#iruka umino headcanons

[kakashixhatakesxwhore]

Random NSFW headcanon please? (If you do nsfw...)

alrighty roo, buckaroo, lets discuss kinkage - thank you so much for the request

Random Kinks They Deffo Have

They: Iruka, Kakashi, and Itachi (with additions of Sasuke and Shikamaru) (f!Reader)

Warnings: whew! Swearing, explicit smut, power play, somno/free use, auralism, names of authority, praise kink, spit/blood/cum play, idk just please be 18

Notes: This one is for the freaks, obvi Boruto!Sasuke and Boruto!Shikamaru, I'm begging for everyone's thoughts and opinions - be prepared for Shikamaru's to be nasty

Masterlist💿

Iruka

Power Play

He just fucking loves when you take control

Anything you tell him to do, Iruka will do compulsively, and he's absolutely twitching when you tell him how good he is for doing so

All! About! Your! Pleasure!

Iruka's favourite encounters would be when he's not allowed to touch you, though, funnily enough

You're riding him, and all he can do is watch your sultry smile and feel your pussy hugging him tight - he wants to feel you, to run his hands all over your body - but he can't - or else you'll slow down to a halt and sometimes even pull him out, just to give him a beration of sorts

Now, that said, Iruka does not fuck with demeaning talk - you better love on this motherfucker, he's trying his goddamn best for you, and if you should negate that, it would allow a dark cloud to form over Iruka's mind

You don't want that, right? Exactly. So you keep it sweet, you give him stupid, little commands then fan the flames of his ego when he completes the command in spades

Lowk gets boyfriend-brain when he's with you, so kinda does need to be told what to do

Iruka is a sweetheart!!! He's always going what he can for you, all the time, even if you don't explicitly ask him to every time

Kakashi

Free Use/Somnophilia

When you said you would be okay with giving it a trial run, Kakashi was elated, and fucked you four seperate times that night, and began again before you woke up in the morning

He fucks you slow, almost trying not to wake you up, but the stretch is unmistakable

"Good morning, pretty lady. Have any good dreams?" He would ask, noticing your quickened breath, making you instantly relax into the situation

You love it - you stop sleeping in any amount of pant, just so Kakashi could have you as he pleased

When you got home, he would be pressing you against the door, when you try to start chopping vegetables for dinner, he would bend you over then pop you up on the counter when he just couldn't get enough

Kakashi's condition is that everything spontaneous happens within your shared, lovely, little home

He might sneak you away occasionally while the two of you are out, finding a small cache in the forest, but Kakashi would be asking for permission, assurance, consent at every step of the way - public is just different, but he's not entirely opposed

Kakashi just can't believe he's got you, and every time he looks at you, he needs to have you

Itachi

Auralism

He needs to hear you; the way your voice quakes, the way your nails rake across the skin of his back

Itachi's favourite sound though, is the harmony of your bodies meeting, skin smacking skin, squelches and a slick plunging sound, filling the room

Yeiff - let alone fucking outside - my god - Itachi wants your encounter to be so loud that the whole world knows what's going on

With his shit eyeslight, Itachi would prefer to close his eyes while fucking you, letting your beautifully wanton sounds paint a picture in his mind

In a perfect world, he would totally love to get tied up with a blindfold on - just to be at the mercy of your light touch and the intoxicating sound of your pleasure - Itachi would break the binding eventually, desperate to have his hands on you, needing to fuck you hard enough to hear the smacking and sloshing

Itachi is also the primo dirty talker, insisting you reply to him through your stinted pants, sharp gasps and breathy moans

His whole arousal around the subject of sound is cranked up to ten the second the two of you are in public - your little yips when he squeezes your ass, or the biting 'Itachi' that slips out of your mouth when he corners you to cop a feel

Oh, he fucks with names, you can call him whatever the fuck you want, so long as he's the one you're screaming about - but he likes it when you speak to him with more authoritarian honorifics (sir, daddy, lord)

Sasuke

Praise

Ooh, tell him he's hitting the spot and Sasuke would lose it, only trying to hit the exact same spot again

If you're ever out, singing his tune to another party, about anything, and Sasuke catches wind, he's taking you home immediately to prove he can provide more than you bargained for

Y'all, lets be real, and acknowledge that sweet Sasuke craves praise in any and all capacities, but most fervently in the four walls of your bedroom

Again and again, it doesn't matter how many times you tell him, he wants to hear it again

"Sasuke, your cock is so fucking big," you gasped as he slid in slowly.

"Louder. Tell the neighbours."

Loves, loves, loves to be able to hear the affect he's having on your body, every wave of pleasure, every jolt from your orgasm

Even if it's visibly clear that he's got you like putty in his palm, Sasuke will demand that you tell him how good he is, how deep he can reach, how much your pussy loved him

You're a blabbering mess, and it strokes Sasuke's ego to no end that he can bring you to this point, absolutely drunk with pleasure

Shikamaru

Spit/Blood/Cum Play

Anything Shikamaru can ingest that comes from your body (not excretions, sickos), he will

It's insane when you two hit the trifecta - Shikamaru cumming all over a patch of knicks on your stomach then spitting on the pile of liquid, he would mix it all together with his index finger, on top of you, before he would lean down and lick it all up, shoving the finger covered in the rose-tinted mixture into your mouth

Mm mm mm, and your cum, my good Christ, does he ever love your cum

Nothing brings Shikamaru so much joy as pulling his fingers out of you, being coated in a shiny slick

There's also something about the way your face screws up every time he brings a kunai into the bedroom - Shikamaru goes weak in the knees when he sees your crimson blood, glinting on the tip of the knife, losing it even further when you lick it off without hestitation

He's going to cum on your face, just to see you try to open those pretty eyelashes of yours, beads of white weighing them down

Shikamaru had no clue he was into fluids, until you randomly asked him, one day, to spit in your mouth - it's been a done deal since then, spitting just comes with the territory eventually

He always loved seeing your body get painted with his cum, but it's a whole different ball game to watch you play with it, to watch you lick it all up without wasting a drop like you used to do (honestly, Shikamaru can't even remember why he used to wipe his cum off of you)

[mishellii]

♢ᴘᴇᴛ ɴᴀᴍᴇꜱ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ♢

naruto, sasuke, shikamaru, kiba, shino, neji, iruka & kakashi

a/n: sooo,, i SHOUld be working on my uni essays and on the bf!neji texts BUT this had been sitting in my notes app for a while so i decided to post it ;D (the neji texts will come soon i promise). some are longer, some are shorter for which i apologise,,,,,, please ignore typos, i can't spell & enjoy MWUAH

likes & reblogs appreciated <3

warnings: some NSFW parts! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! :) also not proofread as usual

masterlist

♢ɴᴀʀᴜᴛᴏ ᴜᴢᴜᴍᴀᴋɪ♢

✿oh my baby boy

❀first off: angel. 100%.

✿because u are his angel u feel me

❀he can't go a day without telling u

✿then also just the basic baby

❀but mostly when he wants something from u or he's apologising for dumb stuff he's done

✿puppy eyes and all

❀and also during sexy time

✿it's his most used name for u there

✿fight me on this

❀big on his own self made nicknames for u

✿for instance: u fell down the stairs once?

❀"hey, stairs, how you doin'"

✿and just silly ones like: boo, pookie, apple of my eye

❀he's weird like that c'mon we been knew

♢ꜱᴀꜱᴜᴋᴇ ᴜᴄʜɪʜᴀ♢

✿now this guy is a wild card

❀he'd prefer ur name through & through

✿but he'd slip in a casual babe sometimes which makes ur knees weak obviously

❀because he barely ever calls u that

✿if ur married he'd only call you his wife

❀doesn't even let you answer questions on your own sometimes just so he can hit them with

❀"well, MY WIFE, thinks you suck ass, so.."

✿during sex he can be quiet mean 

❀I DONT THINK in the derogatory way but more in a teasing way

✿"c'mon, sweetheart, look at me."

❀when ur just about to black out??

✿but like i said 

❀not big on pet names but he'll use them more often if he knows u enjoy it <3

♢ꜱʜɪᴋᴀᴍᴀʀᴜ ɴᴀʀᴀ♢

✿pretty

❀just pretty bro.

✿not ALL THE TIME, especially not in public as i don't think he's big on PDA

❀but in the comfort of ur own 4 walls? definitely

✿now don't HATE ME for this but,,,

❀woman. and brat.

✿but only in petty situations, like when ur scolding his lazy ass and he hits u with a "go easy on me, woman, i just woke up."

❀or u've been going on his nerves while he's working

✿,,i'm busy, brat.''

❀in bed tho???

✿love or doll

❀i'm almost CERTAIN.

✿like,, can u imagine?? in his dumb fucking charming voice ???

❀PFFF i'm on my knees 

♢ᴋɪʙᴀ ɪɴᴜᴢᴜᴋᴀ♢

✿now this fucker

❀teasing names through & through

✿ur shorter than him? 

❀"hey, shortie, need help?"

✿ur taller than him?

❀"hey, giant, how's the weather up there?"

✿he's a DICK ok (affectionately ofc)

❀but he can be sweet too i promise

✿he's having fun with calling u bunny during sex or simply baby 

❀also ???? "okay, boss." when he's been annoying u all day and u finally snap at him?

✿he's a menace with nicknames i'm telling u

♢ꜱʜɪɴᴏ ᴀʙᴜʀᴀᴍᴇ♢

✿you probably guessed it and bully me if you'd like but,,,

❀bug or lovebug

✿come oooon he loves his bugs AND he loves you?? it fits PERFECTLY

❀not one to do it infront of other people either but in your private space he just wouldn't stop calling you one of these

✿i also see him using the regular honey but the abbreviation so hun because it's short and sweet and he doesn't like those long ass names

❀apologies if ur name is long LMAO mine is too tho

✿takes the hun into the bedroom but prefers a gentle love while having sex

❀shino's not a sweet talker in my mind, but the pet names make up for it FOSHOU

✿ALSO big brain idea i just had:

❀i think shino can't fully express his emotions verbally so before going on missions he definitely writes u letters and that's where he's blooming

✿''u keep me going everyday, sunshine.''

❀and it doesn't even matter if you have a bubbly personality or not

✿UGH lovesick fr

♢ɴᴇᴊɪ ʜʏᴜɢᴀ♢

❀this pretty princess doesn't even know ur name when ur alone with him 

✿ESPECIALLY when ur texting

❀sweetheart, love & darling

✿he'd make u fall in love over again whenever he calls u one of those i'm just saying

❀because he's always so sincere when he's talking to u it drives me crazy just thinking about it 

✿during sexy time too, he would NEVER

❀& i will die on this hill 

✿NEVER use any degrading names for u

❀ur his baby don't make him do that

✿even when ur fighting, he'd always address u in such a kind way i'm actually going insane

❀"have you had dinner yet, dear?"

✿ sedate me pls

♢ɪʀᴜᴋᴀ ᴜᴍɪɴᴏ♢

✿AAA this guy

❀soo,, like father like son,,, angel

✿u can't change my mind

❀being the kind hearted person he is, it just fits u can't tell me off

✿but i will also say he'd use some funny ones in private because we all know he's just a silly lil guy deep inside

❀i'm thinking toots & peach

✿especially when greeting u !! like ''ey, toots, how's it going?''

❀during sex he will be quiet awkward at the start of ur relationship, settling in angel as he's most familiar with it at first

✿but after some time he'd pull a babydoll or gorgeous on u

❀i mean,,, i'd cry but idk about y'all

✿oVERALL he loves using pet names and wouldn't be opossed to u calling him some sweet ones as well <3

❀call him handsome and he'll go through the roof

♢ᴋᴀᴋᴀꜱʜɪ ʜᴀᴛᴀᴋᴇ♢

✿AHEM

❀so this man,,

✿at the start of ur relationship he's such a shy lil bean so he'll only use your first name

❀but once he's been with you long enough he gets so so comfortable

✿starts of with the regular baby because u are his baby aight.

❀his most frequently used one too i'd say

✿but then he'd go like 

❀"hey, beautiful." "y'alright, sweetheart?"

✿and idk about u but i'd faint

❀HE KNOWS ABOUT HIS AFFECT ON U TOO

✿uses it against u during sex SO OFTEN

❀grunting a "there y'go, darling." into your ear with a sly smirk on his lips 

✿i'm (s)creaming

❀but he's a very private person so don't expect too much of that in public !!

✿a side from a "yes, ma'am" when u tell him not to die on a mission <3

a/n: i hope this doesn't SUCK ahemm,,, and i'll see you beans next time bye bye x

devider by @enchanthings

[bainutwater85]

NARUTO EDITION.

gives the sloppiest&laziest head but does it right and has your toes curling.

SHIKAMARU. KAKASHI, SHINO, ASUMA,

a very slippery and fast tongue, also has you cumming in a matter of minutes

NARUTO. KIBA. SUIGETSU, OBITO, orochimaru

gentle pussy eater.

KAKASHI, asuma, NEJI, LEE, choji, GAARA, orochimaru, TOBIRAMA, SAI

professional

kankuro, KAKASHI, SHIKAMARU. madara, HASHIRAMA, sasuke, IRUKA, hidan, NAGATO

finger + tongue duo

gaara, SUIGETSU, tobirama, YAMATO. ITACHI, SASUKE, SAI, pain

[comicallylargemango]

How Kakashi, Genma, and iruka would react to reader staring at them while they're talkin

Summary: 's in the title, but anyway.

How they would react to reader staring at em with intently, like all the love in the world intently

Warnings: some suggestive stuff, mostly harmless though cus all fluff.

Kakashi hatake

Halfway through his sentence he just sees reader staring at him with their hands propping up their head

Immediately shuts up and reader asks if sumn is wrong and when he continues talking he's stuttering n messing up all his words

Legit gets red as a tomato, not even his mask could hide it 😭

No one has ever looked at him with so much interest, compassion, and love in their eyes so he literally has a seizure I swear

If y'all were dating and you stared at him like that it's either straight to the bedroom or he's going to be a blushing, flustered mess (depends on where yall r like in public he's gonna be a red mess but inside his apartment YOU're going to be a mess if ykwim)

You would tease him endlessly for his reaction

If y'all weren't dating though that's when he catches feelings like who wouldn't 🤷

He looks so stoic n serious all the time but with just a smidge of PDA he's gonna malfunction

Genma shiranui

He's too distracted with talking he doesn't notice it at first so you just kinda keep staring n humming as a response

When he DOES notice tho he's reduced to a stuttering mess (kinda like Kakashi) but he tries to remain confident n keep his cool, happy go lucky facade but he fails miserably as sighs in defeat.

Unlike Kakashi you can fully see the red, flustered mess your gaze has reduced him to.

Probably slams the table with the other hand covering his lower half of his pretty boy face n makes the excuse that he needs to go to the bathroom. Startling you and other people (if y'all are in public)

Low-key makes you think you did something wrong and immediately apologises to him when he gets back

He dismisses it though and says you did nun wrong but you still get worried nonetheless

When he notices his senbon probably falls outta his mouth cus he probably noticed it mid sentence with his mouth open n yeah

When y'all r dating he definitely teases you about how you're lookin at him, but his heart and mind are going bonkers rn

In public he tries his best to keep the 'kewl bad boy' facade but fails

In PRIVATE though, in private. Make out session. Nothing else no other words just, make out session. (With consent of course)

He thinks it's cute and adorable and he has ABSOLUTELY NO PROBLEM telling the entire world. Will cup your cheeks and smother you with compliments like "you're so cute I could just eat you up" (or out if you want idk)

Iruka umino

Honestly Kakashi and Genma combined

Tried [keyword; TRIED] to seem cool about it but is definitely going to fail.

Would switch to a completely different and silly topic to see if your reaction changes but it doesn't, it only makes him more flustered that you don't even care about how silly the topic is you just care about him

If he's eating he'll definitely choke on his food from how lovingly you're staring

(prolly gets turned on)

If y'all are dating n sitting/standing next to him while you're staring would probably look away and fake cough tryna hide his face from you

Iruka is definitely a closet perv and you cannot convince me otherwise (not the peeking into women's stalls closet perv) only a perv fo you

At home you're not going to escape his hungry grasp ifyk

In public though he's prolly a blushing mess

Mans is just adorable idk what to tell you 🤷

[virtualcarrot]

Summer heat tolerance ranking in the polycule of weirdos:

S+++- Gai. Gai, the freaking weirdo, is reinvigorated by it. He's striving. His skin's glowing--though that might just be the sweat and sunscreen, when he remembers to wear it. Everybody's melting into the ground and he's doing push ups around Konoha. He's like a solar furnace, concentrating heat. In the worst of summer, people step widely around him in the streets because he's RADIATING. The only person who'll even tolerate him in bed is Iruka, and that's at a distance.

A-Iruka, the normie. He has a reasonable, normal summer-loving person tolerance to it. He's extremely casual about it, like, "yeah, it's hot, so what? you take the necessary precautions and it's fine, just use common sense, hydrate, go for a swim, idk". His red flag is that he doesn't wear sunscreen, which drives Kakashi up the proverbial wall and even Gai side-eyes.

B-Yamato doesn't like the heat, and he's also bad at hiding it. A summer Yamato is one that can be seen slumping with his face drawn, eyes bleary, dragging his feet from place to place. The happuri falls lower over his eyebrows. His hair's droopy. He hates existing. Nobody touch him, unless it's to lay a cold pack across his brows and the back of his neck, which Iruka will sometimes do with a mix of amusement and exasperation. Gai would, but that'd require introducing his absurd body heat to Yamato's personal bubble. Kakashi just drops the pack on Yamato's chest with an air of gentle mockery.

C-Kakashi's stoic. A bit flushed, yeah, not that he has much skin on display to show for it, and the hair at his temple's a bit sweaty, and he doesn't talk as much, but he's doing fine, can't you see he's doing fine? His only concession to the heat are short sleeves and shorter trousers. Anyway, Kakashi's weak to the heat and just walking the tightrope of heatstroke at all times and Iruka wants to murder him for it. Yamato feels vaguely vindicated (he's too overheated for stronger emotions).

[teatitty]

A very neat fact about the hunter-nin of Mist: they have a special barrier ninjutsu that can protect specific body parts [such as an eye or a hand] and this jutsu is so important and secretive that not even the Mizukage knows how it works or how to get rid of it. The only ones who know the process are fellow hunter-nin

Given my overall headcanons for Kohari, I fully believe she taught this barrier to Iruka, swearing him to utmost secrecy as she did. Not even Ikkaku knew they could use it. This barrier is how he managed to take a fuma straight to the spine and not end up fucking paralysed - he passes it off as just being lucky, which nobody questions because luck is the name of the game as a shinobi, but really he used the barrier to protect his spine, causing the fuma to slide off and lodge itself to the side of the column instead

Still a terrifying back wound that could've had dire consequences and causes him chronic pain and limits what stretches and movements he can do, but no longer as bad as it would've been had he not made the split second activation

[wing-ed-thing]

Childhood Friends to Lovers Relationship Headcanons

Tags/Warnings: No Reader Pronouns Not into romance? Here's some platonic childhood friends with Iruka hcs!

𓆃 It's a very natural progression, especially if you're in the same age group as Iruka and remain moderately involved with the village growing up.

𓆃 Iruka is friendly enough to be able to bond with just about anyone, and given you're in similar circumstances after the Nine-Tails attack on the village, you're bound to be drawn to one another.

𓆃 Especially if you're left with few loved ones, being around others who share your circumstances makes your situation feel less lonely. At least, that was the idea when the Third Hokage implemented the youth programs for those who lost family stability.

𓆃 It was an awkward series of after-academy and weekend activities thrown together by a bunch of volunteer shinobi who didn't know much about kids, but you and Iruka wouldn't know better until you were older.

𓆃 These programs were also open to children whose parents were now working around the clock to assist the village, so even if your circumstances didn't resemble Iruka's, you could naturally find yourself in similar spaces.

𓆃 You probably couldn't even recall the exact moment you and Iruka became friends at all. You just always remembered him there and could hardly think of a time where Iruka wasn't in your life.

𓆃 (Iruka remembers. He's told you once before. Something about helping him out when he was new to the program and grieving, but you don't actually remember any of that.)

𓆃 He's always the first person you invite to your group outings with friends and he always makes time for you. He actually always makes time for anything you invite him to, whether you explicitly ask him or hint that you'd like him there.

𓆃 For a lifetime, he's been at every graduation, performance, and new life event you could ever ask someone to be at.

𓆃 Iruka was also always at your place, and if he wasn't at yours, you were at his.

𓆃 Any family you have surely already considers him one of them, your more sentimental— or otherwise slightly ditsy— family forgetting that Iruka isn't another blood family member.

𓆃 As you get older, your friends or extended family will constantly assume that Iruka's your partner. From your teenage years on, everyone will assume that you're a couple whether you are or not.

𓆃 And, well, you practically are a couple. You see each other every chance you get; you talk to each other every chance you get; you work in complete and utter tandem, that even people who don't know you very well assume that you're a couple.

𓆃 With his proximity to the people closest to you, it's an appropriate assumption and when you do finally get together, no one's surprised.

𓆃 Hell, even if you decide that marriage is for you, no one would be surprised about that either.

𓆃 "I thought you were already married," practically every shinobi in the village will most certainly say upon your announcement.

𓆃 Children will be a large part of your life whether they're yours or not, strictly because of Iruka's status as a teacher. His students mean the world to them, and by extension, it's probably for the best if you get as least a little involved.

𓆃 Your dynamic will work best if you show a level of dedication on par with his, whether you're another teacher, a sensei, or even simply drop by with treats every so often.

𓆃 The students think that ANBU warriors are fascinating and giving demonstrations of your superior kunai skills never fail to impress.

𓆃 "You'll only be able to do that if you do all your homework on time!"

𓆃 Your relationship is village-centric. Perhaps you won't be setting off on any crazy joint-mission anytime soon, but you will have a close, natural relationship and a village full of people who absolutely adore you.

Thank you to all who liked, reblogged, followed, and supported. Your support means so much and is greatly appreciated.

Not into romance? Here's some platonic childhood friends with Iruka hcs!

[leveneficor]

kakairu modern days

GUYS GUYS LISTEN TO ME

what if Iruka had studied at university to be a teacher

and the mf Kakashi, with his high abilities, had already graduated with a master's degree and a doctorate in computer science from the same university

and them they meet every day at the library, but Iruka doesn't know that he teaches and thinks he's just a student who spends all his time reading silly romance books

[shrkichigo]

NARUTO DUMP

ZABUZA ARC OVER :3

I lost my other first iruka edit so I remade it :3

Also ebisu is underrated

I hate zabuza and haku

[the-atlantic-french-fry]

My Naruto Headcanons

Tenten never married because she and Neji were secretly in love and were going to tell everyone after the war

It's still her biggest secret

Sakura and Shikamaru are Naruto's best friends

Sakura and Sasuke break up when Sarada is about 5 but co-parent so they can be with people they truly love

Kakashi and Iruka are in love and have been official life partners since the end of the war

Konohamaru wants to find his true love like Naruto and Hinata

Gaara and Rock Lee are very much in love but they didn't admit it until after Metal was born

Guy was Kakashi's first boyfriend but they agreed they were better as friends

Shikamaru refuses to believe he's turning into his father

Choji is happily turning into his father

Sai spent years trying to find his birth family after the war and never did

Karui wanted more kids but Choji was afraid to be a parent to even one

Killer B visits the Leaf so often everyone thinks he should move there

Naruto spends every one of Jiraiya's birthdays at Mount Myōboku and brings his kids when they're old enough

Himawari is everyone's favorite of the Uzumaki family

Shino is asexual but is deeply romantic

[kakashixhatakesxwhore]

How they sleep...headcanons

Includes my beloved Iruka, darling Kakashi, and dear Itachi (with bonus additions of lovely Shikamaru and sweet Sasuke) GN!Reader

Warnings: tad bit of language, and some raunchy bits (nothing crazy, reader discretion advised), tell me if this sucks

Masterlist💿

Iruka

He loves, loves, LOVES to cuddle

Even on the hottest nights of the year, Iruka still has his arm thrown over you, unable to get valuable sleep unless his bare skin was touching yours

Dies over being little spoon, adores it, and is internally screaming when you pull him close in your sleep

Sleeps in a pair of boxers, with the occasional t-shirt if he expects it to be especially cold in the night - the skin-to-skin contact with you usually keeps him plenty warm

Grinds his teeth in his sleep, and it makes his jaw pop in a painful way - but he refuses to get a nightguard because he heard it would make him drool

His hair gets messy in the night with how much he moves, but they're easy knots

Mumbles in his sleep, nothing coherent unless you prompt him, but he will always reply 'I love you more' even in the deepest slumber

Kakashi

Sleeps like the dead

If he's truly comfortable, Kakashi could sleep through a tornado without so much as a stir

That said, you will be locked into whatever position you fall asleep with him in, and he insists upon falling asleep with his limbs entangled with yours

Kakashi goes through violent hot and cold swings in the night, because his internal thermostat is broken - he doesn't move a muscle, used to the sweats/chills, but it prompts you to move around him according to the temperature swings

Gets multiple erections during the night

Has about fifty pairs of pyjama pants, some even have matching shirts, but will almost always fall asleep in his boxers

Sometimes, even if he does fall asleep with pyjama pants, he'll take them off in a half asleep daze at some point in the night

Goodnight kisses are a must every single night and good morning kisses are necessary every single morning, Kakashi's favourite part of getting to sleep next to you was the fact that your face was the first and last he saw in a day

Groans in his sleep, occasionally sighs your name, but is very silent and still, except for his face, scrunching up every ten minutes it seemed

Itachi

Goddamn somebody get this emmaciated man a warm bed and a long cuddle

He doesn't sleep much, and when he does, it's not continuous

Clenches his jaw while he sleeps, making it pop and lock throughout the night

Needs everything to be pitch dark and quiet as church service for him to hit even Stage 3 sleep, Itachi sleeps like a cat and will rouse with any noise

Frequent nightmares, and if he's having a peaceful sleep, it's dreamless

Sleeps best after a few orgasms

Loves feeling your body curled against him, so much so that even while sleeping, he'll stroke your back and whisper his adorations

Itachi always wakes up first and then stares at you until you wake up, he might play with your hair a little, but otherwise will just watch you sleep soundly

When you wake up, if there's time, he'll roll around with you, cuddling and kissing for an hour or two before he starts getting antsy to get up

Shikamaru

Falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow, but that never stops you from cuddling up close

About twice a week, he falls asleep fully clothed, and you have to peel the clothes off his uncooperative ass or else he'll get all whiny in the morning, waking up in yesterday's clothes without a hangover

Truly a sweetie, Shikamaru's always pulling at you while he sleeps - never hard enough to pull you right to him, but enough for your unconscious mind to get the hint

Favourite thing is spending entire mornings with you in bed, talking, cuddling, smoking

Ticklish as hell so you cannot just be wandering your hands over him while he's sleeping; he'll smack you away harshly and turn away (but not remember anything in the morning)

Will fully open his eyes and sit up at various points in the night, say something strange, then just go back down

You keep a small notebook to write down the ones you catch because you love how embarrassed Shikamaru gets to hear what he was saying in his sleep (he lowk finds it interesting as hell though)

Goes through phases where he cannot sleep, but hates it when you insist on staying up with him

Nah jk he loves the fact that you're willing to disrupt your own schedule for him but would never ever ask you to do so himself

Sasuke

Has a very long getting ready process; including a 40-minute long bathroom routine, the selecting of pyjamas, then he might like to read a book to fall asleep in lieu to cuddling with you

Spending so many formative nights without so much as a goodnight from someone he cared about forced him to start this process as a way for him to say goodnight to himself

Likes it when you join him, but if he's had a long day, prefers to do his routine alone

While he reads, or stares out the window wistfully, he's not opposed to you lying on his chest and will kiss your forehead as you drift off to his heartbeat

Sasuke's always cold, so you guys have quite the thick duvet and he's always wrapped to the chin when you wake up

He prefers to wake up first, preparing tea for two before he wakes you up as gently as he knows how to

Gets out of bed immediately after opening his eyes, always ready to start the day (though much to his chagrin)

[canonsinthehead]

Naruto Modern AU/Hollywood pt.5 - Evolution of Tecnologies & The Strongest Podcast

Since the industrialization of most large cities, new technologies, wireless devices, diversity of media, and better Internet connection have opened the flow gate for diverse opportunities and career paths online.

Streaming took over since techno scientists rushed the installation and promotion of such interfaces, after getting a glimpse of the promised profit along with funding from the rich families (Hyuuga and Senju) to do so. Video streaming and online media grew overnight across large and small nations as it is a new ineffective way of communication. Ideas can be shared and reach an unlimited audience to support your work. This new way of doing work proved itself to be helpful, as it reduced unnecessary paperwork for the Hokage.

In these times, an individual named Mizuki grew in popularity for strange reasons. A nobody like him released a series of videos, raging and insulting an elementary school teacher, Iruka Umino who was trying to teach his audience phonetics and how to improve reading skills. Out of nowhere, he called this man everything but a child of God. Red in the face, relentlessly huffing and puffing.

His rants gained a lot of attention because of their absurdity. This deranged weirdo made bold and outrageous claims about the teacher. His audience was perplexed (and low-key entertained) since Iruka was the least problematic person on the Internet. Efforts to shut down Mizuki made him angrier as he noticed people either clowned him or defended Iruka.

It went for the worst when Mizuki started doxing him and his students leading to the teacher unfairly losing his job. The turn of events took everyone by surprise, but in all humbleness, Iruka made an apology video taking the blame for the situation and the inconvenience it caused his students and their families. He likely touched on his past and how him and Mizuki were friends (they were dating, but he did not say that) before leaving social media to Mizuki’s enjoyment.

Months passed, and net-citizens searched to the end of the Earth for their favorite sweet Professor but couldn’t find him. They could not predict that the next time they would see him would be on TV…

Well, in the height of the crazy debacle with Mizuki, the lawyer turned A list actor Kakashi Hatake watched the whole scandal go down. He was practicing and training for his next movie: Speed Hour. An action comedy with fellow fitness influencer, celebrity trainer, and part-time actor: Might Guy.

The movie involved speaking a foreign language, which was not Kakashi’s best asset. His manager has been harassing him to improve his pronunciation because of that damn mask he wears 24/7. Let’s knock out two birds with one stone, so he reached out to Iruka after he heard the teacher lost his job to then hire him as a speech specialist and help him prepare for his role.

Iruka was hesitant at first but accepted. Due to the movie's success, he became a celebrity speech specialist. Kakashi was a long-time watcher of Iruka’s former video channel. He found his videos, relaxing (and thinks the nice teacher is super cute). Iruka can now be seen on the red carpets of special events and is dating Kakashi. What an upgrade!

When Mizuki found out his attempts at sabotaging the former teacher failed, he had a mental breakdown during one of his live streams.

He vanished from the Internet to let the dust settle but came back with “The Strongest Podcast” where he discusses subjects important to men. Don’t hope too much because it is just questionable conspiracy theories, red pill narratives, and “exposing celebrities” content with his unhinge antics. He has not changed at all.

Matter of fact, he had made a tradition with his cohosts to call everyone and their mama gay. He has been on Iruka since his newfound popularity. Mizuki spilled every single intimate detail of their past relationship not realizing he was exposing his orientation and abusive antics (I made him blow me when I was driving & the cheeks are clapping). Don’t call him out, Mizuki would foam at the mouth if you call him gay. (I’m a strong, alpha male! I don’t do that gay shit!). One day, Anko (invited as a guest) called him out for just being a bitter, scorned ex missing his narcissistic supply and how he would still hit it if he could (She was right) but got dragged out of this studio by force.

Mizuki has a larger following than most people would like to admit. He has a really supportive fan base who 1000% agree with him and go to the front lines to defend him. A lot of people (supporters and hate watchers) tune in for his conspiracy theories, and when he exposes celebrities along with another random dude named Kabuto. They claim to have exclusive sources and hidden information in the deepest pit of the dark web. 95% of anyone coming across their content laugh it off as insanely far-fetched and move on with their lives. Many theories, claim to be real have their audience in a chokehold:

               •             The Uchihas are devil worshippers

               •             They leaked Sasuke’s real surname and aristocratic affiliations, rushing the disbandment of Taka

               •             Demeaning and toxic ideologies against other nations disguised as scientific facts

               •             Red pill content

We give them less credit than they deserve because they are still two deranged grey men who make such unhinged statements that it overshadow any “ truth” they put out there like:

               •             Calling anyone and everyone gay (with “proof”)

               •             The Earth is shaped like a cube

               •             Konoha’s president, Minato Namikaze is in fact, a woman.

               •             All men from Kiri have 10+ inches dicks

               •             Claiming to be the perfect example of masculinity and handsome looks

The recent trick up their sleeves is swearing on God, the famous actor Itachi Uchiha is homosexual. They came up with the most outlandish, mind-boggling proofs to support their bogus claims

Most of their accusations were ignored by the general public and still are till this day. The minute they threatened to release hotel security footage, revealing the identity of the basketball player the actor was allegedly entangled with, Itachi’s PR team came through the back door (literally) and shushed the duo for good. They vanished overnight, without a trace. The supporters of the channel are still trying to give Justice to Mizuki by keeping remnants of his account alive as much as possible (This is an attack on freedom of speech!) but are struggling since the claims made barely scratched the actor's public image.

The most ironic thing about all of this is that Itachi’s sex tapes could be leaked tomorrow and not affect his career or the public opinion of him AT ALL. Weirdly, he could walk out of this level of controversy untouched and brand deals intact. People would just blink twice and keep it pushing like nothing happened.

NEXT PART

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[r0kudaiime]

kakairu is my favourite pairing tbh

[virtualcarrot]

Headcanon that the Umino used to be diving fishermen generations ago, before they relocated to landlocked Konoha. Being raised there has left Iruka as a shit swimmer, no in-water elegance or coordination, just enough basics that he won't drown, but with natural great lung capacity. This man can sink to the bottom of a lake and just play dead until danger passes.

[teatitty]

I don't think you realise how fucking badly I need to put Iruka in a hanfu. Been on my mind for literal weeks I just haven't thought of a good fic to slip it in there yet. I saw these ones and simply haven't been the same since

[wing-ed-thing]

Iruka x Reader x Kakashi Love Triange Headcanons

Tags/Warnings: No Reader Pronouns

𓆃 Hm... I guess you have a decision between a mentally stable, emotionally intelligent man with no commitment issues who is willing to settle down and give you anything you could humanly ask for... and Kakashi.

𓆃 Okay, perhaps that's not entirely fair, but that's certainly how Kakashi is bound to think.

𓆃 Due to the nature of the shinobi profession, most shinobi start young and retire young compared to other jobs. Even older shinobi take on less field work in favor of other high leadership opportunities.

𓆃 And at some point, a shinobi has to decide what their career path is going to be like, given that they're all so varied. This is likely to be the main point of contention when it comes to your triangle dynamic.

𓆃 Now, Iruka and Kakashi don't really know each other. Sure, Iruka is a prominent teacher at the academy and him and Kakashi have had professional interactions, but they aren't necessarily friends.

𓆃 And honestly, most of the triangle hinges on how they view each other rather than how they view you.

𓆃 Clearly, they view you positively and romantically, but pursuing you in spite of each other is where they almost get wrapped up in themselves in a way that a traditional "love triangle" typically doesn't function.

𓆃 They're both aware of their mutual interest in you. Kakashi is bound to figure this out first since he tends to have a sharper eye for these sorts of things, but Iruka isn't too far behind.

𓆃 You'll have a wonderful friendship with Kakashi and Iruka, which serves as the foundation for your budding relationships and their interactions with each other.

𓆃 The stand-up men they are, all Kakashi and Iruka want is for you to be happy... they just can't agree on what that means.

𓆃 Kakashi sees Iruka as a stable partner who can provide for you and who you won't have to worry about losing. He knows that he's emotionally unavailable and struggles when it comes to commitment. He believes that until his inner problems are 100% fixed, he's not ready for a long-term relationship and is a serial self saboteur.

𓆃 Meanwhile, Iruka doesn't consider himself to be someone with a lot to offer. He's a chūnin who's been in the same position his whole life. Teaching isn't very glamorous, and he considers the dynamic you have with Kakashi to be more exciting for you.

𓆃 He perceives Kakashi as able to offer you a more fulfilling like compared to his "boring routine."

𓆃 Sometimes, they make meaningful eye contact when the three of you are together, and the communication varies each time.

𓆃 Sometimes, it's Kakashi communicating that you've had a really bad day and your level of upset is more in Iruka's skill range. Or maybe you're leaving a party, and Iruka is telling Kakashi that he should probably walk you home.

𓆃 What's a truly juicy dynamic is if you're dating them at the same time. Perhaps you're casually dating because you're already thinking about your future as a shinobi. Or maybe you're a civilian who's anxious about dating shinobi men.

𓆃 But they know. They do know that you're dating the both of them trying to feel out of you want to make anything official if anything else. And they're cool with it for the most part.

𓆃 If you happen to have a, "wait... the two of you know each other?" moment, expect more meaningful eye contact.

Thank you to all who liked, reblogged, followed, and supported. Your support means so much and is greatly appreciated.

Notes: GREAT NOW I WANT TO WRITE THIS WHOLE CASUAL DATING SCENARIO