’t resist.”

“It’s okay, and I mean who can?,” you respond, both softly laughing before shyly looking back at your respective sections to get your frozen desserts.

“Soo...you like ice cream?,” he asks interrupting the momentary silence.

“Yea, um my favorite’s moose tracks,” you answer briefly holding up your pint with a smile.

“You know who has a good moose tracks? Bennie & Bailey’s downtown. They make it from scratch and I don’t know what all they put in it, but it’s amazing.”

“Oh, okay thanks. I don’t think I’ve ever been there.”

“Well you should definitely go one day. I mean if you want,” he nervously chuckles.

“Will do,” you smile. “Only if you’ll take me though?”

At first, being met with his shocked, speechless expression made your newfound confidence falter thinking you might’ve been too bold with the cute stranger, whom you hadn’t even asked if he was single or not. However seeing his eyes shine bright and adorable smile grace his pink lips, your excitement returned as he moved closer handing you his phone.

Years later, the rest is history as you lie in bed with the man you were sure was the love of your life.

“Hey what’s going on in there?,” he asks brushing his fingertips across your forehead noticing you become quiet. Lightly scratching his goatee, you feel your eyes start to water again causing you to blink a few times trying to keep them at bay.

“I just don’t want you to leave again,” you whisper, moving your fingers to card through his chestnut and blonde mixed strands.

“I’m not going anywhere unless you ask me too.”

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[reiven2017]

From ridicule.

Chapter 3.

Rachel heaved a sigh as fatigue crept up on her again. She never considered herself an ACE in French, but he gave in to her and she even had an excellent in this subject. Until this moment. Roth sat alone in the empty library of the Academy, fiercely wrestling with a French essay, cursing herself once again for mispronouncing a sign or an accent. Damn that French guy. Rachel closed her eyes wearily, putting down her books and leaning on her hands in shock. It was late in the evening and she had lost count of how long she had been here. A thin ribbon of annoyance was already creeping up her throat, and she let out a startled sigh. She was tired again, the walls of the library were crushing her, and the oppressive silence was no better, and for a moment she thought she was delirious. She wasn't supposed to think about things that seemed delusional and didn't make sense to anyone. She was just a stupid girl. Rachel shook her head, rolling her eyes in exasperation as unnecessary thoughts began to creep into her head one by one, making this evening even more annoying and unbearable. She shouldn't have thought about him. It's only been 5 hours since their first "meeting"...not that it bothered her, but the itchy feeling in her chest prickled uncomfortably, making her turn back again and again to the boy with the dark skin and those inviting eyes ...

But...He's just a normal boy. He's just an ordinary person. Yes. It has nothing supernatural or magical about it. Right? He just pushed her, even though he accidentally bumped into her and they didn't say ten words to each other, so why did HIS name stick in her head? Why did her cheeks turn so treacherously red and her heart sink at the mere sight of those predatory emerald eyes? She didn't understand herself, and she didn't understand why her body responded so responsively to his warmth. She could and did control her emotions while remaining calm. But in that incident, near the office with Damian, all her calmness went to the pussy and she stood like a fool with her hands on the floor, redder and aleeya like a first-grader. Was she ill? Or maybe it's just her mind playing tricks. Were these normal feelings? When in one moment, literally the entire universe exploded into a million bright stars in her eyes and the images in her head blurred, when only his silhouette was visible in this light and when she was unable to look away from him? She was sick and she was sure it was bad. Goosebumps ran over her skin and her Scarecrow firmly stated that this is bad. Damian Wayne was a danger. Solid danger demolishing everything in its path and invisible obstacles. She heard the girls whisper breathlessly about his "bad guy" reputation and the big cough behind his back, and how they dreamily imagined themselves in his girlfriend's shoes, giggling happily. She had heard from Gar about his expulsion from the previous school. And from other schools, too. Rachel Roth was a good girl in every sense of the word. Like a good girl, she should have stayed away from him, not looked in his direction, and erased his name from her memory. From her mother's sad experience, she knew what it was like to get involved with bad guys and had no desire to repeat her story. Rachel Roth lifted her head, pulled her textbook closer, and puffed hard. She pushed the image of him out of her mind, sealing it forever in the back of her mind like a bad dream. Rachel Roth was a good girl, and Damian Wayne was a bad guy. And she was still going to write a damn paper.

Rachel gave her cousin a quiet smile, glancing across the room and giving her a thumbs-up. In response, Layla sent her a haggard look and a frowning smile as she let out a weak moan at the elated Mouth. Rachel giggled and turned to the Board, leaving her cousin to her mourning. This was the first class of the week in literature, and her love for this subject was not selfish, so Leila took a back seat. There was no annoying green spot, and Rachel sat alone at her Desk in complete silence for once. Bliss. She sighed with satisfaction when the bell rang and the old teacher, Miss Smithers, came into the classroom with her usual limp on one leg. Miss Smithers was an elderly woman, with a high gray hairdo and always in a clean, pressed pink suit. She was meticulous as hell, but she was also a soft and fun woman. Rachel always liked her bright pink suit. Or when she put in her hair, kakoenibud jewelry and podderzhala the Empress. Miss Smithers was one of her favorite teachers for her kind nature and Rachel was also one of her favorite students. As soon as jenna entered the classroom, she looked at everyone sternly, then smiled cheerfully and began her story in her only French accent. She liked to say a little French, which always seemed funny to Rachel when there was a knock at the office door and the headmaster came stumbling up to Miss Smithers. They were whispering about something and after a minute of meetings, Mister ........he turned to the class and solemnly adjusted his tie.

- "Dear students, I want to introduce you, your new classmate Damian Wayne." - a wave of whispers passed through the class, and then the voices faded as, slowly, like a hunter inspecting his prey, he entered. Fuck. Rachel felt like she was falling and she wasn't sure if she was on the ground anymore. Her blush returned as she gazed shamelessly at his figure. Damn it, he was a fucking model! No, of course they'd met before, but then she wouldn't even have had the courage to look at him. Now she was blushing and Alea thought it was a good thing, or her own feet would fail her. The gray school jacket clung to his broad, elaborately sculpted shoulders, and he was wearing it over a black shirt that wasn't buttoned with the first two buttons. His dark skin was not just beautiful, but perfect, kissed by the sun and shrouded by God. His plump lips curved beautifully, and his cheekbones courageously emphasized his appearance, adding even more charisma to the image. There was a noticeable scar above his left eyebrow, and now his charisma was mixed with something dangerous. She gripped the edge of her skirt sharply, hoping to stay on this earth with a clear mind and a firm memory. It couldn't be true. It doesn't have to be true. She had just made up her mind the night before to forget his name like a bad dream, and lo! Here it is! She tried to calm her breathing, counting to ten and ignoring everything. She doesn't need to worry. He probably didn't even remember her name? Isn't it? Of course, why would he remember her? As soon as she calmed herself by letting go of the irreparably ruined skirt and finally looked up, she was met by emerald eyes that were unabashedly scanning her figure. Oh, she wasn't sure she wouldn't be dead by the end of the day.

She was paralyzed again, and as for the first time, she stared at him, frozen, unable to move or tear herself away. Her heart thumped in her chest, and her blush deepened when Damian gave her a predatory wink, ignoring everyone else. Fuck. No, she was definitely dead. He continued to stare at her, oblivious to the sidelong glances and the words the headmaster said to IMU, focusing only on her. And of course, the only thing she had the brain for, if not the cynical brain, was to quickly look down at the floor, again clutching her hands to her school skirt and pretend to Shine, Rachel! Just wonderful! She was grateful for the opportunity, since all her classmates were busy with Wayne and the rumors about him, and her mood changes were not unnoticed by anyone. There were ragged voices behind her, and a curious gaze was boring into her back. Leila, she won't leave her alone. The voices faded and Rachel didn't seem to notice, too stunned by what was happening. Someone next to her pushed back a chair and someone's things fell on the Desk next to her.

His voice, dangerous and hoarse, filled her entire body from the tips of her fingers to the top of her head, and she clenched her knees together convulsively. She took a deep breath and looked up at him timidly.

- "Hello". she answered, hoping he wouldn't notice the tremor in her voice. Damian tilted his head slightly to the side, a faint smirk playing on his lips, and his eyes flickered lasciviously toward her lips. Rachel's stomach clenched like a coiled spring, her mouth went dry, and she swallowed involuntarily.

"I didn't expect to see you here. Before she could think, the words came out of her mouth and She bit her lip in confusion. Damian's lips curved in a wry smile and he just as unceremoniously continued to stare at her, sitting half-sideways. Rachel turned away from him, hiding her confused gaze in her book, and tried to concentrate on what Miss Smithers was saying. He was just an ordinary boy. She shouldn't react to him like that. "And so, Rachel Roth."Just Rachel," she said quickly, without looking up. Just don't look at him. Just don't look at him. Just don't look at him. She knew that if she met those emerald eyes again, all the words would just lose their meaning, and she would look like a weak-willed doll. "So, Rachel, what are you doing tonight?" Rachel drew in a sharp breath, blinking in confusion. Just don't look at him. Just don't look at it. "Forgive. What?" Damian moved a little closer, so that Rachel could feel his hot breath on her skin, and said, " I'm sorry. "I want to invite you to a party." Roth's hand was frozen over the notebook and she stared at it blankly. Her brain was overheated, unable to figure out what to do with it or how to behave under the gaze of those emerald eyes. Just don't look at him. Just don't look at him. Just don't look at him. Damian's eyes narrowed dangerously, and in one sharp, quick movement, he slid two fingers under her chin And turned her face toward him. "I don't like not being looked in the eye. he hissed threateningly, and it could be interpreted as an order that required no reservations and that Rachel didn't have the strength to disobey. She looked at him warily, without any second thought, biting her lip between the rows of snow-white teeth, and was momentarily startled when Demian's eyes flashed with something dark and the pupil in his eyes widened. "I'm still waiting for an answer, Rachel."..I da agrh...don't know."the thoughts in her Golva were tangled up in a huge tangle and all that she managed to put together was a pathetic sentence. Wayne chuckled, and gently, almost imperceptibly, traced the line of her chin before removing his hands from her face and speaking calmly. "I think it is-Yes." Miss Smiter coughed indignantly, drawing attention to herself. "Am I bothering you, young people?" Damian stood up easily, his impenetrable mask falling back into place and a cold aura enveloping him. He picked up his bag from the Desk and walked calmly over to Miss Smithers. "I'm sorry." he said as he left the classroom, just as the bell rang for the end of class.

[ocular-intercourse]

@mangosandchili No.2 of (?), 14 questions Ace edition

🌲 What is the kindest thing your OC has ever done for someone? What is the kindest thing someone has ever done for them? On the flip side, what is the worst thing your OC has done to another person?

i.. I don’t know?? He just.. doesn’t deal with other people all that much. He’d probably consider it kind leaving other people be and not annoying them to death. I suppose his loyalty to his brother is rooted in kindness. Oh actually, it’s really less about what kind thing he has done as a singular situation, it’s more about his kindness potential. Given the situation he’d chose to do the kind thing, he’s just not quite aware of it cause he tends to stay away from situations, period. His misanthropy is very superficial. The other way around is pretty similar, people don’t get the chance to be kind to him very often. I guess Ben & later Ellie sticking around could be considered kind. The worst thing he has done would be just being purposefully difficult, pushing people away, building walls, being annoying and a little reckless. The curve is pretty flat in either direction.

🌳 What does your OC do when they see others upset or in pain? An upset friend? A stranger?

Look around if someone else is there to help, if yes, leave it to them, if no.. begrudgingly help. Depends on the situation too. If someone is physically hurt that would be easier for him than trying to console emotional distress. Once again, he would do pretty much anything for Ben, Ellie or his brother (pre attempted murder.. maybe a little bit after). But he really struggles with reacting to emotion, he would uncomfortably offer his presence and then not know what to do next, just sitting there, quietly patting backs.

🌿 What is something true about your OC that they refuse to admit about themselves? Is there any reason to this besides embarrassment?

He loves and he cares so much. He’s just, either trained or naturally, not really able to show it. Emotional constipation. He’d like to believe he’s as distant to things and people as he pretends to be, but he’s not. He just does not have the tools to communicate it to himself and others.

🍃 Describe a regular day for your OC. What is their schedule (if they have one).          

I think Ace feels like he’s a chaotic person, other people definitely see him that way, but he actually has his set routines, they just swap around sometimes. Generally he has classes in the morning, he’s late to them most of the time cause he has difficulties getting up and following authoritarian instructions. After that probably back to his room, dick around on the internet, make some music, just chilling, some swordfight training maybe. If it’s dark out you’ll more likely than not find him outside somewhere, on the roof, taking in the night.

🍁 What is your OC’s most traumatic experience? (If they don’t have just one traumatic experience either pick one or describe them all!)

Finding out his brother is part of some weird cult that is currently attacking and killing children and teenagers. Swiftly followed by said brother killing him when Ace confronts him about it. Or trying to kill him, more accurately. But the intention was there. Though Ace very much wants to doubt that. Traumatic event still pending: Finding out that he himself tried to join said cult to follow in his brother’s steps as he always has done but being rejected and his memory having been erased.

🍄 How would your OC react to the death of a friend/family member/loved one? Is there anyone they can confide in?

Hmm I don’t think Ace is equipped to confront that reality at all. Definitely not outwardly. He’s too good at bottling up stuff, he does not know what else to do with his emotions. He’d just quietly stew in it, refuse to talk about it. He won’t expect it to get better, it’s just part of his life now. But the grief is also kinda weirdly suspended by the whole underworld thing. So he’d just.. kinda ride it out till he can do anything about it. Action is much easier, he’ll focus on that. No idea what exactly he’ll be able to do, but the thought helps.

🌾 What would your OC be like if they were evil. Or if they’re already evil what would they be like as the good guy?

He’d just be the Ace he’s pretending to be most times. Not caring about the people around him, except maybe a few exceptions. Not actively cruel, but cold, calculated. Letting people suffer because it has nothing to do with him, it’s not his responsibility, even if it is right under his nose and he could easily reach out to help.

💐 How would your OC react to somebody telling them that they love them? (+ bonus give another characters/OC name!)

Oh, he has his mastered poker face it would be really hard to coax a reaction out of him. Ace and his brother are both the kind of people who would cloak i love you’s in jokes and irony and sarcasm, like proclaiming it cartoonishly and over the top so it seems like a joke when it’s really not. Genuine serious i love you’s would definitely catch him off guard. He’d still try to play it off with jokes, or react as if it did not faze him, just shrug it off. I don’t think he’d get himself to respond with his own feelings, at least not very often. That’s just too much, too intimate, too raw. He’d rather show his love than talk about it, and even that would be very much hidden and not talked about meaning-wise. He’ll leave the interpreting to others. When Ben or Ellie tell him they love him it’s like an ice cold hand squeezing his heart, and then molten lava in his belly. It’s not a negative thing by any means, and he will cherish a proclamation of love, cling onto it very much, but it is still very uncomfortable for him to hear.

🌷 What does your OC hate about themself? What lies about themself do they believe? On the flip side, What does your OC love about themself?

He hates this invisible wall between him and anybody else. He hates that he can’t figure out if he built it himself or if it has always been there. He hates that he does not know whether him not being able to tear it down is his own fault, or something he has no control over no matter how hard he tries. So he just blames himself, cause that’s most likely, believes that this is just himself being intrinsically bad in some way, at the very base. Something inside him must really not care, or else he’d be able to change things, right? If he really tried. Maybe it’s in the way his brother raised him, he never gave him the tools to socialize properly, and now it’s too late to change, if he can change at all. So he believes his own lie about not liking or caring for other people, about being emotionless. (ace really is the oc that gets all of my bullshit huh, sorry baby) Some parts of this he loves too. If he looks at people and the problems they create for themselves because of their emotions and ties to other people, how they hurt their own feelings over unnecessary things, he’s sometimes just really really happy to be able to distance himself from some of these things, of being able to not take things personally or interpret hurtful meanings into things other people say instead of just taking them literally and get on with it. He likes his humor and he is damn proud of his talents. He prides himself on his loyalty.

🥀 What is something your OC blames themselves for and is it really their fault? Does it keep them up at night and is there any lingering trauma?

I think the answer to this is mostly in the answer before this. He blames himself for some of his characteristics even if he has no control over them cause they are conditions he was born with. He feels inhuman sometimes, there’s just something other people naturally do that he can’t imitate and he can’t shake the feeling that it’s his fault somehow, or he’s just broken. It’s not, he’s not. He could have certainly gotten better help in accepting and dealing with these feelings, but really there’s nothing much he himself can do about it. It does not necessarily keep him up at night, but it’s definitely a pit in his stomach when he gets to a situation that points out this rift between him and others.

🌺 In what situation would your OC be pushed to commit an act of violence? Would they go as far to kill someone if they had to? How would this affect them and their relationships with others?

He is not somebody that would even show a reaction to being provoked, he’s too calm, too focused on controlling his expression and emotions. So you won’t see him tied into brawls or anything. He would however kill in self-defense, to protect himself and others (not just his loved ones, anybody in need). I think if there was undeniably the need to premeditatedly kill somebody to keep something bad from happening he might just be able to do that too, but only in a ‘no other choice this person is irredeemable’ kind of situation. I’ve mentioned it before, he has killed in self-defense, but that’s not necessarily unusual in his world. I don’t think people expect it to affect him very much, he sure doesn’t let it show. He is also pretty good at shutting himself off of any emotion he’s experiencing. People around him might worry a bit, about it affecting him negatively in the long run. Ben is mostly happy he has someone who steps in to do these things when he himself would rather not. Ellie has no problem killing, so she and Ace would just be in silent agreement about it not being pretty, but necessary.

🌸 What would your OC do if they were given god-like powers or the ability to change anything about the world for a whole day?

Ace would consider doing something ridiculous and stupid. Every person on the planet suddenly making clown shoe squeaky noises when walking.. But in a last minute kind of decision he’d suddenly realize he can use this to learn everything he needs to learn. About his brother, that organization, the gods, who killed JFK… He’d go on a wild conspiracy theory tangent, figuring out what’s true and what isn’t. Ace knowing the secrets of the universe…powerful, scary. He’d probably do nothing with it afterwards, just because that would drive people insane, knowing what he knows and not utilizing it.

🌼 Describe one of your OC’s worst nightmares.

Being truly, utterly alone. He puts so much into believing he could exist all by himself, that he would have no problem with nobody liking him, nobody caring. He’s just trying to prepare himself in case that fear ever becomes true, if he tells himself enough how he does not care maybe it will be true when he needs it someday.

🌻 What advice would your OC give to their younger self? What advice does your OC need now?

He would have to reach an especially enlightened mode for this but: Don’t be as exclusionist. Look out of the metaphorical window from time to time. Look at how other people live their lives, what they value, how they treat each other. There is nothing wrong with accepting the things your brother teaches you and live by your own rules instead of society’s generalized ideas of right and wrong. But there is value in comparison sometimes, to put things in perspective. Advice for now would be similar, but more in the line of: It is okay to recognize and admit that you have been hurt, that does not weaken who you are. Also: Don’ put people on pedestals as much, they are not infallible, believing so will only disappoint and hurt you.

[sanvitheartificer]

the enola holmes books were one of my favorites as a kid, and after i watched the movie i re-read them all in two days. i’m a little annoyed about the changes. (spoilers for both movies and books. read at your own risk.) don’t get me wrong! i really enjoyed the movie. i thought some of the stuff it did was interesting, and some of it just necessary as an adaptation (of course enola can’t spend five weeks solving riddles, and it’s probably easier to film without elaborate historical costumes in focus all the time, and i bet it would also be hard to keep enola being alone all the time interesting without her internal dialogue, even). also, edith! and i can appreciate not having a crossdressing character as a villain (twice) -- the books definitely have their flaws.

but... a couple things. -i thought the Tewksbury/Enola parts were pretty damn cute, and i’m a plant nerd myself so i adore that movie!Tewks is also, but it’s such a weird choice to give enola a relationship with a boy. just. this is enola holmes. i really can’t see her as anything but aro, ace, or lesbian. friendship with tewky? absolutely. romantic tension...? c’mon are we being serious tho for reals cecily is right there 

-one of the things that really resonates with me about enola holmes is that she starts out believing her whole family hates her for her mere existence, that she needs to make up for the fact that she was born. she spends the entire series conflicted and unsure about her mother. enola holmes is a fun mystery romp, yes, but it’s also a story about a mother who chooses herself over her child, a story about a mother who loved her child as well as she was able and sometimes that wasn’t enough!

i’m glad for movie!enola, really, that her mother loves her and spent every moment with her and was the kind of mother who never really struggled in the same way to be a mum, apparently. but -- book!eudoria cared about enola, and enola still loves her, and their relationship is complicated and not at all just about who Eudoria is as a mother, but also about who she is as a person. And where else is this? what other book tells that story? especially from the child’s pov, with sympathy yet for the mother! it makes me really sad that that particular story was erased. (i could probably go on about this, but i’ll leave it for now.)

i’m also sad that the story of enola outsmarting sherlock because enola pays attention to ‘womanly’ things and sherlock doesn’t notice/care for them is lost in the movie. maybe it’s still there a bit, but mostly movie!enola fights and wears boys’ clothes and hates plants and anything to do with traditionally ‘feminine’ things (and also, for some fucking inexplicable reason, she isn’t good at bicycle??? what?). again i don’t dislike these things! esp the wearing boys’ clothes; i can really get behind the sheer chaos and genderqueerness of enola bribing boys to switch clothes with her whenever she wants. but it’s so directly against the more unique story and characterization in the books. enola holmes of the books doesn’t, necessarily, like makeup or plants or, like, upper class manners inherently, but she pays attention to them and she uses them. and she does say that she really likes pretty clothing and doesn’t want to dress up as a boy. enola holmes succeeds because she pays attention to embroidery and bouquets and talks to women gently, listens to women gently.

enola holmes of the books very much lives within her society. i find the story of “girl very cleverly figures out how to break the rules of her society in quiet ways to her own benefit (and for the purposes of helping others) without ever thinking about heroism or revolution” is not a story i have seen much. it’s one that means something to me. the story the movie tells is fun, but i’ve seen that story -- heroine inspired by/with family & friends to Fight The System is every fifth movie and it’s a good story, it really is, but how many times do i have to see that before i get another quiet story that’s nonetheless about breaking things and helping people in whatever ways you can.

[s-j-ace]

The Same Question

Chapter One

Characters: Shuichi Saihara, Ouma Kokichi

Words: 6738

Summary:

After Detective Shuichi Saihara encounters mysterious thief Kokichi Ouma for the first time, a game of cat and mouse ensues as both men ask themselves the same question. Why exactly does the elusive phantom thief do what he does?

Sequel to the events of That’s the Thing About Airplanes and New Plan!

Read on AO3

 Kokichi Ouma had always found it strange how he could sit in a room full of people yet feel utterly alone in the universe at the same time.

 The thought occurred to him once more as he sat among his crew in a little hole in the wall cafe tucked in the shadows of the city of lights, and it was very much out of character. The scenario Kokichi described to his crew, as they drove away from the Louvre in the beat up looking SUVs they had secretly loaded up with stolen plumbing parts, was that of a birthday party. They were all twenty something Parisians who had gotten out of bed extra early to take their friend out for a birthday surprise. How fun! How quaint! How unsuspicious!

 … but in reality it was just an excuse for Kokichi to try and shake off the weird mood he was in with decadently sugary crepes. He had pitched it to DICE as a sort of celebratory feast of a heist well done, but honestly Kokichi had never felt so bored after stealing something in his whole life.

 For some reason or another he had felt exhilarated on the plane ride in, but as soon as he got to the actual stealing part everything felt all samey and routine again. He even let Queen make off with a painting of some big dumb flowers that he wanted, hoping that it might spice things up, but now it was just lodged under the seat cushions next to a bunch of fancy looking elbow pipes.

 Ugh.

 Now that he really thought about it the painting would probably make escaping Paris even more boring…  News outlets wouldn't run the headline "Pipes and toilets stolen from the Louvre," when they could run the headline "Priceless painting of pretentious looking flowers stolen from the Louvre." It'd make it easier to sell the plumbing because interpol would be keeping their eyes on the fine art black market instead of Craigslist offers for scrap metal.

 Well maybe that was a good thing. Kokichi didn’t want them to get caught selling the pipes, after all. DICE was a bit of a scrappy group from the start and their heists had been decreasing in profitability recently for the expense of spectacle. Bishop told him that their accounts were doing fine and they had enough cash saved up for some frivolous heists, but Kokichi could do math too and thought Bishop’s accounts were slightly suspect.

 They were probably just telling him that to make him feel better. Maybe they had noticed that something was off with him. Maybe they were planning with the rest of DICE to overthrow him as the boss and put someone less stupid and predicable in charge instead.

 No, Bishop couldn’t do that to him. They weren’t a good enough liar. None of them were good enough liars. Kokichi knew them too well. For instance, right now he knew that Bishop and Ace were having a conversation that Rook was waiting to butt in on, Spade and Club were talking about Mario Kart and Spade was acting like she agreed with what Club was saying even though she didn’t, Queen was pretending to be doing some important coding but was definitely on reddit,  King was planning to shove some whipped cream in Rook’s face as soon as he finished his crepe, and Hearts and Jack were leaning in the corner of the four person booth they had all crammed into like a clown car with their legs on top of everyone else’s with Hearts on top of Jack’s lap about to fall asleep while Jack was very noticeably not noticing even though she definitely did notice because Hearts’ boobs were right in her face.

 There was so much lying happening, so much play acting, yet everything added up into an equation that seemed all the more sincere. DICE were genuinely celebrating another successful heist. For them, nothing was wrong.

 That was so bizarre.

 Everything seemed wrong to Kokichi. He felt trapped. He felt like they were all trapped. How could he ever know that his people were genuinely happy when to his knowledge people had to question everything that they found themselves doing. Take, for example, the crepe he had eaten moments ago. He had eaten it in an odd way where he started from the bottom of the crepe’s fold and ate outwards, preserving a perfect ring of outer crepe rind. It didn’t really enhance the taste in any way, seeing as the crepe had a completely even cook, but Kokichi had insisted it did as he ate it regardless because he knew that was in character of the person he had established himself to be. He was the kind of guy who just casually committed food crimes. It’s not that it didn’t still bring him joy to see the faces of his crew scrunch up in disapproval, but it made him wonder if the rest of them realized the same thing about their own behaviors. That they acted a certain way and thought a certain way because of a tacit, invisible social code of who they should be and how they should act towards others, regardless of their own intrinsic motivations.

 It made it hard to tell what lay behind their faces. If they were really happy behind the smiles.

 They had to be happy, right?

 Yeah, if he looked up happy in the dictionary he’d probably see a photograph of King shoving whipped cream in Rook’s ear. Like he was doing right now.

 Everyone was safe and having a good time, and yet Kokichi felt like he was watching it all happen from a far away place.

  Was Rook really angry as they slugged King in the arm or were they just pretending to be angry because they knew that was the part they had to play in the overall scene of this social interaction?

  Kokichi glanced at the other DICE members’ faces. Spades and Clubs were still having their own conversation about a Blue Shell conspiracy theory, but everyone else seemed to be laughing at or pretending not to laugh at King. The thought occurred to Kokichi that he should probably try to match their facial expressions, but upon inspection he found that he was already grinning full force.

 Weird.

 He let the lie lay flat.

 Immediately everyone turned to look at him. That was normal, he was their boss. If he wasn’t happy it meant something was wrong. Except it was also weird. There used to be times when Kokichi was very young where he could be in the middle of a room full of people say anything he wanted at the top of his voice without being heard. He wasn’t the same person on the outside of his head as he was on the inside of his head and he knew that and he used it to his advantage. But would he ever be able to escape it?

 …

 …

  Okay! That was a series wrap on overanalyzing shit and having memories! Time to not think about any of that ever again!

 “I’m bored of crepes.” He whined. “We should go somewhere else.”

 Instantly everyone’s face lit up with excitement. “We should go somewhere else” had become a sort of ritual phrase that now meant “Convince me what our next heist should be.”

 Everyone started talking at once.

 “There’s this casino-”

 “The Taj Mahal! We should do the-”

 “Fort Knox! I wanna-”

 Kokichi raised his hand and the clamoring voices stopped instantly.

 “One at a time, shortest to tallest, and not so loud.” He nodded slightly to the woman sitting on a stool behind the cash register. They probably didn’t have to worry much about her. It appeared that she only understood french when she took their orders earlier and now she seemed to be checking her phone disinterestedly. They had also chosen to sit in the booth furthest from the register so really there was very little chance she would overhear them say something that would get them in trouble, but you could never be too sure.

 “Well, boss. Most esteemed mastermind. You lovely bastard you,” Spades, the shortest of DICE save for Kokichi himself, schmoozed exaggeratedly. Kokichi could tell she didn’t really have an idea but wanted to draw out her turn as long as possible because Clubs had an idea and she was teasing him like an annoying older sister. She was probably going to pull Buckingham Palace. “I have the best idea. The most creative. The most innovative.” Buckingham Palace was so ridiculously easy to get into that there was entirely no point in wasting a trip to Britain on it. There was some drunk guy who just wandered into it and found the Queen’s bedroom. Twice. “It’ll be tough, but with our unique set of skills I think we’ll be able to pull it off.” So when someone didn’t have an idea, to pass they’d say Buckingham Palace. “And it’ll be well worth it. Our names will go down in history.” And then Kokichi would give a funny excuse why they weren’t going. He should probably start thinking of one now while Spades was still blabbering. “The biggest heist of all time.” Hmm… How about… Yeah that was a good one. “Home of her royal majesty herself, Buckingham Palace!”

 Everyone groaned as if this weren’t an entirely predictable twist to Spade’s monologue.

 “Uggh, Spade you know I can’t go back to Buckingham Palace.” Kokichi groaned. “Last time I was there I saw Prince Phillip dressed in a corgi fursuit being tugged around by the queen on a leash. I’m still trying to erase the image from my mind.”

 That got an easy guffaw from Ace and a smattering of giggles from everyone else. Not bad, but he’d come up with funnier before.

       Jack giggled longer than the others. Kokichi knew that meant she was waiting for everyone to quiet down so she could one up him with her own bit.

       He raised an eyebrow. “Something to say, Jack?”

       “Ooh… Well… I was just wondering if that’s the real reason we can’t go back.”

 She paused for a second as if expecting him to “yes, and” her, but he decided to let her fend for herself on this one.

 “I mean. What was it you said to      your     husband on the plane?” Shit. “Didn’t you tell him you wanted him to beg like a dog?” How much of that conversation did she hear? “I don’t know, sounds like Prince Phillip might’ve awakened something in you.”

       “Awwww,” King crooned, “Boss Baby’s first fetish.”

       Kokichi wasn’t really bothered by this implication beyond the fact that, judging from the smattering of snickers, it was getting better laughs than his original comment. He needed to swing this.

       “Puhlease. Who would be into pet play when feral rats are clearly the sexiest creatures on the planet?”

       “Is that why you spend so much time trying to look just like one?”

       “Why Jack, I’m flattered you think I look just like the sexiest creature on the planet, but I’ll have you know I’m married.”

       Hearts was nice enough to take the bit. “To who?”

       “Not that plane detective?” Bishop prodded. Or maybe they said “plain” detective? Maybe it was a pun. Good on you Bishop.

       “No, heavens no. I’m married to Ratatouille himself.” Kokichi’s rather strangely eaten crepe was about to work out pretty well in the grand scheme of japery. He unfurled the remaining ring of crepe edge and put it around his wrist. “Want proof? Here’s the ring. Isn’t it beautiful?”

       “Gorgeous!” Queen enthused. It didn’t seem like he was really paying attention, with his eyes glued to his laptop, but Kokichi appreciated his support nonetheless.

       Jack frowned. “Isn’t the rat from Ratatouille’s name Remmy?”

       “You’re right it’s not Ratatouille, it’s Ratatouille’s monster.” Rook chimed in, definitely quoting a tumblr post.          “No, no, no, I’m not married to the rat, I’m married to the concept of Ratatouille.” He made a romantic gesture. “The one we hold dear in all of our hearts.”

       “Oh, of course, of course.” Ace tried to nod sagely, but the effect was ruined by the big grin on their face. Ace had a hard time not laughing at everything, especially their own jokes.

       Club had been pouting this whole time. With this whole thing about Kokichi being into dogs diffused it was probably time to hear out his suggestion. Kokichi was about to say as much, but before the mirth died down long enough to change the subject, Queen interjected.

       “Uh, boss.” He said, turning around the laptop he had been fiddling with the whole time. “Speaking of rats… There’s one on the news making himself a loose end...”

       On the screen was a distressed looking headline in french accompanied by a picture of the detective himself, Shuichi Saihara.

       Kokichi’s heart leapt.

       Then he noticed that it leapt.

       And that his hand had begun moving to fiddle with the bandage on his finger.

             He stopped himself just in time.

         ---

       Shuichi Saihara had always found it strange how quickly his body could turn on him.

       He had been fine, on the plane untangling his seat belt while alarmed chattering spread like wild-fire throughout the plane.

       He had been fine, explaining to a frazzled flight attendant and captain that no he was not in fact married to the gentleman who jumped out of the plane, who was, as it turns out, an internationally wanted thief.

       He had been fine, making the call to 112 and explaining to the respondent that yes he knew all the police cars were busy with a high profile break-in and that the incident he was reporting was, in fact, related to said break-in.

       And yet, when he sat down, alone on a bench in front of the Paris-Charles De Gaulle airport surrounded by the crisp night air the thought crossed his mind that DICE had robbed the Louvre by now. That they had gotten away, and it was all his fault. All his fault.

       And then Shuichi pulled out his phone and dialled the number of his very good friend Kaito Momota because he was having a panic attack.

       *Beeeeeep….*

       Shuichi knew he was having a panic attack because it felt like the world was ending for no good reason.

 *Beeeeeep….*

       His breathing got shorter. An immense pressure built up behind his eyes, trying to force tears to leak out from underneath them. His hands locked in a vice grip around his phone.

       *Beeeeeep….*

       Three words repeated in his head over and over again like a broken record.      All your fault. All your fault. All your fault.  

             *Beeeeeep….*

       If Shuichi had any presence of mind right now, it might occur to him that there was, in fact, a reason behind this panic attack. That he’d been privy to and partially responsible for so many high stakes cases in his career that the idea of failure made his imagination sick with all the horrifying outcomes his mistakes could cause, including the ones that had actually come to pass. A man looking at him with hatred in his eyes as the police car door shut on him.      All your fault    . A fourteen year old girl hanging from a noose.      All your fault    . The sound of a gunshot in an alleyway.      All your fault    .  The phrase was like the slightest twitch of a finger that could pull back the trigger of a gun loaded with every horrific thing he’d ever seen, heard, or felt. Everything hit his brain in one compact shot and Shuichi didn’t have time to respond in any way except try desperately to avoid going into shock.

       It felt like the world was ending and when the world is ending you call Kaito Momota.

       *Beee-*

       *Click.*

       “...”

       “...”

       “Shuichi?”

       Kaito’s voice sounded groggy and confused over the phone.

       “...”

 “You there, man?”

       Shuichi tried to answer in the affirmative, but he couldn’t seem to force himself to speak. God, he was an idiot. He should’ve just texted. Kaito probably hated him anyway.

       “What’s up, dude? Something the matter?”

       No, Kaito is his friend and things are fine and he just needs to calm down right now.

       “Hello?”

       Okay. Okay. He was just trying to talk the wrong way. His throat was tensed to accommodate his heavy breathing instead of human speech.

       “Shuichi, is that you breathing weird into the receiver?”

       Yeah, okay, see? He was breathing weird. He should… stop that…

       “Ok, dude, whatever’s going on I’m gonna need you to not asphyxiate. Here, breathe with me. Inhale. Two... Three... Four... Five... Exhale. Two... Three... Four... Five...”

 Oh yeah. Shuichi was definitely breathing too fast right now. Panicky fast. Like close to hyperventilating fast. The kind of breathing fast that started squeezing liquids out of your face if you weren’t careful. Not doing that was like the first thing on the not having a panic attack checklist but somehow it was always the one Shuichi forgot first.

 “Inhale. Two... Three... Four... Five... Exhale. Two... Three... Four... Five...” Kaito repeated the rhythm and Shuichi could hear his friend matching it with his own breathing as Shuichi struggled to do the same.

 Inhale. Two... Three... Four... Five...

 As Shuichi counted in his head he felt almost every part of his body loosen to some degree.

 Exhale. Two... Three... Four... Five...

 With the exhale the pressure behind his eyes began to dissipate.

 Pretty soon Shuichi was breathing in a way that the kids these days would call normal. While breathing normally was something human beings needed to do to not asphyxiate, it was quite shocking how physically helpful it was in preventing Shuichi from crying on a bench in front of an airport in Paris.

 He could still feel his heart pounding in his head, but at least his breaths weren’t fighting to outmatch its volume.

 The pounding went away by about the third exhale. He felt his power of speech return after the fourth.

 “... Sorry.” He murmured into the receiver on his cell phone.

 “Nothing to apologize for man. What’s going on?”

 “I. Uh. Am having a panic attack in front of the airport for some dumb reason.”

 “Gotcha gotcha gotcha.” Some shuffling, as if Kaito was repositioning himself on the other side. “I bet it’s not as dumb as you think man. You wanna talk about it, or do you want a distraction?”

 A woman bleeding out on the floor, her face eternally frozen in a scream.       All your fault    .

 “... A distraction is good. Just having, like, intrusive thoughts right now.”

 “Yeah, okay. Gimme a sec to make myself sociable, it’s pretty late here.” Shuichi heard some more shuffling through the speaker. He’d probably woken Kaito up.

 “Sorry.”

 “It’s all good man.” Kaito shuffled around some more. “Hmm… Oh yeah, I had a question at dinner, no one was around to answer.”                “Oh, is Maki out again?” Maki was Shuichi’s friend, Kaito’s partner, and a professional bodyguard. She stood next to people and looked intimidating in a suit for a living. Sometimes she stood next to Shuichi and looked intimidating for free.

 Maki holding a pipe, the end coated in blood.      All your fault    .

 Inhale. Two... Three... Four... Five... Exhale. Two... Three... Four... Five...

 “Yeah, that’s our Maki Roll. Busy as a bee.” There was a scritching sound over the phone that could’ve been static or Kaito itching his stubble. “Since I was cooking for one last night I made Saturn-ghetti.”

 Shuichi wrinkled his nose instinctively. “Ew.”

 Saturn-ghetti was what Kaito called regular spaghetti with one big meatball in the middle. It sounded tame enough now that Kaito made the big meatball on his own, but when he first introduced Shuichi and Maki to the concept it was in their college’s cafetorium and he had just taken all the meatballs from a regular spaghetti and meatball dish and mashed them all together into one big ball in the middle. Shuichi had quite literally seen murder scenes less gruesome.

 “Hey man, I don’t judge Maki Roll for dipping fries in shakes or you for dipping bread in soups.”

 “Dipping is normal Kaito. You’re supposed to dip carbs. Everyone does it. You’re the only person in the whole world who mushes meat.”

 What about that guy who used a meat tenderizer to mush his victim’s faces in…

 “Why would you want to eat tiny meatballs?”

 “So you can eat them with the spaghetti.”

 “Can’t a guy just have a separate meat and noodle experience? You can’t even process the flavor if you eat both at once!”

 “They’re supposed to go together. Otherwise, you would just make a meatloaf.”

 “Well I don’t have a recipe for meatloaf Shuichi, I have a recipe for meatballs.”

 “Do you mean meatball, singular?”

 “Yes, I do. Glad we can both agree that’s what I mean since it’s the best way to eat spaghetti. Anyway, back to my problem.”

 “I thought this was the problem.”

 “Saturn-ghetti is not a problem it’s an art. My problem was that when I was making the noodles I realized that I had forgotten what that metal bowl thingy is called. You know, the one with the holes in it.”

 “If only that had stopped you.”

 “Yo, I’m serious! I have no idea what it’s called and it’s been driving me insane all night.”

 “Do you mean a strainer?”

 “No, I know it strains stuff but like there’s a different name for it. Like. It sounds like cauliflower? Except not because it’s not a vegetable.”

 “A colander?”

 “Yeah, that’s it! Jeezus Louizus that was driving me crazy. You’re a lifesaver man, where would I be without you?”

 “Uh probably googling ‘another name for noodle strainer.’” Shuichi didn’t really see how knowing what the metal strainy thing is called could save a life. Maybe if you were getting murdered and had one chance to write down the name of the culprit and you knew their name was the same as what that metal strainy thing is called but you forgot what it was. Wait, no, in that scenario you still got murdered. God, what was wrong with him? Did his brain always have to jump to murder right away?

 “Nah,” Kaito said with conviction. “I wouldn’t be half the man I am without my awesome sidekick around to back up.”

 At the familiar phrase, Shuichi felt his heart warm and the tight ball of anxiety in his gut loosened in turn. “Sidekick,” was admittedly an odd term of endearment for a friend of almost ten years, but if you knew Kaito you knew it was a word that meant something to him. To him, having a sidekick means having someone who you backup no matter what. Even if they make mistakes or aren’t sure of themselves quite yet. Because you believe in them. No matter what.

 “I wouldn’t be where I am today without you either, Kaito.” He sighed. “Not that that’s saying much…”

 “What do you mean by that?” Shuichi could hear the frown in Kaito’s voice.

 “Ugh. Nothing. Or. It’s just.” Inhale, two, three, four. Remember to breathe. “It just feels awful to be having a freak out like this again. I haven’t had a panic attack in like a year. It just feels like sometimes that I’m doing okay and I’m not still some stupid teenager still freaking out because I feel a little guilty about a guy being in prison and my parents not being around because of me and then I have a panic attack at an airport and it feels like I’ve made absolutely no progress at all in dealing with any of my anxieties at all and even though I’ve tried so hard to change who I am I’m still the same pathetic kid I’ve always been.”

 Keep breathing. Exhale, two, three, four.

 “Hey man, it’s okay. We all get those days sometimes. You feeling up to talking about it now?”

 “Which part?”

 “Like, why you were freaking out. It’s usually not for no reason, even if it seems like it.”

 “Uh.” Yeah okay. Breathing was really helping to clear out his head. He was feeling more in control of his general brainspace than he was a second ago, which was good. “Honestly it’s not the worst thing that could’ve happened. No one died. All that happened was the Louvre got robbed.”

 “Yeah, okay that doesn’t sound that bad.”

 “But on the other hand, it was the      Louvre     that got robbed. It’s a national treasure here. The whole country is going to blame me for it.”

 “Wait, sorry, what’s the loo in French again? I know it means the toilet in the UK, but does it mean something else in French?”

 “No, not the loo. The Louvre. The famous museum.”

 “Oooh, yeah. Right, right, don’t listen to me I’m tired.”

 “Oh, sorry-”

 “No, no, keep going. Listening to my sidekick’s problems is more important than catching forty winks.”

 “Uh. Right. So I’ve been tracking DICE for a while now, right?”

 “Uh-huh, the clown guys, I’m familiar.”

 “And I know Maki thought I was crazy, but I knew that they were going to pull this job on the Louvre, right? And so I get on the plane and this weird guy sits next to me. He breaks my seat and pretends to be married to me so that the flight attendant upgrades us to first class.”

 “What the hell?”

 “Is that weird? I couldn’t tell if that was weird or not.”

 “No yeah, that’s shady as shit. Do I need to come to Paris and tell him to step off for you?”

 “No, uh, you’d probably have a hard time finding him, because it turns out? He was the thief the whole time?”

 “Whaaaaaat.”                “Yeah, apparently I was just shooting the breeze with a criminal mastermind and I’m such an idiot I should’ve jumped out of the plane after him without a parachute.” Like that guy they found impaled by a lamp post...

 “Hey man that’s on him, you can’t blame yourself for the existence of criminal- wait did you say he jumped out of the plane?”

 “Yes.”

 “Like, while you were in the air?”

 “Uh, yeah, through the emergency exits.”

 “Duuuuude that’s super dangerous. I don’t know how high up you were but the pressure change could’ve caused all of the oxygen to suck out of the cabin.”

 “That’s… Alarming…”

 It also brought up some interesting questions. Shouldn’t the pilot of the plane have been able to tell that there was a life threatening pressure change in the cabin? Or did DICE do something to tamper with the equipment? Did they manage to jump out at an altitude that wouldn’t be lethal to everyone in the cabin through chance or calculation? In the latter case that might add to the traits profiling the group, the ability implying at least some form of higher education. What about other sources of information? Maybe they bribed the pilot? He’d need to be interviewed. Shuichi would need to make that suggestion when the police got here. They’d probably also want to do a forensic analysis of the drug that was used on the passengers. There’d most likely be some trace of component that they could utilize to locate possible business contacts or country of origin for the thieves. Knowing their flight information was also a great advantage, it meant they could track down several forms of ID. Even if they were faked it would allow for higher scrutiny on future flight paths if Interpol decided to pursue this investigation seriously. Toilets wouldn’t really keep their attention, most investigators at the Smithsonian were more concerned about the mammoth than all the stolen picture frames, so unless DICE made off with something more valuable this time around Interpol probably wouldn’t waste time sending agents over. Then again Agent Ishimaru was the agent in charge of the DICE case now and he was very thorough when it came to his investigations. If Interpol showed up, maybe Shuichi would get a chance to look at the next note when it was sent to them, like he had in America...

 “Hey, am I supposed to be able to track everything it is you’re muttering to yourself there or is that just for you?”

 “Oh, uh,” Hghk he was muttering out loud. “Just for me, sorry. Stuff about the case.”

 “Oh, yeah, okay cool, cool, cool.” Kaito paused for a moment. “Wish I could be there to back you up in person, man. Hurts my soul as a man and your friend that I didn’t support you all the way on this Louvre thing when you brought it up before.”

 “What?” Oh, he meant that thing that Maki said about him needing a vacation. “No, no it’s understandable. I was running on like… fifteen minutes of sleep and fourteen cups of coffee when I told you two about my theory.”

 “Man, I just want you to know that no matter what we’re always here to support you. Even if we get it wrong sometimes we’re just worried you know. Also, you need to sleep more.”

 Shuichi frowned. “You make it sound like you and Maki are my parents.”

 “Nah, parents suck. We’re your friends. Much better.”

 Shuichi laughed at that. “Yeah, okay, fair.”

 Was that a siren Shuichi heard? Maybe?

 “Kaito I think police are gonna be here soon. I gotta go.”

 “Oh, yeah, okay. You feeling better now?”

 Shuichi paused to take mental stock of himself. He tried to remember how he felt before he came outside. Things were fine, he was just doing some damage control. By all means this incident was a break in the case rather than the wrecking ball to his career his more panicked thoughts were trying to convince himself of. He was fine. Things were fine.

 Except…

 “Uh. Yeah, mostly. I guess maybe I’m just tired?” Yeah he was definitely tired.  His eyes felt like they’d just spent the last ten years trying to watch the wind on a mountain peak. “I dunno. Logically I know that everything is fine and I’m doing alright, but that part of me that feels like I’ve failed and I’m going to mess everything up forever is still there no matter what I do.”

 “Hey man, you know what I always say. There’s nothing you can do about the past, but you will always have the power to change what’s happening right now. You’re my sidekick and a brilliant detective to boot, you can do anything.”

 “Right. Yeah. You’re right.” It didn’t really matter that DICE had gotten away with the heist on the Louvre. Plumbing parts and paintings were replaceable. What Shuichi’s investigation had always been concerned with was the amount of unregulated capital DICE was accumulating and what exactly the shady organization was planning to do with it.

 “Now tell me what it is you wanna do right now.”

 “I… I’m gonna track down those thieves.” That would have to be the next step of course. There’d probably be some evidence at the Louvre if the police would let him take a look…

 “Heck yes you are!”

 “And I’m going to figure out what they’re up to.”

 “Hell yeah you are!”

 Shuichi laughed a little at Kaito’s unwarranted enthusiasm, but he let the mirth drained from his expression when he looked up to see the police cars he heard before pulling into the lane in front of the airport. An officer stepped out of the first one and Shuichi stood to wave her over.

 “Ah, the police just got here. I gotta talk to them.”

 “Fuck yeah you do!” Kaito exclaimed with the same level of pep talk energy he’d said every other encouragement with. “Go get ‘em Shuichi!”

 “I will.” Shuichi said, not entirely sure.

 “You will.” Kaito said, completely certain.

     I will.     Shuichi repeated to himself as he hung up and made his way over to the police officers. It seemed like there were three cars. That was kind of odd considering the 112 responder said it’d be two cars. Wait, was that last one a news van?

   Shit.

---

 Parisians are in shock after the theft of Dutch painter Van Huysum’s priceless, centuries old  painting “Vase of flowers in a niche” from the musée du Louvre just this morning. The following interview was conducted with M. Saihara, a private eye known for the recovery of a stolen mammoth skeleton from an american museum, called the Smithsonian, just a few weeks ago.

 Journaliste: What can you tell us about the robbery at this time?

 M. Saihara: It is the working theory of the Paris Police force that the culprits behind the break in at the musée du Louvre are the internationally wanted criminal group known as DICE. These police sketches have been released of two members of this group. If you spot anything or anyone suspicious, please report it to the Paris Police Prefecture.

 Journaliste: Are these the same criminals who robbed the Smithsonian in America a few weeks ago?

 M. Saihara: I believe so.

 Journaliste: Is it likely that the robbers are still in Paris?

 M. Saihara: Very likely.

 Journaliste: What are the chances that the stolen piece will be reclaimed?

 M. Saihara: We don’t have enough information to determine that at this time. Just know that the Paris Police Prefecture is doing everything they can to return it to the people of Paris.

 Journaliste: What of the criminals? Is it likely they will be caught?

 M. Saihara: If I have anything to say about it, yes they will be.

 Journaliste: M. Saihara, do you know if-

 M. Saihara: Je suis désolé Mademoiselle, I must be going now. The Paris police will most likely release a more elucidating press statement when more information is received. Bonne journée.

 Journaliste: Merci, M. Saihara.

       Kokichi Ouma exited out of the google translate tab he’d opened up on Queen’s laptop. At the end of the article were two police sketches. Jack’s didn’t look all that accurate (thank god for contouring) so Kokichi supposed they could all breathe a sigh of relief on that front. Now, the sketch of him on the other hand…

       King whistled and Kokichi realized the taller DICE member was leaning over his shoulder to peer at the screen in front of him. “That detective really got a good look at you.”

       Kokichi scoffed, not wanting to raise unnecessary alarm. “Please. The nose and eyebrows are all wrong.”

       “He really got down the bird’s nest though.” King pointed out, reaching to muss up Kokichi’s effortlessly stylish coiffure.

       “What’d I tell you?” Kokichi preened. “No living creature could forget a face like mine.”

       “You’re right,” King quipped back “It’s a face that haunts nightmares.”

       “A face only a mother could love.” Rook chimed in.

       “And yours gave you away after just one look!” Chirped Bishop.

       “Hey maybe that Saihara guy wants to try lovin’ it instead.” Queen interjected suggestively

       “Okay, okay, can it everyone,” Kokichi raised his hand to silence the spontaneous roast. “I’m thinking.”

       “Club,” He pointed at his second shortest croney.. “Where are we heading?”

       Club, who to his credit had been extremely focused on being polite and waiting for his turn and had definitely earned a heist after mixing ten liters of knock-out drugs in the back of a plane, exclaimed, “Theresthiscasino-” like he had been holding his breath, “-andtheyjustgotthesefancynewlightfixtures and, and, alsothesevintagearcadeconsoles-”

       “Sounds cool.” Kokichi’s tone didn’t give away the fact that he had no preference as to where their next hit was and only had getting out of Paris in mind. “Where’s it at?”

       “Uh. Like, Reno. Which is in Nevada. I think.”

       Kokichi frowned. “Nevada? Is that like a country in South America or something?”

       “Nah, it’s one of the United States.” Informed Ace, the only member who ever got genuinely interested in sight-seeing and therefore the only one who looked at maps that weren’t building schematics.

       Kokichi squinted at that. “We were just in the states. You know I’d rather jump off a building than rob the same place twice.”

       “Boss, you know, actually Nevada is further from D.C. than France is from Ukraine.”

       “What? But aren’t they in the same country?”

       “Yeah, the U.S.A. is just broken like that.”

       Ugh. Weird. Maybe Kokichi should also look at a map of the world some day.

       “Fine, okay, I guess since you twisted my arm, we’ll have to go to Reno.” If Kokichi remembered correctly telephones calling from France started with the area code of one of five regions. Paris had the code of 01, but if they were on the western outskirts it may be 02, or 03 on the eastern outskirts. Then the rest of the phone numbers were eight more randomly assigned numbers. “Let’s head out. Queen, do you still have that program for a spam call bot you showed me three months ago?”

       “Uhh maybe, but I’d need wifi for that.”

       “Okay.” He stood up, pulling out his phone to do some quick googling. “We’re gonna split in two groups. Red smiles with me in group one, we’re driving out to the Tours Val de Loire Airport down south. Make sure you have the right cover story IDs, it’s a three hour drive so prepare yourselves. Bishop, you’re going to have to do my makeup in the car. Everyone else will be in the other van with Queen, group A. After you’ve found a source of wifi, you five will be calling in some false reported sightings. Not too many, but enough in specific places we won’t be going that it’ll misdirect the police. I’ve written down the phone number rules for France on this napkin. If it seems like we’re in the clear you can overflow the system if you want to. Message us with progress updates and we’ll confer about flights and cargo control after group one has reached Tours Val de Loire. Group A will take off from the Orly airport and we’ll meet at Reno-Tahoe International in a few days. I've sent a message in the groupchat with everything I’ve just said, so don’t worry if you missed a detail it’s all there verbatim. Let’s get rolling.”

       “Yes, Boss!” The members of DICE said with varying levels of conviction.

       Kokichi handed Queen the napkin he had written on as the rest of DICE started to stand up from the four seater cafe booth they’d all crammed into like a clown car. He grabbed another napkin that he would use to write the next note to interpol. What would the six layers of cipher be this time? What about a set of random symbols equated to numbers that would represent the coordinates of katakana strokes in a one unit box which would then translate to english letters in a polyalphabetic cipher which would reveal the riddle? Wait that was only five layers. Eh, he could work on it in the-

 Kokichi saw detective Saihara’s photograph on the monitor out of the corner of his eye and his swirling thoughts came to a momentary hallt..  It seemed like the picture had been taken hurriedly outside of the Paris de Gaulle. It was blurry and a little dark. All Kokichi could really see was that his shirt was half untucked and his hair was so messy you could hardly tell he had eyes. Kokichi found himself wishing he could get a good look at those eyes. Just to tell what the detective was thinking.

 Not that it mattered.  

       Kokichi closed the computer and slid it over to Queen as he exited the booth.

       As he handed it over, Queen gave him an odd look, like he had noticed something. “Where’d you get that cut, boss?” he asked.

       “I punched through a window with my bare hands, just to feel something again...” Kokichi replied, putting on an exaggerated grimace.

       Queen gave him a look that said ‘what did I expect’ and followed the rest of the gang out of the shop.

       The Louvre heist was as good as over. He’d gotten away with it already.

       Kokichi wondered if any of the heists to come would be at all helpful in the war against tedium he had been fighting his entire life.

 “If I have anything to say about it, yes they will be.”

 Kokichi realized he was fidgeting with the bandage on his finger.

 …

 Good bye, Paris.

[bangtan-gal]

Wet Cement

Wet Cement

Yang Jeongin x Fem!Reader

Warnings: fluff, angst, swearing, pretty basic, his is like, the most normal one, crack

Word Count:6.2k

Abilities: Empath, Charmer

Art wasn’t your thing, but you found yourself in the class when your best friend, Remi, dragged you into the slightly broken down studio. The first several classes sucked; the teacher droning on and on about different techniques, old couples slowing down the class as they had the instructor repeat the easy instructions, and all in all, you were forced to act like you liked something that you despised. Remi ignored your complaints and whines, telling you that it was a “learning experience.”

Yeah right.

When you stepped into class today, Remi was nowhere to be seen. Figuring she was late, you sat down at your usual table and drummed your fingers noisily on the desk as you waited. The class started and she was still nowhere to be seen. You frowned, half-heartedly accepting the piece of paper the instructor handed you. If she ditched you, there would definitely be a bloody mess somewhere.

Five minutes into the class, the door obnoxiously dinged. You ignored it as you stared at the paper and only looked up when the chair beside you became occupied. Instead of long, light brown hair, chubby cheeks, and shiny blue eyes, you were greeted by short and red-dyed hair, sharp cheekbones, and deeply colored eyes. Your gazes met for a moment and then you quickly looked away, cursing your stupid friend. Now you’d have to take this miserable class with some stranger beside you.

As you sat there, thinking of a million different ways you could murder Remi, the instructor talked to the newcomer.

“Yang Jeongin.”

His voice was sweet and out of the corner of your eye, you saw him flash a quick smile. Heat spread over your cheeks and you tried your best to focus on the paper before you. As class went by, your elbows kept bumping, knees kept knocking, and fingers would brush each time the two of you reached for the same tool. Neither one of you said a thing as you scratched and scribbled aimlessly on your papers.

“Well, good job everyone, I’ll see you on Thursday!” The lady chirped, clasping her hands together and sporting a smile that was way too big. You sighed and grabbed your purse, ready to dart for the door.

A tap on your arm stopped you.

“Is this class… like actually worth it?” Jeongin whispered, side-eyeing the teacher who was barely five feet away. You glanced at her and then back to him, shrugging. You were the last person to ask—you still hated art. You hated looking at it, attempting it, or just in general, thinking about it.

You loudly sighed, trying to embrace your inner Positive Polly.

“Y-yes?”

Well, that worked.

The red-haired boy raised an eyebrow at you. You pursed your lips together in an awkward smile and then started backing away. You maintained eye contact until you ran into a table, tripped, and then tried (and failed) to regain your footing. Your eyes pinched shut as you sat on your ass, on the cold, nasty art floor that was covered in dried paints, eraser shavings, and other shit.

It didn’t help that when you opened your eyes and saw that everyone who was left was staring at you. Jeongin’s face was squished up as he tried to keep his mouth closed and the laughter inside. When your gaze’s met, he looked away and a small bubble of laughter escaped which then turned into a whole fit.

You stood up with a groan, quickly whirling around and racing for the door. Jeongin shouted hey and as you stumbled out onto the busy plaza, the boy caught up and crashed into you. He caught you before you could fall on your face and you stood there, hands over your face and grumbles coming out around them. How was your life so unfortunate that you just had to keep embarrassing yourself in front of this cute boy?

“Cute?” You mumbled, pulling your hands away from your face. Where the fuck did that come from? He was annoying. He was the one who caused you to fall the first time and almost fall the second. But he also saved you from falling the second time. “Whatever.”

“Are you okay?” The boy asked wearily, leaning around you to try and look at you. You stared at him from the corner of your eye before you coughed and nodded.

“Just allergies.”

What?

He bit his lip and a soft gasp of laughter escaped him.

“So… what you said earlier sounded more like a question. Is the class really worth it?” He asked, waving a hand in front of your face. You blinked and then turned to meet his gaze. You exhaled again.

“I hate art.” Well, that wasn’t what you meant to say.

He opened his mouth, closed it, pointed to the building you just left and then to you, and then opened his mouth again.

“Okay, bye! Good to meet you!” You shrieked and then hurried off.

➻➻➻➻➻

When you woke up Thursday morning, you really questioned if getting out of bed was worth it. Remi had gone on vacation to 127 District and wouldn’t be back for a couple weeks. You hated the class, you hated the teacher, the other students, the creaky stools, the weirdly slanted sunroof, the outdoors, people in general, socializing, sunshine, hot weather, cold weather—

You were getting carried away.

(But the only thing you really liked was your bed because nothing could go wrong there.)

As you slugged out of bed and got dressed, figuring you may as well since Remi paid for the class, you prayed that Jeongin wouldn’t be there. That your weird answers would scare him away and you could just have your own table until Remi returned. You stepped out of your apartment, groaning at the heat that hit you.

The walk to the studio was miserable. It was hot and sticky and people kept bumping into you. For once, you were actually happy when you stepped into the studio, the AC running over your body. You moved down the aisle, going for your table and then stopped. A boy with red hair sat on one of the stools, head resting in his arms. You grumbled as you threw your purse to the floor beside the available seat and then sat down. When you looked at the boy, your eyes widened. He was deadass sleeping.

You looked around, almost as if to say: “does anyone else see this shit?” but no one else seemed to care. In silence, you set up your portion of the desk, your OCD kicking in as you straightened out the paper and pencils. You bit your lip, struggling with one pencil that seemed to decide that rolling around was a good-fucking-idea.

“That’s cute.”

You jumped, your knee smacking into the bottom of the desk and sending supplies flying. Eyes darted towards you as pencils and paintbrushes noisily rolled over the floor. You grumbled an apology as you slid off the chair to pick them up. Aggression roiled through you as you slammed them back down on the table and sat down with a huff. You turned to the red-haired boy with a scowl, which only deepened when he was making the same squishy face as yesterday.

“Don’t laugh at me, this is your fault!” You hissed, pointing a finger at him.

He giggled.

“How? It wasn’t my knee that bumped the table,” he pointed out. You rolled your eyes.

“Yeah but—”

You weren’t given time to rebuttal as the instructor started up class. You shot one last glare at the boy before you pretended to pay attention. When the teacher stopped talking and people picked up their pencils, you followed suit, and started doodling whatever came to mind. You’d done this the past several classes, and so far, you hadn’t been caught. Or at least, the teacher didn’t really care.

“That doesn’t look like nature,” Jeongin whispered as he leaned over to stare at your paper. You elbowed him.

“Nature can be whatever the fuck it wants to be,” you retorted.

“So you mean I could draw a dick on my paper and get away with it?”

You started choking on nothing, a mix of laughter and coughs escaping you. You hit your chest a couple times, sending an unimpressed look the boy’s way. He didn’t seem to care though as he leaned back in his chair, looking way too proud. You frowned and went back to drawing circles and sticks and other random things. You managed to ignore the boy for several minutes.

You lost your shit when you looked over at his paper by accident. There wasn’t just one dick on his paper, but a ton. Your mouth dropped open and you covered it as you tried to keep in your laughter. He finally noticed your stare and the two of you stared at one another, both of you trying to keep in your laughter. Suddenly, you didn’t have such an indifference towards the boy. You’d never met somebody with such lack of filter, such an uncaring attitude.

“I can’t believe this,” you mumbled and then giggled. He smirked and then chuckled as well.

You ended up surviving the rest of the class, a small smile on your face and it would widen every time you looked over at the hundreds of dicks on Jeongin’s paper. It got even better when you had to turn in your work. Jeongin proudly signed the page and then handed it into the instructor. You both watched as her eyes bugged out and then she accepted it with an unsure smile.

“So, no allergies today?” He asked, bumping his shoulder into yours as the two of you wandered along the sidewalk. You frowned.

“No.”

Jeongin snorted and then his attention was diverted to his cellphone. You shamelessly peeked over his shoulder, trying to read the text. The redhead glanced at you before he flicked your forehead. You backed up, pressing your hand to your face and sending an annoyed look his way. He typed in an answer to the next, a soft sigh escaping him, before he turned to you with a somewhat melancholy smile.

“Do… do you wanna go grab some lunch, maybe?” He asked, shoes scuffing at the cement. You raised an eyebrow.

“Is this how the boy, who drew male genitalia all over his paper and shamelessly turned it into the teacher, asks out a girl?” You scoff.

“Hey!” He huffed, “who said I was asking you out? You’re nosy and ugly!”

You wiggled your eyes and pinched his elbow before you skipped off. The boy followed you and the two of you argued over a place to eat. You blamed it on the fact that there were too many places to eat in the Upper City. He blamed you, saying that you were too stubborn for your own good.

“Whyyyyy, it’s good food though,” he whined as you dragged him away from the italian place.

“I want burgers dumbass,” you snipped.

He wrinkled his nose. “My fucking god—burgers? Why not chicken? Fish? Pork? You want a cow of all things. Fake beef is disgusting anyways. At least fake chicken is close to the real thing!”

You opened your mouth and then closed it. You tilted your head curiously at the boy, not caring that the two of you had stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. People grumbled curses at you as they shoved past you. He stared back at you and then scratched the back of his neck. You’d never had the luxury of real meat or fresh produce. Who was this mysterious boy, who didn’t give two fucks about others opinions, laughed at strangers, and yet, lived the life of perfection?

“Yeah,” you said sarcastically, “fake beef is totally disgusting.”

He went silent and his gaze lowered to his shoes. You pursed your lips and the two of you stood there, letting the stream of people pass by.

“Sorry, we can go get burgers. I’ll pay.”

The boy turned and then reached for your hand, pulling you along with him. Butterflies erupted in your stomach as his fingers wrapped delicately around your hand. The two of you finally made it to the joint. It was mostly empty and the two of you sat down at the far corner, a perfect view of the busy street. The two of you were silent through most of the meal, not speaking until you had finished your burger and the redhead carefully poked at his.

“Are you from the Upper City?” You queried. You played mindlessly with the napkin in front of you, tearing it up and creating a little mountain on your plate.

He paused, eyes glancing down as he let his thoughts run.

“Well… I grew up in the Upper City, but I live in the Deepy City now,” he explained and when he looked up and saw your face, he rolled his eyes. “No. We don’t party there all the time. It’s actually a pretty chill place. Maybe you should come visit sometime uppity girl.”

You snorted and blew your pile of napkin at him. He swatted them away, running a hand through his hair, and then flung his straw at you. You giggled, catching the straw before it could get you.

“Isn’t the Deep City… like gang infested?” You stage-whispered, leaning across the table. The redhead sighed again, sounding thoroughly unimpressed.

“What is up with people and assumptions these days?” Then he trailed off, eyes glazing over. He shrugged. “I guess you’re not wrong. There’s a constant stream of crime, fights, and… depending on the day, it’s not the safest place at night.

“But, I mean, if you’re on the main street, it’s actually really safe. Most of the fights are on the outer edge and that’s just because territory is easier to control. It’s absolutely gorgeous at night. Fairy lights, every Friday there’s a live band, and the water features look really cool at night. Plus, the street food is fucking amazing.”

You nodded as you listened. The image floated in your mind and it sounded wonderful. When you were little, a carnival came to the Upper City from JYP and it was magical. It hasn’t come back since and you’ve always wanted to relive that moment. The Upper City was the “rich people” city of District 9, but it wasn’t pretty. Some houses and apartments were gorgeous, but at the end of the day, it was plain.

“You know… today is Thursday,” Jeongin hummed.

“Oh my fucking god, no way,” you gasped, “I better go put that on my calendar.”

He wasn’t a fan of your sarcasm.

“And that means tomorrow is Friday: possibly, just possibly, you could come down to the Deep City and experience the experience?”

The offer warmed your heart, but you would never let the boy in front of you know what a sap you actually are. So you rolled your eyes as you picked at your nails, pretending to weigh the pros and cons. The honest truth was that the only thing that filled your mind was pros and in some way you were scared of them.

Specifically the part where you brain decided that a pretty big pro would be spending time with Jeongin.

➻➻➻➻➻

You felt stupid. You’d spent hours trying to put out some cute, chic outfit in order to somehow flatter the boy. And then, when the two of you met up at the Main Plaza in Upper City, he stood in jeans, a t-shirt, and an old ratty flannel. It was awful sitting there in your fancy “beach” (maybe beaches existed before the Collapse, but now they were a figment of imagination) pants, a fancy, short-cut shirt, along with your nice pair of sneakers and some carefully picked out jewelry.

If Jeongin noticed your attempts, he didn’t comment on them. Nor did he make fun of how overdressed you were. It felt even worse as the two of you sat on the bus together and you swore to god that every-fucking-one was staring at you. Was it such an odd sight, the two of you? A pretty boy, who didn’t even have to try to look like he just stepped out of a magazine and some simple, psychopath that was you.

“Does that old lady really have to stare into my soul?” You whined to him. He glanced her way and then waved, a big smile appearing on his face. The lady looked away, skin turning an ashy white. Your jaw dropped open.

He raised an eyebrow at you. “Sometimes if you let people know that they’re staring, they’ll leave you alone.”

You just stared at him.

He waved at you.

You smacked his hand away. “Asshole.”

He laughed and the bus quickly came to a stop after, a scratchy voice announcing that you were in the Heart of the Deep City. Jeongin stood up, quickly grasping your hand and pulling you along with him. You stumbled off the bus behind him and glanced around.

The sun was just starting to set, casting a pink and orange glow across the towering buildings. Fairy lights were starting to flicker to life and you could see a faint glow in each of the fountains. People bustled about and you were glad to see that most of them were dressed like you. Now, it was Jeongin that looked like the idiot. You snickered to yourself, causing the boy in question to send you a weird stare.

“It doesn’t get good until real late, but until then, I can give you a quick tour,” he hummed.

The two of you made your way down the street. You passed hundreds of people and you saw a huge difference between the Upper City and the Deep City very quickly. Not just in setting, but in the people. Each one of them had something more different, more unique to them. Apparently, coloring your hair was a huge thing here. You rarely saw it in the Far Country or where you lived. You’d done it once as a kid and had been considered a sociopath, getting kicked out of class for the day, not allowed to return until it was back to its original color.

“Oooohhhh, this place is really good,” he said, pointing out a Korean grill. Then he leaned into you, “it’s run by a gang and they casually steal meat from the JYP district.”

You stared at him in disbelief and then back to the restaurant. It looked quaint—cute. You could faintly see a woman bustling around in there, looking too sweet to possibly work for a gang.

“You’re lying,” you grumbled.

“Nope,” he chirped, grinning like a maniac, “I’ll take you there someday and you’ll see: real beef. It’s a family gang, so they’re more friendly. But since you’ve already had dinner, we’re getting ice cream.”

You barely registered the last part after you heard the ‘someday’. The promise of a future had your heart stuttering and face heating up as the boy continued to drag you down the street. You didn’t fall this easy, you shouldn’t fall this easy. You didn’t know him that well—he was a total stranger—but yet, the idea of falling victim to his charms, wasn’t that bad. Because, as childish as it sounded, you could already picture a future with him.

The farther you were dragged into the city, the more shocked you were. Children ran around, dressed in bright colors and tossing around balls. Among the ocean of people, you barely spotted anyone that looked the same. There were carvings in the cement and a million apple blossom trees, that were just gorgeous. Fairy lights of various colors hung from overhangs and patios. Buildings made purely of glass sparkled in the dusk.

It actually felt… safe.

“This is crazy,” you mumbled as Jeongin stopped in front of an ice cream truck.

He grinned. “I told you. What flavor do you want?”

“Just chocolate,” you hummed.

He swiftly ordered and thanked the man once two cups were handed to you. He gave you yours and then led you down the street, where a bunch of stone benches surrounded a beautiful water feature. You quickly noted how small the bench was as you sat down. Your thighs pressed together, but you couldn’t squirm away without causing one of you to sprawl onto the ground. You tried to focus solely on your ice cream and not on the warmth that radiated from his body.

It was hard until the boy stole a scoop of your ice cream.

You blinked, mouth widening.

He sent you a cheeky grin.

“You dick!” You snapped, trying to cover your ice cream from any other attacks.

Jeongin didn’t reply as he simply dug back into his own cup, letting his eyes wander over the scenery around you. You followed his lead, watching as the world only became brighter when it should’ve become darker. As the sun sunk lower and lower into the horizon, the energy of the city went higher and higher.

It was all ruined when you noticed that Jeongin took another scoop of your ice cream, although this time some of his ice cream was on his spoon still.

You gasped, “did you just contaminate my ice cream?”

“What? Me? Never,” he exclaimed, looking around in horror.

“I can’t believe you!”

“I can’t believe whoever did this, either!” He mocked and then winked at you. You glared at him, grumbling as you handed him your now empty cup. Jeongin took it with a frown, mumbling something about how he wasn’t your slave. As he got up to search for a trashcan, he paused, almost as if remembering something, and then turned to you. “You gotta come with me.”

You stubbornly crossed your arms. “Why?”

“It’s a beautiful place, but don’t be fooled. People have been attacked during broad daylight here and other people won’t even bat an eyelash. Everyone’s number one priority are themselves. I’m not going to let you get jumped,” he said and held out a hand to help you up. You obliged, clasping his hand. The two of you wandered around until you found a trashcan.

As the two of you walked along, you stumbled across a part of the sidewalk that was blocked off. The redhead curiously glanced over the yellow tape and then sent a grin your way, pointing down. You walked over, noting the wet cement that lay there.

“Should I draw a dick in it?” He queried.

You opened your mouth, ready to protest, but the boy was already crouching down. You huffed and bent down beside him, watching as he poked in the shape. What was up with him and dicks? What was up with YOU and dicks? You crouched down next to him, ignoring his little work of art as you pressed your hand into the wet cement. It clung to your hand for a moment and then you pulled it back, satisfaction running through you at the hand print. Jeongin watched you and then placed his hand next to yours, a bigger handprint appearing in the cement beside yours.

“The perfect signature for our first date,” he declared.

“Yeah, sure” you huffed, wiping your hand off on his flannel and dragging him away. You wandered closer towards the middle of the city, wondering when the Friday night events would start up.

“A band should be starting up anytime now,” he mentioned and then you heard the start of a song somewhere nearby. Jeongin started sprinting and you raced after him, struggling to catch your breath once you reached the stage. You didn’t recognize the song and you weren’t sure if the redhead did, but he didn’t seem to care as he softly started to sway to the beat.

The mass of people was surprising. People bounced together in groups, hands raised, and joyful cheers filling the air. You kept yourself pressed to Jeongin, your body starting to sway with his as the two of you let the feeling roll over you. The band was perfect, but yet it gave you that impression. Giggles bubbled from you as the song sped up and Jeongin grasped your hand, forcing you to start jumping with the rest of the crowd.

You were so close at this point, your faces inches apart as the two of you bobbed to the beat. His eyes sparkled under the bright city light and his hair started to fall out of place, soft strands of deep red falling along his eyebrows. The urge to brush them out of his face was strong and you didn’t fight it as you reached up, your fingers running along his smooth skin. The two of you both ceased all movement, his dark eyes boring into yours. Your cheeks were the same color as his hair as his gaze dropped to your lips.

He licked his own before meeting your stare once more.

It was sweet and soft. His lips just barely there as he brushed his thumb over your cheek. You leaned into him, deepening the kiss as you did so. His hands dropped from your face to your waist and he pulled you tightly against him. It was no longer the two of you in a crowd, but the two of you in an empty world. He tasted like vanilla and his mouth was still slightly cold, a contrast to the warm press of his chest against yours. You carded your hand through his hair and when the two of you pulled apart, your eyes stayed closed for a moment longer, a soft breath puffing out between you.

When you opened them, you were greeted by the soft smile on his face. He rubbed circles on your back and your breathing slowed as you just let yourself fall into him. The two of you stood there, barely moving or breathing as you absorbed the moment. Then a soft laugh escaped him.

When you looked up, you were surprised to see white flurries fall down around you. You reached out, letting one fall on your skin and breathed out when a cold burst through the spot. It was odd, because as the snow came down, it was so warm. People’s cheers grew louder as the flurries fell upon them.

“How crazy is that?” You mused, reaching out to catch more and watching in fascination as they melted.

“Insane,” he whispered, but he was no longer looking at the sky. You refused to meet his heated stare as you looked up into the dark sky. You stuck out your tongue, giggling when several landed and then melted. “Truly insane.”

➻➻➻➻➻

Something took off between you two that day. The two of you hung out together almost everyday. Sometimes it was just lounging around in the Upper City and other times it was wreaking havoc in the Deep City. You also went to Memory Maze for the first time and after getting lost twice in a matter of five minutes and being on the other side of Jeongin’s teasing, you decided you never wanted to go back.

Just as he said, he took you to the Korean grill. Indeed, the food was amazing, and even more so, the beef. It ruined burgers for you and now the idea of eating whatever rubbery stuff they served you was awful. Sure, cows didn’t lead the lives of fresh air that they used to (although, you struggled to imagine what the world was like before the Collapse. Did animals really roam free? Were there actually creatures that could move through the sky?)

Art class became less miserable. Of course, it really helped that Jeongin continued to draw dicks on his paper and shamelessly turn it into the teacher. It was amazing, he got more creative every time. When you were told to draw a building, he very casually drew genitalia shaped bushes. The teacher stopped being surprised every time and instead just looked down right done, but it didn’t get any less funny. Sure, it was immature, but where was the joy in life if you didn’t act your age every once in a while? It’s no fun if you don’t drink before you’re legal.

Now the two of you sat in his room, giggling as he recounted his latest interaction with the mean lady who ran the convenience store down the street.

“She fucking told me that I look stupid with my dyed hair!” He groaned, laying on his back. You snorted, playing with his hair.

“How dare she,” you huffed, shaking your head. He sighed, looking up at you.

“She must be a psychopath,” he decided.

“There is no other reasonable explanation,” you agreed.

The two of you laughed again. Your head fell on his chest, still giggling. He rested a hand a top of your head, his laughter slowly dying down along with his rapid chest movements. You played with a loose string on his sweater, humming a song. He went silent beneath you and his hand stilled in you hair.

“I love this song,” he whispered. You looked at him from under your lashes. He stared at the ceiling, his eyes glazed over. “My mom used to sing it to me.”

You continued to hum the song, drawing a pattern along his chest. As you opened your mouth to ask a question, the door opened. You sat up on your elbows, meeting the gaze of a blue-haired boy. He paused upon the sight of you two and then shrugged.

“Jeongin, there’s dinner on the table if you want some,” he said and shot you one more questioning stare before he left the room.

“That’s Jisung,” he explained as he sat up. “You hungry?”

You nodded and followed him downstairs. As you walked towards the kitchen, your head lowered. Jisung sat on the couch with another boy and you could feel both their stares tearing into you. Just as you disappeared into the kitchen, you peeked a look at them. Jisung no longer stared, but the other one did, and you were shocked by the bright silver that gleamed at you.

“I see where you get your hair dye from,” you teased as the boy pulled a pizza box from the fridge. He chuckled.

“Yeah, runs in the family I guess,” he said and then paused. He cleared his throat and you didn’t question him on what he meant. From the sounds of it, he lost his own family, and if you were him, you would go looking for another one too.

The two of you ate it silence. You feeling too awkward to talk about anything with the two other boys right on the other side of the wall. Jeongin didn’t force you to talk as he mumbled about random things and occasionally ran his hand over yours. You ate your piece and then handed him the crust, snorting when he practically downed it. He paused to stare at you.

“What? I’m still growing,” he grumbled.

You laughed.

“Sure.”

You went silent again as the silver-eyed boy stepped into the kitchen. He walked over to the cabinet, grabbing a bottle of something and a glass. You pretended that you weren’t watching him as he poured himself a quick glass. As he brought it up to his lips, his sleeve moved, and your eyes zeroed in on the tattoo that rested high on his arm. A gray tiger. You’d seen that symbol a million times before.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” you mumbled to Jeongin.

“Down the hall and to the left,” he said as he shoveled another slice into his mouth.

You scrambled away, your heart racing and sweat starting to collect along your collar and hairline. You locked yourself in the grand bathroom, leaning up against the door. Miroh—that was a Miroh tattoo. Why was Jeongin living with someone apart of that gang? Did he know? He had to, the man didn’t try hard to conceal it.

“Most of the fights are on the outer edge and that’s just because territory is easier to control.”

“It’s a family gang, so they’re pretty friendly.”

“I won’t let you get jumped.”

“Yeah, runs in the family I guess.”

Was he apart of the gang?

You closed your eyes and placed your hand over your heart. You were impulsive and careless almost all the time, but you hated assumptions. They were one thing you tried not to commit to, because they ruined lives. You couldn’t just assume that Jeongin was apart of the gang. And if he was, it didn’t make him a bad person. If the person you’ve seen these past few weeks is true, he’s a better person than most.

So, you stepped out the bathroom. As you carefully made your way back towards the kitchen, you stopped when you heard voices. You didn’t want to eavesdrops, but you didn’t just want to walk in mid-conversation either.

“If she doesn’t know what you’re apart of, that means she definitely doesn’t know what you can do,” a voice snapped.

“Would you tell her?” It was Jeongin this time.

“If you’re going to go and fucking fall in love with her, you should!” A different voice this time, sounding a little bit like Jisung.

Was he in love with you?

“Goddammit, Jeongin, just tell her! She’s gonna find out about your abilities sooner or later, you may as well save this relationship before it all crashes and burns!” It was the first voice. You stood there, your heart stopping. Abilities? What the hell does that mean? What can Jeongin do?

Can they all do something?

As the three grew silent, you stood silently for a moment. You backed up towards the bathroom door, loudly letting it swing open. Then you padded down the hallway and slid into the kitchen, glancing around. Jisung and the other boy stood on the other side of the counter, both expressions blank. Jeongin, despite his face being completely blank, you noticed the way his fingers twitched and how his chest heaved a little faster than normal.

“Hey, let’s go upstairs to my room,” he murmured, wrapping an arm over your shoulder. You walked along with him, refusing to spare his comrades another glance.

When the door closed behind you, he sighed and sagged against it. He stared up at the ceiling for a while. You sat down on his bed, working on your lip. Then Jeongin looked down at you, a shimmer of tears in his eyes.

“We have to talk,” he sighed.

“I know,” you blurted out. He frowned. “You’re apart of Miroh, aren’t you?”

The boy stared at you and you just stared back.

Then he slowly nodded.

“Do you know… about the powers?” He whispered, approaching you. You were surprised he didn’t ask how you knew, but relieved at the same time.

“Vaguely.”

He sat down beside you, his hand reaching for yours. Nothing inside you begged to pull away and you realized that this new revelation meant nothing new. He was still the fire that burned in your lungs and you just wanted to have a future with him.

“It’s… it’s not really my place to talk of the other’s abilities and positions. I… I don’t really know how to explain it, but I um, I can sense others emotions and”—he cleared his throat, eyes searching yours—“control their emotions.”

You stiffened, but your hand didn’t move from his. If anything, it tightened. You opened your mouth, uncertainty flickering through you.

“I-I never used it on you, I fucking swear on my life,” he rushed out, “I… the weird thing about you is that I can’t even reach your emotions. Like, at all. That’s why I was so attracted to you when we first met and then afterward it was just… well just you I guess. But holy fucking shit, Y/N, I would never use my abilities on you even if I could. If I really wanted someone to love me, I’d do it the right way.”

You raised an eyebrow and then smirked.

“Do you swear on all those dicks you drew?”

He paused, eyes widening. Then he laughed loudly, nodding. “For fuck’s sake, yes.”

“Well, then, I guess I can’t question you, even if you are some unnatural thing,” you giggled and then pressed your lips to. When you pulled back, a wide smile on your face, he chuckled again.

“I’ve never fallen for others’ smiles before.”

➻➻➻➻➻

The two of you both ran away, struggling to hold in your laughter. Once you were several blocks away, you burst into loud laughter again. You slapped his chest, stumbling into him.

“I still can’t get used to you doing that, but that was amazing!” You exclaimed and then a snort of laughter escaped you. He struggled to catch his breath, leaning over.

“God, I hold too much power,” he gasped, “she actually fucking did it.”

Maybe you should’ve felt bad for the old lady the owned the convenience store that was only a couple of blocks away, but you didn’t. After endless slanted remarks at Jeongin, she finally got what she deserved. Or at least something that would make her look like a dumbass. Sure, it was immature to use Jeongin’s unicorn abilities to trick someone into dying their hair neon yellow, but who acted their age anyway? Age was like cement that was always wet.

[skyefullofdaisies]

Endgame review(ish) LOTS OF SPOILERS

I saw it 2 days ago but needed some time to wrap my head around this one. I have never described a movie as a masterpiece before but this definitely hits all my boxes.

What I liked/loved:

•Watching Thanos die twice in one movie was an honor and a damned privilege.

•Tony and Nebula having a friendship & Carol rescuing them

•Pepperony’s reunion ❤️

•After we jumped ahead 5 years and Scott gets reunited with teenage Cassie. That made me tear up. If they ever do another Ant Man movie it’ll be great to see Cassie old enough to have a bigger role

•Seeing Nat crying and showcasing how much Steve and her have such a great relationship plus Carol’s new bad ass ‘do.

•SEEING PEPPERONY’S NEW LIFE! MORGAN STARK! DAD TONY!

•Tony knowing in the end there’s no way he won’t help. It’s just not in his DNA and insisting nothing changes from the last 5 years

•Dad bod!Thor

•Fucking “Dr.” Hulk. Ffs, Bruce 🤣

•The whole going back in time deal. I’m a sucker for time travel and watching Scott get turned old/young and not knowing which one peed his pants, lmao, and Tony guessing right off the bat what happened

•The renewal of the Tony/Steve friendship and team. I missed the two of them being on good terms

• “Dr. Hulk” half heartedly trying to imitate his 2012 self destroying things. Again, for fuck SAKE, Bruce. 😂

•Cap saying “Hail Hydra” easter egg. Since all of us fans were sooo angry over them making Cap hydra in that comic. Steve being all smug as he walks out with the scepter. Tony having Scott give past!tony freaking arrythmia’s for a distraction then being all smug because he thinks he got away with it just to be mowed down by The Hulk who was angry he had to take the stairs & Tony teasing Steve about his ass and Scott admiring it. Same, dude. Same.

•The entire scene of Dr. Hulk going to get his stone

•Steve fighting himself. The whole thing was gold.

• “I can do this all day.” Annoyed future!steve “I know, I know” & “That really is America’s ass” And god bless that ass, my golden haired freedom baby.

•Steve and Tony teaming up and overruling Scott because damn do I miss Stony

•The entirety of Thor/Frigga & Tony/Howard

•MJOLNIR RETURNS

•Everyone finding out about Nat’s death and her mini funeral. Not that I “liked” it per say but I thought it was a beautifully acted scene on Scarlett’s part. Clint’s reaction had me bawling as well as everyone else. I’m not a Bruce/Natasha shipper at all but still. It was a very hard scene to sit through with the whole theater sniffling behind me since I was in the front row. (Side note: LOVED Natasha’s blond/red hair. It was really pretty on her)

•Dr. Hulk taking one for the team by wearing the infinity gauntlet. After Nat’s death I really think there may have been a small part of him that wouldn’t have minded joining her. I was happy to see him make it though

•Nebula getting through to past!Gamora and taking past!Neb down

•Tony finding Steve and calling him “my guy” GOD DAMN DID I MISS THAT FRIENDSHIP

•Thor doing that lightening clothing transformation thing and having both weapons

•Everyone teaming up to kill Thanos (again)

•STEVE BEING WORTHY & SUMMONING LIGHTNING MY GODDDDD THAT WAS HOT (the entire theatre erupted in cheers when he was standing there with his shield and Mjolnir. The scene was even cooler in 3D) Thor smiling when he saw all this and saying “I knew it”

•Steve preparing to face Thanos and his whole army by himself and then all these portals pop up and IT’S EVERYONE. Again the entire theatre were on our feet clapping, cheering and laughing with joy the second the Wakandians came into view. Best. Scene. Ever.

•Pepper! In! A! Suit! Again!

•Peter and Tony’s reunion! Peter talking a mile a minute and Tony being so emotional he just hugged him. Fuck, man. Right in the feels indeed

•All female heroes teaming up

•Wanda being enraged at Thanos and his royal grape ness being scared of her power as well as Carol’s when she showed up

•The Entire fucking battle. The mini reunions. I could sit here and go on for ages about it. This battle scene pretty much was one of the best ones I’ve ever seen in any movie/tv show ever.

•Tony realizing what Dr. Strange meant when he said “if I told you what had to happen it wouldn’t happen” and the look that passed between them. Stephen looking at him with sorrow.

•Tony, knowing it was gonna kill him, putting the gauntlet on anyway.

•Again watching Thanos lose everything he loved to disintegration like our heroes did and realize he’s lost to the Avengers again then die himself. I don’t think I’ve ever hated a movie villain more than him to date.

•Tony’s death. At this point I was back to trying not to sob out loud in front of a bunch of strangers. Peter��s reaction is what got me going. Pepper’s as well as the rest of the OG Avengers who had been with Tony the longest. Rhodey crying and pulling Peter away. Just writing this now I’ve got tears in my eyes.

•Pepper telling Tony it was okay to go and she and Morgan would be fine

•The funeral. The grown up kid from Iron Man 3 being there. Aunt May and Peter. Sending that wreath out onto the lake. It was a stunning scene. Happy talking to Morgan.

• “I love you 3000”

•Old man!Steve. Look, I do not care what plot holes it creates. This movie was too well done to let stupid technicalities bug me. As a loooong time Steggy shipper I’m so happy he got to live where he wanted to live back in the 40’s with the love of his life. I’m thrilled Peggy got the love of hers. I don’t care that it destroys the Agent Carter show. It got canceled anyway so I just do not care. Nor do I care about whoever Peggy’s husband ended up being (it was Daniel from AC, I think) getting erased. The two of them pined for each other for so long I think it was beautifully done in the end. I wish we’d gotten to know how many kids Steggy had but 🤷‍♀️. Bucky was still Bucky. No, Steve didn’t kiss his niece if you listened to Bruce’s explanation but people are being stupidly stubborn on that bit. Steve has been my ride or die hero since his original movie in the MCU. I was terrified he was gonna die in sacrifice. I hate, HATE that it was Tony but I’m a little relieved at the same time, I won’t lie. I’d like to think Steve and Peggy were around for baby!tony. Maybe they were Aunt Peggy and Uncle Steve to him.

•Scott, Hope and Cassie mini family

•Clint happily reuniting with his family

•Ned and Peter reuniting

•SAM! BEING! PASSED! THE! CAPTAIN! AMERICA! MANTLE! I cannot wait for Bucky & Sam’s tv series.

•The film closing out with dancing Steve and Peggy happily in love.

What I did not like/hated:

•Loki surviving. I just hate him. Obviously he was going to given he is getting his own show too but Christ on a cracker

•Both Tony and Natasha’s deaths. I know why they happened but it still really really sucks to lose any of the team for any reason. Seeing the Tony stans super upset has been very hard even if we all knew it was gonna be Steve or Tony dying. It’s one thing to know it and then another to actually see it play out

•Clint’s family dissolving? 😭😭 Yes, we knew it was gonna happen but watching it suuuucked

•Not showing the Aunt May/Peter reunion. She had to live 5 years without him after all.

•Not getting to see Carol and Nick interact or reunite.

•Not getting to see Maria’s reaction to Natasha’s death (I know there was only so much time and these reunions are just splitting hairs but I would have liked to see them)

•Not enough Pepperony!Parents scenes. (Again, splitting hairs here, lol)

Over all:

A++++++++

I didn’t go into this movie with expectations in case it was a disappointment. Needless to say it was NOT a disappointment in the least. It was a beautifully done film. The cinematography was stunning. I laughed, cheered, was kept in suspense and definitely cried. Which is not easy to get me to do. I will miss Tony and Pepperony every day but I also cannot wait to see Wanda get Vision back in their series. However that happens nor the Bucky/Sam team up. I think I hit all the major points (I hope). I intend to go see the movie again next week. The Russo Brothers did a wonderful job honoring 11 years worth of movies and the fans who have been here since 2008. A lot is storylines were paid off and the like. Just amazing. Thank you for reading this long word vomit.

[herdustisverypretty]

AND ANOTHER TAG THING {warning: strong and possibly strange opinions, LONG ASS RAMBLES (which most definitely include strong and possibly strange opinions), frequent oversharing}

tagged by the lovely Angel <3

1. If you could go backward in time, what would you do first? #2008 Log- Don’t pretend to not be bothered by HC and co’s behaviour and actually call them out on their shit. Note to self: You don’t owe anyone anything. #2009-2014 Log- Start homeschooling earlier. Maybe actually tell people how you felt too? You might have gotten a diagnosis, and thus the treatment that has drastically improved your life, sooner and you’d probably have a lot less scars. Maybe none. And also might not be immune to the effect of regular painkillers. Also maybe then you’d be able to just get said painkillers from the cupboard where they used to be instead of having to ask your mother permission on whether you can have some- at age 22- and having to swallow them there to prove you’re not hoarding them for later (cause that’s right, you did that once, ya dumb little bastard). #2012-2013 Log aka You STILL don’t owe anyone anything- Also do not engage with HS AT ALL. Just nip that one right in the bud. Don’t even go there. PTSD ain’t fun. Also do not allow HC to worm their way back in later. PTSD still ain’t fun.  Though then you probably wouldn’t have written that one VIXX story and not only was writing that story enjoyable (sometimes???? ... maybe?????????), that story did also apparently help a lot of people too...so... maybe don’t fix yourself for the sake of those people who told you your writing helped them through a lot of their own shit. **Particularly never forget the one person who said they hadn’t cried themselves to sleep a night since finding your story. Taking that back from someone is not a nice idea.  LOTS OF SHIT THAT BASICALLY MEANS: stop trying to kill yourself, dumbass. people aren’t lying when they say things get better. well, somewhat. also don’t let people take advantage of and abuse you. or maybe do a bit. because your suffering has helped others and that’s all that really matters right? BUT JUST A BIT. definitely not all of it cause that was Shite. 

2. Conversely, if you could go forward in time, what would you want to see? Dumb men (I was going to say ‘straight, white, cis, American’ men but realised I’ve seen other types of men also being equally idiotic, SO I GUESS JUST MEN) being deleted from all youtube comments please. Also maybe shut down tumblr. I think we’d all benefit from that tbh. Also while I’m at it, can we have a game similar to Pokemon GO but instead of catching Pokemon you catch hot anime bishies. Get exercise and also get five thousand hot boyfriends :D Also retaining the nickname feature. Because that’ll be entertaining. 

3. What’s your favorite word and why? I’ve always been fond of kerfuffle. It just sounds so cute and happy. A kawaii way to say you fucked someone’s shit up. Petrichor is also a DAMN FINE word. It sounds satisfying and the meaning is EVEN MORE SATISFYING. 

4. Hot chocolate with milk or with water? Toppings? Marshmallows? It tastes better with milk, but as I at times have more than 3 a day (since I don’t drink coffee and need caffeine), if I plan to have more than 2 I will make them with water. I believe I have already stated my opinion on marshmallows as well lmao. 

5. If you could change one thing about your favorite fandom, what would it be? Tbh delete all appreciation for my absolute NOTP. And no, I don’t actually mean Akashi/Furihata like most other Akashi/Kuroko shippers; I occasionally state I don’t particularly care for that ship, but I tend to just ignore it and its existence for the most part. Whereas my actual ‘I FUCKING HATE THIS’ ship, NOPE I WANT THAT OBLITERATED> DELETE ITS EXISTENCE. WIPE IT CLEAN OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH. This can also be said to apply to one particular person in said ‘FUCK NO’ NOTP. I have frequently expressed my disdain for this character, I do not make it a secret, so it should be no leap to assume who, and which ship, I’m talking about here. 

6. You now have the ability to permanently alter one character from any fandom. Who do you pick, and what do you change? -Lmao. Okay. Well, I’ll name some names after all then, shall I?  -Can I just. Completely erase Momoi’s existence from KnB entirely? Jfc I cannot fucking stand her one bit. The only redeeming quality of her very 2D, bland, and at times downright offensive character, is her desire for the GoM to be friends again. And I could live without that somewhat nice sentiment if it meant the remaining 99.9% of her shittiness was gone. I will never like her. -I can occasionally stand her in fanfiction if she does’t have a major appearance, and also if she’s not being monumentally annoying. And even then I don’t feel any issues with killing her off due to dislike of her canon characterisation. I could literally care less what happens to her. Harsh, maybe, but I personally feel she brings nothing of value to this series, and tbh it would be far better, and certainly less cringey, without her.  -I have essentially been awake for 3 days so this is probably said with much less delicacy than I would normally use, though regardless of insomnia-induced aggression levels, the base feeling is the same. 

7. What is your philosophy on life? (Is it pointless, is it meaningful, is it what you make it, etc…) I honestly don’t care about things such as ‘the meaning of life’. We’re never going to know who put us here, if anything did, or what we’re meant to do, if there is anything, or why we are here at all. Just do whatever you want. Everyone’s going to die and the sun will turn into a black hole and swallow the earth and the universe will ultimately end in a rather unpleasant manner anyway. As long as you’re not harming anyone’s way of life, do what ever you want I could care less.  (that got kinda dark... I guess that’s what happens when people ask philosophical questions)

8. Would you consider getting a tattoo? If you would, what would it be and where would you put it? -Well the first tattoo I ever planned on getting (decided upon when I was 15), and the one I still want to be my first, is my recently passed dog’s pawprint tattooed on my left wrist; where I used to frequently self harm. The original idea was to get a tattoo of something meaningful there that would remind me every time I went to hurt myself that there’s still reasons for living. I stopped self harming around the same time my dog died in 2015, and even though I didn’t really need the reminder to not hurt myself in that way, I decided that getting his pawprint (which I was given a print of when he passed) would be especially nice, and would serve as a reminder of things I survived, and should I ever need a reminder in the future. My plan is now to get his paw on my left wrist (where the majority of damage was done, as he was my first pet), and when my cat also passes (hopefully not for a while still), I will get her pawprint on my right wrist.  -In less meaningful directions, I’ve also wanted the Grey Warden’s emblem tattooed on me for the longest time. I’m thinking thigh in terms of placement. idek what it is about them, or about the DA series in general. I mean, being a Grey Warden is arguably (is it tho) kind of a shitty thing?? You don’t really want to aspire to that if you enjoy, idk, LIFE? But their tagline of ‘In war, Victory; In Peace, Vigilance; In Death, Sacrifice’ IDK BUT IT JUST GOT ME.

9. What’s your favorite headcanon? (Could be your own or someone else’s) Shit, I have A LOT. *These are all mine as well! (mostly lol) -One that I’m still fond of is the hc that Kuroko becomes sleepy after eating a lot (particularly sugary things) which is one reason he eats quite lightly, and that the GoM during Teikou would always be attempting to overfeed him because they thought it was adorable when he curled up in their laps and went to sleep.  -Another I came up with is Akashi not being allowed to play videogames (and probably also not watch much TV) after his mother died. Thus, the GoM (and later Rakuzan regulars, YES YOU TOO MAYU WITH UR LOVE LIVE RHYTHM GAMES) would bring in their DSs and PSPs to school to let him play them as a much needed break from all the pressure being put on him.  -Ideas conceived with 6ubblegum earlier such as Masaomi actually having an unrequited interest in Kuroko’s dad when they were younger, and obviously him becoming quite upset when Kuroko’s dad married Kuroko’s mother. We also came up with the idea that Masaomi and Shiori’s marriage was arranged by their parents for mutual family benefits and that the pair never cared much for each other, and also that Shiori was aro (also I angstily suggested ‘imagine her crying under her veil as she walked down the aisle tho’). Then I also suggested the idea of what if Shiori and Kuroko’s mother were friends, going on playdates with their sons (and also the humorous idea of them putting baby Akashi+Kuroko in matching dresses). So in the end, Masaomi has never been much interested in his own son, and the only person who cared about Akashi truly was his mother, who is now gone. Also Masaomi becoming understandably VERY opposed when Akashi begins dating Kuroko in school.  -Anything involving mentally ill GoM + others (though a chunk of these aren’t even headcanons and more: I am 100% convinced these characters actually have these conditions). Especially fond of self-harmer Akashi.  -Also literally any hc where any particular character is either aro, ace, or both. I reeaaaally love ace Kise actually.  -AGENDER REO!!!!! -I’ll end it with a somewhat nsfw one. The shameless guilty pleasure with 6ubble of Kise and Kuroko being known as the sluts of the Teikou. They’ve definitely boned all the regulars (including NIji) at least once. Probably more. definitely more

10. Do humans have souls? Do animals? I’ve been awake far too long for these kinds of questions XD UHHH in my personal belief I’ve always maintained the idea that all living creatures (this includes humans, as humans are primates) have a sort of.. living energy?? My belief is that once a creature dies, of its lifeforce/energy/soul/the magic keeping it alive/whatever you fancy calling it, the personality part (which I would say comes from the brain and is made up of memories and of course the individual’s unique personality) goes to a plane with other deceased energies (suppose you could call this heaven of a sort - tbh I always pictured it as kinda like the pyreflies in FFX), while the rest of the energy (which I would say comes from the heart and is, I guess, the emotions the individual has experienced through life) is recycled and returned to the earth to be used again. SOOO a sort of somewhat logical theory that combines both afterlife and reincarnation. I also think that the recycled energies can recognise other energies they knew in previous lives. Not in a literal sense, but more like, they might feel an inexplicable connection, be it between two people, a pet and a human, etc etc. I kinda like the idea of this also explaining real life cases of supposed ‘soulmates’. Two energies meeting that once knew each other and were compatible in a previous life (sounds really YA romance I know). This could also be potentially used to explain some conditions or mental illnesses. Recycled energy that previously had lots of negative experiences may be renewed as someone who is also troubled (blame ur disorders on your energy ancestors lmao). This could explain troubled people who have no family history of any similar experiences. IT ALL SOUNDS VERY FANTASTICAL BUT YE. This has all come together after years of viewing and researching many different spiritual beliefs and recounts of spiritual or other ‘incredible’ events, in an attempt to kind of merge everything into something that could potentially be real and/or believable. Idk if scientifically this would make any sense, but I feel it’s logical enough to suit me anyways. 

11. What’s your favorite holiday and why? Well I have mentioned I’m pagan before, sooooo, my answer to this will probably be weird? XD LONG AND BORING BACKSTORY TIME: I didn’t really become self identified as pagan until the age of 13-14, and before that I grew up typically celebrating Christian holidays (Easter, Christmas) despite my immediate family not being religious at all. I always saw these holidays as more just time to be with family than anything else. So I do still celebrate Easter and Christmas as I’ve grown up with them in a culture that celebrates them whether you’re religious or not. I guess Christmas was always my favourite? It’s roughly a month after my birthday, far enough that I get double presents, but close enough that there’s still lots of ongoing excitement. And growing up it was typically the only time each side of my family would all be together (we’d alternate, one year at my mum’s parents, the next at my dad’s). But as I’ve gotten older, and grandparents have died and families have drifted apart, I’ve become less interested in both Easter and Christmas, seeing them now more as just times to buy stuff for people when you really can’t afford to, and tbh now I find myself more drawn to things such as Samhain (also ref that if you have seen spn, they butchered the pronunciation. it’s more akin to ‘sah-ween’ it’s an Irish word I think, which explains everything tbh) in particular. Before last year I had never sought out other pagans in my area and thus was a bit lax in my celebration of sabbats, so when I actually started meeting up with other people in my city early last year, it actually really changed things for me (so emotional sobsob). The Samhain I celebrated with this group earlier in the year (as I’m in the southern hemisphere, Samhain for me is in May) was actually a really really special thing that I did. It also happened to coincide around the 2 year anniversary of my dog’s death, and as Samhain (which has become modern Halloween to most) is a day for celebrating loved ones who have died, it was just a really nice experience to think about my dog, as well as my grandmother who died 3 months before him.  THAT WAS A LONG, BORING, AND MUSHY WAY OF SAYING THAT BASICALLY: ‘pagan Halloween’ (tho that term doesn’t even make sense lmao) is actually really lovely and memorable compared to almost every other ‘traditional’ holiday of my life. 

Geez you just happened to ask all The Big Questions. And you literally went from 100 to 0 to 100 and then probably to 1000. Or maybe that was just me. I AM VERY TIRED AFTER VOMITING ALL THAT OUT. also my finger joints hurt. 

WELL, if you got all through that, here are my own questions, which I totally Did Not steal from other question memes already in existence. I’m definitely not lazy. No I’m actually just very tired lol. These are all going to be fandomy/OTPy questions because WE REALLY NEED SOME LIGHT CONTENT AFTER ALL THAT. Plus everyone loves talking about their fandoms and shit. 

1. A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind? 2. What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom? What fandom was it? 3. Your favourite fandom {for the people, not the thing you spazz over}? 4. Are there any fandom popular ships that you don’t like or just don’t get? Alternatively, are there any typically overlooked minor ships that you think are really underappreciated?  (hay this one i made up myself lol) 5. What was the first thing you ever contributed to a fandom? 6. What’s a popular romantic/sexual ship that you can only ever see as a brotp? (also me!) 7. If you had the chance to make your OTP canon, and your NOTP very clearly stated as ‘definitely not canon eVER’, how would you express this in your ‘new canon’? (i’m on a roll) 8. Which character is Daddy Material? (there’s always at least one, admit it) 9. Character you relate to and why? (please share all tragic similarities) 10. As either a reader, writer, or both!, what’s your favourite fanfic genre and/or tropes? Are there any you always stay away from? 11. Opinions on omegaverse (in any and all forms, ranging from early spn fics, to the surprising amount of BTS/kpop fics, or have you tried the Japanese manga take on omegaverse - or even.... Life From the Ashes)? 

Tagging: @6ubble-gum AGAIN LOL cause these are new questions and I want to see your answers | @the-chibi-sempai | @justsimplyl | @humanitys-shortest-soldier | @kelandry5 | @seijuurouus | @sugaless-coffee bro r u still alive | @kagabutt bcuz we still need to talk moar |

[cosmosogler]

hi guys. not doin too hot. and by “not doin too hot” i mean “I AM TOO HOT OH GOD WHY”

don’t worry. when i realized i would not be able to fix the ac myself (at like 8:30 pm) i put in a maintenance request. so hopefully that will be fixed tomorrow or friday. again.

i feel bad putting in so many orders but like, 58 degrees is too cold and 80 degrees is too hot. please. i’m not THAT picky but it’s so much and i’m sweating all over my papers and i can’t tell if poor snoopy is uncomfortable or not. she spends a whole lotta time by where i have the fan on by an open window.

it doesn’t cool off my desk/bed area but at least my kitchen is a nice temperature.

when my alarm went off i realized that i just... did not sleep very much. i had bad dreams but i don’t remember enough about them to say why. i ended up skipping my first class to try to get SOME sleep but unfortunately i just laid there with my eyes closed feeling hot and miserable for 40 minutes. i was so pokey getting ready for school that i was actually late for my second class despite getting up with more time to get ready than usual.

i took notes on my ipad. it was nice. i like the line sensitivity. i picked up my pen from the mail room in the afternoon so now i can write more than four words per line too.

keegan and harrison and i got spaghetti lunch and then i went to my doctor’s appointment. the doctor took a look at my throat and lungs and stuff and said everything seemed fine but i could take some allergy medication that might help it clear up faster. so i did that. also my other problem with the birth control is ok if it happens once. if it happens three times in a row there’s gonna be a problem but otherwise between missing a day (even though i caught up) and all the stress and getting sick it could be anything.

the allergy medication also serves as a sleep aid and anti anxiety medication so she said if it works i could use it for the whole month or when i start sleeping normally again and if it doesn’t work to just stop usin it and don’t worry about it.

i helped ammar and rebika and luis get set up with the printer network in our building after a lot of hassle with my computer. luis and taylor were talking so loud that i couldn’t think at all and harrison was getting annoyed because i wasn’t using any of the convenient tools that computers have like search functions.

and i took my accommodation letters to both my professors and hashed out the test plan with them. my stat mech professor invited me to sit for a while and then... blocked the door with his chair. i don’t think he did it on purpose but I NOTICED. i got antsy immediately and i couldn’t seem to find a good opportunity in the conversation to leave.

i doubled my score on the prelims! now i have a 22/120 instead of, like, a 10. all i gotta do to pass is get up to ~60 though. but it was a DEFINITE improvement. i feel conflicted about it. on the one hand, i did double my score and that’s really impressive. on the other hand, the score is still total garbage and kind of embarrassing if it wasn’t already incredibly well established that i am really bad at taking tests no matter how well i know the material.

hopefully next time i won’t have the worst and longest cold ever.

i ended up spending like 2 hours hanging out with harrison and drawing on his blackboard. he said i draw really fast when i did a blue in about 30 seconds and i said “yes i’ve always drawn abnormally fast.” i did some base shape stuff with him and he showed me one of the symbols he’d been working on. 

jennica wandered in at one point to talk about the em homework and i was gonna die. “what is that?” she asked. “harrison is teaching me how to draw,” i said. i knew that she knew it was total bs because i was holding the chalk and had been drawing when she came in so i made a big deal out of saying over and over that i definitely wasn’t the one drawing. i think she understood it was a joke.

i biked home and picked up my mail and ran a quick errand (the corner store doesn’t carry the item i want any more so that’s a bummer. i’m gonna have to figure out what i want to do about that. the cashier said they might start ordering it again). i fiddled around with the ac trying to get one of the buttons to do the thing i want but it doesn’t seem interested in doing anything but blowing hot air into my apartment. i made some dinner while i did my dishes... i was out of plates. 

i should be drinking more tea but hot drinks just really don’t appeal to me right now.

then i sat down and started drawing. it took like an hour and a half to do three panels out of the seven on this one page. i had made my boards too crowded because i drew too big so i had to take pictures of my pages, load them up on my computer screen, and then erase my work and redraw each panel with everything a little bit smaller. it would have been fine except IT’S SO HOT AND IT’S SO HARD NOT TO SMUDGE MY LIGHTER LINES TO HELL.

snoopy was a little more active than usual today, at least when she was “hunting” for her cookies. i put them in slightly more out of the way places than usual and it looks like she got all of them in about ten minutes. i’m going to have to bump up the difficulty for her just a bit. though earlier i noticed that if i hide her cookies in places that require using her paws to get them out she won’t do it even if they are easily visible. 

maybe getting all those mats off her underside improved her mood. seeing just how much fur got shaved off her stomach, it was probably really hindering her movement.

a good thing todayyyyyy isssssss while i was waiting for the doctor i wrote a whole bunch of notes about nastasia. since my classmates’ em period starts 2 hours earlier this semester i got to the doctor’s office about 40 minutes before my appointment so i just settled into a chair and grabbed my phone and started typing. i’m working really hard to give these characters a common thread and i think it fits pretty well with the general theme of the story. i don’t know if i’m laying it on too thick or not though. it’s hard to write drafts for comics except for the individual scenes you’re currently setting up. i can’t go back and change the beginning because it’s done and uploaded. all i can do is adjust the current page.

so that’s a challenge!!!

it’s fun that having a group of characters with different manifestations of the same flaw creates such a disaster though. count bleck is such a dumpster fire. 

(i am also a dumpster fire and i write characters that are almost exclusively trash man level of emotional maturify)

GAAHHHHH IT’S GONNA BE 80 DEGREES TOMORROW??? THAT’S THE EARLY JANUARY WEATHER I WANT TO SEE!!!!!!

ok anyway it’s 10:45 now so i should probably start thinking about maybe getting ready for bed sometime. i’m so tired. but i really, really don’t want to sleep. i’m so tired of nightmares.

a good thing that i like about myself maybe is, uh, i’ve been working harder at following up with people lately. i was doing it before, but now i’m trying harder to make sure i ask people how a thing went if they bring it up earlier. like suzanne’s cousins are visiting today. i dunno. suzanne seemed impressed that i remembered, last time i did it with her. but now i don’t remember what it was i had asked her about!! i’m trying to find more ways to show people i care, i guess. as i get more and more sleep deprived though i am getting less good at remembering things to bring up in my conversations.

[satanakiramonism]

More tag games

I was tagged by @rreghoul! Thanks! <3

Rules: 1. Always post the rules 2. Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you 3. Write 11 questions of your own 4. Tag 11 people

1. what languages do you speak/ are learning/ want to learn?

I speak Catalan, Spanish, English, a bit of French and now I’m learning Japanese!

2. what’s your favorite genre of movie?

Psychological/thriller

3. coffee or tea? why?

Coffee (but decaf lol)! I don’t really like the flavor of tea...

4. worst cringe-worthy phase?

????? I don’t know any (?)

5. five favorite words: mine are sycophant, osculation, schadenfreude, sotto voce, and shambolic to name a few.

Wistfulness, ataraxia (spanish word meaning serenity), arrebol (spanish word that represents the color of the clouds during a sunset), serendipia (spanish word meaning finding something fortunate and without expecting it while searching for another thing), natsukashii (as the definition says, some small thing that  brings you suddenly, joyously back to fond memories, not with a wistful longing for what’s past, but with an appreciation of the good times), ment (catalan word meaning mind) (they’re 6 sorry haha).

6. a type of person you love?

I like people who aren’t afraid of showing who they are even if society doesn’t see them as ‘’right’’. I also like when they think a solution when there’s a problem, instead of blaming anything or anyone. I like people who fight for their dreams, not being afraid of leaving their comfort zone and that won’t stop until they make real what they want in life.

7. a type of person you hate?

Toxic people. The ones that contaminate you like a parasite, taking away all your will to live (in Spanish, they’re also called ‘’vampiros emocionales’’)

8. how tall are you?

5′3′’ 

9. three things you like about yourself?

- I have a peculiar world view

- I can take care of myself

- I’m good at talking to people that are older than me

10. if you could speak to anyone, living or dead, for an hour or two, who would it be?

Satoru Iwata, he was an incredible person who started from the bottom and became one of the people who ‘’reconstructed’’ a great video game company.

11.  if you had the chance to create your perfect significant other, what would they look/be like? ethnicity? personality? 100% perfect to you, what does that look like? (the most important one, im gathering data)

I’m aro ace so I can’t have a significant other hahhaha but, platonically, someone who understood me and maybe, had the same problems as me, so we could help each other.

@jii-chan Questions

1. What are your top 5 books?

OUT, by Natsuo Kirino

Kiri no Hata, by Seicho Matsumoto

Stories, by Edgar Allan Poe

All the Tokyo Ghoul Novels :)

(I’ll add ‘’No longer human’’ by Osamu Dazai, but even if I have the feeling that it’ll be my favourite book ever I still haven’t read it ^_^;)

(I used to have a lot of favourite book series like the Hunger Games, Divergent, Maze Runner etc. but now I that I definitely left teen literature I no longer have that many! I’m starting with Japanese literature so I think that soon all my faves will be from that group...)

2. What’s the last album you listened to?

Monosugoi, by THE OHAYOGOZAIMAS

3. What are two instruments you’d like to learn?

I’d love to learn to play the piano and the electric guitar! (well, I started learning the second since my father plays it, but due to time issues I had to stop :( )

4. What was your favorite vacation?

The two times I went to Ireland with my parents! Too bad that I was little so I don’t remember them that much... I also enjoyed a lot the two days I spent in London.

5. If you had to be any household appliance, what would you choose to be?

A fly swatter so I could kill ALL the annoying mosquitoes that don’t let me sleep at night >:))).

6. Do you like cooking?

Yes, but alone. I don’t like when there’s people around the kitchen.

7. What’s your favorite fast food joint?

Pans&Company.

8. What are your top 5 video games?

- Pokemon Pearl: it was my first Pokemon video game ever and it brings me a lot of good memories!

- The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

- osu! taiko

- Animal Crossing New Leaf

- Final Fantasy XIII: Lightning returns

9. What Pokémon gen is your fav?

The 4th! My first one! But I also love the 3rd so much.

10. If you could play any team sport, what would it be?

I hate team sports! (I really really really suck at them)

11. What’s your fav ice cream flavor?

I don’t like ice cream, but I can tolerate chocolate flavor.

@rreghoul ‘s questions

1) Do you have any pets?

Yes! Two cats!

2) Whats your favourite colour?

All the ones between blue and green. Also black and grey.

3) Have you ever played dungeons and dragons?

Yassss I even have a group of friends to play! I’m the dungeon master.

4) Summer or winter?

Summer, because I can contemplate the sunset (in winter I’m doing homework at that time aghh)

5) If you could visit any country for a 2 week holiday where would you go?

China! (I’d say Japan, but when I’ll go there, I won’t leave!)

6) Do you wear glasses?

Yes, since I was 9.

7) Are you in education?

Yes, I’m in high school, about to start 3rd grade of ESO in September.

8) Do you have any tattoos? or do you want any?

No.

9) Who is your favourite fictional character?

Akira Mado and Amon Koutarou!!!! GAWD I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!!!!!! But Eto Yoshimura follows them very closely.

10) If you had to pick one show to watch again for the first time ever, what show would you pick?

Corpse Party, it was so ‘’funny’’ and entertaining even if it was just 4 episodes long.

11) On a similar note if you could pick a show to completely erase from your memory to never be seen again, what show would you pick?

The last 3 seasons of Gilmore Girls, they were so bad written and deceived me.

My questions!

1. Which social media do you use the most?

2. How did you discover your favourite song?

3. Do you like reading the newspaper?

4. Favourite moment of the day?

5. Do you know any poem or book/manga/comic in general chapter by heart?

6. Board games or card games?

7. Favourite place to be?

8. New or old building cities?

9. Posters or wallscrolls?

10. Favourite childhood film?

11. Do you like buying second hand stuff?

I’m going to tag @i---am---lost  @aiyato @amon15  @just-a-simple-otaku @clymacs @saikosaikosaiko @carloskz @amonmahboi @justsumfangurlmind @kathy0113 @pinklizadon 

Also remember that this is just for fun! If you don’t want to answer it, no problem ～

[survey1000]

76. Your life isn’t yours if you constantly care about what others think.

What’s the latest you’ve woken up? How about the earliest? The latest I think was almost noon, and the earliest was a bit after midnight I think.

In general, what has the weather been like? Is this good or bad for you? It’s been pretty muggy lately, which sucks because I work in a coffee shop that doesn’t have a working AC ...

Have you been out for a meal? Where did you go and what did you eat? Not for a bit, but I think the last time was Subway.

Have you been under the influence of alcohol/drugs? Yup.

Have you spent more of your time indoors or outdoors? Indoors.

What’s the most interesting day you’ve had? How about the most boring? Good question, I think the most interesting was my high school graduation, and the most boring would have to be any slow day at work.

What’s the earliest you’ve gone to bed? How about the latest? The earliest I would say was around 7pm and the latest was a bit after 2am.

Have you gone shopping for anything aside from groceries in the past week? Yeah, Thursday I went to the mall and got a few different makeup things, and then I went to Staples to buy more instax film.

Have you discovered any new bands or TV shows that you like? No not lately.

Have you finished a book, or are you currently reading one? I just finished one a few days ago, and I have quite a few on the go still lol.

What’s the most interesting thing that’s happened to you? Not many things really.

Who have you spoken to most on the phone/online/by text? My mom I would think lol.

Do you actually think it’s gross to talk about body functions? If you’re not my friend lol.

Would you rather sleep alone or next to your SO? Well I can really only say alone lol.

Are you trying to forget about something? Always.

Have you ever sent a love letter? Nope.

When you look up at the sky do you ever NOT see a plane or vapor trail? Rarely lol.

Have you dated someone of another race? No, but to be fair I’ve only been in one relationship before.

Do you wear any shoes with holes because you can’t give them up? Not at the moment, but I have done this plenty of times before lol.

When you go out to breakfast, what do you order? Depends on where I go, but something with eggs.

Have you ever had a job that required a uniform? Yeah, that’s where I work now lol.

What are you most envious of? People who can find happiness wherever they go.

Would you rather have coffee, cocoa, tea, or soda? Pop, and I’m not much of a pop drinker either lol.

When you walk into your best friend’s room, what do you smell? Idk, them I guess? Lol.

Have you ever purposely broken something that belonged to a sibling? I don’t think so, but I wouldn’t put it past me though lol.

Do you have any hipster friends? Nope.

Have you ever worked at the same place as your best friend? No.

Do you take days off from shaving when you can get away with it? Always lol.

Has anyone ever baked you cookies? Yeah.

Do you ever wear socks with holes in them? I have, but I throw them out as soon as I realize the hole.

Is there anything hanging on your bathroom walls? I don’t think so.

If your SO agreed, would you want an open relationship? Oh fuck no.

Have you ever slept with three people in the same bed? When? Why? Yes, it was at a sleepover when I was younger, when we could all fit on the same bed haha.

Does your family regularly eat sit down meals together? No, the only time is when we plan a supper for an event, like Christmas, Easter, a birthday, etc.

Have you ever used the change counting machine at a store or mall? I have no idea what that is lol.

How do you dress when you’re not at work Usually in a t-shirt or a tank top, with leggings.

Tell me about the shirt you’re wearing? Its black with the Superman logo on it, and its from the men’s section from Warehouse One lol.

What was the first thing you thought this morning? Fuck... I don’t wanna go to work lol.

Are you wearing shorts? Nope.

Ever had a boy best friend? Yeah when I was little.

Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? If I’m in a relationship with him, then yes.

Do your parents actually knock on your door before entering your room? No lol.

Do you ‘dress to impress’? Sometimes, depending on where I’m going.

Have you ever thought a man over 40 was attractive? Yeah.

Would you rather get cash or a gift card? Depending on what store the gift card is from, if its from the bookstore, then I’d rather have the gift card lol.

Would you prefer to date someone taller, shorter, or the same height as you? Same height or taller.

Can you honestly say you’re okay right now? No.

What time did you get up today? A little bit before 5:30am.

Where does most of your family live? Nova Scotia, Canada.

What can’t you wait for? Tomorrow at 2pm, so I can go to the gym, and not have to worry about work the next day.

Are you ticklish? Some places.

What brand of digital camera do you own? I don’t have one. The only actual camera I have is the Instax mini 9.

Have you ever seen a Broadway show in New York? Nope.

How long is your hair? Maybe an inch and a half past my shoulders.

Do you like facial hair on a guy? If it’s not long, I like scruff better than an actual beard lol.

Have you ever tried the cinnamon challenge? Nope, and never plan to lol.

How long would it take to walk to the nearest McDonald’s? Less than 20 minutes.

Do you get drunk every weekend? No, I wouldn’t be able to afford that lol.

What did you do today? I worked for eight hours, and planned to go to the gym after until I realized I had left my gym sneakers and pants at home ...

Are you listening to music right now? No surprisingly, I have the TV on in the background.

Your last ex died today, how would you feel? I mean I’m not heartless, I would feel upset, but we were only going out for less than a week, and it was five years ago so I’m definitely not close to him.

Do you like maxi dresses? Yeah, I have one but that’s the only one I’ve seen that I like on me.

Have any organic makeup? I don’t think I do.

Do you worry about guys thinking you’re hot? No, I know that they don’t think that way lol.

Are you healthy? Not as healthy as I should be lol.

Do you know anyone that used to be or is homeless? Not that I know of.

Does it always seem like you’re always buying stuff for friends? Not really.

Did you wear sunglasses today? No, its been cloudy all day.

What’s the next movie you’ll watch in theaters? Not sure.

If you straighten your hair, how long does it take? Anywhere between 15 to 25 minutes.

Does it annoy you when people can’t think of their own answers to questions on surveys and use yours? No lol, I don’t pay attention really.

How many people are you talking to online right now? None lol.

Are you currently wearing anything containing polyester? Probably.

Have you ever been to Comic-Con? No, but I would like to.

Do you have a commercial jingle stuck in your head? Nope.

Would you date someone 8 years older than you? He would have to treat me right, and we would both have to care about each other a lot. The oldest that I plan to go for is five years, but you never know.

Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to? Not really. I have guys that I consider friends, but not that close to talk about personal things.

Do you have a friend of the same sex you can talk to? Yeah.

Did you go out or stay in last night? Stayed in.

What does your last received text message say? ‘I’m here at Tim’s now’.

How old is the last person you texted? 37, she’s my Momma lol.

What do you want to get accomplished today/tonight? To get some good sleep.

You’re single, right? Yup lol.

Are you easy to make mad? If I’m in a cranky mood already, yes lol.

Have you ever punched a hole in the wall? Yeah like roughly seven years ago lol.

What are you doing right now? This and watching Forensic Files.

Do you smoke weed everyday? I had only smoked it twice and that was almost six years ago I think.

Are you wearing jeans, shorts, sweatpants, or pajamas? Leggings.

Do you like the dentist? Not really lol.

Do you like the snow? Yeah, as long as its not too much lol.

Where is your phone Beside me.

Would you rather date someone older than you or younger? Same age or older.

When was the last time you were told you were cute? I don’t really remember, maybe a few weeks ago?

Would you ever smile at a stranger? I do it all the time at work. The privileges of working in a coffee shop lol.

Do you button your shirt from the top or the bottom? Top.

Do you make collages often? No, its been a few years since I’ve made one.

How much have you changed in the last year or so? Not that much I don’t think.

Have you ever wished to erase something from your memory? What? A lot of things that I rather not speak of.

Do you keep things that most people would throw away? I don’t think so.

What is your favourite thing to wear when you feel like crap? Comfy clothes.

Do you look forward to going to sleep at night? Usually.

What was the last song you listened to? Nowhere Fast - Eminem.

Do you own an Etch-A-Sketch? I did when I was a kid!

What does your bedspread look like? Leopard print.

What colour is your suitcase? I don’t own one.

Are you any good at tongue twisters? Not really lo.

Do you wrap up warm in the cold weather? Always.

Do you care overly about other people? If I like them lol.

Do you still live with your parents? When are you planning to move out? Yeah, and I’m 20 and single so I can’t really afford to live on my own, and I at least want to be able to drive legally and have a car before I move out.

If you’ve moved out already, what age were you? -

Have you ever been told your aspirations are unrealistic? I don’t think so.